A Learning Experience

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(Coughing) (Cans clinking) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s**t. Um... (Clears throat) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you only got to cast aspersions at me.

From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators. Rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Episode 142 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you in part today by Blackshell Media. Guys, if you were here for the streams we did the last couple of weeks on Twitch, we were streaming a game called Sanctuary RPG.

Blackshell Media was kind enough to give us some Steam keys to give away. Everyone really enjoyed the game. They have a host of different games on Steam. All of them are a blast to play and we're going to be doing some more streams coming up. So if you're curious about them, please give them a look. BlackshellMedia.com. Check out their whole host of games. I'm sure a bunch of them are going to be on sale for the Steam Christmas Sale at the end of the year. So please check them out. BlackshellMedia.com. Episode 142 is also brought to you today by GeekFuel.

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So go to GeekFuel.com/DANDR. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, starting with Bree. Hi there, I'm Brianna and I play Thanatos, the Ghisarai Sion. And Jamie. Hi, I'm Jamie and I play Kori Forestkeeper, the Goliath Seeker. And Jasper. Hey, this is Jasper and I play Maric Elphared, the Human Cleric. And Mac. Hi, I'm Mac and I play Kelowna Volgarius, the soon to be dead wild and shaman. We don't know that yet. We don't know it, but it's a possibility. Oh, it's a probability, but I mean, it's not, we don't know it.

Guys, last time on the show, you ventured to the small town of Aldmoor. And during the course of the trip, it became wildly apparent that Kelowna wasn't feeling too well. And eventually you met up with a warforged named Drak in the town of Aldmoor. Who, through some circumstances, informed the party that Kelowna has parasites, worms to be specific. And that you have a limited amount of time to get rid of them. And to do that, you are going to need a portion of a troll's brain. Well that raises a bit of a problem, because trolls in Theria have a bit of a reputation.

And you managed to dodge a couple of them on the way to Aldmoor. So let's turn things over to the party right now. Let's pick things up pretty much right after the visit with the warforged. You guys have walked away. You're still in town. What would you like to do? What roughly time of day? Can we remember where we were with time of day? I think it was night time. Yeah, it was night, because he wasn't on duty anymore for cooking. So actually, where are we? Are we still in the lantern? Is that what it's called? Yeah, I would say you can do one of two things here.

You can poke around here, but would any of you like to give me a history or nature check on trolls in Theria in general? You mean all of us do something? Let me check. I would love to do a history check. All of us. Nature check. That was... Oh. I rolled a 19, which I was really excited about until I saw Jamie's 12 plus fucking 21 that beat my- No. Like- It's demoralizing. It's super demoralizing. It's like- If it helps, I have nothing else, Bastos. I got the hell most of crit. Except perception. It's just nature and perception. Everything else is shit. Oh. Yeah, I got a 19.

Most of my stuff is middle of the road. Like, there's nothing good, but... 29. Almost a crit. Not that it fucking matters. It matters to me. Well, Kalina, Kory, and Thanatos would know that, as a general rule, trolls appear on most of the continents in Theria. Now, they come in a wide variety, and some are much more dangerous than others. Briar trolls would be toward the top of that list. They're faster than they would appear to be. They're strong and relentless and brutal and really tough to take down. Trolls tend to have a regeneration factor, and briar trolls have one of the highest regeneration factors of all of the trolls.

Now, fire is something that sort of cancels that out, and not only will it eat away at a troll, but it'll stop that regeneration process for as long as they're on fire. The trolls that you guys ran from on the road are forest trolls, which are a little smaller, a tiny bit slower, but no less dangerous. They're still strong. They're still tough to take down. The regeneration factor is a little less on forest trolls. So, that is an option. Now, another option is to head further south, because you can... Like in the desert, there are trolls that would be a little easier to take down.

The problem is, you probably don't have that kind of time with Kalina, so... It's pretty much your options are, try and find some forest trolls like the ones that you ran into on the road, or head into the Silverglade, where you will definitely find a briar troll if you look hard enough. What was my question? Oh, did Drakk give any indication at all? Like, would we have any inkling that it would make any difference what type of troll the troll brain was? All he said was "troll." Yeah. Okay, do they travel in packs for the most part? Because we saw two earlier, and that makes me nervous.

Well, traditionally, forest trolls like to travel in packs of up to five. Freak occurrences, you'll find a whole tribe of them, like six or seven, but they tend not to get along because they end up fighting over food. They're so huge. So if you go looking for forest trolls, that is a possibility. You may run into a pack of forest trolls. Briar trolls, while they are much tougher, they tend to be solitary creatures. Maybe you'll find one briar troll and their mate, but that is, that's kinda rare. Hey Jason, the troll that Kori had encountered before was a briar troll, correct?

It was. Okay, I wanted to make sure. So it wasn't a forest. Well, quick question. So you guys, you guys would have some knowledge, and then Kori would have knowledge first hand about trolls. Would that be something that she would relay to the party? Well, I don't know that it's necessarily, like they know that, okay, so Kaluna needs some troll brain to get better, but I don't think it's been decided that we're going to get troll brain. Okay, well then that's true. Not necessarily, but I think if it were brought up, Kori would be like, okay, before we do that, guys.

First of all, it killed all of my friends. I imagine Merrick would be super anxious, like probably pacing, not sitting and relaxing, but like trying to plan things in his head and kind of off in his head about it, like trying to figure out what to do next. Does anybody know anything about trolls? Um, Thanos is probably sitting by the fire like just on the ground spread out and she's looking into the fire and after you ask that, she'll say, "Fire hurts them, but they're big." Kori's gonna sheepishly raise her hand. I've encountered trolls before, and it was not something I would like to relive.

Kaluna's going to scoff a little bit. Thanos is too, actually. He's like, "Pfft." I mean, there's no question for me. I mean, I have to get the horse, I have to go, I have to figure something out tonight. Like we don't have time to waste. Thanos is immediately going to shake her head and she's gonna say, "I need to sleep before we do anything." Besides, there are two types of trolls and we should probably figure out which one we're going after first. Okay. What's the easiest to kill and what's the easiest to find? Easiest to kill is probably the forest trolls, but they travel in packs.

You can get one briar troll by itself. Kori's gonna shake her head. Let's not go with the briar troll. That's what I encountered before and we lost more than half of our party that day. Kaluna will look over at Merrick and say, "The briar trolls come from home." And just sort of give him a look. Like, like, like, "No." Yeah, like, "Home. The place that's terrible." Right. You know the place where werewolves attack things? They have to learn how to attack the werewolves back? Yeah, that place. Yep. Okay. I mean, it sounds to me like, yes, we might be able to find a single briar troll if we go into a place that might mean that we're surrounded by worse or more.

So if what we passed a couple of days ago or yesterday or whenever that was, if they were forest trolls, then at least we know where they might be so we could at least head back that way. It might be more, but it seems less dangerous even though it's still dangerous. I mean, I'm just spitballing here, but that seems like the best plan. Like, immediately. Santos will nod, but then she'll say, "We're gonna need fire." And doesn't look like any of you have any. I can slightly use the elements of fire, but it is not a specialty. Okay, well- I mean, I'm sure if we went to a generalized weapon shop, there's, like, someone would have something that's like, "This'll burn them alive!" Uh, hang on, there's an alchemist upstairs that we just talked to who surely has something that would allow us to be able to make fire do its worst damage.

Somehow. Even if not damaged in persistence. That's actually a good idea. Even just for the fire thing. 'Cause that would really help. 'Cause Jamie, you said you had an at-will, but at-wills never have ongoing fire damage. It's no, it's not. Right, so it would still regen after you used it. Like, it would probably do extra damage if it's vulnerable 5 or something, but... Right. Because that's how it works, right, Jason? Just out of character? For the ongoing? For the regen. Like you said, as long as they're on fire, they don't regen anymore. Right. So it needs to be ongoing fire damage.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Guys, I have more fire stuff! I'm sorry, I have daily with fire stuff. And it is save ends. Yeah! So there's one. Nice. Thing is, that only works if we fight one troll. Right. Yeah, it's one creature. Right. And it also means that it's... we've gotta get damage happening. Not just the fire, but we've gotta... I can deal damage. Yeah. Ugh. Can't take it, but I can deal it. Trolls. I have my lightning zone that helps people do extra damage, but... We all probably fight each other. Like, I mean, we'll all probably help each other fight pretty well.

We won't fight each other, that would be bad. Yeah. Right. Just punch each other in the face. A full person party against one big troll or a bunch of tiny trolls doesn't seem like... How tall, Jason, were the tiny trolls? Out of curiosity. Tiny is not the word I would use. That's... well, okay. It compares what I was saying. Your average briar troll, which are the big ones, your average briar troll is anywhere between eight and a half and ten and a half feet. Somewhere in there. They weigh hundreds of pounds and they hit like brick shit houses. Like, they will... well, you saw.

