Vengeance
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Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Episode 177 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you today by Fantasy Coin. We've talked about Fantasy Coin for the last few weeks. Their Kickstarter is still going strong. If you don't know what Fantasy Coin is, you can go to fantasycoin.com and it links right to their catalog of gorgeous metal currencies. There's all kinds of them too.
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I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. We're going around the table starting with Bree! Hi, I'm Brianna. I play Thanatos, the Gith's Arise scion. And Eric. Hi, Eric here, and I play Ordan King Shield, Dwarven Knight. And Izzy. Hi, Izzy there, and I play Una, the Half-Elf Paladin. And Mack. Everyone else has cool things to add on. Hi, I'm Mack, and I play Kalina of Algieras, the Wild and Shaman. And Jasper. This is Jasper. I play Merrick, Ethelred, Human Cleric. Guys, last time on the show, Una and Julie rejoined, and you guys had some catching up to do. I believe everyone's pretty much on the same page.
There is still a slight debate about what exactly is going to be happening when you get to the seal. But you know what you're going to do. You are getting ready to take a carriage that you borrowed from Tessia, and you are traveling to the city of Uminyiro, which is a few days away. But you're going to be traveling in plush comfort. Slight problem. When you guys took off, I had you roll a flat d20, and at the end of the last session, I believe it was Jasper. Yeah, it was 17. I remember it being lower. No, I remember a 20, actually. It was a 15. It was a 20.
I remember the number 4. It was 4 times 4. Oh, I rolled a 40. Yeah, 40. Rolled double crits on one die. It was really fast. The table exploded. Fantasy friends had an orgasm. It was amazing. Fine. And then he had a threesome. It was on camera. We had to watch. We told him we wanted to go, and he was like, "No." I rolled a 4. Okay. And it happens to the best of us. It's fine. But I think we should deal with that first. Now, here's what I would like everybody to do, because right about now, I would put you well outside the city of Brightport. I'd say you're, let's say, a few hours on the road, something like that.
Everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check. How fucked are you? That's the perception check. I want to see who sees how fucked you are. Oh, wait. Just for canon purposes, I want to make sure that we go back and talk about who is where. On the, um... Yeah, I remember, I think Merrick was going to be driving. I believe you said that, yeah. Calluna was shotgun. Right. And I think Thanatos is sort of just lounging on the covered wagon. On top, yeah. She is on top. And she will always be on top when she is of age. Really? Okay, but guys, guys, I don't... I don't want it in my head that was distasteful.
That was the one. I said when she's of age! I know, but... Anyway, Una's going to be just chilling inside the wagon. Like, maybe doing that thing where you stick your hand at the window and you like, go woo woo with the air, but like, nothing's happening because we're not moving fast enough. I would say it's not nearly that fast, but yeah. She's just the dragon, dude. Let's see, Merrick, Calluna, Thanatos, Merrick, Calluna, Thanatos, Una. Let's see what we got from Bree. Bree will see it. And Julie will not. Okay, so as you guys are traveling, there's some tall grass on either side of the road.
It's pretty much these unkept fields just kind of waving, kind of in the breeze because it's starting to get cooler out. It's actually a lovely time of year for adventures to be traveling because a lot of you guys are wearing heavy, bulky armor and the sun beats down and you get sweaty and it's just a mess. So this time of year it's getting cooler, you know, winter's coming will never ever be usable again as a phrase. It's right up there with who you're going to call, but it is. So in the distance, I would say Calluna would be the first one to spot it.
But there's going to be, there's going to be kind of a glint, like a glimmer. Something bulky in this field is just going to be laying there. And I'd say Calluna would be the first one to spot it and then shortly after would be Merrick. And then Thanatos having like a slightly elevated position above everybody else would be able to kind of get to get a good look at this too. It's a large figure kind of laying in this field and it's kind of matting down the grass where it was. In the general vicinity actually it looks like, it looks like some kind of commotion has taken place because where everywhere else it just kind of looks like if you've ever passed a field in the summertime and grass is just allowed to keep growing, it's like two feet high somewhere in there.
A lot of this field is like that. And then in the center, it looks like maybe there's something, some burn marks or it's trampled, something like that. So this figure looks to be lying stationary, not moving whatsoever. And this would be a very odd place to sleep. So what would you guys like to do with this? I'm going to tell you right now, the last time we saw something walking back from one place to another and thought, let's check it out. That turned out pretty poorly. Well, the one thing I'll say is with these perception checks, looking around, this isn't a situation where like the Knowles where they got the drop on you or something like that.
Especially like Thanatos and you sitting in the driver's seat, like Kelowna and everything, you'd be able to see a good portion around here. It doesn't look like this is like a trap someone's laying for anybody or any looks like maybe someone, honestly, it looks like someone met kind of an untimely end. Okay, so if no one else noticed this, this is up to Merrick, Thanatos and Kelowna if they want to stop or make anyone's attention to it, right? I would say, yeah, well, let me see what was Una's perception role here, because I want to say Una... 24. 24.
It's actually kind of funny, God damn it, in my head. It's actually funny, Jesus Christ, because like the three people who are outside the wagon had the best perception checks. It's kind of weird how that worked out. Right? Well, what are you guys thinking? How big is the figure? Well, this is pretty large. Kelowna would actually see tufts of fur or something like that. Can I roll a nature check to see if I can figure out what sort of something this might be? Sure, go right ahead. Good. You intimidated it. I did. I did intimidate it. Go away. There we go. That's much better.
There we go. Get out of here, body. 31. Well, okay, by process of elimination, there are a few things that would be that large. One would be a werewolf. The problem is werewolves don't wear armor. They're not... No, of course they don't. Werewolves in furry form don't wear armor. In furry form? In furry form, yeah. Why did I do that? I'm sorry. Continue. So this would probably be a minotaur. And with the armor it's wearing, it's probably some type of adventurer. Well, shit. Or mercenary. So does Kaluna know? Like, would Kaluna have an idea of like, "Oh, minotaur are friendly," or "Oh, minotaur are going to stab me with their horns." Well, would that nature check?
It all depends. Minotaur, of the racism theory, they can be aggressive, but more bristly. Not hyper "I'm gonna murder you." Most of them are pretty... they're kind of gentle giants for the most part. Specifically the really furry ones. There are some that can be territorial, or... It depends on the topic and where they are. With dwarves, probably a lot more aggressive, kind of dude-bro-y about stuff. But would most people know? You don't have to worry about them just charging you or trying to hurt you. Okay, so Kaluna would turn to Merrick and say, "It looks like a minotaur." Merrick would, you know, sort of nod along.
Like, "Yeah, seems like it." The one question that Merrick would have in terms of his perception is, would he have a sense of like, "There's a chance that this thing is hurt?" Or, "This thing is definitely dead." You know what I mean? Here's the thing. From where you're sitting, you're not seeing like, the area's coated in gizzards. Like, it's not that. Like flies and stuff everywhere. Yeah, you're seeing some flies, but okay. Here's the thing. It's not uncommon for minotaurs while sleeping to have flies on them. It's not... they're cowmen, basically. So, yes, that's not uncommon.
And the way it's laying, it could be sleeping. It's just... that's really uncommon. Either way, there's something up, basically. I got it. So, here's what Merrick's gonna have to do, because he's Merrick, and he's a cleric, and he's Merrick. He's Merrick the Cleric. He... if he thinks for a second that there's a chance that this is a wounded person of any race, he's gonna at least go, just check, and just see what's going on. Not like, "Hey, buddy, what's up?" but just kind of scout it out for a second. So, he's gonna... it's kind of like going on a road trip, and everybody else is doing something, and then somebody just kind of pulls off to go to a McDonald's, like, just without asking anybody.
