Mirror

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Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Howdy folks, Brianna here, and before I let you get to the second Theriathon episode of DNR Podcasts, I just wanted to tell you guys a little bit more about Black Shell Media. We've talked about them a little bit before, so you guys know what they're all about. They are publishers for indie game developers to help little guys get their names out there.

One game that they have that I think you guys would really enjoy is called Hero Like. All one word, Hero Like. Hero Like is an ARPG-inspired combat game with hack and slash elements, but also a lot of actual roleplay in it, in that you make moral decisions and all of that really cool stuff. You can find Hero Like on Steam right now. It's in early access. And when you support guys like Hero Like and Black Shell Media, you're supporting us here at DNR because they support us. And you're also helping support a lot of really cool indie game developers who really deserve it.

They put a lot of time and effort into these games. And if you're an indie game developer and you're looking into publishing your game, check out Black Shell Media because they're really cool folks. Alright, thank you guys so much for listening and enjoy the episode. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves live in front of Theriathon 2016. Going around the table, start with Jasper. Hey, this is Jasper. I play Maric, Ethelred, Human, Cleric. With toddlers streaming in the background, I'm sorry. And Maxworth. Hey, I'm Maxworth and I play Kaloonavul Garith the Wild and Shaman and I almost forgot who I played.

And Eric. Hi everyone, Eric here and I play Ordan Kingshield, Dwarven Knight. And Bree! That's the perfect time for someone on a motorcycle to drive by. Hi, I'm Brianna and I play Thanatos, the Gith's Arise scion. This is why we play live sessions all the time, guys. Dude, no one even goes down my road, but this guy's an- Like, it was your motorcycle guy. He came up here to say hi. Oh, that son of a bitch. So, as we were talking about in the pregame, you guys had a rough time last session. Couple of really long combats, couple of near deaths. You did rally.

Ordan, actually that was the first time we got to see Ordan in combat. That was badass. Yeah, that was- It could be argued that between that and Kaloona that kind of turned the tide of battle. That was really nice, so. Kaloona became a bloodthirsty monster. Yeah, at some point. We'll never be satiated again. Became. And you thought the vampires were bad. Do you guys remember the last time you found some potions? Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. I think you're way better at being people alive in that tent. Oh God. You guys remember when you found some potions? I sure do.

Oh yeah. I was super excited about that. I know, and we left it as a cliffhanger. We risked our lives for it. Thankfully, the cliffhanger was, "We'll find out what potions you got." Instead of, "We'll find out what to do about getting a new player because somebody died." That's true, I mean it could have been worse. Dude, it could have been way, way worse. You guys actually found three potions of cure moderate wounds, which is- Nice. Kind of a coveted item. I don't know how you guys would like to distribute them, but it is a very handy thing to have. You said we had three?

Three. Well, let's see. Who usually needs to keep back? I mean, the healers maybe should have those so that they can, I don't know, it's a good question. I feel like a friend should have them. Well, on account of that point, healers can heal themselves. True. So like, Warden, if you're in the middle of something, you're able to sort of pop it open and drink it up, right? I would like one. Thanatos doesn't really need anything because Thanatos has got all the power and- Yeah, Thanatos is like- She makes all the right decisions. And makes right decisions, right.

Yeah, I think definitely, Warden, definitely Thanatos, and I don't know. Maybe Merrick? Well, Kaluna keeps a distance because Pig is up front. Oh, because Pig, yeah. The most that Kaluna will take is 15 damage usually, and that's when Pig dies. Yep. That's a great point. It's not even that much, I don't think. Okay. Is Kaluna gonna have anything to say about the fact that, you know, they don't get a cool potion? Oh, Kaluna's busy right now. Oh, right. Ooh, we'll get to that. Okay. So, I'm hearing Thanatos gets one, Warden, and who else? Merrick. Merrick, okay. So, I'll go ahead and- What does that do again?

What it does is you get to pop a healing surge and instead of getting the actual surge, what you get is 2d8. Hold on one second, just to make absolutely sure I am remembering that correctly. 2d8 plus 10 hit points. I'll take it. Yeah, it's basically a panic button. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you either don't have a healer near you or you, for some reason, just can't be got to or something like that. So, what would the party be doing? Kind of licking their wounds, getting back to- let's say- okay, let's do this, actually. Let's do this properly. The last of your opposition is down, it's done with, and I picture this as just a few seconds after the last body falls and you guys are catching your breath.

Who would like to do what? Wow. That's good. I just couldn't have had something in mind. Oh, yeah, I was just waiting in case anyone else had something. So, after Kaluna sort of takes a deep breath, so they're not wheezing horribly, they're going to go over to the big gnoll chieftain. That's what he was, right? A chieftain? Something like that. Yeah. Um, Jason, what's a piece of a gnoll that's really easily identifiable even when it's not attached? Oh, no. I'll just mute. Stop it. Reno. You're better than this. Aside from that. Ears? Yeah, I mean, you could- ears, that is something- We know, we know what you meant.

Ears or something, it's either ears or like the snout, like you could actually try and hack off the snout, that could be something. But ears or you could, like, if you're talking like making a necklace out of something? That was the idea, yeah. Okay, ears would be the way to go. Yeah, so Kaluna will sort of pull out a dagger and go to town. Oh, god. So the chieftain has these, normally gnolliers kind of resemble that of like a dog, kind of like short little triangular type ears. Some of them have like larger, like flappy, not quite flappy, but they hang over just a little bit.

So this chieftain would be one of the larger ones and like his ears kind of like hang over a bit. So if you ever see like the rawhide chew toy type things, like the pig ear type things that you can feed a dog, almost like that, just not as floppy. So Kaluna would hack those off, they'd come off pretty easy. I mean, it's not like he's gonna put up much opposition. Fights from the grave, like no, no. Just shake its head, yeah, no. I can't remember, did Kaluna kill another one? I can't- I think you killed a couple. I think you were the one to get the last hit on a couple of them.

I think it was one of the far fangs, but I'm not sure. Well, whichever one, Kaluna will take their ears to. Okay, so Kaluna is now in possession of four gnolliers. Let me write that down. Four gnolliers. And that'll be- Who needs a potion of minor healing when you can have gnolliers? Listen, Kaluna's mad, they're fucking pissed. They're just like- this whole time they're just like, "Arrrrgh!" Like they are not being delicate about this, they are hacking at it. So, so I picture it as like Kaluna walking over, kind of like kneeling down, grabbing this gnoll by the tuft of fur on his head, and then just like having- just like, just slicing into the ears.

Exactly. Except it's less walking and more stomping. Okay, that is savage. Alright. They mad. What about everybody else? What's everybody else doing here? Hmm, I think after that, Merrick would probably just drop down onto his butt and just think about what just happened. Like, holy shit. I mean, I think for a couple of minutes, we would just be poking around to make sure there wasn't anything else that was missed or there's nothing else to sort of, you know, rip off of a gnoll body or something like that. But otherwise, just like exhaustion, like adrenaline dumps out and he just plops onto the ground.

Right. And to paint a picture, like this was a campsite and it's not- obviously there are no other living people and there were some possessions and stuff, but having kind of figured out that this was a fight that sadly could have been avoided, but you didn't know what was in the tent and stuff. So the reason for charging in still holds sound, it just sucks that there was nothing. There's no payoff for that. And I would imagine just the ground is just fucking soaked in blood, like from around, especially with the hacking off of ears and like the mutilation afterwards.

These gnolls did not die peacefully. Damn right. Well then, fine. Merrick finds like a newspaper or something and puts that underneath his butt. Okay, yeah. Other than that, that's basically- he's exasperated and adrenaline dump and just kind of is staring off into space like, what the hell just happened? But he's not interacting with anybody at this point. He's just getting his bearings. Like, kind of just thinking through the whole equation of how the hell did that happen? Right. What about Thanos? What would Thanos be doing? I feel like she would be doing basically the same thing Merrick's doing, but with a huff of anger about her.

But she would kind of, because Merrick took such a beating, could I roll a perception check to see if she realizes how hurt he is? Yeah, go right ahead actually. Let's see, perception. Hey, my perception's okay. Kind of. 19? I- okay. I would say this is something where Thanos can look around and see that the damage you guys took last time, I would say most of the parties- Kaluna got out the best out of the group, I would say. Everyone else is pretty bruised and kind of stained with blood and cut, probably. And the fact that Merrick is sitting down is probably a pretty clear indication that he is both exhausted and a bit hurt.

So yeah, I'd say that she'd be able to see. I'm trying to think the way she would go about trying to offer help to the healer, but she doesn't have any actual training. So she'd probably come over and just kind of like- does she have any bandages or anything? Yeah, that comes standard in an adventurer's kit. You can run a heal check, you just might not be very good at it, but you'd still be going through the act of trying to apply a bandage. Exactly. It would still come through as like, "I'm trying to help." So that's probably what she would do is quietly just pull out the bandages and kind of gesture to whatever wound might be the most gaping and fucked up looking.

Kind of gesture to it like, "I can take care of that if you give me permission." Merrick grabs Thanos by the thr- I'm just kidding. [laughter] Merrick will- I'm just imagining he's sort of staring off into space and he kind of realizes that Thanos is offering some sort of help and his face will soften, right? He's just like, "Oh, hey, yeah. Thanks." And he'll- what I'm also imagining is that Merrick's like, "That's really not what I need right now. I can kind of heal some stuff and I need some other way to do this." But he's going to sort of go along with it and be like, "This is perfect.

This is exactly what I need. I really appreciate it." You know, trying to be gracious. What's that? You're going to humor her. Good. Well, he's trying to be gracious. Like he's like, "Oh my God, that really sucked. Everybody's kind of probably a little bit in shock." And then, you know, he's not trying to be a deceitful dick. He's trying to- he's like, "Oh, you know what? I know. I really appreciate that. Thank you." And he'll- most of this is with his face. So he'll grab the bandages and he'll kind of not scoot over but kind of make a gesture like, like have a seat right next to him if possible while he's starting to deal with the wounds.

She'd sit down next to him like really heavy though, like in a- I was trying to sit down slowly and then my body just decided that no, I'm coming down all at once and just like, ugh. Once- once Thanatos is settled in, he's going to wait a little bit of a beat while he's dealing with the bandages and then he's just going to say, "That was my fault. All of that was me. I asked you to go check things out because I thought that was the right decision to make and that wasn't the right decision to make. And it's not because of you or maybe it is because of you but it's not your responsibility.

That was a call that I tried to make to try to be a leader, to try to adventure in the middle of trying to save the world and truth is that I shouldn't have asked you to do that and we should have just moved along and stuck to what we need to do right now. And so that was my fault and I don't know if you even care what happened but- So does Ordon hear this? And I'm sorry because I actually- Ordon will actually cut off Merrick if he hears this. That's a good question. I don't know- I wasn't really thinking about where we were. It was more like Merrick just sort of sat down where- he didn't like go off to the side to go sit by himself or anything like that so I don't think it would be completely out of- Okay.

