Ash and Rubble

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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I like it. I am Jake. I play Draconis, the Dragonborn Fire Mage. Justin. I am Justin Massey and I play Jarek Ironhide. Robert. I'm Robert Wiesahan. I'm playing Malchus Grimnus, spooky, spooky tiefling warlock. With his blade. Yes, it's all about blades. Of darkness. Of incredible darkness. Hi, I'm Tom. I play Yanra. He's an ooey gooey Yanra of Minotaur Fighter. I stumble through it. And you practiced. You almost broke your neck but you recovered. Tyler. I'm Tyler. I play Thoros Songsteal, a human ranger. And Dan. Hi, my name is Dan Phelps. I play Rodswell Joy Batam, human warpriest.

So, episode... what was it, 32, right? 32. That was a thing. So, okay. Lots of stuff happened this last episode. Let me give a quick recap. You guys decided to kick the door wide open to Edward's little rat's nest den thing he had going on in the caverns. It was pretty cool. I liked it. Now, we found out a lot of stuff when that happened. So, you guys got the jump on these vampires, most of them. And you used your holy water, which had no effect. Which means that holy water was bullshit. So, I imagine at the very least Yanra has a bone to pick with Artemis.

Let me talk about Ironhide for a second. There are... so, imagine this world of adventurers where people kind of link arms and they go out and form these little parties. And they kill monsters and they split treasure and they do... okay. So, there are few sins egregious enough to get you booted out of these parties or flat out killed. Like, in certain circles, Ironhide would have been murdered after this confrontation. He flat out did nothing during that... he didn't back up his teammates. He did not draw a sword. Nothing. That's a big deal. Because if you don't have trust, then what do you have?

You got busted. So, that's probably something he's going to have to answer for at some point. Draconis was laying in a pool of his own vomit and fucking blood. That was the end of... yeah, no one picked him up. As a matter of fact... He's covered in vomit. I think I was drugged. Teammates walked over him to get out of the building and... Well, teammate. Well, okay. Look, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm still in negative two, by the way, right now. You're still dying. Someone should fix that. We'll get to it in just a second. The other thing is... Rotswell had pretty much ignored the orb when it was telling him to murder Edward.

Flat out murder. You guys wiped out this party of vampires and you had Edward at your mercy. He surrendered. So, he is in your custody now. Ironhide eventually did get his way by going against the entire party for the better part of three hours. Not in-game, but definitely for the show. It was only an hour when it was edited down. Yeah, I know. Let me tell you something, folks at home. That was a long conversation and I parted down to what we got on the show. So, yeah. I figure if we busted Yennward's balls for what he did to become king... Ironhide's gotta take his licks too.

To be fair. So, what we're gonna do is we're gonna start out with... So, that's what I'm curious about. Where the fuck is everybody? Because everybody was backflipping out and inside the door. Okay, here's what happened. I can tell you where I'm at. Oh, shit. The ground. Let's go to the map. Draconis was drug. Here's the funny thing about this. Draconis was drug. Face first, across the floor to the doorway. He wasn't healed. Instead of someone healing him, he was drug. Interesting. So, Malkus left for town first. Rodswell followed fairly closely behind. So, what we're gonna do is...

Malkus would be in town, correct? He went back to Aubrey. Yeah, he went to look for clerics to assess the danger of his vampire bites. Okay. Okay, so let's start with Rodswell. So, Rodswell left the cavern after... So, Ironhide and Edward are pretty much talking about some sort of parlay back in Aubrey. So, that would mean bringing this three centuries old vampire into town, where he's obviously being hunted and not welcome and all that, just to try and garner some sort of truce or ceasefire or something. Rodswell wanted nothing to do with that and left, correct?

Correct. Okay. So, the orb is in your ear the entire time you're leaving. And by the time you reach the outside, like you're outside of the cavern, this thing is gonna cause you intense pain to get your attention, because you're ignoring it. You're flat out just doing your own thing, and in your ear isn't enough to get your attention anymore. So, it's gonna feel like a heart attack. It's like someone's got your chest in a vice and just clamping down on it, twisting you. Which would probably be enough to drop you to your knees, if not flat out crumple you to the ground.

So, this would last for a few seconds until the orb is sure it's got your attention, and then it would let up on it. And it would ask, "Why did you not slay the vampire?" As a cleric, it's very difficult for me to slay a foe who has surrendered. He is undead. An abomination. But I still have a hard time slaying someone who is defenseless, who is no threat to me, who has surrendered himself. I need to get out of there. I couldn't take it anymore. The vampire is never defenseless. I will not be a slave to you. Okay, so that's interesting. So, hmm. So, what, okay.

You're just telling it flat out you're not gonna do it. I'm resisting as best I can. I mean, it is trying, like, part of the reason that I had to rush out of there in addition to all that was that I was hearing him, as you were saying. Like, I had to get out of there. I was trying to get, you know, I was hoping that getting away from the vampire. I don't know how this thing works yet. So, I'm thinking, I get away, maybe he just goes, "Oh, not here." You know? Like a metal detector. Right. As far as I know, that's what it is. I mean, it was telling me to go after undead, but I had never been approached with the undead.

This is my first experience. All I know is that while I was in that room, it was screaming at me to go after it. And I'm trying to make a serious decision. The second that, you know, which is hard to make with this thing screaming in my ear, so I rushed out. Now, it's frustrating me because I don't want to be a slave. I'm trying to resist as best I can. Which is why I didn't kill him, because I'm trying to resist. So, you did assist in killing a pack of these vampires, which, it kind of fills you with a sense of pleasure. Like, it's a very pleasurable sensation.

It's almost like a drug. Like, the more you kill for this thing and it's undead, it's very clear what it wants at this point. So, it's the opposite when you kind of buck it. When you tell it, "I'm not doing that." And it concerns the undead. It's the opposite. It's just pain. Just gives you a hangover without any of the previous good stuff. Right. That's what an alcoholic would say. So, the thing just kind of goes silent. And it's as if you're alone in your own head. So, you get the sense that it kind of backed off. For whatever reason, you don't know how long, but it's backed off for a while.

Okay, so at this point, Rodswell feels as if he has some control. Over this. Because he feels that he just told him by telling... Yes, so right now he feels like he is in control. He has a sense of, "Okay, I can do it. I can do this thing." Okay. Like Jig. And, uh... So, are you continuing to Aubrey? Um... How? How... Are we going to use the door for it? I'm out. I know he said we were going to cut down a tree and bring it back, so I think we should wait for that. Well, okay, wait. There's two plans drawn up. This weird Malchus Lumberjack fantasy of, "I'll be back with a big tree, guys." Yeah.

So, I would imagine he just jumped past. Like, Rodswell, you know, I would imagine he... We just skipped that part just because of time constraints. Like, I didn't want to, "Okay, no, make a roll to get..." But the rest of you guys, you have more than enough means to, like, you could take those big double doors and... Yeah, let's just... Yeah, they've been around. So, I imagine Rodswell is going back to Aubrey. Yes. Okay, so. Here's what we're going to do while that's being done. Let's pick things up inside this pit, right? The vampire nest. Let's pick things up back in here.

Good. Can I roll? Can I do a healing check on our friend Draconis? I would do something. Can I kick him? Can I do something to him? Sure. I want to try to make him live. I really do. So, okay. Draconis is in the doorway, just kind of bleeding out. You would have still been talking to Edward. Yeah. So, Edward... Yennward or Thoril? You can make a heal check to see if you can... to get him up, or you can... I think Yennward still has potions. Yeah. I have a plus 12 to heal. Why? I don't know. That's awesome. Why is that? Are you serious? I just... yeah, plus 12 to heal. Check it.

Because you're a ranger or whatnot. Whatever. You are. Yeah, you are trained in heal. Wow. You're trained in awesome. Feels like we should have known about this, like, episodes ago. Well... That would have been helpful. It's like you and your one arrow. It's just some weird quirk that we don't know why. It's wrapped in cellophane. Now's the time. That place looks different. No, it's the same place. What? Okay. So, yeah, go ahead and roll a heal check then. Let's do that. 18. 18 will do it. Draconis, if you want to spend a healing surge and get back up. Yeah, why not?

Let's do that. Alright, so you're back up to 15 hit points. Oh, sweet. Still bleeding a little bit, but, you know. Yeah, you are in a bad way. So, Malgus was bitten twice. And that was by one of these mutt vampires, as he put it. Like, these lesser thin-bloods. These are like fifth-generation vampires, so they can't really pass on the gene, but you will get sick. And he did lose a lot of blood. So, Malgus is going to be dealing with some stuff on his own. You, on the other hand, were bitten by Edward. Yeah. Now, one, you lost a good amount of blood. Two, you're already sick with something, as the party knows.

And three, he's a first-generation vampire. Now, while you, as a Dragonborn, won't become a vampire, like, you don't really, you're not at risk of getting that disease. You are violently ill. Like, this has aggravated your previous condition. So, what we're going to do is, I'm going to roll an attack versus your Fortitude. And we're going to see... Hey, that's my lowest number. That should be fun. [Laughter] Twenty. Oh, yeah, that's, yeah, that beats it. Okay. So, they're picking you up off the ground, I imagine. Your appendix explodes, you vomit all over. [Laughter] My leg just falls right off.

Well, that's not good. No blood or anything, it's just, it's just gone. You are double over in pain, just vomiting, and there's traces of blood in it. This has happened before in front of Yenward. It's happened, I believe, in front of the whole party, too, at another... did it? Yeah. Something like, yeah, I don't remember the second time, I definitely remember the first one. It was outside of the cave. The White Ravens? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I believe it happened in Winterhaven, too. This doesn't, this isn't going away this time, though. This is the one, this is the big thing, where before you, you would take a few minutes and get your shit together, and someone would ask you about it, and it, this doesn't feel like it's gonna get better any time soon.

You're just, it's just this nasty, coughing fit, it's, it's, you just feel weak all over. Good. I wanna look up, and I, I wanna just yell right now, uh, get me some grapes. [Laughter] Come on. [Laughter] It's comfort food. Um, so, Ironhide, is there anything you wanna do seeing this? This is across the room, is there anything, like... Yea, we're just gonna pick up his dress and run like hell. [Laughter] Oh, he's in the grave, so sorry. Umm... Wanna make a trash basket? So what, what part is this right now? Like, is this right after we get done talking, like, we're completed the talky-talk?

Yea, yea, yea, you guys would have been done, little handshake, you, you know what you wanna do, you're bringing Edward back to Aubrey. Okay, I'm gonna tell him to hold on one second, run over here to this guy. And, uh, if he's able to speak, I'm gonna say, like, it's about time that you actually tell us what's going on with you. I, I, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna just say, just get me to town, I need some grapes. That's ridiculous, you're, you're hallucinating. Uhh, what, what kind of check, what, insight check, or? So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I wanna, like, like, look at it to see what's going on, like, obviously, like, he wants grapes, but I wanna see, like, is there anything I can do for him right now?

Umm, well, he's already been healed, there's really nothing you can do, like, especially, like, if, if Thor with his twelve couldn't do it, like, you with your... Whatever, I would imagine you have the... Plus four. Yeah, plus four, like, I don't... Pretty, pretty cool. Einheit's not really a healer? No. Umm, I mean, getting him back to town would probably be a good idea, at this point. So, what are we gonna, well, first of all, I know it wouldn't make sense time-wise to do it, but obviously, Draconis would be like, what the, what the hell's that dude still, 'cause I was knocked out, I didn't know what went down.

Obviously, I would, uh, have to ask why he's still alive and all that, so... But, of course, skipping time, that's just for roleplay purposes, by the way, so... Is he gonna come with us, or what's the deal? Well, that's the other thing, I mean, you might as well ask, just because, like, you guys, this is broad daylight, you guys gotta figure out how you're gonna get him back to town without him bursting into flames. Okay, so, so far, Malkus, who is already back in town, supposedly, and Draconis are the only two that were bit, Thor wasn't, and Yenn-Wert weren't, right?

Right. So, Einheit and Yenn-Wert, yeah, Einheit and Yenn-Wert had to bring Edward to the town, so can Thor do this with no problem? Is he able to bring him back to, like, him? Oh, to escort Draconis by himself. Yeah, is he able to carry him back there and help him out? I don't know. Draconis is pretty heavy, but... Yeah, I'm, uh, what am I, 278? Yeah, I'm 278. This would be a thing where you can walk, but you're in a lot of pain. Okay, so can he be, like, one arm slinged over Thoril's back? Yeah, that would work. Yeah, he could walk me back. Okay. Alright, yeah.

So that's your plan. You're gonna, you're gonna have, like, Thoril, is that okay with you? Like, you're taking... Yeah, I can help Draconis. Okay, so you guys are venturing off, I imagine you lay the double doors down over that little lava pit, and you know where the traps are now, so that's not really an issue. So, you guys are taking off for Aubrey. Thoril and Einheit are the ones escorting... Okay, you're the ones escorting, uh, Edward back. Yeah. I'm not the, I'm with Draconis. Yes, so, okay. How do you want to get him home? He's got a rug there. Ah, we got a rug, a fancy rug.

Doesn't Thoril still have his vampire rags in his bag? Probably never mentioned, like, getting rid of them. He's gone though, he's with me. His whole interview with a vampire getup, his capes. A run after him? Okay, wait a second, wait a second. Um, you guys have, like, you know, blankets and knapsacks and stuff like that, like, you can cover him in stuff from your adventuring kit. Like, it's not, that's not really the hard part. Alright. It's how are you going to get him into town without him being flat out attacked? Like, how do you want to deal with that?

Like, this is, I'm not asking you so much how you're going to, because you've done this before with Thoril, this is not new. Like, you can, you can move around in broad daylight and everything, but how do you want to escort him into town? Well, somebody needs to stay with him. One of us can go to town and talk to, uh... You are splitting this party, like, eight different ways. I'm not the one that really wants to... Like, okay, I, I, like, getting Draconis to, like, a medic or somebody is very important right now. Like, I don't want to see him just vomit himself to death.

Um, everybody else kind of skedaddled. Um, well, I don't want to leave him here so he can, like, I guess we can leave him here for a little bit. Edward. Yeah. I had to get out of town and, like, explain some stuff. So you're not going to be here when you get back? Well, then you stay here and, and hold him down. Sit on him. How about you stay here because you don't have a biteable neck? That's true. On top of which, this was your idea. It was my idea, but it's really my idea. It's one of the reasons why I'm saying I'm with Draconis because you are on your own as far as I'm concerned with this.

Let me see if I understand this. Let me just see if I understand this. That was honest though, I kinda... Okay. Malkus left. Rod's well left. The world left with Draconis to go see if he can get some help. Yeah. And you're telling Yenward to leave you alone with this, this 300 year old vampire in a big room by yourself in this cave. I actually said that Yenward should stay here, but that... Either way, one of you would be alone. Like you've, like, I'm just, I'm just making sure I understand the situation before we move forward. I could stay here by myself with him.

Okay. *laughs* Ah, okay. It seems awkward silences because someone's supposed to speak up and say, "You know, we really shouldn't be trusting you right now." What, what, what are you doing by yourself with him? Like, what is, what is gonna be done though? To watch him make sure nothing goes on. Like, there's no back door or something he can slip out of. How long are you gonna watch him for though? You, you saved this, but you've already proven that you're not, like, you've just proven that we can't really trust you. Right, and to a larger, yeah, that's to a larger point.

Would Yenward leave him alone with this vampire guy after, after what just happened in combat? I'm, I'm just trying to nail this all down before we move forward. I wanna make sure that what you're doing is what you're doing. Yeah, well I wouldn't have a problem with it. I don't think Yenward really thinks that far. Okay. I don't have to make Yenward sound like an oaf or anything, but he is an oaf. And that's just it. Keep enough distance to toss Storm Render in case he comes after you. Just throw it up in the air and it'll hover from the jerk and then fly at him.

So let's go, okay, let's go back to Aubrey. Aubrey. Let's catch up to, let's catch up to Malkus. Aubrey? Let's, so, Malkus is seeking out clerics, right? So he would probably go back to the chapel. Yes. So we would, they would be, there's this blonde girl that works there. She's, she's just kind of one of the initiates, one of the, one of the, they don't call them nuns, they kind of call them initiates. And she's kind of overseeing Malkus and looking at him and she's showing a lot of concern that you've been bitten, because that's, that's a big deal. And you heard nothing about the whole generations of vampires that you have no idea like what generation of vampire these were or, you know, you do feel weak due to loss of blood and like, you know, just these things were filthy.

