Into the Skid

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[CLINKING] Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. I think they mean us. Oh, [BLEEP] Um-- [CLEARS THROAT] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you're only going to cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

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And that's the last thing we wanted him to do, is get stressed out over this because that's not fun. It's a really difficult decision to make. And we all just sort of-- we all realized this wasn't working anymore. I think you'll all join us in wishing Dan the best of luck. And we all hope that he feels better and everything like that. The only reason we're announcing this at the top of the show, which is something we would never normally do, is we didn't want people to think that we were just biding time until he comes back because we've done that before.

That is not the case. So yeah, we didn't want there to be any confusion. With that out of the way, though, we really do hope you enjoy the show. And let us know what you think in the forums or send us an email. Thank you so much. Let's do that thing where we get ran around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Kelsey. Hey, I'm Kelsey. I play Aria Lethea, the drow surprise. I heard you pull back at the last second. The you don't need to know yet. The drow person. Yeah. And Rob. Hey, I'm Rob. I play Malchus Grimness, Tiefling Warlock.

And Rachel. Hey, I'm Rachel. And I play Tavine Brightheart, the Minotaur Shaman. And that would be group one as of right now. All of my friends keep dying. It's bad. Boy. OK, last time in the show-- because it's been a while. I might need to recap. Last time on the show, you guys decided to head back to the lovely little town of Durn Hollow and sort of check in and-- well, for a couple of reasons. One, Theo did kind of want to go back to the Honest Harlot and maybe talk to a lovely drow lady named Cesspa that he met. And let's see, it was super important that you guys get a new means of conveyance, a new bit of transportation.

So Malchus took it upon himself to get a lovely carriage commissioned for the group. And I'm having it lowered too. Oh, god. Are you getting really big wheels? Like, really? And hydraulics? Oh, yes. Just a reminder-- It's going to be able to jump rope when I'm done with it. Remember, you have a really heavy minotaur that's going to be climbing in. Just a reminder. So we're not going to go the opposite and raise it up real high. Well, I'll reinforce it. We'll put in suspension. We'll put in like a street suspension. Just an awesome sound system. Like, they're going to hear you in Aubrey.

Like, they're going to hear you coming way before you get there. I'll be setting off car alarms in Aubrey. [LAUGHTER] Bow, bow. A bit-- OK, so Theo actually met a young lady in Andaria. And they got to speaking. And through their very short conversation, Theo kind of found out that he had spent the night with a prostitute. He did not think that that was the case. It was like, wow, I met a really nice lady. I'm going to talk to her again. And then his heart was pried open like an oyster. So I think-- OK. It's a bit strong there. I'm not saying it's Aria's fault.

That was-- I mean, it's just-- yeah, that's what happened. So how about we do this? We're going to pick up pretty much right after we ended the last session. So I believe Duncan had talked to Caspa and was pretty much just kind of standing around for a second. Hey, maybe don't tell him that I'm paying you. But yeah. And Aria and Theo are still at the table. Where are Malkus and Tevin right now during all of this? Tevin was out talking to-- Larren, right? Yes. I'm like, start with an L. Yeah. So she was talking to her and kind of just seeing if there was anything, I guess, around town that she could dig up about what the big earthquakey thing was or about-- And basically, they didn't have much new information since the last time you were there.

So how about we catch up with Aria and Theo here real quick? OK. Caspa would approach this table, and she'd kind of do the thing where she'd reassuringly kind of caress Theo's shoulder. Not that he could feel it, because he's in a wall of armor right now. So it's not like he can-- but he would notice her there eventually. And she would look to Aria. Would you mind giving us some privacy? Kind of coldly. Like, just like, shoo. So as Caspa was approaching, Aria would have kind of been shrinking back in her chair, like not actually moving it, but just kind of like not-- almost edging away.

And then when she says that, she'll glance towards Theo and wait to see what he says. She's visibly very uncomfortable. Seeing this, I think Theo would-- no, no, she could stay. And Caspa would be kind of taken aback, just like, huh, OK. Like, that's not-- she's not used to hearing no, basically, is kind of the thing going on. And she would pull up a chair next to Theo, but still sitting at the same table with you guys. This is probably going to be awkward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she would-- she would be fully ignoring Aria right now and looking straight at Theo.

Well, I was thinking maybe you and I could go upstairs again and get away from people. Theo is going to take a beat here and then look up at her. Did Duncan pay you? And he's almost going to glance at Aria. Like, he's wondering if he should tag you in, like, because my new friend here just-- almost looking for confirmation. She's kind of like eyes going back and forth between them, so like sort of like half shrug. Like, she doesn't know what he expects her to say. Do me a favor. Get ready and roll an insight check. I got to roll one for Theo as well. Oh, boy.

It's not horrible. It's not-- It could have been worse. Theo is not crazy insightful. Let's see. Hold on a second. Not crazy insightful. Let's see what he gets. Not crazy insightful. We make a good team. It's going to go well. Well, what gave you an idea like that? And again, he's going to look kind of over to Aria while it was pointed out that this is a place where someone like that might work. And I just-- I think I have a right to know if that's the case. Let's see here. I want to-- I feel bad because I know it's like I'm in the scene, but she's not going to butt into that.

Right, oh, no, absolutely not. OK, she's going to lean down here. And again, not really caring if Aria hears, but trying to keep it semi-private. All right. Yes, your friend did pay me, but that doesn't mean we still can't have a good time. And I mean, it's still a free night for you. And she is going to look over to where Duncan was just to see if he's still standing there, just to see if he would pick up on this. And he is not standing there anymore, but let me see. Do me a favor, perception roll to see if you would see that. Yes, you would. OK. Good God, that perception.

Yeah, it's nice-- Insight is not the one you're good at. Perception would be-- Yeah, just makes sense. So Aria sees her looking over where Duncan-- Yeah, OK. Or where Duncan was. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. From where you were sitting, I believe it was a hat. Like, you would have seen that earlier. That mysterious hat is gone. Theo is going to look down. He's going to look actually pretty-- like, there was still a chance that that wasn't true. And he was hoping, he's like, please say no, please say no. Oh. Aria's going to kind of wince a bit at that, because she does kind of feel like it's her fault a bit.

But not saying anything, because they're still in the conversation. Yeah. I'm really sorry. I'm going to take a pass. And he's going to look over to Aria. Could you please help me stand up? Sure. And he is going to-- he's-- do me a favor, I guess, give me an athletics check. It won't be high. It will not be high. It's just to help him balance himself, basically. Oh, yeah, that's fine. So he's going to rock forward like once or twice and just give it that old, like, ugh. And he's going to stand up. I'm-- if you'll excuse me, I'm really sorry. And he's not looking-- like, he's looking back towards Zespa, but not at her, like, not at her face.

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Is there anything I can do? I'm going to go have a chat with my friend. But I-- thank you. I'd rather know, I think. OK. And he's going to raise his hand and just sort of pat Aria on the shoulder a little bit. And then he's going to turn and start to stomp across the bar. [LAUGHTER] And it kind of sounds like what deep sea divers used to use, like those big fucking-- kachunk, like a Big Daddy from Bioshock type of thing, like. And it's an attention getter. Like, people's drinks are wobbling on tables and stuff like that.

And people are like, dude, like, what about Malkus and Tavine here? What would they be doing? Like, now? After the carriage stuff has been-- so Malkus is going to check in a little later this evening for the carriage to see what progress is being made. Tavine's trying to find out if there's any new information in town. That hasn't gone swimmingly. Like, no one seems to know what the hell that earthquake thing was. What would there be a point where they kind of see each other out and about in town? Because it's not a big town. I think so. OK. Yeah, Malkus was shopping around for, like, treats, I guess, to make the journey to Winterhaven a little more interesting.