Mhm. Forest trolls are anywhere between seven and a half and around nine and a quarter feet. And again, they weigh hundreds of pounds, but they're not quite as fast or as durable as a briar troll. They also can't bend bits of nature to their will, which is something that a briar troll can do. They can actually wrap people up in spiny thorns and briars and things like that. It's a real pain to deal with them. Nope. No thanks. So if we fought forest trolls, I could potentially be looking our enemies in the eyes. Oh yeah. Right. Yeah. That doesn't seem as scary to Corey.

That wouldn't seem as scary to Corey. They're all fucking huge to me, so whatever. Yeah, the only thing you gotta work out... the only thing you gotta worry about is facing more than one or two of them. Yep. Um... Okay. I'm five two, by the way, in case anyone's wondering. I have switch tracks. So, forest trolls is what I'm hearing. Yeah, I think it's as simple as we can't go find a briar troll to find one because that puts us actually in more danger where we would go to find the briar troll. So the forest trolls are the way to go. Even if we find a couple of them, we'd probably be better off because we could probably split them up, we could do something in different attacks.

Who knows what it is, but we would at least have a better chance and be in a better environment, like a context. Right. And we do have two people who are very good at nature who can track them easier. That's true. Also, I mean, it is the middle of the night. I don't know how long it's going to take us to get there and if we go right now, but you need a rest, Thanatos. So, okay, fine. I was going to suggest that maybe we could find a way to be able to use a little bit of nature to sneak up or to try to surprise them or something like that, depending on where they are.

I think that's still stealth, which we are not good at. Am I? Oh, we're just in front of our faces. I'm not good at stealth, in case anyone's wondering. Oh yeah, me neither, no. Who is it that can sort of... Yeah, no, it's Kori. Can't you be in nature and nobody can see you? Oh, like camouflage-y? Like when I was hiding from group two, I was specifically... I had to roll stealth, but I think Jason added a nature or something to it because I was using the elements against my group. Okay. But that's hiding from something, not sneaking up on it. Yeah, it was a little bit...

I'm just looking for any way we can get out of fighting, but still... We could set up some traps. Usually you have to fight someone to take their brain. I'm just throwing that out there. No, sure, sure, but I'm trying to not fight that troll and all of its friends. Well, that's something we can figure out once we're there. So we're going after forest trolls, we need firepower and sleep. Alright, that's it. Yep. Merrick's just gonna probably just take off and go back up to Drax. Yeah, he's just... Talking about all this, he's trying to plan things out. He's gonna be like, "Okay, fire." And he's gonna go up the stairs.

Dantos will probably stay downstairs. Kori's specifically gonna wait for Merrick to come back down because she wants to chat with him before everybody retires for the night. Kaluna's gonna look like they want to follow, but they're gonna make themselves sit down and chill. Oh right, you're not supposed to be moving too much. Yeah. So I would imagine Merrick would kind of knock on the door. Yeah. Drax would answer and immediately at his wits end, just "What?" Fire. We need fire. You need a troll brain, we need fire. Long pause, and he is going to walk over to again the dresser where he had a bunch of his stuff, like the thing he used to extract a sample from Kaluna.

And he's going to reach in and there are gonna be a number of these glass flasks. And he is going to pull one out and with a measure of gingerness that you have not seen him exhibit yet, he's going to hold it out to Merrick. What's that? That would be fire. How do you use it? Throw it at it. And it just bursts into flames, is that it? As soon as it touches air. Okay, that's exactly what I need. Is this all you got? It's all I have on me. If you give me another two days I can make you some more. We don't have two days. We probably have two days before Kaluna's dead, so...

Okay, this is perfect. 300 gold. 300? I'll give you 200 for it. I didn't say 200. I've got 200. Fine. Just give me the 200. Alright, Merrick will get 200 out. And he's going to take it. Again, kind of just like, "Oh, you're the worst." Just... Edit. Uh... Yeah, listen, um... You need a troll brain. Does it make any difference what kind of troll it is? There's a couple of different types of trolls. Really, no. Okay, that's good. [Sigh] How... How good are you at... Fighting trolls? Just asking for a friend. Why? Well, I'm sitting down there thinking, and I'm desperate, and I'm in a hurry.

Kaluna's very important to me. This has to be taken care of immediately, and I look around at us and I realize... We could heal the fuck out of a bunch of trolls, but we can't really cause a lot of damage. We've got one person who could probably do it. I've got fire from you now. And... look at you. You're what you are. And maybe you're good at battle? I don't know. What... We need a friend. You don't have money. I may have more than I said I did. So let me get this straight. I hand you that flask, you hand me 200, because you tell me you have 200. Now you have more than 200.

Well, I had 200. That was not a lie. I did have 200. There's... I... Did you make more money in the last couple of minutes? No, it's not that. I... I just happened to say that I had 200, and you accepted it. I have 300, at least. We have enough money. What do you cost? Can we borrow you? Can you help us out? You're just after the trolls, right? Look, the only reason that we even need something at all is because you're telling us we need something. After that, we've got our own business to take care of. So... Yes. First thing in the morning. We have to go. I'm worried. 3,000. 3,000?

I go with you. We get the brains. I come back. Make a cure for your plant. You take it. That's it. 3,000 for the whole lot. That's including the cure. Everything. I think we can scrape up 3,000. And the American's gonna just hold his hand out to shake, like they're making a deal. He's gonna look down at your hand, and for the briefest of inches, like, "What? Why? What?" But then he'll reach out and grab your hand. Okay. And you're not like a painter or an artist of some sort, right? Like, you can fight. I can stab the things, if that's what you want. That's what we want.

Okay. Look, we're gonna leave as soon as the sun's up tomorrow morning. You gonna be ready? Yep. Okay. Thanks, Jack. I would say we owe you, but we're gonna pay you. So, get some good sleep. We'll see you in a few hours. Yeah. Great. Nice chatting with you. He's going to kind of slam the door as soon as you're kind of, like, not in the doorway. Right. Okay. Yeah. Marisha's gonna go straight back down. Okay. I feel like the biggest cock bag in the world playing that character. I am so sorry. I love him so much. He's my favorite grumpy girl. I love him so much. So, I mean, I guess Merrick would just relay that information.

Like, all right, look. I've got some fire. We only have one big dose of it. So, it's like a bomb. It's like a grenade. So, when we have the chance to use it, we need to use it, but we can't use it before that. It can't just be willy-nilly, right? So, I've got that, but I've got something else that might help a little bit. If we find some trolls and, Kaluna, this'll potentially be able to get you a troll bank quicker. And that is, we have Drakk, who's gonna be joining us in the morning. Um, question. So, they're just going to blink at Merrick? Like, who? Drakk.

Drakk, the guy, the warforged upstairs. The person who's gonna make the cure. Kaluna's going to sort of bare their teeth. Why him? We don't like him. I don't like him either. He's a jackass, but look around at us. I mean, we've got one person who's gonna sort of motion at Thanatos. One person who can, you know, maybe do some pretty big damage. The rest of us can heal, that's it. I mean, we're fighters for sure, but... Kori's right there. Right? Like, uh. I shoot arrows. I'm exactly as helpful as Hawkeye from the Avengers. It's true. Alright. Listen, we can all fight, but none of us is anything like Thanatos over here.

And none of us is like, potentially Drakk. And, I don't know. It just seemed like a good idea. We need all the help we can get. And Kaluna, we need to do this now. We don't have two or three days to wait. We have to get this done immediately. And then, we don't have two or three days to wait after that, because all hell is gonna break Liz and Tharia if we don't get this demon stuff taken care of. Kaluna's going to open their mouth to protest, but then they're going to realize, "Mm-mm, trolls. Trolls!" And they're just gonna snap their mouth shut and just sort of cross their arms and pout.

Thank you. Anybody else? Are you okay with Drakk? Thanatos will just shrug. He's a good conversationalist. We'll have a fun time on the way there. Great. Fine. Okay, we need some sleep. We've gotta leave it first light. Kori's gonna sort of hand us stand back while everybody is heading off to bed, and she's gonna be looking at the fire, and she's gonna say, "Marek, a week's gone by, and I understand all of these--all of the things we're doing are important, but we are on a strict timeline." And she's gonna look towards him. Yeah. Marek will meet her gaze and then probably look down at the ground and just sort of thinking and processing and he'll nod his head.

Look, I know, I know. This--I understand this more than anybody. I've taken this on, even as a skeptic. I've taken this on, and I'm counting down the days, the hours, and the minutes to be able to take care of what needs to be taken care of. And listen, again, if you are who you think you really are, I want you to be free, and that's my goal too, okay? Right now, this is unfortunate, what's happened with Kaluna, and it could have been prevented, but the only thing I can do right now is make this happen quickly, take care of this, and then we can get on our way.

