Before the Storm

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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We have yet to look up something that we could not find on their site. So go ahead and check them out and let us know what you think. Episode 119 is also brought to you in part today by Loot Crate. If you go to lootcrate.com/dandr, you can get a percentage off of your subscription. If you don't know what Loot Crate is, it is a random assortment of cool nerd stuff packed in a little box and sent to you each and every month. Every month there's a theme and everything in the box has something to do with that theme. This month it's all about cyber. So think Terminator Genisys, there's going to be an exclusive T-shirt for something in there.

There's going to be something themed to Borderlands, so something to do with that if you're into Borderlands and I very much am. Then there's going to be something in there for you. Again, every single month it's a brand new theme and you still have a few days of the 20th is the cutoff. So if you get on board by the 20th, you can get on board the Cyber Crate and see what's going on in there. Give them a try and let us know what you think. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Jasper.

Hey, this is Jasper. I play Maric, Ethelred, Human and Cleric. And Mac. Hi, I'm Mac and I play Caluna Volgheris, the Wildling Shaman. -And Izzy. -Hi, I'm Izzy and I play Una, the Half-Elf Podden. -And Bree. -Hi, I'm Brianna and I play Jotzia Grace, the Human Warlock. Okay, last time on the show, guys. You tried to use diplomacy in the alley with Seraph. That didn't go as well as it could have. Thankfully, Craig stepped in at the last minute and it appears as though no one got hurt, no one got stabbed. Everything's fine. Una and the party also found out that Julie is Una's half-sister and that Seraph wanted her dead and there was a really good reason for that.

Julie's mom actually killed Seraph's sister and there's been a long-standing thing going on there. So, after the alley, what would you guys like to do here? I would imagine you're all heading back to the house. That sounded like that's what you wanted to do at the end of the last session. Yeah, I think Maric was planning on hosting. So he's going to go do some shopping and grab Caluna to, you know... Because the house has been a little bit in disrepair and I'm sure the kitchen is too and he wants to stock up for everybody. There's some paladins coming over, you know?

Yeah, just basically take Craig and people back to the house and talk. Yeah, no, just for canon, because this really matters. It would be a lot of really nice meats. Like, Maric's going to splurge. Really nice meats and cheeses, that sort of thing. Soft cheeses, hard cheeses. Probably going to get some really nice wine bottles, maybe a whole case. How many paladins are coming over? Well, unless you invite everyone over, it's going to be Craig, Julie, Una. Those are going to be the three main paladins. And then Craig's just getting settled back in. So this will be...

Yeah, they're still kind of cleaning up the city and such. Fine. He'll pare it down and just get a few nice meats and a few nice cheeses and some nice wine. I mean, there's a wine cellar. You can store the wine in the wine cellar. Well, he'll get a case for everybody. Right. OK. That's it. That's all. Nothing particularly special, but just nice stuff. Maric's gotten all this together. He's getting ready to do what Maric does best, and that's host. I would imagine everyone's just kind of hanging out in the living room area. Yeah, just chilling. I can't believe the guy who's serving us meat and cheeses and fine wine was like a werewolf 30 minutes ago.

It's very cute and kind of like getting his civilized... you know, savageness and separating it and stuff. Yeah, I mean, at this point, he's just pushing that stuff down in a way that he just rolls with it. I mean, he absolutely hates it, but he rolls with it. And it's just like, OK, that happened. Shake it off. Let's go. I'm going to fix this. Got friends. They're going to help. OK, let's move on. Plus just kind of renewed hope and trying to find a cure. Well, that's exactly it. Yeah. Just let's shake it off. It's cute. I like it. Helena's going to sit in the corner and weave flowers together.

She's sort of listening in on the conversation, but mostly like, yeah, yeah, sure. Cool. Whatever. So everyone would be in the same room here. And Julie would sort of be sitting down awkwardly. And I would imagine there'd be a bit of a silence. And eventually Craig would speak up. All right, so what happened? And he's more addressing Oona than Julie on this one. Good. What is he talking about specifically? Like what happened from the time... Well, the city's... I died or what happened to Esther? Why is it all fucked up? Everything. Like he's totally out of the loop.

He just got back into the city. The, you know, portions of it are in ruin. There was obviously a dragon attack beyond what Strahd did. Seraph has run amok. You guys were negotiating with him in an alley. Julie has taken charge. Like a lot has changed in the, you know, in the time that he's been gone. OK. So Oona would like look down and kind of look sheepish because, you know, she no longer has her faith. And now she's speaking to, you know, the person who gave her her faith, basically. So it's kind of awkward. It's like regifting something. You're like, "Oh, I don't have that anymore?" Um, so she's going to look pretty sheepish and just look up and say, "Where should I start?" Well, what happened after Strahd?

Well, I died and Brianna killed Strahd out of anger, brought me back to Esterhold, forced Julie to resurrect me, at which point I woke up from the void, having seen fucking nothing and knowing that core does not exist. And that was pretty upsetting. I may have taken out my anger on the temple a little bit. Julie is going to speak up. May have. And then she's going to kind of catch herself like Craig sitting right there. This is like, she doesn't want to squabble with you in front of him. But at the same time, it's like, "I may have." It's like, "What?" Like, "May have." Like, she's just kind of snapped at that.

She knows what I fucking meant. And Oona's going to give her like, when I was like, like a kind of poisonous side-eye glance. Like, "Fuck, shut the fuck up." And she'd say, "Look, I don't feel good about that, OK? It was a bit of an overreaction, but had you been through the same shit, you would have had the same." OK, so that was a thing and it happened. What the fuck did we do after that, guys? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to think back to all these things we've done since then. It's been a long time. -It's, yeah. -We came back to Esterhold. We left Esterhold.

What the fuck did we do? Oh, God. We went to Brightport? Yeah, so Merrick jumped back in after being away for a little bit. -Yeah. -And then Brightport. -We found you on the road, right? -Yep. OK, so, right. So you guys came back to Esterhold, or some of us did. And then we all left Esterhold to go to Brightport. Found Merrick on the way. No, we went to Overwatch. Overwatch. Oh, shit. My God, we've done so much since then. Holy fuck. -I know. Yeah, so Merrick was... -I just remember because we got shot at. Right, yeah. OK, so we went to Overwatch. Then we went to Brightport and met Merrick on the road.

Dropped Brianna off in Overwatch, right? Yeah. Went to Brightport, hung out in Brightport for a little bit. Jadzia fucked off to go get her soul back. We flew Amara. No, no, we didn't. We took the stone, the teleportation stone. We found Jadzia, we took her back. We rehabilitated her in Esterhold. Right, so then we came here, and then when we got here, we had an altercation with the paladins. Right? And then I blew the horn, and then the other dragons showed up, and they fucked up the place. I like to think that this is... I like to think this is all in character, where Oon is even confused at how much happened.

It's just like a shrug and stuff. Yeah. And then we did this, and then we did that. It's been like two and a half days, like total. No, it's been longer than that. Um, so Craig's gonna listen to you rattle this off, and the longer you go on, the more confused he's going to look. All right, let's back up. This is the second time that I've been told Brianna's the one that killed Strahd. Now, I've had this explained to me, but how? I heard the story, right? I'm guessing. -Oh, yeah. -Okay, so, um... So, like, she's a psion. She can channel power through emotion. She was understandably pretty upset when I died.

So she blew up the dragon's head. It was weakened, but she finished it off with way more power than any of us have. Aha. He's gonna start to look around the room here. All right, I could see that you've started to rebuild, but I'm guessing Seraph did this. Ooh, yes. -Jancy is gonna immediately eye Julie a little bit. -Yeah. Una's gonna look over at Julie like, "You got some 'splaining to do!" Like, just so gleeful. Julie, now it's time for Julie to look down. Like, very, very kind of ashamed. Actually, that was me and the paladins. That was you leading the paladins.

Badly. Again, now it's time for Julie to give a poisonous side-eye to Una. Oh, we're such good things. After Una assaulted me... After you attacked me... After Una came back and said that there was no cord and denounced the religion in front of all the paladins, refused to return the weapons to the temple... -Again! -...after I died and was made aware that there is no fucking cord. And Jancy is just in between them going, "Again, my house." Uh-huh. I'm also thinking of Marek sort of floating around, you know, making sure everything's sort of set up and bringing out sliced meats and cheeses.

And he's doing the sassy, "Mmm..." [laughter] every time Una says something. -Yes! -Mmm-mmm. Kind of clicking his tongue like... Yeah. Mmm-mmm. [laughter] You two really are such siblings, though. [laughter] It's like, "She tugged my hair. She broke my doll." I'm not touching you. Stop not touching me! Ow! [laughter] Um, Craig's gonna hold up his hand. All right. All right. Stop. [sighs] My understanding... is that Una came back... By the way, how did that happen? Didn't I tell him? You did, but he's trying to get the sequence of events in order so that he understands the argument.

