Former Glory

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(Coughing) (Cans clinking) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s**t. Um... (Clears throat) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV Plus on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me.

From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. Is this your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV Plus. Episode 110 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you today by Loot Crate. If you go to lootcrate.com/dandr you can get a percentage off of your subscription through them.

If you check them out I highly recommend it. Even if it's just for a month give them a try. Last month's Fantasy Crate was the best one that I've seen so far. Fantastic t-shirt from Wizards of the Coast. All kinds of little things I don't want to spoil in case you're still waiting on your crate in the mail. But it's really, really awesome and I highly recommend you give it a shot. And if you haven't already check out battlebards.com. What they do is they create professional high-grade audio for RPG tabletop games. It helps set the mood for your players at home and kind of immerse them.

They're in the middle of a Kickstarter right now and they could use your help. So if that's something you're into, if you run games at home, if that's something you think you might be interested in, go check them out. battlebards.com Hey everybody, I'm Tom. I play Yanward on group one and I play Travis Clem on group DRP. Just drop them by for a second and remind you to go check out our Patreon. Patreon.com/dandr And don't forget to go swing by our website dandrpodcast.com Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Ninja Master.

Go around the table and start with Jamie. Hi, I'm Jamie. I am going to be playing Kava Truber, a Dragonborn fighter. And I forgot everyone who was on this for two seconds. Okay, I'm back. And Susan. Hi, I'm Susan Spinnator. I play Sonya Bine, a Gnome Artificer. And Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna Richardson. I play Nomaro Janai, a Vampire T-Flame. And I'm pretty sure that Jason's just taking liberties at this point because he knows I'm editing this one. I am not. I swear to God I'm not. And Izzy. Hi, I'm Izzy and I play Calith Argenti, the elf druid. And Tom. Hey everybody, I'm Tom.

I play Travis, a Human Barbarian. Okay, who here listened to episode 100? Who knows what's going on here. Me, me. Yay. I don't know. I just went on to the show. Plus we do communicate outside of the show. I know. This was more for the listeners. Oh, hi listeners. Hi listeners. I broke that fourth wall so damn hard. So everybody who did listen to the ending of episode 100, it was sort of revealed that Kava is going to be challenging for leadership of the Dragonborn. Like that's, that's, it's present, it's present day area 1263. So it's the same timeline as everyone else now.

The DRP is no longer two years in the past. So let's pick things up right there. Kava has officially challenged for leadership of the Dragonborn. They, you know, she's made her intentions clear. Is there something you guys would like to do as a group? You guys want to talk at all? Huddle. Okay. Huddle. First of all, can we specify what time of day/night, hopefully night it is? This would be... Night time. Well, the reason this would be night is it would be kind of dumb for you guys to challenge in broad daylight in the city of Orash while you have a vampire in your party.

That's a bit more common sense than that. When there's like a starry backdrop to a big battle. Can I roll a perception to see like how, what, what, what the scene is laid out to be like how many we're gonna like be expecting to fight and like... Absolutely. Go right ahead. What they got on them and stuff like that. Okay. I'm hit plus eleven. I'm hit plus thirteen. Sonya. We could just do it anyway. I'm sorry. I had already picked it up and then we were talking about it. Well, twenty five is good. Twenty five is good. Yeah. So, Kaba is going, so, Kraggar, the current leader of the Dragonborn has been so for almost a week.

He's rounding out that week long trial period where he has to take on all comers and like willingly fight them. Now this is slightly different because normally it's a one on one fight in these circumstances, but it's been made clear that you want to challenge as a group. Kraggar has his own group of fighters, so it'll be Kraggar and three of his kind of closest lieutenants. These are Kraggar being beat. May I roll? Sorry. Why? I was gonna make a shitty joke. I was gonna be like, can I roll diplomacy to see if it could be a dance off? Shitty joke. I'm sorry.

That would be streetwise actually, so. You should try it though. So these, okay, first of all, these are all obviously clearly fighters. They are armored to the hilt, huge body length shields. These things are basically oblong car doors. They're huge, heavy shields. All of them have these really long serrated swords, except for Kraggar who's using this immense halberd. It's larger than he is and it kind of towers over him in this arc. Kraggar himself is a good five to six inches taller than the already huge dragonborn that surround him. So you're guessing that this is going to be a fight.

Can I make a cannon that I've given Tiv those little things that police throw down to like make cars blow their wheels out? No. Okay. Are you going to take out the dragonborn with spike strips? Is that what they're called? No, no. Like the little Jacks. Yeah. Hey, I actually have a power called Spike Wire, which is throwing barbed wire at someone, so I could have given it to the rest. So give it to them. There you go. In preparation for this fight, have we grabbed any potions or anything? I would say that all of you would have at least one single potion, but it would be cure moderate wounds.

So it's a minor action 2d10 plus five, but no healing surge. We need to make a character for Tiv so I know his powers are because I forget what he's done in the past. I know he's done some pretty cool stuff. I think he has a jetpack. He does too. By the two year gap. Yeah, he's we can we can do that. Yeah. Does he have a little backpack? I think I think it was it was Canada. I made him a little backpack. Okay, cool. Yeah, he's got a little raccoon face backpack. So you as you guys as a group, do you want to discuss anything before this is because they are going.

So at this point you've made it clear that his little handler, this this kind of scrawny or Dragonborn, you know, compared to Kraggar essentially asked you, are you sure do you want to do this? And then after after cover made it absolutely clear. Yeah, he's going to walk away and they're going to start prepping this little arena that they have. It's this huge dirt pit inside of inside of Orash. It's right in the center of town. If you remember, it's this really large bridge city. So it's this mountaintop town where the peaks of this mountain are bridged with these these really sturdy, huge wooden bridges that kind of sway in the tremendous wind that flows through here.

So. This essentially is going to be both groups enter and until either someone surrenders, which these Dragonborn probably will not be doing. It's it's either surrender or die. How does one surrender? Just a reference. Roll the ground, shitting yourself. It's essentially throw down your weapon and put your hands up. But I trust them with that. Well, that's the thing. It's up to the it's up to the it's up to the leaders discretion whether they're going to take mercy on. And usually in cases like this, not so much. So we go in and we either win or die. It depends on if this guy wants to be seen as merciful.

No, because that's when Dragonborn ever wanted to be seen as merciful. That would just solidify Kaba's intent that the Dragonborn have become pussies if he doesn't murder us all. So, well, you may get your wish because he has cleaved through all the opposition so far horribly. And his nickname is the Merciless, so probably not. Hey guys, so sometimes, you know, he'll show mercy and he won't kill you. The nickname is, fair warning, the Merciless. I said Dragonborn in general, not Kraggar. Oh, gosh. OK, so we're still huddled up at this point. Can we fight Kraggar the easygoing?

Do you have a brother? Kraggar the, it's cool of you. Belfar the chill. Are those Doritos, man? Nah, I never want to be a leader, man. I'm cool. OK, so in the little huddle, Kaba's just going to say to her companions, "Five on three. I think we got a good chance." It's four technically with Kraggar. Whatever. Kaba can't do math. Kaba can't count, yeah. Nem's going to say, "Actually, it's four." Do you include Kraggar? I call dibs in the little one. What an affair. The littlest one is six eight. Oh, god. Oh, that hurts. And I got him. That is three of me. Oh, gosh.

Josephine, hey, Sonia, stick with me. Hey, boss, they look bigger than you described. How big did you think a dragonborn was going to be? I was expecting smaller than, you know, Kaba. So it's really four and one fourths versus four. Yeah. Yeah. Is Kaba going to give us some sort of pep talk? Yeah, she'll do like a little pep talky thing. Not that she's very inspiring. Says here Kaba's six four. Does it? Female dragonborn, that sounds about right. It's blank. I always picture her hunching. So, yeah, she's so old. She just can't even sit up all the way anymore. She's got scoliosis like fuck.

OK, so Kaba is going to do like a little pep talk and she's going to speak in terms that she thinks the group will respond to. But first, she's going to sort of crack her neck back and forth and like it's audible that she's like getting ready and like stretching it out. And she's just going to say, all right, if we're able to pull this off, we'll be able to have as much power, gold and money as we want. Cool, cool, bro. Kaba's just going to like lean into Kaba, like kind of like a younger relative talking to like a senile old grandmother like Kaba, darling, aren't money and gold the same thing?

Not are they the same thing? I always thought like gold is in like golden treasures. Gold is the currency of Theria. That's kind of wow. All right, let's go. So yeah, she'll put her hand in the middle, like total soccer team style. How low? That's a good point. Low enough that Sonia will be able to put her hand in. Put her hand on one of your fingers? Yeah. If everyone else puts their hands in, Nem will take out a handkerchief and put it on top and then put her hand on top. Tiff will jump on to Nem's arm and then put his little tiny hand on top of hers. She considers Tiff to be much cleaner than the rest of you, so that's fine.

Trappy face sometimes. Once every three years. Should we do an on three? What should we do on three? All right, so with everyone's hands in the middle, Kaba will whisper, Blood on three. One, two, three. Blood. Should we do that again? Should we like actually try? I thought right after I suggested it, I was like, oh, that's probably a bad idea to do that. There was no enthusiasm in that. Well, my first thought was like, that's basically like yelling out ice cream for Nem. Delicious candy. Gumdrops on three. Okay, do you guys want to do it again and actually sound like we can?

I feel like we probably should for the sake of show. Okay. One, two, three. Blood. That was somehow even worse. We should just go with the fish. I tried really hard. Because everybody's waiting for everyone else to do it. Are we going to do it on three or like after three? Oh my God. Okay, one more time. This is going in the blooper reel. Blood on three. This is what we spend the rest of the session time on. It's a war cry, guys. Ready? Are we really doing it again? One more time. Oh my God. Okay. Do it faster. Do it faster. One, two, three. Blood. You did it. Travis is like, we did it.

That one was good. Let's keep that one. What? Okay. Do you want us to do it again? No, I don't. It's fine. Remember, I'm not editing this one. Crips on three, everybody. One, two, three. Oh, good. I'm just leaving all of this in. I don't know what you planned for me to do. I have shared the table with everybody, the map. So I haven't done combat since January, so sorry if I asked a lot of questions. That's okay. Totally. It's been a while for me, so. Oh, those look like rough customers. We're used to those. Because. Okay, just like it. So you guys place yourself on the battlefield here somewhere.

I'll chill with Sonya. I feel like we're good support characters. Yeah. I'm back here making sure if any of them try to run away this way, I'll come down. No. Come on. You're like a heavy hitter. You are. Get up front. Don't go shabar on us. Get up there. What happened to him? Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Okay. It's under me. Main. Oh, it's starting out good. Hey, that's like my best. Hey. 29. Oh, man. So it was under me, right? Wait, I have an ability. It's under charisma. It says like, "init melee ranged." When does it? I had. I don't know if I still have something that lets me reroll initiative and I get to add 10 to it, but I don't know what it's called.

I know you have it for a fact, so go ahead and just reroll. Okay. And I get to do plus 10 to it, so I don't know how to do a modifier. We'll just add it. On it. Okay. Well. 36. You're probably going to be going first. Okay. I think we're good. Cava, your turn. So, Kraggar is going to take center stage in the middle of this little dirt arena they have set up and his three huge boys are going to be backing him up. He is very much taking the lead and he is going to slam his halberd against his shield, which is considerably smaller than everyone else's. It's pretty much just kind of fashioned to his arm so he can still swing this big halberd.

And he's going to make a gesture for Cava to come at him. Okay. Well, my movement is five, so... Okay, really quick though, I have a gameplay question not for you, Jason, because I know you probably can't give me the answer, but for everybody else, because his weapon has a reach, if I get into his reach, will it be an opportunity attack? I think you do still have to pass his square for it to be an opportunity attack, but I'm not sure the semantics of that. It might be something like that. Like if I go into his reach? I don't count it as an opportunity attack, no, but he does have a reach of two, so you can be...

