Visiting Team

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Episode 155 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you once again by Bad Dragon. In the past few weeks we've received lots of your messages and emails. After visiting their site, it seems like you want to know two things. One, what's Bad Dragon? And two, dear God, what the hell is that thing? Well, for one, Bad Dragon makes high-end, fantasy-themed adult toys.

And by the way, that thing is Pretzel, the swamp worm. Every toy on Bad Dragon's website can be customized and colored to your exacting standards. So you always get exactly what you want. Bad Dragon wants to make sure that you are one satisfied customer. So visit DNRPodcast.com and click on the big Bad Dragon banner at the top of the page. And go see what all the fuss is about. Bad Dragon. Making fantasies real. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table starting with Kira.

I am Kira, I play a dwarven cleric named Zoya Rook. And Karen. Hi, I'm Karen, I play arena stonebreaker, a mole paladin. And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa and I play LRF Beestinger, the halfling barbarian. And listen, everyone, Valerie... Rude, but hi, I'm Valerie. And I play Sora Greywing, the halfling ranger. I'm Jason. Good show, everybody. You guys made it out of Lockfort. Congratulations. You wrapped up everything in Lockfort. You're on the road. You are out on your own and on the way back to Overwatch. Right now, you're in the peaceful little town, mostly peaceful, of Fair Bay.

And while Fair Bay isn't under attack by anything, it's not on fire, it isn't having political drama, it's really pretty much a nice peaceful place on the water. There is a bit of a dude bro element in the bar right now. The tipsy pig and you guys sort of took umbrage at a couple of individuals, Brock and Krista, who were in the bar and appeared to be wearing bits and pieces of armor from fallen teammates that had died in the Divide. When confronted about this, they not only copped to it, but pretty much told you to fuck off. A confrontation emerged, but not a fight yet.

Essentially, Brock and Krista, at the very least Brock, sort of want to fight you. And while you said that you'd meet them outside, as not to break anything in the bar, it also sounded like you were going to make them wait. How's about we pick up right after they walk out of the bar, everyone's going to be sort of looking at you guys, kind of like, "Okay, thanks for, thanks for..." Some of them are going to be like, "Oh, thanks for shutting him up." A couple of them are like, "Hey, I was listening to him. He was a good storyteller." And all of them are just going to sort of be concerned, this kind of thing doesn't happen in Fair Bay too often.

It's not a, it's not a big thing here. How would you guys like to deal with stuff? What would you like to do? Um, okay, I don't know if I dreamed this, but didn't I like punch him in the balls or something? That did, that did occur, yes. Where's my food? Did you say that? Zora's just going to turn around and go back to the table and just kind of wait for her food. Like, as if nothing happened. The lorats probably going to stand there confused. She's like, "Wait, what? I thought we were fighting." Yeah, Zora's going to be just completely mystified and look at Irina like, "What?

What's going on?" I mean, they want to go outside and fight? I'd rather do it on a full stomach. Okay. Ouch. Okay. She's so confused right now, because she had your back. You were just sitting down to eat dinner and you were like, "What?" So the rest of the team is pretty much under the impression, it's like, "Alright, alright, street fight, let's go!" And then Zora sits back down and is like, "Alright, I'm going to have the..." and starts looking at the menu and shit. I thought we already ordered. Yeah, I'm saying though, for like, yeah. He's trying to paint a picture, Karen?

Sorry? I apologize? It's not a big deal at all. So Irina will slowly go back and sit down at the table. I think everyone was pretty much expecting you to leave. And eventually, she's just going to bring over food and, you know, just... She's going to be very concerned, like, sitting the food and... Are you going to be okay? That guy's pretty big. We can take him. And Zoya will look over and it's like, "I suppose if they can, I can heal them." She's going to set the food down and just kind of leave you alone. It's like, "Alright," and back off. Do me a favor, everyone roll a perception check.

Oh, this is the one I'm good at, guys. Yep. Yes! I perceive all. Hell yeah! Oh my. Fuck yeah! So everyone else starts... everyone in the party starts looking around the bar, except for Irina, who puts on her blindfold and... [Laughter] You're going to notice that everyone in the bar is now... It's still rubbing my neck. [Laughter] Everyone in the bar is now looking at you guys. I mean, I'm okay with that. Fuck 'em. Elor have to probably just glare at them like, "What?" Zoya's just going to give him a little wave and a shrug like, "I don't know." Yeah, these guys are... they're going to leave you alone, but it is just kind of like...

If you look back at them, it's like, "Oh, whatever," and kind of looking down. Because this guy was pretty large, and if it's a one-on-one fight, which is, I think, what most people think it's going to be... Like, at least you two versus, you know, like Elorath and Sor versus those two or something like that, they're like, "Oh, I don't know how this is going to go." They really just don't... like, they're not used to anyone fighting in their town. That's just not a thing. So yeah, they'll leave you in peace and let you eat your meal. So as we're kind of eating, Sor is going to kind of look at Elorath in the eyes and say, "I think we should explain what's going on here." An explanation would be very nice to what just happened.

Okay, probably for the best. When we started out, there were six of us, and we were on our way to Aubrey. And as we left Aubrey to go to Lockfort, which is where we met you, Arena, we were ambushed. And they were like, "We're going to kick your ass," and we're like, "No!" And they did. And they ended up killing two of our party members, and we buried them with all of their things in a place that was off of the road after we dispatched of the orcs. And we buried them with all their stuff, and those assholes are wearing their stuff. So they went and they dug up our friends and put their shit on.

Wait, they stole from your friends' graves? Yes. They dug them up, and they took their stuff. That is repulsive. Yes. Which is why she punched him in the dick. Why are we still sitting here, and why aren't you not continuing to punch them in the dick? Oh, oh, I will. But I'd rather let them wait. I just want to punch them in the face. But I will have your back because... That was awesome! Thanks, it kinda was. You should punch them in the penis more often. There's a new level of respect. Elrath is so excited that Sora punched somebody in the penis. Because that sounds like something she would do.

