Nightmares

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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Let's go around the room real quick. I know we've already had a lot of screwing around. Let's go around. I'm Jason Massey, I'm the DM, and I talk a lot in these episodes. And you say "fuck" too much. I did early on. I'm getting better. He leveled up. He now has more words in his vocabularies. It's true. Justin, who do you play? I am Jarvik... Nope. ...Button. Come on, Andrew. Come on. I'm, um, um... Benjamin Button. [laughs] Jarek Ironhide? I keep forgetting the first name. All I know is Ironhide because it's very rememberable. Rememberable. Butts made out of iron.

Dan? Hi, I'm Dan. I will be playing the part of Rodswell Joybatom. Uh, Rob? Hey, I'm Robert Weezahan. I'll be playing Malkus Grimness, Tiefling Warlock. Uh, Tom? Hey, I'm Tom, and I'm a minotaur. [laughs] Race, class, specialization, equipment, all minotaur. Andrew Biznetard, minotaur. Name, minotaur. Uh, Tyler? Uh, I play Thoril Songsteel, the human vampire. A non-sparkly, glittery one. Yes. Alright, let's dive right into this. Uh, it's hours after the events of the last sitting. Uh, it took a while for the group to clean the blood and gore off the walls and floor, as well as dump the bodies just outside of town.

And these are the bodies that were just in your headquarters. Uh, the group laid down for a short rest as the result of their very busy night. Uh, space was cleared out for their newly made friends. The human cleric Rodswell Joybottom, Joybatom, sorry. Uh, father of the late Duncan Joybatom. And the minotaur fighter, Yenward Firestomp. Uh, who is menacing in battle, but apparently useless in a library. [laughs] He never learned how to read. Uh, as the group sleeps, dark visions haunt Malkus. A pitch black cave, a rickety bridge, a friend screaming as he falls to his demise.

Lightning crashes and Malkus is awoken from his tortured sleep to find it is covered in something wet. The entire city of Overdale is being assaulted by a terrible thunderstorm, and the roof of the group's headquarters can't help but leak in many spots. Uh, the noise wakes the rest of the group from its slumber, except for Ironhide, who has no need for sleep. Uh, it's dark enough though, uh, it's dark even though it's the middle of the day. Wind gusts can be heard very clearly outside of the, outside as the storm pounds away at the buildings and structures.

Uh, so you guys have all just woken up, it's, it's a really stormy day out. Uh, what would you guys like to do? What time is it? It's, it's, it's middle of the day, it's not, it's not much later than when you guys went to sleep. You guys basically just caught a nap. It was dawn when you guys went to bed. Uh, Malkus starts his day by taking a huge swig from his flask and trying to forget. [laughs] Good and worthless during combat now. [laughs] I'm gonna swing at him. No. Well, I think the main thing that we need to look at right now, considering, uh, the last show, uh, I'm sorry, yesterday, um, Ironhide had a lot of things to say about possibly staging coups, um, yet we also have this whole book thing that you guys really haven't even filled me in on yet.

I'm not even sure what that's all about. Uh, what are we doing next? What's our next, what's our next, uh, thing here? Someone in this party arbitrarily decided that the Minotaur should carry the key because a new person should have one part of this equation and an old person should have the other part. Well, I don't think anybody arbitrarily decided. I thought that, uh, it was, you know, I remember it was strongly suggested by someone. Everyone was ruling out the idea that he could, that Yynnward could have it, and that shouldn't have been ruled out.

There's no reason for that. It sounded like, the person spoke up as if they wanted a problem to happen. Yes. No, we should have more drama, guys. Okay, so right now, Malkus holds the key. I'm pacing, by the way, back and forth. Uh, which is, if you, if you forget, is a hexagonal shaped, uh, key that fits in the latch of the book. Uh, the book itself, Yynnward's actually carrying. Alright, that's, that's probably the safest place to put it. Okay, so... I'm serious. So, like I said, now do you guys even know what this book is, honestly? We know people want it.

Okay, but we don't, you, you don't know what it is. It's tied to the legend, and Jason, uh, I'm sure Malkus says the right thing, even if Rob doesn't. Uh, it's tied to the legend of a great hero whose crypt we can go into and find great power if we open it there? Question mark? That's about, that's, I mean, you guys don't know an incredible amount about it, and that's kind of, uh... It also serves as a sandwich press. Yes. And we can't just open it? Why can't we open it? Uh, there's, there was never anything that said you guys can't open it. You have the key and the book, I mean, I'm just...

We should open it. Are there any historical, historically known repercussions for opening the book? Uh, you guys could do a history check? Yeah, I like this sound better. Who has history? Um... I have... I do not... Uh... Twelve. Okay, that'd be you, yeah. Eeeew! Twelve? Twelve. Uh, in your travels... No, he has a plus. He has a plus. I have a plus twelve. Oh, plus twelve. I thought that was a... I have twenty-six. Twenty-six, okay. Uh, in all of your travels, uh, while you have heard of the book, you have, you, you've obviously heard of, of, uh, the great barbarian Drauk.

Uh, you... Very little is known about the book itself. Like, very, very little specifically, uh, that you've heard. So, the odds of it being a map, at least to, like, a town where people could actually tell the story proper, and, like, just a whole bunch of stories, or journal pages, like, that could be, like, a good possibility that that could be what it is, right? Like, maps, or, like, leading you closer to the place, the tomb, or whatnot. Well, he wasn't tied to, to magic, really. I mean, he was a barbarian, so the odds of it being a spellbook... No, no, I mean, like, a journal of his.

Right. To say, like, "Oh, this is what I'm doing right now. Dear journal." He seemed like a guy with deep thoughts. Susie is still ignoring me. Yeah, still. His, his left hand could still be, like, more... So, why exactly, why exactly haven't you opened this book? You have the key. Because I don't know what it does, and we're not really focused on the book right now. Okay, so, then what are we focused on? It's either been vampires, people being bit by vampires... Okay, so, do we want, I mean, that's, that's my question. What's our next move? Uh, if you guys want to talk about overthrowing the government and doing all that, then maybe we should discuss that.

How about we talk to the mayor first? Asking how he feels about being overthrown? Yeah! How's this my feeling in your attack? Give a stance on things. I think, yeah, I honestly think that, you know, in, in this, in this process that we've had here discussing all this, I... Going to the, going to the interim mayor is probably going to be the best bet, because honestly, I don't know if this town... Is as behind all of you as you perceive it to be. Let's find out. I mean, yeah, like... So you guys want to take a trip? Go, go chat it up with the mayor? I think that sounds, I mean, that's kind of, yeah, that sounds good.

Also, I'm certainly under, I'm certainly under no delusions that anyone's behind me specifically. Well, it's 20 today. It's raining. It's, yeah, it's, it's, there's a pretty bad thunderstorm going on, so Thor can walk around town. There doesn't seem to be any danger of the sun coming out. We don't have to worry about the Black Hand anymore, so... So, so to Rodswell, Malkus says, "So in answer to your question, we haven't opened it yet because we keep putting new and crazy things on our plate before we get a chance." Okay, okay. This is certainly like a boss battle.

At the very end, when we have nothing else going on, a rainy day, not like today... We'll actually crack that one open. It's like, it's like Ruby Weapon or Emerald Weapon in FF7. It's like totally optional, but we're sure it's very important. You watch, Rodswell goes, "Oh, Final Fantasy VII, I understand." Now it all makes sense. You need, you need, you need not say anymore. Let's go visit. Before we do anything else, Tom, can you see anything? Yeah, everything's fine. Alright. I would like to think he would have said something before we got started. Well, I don't know if he's being nice, it's like, I can't see a damn thing, nor do I understand what you're saying, but let's do it.

I'm feeling good. Yeah, Tom doesn't speak English. He's just been taking really good guesses. He's got a great phrasebook. Yes. Marcee? He just kind of moves his mouth like we do. All he speaks is Spanish, but everything he learned, everything he learned was just from like television commercials. Hey, Minotaur, take me to the mayor's. That makes Tom the Chinese room. Are you guys familiar with the Chinese room? No. Uh, and the moment I said that I realized it could take up to five minutes to explain. Maybe I'll explain. Alright, let's get going to that mayor.

I like how I moved off Tom and Tom moved himself back on. He didn't want to drop you. So you guys leave your headquarters and you start walking across town. Minotaur in tow, tiefling, vampire. Minotaur tiefling, robot, and vampire. And firstly, the rain is just pounding at you. It's cold, it's wet. The reaction you get from people varies. Because it's been hours since you guys have went on a kill-crazy rampage through town. Well, hopefully the blood washed away off of weapons and skin and metal. There are some people who are ecstatic with the fact that you have eliminated a blight on the city.

And being underground or not, there's a lot of people with common knowledge of the Black Hand and what he was not only capable of, but just the menace. Like constantly looming over town. That smugness of knowing he's doing something terrible and not getting stopped for it. And then there's the other half who see you guys as nothing more than a violent grouping of vigilantes. Who, I mean already tieflings aren't looked at in this city with high regard. And then you had a vampire and a minotaur on top of that. I don't see where they get the perception that we're violent.

Well, you're walking through town. You killed 27 people. I could have recently hired a man with a cloth. And that's great. And I'm not mentioning Rod Swill specifically because he doesn't exactly stand out in your grouping. Like you guys are strutting through town and Thoril's wearing his black robes and cape and he's got his claws on. And then you got Malkus who, even if he were to wear an apron and walk through town, still tiefling. And then you have an eight foot minotaur walking behind you who has no, I mean most of you guys have a rep in town. You've won the tournament of champions.

You've done this, you've done that. But again, last night you were tied to many murders in town. Horrific violent murders. It's true. And it's terrible for anybody that got in the way and that actually seen any of this. I'm just saying that they got in the way and that they witnessed all the people dying. But anybody that died was certainly dregs of the universe. They weren't, they were nothing to be admired. I'm sorry. I'm just imagining just Ironhide viciously stabbing all these thugs and then he turns around and sees a little boy staring like with his jaw open standing in the doorway of the bar.

And he's like, "Oh, very sorry you had to see this kid." That's when you put Ironhide hat on him and say, "Stay in school." Positive message. Positive message. So look at it this way. Okay, so yes, we, to us, the Black Hand was, you know, bad. But at the same time, if you look at it like they were the mafia, while the mafia is a bad thing, there are a lot of people who rely on what they do. So even, so like, we might have pissed people off even, maybe they aren't the best people in the world that we pissed off, but some of the people that we pissed off could have been people who, you know, were just like, "Well, this is a living." You know?

I love that now we get calm, explain it all Rodswell, whereas last time we sat down, it's, "Cut the fucking hands off!" Well, that was in a heat, that was right after battle. Quick to anger, slow to quarrel. Well, if they wanted to make a point, which it sounded like they did, that was what they used to do. Right, yeah. So, Thoril has a smile kind of creep across his face, because, two reasons. One, he gets to walk around in daytime, which is a rarity, obviously. It's beautiful weather outside. And two, Tyler has a, has this cold feeling deep inside of him all the time.

And seeing you guys visibly uncomfortable with the weather kind of makes him feel more connected to you guys as a group. I'm not uncomfortable. Well, I mean, he's just as cold and wet as you guys, but he's, he could sit next to a fire all day and still feel, like, just kind of cold. Yeah, but I don't get cold. Well, no, you don't, no. No, but you could get rusty. It is raining. Funny you should mention, no. Ironhide, roll for initiative against rain. Uh, after all saving throws, everything. Every step. That's how this game just sucks. When he walks around out here during the daytime, does it just look like a buffet of tasty villagers walking by?

Um, well, after last night, he's pretty well fed. Okay, okay. Well, look, I mean, but, but here's the thing, like, even if you're well fed, if you walk by the chocolate fountain, you're not, just not gonna not dip something in it. Oh, that's true. That's, that is true. Um, you guys have, have reached the mayor's house and you... Is that him? Yes. We'll, we'll get to it in one second. Uh, so, a cadre of guards, uh, is standing outside and when they see you approach, they kind of ask you to halt. Uh, what business do you have here? Uh, we wanted to speak to the mayor.

About what? About him being the mayor. Just want civil chat. We'll leave our weapons out here. Uh, do you guys want to leave your weapons out there? I have horns, sure. Yeah, but your charge works half the time. If we're leaving our weapons out of the conversation, I feel like one of us should stay back to watch them, not hand them all over the custody of the guards. Someone's thinking. Alright, the vampire must stay back. They didn't ask you, by the way, they didn't ask you to leave your weapons outside. You completely volunteered that. I say leave our weapons behind because we're civil, right?

Show up good faith. Malchus would like to be in there for the conversation, but he'll volunteer to stay out with the weapons if no one else does. I'm gonna throw this out there, uh, if I'm gonna have one of us guarding the weapons, and I'd love to have him inside, don't get me wrong, but, um, I think the minotaur is probably gonna be the one that I want guarding our weapons. Okay, I, uh, I have something to say, like, I think this isn't because I don't like this person. It's because I think it would make sense. I think, uh, Rodswell should stay back.

Out of all of us, he's the only human, and I think having a minotaur, a demon, or a vampire back there with the guards, that'll just tempt somebody to stay. I'm gonna point out that I'm a priest and he's a priest, but if you want me to stay back, I'll stay back. I'm also gonna point out that we're very quick to trust people, that we've known less than 24 hours. Uh, the guard is pinballing back and forth watching you guys have this conversation. I'll stay back! Hands up to our mouths, you can't hear anything. He's deaf. I'll take back, but I'm taking it as a personal shot, Justin.

I'm just letting you know that now. So what was decided? I'm lost. I guess I'm, I guess, I guess I'm not a little sad. Put your weapons behind. And? I'm thinking I want to rethink that personally, just for now. I don't want to speak for the group or anything. Okay, raise your hand if you want to stay back. Oh, okay. Wait, why, why are we keeping our weapons back? They didn't ask us to. Out of good, out of good faith, this should be like a second or two to figure this out. It's taken minutes. The guard looks at his watch. Malchus says, Malchus says here, fork him over, I'll build him.

Okay, good, good. Malchus stays back. We don't need to turn on our weapons! Guard! Why don't you come in with us and we won't turn on our weapons? How does that sound? The guard is, look, not only was no one asked to stay back, no one asked for your weapons or anything, he simply asked why you were here. That was it. That was it. He said why we were here and he just stared at us like a racist guard. You didn't let him answer! You just were like, okay, well, okay, let's give you our weapons. Malchus is looking at the guard and he's like, is it because I'm red?

It's because I'm red, isn't it? Look, sir, we recently had some issues. We've lost a couple people on our team. We've been doing a lot of work for the town recently. We would like to discuss that with the Inter-Mayor if we were allowed to. Yeah, go in. It's fine. And Malchus joins us in the game. The game, the game froze on me. Ah! I'm back now. Oh, man. Alright. You guys have not been in this house since the celebration after the Tournament of Champions. You notice several things have changed. A lot of the gaudy decor has been taken down. The large handmade wooden chair that was specially created for the morbidly obese previous mayor has been removed.

