Welcome to Durnhollow

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Uh, alright. How about we do that thing where we go around the table and we introduce ourselves? I'm Jason, I'm the DM going around the table. Let's start with Rob. Hey, I'm Rob. I'm playing Malchus Grimness, Tiefling Warlock. And...Dan. My name is Dan Phelps. I play Rod Swelljoy, Batam Human Warpriest. Jake. I am Jake. I play Draconis, the Dragonborn Fire Mage.

Justin. Uh, my name's Justin. I play, uh, uh, uh, Jarek Ironhide. A war...something or other. What is he again? He's a war-forged sword mage. No, no, he's a war-forged, yeah, but he was like a, uh, uh... Sword mage. Sword mage. That thing I just said, yes. Just cut out all that awkward bits. Cut out that thing that makes you sound like you haven't been playing this character for a year and a half? Cut out all the bad bits. Gotcha. Uh, Tyler. Hi, I'm Tyler. I play Thrill Songsteal, a human scout. And Tom. Hey, I'm Tom and I play Yanward Fire, Stomp of Minotaur, Fighter.

Bam, bam. Uh, wow, it's been, it's been a little bit since you guys have sat down. Okay. We haven't played since last year. That's true. True that. Let's do this. Let's do a little recap. Last session you guys found out that Draconis has a crippling, uh, a crippling ailment that requires he have blood root. Now, he used to kind of get the hookup 17 years ago when you guys were doing your thing and you caught him one time. But, uh, at the time it didn't seem super important and he, he lied about it very well and well, That's how I remember it. Yeah, he lied about it very well.

It was eloquent and you guys cried and, um, for even doubting his, his, his honesty. So, um, you, you found out that he needs blood root, but all of his contacts have dried up in 17 years. He can't find anyone who has it. Questioning Artemis, uh, Malkus got some info, uh, a lead on where you guys can find blood root and that is in Dernhollow, which is just south of, uh, of Albury. So you guys took off, you got your horses, you, I'm not even going to go over the vampire thing, but you guys all took off and, uh, on the way you, uh, you were assaulted by children and Yenward got robbed.

Uh, you, you almost burned a few of them to death. Allegedly. The important part is that you didn't. You did not murder children. That is, um, We're the adults, who are they going to believe? Seriously. A few of them may have a first or second degree burn, but none of them are dead. Have you met parents these days? We're in deep trouble. I just didn't understand. Uh, no. Uh, so before we, before we roll into Dernhollow, um, would someone like to do a history check on, on the little town and, uh, see how much you know about it? Who's the best at history? Uh, I have, uh, 16.

Wow, really? Yep. I have a four. Fucker, I have 16. So clearly Yenward. Okay, I'll roll. No, not you. Ha! 36. Crip. Oh wow. Shit. Starting it off right. Alright. You're Draconis. Welcome to Dernhollow, the Alabama of Theria. Cool. Uh oh. Terrible. Now you need to apologize to all our Alabama listeners. Um, I, well wait, I didn't know, I didn't No, find a better state. I'm just, hold on, why did you automatically assume I meant that as a bad thing? I don't, you're the one who's being close-minded here, Rob. It just, I don't know, you sounded, alright, well just go, just go.

Okay, Dernhollow is What do you think, Rob? I think close-minded. Yeah, he, he's so racist too. Like, if you heard the things he said, I have to edit out every show. Oh my god. Stuff about being inward. Yeah, he's inward. Okay, seriously though. No offense to Alabama. A lot of offense to Alabama. You know what you did. Um, yeah, like, there'd be a lot of, like, just, okay. Dernhollow is a racist little burg. It's not, it's, it's not a, it's not a very forward-thinking town. Alabama. There has also been a slavering operating within Dernhollow now for many, many years called the Nuval.

They basically capture non-humans, and then force them to fight each other to the death to see who would be tougher, and then sell them off to places like Onakol and, and just the highest bidder, really. So they dogfight. Yes, they dogfight with non-humans. Alabama. I love the part where you told me, like, wait, wait, wait, wait, and then it was exactly what I thought. They're dogfighting bigots, they're not Alabama-in-straw. They're Georgians. I'm just, I, look, the only reason I said a place is to give you some sort of, um, a link to our world so you can go, "Okay, like, you can draw a comparison." It's too late, just keep moving.

It's too late. I live in New Jersey, you can, I'm sure Alabama is- It's not like they don't know Jason. Yeah, it's genius what he did. What he did is he made himself the bad guy rather than us. Because when he's explaining this, we'll be like, "That's Alabama." "Oh my god, I'm looking at this as if it's Alabama, I'm a terrible person." It's like, "No, Jason is!" [laughter] Um, so, you guys trot up. So, the other thing about Durn Hollow is that it is a poor little burg. This is not, um, this is more, it's almost more of a settlement than a town. Like, it's a town in that there's, you know, the inn, the bar, you know, there's a couple of shops, things like that, they have town guard.

But the place is essentially run by the nouveau. Like, it's very much- They're the money. They're the money. Like, they're the only thing bringing in a real, any real equity into the town. And the only problem is they also bring in all the awful, like, element that would drive out classy establishments. So, yeah. So there's just casinos everywhere. Not even casinos, it's like dog fighting pits, basically, is what it is. And you can bet to sit while they're- You're not gonna have a fancy hotel right next to one of these stores of dead bodies. There is a brothel.

There's a nice brothel. Like, that's something, you know, that's something that gets, you know, money. Who is, who's taking the lead here? Who's the first horse, like, riding into town? Like, you guys are, like, I'd like to know. How about a human? What? [Laughter] Um, I would say, considering the situation, maybe Thorold? Alright. He does look skeevy. Okay, so, riding- Riding into town. Is that a savory character? Riding into town, it's this very muddy looking, very, uh, very Ferelden, if you've ever played Dragon Age. Like, very, like the first one. It's very, like, just very dirt, mud, you know, just, just not a great place.

And there's a, what appears to be like a nine year old boy, kind of holding a spear, like, like standing guard over the, um, There's, it's not even really a front gate, it's just a road that leads straight into town, so he's just kind of standing right there, just on the outskirts. Like, he's just kind of, like, eyeballing you guys as you walk in. So, like, he's got his little helmet on, and he's, you know, it's, it's, it's like two sizes too big for his tiny head. Horrible. Yeah, so he's just kind of standing there, trying to look tough as a nine year old.

His parents are probably gambling. [Laughter] These people make child soldiers. It's their Kalashnikov kids. [Laughter] Um, the way, the way Rob said it, it's like, these people have child soldiers, and it's like, oh no, no, no, no, we've already, we've already done this once before, we tried to interfere in someone's... So we can hire them to fight Overwatch for us. [Laughter] That's an expansion, that's an expansion. Gotta collect them all. [Laughter] It's like Pokemon. I actually like dogfighting, so... So, as you guys are riding up into town, the little boy's, like, holding up his hand, just to try and, uh, to try and slow you down.

This looks official, guys, I think we should stop. I'm just gonna keep going. You're just gonna ride right past him? Fuck it. Yeah, this is non-stop. Keep your conus away from this kid, please. I was about to say, I'm right with you guys, I'm ignoring the kid. I will toss him one gold pence on my way by. So, okay. This kid doesn't reach for the money at all, like it hits his chest and, like, falls down. He's chopped a little kid with a piece of gold. [Laughter] You guys, you guys ride past this little kid, um, and he just starts hollering after you guys, "Hey!

Hey! Hey!" Just, like, real high voice, like squeaky, like, just him. Um, and you're moving way faster than he can, but he's gonna start, like, he's gonna start, like, taking off down the road after you. Like, he's gonna try and chase you down. Oh, wait, wait, wait, we're not even in town yet. You're riding into town, you're in town, basically, but yeah. Okay, okay, like, right at the wall or something. There's no wall, there's no nothing. Alright, well, right in the path, the dirt path. Yeah, it's a dirt, it's the dirt road that you guys are following, it just leads straight through this town.

It's just a dirt path that leads to a dirt village. This is a one road town. Mmm. Quite literally, this is a one... Also, it's like, um, uh, Tombstone. Yeah, yeah, something like Tombstone, think about Tombstone, and it's very, yeah, you're riding into this place and it's, it's kind of old Westy type of, uh, but in mud instead of dirt. Um, so, yeah, you're leaving this kid in the dust, like, it's gonna take him a little while to catch up to you, so you're riding into town and... So, looking around, who wants to do a perception roll? What's my perception?

I got a plus four, so... I got a six. Somebody else takes some reins. Mine's not strong. I have a plus ten. That's good. I think it's me, I have a plus ten. I'll script. Eighteen. Eighteen, okay. Um, so, on either side of the road here, you have, uh, there's, there's large pens, uh, where, uh, during their busier times, you can tell that, that, like, someone's being kept in cages. Um, there's, uh, like, scattered, there's also, set further back, like, off the road, there's these, um, uh, like, makeshift dirt rings. Like, they, they, like, it looks like someone would square off, kind of like old style Star Trek, like, like, two men with swords or, like, big stabs or something like that and they just beat the shit out of each other until one of them is dead.

Um, and, uh, you got, you got a couple of shops scattered throughout the place, um, and set all the way back is, uh, the one that you actually came to, to see, Kay's Choice, which is, uh, uh, she deals in, uh, like, herbs and, and kind of hard to get rare items, things like that. Um, you also have, uh, the largest building in town, which is a brothel, uh, which is, uh, it's called the Honest Harlot, uh, and... That's an oxymoron. (laughter) Um, uh, there's also, it, it's kind of conjoined with this bar called the Black Eye. (laughter) I'm gonna wrap it there.

