Higher Power

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You can also join the conversation on Twitter by using the hashtag #BadDragon. BadDragon. Making fantasies real. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table to start with Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa, and I play Elorath Beestinger, the Halfling Barbarian. And Valerie. Hi, I'm Valerie, and I play Sora Greywing, the Halfling Ranger. And Karen! Hi, I'm Karen, I play Arina Stonebreaker, a mole paladin. And no Rob this week, because you guys killed this character. You should feel ashamed.

He didn't sound very upset. No, he didn't. Good, now that that's all taken care of. Dude, we tried. We tried to save him. Didn't work out. So, last time on the show, you guys had ventured into the Silver Glade to kind of wrap everything up in Hockfort and hopefully take care of their werewolf problem. Things worked out pretty well, for the most part. You guys did lose a couple of paladins, which sucks because they were just there to volunteer and help out. Bree did get bitten, which sucks even more, but everyone else made it out completely unscathed. You guys did a fantastic job.

Again, I want to congratulate you, because that was a long and arduous journey. So, how's about we pick up right after that? Because I feel like there's probably some loose ends to attend to here. The party, firstly, would have been pretty beaten up. Bree specifically, just pretty much covered in blood and bitten and everything, but everyone else has taken a minor beating. It looks like you guys have been through some shit between the days you were trapped in Hockfort, everyone except for Irina, and then venturing right into the woods. You're just filthy and some of you have gashes and, you know, barring that, scars.

I mean, you're pretty messed up. Right after the fight, right after the last werewolf drops, I would imagine Bree would have just dropped all fours. That's it. She is completely spent. Done. That is it. Everyone else, how are you doing after the fight? What's going on? Because this would be a field pretty much littered with werewolf corpses. That's pretty much it. I mean, just slick with blood. It's a pretty big disaster area. Did they stay in their wolf form? Yes. Then Elorath's probably going to go kick them all, like one by one. Because she's so pissed. She was raging during the fight, so she's going to be kicking all of the bodies just for good measure.

"This is what you get. You killed all of our friends." Just muttering obscenities and kicking them. What would Irina be doing? She's going to go check on Bree, because she's got like one hit point left. Yeah, no. Like I said, of the party she got the most fucked up, I think. Yeah, so I think she'll go check on Bree, and then as she's sitting her up a little bit, she'll just use her lay-on hands on her to do that. While she's doing that to get her a little more stable. Right. So that would be a good thing. Just healing her up. And that would close up the large open wound, like the collarbone and neck and shoulder areas.

Because that's just a deep bite wound and blood. That's all that is. And her hand would kind of be clenching that as you were healing it. Is it going to keep a nasty scar there? Oh yeah. Okay. Just for her record. Which will match the one in her abdomen. Oh. Yeah, she has quite a few nasty scars and burns. This poor girl has not had an easy ride in life. What about Sora? What's Sora doing? Sora... I mean, she'd probably just like, go and like sit under a tree. Like she's... she's kind of... done. You know, it was just such a long thing coming. She just wants to kind of take a break.

So she'll go like sit under a tree. I would say after a beat, like after Bree gets her breath back, she would look up to Erina and just sort of nod. And just kind of like, "Thank you, but... yeah." She'd definitely just do one of those nods back. Realizing she's... like I would imagine both realizing, "You're pretty fucked. This is not good. But you're not bleeding to death." Yay! And then after that I imagine just taking in the scene. Just... that's a fight most people wouldn't walk away from. And not everyone did. And after a minute of just sort of taking this in and just listening to see if anything else is coming, if some... you know, if there were more werewolves, if there was some other horrible abomination in the area, then it's just sort of quiet.

Peaceful, almost. She would turn to Erina. We should get back to town. We definitely should. Can I just kind of look around the clearing and see if there's anything... I don't know exactly what I'm looking for. Just kind of see if there's anything weird? Does that make sense? Sure. Like anything out of the ordinary, beyond the bodies. Yeah, beyond a bunch of dead werewolves. Yeah, do me a favor. Roll Perception. Okay. We're so close. What the fuck are those? Those are trees. It's okay. Were those werewolves? What the fuck? Is Elrath just still kicking these werewolves?

Probably. Yeah, can I at least do that? She was really mad. Two of the friends that she's been with the longest died because of this. Another one that they picked up on the way died because of them. So she's really pissed. She's just taking it all out on these dead dead wolves. That's really, that's really, really sad. When you put it out like that, you're like... Because I mean it's not like they're going to move a whole lot. So I imagine it's like just kicking them, they're just gently like... just rocking just a tiny bit. Because she's got tiny legs. Yeah, just...

She's so angry and she's kind of broken a little bit. She's just like, "I'm so glad you're fucking dead!" Yes, she's still kicking them. If she realizes people are looking at her she might stop, but she's like just kicking them. That's the difference between Elrath and Sora. Like, we're both dealing with something, but I brood under a tree and you just lash out at dead things. Yeah. I like that by now it's just been like, "Nah, she needs to work through it her way. Just give her a few minutes." She's just got to beat something up for a second. If it was the entire time that, you know, Erena goes over to heal Brie and then she gets up, Brie would probably step in and maybe, you know, put a hand on the shoulder and just... just to see if she'd stop.

Oh yeah, she would. She's just like, "Hey, oh I guess I could stop kicking these now." Like, let's get everyone back to town and we can let them know that this is all dealt with. You all did an amazing job. And she would sort of be looking at the party and obviously it's fucking awful that the two paladins died, but it's kind of accepted. It's like, well, they knew what they were getting into and, you know, but she would glance over. Like, she'd look at the two dead paladins and then over to Erena. Just... did you know them? I knew they were. Not close friends.

Working relationships, you know? If they're not in a respectable pose when they died, Erena's gonna go over and straighten them out and stuff. Right. That was gonna be the... yeah, it's not like their ass is up in the air. Yeah, like if they're splayed out or something, you know? Just kinda square them up. I'd say we should take the time to bury them, but I really don't want to be here at night. Should we take them with us? And she's gonna... Bree would look over to Erena. We probably should. If no one's gonna come back here 'til day, who knows what's in these woods that might take their bodies.

So, Elorath would help pick things up. Or, sorry, not things. Oh god. I feel like you should take one and I should take the other, 'cause... Bree would help. She's not a great lifter, but yeah, she would definitely help. Sora wants to help too. I was just gonna say, why don't we have the two halflings carry one? That way there's not this grotesque difference in height. There's actually still gonna be a grotesque difference. Yeah, that's true, but it'll be less severe. Yeah, Bree would be in between Erena and, like, Sora and Elorath. Not by too much. Not too much taller than Elorath and Sora.

So this is gonna slow... this is gonna slow you guys down a bit. Significantly. But getting back to town isn't gonna be as difficult as tracking these werewolves down, 'cause you know where town is. So this is probably gonna take you guys a few hours. 'Cause I would imagine you'd have to stop and rest and, you know, it's... yeah. But eventually, you are gonna get back to the town of Lockford. Everyone do me a favor, roll Perception. Hey! I can't even. What about Bree? Bree needs to roll Perception. Let's see, Elorath is going to spot... there is some mingling in town.

There's some people who are, you know, survivors and obviously the town is not packed. Poe is going to notice the party and start immediately moving toward you guys as soon as you come into view. The fact that you're carrying two bodies is not a great sign, but he's gonna jog over. And the second he gets close to Bree, he's going to see that she does have a wound. Like, her armor's torn. It's not... that's not good. And it's not gonna take a rocket scientist to put together what happened. And you can see that he's gonna get ready and speak and then they're gonna look at each other and he's not gonna say a word.

And she's gonna get ready and move away from the party and Poe's gonna stand there with you. You guys need help with those bodies? Uh, yes please. Now I've just got one hope by myself. I don't want to cut to the chase here, but how did things go? It's been taken care of. For good taken care of? Or taken care of for now? What are we dealing with here? As far as we can tell, for good. We killed all that we found. Well, I... I would imagine that's gonna be a load off for these people. Let's, uh... let's put these two over to the side here. There's no reason to upset people.

I'll tell the rest of the Paladins what's going on. What... what happened with Bree? Arena's gonna look around at you too, and if you're not gonna say anything, she's just gonna look straight at Poe. She was bitten. I feel like you should know that. Yeah, I had a feeling. Alright, let me go talk to her and you just get some rest or get something to eat something and I'll let you know what she wants to do. So at this point, it's gonna be getting dark soon. It's the fifth of Thorim. Most of the day has been spent killing werewolves and tracking them down and all that stuff.

