Signed in Blood

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[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Hey folks, this is Brian Cookie Cook, the voice of Rickus from Group 2. And I just want to personally thank you for downloading and listening to this new episode of the DNR Podcast. If you're looking for a way to support us in what we do in a non-monetary way, please go over to iTunes and rate us. Every little rating bumps us up in the rankings.

The ratings and the search results and provides us with a better chance to reach more listeners. So we would really appreciate it if you could just go over to iTunes before, after or during this episode and rate us on iTunes. Um, so thank you again for downloading and listening and I hope you enjoy the show. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dungeons of Randomness. I'm Jason Massey. I am the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, we got Jake! Hey, I'm Jake. I play Draconis, Dragonborn, Fire Mage. Uh... I'm ready. Sure. [laughter] You gotta rub blankets on mics. [laughter] Dan!

Hi, my name's Dan Phelps. I play Rodswell Joy Batam, Human War Priest. Um, let's do this, I guess. Jake missed it last time, so... Oh, shit. Tom. Oh, I'm sorry. Hi, I'm Tom. I play Yanward Firestomp, I'm a Med-Sar fighter. Uh, Justin. Go Steelers, Justin. Yeah, go Steelers. Uh, my name is Justin and I play Jarek Ironhide, Warford Sword Mage. Waa! Uh, Tyler. Uh, I'm Tyler. I play Orl Songsteel, a Human Ranger. Or, Human Scout. Sorry. Uh, and Rob. I'm Robert Weezohan and I am playing Malkus Ribbus. Let's do this. It's Rob and I'm here to say... [laughter] I love 80s rapping, Rob.

Drink Jack Daniels every day. [laughter] Oh no, this is... No, no, no. Take it back. Superman, go reverse around the planet. [laughter] Oh god, okay. I think this episode is going to be as exactly off the rails as it should be. Yeah, I think, yeah, to catch up to where we left off on the last episode. How to catch up. Speaking of which, last time you guys made it to the tiny town of Aubrey, and you were already promised help from the medics and clerics there, so your army will have clerics, so that's awesome. They do have a bit of a problem with vampires though, and you guys agreed to go into the network of caves and kind of drive out the nest of vampires that have been camped out there.

Along the way you ran into a ton of traps and you barely, well, Yenward and Ironhide barely made it over this... Didn't make it over? Well, I mean, you made it through. Let's say through. You survived. You didn't make it over. You survived. You guys are nursing your lava boards. Yes. And this is how we're going to start out this show today, because you guys decided you were going to kick open these doors. You have a perceived jump on the enemy here. You came across the nest of vampires in this room, and you are going to kick open these double wooden doors and run in guns blazing.

Now, here's the thing with Ironhide. Unlike Yenward, Yenward was seared and burned and he's in bad shape. He used healing surges and everything, but yeah, he's got some burns and such. Ironhide cannonballed into this lava. He was totally submerged at one point. Pretty awesome. So here's what we're going to do. The lava has now dried. We're going to increase Ironhide's AC by one. But he's also slowed. So he's like a molten rock man? Yes. That's cool. He's like that thing from Fantastic Four. The thing, yes. That thing, you know that thing from Fantastic Four? Don't worry, Ironhide.

We'll find you the Allspark and get you back to normal. That's racist. So if anyone wants to -- here's the thing. If Ironhide maybe gets struck with a hammer or something blunt, that'll chip enough away that he'll return to normal. But until then, you're going to be a little tougher but a lot slower. Awesome. That sound fair? Yeah. I mean, we're doing it, but it doesn't really matter. You don't have to say anything, but I'd just like to hear what you think. I do want to gauge your opinion. I value it. I just want to know that you're suffering. You're going to get fucked up in this fight.

There's vampires and you have juicy blood inside you, son. Oh, man. So those of you listening at home who happen to visit dnrpodcast.com and read the articles and such, this is going to be one of those things that if you read Living in Theria this week, you have a pretty good inkling of what's about to happen. Those of you who haven't, you'll pick it up pretty quickly. Which is everybody in this group. This is a test to see who's listening. It's finals week. I looked at the picture and it looked pretty graphic, so I didn't click on it. Listen to group two.

Isn't that enough? No, no, no. This isn't punishment. Here's the idea. I read the article and I know what's going to happen. This was going to happen regardless. This was just, yeah. There's a guy in here just flexing. He's waiting. All right, so here's what we're going to do. You guys are getting a surprise round. You're busting in on these vamps. You're going in guns blazing. You are ready to go. So what I'd like everyone to do is give me a little initiative roll. Wait, is everybody lined up the way they want to be right now? Well, that's the way you were when you said you were going to do it.

But yeah, you're still in your surprise round, so if you want to change the lineup a little bit, go ahead. I'm satisfied, Wariam. Let's run away, you guys. I'll line up right there. Everyone good? I think so. All right, so those of you who can't see at home, Malkus and Thoril are right by the double doors. Right behind them is Draconis. Right behind that is Yenward. And then right behind that is Ironhide and Rodswell. So we're also going to make a more poignant effort to announce distances between things because we have a nasty habit of saying, "I'm going to go here and I'm going to do this there." Because people at home have no idea how far apart things are.

Makes sense. I love you. Yenward got a 21. Oh, shit, I forgot to roll. Malkus got a 10. That's a natural 20, ladies and gentlemen. Ooh, Tyler got a 30. 14 for Draconis. That was my one good roll, too. 10 for Rodswell, I believe it was. No, wait. 27 for Rodswell. Why'd I get a 9? Because you're limp. Try harder. You're covered in molten lava, that's why. Early 21. Bust open the door, look all badass, and then I'm going to miss my first attack. Justin, you didn't roll yours. Well, just give me a goddamn minute. Details. All right, 21 for-- I'm ignoring most of the things you say. 21!

All the script! Eh, like that. Hey, I rolled a 21. Why do I have an M? Did you roll a 21? You did roll a 21. My bad. I rolled a 21, don't you see? Thank you. So sorry. So I have a question, Jason. I've never encountered this before, but since most of my attacks are radiant damage, what exactly does that do extra to these guys, if anything? Okay, so, uh, monsters that have a vulnerable to radiant-- like, if you have a resistance to, say, um, who here has a resistance to something? Fire, like, we know-- Yeah, Malkus. Yeah, Malkus has a resistance to fire, so whatever the resistance is, I think yours is a 9 for Malkus?

Right, so whatever the damage would be, let's say it's 20 fire damage, you take 9 away. With a vulnerability, it's the exact opposite. If you have a vulnerability 10 to radiant, whatever damage you're doing radiant, they're taking an extra 10 damage. Okay. You're gonna be doing some crazy damage in this fight, no matter what. Now, the Orb of Light is a complication most of the time. It's constantly whispering in your ear, it's putting images in your head, that kind of thing. But it does do some crazy damage and affords you some opportunities you normally wouldn't have.

Like, Rotswell doesn't have a turn on dead power normally. Did you know that? Yeah. You do with the Orb, though. Ooh. Like, the Orb affords you, like, if you look under your powers, you encounter, yeah, you can use turn on dead. So that's a nice little encounter power. On top of that, you can also make an attack, this is a daily, you can make an attack against undead creatures within 10 squares using wisdom. Where are those? It's under the Orb of Light itself. Gotcha, okay. Yeah. All right, so we have our order. It's gonna be Thoril, then Rotswell, then Jarek, then Yenward, then Draconis, then Malkus.

So go ahead, what do you want to do? Then Malkus. All right, so we're bursting open the door. I like how you're the first one diving into a room full of vampires, this is gonna be good. Yeah. Okay, I gotta check one of my moves real quick, 'cause I'm thinking about just doing a ranged attack against the vampire lord. He's calling in his arrow. You're blocking the door. He's calling in his arrow. His one arrow? Shit. No, I bought a pack, I bought a pack. You did, you did, you bought 30. Congratulations. Time to break this bad boy out. So I'm guessing the door's burst open, and I'm going to try a ranged basic attack on the vampire lord.

Okay. Okay. Okay, so you have kicked this door open, so just, where the door handle was it's just splinters now, you kick this thing open, doors run wide, and you're making an attack against the vampire lord. Um, actually, since I'm close enough, I'm gonna run up, this is not gonna be good for me, I'm going to run up six spaces to number one. Can we all scream as we kick the door open and like, maybe make him more scared or something like that? Oh, 'cause that's not a surprise attack then. Well, I mean, it's like, "TRAH!" Yeah, I mean, I picture you guys all running through this door anyway, you can say whatever you want as you're coming in.

You're gonna scream my baby. So, you kick this door open, and most of the vampires in the room just kind of stop whatever they're doing, like, "HAH!" and they turn towards the door. So you've caught most of them off guard, the only one that doesn't seem to be surprised is the man in the center of the room who is just kind of staring at the door. So, go ahead Thoril, you've run up to Youngveig. I run up to one, and good ol' Milly, basic attack, d20+15, 21. 21 will miss. Nice. Uhhhh... There's no offense. Now you're a vampire. *laughter* He hit really hard, it's not a bad thing.

And you've been bitten. And Thoril's down. Um, no. Um, so yeah, that'll be it for that. Wow. You were right. Good job. Is there anything else you wanted to do on your tank run? Cuz there's, there's, there's like, um, I think there's mine. Look over your shoulder and apologize to your friend. *laughter* Sorry guys, I'm over there. I thought this would've worked out. Um, shit, well never mind. At least not now. We've all been there, it's okay. Wait, wait, I know I have minor actions, and I know that they can help me, and I really need to figure them out better, and use them.

Well you can do that while everyone else is taking action. Yeah, go ahead and do that, yeah. Okay. Uh, Rodswell, what do you plan on doing here? Okay, question, uh, what, what can I do with the holy water? Is that a ranged or is that... Um, so that's a, that's a, that's a thing you can just, like, throw at them if you'd like. So it is like a ranged attack? Yes, yeah. Is it a major action, or? Um, I'm gonna let that be a minor. Nice. Can I coat Stormrender in holy water? *laughter* Ooooh. It's a minor action, you know what? I'll let you do that. I don't care. You know what?

It's only gonna be good for, like, one attack. Like, it's water. It's not really gonna cling to a blade. Yeah. Good thing I bought a lot of them. *laughter* Okay, uh, minor action, I'm gonna throw my holy water over at, uh, uh, cowboy down here. Uh, what's his name now? Cowboy Vampire. Uh, that's the new George Takei, uh, made for sci-fi channel movie. Um, do me a favor, roll a D20+14. Okay. *singing* D20+14 19. Uh, that'll miss. Uh-oh. Shatters the Texas feet. Hey, Tex, what the fuck? So, you whip this at him and it just goes a little wide, but, uh, he looks like he's glad to have dodged it. 'Cause, uh, it's these little vials of, they come in these little decorative vials.

Uh, so they pretty much know what you were there for and what you're doing. Oh, do I get a plus one for being speedy? Um, you're still attacking, right? I mean, I didn't know if that would change the, the... No, no, no, no, that's not, that's not... Okay. That won't help. Okay. Uh, you know what? I, let me, uh, I think I want to use my main action as a, as a move again. 'Cause I don't really have any ranged attacks. I mean, I guess I could use ranged basic attack. It's a D20+6 and it's a 1D8 damage. Don't you need something to throw? I have a crossbow. I'm trying to see where your ranged weapon is.

You have a crossbow, okay. So you're going in there all Van Helsing on them, okay. Yeah, sure. And you guys have 21 mist, so what you can do with a crossbow probably won't be great. Okay, well it's either that or do nothing. I mean, I, you know. Right. You can always dance. You're in there now. I could drop an action point, but I think it's a little too early here to... Van Rodsling. ...start doing that, so, um, we'll do that then. Question. Yeah, it's an ace. For the next turn, can he dip his arrows in holy water? You're really on this holy water kick. You're...

They're vampires! That's true. I mean, you've had two weeks to think about this. I just... Well, I was planning on using poison, but then you... Coat your necks in holy water. There we go. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna douse my fur in holy water. Smell like wet dog. Um, so, okay, that's a crit one. That's gonna miss. Yeah. Sorry, I take out my crossbow and I shoot it straight up in the air. Oh, sorry guys. I started inter-reloading. That first one was a warning shot. I'm here, motherfucker! I just shoot it. Surprise attack! So far, everybody has missed their first attack.

Ironhide? Ironhide, your turn. What do you wanna do? I'm slo- so that means every move is actually, like, two. Two, yes. Two. One. Two. I'm gonna stop right here. There's plenty of room for, um, uh, you guys to get in. You'll have to go zig-zagging. Alright, I'm looking down here, down the, uh, the path in the room to the, uh, vampire that's right in the middle, and I want to inspect him. I'm gonna do a history check. On, okay, on the vampire? Yeah. Okay. It's tight pants. What's in there? 34. That's a crit. Shit. I know everything! You have to read out all of The Last Living in Theria to us right now.

My head explodes because I know all. Okay. Uh, okay, Ironhide recognizes this, this vampire. Like, like, through history books, through, like, he, he knows, he could, he could tell you this guy's life story. Um, this guy's name, uh, is Edward Philippe Theriault. He's over 300 years old. He dates back to, like, Drakh and, like, back when Theriault was split into two countries, essentially. Um, he has been a vampire now for three centuries. He's incredibly crafty. He's lived in this section of Theria for, for that long. He hasn't moved, for whatever reason he has an attachment to this particular town.

It's, it's changed, changed names, changed hands many times, but he's, he's lived here the entire time. Um, he was driven out of the city decades ago, and they've done everything they can to, to keep him and his kind out. Um, he's not normally the, the, the Type Two, uh, he's not really a slaughter-a-hole-village type of guy, though. He's, he's, he's a bit, um, he's a bit more aristocratic. He's a bit, he doesn't like to get his hands dirty with that kind of stuff, for whatever reason. But, yeah, that's... He's like Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Okay. But, I mean, he's, this, this guy is not one to be fucked with, necessarily. Like, he's incredibly powerful. Okay, um, for my main action, I imagine that was my minor? Uh, checks are main actions. Ah, okay, so I guess I'm staying put. I can't move anywhere else. Uh, no, not really. Alright, cool. I just wanted to move out of the way a little bit more. Alright, uh, somebody else is torn. That would be me. Good luck. Coat that axe in holy water. I'm gonna coat myself in holy water. Now, okay, you realize that... This is about to get really sexy really fast.

Well, hold on. You realize that coating yourself in holy water is just gonna do damage to them? That's not like a force field or something, right? You, you, you, you understand that? I will taste really icky to them. Okay, I'm just throwing it away. Is that true? No, not really. Once they get past, like, it'll burn the shit out of them. It's like, it's like touching a hot stove. It'll burn the shit out of them, but they can still do damage to you. Got it. It's like eating pizza before the cheese cooled. They're gonna burn the root of their mouth, but they're still gonna eat.

Can you imagine? Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go and stand next to my buddy Roswell, right? And then as my first attack, I'm gonna do a ranged attack with my thoroughstorm rinder. And... 23. Who are you targeting? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm targeting number 8. Okay, so young vampire spawn number 8. What's that versus? AC or reflex? That is versus AC, sir. That will miss. It will, okay. Then for my minor action, I'd like to throw one of my holy waters at his face. Okay. What do I have on his face? Why do I have this? D20 plus 14. D20 plus what? 14. Okay. That's versus his reflex.

Vampires seem like they would have great reflexes. 22. That will just hit him. Nice. So this tiny, kind of a baby blue looking vial, like it's very crystalline, very nice atching, gets whipped across the room. And this vampire looks mortified, it's moving too quickly for him to have dodged it. He's paying attention to someone else. It shatters all over his neck, chest and everything. And there's a couple of seconds where he's flinching and getting ready for pain and nothing happens. I'm gonna fucking kill Artemis. Artemis! Nothing at all happens? Nothing happens.

Well at least we didn't miss a bunch of them hoping that it did damage and then not have it happen. Like, you've only wasted one action on holy water, right? Very true. Well, two, but one missed. I think it would be best if it missed. Wait, um, okay. So here's a question. I guess this is more a question. Number one, can I run a religion check on the holy water to see if the water isn't holy? Yes. Okay. And secondly, can I make the water holy? You can actually, you can bless water, yeah. It takes a little bit of time though. Like, it would take a few minutes. Like, if you were to do it in combat, it would take like, let's say two rounds.

Okay. It's not really worth doing in combat, but it's totally something you can do outside of combat. I mean, is it something I can do as like a, it's not, so like, is it a major action? It'd be your main. It'd be your main in combat. Okay. I have a question. Yes. Would I still be considered lawfully good by the community if I kill Artemis? Well, we'll deal with that after this, but I imagine you do have a bone to pick with that man. Put my fucking axe through him. Start the conversation with, may I axe you a question, just throw it right at his chest. Just throw a Storm Rider to stay.

Everyone's getting their money back, you guys. Don't worry. Through blood. For everything. Um, so that pretty much wraps it up for Yennward, right? Motherfucker, yeah, wraps everything up for you. Bitch. Wow, this first turn has been horrible. Well, it's your surprise round at least. I know. I don't even knock off anything for pegging him with a glass bottle in the face. You know what? Do a 1d6 damage. Thank you. Yes. Yes, I meant to say that. I'm so sorry. Like he got cut by the glass maybe. Is that what happened? Yeah, throw a flat d6. Okay, you've done three damage to him.

Yes. Eh, he's dead. Alright. You killed all of them. A really impressive shard of glass blanced his heart and he fell down and burst into ashes. I win. I win. Okay, Draconis, go ahead. Alright, it's my turn to fuck these guys up. Let's do this. Yes, it sure is. Uh, fireball. Oh, shit. Right there. That's gonna hit, uh, oh, I'm on a laptop, this sucks. Uh, one more, one more. There we go. That's gonna hit those guys right there. Uh, one, two, and the, uh, what do we call them? Felipe? Felipe? Uh, Edward, yeah. Edward, yes. What's the burst on the fireball? Five? Uh, burst three from, uh, yeah, within 20 squares, which is, that's like, 10 for me, so.