A large portion of the back has been converted into a smaller office type thing. Religious scripture and things have filled up bookcases. It's just a lot more modest looking. But it's still quite a large house for one man. Yeah, for one person. It's still very much the largest house in town. The Inter-Mayor, Father Zan and Carter, is sitting at the end of a banquet table and he sees you all walk in and he gestures for you to come back to speak to him. So we all entered, right? Because we didn't need to turn in our stuff? No one, no, yeah, you have your weapons, you have, you're fine.

There was no need for any of that. Okay. That's fine. So... So I pull up a seat at the table. There's already food on the, it's like heavy food, it's just never Queens. He starts off by making eye contact with Malkus. And then as soon as the Minotaur crosses the threshold of the room... I got it. He immediately changes directions, his eyes kind of widen slightly. And then he looks at Thoril and an obvious tinge of disgust hits his face. I don't like it, but I can see how he would do that, like being a man of whatever religion and such, and Thoril being cursed.

He sounds impatient already with you. And he asks, "What brings you guys here today?" Hmm. Ironheart? Like already he's disgusted with the company that we keep, the people that save the day more than once, more than twice around this place. Alright, well, with the recent happenings that's been going on around town, what's this whole thing about the mayor situation? Like, is this permanent with you? He crosses the expanse between you and has a seat at the table. He kind of lets out a slow sigh and he explains, "I'm it until they find someone better." And I'll have you know that I have helped run this city for years before our previous mayor died.

I am more than capable of filling the shoes as a mayoral candidate. But you're not happy? Not with you, gentlemen, no. Hmm. Not because it's just like, "Blah." What, with the whole black hand business? Uh, several things. Do you have any idea what kind of mess you created for me last night? A little. You murdered more than half a dozen men in the streets of the city. Oh yeah. And then you ventured across town to the Warrens and killed more than half a dozen other men. Are we naming murderers, rapists, thieves, men? Was there a reason you couldn't consult with the town guard?

Was there a reason you couldn't involve the law in any way? There isn't a town guard. There are town guards. There's no captain of the guard. Why isn't there a captain of the guard? Well, I'm looking at you guys. Whoa, that wasn't our fault. We can't consume with competing with you gentlemen instead of doing his job. If we were more concerned with doing his job, he would still be with us today. I apologize we couldn't stroke his ego. I don't want to hear anything from you, vampire. Ooh, racist. Sir, sir, please. There's no need for that. I gave you gentlemen an opportunity to take care of that problem.

And you chose to come back with that. What problem? The vampire problem. You take care of it. It was either killing a little girl... I know full well what was involved. Sir! Sir, you call yourself a man of the cloth? It's sad that an innocent would have to die, but how many has he slain to slake his thirst? If you were truly a man of the cloth, mind you, this is not my opinion, but if you were truly a man of the cloth, your job at that point would have been to rid the world of him. As opposed to letting a little girl die. I recommend you don't give him any further advice, Rod Swell.

No, I'm sorry. He pushes away from the table, his eyes and marrow. He crosses the expanse, and he is nose to nose with you. I am sorry. I respect what you do around here, but that was a poor decision. And I think if you truly are a man of God, it would be a poor decision as well. He cuts you off. You lecture me on being a man of God. When you had the hands of your enemies removed, you mutilated corpses to send a message. And then murdered the man you sent the message to all in the same evening. At least the men that I was doing it against were evil and not an innocent little girl.

I would hope that you had more sense than your son did. Malchus stands up and just says, "It's gotten cold in here," and walks out. Sir, I have a question for you. When I was told about my son's death, your name was mentioned as a source. I came here seeking you and these men to retrieve the remains of my son. My question to you is, once I got here, I was informed that my son had died hours previous. And not... I had found out about the death of my son, technically, before it happened. And your name was the one involved. Until you can give me answers about that, I don't think you should be lecturing anybody here about their actions.

If you're insinuating I had anything to do with the death of your son, we firstly have a larger problem than I had already previously thought. And secondly, I have had you men watched now for quite some time. There have been several scouts keeping an eye on your actions. For good reason. Then where were they when the Black Hand was sending messages to them? Are you saying his scouts were... His scouts were watching us. They should have seen the Black Hand sending messages. Aren't those scouts able to take care of the Black Hand who was sending "messages" to these men?

It wasn't legal what we were doing. It wasn't legal what they were doing either, but they should take care of one of them. I think it's time you gentlemen left this city. Immediately. I think it's time you pack your things and leave. But I don't think everyone wants us to leave. It's not up to them. I have to know what's best for this city and you gentlemen are not it. You're acting mayor right now. That's not the actual mayor. I say a free election should happen. No, he is... well, acting mayor is mayor still. Not with his throat cut. They let us keep our weapons, motherfucker!

Stand with them! Let me ask you something. Does this blade feel sharp to you? Take his rug. Take his rug? The source of his power. What would he stab if he's not going to need it? He's got a bigger problem. Sir, you're asking us to leave the town completely? He shakes his head yes. Okay. Well, here's what I'm going to... here's what I'm bringing to you. These men here have helped this town in the past. They have also made mistakes. People here, there are some people here that glorify them. There are some that don't like them. And obviously me and you disagree greatly on things.

There are a lot of unanswered questions in this town and there was wrongdoing on both sides of the table that we were standing on. Let us stay and we will cause you no more trouble. And we will... because if we leave, what's... how safe is this town going to feel? I understand that we make messes, but we also provide safety. And I think you have a much bigger problem on your hands without a leader of the guard, especially if you kick us out. He seems to think about your offer for a moment and then shakes his head no. The truth... the truth is the body count here has exponentially increased since you gentlemen showed up.

You have brought nothing but chaos and destruction. And every moment you stay here, you seem to get more brazen. Body count would be a lot higher if we weren't here. From who? No one was killing anyone until you showed up. There was... there was people dying from vampires living under the town. And you gentlemen helped out with that, but then you brought one here living inside the city. And he got pretty full yesterday by eating a whole bunch of rapists and killers. He hasn't done any harm to any innocents. Rather than killing little girls. So he didn't almost rip the throat out of the previous mayor?

I didn't witness that? No, his heart killed him way before he can actually do that. Yeah. You were there. You know that we didn't kill him. Yeah, well if you remember that was like he watched Thoril kind of steal himself. It's like, "Oh, nope. Can't kill him." How is it that you need this giant house? I'm saying like, like to the mayor, like it's like obvious that you... that one man doesn't need all this. Malchus isn't there. I'm just... I... I'm just saying that for my own benefit. That's all. I was like, I was gonna say something and I was like, "Wait a minute." Not present.

Not present. You could feel free to enter again if you... Oh no, Malchus has found a nearby bar and is drinking himself into it. He went out for a cigarette smoke or something. Well I hope it's not the Warrens. They're still cleaning up. Malchus decided to go on a bender. Alright, completely useful for anything else coming up. Do you mind if I meet with my men here, or with our... with the crew here? Would we talk for a moment? Because right now you're sending us out to be homeless. And we would need to plan our next steps. So before we leave, would you mind if we discuss a little bit in private?

Uh, please do. Okay. So he's gone. He can't hear us now, right? Uh... Let's put a stand right there. Everybody gather. Yeah. Okay, we're killing this guy, right? This side of the room. This side of the table is a wall. You cannot get past this wall right here. No way you can hear anything outside of this. Outside this table. Yeah. Tables being super sound. Someone beat Malchus. He needs to be in on this. Someone page him. So, he kind of adjourns to his back office there. And you guys are sitting at this banquet table. Yes. Um... We have him on the ropes. Here, by the way.

He's... Do you? Eh, I think so. I think so. I think... He obviously was the second in command. He was the one talking to the people. Getting things done. The other guy just ate and died. Here's the thing. I think that he wants full control of the city. I think that he thinks that he should be more than interim. And he's a bit insulted that he has to go with that title. And we could do a couple things. If we wanted to stay in the town, I think that if we put our support behind him and told him... ...with our stroke in the city, regardless of how he feels, I think that he might feel as if we could help him out a bit.

Or we could just fucking overthrow him. This is what I think. If we go with that first thing you said about being his helper... ...he will just push all the blame on us. We're in chaos. All we do is create death and bloodshed all through the city. We're an easy escape group. He can do that. It's kind of like Batman. He can blame us, but then we can still clean up whatever he needs and make money off of it. Did you say a scapegoat? You mean scapegoat. A scapegoat is like a superhero. No, it's a goat escaping blame. A scapegoat is like a vigilante superhero. That's a goat that constantly...

Or we could, if you want, or we could just leave and tackle this book thing. This is up to you guys. Once again, I apologize. First off, he was way out of... I have my own thoughts about you, Thoril, but he was way out of line with what he said about you. I also feel like it's kind of weird that the two options we have are helping him out and supporting him and being a scapegoat for murders and chaos. Or the second option is actually murder and chaos. Or the third option is leave and move on. I say we talk to the people. This is ridiculous. I don't think how are we going to be able to talk to the people?

He's not letting us. And by the way, I didn't say we actually overthrow him. I just said threaten him. That's another option. He's scared. That would make us look like heroes. Get the fuck out of my face. You shut up. I mean, we could just barge out right now and start talking, but I don't know what kind of reaction... We can't talk to him anymore. He is completely... He's completely set in his ways. I have a question. Does anybody have a good diplomacy? I don't think that's me. Now's the time. I can try. I got a +4. I only have a +1. Robots aren't good. Malchus is probably the highest.

Of course the minotaur does not. Malchus is probably the highest. Who is he going to intimidate? I have bluff. Okay, well what would you guys like to do here? And we'll go from there. How would you like to handle this situation? Is it a thing where... Is it an intimidate thing? Are you trying to... What would you like to do? And then we'll decide. I can do. You know, okay, here's my thought. So Malchus says he has a good bluff, right? So when Malchus is in here, we lie to him. We tell him, "Oh, everything will be cool." And he lets him stay for... Because we can't do it.

If we really want to help this town, we can't help it from outside. And I have a feeling that any time we try to get in this town, once he's kicked us out, once we walk out these doors, we're going to have a fight to get in. Problem is, that's what we've been doing this entire time except for this last... This last... Except for yesterday, where we help the town from the outside. Where we go out, we hunt down vampires, we go out, kill drakes or help the mayor's daughter, which I don't know where she is. Right, but I'm saying, you want to help this town from the inside.

Once we walk out these doors, we're out. This is the last opportunity we have. So unless we can figure out a way to do this right now, we're going for the book. You know, so do we want... I mean, how do you want to do it? Do we want to intimidate him? Do we want to lie to him? Do you want to try to make amends? I mean, what... If we lie to him, he's just going to have the upper hand the next time he wants to speak to us. Unless he doesn't find out. But he's going to find out that we're talking to people outside of his building. I think we should try being diplomatic first, and then if he's unwilling to discuss it, then we'll intimidate him.

I feel like we should try taking a much different route first. Does anybody have good diplomacy though? I have plus one. I have plus four. Malchus has plus seven. Malchus has the best diplomacy. We have to get Malchus back in here, guys. You know, here's what I'm going to... Minotaur, why don't you go get Malchus? They're not going to do anything to you. Okay. Go pull him out of the bar and bring him back. Alright. So, so Yenward goes out to find Malchus? Yes. The Minotaur is going to go find the tiefling, I'm understanding this correctly? In the middle of a violent thunderstorm in town?

I just, I'm just asking. Okay. The moment you exit the mayor's house, the moment Yenward exits the mayor's house, he sees Malchus noisily stagger out of a nearby bar. God damn you. Like, barely keeping his own feet under him. And he goes, "Yenward! Yenward, come here. Come here. I got the greatest idea." I'm listening. I'm all ears. Alright. Now, you're like horns and stuff, but that's okay. You're trying. Thank you. It's not my system at all. It would be in Yenward's, like, personality to be perfectly, uh, perfectly patient with drunks. See, the reason that you and me got to meet up with you... ...and we got to take all this crap from everybody... ...is because we don't have what that book is going to get us.

And they don't even like us here right now. They don't like, no, they just want us to go and be out where it's rainy all the time... ...instead of just rainy when you got a roof over, or when you don't have the roof. We just got to walk out and don't give them the satisfaction of throwing us out. And then we go and we find the barbarians, uh, whatever it is in the hole in the ground with the book... ...and then we come back and then, then Yenward, that's when we get the respect. So, Yenward, uh, looks at Malkus, and then he just kind of picks him up by his ropes and carries him back into the bar. *laughter* He might pass his own.

Wait, so, Yenward and Malkus are hanging out in the bar together now, and we're just looking... Back into the parents' house, I mean. Oh, okay, good. That was... The world just goes, "They're not coming back, are they?" Okay, so you guys are back in here. Malkus says he's slumped over Yenward's shoulder, just muttering like, "I bet I could drink your hairy ass under the table." Okay, so we see Yenward dragging Malkus into the mayor's office and quickly realize, "This isn't going to work." Does Yenward set Malkus down? Yes. Malkus sees Rodswell, he walks up to him, and he puts his hands on his shoulders, and he goes, "You have his eyes!" And then he just openly starts weeping.

I'm going to remind the Trunkard that I'm not his actual father. That's even better, that. "You have his eyes!" Yes, I have his eyes. Good, good. This is useless. Maybe... hmm... Sweet lump angel! So, Carter comes out of his office. Have you gentlemen reached a decision? I think we're out. You'll see, you'll see someday when we've got what the book is gonna... you'll get it. Ironhide, I'm gonna let you, uh, take the decision here. I think we're gonna stay. After... after... I'm gonna take this over, I'm gonna throw walks around the table, and I'm... everybody's just kinda...

I'm gonna try to be diplomatic about it. I'm gonna try to... the vampires do a diplomacy. Now, hold on a second. One second. After Malkus starts yelling about the book... Well, firstly, Carter can see that Malkus is clearly violently intoxicated. One. He's gotta throw up all over his nice Chinese rugs. Two. He's taken what you said as a threat. But it's the threat of a drunk man, basically. So, he's kind of... he narrows his eyes at you, but... Oh shit, yeah, he probably heard him say all this stuff about "we'll come back here and take care of business and stuff." No, not that!

But he said... Yeah. He didn't hear that, but it was "you'll see!" That kinda, like... You know, if any drunk man says the words "you'll see," not usually followed by something good. He's usually stupid enough to act. Right. So, Thoril walks up to Carter. What are you gonna try here? Kiss him. I should say, I eat him outright. I just... vampire him. I figured if nothing else, we can at least burst before anything else. Just try to be diplomatic and say, you know, that we've done a lot of not good here, but we've also helped out a lot, too. And I feel like we could be more useful here than just being banished.

Try a diplomacy roll for me. Alright. I gotta shit. God damn it. This is gonna be bad. So... You give him my intimidate roll now. Guess I know this isn't gonna work. Holy shit, I have a +6. Let me do it. Well, it's a little late now. He's already walked up to him and given him an 8. Thoril gives him that impassioned speech. And then shouts "fuck." For seemingly no reason. Which bewilders Carter. He's getting quite the mixed message. Did he say "fuck" or something like that, or did he just say "fuck" at the end? I think we do a lot of good here, fuck. I think we do a lot of good here.

