The More Things Change...: Part 1

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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Um, I think they mean us. Oh, ****. Um. [cough] Did. With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday only on Peacock. Howdy folks, Brianna here and I know you all read that title and you're all super excited to hear some great group one nonsense. But before we get going, I just want to tell you guys about Battle Bards. Right now, if you go to battlebards.com, you can get a 25% discount on every single track. That is over 500 tracks to choose from. Everything from battle music to bardic songs, NPC voices, including ones in other languages, and a ton of really awesome sound effects.

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And Rob. I'm Rob, I play Malchus Grimness, Tiefling Warlock. Let's open up on the fourth of Thorim. You are just outside the tiny town of Durn Hollow. Malchus Grimness and Tavine Brightheart are standing face to face with Theo. Weapons brandished. And Theo is sporting new armor. Is there anything you'd like to say to Theo before we start? If you're determined to have things go this way, Theo, I just want you to know we won't hold back. Tavine's just going to take a really deep breath and lower her spear pointed at Theo, setting her jaw. Malchus brandishes his dark warlock sword.

Theo is going to level his dad's sword at Malchus. Just remember, you guys asked for this. So be it. Okay, everyone do me a favor, roll initiative. 17, that's low for me. I don't like it. It's higher than Theo. I'm murdering him first. Oh God. I'm sorry. All right, Tavine, you are first. All right, so she has her spear lowered and she's actually going to kind of lower her head and like narrow her eyes at him as she actually kind of draws the spear almost like in line with her body and then she's actually going to charge up. That is going to miss Theo. So Tavine is going to lower her head and charge at Theo and just barely miss him.

All right. So like clash into a shield or something? Is he holding a shield? Yeah, it's essentially just this huge bulky armory. He's going to raise his helmet. It's a little oversized. He's going to raise that the last second and just sort of catch the brunt of this in his shield. She's just going to, she collides with the shield kind of. She's just kind of not quite growl, but definitely make a upset sound. Malchus, your turn. Malchus is going to kind of, he's going to do like little like circling and dude combat sidestep stuff. And he's going to kind of skirt around Theo and end up there-ish.

Can't quite get flanking with my movement, but he's kind of on the other side from Tavine. And as he, as he kind of zooms in his dark evil warlock sword bursts into flames, black flames, dark, dark ones, warlock ones. He's going to use his blazing doom of the void. So that's going to be. Oh, a whiff. That's terrible. This, I used warlock fire and everything. Didn't take. That is going to miss Theo. His armor is going to catch this blade and absorb all of that damage. This suit of armor for Theo is, is working overtime here. Don't think you'll hold out forever against us.

Theo is going to whip around target Malchus and try to slash at him. I think that hits. Oh God. Okay. 17 damage to Malchus. I'm going to do a reflexive hell strike and scorch him with warlock fire for five plus my charisma modifier damage, fire necrotic damage, no attack roll necessary. Flexive hell strike and it goes 11 damage to Theo. Theo scorcho. Tavine, your turn. So as my bonus action, I'm going to go ahead and call it like a dog. Okay. So call spirit companion. So she's going to lower her voice and you just hear her kind of like whisper something in elven underneath her voice and I need a token for him.

What animal is it? It's a dog. Yep. That's actually where I wanted him. Sweet. That works perfectly. All right. So she says that and you see this kind of like swirling blue mist start to like swirl it from the ground and then the dog kind of just materializes and he's there and then spirit of autumn is reaping. So so she whispers again in elven something and a spirit of a robed figure is going to like appear very dark, come up from the ground with a giant scythe and it's going to swing. That is going to miss Theo. Miss he takes half damage still. Okay. That is going to bloody Theo as a result of being bloodied.

Do I get to finish mine out? He's also vulnerable to to all damage, save ends and each ally within 10 squares of me regain five hit points. Okay. Oh cool. Thank you. As a result of being bloodied, Theo is going to crumple down to his knees and start to uncontrollably vomit. That's a terrible move. That is going to take you out of combat. I didn't even get around to using the ice on him. Sorry, Malchus. Tevien's going to put her spear like the butt of it in the ground and kind of lean on it looking at Theo like, should I help him? And then look back at Malchus.

What's Theo look like at the moment? What else is going on? He's just wrapping up. Catching his breath, very, very winded, catching his breath and kind of taking his arm, which is still coated in armor and just kind of like wiping at his mouth, like furiously trying to trying to get any excess, like his helmet so oversized that there may have been some splashback on the inside of it as he as he went down. In your defense, we did fail to get through a few of the blows. I, I, I don't know if I'm cut out for this, guys. Ah, that's OK. Get hit enough times, build a nice layer of calluses.

Or you did really good. All things considered, ghost wolves, hellish fire. But that's all we run into is orcs and dragons and I have yet to see bandits or a pickpocket. A pickpocket would be great. Not losing your enthusiasm already, are you? No, I'm. I can do this. I mean, the armor's nice. It's just. Do you have a rag? Do you mean, you know, pull out a little scrap of fabric and she's also going to kneel down and help him up, you know, take a hand under one of his arms and pull him up and offering him the rag? Come on. You did good for what we threw at you.