So there's, there's some amount of illness. He's like their worst nightmare. Just like their worst nightmare right now. He's a devil that's turning into a vampire. That is cause for concern. That is a great deal of concern. Is there anything you want to tell them about the encounter first before, you know. I mean, Malkus isn't offering any special information other than, you know, you know what we were after. These are vampire bites. What can you do for me? Okay. She's, she's okay. So this, the young blonde girl is just kind of looking you over. So this is very concerning.

No kidding. There's no need to be testy. I understand that this situation is grave. I'm not really sure there's a lot I can do for you though. To be honest, the people who get bitten around here just either disappear or they commit suicide. I mean, if they, if they were bitten, they, I mean, the last thing they want to do is to turn into one of the creatures you were after. I mean, I'm not suggesting that you kill yourself. I just, I mean, I'm just worried. That's all. I don't really, I'm not really trained for this kind of thing. You know, you understand?

It's like Reese Withers. You put that Chihuahua down for a moment and listen to me, woman. Oh my gosh. Okay. So is there anyone here who is trained for this sort of thing? I mean, we, we haven't really cured anyone of, I don't, I don't know if there is a cure, honestly. I can consult some texts if you, some texts if you want. There's some books in the back that might have some kind of clue. Do. I will return tomorrow. Malchus just sits up, puts his collar up real high so no one can see it and walks out the door. That's going to complete that Malchus look. Just pop your collar down.

Like for some reason that you're just like, I shall return tomorrow. Malchus out. Capes which walk away. Look, there's a practical reason I am popping my call collar. I know, but it just plays right into like it just, it's like, wow, pretentiousness of it all. I pop my collar, I turn my hat around sideways and walk out the door. Oh, that's terrible. You know, within the next two or three like sessions, he's going to have like his own theme music as he walks away too. The fact that we don't have a cave switch walk away t-shirt and a store to sell it in is kind of egregious on our part.

I put my visor on backwards and upside down and walk out that door. Oh my God. He puts it on first and then he switches it around. Like he flips it upside down. He's got sunglasses on the back of his neck. I also say Malchus out. Malchus has lost calls. Only tieflings act this way. Just a heavy guitar riff plays. Okay, in all seriousness, though, I do just I do just like hide the bites and tell her to get to work. She disappears. She she she's like she looks frantic, like she's very concerned. She wants to help. I would imagine that Rodswell would have gotten back to Aubrey by now.

What is it that Rodswell wants to do once he gets back into town? Was was Rodswell present when he was talking about the bites? I would say no. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Edward? Yes. I'll say I'll say you were. Okay. Okay. So I would I'm I'm searching for Malchus and the logical place for me to search for Malchus would be the tavern. You're correct. I will I will go make up. I will go take up residence in the tavern and totally find him. Oh, you're you're there already. Oh, absolutely. Okay. So Malchus or sorry, Rodswell walks up next to Malchus, who is bellied up to the bar.

Rodswell puts down two gold pieces. He says he has this drink and looks over at Malchus and says, Malchus, I think it's time we talk. You know, I never pictured myself going out like this, Rodswell. Going out? What do you mean? I mean, people have always accused me of being some sort of spawn of evil. What with that. And he just like teleports his blade and teleports it back out. All that sort of thing. But are you talking? You mean the bite? Never expected to have to hide from the sun after. Stop. Stop. Malchus. Rodswell, I just want you to know you've been a great adventure and companion.

You're fine. Malchus. I just I just turn I slap Malchus. I think it's a speech he wants to get done. You were bitten by a fifth generation of vampires. It's it's it's 10 to be bitten by a rat. You you were fine. I what? You may have a headache in the morning, but nothing that I'm sure you wouldn't have anyway at this point. Malchus gets out of his seat, stands up on his chair and says, around, around for everyone. It's just me and you. There's like three. It's it's midday in this town that isn't much of a drinking town to begin with. Like three other people besides and they're probably very thankful people.

Yes. So I had enough. Thanks. So there's just kind of this. But it's not like a voice just like, ah, like it's like three people. Thank you. And he hops down from his chair and says to Rodswell, well, no more no more sorrow and misery drinks that celebration drinks. Hold on a second. Standing up on the stool. Yes. You feel lightheaded. OK. There's much just assumes that the alcohol. Right. I mean, I guess it's let me this is a balance check. If you fail, you fall and you bang your head right off of the bar. Don't say that. Texas is dump stat. You know how this will go.

I'm just saying roll an acrobatics check. I know that's that's not like that's the silliest thing. I know that's it's like when we use the history check. This is like it's the closest thing. Like you jumped up on the the the stool. Like I just want to see. Right. False point. To let you know, this is not this is not a high check. I just want it like this is less not a high roll. So you just press your spine. You'll never walk again. OK. So Marcus gets up on the stool and shouts for a round and then wobbles and tips it out from under him. Falls down flat on his back, knocks the wind clean out of him.

And he kind of just hoarsely says, I feel so alive. Soul Eater threw a straw. What happened over the last five minutes that Malchus become a caricature? He was heading to the top. Just call her this. He gets it's all that visor. It's become a sitcom character now. Hey, I didn't call for the slapstick balance check. All right. That was look, that's cause and effect, man. You lost a lot of blood and like that was you. That's you. And you said it. And I played it up. I know. I hated to do it, but I just don't. I just resent that I'm getting my chops busted for becoming a sitcom caricature.

Dungeons randomness, 9/8 Central on CBS. Kill for CBS deal. A devoted cleric and a hell spawn go on a grand adventure in this fish out of water comedy for the whole family. Tell me we couldn't. It couldn't tell me we couldn't sandwich some sitcom like Malchus and I living in an apartment together right between like two broke girls and Big Bang Theory. Tell me we guys. You guys. God damn it. I was going to say two broke adventures. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Malchus in the middle. Oh, God. Yes. Great. Call. Call Jonathan Silverman. Now we have his new and get my cell phone.

OK. Sorry, Jonathan. Jonathan Silverman and William Shatner coming this fall. OK, so Malchus falls flat on his ass and and you. I imagine, well, you're going to help him up or something like how do you want to react all this? Me? I help him up. Kind of shaking my head. Are you OK? Malchus, do you feel OK? I don't feel spectacular, but I'm going to live for another day. That's enough for me. We need to discuss something rather important. Do you think that you're in the right mind or should we wait? Damn it, Rod's. Well, I've just discovered I'm going to live. Can't you just give it an hour?

I don't know how much time we have on this. You don't know what's about to happen. OK. All right. Let's let's go outdoors then. I don't need to worry about that anymore, do I? We can stay in here. This is fine. We'd best not interrupt the bar patrons. Well, why don't we go to our room? I mean, we're in the same place. Lead on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Same place. Silver flag. We'll head to the to the room. Malchus, at any point now, Ironhide could come strolling through those town gates with Edward. Yeah. And he's going to have a hell of a time explaining that, isn't he? We just went through a battle with a man who wasn't supporting us, who didn't help us at all.

We had somebody who was close to dying bleeding out on the floor. You had been bitten. Thorold was in danger and he did nothing to help us. And now he's going to stroll through the gates of this town, this town that is that has supported us in this town, that has tried to help us despite all the all the things stacked against us, despite our appearance, despite things that we have been we have been looked down upon for in the past. They embraced us. He could walk through those town gates at any second with Edward arm in arm. How can we trust this man?

What I've been saying for what is it now, days, weeks, months. And you're right. And I was afraid to admit that because my whole point was to hold this party together. But I don't see how this party can be held together when we have someone that we can't trust. I understand why he makes these decisions that does not excuse him from these decisions. In addition to everything that was going on, I had I had an orb screaming in my ear who attacked me as I left because I did not kill him. Yet as a cleric, it is very difficult for me to kill someone who has surrendered.

But I was attacked as I left there for not doing so. And I'm dealing with this and I have to deal with whether or not we can trust our own party. So we almost died in there. And the orb is doing worse to you. I think I have it under control. Yes, it can cause harm to me, but I, I feel pain all the time. It's something that I can deal with, but I do need support from people who I believe to be friends. And I don't feel that Ironhide is giving us that. I agree. Well, do you think he can be reasoned with? Do you think talking, do you think there's any value in talking with him about this?

I know that there is reasoning with Thoril. I believe there may be reasoning with Draconis. So we gather up the crew that didn't have an, and Malchus makes air quotes as he says it, "intervention." My thought is that if we can head them off at the gate before they bring him in, we could, we have, we still have the possibility of bringing Edward in as a prisoner and submitting and giving him over to the town. That may garner us some support. I'm sure they will. I'm sure they will understand how I cannot destroy anything that has surrendered or at least have sympathy for that.

Rod's will. Now that I am far less concerned about my imminent demise, I will be glad to come with you and support you in that endeavor. We need to go outside city lines. We cannot have them bring him in here. So why don't we gather up, go outside and hope we can catch them before they come in town? Sounds good. Onward. Okay. Okay. At this point, I would imagine that Yenn were pretty much left with Thoril and Draconis. So I would imagine the three of them would be back in Aubrey by now. So Draconis isn't, is looking pretty, pretty worse for wear. He's not, he's not looking good.

They, I would imagine you all would run into each other pretty much in the center of town. Like they, uh, Malkus and Rod's will would be trying to leave town. You guys would be arriving in town. So as soon as Rod's will, as soon as they come in sight, sight in Rod's will notices that Ironhide and Edward are not there. Rod's will says, ask where they are. Where, where is that? Where's Ironhide? Did they, have they gone to the town hall or the, the, what's it called? The church yet? The chapel? Sorry. I want Draconis to, uh, to, I don't fucking know, get me inside.

So you're just having none of this. You're just... Yeah. This man needs grapes. Um, so who's taking, okay, Draconis is just gonna... That's what I'm yelling. I mean, somebody else can say something. Now, is there any kind of, I mean, I know that, you know, Ironhide isn't very powerful when it comes to healing. Is there anything I can do at this point? Um, there, while he was on the ground? Yes. Uh, definitely a check could have been made or a potion poured, something, anything. Um, at this point, yeah, you can, you can definitely, you can, uh, roll a heal check.

Go ahead. Okay. Um, Draconis, I have the clerics in town researching vampirism related ailments. I didn't tell them to call off when I learned that mine was not as bad, but perhaps they will find something to treat you as well if you're feeling worse. I don't, I don't care about any of that right now. Just get me some grapes. Nineteen. Nineteen grapes. Nineteen. Pretty good. It's the only cure for what ails Draconis. Um, uh, you're picking up that, that, that Draconis is very sick and not just from, yeah, this is not just from the vampire stuff. This is something that's been, you know, a long, long time.

He's, he's very ill. Um, running out into the street is that same blonde haired girl. Uh, and she's, oh God, Breeze. Are we in, are we in the town or out of the town? You're, you're still in town. Okay. You guys haven't, you guys haven't, like, So, like Draconis walked in right when they were about to walk out? Yes, this is, this is like you're all kind of meeting up in the, in the center of town. Who? Um, and, and, and she kind of comes shuffling up to you guys. She's, she's very excited. She's, she's, uh, and, uh, she's gonna run up to Yenward and wrap her arms around Yenward.

Okay. [Laughter] Uh, and Yenward, I, is that you? I'm Yenward. It, Clarissa. Okay, I was a little girl when we last saw each other. I, you probably don't recognize me. Mm. Yeah, she may have to explain it all. [Screams] Can I get one name out? Can I get a name? Sorry. One name. I'm sorry. It's bad enough I named a vampire Edward. I'm still getting shit for that. When you said it, I knew. Like, it was sick. I know. Yeah. I didn't even think- I held back. I, yeah, just fucking internet. This is- [Laughter] Dude, that was in- Clarissa was a softball. I didn't even see her.

I'm sorry. Yeah, like, he was confused, so she had to explain herself, so you- Yes, that's fine. No. I'm sorry. It was just too much to resist. It's okay. It's okay. [Laughter] See, that's why I don't name characters like Yogfart, the Brave, or some shit. Like, I give them real names. I will never remember that. Exactly. That's why I give them real names, and by giving them real names, I'm fucking pulling from, like, 97 years of pop culture you guys could reference, so it's tough. Yeah. Um. Okay. So. [Laughter] She's obviously ecstatic to see you, and she starts reaching up to scratch under your chin. [Laughter] Which is, well, okay.

That's something she- It's inappropriate. [Laughter] Are they gonna bone? No, no, no. It's more like what you do with a dog. Yeah. Like, you're just idling- She's talking to the rest of the group, and she's reaching up, because she only comes up to, like, Yenward's, like, chest. Yenward was this girl's family pet. [Laughter] I didn't know you guys were with Yenward. I- Where have you been? Around. I'm sorry. I should explain. And she's still idly, like, scratching under his chin. Like, just very, like- I look over at everyone, and I'm a kang, and why is she touching me, like, this way?

So, but is Yenward reacting at all in the sense of, like, this is awkward, but it feels good type thing? 'Cause he- A little. A little. There's a quivering haunch. [Laughter] Like, his foot just starts going up and down. And he's just hating the fact that it's doing that. His tail's wagging, his foot's going up and down. Just like, "God damn it!" I'm sorry, I should explain. Yenward used to live in the church years ago. The one that burned down. He- We used to know each other as kids. He grew up there. That... tier? Well, yeah. I mean, it's- I mean, we had to rebuild, but yeah, the town rebuilt the church after it burned down.

The last I remember was falling on top of me, and I was pulling my way out. It's been a pretty wild ride from there. We all kind of figured you just got buried underneath of it. We- Well, I did. I just said that. Well, I mean, we thought you died. We thought it crushed you. Yenward grew up in the basement of the church. He got too big. He couldn't fit out the door anymore. So he just lived under the basement, really. Carried caskets, ate rats, that kind of thing. It's real illustrious for a king. Come from Homo beginning. And she kind of reacts. She stops scratching you for a minute.

You're a king? Yeah. How? What happened? You're king of what? Where? Well, I am now king of the Dark Hooves. That didn't register at all. She's just like, "Okay, wow!" You can tell she's just kind of like, "I'm happy for you." But that didn't register. She doesn't know where they would be. Oh. I sheltered, too. [laughter] It's real easy. And then she kind of makes eye contact with Malkus, and she remembers the book in her hand. Oh! Oh! I'm so sorry. I was coming out here to find you. I think you're gonna die. [laughter] Can I amble off towards where I think the rubble would be?

Sure. You can absolutely do that. Alright, I'm gonna do that. Yenward, too. We have new information, Clarissa. It's not as bad as we first assumed. And then, uh, Urodswell, Clarissa? Is that your name? Yeah. Okay. So he was bitten by a very weak vampire. So, as a tiefling, he should be fine. My concern now lies with our other friend here, and I appointed Draconis. There seems to be something wrong with him. He was bitten, but the bite doesn't seem to be what's affecting him. Given a rational craving for grapes. All he wants is grapes. Um, I can get him some from the inn, I guess.

That's a start, but I think there may be more wrong with him. Oh. He can lay down. There's a spot in the chapel in the back. He can lay down if you want him to. I'll go get him some food and we can see what's wrong with him. Um, and I looked down at Draconis. Draconis, does that sound okay to you? And Draconis is just gonna look back, look at her, and just yell at her to go. And she's still, like, eyes wide. She's just, "Oh, okay." He's in a lot of pain right now. So she just kind of, like, she's wearing these, like, big billowy robes, and they're kind of too long for her?

Um, and she's just kind of, like, she busts out into a sprint and starts to trip and fall forward, but catches herself and runs off. Um, at that point we, uh, should we go to the chapel or should we just go to the room? Let's take him to the chapel. That's where she's expecting to bring the grapes. Yeah, but again, she's going to the inn, so we'll see her there. I just don't know, if we go into the chapel we're gonna have to start explaining ourselves, right? Um, probably, yeah. He's pretty sick. Yeah. Find the inn, then. Okay. So we go to the inn, cut her off in the past, they meet us in our room.