Alright, uh, go ahead and, uh, start with, uh, start with Edward. Edward. Alright. D20 plus 12, this is reflex, 21. Uh, that'll miss. Your second vampire will be reflex. Uh, go with, uh, let's try the young vampire spawn now. Uh, two. Two, here we go, here's two. Uh, that'll hit. 24 hits, yes. Okay. And one. One, 23. 23 will hit. Alright. And this will be half damage too, so Edward will take a little bit. Okay. Cool, cool. Uh, one, two, three, four, there's damage coming, plus seven, 46 plus seven, 18. 18. Very nice. Alright. That's, that's totally respectable, man.

Um, 18 to vampire spawn number one and two, and, uh, nine to Edward. Alright. And that's it. So this is the first thing that this guy has reacted to. You guys charge through the door, he's watching people skitter about and do things, and he's just kind of standing there, arms crossed, looking at the door. And the Draconis kind of sidles up and whips out this massive fireball, and he kind of like whips his cape up, and at the last second, like it does burn him, but it's not nearly as bad as his, uh, as, as the, the, the two younger vampires in front of him.

By the way, these vampires look like they may have just been turned, like they're not, they're not old, like they're, they're, they don't look like they even have a handle on what all of their powers would be, so that's, that's just what you guys would glean from checking them out. You knew a vampire, so. Still wearing the training things? Yeah, you know, they... I knew a guy who was a vampire once. I mean, these guys haven't dyed their hair or anything. Uh, Malchus, your turn. Okay. Painted their fingernails. I'll get rid of this. I'm gonna swagger up to number eight there.

Swagger. And, uh, start out with my Soul Eater attack. Soul Eater. Can someone remind me that I have a lucky charm? Yeah. Nice in my mess. Thank you. 26 AC. Uh, 26 will hit. Hurrah. Okay, and remember, this is, in case it's relevant, this is, um, necrotic damage. Mm. Which may be worse for me, but, honestly, right? Oh, yeah. I appreciate it. 22 AC. Slides the sides. Flitches and nothing happens. He's gonna resist five of that, but he's gonna take, uh, 17? 17, yeah. That works. Totally works. And, uh, I think that's gonna be all for me. Yeah, that's all. Okay. Hey, guess what, Rob?

What? He's bloodied. Oh, he's bloodied! Um, I get, I get something, I think. Um, hold on, hold on. Uh, soul feast. Oh, no, that's when I kill someone. Never mind. I just, I get a bonus to attack now that he's bloodied, but I'm done. Well, guys, that brings us to the end of your surprise round. Uh, so let me go ahead and add these vampires to the initiative. All in all, good effort, gang. The real surprise is how ineffective it was. Yeah. I really expected that to do more. We just ran in there screaming, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." Panty raid! Justin, Justin, Justin, um, Justin said when he was describing, like, how bad an idea this was to attack last week, uh, he said it was akin to you guys, uh, running in as delicious sandwiches.

Like, you are, you're all delicious sandwiches. Like, you kicked down the door like sandwich rebels and, like, you're, you had enough of these assholes and, like, just running around. That time all those hams attacked the pound. Please, we're young and invincible. We got this. Okay. I'm glad I'm not standing in the room yet. Remember that later. No, no, I just, I just, I want to be the dude who talks the most crap about our invulnerability so that if, if Jason's going to do justice to anyone, it's Malchus. Oh no, you're all a group, Malchus. That's, that's, that's all, we're all in this together.

We're all going to pay. You'll all pay. Um, let's see. We all pray for private Pyle's actions. Yeah. A full metal jacket reference. Somebody just got 29. I like that. All right. So here's what we're going to do. Okay. Edward is going to be in the initiative twice. It's not fair. Isn't it? It's not. It's not about being fair. It's about being sexy. Uh, so Thoril, you're going first. Okay. Um, well I guess I will do a melee basic attack once again to number one. All right. 20 plus 15, 33. 33 will hit. Let's see. Where's my damage? Plus 12 and 25 damage. 25 damage. Guess what?

He's dead. Oh, he's dead. Dead. Hell yeah. I do have a question in a minute. What's your deal with this? So I would imagine that just lops his head off and just dust gone. Dude, that's awesome. So they are not invulnerable. Nice. One time, this is your chance. Both of them are. It's not invulnerable to brute force. Why don't you stand back here? Um, you can't really do an off hand because there's nothing to off hand. I, for my minor action, will use my daily oak skin that gives me resistance to damage with my wisdom modifier. So that'll be three damage resistance until the end of the encounter.

Nice. If this skin's made of oak, that should make it a little less biteable too. I don't think that's, I don't think that's a, it's just a fake speech. Yeah. Oh, come on. It's like when Rod Swell technically makes sun, he's not really making sun. It's okay. Uh, and you want to move or anything? Um, hang on, let me, let me just look at one, two, three, four. You know what? Just because I'm gonna, I'm going to take a couple steps back. I'm close enough to get that nearest vampire, but hopefully far enough away to where that, that guy won't be getting me. Gotcha.

Okay. Yes. Young vampire spawn number five. So these guys have a seven in speed. Um, I'm glad I backed up. Vampires guys, you know, vampires. Um, he is going to, uh, he's going to race up next to Malkus and that'll be his, that'll be his turn. Cause it took, uh, took two to get up to him. Uh, Edward's turn. Uh, Edward has a speed of eight guys. Um, okay. He is going to, so he, uh, he has this long sword in a scabbard. Uh, real elegant looking weapon. Not, uh, not, nothing, not a big broad heavy weapon like a lot of people have, but it's this real elegant looking, almost a rapier, not quite.

Uh, so he whips this out, uh, and he's going to use on guard and point it at Thoril. Uh, so you are marked by this guy. Like he is, he is calling you out. All the way. Really now. It's like on the other side of the room. Damn. And, uh, he's going to use his move action to get up to Thoril. Yeah. Uh, and let's use, you know what, let's use a basic long sword attack. Let's open things up. I still wasn't far enough away. God dammit. Should have taken another step. Uh, 23 versus your AC. No. Wow. He's going to miss. All right. Cool. Um, so he swings at you and I imagine you dodge it in some fashion.

Oh yeah. And, uh, young vampire spawn number four right there. And that'll be a vampire fours action. Rodswell. Okay. Um, when something says within four squares, is that like where you would be adjacent to them within four square? Like what, what is it? It's, it's sun's glow. Is that, is that like that much area or is it, I'm sorry, like that much area or is it like four squares? Well, that's a, that's like a burst for, I like four squares would mean like four squares. Like four squares for that. Like you're lighting an area that's four squares. So I'm lighting the area that's four squares.

Well, does it, okay. It says within four squares. That's, I just didn't understand the terminology there. Okay. Hold on. Sun's glow. Yeah. One object or unoptimized. How do I get rid of that? Uh, just right click and hit delete daily. Oh, okay. You're, you're choosing a target and making it, uh, yeah. Okay. So like you're picking a point in the room. Like you have to pick something like that carpet or something like something is going to give off light essentially. And it's going to fill an area four squares in every direction. Okay. But do I have to be like right next to it?

Uh, action, melee one. Yes. Okay. So I have to be right up on that. Okay. Ooh. Good luck. Yeah. I'm worried about getting right up on Edward there. He marked me, so I don't think he's going to worry about you. Oh yeah. Okay. Two, three, four. Okay. Um, first thing we do is, uh, it's a minor action. I'm gonna do sun's glow on him. So, okay. So you're making like an object he's wearing something like that. Sure. His, uh, his, his sword. Yeah. I'm making a sword do it. Okay. Uh, so, okay. This, so it's going to give off this bright, like almost like as if the sun were in the room, but it's an, it's a nice bright.

It's, it's, it's a little brighter than if someone were holding a torch, something like that. Yeah. Um, which annoys this shit out of all of them. It's a, it's all an action where they just like shield their eyes. They're kind of used to being in the dark, but, uh, it's not doing any damage to them. Does it, does it take away like anything like, uh, it's, it's more or less just inconveniencing them slightly. They have to squint, but that's basically it. There's nothing about it that's, it's not radiant damage or anything like that. Right. But it doesn't like slow them or take away one.

It's just a bright light because it's not actual sunlight. It's just, they call it sun's glow because it's like you're, you're a sun priest. That's kind of what you're into. Like everything sun's this radiant glow, that, that kind of thing. But it's not actual sunlight. It's, you know, Superman wouldn't get shit from this. I'm just, just throwing it to you. Okay. So that was pointless. Um, well it's, it's a nice little role play thing. It was a minor action. It was a good experience. No, that was your at will. Okay, hold on. His sword looks minor. Yeah. That's a minor action.

Yeah. So it's minor. It's not a big deal, but his sword looks awesome right now. I'm going to, and you did that. I'm going to say it. If they have to shield their eyes a little bit, that seems like it should be some kind of penalty. Negative 15 to their AC, right? Take one away from their reflex because they have to squint and they can't see something coming. Why would they take away from their reflexes? Because they're squinting and they can't see what's going on. They always think of them more like their aim or something. Because they can't see, they can't dodge.

Yeah, that's true. That's yeah, but at the same time that only happens if he's holding it right up to his face. Justin, are you cheering for the vampires? I'm, I'm, I don't know. All five of you wanted to charge in here, don't bend the roof. I don't think his toaster kid should be telling us how to be different. How fucking dare you. I'd never said I wanted to dive in, by the way. How about this? We'll do this. I'll take one away from the attacks of anyone within that, that bright glow. How about that? Okay. I like that. It just seems like something, you know, I should get.

Okay. I appreciate the outside the box thinking I want to reward that. I'm sorry. If they hold it up to their face, it seems like that's the only like at that same time, if he's swinging, shouldn't somebody get a negative? I'm just I'm not trying to be an asshole. I'm trying to play fair because I don't want to win this. Why would somebody get a negative though? The only people that are bothered by it are the vampires. So but again, it's just light. Yeah. It's like a bright light also. Yeah. I mean, the only thing the only reason I'm putting it like this, this is a dank pit you guys are charging into.

It's pretty dim. Like it's, it's, it's fairly dimly lit. So this is the equivalent of someone flicking the lights on real quick and you go, Oh, and it takes a few seconds to adjust or something. That's, that's what I'm trying to give it to you, but it's not this. I know just like, you know, he's playing devil's advocate, I guess. I feel like he bats for team vampire. That's what I'm saying. Justin did say he doesn't want to win. I'm just, I don't think Justin wants to die. So that's that. Well, I mean, that's kind of why he didn't want to fucking charge in here.

Well then he can go sit in the corner. I know this is a Christian public pass for me. The person doesn't help anything, but. All right. What are you doing for your actual turn? Well, anyway, I'm going to do a brand of the sun against Edward there. Okay. D20 plus 16. I won't give myself one for being speedy since we had that conversation beforehand. Um, that's group two shit. Oh, but I am flanking. So that's extra two. Nah, fuck. 21 motherfucker. Yeah, that'll, that'll, that'll miss. God damn, my role is shit today, except for my fucking initiative role. My initial role was great.

Um, uh, let's see here. Young vampire number six, five, six, seven. Wow. That'll put him right next to Malgus. Um, so all these guys kind of have these, these, uh, like these long ass fingernails. He's these not quite talons, but they're, they're. Those are the most fraudsy fingers. Yeah. You know, the, the, the typical vampire ask long claws and he's going to use those to swing at Skype, Stunt, send me notifications. Thank you. Uh, he's going to use this to swing at Malchus 29 versus anything you own. Uh, yeah, that'll hit. Yeah. Uh, go ahead and process his damage and I'll do a reaction.

Okay. Uh, two D eight plus eight. That's holy shit. That is 21 damage. Well, I really cut into me there. Um, okay. Uh, I will do brought the claws out. These guys aren't like zombies. Are they? I mean, no, no, no, no. Okay. It's, it's, and again, if you read the article, there's a lot of things that have to happen before someone would, you know, but yeah, I'll, I'll explain that if something, let's say someone gets bitten, I'll explain that later. Okay. I will just see you this thing again. I will respond. I can't click the thing. There we go. Um, uh, infernal wrath.

Uh, so D six plus zero. Uh, I, I deal him one fire damage for hitting. Fuck yeah, you do. Oh, commitment. One fire damage. All right. Um, wouldn't it be great if he were a minion right about now? I know, right? Uh, and that'll wrap up his turn. That'll bring up number two. Number two is going to settle up right behind Rod swell. He too is going to use claws. Oh man. So he's going to settle up right behind Rod swell. And that's a, because he has flanking, that's D 20 plus 17, 20 70 erasing. Yep. All right. Uh, two D eight plus eight, 14. All right. And that will end his turn.

Then we get number seven. Uh, he's going to run right up to Rod swell and do the same thing. Uh, he only gets 15 though. Oh my God. Oh shit. Yeah. Two D eight plus eight. Uh, another 21 damage. Uh, that will bloody Rod swell. Uh, iron hide your turn. All right. I will move. He's still not in the room yet. I'm coming guys. Right up here. The doors are right here, right? That's these two blocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're open. All right. Um, cool. I'll end my turn. Seriously. You're here. I'm going to try. What do you think? No, that's ending my turn. Okay. A concert history.

Oh man. Um, yeah. And word your turn. I'm going to turn and throw storm render. Malek is new. I mean iron iron hide. Jerrick. I'm sorry. I like you. You smell like maple syrup. Okay. I'm going to try another one of these range to bait the attacks here. Chucks. I'm like getting anywhere near these guys. I can help it. 32 32. Who are you? A target targeting. I'm going to start over the papers. Oh, um, yeah, that'll totally hit. Totally roll damage, sir. Roll damage. Okay. Uh, 20 damage. Oh, okay. Come up from a minor action. Can I do that again? No, no, no. You can action point.

Yeah. Do an extra point. Does that knock them back or anything? Does that make a move? No, just hit something. Okay. I'm going to try to get a little bit more. Okay. No, it just hits him real hard with an axe. Damn. Pretty cool though. Um, do I do that? So you hit him with this thing and that familiar crackling of thunder kind of echoes throughout this whole chamber. Yeah. He's also marked by me. Just saying. I think that'll be it. I'm going to take a step back. Uh, young vampire number three. He's the iron hide of their group. You know what? I'm going to sit back here by the table.

I'm going to sit down. Oh my God. Um, close down. Like a buffet table. Let me paint a picture for those who can't see at home. Rodswell right now is next to four separate vampires. One of which is Edward. Edward James Olmos. I thought I was a bit in trouble because I had two of them with one of them with Edward. Yeah, so between Malchus and fucking Rodswell. Yeah. Okay. So ever since you kicked down these doors that that orb is just firing like into your head, just constant streams of just murder these things, kill them, kill them, murder like constant stream of that.

Um, which makes it a little hard to concentrate and get done what it's asking you to do. Um, this vampire is going to sidle up next to you. Uh, and he is going to try and wrap his arms around you and grab you. Oh, that's not good. Oh, this is AC, right? Uh, this is, uh, versus reflex. Fuck. Uh, 15. Ah, no. Ha. It's crit one. Okay. Well then he grabs himself and starts making out with himself. He hugged himself. Um, young vampire spawn number eight, the one right next to Malchus. Um, uh, he's going to take a swipe with his claws. Uh, 19. Wow. It's he's okay. That vampire sucks.

Yes. Draconis. All right. First of all, I want to look over at iron hide and I want to yell, what the hell are you doing? Can, can like, I can we like do something while we're, while I'm in combat or is this, um, you can role play. Yeah, sure. All right. And what the hell are you doing? Don't worry. Don't worry about it. If he has the pearl punch, I say that we just throw iron hide back into the lava. All right. Uh, Draconis is going to look extremely frustrated and he is going to cast fountain of flame right where Rod's well is, which does burst one, which does this right.

Oh, okay. I fucked that up. Yep. It's all legit. Yeah. Okay. Two, three, seven. And it's only, it says each enemy, so it's not gonna affect Rod's well here. All right. And D 20 plus 12. Let's start with three and work our way around. All right. Uh, well plus one was a speedy enough for this or was that two? Yes, you're fine. Boom. 29. I'll hit three. Go for two. Two is 19. That'll miss. Uh, go for seven. Seven. 18. That'll miss. Go for Edward. 18. That'll miss. Okay. Now at least this is half damage, so. Okay. Cool. That's at least something. Three D eights plus seven and 27 damage.

Oh shit. Okay. Yes. All right. 27 damage. Oh, that bloodies. Uh, number three and the way is that 23, 27 damage. Is that half or for the rest of them? Half. Yeah. Three, seven and Edward get 14. Good deal. Well, hey, it's best I could do there. Uh. 13. You round down. Oh, okay. That's okay. All right. Um. Uh, number two is bloodied. Man, three's gotta be really close to dying. Uh, and is that, you said that's it for you? Yeah. Yep. Okay. Edward's turn again. I like his second picture. It's like I'm just a guy. Just a dude. Whatever. Sorry. Uh, in the ground where that took place at the beginning of their turn, I believe they take a five fire damage.

Okay. So they just take fire damage here. Yeah. Let me just make sure that's the right one. Fountain of flame. Sounds like it would do that. So it'll be like one of those things where three's like, and he starts his turn and he did it and he's dead. Yep. Any enemy that enters the zone or takes its turn or ends its turn there gets five fire damage. There we go. Uh, Edward's turn. Let's see, he is going to, uh, completely acknowledges that he's just been struck in the back by, uh, by Rodswell. Mm. I thought I missed him. Oh, you'd missed him. I'm sorry. Yeah. But you swung at him, which is, yeah.

Um, he's going to use imperiling strike on a Thorold, uh, which is a D 20 plus 15 versus your AC 23. Nope. Damn. That's a second miss. Huh? Nice. He's kind of weak sauce. Remember you said that, uh, Malchus your turn. Did he take his five damage? He did take his five damage. I'm going to do armor of winter's grasp. I do have a question before we move too far ahead. When I hit someone with my axe and I throw it, do they get marked by it? Yes. Anytime you hit or swing at anything, you mark it basically. Okay. Well, I'll keep that in mind next time. But he was marked by me.

