Perfect Strangers

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(coughing) - Peacocks. - This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. - Um, I think they mean us. - Oh, (bleep) Um, (clears throat) - With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. (dramatic music) - You're the Marine? - Yeah, you're the ex-con. - Yeah, I did time, but you only gotta cast aspersions at me. - From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

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That's nobleknight.com. I can almost guarantee you if you check out their site, you're gonna be lost there for a while looking at all the cool stuff. Episode 116 is also brought to you today by Loot Crate. If you go to lootcrate.com/dandr, you can get a percentage off of your subscription if you start with them. This month's crate is cyber themed, so think Terminator Genisys, the new movie coming out, Borderlands, all kinds of stuff like that. There's also gonna be another exclusive t-shirt this month. I know everyone friggin' loved the one last month.

It was actually really, really cool, so I can't wait to see what's in this month's crate. Just like the rest of you, we all wait with bated breath each and every month, so check them out. That's lootcrate.com/dandr. - Hey everybody, this is Dan Phelps. I play Duncan Joy-Betam in group one. Thank you for downloading the show. Make sure that you leave us a five star rating on iTunes or any other thing you subscribe to us through. Also, please review us there. You can like us on Facebook to keep updated with everything going on in the DNR universe. Follow us on Twitter for the same thing at DNR Podcast.

Make sure you go to our website, dnrpodcast.com, and don't forget to donate to Patreon, www.patreon.com/dandr. If you donate there, you can soon unlock a milestone, which will let us find out which group is the best group. So make sure you do all that. And once again, thank you for listening to the show. - Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Rob. - Hey, I'm Robert Weaselhan. I play Malchus Grimnus, Tiefling Warlock. - And Dan. - Hey, I'm Dan Phelps.

I play Duncan Joy-Betam, Dwarven Bard. - And Kelsey. - Hey, I'm Kelsey. I play Diana Astaroth, Tiefling Mage. - And Justin. - Hi, I'm Justin. I play Dirthag, Orc Barbarian. - And Tom. - Hey, I'm Tom. I play Yennor, the Minotaur Fighter. - And Delmar. - Hi, I'm Delmar. I play Ist-Sun-Sunafei, and I'm a Paladin. - I like how even you giggle after your name now. - Because all I can think about is the stupid names that you guys are gonna come up with. (laughing) - Ist-Sun-Sunafei, Ist-Sun-Sunafei. (laughing) - W-N-B-C. (laughing) - It's really great 'cause I think on the mailbag, we kind of, we were making jokes about it.

We had to kind of explain a bit. (sighing) - All right, previously on the show, while Diana was finding out a bit about her past and trying to wrap her head around where she comes from and where she might be able to find her mother, Dirthag and Ist-Sun, they went out and they sparred a bit and they had a bit of a moment with each other where they kind of bonded over violence. The rest of the group, however, decided to go out to the bar and get completely shit-faced hammered. Yenward, Duncan, Malkus, all went out to Safe Haven and drank until they could no longer drink.

And they ended up picking up Theodore, who-- - Theo? - Theo, yeah, just kind of a guy that they adopted and ended up drinking under the table and then dragging back to the house. - Well, he had nowhere to go after Bill found that joint in his textbook. It wasn't really his roach, but-- (laughing) - He's got new stuff, too. - That was his friend Cockroaches. - That's a fucking horrible name. - Let's pick up the next day. How about we do that? Dirthag, Ist-Sun, Diana. You are all going to wake up and feel relatively refreshed. You are ready to go, ready to start the day.

- Got my eight hours. - Beautiful morning. - Can't wait to see how we feel, you guys. (laughing) - I know. - There is a very good reason the beverage you consumed is called Skull Splitter because-- - You feel great. (laughing) - It makes you feel strong and full of vigor, right? You go, "Let's see Skull." What it feels like is essentially a regular hangover with the added feeling of someone hammering a railroad spike into the center of your forehead to hang a picture that says, "Please don't do this again." It is literally going to feel like you're dying.

Every noise is amplified to an insane degree. The headache that you are all going to wake up with is indescribable. It is immense, just stabbing pain. You are going to feel sore all over, violently ill just to your stomach and dizzy, just off, completely off. Malkus, Yanward, Duncan, Theodore are all going to wake up in the same room. Do me a favor, roll a perception check. - All right, that's 20, almost-- - Everyone? - No, just those three. - Wait, I don't see a 20. - All right. - I'm really aware that I have a headache. (laughing) - Duncan and Malkus rolled a two.

- What about Theo? - Theo is not awake quite yet. (laughing) - Okay. - So-- - I'm gonna say his face, sorry. - So this is a room with a rather large bed. Duncan is going to wake up on the floor of this room. It does appear that he started the evening in bed and at some point or another, he was either kicked out or rolled out of his own free will. (laughing) Yanward is smack dab in the center of this bed and is going to wake up with a human arm wrapped around him from the rear. And his arm is going to be wrapped around Malkus in front of him. - Buddy, you can send in your fanfictions to dnrfanfic@gmail.com.

- We might get one right now. - Doesn't, I don't think we need to. - Yanward would like to sit up. Oh, ha ha, a cow has to be the meat in the sandwich. (laughing) - Yanward is, when he sits up, several things are going to occur to Yanward. One, his tremendous headache, body ache, he feels just abysmal. His back is also going to feel crusty and matted. (laughing) His butt just aches. - From the vomits, not semen. That's for remember what happened in the last episode, the audience. Nobody's coming on Yanward. - Come on. - Malkus is going to wake up shortly after that.

As soon as Yanward starts to stir, it kind of shakes the entire bed. My ball is nestled right, okay. (laughing) We can get through this, guys, I swear, come on. (laughing) I feel so safe. No, I'm kidding. (groaning) - What were the perception checks exactly, Jason? - The perception checks, essentially, Yanward is the most perceptive out of everyone. He's going to be the first to sort of take everything in, the surroundings. His back, along with the right-hand side of this bed, where Theo is laying, is caked in vomit. Apparently, Theo just spent most of the evening barfing all over, and he has yet to wake up.

Malkus appears to be relatively clean. He can hold his liquor down, at least, not throwing up wise. Still feels awful. And Duncan is going to be partially under the bed, partially just all lying on the floor, but the right-hand side of his body is just going to be under the bed. Like, he spent a good portion of last night rolling around, it would seem. - How much do we remember of that before? - Yanward is going to have the most recollection. That is going to be, do me a favor, actually, all three of you roll a history check at a negative five. - Oh, man.

- I have a plus five, so it's just whatever I roll. (laughing) - Crit one! - I stand corrected. Yanward remembers nothing. - So it's a 16. - Sorry. - I can make this work, okay. - 15, okay. - Hey, 19. - Okay. - 14. - So Duncan and Malkus are going to remember a good deal. They're going to remember celebrating at the bar, they're going to remember drinking, they're going to remember picking up Theo, and that's where things start to sort of trail up. Something around the discussion of a bounty board and such, and then it just kind of, (mumbling) just kind of like slips into nothing.

- So I imagine that I remember the conversation with the bartender? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, yeah, you'll pick up little flashes of events, you'll remember briefly, you remember putting on a show for the bar, you remember being brilliant. - That's awesome. - You were, yeah, you remember a standing ovation. Yanward remembers dick all. (laughing) - So he doesn't, like, he forgot what could be covering. - Nothing, he remembers nothing. - So he doesn't know what he's covered in. - Waking up in a bed with like three other people. - So am I awake at this point?

Am I, are we all? - Yes, all three of you are awake. - Do I have to do some kind of athletics check to see if I bump my head as I get up or something? - If you'd like to. Your perception check would allow you to kind of see that you're under the bed. You'll kind of see where it's dark a bit, and then you'll slowly, it's like, okay, wait, I'm on a floor, I'm under a bed. It's like you're gonna start to piece it together. There's that horrifying moment where you wake up and don't know where you are or how you got there. - Okay, I know Malkus was about to do something, so Malkus.

- Oh no, Malkus was just generally groaning and regretting being awake. - Oh, okay. Okay, Duncan gets up and he looks at the bed and he's just kind of like rubbing his head, like, oh geez, what did these guys do last night? (laughing) I'm just seeing what's going on and I kind of nudge and I go, "Ginward, Ginward." - What did you do? - I think I've been attacked by an assassin in the night. You stabbed me in the head, he's right there, help. (laughing) - I'm going to the line. (laughing) - I look over at Malkus and I kind of, Malkus is awake, Malkus is like looking at me, right?

- Yeah. - I look over at Malkus and I'm like, "Did you?" And I make like a symbol with my fingers, (laughing) not a sexual thing, but more just like pointing at you three and like kind of squinting. - I remember lots of alcohol. - Oh no, we have to cover this up. (laughing) And that's when I kind of look at Theo and I guess I kind of just remember that we picked him up and he's, so do I remember like, I guess my memory would be that guy's a warrior, like he's on our team. Is that kind of the cloudy? - It would be more along the lines of like, well, there had to be a reason we brought him back here, that would just be silly if we just grabbed a random guy.

So yeah. (laughing) - I would like to pick him. Sorry, go ahead. - It would just be more like, I remember that, I remember him describing himself as a really tough guy. Like I remember that, like he's going to be a valuable asset. - No, but, but, but Ynward doesn't remember that. Ynward thinks he's just waking up next to some random. - Yeah, Ynward remembers nothing. (laughing) - I would like to pick up Theo, like buy his shirt and shake him. - Who sent you, why'd you attack my head? - No, Ynward, Ynward, he's, we picked him up last night. He's, he's, he told us that he's super.

- I haven't stopped shaking him. - He's, he's like super tough. He's a, he's a real strong warrior and he's on our team now. - He can fight me when I'm awake. He hit me in the head, I'm sleeping. I'm so bad, I'm bleeding. - Stop, and I kind of, I'm trying to stop. I'm trying to calm Ynward down. Ynward, calm down, you're not bleeding. There's no blood on you. You're fine. - Throw Theo back on the bed. - Calm down. - Okay, so Theo is going to fall backwards and hit his head on the, on the backboard. And then you're going to hear him make a noise. That sounds kind of a half whimper, half groan, just.

And his hands are going to reflexively just jolt up and start to hold his, start to hold his head. And he's going to slowly retract his legs into the fetal position and just caked in vomit. Again, just, just dried bile around his mouth. (whimpering) Just kind of make a noise. And he's going to continue to do this. - Is there, is, man. - Brave enough to cheat shop, he's crying when I'm awake. - I'm assuming that there's some, that I'm probably, I probably need some drink of water or something. Would that be? - What will the hair of the dog do? If we get some more skull splitter, how are we going to be sitting?

- It would temporarily make you feel better. Very temporarily make you feel better. It is very, it is pretty much impossible to be a functional alcoholic when that is your beverage of choice. How about we do this one second? Let's catch up with the rest of the party. Diana Dirthag Isunsu. - Guess what shall we do on this lovely, beautiful day? - Let's all pick flowers. - Good morning, everyone. - The sun is shining so wonderfully through the window. - Just flinging all the blinds open in the mansion. - Let's say that you're making your way downstairs and you're, you guys are, you're awake.

You're going to smell, you're, you're obviously going to, you're going to smell breakfast being made and. - What's for breakfast? Is it bacon? - Bacon is another group's gag. - You guys get your own. - Go for bacon, everyone. - I want our gag to be croissants. - It's more of a, it's more of a buffet thing. Like it's, it's that there's, there's a lovely arrangement of things. One of the things that Tessie is pretty insistent on is that not all of Theria consumes meat. So there's also lovely greens and fruits and things like that. - How lovely, what a nice woman.

- She tries to be, yeah. She would, she would be in this living room area to greet the three of you coming down here. And there's a look on her face. Do me a favor, roll perception. Dirth Agasunsun and Diana. - I'll do this thing you say. - Perception. - That's not the worst I rolled, perception. - I've done worse. - Oh! - 21. - Dirth Agasunsun sees everything. - Sure Thag would pick this up the most, but she looks heavily irritated, maybe annoyed. - Can't imagine why. - And she is gonna greet you coming down the stairs. Good morning. - All right, Dirth Ag is gonna greet her with, just asking, where's the meat?

- Okay. - He smells what's going on down here and he wants to eat it. - Yeah, well, okay. So I'm just gonna pat Dirth Ag on the back and be like, the morning milady. - She's gonna nod her head and then point toward the kitchen. And she's gonna say, on your way past, could you tell David that I need him? - Diana will raise an eyebrow and then just nod, of course. - So going into the kitchen, there is a lot of activity. There are a few people who are just dishing up plates of stuff. There are multiple pots going and pans, there are fried meats and everything sitting around like bacon sausage, the whole, like this is a breakfast buffet, which is great for you guys.

The rest of your team probably won't appreciate it on the same level that you will. Probably not looking to fill their bellies. The rest of you are free to grab whatever you want and eat to your heart's content. I wouldn't make a giant plate of just like different meats wrapped onto each other. Like making one actual piece of meat, just like putting them inside each other and just wrapping them all up. - It's like a Dobo grill. - Just fucking Ron Swanson went in there and made himself a meal. (laughing) Okay. What would, just for canon's sake, what would Diana and Susan be?

- Diana would probably get like just a glass of water and then like, not too much, maybe some like fruit and then like the biscuit or something like- - A croissant? - Like, something light but like filling and stuff. Just more like, she'd probably return to where Tessia was. - Yeah, David is in the kitchen and- - Oh, well yeah, we need to talk to him. - Yeah, he would follow you back and- - Tessia would pull him aside and whisper something in his ear and he would return to the kitchen for a moment. - She'll start beating the shit out of him. (laughing) - Come back with frying pans and- - It's like, oh my God, that was- - Throws boiling water on him.

- It's like symbols, just- - You're gonna call the cows on him? - And he's gonna return with this large wooden plate this large wooden spoon and even larger frying pan lid. - David's about to get himself slapped. - And then the two of them are going to start up the stairs and into the hallway and make their way towards the large bedroom where the rest of the group is lying and outside the door, Tessia is going to motion toward David and there's gonna be a look on his face like, ah man, are you sure? Like really? And she's going to just tersely nod like, yeah, that's.

And David is going to start to slam this large metallic lid with the wooden spoon. - Do we need to roll an endurance? - I would with a negative five. - Okay. Not taking it so well. - You said endurance? - Yes, please. - That's a 15. - Okay. - 16 is 15. - And that one's for Thea. So, okay. So Thea got an 11, Malchus is going to, okay, walk away with a 16, Duncan got a 15. - Oh wait, nevermind, minus five you said. - Yeah, minus five. And Yenn were does a 16 too. So this is an ungodly racket. You're not going to double over in pain. You're not gonna, it's not going to like cripple you, but it is something you wish for.

You wish it to stop now. Like this is, yeah. - So this is coming from the hallway behind the door. - Yes. - Malchus Eldritch blasts the door. - Okay. - He attacks his mother. - No, the door's between us. - Right, yes. - And it splinters and murders her. (laughing) - This is how she dies. - Okay. So do me a, okay. Okay, so you are just going to blast this door. It's a stationary object. So we're just going to have it so that it just hits the door and it's going to blast a large chunk and it will splinter out into the hallway and do me a favor, everyone in the room, roll a perception check.

- What about us outside the room? 'Cause I want to react to this. - Are you following her upstairs? - Diana probably would have followed. - No, just to hear the door splintering would make my character react. - Yeah, okay. So the three of you downstairs, roll a perception check. - Diana probably would have followed like a bit behind, just kind of curious and amused and stuff for that. - Okay. - So perception. - Am I going to get the highest one again? - So good at this. - Got a 14 guys, that's pretty awesome. - Got 23, I almost quit. - It's almost as good as my 11.

(laughs) - So let's see here. So a hole is going to be blasted in this door and splinters are going to shoot out into the hallway and there's going to be a bit of smoke on the side inside the room. And it takes a few seconds for you to realize, but Tessia is standing on like directly on the opposite side of the door. So not only did you blast a hole in one of her doors, but you sort of pelted her with wooden shrapnel. Like there is like, it didn't cause her any pain. Like she, you know, sort of like she had her arm up to shield it, but. - How'd she know?

- Well, she didn't, that's the thing. It's just one of those things you reflexively do after you get kind of hit. Like she didn't get hit with the Eldritch bolt, just the door, just bits and pieces of the door. So Yennward, let's see here, Yennward Duncan and Malkus are going to see her face on the other side after a bit. Malkus is going to notice that she is visibly angry. - Jason, Jason? - Yes. - So from where Diana was starting, would it have, I mean, look like Tessia was like attacked, I mean, would that? - No, I mean, you could put two and two together.

