The Docks

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(coughing) - Peacocks. - This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. - Um, I think they mean us. - Oh, (beep) Um, (clears throat) - With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday, only on Peacock. (dramatic music) - You're the Marine? - Yeah, you're the ex-con. - Yeah, I did time, but you only gotta cast aspersions at me. - From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

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- Yes, to Popeyes. Do you even know how to fish? - No, I thought you did. - Oh yeah, I could catch pretty good seafood at Popeyes. Let's go. - Let Popeyes do the fishing while you enjoy our delicious signature seafood. Get Popeyes flounder fish sandwich or shrimp tackle box before they're gone. Limited time at participating US restaurants. Episode 135 of the DNR podcast is brought to you today by Noble Knight Games. Guys, you've heard us talk about Noble Knight now for many months. Well, right now they want your feedback. If you've purchased something since we've started advertising for them, swing by their site, let them know that you've purchased something.

Let them know why, let them know what you purchased. If you haven't purchased something from them, well, let them know why. What kept you from purchasing from them? They do have a lot of great deals on their featured page and if you haven't checked them out, I really urge you to go do so. Nobleknight.com. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Jasper. Hey, this is Jasper. I play Maric Ethelred, a human cleric, no longer a werewolf. And Jamie. Hi there, I'm Jamie Bonez.

(laughing) Congratulations. And I play Cory Forestkeeper, a goliath seeker. And Roni. I hate you so much. (laughing) I haven't done it in a while. Hi, I'm Mac, not Roni. And I play Kaluna Volgarius, the wild and shaman. Guys, this is the party. This is it. Yeah. Good people. You know, it's been a long time since G3 has been a three person party. It's true. Three is a magic number, you guys. It could be, we'll see. No one joined in on the song, okay. Okay. (laughing) I did, but I was muted. Betrayal. I did, it was in my head and I hated myself. Good. My job here is done.

Goodbye guys. Thanks for playing. So last time on the show, the party and Jadcian Palace took a trip to Brightport. You handled some affairs, you talked to Tessia. So now Tessia knows that Jadcian Palace got married and they have officially left the party. They have retired. They are gone. And one day we might catch up with them. Don't know yet. Now you guys have a bit of a trek in front of you. You are heading into the Hazen Mountains. You are not exactly sure where. You have a general area where you're going to explore, but it's gonna take you a while to get there.

Now, Tessia has set you up with some horses. So what would you guys like to do here? Are you going to just leave or I believe Gratic was someone you were going to talk to and get some supplies? How do you wanna handle it? Yeah, I think we've lost some firepower and some muscle. And if we're gonna be doing something kind of dangerous, we probably need something to help us maybe be a little bit more offensive or I don't know, something to eat or maybe just something to protect ourselves a little bit. So I'm thinking we should talk to Gratic in the meantime, 'cause we've kind of lost some ranks.

What does everybody else think? I agree. Good, smart words. I do too. We don't wanna head on the road unprepared. Yeah, I mean, I think we're fine for a while, but we're starting out on a big trek that could lead to some dangerous stuff. And it just feels like we need to be prepared. Hey, Jason. Yes. What kind of horses? Like big ones? Okay, that's a good point. He's one of those freckles. A very large. Yeah. Okay, firstly, I'm gonna answer that question. I honestly thought you were gonna jump in. What kind of horse shit is that? I thought you were just gonna flip the table and be done with this.

I don't know why that's my default. Apparently I'm just a very aggressive person in your eyes. Like you've never given me anything to think that that's something that you do. Well, one of them is gonna be one of the larger horses just for Cory's sake. Now, Cory doesn't weigh all that much, but she is a taller individual and that's kind of something that's standard. So you guys will not be racing anywhere if you want Cory to keep up with you. But the horse is gonna be okay. Yeah, oh yeah, you're not gonna like snap its back or anything. I don't wanna smush it.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'd never set you up with a horse that you were just gonna murder. Sure. Wow. Or like a unicorn, for example. That was not my fault and I take no responsibility for that one. Fair. I take 100% responsibility. That was a bad idea. That's a nightmare. So, all right, so we're set up with horses. Yeah, I mean, I think we need to talk to, if Grattik can help us out. I don't know who else to talk to in Brightport, but what's Grattik's, just remind me, what's Grattik's position right now? Like where, he's affiliated with Tessia. Yes. Right? He's, so Grattik was a dude with a lot of fingers and a lot of pies.

And then Tessia took power and now he's sort of stretching out a little bit more because while he's not untouchable, he has a lot more influence and a lot more protection. Now, obviously Silverclaw kind of still wants him dead. So he's still working with that situation. And that's his biggest hurdle right now. But he owns the Rusty Nipple and he owns the Filigree Faun. And he doesn't, he has no stake technically in House Dragonkeeper or anything like that, but he is very, very close to Tessia. So yeah. So you guys would have gotten some sleep and it would now be the fourth day of Thorim.

So you are rested, you have all your powers back. You are, you guys are doing pretty well. So would Grattik be working? I mean, would he just be there at the shop? He normally is, yeah. Okay. I mean, everybody, I feel like we should just go talk to him and get on the road. Like if we're gonna do this, we need to get going basically. We don't have a whole lot of time to waste. I agree. What time of day is it? Oh, this would be early morning. You guys are just getting started for the day. Okay. Then we don't wanna waste the hours that we have, you know. No morning yoga today?

Got it. No, there's always time for a little yoga and meditation. It only takes 10 minutes, Galuno. Okay. Yeah, let's, I mean, I say we just go ahead and take care of it. I mean, like I said, what we need is either some protection or something that can be offensive. Like if we needed to have some firepower or something like that, we just don't, we don't have what we used to, but we gotta keep going. So, so let's go to Grattik's. Woo. So walking over to the Philly Great Fawn, everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check. It's been so long. Good. Hmm. 27.

Hmm. Ha ha, you're gonna have third too. Okay, Merrick, Colleen, and Cory are gonna notice that the streets are not really packed at all. That probably has something to do with the time of day 'cause it's pretty much just dawn. You guys are getting an early start. Obviously, time is of the essence. That's been said several times. You know what you gotta do. So along the way, you are going to, you're gonna see the usual riffraff in Brightport and thugs, thieves, killers, that potential, you know, but no one who looks on the up and up for the most part. And most of that has to do with the section of town you're walking through.

This is kind of the lower quarter. This is where you're poverty-stricken, you're huddled masses. That's where a lot of them in Brightport tend to congregate. So you're gonna approach the Filigree Faun, and Merrick and Cory are gonna notice that near the shop's entrance are two larger drow men. And they're just almost like bouncers at a nightclub. They're just sort of standing there. - Are they specifically, do they seem connected to the Filigree Faun, or are they just kind of hanging out close by? - Oh, they look, they almost look like they're working there.

- Okay, okay. And like, this is Don, right? So this is maybe a little bit early for him to open up shop, right? Maybe, but he's probably around. - You can see that lights are on inside. - I mean, I think we should just pay attention. Maybe Merrick's gonna sort of look at Cory and kind of like, you know, watch yourself kind of a look. Like, what's all this about? But let's just go on in. Let's just kind of take it in stride. - Anyone disagree with that? - If we walk in like we own the place, maybe they'll just let us pass. - Well, I mean, if we're business people and customers that we're trying to go into a place that seems to be open, then we're not doing anything wrong, and we're not being covert.

- That's true, yeah. - So let's just go into the place of business, and we'd like to buy some stuff, potentially. - So opening the door, these two men are just going to look at you, but not make any motion to stop you, or question you or anything like that. They're just gonna kind of side-eye you and watch you walk into the fawn. And the second you open the door, you're gonna hear a little chiming sound from this bell. You're gonna see Graddock standing behind the counter, like he normally does. And he's gonna give you a look the second you walk in. Do me a favor, roll perception for me.

- 32. - Wow, wow, okay, so everyone, man, you are a perceptive bunch. - So when the drought put us on the edge. - Now that Jadzi is gone. - Yeah. (laughing) - Because that pulled us down like a sandbag. (laughing) - That Jadzi of Valis anchor. - Seriously, I feel like, I really feel like we're gonna have a really good session, everybody. Now, finally. (laughing) - So, right off the bat, you're gonna see, you're gonna see him perk up. None of this is, kind of, there's kind of a trace of like, he's excited to see you, and then immediately followed by, oh yeah, you.

Like, there's kind of a cross between the two things. And he's gonna motion for you to walk in and shut the door. Like, he's like, violent hand motion, like come on, come on, come on, come on. - Okay, I think Merrick would just sort of look behind, like is anybody following us or something? Something seems kind of weird. Hi, Grattic. You're open, right? You're open for business? Everything okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just come on up to the camera, come on. - All right, should we make sure the door's closed pretty tightly and all that kind of stuff? It just, something seems not right at all.

- Oh, closing the door would be great. - Yeah, I mean, closing the door and like, secure, like, okay, checking it real quick. Um, yeah, and then just right up to the counter. What's, uh, what's going on? Who are your friends? - All right, firstly, Tessia told me what you need, fine. We'll sort that out. But did you happen to deal with the serif problem yet? - There's been a lot of stuff going on, no. Serif, no. - What do you mean, no? - Nothing's been dealt with, I mean. - I thought that's what you were supposed to be doing. - Yeah. All right, um, a lot of stuff's been going on since we saw you last, Gratic.

Serif is important, I'll give you that. I understand there's some stuff going on, but we have something that's in focus for us right now. That's gotta be on the back burner. - Are you serious? You, okay. Where's the paladin? - 'Cause she made a deal with Ulanda to bring Serif in, and they're kind of expecting him now-ish. - Merrick's gonna be sort of waving his hand as he's saying all of that and closing his eyes, like, yeah, we gotta put it aside, we gotta put it aside. Una's not here. Una's off doing something else. You don't have to worry, number one, that she's around, and number two, yeah, it means that some things have been put on the back burner.