-the field for Ordon to be pretty close. -Are you whispering or are you trying to like- No, no. Okay, well then yeah, I'd say Ordon would hear it. So Ordon's gonna come over and he's actually going to- he'll actually sit down on the other side of Merrick and just say stop. Enough. Merrick will- yeah, Merrick will just like whoa, okay, sure. So Ordon will- he'll actually take off his helm and take off his gauntlets and actually take off the leather cap he's wearing underneath his helm and kind of run his hand over his bald head. You did exactly what you should have done.

Thanos should be our scout. You, in battle, did everything we could have expected. You took damage, you healed us, you dealt damage. I let you down, you fell. I should have been able to- I should have been able to get him off of you, I should have been able to- Merrick, how old are you? Uh, how old is Merrick? He's 40- no, he's 30- 38, 39, something like that. Whatever, he'll say whatever he actually is. I have to look. Okay, it's- Well, it's 38. Ordon's just gonna shake his head and say, "You weren't even born the last time I was in a fight." And I'm not used to this, this free-flowing combat of wild personalities.

And he'll look over at Kaluna, who I assume is still harvesting body parts at this. You- we all need to learn here. We all need to come together. But you can't be blaming yourself for mistakes the impetuous youth make, or the mistakes that I made. Don't put that burden on yourself. Ordon, I appreciate it. When you say impetuous youth, she is going to look very offended, by the way, but she's not gonna actually say anything. She's gonna give you a glare, though. He'll actually laugh at that. Merrick will probably think you were talking about him. Or actually, he would not know, because he would wonder if you meant Thanatos, but he might be wondering if you're making another point about your longevity.

He would have been looking past you when he said it. Alright. So, listen. This isn't about "make Merrick feel better." This isn't about "woe is me." This isn't about anything like that. This is about me trying to tell you, and he's gonna look at both of them and say, this is about me trying to tell you that I'm trying to be a leader. I don't think either one of you understand what's happened. I was never a leader. I've been away from everything in my entire life for well over a decade. I don't have friends. Kaluna, up until not that long ago, was the first friend I'd had in forever.

And that's why we're close. She's there in the inner circle. The problem is that all of a sudden, I've been thrust into a position where the world is gonna end, gods are trapped, demons are trapped and trying to come out, the gods don't even know, and I don't know what to do. And you're brand new here. You don't have any reason to trust me. You don't have any reason to think that I can actually lead you into battle. You don't have any reason to think that I can lead you into something happy. I'm just Sky with a glorious mustache. And I feel like I'm not doing you right by being the best leader I can be.

And I guess I just want you to know that I'm trying. And I think the point is that we all have room to grow here. None of us are operating at peak efficiency. That's definitely true right now. Is there anything sticking out of Merrick, like an arrow? I can't remember what his wounds were. I know there was at least one. Yeah, he will tend to his wounds. You'll be like, yeah, definitely for now. That's for sure. We're certainly not at our peak and sort of get back to tending his wounds as well. Does anybody need help? Does anybody need some healing? If you actually ask that, there's no way Thanos will say yes.

Okay, well, he's gonna ask. He's gonna ask. Anybody? Anything? I mean, Ordon probably has blood coming out of all kinds of little nicks. All of his orifices. Yeah, it's probably seeping out between chinks in the armor. Yeah, Merrick's just gonna do a heal check on everybody, like right there. I'm not even sure how a heal check really would happen in a- Honestly, when you guys are outside of combat, we don't do that. It's pretty much just like everyone can spend healing surges and stuff. So I guess we can do that right now. Oh, wow. Merrick is out of healing surges, guys. *laughter* Look at all those healing surges he used.

I know we're not looking at the chat, and I don't even have it open, but chat, in case you didn't realize how much fucking damage we took, there you fucking go. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. No less than 11 healing surges just went through the entire party. I mean, I think we healed like 225 damage just this second, and that's not counting the damage that was healed during combat. And there was a lot. There was a lot of healing during combat. This could have gone so wrong. Yeah... *whimpering* This is why Kalluna's grumpy, guys. Maybe you all should be hacking body bits off of things.

I will say, here's the thing. We don't ever usually get to the max number of healing surges. I think this is the first time it's happened. I think he gets an achievement. I think it's happened one other time, I think. I think it was on G1, but I can't be sure. But yeah, dude, it's a lot. I've spent 8 of my 9. And the people in our chat can see the map. Right now, you guys are hovering in an area called the Moors, which is kind of smack dab in between Aldmoor and Brightport. The crux. So if you guys are still heading to Brightport, you still got a little ways to go. *sigh* So, alright, so all that's taken care of.

I think the conversation's done. Does anybody else have anything that they wanted to say specifically with Maric or anything? I think Thanos is just sulking, honestly. Like, she's not in the mood to talk. Like, she'd listen, but she's not gonna say anything. And she'd glare once. Awesome. And then huff. Ordon will take the opportunity to look past Maric to Thanos and be curious. He'll ask, "What was that explosion? Did you do that? Did you cause that?" And he'll be referencing your punch on the leader toward the beginning of the fight. She'll just nod. Like, she's actively not speaking.

She'll just nod. Okay. Um, do you have other abilities like that that I should know about? She will nod again. Maric'll say, "Yeah, keep your distance." Well, I thought I was keeping my distance. Ordon was caught in that blast, wasn't he? Like, fairly far away. I had a conversation before where I was like, "Is it meta if he doesn't go near?" And then it was decided that yes, so he approached. It actually was the most damage I took in the entire fight. Because here's the thing, it's an automatic hit. You had like crazy fucking AC, but it hits everyone around the creature regardless.

Like, they don't get to roll a saving throw. Your armor class is like 80. It did reach 40 at one point, but I think that was also a little bit of a mistake. I keep imagining, do you remember the Batmobile back in the Tim Burton days? Where the armor came and covered the wheels? Exactly, it's like you push a button and it goes brrrrrrrrr. That's what I imagine that kind of happened. You were like getting in the middle and then brrrrrrrrrrr. Maric, unless there's anything else to say, Maric's gonna sort of, yeah, he's just gonna get up and head towards Kaluna.

What's Kaluna up to right this second? Well, after Kaluna gets all the arrows out of them, because I think that's all that hit them, they're going to be sort of just very lightly disrespecting. And by lightly, I mean kicking the shit out of the body of the gnoll that kept swinging at Maric. This motherfucker. So while they're having this conversation, Kaluna's in the background just kicking the ribs out of these dead bodies. Yeah, exactly. Just the one. And we all see it and we all just are letting it happen. Like it's just background noise. So while there's a heated conversation just punctuated with "gnh, gnh, gnh." It's very loudly, just like "grrrr." So Maric's gonna come up to wherever Kaluna is, and he's gonna take his Morningstar and he's gonna like get into it with Kaluna.

Like thump on, not bad, not much, but just to sort of, you know, show solidarity. Like maybe like thump it in the middle of the gnoll's chest or something like that. Kind of like it just, you know, like push it with his foot, right? While Kaluna's like going "aaarrrgh!" Kaluna will sort of bare their teeth a little bit extra, because I imagine they're doing that already. But you know, just a little bit extra and sort of making noise. Just like an extra "rrrrr." Just sort of, again, solidarity. Like "yeah!" Yeah, yeah. Take that shit. Yeah. And then Maric's gonna say "y'all okay?" Kaluna will sort of tilt their face up to look at him a bit, and then look back down at the gnoll and keep hitting it.

Yeah. Yeah. Maric's just, Maric'll put his hand on Kaluna's back and just sort of pat it like "yeah, alright, you're cool. Like I get it. I'm here." Just something reassuring. Just something like that. And maybe one last nudge with his foot to the gnoll's head or something like that. You know, again, solidarity. And then he's gonna say, kind of loudly so everybody can hear, "okay, we've got to pack up. We've got to get out of here. We've got to stick to our plan, right?" Kaluna will sort of give one last kick extra hard, and then they'll start heading for freckles.

We have a choice, everybody. We can do what we said we were gonna do, and that's head to Brightport, or we can head back to Aldmoor. We're about halfway between, and we can either go back and get some rest and try this again so we don't get into another situation, or we can just be intensely careful, make our way to Brightport. Anybody have any thoughts? Pushing forward seems like the good idea to me. Agreed. I think so too. Thanos will just shrug. Great. Yep, go team. So annoying, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. If there's no objections at all, I think we should make our way carefully to Brightport.

Jason, do you know what time of day this might have been? I can't remember where we were. Oh, why I do. With all the fussing and such with the gnolls here, you're in the afternoon, so if you guys pushed really hard, it would probably be, it would almost certainly be dark by the time you got to Brightport, but it shouldn't have been dark for too long. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Like, late dinner time. Yeah, like an 8, 9 p.m. type situation. Like just on the edge of, are you guys finishing up dinner, are you still open kind of a thing? Right, that type of thing. Okay.

Listen, I think we should push forward to Brightport. We have friends there, and resources, and we need a lot of things coming up. So let's push hard to get there tonight, but let's be careful. Everybody, please, please, if you see anything, if you hear anything, let's stick together, okay? And let's make sure that we don't go through something like that again. And I'll do better for all of you. Kalenn and we'll sort of look over at him like, what the fuck do you mean do better? Because they obviously were not paying attention to the conversation. Right.

That's it. And then if nobody's going to say anything, he's just going to, you know, get everything packed up and, are we, I can never remember if we're on horses or on foot. My God. We have horses. We have horse, you guys have horse you're sharing, if you remember. That is a detail for every group that evades my consciousness every single time, and I don't know why. See, I can only keep track because I named horse. What is it? Oh, that's true. That won't be a problem on group one much longer. I'm able to keep track of it because of the one fight where Thanos like almost scared the horses away.

Oh, right. That's how I remember that we have horses because they haven't been scared away yet. Well, I remember that Thanos didn't have one and Ordon just joined the group. So you guys are sharing rides. That's right. That's right. Okay, well, I say let's push on to Brightport. Alrighty. Well, as luck would have it, at least the weather is with you. Do me a favor. Not yet. We're almost there. So at the very least weather's on your side. It's a nice sunny day, like a nice like a like a like a chilly breeze blowing through the air, especially while you're on horseback.

And I'm I'm going to go ahead and imagine that you guys are sort of double timing it like a nice speedy gallop because you don't want to be on the roads at night. Most people don't anyway. And you guys have had a really rough day so far. Do me a favor, someone in the party who would like to roll a flat D20 for me. Now, to be clear, you guys are heading up into an area. I'm going to say you are halfway to Brightport from where you are right now. So this is large expansive fields, things like that, like really, really tall grass on either side. Yeah, I'm who's feeling lucky, I guess is what I'm asking.