She's like, "My little friend is growing up." Everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check for me. Oops. Man, this soup is tasty. Let's see. Zoya, Sora, and Erina. You're gonna hear Brock kind of scream at you from outside. And it starts off as him doing that thing where someone's just talking really loudly to try to get somebody's attention, but not necessarily addressing you. "I'm gonna kick someone's fucking ass today!" That kind of thing. Just screaming. Just trying to get your attention without actually calling you out. Then a few more minutes are gonna go by and then he's just gonna start addressing you.

And trying to get you to come outside. I understand that they did something pretty deplorable, but aren't you guys just kind of done fighting? It just doesn't seem worth it, you know? That's part of the reason why I wanted to eat first. I was kind of too in the moment to think what I was doing through. Still want to kick their ass, though. Oh yeah, totally. What if we got all your friend's stuff back? What if instead of going out there and starting this huge brawl in this town that we know nothing about, we just got your friend's stuff back and maybe sent them on their way?

Not 100%, but maybe thinking twice about doing the things that they've done? I'm okay with that. I just... I think I want their stuff back. Can we smack them around a little? I didn't say send them off 100%. Hell yeah. But I think if we go out there with a clear focus on what we are actually after, rather than what we want to do on impulse, we might come out with a better conclusion. You and your talking. But if it doesn't work, can we kick their ass? Of course. Yes. I would never vouch for not defending yourself when attacked. Do you really think we'll be able to talk them around after Sora has landed the first blow, so to speak?

I could go out there and talk to them myself. No, no. We stay together. We fight together, we stay together. That's what you want to do. It is your friend's possessions. They are your friend's possessions. Ugh. So, are we done eating now? That's up to you guys. I mean, this roasted boar is delicious, so... I thought that was the session. We're just going to sit here and have a pleasant conversation. Roleplay eating? Yeah. Pass the bread. I do have some chocolate covered raisins here. So you guys are going to go outside? Let's fucking do it! Here's what we're going to do.

Let me hand you guys a map. Just in case. The second you leave this bar, everyone's going to watch you leave, and there's a bit of a crowd formed outside. Like, this guy... OK. It's not enough that there was a bit of... there's a bit of a row in the bar itself, but... You know, this guy screaming in the streets is kind of a spectacle. Like, if this were to happen in Brightport, I don't think people would bat too much of an eye, because there's a fight in Brightport every, like, 25 minutes. Something like that. This is kind of an event for this little town.

They don't fight each other in the streets and stuff. I'll see you at three o'clock on the playground! Hey, Jason! Right. Jason, can I do something? Oh, God. I guess. Can I, like, kind of go over to some of the people in the crowd and just start a little whisper campaign? It's like, oh, they're grave robbers. Ooh! That's interesting. Incite the crowd. The way you think, madam. I'm afraid that'll become a game of telephone and it'll turn into... They're... shave bobbers. Doesn't matter, but... You know what? That's what I want to do. No, that's totally cool. We can do that.

That's interesting. So, do me a favor and let... oh, God. Is there anyone in the crowd that I know that I could kind of pass it on to who would then pass it on? Because you know how things move around like that. All right, so you want to start a... not a rumor, necessarily. You actually want to tell the truth in the crowd, but just kind of say, hey, these guys are assholes, that kind of thing. Yes, exactly. Okay. Because I don't want, like, the crowd sort of swinging over to their side and attacking us from the back. I don't know if there's much of a threat of the crowd siding with these two, but...

Unlikely, but it's always good to have them on your side. I agree. Do me a favor and roll a streetwise check to kind of get the word out on the street. Okay. That's sadly not one of my high ones, but... Oh! Hey! Nice. Ooh, wow, that's a nice high roll. That's a 21 for the folks at home. Do me a favor, everyone roll perception firstly, because I want to set a... I want a little scene setting here. Oh, my God. Damn it. Wow, I saw something, guys. I saw something. Almost a cray. Aaron, I feel like you and I are just going to train off all game, right? If I see something, you don't, and if you see something, I don't.

Exactly. Let's do this. We'll tag team. Okay. Well, the entire party is going to see that there are about 25 to 30 people gathered around here. It's a healthy gathering, and after you left the bar, more people are leaving the bar. Do you remember when you guys were walking into town and I mentioned that there were some lovely drow individuals sort of taking up residence in one of the buildings, sort of standing guard outside of it? Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. Well, a few more drow are going to leave that building and walk toward this commotion and stand fairly near, like just kind of like the crowd is going to part when they see them coming, like, oh, shit, and just sort of move aside and let them walk.

And it's a male and two females, and they're both just going to... they're all just going to sort of fold their arms and just stand there and watch this all unfold. Let's see. Arena, Zoya, and Sora are going to notice that, one, they look sort of bemused by all this. Like, they're not too heavily invested in the politics of Fair Bay. They don't look like they give a shit, especially about whatever it is you're fighting about in a local bar or something. It doesn't really matter to them. But you're going to notice that the townsfolk here are really frightened of them, that either they have a reputation or maybe they've done something once they've been in town that has garnered them a reputation, and they're going to kind of give them a wide berth and back off.

Meanwhile, Brock and Krista are doing an elaborate display of flexing and stretching and getting ready. Brock is making a show of jumping up and down and like kind of like wrenching his own neck, like, all right, all right, let's get just like just oh yeah, he is... Zoya is going to start, as the drow are walking up, just kind of telling people to get in the grave robbers, guys, let's like, you know, and you're going to see that they are sort of whispering to each other because the first thing a lot of people are going to say, what are these guys fighting about?

Because again, not a common occurrence. And as that question is being asked, a lot of people are going to have like, it's like, oh, I heard the grave robbers. Yeah. And it's a pretty good role. Otherwise, it would be like, purple monkey dishwasher. Like it would be... Jason, is there anybody else in the crowd or around that kind of just doesn't look like they belong to the town? There's a couple of travelers. Like, there's a couple of people who are either clearly like merchants, something like that. Okay, no henchmen. Does one look like a smuggler? Wow, that is on the note.

If you look like a smuggler, you're probably smuggling incorrectly. There's a few people who look like they're merchants, like, you know, traveling by wagon, transporting goods. The drow are the most out of place in this entire thing because not only are they not trying to fit in, they kind of stand out anyway, but they're not, they're definitely not trying to fit in. They're definitely traveling with each other. Most of them are wearing very similar looking armor, except for the gentleman standing nearest you guys. He's kind of off by himself. Everyone else looks like just like villagers, town folk, that type of thing.

