Where Everyone Knows Your Name

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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It's a really cool product by a really cool bunch of people and we urge you to check them out. - Hi, my name's Justin Massey. I play Dyrthag on group one of Dungeons & Randomness. I appreciate you listening, if you could stop by Patreon. We have a account set up at patreon.com/dandr. You could donate some money, takes out every month, it helps us out, keep the lights on. Thank you very much, enjoy the show. - Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Delmar.

- Oh, hey, I'm Delmar and I'm playing (clears throat) (speaking foreign language) - Yeah, we're never gonna get that right. - That's not gonna stick, no. - Good luck. - That's not gonna stick. (laughing) - Uh, Rob. - Hey, I'm Robert Wiesman, I play Malchus Grimnus, Tiefling Warlock. - And Tom. - Hey everybody, I'm Tom and I play Yanwert, a minotaur fighter. - And Dan. - Hi, I'm Dan Phelps, I play Duncan Joy Batam, Dwarven Bard. - And Kelsey. - Hey, I'm Kelsey, I play Diana Astaroth, Tiefling Mage. - And Justin. - Hi, I play Darnfag and uh, sorry. - No, you can't use that, you can't do that, man.

- I play Durrthag, Durrthag the Barbarian Orc. - Dude. - Tell me what to do. - You said something different in the intro than you said. (laughing) - Orc, orc, orc, orc, orc. - Okay, canonically, how the fuck do you pronounce your character's name? - Durrthag. - Right, how it's spelled. - I just said that as a joke, as a joke, all right? We're all friends here, we all have jokes. - Look, I think Justin needs some props for masterfully playing Durrthag's illiteracy, okay? Like he's just, he's selling it 110%. - He's a method actor. - Durrtag. - He's a Maytag. - Dartboard.

(laughing) - Okay, we're off to a good start. - It's getting a real group one in here, you guys. - Yeah. - I can't be laughing after playing it again. - She can laugh once in a while. - Previously, previously on the show, 'cause it's been a while, you guys made it to Brightport. You have, let's say bartered with Graddock. Yennberg was gonna go a little violent. Tessie ended up speaking up for him and she, you know, she did give you guys sort of free run of the play. She gave you some free items. They have already been equipped on your characters. So you are all set.

What would you guys like to do here? What would you, what's the next step for group one? What would you like to do? - I would like to read my book. - Okay. - So we're still in the town, right? - Still in Brightport right now. This is just something that's going to take time. There's really no code to crack or anything like that. This is pretty much a journal that, a journal that was kept by Thermak that was pretty much a ledger of every, every bit, all the dealings he had in town. So he sort of treated people like a commodity, something to be bartered, you know, for or against, or, you know, something people could be bought, whether it be through influence or, you know, threats or money.

So this is just going to take Diana a while, but yeah, there's no real role. - Okay. While Diana is doing that, so I'm imagining you are just held up in town. You're, you're staying at an inn or what would you, what would you guys like to do? - Thought we would stay at house dragon's keep. - That is an option. - If they'd let us. Yeah, I thought that was what we would do. - Yeah, Tessie is pretty cool. Cause I mean, you're, you're working with us. - I thought she said last time that I don't remember. - Mom's great with sleepovers guys. It's going to be great.

- I mean, they have a entire mansion full of empty rooms. - Oh, that doesn't mean you get to stay there. - I know, I know. But like, I just say, like, it's not like they're strapped for space. So that's another reason why we would be able to do that. - Well, the place really opened up after the previous tenants were murdered. - What has happened? - What has happened? - Oh my God. - Murder. - Do, does, I know the, they have like the old graveyard, but does, do you guys have a back garden or like, you know, an outside area that's still the property? - Oh yeah.

- Porch perhaps? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The backyard. Okay, well there's really no backyard. What, the way the house is structured, there is this huge basement area that normally houses a dragon. And that empties out onto this, this huge back alley that is seldom used because of the dragon. The dragon sort of backs out into the street and then takes off from the city. So people have sort of just avoided that area out of fear. No amount of Tessia trying to explain to everyone, that's like, oh no, she's not going to hurt you. It doesn't matter, it's a dragon.

Now the sides of the house, the side in front of the house are much more open. If you're facing the front porch, the right hand portion of the house, this huge yard used to be a graveyard. They're in the process now of sort of removing all of that. For the most part, there are no more graves there. They've relocated a lot of caskets. Some of them. - Okay, sorry. - No, no, no. Some of them were just sort of open holes that bodies were dumped into. - So is this just something that we know, like our characters know this or? - Some of that you found out through checks last time.

So yeah, you know that the place has gone through a massive restructuring, both physically, they're redoing the house. It was a lot more gloomy, a lot more, just less pleasant. And then management wise, Tessia took over and they are really no longer, they have magical dealings. They still do some of the stuff. Herb trade is a huge thing for House Dragonkeep 'cause that was a way that Dark Spane made their money. So you know that they're slowly reorganizing things and Tessia is trying to use some of this power in the house to do good instead of just accumulate more power.

- I asked, sorry, because I just wanted somewhere that I'd be able to train because they said no weapons in the house. - Ah, well, that was mostly, that was, okay. That was mostly just for that situation. Like once they know that you're not there to hurt anybody, you can walk through with your weapons, but they don't want you to draw your weapons in the house. That's pretty much a hard and fast rule. But yeah, there's plenty of room outside to practice, yeah. - Cool. If Yenna wants to come outside and practice with me, that's something. - Oh my. - What time of day is it?

- This would be later afternoon. - Okay. - I'll go and practice with you. - Come on. - Okay, so do you want to do the thing where you're, I'm gonna try and pronounce your name again. (laughing) - Is-su-n. - Wow, no, completely wrong. - Well, fuck you. - It's too soon. - It's too soon. - It's too soon. - It's too soon. - You're one mispronunciation away from me and Chris. - At least I don't have to be they, okay, or them. - Well, okay, would Yenward like to go spar with Isuzu? - Isuzu. - I do drive an Isuzu. No, Justin wanted it, he can do it. - Okay, cool. - You can't just say I do drive an Isuzu.

Now, if that's associated with this character, that sounds very intimate. - Maybe it is. - I do, an Isuzu trooper, 2001, pretty good car. - So while they're doing that, would the Malkus and Yenward like to accompany Duncan and maybe go to a tavern or an inn? Hang out, not fight people? Okay. - I could catch up, sure. - So let's do this. - Go around the table. - Let's, yeah. - I'm Tom, I play Yenward. - I'm Justin, I play Darth Maul. - I'm Delmar, I play Toby. - Toby's a great name, you should totally be Toby. - Isus, - Isus. - Isusu. We're gonna have to come up with a nickname.

Like that's the only way this is gonna work. - Yeah, we can come up, you guys can come up with a nickname in game, that's fine. - That's what you get for being special, you. - We don't take kindly to snowflakes around here. - I like your mane, Susie. - Yeah, we do. - Everybody in this group's a fucking snowflake and we're all beautiful. - Okay, so. - The more you know. - Yenward and Isildur are gonna get ready and. - No, Darth Maul and Isildur are gonna get ready. - Oh yeah, that's right. - We can't pronounce each other's names. - Isildur. - This thought of itself.

- I love the mutual respect this cultivates. - Dude, I tried. - That's so true. - I just, they're gonna go outside and beat each other up and complain about how no one pronounces their name correctly. - Okay. - All right, milk cups and Dunkaroo are at the bar. - Milk cups and Dunkaroo. - I like that. - Oh man, Dunkaroos are really great. - I love everything. - Ah, I love Dunkaroos. Okay, let's focus up. Dirthag and Lion Guy are gonna get ready. And we're gonna spar a little bit. So if you guys would like to roll initiative, please. - Oh shit. - By the way, Justin, I'd be sitting outside, you know, cleaning off my weapons with a wet stone.

Cleaning, what am I saying? Sharpening my weapons with a wet stone. - Do you have a shot? - And then, you know, you come over, whatever. My initiative was 25. - How do you pronounce your name again? - I'm gonna slowly look over at you. Isunsu Nafei. And you are? - Isunsu, right? - That is close, I guess. - My name's Dirthag. - Dirthag, it is a pleasure to meet you. Would you like to spar with me? - Yeah, sure. That sounds like a great idea. - Okay, at this point, I'm gonna put the wet stone down. And then just like, I don't know, I don't know. How do we get into this?

Do we roll against one another? I don't know. - Oh, you're gonna play each other. - This is crazy, it's like my first date. - So can we die in this or no? - No, no, no, no, non-lethal, like cooling it now. Like it's not, I'm gonna rip the head off thing. - You wanna spar? Oh shit. - My hand. - Decapitation. - Okay, I'm gonna try this again and you're gonna laugh. And I'm gonna hate you a little bit more Delmar. Isun-sun. - Yeah, that was pretty close. - Okay, I don't see where I'm saying it differently than you are saying it, but okay. - This is- - You hear about it in the full groups, don't worry.

- No, I know. - Just a role play question for Justin. Would Isun-sun, is that good, is that close? - I don't get it. (laughing) - You sounded so fucking American, just said, am I pronounced your name right there? - Did I get it right? - I'm not in role play with you yet, so I don't have to. When I get in role play with you, I'll have to be very careful, but. No, would Dirthag understand that they're not supposed to kill each other? - No. - Okay, so- - Oh great. - And begin. (laughing) - Well, I imagine the orcs, they spar with each other and shit, they don't try to murder each other, right?

Jason? - Orcs don't really hold back. They, I mean, they'll kill each other over chicken, like we've discussed that before. Like they will just murder each other over chicken. - Yes. - Do they have a concept of sparring? - I mean- - Probably not, they just like don't die from everyone trying to kill each other, like- - Basically, if you're strong enough to live, okay, once you go down, usually they'll stop, 'cause it's just, that's the muscle flexing, like fuck you, I won. But if there's no, I mean, if you're still standing, then you can still fight, and some of them will just keep going until they die.