- So we gotta focus, Gratic, and I'm sorry, I know that things put you in a bad position. We don't really have a whole lot to do with that ourselves. So you're kinda on your own right now. I'm sorry, but we got other stuff to deal with. - He's gonna rub his eyes, just take off his glasses, and he's exasperated by this. And there's gonna be, he's just, he's thinking it over, and he's sort of looking outside, or looking toward the door. - All right. Well, those guys out front and back, I don't know if you've been out back yet, are making sure I don't leave, so that's a problem.

- Leave the filigree like you can never, like your own house arrest? - I'm allowed to go home, but that's it. - Are you in danger? I mean, I know they're keeping you sort of safe, but, or safe, you know what I mean? They're keeping an eye on you, but do you need protection, Gratic? Do you need some help? - Honestly, I don't think there's anything you can do about this. I'll work on it with Tessia, just what do you need? - Well, that was my first suggestion is, if you're in contact with Tessia, which you clearly are, talk to her, you know, no matter how much she deals with you in different ways, and we all sort of deal with you in different ways, she cares about you, you're important.

So talk to Tessia, she'll take care of you, there's no question about it. Speaking of Tessia, yeah, we need some stuff. You don't need to know all the details, it doesn't matter, but like I said, Una's not here. We've lost some of our firepower, we've lost some of our offensiveness, and he's gonna kind of smirk at that. But we've got a bit of a journey ahead of us, and it might be dangerous, we don't know what's gonna happen, but we need a couple of things. We either need to protect ourselves a little bit better, or we also need to be able to be a little bit more, I don't know, damage-y in a way.

What can you do for us? Well, normally I could just set you up with a new guy. I know a few people down at the docks, but I'm running a little low in favors right now. I honestly, Graddick, don't want one of your friends involved with us right now, please, just, we've got a plan, we know what we're gonna do, but we need a little bit of help. And I know that you're working with Tessia, but give us the best you got. We can make sure this is right for you, okay? So you're looking for weapons? Weapons and protection. Anything that maybe has a little bit of a boost to it?

All right. Let me see what I got, give me five minutes. He's gonna hop down off his little stool here and start to rummage around. There's a little back room here just behind the counter. Well, you know he's not gonna run out, that's a good sign. But you're gonna hear him rummaging around. - Kallen is just gonna admire all the shinies on the wall. - Corey, do you feel like there's something we need? I mean, I don't know what to ask him except for just protect ourselves and hurt other people if we need to. - I wouldn't object to him possibly giving us a name of someone that he might know needs a little extra cash and can hit hard.

- Maybe it's not a bad idea. First thing I think is not wanting to hook up with one of Graddick's friends, but if we need somebody, we need somebody. - It's all gonna depend on what he has for us. - So this is gonna take just a bit, but he is gonna come back holding a small box and he is going to very gently climb up that stool and then very gently sit this on the counter. - I like it already. - All right, I've sort of been saving these for a while and I may not get a chance to use them or sell them. So Tessia promised me that she would reimburse me for whatever you guys take this time.

And he's going to lift the lid on this box and you're gonna see a set of six small explosives. You can tell these are explosives 'cause they have fuses and they're packed very neatly in straw. - So something flammable, great. - Luna's gonna look real uncomfortable. - Merrick is going to, he's gonna do the thing that mothers do whenever their child is in the front seat and they're about to put on the brakes and they put their hand and their arm across the person's chest. He's gonna do that to Kaluna. Like back off, back off. - Yeah, Kaluna's gonna definitely take a step back like, nope, no thank you, I'm good.

- Explosives, so what kind of damage are we talking here? I mean, is this anything special about these or is it just boom? - I'm told, I've actually never tried them out, but I am told that these are the strongest explosives that you can get legally. - Kaluna's gonna take another big step back. - Merrick's going to lean forward with his hands on the counter and look gratic right in the eye and not threateningly. He's not intimidating him. He's just being very almost like he's getting quieter. He's gonna say, how about illegally? - He's gonna squint his eyes.

How illegally? - How illegal can you go, Gratic? We need everything we can get. - Gratic's gonna give a little smile. All right, now you're talking. And he's gonna start to kind of rub his hands together and he's going to grab this box and just sort of sling it under his shoulder and then jump down off of the... - It's no longer take care of it. - No, he is just gonna kind of jump down and then you're gonna hear him walk to the back and just sort of like toss these up on a shelf. And then he's going to wander back out onto the showroom floor, so to speak.

And he is going to move the stool over and sort of reveal that there's a small trapdoor underneath of that. And then he is going to pull out a very small locked chest. And he's gonna call out to Merrick, you wanna give me a hand with this? - Yeah, Merrick will do whatever it takes to help. - And he is going to, he's gonna with the help of Merrick lift it up and then climb up onto a stool and put that on the counter. Now this chest is basically a replica of what a full like treasure chest would be, but on a like a one quarter scale. This thing is made of solid iron, it is reinforced and it's heavy as shit.

- I like this better. - So he is going to pull out a key from his pocket. That key is actually, there is a chain that is in his pocket that is connected to it. And he has to sort of lean up just a bit to reach the lock and he's going to turn this key. And there's gonna be a loud thud as this chest opens. And he is with a bit of heft, he is going to lift the lid here. Inside there are several balls and they are for the most part, they look to be a mixture of glass and then sort of like a metal band wrapped around them. And you can see a greenish liquid inside sort of sloshing around.

- All right, so what have you got, Graddick? - All right, you remember I was telling you before about those explosives? Okay, forget about them. These can knock down whole buildings, they're just gone. It's kind of considered a war crime to use them, but. - Wait, where are you going? - Hmm? - Where are you going? Why do you need these? - Well, where we're going and what we need to do may be on the verge of war crimes, we don't know. But the point is, this is what we're talking about, Graddick. - Okay, two things. One, don't use them around any dragonborn. Two, don't use them around any elves.

- What's the reason for that? - Yeah, why? - Well, to make these, you sort of need certain ingredients from both of their homelands, which they would not appreciate you using, and just don't use it around them. It's just very much, it's just easier not to involve them. And you can tell he's actually worried. Like there's a tone in his voice that like, at the very least don't tell him you got them from me. - Graddick, we are grateful. This is Merrick now going into diplomacy mode. Graddick, we have been grateful for everything you have ever done for us. We would never betray your trust.

So don't even worry about that. - And you could like, he's listening to you and he's like, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, no. Like he doesn't buy that really at all. - How many are in here? How many we have here, these little balls? - He's going to reach out and pick one up to move it aside so we can count. Do me a favor, roll a perception check. - 31. - Okay, you're going to notice his hand shakes as he reaches out to pick one up and he is going to very, very gingerly pick this up and then lift it up and then move it to the side and sit it back down and kind of nestle it in between two other ones.

And you're going to see him count up five. There's five in total and trust me, you should not need more than that. - All right, so five, that should be five buildings worth, that's not too bad. And what do you do? Do you just throw them? Do you, how do you set these things off? The other ones have fuses, gotta light something. Is this different? - Yeah, you just kind of huck them at the thing you don't want them to be anymore and that's it. That's- - Perfect. Question, if we were to, let's say I'm just gonna throw this somewhere and try to destroy the building you're talking about, what are the chances that we'd be in the blast zone?

- I would back up a lot. - Okay, all right, so we gotta make sure we're, that's easy. - Kaluna's going to just hold a hand to their head like, oh no. - We got this, this is perfect. This is exactly what we're looking for. Okay. - I think at this point, Kory's gonna sort of go up to the counter with like her back to Graddock and get Merrick and say, I don't feel comfortable having this within our party at all. - Kaluna's going to shake their head very vigorously, like, no, no. - There's a huge difference between killing your enemy and destroying everything that they are.

We don't need to do that, we just need to get to where we're going. And she's gonna sort of like look over her shoulder at Graddock, but she's like paying him no mind. - Merrick's gonna close his eyes and do, and just sort of let out a big sigh. Okay, he's gonna look at Kory and just kind of nod his head a little bit. And he's gonna lift up his hand with just his index finger pointed, like how about one? You never know. - She'll look really hesitant and sort of like make eyes at Kaluna 'cause she knows that we feel the same. - About this, so she's gonna sort of like look to see.

- Kaluna's going to sort of cross their arms and just glare very sternly at Merrick and just sort of hope it works. Otherwise they're not going to actively stop him, but they are clearly not happy. - Okay. - And it's pretty apparent. - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. - How about we get the legal ones? - The legal ones aren't even a thing. We're better off. (laughing) - It sounds like you're arguing over her fireworks. - Yeah, basically. - It's not even worth the money. - I don't want sparklers, Kory. - Yeah. If we're gonna get anything, it's not worth just getting sparklers.

Look, we don't need five of these things, but I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know where we're going. And if all of this stuff is, you know, on the up and up, we may be facing some stuff that we're not used to facing. I'd rather have something at least possible to use if we needed it. I get it though. I completely understand. This is not something to take lightly, but what if we just take one? - Kaluna's just a guest, really. We just got rid of fire in a bottle. We don't want more. - Look, we've lost a lot of our firepower right now. We don't have anybody that can cause a lot of damage, especially from a distance.

This would at least give us a fighting chance if we came up against something that we aren't prepared for. - Kaluna's going to look at Gratic. Do you have anything with less fire? A lot less fire, preferably none. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. Merrick's gonna hold up his hands and then turn back to Gratic. Okay, this isn't gonna work, unfortunately. Merrick's gonna be sort of gritting his teeth as he says this, 'cause I think he's worried about what's about to happen. He doesn't know, but he's concerned. - If you absolutely feel like this is a necessity to our group, then we'll do it.

You will be the one who carries it. - I would carry it. - And you'll be the one responsible if it drops and poor Kaluna's bark is spread all across Etherea. - You're right, you're right. You're completely right. I'm worried, I'm concerned, and I don't know what we're gonna be facing. I just wanna make sure we have a fighting chance. Gratic, this isn't gonna work, I appreciate it. Your secret is safe with us. Maybe we need to put a little bit more money into defense in case we do come across something that we're not prepared for. And I know you said you don't have any favors, but maybe we do need to find somebody who can help us.