Edward's marked. Yeah. So Rob can barely hear you. Your mic might be away from you. Okay. Uh, how's this? Here we go. Better. Okay. Uh, I'm going to use armor of winter's grasp. This attacks everything around me. Um, and then the first tech will be against vampire number eight, add plus one to that total cause uh, he's bloody bloody. Yep. Uh, and plus one for speed. That's pretty good. Uh, those are all good sportitude. Uh, let's see here. That hits every one of them. Nice job. Good job. 2d six plus 14 against all of them. Cold damage. Oh shit. 21. All right. Let's, let's run down the list.

Uh, number eight just kind of freezes and then breaks apart. So dead. Nice. Uh, the other two take 21 cold damage and are both bloodied. And I've got a plus two to armor class and fortitude until the end of the encounter. Okay. Let Malek is just as these two vampires pushed against the wall. Oh yeah. We're surrounding him. You said plus two to what armor class and fortitude. Uh, coming back around. We got the world. All right. Well, I'll see if I can finish off for here. Well, I mean, I didn't, I haven't really gotten the hit on him yet, but um, let's see. Melee basic attack against him d 20 plus that and 22, uh, 22 for what?

He's saying, yeah, that'll miss. Oh Jesus Christ. Are you kidding me? Uh, I got other stuff, but I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until the fucking one was okay. Uh, young vampire spawn number five. Whoa, whoa. He says it ends this journey. He, he, he just watched what Malchus did and he's going to try and grab him. Just, just try and restrain him. Um, 33 reflex. Okay. Uh, I will respond with, let's see, I already used infernal rats. Let's use reflex and Pell strike this time. Okay. Um, he's going to grab them and die. Yeah. He attacks me. He doesn't even have to hit me, but he did hit me.

Uh, he takes five plus my charisma modifier, which is ridiculous. He takes 11 fire damage and is pushed four squares. Okay. Right into the wall. This vampire is like a cool as man. This vampire grabs you, wraps his arms around your, like your arms and waist. And you kind of, I just imagine like a super say and flame thing real quick. And he burst into flames and turns into Ash. And then look at the other one and just like, do you want to do you? That's pretty bad ass. Not even going to lie. That's pretty bad ass. Um, that will bring up Edward. Let's change tact.

I have a, you know, I'm gonna let it go. I'm not even going to ask. Well, well, well, ask, ask, ask. Well, cause he gets two turns, but it's still the same to do. Is he still marked until this after this one? Uh, I would imagine it's, hold on a second. What does it say when you're marked? Well, it's really, you have, he's two different squares, but he's still the same guy. Just to the original place in his thing. So like for his original term, the second one's like a secondary thing. So yeah, that's fine. Um, at least he takes five more damage though. That's good.

He's got two turns. That's 10 damage each turn. Excellent. We've deleted that AOE. Let's put that back. There we go. Whatever. Um, so yeah, he does take two turns, so I'll, that's another, that's another five damage. Um, let's, let's change, let's change tact here. Uh, he's gonna, he's gonna tell his buddy there for, uh, he's gonna, he's, he's gonna motion towards the world, restrain him. Restrain him. Is that what he does? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's gonna hold up his fucking big glowing long sword now. Uh, and try another swing at Thoril. He's gonna just kind of cut down at him. 18 first.

Come on! With these rolls. God, what a pussy. That's what Thoril said, yeah. Thoril pulled him out. Now we know that the DM's dice aren't loaded. Um, young vampire number four is going to try to restrain Thoril. Um, he's gonna go for a grab. Hopefully this works out better than the one I just did. 28 versus reflex. So you are immobilized. You can still attack, you can still, but you can't move. Set yourself on fire like, well, it wasn't playing well in any way, so. Okay. Uh, Rotswell, your turn. Okay, uh, first off I'm gonna use healing, uh, word on myself as my minor action.

Probably a good idea. Um, and there's also a 1d6. 2d6, isn't it? Uh, 3d6. Wait, no. Uh, level 6 is d6, you're right. Sorry. 2d6 plus... And Dandai? No, sorry, there was something. Uh, 2d6 plus... that's it. Okay. Uh, roll it. So, it's six. So... I thought it was plus your charisma mod. Uh, target can spend a healing surge and regain 1d6 additional points. Oh, yeah, that's right. My bad, my bad. Uh, so healing surge plus six. Okay. Um, now I'm going to use Smite, undead against Edward. Okay. Um, never used this before, because I've never fought anybody undead before.

Um, uh, so it is a d20 plus 16. Um, I'm gonna add two for flanking and one for being speedy, because I was speedy that time. Uh, so d20 plus 19, 37. That'll hit. Okay. So, here's what that... D20 plus 19. So, we'll, uh, we'll go ahead and just do the damage real quick before we get into the other stuff. Uh, 2d8 plus eight. And it's radiant too, so... Okay. And divine. I don't know if that adds anything. Well, radiant, yeah, that's the one we're looking for right now. Um, 2d8 plus eight is 18. Okay, so he's gonna take 28, because he's a vulnerable 10 to radiant.

So, 28 damage to Edward. Um, then on top of that, uh, I push the target. Now, I don't know how this is gonna work though, because Thoril's there. You push him right into him, right? No, no, no, go ahead. Okay. Go ahead for now. I push the target three squares plus my constitution modifier, um, which is three, so six squares. So, I guess up against the wall right by... So, yeah, you're gonna throw him against the opposite wall. That's, that's... That's 20 feet away, so yeah, okay. Um, let's say that because the, the vampire's kind of grabbing Thoril, it doesn't affect him.

Okay. So, uh, so, shazam. And he is immobilized until the end of my next turn, so that means his next few turns, he's immobilized. Ooh. Are you gonna finish him? Okay, so, okay. Let's, let's, let's give him another 10 for being flicked against that wall. So, that, that, that, you could tell that surprised him. He did not expect to be taken off his feet and whipped across the room. That's, you could tell that hasn't happened to him in a very long time. Uh, and... Yeah, vampire spawn number six, the only one left near Malkus. Uh, shit's his pants. Yeah, I mean, there's not much...

It's not gonna scare him off, I'm sorry. You know what, he's gonna try and grab Malkus. That's... 29. Well, lucky for him, Malkus is out of crazy reactive attacks, so... Okay, so this vampire has you, he's got, he just wraps your arms and stuff up around your waist like he has you. Those balls. Uh, number... Number two is gonna use his claws against, uh, against Rodswell. Uh, 19 is gonna miss. Gonna miss, ladies and gentlemen, huh? I'll take a bow, and next is number seven. Wait, who just went? Uh, so, uh, number two. Did he die? So, no. Uh, number seven is going to try and grab.

Yeah, he's gonna try and grab Rodswell. Uh, 19 versus your reflex? Yeah. Okay, so, let's start marking these people. Uh, adjust conditions. You are grabbed. They're all taking their five damage to, right? Yes, I'm adding that now. Five damage to each of them. Yeah, so they're just kind of burning in this, in this square. Uh, Ironhide, your turn. Alright, um... So, Ironhide's leaning against this wall in the doorway, doing nothing, while both vampires and the party itself are clashing and tearing each other apart. Oh, no, no, no, Jason, we know, we know. Ironhide uses itchy vagina.

I'm reminding, hold on, I'm reminding the listeners at home, uh, because Edward has just been flicked across the room and coincidentally enough has landed next to Ironhide. What a convenient opportunity to show your commitment to this course of action, Ironhide. And I will, right now. I step out of the shadows, holding my duck. Um, I'm going to, I think it's, I don't know, I guess it's, um, Intimidate, and I'm going to scream out enough in a booming voice. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Who are you trying to intimidate? Because you can't intimidate a room.

Okay, well, what do I have to do in order to get everybody's attention to stop, rather than just stop, like, stop... That's not going to happen. Again, it's far too long for that. Right, now you can, you can try and intimidate one person. Like you can, you can try, like that's, that's something you can do. So this is just going to keep going more out of hand and more out of hand, like without any stopping. Well, there are several courses of action. You can try diplomacy, you can try intimidate, you can try, I mean, a bluff maybe? Like, we got a thousand guys outside the room.

We got cops around the whole place. Uh, bluff I guess. It's plus three, which I mean, I don't mean to brag. Oh my God. Okay, well, that's totally something you can do. I'm guessing you're bluffing Edward. The 300 year old vampire. Well, is that a bluff or is that, no, it's diplomacy. What are you trying to say? Diplomacy, I'm trying to plomacize with him. What are you trying to say, Joss? I'm trying to convince him to stop fucking fighting, that we mean him no harm. You're the guy who, you're the guy who kicked in his door. That's going to be a tough sell. I'm just, I'm just trying to say, hey, we come in peace.

I just want to confront him and say, a moment of your time, sir. I'm not the one that destroyed your door with, with giant boots. Do you just want to turn on us now? Do you just want to start attacking us? Because it'll probably do just as good as what you're doing. I didn't start any fighting. I didn't fight anyone this entire time. So turning on people is going to be pretty difficult when I'm trying to have everybody survive. Oh, good God. He's a 300 year old vampire. He knows things. We'll survive just fine if you start stabbing freaking vampires. I want vampires on our side.

I don't want to just have, well, we could take one group or we could take two. I'm going to go with two. I still don't see why the hell you think you would even want them on our side anyway. What are we going to do? Are we going to go back to the fucking vampire hound and be like, oh no, no, no, no, they're cool. And then not only that, but like every time anybody bleeds, what's the vampire's going to do? We're in the middle of a war and you're going to have vampires who can't control themselves, seeing our own people bleeding and just running after them.

Okay. We want that on our side. Let's bring some black people back to the clan rally. Yeah, that's a great idea. That has nothing to do with anything. Two things. You didn't read the fucking article because you would have known things about this. Okay. Hold on. No, no, no. Number two, Thoril. He was infected with this whole vampire thing and we kept him away from certain things, but he wasn't mindless. Yeah, but you can't keep a whole pack of vampires away from it. That's the thing is that, yeah, we were able to control him, but if one of us bled, he had to do a check every time.

I don't know what to say. Do you think that... Okay, let's say we had a pack of vampires. Do you think we would put them next to the fleshies with blood in them? And Warforged, by the way, don't have blood. No, but they can... Oh my God, they can still swing and still do things that vampires do. And so can... Moving on. I see both sides of this. I don't understand where Dan is coming from. He's acting like, "Ah, Warforged, we can't..." Well, first off, I have to think as my character. As my character, there's no way Rodswell would ever agree to an idea where...

I wasn't talking to Rodswell just then, I was talking to Dan when he was saying, "Well, you should be talking to Rodswell." Yeah. I like Rodswell. Ironhide doesn't like anybody, though, so... Like anything that's going to get us closer to victory, and these guys certainly would. Okay, and then the clerics aren't going to support us as much. They want that fascinating opinion, "Please stab a vampire." Now, they would like the dead, but if they were just out of here, away from their people killing them, they're fine with that also. So us taking them off their hands to go fight a war they're probably not going to come back with, they'll be A-okay with that.

That's not... They said they would not. They told us that. Wait, what? When we were asking them about, like, you know, what would happen if we took out these vampires, they said we'd be able to focus far more on this war. If we were to take the vampires into battle next to the clerics, do you think they'd be able to focus? What the fuck are you doing? Well, they're worried about being attacked by the vampires, as long as that is taken out. And they'll be worried about them if they're standing next to them. What's going... Oh, Jesus Christ, Dan. What's going on right now is they're living under or near their town, picking off their people that are working at the farms.

They, the clerics, once more, we discussed this in the last episode, please listen to it, we discussed that they would go over in combat in another town somewhere where they can reel them over to them so they can get healed. They're not going to be at the front line healing people that are getting shot or stabbed right next to them. They said that before, they don't want to be in combat. Right. I understand that, but they're not going to team up with fucking vampires. Clerics aren't, I'm... Again, I see both sides of this argument. You both have a point, it's just you're both yelling your point at each other aggressively.

Yeah, is this in game? Is this going on in game? Yeah, they just stopped in the middle of the fight. They stopped and we're sitting here arguing for the last five minutes and everybody's getting really, "I don't know, should we just go?" Everyone's just standing there, awkward. I'm going to try diplomacy, I'm just going to skip ahead to the end of this two dogs barking at each other argument where no one's going to win. Plus three on a diplomacy on Edward. Okay. Eleven, fuck it, just keep going. Keep going, I'm trying to make this situation where like, "Hey guys, maybe we should get these vampires on our side, we're going to kick this door down, right?" It's like, "Okay, my point doesn't make any difference, okay, let's go." Well now, hold on, you got to argue your point.

What were you trying to... Okay, it came out as an eleven, but what would you say to Edward like... Well, I mean, shit. Like, dude... Bro, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. We come in peace. I like the "we come in peace" angle, that's so great. Now that we shot at you, I think we came in peace. So, his eyes dart over when you start speaking and then he just completely ignores you and goes back to what he was doing. Like, he starts to... I would have said though that rather than more bloodshed, I would like to speak with you, but... Well, you might get another stab at it.

I do not have my sword out, it's still holstered. It doesn't look like... Come on, for a second, I'm going to talk to you. Yenward, your turn. Okay, I'm going to walk up to downed Edward. Uh oh. Yeah, and it's time to crush some bones. 2d20+17, 32. Uh, that'll hit, plus 2 because he's prone. AC, okay, cool. And that's 6d10+8. Might not get another shot. Doo doo doo. 34 damage. And I believe he takes... He's vulnerable to weapon attacks. Oh, I hate that move so much. I love it. It's my favorite. Alright. My second favorite is, uh, Crack the Shell. Uh, are you done?

Uh, I am going to back right the fuck up. Nope, no you're not, because you moved forward to get to him. Oh, I did, you're right. Never mind. Okay, uh, vampire number 3. Oh, 5 damage. Oh shit, he's dead. I knew it, yes! I knew it. Wasn't that the one that grabbed... Yeah, that was the one that grabbed Rottswell. We'll lean over and have to take out his bow. Fuck, okay. Rottswell is no longer grabbed, because there's no arms to grab him. Uh, Draconis. Okay, that does make this next move a little more difficult, though. I was planning on killing him right there. Uh, alright, I can move 6.

Let me see, 1... I'm still not even in the room yet. 1, 2... You haven't needed to be. Yeah, I know, because I'm awesome. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Okay, here we go. I am actually going to... Did you move? Not yet. I'm going to move 6, I'm going to run into the room. Which would put me right, uh, there. Okay. I'm going to use Fire Shroud, which is a close burst 3 from like, I guess that's from where I'm standing, correct? Yes. Okay, cool. And it's each enemy in the burst, so it's not going to hit anybody on our team. Oh, okay. Otherwise it's not going to hit anyone. Yeah, not, no one, none of us.

So this should hit, I can do the AoE if you want, it should hit like burst 3. It should hit everyone but Edward and number 6? Yep. Okay, so those two, okay. Roll, uh, go for 2 first. Oh yeah, I guess I should roll for that, that was better. This is going to be for 4 to 2 too, so this is different. Not reflex, like my other ones. It is number 2, 14, awesome. Uh huh, yeah that's going to miss 2, go for 7. 31. 31, however, will hit 7. Yeah. Uh, I guess 4 is 13, sweet. Okay. And 13 damage, is there half damage to anything? Oh no, no, no, that wasn't, that was to number 4.

The 13 was the hit or miss. Oh, 4, yeah I forgot 4 was in the thing too, yeah that misses totally. So, yeah roll damage. Roll damage. I forgot 4 was in the burst, my bad. 9, awesome. Uh, so 9, 2, 7. This is not half damage, but the person that hits gets 5 ongoing damage, so he should be taking 10 damage. 10, okay, cool. And that should do my turn. Man, there's a lot of AOEs on the field. Yep, I'm going to take that one off though. Bam. Uh, hmm. Edward's turn. He can't do anything, right? No, he can, he's immobilized, but he can stand. Well, immobilized means he can't move, so I guess he can't stand.

Good break dance. No, he just can't leave his square, he can stand up. Can he stand up? Okay. Does that count as a move action? Anyway, um, let's see here. Yennward's a threat, I'm going to be honest with you. Yeah, I'm daring him to move because I get to smack him if he does. Keep moving Edward. Okay, here's what we're going to do. He can always shift back once. Edward bites Yennward. Done. Next move. Thank you, that's a great idea. What he's going to do is he is going to whip out his sword again, stand up, catch it, kind of right himself, and he's going to use imperiling strike on Yennward.

Okay, that means I- God damn it, that's a 19. And I get to respond with a melee basic attack. Do you? Yeah, he's marked by me, isn't he? Uh, I think that's if he doesn't, if he swings against something that isn't you. I thought I just tried to move at all. No. If he does anything, he looked at me cockeyed. Let me make sure. I'm at challenge one. Anyone marked by you is adjacent to you and shifts or makes an attack that doesn't include you, you can make a melee. So yeah, he didn't move or anything, so you're good. This is not standing with me, I don't like this at all.

Malkus, your turn. Okay, I will do Soul Eater on the vampire still adjacent to me. Plus one for speedy, plus one for bloodied, so do 20 plus 17. Good God. Go big or go home. 23 versus AC. That'll miss. Really? Yeah. All the bonuses. Yep, you rolled a six though at the end of the day. Yeah. And you shift away. I shift and end my turn. Okay. Umm. Thoril, your turn. You are grabbed. Alright, melee basic attack on four, that's a D20 plus 15, plus one for speed. 21. That'll miss. Fuck that shit. Heroic effort. Nice. Okay. That will hit. Wait, is that a plus two or plus four?

Plus four. That'll hit. Yay, you hit something. I'm not fucking, not doing that shit again. A whole battle without hitting anything. 21. 21 damage, he is bloodied. Alright, let's whip this back around with the off hand. 27. 27 will hit. Do I even need to do it? Yes you do. It's a 2D6 plus 14. Do it. And he disintegrates. 19. 19 is just enough to kill him. Alright. Nice. So another Decavitation, another dead vampire, dust everywhere. Your nice clean clothes are covered in it. Is that the end for you? Um, for now yes. Okay. Edward's turn. Edward kind of shouts over the melee, "Enough!" And he is going to look at Thoril and use Dominating Gaze.