And Julie's gonna speak up. "After her friend threatened to kill me, if I didn't bring her back, I brought her back and then spent three days recouping in the temple." And Craig's gonna look too, Una. Is that true? Yeah. I didn't want to come back. All right. So then you two got into it. And I'm guessing there was a fight and you didn't want to give up the weapons. No. All right. Have you two gotten any closer to a resolution on this? Julie's gonna look overdue. Una's gonna look kind of like... Like very sheepish, like being chastised by your father. And just be like, "Well, we did band together to prevent our father from killing Julie." Julie's gonna speak up.

We also took care of the dragons. -Oh, yeah, the dragons. -Yeah. Craig's just looking at the two of you. All right. Is there going to be another fight between you two? I'd like to think that silence is in character. Yeah, just dead silence. Una will look over at Julie like... Her fists are itching. She really wants there to be another fight. But she'll like... Slowly stick out her fist and then open it for a handshake towards Julie, just like, "Mm, okay." Julie's gonna kind of roll her eyes just a bit and then very slowly stick out her hand to shake Una's. And I would imagine... that both of them are gonna squeeze just a little harder than they probably need to.

-100%. -Yeah. Like that thing you do when you're shaking somebody else's hand and they're buff and you're just like... Just trying to crush their hand a little bit, you know? [LAUGHS] Craig's gonna go, "All right, that's what I like to see." [SIGHS] Okay. What were you gonna do about Seraph if he did attack you? Kill him. Fair enough. He's actually gonna take some of this meat off of the platter here and just start to stuff his face with it. [SNIFFS] And then he's gonna look to Merrick. "Thanks. I was actually starving." Do you need anything else? "No, no, I'm fine.

Thanks." Merrick will go ahead and go back to the kitchen to get more anyway. [LAUGHS] He's gonna address the party. "I got knocked off the cliff and thankfully... "I was hung up on the side of it for a couple of days, dehydrated, "but a group came along and actually rescued me. "And I recouped with them for a bit and here I am. "So... "I was very... kind of somber about it a little bit, but... [CLEARS THROAT] "I was actually told on their ship that you had died "and Brianna was trying to get you back to Esterhold at the time. "They were the group that bound your soul to your body, "so that bought you a bit more time." I mean, I suppose I should thank them when I meet them.

I'm not so sure how I feel about being alive still, but they are to thank for that. "You and I need to talk when you have time." And his face is getting real serious when he's saying that. Ugh. And he's gonna look down at her burned, blackened-out, tattooed arms and just like... "Oh, fuck." Um... That was in character. Um... Just... She's really not looking forward to whenever that happens. It's just kind of not like... Yep, that's... Yeah. Craig's gonna stand up and... I'm gonna go check on things at the temple and make sure the paladins are squared away. If you do have time later, I'd like to talk, but...

Until then, I'm gonna get a little rest. And he's gonna motion for Julie to come with him. -Caught. -And Julie's gonna get up and join him by the front door. What would the party like to do here? Before they leave, Merrick would like to sort of wrap up something for them to take. -Honestly... -God damn, you're a good host. Well, I mean, you know, there's a lot of this stuff, and it was bought for the guests, and, you know, you give them something to part with, so... Also, he's... I mean, he didn't know Craig very much at all, but he understands, and the thought was that he was just gone.

So this is a big deal. So he's, you know, he's sort of being respectful. Poluna's just gonna mad dog Julie. I'm like, "Yeah, get the fuck out." [LAUGHTER] Julie, before she leaves, is actually going to, for the first time, reach over to this platter here and very quickly stack the ingredients for a sandwich. [LAUGHTER] Like, very quickly, just like... And take things, and go. Like, very quickly, like... [LAUGHTER] Una will give Craig a hug before he leaves. Just 'cause he's back. -Yeah. -And, like, regardless of any, you know, yelling at that she's gonna get later, she'll just, like, grab him into a hug and just be like, "Hey, look, I'm really glad you're back." Yeah, he'll hug the shit out of Una right back.

Yeah. Suck it, sis. Just fucking Julie. [LAUGHTER] Daddy likes me better. It is 100% a competition. I think it's kind of weird how you both have the same shitty father and then you both went out and found the same, like, adopted father. [LAUGHTER] Okay, so, rest of the party. What would you like to do here for the rest of the day? Weave in flowers. Okay. It's serious business. [LAUGHTER] Is it more... Okay, for Kaluna, is that more of a meditation thing? Is it just something that helps clear their mind or is it just something they like to do? Um, sort of both, but it's mostly being done for a purpose.

-Okay. -'Cause flowers are fancy and I care too much about flower language. [LAUGHTER] Um, what about Jadzia? Um... Una would like to talk to Jadzia, if that helps. That does help because I was wondering if Jadzia would want to talk to Una. That's why I was pausing. It's like, "Should they talk? Should I wait?" So, yeah, um, I suppose if they aren't looking for each other, then they just find each other eventually. -I mean, it's a small room. -Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Kind of clarify that they're sitting next to each other. [LAUGHTER] I think Una would want this to be more like a private conversation, so she'd be like, "Hey, let's go for a walk or something," you know?

"Sure, we can go through the corpse maze that's been flattened." [LAUGHTER] Just crunching over bones and fucking leaves. And you can't tell the difference anymore. That kind of freaks you out. 'Cause you don't really care either. You feel like you should. You guys just have such a callous build-up at this point. And it reeks. Like, absolutely, the stench is horrible, but they're just walking normally. We stop noticing. [LAUGHTER] So by this point, Amara would be kind of hanging out... in the, uh, in the backyard area. Which is kind of her pen, I guess?

Like, this is where she chills out when she's not being used. And she's getting some rest, 'cause she just had a big fight. Pretty troubling ordeal today. Right, so Merrick wants to take out some snacks. Not that it's gonna be very much, but whatever he can manage. If he goes out to Amara, I think he would just sort of come up sort of calmly and just make sure that she could see him. Not startle her in any way. But would he have any reaction from her at all? Um, so you're bringing out pretty much the same meat everyone else was eating? Yeah, basically. Just whatever I can sort of scrounge up that would be at least something substantial, like a treat.

-I know it's not a meal. -I would say this is like someone popping a Ritz Bitz in their mouth. It's just more like a gesture. It's like, "Oh, um, well, yeah, yeah, she's pretty friendly and she's interacted with you guys a bit, so, um, this would be more something where she would have to stick out her tongue to grab it, kind of." That's totally cool. Merrick would be a little bit concerned. I mean, he just made her disappear out of thin air. -Right. -And I think he would be a little bit hesitant, and just to make sure... I think he would say to Amara, if she would seem to be friendly enough and he could get up right next to her and be like, "Do you... you understand what I did and why I did it, right?" Do me a favor.

Roll a perception check. 17. You're gonna notice that approaching her, she does seem a little skittish. Just a bit on edge. But she's gonna take the meat from you and then you're gonna ask her that and her eyes are just kind of focused on you. And she really doesn't communicate by shaking her head, really, all that much or anything, so just... She's going to lean forward a bit and then give Merrick a sniff and then just lick the entire side of his body. [laughter] He's going to steady himself and accept the lick. And, yeah, she's gonna exhale after that.

And, again, it's not enough to blow you over, but it's like a gust. It's like... -Just kind of... it's like... -Right. But, yeah, she doesn't seem to harbor any ill will toward... -Right. Well... -Toward Merrick. -Like, she kind of gets it. -Okay. I just know that the last time that Merrick did that was, I think, to Una, when she and Valus were fighting. And I know that it's... Depending on what you're prepared for, it can be shocking to just... -Right. -...wink out of existence and be in this... wherever, you know, like, darkness or something. So, I don't know.

I just wanted to make sure that that was cool. Yeah, Amara seems pretty cool with Merrick right now. Okay. That's all. That's all I needed to do. So, Jadzi and Una are going to take a walk. I guess if they're just, like, walking, just kind of taking a stroll. Once they get, like, far away from the house, and we'll just say, "Okay, so clearly the adventuring life is not... not so much for you, now that you have Valus and whatnot. Am I right?" The whole time they're walking, like, Jadzi is just kind of awkwardly keeping her arms around herself, like... And a few times she's even opened her mouth, but no words come out.

She just kind of quickly turns away and is like, "Look at this flower!" or something. And then when Una says that, like, she kind of relaxes a little bit and just nods. "Why haven't you told anyone? That's awesome!" Like, Una looks genuinely, like, so fucking happy. Because, like, that's not a thing that happens, you know? Adventurers, like, they adventure and then they die. You know, like... The number of people they've adventured with and have died, like... Fair enough. Jadzi is going to reach out and take up his hand. Like, she's so happy to hear that.