Two? There can be a square in between. Two squares away. Yeah. But I would count that as an opportunity attack. I wasn't sure if going into his range meant for an opportunity attack or not. No, no, no, no, no. Anyway. Leaving him. Leaving would. Okay. All right, well, you only live once, especially in Theria, so we'll get right up to him. And she is going to start with Kneebreaker. Atta girl. But I'm going to mark him first. That sounds like a power a madam would have. Or a bookie. Yeah. You didn't make it on the Rangers game, fine. You're gonna break your knee. All right, and then I just click this little sword next to Kneebreaker, right?

Yep. Okay. Group two hasn't fought in the new table yet? Oh, that's totally cool. They did, well... We did it in January, but we haven't figured it out yet. Yeah. 33 will hit. Coolio, yo. So you are definitely gonna hit Kragar's knee here. Okay, and then I hit this little blood drip. Yep, first one. Okay. Oof. Atta girl. And also with Kneebreaker, because I'm wielding an axe, he gets extra damage equal to my constitution modifier, which is only four, but that's going to bring it up to 70. 70 damage from Kama. That is a fine way to open this. He is also slowed. Okay, there should be a little zombie guy.

Save it. Little zombie guy, yeah, I see the zombie guy. Click that. Boop. There you go. That automatically applies it to him. That didn't do nearly enough damage to his little green dot. Well, Jason did say that these were badass mofos. So, and because, you know, this is for the crown, I'm gonna use my action point. Ooh. And I'm gonna do a crashing assault. Does your action point do anything special? Because we are Paragon. Um, I honestly, I would have to look for it and I feel like I've taken up enough time. So, true. No, I'm just kidding. So yeah, let me open up this.

He's already targeted. I'm not Paragon. That's fine. That's a hit. Uh, gorgeous. Yep, that's a hit. 57 damage. Gorgeous. Okay. You have done 127 damage to Kraykor in your turn. One turn. And, wait, I'm not done. And because in crashing result, if it's a hit, I get to push the target three squares and it is prone. Ooh. Push him into his friend. If I push him into his friend, he can still reach me. Can I push him diagonally? Um, let's say yeah. Okay. So either way diagonally. Okay. Boom. And he's prone. And you hit the little zombie guy. Prone. Alright. We go back in this.

I'm really sorry this is taking so long, guys. You're alright. And prone. I'm still reacquainting myself with my character. And, Nam, your turn. Alright. Um, let's see, is he still within ten? One, two, three, four, five, six, eight, nine, ten. No, so I have to move. I'll move over here. And I'm going to use Gaze of Ruin, which is a minor action, and I'm going to affect Kraykor. Gaze of Ruin automatically hits, the target gains vulnerability to all damage equal to one half my level and my intelligence modifier, so he's five vulnerable. And it's supposed to be until the end of my next turn, but because I have lasting decay as it feats, it's going to last until the end of the encounter.

Ooh. Or until he leaves my eyesight, so like if he ran away like a little bitch and then came back, then we go back. Yeah, that's unlikely. If the target is armored, no, I'm not doing the armor, I'm doing him, so he takes vulnerability five damage. Um, next I am going to dominate his friend over there. Oh wait, I think... Oh, I did the wrong guy! Damn, how do I undo the zombie? I'll get it. Okay, thank you. Just kidding. Come over here, you. Let's get confused. There we go. Vulnerability. Wait, Bree, you should definitely target Kraggar, because if we kill him first, then the battle's over, probably.

Yeah, we can turn the other three against each other. But I can make his friend attack him. Oh, just kidding, do that. Dominarian Gaze. That was my plan. It's against willpower, let's see if it works. Hit! Alright, the target is dominated, saves, ends. While the target is dominated by this power, you can use a minor action while adjacent to the target to gain a healing surge, I'm not gonna bother with that. Yeah, I'm just gonna make him attack his friend on his turn. Okay. Um, let's see here... Dragonborn Gladiator 3. Huh. He's gonna move up to Cabba. And target...

Um, let's see here, he is going to use his bastard sword. That is gonna hit. 15 damage. So that's not too bad. Does that take it off automatically on this new table? Yes. The nagel thing? I feel like an old person, I keep having to ask, "Does this thing Google?" The word "finagel" didn't help. How do you work this contraption? I'm actually gonna do something, I have an immediate interrupt. Okay. When an ally takes damage from an attack, the target gains resist 8 against the triggering attack. After the attack is resolved, the ally gains temporary hit points equal to 5 plus 3, so 8.

Damn. So you left this with one more hit point than when you started. Cool, cool. Um, this guy's gonna pop an action point and do it again. Crit. Alright. I don't like that, I don't like crits. Unless they're for me. 35 damage. Can I do another immediate interrupt? Do you have another immediate interrupt? Yes. She's an against. Can I? I don't know, can you? I have shocking feedback, you quickly fire an enchanted shot at the attacking enemy, then cause magic from the enchantment to leap to your ally as a protective ward. I have to target him, I guess. That'll hit.

Okay. Yeah, 30 will hit. So 18, damn, 18 damage. And then you gain another resist 5, does that stack? Resist 5, or? And the ally gains resist 5 all until the end of the next turn, and she already had resist 8 all. So are both of them until the end of the encounter? No, just until the end of my next turn. I would say they stack then. Okay. Then you have 5 plus 8, 13. Resist. Let's see, your Dragonborn Gladiator won. I believe he is dominated. He is very much dominated. Oh, I never did the little, sorry, I meant to do the little zombie thing. That's okay. Zombie. He's mine.

I must mark him. Nem is going to blow Kraggar a kiss and make Dragonborn attack him. Okay. Let's see here. Can I pick what power he uses? It's an at will. Damn it. That is gonna hit though. Yeah. And then it's gonna do 32 damage. Holy shit, that's almost max. I love everything that's happening right now. We're making them look like bitches. I shouldn't have said that. They're gonna attack us so hard. To be clean. Okay, Kraggar's turn. Alright. Oh, here it comes. Oh god. Oh no. Maybe I shouldn't have blown that kiss. Kraggar, you're just gonna treat me crap. I mean, he's prone, so he's gonna have to do a bunch of shit.

Yeah, his action. He does a lot of issues. He's prone and slowed, so he's gonna spend at least two to do that, right? No. He is going to use his move action to stand up, so that will get rid of Perone. Don't worry guys, he can't get rid of bomber bolt. Kraggar is going to use Brutal Kick against his companion here to get him the fuck away. Dude, quit it. What are you doing? You know what, if I make him waste one of his attacks, yeah, let's do this. Let's see, you're almost there. Actually, you know what, he's just gonna use his halberd. Fuck it. 'Cause it'll knock him prone.

Yeah, then again. Watch him miss. Fuck, guys. Actually, you know what, Brutal Kick. Should've had my coffee. 'Cause he wants to push him away. So this will be versus this Dragonborn's Fortitude. He was the highest thing. Fuck, that's a crit. Well, he killed his friend. That is going to knock him back. We got a kill. Yeah, Jesus. Okay, that's gonna knock him back. Three squares, knock him prone. Holy shit. So, 34 damage. Shit, that's not a great start. For them. Well, for them, no. We're doing quite well, actually. Yeah, you take ass, you cuss. Let's go take on every king in Theria.

Yeah, I heard this is Minotaur. I can't even read. I don't know what's up. There's one bitch who only has one eye, so... She must've suck at fighting. Kregor's gonna pop his first action point and charge. Oh, no. So, one, two, three. That's still... That'll still get him there. And he is going to use Cleaving Blade. Which means he can use his halberd twice. So, let's target Cabba. 27's gonna miss. Were you gonna say, "I hope he misses me," because that happened? Well, I was gonna say, because he attacked his Dragonborn friend, and he was marked by me, he has to take damage.

Okay, yeah. You can interrupt for show like that. Yeah, yeah, seriously. Why did he attack twice? That's part of his attack. He attacks twice as part of his attack? Yep. Well, how much damage, Jamie? You keep doing your thing, I will find it. Okay. So, that is a crit. So, that is 54 damage to Cabba. Shit. So... I got you, babe. Here's the thing. Daunting challenge. Creatures marked by you take a -3 penalty to attack rolls for attack that doesn't include you as a target, which means I don't know if he hit his friend or not. Although he got a crit for that, didn't he?

So, that's an automatic hit. Yeah. Okay. So good. Yeah. So, yeah, everything stands. That will bring up Caleth. Oh, and he's gonna fail his saving road and not be slowed, but it doesn't really matter at this second. Okay, so... As a... Let's see, I'm gonna pop up to right here, right next to you. I'm gonna do, as a minor action, a Bountful Vigor. So, you're gonna regain five hit points every turn, as long as you're bloody, until the end of the encounter. Cabba is prone, too. Okay. You now have that regen going for you, so that's nice. Thank you. Then I'm going to, as a standard action, do, I think, Lifeblood Harvest.

Yeah, let's do that. I'm gonna use Lifeblood Harvest on Kragar. Okay, so that hit, with my weapon actually equipped, so I'm gonna roll blood. Do some blood to him. Not much blood, but a little blood. Blood! That's gonna bloody Kragar. Nice. Is he gonna do some sort of immediate reaction? As a result of being bloodied. Of course. Let's see. Can I do my other effect first? Finish up that power, whatever that is. Yeah, okay. Then it's gonna restore a Healing Surge to Cabba. So, let me do the little-- Awesome. Healy thing. So, yeah, she has 26 health back. Okay, sweet.

So, he would attack me or do whatever his bloody thing is before I do an action point, right? Yes. Okay. Okay, as a result of being bloodied, Kragar is going to go ahead and use Cruel Sweep, which is going to, essentially, he's gonna swing his halberd at both Cailleth and Cabba, because they're standing nearby. And he gets a bonus against bloodied targets. So, he's gonna get a plus one to the attack roll and then-- He does get a negative three against Cailleth, because he's marked by me. Okay, sweet. Awesome. So, let's switch back to him to do this. Is Cabba bloodied?

Yeah? Yeah, no, she's not. She's not? She's almost bloodied. Yeah, I was about to say, I'm like, okay. So... Oh, that's gonna hit both of you, yeah. 31 damage to Cailleth and 38 damage to Cabba. Fantastic. Cabba has the resist of the king. All right, so let's shave. Did you take off the three from him hitting me? Yeah, it still hit. I mean, that would still hit, but yeah. Yeah, it still hit you. I'll continue, Jason, sorry. 87. Okay, so 87 damage total to Cabba. Okay, and because he hit Cailleth, I get to do a melee basic attack. It's pretty much any time he hits anyone that isn't me.

So melee basic attack, he's already targeted, I believe. I don't think you've targeted anybody else since then. Oh, well, okay then. Nice. That will hit. Awesome. Okay, so it's back to my turn? Yes. Okay, action point. Checked out that, used that. Okay, let me check my other Healy powers, 'cause I like those ones. Okay, I'm gonna use Reap Vitality, so target Kragar. I hopefully have my weapon equipped now, so that should actually work. Great. Okay, do my damage is less to him. 34 damage? Yeah, sweet. And I'm gonna heal Cabba. So every turn she's gonna get plus five, because she's bloodied, or plus five if she's bloodied, and then she's gonna get plus my Constitution modifier, I believe, which is plus eight, no, plus three.

So yeah, she'll get plus three health every turn, which doesn't help that much, but... Does it do that automatically? Yeah, I'll just press the little heart for you. Make sure you're not selecting Kragar. I made sure. Okay, all done? Yep, I'm pretty much out of things to do. Alright, Travis, your turn. Finish him off, Travis, come on. Alright, so Travis is gonna mosey on up Kragar, 'cause he has exactly six movement speed. He's gonna tip his hat at Dragonborn number one as he's walking by, 'cause he's hypnotized. Yeah, that's true. How to set? And I'm gonna use Fearsome Smash against Kragar.

That will kill Kragar. Whoo! Well, yeah! Now let's just take down these little wimps. Rusty nipples for the win. Travis would like to set both of the swords down on the ground for just a second to look at his parties and blow off his finger pistols, and then pick his swords back up to finish off the rest of them. Jason, have we both been playing Injustice too much that I just pictured that as like, "Oh, we got down his first health bar." We haven't even finished the first round. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't even gone yet. Kava destroyed it. Kava has a good point about weak Dragonborns, I guess.