- Okay. - Would, is Stunstun, would he- (laughing) - I heard it, I heard it too. - Would he know enough about orcs that he would have, that he would say, hey, you know, we're not gonna kill each other, like- - Would I, Jason? - Yeah. - Oh, I was asking you about it. - Royal history. - Nice history. - You would have a pretty basic concept of orcs and how they work. They're pretty ultra violent, they, great fighters. - Stupid. - Yeah, not so swift in the intelligence area. So yeah, it may suit you well to say, we're not trying to murder each other, just kinda, yeah.

- Now, the other thing, listen, this is just practicing, okay? - Visibly, you can see him kinda like, just deflate a little bit, like he thought he was actually gonna be able to kill somebody. - All right, yeah, sure. - All right, Zoom Zoom, your turn. - I remember this commercial. - Oh my God. - Okay, I'll just use, I'll just start off pretty much basic. I'll use a melee basic attack. - 26, that will hit Dirthag. Dirthag, your turn. - Dirthag will choose Sundry Smash. - Yeah, that's, okay, 20 damage. This is gonna be fun to edit. - It's only five seconds, but in reality it's 20 minutes.

- SimCity, your turn. - SimCity, okay. - That is a crit miss. Dirthag. - Yeah, I'm gonna use Johnny Smash, and he's gonna try to hit Azuzu in the nose with the butt of his sword. - Azuzu, 28. - 20, Jesus, 28 will miss. - Jesus. - Yes, suck it. - Great, Jesus Lord, glaze on our side. - All right, seeing, okay, so I definitely judge him trying to smack me in the nose, and then I return with a flurry of attacks, and I'm gonna use, hold on, hold on, hold on. Here it comes. I was gonna use just Radiance on you. 26. I want my 26 though. That's some more bullshit right there.

- We can use a 26. - Yeah, he hit me. Got me good. - Totally hit. - All the damage, which is the first blood drop, right? 15 damage to Dirthag. - Very nice. - You know you can quit anytime you like, right? - Okay, that last hit kinda smarts a little bit. Where did it hit him at exactly? Like chest, arms, shit like that, just beat of him? - So it's basically a burst from me, and you take Radiance damage, well, you take Radiance, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're just like, you're slightly glowing an offbeat purple color, but you've kinda been blasted back, if that makes sense, but not physically moved.

- Okay, he's gonna be jarred for a second, start biting his lower lip, and his eyes are gonna just pop right open, really wide. He's gonna use Jarring Smash once more and just try to just cut at you. Ooh, 28 again. - Dodging that. - You don't dodge him anymore, all right? That's not fair. - Is this soon? - Very close. - Dude, I, okay. - Well, again, Mr. Bond. - Okay, if you're gonna run the snowflake name, you do not get to giggle when we mispronounce it. - Yeah, that's true. - It's just so funny though. It's so funny when you guys say it. It's hilarious to me, I'm sorry.

- You do not get to bring a name to the table with letters in the alphabet that don't appear on keyboards and then laugh at us. - Gotta hold the key down so it pops up on the interface. - Yeah, you gotta like hold Alt and tap a series of four numbers. - Yeah. - Go into Wingdings. - It's a Wingdink. (laughing) - What is he calling it? Death Egg. - Yes. - Yeah, Susan's gonna look at Death Egg and be like, I think you've had enough. - What is he down to, 20? 23? - Yeah, that's how much damage has been done to you. - Oh, that's not enough. - He's just gonna like drop back for a second and then center himself and like just start huffing.

Start breathing heavy. Like he's psyching himself up. - So you want the motor? - Not gonna say anything. - You're not targeting him. - Oh, God dammit. - Yes, finally. But we're gonna use your 31. - God dammit. - 16. - 16 damage to Death Egg. - Stupid lion. Keep hitting me all the time. - He's gonna look at Death Egg and say, actually he's gonna put up his hand and he's gonna put his sword back into its sheaf and just go back and sit back down. I just look at Death Egg and just give him that kind of, you did well, thumbs up. What you didn't think you did well at all.

- I'm gonna kick him in the chest. What do I do for that? What are we sitting down? - The Thoril. - He bounced off my chest to be honest. - I'm having flashbacks to Thoril and Una right now. (laughing) - He's sitting down. - I'm having flashbacks to Malthus and Ironhide. - That was a fight. Like this isn't a fight. - I hit him, all right. - You hit yourself. - That's true. But I also, technically I hit twice though in this match. - Okay, you wanna continue to attack is what you're saying? - Yeah. - Okay, and you wanna try and what, knock him down? Like just kick him?

He's sitting now, like he's going back to, so okay. Let's say that Isusun wants to, okay, he's disengaging. He put his sword away and he's just like, he's trying to walk away. You're trying to attack him. - Yeah, can I use it daily? - Yes. - Always falling rage, that's what I wanna use. Strength, it's if I hit him, then I knock him prone. If I don't, then it's just half damage. - Okay. - Okay. - Come on, you fucker hit him, 30. - That's a hit. - God damn it, yes. I win, again. - And a little damage on that. - Yeah, and the damage will have to be a 22. - 22 damage and so Isusun disengages and just says, okay, you put up a good fight.

Dirthag continues the attack and knocks him on his ass. - He's just gonna laugh, get back up and give him the same thumbs up and just sit back down and back to do what he was doing. He's done with this. - So, okay, he's gonna stand back up as his move action to end and just try and disengage. He's like, okay, that's cute and sit back down again. So how would Dirthag react to that? - At this point, he did more damage than Isusu. So he'll go to, I guess he'll just look at him disgustantly and just put his blade back. - I feel like nothing was solved. - Did you, are you done or are you still attacking?

- No, well, his blade's gone. He's gonna mumble quitter. - Dirthag, sit with me for a while, have a drink. - All right, yeah, drinker sounds good. We can tell each other stories from our homelands. - All right, he's gonna, after cleaning off his sword a bit, can I do a heal check or not a heal check, but can I use a, whatever, we'll just role play that and I'll just do the math afterwards. Let's go pick up some dirt and just like kind of rub it right into the wound. And he's gonna walk over to name and he's gonna say, okay, so what was it like where you came from?

- My home, it is a beautiful place, wide open fields and wonderful people. My home, I miss my home. What is it like where you are from? - It was mostly a large camp and one thing I mostly miss from is the hunting. - I too in hunting. - Maybe you and I, we're not so different, Darth Egg. Listen, I'm sorry I wiped the floor with you just then, but maybe in future you will pick your battles wiser. - I'm pretty sure I kick you to the ground. - When my back was turned, but who's judging, huh? - Not really enjoying that. I kind of want to get into a fight again.

(laughing) - Sit, have a drink with me. We don't need to fight all the time. We are comrades now. - All right, yeah, he's just gonna sit right next to him and start drinking. - Wow, I've almost got this then. I'll make a point of not drinking any kind of alcohol. Like I'll have a flask and just pour out some water. - He'll take a sip and spit right back out. Afterwards, he's gonna reach into his bag and grab his supply and start pouring. He's gonna pass you a glass also. - Okay, I'm gonna smell it. I'm just gonna shake my head and just dump it out and just continue drinking the water.

I'm gonna slap death on the back and say, "Don't worry, my brother. "This, I would much rather trust this than that." - He's gonna look at you like you're fucking crazy because that was pretty expensive. He's gonna down his. Is it okay? - 'Cause I kind of already assumed that he would have a splitter on him. Like just down the glass all in one gulp. Do I have to do a roll for that or just no? - You can roll an endurance check. - Yes. 20? - 20. - Natural 20. - That's not a natural 20. - Almost a click. I know my numbers. - Yeah, that's pretty good. You're gonna handle your alcohol pretty well.

- All right, yeah, he's gonna shake that off like, "Ooh, that's good." - So the rest of the party here, you guys said you're going to a bar, I think. - Except for Diana, yeah. - Except for Diana, she's reading. - I am reading alone like I do. - Well, okay, so are we gonna, if we could just go after they're done if they wanna come with us. - Well, then that would- - You guys kind of didn't invite us, so you know, whatever. - Yeah, I think you guys left. - Yeah, you guys left, I think. - Oh, okay. - Not just that, but that would also insinuate that you just stood there and watched them beat the shit out of each other and no one said anything.

(laughing) - I figured it was more like we were hanging out inside. But you know. - Okay. - You guys done? - Okay. (laughing) - Was that it? - Tessia makes great kettle corn, we watched. - Kettle corn. (laughing) She would be the type to make kettle corn. - Sat there and munched on it, watched them hit each other. - Nothing new. There's nothing. - Well, there's a bar called Safe Haven, which is relatively close to where you guys are. I would imagine that would be, there is a brothel. Yeah, I guess you guys do have a choice. You could hit up Safe Haven or you could hit up the Rusty Neville.

- Malkus? - You know the answer. - Okay. Sounds like we're going to Safe Haven. - Okay. - Both bars are sort of places of ill repute in that the nipple is a brothel straight up and they happen to serve alcohol. Safe Haven is much more of a bar for the lower quarter of Brightport. A lot of thugs hang out here, a lot of just poor people mostly. So you guys shouldn't really have a problem just because of who you are. You're pretty well armored, well equipped. And you're walking in with a fucking minotaur. Like you're going to be fine. - That hasn't stopped him before.

- Well, it depends on how racist they want to be. Racism isn't such a huge problem unless you're tiefling in Brightport. So yeah. - We do have a tiefling though. - You do. So yeah, that is literally part of Malkus' backstory. - I put my hood up. - Which hood? - That really hides your hair. - You put the hood on your horn stick out of it? - He has a tail, like it doesn't know. - They're like hold it up like I'm wearing a tent. Like it's just like- - Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, wait. When Malkus tries to be stealthy, this is canon now. He sprouts spikes over his body and flies along his damn back, which is the thing.