He's gonna basically just, like, do whatever he needs to do with the reins of the horses, and just sort of stop everything. And he's gonna look at Caluna and just say, "Hang on, I'm just gonna check it out. I'll be right back. Not gonna get in danger. Don't worry about it. Thanatos, please stay here." He's gonna just, like, "Please stay here." Caluna will just grab the reins, not do anything, but just sort of idly hold them, just in case. So, Merrick, as you approach this body... And stealthily... Wait, did the carriage stop? Yeah, carriage stopped, so that would be something that somebody could notice.
Okay, I'll tag along with Merrick if the carriage stops. He's gonna just, like, slide off of whatever platform he's sitting on, and he's just gonna be like, he won't just go off without telling anybody. He would look in, probably in the window or door or whatever, and be like, "There's, like, maybe a dead Minotaur or something. I'm just gonna check it out just to make sure everything's cool." And then we'll go, like, 30 seconds. Oh, I've gotta see this. Oh god. I need another drinking horn! So, here's the thing. Fine. Normally when an adventure stops for the day, there's usually a campfire or something.
They usually stay away from the road. 'Cause you never know who's gonna be venturing down the street, and most people just kind of find a tree line or bushes or something like that. Just kind of, like, if you're alone specifically, just don't call too much attention to yourself. This is kind of the opposite of that. This is probably a good, like, 20, 30 yards away from the main road, and just sort of by itself. So, to understand, it's Merrick, Una, Orton. Yep. But I have one more caveat to tell everybody, and that is, this could absolutely be a trap. I'm trying to be very careful.
Keep your eyes out. Like, stealth roll? Careful? I think Merrick would be-- he wouldn't just, like, sort of tromp up and be like, "What's up here?" I think he would honestly be stealthy, to the point where he would try to focus on being stealth, and hopefully having everybody else looking around to see if anything else is happening, if it's a trap. Well, do me a favor. Roll a stealth check. The check won't be crazy high. I'm just curious as to how-- okay, that's fine. Wow, your stealth is five. Okay. So, moving toward this body, you're gonna hear, like, the trampling of grass underfoot, and as you move through, that's kind of part ways.
And I'd like you to do me a favor and roll a perception. All three of you. Yep. Then worms leap out of the fucking minotaur's body and attack with their gizzards. Thousands of tiny lungs. Okay. Firstly... Okay, firstly... I'm sorry. Wow. You've got your helmet on backwards. No, it's not. I don't see anything. I don't know what you're talking about. I was fine with my bad roll until it starts getting called out. Well, it's my job to tell you what you see and hear, and it's like... Oh, sweetie. Um... Shh. Firstly, it's gonna be really quiet. Just really quiet. You're gonna hear that grass kind of, like, going back and forth, like that distant cicada noise every once in a while.
But other than that, no movement of any kind unless it's the party. And as you approach this body, it's kind of laying on its side. Gorgeous, gorgeous armor, and this minotaur was clearly outfitted. Like, it was clearly either some sort of high-ranking minotaur, like military or adventurer or some kind of, like, really well-paid mercenary. And as you get close, you can see that a lot of its belongings are still on it. Loot, loot, loot, loot. But it is very clearly dead. There is a hole straight through its chest, exiting out the back, and on the ground around you, you can see where something happened to it, where it was... that there was some kind of fight, and I'm gonna ask you for a series of checks here pretty soon, but there was some kind of skirmish, and then very quickly it ended, and he pretty much fell down dead here.
And Una would actually recognize the body as Yenward Firestomp. Oh! Who called it? Oh... That's not something I should be happy about, I'm sorry. I was just excited that I got something right. Whaaaaat? Yeah, Una will tell you, she'll be like, "Hey, so I've met this fucking minotaur. The Yenward... Firehooves? Firecrotch?" Firecrotch? Something like that. Firestomp. Wow. Close. I don't think Merrick would have known anything about Yenward at all. Well, is this a friend of yours, or... I don't know, like... good guy, bad guy? I mean, I fought, we fought with him. I mean, not with him, but...
He used to run with fucking Malchus Grimnus, and a couple others, that kind of... that little gang. Were you aware of them? I knew his brother very well. Still do, I guess. Wow. This is... this feels wrong, this feels... I don't know, I feel like we should just get out of here, but I'm happy to take whatever we can, if we can loot anything. There's nothing wrong with a dead minotaur. Well... Woo! Jesus! Yeah, well, okay. Nice, nice one. Merrick will just high-five. Like, sure, gotcha. I'm just gonna be staring at them like, "Hey, Ordon, I didn't know you were a speciesist.
What's with that?" I don't know how much you spent with the dead carpet over there, but they're pretty horrible to have to be around. I mean, okay, this one smells, but like... Yeah, they're dumb, and they're... there's pretty much no redeeming qualities. Well, I'm just gonna busy yourself with just going through the shit, just like, "Guess that's an interesting thing." Just muttering, like, "Well, okay, and racist, that's fine. Yeah, just travel in the same way." I think Merrick would just not even... he would just let it slide. Like, he wouldn't want to get involved.
I think he's aware enough of different racist proclivities that it's just like, "Hey, you know, deal with it, it's fine." Let's loot this sucker. Oona, do me a favor and roll an intelligence check for me. Oh, my best skill. I know. Ew. I rolled a three. Did you want me to do anything instead? Well, this is... This is not good. Can I remember something for you? Okay. While there are some really nice items on this Minotaur, a couple of things are going to pop up here. One, what would have killed something so large and then not go to the trouble of looting it?
Taking armor or taking gold. Like, there is tons of gold on this Minotaur. There are all kinds of little artifacts and items, things like that. I mean, there are some valuable trinkets. Could have stripped this body down and sold all of this even if you aren't an adventurer. Even if you don't have much need for gold, there are bartering items here. Maybe they fucking hated him. Maybe it was a spite thing. Just leave him fucking lying there. I didn't want his dirty fucking money. Maybe something like that. Could be except for one very particular item is missing.
Now, Una would have known that the weapon of Kord that Yen were used to tote around is very not on the body. And that would stand out because it is a very large double-bladed battle axe. There is a crown kind of laying in the dirt here next to the body, so there are lots of baubles and items here that are worth coin. That is not. Alright, so Una would have to be patting down this body, trying to shove it over, just looking for the fucking battle axe. And then stand up slowly and be like, "Well, Stormrender. Pretty famous." Not comfortable that that is the only thing missing.
Why would somebody kill this Minotaur and just take one thing, I mean, granted, very important thing to take, but leave everything else? This is confusing and it is making me nervous. I honestly feel like, let's take whatever we can. You never know what they're going to ask us for at Umineiro, for payment to be able to get help. I don't know. Let's just grab whatever we can and just take off because it's making me nervous. Anything I can do to tell how long he's been here? That's what I was going to ask. If you guys like, and this is completely up to you, but you can do a little forensics here and I can ask you for a series of checks.
And you can see what you might be able to find out. A lot of you guys have seen combat. You know what it looks like and you know what the aftermath looks like. Yeah, let's do that actually. That'd be fun. Alright. Quick question. This is going on for a while. Is this a thing where you're telling anybody else, "Yeah, it doesn't look like there's any danger," or is it you're going to do this in the lead? Oh, good point. Just turn a wave to the group like, "Yeah, we're good." Exactly. Just turn back and be like, "A thumbs up," and give us a minute. "A dance of joy," you know.
Just all good. YMCA. Right. Okay, so what checks do we need to do to forensicize? Well, let's start with that perception check that you gave here. Do me a favor and actually, everyone do me a favor. Run a perception check here and what you're going to be doing is looking at the body itself and then the surrounding area. Just this where you're standing. A fresh perception? Yep. Everyone or just the people who went out there? Well, I guess the people who went out there unless anybody would join after finding out it's cool. Damn. It's getting better. It is getting better, folks.
