The More Things Change...:Part 2

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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And we very much appreciate that. And I'm sure BadDragon does too. You can see what all the fuss is about by going to baddragon.com or by going to Twitter and tagging them in a post. Or using the hashtag #baddragondandr. BadDragon. Making fantasies real. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table starting with Rob. Hey, I'm Rob, I'm playing Malchus Grimnastiefling Warlock. And Rachel. Hey, I'm Rachel and I play Tevin Brightheart, Minotaur Shaman. And Dan. Hey, grownups, I'm Dan Phelps and I play Duncan Joy Batam, Dwarven Bard.

So, a lot has happened. We're already getting questions and stuff. So, let's pick things up. Because the last time we sat down, Tevin, Theo, and Malchus were in the little town of Durran Hollow here, just outside of it. Doing a bit of sparring, trying to get Theo accustomed to his new armor and position within the group. It's debatable to say how well he did. But shortly after that you guys decided to hang out at the Honest Harlot in Durran Hollow. And Duncan actually met back up with the group and you did some catching up. That is the short version. So, how about we pick up shortly after we left things in the last episode?

Because I believe you guys were going to hit the road not too long from now. Or were you going to stay the night? Or what would you like to do? Well, I think it would depend on how long we wound up staying. The way you guys were talking, I figure it was a couple of hours since you all sat down, then Duncan joined you. And I would imagine you sat around talking for a little while longer, maybe an hour, maybe two. So, total in town so far in Durran Hollow? About four hours. And what time would that make it? What is it like outside? This is mid-afternoon somewhere in there.

It's only the equivalent of three or four o'clock in the afternoon somewhere in there. Well, as I guess we're wrapping up and things, she's going to look over at Theo and just very politely ask, "Are you going to go ahead and take off your armor and maybe get cleaned up a little?" "You got a little sweaty and make sure you're not too damaged underneath." He's going to give this some thought, and then he's going to look over to Malchus. Do you think we're going to run into any trouble on the road? I mean, am I going to need to be in the way if something happens?

Well, never know for sure, but I'd say if you need some time out of the armor, it's probably going to be okay. Okay. Yeah, maybe I could find a bathroom or something and maybe... No, no, no. We don't need to get a bathroom. Look, Duncan looks over at Malchus. Malchus, how much of my money do you have left? 7,500 gold. Oh. Well, I was going to say Malchus tosses him a pouch, but that's probably more than a pouch. Well, we always keep it really loose because there's a conversion to platinum, but it's just easier to say gold so that people don't have to do math at home.

Am I keeping it in trade bars or gems? Have I converted it up to gems so that he can buy things at the DNR cash shop? Yes. It's like Disneyland. He can buy his microtransactions? He's got Theria Bucks. On his wristband? Yeah. I toss you... I say, "You have this much left," and I toss you the bag. Duncan falls over. So, look, you guys have been traveling. You're obviously tired. Theo, you look exhausted. You need a night off, right? I mean, yeah, I guess if there's nothing pressing. I mean, we want to go to Winterhaven, but we can do that tomorrow. You want to go see those goats, right?

Yeah. Okay. Duncan kind of lingers on Theo, just shaking his head. That's too much for Duncan, even. Look, why don't I go to the bartender, or why don't I go to the innkeeper? I'll buy us some rooms for the night. We can rest up and head out tomorrow. Does that sound okay, everybody? Well, that'd be very nice. Thank you, Duncan. Two rooms? Would two rooms be okay? Tevin's gonna look around. I can get my own inn. Oh, you know what? I'll get... How much is it for a room? I'll be right back. Duncan just gets up, goes up to the bar. Who is he assuming would be bunking with who for rooms?

I don't know! All three of you and then Tevin? No, no, Theo, Tevin, I don't know. So you and Malkus. Right, me and Malkus. We have issues. Okay, so Duncan gets up and he goes to the innkeeper or the bar or whatever, but I don't know if you guys want to do anything or if you want to follow me. No, Tevin would probably just look over at Malkus and be like, "Two rooms?" And look at like four people, two rooms? He can do math, correct? I mean, I'm not concerned about who I bunk with. If anyone is, I think we can afford more rooms if needed. Theo can't stand up.

I don't mean literally follow me. I meant have a GM want to follow me, you know. Oh, the camera. Okay. Yeah, the camera. So we do like a Wayne's World sweep around of... Well, do you remember that the lovely drow lady that Duncan ran into on the way into the Honest Harlot? She would be standing near the bar if you had a question to ask. Okay, did she give me her name last time? She didn't, but we kind of got into hijinks before she got a chance to introduce herself. So Duncan, seeing a familiar face, approaches her and gives her another tug, comes up from behind, gives her a little tug on the dress.

And again, she's going to look, "Hey, fucker." And then it's like, see that it's Duncan. It's like, "Oh, okay." And then and instantly, like her demeanor will change. Um, ma'am, I'm sorry, I never got your name. What's your name? She's going to turn around again, expression so often, and bend down kind of again, like she's talking to a very small child. I'm just picturing it like a second grade teacher bending down. Yeah, like the little stoop down move. It's like, "Now Timmy, we've talked about that kind of stance." It's Sespa, and it's very nice to see you again.

What was that name? I'm sorry. Sespa. Sespa. That's a very beautiful name. Duncan, right? Yes. I mean, yeah, obviously. Which Duncan Joybatov, as you know. How much is it for a room in this fine establishment? Well, I guess that all depends. Are you going to be sleeping alone tonight? Well, I was. I mean, I wasn't. I originally said I wasn't, but my friends over there said that we should sleep alone. Oh, okay. Well, each room is about 40. Okay. But if you'd like someone to keep you warm, we could arrange that too. And she's going to reach out and start kind of stroking Duncan's arm.

Hee hee. Huh. If you want to keep warm. You know, you see my friend in the armor over there? And she is going to glance over. His name is Theo. And I know they were talking a little bit about how he gets I guess he wears something he likes being warm. He's wearing all that armor and talking about being sweaty. I think he might be able to I mean, I'm also kind of worried about him spending the night alone. You know, like he's more adventurous. He's new to this. But he might be able to I think will be okay. But I think I'll get I think I'll get some. What are you talking about?

Like who specifically would be would it be any points over? He just like is there anybody like big and burly around? Oh, he likes him strong, does he? Well, no, I mean, you'd be fine. I think you're I think you're what do you think? What would you recommend for him? What do you think? Well, tell me something. What's your friend like? Um, he's shy. Funny. Very funny. Not look, he's not the smartest guy in the world. You know what I mean? Like he's he's he's he's a little naive. I'll say that. Not like me, of course. But good guy. Good guy. Do me a favor. Roll a perception check.

OK. I rolled a 24, by the way. Duncan is going to notice when you're talking about Theo and it's like, oh, he's not he's not smart like I am. It's like she is going to get a look on her face like, oh, you precious thing. Oh, I noticed that. Yes. OK. OK. Like you absolute sweetheart, that's what it's going to. Yeah. I'll tell you what. I can take care of your friend for the night. And because your group is absolutely sweet. I'll do it for 60 gold. OK, so it's 60 for the room and 60 for 40 for the room. So that's so that's like that's gold. OK, yeah. You know what?

Let's get three rooms. Is that OK? That's more than OK. OK. Who do I talk to about that? You could talk to Eva over there or you can just hand me the gold and I'll go to Eva. Whatever you're more comfortable with. Hmm. Not nothing, nothing against you, but I think I I think I need to go and talk to her. I don't want I don't want my friends to think that I'm being ripped off or something. You know, I want to look smart to my friends because I'm just getting back in the game. I don't want them to think that. Also, I I kind of want Theo to think that, you know, I didn't pay for someone to come hang out with them.

Like they're just hanging out with them because they like them. She's going to nod her head. Absolutely. I'll take your friend upstairs when you're ready and I'll take care of him for the night. OK. And he just kind of pulls out 60 gold and just kind of slips it to her as slyly as he possibly can. Do I have to do some kind of check for that? You can roll a stealth check, I guess. He does a stealth check. Whose passive, let's see, whose passive perception does that beat? Is everyone looking at Duncan while he's doing this or are you guys just talking amongst yourselves?

I'd probably be just finishing up the food and maybe casually watching, but not really like super paying attention. OK, so this is just a conversation. I would say this is happening in the background then. And that would be, yeah, unless anyone's actively looking, then yeah. And Theo isn't? No, no, not really. I think he's dying. Like he's more focused on trying to look totally comfy, like just, you know, just. Sorry. I don't know why that was so funny. OK, so I slip her the money and I go up to the bartender and I get three rooms. Is there anything I know about the bartender or?

No, I mean, you saw her, you'd recognize her from the last time you were through town, like looking for looking for Group One after the fire. But yeah, I mean, she's just a lady that works here. OK, so I give her the money for the rooms and I head back over to the table. She'd hand you three keys. OK, so I go back over to the table. Hey, Malchus. Yes, are you cool with us shacking up together tonight? Oh, yes, Duncan. Yes, that's fine. Just sharing a room. We've done it plenty of times. And then he goes to Devene and to Devene and I hand her a key. I got you your own room.

Oh, thank you very much, Duncan. I appreciate it. No problem. Theo, yeah, here is your room key. You have your own. You have a room of your own as well. Thank you. That's very nice. No, it's no problem. So here's the thing. You see the lovely drow over there? Yeah. She said that she wants to talk to you a little bit sometime. So maybe later, after you come back from the goats, you can go talk to her a little bit. If you're not too tired, of course. You sure she was talking about me? Duncan looks over at her and waves. Yeah, she'll she'll kind of like wave from across the room.

And now he points over. He points at Theo, like lifts his eyebrows. She'll give this really like kind of wide smile at Theo. Everyone do me a favor. Roll perception. Oh, oh, wow. I see all natural. Everyone in the party, except for Malchus, is going to notice that Theo is lit up like a Christmas tree, just blushing instantly. See, Theo, I told you she wants to talk to you. And he's going to do that thing where you kind of look down, like, like just kind of like really just bashful. Are we settling here for the night first? Are we going to go look at that farm?