We can double time it. We can make sure we're back up to speed, and I'm with you. This isn't something that you need to convince me of. This is something that I know and I'm struggling with as we speak. She's just gonna sort of nod to herself, because that's what she needed to hear, you know, that there won't be any more distractions or that we're not biding time, so she's just gonna nod to herself and say, "Alright, then we'll leave first thing in the morning." I hope that everything works out with Kaluna. Like I said, I understand everything is important, but the lives of, as far as we know, everyone in Theria is relying on us.

And I hate to let Theria down. Merrick's gonna have that look of like, "Yeah, no shit." Look, he's gonna sort of lean, or he's gonna be close, right? He's gonna be sort of, not whispering, it's not a secret, but he's just gonna be intimate about it, and he's gonna say, "Look, I have my priorities, and then I have my priorities." And what he's trying to say, what he's getting across is, he has his priorities for life with Kaluna and the party, but he understands that there are priorities that may mean that that needs to take a backseat if it comes to the worst.

Does that make sense? Yes. So that's kind of his point, is he has priorities, but he also knows what his priorities need to be. And he's gonna, actually, he's gonna actually use this moment, because he and Kori haven't had a lot of good interaction with connecting, but he's gonna actually put his hand on her arm, like, you know, not quite the shoulder, but just sort of like, "Seriously, I'm with you. I'm totally with you." She'll seem awkward with the touching, but she'll- He's not gonna like stroke you or anything crazy and try to kiss her. No, no, it's a personal thing where everybody she touches is dying, so that's really more, that's sort of like more of a concerned look for you than for her, but she'll give you a smile and we should get some rest.

We are gonna have a long day tomorrow. Yeah. Okay. All right. First light. So everyone's getting some sleep? Sleep. All right, so here's what we're gonna do- Should we roleplay the sleep? Beautiful. I imagine Kalluna's having a great sleep. Let's pick things up very early on the fifth day of Thorim. So the sun is just about to rise, and I'm imagining that you are all waking up early to head out. I think Merrick would already be up and already taking care of all of his horse stuff and then act up, like- It sounded like you said all of his horse stuff. Well, he kicked the whore out.

Gonna attack the whore again. Kick the whore out, tell her she can't stay there. Guys, help me dig a hole real quick. I don't, like that joke is normal, but when you apply it to Merrick, it's so wrong. That's his one vice. He's this squeaky clean, really nice dude, but he kills hookers. I mean, he's- It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It just gets crazy. They're just dirty, dirty horse guys, and we have to clean up Theria one at a time. Now let's get out there to that troll. The world with fire. I got this bomb, we gotta go durnhall. Are we bringing torches?

Was that a thing? Are we still doing that or no? Do we not need to? No, there's gonna be everything that Merrick can possibly figure out to have fire around. He's gonna have fire around. I believe the adventurous kid has torches. It sure does. Shoot it. I don't know how much damage they do. It's probably a 1d6, but it exists. Unless you hold it to the thing and then... Just chuck it at it. It goes out midair. You never know. They might be surrounded by bushes that you could throw your torch in and then like, I don't know. No. That burned down the entire forest.

I mean, that would be- Do you want these brains or do you want these brains? Actually, that's a good point. Can I do something? So the lantern has a kitchen. Is the door locked to the kitchen or is the dude that runs the place, is he out there? This early in the morning, it's not like it would be locked. You can get in there. And the proprietor is always like, yeah, go ahead. I mean, you paid. Okay. So, Maric's gonna head in the kitchen and he's not gonna relay any of this to the proprietor. He's just gonna be like, you mind if I get in the kitchen for a minute?

And he's gonna look around for some sort of liquor. Hmm. Like something in a flask, something that he would be able to just sort of take. Do me a favor. Roll a flat D6. And the higher the number, the more flammable and useful the liquor is, you're gonna find. Yep. Meh. Okay. Two. So you're gonna find, yeah, I mean, you're gonna find something that's gonna burn off really quickly. Okay. Would he be able to find anything else in the kitchen? I mean, of course, like cooking materials or anything like that, like any sort of oil or grease that he feels like would do better than that?

Do me a favor. Roll a flat D20. I'll have to do that. That's a 12. Okay. What Merrick is gonna find is essentially this bucket of grease that looks like it would go up pretty easily, but the tough thing is it's a very thick kind of viscous type of substance. So you would kind of have to smather it all over whatever you're going to try and set on fire, then set it on fire. Okay. All right. He's gonna try to grab as much of that as he can in some way, like find some sort of container or some sort of flask that he'd be able to, I mean, I guess maybe not a flask, a canteen, but whatever it would make sense for that sort of mixture to get into.

Yeah, it's kind of thick for that, but you're gonna be able to take away enough of it so that you can coat, let's say, the upper body of a person. Or like a troll or something. Yeah, maybe. I mean, hypothetically. Right. Okay. All right. He's just gonna grab whatever he can with that, but enough that it would fit into his pack. He's just being cautious. Sweet. All right, done. All right. Here's what's gonna happen. Who's gonna be our tracker? Me, me. I won't do it. Okay. Guys, no, you don't understand. I have a plus eight to nature. Well, I mean, if you want to take the lead, I don't know you, so apparently you must be a better...

I can't even ride a horse. Do me a favor, Kory, and roll a nature check for me. Pretty good. That... So Kory is pretty much going to take the lead. First of all, you encounter trolls to the south. There is a forest called Bandit's Rest, which would be a really prime spot to start looking. Now Kory is going to go ahead and start to track these trolls. Now, on the road, heading south, and I would say about an hour has passed. So you are running south from Aldmoor. Do me a favor, everyone, roll a perception check. Every single person in this party is going to suddenly feel the earth beneath them shake.

Violently, as a matter of fact. And all of your horses are going to stop dead, sort of spread their legs, try and catch their footing. It's gonna be bad, though. And this is gonna continue for several seconds. And Kaluna, Kory, and Thanatos are going to come to the assumption that it's not an explosion. It's too big for that. It feels more like an earthquake. Does it feel familiar? How so? I mean, does it feel like obviously out of place? It's pretty rare for earthquakes to be a thing here in the mainland. So it's like definitely an earthquake. Well, would Merrick have any experience with earthquakes being from the fire aisles where volcanoes and earthquakes are quite common?

See, that's the thing. On the fire aisles, that is not an uncommon thing at all. That's something like short-term or something. Oh, but he did... Wait, did he not notice this or something? Oh, no, no. He noticed it, but this is more like the ground shaking. And most times in Daria you'd go, "Oh, something big is coming our way," or "Oh, there's an explosion," or something like that. This is just, okay, that was an earthquake. Like, everything was moving, right? But, yeah, Merrick would actually have some, coming from the fire aisles, he would have some experience with earthquakes and things like that.

So I'd say he'd notice that, too. Okay. Are our surroundings any different after this shakey-ness? It's gonna subside. Like no birds are flying away or anything? Oh, yeah! Oh, god, yeah. Like, the wildlife's kinda losing its shit. Like, you're gonna notice birds take off from the trees and the forest and stuff, but seconds are gonna go by and nothing's charging out at you. Nothing is fundamentally different. It just felt like that was a decent-sized earthquake. Is there any indication of a direction, or was it just everywhere? This felt like it was coming, but just everywhere.

Okay. Okay, anybody know what's going on at all? Nobody? Okay. Calluna's just gonna look like a wet cat. He's just gonna... Could this day get any worse? I'm filled with worms! [Laughter] Can Calluna feel them, by the way? Oh, god, can we not? We're not quite there yet. Give it time. It would more be like termites, right? Yeah, it would be- by the time she can- okay, by the time Calluna, sorry, by the time Calluna can feel them, things are gonna get better. It's too late, yeah. Let's not let that happen. Got it. Oh, that's so sad. Jamie, you should roll a nature check on that earthquake that just happened.

Jason, I'd like to roll a nature check on the earth. That is brilliant, Jamie! Go ahead. That's such a good idea. I'm so glad you came up with it. I know, right? I'm an ingenious, that's all I can say. You are an ingenious. [Laughter] Alright, don't make fun of my just- With a backwards G. [Laughter] 31. So, Corey would know that, again, earthquakes in this area are very rare. There's no real volcanic activity or anything like that in the mainland. And on top of that, in her experience, she has not come across anyone who's mentioned an earthquake and has not experienced one for herself.

It doesn't appear as though it did a crazy amount of damage. There'd be a tree or something like that that might have fallen over. But the landscape has not really changed or shifted in any significant way. Let's look for trolls, guys. More troll hunting. We just have to keep going. That was weird. Everybody just sort of keep on your toes, but we gotta keep going. Continuing south, Corey's going to pick up the trail of a lone troll. This appears to be a forest troll. Yes. Judging by the size of it, this does appear to be a forest troll. And it is going to lead directly into Bandit's Rest.