Oh, that's insulting. Sounds sexy. Just going to give me the stink eye. 25 versus your will. Yeah. Okay. Oh no, wait. Is this what I think it is? You are dominated by everyone's willpower. Oh shit. Oh fuck me. You can only use at wills, I can only attack other people with at wills, but thankfully your at will is awesome. So, I'll be taking your next turn. Oh no. So that's a save end. So at the end of the turn that I'm taking for you, you get to roll a saving throw. You get a negative two to your saving throw by the way. Someone get rid of those fucking vampires because I'm going to be hitting somebody hard and I have a bad feeling it's probably going to be Rod Swell.

Now, I made an attack against Thoril, which wasn't against Yenward, so Yenward go ahead and roll a melee. Yeah, hey thank you. Um. It's worth it. Oh don't be upset Agent Faves. And plus one goes speedy. 36. 36 will hit him. Yes it will. And two D10s plus eight. 20. 20 damage. Okay, 20. Does it give it 30? For the first time. 30 for the plus 10 damage with a weapon. Oh it does, you're right. Wow, shit. Ow. That hurts like hell. He kind of snaps back around and looks at you like, you know, just like, you fucker. That kind of. Damn, he's still not bloody yet? Good pouty lip.

Oh my god, what if he fucking gets it on Yenward? Oh, he can only dominate one person at a time. Oh good. Yeah. We would be fucked if he could do two of them all. Uh, Rotswell, your turn. It takes a lot of willpower to like, he's got to kind of concentrate on everything. Do you just watch everybody streak back through the game? Into the lava everyone, into the lava. Fuck that shit. Okay, uh, I'm gonna use Sun's Burst on two. Uh, that is a D20 plus 16 plus one for being speedy. 35. That'll hit. Okay, uh, that is a 1d8 plus 8. Uh, 13. Kills him. Okay, uh, now, uh, you and each ally within five squares of you gain five temporary hit points and can make a saving throw.

Uh oh. Uh, okay, so let's give those five temporary hit points to everyone first. Nice. I could use those, thank you. Good thing I jumped up here. I need my tank here nice and healed up. That's good. I like that. Need you, need you at peak physical condition there, killer. Gonna nail that saving throw. We'll see. If I were a betting man. I have a question. You and saving throws aren't friends. What's up? So I bought this Helm of Battle. Yes. And it says, uh, what does plus one item bonus to an issue checks mean? Oh, that means you, uh, that everyone would have, that's the thing that anyone within five squares of you gets a plus one to your initiative.

Okay. That's what it is. That's, that just means that, but we forgot all about that. So I just want to make sure that I forgot about a lot of things, but I'm reading now and it's going to come in handy. Well, that should have affected your initiative like that. That's in the math, but everyone else's. Right. We've got to remind everybody to do that. Um, that, that it for you there, Rotswell. Okay. Um, I'm, I'm looking because I could have sworn I had a at will or a minor action that helps people saving throws. Um, but I can't seem, Oh, Thor roll a saving throw.

Find it. Flat D 20. All right. Well, I was going to see if I could help it, but I can't find D 20 minus two. Yeah. Fuck me. Correct one. Ladies and gentlemen, nail this savings. He's more in love with vampires than ever. I think it's the worst negative role. Yep. Thor rubs the sweet, delicious taste of being dominated. You love it. Um, God dammit. Young vampire number six. Uh, fuck. That's a notable moment for a thorough and I demand to be counted first negative role. You're right. I think we should have that too. That's kind of what you don't want. Uh, you know what young vampire number six is going to lunge at, uh, he's going to lunge and try and bite, uh, malkus.

Oh shit. Now, because he's lunging, it's, it's, it's a slightly weaker attack, but yeah, the, the entire point is to try and get some of that sweet, delicious innards. Uh, holy shit. Oh my God. 32. Does that mean? Uh, to AC. Yeah, that, that, uh, so, okay. Uh, this is not good. So let's, let's do damage here. Uh, so that's nine damage to malkus. Okay. Uh, the vampire bites into your flesh. That's bad. Uh, and he's going to regain nine health. That's bad. Oh Christ. Uh, and malkus has been bitten and we'll deal with that in just a little bit. Fuck. Um, we're not saving little girls this time.

Uh, number seven, 10 damage, 10 damage. And, uh, let's see, hold on. Nope. He's not dead. I had to check. Yeah, like 11. Oh my God. Shitty. I had to check though, because that was really close. Wow. So this guy just, it continually is being just lit on fire. It's really frustrating. I don't know if you guys have ever had that happen to you. Um, and like, he's just kind of like constantly like his, his clothes are on fire and everything. And in the frenzy, he's just going to swing his claws at rotswell. Uh, so that is D 20 plus 15, uh, which is a crit one. Nevermind.

And he falls. Well, that's why he's, he's, he's in such a panic. You see? Right. Yeah. Ironhide your turn. All right. Uh, I'm going to try and roll another fucking diplomacy check on the vampire. Really want him to listen. You know, whatever. Watch him take over me and then have me go hit fucking Ironhide. That's a possibility. It's like, this is what I think about your diplomacy. Surprised to take over Ironhide, then that would have just been perfect. He just would have started attacking us. The only reason he did is Ironhide is not really a threat right now.

So it's not like 18 does not work. 18 is not going to work. I'm afraid. All right. Go ahead. Yay. I'm going to use brute strike 30 against AC. Good God. Yeah, that'll hit. Cool. Okay. 6d10 plus 8. This is my big one. He's still vulnerable to weapon damage too. 44 plus 10. Okay. 54. Bang bang. Okay. You've drawn blood. He's now bloodied. As a result. Yes. He's going to go into a frenzy. This guy is not used to being manhandled. He's kind of an upper crust aristocrat type of dude. And the fact that you have so thoroughly took swings at him. He can shift up to five spaces.

So what he's going to do here is shift right here. I know. I know. Give me a second. He's got up. And he's going to almost do this ballet dance with his sword. And just start making these really aggressive cuts. And he's going to make three distinct attacks. And all of them will be against Yenward. Okay. Okay, then I'm okay. Again, he doesn't see Ironhide as a threat. Jesus Christ. So what is the sword attack? What's the multiplier on that longsword? Okay, so 22 against AC. Missed. Okay. 21 against AC. Missed. Yeah. 26 against AC. It hits. Okay. This is really frustrating for him, by the way.

This never happens to him. I understand. I fell in love with it. I swear this never happens to me. 25 damage to Yenward. Okay. But I... It's in the smash room now, right? You do. Okay. I'm going to attack because he shifted. Yay. This is fun. I should make use of my marks more often. It says "emailers" to the show. Yours was nicer than the one sent to Brian. Oh, what happened to Brian? Oh, it was something on the Reddit. It doesn't know how to use runes. Yeah, that's the one that chased us off Reddit. Essentially, it's like, "This is a vile and disgusting place. Let us leave." Oh, yeah. 22 against AC.

That'll miss. Oh, no, no, no, no. I just want to say all of... No, no, no. Well, not because I have a lucky charm, and if I miss an attack, I get to roll a d6 and add the result to my roll. What? Go ahead. That's a daily, I believe. Yeah, that's fine. I don't use it. Will I? No, I'll let it go. Shut up. Okay. Yeah, I'll let it go. I'll let it go. Okay. By the way, all of Reddit is in a vile, disgusting place. I'm just kidding. Did you know there's a subreddit for flashlights? Go ahead. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Uh, Traconus. All right. For my minor action, I'm going to pop on my fire shield, which it gives me 10 resistance to cold and fire, but also...

Yeah, that part doesn't matter, but whenever a creature does a melee attack against me, it takes two d6s plus my intelligence modifier, which is five. So that's just my minor. Just popping my fire shield on. Just want to point that out there. Gotcha. Fire shield is active. All right. Now, I'm going to do my fire burst on... This is going to be tricky. So I'm going to do it on where it only hits number six. So I'm going to do it right there. Wait, no. Not right there. That's wrong. Nah, that won't... Fuck. So... I don't think you can do it. Oh my god. Maybe we should try to kill Edward before he gets another turn after you?

Are you sure? I mean, you know what? Oh. Okay. All right. Yep. No, this is... I got thrown off here. Got thrown off. I'm almost ready. Fuck. See, all my moves, everybody's like all grouped together now, so I don't want to hit people. Fuck it. Here we go. I'm going to do fire burst right here. So that's going to attack everything right there. Okay. Then just... Right there. That's what you fucking get. Burn them. Which is a d20. Plus 12. This heats up the hardy... Which one do you want me to roll for first? Roll against Edward first. Edward first. All right, here we go. 32 for... 32 will hit Edward.

Yep, reflex. Okay. And ironhide? 18 for ironhide. 14. There we go. Okay. The one for Edward's a crit and you missed ironhide, so just what's the max damage? Ooh, max damage. 3d6 plus seven. So... 18 plus seven, 25. 25, okay. Well, there you go. Okay, so 25 damage to Edward. Yes. All right. Here's... Okay, this is bullshit. Bullshit. This is the Titan thing all over again. Burn! Oh my god. No, I'm just gonna start playing dirty with... Oh, he didn't die? I'm just gonna start really... No. Oh, Edward? Yeah. No! No, no, no. Do you assume that? I know. No, no, no. My bad. And Draconis just took his turn.

It is Edward's turn now. Eddie... Eddie is gonna use Second Wind and regain 46 hit points. What? Suck a dick, Edward. No, you don't. That's not fair. I'm sorry, did you say 46? 46, yes. A four with a six after. Oh, and he gains plus two to all his defenses until the end of his next turn. Until the start of his next turn, sorry. So there's that. Hmmm. He's still bloody? He's still bloody. Wow. He's going to raise his sword, point it at Yenward, and say "en garde." So that'll be it. That's all of his action. They've marked each other! Yeah, they've marked each other.

That's fine, all eyes on you, baby. Malchus, your turn. Okay, well I'm gonna go after the dude that bit me, because that's no fun. He bit you? Yeah, he bit. I saw you soul leader on number six there. He does have a soul. D20+15, 16. That's a good point. He's an angel. Malchus is famished. 22 AC? That'll miss. Man, bad day. Alright, I will get back to back with Draconis just to not be flanked if nothing else. Okay. That's done. Alright. Thoril's turn. Let's see here. Thoril's will dominated by Edward. Edward points at Draconis. I knew it, you're gonna burn, bitch. It says destroy him.

He doesn't even get a chance to roll? No. Aw man, that's crazy. Not until the end of his turn. The end of my turn. Watch him mess even with me. Uh, let's look at your basic melee attack. Let's use that power for evil. Oh god no. This time we're using it on the main group. Uh, so Thoril races. Oh god this is terrible. Thoril's gonna take a swing at Draconis. 24 versus AC. Okay. Let's do that damage. Oh, 2d8+12. He's so tough. 24. It's pretty tough. Alright, by the way, boom. He's rolling, I'm rolling damage for him as well, for my shield. Okay. Anytime somebody rolls damage with a melee attack, he takes 13 damage.

Oh! 13 damage to Thoril. I'm okay with that. Yeah, that's good. He's our friend. Thoril is going to take that damage and whip back around with the, uh, yep, okay, I can do that because that is, that's, yep, that's at will. Is it another roll? Is he rolling against me again? Yes, fucking hell. Okay, he's gonna take, he's gonna take more damage then. That's not a good thing. 28! It always gets harder. Even when it's not him. That hits. Oh well, this is pretty crazy. He takes 8 damage. Oh, okay, hold on one second. Sure. You're gonna take 26 damage. Sure, yeah, that sounds good.

Reasle. I'm gonna get out of this, I'm gonna fuck that dude up. Uh, 8 damage. Just, just by the way, I'm probably gonna die my next turn, so I have 16 health. So yeah. Edward's turn. No, I get to fucking save first. Oh, go, sorry, go, yeah, I'm so sorry. God damn it! Crit 1. You suck. You rolled a 1, guys. Negative 1. Oh dude, that's, you set records. It's now, I'm the first to do two negative rolls. It's like Brett Favre's Interception record. It's a record, right? Okay. I have a quick question real quick. Go ahead, what's your question? Can I, like, when it's my turn, what happens if I try to shift?

Uh, you can shift. Like, that's not gonna affect me in a negative way? No. Okay, just wondering. Alright, keep going. Oh shit, Thor ended his turn in that, so he's taken 5 damage. Oh, fuck me! Because he's now an enemy? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he counts as an enemy. So his skirt goes up, whoa, whoa, shit! Sure, Kornas is happy about that. Hey, I put the shield on for a reason. You're taking me down, I'm taking you down with me. I'm just, like, screaming inside my own body, it's not me! You ran in a team, we go out as a team. Blood in, blood out. Blood, blood out, that's fucking dumb.

Um, let's see here. Target receives 1d8 extra damage, okay. So this is fun. Um, I'm going to use Imperiling Strike on Yenward. Now that he's marked, some things are gonna have to change. We'll get to that in a second. Let's try, 23 to AC, that's gonna totally miss. No, it'll hit! Does it? It hits. Yeah, it does. Yes! 3d6, plus 10. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me read some things. Go ahead, go ahead, you read. I'm gonna give you 22 damage, though, why? Is my armor's, like, plus has already added it? You know, I haven't hit more than, like, once. I'm starting to think maybe the DM nerfed my dice.

Yes. Those two consecutive one rolls, I mean, that doesn't happen. No, dice don't do things like that. We take the dice rolls we're given. I'm sorry, I've been rolling like shit up until right now, actually. Um, so that's 22, and I do an extra d6 because you're marked by me. That's just a flat d6, though. Uh, so that's an extra 4 damage, and... That is fine. That will end his turn. Rod's well. Okay, um, uh, question, guys. I have a power, it's called Holy Cleansing. Um, both, uh, Thoril and Draconis and, uh, Malchus are gonna be in the burst, so any one of them can use it.

My question is, okay, so here's what it is. Either Thoril could get a +5 power bonus against each effect on him that a save can end, and the end gets to make a saving throw. So it's a saving throw +5. Okay? What are the other options? Um, the other thing is, though, is that I can also improve a disease by two stages. Okay, well, we're not to the disease yet. Okay. I'll explain that in just a bit. Well, that's what I was asking my crew. Should I use it now? 'Cause it's a daily. Should I use it now on Thoril, or should I save it in case of Malchus? Well, Thoril doesn't have a disease, he's dominated.

No, but I, it could be a disease or a save throw. Okay. So. I'd like to have Thoril back, yeah. What does Thoril have to roll to get out of that? Atru's next turn. Uh, it has to be an 11 or higher. Oh, really, that's it? Yeah. But he's at -2. He's been rolling ones, though, so. Yeah, but. And as I was next, he gets to make a saving throw now. Yeah. If I use this. So. And he rolls just a d20, correct? Well, it's d20, right now it's d20 -2, right? Yeah. So if he has a +5, it'll be d20 +3. Right. So he's got a roll of, what, a 13 or better? Or a 14 or better? No, 11 or better, but I get a +3.

Oh, okay. Gotcha. So, the question is, the question is, do we want to use that now, should I use that now on Thoril, or should I save it for Malkus? Oh, see, I don't know what the disease stages are, so I don't know how intense that is, but it sounds pretty bad. Oh, I like your - I would - - thought, yeah. I would love it if you saved it for Malkus. Okay. And then my other thought would be, I can use a - I can use a fucking healing word on Draconis, but look, Draconis is almost dead. That's the other part. Yeah. Yeah, he'll save Draconis. I - okay. I mean, how much do I get if you do that on me?

You get your healing surge plus I roll a 2d6. So - Can you heal Malkus instead? Is he too far? Yeah. Malkus isn't that bad, I mean - Yeah, I've got plenty of health. When it comes to my turn, I can - I can get out of the way with my shift. Yeah, but, I mean, you're still only 16 health. True. I mean, if you want, you can put it on me if you want, but I'm gonna get out of the way though, just a heads up. Okay. You cool with that, Malkus? Sounds good. Okay, 2d6, you get 2d healing surge plus five, so whatever. Um - Well, that's still 2d6, yeah. Okay, so - I have - my surge is eight, I guess, right?

No, 15. Nope. 15, so that's 20 health. Okay. Cool, thank you. Boom, you're up to 36, not bloodied anymore. Yeah, thank you. Where do we find our surges and what they're worth? Details. Okay, gotcha. Okay, that was my minor, my major is going - or major. My main action is going to be, uh, I'm just gonna do Brand of the Sun on, uh, Deuter there. Uh, so - Seven? Yes. I can't tell if it's seven or one, I'm sorry. I know, you keep telling me cowboy and Deuter and stuff, I'm just being specific. Yeah, yeah, for some reason my eyesight's not very good right now. Uh, 20.

No. That'll miss. Yeah. That'll miss. Can I shift out of the way? You sure can. I'll do that. Is the healing surge a minor action? Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Well, no, no, no, no, not for you, for him, like, his - yeah, him giving you a healing surge is a minor action. Gotcha. Yeah, you have to have a power that says use a healing surge, essentially. Or you can use Second Wind. Okay. Uh, okay, number six. Six has already bitten Malchus. Uh, he is going to lunge in again. He wants to get some of that. Not the other side. Um, yeah, so this, uh, 26 to reefer. A6, sorry. That's gonna hit, yeah.

Just barely. Okay. So that's 12 damage to Malchus. Was this another bite or just a lunge? Just another bite. Like, he's lunging in for a bite, so. Fuck. Okay. Uh, number seven. Ten ends. Uh, dead. Nice. Arrgh. Number seven is dead. Boom. Burst into flames. My fight money. You - sorry, that's dumb. Uh, Ironhide, your turn. I'm gonna scream. You're standing - okay, you're standing right next to, uh, right next to, uh, Edward. Yeah. Kill him. Do something. I have been, you just don't fucking realize. I want, uh, Draconis to get in a scream for him. I want him to yell, "Do something." Yeah.

