Begin Again

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Howdy everybody out there. We are currently wrapping things up this week in DragonCon. Um, so this is obviously recorded before we left. So I don't know if our panels went well. I don't know. Who knows? But the bottom line is, just because we're away, doesn't mean we don't have an episode. Obviously, you're listening to 178 right now.

Since we don't have a sponsor this week, I guess 178 is brought to you by all the lovely people on Patreon. Speaking of which, those are the same people who brought you this episode of DRP. They brought it back, they resurrected it from the dead, we hit a milestone thanks to them. And from now on, we'll be doing a new episode of DRP every time we hit a new milestone. We're going to be going back through and sort of reshaping that so we'll get to do these more often. Everybody had a blast, as you'll be able to hear. And we can't wait to do more of these.

So thank you all for your support. Thank you so much. And we really hope that you enjoy this. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, starting with Rob. Hey, I'm Rob. I'm playing Cassie Drake, Human Warlord. And Jamie. Hi there, I'm Jamie. I am playing Kava Trewar, Dragonborn Fighter. And Susan. Hello, I am playing Sonya Bine, a... Whoa, I was going to say Tiefling Invoker. Gnome, Artificer. And Tyler. I'm Tyler, I play Doran, a Dragonborn Berserker. And Jake. Hello, my name is Jake, aka Draconis.

I play a Dragonborn Fire Mage. And, uh, I'm ready. I'm ready. Anybody else feeling it? I'm feeling it a little bit. I'm feeling it a little bit. I'm feeling myself. I'm feeling myself. I was perfectly fine with it. I was getting this feeling multiple times a month. I've been here this whole time. I was fine until like five seconds ago. This feeling isn't new to me. I'm ready. Put it in my veins. So, for those of you out there who are profoundly confused, we're gonna explain. Just ride with us on this for a little bit and you'll see where we're going with this. It is the 12th of Thorim.

And the last time DRP played canonically, it was the 21st of Amada. And a lot has changed. What we're gonna do is we are gonna go around the table here and we're gonna introduce these characters just a little bit more and let you know what they've been up to, some of the ones that have been returning. And kind of let you know who these new people are. So how's about we start with Cava? What has happened with Cava? Alright, so so far what has happened with Cava? Last we knew, she had taken over the Dragonborn with her companions and was reigning as queen.

However, Cava ages getting to her and she was in the midst of going into battle. And she threw out her back and therefore was kicked from the Dragonborn for being weak. So she's just trying to find her way back to that level of power again. And she's run into a few people that she has unfinished business with. So that's sort of taking precedence right now. And Draconis, what's Draconis brought to you? You would assume a lot. That's the first thing you would assume. Alright, for those of you who don't know Draconis, he's suffering from an illness where he requires bloodroot to basically survive.

And if you don't know what that is, that is a drug basically that acts like cocaine. It's a powdery substance. And he has kind of shifted off of that for the most part. Still needs it to live. But he now, he's kind of on the hard stuff. That's basically what happened now. He's on Yarrow? Yarrow is, yep, that is harder than bloodroot, yes. Yes. How many times, if you want to say, how many times harder than bloodroot would that be? If you had to do a little multiplier in there. Well, okay, let's say that Draconis was at the point in his life where he was using bloodroot medicinally, and that was kind of like, there'd be a little bit of a time afterwards where he freaks out, and it's like, Yarrow's like ten times more potent.

Ten times. And for those of you who haven't listened to Living in Theory or something like that, it cuts off the pain receptors to the body and basically sends you into overdrive. It's point you in a direction, take that, kill everything. Or just lash out physically violent, usually. So he's basically switched from cocaine to meth. Basically, yes. Yes. So that paints a nice picture, basically, in the situation that Draconis is in now. But you would probably think that he would, when I disappeared, I'm not going to go over everything right now, but the bottom line is I've been going to bottom of the barrel places, cities, little tiny cities, the cities, basically scraping by, getting what I can, scoring what I can, and trying to deal with the pain that I have inside, and basically trying to stay alive.

And I have hooked up with the group to basically get enough money to score what I need to stay alive. So that's about it right now. What about Sonya? Last we saw Sonya, she was with Cava. They had just taken control of the Dragonborn and Cava had become queen. Since then, Cava got kicked out and the Dragonborn didn't want a little gnome who played pranks on everybody around, so she went with Cava because she sees Cava as the strongest person she knows, so of course she would stick with her. And she wanted to stick with the nipple, so she's basically just been working on fixing up the nipple because she wants to get more money.

Can't wean her off that nipple. Can't. Yeah. When we say the nipple, we don't mean the bar, the rusty nipple in Brightport, we mean their means of conveyance, the little wagon. And for those of you who don't, we're going to get into what that looks like in just a second because I know you guys probably didn't hear DRP. This is... Yeah, I just heard we're on the nipple right now. That's the last thing I heard, so I was like, "Okay." Yep. We're all sticking with the nipple. What about Doran? Who is Doran? Well, Doran is now basically fulfilling his dreams and aspirations of going out and becoming sort of a hero and a well-to-do person out in Tharia after he...

The guy that he looked up to, Draconis, basically inspired him to do so, so now he's actually going out into the world as a strong fighter. And he's met up with the group and Draconis gets to now deal with the reality of what Draconis has become. I'm a great role model, so I know that. Cassie. Let's get to know Cassie a bit. Yeah, Cassie has been kind of on the road. It's kind of clear to the party that she's trying to get away from him something, but she kind of changes the subject if anyone brings it up or tries to ask her about her past. She did for a while work with keeping the orphans at Esterholt, but between her own expenses of living and wanting to find ways to take care of all the kiddos and so on and so forth, the money is running a little thin and she's certainly got some basic combat training, so she thought maybe if she hooked up with these adventurers, she could go and get a little wealthier and bring it back and keep herself afloat and maybe do something a little nicer for these orphans.

So all of you have been together for about eight, nine days, meeting up in the city of Esterholt and basically come to the conclusion that you working together trying to earn some money, and all of you are doing it for different reasons, would be a little easier than going out and trying to get the big score on your own. And there's a shopkeeper named Joost who works in Esterholt and runs a really ritzy shop. Basically very high-end adventurer's gear, that type of thing. He caters to people with real deep pockets most of the time. His stuff is off the charts in terms of, a lot of it is silly things like gold-plated battle-axes, that type of thing.

Some of it is really decorative and gaudy and awful, but he actually does have some really nice stuff too. And he is sending you out into the Blackrock Mountains because it's rumored that there is a very old artifact hidden in there somewhere. He's kind of gotten scouts looking for this type of thing and they think they've found it. Essentially what you are going to find, or trying to find, is this really old bell. And I'm going to have you guys run some checks and stuff based on descriptions of it in just a bit, but that is what you're after and he's paying a hefty sum for it.

He's going to pay you 8,000 gold upon its return and if it's in good condition and he can actually resell that, he is going to give you a cut of the profits for the sale. We're talking, okay, 8 in total? 8,000 total? 8,000 total for this. This is more of a dry run. He's like, okay, let's see. Okay, look. There he is full of adventurers that say they're going to do something. He's like, well, give us half up from that. We'll go make a map for you. Right. You know, that kind of deadbeats who promise to do something and then, yeah. So this is more of a dry run.

It's like, look, I'm always going to need new stuff and there is stuff that has been lost for hundreds of years. If you get this done for me, we'll do business in the future and I'll make it worth your while. That is what the promise is. Not to mention discounts at his shop. So this could be pretty heavily lucrative for you guys. Now, I would say you've been on the road now for a few hours from Esterhold and what you're traveling in, let me describe this. In Brightport, there is a bar called the Rusty Nipple, which is essentially a bar/den of ill repute.

And right now, currently, it's owned by Gratic. It used to be owned by Cava. Little bitch. This wagon used to be used around town. Picture a carriage with a giant bronze nipple on top of it. It is the worst material ever for this type of thing because instead of it being made of a breezy fabric that lets in air, it's essentially a fucking mobile oven. Can I roll something to see if I kind of fixed it? Sure. Let's see. Here, you know what? Let's see how well we could have done. Fixes it by punching holes in the ceiling. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Well, my building stuff is based upon Arcana.

Okay. Because when I build, not robots, but like... Robots. Yeah, sorry. Futurama. Robots. When I build the little obedient servants, it's based upon Arcana. So let's have you roll an Arcana check. Ha. I got this to work in my favor. Yeah, I did. What's up? Holy shit. Did I say worst material? Because that's not what I meant. I meant best. It feels nicer inside the nipple than it does outside, guys. Well, okay. Here's what you've done. Yeah. With Winter in Theria coming up, you're taking this and building it to your advantage right now. You've added air flaps and stuff so that this lets in air without creating drag.

