Back Again

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(CLINKING) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators. Rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Howdy folks, Brianna here, and before I let you get to the newest episode of DNR, I wanted to tell you guys once more about Fantasy Coin. Now, starting from the day that this episode is posted, which is Monday the 22nd, Fantasy Coin still has 11 days left to continue getting backers.

And you could be one of them. Last time that I talked to you guys, I told you all about the cool sets that they have, but what I did not tell you was how much they cost, which seems like a pretty important thing and a really dumb thing to neglect, and also important because the deals are amazing. Right now, if you go to Fantasy Coin's Kickstarter and back them, you can get an entire set of these coins, which is 30 coins for only $14. And I cannot tell you what a great deal that is. You have to go and look because these are the most detailed and well thought out Fantasy Coins I have ever seen.

They are clever and they are well executed and they are beautiful, and I really think that you all would love them very, very much. So go check them out on Kickstarter, back them if you can, because they are a great company, and these coins are just amazing. You don't want to miss out while they're on sale like this. Like I said last time, this is going to be the only time they're being offered for this cheap. So go check them out, and I hope that you enjoy the episode. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master.

Going around the table, starting with Mac. Hi, I'm Mac, and I play Kaluna Volgaris, the Wild and Shaman. And Jasper. I'm Jasper, I play Maric Ethelred, Human Cleric. And Eric. Eric here, and I play Ordon King Shield, Dwarven Knight. And Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna, and I play Thanos, the Gith's Arise Scion. And Izzy. Hey, I'm Izzy, and I play Una, the Half-Elf Paladin. And Jason, when you said "Let's" it sounded like "Bleeeeet" at first it was horrifying. That's how it sounds literally every single time I say it the exact same way. Maybe I just wasn't used to it.

You've got to build up that callous again. That's the... I must say the thing from the breeze. Nope, no, let's move on. Moving on! Daddy, I want your- Stop it! No! Bad Bree! That's a bad Bree. Delete the entire recording, get started. You know what, I'll see you guys on Saturday. That's it, we're over. I feel like I missed something. You did. Glad. I mean, can you really call it "missing"? Guys, last time on the show, a very long overdue conversation. When I post the episode, it's a very long overdue conversation. Talk about the seal, what you guys actually plan on doing, intend on doing, how to get to the seal, what you intend to do when you got there.

And there was a bit of a debate. Ordon kind of falls on the side of absolutely releasing the gods from their prisons. That's the course. Everyone else is a little on the fence. And why would we be better off? That type of conversation. You guys talk to Barden, Barden Amdyr the dwarf, who is going to guide you to the seal and get you to Kion. You've given him a few weeks to sort of get a boat together, get things ready. You're going to be using one of the ships from House Dragonkeep. And he's getting on that. Toward the end of the episode, Una and Julie join the group again.

And what I'd like to do is pick up pretty much where we left off. It is the 11th of Thorim. The entire group is here together. What would you guys like to do here? I know you guys discussed going to Uminiro. Is there something you'd like to catch up on before that? Is there anything that you think is important enough? Or is it pretty much just time is of the essence, let's go, we can catch up on the road, that type of thing? Really quick, guys. Just an overview. Did we talk about the need for one Sion to be sacrificed? That was something that Merrick specifically left out so that Brie could tell you, if I remember correctly.

It was that and the werewolf thing you do not know about yet. We had that discussion, but you were missing from it. Okay, cool. So everything else we all know and whatnot. Right. Everybody's got the upload. Except for those details. Except for those two things. Minor issues. Not a big deal. Tiny little things. Not even a big deal. Won't come back to bite us in the ass or anything. Not at all. Never. Or the face. I feel like Merrick at this point would just be thankful because he's been waffling and not sure what to do. And that's just his trying to come to terms with trying to figure out how to help everybody get to a plan and doesn't know what to do.

And he's conflicted himself. So he's just going to start getting prepared. He's going to take all of his belongings and put them out on the bed and get them all just right and get all the right supplies. And he's going to be in packing up to go to Uminyura mode. That's it. Okay. Sort of in contemplation too. Right? By himself. So this is probably a party-wide thing. People are prepping to get ready here. What time was it when we had the conversation? That was morning, like middle of the day type of thing. Okay. This was pretty early in the day. So we would leave today.

We wouldn't spend another night here and then leave in the morning? We certainly can. There's not a huge rush, but we just need to- I think Merrick would just be like, "I'm going to get my shit together and be ready for us to go." I think he would probably want to relax for the day, just rest up and then take off in the morning or something. That's what he would want to do. Okay. I need to express that to the rest of the party. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm not saying it sort of vaguely. He's like, "I'm going to go pack and I think we should just go ahead and just leave in the morning.

Let's get some rest. Let's- Una's back. I'm sure you need to tidy up, take a shower. I don't know. Something. But let's leave at first light." Okay. Una's going to look a little offended at take a shower because I'm sure she's fucking disgusting because they've been hiking in wilderness for two weeks and just nasty as hell and then immediately came here. But she will still, nevertheless, look offended at the suggestion that she take a shower. Merrick will just shrug. And kind of point in the direction of wherever the showers are at Hell's Draught and be like, "Whatever.

There they are." Julie would not even- It wouldn't even be a thing that's like, "Yeah. Yeah." Like, well aware. All right. Una will go take a shower then. Better to do that and then have conversations while clean. What would Ordon be doing? I think Ordon is trying not to think ahead to where they're headed because everything here is bad. He's upset about the possibility of a boat ride. He's upset about going to Umineiro even though he knows it's the right thing to do. He's probably already pretty well packed. I don't imagine that he made himself at home. So I think he'd just be wandering aimlessly around the house just trying to think about anything other than what's coming.

Okay. What about Thanatos? She probably would have just gone back to her room and packed the few things she has. I think she has maybe one change of clothes or whatever. And if there's time, she might go looking around. I don't know. Oh my god. Don't worry. She'll let Kaluna know. That's like, "Oh my god." That's like bringing your dog as a chaperone. It's Shaggy and Scooby Team. That actually would work really well considering all the ghost shit that happened. Except Thanatos was not scared. She was just pissed off and tried to punch ghosts. I picture Thanatos holding a giant sandwich, like 14 layers of sandwich.

Sorry. So how about we do this? How about we jump forward in time a little bit? Have a nice portion of the day go. Everyone's packing up, getting ready. It's a long road trip, right? Because you're not taking Amara. My understanding was you're pretty much going to be... Not on foot, but you'll probably be taking horses, something like that. Yeah, definitely. Do we have horses? Tessie will give me two. Freckles. Didn't Freckles die? No. I swear to god, Jason. I'm a horrible braggy desk. Can I go horsey shopping? Here's the thing. It's up to you, but there's a carriage that Tessie would let you borrow.

A carriage, you say? Could you describe this carriage to us in extreme detail? Down to the stitching, yeah. Does it look nicer than a certain carriage that another group might have? You know what it is? It's way nicer. You know what? Here's what we'll do. It's entirely lined with crushed velour, inside and out. It's made of Zap Brannigan's tunic. The horses are hooved with suede. Oh wow. That is... You know what we'll do? This is a loner carriage from House Dragonkeep, right? Let's have one of you roll a D20 to see what kind of carriage it's gonna be. I got this.