Can I ask a question? As you get closer to towns, does it get mildly safer because you're getting closer to it? Yeah, yeah. The closer you are to civilization. I was going to make an argument, but like, wait, wait, hear me out. No, trust me, the closer you are to civilization, the better it is for you. Now, again, if you roll a one, probably something really bad is going to happen. But again, the table changes constantly depending on where you are and what the timeline is. By the way, for everyone out there, you are on the eighth of Thorim still, just for those who are curious.

Well, having just said that I want to do everybody right and I want to step up as a leader, so I'm going to roll that D20 unless anybody else would prefer to do that. Great. I'm going to do it. And it's going to be a very high number. I'm holding my dildo for you. Oh, my God. So am I. OK, here we go. Hey, hey, that's not bad. Pretty good. That's not a bad roll. So eight dragons. No, no, no. 12 dragon puppies. Dragon puppies. OK, wait. So in the chat, in the chat, Orden has said, how bad would it have been and how bad would it have been? And then he fake rolls and it was a crip.

He said beforehand, he was like, I would roll, but it'll be an encounter. And he was. Oh, I didn't. You were not incorrect, Eric. Well, good Lord. OK. You did not let your. Are you OK? Likewise, in the double digits yet, because I remember that was a thing for a while that you had not gotten a double digit number in. Are you rolling d4 for everything? I feel like it's a really good thing. Orden has all that AC. Yeah. So the the ride to town is actually going to be pretty damn pretty inconsequential. Like nothing, nothing, nothing of circumstance really happens to the party.

You guys are going to get their hours on the road and it is going to be evening. You you've made pretty good time. So the sunset about an hour ago, something like that. And you're going to ride through the gates of Brightport. And where would you like to go? Like what's the what's the order of business here? Are you stopping at an inn? Are you hitting up a shop? What do you what are you doing? That's a good question, too. I think what I think right now, Merrick is wanting everybody to get to safety, to get to some comfort and have a good night, like a good night of rest.

Does anybody else have an agenda that they want to? Santos might actually split off once they get to town because she wants to buy armor. Right. She would tell Merrick this, but kind of like matter of factly, like, yeah, she kind of mumble it. But like, it's not like like, you know, how kids ask permission for things. She's not asking permission. She's telling. Right. So is this more like a snotty teenager walking past her dad going out and just not saying where? I'm going to go to Hot Topic. Don't fucking follow me, Mom. You're going to embarrass me in front of the employees with mohawks, geez.

So so this is like nine o'clock ish, right? It's about eight, eight thirty, somewhere there. Yeah, I feel like if the conversation is going to happen, if if if if if this conversation is happening on horseback. Right. And we're sort of wandering into town or we've just gotten off the horses or we're walking them through the town or something. Merrick would say would say like, I mean, that's totally fine. You can do whatever you want to do. I need some supplies, too. We all need supplies. And honestly, I feel like we should all get some sleep, including you.

You you did an amazing job, you know, just keeping alive and keeping us all safe. So I'd love for you to get some rest. And then tomorrow, let's all go. Let's all go get some armor. Let's all go get some supplies. I I just don't want anything bad to happen one more time without us all being together for the moment. It's your choice. It's your choice. It's your choice. But that's what I'd like to ask. All right. If you're going to be such a downer about it. No, Santos, after you say that and you sound like genuinely heartfelt, just kind of shrug again because she's been a cunt and nod like, sure, whatever.

She'll get over it eventually. Yeah. Kalluna, do you think we should knock on Tessie's door? Kalluna's. I feel like Kalluna was already heading in that direction. Yeah. Well, that's what Merrick was doing, too. But just sort of like they're not stopping because at this point they've they've used up all their energy being angry. Right. I just realized how much this wouldn't work in real life. Like you can't go to like, hey, I'm friends with your son's fiance. Can I come crash at your house with my four friends? Like that never happens in real life. We've had interactions, though.

And, you know, you have. And it's a different world. Like, yeah, literally asking for safety is pretty common in this world, I would assume. So, yeah. And it's not I don't think regular Joes off the street could knock on her door because it's one of the big houses of Brightport and everything. But you guys have an in, basically. You've been grandfathered in. Surely Merrick has made some some really amazing pastries or something. And, you know, while he was there. It's the only reason. That's enough. Have you tasted his pastries? Right. I wanted to invite him to a dinner party earlier and everyone gave me shit.

So you wanted to invite him there to cook. That's not that's not inviting someone to. OK, Jasper, back me up on this. Yeah, exactly. You'd enjoy that, wouldn't you, Merrick? Yeah. So let's head to Tessie's and, you know, as long as that's fine and we can hitch up the horses somewhere, we can, Merrick will, you know, Merrick will knock on the door. Same thing as usual. Dave is going to answer the door and invite you all in. Hey, Dave. So, Kalina's going to drag dirt in the door. Oh, yeah. That OK. That is the one thing. OK. David kind of keeps the place immaculate.

Like there's actually a staff of cleaners and stuff now and like they have guards. I mean, this is this is like legit. It's legit now. Like she's had she's had a long time to kind of get this get this kind of situated and straight. And the thing about the guards of House Dragonkeep are a lot of them are either thugs or like reformed criminals. Because what she's doing is offering them like an actual steady wage without having to rob people or, you know, enslave or deal drugs or whatever. And kind of just give them an honest living, like an honest day's wage.

So these guys don't fuck around like I said. But as far as David's concerned, like he he likes to keep things streamlined. He likes to keep people happy and he likes to keep shit clean. So that is going that is going to bug him a bit. It's like, like, his worst nightmare. And I'm sure you've been here before. I'm sure he's probably had to clean up after Kaluna once or twice. I'm sure we're all dripping blood out. Well, yeah, you're all stained. That would OK. That's another thing David would do immediately. It's just like, hey, can I take your bloody rags?

Can I get your let's get you a house robes. Let's get you Turkish waffle house robes like in a hotel. Oh, yeah. The window hotel that nice. I've had roaches on my pillow and it's like mints, but they move. I'm sorry. Here's the thing. They didn't even like scatter when the lights turned on. They kind of looked at us like, what? Fuck you. I live here. You're a guest. Big enough that when they turn their head, you can see it happening. Yeah, I know that. Oh, God. Let's move on. Yeah. Sorry. It's not all Turkish bathrobes for me. Yeah, I'm sorry. They made this noise like.

So sorry. Wait, what noise wasn't listening? Oh, I'm sorry. It was. I brought that on myself. I just want back to leave the call. So, yeah, he'd be minorly annoyed. Just kind of like signal to somebody that could you please clean that up? Just just kind of. But like still keep his keep his kind of respectful demeanor. It's like, hi. Because, you know, look, it's hard out there. You guys are you guys obviously you've had a rough one. I'm sorry, David. Kelowna isn't house trained. Yeah, America is going to definitely because this is just his way anyway, but he's going to be mirroring this respect and politeness.

He's going to be very apologetic. I'm so sorry for our we've had a bit of a run in a couple of times in the last day or so. And he's just that kind of like back and forth. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And he'd instantly catch himself. That's quite all right. I more than understand. Thanks. Should we. David, is Tessia around by any chance? Hmm. Do me a favor. Roll a perception check. No. He's going to hesitate for just a second. She's actually in disposed at the moment, but I'm sure she'll join you shortly. I'll go let her know that you're here. That would be great.

And I'm sorry that it's so late and I certainly don't want to interrupt anything that's happening for anybody. We just we'd love to be able to maybe catch a little bit of a rest overnight. Would that be much of a problem, do you think, David? Not at all. We can prepare to three rooms. How many we'd be needing. Would that be all right. Three. That would be great. He's going to look around at the parties. Anybody need any things special? Yes. Clune and miracle end up staying in the same room anyway, as usual. Probably. So. Hey, guys, guess what Santos is going to do?

Yep. So she's going to shrug. OK. Orden, you had something. So correct me if I'm wrong, Jason, but the big houses that I would be used to in Stone Thunder probably don't compare too well to this. OK. Yeah, there's the dwarves aren't really OK, like thread count on sheets. Not a big concern for dwarves. Like it's not like the houses of something like like Brightport and stuff like that. They they they kind of use their wealth to furnish these houses and make them really nice. Like, yeah, Orden's experiences with like large houses with the dwarves would be very different.

They they rough it a lot more, but they they're not really concerned with big cushy beds and, you know, soft furniture and all that stuff. I actually imagine that Orden is a little bit wide eyed, just that the because I imagine there's a lot of like paintings on the walls. Like, am I right that. Oh, yeah. No, this place is this place is really furnished. It was a lot creepier weeks and weeks ago, but it's been it's been yeah, it's been renovated. It's it's got some nice, nice paintings and stuff and and yeah, some decorations. All right. Then Orden's just going to be a little bit wide eyed and he'll look at Merrick and say, I'm sure I'm sure I'll be fine.

Great. David, that would be great if if we could if we could do that. I am happy to maybe put something together for everybody in the kitchen for like a late dinner. Would that be all right with everybody? Anybody have any requests? If you'll allow me. Of course. Again, there's going to be a split second where David's like, bitch, like just kind of just there's that like it's like they have a polite off every time they're in the room with each other. It's just that he is so reflexively. It's like, well, I'll go make something. What? Like just kind of like that's my kitchen.

But like he's yeah, he'll back off the second like it kind of dawns on like, oh, yeah, that's totally fine. That's no problem. I love this. This is my favorite part every time. I just imagine he's nonstop snack. Like, what's the word sassy looks like just nonstop. So, OK, so I mean, I think, you know, given that there's going to be some time before Tessia, that seems like the perfect time for everybody to just get a little like to just clean up, like find a find a tub or something or find a washbasin or or whatever and just get refreshed. Again, David would just kind of offer it's like, can I take your bloody garments?

That type of thing? Just very. Yeah, but, you know, like like basically find some water somewhere to wash yourselves off there. There'd be like a basin in the kitchen type of thing. Great. Which he may want to think about putting by the front doors. Yeah. Like or like the little the little kiddie pool you step into before you get into an actual pool. That's it. Right. That's it. The cleaning will be out in the alleyway. You can use the hose in the back. OK, great. So, yeah, I mean, is everybody going to just go sort of split off for just a little bit just to sort of get their bearings and take a moment to themselves?

I mean, that's what Merrick's planning on doing. It's just like he's going to sort of wash himself off if he can and sort of clean himself up. And then he's going to go ahead to the kitchen, not just to make food for for people. What he's trying to do is not put a burden on anybody of the staff. Right. He's just like he's going to go take care of it. So nobody else has to do anything. And David can just sort of relax. But he's also trying to do it as a meditative, like just being off in his own head for a few minutes. Merrick, tell Kaluna to wash off. Yes, Merrick would definitely be like, this is the time to refresh.