Like it's not, like obviously Malkus wasn't trying to hurt her, like it was just, it was more like, just shut up. The noise is going to stop immediately though. After the door splinters, like it's going to stop. Dirthag is definitely going to hear this downstairs. Asunsoon is going to hear something, but he's not exactly sure what's going on. But he's going to hear something upstairs. - He's just going to keep eating, like. - Okay, so it's of no concern. - Very dedicated to his meal. - Okay. So then whatever that something is, I'm going to rush towards it.

- So Asunsoon is going to join Diana in the hallway here. - Once Duncan sees that it's Tessia, Jesus, Duncan will definitely kind of go towards the door and open the door and look at Malkus and just kind of point and be like, you knew it was him, right? It wasn't me. It was Malkus that did that. - Just sell him out immediately? - Yeah, because it's his mom. Like if it was like, it's not, you know, I'm not turning them over to the Overwatch or something. I'm telling you, I'm telling on him. So. - Um, okay. So Tessia is going to walk into this room. David is going to stay on the outside.

Tessia is going to walk into this room and the entire time she's looking at Malkus, like the entire time, just locked eyes with him. Can I ask you what you were thinking last night? I'm sorry. Can I ask you what? - Is this directed at Malkus or? - The room, but Malkus in particular, you can tell that maybe she held him to a higher, like a higher standard or just supposedly more responsible. You are aware that there are people looking for you, right? There is a bounty board in the center of town with your face proudly displayed. People have seen you in the city, Malkus.

Getting publicly intoxicated and then coming back here isn't exactly helpful. - Malkus just rolls over and says, "Fine, I'll be gone in a few hours." - Um. - You know that's what? - Oh, go ahead, go ahead. - Yeah. You know that's not what I meant. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. I told you that weeks ago, but you understand this isn't like the shop. You can't just drop in and treat things like they were the old days. I'm responsible for, I'm responsible for many things and I can't have you tarnishing our reputation. You understand, right?

- Yes, mother. - Okay, so Duncan is kind of like standing as if like a scolded child would, kind of, like head down, but also visibly like, "Oh my," like I'm, he's been through a lot. His head hurts, he's not feeling well. Um, and he kind of approaches Tessia and goes, "Um, Miss, Miss Grimness?" - She'll break eye contact with Malkus and look at Duncan. - Um, I'll take, I'll take responsibility for what happened last night. Malkus didn't wanna do it, um, but after everything that we had gone through recently, we just kind of wanted to go out and have a good time and we kind of talked Malkus into coming along, but we didn't mean to cause any trouble.

We didn't know it was that big of a problem and I'm sorry. - Can Diana offer her glass of water to Duncan? - Sure. - Okay, he's not gonna say anything, just kind of hold it to him. Duncan, Duncan just slightly sips on it and kind of clears his head a little bit. Do I need to, should I roll diplomacy for that? - No, I don't really think that was really a diplomacy. - Okay. - That was more an apology than anything. You can kind of see her face off in a bit. Like a lot of the, like a lot of that frustration and anger, it's just, it'll be all right. We're going to have this room sanitized, maybe burned.

- You are aware that you all reek, right? - Yes. Yeah, sorry. - Is Duncan like crying? - He's getting sniffly. Yeah, he doesn't like being reprimanded and that's how he feels right now. (laughing) - She's gonna give this little eye roll, like just, oh, for God's sakes. And then reach over and sort of embrace Duncan, like, come here, come here. - Duncan just kind of puts his head up against her side. (laughing) Wipes his nose a little bit. - Let's have your things cleaned and we can, we could strip this room down and clean it. Can I ask who this gentleman is?

And she points over to Theo. - The assassin? No, no, I told you, no. He's the newest, he's a, last night he joined our party 'cause he said that he's a fighter and he wanted to join our party. So we thought we could use all the help we could get. So that's who he is. - I'm gonna be honest, I don't think he's gonna be as helpful as the lion folk. - Well, I thought we'd give him a shot. - There's breakfast downstairs if anyone wants anything. I'm gonna talk to David about maybe getting you something to help with your headaches. - Oh, maybe take a look at Theo?

He doesn't look too hot. - She is going to break away from Duncan and then start to walk over toward Theodore. And who is still lying on this bed, eyes shut, like slam shut tightly, whimpering. And she's going to kind of touch him, but in that ew kind of way, just, and move his head just a little bit. Well, it looks like he has a head wound. I am not really sure when he would have gotten that. Did you hit him? - I did, Duncan looks at you, I didn't hit him. Did you hit him? - He's the one who hit me. My head hurts so bad, he hit me like a hammer or something.

I woke up, he was trying to choke me. I was killing him while he was sitting there. - She's gonna sigh and just like, again, just kind of exasperates us like, okay, all right, we're gonna clean your clothes, we're gonna clean this room. Go downstairs, get some food and we'll take care of everything up here. - Yes, ma'am. (laughing) - Edward stuggishly makes his way out of the room. - Shuffles out of the room head down. - So on the way past David, I want to smack the pot lid out of his hand. - Okay, I was about to say like, he's gonna, and he's gonna kind of grimace, like kind of try to convey a look to Yennward, like I didn't want to do that.

Like that's not, that was my idea. 'Cause Yennward has to duck to get out of the room. That is largely intimidating for, you know, for, you know, five foot nine David, who is just standing on the other, it's like, so Yennward is going to eclipse all the light coming from the room and just sort of duck into the hallway and then move past and slap this out of his hand. - Is there gonna be a role for that, like for when it hits the ground or is that? - Well, no, there's just a direct consequences. It's going to kind of hit the floor here and clatter and make more noise.

(groaning) - So when we walk out, are we, is it like David and then Diana and Soon Soon, like in a row, like watching us? - Yeah, kind of, yeah. Kind of a walk of shame type of thing. - Okay, how do our party members look as we walk by them? - Shaking my head at you the entire time. - How about Diana? - She's not gonna, is Malchus following them? - I imagine he's, yeah, he's kind of getting up and just kind of shuffling along. - Okay, so she's gonna kind of stop him. Just walk and just look at him for a second. And then firstly, if you ever speak to me like you did last night again, there will be consequences.

Secondly, once you have recovered your facilities, your mother would like to speak with you and you should really treat her with more respect. And then she's gonna turn and walk down the stairs. - You ain't gotta take that, that's your mama. Treat her who you want. - Well, that's right, Malchus did hit on Diana. Does he remember that? - As Malchus, as she's walking away and going down the stairs, Malchus just kind of like raises an eyebrow at her and goes, thanks mom. Just walks away. - His mom's right there. (laughing) His actual mom. - No, he's saying it to Diana.

- Yeah, yeah. - I know. That's 'cause his actual mom is like two feet away. - Such a brat. - All right, so getting downstairs, the smell of fresh cooked meats and breakfast foods and hot biscuits and everything are gonna hit all of you at once. Which normally would be amazing to wake up to. That's tremendous. It's like waking up in a ritzy hotel and you have free run of the place. That is great. For you guys though, it is a stomach churning event that nearly causes all of you to vomit. - What's coffee? (laughing) - They do have strong teas and things like that.

- Okay. - There is a hangover remedy in Theria. There is, I mean that is something that this house would possess. David specifically is getting something together to really take the edge off. So that is something. That is something that Theria has over the real world. - Okay, so where's everybody at right now? Like the three people. - I would say like living room area. - All right, cool. Just wondering. - I was just gonna grab a very strong tea and like a loaf of bread and just, okay, go sit at a table quietly by myself. - Your grief role might be appropriate in this situation.

- So I'm assuming you guys aren't eating. - No, I think just fluids. - Yeah, just, okay. Do you guys wanna talk about anything before we move on? - Okay, someone else was speaking up, so. - Theo is going to shuffle out of the room eventually. Like after you guys get sorted and sit down, Theo is going to eventually slowly make his way down the stairs, very much using the banister as leverage so that he doesn't tumble down the stairs face first. And almost sort of a zombie shuffle he is going to, he is going to find the nearest place to sit down and he is going to sort of slump into a chair.

His shirt has been taken off of him and it looks like someone has taken a wet rag to his face. You're guessing, Tessia? So he's just kind of sitting there in his boots and pants and he just looks like a hot mess. - Okay, Duncan is going to go up to you and word. Hey man, you wanna go feel this guy out a little bit? - All right. - Okay, so go ahead. - Go ahead. - I was going to say, so we just kind of mosey on over to the table and sit on either side of him. - Yeah, he's going to do that thing where like, like he'll bully at a lunch table, he sits behind his chair and kind of puts his hands on the back of the chair so he can't scooch back out.

- Oh, like you're getting real? Like you turn the chair backwards and your hat backwards. (laughing) This is real talk guys. - What's rap? - That's rap. And Duncan kind of leans on the table and goes, "Whoa, rough night, huh Theo?" I wanna die. - Those are his first words. Just, it's kind of like horse, like his voice is straining to get anything out. And he's just, he's almost sobbing into his hands. - I'll kill you after you tell me who sent you. (laughing) - What? - You attacked me in the night, you assassin in the darkness. - You forced me to drink with you.

And I didn't wanna, I wanted carrot juice. This is all I wanted. You forced me to drink. - Nope, nope, I don't remember any of that, nope. - Duncan just like takes his hand and puts it on his shoulder. Theo's shoulder kind of rubs a little bit. He's like, "Hey buddy, it's all right. We're friends here, man. Don't worry about it. It's all good now, okay? We're safe. We're safe now." Just rubs his, just rubbing his shoulder the whole time. - I feel like I've done a thousand setups. - And he goes, "Look, this guy, my buddy over here, you know, Ynward from last night.

I'm sorry about him. He's just, we're all not feeling, we're all feeling it. I mean, you know how it feels. We're all feeling it, okay. But he's going through some stuff. I just wanna say, it's nice to have you in the party. I can't wait to get out on the road and see what you're made of, you know, when we start adventuring together." - What? Sorry. - No, that's a great idea. We're taking you prisoner. - No, he's not a prisoner. He's our ally. He's our mate. We're running out together. - He stabbed me in the head with something. - No, he didn't. You fell. - You kidnapped me.

- I remember you. - You. - And he's pointing at Ynward. - You, you threw me over your shoulder and you, you dropped me out of the bar. I can't go back there now. - No, you bought us drinks and then you said you were gonna join our group. That's what happened, man. - He's gonna reach, he's gonna reach for the gold that was on his waist and see that it's gone. - You robbed me. (laughing) - Oh my God, you robbed me in front of everyone and then drug me into the, I can't go back there? I can't, I, I, oh God. Like it's all, you can see it like flashing over. It's all coming back to me.

- How much did you have? - It was 500. Oh God, I was, I was being paid to watch someone. - Oh, you're watching? That was your bounty? I'm only worth 500 gold? - Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, what? - Duncan's, Duncan's shushing Ynward and he kinda leans in and he goes, who, who are you paid to watch? - See, the guy, he gave me, he gave me 500 just to watch someone at the bar and just let him know when he left. I never reported back, oh God. - Well, I guess, who was it? Who were you supposed to watch? - It was a tiefling named Aronis. - Malchus. - Who's the, do you know him?

What? - You meant to say Malchus, right? - Does, does that name sound like, does that dude run in tiefling circles? Did that sound familiar? Does that? - Do me a favor, roll a streetwise check. - I don't know if I have that skill. Let's see. - I do. - I do. - Ynward has streetwise? - Dude, I have a plus nine, yeah. - That's amazing. - Oh, I am trained. Wait, no. Oh no, I just have wicked high charisma. - I think the canon reason for that was Clarissa used to come downstairs and tell me everything that was going on in the town since I couldn't go up to armor. - I really hope this is an indication that I'm like burning out all my bad rolls on non-combat stuff.

- Yeah. - You'd think it would work like that, but it doesn't. - I want it. - I know, how's the 16 work out? - 16 is, the name sounds vaguely familiar. More local thug than anything. - Jason, if I, Dan would be close enough to listen, can I roll? - Go ahead. I would say we'll count Susan's too. - Could I roll? - Sure. - Just serious. - 'Cause we're all rolling. - Would a history be applicable? - So I have a 34. - I guess it's only fair if Thea rolls also. - Yeah, you're streetwise as well. - Would a history roll be applicable? - No, this guy is not historically relevant.

- For some reason, Duncan knows everything about it. - Duncan, it's gonna flash across Duncan's mind. Last night, he is going to remember seeing a wanted poster for Aronis Valera, a male tiefling who was last seen in Brightport. Though you don't know his face, you know that he is wanted. There's a 5,000 gold bounty for him for murder. So, yeah. - So wait, wait, wait, Thea. You were being paid to watch this guy, right? - Uh-huh. - Okay, who was paying you to watch him? - I don't know. He kind of was threatening though, and he's gonna raise the palm of his hand up to his forehead again and squint as he's trying to remember.

He paid me 500 gold to watch him. He said he'd be very disappointed though if I didn't get back to him. - Do you think you can get back to him? Do you know where he is? Not the guy who's paying you, but the tiefling you were supposed to watch. - I don't know where anyone is. (laughing) - I'd like to clasp his shoulder right here. - Okay. - All right, at this point, can I pour him a glass of splitter and offer it to him? - Oh, Jesus Christ. - Well, he's gonna say like, "Here, drink this. "It's medicine, here." Is that a diplomacy check, like for him to believe him?

- That's a bluff if you're lying. - Well, he's looking like this will make you feel better, like right now. He's not saying that this will make you feel better right now, but it'll make you feel like shit also. Do we have a roll of diplomacy check then? - He's almost trained in diplomacy. Is it plus eight? - No. - That's enough. (laughing) - Thea's gonna take this from you thinking it's like water or something. Then the smell is gonna hit him. It's like that smells like, in the real world, that would smell like a mixture of witch hazel and gasoline. - It's good for you.

- And it's gonna hit his nose and just like, "Nope, nope." And put that down on the table. - Are you nuts? - Dyrthek, thank you. Hey, Theo, do you mind if I talk to my friends real quick and then we can huddle up here in a bit and talk about our next move, what we're gonna do as a group? - Yeah. - Okay. - I can't leave this house. - Hey, do you have any gear? Do you need some gear, some swords or somethings? We kinda plucked you out of nothing, so if you need some protection, if you need something to fight with, might be able to help you out a little bit.

- Are you leaving the city? - I mean, we're going to eventually, yeah. - Okay. Okay. I get a cut? - We'll talk about it, yeah. (laughing) - I mean, you're in the group, so yeah. Okay, go ahead, sorry. - He's gonna shimmy because Yennward's sort of blocking his chair so he can't scooch back. So he has to do this really awkward like limbo out of his seat. - Just gonna lift up my cheek up and just went. - Yeah, just, so he's gonna kind of like, scooch out from there and then stand up and then kind of like use Duncan's shoulder as support, like, okay, okay, okay.

And he's gonna like keep repeating that as he kind of floats across the room, just, yeah. - Would Tessia be able to kind of, since she was like took us to the shop and everything, would she just give him like light stuff, like generic kind of basic stuff? - Yeah, this would, they, yeah, she would be able to, she would be able to outfit him, yeah, if talked to. Around this time, David is going to catch up with the group and he's gonna offer you this small blue vial and he's gonna offer that to Yennber Duncan and Malchus. - I don't, I trust him completely, I just drink it.

Drink it down. - Okay. And he's very apologetically to Yennber just like, hey, like, he's even gonna lean in. I'm really sorry about the noise. That kind of had to be done though. - Didn't have to be done. I'll mimic Yennber Duncan and drink it. - And he's gonna hand one to Malchus. - Malchus will drink it too, yeah. - Okay, so within minutes here, you three are going to, the pressure in your head is gonna start to alleviate a bit, a little bit, subside, and you're gonna, it's gonna be very manageable. You're not gonna feel good, but you're not gonna feel like you're going to die if you walk outside in the sunlight.

- Can I kind of call the group together? Actually, yeah, can I kind of call the group together? Maybe sit at all one table or something, just? - Sure, there's plenty of room. - Okay. Okay, look, I know that we had plans. We were talking about going and getting some dwarves and stuff, but I think we have an in on making some cash here if we want to. Now it's, I mean, it's gonna involve some fighting and some killing and whatever, but Theo over there knows about a bounty on somebody for 5,000 gold that we could probably get. I mean, look at us, I don't. - May I ask what it is you're going to be asking about?

I signed up to fight and to kill. It seems as though we have drunk and had merry-ment of fun, but no fighting nor killing. - Well, I- - How much news? (laughing) - And I look at him and I said, and I go, look, this not only involves everything you're asking about, but it also means that we get paid. - Potentially. - He's gonna take a deep sigh, but like, yes, payment. That is what I'm in this for. - We don't know nearly enough about the situation to presume any things such as that. - But this is the way, and this is how we're gonna find out. All we're doing is going and asking and seeing what's up.