There's, yeah, we're not done yet, but yeah. Dragonborn Gladiator 2. Well, it's just been standing here as we've watched his leader just fucking go slit in his own throat in the sand. It's like, "You want some, boy?" So here's the way these guys are seeing it. Kraggar's done. Dead. Gone. That means a spot just opened up. Right. Right, because they're strong enough to do that. Right. Not for you, number one. You're mine. You're scary. They were afraid to take on Kraggar, but now that he's gone, we're fine. Well, he did cleave through the opposition, so now it's, you know...

The opposition was like a fluffy bunny and a fucking marshmallow peep. Well, he's been fighting nonstop for a week. True. Yeah, he didn't start with full health, but, you know, whatever. Okay, so Dragonborn Gladiator 2 is going to target Kava and use Finishing Blow. 21 is gonna miss. He's gonna pop an action point and use Bastard Sword. 34. That will hit. So he's not gonna get the Finishing Blow off, but... 27. That will knock Kava out. Oh no! I got you, babe. No worse. Wait, what? You're standing right next to her, healer. Why would I knock me out? Because you've had enough damage done to you to knock you out.

I have something that could bring her back on her. Have I been looking at the wrong thing where my hit points are the whole time? Yes. I'm pretty sure, yeah. I thought it was where wounds were. Yeah. Yeah, wounded. You have 111 damage down to you. That's how much it's done to you. Oh no, that's how much I had left. That's why I was like, chill. I was like, "All right guys, we got this." Because I thought I had 84 hit points left. You did sound like really cocky, considering how much damage you've had down to you guys. That explains a lot. Sonia, your turn. Okay.

I'm going to move here. I will start this off with getting back up our tank. I have something that could heal her. Healing infusion. So I target her and then I just do it like I would attack. Is it an attack versus her? No, no, no. It's... It's a... Is it a little zombie or a plus? Okay, so target regains hit points equal to its healing surge value plus wisdom. I throw a potion at her. At level 11, plus four. So her healing surge plus four. Okay. So let's see. Cabba gets to spend... Oh, plus seven. Sorry. Wisdom plus four. Okay. So she gets to pop healing surge. So Cabba is awake again.

Not dying. Still in the ground. That was my minor. So my standard, I will do dancing shield, which I conjure a shield of metal and magic that protects the target. The target gains plus four bonus to AC and reflex. So I'll give that to her. And then I will pop an action point. I go invisible. Would that be after I do my thing? It depends on where it says that in the power. It's my action point thingymajig. It's my paragon. Disappearing trick. Spend an action point to become invisible until the end of your next turn or until you attack. Oh, that should just happen.

Okay. So if I attack, will it become immediately visible? Yes. Okay. Nevermind. I can age rogues. And then I'll do brittle skin missile on that guy. Yeah, that's gonna hit the gladiator. Okay. I took it off Cabba. Really? Fuck you. That's ten. She rolled two ones, everybody. Thank you guys. Anything else? No, that's it. Okay, sweet Cabba. Your turn. You are awake. I'm awake! Yay! And there's a shield dancing in front of you. Yeah, that's awesome sauce. It's like what? Plus four AC and? Reflex. Reflex? Okay. Reflex and AC. Cool beans. I love it. So I'm trying to decide if I want to pop second wind, but that's a standard action.

So then I would be done. Or if I just want to continue the killing spree and hit somebody. I think you should use your second wind. It's hard to be a queen when you're dead. Yeah. As hard as they're hitting, you will be down again pretty soon if you don't use second wind. But I mean if you really want to die, Travis can be queen. That's fine. And you do have a potion. We did establish that. Oh yeah, taking a potion is minor action. Isn't it? Yeah. Question mark? Okay. I'm gonna do the potion. Cool. Okay, so go ahead and roll 2d10, please. We do 10. Okay, so 16 plus 5.

You are no longer bloodied. Phew, okay. And who's closest? Krager's dead, but he's still on the thingy. Don't forget to unselect him. I won't forget. Oh, I need to now. Delete him. Like a fucker. Whatever. He's trying to help. Like a helpful fucker. I'm gonna go for Dragonborn number 2 only because I think other people will be able to reach Dragonborn number 3 easier. So Dragonborn number 2 and I'm going to do murderous assault. Okay. That will hit. Hit. 32. Hit. Awesome. That is... Murderous assault. Hold on. How many weapon damage is that? That's 8. That's a daily. Oh, okay, cool.

Okay, yeah. 81 damage. Every time Jaime does a ton of damage, Jason's just like, "Wait." Cabba hits harder than Yennor, dude. Cabba hits hard as fuck now that... Yeah. So, blam. Dead. Done. Cool beans. Just one shot and everybody... Yeah, she's running out of dailies but she may not need them. She threw only one of her dice rolled lower than a 7. Yeah. Can you make your domineered person just slit their own throat? Kelsey has said that I can, yes. Commits poo. Kelsey makes the rolls around here. She's done it three times. She has. So also for murderous assault, it says I can make a charge attack if it's the effect.

And I haven't used my move action yet. How many spaces do I have? You have nowhere to charge. Shift back one and then charge forward. You can't. I don't think you can. I was just going to use my move action to move so that I could charge. It has to be a straight line is the problem. Can she just attack? Even if she doesn't do a charge attack? No. No, it specifically says charge attack. That's okay. I killed one. Because if Caliph wasn't there, you can charge up to the Dragonborn, but you'd still take an opportunity to attack from three and yeah. Oh, I was talking about charging three.

Right, but charging means you're charging towards something. You can't just charge to an open field or something. It has to be to an enemy. Okay. She was wondering if she could back up and then go forward to hit three. Right, but okay. The charge, okay, it's a one-way thing. You know what I mean? If you're charging to somewhere, it's like you have to do at least, like you can, it's not considered a charge unless it's two squares at least, I believe, and you have to be charging at an enemy. You can't just charge away from somebody. That's not charging. I get what you're saying.

Okay. It's cool. I killed one. I'm good. Turn over. Namm, your turn. Let's see. I thought she was going to back up this turn and then charge next turn. Oh, okay. That was why I cracked. Okay. I am going to use Storm of Shadows, which will hit Dragonborn 1 and Dragonborn 3, and it only hits enemies within a blast. I don't think he counts as an enemy. I mean, he's dominated, but he's still an enemy. He's still got a little red scary face. Hostile. It says hostile right next to him. That's true. He does have a scary face, Jeez. But he's not hostile to you. He has a scary face.

I choose who my enemies are. I think that makes sense. He should be able to count as an enemy. He's dominated, but that's a save and save. He saves against his enemy again. And I always figure when it's versus enemies, it's who you consider an enemy, not... Okay, go ahead. Okay. So let me roll my little Storm of Shadows. I missed one, missed the other. Well, it was the S4 too. I get to do half damage. How do I half damage? It's the modifiers up top. You see the, on the right hand side, all the way up top, you see the little plus minus? Then you click the half.

Okay. Half. Okay. And then... Blood. Half. Yep. 21 each. It says half next to it, right? Yes. It says half. Well, it's half of 21. So I just want to make sure that it did do that. Yeah. Okay, cool. Okay. So it said 21, but it actually gave them 10 damage like it's supposed to. Yes. Yeah. Perfect. I'm just making sure. I understand. We're still getting used to this table. They also get an ongoing five damage save ends. So let me give them that. Okay. I think it's this. Yep. Oh, is it a new round? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kava gets like seven health back or something from me. It automatically does it.

And then I get to teleport within that thing I made. So... I'd like to teleport here. That's within the thing I made, right? Yep. Okay. And I am invisible. Action point. I don't think I have to click anything to be action pointy. I was going to use Feral Assault, I believe is the one. Yes, because that's the entry flex. Against Dragonborn number three. Feral Assault. That's probably a good miss. Hit. Oh, hit. Cool. And then I do a little blood. 16 damage. 16 damage. Special. I can lose a healing surge when I use this power to either target a second creature. Nah, I'm good.

Okay. You know you're no longer invisible, right? Oh, that's not... wait. Well, yeah, he knows I'm there, but I'm still invisible. Right. I mean, he's... yeah, he can... yeah, I mean, you literally just hit him next to him, so just... yeah. But he still can't see me, so he'll still take a disadvantage. Yeah. He just won't ignore me anymore, right? Right. Okay. I'm going to target Kava and use Finishing Blow. That is going to miss. That would still miss. So... okay, number one. What do you want him to do? He can just kill himself. I mean, I guess I could use him to attract Dragon Ball number...

Dragon Ball Dragon Ball number three. Guys, vote. Dragon Ball number three's already wounded. This guy's completely healthy, so he should probably just attack himself, right? Yeah, I would just say, "Can he just kill himself?" So she's just going to do a little neck throat-y swing over to him, like, "Just do this. Kill yourself." That's cool. 20 damage to himself. He will fail to save. Kaelath, your turn. Yeah, okay. Dragonborn 1 is the one I'm on target, I'm pretty sure here. Let me just make sure my powers are visible again. Okay. Fantastic. Nobody's doing that badly health-wise, really.

So that's kind of nice. I guess I'll use... Yeah, I guess I'll use another daily. Okay, so this is Vexing Overgrowth. So he's going to get all tangled up in weeds and shit. So let's do that. Let's do some bloods. Not very much bloods, but a little bit of bloods. And then the effect is that he grants combat advantage while I'm adjacent to him. So then I... Combat advantage while I'm adjacent to him. I feel like I should do something else, but I can't really... Oh, I have a miner. I can make Tiff attack him. Can you imagine if a big fucking Dragonborn is taken out by a little tiny raccoon?

His whole family's going to change. They're going to kick them all out. It's a little pudgy one, too. He's not even a small, thin raccoon. He's like a big fat-ass raccoon. His wife just culls all their children. Okay, miner action. I'm going to tell Tiff, "Pokai his eyes!" This is kind of a long shot. He's done this before. Not against a heavily armored Dragonborn, but we'll see. Is his face heavily armored? Wait, you get your roll for him? Yeah. It's an NPC, technically. Also, to be fair, his face is heavily armored in the picture of him. So I imagine that yes, he's a Faridith.

I tried. Travis, your turn. Travis is going to put his hands on his hips and he's going to look back and forth between the two ones left. One of them is snarling angry and the other one is dumbfounded and covered in weeds. So he's going to go to the one who's dumbfounded and covered in weeds. He's going to do that little thing you do with your hands, like the square, to make sure your picture frame is straight. And he's going to hit him with something called Bloodstripe. You see how I targeted him, you guys? Alright. Can he even resist if he's dominated?

I don't know. I feel like if he slits his own throat, he's probably going to fight back. My thing is, if you're targeting him as an enemy, you can't have it both ways. If you're targeting him as an enemy, then he's not just going to give up. But if he's on your side, he's not really an enemy. It's one or the other, really. You can't have the advantages of both. You know? I'm just making a case for slitting your own throat. Mm-hmm. I look at it more as he's attacking himself. Like he's trying to fight it, but can't. That is going to miss his... Yeah, that's going to miss.

Yeah, I know. Can I attack him again with one of my Mine Action? Well, it's not good. What Mine Action? What? You have a Mine Action? I was... Huh? I was thinking, "Ugh, I want to pop my Action point." Oh, yeah, yeah, do that. Sorry. Okay, I'm confused by this. Just to clarify real quick. I have Rage Strike, which is one of my dailies. But it says that I have to be raging to do that. So do I have to put myself in a rage with one of my dailies a turn beforehand? Because it also says if I have one unused. So I don't know if it just takes one automatically. Do you want me to...

I can... Can I copy you? No, hold on a second. Barbarian Rage Power. Just wanted to make sure it was possible. I'm just looking through. Go ahead and use it right now. Cool. Okay, I already have... Okay, which one is one of your Rage Powers is the thing? Because I know it's unused. I have two of them. I have Ambush's Rage and Tyrant's Rage. Okay, so yeah. Okay, but I can just go ahead. Strength, if you expend the unused Barbarian Rage, you do damage based on the level of the Rage Power you expended. I can use one of my encounters that are simpler if that helps.