Dude, boy. Come on, come on. Okay. 13. It's like a covered wagon. What are we gonna expect? We're not going first class first class. Here's the thing. First of all, this is pretty roomy for the party. There's a couple seats up front. It's really impressive considering the party. Considering the party. This is the suburban of carriages. Nice and lengthy. It's not the most luxurious. It's not all crushed velour and stuff like that. It is a little cushy in the back where the seats are kind of padded. You can lay down in the back and show up. There's a little more leg room than there needs to be.

You're not flying coach here, guys. There's some room to stretch out. There's room for two people to sit up front and drive. Or one person, whatever. But other people can sort of just chill out. There's plenty of room for supplies. Things like that. This is a lengthy carriage. Is the door wide enough to get a dwarf in it? Well, yeah. Unless it's a particularly husky dwarf. How husky are you, Eric? Wow. Is that a dwarven stereotype I didn't know about? I feel like I should have known about it. Dwarf daddy. Oh no. He's spreading. Yes! It's like an infection. I don't know why I thought I had gotten through the worst of it already.

That was silly. The worst of it is always to come. Yes, it is. To come, you say? You know, in spurts. I've never been happier. This is the best day of my life. I'm gonna go through it, everyone. So Tessie would set you guys up with this wagon and it is free to use. There isn't as much responsibility placed on this wagon as, say, Amara. So it's not like, "Hey, please don't let..." I mean, obviously, try to get the wagon back in one piece. But let's say something horrible were to happen to you guys on the road. Something horrible is gonna happen to us, guys. We don't know that for sure.

In terms of speed, I know in real life or whatever, wagons/carriages move slower than people on horseback. Is that a thing in this world? Because of the size of this wagon. It's a little slower than if you guys were to just take horses, but faster than if you were walking. The thing is, it has room for all of your stuff, so you don't have to carry it on your back, you don't have to load down horses. And at the same time, you can kind of relax. It'll be easier on your bodies to make the trip this way. I'm down for carriages. I should totally do this. Why not do this?

Especially if the point is to bring it back. Then we've got cushiness back and forth. How many horses is it drawn by? In case the wagon is destroyed somehow, which I totally assume it's going to be. Two very large horses. Nice. What the fuck? Seriously? Yep. Super. Are they magical? No. Well, if you remember, in Theria, there's horses that are larger than Clydesdales. They're meant to carry minotaurs and shit like that. These are big horses. I forgot about those horses. Big! I'm into this. I love it. I'm down. Can you tell me what the color of the inside of this is?

I absolutely can. It's kind of a beige. It's very run-of-the-mill. That's a shame. Well, it's like a starter. Well, it's a starter apartment type thing. The walls and carpet are always beige. Oh, I see. Right. Neutral colors. Right. So after we use it, they're going to repaint it beige. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, probably. They'll rip out the upholstery. Yeah, we have to fix the nail holes and stuff. Yeah. The inspector will be around. Fine. I'm still into this. I think it's okay, even though the beige is not my favorite. I hear it hung up on the beige. So... This is where I draw the line.

Theria can burn! Yeah, no thanks, Tessia. Demons are your friends. We can paint it with blood. How about that? Oh. Ooh. Nice. A nice bright red to start fades to a gentle copper brown. A gentle burgundy. And you know what? It's not getting out of there. Once it sets, it's there. Who knew? Who knew? No baking soda and vinegar in this world. So are we... So, that's great. So we're going to, of course, accept this, I think, right? Is there anything else that needs to happen today? Does anybody want to talk to anybody else? Or anything before we sort of rest up for the night and take off?

Probably should talk to people? The only thing that I can think of is that Merrick's just going to make sure that there's provisions that are above and beyond, you know, stale bread and old cheese. So, that's going to make sure. That is true. That's not hard. Yeah, you guys are going to be set off in the right way. I would like to seek out Thanos, if that's cool. Sweet. How long has this been? I'd say a few hours. Like, people getting ready and stuff. And one of the things that Tessie is working on is getting you guys some maps and things like that. Just kind of making sure you guys have everything you need.

Plus, you have no idea how long that shower must have taken. There was weeks of grime. Man, just getting under her fingernails, just scraping it off. Thanos probably would have told Kaluna that she was just going to go wander around and be doing that. She's not going to go back downstairs, so part of me really wants to because there's that room she hasn't explored yet. Okay. I don't really want to do it, but okay. Una will go wandering around after looking for Thanos. I'm assuming for the sake of story it's not going to take her forever to find her. No, nothing like that.

Just kind of wandering around the house. You'll see her just basically touching things that she probably shouldn't be allowed to. Just like, "What's this?" Just lifting it up off the counter and things like that. Out of character. I think I know more about Thanos than Una knows about Thanos. They literally just were introduced and she knows that she's a psion, right? I don't think we introduced her as a psion. Merrick's the one who introduced her and she just said she's strong or something. I can't remember, but I think there was some insinuation that Brie and Thanos had a lot in common or something like that.

But I feel like it wasn't like, "Oh, hey, you're a psion." It might be a... Connect the dots kind of situation. Yeah, what's up with you? Cool. That will be pretty much exactly what Una asks. So just kind of find Thanos and just like, kind of give her the little up and down kind of glance. Just like, "So what's your deal? How old are you?" Thanos will put down whatever she had been holding and shrug. "Doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter what your deal is or it doesn't matter how old you are." "How old I am." "Okay, then what's your deal?" "What do you mean?" "Why are you here?

What do you do? You don't seem to be carrying any large weapons. You don't seem decked out in armor." Thanos is kind of like, "Oh, yeah, okay." "And I'm a psion." And she's kind of not sure if Una knows what that means. So she's like waiting, "Do you need that elaborated on or..." So Una's eyebrows are going to raise because I'm pretty sure psions are rare, right? That's like an established thing. She's going to look kind of impressed. Visibly, so not just to herself. She's actually visibly impressed. You seem pretty young to be wielding that sort of power.

I mean, from what I understand, it doesn't really matter how old you are. It's just a thing that happens. How do you handle it? For like half a second, Thanos is going to look thrown off as if her face is kind of saying, "I don't really well." But then she immediately recovers. Like, no, not going to admit that. I don't... I just do. I'm just going to look skeptical. Do I have to roll some sort of perception check to see if I notice her face doing that or anything like that? You can roll insight. Insight. Oh my god, this is like my first roll. Where the fuck is insight?

I feel so special. I get to take Izzy's dice virginity. Well. 18. So, yeah? What does that fucking mean? 18? Is that good enough? No? Yes? I was answering this question. It would help if I unmute. I'm sorry. I was answering it like I said yes. I don't know what you want from me. 18, yeah, you'd kind of notice that hesitation. Okay, so, Una like scooches a little bit closer and just like, "Look, I mean, I know Brie and her powers really take a toll on her. You can't tell me they're not doing the same for you." As Una inches forward, Thanos is going to kind of take like a half step back, like leave room for Jesus.

Some older lesbian trying to seduce you? She doesn't know that yet. Oh, that's a good point. So no, just personal space. And she'll just kind of shrug like, "I can handle it." Can I do- is that obviously a lie? Can I insight check that again? I would say that one's more of a like teenager being a teenager. She's like, "Whatever." Like I'd say that one's more that. Like she's not- like she's trying to bluff but like not doing- not paying enough attention to actually qualify for a role to bluff, you know? Like, sure. Yeah, whatever. Can I roll a diplomacy check on you?