Can you call any favors in? Do you have anybody? - We have money. - Well, he's gonna perk up. - I mean, I have money and I'm willing to pay for a tank. - What would it take, Gratic? If we can't take something like this as firepower, then we're gonna need at least something or somebody. What would it take? - The big one. She said she has money. - Kaluna will also jingle their own coin pouch, like, "Uh-huh, yep, money. We like avoiding explosions." (laughing) - Merrick's gonna sort of do the, he's gonna be very uncomfortable, like someone's pulling out their iPhone in a bad part of town.

(mumbles) Away, away. - Kaluna's gonna look confused, but they'll stop. - Here's what you do. You're gonna leave the shop to the front door. You're gonna keep walking. You're gonna take a left at the end of the street and then just keep going to the docks. Now there's a bar, and once you find it, if you talk to anyone there that would actually take you up on your offer, I get a finder's fee. That's the best I can do. - That's completely fair, Gratic. Is there anything else you have for defense? Anything with a little bit of oomph to it? - You know, I just offered you something with oomph for a desperate party, you're kind of picky.

- Ugh. - Something with oomph, but not boom. - I'm not working with much right now, okay, Gratic? So we appreciate your help. If that's the best you can do. - Well, if you change your mind, they're still here, but a little restricted in what I can do right now. I'm sort of being watched. - I got you. What's your finder's fee? - I get 40%. - Korial, head right up to the counter and stick her hand out and say, "Deal." - He will vigorously put his tiny hand in yours. - Kaluna will also walk up to the counter and they'll pull out their amber paperweight that they took out, or that they took last time, and they'll set it on the counter.

How much? - Um, he's, okay. You know what, let's see, let's see if he notices. Did you steal that from me? - Kaluna's going to look really confused. We got it last time. You remember you were mad? - When you stole it from me. - You gave it to her. - Kaluna's going to like cross their arms and just sort of tilt their head like, "No, we were supposed to take things. They're clearly not malicious, just genuinely confused." - Okay, so that's the thing. He remembers last time as just looting, essentially. You guys just looted, that's all it was. He's just exasperated right now.

The thing is not worth all that much right now. Just take it, go, get away from me, just please go. - Kaluna's going to let out a huff like, "We were trying to be good and now he's mad. People are weird, this is bullshit." And they're just going to angrily take it back and just stomp back to the door. - So just to clear things up for my own edification, you have no intention of dealing with this whole seraph thing in the immediate. - Kaluna's going to puff at him like, "No, fuck you." (K Kaluna sneezes) - Graddick, we tried to deal with seraph. It's complicated and we haven't seen him.

We lost him, he's gone. That's not to say that it's not on the list, but it is to say that we've got another focus right now. It can't be something that's immediate, but we'll do what we can, okay? We haven't forgotten. - Okay, so at the very least, he doesn't know that you were looking for him, right? That Silverclaw wasn't looking for him? He doesn't know. - I can't remember what happened. He knows everything, right? - He does. - Yeah. You know what, Graddick? No, he doesn't know. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know anything. I think you're okay for now. - Do me a favor, roll a buff check.

- 25. - That'll, yep. Okay, Graddick's gonna buy that. - Was that a bad move? - We'll see. All right, at least he doesn't know. Okay, so I just gotta deal with Silverclaw. I think me and Tessia can sit down and reason with those people. At least the kill crazy maniac isn't gonna be gunning for me too. So. - I feel so bad. - You'll be fine, you'll be fine. - Stop making it worse, Jasper. - I can't remember, did Seraph know that we were doing it because of Graddick or that Graddick was involved? I legitimately don't remember. - Oh, well that's the thing though. He'll be able to trace it back to.

- Oh, okay. - Like, okay, if someone in Brightport ratted him out, who's it gonna be? - Well. - It would not take a genius to figure that out. - Rest in peace, Graddick. We loved you. (laughing) - Okay, so. - On the bright side, we may not have to pay him 40% if he's dead when we get back. - That's true. - True facts. - Hey, I got what I wanted. (laughing) - I'm a silver line kind of gal. - Don't not haggle with me. You get killed. All right, so fine. Thanks for the lead. Of course, your finder's fee is in place. And we'll talk to you later, Graddick. - He's kind of stroking his chin, just kind of like adding everything up, like, okay, okay.

Like you could tell he's kind of, he's still kind of worried about the entire situation. He was sort of waiting for word back from you guys and now that's completely fallen through. So now he's gonna buy more time, but that's on him. All right, again, if you change your mind about the bombs, they're here. But again, don't tell anybody. - No, no, no, no worries. - We're not getting bombs. Kaluna's just like whispering to Merrick, we're not getting them. We're not. - And he's pretty much just gonna kind of shoo you away from the counter. - Fine, fine, fine.

All right, thanks Graddick. Be safe. - What would everyone like to do here? - He said turn left, right? - Yeah. - Go to the end of the street, turn left. - Go to the docks. You know, let's go to the docks. If we're gonna be doing this kind of crap, we can't, we gotta get somebody. We gotta get people, right? - Yes. I think really that's probably our best option. - Okay. I don't like finding randos at a dock to help us with something as important as this. I'll be honest. Especially since we don't even know what we're gonna be facing, but if that's what it takes, that's what it takes.

- Well, I mean, these randos, as you call them, don't necessarily need to know everything. They don't need to know everything that's at stake. They just need to know the mission at hand, what we have to do. - All right. That's what henchmen are for. Okay, let's go to the docks. - And plus, I mean, if the whole world ends, then we won't have to pay anybody, so. - No, that's fair. That's a good point. That's actually great. That's a good idea. And if everything's fine at some point and you're actually a god, then maybe you could, there's some perks. - Perks to death god.

Wonder what that would entail. - You're the death god. You let me know. - You can throw sick parties. - You must get something out of it. - Deathly sick parties. - Nice. - I quit. - All right, let's go to the docks. - Said no one ever in a cheerful voice. - Let's go to the docks. - It's beautiful. The sunset, the sunrise. Yeah, I guess it is a sunrise over there. - Yeah. - The sunrise over the docks is beautiful. - I bet it is nice. - It's actually not bad. - Seagulls. - Does it smell like halibut? - It smells like a lot of things. It's gonna, you're gonna get, you know what?

Everyone do me a favor as you approach the docks, you're gonna walk for a while. Do me a favor, roll a perception check. - Please be perfect. Yes. - Yeah. - Yes. - You called that, hun. - Oh, nice. - Oh, I get to be descriptive. Good. - Well done for the listeners. That's two crits on smelling how bad the docks are. (laughing) - It really is true. Has anyone, I can't remember, has any group ever actually visited the docks of Brightport? The actual port of Brightport? - I don't think so. - I don't think so. - Jesus Christ, it's been almost like three and a half years.

- I hope there's fish mongers. - There's a lot of mongers. So you guys are gonna walk for a while and you're going to eventually get to the docks. Now, there are lucrative trade ventures going on at the docks that are completely on the board. They are completely legal and legitimate and that there are people sailing off to Drake Island to get different spices and herbs, things like that, and just materials that you can't get on the mainland. There are people who sail off to different continents and try to come back. It's rare that they actually do come back.

The ratio, even with designated trade routes, the ratio is about 50/50. So there are people doing that. Then there are smugglers and pirates and just the worst people. There are also people who wait for these lucrative trade ventures to go down and then just straight up rob people. That happens a lot. That's why you'll find a hell of a lot of two different kinds of people near the docks. There are the people who plan on doing horrible things to people and then there are the people, the shield hands, who will be hired by the weak, by the people who have a lot of money to guard themselves from the people who are willing to do harm to get money.

So it's a weird circle of life thing in Brightport. Now, what you're looking for is the latter. You're either looking for someone who is on the up and up and willing to help protect you guys for money or you're looking for someone who's gonna come cheap and is just so scummy and shady that they'll do anything for you for a buck. - Look for a big beefcake, yeah. - So when you get to these docks, first of all, you're gonna see a lot of really big ships. Brightport is the largest port in pretty much, in all of the mainland, first of all, but in almost all of Theria, that's one of the largest port cities out there.

Now, you're gonna see tons of people getting ready to set sail or people who are just coming in from a long voyage. So some of them look desperate and a lot of people have a smell about them. I'm gonna be honest, a lot of unshaven, just smelly people coming off this ship. And the pungent aroma of urine is gonna strike your nose. There are just people going out to fish, so you are gonna smell fish in the air too. Now, you're looking for a bar and it doesn't take you long to find one. There's actually one that is an old converted ship that's been turned into a bar.

Now, that is sort of dry docked on the thing. You can't miss this place. And as you approach, let me see, 32, 33, all of you are going to hear an explosion. And then you're going to see a body get cast sort of limply like a ragdoll, many feet away from where you heard that explosion. Now, the thing is, you're not going to see any fire or anything like that, but you will see a flash. What would you guys like to do? - Stop dead in my tracks probably immediately. Is this in the direction we were already headed? Like we're headed towards that bar and it's happening.

- This would be a short distance away from the bar, sort of across the street type of thing. So you got the bar and then this is a lot of narrow alleyways. And this is almost by design. But yeah, a lot of narrow alleyways and then this would be sort of across the street. You're gonna hear sort of what sounds like an argument or a scuffle, someone being harassed, and then you're going to hear that, see the flash, and then you kind of see someone just sort of get cast back out into the street and they're gonna land and not move. - Okay. Does it look like we can see the origin of a set of blast?

- It looks like it's coming from one of the narrow alleyways across the street. - Merrick's gonna look very, very hardcore at the body that came out and just to get an impression, like just anything about them, like their demeanor, or do they look scruffy and like a hooligan or do they look like a nice person that got robbed or something like that? - No, this does not look like a nice person. - Okay, so the body that came out and sort of landed is like, I don't know, just trying to get an impression. - Yeah, this dude looks more like the kind who has done bad things and would totally do things.

Again, like they does not look like the best person. Doesn't look like someone who could make it in one of the houses like Silverclaw or something like that. Not someone with a trade skill like they're a trained assassin or they just do bad things for money. They just, it looks like a petty thug to be honest. - Okay, all right, Merrick's gonna, I mean, how close is this? How close is the body? - This would be about 50 or 60 feet away from you guys. So, you know, plainly visible. - Yeah, all right, shoot, okay. Merrick's gonna go into cleric mode. He's gonna sort of run up to the body and just get a better impression.

