Moving On

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[clattering] [clattering] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+.

This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Today's episode of DNR is brought to you by our lovely sponsors. First of all, Geek Fuel. We have already talked to you about what Geek Fuel has given to us this month. Let me tell you a little bit more about these t-shirts.

So far I've gotten two t-shirts. One with my lovely Harley Quinn on it, and one with a really sweet-ass Deadpool. And I have to say, I have worn these shirts around my house, to the mall, sleeping, and I have worn them to the gym. They are super comfy. I was shocked at the quality of these t-shirts. Geek Fuel does not skimp on those. So, if you would like to receive a monthly gift basket with all of your favorite goodness inside, go to geekfuel.com/dnr. That is www.geekfuel.com/danddr. Another one of our sponsors is nobleknight.com. I am going to tell you guys about one thing I own, and one thing I want to own.

First of all, Arkham Horror. Arkham Horror is my favorite tabletop game after DNR. If you like Lovecraftian nonsense, this is for you. Only $24.95. Usually this market's at $50. Something I want to own. 1996 issue of Polyhedron Magazine. The issue is called "Why Horror Isn't Fantasy". I remember reading these when I was a kid. When I was a little itty bitty Brianna, I read Polyhedron Magazine. That is only $4. So, you can find old issues of pretty much any magazine you can think of. So, hop on to nobleknight.com, give them a look, see if they have anything that you remember from when you were a kid, or something that you think is awesome now.

Finally, we would like to thank a lovely author by the name of David Temerick. He has written a story called "The Daughter of Vengeance". Full disclosure, I have not read this book yet, but I will as soon as I get my copy at DragonCon. So, I'm just going to read you guys the summary. A young lady is thrust into a world of espionage, betrayal, and murder against her will. A survivor at heart, she befriends a master assassin who takes Michelle as her apprentice. After years of training and careful planning, she begins her life as one of the king's many spies and returns to a world much more prepared for the trials that await her.

Unknown to her and her masters, a plot has slowly been unraveling which will not only destroy the fragile peace of the kingdom of ruin, but could descend the world into chaos and war. This book is available on Amazon right now, so head down there, look up "Daughter of Vengeance" and look for David Temerick. I don't think you guys will regret it. So, with that in mind, let's move on to the show. Let's do that thing where we get ready and go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table, starting with Dan.

Hi, my name is Dan, I play Duncan "Joy" Batam, Dwarven Bard. And Rob. Hey, I'm Robert Weezahan, I play Malchus Grimnast, Tiefling Warlock. And Tom. Hey, I'm Tom, and Edward, I guess. And Deltmar. I'm that guy down the street. No, I'm a lion. Hi. Roar. And Kelsey. Hey, I'm Kelsey, and I play Diana, the Tiefling Mage. It's been 84 years. Let's not exaggerate. It's actually 94, so Kelsey, get it right. I got used to being a widower about 5 years into it, it's okay. I miss her every day, but you know, it gets easier. So guys, last time you guys sat down, you got robbed by some drow.

Long story short, they told you that there's sort of an offer waiting for you in Fairbay, if you would be so kind as to meet up with them at your earliest convenience. Most of the crew seemed to balk at that. Robbed is a harsh term. And we have no obligation to go to these people after they robbed us. We can talk about that in a moment. They put the guns on us and said, "Back the fuck up, this is our shit." It's the perfect term, "rob is the term." Your goods were forcefully procured by other people. Let's just put it like that. They were borrowed? Permanently.

Drowapologist here just keeps forgiving us. Stop saying "drow," oh my god. I miss young drow. If I can get used to Tiefling, I can get used to drow. It's totally cool. I'm a minus horse. Thank you for the young drow reference, by the way. It's the only one I'll get anywhere ever. So guys, at the end of the last session, Malchus and Sassoon kind of split off in the rest of the party. They kind of charged off into the woods just a bit, maybe to get some space. I would say so. Just, they were a little miffed. They were a little miffed at the way things turned out with the drow and how forgiving Duncan was of that.

So how about we pick things up right after they walk off? So it would be Diana, Theo, and Yenward. And Duncan's still in this little clearing, and Sassoon and Malchus are a little ways off. What would you guys like to do? Are they within eyesight? Can I see them? They're within shouting distance, probably. Not quite eyesight. They've wandered off down this trail here. Well, Duncan's still fairly miffed, upset. Kind of runs a little bit towards where they were going and stops himself. And I'm going to not yell, but he calls for them to see if they will respond or come back and just tells them.

He says, "Malchus! Sassoon! Come back! Just get back here! Just get back here! Let's talk about this!" Okay, that sounds like yelling. Well, I can yell much louder than that. Yep, don't do that. Malchus, Sassoon, do me a favor and roll a perception check. Malchus has a lot of waxy build-up. Never been good at perception checks. It's not his bad. He's never been good at Q-tips either. You get a good brood going on and you're just off in your own world at a certain point. Sassoon's going to hear Duncan in the back yelling. It'll just be audible, but yeah, he's going to pick it up.

Malchus, your friend, he is calling. I doubt it would be a good idea for him to continue shouting. So, I believe it would be in our best interest if we were to go back. Alright, let's see what he needs. And starts walking back. Okay. So, Malchus and Sassoon are going to rejoin the party here. Everyone now is present. What's the matter? We have work to do. We have to hurry. Look, there's no reason for you to go in those woods. There's no reason for any of you guys to go in those woods. I don't understand. We are here for you, Duncan. Tall stack of bounties, but mostly you.

We keep saying that. We keep saying that we're all here for each other and we're all doing this, but... My personal quest that I'm doing right now is distracting me from other things. I could have handled the drow thing better. I could have handled you guys better. I didn't have to go crazy and because of that, I think I'm a detriment to this party. Duncan, don't. No. What's a detriment? Draconis. That's like Draconis. You're not like Draconis. I'm not saying I'm going to leave the party. I'm not saying I'm gone. I don't want to leave you. Yinward, I can never imagine just off and leaving, but I think this might be something that I have to take care of on my own.

So what, you should pull off into that bandit den? I'm not saying that I can defeat all of them by myself, but I've been thinking about this for a while and... My dad doesn't know who I am. He hasn't seen me since I was a little boy. None of them know who I am. If I could, I don't know, if I could go in and get a feel for it, see what's going on in there, then maybe at some point if I meet up with you guys again it'll be a lot easier to take them out, you know. We don't even know how many people are there. We don't know what we're fighting. We're going in blind so I can take care of two people that you don't even know, and we don't know what the danger is.

But there's a possibility that if I go in there, I at least could get an idea of what's there. And then you guys can take care of what you need to take care of, and you can, you know, I don't care about the drow. I don't care about that. If you guys want to go take care of that or do whatever, that's fine. And hopefully someday, as long as I survive. And if they're not just taking on new muscle there and they decide to gut you, what then? It's far too dangerous. How good am I at coming up with stuff, guys? How many people have I deceived? If they're not taking new members, I'll turn around and leave.

I mean, I don't know what else to say. I think I can do it, and I want to do it, and I want to prove to myself that I can do it. This isn't your fault. This isn't... And as soon as you don't even know, you have no attachment to me. And that's what that's... I mean, I'm sorry, you seem like a good person, but we're not friends. So the idea of you going in and risking your life for me, it just doesn't make sense. Duncan, we are not friends. This is correct. My life is my own, and what I choose to do with my life is my choice. The decision you are making now, it is your choice.

If you believe you, by yourself, can go into a den of thieves, liars, murderers, and cheats, and come out cleaner on the other end, then by all means, do what you think is right. Hey, Jason? Mm-hmm? Is anything... I imagine there's like a corpse left of the dragon? Oh yeah, oh yeah. There's like muscle structure and skeletal remains and everything like that. Just the scales are missing. Okay. So there would be stuff that would be recognizable as being part of a dragon? Oh God, yeah. It's still a huge winged beast. It's just... I mean, is there something... I guess what I'm asking is, maybe there's something I could take that would be like, "I killed a dragon." You know what I mean?

I mean, like, you can take... something you could carry? I mean, it's not like you could take the head, but I mean, like you could... Right. But something that would be recognizable as being part of a dragon. Yeah, I mean, you can cut off part of one of its, like, toes or something like that. So I'll go over and I'll do that. Oh, you know what, while I'm there, I'll kind of find a bloody spot on it. That's everywhere. The scales are gone. And I will take the blood on my hand and just wipe it across my face. Then I take the knife and I pull my beard down and I cut from the braids up.

So, like, the braids are cut off out of my beard now. And I walk over to Malkus. And is there is there something around that would be like a rock or a tree or something that's like identifiable? Like, so you get someone if you gave someone the general area, you could say like, "Oh, go to the rock or the tree." And they'll know where that is. Well, the dragon. Yeah, but that's not going to be there forever, is it? No, but I mean, it's like, I mean, it's going to be there for a while. I mean, like, even if the skeleton will be there for a while, that's the most recognizable thing in the area.