Right, Malchus? Many people would be dead by now, so yes, I will say good. I mean. Yeah. All right, yeah. I mean, I did just take your best shots, so. That's something, yeah. Malchus kind of releases his sword into black mist and says, well, we've worked up an appetite. Onward and forward then, the town's just over. Just over there. Yeah. I think that's a great idea. Theo's now holding the massive helmet in his arms, kind of cradling like a football. He OK, imagine a human turtle. He is so armored head to toe that he can kind of he's. Did anyone see A Christmas Story?

Yes. He's kind of waddling, like just like it's he's he's so immobilized by this armor, like it like he he has to like double step to keep up with you guys. What a trooper. It makes this ungodly rattle when he when he walks. But yeah, he'll he'll keep step with you guys and and just kind of like kind of kind of looks like someone wearing like a sumo suit, something like that, like his head's just kind of like popping up and yeah. Toveen will offer. Do you want any help getting a little bit of that off or are you just trying to build up some extra extra endurance there?

It takes forever to put it back on, so I'm just going to go ahead and wear it until we go to sleep. Fair enough. You know, you can ask us to help you put it on and take it off if you need to. I mean, I'm not shy. I'm assuming Malthus isn't shy about helping people with armor. If you need a hand, we can. Can I can I tell you something? And he's going to lean over to Malthus. I'm not wearing much under here. It's very hot. You're on your own, Theo. And he actually just starts trudging toward town. Does Toveen hear that? Roll a perception check. Standing right there.

Right, but he like he purposefully like leaned in and whispered. Just remember guys, I'm not trained in this. Not quite, no. So his secret's safe with Malthus. Over now. I just picture Theo in a thong. That's that's. Leopard print. Man-chee. The old banana hammock. Just Toveen's going to go ahead and grab her bag and, you know, kind of shoulder it and start, I guess, walking in the direction of Malthus, following along, kind of like, you sure you don't need any help with anything, Theo, anything at all. And very out of breath, kind of like double timing. Nope.

I got it. I got it. So does Toveen seem extra enthusiastic as we approach Durnhollow? She would definitely be a little bit more attentive, kind of looking ahead, trying to see maybe how much it's changed because it's been a while since she's been to Durnhollow. Maybe not necessarily like extra enthusiastic because she's already, you know, fairly easygoing and happy in general. But she is definitely doing that awkward look around where you're like leaning to the side to try to look around buildings, almost like when you're playing a video game. You know that like, hmm, hmm.

And seeing if she notices anybody that she recognizes from so many years ago. But otherwise, she's going to stay pretty quiet, mostly just following along and watching. Do me a favor, both of you guys run a perception check. Oof. Eh. It's okay, work the ones out outside of combat. Yes. Yeah. Toveen is going to notice a bunch of changes. The old brothel appears to be under construction. It looks like some unfortunate mishap may have befallen it. The town itself actually looks, I don't know, brighter. There are people moving around. There are there's a lot more activity than usual.

Durn Hollow for years is just kind of famous for hosting a cavalcade of shiftless layabouts. And there appear to be people with like, you know, bright eyes and chipper faces like walking around town actually like trading with one another and working on things. You can see lots of construction going on. It looks like they're either adding additions to homes or repairing damage or combination of the two. There actually appears to be some positive activity in Durn Hollow right now. Haven't been here since before the war. Same here. Seems like seems like things have picked up.

Definitely looks less under oppression than I remember. That's for sure. Indeed. Shall we see if we can find room at the inn or do you have anyone you could get in contact with? Anyone we could stay with? Well, just going to kind of scratch your head. I did used to live near here, you know, in a farm on sort of the outset, but I don't haven't kept in touch with them and I don't know who's in charge of the household at this point. So like, I mean, we can swing by knock on the door, see if anybody's home. Maybe he'll remember me. Wouldn't hurt. I suspect that if anyone remembers me, it'll be slightly less pleasant.

So let's go with your contacts, not mine. I bet Taveen's going to like raise an eyebrow and be like, you'll definitely have to tell me why. Sometime. Sometime. So you're looking to go outside of town? Well, I'm assuming where she lived was like farming, so it's kind of maybe at the outskirts of town. Yeah, it's going to be more... It's not going to be in the middle because it was a farm. Well, yes, no. So yeah, that's an option. You wouldn't be overjoyed at this. It's like you're almost to town. It's like, okay, we're walking. All right. Okay. But yeah, we can.

Yeah, let's do that. So are you just bypassing town completely and just heading that way? Because it would kind of be two different roads. It would be the one that leads kind of right down Main Street and then the one that would lead toward the farming areas and the outskirts of town. Well, she'd probably actually turn as we approach town and be like, well, it's going to be a little bit further and look at Theo and Malchus. Do you guys want to pause, catch your breath, maybe grab a bite to eat or drink before we head out to town? Because if they're not there and we can't find room out there, we're going to have to walk all the way back.

What time of day is it? This is like afternoon, just mid-afternoon. So you got plenty of daylight left. Yeah, but we don't have plenty of Theo left. This is true. Now, he has bathed in sweat, by the way. And the thing is- She's not trying to offend him. She's just being polite. Right. I don't think he'd take offense. She said yes. Because it's getting a little cool outside because it is fall now and you can start to kind of feel that chill in the air every once in a while. The sun is still out, though, so he's essentially in a big Dutch oven. Fair enough. Let's go get some food before we move forward.