Fuck! Like he stubbed his toe or something, but nothing happened. They were just standing there talking. He's reacting to leaving his light on in his room. Fuck. It's a lantern. That could burn... And to his ex-bliv, Malchus is just like "I know, right?" So wait, I can't even try? Go ahead now. I wanted to resolve that. 25. 25 is much better. What do you want to say, Malchus? Look, we have our own business to take care of. We're not gonna cause any trouble around here. We don't mean you any harm. We don't want to give the innocent people of this town any harm.

We are looking for a roof over our heads for now. Just let us stay. So, he seems to take a deep breath and calm down a lot. And the next words he says to you are... "I was very troubled to hear about your son's passing, despite what I had said earlier." "Of this group, he had the most potential to do great things." I don't know if I'd agree with that, but... To fit in with the rest of the citizens of Overdale. I mean, of this group, not of... Oh, politically. You're specifically being political. Right. He had... He could have been a great entertainer. It's a shame he chose the life of adventure.

Obviously, he wasn't suited for it. And he's kind of taking a turn again, where it kind of sounds insulting. I will take the blame for that. And he kind of stops. And says, "Why don't..." "Against my better judgment, Honk." And a car pulls up in front of the mayor's house. "Skeeter from Duck." Oh, fucking outside world. Skeeter from Duck needs work also, man. The logic in the thought now. Sorry, it's just he's waiting for another one. Now, the beats are going to play a concert later in Overdale? I have a... I heard that, Tom. He chose the life of venturing.

Honk. We all just look at him weird. Speak of the truth there, brother. I mean, Honk, you know? Guy who honks horn. He also has words. Those are the new horns we installed on the carriages. It's a good system. He's inviting Thorol and Rodswell to come back to his office and talk more cum. Talk more calmly. 'Cause you two were the ones that approached him and tried to handle this like gentlemen. Thorol would scream, "Fuck!" Well, he wasn't great at it, but he tried. Now bite the piss out of him! Let me have a... We'll be back in a second. Let me have a word alone with Thorol.

And he goes... Thorol, do you feel comfortable going back there with him? He was pretty harsh with you earlier. He's pretty harsh with you also. I know. But Thorol, I mean, he seemed to have an unreasonable hate for Thorol earlier. I could probably kill him if he tried anything. Okay, yeah, we're cool. Just saying, Thorol being a vampire is kind of diametrically opposed to everything this guy stands for, right? And I didn't know if Thorol would walk into an office with two priests. You see what I'm saying? Oh, that's true, yeah. That's kind of my thing. But if he wants to come in, it's more than the wall.

I would feel safer if like Ironhide and Yynn were kind of stood outside. To the sides. You're gonna go outside with the guards? Okay. Not with the guards, but he's gonna go outside. Talk to some people. Meanwhile, Malkus is sitting on top of the banquet hall table. Just kind of sputtering, muttering different things. Malkus, you okay back there? He doesn't like guys with horns. Solid. You were there, Yynnward. I feel you, man. Solidarity. He's putting a fist in the air. Bro fist. Which is a bardic thing. We've established that as canon many episodes ago. It is. That's canon.

Um... Pull one out! You're Duncan. He was so young. Door shut. Sorry about my friend. I apologize. How would you... First of all, he grabs a knife. Start stabbing you on the couch. This is your face. It's uh... No, not my face! That's a intimidate check. He starts playing that game where you stab between your fingers just to intimidate you guys. But like he's making full eye contact with you? Like it doesn't mean anything to him? He's like, looking at what he's doing. He's licking his lips. He has an ornate looking letter opener. And he begins to open a stack of letters that he has sitting next to him on the unoccupied seat of the couch.

And he kind of is absentmindedly doing that while he asks you how you propose to settle this. Because you gentlemen haven't exactly worked on the honor system up until now. And you seem to be getting more violent from day to day. So how can I take your word that you can peacefully stay in this city? Are you... You're not shaking us down or anything, I'm assuming, correct? No, he's just asking how... How can I believe that you're not just going to go on a murdering spree later today? Lucky I'm not in there. It's lucky I'm not in there. We're all lucky the palace isn't in there.

Have we ever killed anyone when we either weren't provoked or weren't given the task by the town itself? When has this city ever contracted you to murder someone within the city? Never. Never. I'm asking if we've ever killed anyone, period, when we weren't either a... I mean, look at how we handled the little girl. We gave up... Pardon me. They. I wasn't even there. They gave up one of their own in order to save the life of an innocent. Do you really think that as a group, now especially, that I, a man of the cloth of joint, is going to suddenly become bloodthirsty and start killing innocents from out of nowhere?

This is the first time that Thoril has even been out during the day. Any sort of lives we've ever taken, none of it was in cold blood. We've been attacked, we've been provoked, and we've been hired. He picks up a second letter and starts opening that one. It troubles me greatly that every time someone new enters your group, they don't particularly fit the mold of a common citizen of Riverdale. Particularly the tiefling and minotaur. Not to mention the vampire. And he refuses to mention their names, by the way. Yennward, he doesn't really know his name, but he knows Thoril, he knows Malkus.

You've met before, he refuses to use their names. I understand that they may not look like everyone else, but once again, they've never caused harm to any innocents. I will put my own name on the line for Yennward. He has nothing but purity in him. In the time that I've traveled with him, he has never shown one ounce of evil or hatred. And the small amount of time that I've spent with the others, and trust me, if there's any one, and I look right at Thoril, and I say, if there's anyone considering the god that I worship, who should have strong feelings against what that man has become, it is me.

However, I'm sitting here on this couch, and I assure you, that he feels just as guilty about whatever he may have the urge to do as he possibly could. I don't think that you have to worry about anyone here. And I actually don't like the implication that just because of the way they look, or how they fit in, that they do not belong. Not to mention this wasn't exactly my decision to make anyway. And he made that decision at the expense of his own glory to save an innocent. They made the decision at the cost of my own glory to save an innocent. You may see it as cruel that I would have you sacrifice an innocent.

But I see vampirism as something with the potential to infect hundreds. Not just with the vampirism disease itself, but just with the constant urge to feed. Sort of an ideal of sacrifice a few to save many. That's how you feel. My question to you is, and just putting my personal feelings of Thoril aside, why wouldn't you at that point just destroy him? He puts down the second letter and picks up the third. As he goes to open it, he cuts his finger and he kind of recoils back. Tyler, I want you to roll a d20 plus five. Yeah. Get a one. Twenty three. What's your willpower?

Nineteen. Unable to stop himself, Tyler lunges, Thoril lunges across the room. Can I throw myself in front of him? No. Seriously, is there a role I can make to stop him? You would have to save and know that he was going to do something. I'll give you an opportunity for that, but I have to warn you that Thoril is incredibly fast. So I'll have you do a reflex check. No, this wouldn't, like, he's not going to bite, I'm not talking about biting me instead, I'm just talking about pushing him out of the way, getting him out of the room. We're just trying to save him, right?

Well, he's pretty much lunging fangs first. So he'll bite? Well, I mean, you'll try to tackle him is what you're trying to accomplish. Right. Basically, you're knocking me out of midair. My main question would be, what is the, what are the, I want to be very straight on this. What are the consequences if we screw up? I would say if you miss the reflex check, then you just don't get to him in time. Okay, that's all. Okay, good. That's what I would say. I wouldn't say, because this is all about heading him off at the pass. Right. So the mayor has cut himself. Thoril sees this, is unable, because it kind of caught him off guard, to stop himself, and he lunges at the mayor.

Sure. Any other check, I get a low one when I need a high one. This time I get a high one when I need a low one. So I don't get any, I don't get anything to add to it? Let's see here. What is, excuse me. Reflex 13. Okay, so you have a reflex at 13. So here's what we'll do. Roll a d20, and if the roll is less than 13, then you don't get to him in time. Okay. That sounds fair? That's fair. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Jason. Yes. So the roll be below 13 means he doesn't get to him in time. That means as his reflex score goes up, he gets less likely to succeed.

Oh, so it should be succeed? No, no, no. I'm saying that it, well you're right actually. I'm sorry, I did that backwards. If you're going to use it in that way, it makes more sense to make it. Yes, you're right. I'm sorry, I totally stated that backwards. That is my fault. Go ahead and roll again. I saved him already. Well, that was before. Well, Rob brought up a good point. I'm not, I mean, I don't want to... I don't know what roll can't stand. Jason, that one's all on you. Yeah, why can't the roll stand? That existed before. I'm saying the rule changed. It's not, you know, my hands are tied, Dan.

Either way, we're not taking care of this all peacefully. 17, great, yeah, that's the way that works. No, that's good. That's fine. So you tackle Thoril to the ground, and you... Thoril kind of gets a hold of himself a bit too late. The Father Carter recoils in horror and charges out of his office. And calls his guards. Okay, now at this point, can I roll to bring Earl Heppner in to say this never happened? No one's going to get that. Where is he? Where's Earl? So, he's at the doorway calling for his guards as we speak. I'll give you a split second to make a decision here on what you'd like to do.

I think it's time to go. I think it's good that we didn't leave our weapons at the door. Let's leave out this side entrance here. I think at this point the choice is fight or get out, right? Well, diplomacy seems to be out at this point. You had a shot at that. Well, defend yourself. Yes. Who's attacking you? That's why I'm saying I think it's time to leave. He's calling the guards in. And they are going to go the exact same way that we have to to exit. I would say that that's more his self-defense, not you. Yeah, Ironhide. What he's saying is that we have the choice right now.

We can leave or we can stay and fight. Oh, I thought he's calling guards in so therefore when we start moving out we'll just bump into them and say, "Excuse me, excuse me." Well, there are several ways out. It's just they're outside. Like if we wanted to hurl ourselves through windows. Like action heroes. You can totally do that. But the question is do we want to get out or do we want to fight? Alright, I think we should regroup back at the bar. I think we should get out, especially if we ever want to have a chance of possibly doing some good around here again.

Because if we fight right now, if we kill guards, the town, even the people are never going to be with us. Well, then maybe we should take this opportunity to talk to the people now. *laughter* Okay, let's look at it this way. We regroup back at the bar. There's three things we can do. Regroup back at the bar, well then they'll surround the place and probably set it on fire or just kill us where we are. I think you're thinking they're going to actively seek us out and kill us. I think him calling the guards is more in his own self-defense to make sure he doesn't die.

I think they're going to actively seek us out and kill us after this. You almost killed him! We can take him captive. Do they have muzzles? This is how situations spiral out of control. Okay, there are two ways this ends, alright? Way number one is Thoril in a courtroom wearing the Hannibal Lecter mask. And way number two is us heading for the Northlands and looking for this stuff and becoming men of the road, vagabonds. I want to point out, by the way, Winterhaven, they're not him. Jay's gone and he's a vampire. They'll never know that they were him. He's gone.

The way I look at this is, as in real life, being chased out of your friggin' house. You earned your spot there. We earned our spot here. We protected this town from people getting murdered, elves being poisoned by tainted water supplies. But we're also here because we were meant to protect the people and now they feel like we're no longer meant to protect the people. You just tried to murder him. Because somebody tried to jump him. What? It's just an innocent jumping? Well, no one said that the vampire should go inside there while he's just juggling a knife while not even paying attention.

That's pretty rude. I'm just heading for the side exit. We can tell our story walking. All that Thoril had to do after he jumped over and tried to bite him was just say, "Just playin', bro," and it would've been fine. But now it's too late for that. Alright, I guess we're gonna head out the side. We're gonna be telling our story walking. So, now what is the plan here? Put drunk Malchus on the table. Malchus is still hammered. And it's hard to just slowly plot it out the door. For some reason he was the first one out when he should be carried. My question is, are you leaving town just now?

We're going back to the barn. Or back to the bar, or where the fuck it is this week. Are we? What, you think we should just leave? Well, I mean, Malchus brought up a good point. You just tried to murder the mayor. Drunk Malchus, bring it up. I love how you're still dragging him and now you're dragging him through trees. Malchus, I'm sure, is thrown over your inward shoulder saying something about, "So this is what being luggage feels like." Okay, Jason. Alright, I'm talking to DM right now. Is there a place where people gather for meetings or something like that?

A town hall? Yeah, like a town hall or somewhere where people would gather to hear information about the world or happenings around the town. Like, big important things. Here's the problem with that. It's absolutely a town hall, but it's not like people hang out there unless there's a meeting called. Okay, is there a... Hold on. You calling a meeting... It's like William Morgan calling a meeting. It's really difficult. Like, you guys, half the town thinks you're basically murderers and just awful people. And then the other half is, they kind of look at you like a Batman type of figure.

It's like, "Yeah, he does the job no one else does." Like that kind of thing. "I like it." The problem being, you would have to have time to kind of call a meeting and stuff like that. The second thing, people gather in bars, and the Warren's is the city bar. And they're closed for repairs right now while they fix the horn holes in the wall and the blood soak everything. Which we gave them the money. Right, but they're still closed. Okay, two things also. We could easily go to the market and, like, just like, I imagine there's a grouping right there. There's also a Class 5 rainstorm outside, so...

No one's out in... Yeah. Here's the other thing. You're not just going to walk out of this house and the mayor forget that you tried to murder him. No, that's why we had to act now. I don't know how much time you think you have, but this is like, "Get them." Jesus Christ. Yeah, I know. I know. It's "Get them," but... I think what we're getting at is no amount of appealing to the people is going to create an impact fast enough to keep guards from putting pikes in us. Right. I mean, the people could be behind you all you want, but the mayor himself and his guards are going to be, like...

The people are going to be, "Hey, don't do that." It's not like from Spider-Man 2 where they're all jumping in front of Spider-Man to save him from Dr. Octopus. This is going to be... At this point right now, if we wanted to take over the town, appealing to the people isn't the way. The way we're going to take over this town right now is to kill every guard and kill the mayor. That's pretty much what we have to do. Essentially, what you're asking is, "Well, can't we have a general election before you..." If we duck out, if we get out of here and come back when the heat's cooled off, we might have a shot.

But right this second, we need to get out of town. Right this second, our two choices are "Leave" or "Fight and kill the mayor and all the guards." You've seen the movie "300 Tools"? It's like 300, right? Where it's just like... That scene with the vampire attack Leonidas? "Ah, shit, dude!" Five dudes versus an army, you know? Like, I... I just don't know if we're there yet. I'm going to say this. We can leave right now, and that'll be our one thing that we can do, is leave town. We won't have the support of the people, because the winners write history. And with him surviving right now, he is going to tell everybody that we attempt to kill him inside his own mansion.

If we stay here and fight, then we get the right history. Are you making this argument as Jarek, or are you making this argument as... Jarek! Okay, if Jarek's making this argument, Malkus is briefly lucid for long enough to say, "Jarek, common people don't understand people like us, people who do important things. No matter how good we are, they will always eventually hate us." That's why they take orders from us. Okay, so now this is taking a turn. See, you're not interested in general elections. General elections? That's what I came in here to do. What I was told is, "Get out of our town, freak.

We used you, now get out." If we kill the mayor, right now... Right now, all the... Anybody... Who's the third in charge? Well, I mean, that's... In a big city like this, I mean, it's pretty much... I mean, it's a superstitious people, so it's basically religious council is second, and then that's... I mean, there's no town guard. There is no third. Am I the second religious council, Afro? No. God, no. Basically, we'd be going through this vicious cycle over and over until we actually took over the place. Well, no, that's the thing. There was... We didn't find him every night.