Oh, he's just sticking his head in the hole, like see if he can fit in there. It's like you're rolling a D4 every time. Well, while we're going through this, would any of the people on the wagon express to Kaluna like, "Hey, I'm going to go up there," because if any more people get out of the carriage, then it's kind of pointless to have it sitting back there. Right. Yeah. But it entirely depends on everyone else because Kaluna was told to stay there. If Brie would get curious eventually, Julie's not the type to really like, as long as no one's panicked and there's no screaming, it'd be fine.
But Brie would probably eventually like, "All right, what is that?" It's kind of a curious thing. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I mean... Yeah. If Brie expressed like, "Hey, I want to check it out," then Kaluna would be like, "Fuck it. Let's go, cart. Let's go." So going so far as to pull the whole cart over there. The whole carriage? I misspoke. That was on me. But yeah, Kaluna would just go ahead and be like, "You know what? Fuck it. Let's go. Let's go see." And then very daintily have the horses go clippity cloppity clippity cloppity. These are not dainty horses. They don't walk like show ponies is all.
I'm trying to keep this lighthearted, Jason. But fine, they will donkey trot a corpse. That is an actual term. Don't laugh. Okay. So they're going to donkey punch their way over to the... Wow. So... So do me a favor. Everyone give me a perception roll. Yay! Go team! Okay. Again, Julie would not... I can't tell you that. But like, what if I had that idea? That's an idea you can have. That's totally an idea you can have. I'm not going to tell you you can't have that idea. I can't give you any feedback whatsoever. But I couldn't do a religion check to see if that would inform me of anything?
You'd probably need to look into some books to do that. What do they have? Is it Uminiro? You'll find out when you get there, I guess. Cree's like, "Is that... Uhhhhh..." "What is that?" "It sure is fluffy, whatever it is." "That pillow's wearing armor." So, okay. Let's see. First of all, let's deal with the fact that the party is now joining the rest. Let's join... Okay. So Julie would pretty much stay in this carriage unless there's... Poke her head out and be like, "What?" And to her it's like, "That's a dead Minotaur. That sucks." So let's see. Thanos would see that there is the body of a Minotaur there, and on closer inspection there is a hole in the chest cleaned to the back again.
Kalina would see the same thing. Bree, it wouldn't even be like... It would be more like, "Oh, there's a body there." But nothing really super clicks. It would be more like, "Why are you bothering me?" It's clearly sleeping. Something like that. Alright. Thanos would take a wild guess. Has she seen enough scion punches to the chest to know what it looks like when someone gets scion punched through the chest? Well, here's the thing. It's... Does it look like it's all singed and gross around the edges? Or is it just like... It's not burnt. Here's... A small hole of spear or something.
No. That's the problem. It's definitely not a piercing weapon or something like that because if someone were to get cut, it'd be mostly blood and then you'd have to... "Oh, no. There's clearly a slice of cut." Something like that. If it's a spear, then there'd be a hole, but the exit wound wouldn't be bigger. So two things would basically do this. Some big form of magic or an explosive? Like a small explosive. Which you can't really imagine someone's going to stand there for. If someone's going to use an explosive to kill anybody, it's going to be a bigger blast than this.
Or a scion punch would be a pretty good guess. Alright. And I assume that's like... It's not meta because I actually don't know how he died, but I'm kind of guessing in real life, but I think that Thanos would guess the same thing. Like, I'm not trying to be meta. I just like... Alright, if there's a scion punch in the chest, that would leave a hole, right? Yeah. Like a nasty one. And looking around, here's where things get interesting. It definitely looks like this minotaur was fighting one person. Something much smaller than this minotaur. And then everyone do me a favor and roll a nature check.
Let's see here. So, okay. Remember how I was talking about the tall grass and everything? What's interesting about this is, in this general vicinity, it is very clear that there was a skirmish. All this is trampled down. There was a big commotion. And you get the sense that this minotaur probably put up a fight before this had happened. So, the way the grass is sort of trampled, this minotaur was fighting one person. And then, on the outskirts of it, probably after the fact, it appears as though there are several more footprints. It also appears as though this body has been laying here for over a day.
And did you say what direction the footprints were from? Okay, so what it looks like is the set of footprints kind of came off the main road. Like, they've been walking in the grass for a while, but it looks like it's been coming from the same direction as maybe Brightport or Whitehedge? Something like that? Definitely from where you were. So he was attacked by white hedges. The deadliest hedges. Can we tell what kind of footprints they are? Obviously we can't get too specific because it's a footprint and people probably wear shoes, but can we tell, like, this was definitely a humanoid about yea big?
And the big group was like, "Oh, these are a bunch of humanoids about yea big." The footprints of the thing you're fighting do not look large. So you're guessing, I mean, it's not small enough to be like halfling gnomes, something like that, but it could be anything in the realm of like elf, half-elf, human, dwarf. Humanoid, though. Humanoid, definitely. Not as large as like a minotaur or something like that. So it wasn't minotaur or miniature violence, is what you're telling me? No. But like the group that came after, presumably, is that what we established?
This looks like a mixture of people. And it doesn't even look like they were traveling together. This looks like maybe some time passed and then they came along. Yeah, so Zantos is still in the carriage. Yes. Just kind of looking down, it's not like she's not interested, it's more like, "Is this worth coming down for?" "Oh, I'm taller than everyone." That's kind of it, too, is she likes to feel tall and important. Because she's only the second shortest person in the party. But that doesn't help. Right. Like, she is taller than Orden by like a full inch. Bree would very much be... kind of... okay.
Not to be rude, but it's like, "What's the commotion? I don't... like, this is tragic, this is terrible." But, you know, the body's kind of like on its side and all that stuff. Okay, so if Bree doesn't seem to really care, then Uno will look at Zantos and just say, "Hey, get down here. You need to give your input on something." Okay, hopefully not ending in a roll. Thantos is going to climb down from the carriage. She's not going to do anything fancy either. I was about to say, unless you're going to jump off? Any type of bowling. Okay. Yeah. She's going to climb down.
I'm actually kind of mad. I was going to... it's like, "An acrobatics check!" That's why I didn't climb down. I actually think my acrobatics is fine, too. I just don't want to right now. With the way that checks are going right now, I don't want to. I have a plus ten. And look at the corpse. What do you want me to tell you? Uno's going to point to the gaping hole and just say, "Sion?" So, Jason, the first perception check in what you told me, that covers it, right? Like, I shouldn't do it again? No. Okay. Thantos will just kind of shrug and be like, "Probably." And then, since she's down here, because she goes through his pockets...
I don't see why not. I think we've looted it. We're already going through it. I mean, like, have at it. The loot's already all spread out, probably. I was about to say, I picture it more like they're running its pockets like, "Hey, what killed it?" Like, stripping it of anything useful. See, I thought you guys were all standing around it, like, trying to figure stuff out, and then Thantos would just come in and be like, "Yeah, probably a Sion." They sounded pretty grabby-handed. We started looting it immediately. Yeah, and I would... I think whatever blanket or something that we could get out of the carriage, like, put the blanket or the sheet down or whatever it is and just start throwing stuff onto it.
Okay. I thought you were going to cover the body. Yeah, I thought you were going to cover the corpse for something. No, I wouldn't... Actually, I could put a good blanket on that. I want to... If there's enough stuff to throw onto that, I just want to be able to pick it all up and throw it in the back and be like, "Let's go." You're supposed to create a sack, basically. Right, yeah. Like a bindle. Okay. I have a question about burial, actually. Sure. I mean, I don't want to spend a lot of time around here digging a fucking hole, but could I, like, smash the earth with my hammer or some shit and, like, make a big enough hole to kill or not kill, bury this thing?
