Teeth and Claws

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Hey guys, this is Brianna, and I only have two things to talk to you about this time, so please listen, it's going to be super f***ing quick. First of all, The Bahamut is still up for another five days after this comes out. The Bahamut figurine on Kickstarter is still up. It's not doing great, we really want this one to succeed, but it isn't looking like it's going to, so if you guys could go support this guy, that would mean the world to us.

He is awesome, he has made this great figurine that I think a lot of people would really, really like if you guys just go check it out. Look up Bahamut on Kickstarter, and just check it out because it is f***ing gorgeous. Beyond that, I'd also like to point out that this episode is a little bit short, and I think you guys have noticed that already, you've clicked it and you're like, "What, like an hour? What the hell?" For a little while there, we only had one team that was able to play, because group one, you guys are going to hear about that later, group two, James just had his second child, and group three, Mac went to Disney World, so I mean, f*** Mac.

But, for a while there, we only could rely on group four, and they pulled it out, and they were able to get a game in. It had to be quick, but we hope you guys enjoy it anyway, because we think they did a fantastic f***ing job. And so, yeah, listen to that, and have a great week. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table. Start with Karen. Hi, I'm Karen, I play Irina Stonebreaker, a mole paladin. And Kira. Hi, I'm Kira, I play Zoya Rook, a dwarf cleric. And Valerie. Hi, I'm Valerie, and I play Sorg Raywing, the halfling ranger.

And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa, and I play Eloraf Beastinger, the halfling barbarian. So, last time we sat down, you guys were in Astarhold, you met with the mayor, the new mayor of Astarhold, and you told Jadzi about everything that's been going on, and gave her a little warning about what was happening with Seraph, and Aurra, and the drow in Fairbank. After that, you guys split, and of the three paths that you could take, you decided to head up into the mountains. Right in between the Blackrock Mountains and Blistering Peaks, you figured that would be the safest route.

That's a good idea, guys. Well, okay. Safe is a relative term in Theria. It's not. Turned out there was a new Vol Patrol up there looking to maybe get some new recruits, and sadly, you were the first people to wander through the little ambush spot. As a result, Zoya and Eloraf--no, I'm sorry, Sora and Eloraf fell into a pitted hole, and their horse is still at the bottom of that. And that is not good. We're going to get to that in just a moment, but the rest of the ambush did not go as planned as you guys managed to fight them off, and congratulations to that.

Yay. Because you do not want to be--you don't want to be in their custody. That's not a good place. Not a good place to be. How about we pick up right after the ambush, though? How's about we jump right to this last--the slave master getting stabbed, just done--Sora was the last one to get a finishing cut on him, and Erina was choking him, basically, for lack of a better term. Yeah. He died friendless and alone and scared, so let's pick up right there. What would be the first thing the party wants to do after this, like after this ambush? Because this only lasts for a couple of minutes.

The fighting itself is probably three, four, five minutes long, something like that, and then kind of silence, except for the rain coming down and stuff. Sora would--right after the guy dies, Sora would drop to her knees, because she's very, very hurt. At which point, Zoya would offer to come and help you? Yes. Do you need some healing, Sora? Can I help you? Yeah, that would actually be great. Erina's actually going to turn--well, she's going to be really heavy and just staring down at the master slaver's body for a second, and then she's going to turn pretty abruptly over to Elrath.

Are you feeling okay? Because you got hit with that powder, and that's not good stuff. How many fingers am I holding up? Well, that's a rude one. I appreciate it if you don't give that one to me. But no, I feel okay. I mean, I'm just a little tired from swinging, but no, I'm good. That fucking net, though, like, I could not get hit by nets anymore, and that'd be like fucking great. Yeah, that thing's a piece of work. Are you okay? Because you had that guy pinned up for a while. Yeah, I'm okay. I didn't expect to see these guys so close to the city. I'm surprised.

Like, good surprised or bad surprised? I don't really know. I didn't think that I'd ever run into them, and the fact that they've been so close to Esterholt this whole time has me a little worried, but I don't know. Do you know? Do I know this one specifically, Jason? Not this one specifically, no, but you definitely know where they come from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. No, not these ones, but they are N'uval, and I know about N'uval. Let me ask, okay, really quickly, Sora and Zoya would be an earshot of this. Elrath, Zoya, Sora, do me a favor, run a history check on the N'uval.

Cool. Oh, yes, I know everything about the fucking N'uval! Nice. Oh my god. Wow, and none of you are trained in history and all. Not a book learning group. Okay, cool. Well, okay, Zoya wouldn't know a ton about the N'uval, except for the fact that they're slavers. Sora would know a little bit more in that they're a very large community of slavers. They're easily the largest on the mainland, maybe even in the world, and Elrath would know just a little bit more than that. She would know that they come from Bandit's Rest, predominantly, that's where their headquarters is, their home base, that they pretty much owned Durn Hollow up until recently, and things have changed there, so maybe that's forcing them to branch out and try new things and such.

They love moles. Love moles. They usually try to enslave them from birth. They're kind of really, really hardy humans. They're part dwarf, part human, so it is a very sought-after and desirable type of slave now. Gonna make me blush, J'hoon. Well, they'll take what they can get, but there are people who... A lot of them are used for straight-up hard labor and stuff like that. When people buy a slave, they usually use them either for hard labor or fighting. Some people use roosters for cockfights. That's what people use for slaves. If you're getting ready for a big tournament or something, and you want to grab a bunch of slaves, that's where you go.

You go to the new vault, or you take criminals and you use them as indentured servants, that type of thing. It's like, well, if you win, you get your freedom. Otherwise, you can rot in prison forever. It's up to you. But yeah, the new vault don't really have any policy like that. There's no way to earn back your freedom once you're in with them. So would I be able to put maybe two and two together? Or is that like an insight or something? Give me an insight roll. Oh, great. Yeah. Because you'd definitely be able to... It's like, wait, you're a mole. You'd definitely know that, but...

