Rock Bottom

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Episode 199 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you today by the One Shot Podcast Network. When you're waiting for DNR to update, you should check out One Shot. One Shot takes a different approach to actual play, touring a variety of games and stories by featuring a new role-playing system with a new cast of players every month.

They have hilarious playthroughs of popular games like D&D and Numenera. And serious showcases of more obscure games like the Mustang and the Dogs of the Vineyard. The One Shot Podcast Network also has ongoing shows like Campaign, their hilarious Star Wars Edge of the Empire game, and several interviews and discussion shows for you to learn more about your favorite gaming personalities. So go check out One Shot today on iTunes. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dutch Master Coder. On the table, start with Susan.

I have never been first before. Hi, I'm Susan, I play Sonya Bine, the Gnome Artificer. And Jake. Hey, I am Jake, I play Draconis, Dragonborn Fire Mage. And Jamie. Hi there, I'm Jamie, I play Kava Truvore, the Dragonborn Fighter. And Tyler. Hi, I'm Tyler, I play Dorn, the Dragonborn Berserker. And Rob. Hey, it's Robert Weezahan, I'm playing Cassie Drake, Human Inspiring Warlord. Guys, I already gave you a little recap before we got started here, but last time on the show you were descending into these sets of caverns near Odysseia, and you were looking for the Bell of Vekta.

You ended up finding this really old crypt, and you ended up finding the object and narrowly escaped the tomb after a little weight placement, Kava tried to put Draconis' bone on the little pedestal. All that didn't go over so well, and you almost got sealed in the place when Draconis went to go back and get the bone. I believe it was Cassie and Doran who held the door. Mostly Cassie. In an act of incredible and sacrificial bravery, I might add. But we left you guys, after the bells were chiming inside the tomb, it appears to have gotten the attention of something.

And you remember there was sort of a large dome-shaped cavern with a lot of holes in the ceiling and walls, kind of like Swiss cheese. And we closed things out with you guys hearing a skittering, kind of a crawling. What I would like to do is have you guys roll a nature check, just to kick things off today. Roll a five, working as intended. That's about how much nature Cassie knows about. I got a six. I got a six. Wow, okay. So this group is divided into two types of people. They're the people who know nature stuff and the people who don't. But it completely comes down to the roll, because I don't think any of you are trained in nature.

Nope. So I'm going to guess at some point someone was flipping through a book and three of you caught wind of something here. Guys, let's talk about goblins. We were warned about them, weren't we? Yeah. Sorry. No, sorry. So goblins are something that's never really appeared on the show. We haven't had a chance to tackle that. And obviously it's a D&D staple. It's no different in theory. They exist. They're a little different. First of all, picture their face as a tangled mash of teeth and just oozing kind of like a pus-filled maw, because their mouths are very infected.

Don't get bitten by these things. They are incredible at sticking to walls, coming from ceilings. They will burrow into walls and ceilings, just kind of like that there's a bunch of little catacombs, ant hills, think of it, within caverns. And they will attack with makeshift weapons. They will swarm, they will drop from ceilings and try to strangle you. And they are nasty little buggers. You know, goblins are so overrated. Well, I don't think we need them here in Theria. I agree with that. I think we could just traverse along our way. Well, okay, there's good news and bad news.

One, you never see one goblin. That's the bad news. If you're here in the skittering and swarming, I think Kava, Sonya, and Doran are going to put two and two together and go, "Ah, shit," and just kind of think about the chamber and the walls and everything. It's like, yep, that adds up. The good news is that they aren't particularly strong creatures. They just try and swarm you and take you down like that. Think carpenter ants, that type of thing. They are just -- they work as a unit. Another bit of good news is that they're not very hardy creatures. They're very spindly and scrawny.

Think an army of golems with more fucked-up faces. That's pretty much what you're dealing with. Also, they do not deal well with sunlight. So if you can get away from this place and get back up to the surface, which, easier said than done. I mean, you guys have been on a journey already, but if you can get back to the light, they're not going to follow you there. They are essentially just ivory-skinned. They do not touch sunlight ever. Now, you're outside the tomb, but you're not to that chamber yet, and there's pretty much a straight shot through it. Is there anything you'd like to do before heading out there?

A friendly reminder to everyone we walked through a roomful of traps to get here? Mm-hmm. So no one's like, "Well, let's sprint." [laughter] I was going to suggest that, actually. The way you said that, it sounded like I would use that against you somehow, Rob. Yeah, well, I mean, I've known you for a while now. [laughter] Being honest. I like how at this point Jason's still doing the, "How dare you expect me to do something to you?" You can't see it, but my hand went to my chest like, "Oh!" Like, I was very--like, I was hurt. Irish, the thought. [laughter] As he's shuffling papers to begin our demise.

So is there anything you'd like to prepare before you go out there? Is there something you'd like to--a quick conversation to maybe clue in the rest of the party members? So did somebody explain to those of us who didn't take Goblins 101 what was happening? Yeah. Draconis, run. I was about to ask--Draconis is going to ask the group. He's going to look around and be like, "Guys, we're going to make a run for it?" Yep, you take the lead. I know. No, no, no, no. That's a terrible idea, okay? But we do need to find a way to get out of this room as soon as possible, because if what you said about them, like, climbing on the walls and stuff is true, that puts them at a big advantage and us at a huge disadvantage.

Now, can we actually see, like, out there and see how many there are at the moment? It was dark before--oh, never mind. I let Jason answer. No, I--well, here's the thing. That depends on if you guys have torches lit and that type of thing. It is pretty damn dark in these caverns. It also depends on whether you'd like to sort of try and peer around the corner and see what you're dealing with. It's up to you, really. Draconis is going to say-- You're going to continue to hear this kind of skittering, though. Draconis is going to say, "Maybe they won't see us." Well, they're used to--sorry, I was speaking as Jamie.

I forget that Cava has a voice since it's been so long. They're used to the dark, dumbass! What kind of role or game mechanic are we looking for to get back through this room without triggering any of the traps? Well, I mean, the hard part's over. You know where they are. Oh, okay. So we can-- Once you know where they are, you know how to avoid them. You got this far. Some of them you defused. Most of them you just sort of like, "Oh, and there's a wire. There's a thing." So as long as you're not sprinting back through in some sort of rush, I wouldn't say that there'd be any roles involved.

Oh, cool. Okay. Okay, my idea is we get back through this room, we set up a choke point because they have numbers on us. So if we make sure they can't get around us, we can fight them like one or two at a time. Eh? Anybody? You also had the idea to fucking go through the water, and that didn't go very well, did it? Come on. No, that was exactly not my idea, and the rest of you did it. You know what, Dorn, make the call. Make the call, Dorn. I'm literally that far gone. Draconis is going to point at Dorn right now. Dorn, make the call. You know what? Sounds like a good idea.

Thank you. Can I ask a quick question, though? Of course. Is there anything flammable down here? I'm just thinking if we burn all of this shit, the goblins will scatter away from the fire, and we can just walk our way out. Burn... wait, what do you mean? Burn what? It all. It all? Well, okay, a lot of stone and rock. The entire cave. We're just going to burn up with it. We've got three Dragonborn with us if we were to just spit fire and walk. You also have a human and a gnome. I'm just going to say there. Well, they're just going to have to adapt, Jathan. They're going to have to learn some evolution.

Look, I can set one of you guys on fire, and we can just follow you through. I vote for you. I say we set the human on fire and just have her run down the hall. Okay. That is an excellent distraction. But before we start setting party members ablaze... Oh, god. Okay. So, again, these things are a little sensitive to light. This is a big chamber, though, so you'd have to set a pretty big fire. Now, that being said, it's a lot of stone and rock, so there's not a lot to set ablaze. But you do have-- and I'm not trying to lead the party here-- but you do have a magic casting Dragonborn who's pretty adept at wielding fire.

So you might-- Are we talking about Dorne right now? Yes. You might be able to sort of-- like, "Get back, get back," that type of thing. Now, it's not foolproof. I'm just saying that is a way to go. Draconis is going to look at the party and say, "Guys, I have no idea what the fuck we're going to do right here. I think we just make a run for it." Do I really have fire-wielding-- No. I don't think I do. That's a Draconis thing. There's a fire mage in our party. I was like, "That's a Draconis thing." Hey, wait a second. Wait a second. I'm not as useful as you claim.

Wait, okay. I have a question too. We just met up with Draconis in Esterholdt, and I have never seen him fight. No. So I don't know. True. You've seen him thrown into things? Yes, and I saw him breathe fire at the ceiling. Mm-hmm. So I was going to be like, "Hey, you make a lot of fire," but I don't know that about him. Well, yeah. I mean, you do-- Okay, not to be racist. You know that they're dragonborn. They're red dragonborn, so that is something. Yeah, in the last episode, I did point at the three dragonborn and said, "Light this torch." That's true. That was a little racist.

Yeah. (laughter) Okay. Okay, who's joining the choke point club? Let's go. (laughter) Let's have the dragonborn on the outside shooting some fire since there's so sense of light, you know? You sons of bitches, are none of you remembering what just happened? Last time, I shot fire up into the cave. We almost fucking died. This motherfucker over here--point at Cassidy, by the way-- hit me right on the back of the head, almost knocked me dead, okay? You guys come up with the worst fucking plans. Let's just run for it. I-- Getting the traps? You know those 20 traps that I had us go around that I didn't disable because we wanted to get through here so quickly?

Well, you go in front. You can spot them out as we run through there. I mean, if we run fast enough, they can't catch us. Okay, let's just go. We got to do something. These things are coming after us. Yeah, Cassidy will walk carefully to the nearest choke point. Okay. So, let's-- Hmm, okay. Let me describe how this is set up. So, there is a long, long hallway in between the front doors of that tomb, which you were standing at, and then traps, traps, traps, traps, traps. Just traps everywhere. Now, obviously, you're going to be avoiding that. Now, the first choke point before entering this huge chamber is going to be sort of a rounded corner, and then it just opens up.

So, are you trying to call them into where you are? Hmm, I mean-- Or is it more just a defensive thing? No, no, no. No, no, no. We don't want to call them in here. My concept is if we're standing in a narrow hallway, we take away their numbers advantage, right? Because they can't fight us all at once, you know? So, I was just going to go to the nearest choke point and basically station there and see what the situation is, and if there's no goblins, then we can press on further, but-- Okay. Yeah, I think it was more just set up just in case they show up, not like aggro them to be there.

Okay, just--that's why we didn't go any further. I just want to make sure. Ooh, ooh, with my nature check, do I know any natural predators to goblins? Well, most things that are bigger than goblins are natural predators. Goblins, they don't worry about insects and stuff like that. They tend to eat and prey on them. Okay, can I cause like a dragon roar with my ghost sound then to scare them away? Huh. It's as quiet as a whisper or as loud as fighting or a fighting creature? That's a really big creature. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know what? I would say you could shoot for it.

Let me see. Ghost sound, boop. Let me see something really quick. Ooh, I got that, yeah. Yeah, and I just want to do it while they're all arguing, like not even discuss it. Part of me kind of hopes this comes out like Simba with the Lion King. Yeah. Ah! I kind of want that too, even though I want this to work. Everyone just turns like, "What the hell are you doing?" I'm going to make it further away. So it's ten spaces away, right? So you'd have to sort of like round the corner and cast it into the room, but you could totally do that. So I'd say if you're checking in the hallway, they would not be in the hallway yet.