So I'm going to ask you guys, what would you like to do here? First of all, how smart are trolls? Because this could be a trap. Judging by your nature check before, trolls aren't really the trap laying kind. Okay, cool. They're not kobolds in that they're- So this is just a sad, lost baby troll. No, stop. Whatever. Kill 'em young. It's okay. He doesn't know that he loves life yet. It's fine. I don't want to bring back the wrath of Mama Troll. It's just a troll sitting in the forest. God, I love living. Life is beautiful. It features something that I don't know.

I just feel like peace is the right word. He's a troll in Central Park. Look, friends! Look, I got a friend too! Maybe I could join a group or a party of some sort. Oh! Um, okay. Uh, all right. So I guess, well yeah, I would let the group know that there's a trail. There's a trail that's going into Bandit's Rest. I don't know what I know about Bandit's Rest. How about everyone roll a history check on Bandit's Rest? Ah, I don't know shit! That makes sense. You're not from here. Fair enough. Oh yeah, look at that. You don't even go here! I feel better that even though Merrick rolled five more than I did, we have the same score.

That makes me feel better. Merrick's not a history buff. Not his thing. So, Cory on the other hand could tell the group a little bit about Bandit's Rest. It is pretty much the headquarters of the largest slave trading operation in Theria, the Nuval. They have taken up residence within Bandit's Rest along with some of the worst murderers, thieves, and just all around bad people. People so bad that they run out of allies in places like Brightport and they have taken to the forest to escape. Oh, group one? Haha! Hey-ho! Hello! Badoomtish. Um. Okay. Sorry. Was that it?

I'm sorry. That's pretty much it. I'm so sorry. Bad place full of bad people. But not bad because of Silvergladebad where it's bad because of wilderness. This is bad just because of other people for the most part. Okay, so taking into consideration everything that I know about Bandit's Rest, she probably let the group know. So listen, there is some tracks that are heading towards Bandit's Rest, however, I'm not necessarily thinking it would be such a great idea to head that direction. I think maybe spending a few extra hours looking for another set of tracks would probably be more ideal for our situation.

But I wanted to let you guys know everything about what's happening and she's just gonna sort of tell everybody what she knows about Bandit's Rest, everything that you've just said. What time of day is this? So we left it early, early, early morning. Yeah, this is still very early morning. Okay, good. This is like, the equivalent would be like 7, 8 AM, somewhere in there. Okay. Bedtime, that's what that is. If this were closer to midday, I think it would be a different story, but since it's early enough, and if that's the sense that Kori has, Merrick would trust it and just say, "Okay, well, if you feel like this is not the right thing to do right now, then let's keep trying, but we don't have much time." I mean, I wanted to put it up to the whole group because this does look like it's just one set of tracks, so we wouldn't necessarily have to be dealing with a group of trolls.

However, we would have to not only be dealing with trolls, we would have to be dealing with outside enemies as well, most likely. And this was the Silverglade problem with the Briar Trolls, so if we can avoid it, let's avoid it. If we have to double back and try this again, maybe we can do that, but... Are there any other tracks here? Let's see, Jason, are there any other tracks? Well do me a favor, J. God! It's me, Heart. We're all just standing there like, "I don't think she's really that good at tracking." Do me a favor, roll a Nature check. Oh, that one sounds good.

Still 28. 28. Oh man, only 8 above a cut. Aw. Not the worst. Cory is going to pick up a secondary set of tracks. This appears to be two forest trolls, but they are heading in a southerly direction. And this would be the tip of Bandit's Rest, which is, for the most part, not where you would find any of the Nuval or people. They tend to congregate more toward the northern center of the forest. Okay, so there's two sets of tracks going this way. I mean, maybe... How's Drak doing? Oh, Drak's disgusted with all of you. Yeah, Drak. I wasn't sure if maybe he had some insider information that maybe he'd like to share.

Would you like to share anything with the class? No, that's a good point. That's a really good point. Any ideas? Are you asking him seriously? Yeah, any ideas? He is from around here, he might know. You need a troll brain, you're from around here. Any ideas? No, you need a troll brain. I love that you keep saying, like, "You need a troll brain, right? You want it?" I love how Drak's number one response to everything is to just turn what the person said around. Like, there's the fucking worst person on the planet. Like, just take the last thing you said and make you feel bad for saying it.

It's Drak's entire bit. I love puppies. I bet you love killing them, don't you? Do you? Do you love puppies? Well, okay, so it was pretty clear that that's the reason you guys didn't go after the last troll, was because we might run into bandits, right? Yep. Well, they're not going to be in the southern tip of the forest, are they? But... The bandits? Yeah, the thing you're worried about fighting. Fucking pussies. Honestly, look, we're probably going to have to fight, what, two, three trolls, something, whatever. As long as you guys can handle your own, shouldn't be a problem.

But if we could speed this up, that'd be great. Yeah, no shit. God, I like him so much. Okay. Alright, let's go. What do we do? What are we doing? We're going after the two ones heading south? Two trolls are better than one, right? Two troll brains? You can sell the other one, right? Well, I mean, he's suggesting... What if they're honeymooning trolls? Like, they're just strolling through their hands. Well, then they'll die together and they'll be beautiful. Jamie, not everyone's getting married. It's not all about you. I just like to see the good in life. Why do you keep trying to humanize all the trolls?

You're like, "What if it's a baby?" I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me today. "What if they just got married?" "What if they have cancer?" It's like, stop. They'll die as a family. They'll die faster. I think it might be... Okay. Sorry for the detour. I think it might be because my first image of a troll right now is the rock trolls from Frozen. Not really. Wow, I want to kill them even more now. Let's go. Let's do two. That was the worst song in the entire thing. I don't care about... They were cute. I don't know if you watched Once Upon a Time, but they're really...

Guys. Continue on. That was Settle for a Dickwad, the song. Anyway. Let's follow the two trolls going south. It'll mean less bandits. We might have a couple of trolls, but we'll have fewer things to deal with, right? Okay. Let's go. We don't have any time to waste. Cory is going to continue to follow these tracks and lead you to the southern tip of the forest here. Now, this is an area that is pretty thick and wooded, and your horses are not going to be able to continue on. Are you going to leave them behind, or are you going to look for another entry point?

What time of day is it? You've spent another hour on the road, so somewhere around like 9 AM, somewhere in there. 9, 9, 30. Do we feel like there's a roughly secluded place to tie the horses up? Oh yeah, you could do that now. It's still... The partially wooded area is someplace you can tie them off and then just continue on. But to track them, you're not going to be able to take the horses into the thick of the forest. I think it's more important to be able to track and get this taken care of, and then... I'd rather spend time trying to find the horses again than trying to find the troll.

But in any case, Merrick's going to look up and see where they parked. He's going to look at if there's any signs or anything like that, like section E2 or whatever it is to see where the horses are. And Kaluna just like, carves something into a tree. Like, here you go, here's our mark. We're going to carve a tree. Plus 21. We'll be fine. We'll fucking find it. I feel like you guys are even more timid than usual. I was actually just looking for the "Get On With It" gift from Monty Python. Alright, fine, let's go. Let's just do it. Let's get the horses strapped up, and then let's go.

I scared them with my troll tails. You did. Well guys, here's the thing. Here's what we're going to do. There's no sense in rolling a flat D20, because you guys are actually looking for danger in a rare flipping of the script. What we are going to do is we're going to roll to see how much danger you're going to find. Now do you remember the number that I gave you for the largest that a pack of trolls would congregate with? It was like 2, right? Yeah, I think it was no more than 2. 2 to 3? Yeah. Let's see here. Jamie, do me a favor. Roll a flat D6 for me. Do I have to?

It could have been so much worse, guys. It was a 5 for a second. No! Corey is going to continue to track these trolls into the forest. Do me a favor. Everyone in the party, roll a stealth check. No! I'm so good at these guys. Let me go see what I got. A plus 8? That's a lot. As long as- oh. Okay! I'm awesome! Guys, I'm so good at this. I am the stealthiest. That actually makes sense. I'm very small. Mine does not make sense at all. Really? A 7? Hang on, hang on. I should mention- One more voice ever than you. Oh no, I shouldn't mention it because it doesn't matter. No, it's true.

Merrick, if people are around him, they can't be surprised, but that's not the same thing. Alerting other people to our presence is not the same as them sneaking up on us. You're the only one I think, "Well, no, we're actually traveling with armor." I was going to use that as an excuse for you, but that's a little raucous. Yeah, don't be racist. You called him a thing earlier! You didn't call him a thing, we just want to borrow you. Not if it's many words. Okay, my god, you guys are going to continue into the forest and Merrick is going to get hung up a couple of different times on some branches that are sort of just in the way.

And if anybody has kind of cut through the forest, once there's no path, it becomes really tough not to get caught on things. Specifically when you're wearing bulky armor. And sadly Merrick is exactly wearing bulky armor. And this noise is going to attract the very trolls you have been tracking the entire time. So there's no surprise round for either one of you, but I would like everyone to do me a favor and roll initiative. So continue into this forest, Merrick's going to make a little bit of noise, not intentionally of course, but it is going to be enough to get the attention of these trolls that you've been tracking.