That's not bad. I'd say... Okay, you fought with Arena a few times. Mm-hmm. Nothing has seemed that personal to Arena in combat before. Ah. Okay. Oh, so... Oh. Well, that sucks. I'm glad they're dead. Too bad you couldn't kill them, though. I think it's better that Sora got that kill. Oh, and hey. Their minions died by, you know, swarms of bees. At least it's not pleasant. Oh my god! That was the coolest thing I've ever seen! Oh my god. Did you guys see those fucking bees? Yeah, we saw the bees. Oh my god. I was just down in that pit and I was like, "Ugh, I need to climb up," and then it was like, "Nope, I need to stay away from those fucking bees for a minute." Damn, that was cool.

I had no idea it would work, but I'm really glad it did. Proud of you. It couldn't have been used on nicer people. So... I hate to bring down the mood. You're all gonna hear the noise of the horse in this hole. No! No, no, no, no! I thought it was already dead. It's dying. It's definitely dying. Another couple of seconds and it'll be dead. I mean, you can... I mean, you can either leave it or... The problem is, either way you guys are down to one horse. Hmm. I mean, we... Is there any way we can rescue the horse? Do we have any way? I could try and heal it. Would it be able to get out of the pit if I heal it?

Oh, okay. Let me paint a picture. I really hate to do this. Please don't make the horse die horribly. It's a large... it's a large hole. About 10 by 10, right? And essentially there's kind of like sharpened sticks at the base of it kind of spread out. And what it's meant to do is catch... well, catch people, but horses, it's equally... it's equally as effective, essentially, so it's sort of laying crumbled at the bottom of this thing with a bunch of sharpened sticks shoved through it. So, short of like some sort of pulley system and everything, I mean, by the... even if you did get it out, like even if you were strong enough to lift a fucking horse 10 feet up, I mean, and heal it, I mean, it would involve some sort of pulley system or something.

You might not have that kind of time. Do you guys want me to go? I can... I can make him stop. Yeah, we can't let it suffer. Okay. Do you want me to go with you? No. I can do it. It was our horse, so I can do it. Just give me a minute. And she'll climb down in that hole and walk over to the horse and she'll probably like put a hand on it and she'll be like, "Thank you for being a good horse friend." And she'll try to do it as quickly as possible, I guess. I don't know how she would do it other than... Yeah, there's no need to roleplay this out. Thank you. There's no check to roll.

There's no... Yeah. God, when editing the last episode, it's like, "Should I put a sound of..." No, that's not... too mean. Too mean. Let's not do that. Okay, that unpleasantness is done. Do you guys want to continue on or is this some place to make camp for the evening? Do we really want to make camp by the corpses? Well, not exactly this place. Speaking of, should we loot the corpses? That's what I was just going to ask Jason. I want to go through this master slaver's pockets. You sure can. We should do it for all of them just to be on the safe side. Absolutely.

Let's do some looting here. All right, so among the possessions you find among these slavers, a lot of restraints, a lot of shackles, things like that. You're also going to find marching orders and this is from Bandit's Rest itself. They are out exactly pretty much like what you thought was happening. They're trying to place themselves in really deserted areas, some place where they probably saw you coming miles before you got there. Because up here perched on the mountain, they could look down the path and see and it would be very difficult for you to spot them.

So they had plenty of time to get ready for you. And essentially what it's saying is just grab people, bring them back and we'll take care of them there. And that is exactly where you guys would have been heading if you were to be captured. So good on you for not being captured. Yay. You are also going to find a pile of gold. Yes. Something a Duval will do is barter, if they can't outright fight someone, what they'll do is they'll barter people, the prisoners and things like that, to take them into their custody. If they look like they'd be decent fighters or someone strong, hardy, something like that.

Someone who could stand up to the elements like heat. Oh man, mining is not a pleasant job. So yeah, if you can sweat your ass off in a cave all day and not die, that's great for them. So they'll definitely trans-coup people like that up. So they will try and buy people straight up. So you're going to find 1000 gold. Oh. Totalled. Shit. So you guys can split that however you want and we'll update PDFs accordingly. So any indication of these marching orders if there is like more Duval hanging around? Actually, funny you should ask. It's apparent that they've been placed in several spots.

This is the furthest. This party has been sent the furthest, but there is mention of a party in between Blistering Peaks and Hazon, like right around in Dragon's Reach. So between Donhurst and Lockford. Okay. And one more south of Whiteheadge. Really? Mm-hmm. Should we just hunt them all down and kill them all? Well, those are the opposite way of what we're going. Yeah. We could tell the Overwatch when we get there and then they could probably, they might be like, "Hey, go deal with that." And we'll be like, "Awesome!" We just came from that way, but cool.

Yeah, no kidding. We don't mind taking down slavers. And then I had to have one more question. Okay, hit me. There's no more of that powder on any of them? That looked to be the last of it. Okay. Like it was like a, you know, he had enough for one it looked like. Okay. Cool. So it is, it is, it is nighttime now, just to let you know. And you will be crossing over to the, to the eighth of Thorim pretty soon. So it'll be, it's up to you if you'd like to press on or not. We have one horse and it's dark. Is there any place around that looks like it'd be a good little like outcrop?

Well, why don't you go ahead and give me a nature check? Okay. Sure. Should all of us do it? Maybe. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Ooh, look at that. I've got a decent nature. So, Sora and I can figure this shit out. Oh, absolutely. Yes. First of all, getting out of the elements is a good thing to do because it is raining. Again, you guys have one horse. It's raining. You're surrounded by corpses. A little further up the way here into the, into the mountains themselves, there's going to be sort of the way the, sort of the way the mountain is shaped. It's going to be able to kind of repel some of this rain and it's almost a waterfall.

It's raining so intensely and it's just sort of like sloped down and it kind of gathers the rain and it's, it's, but there is like kind of a natural outcropping. So you can kind of go in there and it's not quite a cave. It's just sort of this, this hollowed out chunk of mountains. So you can, you can definitely make camp right there. Cool. And kind of set up a fire and get warm. Would that be? It's big enough for our living horse, isn't it? Hmm? Oh yes. Yeah. Yeah. Your horse can fit in there too. It's a pretty big, this is probably like, it's almost, it's almost like a dome type of thing.