And he's going to go he's going to look to Tevin. Well, I think your friend over there might want to talk to you first. So, I mean, the farm can wait till tomorrow. OK. She's going to smile and be like, go ahead, go talk to her. Can someone help me up? I want to make it look like I'm doing it, though, you know, just like maybe just kind of overtly help me up. Tevin will nod and like lean her because she's pretty strong. I mean, well, I guess not that strong, but lean over so that her arm is like conveniently like right in front of her so he can use it as like a push to push off of it.

Like, so she's bracing herself so that he can kind of push off her without physically pushing him. Right. So it's going to be under his own will. But she's a little prop. He is going to roll a check here. Oh, God. And he is going to he let's see. Oh, Lord. OK. What is the. OK. If he starts to fail horribly, can I roll something to help him? Yes. Yes, you can. Like an acrobatics or something? Yes. Let's have Theo roll an athletics check. Let's let's see. OK, I'm going to have Theo roll an athletics check and we're going to see what becomes of him. Please crit 20 on this.

Not quite. OK. Oh, man. So Theo is going to go to get up and do that pelvic thrust thing, so the the sequence of events is Duncan smiles at Caspa, Caspa smiles back at Theo, Theo blushes and then kind of starts to hump the air seconds later. And to be and I imagine is going to like reach out and try to help him like up. And that's not going to go very well either. So it's just kind of feel like eventually getting desperate and clawing at to be in his arm. And eventually he is going to rise to his feet. But it's it's kind of like this weird pelvic dance he is doing to get the momentum to rock forward and then stand up.

And the entire time is just the ungodly like grrr, grrr, grrr, like constantly like like clinging and clanging against himself. And then he's going to lurch forward like an old robot and kind of catch his breath like, OK, how bad did that look? Graceful. And she's going to grab his gauntlets and I'll just hold on to these for you. I don't think you're going to need them. OK. OK, I'm going to I guess I guess I'll see you guys a little later. Uh, breakfast here. Sure. You're going to look at Alcus and Duncan as well. Like work for you guys. Give him health, Theo.

Have at it, chief. A big, goofy smile is going to be on his face as he as he starts to kind of lurch forward. Think like Legend of Zelda Water Temple boots, like just kind of like kkunk kkunk, just kind of very Robo Coppish. And he is going to make his way over to Caspa and she is going to very gracefully sort of steady him. But in a way that's very like, oh, let me let me let me kind of wrap around you. But it's to support him, not necessarily like an embrace, only that only someone looking very carefully would notice the difference. And she is going to very gently start to steer him up the stairs leading to leading to the rooms.

So what would you guys like to do here? Quick question. Is there a like a bath house or anything? Oh, yeah. You can get a bath here. And what I guess you said early afternoons that price to be open. Oh, yeah. A lot of these establishments tend to be open either very, very late or there are sections of them that are open 24 hours just because people kind of come in off the road at all. All time. OK. Yeah. So once to be, you know, I'm assuming the food's basically gone at this point. She's going to look at Don't get mad. Well, if we're planning on staying the night, I'm probably going to see about getting cleaned up.

I'm not super filthy, but I wouldn't hurt meeting an old acquaintance in, you know, fresh clothes. And I could probably use a little hair trim. I'm just going to like brush some of her bangs aside. OK, so you're going to the bathhouse. I look over at Malkus and I say, well, Malkus, two crazy guys. We got we got the whole town to ourselves. What are you thinking? What do you want to do, buddy? Well, I'd do something crazy. Do something nuts. Like the old days. Come on. Sure. Preferably things that don't involve getting lynched or burning anything to the ground.

OK. Well, you're making it hard on me. I don't know. You're the you're the you're the wild man. You're the crazy one. Why are you putting this on me, Malkus? You were always the one who did all the crazy hijinks. Remember? Duncan, things have changed somewhat. I would think it's fair to say war changes a man. You want me to do what I did for Theo? You want me to get you a lady? I can. No, Duncan, I'm I'm tired. I have a I have a secret to tell you. I paid her. I paid her money to hang out with you. You just. Is that so? It's so weird. I don't know what happened, but like I was asking her about a room and then she was like, do you want to keep warm?

And I'm like, well, I'm fine. But Theo's weak and tiny and fragile. And he probably needs somebody to keep him warm. So I gave her some money and she's going to go just hang out with them for the night. Well, hopefully it's not too much of a shock to the system when she is considerably less interested in follow up. What do you mean? As in if she requests more payment for additional nights and he is misled into believing that she was interested. You think you think that could happen? Well, I don't know. I don't think she's just going to keep banging him for free.

Banging him? What are you talking about? I just paid her to hang out with them, keep them warm. Oh, he's going to hang out with her. But on subsequent nights, if he wishes to continue hanging out with her, she will require. Duncan, do you know what the sex is? Is he going to pee in her? OK, Duncan, we're not having any parties tonight. I'm finding you a library. Because you need to know this and I'm not giving you the talk. I know what happens. They go into a room and then the guy pees in the girl and then there's a baby. I understand that part, but I didn't think that that's why I paid her.

Why would he want a baby? To the library. Come on. OK, whatever, whatever repository of knowledge they have here, we're going to find it. I'm going to set a book in front of you and then I'm going to leave you alone. Let's roll a streetwise check. Oh, yeah. OK. The Dern Hollow library is not the most impressive. OK, OK, better idea. Not a library. I need like a middle school. OK. I need a teacher who teaches, who might have to teach the sex ed at some point. OK, that works out because a lot of people in Dern Hollow have a middle school education. That is great.

So, OK, are you OK? You could take a walk around town. There are there you could see who's on the street, if you like. You can you could just pull a random person aside who who has the job of, quote unquote, teacher here, because this is a town that's very much rebuilding there. Like education was not a huge thing in the town. You could find a pregnant lady, possibly. There is a lady in the bar who might be able to help you out a little bit. Well, yes, but I don't want him to get any hands on experience. OK, so what are you doing? Malchus is asking for directions to the nearest middle school or whatever whatever schoolhouse this city has that.

Well, there is a place there's a place in Dern Hollow that sort of acts like a kind of a daycare, but they also teach very young children all the way up until like the very early teens, like your 12, 13, 14 year old somewhere in there. Basically, until they're old enough to become some sort of useful member of society, something like that. That sounds perfect. Yeah, that that would be. Yeah. So let's. Oh, wow. OK, let's do this. This would be fun. There's a there's a young lady here. You kind of get word on the street that there's a young lady here that sort of takes care of children in the area and teaches, teaches basic basic skills, education, that kind of thing.

And her name is Hazel Stanhope. Human lives, lives in the area here and she she would be she'd be there. And since it's early afternoon, wouldn't have any, you know, any kids to look after, but would be available there to talk to. Perfect. Let's go. So Malchus. Never have to have this awkward discussion again. Duncan's just like he just keeps going, Malchus, I know how it works. I knew Thoril. Remember? I know what happens. It's fine. Well, then why are you confused about the local industry? What do you mean? Like, I guess if she likes him, I mean. Come on to the school.

If they fall in love, I understand that they can do that. That's fine. I get it. But they're not in love, so they won't do that. Going to the Durnhollow daycare here. This this this young lady, she's about 23, is is is going to be working here, brown hair. And she's going to see the two of you walk in and kind of be perplexed because neither of you are from here. So it's not like you're here to pick up kids or drop them off or something like that. So kind of kind of bewildered. And there's like little desks and stuff set up around here, kind of broken up into a few different rooms.

Can I help you, gentlemen? Are you Mrs. Stanhope? Miss Stanhope? Yeah, I'm Hazel. And she's going to reach her hand out. Shake your hand. How much would an hour of tutoring cost? Oh, is is your friend trying to learn how to read it? I would need you to educate him on a different subject. Duncan Duncan, while standing behind, Malchus just kind of sits on the ground and like crosses legs Indian style. Pulls up a carpet square. How old is your friend? Duncan, how old are you? And then Duncan. How old was he? How old was he when you first came in? When I first came in, Duncan was, I believe, 22.

Well, I mean, if you're counting the time jump, because oh, yeah, huh, if you're if you're counting that, Duncan would be almost in his 40s. Right. Technically, like not really, but technically. Malchus turns to Hazel and says, old enough for what I'm about to ask to represent a shameful gap in his education. That works. Yeah, that works. Actually, that could be the whole thing. Duncan's just because the time jump is just so confused about his age. He just doesn't carry the one. And I don't know how to answer this question. He goes this many and he just like his hands flash like five times.

Oh, OK. That's no problem at all. We get we get a lot of people like this in Dern Hollow. Is it geography, math? I need you to teach him what amounts to roughly three things. I need you to teach him how babies are made. I need you to teach him how the how the flagship industry of Dern Hollow plays into that. And then I need you to answer any of his follow up questions so that I don't have to. The blankest expression is going to cover her entire face and it just blinking for a while and then look down at Duncan, who's sitting cross-legged on the floor and then back up to Malchus.

All right. I'm not going to charge you anything. I feel like your friend should just be taught this. Well, not by me. She is going to reach out and sort of put put a hand on Malchus's shoulder. I just want to say that it is very sweet of you to take care of him like this. Your work with disenfranchised man children is appreciated. Duncan Duncan tugs on Malchus to come down to my level type of talk. Like sit down on the floor with it, like at least scooch, like get down to me something. What's the matter, trooper? And he just kind of like looking at her the whole time and covers his mouth just real closely and goes, do I have to pee in her?

No, there won't be a lab. OK. OK. And OK. Duncan just looks real nervous. He's staring at Hazel. So I'm going to go down the road a little ways and have a drink or two, perhaps clean up. Would you say an hour, 90 minutes, perhaps? You better make it two. Better make it two. OK. Don't need me to stick around for anything or I can have a little time. It might just confuse him, honestly. I want him to focus. Good thinking. That's that's why you're the teacher and I'm the mysterious warlock. All right. I am going to go have a few drinks. And when I return, you're going to have you're going to be it'll be great, Duncan.

Just pay very close attention. I don't know what the big deal is. You know that I know what this is. We talked about it. Sure thing, chief. That's just think of it as a conversation. You tell her what you know and she'll tell you what she knows and you can fill in each other's gaps in education. And then he does the secret thing again. Are you trying to set me up? No, I actually want you to sit here and listen. No, I mean, like with her, like, do you want me to put on the charm? Duncan, did you ever attend any sort of school growing up? I mean, when I was real young, I got taught how to like fight and stuff.