(laughter) Uh, the, the, the people you see stumbling around town, um, a lot of them look jobless, maybe, uh, drunk, just, uh, not, uh... Do they spend their days looking for money to go gamble somewhere? Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah, it, it does not look, uh, these people do not look, uh, like, honest or reputable at all. Like, they look pretty scummy, so, um, where would you guys like to go? Um, well, Rod Swell would like to get in and get out as soon as possible. He's not thrilled with the surroundings, so, uh, I say we go, in my opinion, we should go straight to the store that we're trying to get to.

Yep, the herb store. And I say, and Malkus should probably take the lead in the store because he's the one who knows the secret code and whatnot, so... Okay. I'll hang out in the brothel. Do you want to go to the brothel? You would lay your seed somewhere else. I'll keep an eye on Thor. Okay, so, Thorl and Yenward are gonna go hit up the brothel while the rest of the party goes and, uh, they're gonna go... And have a pasture out back. I want to stand guard outside of the, uh, herbalist. Okay. Yeah. Actually, um, could, uh, Rod Swell stand outside with Ironhide and preach to the vagrants about...

Oh, that'll, yeah, let's do that. Re-vance! No, let's do that. I want to stand here. Try to convert them. Let's do that. Okay, so, we got a game plan. I guess it's going to be Draconis and Malkus going into Kay's choice. I gotta say, this is probably the first time we've actually split up the group. Like... No, we did it last time. We're gonna do like a stone's throw from each other, right? Yeah, you're all in town, like, you're, I mean, the, the, so, the, the way the town's set up, like, the brothel is gonna be across the street, like, it's a little, like, it's there.

Like, when we split up, it was in Aubrey, so it's not, like, a big deal. Like, this is a place that we don't know, and we know it's not very good. Well, I mean, okay, but like, me and Ironhide are outside the store. Like, you two are the only people that are, you know. Okay, okay. Bailing, so. So, okay. Uh, um, Yenward, Thoril, going to the brothel. They're gonna go to the Honest Harlot. Standing right outside of Kay's choice is gonna be Ironhide and Rod's fall, so let's have you guys just walk into Kay's choice and let's, uh, let's, let's, let's see where this goes.

Um, uh, standing behind the counter is, um, she, she looks to be a little older, uh, but you're guessing that would be the shop proprietor. Uh, and, and she kind of eyeballs you guys as you come in, as you're not her regular clientele or, or customers or anything. Um, and, uh, she's, "Afternoon, gentlemen, what, what can I get you?" Um, before I start talking, I look around to see if there's anyone else shopping around the store. Um, it is just you guys in there. Oh, beautiful, okay. Um, well, I saunter up and, um, uh, what's my, what's my code word or do we have anything?

Oh, yeah, let me- Canonized? So you are, you, he, uh, Hardemus gave you a paper to, uh, unfurl, right? Mm-hmm. Uh, and, uh, you unfurl it and- Oh, okay, oh, wow. Uh, for those of you listening at home, uh, I have just been linked an image that says, "I'm here for Bloodroot." Which is- Uh, which I would, I feel in hindsight, I would have looked at this paper beforehand and- You never said you did. That scared the shit out of me that it just, like, popped up on my computer. It's just like a, just all this is, "I'm here for Bloodroot." It's like, just popped up on my computer.

Apparently I have to communicate that I'm looking at this nonsense before I go into the store, uh, and before I am leaving Hardemus alone. But- You never said that you were looking at it. No, it's fine. I said that I handed it to you, you said, "Okay, I take it." You were having too much fun threatening him is the thing. Yeah, that's it, you were taking the dog too much. Well, someone's gonna die when I get back to town. So, um, I- Is this- I just stuffed that back in my pocket because that's clearly useless. Uh, real quick, the Hardemus, uh, he was talking about a woman.

Is this the woman he was talking about that he was, like, hooked up with before? Um, it would be. Okay. Okay. Um, and, well shoot, I mean, the whole place is empty, so I'll just walk up and say, uh, what, it's afternoon or something? Yeah, you guys have ridden into town, it's daytime, yeah. Okay. Um, good afternoon. Uh, I was told, uh, your store deals in, uh, both common and somewhat rare herbs. Yeah, well, what are you looking for particularly? We need to see if we can acquire some blood root. And she kinda narrows her eyes at you. You're not part of the town guard, are you?

You have to tell me legally if you are. No, ma'am, I, uh, I was recommended by one, uh, Hardemus to come to your shop. The expression changes on her face instantly, like, not even trying to be welcoming anymore. So you hooked up with that fucking scumbag, are you? Oh, so you've met him. You've met him, I see. Uh, yes. Uh, that's the one. Uh, and I wouldn't, uh, I wouldn't go as far as saying hooked up with, but rather threatened critical information out of. I'm not his friend, mind you, ma'am. I just, we have, we have a need. Roll a diplomacy check. Uh, that's a plus ten.

Why is, where's my dice rolling? Why is that not, no, hold on, I see it. Oh, okay, I see what happened. Yeah, so that's a fifteen. Yep. Um, it, it, nope, see, there you go. Yeah, I did it. Um, she, she kinda simmers down a little bit, but she's still kind of angry that you are even affiliated with him. Like, clearly whatever they had ended badly. Excuse me. Um, and, and she's gonna, she, how much- Isn't he just the crookedest little bastard? He's more than that, he stole from my daughter. Oh, what did he, what did he do now? Look, I don't wanna get, hey, if fucker stole her, her little gold watch, it's the only thing she ever had of value.

She's, this woman, by the way, is missing some teeth. Oh, nice. Uh, just, just, it doesn't look like she's run a brush through her hair in a while, kind of, um, she's not that old, it's just she takes such ill care of herself that- It looks like she's fucking old. Yeah, look, she looks crazy and homeless a little bit. Sounds pretty hot, to be honest with you, I'm just gonna say that right now. Um, yeah, the teeth she does have are, um, multicolored, like it's, it's kind of a- Ah! It's a lovely rainbow of, of browns and yellows and some black. Um, exactly how much are you looking for?

Uh, well, I suppose I should turn that question to the expert, uh, because Draconis came in with me, right? Yeah, I'm there. Yeah. I'm just browsing around looking, right beside you, looking at some of the other stuff that's going on. I just look over and I say, we need as much as you got, we're talking pounds. Uh, you understand that's a very costly route. That's fine. We need pounds. Is it also, uh, is it also contraband? Is it also illegal? It's highly illegal and I can get into a lot of trouble if you go yapping about it to everyone you pass by. So I'm, I'm holding you at your word that you're going to keep this between us.

Oh, we're going to, we're going to take it with us and take it as far away from here as possible. There will be no connection to you. Let us, let us get it off your hands and then you don't have contraband in your store. That sounds vaguely like a threat. What? I, um... You wouldn't, that, that, that, that sounds like you, you, you'd threaten to tell the town guard if I had it, if we can't come to some sort of deal. No, I would, I would, what's the price? I'm pretty sure we'll be able to afford whatever you're asking. Give me a moment. And she kind of, um, she, she ducks below the counter and you can hear something click, like it's a portion of the counter that is false, something like that.

And she slides, you can hear sliding like a shelf to the side. And, uh, she pulls like, uh, this, this, uh, this wadded up piece of leather and, and, and starts to unfurl it on the counter. Uh, and, uh, it appears to be several ounces of blood root. Like it's, it's, it would be enough to keep Draconis going for at least weeks. Like it's enough to keep them going for a while. I want to look at it and say, is this all you have? I could get another shipment in a few weeks or so, but again, it takes time. I have to be careful about it. I can't have the captain finding out.

All right. How much? How much you got? How much do you want for that? Do you really want to make us go and do research publicly on what blood root goes for in a black market? Um, make an intimidation check. What's your intimidate? Uh, it's high. 20. Okay. All right. All right. All right. There's no need to be like that. It's just, just a business woman trying to make her way in a harsh world. Well, then you should probably do business in a fair manner that keeps us coming back to continue being your client. This can be very profitable for you long term. Hmm. You make an excellent point.

See, I am a reasonable man. This much is going to cost at least a thousand. Malchus looks over at Draconis and, and, you know, kind of gives him the shrug. Like, you know, what do you think of that price for that amount? I'm looking to see how much I have real quick. Okay. I have 2,600. Does that, cause you've been buying it before in the game. Like how much have you paid previously? Is this steep? Is this? This, it's one of those things where it very much depends on who your hookup is and how long you've known them, that kind of thing. Because you're going to get gouged.

Like it's just, it is because it's a, because it's an illegal substance, you're going to get gouged. And that's, that's a pretty high price to pay for just herbs. But I mean, Yeah, I'm going to look at her and I'm going to tell her, look, we have 500. That's all we got. You know, it costs me money to import this, right? I can't just, it's not something I could just bring in all willy nilly. I, it's something that it takes time and effort and, and, and I have to bring it in secret. Insight check. 20. That is true. That's, that's, that's a pretty true statement.

That's, that's not something she's lying about. Now that doesn't mean that she's not marking it up a little bit, but yeah. All right. If he only has 500 and I have 500. No, that's all I'm willing to pay. Can you fix this price into the future? In other words, if I come back here weeks from now, multiple times in the coming months, can you promise that price to, price to pound ratio? Yeah. If you're, if you're going to actually be a return customer, sure. I, I, I don't see where that would be a problem. I take care of my, my, my, my good customers, the ones that come back, I take good care of them.

And not a coin higher then? Not at all. And this whole time, my eyes are just locked on, on the herbs and I would just want to say, I just want to tell her next time we need more. Okay. I don't care what you got to do. We need more. You take the RV out into the desert with your little friend and cook it up. Jesse, it's time to cook. I'll see what I can do. Kaylee Winiford. And she, she holds her hand out, which appears to be kind of cruddy. Malchus will shake it without flinching. Okay. He can always wash later. I would hide this from plain sight. I mean, that's pretty obvious, but I mean, you know, I, I, I feel as though I have to warn new customers.