What kind of treats? Oh, we talked about this last time, actually. God, I remember it. Jesus, that was six years ago. I mean-- So lay it on us. What kind of tiefling treats are there? Oh, like sweet spicy candies? Mm. So are tieflings the type of people who like red hots? Because I don't know of a human that does, but-- Well, yeah, like, you know, like cinnamon things. And we've already established they like vanilla things. So they have, like, cinnamon vanilla candies. Ooh. Ooh. What about Tavine? You said that there was, like, minotaur-type snacks you were looking for, too, for the road?

Yes, I made up a minotaur snack. So she's going to walk over to, like, more of, like, a pastry-type place. And she's going to be looking for-- I give it a name-- called-- I'm going to butcher it. It's my own word-- halalo. OK. So it's going to be kind of like a-- it's a flaky pastry similar to, like, baklava. But instead of, like, nuts, it's going to have, like, berries. OK. Is what she's, like, kind of looking for something similar to that, or if there's baklava. Well, there's a bakery in town. It's not crazy-- it's not crazy exotic because it's durnhollow, and they're kind of, like, rebuilding.

It's more like, we have bread. Would you like bread? Like, they have a couple of sweets and stuff like that. And there's a lady who occasionally bakes cookies and stuff. But they will make things to order. Oh, I would definitely put it in an order for that. Oh, OK. Cool. So-- Because up until-- Even if I have to buy the ingredients for it? No, I think they'd have the ingredients because it's a pretty basic thing. It's just-- OK. To put it nicely, durnhollow up until recently was a pretty closed-minded community. So closed-minded, in fact, that it's like, I ain't eat no elven food, like, that kind of thing.

Like, very-- it's like that sissy food, that kind of thing. Like, it's very, like, Mural, like people that group one had met here previous. That was not that long ago. So they are reaching out. Now that the community is a little more diverse, and it's starting to open up, people from Overwatch are traveling up north to help with rebuilding. They're making different types of food and stuff to accommodate people. OK. She'd also want to try to order maybe something that, you know, other-- like, that Duncan and Theo would like, so maybe like a pie. Something that everybody likes pie.

Everybody loves pie. Everybody likes pie. How's about some time passes here? How about we do that? OK. So we're going to kind of advance things to dusk here. And I would say the rest of the day, you guys are kind of unwinding, kind of waiting for this carriage to be done. And what do you think the next stop is going to be from here? Like, let's say the carriage gets wrapped up and stuff tomorrow. And everything's up to Malkus' standards. Aubrey. Aubrey? I thought that was the plan. Head to Aubrey. Ask at least about the dagger and stuff. I'm just making sure. Unless anybody else has arguments.

I think that's-- yeah, safe. And that's-- I can't remember the map. That's closer to Winterhaven, right? That's-- Yeah, it's kind of on the way. So we're in the process. OK. So the sun is going to set. And people are starting to pack up for the day and wrap things up. Malkus, would you like to check on the progress of your new carriage? Yes. We're getting close to when he told me to come back, right? Yep. Yep. Could Jovine go too? Sure. She's going to be like kind of following him around, like, what all you bit? Buy in for us. You know, she's just curious now that she has nothing else to kind of do.

Hmm. I can't. Come along. I want to say that Theo would tag along. Just because-- here's the thing. I would say at a certain point of the day, you'd see him sort of clomping around. And he definitely looks to be upset. Like, it's not-- Theo's not a guy who hides his emotions very well. Tovine would ask, you know, is everything OK? I thought you and Duncan were going to go talk to Sespa. Um, yeah, that's not a thing. I kind of-- kind of got into an argument with Duncan a little bit. I may have-- I may have yelled a little. He'll bring you to that. Just-- hmm. Like, I know what he-- I mean, it was nice what he was trying to do.

I just-- I wish he would have told me, you know? Is there anything we can do to cheer you up? I've got some pie coming. What kind of pie? Blueberry. OK, I like blueberry. It'd be nice. Well, you can have the whole pie if it'll make you feel-- at least a little better. He's going to crack a smile. Like-- like, you ever see a picture, like, drawn of, like, a dragon, like, hoarding a clutch? Like, that kind of, like, yes. Like that-- like, that kind of smile. To be able to kind of, like, put an arm-- you know, like, that friend arm around him. Like, all right, we'll get you two pies if you want two pies even.

He likes pie, obviously. Oh, here, try one of these tiefling candies. How hot are these on a scale of 1 to 10? But here's the thing, right? There's cinnamon and vanilla on the outside. All the peppers are in the middle. Oh, Jesus, no. Oh, god. You're evil. OK, so if you aren't tiefling-born in bread and you don't have a resistance to fire, let's say, that might be a difficult candy to finish. They don't-- they don't cause physical burns. They're just, like-- No, no, no, no. I'm not saying he's going to die or anything like that. But it's like, OK, I have a lovely fiance who is into spicy foods.

I'm terminally Caucasian. I can't eat the things she eats because she's part dragon. Now, that's just the thing. What this-- what do you think that-- OK, how hot are the peppers inside is what I'm asking. I mean, the peppers inside are, like, used on the hot wings that half the table refuses to eat from. You know, like, it's like 50% of people will find the middle of this candy very irritating. Excellent. So it's not, like, two separated pouches of, like, flammable liquids that when they touch, they explode? No, I didn't think that was the thing. I didn't think Theo's head's going to crack wide open and-- Because I think that would be much cooler.

No, no, no, you don't-- you don't shout "commence primary ignition" before you throw it. It's what the bombs were made of in "Die Hard 3." The toilet will still be there when he's done. OK, so he would-- he would definitely take one and kind of pop one in his mouth. OK, that's pretty good. The real fun's at the center. Was there, like, like a-- like a liquid center type of thing? Mm-hmm. Give it time. OK. And he's going to continue to thoroughly enjoy this thing. Malchus pops one and two, just kind of grins to himself. Shall we check on your carriage? Yes. So the lovely gentleman you spoke to is still working tirelessly on this thing.

But a good majority of the outside of it is completed. So you got your-- this fucking thing is so gaudy. You got a couple of gorgeous horses set aside, like those really big, heavy duty type horses. So they're ready to go. Like, they've been brushed in there. They are gorgeous specimens. And then you got the outside of this, which, if memory serves, is like a crushed velvet purple type of-- No, no, no, that's the interior. Interior, sorry. The exterior just has the large-- No, velvet's for sitting, Jason. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not as classy. But the outside does have the big monogrammed MG on the thing.

Yes, it does. OK, excellent. So all that's done, and the interior is being-- the interior is underway as we speak. And he'll see you guys coming. And he wears this cap. He's going to just, like, tilt it. Hey. There he is, the man of the hour. How goes the craftsmanship? Well, you see for yourself. I'm actually pretty proud of it so far. How does it look? Is it actually impressive to me? I would say-- OK, based on what you described-- you know what? Let's roll some die here. I would say, based on what you described, that this is pretty much to the letter. I want to see if he's going above and beyond, right?

OK. So let's roll a flat D20. And on a 10 or higher, this exceeds Malchus's expectations so far. On a 1 through 9, I would say you could find some nitpicks before this is finished. Oh my. That's a 3. That's-- yeah. That's a 3. Yeah. Is that a scratch on the side? Where? Over by the back rear wheel well thingy. Did you accidentally hit something? I'm-- well, that is thoroughly embarrassing. I am so sorry. Do you have-- where's your plumb line? Hmm. My what? Like, it took him a while. Like, he's just like, what? You didn't balance the monogram using a plumb line to make sure it was leveled to see if the thing you dropped down with the weight to make sure that things are-- Ah.