- We'll also just go ahead and leave Brightport. - Whichever means we get to kill something faster, I'm with that. - All right, let's take the kids to the murder sandbox. - David would still be hanging around after doling these little hangover remedies out to the group here. So you're asking him about the bounty specifically or that person specifically? - Both. - So after giving it some thought, the name itself doesn't sound very familiar, though I will tell you we have employed a few criminals here. We had a recent problem with manpower and we've actually offered a lot of local criminals a fresh start.

If they'd like to make an honest day's wages here in the house, we've managed to work with the city and get whatever bounty that they had on their heads reduced or sometimes eliminated entirely. For people wanted for murder and robbery, things like that, that is a different story. - I presume you have records of who exactly you've employed? - Of course, yeah. We can get those to you. Aronas does not sound like anyone that we would have here at the house. There is a bounty board in town where you could get more information, possibly a sketch of what this person looks like.

I'm guessing Theodore would know, being as how he was watching him for most of the evening. - A sign on a bounty board, that would have an issuer, right? That we could trace it back to? - Most are issued by the city themselves. There's a complaint lodged and sometimes people want to remain anonymous. Actually, the problem in Brightport is once people know who was looking for them, it's much quicker to just murder the person. Who is willing to pay for them. So most bounties are kept anonymous and you could claim bounties through offices, but that's easier said than done.

- Do you know-- - Although-- - Oh, sorry. - Go ahead. - Go, go. - Although I suspect you lot wouldn't have much of a problem. - Do you know who might have paid Theo to keep an eye on this person? It could be any number of people, to be honest. - Hmm, naturally, just, I prefer to avoid getting into too big of a mess here. - Okay, Duncan just stares at Diana. (laughing) - What? - Just, it just kind of snickers a little bit and shakes his head and just looks back over at David. - There was a, I'm sorry, there was a giant mess of two people that exploded outside.

That was the joke that he was making. - Oh. - Yeah, and it did murder a couple of people, horrendously. (laughing) - So, you know. - The way Diana defines a mess, like dealing with House Silverclaw or just murdering a couple people. - So why don't you just, then let's ask. Is it, will it, I'll ask. - Well, I mean, like he said, it could be one, so. - Well, I mean, are any of these bounties gonna have anything to do with like city politics or deals with the houses usually, or are they just gonna be like, go get a criminal and take them back? - Most times it's, a party will feel wronged or someone wants revenge, something like that.

That's mostly what you're going to be dealing with. In rare cases, some of the more well-to-do people in Brightport will have lost a loved one and they have no shortage of gold to spend on getting revenge. - What about like a $5,000 bounty? If you had to guess, what would that? - $5,000? - What are dollars? - I apologize, gold. - My guess would be that's a city-issued thing. So that's about as clean as you're going to get in Brightport. - Okay, so why don't we at least go take a look at the board and see if we get anything off of that? - Very well. You know, you don't have to do it if you don't want to.

You can stay here. I'm sure this is something that we can take care of. I mean, I want the money, but I also, I guess I kinda don't know a lot about Asunsoon and Dirthaag yet, and I thought maybe this would be a good opportunity to kind of figure them out a little bit too. But if you don't want to be a part of it, you don't have to. - No, I'm not gonna let the rest of you run into this on your own. - Okay, but if anything makes you uncomfortable, just tell me, okay? - She's just gonna look at him, kind of turn her head a bit and then slowly nod. - No, I'm gonna kind of go up and give her kind of a, I guess he can't really put his hand on her shoulder, so like kind of put her hand on, put his hand on the side of her arm and kind of rub up, like, you know, gently kind of rub up and down, just kind of like, you know, I'm here for you kind of thing.

So I'm thinking maybe we, instead of us all going out there, maybe I should just grab you inward or something and head to the bounty board real quick and grab it and bring it back and then we can kind of see where we go from there. - She'll just nod again. She, it probably wouldn't be like too noticeable, but she does look a bit unsteady, like just. - Should I run a perception check or something and see if I pick up on that, Jason? - You can go ahead. - Oh, yeah. - Almost great. - So Duncan definitely picks up on her feeling that way, but he doesn't want to push it any further and he just kind of, and he'll go again and say, look, if there's anything you need to talk about, there's anything you need to get off your chest, I know that you might not feel close to all of us, but I can at least be a sounding board.

I could sit here and let you yell at me or something for a while if you need to. Then I kind of crack a smile at her. - She's gonna just kind of look at him for a few seconds, just like really just, and just kind of half smile back at him. Then I appreciate the offer very much and I will think it over. Just give me a bit more time. - Okay, just take all the time you need and we're here for you, okay? - So Duncan and Yennward are gonna head out to this bounty board. Luckily today is a bit overcast, so it's not tremendously sunny outside. Looks like it's gonna rain a little later on maybe.

So this bounty board is littered with all kinds of things. Now I'm not gonna read off all the ones for like three, 400 gold, because there are people who would murder other people in Brightport for 20 gold, so. (laughing) There's. - No, Brightport. - Yeah, let's tackle. - Let's tackle those guys. - Let's tackle some of the, yeah, I mean that's the equivalent of like jaywalking. I mean there's, a lot of this is revenge stuff. Almost like, they're the ones that are officially sanctioned by the city, which because of the house system really doesn't hold a lot of sway.

Like you can get a favor from the mayor or something like that, but the mayor has almost no power in the city and everyone knows it. Now the houses, the houses looking for people now, there are official contracts put out by Silverclaw. - Why don't they just kill them themselves? - That's the thing. There are some people that Silverclaw can't touch because of the house system. So if there's someone they wanna target within Dragonkeep or Hammerhand, they can't actually touch. - Bad idea guys. - But they can hire someone else to do it for them. These people are pretty much labeled as untouchables and yeah, if you're looking for something that isn't political, those ain't it.

- Yeah. - You can make a shitload of gold. So looking over this bounty board, you're gonna find Aranas Felira, male tiefling, wanted for murder, 5,000 gold. Last seen in Brightport, you're gonna see Ferra Sealer, human, female, wanted for armed robbery, 3,000 gold. Rufus Sourbeard, dwarf, wanted for multiple counts of murder, 11,000 gold, last seen in Bandit's Rest. Yormann Davis, half-elf, wanted for burglary, 6,000 gold. So you're guessing that probably robbed someone higher up and those people are pretty pissed. This person was last seen just outside of Brightport and you'd know the area for having a lot of caves, kind of a patchwork of forest, things like that.

It's near Bandit's Rest. Valis Grimness, the butcher of Brightport, male tiefling, wanted for multiple counts of murder, armed robbery, burglary, extortion, mutilation, 15,000 gold. That one might be a little difficult to collect. Malchus Grimness, wanted for questioning in the city of Winterhaven, 20,000 gold. Very specifically labels him as wanted alive. - Then we completed the job, we get the money, right? (laughing) - If you were to take him back to Winterhaven, yes. - Oh, I thought it just meant he's wanted alive, we have him, so therefore just give us-- - Well, you wanted one of the life in Winterhaven, that's very specific.

- So we go there and we just leave with the money. Let me take Rob with us. If you just want to check up on it. - Okay, first off, what's the deal with the bounty board? If we take-- - Oh, there are multiple copies of these all over. - Yeah, it's kind of, thick picture, kind of like the guitar lessons type of thing. Most of these wanted posters come with some sort of sketch, some sort of rough idea of what the person looks like and then an airplane goes by. - Just like drops bounties. - Yeah. - Like leaflets, yeah. - It's like dropping food in Somalia. - There are at least a couple that were near bandits, so if we're going there anyways, might as well take some cash.

- Yeah, a couple near Bandits Rest. - Yeah, I know, hmm, I wonder. - Oh, there's a few in Bandits Rest, a lot of these, it's a notorious hiding spot. It is a rat nest. - Literally called Bandits Rest. - Yes, there's a good reason why that forest has its name. If you were to walk into Bandits Rest and there are multiple bounties and you'd find more of them probably along the way, there are multiple postings just outside of Bandits Rest, you guys could make tens of thousands of them. - So really it's probably easier to just go ahead and go in Bandits Rest and just take the heads of everyone we kill along the way and then come back and see if any match up to bounties.

- We could go on a kill crazy rampage murder spree, yeah. - If we were to just take all the copies, would we have to be sneaky about it? - Oh, they're all over. There's a bounty board, but when you get into the level of gold that you'd be after for getting these, this is not one central location. That is a trick that people learned a very long time ago. There is no honor system in Brightport. - I was hoping it was like a bounty brochure table with like a stack of each bounty. - Yeah, there are multiple postings on the board itself. - Trifle business. - Okay, role play, real talk.

- Duncan is staring straight at a certain bounty. He's completely distracted. Like the other bounties don't matter. He's squared up on one. - Hey, Yann, we're in. Do me a favor, roll a perception check. - Sure. - Oop, 17. You're gonna see that Duncan is staring directly at the bounty for Rufus. Duncan will kind of snap out of it. He'll look at the piece of paper, the one that he's looking for. Yeah, he'll take the Aronas one. And while he's at it, he'll just grab a handful of the Malchus. Like all of them, just, you know. - Next. And let's take these. - Yeah, let's take these.

And he takes all of those and after staring at it a little bit more, he reaches up and he grabs the Rufus Sourbeard one and puts it in his bag. And he looks again where it just makes a motion to let's go back to the house. - I'll follow Duncan. - Okay. - Okay, so back at the house, what are you gonna share as far as the bounty board goes? Like what were your findings, that kind of thing? I imagine Malchus would be curious. - First thing I do is I take, and I'm noticeably much more serious than normal. And I take the handful of Malchus bounties and I just push it at him and I say, "Here, you're welcome." And I hand them over to Malchus.

- Malchus just like takes, about how many are we talking, Jason? - Oh, this is like 10 or 12. When you get a bounty that high, there are, it's kind of plastered everywhere on the board. That's the fucking 20,000 gold. I mean, like I said, there are people who would kill for 20. - Yeah, Malchus just like takes one and kind of folds it up just for like keeping, as far as like a record of seeing what people want for him, things like that. And then just tosses the rest of them in the fireplace. And looks at Duncan and says, "Nice job." - Duncan nods. Then he kind of gets the party together and takes the, not the Rubus bounty, but the other one and kind of puts it on the table in the middle.

And I said, "Okay, this is the info that we have right now." - Okay, so who was the guy that we're going after again? It's the T-Fling, right? - Aranis Valera, yeah, the T-Fling. - All right, does it say like last known location or whatevers? - Yep, well, Brightport was his last known location. He was literally being watched in the same bar you were in the previous night. - Oh, so he was actually there? - Yes. - That's something, we could have got him. All right, Dirthass is just gonna open his mouth and say, "Okay, let's go kill something. Let's get this guy." - Is Theo around?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Is he geared up? - Last suit he's ever gonna wear. - Geared up in- - Is this good butter knife? - Yeah, geared up in that he is wearing the most basic of basic, like the guy has, like, okay. In Therian adventurer terms, this is basically handing, like handing someone pepper spray so that they could fend somebody off in a parking lot late at night. - Okay, is it like Pip in the Two Towers? Like when they dress him up? - Pip was more geared up than, he had a helmet. - Theo, Theo essentially has like a short sword and like he's got some basic leather armor going and a backpack.

- So, like, picture a heist movie. Okay. - Like Ocean's 11, like you're fucking- - And I'm just like, Theo's our inside man. (laughing) - And he is very much out of his depth. Like he is conveying that in his actions, in his presence, in his stance, everything. It's just like he's looking at the short sword like, okay, okay. Like he's just like, he's very much coming to grips with us. - Theo, tell us everything you know about this guy. - What? (laughing) - Dirth Egg, get it out of him, come on. (laughing) - That might not, we probably shouldn't say that that could be misinterpreted.

- Okay. Good point. - Can I just slam my hatchet down on the table? - Sure. - Yeah, that's intimidating. I'm doing stuff. - Do me a favor, roll an intimidation check. - Okay, that's a 23, that's not great. - 23, I was about to say, you are trained to intimidate, I know that. Yeah, that's enough to pretty much make Theo piss himself. Two things are going to happen. Theo's going to reflexively drop his sword to the ground and freeze, deer in the headlights freeze looking at Dirth Egg. 'Cause again, Dirth Egg is a full on orc. The race most, the most synonymous with outright murder, rape pillaging, anything you would think of a savage violent race like the orcs, that's what he's gonna associate Dirth Egg with.

And you're gonna hear his sword just kind of clatter to the ground. The next thing you're going to hear is Tessia clear her throat near the party and shoot a look over to Dirth Egg. Really fucker? Like really? - He's gonna take it out of the table and just put it right back inside his satchel. (laughing) - I'm just picturing Dirth Egg like very slowly, just like, sorry. - Just kind of pry it out of the table. - He's gonna also expertly put the map right on the actual, the whole of it so it's like, I hit it, good. I hit it, good, let's go find out. (laughing) - What map?

- But Dirth Egg's gonna find out that hanging out with city folk isn't all it's cracked up to. (laughing) - He's rough schmider than this, this is good. - The derp derp derp, he marries a carrot. - Okay, okay, so Duncan picks the sword up. (laughing) It kind of just places it back in frozen thieves. It kind of tries to shake him and snap him out of it a little bit, does he get any reaction from that? - Yeah, he's gonna break out of contact with Dirth Egg, especially after he sees the weapon get put away. - Okay. - He's a thinner tiefling, I think he was, the guy who paid me, I think he thought he was gonna flee, leave town.

- Okay. - So he had me watch him. And just if he made a move, I was supposed to get back to him and let him know. - Okay, well, you were worried about 500 gold, we're gonna make 5,000 gold, 'cause we're gonna find this guy, okay? - Wait, what are we gonna do when we find him? - What do you think? - We're going to do what you do to people who are on bounty boards. And then Malkus stops for a moment and he looks down at the pocket where he stuffed the flyer, and he's like, "Other people who you find on bounty boards." (laughing) - I've never killed anyone.

- This all is the first time for everything. - Okay, a moment here, because as fun a change of pace as this has been, I'm not going to be responsible for sending the waif to his death. And Malkus looks over at Theo and says, "Look, if you want out, if this isn't what you're up for, no harm, just point us in the right direction and we'll do what we do." - And we can just send you back out onto the streets and you can live amongst everyone else, it's fine. - You can be poor for the rest of your life or make it rich with us adventurers. (laughing) - I didn't say I didn't want money, and I'm not a waif.

That is the third time you have called me that. I am, I take great offense. - Oh, your hand must have just been slippery when the sword dropped there, my apologies. Look, all joking aside, if you are in for this, you are putting your life on the line. We have had people die before fighting alongside of us. - I did. - It's not like this should be terribly dangerous, especially with the rest of us there. Can you just stand back and watch? - And don't worry about it. If you die and you're supposed to come back, you'll come back. It's not a big deal, let's go.

- Dana's gonna give Duncan a look. (laughing) - She'll look over Duncan and shake his head like, "I don't think that's right." - Yeah, wait. - Does anybody interrupt me or are they just looking at me? - No, just looking at you. - Okay, that's fine, I have no problem with that. (laughing) - Seriously though, are you taking your life into your hands? - He is going to sheathe his sword. Well, it's not like I can go back to the bar and I kind of feel like now my time in the city is growing short. So you know what? Let's go get him. Let's saddle up and we'll, let's go get it done.

- You don't have a horse. You have a horse, right? We don't have a horse for you. - I do not own a horse, no. - Really, it is a wonder how you've managed to survive in the city for this long. - You're just so terrible. - Duncan puts his fist out. - I don't know, wait, what do you, are you going to punch me? What are we doing? - Hit my fist with your fist, please. - I like that even Duncan is losing patience. I was like, dude, I'm trying, just. - Does intelligence score like two? - He's gonna, he's gonna, he just doesn't have much bardic knowledge. Not a lot of bards in Brightport.

Funny story about that, there used to be, but so. He's gonna outstretch his fist and bump Duncan. He's very, very unsure of himself. Just kind of like, okay. - Okay, now we need to find this guy. Who do we go to when we want information, Theo? - I mean, I could, I could, I could find out. I mean, I, I mean, I know people in the city. I have value. I could, I could, I could find out. - Okay, so you want to take this? So you just want us to. - Yeah, give me, give me, give me 20 minutes. I can, I can go find out. I just need to kind of lay low a bit because now, thanks to you, I'm probably wanted by.