Okay. Are you guys going to make the first move or are you waiting for them to make the first move? Because they are just about done their prep here for the fight. I want to, I'm going to do a thing. No, no, it's going to be good. Okay. It's going to be good, guys. It better be fucking good. So, Sora's going to walk up a little bit. And she's going to say, I don't want to have to fight you. I just get those things that you found. They were on my friends' bodies and I think I'd like to have them back. Do me a favor and roll a diplomacy check for me. Yay! Almost a crit!

Wow. Brock is going to step forward. Irena is going to step forward and loom behind Sora. Oh, wait. Zoya, are you still in the crowd? I am at your backs. I would imagine it was just pulling someone aside and saying, hey, this is fucked up. Chris is still brandishing this knife, by the way. Is it my knife? It's a knife. And it looks like Brock has got this weird -- it looks like kind of a chainish object, but barbed. Kind of like it has -- it's almost like a chain wrapped in barbed wire, almost. It's a really -- it's a real scavenger-esque weapon. It's not like he got a blacksmith to make this for him.

It's very kind of a dirty fighting type of thing. He's going to try to garrotte you. It's a ghetto cat and hunt. And he's going to get right up in Sora's face and just make a big show, almost stand on his tippy toes, make a big show of looming over her. Like, I'm literally four feet, but okay, sir. Right, yeah, it's not enough. It's like, I got to show how much bigger I am than you, that kind of thing. Like, it's -- you fucking sucker punched me. And he's going to -- like, the you, he's going to jab his finger into Sora's chest. Okay, I want to dodge that, duck down, grab his arm, and put him in one of those -- Sleeper hold.

Like one of those things where it's like I grab his arm, it's like, you best not move or you will break your arm. I want to do one of those. Are you Jet Li? I don't really know who that is. Jackie Chan? I know Jackie Chan, but is Jet Li one of the characters in Sora? Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Valerie. Wait, then who's Jet -- you just said Jackie Chan. He's a person. Anywho, what -- okay, what are you -- is this a power you're activating? Well, I mean, I could, but I kind of want to save it for -- This would be a really high check is what I'm saying. Can I do an acrobatics thing?

Are you leaping somewhere? Okay, maybe. Let's see. If he wants to be Shoei, maybe I'll be Shoei, too. Okay. Maybe I'll cartwheel out of the way. Paint a picture for me, Val. Paint a picture. Okay, let's see. As he -- this is going to happen in slow-mo in Sora's head, right? So he's got his arm that's slowly coming towards her. What she's going to do, crouch down and do a somersault between his legs so she ends up behind you. I mean, behind him. Then she'll just tap him on the shoulder. Okay. Will that be an acrobatics check? Because it is a somersault. Okay. That would be a very high one.

Because -- I mean, I got plus 14. Right. I understand that, but -- Sora is the chosen one. Well, just start calling her Neo. That's what it is. It's like, "She's starting to believe." Because the way she's -- he's coming at me very slowly. It's like, "She has bullet time?" Yep, it's the fucking Matrix now. She just sees it in her head and she's able to react. That is never -- And this is why bullet time is. That is bullet time. Not just that, but that's never been a -- that's not an established character trait for Sora at all. Well, listen. Every time I've tried to use acrobatics, Sora's like, "Nah, it's athletics." Well, okay.

She just wants to use her acrobatics once. She really wants to use her -- okay. I'll say this. If you are -- if it's a thing where you are going to, like, roll, you want to essentially get behind him, right? Yeah. Okay. And I mean, I'd just, like, duck and go behind him, but I just want to make sure that I'm rolling acrobatics and not athletics. Okay. I would allow it if there's no follow-up attack. No, there's not. Okay. You are literally just getting behind him. I would say this dude has a real douchey wide stance about him. Mm-hmm. So I'd say that's possible.

So unless you completely goof on this roll, so let -- give me an acrobatics check. I feel like you're going to aggravate him. I just want to calmly, like, once I'm done rolling, stand back up, turn around, and tap him a little bit on his shoulder. I just want to calmly cartwheel between his legs. Yes. So please, dear little Jesus. Goes by the number, not the roll. Isn't that what someone says a lot? Yes, I know the rules. [Laughter] Okay. So Brock is going to try and prod -- just kind of try and prod Sora in the chest here, and she is going to roll between his legs, just, like, reflexively, just roll between, and he's taking a really, really wide stance, and Sora will end up behind Brock.

He is instinctively going to turn around and look at Sora. And Krista is too. Just looking? Just -- I think there's going to be a split second of looking, and he's going, like -- I think he's deciding whether he's going to hit her, just because, like, he's really angry at the fact that, like, you didn't let me prod you in the chest to make my point. Okay, I want to grab him by the scruff of his neck and pull him backwards. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No need to get physical. Okay. I mean, you can. You totally can. Just kind of, like, just, like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Do me a favor. Give me an Athletics check. And if you get 24 or higher, then you're going to grab him. Yeah, so that's not going to do it, but you are going to grab at him. So as a result -- That's fine. I just want to get his attention. Okay. Just ends up slapping the back of his neck. Hey! Yeah. I think that is going to get -- I think that is going to get his attention, but as a result, I think Krista's going to take a swipe at Erina with his knife. Jesus Christ. Oh, this bitch. Because I think that's going to be -- I think that's going to be pretty much enough for her.

So -- and she's going to target Erina and then use -- That's not how I spell her name in my notes. Oh. It took me a second to say, wait, what? Wounding Dagger. 26. That'll hit. Yeah. Can I do something? What are we going to do? I feel like all hell is breaking loose right now. Denunciation. Hit until the end of your next turn. The target is dazed and takes a penalty to attack rolls and all defenses equal to your Charisma modifier. Is it a trigger attack? No. It's just a regular encounter. Okay. Well, then here's what we're going to do. Everyone roll initiative. Because now I feel like it's -- like it's just -- the situation is out of hand.