And you've got a couple of horses to pull this thing. Yeah, I mean, the ride used to be terrible. It basically used to almost be square wheels, it felt like. It's really rickety and terrible. You've managed to smooth all of that out. Yes, it is an eyesore. It's not a pretty means of conveyance, and it never will be. It's a giant metal nipple. But with Winter coming, what it's going to do is it's actually going to soak up sunlight and keep whoever's inside nice and toasty and warm. And that is going to be very handy in the coming months. You'll see. Some guy named Malkus should look me up to build a carriage.

I'm really, really good at it. I've been looking for a professional carriage fabricator. You wouldn't believe it. While we're on the road here, I'm going to have you guys roll a flat D20 to see how well this journey is going. But it's going to go great. It's going to go great. Is there anything you guys would like to talk about? Okay, imagine you guys are on the road and this group doesn't know each other very well. I mean, Draconis and Cava and Doran all know each other, but they haven't seen each other in years and years and years. And Draconis is very clearly strung out.

Cava's injured. Everyone's just kind of, the rest of this party's just kind of getting started carving a name out for themselves. So... In what way is Cava injured? Her back has been thrown out. Like, it's pretty, pretty nasty is what I'm gathering here. I'm old. By the way, Joost essentially is sending you to this old abandoned temple which supposedly used to belong to the god Vecna and worshippers of Vecna. And there is supposedly a chest inside, like way deep inside, that's housing this old bell. This place is supposed to be a death trap. Supposed to be heavily guarded with old traps, things like that.

But mainly forgotten to time from what the scouts can tell. The doors haven't been opened in, you know, probably centuries. Like very, very, very old. And hopefully there won't be anything living inside when you get there. It's just navigating like dungeon traps, things like that. You get the bell, you get out, you return, you get your paycheck. So there's no like, no apparent like monsters that everybody knows about? No like legend of anything, guardian or anything that we know about? How about everybody in the party do me a favor and roll a religion or history check for me?

Oh, you got it right here. You got it. I know some history. Let's see. I don't, I do not. I do not. That was my religion. Yeah. We are so related, Draco. OK, I don't know enough history. Holy shit, I thought my role was low, guys. I know a little bit about history. Well, OK, Sonia and, Sonia and Doran would fill you guys a little bit from what it sounds like. And Joost is being kind of cagey about it, like any shopkeeper would be. Not as bad as Gratic, but kind of like, yeah, you know, it's worth like he's telling you it's worth something, but to kind of get you to go out and get it, he's not going to go risk his life, but just go get it and make it back to me.

Then I'll sell it. You'll get a cut. What it sounds like is the Bella Vecna, which is this, it's something adventurers tell each other around campfires. It's like, oh, man, there used to be this object that supposedly you could make a deal with that got it on death and like, you can bring back someone who meant something to you through a ceremony, that type of thing. And it's all very vague because the thing has been lost to time, apparently sealed away because it was being abused or the power twists and corrupts people that brings them back, that type of thing.

There's all kinds of stuff, the story surrounding it. Some people regard it as a way to bring back someone who was lost, no matter how long they've been dead and just bring their soul back to the world of the living, like just bring them back. Some people say that it brings them back, but the body's twisted and corrupted or their soul is tainted or all this. It's just not worth it. No one's meant to come back, that type of thing. So that's what they just told us? Well, that's up to Sonya and Doran, but they would know, "Oh, I've read something about this thing." But it's mainly regarded as like campfire stories that adults tell each other.

That's like, "Oh, yeah, we could totally bring Mary back if we had that type of thing." I don't know about Doran, but Sonya would probably tell everything she knew. Yeah, I'd probably do the same thing. Yeah, because Sonya's just like, "Oh, here's all this information. I trust you all." Doran doesn't seem like a type to keep secrets. No, I wouldn't, but I'd also be looking kind of sideways at Draconis, because I think by this point he would be kind of seeing how Draconis is. Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm unconscious right now. [laughter] Critical detail.

I just wanted to throw that out there. You were asking if we wanted to say anything. I'm unconscious right now. Okay, then Sonya probably would have just told Cava then, because Cava's her boss. Okay, in response, Cava would literally, "Sounds like a bunch of horseshit to me." I don't know, boss. Everybody talks about it. I've heard about it from a few places, so I'm pretty sure there's at least something to it. So is this all loud enough for the rest of the party to overhear if they want to? I'd imagine you're out of your carriage, yeah. It's kind of an enclosed space.

The nipple is not very large. I don't hear any of it, so... Well, no. So if this is really the thing we think it is, isn't it kind of dangerous just to give it to a shopkeeper to sell off? Not for 8,000 gold, it's not. Well, I guess we can see what it's all about when we find it. How else do you expect to make money, kid? We were given a job, we go get the thing, we bring it back. Unless you want to try selling it to someone else. I know, I know, and times are tough, so we'll do it. We'll get it figured out. But maybe if we think anything shady is going on, let's just follow our instincts, okay?

God, that's optimistic. That's the thing with optimism. Welcome to Cassie! Why it's too awkward, because it's so sweet. Sonya would look at a cava and give a "this guy" kind of look. Like, come on. Well, let me ask you this. Return. If we sell it to that guy, and he sells it to someone bad who does something really bad with it, is it our duty to fix that? Have we been paid yet? Mmm, let's say yes. Why not? Okay, good. Okay. I feel better already. Side eye to Sonya. Meanwhile, Cassie just kind of steps out to the outside of the carriage to look out over the horizon, and she's just coming to herself like, "Gonna find a bell, gonna help the orphans at the time." Oh, God.

I want Sonya to be driving the carriage like she's really small on the front seat and like looking through the window. I like it. Can I ask a question of Doran? Mm-hmm. What is your... So, okay, you said that Draconis was kind of your inspiration, and it's like, "I'm gonna be a warrior." What is your memory of Draconis versus what's passed out unconscious next to you in the carriage? Okay, so Doran basically sees Draconis kind of how he is himself. Like he's big, powerful, strong-willed. He was able to talk other people into getting the absolute best out of people.

Like he was that guy who was social and being able to really work with just about anybody and was generally one of the more positive influences and seemed like a guy who was destined to be one of the great leaders of our people. That's how basically Doran has seen Draconis at least beforehand. So would you say that Doran, seeing how Heskyn treated him and everything, like how Draconis got drummed out of the Dragonborn, would you see that as like a pretty big injustice? I think that would be a pretty big injustice because he doesn't... Because yeah, he does see Draconis as a guy who almost like...

Almost like one of those guys that it's like, "He is the future of our people." That is what I think we could see as someone to lead us into the next generation. At this point in time, as we're going down the road, I want some blood just start dripping down my nose and onto the side of the wall. And down onto the floor. So okay, that leads perfectly into like what would Doran's expression... How long would it have taken before it's like, "Oh my god, Draconis! I haven't seen you before!" How long would that have taken you to kind of like go, "Oh." Like how long would that have taken to kind of see that?

To be fair, I think Draconis has not been... He doesn't really hide his stuff well. So probably not long at all. Like not even... I think he meets up with Draconis and by the end of the day he knows what's going down. So I think we're at a point already where Doran kind of knows what's up with Draconis. Like what would Doran's reaction to that be? Would it just utter disgust or... I think at this point... Like, Doran still has a bit of hope but this is really... It's not like utter disgust or anything but it's just kind of like, "Oh, this is the real world.

This is the world I live in now." I think part of it is there's a lot of... like there's a bit more cynicism in him now. Because I imagine Doran when he first went out and then as he was meeting Draconis, kind of like Cassie. Like it was all like, "I'm gonna do good and I'm gonna be great and it's gonna be awesome." And then he kind of sees what his role model has become and there's a lot more criticism within himself now. I think he could still see Draconis as like, "You know what? I know what he used to be." "And maybe I can get that back but right now we'll just take things one step at a time." Okay.

And with Cava... So Draconis is Cava's nephew. Mhm. Yes. What would Cava's reaction to seeing Draconis again be? Well, I think her initial reaction upon seeing him would be that she would want to murder him. But yeah, she probably wouldn't think that the fight would be worth it. That he was a waste of space. So she's just gonna bide her time until the opportunity does seem worth it to her. Okay. With Cassie, what would Cassie's overall impressions be of this party? Of the party or of Draconis? Well, everybody. Like if there's something specific that jumps out at Cassie, go right ahead.

But like the party in general. Like you guys are just kind of getting started. It's only been a week. You're still kind of building that trust. This is your first actual, like, "Let's go out and do a thing." Yeah. Her assessment of the party is like, "Wow, this crew's a little rougher than I thought it would be." But at the same time, she's like... She sees it as, "Well, I kind of have to... Maybe I've lived a sheltered life prior to this, and I really have to figure out how the real world works. How things are on the road. That maybe adventuring and probing into dungeons and stuff isn't everything that the stories and the bards made it out to be.

I'm sure I can rise up to the challenge." Okay. What about Sonya? How would Sonya react to all the recent changes? Like, went from being pampered by the Dragonborn a bit, and then just kind of being cast out, and kind of starting over again, and all that. Well, for two years she had it real good at the Rusty Nipple, and then now they traveled. So I guess at this point she's used to the, "Oh, we gotta go somewhere else." But she actually kind of respects that Cava found Dorian, because he looks big and strong to her. Like, "Hey, yeah, good thing you brought them into the group.