- Well, if it all goes like it often does, whoever wants you will be dead by the end of the day, so. - Do you think we should send protection? Maybe, Dirthag, do you want to go with them or Susan? - I'm gonna look at Theo. If Theo thinks he can handle this, I don't believe I have to go. I could go to the house Hammerhand and ask around there. But other than that, it is up to Theo. - I've got this. I can, I can, now he's kind of spurred on by the wave comment. Like that is, think, think the Marty McFly calling him a chicken. - Oh, Malphus's actions having unintended consequences.

(laughing) All right, sure. - He has another person's death he's gonna get. - You find Theo's body later. - Hurry back, Theo the Terrible. - Malphus is another person you've killed with your thoughtless words. - People are responsible for their own actions here, all right? (indistinct) - That was the joke. - Malphus was very, very specific. He's like, are you taking your life? Yeah. - Dirthag, I also offered it to Dirthag. Does he wanna? - All right, he's gonna ask him, are you sure you don't want me to go with you? - I am very sure I don't want you to go with me.

- Okay. - Malphus is gonna snort. - With him saying that, is that glass of splitter still around? - Yeah. - Okay, he's gonna grab it and give it to him and say, here, drink this. (laughing) - You're gonna go alone here, drink this. - Okay, is this raw forgetfulness or is this just- - Kind of like a shot of like- - Liquid courage. - Yeah, liquid courage, exactly. - So it's more, it's dangerous to go alone, take this. - Take this glass of knockout juice. To him, it's not knockout juice, it's feel good juice. So it like gets him ready to fight. - Right. - But for him, he's a waif, so.

- So, okay, Theo's gonna look at Dirthag like, what are you not getting about? Like, no, I don't drink, I don't drink. He's gonna kind of hold like his hand up to his chest, just like pleading like, I don't drink. - Diana's got a reason I brought that. - Can I use an ability? - Oh dear. - Oh no. (laughing) - I want to use try to stick. I want to use try to stick. That's where I use my intimidating bonus on my diplomacy. - I think you can just intimidate him straight up. - Try to get him to drink it. If you want to be like, put your face. - I wanted to make it seem like it's his idea.

So I want to say, here, I fucking said, drink this. This will help you. - 32. That'll do it. - Oh my God. - How are you doing this? - I'm gonna grab the back of his neck and start maneuvering it to his face. - Is anyone gonna intervene? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So Duncan, can Duncan try to run a diplomacy on Dirthag? - Well, you can't make Dirthag do something he doesn't want to do unless you're gonna physically restrain him. So what you could do is, so the scene in front of you is Dirthag's like, okay, well, you're gonna go out there, take this. Theo's like, no, I don't drink.

Dirthag's gonna reach his big meaty mitt behind Theo's neck and just pull him in while pressing the glass up against his lip. And Theo's very much like type of, (grunting) - I got it, I got it. - And it's just like forcing. - I got it, I got it. Dirthag, Dirthag. And he kind of waves his hands. Dirthag. That's gonna make it worse. I know that for orcs, it helps and it gives you, it makes you strong. But for him, for this way, I mean, this guy here, we need him at his peak mental, we need him to be smart and that will make him not smart. - Yes, it will make him not smart.

- Theo is going to shoot again, still very much like, but his eyes are gonna dart over to Diana. Just kind of like, hey, but still. - We're really cooking up a fierce batch of like adventure and disdain right now. Like, oh, you don't live like us. - You ain't no man. Okay, I still love his line, he's like, you're just so terrible. (laughing) - Malchus chimes in, go on Theo, you get this job done and we'll all toast tall mugs of carrot juice. - Okay, he's gonna come back and say like, either I go with you or you drink. Liquid courage. It's good for you. - He'll start to like try to wriggle his face away a bit.

He's like, fine, you can go with me. - All right, can I down the glass? - Yeah, go right ahead. - Great, all right, what is that? A check on endurance? - It's an endurance check, but you get a plus two to it because you're an orc. - That's actually, it helps. - Oh wow. - That's a crit man. - Yeah, you don't feel this at all. - If anything, he gets stronger. - Yeah, like a monster truck. - It's just like, very intelligent and smooth. - He's just in the zone. - It's like the nutty professor and shit. - Sorry if I hurt you. He starts petting the back of his head. - Oh my, I do seem to have been a bit rough with you.

- Maybe you just make me feel this way. - Does Death egg really do the sorry if I hurt you in pets now? Oh, damn it, okay. - Yeah, there's nothing, trust me, there's no lore and theory about skull splitters making, skull splitters shots making fucking orcs more diplomatic or intelligent or anything. Okay, so Theo and Dirthak are going to leave. What I'd like to do is, I'm going to have Theo run a diplomacy check. - Oh good. - So we're just gonna have time pass, picture it like a sitcom of them walking out the door, star wipe or some fucking like the time wipe and then they come back in.

This is going to be the result of-- - Goes back and goes forward. - Yeah, so here's what we're going to do. We're gonna have Theo run diplomacy, 24, okay. Not at all, Theo done good. He does have decent stats somewhere in his person. So Theo and Dirthak are going to make it back and Theo is going to inform the party that (sighs) he is indeed being looked for because apparently Aronas owed some people a lot of money and decided to skip town last night, late last night and was last seen heading for bandits rest. - That's convenient. - As a result, the bounty has been up to 7,500 gold.

- I heard somebody whisper bandits rest and I was just thinking like every time Jason says bandits rest, we should all just like whisper in our middle, bandits rest, bandits rest. (laughing) So the bounty is higher and he skipped town headed toward bandits rest? - Yep. - Bandits rest. - So this seems like a place where like a whole bunch of quests now we can just knock out and just get a shitload of money XP and bring it back. - Oh, you guys, like if you can live through it, you could make tens of thousands of gold. There's specifically, if you could, I wouldn't recommend this, but that's where the new vole are stationed in the rear of bandits rest.

You could make upwards of 150,000 gold if you were to take in certain individuals. But again, play it by ear. - Malchus takes the stack of bounties we have real quick and like sorts out how many of them are located in bandits rest. - We only have one. - Oh, I thought we grabbed like a few. We didn't? - I grabbed a few. - I grabbed, I grabbed. - Can we just say that you grabbed a few? (laughing) - Just make up. - Well, you grabbed Rufus and you know that Aronis. - I haven't showed them Rufus yet though. - No, no. - And we have, the only one that we have is Aronis.

That's the only one they know about. - And we'll just see who we run into along the way. - Yeah, we could very easily just get heads like Dianna. - Exactly. (laughing) - Just a sack full of human heads. - Okay, so. - We had a bag of hands before. That's not too much of a stretch. - That's true. (laughing) - That worked out well. (laughing) - It did. - It kind of did. - But like that started a tyrant. - Over the years. - We're heroes. - Hey man, I'm not the one with the nickname stumps, so. (laughing) - Well, they were definitely minimal. - So you guys want to go into bandits rest?

Is that all right with you? - He's gonna say this kind of like undertone just directed towards Duncan. - Duncan reaches in his bag. He unfolds the bounty, puts it on the table and he pushes it in the middle of the group. - Who's this fellow? - That's my real father. - Do any of us, I guess, Jason, do any of us recognize the name? - Anything more than local thug. That's pretty much, he is very much wanted in Brightport, multiple counts of murder. As scumbags go, even in Brightport, the scumbags of Brightport would view this guy as a scumbag. Yeah, he has a small clique that he hangs out with, but outside of that, there is absolutely no honor to this guy.

He will slit your throat just as soon as kind of deal with you, so that very, very shitty character. - How long has he been wanted in Brightport? - Oh, years. - Okay, so Diana would recognize him. - Yeah, you don't get 11,000 gold in bounty without making a lot of enemies. To give you an idea, the people who dwell within, Valus is the only one who lives in Brightport or did until recently that has a higher bounty that that's just because of the many, many people he's pissed off. - Malchus kind of crouches down next to Duncan and says, "Well, how do you feel about it?

Do you want to bring him in? Are you conflicted? Would you prefer to let him go?" - Duncan isn't looking at Malchus. Duncan is looking at the paper. There's no reason that this man should be alive. I've already killed one father. In that one, I didn't even want to kill. If we're going into Bandit's Rest, I can't come out without his head. - Then speaking at least for myself, I'm at your side. And Malchus kind of looks to the rest of the group for consensus. - Diana will nod. - I threw him by your side. - Dirthag, this will involve stabbing. - Okay, I'm with you, yeah.

Yeah. - Thea's gonna put his hand in a circle. (laughing) - Everybody shake their head, everybody shake their head, everybody shake their head. - Diana's gonna just look really confused at what he's doing. She doesn't have a reference for what that would mean. - Malchus is kind of just choking back a laugh for a sec. He goes, "Why the hell not? Come on, get in here with carrot juice." - Is this, I have a question, Jason. Would there be any kind of like, Therian reason that he would do this? - It's more like, it's very, it's the same people, the same reason people do it in the real world.

It's more like a team bonding thing, like, "All right, go team." 'Cause first of all, this is like, "Huh, I got the info, guys." Like, first of all, he got nothing for that. Like, he thought people were going to kind of like, "Hey, good job." Nothing. So it's like, "All right, okay. Well, I'm at least gonna be in on the killing thing." He has no idea. Like, he has no idea what you guys are really signing up for but, you know, he's more, it's like, "Yeah, I can pretty much just kinda hide behind the big furry one and everything will be fine." (laughing) - Malchus will meet him halfway here.

Malchus will put his hand in the circle. - Diana just is utterly baffled. She has no idea what's going on. - He'll put his, Dirthass is gonna put his hand right on Malchus's 'cause he made a new friend today. - I love it. Malchus just kinda looks, he looks around at the party members who aren't participating and he's just like, "Ah, ah." - Okay, can Duncan kinda look at Malchus like, "You don't understand the gravity of the situation." He's very insensitive right now. It's like, 'cause he's just, like Malchus is just sitting there like a buffoon, like, "Eh?" (laughing) I think it's more like- - Diana's gonna look towards Duncan, see the look on his face and then shoot a glare towards Malchus.

- Oh, this is on cold form. - I think it's more like, "Come on, let's support our new team member," type of thing. I don't think it's like, not to take away from- - Oh yeah, it wasn't trying to like, you know. - So Duncan just very lackadaisically, like, "I'll humor these guys," just puts his hand right in, like, almost like his middle finger's touching, but the rest like, you know? (laughing) The rest of it's just kinda hanging off and he just kinda looks at Diana and makes a motion like, "Just do it." - What are you doing? - Just do it. (laughing) - She's gonna very tentatively place her hand towards the center.

- What about Esusun? (laughing) - I mean, mine just covers everybody else's hand. - Big lion. - He's a big fucking lion, Paul. - I like how this was like a deep moment about like, "Guys, I'm gonna go kill my father. "I gotta take his head." And then Fauzi Feal kicks down the door and like, "Bakalaka!" (laughing) - Theo has no bearing on the situation whatsoever. He's been kidnapped in this, so it's more like, "Do this or you'll probably die here." Like, it's like, "All right, so fine." - Okay, so we all, we have our heartwarming goatee going. - Power Rangers!

- No, I feel like everyone else does it the day and is just still like with their hand in his eye, like, "What's going on?" - If we all just are like standing there for a second in awkward silence and nobody else says anything to break it, Malchus just kind of looks around and he goes, "Killing for profit!" And then he like brings his hand. - Theo's just kind of like jazzed, like, "Yeah, all right, okay, we're gonna do this." Like he has no fucking clue what's about to happen. - While we're in the circles looking, Theo dead in the eyes, just like in my own head, "You're so terrible.

You're so goddamn terrible." (laughing) - Like Theo's presence would probably be directly insulting to someone like, to someone like a Susan, because like the entire Lion Folk culture is like, train from birth to be a warrior. You're strong and proud and like the combat is life. - Exactly what Theo is. - And then like you look at Theo and it's like, "You are a walking derp. Like you, you, you have no value. You are a red shirt." (laughing) - Before we leave, maybe we should jump back by the bounty board and kind of pick up any extra bounties that are in Bandit's Rest.

- Sure, you can do that. - Well, okay, so let's send someone out to go do that because if we go by there, I just don't want to go back there with Malchus and get nicked jumped, so. - So, okay, I'm gonna give you all the bounties that you'd probably, you can actually just take a copy of every bounty on the bounty board and if you were to run into somebody. (laughing) I mean, there's nothing really stopping you. Hell, if you ran into Valus, you could try and collect that bounty if you wanted. (laughing) - It might be 14. - It's 15,000, no that's. Yeah, Valus is worth 15,000 currently in Brightport.

- If we kill him during the NPC fight, can we collect that? (laughing) - That was a dream sequence, that doesn't count. Okay, so leaving the city of Brightport. You guys are on the road here. I would say that, so are you on foot? - Okay, so we're gonna be going into a forest and we're also gonna be fighting a lot. Might be best to just, 'cause I mean, since we're gonna have to go back to Brightport to collect the bounties anyways if we live, so it might be best to leave the horses there for now. - Are the bounties like, does it matter if they're dead or not?

- Most of them, no, actually. Some of these people, they'd prefer to be dead. They wanna know that the problem's taken care of. There are a couple of people, like Malchus specifically needs to be taken in alive. There is no option for him to be dead. Like he's worth nothing to no one dead. I mean, there are people who want him dead, but you can't ask questions of a dead person, essentially. So that one's very specific. The only other one that they would have, it was like, oh wow, if you could bring them in alive, there's a bump in the bounty and that would be Rufus Sourbeard.

But that's- - Well, that's not gonna happen. - That's gonna be tough. - Sourdough. - Just a refresher who Rufus Sourbeard is? - Duncan's dad. - Oh, okay. - Currently worth 11,000 gold for multiple murders. - It's perfect, 'cause we get to clear up some character stuff and get cash at the same time, guys. - Cash is always good. - How much is he worth alive? - He'd be worth 14 if you brought him in alive. - Huh. - So much. - Hopefully we won't die. - So. - Be awful if we died. - All right, so there's the way the road works. Leaving Brightport, you're gonna be traveling for miles and miles, and then there's gonna be, there's gonna be a split off in the road.

Now, if you were to take the path leading right, that would lead north and that would take you to Aldmore and then Bandits Rest and that area around there. You could also follow the river that runs parallel with the road at that point and you can take Bandits Rest into another way, it depends on how you wanna get in there. It all leads to a shitty place. Bandits Rest is full of, well, bandits and scumbags. And then if you were to take the road leading south, that would be, that would lead to Whiteheadge and then Lockford and places like that. - Not going there, sir.

- Okay, the town that we'd go through, is that the town that we kind of wrecked up before? - Aldmore? - Yeah. - Let's not go there. - That's the worst place. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's where that both looks at. - We should let that place rest for a time. - You'll hit Bandits Rest way before Aldmore. - Yeah. - Well then maybe we should take the road instead of, we're gonna encounter plenty of stuff in Bandits Rest, maybe we should take the road. Well, I don't know because they said, okay, if we take the river, that might be a chance to find somebody on the bounty board because they probably wouldn't be taking the main roads.

- They probably want the main roads because then they can ambush people on the way to a town, like in between towns and shit, so. - Well, they may favor, but if they're on the run, you know. - Roll a streetwise check to see how much you'd know about bandit activity. - I'll do it, I'll do it. - Because that's my thing. - Well, he's doing it, so it's gonna be fun. - I have a good true best. - Can we formally get Theo a crossbow? - Yeah, I would like to do that, actually. - Give him a sword. - No, he's a big boy. - That's just putting him through the wood chipper.

Can we get him a crossbow, Jason? - I don't see why you couldn't give him a crossbow and yeah, we can totally set him up with one. - Okay, I just wanted it said so that we didn't get there later and be like, "Heo, pull your crossbow, you never gave me one." - Yeah, no, I'm not an asshole. - How's he gonna do this? - He's our slinger, he's our kobold slinger. - He's a slinger? - Sling fuck, kobold slingers are fucking worthless. He should be our throat punch, he should be our throat punch, or he gets up there, punched him right in the throat. - Then we might lose.

- Then we might lose. - You don't know that? - I do. - Don't spoil it for us. - I told you last time. - If we went back to the other side of the continent and we kidnapped Po and we swapped him out with Theo, would anyone notice? - Yes. - Well, then he's gonna have Malkus. Then he's gonna be like, "I got you, Malkus, get over here." - That was a joke, yeah. - I know, but I'm just playing along with the joke. - Okay, to Dan's point, if we're trying to stay safe and not attacked, I don't think the roads have exactly been kind to us in the past. So I'm down with River.