You're just hearing the movement, like that wet slapping kind of pitter-patter type of thing, where the wet cavern walls are just like, "ka-ka-ka." It sounds like a thousand babies crawling around on a tile floor. That's what it sounds like. Oh my god. Okay, so Sonya's going to turn to the group, go, "Stay here a second." And then she's actually going to perk herself with a crossbow bolt and do Fade Away, because I can only do that when I take damage, and I turn invisible. Okay. And then I'll walk up there, not super close, just close enough that I could do this into the room.

And then go sound Dragon Roar. Or something big and scary. Can I look to the party real quick before this happens and say something? When I disappear? Yes. Oh no. And when you walked away. I just want to look at the party and go, "We're coming up with plans and this motherfucker can disappear?" Alright, you can carry on. And then you hear a loud, like, something. Do me a favor, Sonya, roll Perception for me. Perception? I think I'm the only one good at that in this group, so... So this roar's going to go off and it's going to just reverberate off the walls.

This is going to be deafening out here. And Sonya is going to watch. There were a few of these goblins circulating. You could just kind of make out shapes and stuff, right? And you're going to see shadows moving. And then what you're going to hear is them moving exponentially faster up the cavern walls. You're going to hear nothing for just a few moments. What would you like to do? Am I in that choke point yet? I would say, yeah, all of the party is definitely in that hallway and in the choke point area. So where I'm standing? Probably right behind, I'd say behind Sonya.

Okay, I'll walk a few steps back, reappear. Okay, so they went back in the holes. Does that mean we should run? That means we shouldn't lure them back out, so... Let's get the fuck out of here. I don't think they're going to stay scared forever. We should probably move. Yes, let's go. Okay. I bought us some time. So I guess we're hustling down the hall? Everyone moving? Sounds like you're moving. Yeah, I am. I'm right behind them. So, let's do this. I don't like that giggle as you said. No, no, no, no, no. I'm waiting. So... No, no, no, no. So I would say that these goblins are pretty damn frightening.

Right, that is a big sound to come from the darkness. Is anyone lighting torches or anything? Are there any torches lit in the party? Asking for a friend. Um... I don't think so, not at the moment. Cassie's going to have to hold someone's arm if we're not lighting any torches, because she has no darkvision. Sonya's the one, right? Yeah, she's the only one with darkvision. Yeah, I'm the only one that can see. It probably wouldn't be the best if we did, would we? Well, who knows, but these things live in the dark. They can probably see in the dark. It's probably no benefit to us to keep it dark.

Right. Except we're right there. Um... I think Cava would definitely want a torch, because if there's going to be a fight, she's going to want to see what's happening. Right. Yeah, same here. So, and it wouldn't make sense to try to escape in the blind. So, I know that I could sneak away from the group if need be. Wow. Wow, what the... Oh, you guys, I'm going home. Yeah, I could go invisible, I could see in the dark. I know where all the traps are. But can you cross the water? We'll find out. Who is in possession of the bell at the moment, by the way? I am. I believe that's Cava.

You just see a bell floating three feet above the ground, just floating away. So, are we running? Is that what I'm getting from this? I'm getting torches lit, running. I agree with that plan as long as the goblins have received the blow. Or at least speed walking. Yeah, just kind of brisk, like trying... I would imagine the group is trying not to make a tremendous amount of noise, but at the same time, just like, "Okay, let's go, let's go. Everyone grab your buddy, let's go." Yep. Okay, so, I would say this Dragon Roar probably bought you a few minutes. Because goblins are not particularly... like I said, they're not hardy creatures, they're not brave.

So if they hear something huge like that, they're gonna go, "Oh shit." Now, the second they figure out, "I don't hear it anymore," they're gonna duck back down. I would say that by the time you cross this great big chamber, they're gonna start to sort of peek their heads out, but you're on the other side of the room. Are you continuing to just sort of like move? Yes. I'd say so. Okay. Behind you, you're gonna hear that skittering again. I would say with the torch lit and everything, you know the way. This is just the reverse of everything you've done before.

I would say the party's moving at a pretty brisk pace. So you're gonna hear that movement behind you, but they're not gonna leave that chamber. I would say it's not worth it to them. Like, if they could ambush you and sort of get the jump on you, that's much more their speed. They're not going to go chasing after well-armored adventurers if there's not a clear advantage for them. So. Let's deal with this water. Because I would say after a time, you're going to get back to that large body of water. There's sort of a chasm in between you. How would you like to deal with this situation having the knowledge that you have now?

Well, shit. I mean, there's no other way. We just have to go across it. Oh, you could double back and try and find a different... No, we don't. Okay, I'm just giving you options, right? There are a million bugs on the other side, though. The flesh-stirrer things. Run blindly through an unknown cave is not an actual option. I didn't say run. Let's just double back and find... Yeah, it's like, no. We'll build a bridge of goblin corpses and... We'll go back, we take the goblin corpses, we put them in the water, and then we don't have to swim. We'll whittle their bones down to make sharp new weapons.

We'll just live here. If there's no objection, Cassie will offer, because she's... Cabba, what's your strength? Let me look. 23, mod 6. Someone who has good arm muscles should try to chuck the torch across to the other shore so that we have light over there and we don't ruin another torch, basically. But then after that, we should probably just run, jump, swim. What does everyone think? Sounds like a plan. This is what Cassie's saying to us right now? Yeah, sorry, I didn't do it in the voice. My bad. Mmm. Mmm. Yeah, if Cassie said that out loud, Cabba will just grab the torch and throw it.

Oh, okay. Don't even wait for people to take it. She wants to get the fuck out of here. Let's go. Alright. Do we need to roll for it to reach the other shore, or...? I... here's what I'd like you to do. Cabba, I would like you to roll an athletics check. Okay. And as long as it's 15 or higher, I'd say it reaches the other side. Yay. Bam! Hey! Look at that! So Cabba's gonna take this lit torch and just whip it at the other side. And it is going to land just like "ting ting" You're gonna hear it land on the other side, and you're gonna see sort of a slightly illuminated silhouette on the other side here.

It's a far enough distance away that it's not crazy visible, but it's definitely... it is a light in the darkness. Now you're not gonna see anything skittering this time. There's nothing over there yet. Ooh. Doesn't appear to be anything waiting for you on the other side. I guess everything... it's been hours, so everything just sort of went back to where it came from. Nice throw. Thanks. Okay, this swim's not gonna suck any less. Let's do it. Alright. And Cassie just backs up, gets a running start, and leaps. Flash! Is everyone else jumping in with Cassie? Ooh.

Sure is. Yeah. Yep. [laughter] Cassie is an excellent swimmer. Yes. Oh, we gotta do this. Okay. Doran. Doran's doing great. Everyone do an athletics check for me. Here it comes. Boom! Hi, Roller. Hi, Roller. Draconis five. Draconis, god damn it. Once again, getting caught on his cape. Okay, I... wow. Just straight belly flop into the water. I would say... I don't know if Sonya's riding on someone's shoulders or something like that, but Sonya's doing fine. I'm doggy paddling. Right. It's a little sloppy, but definitely staying above water. Cassie, Doran, Kava, Sonya all get in the water, and Draconis just sort of falls in and immediately just starts writhing.

You ever see an animal jump into water and just instant regret? Like, oh my god. No solid ground. I would say that's what's happening right now. Draconis is just panicking and splashing and writhing. It's like throwing an adult cow off a diving board. Just like... There is no grace or dignity to what's happening here with Draconis. So does Cassie get out on the other side? I would say Cassie was the first one to jump in. Cassie had an excellent athletics role. Yeah, I'd say Cassie's doing fine. Okay, I'm checking my inventory to see if there's a coil of rope.

Also, does anyone else carry a coil of rope? I think everyone does. That's standard adventure junk. Sweet. I would like to try to throw a coil of rope to Draconis and drag him in. Alright. Throwing the rope out there is just super simple. Now, what I'd like to... She winds up with it and she goes, "Fishing for drunks!" (laughter) Oh, it's a drunk tank. Sorry. Guys, he's not a drunk. He's a drunk addict. I know, right? Come on, now. Here's... Okay. Does Draconis grab the rope? Um... Not quite. Really? Does it land right in front of me? I would say... Jesus. Okay, you know what, Cassie, do me a favor.

Roll an athletics check. Unless it's crazy low, I'd say this just... It's a straight shot. Yeah, oh my god. This lands on Draconis' face. That's almost a crit. (laughter) Alright, I'm gonna grab it. Just tie it like a noose around his neck and drag him through the water. Since it's such a good roll, yes, Draconis is gonna grab it since it's right in front of him. Okay. As I'm screaming and flopping around in the water. Okay. Okay. So, I'd say right after that, Doran reaches shore and... Doran, then Cava, then Sonya. Are people gonna help? Joy, heck. Why? I don't know.

Cassie's going to some effort. (laughter) Come on, I am not going to have a death on my conscience no matter how stupid he is! I'm just gonna start screaming, "I think something touched my leg!" Cava's gonna go right up next to Cassie and fold her arms and just say, "Gotta learn to swim sometime." We don't have time to make this a teachable moment! (laughter) Are you gonna help? (grunts) Cava will help. God dammit. I would say with the combined effort, you're gonna drag Draconis to shore. Alright, Draconis is gonna crawl up onto the shore and say, "Jesus Christ, it took you guys long enough." Can we kick him back in?

Hey, Draconis. Yeah, yeah. Hey, everyone. Do me a favor, roll Perception. Oh, mine's not very good. Me either. Ooh, someone got a 20. Ooh, I got a crit! I got a crit! Great. Of all people. (laughter) Okay. I wonder, okay, Jake is not a bad guy, but I hear it in everyone's voices. They're like, "You know what? We didn't put up with this with Shavar. We're not gonna do it here." (laughter) I can hear it in the party. Why are your wizards always assholes? Like, why? Okay. I say this out of, "Jake plays the best asshole." Yes. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

(laughter) Draconis was right. Something did touch his leg. Oh, fuck. See? I would say that Draconis felt it. Sonya is going to spot something break in the water. This is a long, black, smooth, tubular object. It is going to break in the water. There's these little spines that's gonna fan out as it breaks. It's going to dive back down into the water. Just as Draconis is coming out, it is going to spring up from the water and lunge at Draconis. Oh, fuck. What it appears to be is a giant worm of some sort. Here's what I'd like to do. I am going to roll a little attack versus Draconis.

Oh. Wow, Jesus, that's a good roll. Does a 29 hit your AC? Yes. Okay. So. A media interrupt. Okay. Because I saw shocking feedback. You quickly fire an enchanted shot at an attacking enemy, then cause magic from the enchantment to leap to your ally as a protective ward. So I guess I was getting the water off my crossbow, saw the thing, I was like, "Oh, fuck," and then did this. Does that interrupt damage or does it just do damage to the thing? It does damage and he gains resist five damage. Resist all types of damage. Okay. But it says a media interrupt. Right.

So that doesn't stop the damage from happening. It just gives him some resistance to the thing. Yes. Okay. So, shocking feedback. 16. Let's see. Hold on a sec. I have -- oh, sorry. Yeah. This is to the -- that will just miss. Do I have anything gnome? That's like, gonna do it again. Do I have anything gnome? Ooh, ooh, ooh. Augment energy. A weapon gains plus two bonuses if reaction once can't be used twice. That'll hit then. Okay. How much of a kick in the pants would it be if you -- no, you still miss. Yeah. That would just be dickish. Okay. Here's what we're gonna do.