That okay with you, Theo? He's just going to shake his head vigorously, yes. Okay. Then let's hit the tavern, I guess, and see if they got something we can at least eat real quick and then head out of town. So the Honest Harlot is pretty much the place of congregation in Durn Hollow. That would be the inn, that would be the bar, that would be the local establishment to buy prepared foods. It is a large building that is still going through renovations but looks pretty good. There is a lot of work put into this. And you are going to see a great deal of ladies just sort of hanging around the entrance here, like just before you walk in.

And as you approach, they're going to start to try and sidle up to all three of you, really. They're not discriminating, just to see who might be interested. Quick question, are they all human? Half of? Oh, no, no, no. A majority are human, but there is a single female dwarf, there is a male elf, and there's even a female drow. Can she do a perception check just to see if she recognizes by any chance any of them? Go ahead and roll a perception check because it's been a while. Nope. Nope, don't recognize anybody here. So essentially, as you're walking up, they're going to ask you if you...

It's like, "Hey, you want to get a room?" All of them are just going to just see if you're interested, just cast out a few lines. No, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, Malkus just kind of holds up a hand and doesn't necessarily say anything, but just kind of gives them kind of the no wave. What's Theo up to? What's he thinking? The ladies aren't as pressure-celly with Theo. It's like, "Hey, sweaty guy, do you want to..." It's just more like he's just going to kind of hold up a hand and is like, "No, thank you." First of all, he's way too shy to ever go for that.

But on top of that, they're not really like, "Oh, come on." They're just going to be like, "Okay." And it's like, "We didn't really want to anyway." It's not that Theo's ugly, it's just he's not... Sweaty. Yes, he's very sweaty. Walking in, there is going to be someone that Malkus recognizes, actually. Oh, dear. There's going to be a lady behind the bar, and she's kind of like cleaning glasses and like just tending bar. The bar is actually pretty large. That takes up a majority of the inside. It's this huge rectangle bar that has a number of stools at it.

So instead of just a straight line, they have capacity for a hell of a lot of people here. And there are some people sitting down, having a drink, and she's kind of like just sort of jogging back and forth, tending to everybody. The last time Malkus saw her was going away with Thoril, actually. Like spending a little time with him. And she has just... do me a favor, roll a perception check. Let's see if you would notice a few things here. Okay. Oh. That's much better. So this is interesting because if Malkus didn't know better, it would look like she has ever so slightly a belly, which in her line of work isn't incredibly common.

And at the same time, it's something that you'd usually hide, something like that. She is going to look up from the bar and lock eyes with Malkus. And just for a second, kind of narrow her eyes. And then just go back to what she was doing. But every once in a while, just kind of side-eyeing Malkus. Just sort of like... almost like it's like, "Where do I know him from? Why do I know this person?" Okay. I mean, we came to eat, so Malkus will kind of lead everyone to a few seats. And out of weight to be served, you go and fetch someone. It's a pretty full service place.

You wouldn't be sitting there long before someone comes. Are you sitting at the bar, did you say? Or you're just kind of sitting down at a table? Where is it less crap? Table. I was going to say, Theo may need a table because I don't think he can climb onto a bar and have the armor. Yeah, the stool might be bad for his health. Might be a little tough for him. Yeah. He may need like a bench to fall onto. So a table it is. Yeah. Theo would collapse at the first sign of a chair. Just kind of flop. It sounds like he has tied, loosely, several pots and pans to his body.

And he is going to collapse into this chair with a grunt and a sigh. Just kind of ugh. And after a few seconds, someone is going to come over. It is a human female. She's going to come over and ask you guys if you want anything to drink or eat. That is just like common protocol here. Both, please. I'll just take a water or do you have any, like a nice tea? Sure, yeah. We could do that. Okay. Just take a nice tea and whatever you have hot, something hot to eat specifically. That's an important distinction. Where we're at, yes. I was going to go somewhere with that.

Damn it. Yeah. She's going to look at Malkus. What about you? Ah, just bread for everyone. Breads, cheeses, what have you. Something that will feed three. Okay. Sweaty? Anything to drink? Anything at Theo. Theo's going to just kind of like, oh, that's going to, you can tell that kind of hurts him just a little bit. It's like, oh. Like maybe he thought it's like, I am pulling this off. Like that type of thing. Water's fine. It's fine. And she's just going to note it and she's going to go back to the bar and get some refreshments and food. Is there anything you guys would like to talk about while this is being done?

Malkus. We got a few minutes if you want to maybe explain why you're potentially not welcome here or is that for a later boarder, I guess, quiet party? I mean, it's, it was a different dirt now back then, at least from what it seems walking in. We had a bit of run in with the local, shall we say, I can't find a good word, the local bigots. So a few lengths of rope later and they pushed their luck a little too far trying to exact their agenda on us. Theo's going to chirp in, you hanged them? No, no, they attempted to hang us. Decision they ended up regretting.

Quick question, Jason. When that happened, Teveen wouldn't have been in a dirt hollow, correct? No, no, no. Okay. I didn't think so. I was like, would she have heard of this if she was living there? This would have been before. Okay. That's why I thought. This was before the time jump? No. No after? No, that's right. That's right. This would have been in game. This would have been about a month-ish ago. A lot of history. So you've seen the kinds of powers we have at our disposal. Occasionally there is some amount of collateral damage. With that, she's actually going to kind of look over at Theo and go, yeah, I may have some of my own unintentionally.