And three of them are going to be in this smaller clearing. And one of them is going to let out this crazy roar at the party. And that is going to kick off combat. Drak is going to be up first. Drak doesn't seem like the type who would charge into combat to be honest. Oh he's getting money enough to charge into combat. That's true. He was paid to charge into combat. Better true. I'm going to shake my bag at him. He'll get hit first, so you know. Drak is going to move forward and he is going to try to use his longsword against forest troll number one. Well that's disappointing.

That is going to miss. That'll end his turn. Kori, your turn. I'm going to attack friar troll two with elemental spirits. To choose an element, I'm going to pick fire whenever I use this power. Your choice determines the power's damage type, so it will be fire damage. Holy fuck! Wow, that will hit the troll. Like a bunch. Okay. It's actually not that cray cray, but... Twenty-four damage is quite a bit. Sweet deal. So now I'm going to use a free action because I used one of my at will powers called Pale Wolf's Lore. Which means I'm basically conjuring a wolf onto the battlefield.

And I get to put it next to the target. And I'm actually going to put it in the bottom left corner of my target. No, that's okay. One over to the left. Right there. And so if the target or an enemy moves out of a square adjacent, they'll get damage. Gotcha. And then that's my turn. Alright. Forest troll one is going to target Drakk. And he's going to use a little power called punch. He is going to rear his fist back and he is going to try and punch Drakk right in the sternum here. That is going to hit. Thirty-one damage to Drakk. Okay. Forest troll number two is going to make a beeline for Kori, but...

Gonna hit Marek first because Marek's just in the way, sadly. You get to... that's... Okay, so that's six damage from the wolf or does the wolf make the turn? It's five. It's originally because my original attack hit, I get to do extra damage, 2d10. But every time the thing passes, it's five damage. Gotcha. And did he get anything extra because it was fire? Or no? No extra damage, it just... yeah. Okay, that's what I thought. I think that's what happened last time too. Yeah. Let's see here... you know what? Troll number two is going to try and punch Marek. That is going to miss.

Damn straight. Let's see, troll number three... He also gets five. Okay, and four damage. Gonna try to punch Kori. 27, that will hit. Ouch. Punch. 35 damage to Kori. Oh, okay. It's okay, we got healers. Marek, your turn. Okay, so first thing I'm gonna do is... something called Moment of Glory on Forest Troll 2. Pushing the target back and knocking it prone. Sumi, how do I do this again? Control click. Man. Yeah, that is gonna miss. Okay. Um... that's not good. Why did that happen? Okay. So now I expected things to go. I don't understand. I think you and each ally in the blast can resist five to all damage until the end of my next turn.

Oh, so... Just you. Oh. Wait, what? 'Cause it's a blast. Yeah, if it were a burst we might be able to be in it, but because it's a blast you shot it in a direction. Which is towards the troll, so we didn't get it. It's fine. This is all unacceptable. This is a load of bullshit. I would like to get this fixed, please. Merrick flips the table. He's gonna move over here. What he's gonna do is, as soon as that missed, he's gonna try to get sort of between Kori. I'll take an opportunity to talk if he moves. I don't wanna do that. Don't say things like that to me. Why is all of this unacceptable tonight?

Well, I let you know that before Jason made the roll, so... That's true. I always make those mistakes, too. Alright, then I'm gonna do... You can shift back, but that's pretty much it. I'm just gonna... I'm gonna do... I'm gonna... If you shift back, only one of the trolls can reach you, so that's good. So I just shift back one? Just shift back one. Next to Kori and me. There you go. Yay. Alright. I guess I'll just leave it at that. Alright. Kaluna, your turn. Maric moved, so now my plan is fucked up. Thanks, Maric. The only reason Maric is here is because of you. Listen...

You horrendous bitch. How could you do this? Guys, now I don't have a plan, so should Pig be helping Drag, or should he be helping you? He should be helping Kori. Okay. Well, who took more damage technically? Technically Kori. I'd go with Kori. Yeah. Okay. So right now? No, on the other side. Let me... let it there. Okay. So that way he can... Okay, so now that we're not doing my super cool plan, I'm gonna use Stalker Strike, so that he can grant combat advantage for people. It doesn't do any damage, but that's okay. You're not here for the damage. Nope. That'll hit.

Yay. Let me damage to troll number three. You can spend a Healing Surge, and you gain HP... You gain extra HP... you get six extra HP with your Healing Surge. For what power? Sorry? Healing Spirit. 'Cause I have Vigorous Spirit. Ah, gotcha. Ah-ha. Ho ho. And no one else needs healing. That's close enough, so... Thanatos, you're up. First I am going to move over here, and I'm going to help Drakk out a little bit so he's not fighting a troll all by himself, and I will use Force Punch because that's pretty much all I got. Force Blast, you mean? Come on! Yes, Force Blast.

Can I... can I reroll? That's the same modifier. Just 'cause I used the wrong thing? But I used the wrong thing! It's a crit miss. But I clicked the wrong thing. She clicked the wrong thing, Jason. I probably would want to reroll. I clicked the wrong thing. I was about to click it again, too. I reopened Force Punch just for the record. No, it is different. It's versus reflex, so I think I should have to reroll. It's still a crit one. 'Cause Punch is... Yeah, but it's different modifier. Move on. I love you, but move on. Feels like Izzy's back on the group. Holy shit.

I wanted to help. No, it's an at-well. So I don't know why I'm fighting as hard as I am. That's why I thought you were fighting. I was like, "Aw, man, it's probably a daily. That's why she's so upset about this." No, I just like to be cool. Um... fine. None. I waited so long for this. That's it? I just don't have anything else to do. Jarek is going to try to use his longsword on troll number one. And... Holy shit, that'll hit. Yay! Good job, Jarek. Thirteen damage to troll number one. That will wrap up his turn. Kory, your turn. Okay. So, am I allowed to shift back?

Yeah, sure. Alright, I'm gonna do that. So I'm gonna shift back. Okay, gorgeous. Then I'm going to do a minor action called Stone's Endurance. I gain resist ten to all damage until the end of my next turn. Okay, then do me a favor and click on yourself. Okay, sorry I have a billion windows open. Click that second zombie. Next to Stone's Endurance. There you go. Yeah. By the way, my Pale Wolf's lore only lasts until the end of my next turn, so he'll go away after this. Not that I think anybody's gonna be passing by anytime soon. Six more trolls come out of the forest.

And I'm going to do my daily power wildfire shot. Ooh. Against Forest Troll. I can pick one. I mean, I've already done damage to Forest Troll 2, so I'm gonna do Forest Troll 2, even though Forest Troll 3 is hitting me. It just makes sense. Alright guys, I'm really hoping... this is the fire one, so really hoping... Wait, wait, wait. You're targeting yourself too. Okay, and I'm not gonna do that. Good. That will hit the troll. Yes! Okay. So this is going to be ongoing 5 fire damage. Save ends. Whenever the target takes this ongoing damage, each enemy adjacent to the target also takes the damage.

Ooh, okay. Sweet. Do me a favor and that will disable his regen until save ends. Anything else? Um, I think I'm gonna call it a day. I'm feeling pretty good about that one. Very nice. Forest Troll number 1 is gonna use a little power called punt. And he is going to try to rear back his foot and kick the shit out of Drak. That will hit Drak. 21 damage to Drak. Drak is going to go flying back 4 spaces. 1, 2, 3, 4. And go prone. And that will end the troll's turn. Oh, you know what? No it won't. Troll's gonna move forward to Thanos. That'll end the turn. Rude! Forest Troll number 2.

Okay, now he's gonna take the ongoing damage. And that means 5 damage to Troll number 3 as well. Sweet. Okay. So let's see. Troll number 2 is going to move up to Merrick. And try to punch Merrick in the head. God, that's gonna miss. Yeah. Yay! Hey! Troll number 2, he saved. Aw. Rolled a 20. Asshole. Let's see here. Troll number 3. He's a cock. Troll number 3. Drak landed right in front of Troll number 3. Troll number 3 is going to raise his fist in the air and try to smash Drak. He's gonna get a +2 because Drak is prone. Don't hit. Don't hit. That'd be rude. Yeah! That will miss.

Merrick, your turn. Okay. We should heal. We should heal the... Yeah, yeah. We can use this to haggle him down later though, I think. You didn't even do anything. He's took a nap. That's fucking rude. So I'm going to use something called Light of Aravindor on Forest Vault 2. Hot. And I think I haven't targeted him. That will definitely hit. So... Yeah, let's see. So radiant damage, each ally into burst, which is burst 1 within 5 squares. So that's probably nobody. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I'm going to have it land in the space that's just below Merrick right now, between him and Drak.