Like, she can't even control it. She just immediately reaches out. Almost kind of like, "I know, right?" And... After a moment of like, "Oh, thank God. "Valice and I both, we... "We owe so much to you and to the rest of the party, but... "Mostly to you." And she's going to squeeze the hand. "I don't... "As much as I want to give up the adventuring life, "I don't want to abandon you or Marek or Kaluna. "You've been my family for so long." "Duh!" I was actually making like a stupid face that entire time. So Una will like squeeze her hand just like completely overwhelmed with the minor emotions that are being shown.

And you say, "That is some bullshit. "Sweetie, you don't owe us anything. "We owe you. You are... "You made it out. "You get to have adventured and done that "and seen things that nobody else will ever see in their lives. "And you get to settle down and be happy. "That's the goal. That's the dream. "And it's not like you're vanishing off the face of the earth, you know? "You're still our family. You'll still be around. "We can come visit you. We can see your kids. "I can be an auntie." The more... The more Una talks, like, Jadzia's eyes start to mist up a little bit to the point where she's fanning herself with the hand that she's not holding.

Like, because this is probably the first time it has like really been said out loud by anyone besides her valis. And even when they talk about it, it's kind of like a, you know, when it happens kind of thing. So like, it's real. And then she's going to wrap her arms around Una and just squeeze her as tight as she can. I... I want to help Merrick. But after that... And then she's going to pull back and just like stare at Una's eyes. Almost like even after this whole conversation, she's still asking permission. So Una will like not even recognize it's like a permission.

Like just completely... She knows that's what Jadzia's going for. But she's just going to pretend that doesn't even exist. So yeah, after that, like, "Where do you guys want to live? We can set you up in Esterholds. "We can clean up the house or just burn it to the fucking ground." You know, get you guys set up in like a little cabin or a little house, garden. I mean, if you want to live in Esterhold, I'm biased because I love this city. But honestly, anywhere you guys want to live. I don't think we've ever actually decided on that. Every time we've spoken of it, it's been this one last thing.

We have to finish this. We have to finish that. I think that both of us were afraid to talk about it. Look, we're going to go get Merrick some help. That's going to be the last quest, the last adventure we go on together. Then we'll set you up. You guys should probably start thinking about this sort of thing. It's in the very not distant future. Right. Plus it helps if you have something to live for. I was going to sober up a little bit because they are going to the fucking swamps. Like, Jadzia is going to wipe away all of the stuff. Jadzia is going to wipe away before it actually goes down her cheek.

Because she's not like that. She's going to wipe away her eyes real quick. Una, I love him so much. I didn't think we'd make it. -Uh-uh. -Sorry. I knew that was going to happen. No, like, Una will have that look on her face. It's like, "I'm trying to be happy for you, but..." Like... She'll stick her tongue out just a little bit. Like, "Ugh." I just say, "Look, don't worry about it anymore. You made it. "You have your soul back. You have Valis. "You have a city that is hopefully on the rise. "You have a group of people who will do literally anything for you. "I think you're pretty well set and I think everything's going to be fine." Thank you so much.

"Now, you should probably tell everybody so we can throw you some sort of party." Do they even have party foods? I know we have pretty big rolls. Do we have happy foods? It's just grief rolls with tiny little streamers stuck in them. -It's a single candle. -Little party hats. A single black candle. To ward away evil. -Black is the color of joy. -In Tharia. And of course they have celebration food, Scott. Doritos. Mountain Dew. I like how you play along with the joke for like five, ten sentences and then immediately go to, "I'm offended that you think that's a thing." I'm not offended.

It's just like, "Well, yeah, of course." Like, if there's still a lingering doubt, "Well, yeah." Yeah, I guess now that... Because telling Una was probably going to be the hardest part for John C.S. So now I guess we could tell everybody. But probably ask Valus's permission first. That'd be weird. So, yeah, I guess we'll start back to the house unless you wanted to do something else while we were wandering around. Una will say one more thing to Jadzia before they get back to the house. Like, as they're getting closer, she'll kind of stop her for a second and just say, "Okay, I have something to confess." What is it?

"Ah, I miss her." Aw. Like, Una's super not okay with these feelings. Like, not having a good time here. But she felt like she needed to say it to somebody. Jadzia's going to stop short for a second, but she understands Una enough that immediately after she takes two steps to catch up and then just pats her on the back. So it'll all work out. Una will give her a side grin. Like, "Well, it did for you." I think things are happier than they've been in a long time. And you two will see each other again. Maybe you should tell her. And then that last part, she knows you're not going to be okay with that, so she walks a little bit faster after she says it. [laughter] This time Una will stop for a couple seconds and just shake it off and catch up.

Ew, telling someone how I feel about them. Gross. Let's have you guys get back to the house. This is making me feel like we're saying goodbye. Stop it. Tell me it doesn't feel like that. No, no, no. We're just having a good time, Jason. Yeah, we are playing for the future. That is the opposite of goodbye. Oh, my God. Not in fair. This has never been done. You guys are calling your shot. Have you ever watched a movie? [laughter] This is like the way you ride on the way to the drop zone. Let me pretend that everything's going to be perfectly fine. Nothing's going to go football.

Jettsey just did the roleplay equivalent of taking out a picture of your sweetheart. I'm just two days away from retirement. [laughter] Right, stop it. Jettsey and Una are going to get back from their walk and rejoin the rest of the party. Valis is milling about. Sheldon is in the house, sort of scampering back and forth, bouncing off of furniture. And he'll do this from time to time, where it appears as though he just gets restless, nothing's going on, and he'll just fuck with things, like take throw pillows off the couch and toss them on the other side of the room, or kick a cup off of the coffee table, or just be violent and destructive, but in a very tiny hurricane.

Do your Sheldon impression. [imitates Sheldon] Just that. Sheldon down, and just as soon as she walks in, like, "No!" And as soon as Jettsey walks in, it's like, "Eh." And just leap off the couch and then just kind of curl up on the floor, like, "I wasn't doing nothing. I didn't do shit." Una will kind of nod towards Valis, like, "Yeah, go talk to him. I'll take Merrick." Cool. Okay. So Jettsey will kind of take Valis aside, too, and just kind of brief him on, like, "Hey, I talked to Una. Everything's okay." By the way, did you know we're supposed to live somewhere?

Did she...? Did you know we needed a house to do this, like the plan that we had? This is... Okay, it's gonna hit him, too? Like... Huh. Like, there's just gonna be a look that comes over, it's like, "I didn't think that far ahead." Like, very matter-of-fact, like, "I did not get this thought." And Jettsey is just like, "Me either." These are the two adults that we're rooting for, right? That didn't realize they had to live somewhere? "Well, where do you want to live?" She's going to just kind of shrug and say, "Wherever you do." That's gonna hit Valis.

He's almost gonna recoil like, "That was too sweet. That's too much." Like, that... And he's gonna lean forward and... He's gonna wrap his arms around Jettsey. "Well, it's not like we don't have options. We could live in Brightport, though... Could we not live in Brightport?" And it's one of those things where it's like, "Well, my mom has a place there, and she has money and property and everything." And then as soon as the words come out of his mouth, it's like, "But let's please not do that." [LAUGHTER] Jettsey will smile and pat his hand. We don't...

Like, shake our head. We don't have to go to Brightport. That's his New Jersey. [LAUGHTER] You do own a house here. Though... And he's almost gonna kind of trail off. Like, that's... Yeah. You probably don't want to live here. Jettsey is going to kind of lower her eyes, and it's very obvious that while staying here from time to time was okay, she does not want to be here. At least in this house, the way it is right now. It still has all those bad memories, and she does not want to spend the rest of her life here. Well, what do you feel about this city? I guess... there are enough people here that we could be safe, and they are good people.

And then she's gonna shrug 'cause she remembered Sarah, and she's like, "Most of them." It's better than Brightport. True. I still own the land. We could just start over. Honestly, I'm fine with whatever you decide. I don't even particularly like this house. I imagine this whole conversation, he's kind of leaning over her, and they're forehead to forehead discussing this. Dude, it's very cuddly. It's very... Yeah. Overbearing couple stuff. [MIMICS SOUNDS] Are you snugglebug? -Fuck. -God. I hate this so much. I could only handle, like, so much of this, guys. I know.

Well, I have been saving anything that I could. Why don't we go take care of Marek and make sure that that is done? And then when we get back, we can talk about what we want to do. It's pretty much table the whole discussion. When we come back, we can stay in the mansion while we figure out what we want to do with the land. Burning down everything is maybe a little premature. Yeah, we could just change the wallpaper. Yeah, cart before the horse, maybe. So while Jadzia and Valis are doing their weird, gross, cuddly shit, Una will go up to Marek and say, "Hey, uh, can I have a word?" Uh, yeah, totally.