You never had any just classroom education. Well, no, but I don't what I don't understand what you're asking. Where was I? They put me in here like a room like this one time when I was a little. And then they wanted me to fight. And then I wasn't a good fighter. So then they put me in a different room and I hung out with my mom a lot and then we ran away. And then the rods will taught me about like God, but it taught me how to be a bard that that happened. Is the teacher listening to all this? Oh, yes. She's intently like just study him like you poor, poor guy.

And just just very much that expression the entire time. They wanted me to fight and I like to like draw. And so they said that I couldn't fight. That was kind of the end of it. Oh, OK. Hazel. You poor, sweet man. Duncan just like has a big smile on his face. Just like, well, thank you. She is going to crouch down really quickly and wrap her arms around Duncan. No one's going to make you fight at all. And so Duncan goes, hey, Marcus, you can you can go now. I think I've got this. Can this just be the new show? Can we just have like casual misunderstanding? The sitcom.

Can we just do that? OK. OK, Duncan, I want you to listen to me very carefully. OK, Duncan, don't pee in Hazel. Under any circumstances. Was Hazel's going to speak up? What is Hazel doing? OK, she's going to unwrap from from Duncan for just a moment. Excuse me. Believe me, it needed to be clarified. He was very confused. He's crazy. Don't worry about it. And secondly, Duncan, do you know how some people they learn things by sitting in places and reading books and discussing them with other people like in a in a school? Oh, like like Poindexters, like nerds. Right.

Some of them might be considered that. We had this. I have this friend. I go to Hazel. I had this friend named Ynward. He's a real smart guy. He he's all he did was read and do math and stuff all the time. Then he was a big nerd. We're going to find him eventually. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know what you're talking about. OK, well, I know you think that stuff is for nerds and Poindexters, but you're only a nerd or a Poindexter if you have a ton of it. But if you have just a little bit of it, like kind of it, it kind of evens you out. What I'm saying is you need some evening out, Duncan.

I don't know. People like me. There's a and he well, even though he's talking about because he's looking at Hazel, there's a statue of me in Winterhaven. I don't know if you knew that. He's actually not kidding. That's that's the honest truth. Oh, that's that's real. Yeah, that's a real. Believe me, it's as stunning to me as it is to you. I came back from the dead. That's actually also true. Just a smile. Just a smile on his face. OK, give me a couple of hours with your friend and I'll do what I can. Excellent. Try to make it fun. His attention span isn't that spectacular.

I'm a rock star. I don't have models. Maybe I can draw or he he likes drawing. Yes, I like drawing. I'm an artist. So. All right. Also very good at sewing. Hazel, you're a scholar and a saint. I'll be back in a few hours. She's a saint. Not to know for. Again, she's going to she's going to put a hand on. She's going to put a hand on. I understand it. It can be frustrating sometimes, but also very rewarding. You're you're doing a good thing. Duncan's nodding. Just like, yeah, it will be rewarding. OK, I'll be back in a little bit, Duncan. And if you can exhibit that you've learned a great deal by the time I come back, we'll go do something bombastic and annoying, you know, things you like to do.

Duncan goes, I'll exhibit it all right. And then winks at him. Let me ask a very important question here. Are we role playing this out? Because I'll do it. Or do you want to skip ahead and just insinuate what might have happened? OK, here's if I was I think maybe we can go back to like Theo and then maybe catch up with Taveen again and then maybe do a little bit of it. Like the butt end of it or something. I don't think we should do the whole thing. OK, cool. That makes sense. Let's pick up with Taveen. What's Taveen doing during during this during this exchange with with Duncan, Hazel and Malchus?

Well, she would have left probably shortly after she said, I'm going to go find somewhere to take a bath. So she didn't even like tag along. Probably going to go out and find I'm assuming there's some kind of like bath house. Well, it would be attached to. Yeah, it would be attached to the place. Yeah, there's that wouldn't be crazy eventful because I imagine taking a bath alone. They do have people. OK, here's the thing. They do have people that will wash you. And there is two different ways to interpret that. I mean, she probably wouldn't turn down a good scrubbing and like combing because she's shaggy.

So, you know, that that would be acceptable. Nothing more. OK, good. Because there's a there's a there's there's there's a different cost for the nothing more than there is for the more. There's a there's a inflation for for more. I'm thinking she wants like a nice, like relaxing hot bath, you know, and then to get all the knots and tangles out if there are any and get maybe a good trim. Can she get like a haircut to. Oh, yeah. Like they it's I mean, it's full service. I mean, like full service if you want full service. But I mean, yeah, they'll they'll heat up.

They'll heat up water for you. Takes a little bit. But yeah, they'll heat up water and they'll they'll help clean and stuff like that. And it's it's it costs about as much as a room for the night to get the works. But like, they'll clean your armor. They'll do all of that. That's yeah. That's basically what she's looking for. She wants to be super, super spigoty clean for for meeting her friend if if that's what happens tomorrow. OK, well, here's two things. One, you can feel good about yourself because you're stimulating the local economy here in Durnhollow and not through drugs or prostitution.

On top of that, Durnhollow economy stimulates you. I think we're done. I'm sorry. I couldn't not. OK. That is the best line that anyone has ever said in the entire history of D&R. Oh, my God. So this so Teveen would get all spic and span. She's clean. She's that that would take a couple of hours. Theo is indisposed. Malkus, I would imagine, would just go get a drink after after dropping off Dunkin' at daycare. Make it a double. That would not be a problem. Can I ask a quick question about the Malkus thing? Sure. Just for reasons that were stated last episode. Is Malkus getting a drink at the the the Honest Harlot?

The Honest Harlot? Yeah. So would he recognize the lady behind the bar? That would be, yeah. I mean, like her hair color is different, but this this would be the young lady who escorted Thoril upstairs and spent some time with him. And as you stated before, she was something was different about her. Ever so slightly. It almost looks like she has like a baby bump. Like ever, ever, ever so slightly. I don't remember enough about her to really start a conversation. So you slept with my dead friend. How was that? Yeah, that's kind of all I know about her. The only the only reason, because I know, like, had Dunkin' seen it, which he wasn't even there the first time.

But, you know, there would obviously be something about Thoril spreading his seed all over Theria. So I didn't know that would at least be something that he wanted to take note of. It's like Genghis Khan. You can trace your lineage back to him. But just like I said, just throw it out. Yeah. So how about we hop forward here in time a couple of hours? Unless, you know, we'll come back to it if Malchus wants to. All the time jumps, Jason. It's all you do anymore. Like Quentin Tarantino falling back on that over and over. That'll stop being a thing now that we can schedule a session.

Do I get combed by a guy or girl? This would probably be a girl because... Or do I get to pick? Well, you can pick if you want to specify. You can specify. But usually when it's a female bathing or something like that, another female would be something that isn't too like, like, hey, don't you know that that's usually there's less problem with. And if it's a guy getting bathed, they tend to want a female anyway. So that's, you know, normally. It's easier to hire women in this industry. It is. Anywho. Yeah, you can pick if you if you have a preference. No, I was just curious.

So a couple of hours is going to pass. How about, okay, let's let's catch up with Duncan here. At this point, Hazel would be sitting in a tiny chair, like a smaller chair, opposite opposite Duncan. And about about two hours have passed since Duncan had been dropped off. Duncan is just sitting there wide eyed, just like, what? Someone told him Santa Claus isn't real. Right. OK, maybe we should recap, because I want to I want to make certain that you understand everything I've told you and that you're not confused. OK. OK. The big building across the street.

Do you do you understand what's going on there now? Theo's making a baby. OK, probably not. Because I believe that's frowned upon in their industry. I don't I think that hurts. Theo's doing something that he shouldn't do unless he wants to make a baby. OK, let's start from square one. That is the way babies get made. Right. But most times in a building like that, it's it's it's for pleasure. It's to have fun. So it's fun? Most people. Yes. Most people find it to be fun. Why don't people just do it all the time? And she's going to she's going to take her her her index and forefinger, just kind of like massage the bridge of her nose.

Um, well, some people do do it all the time. And it's why establishments like that are so successful. Can I tell it can I tell you a secret? Sure, Duncan. OK, don't tell my friend because he he doesn't know. But, um. I've never done that before. That is shocking. Yeah, they think they think because, you know, I'm a big rock star and because there's a statue of me that I do that, but I've never done it because I never wanted to make a baby. OK, I understand that. And there was some confusion. You do understand that there is no peeing involved, right? Yeah, I guess I don't understand what I mean.

You told me that. So it still sounds like peeing. But you're saying it's not. No, it is. It is not peeing. But it sounds like peeing. I understand that it's it's it's you'd know the difference. Because you said it feels good and peeing feels good. This is a different kind of feels good, Duncan. OK. Should I try it? I would maybe wait for the right lady to come along. I don't I don't know if I don't know if paying for it is right for you. I don't have to. I don't I don't think I have to. I think because I mean, people want me to do it a lot. Right. But I just I don't.

But I mean, I could. Have you had people ask you before? Yeah, all the time. Whenever I'm doing my concerts and stuff, they all want to do it. All right. Do I have to run a bluff check? Sure. OK, 19. There's enough plausible deniability there. It's like, sure. I mean, like you have a statue, maybe, you know. Well, I think personally, you should you should maybe wait till the time feels right when you think that you're ready to do something like that. Duncan starts like, not. So what you what what you're saying is that I'm I'm so special and great that I shouldn't just let anybody do it.

Right. That's what. Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. Duncan. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I mean, you know, Malchus will be embarrassed to tell you this, but he was trying to set us up. Me and you. And, you know, I guess I don't know you that well. Right. Like that's I don't think that's what he was doing. No, he was. And Duncan just like, matter of fact, shakes his head, nods his head. I know him from a long time. I know what he means when he does stuff. And he was giving me the signal. Well. Do you feel like you've learned some things today? Um, that I I'm not ready.

She's going to nod her head vigorously. That I shouldn't pay for it. You specifically know should not pay for it. No. Um, and I don't pee. Not not ever. That's that's not what I'm saying. Right. But I don't. When you're with a special lady. No, don't do that. Don't. But it's like it's like peeing, but it's not pee. Right. Um, look, I do have one more question, though. Sure, anything. So, like, do I have to be with a dwarf or can I be with things that aren't dwarfs? Well, it all depends on who you're attracted to. Hmm. So I because I I haven't seen a lot of lady dwarfs around and I kind of thought that I could only have a have a girlfriend if it was a dwarf.