Everyone in the group wishes they could, but no. I just have to try me myself. If that worked, Merrick would have- Una will kind of give her like a look like- that look that you have like once you've like just gotten over teenagehood and you realize how shitty teenagers are. Yeah, I know exactly what that look is. And say, "Look, I'd really appreciate it if you could just be like 50% honest about what this is about, you know? Because I kind of want to know if you can handle this, you should be giving Bree some tips because I really care about her and I don't really care about you and I want this information." Santos is going to, like as you're speaking, slowly like her muscles are going to tense more and her hands are going to turn into fists.

No scion power! Sling it, okay. But like slowly getting visibly pissed off and not even attempting to hide it, kind of glaring daggers and then just like- I've been fighting since I was a child. I can fucking handle it. Fighting what? Everything. Ooh, troubled childhood. Those are so much fun. What exactly did you fight? Your first fight? You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine. I don't remember. That young. Una's going to look like, "Oh, God, that's creepy." The first fight you remember then? I'm curious. I want to know. Let's get to know each other. Like, obviously sarcastic.

A draug. Do I have to do a nature or something check to know what a draug is? I would say yes. Okay. Because I'm not really native to it. History, nature, what can I do here with this? You could pick one or the other because it's not really native to the mainland, so give me a nature, probably. I got a higher nature anyway. I'm not a teen. Essentially, really large creature, native to Talor, at its smallest, hovering right around the size of a smart car. And then at its largest, much, much larger than that. I'm picturing a warg from Lord of the Rings. Kind of, yeah.

You're on the right track, but at its largest it gets to the size of a city bus. Oh, Jesus fuck. Yeah, it's huge. So that general shape scaled up? Yes. Okay. They're not magical, they're like... No, they're just really big. They're just rich monsters? Yeah. Talor is filled with that shit. What the fuck is Talor? Lots changed since you... That's the island I come from. Yeah, it's a whole other continent. There's other continents. It's shaped like a happy eel. Damn it. He's like, "Hi guys!" Dude, it's not even finished and it's already ruined. Do the people of Talor have a distinctive look?

Would I be able to tell, like, looking at her that she's from Talor? Oh yeah, the Githserai... I'm green. Ahh! Yes. That's helpful. Yes. Is she different race? What are you? Githserai. I'm a Githserai. I don't know what that is, but alright. See my picture? I'm green. Is it an orchi human? Orchi elf-y type thing. Okay. Half-breed. Alright, no, I'm kidding. Wow. Racist. Mind blood. You're a half-elf! What a cute little nickname for you. No. Okay, so you say that it's drunk. Yeah. So I would know this from Talor and I know what they are and they're fucking horrified. Yeah, you've never seen it, but it's like, "I have heard about that." Okay, so it'll be extremely impressed now.

So, like, not even, "Oh, you're a teenager. That's pretty good for a teenager." You're like, "Oh my god, that's amazing for anybody." And she will say as much. So, let's see. I should have said it like, "Fuck." That's it. Fantas is going to immediately look very proud. Like, "Yeah, fuck." When you kind of lighten up and it's not as heavy, she'll be like, "What about you?" Oh god, nothing like a frog. I killed some rats that were gnawing at my mom. That's pretty much it. That's the first thing I remember. Yeah. Fantas is kind of going to be like, "Fuck." Because there's really only one way a rat would be gnawing on your mom.

For the most part. She also says, "Fuck, that's cute." Yeah, kind of, like, not as loud and boisterous as you. Just like, "Fuck." Like, that's fucked up. So, yeah, I can fight. That's very clear. Um, do you have any, I don't know, other skills? Fantas is actually going to look lost at that because she's like, "Oh, yeah. No." I can fight. That's why she's actually going to look a little lost for a second because she really doesn't have anything beyond that. And she's never thought about that so much. She's just been like, "Well, that'll get me through shit." And that's the first time anyone's been like, "So what else can you do?" And she's like, "Oh." So then finally she'll just kind of decide on, like, "What else do you need?" Eh, you know, a glibed tongue doesn't hurt occasionally.

Brains. Something I certainly don't have. My friend Jadzia used to travel with us and she was brilliant. And I don't know if anyone else in our group will be able to fill that role exactly. Fantas can kind of look over her shoulder like, "Are any of them behind me?" "Yeah, no." Uno kind of like grinned like, now that they're in on it. So she'll be like, "So what about this dwarf, Ordon? What's his shtick?" He doesn't seem too talkative. I mean, neither do you, but... I don't know much about him, to be honest. He takes hits pretty well, keeps people distracted, and is kind of a dick.

So Uno smiles like, "Wow, that sounds like me. Okay." "I don't think we'll get along." She will chuckle like that. That'll be in character. Oh, God, I just use the word "chuckle." I want to... Not okay. Is that as bad as cummies? Oh! God damn it. You know, we should be like timing it. Like, what the longest period of time we can get in between cummies are. Well, if you have Gatorade, it's... Sorry. Sorry! I love how long that took. Well, I mean, Merrick's kind of obsessed with this being like a family or whatever, and she's gonna actually use the finger quotes.

Oh, such a teenager. Family or whatever. So bourgeois. Honestly, it just seems like we're just a bunch of fucking idiots wandering around, talking about gods, and... I mean, whatever, it'll work, but it's a thing. Suguna's gonna bite back laughter and say, "Honestly, a bunch of fucking idiots wandering around and talking about stupid shit is basically what a family is." So... He's not incorrect. Okay, how long have you been part of this group anyway? Jason, I love having been a part of this group anyway. It's been like a week since I saw them, so like three days?

I don't fucking know. Nah, it's been something approaching my five, maybe like some days like that. Five, I'm almost six. Days or weeks? Days, not weeks. Jason, could you give me the name of the day that Thanatos would have arrived? Like, you know how we say like Saturday, but theory is all stupid and it doesn't have Saturdays? Wow! It looks like Thanatos' first episode was 135, which took place on the fourth of Thorim. Oh wow, so it's been way more. Seven days? Yeah, seven days. Seven days! Okay, so it's been exactly a week. Yep. So what is the name of the day that is today, slash the day that also Thanatos got here?

Uh, Roche. Roche. Roche, okay. Roche. How am I gonna make that sound normal in a sentence? You don't have to, like, keep it vague if you want. I was gonna, but I'm not gonna now. Yeah, keep it vague, it's fine. Yeah. Been about a week? Yeah, I don't think a week is long enough to get used to this nonsense, but I mean, you'll get there eventually, hopefully. Yeah, that would be really annoying to deal with. So your friend's- It's a joke, she's joking. Oh. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, go ahead, you do your thing. Oh no, I was just clarifying that it was a joke. Oh, okay.

So Thanatos, like, there's gonna be a little bit of a pause and she's gonna be like, "Hmm, okay." So you're friends with Brianna? Uh... We want to look at the same character. Pulling on her collar. So, like, Una's gonna have another shower and has, like, she's got super long hair so it's still wet, so she's like, been like, you know, scrunching it up to dry it a little bit, and she'll just kind of like dig her hands into her hair, just like, "Ugh!" Well, here, let me put it this way, if the beds are rockin', don't come a-knockin'. Wait, and also, hang on, you say Una had long hair?