Like is this person still alive? Is there any idea whether there's any help he can give without any other context? - Are you going to outright try to heal them or just check them out first? - Nope, just checking. - Check them out, okay. Do me a favor, roll a perception check for me. Okay, rolling this person over onto their back, it is apparent that they have at least a few broken ribs off the bat. So whatever hit him, it looks like it hit him somewhere in the sternum, somewhere in the midsection. - Okay. - They do appear to be breathing. - Okay. Having come over to the body, is there any better look into the alley to where this happened?

In other words, is there anything that Merrick can see from where he is that he couldn't see before? - Do me a favor, roll a perception check for that. - 25. - You are going to get a slightly better look down this alley. So you're gonna see midway in, not too deep. The way the shadows are kind of being placed, it's not noon yet, or you'd have a much better view. So it's kind of a darkened alley right now. And you're going to, everyone else, do me a favor, roll a perception check too. - Kaluna is still taking in the beautiful sights of the port. (all laughing) - They are just, they're so enamored in this grand new experience.

They're like, wow. - Kaluna's looking at the the amber paperweight still. - No, they're just like, oh, is that what a boat is? Holy shit. - Well, there is kind of a beautiful majesty. Well, it's weird. See, there's a beautiful majesty in Brightport because you will see stuff that you've never seen anywhere else because you'll see ships come in from all over Theria. And there is a bit of majesty to see the sun rise over the port and you'll see these huge ships come in and they're bringing in all kinds of goods and weapons and armor and spices and foods and things that you may have never seen before.

And then that'll sort of be marred by someone going, (imitates engine revving) and spitting several feet away or just openly urinating. - To Kaluna, that doesn't matter. - Right. - I think this is probably Kaluna's first time at any port, let alone this big port. And then it's like, oh, oh, and that person's spitting. Oh, okay. - No, that's basically what they do at ports. - They accept everything as normal. Even the dude flying out the alleyway, they were like, oh, okay. - That's a traditional greeting. - Yeah. - Let's see, Cory and Merrick are going to hear new activity.

You're gonna hear something metallic. It sounds like maybe it's ricocheting in the alley. That could be sort of an echo effect, but it sounds like someone dropping something metallic. And then you're gonna hear screaming from a man. And then you're gonna hear footsteps of this man's boots running. And you're going to see him start to leave the alleyway. And then you're gonna see another flash and sort of this red stream of light strike him from behind and push him further out into the street face first. And he's going to land with a thud and then not move.

- How far away is this from the other body, the first body? - Not far now. - Okay. - About 10 feet away from the original body. This other guy does not appear to be, does not appear to be any better looking than the other guy in terms of being on the straight and arrow. - Gotcha. - Curiosity is a sort of a vice, of course. So she's just going to go to see what is in the alley. Hesitantly. She's not just gonna be like, do do do do do, hey, who's in here? You know, but she's like from where they are behind the bodies, she's gonna go to an area where she'll be able to see all the way down the alley.

- So like sort of, sort of sidle up on the wall near the alley and then like peek in? - Kinda, yeah. - Okay, so do me a favor. Firstly, roll a stealth check. - The giant goliath, this is her strong suit. Yeah. - That isn't too bad. It isn't amazing. Now do me a favor, roll a perception check. - Yeah. - Okay. One more thing, do me a favor, roll a history check. - Did you say nature check? - I see. - I, that's what I heard. I heard nature. - You know what? - That's what I heard too. - You know what? No, this is gonna be history. - History? - I fought for you in my head and I'll tell you why in just a moment.

- All right, I'll be stupid history. - Yay, I got a Christ. - See, that all worked out. Okay, well, first of all, Corey is not gonna be the stealthiest figure in the world and her head is going to peek out around this corner and she's fairly noticeable, but what she's going to spot is what appears to be a fairly young teenage girl in the alleyway, standing alone, sort of facing the entrance of that alleyway and there's gonna be a bit of a red glow coming off of her hands. You aren't gonna be able to see her face because her hair is sort of obscuring it a bit, but what you can see of her skin tone and facial features is gonna lead Corey to believe that she's a Githseri, which is very rare on the mainland.

They mostly come from the island of Talor. The other thing that's gonna happen immediately after that is this little girl is going to look up and you're gonna see that same red glow kind of coming from her eyes and she is going to spot Corey. - This is kind of like breathing a little heavy 'cause she just expended a bit of energy and she's kind of just gonna stare at Corey and her demeanor is kind of, there's a certain level and she's not even trying to hide it of, you want some too? She thinks that you're here for the same reason, even though you came separately.

She's kind of got an idea of what this place is about and she's kind of challenging you with her eyes. She's still ready to fight if you're going to try to fight her. - So Jason, glowy hands, glowy eyes, would Corey recognize this being that she has- - I would say that that is a two plus two equals four situation for Corey. - I'm sure Thanatos literally just used the same powers that you've seen. - Yes. - Right. So she's just gonna, she'll see the look that this little lady is giving her and she's putting two and two together that this person is a scion and she's just gonna have a very genuine smile creep across her face 'cause it's reminding her of her good friend Dagon.

- See, that's just suspicious. - I said genuine, not creepy. Even genuine, like in Brightport. When she realizes you aren't going to attack, she does look confused, genuinely and truly like, what the fuck, but then she's going to lower her hands and her eyes are gonna fade from the red that was covering them to a golden, like a bright golden color and she's just gonna turn to face you. She's gonna be like, can I help you? - So is she no longer like in attack mode? She's like legit? - She's not, she's a little bit hesitant. Like she genuinely looks like weirded out that you're smiling at her, but she's not ready to attack anymore.

- She'll still have sort of the smile and it's a bit, like I said, genuine, but also sort of sentimental and she'll look back at the two gentlemen on the floor or ground and she'll just say, it looks like you can handle yourself, but I just wanted to come make sure everything was all right. I, me and my friends heard quite the commotion. - Quick question. What would Merrick's reaction be to this? Like just Corey taking off and going to investigate? - I mean, I think that's fine. I think he would be worried. He would be very aware of we're in not a good section of town and basically just like, don't go off by yourselves.

Like they'd stick together, but this isn't too far away. And I think Merrick is starting, is putting together the people who just got rammed out of that alley and are falling on the ground. They don't look like they're good people necessarily. So either there's somebody who's not a good person in that alley, which is, who's pretty powerful or they kind of deserved it. So I don't think he's too worried about it, to be honest. Corey can handle herself. I mean, I think he would be kind of coming up to where Corey is, but I don't know. I think it seems reasonable at this point.

- What about Kelowna? Is Kelowna still just kind of checking out the dock or is? - Yeah, Kelowna is very much just like sort of investigating. They're like taking everything in and they might every now and then sort of look over at a person like, oh, I want to talk to you, but that's probably a bad idea. - I think Merrick would, you know, once Corey is sort of, Merrick's keeping his distance. Corey's going to take care of, you know, whatever Corey can take care of. And eventually whenever it seems like Corey's okay and maybe like conversing with somebody, I think Merrick would kind of grab Kelowna's hand or something and just pull and just say like, come on, let's go make sure she's okay.

- Yeah, Kelowna would start paying attention then like, oh, oh, okay. - Yeah, like something's going down. I don't know what it is, but something's going down. - So are they, like, can I see Kelowna and Merrick now? - I would say, yeah. - Okay. - Is the opposite true? - Yes, oh yeah, yeah. - If she could see you, you could see her. Who's your friend, Corey? - Kelowna's going to prick up like, oh, friends. - Corey looks sort of back to see the parties there and she'll look towards the girl in the alley again and say, I'm not sure yet. The Ghisri is going to like kind of look over the three of you and try, kind of like try to size everyone up.

And when she realizes that you pretty much aren't a current threat, she will, she'll just keep her body steady, not ready to fight. But you know, like horse position in karate where like you're grounded. - Does she look childlike maybe like even vaguely? - Actually like kind of extremely, like she looks very young. - Okay, good, okay, good. Kelowna's going to start bouncing and sort of, I imagine Merrick is still like holding on to their hand sort of from dragging them over. So they're just sort of like, they're kind of tugging on it a little bit, but they're just bouncing and they're clearly like, they're like, oh my God, oh my God, a small, a small person, oh my God, oh my God.

Just grinning, just huge. - Merrick's not letting go by the way. He's actually holding on tighter. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - From what I know about Kelowna, I don't even think Kelowna would realize that male or female because there's no hips, no action there. - I mean, that doesn't matter to Kelowna. - Think of already a preteen girl and then just stretch them out a little bit more. Move a little bit. - Yeah, Kelowna just sees child, oh my God, you need a hug, child, child, child, child, that sort of thing. Like a dog. - Santos will step back and put her fist back up.

- Yeah, Merrick's going to do whatever he can. Just wait, we don't know what's going on. We don't know what's going on, okay? Just cool your jets. - Kelowna will sort of like lower their head a little bit and like take a step back, but keep bouncing. Not like, not purposely like, I'm going to keep doing this, fuck you. But just sort of like, they can't help it. - Yeah, right. Do me a favor actually, for this gifts or I girl, do me a favor, roll a history check. - Who? - The little girl. - Okay. - Oh, me, okay. - Yeah. You would not know what Kelowna is. - So walking, talking tree cat.

- Yes. I got that much. - It's as much as marriage. - We're just a bunch of freaks to you, man. You have no idea who any of us are. - I actually imagine like, would I even have to roll for like humans? - Humans are pretty much like, they're on every continent. - Where I live they were kind of common too. That was me. - Yeah, they're huge on the mainland though. They're everywhere on the mainland, but they're on every continent, sprinkled throughout. So there are on Talor. - Yeah, they're like cockroaches. - And like the mainland, it's like the New York. - Kind of, yeah.