Is that alright? Uh, yeah, she's just shaking her head, "Uh-huh." Okay, so lay him up on the bed. Um, I guess the inn ward's not with us at this point? No, I'm shifting through the rubble of the only other home I've ever known. Okay. Um, okay, so is she bringing food or grapes or whatever? Yeah, she's getting that, um, because there's a few rooms in this place, she kind of, you said meet, meet, uh, those guys in their room, but she didn't know which one that was, so she's just kind of lost in the hallway, like, looking in each of the rooms, just... Fucking, fucking...

Can I step out of the hall and direct her into the room? Yes, sure. She wants to do good so bad. I understand, I understand. We're, we're, there's a lot going on, so... Right. So I direct her into the room. Actually, you know what? She's not going to be able to do anything that we can't do, right? In terms of healing or anything? No, not really. Why don't I take the food and I say, "Head back to the chapel, if we need you anymore, we'll meet you there." Uh, she, uh, okay. Clarissa. And she, yeah. A moment outside, if you would. Sure, sure. I step out with her and I, I tell her, "Do you have more time to research?

Is that what you do?" Mostly, yeah. Whatever needs doing, I'm kind of the gopher, to be honest. Very good. I'd like you to help us. I need you to look into infirmities and conditions that create an irrational craving for grapes. Our patient does not seem particularly forthcoming and I'm not interested in trying to wring it out of him. Oh, okay. Grapes? Just, that's the only symptom? It's the first thing we have to go on. I'll tell you more if I learn more. What about the stomach pains? Throw that in there, too. Well, he doesn't tell us that, though. Well, he was throwing up in front of you.

Okay, well, nausea then, I guess. Did that a few times. Um, yeah, she- See if you can find something that would put him in that condition and desiring grapes to remove it. She kind of shakes her head up and down violently and trundles off. "Tharissa." He's so witherspoon. Yeah. "Thank you." And she kind of gives you this ear-to-ear smile. "No problem!" And she runs off. Okay. Are you coming back down to join us, Malchus? Yeah, Malchus will go back with the party. At this point, while Malchus is coming back, I'm feeding Draconis grapes. So, okay. It's in the room, just so I understand.

It's Thorl, Rodswell, Malchus, and Draconis. Yes. Okay. Ironhide is still presumably back there with Edward. Still would. And, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, Ynward is- Completely sidetracked off his mission that Ironhide is taking on. Silver's shiny. In his defense, it's a big shiny. It's a big deal. It is. Or it was a big shiny, now it's just rubble. So, um, uh, so, Draconis- Okay, firstly, it's really weird for Dragonborn to just crave, uh, like, uh, fruits and veggies and stuff. And Draconis has shown a real propensity for those fucking grapes. Like, it's been a big deal.

Um, uh, if you guys want to talk, go right ahead. Is he- now that he has grapes, is he talkative? Is he okay? Alright, so you're- what do you mean, like, by feeding? Like, how are you feeding me grapes? I fucking- I- Your head is across his lap, and he's dangling- I- I- I just- I kind of- I mean, I don't know, uh- Open, eager mouth. You're just feeding all the grapes from this person. I- I give you the grapes. You can feed yourself, that kind of thing, just here. It's like, I- I'm afraid, at this point, to get my hands too close to his mouth. Well, Draconis' head is, like, 80% mouth.

It's- it's pretty- Do I just kind of toss the whole thing of grapes in his mouth? He's not- you're not working in a gator park, like, I mean, he's- [Laughter] He has self-respect, like this. I give him- You say that, Ed. But, uh, what I want to do, I assume, like, we're gonna- I assume they're, like, in a bowl or something, something like that. I want to grab the bowl, I want to grab an entire handful, and I want to just cr- Cram him into my mouth and just start chewing violently, and just start trying to consume as many as possible. Okay, so while that's going on, um, how about we- we turn our attention to Thoril, and- And just turn grapes.

And, um, I will kill you. No. Nobody cares what you want, Thoril. To the original question, where is Ironhide, where is Edward? Uh, about that. They're back in the cave. They're in the cave. Yeah, alone. But they're not here. No. Well, that changes things. So why did they stay there and you came? Uh, well, I didn't actually come up with this plan, to be honest. This was an- I was busy dragging Draconis back over here. Don't worry, I blame Ironhide. Tell me everything. And by the way, before- before we- is Draconis of a right state of mind yet, or is he still- No.

No? Okay. I'll hold my apologies for later. I want him to be lucid. Yes. Okay, back to Thoril, yes. It was- I don't really know exactly why he wanted to stay back there, other than the fact that, you know, it would just be... ...insane to try to bring him back here, just to bring him here. What is the plan that he has hashed up as of now? What is the plan that he has hashed up? A plan so convoluted only Group 1 could have come up with it. To be fair, like, just out of character, I don't know, really. So much to be happened. I was supposed to come and alert whoever's in charge that we have Edward prisoner, and he's willing to come and explain himself.

How about, you know... So we're going to give him up? No one ever said that. No, that's what you- that's what I am- as Rodswell, that's what Rodswell is asking. He's- Are we going to give Edward up? Sorry. No, it's okay. Thoril? So you'd be asking that of Thoril? Yeah, about that. That wasn't really a plan. So why are we bringing him to town if we're not going to give him up? I don't know. I would really like to give him up as a prisoner, but this is kind of Ironhide's deal. Last I heard- Malchus looks over at Rodswell and says, "Well, that makes three anyway." Last I heard, Ironhide was going to bring Edward into town to try to make some sort of deal with the town.

Allowing Edward to go free. Is that still the plan? As far as I know, but you know, after what we've been through today, I don't- I wouldn't 100% trust it. I don't even 100% trust them now being by themselves in the cave. Who knows what they're doing? So you are in agreement that we cannot trust Ironhide at this point? At this point, I don't really think I can. Malchus and I were talking. We'd like to bring Edward in, but we'd like to bring him in as a prisoner. We'd like to explain that he surrendered himself, and we'd like to turn him over to the town.

Great, sounds good. I mean, to be honest, you know, I've dealt with Vampire Lords. I don't wish to have any of you deal with the crap that I dealt with, and the crap that I don't know if maybe Draconis is dealing with it. I don't know. I don't wish that upon anybody. And the fact that we have to save somebody that, you know, is partly- I mean, I know he was indirectly responsible. Like, he wasn't there. But it was people like him. I don't like people like him. I really don't. I don't want to deal with them anymore. I rather would have just killed him. Preach.

So, getting something on his stomach, it seems like Draconis would have evened out a bit. Like, it's not so frantic. Like, he's not just shoveling grapes into his head as frantic. Like, he seems like he's a little more lucid. Are you gonna- Oh, so you guys are done with your little deal? Well, I mean, is Draconis going to alert us to this, or is this- Uh, well, what's gonna happen here is I'm gonna grab- I finished the grapes, the grapes are completely gone. I don't know how many pounds I went through, but I went through every last grape. There's remnants all over my chest, all over the side of the bed.

Ew. My face, chest, and- They're not nearly as messy as, like, raspberries or something. Yeah. Why would you have fucking grape remnants all over your chest? Trust me, it was a disaster. Like, unless there were stems just all over the place. It's like a horror movie. Yeah, stems are everywhere. Great master. So, what I do, I'm gonna grab the bowl, I'm gonna slam it against the wall, shatter it, and I'm gonna just pound my fist against the bed as, uh, my left fist, and I'm gonna just fucking just grab, grab my stomach and just scream as loud as I can. Uh, it's not fucking working.

And I roll to the side of the bed and I'm just gonna vomit my brains out every last grape I just consumed just right back up onto the floor. So it smells kinda good. Um, Malchus is just kinda gaping at this, at this, is, is there any kind of check that we could run to see- Try asking him. Okay, yeah. Go ahead, your chance, friend. Check. Okay, fine. Draconis, what do we need to do to even you out? I don't know. I- grapes usually hold me over for a while, but it's not fucking working. Hold you over to what? They just work, okay? If you want us to help you, you're going to have to be honest with us.

We want to help you. We will not judge. I feel like a parent if I ask him if he's going through withdrawals right now. It's really complicated. We have time. No, I- We've been through some complicated shit. No, I don't think we have any time, okay? I really don't. Draconis, you're going to become a liability if we have to go into combat with you at the risk of you getting sick and not being able to provide covering fire. We have to be able to depend on you to do your job. We're already having party members that have trust- that we're having trust issues with.

The last thing we need is more secrets kept from us. All right, I'm going to double over again in just another wave, just another wave of vomit all straight onto the floor. I'm going to wipe my mouth and I'm just going to start pounding on the bed and I'm going to just growl and snarl and just say, "Bloodroot." Bloodroot? I'm going to rest my head back against the pillow and close my eyes, give a little bit of a cough, and say, "I need bloodroot." Can anybody run some kind of history check or something on bloodroot to figure out? Sure. Someone could run a history check.

I only have a plus four on history. Nature? Would nature work? Well, nature actually, yeah, nature would be more. That would be me. I was going to say, that's Thorol Country. I got a plus ten. I got a plus twelve. Okay, yeah, go. Sit down. I'm dependent on you guys. God damn it. Sixteen. Okay, well. Nice. Bloodroot's a root. Or maybe not. Or blood, I think. From what I can discern, it's bloody. Thorol has definitely heard of bloodroot. It's something that grows in the highest peaks of the Hazon Mountains, which is way, way out east. That's pretty much the northeast pinnacle of Theria.

It pretty much grows near Aurash, which is the dragonborn home city. It's mainly used to stave off the effects of a certain dragonborn illness. Now, here's the thing about dragonborns. They don't research illnesses. They just kill anybody who has one. So they don't have doctors or anything. So this was probably found out by accident or by a loved one protecting another one, because if they find out that you're sick, they will kill you. That's just to keep the race strong. That's what they got to do. They don't have time to nursemate somebody, especially if they're not going to get better.

This is just something to kind of take the edge off and keep them normal. So bloodroot mainly is mixed with a couple of other herbs that aren't rare at all. And it's usually ground into a powder and snorted. Man. Fucking A, really? Really gonna... Sorry, I'm sorry, Justin. What you said, like, it makes, like, if you're trying to make it, it's a bunch of common things, right? It will know you need bloodroot to finish it. Or cocaine. Is it a cure or is it a, like... It's not a cure. It's just to keep you normal. Yeah. Okay. Um, so Thorold tells us this, I'm assuming?

Yes. Okay. Um, I would imagine that the only person in town that may have access to something like this would probably be Artemis. I want to break him off and say, "You're not going to get it here." I'm going to tell him, usually for some reason, I don't know why, grapes sometimes, they hold me over. They do the job sometimes for a little while, but apparently it's not working anyways. I'm going to need it. So more grapes would know. You need the real deal. No, no, grapes, fucking worthless. I need bloodroot. And we can't get it here. Mm-mm. Well, we're going to have to get it somewhere.

Something else you would have known from the nature check is that the Dragonborn don't want their race treated for illnesses. They see that as weakness. They see that as... So any Dragonborn who would live outside the city, it's illegal to have bloodroot. Oh, hey, now that we know what he wants, can we remember back to the bag and put two and two together even though we didn't use that check? You sure can. Okay. That was Winterhaven, right? Yes. Okay. Did you buy some in Winterhaven by chance, Dr. Cronus? Yeah, I had a supplier. Is there a chance we could still get some there?

I have no idea. When we went there, I tried to contact him. I couldn't find him. Nobody's seen him in several years. I don't know. What was his name? Thaddeus. I assume. That's what he told me anyway. Nothing else. It's a name he operates under. Yeah. Okay. Perhaps we can ask around and see if anybody's heard of this Thaddeus. I imagine we have to go back to Winterhaven to put the word out, but if that fails, we may need to head into these mountains. With our time constraints here, should we at least check with somebody that we know is a little seedy here in town perhaps and just see if he's heard of the guy and can put us in contact with him?

I could try that, sure. So I guess Malchus would be the best guy to approach Artemis anyway considering that he didn't get ripped off by him. Although we did, but... Oh, but I'm still representing people he got ripped off. Right, but he's not going to go in there and smash his face like Yinward would. Sure you can believe that. Okay. Can we just have an aside here for all the jokes that we made? He literally did buy Dragonborn Coke, basically. Stuff that you ground into a powder and snort. You literally bought Dragonborn Coke. It doesn't really make him high, it just heals.

I know, I'm just... Yeah, it just keeps him normal. It's medical Dragonborn Coke. It's medicinal. Yeah, that's the... I never heard of medicinal Coke. Medicinal Coke. It's okay, it's medicinal. So I guess, um, man, like I said, I really feel bad for... Do you want to go back and see what Justin and Edward are up to? Oh yeah, well, if you guys have decided on a path, please, have at it. I thought, you know, I could stay here with Thorol or Kaunas, I could kind of talk things out with Thorol a bit more about Ironhide, and Malkus could go and talk to Artemis about Thaddeus, see if he knows anything, and then maybe go round up Yinward.

We could totally do that. Okay. Alright, so, that's your game plan in Albury. Let's take a trip back to these caves. So some time has passed, and it's just you and Edward in this chamber. And you can kind of see he's getting a bit impatient. Yeah. Like, after, like, there's a point after the battle where it's all wrapped up and you guys are catching your breath, then minutes go by and it's just... how long do I have to stand here? As long as it takes. Would you mind if I at least grabbed a bite to eat? And he's kind of motioning to, like, rats scurrying around the room.

Rather you didn't. You let me stand here in pain. Alright, we can start heading off then, right now. We have to show that you're weak, though, in order for this to actually work. I have to look weak. I don't have to actually be weak. Alright, at this point, I'm going to take out, like, whatever... Do I have anything that could actually be used as, like, a blanket or something for him? Oh yeah, well, I mean, I don't... That's why I'm asking me, because I stand up and sleep like a weirdo. That's pretty true, actually. You don't need a knapsack or a bedroll or a blanket.

This has to go, though. I'm going to pick up the carpet and just, like, sling it over him. Alright, I'm going to take out my rope, and I'm going to cut... Are you just going to start doing this, or are you just going to ask him... No, this is what I'm doing. This is how this is going to work. Put the rug on him. Say, "Okay, this should work." Start putting holes in the corner of it and then wrapping rope around it. So if he has any wise ideas of trying to get away, then the rug will just fall off and he'll just burn. I want to tell him that, too. Okay, okay, so you're telling him this as you were throwing this carpet over his head.

Right. Do you really expect me to march into town wearing a carpet? Then what would you want to wear? You could have at least got a blanket or something. This is thick enough to keep out the rings. It's covered in rat droppings. And you just wanted to eat a rat. I didn't want to wear one's excrement. Well, then you should take care of your place a little bit more. You know what occurs to me? Your leverage has waned somewhat now that it's just you and I. What are you talking about? I mean, I'm starting to wonder why I should wander into Aubrey and surrender myself.

If I were to say no, who would stop me? Do you honestly think you're going to get out of here alive if you fight me right now? Do you? Yes. And he's looking dead in your eyes just to kind of like, just to see how committed you are to this. You know, it's been some time since I've seen Aubrey. How about we play it your way for a while and see how this goes? Let's do that. And he kind of motions with his head towards the door. You can lead on anytime you like. Although the ropes are a tad unnecessary. How about the ropes are necessary and you're going to stay at least five feet ahead of me at all times.

And he kind of gives you this asshole smile very well. And he starts marching forward out of the cavern. Now his... So okay, did you say you cut anything into this carpet? Holes so I can slice, so I can put the rope through. Okay, so this is something you've weaved in and out. There's no holes for him to see, correct? No. Okay. So I'm just kind of like directing him like, walk forward. Well, I mean, he has some pretty damn good senses so he can kind of... Yeah. So you're going... Okay. Just so I understand this plan correctly. You by yourself. Are leading this vampire out of the cavern.

And back to town. By yourself. Yeah. Okay. This is going to turn out bad. Let's go back to Aubrey. Yenward. Yes. So Yenward is kind of sifting through this, like, this was a fairly large building and it burnt down. They never just kind of... to remember it or whatever, they never kind of paved over it and built anything else that's kind of its own thing. They just kind of... that's more the outskirts of town. They just kind of rebuilt the church in the center of town and kind of built the town up around that. So it's gotten bigger over the years, but they kind of put a real focus on being good godly people and church going, so the church kind of became the central hub of the town.