No, no, I-- the hoosie. The hoosie what's this? Yeah, no. Hmm. No. Does it not look level? Do you-- You eyeballed that. I-- my eyes are pretty level. Malchus frowns. [LAUGHTER] Well, I'll tell you what. I still got all night to make this right. So I'll just not sleep. And in the morning, you will have a delightful new carriage, sir. Do you-- do you have extra assistance to, say, double check the work as it's done? There are a couple of people I can call in. I-- I think that would be a suitable step. I assure you, sir, I stand by my work. And you will be pleased with the finished product.

I sincerely hope so. You can tell the entire time this guy's eating a giant shit sandwich. Like, he's just like-- [GROAN] Like, he wants to-- he wants to debate these things. Because working under the time constraints and the materials, it's just-- it's like-- he's like, I am making a miracle for you. And you found a scratch, and this is slightly off center. You assholes. But he wants to make sure you're happy, because he's-- he's-- he's a perfectionist. Tevine will walk over to, like, a work table and leave, like, a loaf of bread that she bought. Aww. It's like an offering.

Aww, that's super sweet. So you don't want him to be hungry. And he's stuck here all night. Yeah. He can make some sandwiches. So we know one shop that'll be-- that'll be open all evening. Well, OK. That is super nice. Just, um-- just-- I'm just going to just lay something out here for perspective. And I just-- just take it for what it's worth. We are a very widely traveled array of individuals. So this carriage, it will be singing places, important places. I want to be able to tell people that you made it. And I want them to smile when they hear that. I think I'll read you-- read you loud and clear, sir.

I'm glad to hear it. And enjoy the bread. It's got cheese on top. Mm. Thank you, ma'am. Can't wait to see it in the morning. Do you know who my father is? As we-- as we walk out, Malkus kind of turns to Devine and is like, that actually worked pretty well. We need to work on this good guard, bad guard thing we have going on. That's-- that was very effective. Good touch with the bread. She's going to smile and be like, I mean, I wouldn't have chosen those colors. And I'm not sure what the MG stands for, but-- Malkus just spreads his arms wide. [LAUGHTER] Well, I don't think you've ever given her his last name.

Grim-- Grimness? Malkus Grimness? Oh. This-- this one right here? I thought maybe you guys had like an adventuring group name or something. Theo's going to-- Theo's going to brighten up. Well, we don't, but we hadn't done it, and I was the one paying for it. So personal monogram it is. That's-- I'm not opposed to it. It's just not colors I would have picked. Do you want to buy in for like half and then have some input? Are you making an investment-- I just want snacks. --my search? I just-- I don't mind riding in it. I'm not opposed to it. I prefer green. He's reinforcing the back so you can stand there and like keep a lookout if you need to.

There's a great spot there for you. I had him like, you know, secure the back. Oh, OK. Wait. What are the horses' names? I haven't named the horses yet. I'll pick the-- Are you buying a stake in the horses too? Didn't I give you money? Did you mean give me money? I think I did. I honestly can't remember. Hold on, let me check my notes. They will be shuffling. Because I can't mute. Theo would brighten up. Can we have an adventuring name party? Can we name it? Can we-- I mean, can we-- I don't know. Can you common? He's so excited. It's just like, the name for the-- can we?

I start with an M and a G. If we come up with a very illustrious title, we might have the monogram replaced. And if we find something that's abbreviated MG, we don't need to change the monogram at all. The mighty crabber. Massive, magnificent-- Mega-- Uh, gotta-- Well, think about it. I mean, we don't need to decide right this minute. We've got a perfectly good monogram on the side. It's a slightly crooked monogram that he didn't see fit to place with a plumb line, but it's a monogram. Well, I think the thing looks nice. The overall carriage, it looks comfy.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It's real good, and if we end up somewhere less painfully backwater, maybe we get it enhanced at a future date. Can I ask a question? Where would Arya be? That's a good question. Is there a library in Durgah? Not an impressive one. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's still like there's a building that has books in it. That's like-- It's basically a bookstore, but not impressive. Like a secondhand bookstore with a very limited selection. Yeah. It's something. I feel like she would end up in there at some point. Maybe not for as long as a different library, but wander over there while the evening's kind of settling in, and then I guess head back to the inn.

Well, OK. Here's the thing. I would figure then if you're heading back around dusk, you'd probably be out and about while the party's out and about. And if Theo saw you, he would definitely, at the very least, wave, maybe wave you over. And he would kind of tap on the shoulder of everybody. He's like, hey, I know that girl. I met her in the bar earlier. She's pretty nice. We can immediately see if she's a drow, I'm assuming. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was waiting for that. Yeah, Malchus kind of raises an eyebrow. Yeah. She's not with Seraph, is she? My concern exactly.

OK, guys, I don't think all drow are with Seraph. No, just like not all Mantars were with the n-word, but a lot of people might jump to assumptions. I don't know, she seemed pretty nice. I'm just saying. Seraph seemed pretty nice. Did he? He offered us water. OK, so-- That is your threshold for nice. I'm doing the talking from now on. Still, it would be painfully obvious of Seraph to send a drow to watch us. You'd think he'd have agents of unrelated variety. You mean non-drows? Yes. Well, OK. I just kind of wanted to say hi. I'm not saying we invite her along, just hi.

Like, I've only met one other person in this town who is kind of nice, and they were paid to be nice. Yeah? Yeah. You don't need permission. Go. Do it. Oh. OK. Well, I'll be back. I feel like when Theo kind of waved her over, she would have kind of hesitated before taking a couple steps forward. And then when they all started talking, she would have sort of stopped. And then just sort of watching them, staying politely out of any distance, but still kind of like, uh. So-- If Malka sees that she's hesitated, he just turns and notices it. And then he looks and gives the super most forced smile ever in a way.

It's just like-- it's so half-hearted. So it's like me when I smile. Yeah. Oh, jason. OK. She will kind of shrink back from that a bit and glance towards Theo. Theo would also give a big cheesy smile, not nearly as like-- Yeah. Yeah. To be-- if Theo starts walking over, she'll just kind of take a step or two behind him, but follow him over too. Yeah, he would close the gap. Hey, I kind of wanted to apologize for earlier. I was-- I was kind of bummed out. And you were in a really not so great spot. So I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I mean, I probably could have said that nicer.

I wasn't thinking. It's fine, really. Are you feeling better? Seem happier? I got-- well, there was the promise of pie. And I got-- I got this candy that-- oh, my friend Malkus gave me. That's Malkus over there. And this is Tevinne. I feel like I have to ask if Ari recognizes Malkus's name. Oh, boy. OK. [LAUGHTER] I don't want to ask that, but I feel like I have to. Do me a favor. This wouldn't be history yet, but give me a streetwise check. OK, good. I suck at that. OK, I would say on a holy shit. [LAUGHTER] That's crazy. Oh, D&D just happened, you guys. [LAUGHTER] It's not super likely.

I was partway through the set, so I was like, well, I'd say if you get a 24, OK, well then. Let's just throw some dice for funsies. It's not going to happen. [LAUGHTER] Well, that adds a wrinkle. Uh-- [LAUGHTER] Yeah, the name Malkus would ring a bell to Aria. Pretty big bell, actually, because recently in this very region, there were some events that I guess now Aria would have heard about. But yeah, he'd still be gesturing, like, this is Malkus, this is David. He's super happy to show him off. Does she know that Malkus is wanted? Oh, yes. Oh, OK. So yeah, so her eyes are going to go super wide.