- Jason, can we pull a history check on where locations of those legendary weapons you mentioned might be? Just for curiosity. - The Dragon Balls. - The Dragon Balls. - Isn't that a little metagaming if we do that though? - Tiny bit. - Also, on the horse question, maybe it's better if we take the horses after all because we've established that we're going into pretty massive danger. So we want a way to beat a quick retreat. - But some of you don't have horses. - Well, we're probably gonna have horses too. We're in a forest, horses don't do much good there.

And also horses die and I don't want to pay for another horse. - Do you want to? - Okay, if you look at group three's history with horses and trying to get away from stuff on horseback, does it usually end up well? - That's them, it's not us. - Did my streetwise check do anything, Jason? - I think it's gone. - 19, so the best you're gonna know here is that Bandit's Rest is kind of littered with scumbags. Now, the really, the high level ones will be able to send out their own minions and like lesser scumbags to attack the roads and try and ambush people.

Most people on the roads are pretty keen on this idea already, they already know, which is why the practice of shield handing got so popular in Brightport. House Hammerhand is actually completely, that's their business model. They protect people who go out on trade missions or selling goods, transporting goods, that kind of thing from Bandit scumbag assholes. So on the fringe of the forest near the road, you're gonna hit a lot of lesser kind of scumbaggy type of thugs who are just there to bash in skulls. The deeper you go into the woods, the more likely you're going to find someone of note, someone that there's a bounty on, someone in a leadership position.

- Okay. So would you say the river guys follow the river? - Yeah. - Yep. - Yeah. - Okay. - Ah, Theo. - We did make sense 'cause A, he would die in like a hit and B, we don't need another hitter person up front. - Is it Hondo's crossbow? - Oh. - No. - Not surely, no. - No, it's not. That was on his body when he burned it, it's like buried him with his weapon. - Oh, I still have his ashes down. (laughing) - You just dug around the back of ashes. - Stick it out. - A crossbow. - I completely forgot about that, oh my God. - Scatter those. - Use it to blind somebody. - Who would like to roll a flat D20 for me?

- Me please. - Me. - Okay. - I like how we have Tom here because I don't wanna do it at all. He does. - It's my favorite thing to roll 'cause even if it's bad, it's funny. - Come on, do it. - Yep, that's funny. - Oh my God, I'm serious. - Wow. - I rolled a crit one you guys. - Well, I mean, he can't get any lower than that. - If you go back to Brightport, he makes this thing turn around. - He spins around five times and says, "We're here." We know he had a stroke. (laughing) - And there are five-- - He was already dead. (laughing) He just falls over as a whole and the dragon dies.

- There are five dragons. - There are places, Yenward, Yenward dies. (laughing) - Lands on the one only land mine ever made in Theria. - That's rather shitty of me. It's like a nuke falls from the sky. - Oh. - I'm scared. - Well, can you tell, it's a dragon. Can you tell us where he or she is gonna be? Or they, they are gonna be, sorry. - Dragons have genders. - Okay. - Oh yeah, it is a dragon. - It holds you. I told you, I'm gonna go back here. Have fun guys. Actually, wait, hold on. - Well, okay. Here's the thing. Diplomacy. Diplomacy. - It has a green dot, it doesn't look hostile.

- That's health. - Oh. - Yeah. - Like how Kelsey's dot is still moving. - Yeah. - I'm trying to figure out the furthest. - Don't, don't, don't, let's not meta now. Let's not, so, okay, the way this is gonna be is. - Like would you have walked 50 feet behind the party while we were just traveling? - Right. - No, about 50 feet, but I'm in the, see, look, I'm right there. This is a good spot. I can move up closer if you want. There, are you happier? - Yes. - You know what, so soon move, let's have her have a straight line for his fire jets. - There you go, Kelsey.

- Also, I'm pretty sure a dragon is kind of noticeable 'cause we would at least have time to be like, get in position or something, right? And I mean, especially, it's a red dragon in a forest, even camouflage kind of wouldn't be a thing, I don't think. - Is it a ghillie suit? - I'm gonna move people around here in a position that I think would make sense for how we would be traveling, which would be something around this line here, because I think it would make sense that we keep, like even while traveling, we keep the big guys up front and then, you know, back.

So I think that at least makes sense there. - No one's talking though, he'd be right in tow with Yanward. Let's not. - Okay, yeah, you're right. (laughing) Bring Theo over there. There, there, that seems reasonable. - Dude, there's a fucking dragon here. - I know, right? Okay, wait, okay, so he says that and then we'll do this. (laughing) - So I'll be over here. - Is that what that is? - Zoom. - Duncan picks up Theo and throws it. (laughing) - How'd you do that? - This is why we can't have nice things. - Okay, okay. See, this is why I don't usually show you where the enemy's gonna be before that, because then.

- No, you always do, this is why. - I put us in a position where I thought it would make more sense as how we'd be traveling. - I don't know how I did that, but I'm already targeted, because I know how to use this table, I don't. (laughing) I don't know how that happens. - I don't know how to use the table. - There we go. - Please don't kill me, Jason. - I know how to, but it just, like, I didn't actually talk. - I promise nothing, you rolled a one. - Yeah, I knew, like, as soon as you said it was one, I knew it was gonna be a dragon, I said that I called it.

- You're just in a bad area for rolling a one. - I apologize for every bad thing I've done. - And if we win, we get dragon scales finally. 'Cause I feel the group has to. - Let's roll a wave. - Fucking hell. - I'm not sure how wrong you were right about all of it. - I love you, Tom. - What is this sign down here? Can we read that from here? Can we read it? - You said that like some princess to their dog before they euthanized him. (laughing) - Before that, like, can we, why can't we be friends with the dragon, Jason? - Nature checks, yeah, do a nature check.

- Listen. - Yeah, who has a good nature check? - I'm listening, let's hear what he has to say. What's up? - They're not beasts, they're intelligent creatures. - They're... - Hey, you've had the talk, like they have language. - They do, you don't speak it. - I do, I speak Draconic. - Yeah, but okay. - I know I don't speak like Saudi language. - Anyway. - I don't speak Dragonborn. - Traveling down the road, a massive shadow is going to be cast over the party temporarily. And you are going to hear a god awful shriek from above. Casting even the faintest glance upward, you are going to see a massive red dragon.

What I would like you all to do is please roll perception for me. - Okay. - Perception. - I think I have a seven. - Bam! - As soon as she sees the shit out of this dragon. - Yeah, as soon as she sees fucking all. So while everyone is gonna see this dragon, you're all going to pretty much, well, not Malkus, but you're all gonna pretty much surmise that this is a full grown adult dragon. This is in the realm of Theria. If you were to attach a tag to something like this, it's not to be fucked with. This thing could rend the party in seconds. This is a problem.

It has already spotted you. You are pretty blatantly obviously right there in the road and it is going to swoop down and land with a tremendous thought. It's going to shake the party almost to their knees. C'est suin is actually going to notice something about this dragon that is a bit off. Normally red dragons, they get their name because of their red scales. They're obviously like fire-breathing animals. The underside of this dragon actually has a black tint to it specifically around the wing area. - It's a shiny. - I really don't want to kill it. - Well, you have a choice.

- I know Diane is gonna kill it. I don't want to. - Everyone do me a favor and roll initiative. - But I thought you said we had choice. What was that about? - Well, she said she didn't want to kill it. She could stand there. - You didn't say it was a good choice. - I didn't say it was a good choice. - I rolled a two. - 34 really. - Oh my God. He has a plus 16 initiative. Initiative is plus 16. - It's actually not too high. He rolled an 18. So that kind of picks it up. - Yeah. We're going to have to run because we're going to get fire-breathed on that initiative. Like we're just going to get class barbecue.

- Well, good thing I'm a T. - Okay. So realistically, - High five. - Okay. Realistically, my character wouldn't want to run, but at the same time, I don't really want to re-roll again. - I don't think we have a choice guys. - I don't think we have a choice at this point. - We can always run. - Jason, it's just a bad day. - This is the first time we've rolled dice in four sessions and it's about to be a total party wipe. Just right off one. - Fire on us. - That's a bit defeatist. - It's over. - Last time I encountered a dragon, he took my pony bro. - You guys let's not tally votes until we see who's dead from the first fire breath and then we see who gets a vote.

- Okay. If we die from the dragons, if the dragons go on to kill everyone else in the world, then we get to re-roll as dragons. - Awesome. That's how it works. - Well that escalated quickly. - Yeah, we're at fire breath. Let's do it. - Yeah, we're at fire breath. (laughing) - Okay. Obviously he's going first. - Kelsey, why didn't you pick a, oh God. - Dragonborn. - In 17th lane. - Because they're not like as dragon-y, but they don't, I don't know. They don't have wings. - Okay. - Honestly, that's the main. - You just want to fly. - No, but they're dragon born. Also he already had Draconis.

- Darn it, Malchus. What am I? - No, you weren't there when I joined. - Oh, that's true. Fair, fair, fair. - Wait, did Theo roll an initiative yet? - Yeah. - Oh, no. - Yeah, sorry. - Yeah, he's at the end. Big surprise. - Are there any dragonborn with wings? - What's his initiative bonus? No, it's plus five. He got an 11. Okay. Good job, Theo. - He's doing it. He's doing his thing. - So bringing up the rear. That's Theo. - Because there's different varieties of them. - Theo is our, Theo is our Mississippi. He's there for us to look good. - Okay. I guess we got to fight.

- So firstly, Theo is going to shit himself when this dragon lands. He is going to drop to one knee and then drop. He's going to reach for his crossbow that's on his back and instantly drop it. And then he's going to kind of scramble on the ground and sort of hide behind Duncan. - How? (laughing) - Well, he's took a knee. - He's took a knee kind of like ducking behind. But he does, he does have his crossbow in hand and he is, he is ready to go. - Adult red dragon is going to stomp toward the party. - Hi. - The two newest members. (laughing) - God. Let me just say, there's good news.

If you were to beat this thing, that is a massive XP bump for you guys. It's just, just throwing it out there. - That's not good news. (laughing) - You don't get to play the good news card before it happens. (laughing) - Trying to give you the silver lining to get you through. - Jason, if we all die, we have to reroll as level 11. I'm going to be really mad. - I've been waiting, I've been waiting three, I went between three years to get the Duncan's backstory. And now I'm going to get it. - At the finish line, you break your ankle. - Oh my God. - 20 steps away.

- At least you killed one of your fathers, you know. - That's pretty cool. - This dragon is going to target the party. - Great job on positioning by the way, Duncan. - What's that? - Great job on positioning. - Oh, thank you. - Sorry. - I didn't know we were fighting a dragon. - Dan did this. Dan did this. - It's all his fault. He got us into this position. - The dragon is going, go ahead. - I was just gonna say, don't play the blame game. Don't play the blame game. - Again, it's not over. - Blame Jason. - I think Jason. - Blame Yennberg, that's who we got to blame.

- Yennberg rolled the one. - You know what guys, we have made it through worse than this. - Yeah, dude. - Archmage? - We beat Draugr, we beat Archmage, we beat Carter, we beat giant robots. We scared of a fucking dragon. - Let's just go for the fight and see what happens. - False fails, I get to lose my weapon. - I got a backup character, I ain't scared, let's do it. - This dragon is going to spread its blackened wings and cast a shadow over the party. It's going to blot out the morning sun behind it. And it is going to let loose a fucking roar that is going to rip through this party.

No fire. And it's going to use something called Frightful Presence. - It's against Fortitude, I'm good. - Oh geez. - Oh, nice. - That's an attack? - That's an attack. - Okay, how do I know which one was for me? - It'll listen. - Okay. - Okay, so let's go down. It crit it on Malkus, that's a hit. Either hits or misses, it doesn't really matter. - What is it versus? - Will. - Will, he crit one against me, fuck right. - That is going to hit Malkus. It's going to hit Theo, it's going to hit Dirthak, it's going to hit Duncan, it's going to miss Sassoon and it's going to miss Yenward and it's going to hit Diana.

- It almost created for me, shit. - And what that's going to do is it is going to stun. It's going to stun everyone it hits until the end of the dragon's next turn. The target takes a negative two penalty to attack rolls, save ends. - Okay, what does stun do? - Total loss of actions. - Okay. - So we all lose a turn. - Yeah, and you grant combat advantage. - Right. - We don't have to save ends. - Well, he probably only has one of those, so. - Okay, so we don't have to save ends, do we? - You have to save ends against the negative two to attack rolls, but everything else is just till the end of his next turn.

- All right. - I still have Resistant Fire. - Okay. - Write it out. - The good news is, the good news is that that's his turn. Let's see, I'm trying to make sure that that's stun plus one. Okay, so that's the end of his turn and Yennward was unaffected, so Yennward? - All right. - Are we fighting this thing, guys? - Yeah, you guys are stuck. - Yeah, we don't. - All right, well, I'm going to open this up with a little crack the shell action. - 24 is going to miss. - Okay. - Action point. - Pop my action point and I'm going to try Brute Strike. - 35 is going to hit.

- Yes, okay. - My God. - Jesus, 44 damage to the dragon. Yennward will sink his axe into the side of this dragon and it's going to let loose with a shriek. You have definitely hurt the thing. - Okay. - Anything else? - No, that's it. Dan, how did you do that? - Red adult dragon again, 'cause he shows up twice in the initiative. He is going to target Yennward. So he's going to target Yennward and he's going to use double attack. And that means he uses claw twice. So one, that's going to hit. And then two, that's going to hit. - He rolled an 18 and a 17, what the fuck?

- So damage for the first one, 30. Damage for the second one, 28. Yennward is bloodied. - Okay. - Dragon is going to shift back one and then he's going to pop an action point and he's going to use fire breath. - We might have to run. - Well, we can't. - We can't, yeah. - Yeah, we've all lost an action, so it gets another turn. - I don't really think running from a dragon is going to work either. Like it can fly. - Diana, you'll be pleased to know that he can't include you in this. - No. Diana will, yeah, it's a blast five. So she'll just be missed. - He backed up just to do this.

- Well, but he catches Yennward that way. Like it was either you or him. - Yeah, no, it makes sense. So if all else fails, I can turn invisible. - I'll survive guys. - What a fucking coward. - I will remember you. No, well, I mean, if you guys all are dying, I mean, I don't know. - So you love us. - Venno. - I like how you said, it's like, no, no, no, we have to, we're in this fight now guys. - This is how the coward spotlight gets off. Mal gets da da da da da. (laughing) - It's another tiefling. - He has never seen any claims about being brave. - Fucking tieflings, right guys?

- He murdered those two guys in that alley. - Jess does the exact same thing and she never gets any. - She's not a tiefling. - Yennward should have ran and left all you cripples behind. I don't know why I fought him. - You could have befriended him too. - Here we go guys. - All right, lay it on us, do it. - I'll miss you Yennward. - Pull the bandaid. - Hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, it hits everyone. - And crits someone. - Crit. - Ooh, who'd it crits? It crits as soon. It. - We might have to reroll after this guys. - It's a good session. - Oh my God. - Subtract 10 from that for me for tiefling fire resistance.

- I think it automatically counts it. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, table's good at that. Let's check it though. Let's check it just to make sure. - Maybe not on that chart. - Well, he only has one of those so. - Yennward's down to eight hit points guys. - Hey guys, it's a good time to pop those potions. - As a result of being bloodied. - Oh, so I got one of those two, hold on. - Yeah. - Thanks. - Thanks. - So my character's bloodied effect is called blood fury. When bloodied, I get a plus two to all my attacks and oh, yeah, yeah, plus two to all my attacks. - Oh good, now there's a fucking choke point where we can't get past him.

- That's. - Are you trying to get past him? - To run Justin, there's no. - I'm talking about getting to behind him so we can all fucking hit him. - That's not gonna happen. He has a tail and tiny legs. - You understand what I'm saying though? We can't move around him. There's trees now blocking. - You can on the left over there. And even then, I mean, it's just a map. - I'll let you move around trees because if you look at it top down, like trees aren't built like that usually. - I was just wondering, 'cause like it looks a lot like the top part up there. It's like there's only a part where you can actually touch him and then otherwise.

- Right, you'll ask before you get upset. - Well, it just looks like that. - Okay, onward and forward. - Yes, that's the end of the dragon's turn. See you soon. Your turn, sir. - Yeah, so move, then divine challenge and then I'm gonna use an encounter power called righteous smite. Oh yeah, I'm gonna second it at plus four. - Yeah, so we're gonna count that as a hit. So you hit the dragon. - Okay, so righteous smite. Charisma modifier damage, la la la. You and each ally within five squares of you gains temporary hit points equal to five. But let me roll the damage first of all, obviously.