What would you guys like to do right now? Food. I would imagine everyone's pretty hungry. I feel like Arena would just pig out on like whatever. It's dinner time. Yes. And maybe a bath, but I don't think that's probably not an option. I don't think the inn is open. Imagine not? Probably not. The big thing is they kind of got like a makeshift shelter thing going on. Where they're cooking for everybody in town. It's very communal right now. I think everybody just wants to be close to one another. It's very, I think it's comforting that everybody gets, you know, the more of us in one place there are the better.

That kind of thing. Strength in numbers. Right. They tried the getting into their individual shelter and, you know, nailing the doors shut, but that didn't really work. So yeah, to give you an idea of the level of destruction here in Lockford. Before you guys arrived, Lockford was not a huge town by any means and they'd been encountering their own problems. But the town itself had a population of like between 900 and 1000 people. There are about 75 to 85 people left. Goodness. Everyone else is dead. What? So that's kind of what you're dealing with here. That's what's left of this town and they're going to have a lot to sort out, but at least they won't be attacked in the coming days and nights.

So you guys are going to be getting some food. If there's anything you'd like to talk about or do, go ahead and do that. Otherwise we'll just sort of jump forward in time. Did we grab all of the artifacts from the clearing? I believe Arena did. Okay. I couldn't remember it because that was- I don't know what you're talking about. What artifacts are you speaking of? Eh. Yes, I have them. When you say time jump, like how much? Oh, just jump forward like a couple of hours. Okay, so everybody's still awake? Yeah. And it's just like after dinner time? I would say yeah.

Okay, then time jump is good. So everyone's fed. Everyone's had some time to sort of decompress a little bit, I would imagine? After a time, you're going to notice where people are starting to kind of settle in for the night. They're looking for a place to sleep where a bed would still be intact that they can actually sleep in. Maybe, you know, try to catch a little bit of sleep. Bree would come find you guys after a while. Now is this a situation where you guys are sitting around or would you all be doing different things after you've eaten? Are you eating together?

I feel like we'd be eating together. Yeah. Okay. I feel like if Elorath's doing anything, she's probably cleaning her flail. What's got all that werewolf skull fragments on it? Can we clean our weapons together? *Gasp* Yeah. Like a big- like a solid bro moment? Yes. I love it. You have your wet stone out. I've got like a stick or something just pigging fur out of it. Yes. *Laughing* Yes. We're bonding. We're bro bonding. Bree would come find you guys and sit down with a lot of you here. Alright. I think you should head back to the Overwatch. What? You've all done an amazing thing here, but let's face it, this was not how this was supposed to go.

You were just supposed to scout the area, investigate, and let us know how many people we should send. And this just got so fucked up. I think you should go back to the city and we can pick things up from there. There are still plenty of things to do, don't get me wrong, and we're gonna recognize you for all the effort you've put in. And I think you'd have more support closer to the city. Do you understand? Yes. Just surprised. Am I surprised? We've just been here for a while. It would be nice to go back to the city, I guess. Well, there should be soldiers a few days out, tops, and they're gonna help rebuild things here and give these people all the support they need.

I've talked to Poe and he's gonna be staying here for the duration. If you want, we can travel together as far as Fair Bay, and then I would... I'd let you guys complete the rest of the journey. There's something I have to do. Once you get back to the city, Liara would help you with whatever task she thinks is the most important right now. But this is probably gonna be the last order I give any one of you for a long time, if ever. What do you mean? If I travel with you... I could put all of you in terrible danger. I know a little bit more about werewolves than most people do, I think.

I actually traveled with one for a while, and even with years of training, he had a hard time keeping a hold of it if things got heated in combat or he got hurt. And that's how I use my power. I need to get angry, and... I have no idea what would happen if I lost control. And you've all been through enough as it is. It would just complicate things. Sorrow will nod at that. So in the morning we can... If you're feeling up to it, get ready and head toward Fairbay. Alright? Sounds good. Oreena's gonna speak up. Just you three. Is that all that's going? Well, we can't take anyone from the town right now, and...

I wouldn't send you back the way you came. There's no reason for them to do that. It's a lot safer to go through Fairbay and then eventually Esterholt and then the city. Well, if you're leaving at Fairbay, why don't I come with you guys? I have to go back to Esterholt anyways, and you'll leave them with just two. And they might need a little more muscle on the road. Rude. No offense, but you're a teeny tiny halfling. I love you Lisa. Lisa, you are a teeny tiny halfling. None of that is true. Elerath will probably bristle, but if you don't mean it with a mocking tone...

It's like one of those things where there will be two of you, and you're not in any offense. But two halflings aren't very intimidating. And so in her way of thinking, she would feel that you are more susceptible to ambushes and stuff like that. Well, if Elerath can tell that she doesn't mean it, you're only a halfling. You did call her teeny tiny though. Karen called her teeny tiny? Oh, okay. I was like, "Bruh." No, no, no, no, that totally wasn't in character. Sorry. Elerath would probably just smirk and elbow you. It's like, "Hey." Bree would stare off into the middle of the distance for a few seconds, and then just kind of disengage.

Like, just sort of wander away from the party. What? Just more like, it's like, "Okay, there's obviously some shit on her mind, but just not, just kind of like, 'Goodnight.' Nothing horrible, just walk away. Like, it's, yeah." Are you bedding down for the night? Or is there something else you guys want to do or talk about? I would like to do something. Sure. Can I see if the kids are still up? Let me see, what time would this be? So, it would be evening... Honestly, they would probably be, they would probably be either asleep or bedding down for bed. I'll talk to them in the morning then.

I don't want to wake them up. Okay. Anybody else want to do anything? No, I think that's it. Okay. So everyone's going to find a place to sleep. Indoors is pretty packed because there's a lot of places that were just savagely wrecked. But there are a few buildings that were pretty much untouched. So you got, you know, 10, 12, 15 people sleeping in the same place, just kind of wherever there's, wherever there's, you know, a spare bit of floor that isn't being taken up by something. People have bed rolls and blankets, things like that. So curling up, you would actually get, if, correct me if I'm wrong, this is one of the first full nights of sleep where I would imagine you guys feel relatively safe.

It's been a while since you've had one of those. It's been a while since we've slept and there hasn't been a battle or something coming up. I would say Aubrey maybe? Probably. Aubrey, Durnhollow, one of them. Yeah, because even when we slept in the cave, we had, oh, was that the alpha that peeped at us? That was the were-dragon. What? That was that weird creature that nobody could identify. Yeah. Because we had that thing peep at us. Nobody slept that night. Yeah. No. We haven't really slept in just like three weeks. Not restful. I'd say you've pretty much been on the road for a week and a half total.

And half of that was spent in, well, not quite half, but a good chunk of that was spent in Lockford night after night. So, yeah. So good night's sleep. I don't know how restful it was, but at least it was sleep where you didn't have to worry about getting jumped by something. Mm-hmm. And the next morning, we would be getting things ready here. And this would actually be on horseback. There's a couple of horses here in town. I would imagine, here's the thing. We're gonna have to double up. 'Cause you guys can't take all of the horses just in case there's, you know, the paladins in town need to get back to town and all that.

Or back to Esterhold. So this would be a situation where you are pretty much handicapping them. So I would imagine, I don't wanna guess, but I imagine the halflings are maybe doubling up with the two regular-sized people? I mean, one of them is my horse, so... Right. Oh, you actually, I mean, like, Irina has her own horse. Well, I mean, like, the horse that halflings is your horse, like... No, like, I came into town on a horse, so I would have my own. Okay. That sounds fair. So I wouldn't be crippling them too bad. Mm-mm. I thought it was gonna be me and Elarath share a horse.

And then I guess Bree and Irina get their own. I mean, you could do that. It's not like Bree takes up a lot more space than Elarath or Sora. I got a little more armor in case she wolfs out, so... Aww. Too soon. Oh, man. Things could get interesting in a hurry today. They could even get hairy. And we're done! Good game, everyone! And I think that's a good time to stop tonight. That's the story of how Elarath died. That's when G4 ended. I broke it. That's the time when Jason decided to drop an anvil on group four. It's been nice knowing you. Everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check.