Guys, I'm going to throw the swarm of the battlefield, because this is officially a thing. Oh, no. We're good. Jason, this is lightning damage, and it's in the water. Does that do anything? I'd say that's a -- Is Draconis still in the water? No, no, no. I got out. Okay. We're kind of covered in it, though. Sonya, go ahead, and is there a status effect to give Draconis the resist five? Or you just want to -- I could just shave it off. I don't see a zombie. Okay. Well, then, I'll just do this. I'll just modify it by five. So 16 damage to Draconis, and I'm gonna say that is 16 damage to the worm, because I'm gonna give it a plus five, because it's in the water and it's lightning damage.

Oh, nice. So let's do that. Boom. Everyone do me a favor. Roll initiative. No. Wow. Okay. I'm fast today. Cool. Nice. I feel like I have an effect on initiative as a warlord, and I should mention that now. Okay. Combat leader. You and each ally within ten squares who can see and hear you gains a plus two power bonus to initiative. All right. So if anyone's within two points of the worm, just, I guess, adjust around that. Let's see. I rolled a six, so I am -- boop. And your bonus gets an eight. Okay. Everyone's been adjusted. Cool. Hey, Doran. Mm-hmm? You're first. All right.

I'm trying to look and see what I kind of want to do. Let me look at the map real quick. Oh, I kind of need to shift. There's still one open spot for melee. There is. Yeah, actually, there is -- I do have a thing called pressing strike where before the attack I can shift two squares. I can move through an enemy space through it. I can't end there. That's fine. So I guess I can do that then. So move over there and then pressing strike. Let me make sure I got that. All right. Oh, God, yes. I think that hit. Yes. Don't forget the target. Yeah, that totally hit. Oh, right.

Yes. You're good. Let's see. Can I -- oh, shit. I forget how to do some of the stuff on here. There should be a little blood drop next to the power. Okay. Blood drop. Seven damage. Got the one. All right. Hey, that's how you do it. There we go. That's good. That's good stuff. Anything else? I think that'll be it. All right. So I should mention that Draconis is grabbed by this worm currently. Whoa. You didn't mention that. I didn't. The bite is kind of a persistent thing. Like he's just kind of latched on to Draconis. So on the worm's turn, he is going to try to use something called drag under.

Oh, my God. That's what I figured was going to happen. So as soon as he said grabbed, I'm like, oh, we're going to have to fish Draconis' body out of the water, aren't we? Yeah, this is going to be -- He's going to use an attack called drown and mutilate. No. He's going to use an attack called fuck you, Draconis. I knew this day would come. Oh, God. Here's what's going to happen. Oh, man. The worm is going to shift backward and drag Draconis. There goes Cava. Cava's gone. Not Cava. Damn it, you. Wait, I don't have -- like, is this a roll or something, or does it automatically do this?

No, it just automatically does this. Oh, my God. It's up to a party to -- you'll still get a turn. So what happens is that you are going to take ongoing 10 damage. Jesus. And that is just going to happen. It's a save ends. If you do save, then you kind of break away. You're still in the water with the worm if you do, but yeah. Cool. Minus five. Minus five. So, yes. There you go. That's good news, right? So you're up to 21 damage instead of -- there you go. That's pretty good. Sweet. That's good, right? Right? Now, am I underwater at this point in time or no? The worm sort of has you wrapped up.

So, like, some of the worm is exposed up top, but the worm is pretty occupied with Draconis right now. So the good news is it can't bite the rest of the party. Now, is there any chance I could still be holding on to that rope? I -- hmm. Give me an athletics check. Let me see how tightly you were holding on to that rope. I don't have a good athletics check. Here -- or athletics roll. Here you go. Oh, 15. You know what? I would say yes. Sweet. Is anybody holding on to the other end? Not if I have to fight. God. No. So the good news is, free rope. Yeah, I'm still holding on to it at least.

At least I can wrap it around my own throat and choke myself out before I drown. Going out on your own terms. I like it. Yep. Cassie, your turn. Draconis uses autoasphyxiate and -- Yes. Cassie obviously lets go of the rope. No. What's the opposite of what I wanted to happen? I have to be honest. She pulls her sword and shield and she says, "You give him back!" And she leaps into the water trying to cover the distance to this thing. Aw, this -- God, I love Cassie. Can I just say that? I just -- I love Cassie. Nobody dies on her watch. Cassie does not die on this party.

Okay. Cassie's the one who dies on her watch. Oh, God. That will be really sad. Aw. So, kind of a running leap type thing? Just jumping in? Yeah. Can I make it to that square? I would say it's not that far away. I'd say adjacent, yeah. Plunk. Okay. And then I'm gonna -- Draconis, are you bloodied? No, not yet. I don't think. Not yet? Okay. I'll wait on it. Don't die in the meantime. That was a problem. Wait, how much damage are you down? 21. He's taken 21 so far. 21. 21. Okay. I don't think I can possibly over-heal you, so I will -- I'll go ahead. And so I leapt out. There's my move action.

My minor action is going to be Inspiring Word on Draconis. And there's no anything for that button-wise. But it's -- you can spend a Healing Surge and regain an additional 1v6 plus my constant -- or my Charisma modifier, which is a plus 3. So do me a favor. Roll a 6. Roll a d6. D6 plus 3? Mm-hmm. Can I -- let's see. Oh, I have to -- let's see. You can just do it in the -- yeah, just roll the modifier up. Or type it in. Three. Oh. Okay. So your Healing Surge value plus 4. Okay. So I'll take care of that for you. Okay. Okay. So boom. And boom. All right. So that's -- that's a lot.

So only 6 damage now. Okay. 6 damage now. And then -- By the way, 22 was my bloodied. I was at 21, so -- Okay. Okay. So you needed it, and I wasn't going to over-heal you, so why not, right? And then I will -- so that was my move and my minor. Then my main action -- my standard action will be my daily. One of my dailies, anyway. And this is Exemplar of Action. So this is a Strength versus Will attack. I have the target set up, so I'm going to roll it. I'm going to roll a 2. Am I anywhere near its Will with a 2, with that 13? Well, I can't really tell you. You can't tell me, can you?

Okay. I'm going to -- I will risk this. Heroic effort, you miss with an attack or fail a saving throw. You gain a +4 racial bonus to that attack or saving throw. So does a 17 hit its Will? You're damn right a 17 hits its Will. Oh, thank goodness. Okay. So -- all right. I blew my daily. I blew my heroic effort. I get two Inspiring Words, so I won't check that off yet. Okay. So I hit it. So here's the damage. Nice. 12. And then this thing is Get Ready For It. The target is Weakened and grants combat advantage. Hey. Save ends both. And until the target is no longer affected by this power, all my allies deal five extra damage with attacks.

Nice. So I'm going to go Boom and Boom. I believe that's it. Yep. That should do it. See, grants combat advantage, target five bonus damage, and then I need to weaken it still. There's Weakened. Wow. That is a lot of stuff. Yes. Oh my gosh. I'm so glad for heroic effort. All right. It's the real MVP. Okay. Anything else? That is my turn. Okay. Hey, Cava. Yes? That would be your turn. Do you feel like Cassie's got this well in hand, or do you want to jump into the water and save Draconis, who he loves so dearly? I just wish that my initiative was a little higher because I could have pulled Draconis out of this creature's grasp and brought him back on shore and then we could just peace out.

But unfortunately, I did not roll, so Cava is just going to exasperatedly, God fucking damn it, and she'll jump in the water. Yay. Pool party. Yes. And she'll come over and attack this worm with Crushing Blow. One second. Sorry. And I'm going to mark it too. Not that that does anything. Well, that's something. That means it attacks you. Holy shit. That's a good roll. 31. That is a hit. Definitely. Yeah. That's 110 percent a hit. Okey-doke. And I'll just get a little blood drop here. Holy shit. Okay. Holy shit. Wow. Hey, guess what? Yeah. You bloodied the worm. Nice. Nice.

I have a thingy for that. Mm, so does it. Yay. I can't wait to hear its thingy. As a result of being bloodied. I do not want to hear its thingy. As a result of being bloodied, it is going to double down and try to finish eating what's in its mouth. So it's going to roll two bite attacks against Draconis. Okay. If I bloody the enemy though, it takes negative two penalty to attack rolls. Oh, that's good. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. Hey, Draconis. Yeah. Get ready. I am ready. So negative two. Here we go. Negative two to two. Okay. So check this out. Negative two to 29.

This is where things get interesting. The worm has a thing. What's it called? Just making sure I have the right thing. Yeah, it scores a crit on a 19 or 20. So that is technically a crit. So hold onto that for a moment. Okay. And a second. Oh my God. Can I do the other second part of my thing? Well, the damage has to go through first. This is glorious. So we still have a torch up on the land, right? Yeah. Okay. So here's what's going to happen. First, let me roll this crit, but he is weakened, so it's going to do less damage. That's good. 27, half of that to Draconis.

Okay. So that brings you up to 19. And then the second one is just 24, then half. Okay. So 31, that's total damage. So I'm bloodied. You are bloodied. I'm now bloodied. Cava. Yes. Go ahead. Okay, so the things of my thing were that because it was marked, I don't know if this works, but because it was marked, it takes -2 penalty to attack rolls that don't include me as a target. A creature can be subject to more blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then because of the free action, it takes another -2. So I don't know if those would still have hit. Because of the free -- okay, hold on a second.

Let's delve into this. So it started off at 29. Because that's a reactionary hit, like it wasn't like its turn, and then it was just choking down. So I'm -- yeah. I mean, they'd still hit anyway, no matter what. Okay. I just wanted to be sure, but the other second part of this free action is that also if you bloodied the triggering enemy, you can immediately make an intimidate check against it to force it to surrender. Oh, God. Oh, boy, I'd have to say that would be really high. Yeah. Because it's not like -- it's basically an animal. But, yeah, we could try it.

Okay. Crit, crit, crit, crit, crit. Oh, gosh. Or a 5. Oh, wow. No. Hey, that was in sight. That was in sight. What's your -- so we'll take the roll. What's your intimidate? Eight. I'd still say that's too low. Yeah, okay. Worth a try, guys. Yeah, totally worth a try. He gets -2 to attack rolls until I'm hit. Okay. Okay, good. So that's like a bad worm. That's a very -- Hey, you, get your damn hands off her. There was water in your mouth. You were trying to say something, but you started choking. Anything else? That is it. It's still marked by me, so if it attacks anything else, I'm going to attack it.

Okay, Sonya. Okay. Sonya's going to be like, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," and then get closer, and then throw one of our healing infusions at Draconis. It's just like a potion, and I have to be within five of him. Okay. And he gains a healing surge, plus two. Let's take care of that. Boop. Oh, nice. I'm no longer bloodied. Nice. That's what you're doing, though. That's what having friends gets you. Yes. You guys are the best. Oh, my God. And the whole time she's going, "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," like the whole time. So am I. Okay, so first I'm going to do Thundering Armor.

So, I break out my wand, and I aim this at Draconis, and it coalesces around him and gives him plus one AC. Ooh, chill. And then I roll against -- then it coalesces around him and then pushes out at the worm. So then, what's the next part? I don't know. I don't either. What? The next part you crit, apparently. That's the next part. Nice. See that beautiful bean footage. I didn't know we had a new sponsor, Jason. Yeah, thank you for the one person who got that. Pushes Baked Beacons. Yep, thank you. Thirteen damage to the worm. Oh, and as it pushes out from Draconis, it actually pushes the creature one square away.