What's up? So we... Jadzia and Valis are gonna leave eventually. They want to come on this one last thing to help you out, and then they're gonna take off and start a life. Hmm. Yeah, Marek would... It would sink in and I think he would start nodding. Like, yeah, of course. Like, yeah, I guess that was coming. So I think we should hang out here for a couple of days, kind of get our shit together, get prepared, 'cause this is not gonna be easy. I'd like to throw a party for them. I know that's kind of your forte. Um, housewarming/goodbye/welcome to your new life theme.

Marek's gonna just be sort of taken aback a little bit. Like, he's gonna have a look of almost shock on his face. And he's gonna say, "Are you kidding me? That's what I was made to do." And he's gonna start beaming. Oh, thank God, I was so scared. He's like, "Are you fucking shitting me with wearing a party instead of going to hell?" Okay, yeah. Holy shit, it scared me. And then he turns into a werewolf. -Yeah. -Tricks your face off. -Definitely the walls with your blood. -No, no, no, he's... No, he's gonna do the, "What? I can't... I don't even... Yeah, of course we're gonna throw them a party.

Are you kidding? Where is she? Does she... I mean, are they telling people? Is this... Are you just... Is this a secret? Or are we gonna... Are they gonna be part of the deal? Like, what's happening?" He's excited. He's actually... I mean, he's just coming off of hosting, you know, Craig and Julie. And he's all of a sudden, now he gets to... -He's coming off that high. -Yeah, seriously. -This is the big list. -Yeah, you don't... I need another one, man, come on. He's like, he's making lists in his head. He's just... He's getting this... Yeah, he would be super excited about this.

But he's asking, are they telling people? Is this a secret? Is this... Are we throwing it... Is it a surprise party? What's going on? What's the deal right now? No, Jadzia told me and she's talking to Valass about it right now. And I don't think it's a secret anymore. -Okay, okay. -No worries about surprise parties or anything. Ah, okay, great. I don't want them to go, but if they're gonna go, they're gonna go out in style. We're just gonna give them the biggest fucking grin, like, "Oh, yeah, buddy." -Damn straight. -And just slap him on the shoulder, like, "Yeah." We should say, "Let me know if you need money, anything.

We will make this a party to fucking remember." Cool. I'll get... Pluna and I will take care of all the plans and then I'll let you know if we need anything. But listen, as far as the other stuff goes, you know, the werewolf thing, I'm not expecting for that to happen overnight. I know we've got to be prepared. We have to have a plan. We have to figure out how we're gonna be traveling. Everything has to fall into place. And I promised you that I needed to be prepared for something like that. And I've got to take time to do it. So I'm not worried about that.

Okay, good. I'm sorry we have to wait, but I think it's the best. I need the time. Trust me. Okay. Okay, good talk. Good talk. Let's do it. Is Merrick gonna be like, "Hey, Pluna, we've got to shop for a party." Oh, yeah, he is. I don't know what's happening next. But yeah, that's basically the next thing that's gonna happen. Okay, Pluna is going to look absolutely pissed. And they're going to stop what they're doing. And they're gonna reach over and grab some flowers that they were working on. They're mostly whites and yellows with a few purples and blues. And they're going to slam it on Merrick's head.

And then they're going to grab this big thick rope of like pretty pastel flowers and they're going to go find Valus. Oh, no. I just imagine Pluna holding it like she's gonna strangle him with it. They're gonna strangle him with it with like a perfectly neutral expression on their face. Like wrapping it in one hand to grab it more. It's the prettiest grottwire you've ever seen. Valus would still be standing next to Jadzia. He stands out in a room, so he's not hard to find. Okay, Pluna's going to stomp up to him, clearly just furious, and they're going to throw him.

They're just gonna fling the rope onto his head and then they're gonna go back to Merrick. They wasted all this fucking time on these flowers and now they've got to pick up new flowers. Okay, Valus looks perplexed. Does not understand what's going on and he's gonna look over to Jadzia. What was that? At first, Jadzia's gonna try to hide the fact that she's giggling and then she can't anymore and she's just laughing. And then once she calms down, she's gonna shrug and take the flowers and I don't know, what would I do with them? Wrap around your neck like a feather boa.

Hells yeah. Or twine them in the soul hat. They still sit on my head. They were woven into a really thick thing because they were supposed to go on Valus's horns. That was the thought. -Because he can't really... -I like that Kaluna thought that Valus was gonna go along with that. Yeah, it's like dressing up a cat. Like 100% certain that was gonna be okay. It's how things go with Kaluna, okay? God. Okay, Merrick is gonna start prepping for a party. Yeah. And Kaluna's going to assist, I would imagine. -Yep. -In the flower department. Mm-hmm. What would everyone else like to do?

Luna will go talk to Craig and go shopping for a present for Jadzia and Valus. Okay. Craig would be at the temple. Again, not hard to find. He told you right where he'd be. You're gonna find Julie there too. And those two are gonna be talking when you walk in. Luna will be not wearing her armor. Just because she feels like the less aggressive she appears around Julie, the better. So she'll be just wearing, you know, her stereotypical "not wearing my armor, I'm wearing my black dress" dress. But she'll walk in like she fucking owns the place. Roll a perception check.

So 26. You're gonna notice as soon as Julie makes eye contact with Luna, you're gonna guess that there was some kind of talk before you got there. And she's doing the same thing that Luna's doing in the trying not to look overly aggressive. So as soon as she sees Luna, just kind of gonna avoid eye contact right away and she's gonna get ready and excuse herself from the room 'cause she figures that you guys are gonna wanna talk. Does she look sheepish? Like can I tell how their talk went? It looks more like it was more intense than... If you had to take a guess, she did not go gently into that good night.

She was arguing her case for why she did what she did and what she was doing and all that. And this is more, OK, we'll finish this up later. And, you know, yeah. Craig, on the other hand, looks happy to see Luna. Like not angry or anything like that, but you could tell that that was an intense conversation. OK. And Julie, as she passes by, just kind of give one of those like bro-ish head nod type things. [sighs] Luna will like recognize that like she's doing that, like kind of like, "Yeah, I'm tough. Hey, sup?" And just give her like just the biggest over the shoulder grin, like as she walks past her.

This is gonna be interesting. OK. So in the back area, which is where this is at the temple, this kind of like a sitting room type of thing, it's Craig's office, for lack of a better term, which was temporarily Julie's office. Nothing's been moved or changed. This is still very much Craig's office. Not a damn thing was altered in any way. Seems so unlike Julie. Well, people alter her things too, like her armor. -She had it coming. -And the temple. She only had herself to blame. Are we seriously arguing that? If you had been there... If you'd have seen it. You would have done the same.

Ma'am, thank you, Bree! Craig's gonna offer you a seat like right away. Just, you know, just kind of point to a chair. Just have a seat. Cool. Yeah, we'll sit down, obviously. We should talk about what you saw when you... when you died temporarily. OK. If you're gonna do the whole Julie thing... Like, she's gonna start talking like that and just stop like, "OK, no." Right. He's gonna hold his hand up. All right. Let's put that aside for a few minutes. You two are grown adults. I'm sure that you can deal with your problems like adults. And more of like, "Right?" Like he's kind of opening his eyes a little wider.

What I'm trying to ask is, are you all right? That is not what Uun was expecting at all. She was expecting to get chewed out. So this is gonna come as kind of a shock. But she'll be very touched. So it's just gonna look like... sheepish that she went in expecting to fight and is now being asked like, "Oh, are you OK? What's up?" So, yeah, I... kind of... know. I don't know how to answer that. Well, let's start with... what exactly did you see when you died? Nothing. A void. No sight, no sound, no feeling. But consciousness. Floating alone with nothing. Ever. Craig's gonna look down after you say that.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Do you mind if I told you a story? I think I know where this is going. But sure, go ahead. When I was younger... and... I was a bit more active in the field with the other paladins. We'd gotten ambushed and... for the briefest of periods... I actually died. I didn't see anything either. And he is going to look... There's a very... specific expression on Craig's face. Like looking into Una's eyes, just waiting... to see her reaction to that. Kind of like... First, kind of panic. Like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no." Like, "No, you're supposed to be the faithful one." Like, "No." And then like a little bit of anger.

And just say... "And... "And you still believe?" At the time, I just... I figured that I hadn't earned it. Yet. Maybe there was something I could have done or should do. And now? I'm... not sure. I'd like to think... that there's something... bigger... than us... out there. That... after all the fighting... and the squabbling... and the scraping... that there's something better in death for us. Oh, God. I'm just gonna look like really pissed, like super angry. Not at Craig, just kind of at everything. And just to say, "Look, there isn't. "There can't be." I believed with every part of my fucking being.