Because that's what like my mom, she was friends with a human, but they never really like were more than friends. And my mom and dad or my dad always told me that, like, well, when I was really little, he told me I could only be with a dwarf. And then he told me I couldn't do with anybody because I wasn't good. But but if you so I could I don't have to fight a dwarf. Firstly, your dad sounds like a monster. He's like he's he lives in the woods now and he kills people. So yeah, he's not very poor, sweet thing. No, you you it's you can be with anyone you're attracted to.

You don't it doesn't have to be just a dwarf. Oh, huh. So I can have I can I can I can have a girlfriend. Yeah. Okay. Um, not I mean, not like someone like I'm not you. Right. Right. Not you. Not me. No. Okay. Okay. But it could be someone like you like a human. Sure. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I like that. I don't I don't. I like that I could have a girlfriend. I'm gonna go find a girlfriend. I wish you all the luck Duncan. No peeing in them. Well, so what if no. Okay, fine. I won't I won't pee in them. I guess I don't get it. I still don't understand what happens. I mean, I'm sure that I will understand when it happens, but I still don't understand right now what happens.

You you you will when you're ready. Okay. Not not now. Not now. You've never had a dream or you know what? Nevermind. It's not it's not important. You will understand. Okay. I've had dreams before. Okay. I'm sure you have. One here. I can tell you. No, no, no, no. That's that's private. I'll tell him. You do that. So you're not my girlfriend, but can we be friends? Of course. So like if I ever come back in town, we could like maybe if I have to ask anything else I could like ask you. Well, some other things. Sure. I'll be right here. Okay. And she's gonna she's gonna stand up and sort of reach out a hand to help Duncan off the ground.

Duncan reaches up and takes the help and then kind of dust himself off and he puts out his fist. There's going to be a couple of seconds and then she's she's going to realize what's going on and bump Duncan's fist. This is weird now because now we have to sit here and wait until Malca shows up. I couldn't I could I could just go I guess. Can we just go? Would that be better? Are you supposed to be away from his supervision? What do you mean? I've been away from him for like a month. Like two weeks now. I just found him. Oh, oh, okay. Well, then go go find your friend.

I'm sure he's still in town. He said he would be getting a drink. So he's he's probably. Do you think he paid for it? I would hope so. No. I mean, do you think he paid for it? Like, I think that's what he's doing. I couldn't say Duncan. Now, because I've never seen him if he liked a girl or not. But I wonder if he's doing it. I'm going to find out, OK? Bye. And then he just leaves. I love my job so much. I really do. The chat. Sorry, the chat got a little distracted. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, God. OK. So Duncan is going to leave. Duncan is going to leave the daycare.

And I would imagine just stride right across the street looking for looking for Malchus. Does he need a bike in the street halfway or is Malchus not on his way yet? Oh, Malchus is a number of drinks deep. He's left to it. He was left to his own devices in a place where he could purchase alcohol with with no one to like distract. Huge mistake. Huge mistake. So, Duncan, Duncan is just like man on a mission. Like he's walking. Storm is in the door. Duncan is like, I have to leave the daycare to pick up dad. I go to the bar. He sees Malchus, like just goes through the the the workers at the front door, not even paying attention.

I straight up Malchus and goes up to him. Malchus. Duncan. Did you know that people do this stuff and they pay for it and then feels happy. He was having sex in there. OK, OK, so I'll let Hazel know. I will let Hazel know that the education took because you are much further along. You have to stop him. You have to save him. Why we have to. You don't know. You don't do that. You don't you don't just do that. That is that is like a like a party foul. I think they call that. You do not know. But she said that you if that it's that I because I asked her if I should do that.

And she said, no, she said no. Well, I agree with her. I'm inclined to agree with her. She said that I should I need to wait until I find someone special. And she was a sister. She wasn't the special person. I asked her if she was hurt. And she said no. So you were trying to get me with her. And that didn't work. And now I've ruined Theo because Theo is in there and he probably is. He's probably scared. He didn't know this was happening. And now I and now he's going to be sad. No, I promise. Duncan. Theo went to Hazel's class earlier. So, Theo, he understood all of the risks.

You need to roll a bluff check on that. I heard your insight, Duncan. I'm going to blow your mind with bluffs. And now he knows what blowing means. I think I gotcha. So you beat me. OK, so when so you you took Theo to Hazel earlier, but it looked like you just met her or one of the other teachers. I can't quite remember. You know me. I get confused. Yeah, you do. Boy, do you think the important Duncan, the important part is that don't interrupt them. Because that could that could make the old mad at you. And we have to keep traveling together. I'm just worried about him.

I would. You know what? He he is capable. I think he's grown a lot since we met him. And I would trust him. And when he comes back, you can ask him if he had any difficulties because you are much more knowledgeable than you were this morning. I am. I'm pretty smart. Did she teach you some of the other stuff, too? Some of the basic mathematics or reading or any of those? I'm fine with that. You know, I just didn't. So I have a question for you, Malchus. OK. Have have have you done that? Well, yes. Certainly been a while, but yes. Did you did you know that I don't have to do it with a dwarf?

Well, I mean, if this building is any indication, a great many people don't have to do it with another person of their similar race. Yes. Yeah. People do it with all kinds of people. I feel bad, though, because I paid for Theo, but I didn't. Do you want me to pay for you? I can. That is that's unnecessary. I don't like the casual nature of paying for it. I kind of prefer a partner with whom I have more invested. Oh, I didn't. Do you think I should pay for to be into like the direction? I don't want to leave her out. You know, I wouldn't I wouldn't surprise her.

I would ask her and, you know, like it's it's not it's not always great to give that kind of gift. It's a surprise. You kind of want to ask if it's the kind of gift they want in the first place. OK, good. You're pretty sure that's a good idea. So since we don't pay for it because we're too good, right. Like we're too cool to pay for it. Is that what you're saying? Go on. Yes. Yeah. I was thinking we me and you, we should get girlfriends. Yeah. I have a feeling with the lifestyles we lead, that's probably not going to happen particularly soon. And Malchus pounds the last of whatever he's drinking and gets another.

I bet I could get one. Well, I won't stop you from trying. Just be aware that we do eventually have to go back to Winterhaven and not any casual. Maybe I can get one in Winterhaven. They like me in Winterhaven. Well, that's true. And certainly if you plan to go back there and settle down someday, like I might, that might be a good place to start looking. Let's need to relocate. Okay. So now that me and you know the same amount, we're on an evil even playing field now. You want to go, I guess we should give Theo some more time. You want to go find Taveen? Well, she'll be, she said she was going to, she was going to get a bath.

So certainly you can go to the building or whatever part of the building that is. But, you know, don't, don't barge in. Baths are a lot like sex. You don't want anyone who wants to bite it. I know what a bath is. No, I know. I know. But they have different, you know, I'm just saying draw a little parallel with the level of privacy involved. Oh, you want to take a bath? We should go take a bath. I'm doing fine right now. Thanks, though. Okay. I think we're done. Do you guys want to just sleep for the night? Yeah. Rachel, do you have anything else for Taveen today?

No, she was probably just come back and if you guys are still sitting at the bar, she'll probably sit down, maybe have an actual drink with you knowing that you guys were not going to be traveling that night. So nothing crazy. No skull splitter. But maybe you have no idea what I learned today. And she because she didn't hear any of the conversation. So she's kind of look it. Look down at Duncan. You learned and then look at Malchus. Did you pay for him to learn? No, as a matter of fact, I'm proud to say he was educated as a public service. Smile and like clap him on the back.

Way to go little guy. Malchus holds up his drink and he says to public servants. She's going to raise her glass too. Clink. Duncan points to the ladies in the front of the room. Are you talking about them? Are they public servants? In a manner of speaking. And Duncan raises his glass to them. Hey, Taveen. Malchus said that I should ask if you want me to get you one of them. One of the ladies. Or whatever. You know, there's a guy. I, um. I did tell him to ask that. I did tell him that getting that for you without asking. It would have been a bad idea. She's going to nod at you.

Thank you for educating him on the etiquette. Of paying for the ladies and gentlemen. But thank you Duncan. I think I can keep myself warm by myself. Oh no, they're not keeping you warm. They're having sex with you. That's what I learned today. I learned that earlier. She's going to smile and take a nice big gulp of her drink. I think we're going to need a couple more of these. So do you, uh. Hey Taveen, do you have a boyfriend? Or? How's that working? Um. No. I, uh. Did you know? Did you know that I don't have to be with dwarves? I thought I did. But I don't. I don't.

Now, I'm not. Now don't. I want to make it clear. I know. I mean, you're a wonderful person. But I just don't know how a dwarf and a minotaur work out. I'm just letting you know that I can be with something other than a dwarf. I don't know if you knew that. You don't have to be with just a minotaur. You can be with a human or an elf or a goat or a theo or whatever you want. No rules. It's crazy. Really? This is all new to me. And she's kind of just smiling like, thank you for letting me know this, Duncan. And, you know, maybe you'll come around. I'm nice and soft and fluffy.

Oh, I just I'm talking about how it just it would be it would be really difficult, you know, physically. I just mean. Yeah, she'd break you. Shut up, Malchus. I'm sure Malchus knows this, but there there are other ways to do things. Duncan's just like, wait. I didn't I didn't get Hazel to give you the advanced course. We only had a day. What are you going to do? You have to pay for that, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a public service. Wait, she. Well, OK, I don't I wait, I don't pee, though. You don't you don't know you do not know that. And she doesn't teach the advanced courses of lab.

OK, maybe next time we're in town, I'll go and visit now because she was man. She was after you left, she's she's saucy, I guess would be the way to say that, like I was doesn't. Hazel didn't strike me as saucy, but all right. I do. I got to say the words that were coming out of her mouth. Oh, geez. You know, like, whoa, I was blushing. I don't know. Crazy. So we check on Theo. I'm sure I'll come down when he's well rested. I'll tell Duncan. I'll tell you what. You seem to be exceptionally curious. So just go up and listen at the door. And if you hear like bouncing or shouting, that's probably fine.