So Draconis is no longer grabbed. Is that true? Does it say it breaks the grab? It says you push the secondary target one square away, I guess if his reach is more than one. Does that mean I go with it? No, you stay -- it pushed out from you. I would say it relinquishes the grab. Okay. Whole time. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Motherfuck. Everything's going wrong. Everything's terrible. Yes. Anything else? No, I did standard, move, and minor. Okay, done. Last, and certainly not least in the lineup, Draconis. Alright, question really quick so I don't do anything stupid. Does my -- is it only daily powers that sets off the rod?

Yeah, yeah. That's when we roll the big D100. So only dailies got it. Just making sure before I do anything stupid here, because I do not want to do anything stupid. Right. Alright, so -- I don't like how many times you're saying that, Jay. So what I'm going to do -- Uh-huh. Each creature in the burst. I like that. [Laughter] Oh my god. Alright. I'm going to stay on the land. So what I'm going to do here, I'm going to cast Scorching Burst, which is its -- it's at will. Does that -- that's -- so I'm good. Uh-huh. It's area one within ten squares. So I'm going to do it right on its back -- back right corner.

Right where that little blood splat is right there. Okay. So it will not -- it will not attack any of us. It's only a creature in the burst. So let's see. Here we go. Right. Alright. Okay, that's going to miss. Oh, okay. Good. Sweet. Okay. Um -- I'm going to end my turn. Okay. So -- I tried, guys. I tried. I'm kind of underwater. My leg's half bitten here. I tried. I have a fever. I haven't eaten breakfast today. My controller's low on batteries. There's lag. Here's what we're going to do. That ends the round. Mm-hmm. So I'm going to roll a d20. A what? A d20. On a 10 or higher, you guys are fine.

Okay. 12. Yeah. Dorian, your turn. Wait. I don't know what that was about. What was going to happen? Where is the rope? I'm still holding the rope. Basically, what I heard was we have to kill this thing in this round. Yeah, let's not -- let's not let a second d20 happen. Right. We got this, guys. Oh, my God. Jesus. I mean, okay. Is there anything that can -- like, I want to help, but I don't want to jump in the water. Can he grab the other end of the rope and pull me? Is that a thing? Can he do that? I mean, yeah. Can I scream, pull me in? Sure. Okay, Draconis is going to start screaming, pull me in.

Like, nobody in particular. I'm just going to start screaming, pull me in. Use specifically. Well, I'm going to say those exact words, pull me in. Is the rope available for us on the land to pull him in? I would say -- I would say -- you know what? Hold on a second. Saving throw. Let's see. Yeah, I would say so. Okay. Then, yeah, I would say if I have to move or something, I'd probably do probably a strength check or something? Yeah. To try to pull him back in? Yeah. All right. So I'll just move a little bit closer to -- Okay. Give me an athletics check. Athletics.

All right. Yeah. There we go. I had to find the right tab. Gorgeous. 16. That's good. No. You'll start to reel Draconis back in, and I would say he's going to make it to shore. Oh, can I -- oh, okay. I was going to ask if I could reach for somebody. No. Okay. Well, never mind. Okay. Not quite yet. I would assume that'd be it. Okay. Mauler worm. Mauler worm's got a -- And he's got saves to make it the end of turn. Yeah. Geez. Mauler worm's going to go after Kava. Racist worm. It's just dragonborn. She marked it. Yeah, she marked it. That's -- Oh, okay. Okay. Come on. Oh, shit.

It's going after her because she's doing her job. Yeah. That's how that works. That's going to hit. Benefits suck. I got heals for days. You'll be great. 23 damage, but that's cut in half. Yes, weakened status. Yeah. Ooh, ooh. We're going to end our lovely worm's turn, and there's so many saving throws. Hold on a second. Wow, that sucked. That's a two, guys. It's one save for both effects, so both stay then, right? Yep. I think so, yeah. Yes. Nice. So that persists, guys. Cassie, your turn. Cassie looks at Kava and says -- Good luck. Looks like he's back on shore. You ready to finish this with me?

Damn right. All right. She's going to use Hammer and Anvil, which will let Kava attack here in just a moment. So, step one, my attack, Strength versus Reflex. Let me check that off as I'm using it. Okay. Holy lord. Gorgeous. 29. Okay. So, deals one weapon plus Strength modifier damage, and one ally adjacent to the target can make a melee basic attack as a free action with a bonus to the damage roll equal to my Charisma modifier, which is three. Holy god. So, here's my damage, which is not much. Seven damage to the worm. Three extra damage. All right. Now you get to make a melee basic with bonus damage.

Okay. Here we go. I love being a warlord. Oh my gosh. Oh, yeah. That's a hit. Woot woot. That will kill the worm. Yes. Yeah. Woot woot. And you're, that was so badass too. You're like, are you ready to finish this? And then bam, finished it. Sorry. Just. I love, I love the teamwork warlord. So good. Cheerleader warlord. The important thing is, the important thing is, Draconis survived. Yeah, teamwork. Teamwork. So. Guess who's gonna make her sure as fast as she can. Right. I kind of think. Yeah. Jesus. Okay. So. You guys are very soggy. And. A little worse for the worm, but you're all alive.

That is, that is important. Let's just get you. Boop. There you go. Cassie's just like going around the party. She's like, that was so cool. We did so much teamwork and you were great and you were great and you were great. And she gets to Draconis and you made it. And you were there too. Oh God. Is there anything you'd like to do before pressing forward? I would like to press forward before pressing forward. Okay. Well, Kava is gonna. Oh, go ahead. Well, I was just going to turn to you actually and be like, what the fuck did we just do? Kava is just going to try.

This won't be successful, but she's going to like, try to shake off the water like a poodle. Like, because she's so pissed off and she'll just respond. Let's just keep fucking going. Here's what I'd like to do. No, thank you. Nobody cares, Jason. To simulate the rest of the walk back to the surface, I would like one of you to roll a flat D20 for me. Not it. I'll do it. Whatever. Who's going to do it? You got this. Bam. Do it. 16. Good job. That's gorgeous. And, and downright luminescent. It's, it's great. So disappointed. I'm not disappointed. I'm happy for you. Ecstatic.

That passive aggressiveness down. Phenomenal. I would say a few hours are going to go by and you are going to make your way back to the surface. You are going to see a, you're going to see a pinprick of light that gradually is going to reveal itself to be like, wait, no, that's, we're, we're, we're good. Now it's, it's, it's nighttime outside, but the moon is out, so it's definitely much lighter outside than it is in, in this cavern. So you guys are out. You've retrieved the Bellavecna. We did it guys. Can I ask a quick question? Yes. Just cause I was relooking at my notes.

What can you just remind me what the Bellavecna like does? Well, we told that, I guess is my question. Well, okay. It's not exactly what you were told because Yost wouldn't have told you anything. Other than, cause he's not trying to tell you what the item you're out to retrieve is worth is. It all depends on basically how faithful you are in the gods of Theria and relics and all that stuff. But the rumor is that the Bellavecna with the right ritual could potentially bring someone back from the dead. It's debatable though, as to how effective it is or why this was sealed away or all of that.

Some of the rumors are that people come back wrong, that people aren't meant to come back from the dead ever and a lot of this stuff. So, whether you believe that it works or not doesn't take away from its core value. Like someone's willing to pay for it, if even for the simple fact that there's one of it in the world. Like it's like, "Hey, that's a nice mantlepiece conversation thing." Whether or not you actually believe that there's a ritual tied to it and that it would actually do anything, it's up to you. Okay. Okay. After you get out of this cavern, what would you guys like to do?

Is our buggy still here? The penismobile. What's it called again? The nipple. The nipple. The penismobile. Is the nipple still there? We didn't get a snag, did we? No. Firstly, no one would steal that. Secondly, I know, I know, Sonya did a lot of alterations to it. I know, I know. But it is an eyesore. The gall of you, sir. I'm sorry. It's a giant bronze nipple. It's... Some people would find that appealing. Some people like bronze nipples, Jason. They do. They're called statues. So, yeah, this thing is still sitting there. You guys are in the middle of nowhere, firstly, so for someone to happen by and just decide, "Hey," like, yeah, everything's still there where you left it.

Oh, it feels good to be out under the sky. Okay, armor coming off, change of clothes. It's gonna be okay. Gonna walk this off. Oh, okay. Yeah, I would imagine just the fact that there's nice, fresh air, like a cool breeze touching you guys, it would feel extra cool. Being as how you're still probably a bit, like, moist in some areas, kind of wet in your clothes and stuff. So a nice change of clothes is probably not a bad idea. Doing that. Okay. Are we saddling up and starting the ride back to Esterhole? Oh, this is it. I just remember that there was some talk about Odysseus.

Yeah, that thing. And I'm trying to decide whether or not Kaba would bring it up. So for those of you who don't remember, there is a large black dragon rumored to be in Odysseus. More importantly to this group, there are people who would pay to find out more about the large black dragon that may or may not be chilling out in the city of Odysseus. See, Jamie knows it's a really bad idea. Well, you don't know. I'm pretty sure though. I think if she was going to bring it up, she would bring it up to Sonya. So like somewhere along the ride, she would probably huddle really close to her and just ask, "So, what do you think about this dragon talk?" I don't know, boss.

It's a giant black dragon. What if we run into it? Giant beasts bring massive money. We aren't the stealthiest. This would require going in quiet and leaving quiet. I'm just saying, if we can find somebody willing to pay... It'd have to be for the right amount. Well, when we get back, I'm going to ask around. Alright, boss. You know I'd follow you. And she's just going to lean back with like a very large sinister grin. Anybody else feel like watching Grease after this? So going back to Asterhold. That sounded like an Asterhold. Are we on the ride? I guess so. Well, other people probably...

I'm not sure if you wanted to bring it up, or if you guys just want to get back to Asterhold. Because I think we discussed it on the way here. I believe it was tabled until after you figured out if you were going to survive this little trek into the caverns. So there is always group vote, but I have a pretty good idea how a group vote would go in this particular circumstance. I was thinking along the lines of like, if Sonya was down, since she's the one driving, Kaba was just going to tell her to go. Oh Jesus! I did think people would notice, we're going further south.

Going further south. This is not north. Hey, you missed the turn. Where are we? Hey. You took the wrong exit. I don't think all of us would notice. Little pit stop guys, calm down. I'm going to stop and get gas. Aw, she said we were going to the beach, but we're going to the vet. Shoot. So again, if you were to look at a map, you guys were up in the mountains when you descended. You got out of the cavern, so you'd have to descend the mountains, and then there's basically a choice. You can head north, go back to Odyssea, that's a long trek, couple of days, but you already knew that.

Or you head south, and it's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Odyssea. You guys would be pretty close. So again, up to you. Whatever you want to do. It is very tough to spend money when you're dead. So if you were to get a dragon's attention that may or may not be in this city... I think we leaned on Esterhold, right? That sounds like it. Is anybody going to bring it up? Beyond our one-on-one conversation? I don't think so. Okay. Go on Esterhold. As that's going on, did the discussion about what the Bella Vecta is rumored to do happen out loud? I believe Sonya mentioned it on the way in.

Now you guys actually have this artifact. It is no longer a theoretical object, like you're holding it. What would your thoughts be on that? Oh, thoughts. Do I have thoughts? Okay. So yeah, Cassie kind of pipes up, and she's just kind of looking at it, not touching it or anything, but just kind of looking at it. So... I know we went out to get this and sell it, but I feel like we never really had the discussion as to whether it's responsible to just give something that can raise the dead to the highest bidder? I mean, do we just... I mean, I'm not saying no, but I'm saying, can we have that talk?