It has to be your turn, buddy. I can't scream? No. You can - it - for real quick purposes, yeah. Scream inside. I'm gonna say, please just friggin' listen to me. Not cursing, by the way, I know. Uh, ten. Okay, fine. Somebody else's turn. Go ahead. Fuck. I'm trying as hard as I can to get a 300-year-old vampire on our side. Sorry, I guess I'm just a silly bill. Yenward, your turn. I'm gonna use a Reckless Strike on Eduardo. 26 against AC? Uh, that'll miss. No, it won't, because I will be using my Lucky Charm now. No - okay, okay. Go ahead. Five. Shit, that'll hit. Okay.

It will. Six - I'm glad I saved that. Six D10 plus eight. Brute Strike and Bone Crusher and half - like Reckless Strike. Okay. Six D10 plus eight. Go ahead. Yo! Plus ten because he's a stupid bitch and he didn't throw a saving throw against my weapon weakness. Bam, bam. 54. Yeah, 54. I love it. Oh my god. Oh yeah, that's right. I didn't roll a saving throw. That negates second wind right there. Yep. Okay. That's - that's - that's good. That's right. That is excellent. That is an excellent point. Can I use a Persian for my minor action? Uh, you can. Yeah, so I'm gonna - I'm gonna split one of those.

You should action point that shit. Oh wait, boom. Action point. Alright. There it is. What am I gonna do? Crack the shell. It's rolling. Thanks Dan. 29. 29'll hit. Yes! Yes! Kill 'em. 2, 3, 4, plus 8. And if he lives through this, he takes a negative 2 penalty to AC and an ongoing 5 damage. 32. Plus 10. 42. 42, yes. Okay. So I've done a collective almost 100 points damage to him just now. Notable kill. Okay. Gotta be dead. You have visibly hurt this dude. Like his clothes are tattered. Like you have hurt him deeply. You gotta imagine this guy dressed to the nines, you're coming in here and he's not sweating you whatsoever.

Arms crossed while you're bursting through the door. He probably heard you coming way down the hall. Didn't even bother reacting. And throughout this fight with Yanward, he's getting his shit kicked around this entire room. So yes, that's a problem. And you said you want to pop a potion? Yes I would, thank you. That is a flat D10 I believe. Okay. Can I do a healing? No I couldn't. Too late for that. Just 10 points. Okay you're up to 44 health. Draconis, your turn. Alright, can I do an attack and then move? Is that doable or no? Sure. Okay. Perfect. So I'm going to do Burning Hands.

Okay. Which is closed blast five which does five straight in front of me. That make sense? Sure does, yeah. So you're going for Edward. Straight at Edward, yep. Straight at Edward. And this is going to be towards reflex here. Boom, 23. Oh, that'll miss. Well 24 hit. I can't tell you that. Oh, what if I did my plus one for speed? Oh yeah, that doesn't hit. Oh, dammit. Okay well it still does half damage so. Okay. Uh, half of 18. Alright, nine damage. Alright. And then, so he's not dead I assume? Not dead. Alright, I'm going to, for my move action, I'm going to use Expeditious Retreat.

You can shift twice your speed, which my speed is six so I can shift 12. Okay. And, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. He's going to get the fuck out of there. I'm just going to fly over here, I'm going to keep counting. One, two, three, four, five. So how long is it going to take you to get back? Oh hold on, hold on. Twelve. To the wall. Let's go Thorl, fucking chase me. Chase me. I have a feeling I'm going to be, he's going to try to use me against Yennor this time. And that's going to be the end of the turn. Thorl's turn, he is not happy.

No this is fucking ridiculous. Take your five damage. Yes, take his five damage. He's going to turn into mist. This is, yeah, he's going to turn into mist. That's his minor, and he has a fly speed of 12 so he's going to turn into mist. I thought you were making a joke, he's literally becoming mist. So pop. Fuck this guy, no, fuck this guy. He is not coming across the room than me. I was about to tell Ironhide to start flapping his gums again and just suck him up. So he turns into mist, floats across the room, and I'm debating on whether it even becomes substantial again or not.

This has not worked out well for me, I'll be honest. Yeah, you know what, he's going to become substantial again. And he's going to use deft strike. Which means he can shift two squares and then make a melee basic attack with a sword. Alright, well, while he's doing that, he's going to take some damage. That's fine. He's going to take 18 damage, no 14, sorry, my roll was delayed. 14 damage. Okay, well hold on a second, I hit you first then you hit me. Wait, whoa, who said that? The rules do. It does? I thought it said whenever they make a roll to attack. Oh, does it say that?

Because usually that's a reactionary thing, wow. Let me read it just really quick, because he's probably going to kill me here. You have too many hit points to just kill you. Make some melee attack, whenever a creature makes a melee attack roll against you, it takes damage. Yeah, it takes 2d6 plus intelligence to modify fire damage. Okay, so what was that? 14? 14, yeah. 14, he takes 14 damage, alright. So 27 will hit you. So this is 3d6 plus 10, 22 damage. Cool. Alright. I have a 14 health. Malkus, your turn. Okay, looks like I still have that guy right next to me, so I'm going to try to whack him again, if he didn't go down, there's going to be trouble.

It's all them damn bites he keeps giving you. Yeah. Six deserves the name, he's a toughie. 27 AC. 27 will hit. Oh, d12 plus 14, 24 damage. 24 damage, he's bloodied again. Action. Yeah, I kind of don't want him to get another action, I'll action point. Action point. Let's do it again. Same attack. That's going to miss. Don't you get a bonus because he's bloodied? I do, plus one. Did you add that? No, I didn't. That'll hit him. Oh, cool. Yay. d12 plus 14, so 24. I rolled it without the modifier on accident. Oh, okay. 24 damage will kill him. Good. Dead. Then I will go toward my friend Draconis to support him because when a fight starts, that's what you do for your friends.

I agree. I agree. Even if the nature of the fight troubles you, you still go in there and you swing at the guys who are fighting your friends. I'd say there have been several times where Malkus didn't get his way on something and he still continued to fight alongside of us. That's true. Yeah, keep talking, it's all right. It's okay. And by the way, this is a wonderful army that we're going to have with us if you convince him to turn. I love how dense you are, Dan. I just love it. I'm going to die here. In this corner of the room. All right, all right. Okay. Thoril's turn.

Five damage. Yes. Thoril does take five damage. Thank you. I'm dying here. Oh, damn it. Never mind, it's too late now. Thoril's going to march towards you, Edward. And he is going to use basic melee attack. Oh, God, no. I'm sorry. You're supposed to be my friend. Cut his head off. 33 damage. Or 33 attack, sorry. I don't know what you're complaining about. He's hitting every time. I don't know what you're doing wrong. Fuck you. You're doing a good job, Thoril. 2d8 plus 12. 24 damage to Yenward. And he's going to whip around. And he's going to try it again with the dual weapon attack.

So I wonder what's going to happen when we all get downed and Ironhide's the only one standing. Missed. 22. That's a miss. Okay. The first time he's ever missed the backhand, Yenward. I want that on my notable achievements. You didn't do anything. I don't. He ducked. I have scouted him for too long to know that wasn't coming. That's true, actually. That would make sense. Um, you know what? I am fucking done with this. This is bullshit. Uh, Edward is going to try and bite Draconis. Oh, cool. Hang on. I'm throwing my saving throw first. Oh, yes. I'm so sorry. Throw your saving throw.

God damn it. Jesus H. Christ. What the fuck? Do not edit out that. God damn it. It's the funniest thing ever. That was total frustration. Oh man. This is, I'm going to die guys. Oh, man. This is, I'm going to die guys. D20 plus 14. Dude, we have a vampire dragonborn. 33. Nice. Almost cracked. Um, 2d12 plus 8. 16 damage. Okay, so I'm. So you're down. So he, he kind of just grabs you and starts feeding and then Draconis goes down. There's definitely some resistance though. Uh, trying to get through Draconis's thick hide. Like just like it's kind of has to like, like puncture it.

Like it's like, did he catch fire too from his armor? Uh, it wasn't a, it wasn't a, was that a melee attack? Does that count as a melee attack? Well, yeah, it's, it's mouth. It's mouth. That's his malays. You got your 14. Good call. 14. It's his ranged mouth attack. Um, okay, so that's 16 damage to you. 14. That's, it just does 14. Okay. Wow. Shit. Okay. So tell me the bitch dies. Uh, well no, because he's going to re-engain health. 46 health to be specific. Fuck. Oh, from biting me? Yes. Well, my blood is that fucking good. That's all I got to say. Uh, Roswell, your turn.

Oh yeah. Okay. That was a good fit. Okay. Um, then I'm going to move one, two, three, four, five. Um, look, would healing word really do anything right now with that? Oh, you're out of healing words. Oh, that's right. I only have two, not three. Okay. I was reading the extra thing on there. Okay. Um, man, if I, if I flank him, do I still get plus two even though he's down? No. Fuck. Man. Okay. I'm going to settle behind him. Uh, I'm going to pop an action point. Okay. Um, I'm going to use resurgent sun on him, which is D 20 plus 16. I had the one and I, no, we're searching.

I'm sorry. Same brand. Same thing. D 20 plus 16. I was just reading the wrong one. Wrong one. Uh, and roll it. 29. Oh, 29 wheels. Yeah. 29 versus AC. 29 will hit. Okay. That is radiant damage. Um, okay. It is one D eight plus eight. Roll it. 13. Um, and then on top of that, he is blind until the end of my next turn. Oh shit. Okay. And then I'm going to, I'm going to shut 23 damage. No, you used, no, no, no. You used every action you had getting up to him. I can't, I, I, I had an action point though. Yeah. That gives you one action. You just took it. Oh, okay. Uh, so that was 23 damage to Edward.

Uh, and this blinding light goes off and he just kind of hot, just like it's completely blinds him. Ironhide. Fuck doesn't matter really. I want to team with sociopaths. I can't move any farther because of all that lava that's still on me. I'm sorry. If I remember right, when we were doing that whole treaty process, your feeling was kill them all? Kill them all so they can't hunt down more, uh, more, uh, And what do you think the vampires are going to do if we leave them alone? I'm just, I'm just trying to get into your head why you could be diplomatic about this, but not doing all this is to go out and get an army.

Why are we being picky? Then why did, I mean, doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Why didn't we try to convince the guy that Ynwin was fighting to join up with us? Why didn't you argue that? Because with those types of groups, like you can't do that. They, they, they broke apart from, from their leader so they can go conquer. I think it was Winter Haven. Okay. But clerics and vampires are against each other. They're not going to be grouped up inside a ball. There are separate fronts altogether. In fact, the clerics aren't even going to be on the front. I'm going to roll and I'm going to say, Hey, why don't you just listen to me?

It's a 17. It's weaker than before. There we go. Picture all your hide. Like through the entire fight, like shuffling, taking these swings. Hey, come on. Knock it off. Come on. Hey. All right. Come on. Wait. Ynward, your turn. Okay. You have an action point. Hey, can I pop an action point and do this? Yeah, I was just going to go ahead. This is, this is the turn everything around right here. You're pathetic. You smell like wet dog. A four. That's a crit one. I'm so sorry. I spit up all over myself. Someone's going to help me clean it off. Someone else is going to help me clean it off.

I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to die. Ynward, go ahead. So here's the thing. One of my, I'm pretty sure I remember what it does, but bloody determination doesn't show up when I click on it. Oh, geez. Yeah. Hold on a second. I'm pretty sure just means that I can like keep trying again until I hit when I'm bloodied. Fairly certain that is what it does, but give me one second. I don't want to hit Thoril though. And I do have a weird question. That dominating thing that's on Thoril, does it have to be in a certain range? Does the Ynward have to be in a certain range?

It's just during the combat and it's bloody determination. You miss with an at will attack power when you are bloodied. The effect is you reroll the missed attack roll. Okay. So can I move, do a healing surge, and then pop a potion? No. No, no, no. You can't just pop off a healing surge. I can't. Why not? No. I have a move that is called Third Wind and I'll use that if I have to. Okay. You do have Second Wind too. You haven't used Second Wind. Healing straight to third. Where's Second at? Second Wind is just a thing that everyone has. Where you pop off, that's your standard action.

Okay. You pop it off and then you spend a healing surge and you get plus two to all of your defenses until the beginning of your next turn I believe. Okay. Well, Third Wind is a minor action. So could I just use two healing surges? What? I have East beings. Yeah, I know you're trying to squeeze every bit. Technically, yes, you could use Second and then Third Wind. Okay. But that'll be your move. That'll be your turn. Yeah, I know. I don't have anybody near me that I can attack. I can't reach Edward. You can reach Thoril. Wait, Third Wind is not a natural ability, is it?

I'm not going to hit Thoril. Yes. For Yenward it is. Oh, I thought he was just BSing. No. That's what I thought. I'm like, "No, that Third Wind is a thing. Jesus Christ, Yenward's broken." Wow, okay. That is an ability. I did my homework. He invented a wind. I take it back. Thank you. See, I'm not always trying to... What I'm going to do is I'm going to move five. Grift me. Oh, okay. Yeah, you can move. You can shift, but Yenward's going to get a... A what? Yenward's going to get an opportunity at that. I'm sorry, Thoril's going to get an opportunity. Oh, then I'm not going to move.

Thoril's an enemy. Is Sarah here? Um, all right, then I'm just going to do what those two things I was going to say I was going to do then. Okay, you're going to do Second Wind. Oh, yeah. And then I'm going to exhale, and then I'm going to suck in my third one. And then Third Wind is you spend a healing surge as a standard action and adjacent ally... Oh, well, that's not going to... Yeah, never mind. So you have just did a Matron of Mine. Yeah, that adds up. The math is correct. You're up to 62 health again. Can I get some props for that? That was pretty cool.

I'll give you props for that. If I don't die, I'll say good job. Thanks. Draconis, you are on the floor. Yep. With some bite marks in your neck. Nice. Can I do anything, or does that mean... I hear your taste. Make a death saving throw. A death saving throw. Okay, I take it that's a 20? Just a flat 20, right? Uh, yes. 15. Do I die? No, you don't die. But you're not up either, so... You're stable, which is pretty hot right now. Yeah, being stable is pretty hot. I'll take it. Edward's turn. Edward's blind and hurt. And he's not doing great. Ah, Jesus. Okay, you know what?

He's going to raise his sword in the direction he thinks that Rod Swell is in. And say "en garde." But he's really pointing behind him on the ground. So he's dead now, right? I mean, like, if he's going to use his turn for that and not break into mist. Um, that's a minor. Uh, so I'm going to use imperiling strike on Rod Swell. D20+15. 28. Yeah. That'll hit. Okay. I'd like him to take his ongoing 5 because I cracked a show. True. Oh, you did. True. And ongoing 5. Alright, let's see here. That is 3d6+10. 19 damage to Rod Swell. And, fun fact, you take a -3 penalty to AC and reflex defenses until the end of the Vampire Lords next turn.

Okay. So... So even though he's blind, he did hit him. Uh, with a 28. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Uh... Malchus, your turn. Okay. Uh, I'm gonna go... Need to get closer to your mic. Really? I lea - okay, I thought I - man, I thought I leaned in. Okay. Um... Well, shoot, there's no flanking to get, so I guess I'll just scamper over here. And, uh... So over here is, for those of you at home, is right next to Edward. Adjacent to the big bad. The back of the cave. Against the wall. Yes. 33 versus AC. This is Soul Eater. This is my at will. Okay, that'll hit. That'll kill for Ra. 24 necrotic damage. 24 - oh, he's gonna resist.

Yeah. Okay, so... But 14 is good. That's what I got. Well, I should've done my move that - oh, well, damn. Uh, Thoril's turn. Thoril is going to continue to chop down the tree that is Yenward. Yeah, okay. God. Uh, melee basic attack against Yenward. Come on, just fucking miss. 22. Miss. 22. Okay. Make - wait a second. You used heroic effort. That's not - that's an encounter anyway. Yep, fuck you. I could use - that'd be neat, though. Um, go ahead and make a saving throw there. 15! Yes, thank you. Okay. Um, Jesus Christ. Don't get loud enough. I tried. Which is better than we can say for some people in this group.

Is he gonna apologize to Yenward now? Well, hold on a second. I am. So, through sheer willpower, you managed to shake off his suggestions. Maybe it's because he's completely distracted on the opposite side of the room. You don't know. Um, now the thing is, you are now dazed. Hmph. Uh, so, that's save ends. So, while you aren't dominated, you can't do anything yet. Where better? So, okay. Ah, let's see. Yenward's turn. So, I'm just staying there like a vegetable. Kind of, yeah. You're just kind of like, ew, ew. Like, you're just, yeah. But you're not swinging it, you're friends.

So, that's a good thing. That's good. Ahh. Yenward. Um. Eduardo. Shit, I didn't roll a saving throw last. Hold on a second. Let me roll that saving throw. You gotta roll a couple. Yeah, that's true, actually. What? I have many effects. Hold on a second. Um. So, let's roll the one for the five damage I'm taking every turn. Let's take, okay, that's no longer happening. Let me roll the one for being blind. Ah, that's still happening. Ah, and let me roll, let me see, where was the third one? I don't think there is now. No, the other one was the fire, but I think that ended with Draconis.

There's the ten weapon damage. Oh, ten weapon, thank you. Is that a roll, like, is that a, okay. Yeah, that's a three hand save. He's got a save. So, I'm still blind and I'm super absorbent for getting hit. Oh, did you count that into Malchus' hit? I did not. It's too late now. Oh, no, no, no, fair is fair. He hit him with a weapon? I hit him with a weapon, too. I don't remember what the damage was for that. Seren Brand, it was. Either way, it's just ten. It's just plus ten, yeah. Because it's a flat ten for the damage. Yep. Okay. Alright. Again where it's not new.

Alright. Edward is in a shitty spot. He's in a state right now. Me too. So, he can't see, he can't, he's completely, yeah, this is not, what he's going to do is he's going to throw himself at the mercy of Malchus, the last person to hit him. So, he knows there's someone standing there, he knows, because you hit him pretty hard, he is actually going to kneel down to Malchus. And for his turn he's just going to say, "Enough. Enough." Fucking A, we fucking got him now. There we go. Yeah, you did it, you did it. It is Rod Swell's turn. I'm saying we, one way or another, we got a hold of the guy, so I'm saying that's what we have.