That's what Aubrey's known for. So you're just kind of sifting through this wreckage. Yeah. And it's pretty much just burnt timber and charred possessions, things like that. It's nothing of value in it. Is there something specifically you're looking for? No, I'm just kind of aimlessly turning stuff over, mumbling. There's really nothing... like, do you want to just keep doing that and we'll come back to you? Yeah. Okay. Malkus. Yes. I imagine you want to go talk to Artemis at this point. Yeah, I'm dropping in on him. Okay. So Artemis is in his shop, the trusty blade just kind of chilling behind the counter.

And Malkus is... how do you want to enter this place? Is it more ominous? Is it like you kicking the door off the hinges? How are you going to throw a break through this fucking window? Let's start with relatively casually. Let's just... Okay, so you're walking in. All right. Hey, Vampire Hunter, how you doing? How'd you guys make out? Oh, stupendous. I tell you, that holy water really did a number. Oh, fantastic, man. I'm glad to hear it. You know, I aim to please. You guys dropped a ton of gold in my shop. I'm not even going to lie. That's going to be pretty sweet.

Can I make an insight check on... like, if he actually believes his holy water's off? Sure. Insight is... plus nine. 21. 14. Okay. You're catching a tinge of relief in his voice as he's telling you, like, "Oh, okay, that's really good to know." Like, you're catching, like, the tiniest tinge of, like, "Oh, we don't know what's going on. Like, we have no idea how holy water is supposed to work against these guys." Maybe. Right. Maybe part of it. Tell me, who is your supplier for holy water? I mean, where did you come across such a stash? Well, I mean, look where I live.

It really wasn't hard. I mean, you go over to the chapel, you get them to bless a crater to, you know, it's for the people, for the most part. I mean, I won't lie, that's pretty much my biggest seller. So you had the holy water blessed by the clerics in this very town? Oh yeah. It's pretty easy, man. You just, you know, I make donations every week just like everyone, but mine are a little bigger. I can afford it, I guess. That batch? The one you bought? Yes. Yeah. I mean, I got crates of this stuff, you know. Does he seem to be lying about that? Should I make another insight check?

Make another insight check. Okay. All right. Hold on. Okay. There we go. That's a 12. Nice. Again, you're picking up that he's getting just a bit more tense as you keep asking him. Like he's getting the sense that you are not complimenting him on his fine water. You're questioning him at this point. Is his name really Artemis or did we just make that up? No, no, no. His name is Artemis. I made it up. You mean these people are real? Nope. Oh my God. Okay. But I heard a voice. You're telling me that's not a real person talking? I'm not really. Artemis, hand the microphone back to Jason.

This is stupid. Okay. Enough with that gag. Artemis, your holy water was crap. It didn't do a thing to the vampires and were rather displeased. Ah shit. You actually fought vampires? More so than you actually sold holy water apparently. Ah shit. Okay. Let me level with you, man. Yes, I'd appreciate that. So I sell so much of this stuff. I mean, people want to use it for home defense and some people coat their silverware in it, man. I couldn't keep up with it. So I mean, most of the stuff is good, but I can't go over to the church every day and ask them to bless the shit.

So I may have fudged some of the cases. I didn't mean to sell you guys the bad shit. Just I... So let me get this straight. You're a corrupt little festering toad taking advantage of people of faith in this town? Corrupt's not the word I'd use. Funny. We have a difference of vocabulary. Let's talk, Artemis. You're in luck. I need things done and you seem exactly like the kind of toad who might be able to do that. So I'd like to offer you an opportunity to redeem yourself. Would you have in mind? I take it you know more people of your similar moral fiber, yes?

You know the insinuation I'm some scumbag is starting to hurt my feelings. Yes or no, Artemis? Maybe. Hello, Artemis. Malchus manifests the blade and says that was neither yes nor no, Artemis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. Okay, very good. Very good. Now I think you're listening. Here's what I need you to do, Artemis. I need you to extend your creepy little slimy feelers out into your underworld and see if you can find me a Thaddeus. A Thaddeus who deals in bloodroot. Oh, whoa. Um. Artemis yes or no? Look, man, I want to help you. It's just bloodroot's kind of high level mojo, you know?

I mean, everyone's so scared of the damn dragonborn. They don't want to get, you know, they don't want to risk pissing them off. If you go asking around about that stuff, you know, it could get me in a lot of trouble. Artemis you're already in a lot of trouble. Go ahead and roll an intimidate check. That's the ticket. I'm good at that one. Uh, let's see, 15. Jesus plus 15. Yeah, all you gotta do is just, oh wow. I still match winded. Uggy buggy. That's a 16 though. 16's in his current state, that's probably going to be enough to persuade him. Look, okay, I can point you in the direction of someone who kind of deals in rare herbs.

With that help. Does he deal in bloodroot? She has been known to come across certain things like that from time to time, but she ain't in town. You're going to have to go to Durnhollow. How far away is Durnhollow? Hollow. I just love the disgust in his voice. It's like Alabama or something. In this Alabama. This Alabama. By the way, Artemis is an amazing motherfucker by the way. Just want to point that out. The law says you cannot touch. She's just Matthew McConaughey. It's so awesome that it's Matthew McConaughey. We had Reese Witherspoon and Matthew McConaughey.

Next batch I'm going to sell you, I'm going to take my shirt off. Be a whole lot cooler if you did. He just reminds me of Spooter from Borderlands. He reminds me of Spooter from Borderlands 2. Oh man, when you asked if he had bloodroot and he said no, you should have said that. Fuck if you did. So you know what I like about vampires? Get older, they stay the same. That's a wrap. That's the end of the show. That's a wrap. That has to be it. We're done now. You can't beat it. I think legally we have to get up the call, we're not allowed to go forward. I want to say this, I just commented on Twitter, I can be on the call, I can edit it, I can listen to it two or three times later and I'll always catch a new thing Tom mumbles in the background.

You can tell when Tom's very proud of a joke because he has to interject and get it on the show right now. He has to get credit for it now. I heard his rest in peace Patrice thing. Far after. Anyway, so, okay, Artemis, you asked how far, you asked how far during Hollow was. It's like south of here, you going on foot? He's asking. Let's assume for the sake of argument, yes. It'd probably take you like, let's say three days conservatively if you guys are strolling, like, yeah, yeah, two, three days. Oh, Artemis, that should be nothing for you. Wait, what? Now you, what, what?

I mean, Artemis, if you, unless you would like a certain amount of information about the shoddy holy water and no doubt numerous other half baked divine protections that you're dealing in revealed to this town of gentle law abiding people who have the utmost faith in their deities protection, you should probably go to that town and acquire what I'm looking for. Come on, man. There's no need to be a dick about it. I'm trying to help you out. Too late. You know, it's going to take time, right? She's going to be suspicious me showing up. Why is she going to be suspicious of you showing up?

We kind of had a thing that ended poorly. Artemis, I thought you were a waste of skin to begin with, but you're not even a valuable toady. You can't go through anything without getting into trouble. I may have stolen from her daughter. Son of a... What'd I tell you? Hold on, hold on. I'll tell you what I can do. There's a phrase. I'll write it down. You give it to her that that'll prove you're not part of the town guard. You're not trying to shake her down. That'll cut through all the red tape, so to speak. Insight check. I feel a trap coming on. No, you have a passive insight of 19.

Do you have to do a... Yeah, that's if someone's trying to trick, like that's if someone's trying to bluff. He's trying to get insight. Man, dice are not helping me today. That seems on the level to you. Oh, good. Take his word for it. Damn it. Damn it, Nokus. What's wrong with you? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm the problem character. Well, there's problems all over the place today. Artemis, you do realize you've screwed me once already. All right, look. If something else goes wrong under your advisement, I will return. I do not die easily. I see that. Look, I've done you guys wrong and I'm sorry.

The least I could do is give you a refund. I'd appreciate that. Okay. Good start. I want to smooth things over. I want to get some communication, some trust back. I want you guys to trust me. And he's going to go ahead and issue a refund for... You guys bought a lot of holy water too, if I recall. I'll look it up. But yeah, he's going to hand you all the money back that you guys spent. Plus... Get the flask. Get the flask. Plask? Oh, the... Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'm entirely interested in dealing with additional complications from them. So you don't want to risk it.

Okay. So, he's going to hand you the money. So are we good? So did he give me extensive details on how to contact this person? All right. Look, her name is Kaylee and she runs a little shop called Caged Choice Herbs and Sundries. It should be right in the center of Durnhollow unless she's moved. I haven't been there in a couple of years. You can imagine why. And that she should straighten you right out. Okay. So are we good? And he kind of motions for you. He's kind of nudging you with his hand. Like, come on, we good? Oh, you are on the strictest of probations.

And he stops nudging you. All right, all right. Just don't tell nobody, all right? I got a reputation. You do. This is your opportunity to prove very useful to very dangerous people. All right? And he kind of swallows hard. All right, all right. Do we get down the passphrase thing that he was telling us about? Yeah, he writes it down for you. If you prove that you are not useful to very dangerous people, your life could become very dangerous. All right. Again, I don't want no trouble, man. Good, good. You'll see if the information you've given me is indicative of the fact that you do not want trouble.

You know, I sold you a bunch of good weapons and armor. You don't talk none about that. It's just this holy water thing you keep rattling on about. I mean, you know- Artemis, shut up. All right. That is true, though. He did help us out. You kind of sound like a jerk now. Love my parents. And make sure you destroy that shoddy holy water. You can continue operating, but don't waste the time and money of these people. All right, I'll dump it. I'll dump it. It'll be fine. I'll take care of it. All right. This is an opportunity for growth, Artemis. I'm glad we could have this discussion.

Yeah. I'll put a smile on that face, Artemis. I'm sure we'll be very good friends. Malchus walks out the door. So, Pete? Okay. What a dick. Oh, I enjoyed that. Malchus walks out the door with a spring in his step. That was like a mafia shakedown. It was pretty awesome. I've said it before. I'll say it again. Malchus' grimness is not good aligned. All right. Man, we are scattered all over the place. Let's see if we can get somewhere. Before we move on, can we take a five-minute bathroom break real quick? Yeah. You know what? Yeah. I'm back. Hey. I'm having a lot of fun.

I made a celebratory drink. That was fun. I'm having a lot of fun. I was just telling the guys I'm having a lot of fun pinballing back and forth. It is. It's a lot of fun. Getting to expand the world here? Yeah. It's kind of fun. I get to talk to a lot of secondary characters and stuff that normally you wouldn't get a chance to do. No, I love this kind of filling out the world stuff. It's great. Doesn't all have to be about slavery and the end of the world and all that stuff. Sometimes it's just harassing a local shopkeeper. That's east. Oh, I'm going to. Sorry that stuff wasn't that holy.

But you know you could pick up chicks with this, right? I think we should go around and pick up chicks with this. It's actually bottles of lizard pheromones. I'm in love with you. It's quite the aphrodisiac. Drives ladies wild. I'm sure he would say something like "aphrodisiac." He's not a hick. When you were doing this voice, did you actually imagine Matthew would come in? I don't know. I just try to mix it up so they don't all sound the same. And then the more you guys talk to him, the more his personality kind of fleshed out. So it's just, "Oh, that's who he is.

He's just kind of a sleazy guy." You don't want every sleazy guy having a Boston accent. No. That's every aggressive guy. That's every gnome. Oh, man. No, the greatest part is Artemis has already decided whether he's going to have a peaceful life or a complicated life. All we need to do is just take this information and find out what it does when we use it. Yeah, it's going to set up in an ambush. I don't know. You guys already sound like you don't like Ironhide for some reason. I don't know. It's probably jealousy. I like that thing you did just there for comedic value.

That part where you pretended not to get it? It was pretty good, right? It was pretty good. Think about being a stand-up comedian. Now, you weren't a bully or a demon at all in that conversation, buddy. Let's do this old chestnut. No, it was pretty good. Let them argue it out. I'll be back in an hour and a half. That's episode 33, everyone. You're a fucker. Just five minutes later, it's like, "No, no, no, no, no. Fuck you, buddy." When I watched that eagle kill a duck today, I knew what I wanted to do. I know an omen when I see one. So can I make a request that we flashback to The Room real quick?

So I can... Yeah, hold on a second. Wait until everyone's back. Oh, yeah. I didn't want to do it here. What, the movie? Yes, The Room. That's great. That's a good story, Thorol. You're tearing me apart, Brianna. Wait, I'm sorry. Back up. Hold on. Listen, we all have to go home now, man. Yeah, I think you shouted the wrong name in whatever situation you're in. Oh, jeez. Oh, Tom's not here. I'm here. Let me finish these cashews. Go ahead, man. Eat your cashews. Well, Tom's not in The Room anyway, so we could do this. Okay, we could do that. All right. I got to know where to make the cuts is the thing.

Okay. I think I'm keeping that Room reference in the show, though. That was gold. Better keep my McConaughey joke. Oh, wait. Is Jake here? I will. I'm the shopkeeper. It's like, "You're my favorite customer. Hi, doggy. Bye." The rest of the show is you guys tossing a football back and forth in tuxedos. Fuck. We just opened tuxedos in one scene. It's just visual gags on an audio show. That's all it is. Unsubscribe. It's not even a good movie. All right. We're all ready. I'm wallowing in anguish right now, but I wasn't there for the shop thing. I'm still going to pop Artemis right in his gob.

Oh, you can kill him. You're going to kill him with that Soul Punch. It's Kallik's strength. I just want to watch him pick his teeth up off the floor. We should each shake him down individually and pretend we don't know the others have done it. Technically, I don't. That's what's going to happen. It sounds like I'm not rounding anymore. Man, your friend came by earlier. My baby. It's all good. Wait, wait. What was that? All of a sudden, he became a fucking Gage Raceless One? He became Cody Rhodes' dad. Hey, baby, your friend came by earlier. That's ridiculous. Now I say I say you.

Good God. You changed depending on who saw you. Depending on how frightened he is, he becomes more stereotypical. Let's say he gave you a thousand just to make things right. Yeah, right. Okay. I will then give everybody their corresponding refunds and pocket the difference. Okay. Let's flash. Let's go over. I'm trying to keep all this straight. Let's go back to the room. In the room is Draconis, Thorol, Rodswell, correct? Correct. Yep. Okay. What's going on in there? So, Thorol and I have been discussing the situation and I make a comment and it's, "So, who is supposed to go back and tell Ironhide when we're ready?" I don't think we decided that except maybe it might have been Yennward.

I think Yennward might have been the person because he was supposed to be the one to come back and tell people about Yennward, so I'd assume he'd be the one to go back and get them. Is that assumed or was that stated? I'm pretty sure that was assumed. I don't think anything was really stated about that. Okay. It was never stated that somebody was going to go back and inform Ironhide, so how long was he going to wait? This plan wasn't really fleshed out very well. I really, I honestly don't know. I mean, at this point, I don't even know if we could trust them to still be there.

I look over at Draconis. Draconis, are you lucid? I don't even know what the fuck that means. What do you want? How much time do you have? I don't, it doesn't feel like it's long. Something, I've never felt this before. This is totally different. This is not good. I don't know. I really don't know. Let's do this. Roll an endurance check there, Draconis. Okay, let me see what my endurance is there. Plus six, oh. Oh, that's a seven. Here we go. And 19. Oh, good roll. I'm going to suppress. Okay. Almost. That's great. You feel like you can kind of suppress this a bit. Like you can just through sheer force of will and endurance, you kind of feel like, okay, I can maintain, I can keep it cool for a little while, but only if you're in pursuit of the thing you actually need.

You know what I'm saying? Like it's not like we can just continue on, but it's like, okay, I can walk, I can function, I can, you know, let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do it. Can I run another heal check on him just to kind of. You're not going to do anything new. It's other than you guys. Up his hit point, let him use the healing. Like, you know, I guess it won't really matter. Well, you guys can do that. I guess he can trigger himself. Yeah. Well, the question would be, I guess, Draconis, do you think you'd be okay in here alone? Maybe rest up a little bit while we go take care of business?

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So why don't we have him rest up? Yeah, I'll be fine. Orla and I can head out and meet up with Malkus and give him the new information, I suppose. Malkus has new information to give you. I don't know. Do you guys have anything new to give me? Uh, well, I mean, I, I am now aware that there was actually no plan to go back and get Ironhide. Oh. So. I love group one so much for this kind of stuff. Like Jake, if you start screaming, I quit this podcast. Okay. So that's, I figure we, we know where he's going so we can at least. Okay. So let's, let's meet up with Yenward.