I mean, she already was a bit uncomfortable and whatnot. And she's going to curdly glance at Malkus and then away. You like, it's nice to meet you. Is her body language obvious enough that I can tell that she's like-- I mean, she was already-- the fact that it's people and stuff, it's probably not too much of a change, honestly. She was already nervous. Right. So it might not be super obvious. Would you like to roll a check, Malkus? Probably going to-- Sure. Give me perception, just to see if you notice any-- Is it insight, social perception? Yeah, insight, yeah.

I was going by body language, but yeah, we could do that. Kapow. Jesus. That's pretty good. Yeah, I'd say-- I would say Malkus would pick up on the ever-- because it would probably happen as soon as Aria lays eyes on Malkus. Like, this is Malkus. I think-- I feel like that would be-- there'd be like a slight recoil, just like-- yeah, so-- OK. I would say Malkus would notice that. She pulled back from the giant minotaur, like, stepping forward, like, hi, and extending her hand. Oh, the-- Tevine-- yeah, so if-- Yeah, Tevine would do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.

She'll actually kind of sort of smile a little bit and shake Tevine's hand. She doesn't really seem to be put off by the fact that she's a big minotaur. I am-- yeah, as-- I'm Aria, as Theo just said. I feel like she kind of, like, keeps sort of, like, occasionally glancing towards Malkus and looking away really quickly. Like, it-- like, I mean, he obviously would catch on that with that insight roll and whatnot. So-- Theo would not pick up on any of this. Theo would just be, like-- Yeah. Big smile still. Tevine might pick up on it, right? Roll an insight.

Let's see. Man, hot dice. Hot dice. I'd say yes. Another crit, everybody at home. She'd probably just kind of lean in. And, you know, she's not trying to, like, you know, call her out or anything, but, like, do you not see many tieflings? I've seen tieflings before. Do you have any strong opinions about this one? Again, Theo's not picking up on any of this. Like-- And Malkus's hand has actually kind of dropped to his side, like, lingering near his wand and his rod in case he gets to, like-- Does Aria pick up on that? Give me a perception roll. Mm. I-- OK. I would say it's subtle enough that she doesn't pick up on it right away now.

OK. Oh, so close, though. I mean, she's already, like-- Already, yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, not like that would affect much, but it's kind of-- Like, she's just kind of stopped. Like, she doesn't know what to say. She's actually going to kind of take a step back and again sort of glance towards Theo because, like, as far as she's aware, it's like-- well, she's kind of like, Theo, can I talk to you for a second? Hey, I saw how you looked at me when you heard my name. What do you know? Theo's going to look concerned. Like, Theo's-- yeah, Theo's just going to look concerned and just like, what?

What? I know who you are. And at this point, she's kind of glancing around to see if there's anyone else in the area. Like, she's becoming sort of visibly a bit afraid. You know who I am. Is that going to create a problem? Malkus? Why are we grumbling at her? Give it a minute. Theo would look over at Arya. Is there? Is there a problem? Hopefully not. I hope so too. So probably around now, so if you want to kind of like reach out and pat Malkus on the shoulder, be like, all right, now be nice. Obviously, she knows of you, so maybe we should go inside because obviously she knows something else maybe.

And she's going to kind of look to Arya, like raising her brow. Like, do you know something else that maybe we can learn? I mean, at this point, like Arya looks like she's like-- she's completely just like scared. I mean, like-- OK. Theo would-- Theo would-- OK, I have an idea. How about I talk to Arya for just a second. She wanted to talk to me, and then maybe we could all go get a bite to eat. Arya, is it? Yes. You know, the whole reason I haven't scoured your face from your head with eldritch magic is because you seem too shy to be an assassin. Can I make an intimidate check?

Yeah. Can I stop it somehow? All the words have already been spoken, so like, that's pretty intimidating. Malphus is just trying to make sure he maintains control of the situation, socially speaking. Like, he doesn't want-- like, he wants to make sure that if anything's starting, she should be afraid. That's fairly intimidating. OK, Theo would be mouth agape at that. Like, the situation was kind of tense, and then all of a sudden it's like, I'm going to erase your face from your head. Like, that is a horrifying image. So he would just be like mouth agape looking at Malchus, like, what the fuck was that?

Like, we jumped several steps. I think even T'Vide would be kind of nearing that, like, what is going on? OK, is there anyone like around, like, aside? There are. OK, there would be talus folk just like, hey, in closing of shop, are you looking to like scream for help? Yes. OK. OK, just before-- if it's very visible that you're intimidated at this point, Theo would kind of step in between, just like, OK, OK, OK, let's all try to relax. OK. And he's going to like hold his hand out to Malchus, like, please don't fire. Theo, there might be people after me. Precautions are necessary.

OK, well, we just won't go anywhere private. We can be public where you talk this out. It's fine. There's all kinds of, you know, witnesses and stuff. Malchus then like kind of looks around at the town and he goes, I'm going inside. You figure her out. Let me know how it goes. He walks into the inn. OK. Are you all right? You OK? You look scared. Do you know who he is? Malchus, yeah, he's like a big teddy bear. He's a wanted criminal. Wait, wait. Malchus Grimness is a wanted criminal? Yes. Where? So she knows like everything from that role earlier, right? I would say, yeah, like, yeah, that was a crit.

Yeah. OK, like including like the whole genocide thing? Well, that depends on who you are. You would hear all this information second and third hand, right? So it's all very it depends on your interpretation. OK, so just like war crimes, maybe? Maybe. OK. He did things during the war that Winterhaven and the people that were on the good side, I guess they're the ones that are after him. OK, I don't I don't want to alarm you. So please just take a deep breath. I'm kind of a wanted criminal, too, where I come from. But now I'm a knight, practically. I mean, practically a knight.

I mean, once we get to Winterhaven, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be knighted. I mean, but that's OK. That's really neither here nor there. I'm just saying he's he's really a nice guy once you get to know him. And he's. I mean, I haven't seen him do anything more crimey since I've since I've been with him. Taveen? I was actually going to say that Taveen probably followed just to the door to give them space. So she's not listening to that. She's just kind of watching from a distance. Arya would be giving Theo the look that you would give someone if they're describing someone who threatened to blow off your face is nice.

I could see you're skeptical and I'm not saying we don't talk this out because I mean, I'm going to be honest, that was rude, but I mean, he's done lots of nice stuff since he. OK, he's he just bought a carriage, so I don't have to walk from town to town. That's pretty nice because it's it's hot in here. But. I'm sure. Hey, why don't you come to dinner with us? I'm positive that after you get a chance to talk to him, you'll love him. I am not sure if that's the best idea. I mean, you don't have to sit next to him. You can sit next to me. And if anything happens, then just get behind me.

I don't think he'll do anything again. It's Nalkis. At this point, she's going to kind of look at Theo and think you didn't know about him for now. What, the war crime stuff? Yes. It's what's news, it's news, but I'm sure there's another side of the story. And you're intending on going back to him. What, to Nalkis? Yes. Well, I mean, again, not to toot my own horn, but they kind of need me. I'm I'm I'm I'm the tank. I'm I I am the thing that stands between them and death. Uh huh. And he's going to kind of like reach up and knock on his own armor. I'm sure you are.

I just take a deep breath and kind of steel herself and then I will go with you. OK, come on, let's let's let's catch up. I'm sure they got a table by now and everything. What do you want to eat? This would be as as he's walking to the place, like just change of subject. Yes, I mean, like it take her a few seconds to be like, what does that is completely change? But then just I I had food. Food is good. OK, good choice. Just kind of like trying to lighten the mood a bit. Just right about the time that you guys are crossing the threshold of this place, I would say that Thea would reach the nougaty type center of that candy and and kind of hit Peppertown.