OK, OK, that works. So I'll pull out all my money. My sack of money and I hand it to Malkus. Take it. Duncan, don't don't give this off to me. You're going to need some of this. You're doing this for me. Take it. You're being extremely irrational about this. You know that, right? OK, fine. Look, you're going to take this money. And every time you go somewhere, you're going to find the sleaziest person you can find. You're going to give him some of the money. You're going to tell him to leave a piece of paper by the tail of that dragon over there. It says where you are.

And that way I can at least connect the dots and get a general location of where you are at any time. So if I need you, I can find you. To take the money. Malkus takes it. After everything. I walk over to Diana. Diana, look, you're the only person that I'm going to say I'm sorry to. Because I don't feel like anybody here other than me supports you. And that's not an insult to them. I don't think they know you. I don't think they've seen you the way I have. But. I'll be back. I'm not. Look at me. And I take off my hat. Do I look like anything other than a dirty, disgusting dwarf who just killed the dragon?

She's going to close her eyes. You don't know what they'll ask of you to do. I'll do it. I've done worse. As part of this group, I've done worse. It's all for the better good. If I can get in there and understand what they're doing and have an idea. This is the problem. We always jump into things without knowing what we're getting into. And look what happens every time someone dies. We lose everything. It never works. The only time it's ever worked is when we've gone in with a plan. This is how we need to do this. And if I have to sacrifice myself to do it, then I'll do it.

It wouldn't be the first time. And if you guys need me, I'll probably come back again. And I kind of just give like a crooked smile to her. She's going to have a smile back. If it does come down to it, though, don't sacrifice yourself. It's. If I have a choice, I won't. I promise. Make it out of this alive. I'll see you again. Malchus is going to make sure that I know where you guys are. Right, Malchus? One way or another. Duncan goes up and hugs Diana. Kind of. I guess her legs because I'm not talking. She's she's she's not really used to hugging, but she's going to kind of like like like freeze up for a second at first and then kind of like.

Awkwardly, kind of hug you back because it's again height difference is a bit awkward. Just kind of. Yeah. And don't get it. Don't just looks up and says, stay strong and don't let anyone push you around. I know you won't. Still not. Duncan walks to his visit, sir. Duncan reaches in and he grabs every bounty except for two. Any hands up to parties ever in trouble and you guys need money. This is how you guys can make money. OK. He's going to hold out a hand to Duncan and then remembering bardic tradition, he'll change his handshake into a fist bump. Duncan does the fist bump because I'm dead serious.

When I say take care of them, I don't need the bounties. I mean, my friends take care of them. Understand. Good luck, Duncan. Now I walk to feel. And I kind of pull Theo further aside from the rest of the party. Is that OK? Sure. He's not going to fight you. He's kind of like that. All of this is kind of lost on him because he doesn't know any of you, really. But he doesn't. He definitely doesn't know Duncan any more than anybody else. So he's getting that there is gravity to the situation. It's just kind of lost on him. You. Yeah, you're you mean so much to me.

You're you're probably my second best friend in the world. You know that. And I don't want anyone to tell you that you're not good enough to be a part of this party. You are. But do everything you inward tells you to do. Everything. Everything. You have to promise me that because I'll be back and I'll know if you didn't because you'll be dead. OK. Are you saying he's going to kill me if I don't do everything he says? I'm saying if you don't do everything he says, you'll end up dead because you'll be doing the wrong thing. OK. Now. Yes, he's he's going to look like he was going to look over at you inward.

And then just look back at Duncan. OK. Well, sure. All right. I feel I know that he might seem like he's not the brightest minotaur. You realize he's a king, right? That's not a joke. He's a real king. Now I've seen the crown. Yes, he's he's the king of the minute. So you're in royalty when around him. So you need to treat him that way. And you expect him that way. OK. OK, just to be clear, you saying he's like he's the smartest minotaur. He's the smartest, the toughest, the strongest, the most handsome. He is the king. He defeated the last king and became king.

OK. I just I don't know. Many minutes or is the thing that's actually he might be a little naive, but he's not he's not dumb. He's very smart. And if anything happens to you or everything happens to him, I'm pretty much going to blame you for it. OK, that's that's a lot of pressure. I mean, I can. And I kind of just like put my finger out not to his left, right. Right from this. And I take off my hat and I put it on his head. You listen to everything he says and you protect him. You got me. Sure. Yeah. OK. OK. And he puts out his fist. You will bump it. Oh, hey, feel.

Can I see your sword real quick? All right. But OK, the last time I gave it to one of you guys, you threw it in the woods. I just want to make sure that that's not going to happen again. No, what was that happening? I just want to see it. I need to you saw how I cut my beard. I need I don't have anything to sharpen my sword on now, so I need to sharpen it real quick before I go in. I'm about to go into the woods by myself. OK, that seems like poor planning on your part. But, you know, so this wasn't exactly planned out ahead of time. Oh, OK. And he'll hand over the sword.

All your fault was happened to. OK, thank you for the sword. I'll bring it right back and we'll talk to you real quick and I'll bring it back to you. OK? OK. You can tell he's he's kind of like he's he's like, all right, that's a loner. Don't don't. Now Duncan goes up to you. You know, I'm going to be able to do this, right? Yeah, we're going to do fine, man. Put some dirt on my face. We're going to go in there and kick butt. No, no, no, no. You're you're going to go with them and I'm going to go in there and I'm going to be I'm going to be fine. Because if I went in there with you, I mean, I don't think I'd be able to blend in really well with a bunch of other dwarves if I have a minute.

Oh, OK. We'll be fine. Duncan reaches back and he grabs his guitar. I can't take this with me. I need to make sure it's OK for when I come out. Do you? I gave him my hat. I'm giving you my guitar. I just need you to take care of it for me. OK, don't sell it. Just take care of it. Can you do that? You really leave me? No, I'm not. I'm coming back. This is something I have to do and I don't want to hurt you guys, but I'll be back. And guess what? When I'm done, we're going to kill every fucking dwarf in those woods. We're going to kill every bandit in those woods. And then we're going to completely take everything that we can find.

We're going to ransack it. We're going to have so much shiny crap on us after we're done. We're going to free slaves and we're going to be heroes again. OK. Yeah. OK. But most importantly, inward, you're the leader now. It was always because I. Well, I was. But now you're. And don't let him tell you that your decisions aren't correct. Whatever you decide to do. You're smarter than they think you are. OK. Yeah. Because, hey, come here. They don't think you're very smart. Why? And it's I don't know, but they know. But you are. So don't let them tell you you're not. I do.

I know. And you read your read. I'll be back. I promise I'll be back. I'm not leaving forever. Do I look dirty enough now, though? Is there anything else I need to take care of or do I look like one of them? Yeah, we're just going to lean down. He's going to scoop up a bunch of dirt in his hand. He's going to rub it all over his face. Now, Duncan has like a tear going through the dirt and the blood on his face. Thanks for helping. I miss you, brother. I'll see you soon. OK, you better. You make sure Malkus sends my locations because I have a plan. But I don't I want to make sure I can do it before.

I throw it out there, but I promise I have a plan, OK? OK. And so right now, I'll put my fist up. See, Edward, you never pick them up and hug them. Yeah, that's what you get. And so I kind of wiggle my way down and I walk out in front of everyone. And I say, this is the most important part, OK? And that's why I'm telling everyone here. Oh, real quick, actually, I break back over to you. Hey, I forgot something. Take this. And I hand them Theo's sword. Yeah, we're like, put his arm back like he's going to throw it. Theo is staring intently. Edward slowly puts his arm down.

Just force it to happen. I'm sorry. Don't let him have it. OK. OK, now I back up in front of the group and I say, now, this is the most important thing. So I have to tell all of you at once. But if anybody asks you what happened to me and I don't care who it is. Tell them I'm dead. Practically true with this plan. Don't say that, everybody. What about we are or. It's it's very important that everyone thinks I'm dead. OK, I'm not going in there as Duncan. I got to come up with a whole new identity and a whole new. So there can't be a trace of it. Do you know what name you'll be using?

Just in case you use it. It's a great name. I use it all the time. I look over at Malchus, kind of like smart ass smile on my face. I don't know. How about blue? You're an asshole, you know that? Just know with no E just BLG. Whatever. Look, I don't know what magical happenstance dragged your carcass back from the great beyond the first time, but I wouldn't count on happening again. So be careful. All right. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Malcolm. Well, I do my best. I'll try to keep the chain of notes going. Lead you back to us and all you guys are worried about me dying.

But when I find you guys. All of you better be there. And with that. Duncan, please. This is going to work. It's going to put on the shoulder and then he's going to say, my father. This is what he said to me before I left. And I say it to you now with the best intentions in my heart. A play. I want to use them. I mean, sure. I once laughed at an enemy. I want slew. If I do, then I can say I have done one day. All things I have done will amount to something that something is truly nothing. Once you are gone from this plane of existence, what is left? What is the mark you have left on this rock of ages?