Yeah. Everyone do me a favor. Roll initiative. Almost a crit. Well, that's good. Doesn't matter. I don't have my armor. I'm going to sword first. Sora, go right ahead. Here. I'm going to -- okay. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to move here. Oh, that's not going to provoke, right? No. You're shifting. Right. Okay. Then that's going to be it for my turn then. All right. Erina, your turn. Okay. Erina is going to yell out, "Stop. We did not come out here to fight with you. Just want to talk." Because I do not want to fight. Do me a favor. Roll diplomacy. Just to let you know, this will be -- Yeah, I know.

Okay. So close. It's really good. Brock is going to -- okay. So that'll be your turn, right? Yeah. On Brock's turn, he's going to stop. He's getting ready to swing that fucking big stupid chain of his. And then just -- your friend's an asshole. Well, you're kind of an asshole too, so. This is your diplomacy? Hey, listen. Okay. Bro to bro. Got to be honest here. He's going to nod. So what do you want to talk about? You dug up some graves. My friends, they buried those people there. They died honorably and you dug up their graves and stole their things. You just want their things back.

And then I think maybe you should leave. Do me a favor. Roll a diplomacy check. It's still pretty good. Well, what if we need them? They don't think their friends are using them anymore. Well, that's not really the point. They died honorably in battle and they should be respected in death too. He's going to give a little eye roll at that. You need bracelets. You need those? He's going to look over to Krista. And she's sort of disengaged from this after getting the stab. Someone says, "Yeah, I guess. I don't fucking care." And I'm just very, almost apathetic about the entire thing all of a sudden.

Like, I thought we were going to fight and this is just bullshit. And after a couple seconds, I guess. Listen, we've had a very weird and crazy couple of days and I don't want to fight tonight. I just want to eat my food, go to bed, get some rest. What if I gave you some gold for the items that you stole off of my friend's dead friend's bodies? And then you left. 100% profit for you. Do me a favor, roll a diplomacy with a plus three. Because you're offering money. I am offering money. Ooh. Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I think that just about makes up for the fact that your friend here and he's going to kind of motion back towards her, but not really pay attention to her.

Punch me in the balls. Yeah. You know what? Yeah. Well, your girlfriend stabbed me, so I guess we're even on that front. And whatever, this gold will never make up for what you did to their friends, but I just want you out of my face, so. Do me a favor. Everyone roll a perception check. Oh, and also when that guy said that, I totally rolled my eyes. God damn it. Can't see shit. You guys can feel free to speak up. This is how Irina feels. She doesn't want to fight. I just realized I was on mute for most of that. That's okay. I wasn't saying anything important. I perceive nothing this time.

Hey! Wow. Karen, you are the only one who sees anything right now. Because I am up in his face. You can see his thin, sash quiver. I think I'm just staring right at his butt, right? Am I at level with his butt? Are you admiring his butt? If he farts in your face, are you going to fight him? Stab him right in the fart hole. Oh no. Too far? Sorry. So Sora is tush level, and... Okay. Irina, as they're talking and they're coming to an arrangement here, Irina is going to just, off to the side behind her, just kind of... Just kind of hear this mild whoosh sound. Because everyone's like watching with like, rapt attention.

And then from behind Brock, Irina's going to watch this blade... Yes. ...rap around his throat. [gasps] And there's going to be this drow hand holding it, and this curved blade is going to very slowly wrap around his neck, and the blade is going to touch his throat and Brock's going to tense up. And there's going to be a voice from behind him. "Drop all of your weapons." "Give them the armor back." "And leave." And Brock is going to tense up and get ready to say something, and the knife is going to dig in just a little bit. [exhales] And this little dribblet of blood is going to... is going to start to roll down his neck, almost like a bead of sweat.

And Brock ain't going to say shit. And he's going to motion over to... He's going to motion over to Krista. "Give them the stuff." Like, you can hear just a bit of like, a little bitch in his voice. Just a little bit. "Oh, honey." Krista is going to take the objects off, lay them down, and this drow is going to point Brock in a direction that sort of aims him down the street, and then just sort of kick him forward with his boot. And Brock is going to stumble forward and kind of catch himself and turn around, and it looks like he's thinking about trying to fight this individual.

And then after a couple seconds of thought, he's going to just double-think it, and then just start walking down the street aggressively. Just kind of grab Krista by the hand and just start kind of power-walking down the street. And this drow is going to look at Erina. "Did they drop everything that belonged to your old party members?" And then she'll kind of look over at Sora. "Did they?" Sora's going to look at Elorath. Elorath, yeah. "Did they?" You said they dropped the bracelets and stuff? They dropped everything, yeah. Stuff that didn't belong, just for good measure.

Just like, "I don't know what was theirs and what's not." Just drop all your shit and just, yeah. Yeah. Looks like she's going to start to pick it up. He's going to walk forward and hold out his hand. To Erina? Sorry. Yeah, to anyone who would grab it, but yeah, Erina specifically, I guess, because you were the one. Yeah. She'll reach right out and grab onto it. "Thank you. My name is Erina." "Seraph." Oh, you're a fucking fucker. Yes. I'm so happy. [sighs] Sorry. Well, looks like we might owe you a drink. And this smile's going to curl up around his face. "Actually, we'd like to buy you a drink." "Maybe you'd like to come speak with us." And she's going to kind of look around at Sora and other Athens while you, like, what do you want to do?

Is Seraph, like, a famous name? Can we roll to see if we've heard of him before? Are any of you from Brightport? Or spent any amount of time there? Like, a decent amount of time? No. I possibly don't remember. [laughs] I'm checking my map. I have to actually check because it was Fair Bay is where I was studying. Ebony Harbor was the other. So, no, not Brightport. That's where I'm from! Sorry, I got really excited about that. Yeah, so family in Ebony Harbor, studying here. Be decent here. Yeah, I'm going to say negative. Yeah, I think even if Irina had, she probably wouldn't have remembered.

Yeah, so, okay. I'm going to say no. There is one thing, and we'll get to it, but we'll have one of you run a check if it comes up. But yeah, we'll see. We're just down the street in this tiny building. If you have the time to spare, that is. That sounds so creepy, like we're being alerted to a van! Do you want some candy, little girl? Oh, everything this guy says is just dripping with "I don't trust the thing you said!" Um, why don't I talk to the rest of my party, and we will come over if we have a decision? Of course. He's going to give this deep bow, but keep eye contact the entire time.