It's kind of like, it's like someone reached in and scooped out like a circular, like a thing. So it's like a good like 25 feet in any direction once you get in there. It's nice and spacious. Okay. Just wanted to make sure we didn't have to do any more animal cruelty in the episode. No. No. I'm going to get emails. I already know I'm going to get emails, but yeah. Oh god. Would that nature check have, I guess, let them check to see whether or not the cave was made by somebody? Ooh, what an interesting question. This looks natural. It's not literally like a giant reached in and...

Or like goblins. Ooh, yeah. This also doesn't appear to have any outlets. Like no little like, no little cavern walls or something with holes that things can crawl out in the middle of the night and attack you. This looks like, I mean, as, as you know, natural places go, this looks pretty safe. Okay. Not a one. Sorry. How's the wifi? Abysmal. Oh my god. That's the one thing. So if you guys would rather just like be dead, like I get it. Like there's no wifi though. I mean my DS is like almost dead, so. Ugh. I have a story about that. Anyway. Sorry, I was listening to our episode last week and you were talking about goblins and stuff and I was like, ugh.

One day. One day people will find them. I assume, sorry, and I would then point that out. It's like, that looks like it might be a safe place for us to camp for the night. Let's do it. Alright. So let's set up a campfire here. Oh, that's neat. So you got your campfire going. It's nice and warm. Because again, it's, we got, we got a little seasonal transition here and it's not going to be too much longer before rain stops and it's just ice and sleet and snow. Like it's not going to be too much longer. That is, that is so not pleasant to hike in. But that's a problem for future group four.

Not current group four. Or maybe it won't be a problem. Who knows? Maybe it won't. Maybe it'll be a problem for the people who have to dig a hole. Ah. So is there anything you guys would like to do while you're camping out here or do you want to just fast forward? Zoe would take a moment to go off and, you know, pray and say thank you to Evandra for their luck in surviving their encounter with the slavers. That makes total sense. I think Irina would like just be sitting there just staring at the marching orders for the nouvalle. Just like, almost looks like she's memorizing it.

Just staring very intently at this piece of paper. What would Sora be doing? I think Sora's gonna go over and sit by Irina. She's also very very sad about this horse. But she's gonna sit down next to Irina and just say, "So you were a slave?" Yeah. A while ago. Thought that I had left that behind me. How did you escape? I didn't really. I was left. They thought that I was dead. And they didn't bother to try to help me. And I did almost die. But... Paladins. They found me. And what I said to Craig was true as I owe them my life. What happened? Why would they think that you were dead?

Well, there was an ambush. Something similar to the lines of what just happened for us. And, actually I almost lost my arm. And, uh, I don't... They checked, I think. I don't really know. I was mostly unconscious. All I know is I was dying and they left me. It's not something that I'm upset over. What I've got now is way better than what I've ever had. Sarah's going to kind of smile a little bit and nod at that. So... How did you become a slave? Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a mole. And, uh, slavery is very much like my race. We are hardy and we hit hard.

And so, um, I was actually born into this. I told you guys that I came from Durnhollow. And for a while, the new vol ran Durnhollow. I was born there and pretty much raised from the start to be a fighter. And when I became old enough, they took me from Durnhollow. I'm sorry that that happened to you. Did they make you fight a lot? Is that why you hit so hard and stuff? I fought a lot, yeah. I was basically the model for what they were selling. I was a showpiece. Did they ever make you fight, like, people? Or was it just, like, things and animals and monsters?

It was both. So, in Vanisrest, in the main camp, there's this pit and they like to bet and watch people fight each other. I was in there a lot. Lots of ass. Yes, ass indeed. But you don't mind fighting with us, though, right? There's a difference between being forced to murder somebody and defending yourself. Ah. Okay. 'Cause I like fighting with you, and I think that we all fight real good together, so I'm glad. I'm glad to have found this, 'cause I've been trying to make up for the things that I did. I know they weren't exactly my fault, but I still feel really bad for the people I've killed.

You're making up for it, though. You're doing what you can. I'm trying. You're good. Should've smiled at you a little bit. You guys are too nice. We're lucky to have you. Stop it. You guys gonna get some sleep? Yeah. Do we need a watch, or...? Yeah, I'll take first watch. Okay, so we'll just do regular watch rotation. So here's what's gonna happen. You guys are gonna sleep clean through the night, taking watch. Everything's gonna end up okay. And you will wake up, and it is the 8th of Thorim, as of now. I'm guessing you are gonna pretty much get back on the road, but...

I don't know if you wanna take turns just sort of, like, walking the horse or whatever, 'cause there's four of you, and you are not all gonna fit on that thing. I would assume we'd probably just take turns walking with the horse. Alright. So you have a horse, but yeah. You're gonna need more. Alright, who wants to do me a favor and roll a flat D20? This goes. Me! I'll do it. Lisa will do it. Alright. Go Lisa. I like your chutzpah. Yes. Sorry, I didn't know how to react to that, apparently. It's lucky! I thought it was a 1 at first. I did too. And I got really sad.

But for those of you listening at home, that's a 7. That's why it's lucky. Yes. And it could totally be worst. Tabletop, guys. Yes. Okay. There were finger guns that went with it when I was like, "Hey, lucky!" But you couldn't see it, and I was like, "Oh, okay." Oh boy. Um, hmm. Would you guys like some good news? Sure. Yes please. Okay. In favor of good news. Alright. So I'll... I have a question. How far away from Esterhold did we get? Before you do that. Um, well, okay. Firstly, if you were to look at the map, right? You were smack dab in the mountains. Like, you guys, the only reason it took so long is because it's rocky terrain, it's a winding path, all that stuff.

And weather wasn't helping either. And, you know, ambush. That old sheen day. That old thing. Chestnut. That sword. We're gonna have you jump ahead to the fork in the road near Betrayal Ridge. Cool. Okay. So you've been on the road for hours now. It's afternoon. You're out of the mountains, so that's good. You don't have to worry about things like goblins and drakes and hill giants and things. That's cool. I would like everyone to do me a favor and roll a perception check. This is gonna be good, guys. Hey! Yes! A solid nine. A solid nine. Total. Total. Oh, golly. Okay.