Are we truly born free? Wandered blindly to the life forced to repeat the mistakes of those who have come before us for a brief moment. You will be free. You will be free in the play you once mused. The minstrel you once laughed at. The enemy you once slew. The life you once lived. Live it and live it well. Duncan was looking down while he said that. He looks up at him and he puts out his hand. Not his fist, he puts out his hand. He's going to grab your hand. This is the most emotion he's probably showed, so he's going to fucking hug you. He's just going to hug you.

You are my friends. I'll see you again. And at that, he finishes his trek into Bandit's Rest. So now the group is Duncan-less and I think you guys need to kind of decide what you are going to do. Because the last decision made was to head into Bandit's Rest. Now there's really no need to do that. Unless you want to go in and just follow behind Duncan. Yeah, that seems uh... Change of plans! Yeah! We couldn't leave you behind buddy! We're coming to the rescue! You have options. Would you like me to run down options? Before you feed us anything, let's see what we get done in character.

Go right ahead. So, okay. Well, we can't just sit here in the middle of the woods. We need to re-evaluate where we are on things. What do we need to do? What do we have that we've been putting off? I know I for one have been wanting to get back to Winter Haven. Anybody have anything else? Duncan said that I'm in charge now and I have to do the drow thing? I'm sorry, what? Oh, I'm in charge. No, the other part. I was just going to dismiss that one. Oh, well I have a deal with Auraclad to overthrow the dwarves and they're going to pay us handsomely for our help.

But I also kind of want to go to Winter. Because this is new information to Sissun. He's going to look at Yanwood. You have some sort of arrangement with those filthy thieves. This is before they stole from us. And like, you gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet. I want a mountain, they want under a mountain. We can work together. Lady Diana, what is your take on this? The drow that Yanwood made a deal with was not among those who took the dragon. If that's what you're concerned with. And we're totally going to tattle on them when we get there. Again, so much trouble.

But they're from the same faction, right? They work together. Yeah. No deal. Ignoring it would not be wise, I don't think. They used the words "handsomely" and "paid". You know, it's just a little more money now. I'm going to look at Theo, who must call his name there for a second. Theo, you are now much a part of this group as any of the rest of us. So you two have a say. Do you have anything you need to do that requires our help? It would have been in Brightport, but I'm kinda done there, I think. What's the deal with the drow? Okay, long story short. The minotaurs used to live in the top of the mountain, and the drow lived under the mountain.

And then those stinky dwarfs came in and kicked us both out. So now the minotaur and the drow are going to link up and take it back. What's the deal in Winterhaven? We're kind of a big deal in Winterhaven. Some number of us... That place used to mean something. It still does, really. I have people that I need to reconvene with. Not sure how much they want to reconvene with me, but at some point I need to know. Jason, because I don't have a map, I probably should have one somewhere. But you probably should. I probably should have one somewhere. But I'm being unprofessional.

In terms of where we are located now, if hypothetically we were to go to Winterhaven, what's our trajectory from where we are now? From where you are right now, you are almost an equal distance away from four separate towns. Aldmore, Brightport, Whitehedge, and Lockford. Okay, what would be the optimal route to get to Winterhaven from where we are? What town would we go to next? That would be Lockford. If you're using the main road to get to Winterhaven. Because you would be taking the main road through Lockford, then all the way back through Dragon's Reach, Don Hurst, then through the Divide, then Durnhollow, then Albury, then Winterhaven.

Forget all of that. Forget all of that. Bunt that. What sort of option? The Drow people? What town are they in? Fairbay? Fairbay. Which means you'd be taking the main road from Whitehedge to Lockford to Fairbay. For fuck's sake! You don't have to go into Lockford. You don't have to go through. You could just go off-road. Yeah, but there's more dangers off-road. Yeah, but that's metagaming, dude. We'd totally stop. We would. Well... Can we go on the street? Why is there, like, no one's going on? Here's the thing, guys. Here's where there's a bit of a wrinkle. Right now it's the 17th of Amada.

Oh, we're in different times. Yep. 'Cause we haven't played anything. Time zones! Yep. Which means all of the stuff that you would hear about going on in Lockford? Hadn't happened yet. Hadn't happened yet. Cool. Shit. So let's go, guys! Marty! Marty! Okay. Vote. Guys, um... I mean, either way where we're going, we would have to go through. And there's no reason why we wouldn't go through, so we're going through. I'd like everybody to roll a streetwise. Okay. If it's known to be a dangerous area, though, wouldn't the town be something that would, like, draw us in? Like, "Oh, good.

Here's a place where we can, like, buckle down for a minute." Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna play this out in character. 'Cause I am not losing that to the elements. Everyone roll a streetwise. Okay. I nailed mine. I know everything. No, I know everything. I rolled a 9, don't I? I rolled a 17. Theo rolled a 6. I was living in the streets once we had a good time. You'd be a rule. [laughter] So, looking at your map, if you were to go to Winterhaven, you know that that's a long trek. It's clean across the continent, obviously. That's on the western side.

And that's gonna take a while. But you would pretty much either have to take the main road, which is the safest. Which would lead you through several towns and cities. Lockfort being the closest one, and then that would lead you to the main road, all the way through Dragon's Reach, Donhurst, you know, all that. Or, if you were to go to Fairbay, meet up with the drow, that would also pretty much lead you right to Lockfort, then to Fairbay. Right now you are on the cusp of the woods, the southern tip here, Bandit's Rest. So you are pretty much an equal distance from Aldmoor, Brightport, Whitehedge, Lockfort.

And you're a little ways away from the main road. You're pretty close to an area called the Moors. Now, streetwise, you would know that there has been... let me see, who would know? Yeah, Bird. With a snide. [laughter] Sissun and Malkus. Sissun and Malkus have heard murmurings of some trouble in Lockfort for quite a while now. Recently it's gotten worse. There's even tale of a few adventuring parties that have traveled through and went into the woods and have not come back. But, yeah, that's an area that's had werewolf activity, and that's been the case now for a while.

But Malkus and Sissun would know about it. One, every time you say "into the woods" I keep singing the song "Into the Woods" in my head. Two, I know some of us have magical weapons. Do any of us have silver weapons? That would be a no. Oh, fuck that. This is just... this is bleak. We could just rush through it. I think that's a... if you know that it's not good. Okay, Jason, would my streetwise... obviously, we know Lockfort has had some issues. Mhm. The area surrounding, instead of going straight through, like going around, would my streetwise give us any clue of what's in that general?

Oh, the glade. Yeah, that... you'd know with the streetwise that a lot of the area... that a lot of the danger comes from the silver glade. That's where a lot of that comes from. Why did these people build a town here? Funny story. Maybe it wasn't bad when they built it. It was not bad when they built it. Alright, see, there you go. They got fucked over. The fog, the werewolves, guys... Do you listen to the show? Just fucking leave. Everything was great till the werewolves moved in. There goes the neighborhood. I wouldn't want my daughter dating one. Dad, is this Howler?

Not in my house, it's not. Shotgun cocks. Did you get myself a bullet? So, let's... in character. Let's have you guys talk this out. Malkus has strong opinions, so it'll take a minute to hash this out. That's totally cool, I want that. And again, if you guys start to talk over each other, we'll just take a break and... Come back for us. Just like boxers, we'll go break you up. You guys ready? Yes, sir. Okay. Again, going over your options on the map, you are... Almost all roads lead you through Lockfort in terms of going to Fairbay or Winterhaven, but... You can go off the path.

If you went off the path to avoid Lockfort, you'd be traveling into the Wastes, which has its own dangers. Well, it's either that or you can go through the Silver Glade, which, why would you avoid Lockfort if you were heading into the Silver Glade to avoid Lockfort? That doesn't really make any sense. So, I hand things off to you with that... That is knowledge that both Malkus and Sassoon would have. Malkus looks to you inward and says... So you want to go and work with the drow to chase the dwarves out of the mountains so they can have the bottom part of it and you can have the top part with the minotaur, right?

Yes. What makes you think that anything short of killing every dwarf will bring any sort of stability from that? Kill every dwarf. Sassoon's gonna look at Malkus. Puzzlingly, he's like, "If I am not mistaken, did the south not just wage war and were the dwarves and drow and other races not involved in that war? And now, looking at Yanwood, you seek to start another." I believe that's the point, really. He's gonna look down and go back up. When I joined you, I had no... I had very little idea of what it is you were capable of and what it is you were planning on doing apart from entering the den of thieves, liars and murderers.

And now, circumstances have changed. I am not sure whether or not I can be the kindling to a fire that starts a war. Malkus looks at Yanwood and points to Sassoon and says what he said. Guys, this is about... This is about taking back what belongs to my people. Everything we had was robbed from us. Last time we were in there, they were sitting on chairs made of bones of minotaurs. Our skins were hanging from the walls like painting. We've always been the great liberators and fighting for the people who couldn't fight for themselves, and this is our next step.