By this time, the waitress is going to bring back, she's going to bring back your beverages and they kind of have this spread of like cheeses and breads and things. Very fancy for a whorehouse. Very fancy. Theo's going to have a hard time moving his neck. He's got a lot of like Keaton Batman neck. Like he can't really like move it. So he just kind of has to like pick the glass up and move his whole upper body backward, like an action figure and drink. So every time he wants to take, like every time he wants to take a sip of like cool water, it's just kind of like, oh, like it looks almost painful.

Theo, I'm sure. Yeah, we could help you out of that. At least the top part if you need it. He's going to, he's going to vigorously shake his head no, no, no, I got it. Yeah, let her help you out of the top part. And Malchus just kind of leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. Nah, it's getting comfy. Honestly I'm getting used to it. What a trooper it hurts to be. Yeah, as she's looking at it and then she's going to push some of the like food over. Why don't you go ahead and eat up then Theo? He's going to reach out and the gauntlets on his hand kind of make like grabbing things a challenge.

So he's just kind of like claw at this plate like a monster. And then just kind of squeeze down and awkwardly grab a hunk of bread and like some cheese, but it's kind of like sticking out of his fist and like he can raise his arm and then just sort of drop it onto his face. So he's like a monster right now. Pretty much. How is the armor, like are there any like quick straps that she could just reach over and like maybe like tug on to like loosen something at least? It's pretty much all like it, a lot of it like fastens on the sides and like there's it kind of like hunkers down in the back at all kind of like it kind of like slides over and like kind of like dragon scales almost where it just kind of like this this part then this and it's kind of like add-ons until he can't move really.

He's going to speak up after a couple of seconds like after he like kind of awkwardly uses his tongue to grab the bit of cheese that fell on his cheek just kind of like ahhhh. And after he gets it, so are we staying the night? He's kind of like looking around. While we were thinking of heading out maybe to the farm where I lived on for a while and see if maybe if it's the same owners and same family we might be able to at least you know bed down there for the night and recover. You can get out of the armor and actually you know eat and drink maybe wash up but if you prefer to stay here I'm sure one of the lovely ladies can help you out of the armor if you don't want me to.

Farms that farm sounds nice I really I haven't I haven't seen a farm in a while. Okay my next question is Theo do you want to get out of that armor before we make that trek? No no it's a home stretch we're almost there. They like it builds character. Working on the endurance got it. Tavina is just going to go ahead and kind of eat and drink for the rest of time kind of just looking around at the people seeing who's there and about. There's a lot of activity here actually back in the day the Honest Harlot was pretty much just a place where slavers and racists congregated and drug addicts I don't I don't want to leave out the drug addicts.

Ah memories. But a lot of these people appear to be from out of town or just stopping through enjoying many of the same luxuries that these slavers and racists and drug addicts did but much more wholesomely they're not there to hurt anybody they're just there to they're just there to get a little company for the evening grab a quick bite a nice bath and then they're back on the road that type of thing. I would imagine you guys would would be would be sitting here for a little while just just kind of catching your breath maybe like a couple hours something like that.

Yeah Malkus will start in on beers if if it seems like people want to linger. Theo would Theo would probably want to catch his breath rehydrate. Yeah. Taveen's not going to push moving out soon because she doesn't know if it's even gonna be worth it once they get to the farm. So she's just kind of like you know when you guys are ready because if it doesn't pan out we're gonna have to trek back is her thoughts. To clarify Theo's not having any alcohol. Theo's done with alcohol for a little while. Yeah don't shy. Yeah he had a bad experience not that long ago and yeah.

So some time's gonna go by and I want everyone to do me a favor and roll a perception check. Hey! Oh very nice. Um Theo. Beer really sharpens Malkus' senses. Hey! Respectable. That very rarely can be said about Theo. A figure is going to walk through the swinging doors of this establishment. This dwarf with bright red hair is going to look very familiar to the party. Duncan. Yes. What would you do upon walking into the Honest Harlot? What do I see when I walk in? Give me a perception check. Ooh okay. Not much. Walking in Duncan would have to walk past a few of the reputable ladies and gentlemen outside the Honest Harlot and past the swinging doors and then walking in it would be this packed establishment.

Mostly mostly a bar in the downstairs and Duncan would notice a lot of the changes and how the place looks a lot less burned down since the last time he was here. Okay don't notice anybody in particular. Wait wasn't that Rodswell? Yes. But Duncan did roll through looking for the party at one point. Yeah he was looking for the party. Yeah okay so that still makes sense. Yeah that still makes sense. Still makes sense. Don't have to edit. Does he uh so he doesn't recognize anybody? No not at first no. But the party would recognize him. Ah okay. All except for Timmy.

Right so uh after walking in Duncan uh kind of looks at the ladies and he kind of tugs on one like tugs on uh what are they wearing like what would I tug on? Well they're wearing clothes. Most of it's it's it's pretty sheer um that type of thing like uh like a nightgown type of thing just just showing off as much skin as possible without just being you know uh indecent let's say. So I give a gentle tug not like a violent like I'm gonna rip off like a excuse me like that kind of tug to just the closest one I can reach. So this drow lady is going to look down at Duncan and and kind of narrow her eyes just for a second thinking like you're trying to take an article of clothing off or something just because you know there's kind of a no touching until payment type of thing.