Unless Theo is shouting something like help. There's an assassin or hang me or or someone's trying to hang or, you know, wait. You're a doppelganger. That would be a bad one, too. If he if he so if he shouts something about monsters or infiltrators, then kick the door in or dragons or. Well, I think the dragon's not going to fit in the end. Don't be ridiculous to me. You never know. Maybe he saw it out the window. OK, well, if he's well, if he's sitting there looking out the window, then he didn't get his money's worth. Am I right? But if he's if he's just if he if he seems.

Duncan, what's a dwarven sport? A dwarven polo. What's what what's your favorites? What's your favorite sport? Duncan, my favorite sport? Yeah. Tag tag. If he seems like he's just celebrating a really good game of tag, don't open the door. He's still having the sex. Hmm. I think if you go up and listen, you should then come back and tell us what you hear. Well, no, I never to be to Veen and myself in our greater experience will interpret if you're having difficulty. But we don't need all the details. Just just enough to get in trouble or not. Or overview. Can I ask you guys a question?

Sure. Oh, OK. Well, Malkus said he told me earlier that he's he's done it before. Have you two like it's not what happens. You two. No, she'd break me. I'd break any of you, including Theo in his armor. Not that you don't seem delightful. I just it's just you two seem like really good friends. I did. Did you with that? Did you with your sister, Dan? Me and Diana. Yeah. No, no, Duncan, that you don't you don't typically do that with a person you've wanted to set on fire before. Oh, or your sister or your sister. Siblings are not not good, which is not. But your point stands.

OK, so now I got to go spy on Theo. And as you're as you're stepping, I do that. Malkus turns to be and says, and though I have not and did not plan to attempt to have the sex with you, as I tell him, I will say you have been a welcome addition to this crew. Well, if we're now referring to it as the sex, it's completely understandable. I am a imposing figure and no offense to you, but I haven't thought of you in that way either. Duncan Duncan looks like a light bulb just went off over his head and he just backs up. Did you have did you have sex with Malkus?

I mean, with the inward? She's just going to put her put her head down. I am very sorry, but no, it we were not in a good place. For any of that sort of connection to happen, you two would be really fun together. You two be awesome. She's not. I'm sure it would be a lot of fun, but circumstances as they were, it was not going to happen at that time. OK, well, if you want to have sex with him, just let me know. I'll find them. OK, thanks for looking out for me, Duncan. Hey, what I said, I could I could find somebody for you to have sex with. Probably. I'm I'm not I'm not specifically looking, Duncan.

It's OK. Duncan, I know this whole the whole sex thing seems very exciting and new to you, but in time you will realize it is only one small piece of the greater tapestry of existence that not everyone is fixated on every minute of their existence, except for some people. So you don't want to have sex? Not like not right here this minute. No, I'm doing quite fine. Me either, because she said Hazel, who had like I said, I'm pretty sure she was human. I'm pretty sure. But she said that I need to wait until I find someone real because I'm so special. Right.

I am in full agreement with her. I'm special, so I need to find somebody who deserves me. Don't settle for less. Right. That's what exactly that's what I was. That's what she told. Anyway, I'm going to go make sure Theo's not dead. You guys stay here. And if you see anyone like you think might deserve me, let me know. OK, and I'll be back. We'll keep a lookout for you. And then he does the eye thing like with his eyes. So he's going to like wink back like we got you. Hey, Duncan. Yeah. So creeping up the stairs here and and getting close to Theo's door. I want you to do me a favor and roll a perception check.

Oh, that was very good. That's probably better. I got on a limb and say I rolled a twelve. Yeah. So, Duncan, Duncan's not going to hear much. It sounds vaguely it just kind of sounds like like you hear kind of like a muffled like a voice every once in a while. But not nothing. Nothing very clear. You can't really make out what anyone's saying. It almost sounds like moaning. But but that's about it. That's that's pretty much all Duncan's going to pick up. Doesn't doesn't sound like anybody's in danger. So he just hears like light moaning, nothing like acted out, Jason.

Don't go half. Well, that's the problem with a twelve. I mean, like you're going to you're going to hear you're going to hear movement and moaning, but not not what what anyone's what anyone's saying. You you you're almost sure at one point someone shouts the name of monitor, but you're not quite sure what the context was. OK, Duncan walks back downstairs and he goes up to to being and Malchus. He kind of I think I think they were like chanting or like praying or something. Malchus looks over to be and goes, hmm, didn't tag Theo for a sinner saint thing, but I think I think he's safe, if nothing else.

Did you smell incense, Duncan? Oh, I didn't try to smell. You know, look at it, Malchus, like kind of that. Should we keep this going or keep him here? That kind of look like. I would say, Duncan, you know what, this is this is just going to be I think I think continuing to pursue this is only going to create confusing information and cause a lot of. So I think I think he's fine. And I think that tomorrow morning, just ask him how it went. Just let him know you're curious. OK, I can do that. Hey, you know, you know what's funny? The the girl that I said up there, I think she liked me.

Like, I know that people pay for it now, but I'm pretty sure that she liked me. Like, like, liked me. There's a lot of different kinds of like Duncan and Malchus kind of looks to Tevine to back him up. Yeah. You know how, like, you like cake, right? Yeah. I mean, it's no pie, but I like. Yeah. Would you want to have the sex with cake? Wait, I don't I mean, if you want to do that, I would feel good. She's like kind of double thinking how she just approached that. OK, how about no, that's not going to work either. You know, I think she may have liked you, but she may have also wanted you to pay for her to like you.

Oh. And she may have liked you, but she also may have viewed you as more of an entity to protect and nurture rather than someone to have sex with. Oh, OK. But that's not bad. I mean, she still was caring about you. Would you like another drink? How about you have another drink? To drinks. Um, and it looks at Malchus, do you think we should have Tevine meet Hazel? Because Hazel taught me that I shouldn't, you know, pee, but I think someone needs to teach her that you're not supposed to do it with cakes. I'll give her the express version when we when we're traveling.

I'll clear that one up. That one's not quite as complicated or awkward to explain. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. I'm just looking out for her. You are. That's exceptionally thoughtful. Hey, did you see anybody while I was up there? Duncan, this is a slow process. This is not this is not just walk out of walk out of your first class and flash your diploma around and say, hey, I know about the sex and then get the sex that very night. There's there's a period of time and you might get to know several people who are not suitable for the sex before you meet the one who you should be having sex with.

Because because I'm so special that I don't just want to give it out to everybody. Precisely. Exactly. OK, I like that. So when you're talking about the cake, Tevine was watching you because she's sitting right there. Oh, I know Duncan. So you weren't trying to whisper, were you? No. OK, so now did you are we going to do you want to role play anything with Theo in the room? I feel like I feel like it's only fair if I roll an endurance check because it has been established that during an activity like this, that's what we do. So let's let's see how well Theo's doing.

Let's let's hope you crit so bad. I hope he's a stallion. I hope he is. Are we ready? Yes. Live the dream, Theo. My body is ready. Oh, for a total of 11. Oh, does he get bonus because he's have his armor? It'd be like a plus two. I tried. It's not terrible. I mean, he's going to be walking funny. Yeah, well, I mean, it's been a long day for Theo. You know, he's got work on his mind. It's I mean, you know, he's he's changing careers. It's a bit stressful for Theo right now. He hasn't ever wrote a constitution yet. We're working on it. So how about we rest for the evening?

So everyone's going to go to their respective room. And Duncan and Malchus are sharing sharing a bunk here. Hours are going to pass. You guys are going to get some sleep and it is now going to be we're going to cross the threshold into the fifth of Thoram in the wee hours of the morning. Everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check. OK, I'm bad at those. Let's see here. To Veen and Duncan. To Veen and Duncan are going to wake up to the entirety of the Honest Harlot shaking, almost like it's an earthquake, something like that. And the entire building is going to be jostled.

This is going to go on for several seconds. And then the sound of everyone sort of this the sound of everyone sort of like moving around, like moving and shifting, like everyone's kind of panicked. Malchus goes, not the nets. So Malchus would wake up after the initial the initial shock just to hear like people moving and just the tail end of like the building kind of shaking like tremoring. Yeah, the entire the entire place is going to kind of be in a tizzy until it stops. And then it's just going to be people like like talking to each other like, what's that?

Like just kind of very confused and like a little upset. Are there I'm assuming there's windows in the rooms. Oh, yeah. So to Veen we would probably bolt to the window and try to look out and see like is building on fire and like, you know, quickly assess what the hell is going on. Duncan will wake up Malchus. What's going on? And Duncan, there's there's you didn't feel that you didn't feel the room just like the whole place just shaking. I thought it was in my dream. Armor up. Let's see what's going on. Okay, so we're getting ready. To be looking out the window.

Do me a favor. Roll a perception check. Well, it helps if I click on that. Okay. Um, to Veen is going to see like people in the people in the road like looking around everyone's kind of talking to each other, kind of like when an accident occurs or something like that. So it was cool. I was doing this and it happened, you know, and there's not a lot of that. You don't see anything around around town so much. There's a couple of like loose boards, something like that, where we're like some of the, you know, the buildings have taken a little damage, but that looks like it's from the shaking, not not a, you know, a dragon ripping through town or, you know, an explosion, something like that.

There's no fires. It doesn't look like there's any there's anything in town beyond beyond that initial shaking. Okay, then she'll go back and pull on her robes real quick and kind of just, you know, grab her things and step out in the hall and see if Duncan, Malchus, and Theo are out in the hall already or not. Um, do me a favor. Okay, is Duncan and Malchus leaving the room at all? Once I have a stuff on, I step in the hallway. All right, so you don't really need a perception check for this first part but Theo is going to leave. He's going to leave the room and Cessba is going to be just behind him.

Just just sort of wearing a robe. Theo is in most of his armor. Do me a favor, roll a perception check. Everybody? Yep. Okay. Oh, wow. I'm setting a pattern. Hopefully it's just for perceptions. I know I'm getting those bad rules out. Yeah. Let's see here. To Vina's going to notice Cessba lean in and appear to whisper something in in Theo's ear, and then very gently kiss him on the cheek. And then she's going to go back inside the room. Theo is going to turn and look, look at the rest of the party kind of like, Oh, like didn't expect them to be right there outside of the door when he when he left.