Well, this is not our first time dealing in illicit substances. Believe me, we'll be fine. All right. So how much are we giving her? I'll give her 500 of mine. You give her 500 years and we'll, we'll call it a day. I mean, as... My call is that we need you functioning to fight well. And that's, you know, we don't want to reveal that to her, but that's worth a fair amount to us. All right. I want to ask her, do you have a bathroom? Oh, I, I, I can't, I can't have you doing that here. I will say that if you go across the street to the inn, you can get all the privacy you need.

All right. You tell them I sent you and they'll give you a discount. All right. Let's finish this and get out of here. Let's go outside the shop real quick. So we got, we got town drunks kind of stumbling around and, and you got, so you got Rod Swell in his, in his, what is Rod Swell where exactly? Nothing. Um, Rod Swell, he, well, he's wearing chain mail. Right. But I mean, like... Yeah, I always picked him with a cape. Okay. Like a, like a grayish bluish kind of cape. Um, kind of like, I don't know, pants wise, I never really thought about it. Possibly. Is he wearing like a robe?

I always pictured him in like wizard robes. When I say the cape, I mean more like a robe. Like, like, uh, picture like what Red Robin Hood wears. You know what I'm saying? Like, not Red Robin Hood, Little Red Riding Hood wears. Oh, I'm hungry. Except not red, you know? So like, what's that called? A cloak? Is it a cloak? Yeah, a cloak. Sure. Okay. Then yeah, with the hood up, he has the hood going. Okay. He wears a poncho. And, uh, goes down to like his knees right around that area there. That's how I pictured Rod Swell. Yeah. Not all the way, not all the way down.

Well, I always pictured him kind of longer hair to like shoulder length, grayish hair. I just pictured him like Gandalf, just not as old. Okay, so Gandalf. Just picture Gandalf without the hat. Just picture Gandalf, just Ian McKellen just hanging out. Okay. So, um, that's you and Ironhide standing outside, and you got town drunk stumbling by and people kind of looking at you and, um, what, so you said you wanted to preach to these guys while they're, while they're kind of stumbling around and everything. What would you like to say to them? Um, okay, so I always mess up on the enunciation of my deities.

Is it a monitor? A monitor, yeah. A monitor, yes. So I'm not too pushy about it. I would approach... So you're not like, you're not like knocking on the door on a Sunday morning? No, I'm not standing on a soapbox bashing the Bible or anything like that. Okay. I'll see one, I'll see one down on his luck, you know, possibly rested up against a shop, drunk. And I'll go up to him, I'll be like, are you happy with your life, sir? You know? Damn. That was judgmental. God damn fucking guiltless. And if he says, if he says yes, then I throw him a gold piece and I, I move on.

I'm not, like I said, I'm not, all I'm trying to do is I don't, I don't necessarily feel the most comfortable with getting blood root for somebody. You happy with your life? Okay, so you're, okay, so you're, you're, you're in a bad part of town, in a bad town, scoring coke for a friend of yours and you're just... You're just making a rant on homeless people. Hey, hey, in his defense, it's the perfect cover. Right. He's making friends. Right, right. So he's just, you're going to save some lives is what you're, what you're, what you're aiming to do. Exactly.

Okay. No, I'm saving some gold. Okay? I'm somehow seeing this turn out like fucking Arrested Development with Tobias and the gangsters. So a lot of these guys who just kind of look at you like bleary eyed, like the ones who do stop are just like they're, they're, they're just like clearly off balance, off kilter, like they're, they're, you know, the ones who don't appear drunk just appear to be angry. Like just, just, just... They're not drunk. Maybe they don't have the money to get drunk. That makes me angry. There is one guy who is not drunk, clearly, and a real clean shaven guy, like appears to have his life together.

He of, especially, he stands out in this, in this, in this, in this particular town. Like he's obviously there for drugs too. And he's walking right up to Rodswell and he's gonna, he's gonna hold out his hand. "Hi, I see you're a visitor." "Why, yes, sir. Not very familiar with these parts." And I reach out and shake his hand. "Captain Ellis Arroway, happy to have you here in town." "Rodswell North, human war priest, adventurer." "So this guy, you know, he's shaking your hands and he's shaking, well, he offers his to, to Ironhide as well. Does, does your bot shake hands?" "I don't control him, trust me." "I don't know how to take that, you asshole." "Does your robot shake hands?" "Robot?" "Does your dog bite?" "And he's telling very, very firmly, I'll just tell him firmly that like, I don't belong to him." "Oh, he, he speaks too.

Oh, okay. All right. I, I'm sorry. I, who's a good boy?" "I just assumed he was under your control." "No, I don't control him. He has a mind of his own. He's a warforged. He's a, he's a, he's a, don't name him, trust me." "You don't mind if I ask why you gentlemen are in our fine little town, do you?" "Scoring heroin, sir." "A few of our party members are a little worse for the wear, so we decided to stop in and see if we could, uh, load up on supplies, get a bite to eat, rest up a bit." "And I thought while I was here, I'd, uh, meet some of the local town folk." "Well, you've met me.

I'm the captain of the guard here. I'm in control of everything at all times, so if any of you need anything, please don't hesitate to give me a holler." "That being said, if you're feeling a little run down, I insist that you stay across the street at the Honest Harlot. It's a fantastic little inn, and I'm sure you'll find everything you need there." "I believe a couple of our members are already there. It's not really my scene, but if I need a bed, then I'll know where to go." "Okay." "I'll be around town if you need anything." "I'll get Ironhide, like, anything?

Anything? You want to say anything?" "I will say, how can I put this, a few of our townsfolk have an aversion to non-humans. I don't think it'll be a problem, but just maybe watch where you walk at night." "Is that a threat?" "No, no, no, not at all. I wouldn't dream of threatening you. Money's money, in my opinion, and anything that'll stimulate the economy here in Durn Hollow is just fine by me. But, again, I wouldn't go picking a fight." "That's not what we're here for, so..." "Alright. I'll be around town if you need me. Thank you." "Thank you." "And he just kind of traipsed back down the one road in Durn Hollow and he kind of ducks into a... looks to be like a little eatery type of place." "Donut shop, sorry." "It's an eatery, so..." "Donuts are just ham and antheria.

They have two holes in antheria." "Fantasy!" "I can't even conceptualize a donut like that." "It looks like an eclair, but with two holes." "Oh, now I can. Okay, that sounds good." "It's like an eight." "Yeah, it's an eight. They're called infinity rolls. They're delicious." "There's a Mobius strip joke in there somewhere and I can't put it together." "There is. So, you guys are done in the shop. You've kind of reconvened." "Yep." "How about we zip across the street to the Honest Harlot?" "Yeah." "Oh, something's bad. Something's going on at the Harlot.

We've had two people push us over there so far. I don't like this." "Um, who's... Okay, so it's Thoril who's walking in, who's human, and that's cool. And then you've got big lumbering Yinward right behind him?" "Yeah, I'm just like a kid, and that's less cool." "I can do a strip club." "Just want to look." "I'm more of an utter man if I'm going to be honest with you." "God damn it." "Alright." "How long have you been holding on to that one?" "Good for weeks." "Um, so the second Thoril walks in, these ladies are on him." "Ow." "Straping guy, you know, like clearly an adventurer, clearly he's got a little bank.

Like he's got gear, so they're on him." "Make it rain." "It's all metal currency, you'd have to make it hail." "He'd leave dents and skin." "Pink, pink, ahh!" "And this short haired redhead kind of saunters up next to Thoril, and she just wraps her arms around Thoril's arm, and just says, 'Hey!' "Go ahead, sorry." "I was just going to be like, 'Well hello.'" "I'm Eva, what's your name?" "My name is Thoril." "And she's running her hand up and down your arm." "Wow, you must work out." "I get out from time to time." "And then we got Yenward directly, like, towering over Thoril." "Um, I don't do cowmen, but there are a few girls in the building who I'm sure would, I mean if that, I mean..." "I'd like to give her like a really stank face, like, girl please." "Don't do cowmen!" "Yenward's like, 'That's okay, I don't do pink skins.'" "Girl, you couldn't handle a cowman." "Oh my god." "Little white girl like you, please." "So, um, Eva's gonna tell Thoril, 'How about we go get a room?'" "No problem, uh, just, you know, make sure not to neglect my large friend there." "So, I mean, Eva's gonna like, like snap her fingers and two other women are gonna sidle right up next to Yenward." "And they're just gonna start like, petting him." "Like thump." "So, Eva and Thoril are gonna go find a room somewhere." "Are we gonna roleplay this out?" "No, no, no." "We're gonna have a part two here." "It's a brothel, like we can pretty much infer what's going on while this is happening." "Let's find his sweet talk." "Yeah, Thoril doesn't love her, he doesn't have to try." "We already did the sweet talk." "Yeah, that was, um, barring some negotiation of prices, I don't think that there's much else to be said." "Um, how is Yenward reacting to like these two strange women who just wandered up to him and just start like, like petting him?" "They can only basically reach up to like his shoulders and stuff, like it's..." "It's cool, but I'm totally not paying them." [Laughter] "So, okay, you are letting them..." "I'll let them pet me all they want, but if they ask for money when I try to leave, no." "Okay, like..." "I don't understand this, like alright." "Like one of them's gonna like whisper to you, it's like, 'You wanna go get a room, sweetie?'" "I know, I'm okay, I'm comfortable right here, thanks." [Laughter] "She's just fucking oblivious." [Laughter] "Kind of thirsty if you got anything to drink, though." "Oh, yeah, we can fix your cottonmouth, baby." "And they're gonna go..." "I need a drink." [Laughter] "So, one of them's gonna wander off and go get you like a big mug of ale." "The other one's... do you at least want to go sit down somewhere private?" "Sure." "She's gonna lead you to like a couch, like in the corner of this dimly lit place." "So, okay, let's zip to..." "Please tell me the couch is leather." [Laughter] "That's a real turn off right there." "Sit on your brethren's skin, and we'll just..." "Can you lay out a towel?" [Laughter] "Can you lay out a towel?" "I'm sure this place goes through towels pretty..." "I don't think they do, I just think they're gross." "Well, they may be." "Maybe gross." "We're safe." "Let's catch up with the rest of the party here." "You guys have reconvened outside of Kay's choice." "What would you guys like to do here?" "I'll talk to Rodswell." "How'd it go? Anyone receptive to the good word?" "Good word?" "No, but I did meet the captain of the town guard." "Oh, what did he have to say?" "He just said don't fight anybody. Normal stuff.