- Sure enough, sure enough. No, there wasn't any danger yet though, Kelsey. That's the difference. There has to be danger. When there's danger, I sneeze and it's just porcupine. (laughing) - He's a terrible hugger. I'm imagining you're just walking in, getting some drinks, sitting down. - Yeah. - All right, take me to a place, Jason. Like what's the mood of this place? - Safe Haven, again, you're gonna walk in and the setup is actually sort of quaint. If you hear stories about this place, then you're gonna, it's gonna paint a picture of this really poorly lit, crappy, kind of Mos Eisley type of place and it's really not.

You walk in and the place is a little more warm and charming than that. It's just the people inside kind of suck. There's plenty of booze, there's some food, but there's about a 50/50 chance of you walking in and getting into a fistfight at any time of day in this place. It's just that kind of place. A lot of sailors come here, pirates, merchants, and bounty hunters, actually. Think police raids because Brightport is such a crappy place, bounty hunters will come here to make easy money. A lot of people come to Brightport to hide because one, it's a huge city and you can kind of slip into the shadows and kind of go on scene.

Two, it's a place full of scumbags. So your odds are like one in 10 of finding somebody that somebody's looking for. So bounty hunters love coming here. A lot of bounty hunters die because of that, because it's a profession like adventuring. It's young people who it's like, I'm gonna go catch some bad guys. Bad guys have friends. So yeah, it's actually a really well lit, kind of charming place, aside from the people inside of it. - Malchus gives the bar once over and kind of huddles the N word and Duncan up and says, "Considering the fact that I'm kind of hunted, are you sure you want to be out here drinking with me?

We can just have something back at the house." - But look at all these nice people. We can make some friends. - Yeah, these people look fine. I don't mind if we, hey, I get in closer to Malchus and I go, "We got your back." And I point back and forth at me and N word. So. - Dude, look, it's gonna be fine. I want to clap the nearest person on the back. It's like, look, man, hey, this is our friend Malchus. Say hi, man. He's trying to make some friends. Do me a favor, roll perception. - Sure. - Okay. 13, okay. - Travis is much more perceptive than you, Jordan.

(laughing) - There's a relatively short bearded man dressed in all leather. And N word's gonna kind of clasp his giant meaty mitt around this dude's shoulder. And the guy's gonna reflexively jerk and spin around like he's gonna hit you. Because people are a little on edge here and there about physical contact. And then he's going to kind of gaze into the chest of the big furry minotaur. And then just kind of like crane his head upward and instantly changes. It's like, oh, hi. - Hi, like your coat. This is my friend Malchus. Would you like to have a drink with us?

- And he's gonna look over. He's gonna look over at Malchus. - Malchus's eyes by the way are just going saucer wide. What is he? - Human. - Human, okay. - He's just a little fella. - Yeah, he's about five, five, six-ish. Not too terribly tall. Not very physically imposing either, just-- - Is he with other people or? - He was honestly just kind of standing here by himself. He really didn't look like he was drinking alone, but standing up. - Okay. - The place is kind of at capacity. There is a table in the corner, but no one's sitting at it. - Okay. - And this guy's gonna look at Malchus and then back to Yammerd.

Yeah, I guess. Why? - Great, come on. - And then I wanna usher him over to the side. (laughing) (soft music) - Malchus, I'd like to have Malchus give the room a look over and see if he can catch anyone like giving him a look of recognition. - Go right ahead, roll a perception check. - Perception, okay. I should get better at that one. I should get way better at that one. - Malchus doesn't see anyone really. When you guys walked in, you definitely got some glances, but you're not noticing anything in anyone's eyes that would say, "Oh, that's Malchus Grimness." So you're not seeing that on anyone's face.

- Let's go drink and get murdered. Okay, here we go. - Hey Malchus, Malchus, are you visibly, are you visibly, visibly, are you, yeah, are you visibly nervous? - Oh, Malchus is exceptionally anxious after what Yammerd did. - Okay, so I'm Duncan. I'm going to run a streetwise check and kind of find some, here, well, let me run it real quick. - 23. - That's a 23. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna find somebody. I don't know who, who should I find? Who's, who looks like they'd be good at me asking for information? - You can talk to the guy you just ushered into the bar.

- Does he, does he look like he knows stuff or should I go to the bartender? - Yeah. - Well, what you can do is we'll, we'll play it like, yeah, we'll play it like Duncan, Duncan sort of broke off, talked to the bartender for a bit to kind of get the lay of the land. - Okay, so I'm, I'm specifically asking about if there's anybody in here that we should worry about. - There's, there are two bounty hunters in town specifically that sort of took the place of the last sibling. There were a pair of sibling bounty hunters that were actually fairly famous in Brightport for kind of getting the job done.

They were the, the Ebelmayr sisters who actually had a fairly successful career here until they were captured, taken to an unical and never returned. Now, there are a pair of brothers named the Fairley Twins who have started to make a name for themselves. Though they're, they're exceptionally young. They're actually teenagers. And they have apprehended a few fairly, you know, worthwhile bounties. They've, they've actually started to make a name for themselves. There are people within this very bar looking for them to murder them actually. - But they're not here.

- They're not here, no. - Are they dead in an alley somewhere? - Not to your knowledge, no. - They're blown up. - Okay, I will say this, as bounties go, so the most you'll find in Brightport, unless it's something really big is like five grand, something like that. That's for like, that's for someone like serial killer or someone who's suspected of killing someone wealthy and the family wants revenge, something like that. The bounty on Malkus's head right now from Winterhaven, because the one from the Overwatch has been canceled, there is no longer a contract.

There is one out on Malkus currently for 20,000 gold. - We have to go. - No, you don't know that yet. I haven't told you that. - Okay. Although wait, the bartender is telling me this, right? - Yes, that there is, like you're asking, and that's not that he's recognized Malkus or anything. It's like, oh yeah, 'cause there's kind of a bounty board, the very good or foolhardy kind of check in and it's like, okay, well, what's the highest one? And there are actually a couple that are worth more than Malkus, but that's because they have been known criminals for a long, long time and they kind of exist in bandits rest.

But 20,000 gold is really tough for the average person to pass up. - Can I ask this bartender where exactly this bounty board is? - It's fairly well known. It's sort of in the center of town. - Okay. - Yeah, you can definitely find it. There are, you can ask fellow, I mean, that's kind of a crappy way to do it, you can ask fellow bounty hunters and sometimes they'll need help with certain jobs or something like that. They'll assemble a team just for one specific job. But yeah, there are a couple that exist in bandits rest that have been part of the new vault for a long time.

And yeah, you can get upwards of 50,000 gold for a couple of them specifically. The one from Malkus is not chump change though. - Okay. Would it be a perception check on this bartender if I just wanted to kind of feel him out, see how, like, if he was cool, you know? - Isn't that insight by definition? - Not see if he's lying. I want to see if like... - What his intentions would be? - If he's down, you know what I mean? Like if I, my intention here is to like maybe slip in some cash and say, hey, if... - Like if we wanted to go 420 in the safe haven, would he be down?

Would he be... (laughing) - Like, are we talking like MLG here? Like, yeah, like I want to, like, if I slip a couple bucks and say, hey, if bounty hunter comes in here, kind of give us the heads up type thing. - Do me a favor, roll an insight check. - Okay, it is an insight check. - Yeah, 24. This guy can definitely be bought. Like you can, like he would definitely, like you could slip him some cash and be like, all right, man, no problem. - Oh, I was gonna say, can I do a diplomacy check to maybe barter a little bit? - Yeah, sure. - Okay. 22. - You can pretty much buy this guy's loyalty for around 300 gold.

- Okay. How much do I have on the, let me see. - That is a good question. I don't know if we updated on the table. You definitely have 300 gold. Right, you definitely have 300 gold. - Okay. Oh, I have 70, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I slip this guy 300 gold and I say, look, me and my friends over there, we just want to have a good time tonight and we don't want anybody bothering us. So if you see anybody come in here that you think might cause us some trouble, can you kind of give us the heads up and maybe we can steer out of here? - He's kind of, yeah, he's like, yeah, no problem, man, yeah.

Like he's getting his, like, he's kind of leaning in, kind of like, yeah, no problem. And he's kind of, he's gonna put his hand on your shoulder, like reassuringly, sure, sure. And then slide the money over to him. - Yeah, yeah. And then I go, another thing, the bearded guy with us, do you know who is that guy? Do you know anything about him? - He's gonna lean past you and look over, oh, that's Theodore. - Theodore? - Yeah. - Is he cool? - I mean, I guess, if you want to call him cool, I don't know, he kind of considers himself a real thug. - What does he drink?

- And a smile's gonna come across his face. Oh, he'll drink skull splitter. And he's going to, he's going to slip you, like he is going to put this tiny bottle on the counter and slide it over to you. This one's on the house. - All right, good man, good man. Hey, by the way, I'm Duncan, what's your name, sir? - People just call me Raph. - Oh, okay, Raph, I'm Duncan Joybottom. I don't know if you've heard of me, I'm kind of a big deal. But if you ever need any entertainment around these parts, I can help you out, how's that sound? - And I kind of flash my guitar.

- What do you like, dance or like? - I'm Duncan, I'm Duncan, oh, I'm sorry, Joybottom. Duncan Joybottom. - Yeah, so like juggling. - I point at my guitar, I'm a star, I'm a musician, I'm an artist. - Right. - Trust me, you'd be pulling in the money if I was headlining here, okay? So I'm just saying, I'll help you out, you helped me out, I wanna help you out, so. - I mean, like in a band, do you play in a band? - I don't need a band, I'm a singer songwriter. I do all my own tunes, originals, Duncan originals. - It's like, what are you famous for though? I mean, like what songs would I have heard?