And he would almost stop in his tracks, just kind of a very visibly like just kind of like look down, just like, hmm, this is what turns him on me. This is what turns him against me. He is evil. Yeah. Also, that's the longest lasting candy in. Oh, I don't know why I picture I picture like a gobstopper like a. That's what I was just going to say, everlasting gobstopper. They can be resilient, sure. Maybe he just didn't aggressively it's kind of in his cheek the entire time he wasn't. He was he was chipmunking it. Yeah, because I mean, conversation, you don't want to sit there.

Mwah, mwah, he's a good guy. You don't want to do that the entire time. You don't be rude. He's going to try his best to play this off like, I'm not dying. This is fine. Everything's fine. His mouth is on fire inside. Do we need any checks to see that he is visibly uncomfortable? No, this would be like he would be breaking out into a like a mild glisten. Like this is not this is pretty much on the surface. He is not good at hiding. Are we still walking towards? I would say that that by this point, like like after the threshold is a momentary like, hmm. Let's continue on that type of thing, like nothing's wrong.

And then I would imagine they'd find the table where Tibby and Malchus are. So so not only does Malchus like has he found a table, but he has like he has like ordered a drink to sit in front of him, like a like a big like a big kind of glass of wine. And he is like floofed his cloak out to make himself like larger and a little more intimidating. He has he's he's sitting he's sitting with perfect, like upright posture, and his hands are just palm down on the table watching them come in. Thea would not really notice all the theatrics because he's dying.

So he's he wouldn't know. He would just kind of like I think he'd probably offer to try and pull back Ariacite just a little bit and then sit down himself and just kind of like, phagunk, and collapse into into a chair. So I don't know what like the seating arrangement is, but like, I think like a table like a square table, like two on one side, two on the other type of thing. Okay, so yeah, so she just sit down and she's watching Malchus very closely, as would be expected at this point. I want to see how long this candy lasts. I'm gonna roll a flat d20.

The higher the number, the higher the number, the longer it lasts. Oh, it's almost done. Okay, he's he's almost almost done. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing in the middle. It's either. Hey, you get one made by a tiefling candy maker. It'll last a little longer, but we had to deal with what we could. Well, I mean, you get I mean, they try in towns where they're not predominantly tiefling they you know, recipes different. Yeah, if you're listening to this at home, Google the St. Paul sandwich. It's St. Louis Chinese food. It's great. Oh, God, what's in that? The St. Paul sandwich is is an egg food, young sandwich, like egg for young Patty on a white bread sandwich.

Why? That you know what, that does not shock me that Missouri is the state where I was asked if I wanted. Missouri is the state where I was asked if I wanted bacon in my ice cream when I just stopped to get gas. I wasn't even ordering ice cream. It's just pieces of white bread. It's not even like it's looking. And like, yeah, Google it. That's the St. Paul sandwich. It's totally a St. Louis thing. Wow, that is amazing. That's gross. Yeah. Anyway. OK, but enough out of me. Tieflings make the best St. Paul sandwiches, that's what he's saying. Tieflings are the Asian analog of Theria.

That's what this has been all along. I guess. I don't know. It's not like Overwatch where the only two Asian people just yell about honor the entire time we're in a fight. Okay, okay. So when you said Overwatch, I was like, "Sucking about the game." Wait, no, he'd be talking about the city and then you'd be talking about the actual like, "Fuck, this is an issue, Jason." You're telling me? I see why they sued your ass. No. Oh, OK. So they take their seat and Malchus looks at Aria and says, "So you know what you know. What do you think of what you know?" Why do you care about what I think?

Because we're eating together. I need to know whether I need to check anything I consume for the evening. Okay, at that she actually looks like confused. You have to understand that when I've been accused of some of the things that I've been accused of, some true, some not, some justified, some happenstance, there are people who want me dead. And the more knowledgeable people are about me, the more they seem to want that outcome. I am not here to kill anyone. That's a good thing to hear. Theo would just be doing the tennis, like the pinball thing back and forth.

So how did you and Theo become acquainted? That's a sad story. What? Kind of a sad story. I actually met her in this bar earlier. I was... I was looking for someone and found her instead. And we got to talking. Oh, so you're one of the... He just waves his hand around toward the harlots. There'd be a second where Theo's like, "Oh my god, are you? Did I do it again?" That's... That would be perfect. That would be... So he would snap over like, "Are you?" Just for a split second like, "Are you?" I don't- I mean, she seems a little shy for that. But you know, there are guys who are into it.

So maybe- I work here. No. So what do you do for a living then? If you don't mind my asking. I thought she's gonna kind of pause and just like sort of like trying to think of... Like that kind of like caught her off guard. And she's like, "Um... I'm not really anything at the moment. It's sort of complicated, but I'm just sort of traveling right now, I guess." Where are you traveling to and why? She's just gonna kind of shrug. I mean, nowhere in particular. It's just... Somebody have it out for you? Hates you? Trying to destroy you? Not particularly me. Malkus sips at his drink.

So are you looking for somebody? No. See, Malkus, you have nothing to worry about. She's gonna look over at him. Now you can relax and enjoy your wine. Malkus is still actively looming. She is still actively shrinking. What was that? Do you have business here in Durnhollow? Is there a reason you're staying here? Because, no offense, you don't exactly look comfortable, I guess, in a place like this. I'm not used to being in a place like this, but it's the end of the town and I happen to be passing through, so I feed the place a sleeve. So you're passing through, but on your way to where?

I'm still confused if you're traveling. Which way are you heading? Like, she's kind of like looked down and like, your ears are gonna fall a bit. I wish... I don't really have an answer to that question. I'm just kind of going. Not towards something so much as away from something? Yes. Malkus actually kind of visibly relaxes at that. He kind of settles back into his seat and sips at his drink a little more. Well, um, well, okay, you know, we're going to Winterhaven because we got we got stuff to do there. So, Theo, have you been like spreading that around?

This is the first that I've heard of it. Okay, don't make a habit of that. What I mean is where we're going. Right, but don't just tell everyone. Wait, wait. Why would you be going to Winterhaven? And then like, as soon as she says that she immediately realized what she said and just kind of like, go back into panic mode. I have history there. Things are not as black and white as they may appear on the wanted posters. There may still be hope yet for a more amicable resolution. You seem to have heard a lot about me. Just make sure you consider multiple sources.

I imagine that most people have heard about you. And I have yet to hear any of these other sources. Many of them traveled with me, at least time to time. There's a certain degree to which no one will ever fully understand the decisions one has to make on the battlefield or deep in some accursed tomb. What have you. Hard decisions get made. Impromptu decisions on the fly. Theo would kind of, kind of very sheepishly, hey guys, maybe if Arya wanted to tag along with us to Winterhaven, we could, I mean, we could make room. It's a big, big carriage, I'm just saying.

And I mean, she already knows who you are. And you guys seem to be getting along much better now, by the way. She seems far less likely to be a spy or an assassin now that I know a little bit more. She's gonna kind of raise an eyebrow at that just being like, again, just like confused. Well, why don't we start with having dinner tonight? And maybe in the morning we can see if the carriage is done. If it's not done, we're not going anywhere, correct, Malchus? I would prefer not to leave without it. We'd make it hard for delivery. And I still have to think of names for the horses.