Because I don't know how well we really know this Yoast guy, you know what I'm saying? Alright, Draconis, who's currently gnawing on his bone while that question's being asked, he's gonna quickly point it to Cassie and say, "You know what? That's the smartest thing you've said since his whole fucking trip. You know what? Let's go, let's sell it to somebody else. We can get double the money. Let's cash in on this bad boy." That is... that's not... no, no, that was not the implication or the words. She's looking around for help in the wagon. I guess it would just be you, Doran, and Draconis, right?

Because Sonya and I are... Oh, Cassie would tap you two on the shoulder and say, "Hey, listen in." She wants this fully discussed. Cassie seems inclusive. Yeah, oh yeah, that's her gig. So yeah, consider yourself to have heard what I just said. Okay. Then she'll point at Draconis and just say, "I hate to admit it, but this guy... he's got something racking up in there." Oh, you mean about the selling for more thing? She'll nod. I mean, I don't have any problem with selling it for more to the right people. I just... I want to know that we didn't drag something super dangerous magical up from the depths, and then it's going to cause another bigger super dangerous magical problem in the future.

Draconis is gonna kind of like lean in, "You got a guy?" What? No, I don't have a guy. I don't have any guys. Oh, sorry. No, I'm not... I'm not... like for selling things. Like I don't... I don't have a... what's the word? I don't do stuff like a fence. Is that the thing where you... I don't know what you guys want us to do, but hey, I'm with Cassie. I say we find a new buyer. This... okay, that's kind of what I said. That's closer than the first thing. So, good job. Kava, Sonia, Dor... it's Doran, right? Doran's looking... Doran... oh, they're all in the corner.

Convenient. Kava, Sonia, Doran... you see what I'm saying, right? Like this, if it works, could be like a super big problem if we give it to the wrong people. Well, how do we... how do we know this Charles guy or whatever the fuck his name is? How do we know that he's a bad guy, first of all? You mean... you mean Yoast? Yeah, I guess so. Sure. Okay. Okay. I mean, we don't. We know literally nothing. That's what I'm getting at. I mean, like what if... I know churches and sanctuaries around Theria probably can't pay as much as this guy, but they might keep it in a reliquary or something.

Time out, time out. You just throw church out here? Come on, no. Look, they don't have any money. They don't know what they're doing. We gotta find somebody that's got the coin. Let's cash in on this bad boy. I mean, I thought Charles was gonna do a good job with it, but if you know somebody, let's fucking cash in. Cassie is just like making sad eyebrows at everyone else in the cart and hoping anyone else weighs in on this. Sidebar, does Jachonus need a hit right about now? It's been... it's been a while. Now that you mention it, it's like I didn't want to complicate things further.

I'd suggest... like, okay, look. He's not himself. I just want to see how irrational he'd be right now. Well, quite, but... Beyond Jachonus irrational. It's been a while. It's been... it's been a while. Because that would actually affect Sonya, because anything that Jachonus says is probably... she'll be like, well, he's just crazy. Take it with a grain of salt. Right. Yeah. And especially if he looks like, you know, scratching arms and buggy eyes, like crazier than usual. Well, like, okay. Jachonus knows he only has a little bit of bloodroot left. That's one of the reasons for this journey is to keep him in bloodroot.

So I guess that would be up to Jachonus. Like, it's been days. Like, it's been a while, right? So, like, yeah, like, it'd be about time, but like, I'm sure he's been low before. Like, okay, I could stretch this out. But you know what happens when you stretch it out. So it's up to you. I'm not going to bring it up at the moment. Okay. But I would say he's definitely, you know, little baggy eyed, little, like, whatever the Dragonborn equivalent would be of like that, that sweaty kind of withdraws look. So just kind of mouth open, just kind of like panting almost.

Okay. That was just, I just want to know how crazy he looks right now as he's going, we need more money. Is anybody going to help me weigh in on this? And Jachonus, your contribution was appreciated. The thing you said about Charles. This is your idea, buddy. All right. You got this, kid. Nobody else is talking. Come on. You talked enough in the cave. Cassie, it's not a fucking problem. It's getting too complicated. Let's just go to Ghost. Get our money. What would Doran be thinking, actually? Because I haven't heard Doran weigh in on this. I was hoping if there was a newspaper for me to read.

So not just be like, just be like, I'm just going to sit this one out. He just doesn't want to be part of this conversation. He's got a textbook held upside down in front of him. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't work out. Hey, I didn't weigh in on this. Okay. Just remember, if you don't vote, you don't get to complain about the election afterward. Like you just, you got to, you at least have to weigh in. You got to just let you know. We were paid to do a gig, kid. Like, you want to back out now after going the distance? Yes, that is exactly what we're saying right now at this point in time.

So we go in there, we get it, and then we have it in our possession. And now we just want to like, give it away? No, no, not give it away. I mean, surely we can. Okay, how about this? We don't need to find someone else. We give like a couple hours to the effort of investigating Ghost's motives. Like seeing what he plans to do with it. See if we can find out anything about what kind of guy he is. If we hand it over to him and end up putting a bunch of people in danger because he resurrects some crazy-eyed drock or other something or other. Alright, Draconis is going to point the bone again at Cassie.

You know what? Boom! Again! Let's strong arm the motherfucker. Let's find out what he really wants. Let's fucking get this motherfucker down. You know what? I'm in. Let's go. I don't even know anymore. I... Okay. Okay. Alright. For your conscience, a few hours won't kill us to find information. I'm okay with that. Carver? I appreciate it. Whatever. And she'll turn back around, done with the conversation. Dorn'll say the same thing. I guess if you want to spend a little bit of time looking into it, I mean, what's it gonna hurt? Thanks guys. I appreciate it. That's gonna be good.

We're gonna have to talk about that guy problem later though. Oh, there's... We're gonna have to find you someone, kid. I mean... Believe me, I am off the market right now if you knew half of it. We'll talk about this later. Not in front of the minifolk. Yeah, okay. Sure. And I guess we'll hear you head to Esterhold. Alright. Now, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna simulate the rest of this journey. It's about, let's say, two, two and a half days. So, taking the standard, you're traveling eight, nine hours a day, you're resting up, you're moving on. Who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat D20 and see how this journey goes?

I did it. I committed. You did. Ten, 50-50. Here we go. That's not bad at all. Yeah, that's a fine roll. It's okay. That's nothing like that other thing I rolled with that other group. I'm gonna hear about that. Yeah, oh man, who knew the apocalypse was on the random encounter table? Go figure. Who knew? Who knew destroy everything I love was on the table, huh? I mean, how do you figure? Sorry. No, it's good. Oh boy. You guys... You guys are gonna be rolling back through the same way you came, essentially. There's one main road on this side here, the mountains, that's going to take you north.

Now, along the way, in the path, there is going to be something meaty. And you're all gonna spot it. It's in the middle of the road. Can't miss it. There's gonna be some kind of corpse of something, some wild animal, something like that. And you're gonna see a bunch of boars feasting on this. Now, the problem is, they're not regular boars, but dire boars. Oh yeah, I'm really good with those. And it's basically right around the same area you encountered them before. They're kind of thick in this part. Now, you have a few different options. You can just try and go off-road and go around them.

That has a bit of risk to your cart. You can just wait for them to be done. Or you can try and shoo them away. Or something else that you come up with as a team. But I leave the decision to you. First and foremost, how tough was this nipple? I rolled a crit 20 on making it awesome. Well, okay. It's not a tank. So we can't steamroll these guys? Well, I wouldn't advise it. I'm not saying it's impossible. I'm saying that I don't know if that would be my first decision. Now, I will say they're all kind of clustered together because they're feasting right now. They're kind of eating here.

So, yeah, they're not paying you a ton of mind at the moment. I mean, it's a fight we don't need to pick, guys. So, Sonya's driving, so she'll, I guess, look over her shoulder into the cart and be like, "Hey, guys, there's boars up ahead. You want to wait it out or try and scam away?" Oh, they're like right in the road? They're right in the road. I mean, I guess there's no harm in giving it a little time. It's not like we need to pick a fight if they're not hurting anybody. I mean, I don't want to be that guy, but are you guys hungry? Because I'm kind of hungry right now.

Well, okay, I'm going to mention two things. One, you have plenty of food, like rations-wise. Oh, do we? They're a little soggy, but I'd say that there's something in the cart. They were dried meat, something like that. Now, if you remember, you encountered the boars pretty close by Esterholt, like within a day's travel, which means you guys have been on the road for about a day and a half, let's say. At this point, I would say that Draconis is feeling it. And he will start to, you know, if this goes much further, he's definitely uncomfortable right now, like in his own skin and suffering withdrawals.

Now, if it goes too much further, then you're going to get the vomiting, blood, the damage, all that stuff. But that's in a little bit. Okay, so in that case, okay. I guess when you look back and ask that question, I'm just going to say, you know what, just go right through them. Just, we, you know what, no, just go. Just go. We can't, no wait, no lollygagging. Let's just go. I mean, I could try the dragon roar again, try and scare them off. That's what I meant. I didn't mean fight them. No, I mean, they can't catch us, can they? Can they catch us? We almost died from one.

Actually, you almost died from one. Yeah, hey, hey, look, hey, how fast is the nipple? Let's get this bad boy going. Let's go. I'm going to say there are four in the road. Just throwing that out there. And Draconis is like, he's going to be like tapping and he's going to be like almost looking kind of like antsy, pretty much like let's go. We can do this. Let's just get, let's just go. Who's driving? Sonya. She wouldn't let anybody else drive. So that's just, I'm just saying that out loud, just to the group. Nobody in particular, just saying it. This one, she's going to like point at Draconis.

This one's going to be antsy. You guys want me to try the dragon roar again? Well, I mean, you don't have to roar. Can we just like fly by him? Like, can we just like, just, just go? Just can we just fucking go? I'd much rather not hurt my nipple. Okay. She's going to say it like that too. Like she's going to be like looking at you and be like, I'm not hurting my nipple. Okay. Firstly, I have a new text tone. And this isn't an Arab type of thing. Sonya meant it like that. Okay. That is okay. So there is definitely, there is an attachment to the car. Like it's like, hey, this is my craftsmanship.

This is my baby. That type of thing. Just the same thing. It's like no one's driving it but me. Okay. Just, just, I just wanted to make that. She must have a lot of time into it. Oh, I would imagine. It's a fixer upper. Yeah. What would ever, so, okay. Doran, Kava, what would, what would you guys be thinking? Sitting in the car here. Well Kava would just be sitting up front like listening, getting more and more impatient. But I don't think she would say anything. She just wants to go. I would say the same. I'd say there's no need for a needless fight at this point because we're already not in the greatest shape to be doing anything.

Well, we have rested over the day though, right? So I mean, we're like the day and a half. So we are fully rested. Still, not saying we need a fight. I'm just pointing that out in case. No need for, no need for a needless fight, I'd say. Let's just drive up and see if they scatter. If I get one scratch on this thing, she kind of says that under her breath and then she spurs the horses, I guess. You should go fast. Okay, I'm more comfortable with the dragon roar thing than just rolling on up there. I mean, these are not like normal friendly piggies. These are, these are...