I could decimate the body, and then there would be nothing left to bury. We don't want to capitalize this field, like... Just a fucking spray, like a water balloon. I could just, like, blast it right on one side. That's an automatic crit, right, Jason? Against a corpse? That's definitely an automatic crit. It's definitely coup de grace. Okay, here's the thing. With your hammer, like, you could definitely take a divot out of the ground and stuff like that. You're not going to open up a six-foot hole in the earth that, like, that's... It would need to be bigger than six feet.
He's seven feet tall. Well, you're not going to bury him standing up. It just needs to be a deep grave. It just needs to be, like, something we can just... We have to get the hammer on the ground before it was big enough for a minute or... I don't want, like, a six-foot thing with, like, a fucking headstone. It's just, like, it can be a shallow fucking grave. Just put dirt over it, you know? It would be quicker and less energy to just dig a hole. Like, it would be, like, you busting out, like, you know, you could... Let's just burn. Let's just, like, funeral pyre her real quick.
Like, Viking funeral without the... Yeah, not even that big of a deal. Just, seriously, just loot and then let's get rid of the body. Come on, it would make a face. Merrick would say words about things. Religious things. Oh, the sun. The sun will guide you to heaven. No, it would just be standing in the corner with her arms crossed, rolling her eyes the entire time. Like, really visibly making a fuss about how long this is taking and how dumb it is. Depending on how long you guys are standing there, if this is a thing where you're actually going to, like, burn the body and, like, try to be somewhat respectful.
Not even respectful, but just, like, you don't want the fucking bears to eat it or whatever, so let's just, like, take care of this. I know, Kalina kind of wants the bears to eat it. Right, well, you know. Circle of life. It's the same thing as, like, "Oh, hey, they'll eat this guy instead of us." Right. Or like that idea too. I feel like we're- Ordon doesn't probably fucking care. Yeah, and honestly, Merrick would want to try to do something respectful, but not take time. Like, just let's go. We gotta get out of here. Just set it on fire. Say, "He was the minotaur.
He was a king." Bodies are only this part of the mortal coil, but really, I'm sure he's an illuminous being. I don't know. Just muttering religious phrases while, like, backing away and, like, pushing the fucking button. Cathedrals. Depending- like, if you guys are- Tapestries. So this would take a while. No, we're not trying to- No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not trying to burn you. No, no, no, no. Just dump some gas on it. Flip a match. Back the fuck off. I want this to take- I want this to take 12 minutes, tops, and we're out of here. Right, yes. No. I'm not saying, like, hours pass and- no.
What I'm saying is, if it's more than just a few minutes, Brie would recognize the body. That's what I'm getting to. Oh, okay. We're just trying to get out of here before you spring some shit on us. Wow. I just want to get out of here. The mistrust. The mistrust in the call. I don't want to waste time going to Uminyiro, and I just want to loot and be like, "Alright-" Isn't this troll territory? Is this not troll territory? Well, actually, why'd you say it? You're kind of close to Bandit's Rest, so you got, like, wolves and gnolls, and there's the occasional, like, hill giant troll situation type of thing.
Yeah, see, let's leave. Can I roll to cut off Yynwood's horns before we burn him? Sure. Like, he's not going to put up a fight. Like, it would take a few- Oh, I can just do that then? I don't have to roll for that? No, you can take his horns. I mean, if that's something that- Okay, yeah. I'm going to take his horns, and I'm going to make a shot glass for Brie from the horn that killed her. She would- okay. That's the one thing Brie would- like, if you're going to, like, after she recognizes who this is, like, I think it would be pretty clear. If you're looking at her at all, she'd get really quiet, but it would kind of be, like, her getting close to the body and, like, realizing what's, you know, who it is and what happened.
And she'd be looking at that cavernous hole in the chest too, and putting two and two together. Okay, for confirmation, Una will look over at Brie and go, "Saiya?" And you can- she's kind of, like, that thousand yard stare of, like, not completely there and just kind of shake it off after a minute. "Uh, yeah. I can't think of anything else it would be." And then she's going to look back to Thanos. And not say anything, but kind of give her a look. Do we- do we percept that? Um, everyone give me an insight check. Do I notice? Um, give me an insight check.
Yeah, you- yeah, yeah. Okay. Do I have to, like, does everyone else notice she's giving me a glare, but then I get to crit one, like- What? What? Too busy rolling your eyes. Oh my god! Of course. Word it! Going strong. Just take a nap in the cart. We'll call you later. Ordon can care less about a dead minotaur. That's probably it. That's pro- this is easily explainable. Eric, have you had a good Dice Knight since you've started with us? I mean, combat generally goes okay for me, so it's not like- Okay. It's not like I'm the most doomed person here, but- Let's take a vote.
Does everyone else think Eric? How many points has that been? How many ones has that been tonight? At least two. I think it's three. It is. It's three that counted, but actually more like five because we were rolling before the thing, and I think you got two then too. Jesus. Oh god. Anywho. This would be the- okay. Everyone but Ordon. Um, would Thanos give me an insight? Oh, do I? I thought we were joking. Alright. Okay. I'm not sure if Thanos would necessarily pick up on it. You'd definitely see that Brie's looking at you, but I think whatever one else would pick up on, specifically Merrick and Una, would be the kind of look of- kind of like rediscovering a person.
Just kind of like looking at it's like, okay, wait. I haven't run into many Scions. And you're new to the party, you're new to the area, and there just happens to be- like how many other Scions are there out there? Like how many- like there's only so many that could have done something with this, and then like you guys talking about like, okay, it was a smaller individual, it was someone at least smaller than Yennward. That's pretty- that's a pretty big gap in terms of like that's- there's a lot of stuff smaller than Yennward. So it's not- not accusatory, just like, huh, like, I don't really know that much about you, I'm just kind of realizing.
Okay, yeah, Una's gonna straight up ask the question to both of them, seeing that look, and just say, um, do either of you happen to know of any other Scions? Um, Dantis will just nod, like she is aware of one. Technically two, because she knows about Dagon now. Yeah, that- Brie would- Brie would also nod. Um, I'm just gonna give them like the go on look. I'm assuming, wow, she's cutting off the horn, so she's like- she's cut, you know. While hacking off the- Really sawing the bodies in respect, you know. Santos will kind of motion over Brie and be like, well, this is the one that- that Brie knows, and a guy I know, but I don't know where he is right now.
And then he's- she's gonna look right over at Merrick and be like, you know, the one that I want you to help me find. Merrick will nod, like, haven't forgotten. I don't think Dagon would have done this. At least, not- not what I know of him. He didn't seem- he didn't seem to lash out tight. Brie is just gonna kind of look at the body again and look up to Una and like, so you knew this guy? Um, I'm just gonna kind of like shrug. Met up with him, his group, fought with him. He actually, funny story, and then she's gonna stop because she's like- Yeah, Brie's gonna look like- like just kind of- kind of tight-lipped.
Bitch, that's my story. So here's- okay. House Dragonkeep was nice enough. Tessia specifically was nice enough to buy Brie a new set of clothing. Hers were kind of tattered and fucked up after everything that happened. They were bowling. She showed her tummy, does she have a scar? She does. Yes! She's gonna sort of like, kind of unbutton the bottom here of her shirt and just sort of like lift it up. And there is a- there's a- there's a- like a scar, like a sizable scar where- And she's just gonna sort of like point like to that and then we- we were in a fight and he accidentally gored me.