Okay, so can I shift, like next one without being hit since he's... You are. Well I meant like, to flank him. Yeah, sure. Oh yeah. Okay. So he is completely defenseless, down on all fours, just panting, asking, just pretty much asking for parlay, like he's done, like he can't fight back anymore currently. And I look around him, well he's on his knees, so I look over him at Malchus, kind of, for approval. Malchus is shaking his head no. Let him go? No, no, no, I don't... Oh, I meant approval in terms of like, should I hit him? Oh, hit him, yeah, no. We could...

We fucking can use him, I don't understand why we... Make sure you look at Ironhide for that same approval, by the way. I'm hesitating over here. I don't trust this vampire lord as far as I can throw him. I... And my arm strength is so far. Oh, by Rod's point, there's no way Rodswell would let him walk out. I have to roll one here. I'm just gonna say this, the only thing that... his attacks on you were completely defensive. That's all I'm saying, like, if it's a matter of you thinking he's a rabid animal, that's completely not true. You'll live to be 300 years.

My vote's for a little... I wish people were ready for it. Diplomacy, we got him. Like he's... you gonna hit a man when he's down? Come on, that's not what we're about. What? Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You're dead, shut up. Not yet, I'm pretty close though. Oh, blood. Fucking ass you. You're right, sorry, I can't talk, I actually can't say anything. So, okay. If Rodswell doesn't do it, Malchus will do it himself. Well, it has to get back around to your turn. Yeah. And he has another turn. That's true, so you better figure something out if you don't want me to do that.

He's surrendering himself. Yeah. He's done, he's got nothing left. He's tapped, man. He said what he did was messed up, yo. Ironhide's words have swayed him. Could we turn him into the town? You can do whatever you want with him now that he's surrendered. I mean, if we could capture him alive... Got some rope. It is daytime, I will remember, I will remind you guys, it is daytime outside. I mean, Malchus is saying he's gonna kill him either way. Is that correct, Malchus? There's people on the team that don't want that. You guys seem to be split on this. I know, what's happening?

I'm sorry, I'm going down, I can't say anything. Here's the thing, hold on now. What's Thoril's take on all this? Well, I was a little on the fence because, you know, I didn't... I mean, it was a vampire lord that made me a vampire in the first place, and completely just changed the way I had to be. I don't know, the fact that he took me over and made me start hitting my own group... Do you want to say one more thing before the decision is made? I'm real dense, though. You know, I'm glad I have... I'm the one that gets to make this decision, most likely, here.

I want to hear what you have to say, Ironheart. I'm darting back and forth from the group on the left, and, like, Slitwing Draconis, and the group on the right, like, he did this to all five of you. Imagine what he can do to Carter sneaking in with the Mist ability. He could sabotage their barracks. Imagine what he can do to them, without them even knowing that he's coming for him. But how can we trust him? I mean, as of right this second, he is surrendering to us, but that doesn't mean that once we get out into battle, he can't use that Mist to fly away and disappear.

Then he's gone. Oh, well. He does... But then we're risking our relationship with the clerics. No, they want him gone. That's all. We can give them the ultimatum, "Hey, if you want your fucking head lobbed off, you leave these nice people alone." He's begging. You're gonna shoot a guy in the back of the head, and he's just on his stomach? You would? If not, this time I'm not. Are we dropping out of initiative? Huh? I feel like the amount of conversation is indicating that we've dropped out of initiative. Is that the case? Otherwise, Dan should probably make his call, and we should move forward.

Well, either way, he's gotta make his call, so... You gotta make the call anyway. It's Rodswell's turn. I know, but I just wanna hear everyone's... You know what the orb thinks. Now, this is a bit of metagaming here, because in combat, you know what everyone thinks now. The orb's telling you, "Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it." It's not even a question for that. I'm sorry, the orb just sounded like Peter Griffin. Yeah. Oh man, it'd be so sweet when you'd kill this vampire. He's killed Draconis. Well, effectively. We can't get Draconis' opinion. Malchus wants him dead, Thoril wants him dead, Yinward wants him alive.

Thoril didn't give an opinion yet. He's still... he's still sleeping. The teammate you hit was me, and I want him alive. He also hit Draconis, and he's dead, by the way. He's down. He's not dead. He's unconscious. He's sleeping. He needs some orange juice and a cookie, but he'll be alright. Like, he did this because we broke in here. He was defending himself. We proved our point. I'll take him alive, but I'm not really wanting him, like, part of this whole thing. I don't want him to fight with us. I don't agree with him fighting with us. If we're talking about getting him to fight with us, I'm just gonna kill him right now.

If we want to take him alive and turn him into the town, I'm all for that. What about surveillance? Get him to sneak in and look around. I won't work with him, though. Fuck you. This seems like the group wants this, and one person doesn't. Minimum two people don't. Do you want him murdered right here? Guys, let's shut up. Rodswell, what are you doing? At least let the initiative advance so that if anyone else is gonna take action... Either do what you're gonna do, or let the initiative advance to the next person. We know what you're gonna do, so just please.

Well, no, no. It's Rodswell's call, and then we see who goes next after Rodswell. Yep. Go ahead. Who's next in initiative, Jason? Ironhide. Uh, Ironhide. Cool. Okay. So it's not Malkus, so someone else gets a chance to do something. Like I said, I... Fuck it. I guess I'll just go. Everyone's rushing me now. I don't... Oh, wow. Well, no, no, no. I was gonna say... I wanna... I'm... I'm... I'm presuming... Saying "I am hesitating" is a viable action. You can say "I am hesitating" and pass your initiative. I'm willing to take him alive, but if we're talking about taking him to battle with him, I'm not for that.

I'm hesitating. Okay. So, it's Ironhide's turn. What does Ironhide do? Gonna move up three spaces because once more lava. Can I throw Storm Rider at him? One more to space it. You know what? Let's... let's... let's... let's just say you can shout across the room. It's fine. Well, yeah, I know. I'm just moving closer because this carpet looks really nice. Alright. Like the W.E.A.T. version, right? So, like, if it makes it any better, we can... I can have a conversation with him, 'cause there's no threat. Like, in this room alone with him, there's no threat of him sucking the life oil out of me.

I think it's best if I was in here alone and you guys were just outside of the door. We could talk on this nice carpet. So you're asking for everyone to just drop out of initiative. That's the end of it. Yeah. Give you a chance to talk to them. We have the ability right now to talk to him rather than just kill him. After we fought him. I was doing whatever I could to make sure that we had this guy. Ironhide has worked this whole game for this? I'm sorry, I see... I see, like, an Enzio being on our squad and it's like, "That's actually pretty cool." It's like, "No, we have to kill.

We have to kill." It's like, "Well, we don't have to." I'm totally on Ironhide's side now. He convinced me. He swayed the fuck out of me. [laughter] I don't want to meta-game here, but I have a huge reason to want him dead. Okay, go ahead. How does everyone else feel about giving Ironhide the opportunity to talk to this guy? I'm stepping out. I don't understand what we accomplished. I've... I'm unconscious. Well, what do you have to lose, by... Well, you're gonna drag me by my tail. We killed... We took out the nest of vampires that was feasting on Aubrey, and now...

Here, you decide. Okay, so we've taken out the nest of vampires that was feasting on Aubrey. He doesn't have an army to offer us. He has himself. Jesus Christ, I told you what was going on. I just feel as though I'm talking to a brick- Ironhide, goddamnit, you're not always fucking right, man. There's different opinions. I'm saying this is what I'm offering. Like, I just don't get it. I don't get what you're offering. It's like, no, it's plain simple. We have an assassin right here that could take out Carter. He has a big ability- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Okay, okay, tensions are getting higher. Okay, everyone take a deep breath. I like it. Here's the options you have right now. The option which Roswell kind of passed on at the moment is to just flat out try and murder him. Ironhide wants to talk to him, but he wants to do it alone for whatever reason. I told you, he's not gonna lunge at me and suck my blood. Okay, so that's for the safety of the group. Yeah. Okay, he can attack you, but he can't- like, he's already kind of surrendered. But even if- you're saying even if you have a conversation with him, things get heated and he tries to attack again.

At that point, I can't like- I can't either. It's like, come on, would you stop? He's already busted up. Right, yeah. It's not working anymore. Right, so what you're saying is you want a shot to talk to him with no one else in the room for everyone's safety or whatever. Okay, and you've already kind of passed on murdering him unless- I mean, yeah, so Roswell kind of hesitated, so is that okay with everyone else that Ironhide gets a chance to talk to this guy alone, or do you want him to do it in front of you? Here, I'm gonna- okay, I hesitated. It's my move now?

No, it's Ironhide's move. Oh, I think he moved, though. No, no, no, he's asking if it's okay to talk to him alone. If not, he gets a chance to talk to him in front of everybody. Okay, 'cause I was gonna have him talk to us in front of everybody, but I would like to tie him up or something, like restrain him. He turned to mist. Yeah, that really- That's what I was thinking, it's like, oh yeah, the rope entered his intros, he's like *pew* Then how are we ever gonna restrain him and take him back? Like, I don't- if you wanna- Well, it's kind of- If you wanna talk to him, you can talk to him in front of us.

If you think- I don't think that's wise, but- No, no, so hold on, hold on, let me clarify. Are you saying that you want us to leave you to talk to him and not observe, or are you just saying- No, just stay outside the door, I said. The door's already crunked up, so- Y'all can still listen to him. Yes. I'm just saying, like, get out of the way, 'cause if you are next to him, he could launch to you and- I mean, if he wants to back off, that's fine, I'm just not leaving- I'm not leaving. So, okay, I think the worry is that Ironhide's trying to do something shady.

I'm trying to get him on our side, that's shady as fuck. Yeah, well no, people misinterpret his "I want you to wait outside the door" as "I don't want you to be able to listen to the conversation." Right. Okay. And now, especially after we went through an entire battle where he didn't help us once, like, in character, we wouldn't be trusting him very much right now. Oh, no, oh, absolutely, I completely get that. I understand that, but in character I was also, like, saying "Hey, maybe we could actually come to an agreement," like, I was saying things that weren't right.

Right, but in that same span of time, your friends are turning on each other, people are getting bitten, people are down, people- like, a lot of stuff happens where- But you didn't make one move to help any of us who were dying. Now, Silent Bob, let's just- I can see how you would look at it that way. Okay. Well, good. So, I mean, we'll back off, but I just don't want to leave him alone in there with him. Or I'll back off, I'm speaking for me. Being Rots. Bring Draconis with you. Okay, are you picking him up? I can't pick up Draconis, there's no way I can pick up Draconis.

You and Malchus could tag team- Well, I don't know what Malchus is doing. Malchus will put away his Blade of Annihilation, and wa- are we out of initiative? Sure, yes, now. Okay, and he'll walk up to Ironhide and he says, "You want this? You want this so bad? Fine." When this all blows up in your face, history gets to remember you as the monster. "I'm going to find out what I can do about this and this," and he points to the two bites on his neck. And he just walks out, he doesn't even stay to listen to the conversation. You wanna help carry me away? Oh man, that sucks. *laughter* Air cape swish, walk away.

By the way, let me talk about Malchus' brand new cape, because we didn't get into this- I meant to in the last episode. Um, Malchus' brand new- well, no no no, it's so- it's pretty baller. Let me describe what he bought. So he bought this awesome new raven cape, right? It's made of raven feathers. That cape swishes really well. It does! It's pretty badass. You essentially have wings now. Like it's just this awesome badass black flowing cape made of raven feathers. That's pretty baller. Just wanted to throw that out there. I have a bear hat's head. You do. You do have a bear hat.

This is some real Nordic shit. Um... Turns out if you take the head off of something, it's a hat now. *laughter* It just kind of rests on you and it's like a yarmulke. Hey, fucked up. I'm sorry. Alright, so who's dragging- Yeah, we're just gonna keep your name. Sorry. So, I know we're focusing way too much on this, but who's dragging Draconis away? I wanna know. Malchus can drag Draconis to the door. Malchus will help her drag Draconis to the door. Thanks, buddy. Can I, as I'm walking past Ironhide, can I talk to him? Just like, really quickly? And Malchus even yells as he's going out to anyone else who agreed with Ironhide.

It's on your heads too. It is on your heads. Kay. So, um, I stare at Ironhide, I look him in the eyes, and I say, "Ironhide, you have to understand that the choice you're making me make right now, if this blows up, is gonna make me turn on people that I care about. And people that- I mean, it's gonna hurt people that I care about, and it's gonna hurt people that I relate to. However, I'm only doing this because I understand that you are fighting people who you relate to. You're fighting your kind. But, I just wanna point out, they fought you first. These people that we're- these people that we might hurt right now are innocents.

And if this doesn't go well, then I just walk away. I'm not out like Malchus, but I'm over- I'm sorry, I'm still pissed off with Malchus, I god damn it. Where'd you guys drop my body? Well, you can be pissed off with Malchus. You're next to me. Alright, I guess you're out here with Malchus, right? Like, you're- So you guys are- yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Draconis's limp body is laying by the door, Malchus walked off- Yeah, Malchus is spider climbing past the lava pit and getting out of his head. Oh my god, you fucking monster. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm the Malchus.

Yes! Your breath smells so much. I wasn't- I understand where you're coming from as, you know, "Okay, yeah, it makes sense, let's try to get these guys on my side." But Rodswell can't. And it kind of felt like I was- I got pressured in real life to make that decision. No, I'm just explaining what I'm looking at as like, I want the most of matters. And to tell you the truth, I did not want this whole thing to go down the way it did, like kicking down doors, screaming like "party!" and charging into this place. That put us in a terrible state because they all have little syringes filled with vampirism.

And they can just stab most of us. Like, Draconis was the only one where it was like "I gotta get really in here, you know, I mean, this isn't fair." I mean, I get that, but you have to understand my character. Like, I understand, you know. But this whole thing didn't have to happen this way, where everybody's tie fighters, like, just like, just jumping past, shooting each other, it's like, they didn't have to go down this way. We didn't have to run in here screaming- I did! Like, I couldn't have agreed with you no matter what. I understand that it's everybody else that said "Yeah, we're doing this," right?

And so it was like, oh. Yeah, like me being Rodswell could not have agreed with you. And, you know. But you do understand that that's part of the whole roleplay thing, right? That you guys are gonna disagree and that's the fact that you have- At times I'm speaking like "Okay, but did you read the article of this?" It doesn't make any sense of like, Ironhide screaming "Did you read that article on the website?" It's like, I'm talking as a person. Right, and that's why I didn't think- like, that's when it felt like you were kind of trying to convince us out of game to do something, whereas I can't be convinced.

I- you know, Rodswell can't read an article. Rodswell can't- Rodswell knows, number one, that he has an orb telling him to kill these guys, that he has a town of clerics that worship his god telling him that they want these guys dead. He can't imagine, you know, he had a hard time working with Thoril, he never became very friendly with Thoril. And he sucked it up and did it. Because it was a situation that he walked into taking over for his dead son. That was the only reason that he was able to work with Thoril. He has no reason, especially a vampire lord, to come in and side with.

So it's just like, it seems like you, you know, I don't know how I as Rodswell could have done anything differently. You know? So arguing with me constantly about that, it wasn't going to make any- like, maybe Malkus, because I don't really see why Malkus was so, you know, against- The problem I had was with like, I was constantly saying, "Yeah, but we get this, this, this out of it." And then he would scream back at me, he's like, "Yeah, but I don't understand what you want out of this." It's like, that's when I got frustrated and started yelling, I said- Well, it's because Rodswell doesn't see them as beings that can join up with them and help them.

Rodswell sees them as feral creatures who he has to kill. Again, though, Thoril was a vampire. And he never- he didn't- he called Thoril- he called them names for a while and they ignored him. Right, but I mean, that should prove they're not feral, wild creatures. They can be reasoned with, they can think, they can- I'm just saying that as far as that part of the argument goes, that should put that to rest. Like, there was a few times where I was arguing, obviously, outside of character, I'm not going to be outside of this room and say, "But the article on the website says this and this and this." Don't you realize, Dan, what this is doing?

It's like, who's Dan? Well, but then, why were you arguing with me then, knowing that Rodswell can't change his mind? No, no, no, I'm talking to Dan the person, saying, "Why don't you understand that vampires aren't mindless beasts?" Like, I understand that, but my character- Dan is saying that he's not responsible for Rodswell's actions. It's almost like he's another person. No, I'm saying, like, if you understand Rodswell's mindset in this, I don't understand how you could try to- changing Dan's mind doesn't do anything. But there's several times while people are making their turns, they're saying, like, "I want to do this because I'm a team player." And, like, I understand, like, taking those cheap shots, like, "Alright, that's cool, whatever." But I'm doing this all for a reason, and it's not to be Bud's- I can't, like, just say it's like, "I'm friends with a vampire, I'm pretty cool, let me in the nightclub." I'm doing this because I want to win this fucking war however we can.

If we can get a one-shot on Carter, that's fucking awesome. And you know what, I guess also, Rodswell's kind of pissed off that you can't- that Ironhide can't be sensitive to his- to that. That he can't be sensitive to the fact that Rodswell is a cleric and shouldn't be working with him, and it is against his beliefs to work with him. Okay, but we're also killing, you know, Ironhide's people. Right, but I mean, still, it's like, we've been traveling together this long. Yeah. Rodswell also, he was pissed at Malkus, like, he's, you know- Right, but, like, okay, like, Ironhide doesn't look like most war forts, he's not looking at it as in, like, "Oh, what are your beliefs?" It's like, okay, this would aid us, like, he's looking at the cold hard numbers of it.

Like, this is like, "Oh, this could help us!" Why aren't we doing this? This is from point A to point B. I'm going to sacrifice a town, or a city, like a major city. He also said he would sacrifice Winterhaven to get the jump on somebody. It's obvious that I'm not- at this point right now, like, in the war sets, like, I have to be a monster in order to save the majority of people rather than just say, like- I get that, but in the same- I get that, but in the same way that Ironhide can't see it from Malkus- from Rodswell's point of view, Rodswell is so pulled the other way that he can't see something without looking at it with humanity.