So he's just kind of looking out through the top of his brow, just keeping eye contact the entire time. Oh yeah, intense eye contact. I am feeling so creeped out by him. Have you never heard him before? No, I have, but it's been so long that I had completely forgotten why I find him so creepy. But seriously, just the voice alone is the "I am luring you into a panel" van. He's one of those dudes that can tell you "2+2 is 4" and it's like "Nope, that doesn't add up, I don't trust you." Pretty much. Like, why are you so creepy? I strangely believe everything he tells me, like "Yes, okay." The world is flat?

Of course it is! Kanye needs money? Of course! (Laughter) Poppicle! Nice. Kanye needs money as the new Nigerian prince for me. (Laughter) That's just me. I don't know if Elarath likes Seraph, but Lisa. We really love Seraph's voice. (Laughter) So he is actually creeped out, like in character, that just sounded "panel van" again. Yeah, totally. The drow in general, I might have you run a check in just a minute. Actually, you know what? You can give a history check if you want to find out more about the drow, or what you would know about the drow, like in general?

Because specifically, like, okay. Zoya specifically is a dwarf. The dwarves... And I hate all. Well, no, I don't personally hate all, but dwarves generally hate all. Dwarves are very... they're your friendly, racist uncle. Like, we'll... Like Valerie. Yeah, like Valerie. Yeah, just like little balls of hate that just... How rude! Can I roll like an insight on him though? Like as to... You'll get your chance. Okay, because that... Because he hasn't said anything yet that would be like, I don't know if he's on the level. Did he say hi? Like, it's not like he didn't do anything yet.

Like, what? Creepy! Yeah, he's like creepy, but he hasn't like offered us anything or like... He did just help us. He helped us, yeah. He offers us candy. I am going straight for insight. There's a razor blade in this apple? I know it. And technically he did offer us a drink. Right, but okay, you can't just gauge... there's no PKE meter for like general creepiness. It's like, oh, my creep-o-meter is off the scale. It's... I mean, it's got to be like... But there should be. It's like gaydar, but with creeps. My drowdor is off the... Drowdar? Everyone has creep radar.

That's true, actually. That's a thing. So quick question. Okay, you guys are letting the drow... you guys are letting the drow walk off. I'm not taking my eyes off of Seraph as he walks away. Okay, I'm guessing because of like pure attraction. Yes, I am so... I just really want to hit that... that booty doe. Oh, no. Okay, so Zoey rolled a history check. The dwarves and the drow have had an interesting history. Most dwarves know that the drow were driven underground, you know, a long, long time ago. Their home city used to be located directly beneath Stone Sunder Mountain.

Used to be because the dwarves moved into the mountain and then just started digging and excavating, kind of like ants. And eventually they reached the home city of the drow and waged a war. And they were so unrelenting that eventually they just took the city and used it for storage. They don't live there. They don't use it for anything other than storing cool shit and gems and things that they've taken from other people or carved out of the mountain or whatever. And yeah, they use it as pretty much a storage locker. The drow have been forced to essentially relocate a large populace of them and try to find a new home city, that type of thing.

The drow are not happy about that, the ones that live underground. Because they're kind of two sets of drow. They're the drow that live underground. And they have one, I guess, leader, ruler, whatever you want to call her in Ora Clad. And that's who leads them. And then they're all the drow who just got fed up and try to make a life on the surface. Which is not too easy because they have adapted to life below ground. A lot of them, they're kind of different shades of drow. The lighter you are, the longer you've been living underground. The darker you are, the longer you've been either living above ground or something like that.

There are people who, there are drow who actually tan, so to speak, so that they can blend in at night better. And the stereotype with drow is that they're all cutthroats and murderers and can't be trusted. There are some that use their unique gifts and kind of steer into the skid and they're contract killers. So that would be pretty much everything that Zoya knows about the drow. Pretty vague general stuff, not with Seraph specifically or even any specific sets of drow. Just blanket knowledge. Jason, there's still people out here, right? Oh yeah. Can I grab somebody and ask them what's been going on with the drow in Fair Bay?

Sure. So yeah, you're just grabbing a person. So there's a guy who, yeah, there's just a random dude you can just grab. Unless you're trying to spot someone specific or something? I mean, that depends on what he tells me. Okay. What specifically are you asking? Just, um, because when we came in they said that the drow had been here for a little while, right? Oh yeah. I just kind of want to ask him what they've been doing. Like if he knows what the drow have been doing while they've been here. Do me a favor and roll a streetwise check. Hmm. Okay. They rolled into town like three weeks ago.

They haven't left. They took over that building and they paid for it, but they just stand there all day. They've talked to a few people, but we don't know what about. Is there anyone specific that you know that they spoke to? There was a couple of minotaur. That was a stand out. Don't get many minotaur down this way. And the minotaur are gone now? Yeah. A little while back. A couple weeks. Okay, thanks. No problem. What would the rest of the party be thinking about, about that situation? Or Brock or Krista or any of that stuff that just happened? I feel like Elrath would just be like picking up the stuff and sorting through it to find what were our, what belonged to our compatriots.

And that would help. Yeah. Has Arina told us about the drow invitation yet? Or did we hear it? Oh, you guys would have heard it. Yeah, he was, it was an open invitation to the party. Yeah, I think she'd just be sorting through the stuff because that was her priority. I'm almost kind of expecting Jason to like do a rundown of the things that you find. Because I need to know. Do we recognize anything? Ahhhhh. I'm sorry, I didn't ask the proper question. *laughs* Um. That's a question I can't ask Lisa, okay? Elrath. Elrath, do me a favor and roll a perception check, please.

Do I get a bonus? Oh yeah, you'd get a nice plus three because you know, you would have seen, you know, you would have seen some of these items before. Fuck. Should I do that too? Because I did say I was helping. Yeah, she is helping. Go ahead. Thanks. Perception. Wow. I noticed one thing in the bar. Did you use a plus three? No. Okay. So 25. Okay, so 25. Picking these items up, um, Elrath's gonna notice there's a bracer that looked like it, uh, like that, that belonged to Aaron. There was, um, uh, leg guards, um, there's a knife that looked like it used to belong to Evelyn.