Yes. No, 'cause- Oh no, she cut it off. Mohawk. No, 'cause Barrick ripped it and cut it all off and you have a mohawk. Fuck, how long has it been since that happened? A couple of months. Not long enough for it to grow back. Alright, okay, so... Una got a wig, she's very self-conscious. Stop mentioning it. I forgot about the mohawk, that's awesome. It's bright blue. Okay, so she will just do the thing that, like, guys do, like, teenage boys, when they're nervous and they run their hand through, like, their little- Oh yeah! Their little, like, fluff hair. 'Cause they'll- I hate when guys do that, but the idea of a woman doing that to a mohawk is better.

See, right? Exactly. Sexist. I should say, um... we're, uh... we're close. I'm wondering if Fantas would insight check that or not. I honestly don't think she gives a shit. She's gonna just be like, "Cool, okay, you're close," and just accept that at face value. Sweet. Is she gonna be alright? So any, like, the sheepish, like, somewhat awkwardness is gonna, like, immediately vanish, um, and Una's going to look extremely concerned. Honestly, I don't know. Like, 98% of what I think about is, is she gonna be alright? So after saying that, like, it's kind of that thing where you vocalize, like, what's in your head, and then you're like, "Oh god, that's not okay to think about," and so Una's face will scrunch up, like, that, like, kind of weird, like, "Uh, am I gonna cry?

I don't know what this face is." And she would, like, just kind of, like, look extremely shifty and uncomfortable. Well, I mean, she seemed fine after fighting in the bar, like, she didn't turn into a wolf or anything, so that's good. So, Una will have started shouting, "What?" but, like, nothing's coming out. It's just like, "Hwah-gahhh." Social, like, clear throat, just like, "What?" And Thanos is gonna, like, kind of hesitate, like, she wasn't sure she did, because she doesn't understand what werewolves really are, because they don't have them on Talor so much.

She only knows, like, second and third hand information about it. Yeah, I mean, that's what's supposed to happen when she gets angry now, right? And it didn't happen, so maybe it just won't. So, Una's gonna grab Thanos by, like, the hand/wrist, like, not thinking about if that's dangerous to do with a scion or anything like that, turn and just, like, a "Breeeee!" and start sprinting down the hallway trying to find her. Given the nature of the grab, I don't think Thanos would fight back too much, like, it's not, like, a pin-her-down grab, it's a grab and pull, and that actually is a huge difference for her, so she'll be fine with it.

Yeah, Bree wouldn't be hard to find. As soon as you call out, it would pretty much be popping out into the hallway, like, "What? What's wrong?" So, Una will have built up a significant momentum, just, like, sprinting down the hallway. So, she'll have to, like, slide to, like, a hall, just kind of, like, fumbling with Thanos to, like, make sure that they both stay upright. And then she'll just, like, pull Thanos in front of her and, like, push her towards Bree and say, "This little girl just told me that you're a fucking werewolf!" Alright, before Bree gets to respond, Thanos is gonna go, "What did you just call me?" But you can feel free to ignore that.

Uh, yeah, I'll ignore that. You know that, um, you know that face you get when, like, your mouth contorts your eyes closed, like, "Fuuuuuck!" Like, just, like, completely silent, but then just, like, just, like, briefly look at Thanos like, "You're killing me, Smalls! Like, what are you doing?" Like, "Okay, I was kind of hoping you'd have a little more time to settle in before we have a heavier conversation. Do you wanna maybe talk privately about this?" So Una will be in, like, full panic mode. Um, so this is not like, "Oh, yeah, okay, like, I should probably settle down and have a conversation with my girlfriend about this disease that she's carrying." It's more like a, "No!

Fuck! What?" So she's just gonna be like, "No! No, I don't want to have a private conversation. I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on!" Just kind of like, she's gently, like, not, like, shaking Thanos like she's, like, angry with her, but just kind of like the passion and, like, fear is just kind of like, she's kind of like jostling Thanos around. Thanos is gonna kind of be looking between the two of you and, like, kind of realizing, like, "Okay, this is a bigger deal than I thought." Even though, like, everyone knows it's a big deal, she still hasn't gotten it.

Teenager? Oh, God. It's like someone's like, "Oh, no, I'm turning into a flumblydorf." Like, it's like, I don't know what that is. Like, is that bad? Brie, I'm so impressed with your ability to play a teenager so perfectly. Like, thank you, I've been listening to a lot of good Charlotte. [Laughter] This is the end of the show! Oh, my God, what? And hearts are cool! Oh, God. But then she's gonna look to Brie and be like, "I told her about how the witch's spell or whatever keeps it from happening, so, I mean, it's good, right?" What? And look over to Una, like, yeah.

Another look, like, just kind of look up and roll to your eyes, like, fucking shut up! Like, you're killing me! Just not helping! Alright, you remember when me and Poe took off for Lockford? And it was like, Nod, and like, there's something crystallizing in her eyes, and it's very clear, like, I'm gonna kill Poe. She's not saying it, but you can see it in her face. Look, things were way worse there than what we thought they were, and we, uh, I ended up taking the party in and hunting the rest of the werewolves there, and I got bitten in the process. Wasn't Poe's fault, he wasn't even there, it had nothing to do with him.

It just... it was just bad luck. So, Una will be silent, and her mouth is just getting smaller and smaller, and just tighter, and closer to her teeth. I said, "Well, that's fine, that's not, yeah, that's fine, just run off after werewolves. That's not like your life is the most important thing in the world or anything like that, and, you know, like, your death would kill me, and I would run off into the wilderness and die horribly and alone, and everything would be the worst forever, and yeah, that's fine, just, yeah. Werewolves, of course, fighting, helping people, yeah, because that's... fuck you." We had to make a decision on the spot, there wasn't, there wasn't a ton we can do.

There's not much of that town left. So Una's gonna like, gently shove Thanos aside, and just like grab Brie's shoulders and say, "It doesn't matter what the fuck happens to anything else. You have to realize, you can't do shit like that. Ever." I'm responsible for them. Everything that happened to that group, it's my fault. I'm the one who gave them the orders to go there, I'm the one who told them to report back, I'm... that's on me. No, that's on them, that's their fucking job. You give someone a job, they go and they do it, or they die. It doesn't matter what happens to them, it only matters what happens to you, and you don't seem to realize that what happens to you happens to me.

What happens to you negatively or positively affects everything, and when you go running off like that, and you fucking fight werewolves because some piece of shit adventurers couldn't get their stuff together, that's... I'm almost glad I was gone, because if I was there, I would have lost my fucking mind. I can't just distance myself from that. That was... there wasn't many of them that made it out to begin with, and I still... Last time I heard they were going to the Overwatch, I need to check in to find out if they got there safe, but... I hope they all died.

Fuck 'em. Just irrationally angry. I mean, I think Santos is going to laugh out loud, not even trying to hide it. Like, Bree would look over to Santos like, "Come on." Bree would kind of reach up and grab Una's arm. "You know you don't mean that." They haven't even met them. They didn't... they're trying to do the right thing. Just like... like, if someone said that about your friends, like, if they said that about Jadzia, how would you feel if someone said that they hoped that she died? I wouldn't care what they feel, because I'd kill them. Kind of missing my point.

I'm intentionally missing your point. You are missing mine. You can't do stuff like that. What in fuck's name possessed you to think, like, "Oh, you know, I'll run after werewolves, I'll get bitten, some crazy witch magic will protect me, and then Una will lose her goddamn mind and want to rip her own heart out when she finds out." Okay, I wasn't exactly planning on getting bitten. It's an inherent risk! You don't even wear armor! I wear leather. Baaaa! Like, do that thing that your parents do and like you just say some stupid shit and they just like look the other way and just like, "I gotta look at a wall because I'm gonna punch someone." You're just like...