Oh, and you got us a healer. But why is this fuckface here?" I'm like, "Uh..." "Dracodas, like..." Wait, who's the fuckface? "Dracodas." I know that. That's when he wakes up. She would not say that. She would not have said that out loud, but she's like, "Uh, Cava saved Sonya's life." So Sonya pretty much respects most decisions that Cava makes, except when it comes to gambling, and her poorer ones. So she's like, "Okay, I guess this is what we're doing now. I'll follow Cava." Cuz Cava's the boss. Oh god. Finally, Draconis. What... Okay, what is going through Draconis' head besides drugs?

What's he dreaming about? Is he doing the twitchy thing like dogs do when they're chasing stuff in their dreams? Actually, he almost looks dead. Completely lifeless. Oh, Jesus Christ. Blood is now pouring from his nose and... Well, not pouring, sorry. Dripping from his nose onto the floor of the nipple. Would the party react to that in any way? Like, would they... Okay. How often does this happen that... Would people be concerned at this point? Or it's like, "Uh, he's doing the thing again." I think that's probably it for Draconis. At this point in time, it's probably normal.

Okay. Even though they've only been together for eight days, it's probably like the eighth night that it's happened. Or day that it's happened. Kava is gonna kick over a bowl. It was a big deal the first two, three days. Now we just expect it. Yeah. Draconis has introduced Ebola into Theria. Nice. Even in spite of all how many times this has happened, when Cassie sees it, she kind of looks down and sighs and just kind of sits down beside Draconis' head and sort of rips a length of cloth and dabs at his nose to try to stop the blood. Awwww! This is either gonna end...

I don't know what the future holds, but this is either gonna end with Draconis getting clean and this being very heartwarming. And as she's like dabbing the blood, she kind of looks at the other party members and she says, "Baby steps. We can get him better. He'll figure this out." I'm just imagining Cassie with sparkles literally coming off of her. It's almost the case. Almost the case. You know that filter that has the butterflies around the forehead and then her eyes are all big and glittery? That's Cassie. He just needs to see that this isn't the right way to live.

And also, I want to just point out, as far as Draconis goes, he has no clue who the fuck Doran is. He's going along with anything that dude says. He has no clue who this dude is. Yeah, sure, man. Whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I borrow 20? Who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat D20 to see? I don't know. Tyler, Jake, did you ever get to do this on the show? Did we introduce that at that point? I don't think we did. What do you mean? Just flat D20? Here's how it works. While you guys are traveling, who knows what plethora of either inconveniences or favors or fortunes or whatever that might befall the group.

Here's how we do it, though. You roll a flat D20 and based on where you are, what's going on, the time of day. By the way, the sun is setting. That's why the table's changed a bit. I was wondering what was going on to make sure that wasn't me. No, it's not just you. I thought I was having a stroke. You're not having a stroke. I was like, "What is happening?" I promise you are not having a stroke. Someone's going to roll a flat D20, and that is going to judge the group's current luck. I will let you do that since I'm unconscious right now. Obviously, the lower the roll, the worse.

You're looking for high roll. This is some Knights of Pen and Paper stuff going on. Kind of, yeah. They ended up doing that. Eventually, it was like, "Oh, that's..." Oh, God, five. Oh. I did it. Let's flip the Dogs of War. Okay. Shit. Look at the bright side now, guys. That's my fault. None of you have to take the blame for that die. That's true. That is true. Yep. We're leaving her behind. No. Good job, sparkle tits. And then there were four. You guys are coming back, right? So you've been on the road for hours now from Esterhold. And it's getting to the point where you've been cramped up in the nipple now for a while.

And it's just kind of time to either stretch your legs, grab a snack, you know, kind of a picnic type thing. Like, you guys got a few hours before it's really nighttime and you gotta stop. But if you've ever taken a long road trip, it's like, "Okay, I need to stop at this gas station and just pee. I just need to stretch my legs and just grab a candy bar or something." And you're doing that. You're almost halfway between Esterhold and Odessia. Now, I might have you guys roll some knowledge checks and things like that in a bit. But actually, you know what?

Give me a streetwise check. Everybody in the party. Okay. Wha-cha! Got 'em. Yeah! Ooh, look at that. Mm. Fourteen. That's pretty impressive. Oh, no. Seven. I got no idea what's going on. Nope. Right? That is my lowest modifier. Why am I rolling the highest for all these skill checks? Come on, guys. So Cassie, Doran, not too hip with the word on the street. Draconis is a little more plugged in, probably based on buying drugs. It's probably the most realistic thing to happen right now, actually, character-wise. So Cabba, Draconis, and Sonya, though Draconis is passed out, but would know that you probably don't want to get too close to the city of Odessia because the last anybody has heard, there is a massive black dragon that soared clean over the mainland, like from the northeast, and made kind of a straight line toward Odessia, and the last anybody's heard has been camped out there.

No one knows where it came from, why, really, but that's... it is huge. And everyone's been pretty much avoiding the city. The city's been empty for the most part anyway. It's the last people to really make that their home, where the war forged and most of them are dead. So, yeah, it's been largely abandoned. On top of that, you know that the area around where you are now, there are things like trolls, hill giants, things like that, that are in the area, so keeping your eyes peeled would probably be a good idea. While you're taking a break, I would like everybody to do me a favor and roll a Perception check.

You know what Malchus and Cassie have in common? Terrible Perception checks. Oof. Oof. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Really high roll. All right. I'm doing great at everything else, and this is my highest check. Look at that 9. Look at that 9 looks right there. Sonya still beats me. Oh my god, everybody else has 2? Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. No one took Perception. Okay, this is gonna be fun. You're the chosen one. Oh, this is... Yeah, but I rolled a 1. I know. While you guys are hanging out, I imagine you're just sort of doing the thing where you stretch your back out, and you're grabbing a little... grabbing some snack packs from your bags and things, and probably grabbing some fresh water, things like that.

Cassie cracks open a Lunchable. Yeah. I imagine a pizza kind. Cassie and Doran are gonna hear a noise, and there's a lot of thick brush off the side of the road here, where you guys are. There's kind of a wooded area, and you're almost to the point where you're gonna have to veer off the road and start heading toward the mountains. It's more the southern tip of Black Rock, but you guys got a few hours before you'd even get there. But right now, from the wooded treeline, you're gonna hear a rustling. And then you're gonna... Any... Well, go ahead. As you say, any other noises?

Yeah, anything more clear? Anything more clear than rustling? But just after the rustling, you're gonna hear kind of a snort, and then you're gonna hear a squeal. And what it sounds like is... like boars, like wild boars attacking. And I'd like you to do me a favor, and the two of you roll a nature check for me. Hmm. Okay. Cassie would know that there are two types of boars, specifically in the mainland. There are your regular garden variety boars, which farmers will keep, you know, that type of thing. They're used to kind of chase off kobolds, things like that.

If they're a nuisance, it's better than a scarecrow. Then there are dire boars. Dire boars are not to be trifled with. It's not... Hunters go after them and stuff like that, kind of mountain stuff. It's kind of a... kind of a... it's like, "Hey, I tracked this down." The thing is, dire boars tend to hunt in packs, and they're really hardy. They can gore you in a few seconds if they surround you specifically. And they will attack without provocation. So Cava owns the wagon, right? Yes. Okay. Cassie draws her sword and pulls her shield off her back, and she says, "Can this thing outrun a boar?

Like a really big, angry, spiky boar that wants to kill us all?" I don't know. Can it outrun a boar? Yeah, can it? (laughter) I really tricked this thing up, so... Well, carriages on the whole are not built for speed. They're built for comfort. And the thing is, if as long as the thing doesn't notice you when you get on the road, it'll probably give up after a while if you really kick into the high gear. The thing is, if it notices you before then, things could get a little more difficult. Question. Is everybody outside of the nipple? That's a good question.

I would imagine just to stretch legs and stuff like that, you're not really far away from it or anything. I imagine it's within eyesight. Okay. Would your cone still be passed out? Yes. But he has all of a sudden noticed that the nipple has stopped. Okay. And he is going to begin to wake up and shuffle around, look and see there's nobody inside the nipple. Mm-hmm. And he's going to begin to crawl outside of the nipple. Okay. And at this point in time, Draconis wants to yell, "Where's the fucking bell?" I want to be clear. You said yell, correct? Yes. He wants to yell, "Where's the fucking bell?" Guys, these games are going to go so bad.

Let me get you guys a map. All right, let's do it. Let me just pull up my powers now. Oh, yeah. Get my PDF up. I have something called Fade Away. I keep going invisible. Awesome. I can leave the party to die. I'm sure it's not dire. I'm sure it's not dire. It's just the regular kind. I also want to point out that Draconis is not standing. He's on his hands and knees crawling out of the nipple also. In my college D&D group, anytime we'd have an encounter with enemies and we'd complain about how hard the enemies were, Matt, our DM, would say, "Shut up or it's dire." Wait, Draconis has to be upside down.