And then she's going to she's gonna smile after after she realizes like oh he's he's he's harmless. And she's gonna bend down much like you would with like like a kindergartner that type of kid gloves type of thing. Is there something I can do for you? Hi I was looking first off uh my name is Duncan and I put out my hand like a handshake. And she's going to she's gonna hold out her hand again like oh you're adorable that that type of thing. You you probably don't recognize me I I cut my beard I'm I'm I'm kind of a big deal you know I'm pretty famous around these parts.

Big in Winterhaven really big in Winterhaven. Uh musician actually artist artist. She's gonna tuck some hair back behind her ear like oh interesting that that type of thing just very like very to anyone else I think they they take it as like you're you're being very pandering right now and that's that's not that's not cool. But it's it's it's showing too much interest and a complete stranger. I want to point out by the way since he has not been solicited I don't think Duncan really has any idea what they are like he doesn't. So uh he goes uh I'm actually I'm actually looking for my friends um one of them is a king he's a minotaur king.

I like reaches his hand up as high as a can and kind of jumps like this high like he's trying to show how tall he is and he has horns. And then um there's a lady she's kind of mean but uh and then there's a red guy and he has devil horns and then there's a lion and I was looking for him and I just want to know if he'd seen him here. And is now has not been able to like watching here this whole time. I would have met yeah like yeah. Malchus kind of is like walking up on the scene he goes is the one with the devil horns about this high and has dark magic.

And uh Duncan Duncan sorry Duncan looks over at Malchus and he goes oh Malchus hey I think she's into me just hang on a second. So you want me to spring for it for you I can afford it I can get it for you. You have all my money you don't you don't okay you know what it's over it's late uh ma'am yeah you've been very kind you've very kind thank you so much I'll uh are you gonna be around here you're gonna hang around here for a little bit? Oh I'll be right here if you want to come find me. Okay um maybe we can uh maybe we can talk later get to know each other a little bit I'm gonna go see my devil friend I'll I'll see you later okay.

He's going to stand back up and sort of sort of ruffle Duncan's hair. Aw. You know when I take it back I'm not paying for that that's weird. Duncan just has like the goofiest shit eating grandma's face right now. And he just kind of gives her a little wink and he turns. Oh she'll wink right back. And uh turns to Malkus and he just goes "Malkus Grimness." Duncan Joybottom. Long time how long has it been like a year? How long how long have I been gone? Time flies but not quite that quickly. Can you uh why don't you since you have all my money anyway do you mind buying me a drink here?

Uh yeah Malkus Malkus signals for just like another round like a. Yep she would uh she would get on it. So where where's everybody where's everybody else where are the guys where's the where's the crew? Well that is. Wait wait wait oh is that wait hang on. GINWARD! Duncan Duncan. Don't tell him here don't tell him here. He noticed that he hadn't turned around yet so he thought he could get like get the jump on him. Don't say anything okay. He's uh he's not with us. He's right there. What what are you stopping at? He's pointing at the minotaur sit at the table.

Right there. Something kind of creeps up on what he believes to be Yinward. Oh no. And um you have a thing that you did in like high school with the girls where you kind of squeezed them on the sides like a little bit. Oh like yeah like you you kind of like poke your fingers into their sides. Yeah yeah make them jump a little. Yeah oh assault yes. Yeah yeah assault yeah. Assault. He didn't do it to random girls he did it to like your girlfriend. I think this is Yinward shut up. No it's not. Got it. Is it going to stop me or is Malchus going to let this happen?

No no Malchus is just gonna just gonna watch it happen. Okay so uh uh yeah so Dunghun goes up to Yinward and he he takes two fingers and like pokes him on each side of his of his routine. I was drinking tea and um I promptly spill it. Luckily it's like lukewarm at this point I'm like oh oh hello small dwarf man um hi and she's gonna be looking at Dunghun. Dunghun just looks like confused and as she turns around and kind of leans over to Malchus and like gets him down to his level a little bit and and kind of goes why is Yinward dressed like a girl? Dunghun this is Tevinne.

She joined us a little ways back but uh it was after you left. Oh uh hey hey hey Tevinne hi and Dunghun just like slowly puts out his hand. Fist sorry fist fist. Oh fist okay uh so she's gonna kind of look at the fist and instead of like I'm assuming you do do you do it like front to front like knuckles to knuckles? Yeah front to front yeah okay so she's gonna kind of like look at how you have it and sort of you know obviously your hands much bigger like gently do it and be like uh Malchus a friend of yours I'm guessing I hope. Malchus nods um okay uh known Dunghun for quite a while.

Um ways ways back but now you managed to find your way to us again. Theo the second he sees Dunghun like just before the little rib tickling thing he is going to have a very excited expression on his face Dunghun and he's gonna try to stand up but the armor kind of it's too heavy to for him to get up by himself from a seated position so he's just kind of pelvic thrusting at the air. And we're just talking the whole time? Yeah like he's gonna keep attempting like he's just like almost got it and just kind of like like roll to and fro just kind of like get momentum going.

So so after that little awkward exchange uh Dunghun goes oh my god is that is that Theo? He looks him up is that Theo? A little more armored than uh previously but yes. And Dunghun goes over and just grabs him by the arm and pulls him up like just mightily and gives him a big old hug and like slaps him on the back just just like really excited to see him you know. Yeah he'll wrap his arms around Dunghun. Wow Theo you what I tell you Malkin I told you he had a mighty warrior in him look at him look at this armor look look at this man. Oh I'm looking. Did I not tell you Theo?