The minotaurs need our help. They don't have a home. Their tower is gonna fall into the ground. And we helped them by extending the territory of the drow? The drow got drove out of their homes too. They're just reclaiming what's theirs. Full stop for a second. Jason, are the dwarves really so plainly the bad guys in this situation? Roll a history. Do I have that one? I don't have that one. Okay, it's gonna be low, but we'll get a shot. That's pretty good. It's a gray area. It depends on who you ask. The dwarves are not friends to a lot of races. Now if you ask the people of Donhurst, dwarves are great, because they've been fighting the orcs, and that's been distracting the orcs long enough for the town of Donhurst to build walls and have some sort of city structure and protect themselves.

So the dwarves are pretty much A-okay in their book. They also helped out in the war just now, as Sassoon pointed out, and without their help it could be debated that you guys might not have won. However, specifically if you're talking about the minotaur and the drow, both of their home cities were in and below that mountain. Stone Sunder not only murdered his way into the mountain, he sort of attacked the minotaur. I don't know how many of you guys listen to Living in Tharia, but the leader of the minotaur at the time, his daughter was getting married, and during the wedding ceremony, Stone Sunder murdered everyone there.

And yeah, pretty much led the dwarves into the mountain and took it over, and they just started shaping it ever since. So that exterminated a large portion of the minotaur, kind of left them leaderless, homeless, and then a while after that the dwarves just kept digging and eventually happened upon the drow home city and then took that too and used it for storage. Where were the dwarves before they had the mountain? Actually they were fairly nomadic. They were sort of driven out of their mountain by dragon activity and such, and they just kind of got tired of dealing with that problem.

So they sort of just went nomadic for a time, happened upon a place that they liked. They liked that not only could they shape the mountain to their liking, Stone Sunder had a tenuous truce with the minotaur leader at the time, and the dwarves were sort of insulted that they weren't invited to the wedding. The current leader of the minotaur at the time just didn't want any chance of there being a fight. They kind of get drunk, they want to use harsh words and everything, so at the time it was just like, "Okay, well, we'll make peace with him later.

Right now I just want my daughter to be happy." That didn't end up happening. So yeah, there's kind of a deep history there, but the dwarves don't have too many friends. I'm torn, Yennward. I appreciate that you want this land that belongs to you and your people, but I feel like every single time we've gotten involved in any kind of politics, it has always gone poorly for us. It's been a road to misery every single time we get involved. I just... we can't stay away from borders and kings. At least for a while. If you're worried about getting involved, it's a bit late for that.

On what grounds? Yennward made a deal with the drow. It's already done. She doesn't know where we are. We could be busy. The drow literally just left. And therefore don't know where we are from this point forward. They were tracking us before it. It would make sense that they would likely continue to do so afterwards. Let them come. I'm not about to be cowed by these cavern-crawling gutter elves. I'm done being shamed by kings and monarchs and forces. What are we? I mean, look at... I know not all of you were here prior to this, but we have done extremely powerful things to the history and to the landscape of Theria.

We don't need to bow to anyone. Let them try to kill us. We will send their heads back if we have to. We get to pick what we do. Nobody gets to order us around. And if Yennward's first action as king is to go back on a promise he made with another race, that doesn't look well upon him. No one outside of this party is looking at Yennward's king right now. He's wandering the countryside with us. Theo's gonna raise his hand. Why does he have a crown then? Yeah. Shut up, Theo. You're not involved. Adults are talking. Okay, sorry. I mean, what else are we gonna do?

We're just gonna run from the problems? I mean, I feel like if I don't take advantage of this deal now, I'll never have a better shot of getting what I want. Malchus bites his lip for a moment. Turns to Diana. What about you? Why are you so eager to talk to the drow? I think that ignoring their invitation, especially when there was already a promise at stake, would be suicide. No other reason other than you're afraid of them? I didn't say I was afraid. It's just logical. We don't have to agree. We just have to go hear what they have to say. Have to? Are you afraid of them?

Is that why you don't want to go? I don't want to go because they insulted us. They came here and they took our belongings. Then let's go to Fairbairn and confront them over it. Frankly, I'd rather just snub them and do what I want. Look, we can go and talk to them about it or we could run away like insolent children. Malchus just like slow head turns back at Diana. Don't you start about insolence. You've been nothing but a bickering mess since you joined this party. Says you. Says me. So soon he's gonna roll. Malchus, you do not speak to the pack leader in such a way.

You do not speak to her in that manner. I have heard enough. Yenward, your people need you. You will take back what belonged to you originally. But I will ask you think carefully on this. Must you spill blood and make the same mistakes they did? I hear you. Malchus, I understand. They insulted our honor by stealing from us. I detest these dirty skinned elves. But for the sake of my party members, my friends, my companions, I will bite my lip and do what is necessary. Look, Malchus, we're not them. I'm not going in murdering women and children, but I want Stone Sunder's head on a pike.

He slaughtered my people. We're not furniture. We're not rugs. That's our mountain and I intend to get it back. Malchus just casts his eyes across the entire party and he kind of comes to rest on Su'uun for a moment. And he says, you're saying you see her as the leader of this? I made my vow. I know who I follow. Malchus, I have seen you in battle. You do great and courageous things. But she, pointing at Diana, she seems to have this air about her. Laid back, smart, cunning. I can understand that. You seem angry. Angry at the world for what it has done to you.

Maybe not what it did to your people, but to you specifically. So yes, she is the leader. While Su'uun's rattling off attributes, do me a favor. Could you guys roll a perception check for me? Sure thing. Ooh, I got a crit! I didn't. Or die. While Su'uun is like, oh, she has an air about her and everything, Diana and Su'uun would just audibly hear Theo kind of mumble under his breath. Like he's starting to list off his own attributes. Just pretentiousness, racism, like just like under his breath while Su'uun is going. Diana's gonna not, like she's gonna flat out ignore that.

It's beneath her. She can't. Oh, cause a human setup? Uhh... Dirty filthy humans. Malkus shakes his head one last time and he says, I'm gonna follow you to go see them. I'm not going to meet with them. You can if you want to. You tell me what they say to you. And if I don't like even one word of it, I'm going on to Winterhaven on my own. Now let's get out of the woods. Well then, I have a question for the party. What route are you taking to get to Fairbay? The main road. Path of least resistance. Well, if you're taking the main road, that would lead you through Whitehedge, then Lockford, then Fairbay.

If you're cutting through the moors, then that would be a more direct route to Lockford. Ooh, I wanna know about moors. That's where the unicorns and the gnoll are, right? For the most part, among other things. Ooh, I wanna mount, so yeah, let's go there. That did not work out well for the last person. I don't give a crap about the last person. I wanna mount. I'm a lion. We're simply on our way to meet a bunch of elves and you wanna meet a unicorn as a mount. Or a Clyde gets a foreigner and Naga's soon as she greets us. We're not like those other elves. No!

Rob, are you in agreeance? That's a word now. I am in agreeance to the degree that Malchus expressed. Yeah, I guess that's what we're doing for now. Alright. Again, the 17th of Amada, it's bright and early in the morning. The weather is gorgeous. We're playing the hits. I would like one of you to do me a favor and roll a flat D20. All of us? Oh, what Thomas, you little snake. You absolute snake. I had my hand hovering over it. That is a save. That is a save. Sorry, okay. Can I, Jason, just for my own sensibility, can I just roll that D20 just to see what I would have gotten?

Sure. I'm glad you're home. You set the fuck down, Delmar. I got you. Nice roll, man. Appreciate it. [Laughter] If we were to enter your roll, eight dragons show up on the floor. [Laughter] With ball bats in hand. The gnolls are riding them and they have spiked ball bats. [Laughter] Like wrapped razor wire around claws. A bunch of dragons ascend from the silver glade. They're half-werewolf. [Laughter] Hours are gonna go by, guys. We're walking, by the way, aren't we? While we're walking, I know I would want to pull aside a few people and talk with them. Sure, go ahead.

I don't really, what are other people doing while they're walking? I don't know. Yanward is clumsily fumbling with Duncan's guitar and he's playing it very badly. No, no, no, don't say that. Don't say that. Oh no, that's sad. [Laughter] Theo is going to try and get his sword back from Yanward. Now, where would the, actually, where would the sword be on Yanward? Just kind of like tucked in my little loincloth, like on my hip. Alright, I'm gonna have Theo roll a thievery check. And we're gonna see if... 16. Does that beat Yanward's passive perception? Uhhhh, which one is my passive perception?

Where would I find that? It's your perception plus 10, I believe. Oh, okay, so my perception plus 10 would be... 16. Oh, right on it. Ahh! So, Theo is going to gently sneak that sword off of Yanward's person while he's fiddling with the guitar. And he's gonna, he's gonna put it back in a scabbard. Like, I'm not gonna notice. Can I, can I roll a perception check to see if I saw it? Sure, I don't see why not. Saw the fuck out of that. Yes. I'm gonna slow my roll, get next to Theo, and be like, "Theo, remember when you shot Dirthak?" Yes. "And what did they tell you not to do?" Don't shoot Dirthak.