Usual." "He thought I owned Ironhide, but other than that, nothing interesting." "Such a pleasure to be around such forward thinking people." "I'd like to get out of here as soon as possible. How'd it go in the store?" "Our business is concluded. We'll be fine for a few weeks." "How much did it cost you?" "Enough." "Too much. Fucking rip off." "The important part is, Draconis will be feeling better for the next couple weeks." "And we may have a regular supply." "Do you guys have any money left?" "Because I feel bad that I sent you guys in to spend the money." "You've certainly given enough to the party.

Don't think anything of it." "Alright, so... Catch up with Thoril I suppose?" "Where'd they even go?" "Yeah, I suggest we get a hold of the others and vacate as soon as possible." "Certainly don't want to be doing business around here too long considering what we are carrying." "So we head over to the Honest Harlot." "Before you get to the Honest Harlot..." "It's been a misnomer." "The small boy that you guys left at the front of town..." "Little Vernon?" "Scum..." "What?" "Little Vernon. That's what I named him." "Oh, okay." "He comes streaking up to you guys." "Hey!

I told you to stop!" "Alright, I'm sorry. Are you a member of the Guard?" "And he's..." "You're darned." "Wall of fire." "I'm not talking to you, red skin!" "I'm talking to the human." "Injun." "Alright, that's it. Okay, I'm just gonna look down at him." "I'm just gonna shake my head and say 'I ain't got time for this shit.'" "And I'm gonna walk right past him towards the inn." "This little kid is going to bend down and pick up a rock." "Okay." "Alright, let him finish." "Let's see where this goes." "Let me roll an attack." "This is just a rock." "It kills you instantly." "23 versus your AC." "Oh god." "I got 19 that hits." "Okay, so this is just..." "So this is like a 1d4.

Like, this is a rock. Like, he just picked up a rock and..." "4 days." "He takes the maximum damage." "So it's a sharp rock and he's gonna whip this at the back of your head and it's just gonna..." "Thunk." "Like, it's gonna hit you in the back of the head." "And it's gonna cut him open." "And wait." "He's bleeding too!" "Your blood is bleeding." "Your gun is just bleeding." "Oh no!" "I just got... I am bladed by a fucking rock." "Malchus looks at Rodswell and says 'Skold him.'" "Skold who? The kid?" "Yes. He will listen to you." "Oh, okay." "Tertullius is gonna stop for a second with his back." "He's just gonna stop and he's gonna slowly turn around." "Why believe?" "Um, I don't know if there's like abilities for this." "I don't know what I got.

If I don't have to roll anything, but uh..." "I wanna hold out my right hand and I'm gonna conjure up a fireball." "Okay." "Right above my right hand and I'm gonna look at him." "I'm gonna say in a very low voice, 'Throw one more fucking rock at me.'" "Um, that is intimidating." "Yeah." "That's clearly intimidating." "That's negotiation." "Vern ain't scared of you?" "Um, twelve." "Yep." "You're gonna give a shit." "Little Vernon ain't scared of some lizard guy." "Like, he's not." "He's... he was taught from birth." "It's like, you ain't real." "So I assume this next roll is a initiative roll?" "Well hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on." "When I kill kids you fucking hack." "Wait, so I..." "Hold on, the kids gonna, so you tell them 'Throw one more rock.'" "The kid's like, 'I'm not fucking scared of you.'" "Like he's just, like he's really, like a mouthy little shit." "Like this mouthy little nine year old, like, he's..." "Okay, so if I wanted to step in here and talk some sense into Draconis, would I have to roll anything?" "Why the fuck do you need to talk sense to him? He's the one getting hit." "No, because I can tell Draconis to be like, 'Back off, we already said we weren't gonna cause any trouble.'" "You know what I'm saying, like I..." "Well I mean, you could just do that, like that's up to Jake if he wants to listen, that's kind of..." "Yeah, I'm not, like, we'll deal with the kid, I can deal with the kid." "You need to go take your stuff, you go take care of your thing." "We need to get out of here as fast as possible." "I'm not even gonna, I'm not even gonna look towards Rodswell's direction." "And I'm not gonna say a word." "So the fireball's still conjured?" "Yeah, oh, of course." "He's getting bigger." "I don't want to come off like I think Draconis is out of line, I get why he's doing it, but we need, you know, cooler heads need to prevail here, so..." "Can I grab this kid?" "Sure." "I want to grab him by the scruff of his neck." "He's not gonna like that." "Eh, that's great." "Okay, make an athletics check." "The kid's screaming, he's..." "Samurai kicks you in the face and kills you instantly." "Acrobatics?" "Athletics." "He's got a meal I'm gonna watch out." "I'm not jumping at him." "Alright, that's 13." "Okay, you're reaching to grab this kid and the kid just like scurries down and ducks like..." "Goddamn, he's a ninja!" "You're being outclassed, kids!" "At this point I turn to Malchus and I say, 'You want to head into the inn now?'" "Malchus goes over beside Draconis and kind of puts a hand on Draconis' arm and starts, not aggressively, but to kind of just softly be like, 'Come on,' and just like gently start pulling him toward the door." "I'm gonna shrug his arm off." "Okay, wow, okay." "I want you to go for admission." "Draconis is the guy." "This is getting awful." "So I've left, I'm going to enter the inn now, I'm not dealing with this." "Okay, so you're just leaving this, okay." "I tried to talk sense into them, I can't, I'm..." "This is, I don't understand, like this is the environment of this thing and you're just allowing this to happen, like, this is a kid who wasn't raised properly and now he's throwing shit at somebody who he doesn't know." "Yeah, but you're talking about rolling an initiative against him." "I'm joking, you didn't know that?" "I don't know what is joking anymore." "That's an ignition, by the way." "I'm joking." "So the captain of the cart is going to see, he's going to see this start to transpire down the street." "Run!" "Real cops, cheese it." "And he's looking at Draconis like conjuring this fireball in the middle of town, like he's going to incinerate this child in the middle of town." "And he's carrying bloodroot, I want to point that out." "Yeah, he's carrying drugs." "Those goofballs the kids are on now and then." "They don't know that, come on now." "But he will!" "He's not going to know shit." "Hold on, hold on, so he's going to, he's sprinting towards this madness and he's like, 'Ho ho ho ho ho!" "Hup hup hup hup hup hup." "What seems to be the problem here?" "This little kid hit me with a fucking rock, that's the problem." "He's going to look at this, Jeremy, is that true, did you hit this gentleman with a rock?" "Jeremy." "Yeah?" "They rode right past me, they didn't even stop!" "Okay, okay, and he's kind of grabbing the kid by the shoulders and like, 'Get back to your post, get back to your post, I'll take care of this.'" "I'm, I'm sorry about that, that was, um, those are some of the people I was talking about." "Not everyone is as open minded as I am." "Um, I, I'm truly sorry, is there any way I can make restitution?" "A thousand gold." "No." "Damn." "Alright, I'm going to slow the fireballs slowly going to do it a little way." "Could I at least compensate you gentlemen with free rooms for the evening?" "Uh, actually we think we are feeling less than welcome, we'll be making our way out of town shortly." "I'm truly sorry to hear that, but I understand. I'll leave you gentlemen to your work." "And he's going to, unless anyone has anything to say to him, he's just going to kind of break away and get back to what he was doing." "Okay." "That's fine." "So, heading into the brothel, um, the, the bottom floor is very much set up like a, like a, like a bar, like a big bar/VIP lounge type of thing, like this is, this is pretty much where everyone congregates in town." "This is, this is a packed establishment for the most part." "Um, I'm guessing that Draconis is looking for a room." "Yes, bathroom, looking for the bathroom." "Okay, okay, this is not an 80's nightclub, you can't just, this is, you can't just-" "You got a spoon?