There's, it's assorted, it's a lot of assorted things like, uh, you know, just, just like, "Ooh, I could use this, I could use these," and that kind of thing. It wasn't anything that was necessarily a family heirloom or something that was legendary or anything like that, but it was, it was their stuff. What about Sore? Um, Sore is the one who would have recognized the, uh, the myth from Evelyn and stuff because that was a little more specific. Okay. Elrath would probably look at Sore and just be like, "Do you, what would you like to hold on to?" So I would say there is leg, arm bracers, leg things, um, the knife.

Were there bracelets and stuff? Um, yeah, just like little bits of, like, little assorted things like, you know, something they would have worn their arms or things like that. Just some of it's decorative, not all of its armor. Okay. Definitely their possessions, though. Some of them actually still have blood and dirt on them. Oh, my. I mean, well, she'd probably give you the bracers, 'cause she's got some that she borrowed from Cole. Well, more, okay, more importantly, if her, like, we can, it doesn't, you know, super matter who's getting what right now, like, how would you guys feel about that?

Like, what would you, would you say anything? 'Cause it was important enough to get into a fight over it. I feel like we'd just be, I, I, Elrath's just bitter about it. It's just like, I did not need to be reminded of this today. And those assholes. So she'll probably just be, like, holding onto them. And not really saying anything, but just, like, looking at them and looking at Sora. I think, I think for now, Sora's going to kind of pack it all up and put it in her bag and say to Elrath, "We can deal with this later. Right now, we have to figure out what we're going to do." She'll just look at you and nod.

Okay. What else did they drop? That wasn't our friends' stuff. There'd be a little gold. I think that, uh... Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Like, in the area of 50 gold. Nothing, nothing crazy or huge, but I think they would have just been like, "Hey, I don't want my throat slit, and these guys seem for real, so let's maybe just dump shit." And hopefully that's all the stuff we've taken from this specific group of people. You kind of get the feeling that maybe those guys have done that before because they were so, like, freewheeling about it that it's just like, "Yeah, fuck 'em." That maybe they've done it enough times that they don't necessarily remember who, whose stuff they took, when they took it, you know what I mean?

Like, it didn't mean anything to them. Bitches. So, Erina mentioned that she was going to talk it up with her group about the, uh, about Seraph's invitation. How would the, how would the rest of the party be feeling about, about old Seraph? And maybe going to have a drink with him and his crew? Would I know anything about the drow's time in Fair Bay? Like, any information about what they were doing specifically here? I don't think anybody in Fair Bay beyond the drow really know what they're doing here. Okay. They're kind of a secretive people. Which doesn't really lend, uh, it doesn't help them with the stereotype of like, "Oh, they can't be trusted.

They're cutthroats." They're just very, they're very internal. So what do you guys want to do? Do you want to go to bed? Do you want to go have a drink? I mean, they did kind of bail us out. Well, I like to think I had that under control, but they did help. Wait. It's up to you. I'm here to help you. So, whatever you think is best. Couldn't hurt to hear what he has to say. But what could he possibly have to say to us? Well, this town seems pretty scared of them, so whatever he has to say, maybe we could at least try to help the town out a little bit. Well, the town is maybe just because they're drow.

I mean, you know how drow are. They've been here for a while, though. That's what the kid said. Or guy said. I don't know how old that guy was. He had a young face. He had a young face. I feel like anybody who's young-ish is a kid in Arena's eyes. You haven't seen anything. Unless they have visible battle scars on their face. They're a young'un. They've been here a while, and people are kind of uncomfortable with them. Maybe we can help them move along. I guess it doesn't hurt. I think we could all use a drink. Well, let's go quaff. So you're gonna go to the building?

Yeah, I guess. So you're gonna walk up to this building, and again, there are like three or four drow standing outside. All of them appear to be well-armored. Like, they're ready for someone to start some kind of shit. They're clearly meant to keep people out of this building. And when they see you coming, they're gonna step out of the way of the door, and one of them is just going to hold out his hand and motion for you to go inside. Not a word is uttered. And all of them... The drow sort of have this cold expression. Most of them. Not all of them. But specifically the ones that live underground kind of have this cold, very hard to read expression.

And he's gonna motion for you to go inside. They're waiting for you. Rino nodded her head at him on the way by. Walking into this place, there's gonna be a table in the center of this room. And it's clearly set up for... as a meeting place. And there are gonna be a few chairs on the opposite side of this table. And on the side where you guys are, there are gonna be... There's gonna be three chairs, and they're pulling over a fourth one. Just as you were, just as you're walking in. And Seraph's gonna motion for you to have a seat. I'm so glad that you decided to hear us out. [GIGGLES] Rino's gonna stand, like lean against a wall with her arms crossed.

Alarith will probably plop down. Do me a favor everyone, roll a perception check. [LAUGHS] Fucking finally! Wow! It's because I didn't see anything! Almost a crit. Everyone but Rino is going to really drink this room in. Now, around the walls of this room, and there's a decent size, there's a decent space in between the table itself and the walls. It's sort of set in the middle of this room, it's a big open space. And toward the entrance, after you guys walk in, there are gonna be a few more drow. A few more drow scattered around there, and then the three that are sitting at the table, one of them is Seraph.

There's gonna be an older looking female drow, and then quite a young looking female drow, like if you're taking a guess, like 20, 21, somewhere in there. And they're kind of flanking Seraph. The older looking drow woman is gonna be staring daggers at Zoya. She'll just smile. Wave. Hey! Seraph's gonna start to pour you guys drinks as you're kind of sidling up to the table, just being very hospitable. Did you say there were like four empty chairs too? Yes. Or just the one chair that makes up the fourth? Because I feel bad if Elorath just plopped down in the only empty chair and she's like, "What's up, bitches?" Yeah, kicks her feet up on the table.

No, no, no, this is, they set up an equal number of chairs for you guys. There were a few and they were pulling over another. I just wanted to make sure. She would do it, but I'm just saying. Now, Asura sat down too. Seraph's gonna start off. We don't want to take up much of your time. I'm sure it's very valuable. We want to apologize for your run-in at the bar. Don't really think that was your fault, but thank you. I can assure you that that individual wasn't from Fairbay. I haven't seen him before, but if we were to encounter him on the road, we could take care of them both for you as a personal favor.