- You've never, haven't you ever heard, you know, my songs, my hit songs, my Dust in the Wind, haven't you heard that? That was me. Knocking on Heaven's Door, I did that. Eye of the Tiger, that was good when I did that. - Oh, oh, oh, you're like a Bottomless Joy cover band. You just like go town to town and like play the hits. - Oh wow, wow. Bottomless Joy, they're actually a tribute band to myself 'cause I once died and then I came back. - Okay buddy, so you enjoy that and I'm just gonna be here serving drinks, so. - Okay, yeah. But yeah, so I'm back. That's probably, you probably didn't realize I came back to life, but I'm back to life.

So if you wanna book me, you can talk to me, I'll do it. - You do like kids parties or like what? I mean, I'm trying to figure out like what venue I would, I mean, like you'd play here? - I got, that's what I do. That's, I'm, and Duncan's like starting to kinda, but he doesn't wanna lose it because he's cool with this guy but he's visibly getting a little tense and he goes, yeah, no kids parties, I'm a little, you know, people know me, people know me. I could. - Well, all right, I'll like, I can ask around and I'll see if there's any interest and I will get that to you.

- Well, yeah, I'm a little busy, you know, saving the world and stuff, but I could fit you. - Right. - I'm gonna go with my friends. Just tell me if anybody, tell me if anybody comes in, do you wanna hear me play? I could play right now, do you wanna hear? - No, I believe you, I believe you, no. - I could play, I mean, I could, you have a stage, I could jump on. - No, no, I mean, I totally believe you and if any bounty hunters come looking for the famous bard who died and came back, I will. - They won't be looking for me, if they're looking for anybody, you just tell us, okay?

- Okay. - Yeah, okay, and I give him, I put my fist out. - He will bump your fist. - Okay, okay, we're cool. Hey, you, and I take the drink and I'm like, so this is, if I want anything else, I'll come back and I'll get, maybe I'll just put my finger up and I'll kind of call you over, is that all right? - Yeah, no, yeah, sure. - Is that table safe? Is there anything special about the table I should know? - It's a table. - Okay, it's not reserved, I just want, it's not, I don't wanna, you know. - No, we don't really do reserved seating here. That's pretty much, if you can take the table, it's your table.

- Okay, sounds great, sounds great. So Raph, thank you very much, sir, and I will, I'll see you in a little bit. - Yeah, he's gonna like nod his head and just like, okay. - Okay, so I walk over to the table and I put my hand on Theodore and I go, okay, Theo, and I give him the drink that I got. - Okay, one, he's gonna look at you like, who the fuck are you people? Two, why are you buying him drinks? Three, why did you just call me Theo? (Raph laughing) - So he does give me a weird look after that? - Yeah, definitely, yeah, just. And I say, oh no, no, sorry, sorry.

I was talking to my friend Raph up there. He told me this is your drink and I thought I'd buy you one. I thought I'd get you what you like. - He told you that's what I drink? - Yeah. - That guy's a dick. - What, what is it, what happened? - I don't drink alcohol really. - It's a celebration, come on, just one. (Raph laughing) - To friends, come on, just, I don't wanna push it in his face, like come on, just. (both laughing) - All right, so let's get around to this stuff going. So for those of you who don't know, there is a beverage in Theria called Skull Splitter.

Usually just, it's usually just abbreviated to Splitter. It is the strongest drink that you can get. It will wreck you. The hangover that is associated with this is worse than death for some people. It won't kill you, but you'll wish you were dead. - Come on Theo, as little as a bottle is, we don't even need glasses. Let's just all share the bottle and just take swigs. Come on, I'll go first. - Okay, firstly, that's gross. - I brush my teeth. - He doesn't, he doesn't brush his teeth. He doesn't. - Yes I do, I brush my teeth, I brush my teeth. - You brushed your teeth like two months ago.

- I brushed them. (both laughing) - Before we get too far into this, I go up to Malkus and I go, hey, real quick, me and the bartender up there were really cool. He wants me to play. He tried to, he begged me to play here and I was like, no, I can't. But he said that if anybody comes in that might give us trouble, he'll give us a heads up. So you're good, is that? - The look that Malkus is giving Duncan right now, I can only describe as dour exasperation. (both laughing) - Duncan, do you not believe me? He said, we're good. He said, I gave him, I slipped him some gold.

And he said that if anybody comes in, who's looking for anything, he's gonna let us know first so we can sneak out. - Malkus just continues looking at Duncan with disapproval, takes the mug, puts it in front of him, then just looks down at it. - It's not a mug, we're sharing one bottle. - This stuff is very potent. - Okay, wait, do we, oh, we're just passing it around? - You can have glasses. There was nothing against, damn, we're still wanting you to share the bottle. - I see Malkus like reaching his hand, like looking for where the glasses are and I'm just gonna take the bottle out of my mouth.

Here you go. (both laughing) - That's good. - Yenward, do me a favor, roll an endurance check. - Okay. - Wow, man. - Ritz. - This will not faze Yenward in the science. - Yeah, he's limited target. He has four stomachs. - Yeah. Duncan sees Yenward put it down and he kinda grabs it and he goes, you know what? I normally try to stay away from the hard stuff, but it's celebration, like my friend Yenward said, so. - It's barely hard, look how little that bottle is. - Bottoms up, guys, ready? And Duncan just takes it and throws, takes a swing. - Oh my God. (both laughing) - 18.

- He doesn't look like he needs a dwarf, so he has to know. - Okay, well let's save that. - Please, they smoke a lot, please. - So, Theodora's listening to you guys talk and watching you drink and he's just, like his head's not moving, but his eyes are just pinballing back and forth between like all of you. He looks really nervous. - You know what, Theodora, we're being rude. You're our guest, I wanna take the bottle away from Duncan and I wanna hold it to his face. And I wanna notice the disdain in his face and we go, oh, sorry. I wanna buff the lip of the bottle with my fucking arm fur and we give it back to him.

- There you go. - And he's not even gonna reach for it. You're just holding it up to his face? - Yeah, it's like right under his nose. - He's just gonna kind of like, there's a look of fear because that is a massive Minotaur hand and you guys kind of forced him to this table. So, he's just really kind of worried about saying no. - And not just topple it with the bottle. - He's just gonna start to pucker his lips a little. Like not move at all, just like, ugh, just like pucker his lips out and just like, just make contact with the bottle. - Okay, I wanna tip the bottle off.

Don't give him all of it, don't give him all of it. Okay, just don't give him all of it. - So that's a 17, okay. Is Malkus gonna drink any of this? - Does Malkus know the reputation of this stuff? - Yeah, Malkus is a borderline functional alcoholic, so yeah. - Right, well, he doesn't feel safe, so he's just gonna take like a nip of it. Like he's not gonna, he just doesn't feel safe here, so he doesn't wanna be compromised if someone comes after him. - Okay. - So he's just gonna take a sip. - So do me a favor, roll an endurance check, but we're gonna give you a plus four to it.

- Okay. - Okay, so 22. So that's not bad at all. Okay, so 17 and 18, Theodore and Duncan are gonna feel a little tipsy, but it's not real bad. And Malkus is just gonna feel a little relaxed, not really buzzed at all, just kind of like, okay, that's not bad. Ynward's not gonna feel this at all, really. - He's sucking on the bottle like a patsy. (laughing) - How much is left? - There's basically a swig left. - Just like one swig? - Yeah. - Okay, hey guys, you want another round? - Theodore's gonna hold up his hand. I don't know you. (laughing) - No, you're not buying.

Ynward's buying this round. - Ynward. - I can buy this round. - I feel. - Duncan puts his finger up. Another over at Raph. - Bring two, the bottles are really tiny. - Two, healed up two fingers. - You know, just bring a bottle for each of us, man. We don't gotta share it. It's gross. - Are you buying Ynward? - Yeah, I'm buying. - Okay, four, healed up. (laughing) - You gotta treat my new friend Theo. Come on around him. - Is there a purpose to tormenting this carrot juice drinking waif or is this just amusement? - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - That's a waif. - I'm not a waif.

- What is a waif? - I'll have you know, I'm fairly feared in certain circles in this city, okay? - I'm scared of them. Four, and I keep going back. (laughing) - Vartan's gonna bring four more of these little bottles. - Excuse me, Bart, I have a question. I was hoping you could answer for me. - Okay. - Do you know what a waif is? (laughing) - He's gonna cock his head. It's like a little urgent child, usually. It's to describe a waif. - Oh, okay. You're little, but you don't seem like an urgent. You seem like an okay guy. You're little, though. - And you're talking to Theo.

- Yeah. - I like how the bartender's calling him Theo. (laughing) - Raph is gonna look down at Theo. Oh, you're kind of waifish, I see it. And Theo's just gonna look at him like he's a fucking asshole. Like, he's getting a little exasperated now. - See, now I don't know how to believe, 'cause two people are calling you a waifs, and then two people aren't calling you waifs. I don't know what you are. - I have a beard. I have a beard. And again, my beard's better. - My whole body's a beard. (laughing) - My beard's better than your beard. Just straight face. Duncan's just looking at him like that.

(laughing) - Inward. - Duncan, we should drink more. Oh, right. - 25. Okay, 25 for you, Inward. 26 for Duncan. Oh, God, Theo's gotta roll again. (laughing) Now it's peer pressure. Now, okay, here's the thing. Theo develops this look on his face like, "I'll fucking show you guys. "I will drink you under the table." Now he's just fully onboard like, "No, fuck this. "Like, I'm proving." 12. (laughing) - It's a 12. (laughing) - Oh, wait, wait, that wasn't an endurance. I didn't roll endurance. I just chucked it by. - Well, what's your endurance? Hold on, what's your endurance modifier?