It's not a flux anyway. It's mayor, then the religious council, then the captain of the guard. There is no captain of the guard, and the mayor died, so it's just religious council. So it's like anarchy if we kill him. I can't tell if you're saying that in a positive way or... I don't know. I honestly don't know at this point. This is a weird conversation to have on the side of a building while we're waiting for the... I just picture Ironhide inside. I imagine we're doing this as we're walking back to our bar. We're not going back to the bar. The bar's gonna be set on fire if we go back in the bar.

I imagine it as he yelled "guards" and this is a conversation you're all having with your eyes in a split second. Like, it's like, "I don't know." Okay, I was assuming we were having this conversation at a swift hustle as we decided which way to turn. Judging by like, "Man, I think we should stay back there. Oh, we're at our house. How'd this happen?" We can't go back to the bar. I am fully convinced that if we go back to that bar, we're cornered and gonna get burned. We're gonna get burned now. We're gonna get burned, boy. Right there throwing molotovs at us.

Yeah. There's no way we're going... If we're leaving right now, we're not gonna fight this crew. We're getting out of town. Period. We're done here. That's that. We don't have a home. We'll try to come back eventually, but... We will be a legendary enemy to them. That's what we would be. Five monsters. Odds are, they would have hired more town people... ...more town guard just to kill us and stab us real good when we come back. I would imagine the mayor would pitch it and say, "Remember when I cast out those freaks? You can't trust freaks." Mutants. We can always seek shelter.

If we're really worried about not having a home, we could seek shelter in Winterhaven. I know half of you are really jacked about the prospect of going back to Winterhaven. It's possible. I'm just saying, I think everyone's ruling that out. Because it sounds like the biggest complaint is that we wouldn't have a home, but we can make home. We've always made do. You guys are very... I mean, you're resourceful. So when bards tell this tale, they'll recall this day of us running, tails tucked between our legs. Hoping that no straight arrow hits us. The bottom line is, you have a split second here to make a decision, and that is, do you stand and fight, and the bottom line is, you would be ultimately fighting, not for self-defense, but to murder everyone.

Or do you leave town and not come back? Because he's given us the opportunity to leave. Oh, there's no... No, at this point he's actively chasing you. You guys are sprinting for... There's many options as far as leaving, but make no mistake, if he had his way at this point, it's like, "Okay, no, I was right the first time. You should all die." You tried to kill me. You tried to rip out his sword. You just actively tried to murder me. They're probably backwater enough that they are reflexively suspicious of people of irregular, not particularly human-looking species.

They're probably backwater enough that they don't have enough bards that we need to worry about this getting around. And Jerrick, I'm gonna tell you this. In my opinion, we're gonna be villains either way. Because either we leave and we're called cowards, or we stay and we're called monsters. Because if we, honestly, right now, if we kill this mayor and we kill every guard here, no matter what story we tell about how we saved them and how we freed them, we're gonna be looked at by the people as the villains. Well, I mean, that's... We're killing fathers.

We're killing brothers. Guards are people who lived in this town. We're killing, you know... The guards aren't enemies. The guards aren't bad. They never did anything evil. And we're gonna destroy them. And every one of them is gonna be connected to someone else in town who's gonna view us as someone who's evil and killed their blood. I like how you put this. Like, "Yes, yes, we could stay, kill the mayor, eat their entrails while they're still living like..." That's what we're gonna view. That's how they will see us. Okay, let me ask you this. Now, let's say we go back to the last town we were at, right?

We start up a new life, months later, after Will came. We have a barn, and we turn to... You guys gotta remember, you at least, Ironhide and Malchus, are regarded as heroes, and you guys are knighted there. And the father of Duncan Joybatoom would probably be well received there as well. And also, they won't recognize you. Yeah. He didn't get facial reconstruction surgery. He's still Thoril. It's just a vampire. Yeah, but I mean, it's not like he's gonna walk into town and be like, "That's the guy that we banished because of the whole Drake thing!" Okay, well, why wouldn't they naturally assume that you guys are traveling together when you were traveling together before, and he bears a striking resemblance to the guy, just different hair color?

We'll put him in a hood, a vampire hood, and then... Oh, that's not medicine. Good, good. Trust me and drag. Like, it's eating. You're a cage all of a sudden, you guys? Remember that cobalt? Yeah. Okay, let's say we actually go out and, like, go to that town. Odds are, word's gonna spread about how a group of people that kinda looked like us almost killed the mayor. But there's no positive way that this plays out if we stay. I see zero positive way for this to play out if we stay in this city. All I'm gonna say is that, again, half the town thinks that you're violent sociopathic monsters, and...

And fighting would definitely prove that. Well, you murdering the mayor and every guard that would be tasked to protect him probably wouldn't help your case. But then the other half of town probably views the mayor as... any mayor that would hinder you guys is obviously jealous or corrupt or something like that. They could probably... Some kind of bitch. So wait, basically, we're gonna incite civil war. This is getting so grandiose. It is, it really is. Under Justin's thing of history, you know, history's written by the winners kind of thing, is, I mean, you could paint any picture you want, and...

I mean, it all kinda comes down to, if it's something you want to do is violently take over this city, it's either that or leave. For good. Ever. The world is a big place. I am happy with that outcome. Not to mention, not to mention it's one of those things where if we take over this town it would be much harder to actually leave and continue on the quest with the book and everything else. Wouldn't that be fucked up if you kill him? And then he's like, "Okay, we're gonna go see what's in his book now!" Yeah. Alright, pizza in the fridge. We do. We stop worrying about questing to save other people and do good.

We just quest for treasure. We get a whole bunch of treasure together. Then we start our own kingdom where all of the misfit monsters who are actually heroes can live. And we just make our little island of misfit toys. That's the end game. And then they get bored with just being people and they start ripping each other's heads off. It's like, "Oh my god!" I think we got that, I think we made the decision. We're getting out of town. So you guys are sprinting for the town gates and leaving. I don't know! Well, Malchus is the hero, so Malchus is whatever Genward goes for at this point.

Yeah, you're with him at this point. Yeah. Not to mention how helpful Malchus is going to be in a fight right now. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yes, my moment of comic relief here is ending up having more story repercussions than I assumed it would. Well... Well, this got out of hand quickly. Well, okay. As I'm seeing this, Thrall and Rotwell are... we're definitely going. And, uh, Genward is pretty much just going with the flow. And then Malchus really doesn't have enough brain cells firing right now to have much of an opinion. Malchus has an opinion. Malchus just can't act on his opinion.

Ah. But his opinion would probably be violent. The way I look at it, the most they can actually fight... the most we can actually fight at one time is like two people. There's a small door right there where... But I don't think their... I don't think that their... I don't think their opinion of leaving was based on "Can we take them?" necessarily. That's part of it. Yeah. Okay, well... That was mostly because we have a man down. We have a man down and I don't know how many guards they have. Like, this isn't just fighting his guards. This is going to be fighting all the guards.

Well, I imagine it's all the guards that are right outside. And eventually... Within the sound of his voice, yes. Yeah. In this battle. But, I mean, if we do this, I imagine there's going to be other battles that come from this. We tried to raid this. All of us. He got inside Thoreau a little bit and he bit his dick. But besides that, you know... I mean, like with State... I think, you know, there's been plenty of things stated. Like, number one, we take over the town. Then what? Do we stay? Are we just, you know, I mean... Like, what happens with everything else once we take over the town?

Do we find somebody that we want to put in charge? How do we find somebody that we want to put in charge? Do we let them hold a general election? But who runs? There's going to be a lot of stuff that we're going to have to do if we stick around and do this. This is not a big town. This is, you know... It's a fairly large city. Well, okay. But we got other people we can rely on, like there's other people that we quest with before. Who? The mage? We get his names. Shavar. Shavar. People that are either just dead or become severe alcoholics. It's not a long list, yeah.

But we still have each other. That's if we leave. You guys gotta make a decision, the bottom line is. You could even split the party if you want. Justin could stay behind and fight. I would rather not split the party. You know what, if Justin isn't going to budge, then I'll stick behind him. I'm looking at... Oh my god, is this actually happening? I know, that's what I'm saying. But I'm not going to let him die. I'm looking at it less like people sitting down to play a game saying like, "Yeah, but how's this going to play out before?" I mean, like after this.

I'm looking at like there's injustice in this town. I'm looking at it through my character. So that's why I'm saying... But that's the thing, is that it's perceived injustice. It's perceived injustice. Where's the injustice? What is he doing wrong? What has he done? He's trying to kick us out, the only real protector. Because we just tried to murder him! Like the first couple words out of his mouth was, "Hello, hi, how are you?" and then, "Fuck you, vampire." But he let us walk in without getting killed when we had just had a murderous rampage in his town.

He said that, "Yenward bit the hands off several men. You painted them black and dropped them off in a sack." I didn't tell him to bite his hands off, he just did it on his own. Malchus is still dangling over Yenward's shoulder, except now he's just like slapping him in the side going, "Yah! Yah! For the hills! Yah!" Like I said, I think that for the good of the party, for the good of us, and I think for once we should think about the good of the party, and let's get out of here. But if you're going to stay and you want to fight and it means this much to you, I'll defend you.

But we need to think about us for once. We are one man down and he is a strong man. We have, you know, one of us is now turning bloodthirsty. We need to get out of here. And if we want to save ourselves, that's how I feel, that's what I feel we should do. I don't think we can do any good here. I think that the people have made up their minds. I think if we leave now, some will think of us as legends. It's not like everyone sees us leave. They get to say we left, but the ones that were already with us will still think of us as legends. And maybe someday we come back, maybe we don't.

Maybe we find somewhere else to go. Maybe we go after this book. But there's plenty that we can do that doesn't involve staying within four town walls. It's more of an oval, but it's fine. Fuck you, Ian. Shut up. If you want to leave as monsters and murderers and rapists, even though like yesterday- Whoa, whoa, rapists? We might have actually raped him. That's why he was bleeding. Somebody got him with his knife, huh? We raped his finger? That's what you were doing. You were going to rape him, right? This is sex, right? We're sexing you? Meanwhile, the guards are listening to this conversation being like, "Wait, you guys raped him too?" No, no, he didn't.

I like to think this conversation is spontaneously- The guards arrived like an hour ago and they're just standing here waiting for you guys to make a decision. He said we murdered a whole bunch of people yesterday in game stuff. Yesterday, we killed thugs and felons. Right, without the town's cooperation. You guys were renegades, mercenaries. You went and did that on your own. You didn't involve the town, you didn't come to the mayor and talk to him. He looks at you guys as a threat for two reasons. One, you appear to be a fucking group of violent sociopaths, being as how Thor almost murdered him.

And if- We're viewed upon as unstable vigilantes. And the second is, you could very- I mean, not only are you talking about a coup, but you guys are doing things outside of the town's knowledge at night in town. You know what I mean? Like you- like, anyone in a position of power would look at that as like, "Who the hell do these guys think they are?" Even if we got into power, I don't think people are gonna change- like, there's gonna be some people who just never change their opinion about us and then we're just in for a lot more crap. I need a final decision, guys.

What would you like to do? I'd like to leave. All this talk about democracy, Justin, why don't you let us vote? I think I already know what you guys vote. So Justin is going to choose to attack you all. Turn your flame blade. One at a time, I'm gonna rape you. Everybody get in line. Stand still, don't run. The trunk first. So I drop Malchus off my shoulder. You can fly for some reason? That's the fun thing too, is in order to fight, we'd have to prop him up in the corner or something. Yeah, we could put him back on the table. He was happy there before. Stay there, we'll be right back.

You won't get attacked. I'm saying, like, if we- I spoke my- what I wanted to do, I guess it's up to you guys to vote. I think I already know what you guys want to do. Alright, alright, we'll go around the table. We'll start with Justin. There is no table. The virtual one, we're saying. Shut up. Would you like to stay and fight or flee? Justin. If we flee, then we become the monsters that he says we are. I choose to fight. I'd rather die with my beliefs. Malchus is saying flee. Malchus is sleepy. Tom? Whatever, uh, fuck, what's his endgame name? I'm sorry. Malchus?

No, not Malchus. You, Dan. Rodswell. Yeah, whatever Rodswell says, I'm following him. That makes sense, I guess, dude. Who's next? Uh, Dan. Oh. Um, for the safety of the group, I have to say we should go. And Tyler? I understand what Justin's saying about, like, if we leave, then we're going to be viewed upon as monsters. But then again, killing the mayor and all the guards, like, that's only going, we will become what they say we are. We can at least leave with not only our bodies in one piece, but at least our dignity and the fact that some people could actually say, you know, like, we could still at least be decently highly regarded if we stay and fight, then we do become exactly everything that people have said.

I feel, yeah, I'm saying we go just because, like, not only do I feel like, especially with our healer, uh, down, essentially, He's not down. He's not the healer. Oh, you're the healer, okay. He's the guy that- Not because he's anything but a healer. He eats so much. Tyler changes his food. Well, no, I'm still saying that. Oh, we got a healer? Oh, fuck it then. We're good. Let's fight. Being one guy down, I just don't like that. And on top of just everything else that comes after it. Uh, so democracy wins, I guess. Well, Justin could always- It's up to you. Justin, do you want to stay or go?

I guess we can go then. Alright. Uh, you guys run out of the side entrance as about a dozen guards pour into the front door. Uh, because that's- Sorry it took us so long, Bob. We weren't throwing what they were talking about. Sean was tying his shoe, and uh, uh, so you sprint through town, and uh, you, you leave, uh, you leave through the front gates. Possibly for the last time. And uh, you start venturing down the road. You get to a certain point, uh, after, after running for minutes at a time. Uh, you, you, you kind of look behind you to see if anyone's following you.

And either they are much slower than you, or uh, they've just decided that they've gotten what they wanted and you've left. I do want to say something though. Uh, we were talking about the book in his company while he was right there. Didn't he like, look at us weird or something like that when we were talking about it? Like when- When you threatened him? No, before that. When we were actually just talking about like, we have this book and we can go do that thing about- Well the way it came up was Malcom's like, we have the book, you'll see, you'll- like it came off as more of a threat.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Uh, in the distance, you guys continue to walk for a while. Uh, in the distance you see, uh, smoke. Uh, it's, it's, it's pretty much never a good occurrence and it's coming from a patch of forest. Uh, I don't know what you guys would like to do. You want to keep walking? You want to investigate the smoke? You guys want to keep walking? How sober is Malcom? Yeah. Uh, it's, it's been a while. He's, he's more, he's, he's a lot less out of it at this point. Well, does anybody have like high nature? No. Not in this group. The guy you're used to doesn't anymore.

Um, my nature's plus seven. I did before I was a vampire, but- Go ahead and roll a nature check, Dan. Okay. I'll love it. Uh, it's still, uh, it's still very much raining. Uh, so for there to be, for there to be enough fire for you to see smoke in a distance like that, then something's up. About what time is it? Uh, it's, it's late afternoon by now. Like you guys, it took you a while. The stuff at the mayor really didn't take that long, but you've kind of been running for a while. I wouldn't, I personally wouldn't have stopped running until I was damn sure no one was following.