- 22 damage to the dragon. - Congratulations. - Yeah, I'm gonna pop an action point. - And when I pop an action point, doodle-doo, action point, just action. When you spend an action point, you take, sorry. When you spend an action point to take an action, each adjacent enemy, each adjacent foe is weakened until the end of your next turn. Until the end of its next turn, sorry, its next turn. - So that damage, that dragon's doing half damage till the end of its next turn, guys. - That's awesome. - Sweet. - Is that first or second? - Next turn. - His next turn.

- Okay, so then the next thing I'm gonna do is pop another encounter power called shielding smite. And I missed. Yeah, okay, so yeah, I'm done. So yeah, I'm finished. - Duncan, your turn. - Okay, guys, are we popping dailies? - Yes. - Yeah, do a pop. - Oh, God, yeah. - Bring out your pistol. - It's a better run. - Are we popping dailies? - It is all or nothing. - Yeah, okay, then first off, I'm going to use glimpse the future as a minor. How do I do this even? There's no thing next to it. Oh, I guess I just do it, huh? Just make the roll. So I roll three D20s and take the highest. 19.

- Yay. - Okay, I'm gonna keep that 19 in my pocket. I will buy back pocket here. - You're not gonna use a one. - No, I'm not. I can't actually, I can't use the one. So we'll check that off. - You get jickemoved to do somebody that says I'm gonna replace your roll with a crit miss. - Well, it says I have to take the best one. - I know, I'm just saying why would they even word it any other way? - I don't know. - Just to be an answer. - Because they're Justin? - I don't. - Yeah. - Okay. My next move is going to be using malevolent mischief. - Ooh, that is a hit, 36.

- 36, all right. - 29 damage. - 29 damage and then I have to do this. - Okay, the dragon is slowed. So let's see, the target is slowed until the end of its next turn, whenever you were an ally hits it with an attack. So that means that not just now, right? - Right. - That means that like if somebody else hits it, then that goes on for the next time. So there's that and I still have a move action left. - What is it gonna be? Okay, and Duncan backs off. Okay, Malchus. - Okay, let's go. Unfortunately so much of my stuff is fire powers. Probably goes poorly in this situation.

Let's go with, that's not the move I clicked. Okay, my movement is six so. - I forgot you haven't done any combat. - Yeah, yeah, it is my first one. I get a pass. - Unless you count the bears. - We don't count the bears. - Never happened. - Okay, charisma versus fortitude. Cur with, I still get a side effect though. - How good is that attack? Would it be worth using the 19 or should we hold off? - Oh, does 2D six plus charisma fire cold damage and slowed savings. - He's already slowed. - He's already slowed. Also I have some stuff coming up that'll hopefully. - So miss half damage.

So do I roll that and you'll manually change the half Jason? - Oh, you can automatically do that if you go to the little plus minus up there in modifiers. - So I moved, I did that and (mumbles) - Potions if you're. - I'm still not, I'm not yet. - You're fine, you're green ish. - Man, I wish, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I forgot I was not muted, sorry about that. I was cursing at myself, I forgot I wasn't muted, sorry. - It's okay. - I'm gonna go ahead and fire off my iron aspect of despair as my minor actions and I have resist five to all damage as well. - Okay, make sure and target yourself, hit the little zombie.

Diana, your turn. - Okay, first thing I wanna do is minor action. I wanna use blur until the end of my encounter, plus two to all defenses and invisible enemies, five squares more away from you, so that's nice. And then I'm going to use sleep. So let's see, so 34 hit. - Yeah, okay. - Okay, so and then. - Theo's gonna finish him off anyway, so what does it matter? (laughing) Oh yeah, Theo still has a turn. Maybe Theo's an awesome healer. He's gonna use luck of the Irish and shoot him right in the eye. - This is our first encounter with Theo. - Poor Theo, dude.

- He's not been having a good week. Okay, so then I am going to use phantom foes and this is just a thing that happens. So I don't, so he slowed, so that already happens. And then this thing. - We're fine, let's go, Dirthag. - Let's see. - Okay, it's my turn. - It is your turn. - Fucking dead. - So Dirthag is going to advance toward the dragon and get adjacent. - Getting all up and adjacent. - I think I am actually, yes, I am targeting him, so that's half the battle for me. That's usually where I falter. I'm gonna use wrath on the storm. - 32 will hit. - Oh yes.

- You get up. - 23. - 23 damage. - I'm gonna-- - Plus two, because of my pack attack. - I get to-- - Theo's turn. - Theo. - Do I get to roll for my status effect? - Negative two to attack. - Okay, you saved. - Oh my God. - Diana, roll a saving throw. (laughing) - Malchus, roll a saving throw. - Would you want invisible? - Yeah, and I-- - Okay, that's good. - Boop. - Duncan, roll a saving throw. - Okay, no. - High five, Duncan. - Okay. - Theo's turn. - Save me my-- - Theo, roll a saving throw. (laughing) - Roll a saving throw, not to shit again. - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Okay, Theo is going to level his crossbow. - Oh yes. - Here is dragon. - He's gonna hit 35 in the butt. - Don't hurt me in the butt. - I already give Theo a room. I don't let the man work. - So firstly, here's what's gonna happen. - Oh God. - Don't fucking do it. - No. - Okay, it should be noted on a five or less, Theo is going to misfire and hit someone up front instead of the target he's at. - I knew that was gonna happen. That's why it would have been one of us. - But anything higher, anything six or higher, he's fine. Like he'll target the thing he's in. - At least it's not like a saving throw.

- No. - That's not very comforting. As long as it's over a five. - You got off a good shot the first time. - Oh, he's gonna crit miss though. - And he's going to. - Oh my God. - He's gonna crit miss this dragon. (clapping) - You wanna get my ID? - Give him your giant's target. - Don't fucking do it, he's worthless. - No, just don't. Don't you dare. - No, I'm not, trust me, I'm not gonna kill my... - Okay, wow, here we go. Red dragon. Okay, there are 50 status effects. Let's see if the table sorted through any of this shit. So he slowed, he's weakened, he's marked, he's slowed again.

He's... - He also ate too much before the fight, so he's feeling kind of groggy. - He pulled his back helping someone move last week. - Castle's really heavy. - He also needs to make, okay, I know what he has to do for my attacks. - Yeah, it should automatically do all of this. So let's see. Firstly, he's prone. He is gonna stand up as his move action. So we'll get rid of that. So as his move, so now he's standing up. - But isn't he unconscious? So how can he stand up if he's unconscious? - He's not unconscious yet. If he fails his next- - No, he has to fail a saving throw first.

So... - This is fucking stressful. - He is slowed, so he can only move two squares. So one, two. - Fuck. - And because Dirthag was the last one to hit him. - He did move, he just moved twice, so that would have used his action. - He didn't move twice. - Yeah, his move action would stand up. - He had to stand up. - Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, they're right. Okay, yeah, you're right. So standing up, that would be his turn. - Okay, so at the end of the piece, he needs to make a saving throw with minus something. - Oh, he saved on both. - Ah. - Wait, wait, wait, with minus what?

- Damn it. - Didn't he say with a minus something? - It automatically calculates it. - Oh, yeah, I believe it. - That's it? - Yes. Well, he rolled a 20 for the one. - I know. - And a 14 for the other, so yeah. - I don't think it can affect it. - Yeah, it's just it's minus two 'cause I'm not close enough in, I'm not close enough. - Yeah, so he saved on both. So that'll strip both of those. - Not Malchus, Genward, get the fuck out of there. - He's no longer weakened, he is still marked. - Yenward, your turn. - Yenward is gonna use his move action and get the fuck out of dodge.

One, two, three, four, five. - Get someone close to me if you can, Yenward, 'cause I can heal you on my turn if I get to it. - Okay, all right, so. One, two, three, four, I was right here or right here? - We can't see you, there. - I was right here? - Yeah, yeah, right there. - Okay, so I'll go one, two, three, four, and then my fifth, I'm gonna get out of the line of fire. And I am going to use one of my dailies called Mighty Surge. Try to find the right window, I have 10 of them open. (imitates air horn) In effect, you can spend a healing surge and you also gain a plus two power bonus to all defenses and a plus one power bonus to attack rolls until the end of your next turn.

Until the end of the encounter, each time you spend a healing surge, you gain a plus two power bonus to all defenses and a plus one power bonus to attack rolls until the end of your next turn. - Oh shit, so you're hulking up. - I am hulking up, I'm gonna use a potion as my minor action, so I'm gonna get double everything. - Right, and with minor action, I'm gonna take one of my potions. - Okay, roll 2d8. - Okay. - Plus 10. - And it's a dragon. - against trees. - Use from leaf, what's from trees. - Good Lord, okay. His breath weapon's not recharged yet, so that's a thing.

- That's scary. - He's gonna use double attack against. - Please make a saving throw minus two. - Sounds good. - So you can use a free action to change the target of its attack to a different creature within the range of that attack, that would be himself. And it's just changing the target of its attack, I don't think it's changing what attack it is, so. - Okay, so he's going to target himself. - I mean, even if he doesn't hit himself, it still saved a hit from dirt. - Thank you. - And if he hits himself, then he takes five extra damage. - She would quit.

- I like how when he's attacking himself, he rolls a 10 and a three. (laughing) - Yeah, he does, you bitch. - Can I replace that with a 9d? (laughing) - Can he? - Technically, I don't know, can you? What's the wording on that, is it an ally? - Let me see here. - Is it an ally right now? - Yeah, it's his ally. - Yeah, okay. - Why would you give it to an enemy? - Hey, he didn't attack dirtbag. - That's true. - It still has an enemy. - And he didn't attack dirtbag. - Thank you. - Seeing as he didn't attack moi, he takes a d6, no, sorry, six damage, six plus rated damage.

- Nice. - Each time. - Yeah, if he does, no, no, no, not each time, it's only if he makes an attack that doesn't involve me because I've got a challenge on him. - Right, that counts as one attack, the double attack counts as one. - All right, that makes sense. - Like in terms of targeting. - Yeah. - Getting great. - Seesoon, your turn. - Right, okay, I'm gonna use, okay, Jason, the table doesn't really have buttons for, I mean, it has three zombies, but it doesn't have anything else, but I'll read what I'm gonna do. I wanna use Ferrosus charge. You charge and deal an extra two damage on a successful attack, increase your attack to four, blah, blah, blah, blah, extra, if I'm bloodied, I deal double the damage and I gain temporary hit points equal to that same amount of damage I dealt out.

- Ooh, almost, great. - That is a hit. - Okay, cool, and roll the damage and I'm rolling it up, okay. - Okay. - I thought you said something that you had doubled it. - It's, my math was bad, it's plus 10 to my damage output, so it's 25 in total damage. - No, I was gonna use a lay on hands on our good buddy, Dirthike. - Oh shit, really? Thank you. - Yes. - I'm gonna use that on yourself, you're hurting more than him. You have a higher AC, so I don't know, so you're up to you. - That was kind of my thinking. - You have more health. - You never thought about it.

- I didn't see that. - Thank you very much, even though Diana wants to be dead. - 23 to Dirthike. - I'm trying to help. - Okay, Duncan, your turn. - Hi. - Push him off Duncan. - Okay, first off, I'm gonna move right there. For my minor, I'm going to use, hold on, let me, first I will untarget the dragon and then I will target the inner, and then I will use a majestic word. So majestic word on- - What's the majestic word of the day? - What's the good word? - Survive. - Don't die. - Today's good word is- - Trying. - So there, I gave you a 31, the n-word. - Yes, thank you.

- You guys are so good. - Enjoy that. - Now I'm going to untarget him. I'm gonna retarget the dragon. I'm going to use Tune of Ice and Wind on the dragon. And I got- - That's 33, that's a hit. - 33. - What's your song? - I'm just quick. - It's Ice and Wind. - What is the Tune of Ice and Wind? - It's probably from Frozen. - Let it go. (laughing) - No, Jason has to put that in. - She's as cold as ice. - Yeah, let it go. - What's your song? - No, that's- No, Jason, that's cold damage. Does this do anything extra since it's cold? - No, he doesn't have a weakness. He just has a resist.

- To hot, right? Not cold. - Right. - Okay, then let's do this. Oh boy. - That's a lot of damage. - Oh, he's bloody. - As a result of being bloodied. - As a result of being bloodied. - Oh no. - Shut up. - Everyone's gonna die. - You guys are cunts. - He uses his power, pulp adventurers. - The dragon's breath weapon recharges and the dragon uses it immediately. - Son of a bitch. - Like the hug this tree really is. - So my effects don't work yet. My effects don't work with the effect yet. - It is immediate interrupt. - Dude, I'm really sorry you guys are about to get bathed in flame, but I can't tell you how relieved I am.

I'm not in this one. - No, I'm glad there's at least a tank out there that could charge up here after we're fucking toast. No, I'm actually glad. - I'm here to be a cleanup pitcher now. - Yeah. - Again, we're in Theo, not Theo. Oh my gosh, I can't remember your DRP skills. - I want the big kill, but you don't know how much I want Theo to get this kill. You know how much that would do for his confidence? Like I fucking did it. - No one would ever believe him. - All right, here we go. - He's gonna shoot us in the back. - Holy shit. - He missed. - Wait, he missed Dirthag and hit.

- He hit C'estun. - How? - Not a crit, no, God, no. - And at least he did miss somebody. I mean, that's better than you expected. - That's good. - I think C'estun's in so much plate armor that his reflexes aren't good. - No, cat people. - No, it's worth his reflex. He has more health at least, so. - 40 damage, C'estun is down. - Fuck, and he's down. - Jesus. - Fuck. - We all gotta save C'estun. - Duncan, resume. (laughing) - Thanks. - Oh. - As you were. - Sing him a lullaby. - Fuck me. - Um, okay. So first off, I'll just go like this and say, he is slowed. - Hey guys, the dragon's slowed now.

- You're targeting yourself. - Oh, sorry, it says I'm targeting the dragon. - Why me? - Um, also, every, it says anyone within, any ally within the burst, which would be everyone except for Malkus, I guess. It's a burst 10. - Shh. - Jeez. - Yeah. - So that's everyone but Malkus. You guys can, oh, I guess Diana's not part of it either, is she? - I'm right next to you. Oh, it's burst if it's going out. - Right, I think. - Yeah, that's burst. Burst is out from everywhere, not blast. - Okay. - Oh wait, but you know what? It says it's area burst one within 10 squares.

So no, it would just be on him. But that does mean that Malkus and Suisun and Dirthag can all, they can all move three squares. - Wait, that would be Malkus and Suisun could, not Dirthag. If it's burst one within 10. - You can't just do that because... - Can't he center it on? - Oh, you could center it on, yeah, I'm a fucking dummy. - Sorry, go ahead. I thought you were targeting Malkus with a console. Sorry, I'm an asshole. - No, no, no, no, no. I targeted the dragon so they can go three squares. - Okay. - Well, I don't know if Suisun can cause he's dead. - No, he's dead, he's down.

- When you got dead, he's unconscious. - He's unconscious. - Jason, are we committing to this? - How do you mean? - I'm sorry, Justin, Justin, are we committing to this? - Committing to what, fighting? - Yeah, like freaking taking on this dragon. - I think we have to. - These are the bloody dipshits that don't have another rocket. - Okay, I will slide into flanking then. Go big or go home. - Is that flanking because the cat's down. - No, I'm flanking with you. - With you, yeah, it's across, it counts. - Yeah, side to side or corner to corner, it counts. - All right, cool.

Living on a prayer, let's do this. Okay, is that it for Duncan? - Yeah. - Malkus, your turn. - Yes. - Oh, got something, perfect. - Still misses though? - Yeah, 21's gonna miss. - Okay, Soul Eater's not worth the 19, right? - Nah, not so much, but I'll action point. So let's fire that off. Oh, wait, does 23 hit because I'm flanking? - No. - Okay, so I'll action point and I will Blazing Doom of the Void, which is- - Action point do? - Oh, do I get like temporary hit points or something? - Forgot to look at the action points. - Yeah. Hexblade's action, oh, here it is, here it is.

Hexblade action, infernal, you spend an action point, take an extra action. The next enemy you hit or miss with an attack before the end of your next turn takes fire damage, you can do five plus your constitution modifier. He'll probably resist the bulk of that. - Yeah. - But he'll take nine fire damage if I hit him. So anyway, powers, okay. Blazing Doom of the Void and go. That's two. - Damn. - Okay. - Badly, I'm sorry. - 19's not worth it again, right? - Not for the, that's- - 'Cause it's fire. - I don't really have good dailies as a warlock. I just kind of do like generally higher damage with will and encounter stuff.