- Uh, it's... - Nine? - Nine. - Yeah. - It's a 10. - And then he gets plus four, so. - Well, is he just taking a nip from it, or is he... - Yeah, that's what I've been doing 'cause I don't feel safe. - So, 14. Okay, both, oh, man, both Theodore and Malkus are gonna start to feel the effects from this. So they're gonna start to get a buzz pretty quickly, within minutes of drinking this. They're gonna start to get much, much looser. Theodore specifically, it appears, can't handle his alcohol. Maybe there's a good reason why he doesn't drink. (laughing) - So can we, is there any kind of glazed look or anything?

- There's gonna be a little bit of a sway, little bit of a sway to Theodore. Malkus, again, borderline functional alcoholic, so he's handling it slightly better. But yeah, you can tell he's getting there. - So even though my first endurance check wasn't great, since my second one was good, I'm cool. - Yeah, you're still doing fine. Like you and Ynrit are still doing pretty well. How about we do something, how about we catch up with Diana really quickly? - Okay. - Okay, so Diana's been reading this ledger, right? - Yep. - Okay, so it's taken her a little bit, but she did actually find the history of her, well, quote unquote purchase.

How she actually came to be in Theramax possession. There's a woman in Esterholt that Diana actually comes from named Cassira. And on paper, at least, it looks as though that could be Diana's mother. - Oh. (laughs) - The last known record, the record of this woman stops at Esterholt, and this was years ago. But that is the, that is pretty much the only real identifier of where Diana would come from. There's no history of her before her purchase, only the things that Diana already knows after. - Isn't much, yeah. - Yeah. - Is there anything more specific than just Esterholt?

- She actually comes from a really livable section of Esterholt. There's, the city's sort of divided into two. Esterholt has a really lovely orphan community. Like there, a lot of homeless children live there, but they're really well cared for. They have the highest adoption rates in Theria. And on the other half, it's all very well-to-do shops. I mean, this is the kind of city that sells really fine cheeses and wines and really nice weapons and armor and things like that. - I remember that group two episode, yeah. Snobby guy. - Yeah, I miss that guy. Maybe you guys would meet that guy.

(laughs) - I mean, there's like a 50/50 chance at least that he's dead by now. - Yeah, Esterholt's had some hard times, but. - Yeah. (laughs) - But the woman's full name is Kisera Shalath. And there's not a whole lot in here about her, just that she existed and that's where Diana came from originally. - Okay. Well, that's definitely something. Pretty big, actually. It's more than she was expecting. - Well, let me ask a question. Would Dirthag and Sudafed, would they be coming into, would they be coming to the house at any point? Would Diana and them hook up at any point?

- We were just sitting on the porch drinking, taking it easy, taking it sleazy. - So would Diana go looking for them? - I would probably know because I mean, they're like, both of them are fairly new to the party. And also, I mean, she just like, God, I mean, this is pretty big information, but she herself just receives it. She's gonna need some time to process it before telling anyone. - Okay. So what would Dirthag and name redacted be? - Just Blackvar. - And hold up in like a study or something kind of like- - Well, he's just gonna open the door, look for her, scan the room because he's been, he's been going inside each room looking for her, so.

There's like a thousand of them. - And has (laughs) has Lion face been following him along? (laughs) - His name is Caulthrop and yes he has. - Where is Mutual of Omaha? (laughs) - His name is Sepulveda Boulevard, everyone. Just Simba. - Yeah, has he just been like following him like right behind us? (laughs) (indistinct) - Can we role play Dirthag walking into random people's rooms and then saying sorry and closing the door? (indistinct) - After a while Tessia would totally pull you aside. After a while it's like, can I help you? What do you need? Like she would- - Hey, get back here.

Like a pissed off teacher. Oh, she's gonna confront me? - I mean, if you're just wandering room to room, yeah, eventually like. - Okay. He's gonna like after Tessia flags him down, he's gonna say, okay, where's the other Redface girl at? - He's gonna, sorry. You are saying all these names and now I've forgotten my actual name. (laughs) It's since when Afe will just slowly turn and look at Dirthag and be, I just be like, he means the tiefling milady. - There, okay. That is not something that Tessia is not used to hearing. You know, coming from Brightport. Though there, you can tell like, okay, do me a favor.

Suisun. - Yeah. - Roll, roll a perception for me please. - 18. You're gonna notice the slightest tinge in her. Like there's this half second where she has to compose herself because it's not like she was gonna snap. It's just more like, wow, that's fucked up. Like just for a second, just for like half a second. And then she-- - She forgot almost that she was the leader of a powerful house. - Is she more pissed at me or him? - No, no, definitely, definitely Dirthag. Like it's a Redface. It's like, oh, that's not cool. - We did punch it like a Redface girl. - Well, it was your casual racism that's makes it even more like, dude.

- It was the entirety of that statement. - It's the Therian version of Darkie. - You get it, you're just less than, you know? - He's a half-orc. - He's an orc. He's a full orc. - Oh, he is a full orc, I keep forgetting. - Yeah, at some point we're gonna have to explain racism to him 'cause he just doesn't. - She's at the end of the hall and she's gonna just point to where you guys need to go. - All right, he'll just start marching in that direction. - Sisson with his mouth, I'm sorry. - He's partially retarded. - And she's gonna give this understanding like, yeah, no problem.

Like she gets it like orc, you know, what are you gonna do? Like that kind of thing. So you guys are gonna find Diana sitting by herself. - Before we go in, I'll put my hand in front of him, knock the door and ask if we can come in. - Diana will kind of like, I mean, you can't see her, obviously, but she's gonna kind of like start a bit 'cause she was just kind of staring at the book and then close the ledger and then, yes, I suppose. - Okay, he's gonna barge in. - Are you seriously kicking the door? - No, no, just like he's gonna open it but he's gonna hit it with his shoulder also a bit 'cause he's anxious to just, this pompous circumstance isn't cool, it's just let's do this.

- I'm rolling my eyes so hard at you right now. - So that's gonna make a noise. That is gonna like, the door is going to, like you opened it pretty hard, so it's gonna kind of thump the door or thump the wall behind the door. So it is gonna blam, like just kind of make a noise. Say I'm just not gonna start at that but she's just gonna kind of like watch him like she's, that was a bit violent and he is an orc. It's like what, like she's a bit wary. - He just starts killing everyone. Like, well, we should have known this was gonna happen. Okay, he's gonna open up with, you dry your tears yet, are you okay?

- Excuse me? - We all saw you out there, but those two bodies, you were in a heap. I imagine you just saw two dead people and just start crying. - Diana's not going to respond to that. She's- - Sorry, I'm gonna smack him over the back of the head. Like, you don't speak to the pack leader like that. - Yenn, where's the pack leader? - By all rights, I believe Mrs. Diana is the pack leader. We will not argue about this. Please show her some respect. - All right, he'll just grimace at that and just kind of just go and lean on the wall. - There's gonna, like she's gonna turn her attention towards see soon and not know if I said that right at all.

- I see you soon. (laughing) - I tried. - You did, you did. - It's even worse 'cause it's an S syllable and that's where I kind of get a bit of stuttering problems. It's horrible, but yeah, she's gonna just look at him, just smile a bit and just, I'm not sure about pack leader quite, but thank you, it's much appreciated. And was there anything specific the two of you wanted? - Look over at that, well, to be honest, we were outside drinking and he decided to come inside to look for you, so here we are. I'm not sure what he wanted. - Where are we going? - What do you mean?

- We're gonna leave soon, right? Kill something, do something. - I too was of the mindset that we were going to be doing something or killing something. - That is the plan. Maybe not for the purpose of killing something, but if something gets in the way is, things tend to do, then we will take care of it, but it is about time that we figure out where we're headed after here. Unfortunately, since the rest of the group isn't here, I really can't speak as to where. I imagine we all have various interests as far as location. - It has been a while since I have tasted the real battle, so it would be great to get my hands dirty.

- Well, if we end up following the lead I've just received and the path there will most likely lead to plenty of real battles. - All right, he's gonna start biting the bottom of his lip anxiously and he's gonna say, okay, what lead do we have? What are we doing? - There's something of interest to me in Esther Holt. - What's that? - What's the city? - Yeah, what's in Esther Holt? - It's a city, it's somewhat, Jason, how proportional in size is it to Brightport? - Brightport's a larger city, but Esther Holt's really sizable. - Yeah, okay, so somewhere kind of like here except nicer generally, but if we were to go directly to there from here, the roads are in probably one of the least safe places in all of Theria.

Plenty of things that would try to rip our throats out, so plenty of things to fight. - All right, that's good, yeah. - So why are we leaving right now? - We're missing half our party. That wouldn't exactly be wise, not to mention rude. - Only a full cub goes hunting by himself. - Right, yeah, forgot those guys. So where are they? - She's gonna kind of blankly at both of you. I haven't really been paying attention to what's been going on in the house, do either of you have any idea? - I thought you just said you're the leader. - Again, he's gonna give him that stern look.

(laughs) - I have more important things to take care of than keeping an eye on the rest of the party for the moment. - So would you guys like to go find the rest of the group? - I think that's a good idea. I'd like to role play them, see them at the bar with this new guy. - I think we should first, we should ask like Tessia and David, is that his name? - Yeah. - Okay, we should ask one or both of them if they know first, because that would be easier than just searching an entire city. Not that it would be really hard to find, I imagine, but. - Yeah, that's how we if like Yenn word scream shots like that right when they were walking out the door so he would know they're going to a bar.