If you want and we'll look it up. Because I'm trying to figure out exactly... I think I can look it up through DDI and it might be simpler. Alright, I'll just use Savage Cut. Yeah. Woo, alright. And damage. 24. Yeah, that did it. Okay, 24 damage, yeah. Anything else, sir? No, sir. That's the item I sent. Sonya, your turn. I have something that does ongoing damage, so I'm going to hit the one that's only wounded and not the one that's bloodied. Is that okay, guys? Because I figure ongoing damage will do more to him. Sure. Okay. Thanks. You're welcome. Sorry, I was muted, but yeah, I think that's fine.

Okay. God damn it. I rolled a 5. 22 is gonna miss, sadly. Okay. That's all I have, so yay. Cabba, your turn. Okay. Here we go. Dragonborn number 3. Dragonborn number 3. I've pretty much used all my dailies, so we're just gonna go with Crushing Blow. So worth it, though. It totally was worth it. This fight's so easy. That's gonna hit. Alright. That will... Utterly destroy. Okay. That wasn't a daily. It wasn't a daily. It was an encounter power. He is now a small pile of jam. Oh, yeah, okay. That's fine. That is 2 weapon. Alright. That'll do it. He is totally, totally dead. So we'll get rid of him.

The only one left is the dominated one. Okay. I just want to move right here really quickly, and that's more like a roleplay thing for after the fight, but my turn's over. Uh, Nam, your turn. 1, 2, 3. Just undominate him. Be like, "Bam. All your friends are dead. Run, fucker." That'll be funnier to kill him. Oh, they can surrender. Tell him to surrender, and then we can totally murder him. Ooh, good, good, good, good, good, good. I guess I don't need to. Okay, so how about I just hold my turn, let him maybe attack himself, maybe come out of himself, and if he doesn't come out of himself, I'll just let him go.

And we'll do that. How's that sound? Sounds good. Okay, I will sit on my action. How do I do that? Well, you moved. Oh, shit. Can I just move back? Sure. Okay. There we go. I had other plans, but it was a good idea. Uh, so he's gonna attack himself. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and let him do that, just for funsies. Uh, 19 to himself. Alright. So that won't quite kill him. Alright, do you wanna see if he save ends, even though I'm just gonna let him go anyway? No, he didn't save ends. He's so weak-willed. Alright. There you go, honey. This poor fucker. All these Dragonborns had families.

I imagine we're all just looking at each other like, what do we do? Do we slap his eyes and snap his fingers so that he's out of it? Oh, wait, Jason, is there a crowd, like, surrounding this, like, cheering on? So could we totally pull, like, Gladiator, like, thumbs up, thumbs down, whatever the crowd is? Are you not entertained? You absolutely can. Is that something you want to do? It's not my turn. Yeah, it's not my turn. Okay, I guess I'll keep sitting on my turn so that Tava can do her thing. Unless Caliph wants to fucking murder the guy. Yeah, do I wanna murder the guy?

I don't think so. I think I just wanna let Cava do her shit, you know? Yeah, let's let Cava have this moment. Yeah, I'll just delay and let Cava go. So I'm imagining everyone's just delaying? Yeah. Caliph will obviously rake her eyes at the guy like, are you fucking serious? And just kinda look around at the crowd like, come on! Cava's gonna tip his hat to him and just walk away. Cava, your turn. Okay, so because you said the crowd was cheering, Cava will, like, step over Kraggar. Is it Kraggar? Yep. She'll step, like, right over Kraggar, over to this poor Dragonborn, and she'll peer around the crowd and sort of gauge their reaction as to whether or not he should die.

Well, the Dragonborn being Dragonborn, yeah, they want him to die. Firstly, Kraggar looked like he was going to be the savior of the Dragonborn people. That's kind of what each of these people were pitching. It's like, okay, the Dragonborn are weak. You know, last leader Haskin was basically just running a glorified harem. All the female Dragonborn in this place were pretty much subjugated to just kind of serve him. They weren't allowed to do much of anything else. Dude, fuck that! Yeah. Dude, Cava, recruit them as your fucking lieutenants. All female Dragonborn.

Yeah, just like, hey, are you tired of fucking bowing down a male Dragonborn? We're going to run this like a fucking matriarchy. Yeah, let's start a matriarchy. Let's do it. Who's going to object? Travis, fuck all our white male listeners. It should be noted. Travis, you're putting his white male hand high up in the air. It should be noted that the Dragonborn as a race don't really have anything against women. It was Haskin who had something. It was more like, well, they have a place and that's circling me. That was basically when Group 1 visited Orash. He was pretty much holding court to a pack of female Dragonborn.

That's what he did all day and regaled them of tales of how fucking awesome he was. He was kind of like the King Jong-Il of the Dragonborn, just telling them, oh, fearless leader's pretty awesome. They all punched out Kord once, that kind of thing. All right, so we should hold up the whip and tell the women to slay the masters, is what you're saying. Yes. Leave the children alone. I will break them. Okay, so I'm sorry, I don't know if I got a straight answer if they want me to kill this dude. Oh, yeah, they absolutely want you to kill, yeah. And Kraggar kind of failed them in their eyes and they're a bloodthirsty lot, if nothing else.

They, yeah, he should die. He should die. Okay, so she's realized this, Kavath realized this, and so she's going to hold up her axe against his throat and just scream out, "Let there be blood!" And she's just going to swipe it across his neck so he bleeds all over the place. It should also be noted that this guy was dominated, so he puts up no fight. Hardcore. And after a few seconds of gushing all over himself, this dragonborn is going to fall down in a, just sort of a bone jelly heap, just kind of like, and just fall down. Can I put some of that bone jelly on my toast?

I would recommend it, but sure. And this crowd is going to lose their shit. Elsely, yeah. You are right, considering as of right this second, Kava is technically the interim leader of the dragonborn. You have the job until you're dead or they find someone better, essentially. That is, you have one week starting right now to defend that. Now, I guess I should go over the rules of this, because there are rules. Yeah, I want to know what the rules are. Well, let me start with the good news. The good news is, since you fought today, you don't have to fight again today.

People can step forward and challenge you, but there's a grace period of one day. Because, I mean, even the strongest of warriors can't fight 10, 12, 15 battles in a day and be expected to be worth anything. If someone was going to step forward, they would have to do it tomorrow. So you do get to rest at least. Challenge them today. Just for extra intensity, you're just like, OK, next fuckers, come on. I don't know how many hit points do I have right now? 70 or something? We can do a short rest and pop a bunch of searches and stuff like that. Basically, you get back to full health.

That's sure we could do that. You won't get dailies back, but... What are the rest of the rules, Jason? Is that basically the whole spiel of what's allowed? That's the good news. Oh, there's bad news. Oh, there's bad news. You made a sound. The bad news would be that every single day for the next seven, someone can step forward and challenge you. And it's their right whether they'd like to challenge you in singles combat or with their own group. Just like you did against Kraggar. And again, even even the mightiest of warriors after, you know, five, six, seven days of that, it gets a little hard to keep up with.

OK. Can I ask really quickly? So we're in like this arena-ish area. Yeah, it's like a huge dirt pit type of thing. Where is everything else in the Dragonborn community in relation? Well, OK, if you're picturing the Dragonborn city itself, there's this there's the center of the city, which is where you are, which is pretty much where the leader of the Dragonborn would would be this this this massive dirt pit where there'd be fights of all kinds there. And then right around this would be trusted people, lieutenants, you know, anybody that the commander, you know, like women.

If you're talking about Haskin, it was a lot of women. And then going out from there, you'd have where other people live. And there are these huge wooden rope bridges that kind of connect everything. So the city kind of exists in little hubs divided by chasms. OK, so is there like a nearby throne that Kava could go sit on? Yeah, if you'd like to call it that. It's a it's a pretty big chair, essentially. Yeah. I like how she said it like it was right behind us, like, you know, like three steps back where that throne was. I mean, you'd overlook the the pit.

That's pretty much where, you know, it this is this is kind of, you know, just it's not just for challenging the leader. It's also for entertainment. That's it. Any any dispute between Dragonborn are settled here. There's a lot of kind of dick measuring about, you know, I'm tougher than you. Well, let's settle it in the pit, that kind of thing. The throne overlooks that. How are there any Dragonborn left? Well, they don't always fight to the death. It's I mean, OK, fair enough. They fight for the death over everything, like legit everything. Why are there any left?

Someone stole the sandwich I had from the fridge. I have like a really serious question. OK. About Dragonborn. OK. Do they lay eggs? That's an adorable question. I hope they do. I hope they do, too. Because if they lay eggs, then that would mean like multiple eggs, right? Like that's how it works with birds. Yes. Some birds only lay one egg at a time. Oh, they do? Yeah. I guess I was picturing more like dinosaurs. Like ostriches, I think only lay one egg at a time, I think. Yeah, ostriches usually. Well, have you seen the size of ostrich eggs? There's a reason. Yeah.

Have you seen the size of a Dragonborn? Right. Oh, my God. Dragons actually only lay like one egg at a time, usually. I picture it like this. See, female Dragonborn have breasts. I always pictured them... Hmm? Because that's fucking weird. Well, I'm talking about like the character art for all Dragonborn. All female Dragonborns have breasts and they lay eggs. Well, that's a good point. I think if Dragonborn are reptiles and unless dragons have live young, then Dragonborn probably wouldn't have live young. See, Dragonborn lay... OK, dragons lay eggs. I've always pictured the Dragonborn as just having kids, fairly traditionally.

Oh, that's creepy. That's gross. That's really creepy. Like, I prefer eggs, actually. Wait, can we switch it to eggs? I picture a gooey sack. Oh, you just made it so much worse. That is much worse, yeah. I'm sorry, that's the image. Like puppies? Like a snake egg, where like the outside of the egg is like not... it's not a hard shell, it's like a rubbery thing. Right. It's like a kind of an embryonic type of like goo. OK, I can see. So they lay that? I just kind of picture it just like fairly traditional like birth in that sense, but it's just kind of... Like a fucking urukai coming out of the...

Yes! Yes! Excellent. Yes. Do eggs come out of a vagina? Yeah. I never really thought about it. Do your eggs come out of your vagina? They should, if you have a period. Good point, good point. OK, so yeah. I think you should delve a little bit further into this topic on your next living intheria, because... I'm not just Dragonborn. It should be like the birth of all the creatures, like how they sleep. Oh my god, team things. Minits, hearts, lay eggs? No, definitely not. I think it's a 10-word ask that question in character someday. I can imagine drows spitting their children out.

Like they just talk a little bit and it just like pops into like a fully grown drow. That's why they all have daddy and mommy issues. They started as the same piece of spit on the floor. I like how living intheria is becoming this thing where it's basically us having to dodge questions. OK, so hey guys, what do you want to do? Is Callum pregnant? Like why did you ask that? Because someone asked how they're still Dragonborn and I was like, well if they have like litters then that would make sense. And it was just a train of thought. Well there are far less Dragonborn than a lot of the other races, like say elves or dwarves or something like that.

Because from birth they're kind of assessed and if there's any like, oh your arms are kind of puny. You look fucking sickly or something like that, they kill you right off. And then you're assessed throughout your entire life. If you're not a very strong fighter while you're growing up, you're probably going to die. And then on and on and on. And then of course into adulthood where they're constantly kind of bucking for position within the group here. So yeah, it's a fairly thin herd. So we can expect them not to cure any diseases anytime soon. They must be pretty fucking inbred.

No I'm tasting like really fucked up. If only a select few, like say 300, 400. Oh no it's more than that. It's more than that. I mean it's in the thousands, it's just not many thousands. And yeah, it's not that they don't have kids, it's just they don't survive. And Dragonborn tend to live a little longer than let's say humans or something like that. They live into their hundreds, not too far into their hundreds. Like around the 140, 150 mark, you've had a really good run as a Dragonborn. Is he like right there? She's 110, hundred and something. She's a hundred and something.