Santa's just gonna mumble like, "Leather's nice." I'm gonna sit down and start. No, leather. Like, I like leather. It's cool. Well, as long as you're pissed, I got more bad news for you. Uh, Una's gonna get like, like, the Fury will kind of like, damp down and just kind of turn to her like that, like the sad puppy dog eyes. She's like, "Fuck, please, I can't handle more." Um, but not say that, obviously. Like, Thanatos was saying, and just kind of look over at Thanatos like, "Thank you. Thank you very much." Thanatos is like nodding like, "Yeah. Glad to be the help, yeah." "Glad you could facilitate this.

This has been very entertaining." The thing the witch did to me, the feigny spiderweb thing on my arm, that's no longer just on my arm. And I think that is stopping me from turning. At least it felt that way earlier than the bar. I can't really describe it, but it's something. As soon as they're utterly defeated by now. Fuck. Awesome. Creepy black magic spreading. Controlling what curses do to you or don't do to you. That's... And she's gonna like, smush her forehead up against the door jam, just like, can't even handle it. She's gonna go to open her mouth like, "Oh, there's more." But then just kind of think better of it and just close her mouth.

Do I have to do an insight check to see if I saw that? Yeah, go ahead. 29. Yes, I saw that. Alright, so Una will catch that out of the corner of her eye. Okay, just get it over with. Okay. This seal thing. Before you got here, we were having a healthy debate about what should we do when we get there, whether we open it or just keep anyone else from opening it. No matter what we decide, unless we're just going to stand guard and make sure no one can get to it to free the demons, a scion has to die. At least that's what it looks like from the books. Una just looks over at Thanos.

And then look at Brienne and be like, "Well, fuck, I just bonded with her." Bummer. Oh, does Thanos notice that? Oh yeah. It's obviously dark humor because there's just too much shit, so it's like, "Well, why does well make fun of everything?" Brie would just be doing the really shallow head shake, like, "No." She just blows up half the house. No. But then when that comes up, she's gonna get serious and go, "We're not going to open it. Not unless some other scion comes forward and wants to kill their stupid self." And she's gonna kind of glance at Brie really quickly and the subtext is, "Don't." We're still talking about it.

Alright. Okay. Perfect. We don't open it. We just kill any fuckers who try, and if we haven't found a douchebag scion in the process, we'll murder them. Sounds good. Alright. And we're just gonna take off down the hallway, just like that fast walk you do when you're having some feels and you don't want people to see. Just disengaging completely. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because it would be a thing where she would go to speak again and it's like, "Goodbye. Okay. Alright." Thanos is going to look like someone had just given her six dozen cookies. He's like, "Cool. We're in complete agreement on this subject." And then kind of just look over at Brie and be like, "I like her." And then also walk away.

She- Brie won't push it anymore. It'll just be like, "Yeah, that's productive. Awesome." That's good. Is there like a garden or some shit to just go chill in? Oh yeah. This is, uh, yeah. They've actually remodeled a lot of the outside. It's not nearly as many headstones and stuff. Delightful. Una will wander out there. What about the rest of the party? What's the rest of the party up to? Kaluna's just sunbathing, man. Playing with butterflies that they happen to show up. Just like, "Yeah." Is Kaluna a Disney prince/princess/gender neutral? Gender neutral title.

Noblewoman? Noblewoman? Nobleperson? Nobleperson. Who fucking knows? It's actually just noble if there's no gender. Ah, cool. But that doesn't work for Disney noble. It doesn't really conjure the same image that I was going for. A Disney royal. I couldn't roll that arm. I tried so hard. Royal. I can't roll ours either. It's okay. Anyway, I hope they say no. I can't. I just picked up. What about Ordon? Um, I think Ordon would actually be tracking down David in order to get some writing material. He needs to send a letter back to Stone Sunder. Okay. That would not be hard at all.

Yeah, there's plenty of that all over. Is that a conversational thing, or just like, "I need this"? It's pretty much just, "I need this." Okay. So yeah, he would get you that. That would literally take two seconds. Like, "Oh yeah. That's fine." I guess I'd ask him also, you know, could he mail it for me when I'm done? See that it gets delivered? Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, they got lots of outgoing mail. That's no problem. Great. Though with Stone Sunder, it's not like that's the normal mailing route. That would take a little extra time. But yeah, there are people who are in contact with, like, it's a civilized place.

You have to give us a divide. There's no rush, so... Right. What about Merrick? I think he is truly trying to... because he's been... Merrick's complicated. He really wants to be able to be a leader. He also doesn't know what the fuck to do, because he's conflicted. He doesn't know if he even believes in anything that's going on, but he's kind of on board, and then Oona's gone, and now she's back, and whatever. So he's just focusing on packing and getting ready. Like, there's just not much else for him to care about right now. I think he's just trying to make life very simple.

Okay. At what time of the day would it be, approximately? Now about... Afternoon. Like, 3, 4, somewhere in there. Eventually he would come out and try to make some food for people, or something. You know, just make some food for himself, but make enough for everybody. But I don't think he's trying to... he's not trying to engage. The plan is kind of set, and I think he's just kind of going into safety mode. Okay. Like, rebooting into safe mode. Let me ask you guys a question. As a group, do you want to just kind of, like, fast forward to the next day, and just say that everybody is kind of getting their shit together, getting ready for this big journey, and then we load up in the cart and start on our way to Omanyura?

I was just gonna, like, maybe have a quick, hopefully, actually quick chat with Ordon. Okay. So, what the fuck was Ordon doing? Like, he was talking to David? I probably would have retired to my room to write a little missive that I'm gonna be mailing off. Okay. I don't know which one is your room. They don't have little name placards, do they? David would know. Ask David. It's the one that says "badass motherfucker" on it. And I'm gone. You could ask literally anyone, and they'd be like, "Oh yeah, we're just staying over there." That is true. Alright. So, David, but make sure you go, "Hey David, that person I know.

Totally know them. Totally know that guy David." Like, "Hey David buddy." Guy I've already met. Person I totally didn't forget. Wait, did David know who the fuck I was? Yeah, Uno will find Ordon's room somehow, and knock on it. Come in. Oh, nice. Who did the little knock? It's out of effect there. Who did that? Oh, nice. I decided to do the folly work for everyone. Save some time later. So, Uno would rather sheepishly open the door, because it feels weird to walk into people's rooms. But she's just kind of like pokerhead, and just like, "Hey, can we have a chat?" Sure, and he'll stand up and approach Azuna.

What do you want to talk about? So, I already had a conversation with Thanatos, who I'm assuming is about 14, but I have no fucking idea. She wouldn't tell me. And I'm hoping this conversation is going to go a little more smoothly, but I just kind of wanted to know, like, what's your whole thing? I mean, dwarf obviously, no offense. Why are you here? I stumbled upon the party in a most unlikely location, and realized that we have sort of the same goals. At least have the same destination in mind. And, you know, we've been watching each other's backs since then.

So, Uno's going to look kind of like amazed, and say, "You were onto this whole gods seal thing?" Well, I didn't know anything about the seal, and the whole gods being trapped thing is new to me too. But I've known the gods were, well, at least some of the gods had withdrawn from us, so I've been looking. And the party was going, there was a library that had a whole bunch of information, and everything makes sense. And it kept me out of Umineiro, although that looks like it was temporary. Sorry, did you say kicked or kept me out of Umineiro? Kept. Oh, okay.