I knew you had it in you man I believed in you from the beginning. Oh shucks stop. You you must have became a master thief so quick. Oh yeah well we'll get to that um is there a chair sitting like I'm asking you is there a chair at the table already that I can sit at? Yeah totally. Okay so um so Duncan just kind of goes out over to the table and sits in the chair and oh is this I'm sorry is this Ginward's chair or do I need to get up? Theo's gonna kind of look away like oh like he looks like who wants to tell him? You can sit there Duncan but I think Malkus should explain some things.

Is he with the lady upstairs or where's the cat where's uh the the lion or him? Duncan there's been there's been some amount of division since you took off. That could have mattered I mean. Well I believe it was Yinward who left us first right? We we didn't agree on how to go about the whole minotaur dwarf conflict. He seemed frustrated that we were picking our methods slowly as we were and being anxious about who we built alliances with so he went off his own way. I'm not sure if he intends to actually march on his home without us but he lost his patience for our more measured and careful approach.

Suun was struggling with something of his own. He um he'd been frustrated with the way we handled many different things and his desire to build you know an honorable reputation. We have been a little too pragmatic for his liking. Okay so as you're telling me all this like you can just see my my face get longer and longer just like shaking shaking my head. What about what about Diana? Well Diana left us too. It's been a known issue that she's been struggling with her own demons but she came to a point where she felt that she needed to stay off the road and I don't know find herself is the right thing to say but certainly to reevaluate things.

So she went back to actually stay with my mother. Oh uh let's see I think there's a letter here from her too. Malchus produces it and slides it out on the table. Duncan stares at the I guess it's an envelope would it be an envelope Jason like a package of some sort? Yeah like a little package because it's it's bundled with uh it's bundled with an amulet. Okay. So Duncan just kind of looks at it at the table and doesn't say anything for a minute. He reaches up and he grabs it and he just holds it doesn't open it. So and he looks at he looks at he looks at Davina he goes to Taveen right is your name?

Yes Taveen and she's gonna nod and yes. I I I don't want I I'm I'm gonna try really hard here because I don't want to make it sound like I don't know much about you yet. I'm I don't want to offend you or anything I'm just curious what if everyone's gone what are you what are you doing now here guys like what is what's what what what are you here what because now because you kept sending me directions and I eventually caught up to your path and they said that you're you know you're coming no one what are you guys doing? Well are you gonna find are you gonna find you inward are you gonna find like what what's the plan?

Duncan I don't think the n-word necessarily wants to be found right now he has his own things to do he has his own ways he is thinking about solving them that some of us couldn't necessarily be a part of. I don't myself and Taveen I'm not sure if Taveen wants to try to touch base with contacts here but our destination for now is well Winterhaven. I was it I just don't get it I don't get why he'd just leave was it was it the minotaur like what it was the minotaur right is that what it was? Theo would kind of raise his hand and it's all clunky and noisy.

What do you want Theo? I don't know why. Duncan's just in a place right now you know like he's just. Theo's gonna look like like shocked like you like a dog like you thought was really friendly and like snaps and was like oh god like just like. I'm sorry Theo I'm sorry okay I'm sorry I'm in my feelings okay sorry. Oh no it's I I understand um there was this thing with the drow and he's gonna kind of look at Malkus. In I mean I know there was but in what regard are you talking? Well he wanted to work with him. Oh yes that's what I perhaps that was too nondescript.

We disagreed on which alliances to build and which factions were trustworthy. Yinward was prepared to side with the drow. Some number of us were less so prepared to do that. We wanted to try to build a coalition with the elves and with Winterhaven. To wait what to start another war? Well we were working under the assumption that we were going to help Yinward get his throne back so I suppose that is kind of doing that. That's one of those things I tried not to think too hard about because well we've fought alongside each other for a long time. It was it was something I was trying to push through with him as a favor let's say.

They're just they're just using him I mean I don't. Theo would kind of like lean in as close as he can but just kind of like they wanted us to kill people. Hence my questioning attitude. Why do we need to fight another war? Why do we need to do this again? Like I know that he had a problem like the minotaur and dwarves had a problem we just fought together and he got along better with the dwarves than he did the minotaurs anyway. The minotaurs thought he was a joke at least the dwarves joked around with him I don't know I just whatever we're going we're going to Winterhaven.

That's the plan for now. Be a way for us to at least get in touch with our roots see if maybe there's still something to fight for. I've been ready to go home for a long time now if we want to go to Winterhaven I'm can I is there still a place for me here? Malchus kind of like throws his brow at you and says I wouldn't have kept leaving directions for you if there hadn't been. Theo's gonna sit up and look like like startled like he just like he just figured something out. Do you think they'll knight me in Winterhaven? Of course they will Theo. Just yeah Duncan says that not not a not a second of like thinking involved just looks like them instead of saying well of course yes.

We'll have to perhaps pad your heroic resume a little bit with Winterhaven specific deeds but it's not totally outside of the realm of possibility. He's gonna have this ear to ear grin and just kind of like settle back in his chair just kind of crunch that just kind of like all of the armor settling again. Like pots and pans being dropped on the floor. Exactly just like gently. So Duncan Duncan is sitting across the table from Tevin and just kind of looks up and looks up at her and he's just kind of staring and and you know obviously we all know what Tevin looks like but Duncan being Duncan he just goes he looks so much like him you know like whenever I whenever I look I just see I just see him in you I'm sorry I can't I can't help it he just he reminded me so much of him.