You got a bathroom, you got a spoon?" "Or can I?" "Hey, I want to point out, I want to point out too, we might want to rest up, because he is bloodied." "I kind of want to do it off of Stripper's ass, so I'm just going to say it right now." "That's how Dragonborn usually do this?" "Yeah, it's a tradition." "It's a traditional ceremony." "That's the third part of the spell." "You'd eat glitter, that's what I mean." "Oh my word." "Glitter and a lady named Mystique." "Cocoa butter?" "Oh my god." "Alright, stop." "Um, uh, yeah, so, this is not a thing, this is going to take a little bit of time, like this is like a mortar pestle type of thing, you got to grind this up, this takes a little bit of time." "You got to cook it baby." "You got to let this simmer baby. Okay, so you're just going to walk up to the bartender type of person and just ask, you're looking for a room." "Yeah, okay, so these are like bedrooms, what kind of rooms are these, are these just fuck rooms?" "It's managers on the floor." "That's crude Jake, come on." "Do you pay in fifteen minute increments?" "They have rooms for the night, like this is an inn too, but I mean it's very obviously like, it's a brothel on top of that, so I mean like their turn down service is a little different than most standard hotels." "Okay, so I want to walk up to the bar up here, I want to look around the room and I actually spot Yennward over on a couch with a couple ladies and do a little tittle-tittle for a second." "Just this big cheesy wave for Yennward." "Yeah, I just kind of like nod my head and look back at the lady and ask, yeah I need a room for a couple minutes." "Really, wow, usually our patrons aren't so upfront about how long they're going to be here, but sure sweetie, couple of minutes we can, did you pick out a girl yet?" "No." "I'm going to be in this room by myself, so I don't need any company tonight." "Oh, it's like that, okay sure, you just need some privacy, yeah fifteen gold." "What the?" "Okay, I'm going to reach for a pie, grab out fifteen gold and I'm going to drop it on the desk." "And she scoops it up and hands you a key." "Alrighty." "It's second floor all the way down." "Alright." "Try not to make a mess, okay, we have people cleaning up, but it's, you know." "You got it." "I said also somebody needs to stand guard." "Jesus Christ." "That's great." "This may be our grossest episode guys, congratulations." "We have dense comforts, but just so you know, be clean." "Let's not, you know, let's not treat a bathroom like Tom does in St. Louis, okay?" "Let's not just wreck it, okay?" "It's wreck it Ralph, what are you going to do in that bathroom Ralph, gonna wreck it." "It's poor cleaning ladies." "It wasn't that bad, it was mostly just water because I would like step out of a bathtub without a towel." "It was not mostly water." "So just a little bile too, but mostly water." "It's just pink Pepto Bismol stains everywhere." "Yeah, it goes all over the toilet." "I think based on what we were just talking about in the episode, people instantly got an image like Tom just jerked off everywhere in the bathroom, it was crazy." "I did that in the room in front of everyone." "Well, there too." "We have pictures, we need to post those." "Going up in the store, stay tuned." "You're numbered in autograph." "Okay, stop, I was about to get a little bit of a mature rating." "So Draconis is taking off towards this room, is anyone following him or are they just interacting?" "So let me tell you, when you guys walk in, actually you know what, Malkus give me a perception check." "Malkus, my word, that's not good at this." "7!" "Yeah, that's definitely a brothel." "Okay." "It's a donut shop." "It's a call back, this is the police." "Malkus notices several nice women, all kind of hanging out in this place." "And scattered about this place there are also a bunch of large burly men." "What men?" "What kind of men?" "Just big burly guys." "Oh, burly, okay, I thought you said Burton, I didn't know what that was." "Burton, I just made up a term." "So these guys are just kind of, you don't need a high perception to see that they're giving you the stink eye." "Uh oh." "Did Rodsville come in with us?" "Yes." "Malkus looks at Rodsville and says, 'I'll wait outside.' And waits outside." "And he's successful." "And he does, he roll a check to see if he waits outside, and he does." "Um, is Thoril wrapping up anytime soon, or is he just kind of indisposed for a while?" "Is he reserved to spend the night?" "He's a snoozer." "Is he?