Critical decisions, indeed. It is. By the way- Oh, go ahead. You're getting a carriage built and horses, you're just buying that? It's better than walking. Jason, that's a lot of money, right? Oh, yes. No, that's not walking around money for 90, like the 97% of the aliens. That's not- Yeah, that's- You're either, especially in this part of the country? Oh, God, no, no. Yeah, so she's gonna kind of lance around at them, just sort of like- Thea would be like, Oh, okay, I see the confusion. See, Malchus is a knight. So it's a pretty important job. I think that's where I think it's where a lot of his money came from.

I don't think he likes to talk about it too much. We're a talented group of individuals. We often find ourselves in above average wealth. Well, I suppose that must be convenient. Here's my question for you, Aria. If we were to take you along, do you have any talents? You're going to be a drain on resources? Do you have something to contribute? Um, I mean, she's gonna kind of look down like she's unsure. I have a bit of magic. I can do some things with it, I guess. Me too. You do. I mean, a little bit. It's kind of situational, I guess. And I'm not great at controlling it yet.

But yeah, no, I can do stuff. Ice. I can make ice. That's a lot more impressive than what I can do. I'm not good at controlling mine either. So... You ever killed anything? Not by choice, not anything sentient. But like if we were attacked or something along the way, could you defend yourself? I could defend myself and you. Theo would kind of lean over. The attacking thing does happen from time to time. She'll kind of glance to the side towards him. I'm used to that. So what do the rest of you do then? Theo has magic and the two of you? Well, I'm more of a healer and she'll just nod like, "I can do magic." But it's nothing overly impressive.

And it's mostly of the healing sorts. What type of healing? Nature. I'm not big on the divine gods and all that. I do follow Melora, but I wouldn't say I practice any kind of religion. So shaman is what the term I guess most people call it. But it's, you know... You're a shaman? That's... Wow. Healer, I prefer. Samestress, also a good title. I can sell pretty well. Still, that's a pretty impressive thing, too. And then she'll kind of look at Malchus, not saying anything, but kind of like, she doesn't want to directly ask him, but she's curious. I figure out what people are willing to pay to make dead.

And I make it dead for them. Oftentimes, things get complicated. He's also grumpy. He's really good at being grumpy. I am careful. That is what I am. I am. Look, you would be grumpy too if you had my history and you had strange drow girls walking up to you and going saucer-eyed at your name. Well, okay. I kind of waved her over. And she looked very skittish when she heard I was Malchus Grimnus, hence the reaction. Yeah, but only because of the war crimes. Okay, in Theo's head, that was a perfectly reasonable response. Well, only because... Only because you murdered a whole group of people, you know.

Only because you bathed in children's blood. Oh, for crying out loud, we need to get to Winterhaven as soon as possible so I can start clearing this up and have my face on fewer posters. Well, you want to get some sleep then? Indeed, although, well, at least I have high hopes that it will be a more relaxing day than usual, but with our new carriage and horses. And don't forget, we plan to stop through Aubrey to ask about the dagger that Duncan's carrying on. That's right. Where is Duncan? Is that the... She's gonna like kind of motion her hand like, like as if like, you know, like short person?

Like that's... The dwarf. She only saw a hat. Is that your hat? Exactly. Um... I may need to go talk to Duncan. Actually, I kind of yelled and I feel bad. He was trying to be nice. I just... I'll go talk to him. Alright, we'll leave you to it. Who would like to help me up? Theo will reach across, because she's saying across from my mom. I would reach across so he can like grab her hand. Okay. Auria would have already begun standing up to like be there ready to... Just in case it's a failed attempt. And Theo. Just so it's clear, until she proves herself capable, she's your responsibility.

Okay, I mean... Okay, we don't... You were someone's responsibility once too. Okay, and he's going to look over at Auria. You can just stand behind me and everything's... Everything's fine. I'm sure nothing's going to happen anyway. It's been a while since like... Oh, the dragon. Okay. Okay, I gotta tell you a story about the dragon, but... There was a dragon. A while back. That's when... That's when we still... It's not important. The important thing is that most of us survived and... There's really no need to assign blame for the people who didn't. I'm gonna go talk to Duncan.

Are you okay with going alone? I mean, if you want to come with me. Do you want me to come with you? Oh, this is adorable. [Laughter] He's gonna look down at the table. I mean, I might need help up the stairs, so I mean... Theo, I don't think apologies are a group activity. You might be better off just going alone. Right. Right. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. And Theo would excuse himself and start stomping across the barroom floor here and towards the stairs. The rest of you guys, would you pretty much eat and then adjourn to bed? Yeah, just... Aria, they might pick up that she eats a lot considering her size.

Like, she's... I mean, she's pretty average for a drow, but like... She eats a lot more than it would seem like, and that's kind of a thing. But then, yeah, bedtime. Malchus actually does an extra, like, circle around his room checking for traps and stuff. Are there any drow ladies hiding in my wardrobe or in the bed? Any drow... Unwanted drow ladies. Yeah. I mean, I think Tavine would maybe try to make some small talk with Aria. Just like, you know, where do you come from and that type of stuff and see if she's... We can do that then. Well, I mean, you're gonna be traveling with us, but she'd still like to know about you.

Yeah, so I mean, like I was saying, we can roleplay that out if you want to. Yeah. Okay. So, Aria, before you came to Durn Hollow, where did you come from? I was born in Ebony Harbor. Do you know of it? A small town on the coast, sort of a north? There are actually a lot of minotaur there. Though, no offense, I've never seen one like you. She'll kind of like motion to her head. Like, where like the horns thing. Yeah, I'm from a smaller clan that wasn't part of the major grouping of minotaur. So there's not too many of us. That's interesting. But yeah, I'm from there.

And then I guess recently for a while I was underground. Were you underground by... And she said she doesn't want to jump to assumptions about drow, even though that's a common thing. But she'd be like, were you with other drow and willingly? Were you forced to go underground or was that like a, you know, were you exploring? Is how she's trying to mean it. I lived there for several years. Did you live with other drow or were you living with other people? Dwarves? Don't drow people live underground? She's gonna kind of like blink a bit. The dwarves in my race that don't get along so much generally try to stay away from each other.

So no dwarves. There were other drow though. I mean, it's kind of the where most of us live that were underground, I guess. Did you like it underground? It wasn't entirely unpleasant. I mean, it wasn't the easiest life, but I guess there really isn't an easy life much. So where are you from? And if you don't mind me asking. No, that's fine. I was born in the wastes, but we moved around a lot more, I guess you could say nomadic. Spent some time here in Durnhollow. I'm just gonna kind of look a little uncomfortable. I lived outside of town with a family for a while.

They bought my father and I, and then my father and I left and went to the Evergreen. And that's where I learned to be a shaman and to heal and spent a good time there. So it wasn't unpleasant there, and it certainly wasn't underground. Much more sunshine, if that's what you like. That sounds nice. I'm sorry about the whole Durnhollow thing, but the Evergreen sounds very nice. She is. And I'll be like, well, the funny thing about being bought here in Durnhollow is that it actually wasn't the worst. I mean, I was separated from my mom and my sister, but I grew up with a young man named Derek.

He was a couple years older than me, and I was kind of purchased as a pet. Kind of a nice term, sort of. Pet companion friend. So I basically got to stay with him and I learned with him. So I learned how, you know, just basic reading and writing type stuff helped on the farm while my father also helped. So it wasn't the worst situation. I don't resent it. She'll sort of mod. I suppose it could have been a lot worse, but still, that's... Yeah, I mean, the worst part, I think, is coming back and finding that the farm has been destroyed. And I don't know what happened to the young man, Derek.