Most of who I was was believing in that shit. I died fighting a legendary dragon and went into the fucking void without blinking, without a heartbeat of fear. And now... I don't have that faith anymore. And it's been replaced by nothing. Except... slowly... and surely... my friends have replaced that. My... my city. The people I care about. They are what's most important to me now. And I have seen what's possible. Jadzia and Valis, my two best friends. Jadzia is my sister. They... they get... what we thought was what in heaven. They... that is going to happen for them... on this earth.

Not in the next life. There is nothing except what you make for it here. And if that's not fucking terrifying... I don't know what is. Craig's gonna sit back... just kind of exasperated like, "Ugh, God." "I need a drink." "You want a drink?" Hell yes. Um, and he is going to stand up and go back to his desk. And in the bottom drawer... there is an unopened bottle of Skull Splitter that has been kept there for just such an occasion. Oh, goody, Skull Splitter. Do I still have a taste of her? I... I would... It's been long enough now that, you know, it's just... you have a not so fond memory of it, probably.

I mean, you know... -Yeah, it's better after a short... -Wait, she has any memory of it? I'm sure. That's a good point. It probably just erased that whole part of my brain. [coughing] She remembers what she drank, just not what happened so much afterward. Um, and he is going to... he's gonna pour a shot for each of you. I still believe in what we do. And I believe in why we do it. And... I don't... have a good reason for you. But I... I still believe in the temple and cord and... everything here. Somebody has to. And I want that to be me for the longest time.

But it can't be Julie. What is your problem with her exactly? Look, she is my sister. We have established that. But she just... she's not right for it. She's not a good leader. Even at my most vindictive, I would never, ever have done... what she and the paladins did to Jadzia's house. That... that doesn't make any sense. It's... it's not what cord does. Regardless of belief or not believing, I still stand for... courage and strength. And that was the most underhanded cowardly she ever seen. We had a talk about that, actually. And I don't agree with what she did or the way she did it.

I will say that both of you... might have been going through an adjustment period. And perhaps you both handled it poorly. You would just come back... and... I can understand why you're angry. I can understand why you did what you did in the temple. I... don't hold any grudges about it. It probably was not the right time for Julie to come talk to you about it at all. And... had it been me, I think I would have given you some more time. Keep on waiting for the butt. I'm gonna just, like, kind of, like, nod her head, like... "Thank you." I just... Regardless of... my beliefs or lack thereof, the temple is important to me, and has always been.

And... I want this city to be better than it was. It's been through some rough shit. And... please promise me that you are... you're going to take back control of the temple. Because under her, they were just another game of thugs, to be honest. For now, I'm... I'm going to be staying here. I'm going to be giving a lot of this some thought. Because... there should be some sort of structure here when I'm gone. I've known her most of her life now. And she's a good person at heart. She just... She can be stubborn and aggressive sometimes. Like someone else I know.

Who has no delusions about that not being aimed at her, like... You know you're always welcome here, right? Even after I burnt off my tattoos and covered them with black? You're still the same person. And I'm not going to tell you how you should react to what you saw. It doesn't make me love you any less. Udo won't say anything, like at this point it just... no. But she will just like... grab him and squeeze him in like the... you know, the huggiest hug that has ever hugged. Yeah, he's gonna hug you back. Sweet. Then she will grab the bottle of Skull Splitter off his desk, take a giant swig of it, give him like a tiny little salute, and say, "I need to go shopping.

I have a housewarming party to attend." And he's gonna kind of cock an eyebrow. For who? Chad Zianne of Alice. And of course, you and the Paladins and... Julie... are invited. The smallest little smile is gonna creep across his face when you throw Julie's name in. He's gonna... He's gonna kind of clap his hand down on... on Una's shoulder. "I'm glad to see that you two are getting along. It's very sisterly of you." And he's doing it in a very teasing manner. Like, it's almost... it's been his blatant sarcasm. Una will just glare at him and then grab the bottle of Skull Splitter and just take it with her. [laughs] "Do me a favor, Una.

Roll an Endurance check, negative three." It's gonna be that. That's gonna be... By two. Endurance one. Holy shit, really? Plus one. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant like, I rolled a one. No, Endurance plus one. Just imagine they're taking the shot and then just falling. That crit! Holy shit! That's a crit. Are you a crit? Fuck yeah! Yep. I'm an experienced drinker. So, Una's gonna... okay, Una isn't gonna get embarrassed... ...embarrassingly sloshed at this party and fucking make a fool of herself. So, she's gonna handle this really well, actually. Buzzed, but not falling down stupid.

Maybe a little emotional. I don't know what kind of drunk Una is. If the last time she got drunk on the show was any indication. Kinda gabby, kind of feelings talky. So, Una's going shopping. What specifically was she looking for? At some point... At some point in time passing and Merrick setting this up... ...Valus would want to pull Una aside and talk to her for a minute. Yes, she will allow that. She will allow that. I'll allow it! I have something I'd like to do and... ...I need your help. She'll just nod like, "Yeah, go ahead." I'd... And he's kind of like rubbing his hands together, just very, very nervous.

Before we set off to do what we need to do... ...I would... ...actually like to... ...marry... ...Jatzia. And, like, at the word "marry", his voice lowers, like you can, like he's... ...almost whispering it. So Una's not gonna look surprised at all. But she'll just grin like, "Oh, fuck yeah, Shvig." "You do realize..." "...this means you have to wear a suit?" And he's gonna kind of cringe at that? "Is that mandatory?" It is for this wedding, yeah. "These are the nicest clothes I own." "You're gonna have to go... ...shopping." And she's obviously playing that up, like... ...because she knows he hates it.

And he's gonna kind of let loose that noise, that annoyed just... ...just that? Alright. Do you think that we could surprise her with this? That will surprise Una. He's gonna pause... ...after he says it. Do you think she'd say yes? No. I... I was just gonna like really play it up, like just ham it up, like now, you know? We were on a walk yesterday and she told me that she's leaving you for Merrick. They just, they've had a really passionate romance going on. "That's not funny." I thought it was pretty funny. "It wasn't." Yeah, it kind of was. But she'll say yeah, don't fucking worry about that.

She'll say yes. There is no possible conceivable alternative reality where that does not happen. Well, if you could just... ...get her a dress and... ...what else would she need? Like he has no clue what goes into an actual wedding ceremony. Merrick, talk to Merrick, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to set up chairs, a bower, whatnot. You're gonna need a ring. You're gonna need a suit. And I think Kaluna could create possibly the most beautiful bouquet a bride's ever had. Things have smoothed over between Kaluna and Merrick and Valus, but... ...he's still a little hesitant about asking them for favors.

Like it's still... You know, one of them he's threatened several times and the other one he stabbed repeatedly. So it's kind of... It's like yeah, okay, like he... [Sigh] All right. Not that I think he has to get a suit and all that. It's not... ...not great times. I'll go talk to them. Before he leaves, he's just gonna like... ...just hug the shit out of him. It's like, eeee! Like actually squeal a little bit with excitement. She's very happy. That catches him off guard. And he's gonna kind of take like... he's gonna wrap one of his arms around her after. It's like, all right.

That's... it's... ...weird, but like yeah, okay, awesome. Yeah, this is this is pretty exciting. And he's going to... he's gonna talk to... he's gonna talk to Kaluna about the flowers and talk to Merrick about setting everything up. So the rest of this time, what would everyone be doing? Is there anything anybody wants to do before we get to the actual event? Kaluna needs someone to stab them. Huh. Seriously? Yeah, they have a little vase that they set aside whenever they bought all the flowers. It's got some lavender in it. And they're going to... they're going to wander around with a few sprigs of it and they're going to look for someone to stab them.

Considering you're talking to Valus anyway. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, okay. So you're going to pitch this to him? I imagine the conversation would go, "Hey!" Ha ha, pitch. Sorry, continue. I imagine the conversation would go, "Hey, I need you to do flower stuff for me." And then Kaluna would be like, "Aw, shit!" And then they'd be like, "Wait. Before we do that, we need you to do us a favor." And then they sort of pull out their dagger and they say, "We need you to stab us again." And sort of indicate a spot. And then hold out the dagger. Okay, his... okay.

He's just kind of standing there, looking at the dagger and looking at you. Why? Kaluna is going to... I don't know where they would be. But Kaluna would go wherever and grab the lavender, come back, and sort of hold it up like, "This! This is why!" "You need me to stab you for flowers." Kaluna's going to look at him like he's the dumbest idiot who ever lived. And they're going to sort of indicate their other flowers that they have on them. Like, "Come on, man." And isn't that going to hurt? Well, yeah. And you know this going in? Yeah. And I'm just stabbing you once.