- That and your chance to hit is fairly high. - Yeah. - Like you're a reliable hitter. - Yeah. Yeah, typically. I blame this. - Well, yeah. - Okay, do I want to might, let's see, I've already got my plus two AC. Spine Devil's Boon, probably not just yet. Let's say that's the end of my turn. - Diana, your turn. - Okay, I'm keeping it simple, relatively. So first thing I'm gonna do is Emerald Eye. So that's three thing, two power, two diana, shot, boom. So that's until the end of my next turn, I get plus two versus will to dragon, which is what I'm attacking and apparently has a ridiculously high will.

So that's nice. Then I'm going to use Charm of Misplaced Wrath. - 34 hit. - Nice. Okay, so I slide the target up to three squares. Do I want to do that guys? Or wait, no, I want to get him away from the season or, but guys, should I move him? People who are actually close to him. - No, he's fine. To me, he's fine. Anybody else? - But, - Goable Mio, so I don't know. - Yeah, scoot him two spaces south, I would say, just so that he has to work for so soon if he wants him. - Okay. Jason. - If you wait, if you do it three, then, cause he slowed, he can only move two.

So I don't know if that changes anything. - Okay, just do it three. - It's a slide that doesn't. And Jarethag, your turn. - I helped. - I'm gonna vomit from the stress. Is that okay with anybody? - I didn't hear a word you just said. - I said, I'm going to vomit from the stress. Is that okay with anybody? - It's fine with me, you can do that. - Yeah, minor actions. You have to use a minor, but. - Okay, well, since he's moved, I was gonna heal Isizu. - You could have still done that before he moved. - Are you gonna heal him? I have a potion. - Yeah. - I can take care of that on my next turn if you'd like.

- Okay, better role play, cause we haven't done anything today at all. He's gonna pop the cork. You can, if you want to, you can get a sound effect for that, like a crisp one. There you go, thank you. And then just like, pow, ram it down his fucking throat, grab him from both of his arms and just say, on your feet, snoo snoo. - All right. He's gonna look at that. Well, once I get back up, I guess I'm gonna look at, I'm gonna look at, wait, do I, am I prone or? - Yeah. - Okay, so I'm prone. I'll look up at that, I can say, thank you. Next time in the future, try not to touch me.

- 2d8 plus 10, please. - 18. - Yep. - You did it guys. - 18, okay, so let me go to- - Okay, that was my- - Sisun and- - That was a minor. - Arigato gozaimasu, Justin-san. - Watch no anime. - Sisun-chan, Genki, Genki. - Oh my God. (laughing) - Nande? Nande's got- - What is happening? - Let's not die, that's what it is. - I'm not fan- - They're talking to me. - Neko-sama totemo kawaii. - Kawaii-de. - Shut up. - Shut up all of you. - It's a fucking nightmare. - Seriously, these things, why? - Okay. - Even if you guys have anything to talk, let's talk about like old stuff for two hours.

- Let's talk about old stuff. Stuff in the nineties and eighties is old, okay. - Kelsey was a fetus or less for some of it. - As a minor action Duncan's nose bleeds. - Okay. (laughing) - Lorys. - Okay. - I'm going to use Ambusher's Rage. - 29 will hit. - Holy shit, really? Piece of poop. Ambusher's Rage is gonna do, what is it? 27 damage, that's a kill. I killed him guys. - Okay. - Okay, I'm going to pop my action point. Sorry. - Okay, yeah, yeah, we all know. Stupid. - I'm going to use Thundering Smash. - Oh man, that'll miss. - Okay, can I use your 19? - Is it worth it?

- How much damage does it do? - Well, I don't know. It's two weapon, plus strength modifier and each enemy adjacent to the target takes, well. - So no. - So no. - I'm going to die this turn. Oh well. - Save it for whatever you. - You're only 17 wounded, Gertag. - You're only 17. He's going to Ink Dopple me up. - Are we done? - Yes, we are. - Okay, Theo's turn. I would like to point out, Theo is going to move here. - Don't hurt me. - Just kind of shift two spaces and he is going to. - God, don't hurt me. - Oh, well, let's see here. - Oh no, he's going to accidentally target Dirthag instead of the dragon.

- He's gonna hit him in the butt. - He won't hit. - Yeah, he might not even hit. Oh, he totally hit. - Of course he does. - Sorry. - Yay. - 15 damage to Dirthag. - Theo can fight. - That's partially absorbed? What does partially absorbed mean? - He had hit 10 pet points. - Okay. - What are you doing? The enemy is over there. I'm going to rip him to shreds when this is all done. - So Theo looks panicked. He's like, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He's going to pop an action point and try again. - No. - Oh, God. - What are you doing? You fool. - Okay. - That'll target the dragon this time.

- Yay, the enemy. - He actually did something. - Oh, he rolled a two. That's good. - At least he was aiming at the right target this time. Not the small one. - Yeah, we would like to peek out from behind the tree and just shake his head. - He's so way fish. - Wait, wait. So does Dirthak now have a crossbow bolt? - Yeah, that's right. - Oh, I would say hit him somewhere. - Can we roll to see where it hit? - No, no we can't. Let's go. - In any other combat, yes. That would be slightly tedious this time. - It's in your knee. Let's move on. - The breath weapon did not recharge yet.

- Phew. - That's his turn. - Let's see, man, does he have stuff? - Okay, so dazed he gets one action instead of the two. He is slowed. His breath weapon didn't recharge. Carry the one and if the Browns win, then the Colts go to the playoffs. - All right. - I think you've made almost that exact joke before. - Because it's just as fucking tedious. - This is fantasy for Bono. - Okay. - I was gonna say stuff, but now that I can't. - I know I'm fucking wrong. I don't care. - It's evil. - Pick your spots. - Okay. - You finished 11 and four last year. (laughing) - Finish strong, that's good.

- Then the dragon's a wild card. Okay. Okay. Dragon can untarget himself. Okay, so I have to roll a saving throw to see if I attack the target I'm trying to attack, correct? - No. - I hope he doesn't go to the sword. - No, that's over? - 28 versus Dirthags AC. Why did that? Oh, I'm not. - Doesn't matter. - So it does hit, okay. - Dirthags. - So that's not bad, 34. 34 to Dirthags, okay. - Okay, could I use immediate interrupt? Ignore pain? - Sure, you got one. - Yeah, it just takes that hit points that I lost and makes them temp. So I lose the damage. - How is this?

I know you have it. What's the power call? - Ignore pain. - Ignore pain, so. - So daily. - So you did lose those temp. Okay, you lost them, but you get them back in 10 hit points. - Yeah. - Okay. - So I see. - That's awesome. That's a pretty bad ass power, okay. All right, then that would be Yanward's turn. - All right. Guys, am I still trying to survive or are we just trying to take this guy out? - Take it down, take it down. - I think you're good now, aren't you? - Yeah, you're good and he's bloodied, so go for it. - All right. - Don't use your range attack. Yes, what are you doing?

- I'm gonna gore him, I have to be back in space. - Oh, oh, get all up in that. - It's not as impressive if he's bigger than you, but it's still pretty cool. - I'm gonna try. So I will be using Goring Charge and hold on, let me target him. I remember how to do that. All right. Crit one. - You don't want the 19? - Yeah. - What is it? - That's impressive, I like that. - Strength plus four plus AC. Wait, what? - I mean dice. - 2D6 plus my strength modifier, constitution modifier, or dexterity modifier. - What do you think? - We need somebody to take him down and we need to start whittling his health.

- You know what, keep it, I have my Lucky Charm. - Oh, okay. Does that mean he's basing him right now or what? - Wait, no, no, you crit miss, so even the Lucky Charm isn't gonna add enough to hit. - It's not gonna help. - There's no way it's gonna help. - So the only, but should I, what do you think? It's only a 2D. - Go for it, at this point, we're just trying to kill him. - Okay. - Take it. - That could be 24. - All right, so that'll hit. - Hey EJ, bring that back. - Back it up. - He's gonna hit with Goring Charge. - Oh my God. - Wait, is that right? - Wait, what is that?

- I have to, help me out. I have three blood drops, I don't know what to hit. - We hit the wrong one. - Oh wait, let me try this one. - So, hold on, so he did 16 damage, so nine plus, so 23. You need to take away seven, give them back seven hit points and then it's fine. - Okay, anything else, sir? - No, I'm good. - Wait, yeah, I'm good. - He'll attack me if I'm gonna turn around. - Here's what we're gonna do. He's gonna use Frightful Presence again, rear back on his haunches and then stomp down, spread his wings and scream. Everything within five of him, he's going to target.

That hit everyone. So Theo, Dirthak, Malkus, Yenward and Sisun are all stunned until the end of the dragon's next turn. - Right. - And you get a negative two to attacks until save ends. No, he saved against the slow, the dazed is still in effect until the end of-- - Diana's turn. - Until the end of Diana's turn and I think that's all the status effects to take into account and Sisun, your turn. - Okay, so being whatever's done, stunned, what can I do? - Nothing. - Okay, then nothing, done. - Fair. - There we go, okay. - Happy now? - Well, I just wanna-- - I know, I know.

- Zomjie, your turn. - We've all done the same thing like a million times the first time you've done it. - All I know. - So that was the joke. - First off, Jason, what is considered a milestone? - Two fights in a day, I believe. - Okay, okay, nevermind. - We'll be taking an extended rest after this, don't worry. - Well, no, Duncan gets, like his action point thing is that for every milestone, he gets another action point so he could like use two or three, but I can't do that now because we haven't hit any milestones. So, okay, let's see here. - That's just a regular action point thing.

That's a regular action point thing. - Oh, see, I don't have any like specific fun action points. - It's too late, we can look at that. - We'll look at the PDF next time, 'cause it's on your PDF, it won't be on your-- - I know, I looked at my PDF, I don't have any. It's, and it's not too late 'cause I haven't used my action point. But let me-- - It should be on class other features and then at the end, it's just take some type of action. - Okay, I'll check it out. I'm not worried about it right now. - Okay, okay, sweet. - Okay. Okay, I'm gonna use as a minor action.

I am going to use the, believe it's this one right here. Yes, I am going to use Chant of Accuracy. So that goes to, I mean, everyone, it's a close burst 10. So that will target Theo, Sassoon, Durtheck, and Yinward, is that correct? - Close burst 10? - Yes. - Burst is from me, right? - From you, yeah. - So I get it too. - Right, so everybody. - Oh, well, even Malchus? Malchus isn't 10. - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Everyone but Malchus, yeah, sorry. - Okay, everyone but Malchus. Okay, and me because it says you and Ejali in the burst. So let me untarget the dragon and target you guys.

Okay, I'll hit that. Boo, there you go. You get a plus two attack power of staff. - So that'll cancel out the debuff from the dragon. So that's cool. - Thank you very much, Dan. - So now I'm going to undo all of you guys and I'm going to use a vicious mockery on the dragon and I'm gonna miss, crit miss. - Oh, shit. (laughing) - Let me see if it has any effects on a miss. Nope, it doesn't. So... - Dragon doesn't care that you insult its mother. - I'm not close enough to Sassoon to do any healing and I can move up. Sassoon, do you want some heal on you or? - Yeah, anything could help.

Yeah. - Okay, then I will pop an action point. Well, first I'll move. I haven't taken my move action. Five, okay. Actually, let me move four. So I'm out of five with him. And I popped my action points. - What does it do? Do you get anything special? - Go to your PDF on the third page of your PDF. On the third page of your PDF under class other features. - So that is to attack and damage. So that's actually a plus six to everybody on attack and plus four on damage. - Yeah. - So... - Keep track of the plus four 'cause that doesn't show up on the table, I don't think.

- It doesn't give, it just says, when you take an action point allies within five gain your constitution mod bonus to attack and damage rules. There's no end on it. I'm looking, that's on my PDF. - There has to be some limit. It's just not forever that you just get plus six for every attack forever. - No, it'd be plus four forever, plus six until my next turn. - Yeah. - To the end of the encounter, end of the next turn. Jason picks. Blue coin. (dramatic music) - I'm assuming it'd be encounter obviously, but... - Well, okay, hold on a second. - I can tell you Malchus's.

- Okay. - When you take an action point to take an extra action, the next enemy you hit or miss with an attack before the end of your next turn takes fire damage equal to five plus your constitution on fire. - I would say this is till Duncan's next turn. - Yeah, that seems likely 'cause it's supposed to be, like the action point is kind of a, like combat crescendo kind of thing. Like, it doesn't just keep going typically. - Especially with a plus four, that's a massive plus. - Reaper's action, when you spend action point to attack with two handed weapon, adjacent foe takes strength mod and damage.

That doesn't help. - Yeah, 'cause it's more of an immediate thing. Like the fact that each one of you will get a chance to get the plus four is, yeah. - Well, it's plus six on attack, plus four on damage until the end of my next turn. But anyway, you're like, I almost said it regardless. Regardless of that, I am still going to use my last healing on Suisun. So let me take that off, let me do that. Is Dirthag worse than, no, he's not worse. - Diana, your turn. - My turn, okay. So with all these bonuses to attack I have, I'm gonna do Phantom Chasm, this will hit.

- That'll hit. - Hits even without the extra stuff. Okay, so we do damage, so it's 2D, six plus 12, five of psych damage, 13. - 13 damage. - And the target- - Is that plus the four that I- - Yeah, okay. Oh, plus four. - Yeah, it's done, got it. - Okay, so now the, okay, that's, so the target is, he falls prone and he is immobilized until the end of his next turn. - Also just for, oh, sorry, go ahead. - No, go. - Oh, for the record, my daily earlier, he's also slowed because every time he gets hit, he gets slowed. - Dragon's Turn. - Do I get to roll against that or no?

- No, it's just a thing. - It's just one turn. You're done. - His breath weapon did not recharge, so that's something. - He did succeed on the save though. What was the save even for? - Slowed, I think. - Is he down? - I think it was for slowed. - Theo, sorry, Theo. Theo succeeded against the negative two attack. - Theo, how is it- - Which could be a bad thing. - Is he dazed also? - Yes, he's stunned, but he did take a turn. - I did not succeed my save. - Okay, why is it rolling for everyone else but not Diana? - Because I'm just that cool. - It didn't roll for me, I had to roll myself.

Dragon stands up. - Can't, he's immobilized. Can't move, can he? - Okay, wait. - Oh, please say that happens. - I wanna read the exact, he's gonna read word for word now. It's a challenging football game. - But I don't know if that means he can't- - Well, it's a move action. - No, well, it's a move action, but it's standing. He's not technically moving. - I mean, like, immobilized I see is like frozen, right? - Right, which means he's not moving, he's just- - I mean, if he's frozen lying on the ground, he can't stand up. Like, maybe like your body locks up.

- Okay, I'm not even arguing. I don't even care anymore. - Mr. Chancellor, run. - I would sooner eat a bullet than argue this further. - Sorry. - So here's what we're going to do. - I don't wanna die. - You're not being attacked. - Well, my teammates are, just 'cause I haven't taken any damage. (laughs) - I will be looking that up for later. I'm just, I just don't care. He can still attack. - His legs just don't work anymore. - He's immobilized until the end of this turn, so. Okay, here's what he's gonna do. He is going to use, he's gonna use double attack against Earth Egg.

- Motherfucker. My own team's killing me and now he's gonna try. He's gonna hurt me. - Uh, 24, will that hit? - No. - Yes. - 28 to 26 will though. Okay. Oh shit, that's not even that bad. There's a lot of ones. Well, you had. - 10 hit points, so it absorbed it all. - All right. Boom. (laughs) - Nice one, Tom. Tom, just say that aloud for the listeners. Let's just go. - I said that we're gonna win the group versus group fight 'cause we wage a war of attrition. The other groups are just gonna give up by this before we get to the end of the fight. (laughs) - Well, no, it's not group versus group.

It's group versus NPCs, but Jason will just go crazy. Who cares? So we'll stop it. - Oh my God, imagine. - The problem is it's really, really, really, really, really effective against one target. When you guys are fighting one thing, Diana. - No, no, but Jason, we'll have stuff against them and they'll also have stuff against us. So you'll have to keep track of all of it. It's all been messing up. - Fucking X-wings and TIE fighters just flying and fighting. (laughs) - Let's drink that Kool-Aid when we get to $3,000, okay? (laughs) All right, so that's the end of his immobilized and slowed.

- Yes. - Okay. - Yenward's turn. - Yenward. - No longer trusted. - Oh! - Yeah. (laughs) - That will hit. - Crusher. (groans) - 20. - Ooh. - Ooh, sorry, that was not gonna roll. - 28 damage to the dragon. - Plus something from Duncan, plus four. - Plus four. 32 damage then. - That's a good chunk. - That's a good chunk. And he's fully healed. - It's almost down, it's almost down. Oh, bloodied. - Wait, did it just get bloodied? - No, he was bloodied earlier. - Oh, okay. - He should be close to dead right now. - No, the blood spot always means damage. - Okay, red dragon's next turn.