Don't shoot an ally. Right. What did you just do? I... took my sword. Hmm, some would call that stealing. It was my sword. But some would call it stealing. Nonetheless, can I have a look at it? No. Theo, may I please look at your sword? Every time I give the sword to one of you guys, you either throw it or take it. May I please look at your sword? Giant lion. Can I hear him raising his giant lion voice? He got a crit. He got a crit on the intimidate. To paint a picture, Sassoon towers over Theo. And I imagine each time he asks, he leans in a little further. Fine.

And he's gonna, he's gonna offer it up to Sassoon. Thank you. I'm going to wave it around a little bit, check the weight, and then I want to roll a... I'm not good at magic, but I want to roll an arcana check to see if there's anything down with this kid's sword. I got a 20 on that. You're not sensing anything magical about this sword. Okay, I'm just gonna be like, hmm. And he's gonna hand it back to Theo. But he's gonna look at Yenward. Yenward, Theo took the sword while he weren't looking. Oh, Theo's gonna glare at Sassoon. Yenward's gonna look down his hip like, what?

Dude, did I, did you take that? It's my sword. Duncan said I couldn't give it back to you, but just don't tell him, alright? Keep your dumb sword. There's gonna be an ear-to-ear smile, just like, okay. And he's gonna put it right back in its scabbard. Don't steal from me again. I didn't kill you, dude. It's my sword. It's on my hip. You touched my hip and I didn't see you, that's weird. He's gonna kind of file back in the line just like the entire time. Like, kind of, like, he's kind of got like one hand on it the entire time now. Just kind of, he's kind of defensive about it.

Listen, fish, your boy's not here to protect you no more. Kind of lonely in these showers, ain't it? Anybody get to you yet? That's a Shawshank reference. What's happening? Watch the Shawshank redemption. We're quoting jail movies. The deal is on you, fish. Okay. A fish is an inmate that you fuck, Kelsey, because... I love that, yes. That made it so... Not all the time. Sometimes it just means newbie or bitch. Doesn't always... Well, you're always weak until you prove yourself in prison. Right, exactly. So until Theo murders one of you... Try. They took a shot at the orc.

He tried to become a sock. He did. He literally picked a fight with the toughest, scariest guy in the party. We should give him some credit. So, Diana. She's gonna kind of pull Sassoon aside. We're all walking, just far enough away from the party where it's kind of clear having her own... Own... This is a bitch, but not completely separate, because I don't want to get ambushed and die. Is that okay with Sassoon? Yeah, let's go. Alright, so kind of getting away from them, just gonna cut the suits. Thank you for what you said back there. There is no need to thank me.

I just said what I thought. Well, it was very much appreciated. I'm not exactly used to hearing positive terms associated with myself, but... It was certainly nice to have some support, and... I will have your back as well, should you ever need it. She looks kind of a bit unsteady as she's saying that. This is kind of like... She's kind of unsure, is this the right thing to say? Is that...? That is very much appreciated. I will also have your back, your side, your front, anywhere that needs protecting. Both you and the rest of them. That sounds like a very good plan indeed.

Especially considering where we may end up in the next few days. It's traveling and it's never exactly a sure thing. May I ask you something, Lady Diana? Go on. And please, do not be insulted. I am simply speaking my mind. There is this animosity between you and Malchus. I do not understand. I feel maybe there should be some common ground we stand on. Otherwise we will devour each other from the inside out. She's gonna kind of frown a bit, not like she's thinking about us. There really wasn't much time that we had together before we met you in Brightport. I was admittedly expecting something different than what we found when we met him.

And along the way, he said a few things that, well, you were there for when he was drunk. I do not partake of alcohol. It loosens the mind, makes some people crazy. Look, again, I don't want to insult you. But I fear that Malchus, he will leave. Duncan, he had his own mission to accomplish, yes. As do I, as does Janur and maybe Theo even. Malchus, he is a puzzle piece to me. But I think you can put us all together. That's strange to hear in regards to something like this. I'm not exactly the best at being friendly. You are friendly enough to me. She's gonna kind of raise an eye about him like that.

So just like, you made a good impression. If you think it is wise, I will be willing to give Malchus another chance. I am concerned with the way he's been acting. But I think perhaps we're all a bit sore from Duncan's departure. He's gonna kind of like shrug. He'll smile at what you said before taking his vice. And he's of your people. You may not know him, but he indirectly is a part of you and vice versa. I implore you to mend bridges so that we can move forward. She'll nod at that. I don't know how much that's possible really, but I will see what can be done.

He's gonna nod at that. If there is anything else, then I will go back to the front and take point. Oh, of course, yes. And thank you again. It is no problem. You guys are going to continue to travel. Pretty much unabated. You're gonna see random passersby, merchants, things like that, when you get close to White Edge. You are gonna see a lot more activity, obviously. You're gonna see a lot more passersby, just travelers, people like that, farmers on the outskirts. And you are going to continue onto the road, unless you want to stop in White Edge. I would like to stop simply because I need to do some hygiene.

Like, I need to clean my own, get washed, you know. It might be nice to stop for a night. De-stress. Okay. So you guys are looking to check into the inn. Yeah. The biggest, fanciest thing you can find, honey. In White Edge, that's not super large or fancy, but it's a nice little place. So obviously you guys have plenty of coin to cough up and stay there. It's a similar situation as the one in Aubrey, if you remember the little B&B type place you stopped into. Slightly larger because it's near Brightport. They actually house a lot more tourists and things like that.

The only place near Aubrey is really Dernhollow and then Winterhaven. On occasion, people will stop by. But in White Edge, they get a little bit more tourist activity. So the place is a little bigger. They have the similar thing where they'll clean your armor and stuff like that for a little extra gold. You can stop there, rest for the night. So unless anyone has any business actually in town... Jason. Quick one. The... What's the word I'm looking for? Prostitute. The prostitute. No, no, no, no. The layout of this town, what I want to know is if there is a religious deity or whatever, is there like a religious thing here?

Is there like a church or a temple or a statue that people go and pray to? There are statues set up. It's not really a full-blown church type of scenario so much in White Edge. They do have different gods represented and people go there to pray and stuff. Mostly people like Melora and people trying to... If they're going on a trip or something like that, especially back and forth to Brightport, there's so many ambush spots. Because of Bandit's Rest, because of just the nature of Brightport, you know, they'll wish for luck and guidance and things like that.

But I'm not a super religious town, White Edge. Okay. If I can find any kind of shrine or whatever to... What was the name of the god? Well, Melora, if you're talking nature or something like that, what do you... I just want to interact with somebody on some religious level or somebody who is doing some kind of prayer for their travel. Do me a favor and roll perception, see what you pick up. Ooh. Very nice. Your perception's pretty good. It's pretty shiny. So, again, there's representations for most of the gods. There's one for Kord. Kord gets lots of play. That's like your base god.

So there's one for a monitor. There's one for Alondra, Aerithis. So, I mean, most of the gods are represented here. The Pampians and that, yeah. Mm-hmm. Most of it. You are going to see someone... There's kind of set up in a big circle in town. So they kind of put all of these statues in pretty much the same place. So it's a nice... It's kind of a quiet place. Picture a huge stone gazebo type of thing. It's like Stonehenge but cooler. Kind of. Like, you got, like, snaking ivy and things like that. Like, it's a little overgrown with plant life, but it kind of adds to the...

Mystique. Yeah, it kind of adds to the mood. It's a quiet place, kind of... It's in town, but it's not near anything, like, bustling. And you're going to see a younger man. Looks to be around 16, somewhere in there, kneeling in front of the Alondra statue. I'm going to watch him and wait until he's finished praying, I presume? Yeah, pretty much. Like, he... Kneeling like you'd guess. Like an educated guess would be. Alright, well, when he's done, I'd like to incorrect. And he's going to wrap things up and then stand up and turn and see... Sisun. Which... Kind of shocking.

Big ol' lion guy. Not super present. The lion folk on the mainland. So, it's a little shocking. Like, at first, kind of thinks you're a monster. So, going to turn around and then... An expression of pure shock go over his face. And then he's going to get ahold of himself. Can I help you with something? Maybe. Just now. The deity you were worshipping. Tell me of her. Alondra? Is that her name? Yeah. I'm getting ready to start a new job and I'm... Going to be taking off west. I didn't want to work with my dad, so... I'm heading off that way. And... Supposedly... She blesses people who make their own way in life.

So... I kind of figured that fell under that category. That makes a lot of sense. Do you truly believe that the gods exist? I guess as much as anyone, yeah. Figured it couldn't hurt. I... Do... I'm... In search of... Never mind. I'm sorry. What was your name? Timothy. Timothy, I am Susunafei. You're what now? He's going to look down. I am Isusunafei. Got it. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Be safe. This kid's going to hold out his hand to shake. I'm going to shake his hand. And he's going to give you a little nod. And then just sort of break away. Okay. As he leaves and I figure I'm by myself.