Probably have wife and kids now, but I don't know. They're gone, missing. I'm sorry. Just destroyed you completely or... It looks like the house hasn't been lived in for a while. And I don't know how long you've been in town, but I don't know if you know anything about the Elf Town Farm. No, I barely. I just came in today. But maybe it happened during the war or something and they had to... I don't know. It seems to be a lot more recent within the last couple of weeks that something went awry at the farm. I don't know what. I know there's a dagger that Artemis Peck had made, and that's kind of where the only lead we have.

That and she's gonna kind of look at Malchus for a second. Wizard men. I thought Malchus wasn't here. Oh, I thought he was still eating. No, I thought that he had left. We were kind of... I believe he did. Yeah, yeah. She's gonna look at where Malchus was sitting. No. Right chair. I'll be like, well, there's Duncan. Once you get to meet him, I'm sure he'll tell you all about his theory of lizard men. Lizard men. Do you have any insight to lizard men by any chance? Do I have any insight to lizard men, Jason? What's your favorite royal history check? Are they an underground people?

Another crit. That is another crit. What the hell are the odds tonight? Wowza! The odds are that we're gonna be screwed if we get in combat. Okay, to Arya, that's one of those things that you'd find little passages written about them and stuff like that, because there are people like Morgan in the world who have written extensively about lizard men and the conspiracy behind lizard men and all that. But Arya would not have encountered any such creature that she would know of or met anybody that would have encountered such a creature, but she would know that supposedly they exist.

According to some people. I mean, depending on your sources, some people believe that they exist. I honestly haven't ever encountered or read anything that had any proof, but whatever floats your boat, I guess. Yeah, not sure how I feel about the lizard men theory myself, but Duncan's convinced and the guy at the farm is convinced, so maybe there's something to it. Maybe they're just down a rabbit hole. Well, hopefully you'll be able to find them and everything. I mean, if I am going to be traveling with you, I'll help. Oh, that'd be really nice. And of course, if there's anything we can do, I know Malkia seems crusty on the outside, but he actually is a pretty decent guy.

You just got to let him warm up to you a bit. He kind of threatened to burn my face off. Yeah, I know. Yeah, sorry. But you and Theo seem decent, so. Oh, you got to have somebody to balance out Malkia sometimes. Is she going to smile? Like, yeah, we're the good guys? He's the bad guy? She's going to kind of have a smile. Like, yeah, yeah, whatever you say. We'll see how it goes, I guess. Well, we've had a little bit of a run in with some drow lately that I'm not going to lie, I may have wanted to jump to conclusions about you as well because we got wasn't the most, how to word it, appetizing offer from him.

So we weren't sure if maybe you were sent to check on us, so to speak. Him who? Do you know a guy named Serif? Tason! Do I know a guy named Serif? I would say no. Okay. So she's going to kind of shake her head. You may want to try to keep it that way. He's not unpleasant, but it's not somebody I would spend an afternoon drinking tea with, so to speak. He may have some questions for us later after we declined an offer he gave us. So we'll see. That sounds fun. Could we do something really quickly? Oh no. Could we? Okay. I want to catch up with Theo. Yes. At this point, I believe he would be upstairs probably knocking on Malchus's door.

Yes. Can I talk to you for a second? Malchus gets up and unlocks the door and opens it. Duncan's gone. Define gone. Like I went to his room and found this note and gone. Like he's gone. Like he left. Malchus takes the note and reads it. The note essentially breaks down to "This party is falling apart. I am taking off to find Yenward and bringing the party back together." Oh, you can't just... Malchus just kind of like face palms and slowly rubs his hand down his face. Malchus, I chased him off. No, you didn't. There's... I yelled at him. Everything was fine. And then I yelled at him and now he left.

And what if something happens to him out there? I don't even know where he went. What direction? But he's been separated from us. Theo, the problem with Duncan is that he's got this... Very early when we started adventuring together, he's got some extremely fond memories of how things were and he just doesn't understand that things have changed. He didn't say which... Malchus looks back over the note. Does it say anything about which direction he's going? Does it say anything about... It's basically two sentences. It's... yeah. Oh, it's "I'm gonna find Yenward." Yeah, that's it.

Basically, "This party is falling apart. I'm getting Yenward." And we're kind of... the vibe is basically, "And then we're gonna be a big happy family again." That type of thing. There's a smiley face. And even if he does find Yenward, I'm not fully sure. Everything can be reconciled, but that's neither here nor there. Duncan is, well, woefully nostalgic on the issue. Well, should we try and track him down? Like, go after him? How? What lead do we have? He's been on the road for hours at this point, right? Could be, yeah. We've had members of this fellowship, as it were, strike out on their own before.

And one thing we can say is that we don't hold anyone here against their will. Well, okay, he knows where we're going. So maybe he'll meet us in Winterhaven. He does. And we can leave notes behind as a trail like we've done before. Well, no offense, but I think if he asked around about that carriage, I'm pretty sure people would spot us. Fair assessment, Theo. We should probably catch Taveen and let her know about this. Did you see her down in the common room? Is she still there? I think she's still talking to Arya. At least that's where they were last time I saw him.

Let's go back downstairs and make this clear before we settle in for the night. Okay. Hey, um, uh, you think of Arya? I am withholding the verdict on Arya. What do you think of Arya? You seem rather attached this early. Well, I mean, I mean, she's nice. I mean, it would be nice to have, you know, another person on the road. I mean, even if like maybe, maybe she's a really good cook or something. I mean, I can, I can cook some stuff, but I mean, maybe she'll bring something to the party that we don't have. Perhaps for now she's with us out of convenience, but Theo, you need to understand that I have had a colorful past.

Some amount of suspicion is required. We can't just adopt every lost, doe-eyed puppy that comes before us. Okay. I don't, I don't think she's going to murder you. I really don't. I mean, I don't think so either at this point, but until we sussed it out of her a little bit, I had no idea what to think. Hence my suspicion. Hence my control of the situation. Well, I mean, I don't, you guys picked me up. You didn't know I could have been a hardcore killer. Theo, I recall being dead set against adopting you. Thankfully you have proven that assessment wrong. He's going to kind of beam a smile.

But I'm not going to assume that that's going to be a pattern, which means Aria, just like you did, we'll have to prove value, loyalty, earn her way. And we will have to keep an eye on her to make sure that she has not fooled us. I have to be suspicious, Theo. I cannot afford not to. I'm playing with my life. I, I understand. Okay. One, I obviously would protect you in case something, something bad were to happen. And two, I, I don't know. I think most people are pretty good. Keep traveling with me, Theo. It's going to be educational. At this point, I would think that they're, they're, they're walking towards.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, do you ever think that maybe you bring it out of people? Like maybe you rub them the wrong way a little? I mean, it's no offense. Again, it's you, you could have been a little kinder down there when we were introducing ourselves. Best foot forward and all that. At some point I was less suspicious, less abrasive. Experience has hardened me. Right. I'm, I'm just saying, okay, so you're, your mom's in Brightport and stuff. And I, I kinda heard about her. I'm that you kind of want to spread the grimness name in a good way, right? Like, you know?

But first I have to make sure it's safe to do that. Hence the trip to Winterhaven to attempt to clear the air. Okay. I'm sure it'll, I'm sure it'll go great. Really? I'm not. T'Vin. Ah, I thought you guys were turning in for the evening. I thought so too. And Malka's hands her the letter. She'll take it and read it and then just kind of look at Theo and him like, um, so this is odd and it's, I haven't known you guys very long and I certainly haven't known Duncan very well. Is he prone to running off like this? He's done it once before. This makes it a pattern.

Maybe. And she's gonna kind of look at Theo. Did, I'm assuming he didn't get a chance to apologize is what this means. I chased him off. You didn't chase him off unless you were following him actively with a sword, screaming obscenities. You didn't chase him off. I mean, he didn't, he did, the note leaves no clue as to which direction he went. He has a lead on us regardless. Yeah. I wish I could say that there was more that we could do to follow up after him, but unfortunately we are without recourse. Um, Aria, I'm sorry. I guess you're not going to get to meet Duncan yet.