Do I have to...? No. I can read that anyways. See? Told you. That wasn't... great. Uh... I got a higher dice roll than Elarath and she still beat me by 30 points. Okay. Love you. It's fine. Elarath and Sora would notice that Bree and Poe are saying goodbye to each other and they're packing up horses. They're getting things ready. And Bree would spot you guys kind of stretching, doing your morning wake up stuff. And she would walk over to you. It is now the sixth of Thorim. It's pretty early in the morning. And let's see here. So let's see. Okay. So you guys are... You're getting ready to get on the road.

I imagine you get a bite to eat. So Bree would be saying goodbye to Poe and... Who rolled the highest here? Sora. Sora would kind of notice that there's... It's not like, "Okay, I'll see you the next time I see you." It's a lot more solemn than that. And they're going to squeeze each other really tightly and then... Bree is going to kind of nod at Poe and then walk toward you guys. Is everyone ready to go? Yep. I need to take care of something first. Alright, just meet us back at the horses when you're done. Alright? Okay. What would Sora be doing? Sora will go find the kids.

Yeah, they wouldn't be too hard to find because there's not that many people in town. Shaw and Lucia would be in the same place. Shaw has not left her side since the incident. And they would actually be grabbing a bite to eat. There's this lovely stew being made right now that's kind of going around camp. So I'm guessing Sora's just walking up to them? Yeah. Well, seeing Sora, they would kind of get excited. And Shaw would jump up from where he was sitting and run over and hug her. Aww! I'd hug him back! And he would kind of, like, not pull her aside, but just kind of try to keep his voice low so that Lucy doesn't hear, "Did you guys do it?

Did you take care of him?" As far as we know, we did. And she's going to kind of have a smile on her face. So they won't be coming back? Not for a while, at least. He is going to wrap his arms around Sora's waist and try to give her, like, a bear hug. Obviously not going to lift her off the ground. Because he's kind of a spindly kid, but, like, yeah, just squeeze the crap out of her. She's going to hug him back. I'm crying. Don't mind me. And this is going to go on for just a couple minutes. So, are you guys leaving? Some of us. Po and some of the paladins are going to stay here.

But me, Elorath, Bree, and Irina, we're going to go. Are you going to come back? Maybe. But we don't have plans to for now. I'm sorry. I don't understand why you have to go. Are you helping other people out? Yeah. There's more towns that need help. And we want to help as many as possible. And that means we have to leave this town. Are they like Lockford? They might be. We have to go there and find out, just like we did for here. But you're in safe hands. The paladins and Po are staying back, and they're going to help all of you guys rebuild or do whatever it is all of you decide to do.

He's going to look down after a minute. And just... Like he's thinking about it. Okay. I hope you help those people out. Just... Be safe, okay? Always. You too. And I think I'm going to walk over more towards Lucy. But Shaw to come with. I'm not just leaving him by the side. Like, we're going to go over to Lucy now. And Lucy looks a little more depressed. And she completely acknowledges Sora and everything, but it's more just kind of paying attention to her food. Like, just kind of despondent, I guess? Sora is going to sit down next to her and kind of put her hand on Lucy's back and just kind of rub it a little bit and say, "Hey, how are you doing?" Fine.

That's good. Me and a bunch of other people are going to leave. And we're going to go help other towns. Like, we helped yours. But other people are going to stay here and help you. And then she's going to kind of look at Shaw now addressing him as well. I have a present for you guys. Shaw's going to look a bit more excited than Lucy would. Lucy would just kind of pick her attention up a little bit and actually look at Sora. So she is going to reach into her pocket and pull out a little rat. And she's going to say, "This is Hunter, and he's pretty cool and pretty smart, too.

I think you guys would be a lot better company than I am." Lucy would actually reach over and, without hesitation, take Hunter. Like, not even a second's hesitation. Like, not, "Ooh, gross rat." Just like, "Okay, grab it." But, you know, gently. And then just sort of hold Hunter up and, like, look in its eyes. And Shaw would kind of move closer to Lucy and just sort of put a hand on her shoulder. Lucy would then look back at Sora and just sort of lean over and wrap an arm around her. I'll do the same. Yeah, she would squeeze you a bit. Is there anything else you wanted to talk to them about?

Yeah. Okay, so it's time for me to go. I want you guys to take care of each other, okay? They would both nod their heads. You've both been through a lot, but you have each other to keep you strong. And she's going to kind of, because she's sitting next to Lucy, she's gonna, you know, hug her again. And then she'll stand back up and hug Shaw. Yeah, they'd both hug you, like, really hard back. And I'll kind of say in Shaw's ear, "Keep her safe." And he'd kind of, like, not whisper, but, like, keep his voice low. "I will." Again, just be careful, okay? Okay.

And she'll give him, like, another kind of squeeze, and then she'll let go. What would the rest of the party be doing right now? Probably just preparing to get ready to go. Before you guys leave, as you're getting ready, Brie would be kind of getting a raven ready and tying a note to it. And as this is going on with Sora, I would imagine she would let that go. And that would take off from your location, and sort of head in a, like, a Northeastern-ly direction. Anyone else want to do anything before you guys get on the road? I feel like I've forgotten something, but I don't know.

Do we have that money thing? The jewels? Did you guys set that aside, I believe? I know that there was, like, money under the trap door in Town Hall. Mm-hmm. Was there something in the attic? Well, that was where we found the jewels, I believe. Well, you found the jewels on the side of the road, and we brought it into town. But I was saying earlier, I was like, "I feel like the jewels would have been, like, too heavy to sneak around town with." Like, so I feel like they might still be in the attic? I think they're still in the attic. I think you'd just have to grab them.

Yeah, we could pick them up. Yeah, we could just say that you guys picked them up. As long as you're acknowledging that that's what you're doing, yeah, that's fine. We don't need to necessarily roleplay that out. So, they're not. You guys are ready to go? Do we still have the artifacts as well? Yep. Irena collected them. Right. Okay, then I guess we're ready. Well, you guys want to hear some good news? No. Is it a beautiful day? It, well, yes, firstly. Sun shining. It's kind of crisp, because it's getting on fall now. It starts getting cold pretty quickly in Theria, but it's actually a nice day.

It's fairly warm out still. Little bit of a breeze, and more importantly, you guys are on horseback. Heading south, southwest. That's going to be a hell of a lot easier of a journey than it was getting here. So, taking off from Lochfort, who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat d20? Me! Lisa will! Okay. I love that enthusiasm. Well, I waited. I was like, "I really want to, but I want to save somebody else once." Now I'm feeling really pressured by it. Okay, here we go. I believe in you. Oh! Wow, maybe it's a brand new day for group four. You know what? Give Elrath, like, a solid sleep.

Yeah! That's what it was! Okay. She probably snored like she was sawing down an entire forest. But... Kept everyone else in town up. But she's rested, and that's all that matters. I kind of want it canon that she snores louder than, like, a full grown man. Well, you guys are going to be on the road for a couple of hours here, and things are going great. Like, really, really well. Suspiciously well. Almost too well. What would you guys say that you'd be talking about along the way? Would there be talking? Would you just be silently just kind of running over the series of events?

Would it be like, "Wow, weather's nice today." Like, that kind of idle chit-chat stuff just to keep it from being really awkward? How you guys think that you'd be dealing with stuff? Like, think about it from this perspective. You guys, in a week and a half, all of you have been through a lot. We have. Who is riding with who? Was it... I think we said that it would be Irina and Bree, and then Elorath and Sora. On a horse. I mean, because if those two are silently brooding on their horse over there, I don't want to, like, make awkward small talk. Oh, yeah, I'm being, like, super emo right now.

Got the hair flip going and everything. Oh, yeah, oh yeah. Would you be in the front or the back? I mean... Who's driving? I don't know. What do I... What do you think? Do you feel like Elorath would be a willing passenger? That's true. I don't know if she would, like, know how to drive a horse, actually. Drive a horse? Well, no. Ride, I believe. Yeah, ride. No, she'd probably know how to ride one, but lead. Steer? Well, that is riding a horse. Oh. Well. What? Well, I mean, you're riding on a horse otherwise. If you're riding a horse, then you are the one... Okay. Steering it, so to speak.