That's cool. We can work with that. You don't have to be nice, Jason. I'm trying to be nice. Here's what we're gonna do. You guys are going to see the following. Specifically, Zoya, Elarath, and Sora are gonna see the following. Oh, fuck you too. So you guys are out walking your horse as an adventuring party does. And... let me give you guys an extended rest really quick because you did sleep. I picked up a handful of grass and I'm feeding it to the horse as we walk. That's what I'm doing. Aw! So you're sweet. That's good. Well, what you're gonna see is something a bit odd.

So you guys are gonna see two people. One looks to be a really... like an average looking guy, like a human, except fucking bronze. Like tanned. Like this dude tans. Does he lift though? He works out. See, not so much upper body, but we're talking big quads. Like we're talking legs. Ah! Leg press bodays! Do you squat? Um, the important thing about this guy is he is running like a motherfucker toward you. Oh. Okay. And there's gonna be a gnome in his backpack. Now, if you were worried at all that these two individuals were attacking you, that fear is laid to rest when you look several yards behind them... and see the largest fucking dire bear any of you have ever laid your eyes on.

Oh, holy Jesus Christ. Yeah, giving chase. This thing, if it were to stand, like stand on its hind legs and raise up, this thing is easily 12 or 13 feet tall. Good God! This is a huge animal. This is massive. We're talking hundreds of pounds and it is barreling right toward these two. Can I try and cast something? What do you got in mind? I was thinking of casting fear. It's the fear one. Which... there we go. I can fucking scroll, I promise. Cause fear. Okay. And what that does is, if it hits, the target is compelled to just move as far away from me as it possibly can.

Okay. So it would basically turn tail and run the other way. Okay. You wanna see if that works? Yes, please. Alright. Let's... okay. So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna... let's get you guys a map. Still feeding the horse. Still feeding the horse. Would the party say anything? Like, um, would anybody say anything is a question I have. Just leave, Arena. Jesus fully avandra'd now. Remember how we almost left Zoya on the side of the road? Like, that's a bear. There is a bear. There is a bear. Jesus Christ. Like, oh my god. There is a bear. Holy shit. There is a bear.

Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear. Oh damn, son. That's a big bear. Holy shit. That's your bear. Now, here's the thing. What's the range on this spell? Range on the spell is actually not too terrible, but the map is currently blocking my view. So just a moment. Well, that's no good. I'm not used to having this many players on the board, so I gotta shrink the map a bit. Alright, so it's actually range ten. So it's not too terrible. So, okay. Let's do this. Let's... okay. Would this be a thing where you're gonna tell the party, okay, everybody hold your fire. I've got a plan.

Alright, guys, just stay behind me for a moment. I'm gonna try something. No, seriously, just back me up, but just wait a moment and let me try something. Okay. Okay. Let's... oh man. Okay. -Abelan. -Yes. Yes. I'm imagining you're continuing to run toward the party. Abelan is screaming, waving his hands like, "Help me! Help!" He's got it just wailing like, "Ahh! Help!" Okay. Ephin is screaming at him, "That's what you wanted us to fight? Really? Move it, Thunder Thighs!" -Yes. -I'm rotting. Well, here's what's gonna happen. I would imagine Zoe's gonna step forward just a bit.

-Yes. -Stop me if I'm wrong. Abelan and Ephin are going to continue to run. -Oh, we're booking it. -Okay. I would imagine... here's what's gonna happen. I would imagine at a certain point they're gonna break just a bit to the right here. And this bear is gonna close the gap behind them and get right here, continuing to barrel forward. This is a... again, this is a freight train of an animal. And I'm gonna let you try to get an attack off here, Zoya. I'm totally gonna try. Like, you never know. You never fuckin' know. Did you just pun at me? I did. I did. That was a pretty dank pun.

I like that one. I did. I regret nothing. You can kill me now. Alrighty. Did you just pun when there's a bear on this table? It was a bear pun. For those of you at home... Someone I thought was my friend just posted "Continue to 'bear-roll' towards them" in the chat. Wow. That person's funny as fuck. Go ahead, Zoya. Target the bear. That is gonna miss. Shit! I was so hopeful. Do we have time to talk? No, no. Okay, it didn't work. It didn't work. So, okay, let's paint a picture. Just turns around them. Back to the bear. Let's paint a picture. So this bear is just racing.

It is barreling towards you guys. Stop. Bear-reeling. Um, these... Okay. The human and the gnome in his backpack are gonna break right just 'cause Zoya steps forward. This smaller dwarf woman is gonna step forward. I imagine like fucking shirt sleeves are being raised up. I've got it. Come on. Like, I totally have this shit. I've got it. At what point during the casting process? Holding the staff out and then like, "Oh, holy shit. No, no, it's not working. Abort, abort." Like, there's like a little fizzle from the staff. It does not do what it's supposed to do.

And she's just going to like wide-eyed stare at it and go, "Oh no. This was a mistake. This was a mistake." And turn around and just like, run. I would say this bear would get another five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five feet before you realize that it didn't work. What I'm gonna ask... I'm gonna ask everybody on the table, please roll initiative. I would like to use begin the hunt if you're rolling initiative. Do I have enough time to get... like, kind of swap places with Zoya and throw off a divine challenge? I would say no. Just because... Everyone stand back.

I got this. That's the only reason. Damn, Zoya. Where was that fucking roll when I... Almost. Thank Christ. Yeah. For the lifters, I just rolled a crit on my initiative. Oh, I'm sorry. Which I don't need. You said you wanted to use begin the hunt, Zach. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. What does that do? It gives me a plus two to the initiative check, and I can use Hunter's Quarry immediately. And I get a plus two to attack rolls versus my Quarry, which is gonna be this bear, of course. I would hope. So if you want to go down to the modifier at the bottom of the screen on the left, just tick that up twice and then roll your initiative.

Tick that twice. Oh boy. Okay, here we go. Zoya, your turn. Alright, so... I... my thing failed. It failed really badly. I am now slightly panicked. I am going to fucking run. I am going to use my movement. I can move, I think, five spaces. So I am going to... I'm out of map. Oh, yeah. Hold on. Let me move everybody... hold on a second. Move us all a little to the right. To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right. No one quotes the Cupid Shuffle, Karen. Come on, Karen. I did, and I'm not ashamed. Well, you're wrong. Maybe a little bit. This is a safe space, Karen.