Sora's gonna pipe up. That won't be necessary. Yeah, Zoya's eyes are going to just like bug out with the hole. Whoa, hired assassination. You understand that I wouldn't charge you. I find the act of grave robbing to be despicable. And he's gonna read the party, just kind of take you, just kind of drink you in and kind of look at your expressions. I would say Zoya looks sort of like, yes, grave robbing is despicable, but I'm not a big fan of assassination, so she looks vaguely horrified. Yeah, Sora's like, well, they can't do it again if they're dead. Just scandalized.

Yeah, just like, oh my. Pearl's clutched. Vael like, oh no. Are you still wearing your bonnet? Yeah. My lucky hat. God, I love you. Marina's kind of just still standing there, arms crossed, keep a blank expression on her face, because offering to assassinate somebody isn't something new for her. The order drow. She's going to kind of make this huff sound at Zoya's, just like, oh no, we wouldn't. Just kind of like, almost like it slipped out of her mouth. Like she's not really speaking other than that one reaction. Almost like she's like, that's adorable. At any rate, that's not what we called you in here for today.

We have a proposition for you. Are you venturing further west by any chance? Um, we might be. What are you looking for? We simply wish to know if a few individuals we've been curious about are in the city of Esterhalt, and if so, where they currently are. And we're prepared to pay you handsomely for that knowledge. All you have to do is check in on them, tell us if they still reside in the city, and then send word back. You don't even need to return to Fairbay. Why are you keeping track of where they are? That's personal. Why are you in Fairbay? You are a curious lot, aren't you?

We'd just like to know what we're getting into before we make any agreements. Do me a favor and roll a diplomacy check. Cause I'm on fire tonight. Oh no! Oh no! I still want to be able to roll an insight check on this guy. Um, well, now is the perfect time. I mean, it depends. Can I do that? Take your shot. Like, what specifically are you rolling insight on? Why he wants information. What he's trying to keep from us. Cause he doesn't sound like he's telling you the whole truth. Oh god no. That would be silly. Um, the rolling insight on the, oh, just check in on these people.

There is definitely something more to that. That is not, that may be the end of it for you. Like, check in on these people and let us know if they're still there. That is not the, okay, these aren't like, oh, it's just family. We're just looking in on them. Like, it's not that. There is something else. Either they owe these people money or a favor or they've wronged them somehow. Something. But there is something more to it than simply, yeah, just check to see if they're okay. And where are they living? There's the impression that harm may come to these people.

It is, it is a possibility. Not, um, not that that's exactly what Zoya's gleaming, but it's like, these people are not above lifting a knife to someone's throat or threatening to kill someone if they see them on the road. So, definitely a possibility. Um, let me see, diplomacy. [laughs] Let's just say that we have a vested interest in the individuals that we're asking you to check up on. We had another party that was going to do it for us, but they proved unreliable. We're trusting that you could get the job done where they failed. We're not gophers. If you want to see where they are, why don't you do it yourself?

Do me a favor, roll a diplomacy check. I thought we agreed that I don't wanna. [laughs] Currently, I'm not allowed in Esterholt. We had a falling out. Insight? [laughs] Um, go ahead. You're entering old Aralov territory, but go ahead. Oh. No. That's okay. No, you can get away with like two, maybe three, any more than that, and it's... I'd rather stop him where it's not so obvious that he's lying to anyone who's not oblivious. I mean, there's a passive insight too, and I mean, there's probably some alarm bells going off, like... A passive insight is 19, Jason.

Just 19. I would say there's some alarm bells going off of like, okay, there's obviously something more to this. It's not... I think you'd have to be the biggest rube on the planet not to know that these people want something more than... Like, they're heavily armed, and they're... yeah. They want something. What are your intentions towards these people if you find them? Do me a favor, roll one more diplomacy check. Ooh. Oh-ho-ho. I have a plus 10 for diplomacy. Why were you speaking to begin with? Well, 'cause technically she's, you know, here to help them, not make their decisions.

This is true. Sarah's gonna lean back in his chair and take a much more relaxed stance. Personally, I'm after a few individuals who have kept me from attaining goals in Esterhold. I'm of the opinion that the city is ripe for new management. Ora, on the other hand, and he's going to motion to Ora sitting next to him. Well, let's just say it's much more personal for her. Do you value the life of the young? Oh. Oh. And so I was going to look at him. Of course. It's incredibly important. But it sounds like you want us to get involved in a very personal grudge. What would be the incentive for us to do that?

We're not involved. We don't know because of your issue with these people. If you must know, the people were after a child murderer. And we're not asking you to get involved. We're just interested in if they still are located in that city. You don't have to interact with them. You just have to see them. And if you do, send word back to us. And you know for sure they're child killers? We've seen documented proof. Now Zoya is going to run in sight. Because I was going to say that's... That seems... Of the things Seraph has said so far, that seems the most on the level.

Like there is very little that would be veiled about that statement. It's like, no, they've seen proof. Like they are at the very least, they believe they've seen proof. Okay. So they think they're telling the truth. They know that these people are child killers. Oh yeah. Okay. Again, we are prepared to pay you for this service. And we'd consider it a personal favor. We do pay back our debts. The world is a very rough place. It would be nice to have friends like us when you need them. You just want to know if they're there. That's it. Who are these people? That sounds like a question for someone who wants to get involved.

I like to know every part of any deal I make before it's sealed. Very well. The bulk of them are former Overwatch soldiers. These are people who would have most likely not blinked if many of you were murdered. Do me one favor, Arena, roll a diplomacy check. We'll see how much he'd tell you. I'm waiting for names. It's not terrible. It's not terrible. One of them would stand out quite a bit. If you agree to do this for us, I can promise you that I would do everything in my power to make sure that we just drive them out of the city. And no harm will come to them.

Would that make you all feel better? Could we insight check that? She doesn't like these things. I'm not going to insight check it because since I believe him about the child killing, I don't care if he kills them. Okay, so that's where you... It's like, "Fuck them guys." Okay, everyone else. Child murderers, no. Why not? Okay. To Sora, it sounds like he's going to really try not to kill them. Mm-hmm. To Elerath and Arena, it's going to sound like, "Yeah, I'm going to try not to kill them, but if they put up a fight in the smallest way, I will not hesitate to slit every one of their throats." Kind of like us with Brock McDouche nozzle.