There we go. Perfect. Makes sense. Oh, he's going to be way back there. Not having to fight shit. Well, we'll see. We'll see. We're fighting, then all of a sudden fire comes out of nowhere. Oh, good lord. Okay, so picture, if you will, you guys are sort of hanging out and you're getting a drink of water. You hear a little rustle. And then just about the time you hear that rustling, Draconis is going to come shouting. What would the reaction be to Draconis shouting? Viral. Cassie kind of flinches and just looks at the carriage and goes, "Shh! It's going to hear you!" Kava is going to literal eye roll and put out her cigar and pull out her battle axe.

Doran's going to have that look of known, like, yeah, like basically almost kind of like Kava where it's just like, "Of course." Sonya's going to facepalm. Of course. Oh my gosh, they're here. Oh shit. Here's what's going to happen. These things are basically the size of small bears. They might not be dire, though. It is very clear. The second they start streaking towards you, you're going to hear this ungodly noise after it's like, "Who's the fucking bell?" You're going to hear them trampling brush and kind of parting branches and things like that just heading straight towards you.

It's very clear. And the second they emerge, they picture what a boar looks like, but much larger, thicker hides, kind of almost a scaly face where the snout would be and stuff. Huge, huge tusks. And along the back of their spine is coated these smaller ridges like horns all along the back of them. And they're going to charge great for the source of that noise. And to get to that, they're probably going to have to go right through you guys. So everyone, do me a favor and roll initiative. I just want you to know this is not my fault. Awesome. You know, shifting the blame is a common behavior among addicts.

If you guys just would have found the bell ahead of time. Notice what happened. Oh boy, howdy. Okay. So Draconis is prone, starting this fight. Oh shit. Yeah, that is interesting. Direborn number two. Direborn number two is going to run great for Cassie and is going to use gore, which makes sense, right? It does. Wow, that's a high roll. That is a high roll. That is a 16. Plus 11, huh? Immediate interrupt. Okay. Shocking feedback, an enemy hits and deals damage. Okay, do the damage and then I'll do something. Okay, sorry. 18 damage to Cassie. Okay. Hits and deals damage to one of your allies.

You quickly fire an enchanted shot at the attacking enemy. Then cause the magic from the enchantment to leap to your ally as a protective ward. Ooh. Oh, yes, that'll totally hit. Okay. 13 damage to the boar. And then the ally gains a resist five to all damage until the end of my next turn. There is no zombie, so I can't add it to her. Okay. We'll just have to remember. Resist five. Uh, Sonya, your turn. She's going to back the fuck up because she is not a tank. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay. And then since she's already attacking that one, she's going to throw barbed wires at it and wrap it around the boar.

Let's see if it hits. That will miss. Pfft. Wait, what's that targeting? 42. Oh yeah. That works. Okay, whatever. She tries. And that's it. Okay, Kaba. I don't want to go for this one because then I'm going to be surrounded, but it's fine. I'm doing it anyway. Bam. Okay. Whoa. Yeah, I'm not playing around, yo. Right down the center. Right down Main Street, everybody. Right down Main Street, yeah. Wow. And let's just pump it up and I'll do a Knee Breaker. I believe that's a Bailey? On diet is, a Direborn number one. Alrighty. Watch your fingers for a high roll, everybody.

That's a hit! Yay! I was like, "Aww." Okay, so the target is Slowed Save Ends. I just do a little... 25 damage will bloody the boar. Yeah, here you go. You're slowed by me. Anything else? If you are wielding an axe, a hammer, or a mace, the attack deals extra damage equal to your Constitution modifier, which is three. So it's just three extra damage. Alright, let's add three extra damage to that boar. You never know, that could come in handy later. Yeah, we're going to eat well tonight, guys. Bacon for all. You're welcome. God, I can't wait till this is over.

Let's see. Direborn number one, the one that Cava just struck, is going to... You know what? It's just going to try and gore. It's just going to try and gore Cava. Let's just... it is slowed, but it's not moving, so it's okay. Let's just try and do... Oh, crit miss! It manages to gore itself. Direborn number one will save, though, so it's no longer slowed. And Doran, your turn. You know what? I'm going to try something different than what I probably should be doing, but I'm going to back up a few spaces here. Back up... I'm just counting. I'll back up to about where... right next to Sonja.

And I don't really have a lot of ranged things other than ranged basic. That's my buddy. So... Most of my stuff has me actually up front, so for right now I'm going to do just a ranged basic attack on... I don't know which boar that is. The one that Cava's fighting. Direborn 2. Alright. And... assuming the worst. Wow. Oh, you got to target the thing. That will hit. Okay. You just used your one arrow. How could you do that? [Laughter] Oh, I was just going to say, as of right now, my main focus is to make sure that Draconis isn't going to start running away. Oh!

It's not to... okay. Yeah, no. I'm not just doing ranged for the hell of it. I'm making sure that Draconis gets into this. Okay. I thought it was to protect. No. Also, I am so used to you saying melee basic attack. Yeah. [Laughter] Anything else? No, I think that'll do it, other than how do I not select him now? Oh, there we go. Direborn 3 is going to charge at Cava. [Cava meows] And use Gore. [Gore hits] Oof. That'll hit. And that'll do 12 damage. And, uh, let's see, because he... whenever it hits and deals damage, it does... Okay, that's Furious Charge. Whenever the Direborn charges and hits, it deals 5 extra damage and pushes the target two squares and knocks it prone.

So Cava's gonna go back two squares and go prone, and that's 5 extra damage to Cava. So in total, 17 damage. Hey, we're both laying down. [Laughter] Nap time. Yep. And that will bring up Cassie. Cassie says, "Focus on one at a time. Each one we drop makes it easier." And she will shift diagonally to there. She will target her current boar, and she's gonna use powers... Doop-a-doop-a-doop. Well, none of my encounters, because those require allies. I bet boars have low will. So we're gonna go ahead and daily this thing. Cassie's gonna use Exemplar of Action. Strength versus Will.

And she is gonna... She's gonna swing it. She's gonna roll a 30 against Will. So this does 1 weapon plus strength damage as she brings her Longsword about and hits for a measly 7, but damage isn't my job. I'm the healer. So 7 damage and the target is Weakened and grants combat advantage. A saving throw ends both. Until the target is no longer affected by this state, me and my allies gain 5 extra damage for every hit against the target. Wow. Okay. And Weakened is he delivers half damage on hits, right? Yes. Okay. Weakened and grants combat advantage and he takes an extra 5 damage from every hit until he saves against that effect.

Nobody on the team is Bloodied? Nope. You're the closest. I will hold my ground then. That's my turn. Draconis! Alright. I want Draconis to... He's laying face down in the grass and he looks up and sees what's going on and he has the most confused, like, "What the fuck is going on?" look on his face as he begins to stand up. And that is gonna be my actions to stand up. Okay. Okay. And that's the end of my turn. You still have a standard and a minor. You do. Up to you. That will be the end of Draconis's turn. Oh my god. Oh my god. And confused. Very confused look on his face.

Oh, I can't wait until this battle is over. As a person, I respect your roleplay decision. As Stanya, I'm sorry for what's gonna happen to you. Direborn 2! Oh man, this is amazing. So Direborn 2 is gonna try and gore Cassie again. Uh... 24. And... gonna do damage but weaken, so half damage, so 9. Minus 5. Minus 5. So, wow. So that did almost nothing to Cassie. Uh... boop boop. Return those hit points, you're good. And... Stanya, your turn. Okay. First she's gonna yell to Cassie, "You idiot! Get out of its face!" and then she's going to throw a potion at you that explodes near your feet and you feel better.

Um... You take your healing surge value plus 2. And when you heal her, she shouts back to you, "If it's gonna get to you, it's gotta go through me!" Oh my god. [Laughter] Very confused look on my face. Very. [Laughter] This is how Cassie dies. Oh my god. So that Draconis may live. Oh my god. Wouldn't that be the worst if Cassie dies and Draconis lives? Oh my god! This is why Theria's in the damn state it takes. Oh my god. No justice. Well now I'm gonna try and attack, we'll see how this goes. Okay. Well that'll hit! Yeah! 10 damage to boar number 2! And Cassie will get something, because she's next to...

No! Doran will get +1 power bonus to attack rolls and +2 to damage rolls. Mmm. Because he's next to me. Let's see if I can do this right. Okay. Sweet. Uh, did Cassie get that healing surge? Oh, do I have to apply it? Or... Uh, I can do it. Uh, hold on one second. I don't have a zombie for it, I'm sorry. Okay, cool. Uh, so healing surge plus...? Something? +2. Alright, so... Nice. Alright. Nice. Okay. Cava! Okay, so Cava is going to stand up, but it's obviously a little hard for her to get up off the ground. She's kinda doing that thing where you have to rock yourself forward a few times before you can actually get up.

Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, I know, right? Back to the side. But she's gonna stand. And let's see... That was her move, so it's not like she can... She's gonna have to do Dragon Breath. Yeah. She can't get any closer. You feel my pain. Right? Oh man, she can catch 1 and 2 in that, I think. Yep. Mm-hmm. So let's see if I can do this correctly. I... You don't have to draw anything, just target them. Okay, I was gonna say, I have yet to use Dragon Breath. So 20 and 12. 20 versus... This is AC? It is Reflex. Reflex. I don't know, I just read that. Reflex. That will hit number 1.

Wait, you mean number 2? Wait, 2... Oh, 2! Oh, okay, I'm sorry. Okay. So that will hit number 2. Okay. So let me just go back to my powers. Yeah! So this is obviously fire damage and... Yeah. I'm gonna go over that just to make sure you get the max out of that. But... Yeah, you are gonna burn these 2 boars. Or the 1 boar too. Yeah. You missed one. Is there anything else? Um... I have a... Yeah, Direborn 1 will get real close to Cava and take another swing at Cava. Just try and gore. That'll miss. Doran, your turn! I'm going to walk backwards a few steps, get up right next to Draconis, grab him by the scruff of his neck, and if he's wearing pants, the belt of his pants, and I would like to throw him.

Alright. As I say, fix it. Okay, this is actually fun because, okay, obviously... Into the little gnome? Here's what we'll do. This has never been done before! So this is going to be an athletics check. And what we're going to do is, for every 5 you get, that's a space you're going to throw him. So this might not be incredibly far, unless you roll a crit, and that'll be hilarious, but here's what we're going to do. This will be your turn, basically, so do me a favor, roll an athletics check. That's 3 spaces right there, so Draconis is going to go 1, 2, 3, right behind Sonja.

Threw him 15 feet. That is nothing to scoff at. Is that... is there a miner you want to do? What, action point? Does that count as an attack? No, I don't... that wasn't him attacking you, that's more... Can I pop an action point to do it again? I... okay. Well that's a problem, you'd have to move to get there, and then... Yeah. Um... man, I don't know if I'm close enough to at least try another ranged attack. Am I prone again? Yes. I would say yes. I'd say you'd probably land on your chest or something. Um, let's see what your ranged attack says... it's probably 10 to 20, so yeah, you'd probably... you'd probably do it.

Let's say ranged... I don't see anything specific is what I'm noticing. I would say yeah. I could probably go after Dire Boar 2. Yeah. Alright. I will do just that then. Uh, then ranged basic. Holy shit! Nice! So, hold the shift button, and hit that blood drop. You get +2 damage. Yep. Wow! It is dying, everyone. This is a brand new day for me and ranged basic attack. So you are going to... you're gonna fire a bolt clean at this thing's head and just thunk and it's gonna keel over. Nice! [laughs] Um... Boar number 3 is going to decide that the tiny gnome by itself is a way better target than the one with the battle axe.

I'm not by myself. I'm next to a big dragonborn laying on the ground. You're in front of the big dragonborn laying on the ground. So it's going to... 1, 2, 3... Let me see, what's its speed? Does it get an opportunity attack from Cava? Yes. So it is going to get to here. Cava, do me a favor, roll a melee basic attack against the... against the... Okay. Bam! That definitely hits. You might drop it before it gets there. That would be hilarious. Oh my gosh, that would be so funny. Yeah, do me a favor and roll damage. Jesus! 21 damage! It doesn't go down. Okay. He is going to target Sonya.

Okay. Try to gore it. Oh yeah, that'll hit. Do you have anything to stop that? Not until I take damage. 17 damage! And then I turn invisible. Okay. It's also going to knock you back two spaces and do an extra 5 damage. So I just roll over your... Yeah, I just kind of... And then I disappear as I'm rolling away. Cassie, your turn. Okay, I have a cava next to me now. That's when I'm at my best. So I'm going to pull up Hammer and Anvil here. Okay, let's do that one. So I'm going to shift this away one square. And I'm going to use Hammer and Anvil. Strength versus Reflex.

Boom! That is a crit, sir. Yes! Crit! That'll kill the boar. Sweet. Cassie swings at its face and hits it real good. And she's like, "Cava, its flank is open! Get it!" But then it collapses and she's like, "Oh, never mind!" So it is a shame you would have gotten to hit it for free with a bonus to damage, but that doesn't happen. She already moved, so she can't do Shenanigans. But these boars are going pretty well, and Cava, how many hit points down are you? 17. Sonya is 23. I will use my minor action to use Inspiring Word on you, because you're going to end up in the business very quickly because you're melee.

I'm all about the business, man. Yes. And you probably wouldn't see me, so... Oh, right. Invisibility. Yeah, invisibility. So my Inspiring Word heals a healing surge plus a d6. Should I just throw that d6 on my own, Jason? Sure. Okay. Recover a healing surge plus one. Plus one. Eh, it happens. And Cassie's Inspiring Words are... The last one's all yours, Cava. Gimme a K! Oh my god, Cassie sounds like D.Va. A little bit. Tiny bit. Cheeky face! Gee-gee. Oh god. Okay. Guys, this could not be more perfect. That'll bring up Draconis, who is sitting in front of boar number three.

A slavering monster of a creature. Yes. And then the boar. Um... [laughter] I see how that works. Dump, dump, shh. Draconis! Alright, I want Draconis to pull out his Rod of Wonder. Oh god. And... Why? Get out of my way! And I want him to place it into the ground to use it to try to stand up, but fall back down and pass my turn. A fucking... Oh, gee-gee. So I am still prone... Draconis is still prone, laying in front of dire boar number three. I love how he uses the Rod of Wonder as a crutch. It's not at all how it's supposed to be used. That was a close one. I wanna know, Jake.

Yeah? Can you feel thousands of listeners screaming at you right now? I wanna know, 'cause they are. They're cheering for me. I feel them cheering for me, not yelling at me. Cheering. [laughter] You can feel the love coming through. Listeners, this is a little thing that we call "breaking the social contract" in Dungeons & Dragons, where you don't give it the best for your party. He's doing... No. You know what it is, though? He's really... He's really playing his character. Like, too much. Like, really, really much. Like, everyone. Like, way too much. Like, way too much.

Like, far in excess of standards. This is that getting to know a character again, and then you go, "Oh, wow, you've really fallen on the hard times," and really showing us. Well, yeah. He's... You know what? This is the hero's journey, and he is starting from rock bottom. Hey, I'm a knight. I'm a knight. [laughter] Is that what you say when you buy the bloodroot? Is that what you tell the shopkeepers? That's exactly what I... That's what you just... Gotta get a deal. I'm a knight. I used to be somebody. [laughter] Sure you are, Rummy. Everyone's angry. Jake's just at his desk with jazz hands going, "Roll play!" [laughter] Sonya!

Back around to you! I do not believe in the person in front of me. [laughter] So what's... What? ...Bagging it up. [laughter] And then I guess I'll attack. I don't know. I'll do something. No, it won't. No! [laughter] And then I become visible because I attacked. Okay. Cava! [mimics Cava] Okay. Alright, let's do this. Cava is going to lock on up. Lock on up. And she is going to do Crushing Blow. Uh, that will hit. Sweet. Holy shit! 25 damage. That would be the bore. Yay! It also takes three extra because of my Constitution modifier. Because I'm using an axe. Okay, this bore is going to look really, really bad.

Like, on its last legs bad. Like, rocking back and forth bad. And I also have a... I don't... It says enemies that can see you. Well, the bore can definitely see you. Alright, I wasn't sure if maybe he was in so much pain that he didn't win. Anyway, I bloody an enemy adjacent to me. Enemies that can see you take a -2 penalty to attack rolls against you. Does Draconis count as your enemy right now? Be honest. Does Draconis count as your enemy right now? Of course not. Draconis is always Cava's enemy a little bit. So that's just kind of a, like, "You want to fuck with me everyone?" And they kind of, like, yeah.

Okay. Doren! Alright, if we could figure this out, this would be amazing. So, I'm going to go right up to Draconis again. I'm just going to look at him and say, "Be useful!" Grab him again and throw him at the bore. Here's what I'm going to ask you to do. I want you to roll an athletics check. And, okay, as long as you get... As long as you get a 10 or higher, he's going airborne towards that bore. Anything beyond that, we're doing... If it's a 15 or higher, we're doing a d6 damage. And then if it's higher than that, we'll just... You are throwing him as a projectile.

Like, as a big... And Draconis is... I mean, for Dragonborn, he's kind of spindly. But for anybody else on the planet, he's a big hulking monster. So, he will do some damage. He has weight behind him. Do me a favor, roll an athletics check. He also gets +1 from my thing and +2 to damage. Alright, so that isn't going to do... So what it's going to do is... Oh, Jesus Christ, you are throwing him as a blunt. It's like trying to hit someone by throwing a bag of potatoes at them. Right. So that is enough to get Draconis airborne. And he is going to... So, I would imagine the bore is going to whip around sort of at Kavaz that's being attacked.