We have no shame. No, it's not. It's absolutely not. That was vicious. She will tear me apart. I will. You're totally not abiding by the rules of the safe space. I assume we just had... yeah, no. That's not ever happened. Oh, yeah, we just talked. Alright, so back to what I was doing. So I am going to move five spots... running as quickly as I can... behind the party. And I will not feel guilty about this because I did warn them that, "Holy shit, it did not work. Run." And... my move... that should be it. And then, once I am behind... Once I am behind the slightly more armed party members, I am going to cast something called Shield of Faith, which actually is a close first five, so it's going to target all of us who are right here.

Okay. Sweet. Jason, would you mind drawing the burst for me? Not a problem. Thank you. I am so sorry. I can never see it work. No. That's okay. And... So that's going to give everyone a plus two bonus to their AC until the end of the encounter. Nice. And it doesn't give me anything to roll it, so... Hold on one sec here. I'm not good at doing things, so you have to input a lot of powers. Shh! Valerie, I was hoping it meant I just didn't have to roll. I just say I cast and that's good enough. Let's read it real quick. We don't have to roll, but you have to put a thing on all of us.

There's not a little zombie guy next to it at all? Yes. That part is there, so I can do the little zombie guy on... Oh yeah. And that's it, I'm pretty sure. That's all there is, I think. You just target us and then press the zombie guy. That's awesome. That's what I have to do for my Paladin's Circle, or Sacred Circle, or something like that. That thingy. And I am so sorry for our little gnome and human person, but you guys are just outside of my range. You should run faster! I mean, we're not taking your party anyway, so you don't have to take care of us. We're not your responsibility.

You're not letting them die, so that's cool. We're trying. Okay. And with that, I am actually finished with my turn. So, armed person, take it away. So, Zoya stands at the front of this party, rolls her sleeves up, and starts to cast. That does nothing, it's like "Shit, shit, shit!" and starts running backward. Gets behind the party, and you guys are just battening down the hatches now. It's like, "Oh, this is not working." And you're watching this wall of a creature run toward the party. And I imagine you're just getting ready. So, Zora, your turn. Okay, so, Zoya ran.

So, Zora will also run back as far away as possible. One, two, three, four, five, six... We can shoot through party members, right? Absolutely. I'll fucking duck. Yes. It doesn't really... Eleven, twelve, thirteen, yeah, I'm fine. Okay, cool. So, I am going to do a careful attack on the Dire Bear. Hunter's Quarry is also on him. And let's get this ball rolling. Alright. Hey, that'll hit. Yay, almost a crit! And damage is this one. That is eleven damage. And Hunter's Quarry, another three, that's fourteen damage. Nice. And that will be my turn. Okay. And that'll bring up Avalon.

Nope, sorry, Arena. Yeah, I did it. I did it, sorry. Should I not do it? It's fine either way. I'm just used to doing it, so it's like, "Wait, that doesn't make sense." Okay, then I can have you do it, that's okay. Okay, that's cool. Arena, your turn. Cool. I am going to actually move forward a step. And I am going to do a Divine Challenge against this bear. Oh, actually, what's the range on that? I don't think it matters. Close-bust five, okay, that's close enough. Actually, you're just outside of it. Oh, okay, so I'll move forward one more step. Perfect. And do Divine Challenge.

Mark, that's what that does? Yep. So I'm just marking it, and he has to attack me, or he takes damage when he doesn't. Yep, if you're standing at the front when he's coming, I don't think that's going to be a problem. I know, but I just want to make sure. I'm going to run right past you. And then I'm just going to attack it with my Dazzling Flare. Wait, hold on. Okay. Take that back, because I am not close enough to do that. Oh, okay. All my shit is fucking not ranged at all. Well, you're a tank. So I'm just going to stand there, and I'm going to challenge this fucking bear, and that's it, that's all I'm doing.

So you use a shield, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm just standing there like... Yeah, you're just squaring yourself up, getting ready for this fucking thing coming. It's like, come on, fucker. I imagine. Yeah. Avalon, your turn. Okay, first thing Avalon's going to do, he's going to look at Anthony, just like, with the, "Are we doing this? Is this what you want? Are we going to do this? Are we going to help them?" See what she says. He's going to look at you, look at the bear, look back at you, and then look at the people surrounding that have come to help and go, "Fine, let's do this." He's going to smile real hard and be like, "Alright, hold on." And then he's going to pop Skirmishing Stance.

Then he is going to run towards the bear with Toppling Rush and target Dazz, attack. Anthony's still in the backpack. Yeah, she's still strapped in there. Yep. Great. That seems like a dangerous place to be. I mean, she's behind me, so I don't think it's that bad. So, that wasn't technically targeting the bear at that time. You're fine now. That's going to hit the bear. Okay. Whoo, 27 damage to the bear. Then I have my Hunter's Quarry and my Skirmishing Stance if that was four squares. I'm not sure. Yeah. Cool. So that's another eight damage with those two. So that is gorgeous.

Now, you use a broadsword, right? Yes. So you are going to slice into this bear. Let's see here. This is interesting. All right, you are going to slice into this bear, and it's the bear's turn. Oh boy. This bear's not going to break stride. Uh, do I get an opportunity attack? You will, but he is going to barrel straight through you to get to arena. Fucking bring it. So essentially, let's do this, because this is going to be... Oh man. Oh shit. Come at me, bro. So any damage that Avalon takes, Ephany's going to take half of that. Dude, let me out of the pack. Avalon just like straps it on tighter.

Dude, no, let me down. I want to run. Oh my god. Okay, so this freight train is moving toward arena, and I imagine you're just like swinging into it, and you're just going to cleave into it. Most people would expect, like, okay, if you cleave into something like that with a broadsword, it's going to stumble back or something. This bear does not break stride. It definitely cut into the bear, it definitely hurt the bear, but momentum just keeps going. Hundreds of pounds of bear is still heading for arena, so he is going to... He's going to attack Avalon with just this charging, like, this bull charge thing.