It's a long story, but I died. Okay. At this ordinal game, Una- Dantos is a little hung up on the accidentally. Dantos is a little hung up on the accidentally. She was just like, "Alright." And Ordan gives Una a look of dumb. Kaluna looks real confused. Like, how the- how the fuck? And she's gonna- I mean, I would imagine she'd pick up on it. He didn't mean to. He- we were- we were in a fight in Winterhaven and he was aiming for someone else and they pulled me in front of him. And then she's just gonna kind of- kind of straighten her shirt back up and button it.
Doesn't matter now anyway. 'Cause it's all good and everyone's alive and I've got these horns and we should burn this body and get the fuck out of here. I'm not even sure we should burn the body. It's gonna take too long. Let's just- let me say a few words. Let me just take care of some stuff just to make sure that I can feel okay about this. Do something respectful and let's get out of here and just take whatever we can. You guys in the carriage can look through everything and kind of make an assessment of what we have and maybe what kind of value those things are.
But let's just get on the road. Kaluna's gonna poke their head in the back and look at all the shinies. Una's gonna point to Bree and say, "I think, just based on the circumstances, him killing you and whatnot, I think you get first dibs." She's desperately trying to lighten the situation. Right, yeah. And again, like, kind of thousand yards there because in her head it was, "Boy, I can't wait to meet up with him again." And it's like, "Hey, everything's okay." It would be that. And it's kind of a reversal of that. And again, just kind of snapping out of it, "I'm fine.
I don't really think I could use anything that he was carrying on him anyway, but where do you think the rest of his party is?" I mean, they didn't do anything with the body? They didn't... To be honest, they didn't seem like, I don't know, the most unified band of brothers, you know what I mean? And honestly, that question is exactly why I'm getting more and more nervous the longer we stay out here. I think we should get back on the road. Is Merrick Dunn saying his little words? Wow, that could not sound more pandering if he tried. Is he done with his little prayer thing?
I mean, yeah, we're still Bree. Una doesn't care about if he's blessed or not. I think Merrick would suggest, "Everybody get back in the carriage. Go ahead and get the carriage back out to the road. While you're doing that, I'll just do some respectful, you know, whatever stuff. And then I'll just be right there. Give me two minutes." While he's doing that, can Thanos kind of like, I know there are footprints and stuff, but can Thanos kind of take a closer look at everything in case anything was dropped or anything like that? Yeah, okay, here's what I'd like to do.
Let's see here. Like she is kind of, basically she's looking for any proof that it might be the guy she's looking for. Yeah, I kind of figured. Yeah. Let's see, what would that check be? Because I have something in my head, but it's kind of... Insight? Well, you can't insight the ground so much. Bluff? Dungeoneering. What? Okay, here's what I'd like you to do. Do me a favor and roll a perception, but I want you to be looking for a very specific type of thing. Alright, I'm doing a perception. Bam. 20. 20! 20 is more than some numbers. This is true. Don't look at the actual dice roll, look at the final thing, because I have a +14.
This would definitely be a thing where, if you're looking at these footprints, and there's a skirmish, you can kind of tell the difference between someone, like two people just really having it out and there's a big, like a muddy, kind of, you know, two people just going at it. And you can kind of tell the difference between that and someone who's a skilled fighter, like someone who knows about foot placement, and how to carry themselves and how to use the minimal amount of movement and force to get the job done instead of just flailing and hacking and stuff. And it looks like you can definitely tell where Yenward's footprints were.
And you can tell that like he's taking some pretty big swings. Yes, pretty big swings and like kind of all over the place. And it looks like he's, maybe he's kind of the equivalent of swatting at a fly. Like taking that big axe and just like cleaving at the air, swinging, swinging, swinging, probably not hitting much, because you're not seeing much in the way of blood anywhere else. So the story kind of looks like whatever happened between these two was very much there's some sort of altercation. Maybe an argument got out of hand or maybe these two knew each other, something.
And then swing, swing, swing, swing, swing, one hit dead. Can Thanos put her foot up against like the footprint of the other person? Yeah. And see how it compares? I would say with a perception check. It looks like it's larger than Thanos's foot, but not too much larger. Like probably grown man larger or grown woman? Grown definitely. You couldn't really tell gender from this, but the foot placement, this person had some skill, like they were trained by someone. Too bad Disra don't have like webbed feet or something. That would come in handy. Just duck flippers, just all of them.
So Thanos is going to kind of like furrow her brow because there's a chance and she's going to, I don't know. There is one more thing. So I mentioned the, it looks like this body was, this person was killed, the young one was killed. And then it looks like this person may have spent some time after the fact. And the second crowd arrived. And then they went in different directions. So the crowd came together and then left in different directions. It looks like the crowd went back to where they had come from, which was in a southerly direction. And then this person left in a different direction than them.
It looks like they were maybe heading north? Like maybe these two groups met up? Yep. Like maybe they passed, oh okay, what direction are we going in? North? So in the direction of the group or as the one person? One person. Okay. So we could either change direction and go ask who it was, or we could just follow the person. Would this be something you'd be sharing with the group? You know what, she's gonna pull Bree aside. Okay. Or Una. Both of them. Fuck it. Okay. Let's get the girlfriends over here. I'm trying to think of who she trusts the most and Merrick's a little busy right now.
She's gonna pull them both aside like, "Hey." Not like that. That's pretty mean. I was about to say, wow. They winny and come over. Kind of tilt her head and nod at them. Like, just signal for them to come over and she still has her foot next to the footprint on the ground. Yeah, Una will definitely come over. It looks like something's interesting. Yeah, Bree would join too. She's gonna start by looking at Bree and be like, "Remember how I told you I was looking for someone?" Yeah. I think it might be him that did this. Obviously I can't be fucking sure because it's a fucking footprint, but how many Scions are there?
Well, that's the thing. Recently, I've never run into anybody like me for years and then all of a sudden it seems like I'm tripping over them. So why would that be? You said you came here from off-continent, right? Yes. And so did this person. He's a gift's ride too. Do you have any idea why? I don't know why he's here, but he told me he would be. He told me that he'd be on the mainland. Una's gonna like, her eyebrows will have been kind of like raising throughout this conversation. Clearly there's something I don't know. Is this someone you're looking for because they're a friend?
I'm gonna kill them. That kind of person. Alright. And why? And she's gonna kind of tense up. It's kind of a long story. Perfect. We have a giant wagon ride. Okay. You don't have to tell us right now, but if it were him, do you have any idea why he would just kill Yenward? I mean, does it fit the description? Just lash out at people? Santos is gonna like, her jaw is rock solid right now and she's going to kind of lick her lips like, yeah. I mean, it's not the MOI. It's not the MOI I've seen, but yeah. And she's gonna kind of point in the direction of the footprints.
He's going the same way we are. Brie would kind of look at Una like, okay, you can see that she kind of wants to push it, but it's like, okay, how about we get back on the wagon and we can talk about it on the way if you feel comfortable? Una's gonna open her mouth like she wants to fucking know, but she will look at Brie and realize, oh, this is one of those sensitive situations. So she'll just kind of bite her lip and say, okay, you know what? I don't like standing in fields with dead bodies that are inexplicably blasted away, so let's get going. Santos will give a terse nod, like kind of a resolute, like, okay, we'll do that.
But then as they're walking back to the carriage, she'll say, kind of mumble like, he's stronger than us. And then she'll just get in and not say another word. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, would this be loud enough for Brie? Brie and Una could probably hear, like, because it was to let them know, like, this is fucking dangerous, but then she's gonna kind of walk right into the carriage as if she hadn't even said it. Una's gonna look at Brie, like, flex her bicep and like, just wink. I, okay. I'm not sure if that would help comfort her very much. As cute as that is, like, I'm sure it'd be like that.