Well, they're going to sort of compare the diameters of the flowers with the dagger and kind of go, "Ahh." Maybe twice? Does everyone else know about this in advance or are they going to think that I'm just attacking you? Kaluna's face is going to kind of fall like, "Oh, shit. Did not think about that." And then they'll just sort of yell out, "Hey! Valus is going to stab me, but he has permission!" Or, "Stab us." My bad. Okay, Valus is going to grab the dagger and then just kind of, like, looking around like, "Okay, you all heard her." "Them. Sorry, you all heard them." And he is going to stab Kaluna a couple of times.

And after each plunge, the blade's going to be in Kaluna and then just look up and say, "Huh? Is this okay?" And then pull the blade back again and then stab a second time. "Huh?" Again. And he is very uncomfortable with this. Usually stabbing someone is an involuntary exercise. Kaluna is just going to sort of ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow the entire time. Sort of like whenever you get a tooth pulled or something. And then they're going to sort of just, once he's done, they're going to just shove the flowers into the wound. Sort of like trying to leave them alone, maybe arranging them a little bit, but clearly like, "Ow!

Fuck! Ow!" And then they'll sort of patch themselves up as best as they can. And then they'll beam up at Valus like, "Thanks!" Valus is going to hand the blade back to Kaluna. "You are exceedingly strange." Kaluna's just going to give him a big ol' grin. "You are too!" And then they're going to leave. Okay, is there anything anybody wants to do before this event? I want to give them a present. Okay. What are you, uh, what are you, what are you after? I want to get them locket. I want to get one for Valus. That looks kind of manly, so he doesn't feel, you know, infringed upon.

I want to have a picture, or painting, small painting I guess. People did that back in the day. Of Jadzia, and I want to get Jadzia one that has Valus. That's super fucking sweet. It's going to be gross. I want a little tiny pocket, a little vial of my vomit. Okay. On each of the knives. So they'll always remember you. That's good. They'll remember how I feel about their love. That's tied to the locket. Okay, so we can just, we can just have that. Yeah, I don't need to go with permission. I just want to get it. Okay. I just want that on the record that I'm creating that.

Okay. Anybody else? Anything? Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I have one more thing that I want to do. It's not related to the wedding, and it's not related to getting all this stuff together. But I want to be able to do this while we're in Esterhold. Is that okay? Cool? Sure. I think I know where you're going. Okay, cool. So at some point during the week, whenever we're hanging out, whenever everything's happening, maybe when we're out shopping for some whatever, Merrick's going to take Kaluna, and he's going to head, what was the name of the tattoo artist? Elle Adamle.

Elle Adamle. So Merrick's going to drag Kaluna to, with him, to the tattoo parlor. Yeah, so he's going to go there, and he's going to get a tattoo. I don't know if I, I'll just tell you what it is. I mean, we don't have to role play the whole Elle thing, but basically he just wants to go there, and he wants to get, because she does the magic sort of moving tattoos, right? The moving tattoos, yeah. Okay, so I'm trying, this isn't just random. This is something he's been thinking about, but two things that he wants to do. First of all, he's, he wants to show and sort of do some sort of gesture to show that he's not going to ever be apart from Kaluna, and that Kaluna's part of him.

So he's going to get something, he's going to get like Kaluna tattooed on him in some way. But at the same time, he's also going to, because remember, he hasn't had any, really any friends at all until this group, until Jadzia and Una and Valus and everything like that. So he's just going to fucking do it, and he's going to get, he's going to get a tattoo across, gosh, did he do it across his back? Probably across his back. This is stupid. But he's going to get absolutely across his back. He's going to get, he's going to actually get images of his friends tattooed on his back.

And I'm thinking of it in the same way that we have like the group family photo on the shop. Right, so everybody's standing together. So this is actually, he's going to have, of course, Jadzia and Kaluna and Una, he's going to have Valus, and he's also going to try to describe, I mean, all of this is description, right? So I don't know how good it'll be. I don't know how they can, it can be just right, but. Well, okay, at least pretty damn talented. And you guys are fixtures in town at this point. You've been seen around. Una has had work there in the shop.

So this would look pretty spot on. Okay, great. And really there's not much sort of motion to it other than just everybody feels, kind of like the Harry Potter thing, right? Where you're looking at an image or a photo and it's moving around. So creepy. It's kind of creepy. Someone is absolutely terrifying. Okay, so day before the party? Yeah, we can do that. Is everyone ready to fast forward to that point? Sure. Yep. This is the save game thing. This is like, are you sure you'd like to progress? Okay, so day before the party. I like to imagine the whole week that this is going on, that Jadzia is just like, why are we still here?

What's going on? Why is no one looking at me in the eye? What the fuck? Day before the party, Una will like kind of flounce upstairs. And find Jadzia. I'm assuming she's upstairs. I don't know why I assume that. But yeah, wherever she is, she'll find her. She's probably in the fucking library. So she just like, poke her head around the door with like uncharacteristic femininity. Just like, "Hey." "Hey." She's slightly suspicious, but she trusts Una. She's like, "Yeah, what's up?" "You want to go shopping for a dress for the party?" Jadzia will immediately close whatever book she was reading and be like, "Hell yeah!" Una's gonna look like super excited because she's so excited.

Be like, "You should get the frilly one." "Do you have it in white? I think you just look really good in white. Like your skin and your hair and your eyes." Just see if she can like, get her into a white dress somehow. The whole time Jadzia is trying to get Una into more dresses because the only dress she's ever seen you in is the black one. So she's like, "How about this pink one?" So Una will be like, "Okay, okay. You pick out my dress and I pick out your dress and we have to wear it." Oh hell yeah. We're so getting character art done of all of this.

I want to go find a picture of the most tackiest pink dress I can find that's just you and put Una in. Tong, draw this. Oh fuck. So Una's gonna pick out a dress for Jadzia. Super frilly, white, lots of lace, covers most of like, you know, so high neckline and long sleeves. Because she knows that's Jadzia's sort of thing. But with like, little, like, kind of like eyelets, you know? It's very pretty. And Jadzia will get Una like a- like she teases her about getting her all these ugly dresses and then she picks out like kind of a slinky pink pale dress with a bow on it because she's like, "Haha, you're in a bow." But it's more Una's style.

Just not her color and a bow. Thank you. And she ties a bow in Una's hair. Into the mohawk? She flat- like the mohawk is long, right? It's like a shaggy mohawk. Yeah. So she kind of pulls it back into like a little ponytail with a bow on it. Good God. She's like, "I regret everything." Una will also purchase a veil without Jadzia's knowledge and just keep that with her until the last minute. With the asshole in me wants you to roll a bluff and/or stealth check for any of this, but I'm just not gonna. Thank you. Okay. So... the event. So I would imagine that this is- that, you know, people are getting together and they're- they're...

You know, everyone- so do the guests know that this is a thing that's happening? Like, everyone basically knows except Jadzia, right? Yeah, I feel like we probably circulate the information. So like, it's not on the invites, but like everyone kind of knows. But at some point in the party, everyone's gonna be like, "Hey, come to the garden!" Yeah. So the garden's been prepped for this. Like, this has been un-grimified. It is the grittiest garden there has ever been. There just happens to be a dragon in the background. I was gonna ask, is Avara like behind the arc?

Like she's part of the operation? Yeah. Like just in the background, just kind of chilling. Can we get Craig to walk her down the aisle? Would she want that? Who would she want for that? Oh, that's really sad. Oh, there's still one- oh, now I'm reminded of... 'Cause I immediately was like, "Well, who's Jadzia's father?" "Oh, they're both dead." Well, I guess Craig. Okay, just like, Una would do it, but it's traditionally kind of a father thing, you know? I was almost gonna say like, maybe Una, but that'd be kind of weird. Una would do it. I wish Tessie were here.

Aw, that'd be cute as fuck. Oh, Tessie missed! Yeah, she's not gonna be happy about this. Oh well. 'Cause it's not like her other son is getting married anytime soon. Could we not have like, sent Amara and then brought her back? Not at all stealthy. Hey guys, where'd our dragon go? I feel like if Tessie showed up, like, anywhere but like, unless it was like right the second she just drops down out of the sky, like, "Hey, I'm here to walk you down the aisle." You know, like, pretty big or "Jadzia's gonna be like, 'Why the fuck is she here?'" Like... Yeah.

I wanted to visit. Okay, Craig or Una, you get to choose. Una. Okay. I would imagine Jadzia's getting changed and getting ready here, and coming downstairs... I would imagine Una would be there to greet her, but all the guests would be outside. Yeah. So you'd hear music and you'd hear, you know, like, people kind of chatting with them, uh, with each other and murmuring and stuff. Yeah. But no one's inside right now. Yeah, Una would just be waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her, like... With her arm kind of stuck out, like, "Hey!" Like, you know, like, "Take my arm!" Why?