Okay, I don't know if she'd know how to do the front part bit of... That's pretty standard adventurer stuff. Okay. Usually. You know what? Let's have you roll a nature check. Alright. If it's abysmal, then you're fine. Oh. Oh! Oh, yeah. Well, then maybe she's driving the horse. Who knows? Elorath owned a stable. She used to show. Maybe... Elorath is kicked back in the saddle with her feet resting on the horse's ears, just, you know, hanging out. Yep. And the horse had a sheer respect for Elorath. I am one. I am one with nature. Well, then, if Sora wants to brood, then Elorath would probably take the reins.

There we go! She'd probably take the reins. Is that a pun? No. No, it's like... No, I literally meant it because I don't know what to say. Okay. I didn't know if that was, like... You were about ready to be so disappointed to me. Was that a pun? You better fucking not have been a pun. You've had puns too many times already. I will take that 18 away. I will turn this horse around, and we will go back to Lockhart. She will probably drive the horse, take the reins, whatever. Okay. So, you guys have been on the road for a couple hours now. Things are looking nice. It's a really nice day.

I believe after a while, Bree would probably speak up. Balorath's lived through the night. It looks like he's gonna be fine. He just needs a few days of rest. Good. I totally forgot about Balorath. Oh, I guess I could have been said thanks more. You might get a chance someday. Listen, he didn't do anything. It failed, remember? He risked his life. Oh, I tried. Like, gold star for you? I mean... Goodness gracious. Wow. There was someone in the party who tried to save Joe. Yeah. How rude. What is implying, Lisa, is that Valerie did nothing to save Joe. And that Balorath did nothing when he tried to bring Cole back.

Okay. I need a moment. My brain stopped. Everyone do my favorite roll of perception. Way to be, Irina. I don't even... It doesn't even make any sense. Why didn't you train in this? Like, you know we do perception checks. Perception checks. There were other things that might have been a little more important to my character. I'm sorry? You don't have to be perceptive. It's not a law. No, you just have to, like, when you're not trained in perception, you just have to roll 1, 2, and 3 the entire time, is what it is. Right, that's all. Nailing it. Let's see, let's also do one for Bree, because she's present.

Elorath and Sora. Elorath and Sora are going to notice up ahead on the road that there is an individual. Appears to be a female dwarf. And looks like she's walking in the same direction you were riding. But yeah, just kind of like big floppy hat, just kind of like all by themselves. Which is a little odd, but not ridiculous. Oh, I guess we're on one horse and they don't see her. Elorath would probably point her out to Bree or Erina and just say, "Hey look, there's someone there." They would be... let me see. So we would be a little far away here. So, okay.

Would this be a thing where the party would stop and check, or just kind of ride on by? Or, you know, I mean, it's not... That would be funny, actually. Doesn't look like this person is threatening, not like a standard adventurer type of thing. Actually looks kind of like a townsperson almost, just sort of commuting, but out in the middle of nowhere. I mean, Erina would definitely slow down. Just feel like when someone's walking down the side of the road and you move your car over. Right. And you slow down so you don't potentially hit them. I mean, it's a horse, but...

I mean, Elorath's driving, but... She would probably slow down as well. I would just look at the person weird, but I think we should keep going. Like, give them the stink-ups? No, just kind of like when there's a car accident on the side of the road. Or no, no. Is that a rubber check? No, no. I mean a little bit. Like, what are they doing? I mean, just keep going. Yeah, who walks out in the middle of nowhere... ...wearing that hat? White after Labor Day. Doesn't even match our shoes. Wide brim in the fall? Oh, townsfolk. As you approach her, kind of like slowing down, what does this person look like?

Like, give them... Kira? Yes? Give them like... ...like a good breakdown of what this person looks like. Well, she's very short. Even for a dwarf, she's kind of short and little round and... ...wearing a very large hat with a veil, which is probably a bit strange to other people. But she has brown hair and a round face and looks friendly. I love her already. Has she seen them yet? Oh, I'd say yeah. Like, you'd know that, you know, horses aren't very stealthy or anything like that. Oh, if she sees them, she is going to give them a wave and a very cheerful high up in the air, "Hey!" And what about the party?

How would they react? Eleroth would probably like... ...look at Erena and Bree to see what they were doing and then probably slow the horse even further. I'm like, "Oh, I gotta interact with this person." 'Cause Erena's just kinda like, "Let's go, we're going to wherever." But if Eleroth's gonna slow down even more, then Erena will kinda pull on the reins a little bit more. 'Cause that "Hey!" was kinda like a wanting to talk "Hey!" now. Yeah, it was, you know, an attempt to get your attention. It was definitely a wave of "Hey!" "Hey!" as in like, "Yoo-hoo!" or like...

Definitely as in "Yoo-hoo!" Oh, okay. Hi! This is the most awkward meeting ever. Yeah, what the hell, people? Did we forget how to meet, like, just to greet each other like normal human beings? We are, we are like battle-shocked. We're, we're... You forget how to just speak to other people. We all have like PTSD. Well, I assume you all look like shit, but... You probably smell like shit, too. It's been a while since a shower. Okay, yeah, that is something... Anyone outside of the group would kind of... Like, okay, do me a favor, Kira. Roll a perception check for me.

Let's see how much of this you take in. Roll a smell check. Like, like plot twists. It wasn't a wave of "Hello!" It was a wave of "Oh, dear Christ, that stench!" You guys smell like butts. But like bad butts. Oh, bad butts, yeah. Okay, yeah, that... Right off the bat, you would see that they are, you know, cut up. Some of their clothes are stained with blood, you know, there... There's tears in their armor, there's, you know, like ruffled hair, maybe some leaves in that shit. Like, just like, I mean, they look beat up, just coated in like grime and mud and blood and just garbage.

And I would imagine their smell isn't great. But they're also on horses, so who can really tell? So, it does appear as though this person doesn't wish them, like, harm. Bree would speak up. "Are you alright? Why are you walking out here in the middle of nowhere?" "Oh, well, I was looking for you." "What?" "What?" "Well, I was looking for you. You needed help. You needed to be assisted." Bree would be looking at everyone else in the party, like, "Do you know?" "Huh?" "Uh..." Bree would be looking down and ask her, "Are you okay? How long have you been out here?" "Oh, gosh, it hasn't been that long.

I left a little while ago. I left home." "But I was told there was a party out here who needed me, and I came to find you." "What?" "Who told you there was a party that needed help?" "Avandra." And then she's gonna kinda, like, lean back and then, like, look around to everyone else. "Do we know who Avandra is?" "Would that be a religion check?" Everyone do me a favor, roll a religion check, but you'd have to be pretty... It's like, I've heard of this Jesus character. Like, it would have to be really low for you not to, like... You may not know a lot, but...

Yeah, everyone here knows... Yeah, everyone here. "Knows what?" You would know, like, who Avandra is. Like, it's... So, okay. Avandra is essentially the goddess of luck. You know, people going out on the road would sort of, like, "Oh, man, I hope Avandra..." If you're going out on the ship, it's like, "Boy, I hope Avandra doesn't crush me with a tidal wave." "Just give me some good luck." That kind of thing. Also, the goddess of change. Like, someone getting ready to change careers or towns or something like that. They pray to Avandra to give me speedy travel, and I hope everything goes okay.

That kind of thing. Brie would immediately start looking at this woman like she is completely insane. Zoya wouldn't react negatively to that. She would just shrug and go, "I know, it sounds weird, but... Avandra told me to find you." Us, specifically? Well, not you specifically. She said there was a party on the road that needed my help, and... Well, I mean, look at yourselves. You look like you need my help. Obviously, she meant you. And what kind of help were you going to give us? I'm a healer. So... Not to be rude, but... You just wanna... Follow us? I don't understand.

Well, I have to admit, it was a little vague. But, since you obviously need my help, if you want it, if you could use it, I would like to join you. You just... You really do look like you could use some assistance, and maybe a little bit of luck. Could you give us a second? Oh, yeah. Go right ahead. I'll just... Be over here. And she'll just kind of step off to the side to give them as much privacy as an empty road will allow. Bree would hop off of the horse and kind of call for a huddle, just like, "Okay, bring it in. This is fucked up." Do I have to, like, kneel on the ground for this?

Not that short. Yeah, but everyone else is. Oh! Well... Maybe. That was so tough. Just pick us up. I'm just doing weight lifts. One of you, any charm? Yeah, bicep curls. Yes. Bree would wait for everyone to get close. Okay, what do you... What do you all think? She's clearly insane. We could use a healer, though. Don't we have a paladin, like, right here? I'm really not that good of a healer, though. And, I mean, voices in your head kind of going on and saying there, but maybe she subconsciously... I don't know where I was going with that. I'm sorry. I lost my train of thought.