I'm sure her panties are soaked. Job done. Um, I feel like it would be like that false smiley part, like, yeah, everything's gonna be great. And then give one last look back to Yenward, like, okay. One hit killed him. And then thinking about like, okay, I've fallen next to Yenward before. That's probably not good. Like, unless, like, you kind of do that thing where it's like, well, maybe he had his guard down, maybe he wasn't ready for a fight, maybe, and then you just kind of, you go over, like, all the possibilities and it's like, or maybe this person is so clearly out, like, outside of the league that, you know, we're used to playing in.
Like, like, all that is probably going through her head. Part of me wants to think that Brie also knows that Thanos would not admit that easily. Right, like, it's, yeah. Just in the brief, brief window of time that Brie has known Thanos. Okay, so we're in the wagon, we're fucking off now. Words have been said. Yep, done. I'll get, yeah. So you guys go in the wagon. I would show as fuck off as we head off. When Thanos gets in the wagon, like, she kind of sits up against the edge and she draws up one of her legs, like, very much the body language of like, this is uncomfortable and I'd rather be outside right now, but she, if, if it's what she thinks it is, she has to warn you guys.
So she kind of has one leg up, her arm over it. Can, can Una like sit, not like next to her because like that's like a weird thing, but can she sit across from her? Is the wagon like laid out like that? Oh yeah, no, there's like, I picture it like two benches, like on either side or like just, yeah, there's, there's, there's room for like cargo or someone to just sit on the ground if they wanted to. And there's, there's like benches on either side of it. Think of like, you ever, you ever see like someone in the back of like, like, like prisoners being transported, something like that?
Like, like, like the intro to Skyrim. Yes. The worst intro to a video game ever, yes. No, there are worse. To a good video game ever. Right, okay. So, these wagon stairs. So, like the opposite of, anyway, sorry. Perfect. Okay. So, it's gonna like sit across from her and just kind of like lean forward with her elbows on her knees, just kind of like trying to get like as close to her as possible without invading her personal space and trying to be quiet. Like, obviously she'll kind of like nudge Bree like I'm going to talk to her about this stuff, but she's going to try and keep it away from, like, anyone else who's in the wagon just because she seems to not want to talk super loud about it.
I'm just like, so you want to kind of flesh out the conversation we had just a minute ago. She's gonna nod and just kind of scan the area, like who came in the carriage besides her and Bree? Like who wants to see her? Julie's there and very much like Julie would be like, what? Like, what? What's going on? Like curious or not giving a fuck? No, no, curious. Like definitely curious, but like to her it was like, it was a dead body like they're everywhere. Like why is that? Why is this such a, such a thing? Is Merrick and Clunis still like upfront driving? That's what I figured, yeah.
Okay. But still with an earshot, like definitely unless they were whispering like... Yeah, Una will be whispering for sure. Sorry. It's okay. I just asked Jason a question in chat. Yes. Okay. Character question that I was like, shit, I forgot to ask you before the session. Yeah, it just feels like it's clear that Thanos did not seem to be like super pumped on talking about it. So it wouldn't be like speaking out loud, you know. So Thanos is gonna kind of whisper back, but kind of blaring out the window because this is an uncomfortable thing for her to talk about.
His name is Kaltos. And he told me he'd be on the mainland. I don't know why he told me. I don't even know why he left me alive. So Una's been like, you know, like hands on knees, like, or, you know, elbows on knees, like kind of like staring at Thanos at this. And at this point she'll like, just like take out the horns and just kind of like start like whittling them and like, you know, just making them into nice little cups and whatnot. But like just doing something where it's like, I don't have to look at her and she doesn't have to look at me, you know, we can just have a conversation without having to make eye contact.
It's just because there's like emotion involved or it's like, I don't know what to do with my hands type of thing or is it... Kinda. It's kind of out of respect for Thanos. Like Thanos doesn't want this to be like a super mushy, like, let's have a feels conversation. So Una's just gonna be like, yep, I'm just whittling and talking like your grandfather would. It's just like, so fight? You guys got in a fight? Santa's going to nod. If you can even call it that. And like if this, like if the silence goes on for more than like 10 seconds, she'll look over to Bree.
You know, you know how your dad kept people from finding out about your power? Yeah. It's a really good fucking idea. When they found out about mine, they took me and they studied me and I was... And she's going to keep trailing off like she cannot find the right words because it's all bullshit and she just doesn't want to talk. And then she's like, my hero took me out of there. And he brought me to a school, the LR, and he trained me. But it wasn't about being strong. It was about being fucking something. I don't... Like she doesn't even want to talk about it too much.
Like she just wants to get through the story so she can get to the point that matters. One day I came back from a walk and I heard screaming. I ran into the school and they were all dead. I was the oldest one. And they were like audibly just like, "Mmm, like dead kids. Awesome." Danto's just going to nod. He killed everyone and he hadn't even broken a fucking sweat. And I charged him and I tried to fight him, but... The way I had learned to fight wasn't good enough. It wasn't strong enough. He fought with this pure fucking power that I couldn't... I was no match for him.
And she's going to kind of like meet Una's eyes at that like you don't fucking understand. Una's mouth will actually twitch up in one corner like a tiny little smile. She knows a little something about fighting things she's no match for, but she's not going to necessarily give that away. She's kind of like a tiny smirk. And not like a smirk of like, "Little girl, you don't get it" kind of smirk. Like a smirk of like a self-deprecating almost. Look, if it was him and he's nearby... I want him dead, but we aren't any match for him right now. Even as a group.
Okay... Do you know why he did what he did? No. I... When I was outside, after I'd found the children and before I found... He was talking. It sounded like he was mad at my teacher. I don't know. But... That doesn't explain why he left me alive. It doesn't explain why he told me where he'd be. But that... Doesn't matter. Bree's... Bree's gonna look down for a minute. Thanos, were you and your teacher close? Thanos is just gonna nod. Um, Bree would look over... Bree would kind of like glance over to Una for just a second. Is there anything in that glance or is it just a glance?
It's more like, "What do you think?" Kind of, you know, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" type of thing. Um... She'll give her a little side-eye glance back and just like... Do a tiny little head shake. Just like, "Fuck." Like, she just like does not... Necessarily know what to say. Um... Like her instinct is to like lighten the mood. But like that's not the time for this so she's just like shedding the fuck up. Um, while they're doing their meaningful lover's gaze... Thanos kind of very resolutely staring out the window and she's going to reach up and...
It almost looks like she's punching her own face but it's clearly wiping away something. But like very fucking stubborn. Like very stubbornly not letting anything fall down her cheeks. And very stubbornly not letting either of you see her face. Like she has... Her hair is in her face so that you cannot see her. Um... Well... I mean... It's just another person on the list of people to kill, right? Pencilman. You know, I think we have some time in between saving the world and killing our enemies. So, you know? Was that the plan? You track them down, find a group to help you and then...
Yeah. She only wants us for our hammers, Bree. Um, Thanos will nod and just... Yeah. You said that we're not a match for this person. What... What do you think would even the playing field if they're so... Powerful or well trained that they could take on all of us. Assuming all of us were gonna fight him. I mean his track record is a school full of children so we better watch the fuck out. He did kill you inward. It was gonna shrug like... You know, she's not being overconfident. She's just being like, "Meh." When, okay, when Una jokes about the children... Whoops.
Thanos is gonna look up and her eyes are black. Or no, red. Like, burning red. Like... She's not gonna say anything but you can see, like... Her hair is in her face but then her eyes are glowing bright red. Oh my god, that's horrifying. Right? Is that a thing that Gitzra I do? Like, would I know that? Or is that just like some crazy Sion shit? That's her Sion. Yeah. Like, Bree goes black, Thanos goes red, I think Dagon goes white. Alright, she's... It's just gonna look like horrified. Kind of at herself for making that joke. Kind of at the glowing red eyes and just say...