They're not even the most dominant species or race on the mainland either, which we found out a long time ago, but yeah. - Santos will kind of just, again, just eyeballing them, but thankfully Merrick held back Kelowna. So again, her fists kind of go down, but this time not as much. And then sizing up the party, like would I be able to tell by looking at them that they are travelers? Like they don't really belong in this area from what I know about this area. - Insight? - Not insight. That would be more of a streetwise. - Oh, that's not fair. 21. - I would say that judging on what this little girl has seen so far, that this particular group of individuals looks to be a bit more outfitted.

Like they're clearly wearing armor and weapons and they kind of keep their possessions on their back. Whereas you see a lot of people who are just out in street clothes and little to no armor or like leather armor, something like that. And the petty little knives and stuff that these people are gonna rob you with just a moment ago. So you would see that these few people are sort of a cut above that. - Right. - She's still sort of sizing everyone up. Realizing this, the girl's going to look up to Merrick, who seems to be in control, but then also kind of to Kory, like kind of looking between the three of you, but she's already kind of guessing that Kaluna might be a child.

No offense. Just the reactions. - Accurate, accurate assessment. - So she's kind of like switching between the two and then her eyes will kind of hover towards, more to Kory, 'cause Kory is weird looking like her, whereas like humans are everywhere and Kaluna's tree. - Are you travelers? - We are. Yourself? - Recently. Where are you headed? - Well, right now I think we should probably head out of this alley. We don't want to draw any more attention. She's gonna look back towards Merrick and Kaluna. Do either of you know anywhere nearby where we could sorta duck out?

Is there a crowd? - There's a bar across the street. - Well, I mean, you just throw two dudes. I feel like that would cause a little attention. - It is Brightport though. - Yeah, that's true. People might just walk by. Merrick's going to, let me think here. Yeah, let's get out of the alley. Why don't we go to the bar across the street? Just chat for a second. It doesn't matter the whole point. - Yeah. - They didn't know about Ariel's photos. - Did you see what I just did? I can do whatever I want. - Who's gonna stop me? - She'll kind of like pause for a second and think it over and then lower her fist completely and kind of relax her stance and give like one solid nod.

And then she'll start walking over to the bar. - Okay, we have, okay. The bar nearest to you is called Safe Haven. There was a bar a little bit away called the Rusty Nipple. That is... - Which one's the one with the dry docked ship? - Oh, that's gonna be Safe Haven. - Yeah, we should go to Safe Haven. Also the name is Safe Haven. - Nipples. - We can do like a Brightport crawl. - But first let's go to Safe Haven 'cause that sounds like a safe haven. - Fun fact, Brightport has the highest amount of bars per capita in any city in Daria. - Really? I never would have thought.

- Amazing. - Kaluna is all in favor of going to the cool ship bar though. - Yeah, I wanna see the ship bar. - 'Cause that can wait. - Or it's like, I come on. - But let's go to Safe Haven. Yeah, let's go on. Merrick's gonna look at Corey and kind of lean in and be like, that's what we need. Talking about this girl. That's what I'm looking for. - She'll keep her eyes on the girl and she'll just say, I found that scions are quite useful in a sticky situation. Let's see if she would be interested. - No shit. - Can I hear them? - I'm gonna let the little girl roll a perception check, but it would have to be pretty high to pick up on it.

- Okay. By the way, I still had the lowest perception despite training and perception this time. That really gets my guilt. - Yeah, this is not cool. - You don't have the natural gift. Zing. - Maybe we can find you a cloak of perception or something somewhere. - Some really cool goggles. - That you have to wear. - Right. - Oh, you could have like the Digimon style goggles. You know how all their protagonists have the stupid goggles. - They never wear them, so it's not really helpful. - I always wonder what the fuck they were for. - They wore them like once or twice.

- It's to keep their stupid hair up. Okay. So yeah, she's not gonna pick up on this. - I don't pick up on that at all. - Nope. - Okay, so. - We were doing so well as a perceptive party. - Now we're back. - All right, let's go like set up shop at a table somewhere or something like that. But is there any, is this the kind of bar that would have like food and anything like that? Like a, or is it just? - It does. - Oh boy. - Okay. - It's covered in poo. - Walking in here, do me a favor, roll a perception check everyone. - Do we need it? - Yes. - I think it's gonna be obvious.

- Ha, fuck you guys. - Merrick is focused on something else. He's focused on the scion, 'cause he's got an 18. - The scion's focusing on the fucking food. - Balloon is passing everywhere. Very distracting. - See, I can do a good perception roll. - Proud of you. - Well, you're gonna walk in here and, there are gonna be a lot of locals already at the bar and I will caution you to remember that it is early in the morning. Not only is this bar open, but it is packed. There are a couple of tables open, but you will be hard pressed to find one in a corner or something like that.

So if you do sit down, you should probably keep your voice down a little bit. The second thing you're gonna notice is there's a smell. Something's cooking. I would say that you might wanna throw quotation marks around the word food. There's something. It smells like some sort of meat, byproduct of some sort cooking in a cauldron somewhere, maybe in the back. You're also gonna see a very portly man behind the bar. With sort of like long scraggly hair, covering up a lot of his face, just sort of like a moppy, just a moppy do. And he's gonna have this nasty set of patchy mutton chops that sort of run down his face and kind of form a beard, but with no connection between the two.

- Beautiful. Fashion. (laughing) Bright. - Flynn will sort of sniff at the air and like, hmm. - Yeah. - Hmm. - It's something else. That is a thing. Wow, that is a smell. Okay, Merrick, as soon as this happens, does Merrick notice this? I mean, he's got an 18. - Merrick would notice the smell. - Okay. - And he would notice the general vibe of the place and stuff like that. It's not as detailed as the rest of the group. So he'll go like, "Well, this is packed with scumbags." That kind of thing. But not that the detail, everyone, it's gonna hit everyone else like a wave.

They're gonna notice that a lot of people stop talking when you guys walk in. 'Cause again, you don't look like everyone else. You are not a local. Your clothing isn't tattered. You don't have that look of desperation and hunger in your eyes. - You're a tree. - Yeah, you're a tree. Little things. You're a giant albino tiger woman. Like that kind of thing. That comes from being out of town. And a lot of the people in this place look like they could and would do anything to get ahead. So yeah. - Should we... - Kalenn will wait. - I imagine Fantos would just like walk straight in and then the first table she sees open, she's just gonna sit down and wait for you guys.

Like she'll cross her arms and lean back. - Fine. I was gonna say, let's go to the nipples. (laughing) - That's what I say every night. See, he doesn't appreciate it. - First thing in the morning is what I say. - See them nipples. - Let's go to the nipples. - Let's go. That sounds like a sportscaster. - And then I sliver my hand up. - Let's go to the big board and see some nipples. - Let's go to the nipple board. Let's go. - Looking nice and perky today. - A little chilly. In the morning. - Clearly a very chilly day today. (laughing) - Guys, those are great. - They are, aren't they?

- Yeah. - Anyway, good night everybody. - That's going into real somewhere. I don't know if that's outtakes. I don't know if that's behind the scenes. But that's going somewhere. - That's episode material if I've ever heard it. (laughing) Five minutes about nipple forecasting, I think. - It's gonna be nipply outside. - That should be a unit of measurement for Tucker check. - Wouldn't that be great? - All right, let's find, it's like, uh, vomitous, but fine. Let's sit down at the table with this new friend of ours. How early is it? I don't want, I feel like we need to order something, but I really don't want to order drinks for everybody.

- Whiskey. - Is it just the guy behind the bar or is there anybody else attending? - Oh, there is, this is not a swanky establishment. - I'm just checking to see if there's anybody walking around that we do. - Yeah, if you're waiting for someone to take your order, you're gonna be a while. Yeah. - Yeah, we can't just sit down at a, we gotta do something. All right, Merrick's gonna sit down, get settled for a second, then he's gonna get up and go talk to, to portly, moppy head guy. - Well, as you approach this counter, this dude is going to glare at you.

And you can tell he's kind of sizing you up again, out of town, sort of, just he's kind of waiting to see who you are and what your business is here. And as you approach the counter, what? - Merrick is going to be super ridiculously friendly. He's gonna say, he's gonna be like, with a smile and very, very warm. - Uh-oh. Hey, what have you got for breakfast? - And he is going to, he's not sure if you're being a sarcastic asshole. - No, no, no, I'm not being a dick. I'm just being-- - Right, but he's not sure. Like he's-- - Yeah, okay. I'm just saying, that's not my motivation.

- Right, no, no, I know, you're Merrick. But he's not, like, that's not traditionally how people interact with each other. So he's just got stew. - No, he's gonna be very gracious, grateful, and just say, can we get one large bowl of the stew to split between the table? Can we get one, two, three, can we get four spoons? Thanks. And he's gonna, he's gonna actually, no, he's gonna go ahead and put gold right in front of him. Like, he's not gonna wait to pay for it later. He's just gonna be like, whatever would be appropriate. Like, I guess, I don't know, probably five or six gold or something.

- Ah, you want drinks? - Just the stew for now. We'll be here for a little bit. So yeah, we'll probably come back on up. - Ah-hah. And he is going to sort of hobble away. Like, he has a nasty limp. So you're gonna hear his heavy boots kind of like stride across the floor, just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like, there's obviously like a little lopsidedness to the guy. And he is gonna go off to the side where there's this huge kind of cast iron pot with a small flame going underneath of it. And do me a favor, Merrick, and roll a perception check for me.

- 29. - The second that he takes the lid off of this pot, that smell is going to hit him tenfold. And it smells like, it smells like this may not be the freshest stew. - Mm, delicious. - And you're not sure what sort of noise this meat would have made when it was alive. - Ah, mm, mm. - So he is going to, he's gonna take a large bowl and just kind of start ladling this meaty slop into it and hobble back, like kind of slam the pot lid back down, and then hobble back to Merrick. And not so gently set the bowl back down on the bar. And then he is going to bend down and you can hear him start to rummage through metallic objects.