Let's see what Yenward's doing. Still, still kind of like turning over wreckage, I imagine. And like you see burn up picture frames and, and you know, holy relics, things like that. Not relics, but like symbols. And I guess Malkus would wander up on him. Find anything of interest? She did say it had been quite a while since the church burned down. I mean, to me it was a couple of weeks ago. I know that feeling. Is there anything we can do for you? Do you need more time? We need to reconvene the party at some point here. Got vampire issues we haven't handled.

I can wrap it up here. This is just the only thing I knew, aside from you guys. I don't know much. I'm standing in a pile of it. We've all lost a lot of what we knew to be our world. I certainly understand the grief. We can come back to. So you guys are going to meet up with the party again? Yeah, I'll saunter off. I felt sad for you, Inward, there. I did too. It was a sad moment for you, Inward. Okay, so party is back together. Boom. Minus Draconis, who is laying in bed in the room and Ironhide, who's escorting a very deadly vampire by himself back to town. Just taking the vampire for a walk.

Just taking him out, wrapped in poop covered carpet. Well, it's not his poop, so what is there to worry about? Do you ever smell something that rats weren't? It's really gross. It's pretty gross. You know the urine? They just drag urine everywhere, right? Yeah, they're pretty awful. I mean, they're rats. There's a reason they're not so well loved. So party's back together, minus Draconis and Ironhide. True. Okay. Malchus says to Rodswell, "Good news. Artemis has decided whether he's going to live or die. The only thing we need to do to find out which answer it is is follow this lead and perhaps get our hands on some blood ridge, or be totally betrayed and turned against and then have to come back here and dispense justice, adventurer style." And what of the holy water?

Oh, you have a refund. I look at Ynward. Ynward, will that suffice for now? For now. I give Ynward his share and say, "I'd let you throttle him, but he may be useful for the moment. We may need to keep him in one piece." I just want it to be known that this is a little light. Go ahead. 100 gold pieces times five vials of holy water, 500. Did we- No, no, I'm getting a full refund. At a later date, plus interest for my time. What of the fake holy water? Oh, I told him to destroy it. Perhaps at a later time, I can go back and check the water and make sure that he's on the up and up at that point.

But for now, I think we have more pressing matters to discuss. In talking with- Oh, by the way, it seems as if we have bought ourselves some time with Draconis, how long will it take us to follow this lead? Three days out, which means if we take Draconis with us, three days. We have to double back here, six obviously. Hopefully he'll be able to make the travel. He's resting up right now and he seems to think he can control himself for the time being. The good news is it doesn't mean going into Dragonborn territory. So if he's got discomfort with that, we can set his mind at ease.

This matter, in talking with Thoril, it's come to my knowledge that there may have not exactly been a plan on when to retrieve Ironhide, who was going to do so, or if anyone was going to do so at all. So as far as we know- Oh, Yenward, do you know more? I was supposed to come here and I messed up. Were you supposed to go back? Uh-huh. You were supposed to go back. Oh, yes, huh? Almost definitely. That Yenward. How many fucking references have we had this episode? Rest in peace, big mom of prods. We love you Petriki. God damn it. So he is expecting you. You are going back to inform him.

Yeah, I goofed. I was- Can we say I did it? And you know what? I blew up. Yenward, here's my question to you. I have discussed this with Thoril, I have discussed it with Malkus. Right now, we don't know how much we can trust Ironhide. What are your thoughts on the subject? Why couldn't you trust him? You saw what he did back there. We were in danger and he did nothing to help us. You had a point, though. In my opinion, it doesn't matter. He should help his team. We are adventurers. We've helped him on things that we may have not believed in in the past and I expected him to do the same.

Can you note that he got his way anyway, in spite of the fact that he didn't help us? We let him have his vampire pet. I was on his side for that. I didn't want you to kill it. Do you believe that you can still tomorrow stand back to back with Ironhide and trust him? Yeah. Well, you are alone in that assessment. Yenward, the plan is, as of now, to force Ironhide to present Edward as a prisoner. That was the impression I was under. He's going to submit him to the town because as far as I heard, he was going to assist us in battle. I heard that he was going to try to make diplomacy and then at that point, you were going to grant him a town and he was going to assist us.

I am talking of handing him to the leaders and walking away. You guys do what you have to do. This town means a lot to you and by bringing him in here and doing this, he could destroy it. He lived here for a long time and didn't... I don't know. I'm not a big fan of people getting kicked out of their homes. That's breaking my heart. I look at Malchus. Malchus, I can't say I don't understand where Yenward is coming from, but at this point, I don't know what to do. What are your thoughts? I still want to wash our hands of the vampire. I don't trust him to be this special...

Wait, was I there for any of this secret operative stuff, having him infiltrate? Was I there for any of that discussion? No. Any time where the discussion actually happened with me and the vampir. I've informed you of what I heard and Thorol's informed you a little bit of what he heard, but we haven't. Thorol didn't remember the whole thing. I don't want to deal with a vampire lord. He hasn't lived this long without being conniving and tricky. I don't think we should make him an ally. I think we should wash our hands of him. And by turning him over to the town, that's exactly what we would be doing.

Yes. I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. I would like to turn him over to the town just like you. We were hired to do a job. This is us doing that job. Our hands are clean. We did not kill a defenseless man. Yenward, do you... You say you trust Ironhide. Do you trust us? Yeah. Now, I don't... For the record, I don't think we're doing any better for this vampire than killing him ourselves. We'll hand him over to the town and he'll be killed anyway. It doesn't make us any cleaner. I'm saying I don't care. And I'm saying that at least this way he can be judged in some sense.

It's not us. We're not doing the judging. We are... Whatever you need to sleep in that room. Because that's never worked out for us very well. Yes. Obviously. I'm on your side on this one. For the process. Yes. Yenward, if you don't want to be a part of this, I respect that. But I'd ask you not to stop us. Would you agree? Yeah. If you'd like... I don't know whether that was a yes or a no. That sounded like a meow. Catatonic. Did you say meow? Right meow. Another rough word. Pshow. I won't get in your room. Whatever Aubrey wants, I want. Yenward, Draconis is in the room.

If you'd like to join him, you're more than welcome to. Otherwise if you'd like to continue looking around, perhaps returning to where you were. Or you're welcome to come with us. We're not excluding you. We just want to make sure that you know what our plan is when we approach Ironhide. I'll go back to my rubble pile. Okay. So it is now Thoril, Rodswell, and Malkus, and I'm guessing we're heading towards the town gates in order to cut him off at the pass. Is that... Um, yeah, that's up to you guys. I'm asking, yeah, Thoril, Malkus, does that sound correct?

Sure. Let's cut back to the path now. Let's see here. Edward and Ironhide would be close to Aubrey by now. So this is incredibly uncomfortable for this guy. You've wrapped him in a carpet. Right, it's probably hot. Well, I mean, well yes, it's hot. It's pissy, it's a pissy rug. It's a... I thought it was nice, but whatever. He lives in a rat's nest. Like it's... How do you think it's nice? It was nice, but then it became saturated and vermin-piss. Yeah, it's just feces and urine. You put it like that, the whole vermin-piss thing, which, you know, it doesn't sound...

Not to mention, this guy grew up as this aristocratic, like he carries, and you've wrapped him in a carpet, parading him outside, leading him to almost certain death. How embarrassing. It's not his best day. So he's still marching in front of you. Are you going to be silent the entire time? It's nothing to talk about. We're gonna go here, clear your name. You're gonna explain what happened with your side of the story, and... You see, maybe if things go well, maybe you could actually hold up inside your old house for a bit before the thunder spires cleared out from the minotaurs.

My God, I'm not a child. There's no need to tell me some story. You're a lot more optimistic than I am about this situation. Weren't your friends supposed to come back and inform you of how things went in Aubrey? Yeah. Now, my head's covered in a urine-soaked rug, but I don't hear any of your friends. You did bite a few of them. You bought our dragonborn, and he also has a sickness. He doesn't want to admit it, but you can tell there's something wrong with him. So I imagine they're caring for him right now. What I did was in self-defense. Yes. But I didn't bite King Yinward.

I would imagine he would have come back by now. Or did he have to straighten out some affairs with the tomato garden he rules over, or whatever his kingdom may be? Tomatoes are very nice, you jerk. It's a nice place, just not fit for a minotaur. I see he takes orders like a lapdog, not a king. He's not king quite yet. In another few days, he will be. You know, back in my day you had to have some sort of tight land, importance. Now anyone with a small kingdom just calls themselves king. Have you ever seen a minotaur king? I've seen people who called themselves king.

No one I would ever bow to, mind you. That large rug that you parade around in your party is not a king. You know how he earned that right? I would imagine killing someone else who was calling themselves king. Killing somebody else who called himself king, and killing somebody who doesn't deserve to be king are two different things. You know what that man wanted to do? He wanted to rule Winterhaven. He had a sizable force that could kill Winterhaven. I'm sorry, who are we talking about? The old king, before Yinward chopped his head off. It really doesn't matter.

He was just making some small talk before I get my head cut off. I trust my people. They wouldn't do something so stupid as that. Ah, but did they trust you? They left me alone with you. Perhaps they were hoping I would take care of you. Do something they couldn't. What are you trying to say? They're going to try to kill us? Or you or me? Oh no, Aubrey will take care of me, I'm sure. But you, I mean weren't you standing there in combat while my lap dogs took care of your friends? I know if it were me, I would be insulted. Why don't you spend more time walking rather than talking?

Remember, I'm holding a rope that could easily kill you right now. How would the rope kill him? I'd yank it. Just pulling off a rope? Yeah, it's a powerful rope. If you wish to silence me, I'll be quiet. If I said something that struck a nerve, I'm sorry. I don't want to give you too much to think about. Alright, we're going to end it right there. So he's just... Gotta make me mad. You could earn big points with the party if you did. Yeah, I'm murdering somebody who's defenseless. That is pretty cool in the party. Yes, that's what we would like you to do. Please continue.

Please do it. Continue? I don't know what you're talking about. So you guys are going to get... So okay, you're trying to intercept them at the gates or meet them beforehand? We're going towards the gates, but we're going to go out the gates trying to get him... As soon as we can get to him, we want to get to him. They are almost to town. They are a few minutes outside of town. The rest of the party would meet up. Mine is Draconis who's still laying in bed. So the rest... Oh yeah, and Yennward. Sorry, yes. So he hears approaching footsteps before any words are said.

And he's kind of tilting his head trying to pick up how many of them there are. Would that be town guard or your friends? Has to be my friends. They wouldn't call the town guard on us. So you would see them by now. He can hear, but you can see. He probably hears the footbeats, the feats. The feats of justice. Yeah, he can hear it way off, but you can see down the road. So you guys, the party's pretty much reunited except for Yennward and Draconis. And here we are. Okay, and here we are. Sliding into frame. So who is this again? This is Rotswell, Malchus, Thoril.

Rotswell, Malchus, and Thoril. Okay, first thing I want to say is, okay, how's Draconis right now? Is he doing any better? Draconis came in asking for grapes. This doesn't seem to be an effect of the vampire bite. We fed him the grapes and it didn't help. It turns out that he has some illness which requires something called bloodroot, which Thoril knew a bit about. We have a destination in which we can get this and we will treat him, and as of right now he seems like he can pull through for the time being. He's resting up. Okay, so Yennward is not here at this point?

Yennward is not here. Okay, I'm going to ask him where's Yennward? He was supposed to meet me. As it turns out, Yennward has a history in this town. He was raised? How do I put that? He lived in the former chapel that burnt down. Once he learned that, he spent time in the remains. He could not pull himself together enough to finish any tasks that he was given. And Yennward's going to chime in. He's like, "Oh, he must have been king here too." I look at Malchus. I want Malchus to say something right now. Take care of this evil man, please. He's wittier than I am.

I don't have a one-liner for that. Do you want me to just push forward? I feel like you brought up the issue. I was just going to back you up in conversation. It was more of a "this guy" kind of thing at that point when I looked over at you. Oh, gotcha. Ironhide. I'm sorry, I just pictured you making the "this guy" look at Malchus and then Malchus putting his two index fingers up in front of his mouth like fangs and making a derpy face. I just feel like a good cop/bad cop vibe going on between Roswell and Malchus right now. Well, you both want to murder somebody, so it's not really good cop/bad cop.

Cops want to arrest people. Cops want to murder people. They just want to stab, you know? I don't think, you know, Ironhide, we've come to a decision. What are you talking about? Please turn him over. First off, do you really believe that these ropes and this apparatus you've made is going to keep him? You've seen him disappear into thin air. I've told him that. Yeah, and he'll die like any other vampire. What was the point of the... Regardless. Well, no, he had to tie the thing around him. Like that I get. He had to tie the thing so it didn't fall off. Gotcha.

Okay. I see what you did there. He's supposed to be like a ghost, I suppose. But, okay. I get it. His covered ghost, to be precise. Taste what you're going for there. All right. I respect the fact that he hasn't decided to escape and attack you, something like that, and that shows that he's a good prisoner. I would like to take him now and turn him into the town. There we go. What are you talking about, turning him in? I mean, we have taken him as our prisoner. Didn't you tell the mayor that we were coming? No one told me to tell the mayor you were coming. I told you inward.

This was actually the plan. He would tell the mayor. We would go side by side with him up here to the town. What do you mean? That's basically what we're doing. We will be taking him into the town. We'll be surrendering him into the town, and then we'll be on our way. That's what we have decided. Don't be mad at him. His highness must have gotten distracted by something shiny. This guy, right? Come on. I'm not going to say it out loud, but that actually does sound a lot like him. Shiny things. Okay. Let me get this straight. You made another plan without the entire party being there?

Well, I made another plan without the one there who chose not to fight alongside of us when we were in mortal danger. In my opinion, if you follow through with this, you'll be showing to us that you would like to stay with this party and that you're not going to go rogue on us like you had. We will forgive you and we will move on in this, but if you continue upon your way, I don't know what we're going to do. We have not discussed because that thought had not come into my head. All right. Forgiveness. That's fucking adorable. I told you that it was a mistake with all five of you to rush in there with a murder of vampire and to charge in there willy nilly like you did.

And we were able to defeat them without your help. So I don't understand what the mistake was, sir. You just didn't agree with our reasoning, which I have not agreed with your reasoning on many occasions, but I have fought alongside you because we are a party and you did not do so and you must make that up to us at this point. I have to make shit up to you. Which is going to sigh just by the way, Jason, is the orb doing anything right now? It's touching. So it's loves this. Yeah. Fight with each other a little more. It's like shaking dollar bills at you.

Make it rain. We're getting paid guys. We got to do this. It's it's as soon as you get near the vampire again, it's it's it's in your ear. It's it's starting like it's it's almost a whisper at first. And it's getting like he's there. He's defenseless like it's in your ears. He's defenseless. Kill him. And this kill him. And so the party can kind of see me see me hold my head shake, you know, trying to shake it off a little bit. I don't hide. You have no idea what's going on inside my head right now. You understand. I've described to you what this orb does to me and you have no sympathy for that.

You show none. And even if there weren't a thing going on in your head, you're still right. We need to surrender him to the town and be done with him. The fact that I did not destroy him while he was on his knees in front of me shows plenty of restraint. And I'm doing that because I respect you. But at this point, Ironhide, turn him over to us and let us turn him in. I will not murder this man right now. He will seek. He will he will have he will have his day. All right. At this point, he's going to look flabbergasted, like just completely taken off like he doesn't need to answer for anything.

He didn't do any of the crimes. That's just what he says. That is what he says. You are taking his word over the word of clerics. We do not know who is correct in the situation. We were hired to do a job and we will do that job. They want him out. They don't want him dead. How many times? How many times have things messed up? Because we took justice into our own hands. That's what we're doing right now. No, we're not. We're not giving him a trial. We're just turning him over so he dies. That's it is not ours to decide. We were hired to do something. You did not speak up when we were hired to do this.

You did not say no. You waited until the last second. Because we only knew one person's side. They're not monsters. They're not animals. They just need blood to survive. Edwards can speak up. I'm standing right here. He's standing right here! I'm trying to handle this, Ironhide. I'm trying to do my best in any other world right now. In any other situation. I would take out a blade and I would stab this man. But I'm showing restraint out of respect for you. But you have to turn him over to us. Or take him away. Did this vampire lord ever say that he or his faun had never had humans?