Hi. I was hoping Theo would just have like the deepest voice, just like, Oh hi everyone. He's kind of like makes like that just kind of like kind of stiffens his lips and gives gives the other thumbs up. Oh, I would imagine everyone felt the shaking just now. Yep. Marcus will rush out into whatever common room there is to see if there's any more info. Okay. So while Duncan and to be understand their. Do you have my gauntlets, please. Thank you. She's gonna reach around, you know, I'm assuming she just kind of maybe like tied them under her back or something and but I'm wasting them in hand and do you need to put them back on or you good to go.

Actually, yeah, please. You could just kind of force them back on. She'll pull them out and while she's popping them on, just be like, so it went well, I saw. Um, yeah, it was, um, it was really nice, actually. Do me a favor. Tevene Duncan, roll a perception check. Oh, geez. Oh, come on. Tevene, while putting on Theo's gauntlets. I'm going to notice one standout thing. Um, there are there appear to be. There there there appears to be markings on Theo's wrists that may or may not have been caused by the use of shackles of some sort. So if I lean in very quietly and very politely, does that need to be tended to or are you OK?

No, no, no, no, no. It's no, I don't need to know details. I just well, it was I. Yeah, it was fun. I'm like on the shoulder like good, I'm glad and just send him like a giant smile, like I'm glad. So Duncan Moses up to feel and kind of looks, make sure, you know, to be inspired, but make sure it goes, hey, you didn't just just I know a lot. You didn't even Peter, did you? Because you're not supposed to do that. What you didn't you didn't hear it, right? No, I could get good math. Why would you think that I don't think Theo? Don't ask. Don't ask. Miscommunications from a long time past.

We should probably go downstairs and make sure the place isn't collapsing. Yeah, what was up with the shaking? Sounds like Theo was a bad dragon. Jason, cut the promo. Yeah, everyone's going to seem really confused, like they no one no one knows what the hell caused that. But it was it things are slowly kind of returning to normal. Everyone's everyone's kind of up for the day. It would appear the sun is just kind of coming up. So everyone's. Yeah, that was just sort of a crappy way to start the day, but it doesn't appear as though the building's falling down or anything.

It just did. Yeah, I think people will be doing the same thing you guys are doing. Just just looking around like what the hell caused that? Malkus just kind of like looks to the nearest group of locals he can see and says, that's not usual here. Is that was my first night in town. Oh, everyone's going to shake their head like vigorously. Fuck no. That was that. No. OK. Duncan being curious about the whole thing. You said there's a lot of people outside. Yeah, obviously, most people at their house. OK. I think maybe Duncan will venture outside and what would the check be to kind of ask streetwise?

Check around? Streetwise? Yeah, please. OK. Well, 22. That's not bad at all. That's not that's that's completely admirable. There will be a tiefling woman sort of looks looks to be like the ringleader, maybe someone of note here in town. And people are going to be running up to her asking her, you know, essentially, what the hell was that? And she'd be mostly just getting them to to calm down and get their wits about them and then telling them that she would look into it personally and don't panic. So if Duncan is going to be is going to be walking around, would would he approach her or just sort of like listening with the group?

Just just is anybody is anybody coming with me? Does anybody want to? I'd probably be following, you know, just kind of following to keep an eye on everybody and, you know, look doing almost like a check to see if I notice anything that looks super striking that could have been part of whatever happened. Yeah, Theo would waddle along. Yeah, I'll follow. So Duncan will approach her and he goes, Hi, if you don't know, I'm Duncan Joybattam, bard, adventurer, expert on many things. Do you you seem to be in some authority around here? I take it she's going to reach her hand out.

Laren, yeah, I'm running the town for like a better term for now. Duncan Duncan trying to reluctantly shakes her hands. I don't know if that's going to get a reaction from anyone else. He actually shakes her. So if it's about the shaking, we're going to look into it. Everything's fine. Nothing's attacking the town. You can go about your business and. It'll be fine. I'm sure it was a passing thing. Probably just a tremor. But we'll look into it. What? I mean, do we know? Is it an earthquake? Any suspicions? Anything that might have happened recently that might cause it?

Well, if it makes you feel any better, if it were a dragon, we'd all be dead now. If it was something big enough to make a shockwave that large, it would either be an explosion or something dragon sized. So, Jason, could I do any kind of check to see if I would like I mean, because I lived here for a while or nearby. If I like could ever remember this happening. Give me either history or nature. Oh, nature, please. Oh, OK. That's why in in Tevien's time living here, she wouldn't have any recollection of there being any any any earthquake or tremor like this.

Like that was that was pretty the most you'd feel is like a slight jostle. And that's that's really rare. This was full on shaking, like something had exploded nearby or there was something stomping around that was really huge outside. OK, but I wouldn't know anything more like I mean, because it was a while before. Right. OK, so this was something that was so big, caused such a shake that it woke me. This is Duncan talking about that it woke the entire town up. But no one knows what it is. Again, we're going to look into it. I'm sure everything's fine. There's no reason to panic.

Malchus looks to the horizon, just kind of does a slow circle and looks to see smoke rising up, rubble. Give me a perception. This will go well. Bad at those, yeah. Say, could I do one for any reason? Yeah, I mean, if you're looking at. Yeah, if you're. Wow. All right. Working out the low B's. That's great. Super. Mine didn't go. Looking around the horizon, you don't see anything. You would figure that anything creature related or explosion wise, anything that would cause this kind of disturbance, you would figure there'd be some evidence of it, some physical like like like Malchus said, like some smoke or something with wings beating around some something and that you're not going to see anything.

That's burrowing. That is another possibility. So to me may whisper that like thinking because I'm thinking. Malchus, you or Duncan or Theo, even do any of you know of any large creatures that might burrow in this type of soil? Are we are we close enough to learn that she would hear that, too? I would imagine. Yeah, probably. I'm not asking like whisper anything. OK, gotcha. Just yeah, just so she hears it. Just make sure. Laring which I'm in, if you're thinking giant worms, we're not nearly in in the right climate for that. You're thinking way further north unless someone were to capture something and bring it down south.

But I can't think of any purpose for that. Also, I think that falls under the we'd all be dead category. Bingo. Yeah. Well, if it was just passing under, I guess it may have it may be trying to return home if somebody captured it and brought it south and it's heading back north or wherever, you know, passing through. Migratory? I don't know. Are they? Nature check. I'm... You would know better than I would. If that were a thing where worms migrate south for the for the winter or anything, even though it's coming on fall now, building a town in this location would have been a incredibly poor choice.

And everyone would probably be dead by now. Well, no, no, no. I was saying if somebody had captured it and traveled with it and then it was trying to make its way back to... Well, then it would be heading north, not not through here and beyond that, the tremendous pain in the ass that it would take to capture something like that would take it would take a small army, firstly. And then on top of that, it would be for some monumental purpose. Group one, the two of you, two of you would know that it would have to be a great deal of like money and entertainment value involved.

Like some kind of champions thing. Yeah. OK, but can it be a great worm and we have to go on a free willy style adventure to return it to its natural habitat? It would be a really short adventure because either you'd kill it or it would kill you. Go Wiggles! Go be free! Looks like it's leaping over you and then just mouth first on top of the party. *muffled* OK, so Malcus chimes in and says, well, we're not going to discover much sitting around here. And as we happen to have no leads on the issue, what if we just keep our eyes open and let's all go pet goats?

Quick question to Laren. So Tavine's going to turn her. Do you happen to know if there's reports coming from either end of the town? Maybe like it started towards one end and then, quote unquote, traveled through? Because then that would give us a direction that whatever this was, was traveling in. Again, we're just sort of finding out about this, but it seemed like the entire town was just shaking. And again, we'll ask around, we'll try to get all the information we can if you want to check back in at some point. But look, we're just getting the town to a place where we can rebuild and calm some folks down.

So we're trying not to do anything that would rile them up again. Don't mention dragons. Got it. Thank you. Tavine's going to smile. My name's Tavine. We'll be around. And again, she'll hold her hand out. Laren Grace. Tavine will shake it. Jason, can I do a check to know if I know her or recognize the name? Sure. History? Yeah. Would that be a history? Sure. Oh. Ooh. The name's not going to sound familiar at all, really. Well, the name sounds familiar to Malchus, right? Grace, at least? The grace part might. Here's the thing. Yeah, that wouldn't ring any bells with Tavine.

It might with Malchus. I can try. History is not my strong suit. It wouldn't be a history check. It would just be like you met someone with that last name. It would just be a straight intelligence check, wouldn't it? Is it so I don't know immediately who I met? I mean, let's do an intelligence check just to see if you'd make the connection. Well, my history and my intelligence are going to be the same. Okay, well, whatever. I'll throw in history. Oh, shit. That's the one you get a crit on. Yeah, of all the things. Okay. Well, Malchus did meet a Jadzia Grace. This would be a little while back, but yeah.

Was this... This would be in Winterhaven. In Winterhaven, defending Winterhaven? Yep. Okay. Attached to your brother. Yeah, yeah. That's deep trauma. That's why it was buried. Don't suppose a Jadzia rings a bell, does it? Laren's going to stiffen up. As a reminder, Laren is a tiefling. Tieflings can get an expression on their face when they sort of tense up or get defensive or angry. It can be imposing. Tieflings can have a resting bitch face about them. It's not their fault. It's just that's... They call it resting tiefling face. They do. Yeah, they do. That's what it is.

Man, that guy's got tiefling face. He's so happy, but you wouldn't know it. He's in the T-Zone. How do you know Jadzia? We crossed paths briefly. Winterhaven. Prior to the fall of the Overwatch. I would not go as far as to say I know her. I just more so know of and briefly worked with her. Was she alright? What was she doing? What were you working on? Defending Winterhaven. She was part of that? She was, yes. As I recall, she came with a number of others like ourselves. Adventuring types. I remember she helped, but I don't... Let's just say we didn't really get to know each other.

Okay. And so this was weeks and weeks ago since you've seen her then? Before the Overwatch fell. Do you know where she was heading? Do you have any info on where she might be? I'm afraid not. She was in the company of my brother, Valus, who I also have not seen in quite a while. Wait. You know for a fact she's okay. Or was okay. Yes. Well, weeks ago, I do. Dangerous profession. In the event she's still traveling with my brother, he was expected in Brightport more recently than I saw your sister. Alright. So she's safe. Or was. And she helped defend Winterhaven. And she's traveling with the Butcher of Brightport.