And he is going to lean back up and then drop five spoons on the bar of all different shapes and sizes. Some of them appear to be rusty, some of them appear to have like tiny, tiny holes in the actual spoon portion. And one of them, the handle of which, seems to have been sharpened to a point. - It's on the pointy spoon. - Damn it, I actually wanted that. - Yeah, steal it. Shiv, god. - Dude, I dare someone to keep that as their like backup weapon. - Yeah, seriously. - I wanna know how much damage it does. I wanna know all the stats. - We just got served shank soup, basically.

Okay, Merrick's gonna smile broadly and pick up the bowl and say, "Thank you, sir." And he's gonna put a couple of extra gold as a tip. Like, that's for you. His hand is going to come down on the bar heavily, almost like he's trying to get everyone's attention, but it's gonna come down on that little gold pile, almost as if he's trying to hungry, hungry hippo it before anyone else can grab it. And then he's going to drag his big meaty hand back across the bar, and you can hear the gold kind of jingling underneath of it. - Great, Merrick's just gonna just take it all in stride and go straight back to the table and put the stew right in the middle, and he's gonna be smiling, and through his teeth he's gonna say, "Don't touch this." (laughing) And he's gonna sit down.

- Kaluna's going to reach for the pointy spoon. - That's fine, yeah, grab a spoon, that's fine. But he's just gonna, "Don't touch this, don't eat it." - Kaluna's gonna eat it. - No, no, no, no, Merrick's gonna, no, Merrick's gonna just hold the wrist, just like, "No, no." - Kaluna's going to smack at his wrist with their other hand like, "Nope, nope." - He's smiling and staring at Kaluna. Nope, nope. - So this is all in an effort to not make a scene. - Right, no, it's a slight scene, but he's trying not to. - He's gonna pout like it's food. - Uh, Merrick, are we, is Merrick aware that there is any scene happening?

Is this becoming a thing, or is it just still- - If it goes on too much longer, yes. - Okay, let's just, he's just gonna say, "Nope, just Kaluna, let's just focus." - So here's a question, and this is just for my own edification. You guys, most of the party would have eaten fairly recently at Tessia's place, so she is not the type to not give you some sort of food and repack your rations and all that. The little girl, on the other hand, when would it have been since, when would she have eaten last? - I feel like it's been a while since before the trip, most likely, because she was, I don't wanna give shit away, but she was so wet.

- Okay, so that's for my own, okay, so we'll move on, and that'll, I just wanna make a mental note. - She's staring at the food kinda hungry. - Okay. - I mean, she has self-control, she's not just gonna pounce on it, but she's kind of like, "Fuck, I'm really starving." - So even this looks fairly appetizing. - Yes, at this point, she's like, "It's food." - Just my, okay, I'm just, that was just for me. Okay, so I- - Staring at the food as a slap fight happens across the table. (laughing) - Has Kaluna stopped? - No, absolutely not. - Has Kaluna ever stopped?

- Is Kaluna trying to eat the food? - Yes. - You know what, Merrick, because he doesn't want there to be a scene here, because the reason he's just trying to be all nice is 'cause he knows this is not okay, so he's just gonna stop and be like, "Okay, fine, okay, no, go ahead, go ahead." - Kaluna's going to sort of yank their hand back, "Yeah, yeah, that's right." - And they're going to get a spoonful of that. - No, enjoy. Right, enjoy your dysentery. It's gonna be great, you're gonna love it. - Do I need to roll something for eating this? - She needs to roll a death saving throw.

- Do me a favor. Kaluna, roll a perception check for me, just really quick. - I love it, I'm excited. 26. - Okay. This stew is interesting. (laughing) There are things in it that look like food, but not quite. Like, there are bits of things that look like some sort of meat, maybe not the freshest, but still meat. There are bits of things that look like sort of sopping wet bread that was just kind of put in there for texture or maybe some sort of flavor. The base of it is kind of a gloppy mashup of gravy and spaghetti sauce kind of thing going on. And in the center of it, there is something that looks like a giant pea, but it's gray.

- Hmm. - Okay. - Why didn't you nutritious me? - Barrick is just staring at Kaluna and he just sort of motions to the ball, like, there you go, enjoy. Kaluna's gonna sort of have a thoughtful look, just sort of like as they absorb all this. And they're going to look over at Maric, sort of clearly thinking like, not as good as Maric's food, but it is still food. So they're gonna, they might like poke at the pea every now and then, but they're gonna keep sort of like, just sort of sipping on the soup, not sort of like chips, just sort of like it's here.

- Okay. And when you poke at this pea, it's going to, here's the weird thing about this. It's buoyant, but sometimes strangely not. Like you poke at it and it'll disappear beneath the liquid and disappear for like, what seems like a small eternity, like 10 seconds and then just sort of boop and pop back up. - Oh my God, this is definitely a game for Kaluna now. - Okay. - Like, ooh. - Okay. - Okay. - So Maric is going to push the bowl towards Kaluna. Like go for it. This is gonna be great. - Stop trying to poison your friend. (laughing) - I'm just trying. - It's called tough love.

- You want to smoke cigarettes? I'll give you a whole carton. - Go ahead, touch the stove. - I can't wait until the endurance check later to not die. - So that's going on. - Rock solid. - So Kaluna's gonna go ahead and Kaluna's gonna sip and sort of nibble and sip at this stew. What would everyone else like to do here? Because you have a bit of business to discuss it with Sam. - Quick question, what does the average Githsarai meal look like? - Well, I mean, meat traditionally, although the Githsarai, so the Githsarai come from Talor and the other predominant race on Talor are the lion folk.

The lion folk eat a shitload more meat than the Githsarai do. There are a large amount of the Githsarai that are actually herbivores, they're vegetarians. - So nothing like this soup? - Oh God, no. Oh God, no. - I was gonna be like, if it's like at home, like maybe she'll just-- - No, not even close. No one should eat this. (laughing) - No species. - It's exotic cuisine. - No, no. - What's wrong with you people? - That chef put love and worth into this. - It's exotic, spelled with a Y. - Yeah. - At some point-- - It was spelled with a Z. - At some point, Merrick wants to look back at our barkeeper and sort of point at the bowl and then give him a thumbs up like, hmm, hmm.

- Or rubbing his tummy. - Yeah, I was gonna be like, yes, nice. - The guy's gonna look back kind of slack jawed. Like he always kind of has his mouth wide open and then he'll make this motion. Like sometimes he's chewing something, but there's nothing in his mouth. (laughing) - I think he should be in our party. - Yeah, right, let's hire him. Perfect. Okay. All right. I'm Merrick. This is Kaluna. I don't know what Kaluna's doing at this point. - Kaluna will wave as they sort of sit on the soup. - With this spoon. - Very enthusiastically. - I feel like Kaluna should try to balance the spoon on their nose.

- There's still soup on it. - Their nose isn't really a good shape for that though. It's kind of too flat. It wouldn't work. - That makes it a challenge. - Exactly. And this is Cory. You've already sort of met, but we don't know who you are. - She has her arms crossed and she's kind of been watching this whole exchange and looks like as hungry as she looks when you first put the bowl down. When she sees it, she backs off. And then she's kind of just looking at Kaluna, kind of worried, even though five seconds ago, she was clearly not wanting anything to do with this.

Still worried because this is not a good look for anyone. But then she'll look back over to Merrick and Santos. And before you have a chance to say anything else. Are you traveling away from the man lands or did you just get here? - We have a bit of a journey ahead of us and we're looking for people to to help us. We're just looking for people. - She's going to raise an eyebrow. What kind of people? - Well, honestly, I, in the 30 seconds we've known who you are at all, someone like yourself, to be honest, someone with a little bit of power behind them, somebody who could cause some damage if needed.

You've got a particular set of skills, it looks like. - When you first start saying that, like at first she looks a little put off because there's a lot of people in Brightport who might appreciate a young girl for skills. But then you go into depth about what those skills are and she'll kind of nod along. But where are you headed? - How, I mean, it's clear to Merrick that this person is not from here, right? Like this is not somebody he would expect to be on the mainland. - Yes, that's pretty evident. Merrick's been around. - Yeah, I just, you know, it's like, I don't know how specific to tell you where we're headed.

Do you know the mainland well? - She's going to pause for a second. Like she doesn't want to admit this, but then she'll shake her head. As she's shaking her head, you can tell that she has not had a brush in a very long time. Like her hair is super long, but also like super unkept. Like the only way she's been brushing it for probably a few months has been just raking her fingers through it. - Well, we're headed north, away from Brightport, away from the coast, into the mountains. And we recently parted ways with some other party members who have a little bit more power behind them, a little bit of fight.

It looks like you've got plenty of that. You look hungry. - Her eyes are gonna kind of like grow just a little bit. Like her insides are screaming, yes, but she doesn't want to admit that. - How clear is this to Merrick though? I mean, is this like obvious that she's starving? - Is this something that Thanatos will be trying to hide? - Yes. - Well then do me a favor, Merrick, roll a perception check for me. - 28. - I would say that he notices a little something like, yeah, around the eyes, something like that. Just a bit of a reaction. - The way you looked at the stew or something when it got to the table.

- Like if anybody can look at that, like that's a food option, you're pretty fucking hungry. - Yeah. - Unless you're Kaluna. - Who's still like playing with that little green, mushy ball in the center. - Excuse me, it was gray. - Gray, sorry, yes. - That's much more appetizing. - Yeah, clearly. Gray is a healthy food color. Found common in the-- - If I go to Jason, he probably means it. 'Cause green hints at some sort of vegetable. - Not always. - So you're not from the mainland? - No. - And you're hungry, it's clear. - Merrick's gonna look over at Cory and Kaluna, no matter what Kaluna's doing.

And just sort of give like a shrug, like, I don't know. Do you wanna just go for it? - Kaluna's gonna sort of stop eating long enough and sort of obviously having heard like, you seemed hungry. And so they'll sort of look back and forth and then they'll sort of hold up the spoon and say, Merrick makes food. - It's better than this. - Why are you here? What's your business? - Since things seem to be like going along and there's kind of an agreement starting to happen here, Santa's gonna lean forward and put her up to the table. I'm looking for someone. Another gift's awry.