And you guys are on foot, not horseback, so. So, so base, I mean, Thorol's okay. We don't, we don't have to worry about that anytime soon. Uh, oh, oh, oh, the sunlight thing? Yeah. It's still raining anyway. It's pretty much- It's gonna get dark before it gets light again. Right. Like it's technically daytime when we start hauling ass, so. Does anybody else want to try a nature check real quick or? Imagine my nature is epic. I cut a plus one. I can just try for a better roll. Ooh, I got a plus two. I'm going to try a nature check. Nope. These trees are earthy. Uh, I got a seven.

Tell me. Seven. Like, crit. Wow, Malgus, uh, got a 22. It says something out loud. It's like, I smell. The trees are green. A 22 grants a lot more than, oh, the one, the critical miss. No. Um, yeah, obviously the, there, uh, there's no, there's no real wildfires. And now it's possible that, uh, lightning could have struck a tree or something, but, uh, this is coming from a patch of the woods where, uh, you know there to be a settlement. All right, then we should go check it out. Like, you know that someone's living out there. Okay, I think we should go check it out.

Uh, okay. Quick Malgus, what do you think? Um, well if we're going to do that hero thing that we seem to be so attached to later, we should probably investigate. No better way to start a new life than to be saving lives. You definitely sound hungover, Malgus. Are you all right? We're an oddball group, but I think if we save some lives on a fire, I think that already puts us in a good position if we're gonna do that. Sure, let's find karmic balance. I always have to push for the goods, so you know me. I think Rob's been imbibing the sudden comfort tonight.

Oh, it just means I'm roleplayed well I guess. Cool. Yes, that's right. My character's plastered, again. Every time we sit down now, that's the... Fuck you, I'm roleplayed. All right? A method. Uh, you... He's imbibing alcohol. You guys race to... You race into the woods. You leave the road and race into the woods. And after about 30 minutes of running, full force, you come across the clearing. And it's... Let me actually get the next map ready. So you come across this clearing. And in the center of it... You see a small figure. But the clearing's pretty shaded, and the low visibility of the weather, you can't really see what it is.

But it definitely stands out against the stark flatness of the clearing. What would you guys like to do? Anyone. Bro shit? I don't know. What do you guys want to do? Perception? More information, maybe? That's fine. You can make a perception roll. I want to do an arcane check. An arcana check? Arcana. Sure. Cause, odds are, whatever made this fire wasn't, you know, just matches or lightning. Eight ten. Okay. You are definitely picking up some source of dark magic. There are a couple of the nearby trees are on fire, and it looks like the fire gets worse further into the forest.

You guys are bordering on nearby swampland, where the forest almost cuts off and just goes into swampland? I have a passive perception of seventeen. Would that help at all? Sure, you can make a roll. It's up to you. I mean, it's passive seventeen. Right, right. But I mean, you know. Roll. Seventeen. Seventeen. Alright. So, the smoke again. The smoke and weather kind of making things poorly visible. But you think it's too small to be a grown person. Wait, don't we have night vision? Well, it's not really night time. It's just, I mean, it's just smoke and weather.

Picture pouring rain and then smoke on top of that. Flash it. But it looks like it could be a child. Oh, it's a little girl. A child on fire? No, the trees are on fire. I swear to God, if it turns out to be the same little girl we saved, I'm gonna be pissed. The silence is not helping at all. I'm waiting to see what you guys want to do. Approach. Today seems to be a day of debate. You guys want to run again? It looks like there might be excitement. Would insight help at all at this point or should we just move forward? Just move forward. You get all the insights and other checks you can do.

No! Anything else? If you guys want to place your characters right in this area, somewhere in here. Somewhere in here. Well, we're getting into a fight anyway. Who'd have thunk it? Jason, mechanically speaking, do you want Malkus sober, no penalties or anything on this side? I would say at this point it's been hours and the running around has kind of sobered you up a bit. Yeah, the cold rains. Yeah, cold rains. Yeah, I think you're fine. Just dehydrated. And angry. Well, you can open your mouth and refuel water-wise. There we go. That's something. Maybe a Gatorade.

There is a little girl that's lying down and before you can get too close... It's a trap! There's werewolves. Hey Tyler? I mean, Thoril? I mean Tyler? Yes. Put your cursor over it. Motherfucker. Kiss my... Oh, I better get initiative. I better get fucked. I better get initiative. This is getting the best initiative out of this. You're a vampire. Three objects become visible. They seem to kind of step into existence from nowhere. And what they look like is... picture dogs but... shadowy. Take it somehow. Almost like you spilled ink in water. But they clearly have the shape of dogs but they're dark and they almost look like they're trying to fade out of existence.

So gentlemen, if you would roll initiative... Damn it, 14. I wanted something high because someone's about to have a second asshole. I love the fact that our battle form is formed. Little Dipper. It's true. You do look... The ladle of truth. Now. The formantion. What am I supposed to add to this again? I'm still in there. I'm sorry. No, no, no. It's a D20+2 for you. Okay. Got a 7! Uh, you rolled a 10. Uh, Yin-Wuard rolled a 15. So are you gonna go kill that little girl? I don't know how you got a 7. I'm gonna kill the other things first. And then we'll see what's up with the girl.

She's out cold, so... Yeah. Odds are she's just in troubles again. And you got a 7. Alright. Now what do these wolves get? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I mean, you can roll. Huh? But... you can roll. Go ahead. If the mayor knew about everything with the Thoril issue, that means that the mayor could have been the one that planted the little girl there in the first place. And if that's true, then he might have been the one who kidnapped her and got her in trouble again. She's not getting herself in trouble because the mayor knew she was there. I feel like this is reaching serious conspiracy theory, country.

I'm just saying it's equals fuck for trying to say like, "You should have killed the little girl." Yeah, and he knew she was there. He knew she was there. My question would be, what would he have to gain by that? I don't know. Inwards with me. Maybe she knows something or someone related to her, someone close to her is... Like, I don't know. Someone that... Let's kill these hounds and then let's talk. What would happen if I used lightning and war on these guys in the pouring rain? Would I kill everybody? Including us? Do I have that power over you? I'm a classroom clown and that's it.

Game over. Everybody dies. I would say that would be a more apt question if you were fighting in, say, a swimming pool or a lake. But just rain? I don't know. Oh no, piranha! And bam, lightning and war and everybody dies. The end. Do you need like a damage bonus or something? I'd get supercharged. Let's see here. The first... The first hound... Is going to... Come at me, bro. The first hound kind of bends down and it looks like he's going to lunge. But instead of running at you, he teleports. Oh, that's... Clean over to Thoril. No. And then he howls. It's a close burst five.

So what he's going to do is basically attack each one of you and if it hits, you get a negative two penalty because of fear. So a negative two on all your defenses. So let's break out the old dice roller. Oh, okay. This is on... This is on Wail, right? Yeah. Good call. So I'm going to go right down the line here and hit Thoril first. 26. Okay. And then Rodswell. 14. Against Will? Against Will, no. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. You're a cleric. And then Malkus. 26. Yeah, I'm dead. And then Jarek. 13. Bam! No! Against Will. Against Will! Okay. That's how we do! And then Yenward. 27.

Alright, so. You guys, we're going to add a condition. Let's see here. Negative two. To AC. And we'll go all defenses. Oh, it's defenses? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's based on, like, yeah, you guys are just feared. And that's until his next turn. And then it's Malkus's turn. Okay. One, two, three, four, five. Flanking. Heck yes. Okay. So powers. It's Ironhide and Rodswell, I think, are the only ones who don't have it. Yeah, I'm going to go with Ironhide. I don't know. I don't know. I'll just go with it. Soul Eater. Okay. 19 versus AC. I believe, yep, that'll hit. Okay. D12 plus nine.

Oops, that's too many. There we go. Wow, that's minimum damage. So 10 damage and I get a bonus to my next attack roll. All right. And that's Malkus. Hey! Let's see. Shadowhound number three. Was I marked? You get a negative. No, you, oh, that's right. You didn't have it. Oh, was it Malkus? Malkus has it, yeah. Malkus got hit. Yeah, okay, cool. So, Shadowhound number three teleports right here. Yeah, I had that coming. Right behind Malkus. Coming along! He's being flanked by the two hounds there. And let's see, what is he going to use here? He's going to use Bite. Just good old meat and potatoes bite.

He's going to bite your meat and potatoes. 26. I think that'll do it. Plus you get a negative too. Yeah. Okay, so that's a 2d6 plus four. 11. Oh, that sobers you up real quick, doesn't it? Yenward, your turn. Okay, can I like, uh, walk through Jarek? No. Yes. Okay. Go walk around him, witch. And I'm going to cleave this wolf thing. Okay. Which is, oh, wait, shit. Alright. Plus 12. Um. Wow, critical miss. Crit miss. Yes. So, that sucks. Anything else, sir? I'm good. Thoril, your turn. I'm trying to see perhaps what their lowest numbers would be between like their AC fortitude reflex.

Well, I imagine the reflex is pretty high considering they can friggin teleport. It might be AC. So, I'm going to try their fortitude. So, I'm going to do Taste of Life. Oh, you're going to lunge and bite at him. Why not? Okay. That might actually be bad because they are tainted somehow. They're all shadows. I could, I could do something else then. I don't think you want to taste their life. Yeah. I could just do Vampire Slam. Just try it out, try out their reflex. I'm trying to figure this out. Somebody just pops some champagne. Oh. That is throwing ditches. I think Rob is drunk.

I think. Fuck that shit. I just hear like popping of a cork and then like champagne glasses. It's a celebration. God damn it. Like there's multiple, he just pours himself a line of champagne glasses. Alright, I'm going to try Vampire Slam for right this second. No, I'm going to try D20+8. And it's 12 versus Reflex. That will miss. Yeah, I figured. Anything else? You want to shift or anything? No, I think I'm just going to sit here. Oh, um, 14 wouldn't even do it, would it? No. I forgot about that plus two, but yeah. Yeah. Doesn't matter. Let's see here. Shit rolls.

Wow. Unique. I've been getting awful rolls today. The one high roll I've gotten was one where I needed something low. That is true. Well, I mean, this is your first fight of the day, really, so. I guess. Shadow Wolf number two is going to fade out of existence and then fade back into existence right next to Rod's Well. And he is going to bite. So, let's see here. 15 versus AC Rod's Well. No. Okay. And that will end his turn. Okay, well, I'm just going to stand right here. I'm positioned pretty well, I suppose. I'm going to go after number two with Blessings of Battle.

Okay. 23 versus AC. That will hit. Okay. 1d8 plus six. 13. 13 damage. Good. And, let me see here. Oh, wait. That's not until level 21. Okay. Moving on. Jerk. Your turn. I love how the fucking, the Shadow Hound just like fades back into existence only to just get stabbed by Rod's Well. I'm going to move one, no, no, no. Scratch that. One, two, three, four. Right here. And I'm going to stab him. No. I'm going to use Corrosive Rune. It's a, um, encounter, yes. Standard action, a close blast, so it hits. One, two, three. Okay, it only hits number three and one. If, like, I have an opportunity.

Well. Yeah. I think it has to be facing, like, that's, like, okay. Oh, oh, oh, I see, I see now, I see. Like, it's coming from you, so it'll be going out this way or out that way. I see what you're saying. Alright, yeah, I'm going to have it so it's, uh, you know, I'm just going to stab him. Okay. No need to muddy up the, uh, the gears here, just go ahead. I think it's about time for some Green Flame Blade. I'm going to swing it right at his mush. Thirty-one will hit. Imagine if he said Green Flame Blade, something like Married with Children, when Al Bundy walks to the door and everyone's like, Green Flame Blade, whoo!

When you hear the toilet flush. Yeah. That's Justin's toilet flush. Whoa! Ow! Eight. Yes, eight damage. Eight. Eight is great. Uh, you done? I'm also going to use, um, a Geass of Assault on number three. Alright, he is marked by you. Alright. Uh, Shatterhound number one is going to attack... Hmm. Meow. He's going to go ahead and bite Malchus. That's the plan anyway. Twenty-nine. Malchus? That'll hit. Okay. Uh, I'll respond with Infernal Wrath. I had a feeling. Yeah. It's what I do. Okay, he does sixteen damage to you. I deal him one damage. One damage in each round. That's pretty sweet.

That doesn't seem fair, but okay. Um, wow, sixteen damage. Now you're going to turn into a shadow monster and we're all just going to be a bowl of fruit and nuts. Um, Malchus, you are bloodied and it is your turn. Okay. You may not be in the best of positions. Yeah. Oh. We're going to do a little of this action. You are no longer... Yeah. Uh, you are no longer feared. Well, he's feared. He just doesn't have fear anymore. Well, yes, this is true. You are especially feared in, say, I don't know, Overdo. Poughkeepsie. Um... Dakota. Gotta keep rubbing that in, don't you, James?

Rubbing that with... I'm just rem... It's my job to remind you guys of things. Hey! I think you got it. Twenty-nine will do it. So... Goddamn. D12 plus nine. Twelve damage. And action point. Okay. Good. And, uh, into Blazing Doom of the Void. So I'll be at plus fifteen for this since I got my soul eater. Okay, he's bloodied. Uh, plus sixteen because I get a plus one versus Blade Foes. Goddamn. Do you even need to roll? If you miss, I swear to god. Let's see here. Hold on, hold on. Even when he crit misses, he still hits. Where is it? I think that's how it works. Blood Hunt.

Yeah, plus one attacks versus Blade Foes. Okay, cool. So plus sixteen, this will be versus... Fortitude. Okay. See a number in the thirties there. Thirty-one. Excellent. That'll hit. Okay. And that damage. Twenty-two. And then, you know, I bow. I bow because it was pretty good. And he's dead. He's dead. Temporary hit points. I gained some of them. Temporary hit points. I has them. I has. I has... All your points are belong to me. Soul Feast. My contract. He's gonna kill him and eat him right in the middle of battle. Three temporary hit points. And if anyone needs them, it's you.

Sturdy. You have all three of them. That was the on point. Alright. Shadow Wolf number three. Hmm. You just saw what's going on. Now he has to think for a second. Yeah, it's like, wow, that was, uh, okay, wait. He's gonna teleport right behind Malkus. And he is going to attack him using bite. That's too much. Plus eleven. Uh, twenty-five. That'll hit anything I have here. Okay. And eleven damage. Okay. If your vocation is healing, I raise my hand. I'm on it. I just have to wait. I got you. Just make your turn now. Justin, don't you get to attack? Yes. Stand up. Shoot. I'm not Raz.

Phelps, I'm not Raz. Twelve. Twelve will miss. Yeah, right. And, yinward. Okey-dokey, I'm going to go over to Shadow Wolf number two. Go around the other side. Okay. He's tankin'. Sort of flankin' him. Gotcha. Yeah, there you go. Take it. And I'm gonna. Now you get to add plus two. Okay, so I'm gonna cleave him. That's d20 plus twelve, so I guess that'd be d20 plus fourteen? Yes it would. Okay. Nineteen. That, wait, what is that for AC I imagine? That'll hit. Cool. Now you don't add two to the damage. Right. Making sure. Shoot. Fifteen's good? Fifteen's a solid meaty beefy hit.