We'll pick Kaluna up, put them into a basin. And leave them to it. Right. Crouch down and then take the hose. Here's a rubber ducky. And there you go. Yeah, like a like a like whatever he can fashion into like a shower cap. He'll put that on to. That would be really big if you've seen Kaluna's head. Exactly. Yeah, like some sort of large burlap bag of some sort. You just be like, here you go. And then find something. Like the elephant man? They don't need a cap. Not a shower mask. OK. Famously, plants get pretty wet. So, yeah, it's actually a good thing for them to get wet.

Well, here's the thing. You've described Kaluna as part plant and part cat. And both of those have very different reactions to water. Actually, there are actually a lot of cats that like water, such as jaguars. Some cats like water, but they're the ones who end up on the Internet because it's adorable when they do. When we were talking about cats, my first thought wasn't jungle beast or savanna like jaguar. I was thinking, you know. I was thinking about the dumbass cat on my banister that like rolls off and then pretends that he did it on purpose. That sounds more like Kaluna.

Can we just all agree that Tessie's furniture is getting ruined? Yes. Does Kaluna scratch? No. Not on furniture. I like thinking that just there's like bits and pieces of branch type protrusions from Kaluna that maybe scratch up furniture every time they sit down on something anyway. Okay. So, yeah, Merrick would definitely be like, Kaluna, this is the time that we refresh. And he's going to sort of just be very, very clear about like, let's let's all get taken care of. Orden, you might want to get all of the blood off of your face that came out of your forehead.

We're these are friends and we need to be respectful. And to be honest, I'm not the closest of friends, but they know me. So I'm going to go get some food together for everybody. Don't break anything. And he's going to look at Kaluna. Kaluna is fed up at this point and they're going to give him just like a just fuck off. Fuck off. Just that kind of look. And then they they don't I don't know if they know where all the bath stuff is, so they'll just follow everyone else. Like, this is fucking stupid, stupid baths. But, you know, as soon as they get in there, they're just going to stay there for like an hour.

Like, yes, this is the best thing ever. Why am I not taking a bath all the time? This is so much better than getting destroyed by Gnolls. I know we're just talking about what kind of baths we're taking. Yep. So Merrick's going to go like make some put some sandwiches together or something like that and try to do something amazing with a I don't know, maybe like a an au jus so that people can, you know, have like a dipping sauce for their sandwiches. Good God, man. That's amazing. I'm sorry. I just I'm just a roast beef. Just the fact that you cut that off the top of your head impresses me because like I don't even know what that is.

It's just it's just meat juice. It's just meat juice. It's basically it's a roast. That's less fancy when you put it that way. It's a it's a roast. Let's say roast beef sandwiches, if there's any sort of roast beefy type thing. And he'll he'll sort of come up with a like, you know, meat juice sauce. See, that is a OK. That is a substance that we had to come up with a fancier name for, because if you were at someone's house and it's like, would you like some au jus with your sandwich? You're like, wow, thank you. You like some meat juice to go with your. It's like, yeah, you have to come up with a.

Guys, guys. Stop it. No, you enjoy meat juice. Bad Dragon dot com has a special customization just for you called a cum tube you can put inside your dildo. And then you press a little button and it goes. Well, good night, everybody. Yeah. Good night. Good night, everybody. Yep. So let's see. Merrick went off to make some sandwiches with some au jus. And I'm not over it. Never going to be over that. Let's see. Kaluna went to clean up. You guys are getting your your your armor and bloody rags and stuff clean. So what would be what would be the would there be anything that you'd be trying to get done before Teske would wrap things up and join you guys?

Or is it just pretty much unwinding? Just trying to get off? Just trying to get off. Just trying to get off. Just trying to get off. No. All America's doing in the kitchen. I actually have I actually have a question from looking around this house. I know that they've done a lot of cleaning up. And is there any way that Fantos would have been able to know that this is like a powerful place? Like, you know what I mean? Like, is there any traces that she would be able to pick up? See, OK. The thing is, the the regular living quarters of of of this place is for the most part just that.

It's not until you get into the basement that things get weird. Now, the old decor, the the the Rams heads, you know, fucking tacked to the wall and the old paintings and a lot of the the the miscellaneous artifacts type stuff. That would have been a real dead giveaway. But now it just looks like a really, really nice house. OK. Here's here's basically what I'm thinking. I'm not trying to be meta about it. If Fantos thought that there was interesting stuff to go look at, she'd want to go look at them. So maybe a streetwise check? You can do a streetwise because I'd like to see.

So Fantos, when they stumbled upon Fantos, she was already in Brightport, but hadn't been there for very long, I'm guessing. No, not at all. Yeah. So let's see how much she would have found out about any of these houses or anything going on. Probably nothing because my streetwise sucks, but I'm just thinking of what Fantos would do. Holy shit. Jesus Christ. Really? There you go. Fucking really? The one time it really doesn't matter at all? Cool. Thanks. So Fantos would know a little bit about this house's history because up until recently it had been house darksbane for fucking years and years and years.

And as one of that, that's like the big focal point of Brightport. You get there and it's like, oh, yeah, the three houses and everything. Also all these smut peddlers and drug dealers and fucking bandits and stuff like that. But those three houses are kind of the lifeblood of this city. So she would have known that there would have been some some arcane dealings or something of value or some kind of curios or something at the very least up until recently. And not seeing any of that on the surface would kind of like, OK, well, then did they throw it out?

Did they store it somewhere? What's going on? Right. All right. Then she will definitely go try to just kind of wander around. And I imagine that eventually, once she realized that there wasn't stuff, she would actually start looking for like where they were keeping it, whether it was like in a storage room or like you said in the basement. But like I'm like I'm trying to paint a picture of like she's probably in like a white cloth dress, like just a throwaway while her stuff is getting cleaned, white dress. And she's kind of just wandering around just looking for interesting shit.

OK. Nothing in particular, but just like she likes to wander like she was doing in the library. She likes to look at stuff. Like typical teenager shit. Just like, yeah, poke your nose. You can't just sit alone in a room with the promise of dinner maybe coming soon. Like that's so boring. Let's see here. What about everyone else after Kelowna gets clean and what would they be doing? I don't know, because it's sort of they're still full of restless energy. So I guess they would be sort of wandering around, too, but less like looking at stuff and more just sort of trying to expend energy, I guess, if that makes sense.

OK. What about Ordon? So I suppose Ordon would be probably a little bit uncomfortable in the house. Is there a is there a what's the yard like for the house? Nicer than it was used to be a graveyard or half of it was. So outside, a lot of care has been taken to to to kind of the entire thing is to to change the house's image. Right. So they've they've they've manicured the lawn and they've tried to they've tried to make it a lot less terrifying. So it's a pretty big, expansive yard. It's it's it's there's definitely some room to move around and stuff. Would there be anything like a back patio with a place to sit down or a gazebo in the yard or something?

Yeah, I'd imagine they have some kind of like furniture set up out back and stuff. OK, then I think he'd probably just work his way back there and stay out of the way. OK. And Merrick is getting some stuff ready to eat. So, OK, with only one of you really having a goal, let's let's like like a hardcore like I'm trying to find X. Let's have let's have Santos roll a perception check and see what see what you'd notice around the house. All right. Here it comes. Wow. Shit. I found the gold dragon. I'm taking it. I own the city. Fuck you. My city now. Dude, can you imagine if a 14 year old had a say?

This 14 year old specifically had a say. Oh my God, it'd be Ice Town from Parks and Rec. Oh my God. So that is going to do some snooping and just poker fucking nose around and really, really go everywhere she shouldn't probably be and kind of poker head and rooms and stuff. And she would see she'd find like Tessie's office. And there's like a lot of nice books and stuff in there. Kind of a really cozy like a cozy place. There's a little fireplace. There's like a nice like kind of an antique wood desk type of thing. And just kind of poking in a lot of a lot of guest rooms, like a lot of guest rooms.

But she wouldn't find anything of of note like no. It's like, oh, this is the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch. That type of thing. Nothing. Nothing. It's like, huh? Where's the cool shit? This is all just like there's lots of flowers. Like every room has has like fresh like fresh flowers. Not cut, but like, yeah, not not not like fresh cut flowers, but they're they're like actually potted flowers and stuff. Oh, Kalluna should be looking around. They'd like this. So eventually eventually Thanatos is going to get to the point where it's like, OK, there's nothing there's nothing on this floor, nothing on this floor.

So she will find the stairs leading down to the quote unquote basement level. And that's where things look way different. This is where the architecture kind of changes, because the the up top is very it looks like a big wood mansion, like just a standard like big ass manor. And then it kind of takes on this stone gray, like almost as if this has been like reinforced. And there's a lot of etchings on the walls, that type of thing, like kind of arcane script or or something like that. And these stairs would lead down. Now, is this something Thanatos would be after?

Oh, hell yeah. She would immediately just like start going downstairs, because here's the other thing about being that age. You can get away with being anywhere. Like if someone finds her, how mad are they really going to be? She could just be like, I was looking for the bathroom. And it's pretty much like when really old people try to steal. Like it's like, it's like, what are you going to do? Like arrest them? Like, yeah. OK, OK, so let's do this. I imagine that Merrick, if it cuts to Merrick's face, that it would be like, like he would smell something wrong.

There's something in the floors. He like lifts his head off like something's not right. My beard senses are coming in, my mustache senses are coming in. What the fuck is Thanatos up to? Well, since you've all split up, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to roll a flat D20 and on a 15 or higher, David is going to find Thanatos trying to go downstairs. But because he's kind of like his attention's divided, he's making sure your garments get clean, he doesn't have to cook for anybody. But I mean, everybody's kind of everywhere. So he'd be checking in just to make sure everyone's fine.

He has to make sure Kaluna doesn't destroy anything. That's probably where a lot of his focus is. Yeah. Go free some of the potted plants. I got your back. Desperately trying to put plastic on the furniture. Please, please don't get mud on the couch. Just please, just... They just got clean, man. All right, here we go. Thank you, David. I failed you. He doesn't get her, right? 15 or higher, he's going to find her, I said. Oh, it's his roll. Okay, I thought it was for me and I was like, why are you rolling it? No, it's just like the odds were heavily against. Yeah.

Okay, here's... Okay, go. David is going to catch Santos starting to go down those stairs and very... You can kind of see him step forward. Can I help you? Santos will kind of look to him and then look down the stairs and then up at the markings that were like around the stairs. And then... What are those? And he's going to look around just a bit. They're from the previous management. I can tell you all about them if you come with me this way. And he's going to motion back toward the living room area. Um, Than doesn't look down again. God, she really wants to go now, especially now.