Right, so, I mean, you're both coming at it from a- Right. From a very hard and fast perspective. Neither one of you are going to be convinced of the other one's argument, so it's kind of, you know what I mean? Right. Yeah, I get that, which is why I was just like, "Let's just go!" You know, and it was just- that's, you know, because- Right, but when a crucial decision hangs in the balance, it's kind of hard to just get- it's the treaty signing all over again. It was Malkus and Ironhide very- it's like, "No, no, no, we can't just go, because go means make a decision, and the decision is up for debate." The problem that I had with signing that treaty was, we can't go back there no matter what.

If Bree's in trouble, we can't go back there because we're in threat of war then, between Winterhaven and, uh, Winter- Overwatch, or I forgot what it was called before. Overwatch. First thing, Rodswell doesn't see a debate. Does that make sense? Like, he just doesn't- he doesn't get the idea that there's- The decision seems so obvious that it's like, "Well, we're killing this monster, right?" Yes, we're about to fight some vampires. They almost killed our friend here, Thoril, uh, you know, and- Although, I will say that it's really weird that you'd be so buddy-buddy with Malkus then.

Yeah. Malkus is basically a devil. Like, he's a devil that uses shadow magic to rend and destroy and eat souls, and that's- But Malkus- Malkus proved himself to- to Rodswell. Right, but then how come Thoril didn't prove to you that vampires could be- Thoril proved to you that he was never fucking just a mindless beast, he- he- Right. It's just weird that one is true and the other one isn't. Because- I'm not- I'm not gonna- Thoril never made any- I'm not gonna find necrotic energy. And Thoril never made any- I'm sorry, you're- Yeah, Thoril never made any attempt to prove the, uh, to prove it wrong.

Thoril sat in a corner and- and talked to himself. Like, he never made an attempt to Rodswell until Thoril became human. Malkus says- says things that are very- He's also an alcohol. -flowery poetic. And, well- He's not a cool person. Like, I'm just saying, Malkus says things that are very flowery and emotional and he wants to do the right thing, and then he'll take a shadow knife and stick people with it and eat people's souls. I'm just saying- Rock on. That, you know, while Thoril may have been mopey and everything, it wasn't like he sided against you or turned on you in combat in any way or didn't help you.

Like, he always helped you. The only time that Rodswell and Thoril ever had any kind of interaction, uh, at first, Thoril just said "whatever" and walked away. Yeah, that's true, but you guys fought together for a while before- I think it's- I think it's the thing where, like, where Thoril never made the attempt to be friendly to Rodswell. Thoril never made the attempt to show me that he was human. Or that he had humanity in him. Malkus has, to me, has proven the stereotype of tieflings wrong, because despite, yes, he'd still, you know, he doesn't do it to innocents, he doesn't do it to random people, he does it when we're fighting, and he does it against, you know.

So, he's done everything he can to work against stereotype, while Thoril, he was- Well, he did the same thing. He didn't pick off innocents, he did everything- he made so many accommodations for the group. He wasn't allowed to interact in major things, he wasn't, like, because he might do something- Yeah, he hid at places where it was like "oh, it's daytime, man, you gotta go inside." That's really funny, he wasn't even around, he was in the basement. He was sticking his head out of the basement, yeah. Thoril was the boy who lived, he was, he'd hide under the stairs and shit, so like- That, and the first time you actually seen the group, we were killing the Black Hand, like, we went over there and just murdered him.

We were hated villains at that point. We did something- Oh, after that, it was, yeah. I'm saying, like, right when we were ambushed, he came in, we were ambushed, and then we went right over there and killed him. But, they were bad, you know what I mean? It's like, that's how I looked at it. And, Malchus also, he had to realize that Malchus, they also had the connection over Duncan, too. Immediately, as well, which I didn't, which he did. I'm not saying that you wouldn't see the good Malchus. I'll give you that, you didn't say like, "you're a devil or whatever, but my son liked you, so..." Right.

I'm not debating that you'd see good Malchus. It's not like Malchus is evil. I'm just saying that if you're making those accommodations for Malchus, you kinda gotta do it. I don't have to, because I didn't, because- Okay. Oh, okay, hold on, hold on. The opening action between me and Malchus involved my son. I gave him a chance because of that, and then Malchus proved himself. I... I'm close-minded. I didn't give Thoril a chance. Thoril didn't prove himself to me. Thoril, when I approached Thoril and tried to do anything, he backed off and said whatever and left.

We, you know, and he showed me, yes, he showed me that we can control a vampire. That's what he showed me. That we can control a vampire. Oh, God. Wow. Sorry, that's- No, no, no, that's completely- that's- Okay, but wouldn't you be on board with this, trying to control this vampire? No, because this is a vampire lord. This is a vampire who's lived for 300 years, he's much more powerful than Thoril was. The idea that we can control this vampire, and also it's going against a group of clerics that worship my same deity, who've had problems with him for years.

So the idea that I'm gonna walk in and make buddy-buddy with this guy after I just swore, swore to a priest that I was going to rid him of the problem. But we are. Rid of the problem doesn't- there's different ways you can rid a problem. Okay, I appreciate that we're having a complex philosophical discussion, but if we really truly believe Justin needs to go to bed at a reasonable hour, we should probably let him talk to the vampire and close the session. Alright, vampire, you with us? Cool. Sup? Best episode ever. No, it's just- I'm sorry, it just feels like no one understands where he's coming from.

I understand Rodswell perfectly, and I am right behind Rodswell, but I- But not literally, in town, you're in town. At this point I'm so invested in seeing Ironhide get his that I'm letting this blow up into space. I can't wait till you get yours, buddy. Oh, man. He's got teamwork! Not really. He caused almost the end of the world, I think that's called getting his. No, that's not how it affects him. No, he's never really accepted that at all. Malchus has not accepted one inch of that. It's Holocaust and Iron. He hasn't accepted to get it, though. Yes you do!

We have to finish the session. This is me not going into it. Okay, hold on. We'll finish the session, then I feel like we have some things to work out. I do have to say, I think Dan has sort of sold me into wanting to get rid of said vampire lord. You're just easily swayed. That's why you're so easily dominated. Wow. Just kidding. No willpower, that's what it is. Alright. Okay, here we go. We're going to talk about this other thing. I'm going to mind control you and you're going to be cool with this. Hold on, okay. This makes me sound evil. Ironhide and Edward are in the room for the most part alone.

The rest of the party is by the door except for Malchus, who has left for town. Presumably, he's just leaving. I'll try to chop down a tree real quick and throw it over the lava pit there for him. I was going to use the doors, but that's good, thank you. Oh, there we go. No, use the doors. Malchus will go to town. He needs to get this looked at. We're taking this call. Okay. Ironhide, open it up. What do you want to try and say to this guy? He's still on the floor, just trying to get his shit together, rubbing his eyes. Alright, I'm going to offer my hand to pick him up.

Does he accept? Again, still bleary-eyed, he sees that you're offering your hand and he takes it. He's got these real sharp fingernails and shit that just wrap around your gauntleted hand there. He accepts the leg up and he'll stand. He's still very much out of breath, which is kind of a rarity for him. We don't have water or anything. I don't have water, I don't think so. No, he's not really interested in water anyway. I'll just start opening it up with the talk then. Do you have any idea what's going on outside right now, the last few years? Still out of breath?

Yeah, just, I'm trying to, how do you mean what's been going on? With the war forge, with King Carter. Yes. With the attacks on Winterhaven. Yes. He's trying to, you can tell in his voice, what the fuck does that have to do with me? That kind of like, that tone of voice. The fact that a war is going to spill out soon, that could actually take food away from you. I don't see how I could be in a position where food could be taken from me any further. We came in here without me even trying. Actually talking sense into you, not raising my sword at you at all.

These people came in here and beat you down so significantly, that it took you bending down to beg for their forgiveness. That sounds like an intimidate check. Yes I will. Okay. For sure. For sure, I am 21. I'm a script. Okay. So, I just hear frantic touching. Sorry, I, I'll mute my mic. No, no, that's cool, that's cool. Okay, that's not going to quite intimidate him, but like he is hearing what you have to say. Um, you do realize that you basically beat down a bunch of mutts. I'm going to categorize you as a mutt. I know who you are. I wasn't speaking of myself.

The fledglings you've just defeated, they were fifth generation. They were basically no better than mortals. Do you really think that if I had been invested with a group of my significance, that you could have done anything to us? Truth be told, I was in the midst of handling this situation when you broke down my door. What are you talking about? Did you think I was going to let them live? They're an insult to our race, they're just more mouths to feed. So you're saying that you're mostly a loner. I had a partner up until recently. We've lived in town and survived mostly on small animals.

I didn't live to be 300 years by attacking townsfolk. I didn't want the unwanted attention. However, he saw fit to try and create an army. We saw how well that worked out. I had to dispose of him. To what end would you use this army? I didn't want an army. Again, I didn't live to be this long by attacking townsfolk. Okay, what did he want the army for? His goal was to overtake Aubrey. For what reason, I have no idea. Why would you want to fight that kind of... holy? Again, I didn't. I'm asking as somebody who doesn't have to go through hunting for food. I don't eat, so...

Why would somebody want to attack that kind of town? Why not just get as far as you can from it? I personally have lived here my entire life. I enjoy the area, I have no intentions of moving. Unless... any kind of looks towards the group at the door. Unless I was forced to. I don't suppose there's a way that you and the priest can actually live in harmony. So do you have another place scouted out? Because obviously this one just won't do. Once more he looks over at the door. Because like... He eats small animals. The ones that were killing townspeople are dead now.

Yeah, but also those guys aren't going to want him here anymore. So you're asking him that he... Yeah. You don't know that yet, we haven't... Is there anything like Rotswell? They don't want him here. I find it doubtful that the people of Albury can be trusted. They've hunted us for decades in this area. Alright. If I must, I will relocate. Have you scouted any places closer to... Overwatch? Why would I want that kind of attention? It's a heavily fortified location with thousands of residents. They don't leave the tower that much. That castle. You could just put yourself somewhere towards the back of it.

For what purpose? What if I told you that there's somebody there? That if you can get to him, he would be the most... The greatest kill that you could have ever imagined. My dear boy, I've lived for three centuries. If there was someone alive that was as epic as you've described them, I would know about them. If you're talking about Carter, I want no part of it. You're telling me you don't want the blood of a king? King. Ha! And he just kind of throws his head back. Um... Are you suggesting some sort of pact? Yeah. And what would I get out of this? You'd be able to walk out of here alive.

Can I speak up? Sure. You'd be yelling across the room. Yeah. Rodswell moves forward. What the fuck? He's keeping his distance a bit, but he's going to move forward. Any size. What if there's a way that you could keep this lair and the town folks be happy? Do you really think I want to live underground, like a rat feeding off of small vermin? To be honest... And he's looking over at Draconis. That was the first person I fed on in quite a long time. It's quite hard to go back to small vermin after that. That shit was good, wasn't it? [laughter] Your milkshake makes all the boys come to the...

So... What you're saying is that from this point forward, it's only going to be a bigger game? I have self-restraint. What I'm saying is that... I wish to live above ground. I had a manor in Aubrey once. I would like to reclaim my premises at the very least. If I am to do some sort of deed for you. Can I ask who lives there right now? Does anybody know in this room? Anybody? No, you guys wouldn't know. It's Mr. White. He lives there. Terry? Terry, old Terry White. I mean, yeah, it is inhabited by someone. There's a guy, the head priest, I think his name's White, so...

Oh, Angus White. Yeah, that's not his house. I imagine somebody high up lives there now. Or maybe it's condemned, who knows? Maybe we can get lucky. Maybe it's a well-to-do shopkeeper. Oh, I hope. That motherfucker. So it looks like Ratswell... Do you have any ideas? What do you think about this? Do you think Ratswell would do the most? Have a go? I don't know how we can take him out of here and go to town with him and expect them to let him live amongst them. I don't know if we're going to be able to convince them of that. I was thinking of a way that we could possibly let him live, help him relocate, as long as he helps us out in the battle and maybe gives us something that we could take to the town to make them believe that we've destroyed everything down here.

But if he's not willing to relocate... I would be more than willing to speak to the town's management. In a controlled environment, of course. What do you mean by controlled? They would attack me on sight. And how are we to believe that you won't attack them on sight? To what end? I kill the town's management and then what? You'd be standing right there, you wouldn't stand a chance. If it would make you feel better, you can have your weapons drawn. Do you really think that I'm the last remaining vampire in this area? Can I do a history check or no? A history check really wouldn't.

Like, you could do an insight check. I have a passive insight of 25, so... You do that. Well, you still gotta do an insight check, because that's if someone's trying to fool you. Yeah, yeah. That's where your pass is. Isn't that kind of it? Go ahead and roll insight. Okay, that's plus 15. 28. 28. That sounds true as shit, that he is not the last vampire in this area. And the way he says it makes you think that there are perhaps many more vampires in this area. So, can I get something straight? Sure. His end goal here is to have a place above ground. Yes. That's it.

This is beneath him. This is how, like, living underground, scrounging around for rats, this is beneath him. I understand. He's a very fancy man. Oh, oh, wait. But, but, let me finish. Okay. If we can't get him to manor, will something else do? Well, you have an excellent bargaining chip right now. I mean, I asked him if he's willing to relocate. He didn't answer me, so... That's not his preferred. That's definitely, he would love to try and get his old digs back first, and then if he had to relocate... But what if I can promise him maybe better digs in the future?

Are you suggesting that to him? Yeah. That was real timid. I just... But there's a big emphasis on that maybe. What are you suggesting? Hi, my name's Yennard Firestomp. King Yennard Firestomp. And I currently own a Thunderspire. Now... He kind of rolls his eyes when you say "king." Really? Really? I remember I was pretty kingly standing over you. Ruled you, son. Anyway... Believe it or not, I do own Thunderspire. A lot more extravagant than your manor if we can't get that back. Now, I'm planning on moving my minotaurs out of that in the future... And you're free to have it, if that works out.

Hmm... A tower... And what of Aubrey until then? How will I know I won't simply be hunted? Because we're going to tell them that you're dead and they will not know that you're helping us. Oh, man... Those are my conditions. Okay, after you say that, like he's considering it, and after you say that he kind of narrows his eyes at you... I was looking at Ironhide when I said that. I know, but after you say that, he's gonna... You motherfucker, you don't get to tell me, like that kind of air about you. Just gonna charge him, "kaplar!" and grab him. Kaplar... Sir, I was standing over you and I let you live.

I'm still very much narrowing his eyes at you. He hates being in this position. Um... Very well, you have me at a disadvantage. What is it you require of me? Is there anything that you can give me to make it seem as if you're dead? Something of yours that I can present to them that they will recognize? -Kapow, that sword. -He's boring. That's kind of the only... That's his sword. -We'll get it back. -Can I say something? Out of character, completely just like us. So we're not going with him speaking to the management of Aubrey. We're just gonna go with, like, he's dead and if he ever pops up in the future...

I think that's honestly, I think that's the best course of action right now. If you really think, and I'm going to trust you on this, if you really think that he's not gonna pop up in the future, and he's not gonna be in effect on Aubrey later, then I will let him live and I will let him live out his days and I will let him help us. We are not letting Aubrey know. Because if we let Aubrey know, that's gonna jeopardize our relationship with him. I understand where you're going with this, but I can't obviously prove that. Of course, he gave scouts on him.

I'm not asking for you to prove it, I'm asking for you... -You're putting your neck on the line. -You're putting your neck on the line on this. -You already did. -Coat sign, yes. You got a coat sign there. I can't prove that he's ever... I can't swear that he's never going to attack Aubrey. But it sounds like he doesn't want to. If you're not gonna stick your neck on the line, if you're not gonna co-sign on this... I'm putting my neck on the line for the fact that I've wanted to actually talk to him before and not draw in a weapon. Like, all this entire episode, my neck's been on the line.

I'm saying that from what he says is true, that he hasn't attacked the town, he doesn't want to. He would have done it... He had 300 years to do it and he hasn't done it. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Like, it doesn't seem like he wants to. Right. So I'm just asking you to take the responsibility if something does happen in the future. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. That's all I was asking for you to do. Yeah. If you can do that, then we can let him disappear until it's time for him to help us. He can come and help us. Aubrey doesn't have to know. He can go off and live in Thunder Spire and have his kingdom up there, way far away from Aubrey, and...

I'm fine with that. Alright, so this is what you're proposing. That he leave, like ASAP. Just get out, leave, go. And then the Power Rangers call... Shit, who called the cops? The Black Rangers show up. Sorry. So you're suggesting that he leave town, get out, and then you're going to take his sword, bring it back to Aubrey, and present that as "We did it." Well, I mean, he was the one who said his sword I was willing to take. Right, but I mean, that's the thing that everyone would... I mean, he doesn't... I mean, he wears fancy clothes and stuff, but it's not like, "That's his cape!" That kind of thing.

That sword, though, is... And taking someone's ashes back, they could probably just do an analyze, and like, "This isn't him. This is like weak-ass shit you brought me." "This is weak, son. What happened?" I would prefer to have some proof, yes. This is Ditch Vampire. What are you doing here? This is all seeds and stems. What are you bringing me here? So that is... Okay, so... And you're going to lie to the people of Aubrey and present that he's dead, we took care of it, and blah blah blah... I know I was going to, but yes. Well, you as a group. Like, they're going to look at the whole group.

It's like, you guys collectively, even if you're not saying anything, that's a lie by the mission. Because we could have done the whole, like, where everybody... Like, the management and him and us all go and talk, but like... This is your... Like, this... We have to do this or you're not on board. Now, if we're telling them that he's dead, that's an immediate disqualifier for the matter. Yeah. Because he's not obviously going to be able to live there if he's dead. Right, but you said you were going to give him Thunder Spire, so... Right, that was... And at the same time, if they ever get word that's like, "Oh yeah, Thunder Spire, that's under new management." Some Dracula Lord.