You wanna do anything else? No, I have my turn there. Alright, cool cool. Okay. So, next up is Thoril. Thoril. Thoril. Can I ask you to delay? Yeah, I guess I can do that. 'Cause then, 'cause then it would be two's turn and then it would be my turn and then I can get out of your way and then you can jump in, you'll get combat advantage, I can heal, I can heal Malchus and we'll all be, we'll all be good. Sounds good. Okay, cool. I'll just be right here when you need me. Okay. Alright, Shadow Wolf is going to use Bite against Rodswell. Height. Twenty-three. Yep. Okay.

Nine damage. Okay. I accept this. It's my call. And Rodswell, your turn. Okay, I'll back it up, that's not going to give him opportunity or anything, is it? If you shift away, no. Okay, what is, what is, explain. If you back up one, one space, then you're fine. If you're trying to do anything other than that, you're going to have to roll to see if you break away. It's going to take you a second to turn. No, wait, I'm sorry, that's, that's hero clicks, I'm sorry. No, he'll just get an opportunity attack if you, if you just try and like saunter away, then yeah, he's going to get an opportunity attack.

Okay, but if I shift, it's okay? If you shift back one square, because that's like, yeah, taking a step back, like, but you got your eyes to him, anything else is like, goodbye, and you walk away and turn your back to him. So I've shifted away? Yes. Okay. And now he's going to heal. Okay. Um, uh, so that is, that gives Malchus, he's within five of me, um, he gets his savings, or, uh, healing surge plus one d6 additional hit points. Do I roll the one d6 or is that him? I believe that's you? I think you should roll it, Dan, you're the one, you're the one doing the healing.

Yeah, makes sense. Okay, two. Well, you suck, Dan, so, uh, But he still gets a surge. Yeah, you do. Yeah, it's still good. Um, so you're going to use a surge with two bonus, bam, you're back up to 22. Still bloodied. Yeah. You're exactly bloodied. Uh, anything else, Dan? Uh, I can't really do anything else, so. Is that a minor action? Um, what's that? Was that a minor action? It does not say minor action. It should be a minor action. Oh, it totally is a minor action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I could do something else, huh? You sure could. Okay. Um, let's see here, I'm going to stay back because Thoril can do more damage than I can.

Oh, I'm planning on fucking him up. Right, and since if you move one closer then I'll give you extra, you know, extra, thanks. So I am going to go ahead and I will just use a ranged basic attack. Oh, shit. So, probably won't hit, it's only d20 plus four, but hey, you know what, better than nothing, right? Uh, seven. Better than nothing. Um, yeah, totally did not hit. Okay, okay. Peace. Ironhide, your turn. No it's not, it's a little, this is where Thoril puts in, right? Thoril, yeah, because he, he delayed, can't he step back in whenever he wants to take his turn?

Well, now we're going back around to the beginning of the initiative, right? No. Oh, I thought we were rolling back around. Well, I mean, it's up to Thoril to step back in if he wants, he's going to take his new place in initiative, he doesn't get two places. So when he decides to step back in... Right, my mistake was I thought he, I thought Ironhide had the best initiative, so I thought we need to... Oh no, he has the worst. ...not to the beginning again, so... Yeah, no, he has the worst. Thoril, do you want to jump in now or do you want to wait for Ironhide?

Hey, jump in. Yeah, I'll go ahead and jump in now. Alrighty. Then I'll move right in front here, and I'll use my, uh, God, what the, I can't even remember what it's called now, I had a complete brain fart. Boner surprise. Holy shit, he looks like Boner Surprise. It's, it's pretty bad. Damn it, not a daily, a, um... Encounter? Yes, there we go, an encounter power. It's my new, uh, Feral Assault. Okay. D20 plus eight, then plus the two for the, uh, initiative. So this could be a big hit. This could be a very big hit, or it could be just a swing and a miss, and I'll just...

Alright. Eighteen, that'll miss. Shit. Heroic Effort. That'll hit. Alright. This is also cursed. See, one person got that, awesome. Alright, that gives me 2d12 plus eight. And that will give me 22 damage. Wow, nice. Nice, nice, nice. Boom. Okay. Uh, okay, he's bloody. Uh, anything else? I think that'll do it. Alright, Jarek, your turn. Cool. Um, just gonna swing at him with a, uh... Gonna try and cleave some bacon off his back with the, uh... Green Flame Blade. Whoooo! Ow! Well, there's no, like, I don't wanna use all my cool power, I wanna call it "dimensional rift." And then, like, a giant walks in and is like, "Goddamnit!" So, let's go, seventeen.

That'll miss. But, it's plus two because... That'll hit. Yeah! I'm very easily swayed. Um, yes, that'll hit. What, it's plus seven because of dimensional rift? Let's just find out. And damage? It's seven. Seven. Nothing to scoff at. Seven to seven, you know? Uh, anything else? No. Malchus! Bam. Kill him, bud. Um... It's a terrible habit. Easily amused. Is there any sort of crowd reaction we could make when you say "Malchus" in the way that you do? Let's watch the toilet. You. Oh, yeah. Malchus! And then maybe everyone's just like, "Woooo!" 'Cause it's sexy? I don't know. That's an appropriate reaction for Malchus.

Let's get that. Why not? Ow! Are you asking if Malchus is sexy, or if the one you say is sexy? Have you seen those horns? Little bit of both. I mean, look at Malchus, and then just the way Jason says it, it's... We heard Rob's sexy voice earlier in the Mailbag show? That was... What's up? This one goes out to Allison. Hey, Allison. I hope you're listening tonight, Allison. Uh, it's a pleasure having you in the audience. Sounds like you're, like, picking out a guitar or something at the... Right now, I'm gonna do it. I wrote a song for you, Allison. This one's called "Great Corn Blame." I just wanna let everyone know.

I got a +2 to attack. Um, I missed terribly, so I will... And Allison is ashamed of you. I got a +2 to attack, ladies. He's like picking three chords of an acoustic guitar. I can change, I can change, Allison. You know what? Tom sounds exactly like the dude that sits on a stool, and is just like, "This next song is called 'Great Corn Blame.'" Ladies. Brush their eyes. Yeah, yep. This is for a special someone out in the audience. All the ladies go nuts. He's so mysterious, he barely speaks. "Great Corn Blame." He can't even read his own lyrics. He just says things that are around the room. [laughter] Toaster of truth.

Um... Old desk lamp. [laughter] Okay, okay. No silliness. Uhhhh... Shadow Helm number three is going to use "Bites" on Malchus. I'm gonna use... Ah, I cleared it by mistake. That was dumb. Way to go, student. Twenty-two, I know. Twenty-two. Man, you were ruining me. Ruining me today. Skin all up there. Twelve points of damage. Alright, on the brink again. Awesome. I like how that just went completely unnoticed. What, Tom called me an asshole? No, I heard him. Uh, Yennward, your turn. Wait, I want to swing at him. Oh, oh, he's still marked. Okay, go ahead. You fucker. Nineteen will hit.

Whee! [screams] That was the damage. That just sounded like somebody screaming like "ow!" Yeah, that was aggressive. You fucking bit me! That sounded like Bugs Bunny's ass was on fire but didn't realize it. And eleven damage. Eleven. Suck that up, you cuck. Uh, Yennward, your turn. Okay, I'm gonna cleave, uh, number two. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine will hit. Holy Christ. Strength and order. That would be a D10 plus ten. Okay, uh, your weapon comes down on him. And you spear him through his back, clean through his chest. And again, it looks more like someone spilled ink or food coloring into the water.

And he just almost evaporates. So he is dead. You hate that shit, Malick. Thor will make sure to flip him the bird as he disintegrates. When you said you spear him through with your weapon and you didn't define what it was, I was waiting for Tom to be like, "Um, I'm wielding a club." No, he's carrying a spear. I said speared him through, I mean, I... You spear him with your, uh, spear. Like, that sounded dumb. I didn't wanna... Rodswell. Oh, did you wanna move or anything? Uh, no, I'm good. Okay, Rodswell. Um, are these creatures undead? Uh, no. What are they considered?

Uh, let me see actually exactly what they're considered. I thought it said, like, shadow hounds or something. Yeah, I mean, they're more... They're more magic than anything, just almost completely magic-based. It's... You're gonna find out what they are. I don't really wanna... Okay, it's magic. It's not... Basically, yes. They're not undead. Yeah, they're not undead. That's the best I could tell. Like, you're looking for the radiant damage thing, I'm guessing? Well, no, one of my things is that it can be used on one undead creature. Yes, not undead. Best I could tell you.

Okay, um... Then I will use Sunburst on number three here. Goodbye to the world. What? What'd you say? Nothing. Oh, okay. Um, it is a d20 plus 12. Eh, 14. That'll miss. Okay, uh, shift out. Didn't you move there? Yeah, so that was a... Yeah. But, um, no, I want to, uh... So I think he's going down here. I will use Healing Word again. Um, on my boy Malkus. I got you back. I believe you get two of those each encounter? Yes, this will be my second one. That's your second one. So go ahead and roll a d6. d6. Roll six. Nice. P. Wait, hold on. Use Healing Surge. Six. Bam, you're up to 27.

You're no longer bloodied. Love it. Uh, Thoril, your turn. Okay, well, uh, gee, I wonder what I should do. Let's see, move up here. Try not to get in the way. Four. Wait. One, two, three, four, five, six. There we go. Now what? Aha. So he's flanked. Or he's flanked. Yeah, he's flanked every which way, so... How's it going, Ynward? Here we go. Ahh. I'm trying to figure out what I should probably do. Stab him. I figure I probably shouldn't try to do a shadow attack against a shadow creature. Fire with fire. Might add shadow on him. Probably wouldn't matter. Alright, um, well, I'll just do Vampire Slam against him.

So, 30 versus reflex. Oh, that's a crit hit. Crit hit! That's 18 damage. 18 damage. Suck it, two. Bam! Just slammed his ass against the ground. Nice. He is bloodied. Jarek, your turn. Oh shit, really? Yes. Green flame blade. Now... Woo! I'm gonna use lightning and lore him. He's standing next to you. I know, I'm gonna lore him with my lightning. It's raining. Someone just moan? It's a ranged attack. I attempt to do the Michael Jackson, like, squeal. Yeah, you're right. You're fucking right, Jason. Alright, then I'll use green flame blade because that's what he wants. You have like 30 attacks, I'm just throwing it out there.

Just... Free burn. It's 25. One, five will hit. Free burn. Free burn. What is that, a six? Let's go with that. Ten damage. Ten damage? He is stabbed. Next up is Malkus. Uh... Soul Eater. Sounds good. Ooh. Who did that? That's rude. Thirty-one will hit. So Malkus is the heel, that's what's going on here? My dad had a soul. No, I think people are just throwing fire at a Soul Eater. What are you gonna say? Not like green flame blade. Timeless. Seventeen damage. Seventeen will kill him. Oh my god, we murdered him. That kills you, Allison. Boom! Allison. Ladies. You guys are out of combat.

Woo! We still got that little girl, yeah. She's gotta kill her. I'll put my sword in your hole. Immediately we're jumping to killing her. Isn't this what you wanted us to do? Oh, I moved Malkus. Sorry, Malkus. Okay. Thomas mounted her. I'm biting off her hands. I love you. Guys, this is a cannon. Stop. This is a cannon. He immediately starts choking. Wow, he hates little girls. I don't know. What's going on? Inward, off, inward. This is the same little girl that you guys rescued, not far from here, deep in the swamplands. She's covered in blood. It looks like just tons of tiny cuts all over.

Should we roll to make sure that the vampire doesn't jump on her? I'm gonna say no. I'm already not in a good mood as it is. I have a +12 heal. It's not, I mean, yeah, you could roll to heal her, that's fine. But yeah, she's out cold. She does show signs of life though. She's not... Oh, good, good. Yeah, she's not dead, but I mean, she's in a bad way. 24 heal. You can heal some of the cuts and bruises on her, but she's not waking up. So what you're saying is she's stable? She's stable. She's not dying, but it doesn't appear as though... It's life threatening.

No, it's absolutely life threatening. Oh, okay. But it's not, the cuts and bruises weren't a result of why she's unconscious. So basically what you're saying is even if we couldn't have gotten her conscious. Right, that's what I'm saying. Now I've healed her cuts and bruises, so Mr. Vampire here is not gonna want to ever eat her. You do know that her village isn't too far from here. It's actually only five or ten minutes walk. In fact, you know the mayor there. And... Do we? No. Well, I believe my son not only returned her to her parents, but also gave them a significant amount of money.

So perhaps taking her back to her village, we might have... It might be a good thing to do at this point. I think they'd be receptive to us. Yeah. Yeah, the other option is to leave the little girl in the little woods. Fight the shadow hounds and then leave her here. Alright, well, she'll fend for herself I guess. Good luck. So you are carrying... Who is carrying? Yenward is, of course. Yenward is the default. Yeah, you are the default carrier. Because it's nothing to him. Well, okay. Let's look at it this way. What if she wakes up? She's not gonna wake up. She's gonna be on the shoulders of a bull.

Yeah. So you are carrying... Yenward is carrying this little girl back to her village. And in the distance, you see torches. And it's a group of villagers heading in your direction. Oh, right. And they see this minotaur holding this little girl. Oh, god damn it. I knew it. Still covered in blood. But the rain is washing away some of that. But her clothes are very much stained with blood. And standing next to a tiefling and a vampire. Could we wave in their... It's very much gonna turn... Can we wave in their direction to say, "Hey, over here." Not like a menacing, like, "Come over, I want to get you." Why don't I approach them?

I'm gonna turn this into a sitcom where it's just a series of misunderstandings. It just leads to death. They can see you're not dragging her. It's not a situation where you're carrying her with some care. It's not, "And let me just grab her arm and drag her down the back." Not on your shoulders, but in your arms. I would imagine. We're not carrying her around like we did in the... Okay, it's just a little while back. With more care than a drunk. Wait. I think I would be the friendliest face they could see at this point. The white face? Maybe I should approach.

Did everyone okay with that? Go for it. Okay. You're in charge of your own life. I don't want them running, you know. So I approach the villagers and I tell them, "There's no reason to be afraid." These gentlemen have actually saved your daughter in the past and have apparently done so again. Not your daughter, but saved Bri. I'm assuming that's who you're looking for, right Bri? Is that correct? You granted this. You are charmingly befuddled when you say that. So what happens is the group is standing there listening to you and a man pushes past the majority of you.

From the back. And Malkus and everyone basically but. Yenward and Rodswell recognizes him as Martin. That's her father. So he rushes past and runs straight up to Yenward. No fear or anything about it. Just kind of grabbing for his daughter. He invites you guys. He thanks you profusely for finding her. He has a ton of questions but he wants to get back to the village first. So he escorts you and everyone else back to the village. Let me... So this Martin guy, fantastic parenting skills. She seems like somebody that would actually somehow get away and go on her own little adventure or what not.

Let's find out. Yeah, there's a little more to it than that. I mean there's Shadowhounds for Christs sake. So you guys are in his house while they're... It's a very small town. Basically they hunt and fish and kind of survive off the land. There's only a few families that really live there. Which house are we looking at? It doesn't matter right now. Top left, that's where I'm at. All I know is there's a nice big open field that is perfect for fighting. Well when you have a lot of space there's no need to build your houses close together. It's perfectly reasonable, Tyler.