Twenty-six. And that is to your AC. So that'll hit. Definitely. Twenty-eight damage. So that means Ephany gets fourteen. So let's do that. Boom. We're going to continue, so do me a favor, Avalon, do me a favor and get an opportunity to attack against that bear. Get you some bear. Is that just a melee basic attack? Just a melee basic attack. Good. Why is that not counting against bear? Hold on, I have targeted... No, it's just that... Yeah, try it again. Like, I'm counting that roll. Yeah, it's not... That's really strange. Well, whatever. That does hit, so have at it.

There we go. That is thirteen damage to bear. Nice. Bear's going to continue through you two and get to arena. And it is going to raise up and tower over her. Like, this thing blocks out the sun directly in front of arena. And it is going to try and maw her. So it is going to claw at her twice, and then at the end of it, if both of these strikes hit, it is going to grab her. So, everyone fingers crossed. Claw number one. That's gonna hit. Jesus Christ. Claw number two. That's gonna hit. No, no, that shouldn't hit because I have a plus two to my AC. Oh, wait, it is twenty-seven.

Never mind. Okay. So it does hit. Just barely, but it hits. Just barely, yes. So this bear... I love it. Let me get my hands on Sora. Oh my god. So many bear puns. So little time. Does John just do everyone? He just keeps running. All the way to the back. It's like, you know what? No, I don't want to hold this one. You! It's just points. It's tons of points. It did one claw. It's like, "Mmm." This bear is going to raise up onto his haunches and just kind of roar and come down with its full weight on its paw twice. And it's going to hit once against Arena's shield and do twenty-nine damage.

Arena's gonna recoil, get her shield up just in time to catch another one. Twenty-five more damage to Arena. That is fifty-four damage. And he is going to grab her. Ow! Karen! If Karen dies... That would be unbearable. Ahhhhh! Bad. Can't even be bad. Don't worry, Karen. When it is my turn, I'm going to help you. Ewwww! That'll bring up Ephany. Okay, I am going to drop my scold's aura as a minor action. Jason, are you okay to do that for me? I sure am. What's the aura? How big? Aura five. Oh, good lord. Okay, so this is another sizable... Boop. So, for that twice per encounter but only once per turn, you or any ally in the aura can use a minor action to spend a healing surge and regain one d6 additional hit points.

Does that sound like something you'd like to do, Arena? Yes, please. Do me a favor, Ephany. Roll a one d6. Okay. And I'm getting a healing surge? Yep. Cool. Okay. Well, that's a plus one. That's okay. Sorry. I don't think... Still bloody, but it's alright. Let's roll a six. Bear hits hard. Ow! Like, I feel that here. What else is Ephany gonna do? Am I too close for a ranged basic? Yes. Yeah. Unless you hopped out of the backpack. I think... Can I hop out of the backpack and then do a ranged basic attack? You sure can. So, like, if you were to, let's say, hop out of the backpack and back up to here.

Yep, please. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Ooh. That is gonna miss. Okay. Anything else? Ah, no. That's it. Alright. Elorath! Okay. So, her minor action, I'm going to activate the dual threat gauntlets. Okay. So that anytime, let's see, flanking gets an extra extra bonus. Okay. Then she's going to move six, crossing kind of by this stump. So she's not moving adjacent and she will end up here. Flanking. Is that flanking? No. Aw, damn. You have to draw a line straight through the enemy. Okay. One, two, three, four, five, six. That's gotta be directly across. Oh! Oh! Which will get you an opportunity attack.

Okay. Well then, for now, she'll just... Okay. She'll move there. Okay. Okay. Apologies. I was like, "It's so big! That's flanking!" And it's general orbit. Okay. And then she will use Roaring Challenge. So you're both going to challenge this thing? Yes. Okay. How does that work? The bear will be very confused. It hurt itself in the confusion. Okay. I do have a question after this, after I go for this. Because it says I get to make a secondary attack, it's a blast three. Mm-hmm. Does it have to be a different creep? Because it says, "Each enemy in the blast." So technically the bear would be in the blast, so could I attack it a second time?

Or would it need to be a different target? Let me read the power. What's the power? Which one? Roaring Challenge? Okay. Roaring Challenge. Oh, it does say secondary target. Secondary target. Yeah, it has to be. Yep. Secondary target. Each enemy. Yep. Okay. Well then. She'll still probably use it then. Just scream into the void? Oh, actually no. She'll use Great Shout instead then. Still screaming into the void. So we'll do that one instead. Apologies. No. Great Shout. Here we go. Yay! Oh, that'll hit. Yeah! Yes! Okay. Alright, so damage first. Okay. Oof, 20 damage to the bear. Nice.

And then there is an effect where now he takes a penalty to his attack rolls on his next turn. And since that was a primal power, I am now in the Berserker's Fury, so any melee basic attacks and some of my powers do extra damage. Gorgeous. Anything else? Nope, that is my turn. Alright. Zoya, your turn. Alright, so I am all set and what I'm going to be doing is I am going to be moving closer to the bear. Not too close, but close enough that I can make my next attack, which is going to be a Close Blast 5, Jason. Can you make the blast for me? I'm so sorry. Okay.

Alright. Okay, so we can just move this one because the other thing happened already. Yep, that one's done. Close, this is a Close Blast 5 or Burst? Close Blast. We can just get rid of this one. Remove that. No, I need my little cone. Okay, I'll give you a cone. I am going to put the bear in a cone of fucking shame, god damn it. Yeah! Shame that bear. Well, yes. Boom. There you go. Alright, so let's get that bear. You will be shamed. You got this. Ugh, that's a miss. No, no, no, no. Unlucky. Do I at least get one for like, thinking speedy, roleplaying, anything? I'll, okay, let's see.

Yeah, I'll give you that because you had your stuff ready to go and that is versus what? It is. For... nope. Ugh, god damn it. This is a fortified bear. Fuck you, bear. Sorry, bear. So, I'm actually going to Action Point then. Okay. And since that didn't work, I am going to try something else. I'm actually going to write a denunciation. Okay. This is going to be a Wisdom versus Will. So, I'm really going to hope this works. Okay. Alright. Ugh. No! Oh no. No! I am so sorry. And I am assuming that neither roleplaying nor... Nah, that's kind of low. ...pinkie-speedy is going to help.