Don't look at me. It's okay. Are there psychics in Theria? I mean, there would be the equivalent, yeah. I mean, someone who claims to see the future or... You know, claims to know what someone's fate is, that kind of thing, yeah. But, like, real ones? I guess the closest would be like, Brittana Moonshadow in the Evergreen. That would be the closest. I mean, like, with any validity. Like, it'd be like, "Oh, I trust her." Like, that kind of thing. But most people who would just crop up in towns like, "Ooh, I'll read your palm," or "I'll tell you your future," that kind of thing...

You know, that... Believe them if you want. Okay. If Brie would speak up, would you feel safe traveling with someone who thinks they're... ...talking to Avandra? I mean, it's not impossible. You can tell Brie's getting ready to speak up and then just kind of catches herself. Well... Just like, "Well..." Trust me, it's... It's improbable. Maybe she didn't mean, like, literally spoke to her, like, in her head. Maybe it was a dream. Well... She seems to want to help. That's something. I leave it up to you. Do they look like they're kind of coming out of their huddle?

I would imagine they're still, like... I think Brie's, like, waiting for a vote before disengaging, but... They're definitely discussing it. Like, you could tell what... They're most certainly talking about you. Like, that is super obvious. She's going to kind of pipe up just a little bit loudly since she knows they're talking about her. I do know how strange it sounds. Trust me, I know that. And I don't mean to be rude here, but can you guys really afford to turn down help when it's offered? Brie would look at the rest of the party. If you can, maybe you're not the people I was looking for.

But at least from where I'm standing, you look like you really could use the help. I mean... I don't see why not. If you guys feel safe with her, it's fine by me. I mean, she doesn't really look like the type to attack someone in your sleep. I mean, Irina doesn't really feel like she should have a vote in this. She's just kind of looking at you two. But she's okay with it if you guys want to do it. Yeah, Brie would pretty much be of the opinion that, like, well, she doesn't look dangerous and she wants to help, so okay. Yeah, that's kind of how Elorath is.

Yeah. Well, we could use some healing, like... Like if she were coated in knives or something, or... Or if she had, like, an obvious weapon. Right. What did you say Zoya was holding? She has her staff. Okay. But nothing... That would be really tough to kill someone with. Yeah, but nothing, you know, sharp or pointy. Okay. I think Sora would just shrug and say, "I guess she can come with us for now." After that, Brie would walk over to her and hold out her hand. "I'm Brianna." She'll hold out her hand to take reason, give it a, you know, kind of gentle shake.

"I'm Zoya. It's nice to meet you." "You too. We're kind of in a hurry, so... do you want to hop on the back of one of these horses?" "Sure. Which will be the best one for me to hop on with?" Brie is going to immediately look over to Sora and Elorath. And Zoya will take that as her cue and kind of go over to them and hold her hand out and say, "Zoya, nice to meet you." Elorath will grab a hand. Elorath. Hi. Sup? Well, not much, but I'm very glad to meet you. She'll turn to Sora. Hi. Sora will stick out her hand and say, "Hi. I'm Sora." Zoya, again, I'm glad to meet you.

This is going to be an uncomfortable ride, guys. Three people on a horse, even halflings and dwarves. It's going to be a little packed. That's a bit packed for a horse. But, yeah. You can do it. So, is there anything anybody wants to do before you guys take off again? As we're settling into the horses again, Arina is going to turn to Zoya and ask her, "What's up with the veil?" Oh, I was a beekeeper. You know, the veil, it keeps the bees from stinging you, and this is what I was wearing, and it's lucky. So, I brought it with me. Like you were just tending to your bees and you heard a voice and you just left?

Oh, no. I didn't just leave. I had things to take care of first, but, I mean, it was pretty insistent. So, I went as soon as I could. And Arina's going to raise her eyebrows and be like, "Okay." Bree would be kind of narrowing her eyes the entire time, just listening very intently to the details of that story, because to her it's like, "Well, I heard a voice and I did the thing it told me to do." It's like, "That's dangerous." Well, and, you know, Zoya obviously will notice the flex. Yeah, it's like... Again, I know. I really do know how strange it sounds, but, okay.

I always wanted to be a healer. I studied. I worked really hard. And I never could do it. I was terrible. I never managed to heal anything, anything at all. And then I heard this voice, and when I set out, I could heal people. I mean, I know it sounds strange, but it was enough to make me believe. And Zoya will just sort of shrug and it's like, "It was enough for me to go." Bree would just kind of nod her head, like, "All right, that's... I don't want to use the word 'reasonable,' but that would be like, "Okay." I mean, that's what you believe. But not in a sarcastic, shitty way.

Just kind of like, "Okay." Because I'm sure if she were to tell you stories about things that have happened in the last couple of months, it would sound insane too, so, yeah. Is everyone okay to move on? Yes. I think so. Irena has some serious doubts about Zoya's ability to heal things, but yeah, let's go. Well, maybe like a trial by fire type of thing, we'll find out. Wouldn't it be great if... No, I'm just kidding. I can't heal anything. Wouldn't that be just hilarious? I think it was just a kind of a rage. I think it was just wounded enough for me to heal right now.

I think it was kind of established that they got rest and they did all that. So it would be, you know, they would be healed up in the sense that most adventurers would be. Still, like, scars and nicks and stuff like that, but there's not much a healer could do about that. It's open wounds and broken bones you got to worry about. We could punch a horse. You could? Don't fucking touch my horse. I was going to say, and I sound crazy. I was going to say, like, that's the first thing you jump to. Like, what is it that the horse violence is? I'd like to think that we were, like, talking about this out loud, so it just says that.

Like, it's a vibe. It's like, we could punch this horse, guys. Like, I mean... I don't want to jump the gun, but... Well, you guys are going to be on the road for hours. I'd say four or five hours, something like that. And you're about, uh, a little over the halfway mark to Fair Bay. And at this point, it might be a good idea to kind of stretch your legs, to take a rest break, grab a drink, that kind of thing. Splash some water in your face, because that many hours on a horse hurts. So is everybody okay with taking a little breather? Stretching? Yeah. Okay.

Bree would want to talk to Zoya. I mean, with the party present, it's not like pulling her aside or anything, but you've really piqued her curiosity. [laughs] And Bree would kind of approach her. So were you religious before you heard Avandra talk to you? Oh, I mean, you know, a little. I mean, as much as anyone else is. You know, I believed in the gods, and I believed in Avandra. Nothing really more than that. But you know how some people talk about a calling? I suppose it was mine. What about you guys? Do you believe in the gods, or a specific god, anything?

Belleroth would probably just shrug and be like, "I don't know. Never really thought about it." Sora will nod and just say, "I mean, it's not really my thing, but I guess they could be out there." Rina's gonna speak up. I believe that there is something out there. I mean, I'm a paladin of Kord. I believe Kord is somewhere. But how directly he influences things that go on in this world, I'm not 100% sure on. I know that, for me, I believe that he may have saved my life, but I certainly don't hear voices in my head. And so I will look at her and kind of smile and just say, "Maybe Kord just hasn't needed to tell you anything yet." Kord doesn't need to tell me anything.

He's already done enough for me. And that was enough. Maybe I heard it just because I needed to. After a beat, Bree would look at Zoya. I personally never believed in the gods. It's not really something I was brought up with, and I guess I've never seen much proof. I will say that recently I've had to rethink a few things. But if they do exist, I'm not sure if I'd really want to meet them. And Zoya will nod and say, "I don't know if I'd want to meet them either, but things can always change." I think I'm gonna let you guys continue on, and I'm gonna go ahead and break away.

I don't really want to ride through town. Where are you going? Honestly, I'm not even sure. I was thinking about taking a trip to the swamps, but I don't think that would be the smartest thing to do. I don't really have anywhere that I could stay where I wouldn't be endangering someone. But there are some people who might need me later on. I don't really think that you should be alone. You should have somebody watching your back. It's appreciated, but the worst case scenario is if I were to lose control and hurt one of you. I couldn't live with that. At least this way, if something happens to me, it's just me.