There's no reason to be suspicious. Well... Sure. So while she's resting in bed, she's still uncomfortable. You can see her eyes. Just a lot of rapid eye movement as if she's dreaming. And Martin explains to you that Bree's been having terrible nightmares ever since she got back from the swamps. It started out as something that would happen once a week, something like that, and now it's gotten to the point where not only is it just about every night, but the thing she's explaining when she wakes up is just horrifying. Hope she doesn't wake up right now with the minotaur.

I think I'm a little too big to fit in these small houses. You're looking through the window. She's describing monsters and just visions of horrible things happening to loved ones. There's also a large figure that seems to be chasing her in every dream. She keeps talking about a large man that chases her. They seem to be getting worse by the day. Then last night while she slept, the village was attacked by shadowy figures. They set fires and ransacked some buildings, and the confusion breed disappeared into the woods. They had formed a search party and was looking for her when they happened upon you and the group and you had already found her and was bringing her back.

Would you guys like to do anything? Can we investigate? Sure. You want a little check of some kind? So this all started when she started dreaming, right? When you guys got back from the swamps with her, she would just have random nightmares and things. I mean, kids have nightmares, so it's not... But every night... Yeah, it's every night. They seem to be being attacked by things that she was describing in her dreams. I rolled a 23 religion check. I want to know about the town's religious background. It's a very small town. People kind of keep their religion to themselves.

But I rolled a 23, so tell me what he is. Devout Catholic. He's raising Satan. I wish him the dark arts. Hail Satan, but I mean... Is he religious or is he not? Yeah, I mean, everyone... It's kind of uncommon to find someone who doesn't believe in some sort of deity. Being as it's a world of magic and... I mean, it's kind of tough to not... You know, when someone says, "I believe in the sun god. Here's some fucking sun!" And they give you sun, it's kind of hard not to believe. It's like, "What? Sun god?" Finger god. He gave me... I have ten fingers. I am very religious with the finger god.

Polytheist, so you got ten gods. Can I do arcane check on like... Arcana check? Arcana. Absolutely. What's your arcana... What is it? Well, I don't know. Let's fucking check. It's funny if it was hand gods instead of finger gods, then the whole hand thing turned out to just be like a religious attack. Well, we gave those hand... G-Haw. Uh, 25. Alright. You recognize this. This isn't something... This isn't a naturally occurring thing. This is the result of dark magic. And... This isn't something that happens by accident or this is something someone's doing to her.

And these dreams are only going to get worse until she literally is scared to death. I think we should start questioning other people inside the town. It either had to be somebody very close to her or the shaman that we met before. Not shaman, but witch doctor. I'm assuming it's the witch doctor. The witch, yeah. The witch. She's the doctor that helped witches. Is there... Okay, so it's not going to stop until she is dead. Well, there is something you can do for her and that's the second part of what he knows. And there is a ritual you can perform that will draw...

It'll do two things and it's kind of a good news bad news. But we need the blood of an innocent witch doctor. No, no, no, nothing like that. You will draw... The point of this is what she is dreaming is trying to fight its way into this world, basically. What you're doing is you're giving it what it wants. You're drawing it, at least in some form, into this world. But if you were to bring it into this world, it's corporeal. You can kill it. It's a problem you can handle. And then it won't be around to hurt her anymore. We're going to do an exorcism, you guys!

Let's heal up. How about that? [Laughter] Yeah, you guys heal up. Yeah, can we take a night to sleep? Um, you can. But she is not conscious and is continuing to dream. Yeah, let's just do a fucking healing surge or two and then deal with this problem rather than saying, "Oh, we waited a night. Yeah, she's dead." Okay. Malchus will burn two healing surges, get back up to speed. So, what is it you guys decided you'd like to do here? Um, we want to do the exorcism and get the thing. Alrighty. So, Jarek kind of asks for silence and he walks over to where Bree's laying in the bed and kind of kneels down next to her.

Should we go outside? It's up to you. What would you guys like to do? I mean, I don't want the monster in the house, right? Like, that's... You guys can if you want. Well, it's kind of unpredictable as to what's going to happen. It's not true. Let's do the whole activity outside the house so we don't destroy their house. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm saying. I don't know why, but the wrestling nerd in me just wants me to imagine that Jarek just kind of puts his hand up and Damien Sanders went, "Silence!" I shall remove the demon from this girl. That's bad, sir.

So, you carry her from the bed outside and place her where? Underneath the tree would be nice. Stop the rain from hitting her. Again, it's still raining. On that fire pit. In the fire. Excellent. I don't think there will be a fire lit, though, so... Yeah, underneath the tree right outside where we're standing here. Alright. So that's the... It's still soaking wet, but that's the driest spot you can find. Ironhide kind of kneels down next to her and it goes really silent, almost uncomfortably long. And you're kind of waiting. And then the immediate sky around you guys starts to get dark.

And right in the center here... Let me just grab this... Right, I should probably be part of the group over here. Oh! Yeah. This creature kind of materializes. Right in the center. Well done. And it looks like something out of a kid's nightmare. So, I want you gentlemen to roll initiative. It's actually called Bree's Nightmare. I yell for the father to take Warren, to take her back in to the bed. Get her out of the way. She's gone. Okay. Do you want to do the d20 again? Yours is plus two. Excuse me. Where do you find that, Warren? Sure! Like, if you go to your character sheet...

Right. And... Details, right on your strength. Details, it should be right up on the top. Initiative, it'll say. So two, that's plus two to your point. Initiation. Yeah. Deets. What are your deets? Digits. Wow. Tom got a 12. That's where I go. You're not having a great dice night, Tom. Nope. Whatever else, roll. I think I got a 12. 22. Yep. Tyler rolled a 25. Okay. 16. Alright. Tyler rolled a 25. Breeze Nightmare rolls initiative of 42. We don't know that yet. What did you say you got there? Sorry. Name? 16. Okay. Yeah, I didn't say a name. What did you say you got again? You four?

You four. Oh, shit. And... Justin, what did you get? 12. 12? Okay. Alright. I'm tied with somebody else for last. And Breeze Nightmare rolls 30. You're first. Hey, after him, we're first. It's positive. At least he comes to us and we don't have to come to him. Exactly. We're fucking lazy. Of course, I'm the one sticking out like a sore thumb, so... You're playing a rock. This thing looks like it doesn't really care about rocks much. There's a fire right in front of us. He won't tread that. He won't tread on it. I'm in a tree. The back of that tree is completely broken.

You humbled it. Okay. So, the thing is just kind of standing in this clearing in the middle of this tiny town, and it looks almost bewildered. It's kind of stomping around, and then it notices you. And instantly, it surges to attack you. Let's see here. One, two, three, four, five, six... Okay. The wings on him... Now, let me see if I can paint a picture of him. Picture a giant mutant bull creature with bright red skin, and just tusks and horns everywhere. So, yin word mixed with malkus? With wings. With large bat wings. Okay. And what he does is, his wings beat once, and he takes flight a couple of feet off the ground, and then charges Jerick.

Schnarf. Good luck. And then he's going to use his greatsword attack. He tells us that's a brief nightmare. Hey, good luck, man. Let's just all have fun out there. Let's have a good, clean fight. Thirty. Yep. That is what it is. He does seven damage to you, really. Wasn't a great hit. Thirty-nine health left. Let's see here... Go ahead, Thoril. Alright, let's see. One, two, three, four. Come around these rocks here. Oh, Jesus, what the hell should I do? You know what? Being as big as he is, I should probably go against his reflex. Yes, AC is probably going to be maxed out.

Dog. Or his will, I'm not sure. Can we attack individual things? Can we attack his wings, or is that... It all just counts as him. So after he's bloodied, I imagine there might be holes in his wings or something. I mean, it's all cosmetic for the most part. So you know, in the past there were some... Yes, yes. Is this considered a combat advantage? No, because technically you're not quite flanking him. You'd have to stand in that fire. Ah. Okay. That's cool. So I'm going to try to slam him. Okay. To the best of my ability. Good luck. Thirteen versus reflex. Good lord.

And you grapple him in a bear hug. And then you just kind of both stand there for a moment, and nothing happens. Ratswell, your turn. Okay. Now that is combat advantage, right? Uh, yes. Okay. I will use... Lesser Aspect of something. I can't read it. Oh, it's too big. It is a daily. Oh. Oh no. So there's one, there's D20 plus 12 versus Will. Okay. Does he do like fire damage or what? He does have fire damage, yes. Okay. Let's roll. Twenty-four versus Will. Versus Will, that'll hit. Okay. One D8 plus six. And it's ten. Okay. Um, okay. Uh, also I get ten temporary hit points until the end of the encounter.

Um, I also get plus one power bonus to my attack rolls. And any enemy that ends its turn adjacent to me takes radiant damage equal to my constitution modifier. Wow, okay. Nice. So, um, my constitution modifier is two, but still. So anytime he hits his turn adjacent to me, he gets two damage. Alright. Cool. Okay, Malkus. Do it. Alright. I think it's hurt. Let's see. Uh, that's versus four to two. That's not so great. Um, oh, but bonus armor class always kind of nice. Uh, creature in burst. Okay. So I have to get this in a non-flanking or non-optimal position. But, uh, I set up there and I use armor of winter's grasp.

Uh, so that's my daily. Uh, D20 plus nine versus fortitude. Uh, ten. Oh, crit miss. Uh, miss is half damage. Okay. So, two D6. Oops. Clear. Two D6 plus nine. Uh, so seven. Seven cold damage. Alrighty. And I have a plus two power bonus to armor class and fortitude defense until the end of the encounter. Alright. And that's all for me. Jarek. Uh, I'm gonna use, uh, dimensional thunder. Wait, did we skip broadswell? I mean, it's uniward? Nope. He's next. He is the same number as me, which means he's last. Um, dimensional thunder. I'm gonna hit somebody really hard with my, with my face.

It doesn't, like, like all the stuff doesn't really apply to it because, like, I also teleport a number of squares to whatever my constitutional modifier is, which is one, so. That's the crap moving with his face. Ah. He just starts headbutting them. You're bloody with the blood of me. Alright, uh, plus 23 hit. 23 hit. I'm so happy. Wait, what are you attacking, AC? Yeah. That'll hit. Good. Fucking hell. Two Ds? Oh, you gotta recruit me. Damn, it does 11 damage. Okay, 11 damage. Also, um, each enemy adjacent to me, it says you, but it's me, gains ongoing, uh, 5 thunder damage, and I guess the saving ends.

They got to have a saving throw in order to end that. Okay. You understand? Sure. Uh, you done? And I'm also gonna use Fear No Element, which is a minor action, choose acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder until the end of the encounter, you gain resistance, uh, 5 plus your constitutional modifier, which is 6, uh, of that damage type. Like, it's, um, takes like 6 off. And what are you choosing? Fire. I shouldn't have told you what he did. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, you fucked up. I did. That will not happen a second time. Uh, I'm gonna use my action point. Jesus Christ.

I'm gonna use my action point, 'cause I'm gonna do like maybe 7 damage to him the entire time, so, I'm puss. Uh, and I'm gonna use Whirling Blade, I'm gonna throw my blade at him. Okay. And, and 26. That'll hit. It's AC, of course. I think it's a 2. Oh, that's a ranged attack. But it's gonna come back around and get him. No. No? That's a ranged attack. Fine, that didn't, like, whatever. What else can I do? Green Flame Blade. There you go. How about that? Ooh! That's 24, that hits. 24 will hit. Man, what the hell is with these dice rolls? They're pretty good, they're loaded, that's why.

I shouldn't have told you that, but they are. Uh, 7 damage. 7 damage, okay. Now I know you're done. Yeah! Wait, wait. Gears of Assault, or whatever. Vegetas of Assault. Uh, Yianward. Okie doke, I'm gonna Saunter on over to him, right there. Hi Mr. Breeze Nightmare Person guy. I'm gonna use Brute Strike, which is D20 plus 12, versus AC. 21? Uh, that'll miss. Fuck. Wait, is that combat advantage though? No, because you'd have to be standing on that, uh... Wait, for Yianward? Yeah. As long as it's side to side or corner to corner, it's legit. Oh, so just the fact that he's surrounded would be combat advantage?

Yianward has flanking with Thoril. Right here. Okay. I would figure it'd have to be a straight line across. It does have to be straight, it just, as long as they are on opposite sides or opposite corners. Well then that'll hit? Yes, okay. And that is 3 D10s plus 7? Holy shit, 3 D10s? Oh yeah, Brute Strike, yeah. Oh my god. He's fucking Minotaur. He's meant to kill things when he's axed. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. He's gonna hit us so hard. 26, very nice. Jeez. That's really fucking good. Okay. Nice hit, nice nice. That was a good, uh... Are you done? Yeah, I'm done. Uh, Breeze Nightmare?

Think I can... Uh, he becomes invisible. Oh no. Oh Jesus. I can detect him though. And he reappears behind Thoril. He's behind you. Oh, I'm sorry, he's still invisible, but he is behind Thoril. That's for your benefit. That's because this next part... I guess when I can see people that are invisible. It wouldn't matter because Thoril can't, and... I would say, look out behind you so it looks dramatic. Okay, it's too late. He's already bending me over the rocks. No! Uh, he's gonna take a swing with his greatsword. Not like this. 14. Critical miss. God. He fucked. And he gets 2 damage.

Actually 7, because he gets the thunder damage too or whatever from Jerix. Wait, wait, wait. Why does he take damage beyond the thunder damage? Because I have him where... Oh wait, he's not adjacent to me. No, he's not. Then why are you adjacent to him? Well, that's why I moved. God damn it, Dan. But he does take 4. I turn invisible, and I reappear. I can say it too. I know he takes 6 thunder. Uh, Thoril, your turn. Thunder, thunder. Alright, everyone else has been doing some beef shit, so I'm gonna try some beef shit. I'm gonna use my encounter power on him now.

Encounter him. So, Feral Assault. God, I hope I hit this, because I'm gonna go for some serious fucking damage here. Alright, this is versus Reflex. 28. Critical hit! [Laughter] Holy shit! You have no idea what I was gonna do! Okay, that's 2d12 plus 8. That's 32 damage. I lose a healing surge to do 2d8 extra damage. Wow. Shit. Well, wait, the 2d8 is added on top of... Okay. I'll still roll it. I don't give a shit. And don't you get a... In your weapon enchanted, if you get a crit, you get to roll like a 1d6? Do I? I could've swore. If your weapon is any kind of magical, you do have some sort of crit die.

Uh... Oh, wow. Huh? See that, because I never... I think that's just like a rule in the game. It'll be in your powers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look up your powers, and all the way down to the bottom, where there's all this different colored black stuff. Uh... Deathstalker weapon. Uh... 1d6, that's on a critical. 1d6 and necrotic damage per plus power, so that's 1. Alright. So 1d6... Alright, so first we have the 24 plus 8, so we got 32. Wow. Uh, the 1d6, that's a 2, so we're at 34. I use my special as part of the Pharaoh assault. I lose a healing surge to do 2d8 extra damage.