Well. I wonder what brother's been up to. Ah. Don't suppose you hold anything against me for that Butcher of Brightport thing being his brother? No blood oath against the family? Anything of that regard? I've only heard stories about him. I've never met him. I've heard no good stories. Well, the important part is, at some point, Jadzia was traveling with my brother. And in the event that you would like more recent information, you could send a letter or visit to my mother. He would have certainly touched base with her if he made it into town. Tessia Gribnis.

I'll try to get some mail there right away. Thank you. You don't have any idea how much this means to me. Well. Did my good for the day. Let's go pet goats. So, Tavine would be leading the way to this farm. And it's kind of a dirt road that, you know, after you leave Durnhollow proper, there's the main road that people travel. And then there's like this long winding dirt road. So before we get to the long winding, I guess like the driveway kind of thing, I'm going to kind of turn to the party and I want to just kind of clarify to them, like, okay, guys, I don't know if they still live here.

I should clarify before we go up there that I was property of sorts, but I was released. My father and I were bought and worked on the farm. And the son I was friends with the mother and father. I didn't particularly have anything for or against. They know we're the owners of the house. So just to clarify what the situation was, this wasn't like my childhood home or anything. This is where I grew up. Malchus just lets that hang for a minute. And he's like, I think I'm going to call it a trend that this profession attracts people with damaged pasts, myself included.

I just that's becoming a pattern that I see. She's like a wide-eyed me like, I'm not not damaged. No, no, no, not you. You're but I mean, like traumas and things like that. I wasn't particularly traumatic either. It was actually quite pleasant. I just thought you guys might want to know kind of what we're going up to in case it's a little weird, since I haven't seen him in gosh, well over a decade, somewhere around 15 years at least. You didn't mind being property? I was more of a companion, not in a and she's gonna look at Duncan, not in a paid way in a friend to keep their only son company.

You know, I learned with him and we, you know, skipped rocks on the lake kind of thing. So I grew up with this boy. I apologize for jumping jumping to conclusions. No, no, it's OK. It's definitely not the typical way that people are kept as property. Well, lead on. OK. You guys are going to be walking down this road for a while. This farm is pretty out of the way. So you're just kind of walking along. It's it's it's kind of cool out today, actually, and sort of gray overcast. Looks like it might rain at some point. And Theo would kind of be sort of just stomping along.

Every once in a while, you can hear him double time it where he's he needs to pick up slack, just kind of catch up with the rest of the group. Everyone do me a favor as you approach the farm. Give me a perception roll. Oh, I see everything. You're genuinely happy. I am. Hey, I bet we need to train you in perception somehow. We need to get you glasses or something. That's what other party members are for. Look. All right. That's called delegation, delegation of. Other people have eyeballs, so I don't have to. Hey, even Theo saw some stuff. Nice. All right. So everyone in the party, as you approach this place, it is going to become apparent that it has fallen into disrepair.

Let's call it. There is a sign that there's a sign that reads Elf Talon Farm that is kind of hanging by one hinge. It's it's sort of swinging in this gentle breeze, sort of a creaking sound. You don't see any livestock. The grass looks like it's very overgrown. And it it for all intents and purposes, looks like this place is abandoned and maybe has been abandoned for a while. And poking around the the farmhouse, Taveen's going to spot a larger kind of husky bald gentleman. And he's going to be poking around the entrance to this place, sort of stepping in into it and then out again like he's looking for something.

So how are we approaching the house at this point? I would say you're approaching the house. Yeah. Taveen will just kind of like, I guess, well he's not looking at us, so she'll just kind of call out like, "Good afternoon." This gentleman is going to appear very startled and then whip around and he's going to brandish a knife at you like a like a small dagger type of thing. Who are you? Just visitors. And she has her spear in one hand, but she's not going to like she's going to hold her hands up almost like, you know, that we come in peace kind of motion.

I was just looking to see if the owner of the farm was still around. Well, you are not from around here, are you? These people have been dead for a long time. He's going to start to move toward you. He just like manifests his blade of darkness in his hand and just like narrows his eyes to the guy. Yeah, and he's going to stop dead when you do that. How do I know you're not one of them? Who's one of them? He's going to squint his eyes. Let me get a better look at you. Just me or all of us? A whole lot of you. Is he moving closer? Creeping closer, yeah. And he's going to put his knife down a little bit, but not put it away.

Can I run an intimidate check? Sure. Oh wow, what do you say to him? Hey buddy, you can get a closer look. You can either drop your knife or you can get a closer look from over there. But you're not bringing that knife closer to us. Hmm. It's pretty intimidating. It is. I think Tavine looks down like, "Whoa, where the hell did that come from?" Like it's very authoritative, which does not sound like Duncan most of the time. Yeah, but one of his friends is in trouble. Or that's how he looks at it. Aww. *laughs* Alright. You know what? I've never heard one of them talk like that, so I'm going to assume you people are on the level.

And I'm going to let you help me here today. Uh, what exactly do you want help with? I've been tracking them. For a while now. Years. And I think they came through here. Who is they? You...shhh. Keep your voice down. And he's going to motion for you to move closer to him. Okay. Duncan does. Okay. I think everyone here was either killed or captured. I found blood in the house, spattered everywhere. I found claw marks on the door frame. And I found an old body, back behind the house, with bite marks in the neck. You know what that tells me? What does that tell you?

Lizard men. Oh no! Oh my god! The Artillian. Is this David Cockner that I'm talking to? *laughs* Kind of an amalgamation between him and Jesse "The Body" Ventura a little bit. This is solid voice, this is a good new one. I like this. So Duncan just gets this real serious look on his face. Wait. Reptilians? Reptilians. Yeah. One and the same. I think they roll through town and take people. Yeah? And either kill them, or put them someplace no one's ever gonna find them. And then they take their place. I've ran into it before. In Fairbay and Esterhold. And no one believes me.

But you. You look smart. That's why I'm trusting you with this investigation. Um. Can you give me and my friends one minute? Just one minute. I'm gonna let them know what's going on. Is that alright? Sure, but time is of the essence. Oh, I know. So Duncan backs up about ten feet and then motions for everybody to come over. Okay. Tavino, walk up. Is everything okay, Duncan? Or what is this? I think this guy's on the level. I think this guy hasn't had this sex in a while. I've heard about this before. Reptilians have taken over, and I understand it. I think we need to listen to this guy.

He's letting us help him. So I think we should. What a privilege. Theo? Mm-hmm? This is gonna be the thing you're remembered for if we take care of this. You understand that, right? When you say "take care of," how do you mean? Well, we can't let the Reptilians come and take over everyone's body. You could be next, Theo. I don't... So Jason? Mm-hmm? That nature check. Would that tell me if I know anything about Reptilian men and taking over bodies? Tevin has not heard of a creature nor heard of anyone talking about a creature that is a lizard that body snatches people.

Like, Tevin has never heard of this thing. And Tevin likes to consider... I would imagine Tevin would consider herself fairly knowledgeable on the subject of nature and creatures and such. Mm-hmm. And she has never heard of this. Good. Player is not confused either. Or player is confused also. So she's gonna... Duncan is okay if I talk to him for just a moment. I mean, if we have time. I just don't know if we have enough... We have to take care of this really quickly. So Tevin's gonna... Okay, hold on one second. And she's gonna walk over to the man and she's gonna keep her spear not angled at him or anything.

You know, make sure that it's obvious that she's not walking up to stab him or something. Right. Because he already seems edgy. And she's gonna be like, "You said that you see there's something going on here and something about some lizard men." "Can you show us what evidence you have, maybe? Or what evidence you think may..." "Show us why you think this, please." Oh, I'll show ya. He is going to start to take you on a tour of this house, which would look familiar to Tevin. Mm-hmm. I mean, it definitely looks like there was some kind of forced entry at some point.

It definitely looks like something attacked these people. I've been tracking them for a while, and I got some info that people seem to think that this place is either haunted or something diabolical happened to them. Everyone's afraid to come up here, but not me. Where did you track them from? And he's gonna look. Your little friend didn't tell ya. He just said that you'd been tracking them and there were some lizard men and some body snatching. No. I've been on this case for years. I think... and he's gonna kind of lean in like he's sharing some really privileged information.

I think they came from someplace uninhabitable, like up north. And then I think they infiltrated their way down south. I think they're planning a full-fledged takeover. And how do I know that you are not one of them? I like you. You ask the tough questions, and that's what's gonna see us through this. Did he show her the body? Eventually. Eventually he would take you way back around the house here. And yeah, it does look like there is some blood spatter type of thing. Do me a favor. Roll a perception check, actually. Everyone or just... Just Tevine right now.

She's being shown... [LAUGHTER] I see everything again. You are being incredibly lucky right now. I know. Don't jinx it. Yeah, this looks like at least one person got drug away. Now, there's gonna be a sign that maybe people were kind of digging into the wood to resist. There's definitely signs of a struggle. I mean, it's kind of tough to tell. It looks like years have passed. It looks like one of them was taken behind the house, and that might be the body that he's getting ready to show you. And one of them was just drug in a completely separate direction.

Okay. The body appears to be female. Again, it's old. Almost, you know, it's pretty decayed left out to the elements. And it looks as though all the blood has been drained out of it. But I don't recognize it. Nope. Good. You make me cry, Jason. All right. So Tevine's just gonna kind of... She's looking at the body. I guess she's gonna kind of kneel down next to her and just take a very deep breath. She looks like she might be a little bit... I don't know the word. Just like uneasy. And she's gonna just take a deep breath. I don't recognize this person. That's good.

And then she's gonna turn to, I guess, the rest of the party. So, any guesses on this one? What one? Sir, she's gonna look at Malchus. I think he may? I mean, he's traveled a bit. So maybe he has some insight or Duncan or Theo. Any insight? Lizardmen? I mean, that sounds reasonable to me. I've... Well, vampires drain blood. I've fought vampires before. I hear that there are werewolves, but of things with which I'm actually familiar, vampires are werewolves. The blood thing certainly puts points in the vampire column. I am unfamiliar with any sort of lizard man conspiracy substitution sort of creature.