No one's ever asked him. No one's ever asked him. The orb is getting louder and louder. It's getting to the point where you can tell it's just impatient. Just go. Kill it. Can I do a check on him? To see what's going on with him? Like his head shaking. He's like, "Ooh, what's going on?" You know what's going on. I've explained. I have- He's going back into town. Not to Roswell, right? Well, I mean, no, but he's had the orb now for a while. And the voices that, like he's crumbled in combat before. I mean, it's pretty- I mean, you could put two and two together.

And when I came out of my coma issue, I explained it to the party too. So. Alright. Cool. So yeah, I mean, it's obvious what's going on right now. And I'm showing as much restraint as I can. I yell again that I will not be a slave to you. Oh, you yell it out loud? Yes. Okay. Edward's just gonna react. No, Edward's like, "Oh, this is quite an adventuring party you have. You have a king carpet, a half devil, a crazy cleric who hears voices in his head." I look at Malchus. Malchus, if you want to take care of him, I won't delay you. Why is he had to take care of him?

I am a cleric and you have no respect for that, Ironhide. You have no respect for my beliefs. You have no respect for my morals. I'll tell you what. None. I'll tell you the truth. You remember right when we stepped out of the, out of Drax tomb, came right back here? What attacked us? And? Warforged. Correct. Warforged did. Did I wait a second to ask them what's going on? They attacked us and I killed them with you. Are we being attacked by clerics right now? No. Okay then. We're not being attacked by vampires right now either. You attacked them, not me. But you took the job.

You didn't turn it, you did not turn it away. You did not say anything there. If you would have spoken up with your problems before we went, before we tackled all those obstacles to get there, before we're standing outside, before I have an orb screaming in my head that I should kill this guy right now. If you would have spoken up, we could have discussed it. But you didn't, you waited until the last second because that's what you do. Because you want the biggest show, Ironhide. What are you talking about? You want it, you want to make a point. That's what all of this is about.

This is not moral. This is you using situations to your advantage. You held us up. You held us hostage. What are you talking about? You held, you did not help us. We almost died and you did not, you didn't do a thing. And you knew you were going to do that going in there and you did not inform us of that. You let it happen. Because you wanted to prove a point because of your pride. That's why you did it. We are giving you an opportunity to prove yourself to this party. We are giving you an opportunity to make right what you made wrong. And you are not taking that.

But I cannot kill this defenseless man because I am a cleric. Because that is who I am. However, I can turn a blind eye if Malchus chooses to. Let's see what this is. Here's what's going to happen. After you say you are not going to do it for like the third time. Beating your chest. The orb is actually going to attack your willpower. Whoa! D20 plus 15. 33. Okay. God diggity dang, that's almost a crit. Rodswell is going to temporarily lose control of his own body. And the orb taking control is going to unsheathe his broadsword. And he's going to make an attack at Edward.

So let me see your melee basic attack. Does he have control of my voice? No, just your body. So I can, so okay. You can, yeah, you can totally say something if you like. So this is all happening within the span of like seconds. So you guys can see- I'll figure I'll try to stop you once I figure out what's going on but it's probably too late. Well okay, you see him reach for his weapon and unsheathe it. That's a dead giveaway. That's something you know is going to happen. Nothing good is going to follow that. But it's weird because he's like "I will not kill this man!" And he fucking pulls the sword out of him.

I yell stop. Yeah, if that's the case I will like- I yell stop me. At this point I do yell stop me. Okay, I mean I try to like use my blade to sweep his feet and knock him down. Well let's do this. Let's have you make an athletics check. Me? No. This would be Malchus. Oh you control me. Yeah, so this would be Malchus like trying to intercept. Yeah that's not going to do a thing at a plus- hey 21! Alright, there's a chance. 21 will do it. Wow, you saved your good roll for just now. I guess I did. Wow, that's only a plus 3. Wow, you rolled an 18. Congratulations. Wow, that's really good.