You said like a circle, right? Like the pantheon's are all of us? Yeah. I'm going to sit in the middle. Legs folded. And in abyssal. Is that how I say it? Is that right? I've been saying it like that. Is that right? Abistle? I don't know. The language I speak? The second language I speak? Abistle. Abistle. That's very cool. Abistle. Yeah. Alright. Cool. In abyssal, I'll just be chanting some words over and over again. Father, mother, brother, sister, auntie, uncle, grandfather, grandmother. Like over and over again. And just when I'm done, get up, bow, and then I'll leave.

That was sweet. So beyond staying the night, do you guys have anything you'd like to do in town? Yeah, we would like to kind of poke Malkus in the shoulder and get his attention. What is it? Thanks for the tone. You have to leave a note for Duncan, remember? Didn't want you to forget. Malkus sighs, gets up. So what the deal was, send someone like a courier to go and pin a note to the dragon carcass? Pretty much, yeah. Okay. What time of day is it? Is that something that can be... Right now, okay, so you can either do it bright and early in the morning or before you leave.

Because it's going to be pretty late when you guys get to town. It's going to be later. Okay, yeah, let's do it in the morning as we're leaving because that kind of makes the most sense saying "Exiting such and such headed towards such and such." Sure. I'll do it in the morning. Thank you. Alright, just don't forget. You won't be able to find us if you don't do it. He's coming back. We'll see. So do me a favor. Actually, okay, if you're just hiring a straight up courier, so you can pretty much hire someone for like 15 gold, somewhere in there. What I'd like to do, I want to go through like an official service, not just like...

Oh yeah, no, this is a courier, like not like Ralph down the street. Yeah, yeah. Because the only other option is to hire like... Timothy. So this is a courier. This is someone who does that for a living. And it's not even a package, you're just having them deliver a note and it's pretty close by. Hopefully he doesn't run into Benny. Yeah. So yeah, this would be just like a 15 gold exchange and then they'd head out. All you're doing is dropping off a note and telling them where. Yeah, I give him coordinates and the note basically says "Leaving this town time date headed direction X." Okay.

So it is now the 18th of Amada. And you guys, well the next stop on the road officially would be Lockford. Do we pick up like more wagon yokes and more oxen? Yeah. Okay, there we go, Oregon Trail Trail. Nice. I got it. Shout out to the Apple II, everyone. The next day, who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat T20? Me, me, me, me, me. Can I do it now? No, go ahead, go ahead. Come on. Oh my God. You know what, Delmar? I think you got it. You can just have the rest of those forever. All right, so for the orbiter at home, I just rolled a two off the same table of turbulence.

I want the same courtesy and I want to see what I would have rolled. Oh, come on, man. It's a freaking two. So Jason, how are we going to die? Just leave it laid out. Jason, remember, I just did a religious thing, you know, maybe I could go a long ways with that too. Yeah, the gods have a real history of listening in Theria. Yeah. Rob, recently on the show, we discussed a really good reason as to why. Okay. We're dead. Hours pass. And you will be about halfway between Whiteheadge and Lockford. And again, you're traveling past an area called the Moors, which is pretty famous for being the home of the unicorns.

Thankfully, no one in the party is elven. And again, they're offset from the road. That's not really a worry for the most part. They usually stick to themselves. Now, if you, you know, encroach on their territory, then they get a little uppity and violent. From behind you, you are all going to hear a noise. And it's the sound of a wagon moving at breakneck speed. And you're going to hear shouting. Everyone do me a favor, roll a perception check. Okay. There's a 20. Where was that 20 again? I suck, god damn it. Fuck man, I always blow those. Jason, I'd like to change that crit for the two picks.

Oh my god, I'm blowing all my good rolls. So, I'm going to go with Sassoon, Malkus, and Diana, turning your head toward the noise. I would imagine the whole party would turn, but in the span of a couple of seconds, you're going to hear this wagon come up. And at first, it's just going to sound like a wagon. And what happens usually when you're on the main road is you hear a wagon or a horse or something like that. You just move out of the way and let them through and they go by and that's it. Sometimes you try and hitch a ride, something like that. But most of the time, eh.

But you're going to hear this wagon and quickly it's going to become apparent that one of two things is happening. Either these people have lost control of their wagon and these horses are just yanking them down the road, or they're running from something. And Sassoon, Malkus, and Diana are going to turn and see that on the sides of the wagon, crawling up from the back, you are going to see a grouping of gnolls. This wagon appears to be completely under siege and the person driving it is trying to do everything he can to shake them off. And at a certain point, there is going to be a gnoll with a spear.

And he is going to jam that spear into the spoke, one of the wheels up front in the wagon. And the wheel is pretty much going to brake clean off. And this wagon is going to start to careen toward the party. Let me break out my athletics check. Everyone do me a favor, roll an athletics check. Oh wow, this is my highest goal so I never get to do it. Oh, yup. Yup. Jason, can I roll an endurance check because I know for a fact I'm going to fail. You know what, fuck it. Fuck it. Yup, crit one. I knew I was going to fail, I wanted to do an endurance check so I would take the hit instead.

Sassoon lays down on his stomach. You're so stupid. Nailed mine, I rolled an 18. You actually used your strength for something. Oh no wait, I used my acrobatics, I was meant to use athletics. Maybe it's not that bad. Not bad. That's better. So, hold on a second, let me set up a map for you guys. Let me set up a little map situation here. I want Yenward to vault over the wagon. Yenward is like totally ripped onto all that fur. Absolutely. He is, dude. You see his character already has abs. Abs for days. That's old character art. The tonk character art has abs too.

Yeah, covered with fur though. Yenward didn't get fat. No, he just doesn't manscape, that's all. Why would he mans, man? A cow man. Dude, I never get to use my athletics, I'm so happy. My endurance is pretty high too, I never get to do that one either. Oh, right. Okely dokely. That's a lot of nulls. Sure is. Jason, question. Because this is all lore question. It's a lore question. Sure. I'm a lion dude, nulls are dog feral things. Hyenas, basically. Hyenamen. Okay, then I have an innate hate for these things. Well, they're on Talor too and they're not, yeah. There's kind of an off-breed of them in Talor.

They're a little taller, a little leaner, but yeah, the ones on the mainland, they're close enough. Like, if lionfolk are big on honor, I don't think that nulls are... Oh yeah, nulls are scumbags bottom sliders there. Yeah. So here's the thing, here's what's gonna happen, guys. So, what's gonna happen is Diana and Diana. Diana is gonna get struck by this cart. Well, let's see how much damage this is going to do. Is it attacking me? Oh, it hit you because that was the... So, 27 damage. No, that's not too bad. And Diana is going to start combat back here, take 27 damage, and will be knocked prone.

Everyone do me a favor, roll initiative. Can't we talk to them? They're trying to murder this person and that's... That person ain't us. What? We don't have to help everybody. Oh, you could choose to run. You guys, let's fucking run. Dude, show of hands, for real. Like, who wants to fight seven nulls and we don't have a healer? I'm kind of a healer. Kind of. But not seven. You're not seven nulls kind of healer. So let's run. Let's have a healer deploy. The nulls are like their hyenas. They attack the moving cart. They're going to be going after the cart and that gives us a null.

But the cart just crashed into Diana. And knocked her way far away. She can get up and run. Are the nulls looking at us, Jason? Well, what would have happened here, there'd be kind of a massive pileup and as everyone stands up, they're going to see you as just in the way. Tom? Yes. Out of character? I want to fight these motherfuckers. In character, unfortunately. I hate them. And I wouldn't really run away from a fight like this. Show of hands, who wants to run? I want to run. We never run. I'm fine with running. I'm just, I'm unsure of our ability to get away.

If Sisoo wouldn't run, I wouldn't leave him behind. I will roll in athletics to grab Sisoo. He's in like heavy plate armor and he's like- Still be grabbed. I've been trying- Just as big. Yeah. If it fails, then I'm in this because I'll be playing outside my character. I don't want to do that. Okay. So I will roll the analytics check now. Well, you got to wait till your turn. Fuck, man. We just- By that point, we're not ready. You're in it. Tom, we're in it. Yeah. Come on, dude. We're going to be surrounded. I know, I'm on your side. I don't want to fight these guys.

Of course I don't. I never want to fight in this game. Why can't we be friends? Diana. Okay. It would all pretty much depend on what Diana chooses to do here. Well, I can't- I have to stand up as my move action because I was prone. And if it- I mean, like, as far as she's concerned, I mean, looking at you guys, like, I don't think it looks like- I don't know, like, that doesn't- that's not something our party generally does. And even if we were, well, the stuff I'm going to do would help with us running away anyways. So, eh. It would probably be better if one of you, like, picks me up all the way than me trying to run myself.