- It just makes sense to ask. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, Tessia, okay, Tessia would be waiting at the end of this hallway because after, okay. - He slammed the door. - After the door slam, there's more a look of concern. Like there's almost a physical, did he go find her to go try and beat her up? Like what? - Like what the fuck bro, come on. - Like she's waiting to hear more noises. That's what she's waiting to hear and then she would be stepping in instantly, but yeah. - That would have not gone enough for you, but yeah. - Well, I'm pretty sure Simba wouldn't have just let this go on, like you two are killing each other.

That's it. - The other way, why aren't you putting your hands up? - She's getting hit in the face. - You need to work on your defense. - Dodge. - Dodge. - So we're going to go talk to David. - Well, again, Tessia would be out in this hallway just sort of waiting. So as soon as you left the room, she would, you'd see her. She's plain as day right there at the end of the hallway waiting. The clear look of concern on her face. - You guys think it would be better for her to do that now and let Simba and Dirthak go to get the others or should I go along? 'Cause I don't want to miss out on like group characters.

- That would, I think you doing it now would make most sense 'cause I don't think, from a character standpoint, I don't think Diana's too interested in running out. - She would not touch the drop of alcohol. That's a cannon thing, but yeah. Okay. - But Dirthak and- - Starfag. - Stars. - Really? - Are you serious? - Not doing this again. It's Durr-Bucks. - Durr-Bucks. - Yeah, Starbucks. - Durp-Durp and- - Selsun Blue. - Selsun. (all laughing) - Durp-Durp and Sipper Sapper are- - Yeah. Yeah, Dapper Boy and Snape would totally know that you wanted to go to Esterhold.

So they would be able to push that forward while Diana stayed behind if you wanted to do that. - Okay. - Tessie's gonna have a look on her face like, "Is everything okay?" Like very, like it's very transparent. You can see that she's genuinely concerned. - Diana's gonna notice that and then kind of look towards Seastune and it's like, raise an eyebrow a bit. Like, why would she be concerned? (laughs) Like, do you know what's going on? - I think she's worried about the old guy. I don't know. I'm just gonna shrug. I don't know. - Okay. So then as they get closer, still just, is something wrong?

- I just thought you may have been in danger. Everything seems fine though. So did you find what you were looking for? - As a matter of fact, I think I have. And she's gonna pause and kind of turn back towards Seastune. In fact, do the two of you mind going to look for the others by yourself? I would like to talk with Tessie alone for a period of time. He's gonna respectfully, like attempt to be respectful and bow his head to Tessie and just say, you and then walk away, not knowing her name. - And she's, there's gonna be this moment where she's like, oh, okay.

And then just sort of wave. - We haven't exactly had the time to teach him manners yet. - No offense, but within work that could be difficult. - Believe me, it wasn't my idea to bring him along, but we'll see how that ends up going. - How about we take a seat? - Just in the middle of the hallway. No. - She's gonna motion back toward the living room. How about we just sit in the hallway? - Okay. Yeah, so follow. - And again, there's these large comfy couches. She's just gonna motion to one of them and she's gonna sit down herself. What did you wanna talk about?

- She's been carrying the book with her and so she's gonna kind of look down on it. Just said someone just dropped. Oh, I heard a noise. Okay, it's dumb. We'll not worry about that for now. She's gonna look down at the book and just like close her eyes for a few seconds. And then just, I've found records of someone who may be my mother. - Does it tell you where she might be? - It's from a while back as I'm sure you can imagine, but Esther Holt. - I would imagine you'd be taking your leave soon then. - Would that be all right with you? - I more than understand.

- I imagine it doesn't tell you if she's still alive. - There's nothing of that sort, no, unfortunately, but it's honestly more than I was expecting. - Do you remember anything about her? What she looked like, anything? - Just, I'm gonna just look at testing, kind of just consider for a moment. I have no memories of my time before I wasn't there, max service. - Well, you're welcome to take the book with you. And if it can help you out in any way, could you do me a favor? - Of course. - Before you leave the city, could you let Malchus know that I'd like to talk to him?

- She'll nod. - There was also, she's gonna, okay, this is actually a question. So, since Diana has like staffs and stuff, do you like carry them on her, like would she like carry them on her back like they do in like Dragon Age or something? - I would imagine, yeah. It's not like you can put it in your pocket. - Yeah, like so she's gonna like kind of like pull out like the staff of her waiting line and just kind of look at it for a few seconds and then kind of offer it up to her and just, we got this off of Carter's body. The man who used it, who's in our party was a healer and he died in battle against the archmage, but it's honestly, I think it would be better served if it were here with you.

She's gonna look at this. Are you sure about this? - I've been thinking about it over the past few days. The man I was talking about, his name was Hondo. He was honestly the first person I've ever really trusted or even remotely thought as a friend, but I can't use it to its full potential and I'd honestly rather not have it around. - I promise I'll try to put it to good use. - Thank you and thank you for everything. I can't even begin to explain how much you've helped me here. - She's gonna take this staff and sort of put it at her side and then she's gonna lean in and unless Diana resists, she's gonna hug her.

- She's not going to resist. She's gonna, she will kind of freeze up. She very clearly does not know what to do but then after a few seconds, she'll kind of awkwardly put her arms around her back but then kind of cling to her a bit with her hands. She's just really mixed emotions and impulses here. - How about we catch up with the rest of the party here? - That was so sweet. - That was really nice. - It wouldn't be hard for Dirthag and wouldn't be hurt. I'm gonna try it again. - See, that's what happens when you were thinking of funny names. - I'll go back to funny names.

- I think that was close enough personally. It sounded like it to me. - Okay, Dirthag and Season Fries are gonna... - Now I'm hungry. - It's not gonna be hard to find out where the rest of this party went. It's a pretty conspicuous group. And I would imagine that you guys are gonna walk into safe haven here. And let me ask the rest of the group, have you continued to drink? - Yes. - Yes. - Malkus, has Malkus continued to drink? - Yes. - He said, "Don't answer for it. "Stop backseating Kelsey." (all laughing) Jeez, have your own trauma. - It just did. - Your mom.

- And it's not enough either. It's not enough. You have my trauma too. - Your mom. - Shots fired. - Malkus has had some more to drink, sure. - All right, do me a favor. Everybody roll endurance with a negative three. - Wow. - Enjoy. - That's a second grid one. I'm so happy. - This is for Theodore. - Or something out of the ground. - Theodore is dead, right? He's actually dead. - Okay. Wow, okay. Duncan's gonna be ever so slightly buzzed. The problem is he's a dwarf. - He's like Captain America. - He gets fiery when he's drunk. - Yeah, the thing is, okay, so Skull Splitter is an orcish beverage.

I wanna thank Robin Advance for being a sport. - Yes, thank you very much. I thought in the chat, but I would say a lot. - Yeah, I'm a sport. - When you were starting to say fiery, I thought like he would start humping Yenn-Wer's leg or something like that. - He's filled with lust, uncontrollable lust. - Just drink, just puts Duncan in heat. - Just smack him in the back of the head, like, stop it, come on. - Let me break out that fanfic piece. - We'll send in your submissions for the next round of DNR fanfics right now. - Please don't. - We got another year.

- Oh dude, people have already started. The thing is, I'm actually really appreciative of our listenership that everyone was equally reviled at the Malchus Breanna one. - Yeah, that was brutal. - That was terrible. - Rob, you gotta hear that one. - I haven't gotten around to it yet. - You should at least listen to mine, 'cause it's pretty great. And I think I got him like 100% characterized correctly. Like it's just- - Yeah, I don't know, I think that sounds too much like- - Should we capture your essence, Rob? - I'll listen to it, I just haven't gotten to it yet.

- No, on the one hand, okay, the Malchus Bre one, it is on one hand the best version of Malchus and the worst version of Malchus. - It's really bad, it's like- - It'll make, it made everyone uncomfortable and yeah. - I laughed. - So yeah, so Skull Splinter's an orcish beverage and there's sort of a competition between the orcs and dwarves, right? Because Skull Splinter is known as this, as the strongest beverage in Theria, right? So the dwarves have been working on something for years that would rival it, like working on, they're a bit insulted that none of their ale is looked at.

It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, the dwarves are almost professional drinkers and they're a bit insulted that this is, yeah. So the fact that Duncan is handling this so well is not really surprising. Like it's almost like, this ain't so tough. This isn't that great. But yeah, 24, he's gonna be pretty, yeah. So Yennward is going to be, he's gonna start to feel it. So he's got a 16, he's gonna start to get a little tipsy, a little buzzed. Malchus has a seven. Malchus is drunk, like let's just full on drunk. Theodore may be dead. You might wanna check him for a pulse.

- So he's just like laying there on the table? - Yeah, like mouth agape drooling, like he just passed out. He rolled a two. He, like I said, you may want to get him some medical attention. Like he may. So Malchus is actually talking to the passed out Theodore. He's saying, you have to understand Theodore. When I called you a waif, it's for two reasons. This is what number one is 'cause I didn't know you. And number two is I'm just angry, okay? And I didn't know you and I'm angry 'cause it's been rough. I had to be a librarian for a little bit. But the thing you need to know is that now that I know you, like know you know you, you're not a waif, okay?

You're just, that was wrong to me. You're just waif-ish. That's all. - Duncan looks visibly perturbed and he looks at the book 'cause you have to realize Duncan doesn't drink hard liquor normally. So he thinks he's gonna have a great time and stuff, but he's sitting here and he just kind of feels weird, you know? So he looks back at Raph and lifts his hand up. Just another one. - And he has one finger in the air, just one up. - Okay, he's gonna bring you one more and he's gonna casually mention, okay, I haven't brought this up, but you know there's a tab running, right?

You're gonna pay this before you leave. - Oh, Yinward's got it. Yinward has the same card. Yeah, and I thumbs up and I take it and I just down it all at once. - All right, give me another endurance check. - He's got a penalty. - This time it's a negative six. - Okay, so that's a, yeah, that's 16. - Yeah, okay, you're gonna start to get a buzz going on. So Dirth Agan Sun Tzu, Sun Tzu. - Sun Tzu, Sun Tzu, yeah. - Sun Tzu and his art of war. You guys are going to walk in and see that the entirety of this group is either completely plastered and maybe dead or getting tipsy.