Because it's like, oh, you don't want me down there, huh? But she doesn't really see a way out of it, so she will go with David and listen to his boring ass stories about Dark's Bane. Okay. With some actual interest, because it's like, wait, what is that? Like, she does actually want to know. Right. I'm disappointed as Brianna, but that's okay. So as you're walking back, I think David would almost make it a point to find Merrick and just be like, you're missing one. Like, you're just like, you maybe want to... It's like actually having twins in real life.

What is it? This is exactly... We're making a mess. The other one's going where it's not. Aren't you glad you're doing this escapist thing to get away from me? That's exactly what's happening. I'm actually living exactly what I normally live. Because you have no idea how often we say, where's Inez? Oh, shit. Because we don't hear her. I can hear Inez. That's the cool one. Yeah. As soon as you don't hear Inez, that means that she's somehow gotten into our room and she's like pulling stuff out from under the bed or something like that. And what would she find under the bed?

Oh, God. Oh, my God. Stop. Lots and lots of like drugs, like lots of really like poisons. We keep a lot of poisons just open at the end of the bed. Lots of Clorox. Just stuff for her to drink. For everyone? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Just lots of stuff that would be horrible. She needs to learn her lesson about going into your room eventually. That's what I said to Ana, but she's... Well, you never know when you're going to need to clean things in a hurry. That's true. Actually, that would be funny. Why do you have Clorox underneath the side of your bed? What's going on?

What are you doing that needs... We're into some weird shit. Fuck off. Yeah, so, yeah, I'm assuming that this wouldn't take Merrick too long to get together, the sandwiches and whatever. So he's going to be trying to put this together to bring it out to the parlor so that he can make sure everybody's congregating. Yeah, it might even be a thing where you got out there just as like she had left and then just like he's going to usher... Like telling her all about these and while they're walking... I was going to ask what he actually told her about. While they're walking, so they did a number of things in this house and some of it was more experiment based just to kind of...

And he's very... like because you're a child, he's very much trying to dance around the issue and it's like... But essentially what Thanos would gleam was they would experiment on people and then they would keep a tally of their findings written on the walls leading down there. And if you go down, it's all over the walls. Like it starts. They ran out of room downstairs and it leads all the way up. And Thanos would be asking all of the questions he really wouldn't want her to ask. Of course she would. Like what did they do to him? Like how many of them died?

He would be very... it's like kind of dance around and just... They did very unpleasant things, but that's all over now. Just very, you know, just like, yeah, we don't like to, you know... If, if Kaluna walked up on this, they would absolutely... they would be enraptured. Like, oh man, story time. We just lure them both back with story time. Basically like, oh man, what happened though? What did they do? Just getting double dinked by like, okay, but what bad things? What did they do? I would imagine, I would imagine eventually he would run out of nice ways to put it.

And it's like, well, that's when we installed the drainage system in certain rooms because they just got too hard to clean. And then... And then it would just turn into a thing where they take turns just going, why? Why? Why? Why? Just one after the other, like... That's my future. Poor David, he seems nice. Everyone, everyone would be congregating in the... I guess Ordon would be too? Or is Ordon just still chilling in the back? After a while he'd come back in and see where food is coming from. Okay. He's hungry. Let me ask a question about Ordon. Yes. What's Ordon's diet usually consist of?

Like, is it typical like, dwarven food? Or is it like, did you differ in some way? Or... Because sandwiches to a dwarf would be like, like, man, I'm really, really hungry. And it's like, well, here's cotton candy. It's kind of like that offering. It's like, that's nice. It's just like, they're, it's more like meat. Like, I want meat. It's like a salad, but like not even a good salad, like a McDonald's salad. Oh, no. I was with you until you said cotton candy wasn't a meal. Well... That's why I came in with the salad thing, because I was like cotton candy is a meal.

Okay. Meat and potatoes. I mean, standard. Like, I think he will be slightly disappointed with this, with this meal. Yeah. They will also accept like really hearty stews, like thick, gloppy meat potato carrot stews. Like, just, oh. Ordon, you have my au jus. My au jus. Just drink it. What you're going with is right in step with one another. Okay, cool. So just drink Merrick's au jus. It'll be like a shot of espresso. That's good. Another. It's like a shot glass line of meat sauce. Au jus flight. Oh, that's good. Colunna will be very happy with the sandwiches. All right.

So... I guess we'll also eat, because we're dying. And then shrug while eating. She'll do that thing like the second you ask her a question, she'll take a bite so that she has to chew and can't answer. And then just glare at you while she does it. As you're asking the question, she meets your gaze and just... And then she chews ridiculously slowly, like, yum. Yum. I would say from the time you got here till now has been about 35, maybe 45 minutes, somewhere in there. And Tessie is finally going to join you. But she'll be coming from the same direction that Thanos just left.

And she would join the party and just immediately start apologizing. I'm very sorry, everyone. I've been indisposed recently. It's very nice to see all of you again, though. Miracle stand like very trying to be very, very respectful and polite to Tessie. So Miracle, just quickly, you know, thank you for having us here. Sorry to intrude. I don't know if David sort of clued you on what was happening, but we've had kind of a rough couple of days. We need a little bit of rest, and honestly, I probably need to ask a little bit of help from you as well. But before that, and Miracle will just go around and make sure, you know, Kaluna, Thanos, and our new friend, Ordon.

Ordon, this is Tessie. And I'll stand up and offer a hand. Oh, she would be right there with a handshake. Wait, wait, one second. Real quick, to paint a picture, does she have to bend her knees a little bit? No, I mean, like, she's not that much taller. Okay. It would be just a bit, because she's not a very tall woman to begin with. A tiny bit taller than Ordon, though. He's not a garden gnome. No, no, no, no. Are you sure? I always pictured Tessie up pretty tall, to be honest, just because she has that regal feel about her. Well, she carries herself as if she's ten feet tall.

That's the thing. I always pictured her as, like, small mom. Kind of small mom, yeah. All of her kids are bigger than her. Oh, poor thing, she had to push out Phallus. He didn't come out that big. She should have trained with that gnome. Uh, Merrick will say, Ordon, Tessie has been, first, a friend of friends, but now someone that I consider one of the most trusted people that I know. And she's also been extraordinarily helpful in the past for things that have needed to happen, and for that I'll always be grateful. He's just being sort of over-polite. He's not trying to deceive her, but he is certainly just trying to make sure it's clear.

He's very aware that he's not trying to take advantage or be a dick. But we really needed some help, he'll say. And I appreciate you having us here. She would definitely hold up her hand eventually and just, like, stop. Knock it off. Like, that very... Stop saying you're sorry. Yeah. It's the least I could do to help. Trust me. So, uh, how have you been, Tessia? How have things been in Brightport? Busy, actually. In a good way, I hope. Mostly. And she's gonna get ready and take a seat with you guys, just, uh, and make sure to offer to, like, please sit down. Everyone sit.

Merrick will just motion to the sandwiches in case she's interested. Um, she would actually reach over and grab a little something, eventually. David told me that it looked like you had had a hard time recently. Merrick will sort of look at everybody and say, um, yeah, a couple of skirmishes, a couple of battles that we weren't expecting. And all of this on the heels of some research that we were doing. Colonial ground. Yeah. So we've done some research. Been up in the Hazen Mountains and coming back, we kind of had a little bit of a tough time. But we're okay now.

I think we just need a little bit of rest just to recuperate a little bit. But at some point, I'd like to give you a little bit of a rundown of some of the, um, some of what we've found. If you'd like to get some rest first, you're more than welcome. I think that might be best. Thank you again for having us. And I think Merrick would say, we won't keep you any longer. We don't want to disturb you for the moment. But yeah, we'll see ourselves up and thank you again. Again, you're always welcome to stay here. It's the least I can do. And it's nice to see the house do something with its power for the good.

I'll let you go get some rest. And it always, do me a favor, roll insight. It almost seems to Merrick that Tessia is, hmm, like maybe has something to do. Like, like, like not necessarily in a hurry to get away from you, but just like, okay, if you guys are going to get some rest, awesome. I have some things to do. So she's going to stand right up after after you excuse yourselves. With that insight roll, would it seem to Merrick that there was something not okay? Like, or would it just be that she's just busy? Just busy. I think it would come off as more just busy.

Okay. I don't think he would question that. Okay. I assume as soon as Stantis is done eating, she's just going to like push her plate away and like nod to Merrick because she's not that much of a bitch and then just go back to her room. Okay, well, Merrick's going to clean up after after everybody. Of course he is. Because... Looking David in the eye as he picks up the plates. No, it's like you're plowing his wife right in front. Right on top of the dining room table and then you clean up after yourself so he can't even. He's going to at least stack the plates and put all of the cutlery on top, you know, like that kind of thing.

Like a good restaurant patron. Exactly. That's what I do at the Olive Garden. When you're there, you're family. That's too... When you're there, you're family who has to wait an hour to pay. Oh my. Yeah, but a bottomless bowl of everything. Anyway. Yeah, so Merrick's going to... I mean, I guess that's it. I think this is the goal is to get some rest, honestly, and just get our everything back and be refreshed. So let's... Oh, I have a feeling I know where this is going. Sanchez was told not to go somewhere a minute ago. As soon as everyone's asleep. You know what I feel like that's time for?

Let's change the mood of the table a bit. Yeah. Guys. Oh, guys. Theriathon. After dark. I think if everyone else is heading off to bed, what I'm going to do for everyone else in just a few minutes is I'm going to give them a full rest. And everyone's going to get back their hit points and their healing surges and all that good stuff. But right now, I think it's time for a little skill check challenge. Oh, these always go so well in my favor. We'll see what's going on. Remember the last time that they just tried to sneak out? Yeah. Here's the thing, though. This was actively trying to steal from someone.

And there's a lot of factors in that, like how heavy a sleeper is Merrick and like where you were and all that stuff. It was kind of hard to steal in a place like that because it's big. It's echoey. You guys are on your guard. It's not... This is different. Everyone is pretty much in different rooms and you're sneaking through a house. So what I'm going to ask you to do is roll a few different checks here for me. And if you get two successes before four failures, then you've succeeded. OK. So do me a favor. Roll a little stealth check to see how quietly Thanos leaves her room. [Ominous music] [Squeak] [Laughter] That was the best noise.

There was so much hope contained in that squeal. [Laughter] Thanos is going to turn the knob to a room and doing something. If anybody has ever, as a teenager specifically, but trying to sneak past like your parents or something like that, just trying to sneak out of a place. You become hyper aware of how much noise everything makes. Thanos is going to get ready and turn the knob to this door and there's going to be a very soft click. And then a mild, mild creak as this door slowly swings open and Thanos steps out into the hallway. And then she's going to start to creep down the hallway, toward the stairs.