Because I'm not good at athletics. Yeah. Does that make sense? Is that cool? Theo's got you. He'll pick you up. Yeah, Theo's got you. He'll grab that. Yeah. He's going to cradle you in his strong arms. It's like, what's this? Then a hero comes along. They're so beautiful. I'm gonna keep you alone. What's the call, uh, what's the call? Okay, so, so, like, I'm asking you guys, so, I have spells up that spells up whether we fight or run away, they will help us. For my move action, I have to stand up anyways. And I'm already kind of further back. So I'm just gonna do my thing and we'll see what the gnolls do.

And if it comes to your guys' turn, you can do that thing. Is that cool? Okay. So, the first thing I'm gonna do is stand up. I'm thinking negative text. Thank you. Okay, so let's see. So the first thing I'm gonna do is use Mirage Arcana, which is a daily. The first thing that happens is it creates a zone, which is the first cheese I'm gonna do. So, this is the effect. The burst creates a zone that lasts until the end of the encounter. The zone is difficult to run, creatures grant combat advantage while in it. And then, I make the falling attack. Do that to all of those people, probably, and then do this.

Daaaaaamm. That hits everyone. Okay, that's nice. So first we do damage, which isn't gonna be much, but, oh, maybe not. Did that kill two of them? Okay. That's nice. I wasn't expecting that, to be honest. Okay. Maybe we don't need to run. It's not as bad as we thought it was. Okay, and then, so, it does the damage and the target phase is dazed. And cannot leave the zone willingly and cannot see creatures outside the zone. Save ends all of that. False. That's solid. So, Kelsey, what do we see? Describe this to us. So this is, but it's an illusion, so that means I don't think we're actually going to see anything as far as I am aware.

What do the Nolts see? So from the Nolts perspective, and this is, I think, from the perspective of anyone that would be inside the zone, or maybe even outside it, so the terrain, so the ground that they're standing on is going to kind of like twist. Like, the exact words used are rides and warts and reshaped into a sinister realm born from darkest nightmare. Damn. So, that's what's going to happen. So let's see, Hel. I use Devil powers and Diana's powers freak me out. She summons Hel. You come from Hel. Yeah. You guys are making a great name for Tieflings.

It's an illusion. It's not actually Hel. No, you're just raping their mind into thinking that it's Hel. I see what you did there, Jason. I see what you did there. That was a really strong word. Is it? Is it really? Yes. Yes, it is. I mean, you could throw it around in a full room. Doesn't matter. Anyway, who's next? Anywho. Then I'm going to Action Point. Kill him. Oh, we're going deep. Okay. So this is Phantom House. There is an attack with this. This is just a thing that happens. It's going to be, so each target is going to be slowed until the end of my next turn.

And until the end of my next turn, the first time they make an attack, they got to make a saving throw. And then I will end my turn. No Praytaker 2 is going to move forward twice, and he is going to try and use an attack, which means I have to roll a saving throw, right? Yes, a saving throw at a minus 2. Okay, so he still saves. All right. He is going to try and throw a net around Malchus. I haven't seen him expand his bat wings yet. He can turn to spines. That's useless. That is a quick- Oh no. Never mind. It's a really strong- Not a big hit. So just 21. And jeez, prone, immobilized, and cannot stand until you escape.

Super. Yeah, it's not a great start, but you're not super hurt either. Escaping is like the hire of athletics or acrobatics, right? Yes. It's like being grabbed. Is somebody allowed to help him before his turn to get out of this net? Yeah, he pulled the net off. My knowledge, I think it's treated pretty much like a grab, so- The best you can do is like aid another, but that would just give me a plus 2. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta like stop and try and undo the knot type of thing. Okay, pre-taker one. So they're in this zone. And the target is dazed, cannot leave the zone randomly, and cannot see creatures outside of the zone.

So do nothing, basically. Oh, this is daily. Yes. So he saved from- Yeah, that will barely save, yeah. How long does his zone last? The zone is till the end of the encounter, but those effects are save ends. So right now he should only be slowed in grand combat advantage, yeah, that's correct. Okay. The table did, apparently. Nolcic event two is going to move forward two and use his longbow. So before he does that, saving throw. Okay, yeah, looks good. He's going to target Diana. And longbow. 21's gonna miss. So... I'm picturing a Nol fumbling with a bow with his stupid dog hands.

He can't even grab the string. Theo. Theo! He's going to draw his sword. He's gonna fall down the fence. Put it down, no. Theo's gonna use a daily, he's gonna use lightning bolt. Oh god. Take cover. He is going to try and strike the champion up front, because he seems to be the largest and most aggressive. Question. My stormwriter, remember that if I hit something that's classified as large, I add four damage? Is he large? He's still a medium target, he's not quite large. Like if it would take more than one square on the thing. Yeah, like a troll, something like that.

I have a follow up question. Sorry to slow down combat and shit. Tom's storm render plus Theo's lightning. Anything? Only if Theo were to cast it against... Come on, Guild Wars 2 combo field. Here's how it works. So, 11 and higher is what you're shooting for. So for every one below, so he rolled an 8. So from the target, moving out one space, for every one he hits below that, that's the range this lightning bolt is going to. Like, somewhere in there. So that would be the champion, the praytaker, or Malchus. Oh phew, I'm good. So let's say Malchus is 1, the champion is 2, the praytaker is 3, and 4, it'll just strike the ground. 2, so he's gonna hit the champion.

Okay, that's what we wanted. Good job guys. Theo! That will hit 48 damage to the champion. Tizam! Nice. And it's Malchus and I are gonna get a +1 to our attacks because we're team mates. Y-andward. Y-andward. Okay, if I saunter up to the champion and I attack him, does that fuck up your field? The field, it will affect you if you're in it, but you can be right in front of him when you're cool. And also you're gonna get combat advantage, so. Okay, I am gonna saunter up to him and I am going to use Brood Strike. Here we go. Brood Strike. Oh I crit missed, okay. Yeah.

I am going to put my head down in shame and wait 'til my next opportunity to attack him. Malchus, your turn. Were this a more comedic campaign, I would describe Malchus struggling against the net and being like, "I am the darkness you will see, so dark." Oh I am so wicked and blasphemous and I stand up. But instead Malchus will grumble and brood and he will make an athletics check first of all to attempt to break free from his confines. Okay. How's that Nash 1 do for you? Is that, does that take me out? Um, gonna fall a little shy? Is it weak then? Robber winebunnies.

So I take, that's the standard action, I can't burn my move action to try, can I? No, that's kinda, yeah. Yeah, Malchus flounders against the net and is utterly ashamed. So dark. He's so ashamed, I mean, just like he's been bested by rope. It's a really nice rope. Genrin wants to share a knowing glance with Malchus. Oh, and there's this like, "I feel your bro" glance that he sends back. And then he's done. Sassoon, your turn. Diana, how are you doing on health? I'm not doing too bad, I've only taken like 20 damage, that's maybe... Okay. I'm doing fine, really, I don't, don't...

The card only did 23 damage, she's good for cards. Yeah. I'm gonna come up next to Yenwood. Yenwood, you get a +1 to your defenses because of in-shining armor, and also you get a +1 to all your attacks because of pack attack. I will first use a divide challenge, pop it on this guy. So I've marked him. Then I will hit him with a... Actually, I mean, he needs it because he's already fucked up, isn't he? Yeah, fuck it, I'll hit him with an enabling strike. Missed. Yeah, okay, that's me, I'm done. So there's literally nothing they can do. Nothing, I mean, he can move within the zone.

Yeah, but they can't see anything on the outside, they can't leave the zone willingly, they're dazed, so there's really nothing. I think he's safe. He definitely is safe. He definitely saves. Nailed it. Alright, yeah, he wants it. Alright, go ahead, Diana. Let's see, Charm of Misplaced Wrath. That's gonna hit. Okay, so hit, I slide the target up to three squares, so can you put him up next to Seesoon and the Gnoll Chieftain? Okay, and then he's gonna be dazed until the end of my next turn. And then as an effect, the target makes a basic attack against a creature of my choice, so he would attack the Havoc Gnoll Tribal Champion and he gets a +2 power bonus damage, but since it's a forced attack, he's gonna get +2 to that roll.

That'll hit. 16 damage. And, oh, end my turn. Alright, so... Beyond being dazed? Well, he is in the zone, so now he's just gonna get Crown-mouthed Evangel in it, but that's it. It's difficult terrain. But he can leave it. Yeah, he can leave it. He just grants combat advantage and that's because of the zone. Pre-taker one, so... One, two, three... Four, five, six... And probably gonna fire on Malkus 'cause he's in a net, so... So he's gonna chuck a spear at him. And 26 will miss. Aha! Uh, evasive action. Artful dodge. [laughs] I'm doing the worm under there. Malkus just looks up from under his net, he's like, "You're on the list!" The sycophant's been watching Diana cast spells, so...