"Pretty." Bree would kinda... Okay, Bree's trying to be reassuring because she gets it. Like, she does. She might even reach over and just kind of put a hand on... Just like, on the knee, something like that, just kind of trying to be reassuring. I understand the whole vengeance thing. I do. But don't you think this person's clearly baiting you? They want you to find them? Or chase them for... For whatever reason? Thanos is just kind of... Her hands are shaking. Like, they're not glowing, just her eyes right now. But her hands are shaking like she's really trying to keep herself calm.
Who the fuck cares? I think she'd be the... It'd be the thing like, "Okay, okay." Like, just kind of like withdraw the hand. Just kind of put up like, "Okay." Anybody else in the party hearing this, would they have a thought? I feel like at this point, it's not really a silent conversation anymore. No. Kelan is just uncomfortable up front. I kind of think Merrick's in the same position. I think just... I think just letting this be Thanos' story, and this fills in some gaps for him. Just exchanging glances like, "Oh, God." Yeah, like, "Oh, that's what's going on." Weather today.
Yeah. No, I think just... He would just be respectful of, "This is the story, and okay. I'm not gonna get involved." "I'm not gonna, you know, like, 'Hey, that was cool! Good story!' or something." After Thanos clearly doesn't give a shit if he's baiting or not, and is gonna like look at her and say, "Well, then what happens if we run into him?" Or he "runs into us?" I mean, are you gonna have a conversation? Are you gonna try and kill him? You know, like, what's... It's better to have a plan of action than to just go in there without knowing what's going on and what you're gonna do.
Because honestly, if we're gonna fight him and we see him, then we should probably kind of immediately fight him. Thanos is kind of like, not obnoxiously rocking back and forth, but clearly trying to just... If she had her way, she would be back up on the roof again or something away from people, but this conversation does need to be had. I might not have this chance again. It's just gonna shrug, like, trying to help out Thanos and be like, "Okay, that settles it." And just say like, "Well, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Or blow up that bridge.
Or murder that bridge. Thanos, you said that you were at a school and you had a teacher. What were they teaching you? My hero was a monk. His name was Apollos, and... He wanted to teach me to control. My emotions. And it's almost like as she's saying that, she's trying to remember the things he taught her. Because she needs them right this second. When did all this happen? Right before I boarded the ship. So this just happened? Yeah. Una's gonna look really sorry for making jokes about dead kids earlier. She did not realize that this is a thing that had just happened.
She knows Thanos is young, but she didn't realize... She thought with me it was when she was more of a kid, not a teenager. So she's gonna look really contrite, just like, "Fuck." Well... I don't speak for everyone here, obviously, but... I'll help out in whatever way you need. I get it. I'm... I'm probably not as skilled as your teacher or... Or a lot of people, but... I have been a scion for a long time, so if... If you want help trying to... To harness that or practice... I'm here for that too. Una's gonna bite her lip while Bree's talking. Wait a second until she's finished, and then she's clearly trying to keep it in.
But she's like... She killed a fucking dragon, okay? A legendary fucking dragon. She's like so proud of this. She'd be quick. What? She'd be very quick to be like, "Okay, I was in its mouth." "It wasn't like I just walked up and uppercutted it." "I was in the mouth." "I couldn't be... I was half a second from being eaten." "And then I almost died after." She'd be quick to kind of downplay it. - Una's gonna be like, "I'll play that." - She corrected it just like that? Una's gonna be like, "I'll play that." But no, she crawled into its... She was in its fucking mouth and blew its head up.
She's just so cool. This is awesome. And that's how Kaelthorne died? She would be... She'd be kind of quiet for a second. Strahd. Fucking Strahd! Strahd? You killed Strahd? I had a hint. There were lots of people. She killed it, dude. To be fair, I got a tie. When did this happen exactly? Couple weeks ago. A lot of stuff has happened between then and now. Has anyone else here killed a legendary dragon? Am I the only one who hasn't? Kaluna will pipe up from the front. "We haven't!" Just very reassuring. Like, "Don't worry, bud. Don't worry." Yeah, I think if you're looking from the camera towards the front and if you can see the backs of Kaluna and Merrick, Merrick would just sort of give a thumbs up.
Remember, he's got a cloak on and he's got a big long straw that he's just chewing on. With a big wide brim hat. I just imagined McCree but with a straw hat. Just thumbs up the suspenders. Una's gonna look at Thanos and give her a really subtle smile. "This group may be stronger than you think." Thanos will just kind of... Not... Even though she did look impressed by the dragon thing and look over at Bree, by the time the focus is back on her, because you were talking to Ordon for a while, during that time she had already gotten back into full brooding mode.
God damn. What a fucking thing. You play it so well. I mean, she did watch a bunch of children die a month ago. I mean... No, it makes sense. There were like 14 kids under 12 years old. And they were in pieces. She's not gonna paint a picture, but I will. They were in pieces. Well then how do you know they were 14? Well, she lived with them. She was friends with them. Yeah. Like maybe some of them... She lived with them for two years. So they were all really close too. Maybe some of them escaped. Like if you didn't find all the pieces and jigsaw that back together...
That's true. Oh, it's fucked up in his arms. So she's kind of just glaring out the window again. Not glaring. Glaring is the wrong word, because that would imply anger. But it's kind of more just like... Disconnected? Yeah, like staring out, trying to... Her eyes are back to normal, staying calm, but... That's the first time she ever told anyone about what happened. Because she knew that no one would believe her. Back home. So she just came here and... Ran into people who have murdered dragons and like... Imminidative fucking kings and shit. Just like, "Yeah, no, we believe you.
Yep, that's how the world works." Children murdered. Yep, that was my first mission, I think. Brie would speak up after a second. And by the way, while all the talk about Strahd and everything is going on, Julie would kind of be glaring at Brie again. Just like, while you're talking up, Brie, it's like fucking killed you. Yeah, she's great. There's still a little bit of bad blood there. Like a little bit... She did threaten to pop my head like a gutter. Can I do it, please? What, the insight? Please? No. 'Cause baby, now we've got bad blood! You used to be mad love!
Okay, proceed. I'm gonna insight check that. That's a terrible song. That's what you glean from that. I agree. I agree that it's a terrible song. Not gonna stop me. Yeah, I think it would be in the midst of talking it up and everything. You'd look over to Julie and see that's probably still a thing. Probably you get why, but it's... You can tell that Julie's not gonna do anything about it. It's more just like... It's more just like... Kind of a shithead. Like, just that. Not... She wouldn't hurt Brie or anything. That's not really Julie's style. Just, she's not a fan.
Alright, when the conversation calms down, everyone's kinda like not talking so much anymore, you're just gonna put like a really smug arm around Brie. Brie would speak up. Thanos, I think that this person is trying to get you to follow them, but... So far it looks like he's... Fighting either people younger than him, or on one on one. Do you think he would try to do something to you if you were in a party? He doesn't have to worry about doing something to me. If I see him, I will go after him. I don't care if it's a trap. Okay. Thanos is gonna kind of like...
After a second, she wipes her face again, and then pulls her hair back, and looks at Brie. Look. You know better than anyone that it's about emotion, right? It doesn't matter how strong you actually are physically, right? Right. I feel more hate for him than he could ever feel for me. Look. I'm not disagreeing with you. I... I get hating someone enough that you want to kill them. I do. But your body's gonna have a limit, eventually, and you're gonna hit it. I'm just saying when the time comes, you should... You should be ready to... You should just know that you're ready to handle that.