Right, but they're not going to see a bunch of adventurers. They're going to see this big thing come up to them. Like we look bigger than them right now. So Ania was going to spur us on and then do the dragon roar from the cart so it's like a worthy attacking thing. Maybe they'll run off. Ooh, I'll spit fire. Cassie's just furiously strapping armor back on and like... Oh, this is, this is happening. Okay. Well, okay. This is, this, okay. So, holy lord. So you're gonna... This is a slightly different situation than with the goblins, right? Okay. So what I'm going to ask you to do, Sonia, is roll an intimidate check.

Do I get any bonuses from Kava next to me? Well, okay. Was Kava serious about the Breathe and Fire? If that was the plan that the group discussed, yeah, she was serious. Well, there is a lot of plans the group discussed. I feel like everyone's going into this with a slightly different... That's the fun part. If you're doing that, do me a favor, roll to assist in an intimidate check. I'm not sure if that's something you're trained in. No. Kava is rolling to assist. And that's just flat, right? Are you trained in...? Yes, I am. Well, then that is D20 plus two. Can I make the dragon roar come from her so she's the one intimidating?

Sure. Awesome. I'm assisting. Here's the thing. It's not you're the one doing this. This is basically to see how convincing this is, to see how it affects the people. I am the least intimidating. Well, we're trying to make it look like the nipple's doing it, right? Didn't know what you talked about. Like that they see the nipple and they see the fire coming out of the nipple and they think that's the... Okay. Kava roll to assist. And then here we go. Holy lord. One. Oh my god. This is going to be the limbo pet, the simple... Just the meow of the cutest kitty. Yeah.

That is a crit one. Okay. So I get minus one, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Nice roll. Whoa. That's with the minus one. That's not bad. Okay. So this roar is going to come... Kava's going to try and spit fire and it's... The fire's going to kind of... Like it's not... It's not... Maybe indigestion? I don't know. Not amazing though. Can Draconis chuckle kind of? Sure. You can fucking chuckle at me. I just want that to happen by the way. The roar however is quite authentic. It sounds pretty damn good. And these boars are going to look up from what they're doing. Now before they were not paying any attention basically.

They were in the middle of eating. Damn it Bob. They were just right by it. Two of them are going to take off running. Like right off the bat. Just gone. Like they're going to sprint. The other two are going to look up and see the cart. And they're going to... They're sort of going to widen their stance. Like just... Just like get the fuck away. This is our... This is our shit. You are not eating this. This is ours. And they're going to look pretty defensive. I am full speed ahead. Okay. Can we just like kind of veer just a little bit out of the way? Come up just to the side.

Well here's the thing. If you veer off the road there's sort of um... At this point near the corpse it would be sort of uh... Not a ditch but definitely a divot. Where you would... You could tip the cart. Like there's a chance you could tip the cart. Now if you're running full speed. At the... Like you're just telling the horses just go. That type of thing. Mhm. These things are going to be defensive and they are going to... Lower their heads. Poor horses. Oh boy. They're going to try and gore these horses. Now here's what's going to happen. I'm going to have one of these boars roll an attack.

If it were to hit the horse then you guys are going to have... You guys are going to have a hard time. If it were to miss I'm going to say the horses just shirk this off and just barrel right through. There may be a little damage to the horse but they're going to keep going. Yes. Okay? Mhm. Now. Let's do it. I would say uh... I'd say the horses have an AC of let's say 16. Oh that's not good. So as long as the gourd doesn't go over 16 we're good. Oh my god. Oh those poor horses. 28. To be fair she said she didn't want to scratch on the nipple. That's true. She didn't say anything about the horses.

You're heartless. Oh oh oh oh oh oh poor babies. Oh boy. Okay so here's what's going to happen. These boar are going to get super defensive, lower their tusks and just like gore. Like just come up I'd say right around the shoulder/neck region of these horses. So it's just going to take a lot of damage. These horses are going to stop dead and kind of shriek out. Now the cart is stopped. Like you guys... There's some damage to your horses. They're not dead or anything like that but they are in pain. And you now have a problem. What would you like to do? Because these boars are definitely...

They're attacking now. You have encroached upon their territory and their kill. These are the worst horses ever. I mean I guess we've got to bail out and fight if they drove us to a stop. Either that or we're walking. I'll get a map ready because that's what it sounds like. Let's load that map up. Alright. They didn't roll initiative yet. Don't do that. Everyone do me a favor I guess and roll initiative. That's two in one day. We very rarely have two combats in one day. I know. Oop. That was bad. I need to get my powers ready. So did we say we had rested like gotten the full 90% of the battle?

Yeah. Totally. Everything's taken care of. You got your stuff back. It points to all that stuff. Okay. Here we go. Hey Doran. Yes? You're up first. Alright. You're proactive. Oh. Did we do this plus two for everyone? Will that matter, Jason? Let's see here. It's everyone but you, right? Correct. Yeah, then no. As much as I don't like to, I'm gonna saunter on over here. Oh, it's kind of... There we go. And let me see here. Why are the boars so big? They're dire, sir. Oh. Okay. This is a bad idea. Pfft. [Laughter] You son of a bitch, you. [Laughter] I guess I'll just do a jarring smash.

Alright. Let's do it. Hey, I got it right this time with the targeting. Yay! Proud of you. [Laughter] Hey, that's a hit! That's a 26. Dude, that's a good way to start. And... Send in damage to the boar. Anything else? Umm... I think that'll be it. Well... Sorry, I do have minor actions. Let me look at this real quick. Because I haven't quite seen... I actually have auras that I could use. I might want to try to use them. Yeah, since I still have a minor action left, don't I? Yeah. Potentially. Yeah, then I'll use Defender Aura on myself. Okay. Which will give him a -2 penalty to attack rolls.

Alright. Let's see. Dire Boar 1 standing right in front of Doran is gonna use gore. Because... why wouldn't it? Good thing I used Defender Aura. Yeah, it is. So let's see here. Target Doran and gore. Oh, more like Goran. Yeah, that helped. [Laughter] I hate that I'm having a hot hand with dice today. 20 damage to Doran. Doran A. Draconis. Okay. Here we go. It's time class. Alright. Again, I'm gonna stay where I am. I'm gonna cast Scorching Burst, which is Burst 1 within 10 squares. Gonna put it in between them? I'm gonna put it right - I don't - okay, that doesn't quite do the - I'm gonna do it right - oh, no, that's not doing it either.

Yep, right in between them. That's why I'm doing it. Right in between them. And... I'm gonna - oh. Yes, there you go. And this is each creature within the Burst. So first of all, first and foremost, we're gonna go to Dire Boar 1. You can actually target them both if it's okay. That'll miss. That's okay. More dramatic. Here we go. Here we go to the second one. Scorching Burst. Dire Boar 2. Boom! That'll hit. That's a hit. That's a hit. About time. You gotta target, too. Yep. Yeah, okay. Good. So, ladies and gentlemen, that is the first hit from Draconis. 8 damage. 8 damage.

Boom! I'm on the board, guys. I'm on the board. Strong open. Strong open. Strong open! Everybody wondering, "Hey, Draconis, has it dealt any damage?" Guess what? Boom! There it is. Well, technically your body did damage when it was flicked into something. That's true. That is true. Uh, Sonya? Well, first thing she's gonna do is get away from the crazy person sitting next to her. The one wielding fire and flicking that around? Yes. Okay. She does not feel safe. She needs to be in a safe space. Um, and then I guess I will do... I can do the same old thing, Thundering Armor, and it pushes away from Doran.

Uh, yeah, I'll do that. Okay. Wand out. A swirling green energy wraps itself around Doran. And he gets bonuses first. Bonus to his armor. And now I'm gonna attack the boar. It's gonna push out from him. Oh, god, that'll hit. Almost a crit! And then it's gonna do damage. 12 damage to the boar. And it's pushed one away. And then she'll hit his Doran with an five. Doran with an five. Nope, I can't. I was gonna heal him, but I moved too far away from Jhikonas. Oh. Kava? Yeah, I was supposed to say that's the end. That's it. Okay, I figured. Kava, your turn. Kava is so frustrated right now.

I think that's something shared by some members of the party. On the road for days, all she's doing is killing things. And she wants to get paid. So she's gonna want this to be over as soon as possible. So she is gonna walk right up to Direborn number one. Target him. I'm marking him. And I'm gonna pop off a daily crashing assault. Oh, come on. That's gonna miss. I still do half damage. Okay. And I push the target one square. You're just bullying this boar. I'm basically like, "Get the fuck out of here, man." Get out of here, boar. Can't you see we don't love you anymore?

Oh boy. So, okay. That is going to push the boar back. As a result of being bloodied. Ooh, it hit a tree. It bumped into Jhikonas. Yeah. It is going to charge forward and attack the nearest person, which would be Kaba. It's charged forward. It gets negative two because... It gets a negative two. So let's take that off right there. Boom. And it is going to attack 21. That'll still hit. So 18 damage plus five because Rabid Charger. No, sorry. Not Rabid Charger. Oh, Furious Charge. That's what it is. So five extra damage to Kaba. And Kaba's going to be knocked back two squares and prone.

I'm getting too old for this shit. Was there anything else Kaba was doing on her turn? Um... I mean, I guess not. I will say that the negative two for Direbore 1 is now gone because he hit me. Okay. So Direbore 2 is also going to use Furious Charge and attack Cassie and try to gore and miss with heart. Yeah, shields up. Yeah. Cassie, your rebuttal. Uh... I practiced this last night in front of the mirror, so it's good that there's an audience. Um... Let's see. No, I can't do that thing. Uh... that requires an ally nearby. I'm just gonna slap it. Okay. This will be an at will power and it is...

Yeah, that one. Okay. I love being able to attack will defense. It's so great. Cassie's going to do Intuitive Strike. Um... And we'll see if it hits and if it hits, I'll tell you what it does. Okay. Uh... and she's going to be standing right there, doesn't need to move or maneuver. So, swing. I'm done. We're not going home. Um... She... Uh... anyone bloodied? No. You can kill a boar. No, okay. No, no, no. That's okay. Um... You know what? Cava has the orangiest little dot down there. So Cava is going to get an inspiring word. And Cassie says something to the effect of...

Uh... Uh... She makes a raspberry noise and... Super inspiring. Um... She says, uh... Come on Cava, get back on your feet. You can't let that thing keep you down. And she will... so again, this power doesn't have a widget for some reason. So D6 plus three and you'll get your healing surge value plus that. Okay, let's see what you got. I really await the day we eventually get Cassie just breaking mentally. Boom. So, that almost fully heals Cava. Woo! That's what I do. Nice. Okay, I'm done. Okay, that'll bring up Doran. Alright, um... Yeah, I'm more of a melee so... Just move up another one here.

It's still not... It's probably not the greatest idea in the world. But... Yeah, I will do Jarring Smash again. Well, that'll hit. 22. And damage... 14. 14 damage to the Dire Boar. Anything else? Um... If I have to do Defender Aura again... Oh, it lasts until I end it so I guess I still have Defender Aura. Cool. Yep. Dire Boar number one! Dire Boar number one is just gonna try and flat out gore. Just gonna try and gore. Feel free to low roll. Oh, I did. There you go. See, no one's ever just tried asking that. And that's the thing. That's what I was doing wrong. Yeah, no one's just ever asked nicely.