I think I just need some time to think and plan on my next move, honestly. Rina's gonna cleanse your jaw, but she's just gonna nod and kind of understand. I really am proud of each and every one of you, you know? There's not many people who would do what you do, and to continue with it, even after looking at the overwhelming odds, especially in Lockford. Seriously, you should all be very proud. Thanks. If no one has anything else to say, she's gonna shake each one of your hands and then get ready to go. She's shaking Rina's. She's just gonna lean in and say, "Please don't do anything stupid." She's gonna give this little half-smile and just kind of bring up her hand to Rina's shoulder and just kind of pat it.

That's not an answer! And she'll leave the party. That's so sad. Everyone else, do you want to continue on to Fair Bay? What would you like to do here? Before we go, actually, Rina's gonna look over to Zoya and say, "I would like, without offending you at all, I'd like to test something." And then she's gonna cut her hand and hold it out to her and ask her to heal it. Okay. Do me a favor, Zoya. Run a heal check. Okay. Just a regular heal check? Yep. That's it. Oh yeah. That's fine. Okay. There you go. So yeah, Zoya will heal the cut right up. Interesting. That was all I had going for me.

Like, if we're gonna get back onto horses, she's gonna reach down to Zoya and be like, "Let's go, crazy lady." Zoya will laugh and take her hand and hop up behind her. Continuing on to Fair Bay, another four, five hour stretch goes by. And it's gonna start to get... the sun's gonna start to set. And you will all arrive at the town of Fair Bay, kind of on a hilltop looking down at it, so you'd be getting ready to ride into town. And, I mean, as trips go, that's probably the most uneventful trip Group 4 has ever taken anywhere. So congratulations on that.

Woo! I'm gonna try to get something. I'd like to take credit for that. So arriving in town, do me a favor everyone, and as you're kind of riding down the one street here in Fair Bay, do me a favor and roll a perception check. Alright. This is all really reasonable. Okay. So let's see here. Elrath and Zora are going to notice a few things here. Fair Bay is a town that's kind of... it's a really smallish town. Lots of activity in the streets just because it's a town where kind of everybody knows everybody. It's a lot of hunting and fishing, that kind of thing.

Couple of things that are gonna stand out. One is you're gonna notice a pretty large number of drow in the area. And they're all kind of centralized in like one area, like around this one building. And then there's some horses parked outside of the local watering hole there. It's called the Tipsy Pig. And other than that, it's a pretty quaint looking town. It doesn't look rough or violent. It's night and day compared to Lockford. Can I make a request? I just, like, I really want to meet myself. And Valerie Spanier, the character, lives in Fair Bay and she's a human smuggler.

I want to say hi to her. [laughter] Because it's canon? Oh my god. You do realize, if I do that, not only did we break the space-time continuum, but I'm gonna get 15,000 requests from people. For their characters beyond the show? Yup. I just want to talk to myself. Also, that means I have to do a Val impression. I don't... Oh, please can you? Oh, I thought I was gonna control myself. But I mean, you can do it too. We'll see how things play out. Oh god, I forgot where mine was. That sounded like a yes to me. I'm so excited. Like, oh my gosh. Oh my god. I forgot all about that.

Now I want to know where mine is. You can go to dnrpodcast.com. You broke Jason. dnrpodcast.com. I'm thinking, like, where would you be in terms of... So, if you find Valerie, yes. She's a human smuggler. I know what she is. And she's... I'm so excited. Your request has been taken into consideration. Where would you guys like to go first? Probably the inn. Because we probably freak. Oh god, yes. Oh my god, can I get a bath, please? Oh yes, that is yes. Yes and yes. Oh, and so I will be recommending the specialties at the Tipsy Pig. You have to try. I don't know. What do they have?

The bath. The bath at the bar. You know what, just get a bath anywhere. Hose yourself down in whiskey. It would smell better. It might burn. They do this seafood chowder thing. It's really excellent. You should try it. Oh, the seafood in Fair Bay is amazing. Oh, I bet. Irena doesn't like seafood. Elorath will eat your seafood for you. They have a roasted boar? Done. It's sold. Some say it's better than the stuff they make in Albury. I'm just saying. Wow. That's a statement. So, if you're looking for the inn, that would be Brecken's Hearth. And walking inside... How you present yourself to the rest of the world is...

Yeah, you guys scream adventurer. Yeah, you guys look the part. And as soon as you walk in, there's going to be a gentleman behind the counter that is going to look up from what he's reading and then kind of do one of those double takes where it's just kind of like... It's going to look up like, "Hey, how you doing?" And then go back and it's like, "Oh my god!" Instantly, the look on his face is like shock and a little bit of disgust. Seems unnecessary. Disgust, really? Yes. Rude ass. I'm pretty sure you haven't showered in a week and a half. I'm pretty sure you are correct, madam.

Oh, this isn't even from the smell yet. He's not even close enough. Yet. Yes. I'm not going to say not going to be from the smell forever. So as soon as he sees you, are you folks okay? What's the guy's name? Oh, that'd be Clay. Clay Bracken. So, Zoya's going to kind of peek out from around the party and go, "Hey! Hey Clay! These are some friends of mine. They could use a room and a place to clean up." Uh... sure. Yeah, Zoya. Uh... Let me see. I got two rooms. Two rooms that no one's using right now. I will prepare a bath. And he's like nodding his head as he's doing it, like, "Yes?" Zoya will nod like, "Please.

Yes. Bath." I've been riding with them for hours. Yes, please, bath. Yeah, I'll get it ready right away. Thank you, Clay. I know you'll take good care of them. He's going to kind of put a hand on your shoulder and just like, yeah. Give one last look at the party like, "Are you sure they're okay?" Like, they look... awful. And she'll shrug and go, "They're good." So Clay's going to get ready and get a couple of rooms ready and kind of heat up some bathwater and get some stuff ready here. Who... okay. Is this a thing where you guys are getting settled in before you go anywhere else?

Or you just wanted to get your rooms taken care of so you can crash at the end of the day? Or you're getting a shower or a bath now? I want a bath. Yeah. Because the way it works is there's one kind of room where you get baths and it's kind of segregated by hanging curtains and things, like a hanging cloth. So you can't see anybody else unless you, I guess, peel back the cloth. Unless you wanna. Unless you wanna. But yeah, there'd be like four or five bathtubs in there. Like basin-type things. Let's all hold hands and bathe together. Oh. Let's get like some glasses of wine.

I mean, no. Fine. So Clay's going to re-emerge after a while. Are you folks in town for any particular reason? We're just passing through. Oh. I didn't know if you were with those drow folks. Drow folks? Oh. Uh. Yeah. They've been here for about two weeks. And looked like they were interviewing adventure types. And yeah. Didn't know if you were with them. Do you know what they were interviewing people for? Oh, I... And he's gonna like hold up his hands. I want nothing to do with them, honestly. Not, not, not... I'm not racist or anything against drow. I just don't...

I don't know 'em. So I don't... They look rough, I guess. But you folks look rough, so. It's not... I'm not... It's not a... Judgemental thing. I'm gonna be quiet now and just get you folks... Are you just gonna keep staring at him and just let him keep going? Yeah. I was gonna say, Zoya's gonna kind of stifle and giggle and then just sort of give him pats. Like, it's okay. I think they know what you mean. Um. I'm gonna... I'm just gonna leave you folks to your bath and you can... Get clean and I could... Polish up your armor and get that clean too if you want? Oh, that would be great.

Um. Ma'am, do you want me to... Scrub down your... Horns, I guess? Sorry. I assume you're talking to ElaRath because she's got tusks. Yes, please. So, let's say you guys get a bath and you're lemon fresh. Like, you guys are... You guys are way better. What would you... What would you want to do after that? Like, just kind of crash for the night? Food. Priorities. So, bathing, eating, and sleep. Well, let me ask you guys a question because it's gonna take a while to clean this armor properly because it's in rough shape. What... Do you guys have, like, downtime, like, garb?

Do you have just... Like, what do you... Do you have evening wear? What are you wearing? Are you ready for a night out on the town? ElaRath's got a nicer version... It's a nicer version of her ripped off sleeve shirt. This one only has two tears in it. I think Irena just kind of keeps it simple, which is, like, a pair of, like, black pants and, like, a white shirt. Like... Like, maybe, like, a three-quarter sleeves, you know? Hot. Are your weapons being cleaned too? Just a quick question. Oh, no, I got that sword with me. That ain't going anywhere. Okay. You kind of figured, like, that's kind of a...