I'm, I'm sorry. Losing people isn't, it's not easy. Well, he's presumably not dead. So. Oh, Theo would look mortified at the thought of that. Like, just look at Tevinne, like just mouth agape. I mean, he obviously left a note. He's, he'll be fine. He's just gonna cool down, find the n-word and I guess be in touch. Theo, if it's any consolation, Duncan has died once and it didn't stop him. That would not be much comfort. That would not. Guys, listen, I am so sorry. I will never yell at any of you. I swear. I, I let my temper get the better of me and I shouldn't have, and it'll never, ever, ever, ever happen.

I'm sorry. And if I see Duncan, I'll tell him the same and hopefully he'll just, hopefully he'll meet us in Winterhaven. For the moment, that's all we can do. Yeah. And maybe it wasn't you, Theo. Maybe it was me because I looked like n-word, sort of, because I'm a minotaur and it, you know, maybe he was just very confused and that upset him. You don't know. And he didn't say you did something. He said the party. So that's all of us. All of us are at fault for something, apparently. So we should get some sleep, huh? Yeah, I think that's the best idea. And in the morning we may have a carriage.

And pies. And candy. All things considered, things are looking up. I mean, not the Duncan thing. That thing's a real bummer, but... But the pie thing and the horses thing. And I mean, he does this sometimes, but there are also good things going on in our lives. So how's about we adjourn here for the evening and pick things up in the morning? I would imagine a carriage inspection is wanted. Oh, I am wearing my carriage inspection monocle. White gloves and... we are ready. There's no monocle. There's no monocle. Is Arya with them when they go to see the... I would imagine!

Yeah, Tevene would probably knock on your door and see if you'd be interested in checking out. Also, Jason, what day is it? It is now the sixth of Thorim. Which one's that one? Seasonally. You guys are heading into winter soon. Like, it's fall right now. It's gonna start getting cold. The carriage was a remarkable act of foresight then. This just makes it... Well, yes. Yeah, you don't want to be out in the elements. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go to the carriage. That is going to be the gift that keeps on giving. Or gets destroyed. God, let's not. You guys need to win. It does get destroyed.

It's got to get destroyed in a really rad chase scene, where I jump into a building and it explodes. Malchus does a dramatic wailing cries over the remains. No, I leap out of it at the last minute and roll to safety and it runs into the powder stash. The powder shed. You know what's weird? Every once in a while, G1 will do something where they foreshadow something. It's not even foreshadowing. It's, "We're going to do this thing." And then later on that happens. If you watch the documentary... I'm making it real, listeners. I'm making it real. So spurred on by your, let's say, assessment of his work thus far.

This guy put in some time. So, okay. Let's say we're working on a scale of 1 to 20, right? He's going to roll another d20. Well, with a plus this time, because he has worked tirelessly through the night. - With a crit. - Okay. Yeah, so anything beyond a 20. Let's say he rolls a crit. Anything beyond a 20 is gravy. Like this just far supersedes your expectations. But let's see. Oh my god. You gave him... Hold on, listeners. I just need you to... Jesus Christ. I need you guys to know that Jason gave this guy 10 points of modifier to roll that d20. Yep. And this backwater carriage...

He smells really quite good at his job. He took a shit in this thing. It is just embarrassing. With a plus 10 modifier, this carriage maker... That scratch is still there. Has seen fit to generate an 11. With a plus 10. So what this basically equates to is like, Malchus saw a dress he really wanted, but ordered it from a shoddy Korean website. And they made a cruddy reproduction. Like a really cruddy reproduction. In two sizes too small. Yeah, like it's like one shoulder's up here, the other one's down here. Like it's not... It's just none of it's to... None of it's to spec.

It's... Does he know that he made a terrible carriage? I would say... I mean... I would say... It won't be defensive. He did... Here's the thing. Terrible. He made it... This is average. Average work. And for grading on a scale of one to 20... This is... This is thoroughly okay. Like... It will drive. Jason. He just didn't back... Like, no. He would... I have a feeling he would just be exhausted and just... He'd kind of have a look on his face. It's like, I did the best I could. I tried. You gave me one day. Not even. How much have I given him? You paid half. And I still owe him how much?

That would be 700. 700 more? Yes. It was 1400 total. That sounds about right. I just want to... I want to take like the manifest with like the total at the bottom. And I just want to look at it. And look at it. And look at him. And look at the carriage. And look at him. And just like wait for him to get the memo. How about we just call this a draw? I think that'll do for the time being. Quick question, Jason. Are the wheels actually round? Yeah, here's the thing. Thoroughly average means that. Like, this isn't like... Like, it's gonna drive, but it may not be comfortable.

That's definitely the President's limo. Like, it's not that. It's just like, yeah, that's a nice carriage. And like, for the... Okay, like if you're looking at the inside and you're really looking for things, it's like, yeah, the stitching is a tiny bit crooked here and there. And like, he probably could have tucked in the material a tiny bit. And so it's a little lumpy in spots, but it's super comfy. And it's way better than regular carriages. Okay. I feel like Aria would kind of lean towards Tavine. Is he always like this? I mean, it looks pretty nice. Yeah, he has high expectations for some things.

Okay. Malchus kind of goes back to both of them, kind of waves the party together and says, "Here's what we're going to do." "We're going to gather our things." "We will be so nice." "He is not asking for the other half of the money, so that is one thing that went well today." "We're going to take our things and we're going to put them into this carriage." "We're going to ride it out of town." "At the earliest opportunity, I am going to sand the monogram off of it so that it is not associated with my name in any fashion." Wait, wait, you monogrammed it? People aren't going to know what the MG means just with me riding by.

Anyway, we will upgrade the carriage situation at a later date. For the time being, I am going to be thankful that we are not going to be trudging through snow on foot, and I am going to contain my emotions. Okay. Let's go on a wonderful adventure together. And there's this huge forced smile for everyone around. You have to roll a bluff check. I can roll a bluff check. Sure, with the way dice have been going today, let's roll a bluff check. Yes, let's see how that goes. Not! Okay, not. It's a little see-through, I'm going to be honest. That smile? It's enough to trick the plebes.

Yes. It's a little too wide. Tevin would leave him another little snack of some sort, because she bought a bunch of baked goods. Is there pie? Is he asking that or are you asking? I'm asking that! I'm genuinely curious. Yeah, she would have bought a couple of them, so she'll leave a pie for him if that's what he would like. Yes, that's what he would like. My god, yes. And we're taking off? We're taking off with our yet-to-be-named horses. I know, I haven't come up with names yet, sorry. We're gonna have to work on that. It's a process, you have to pet them and talk to them.

Get to know their horse spirit. Yeah, you don't want to just assign a name willy-nilly. Guys, I feel like that's a good time for us to stop for this evening. Oh, I'm gonna keep going. I know, I know. I have, I don't, I don't want to get into a thing that, like, we won't be able to finish. What's up, listeners? Kelsey here. Just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you can help us out by heading over to patreon.com/danddr. Every little bit counts in helping Jason and Bree continue to put so much of their time and energy into the show. And if you can't or don't want to give us money, that's totally cool.

You can still help us out a ton by heading over to iTunes and giving us a review. Doesn't have to be long or anything, but it actually is a huge boost to the podcast and helps to get the word out so more people can find us. We appreciate your support so much and hey, maybe I'll see some of you at DragonCon. Hope you enjoyed the show.