Uh... God, this is gonna be so mushy. Oh, God, sorry. Go ahead. I'm dying a little bit. Um, I guess when Jadzia's ready, she'll just kind of run down the stairs, 'cause she doesn't suspect anything. She's actually maybe even a little bit vaguely annoyed, because she hasn't seen Valis for a while, and she's like, "Is he not getting ready? Is he not gonna be here?" Like, she thinks that maybe he's skipped out on the whole thing, 'cause he doesn't like parties. So as she's going down the stairs, she's gonna look at Una and be like, "Have you seen Valis anywhere?

I haven't seen him." Yeah, he's right outside. Let's go. Oh, okay. And then she'll just... So she will take her arm and lead her out into the garden. I'm not sure exactly how the setup is, but I just kind of imagine, like, rounding the corner. Yeah, this would be doors open, kind of round the corner type of thing. It's not directly outside the doors, 'cause that would be a dead giveaway. Yeah, no. Yeah. Jadzia, do me a favor, roll a Perception check. She has no fucking idea what's going on. It's kind of an interesting setup, guys. Oh no, my Perception's terrible.

Traditionally not. Fourteen! What's up with the list? She gets the gist, right? Is she reading a book? She's drunk already. And reading a book. I have some things to say to you people. So, Jadzia's gonna round the corner. And there will be an Archway setup. The entire garden is decorated in flowers. The music is going to stop. And there are chairs lined up with guests. Some of the guests are from around town, like some of these people have interacted with you guys. And this is... Some of these people you've actually saved their lives, like without knowing or whatever.

There are some people that you've just positively affected. And Craig's kind of gathered a few people. There are going to be paladins in full regalia, like full armor polished to the hilt. Lining the carpet leading up to the Archway. Standing at full attention. And the rest of the guests are going to turn and look at Jadzia. Valis is going to be standing in a suit looking awkward. At the end of this. Standing right next to the Archway. And Merrick is going to be standing at the head of all this. I would say that Jadzia immediately gets the gist. As soon as Jadzia turns the corner, she doesn't quite get it at first, but she's looking around.

And then when she focuses on Valis, her mouth is going to fall open for like half a second. And then she's going to compose herself. And the arm that's holding Una's gets a little bit tighter. And she just meets Valis's eyes with big wide eyes. And she's just waiting for him to signal to her that she's right in what she's thinking before she continues. Una will turn to Kaluna and hold her hand out for the bouquet. Kaluna will delightedly hand it over there, physically just bouncing, they're so excited. She will hand it to Jadzia. And then she will fix the veil in Jadzia's hair.

Jadzia's going to smile, but she's physically shaking because she's so overwhelmed with all of the emotion. And I'm trying to think of how she would actually legitimately react. I think she would literally be stunned in the silence at this moment. So she's just going to let you do all of that. And she's just squeezing her hand really tightly. But she looks happy, she's just stunned. Right before they position them at the end of the aisle and they look at the musicians like, "Hey, come on, get your shit together." Yeah, they're going to snap to and start playing.

And she'll just lean down Jadzia and be like, "Come on, get your shit together, you going to be okay? You're going to have to speak up there." She is going to laugh and wrap her arms around Una again in just like big, big hugs. Adorable. Like if she could, she'd lift Una up and spin her around, but there's no way that's happening. Like she almost fries. Damn. Alrighty. Una will walk her down the aisle. The entire time they're walking down the aisle, she's just looking at Phallus. When Jadzia gets to the end of the aisle here, she could see how absolutely uncomfortable all this Phallus is, and he's going to lean in and kind of whisper to her, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." She is going to shake her head and say, "This is all I've ever wanted." Phallus is going to smile.

Then take a deep breath and look at Merrick. Okay. You want me to do this? I guess so, yeah. Okay, so Merrick is super calm and super happy, and he's just going to grin at Phallus, and he's going to smile warmly also at Jadzia. And okay, let's see if I can do this. Believe it or not, I'm not actually a priest or someone who can actually do this in real life, so I'm going to try to figure it out as I go. So here's what Merrick's going to do. So he's going to be speaking loud enough so that everybody can hear him, of course. Today we're gathered in Esterholt to celebrate two of the strongest and most valuable people that I've ever known, true friends.

We're here because of a lot of different things. We're here because of loyalty, and he's looking at both of them. It's about them. It's not about the paladins or anything else. We're here because of loyalty. We're here because of understanding and communication and connection and friendship, and we're here because of trust. Jadzia, I know that you're scared of me for a lot of reasons that we don't need to go into now, but I know that at the same time that you're truly my friend. And Valis, I've never trusted someone more to do what needed to be done than you, and your loyalty to Jadzia is beyond compare.

We're also here to take a very, very dark place, and he's going to sort of gesture back to the mansion. He's going to say a dark place of misery and fear and make it anew, to make it light and to make it a place of love and safety. And he's going to look at Jadzia. Yeah, so before they get into the vows, Meric's going to motion to Kaluna and sort of come here, kind of give them a gesture. And they will spring forward, not sure what they're doing. The rings, we need the rings, please. Oh, yeah, okay. And they're going to sort of look through their pockets like, "Where the fuck did we put them?" And they'll bring them out.

Okay. Meric will take the rings and then give them to each other, right? So, Valus is to Jadzia and Jadzia is to Valus, and then he's going to ask Valus to say, "What have you promised Jadzia? What are you promising her today?" And again, he's going to let loose like a sigh and turn to Jadzia and kind of scoop up her hands. Before I met you, I never thought I could actually care for someone as much as I do. I look at you and I see total acceptance for who I am. And up until I got to know you, I didn't think that was possible. I promise to do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to you and to try and live up.

And you can see he's starting to get a little choked up. And to try and be worthy of that acceptance. And he's going to put the ring on Jadzia's finger. And Jadzia, what are you promising Valus today? Jadzia is immediately tearing up as she listens to what Valus has to say. And then when it's her turn, she looks a little bit shocked, but she composes herself as quickly as she can. You once told me to wear my scars with pride. To not hide them. You taught me not to be afraid. And I'm not afraid anymore. And as she says that, very quickly she's going to glance over to Maric and then she's going to look back over to Valus like that was a little bit for him.

I'm not ashamed of my scars. I don't regret them. I couldn't regret anything that led me to this moment. I swear to you, I will love you for the rest of my life and whatever comes after. I will stand by your side in this world and the next. All that I have is yours, especially my heart. I love you. And then she's going to slip the gigantic fucking ring onto his finger. So, okay. So Maric's going to look at Valus and say, "Valus, do you accept Jadzia to be your partner in life in every way?" I do. And Jadzia, do you accept Valus to be your partner in life in every way?

I do. Then, though you've kissed a thousand times, I'm sure, today the kiss is different. It's a promise between the two of you. And then Maric's going to sort of look at Jadzia and sort of nod his head over like, "Go on." Valus is going to lean in and very tenderly kiss Jadzia. And as that happens, Maric's going to just very loudly, "Jadzia and Valus." And then he sort of grabs their shoulders and sort of pushes them so that they have to face everyone else. And everybody, you know, it's sort of to encourage everybody to just applaud. So he doesn't pronounce them husband and wife.

It's just, I don't really mean he can pronounce anything like that. It's just, here they are. This may have been a thing, and no one's quite sure, but this may have been a thing that Maric set up in advance. But as soon as he does that, Amara is going to spread her wings in the background. Just sort of, so, if you picture this, it's the archway and then Maric and then Jadzia and Valus standing side by side facing the crowd. And then a big fucking dragon behind the whole thing. She spreads her fucking wings. And then after a couple of seconds, she's going to take off into the sky.

So, huge gust of wind. Everyone there is just going to kind of lose their shit, just like clap celebration. Like, this is a big deal. Not a ton of wedding ceremonies. Again, for adventurers or people in general, like on this scale. We'll throw rose petals in the air. Maric's going to start pouring whatever sort of alcohol there is for her and just handing it out. Jadzia, you're supposed to throw the bouquet. I was like, does that happen right after or? Okay, so Jadzia will throw the bouquet and like she's not supposed to look behind her, right? That's how it works.

So she's going to throw it behind her and then she's going to wrap her arms around Valus and like lift herself up because he's super tall and kiss him again. Can Kaluna try to catch the flowers? I was going to say, do me a favor. Why did you throw those? She's like, God damn it, why would you throw those? I have a list of people on this side. Do me a favor, Jadzia, roll a flat D6. I kind of want it to be Julie. That would be funny. Okay. Five. That's going to be Una. Oh snap. Una and Julie were five and six. Oh man. Looks like we're going to have to meet up with Brie and...