I would ditch the shield, but definitely keep my sword. Okay. Alright, sweet. So, what do you think? My sword. Okay. Alright, sweet. So, you said something about food. Yeah. Okay. Let me do something on this end. Is the food ready to eat? Okay. That's why you are a sworderer special. So, you guys are heading over to the Tipsy Pig then, if you're looking for food. Especially after the sun sets. Like, that is a nice little communal place to go. Is the whole party going? Uh, yeah. So, he's definitely going to be strongly encouraging going to the Tipsy Pig. Okay. So, the party's going to go across the street here.

And it's this... kind of a nondescript place. Not a huge... not a huge tavern. And walking inside, everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check. This is not the night of amazing perception checks. Let's see. Elorath and Zoya right off the bat. You're gonna... the place isn't packed necessarily. There's a table or two free in the corner, but... Taking up a large space on the far end, there's gonna be this kind of larger blonde guy. And anybody who's been an adventurer for any amount of time and you kind of go to different bars. You always see this guy.

It's the guy standing up telling you stories about his awesome adventuring and like stuff he's done and stuff. And it appears as though he's traveling with the lady. Both of them are actually pretty decked out. Like adventuring gear wise. Is he Gaston? No. But just kind of a... kind of... I hate to use the term... kind of dude bro-y. Kind of college guy at a bar. That guy. When he lifts weights, he like makes a lot of noise. Oh yes. Because you gotta let everybody know. I'm doing it brah. I'm doing it. BT doves. Let me tell you something later. About that. But I digress.

Oh god. That guy. Everybody knows who I'm talking about. So being a little louder than he necessarily needs to be. Got a little bit of a crowd gathered around. So there's like four or five people from town just listening, just kind of like "Ooh!" And he's just telling a story. And right now he's going on and on about this story in Durn Hollow and on and on. Just like how he beat up like 50 slavers by himself and all this stuff. Oh wow. By yourself. By himself. That's amazing. After you guys walk in... Do I hear any of this? Oh yeah. Everyone. I think everyone would kind of like eventually...

Like maybe not the first thing you notice, but he's kind of hard to ignore completely. Like there are some people in the bar making an active effort to just like, just ignore the guy. Oh I'm giving him so much side eye. She's going to kind of lean over to Elrath and say, "And I bet you thought I was the craziest person you'd meet today." I like you. I don't like that guy. No one likes that guy. After you guys are here for just a minute or two, there's going to be this shorter tiefling lady who is going to walk up to the party and just kind of bouncing her way across the bar.

Just very, very, very jubilant. And just sort of approach the party very quickly. Hi. Sup? And like very friendly and waiting for everyone to sort of acknowledge. And then she's going to lean in and hug Zoya real quick. And Zoya will of course hug her back and is like, "Hi. I'm so glad to see you." Are these... are these guys friends of yours? Oh yes. They're friends and I of course brought them in because you know the food is great. They've been on the ride a while. They could use a good meal. Oh, sure. I'm Naza, everyone. And she's going to stick her hand out like, like rigid, like real quick.

Just kind of like it's spring loaded. I'll reach out and really quickly and grab it. And I'm Irina. Ella-Raph. Sora. Um, do you guys want to try the fish? I mean, it's fresh caught every day. I also heard you had roasted boar? Oh, yeah, sure. I think we still got some of that left. I'll take the fish. I'll have the usual. You know, it's my favorite. She's going to give a big smile. Do you guys want anything to drink? I guess you've been on the road for a while? Just some water would be great. Thank you. It just occurred to me that I don't know how much gold I have.

Oh, it's... yeah. You guys. Yeah. You have a box full of gems. You're fine. Okay. I'll have an ale, please. I'll have this bar, please. I will have that guy removed. Oh my god. You could definitely pay someone maybe to, like... Take that dude out. I want to buy this chair because I'm going to wreck it over that guy's face. I'll give you five gold to go over and deck that guy in the face. If I can reach it, I'll do it. She has her flail on her, by the way, just like Erina took her. Yeah. I would imagine people... that's why I asked. I didn't know if it was like, "I'm going into total relaxation mode." I would imagine that's a really hard habit for an adventurer to ditch.

Even if you're not wearing your armor and stuff, just not having a weapon, I'd imagine you'd feel completely naked. Oh yeah. So, time's going to go by and she's going to go get you some food and some drinks and stuff. Would Elrath be drinking water and Sora and...? Oh, an ale and water. Okay. She'll have an ale and a water. She'll need it, but she wants a beer if she has to listen to that guy. Gotcha. Oh, he is not shutting up, by the way. Oh god. Not at all. Good. Sora's only drinking water. She's not going to have anything. Okay. Elrath's about to get real punctious.

And Sora is going to look at the table and say, "I am so glad I ran into you and not that guy." Erina's just going to give her a pat on the back, like, "Yeah, me too." Like, that's not a sign of luck for Mavandra. I don't know what is. Well, from the sound of it, he wouldn't need your help. 50? Did you hear that? By himself. It's amazing. True. I mean, an adventurer of that caliber probably never needs a healer. That must be why. Why, he's practically a god. Everyone do me a favorite role and perception check. Everyone? Everyone. Yeah. I perceive nothing this time.

I'm not even drinking. That is my second crit fail of the night. Well, here's the thing. Everyone's going to hear this guy go on and on, right? And he's not getting any quieter as liquor starts flowing through him, right? And he's just going on and on. He's like, "Okay, this one time?" So, like, I'm traveling through the Divide and these fucking orcs just jump out of nowhere, right? So, she's like six or seven of them and, okay, I give him a chance, I tell him, "Walk away, brah. Walk away." Just going on and on and on. Just like how awesome he is. Ugh. Gag.

So, then he proceeds to tell this story about how he and his lady, he keeps calling her his lady. Of course he does. Does he say, "My lady"? Oh, god, he is such a douche. Is he wearing a fucking fedora under his armor? No, no, no. Not my lady. It's like, "Me my lady here?" So, I tell her, flank to the left. Just flank to the left, I'll take out these five, you just take out the two, and we got it. Like that kind of shit. Like, just constantly. She's not speaking. She's just kind of sitting there. Every once in a while, it's like, "Didn't I say that? Didn't I say that?

Didn't I say that?" And he calls her Krista at one point. "Did I not say that, Krista?" Like, that kind of, just constantly needing validation. And the most you'll hear is like, "Yep, you said that." You did say that. And at one point, one of the people listening to him at the bar is like, "Then what'd you do, Brock?" The guy's name is Brock, by the way. Of course it is. Does he have squinty eyes? He probably smells like axe. I bet he does. I bet his eyes are just closed. Oh, it was a Pokemon joke. Yes. I did it, guys. I did a reference. I did a reference. I understood that one.

Sora's gonna notice something, though. Krista appears to be wearing, if not the same thing, like the actual, like, there's a couple of things on her purse, like bracelets and little bits of armor and such. That were from Evelyn and Eren. Oh, fuck no! This guy! Oh my god! The odds of this being a coincidence are slim, let's say. And as you listen, he goes on to talk about how they were traveling through the Divide after Durn Hollow, and they murdered all these orcs. And then he has a sack that he produces of orc ears. And he's gonna kinda throw them on the table.

It's like, "That's what happened to them! I fuckin' warned them!" Just constantly. Zoya looks completely revolted. I'm so glad Al-Raf didn't see this right now. And then, like, after he gets done telling that story, like, you can, you ever listen to a douchenozzle tell a story like that and you can tell they've reached the, "Now tell me how awesome I am," at the end of that little story before they start going into another one? It's like, "Yeah, that kinda, like, the dismount." And like, yeah, there's like some clapping that breaks out. It's like, "Fuck yeah, you show them orcs!

Oh man!" Like, that kinda thing. And before he gets ready to launch into his next story, cause there's always a next story, he's gonna kinda pound his mug there on the table and just kind of shout at Naza to bring him another one. Oh no. And maybe not quite as bouncy. She is going to, she is going to kind of jog on over and pour him another one. Would Sora tell the rest of the party about this? Well, first thing I have a question. Mhm? We buried... You sure did. *Gasp* And... Eren. Eren, yeah. You sure did. Like, we buried them with, like, all their stuff and stuff.