So that's wisdom modifier radiant damage for the enemies. Each ally into burst gains a +2 power bonus to AC until the end of my next turn. Hey! There you go. There's a little bit. And then I'm going to do a minor action at healing word. And that's basically the target. This is on Drak, so the target can spend a healing surge and regain some additional hit points. Well, that is much appreciated, I'm sure. All right, Kaluna, your turn. Hello, I'm here. We're going to use Raging Storm Spirit. Area burst 5 within 10, one creature. I'm going to smack him, hopefully. [Kaluna sings] Hit him in the face.

Or don't. That will hit. Yay! Wow! Guys, aim for their reflex. And he's bloodied. Sick. And uh- As a result- God damn it! No! No! Of being bloodied. Not loud. Shut up. Shut up. Come on. You knew this was- you knew what this was. Let's see, um... What does he have as a result of being bloodied? I know you got something, buddy. Oh! He gets to make two at-will attacks at the nearest enemy. That would be Merrick. This has backfired horribly. Ah. I'll be fine. Do you have any immediate end drops? Haven't hit enough. Now is the time. Eh, meh. He needs me. Uh, punch. Ooh, that'll hit.

Punch. That'll hit. Forty-five damage to Merrick. Remember when you said it was fine? Whatever. Thirty-five damage to Merrick. Remember when you said it was fine? How many is that total? Eighty damage to Merrick. Eighty-eight. That's not that bad. Hold on, I have ninety-three hit points. Hold on, it's fine, guys. It's fine. [Laughter] He's out! Hold on, it's fine. Let me flip through my Book of Magic. It's still good. Okay, wait. Hey, Jason. Yes. Anything happening to Merrick right now? Good question. The whole fight stops, we all turn into them. [Laughter] Like, "Whoa!" Even the Troll Scout, they're like, "Eh?" [Laughter] Uh, besides the fact that Merrick is bleeding and hurt, there's no hair growing in weird places or anything like that.

Silver lining, boom. Yeah, thank god. Silver lining. You might die, but no wolf. [Laughter] Okay, um... We'll die a hairless corpse. Uh, hang on, so... Hang his mustache. I'm just, I'm gonna use an immediate interrupt, uh, real quick. Just the kind of thing that Merrick would much rather use on somebody else, but if he's getting that low on hit points, if he's feeling that vulnerable, and he's in the middle of these three trolls, it's radiant armor, which basically means that, um, uh, if anybody within five squares of me takes damage, myself or an ally, the damage dealt is reduced to zero.

So the first one will not count, so 35 damage. Excellent. Okay. And that, uh, Kelowna? Sorry, go ahead. I think I'm good. I think I'm good. Alright. Thantos, your turn. Alright, um, I don't want to take up too much time, because all of our turns are taking forever, but, popular vote, guys, should I do a daily now and charge next, or should I do a melee now, then a daily, then charge? Whatever isn't gonna make you take damage. I'm, I'm the only one standing next to this troll, so... Exactly. Probably gonna take damage either way, let me read this real quick. Target's fine.

The start of its next turn. Okay. Alright. Mmm, I'll, I'll do force punch- wait, what's this against? It depends what's it against. Okay, I'll do force punch because I'm pretty sure that it'll hit. Maybe. It's of the two things it'll hit. Uh, I have force punch open, Jason. The punch. That will hit the troll. So, Thantos will reel back, punch the troll in probably the knee area, uh, do that many, plus two, right? Because, Kaluna's thing? Six. It's 1d6. Oh, I get to roll 1d6. Sweet, I'll do that. So 26, 27, 28. 28 damage to that guy, and, uh, he'll go back one space.

Because he is a large target. So, so you go back there. Boom. And I'll go. Over here. And six. Mmm, but then I'll, mmm, but then I can't use that good daily next turn. I'll approach someone and- actually no, no, I'll stay where I was. I can't approach someone because I have to move away after. Never mind. JK. Alright, that will bring up Drakk. Drakk is gonna stand up. And he's going to whip his longsword at, uh, he's gonna whip his longsword at troll number three. And he's gonna miss. Dude, seriously, what the fuck are we paying this guy for? Kori, you're up. And here we go.

I'm gonna do Storm of Spirit shards. That would be a daily if I'm not mistaken. It is, and it's a burst, and this is the first time I'm doing shapes, so I'm gonna try to remember what you said. Pointers, square, and it's a burst one, so I can pretty much do it wherever, because they're right next to each other, okay. Or, I could totally mess this up. That will hit both the trolls. That'll hit two and three. And... boom. Oh shit. Twenty-seven damage to the trolls. And then actually, uh, I'm going to use my action point. Mmkay. And I only get to pick one this time.

Sad day. And I'm going to do Squall Spirit. Which is lightning damage. I don't know if that's affected by your lightning thing. I wish it was. That would be cool. That is a crit! Ugh! I am. I just, I need to take it in for a minute. I don't get crits very often, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. Okay, uh, it's a commercial? It's a commercial. Oh, is that the, um, world's most... Yeah, okay, I've seen the meme. Yeah. I've seen the meme. I haven't seen the actual commercial, but I know of the meme. Oh, and the enemy adjacent takes damage too. Sweet. Oh my god. That will kill the troll!

Woo! Fuck yeah! But wait, I also have Devastating Critical. Wait, there's more! Whenever I score a critical hit, I get to roll 1d10 extra damage. Let me just... You just wanna... I just wanna kick the corpse a little bit. Boom. It is dead. And you get to do how much damage to the troll number 3 adjacent to it? It's 5. 5. Okay, but still... Oh, but I still get to do the extra... I don't think so. No, it's only whenever you hit an enemy. I don't think it will kill. Yeah, not the adjacent thing. Okay. Alright, and that is my turn. Wow, very nice. I'll be here for a week, guys.

Fucking sweet. Wow. Forest troll number 1! Come at me, bro. Don't punt me, though. That would suck. I probably shouldn't have said that out loud. Oh, dude, that was... Please, that was the plan. You're a tiny child and this is a troll and you... He could punch me. I punched him! They're trolls. They're not very smart. I think that he would go, "Punch! Punch!" This troll is going to move forward toward Thanatos and he is going to rear his foot back and try to punt this little girl. I do gotta say, I just made fun of trolls for being like, "Punch! Punch!" and then you said, "Punch!" So I'll take that with me across the court here.

Yeah. 31. That'll hit. That'll hit a lot. 20 damage to Thanatos. Ooh, that's not nearly as bad as it could have been. It could have been. He rolled two 1s. Boom. Whee! I can move that far back. Fuck you. And Thanatos is going to go prone. Oh. I don't wanna. And troll number three! Troll number three is just going to try and punch Drak, I think. That would be what troll number three would do. That will miss. Drak dodged. I'm weird. Yeah. Marek, your turn. Marek is going to use something called Searing Light against Forest Troll 3. Mm-hmm. And I'm going to click the buttons to make that happen right now.

Excellent. Love it. Love it. And it's a miss. That sucks. Okay, so that's the standard action. Minor action is Favor of the Gods. So I can pick one creature in the burst. It's a close burst 3. The next time the target misses with an attack roll before the end of my next turn, it can reroll that attack roll. So I'm going to go ahead and choose Drak. Ooh. So that if he rolls a low thing, he can try it again with an attack. Alright, sweet. Alright, so Favor of the Gods and... hmm. There's no little thing to click. We just have to remember. Just have to remember it.

Okay. Yeah. I will untarget him. And that's all I'm going to do. Alright. Kaluna, your turn. He's just going to scoot one up. Okay. Hopefully Drak is smart enough to scoot one down. And then he'll just, even though nobody's flanking with him currently, he's going to do a plain ol' stalker strike. So that way if someone is smart and moves, then they can get flanking from him. Well guess what, that'll hit. And that's 16 damage to that troll. Yay! Because fuck that troll. Uh, anything else? Um... Ugh... I guess I should heal someone. Probably... Who needs it more though?

Oh wait! Uh, is Drak within two of pig? Yes. No. Cool! No? One, two, three. Sorry. Damn it. Drak, you ruined everything. Uh, I'm going to heal Merrick because that's what Kaluna would do. Gotcha. Thank you. You're welcome. Where is my healing? Where did you go? Oh wait, no, I don't do anything for healing. Uh, you get to spend a healing surge and get six extra health. On it. Do do do do do do. Okay, done. Okay, and that'll be it. Thanos, your turn. I want to stand up. Okay. Just dumb. 'Cause now that means I have to use my move action to move and then I will use my action point to use my attack.

Alright, and you will be adjacent with troll number one and what's the attack gonna be? I am going to use Devouring Resentment. Which might end up hurting me, but I know that's what Thanos would do anyway. So this is gonna be cool guys, 'cause even if it doesn't hit, it does half damage and I want to describe something cool that's gonna happen. Um, it's actually probably my second favorite attack. That will, okay, you weren't targeting him, but that will hit the troll. Okay, so what's going to happen is Thanos is going to rear back, like for a regular punch, and her hand's gonna be glowing with that red glow that you guys are all so familiar with.