Like they're pretty, they're pretty. - Can I run a perception check to see if we see them? - You run a perception check, but it's a negative five to it. - Okay. So it's 19. - 19. Yeah, you would see them walking up to you guys. - Okay, so Duncan sees him and goes, "Hey, Dirth Agan, get your orc ass and your lion friend over here and have a drink with us." - Everyone in the bar. Everyone in this bar is going to suddenly look at, the lion folk and the orc. - That's a romance novel. - And if two races ever stood out in the city of Brightport, these two would be it.

And then they're going to look back to the table at the apparently rowdy, the dwarf who's getting kind of rowdy. So everyone just sort of looks at this team up, takes a mental note and then puts their head down and goes back about their business. - Like we're all going to die there for a second. - Okay, he's going to start walking over to the table. Does he notice anything? Like they're all like obviously doing something. - You're, yeah, you're going to, it's super noticeable that everyone took note of you at the bar. - No, no, I don't care about them.

I'm talking about the group. They're obviously gathered up at a table doing something, talking to somebody new. - Oh yeah, you're going to see the empty bottles and stuff. - Yeah, he recognizes Skull Splitter, right? - Yeah, that's an orcish beverage. It's not, yeah. - Does Gainward want to introduce our new pal? (laughing) - Okay, all right. All right, this is Theo. He's been buying his drinks all night and he's really great. He's way fish according to Malkus. (laughing) - Malkus just like gives him like the finger, like the pointer finger at him. He's like, you got it, like.

- I think he's in our party now. - I'm still not fully grasping what we've- - I agree completely with Duncan because we've let people join us for much less, for way less. - I'll ask him. Theo, stop spinning. Let me, do you want to come with us? - And then Malkus reaches over to Theo's head and like kind of pinches his jaw and goes, yes I would. (laughing) - Malkus looks up at Dirthag and grabs one of the bottles of Skull Splitter and says, Dirthag, you big green grandpa stabber, put this in your gob. - Okay, he's gonna grab the thing. - Galavane, we are making friends and getting shit done.

(laughing) - Can I do it? Can I do it? A check on to see if his friend's actually dead or not because he's just slumped in a table. - Would you care? - Well, I mean, if he's talking about his new dead friend, then why bother taking him with us? - You can roll perception. - 14? - 14. He looks alive enough to you. Like he just looks passed out. - All right, he's gonna ask how many drinks did he actually have? - He's had like eight, but he told us he's feared so he can take it. - I heard he's a thug. - Okay, you better watch your step 'cause he's real tough and we can replace you like that.

- Without a word, a geyser of vomit is going to erupt out of Theodore's mouth. No, no gag, no nothing. It's just, bah, like just, just. - I can't see a hole in his face anymore, right? - No, his face is turned away. So he would just projectile this out onto the floor more or less and then after the force of it, after the force of it kind of subsides, then it's just going to like dribble all over the table and all over his face. Like he's kind of laying in a pool of it now. Like it's kind of, yeah. - Okay, I'm seeing this. I'm gonna, I don't know how, where on the table is he sitting compared to the rest of the group?

- He would be tucked away in the corner whereas the rest of the group is sort of surrounded him. So Theodore kind of got his own side. - Okay, fuck it. I was going to pick him up and put him outside, but now fuck it, I'm not getting involved. - He's like Draconis, look at him. He can just, he's, he kind of makes a noise. Like it's, it's, it's like all you hear is the liquid spilling out onto the aisle and then he just kind of goes. (smacking lips) - He's sleep vomiting. - Dude, I told you this top vegan breathes fire and everything. - He's coming with us, let's go.

- Dude, fuck that old dragon we had. This one rules, he's so awesome. - Yinward, put him over your shoulder. Let's get out of here. We have to fight like that. - You're coming with us. - Let's go, let's go. - You're insecure. - So you're throwing, you're throwing Theodore over your shoulder pretty effortlessly. - Cause he's little. - It is going to fuck with your equilibrium a little bit. Cause it's gonna, it's gonna, you know, you're already swaying and rocking and you're not getting. - I haven't got the sea hoops yet. - You're adding weight to more. You're adding more weight to one side of your body than the other.

So it's, it's yeah. - You can also accidentally kill him this way by falling on him or just goring him as you're falling. - Oh, that'd be terrible. - Murder. - So you guys are just leaving this bar with Theodore. - Oh wait, no, before on my way out, I want to walk up to Raph. Good news, our friend offered to pay for all the drinks and I want to take his coin purse off his belt and leave it on the counter. Bye. - Okay, Raph is going to look at this. This isn't nearly enough. This is, this is 500 gold. - Okay. - We drank 500 gold worth of liquor? - Oh, you drank more than that.

- Guys, wait, guys, hang on. I got this. And Duncan pulls his guitar out in front of him. I'm taking requests. What does anybody want to hear? Free, free show, free show for you Raph. What does anybody want to hear? - So let me explain something. Because Skull Splinter takes so long to brew, it's actually fairly expensive. And those little bottles, about a hundred gold a pop. So you guys drank almost a thousand dollars. - Jeez. - A thousand gold. - Okay, can I, can I just, I'll get, I'll get the difference. I'll take, I'll take it. And Malchus walks up and pays.

- Okay. - Yeah. - Requests, anything, anybody want to hear anything? I'll play it, anybody? - He's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna look to Malchus and point down to take him, take him with you. Take him. - Oh, Duncan. Look, hey, I'm taller than him, but I don't own him. That'd be wrong. - Both of our sons still in the dead of the night. - He's a, he's a free bird. Free bird. - Although we both fall close together, we feel miles apart inside. I'm playing free, shut up. - Malchus is just bobbing his head to it and kind of snapping a little bit off, like off rhythm.

- Anybody want to hear? - Dirthag. - Yes. - Dirthag, Seesoon, do me a favor, roll perception. - And Malchus made himself well-known. Drunk Malchus sucks. I was a 15 to do for you. - Seesoon is gonna notice that the people in this bar are now sizing up this group. Because now they are very visibly inebriated. And they obviously have enough money to sit and drink skull splitter all night. And that, that they just like, oh, I got it, it's fine. Now they're starting to go, huh, these guys have money. - The realization that this is happening, Seesoon is going to grab Duncan by the scruff of his collar and basically look at everybody in the bar and muster up the biggest lion roar he can possibly do, do it, and then just GTFO.

- Okay, do me a favor, roll a 10 to date check. - And do I get any pluses because I'm a lion dude? Come on, man. - Lions are pretty scary. - Come on, we're pretty fucking scary. - Because you're playing into your race, I'll give you a plus too. - All right. - 20. - You are obviously not drunk. You didn't drink with them. So that is enough to, that'll get you out the door. That'll, that'll, it's like, okay, we're not gonna, you know, we, it kind of like, kind of like, kind of like wolves, like if you have fires, like, all right, all right, but they're, they're, they're gonna keep an eye on you.

It's like, all right, maybe later, maybe later. - So when he walked out, was there just like, there's just like stunned silence? - Oh, no, they, they, no one, okay. Everyone stopped talking the second Duncan started singing because everyone's thinking the same thing. It's like, these guys are fucking hammered. And then they watch you pay. It's like, here's 500, and like, you're, you're, you're carrying people out with you. Like you're very visibly drunk and weak and you have money. So everyone stops talking and, you know, you can sort of see them leaning in and then the roar happens and they're like, all right, they all kind of like, they, they kind of go back to what they're doing, but they're very, they're very aware of you.

They're pretending to go back to their conversations. - While everyone like, while we were like packing up and leaving, you just got to look down, like holding Duncan in his, in his one hand, he's going to be like, this is why I don't drink. - So we're all outside now. - Wait, before I, hold on, let me, just let me say goodbye to my new friends. Hey everybody fucking round on Theo. Put it on his tab, man. - The last thing. - Three cheers for Theo. (laughing) - Hey, is this from the outside? - The last thing you're going to see is this bartender start to do a hand motion.

Like he does not have a tab. No, no, he does not, no. - Barkeep, start to spin a tab. - Are you heading back to the house? - Can we, can we role play a little outside real quick? - Sure. - Okay. So Duncan kind of like brushes Asusu off, but not like, not violently, just kind of like composes himself and throws his guitar behind his back. And he goes, ah, glad I got us out of that thing. Hey, Malchus, come here. And I call Malchus over. - What, what is? - Hey, come here, come real close. - Malchus leans down real close. - Hey, the bartender in there, he told me that there's a board that has your face on it.

People are looking for you. I say, we go take your face off the board. - That's good. - Then they wouldn't know what I looked like. - Right. I say we do it. - Can I hear them saying this or was this like an aside? - I would think that they're not being super stealthy. Probably the drunk whisper that's like, yes. Hey, that's exactly that kind of. - It was like the oldest of the sober person here is I lost, I don't know what to do. Ah, fuck, no, I'll leave it, no. - Okay. So before we get out of town, I got to take your face off that board. - So we don't want to do it.

No, I want to do it now. - You can do it now if you want, I don't care. - I want to go alone. If there's a face on a board, then people might be looking for me on the face board. - Take Theo, he's a rough customer. He knows these birds. I'm gonna just drop Theo on the cobblestones. - The second he hits the ground, he's going to flop down on his back and another geyser of vomit is going to erupt from his mouth and coat his own face. And he's going to start to cough. - Oh my God, guys, he's gonna die. - Turn him over. - Okay, Duncan turns him over. Okay. - So soon we'll actually pick him up and lean him against the bar.