And then I want you to do me a favor and roll another stealth check for me. Wow! Then she cartwheels down those stairs. And then she stomps all the way down. Wow. She stomps and no one hears. [Laughter] Wow. OK. Yay. Thanos is going to continue unabated through the rest of this house like a fucking ninja. Not wearing any heavy armor, just the white cup dress thing, just a 14 year old knot, not a lot of weight. So she's going to pad through this house and make her way back to those stairs. Which appear to be completely unguarded. Now, the guards to the house are mainly located on the outside.

And it's to keep people from getting in. They don't really expect any trouble from within. And this would be, I would say, this is middle of the night by now, like a good 1am, somewhere in there. What would Thanos like to do? She would like to go down the stairs, please. And just kind of be on the lookout. It's just curiosity, but now she's extra curious because, again, someone told her not to come down here. So there's got to be something cool. Like a golden dragon that will allow her to rule the city. Which I'm sure you'll get out of the house alive with.

Yes. Would Tessia kill a 14 year old? Really? No. No, not Tessia. [Laughter] David is actually, like, I kind of imagine that David is actually secretly a huge badass. Like he has like nine daggers on his person at all times. He's like the butlers from Fire Emblem. Not to make it about Fire Emblem. I was actually thinking of the butler from Helsing. Because he has those cool floss fingers that he chops everyone up with. See, now I picture that vest that Danny Trejo is wearing in Desperado. That fucking knife vest thing. [Laughter] Thanos is going to very slowly inch her way down these stairs into the basement of House Dragonkeep.

And with each step, she's going to feel this mild temperature shift. Like most basements, you go into them and it feels cooler down there. And each step, it's going to just, it's very cold stone. It's very, it's more feeling than anything because the rest of the house is set up to be so homey and furnished and lived in. And this place is cold and kind of rough and raw. And being told what you were told about it, you know that really bad things have happened down here. And as Thanos goes down the stairs, it's going to open up a bit into this large hallway.

And there are several rooms on either side and it extends, it extends down for a ways and then sort of rounds a corner. Where would Thanos like to go? Mmm. Really quick, is she getting like, is it just creepy because she heard everything that happened down here? Or is it creepy in its own right as like, would she be suspicious that there's like something down here that could hurt her on any level? Well, imagine being told like you're at camp, right? And imagine being told it's like, oh man, down that trail about 30 years ago, there was grisly murders.

There was a series of it. And you're at the camp where that happened. But it isn't 30 years ago. It was, oh yeah, about six, seven weeks ago. And there was, so. And then they show you the newspaper article of like, yeah, this shit's real. Right. Yeah. And like you're, you're walking past all these etchings, like maybe even running your hand over it as you're walking down these stairs. And you can, you can feel the evidence of like horrible shit has happened. And there's these, there's these solid wooden doors on almost all of the doors. There's one that looks to appear to maybe a blown off or something that's not there anymore.

But you can see kind of like the hinges hanging. And each one of these doors is sort of a wooden reinforced door with metal bars over like, like a window area so you could look in. Some of them actually have doors over that so someone could open or close them. Okay. I imagine she would kind of just go down the line of doors and like peek into every single one. And kind of just give it a little look to see like what was happening there. Like I imagine, I can imagine as like, and I'm sure she can too, like, okay, I'll probably find shackles and maybe some blood.

Maybe a corpse. I don't know. But like she'd look into every little window just, just, just to see like, do you have when you were a kid, did you ever go to like a really old building? Oh, yes. And just you wanted to explore every corner because it was all kind of like a mystery. Yeah. That's essentially what she's doing right now like she is a little bit like put off but not enough like I was going to say if she actually felt like she was in danger she'd charge. But she's not that scared because it's like okay that shit happened in the past and yeah it's fucked up but.

Right, it's more like man some grizzly shit happened here but it's not here anymore that type of thing. So cool. Yeah. Okay. So these these holes in the door are going to be set just a little bit higher than Thanatos could comfortably see into. Like you pretty much have to climb onto the door or find something to boost yourself up with. Like, each one of these, each one of these doors has like sort of a ring the handle to it like a like a hanging iron like handle type thing. So like this is could conceivably put her foot in one of those and sort of proper self up.

Right. Let me double check, but I believe, let me check. Yeah, this is 90 pounds so she could probably safely pull herself up. Okay. So she would do that then just grab the bar and then maybe like prop her foot up on the metal bar that's blocking the door and just like only yank herself up a few inches to see inside, you know. Yeah, yeah. And you said you wanted to do that just kind of like poke around like each room until. Yeah just go down the line. Yeah. She would definitely go inside the one with the doors blown off because it's like oh cool this one's easy access like she doesn't want to open them all because again 90 pounds.

She's probably not gonna get the metal bars off easily and quietly, so. Right, yeah, no. Thanatos is going to continue to peer into these, into these doors and there's one that appears to have just been like, like a large, like a full factory type of thing where there's there obvious ingredients sitting around the room there's some sort of brewing station for making potions. Continuing down the way there's the room that looks like the door had been like either taken off or blasted off or whatever. On the wall there are shackles and this isn't, this isn't like hanging chains type of thing.

These are just clasps so someone or something could have conceivably been like almost taped to the wall. Like there'd be, there'd be one that would be positioned right around the throat area and then wrists and then ankles. Just, just, just sitting there and God only knows what could have happened to someone if they were, they were here and just like suspended against the wall. And then continuing down the hallway, one of the, one of the last doors before the, before the corner turns. Thanatos is going to prop herself up and you remember how I said there are kind of doors that you can close over the bars just to kind of make it a solid door again.

Would she be opening all of these or would take that as a sign it's like okay I don't know. Oh she'd definitely be opening. Yeah I was about to say I'm guessing that wouldn't stop. Thanos is going to open this, the little, little latch here to look into this room. And it's fairly dark inside, but this is the first room where it looks like there's some kind of care and attention like this room is in use. And there'd be a couple of flickering torches, sort of on the small side, almost like night lights. And against the wall, there's going to be a small figure chained up.

Do me a favor roll a perception check. Come on Lucky Dildo, let's go. Wow. I love you Lucky Dildo. Squinting into the darkness, Thanatos is going to see that this appears to be a young lady wearing semi, semi dark armor shackled at, you know, not just the ankles but the wrists with enough chain that she appears to be lying on the ground. But the last remaining shackle will be around her neck. Doesn't look like it's incredibly tight, but she is being restrained. Long dark hair covering most of her face. Doesn't appear to be on the tall side at all. Kind of diminutive.

What would Thanatos like to do? Okay, um, Thanatos would... She looks okay. So she's kind of diminutive and like small and I guess she'd just call out like, "Hello?" She looks as though this person might have been sleeping and she's going to kind of snap to just very just and look at the door, not say anything for a few seconds. Who are you? And she'll just keep herself propped up because again she's small and it's not much effort to keep herself up. And she'll say, "Thanatos? Who are you?" And she's kind of- I can't whisper, I'm not a whispery type person, but she is whispering.

Right. Is Thanatos afraid of like calling attention to herself at this point or is it more just interested in what's going on in that room and not thinking too much about her surroundings? Um, at this point honestly what she's thinking is, "Shit, they're still doing experiments." So she's crying to keep quiet so they can't like- she can't be heard up the stairs, but she can be heard by this figure. There's going to be a long pause. You should leave. Nuh-uh. Are they doing experiments on you? What? That's what the guy said, they do experiments down here on people.

Do you need help? Would it look like Thanatos would be motioning to open the door or move toward the handle at all? She's kind of just propped up on the door, so no. She would have to like- to open the door she would have to hop down. So she's not doing that yet. She would- at the "Do you need help?" she would very quickly raise her hand as if to just like stop. And you'd hear the clattering of chains as she does it, and these look heavy. Like way heavier than this small woman has any right to have chains put on. Like, I mean, she is well and truly restrained.

Don't. So Bree has just said no and like lifted her hand up, but question. This is pertinent for reasons that I can't say. When she lifts her hand up and like, you can tell it's heavy, but is it a challenge for her at all? Like, to lift her hand? Like is it that heavy? Or are they just big on her? It's fairly heavy. Like you could tell she's doing it with some effort. So Thanatos isn't gonna move, but she is going to keep talking. 'Cause earlier she didn't want to, so now she's gonna do it all. Why are you down here? Who are you? Once she sees that you're not trying to open the door, you're not trying to get in, she relaxes a little bit.

And she's gonna lower her hand, mostly because it looks like it's a lot of effort for her to sort of keep them up. Look, you really should leave. I don't know why you're here or who let you in, but you shouldn't be down here. Just forget you saw me, turn around, and walk away. My friends and I could get you out. You don't have to be scared. Um, she's gonna lower her head and sort of look at the ground. I could leave anytime I wanted to. I'm here by choice. You don't need to save me. I don't need rescuing. Just go. She's not gonna, um... Why? That is the first time that she's going to, she's gonna lift her head and look at the door and sort of squint.

How old are you? How old are you? Twenty-five. And she's gonna kind of get a little bit defensive with her and be like, "I'm old enough." The people here are doing me a favor. I ask to be locked up. It's not safe for me to be around people right now. Why? Now there's a tinge of annoyance. Because I can't trust myself around people, okay? And this time, Thanos is gonna wait quite a while. But then... Why? Okay. This girl is gonna stand up. And again, this is taking effort. Like, there is, like, there is, there is... One of these heavy bindings is around her waist, her ankles, and her, like, she...

Every, every which way she is chained to this wall. These, these things are heavy and cumbersome. But she's just pissed off enough now. And, and it's gonna be this, this horrible cacophony of rattling from these chains as she stands up. Look. I've told you all I want to tell you. I'm... And she's gonna kind of catch herself just for a second. I'm not in danger. And I don't need help. You're in danger if you stay here. Just go away. Thanos is going to kind of stay in the window for, like, a minute. And then she'll just, without saying a word, jump down. And then she's going to say, "I'll be right back." And then she's going to take up, up the stairs and go to Merrick's room.

Oh, god. Do me a favor, roll a perception check. Okay. Okay, yeah, no. Never mind. She's very single-minded about this. Yeah, so you're not going to hear her just ex- Are you fucking kidding? Like, that kind of, like, that sound, it's like, "Are you deaf?" Um... Sometimes playing Thanos is really annoying. Sometimes it is so rewarding. Let's go to Jasper's room. Let's go to Merrick's room. Either one. Either one? Both of them. Sure. He's like, "I'm going to get out of the room where Thanos is going to ruin that fucking Merrick's night." The mustache waves a little bit.

I think that in my, again, my magical realism mindset, I think that as soon as Thanos turned to come back up, Merrick would sit straight up in bed. What's wrong? Something's wrong. Something's not right. Kaluna bolts up too, because holy shit, what happened? Merrick has a Thanos sense, Kaluna has a Merrick sense. Everybody's... Ordered just as AC. Uh, so what happens here? What's going on? Um, Thanos would, this time, not even bothering to be stealthy at all, just kind of pitter-patter her way up to Merrick's room. She's not even wearing shoes, by the way, because she was going to, like, it's time for bed.