But then that glow is going to, like, centralize. Like it's going to cave in onto itself and get brighter. She is going to hit this troll and the power's almost gonna, like, leave her hand and attach itself to the troll. And it's going to do this many damage. Fourteen. Plus this many damage. Plus four, so eighteen damage. And when his turn comes around, I will finish the story. I love this attack! I'm intrigued. It's gonna hurt me like fuck though. I really wish I had been able to shift back, but uh... Drakk... Oh god, okay. Drakk is going to shift one down. And he is going to pop a daily, uh, called Blade Whirl.

Essentially he is going to swing around twice with his longsword. And make two attacks against the troll. So one... That'll hit. And... Two will hit. Twenty-four damage will bloody... Ooh no. Twenty-four damage. And then twenty-three damage as a result of being bloodied. What about the extra d6 though? Yeah, I rolled that twice too. Yeah, Jason. Five... And one. So an extra six damage. That is nothing to scoff at, guys. Um... This troll gets to try and... Gets to try and hit Drakk twice. Punch. That will hit. And he's gonna miss the second one. That pig is so punchable.

Thirty-seven damage will bloody Drakk. That will end Drakk's turn. And Kori, your turn. Okay, uh, she is going to attack this dude here. Burrowing shot. This is... This is Brianna's favorite. That'll hit the troll. I'm just gonna go for a minute while you describe this shit. So when my arrow hits the troll, it's going to burst out into hundreds. Because he's so large, possibly even thousands of beetles, and they're going to burrow their way into his skin. Very mummy-esque. Like, you know that scene? You know the one. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That will kill the troll. Nice.

So this troll is going to erupt in fucking hundreds and hundreds of beetles. And then die. Cool. Which at that point, like, he was happier. Probably. Thank you. Now we just gotta prank you. The sweet embrace. Thank you. I imagine Kalina's just like slack-jawed on the side of the field like, "Oh." Like, "Oh good. Now I know what's going to happen to me." Alright, that'll bring up troll number one. Okay. Go ahead. So the power that left Thanatos' hand is like pretty much embedded into this troll. And it is now going to explode. It's going to erupt and deal five details.

Deal 5d10 damage to itself and any creature within one space of it. Because Thanatos is a fucking idiot. And she would do this. Like, I wish that she wasn't a fucking idiot, but she is. That many. 34 damage. 34 damage to the troll and 34 damage to Thanatos. She's a fucking idiot. Wait. So where are you now with hit points? Or you got healed? I did get healed. No, I didn't get healed. I didn't get hit that hard before. I have 54 damage of my 78 hit points though. So like if healing could happen. Yeah. Right. That would be awesome. Oh no. What's wrong? It's this, guys.

Oh fuck! Damn it! He's bloody! As a result of being bloody. Wait, no. I won't die. Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay. I decided. I didn't know there was a thing you could do. I made the choice. Okay, as a result of being bloodied, the troll is- Before he does the thing, just so we don't forget. 1d6. Oh, yes. Roll 1d6. Right? That could be very important. 4. It does not. I have an interrupt and a trigger. Let's see. As a result of being bloodied, the troll is going to take two punches at Thanos. Okay. Do the first one, but then pause. That'll hit. Okay. I'm going to do you die first.

Trigger, Thanos gets hit by an attack. Thanos gains temporary hit points in the amount of damage dealt by that attack. Because Iron Mind would not help me. Plus two is not going to do shit against the third one. But you die first. Right? So- Say that to Jason because they do. I really like them. Kalin is in the chat going, "Your powers have such cool names." I'm like, "Yeah, I know! I love them!" So I will get temporary hit points based on that attack. Let's hope that that's the one that hit harder, guys. And hope this next one misses. So let's see how much damage this is going to be. 41 damage to Thanos.

That would- Okay. If not for these temp hit points, that would be enough to outright kill her. So let's- Shit. Hold on. Let's- He's- Holy shit. Okay. I might die in this next attack, guys. Fucking damn it. This is what I get for playing my character properly. Hold on. Nothing's done yet. First of all, let's- It's okay though because- No, it's not. I'm going to die. But you get 41 hit points. Okay, so. Here's the second punch. That is going to hit Thanos. 22 damage. Oh my god! Jesus Christ! I could cry right now, guys. Yeah! It put so much work into her and I was like, she's going to go down in her second fight because she's a fucking moron.

Did she hit herself harder than the monster did? Okay. That'll- Okay, that- This is going to be great for roleplay later. Oh shit, no that brings up the troll. Wait, no that wasn't his turn. That was his result. Okay, so he gets to hit me one more time. Perfect. He's going to try and punt Thanos. Just get her away from him. This is going to kill me. Never mind, I shouldn't have been so relieved. That is going to hit. 31. Hold on, hold on. Math time. That will almost outright kill Thanos. One, two, three, four spaces away and she will go prone. And am I dying or- You are dying.

Yes. Okay. I can handle that. Wow. Jesus Christ. That was really stressful. I am not going to claim this character yet. Maric, your turn. Okay. It makes sense in context though because she's an idiot, but- Just for mechanics question for me, so if she's dying, does that mean that she's going to be rolling for death saving throws? Yes. Okay. I believe though, not to mount a game, I believe if you heal me, I start at zero hit points, right Jason? Yes. I mean, that's a thing you could do if you decided not to let this 14 year old girl die. That'd be great. Alright.

Well, first move is he's going to take his morning star and he's going to say some little blessing and this light is going to come straight out of it as he swings. And it's going to move towards the troll. So it's a ranged five and it's called sacred flame. Ooh, hot. That will hit the troll. 11 damage to the troll. A bonus 1D6. Oh, 1D6. Thank you for continuously reminding me. Yes. It's very helpful. That's my job. Another two damage, good. Alright. Okay. Then I'm going to go ahead and pop an action point and do a healer's mercy on Thanatos. Because I can do that twice per encounter.

Ooh. Whew. Okay. Thanatos will pop a healing surge and be conscious again. I probably deserve that. However, I'm weakened until the end of my next turn. So I'm going to target myself. That's it. Okay. Kolloona, your turn. Okay. First things first. I'm going to try and do a thing. I'm going to use wrath of winter. Please hit. Yay. Sick. Almost a crit. Oh, thank you. I didn't even notice. 11 damage to the troll. And my extra D6. Six whole damage. And Pig gets to teleport adjacent because wrath of winter is cool. And then is Thanatos in a burst 10 from Pig? Yes. Very much so.

Yeah. Would you like a cool thing? Because I have- I would fucking love a cool thing. I assume you're going to charge back in. So let me find. It's a- I have to charge. I have to charge period. And then I'll charge back in. Well, you're getting blessing of the iron tree anyway. Sweet. One bloodied ally target gains resist five to all damage until the end of the encounter. Woo! See, it's all going according to plan, guys. I was not worried. Even for a minute. But I was going to lose the character I spent the last six months making. Anything else? Uh, no. I think I'm good.

Okay. Thanatos, do me a favor. Roll a flat D20. Okay. Can I also stand up or am I not allowed to do a minor? You are not allowed to- Ugh. Makes sense. Yeah. He needs blood. But I'm also going to stay down in a way that makes it look like I'm dead still. So that troll can just deal with that bear over there and just leave the- So that is a three. Ladies and gentlemen, so you'll get a plus five to your next attack. Okay. I'll write that down. Just do this. Drak's turn. Is that attack or damage? Just checking. Damage. One, two, three, four. Okay. You know what? Boop. He's going to flank with- Kig doesn't provide flanking because he didn't use that attack.

Well, fuck it. Whatever. Drak doesn't know that. He doesn't know you. Doesn't know where he comes from in life. Drak's going to target troll number one and swing his longsword and hit 18 damage to the troll. Extra D6. Oh, oh, oh. That will kill the troll, ladies and gentlemen. That was all you, Kaluna. That was all you. Yeah. Nicely done. Those D6s added up. Those D6s, they added up, man. Thank you. That's why it's my favorite. So that will take you guys out of combat. Um. Drak. Drak is going to look over to Thanos. Are you fucking stupid? Thanos is going to kind of like half pick herself off the ground, just like the upper half of her body, pushing up with her hands, glare at him, and then just kind of growl and start dusting off her dress.

Seriously, is- is she mentally deficient, or do you just kind of let her off her leash in fights, or what? Kaluna's going to yell, "We don't know what that means!" Merrick's going to just come forward and be like, "Look, do you see any trolls alive?" I would imagine he would just kind of like shrug after that and just, whatever. "Do you see any of us dead?" So it's- it all worked. It all worked out. For her part, Thanos does not look like scared or sad, she just looks angry. Which is usually her default, but like angrier than usual. As she's like dusting herself off and trying to pretend that didn't hurt, like fuck.