So how are you going to stop him? I'm going to trip him basically. I'm going to trip him and then I'm going to kneel on his back to hold him down. God damn it. Tell him you tripping. Okay, you tripping dog. So Malchus is going to sweep the leg and and and Rotswell's going to fall backwards instantly after hitting the ground you can see him trying to clamor like it's after he hits the ground it it it's it's pretty much like the the the orb like let go like that was like it jarred his his brain loose or something like it was just the like it's like oh shit and he but he's still Rotswell would still be like almost like he's trying to swim on the ground or something he's he was trying to do anything to get control of his body again like his his he gets return of his limbs it's like oh he just he's freaking out for a second but yeah like that like you are free from the control of this thing for for a few minutes okay i turned him out because i said thank you and can i get up yeah i i let him up and say looks like i'm going to be talking this one out aren't i i look at ironhide jerec this is what happens i cannot control this i'm trying as hard as i can i don't know how much longer i can understand that and have sympathy you have sympathy for monsters i'm not talking about him in front of me but he has i'm sorry i guess i put that down oh no offense you have sympathy for all creatures i've seen you have sympathy for many different creatures and yet i've seen none for your own party i have no idea what to say you've realized the reason that you're in this predicament where you have to be at the mercy of that orb and he points directly at the orb so he's not confused so no one's confused and says the only reason you're in the mercy of that thing is because you picked it up like a child and put it in your pocket without checking what it was don't you lecture people on fickle decisions don't you even begin we live in a complicated career we have to make decisions at a snap judgment that's what i'm doing right now and you're wrong and there are three of us here to say so we're turning the vampire over or we're running him through right here and we're done with it now are you going to stand aside or am i going to stop both of them i'm tired i'm tired i'm exhausted i hold my hand to valcus there is option three which is you take him turn around and we never see you again those are the options you're giving me just walk away like nothing happened the only person that actually stood by you that is war forged in this new life that you uh you gave us i told you we should have killed king carter or i'm sorry carter at that point he was nothing then 17 years later everything's fucked all because of the decision you made malkus and i've backed your decision i backed it great this is great i love i love that you're here now also blaming me for something 17 years beyond what i could have ever imagined you've seen what he was doing that's how he found depending on my ability to walk in there and stop it i did not expect to have to hibernate for almost two decades i'm not talking about hibernate i'm not talking about hibernating how did we find draconis tell me he was in a cage he was being wheeled to overdale why because he looked at others that weren't human elver dwarf as a threat because of things that we did ironhide because of because of us taking justice into our own hands which is what you're trying to do again this is ridiculous we have this we have the ability to make things right we are given this opportunity by the gods and you're squandering it by butting up with a vampire we can turn him no offense taken we can turn him in right now and be on our way and continue amassing this army you're asking for us to enlist the help of maybe 20 people 20 people what did he do to you i'm you got the drop on him or at least on his group i don't know if you actually got the drop on a 300 year old vampire and and by the way how do you think he became a 300 year old vampire by getting inside everybody's face no he did it by faking things through and killing people he only had to kill he's not a murderer let me interject you're discussing this openly in front of this guy yeah the ropes that are tying him together that's just to keep the carpet on correct okay so it's it's safe to say that you didn't use like a whole fucking no i tied around my arm though okay what's going to happen right now is this guy is going to make an athletics check he's going to break this rope with ease oh shit and he's going to charge rottswell you guys are standing right right next to each other he's gambling on the fact that he can bite rottswell and get enough blood to make it to some kind of shade before he burst into flames what sorry he's just he just like well he basically said we're going to take him to his demise so it's hard to believe him right it's it's yeah it's yeah yeah once his surprise round is over malchus will open fire so go for it well okay here's what's going to happen he is going to roll this athletics check and let me see what is rottswell's this would be against his reflex awful um 17 okay well okay edwards rolling at a plus 14 um so let's so you're telling me there's a chance jesus not okay that's a 24 now the only thing i'm going to say is thoril has been standing here silent the entire time i would imagine that thoril's case history with vampires he's just studying this guy the entire time not taking his eyes off of him i agree i agree i will i will let thoril roll an athletics check and if it's higher than 24 i'm gonna let thoril interrupt what's happening oh balls oh get him thoril 24 is a little high no no pressure man no pressure 31. oh what are you doing to stop that was i imagine you just have your axe out i have my axe and i'm just gonna bury it in him okay uh that is a crit i'm gonna totally let you do that um so he bursts forth from this this urine-soaked carpet and ropes and he is just going to lunge at rottswell an axe comes down from out of nowhere and just plants it in his skull and he is going to fall forward and burst into flames and edward is reduced to ash that solved itself thoril looks up at parenthood and just goes okay well i think we're done here can we go now rottswell speechless shock it occurs to me we're bad at communicating that should not have taken that long yeah just a little bit you know i don't buy that shit i don't know what to do at this point like like you spoke openly about murdering him no i didn't i said we were going to take him to trial no you said and you don't mind if malkus kills him right now you did rottswell did say several times like i don't care if he dies or not like several times hold on hold on this should not cause more argument hold on he's going to he's dead already can we go now all right that's what we do nice try idea it was a nice truck no i just you know i uh yeah i did but i mean my idea the thing i was supporting was that i was going to take him to trial let him stand trial he fucking did it that's what happened you saw what happened yeah and you also spoke openly about murdering him right now you don't mind if it happened so he took that as like oh shit this is gonna end bad there's one guy fighting for me three guys right there well if he was right he should have been able to stand trial like we were discussing when he decided to spring out an attack that's a dangerous philosophy but malkus is going to speak up against you dude we're what this is is a bunch of clerics talking to a vampire this seems like we're rushing a black guy into alabama like in the 40s it's not very good for this guy well okay look let me let me see if i can cut through this rottswell is pretty much of the mindset like well that's done let's go ironhide is pretty much of the mindset nothing has changed you guys just took away his options that's why he did that he was he was backed into a corner and he acted in defense correct that is what's on the table i'm letting you guys know there's not really a need to argue for another hour and a half about it no no i'm just gonna shake my head just walk right past him and say let's go smh i um turned to thorold i extend my hand i reciprocate and he kissed so there's just this burning carpet like this like it's just like him and like like the the this his everything's just on fire like ash and then this this pissy car is laying there um can yeah if malkus and thoril agree can we go into the clerics and kind of tell them what happened no someone loot his sword oh yeah we give the cleric say we need to loot the the the burning carpet though thank you thank you god wasn't there to do it so thoril can do that technically that's his kill and a notable kill at that it was almost my notable kill but someone talking about it uh the price of role-playing huh yes did somebody update thorol's uh negative roles two of them i did let's go you got two in a row that was pretty awesome okay thor we want to kind of hold on stats yeah i'll i'll loot him um among his uh well among the ash and everything um the only real thing of value here uh is this antique silver sword that uh is almost almost a radar uh so a bit of irony that that this this this ancient vampire lord was using a silver sword but uh this thing is decadent beyond measure this thing is worth a ton uh just you know jewel encrusted handle and and this thing was forged by some some some really talented skilled people so yeah this is worth a ton i i look at the so i look the sword up and down i realize how useful it could be to me and i say thoril out of respect for what you did i'm not even going to ask for it but maybe we can strike a deal in the future um get that gold star um thoril's gonna say considering i'm a dual wielding axe guy i don't really have a use for swords and i don't have a ton of use for money and then i hand the sword over to rodswell you jerk how are you gonna use it i'm i because yenward wants all the weapons i wanted the money oh that makes sense i know exactly what yenward wanted it is a longsword it is that is something that broadswell can wield so okay let me let me let me ask you guys something what is the plan now like what okay you okay several things were discussed you guys talked about going back to winterhaven you guys talked about going to durn hollow uh what what do you guys want to do like what's the plan as far as i know right now we're going to go back to aubrey talk to the talk to the clerics and then i think we need to do durn hollow to fix your colors we're going to do that bloodroot we gotta go see if they actually want to deal with us what the uh yeah the dirt hole yeah okay so let's let's okay let's uh let's get you guys so basically you're turning in the quest is like it's done like it's basically what you're doing is you're telling him that the deed is done it's there's no need to worry show him the soul to make sure that you know there's proof okay okay so you are you're marching into uh the the chapel here with um so uh father white is is is doing his his priestly things and you guys walk in and he takes notice uh and he he drops what he's doing he's talking to somebody and he walks right over gentleman how how did things go well it took longer than expected but i'm about the sword took care of what we needed to take care of so you're you're holding up the sword to him yeah well i'm not not in a threatening way here we go right no i mean not like it just back off back yeah i'm holding it out to him this would this is quite a donation i i i don't know if we can i i really if you can't accept it i could i could use it if you would like if you if you need the money you couldn't use it i'm sure i we could we could definitely use the money in in town here i taking care of the the scum that was those undead villains was quite enough and then on top of this i we truly owe you a debt i hand over the sword you just got it it's all right he's lawful good he's a cleric he understands uh he understands he's got a new sword um okay that would i just i guess if that's what if that's how you're gonna play it dick dm then that's the way you held it out to him that like you like this guy if i killed him and i was showing him proof it wasn't me right right you you could have told him no like it's totally i said i said i could really use it but that's some girl shit you're expecting him to just like oh no you can keep it you should keep it if you want it sir would it be okay with you if i held on to the sword for our battles and then after the war is over hands off the checker piece um he's he's holding the sword now and uh yeah sure sure uh of course and he hands it back to you i apologize for the misunderstanding but i assure you that once we've accomplished our task this will be yours no need it was i i assumed i'm sorry i i i i i would love to be able to give you some kind of donation of that of that size but i'm a little strapped for goals at this point no no i i i'm no appraiser you why don't you take it by artemis's shop i'm sure he'd give you a fair price yeah that's what i do need to run by artemis shut up um malchus uh malchus makes a donation to the church uh in the quantity of the difference between the gold he got refunded and the extra gold on top okay all right so you're talking about probably let me see i think it's 300 okay uh whatever it was okay okay so that that that's very generous thank you can i give him my old sword that's probably not worthwhile he doesn't care he doesn't care about your yeah it's not yeah this was this silver here's my blood soaked like here's my thing it's it's fine for an adventure but i mean it's not like worth like you know um have you genuine picked up your horses yet you said you had you were interested in purchasing horses not yet not uh well i've spoken to to lewis he runs anderson stable um he's more than willing to cut you a more than fair deal we as i said we are in your debt and i i want this to be well i want to help you as much as i can you've already done a lot father um and i'm sure that the clerics you will be loaning us are going to be very skilled uh they they will be more than helpful as a i'm quite sure that will prepare things here um and he's he's shaking each of your hands he's going down the line he gets to you know he sees he's shaking rodswell's obviously in malkus um and he's extending his hand to ironhide no yeah i'll shake it okay so i i'm just just checking just um is should we travel so where where is this battle going to be fought we'll send you word when we know right now we need to get more numbers and then have an idea of who is on our side rest assured you'll know as soon as we do all right in the meantime here things here have your clerics prepare and be vigilant ready at a moment's notice this is i i make no exaggeration when i say that the fate of the continent is at stake uh he gets kind of a grim look on his face if you say so yes i will have everything prepared uh malkus yes rodswell should we check in on the the project that you were looking into which one oh we don't need to anymore do we never mind which project oh well you've got a lot of fingers and pies in the celsius still off looking up books about grapes like we've never gotten claraissa oh we should probably um i i tell the head cleric to say uh tell uh oh uh please inform claraissa uh that she can uh take whatever research she's done and place it place it at the end under my name but that she does not need to research further unless she is just enjoying the process i will do that florissa sorry about that that's all good um so gather yenward gather uh draconis uh haul off to durin hollow should we rest well yeah we'll sleep we'll sleep for the night we're probably so you want to get this horse thing squared away yeah so a couple of members of your party are quite heavy uh and uh yeah um he so oh so louis anderson the guy who runs anderson's stable um he he has regular size horses uh and then he also he also offers what he calls large mares which are these really big picture cleid's dale's but cleid's dale's are meant for pulling not not carrying so much so these are just really big horses bred for uh races other than human like let's say dragonborn or i mean not really iron for uh iron hides uh people but they can ride so they're a bit more expensive they're they're a little pricier um but because you guys are being cut such a deal uh the horses are 350 apiece and the large mares are 450 apiece uh 350 or 3050 three three hundred and fifty oh yeah we can do that i i want you i don't need a big one though i'll just take no no you're you're totally human you're you're and neither did uh i mean neither does malkus or it's it's the people who weigh 500 and above yeah i'm full figured so uh what point is this am i there now or what what's going on we'll get one for you okay we should gather up the gather up the party uh i'll um broadswell do you want to go get yenward or go get traconis um i think i'll take whichever one you don't aren't they in the same place no they're not no uh i i will take i will go get traconis okay i'll go get yenward uh is well i'll go to i'll go to the church and see if he's still sifting is there i mean is there role play necessary for me getting traconis or is he just all right okay so parties gathered you guys have your horses i'll deduct the prices from everybody a little later um it is about 11 do you guys want to go ahead and do the ride to to durn hollow just to get it going yeah that'd be cool yeah okay sure and we're here to look kind of silly on a horse he does do we what did we rest up yeah yes okay so this would be i'll go ahead and uh rest you guys up hold on a second let's let's give you guys a rest on the way to durn hollow um you're kind of you're you're leaving these lush fields of of albrey behind they got their their nice uh their nice gardens and they're pretty self-sustained like they they they have a nice little community going and you start to ride south now durn hollow is just uh it's southeast of albrey it's the next it would be the next town on the road if you were just following the road and on horseback that's that's nothing you guys are i imagine you how fast do you want to ride i'd say with some figure i mean as fast as draconis can bear in his state yeah okay okay um who would like to roll a perception check not me me me me not really uh let's see let's pick someone who hasn't had a had a ton of draconis draconis okay okay do me a favor roll uh roll a perception check oh it's six that's gonna be low but okay let's do it oh wow not low critical 24 critical okay you guys are riding uh riding along the road here and uh out of the corner of his eye draconis sees um past the tree line like he like it's it's set back away from the road he sees uh what appears to be this this larger boy like a teenager beating the living shit out of this kid yeah i mean like wailing on him like he's down on the ground picking him up punch him pick him up punch him like he's like he's really beaten he's going to town on this kid i like this money um now you have a you have an option you can you can go check this out or you can just keep riding the durn hollow so only draconis sees this well it's it's a thinker he's gonna pick it up and he's gonna look over and see it and i would imagine the rest of the party was kind of like i was like hey what's he looking at that kind of thing because it's not something it's you're you guys are riding with some uh with some purpose but you're not like full-on like like streaking towards town so it like it you guys would have time to see this like it's kind of set back behind some trees um well do we have time to be well let me ask draconis first because he's the first one who saw it like what what does draconis want to do draconis uh doesn't give a shit okay draconis could care less he doesn't even speak up when he sees it he just he just looks back forward and doesn't even acknowledge anything doesn't say a word okay um does anyone else want to do anything about it kind of malchus malchus snidely says we should probably get involved in that 17 years from now that bigger men could become very evil oh shit do we want to be do-gooders right now fellas so is malchus riding towards no these kids no malchus is making a sarcastic joke if so okay so if someone else decides to go for it malchus will support them but i'll do it fuck it that does it does seem like a inward thing so this this okay the kids kicking the shit out of this this smaller kid he looks like he's maybe like 10 11 something like that this kid's just wailing on um so let me ask you guys what let's do this let's change maps now how old is the bigger kid he's he's uh he's a teenager like he looks to be maybe like 14 15 something like that okay so let's do this let's put the let's just to show you guys where these where these kids would be they're like right here so the so to for those of you can't see at home there's the tree line and just before that there's these two kids um so yanward's gonna ride off the road and out now are you riding up with your horse no i'll just mount okay and you're just gonna approach him on the tree line um does anyone else want to go with yanward uh i will i'll follow and support yeah i'll follow i'll follow all right okay so everyone but your konas who apparently just keeps riding along no no i said i i i uh i'm gonna ride my horse up okay so encountering that okay so here's what's gonna happen okay um so just kind of approaching them uh what's what's gonna happen is um as you get close go ahead yanward make a perception check sure that would be a boop 16 16 okay um here's what's gonna happen uh what's gonna happen is as you get close to these trees uh it's become very apparent that someone is holding one of these really it's kind of this willow tree and someone's holding this thing back and as you get close they're gonna let it go and it's gonna make an attack okay let me get whacked through the tree that's fun uh 34 versus your fortitude yeah that okay so that's gonna knock yanward on his ass uh that's gonna do uh that's just uh 1d 6 plus uh five seven now what happens is all of these children come skittering out of the trees like fucking insects um and the little shysters the one boy who is getting the shit kicked out of him starts to kind of limp back towards the tree right like towards the tree line three children are going to skitter out of these trees and they're going to uh they're all going to start to approach yanward um that's they're going to get a surprise round against you how old are these kids um they look to range between like anywhere between eight and like 13 or 14 years old they're young dude i'm gonna wreck these kids when you know why don't we just throw fucking money down at them like not murder kids i'm not really gonna murder them yeah just start swinging at them we're just gonna hold this hand out and they're gonna punch at a fuck okay what i'm gonna do is add them to the initiative tracker right is there something suspect about their appearance other i mean well wait did they like spider climb down the tree um they they all just kind of let go like this was what this is clearly something to lure people in yeah okay okay so there's no thing we're not going to sit here and have another 30 minute moral debate over whether or not these things can be freed right right it's just they're just street urchins basically they look like pockets right and i said that for the benefit of the listeners who might have been afraid that we would well the reason we did it before oh my god there's a half a tree right there that's creepy um the reason we did that before was because it was like we're gonna kill him right now right without him being like are you really starting the discussion i said we're not gonna have no i'm just saying like i'm just defending myself because you keep making these snarky little comments like you're sonic the hedgehog i apologize i i relent no it's not another word okay not another word okay street urchins so child number three like let's let their little street urchins right so as soon as yenward goes down they spring into action this is this is what they trained for so he's going to he's gonna move over to uh yenward and he is going to use his pickpocket attack to uh which is uh plus 13 versus your reflex uh 21 uh let me hold on yeah okay so i think it's hilarious that like yenward out of all people is about to get pickpocketed and looted poetic justice so i'm gonna roll 4d6 and whatever the number comes up that's how much gold he just took from you uh 13 so this little shit just took 13 gold out of your like he just they spring into action and while yenward's like huh like he's he's prone they're just they're grubby little mitts are all over you uh so uh number three just got 13 gold let me write this down just to make sure yeah like to huff him in the face from my bag just boom you'll get your chance in a minute um uh let's see uh number four's turn uh he's gonna do the same attack i really want to know what number four's teeth look like just falling out of his mouth 17 versus your reflex i just hit fuck you he's gonna get away with 15 gold and uh because he he's gonna shift up one to start to get away from you i have bad luck can we like go through all the bad things that happen to me i've been blinded i've been ingested by a giant worm i've fallen in lava little kids are pickpocketing me my house fell down on top of me nobody believes that blinding thing was all but nope nobody believes i am dan that's true i believe i believe you are that blinding thing was all your fault not really that was greed that was greed um that okay so uh number two the kid who was getting the shit kicked out of him he is going to slink off uh down this path over here he's going to just start to to to to kind of like walk off uh number one is going to sidle up right here next to yanward and he's going to make a similar attack 15 versus your reflex uh you didn't get anything okay that's gonna miss and number five is going to do the same thing 16 versus yeah it's gonna miss oh that hits yes uh 16 oh wow he's gonna go away with 17 gold do we have to help yanward it's totally up to you like this is this happens in the matter of these guys have been they have trained for this apparently because this happens within seconds like yanward's walking up okay what are you kids whack down and these kids just just skitter from the tree line and just and just start i mean for how shitty it is i would imagine laughing his ass off of the irony yeah i just like the idea of us sitting behind the tree just kind of giggling trying to hold back so the rest of the party go ahead and roll initiative oh ironhide you just stood back i'm thinking about doing that only because it's like dude these are children what are we gonna do that's a 14 for draconis nine for malkus everyone sounds urban 15. 