Sorry, that was not in character. I just, fucking the earrings are dumb. So, Uno will nod, like, all this kind of makes sense. So, how did you come to the conclusion that the gods had vacated their posts? I mean, I had to die to figure it out, so how the fuck did you? Everything is going to shit. I used to... My mother was a cleric, and she was Morden's biggest devotee, and everything was in his name and by his power. But I realized that nobody was speaking to him, no one was carrying messages from him, it was all past tense. I walked away from life in the military, I took up crafting, I tried to hide from the fact that his presence was missing.

But we're not even making the wondrous things we used to make. The weapons are... they're good, but they're not wondrous. We... There's no inspiration, there's no divinity in our work. Something needs to be fixed, whether we need to repair a broken relationship or whether they really are locked away. Something needs to change. So when you mentioned wondrous weapons, Uno's gonna be like, nodding, everything you're saying is making sense to her. And she's gonna be like, "Hey, you wanna see some shit?" And she will pull out Kord's fury and just kinda like, gently offer it to Orden, just to like, look at.

Obviously it's not an offering like, "Oh, it's yours now!" But just kinda like a... he's a dwarf, it's a fucking war hammer. Potentially interested in it. Jason! Yeah? Do I know of it? Give me a history or religion. Let's see, what do we have here... Oh, they're both the same, so... And why did I get two? Either of those are awesome! It's doing that thing that it did again, where I... Well, we'll take the first roll. First roll is way better anyway, so... A crit! Yep. Yep, yep, yep. You would definitely know what that was, yeah. So, Orden's eyes will go wide, and he'll slowly reach out his hands, and he won't take it from Una, but he's clearly hoping she hands it over.

Yeah, Una will like, put it into his hands, like, "Yeah, you can mess around with it, dude." Orden will just be, like, a smile that has not been on his face in the longest time will just light up. And he'll clasp two-handed grip... Aye! Sorry. He'll step back away from Una, he'll take a couple practice swings with it... And he'll put it through a little routine. This is glorious. Where did you find this? So Una will watch this display like a proud mother, like when someone holds your baby, and they're like, "Oh my god, this is the most beautiful child!" And you're just like, "Yes, it is." So she got this from Kael'thorin, right?

Like, I'm not misremembering that? Yep. Okay. So, how long ago was that? Can you give me a rough estimate? Oh boy, let's see. Sorry. No, no, I'm thinking. This would probably be over a month ago, I'd say. Would be a fair estimate. Wait, really? Only a month? Over a month. I'd have to check the wiki for an exact date, but this is before the war, this is before... You guys are just leaving the Overwatch. This is... It's gotta be way more than a month, right? Probably, yeah. If you give me a second, I can find an exact date for you. Yeah, it's fine. I'll just be vague as fuck.

And she'll look kinda smug, kinda prideful. I received it from the Horde of the Dragon Kael'thorin. Not too long ago, actually, but it feels like I've been wielding it for a very long time. I can imagine, I can believe that, just feeling its power and it's... And he'll almost quickly hand it back, like he doesn't want to get too attached to it, like... You've... You killed Kael'thorin? That was back in the day, with some people who have since left this world. But, yeah. We killed a lot of things back then. Did you encounter the other dragon that has been flying around?

Does he mean Straa? Oh, I saw. What dragon is it? Okay, so, Uno will just kinda cock an eyebrow. Amara? Well, I don't know what name it goes by, but I barely caught a good look at it through the treeline. The night I met up at the party, actually, it was massive. So Uno's gonna look intrigued. A huge white dragon? An ice dragon? And Jason, it was black and red, correct? It's Deathwing! All black with... Well, this was just all black. No, it was not white. It was black as night. So Uno's gnaws are gonna flare a little bit, like a dog smelling a squirrel or something it wants to chase.

And she'll say, "I have not encountered that beast. I would very much like..." And she'll kinda pause, remembering the last time she fought a dragon. Like, think about it for a good seven seconds. And then she'll nod, like, "Yep, I'd do it again." She's like, "I would very much like to encounter it." I used to share that thought until I saw it. That's not something I'd brush towards again. Uno will shrug. It's not that bad. I mean, you die. You face eternity without gods. You come back, destroy some shit. It's all part of life. If you say so. I think you have a lot more tales to tell.

Uno will just grin, like, "Indeed." And she'll kinda slap him on the shoulder. I probably do, but honestly, those are probably better saved for another time. It was nice talking to you. You too, Uno. Take care of that weapon. Uno will give him a fat wink and walk out the door. P-H-A-T fat? Yeah, baby fat. It's pink and it's got glitter on it. Wow. So party, guys. Guys, party. Are we getting rest for the night and then disembarking? Or are we just... two questions, I guess. One, are we doing that? And then two, is it the entire party? Meaning everybody, Uno, Bree, Julie, everyone?

Is everyone going? I think Merrick would go. I think Merrick would definitely be in the carriage. I don't think Coluno would wanna go, but they'd go. So everyone can fit into the carriage, we can all go? Yeah, it's pretty big. I mean, the question is Julie. Shotgun. Santos was gonna wanna sit in the front, too. Who's gonna drive? Wait, Santos is gonna drive. Santos is driving. Merrick would like to drive. Merrick would definitely like to drive. We can't fit three people and we already called Dibs. Dibs isn't a thing in theory. It's never been invented. So Merrick, being the oldest, gets to drive.

Being the what? Old as human. Oh, okay. You let me finish. Look, it's dangerous to drive driving wild dwarf in Brightport. Driving wild dwarf. So, we're getting some rest for the night. I would imagine there's a lovely, uncomfortable evening between Bree and Uno. They'd be so fucked up. It'd have to be uncomfortable. Okay, I'm assuming they're sharing a room. I'm assuming. I don't see why they wouldn't. Yeah, I mean, Santos was in the same room as Bree, but I mean... Just start fucking with the face next to Santos. It's happening, you can get out of his bed. I would imagine that sleeping arrangement would change, though.

I mean, Santos is probably a heavy sleeper, so... Santos and Julie can bunk. Sure, fuck it. Let's be real, though. She's not staying in that room for long. Oh, god. I can't. I can't not go into that room. I tried to fight it, but we've been here for the whole episode. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna use dungeoneering to put a trap outside of Santos' room. Just a Santos trap. You're gonna get to the point where people are going to sleep in shifts, not to look out for monsters, but to watch Santos. That's basically what we're gonna get to eventually.

Okay, that is something you'd like to do, is to try and leave? Yeah, but Santos will find Kaluna and tell Kaluna literally everything. Okay. Kaluna would have been asleep. Or would this have been, like, everyone closes the doors to go to sleep, and then you're like, "Hey, I'm gonna go do shit." Yeah, real quick before you go see Marek. Kaluna would follow. Not even like, "Oh, I'm gonna make sure you don't get in trouble." It's like, "I want to see shit too, dude. Let's go." Like, Santos will agree to that. Santos will be like, "Sweet, you're coming? All right, I can't get in trouble.

Not only did I tell someone, but they're escorting me." I have a chaperone. Yeah! And then they died. Basically. Well then, what I'd like the two of you to do is roll a stealth check for me. Oh, I'm so sorry. I've already ruined all of this. Seventeen. Don't fuck this up for me, Kaluna. I'm going to. And seventeen's not bad. Okay. Okay. Could have been worse. Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna roll a perception check for David. No! It's like every stealth mission in a video game. I never get past them. Well, it's- It's like Dahmer room. He didn't win a plus seventy-five!