You are so naive. That is exactly what they want you to think. The greatest trick that the Lizardmen ever pulled off was convincing people like you that they're not real. So at this point, I'm picturing us facing him. And Duncan just kind of crosses over to his side and turns around. I see how this goes. He goes, "Hey man, look, these guys are my friends, right? And the tiefling over there, Malchus, he's my friend too. But I'll be honest with you, he went away for like a week one time. I'm just saying, I don't..." Oh, for crying out loud. Okay, little man, this is very important.

Okay. Does your friend act differently than the last time you saw him? Sometimes. I mean, sorry Malchus. I mean, you are Malchus. Sometimes scared. Duncan's just looking scared. He's kind of cowering a little bit. No, not... He had one haircut and the next thing you know you're a lizard man. He had a haircut and he had books and he was like acting smart. It was weird. Did he do things that he normally wouldn't do? Or say things he normally wouldn't say? Malchus chimes in and goes, "Do you mean like this?" And he uses his wings power, he uses his daily, blows that to just like spread giant devil bat wings out behind him.

Okay, this guy's going to shit himself. Like just plain shit himself. And unless someone stops him, he's going to take off running. I might try to grab him and be like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Even though Tavine hasn't seen it before, I'm assuming Tavine would not have seen this in your travels. No, I would say he's not. It's probably not something he just blows normally. She's just like, "Her eyes are giant." She's like, "It's okay, I think. It's okay. Just shh." So do I have to do anything to grab him? Do me a favor, roll an athletics check. It won't have to be really high though.

Athletics? Okay, good. That'll do it, yeah. Okay, your friend is really dangerous. I don't know if he's a lizard man or not, but I'm sensing definite demon influences. Oh, I promise you that. He's not wrong. That's how it works. Listen, Yokel. Do you want to be cooperative? First of all- Is your name Yokel? What's your name? My name's Morgan. Morgan Osgood. And I carry a certain reputation around here and I do not want that side. Man, that's a good name. That is such a good name. I will work with you people. You're gonna have to be a bit more discreet than- and he's kind of waving his hand to all that with the wings.

Believe me, it's as scary to lizard men as it is to you. Okay. Do you have any actionable intelligence? The evidence is all around us. You just have to look. What are you about to do with it? I haven't thought about that yet. Morgan! Did you feel that shaking this morning? I did. Do you think that it could have been something to do with the lizard men? Of course it's connected! It all makes sense now. You don't think they've been planning this since the beginning? I never thought about that. Wait. Do you think it could have been like their- their- their- their- whatever's taking them places?

What do they have? What- what- what- what do they travel in? If we find that out, we could blow this case wide open. We could. Guys, we have to put everything else on hold. This is- I vote- and he puts his hand up in the air- I vote this is our thing now. Like forever or like just for like the couple of days it's going to take to solve it? Nah. You think you're gonna solve this in two days? I've spent years. No wonder you've gotten this far. This wouldn't be our first conspiracy theory that we- that we uh- that we were able to blow out of the water. Remember the whole Overwatch thing?

That was us. So uh, Tevin's gonna- she still has her hand I guess like on the guy's shoulder. Uh, on Morgan's shoulder. Uh, you- I'm assuming you live somewhere nearby. Uh, is there any chance we could reconvene at your house and go over any and all notes that you have? Uh, five- five brains are better than one working on something like this. I'm really surprised Malkus is letting this happen. [Laughter] I'm gonna be staying in Duran Hollow. But only for about another week. I can't let this trail get cold. And the entire time his eyes are like bulging wide like can't you see?

Oh gosh. You know what? You know what? We're on our way to Winterhaven. I bet with all the power in Winterhaven there's- they probably know something about this. Don't you think so? We are not adopting this one. No no no. He can stay but I- what I'm saying is, obviously we don't want too many people. But if I go, I'll get some intel at Winterhaven and I'll bring it back. That is smart. Your friend is smart. And he's pointing- he's pointing to Malkus. [Laughter] You know, uh, I came back from the dead, Morgan. I don't know who that is. I don't doubt it. That part's true.

He's not lying. That one's the truth. [Laughter] Malkus turns to T'Vin and says, "Well, I know you said you didn't have any guarantee that they'd be here in the first place, but I imagine this is less than settling for your spirit." That's uh, putting it nicely. I would definitely like to at least find out what happened to them and, I mean, even if it's not who I was looking for. Well, for your sake and not for the sake of whatever he is, let's do our best. Theo, sorry about the goats, buddy. Do you think they heard the goats too? [Laughter] Well, wizard men eat goats, isn't that right, Morgan?

You know what happens? No! He's just gonna be like- he's gonna be visibly distraught at that. I'm just- Morgan's the ex- I mean, I know a little, but Morgan- they do eat goats, right? They don't become goats. They- don't be stupid. Of course they don't become goats. Right. It would be silly. Okay. You are clearly the leader of this group. It's true. I am. Every time, every single time, I am gonna show you something that even baffles me. Okay. Okay. Come here, roll. You guys stay here. He's good to talk. First it was Diana, then it was Yenward. It's never Malchus anymore.

Nobody's like, "Wow, that's the leader with the big bad wings? That guy?" I'm assuming Devine can hear this. Malchus is saying it's Devine. Oh, okay. She's gonna be like, "It's okay. I don't even understand what is going on at this moment. We're all having meltdowns and it's fine." He just learned about the sex yesterday. He is not the leader. Sorry. Duncan looks over his shoulder like he kinda hears something and he goes, "Theo, come with me." Duncan, take good notes. And to me, he's gonna like look at him like, "We need the information. Take good notes." I'm bringing Theo with me.

I am coming, but I am coming under duress. No, Malchus. You stay. Theo, you come with me. Malchus is coming. Are you kidding me? Theo is gonna like, "Okay." And just like double time it. Okay. Hunker down. I do something. I found the body in the back. There's a clear trail leading from the house. But there was a second person. That trail goes cold somewhere in that field. I found blood, but no body. Now, it is possible that the Lizard Men just took that body somewhere, but that's not usually their MO in a situation like this. If everyone's dead and they left the other body and they weren't trying to be discreet, this was about sending a message.

To you, right? Well, I'm not clear on that yet. But the second trail, the wider stance, it looked like it might have been a man. So, I figure if we find the man body, we can jump start some of these clues and be hot on their trail again. Yeah, that sounds good. That sounds good. Let me, uh, you wanna do that now? Again, time is of the essence. Let me go talk to my friends. I got it. Come on, Theo. Let's go. Theo's gonna just be getting to you guys when you are wrapping up and he is going to, like, okay. And just start, like, and then start muscling his way back to where the group is standing.

Okay, guys. Here's the deal. There's another, uh, he's kind of looking back at Morgan, just kind of making sure he's saying this right. There's another body and the trail goes cold in the field over there. Yeah. And he thinks that it's a dude or a man. He thinks it's a man's body. Um, now, lizard men usually don't just leave, uh, or, anyway, it's in the field and we need to go look in the field. Uh, quick question, Justin. Mm-hmm. Is there any kind of check we could do to check the tracks to see if we can tell about how old they are? You can give a perception check.

That would be a really tough one. Which means they're really old, but okay. Yeah. Um, to Tevien, um, what it looks like is, uh, it's a wider stance. It looks like a, like, much more of a struggle was put up. And this, these, these, these tracks are sort of dug into the ground. Like, this person was really putting up a fight. It appears as though this person, um, may have stopped struggling somewhere out in this field. And it's very, very faint. But it looks as though at a different time, this person may have stood back up and walked away alone. Does, does Tevien explain that to us?

Yeah, she would, she'd pass it on as she was, like, you know, looking like, okay, so, you know, they're struggling here. I'm guessing he got weaker, maybe passed out, I don't know, something, but then he got back up, whoever it was. Or the lizard people took over his body. Hey, listen, Morgan. That would be the more sane conclusion to jump to, I think. Do they duplicate themselves or actually physically climb inside of the new body? Duplicate themselves? Okay, if you're not going to take this seriously. I'm asking seriously because here's the thing. He was dragged up to this point and then one footsteps walk away.

If he duplicated himself, then there would be two sets of footprints. I'm only seeing one. They go inside the, jeez. Where'd you find this rube? She's gonna look at Duncan. Hey, I'm helping. Well, we got to the farm and there he was. Ha! They usually take the bodies off to an undisclosed location. They would never do something like that out in the open. That's how people see you getting sloppy. They're getting sloppy. They were desperate. Tavine's gonna grab Morgan's shoulders and kind of shift him over so that his feet line up in the tracks to see if it looks like a natural stance for his gait, basically.

Does it match? Morgan's would be a little larger. His stance is a little wider. Morgan's kind of a portly gentleman, almost. So you're guessing this person was probably a little smaller, a little like on the lighter side. Okay. She's gonna point to him and then point down, "I know it's not you." Of course it's not me. I'm alive. I'm just double checking and making sure. Does he sound like a lizard man to you? Who could it be? Where could they have gone? Guys, I hate to stop for the night, but I feel like that's a good place to stop for now. I didn't want to head out into the field without, you know, because I thought that might take us somewhere else.

I wanted goats, dammit! I'm not saying you won't get goats eventually. Gosh, Jason. What's happening? We can't just end Theo's character right now. He has to have something to look forward to. I like that group one just became Twin Peaks. Like, that's what we're doing. I don't understand what just turned into him. There were no goats. We're all having meltdowns now. Jason, you better hope Tom doesn't listen to this episode. Tom's not gonna listen to this. Tom never listens to the show. He would be so angry at you. This episode has been fantabulous. He was pushing for lizard men back in like episode 10.

Oh, jeez. That would be the thing that entices him back. Wait, was it reptilians? We're in. I'm back. Charging out of nowhere. That was a lot of fun. That was a blast. We will, I guess, meet on the group page and kind of talk about it. That was awesome. That was insanely fun, guys. Seriously, that made my night. Thank you so much. I hope people like it. Okay, well, I will talk to you guys later. All right, guys. I will see you. Bye. Hey, everybody out there. We really hope that you enjoyed today's episode. And if you'd like to support us, you can go to patreon.com/dandr.

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