And Draconis is going to hit the broad side of this bore. And just sort of cave in the side of it as it rolls in, doing 3 total damage and killing the bore. Yes! Yes! Yes, that's an achievement right there. Got him. Boom, got him. Draconis is totally going to take credit for that kill. That bore is... So Draconis would... Next thing Draconis knows, he's going to be lying on top of the bore next to Kava. The bore dead. That is the last... That will take you out of combat. Can Kava just punch him out? She wants to make him unconscious again and then just throw him in the wagon and keep going.

The problem... Okay, here's the thing. I don't know how unstable Draconis's consciousness is, but he took no damage during that fight. So you would have to lay into him a bit. Adult 3 damage. Adult 3 damage! He's also pretty high though. His! That's true. Punch him in the head. And as long as Draconis wouldn't fight back, we'll kind of have him do an endurance check or something. To see if he remains conscious. Does she have to roll something? Yes. Well, okay. Would this be a thing where Draconis would defend himself? It counts as an attack, right? I mean, it depends what her roll is to see if I do anything.

This would be like a basic melee versus Draconis's AC. I mean, sure. Okay. Kava, do me a favor. Melee basic? Melee basic. Here we go. Aww. That'll hit! Alright, what is, hold on, where's my AC at? AC is 17. Yes. Oh, so that like just hits, right? It just hits. Alright, I am going to pop Shield, which is immediate interrupt. You're hit by an attack. You gain +4 bonus to AC and reflex until the end of your next turn. This is when Draconis starts fighting back. Does this count as a turn? I don't know. Yes, I guess. Alright, well I am going to pop my Shield to block the punch to the head.

Okay, before we take this any further, what would the rest of the party's reaction be? They would be saying punch him in the face. Obviously. It's Cassie's turn to face Palm. She's just like, she's deeply ashamed of the company she keeps now. Already? It's been several days. Yeah, it's been... That's true, that's true. What would Doran's thoughts be here? I think Doran would be staring daggers into Draconis and I'm partly thinking about going over there and punching him myself. Now, I didn't attack, I just popped the Shield up to block the attack. You did, yes.

I did not attack back. I guess it's more out of frustration with the party. In a situation like that, specifically in Theria, in a situation like that, if you don't work together you could die. And while you weren't working against the party... I was not. You weren't... Not once. You weren't helping either. Until the very end, when your body was literally used as a dart. I landed the final blow, that's all I'm saying. (Laughter) Alright. Has that happened in Theria? I can't recall a time. Someone has beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. I cannot recall a time.

I know people have been thrown, not as a weapon, and definitely not to kill them. I think there might have been that one time that Ironhide threw Malkus into the crowd. Yes, that was the time. But not to hit anybody, I don't think. No, it was a good moment. Just to be an ass. (Laughter) As I pop my shield, I want to yell again. This is another yell. Good. I want to yell, "Whoa, what the fuck's your problem?" Torrin's just gonna stare at Draconis in disgust. I kind of want Sonya, because last time he yelled, "Creatures appeared." She's gonna do a ghost sound, like the exact same thing he said, but ten yards north of us.

So if anything comes running... Right. That would be cool if I started another fight. (Laughter) So he yells, and you basically echo the yell away from... It's like, just fucking... over there. Not over here, not over there. The first time she wasn't expecting him to yell, but now she's like, "Okay, I'm used to this." Clearly you have no self-preservation skills. Yeah, so like 50 yards north of us, it's the exact same yell. Got it. Okay. As soon as Kava's axe hits this shield, she is just going to burst out, "Fucking useless piece of shit!" And walk away back to the wagon, muttering to herself.

Can I stand up at this point? I'm allowed to stand up. Yes, yes, you absolutely can. I want to slowly stand... again, pulling out the Rod of Wonder, and help myself stand back up to my feet. Slowly, and look over to... just kind of glance over the door and kind of like eye over to her like, "She's talking to you, buddy, not me." (Laughter) Can we roll something to see if we know it's the Rod of Wonder that he's using as a walking stick? I wouldn't... okay, do me a favor, rolling our gun or history, I would imagine this has come up. What's the roll to shove the Rod of Wonder up Draconis' ass?

(Laughter) I just want to see if I'm like... he's... like... ugh. That's funny. Anybody else? Was it Arcana? Arcana or history? Yeah, tell me all about it, Jason. Am I the only one that knows anything, like, ever? I literally have plus twos for every... almost every skill. Okay, I would say this... You're old, that's okay. Yeah, exactly, my eyesight's going. I would say this. I don't think... I don't think Sonya would know what it was because I don't believe that... Would Draconis have used the Rod of Wonder in the presence of the party yet? No, I have not, no.

Wait, so you're telling me nobody knows I have it? No, they know you have a Rod as your implement, but that's not... But they don't know what it is. Yeah, that's completely common in the world of Theria. It just is. So, until you guys get into combat and see what this is to do, I don't think that it would stand out necessarily. Because while it's decorative, it's not like, "Oh wow, that's the thing." It's more of a bullshit trickster's weapon. It's not... I like this. I can only imagine the emails as people were like, "He's using the fucking Rod of Wonder as a walking stick!" Dude, people want to hear a roll and they're not getting it.

And it's just... Oh god, okay. Cassie walks up to Doran and just stares at Draconis off to the side and is like, "He's way further gone than we thought." Like, liability further gone. Right? Do I hear this? Would this be something Cassie is just trying to make this kind of quiet? Like, we need to be concerned? Or is it, "No, we should talk about this!" It is a quiet aside to Doran. Okay. Draconis just yells, "Don't tell me how to live my life!" Doran just kind of looks at him and goes, also kind of quietly to her, and just kind of goes, "You know, I know he has something remarkable in him.

I don't know what he's doing right now. But I don't think he's too far gone yet." She kind of brightens up at that. She says, "You really think we can turn him around?" I used to know how Draconis used to be. This isn't who he is. He's capable of so much more. Whether or not we can turn him around remains to be seen, but only time can tell. Well, let's hope for the best. Oh, and good throw, but maybe we need to help him earn some trust again and not use him to beat a wild animal. Duly noted. But good throw. Real good throw. Alright, at this point, I want to grab the tusk of the dire boar, and I want to say, not really shouting, but just loud enough so everybody can hear me say, "I don't know about you guys, but this one's mine.

You can have the other two." And start to try to drag it away. Oh my god! Oh my gosh. Do me a favor. Give me a raw Strength check. Strength check. Oh, this is gonna be good. Let's see how far you'd get. Let's see if it just... Strength. Oh, this is gonna be a good one. This is a good one. Thirteen. Wait, that's a stealth. Sorry, one more down. You're gonna sneak the boar away. Okay, on your main thing, like you have a +2, on your main Strength test, I just want a raw Strength check, so just hit that Strength button, the +2. There it is. Okay, there it is. Here we go.

Five. That's a five. Working as intended. Yep. Can I do the stealth one? Use the stealth. "Shh boar, we're gonna go this way." I already announced it, so... Draconis announces to the party, I don't know about you guys, but I got this one. And just...nothing happens. This boar is just kind of like pulling at...I'm guessing you're pulling it by the tusks? Yes. So just like you're moving the head around like you're hearing the gums flap? Nothing's happening with the rest of the body. Just pulling. Draconis? Draconis, I mean we only have a wagon, a carriage, it might be a little impractical to bring that with us.

Can I just say, we gotta eat. We gotta eat. Kava, do we...help? Is the map here canon? Like there are trees and everything here? Yes. Okay. Doren would like to walk up to Draconis right next to him and say, "Cassie, I'm sorry." And I would like to roll to throw Draconis into the tree. What?! Oh dear. What?! And Cassie's gone. Cassie's moved over with the rest of the party. Oh god. I'm in the cabinet. Did you say I'm in the cabinet? Yep. Okay, let's...okay, so... What just happened? Doren is gonna pick up Draconis again and whip him into the nearest tree. Which is going to make a terrible thumping noise where...

Am I still holding on to the boar tusk? I...I would say no. I would say you'd lose your grip based on that strength check. Okay. Draconis isn't mighty. That's true. That is true statement. I agree with that. I wanna do something with this too. Okay, he threw him like two away, right? Yeah. And that water's canon too? Oh my god, what is happening? Yes! He just bounces off the tree and into the...into the pond. Well, I have something. Sonya sees this happening. She sees him go to pick him up and then she prepares like this little piece of cloth that has a rock in it.

And then she throws it where Draconis lands and it turns into a springboard which then launches him into the water. Two squares away. What?! Artificers! Yeah, arcane springboard. It...you're an ally who enters this square. It becomes a springboard and it pushes them two squares away. And I'm facing it towards the water. Wow. So he splashes into the water. Draconis is going to take five damage as a result of being tossed and then hit...hit this thing and then just sort of ragdoll in the air for a moment and fall into the water. Can I try to stealthfully throw the arcane springboard?