That's why I signed up for this. I figured whatever you guys did... This God... whatever... She does say it like that. Whatever this fucking shit is... I'll keep pushing myself. And by the time we're done, maybe I'll be stronger. Do you have any idea why he'd want to go up north? What he might want? She's just gonna shake her head. We didn't really chat. Right. I'm sorry. It's not what I meant. No. It's fine. It's... I don't know anything about him except his name and the fact that he's going to be on the mainland. And those are things that he told me. Alright, then.
I agree with Luna. We just deal with it when it comes up. Would anyone else have anything to say? Nope. I have a question about my horn cups. Okay. So, how long would it take me to make little cups out of the horns? Probably a little while. Is this something I can be working on during the wagon trip? Oh yeah. Like knitting a scarf? Yeah. I mean, that's definitely the equivalent of popping in an audiobook or something. It'll take a while. But yeah. Especially if you're working on it with a dagger or something like that. You probably wrap it up in a couple of days.
Two or three days. Something like that. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Continue. Okay. So I want you to know. Yeah. The horns aren't huge. So it's not... you know. Yeah. And you're just making little cups out of it. So yeah. Okay. That's probably a good time for us to stop for the evening. And then we'll probably pick things up in Aldmoor by the time we... by the time we play again and then roll onto Uminyara. Does that sound good? Yes. Can't wait to fight a bunch of wizards, guys. I'm bringing Uminyara down back to Earth. Whatever. To Theron. I just hope we're not on it at the time.
On the 15th of Thorm, in the city of Esterhold, the new mayor, Jadzia Grace, is going to be a little bit more active. Is preparing for a guest. How's about we pick things up in the office? So it would be Jadzia and Valus. Valus, as of now, would pretty much... I guess the title would be what? Chief of Security? I don't know... I mean, it's sort of a captain of the guard position? I don't know what he would be in charge of, really, but... I'm not even sure if they'd name it, honestly, because it's Valus. I think he might be like, "No names." Yeah, just... I get shit done.
That's all. So what would Esterhold be looking like in terms of policy? What would be some things that Jadzia would be working on? Right now, the main things that Jadzia is focusing on is rebuilding the town, which she has the paladin's help with. Working on the crime situation, and she's kind of taken a note from her mother-in-law, and she's trying to make sure that people who are turning to crime because they have to are able to get jobs. And those who turn to crime because they want to, she leaves that to Craig and Valus. And she's trying to make sure that the children get taken care of because there's a lot of orphans in Esterhold now because of the whole war/straw situation.
Yeah, that's gonna be a long-term problem, but at least they have adequate housing and they're getting fed and no one's starving in the street, that type of deal. And then on a lesser level, she's also working on education reform type deal because she thinks that people should be educated. And one of the things that she kind of, not stress, but make sure was being taken care of is that there's something in... She's kind of trying to get people to be more socially aware of other races and kind of get rid of that Overwatch-y feel. Right. Without, like, she's not gonna force anything right now, but it's kind of a thing where she's trying to be very open about how other races are not to blame so that other people will kind of echo that sentiment and it might spread.
Yeah, Overwatch, they had a little bit of influence over Esterhold. Esterhold governed themselves and they weren't racist, really. It was ignorant in certain areas, I think would be the best way to put it. So, not outright militant and it is a very... It's not a segregated city by any means, but at the same time, there may be a couple of prejudices here and there. Right, which is another reason for the education side of things to kind of take root. Right. So, what would you actually be doing in the office right now? Probably pacing. Because she knows that the time is coming and she's freaking out a little bit, but she doesn't want to be freaking out, so she's just kind of pacing and her lips are kind of moving like she's having a discussion with herself in her own head.
Right. Valis would probably watch this for a while because I kind of imagine that that's just Jadzia's process. It's par for the course. If she's not reading, she's doing that or she's settled. Right. So, after a while of watching this, he knows that the time is kind of drawing near. Are you sure you want to do this? Where is Valis? What's he doing right now? I would imagine he's kind of standing in the corner, arms folded, sort of not on high alert or anything because it's just you two in the office, but he knows what's about to happen. Jadzia will stop pacing and I imagine she's wearing just like her casual dress and a cloak and she'll take off the cloak.
She'll take off all the coke. She doesn't want that on her right in front of the captain of the guard. She'll take off her cloak and kind of put it over a chair and sigh like, "Okay, I'm acting a little bit crazy." And then turn towards Valis. It has to be done. I would imagine he has some sort of new outfit because he's not wearing his standard adventure gear, but I imagine he's wearing some sort of leather coat-ish type of thing. Something to denote him as having some... Not a shirt. No, don't put a shirt on him. It's amazing. In fact, Jadzia would demand the new uniform for the captain of the...
No. Continue. But it's not something he's used to wearing or even comfortable in, so it's something he'll try to tug at it every once in a while to smooth it out and just kind of like... Like if someone's not used to wearing a tie or a jacket or something like that, just constantly like... I'm not comfortable with it. Jadzia's gonna smile and walk over and kind of teasingly go, "You're not comfortable with most things," and she's gonna kind of adjust his jacket for him. Do you think that any good is gonna come from this? That... They'll back off? She'll sigh and kind of nod, but it's more wistful nod and say, "I hope so." I just know that enough problems have arisen because people were trying to ignore smaller ones.
I just don't see why all this lands on you. She's gonna think about that for a second and then shrug. Someone has to come forward. And I can't be a very good mayor if I don't take responsibility. He's gonna look down, just like, "Yeah, I know you're right," but just kind of grumble, just like, "I still don't like it." Kind of just like, "Yeah, well if you're gonna bring logic into this, fine." She's gonna laugh because that does relieve some of the tension and get on her tippy toes, cup his cheek in her hand, and give him a little kiss. It'll be okay.
He's gonna kind of look out the window for just a second. It's just about time. Should I go get him? Yes. And then as he walks away, she's gonna take his hand and smile at him and say, "Valice, don't worry. We've both survived much more than politics." He's gonna do that thing where you try to smile to reassure somebody, like, "Yeah, this'll be great." But his smile kind of looks like a grimace. It looks like someone--it's like, "This is what smiling looks like, right?" And it's kind of this pained--but he'll nod his head and he'll exit the door to Jadzia's office, and there's this little hallway that rounds a corner and kind of opens up into a sitting area.
And there will be a drow sitting there. And again, he'll straighten out the second Valice sees him. Was he doing that annoyed at a DMV type thing of just tapping his fingers on his arm? Very just-- Glad you brought your fucking kid. Right. Very, um...not relaxed, but definitely not stressed about this entire situation. Just kind of sitting down. You'd almost expect him to be pacing or something, or maybe give some body language. It's like, "This guy could attack at any minute." But no, just kind of relaxed, which is somehow worse. It's very tough to read.
Seraph. We're ready. Everybody, that was an amazing episode. I'm sure you agree. This is Jasper playing Merrick on group three, and there's a bunch of things you need to be able to do, because you love us and we love you. One of them is go check out our website, dandrpodcast.com, because that's the hub for absolutely everything. We've got links to cool Twitter stuff and whatever and all the places, all the social media. Also, we've got some t-shirts out that are new and exciting and fun. You need to go to patreon.com and throw us five bucks, because you get some really great content.
You can throw us more, and you get even better content and amazing things and a bunch of behind-the-scenes stuff. And the last thing you need to do, because you still have time to do it, I think, but it's probably at the very end, is you need to go to Dragon Con in Hotlanta. It's coming up at the very beginning of September, and a bunch of the cast members are going to be there. I'm going to be there, and we're going to be hanging out, and we're going to have all kinds of stuff to do and talk to you about. So, that's it. Thanks, everybody. Bye everybody.