Yeah. And in the meantime, he has no place to live. Like, he's going to be out on the lam, essentially. I mean, here, I'll also give you... I'll give you this option too. If you guys want to go in, take him with you, and try to deal with Aubrey, I'm not going to go in with you. You can take him and you can do that yourself, but I'm not going to stand there with you. And I've been the one that they've been wanting to communicate with the most, but I'll give you that option if you want to do that. I just can't support it. I can't be there and support it. Good question.

If he's lived there for 300 years, he would know... the older people would recognize him. Does he know anybody from town that would recognize his face? As a former resident? Well, I mean, it's... That guy used to live in the manor. He's more legend than anything. Yeah, but would anybody old enough there be able to vouch that he's never... Um, I can't tell you that. All they know is that people get taken in the night and they never come back. I mean, there'd be several indicators. Like, you're bringing him back in cloaks and stuff so he won't burst into flames in the sun.

Like, that's a pretty big... Man, he's monumentally pale. And, like, I mean, anybody could be up in their history. Oh, no, we're not trying to... I think you're misinterce... I'm asking... I'm asking if anybody there recognized him in particular because he was a resident for so long. It would know that he wasn't... A few of the older people might do that. And they would be able to vouch that he's... Yeah, he lived up at that house for years and nothing ever happened. Do you know what I'm saying now? Did he actually live in that mansion when he was a vampire or was he just...

Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. I misunderstood. Okay. Oh, totally. But the problem is people started disappearing and, you know, that's... So they wouldn't vouch and say he's good because they think that he did it. But they could... But they'd be able to say he was there forever and nothing happened. Right. Right, but then something did happen and whether... You know what I mean? Well, it's just safer to kill him. Abomination and all. That kind of thing. It seems like, you know... Once they found out he was a vampire, it was a wrap. The most logical choice would be there's a fucking vampire up there and people start disappearing.

There you go. Yeah. What I'm saying is if you guys want to call Parley and take him in and try that, that's fine. I'm going to go get a beer with Malkus in the end while you do so. I think Malkus has to be there in order to speak. Oh, Malkus? I don't think... I don't know if Malkus wants any part of that. Yeah, he's out. I suppose I can do something. And I'm out, so... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You want to get your way and then you want Malkus to vouch for you? I want to get all of our way by everybody being able to go back to their places, you know. Without the whole Warforged thing taking over everything.

That's why I wanted to do this. So we work as a team and we accomplish this difficult challenge of not all these fucking races die. Hahahaha. Figure it out yourself. So now it's all about team. It was about team before all this. We don't have these problems on group two. I'm just throwing that out there. So you have your options. Do you want to make him look dead or do you want to go in there and try to convince the town? It's on you. If you're going to walk out... We're not getting out of him anyway. I'm not walking out. I'm not... I mean, I'm just not... If you're not going to have any part of this, then that is awesome.

Then I'll walk into town. If it's just going to be me, that's awesome. Draconis is still dying. No one... Yeah, absolutely. But we can heal Draconis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Draconis will be fine. He's just bleeding out. He's good. I don't know why the healer never grabbed on him and said, "You're good." Because I didn't have any healing left. I tried. He didn't. He was out of... He was fresh out of healing. Can't kiss him? Kiss the boo-boos? Okay, one second. So you're discussing all this openly in front of him, I'm guessing. Yeah, why not? So he's going to kind of hold up his hand.

Am I to understand you're going to attack the Overwatch openly? We're going to... The plan is... Within a few weeks, they're going to attack Winterhaven. We have to form some kind of army. And counter-attack them or stop their attack outright. That's the only thing that we have right now. Do you have anything better? Do you value the lives of your enemies? The human ones? Me? Yeah, the humans inside Overwatch, right? Correct? Yes. I look at them as enemies. Are there civilians in Overwatch? Yeah, there's civilians outside. Oh yeah, there's plenty of civilians. There's tons.

It's not all... Yeah, it's a big, huge city. So are you saying that out loud? If that's what needs to be done in order to win this war, then... So you're saying you're fine with those people dying? Yes. What if I were to say... I might have help for you then? Like what? As I've stated, I am not the only vampire remaining in this area. As a matter of fact, there are many of us... Driven underground. Rod's well can't be here to elicit this. He walks away. Awesome! Okay, by the way, the orb is just... Fuck it, do it, do it, do it. Kill him, kill him, kill him! And the further you get away, the angrier it is at you.

What if we were to strike a bargain? We don't want to live underground any further. Alright. What if we were to take a section of land... Perhaps this thunderspire... That the king over there... I will cut you. That didn't sound respectful, but placed keep up. I feel like even Jason used quotation marks with his fingers as he did that. I am king, and I will kill you. And as long as we aren't harassed... We will be free to live our lives there, unmolested. Once you take over thunderspire and I hand over the keys... Because I'm king, that's my house. Again, rolls his eyes.

I'll roll my axe into your neck. You can't use it as a base to start your big feed house. That's not going to work. Livestock, animals, cool, no people. I think I understand what he wants. You want to roll in... Or you want the castle in Overwatch, correct? I wasn't thinking of that, but if that's on the table... Well, I'm saying, like, what do you want those people for? As cattle? No, nothing quite so vulgar. But if you plan on attacking them... I could very easily persuade several of my... Stronger... Members to attack with you. This wouldn't be such an open thing on the battlefield, of course, but...

If you promised us a feeding, then... Many of them haven't tasted human in... Many decades. What if we can come up with a deal where we donate blood vials to you? Rather than murdering, you just get blood from them every now and then. No biting necessary, just drinking. Protection money. That, and to keep you fed so you don't die. Well, we can raise cattle. We're talking about people, not cattle. No, people. Cattle, plants of thousand horns, fucking thunderspire, no people. No people. People would be preferable. People wouldn't be preferable. So, okay, you're offering him, like, deliveries of blood every so often?

Yeah. How are you gonna pull that off? People can donate blood, can't they? I mean... Yes, they can. I mean, they can. It beats their villages getting raided because of bloodthirsty vampires. So it is protection money. Yeah. I'm looking at it like... Well, it is what it is. It is protection money. At the end of the day, if you want to... It's a handsome neck, be ashamed of something happened to it. That's what you're doing. We're also donating to you so it's like, we know they're fed, we don't have to worry. They have a guaranteed feast, why would they ever try to attack?

That doesn't make any sense. This show of arms of, like, we have an army right here, it means we're united and we are obviously not gonna take any shit from just, like, a group of vampires. Even though, as strong or as many as they may be, they couldn't take down an army. Oh, fuck no. No, no, no. Their thing is, they're ninjas, essentially. They just run away. Yeah, they just, they're not into being hunted, they're into, like, it's the rush of feeding. That's what it is. Like, they have to feed. Like, imagine being a heroin addict, but, like, the rush of feeding, like, you have to have it.

And there's no negative benefits to feeding, except for the whole being hunted thing. That's the only thing that they're, you know, so, yeah, yeah, he would take that deal in a second. Yeah, if you can back that up, he would set off to convince everyone else, like, yeah. He'd be bringing his colleagues to the table. Okay. So he's gonna hold out his hand, yeah. There's still the matter of Aubrey, so what do you want to do, okay, what do you want to do with that, like, right now? Okay, so, right when we're about to shake hands, like, right before that, we march you up there heavily, quote, so you don't actually get dead by the sun.

A few, a selected few of us will go up there, escort you to the leader, and you can explain to him exactly what's been going on, who's been causing the trouble, and tell him you personally is taking care of it. You want me to march into Aubrey, in the daylight, completely unarmed. Would it make you feel better if we did it at night? Can you guarantee my safety? I can guarantee you, after all of this, if you leave there with your life, you'll leave there as a free man, and not as a hunted beast. Doesn't sound like I'm going to leave there with my life at all.

You weren't gonna leave here with your life. You're kind of backed up into a corner. Very well. And you can guarantee at least that I'll have a chance to plead my case. I can guarantee you that much, yes. I can stand in front of you long enough, sure. Very well. I suppose one of us can actually go to Aubrey, tell them to expect us, rather than this be a giant surprise. I think, unless anybody wants to run inside the room... No, no, no, Rodswell and Malchus are gone, unless Thorold... Well, Draconis is unconscious. Yep. I guess Rodswell stepped over him to get out of the door.

Probably. He just went, "Ohh," and he just... I hope he brushed past him, so he just kind of kicked his arm out, so he's laying now on his back, rather than on his side. So, unless Thorold or Yenward wants to say anything, this deal is brokered. That's the end of it. I said what I had to say, no people. Yeah, Thorold just leaves. And so a deal shall be brokered with a handshake, and we will see how it goes 17 years from now, if there are any regrets about sudden deals with shady parties. Okay. So, then these... But it was... I'll use the first conditionary if I can pull off what I'm planning.

Yeah, well, he's not looking at it that way. He's looking at it like, "Okay, we have a deal." I told him that. He could get a fire for a while with some... Yeah, but Ironhide didn't. He made the deal with Ironhide. That's fine. He can try to take it early if he wants. It'll work out real great for him. Wow. So, yeah, so Ironhide and Yenward here are going to shake hands. Cool. They... Somebody want to pick me up? I got you. Eat your face. So we're going to save this in a book later called Jarek's Folly. Well, I mean, you know, shit, I'm just trying to gather up as many people as I can.

Is this kind of... could this be a terrible idea? Why not? Shoot. You know? Edwards gonna ask Ironhide. Your tiefling friend ran out of here in a hurry. I assume you two are enemies? Friends. We have disagreements every now and then, but that's what keeps us packed. So, well oiled. I saw that one of the mutts put his teeth into him. Ah, he shouldn't be... he shouldn't be too worried about turning. Though he will probably be sick for a while. If his blood's strong then he won't have a problem with it. The fledglings with thin bloods. They couldn't pass along the genes to...

Sounds racist. It is kind of racist. Like he would very much look down on these like these are fucking... Thin bloods. Thin bloods. Like they're fucking... these guys' shits are weak. Don't, don't... yeah. So, you guys didn't read the article, but let me explain. The longer... okay. This guy's a first generation vampire. This guy is hot shit. Top of the line vampire. Like he is the shit. So if he were to bite someone, that someone, if they lived through it, would become a second generation vampire. And so on and so on. Problem was, the guy that was running around, like he was kind of... he was like a fourth generation vampire anyway.

And his bright idea was like, well we'll have an army. We're gonna have an army and we're gonna turn... we're gonna invade Aubrey. Problem is, is one, this guy's the shittiest guy to be turning... Yeah. ...fledged vampires anyway. And two, that just means you have more mouths to feed which... Enhances the problem of being hunted anyway. The more people you feed on, the more priority it is for even common folks to be like, okay, this needs to be nipped in the butt. That could have been me. So, that kind of explains many questions about Thoril, if you were to read the article.

So, um... So what the hell does that mean for me? Dead. Uh, well, in the article I also talk about races that have a high tolerance for things like this. Dwarves and Dragonborn are right at the top of that list. Oh my god. Dwarves because they have a natural resistance to things like poisons and things like that. Just foreign things in their body. Dragonborn... Dragonborn are interesting in that they kill their own. Any old, any weak, anyone born with defects, anyone sick, anyone, like, they just want the... they're like the Spartans of Theria. So they've refined their gene pool to a...

Like the Nazis of Theria. Well... Don't judge. I mean, they're really... they will kill their own in order to keep their bloodline strong. To keep the master race... [Laughter] How impaired do they have and what color eyes do they have? That's all that matters. So... that's... that's... that's... you'll... again, you'll probably be ill, but you already feel ill, so it probably won't affect you. You're probably dying, so... You're... you're... you're not doing too well anyway, so yes, that may aggravate what you already have, but it's... you're not going to turn into a vampire.

You guys, it's been a lot of fun, but Alana has just accepted my application for group two, so see ya. [Laughter] Oh, can I come? She is... whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Alana doesn't run group two. She does when she's the only representative on Skype. [Laughter] Well... Um, I think that'll pretty much wrap things up for the evening in-game. God damn it, guys, I think we're starting to get an army together. Yeah. That was... that was probably the most arguing you guys have done in a very long time. There was a lot. It was like fireworks. Well, because, you know, Ironhide stepped into the room and said, "No!

I'm not gonna do it!" and... [Laughter] You were saying a lot of that shit, too, I mean, like... I... no, I didn't... I mean, I went with it. I tried, man. I tried at the... I stayed in the room, I didn't rush out, I tried to come up and talk to you, I tried to get in, you know, I tried to say, "This is how we can compromise on my end," but it's just, you know... Your compromise, though, was we can bring him over there and if they want to kill him, fine. But it's like that, but I... there was no compromise. Like, I... I compromised letting him live. And then I compromised again when I tried to give you an option as to where I will be happy and you could be, but then it just, like...

What was that? There's no listening to me. What was that? What was the second compromise? I tried... I tried to come in and say, "Hey, look, we can do this. If you... if you... if you are... oh, wow, we can go and, you know, let him help us, if we... he'll relocate, we don't have to tell him he exists, all that kind of stuff, and then..." That's what we're doing, isn't it? I thought you were still going to take him into town, though. That was part of it. No, if... if you're walking off with a sword, then we can't do that. I don't have a sword. When you guys... when... when you guys rejected my offer, I left.

I said I was okay with that. I just said that there's going to be a problem down the road when it's like, "Who owns that place? Oh, okay, the Lord Vampire, well, this town's not going to be very happy." Because I... because my... because I said... I said, "If you want to get, you know, if you want to take him into town, you're going to do it on your own. I'm not going to be part of it." And you said, "Okay, that's fine." And then I turned around and walked away. So I didn't hear the rest of the whole conversation. No, like, I might be wrong. I might have said something, like, out of anger or something.

I was like, "No, we're going to do this then." But, like, from what I gathered, I thought we were going to let this guy go off, and he was going to grab his posse and come back with, you know, Glocks. I think that's what you ended up at, but possible doesn't know that. I think that's where... It's because you came switch-block away, though. That was the problem. It's because... because you said that you wanted to take him into town and meet the mayor. So I'm like, "Fine, do it. I'm going to have no part of it." That's... I mean, that's... I gave you an option.

You said, "I'm going to take him into town and meet the mayor." And I said, "Okay, well fine. I'm not going to have a part of that." And then I walked away. Believe me, I'm not looking at this like this is the right way. Like, to Ironhide, like, this is a way to go. Like, the straightforward way of dealing with the problem is grabbing as many people as possible, even if that means being a complete and utter monster. Like, I know that, like, dealing with these vampires... We could just kill this guy and have it end, but he can also bring a whole shitload of other vampires that were higher class than these guys.

See, and I... Okay, and I guess I don't understand how Ironhide can't see how that would be a problem with the clerics. I know that the clerics aren't going to be working next to them on the battlefield, but they will be aware that they are helping us at this point. So, how is it going to be okay with them that the vampires are with us? That was my whole point, and you never really answered that question. And that's why I kept saying you're not answering that. So, well, the problem... Not a problem, but your condition was, the only way I can get on board with this is if we tell those people, the clerics, that he's dead.

And it's like, "Well, I have a problem with that." But, like, it could easily be resolved as, like, he's gone, he's not going to bother you anymore. He moved out. Right, but I'm backing up during the battle. Because, like, the question I kept asking you was, "How are the clerics going to accept that we're using vampires?" And I never got an answer on that. Well, they're probably going to be okay with it because there's a chance, there's a good chance that they're going to die. They're not going to be okay with it. They're not going to be okay with it.

Yeah, and we're also not up to that yet. So, we can't really say... I am a cleric, I can, and I was trying to tell you that, and Ironhide wouldn't accept it. Well, look, okay, here's the thing. Ironhide got his way this time, and, look, at certain times, the powerful personalities in this party are going to get their way at any given moment. But you can't beg the other people to be happy about it. Like, you can get your way, but you can't say, "Also, you have to smile in the pictures." Yeah, that's kinda true. Yeah. That's kinda true. So, we gave this to you, and next time we get in a big argument like this, I'm going to tell you to shut the eff up and I'm going to run somebody through.

So... That's how it's going to be. By the way, I want to point out, Rod Swell's back down every time. He's got one coming. Okay. This is just Group 1's chemistry. This is just... Wait a second, wait a second. When did Rod Swell back down every time? Every time he gets in an argument with Malchus or Ironhide, he... Malchus or Ironhide are always, like, Malchus or... Like, Rod Swell eventually goes, "You know what? Fine. Fuck it. Just do it." Dude, you were the main focus in that fight between Rod Swell and Ironhide. No, no, but he's saying you got your way at the end.

Yeah. And during the treaty, I was against Malchus, but Malchus got his way. So what I'm saying is, Rod Swell has one coming at some point. Yeah, Rod Swell finds himself in a lot of contrary positions, but he's bent over backwards to be reasonable for the rest of us. In his defense. It should probably be his turn to lead the next madness. Next time there's a decision, I'm going to yell at you a lot, but then I'm going to cede my position. Yell at who a lot? Rod Swell. I'll make sure it's on something important, though, too. I won't just half-ass it. You're going to have Gannaroid now Kool-Aid.

I told you this already. No, yeah. It's, you know, I... My big question was just, like I said, I don't see how the clerics are going to be at all okay with us using Manfighters. Which is why I was like, we could not tell them, we could hide it, we could do all that. But as of... Okay, now, we can address that later, but as of right now, all Rod Swell knows is... You turned his... You went on to talk about meeting with the mayor and taking him to the mayor and stuff like that. Right, that's what he knows. So, we can address that next episode if you want to.

If you want to, that's cool. Or we don't tell you. Like, I'm looking at this not like what's good for the war right now, and then afterwards it's just winning this war, that's it. Afterwards I know there's going to... I imagine there might be a fallout between clerics and vampires, but... I'm just... No, I'm afraid we're going to lose the clerics right now. Nah. Because they were going to be with us even if we didn't kill the vampires. Right, but they can't work with the vampires, that's what I'm saying. They're going to be shadow assassins anyway, they're going to be behind enemy lines.

They're not going to be on front lines, they're going to be beyond that. They're not even going to see them.