And just knock on his door. A decent, like, like not a nighttime knock. A daytime knock. But not a hard knock either. Just, you know. Okay. Maybe we can do like a behind the scenes where you have all the different knocks. Sort of, like, for us. Like, with sound effects. Um, I'm assuming Merrick would hear it. I don't think he's like, crazy. He's not drunk asleep or anything like that. So, um, he'll, uh, you know, of course pantsless, but with the armor on his chest and arms, he would, um, just kidding. Nobody even... There wasn't even a flinch, like, yeah, of course.

Well, yeah, duh. Who sleeps with pants on? For real, does anyone actually do that? I think it's a myth. No, I'm talking, he's like, he's got full armor, everything up top and completely nothing on below the waist. Oh, just, okay, yeah. That gigantic shoulder pad is his pillow. Exactly. Kaluna's wearing his pants. It's not even a sexual thing. Kaluna likes his pants a lot. Um, yeah, so he'll, he'll open the door. What, like, what, what's... Fantas, what's going on? Is everything okay? What's happening? There's a girl in the basement. Okay, hang on. He's gonna put his fingers and pinch the top of his nose and kind of, like, shake his head and he's just trying to get his bearings.

Wouldn't it be safe to assume that Kaluna woke up from the knock? Probably. Yeah, Kaluna's gonna be like, "What the fuck? What?" Just, like, blinking her really slowly. Fantas isn't gonna give you the minute. She's gonna grab your hand and start tugging you towards the stairs. Wait, there's a girl in the basement. I don't, hang on. Kaluna, just, I'll, I'll be back. Kaluna will follow. Kaluna's just like, "What the fuck is happening?" It's like a jossy outing. Fine. Yeah, it's 2 a.m. Merrick just basically gets pulled along and it's just like, "Fine, what's going on?

Fine." Waking up as it's happening. Fantas will bring them back to the basement. Oh, god. No. This is going to go so poorly. Fantas, you're not supposed to be in any of these places. You're supposed to stay in your room. This is, we've got to be respectful of our hosts. Kaluna's walking past him and investing. Merrick. And she's just gonna say, "There's a girl tied up in the basement. We have to help." Ah. Um. Fine. Where, show me, show me. She will show. Oh my. Alright. This is how you imagine this going down, Jason. I don't know how I imagined it. I just, I feel, I feel for Merrick right now.

Poor Merrick. Ah. Poor warden. I feel like this is like, usually Fantas tries not to act her age, but like, this is her acting the most her age she ever has. Right, like the excitement is just like, "No, I found a thing." This might stir up some shit. Yeah. Poor Ordon's just sleeping. Sorry, Ordon. Sorry, Ordon. It's okay. Sorry. Oh God. Okay, so making, making your way down this set of stairs and the hallway and back to the door. Fantas is gonna run ahead before they get there. Like, she's gonna finally let go of Merrick and then before they get there, like run to the door, jump back up and just whisper, "I brought, I brought some people to help." From the other, from the other side of the door, do me a favor, roll a perception check.

Hold up. I gotta line up. Yeah, this would not be hard to hear. From the other side of the door, everyone's just gonna hear, "Oh my, are you kidding me?" Just, the frustration, just absolute frustration. Do we recognize the voice, Jason? Merrick and, and Kaluna would, yeah. Okay, then Kaluna's all basically going to shove Fantas out of the way. Just like- Uh, no. Fantas is gonna hold on. Kaluna's going to sort of insistently move. Are we gonna have to have a dice fight? She's gonna hold on. Do me a favor. Both of you give me a raw strength check. Okay. Oh no, that's not fair.

Fine. He doesn't have good strength either, it's fine. Is it an eleven? 'Cause mine's an eleven. Yep. Oh sweet, so it's really just like a face, do you think? This is, yeah, this is- Should've grabbed my dildo. Oh! Should've grabbed the dildo, I couldn't grab it. It's the spikes, it's the spikes, guys. Kaluna's still spiky. So Kaluna's gonna- She's fucking out! Exactly, just like, "Err." Okay. There's just gonna be a sound like, "Hey!" Merrick's gonna try to jump in here and just sort of, you know, put his hand on Kaluna like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, hang on, hang on." Now you both have to do this.

He's not like getting in the way. One at a time, one at a time. Okay. Yeah, Merrick's gonna be just like, "Oh wait," just like, "Caution." Like, "Wait, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on." And I don't know if that will stop Kaluna from- No. Doing anything at all. No. Ahh. So what is Kaluna trying to do right this second? Open the door or like, look through the door? He's just trying to look through, just like, "Holy shit, that's not who I think it is." Um. He's gonna look in, "Who do they see, Jason?" Um, they're gonna see Brianna. They're gonna, yeah, she's gonna be shackled to the wall.

And they're going to say, "What the fuck?" And Merrick's gonna be, "Okay, my turn, my turn." He's actually gonna be getting into this a little bit. And he's gonna try to push Kaluna out of the way so he can see it. Yeah, Kaluna will move. Okay. And just sort of like, "Holy shit, what the fuck? What the fuck? This is fucked up." I'm just trying to imagine what Brianna sees. Just like four people trying to get their face- Well, it wouldn't be- just, you're gonna hear shoving and like jostling, like it's a stone floor, so like all- Yeah. It's gonna be very- This is the Three Stooges.

Kind of, yeah. Yeah. A little bit. I don't wanna take any gravitas from it, but yeah. So, so Merrick's- I'm assuming he's gonna see that it's- that it's Bri. I mean, is it like enough, or is he gonna still be like, "I'm not. This can't be happening." I think there's gonna be a shade of like, what the fuck's going on, but that's definitely Bri. Like it's- So he's gonna say, "Bri?" And she's gonna hear your voice, "Merrick?" Okay, so Merrick's gonna get close to the bars and he's gonna say, "Wait, wait, Bri, are you okay? Do you need help?" And he's gonna start to tug at the door.

She's gonna lift her hand and you're gonna hear the clattering of chains, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What? I told your friend I don't need any help. I'm not being kept here against my will. I'm fine." What are you doing down here? This isn't- You're shackled to the wall. Bri, what's happening? This isn't normal. And he's gonna continue to try to open the door. Like- Oh yeah, she's gonna get more and more panicked. It's gonna be very, very evident that she's almost in a full-blown panic. I said don't come in here. Okay, he's gonna stop immediately and like, "Okay, something isn't right here.

What? Bri, what's going on? I mean, I don't wanna pry, but it's two in the morning and there's some girl shackled in the basement and you're saying it's okay. I don't ever remember you needing to be shackled in a basement." Let me do a thing. I'm gonna check something. Mm-hmm. Okay. Once it's clear that you're not trying to get into the room anymore, you're gonna see her calm down right away. Lower her hand. Shit, I just realized what that dice roll was for. Fuck! Guys, get Santos out of there! It's complicated. It's not safe for me to be around other people right now.

I didn't- I didn't know where else to go. Is it your powers? Is it psionics? Are you- what's going on? You remember I took off for Lockford? Yeah. You remember why I took off for Lockford? No. The town had been overrun. The werewolves had killed a lot of people and our team that we sent in were pinned down. Can- before- this is Marek's interruption in his brain. Can he put something together here? Should he roll anything? Could he have like a plus five because- Yeah, I was about to say, give me an intelligence check with a plus three. Okay, 'cause my insight's real good, you guys, but I'll do it.

It's up to you. Uh, yeah, let me do- I'm gonna do the insight. Yeah. She's gonna get part way through this and you're gonna- yeah. Marek's gonna say, "Hold the fuck on. Werewolf? Bree? Are you shackled down here because of yourself being a danger to other people?" She's gonna- she's gonna nod her head. I imagine that Kaluna's freaking out in the background because they were not told that Bree was going to Lockford or that the werewolves had become an extra big problem. So they were sort of just losing their shit in the background like, "Oh fuck." Not because they pieced it together or anything, but just because Lockford and werewolves and they didn't know and they're worried.

I am- go ahead, sorry, I thought you were done. Go ahead. And then once Marek's like, "Oh my god, are you a fucking werewolf?" Kaluna's going to just freeze and look at the door. I just imagine them picking two huge steps back. Um, Santos is probably- is way too close to comfort to Marek and she's standing on her tiptoes kind of hanging as close to him as possible to see over his shoulder into the thing, even though by herself she couldn't see into it. She's still trying on her own. Okay. Just for character's sake, I mean, imagine what's going on in his head right now.

So he's all of a sudden having to think about, you know, so many that he cares about, that he has friends who care about. And all of this is happening and he's also just gone through being a werewolf for a very long time. This is something he still identifies with. This is opening up a lot of weird doors for him. He- Marek is going to step back from the door a little bit, kind of in thought. I'm just going to say, Than- Santos will immediately take his spot. Like, she will jump right back onto that door. Didn't we have a conversation earlier? Like Marek told Santos that he was a werewolf or used to be, right?

They had a heart to heart about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just going to kind of- she's going to jump back onto the door and then look back at Marek and be like, "Well, so was he, right? How did you fix it?" Marek's going to have a look on his face, like a kind of shock and not disappointed- it's almost pity, but it's weird. It's all wrapped up in so many emotions for him. Marek is going to, without looking at either one of them, Marek is going to say, "Both of you head up back to bed, please." And he's just going to be sort of staring- again, sort of staring, you know, soft focus at the door.

But he's kind of asking pretty bluntly for them- for Kaluna and for Thanatos to head back up. Thanatos is going to look like super upset at that, like her face is just going to fall. And she's like, "What- what are you talking about? We got to get her out. Do we see what they did to her?" And she's getting a little worked up now. Kaluna will sort of walk over to Marek and sort of- this whole time they've been like super just revved up because, you know, aspects. But they're going to look a little shell shocked, nowhere near like on Marek's level, but you know, still there.

And they'll sort of give him sort of a half hug if he doesn't move away. And then they'll go to sort of get Thanatos' shoulder and sort of very lightly give it a tug. Like, come on, let's go. She'll tug against that. She doesn't want to leave. Kaluna will get irritated now and just be like, "Come on, fucking-" Marek will just quickly sort of shoot a look, not even a dirty look, but just a look over at Thanatos. And just very kindly, but also with a lot of gravity, he's going to say, "Please, please follow Kaluna. Just go upstairs, please." Thanatos will immediately shake her head, still looking devastated.