Yeah, she's old age for Dragonborn. Do they have like a point where they can't reproduce anymore? She's right there. She's, yeah she's, Kava would be there. I'd hate to see Kava get a hot flash. That's why her fire breath is so much stronger than everyone else's. Okay, so I don't know if we want to explore the town or what, but I was definitely thinking like a big celebratory feast of sorts because that seems like a Dragonborn thing to do. Yeah. Celebrate a murder? Sure. Celebrate several murders? Thank you. Give us credit, okay? Well, Kraggar is the thing you'd be celebrating.

His boys are just kind of like garnish, but like wow, you took down the guy that other people couldn't. So are you going to address these people and tell them to put together a feast or is it something that you're just expecting them to do? Is there like a second man? Well, you would essentially be talking to, well okay, do you remember how Kava spoke to Kraggar's handler, his mouthpiece? That's pretty much the guy that you would inherit. And his name is Wernall. That is the name of a Dragonborn who does not describe my feelings. There's a reason he's a mouthpiece.

You learned early on. My parents don't even like me enough to get you a name. Don't get killed. Let's kill Wernall. Bring Wernall forth. That's not fair, Kava doesn't get to pick her own mouthpiece. Fuck Wernall. She can assign anybody she wants as her mouthpiece, but it's more- Just point to someone random and be like "You!" "You're mine now, I own you." First things first, we're gonna figure out whether or not I lay eggs. Let's go. I like how everyone else is laughing and Susan just feels bad for the poor guy. Some young 17 year old Dragonborn and she's like "What?

Oh fuck!" I'm still caught up on Dragonborn have breasts so I'm imagining this guy looking at Kava and she has like, you know, post-menopause breasts down to her knees. Her armor would keep it in place. But he knows. You have the best bra ever, but you can still tell. So I guess I would percept, or if we want to percept to see if we could find if anyone's coming to approach us, wherever Wernall is. Well, okay, Wernall would... So after Kraggar's down you've slit the throat of the last man. Crowd's going nuts. Wernall would actually approach you and it's, again, Dragonborn tradition would state that it is your right to either accept this guy as your gopher.

Essentially your right hand man. And again, he has a place in the Dragonborn community and it is not a fighter. That's not really his thing. But he has sort of carved out a little existence for himself. He's not the weakest, he's just not the strongest and he knows that. So this would be a fairly thin Dragonborn, a little shorter than everyone else. A little more snake than dragon. If you were to get a picture in your head. And Wernall would approach Cava and then bend down to one knee. And instantly, if you remember his tone of voice before when he was addressing Cava, sort of a shift in tone.

For everyone out there, bring him and just put in the chat, stick your dick in his mouth. Very DRP. So yeah, this guy's tone of voice is going to change instantly so he's kneeling down before Cava. Cava's just going to look down at him with disdain and she's going to say, "State your worth to me!" And he's going to look up into Cava's eyes, half expecting you to just kill him right off the bat. Well she's holding her axe as if she will if he doesn't, you know. Why shouldn't she kill him? Do it. He was a dick! Do it. And he's going to go into full gro- just full grovel mode.

Just the whole- "My queen, no one knows the dragonborn community more than me. I would be a very valuable asset." You're so creepy. Nem does say that. Cava will look at Nem and be like, "Uh huh." Cava's going to ask, "And do you value your life?" And he's going to give it thought. Maybe? No no no, it's more like he's- it's almost like that's a trick question. "I live only to serve you." Blah. That sounded disingenuous. Okay, actually just fucking kill him. I know dragonborn don't have hair, but if he did he'd have greasy ass hair. He's basically a dragon with like the appearance of worm tongue.

Like... Okay, at that she's just going to give a little smirk because that's sort of what she wanted to hear. And she's going to say, "Prove it!" and smile a little wider. "Lick my boot." Awesome! Are you saying this loud? Is this- I'm saying it so that it's loud enough for everyone to hear. Oh man. Come on, Heskim. I mean not Heskim, sorry. Worm-el. Worm-el. I'm worm-el. I think we should all call him worm from now on if he gets to live through this. Vote? Yeah? Yes? Yes. Yes, have it. Because- He's worm. The only reason she's giving him this chance is because she knows that it will be hella embarrassing.

And when he questioned her when she tried to take on the throne, she wants to bring him down a peg. Okay. Also it's pretty funny. It's kind of his job to be part hype man for the current administration. Like that's kind of his, you know, it's like "what makes you think-" kind of to psych the opposition out on the way up. But yeah, that kind of backfires in a situation like this. Should estimate his fucking champions better. Well, I mean, to his credit, Kava's a post-metapalsal female dragonborn on a fucking rampage with a bunch of non-dragonborn at her side.

He's like "pfft, no chance." The keyword there was "on a rampage." Yes. Okay, do me a favor, roll a perception check. Okay. Just Jamie or everybody? Just 17. Okay. You're gonna see him hesitate. And he's looking around at the crowd who is silent after, like they're kind of like "grrr" and then they're listening to this conversation and then the "lick my boot" comment. And the crowd's gonna go silent. Partly because as Kava's first act, she's totally bitching this guy out, or at least attempting to. Which is an interesting opening gambit. Yeah, he's a little bitch.

Right, but like, that's... Pride is a huge thing in the dragonborn community. That's what they're constantly fighting for. And what you're doing is stripping this guy's manhood away. Like stripping his pride completely. Not just... completely. Dude, it seems like they focus too much on pride and not enough on actual strength. It depends. The two are tied very closely together. Oh yeah, no, but it just seems like, with Heskim and whatever the fuck, you know, it's like, really dude? Like if you spent more time training and less time... fucking? Well that's the thing, Heskim was in charge for a long time.

Heskim was in charge for years, so they've kinda been... Poisoned? A little bit. Like that's been their mentality for a very long time. Wait, Heskim the guy we just killed? No, no, no, Heskim the guy we just killed. Oh, Heskim was the old guy. Who'd we just kill? Sorry. Kraygar. Kraygar. Got it. I will keep that in mind now. Yes. The guy's been in charge for less than a week. But what a week. Yeah. So, Wernil is going to... He's gonna look to the crowd and then up to Cava and then at Cava's axe. Which is still coated in the blood of the last person she... she... she X'd off here.

So... In the stark silence of all of these Dragonborn, who are usually very loud and rambunctious group, you can hear this... this spatter. This dripping of blood coming from Cava's axe. Just kind of "p, p, p, p" as it hits the dirt over and over again. And then Wernil is going to lean down, stick his tongue out and lick Cava's boot. Imagine him just sneaking it out from like three feet away. Like a chameleon. It's a little snake-like. It's a little... not all Dragonborn tongues are like that, but his is a little more... a little more reptilian, a little more snake-like.

So it's just kind of a little forked at the end. Just kind of... He just straight tongues it. Is that what happens every time he opens his mouth? Does he make that sound? Because that would be awesome. Only S... only words with like S's in them. Like he tends to elongate his S's. There's a slight lisp. It's a speech impediment and he's a little sensitive about it. Nem's going to like do a little laugh and then she's going to do that thing where you do the peace sign, but backwards and you put your tongue between and go... Like lesbian sex. Doesn't have to just...

So this crowd... is going to do... OK. If you ever hear... It's that sound when like someone really gets someone good. Like you're making fun of somebody. It's like "Oh." Like that. Everybody's just kind of... like... It's the second-hand embarrassment of watching this guy. It's like... "Oh." Like everybody at the same time. Just kind of this low grumble just kind of resonates with all of these Dragonborn. OK. Kava's going to... after he's finished, she's going to reach her hand down and like help him stand back up. And then again loud enough so that everyone can hear, she's going to say...

"You've proven your loyalty. I'd like to prepare a feast. And every Dragonborn will attend." And she's going to look towards the crowd in like a cheering manner. So Dragonborns dig feasts. And they're... I mean they're all up for celebrating, you know... a slaughter. And that's pretty much what this was. So they... yeah, the crowd's going to kind of fire back up again. And Wernle is still hunched over. And there's... there's... there's a look of regret. Kind of flashing across his face like, "Yeah, I just saved my life. Fuck." Now he's pretty much got a hope that Kava never loses.

That's the position you've put him in. I like it. I like forced loyalty. Yeah, he is no good. You have ruined him. Like he is no good. Well, I'll... she'll give him a hard pat on the back. And I'd like you at the head table. We need to discuss what matters to attend. And he's... he's gonna... he's gonna stand up. And then lower his head not... not... not quite making eye contact. And then... and then he's just gonna like low... look... just kind of like... not quite bowing more hunched over. Like he's waiting for you to hit him. "As you wish, my queen." God, Jesus.

Cut out his fucking vocal cords. What if we like punched him in the throat? Would that help? I was just thinking that. Tell him to cut the fucking... just tell him to like speak in a different voice. Just be different. Stop being so fucking obsequious, you piece of shit. And there's something about your face. Change that, too. I don't think... I don't think Kava would know that word. No secrets. I don't think so either. Dumb face, you stupid voice. Change it. Change the whole thing. So how long is it gonna take for the feast? Like do we have time to mull about? Yeah, you sure can.

It's gonna take them a little bit to... My nun robes are coated in blood. And the nipple blades are out, so you gotta put those back in. Right. And then there's holes. I gotta patch 'em up. This sounds like bad BloodRayne cosplay. That's... You mean the best BloodRayne cosplay. Straight out of the movie. Ew. While we're waiting for the feast, what do you guys wanna do? Ask him about anyone who's a possible threat to your crown. And make him give us a tour while he tells you about it. So we know where everything is. Okay. And tell him I want my boots clean. Just leave your boots out every night and pray him to lick.

Oh my god. That's so terrible. She'll look towards worm again. I like that you're calling him worm. I mean, have you listened to that voice? It really fits. And she'll say, "I'd like you to show me around. Me and my companions. I'm sure there's been a lot that's changed since I've last seen the Dragonborn." As you wish. Okay, now you're just doing it on purpose. Yeah, Jason, stop. I haven't changed the voice, guys. I'm sorry. Just kidding. Just kidding. This is gross. Now he's got mud on his tongue. It's gonna be worse. Mud and blood. True. Blood is a lubricant. Um, thanks for letting us know that.

I meant like, inside your veins. Oh god. I thought you just meant, "Hey guys, have sex with your girlfriends all month long." I mean, yeah, do that too, but... Did we just learn something about you? Okay, related. Related. Seriously. Did you know the ancient Greeks thought if you had sex with a woman while on her period, it would give you superpowers? It will. That's why we don't have fucking superheroes running around these days. Men are weak. Okay. Everyone's been comfortable? Really so, all of the listeners out there, if your girlfriend's on her period, man, you should do her.

She wants it. If she has it, she has it. Oh my god, don't look at yourself. See, there's important cabbie out there. Be a man. Oh. It's okay. Like, maybe check first. Everything's done? Just don't shower. Oh, are we doing another fanfiction episode? I don't wanna. Surprise! Oh god. Okay. We can tell when we're doing a DRP episode. So, okay. So, Wernall is going to start to give you the tour, and as you're crossing these large bridges, and he's showing you where they make weapons, and there is a portion of the community that's just... The intent is just to raise children.

Like, that's pretty much... They have a couple of teachers, they are separated from their parents for the most part, really early on. And, um, for years they kinda just get the shit kicked out of them. Within reason, just to teach them to be tough. That's pretty much what they're doing. So, you wanted to ask him very specific questions. I don't wanna be the only one who's talking to this guy. Like, we won together, so does anybody else wanna... How luxurious are our quarters? That's what I wanna know. You're asking him directly? Uh, yeah, sure. Do you want me to do that actually in character?

Sure. Okay. Um, yeah, Kayla will do the exact same thing. She'll step forward and be like, "How luxurious are quarters?" That's what I'm curious about. I'm assuming that you'd be staying with our lovely queen here. Then how luxurious are her quarters? We are co-queens, by the way. Let's get that out of the way real quick. And then she's gonna wrap her arm around Kaba like, "Right? Right?" That was the deal. Do me a favor. Roll perception check. Worm thinks you're lesbians. Good. 21. His face is gonna twist up a bit when you say that. Um, and you can tell that he doesn't care for that too much.