Um... Roll...roll a stealth check. I don't know how much Draconis would be picking up of anything, honestly. He could be watching you do it and I don't know if he'd realize. But let's just have you roll a stealth check just...just for giggles. Okay, yeah. Very obvious. Very obvious. I'm doing the thing! So he shouts, "Arcane springboard!" It looks like you can lose...use a little water! And then I throw it. Need a lift? Can I ask a subtlety of a Kamehameha wave? Can I ask a very important question of you, Draconis? Uh...yes, you can. Can...can Draconis swim? Uh...normally, yes.

Yes, he can. Okay. At this point... He said normally. At this point in time, uh, he's still kinda out of it. Uh, he would have a hard time if it's deep. If it's shallow, obviously, he should be okay, but... He would have a hard time if it's deep. I would say it's...it's...it's not crazy deep. Like, not super deep. It's probably, like, at its deepest, like 10 feet, something like that. But that is enough for you to go under if... Well, I don't wanna kill him. You just killed me with your springboard. This is...this is... He starts using the...he starts using the Rod of Wonder to paddle his way back and forth.

Do me a favor... I finished off the Direbores and this is what I get. Jesus. Do me a favor, roll an athletics check, Jake. Oh, okay. Make sure I hit the right one this time. Abilities...nope, skills...yep, there it is. Ecrobatics, you said, right? No. Athletics. Athletics, that's what you said. Here it comes. Bah! Oh, you're fine. 21. Oh, yeah. I'm good. You're fine. So, Draconis would be able to paddle back to shore. You're fine. Maybe that sobered him up a little. I don't know. Not counting on it. I want to, like, uh, I don't wanna be standing. I want to, like, swim and never, like, not be standing, but still, like, prone, crawling, and, like, out of the water.

Okay, like...okay, like...okay. He's just lying on the shore. Yep. At this point. Oh, go ahead. No, I'm just, I'm curious. The last few, few minutes have went thusly. Yep. Stop, stop to stretch, get a bite to eat, a drink. Draconis wakes up, shouts at the rest of the party, boars attack. Boars are, boars are killed systematically, slowly, with almost no assistance from Draconis except for his body being used as a blunt instrument to murder the final boar, which was already on its last legs. Kava tries to injure Draconis and knock him out. Draconis then pops a shield.

Draconis is then thrown into a tree and then into a, a pond. What would the party like to do? Kava is literally suckling at her flask right now. If anybody wants to come give me a hand, I mean, that's cool. Cassie will, uh, walk over and, um, have a seat next to Draconis and say, "You know, you made a lot of people frustrated today." I want to look right at, look right into her eyes, as serious as possible. You have any fucking grapes? (Laughing) Just, do you need a hand? Do you need to get up? I mean, yeah. And she'll, she'll stand and offer him a hand.

Oh, okay. And I, I'll, I'll, I'll reach for it. Okay. And I want to ask her, uh, did we get the bell? No, Draconis, we're still working on it. Does, okay, grapes seem to be a thing that he craves all the time. Does he have any in the carriage? Uh, not that you know about. Okay. Secret grapes! I would have grabbed them and given them to you. That's how it's gonna do. I was gonna like throw them at your face and be like, "Here you go." Throw them in the pond. Throw them in the pond. No! Uh, Cassie kind of throws Draconis' arm over her shoulder and kind of like hefts, sort of hefts him back toward the carriage if he, uh, if he lets her.

Yeah, sure. Okay. So she helps him over, she's like, "Come on, guys. I know it's cathartic to push him around, but this really isn't helping us." And as we're like getting closer, I just wanted, uh, another thing of blood just begins to, uh, drip down the, uh, the right nostril of Draconis. Oh, super gross! Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for, for today. We've only just begun! I know, I know, like, I'm, can I say this went better, this far exceeded any expectations I had. Instantly this does feel like a group. It's not a good group. But it does feel like a group.

When is the next milestone? Um, I, I have to look it up. We kind of fell back below, but like, I think when people hear this, and we kind of play it up, it's like, "No, no, this is what we're doing." I honestly think this is better than us doing the OG group one. I think this worked better. It's good. It's a fun group. It really is. There, there are, if, if it wasn't clear before this, there are literally no expectations. I like being the sole nurturer. Oh my god, I can't wait for people to hear this. This will be really fun. This will hopefully get out there before Dragon Con.

I'm not sure. It might be as we're at Dragon Con. I don't know. Oh, the Dragon Con special. Maybe. Uh, I, I don't know. We're going to ask people tomorrow, basically, it's like, "Hey, do you want to record something while we're there?" Because, like, we'll be there, but there will be other people in the house too, so like, I don't know if that would be intrusive or rude. I don't know. No, do it. My boyfriend lives with me and he's used to it. Okay. They need to have like a mailbag, like, because we don't usually get to get the cast together like that and stuff, and we're recording panels and stuff, but not exactly sure how the sound quality will be.

Because there will be a lot of people and stuff there. So, um, guys, this was fucking awesome. Like, seriously, I am, I am super- Yeah, a lot of fun. Yeah, did you guys have fun? Okay. Question. Um, is this Patreon listeners only? No. Oh, okay. It's, it's everyone. I was going to say, yeah, okay. Stuff that's unlocked for Patreon usually just goes up in the main feed. This is, uh, this is something special and we were, like, it's kind of tough for us to start a new group and all that, but like, this isn't something we're going to be doing every week. There's no pressure to schedule this.

This will be like, whenever we hit a milestone, uh, whenever we hit the milestones for this on Patreon, we'll try and sit down and do one and we'll continue the story each time we do it. Okay. Cool. Or, or if something special happens or something like that, we'll try and, we'll try and do it when people have time. So, yeah. God, so I'm going to, I'm going to pause this. I'm going to have it, I'm going to have it set aside and yeah, whenever we, whenever we get to the next one, yeah, as long as you guys had fun. Awesome. Yeah. A lot of fun, yeah. Alright, guys, thank you so much.

I really appreciate this. Yeah, guys. This was awesome. Jake, can I say you're a tremendous sport? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I've been, I've been, I've been waiting to do this for a while. I had fun, a lot of fun. Good stuff, guys. Yeah, it was really good. On the 15th of Thorim, in the office of Mayor Jadzia Grace in the city of Esterhold, Jadzia has a guest in Serif who was sent for days and days and days ago to sort of hopefully barter some sort of truce or an agreement. I would imagine after he sets foot in the office, Valus would close the door and then very quickly, not run, but kind of like take a couple of large steps and stand next to Jadzia.

Just in case, what would Jadzia's first action be? Jadzia is standing next to the table, one hand kind of propped on it, and bow her head to Serif, respectfully, not a full bow, but like just a nod. So not to take your eyes off of him. Yeah, pretty much. But hopefully not in a very obvious way. But I mean, question. Mm-hmm. Is the stain still there? From the last time Serif may or may not have been around a mayor. See, here's the thing. I picture hardwood floors. I picture that's a tough stain to get out. I imagine they were scrubbed. Right. But... Do you know how many stains we are going to have to apply?

Right. Serif. Like that's what she's upset about now. First it was all of my doors because of your fucking daughter, and now this shit. Can I have one nice place, please? But no, she's just going to nod to him respectfully and say, "Serif, thank you for coming." And he would give this very exaggerated, like putting on a show kind of bow. "Mayor Grace, thank you so much for seeing me." She'll gesture to the chair on the other side of the table, which I imagine is just kind of a decent sized table. With like two heads, and I don't even think Valus is planning on sitting down.

Oh god no. I'd bother, yeah. So they'll both sit at each head of the table and I imagine like four to five feet long. Like... Somewhere in there, yeah. All very carefully chosen for "You can't reach me without taking a few steps." Right. And she'll gesture to the chair on the other side. "Please take a seat." "Of course." "You know, and he's going to look over at Valus, I don't think we need a chaperone for this, do we?" I assumed you were going to make Valus growl, to be honest. Well, oh no, he'll just stiffen up, like right away. Like, fuck you. Like, that's not a thing in his head.

Without missing a beat, and as she's sitting down, Jadzi will say, "Valus is not a chaperone, he's my husband and captain, and also a trusted advisor." And then she'll just cross her hands on the table like, "No." "No." "No, just light, just fuck you." "Ah, Zareph's going to smile." "Of course." "So, you wanted to speak with me face to face." "Would you like to begin, or me?" "Why don't you go first?" "Very well." "As I'm sure you're aware, there's a fairly large group of drow currently staying in Fair Bay." "I have heard." "Do you know what they want?" "I have suspicions." "There are certain individuals in drow culture who would call it justice." "An eye for an eye." "Specifically, Miss Clad." "They're actually quite curious to see how this little meeting goes." "They weren't really expecting it." And as he's sitting there, it's very, uh, like, it's almost like he's putting on a show of being overly relaxed. Like, he's got his, he's kind of got his leg up. He's not on the table, but like on his other leg, just kind of like crossed.