Shit. And that is to be 12, so we're at... 46. And then I'm gonna use Blood Drinker to do another d10. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let the judges check to see if this is legit, because this is getting into... I'm using all my moves. Yeah, it's getting into redonkulous damage. Well, I can't do that with the melee at... That's a melee at will, never mind. I can't do it. Yeah, that's what I thought. He just screams really loud and just starts killing him hard. It's a leaner. But, yeah, 46 damage. 46 damage. Is he dead yet? He's bloody. I know. So, you just start ripping at him.

You're gonna hear a lot of clicking, hold on. He's gotta do 46. We had to do at least 100 damage to him already. So, he is very much bloodied. And he becomes invisible as a result. I hurt his feelings. He can't help disappear now. After the embarrassment he just suffered of getting claws just stuck in his mouth. Well, he swung at you, missed, and you just start gashing the hell out of him. So, that's, yeah, that was a damn good hit. That's Shades of the Old Thoril right there. Shades of the Stalker. He makes eye contact with Malkus. Uh oh. Sup? And in your head you hear him ask the question, "What do you fear?" In a low rumble.

Spiders. And 100 spiders. No. Commitment. Do I have to answer him? I love how Yenn-Wert kind of overhears it and just says something of his own. It's more of a rhetorical question. Oh. Next to this nightmare you see this inkish shadow start swirling. Uh oh. More dogs. I hope something else. Clear your minds. Don't think of anything. It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow. I've seen Ghostbusters. This doesn't end well. Uh, let's see here. I know who it is. Stay Puft Man. Yes! So, if you're a god you say yes. What appears next to him is a stout figure just completely encrusted with shadows.

Constantly his edges blur and ripple. But you very clearly make out that it is a dwarf. Oh shit. Ha! I just hovered over him. Oh my gosh. Oh lord. I think he bears a striking resemblance to your former teammate. Kill it with fire! That's you. Let me just add him to the initiative here. Rod Swell just starts walking away like I can't do this. Can everyone see him? Yes, everyone can see him. I think he just grabbed it from your mind and put him in, like there was an incantation of him or something. Okay. Whatever. I'm next. I will do this. Uh, you are indeed, uh, you're next.

Yeah. Um, I feel like this fits with what just happened. Um, I'm going to be using Dark Speech against Breeze Nightmare. Okay. Um, now we had this before, uh, looking at it. Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma versus Fortitude Reflex and Will. I make a single attack roll and use it against each defense. Um, so I'm trying to think what would be best. And I'm looking. It's Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma. Uh. Well your Wisdom is going to be best, right? Yeah, my Wisdom is plus five. Yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah, your Wisdom is definitely your highest attribute. Like you should be using the same stat every time because that's not going to change.

So do I roll or do I, is it 21? Oh no, you roll, you make a roll using the modifier plus half your level. Yeah. Okay, so 20, d20 plus seven basically? Yeah. Okay. So, to 23. So 23 against Fortitude. Uh, that'll hit. Okay, target falls. 23 against Reflex. Uh, that'll hit. He grants combat advantage to everybody until the end of my next turn. And, uh, 23 against Will. That'll hit. I push him up to his speed. Uh, backwards? Yes. Rain to a fucking ruh. So he'll fly backwards into this large boulder. Yes. And he'll take five damage as a result of that. Doesn't that seem like what he would have done in that situation?

Dude just throws his son in front of him. It's dead son. So now he gets super pissed off and pushes him down and... Hey, uh, yes? I went ahead and run over Dark Speech real quick. Um, you, it'll be a Wisdom modifier plus half your level, but it also says implement. So you do get the plus one from your holy symbol for the attack roll. Oh, okay. Gotcha. So in the future, just remember, it's like you're using your holy symbol as well. Right. So it doesn't plus eight. So, yeah. Cool. Uh, Malchus. Okay. Um, let me pull him back up there. There we go. Um, well, snap. Um, that's, that's an awfully mean thing for that nightmare gentleman to do to me.

Uh, I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm happy about it. Uh, so I'm gonna go over and express myself. Uh, let's, let's take care of, uh, let's use Soul Eater. That's, that's how we open up and then we go from there. 21 versus AC. That'll miss. Ah, this guy. Yeah, that's all I can do right now. Uh, so I'm, I'm standing in front of him at his mercy. Basically, I'm about to get destroyed. Wait, would that wait? 21? Would 22 have hit? Uh, it would. He got combat advantage, by the way. Did he add that? Oh. Oh, Mitch. I was gonna say my, my, my bloodthirst thing that gives me a bonus versus Blade Foes, but hey, 24.

Alright, sweet. That'll hit. So we get him. Uh, D12 plus nine. You're still at his mercy. Yeah, I'm still gonna regret this, but, uh, 20 damage, 20 damage. Uh, 20 damage is damn good. Fire and Necrotic, I think it is. No, Necrotic damage. Straight up Necrotic damage. Also, remember, he is, he is prone too, so. Oh, snap. Well, that's good. You gotta get up. Uh, um... Uh, Jerick. Bah! Alright. I'm gonna one, two, three, four, three, six. I'm gonna use World and Blade. I'm gonna throw my blade at him. That'll, if it, if it misses, then it, uh, um, from wherever he is, it goes another up to five, uh, uh, spaces.

That's a different target, though. Yeah, I know. I had another enemy, so. Oh, okay, yeah, there is another enemy. You know, 13, that misses. I shield my eyes. I can't look. What'd you say? I shield it, I shield my eyes, I can't look. Yep, they both miss. They both miss. And it goes right back at me, it takes my head off. Uh, you're all done? Um... One, two, oh, I'm gonna put, um, a Geass and a Salt on. Okay. A Salt on with a Geass. Uh, Yanward, your turn. Okay, I'm gonna, or, or, is Dunk an enemy? Yes. Yes, he is. He's very bad. I'm just making sure, okay, I'm gonna walk right up to him.

I, I say my eyes shield, still. Shielded. I can't look. Uh, I can use an encounter, right? Sure. Alright, cool. Which one do I want to use? You can do whatever you want. Duncan's pretty weak, if it's the Duncan I know. I just want to let you know. Well, odds are... I don't know if it's worth an encounter, though. Well, odds are, like, it's just mimicking what he looks like. He's, he's gonna do probably a whole bunch of shadow shit. Yeah, yeah, you're probably right. Okay, I'm gonna use Bull Charge. Um, well then you're gonna want to move, well, okay, okay, so you charged at him.

Okay, cool. Yeah. And that is a D20 plus one. I should have had that ready. Ah, fuck. Classic Bull Charge. Uh, versus, versus what? Uh, let's, hold on. It's probably AC. Reflex. 42. Oh, that'll hit. Oh, shit! Ah, and let me clear this so I can roll my other edge. I think it's a 2D10 plus seven. Yep. Does he get flung backwards also? Yes. That's an army. 19. Uh, okay, so you've used Brute Strike, you've used that, this is Bull Charge. Uh, how far does he get flung back? I think one. Uh, target one square. Okay. Yeah. So he flies back one. Just, ugh! And I fill the void he was in.

Okay, cool, cool, cool. Ah, I see, that's cool. And negative 19 damage. Alright, it is, uh, Nightmare Duncan's turn. Uh, and he turns at Malkus, and he's gonna use Warsong Strike. I missed Warsong Strike. He's gonna sing, uh, he's gonna sing Back in Black. You were sitting on that one, were you? Uh, 20! Oh, shit. Versus what? Uh, AC. Yeah, I missed this, I got my plus two from my, uh, IC armor thing. Wow. Good job. Uh, yeah, so shit. Um, Breeze Nightmare. Uh, he uses his movement to stand up. I was gonna say, he turned invisible and reappears behind one of us. Uh, he's going to turn invisible.

And shift two spaces. Uh, still invisible, he's going to take a swing at Jarek. Yeah, but I can't see him, so... Yes, but that's not... Yeah, I don't know if it was, like, combat advantage or something like that. Uh, he's kinda treated that way. Uh, 17. For what? Uh, this is AC. And that shit is weak. Alright. Wait, why didn't you know that you chose wrong? Oh, I get a plus two for being invisible. Yeah, but I see in you, that's the idea of the War Forge, they see. You see invisible objects. Yeah. Show me on your character where it says, "You see invisible objects." I see dead people.

Vision normal. Living construct, don't need to eat, drink, sleep, breathe. Used War Forge, resultant counter power, you got a bonus to your will. Racial bonus to saving throws. I don't see anything about seeing invisible shit. I read up on the class and they said that it was... You get to do everything else. I don't see where that's a thing. Yeah, everything else being everything else that everybody else can do. I don't see it, bro. So does nineteen hit you? No. Still, it's pretty weak, you should go home and return that. Do some more crunches and some push-ups.

You bought a... Throw an iPad, not an iPad. A whoa pad. A whoa. Should I go after the nightmare or Duncan? Oh, you take six damage. What? He takes six damage, yeah. The creature. Why do I take six damage? Thunder. Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats. Wasn't that four? Thundercats. I'll look it up, because you're just making abilities for your character. It was five plus my constitution, which is one. So five, okay. Plus his constitution, which is one. Okay. So that's six. Slow, rock swell. This nightmare's turned out to be quite the bitch, so I don't know, it's up to you.

I was gonna say, did rock swell wanna try to, you know, do something with Duncan, or... Does it matter? It's not my son. Yeah, but you're not thinking that. You're not my son. Get off my plane. You bitch. You know, the nightmare Duncan's probably not as bad as the actual nightmare, so I'm gonna try one, two... The one thing that I would think is that after we kill the nightmare, I imagine everything that he created would be gone, so... Alright, so I'll just hold my movement to get there. Combat advantage, don't forget, you have combat advantage. Alright, so, vampire slam. 20 plus 10.

That's 18 versus reflex. Uh... I don't miss. Reflex, really? Reflex, sorry, no, yes, that just hits. This is fast, the demons whisper. Alright, cool. But you gotta imagine, he can be invisible, he has wings, he's... Yeah, but that's only his turn when he's invisible, walking about. Alright, so D10 plus 8. Actually, what I'm going to do is I'm also gonna use my encounter power for blood drinker. Uh, so I'm gonna throw in an extra D10 for damage. And that's 22 damage. And I don't even think it matters, but I gain a healing surge. Alright, so... Oh, I get my healing surge back that I...

That you spent earlier. That I spent earlier to do even more damage. Uh... Uh, the Breeze nightmare breaks apart. Yeah! And... That face was good. Uh, he, for all intents and purposes, is dead. But you see some of that dark, that inky shit kind of swarm over to Duncan. So he is still alive, there's still a trace. When he's alive or he is... The nightmare itself is dead, but it's a construct, it's not a living thing, it's more of an idea, more of a... Nightmare Duncan is just standing there like, "Well, this is awkward." Rogwell, your turn. Hm. That makes it even more awkward.

Does anybody need heals or anything? I like how he does the double A. I don't think the nightmare really hit anybody, so... He hit me. Alright. Alright. Um... Now, since part of the nightmare is going to Duncan, do we get combat advantage? Not the part with combat advantage that, granted, no, no, not that part, it was a different part. Okay. Um... I will be using Brand of the Sun versus Nightmare Duncan. D20 plus 12. And 24 versus AC. That'll hit. That is a... not a crit. Okay, um... I'm surprised the vampire didn't get hit by it. I turn away. Yeah. It's fine. Um...

We, yeah, we, I think we determined earlier that it's fine. Yeah. 1d8 plus 6. We had like a 10 minute conversation about it. Yeah. Uh, 10. Uh, 10 damage? Okay. And I weep. Yeah. I'm sorry. I know it's not my son, but it's very hard to hit something that looks like my son. Could be, we don't have the body. Casting spells. It's uh, it's radiant damage, he kind of recoils at it. Uh... Malchus! It's gonna be on me, isn't it? It's, ugh. It's not bloodied yet. I really don't want to deal with the killing blow. Um... It's not quite even bloodied yet, so... Yeah, so like, he at least has like another whatever, 50.

Unless you hit him so hard he pisses everywhere. Soul Eater hits... Uh... 19 damage. God, that's a meaty hit. That's thick. Juicy. That's all. He... okay. Uh, Jerk. I think it's time... For a great... Flame... Break! Aaaah! Oww! 24, does that hit AC? That'll hit him. Oh shit! Ain't nothin' stopping me now. I'm gonna win. Where is that D10? I got a D10! There's 7 damage! Uh, he is bloodied. Boom! You're welcome. The shadow bleeds. That don't make none sense. Yenward, your turn. Okay, I'm gonna cleave him. Cleave him up. Make him presentable. Is this 1-1-1 versus AC? Uhhhh... That'll hit.

Cool. And... D. Somebody answer that door. 11. 11 damage. Alright. Somebody better... Stick this kid. Uh, it's Duncan's turn. Huh. I will use, um... Warsong Strike. Uh, he's gonna shift back. Uh, and he is going to attack Malkus. With Slayer Song. Which is his daily. Uh, and he's going to sing Linkin Park's "In The End". Eww! Kill him with fire! Alright, I'm over it. I'm over it. That is not the Duncan I know. Eight. That hit? No. That's the Duncan I know. Uh, it does half damage, but... For Christ's sake. 19, so, uh, 10 damage. Still for a miss, not bad. No, fucking A. It's better than what I usually do when I hit.

Uh... No, but a shadow of the Duncan I knew. Thor! Literally. You're gay, dude. Six. Am I right? Hang on one second. Combat. Figured I should use it daily since this is probably the last encounter of the day. Fuck it. Um, actually, I'm not sure. What does a, like, I've... I know you guys do close blast moves. I'm not quite sure what close blast three does. Uh, basically you're gonna aim, especially this one is pretty easy, so like, you're, it's a, it's a blast that comes, like, out from you. Yeah, it goes out three blocks. Like three in that direction. So like, it would be like...

It would hit Nightmare Duncan and Mokus if I tried something. No. Well, it doesn't say enemy or does it say anyone, but then... Each enemy in the blast. Then it's only your enemies. Enemies. Enemies, okay. Cool. Uh, I guess I'll do that then. Let's see, um, D20 plus eight. And, oh, two for the, uh, combat advantage. No, that's gone. Oh yeah, you did, nevermind, I'm sorry. Yeah. This is on low, swarm of shadows, daily, let's see... Nineteen versus fortitude. That'll hit. Alright. Then... 3D6 plus eight. Twenty-one. Twenty-one damage. Very nice. Anything else? Is he, uh, if he's not dead, I guess I'll probably just kill an action point now and just see if I'd be the one to do it.

That way Rod's wall doesn't have to end this. Thank you. I appreciate it, brother. Yeah, kill an action point and do vampire slam. D20 plus ten. Twenty-six. That'll hit. Ref him up. I'm sorry, I love you. D10 plus eight. Fifteen damage. That'll kill him. You killed a shadow. Congrats. He completely dissipates, the shadow just kind of bursts out. And he lets loose this awful guttural groan as it happens. You killed me again, fuck you! Strangely enough in Duncan's voice, just kind of a "bleh". No bridge. I blame you, Malchus, again! And ladies and gentlemen, I think that's probably a good time to knock off for the evening.

And we'll get into more story stuff next time we sit down. Thanks for watching! Please subscribe, like, and comment!