I imagine there aren't many here, so once we find one, it's probably him. I don't know where he is and I need a group to travel with. I don't know much about the mainland, but if it's anything like where I come from, it doesn't matter how hard I can hit if I'm still vulnerable after. - Right, right. - And her eyes are meeting yours and as young as she looks, like the way she's carrying herself, like she's clearly thought this through a lot. And she's taking herself completely seriously, which you can imagine that's why she didn't want to admit that she was hungry is that she wants to be taken seriously.

- Definitely. Yeah, I think this would, I mean, Mary's picking up on that completely and giving that back, right? Like, so like being very respectful and taking everything she's saying very seriously too. So, okay, all right. So you don't know where to start looking for this person, but you do need someone to travel with. And it looks like we are looking for someone who can help us out as well if we get into a tight pinch. Are you, and he's looking at Corey and Kaluna, like, does this make sense? What kind of luck do we just have to just jump into, to talking to somebody who we need?

But should we just go for this? At the very least, you need some food and it's clear you need to take care of yourself a little bit. Should we, he's gonna look at Corey. Should we take her back to Tessia? Just to clean up, just for some food? - I think that sounds like a great idea. We obviously can't eat this, so. - Nope. - She's gonna look at Kaluna. - Yeah, Mary's gonna look directly at Kaluna as well. - Kaluna's gonna shrug like, eh. - At what point does Kaluna have to roll another entrance check? - Hold on, she hasn't rolled anything yet, and there's a reason for that.

Kaluna. - Oh, it's Montezuma's Revenge. - How much of this have you eaten, would you say? - Probably like somewhere between a quarter and half. Probably somewhere in there. - Dude, that's almost four people. - Oh, okay, if it was that big, they're definitely not that much. - It was like four people's worth of food. - Okay, then definitely not anything that bad. That would be bad. - Yeah, I don't know. Like, don't ask me to use measurements. - Okay, let me ask this way. How many heaping mouthfuls has cool Kaluna-- - I would not call them heaping mouthfuls. - But I mean like all in all.

Like, if you add up-- - You would look 12 side of die. - Yeah, that'll work. - See how many he's feed. - Oh no, I don't like the sound of that, but it sounds reasonable. Is that the 12? I hope this is the 12. - 12 is right next to 20. - Okay, good. Four. So like four heaping mouthfuls worth of this food. - Oh, I'm afraid. - Okay. - Divided up into like 12 bites, so. - Right, right, over the period of this conversation. So you've kind of been picking at it and playing with it and eating over the course of the last 10 or 15 months. - Playing with the pee. - Okay.

- Look, you should, I wanna get you some proper food and maybe some time to be able to take care of yourself. Will you come with us? We may be able to strike a deal. - She'll look from each person and out of all of the people that she's seen so far, like you guys are definitely the best option. So she'll kind of just look over you guys and then nod her head, put both hands on the table and push herself up. Like wherever you're going, I'll come to. - Okay, great. No obligation. And at any point you can take off, no problem, okay? - She'll nod. - Okay. Let's go, let's talk.

So, I mean, I think we should just go back to Tessia's and just give her some space and Miracle make some food, make something, or maybe get David, right? Is it David? Get David to help sort of put something together and get her a towel and a bath. - Okay. - She could use a bath, you could tell that. - Yeah, she's the smelly kid in class, it seems like. - Let's get you cleaned up. - Going back to Tessia's. So House Dragonkeep is not too incredibly far away. Getting back to the house, David would answer the door if you knocked, as per usual. And of course, right off the bat, invite you in.

- Thank you, David. - And he would just sort of nod. - Of course. Did you forget something? - No, we've actually gained something and then he's going to motion towards Benthos. We have a new friend. We need a little bit of extra help on our journey, but she needs to eat and she needs to clean up. Do you think we could take care of her? - Of course. And he's gonna lean in and sort of whisper, do you require some sort of orphanage visit or? - No, I think we're gonna be okay. I think we just need a towel, a bath. And if it's okay to go to the kitchen, I'll maybe whip something up.

- Absolutely, of course. And he's going to point the group toward the bathroom and take them there and Merrick knows the way to the kitchen, I'm sure. Okay, how long would you say that Benthos, is this kind of like a leisurely bath time type thing? Like really like kind of reveling in the fact that she gets to clean up or is it more just kind of staying on her guard and like a quick scrub down and then done? - I'd imagine the second one, just because like she's in this weird house. She only just met these people. So it's very quick, like, okay, clean, done.

And then she'll just. - So about 10 or 15 minutes is gonna go by and Benthos is gonna be clean, kind of wet hair 'cause she's got a lot of it. And she'll have a towel and everything. They'll kind of completely like a robe towel type of thing. So they'll have like fresh stuff waiting for her. So you guys are going to get some food, some actual edible food from the kitchen house, Dragon Keep, Benthos is gonna clean up. What would you guys like to do here? - I think we should just use the sitting room just as a congregation point. - Okay. - And for the record, Merrick's gonna be making whatever the equivalents of Theria there are of spinach, like a salad, like a large bowl of salad, spinach with strawberries and some sort of goat cheese and a balsamic vinaigrette.

- Ooh. - Yeah. - How do you make that sound yummy? - Yeah. - Everything I wouldn't normally eat, except for this, I actually do like spinach. - It's just so simple. - It is simple. - With all those bits and pieces. - Yeah, a little bit of sugar, maybe not a balsamic. How about a red wine vinegar and sugar sort of just mixed together. And then that's the dressing on top of goat cheese, some sliced strawberries and spinach. - I'm glad we're nailing this down. I wanna take a picture for the folks at home seriously. - Can we roll for bacon? - Hug-a-lug, hug-a-lug, hug-a-lug.

- Go fuck yourselves. (all laughing) - Can Kaluna get some wine to kill whatever is about to kill them? - Shh, shh, shh, shh, don't worry about that. - Pure alcohol. - Let's just move on. - That would be safer than whatever you just ate. - Well, alcohol kills bacteria, so. - Sure, that's how it works. - Can we get some nail polish? - Yeah, that's fine. - No, no, no, no, science. No, do some science on it. - Science. - Science, yeah. - So yeah, you guys got a nice, you guys got a lovely salad. Thanos is clean. The day is still young, right? So it's like lunchtime-ish, right?

By the time we're all settled in? - Not even, like it's still pretty early morning. - That's good, that's good. We still have plenty of time to take off, which is what we need to do. We don't have time to spare here. - No. - But if we're all sort of congregated in the sitting room, I think we don't have much time. We kind of got to cut to the chase. Merrick's gonna try to get Kaluna and Corey sort of aside before we all sort of sit down. He'd be like, look, I don't know if we have time to think this kind of stuff through, but we've got somebody here that's clearly got some powers and Corey, like you said, a scion's not a bad friend to have.

I don't know much about the, is it get Yankee? It's already. I don't know much about the get Zari, but should we just go for it? I mean, she needs some protection, some help. She's looking for somebody and we need somebody too. And it doesn't sound bad. - We like her. - I think I definitely think we need assistance for sure. If she's up for it and she would like ours as well, I see no reason she can't travel with us. - Listen, I'll tell you what my favorite thing so far is this isn't one of Graddick's friends. So I'm on board. I don't know. I have a feeling and I feel like we should just go for it.

- Let's go for it then. - Okay. Okay, so I guess we'll just sort of all sort of congregate around Fantos and just say it like, look, you've got a little bit of a journey on your plate as well. And so do we. We've got complicated and we'll explain it to you on the way, but we need to head to the mountains. We're looking for some information about some stuff that may happen sometime in the near future. And we don't know what we're gonna face. And are you in control of your powers? I mean, are you able to, you know, attack if you need to attack? - At that Fantos is almost going to look a little bit offended.

Like her lips gonna kind of like twitch and she's like, yes. - Kaluna's definitely gonna give Mary some side eye. Like, hmm. - It's not you. It's there are, I've known others that maybe weren't quite so in control. That's good. That's good to know. Okay, listen, we need someone like you. And it sounds like you need some people like us. We're willing to, and Merrick's gonna sort of tap at his chest, like he's talking about himself. We're willing to make sure that you're well-fed along the way. What else do you require? - If you keep me alive, I'll help keep you alive.

And if we don't find him on the mountain, afterwards you have to keep helping me. - Kaluna's gonna throw an arm over Merrick's shoulders. We're the best at keeping people alive. - Merrick's going to just nod with his eyes closed. Okay, right. Yes. Very good. Very good. Corey, does that sound reasonable? (laughing) - Sorry guys, one second. - For the people at home, Jimmy just wrote in the chat, "And Jinxed." (laughing) - I meant to say that it was our specialty, but I fucked up. - No one ever dies around us. - Nope. - Especially this, our own god of death. Things only go well.

- Yeah, I think that sounds fair. - I mean, it's not like we have a whole lot of other choice, but honestly this feels like a choice that we would have tried to make. So we got lucky. Are you willing to head out basically now? We're kind of in a hurry and time is of the essence. - Santos will nod immediately and then stand up, like you mean right now, 'cause like she ate, and she kind of ate like a feral like animal. The whole vibe you get from her is kind of like stray cat where she doesn't really trust you guys, but God is she fucking hungry. She kind of just sniffed at the salad then just gobbled it all up.

She did not really appreciate the artistry that went into it, but she ate it. - Okay, okay. So we're already well-stocked, right, Jason? Like we've already taken care of you. - Oh yeah, you're ready to go. - Okay. - We're ready to go basically before this morning. - Yeah, totally. I just wanted to make sure, is there anything else that we could possibly need? We do have an extra person, so I'm gonna talk to David and just make sure that we have a little bit of extra provisions to take with us. And if there's any way we can get any sort of like backpack or sacks or anything, or like a utility belt type thing for our friend, just to sort of gear them up a little bit.

- Okay. - Just that kind of- - No problem, man. He would totally set you up. - Okay, cool. - So just- - Does she get her own horse? - Oh, that's a good question. - Well, here's the thing. - Could Thanos handle her own horse? - Well, that's two things. I'm not sure that she would be able to handle her own horse. And on top of that, you, like they sort of set you up with the three of them. - Yeah. - And that's, she might have to ride with somebody. - Yeah. - Kalluna will absolutely volunteer to shave freckles. - How are you with horses? - How am I with horses? Should I, do I bolt?