Una will catch it. That's actually kind of perfect. She'll catch it and then immediately drop it like ew. Yeah, she'll catch it like, oh my God, yay. Look at it and then just like, huh, and then shove it to the next paladin and next door. Just like, here, just, uh. Kaluna scrambles over and takes them back like, what the fuck are you people doing to these poor flowers? So minutes, minutes are going to go by and this is, this is a, this is an awesome celebration and everyone's hanging out. Do me a favor, everyone. Roll a perception check. Darmox fucking corpse floats out of the ground beneath your feet. 33.

Hey guys, I know this will shock everyone, but mine wasn't very good. You're caught up in a big moment. Jesus Christ, that was roll a two as well. It truly are a couple. They are the least perceptive couple. I love that it's a two though. Cause there's two of them. Uh, we're going to make great parents. Where are the kids? I don't know. Where'd that knife go? We have kids. Let's see here. Yeah, Merrick, Kaluna and Una are in the midst of the celebration. There's a lot of noise and partying and music and stuff like that. In the distance, they're going to hear what sounds like an explosion.

Oh, good. Um, okay. Can we tell what direction it came from? Yeah. Any other details in any way? It sounds like it came from outside of town. If you had to put a distance on it, it sounds pretty much where Strahd parked himself while he was taking the ballista bolts out of his wings and chucking them into the city. Like somewhere in that general vicinity. Like it's outside of town. It did sound like a large scale explosion though. Time to suit up. Nobody's fucking with this wedding. Una's going to rip the poe out of her hair, grab her hammer and start sprinting.

Still in the pink dress. Hells yeah. Awesome. Um, yeah. Okay. What about Kaluna and Merrick? Merrick's gonna, I'm sure they're probably next to each other anyway. He's gonna grab Kaluna's arm and look at him like, "You heard that, right?" Kaluna is gonna just sort of give him a nod and they're gonna sprint after Una and they're gonna have to pick up their shit along the way because they didn't bring it with them. They thought it was a party where nothing bad was going to happen. What a stupid idiot Kaluna is. Yeah, Kaluna, you made bad decisions. Yeah. But you know, they're dressed up.

They don't have anywhere to keep anything, man. I'd like to think that even Valus and Jadzia still have weapons tucked away in their nice clothes somewhere. The thing is, the way Kaluna's stuff works is like they keep one in a pouch and the other one is on like a special harness. So it's not like they can, like, that doesn't work with fancy clothes. Valus has the Kettenhund. Like I don't think that's gonna like tie sensibly to slacks. I honestly think that Marek's most fanciest thing he could possibly wear would have been his armor, like super shined up as he was doing the ceremony.

Anyway, so yeah, he would grab whatever he had with him and he would sprint after Kaluna and Una. It's gonna take a while to get to a vantage point where you can see something, but eventually you're gonna reach the outskirts of the city and the houses are gonna start to thin out and I'm going to ask the three of you to roll perception one more time. Uh, 20. 20 for me. Shit, okay. But I get... More than 20. The three of you are gonna notice that even though it sounded like an explosion, you don't see any collateral damage. You don't see anything wrong in the city.

You don't see any crater. You don't see anything wrong. You don't see any destruction. Now I would imagine you're looking to the sky, you're looking around because it could be anything. It's frantic. I mean we've had dragons, we've had darmonk, we've had... Esterhold's not an easy place, so... It's like please don't have there be something bad tonight. And honestly, honestly, I think one of the first things Theomeric said would be "What did Seraph do?" Like what's going on? What you will see is this cavalcade of people marching toward Esterhold fairly quickly.

It looks like they're moving at a decent clip. And it's a weird grouping of people in terms of... They don't look like soldiers. They don't look like they're a unit of any kind. And you're gonna notice that there's a halfling in the group and a goliath and... It's a very robust grouping of people. One of them looks like they're... If you had to describe it to someone else, it looks like they've been crushed. Their armor is so fractured and destroyed that it looks like it's just wrapped around... It looks like they're wrapped around their skin. Una is gonna notice a bit more detail.

This looks like a party of adventurers and they are indeed moving toward Esterhold and leading the charge would be Bree and Poe. And I think that's a pretty good time for us to stop for the night. Shit. Awesome! We did it guys. After three hours we missed you. Oh my god. Yeah, I had no idea honestly. I thought this was literally gonna be like, "Okay, everyone get in line. Good? Alright, bye." That's it. That's exactly what I thought it was. I wasn't prepared for any of this. I was not prepared for emotions and... Definitely not that. I can't. I have to draw everyone in fancy clothes now?

Yeah! Oh my god. I will pay for that picture from the top. I don't give a fuck. Especially Una running with her fucking weapon of cord in her pink dress with a bow on it. Was the ceremony... I blacked out during most of it. Was the ceremony enough for you Bree? You did great. That was gorgeous. You were amazing. That was just the right amount of pomp and circumstance and it felt like we planned it. Yeah, no one's gonna believe that wasn't planned. Seriously. We're just really fucking good is what I'm saying. We're just the most talented people in the world. Duh.

That was fun. We're just really, really good at this. I'm... Dude, if anyone dies in that crossover tomorrow... Don't shut up! Just stop. I'm sorry! How are you not thinking about that? Of course, I'm constantly thinking about that. I'm constantly thinking about it when we're not doing a crossover. I'm legitimately trying not to think about that. I would legitimately cry. I will fly to California and I will fight you, Jason. I will leap on your back and claw your eyes out like we talked about earlier. Like a little backpack of anger. Exactly. A little angry backpack.

Oh my gosh, I'm not over it. I can't. One other thing that's really weird is right before this I was looking up flowers for CJ and my next wedding. I was like, "Oh, I wonder if cherry blossoms are in season, because that's really what I want." And then we get into a thing and it's like, "By the way, you wanna get, like, fake married in this game?" How weird is that? Like, that whole thing. Like, did you feel massively uncomfortable at one point? Because I did. I was unusually massively uncomfortable. Just the fact that it was sprung. Like, it's like, "Okay, do you remember when we were getting ready for the Jadzia Soul thing?" It's like, "We could lose her tonight." We had time to kind of, like, "I didn't have any time for this." It's just like, "Oh, God." That's why it's weird.

It's happening. Okay, I guess this is happening. He's so genuine. Everyone's just, "Uhhhh." It's too bad the archway, the wedding arch, isn't one of the gates. Or they just came out of that. Because that would have been awesome. That would have been beautiful. We still gotta do a crossover tomorrow. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, God. I'm gonna die. Dude, we even have a special babysitter coming over in the afternoon. Dude? Yeah. Wow. You pulled out all the stuff, please. Seriously. So, everybody, thank Ana. Thanks. Thank you, Ana. Thank you, Ana. Oh, my God. She can't even hear you.

Jesus. Yeah, but those sentinies are there. Louder, guys. That's what he's saying. She can't hear you. You're louder. My head blows up. It acts like a speaker. Wow. Okay. Tomorrow's gonna be so much fun. I know. I really am excited. And I'm really totally happy if somebody dies. Because it's gonna be... No. No, no, no. Just listen to me. I'm not expecting or wanting it to happen, but if it did, it's so perfect. It's so perfect. I hate you both. I think people with Jason for a first name are just bad people now. Well, Group 2 also had this kind of heartfelt... Like, their last couple of episodes also, like, going into the crossover, it's like, this could end badly.

Like, everyone's just kind of... I don't want to say at peace with it, but like, they just... I don't know. They sort of lined up their affairs and everything. I don't know. It's gonna be messed up. All I'm hoping for is no PVP. That's all I want. Um, I don't think Dagon's gonna go for that. I know. Kaluna and Dagon are gonna face off and it's gonna be... Mmm. It's gonna be bad. For everyone. I don't know. I'm scared. Judziel won't be picking any fights. I know that. Merrick probably won't. He will pick fights with Merrick if they find out he's a werewolf, so shh.

Well, that's not a good thing for Group 2 to find out. Shh. Everyone just shh. Yeah, but they're gonna ask, like, "Well, what business... Why do you want to go to the swamp?" Like, that's gonna be... No reason. He needs a heart. Right. He's obsessed with termites. Yeah. Not sure how to get rid of them without pumping Kaluna full of poison, so maybe the witch knows. Turn to blood magic. He needs a heart, this one needs a brain. Let's just fucking go. Yeah. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna let you guys go and, um... Okay. Bye. I'm gonna let you guys go. Bye, guys. See you later.

Yep, I'm excited. I'm so excited for tomorrow now. I'm hyped. Bye. Bye. If you guys enjoy what you just heard here and you'd like to hear more stuff, behind-the-scenes stuff, character journals, bloopers, living in Theria, all kinds of different stuff, then consider going to patreon.com/dandr and helping to support us and what we do here. We are still trying to raise money for DragonCon. That's a pretty expensive affair. September's gonna be a pretty big month for us, so we are trying to pack the Patreon with as much as we can to make sure that you aren't just donating and getting nothing back for that.

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