Well, okay, here's the thing. This has happened enough that he's like, "Okay." It's fair. It's fair. I get it. I'm just saying. Right. We're not gonna pass it. Well, we'll see. Bridge is full of bodies. All right, let's see here. Oh, come on. Oh my god. His plus was thirteen? That's a twenty-seven for all you listeners out there. That's literally his job is to be perceptive. Like, that's his thing. It's not like- The fact that he hasn't caught Thanos yet probably even bothers him. Oh yeah? Oh yes. That's- Huh. Like, it's not like he's gonna be an acrobat. Acro- What the fuck?

Why'd I say it like that? An acrobat? And Jace has a stroke. God dammit, I taste purple. He's really good at making PDFs. Just so everyone knows, I rolled a Perception out of spite and got a thirty-three. Okay, good. You beat David. You can see him see you. I would imagine it's you guys sneaking through the house and he's just like, "No. We're not doing this tonight." Is it like when your parents stay up late after curfew? This never happened to me. But like, they're saying the armchair and then as you walk down the stairs they turn on the light? Yeah, just like, just- I'd imagine it's almost like an oil lantern or something like that.

Just like turn it up and it's like, "Mm-mm. No. We're not doing this. No." Alright, can we actually roleplay this? Because Thanos is gonna lie. That's the only other thing he's good at! Is he- Okay! We'll do it! Thanos is pretty good at lying. Okay. He's not David good at lying. We'll see. Okay. So, okay. Let's say you're coming down the stairs, right? And it's a thing where the house is pretty much silent and quiet and like, "Can I help you with anything?" Almost- You can tell that in his voice, like kind of proud of himself. Like, "Hi!" Can Kalluna just, like, from behind Thanos, just like, at David, just sort of like do a quick little wave and then like do the finger over the mouth thing like, "Shh.

We're being sneaky." Yay! How far did we get? I'd say you get to the foot of the stairs, like the bottom of it. Alright. So like, he knows where we're going. Oh god, yeah. Like, he's not stupid. Alright. I wanted to make sure that we couldn't be like, "Oh, I was just going to the kitchen." Like, we're in front of that door. "I got lost. I meant to go to the bathroom." Like, her hand is on the doorknob or something. Thanos is gonna kind of just jump a little bit because she did not see him. Like, Kalluna probably did, but they didn't tell fucking Thanos. And then, um, I, um, I left my weapon downstairs.

I'm gonna roll a blow. That is amazing! Oh my god. Well, adjacent, roll perception. Alright, he's gonna roll in sight. That's amazing. Yeah, okay. Well, if you tell me what it looks like, I'll be happy to go look around for it. Oh no, he doesn't believe me! God, I wonder why. Okay, just from memory, Thanos is going to describe the dagger that Kalluna always has. It's just like, it's yay big, and straight up, she thinks that he believed her, so she is going to describe the first weapon that came to mind. Which, in real life, Breanna thought of that dagger. Kalluna's gonna make me get a thoughtful face, like, I've seen something like that before.

Alright, should I roll in- he already doesn't believe me, but do I have to roll a bluff for how well I describe the fact that it's down there? Um, no, he already- this is more like- no, that was bad enough, it's like, you are full of shit. But, I'm gonna still be nice to you, and so after that, I'll have someone go look around for it, and we'll bring it right to your room if we find anything. I promise. Someone brings Merrick? Thanos is just gonna kinda look at David and then look at the door. I think I remember exactly where I left it, actually, so I can just be in and out.

Like, I know it's safe, I've been there before. Oh, well, we'll go together. Oh no! Kalluna's actually gonna bounce a little bit, like yay! Alright, wait, no, there's one saving grace. Kalluna, do you have that dagger? Nope. They gave it to Merrick. I was gonna roll a thievery check! Jesus Christ, what a little shit Lord Thanos is. It would be really hard to steal from them, it's on their chest. She'd still try. Just like, hold on, friend, let me just touch your chest a little bit, let me fondle you. Alright, she's gonna lead him in, and... fuck it. But she is gonna go up the stairs.

As soon as they get to that split, she is going to go straight upstairs to the room that she wasn't able to see before. Very matter of fact, like, yes, yes, over here. So, okay, you leading down this way, he is going to... the entire time. You do understand how dangerous this is, even being down here. Especially without supervision. I'm... guessing your party already described this to you. Thanos without missing a beat is gonna be like, "I brought Kaluna." And he'll look over to Kaluna like... Kaluna will beam like, "Yeah, you brought Kaluna. We got this." Nevertheless, I do believe that we should get in and get out as quickly as possible.

If we don't see your dagger, then we should just go. You said you knew exactly where it was. I think so. Now you think so. And he's gonna stop! How about we retire back upstairs and I will send a team of people down here in the morning, bright and early, to find your dagger? And he's being... like his tone is very placating, like... Like almost hands on knees like a kindergarten teacher, like bending over. It's like, "How about..." And like almost that. Kaluna's gonna give a try. Who's gonna say? No, we remember it being in there. We remember. And Bluff? It's not gonna be good.

Mmm, that's even worse. Yeah. Oh, this whole thing is like comedy there. Kaluna is not a talker. That's a nine. Yeah, this is not... alright. I did better with my crit miss, Bluff. Yeah, I did. Is that what Kaluna does with ink? Listen, Kaluna has a meg to charisma. Who is that much of a liar? I don't really think that Miss Grimness would appreciate us being down here. If anything were to happen to you, she would take it very, very personally. So, I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that we go back upstairs now. At this point, does Kaluna know that he knows?

Oh yeah, I think it's- Like are we just playing along? Like we all know what's happening, but like... I feel like it's just- it's clearly like, "Come on now, come on." So Kaluna's just gonna go, "Fine." Uh, Fantas is going to reach into her bag and pull out the potion and hand it to David and say, "I just wanted to put this back." Okay, the expression on his face is going to go from like, "Come on," to like, "Where the fuck did you get that?" Like very, like abruptly. And he's gonna reach out and it's a combination of like, "Give me that," but very gingerly.

Like hands almost shaking, like double- like putting both hands on the container. "This is very dangerous for you to be walking around with." And almost getting ready to like- like okay, almost getting ready to like, "The fuck is wrong with you?" Like chastise, but then realize like, "Okay, you were trying to put it back, you're trying to do the right thing. I appreciate you returning it." But he's- it's very measured, like his- it's like, "I'm not angry, I'm just as- that kind of like-" Fantas is kind of like shrug. "Fuck." "How about we keep this little incident between us?

I don't think that anyone else needs to know about that, but I would like you to make a promise to me right now that this portion of the house is off limits. Alright?" But it's so cool! Fantas will- Fantas will kind of look very defeated, like she wants to argue, but she had already like- it's already- this has gone so wrong for her that she can't really defend it anymore. And just kind of nod. Kaluna's gonna tentatively raise their hand, just like- not a full hand raise, but you know, just like up to your shoulder. Mhm. "What does 'off limits' mean?" "It means that you won't be coming down here anymore." "Oh.