Yeah, this is a big bear. God damn it. Sorry. So, Zoya is now going to huddle next to her staff and just fucking cry. Oh! Anything else? No, that's it. Okay, sorry. Z-Z-Zora, would you like to cry? Not yet. I have a question. Okay. So, when a target is blind, can it still do opportunity attacks? Yeah, because it'll hear, but it gets a negative five to any attack it makes. Okay, so, I am going...so, seeing how the Dire Bear kind of, like, wrecked Erina, Zora's not playing around anymore. So, she's going to use a daily Blinding Assault, and lots and lots of things happen.

So, let's find out if it works. Okay, let's...fingers crossed. That'll hit. Yeah! Damn fine roll. Okay, so, first let's do damage. Okay. Which will be this. Oof. Oh, wow, good. Yeah! Good, you have a brutal weapon. Because it's got the... brutal, yeah, that's the word. Okay, and... That's 13 damage. Hunter's Quarry. Oh, and max damage on Hunter's Quarry. Nice, damn. Nice. So, it is also going to be Blind and it can't shift save ends. Okay. And that's what...so, yeah. Alright. So it's Blinded save ends and can't shift save ends. And then, until this effect ends, I can shift one square every time it misses.

Okay. Anything else? Let's...I feel like bad for being so far away. But you're a ranged character, like you are helping. Like, you may have just saved Arena's life with the Blind. I'm gonna go here. I'm just gonna move slightly to the right. Okay. But that's gonna be it for my turn. Arena, you are grabbed by this bear. Oh. So... Does that mean I can't do anything? You can attack, but if you want to move away, you're gonna have to try to escape the grab. Okay. I'll stay where I am. Okay. Sorry. I was reading my Dazzling Flare while I was waiting, and apparently it is a ranged attack.

But that's fine. Oh. It's fine. We moved past it, and it's fine. I'm going to use my Iron Resurgence, so I'm going to spend one Healing Surge and gain two. Okay. So...and, oh, and temporary hit points that are equal to half my level plus...or half my Healing Surge value, so. Okay. So go ahead and spend Healing Surge. So I get that and temporary hit points. Yep. Cool. Good. That's...woo. Okay, I'm back, guys. Okay. Check that off. Yep. Now I'm going to use my Dazzling Flare. Okay. On the Stire Bear. That'll hit. That better...I was gonna say that better hit. Um, so there's that.

Check that off. Damage. And it takes...ooh, shit. Shit! It takes a negative two to attack. It already has a negative two to attack. Oh, it doesn't stack? Nope. Uh...uh...uh. As a result of being bloodied. Oh no. Fuck. No. It is going to use something called Ursine Crush. Oh. And it is going to pick Erina up off of the ground and then slam its entire body weight on top of her. Oh, jeez. Now, your armor may... This is a minus seven. Yes, that's...here's the saving...here's the saving grace, right? It...unless he rolls extraordinarily high, which I don't see him doing.

Uh huh. Fuck you. Uh huh. Then, I think...I think Erina's gonna be okay, guys. Are we ready? Who's got their fingers crossed? Me! Me. Got my toes, my arms, my legs. I am praying to Evandra in between my tears. Mm hmm. Please, Ford, please. Now, normally, this would just be straight damage because he has you grab it that's only on his turn. As a result of being bloodied, I'm not gonna do that to you. Cool. I'm gonna make him roll, so here we go. That's gonna miss. Nice. Yay! Whew! Evandra is good. Is that gonna wrap up your turn? Yes. Alright. Avalon! Okay, so Avalon is gonna, first off, take a few steps back.

Kinda reassert himself mentally. Okay. 'Cause his first attack didn't do shit. So after moving back a couple paces, actually a little bit further back, he's gonna try at this bear again, but at this time, full force, just run at him with Marauder's Rush. Okay. Just run at him like that. Okay. Let's see. Combat advantage. Oh, I have combat advantage? Yeah, you do now. Nice. I'm not. Yup. Try to poke into his ass one time. That'll hit. Nice. Plus Hunter's Quarry's damage. Okay. Alright, gorgeous. Anything else? Nope, that's it. Dire Bear's turn. Huh. Okay. The first thing he's gonna do is use Ursine Crush on Irina and just roll flat damage right off the bat.

Oof. Because she has grabbed. That's fine. So many dire bears. 49 damage. His entire body weight is gonna come down and sort of crumble bits of Irina's armor and just mash her shield up against her body. This is a mauling. Then he's going to let go of Irina and he is gonna turn around. Jesus Christ. And pop an action point. Oh my god. Shit. Wait a minute. And he is going to target Avalon. Oh fuck. And he is going to claw at him twice and use Maul. Well, he's gonna take seven damage when he does that too. Alright, the bear will take seven damage. Radiant, if it makes any difference.

No. Not particularly the evil Dark Bear. Would he also take seven damage because Elorath, you marked, or wait, you didn't mark him. No, he just has a negative two penalty to attack until the entire next turn. He has a bunch of negatives. So he has a negative seven still. At the end of a turn he gets to roll a save and try to get unblinded, but he definitely felt the broadsword harpoon him from behind and he is fucking pissed. So he is gonna turn around and just take these huge, clumsy strikes. Damn, my bad man. Jesus. I didn't... And hopefully... Didn't want to piss him off.

Just wanted to kill him. You thought what though? I thought he was marked twice. He is marked twice. That doesn't mean he can't attack other targets. My mark is different than Elorath's. My mark does damage, Elorath's marks gives him negatives. Okay, okay, now it makes sense. They are different things, yeah. Are you ready, Aveline? Yep. Alright. Now if he hits both of these you are going to be grabbed by this thing. Alright. He takes two swings. Here we go. First one is going to hit. Second one is going to hit. Fuck! Oh shit. Alright, as soon as the first one hits I want to use Wounded Beast as soon as I can.