We're going to try not to fight him, but I mean, fuck it. We're still going to punch him in the penis. You weren't going to slit his throat, though. I don't think. It was more just... Maybe kick him in the ribs. Hmm. So if you're not welcome back in Esterholt, how exactly are you going to drive them out of the city? I said that I wasn't welcome there. I didn't say that I wasn't going back. It would be foolish to re-enter the city, though, if the people I'm looking for aren't even around. I want to assure you that what I want out of all of this would benefit all of you.

For far too long, the leadership of Esterholt has been skewed far too human. I aim to level the playing field a bit. How are you going to do that? After I take the city, I'm going to enact some new laws. It's never been an outright law that drow aren't allowed, but let's just say that people like drow and tieflings have a bad reputation in Esterholt through no fault of ours. They've had some troublesome citizens there. It's really no different than what's going on in the Overwatch currently. Zoya's going to look over at the group. Uh... Maybe we should take a night to think on it.

Zora's going to nod and stand up. We'll be right here. You're more than welcome to sleep on it. Again, anything that would make you feel better about our arrangement. I was going to say, um, Elorath would probably stand up and should probably say thanks for your help. Of course. Again. The world would be better off without people like that. Respectful nod. I like your style, friend. And he'd give the deep bow thing again. You all heading for the door? Yes. Alright. I mean, I'll fall behind you all, but she's got very clenched fists. I feel like that's a good time for us to stop for the night and maybe give you time to think about this.

I'm so angry right now. Why? I kind of wish we could at least have the... Not me, Irina is angry right now. Kiri, you were saying something got cut off. Oh, I'm sorry. I was saying I kind of wish we could have the group chat just so we could share information. Because I would want to at least let them know right away that, you know, they are child killers. But I'm not going to scream that out on the street because, who knows, people might think I'm talking about the drow being child killers. All drow are child killers. All the drow are child killers. Again, I would imagine we're going to open up and you guys are going to share any information you might have or any thoughts you might have or whatever before coming to a decision.

Or I just don't want to forget. You know, there's a note system on the table. What? Yeah, if you go to... Okay, look. Yeah, there's totally... You can type shit? Not just that, you can keep... Oh, a note! Oh, and you can make it public! That's so fun! It's a big thing on the side of the table. You can write down characters and... Oh, this giant thing that says "Notes"? Notes, yeah. Oh, shit! Of course, I can't figure out how to actually write anything, but... Well, okay, if you click "New Note," you can change the owner, you can make it public. You can do all kinds of stuff.

Oh, my God! No one ever uses that feature, and I never understood why. That's handy! I've just been taking notes, like, physically. Okay, if there's personal stuff that you want to keep, you can write down notes for yourself, you can write down notes for other people. Like, if you just want to leave a note, it's like, "This is only something me and Lisa know," then you can change the owner to you and Lisa, I believe. Oh, no. Can I ask you one thing before we go? Sure. Um... I should have said something while we were talking to Sirrus. Uh, leaders of Esther Holt, that's pretty much common knowledge to be the paladins.

Okay, Esther Holt's weird in that they have a mayor, but there's a strong religious following in Esther Holt, so... Right. The mayor technically has power, but people look to the paladins, because Craig's got such a reputation there. It's not just the paladins, it's Craig. And, um, it's kind of a joint thing. The mayor can make some really unpopular decisions, and there could be some pressure levied on them from the populace if Craig's like, "Yeah, that's fucked up," and then, yeah. But technically, the mayor's in charge. Okay. Of which there is none right now.

Pfft! Because she dead. Cool beans. Yeah. Sarah Fuellers. Oh, nice! Oh, also, did you guys know you can move the chat? How? You right-click and do "unlock position," and then it becomes a window, and you can, like, make it bigger or smaller and move it around and shit. You can also have its value, too, and just, like... No, I'm kidding! Have its value? What the fuck does that mean? Um, if you... you can change the scaling of it so that, like, you can... Make it smaller. Yeah. I don't know what half its value... I don't... I've never heard of that. I can tell everybody, "Halt!

Good morrow!" What? Now talk! What is...? That's just basically, like, "Okay, everyone stop chatting." But I'm not weird. Alright, guys, I will talk to everyone later. Alright. Thank you for all sitting down. Okay, I gotta go and look at the team. Good luck watching Hamilton. I'm so... Listen, guys, it's gonna be a secret... secret Hong Kong... great job... car hoard, and it's gonna be so exciting because he's doing it on National Team V... Ah, gosh. I'm excited. I don't know about anybody else. Y'all, I'm ready. Okay, you have fun. You have fun with them. Also, Jason...

Yes? I mean, like, just... just, you know, like, they could, you know, think about, I don't know, like, us, like, running into a smuggler or something, or... Han Solo. Gotcha. Her name might be Valerie. Might be. So subtle. Okay, I will talk to you guys later. I get a death toll humans vibe from him. A death toll humans vibe. No, and then you get to impersonate me, and it'll be a good laugh for everybody. I feel like I pick on you so much, though. Like, I feel like... It'll just be ten minutes of this. Listen! Listen! What is that? It's fucking hilarious. I'm like, I'm ready.

I want to be immortalized. I don't know if you... I don't know if you are. I feel like... Plot twist. Valerie Spanier is married to Roger the Crier. Yeah. His name was Roger? Yeah, I never remember his name. I just know that I really liked him. It was Roger the Crier, right? I don't know if the Crier is his... The town Crier. I don't know if Crier is the moniker he'd want attached to his name, but... Alright, guys. I will talk to you later. Okay. Bye. Howdy, everybody out there. We really, really hope that you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, maybe you could swing by Patreon at patreon.com/dandr and consider donating a few shackles to us and help us keep the lights on.

You can also swing by iTunes and give us a rating if you haven't. It's a great way to help out the show and kind of spread it around, let new people hear. You can also go to our website at dnrpodcast.com and you can find our Facebook and Twitter and forums and wiki in case you missed a few episodes or you're in the process of catching up or you forgot an obscure lore thing and you just want to find out what's been going on in another group. That's a great way to find that out. And from me and everybody on the cast, thank you very much and we will see you next week.