Okay. And they'll- they'll do something that looks like a salute. I was going to say a salute, but I just realized I don't know if that's a thing that most people do." "But they'll do- they'll just do like a common gesture like 'aye aye, captain.'" "Right. And he would- he would put this back and then like, 'come on, let's- let's please, let's just please, you're making my job so much tougher just by your existence.' "Like just... after that..." "I'm so mad, guys." "Can Kaluna immediately gossip with Merrick like, 'Oh my god, I cannot believe what happened.'" "Oh no, don't do that!" "You'll ruin any furniture plans." "No, for the record, I was gonna put- that was a part of the plan." "But first I wanted to see that goddamn room." "Oh, good lord.

Okay. Getting some rest, guys." "Are we then loading up and taking off?" "Kaluna's gonna change aspects." "To what?" "To Aspect of the Ancients." "Aww, yeah!" "It's been so long!" "They're a glow-in-the-dark sticker once more, guys." "Should I just have like a weird stroke at the table change?" "The table change to celebrate Kaluna." "This is, um..." "Is it sunset?" "Uh, actually it's more of like a sunrise type thing. I'm cutting, like, yeah, I'm imagining you guys are getting started kinda early in the morning." "Oh yeah, oh yeah." "You got a little breakfast in your bellies." "Um, Ashley, everybody!

Let's roll for bacon." "One person in the group." "I did it! Ten! We got ten bacon." "That is some middle of the road bacon." "We got adequate bacon." "You guys got adequate bacon." "The wrong person rolled." "Clearly not Maric." "I was gonna say, who must have made that? It must have been David or one of his people because..." "You wanna throw David under the bus so hard." "He got fired." "I mean..." "He's a cool guy, I like him." "Look, look, okay." "It wasn't me." "He's a little fatty, like right on the verge of turning, like it was, like it could have been better." "Oh." "Could have been, could have been better." "Yeah, Maric would have thrown it away and been like, 'This is disgusting, we're not eating this.'" "No, come on, we'll bring out your food at Faughan's." "Bring out your food so he can watch me throw it away." "I think Kanna would have buried it and then used, like, the composted bacon from, like, four weeks ago." "I think Santos would have eaten it because she's a fucking adult who can handle food." "Yeah, she's a good team." "Good lord, okay." "Those are words that apply to Santos." "Wow." "So, everyone's gonna get ready and load up here, all of your luggage and your stuff, you got rations, you are set to go." "You're looking at about, in the carriage, you're gonna have to go through Aldmore to get to Uminero." "You're looking at a good, like, three and a half days, probably, on the road." "There's little things, like, you guys are gonna sit down and Julie and Bree are both going, but there's a little bit of tension there?" "Between Julie and Bree?" "Well, Bree did threaten Julie's life." "They both want a fuck-una, I mean..." "Oh no." "Oh dear." "Oh no, no." "I mean, technically we're only half the situation." "I get her cubbies." "26 minutes, 18 seconds." "I was gonna make a yeast joke and then I didn't." "Nice." "Oh my god." "Eric's the hero that we don't deserve." "Yeah, Bree did kind of threaten Julie's life.

That's a sticking point." "Forgot about that." "Yeah." "Oh my god, get over it." "So there's kind of like, they're sitting on opposite, like, they're both sitting in the back, but like, opposite sides and just kind of like, hmm, yep." "Just like, just kind of an awkward glance every once in a while." "Who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat D20?" "Well since I'm driving..." "Is it canon that Merrick's driving?" "Hey, it's 10!" "I..." "Oh, whoops, no, that was just, that was actually, I didn't mean to do that." "I would not think I'd be here, I'd just say." "I would like for Merrick to drive, I think it makes sense that Merrick would want to do that and actually just sort of be up there and be Merrick." "If you're voting for a driver, I'mma vote for Merrick." "Okay, well then, Merrick, do me a favor, roll a flat D20 for me." "I can do that." "Phantos can drive." "Phantos can drive on any planet in any continent, like, not old enough." "Oh." "Oh, fuck." "That you wish Thanos drove. You wanna see what it would have been if Thanos was driving?" "Oh!" "I thought you were already old." "That's true." "No, that was, that 10 was for bacon." "Wow." "Oh yeah, that's right." "Out of four, that's not good." "Phantos can drive though." "So what happens when we get to Umineiro?" "Guys, I think, I think it's a good time for us to stop for the evening." "What? Oh!" "This is why Kaluna should be in charge of the animals." "I'm just saying, I'm just saying." "Can we cannon real quick, is anybody else with Merrick or is he just by himself?" "Uh, Thanos is up there too." "Is there room for three people?" "Yeah, just clinging to the top of the roof of the carriage." "I mean, you could probably squeeze, like, like Thanos doesn't take up a lot of space." "Phantos wouldn't squeeze though, like, he's staying on our lap." "Can we also make it cannon that Merrick has, like, a long straw that he's just kind of chewing on as he's holding the reins?" "A floppy hat." "Yeah, and a floppy hat." "Okay, so Thanos is Brie as a teenager.

Is there a chance she could have climbed on top of the carriage?" "Oh, good lord, I mean, if you're not afraid of, like, falling off, I guess." "Phantos? Thanos is afraid of fucking up." "Phantos is on the roof then." "Yeah." "Nice." "And I'm not even saying that's what I would have--" "Is his feet kicking?" "No, like, in the center, like, one leg holding up an elbow, like, just chilling on top, just like--" "I can see this." "Yeah, it's kind of like a covered wagon type of situation, so it wouldn't be the most comfortable, like, thing, 'cause it'd be like, um--" "It's worth it to not be around people, Jason." "Okay, I agree, that's fine." "All these fucking cleaves, do you see what's surrounded by all the time?" "Yep. I can see Kaluna and Merrick sitting together and Thanos on the top.

This makes sense to me." "That makes sense to me." "Just kind of rocking along, and it's a pretty comfy ride, like, especially considering, like, you guys are used to horseback or walking, and, like, walking's fine, but after, you know, six, seven hours on the road just walking, like, your feet are killing you. Like, this is the way to travel. It's a little slower than horseback riding, but, I mean, you can't beat it for comfort." "It's like getting an Uber." "You know, I'm not gonna lie, I feel like Kaluna would be more comfortable on the horse." "Maybe." "The next time we sit down, we are gonna get into some pretty heavy shit.

Like, I didn't want to push it for this one, but, like, yeah, there's a four on the table." "Damn it, I'm sorry, everybody." "Well, we'll see. You know what, that doesn't-- we'll see." "You know what, I just want to know what could have been." "Okay, well." "So, the point is, Santos should always drive everything." "No, god no." "You know what, honestly, my 19, your four says that I should be in control here." "Ugh." "Do you think I can keep my streak alive?" "Do it, make it happen." "Do it, do it." "Oh, failed us." "That's not too bad." "That's not terrible." "It's not a certain death." "It's more like likely death, not certain death." Hey, it's Izzy. Thank you for listening to that episode.

It was fucking great, right? Yeah, you agree with me. So, if you want more of D&R, because it's amazing, you can go to the website, dandrpodcast.com. Got forums, got a store, some awesome new t-shirts that you should totally check out and buy all of. You can also look us up on Twitter or on Patreon. Patreon helps us just kind of keep the lights on, keep everything running, and Jason and Brie really appreciate it. So you should give all of your money to them at all times. Also, there are going to be a shit ton of awesome people from the cast at DragonCon, and you should absolutely go to that.

It's in Georgia, which is apparently a 12 days walk from Texas. So enjoy yourselves, and thank you for listening to the episode.