That's a two. So that's gonna so miss. I picture the boar just like right up against you. Just trying to swing its head and drive one of these tusks into your neck or something like that. And just furiously missing. Um... Draconis. Here we go. Your turn. Alright, Draconis is gonna hold the Rod of Wonder up above his head. Glad it was away. And look right at Dire Boar number two. And say, "Cassie, don't worry. I'm gonna kill this motherfucker." And then instantly crumble down to his knees, coughing up a huge amount of blood. A huge puddle starts forming down at the bottom of his feet.

And he's gonna double over, holding his stomach. And that's gonna end my turn. Don't worry. I'll field those emails, Jake. I'll take care of those for you. You guys had to remind me. I mean, you know. Yeah, I know. Sonia, your turn. Okay. So, Sonia just saw like... This is a fun game. Sonia just saw like the strongest person she knows, Kava, get knocked over and she's still on the ground. So she's gonna use it daily. Oh. Yeah. It's called War Weaver's Tether. What's gonna happen is... Sonia's gonna shoot a crossbow, but it's gonna get really close to Doran. And as the crossbow is shooting towards the boar, it's like this translucent gold rope.

Like magical rope is attached to the thing and then it wraps itself around Doran. And then disappears as soon as it wraps around him. Hmm. I can use that later. Basically, I'm tethered to him now and now I can teleport next to him whenever. Hmm. Just in case you want to get real close to the boar. Yes. But I'm doing this more so for the damage. Let's see, hopefully it works. Yes. That'll hit. Yep. Okay. And then damage. Oh wow, that'll kill the boar. 12 damage, that'll kill the boar. Let's get rid of that boar, guys. Boom. One more, guys. Oh, and then she's going to use her move action, which is War Weaver's Tether.

You teleport to an occupied square adjacent to the ally. She's going to go here and then pour one of her curative potions on Cava. That's why she wanted to do that. Ah. And she gave healing plus two, or healing surge plus two. Oh, Cava's flat out healed up then. Okay. She's going to, like, even if someone else healed her first, she's like, "Cava's her buddy." Okay. Aw. Cava. Alright, so Cava's going to stand up, pissed off. She'll look over not at Sonya and just step. Oh, I can't move. I can shift though, right? You can, well, I mean, that's a movement action.

You can pop an action point if you want. Just to move. I mean, I guess I got to. I got to do it. Otherwise, my turn's over. So, I'm moving. Just the infinite rage of being five feet away from the thing. Right? Like, how frustrating is that? Okay, and she's going to try Kneebreaker. Okay, that's another daily. It is. She just wants to get out of here. Okay. Hey, that'll hit. Yeah. Yay. Jesus Christ. Whoa. That'll bloody the boar. That's a lot of damage. As a result of being bloodied, boar is going to stop looking at Cassie, start looking at Cava, and try to gore. It is slow.

I don't know if that's... Well, it's standing right next to you. It can't charge me. No, it can't charge you, but it is standing, and it's going to miss anyway. Awesome. Anything else? I know. That would be it. Good lord. That'll bring up the boar. The boar is going to continue to try and gore Cava. So let's try that one more time. That'll hit. 14 damage to Cava. And that'll end the boar's turn. That'll bring up Cassie. Okay. You ready, Cava? Just like before. I'll open him up. You shut him down. Nod. Okay. Hammer and anvil. Let's do it. That's a crit! That's a crit! Okay, and then I shift-click the damage.

Yep. Guys, that'll kill the boar! Nice. Oh, I did it this time. And that will take you out of combat. Well, that wasn't nearly as hard as we thought it would be. Me? So, um, there's a couple... Okay, first of all, there's Draconis to deal with. There's also your horses. I would imagine you're going to try and heal them up and take care of them. Yes. Yeah, because again, not dead. It wasn't a mortal wound or anything. They were definitely in pain. Yeah, Cassie will go crouch now next to Draconis and be like, "Are you alright? Oh my gosh, that's a lot of blood!" Can I try to talk and accidentally just like...

Well, I mean, I'm just going to cough up blood right into her face. Good God! Oh, gross. Oh, Jesus. We're talking a lot of blood here. Can I ask, is there a likeable thing about Draconis? Just one. Sure there is. Okay. He's good at chewing stuff. He's powerful. He is powerful. You've seen those scorching bursts that he pulled out. Yes. Misfight. Okay. Eight fucking damage, man. I ate a whole eight damage. I'm just... Okay, we're entering into Ironhide territory. It's like, why do people hang out with you? Like, we're dangerously... We're just... So, see, Cassie doesn't interpret that as being on purpose, so she like wipes her face off.

And she's in like full on nurse mode. She's like, "Okay, okay, lay down on her back and tilt your head to the side. We need to get this out of you. We don't want you to drown on this. We don't want you to... Here, lay down. Come on." Can I throw something out there? Sure. I don't know, because I have a really bad memory since we only play sporadically. But didn't Draconis have like a secret stash in the nipple? Mm-hmm. But it was secret. Like, none of us knew about it. I didn't remember if somebody knew or nobody knew. It's his... I don't believe anybody knew.

I think it was his thing. Like, it was his business. His thing. Yeah. Draconis, do me a favor. Roll an endurance check for me. I'm sorry. Jamie? Oh, yeah. I was gonna say, is it drugs or is it secret grapes? Secret grapes. Because I thought it was secret grapes, but like I said, I'm unsure. So, do you want me to roll the endurance? I do. Also, was it drugs or grapes? Uh, it was bloodroot. Okay. It was the last remaining bit of bloodroot. Yeah. All right. And there's the roll. A total of nine. Total of nine. Okay, that's not great. I would say with that, you're gonna stop coughing up blood, but you are definitely in some...

You're hurting. Obviously, you're fucking coughing up blood, but you're not... It's gonna be very apparent to the group that you're not doing well. Okay. Can I make an assumption? Cobb and I are familiar with withdrawal symptoms being from a nasty part of Brightport. Oh, yeah. This would not be... Okay, look. I think even Cassie would piece this together eventually. Like, Cassie is the most innocent, obviously, hands down, of the group. But holy lord. Like, Draconis is a classic drug addict. He exhibits all of the signs. Every one of them. Classic? Classic. Textbook.

Cassie, in her current cover, works with orphans, so she's seen people in unfortunate situations. So, yeah. She could probably get there. Well, Sonya will walk by and be like, "Where are you hiding them? Are they on you or in the nipple?" If he's coherent enough to talk. Correct, yes. Can I... I would say you're just in pain. You're not unconscious. Alright, so obviously I'm in pain and I just want to look up and just... Well, because I'm obviously still on the ground. And, uh... Can I trust you? Are you kidding? And she like tilts his head a little more and she says, "Look at what just came out of you!" "You need to talk and trust!" Draconis is gonna slam his left fist down the mat.

What am I talking about? The ground and then point towards the nipple with his hand and just point straight forward at the bone laying in front of the nipple. Oh, god. Seriously, the fall of Cassie's sanity is gonna be the best thing. It'll take longer than you think. She's resolved, man. Poor Cassie. Yeah. So Draconis points to his bone that he's been gnawing on. Sonya grabs the bone. This? Draconis is gonna... He's gonna just fucking start slamming the ground beside him. Not seeing anything, just slamming. She'll bring the bone over and like hold it out to him?

This doesn't look like drugs. Draconis is gonna grab the bone and with both hands he's gonna just break it in half. And just a nice little baggie of... A nice little baggie of crushed up bloodroot falls down beside him. Sonya's gonna back away, 'cause she's seen this before. Alright, Draconis is gonna... Let's see. I don't have a... While he's doing this, Doran's just gonna look at the rest of the party and just... Basically he's just gonna say, "Can you blame what I've done to him now?" Draconis is gonna look at the party and say, "I need some help." What do you need?

I need something flat. Give me something flat. I don't care. Does anybody have anything flat? Cassie lays her shield down in front of him. Oh my God! I knew it was coming and I wanted to stop it in my heart. Me too! Oh my God, oh my God. Draconis is gonna roll over onto his stomach and crawl up to the shield and... Empty the contents of the little baggie onto the shield. Like he's at a fucking girl slumber party? Like is his feet kicking behind him? And Draconis is gonna bury his face down into the crushed up blood root and... Snort away. Oh boy. Well, we've been on an emotional ride today, haven't we everybody?

Okay, so one, that is the last of Draconis' blood root. Yep. Guys, we have a system in place for just such an occasion. Oh God. This is gonna continue looking at the rest of the party. Good Lord. Draconis, do me a favor. Yep. Roll a flat D20 for me, please. Alright, you got it. Here we go. Now, on this side, there is a table. You ready for me to roll it? I am. Go ahead. There it is. Nine. Okay. Nine. So, on this side, there's a table. There is a bunch of sort of random effects that this can happen on. Now, the first thing, this is non-negotiable. Draconis is going to, I don't want to use the term freak out, but there is a very hyped up, there's an amped up kind of feeling that comes with it.

Just fucking let's do this. Kind of like meth. Now... With a nine... Jesus Christ. Okay. There is a surge that is going to flow through Draconis. Like, he is in touch with everything. Like, he feels like he is in touch with everything in Theria. Like, he is connected to everything. And thus, he is drawing power from everything. Every rock, every tree, every animal, all of you, everything. Draconis is going to feel like he is a god. Like, he could just, he could lift heaven and earth and just bench press the moon. Like, just as a result of that, Draconis could cast three dailies in rapid succession.

If he so chose. If he chose. If he so chose. Why? I'm so far away. Do you ever see, okay, do you ever see Holy Grail? Do you ever see Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Yeah. Do you remember Tim the Enchanter where he is just standing and just like, bam. Just blowing things up for no discernable reason. That's me. That's what you're saying right now. That's me. That is, that could be. I'm not saying that you are obligated to in any way, shape, or form. I am just saying that that's like, that just sort of a raw power. Just like you feel it. All right. You're hulking up.

Okay. All right. Uh, Draconis is going to jump straight up to his feet. Oh my god. All right, Draconis is going to look down at Cassie. She's just kind of looking up at him stunned. I'm so scared. Draconis is going to like literally start shaking. Like I'm talking like I'm talking violently shaking. And he's just going to look down at Cassie and just yell like as loud as possibly he can right down at her. She reflexively whips her shield up to like take cover. Are you yelling a thing or just screaming? Oh well, I was about to yell it. I was about to yell it.

Oh, okay. But I'm just, that's what's happening. I'm yelling it as loud as possible. Let's get to Astrholt now. Can I like rip her up onto my shoulder and like take off charging towards the nipple? Okay. Firstly, that depends on Cassie. Does Cassie want to be picked up? No, but I think she's too startled to mount a resistance before it happens. It's more of a like, it's like she's busy taking cover so she has the shield in front of her eyes. She can't see what he's about to do. And then all of a sudden she's just off her feet. Okay. The rest of the group, what would the reaction be?

Um. Stunned? As Draconis is bounding along with her, she is saying, maybe you should jog alongside the carriage for a while. I think Cabba would just look at Doran and Sonya, shrug and then start to follow Draconis. Okay. Mounting back up. Okay. Is this a thing where Draconis is just like following along with the, just kind of a rocky montage job thing? Or is there a way hanging out of the nipple just like twitching? I would like to assist the horses in this journey and push the back of the nipple to give them a little extra help. Wow. Okay. Is he still carrying Cassie?

No. No. He's strapped her to his back. Let's go. Wow. Okay. I'm out of words. Hold on a second. Wow. Okay. So. Let's say hours go by. Eventually Draconis is going to come down from this. And you guys are going to make it to Estragonis. Now, if memory serves. Firstly, it's the 17th of Thorim. I'm, I'm, I just, I have, well, it's the 17th of Thorim. It is daytime. Now, my, my understanding was you wanted to do some research into Joost. Yes. Now, are you going to do this by speaking to him or are you doing, are you going to... That seems like a bad way to go about it. Like...