Okay." "Thoril's all like, 'I want one for every letter of the alphabet.'" "Roll an endurance check, Thoril." "Oh wow." "Oh jeez, I hope this doesn't come back sad." "Oh man, this is gonna tell a lot right here." "I got a plus nine, so we'll see." "Oh, that's fun!" "Wow, okay, Thoril is a stud. Like, that is canon." "It has been seventeen years for Thoril, so it's, um, yes." "Um, so okay, that's happening." "Yenward is in the corner here, right?" "Yep." "And there's gonna be this long-haired guy who walks up to Yenward." "And he kind of makes this head motion, and both of the ladies jump off of the couch and skitter away from, like they just kind of scamper off, away from Thoril." "Oh, nice meeting you ladies." "Yenward." "Is this in view of Rod's as well?" "This, yeah, this would be, um, you can see this happening." "And this guy is going to say, 'You mind telling me what the fuck you're doing in here?'" "Well, I was sitting down making some new friends, but you ran them off, I guess." "You know, I come in here every day, and you and your freak-ass friends are gonna scare off the clientele." "Okay, uh, Rod's wall approaches, by the way. He didn't say anything, he's just in the area so he can hear what's going on." "So you're, you're, you're just, okay, so, you're human, so you're okay?" "Right." "But since you're hanging out with these guys, that's definitely a strike against you." "You know, you keep a real shitty class of company, and he's looking at Rod's wall." "Okay, can I write a diplomacy check?" "Sure." "Does he mean me?" "Oh, I got a 10, so, uh..." "So you say, 'Hey!' He goes, 'Oh, come on, man, be cool.'" "Be cool!" "Don't you fucking tell me to be cool!" "Like, he's starting to get, like, riled up, like, clearly that you're trying to come." "Can I stand up from the couch now?" "Yes, absolutely." "And size." [Laughter] "So, this, this dude for human is, is fairly, he's like 6'2", 6'3", like, he's, he's, he's a pretty decent size, big burly dude." "Yenward, on the other hand, is rounding the bases towards 8 feet, so, you, like, this place has got these, um, real high, like, the, the first floor of this place is pretty impressive, like, a high ceiling, like, there's, like, exposed rafters and stuff, almost like a big barn." "Right." converted one so this guy's gonna kind of like like just like um yan we're rolling inside check inside check okay oh shit I was like on the wrong page there he's so he's continuing to speak but you you that's a 19 you notice like the slightest crack in his voice like it's like oh like you're you're you're a big dude like that's that's that's intimidating look I think you guys should just beat it the fuck out of town you know I I don't I don't like you in here I don't want you in here so you should just go you own the place and and he's the no no I don't own the fucking place all right then you get the fuck to step in cuz I'm staying that's an intimidation that's an intimidation check you guys really want to set this on fire don't you it's no you're not in the group ones in town burn it to the ground that's a crit he did crit 2028 just himself and dies this guy's gonna shit his pants so this guy is but that like he did not expect that out of you like he figured like you're you kind of look like this rube who wandered into town and it's like okay I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna brush this guy I'm gonna bristle this guy and he's gonna fucking he's gonna wilt like a flower and get out of here and you just like a roof like you you'd fucking totally just bark at this guy and he falls back and kind of walks across the room like he doesn't say another word he just walks away you can tell he is clearly like he is clearly the both shocked and scared like he just you know what um floral okay actually let's check in with your Jonas I'd like to take my seat back on the couch now snap for my ladies to come back draconis make an arcana check for me please they didn't come back all right they do I can do that right here 24 24 so you know you know exactly what to do to grind some of this up and you you want the others are the other components of this are pretty damn basic so you you are working on that right now so I am in the room now you're you're in the room you're you're doing your thing like you like you got your spoon and lighter you're ready to go all right you something real quick sure can I do I think it's a perception check on the room if I want to find out more things about it yeah I want to know if there's any holes in the wall that like maybe they would sell seats to like wherever holes on the wall at a brothel I don't want somebody to see him like he's snorting that stuff so you're okay you're upstairs outside the room or inside the inside you went inside the room with yeah why not yeah so you're watching him well I'm watching him prepare it's like alright whatever like just I'm gonna stand outside while he's doing the deed this is insight right perception that would be perception yeah got 22 Oh almost great you don't you don't see any like holes in this particular like you don't you don't find any holes in the wall or anything like that no no peep holes no no nothing like that and with you standing against the door you're pretty sure no one's gonna barge in and and and see anything um question yes if they did catch them I don't think these people are the kind of people that would like worry about people doing illicit drugs and they're very very true like this is not it's not like you're in Winterhaven doing this I just don't get chased out of town like the sheriff like everybody comes down on us for a reason now I'm just I injured I was probably could have done it on the sidewalk I was thinking about it yeah I mean this is like a better safe than sorry type of thing but yeah this totally isn't like exactly the the yeah like it's I get what you're saying malkus is outside correct yep okay riding into town is is this kind of frail frail figure and it that would be Brianna holy moly this is bad guys are honest I signal to her she zeroes in on malkus like you stand out in this town you're a tiefling standing in during hollow like in the middle of it like it's yeah like you stand out and and she's gonna ride right up and and kind of jump off the horse so you guys just take off and don't say anything now right is that your thing malkus cocks her head at her and just kind of froze his brow I mean you guys just took off you didn't you didn't say where you were going I do you know how long it took me to find out where you went and then to go to Aubrey and then talk to this rambling girl and then she told me where it you're the shithole why why are you here nobody likes out duty calls we had we had business and it's part of our continuing journey to recruit people against against overwatch I'm sorry it it's been a long couple of days I this this had a bad experience here this is um you know they don't like non-humans right I mean they're kind of clear about it mm-hmm I I have gathered yes are you guys okay I mean so far though some of us are doing everything in our power to disrupt society you guys aren't picking a fight here are you I'm not picking any fights but enough about that what's what's the matter how why did you come racing for us what's what's going on Oh Brittana wanted to wanted me to give you something and and she holds out this um it's it's an amulet take it yeah I have one just like it and and they're linked all you have to do is is clasp it and it'll send a signal to the other one it'll let you know if there's any trouble near Winterhaven and you can do the same with us and we can find each other malkus malkus looks down at it in his hand and he just a very a very genuine smile comes on his face and he says thank you this is it's not just helpful it means a lot and she kind of reaches out and puts her hand on your shoulder it's it's fine just next time let me know where you're going so I don't have to come to places like this malkus nods and says of course I'm I'm sorry we worried you so you guys are in town putting together the army I guess what how has that been so far how have you made out we have clerics from Aubrey we have minotaurs we have goodness the list goes on someone's the elves I know about correct yes yes so someone's been keeping better track of it than I have and then we needed we needed some medicine so that Draconis could be at his strongest so that's we had to acquire here and then Brianna looks up and sees that you're standing in front of a brothel and not not not here here here this vicinity not no no he's he's not here for sexual healing you don't have to explain to me I mean you guys have been on the road for a long time I understand it's just I mean now just doesn't seem like the best time I saw you know it is not it is not as frivolous as it appears I promise let's inside inside the honest harlot let's see here who hasn't rolled who's okay so standing in the lobby right now would be Yenward Rodswell and that's it yep Ross well give me a perception check please 13 okay here's what we're gonna do go ahead and place your characters in the middle here somewhere like near that staircase okay that's not a very high perception role so what's gonna happen is the guy that that Yenward scared off his name is Merle and him and his boys he immediately retreated into the corner of this little bar and he's been just eyeballing Yenward the entire time and his boys are like oh man you're gonna learn punk you out like that that kind of thing and what's gonna happen right now is they are going to attack you fuck so what we're gonna do here is let's clear the initiative list let's let's get all these guys on here what we're gonna do is we can have after the fight starts like after we get like the first round going here you guys can hear it and intervene if you like but this first round it's just these guys okay this is nine dudes yes yes it is you guys can roll your own initiative I'm not even gonna make it a surprise round because you're in a bar looking for my initiative you all you have to do is go to the initiative tracker on the side terrible and just click the dice so Merle's gonna go first so they've got they've got like so this is a crowded busy place and everything and you don't quite notice that they've all kind of just surrounded you and are closing in until like there's an imminent attack and Merle is going to he has this rope and he's flicked it over one of the rafters like remember I told you there's exposed rafters up there yeah he is going to try and hang one of you so he's going to take the end of this rope like a lasso and throw it at Rod swell oh so let's see here oh wow I don't have to do that anymore I can just yeah BAM 23 versus AC sorry I was my AC is 23 so that just hits right yep that just hits so what's gonna happen is this rope oh god this rope is going to pull taunt around your neck and he's going to pull on it that's 3d wait sorry that is I can just click this now 3d 10 plus 10 23 damage sheets and you are going to be pulled back here and you're immobilized he's about to be a pinata that's save ends so this at you and it's going to do 10 damage until save it so you're mobilized and you take 10 damage each turn save ends so you are being hung right now in the back they are stringing you up so you can actually take your own damage off so just click the negative button there and take just shave 23 damage off I'm doing it type it yeah yeah yeah these other ruffians are going to they're all gonna start moving towards the world that'll be his whole turn yeah that's well your turn yeah again we're sorry I keep calling Thor that would be the end of your turn yeah unless you got something that would help you like escape that or something not really can I do an attack while being hung you can yeah you know what you can swing around and like I mean like it it's not gonna be like a mission with that's mostly gonna be like you kicking around and shit like like yeah like if you want to take a sword swing Adam or something like that go ahead you can take a melee basic again so I can't do like brand of the Sun no I mean like it that takes a bit you're being hung right I know I know it's more instinct than anything okay really basic 27 against AC 27 will hit him okay nine damage nine damage to Murrell so yeah so that you you're you're being hung and you swing around like huh just like you're cutting Adam go ahead and make a saving throw 17 17 okay you're fine like you you managed to you managed to slip your your neck out of this and you just kind of crumble down like you you kind of fall down you're catching your breath and everything so that's that's awesome that's really good okay oh you know what I just realized guys by the way just a note if we're using the dice on the side that's gonna take away our plus one for being speedy so oh yeah yeah you can add the one afterwards okay that's easy math yeah this other okay so the other ruffians that are kind of hanging on the bar like they they're they're eyeballing the n-word and they're they're gonna wander and this dude's coming at you with a dagger like this this this knife just coming at you 27 versus AC heads she'll hit 44 plus 5 that's 11 damage to you inward please so there's a full bore commotion at this point and all the ladies scatter and more ruffians start kind of coming out of the woodwork here running off my new friends you guys stop it stop it another dagger attack to you yeah where that's a 17 days he said that's gonna know roughy number eight one two three four oh yeah he's gonna sidle right up there just dog pile him hit well you're the big tough guy he the big show the wrong home 22 versus it misses oh wow okay y'all ain't real um right here and this one he's gonna whip out his mace so 30 oh that's a crit 3d8 plus 5 so let's see 29 damage yeah ouch so 29 damage to yenward if only the people listening could see that there's a circle jerk going on on our map it's yen words turn though yes it is um okay um just a break for a second Merlin told me one of my attacks can hit more than one person okay can somebody help me find out which one of those does that no I want to say it was reading strike but I don't knew there was a cleave cleave yeah we can images yeah and an enemy adjacent to you other than the target takes damage to your strength mod so what's that five six my strength modifier is six okay so yeah that's cool oh go ahead now okay which one of the which one of these guys hit me we'll hit them first hum to hit you three hit you I think don't get one hit you one hit you I'll get one okay one's the one with the knees fucking it's right on 29 I'll totally hit him to detail let's see whoops 22 okay so you're gonna bury your axe in this guy's chest oh and he's just gonna like like stumble backwards trying to get his trying to get his bearings and fall dead on the stairs delightful it don't and I get to hit number two right you do right that's yes that did six damage to him so yeah yeah all right