So he's like, his back is lent against the actual building. So the guy doesn't die. - So he's gonna, okay. Theo's gonna make a sound that sounds like someone stepped on bagpipes. Not playing the instrument so much as forcefully squeezing the air out of it. Just kind of a, just kind of that as you lean him. - All the life is leaving his lungs. - As you lean him up against. Are you leaving him here? - No, no, why is lean up against the bar? He's like, "Hey, look at me, follow me. We need information." Listen. (laughing) - His head is not, no, it is flopped at like, there are no muscles in his neck essentially.

It's just kind of like flopped down. - He has to be ready for battle tomorrow. We must take him and heal him. - If he's gonna be in our party, we have to take care of him. - I wanna pick him up and cradle him like a baby. So you're right. - I don't think he's in any condition to point us in the right direction. We're just gonna have to ask people on the street. - I think we should do it when, 'cause Malkus is drunk. And I think we should wait 'til Malkus isn't drunk. Let's do it. 'Cause Malkus, you're drunk. - But like a little. - You're drunk. And if we're gonna kill my father, we gotta be sober and ready and we gotta be ready to go.

So we need to rest up. - I thought we were going to see the face board. - We'll do that later. You're drunk, you can't do it right now. - You're, you're confusing me. - You're drunk. - Well, okay, okay. - This guy's drunk. - Okay, Duncan. Duncan. - Yes. - Want you to tell me where we're going right now. - And then Duncan just kind of turns and, kind of like, just not a burp quite, but like a gurgle comes out of his mouth. And he goes, "Bed, I think we should go to bed." - I think so too. Bring, bring, bring Theo. And we'll take care of him too, 'cause he's, he's the seventh man.

He's our, he's part of the team now. - Team inward, onward. - As we're walking back, I'm going to lean over to death. Like, do you know this man? - No, I don't. I don't know any of them. Not at this point, like this is freaking ridiculous. They can't hold their liquor. - Theo on three, one, two, three. - Theo! - Theo! - Ew! - We just have to get to the bed. We just have to get to the bed. - Could actually be a very long way to bed. - You have to get past Tessia. - Has Tessia seen Malchus drunk before? Like, I don't know like what age he left. - Yes, it's not. Yeah, it's not a pleasant- - Dude, Sassoon and Durothag is like, "You wanted to speak to Malchus, right?" And then just throw drunk Malchus at her.

- I just want to see Malchus like, try to hide being drunk, like a teenager coming into his mom. - Face up his hair, his horns. - Press a focus really hard. (laughs) - Come on, mom, I'm just tired. - We should go get tattoos. Yeah, matching tattoos, guys. - It's like the days to confuse where you go. (laughs) - Aw, I'm good. - We should all get like tribal. Like, but the same one, 'cause we're like a tribe. - Malchus can get it tattooed on his head now that he shaved it. - Arm bands for everyone, arm bands. And a tramp stamp for Theo. - Dukka should totally talk Malchus into getting it tattooed on his face.

- Are there any tattoo parlors around here? Where are we going? - We're going home. - There's a shop called the Rusty Needle right next to the Rusty Needle. (laughs) - We should go to the other bar, guys. (laughs) - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. We're going home and we're gonna take real good care of Theo 'cause he is, he's a wayfish trooper. He's a real trooper. - We can take you to the shop. - No, he doesn't, that's, no. - Let's go to bed, let's go home. - Who's gonna knock on the door here? - The mouth isn't gonna knock, he's just gonna open it.

Oh, okay, okay. He's family. - Please tell my house, sweet child. - I live here. - So walking in, stumbling in, you're gonna see Diana and Tessia just sort of sitting on the couch here. And when you start to come in, Tessia is going to abruptly look up and then there's gonna be a look of concern across her face 'cause she thinks you may have gotten into a fight and hurt yourselves. 'Cause the way you're carrying yourself. - Duncan clears his throat. We found this guy and he's drunk and we need to take care of him. And he points at Theo. - So she's. - Have a heart, he's gotten nowhere else to go.

- She's gonna look over the party and then get to Malchus. Have you been drinking again? - Again. Malchus nods. - At this point, who's carrying Theo? Like, then what I imagine, right? - Yeah. - He's got vomit all over his back. - I just look clumped up in my fur. - First. - Diana just sort of like put her head in her hands. Like, just nodding. - The first Duncan was buying and then Yennward bought after that. And then someone else bought. And mom, it would have been rude to not do it. After they just, they bought the skull splitter and then they bought the skull splitter and then someone bought some skull splitter.

And then. - A very polite double. - And Theo can breathe a sticky cloud. - As you say that Theo is going to give one last good. Just kind of start to cough and hack and then just, he's kind of getting to the point where it's mostly bile and it's just gonna dribble down Yennwards back and then onto the carpet. - Malchus points and says, I told the truth. - Yerin's gonna like smile like Corey. - So as Malchus is telling the story, Tessia is going to break eye contact. Just look down and just shake her head. Just listening and then. All right. We can talk about this tomorrow.

Could you three help them get to bed please? - Yeah, we'll help them, it's no problem. - Not you. And then she's gonna look, she's gonna look over to Diana and then Dirthag and Suisun and just please. - Yeah, he nods and goes, I don't wanna pick up the vomit guy, no, no, no, no. I'll help Duncan. - Oh, I wanna help Duncan. - I'm not touching vomit dude. - Diana will like, she's gonna kind of like not look to you, please, but just like nod at Tessia and then like, she's gonna like walk slowly, but kind of like leading the way toward like, she doesn't wanna be behind because that's where the vomit might go.

- Okay, so actually that's a good point. Duncan sees Diana and just kind of puts his head down and goes up to her and goes, I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry. - It's okay. - I really never do this. I really never do this and I'm really sorry and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - She's gotta kind of pat him on the head once or twice. - I think me and Yennward should stay with Theo to make sure that he's okay throughout the night. I think he's the new member of our party. He needs to be healthy. - Somebody say party. - It's probably best if you all didn't sleep alone.

- I got it. - Yeah, all right. All right, I knew you had it in ya. - Is that okay? Is that out loud? Seriously, okay, is that out loud? - Assuming Malchus could overhear what she was saying. - Oh my God. - He keeps up in your window on it. - Tessia is going to snap a look at Malchus that is just like, go to bed. Like very, just go. - You heard what she said, that was so good. That was so good. - She's gonna start to push you physically down the hall. Just go, go to bed. - So do we wanna pile the drunks all in one room so we're all like, okay. - Well, see Tessia wants to be hospitable and nice to you.

She also wants to minimize the amount of damage you could possibly do. - So I think if we all go into one room, that's the best option. - Like see soon and dirt that I could probably like keep an eye on things for a night. Like that's what she was trying to. - Why have to be responsible for them? - She's not happy. Like she's like, if Tessia had it, like she was very close to you. She was visibly just like, it's the fuck off. - What was her name? Miss Grimness. Your son, he makes poor decisions. - I'm aware. - And she's just again, just watching him kind of like stumble down the hallway.

- Yeah, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. - Yeah, good one, yeah. - Guys, that was just fucking fun. - Tessia got the moment, look at us like yes. - I love Tessia so much. - You guys, that was, that was perfect. - The best part is like, I don't know like how much they're going to remember about this. I'm assuming not much like, Diane is going to be like really pissy towards Marcus. - Actually we're gonna do some roles to see how much they're going to remember the next session. - They're gonna be fucking dead in the next session. They're not gonna be able to do much of anything.

- We all owe Theo's, Theo's in bad shape. - Who are you? - I'm gonna be blackmail Theo now because I mean. - You took all his money. - You kind of kidnapped him and he almost died. - It's not, you didn't kidnap him. When you're a party, you pay for each other. That's what you do when you're at a party. - Okay, wait, is he a thief? Is he like a gangster? Like a low level gangster? - He wants to be a random bad guy in bright port. - We're gonna have to protect him now. - Come along with us and like, see how much of a bad boy he really is. - We're gonna have to protect him.

- Yeah, I love the idea. - This does look like a bad escort mission in video games. - Like, come on guys. No, oh my God. It's that mission in Fallout where you have to take that annoying kid from camp, Lamplight to. - Yeah. - But here's the thing. I don't think we have any intention on protecting him. We just think he's another, we just think he's an adventurer. Like that's it, you know. - The last thing he was telling you before he passed out was how tough he is and how bad ass he is. - So it's not like, it's not an escort mission. It's just, we hired a terrible party member.

- And considering what our track record is with like how little explanation it's taken to get PCs into this party, this is just consistent. That's all we are at this point. - Except that he's shown no interest in joining in. - That and the problem also is like, he paid his way into the group. - He wasn't, we initiated him. - Also, judging by how Yennard acts, like he probably thinks that he owns Theoden. Like it's. - Well, it depends on how much he remembers. - Just another shiny bottle. - I hope I botched the fuck out of my rolls and don't remember Theo.

- No one remembers Theo. - Who's this fucking waif? - No one knows who Theo is or why he comes. - The only thing Yennard takes away from this night is he remembers the word waif. - Who's this guy? - That's great. - The next episode's gonna be so great. I can't wait to hear it. - Jason botched my role on purpose next game. - I can't wait to hear what Acus and Tessia's conversation is gonna be after that. - I do really like the part, the idea of him being so scared that he's like, okay, I'll go with you and just dies in the first battle. - What if he's okay, like he's not bad?

- He's just like a level one, like no armor. He's out there with a stick. - He's like how Brie was when she lost her powers. - Just in the way. - Except we don't care. Like if. - Dude, pull your weight. - Like you choose to say it, it's like, all right, man, I see what you're doing. Like lull him into false sense of security. I like it, I like it. - Hey, Theo could make a name for himself traveling with us, all right? - He might turn out to be okay. Like he might. - I can't wait till the next episode for so many reasons. (laughs)