- Okay. - Fucking move. - Stand up. - Dragon is going to stand up. - I hope he's not mad. - Oh God. Oh God, you're gonna be so pissed at me, Jason. - What is it? - What is it, Dan? - He slowed again? - Oh, Jason. - What is it, Dan? - It's Yenward, hit him. - Let me just close. - So, slowed again, okay. - Target, Jason, hit Duncan. (laughing) - That's a chance. - Till the end of his turn, right? - Next turn. - Next turn. The end of his next, okay. - His thoughts like slowly typed out, like you could hear them hammering out. - I know, I'm so sorry. - What is it, Dan? - S-L-O, no, okay.

As long as I keep track of it, I'm fine. Okay. - I bet Jason's just like rethinking the entire dragon related storyline in Theria right now. - I'm rethinking a lot of my career decisions, a lot of my friendship choices. - Striking them from the canon. - Okay. All right, so he stood up, he slowed, okay. You know what we're gonna do? Here's what we're gonna do. - Uh-oh, I never liked that. - Let's do, oh wait, I gotta roll to see if his breath weapon recharged. - Well, he just does it every round. - Before he does do it, he does it every turn. - Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it didn't roll is the point. So it doesn't matter, it didn't recharge. Okay. Double attack versus Yenward. - Sorry, Yenward. - Crit. - Oh, fuck. - 39 damage. - Okay. - Second one's gonna miss. - Okay, we're good. - Thank God. - Okay, okay. - He's going to pop his second action points. - Jesus. - And he is going to... - Dirtbag was talking shit. - I wasn't, I'm sorry baby, I love you so much. - He is going to double attack Dirtbag this time. - He's gonna bounce me off the fucking tree. - Look at Malgus back there with his smug face. - That'll hit. That'll hit. - I have 51 health counting the uh-oh.

- Yeah, it doesn't knock me down. - Little is close. - You have fucking won. - And then I get a hundred hit points because I was a good kid in school. - Sisun, your turn. - Help me. - I'm seeing as I was prone on me, I'll take my move action to stand up. - Okay. - Restore Vitality. - What does that do? - Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. - Okay. - For the audience listening at home because it's not a visual thing, the target regains hit points equal to your healing surge value and you make a saving throw. I don't need to make a saving throw, but you know. - Okay. - It wasn't my interaction by the way.

- Okay, obviously you are no longer stunned. - Thank you. - You are stunning though. - Oh. - Shine like a diamond. - All right, so then, sorry, I'm just talking with my, that was a minor using another minor, wait, standard? And I can use two minors, right? Because, oh no, I can move. No, yeah, fuck it, I'll just use- - Well, you did, you're standing up, right? - Yeah, that was my standard, so then two minus. - Okay, I'll use my other minor to target him again with divine challenge. And I am not targeting anybody except myself, so. - Ground it yourself. - Yeah, let's go ahead and take that off and put it over there.

And then we'll pop it to find challenge and I'll call it a turn 'cause I can't do anything else. - All right, Duncan, your turn. All right, so, okay, this is a, this is my standard action. So I'm going to use the, I'm gonna use cannon of avoidance. I will, let me untarget him, target Dirthag. And- - Boom. What does that do? - I just gave Dirthag plus two to all defenses until the end of my next turn. I can also use a minor to sustain the effect. And if I sustain it, I can transfer it to another ally within 10 squares, so. That is, and you know what? I'm gonna move on back a little bit with my move and I'm done, so.

- Okay, that's pretty smart. - Malchus, your turn. - Okay, let's go. Just double checking. - Malchus, if you're making a ranged attack, if you come closer to me, you're gonna get a plus two. - I do, well. - If you're making a- - You can flank him 'cause at any time you try to flank him, he's gonna bat your way to his tail. - Yeah. - Okay, I'll shift over and buddy up with you with Seesoon. And then I will Eldritch Bolt, something I do. Still got the, no? No, I'm not targeting the dragon. Okay, so I want to go control click and control click. Now I'm targeting the dragon.

This is Eldritch Bolt. Plus one damage against blade enemies, something like that. Racial thing, I'm a JP. I wanna say that's correct. I don't know if that'll calculate in. An ash one, whatever. - Oh my God. - I don't do damage anymore. It's not my thing, I'm over it. That was so masked character, that was just. - I'm a knitter, I'm more of a knitter. - Malchus is a bit rusty. - I feel so bad, he's having the worst dice roll day. - He needs to get back into it. Just get back into it. - Okay. - I wish I could say I'd absorbed at least one single target blows so that I soak some hit points for you guys, but I think everything's been a group hit.

- You know what it was? Malchus, you didn't do your, we did a bunch of rolls before and you didn't get all the bad rolls out. - That's true, I didn't walk it out. - You didn't. - You gotta stretch. - What's my excuse, Dan? - All right. - You hit storm render. - I mean, Diana's turn everyone, hunker down. - Please kill. - Oh geez, I'll mute. - That is a miss, damn it. - 24. - So miss effect, the target is dazed until the end of its next turn. So let's see, do I have that on here? Dazed, that's a miss, dazed, boom. And then effect, because this is a burst and this is just an effect that happens.

Each ally in the burst, it's a burst two, so I guess that'd be dirtbag and yen word, can shift up to four squares as free action, which I don't know if you guys wanna do that, and gain a plus four power bonus to damage rolls until the end of my next turn. - Jason, quick question. That flanking move that the, no sorry, that defensive reflex move that the dragon has, is it only when you're flanking from behind it or flanking full stop? - Any flanking. - Okay. - What if they shift to get in that position? Is that still? - Anytime they move into a position where it's flanking.

- Okay, so we can shift up to four. - Don't do that guys. - You can shift up to four. - Can I shift up behind a tree and like far, far away from everyone else? - I mean, if you don't wanna hit it your next turn, but sure. - Am I dazed still? - Do you have any ranged attacks? - You're not stunned, no. - Okay. - I don't think dirtbag has any ranged attacks, no. - I'll go right here so I don't get fucking pelted with my allies' bolts. - It's a good move, actually. - 'Cause I ain't gotta get away from him. No one wanted to give him a sword. - Okay, anything else, Diana?

- My turn is done. I'm gonna save and no. - Shit, dirtbag, your turn. - I wanna pray to all the gods and I'm going to hit him with Ambush's Rage. Please have what? - 24, that's gonna miss. - Well, I still hit him with half damage. - Okay. - And plus four to that. - So do I press on the modifier plus four? - No. - Roll damage. - Just, no, wait, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - So go up to the modifier on the right side of the screen, the plus minus. - Yeah, on the bottom left? - Yep, click half. Then roll damage. - How do I click half? - On the right side of the screen, all the way up top.

- Yeah. - The plus minus button, the modifiers it says. - Oh, shit. - Then half. - Modifiers. I'll put half. And now I just close that window and I just roll damage. - Right. - That's something else. 24. - Okay, so half damage there. Make sure that rolled half damage. Yep, it did, okay. - Plus four? - And plus four. Yep, on it. - Sweet. - Okay. Anything else, sir? - No. - Okay, Theo. Seven, he is going to target the dragon. Everyone. - Yay, Theo. - Seven, just barely. Please, crit him. - That was gonna miss. - Fucking worth it. I'm gonna fucking kill you. - The only time he hits.

- He's only hit a teammate. - Would you soon say you're terrible? - You are terrible. - Just terrible. - Oh, breath weapon did not recharge. - Yes, fuck you dragon. - Okay. Okay. He's dazed. - Oh, and he is marked. We haven't been, it's okay. We'll just do it from now on. - No, no, no, no, 'cause I died. I go back up and then I retarget him. - Yeah. - So it did, oh, so you just, okay. Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. - So we can only take one action. Okay. - Look at Malchus's fucking face over there. (laughing) Just asking for it. - What's wrong with my face?

- It's not in his face. - You know you should hit Theo. - Yeah, dude, fuck Theo. - Get him out of there. - He's shooting crossbows at you. - No, but then he'd be by me and I don't want that. - You can run while he's devouring Theo. - All right, he is going to, this dragon is going to rear back, open his mouth wide, and you're going to see just heat bubbling within it. Like the air is wavy around his mouth and he is going to lurch forward and try to bite down on Dirthag. - Damn it, I didn't do anything to you. - He is going to take some damage because he's not attacking me.

- Well, the thing that Dirthag has, he has a bonus to his... - Plus two to all defense. - I'm good to attack, right? Sorry. - What is it? - I'm good to attack now. - Why would you be good to attack now? - Well, I'm saying like before I was stunned, I'm just like, there's a trigger that I have curtain of steel that... - Well, you're not stunned, you just took a turn. - You're not stunned, yes, you can attack it. - It's immediate reaction, so I don't know if that's before or after this. - Reaction is after, it's not in your eye. - Okay, after, all right. - So let's see if you're alive.

- Probably not. - The plus two is already added in the map 'cause it's an effect on Dirthag. - Yes, it's already, okay. - So just attack. - Not that. - Okay, here we go. 23 will miss. - Yes. - Oh my God. - I'm so fucking happy, I'm rock hard right now. - That's... - End of dragons. - End. - 'Cause he was dazed. No, he's not, he shouldn't be dazed. - Then we're killing. - I kinda wanna run, but okay. - Swing away. - All right, swing away. - He'll attack me if I try to run, right? - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - He'll attack you. - So fuck it, I'm just gonna attack him. - At this point, he's got to be dosed in.

- I'm gonna use reckless strike. - That'll hit. - Oh my God. - Thank you, Jesus. - Oh my God. - Oh 44 damage to the dragon. - How is he not dead? - Let Jason finish. - 44 damage to the dragon is finished. That's, that's, that's, is there anything else, sir? - Uh, can I take a potion as a minor action? - Oh yeah, okay, dude, I'm totally gonna do that. And because of my mighty surge, if you'll remember you guys, anytime I use a healing surge, I gain a plus two power bonus to all defenses and a plus one power bonus to my attack rolls. I'm using my character. All right, and that's the end of my turn.

- The all red dragon. - Red dragon's turn. - You did that for me, right? The healing surge? needs to roll to save for that because I didn't do it automatically it's just roll d20. okay well okay stop sorry one second let's go back again where you get a roll 2d8 plus 10 oh I'm sorry doo doo doo doo doo okay okay also he slowed because you know it hit him and Duncan's thing Dan you might unlock your doors night stop apologizing okay I I he's gonna use double claw and dirthak this is probably it 24 is gonna miss 26 is gonna miss thank you Dan I love you I'm gonna kiss you when I see you again just remember that see soon your turn I want you kill dude yeah all right okay I'm gonna move for what the dragon dead don't don't do that don't do that don't do that go by inward go by inward just go by inward don't do that cuz you're flanking it'll hit you go by inward right okay so I've moved use the power hallowed circle hit 2d6 plus my charisma modifier effect the burst creates a zone of bright light that allows until the end of the encounter you and allies gain a plus one power bonus to all defenses on while within the zone okay so hmm my thing has a what you call it a sword hmm a sword a blood drop and a zombie hit sword talking the dragon correct yes making sure okay that's a miss that's 20 yeah 20 okay but the other miss effect the sorry the hallowed circle full effect yeah I can I'm assuming not because it says I'll read it again let's take a look let's do it again I'll read it again the burst creates a zone of bright light that lasts until the end of the encounter you and allies gain a plus one power bonus to all defenses while within the zone its charisma versus reflex hitting the dragon by mist so do I create the zone or no the effect yeah you get the effect cool so there's a zone around me you guys get plus one to all your defenses as well as in shining armor which gives you a plus one to your AC and pack attack which gives you a plus two to your attacks so that's it that's nothing more I can do just let everybody know um if you double click on your power it'll show up in the chat so everyone can look at it so you don't have to oh yeah oh sorry very cool that's fine don't get started Duncan your turn okay um first off he's gonna he's gonna sustain the miner on Durath egg um or sustain on Durath egg though that's his mind um he's gonna look over at Diana and say I'm going in any runs and hides behind a tree he's gonna say hey you call yourself a dragon I've seen Drake's okay so to anyone that's five scores away from Diana she's invisible so Duncan just heard it said something to thin air and then I've known you were there but she doesn't know that everyone who's looking on is not know that man a 31 miss that's okay yeah his feels ridiculous it's dragons are willful creatures but malkus your turn oh my gosh is this is this gonna be a malkus notable kill no you're gonna roll a one yeah maybe he's do for yourself come on ram jam why do I have this - to do attack the top rope Ricky that's needs to say for the net - - and you have that until you save because yeah something the dragon did so safe yeah so there okay makos is turn so I still have a - to do attack um right Turner don't take a penalty to wait I have a I have a feat um are you it is all there's no it's coming stop it done cocking from Jesus just an advantage okay I have combat advantage for ranged or area text instantly to be flanked by man oh but you guys don't like it they're totally not don't go up to because then we'll just hit you so yeah he'll use he'll use tail whip it'll be super effective so fences it doesn't even hit you for damage that's ridiculous Jason I'm calling bullshit I get to the void for battle right because I'm level 11 I want to say that's that's a thing yes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's still melee this is like okay so I'll just pull I'll just pull I'm targeting him yes here goes that is on my screen it had it it was on the 18 for like half a second then it like finished landing on the floor like you good jolly it's like roulette when it lands on everything you're like yes then it goes you get these dice weighted just need a cheat to hit anything else uh hunker down okay I'll just Diana's turn does with the rest of his action sauce the miss and I'm gonna save and then I'm done okay oh my god right dearth egg your turn resurgent strike on dragon please hit that's it Chris that's resurgent strike it's part of the attack you're doing it the most complicated fashion I got you all right so I'm attacking the drag Dallas okay shift strength it's a max out of 34 days okay there you go no the dragon's gonna rear back though it is on its is on its last legs your I'm gonna heal now okay there you go okay any dulcimer do that just we started dragon guys don't go over to kill him 18 it's a house 15 damage to the dragon the dragon is going to recoil and almost fall but not quite oh yeah we need your trumpets you gotta get ahead of free I wanted it pretty oh so bad dude it's a bittersweet victory if I get my head obviously red dragon is going to target dearth egg and use double claws crit ah well okay he takes aerated damage because he didn't talk to me no I'm not dead okay am I yeah you're dying what we'll get second claw strike on dearth egg that's still gonna hit definitely that will be enough to outright murder dearth egg no wait wait what was what was the you said there was extra defense because of a soo soon was that does that change anything it's way too hot 30 okay well wait what was that in shining on plus one AC shining yeah that's not gonna do it and then cuz then I had to remember it's not gonna be enough he says he's 26 20 that'll bring it up to 29 it's still 33 that'll hit and what was the damage didn't you say that because didn't didn't so soon have a marked yeah yeah but that's gonna take extra damage guys I'm gonna put my hand on all of your shoulders and just say you lost it it's okay yanward your turn um I'm gonna use reaping lunch okay that will hit the dragon so key dokey shit you have killed the dragon yeah Jason how many hit points did he have left can you just tell us that was just enough to kill it plus five okay so yeah Theo did it wouldn't have it wasn't no point away or anything cuz no so at least it wasn't it's not heartbreaking yeah it's heartbreaking is it was the very next turn I feel drained I just feel like you to well what do we get can we at least find out what we get from this you can't harm on this layer it doesn't carry things no it's it doesn't have pockets can I harvest you get like our scales I want it's teeth okay reserved for those stood up and fought it I want eyebrows hold on I was joking about the TV I think that's a good time for us to stop just because obviously Delmar's gotta go yeah and we just lost a character let's let's but the team talk it was yeah but the the that was more of just a curiosity I wasn't actually talking about taking that stuff from a certain yeah everyone else did level up that's I'm sorry Justin you know what things happen you know I mean I don't I felt bad while it was going on but at the same time it's like at least it was a new character where it wasn't like I have a story plan to the dire bears it wasn't anything like that so pillage you're like you found that character is the problem yeah I definitely did I found him but he also found that dragon well I mean at the same time you guys can pillage him Diana you could finally get that broad sword that you always wanted I think the real lesson here is that this entire thing is all to blame on Tom because he rolled a quick one yes so fucking I rolled an 18 what would we have fought like it's like like like that's we we would have found a small deer in the woods and we would have murdered it that's what would have happened and it would have helped her tag in the face and he would have died you would have enjoyed a nice sunrise and then what and then after that we would have started saying like okay what that deer have in his pockets run his pocket that deer I want them hooves tips on the antlers Oh Delmar is gone okay oh okay yeah he had both he had to roll like real bad right I got a room close the table he said sorry oh no no I get it no he's he's all right he's an all right guy um if anyone knows the pain of losing the character you just found