Pride

In the past, Jason and I have always taken a fairly vocal stance against 'rainbow capitalism', or any company-wide progressive “branding”. It felt and still feels pandering and manipulative- a completely banal way to garner appreciation by doing basically nothing. This year, I'm rethinking that. Not because I believe that companies slapping a rainbow icon onto their socials actually does make a difference, especially when the companies behind the rainbows use their revenue to support anti-LGBTQ+ politicians or groups, but because of what those rainbows symbolized for society as a whole. I have to admit it has been nice living in a time where a company stood to benefit from the rainbow logo, instead of being motivated (whether through money or threats) to remove it. So in the spirit of keeping that version of our society going, here we are.

One of the misconceptions that I had growing up that I didn't recognize until recently is that humanity does not move with exclusively forward momentum. I was under the naive impression that whether by massive leaps or steady deliberate pushes, society would always be moving towards a better future for everyone. A future filled with empathy, love and understanding. That is not the case. Sometimes, society stumbles (or is pushed) backwards. When that happens, as I believe it has this past decade or so, it can feel hopeless.

I have identified as queer for most of my life, and have been lucky enough to feel safe expressing that openly. Part of that has been the privilege that comes with being a white cis woman. If I were to be attacked for my identity, the majority of the people around me would still protect me, even if they did not like what I was saying or doing. That is to say that when I was threatened, and I have been, I was able to reach out and ask for help and I received it. Even from people in my community who did not like or understand me. That has been a blessing and something I do not take for granted. It is something I wish were the case for everyone, and seems to be true for fewer people as of late.

I, like many, have felt an overwhelming amount of anxiety as I've noticed the recent shift in the nationwide conversation around my community. Particularly against the trans and nonbinary members of that community. The fear mongering that is taking place and the scrutiny some members of our society are showing against something as harmless as someone needing to use a restroom is infuriating. Just let people piss. I can't believe this is an issue. But it really isn't. It's a tactic, and it is working.

I refuse to let anyone turn a group of people into targets just because they see it as an easy enemy. I will not let those with hateful intent tell me who does and does not belong in the queer community, and who has and has not earned my empathy. I will happily stand beside any person and defend their right to exist against anyone who claims they shouldn't. More than anything, I want people to internalize this- you do not need to fully understand (or even like) a person to recognize their humanity and right to exist as they are. You can stand up for someone who is being attacked if you do not want to have a beer with them. Your kindness is not a trophy to be earned, but a trait you can decide to exhibit simply because you know the difference between right and wrong.

It is easy to feel powerless right now in a world where everyone has a voice, thanks to the internet and social media, but only a few have the ability to weaponize it and rally others. It's too easy to feel like your individual actions do not matter, and there's nothing you can do to push back the rising tide of vitriol that we've all watched grow. You are not alone in feeling this way.   

I don't have answers, but I do have some suggestions.

The first will always be to vote. Even when it feels pointless, even when it's difficult, voting is the tiniest way you can make your voice heard among the cacophony of bullshit that makes up modern discourse. Even if you think voting is stupid, just do the stupid thing. It's washing the dishes. It's cleaning the laundry. It's a task that needs to be done to keep the mess from piling up.

My next suggestion is simply to live your life beholden to your own values. Accept that you won't always be perfect, but try to hold yourself to your own moral standard. Acknowledge when you trip up and keep it in the back of your mind for next time. Be the person you want to be, whenever you can.   

I acknowledge this has moved away from Pride a bit. Let me refocus, but also argue that I didn't veer too far off. Part of Pride has always been about taking care of one another, of holding hands with folks who are on different journeys but face similar struggles. You may be a straight cis person and reading this- as far as I'm concerned if you are standing with us, you belong here. We are the most powerful when we accept all kinds. Don't let petty differences divide or distract us from what we all deserve- that forward momentum that I once believed was inevitable. Unfortunately that is not the case, but we can choose to move forward even when it becomes difficult.

So when in doubt, choose kindness. It's one of the only things we can control.