Yep. And I think we... did we mark their graves? Did we put, I thought, did we put, like, a little rock or something? Yeah, you were in the Divide and sort of pulled off to the side in an area you kinda deemed safe. And yeah, you had, like, a quiet ceremony and buried them, yep, with their stuff. Cool! *Laughter* So... Oh. So, I'm going to look over at Elrath. Oh thank god. And I'm just gonna, like, nod over to Krista and I'm gonna say, "Look what she has." What? I imagine, like, Elrath is so focused on this dude that she hasn't even, like, looked at the girl.

What? What does she have? Look at her jewelry. Do you recognize any of it? Do I? Do me a favor, roll a perception with a plus five. Okay. 'Cause now you're focusing in. I swear, if you don't notice this... Yep. Heh heh. What the fuck? And she's gonna look at Sora and say, "What the fuck?" Sora's gonna stand up and say, "Come on." And she's gonna walk over to the guy and Krista. I would imagine Zoya and Erina are just kind of... A little confused? A little confused, yeah. Uh, just a little bit. I mean, Sora's not gonna explain. She's too pissed off. Oh. Elrath wouldn't either.

She's following the fuck out of you. Just like, "Oh. It's... Oh, this bitch." So, Zoya's just going to look at Erina like, "Do you know what's going on? I mean, I know that guy seems like a dick, but..." I have no idea. But she's gonna kinda like sit back in her chair, but in such a way that if something happens, she is ready to spring into action. And Zoya's going to take that moment and just sort of wave at Naza, see if she can get her attention, and just go, "Trouble. Trouble is going to be happening." Let's see if Naza would notice. Nope. Perfect. I tried.

Yeah, that's... She... I... It's... She's probably also looking at Captain Douche, because it's kinda hard not to. He is the douchiest of douche. Oh. Just... Oh. So, Sora and Elrath are going to... Oh, man. Sora... This is gonna be bad. Okay. So, Sora and Elrath are going to wander over to this... You can get to eat first. You're gonna get your food just in time for the fight, so you're just like shoveling it in there like, "Yeah!" It's dinner and a show, that's what it is. I'm gonna have a boar leg in one hand and... Yeah. Excellent. So, Sora and Elrath are gonna walk their way over to this little crowd.

And he's gonna be like mid-swig out of his mug when you get there and kind of give you a nod of approval. Ugh. Just kind of like, "Oh, there's even more of a crowd. Awesome. Like, I got another story." And he's gonna kind of wipe his mouth open and put the mug down. "All right, all right. Awesome. Okay. It's getting to be a little bit sausage fest here. Okay. I'm glad. Okay. Okay." Ew! What the fuck? I'm sorry. Keep going. I hope you said that in character too. Just ew, what the fuck? Was that in character? Now, I have to ask, is that in character? Oh. Okay. No. I can't.

But if he's just gonna like start a story again, I'm gonna say something. Oh, he'll... Yeah, this guy is... This guy shows no signs of stopping. He has a captive audience. Why would he stop? Okay, perfect. So, he's gonna like start a story. I'm gonna pay no attention to him. I'm just gonna talk over him like he's not even there. I'm looking at Krista. I'm gonna say, "Hey, where'd you get those?" Yeah. Get it, girl. With the laugh at the end. No. So, this guy's in mid-sentence. Just kind of like, "Okay, okay. So, now we're traveling through the Divide and like, okay." And then you cut him off.

"Hey, I'm trying to tell a story here. I don't need you talking to my lady and interrupting, all right? So, just call your jets, step back, and let me finish." Okay, well, she can answer my question first. And he's gonna snap his fingers. Krista, where'd you get it? Oh my God. Sorry, keep going. God damn it, I hate this guy. This guy has worse than, you know, creeper voice. Ugh. It's just a douche of another flavor, really. Pretty much. I'm gonna punch him right in his penis. Please do. Just like, fucking headbutt him or something. Krista is going to lean over and gonna whisper in Brock's ear.

And he's gonna look over. And then she's gonna kind of like nod. "All right, she got him on the road, all right? That's all you need to know. So, can I finish telling my story now?" Not really. Sora will look at Krista and say, "You should speak for yourself. Where did you get those?" Brock is going to step forward. Oh, I will challenge him. Jason, is like the entire place just silent right now? Oh yeah, no. Absolutely. I will puff my chest out and everything like, "No, mm-mm." Two little tiny short girls. Just all of our feathers are fluffed out. Yeah. So, he's gonna, he is going to step forward.

"Hey, if my lady wants to whisper in my ear, that's her choice, okay? She doesn't have to talk to you. And you know what? If you two tiny chicks got something to say about it, maybe we should go outside." Let's do it. Maybe we should just like stay right here. Then she's gonna punch him. Oh, okay. Oh my god. Sora, I love you. Now, like how tall is this guy? Way taller than you. But he's like in the dick. I know, I'm gonna punch him in the nuts. Like I can't hit his face. I will use that to my advantage. You're legitimately going to just try and punch him in the balls.

Just a fucking uppercut. [Laughter] Surprise round. I, you know what? Roll a basic melee attack at his balls, I guess. Like, let's do that. Yeah. If she didn't do it, I was gonna... Okay, I think this is gonna be plus one because it's like the wrong weapon or whatever. So I'm gonna do a plus one. That's gonna hit. Yeah, bitch! Okay, let's fucking do it. I think this is also a plus one. I don't know. I just know that... Oh wait, I'm punching him. Yeah, okay. Any damage to nuts is bad damage. Let's just get that out of the way now. So Sora's tiny fist is going to connect with Brock's sack here.

Yes. And he's gonna go down pretty hard with kind of a resounding "Ugh!" Just kind of that noise, like a reverse hiccup. Perfect. Yes. [Laughter] I'm going to. Oh, if you want to say something, you can do that. Oh, Krista's gonna jump up and kind of move forward and kind of push Sora back. Oh no. What the fuck is your problem? Oh god, shit. I'm gonna say, "Where did you get those?" I'm gonna have a couple of dead fucking losers, okay? It's not like they were fucking using them. You desecrated some graves for some stuff. You just punched my boyfriend's dick.

You're fucking reprimanding me now? And she is going to pull out a knife. Whoa, okay. Okay, Serena, stand it up. I was like, "Elera's probably..." Pull out her short sword. Yes. Zoya's going to stand up and just reflect, "Okay, maybe you should take this outside? I mean, don't want to hurt any bystanders?" After a few moments, Brock is going to start to recover, although shaky-legged. And he's going to put a hand on his lady's shoulder. Yeah, why don't we fucking take this outside? Like, obviously very hurt. I mean, I almost just want to walk away now and be like, "Nah, bye." Maybe a little late to walk away now.

I mean, ain't nobody got time to take this outside. Like, why can't we do it right here? Because you will hurt other people potentially and, you know, destroy the tavern? Is this guy armored? Um, yes. And we are not. Okay, great. Though there are four of you. Elerath probably doesn't care, actually. Someone has hide armor. Like, it's not like it's getting polished or anything, so she probably kept it on. I don't think she has her bow and arrow on her, but... Wait, why would you not take your bow and arrow but take your armor? Because it's hide. And a bow and arrow is big and we're just going to get a drink.

I feel like if you have the opportunity to have your weapon on you, you should probably do it. So this sounds like you guys are going to have a bar fight. So I was going to think again and just like, "Guys, please, please, please. I'm not sure what the problem is here, but please take it outside. Please." Naza's going to chirp up from the back. Yeah, please? Like, very kind of quiet. Brock is going to look over to Naza and then back down at Sora. You know what? I am going to go outside and I'm going to fucking wait for you. And you know what else? You got to come out sometime.

And when you do, I'm going to beat the living shit out of you in front of your fucking friends. Ugh. And then he's going to grab Christa around the waist and just start kind of like throwing her toward the door. Just kind of like, "Come on." Like, just kind of aggressively. And they are going to exit this bar. Guys, I think that might be a good thing for us to stop for the evening. Oh my god. No, come on. I want to see him throw down. Ugh. Please? Bar fight. Well, outside of bar fight. It's more showdown at high noon now. God, I want to put my flail right in his ballsack.

I want to see him get his fucking nuts ripped off. Please? Evelyn, really? Evelyn, really? I'm... I'm... Hi, this is Kira from Group 4. I play Zoya Rook. If you enjoyed our show today, make sure to stop by iTunes and feel free to give us a 5-star rating. You can also find additional content on the website. That's D-A-N-D-R podcast dot com. Check us out on Patreon. Our forums are also linked there as well as Facebook and Twitter. Thank you.