And he is almost unblinkingly staring at Jadzia. Jadzia's going to, like, the way she's saying it's very proper, like, her hands are kind of on the table, linked together, very straight backed, but trying not to let anything show. Like, just trying to remain very proper in her position so that he can't see if he, you know, frightens her. I understand that the drow have been wronged. I understand that very much. And I would like to finally tell the whole story. He's going to arch a little bit of an eyebrow at that. "Oh, do go on." As you know, I was a member of the Overwatch.

And along with your daughter and three others, we were commanded by Sergeant Fletcher to go into the caves and cause a collapse. That collapse was meant to keep the drow from being able to enter Overwatch. We brought the bomb down. There was a group of drow positioned ahead of where we were told to lay the bomb. We killed them, as soldiers kill soldiers, and reached the area where we meant to go. None of us knew. I want to make that very clear. Except for one. Our rogue, named Fi, was able to see the children in time to stop what happened, but he did not.

I was the one who lit the bomb. We did not know until we heard the screaming. That's the full story. He's going to reach for the dagger on his belt, and then draw it out slowly. And start to pick at the nails, like just underneath of his nails. Again, this is all a show. I'm going to eat an apple to look more like an asshole. Yes, that's exactly what he's doing. Like, just- Fuck, I forgot my apple. Let me take out this dagger and pick the nail. Well, Ms. Grace, that is a very interesting story. I don't suppose that this responsible teammate would be in the city now, would they?

As far as I'm led to believe, he's actually in yours. Brightport. The last time I saw Fi, he left us to go join House Silverclaw. He's a changeling. He thought that his powers could be utilized there. Oh, I'm sure they could. I would like to say, though he knew that the children were there, I think Sergeant Fletcher is really the one to blame if he wanted to place it. Though, war isn't that simple. Those who are in a position of power are the ones who are causing the bloodshed. You do understand that, in my experience, the drow are prideful creatures. The ones that live underground.

Or are being perhaps the most prideful one I've ever met. Once she sets her mind to something, usually there is nothing that could sway her. So, her people are looking to her to make this right. Her original plan was to find your group and murder the lot of you. As far as I know, that actually still could be the plan. The entire time he's just sort of cleaning his nails, or making a show of trying to clean his nails. I must say your group has been increasingly difficult to find. I would have thought you'd all stay in the city after... Well, after what happened a couple of weeks ago.

I ask where the rest of your friends are. Judsy is going to look thoughtful for like half a second. And then kind of half shake her head. Like, you know, if you thought your daughter was going to stay in one place for very long, you don't know her that well. I suppose I don't. I must say though, it is a bit surprising that, knowing what kind of trouble I could bring them, that they left poor you holding the bag all alone. After he started playing with the dagger, Valus is going to tighten up even more and kind of have his hand near the hilt of his blade the entire time.

Because again, there's a decent amount of distance separating you two. But it's more of a just in case, like what if he tries to throw that? Right. Judsy will just kind of not react to that at all. And it's almost a thing where she's like, I bet it'll bug you that I'm not reacting to how scary you're being right now. Like that's almost her mentality with it. Okay. Would you do me a favor and roll a bluff check for me just to see like... Shouldn't he have to roll a check to not cut himself? It doesn't have to be very high. It's more just like... Well my bluff is plus 13.

Let's try this. It's the one thing I'm good at for no reason. All right. Oh God, yeah. 30? Yeah, you're totally fine. You're very composed. My balls are gigantic. Let me just put these on the table. Okay. Well, and she's almost gonna like sweep that under the rug. As I understand it, Aura is the leader of the drow, so I assume that it would be best if you took the information I gave you to her and we can see where things go from there. Am I correct? Well, that's where things get a little tricky. We're working together, yes, but it's for a more common goal. Her people look to her.

I don't. You know what I want in this city. And you know I have the power to help you. What is it exactly that you want? Well, I did think things would shake out a little differently when I approached Oona. Unfortunately, things went a little sideways. What I want is for people like me to have a fair shake, to have an equal stake in the claim of currency and power that flow through this city. Jadzia will kind of like smile just a little bit and nod her head. What's strange about that is that you and I see eye to eye, which I never thought would happen. But I do look to a future for Esterholt where all races can be as equal.

To do that, I'm going to need fine, upstanding citizens like yourself. That's gonna get a big smile, I would say. Really? And what exactly did you have in mind, Mayor Grace? I am trying to make Esterholt a better place. More education, taking care of children, making sure that all races are equal. Now I can do that. I cannot let criminal acts go unchecked. That said, if you're willing to behave yourself, I think that we could have a partnership of some sort. I must say that is intriguing. I have seen an awful lot of people in power say the same thing. And perhaps they even started out their run in cities with good intentions.

I trust you over any one of them. Because I'm not just saying I want to help while keeping all the power to myself. Serif, she's going to kind of lean forward a little bit. If you'd like, I do need more advisors. Political advisors. You have a mind that does not work the same as mine. You could help me make this town a better place. That said, it would come from a place of equal trust and respect. Could you... No! Do me a favor. Roll a diplomacy check. Fucking plus seven. Can I just say, so far today you are on fire. Twenty? Fuck you! That noise is not okay! Okay?

Okay! Sorry. Same amount of infuriating. I'm sorry. I'm being withholding on purpose now. I know. We're friends. Ahem. Hmmm. As you're saying this, Valus, there will be a very low grumble. Like a very... like... I don't like that. Like that's... that's... that... very low grumble, but again, he's keeping his composure. Well now... I must say that I did not expect this from you. And here I was a little insulted that you didn't thank me. You know. For your current position. Just gonna bristle a little bit at that and her eyes will kind of move over to the stain real quick.

Yeah. Yep. But not even like try and hide it. Just like... Yeah. Not really forgetting. Yeah. So you're saying... That I would help you run the city. At least... In terms of policy. Exactly. The issue Mayor Keller had at the end of the day... Is that she wasn't listening. She was trying so hard to maintain the status quo that she didn't see that the world was changing. And she wasn't willing to... Accept advice from others when she needed it. I don't want to make those mistakes. That is very wise of you... Miss Mayor. If I were to take this deal... I would be living in the city.

Obviously. But that does not solve the problem of our... Drow friends in Fair Bay. You would have me tell them about the... Actually guilty party. This... Fee. I do still know a few people in Brightport that would... That would assist... In locating him. Changeling or not. He won't be able to hide forever. You simply say the word... And I'll go back to Aura. And tell her all about him. The deal will kind of freeze for a second and... Then lower her eyes. If you tell Aura Cladd the whole story... And she believes that Fee is the guilty party... I'd like to hope he'd at least get a trial of some sort.

As I said... I do believe Fletcher is the real villain in this story. If not King Carter himself. Though that's already dealt with. Well... I guess that would be up to her to decide. I can be very persuasive though. What if I tell her about this... And she still decides that... You being the one who lit the fuse... Are the true guilty party. Judsy will kind of look up to Valus for like... Just a moment. And then look back to Seraph. We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Seraph would stand up. And he would start to walk step by step toward Jadzia. And the entire time he is going to take that knife and very lightly drag it...

The length of the table. Just... It's... The blade is... No one in your fucking family respects personal property. It's not leaving a mark. It's more just tracing the edge of the table. It's very much... Again, it's all for show. And Valus is going to reach for the hilt of his blade. But not quite draw it. Seraph is going to get to the end of the table. And he is going to reach out his hand to Jadzia. The entire time Jadzia does not even move. And she kind of holds this air of confidence like... Yeah, come on. And then once he's there she'll offer her hand as well.

I think we can work together, Miss Grace. I'm glad you believe so. I mean what I say, you know. About this city. I now consider it a bit of... Personal pride. That it gets shaped into something... Equal. I actually believe that you could do something about that. I believe our goals are the same. Even if our means may be slightly different. Which is why working together and with Valus... And she'll kind of like motion to him like... Yeah, you're going to have to treat him with respect too. We can make our dreams a reality. Of course. I'll return to Fair Bay and speak with Aura.

I'm sure you'll receive some sort of word shortly. You have a good day. Thank you, Seraph. You as well. And he would sort of disengage and leave the room. See, that wasn't so bad. Jadzia will stand up and rip off all of Valus's clothes. And just get right there on that desk. [Laughter] We really hope that you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, maybe swing by patreon.com/dandr and think about tossing a couple of shekels in. Hopefully we'll get to another milestone soon. And we can do another one of these. Again, we're going to be taking a look at that. And making sure that milestone is in there a bit more.

You can also swing by D-A-N-D-R podcast. And that's a good way to follow us everywhere. We're all on Twitter. You can find us on Facebook. You can find us on iTunes. And maybe give us a review. That really would help us out. So thank you so much. And we will see you next week with a brand new episode.