It's an immediate interrupt. Oh, okay. Basically I can just take a swing at him. Then I can heal. Okay. So, first one hits you use... I use Wounded Beast. So go ahead, take a swing at him. Alright. Maybe you'll down him. Well I hope so. I really do. Because if not you're about to take a shitload of damage. That's going to miss. Okay. Well, oh I can actually heal myself as well. What do you, oh what's the heal? What is, let me see. I think it's a normal... Just let me see, what's it say here? Please say it's a healing surge. Yeah it's a healing surge. You're almost bloodied right now.

Oh poor him. Sorry. Hey this might actually kill me. It might actually, like seriously. Oh man, Wounded Beast would have been... Wait! Miss half damage! Oh nice. So I just roll some damage. Always look for stuff like that. Hold on. So half of 25, that's 14. That's pretty damn good against the bear. Alright. And you get to spend a healing surge sir. Nice, I will do that now. That might save your life. Okay. I'm going to bring you back up to... Alright, are you ready? Yep. Okay, so you're still taking these big strikes. So this bear is going to raise up, turn around, and just as it's about to strike you, you're going to swing up with your broadsword and just kind of like catch his nipple.

Just kind of like, eh. It's kind of a feeble, clumsy type strike. But here it comes. First 25 damage, that's going to bloody you, and second one... 35 damage! That is going to knock Avalon out. That healing surge saved your fucking life. Nice, I'll take it. That would have killed you outright. After my nap. Avalon goes down, and that will bring up Effiny. Oh! The bear just saved against Blinded. Oh, did it? Yep. Cool. Okay, I'm going to use Focus Sound, which will do thunder damage to the bear, and then until the end of my next turn, any attack against a target can score a critical hit on a roll of 18 to 20.

Ooh! Okay, we find that. Focus Sound. Damn it, my rolls suck. That's going to miss the bear. I think that's everything for now. You got an action point? Actually, I do. Yes. You want to use an action point? Why not? You only live once. True. Too true. Could I use Unicorn's Charge? I don't know, what is it? Let's see. Sounds majestic. One ally within range can charge the target as a free action. Zoya, do you want to charge the bear? Um, no. I don't think that would be very helpful for me. Most of my stuff is distance. I'm going to say no then, just because everyone else is adjacent to bear.

Yeah, sorry. No, don't be sorry. Dude, throw shit at the wall, who knows what you're doing. Yeah, I would not recommend charging that bear. Bad things happen. The bear's not fucking around. Well, instead, could I just use Rewrite the Future instead then? You absolutely can. So at the end of my next turn, I can replace an ally's attack roll against a target with your d20 roll, or replace a target's attack roll with your d20 roll as a free action. So that could, again, that could totally save a life, so let's see if you hit, personally. We have been rolling tonight.

That'll hit the bear. Go ahead and roll damage. That's nine damage, that's nothing to scoff at right now. Okay, now roll a d20. So this is a win-win. Okay, that's a two. Okay. That's not a win-win. No, hold on. Until the end of your next turn, you can replace an ally's attack roll against the target with the d20, I wouldn't advise that, or replace the target's attack roll with your d20. So if this bear rolls particularly good, you go, nope, you got a two instead. Yes. Wow. That's amazing. That is pretty awesome. I'll take it. That will bring up Elorath. Before that, Jason, can you roll another saving throw for the Dire Bear?

Because he has to save against being able to shift. That didn't go in the box, goddammit. Why is that not going in the box? That was a 17, that was gorgeous. No, it wasn't. It was gorgeous. I mean, he's not gonna move anyway, he's got like 50 people around him, but... That's true. I rolled a 14. Why is this not showing up? It's getting weird today, guys. This one will show up and it won't. Oh, 14. Okay, well, whatever. He saved. Okay, cool. Elorath. Alright, she's going to use Rage Drake's Frenzy. If the target is bloodied, +2 attack bonus. So I get a plus, because it is bloodied, correct?

It sure is. It's taking a shitload of damage, it's just not stopping. Yes. Okay. So +2 bonus, Rage Drake's Frenzy targeting Dire Bear. Alright, here we go, attack. Please. Goddammit. Hold on. No. Not gonna do it. And I don't think even a plus one for speedy or whatever would do it either. So okay, well, it does do half damage on a miss. So it's something. Okay, half damage on a miss you said, right? Yeah, I rolled it. That is 31. And that, okay, I'm sorry, that is 38. Half of that. That'll kill the bear. Yay! Fuck you, bear. I had like 17 things lined up for my next turn.

But cool. And it's a 2. Love you. Yeah, I totally did not realize that Healing Word is a minor action. And I totally could have healed you. And I'm so sorry. I had Lay on Hands. I have a free armor popping, like a free healing surge for my armor. And then on top of that, I have a power that lets me give somebody a healing surge. And then I was gonna action point and then use another power that lets someone have a healing surge. Good lord. I have all the healing surges, guys. But does Avalon? Nope, he's ass up in the air slumped. So since the bear is dead, and I assume we're out of combat, Zoya is going to run up to the possibly dead person and try to heal him.

Do I need to roll a check or can I just use a Healing Word? Your healing is high enough so that we're just gonna allow him to pop healing surges. So Avalon is gonna wake up. Boop, boop, boop. There I go. Wow. You just almost spent all of your healing surges for the day. Can we all pop healing surges? You absolutely all can. Can I pop healing surges? I would be running around healing everyone. I think I might have used one too many. Can you give me one more back? Sure. Because I pressed it and you were pressing it at the same time. Guys, before we move on, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the day.

Oh, I know. Say hi? Right after I pop the dude. I don't want to rush it. That's the only thing. Jane, Zach, welcome to the group. Thank you. It was fun getting dropped. Hey, you didn't die in your first session. No. Way to go. That came so close. I would have felt so bad. You could have totally come back with the exact same character, but nobody would have known. That's true. Just describe him a little bit differently. It's his brother. Babble on. And he's copper instead of bronze. What's up everybody? My name is Zach from group four and I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

If you did, please go to our website at dnrpodcast.com. From there you can find our Patreon where you can leave us a buck or two. It really helps out with the show. And you can also go to itunes.com and leave us a great review. Thank you for watching and see you later.