13 it has a 10 15 for rottswell yes sir okay and 13 for thoril uh and what did you get there ironhide 10 10 i kind of don't want to go first because i know it's gonna be like oh let's go tell them anyway and yanward i rolled mine earlier i had a 23 23 oh shit okay yeah yanward's stinkers yanward's are going first now yanward you're prone what would you like to do i would like to stand up and give them a very stern look okay that's an intimidate check you can intimidate him you could which one which one are you in particular uh which one would i be most which one was the big kid the one i'll tell you the first one yeah okay so just roll an intimidate check that'd be d20 plus whatever it is right yep right 19 uh that scares the shit out of this kid so you this this giant bull man that they managed to knock down and then pickpocket stands up before they get a chance to run away and just i imagine just snorts or whatever pick him up by his hair okay wait wait wait that's not an intimidate check so much as you that's a murder check probably probably could have been you can grab him if you just whipped out storm render i mean are you trying do you want to grab him or intimidate i'll intimidate him okay um yeah he's pissing his pants he's he's totally like he's going to run away the first chance he gets um rodswell okay do you want to do anything else there yanward or just what else can i do pop an action point get him i'd like to use bone crusher on number five his soft pliable bones crush him i'll just you know it's the end of my turn it's fine okay rodswell okay i'm gonna go on mosey up here next to what number am i next i can't read it five five okay um i'm gonna do dark speech seriously no all it does is push him over and he falls prone and grants combat advantage he just it'll push him back and freak him out so okay this is kind of what monsters do well i'm not i'm not i'm making sure i can't hurt him well you know okay go ahead 25 against fortitude reflex and will holy shit okay um that hits all of his stuff all of it so what does it do um okay so uh fortitude it for all false prone reflex it grants combat advantage it doesn't say what it does for will it jettisons him back i believe yeah it's supposed to but it doesn't say it on my thing for some reason well we know what it does okay push them back yeah it pushes them back at speed so he's just gonna go flying like through the tree he'll hit four too i guess okay so this child is wearing no armor not wearing none so this is a child this is a child in tattered racks rodswell moves up and uses dark speech this kid is jettisoned back five spaces and he's going to land flat on his back and take a d6 damage oh it does no damage what the hell do you think you're gonna fling him backwards for like it's a child wearing no armor yeah the first off you didn't tell me you didn't have any armor and second who makes child's armor little baby greaves wait wait wait okay hold on hold on try to be adult did we or did we not establish that things these things were behaving like monsters didn't didn't i say does anything look suspicious about them and they're street urchins street urchins don't wear armor come on we're dealing with a bunch of aladins here i guess okay i felt like i would have known this was going to cause damage i just thought it was like i thought as a cleric i thought i had a kind of passive attack that could push something back i don't think you're going to kill the kid i don't think we need to work dragon shouted him next tuesday hey i'll finish him off don't worry yeah i just i regret it like i said i didn't realize it was going to hurt i thought i got to defend dan dan on this issue you're kind of adding an effect to his attack he didn't assume oh why he's flinging him you know every time roswell uses an attack there's an argument about it and like i did add an attack if you remember i added an addendum to a roswell attack last time because it didn't do anything this time i'm doing it again and now there's an argument it's it's just i wish i would have known that before but i can do it now it's fine i'll roll it i'll i'll do it i'm just not happy about this yeah okay i'm okay it wouldn't make any sense for someone in in armor or even like leather or something or a full-grown adult to take damage from falling back five spaces you are jettisoning this kid 25 feet and he's landing on his back okay is it is it a fear effect or is it a force effect because if it's a force effect it's hurling him it's a fear effect maybe he's just fleeing it's it is is uh fear does it say that it's a sphere in shadow the encounter that's what it says yeah like i think the interpretation like i think you're picturing fleeing back and it's a fear effect the idea is that you're saying something so like dark and magically blasphemous that it says you push the target up to its speed pushes a game mechanic term though that's the thing push pushes a mechanical term okay i'm fine with that but we've always treated it as he's flinging something back we go back and listen we've always treated it that well we weren't depending on it doing damage like we were depending on it functioning as it always has it's not fun let's go it was it wasn't gonna kill the kid anyway but fine okay i'll roll the jig i mean if you no no no we stopped something interesting from happening it's okay please let's just go that fire was put out that's just gonna take it back is all i was gonna do is i no no no it's fine it's fine the kid just runs away five spaces next um let's fun vanquish i have to know does he knock into the kid behind him too i'm not even gonna get into that uh let's go to child punch a hole through his heart child number three is going to sprint towards the tree line and unless yenward's going to take an opportunity attack nothing's going to happen i'd like to do that oh my god can i grow the basic i just want to grab have them well uh rules wise you would get to make a base a basic melee attack oh no i don't want to do that that'd be horrible i thought it'd be like a like an acrobatics check or something to like grab them reflex was yeah do a back flip let's keep it moving um uh child number four is going to do the same thing and just sprint towards the tree line uh draconis your turn you guys probably aren't gonna like this shit oh god fireball all right i'm still on my horse okay oh fuck me so i'm gonna cast fireball i knew it i knew it it's coming i'd like to shield my eyes and turn the other way even if they did take my money i'm going to uh cast wall of fire okay oh there you go i just wanted to eat right there okay okay where are you going right in front of them cutting them off or running through the tree line they're cutting okay so let's read wall of fire just to make sure that i'm pretty sure they're going to take damage i'm just making i just want to see here uh wall oh fire that is a daily so we're going to check that off uh you contrary wall of fire that lasts until the end of your next turn the wall can be started up to four squares high so this is a 20 foot wall of flame that just bursts in front of them um any creature that starts its turn adjacent to the wall takes 1d6 damage plus intelligence modifier damage any creature that enters the wall to start its turn there takes 3d6 intelligence modifier plus intelligence modifier damage okay so yeah this that so they're running towards a tree line and there's this uh this little path and blocking a a huge uh swath of this tree line just fire just this big wall of fire and i want to let out a huge fucking roar and say fuck these kids okay fuck up in the fire tricotis does not like children um thoril your turn um i really don't see anything i can do other than use your arrow i'm not gonna hurt the kids uh tip off and just shoot the little stick at him i'm just gonna i'm just gonna mosey on up to yenward and i'll probably just spend my turn there maybe laugh and point and laugh at him as a minor action i'd like to take an opportunity to attack against the world for being a jerk uh child number two is going to slink into the forest and disappear felt like the boy who lived the one kid who got the shit kicked out of him to start this whole little thing is going to sneak away with no money um ironhide your turn and alive having used green flame blade in a while i'm just now uh this this this rock i'm in front of what is it like is it just like a big old boulder that's sitting right in front of us or what is it like just a series of rocks it's not even difficult terrain or anything it's just rocks the chuck rocks chuck rocks i'm just like fuck these kids bite my uh tongue as i'm doing it um now i'm just gonna put down 50 gold i think that's all these kids want they just want to eat okay so you're subtracting 50 gold yeah i'm just gonna put like in a stack like bam like right here do you know you put 50 gold down right in front of the endward well i'm saying like an opportunity attack on the money yeah all right wait opportunity attack on the money he's gonna snatch that shit don't do that man come on they're kids oh man all right are you done justin what's your wisdom modifier there jaconis uh i think it's a zero these kids are good uh it has like a zero like it's got 10 with zero okay okay so plus half your level for checks oh god well no no no this is this is part of his this this was his uh power okay yeah yeah yeah really your wiz modified is your oh intelligence is your bag okay so here's what's going to happen these kids have about six hit points god damn it if i crit with a six this kid's dead so this is just a flat if i'm understanding your power correctly let me just check it real quick thank you um 1d6 plus the okay yeah so it's just 1d6 so let's uh that's a one so this wall of fire is is just just kind of catches this kid's like shirt arm on fire and he's just like patting it out and uh he is going to uh uh he is going to start fleeing the opposite direction towards the tree line up here okay good that's good uh next up is malkus uh malkus will see what um iron hides doing and uh he's not gonna fire um i see by the way i just figured out how i misinterpreted this as monsters i i totally i get it now i get what's going on um malkus will what they took um debating if it's even worth the intimidate check um he holds out he holds out his rod like he's gonna shoot magic at him and he says return and lay down the money and we will not open fire um these kids are shitting themselves like this was not the fight they like what they figured was you guys are going to be riding by they they thwack someone real quick they run his pockets and and get out of there this is turned into a cluster when they see it's an eight-foot ball man well the guy like the kid hiding behind the tree with the with the they didn't they didn't really see you coming they just hear footsteps and let go like it oh shit that's a minotaur like it's then they're probably starving um number five okay uh number five is just going to run one two three four five right into the tree line there um yen where's your turn 13 15 17 yeah so 45 altogether i don't really care that much yeah just gonna let him go just yeah they land on that person uh do you as a party decide to let them go i do i'm for it yeah i'm not for sure i'm good hmm oh but they're all just so close together aren't they jake oh enough for a fire what's the radius on a fireball definitely definitely in range for a fireball come on come on we all want to have nightmares that we can never forget but i'm gonna i'm gonna uh smack my horse and say giddy up let's get that that's the spirit all right so let's tell your friends what you see dude so these kids there will be a reckoning oh and i want to look at everybody like at the right as we're about to take off and say no more fucking pit stops agree no more fucking kids i think that that's okay at the risk of slaughtering children i think it's time that we uh wrap it up for the evening um man i did not think you'd come that close to killing kids i i really dude i am so sorry i didn't want that to be an argument i didn't i just no no i just want us to be consistent it took me back when you said that i just want to be like oh fuck no because because whenever i did dark speech i always pictured me standing up there saying something intimidating and then running off that's what i always well we've always perceived it as like whenever there's a push attack we've done it for scions too where it's just like and you flick them back like we've always done and there was always damage taken and everybody was okay with that but i've never come into a situation where dark speech has slammed someone against something yeah we've done that before like you've you've flicked up in the forest fights and stuff you've flicked uh um warforged into rocks and trees and stuff i mean anytime i've we've done a push attack where someone would land because i always pictured it as something like it's dark speech like you're pushing like it's like you have the power to make them fall down that's not them getting on the ground that's them that's you like overpowering their see and i just thought because it said they can hear you i thought it was me standing in front of them giving a dark speech and them being it's right yeah yeah i mean you could yeah i but i wouldn't put you in a situation with like and you murdered that child but you did because you said that they had six hit points and you made me roll a d6 but you also did the moves so that's what we're saying but this was yeah i mean like i did like the odds were really heavily against it unless you rolled a crit in that specific so i guess i did like yeah i guess i did put you in a situation you could have murdered a child they make you feel better i almost killed one too and this thing is like i i thought i i was just thinking of it as a passive thing i didn't see anything you can slam against i was just like this is gonna be me intimidating and and like and i would have just gone if you know like i said if i would have known that it would have caused any damage i'd be like fuck no we're not doing that i'll just scream that in any other circumstances it would have done no damage but these are like kids and like like if you pick a kid up and throw them 25 feet he's gonna take some damage to scrape a bruise yeah it's just like the the how much never come across the point where the context for the push has been so absolutely critical i hear that and completely against my character you know what i'm saying like right right right right and i didn't picture you wandering up and using anything like dark speech on them like i didn't like that was so that's fine that's totally i thought it was okay both sides of the argument we got through we got through and nobody murdered a child that's the the good news is nobody murdered a child congrats would have been a notable kill like this is a point of growth yeah i'm here right so notable kids a child like child number seven also as a notable kill definitely i would have just killed myself like this completely harmless it's supposed to be like chicanery like and it just turns into this grim kill it's a small poor child his guts hanging out right see like i'm just picturing me going up and being like by the lord i just command you you know that kind of thing the funniest part is that would have been his first notable kid a kid a child the priest's first notable kill i actually i i actually was gonna say is duncan a notable kill because i did have to kill duncan or shadow duncan oh that's right you didn't kill shadow duncan i thought i did because i killed shadow duncan yeah thor got the world got the last hit on a lot of things we went back and listened to we also got the most damage on a lot of things you specifically didn't want to do it so thor that's right that's right yeah i i hesitate okay you're right yeah so i would say that this episode is much more listenable than the last one i haven't edited it yet but i would say that yeah that that there was a little bit of arguing but a lot less i really didn't want it to that turn in argument i apologize about that no no no not that i'm talking about the half hour of you standing in front of a vampire telling him you're well we gotta murder him right guys that's the problem i had it's like you did say murder him i mean you're sorry but you did say that but i don't understand why i didn't run it with the murder thing when it was malkus that was saying that he was gonna murder him no if you want to blame anybody for the murder part it should have been malkus like why guys you kept saying though but i don't mind if this guy wants to kill him okay shut up shut up i'm not i'm not blaming anyone for anything i'm just saying it's just two sides and you know we're beyond it and that's that's the way i can't let an argument take place for two hours on the show anymore and not do anything like stuff is gonna happen as a result because it it wouldn't make any sense for him to just stand there it's like okay i'm just gonna let you kill me this can turn into an extremely passive aggressive uh email conversation that will create festering discontent among the party for years to come i told i messaged jason in a couple minutes before that and i was like can i just kill him i was trying to like there were several times where i was just kind of hope like i kind of gave an opening for malkus or thorold to jump in and just kill him and then like just Justin was not just like that it was like oh no it's like Justin's a pit bull with that like he was not letting that one go and the crazy part was eventually i started to see oh so if the just if the diplomacy doesn't work ironhide's gonna have to let go so we know that's that's definitely what i was saying like the last episode this one where it was definitely like dude if he's found guilty or whatever it's like no we have handprints and we have we have proof that his that his ass was killing things and it's like well i can't really fight for you bro i wasn't saying no it still sounds like you're the judge in that situation how do you figure well because okay like if they would have if they would have just gone you know what we think he's guilty we're gonna go ahead and kill him no what i was saying was like let him defend himself though i'm not saying compound saying like let him talk it out i'm just kind of you know what's interesting about all this we'll never find out i know and that's what's i'm just i'm very curious to know and and since since this is this is just like alternate storyline stuff if we would have let you go in and do that and they don't get it both ways like if it wouldn't have been adequate for you if if they didn't prove his guilt but you but they still found him guilty would you have let it go who me yes i said that i was doing that so no but even if you didn't agree with the verdict you would have been with no i wanted to just say come on we're leaving this place just walk out like no it would have been over it's like either way if they were like oh no no we don't want to listen to him we just want to burn him we just want to burn something right now it's like well i can't really do anything about it these guys are the way that he was looking at it was like these guys are already guaranteed to help us out i'm not going to stick my neck out completely for somebody else it's always been about the support of armies and and and groups of people or whatnot it's not about fighting for a cause it's just about what we need this guy because he has a unique ability that him and people like him have that we just can't utilize right see i was and i i was under the impression even up until the end that it was going to be a situation where if they want to kill him and you don't agree with their reasoning then you're going to take him out of town and bunker him up somewhere how would i be able to take him out of town if we're already in town well exactly i think it wasn't a matter of whether or not you were capable it's what you were going to try and get pinned to our party which is what we we we all if we i think if all of us would have understood that if you were if we had all understood that you were saying if i walk him into town and they say no trial we're just going to burn him i'll drop the issue which is what you're saying right that's what i've been saying yes okay all of us misunderstood you justin and that's why we argued about it for half an hour because we thought you were going to cause a big problem with the town if they just said no trial put him to the sword done with it like that's what we all thought which is why we argued with you i mentioned this last time that we played though where it was like dude if i see the ability to get not one group or two groups under our belt to use them in this war then i'm going to do it that's all this has been about for like ever since we practically stepped out of the portal no that's cool i just thought you were taking the vampires over the clerics yeah i don't care about either one i just want soldiers that's it okay so the whole we're saying is the whole reason we argued is because we misunderstood you so i'm not saying that there's any blame for that on anyone i i'm not like but i'm just saying like wow i really wish we'd understood that because we could have dodged that argument but we didn't so well i don't i just don't get like why you guys didn't just hold on oh my god okay let's please never let's whatever never again well actually i feel i feel oh i don't know i felt a lot better like i just good i just thought it's that it came down to we just didn't understand that makes a lot well that's what i'm that's that's that's where i failed as a dm because i should have stepped in it's like okay let me get this straight that's why i did that several times in this episode to never have this misunderstanding or miscommunication again yeah yeah that makes sense because yeah because like the whole time i'm just thinking shit you know because there's been plenty of times where ironhide's kind of just been like i'm you don't agree with me fine fuck you we're going you know and so that's kind of what i thought the situation was this time too so i'm just curious i'm not starting to fist fight or anything like that i'm not going to fight what are you what other times were you talking about just say i mean just going back to like the original overdale situations and those kind of things like just the idea you know it was it was very much like i thought this was a cause and that you you know i thought that you were saying that you couldn't take the idea of an innocent what you consider to be an innocent man being killed so i thought it was you taking on a cause like you had in the past and i didn't agree with that cause but if you're just saying that you were you were hoping that they could get along if they couldn't and they had to kill him that's fine with me then i would have been down you know no i'm no i'm like like what i was saying about innocent man or something like that is like if he didn't do it fine like what let him go and he can fight for it that's why i wanted him to be innocent but at the exact same time it's like that's like a millionaire it's like i'll tell you if you let me let me speak my piece you know that i can give you a bunch of money it's like well that's pretty cool he can give us a talent that we just don't have like no one else can duplicate except for vampires no i get that like i said i just thought that you were gonna i thought there was going to be an incident if the town decided for a reason that you don't agree with to kill him no i mean we're grossly outnumbered so it's over so i mean even if i thought it's like this guy's totally innocent it's like uh no well stab like whatever i can't do anything about it we're just gonna go with this and we'll have these guys with us oh shit what no i just did it just now that i understand it's just like well shit i didn't that was a dumb deal to die on that you know because we were all we were all kind of in agreement with what we were going to do it it's just we had different reasons for it so yeah i always thought of it like no no we'll capture him bring him in they'll kill him it's like whoa see because all i heard was what you were saying in your interaction with him so because our characters never had a chance to interact outside like without him there yeah never knew that part you know what i'm saying so that you did like walk off while we were all speaking inside the well not only that but i go first off i had i kind of you know i was being urged to kill him at the time and and secondly like even if even if we had been in that room together at no time would we have had the opportunity for you to come to be like okay here's the deal i'm gonna take him into town but if they don't agree they can kill him well i'm like at the same time it's like hunting down party members like malchus or somebody like that and say like this was gonna happen right so yeah so it just sucks that we all yeah messed up we're speaking this out you know we're not i can't wait until the next sit down we don't have to deal with this ever again i'm never gonna go i can talk to justin no no no no no no no i'm i'm fine with i'm cool it's just i'm never putting a vampire in this game again no it's like i said i'm glad i you know i'm glad that we talked about i'm glad that now i understand i understand uh you know i understand i'm a little bit more like i just sounded like a cause you know i honestly was sitting here thinking that this last time like after we were done that session i was thinking it's like well maybe this entire quest is too big like it's too open-ended for you guys like you you you know what i mean like it's too like this big looming threat like it's too much for you guys and you're just breaking under the stress of it like maybe you i think what we need to do is i think what we need to do is uh is balance the karma here by just just put before us an enemy that is not morally ambiguous you know like just i i it's such a gray world i like that it's a great yeah but you guys are very like you come from it from a place of black and white a lot of times so i don't like oh yeah i mean oh man i don't know i'm laughing about it now i'm oh yeah yeah yeah but you know i mean that's the thing is that you made a gray world that does contain some black and white character oh yeah you know everything yeah and because and because of that because it's so complicated there's going to be times like this but honestly this was just a miscommunication thing this was yeah that's the funny part yeah and it's really more about the fact that i mean it was i don't know it really it really just comes down to our characters didn't talk things through yeah and like i said if if there was if if something was presented to me beforehand where it's like we talked these guys into turning themselves in then okay but that wasn't the like thing was we didn't talk these guys getting this on getting them on our side and to me that sounds like fuck the clerics let's get these guys you know what i mean and well the problem is like that your character ran off like pretty quickly so like but you have to but i mean i'm sitting there being screamed at to kill the thing in front of me at the same time i'm being asked to make a decision i'm trying to do the morally right thing by not killing a defenseless thing like i should as a cleric there's a lot of things going on with my character justin so i had to get out of there or else i was just gonna chop his head off at this point doesn't really matter so i know but i mean that that's there's if we run into situations like that again you have to realize that i'm gonna have to get out of there you know if the go ahead interesting it'd be interesting to see what listeners think because we were getting like this last episode like we were getting emails that just like one of them just started out unforgivable like like all caps like they're really invested and the fact that ironhide turned his back on the party and just let him fight on forgivable we can still be canonically really pissed at ironhide for not fighting with us that one's dance of course yeah that's gonna and that's gonna make things interesting no yeah it was all for a reason but at the same time it was against the group so i got you back dog well it's important that each of us be hated by someone in turn i liked i liked how this whole thing was set up that was like everybody that came out to greet ironhide and uh edward were people that just wanted to kill the vampire and it's like everybody else that was kind of like well i'm mixed or if jakonas was lucid he would have been with us yeah the only one who wasn't was was yin word well yeah with the whole fight going through the rubble yeah but i'm assuming jake that that's correct if draconis was i don't know never happened we'll never know i love it thank you jake funny jake's willing to attack children but it comes yeah i'm interested sorry i'm sorry at the same time though he's suffering right now so that kids come out of the woodwork and just start grabbing money and shit like screaming like enough and just like set fire to someone yeah but it is kind of interconis's character to attack children especially like uh we were i didn't even want to acknowledge him and then like everybody took off side i'm like god damn it he's mentioned a hundred times that he hates kids so i love at this point after all the time i've spent with your guy like after all the time malchus is spent with your guys's characters he's at the point where he believes that we're just like riding a ticking time bomb and if we can just ride this ticking time bomb of a party into the enemy base it'll explode there and not have any horrible collateral damage on innocent wonderful people i will say that i do think i i do think that even though there's a lot of friction in the group i do think that relationships within the group are becoming becoming more defined yeah yeah i'm definitely i'm definitely getting more of an angle on rottswell yeah and like for all to like these past few episodes i like thorals just like fuck it you know like and and yinward that whole like rubble thing and stuff at a lot and then him just kind of being like playing both sides where he doesn't know which side he lays on and then he got triconus is just kind of outside but we're taking care of them it's it's just neat to see the party like that was one of the things about 10 episodes ago that we were talking about which is that the relationships within the party weren't that defined and it seems like we've come a really long way since then yeah we had a lot of we had a lot of great interpersonal development here like it's it's very easy for dnd to become this thing where the players only role play with npc's and don't role play amongst themselves and i think we're really we're really digging into a lot of that and those relationships are around every minute of every game so those are really important i was worried that some of you wouldn't take the bait and role play and said fucking tom took off with it i was so that was so sad like that was just yeah it was not only that but it's like our characters despite their their fights within each other amongst each other and their disagreements all let him have that moment you know it's like no one was going to him and being like come on we need to go and you know that kind of stuff it was everyone was just like we understand he's not gonna he needs this let's let him have this we didn't pressure him to make a choice we didn't you know it was in the end ironhide did the same thing and it was real it was real neat that despite the fact that we were arguing with each other both sides were understanding what was going on with the n-word you know i was sitting here trying to think about things i could say to like draw out his feelings because i was like yeah it's great that you're looking at this in like mournful silence but i'm like come on yenward tell the group you're like you know get for the for even the for the listeners sake i just wanted i wanted to hear more about yenward's monologue and then by the time i thought of something it was like we're just going to fetch you and we're getting the party back together and i was like oh well yeah i guess okay sure that's what you guys want let's keep going the small bit of humor i found was i don't know if it was intentional or not but the sounds tom was making literally did sound like a sad bull yeah it did like just i thought it was just enough man i thought it was like you get that he's really sad about you i mean it's it's right there on the face of it why he'd be sad like i mean but yeah it was nice it didn't feel forced yeah i like i like the little tiny bits of history that we're getting to like we're getting out the we're starting to learn about where you inward came from we're starting to learn about what's going on with taconis like they know why i like grapes did you i'm i'm glad that we yeah that that stuff it's like well when you get to my backstory it all makes sense well it's been a year and a half we need to get going yeah yeah it's not waiting it's good to know that stuff now yeah it's it's i want to get some of that out there i want to get it going and and really define you guys as characters and stuff that's why i wanted to get like sit down with each one of you and it's like okay where does this character come from what is he doing what you know i've done the same thing with group two and i'd say group two even had a jump on you guys as far as backstories go they were in the future because they kind of did theirs from the start yeah they were more they were more explored early i just gotta say i was dying inside when he was telling when jake was talking about the blood root he's like yep and then you grind it up into a powder and snort it i'm like oh god damn it really that bit's just for you guys there's all the shit that we ever talked about dragonborn coke sure enough it's all comfort not canon the news candy um no man you guys great session good stuff yeah yeah