Is anybody in a bad state? Like is there- anybody need a heal check, or can everybody sort of handle it? I'm okay. Drak wouldn't accept any. I don't think. Neither would Thanos, probably. She'd just shake her head. Alright. Drak is going to move over to one of these trolls, and he's going to pull out a smaller blade and start to carve into the skull. And it would be a process, it would take a little bit. Because these are big, thick skulls on these creatures. And eventually he would extract whatever he needed brain-wise. Does anyone else want to do anything?

Are there any other troll parts that are useful? Traditionally, um... Do me a favor, roll an Arcana check. I don't think Thanos is really in the mood, but she knows. 24. Now I'll just wait for Jaime. And it's like, it needs to be... No, no, not at all. I'm still coming down from the "I almost died." Aren't you glad you waited for that? I'm glad. Nature is more poised. You got Ons, Ons, Ons, plus 6, you're like, oh. I mean, it's, you know, trolls are a creature. Can I roll nature instead? But you're asking, like, you're not asking how to dissect a troll or what parts are dangerous on a troll, you're asking what parts are valuable to what people.

Sort of, you know. What resources, I want to use all of the troll. Right. Very Native American of you. Do they make a good stew? Not at all. Surprisingly not. Let's knock a galoon at any time. Oh yeah, no. And you're grounded. And you're grounded. You're grounded. Thanos, Kaluna, and Merrick would know that... Get it? Cause Kaluna's a tree? Uh oh. You interrupted me for a pun. Six more trolls are coming up. Wish you had died! Thanos, Kaluna, and Merrick would know that there is one subset of individuals that would buy certain pieces of the troll, but they would have to be fresh.

They would be blood mages. Nope. That sounds kind of awesome. Do we know, I mean, Kori wouldn't come up with this idea, so I guess never mind, but I was gonna say, like, you guys know that Jodzi was delving into that a little bit. Jodzi could really use some troll bits, guys. Seriously? And I do mean the bits. What? I forgot to give her the unicorn one. Shit. Something something dildo joke. Pieces were there if someone else put it together. What would it mean for us if we were to be able to get this to somebody? Would we just get some good cash for it? It'd probably usually be money, something like that.

Maybe we'd be able to pay off Drack with it. Honestly, I honestly, we don't have time for this kind of, like a side-track like this. We don't have time to get anything and get money. I know it's throwing money away, but we've got bigger stuff to deal with. What do you think? I wholeheartedly agree. I'm fine with whatever. I'm basically holding in my insides right now, like with the paw on my hand. I'm fine. Hey, are you sure? Are you sure you're okay? I'm fine. Just mean mugging the group while holding in your kidney. Yeah. It's okay. These are supposed to be on the outside.

I mean, do you at least want a band-aid? I mean... It makes me think of that Brooklyn 911 bit. Like, no, they said all the bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be. It's fine. Drack, after removing the brain, is going to throw down his pack and he's going to start to grab a few things from it. And in this bowl he is going to take some of that. He's going to have these mixtures of powders, things like that. And he is going to start to work on Kaluna's cure here. How long... No, go ahead. Corey, seeing this, she'd probably walk up as he's making it.

How long is it going to take her to be fully recovered? About two days. Just very... Not even looking at Corey so much as just working on the thing. I guess Kaluna would probably come over too, very begrudgingly, just like "ugh." But they know it's for them, so... And Bella, do we need to not move still? Nah, should be fine. You're going to get real sick though. Kaluna's just going to give him the flattest look, like as if I'm not already fucking sick as shit. Would you say that? No, just like giving him that look. Just the look, okay. You got worms. It's funny now because it was a cure.

Yeah. Though it was kind of funny already because it was. It was. Like of the ways to go out in Theria, that was definitely Kaluna's way. It really... So what do we need to do now? How long is the cure going to take to get together? Can we just take off? Can we keep moving? As you're speaking, he is going to... There's this pulpy liquid that is... There's this pulpy liquid that is going to be in this bowl, and he's going to offer it up Kaluna. Drink this. Kaluna's going to wrinkle their nose, and they're going to... Again, very begrudgingly, they're going to reach out.

They're still going to try and stand as far away from him as physically possible. You know, doing that like awkwardly and like, "Eh." But they'll take it and they'll sniff at it, I regret to say. Do me a favor, roll a perception check. I don't really want to. Ooh. That's a 30. This is one of the foulest smelling things that Kaluna has ever smelled in their lives. Good. That means it must be healthy. Yes, that is the rule. They're going to... Oh god, they can't hold their nose! Oh no, they're going to try and chug it. So Kaluna is going to drink this, and there's little...

Think of them as the marshmallowy bits in your breakfast cereal. That would be the pulpy brain matter. Cool. And this tastes... Unpleasant doesn't cover it. This is terrible. And while you're drinking... Okay, you're going to get more violently ill than you've ever been in your entire life in about two days, but you should vomit up most of the worms. The rest of them will just die off naturally. You will wish that you died. The best dark-willed area. I know. I guess after Kaluna finishes it, I imagine they're going to have... Their face is going to be scrunched up just because it tastes so bad.

They're going to try and look unimpressed again, as they probably still have a mouthful that they're just like, "Gotta finish it, gotta swallow it." So they're just trying to make a face at him, but they can't because it just tastes so bad. After Kaluna drinks this, he has performed all of his actions. Alright. I want my money, and I want to leave you people now. Kaluna will grab their coin pouchy thing. So you are going to pay this kindly Warforged. Begrudgingly. Kaluna will do that somewhat passive aggressive, but for Kaluna it's more aggressive. Just slamming it at him, just like, "Eh.

Fuck you. Take this dirty money." But it's money, so he doesn't care. Picking up off the ground like a dirty whore. Unless you stop him, he's going to take this money and instantly start walking away from you people. Kaluna will wave goodbye happily. Technically we gotta follow him because we gotta go back to the horses. Yeah, is he going back to the horses or is he going off at like Beeline? He's just... Okay, here's the thing. He rode in with you, I would say with Kori because she had the largest horse. Oh, that poor horse. I know! He's not riding back with you.

You are getting so many apples when we get back. As many apples as you have broken ribs. So twelve. He's just going to trudge off away from you people, but not in the direction of the horses. Just away from you. Okay. I mean... Eighteen actually. Horses have eighteen pairs of ribs. I mean, Merrick's going to shrug and be like, "Thanks for your help." Just not even trying to get his attention, but just like, "Thanks." Yeah, no real response. Just kind of raise his hand back at the party and not as like, "Goodbye!" Just like, "Eh." He's kind of a dick. Yeah, no.

Really? Kind of? Okay, so Merrick's going to tend to Kaluna and make sure that they're okay and help them deal with it, even though it's very unpleasant. Poor thing. Let's all sort of get back to the horses as quickly as possible and just carefully, too. To make sure we don't run into anything else. But we've got to go. So you guys are going to be continuing on your way? I think we should. Does anybody have any other...? I mean, the only thing that I can say is that at this point I'm going to need some rest. I'm going to have to get some powers back. Should we head back to the lantern and sort of beat Drakk there?

Yeah, we can pass him on horseback and just slip him off on the way to mountain. Oh my god, that would be so funny. Oh, let's just go really slow and wave as we want. Kaluna flips him off with their hands and their feet. That's impressive. I can't do that. I've seen someone who can do that. So that's the plan. That's the plan. That's what we do. We get the horses as long as there's no problems. We head back to the lantern in Aldmoor and if we pass Drakk, we flip him off and/or wave with a big smile. Or flip him off with a big smile. Yeah, no, totally. Whatever.

All of those things. And then we've got to get some rest. So does all that happen without any incident whatsoever? I would say that you are going to make it back to your horses and you are going to... That was exactly what happened when the troll hit me twice and I was like, "Oh, he gets another turn." I would say that you guys are going to get back to your horses and you are going to continue back to the town of Aldmoor. I would also say that that is a good time for us to stop for the evening. We killed three trolls! No deaths. In the next session, I believe you guys are going to be making your way into the Heysan Mountains and seeing what you can find.

Sweet! We'll finally do that thing we've been meaning to do for a while. Yeah, what you guys have been meaning to do. I still have no idea where the fuck we're going. Well, why we're going. I know we're going in the Heysan Mountains. Other than that, I'm just along for the ride. I think now's the time, honestly, now that we've sort of been through a little bit of bonding and sort of weird little sidetracks, I think now that we're back at the lantern and we're going to have to take off again, this is the time to sit around the fire and be like, "Okay, last chance.

Does anybody not want to do this?" "Thantos, you kind of need to know what's going on." Right, yeah. And, you know, otherwise... I was just thinking, it would be really funny. Thantos isn't religious at all, like most gifts of ry aren't. But it would be hilarious, just like, "I think I saw the Raven Queen!" "She looked just like you!" "And you were there! And you were there!" Yeah, that'll be fun. More roleplay heavy episode next time. We need to do the troll thing. And I'm glad, because I like fighting, even though that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

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