I don't care for him too much. Problem solved. Alright. She's not gonna react to that. Even though she knows it upsets him, that just kinda makes her happy because he upsets her on every level. Um, Wernher, after a second, he's just kinda like, "Mm." And then bite that back. If you're staying with Kaba, you will have the finest quarters of any dragonborn. Yeah, can we look perception check to see what the dragonborn city kinda looks like? I imagine it like fucking Sparta, where it's like, "Here, to make it extra luxurious because you're sick and you're dying, I gave you a rock to put your head on." I kinda pictured it.

Never mind, I'm not gonna use the reference. It's too late. Bye. Okay. She just leaves the call. I was just about to make a really weird reference that I only know. I think Brianna and Izzy watch the show Vikings. Oh, fuck yeah! That's what I pictured it as. It's like fire and wood and just awesome. Cool. I'm fucking down with that. Like big ass halls and shit. Mm-hmm. That's fucking sick. You're on the right track. So picture, um, picture these structures that are part tent and part wooden skeleton. So it's these really, a lot of stretched over like leather and stuff like that.

Like it's there, it's enough to keep the elements off of you and it's enough to, it's enough to kind of keep you somewhat warm. There are fires and such, but it's not, it's not what most people would call luxurious. Luxury is not, even for the leader of the dragonborn, it's, if anything, you're being watched more than anyone because it's kind of an all eyes on you. As of right now, Kava is the example of what the dragonborn should be. Yeah. Old and decrepit. You got it. But you look great. So Anya's going to step up and she can be like, so the beds on the floor, right?

I won't need like a step stool or a ladder. I'm going to imagine like you just now noticed she was there. Ah! Stop. His eyes are going to kind of snap down to Sonya and this twisted look of disgust washes over him because technically, even if it's through voting or persuasion, this little gnome has an inside track on what decisions will lead the dragonborn people. That disgusts him. And he doesn't even, he doesn't even reply to Sonya. It's just, just kind of a, just he kind of flicks his tongue out at the end of it. She'll poke him in the knee and be like, Hey, I asked you a question.

You're talking to one of your leaders here. Come on. Oh God. Sonya's the fucking best. I'm going to get killed. Wernil is going to lean down and to give you, to give you an idea of size, Wernil is, is quite a puny dragonborn by dragonborn standards. He could easily bite the head off of Sonya if he wanted to. If you require some assistance getting into bed, I'm sure we can find someone for that. Wow. We like chew on some mint leaves or something. And she's going to back up while waving her hand in front of her face. Kava, you need to do something about that.

This guy has some serious stank. Boral hygiene for dragonborn. She's going to teach the classes at the community college. That shall be my first decree. Brush my stanky ass mouth. Wernil's going to clench his fist and just not, not lunge for it, but just sort of lean for it. It's like, Oh, Oh, he wants, he wants to hurt Sonya. Things I could do to him. I'm just going to kind of like position herself between him and Sonya, like fuck off. She's my gnome. I am lesbians with all of you, including Travis. So we're clear. I was just going to say, uh, when Nim steps in front of me, can I do my fade away power and then appear behind him and like poke him in the back?

What does that accomplish? I don't know. Just to antagonize. Does it have to accomplish anything? Yeah. Fair enough. If you like, sure. I don't feel like getting killed. Next time guys. Next time. So, so I was just wondering that too important or anything, but uh, kind of name is Wernil. That a traditional dragonborn name or? Just, just kind of a low growl. It was the name given to me. That's it. That's the only, yeah, just, just that's, that's it. Like there's no further explanation. Just like that's what was given to me. If you want out of that, I mean, I believe we have the authority to rename you if you like.

We're starting to get mean-spirited on Fort Worth. Uh, Cava's gonna sorta switch gears cause she's not really paying attention to anything that's going on with, with uh, Sonya or Travis or any of them. She's sort of looking around at like what she considers her kingdom now. And she's just gonna be like gazing in the distance and ask, "Wermal, tell me this. Are there any challengers that you believe will face us?" Um, firstly, there's an N, not an M. Sorry. And he's, he's going to look around and then get very close to Cava. Just kind of sidle up next to her and lower, lower his voice.

"That would be Palsk." And uh, he's, he's waiting to see if that, that, that name rings any bells for you. Does it ring any bells? Um, probably not because you, you haven't really, you haven't been in their community. History check? Um, if you'd like, go right ahead. History check or streetwise? Oh, I know all about bells. You could do, you could do, you could do streetwise or history. Okay. But history would give you more of a, historical thing. Streetwise is going to give you more reputation. I know nothing. I got a, I got a natural 20. I know everything. So what is his favorite color?

Because that's all that really matters to me. I thought we were all doing it. I was going to say Fuchsia. What color are his scales? That's a good question. Fuchsia. I picked him like a copperhead. He looks like Magneto. That's the... Okay, no one else is rolling. All right. So, um, so, Nem and Sonia. Okay. Oh, wow. Oh my God. Poor Travis. I ain't never been much for book learnings. It's amazing we got two crits on each side. Anyway. And then one smack dab in the middle. Yeah, that's true. So, Nem and Sonia are going to know a bit about, they're going to know a bit about Baalsk.

Baalsk is one of the most ferocious Dragonborn warriors there are. In terms of reputation, this guy is... If not for the fact that he was Kragar's brother, he would probably be leading the Dragonborn right now. When Kragar's always been more the dominant political guy, a little more conniving. And Baalsk was always viewed as runner up in the family. Excellent fighter, excellent, you know, big, meaty Dragonborn. This guy is approaching 7'6", somewhere in that area. Weighing about 450 pounds somewhere in there. This dude is just, he has built like a small house.

I can take him. The problem is with Kragar out of the way, the common knowledge would dictate that he would probably make a run for that throne at some point. So is it dishonorable if we, not Cava, but we assassinate these people in the night? Intensely. Oh yeah, intensely. Is anyone, like if we assassinate the challengers, then the people who would challenge because it's dishonorable would be dead. Yes, but you risk the city rising up as one and destroying you. We killed the whole city tonight, guys. Because their entire society is based on open challenge, like that's their law, essentially.

Even people accused of crimes or something like that, they get to defend themselves in court. And by that I mean in combat. So yeah, that would be common knowledge that Baalsk would be, he would probably have some sort of intention on running the place, or at least could if he wanted to. Or could take a run at it. So Cava streetwise would tell her that the guy pretty much sticks to himself, he doesn't speak an awful lot. And he has volunteered many, many times to leave the city and go out and lead campaigns that the Dragonborn were involved in. Specifically, marching through Winterhaven and then trying to take the Overwatch.

He was an instrumental figure in that, actually. So yeah, the guy likes to fight. So what I just took from that is, the guy sticks by himself, so if he challenges it'll probably be a one on one. That is a reasonable conclusion to jump to, yes. Yay. I would try and make him an ally rather than a challenger because he seems like... I was just thinking that too. He seems like he's a kind of cool guy. So it's better to have him by your side than kill him. Because you can be like, "Dude, you saw how fast I finished off your brother, do you really think I couldn't just do that to you?" It's better, you'll fight a lot more in your life if you don't try and fight me.

Right. Although maybe don't really think like that. Because I was thinking if he's one of the stronger Dragonborn, if we were to go to him and say, "You are a prime example of what I want the Dragonborn to be, and I would hate to take you down, brah." Maybe he thinks Kava's cute, you guys can be a power couple. I do gotta say, do you guys really think we can get through a single conversation without pissing him off? Because look what we've been doing to Worm for the last 20 minutes. If he doesn't sound like fucking Wernall, I think we don't. I guarantee you he does not sound like Wernall.

I don't think anything in the world sounds like fucking Wernall. It's gonna be darn odd. There's maybe a fart being squeezed through a fucking pudding bowl or some shit. How do you squeeze a fart through a pudding bowl? You know, if anyone could do it, fucking Wernall can, okay? That's the point I'm making. If he doesn't sound sneaky or sneaky, he just hisses. And the thing I always picture at the end of certain sentences, his tongue is like... Everyone just kind of pops out and does this like a party favor or something. He can't smell, he has to use his nose.

Maybe that's why he can't smell his breath. His tongue has just been in his mouth for too long. Okay, Jason, would I be able to roll something to see if there's anything else worth checking out in the city? A streetwise check would probably get you where you need to go. Yeah, go ahead. Whatcha? What the frick is with my rolls tonight, man? I rolled a 1, okay? That's okay, you're right. I'm sorry. So, Wernall is escorting you around and people are thoroughly disgusted with him. He has given up pretty much everything to save his own life. And as he's taking you around, he's showing you where the children are being trained.

So you see a fairly large clutch of children, like 40 or 50 of them, being instructed on how to wield weapons and everything. So you see, you know, they're kind of like there's a range of them, like between 10 to 12, somewhere in there. And a lot of them are being trained on how to use halberds and axes and swords, things like that. And they're very much in open combat with each other. And even though it's a little clumsy and a little, you know, disorganized, you can see that they could probably take some humans already. I mean, they're just, they're bred from birth to do this.

So he's taken you all around these different places and everything, and he's shown you where the women have been kept this entire time. Because Haskin segregated them from the rest of the clan and kept them pretty much in the center of the city. So the surrounding buildings, if you want to call them that, predominantly have women in them. Ugh. That's gross. But okay. If you guys move along, Nem's gonna stay there. She wants to talk to some of these bitches. Go for it. Yeah, I'll chill with Nem actually, I want to hear that shit. Yeah. We have some stuff to discuss.

We're just gonna get some beautiful feminist lectures. You're probably gonna tell them anything they don't know. This is what is known as a microaggression, guys. Anyway, yeah, we're gonna stay back here. You guys go ahead. Okay, well we'll catch up with that in just a minute. So, okay. Cava has pretty much seen what there is to see. So either we can catch up with Nem and Calith, or you can go and talk to Bausk if you wanted to. What do you guys, Travis and Sonia, what do you guys think? Do you want to go do that now? I was thinking that it would be something we could do for the feast.

Ooh, okay. 'Cause I said all Dragon Board would attend. Yes. So he'll be there. Maybe give him the honor of sitting at the head table. Like, make him, you know, get the leg up on getting off the good side. Yeah, that's a good idea. Tom, what were you gonna say? Oh, I was just gonna say I don't think it's a good idea to split up the party going up against the 7'6" 400-pound Dragonborn. He might, you know, fight my breakout mode. Yeah, he can't challenge us until tomorrow. That doesn't mean he can't fight us. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, Sonia. Okay, so I think we will probably wait to do that until the feast, but I am gonna tell Wernall that, uh, I'm gonna say, Wernall, now that you've told me this, I'd like to have him at the head table seated next to me.

Is that doable? I could go inform him right now, your majesty. Good dude. She'll give him a pat on the back like, "Good job, kiddo." But sort of like, "I don't really want to touch you." It's like a forced affection type of thing. And then she'll pull out a cigar and start puffing away and just continue to walk through the Dragonborn community. So Wernall, Wernall is going to take his leave. He's going to kind of scamper off, hunched over head down, and he's gonna go looking for Baalsk and tell him that he is wanted at the head table of this feast. Just go be gross somewhere else.

Go be gross at something. Alright. Um, so, Nem and Cailleth, there are several, again, several buildings pretty much dedicated to the housing of women. Now that doesn't mean that they are, um, I don't want to paint a slave Leia thing where they're just all laying around in gold bikinis and shit all day, but... You did give them breasts. Um, no. Wizards of the Coast gave them breasts. And on the third day, Carrie the illustrator gave us the Dragonborn women breasticles. Bless you, Gary. Scaly sweater puppets. There's a big ol' furry community out there that I'm sure would...

This is the second night in a row where reptilian breasts have come up. Scaly dreak tits. You missed a fun party last night, Izzy, is what we're saying. I know, I'm so bummed. We had a good time. Especially because you weren't there. Aw. Okay, I will be honest, I didn't have much of a plan beyond, like, I just want to ask them what the fuck is going on and why they are segregated, because that's fucking weird. Um, so I guess I'll just look around and see what they're doing. Well, right now, a lot of them are working together with a lot of the male Dragonborn to get this feast ready.