Just- you can't just leave her like that. You have to get her out. And she's willing to jump down and attempt to open the door on her own. No, Marek's going to forcibly stop her, not hurt her in the process, but he's going to very much block the way. He's going to say, "I'm not leaving her here. She's going to be fine. But I'd like to talk to her, please. And you both need to get out of here. Please." Is he meeting Thanatos' eyes while he makes that promise? Yes. Her lower lip is quivering a little bit. Like, she is not okay. You promise? I promise. Believe it or not, she is in the safest place she could possibly be right now.

Shackles and all. She'll look to Kaluna, kind of like for confirmation. Kaluna's sort of staring at the door. I mean, their faces angle towards the door, just very clearly worried. Like, they clearly, like, they want to leave. Like, "Mmm." It's kind of like one of those looks like, "You know him better than I am. Is he telling the truth?" Even though obviously you'd side with him, but like, it's reassurance. Kaluna will sort of look at Thanatos and look back over at Marek, and they're clearly uneasy about it. And they'll sort of, "Do you think you need the knife?" Alright, Thanatos isn't going to be okay with that.

No, Marek's going to quickly try to- No, no, no, no, no. It's not that. I just want to be able to talk to her and I just- she needs as much space as she could possibly need right now. And I'm about the only other person anywhere around here that could probably talk to her and have things be okay. So, please. Kaluna will nod and they'll hold out their hand for Thanatos. It's less for Thanatos and more for them. Actually, Thanatos could kind of use that hand. She's very upset. And she'll take Kaluna's hand and kind of walk up, but she is definitely stopping halfway up those stairs and waiting.

Kaluna will give like a little tug. Just very much like, "Come on. Come on. I don't want to leave either, but we gotta." Okay, then she'll go out the rest of the way, but she's sitting on that top stair. She is sitting the fuck down. Kaluna will very quickly go back to their room and grab the silver dagger anyway and come back and join Thanatos. Wow. Safety first, guys. Kaluna's seen it. Thanatos has him. Yeah, that's- Thanatos sees a girl shackled on the floor. Kaluna would actually arm her up and then come back. I like the idea of just like this giant- not giant, but like big tree person in full armor next to this tiny girl in a white dress just sitting at the top of the stairs.

Full armor is a strong phrase for what Kaluna wears. But it is very much like, it's not really reassuring, I imagine. Just like, "Hold on. I'll be right back." And they come back fully armored with this dagger in hand like, "Don't worry. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be perfectly fine." He's got this. He's got this. Once that's all taken care of and sort of the hallway is clear, Merrick's gonna say, "Bree, I'm coming in." And he's gonna start to the door again. He's gonna start to mess with the door again. He's not saying- he's being gentle and he's just like, "Okay, I'm coming in." She's gonna stand up and...

How quickly would this motion be? He's not gonna do it like he's trying to be startling. He's just kind of being matter of fact like- More like this is happening. Yeah, look, I'm coming in, Bree. And he'll gently start to open the door. Let's put it this way. Merrick would do whatever was necessary knowing what it would be like to be on the other side of that. Right? So he's absolutely aware of what would be not cool. And he won't go past that line, but he's gonna try to be- he's gonna be trying to come in and he's gonna try to do it gently. I honestly don't think she would fight it after- after C'Loon and Thanatos walk away.

And Merrick is reassuring enough that I don't- I don't think she'd put up too much of a fight. Like, you could see that she's gonna stand, she's apprehensive, she's tense, but she's not gonna say anything. As he comes in, if that's the case, as he comes in he's gonna do it with very, you know, like, gestures that are very like, just coming in, you know, don't worry. Just- just- you know, he kind of stays- keeps his distance. He's not coming straight up to Bree or anything like that, but just kind of coming in the room. That's all. And he'll- he's gonna close the door.

He's not gonna leave it open. He's gonna actually close the door. Yeah, that's actually gonna make her relax just a tiny bit. Okay. Merrick's gonna find a place to sit that's, you know, out of the way, kept at a distance, but is comfortable and so that they can chat. After a beat, they left? Yeah, it's just you and me. I just figure we might be able to chat. Is Una with you? No. Una left a while back. With Julie, in fact, believe it or not. And we'll see her again, but she's not here now. She's gonna cast her eyes down. I don't know what to do, Merrick. Yeah. You remember me, right?

You know I've been through this. I know. How do you feel right now? I'm scared. I'm afraid to use my powers, 'cause what if I lose control and I turn into one of those things and I do to someone what was done in Lockford? Bree, I'm not gonna lie to you. There's a very good chance that that's exactly what you're gonna do. Do you know the only way that I was able to deal with it was to push it so far down that I basically withdrew from absolutely everything. I didn't change for a long time. It didn't take much when it did happen. The way I see it, I'm just gonna be honest with you.

You've got two choices. It's either obscurity or death. Unless you want to put everybody you care about in danger, that's what I did for a long time. I went into obscurity. I couldn't kill myself. I couldn't do it. I had my faith. Then I got angry. So I had my anger. But those are your two choices. And what about the seal and the witch and whatever the hell is coming? What do I do with that? What do you care about the most? Yourself? Or do you care about the rest of Theria? I don't want her to die, Merrick. You don't want who to die? Una, I don't. I don't want any of you to die, but I don't know what to do.

Merrick's gonna get a little bit closer. He's gonna sort of shuffle over and get not right up in her face close, but close enough that he's being warm and understanding, but without making her feel intruded upon. And Merrick's gonna say, "Brie, if you don't want to hurt her, and this is who you are now, I'm telling you because I know you can't be around her again. Not like this. I'm sorry, but you can't." There's gonna be a beat and she's gonna nod her head. Tell me what to do. Because if you think I should just... If it would be better if we just ended this now, then do it when I'm not a danger to anyone.

If you need this to happen, I'll kill you if you want. I understand these feelings. And part of me regrets not having done that to myself long, long ago. I can't tell you what to do, but I tell you that I probably am the only person who would help you if you needed it. It's not gonna be fun. I don't want you to die, but I don't know how to fix you. What if you can't stop what's coming without me? What if... What if the witch is right, and when the time comes, I'm not there? So you do care about something else other than yourself? I don't want to see anything bad happen to any of you.

That's not what I meant. I just... I know, I know. I'm just suggesting maybe there is a reason for you to think about this in terms of pushing it down and fighting through it. But I know it's not easy. I just want you to know what the alternatives are. I'm no good to anybody if I can't use my powers. I've tried it before, and I'm... I don't know how to help in any other way. I've never had to... I've never had to. I can tell you... I can tell you I searched for a long time for some way to keep what I was down. And the first time I ever found anything that could happen was the witch.

I don't want to go back to her. You know, I don't either. Not in a million years. There was one other thing that happened, I remember. I left for a while. Kaluna was pissed. I left for, I don't know, a couple of weeks. By myself. I was in the high metal forest. I did find some berries, so there's something that can help. But it's just minuscule compared to what you're carrying inside you right now. What I'm saying is, I don't want to give up on you, and I know you don't want to hurt anybody. You don't have a lot of choices right now, but maybe we can find a way.

We've got Tessia, you're already here, you're in the safest place you could possibly be. Maybe there's something we can do to get you through, and be of value, and use your skills. And then, if you need me to help you, I will. I'm not threatening you. I just understand what it feels like. Merrick, I want you to promise me that if at any point it looks like I'm not in control of myself at all, you'll kill me on the spot, okay? Merrick's going to get even closer at this point. I think he'll feel comfortable enough to do that, and not threatening enough. And he's going to put his hand on her hand.

And he's going to grab her hand with both of his hands. And he's going to say, "I asked someone to do the very same thing, and I needed to trust them implicitly to do that. So I'm honored that you would ask me that, and I promise you that I'll do what needs to be done, if it were to ever happen. Deal?" And she's going to nod her head. Deal. Good, because I think we still need you. And I don't want anything happening to you. And besides, Una would kick the shit out of me if I let something happen like that. And she is going to reach out and try to hug Merrick, but it's a little awkward with the chains.

He's going to, you know, awkwardly be able to hug back as best as he can with the restraints. "Hey, um, tell you what. This can't be comfortable. And if the shackles are supposed to protect you from others, now you've got me, right? Stick close, and you can trust me. I'll be the same thing as the protection that you've got right now. I'll be a room, I'll be shackles, whatever you need. You don't have to stay in a dungeon. Maybe you can sleep in a bed or get some real food or whatever it is you need. But this is not a way to exist. This is punishment. This is what I did for over a decade.

I might as well have been in a dungeon shackled to a wall. So I can't let you do that, alright? Can I get you out of this? Please?" Alright. Alright, let's go. Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the day. Bam. Damn, dude. Damn, Daniel. Back with the- I don't even know where that meme came from, by the way. It just kinda happened. I think it was a vine or something. I don't know. Probably. Dude, Jesus fucking Christ. You know, I have to admit, when you teased that she had a chance of showing up today, I actually didn't think it was gonna be for our session for some reason.

I thought we would run into her on the way there or something. Yeah, that was really good. Another fight! We were gonna fist fight Bree. Dude, Mac and I were doubting you so hard in the chat. We were like, "Marek, tell her about the witch! Just give her hope!" and you just weren't. Dude, that was really fucking good. And then it all turned around and it was like, "Dude, Jasper's way smarter than either of us." Also, probably the only person who would kill you. Thanks. For the lack of faith. The only person who could kill you. The way I think of it is that Kaluna would do that for Marek, but I don't know that Kaluna would do that for Bree because Kaluna and Marek's connection is different.

So I don't know. Well, I guess Kaluna would just kill Bree because, like, who fucking cares? It's a werewolf. Werewolves! Yeah, but I don't know. This is more of the compassionate kill than the "I wanna kill a werewolf." Oh, dude, Lamb Come Stop. Don't worry. This will all be in the feed. Obviously. This is an episode. We just recorded. Yeah, this is just a raw episode. Yeah. I just wanted to make sure that Bree knew that that was one option. I was scrolling through this chat. This is hilarious. Someone literally said, "Wow, I thought Theriathon was gonna be fun!" I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. That's my fault. It's beautiful. That was fucked up. Oh, man. Yeah, people are calling me a villain. Almost becoming the villain here. No way, man. I'm just trying to get Bree to the right place. No, that was really, really... You led her yourself. That was good. That was a good job. That was really good. Well, thanks. We were all bamboozled. I gotta look at the chat here. I don't know what... Oh, man. Anyway. I really need a break after this. That was intense. Oh, man. Hey, everybody. This is Jasper from Group 3. I hope that you enjoyed that episode and that we didn't have a lot of combat and/or die.

Importantly, a couple things you need to know. First of all, you should definitely go to our website, dandrpodcast.com. That's where it's gonna be the portal, the hub of absolutely everything. And honestly, you need to go check us out on iTunes from there. You need to go check us out on Patreon from there. That's the stuff that keeps us moving along and keeps the lights on and keeps things going. So please, if you don't mind, that would be fantastic. See you next time. next time.