cool cool okay fuck you Murrow wow we got some more ruffians the other ruffians seven is going to run over to Roswell and try and stab him 24 it yeah and then 15 from his dagger so you can shave that off if you like number four is going to race up his buddies are in trouble man and he wants to help yes so he's going to try and plunge his dagger into that's a plus two so 20 so miss yanward yeah still gonna miss yanward that's the end of the round so you guys are hearing this commotion are you going to you're gonna go investigate this sounds like an old like a wild west bar fight like people are you know like it's a lot of commotion and crash I was violent I really want to throw a run-out butt naked so what like this everybody's hearing like screaming and people being hung and shit like that right yeah I mean like you hear what sounds like you know I mean you heard the vegans like you're fucking out of here that kind of thing and then like you hear it muffled like and then you just hear like what appears to be like stabbing fistfight like clanging of armor that kind of thing like it's it there's a fight going on like it's obvious okay I'm gonna ask draconis if it's if he's alright if he's good here by himself yeah I'm good man just go see what the hell's going on gonna scamper downstairs all right so you can start rates right there on the stairs if you want I'm alcass and Brianna are gonna be able to hear this right outside the door like you're you're standing right outside so do you want to insert yourself into this air malkus I look in the window are any of my other party members being hung right at this moment everyone get clear news yes just just one person being hung at the moment actually just he's alright like he's like he's not being hung but he is being stabbed okay well I I believe in their capacity to handle the yokels what I really want to be is tell actually uh see here's the thing Brianna is a human but I'm the one that the captain of the guard is met so I need malkus looks at Brianna and says we need to get the captain of the guard now what's he look like I described the captain of the guard isn't he right down the street could he just point him out yeah I mean like he's like he's ducking in and out of establishment stuff like he's yeah so yeah like he's like ducking in and out of places like he kind of throws like yeah like doing round it's one roads in town so it's not like it's yeah it's not gonna take her long like so she's gonna run off okay but is he is he in earshot and on the road right this minute no okay yeah I point her in the direction and oh geez I don't want to choices choices yeah I don't think I'll yeah guys I like how he says you guys it's like yeah for these first came up for some reason for some reason the way Rob started it was oh they can handle it like it's just like my friends are in trouble trouble time for roleplay he's okay he's only a little bloody he's fine yeah I will point out the person that you're seeing is Rod's well not well Malkus is also a heartless bastard solace is actually so which door am I at Jason this would be like let's let's say right here okay and I can see you could see Rod's well plain as day like he's getting he's getting the shit kicked out of him he's been stabbed he's been hung like it's he's not having a good time like you could see you could see the rope hanging over like the rafter like you can it's very clear what's going on okay so they're still trying to noose him up again there yeah that's probably gonna be Merle's go-to like he seems to be that kind of guy Alabama you gotta hate people from trees I'm not saying that that's indicative of any state in the Union I'm just saying he couldn't find a tall enough tree so he just used the rafters yeah get your get your hooves off that lily white flower boy I will say the move that he used to hang around so he's called hang them high I just oh I need to roll for initiative um yeah please do that I'm gonna roll I'm trying to figure out if malkus is in this fight oh yeah yeah so malkus goes up he's got his weapons drawn but he doesn't actually swing at anyone he just gets into there and he shouts make for the exit now but he does not swing who's he yelling at yelling it you know word or like those the party the party members I'll just look at the inward supposed to get away oh I just stopped playing and walk off they're gonna stop me oh that's a window that's a window dive out the window oh excuse me sir just we can hold on a second if you want to try and make an acrobatics check the leap out a window we can do that that's awesome back flip make it cool do a barrel roll that's never jump over a tiny thing of lava he's not gonna make it out of window I I look over at malkus and I say we're bloody here I think it's a little too late for retreat but these guys not to talk to us now defending ourselves what is gnarls at him do it get to the chopper now do it now okay okay if I leave they get to take two opportunity attacks against me this is true you know what did you think out the window wait wait wait wait wait wait it's not you and we're turn hold on oh hold on hold on well then you can shift and then you can do a shift and a move on my turn he's still gonna get initiative though um malkus go ahead and roll initiative just in case okay I want to see where you're at in the initiative tracker here Justin you got a seven yeah pretty impressive yeah I don't want to brag but that so that's mine that's yours yeah and I wanna see what malkus got iron hide stops at the stairs to see a full round of commotion before he does anything and what's the word on Thorol's he joined in or I'm gonna ask him I'm gonna ask him right now he's enduring it's like thorough thorough is just doing a fantastic job upstairs but you do hear this commotion is that enough to break you away from what you're doing or I'm gonna I'm gonna look up and be like what the fuck was that it's gonna hurry up and finish on her back and run down and help why'd I give group one a brothel I don't understand sorry so so Eva's just gonna tell Thor you're just that good oh my god and you can continue to hear like you can hear like sword clattering and and and like that clearly things are going on is do you want to get involved yeah I just I'll just look at her and say from the from that commotion it probably has something to do with my friends okay are you nude there it is I throw my pants well now hold on a second that's gonna cost you a round if you want to get dressed now you can grab your axes and just jump into combat that's totally cool I am asking if you would like to take a round and get dressed we all put our pants on one leg at a time thorough no no no no no axe in one hand pillow in the other is gonna be slightly fluffy oh oh man I don't know just jump in naked but probably not good for my yeah I'm gonna take a round to put my clothes on okay so he's floral yeah it's more for the AC because I know if I'm not wearing anything that's not gonna help me but you'll be quicker yeah my term off yeah I see I see Thor was not nearly committed enough to his notable kills quest taking a round to put on pants taking a shot like Merle is like the biggest guy here like there's also white trash and white trash seven so they'll have Confederate flag tattoos and bam oh you lost third hollow will rise again I was wondering where the gas station is yes back the way you came okay so that's that's so Draconis isn't getting involved yen were Thorals taking a round to get pants and brings tossing some gold at her whatever it cost right okay yeah she's gonna give you a discount because you were so good that's how good you were a hooker gave you a discount that's that is Canon that is how good Thoril is that's just gonna be a story to everybody else right no one saw it but I mean like that's whatever yeah hookers give you discount share the probably had to pay extra liar they probably just talked Merle Merle is still standing right behind Rodswell and he's got this this leather like it's it's a combination like a stick and whip and it's it's just like this leather rod with a lift like a cat of nine tails on the end of it that kind of thing and he's going to do something called bump and lash he is going to try to swing it Rodswell and just pound him over the head and then whip him with the with with this thing at the same time this is awesome 20 versus your AC oh that will not hit Rodswell so you Merle missed see new ball six is still there okay so a bunch of these guys are surrounding yenward this guy is going to try and stab him 31 versus your AC that's gonna hit 14 damage damage and wait wait wait wait wait wait what I wish 31 yes may say that's that yeah one I was like I was like in the 14th no oh yeah yeah yeah uh Rodswell your turn okay I'm gonna use resurgent Sun on Merle okay 35 35 will totally hit almost a crit 17 damage okay so that's gonna just slam Merle and I get to spend a healing server is that all you want to do or you want to move I can shift without getting hit yeah okay and can I shift diagonally downwards yes we'll do that shift anywhere one space right there all righty new goal two is going to attack yenward with his dagger 21 but it's 20 he gets an extra two for flanking so it's 23 it's 12 damage to yenward everybody run do it quickly yenward's down to 20 yeah but you know it's AC is below 21 no it's 23 no it's health it is oh we got 22 that's right okay sorry 23 yeah so yeah that brings us to three geez yeah he's gonna do the same thing just whip out his dagger try and stab him oh well 27 that'll hit and 15 damage down to five oh shit nine-to-five still alive looks like he's not gonna be able to jump out the window the window cuts him to shreds and he dies the slices the throat right on the window he bleeds out halfway out just laying there like I almost made it still away from freedom okay let me paint a picture five of these thugs have surrounded yenward and they're just taking turns like like stabbing him with knives dogpiles me and they're just shanking me with knives number eight is gonna use his dagger 18 but that's 20 we're playing that's still not gonna hit moving yenward your turn ooh okay somebody give me a suggestion dive out the window they'll get an opportunity attack which will kill me fuck well they five dudes will get an opportunity to swing it to with cleave cleave him I am looking here what a spinning sweep do I don't know there should be a description it sounds like it should do something like cleave does because cleave doesn't tell me I can hit more than one person either that's description oh you're not the target permanent it's like you're sweeping the leg okay got you um can he shift to right below number six and then try to jump out the window um he's still gonna take an opportunity attack from six but yeah if he doesn't attack if I if I kill six can I jump well here's the thing the check is it is your standard action so that's in place of like so if you shift down and then try to jump at the window you're still gonna get one opportunity attack but that's better than five can I kill him and then go out the front door then well then you're gonna take an opportunity attack against a bunch of these guys because you're walking away yeah okay the window is positioned against the wall so like you think people can't see this at home the door is like around the corner like either one there's two doors that either one of them are out of your reach um real quick you didn't use bloody determination when you were bloodied or he is bloodied so he gets bloody determination sorry I can't read what that says oh shit let me check this real quick I know what it is but I don't it says two guys walk into a bar and get stabbed all right you're gonna get knocked out if you don't try I think that makes sense yeah because either one because if you stand there and hit somebody you're gonna get hit eventually but if you try to shift and then try to jump out six is gonna try to attack you but he might miss right then he's gonna have to athletics check - well yeah if he missed if he misses at that point then he's wasted his turn not attacking anybody there's a lot of chances here that can go very wrong yeah when it comes back around to me I can heal them so this is the worst I think I've seen the end we're get beat up yeah the problem is though if you try to heal him you got to make your way past so many people don't you know I can heal him from here oh so you just I have I have I have no I couldn't have healed them now I can I've moved so I can I do have potions we better use him here's potions okay so you get to if you bloody determination it's just if you miss an attack while you're bloody you reroll the missed attack oh cool yeah then what I am going to do here is Reds just by battle right wait what happened Reds encounter that means just count right right yeah right okay so I'm gonna use reckless strike number six so I want to make sure he's dead 22 22 hit Q and 6d 10 plus 8 motherfucker 43 oh my god okay how do you kill this guy drugs forehead to his ankles just clearing clean in half okay that you know what totally gonna allow that that's enough damage yes yeah that's that's very fucking frightening yeah just totally just there's two halves of this guy now I want to point him real menacingly yeah my brother pop a healing potion oh yeah and as my my erection I'm gonna pop my heel as you're drinking be pointing out I'll be like yeah you can pop your action point to everyone is it should I and just take another hit swing at somebody I mean I mean you get another potion - oh yeah I'll do that and take just take two potions they've been doing pretty damn good hitting you so I don't think that's gonna really help you all right so you've used the last of your potions that's it that's fun there's no action point does he get a minor action and a real action no no one action no you get one action so you can't attack no well you attacked already that was it and then he used his he used the popped it for a minor basically so yeah if you pop an action point that means you get one move or one attack or one minor action you get one of those all right I used my minor action take a potion and then I took another potion and devil yep fist and potions okay so that is the last of your potion no okay well no actually he didn't move so yeah he gets shipped Oh yes a Tokyo drill attacked me though well if you shift one space you're fine get to the window okay so you have backed up against this window number seven you know what number seven fucking hates malkus for interfering and he's gonna swing his mace at malkus make a red face 17 against your AC that's not gonna do much that's totally not gonna do much malkus your turn did malkus will malkus will stay where he is do total defense and just keep shouting move move move like he wants his party to get out of this building okay duly noted number four is going to sidle up next to yanward here he's gonna he's gonna kill he's over he's a brave one mr.