But, aside from that, it's pretty much the same thing the men do. Either they're fucking around with weapons, sharpening them, training, that kind of thing. I mean, they're not doing anything that the men don't do. Specifically now that Haskins dead. That was something that they lobbied for right away. One of Kraygar's, you know, think of it as an election where the candidates fight to the death. I have a question, like, serious one. Sure. Do Dragonborns have relationships, and if so, why was nobody mad that Haskins took their girl? Yeah. Oh, they were absolutely, you know, I mean, yeah, they're furious.

Some of them, yeah. There's probably some really cute, like, Romeo and Juliet Dragonborn shit going on. It's not, they don't have, like, husbands and wives and things like that, but they, I mean, you, they do have relationships with each other. You are kind of tied to someone. Like, there's obviously, like, you are together with someone. They're actually fairly monogamous. So they have, like, mates. Yeah. But the leader of the Dragonborn is the leader of the Dragonborn. And, yeah, Haskin ruffled a lot of feathers with that policy. Okay. If the women aren't actually segregated, then there was really no reason for me to stand back, stay back.

So we can, yeah, I mean, again, it's more, one of Kraggar's things was a return to, you know, like, just, it's like, okay, let's knock that shit off and let's, you know, but, yeah, for years and years, that was, that was pretty much the, the, the, they were, they were kept away from the rest of the, the rest of the clan. That was pretty much their thing. Is there any, like, just, just walking around doing their thing? Can we, like, go ask them about that? Sure. If you want. Yeah, there's, so let's say you just grab the nearest, the nearest person. It's you.

Just grab. Grab by the weird Dragonborn titty and pull him over. Grab him by the double ring. Stick your head in. Your young feed from this? They have fangs. What is wrong with you? Yeah, just, just, just find, like, the nearest one. Be like, hey, can we talk to you? Have you heard the good news? Instantly. So you're, you're, you're going to grab her and she's, so everyone just watched what happened. And you're still kind of covered in blood. And she's gonna, she's gonna take a knee here after you pull her aside because you are with Cabba, like you're, you're with her.

So there's kind of some, yeah, there's, there's like, oh shit. And she's gonna, she's gonna drop down to one knee. I feel like I should empower her, but sometimes I feel like good about that. Yeah, like damn straight now. Okay. Now kneel to no man. Women, however. There's a hierarchy and I'm on top. Literally. Sex joke. I think we need a couple more of those because this DRP has been pretty, pretty sparse. Brie, do you maybe want to ask this Dragonborn lady some stuff because my face is numb. Okay, so we got this Dragonborn lady. She's on her knees. Just how I like them.

So she's just going to kind of like lean down and touch her elbow and like get her to stand back up like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're awesome, but continue. And then she'll just ask like, hey, what's with the female quarters? What's that bullshit? So she's gonna stand up. And again, much taller than them or Kayleth. And she's she's gonna kind of cock her head like, you don't know like that's not that's that that's been going on for a while but You see Stales? Come on. I take it you don't know much about the Dragonborn community. Oh god I thought Dragonborn ladies had sexier voices.

We just looked at a lot of pictures that skewed our perspective, a little bit. I'm basing that on the only Dragonborn women's voice you've ever heard because then I feel like, yeah, maybe I thought Kava was like the Wernall of the Dragonborn. At least she doesn't sound as skeevy as Wernall. So Kayleth is gonna say, no, we are quite new to this community. We just want to know the history of this sordid affair. That was Heskyn's work. He decided that he wanted to keep a majority of us for himself. Ugh. Yeah, Kayleth will look visibly disgusted like, did you have mates that you had to leave?

Some of us did, yes. That was many years ago though. Many of them were killed. Dear god. Killed how? Assassinated mostly. Any of them that stood up to Heskyn as a result of what he did. Many had their throats slit or simply tossed off the mountain. Aren't assassinations pretty heinously dishonorable to your culture? If people find out about them, yes. Why did no one challenge him sooner? As much as many Dragonborn here would hate to admit it, Heskyn was quite the accomplished fighter. In one-on-one combat, he quite simply could not be beaten. Not until the group came.

Tell us about the group. Playing dumb here. A weaker Dragonborn that had been cast out many years ago. Heskyn had wronged him and murdered his family. The Dragonborn decided to challenge him and in one-on-one combat, this sickly Dragonborn was bested. He had a group though and the furry minotaur friend of his ended up murdering Heskyn. It was quite uncommon. The city almost destroyed the group on the spot, but Kerrek spoke up for them and allowed them to leave. So what do you guys need? She's trying to be a good leader, but she has no idea how, so she's like, "What do you want?" "What do you mean, what do we need?" "What do you ladies, like mostly ladies, because I don't really care about men." "What do you want from the community, all that bullshit, like from your leader?" And she's kind of giving this, again, kind of cocking her head like, "Huh, you are unplugged from what is happening in this community." And it's a little troubling because technically, again, Cabba is in charge, but you have a direct pipeline?

So that's a little troubling. We don't believe in the distinction. There should be no difference. We wish to no longer be segregated, but Kraggar all but abolished that. And why are there still separate quarters for the women? Because it's been less than a week. Okay, fair enough. Takes a while to move. What, there's six rocks? Hey, they're heavy rocks. They have weapons and shit. There's a lot of beer and pizza. We'll help each other out. Hey bro, you have a truck, right? Come help me move my rocks. I gotta get my shit across this bridge and over to the other side of town.

Could you help? I mean, I don't really want to pay him reparations or any shit, so... I guess maybe we should ask who's their top female representative. Because they had to have a wife, or some main wife, first wife or whatever. Heskyn was a Mormon. Sounds like you had like 900 first wives. So I guess we'll just ask, who was Heskyn's queen? For lack of a better word. Heskyn showed no favor to any one of us specifically. Although I took it upon myself to speak for the group when no one else would stand against him. There were times when he would overstep. That time wasn't when he said that every single woman had to have his kids?

Okay. Why didn't they rebel? Why didn't all the women in unison be like, "Hey, we're just gonna team together and fucking kill you." It's the same reason the men didn't. I feel like they had him in a more vulnerable spot at least once. Like he's assassinating their boyfriends? Like, come on. Yeah, I mean, part of it is a respect thing. Like, well look, you bested us in combat. Therefore you are our leader. It isn't so much about what you do as leader. It's how you got there. You earned the job. So you get to lead us in any way you see fit. He gets to shape the community.

He didn't get voted into power. He took it. Okay, so what you're saying is that maintaining political office as long as you're strong should be pretty fucking easy. We don't have to worry about this political bullshit. Kind of. Cool. All right. What's her name? Her name is Zarin. Zarin. I don't think she told us that to be fair. I don't think I forgot the name. No, no, she didn't. Okay, so what is your name? Remember Zarin? I am Zarin. All right, well, if you should change your mind and decide that you need anything, you can come talk to us. And she's gonna sort of bow her head.

Cool. That was pretty useless. Onward. Yeah, we didn't help at all. Cool, let's go find the feast. So, some time is gonna pass, and they're gonna get this feast set up, and it's, yeah, again, this is middle of the night, may I remind you. So they got torches going, they got this big bonfire type of thing going on in the center of this pit. So the place is lit up, and, I mean, as moods go in the Dragonborn community, this is kind of a cause for celebration. I mean, in a weird way. Every time they get a new leader, it's kind of benefit of the doubt. It's like, well, we're gonna give you, I mean, as long as you're alive and can survive and everything, we're gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and see what you do. 'Cause you can't be worse than Haskin in terms of how you treat us, but at the same time, Haskin made some choices that did have the Dragonborn appear to be tougher to the outside world.

So, you got the head table here, and at the head table you got Wernall, who is proudly, before you guys take a seat, he is going to approach the chair that would be right next to Cabba. So they got, they have this huge feast, so they have all kinds of stuff here like chicken and boar predominantly, because that is something they actually raise up here. So that is, you get this long table laid out, and that would be the head table. And then they have all these other kind of satellite tables kind of spread out around the pit here. And people are, the Dragonborn are taking their seats and everything.

Is there any type of liquor? Oh yeah, the Dragonborn drink, yeah. So there's ale and different things like that. So, okay, let's ask a question here. Okay. Are you kind of making an entrance? Is this a thing where you're just showing up with everyone else? Are you waiting to be announced in some fashion? Maybe not announced, but you know, Cabba would definitely make an entrance, pound through the doors and take her seat at the head table. Okay, so as soon as, as soon as Wernall sees Cabba, he's going to stand up and just sort of like kind of slink just a little bit off to the side and pull the pull the head chair out here and and offer it to Cabba.

She'll take it and sit down and immediately grab for her, her ale. And, and then Wernall's gonna get ready and sit down next to Cabba here. Nem's going to approach that seat that he just took and go, and gesture for him to move to the next seat over. And he's gonna, he's gonna lean over to Nem. Traditionally, this is where the advisor would sit. Did the queen say that? She's gonna look over at Cabba like, come on, man. And Wernall is gonna look over to Cabba too like, can you believe this shit? Like, we're both giving that look. Cabba's just gonna, she's gonna have her, is it, it's Taggard, right?

Like a veil? Is that what it's called? Tankard. Tankard, thank you. I don't know why that word was escaping me. She's just gonna like have it up, like to her face and just sort of grunt and like turn away. Jamie, come on. Wow, she's just, wow. I went immediate to sister. I was like, really, Jamie? I will dominate this fucker if he doesn't move. Wernall's gonna be pretty satisfied at that. Just kind of a, just kind of a grunt to himself. And then he's gonna get ready and try to sit. Probably doesn't have much of a will. His will is probably like five. Yeah, his will is not.

He licked a boot. Dude, just have him sit on the floor and lick your boot the entire dinner. Seriously, put him on the field. Well, just go ahead and roll and I'll let you know if it hits. Okay. So I don't have to set up a whole map and do a whole thing. 24? Yeah, that'll hit his will. Yes! Sorry. You're a dominated. Okay, what are you gonna have him do? Oh man, this is too much power. This is awesome! I'm going to make him loudly apologize and move to the next seat to move and move to like almost the end of the table because there's got to be enough room for me, for the rest of the group, and then also for VB.

Whose name I forgot so I'm calling her VB now. Let's see what the fuck is that? I decided that's a thing that Nem does now because I can't remember any names. Everyone gets a nickname. Should we say Karen or something? Karen? Karen. No. No, it starts with a B. That's why I said B. Karen. From accounting. Zara? Vera? Zara? vessel? Zarin. Zarin. ZZ, get over here. ZZ? Have, have, have what's his fuck, Wormtongue go down and like, and like loudly, ingratiatingly invite her to the front of the table. Good. That. So you're going to see him try to fight this. To the point where his head is kind of vibrating, just shaking.

But you get fucker. And his neck is going to like keep stretching out like he's just like trying to like gritting his teeth every once in a while just trying to fight this. But you have him, you have him pretty well dominated here. So he is going to stand up and move away from this spot and then gesture towards it. I. Apologize. Like he is like he is fighting it. But yeah, he is. And he is going to excuse himself and move away from from the area and go far to the end of this table. And he's going to invite ZZ up. Yeah. Hey, Jason. Yes. Can I do a perception roll to see like what the rest of the Dragonborn are doing specifically looking for Bausk?

Sure, please do. Alright, we're here for a reason. I forgot. What the fuck, man? That was not the most perceptive. It's not true. She's on a winner's high right now. She's not really paying much attention. Yeah. So, Kupa's looking around and a lot of these a lot of these Dragonborn have sat down and started to eat and drink. Kind of kind of loud because they're a loud group. But you're not seeing anybody that fits Bausk's description because he would stand out in a crowd, even even in the Dragonborn. So either he isn't here yet or he's hiding somehow. Okay, well, I guess if everybody's like cheering and eating and drinking, Kupa will just stand up very quickly and look at the group with like a really satisfied look on her face and then sort of scream out while holding her drink up to victory.

And then she'll just down down the whole thing. They're gonna they're they're gonna get really loud. Just rawr. So sarcastic. All of them eye roll. Yeah. Oh yeah. The victory. We never heard that one before. Dragonborns are cocks, guys. And shortly after the toast. Do me a favor roll another perception. It's a group. Oh, okay. Oh, fuck yeah. It's better. I see y'all. No, Sonya sees all. She goes. Sonya. That's true. I see most. I see most. Let's see here. Boop, boop, boop. Everyone except Calith. Yeah. Fuck around with Tim. I'm trying to get into the panel steps of my ale.