I suppose most dwarves look alike to me so fair enough and she says it kind of like she's trying to like console him because he seems distressed and like she doesn't know what to say. I want to make it very clear he's being very genuine right now despite the fact like it's I always kind of I always kind of imagined Duncan had the memory of like fruit fly like it was like the second something's out of his vision he just kind of makes up what it looked like in his head so Duncan has no object permanence. Right it's not it's not a matter of racism it's more of a matter of like he sees he sees a minotaur in front of him so he's immediately associating that minotaur with the one minotaur that he has a relationship with.

He jumps to conclusions. Yeah I actually the object permanence thing is perfect it's like peekaboo with a baby you put your hands in front of their eyes and they think that you're gone forever and then yes that's that's a good so uh and he goes look I I and I'm I feel like I've disrespected you here because I got it caught up in my stuff I I'd love to get to know you I just don't know if I'm in a place where I can really do that right now. Duncan you just have to fight alongside each other it's not a relationship. Whoa what are you- What are you- MALCOLM!

I'm just like what? So Duncan Duncan looks over Duncan kind of covers the side of his mouth and points at Theo and just mouths Theo like don't tell him the truth you know that kind of thing. We all love each other and we're friends and we have to be friends or else there's no reason why would I give my life for and he looks around the bar uh that guy and he just points at some dude like two outwardly points at him two tables over I don't know that guy why would I why would I die for him but yeah I like to know the people that I that I'm with so. Well I mean of course we try to you know have a rapport but well I mean and Malchus just kind of gestures around the table and uh says you know if if that had happened there'd be twice as many of us here now in their art.

Duh idiot. Theo would would kind of chime in after a bit. So I mean you're back at least that's awesome tell me okay okay did you did you infiltrate the new ball did you oh my god you made it in did you meet your dad oh my god you killed your dad are you okay do you want to talk about it? By the way at the the minty of new ball to be in skycast stiffen a little and like narrow her eyes at Duncan and then back at you like where's this going but she's not gonna say anything just kind of a look like whoa what. So remember remember remember when you guys so to me did you tell her about what happened?

It didn't come up. Okay. Theo would Theo would hold up a hand it's like I've got this. And again as he holds up his hands like crunk crunk crunk and then just like gesturing with his hand over to Duncan again crunk crunk crunk sounds like a big metal bendy straw. Tevain's about three crunches away from like ripping his gauntlets off. Just take them off already. It's been hours and hours of this. If he motions a hand like in her direction she may just grab his hand and like remove the gauntlet off that hand. Okay. Um Duncan here is on a quest or was on a quest to find his dad and he was working at least somewhat with the new vol so he wanted to take a break from the group to sneak into the new vol and join them as one of their own and then get to his dad and kill him and Duncan being well just the best and he's going to look over he's going to look over at Duncan with like a big smile on his face.

Duncan's nodding as you say. He's and it's okay if you don't know he's he's really famous apparently out here in the west master adventurer and stuff he's told me many times he must have wrapped up the job really quickly because it was only a couple weeks back. And then he's going to look over to Duncan for confirmation like tell him tell him all about it. Well what had happened was uh so you guys uh you guys I remember I was like go ahead you guys are fine and I made uh all you I made um you know anyway so I went through the woods remember that remember the woods how tough the woods were?

Remember how scary they were Theo? He's shaking his head and he's gonna look over to Tivian. There was a dragon. It's a dragon okay. So I go through and I had just whole I did lots of fights uh just I I rolled uh I I rolled a 15 on my bluff I had so many fights on my way. Does that be anyone's passive perception by the way? Insight it's insight against bluff right? Oh ins okay or insight passive insight does that beat anyone's passive insight? Hold on let me check let me check Theo. Mine's a 27 by passive insight. Please beat Theo. That actually beats Theo's oh god.

So perfect so perfect. So the entire time Theo's like that checks out yes naturally yeah. So while you're telling the story Theo's like leaning in like a little more and a little more as you tell the story it's like then what happened how'd you get past you had no weapons. Yeah every time just crinkle crinkle crinkle. So then so yeah I mean I fought bears and wolves and uh drow and I just beat them all with my fists and feet I kicked them. The drow followed you? Uh a new drow other drow where in the wild drow were in there um and uh and so uh so after I beat after I killed them all just left them just a path a stream of blood um which if you want to find where I went you just follow the blood um so I got up to you should see this massive uh there's a gate and the gate said thou shalt not pass right.

Wait the gate spoke to you? No no no no it had words on it. Oh right. So I banged on the gate and just all the dwarves came right and I could see in the back I could see my father this is true I could see not really um I could I could see my father there he was around but he didn't notice me so I I and Duncan's just kind of like trying to just desperately trying to figure something out that he can sound cooler when he says this they uh they wouldn't let me in. And Theo's just gonna like blink heavily a couple of times. Did you show them the blood path?

Hold on Malkus let him finish so you stabbed them and then they... No no I believe he said he he punched them and kicked them. Right yeah. Right your weapons I'm sorry I'm dumb. Yeah cause you had his weapons remember? I'm a dummy okay so you you beat them to death. Well um what happened was um. You took their weapons that's genius. Um no I I and you can see light bulb I I decided that while I could obviously just on my own take take out this crew um I thought it'd be better to infiltrate them and to learn right Theo you know what I mean we need to we need to learn the psyche of the nouveau.