One, two, three... Five, six... That will close the gap. Hand axe. 29, that'll hit. Wait, no, I'm gonna pop shield. Then a counter, get a +4 bonus to AC and reflex until the end of my next turn. I don't have a zombie for that, but... Alright. Champion, who is still... So yeah, just roll another saving throw. So that'll do it. Thea would help Diana. He is going to whip out his crossbow. Oh no. He's gonna hit me! [laughs] God damn it. No, he's not. He's actually gonna target. Let your arrow fly straight north. Don't worry, I spoke to him about that. He is gonna miss, though, with his attack, but...

He tried, is the important thing. E-N-ward... You'll get it next time, buddy. I'm gonna stare the champion right in the face, I'm still targeting him, right? Last time? Yep. And I am going to nail him with my reckless strike. That's gonna miss. I'm sure it will. Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. My lucky charm. Roll a d6. Is it worth it, Jason? What do you mean? If... Is it... I can't tell you. Yeah, fuck it. I'm gonna use my lucky charm and roll a d6. And add that to my thing. Did that do it? That'll hit. Yay! Yes, okay. Damage. Jesus, 44 damage.

That will kill the champion. Hell yes! That will be the end of my turn. I wanna look back at Malchus and give him a really enthusiastic thumbs up. Malchus just continues flailing against the net. For the champion, boom. Can I make a request? For? See, Gnolls are like dogs, and I think losing their pack leader would be a serious blow to their morale. I think they should take a negative, Jason. No. But... They have enough negatives in play, trust me. Also, fun fact, hyenas are more closely related to cats than they are to dogs. They're basically... They're the cat attempt at being a dog, just like foxes are the dog attempt at being a cat. 'Cause of conversion evolution.

Nerd. Malchus, your turn. Alright, take two. Malchus versus net. Enthusiastic thumbs up. You got it. Oh my god! Wow. Oh wow. That's two ones in a row. That's two ones in a row. No, no, no. You don't give the net credit. Don't. That's kicking your ass, man. Whose side are you on? Those net council creeps got to you too, huh? The net union. That is amazing. Well, I mean, the good news is you guys seem to be handling it. I wouldn't wanna take the glory away. I mean, there's so many notable kills here, like Knoll and that Knoll. Right, exactly. He threw a net on me, Ace. Keep 'em here.

S'soon, your turn. Right. I will target this dude. Then I will use... I'll obviously mark him, 'cause, you know, that's a staple. Then I will use Beck and Faux. Charisma modifier damage. You pull the target a number of squares equal to your Wisdom modifier. I cause damage and then I get to move him, right? I get to pull him. The word is "pull". Would that cause an opportunity to attack? It's forced movement, so I don't believe so. Alrighty then. Did I hit him? I hit him. You hit him. Alright, I'm gonna move him three spaces away from Diana. Just move him three spaces down, Jason.

And he'll be dead. Cool. Alright, so then I didn't move, so I'll change my move into another miner and I'll mark the guy that's right next to me. Yeah? 'Kay. Cool. And let's hope. Let's see here... My mic was muted so no one heard my great "nol" and "void" joke. Ahh! Oh, sorry. We appreciate it though. So this mic gives you the license to bring an old joke into the world. [Laughter] Praytaker 3 is going to throw a spear at Theo. That will hit. 25 damage to Theo. Motherfucker. Diana, your turn. Oh yeah, totally. I'm going to use Charm of the Defender against this guy.

That's gonna hit. I slide the target up to three squares. I can just put him next to two twosies. And he's gonna be immobilized until the end of my next turn. And then when Praytaker 2 takes his turn, Praytaker 1 is gonna have to attack him. So now. Yeah. And he's gonna get a power bonus to the attack roll equal to my influence enhancement, which is a plus two. And since it's forced attack, it's also another plus two, so that's going to be plus four. That's crit-ness. That's gonna crit-ness. But because he made an attack that didn't involve moi. It wasn't the view that you targeted.

Okay, nevermind. I'm sorry. I'm retracted. Alright, so two is... Well, you know what? Fuck it. Standing next to Sassoon. Sassoon's gonna get it. Am I? We might. I don't know. Give it to me. Come on. Spear. That'll miss. Probably wouldn't give it to me, man. He's trying. He's trying to. He's trying to give it to you. Well, maybe one will give it to you. One's not gonna give it to you. Ain't nobody giving me shit. Theo. X is gonna give it to you. Give it to you? Theo's gonna put away the crossbow. It worked so well last time, dude. And he's going to hold out his hands toward Knoll Praytaker #3.

Let's see how well this is gonna work first. Ooh, that's not gonna work very well. Oh, god. He's gonna let loose an icy spray that is going to go in every direction except toward the Knoll he's pointing at. Oh, no. Just picture kind of a shotgun blast in the area. Now the good news is that no one is standing anywhere near that general zone, so no one's gonna get struck with that except... Okay. Yeah, so... That's a good thing. But it's basically going to paint an area around the Knoll instead of hitting the Knoll. Yennward, your turn. Yennward. See, Yennward is really offended that Havok Knoll Praytaker #3 would dare touch a sweet hair on my baby Theo's head.

So, I'm gonna bullcharge that fucker. Bam! That will hit. Yes, okay. 38 damage. Okay, and I ram him. That pushes him one thing back. And then I occupy the space he vacated. And then I'm gonna pop my action point and I'm gonna use Bone Crusher. Oh, Jesus. It's really pissed that you touch a hair on Theo's precious head. Well, you're definitely gonna hit. Well, he's super dead. He's vulnerable to 10th weapon damage now. His body is. You've liquefied this Knoll. That'll be the end of my turn. Malkus, third times the charm. Yennward wants to give a third and final thumbs up to Malkus.

There's a long-standing blood feud between Tieflings and Nets. Apparently. Our hatred goes back generations, so. I was unaware of that. Rest assured that though no hit points have been exchanged between myself and the Net, that a brutal battle is being waged beneath the threads. And the Net is winning. And the Net is winning very much so. That Net is fucking you up. Will a 16 get me free of the Net? Not quite, no. Are you serious? What kind of Net is this? I imagine it's like caught in his horn. How'd he get into it? Freaking magic Nets of the damned? Like it's so close, but not quite.

I don't want to tell you no, but. It's six fishnet shirts just heaving from the ground. Ah, don't worry Malkus. Sit this one out. We got this. I'm rationing my powers. The second battle of the day is when I'm gonna come into my own. That's when I'll carry. So soon. Your turn. Alrighty then. Diana is within five squares of me. This is true. Okay good. Therefore Theo is as well. I will use Shielding Smite. That'll hit. You're hitting Breaktaker too. Jesus, yes, he is very much wounded. And then I'll put this on Theo. One ally, yes. So I'll put this on Theo. He gains a plus three to his AC.

Fucking A. Awesome. Theo can use this. I haven't moved, but that's fine. I'll call it a turn. Diana, your turn. Okay, so. Let's see. Null Praytaker number two. This is gonna do. Hypnotism. That's gonna hit. That's just attack the dude next to him. He gets a plus four from hypnotism and a plus two from my thing. So that's a plus six against Praytaker number one. Please. Oh. Oh Jesus, yeah. Okay. That will do 29 damage. So soon is he gonna take a negative from attacking someone besides you? Yes. He's gonna take six radiant damage for not evolving the Ehems attack. Okay.

That's it. So two's gonna stop targeting and then target Sassoon and then probably miss. Praytaker one is gonna target two for getting stabbed and nearly. He's dead. He died because. Yeah. Yeah, he did. So you just see this like white light pop out of his head and then poof. Theo's turn. All right. He's gonna get into position. Grab his crossbow. Look back at him. That will target the knoll. Ooh. That's gonna miss. It's my turn? Yep. Oh, um, I'm not going to be able to reach one, two, three, four. You can move in first. Yeah, I'll do that then. I was gonna use one of my good attacks, but I'm gonna move up to Sassoon and I am going to, I'm gonna use my ranged basic attack.

Yeah. That'll hit. Nice. Puck his hand. That will kill him. Yay. We did it. Good job guys. That'll take you guys out of combat. I think that's probably a good time for us to stop for the night. We played it. Jason, we started at seven. I have to wake up and do commentaries. I have to go to work in two hours. I'm, wait, is that advocating for or against? No, for to play. Like, I was beating your excuse. Oh, um, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry. I gotta go to bed early tonight. I gotta wake up bright and early tomorrow to do commentaries and stuff. And I'd like to spend a little time with my girlfriend before I gotta do that.

We did get a lot of role playing ground cover the other night. Yeah, I said this one would probably be the one that sets you on your way and then like, we didn't get to all the stuff I had planned, but that's fine. We'll get to it next time. Thank you guys so much for listening. Before we go, we'd like to remind you guys to check out our Patreon at patreon.com/dandr. Our Facebook, you can look us up as Dungeons and Randomness. Give us a five-star rating on iTunes and give us a little comment about what you think. Check us out on Twitter with our dandr podcast.

Finally, check out the forums because we love to hear back from you guys and we are trying to get more people to go that way. Thank you guys so much for your support and we will see you in a week. Bye.