Oh, you're making them a tiny little cup out of papers. Holding my napkin. I like that you think the Dragonborn use napkins. She brings her own fucking napkin. She's a classy lady. So everyone except Calith is going to start to hear a noise. And that is the rattling of plate armor. And from the back, this kind of expanse where you see that everyone's kind of seated. You're going to see what appears to be. The best way to describe it is. A Dragonborn wall. Approaching from from the rear here. And from what you've heard about this individual that that that fits the description of Bausch.

Head kind of low, eyes narrowed directly at Cabba. He's going to make his way to the head table and the way it's positioned is lengthways. So Cabba would be sitting on one side of it and Bausch would be approaching from the opposite side. And the way this set up is so that think think The Last Supper, something like that, where everyone's on one side of it. And that's because it's set up so that Cabba can look out onto everybody. And Bausch is going to approach this table and everyone's going to go dead silent. Like they're going to stop eating and all eyes are kind of on this guy.

Because from what you've heard, he doesn't really mingle with anyone. He doesn't. He's not very sociable. Kind of keeps to himself. Cabba will stand as soon as he approaches. OK. And yeah, he is. Yeah, this guy is pretty fucking imposing. And he is going to walk up to this table and not say a word at first. And Wernell is going to scamper from his position at the far end of the table. He's still dominated. He is still dominated. Unless you're going to stop him from doing that. I'll let him run like a little bitch, but if we get into a fight, I just use my daily to dominate him and I will use it.

He will be my meat shield. I don't give a fuck. It doesn't last forever, by the way. It's not. It's save ends. Yeah. So if we dig into a fight, he'd probably get he'd get to save before his turn to to be fair. So he is so Wernell is going to approach Cabba and just sort of just whisper. That would be Bausch. Thanks. Kind of doing his job. Just just. So she's standing at this point. And she's going to to smile at Balsk and say, the mighty Balsk you were requested at the table. And again, no words, just just sort of staring ahead at you and you can tell he's sizing you up.

He is he's just sort of looking you up and down, kind of. There's an expression on his face that isn't. It is it's it's it's it's anger, but it's mixed with something else. It's not it's more. OK, how did you how did you beat my brother, firstly, but not not like there was a really strong attachment to his brother, more just like, huh? How did you do that? That type of thing. Right. And again, no one speaking, everyone's just sort of watching there. They're kind of waiting to see what he's going to do and what you're going to do. Like, how is this how is this going to be done?

Because everybody in the community kind of knows this dude would be the next in line if if someone wanted to make a challenge. Right. And Kava knows that, too. So she's just going to seem very confident and say, please have a seat. Gesturing at the at the seat next to hers. So after after a few seconds, again, just just sort of an eerie, just just staring a hole through Kava. He's going to walk around. He's going to walk around the table sort of stomping the entire way, which he kind of has no choice but to do because he's built like a small tank. So he is going to move around the table and then slowly but surely he's going to sit down next to Kava.

Again, not a word spoken. Can he not talk like it's or is it by choice? I was going to say, if he had like his tongue cut out, then, you know, that's why I would keep trying to talk. Yeah, to be fair, I crit on knowing him. So if he had his tongue cut out, I know. No, you haven't heard any stories like that. How great would it be of his voice? Just like, hi, guys. It's got that Tyson-esque voice. No, he has the toad voice from Gamegrounds. I'm Dask! Fear me! I'm Toad! His whole body is kind of shaped like a dick, though. All right. OK, as soon as he sits down, Kava is going to look towards the giant swarm of dragonborn who are all silent and just like sort of gesture to them to continue about your business.

Like, this ain't none of yours. And she'll sit next to him. They're going to go back to what they're doing and just eating. But you could tell that everyone's kind of side-eyeing this situation like, all right, I thought someone was going to stab someone, but all right. And then, you know, it's sort of is he biding his time? Is he waiting to the next day or later in the week? What is he doing? Like, why, you know, why did you invite someone who would be your next biggest rival to sit right next to you? Like, that's that's kind of like a ballsy play. And at the same time, is she is that is that balls or is she just really stupid?

It's all balls, man. Freaking hanging to the floor. She is that old. That's what I was imagining earlier, guys. Tits to the floor? Yeah. Just imagine Kama saying something like, my balls are so big, my nipples touch them. And then like, there's a pause and she's like, because my nipples are on the floor too. Okay, so she's seated next to Balsk and she's going to say, "Werner, a tankard of ale for my friend here." And Werner will scamper off and get get that get that for Balsk. So after a couple of seconds, he's going to he's going to run and get that. And he's going to he's going to approach Balsk from the rear here and lean over to set it down in front of him.

And Balsk's enormous hand is going to reach up and just sort of snatch this away from Werner before he can set it down. And he's going to glance back at him like, get the fuck away from me. Guys, guys, votes. Should I get Wernold to kiss him softly on the forehead? Yes. I could make this joke so wrong. Then to lick his boots. May I also suck your dicks? I'll wrap my creepy tongue around it. Just make him go in his ear and go like. I'm so tempted. Would you like to do that? It's in character. This situation is tense enough that I think even Nem would know not to fuck shit up.

But I'm really tempted. Really don't like Wernold. Yeah, but like, he'll know it was me. No, he showed up late. He doesn't know you did that to him. No, you're giving her reasons to do it. You are. Do it. Do it. This is fucking DRP. So we're here to do. No, I mean, I'm going to hold it. It'll be in the cards, though, if we need it. When did you get lame? Ever since you went to school. You should just straight up ask him like, hey, you gonna fucking challenge me? Like, yeah. Yeah, really chill. Like, he'll appreciate it. You think so? I was kind of do this like ego stroke thing.

And then my big thing was because he was supposed to be like, he's the second choice, you know? So that missed me in that. I don't know. I think if you treat him like a bro, like instead of being like stroke his ego, because that could be seen as like the time they are with pride and all that shit. But if you treat him like a bro, like an equal, like an equal, you know, just being like, hey. Yeah. Like, are you gonna fight me? Because we can fight. You look pretty cool. Let's do it. But not, oh, you're such a great fighter. Yeah. Yeah, because that makes you look weak.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Makes you look like you have some sort of need to protect yourself by like, you know, building other people up. Very wormy. Mm hmm. OK. All right. Offering worm is like a as a lady bride, though. You might like it. He's a really weak will. I think I could keep him dominated for a while. Take this as your first wife. Just put him in a little bridal outfit. He shall be your sissy boy. Like his head's vibrating through the entire ceremony. The veil is just every bit of him wants to say no. If anyone has any objections. OK, well, I guess Kava would would look over at Valsk and just simply say, where it is.

You're after the throne. And she'll just calmly take another sip. For real. He is. He's also going to take a drink. Somebody's a drinking contest. Go. Chug, chug. Not doesn't make eye contact with Kava. I haven't decided yet. Is he Valsk? No, but very, very, very like gruff, whispery, like not. You can say voice actor. Yeah, you can tell they've done the same kind of stuff. And very like, again, there's a measure of anger in his voice, but you're not exactly sure if it's directed at you yet. Well, I've decided. Can I ask what state is your decision? And he's going to put his he's going to put his tankard down and look right at Kava.

Why don't you tell me what you're doing here? OK. I just imagined that voice coming off Kava. It was fucking terrifying. It's like the most terrifying grandmother ever. Like, OK, have some cookies and then I'll fucking murder you. That's how I'm going to be when I'm a grandmother, so I don't see what's the problem there. What are you doing here? Well, I have an idea, but I don't know how much I want to reveal. You can just say Dragonborn were weak. If there's a pause, he would elaborate. OK. Pause. There was a pause. OK, I'm just asking if that if you're, you know.

So he would ask, you know, why don't you tell me what you're doing here? And then when there's a pause, you don't live here. You're not tied to things here. Why come back? Why now? So she'll look him dead in the eye and say, isn't it obvious? And look around at everyone celebrating and cheering for her victory and sort of like gesture so that he also is looking around, too. And she'll she'll bring this down to a little bit of a whisper so that it's just to him. And she goes and she'll say the Dragonborn have become weak. We're fighting in wars that are not our own.

What happened to the Dragonborn that would raid cities and spill blood with no mercy? I'm here to bring that back. The Dragonborn need to be reborn. I feel like I sound like Batman. I'm the one this city needs. Honestly, I've never. I said I was out of whisper. Yeah. No, I. It's a call of a whisper. No, I would say that that's that's between these two. Fair enough. Might not be on board of the killing everyone plan. Just saying. We didn't discuss that with the rest of us. We're here to murder everything, right? Can I make an amendment and Travis? OK, carry on. I am also here.

Yeah, he's going to he's going to take this in and then look, look, look over all the Dragonborn eating. And then again, kind of whispering. But as much as these two could possibly whisper. They're pathetic. But tell me. What makes you more capable of leading them than me? She ran a brothel for like 80 fucking years into the ground. No need to mention that. That doesn't need to get that it's fine. She'll sort of smirk at this and say. I can see strength where there lies strength. I've heard much about you. I'd like to see us as companions and not foes. So if you do decide to challenge me.

I will take you down. Do me a favor. Roll perception check. Finally. Oh, there you go. This was when you wanted high. So he's he's going to he's going to take this in. And just just kind of give a low grumble after. After after you say all this. All right. I'll give you a chance. A chance to live up to all that you're promising. But. If you disappoint. Like our last few leaders. I will crush your chest with my foot. And then I'll throw you off this mountain. Is that clear? She'll sort of break eye contact to drink out to drink some more ale. And she'll say. I could not disappoint with you by my side.

Hey, Jason. Did he ever have any position of authority or was he just like a hardcore soldier? If if he was leading people. Yes, but only outside of the city. He was never given one. He was never in a position of power in the city. And most of that was because the the leaders at the time wanted to keep him as far away from them as possible. And in turn, he is, as you just found out, pretty disgusted with the state of the Dragonborn. And that's why he sequesters himself away from them. OK, so really quick time out. Huddle up, guys. Cool, cool. All right, everybody get in.

So here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking it would be really awesome to have this badass motherfucking Dragonborn as like the commander of our army. Smart thoughts. Agreed. Yeah. He's already has battle for your experience, you know. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Right there. And then I'm going to sleep with him. Right. Right. Yeah, totally. We are going to have so many like sack gelatin. So many sack babies. You guys ever had those like those little they're like tiny little cups of jello you buy from Asian supermarkets. Yeah. Gross. Oh. OK. And she's going to look back towards him and say, I'm going to need a fearless leader to command the armies of the Dragonborn.

Would that interest you? And he's he's going to look back over them. Someone needs to whip these pussies into shape. Unlike mine. Sorry. It's old and it's all sloppy prolapsed. No, it's fine. I was being a character. I know too much dragon born vagina in this episode. Just just finally the right and right. Finally, we got there. I was getting the answers we need. Yeah. None of the ones we wanted. The content in our deserves. How's that fanfiction coming, guys? I'm sure you started already. He's going to he's going to lean in. Again, I'll be keeping my eye on you.

But for now, it sounds like you and I want the same thing. And he's going to reach his hand out to shake covers. She will shake aggressively. Do me a favor, roll a strength check. I don't know how to do that, Jason. Never mind, then you just grab the strength and you drag it over like this. Grab like which box? That's not it at all. The check one. All right. Can I shake his hand? Oh, I took all your points. Twenty isn't bad. Pretty great, actually. Yeah. She did have a fight today. Yeah. And you're kind of drunk. That's true. OK. You stronger? Yes. Yeah, that's a very respectable handshake.

And that's what I was looking for. That's that's that's his kind of first impression of you, like physically. Like, what could you that's kind of like sizing you up a little bit. Like, OK, let's see. OK. But yeah, that's really respectable as a handshake. Guys, I think that's a pretty good time for us to wrap things up for the night. That was fun. Yeah. I think I say I think we saved our asses for another day, guys. Yeah. Good job, Jamie.