- That kind of thing? - Roll a nature check. Let's see how you are with horses. - Not great. - Not great. - Kalluna, how do you feel about having a friend? - I'm about a 17 with horses. (laughing) - Try to put a number on it? - Right. However good I am, plus eight. (laughing) - However good I am in that very second, luck dictates, plus an eight. - Right. - Broccoli. - Kalluna, how do you feel about a friend? - Kalluna is going to beam and just look absolutely delighted and they're going to stare with their pupil's eyes, just intently at Thanatos with a big old grin on their face.

- Like you don't have any pupils? - Possibly, possibly terrifying, yes. - That is creepy. - Possibly terrifying, yeah. Yeah, just all white. It's beautiful, really. - Dude, that makes every interaction she's ever had more unsettling now. - Yeah, why has this never been mentioned before? That's fucked up. - I thought I did. I thought I did at the very beginning. - Maybe, but-- - You might have said it all ten times. - That was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. - I missed it, I'm sorry. What was the thing that I-- - She has no pupils in her eyes. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

- See? - Totally. - Your drawing has pupils? - That's the, every other time I've drawn them, they have no pupils. - Anyway, okay. - Anyway, details. - Great, so no pupils. - So you're taking off. - Yeah, we should take off. Let's just, let's go. We gotta go. We gotta go. - Kaluna will offer their hand to Thanos if she wants to hold it. They are not expecting much, but they are offering it regardless. - Thanos is gonna be realistic about this and kind of look at the size of the horse and then take the hand, like. - Oh, I meant just walking to the horses. - Oh. - Oh.

- I thought you meant to get on the horse. - That's my thought. - Yeah, no, she's not taking your hand to the horse. - They will offer to help with getting on the horse, obviously, but. - Okay, so saddling up, Maric's got his horse, Corey's got her horse, Kaluna's got their horse, and Thanos is riding with Kaluna. - Yay. - Perfect. You are all going to finally leave the city of Brightport. - That sounded passive aggressive, Jason. - Not at all. (laughing) - Finally. - She's in bad shape. - Good riddance. - Now, a couple of hours are going to go by. Here's where we might have a little fun with some luck.

- Damn it, I don't want us to be on the horse with the person. (laughing) You're going to vomit on me, or worse. - You should have thought this through. - This stew is going to make an attack roll against Corey's fortitude. - No, no, no, Kaluna. - Kaluna. - Kaluna, oops, that's a quite. - This is going to be good, this is going to be great. - That's a quite difference. - Yeah, sorry. It's going to make an attack roll against Kaluna's. - Dungeoneering. - Fortitude. Now, here's the thing. The plus for the attack was dictated on how much of this Kaluna ate. So it's rolling at a plus 16.

- Oh, okay. - So let's see what happens. - Oh. (laughing) - Oh no. - Oh, run. - Run. - There is sap. - I would like to do a very nice dismount from this horse. (laughing) - Hold on. - Sap everywhere. - Sap is their blood. - So for the record, this was a crit. - Back there is going to be some blood. - The horse is dead. The horse completely keels over. - Okay, okay. - Searing its flesh. - Here's the thing. You guys are on the road and this is, the worst part is I have to ask one of you to do me a favor and roll a D20. - Oh no. - This should be Kaluna. - Okay. - It's Kaluna's fault, it's their fault.

- Let's see what happens. - No. - Good. - I don't know, that combination doesn't seem like a good idea. (laughing) - Oh no. - Don't worry, it's only 30 less than that attack roll was. - Oh man. (laughing) - So we got a crit and a six. - Oh, this is gonna go well. - Thank God it wasn't a crit. - Kaluna's gonna die and we're gonna get attacked by a dragon. - Not a dragon. - Oh, oh, good. You guys should not have made me roll. - So everyone do me a favor please and roll a perception check. - Good, I didn't want to see this. - Including the dying person. - 22. - Fuck yeah.

Yeah, this is what you wanted to see. - This is. - This is what you wanted the high perception roll for. I wanna see whatever monster's about to attack us. I don't care about Kaluna's tummy issues. I don't wanna die by ambush. - You have a runny tummy? Do you have a little runny tummy Kaluna? Is that what's happening? - Got some tummy troubles. - I was on the mission that her tummy troubles were going to be the monster. - Oh no. - She just shits out a bear. - Shits out a bear. - She is one with nature out of me. - Guys, post your fan art on the forums. - Seraph comes out of your butt.

- Here's the thing. - Gratic. - She just pooped, Kaluna just poops the rod of wonder. - Okay. - Oh man, you guys, I'm so sorry. - I would also like to apologize for these terrible decisions. - The decisions that you said earlier. - Stop letting Kaluna make me. - I'm so good at keeping people alive. - I mean, yeah. - Is that what was said? - You are going to be riding down the path here at a decent clip, a nice slow gallop. Like you're gonna be moving. And Thanos is gonna start to hear something. And that's from the person that she's riding with. - God damn it.

- Kaluna's body is gonna start to make these ungodly noises. It sounds like maybe some intestinal distress and then. - I'm so sorry, Freckles. - It sounds like you ever hear someone like stand up and stretch and their bones crack? - Jesus. - Like that, but all over Kaluna's body. - Oh no. - What the hell did you eat? - That's gonna be followed by another noise. Thanos, Kaluna, well Thanos and Kaluna are gonna pick up on this. Charging toward the party. This is out of some brush nearby. Are gonna be two very large trolls. Sadly, it appears as though they are moving at a speed that if you were to take off, you have a chance of maybe getting away.

Unfortunately, if they strike you while you're running, you could be in worse shape than if you were to just stand and fight. So I'm going to leave this as a question to the group. Firstly, what would Kaluna and Thanos do hearing and then seeing these two giant behemoths? - I would imagine without hesitation, Thanos would just yell out, "Trolls." If she knows what trolls are, does Thanos know what a troll is? - Let's roll a nature check. - Let me, oh yeah, I'm so good at naturing guys, 17. - Nope. - Don't know what a troll is, never heard of a troll. - Kaluna would probably make a noise.

I'm not sure what sort of noise it would be. - Well, here's the thing. How would Kaluna start reacting to, so there's gonna be a bit of pain. - There's a bit going on. - There's a bit going, a bit of pain right now. Kaluna's going through a lot of pain. So she notices the trolls, but they notice the trolls, but they're also going through a bit of something. So what would Kaluna say? - Probably. - Okay, that would probably get the attention of-- - Yeah, just a loud noise. - I would say you have a couple of seconds. So everyone is aware that something's going on.

I would say that you all have a couple of seconds to make one very crucial decision. Would you, is it fight or flight? Would you stay and fight, or would you just try to make a run for it? - I mean, this isn't my final answer, but I think Merrick would immediately try to go, like go, go, go, go, go, to get out of the way. - What about Kori? - Can I roll a nature to see if Kori knows anything about trolls? - I would say Kori knows a thing about trolls. - Didn't a troll decimate your party? Right, okay, right. - I would imagine Kori would be like, get the fuck out of here.

- Yes, Kori would definitely, definitely do that. - And what about Kaluna? - I feel like Kaluna's urge towards the trolls would also be run the fuck away, because if I recall, they got a crit whenever they wanted to know about trolls. - Yeah, you'd know some things. And you grew up in the Silver Delayed. - True facts. I need to stop saying that. - What would make sense for us to do if we were just to like try to, will we have to turn around and go the other way, or can we just like go faster? - Well, they're coming at your broad side, essentially. - Okay, all right.

- So it would essentially just be like, yeah. So what I'm going to ask everyone to do, except for Thanos, I'm going to ask Merrick, Kori, and Kaluna to roll an athletics check for me to see how quickly you're going to basically get your horse to move. - Oh no. - I'm going to ask Kaluna to do so with a negative four. - Okay. - Okay, what's going to happen is Kori and Merrick are going to immediately set their horse into like just full speed mode. Just run, go, go, go. Kaluna's going to be a little slower on the draw. Perhaps distracted by the fact that- - They are dying.

- Yeah, her body seems to be rejecting itself. So these, oh God, one of these trolls is going to swing. They have these really long arms and it is going to sort of try and backhand the back end of Kaluna's horse. - Motherfucker. - Now your horse, it's going to be essentially attacking your horse's reflex. So your horse's reflex is going to be a 24. So as long as it doesn't- - It's my pickles. - As long as it doesn't beat a 24, you're fine. 23. - Oh, thank God. - So this troll you're going to, okay, so Thanos is going to feel the air movement as this troll like swings its giant fist towards them.

And it is just going to miss the back end of this horse. And these trolls are going to start to give chase. And they are going to break into a full bore sprint. Now, fortunately, the front of the party in Kori and Merrick are well out of reach. Unfortunately, Kaluna and Thanos aren't quite there yet. So what we're going to do is we are going to have this troll perform a little athletics check. As long as it doesn't get the jump on the party, as long as it pretty much, it isn't going to outrun a horse, but as long as it doesn't immediately catch up, you guys are going to be fine and you're going to sail right past them.

So as long as this troll doesn't roll a 24 or higher, you're fine. That sound good? - That sounds great. - That's fair. Let's do this. - Okay. - This horse is going to gallop away and you guys are going to be out of harm's way after a few moments. Wow. I think that's a pretty good time for us to wrap things up for the evening. - Is it really though? - It is. Listeners at home, what do you think is going to happen to Kaluna at the beginning of the next episode here? The next session? - They're going to poop out their intestines. - Google dysentery. It's pretty amazing.

- Mac is going to have to roll up a new character. - It's actually pretty accurate. - Luna's just going to stay on the side of the road. They're just going to give up. - I would. - Merrick's going to. - Brianna would as a person. Like once that happened, I'd be like, yeah, I deserve this too. That was dumb. - Yeah. - Will Merrick try to heal her by laying on hands, but have second thoughts of touching her? Them, sorry. God dang it. - It's okay. You tried. - It's been a while, which is why you should plan for another game right now. - Okay. - I'm fine with that. - Yeah, me too.

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