And he's gonna give you this really rapid like head nods like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so while I could go in there and destroy them I just thought you know what if I came back. The first I wanted see first I wanted to go into the woods and maybe find an ogre or something that I could bring to them like get like a sacrifice type thing but then I thought it'd be smarter if I have Yinward come with me and I could say that not only did I did I bring them a minotaur but I brought them the king of the minotaur right and then I would be held in such esteem that I would learn all their secrets before I kill them all. See doesn't that make sense Theo?

That is the smartest thing I've ever heard. Can I ask you a serious question? Yeah of course. And he's gonna he's gonna lign and just crinkle crinkle crinkle. Can you please teach me your hand-to-hand fighting skills? That's that that was in character that laughs by the way. Theo. Look okay I gotta run a bluff check is that okay? Sure. That's a 30 there for those who don't see the poem. 30. Are we allowed to roll an insight check now that we he didn't pass our passive. No no you can like now you're you you realize he's full of shit like Theo would just be like.

How full of shit is he though? This is specifically Theo. Okay you're just talking to Theo then she's not gonna she's gonna listen and. Neither of you would be buying any of this at this point. Theo I would okay I would but you have to understand that I was raised I was taught this by not my real father but the father that raised me he was a skilled hand-to-hand fighter and he taught me all his moves out and I made a vow that I could only share it with my kin so um I can't I can't pass it on to you I maybe you know what Theo if I ever have a daughter and you marry my daughter I'll show it to you okay.

But if you have a daughter now and you can see him doing math in his head. Can we hear his armor crinkling while he does this? Oh he's he's holding up his he's holding up his hand and like crinkle crinkle and he's like counting on his fingers. Under the gauntlets. Yeah just. I'm gonna grab them now and just be like enough with those just here here now you can count easier and unlace them or whatever you know undo whatever they have to be done and slide them off and set them on the table proceed with the counting please. Oh my god that's so much better.

Are you too? You can tell me later Theo it's okay. Anyway go on yeah. Okay I don't I don't know if I'd be comfortable marrying your daughter. Theo how old are you like 15 16 how old are you? I'm in my 20s. Yeah that's fine so if I had a I mean I could have we don't know I could have daughters right now you don't know that right? I I guess. So if I had a daughter out there or if I have a daughter like tomorrow then when you're 40 she'll be like 20 that's not a big deal okay so you'll be fine and then I'll teach you all my hand-to-hand combat skills. I could have a son you could marry my son.

I'm um I'm I'm I'm I'm not gay but. Well not right now. I'm I'm not I mean I'm I'm not I'm not gay right now I don't I don't I don't think that changes. I mean it doesn't change but you might your your mind might open more right like we grow as people all the time so who knows. I'm I'm I don't I wasn't trying to be close-minded I wasn't that it's just I'm I'm not. Have you ever tried it? Have you ever? Well no I I've just never been attracted I guess to. You should try it you should try it sometime. I'm not judging you Theo I know you're you know. Is it just me or have we diverged from the point?

Well the point um I'm back I'm back. Welcome back. Duncan's back. It's great to meet you Duncan. It is a pleasure meeting you. Davin and I so what what what's next for the group? We're going to find Theo a companion here I mean well I know you are we gonna what are we doing what are we what's next? Well I think we're going to spend the night here in the safety of the town and after that unless Davin has any business still here during Hollow? It would be just a I'm assuming a quick trip just to the outside of town just to a farm if there may be nothing there there may be just a quick catch-up afternoon worth so maybe a day before moving on.

I don't anticipate much longer I don't have any real need other than a quick hello I hope you're well can I meet your children who have any? That sounded weird. Theo's gonna perk up again. Davin. Yes Theo. Do they have goats? Um. Goats? Hmm. I didn't think it would be like goats but if that's what you're into Theo I guess goats are. No judging! I'm not judging. Have you ever have you ever petted a goat? They're adorable they have square eyes. Hey Duncan Duncan looks over at Malkus and he's just like this weirdo look at this guy. Malkus it's it's so hard to describe the expression on Malkus's face right now it's kind of it's like like the top half of his face where the brows are is like puzzled but the bottom half is this kind of like like tucking his tongue into his cheek just like just kind of faintly accused that this this is turned into such like a like a light-hearted like let's go pet goats kind of talk.

Hey Theo just told us about a boy goat right huh? Huh? Close-minded. Right. Just leave her well when I left they didn't have any animals at the moment but while I was there they raised mostly mostly cows I think at one point we did have a few goats some chickens you know pretty standard livestock for the area. He is going to he's gonna perk up when you say few goats he's gonna perk up and just okay. Okay so she's gonna lean and go but you know it's a lot easier to pet a goat without the armor on. I okay we can change before I we go. You'll be more comfortable.

Guys I think that might be a good place for us to stop because I don't think there's gonna be a better one. I don't know I mean once we get to the goats I think it's gonna get really good Jason. Hey guys it's Rachel from group one I play Tavine Brightheart and I hope you guys enjoyed tonight's episode so if you did go to iTunes and give us a five star review. Visit us on Facebook at facebook.com/dungeonsandrandomness and let us know what you think say hey you can interact with some of the other players and if you really really like it and you want to help help keep the show running and help Jason and Bree do an amazing job visit Patreon Patreon.com/dandr and give them a few bucks it only takes one dollar a month to give them you know a little something and you get a little something back.