Inspire him? Can we go by the constable or whatever and like, be like, Hey, does this guy have a criminal record? Is he clean? Is he... You know what? Let's have Cassie do a little streetwise check. Let's, let's, let's... She's got charisma, but... Where's someone else in the party? Uh, she can try it. Let's do it. I'm not, I'm not going to do that. I'm, um... Believe it or not. Before, um, before she goes off to do that, when we get back to Esther Holt and, uh, is Draconis like way more down from what he was? I would say, yeah, after hours. Yeah. Before she, she kind of tells the rest of the party, she's about to go off and do her thing and she'll try to be quick about it.

So it doesn't take too much time, but she goes up to Draconis and she says, Draconis, look at me. Draconis, he's still, I mean, still, he's a little down, but he's still wide-eyed. Still wide-eyed. Okay. Is he looking at me? Yeah, yeah, looking down, yeah, looking down at you. We're going to fix this. This is not how you are for the rest of your life. We're going to fix it, okay? Can I, uh, like, are we, where are we at, like, located right now? Are we... Let's say the outskirts of the city, like you're, you're, you're kind of past the front gates and stuff.

So we're inside the city, like walking? Yeah. Okay, gotcha. Okay, uh, Draconis is going to kneel down to Cassie's level here and, uh, lean in and say, I thought you didn't have a guy. Oh, God. I beg your pardon? I believe, and this is, I believe the way he is interpreting you going off on your own is you going to either score drugs or you telling him, it's like, oh, don't worry, we're going to score you all the drugs you need. So you don't have to be like that anymore. I could be wrong. At, at, at that? Like, she just like kind of the sad eyebrows go up again and she just puts her head in her hands and she goes, I'm going to help you someday, but just go get some rest, okay?

You got it. And I'm going to like stand back up and, uh, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna take off. I'm feeling pretty damn good right now. Feeling pretty damn good. And she just kind of like watches, watches him go like with sadness in her eyes. Okay, now streetwise? Yep, give me that streetwise. Oh. Okay, that's... That's 10. So let's, okay, I would say Cassie asks around. I don't think that she would settle for one person. So kind of getting the lay of the land here. Joost is an individual in Esterholt that owns a couple of high class shops, like high end weapons armor, things like that.

And one that sells trinkets, almost a pawn shop type thing. But in Esterholt, there are a lot of upper crust shops. So there's stuff that, like, I mean, even just purely decorative things like weapons coated in gold, things like that. Completely decorative, useless, but they're eye catching. Now, while he doesn't have a criminal record, he's been known to be a shrewd businessman, you know, kind of taking items that are worth a lot of money that people don't know are worth a lot of money, turning around and selling them for triple, quadruple what they're worth, that type of thing.

So it makes absolute sense why he would want the Bella Fegna, because it is a one of a kind item, and he has someone lined up to buy it. So again, not, I would definitely not, from what Cassie could glean, definitely not like evil, just, you know. Pragmatic. Yeah. Okay. With that information, Cassie will return to the party and gather everybody up. And she says, "Well, I wasn't able to learn much, but it doesn't seem like anyone knows anything wrong with him. And I can't ask all of you guys to wait on this just because I'm feeling cautious. So thanks for giving me time to look into it.

Let's go turn it in, I guess." And this is everybody here, right? Yeah. All of us? Okay. Alright, Draconis is gonna step forward. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. We just talked about this, okay? On the way here. Are you sure this is the best we can get for this little bell thingy? It is. I mean, I don't know what he's gonna do with it or if he's thinking of selling it to anybody, but this is the way to be paid. What did you find out? I mean, this guy, what does he do? I mean, is he gonna do something crazy with it? What's going on here? Well, he's a retailer, so he's probably just gonna resell it.

Did you get anything? Who's he reselling? Did you get anything at all? No, like out of his store. Like, he'll buy it in from us and mark it up and then sell it to someone who's willing to pay for it. Hmm. I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah, at this point, I'm just gonna, just, I'm, Dorian's just gonna say, let's just get this done. This has been too much work already. We'll get it sold. I mean, get it back to him. Like, it's not a small amount of money he said he'd give us. It's actually gonna last us quite a while. Depending on how some fraction of us spend it. [Laughter] Listen, guys, hey, I'm with the group here.

I'm all in with you guys, okay? If you guys wanna turn it in, we'll turn it in. So, there is a gentleman named Stefan who will be dealing with you today. And he has been, he's a little snooty, as everyone in Yoast's shops, Yoast included. Little snooty. Can I help you? That type of, that type of, like, talking down his nose at you just instantly. Because what he would assess you to be is like, oh, poor people. What are you doing here? Like, that type of thing. Just kind of, you know. I'm just gonna say, Kava, show it to him. She'll look at Draconis like, what a fucking idiot.

And just say. [Laughter] And she'll, what was his name again? Stefan. Stefan, thank you. The hottest new club in New York called Bloodroot. [Laughter] I can find everything there. Okay, she'll just say, we're here to see Yoast. And he's gonna start to put two and two together. Oh, you're the party he sent out. One moment. And he's going to usher you to, like, the back room. Just like, oh, this way, this way. I'm gonna lean into Dorn and say, you know what, I kind of like this guy. Dorn's just gonna ignore him. At this point, it's, that's better. I'm afraid Yoast is out for the day, but I assure you, I can handle everything right here.

You have the item, I'm assuming. We do. And he's got, there's gonna be sort of an expected look like, and... You have the gold? Of course, I have the gold. And he is going to sort of, like, motion back, so he's gonna take you into a back room and there's going to be sort of a lockbox type thing behind him. And he's gonna motion to that, but not unlock it or anything just yet. Kopp is gonna hold out her hand. He is going to look at you like you just farted in the small room. And he is... How about I unlock the box and get your gold prepared, and you take the item out and place it on this shelf in front of us.

That way, either one of us is overextended. Does that sound fair? I'm sensing there's not a lot of trust here. Of course that's not the case. It's, um... Well, we've had problems before, you understand. I do, I do. I mean, if there's a problem, we can definitely find a different buyer. And she'll, like, almost fake out, like, almost about to turn. Right. Do me a favor, roll a bluff check. Okay. Oh, man. Oh, that was so close to being funny, man. That so was! It was, like, right there. Doren's just gonna bury his face in his hands. Cassie does the same thing, yeah.

That was so close to being magnificent, though. It was so close, man. They, like, teetered on that toy. His... I don't think there's any need for that. But his voice is saying, "Fuck you, you don't have another buyer." Allow me to get your gold ready, and you lot can be on your way to... The bar, I'm guessing. She's gonna smile like she's triumphant. [laughter] And she'll carefully pull out the bell with a piece of cloth or something. But she's not gonna set it down. She's gonna be holding it in her hands. Right. He will get your gold prepared. And he is going to set it in a sack.

Just gonna sit it on the shelf in front of you. And then he's going to sort of motion for the bell. His hands are just kind of antsy, just like, "Oh, I can't wait to see this. Please." She'll look down at the bell and back up at him. And then down at the bell again. And she'll sort of motion to Sonya to go over to the gold as she's slowly handing it to him. He's gonna give sort of an eye roll, like, "Yeah, you gotta worry about me ripping you off." Like, kind of, like, yeah. I'm a professional, dammit. I know, I know. So if you set the bell down, he's gonna let the gold go.

He doesn't care about the gold. But he is going to start inspecting this bell. It's just... Oh, this is magnificent. And it's almost absentmindedly, like, he doesn't care. But it's like, "I trust you had no trouble finding the object. It's still looking at the bell, not you." Kava is fixated on the gold right now, so she's not gonna answer. She's, like, counting it and, like, feeling it in her hands, like, "Can't wait to go gamble all this away." Oh, God. I joined the wrong party, man. Yeah. Maybe you'll really... Maybe you will rehabilitate everyone. All of them.

One by one. Cassie pipes up when Kava doesn't speak up and says, "Oh, well, we all made it in any way." Just be glad that you have people willing to do this sort of thing, talented and can work other jobs for more money in the future. So Stefan is going to be very intently looking at the bell, kind of turning it over, and he's gonna go, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh." But you get the distinct impression that he would continue to do that even if no one were speaking. And he's gonna snap out of it. Oh, yes. Other jobs. I will pass this on to Joost. You have done an exceptional job here.

If I may be blatantly honest, I didn't expect you to come back. Wait, wait, wait to prove me wrong, though. Yeah, you're a real peach. I'm gonna take my gold and leave for you to do whatever you're gonna do with that bell that will require you to sanitize it afterward. And Cassie just starts gathering up her gold and gets ready to leave, because this is like this whole... This dude has been the most phenomenal disappointment of a human being. And I travel with Draconis. Cassie's got some sass. She's gonna get her own spinoff. I'm Cassie Drake. Welcome to Adventure Nightmares.

Oh my gosh. Adventure Rehab. Adventure Rehab. Guys, I feel like that's a pretty good time for us to stop for the day. Okay. So congratulations. You made it back. You got paid. And there's only a couple of little bumps in the road. Yeah. Nobody died, so we're good. Yeah. This totally won't come back to bite us later. Never. That doesn't know. That doesn't happen. You do your research. The phong guy seems legit. He seems legit. I'm worried that he doesn't even work for Yoast. It's possible. Not our problem, man. Not our problem. That's the one thing I was waiting for someone to check up on, but no one did, so it's okay.

Whatever. This isn't my Insight character. Nope. I didn't see it. It was one of Yoast's stores, though, right? Yes, it was one of Yoast's stores. I was thinking that, too. I was like, "Do we know he works for him?" We got the gold. Right. He seems more interested in it. We did all this work looking into Yoast, and then we're like, "Oh, here's another guy. Let's go with him." Well, at the very least, he had keys to Yoast's store, so... Sure, yeah. And we got paid. Yeah, you did. No, just picturing us walking out of the building and the camera pans down to a closet and you see Yoast's dead body stuffed in there.

That's exactly what it was like. What? I thought that place smelled funny. Yeah. Oh my god, they're lizard people. Well, congrats, guys, and thanks for sitting down today. Yeah. Yeah, have fun with the session. I can't wait to kill Dragon next time. Good stuff, guys. Oh my god. I'm going to go ahead and let you guys go. Thank you very much. I'm going to go ahead and save this recording. And I should... it should be up next Monday, actually, because it's $1.99. We're out of sessions. That's it. Oh, you're rolling on that. Nice. Yeah. There we go. Yeah, cool, man. Yep, yep, yep.

All right, guys, I will talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Hey, everybody. We really hope you enjoyed today's show. We're getting ready for 200. So next week we're doing a live spectacular GMT 100. It's our 100th episode of GMT. The last one is going to be on the DNR feed and we're going to be live. That's going to be Friday, March 3rd on Twitch at 8 p.m. Eastern. We're going to have a lot of fun, hang out with the... hang out with you guys and the cast and whoever else shows up. And that's going to go on the feed for Monday in case you can't show up live. Episode 200 is going to be on March 13th.

And that'll probably go up really late at night on March 12th. We really hope you guys enjoy it and hope you enjoyed all the show changes. You can go to patreon.com/dandr to help support us and get a whole bunch of brand new content starting in March. Thank you guys so much and we'll see you next week.