Grinch he's gonna use something called dazzling strike me to put glitter all over and dazzle it up look at something good 20 versus your AC is gonna do dick so never mind yeah I don't hide party under this train is gonna be eating dick oh that's terrible he's gonna take opportunity strikes I imagine to get in the middle of this yes he is um so just mainly basic stuff so okay let's see that's gonna hit your AC 23 no my AC is 24 oh well 18 that's gonna miss - so yeah you're good great he's gonna be aiming towards number four these powers we're gonna use I'm gonna be aiming right for his gut he works with a green flame blade and favorite 29 that was almost 29 will hit totally totally hit all right and how much damage does even matter RKO everybody 15 15 is going to bloody this guy totally bloodied him I'm gonna use my for my minor I'm going to use on number eight it's gonna be a geos of assault Oh doesn't green flame blade do damage to adjacent targets - I think that's like I'm gonna use the fingers I think that it's like right here alongside of him no I think it says adjacent let me check it though yeah - did oh it is yeah - would be adjacent either way yeah green flame blade yeah that's totally it it deals fire damage equal to your strength modifier to all enemies adjacent to the target I think that is - yeah that hit - then not three that hits strength modifier is three so that does three damage to him all right cool there you go three damage and you said minor what are you doing minor I'm gonna use on number eight it's gonna be the a genius of a song okay Murrell okay Murrell's gonna grab this rope that's hanging and he's gonna say I'm gonna teach you to interfere and fucking bullshit the don't a fucking fuck fuck like he's just like he's just totally like string of obscenities like strong vocabulary he does he's not he's not a reader this Murrell over four words where he got the fuck and it was a fuck I have reached the pinnacle of mankind and he's going to whip this at malkus defense all defenses at plus four because of total defense okay 33 still get that well that's gonna hit it um okay 27 damage oh holy smokes and malkus is going to be he's going to be drug adjacent to Murrell hanging by his neck he is now immobilized until save ends or until a teammate cuts him down something like that maybe we should all just leave right now and just leave malkus right there yeah yeah do it go ahead he said no matter what just right Roswell your turn wait wait wait wait windows are minor action oh get Thoril Thoril your pants are on that's my pants are on um shove yourself right there on the on the steps right in here okay hey great just right about there yeah that's good I'm going to roll initiative for me too okay just you can go right to the initiative initiatives with a minute I gotta remember what my initiative was hang on no you don't just click the dice it does it for you oh there we go 21 there you go okay so rots well your turn okay so is it a minor action to cut down malkus yes okay I'll do that okay so minor action you're you're swinging the sword and you've you've cut down malkus now so malkus is no longer immobilized he is prone so no longer I look at malkus and ask him is the plan still to move to get out your response he still says go yeah sorry okay peace I guess I'll take the up I guess is an opportunity from seven there if I go no well I mean if you run then yeah well then yeah there would be okay so there'd be one opportunity attack yeah I don't really see a way you can get around it so I'll tell them 16 he's gonna miss yeah okay so they've run out the door well first actually while I'm here I'll do a healing on I'll do a healing what's it called then we're doing word on healing word onion word say okay he gets I'm levels level of my nine nine yep so 2d6 plus his yes so healing surge plus 2d6 so he rolls a 2d6 okay no you roll 2d6 oh okay it didn't have the dice next to me so I just assumed it was him yeah that's fine nice and ten plus his healing search that's 31 all right that'll bring yen we're back up to 56 okay so you're get that okay so you're you're paused by the door here um new ball ruffian 2 is going to try and stab iron hide oh don't do it for getting involved 25 that hits learn you 20 damage okay they're pretty hard for a bunch of hex with daggers it's true well it's a lot of people that wonder but I bet they stab a lot of things though wait there are nine of them in here too so yeah this is kind of their bar Thoril your turn Thoril is gonna turn to Malcolm say you sure we need we're just gonna leave Malcolm says go yeah so you're having this conversation in the middle of a fight I want to let you know that that's so what's the battle plan okay okay it's should I just be like just go go he can't go anywhere cuz he's stuck well I was gonna ask if I could do like an acrobatics or athletics check to just leap yes really you can hop the rally yes you can all right it's gonna break his leg would it be athletics or acrobatics it's gonna be acrobatics cool now I got a plus 15 man and 19 okay so Thoril after getting a hooker to give him a discount sprints down the stairs and then deftly clears this railing and then lands like a cat on the other side of it and you're gonna spend your other your other action I guess to run out the door yes okay so that's hilarious he's that my friends are trouble runs out jumps the rail takes a call well cuz by the time I come down that's when I'm hearing Malchus you know tell Rod Swell to go yeah exactly um let's see new ball number three new he's gonna take a stab at at at iron hide to 30 so that's totally gonna hit and there to 13 damage so 13 damage to you number eight okay number eight is going to shift forward one and use something called brutal kick on Thor on on Yennard who's standing by this window shy bricks for me whatever gets us there never gets us to point me 30 made it out good job so that's 13 damage let's say 13 damage plus an additional d6 because of the glass six so okay so that's 19 damage and Yennward tumbles out the window kind of funny here he's bloodied and tumbles out the window into the streets of during hollow just okay all right because because he didn't attack me yes I'm gonna use the basic melee attack okay damn 29 almost script 20 29 oh yeah did you know that was almost crit nine damage nine damage um yeah Yennward's totally prone on the on the street just just laid out god you've all ruffian seven is gonna take a swing at a downed malkus 28 that's 30 because of the yeah it's a crit no it's not no it's not a creek it's almost I saw the 14 next to the fuck you saw the 14 14 what you say fuck you to who suck his dick malkus your turn oh how many of my allies are clear I'm bloody man these are tough you're busy stop right at the door so no one else can get out you can move past you go through our spaces yeah so again we're get off the map technically yes okay cool malkus will shift here to avoid opportunity attacks and then one two three four five six and okay making for the border and he looks but he gets out there he looks around to see if the captain of the guard is on his way and he and Brianna both are good for let's see four can do can really do nothing but like look out the window and see the the sprawled Yennward in the street like soaking up in his own blood just like doing good I like it was Brianna captain of the guard that's the first thing they see is the end we're just flying out the window so force just gonna shift over here and take a swing at iron hide real quick Jesus that's 25 yeah it's and 14 damage right your turn all right um a blast what is that like a close blast is that pick a corner and it comes out from that corner like you're so it comes out like this yeah does it encompass anything else or it's just this well what's what's the blast what's it blast two three something like that sorry yeah okay so it would be like that's not correct delete that so if you're firing it down here it would be like that all right I'm gonna shift back one I'm gonna use that okay last three so yeah that's bigger than that one two three what's gonna hit the wall I guess yeah it's gonna yeah whatever so it's gonna hit those three whatever okay okay all right I'm gonna roll this for each one at a time or just roll it like one row is for the attack this is for the attack you're going right down the line so eight that'll hit score and it's great he's dead that's a crit he's very vanquished yeah he's very dead - that will miss that wait this versus fortitude that'll hit and that'll hit so you hit all yeah so attack rolls just get left damage so this is dimensional thunder so okay you've killed let's see you killed four and two and everyone else just takes oh wait you killed you killed eight - wow okay wow good job man Wow nice and he's just gonna take 11 damage and okay okay malkus it just oh man this is such a cluster fuck I'm wondering how this is now cuz that thing can be removed from him right that he's not prone anymore no just dried himself belly crawled out the front door he's doing the worm so malkus malkus is very much trying to get the reins on this thing and you're watching teammates flee the scene of a crime like it's like you're watching them sprint out opposite doors and fall out of windows and like it's not looking good fall the captain of the guard is going to run down the street with Brianna and and they see this minute or tumble out of the window and it's just like he hits like this like just like someone threw a bearskin rug out of second story window basically it's just like back like said he's just sprawled out like a lot of damage has been done to get worse he's cut up and bloody and he's not doing well so the captain of the guard is gonna just race up and he's talking to malkus cuz he would be the first one like on the scene like he'd be right there what the hell happened there was a fight in the bar I needed you here to keep the peace I'm sorry I can't be everywhere at once I don't know guys could be trust not scolding you I just sent someone to get that's all who exactly is fight what happened was it over I have no idea she's just bad I heard it break out and sent for you and he's gonna creep over to the window and see that it's Merle and his boys that's that's a problem those guys are with the new vault I what it's a slave ring they they trade slaves that's that kind of the only income this town has it the mayor'd have my ass if I touch him I mean it I I mean I can break this up but I don't think Merle's gonna let this go well then tell Merle he can find us he can find us again if he wants to settle anything um inside let's okay so let's keep this let's okay meanwhile inside Merle is continuing this is not stopping because I in Heights still in the still in the building so it's Roswell save yourself Roswell's by the door but yeah Merle's gonna move up to yeah he's gonna move right up to Ironhide and you know that cat of nine tails thing he's gonna try to wrap that around around iron hides throat why well again Merle isn't the brightest but it's not gonna choke on your stupid um so 27 to your AC yeah okay 29 damage so what is this is it like oh well that killed me so you're down okay well there's another throat you should get some leeway it's still like choke it's still what you just put a pipe on its neck bolts doesn't care so that does do damage though I mean it's still like yeah yes he's I'm still down so doesn't matter doing it aggressively and you get a negative to attack penalty I'll make sure to do that while I'm on the ground okay well Rod's well still run everybody run speaking of which Roswell okay um can I heal him yes you can okay if you want I mean so uh well first off I'm gonna use yeah I'm gonna use them to kill him so I'm gonna use your second healing we're my second healing word on him which is a minor action so okay roll 2d6 roll seven okay so that will bring see that'll bring iron hide up to 26 I'm also gonna use dark speech on moral let's nail something down about dark speech it doesn't hurt him right um I'm taking it as you're flicking him back just cuz that is how we've always oh it's how should have been also before yeah I'm not mad at that let's not get into the children um let's just go ahead let's see if you hit him first so you are doing it is done I'm pushing him even yes you are okay it's yes so I always get caught up here on the rolls it's uh me too my intelligence wisdom or charisma so my highest is your eyes your wisdom character so it's wisdom yeah so it's six so it's d20 plus six plus half your level I believe okay d20 plus six plus four also go d20 plus ten yeah okay and I roll it 23 against fortitude that'll hit do I do a separate role for each one no okay so 23 for sportitude reflexing will that'll hit everything okay so he falls prone he grants combat advantage and he pushes him back how many squares it says I don't trust me to the stairs right I mean he has the stairs um yeah yeah so he hits the stairs and it will do damage because that he's hitting the stairs so let's say five damage just for hitting the stairs and he falls prone and comment advantage okay and I at this point step outside okay okay Thoril you're you're still outside you're not doing anything right yeah I'm not gonna do anything okay number three is going to he's he's going to sidle up next to iron hide and he's going to use his dagger 27 it and 17 - okay that's a good plan it's a good plan he's gonna I do have a question for fun and you decided to stab somebody I do have a question sure um say I'm done with my nose stuff upstairs I was gonna ask you after this next round okay so you'll be a wait till this round is over okay just just it just there's like one more yeah yeah wait I'll okay okay okay the he's gonna take his knife and stab it on 29 oh my god that's it and 15 these fucking rednecks are serious man maukes you're outside and watching this it doesn't appear as though this captain of the guard is going to intervene unless if this goes much worse he's going to have to but I mean it like he's he's really really reluctant about this do you want to say anything to him or do you want to do anything at all didn't he say he was going to at least break it up he said I can break it up if you want it's just gonna like I mean are you sure that's what you wanted to do break it up okay iron hide go ahead and this is your turn go ahead and and and do your saving roll thing but you're the last one in the initiative what's that just a 20 well yeah just each one got a five so I take one strike one okay so captain the guard actually Draconis first because you've been in here this entire time so you would have everything you need right now and you would have done a line of this code oh yeah it's not coke well I'm for lack of a better a better term like that's what everyone refers to it as well it's just it's Draconis went upstairs went rooting and now he's back yeah they just call it root yeah that's what that's okay okay you did a hit a root and um or a nuke from Robocop okay so a benefit of this is that for the next few minutes you are very amped like you're ready to go like you are like that is where let's do this came from like you are fucking you feel off thousand percent better you just oh god you're ready to go you're gonna get a plus two to any attack rolls okay also what about my hit points because the reason I was low is because I was sick should I be back to full yeah yeah that's totally fine except for the yeah yeah except for the four from the rock the rock stand pretty sure when we leave this building I'm gonna find that kid flame wall right in his fucking chest you leave Vernon alone okay so um why don't you position yourself so you've left you've got you've got everything you need and everything so you've left the room position yourself on those stairs right there I'm gonna ask you if there's anything you'd like to do I'm right here really amps let's add you to the initiative tracker go ahead and enroll initiative there and you know what let's add plus two to your initiative right subby 20 20 okay so 20 should be a surprise attack so it should have been no well it's not nothing surprising at this point so that slips you firmly in the center there captain the guard is going to he is let's insert him hold on a second I kind of wanted to come down hidden like I want to come down like right here there's that like in your current state you're not thinking about stealth oh okay yeah that's not captain the guard is going to just walk in the doorway it's crazy well yeah that looks more fearful to me like he wakes up and this is what he feels every single morning he's gonna give a shout-out to Merle hey girl and it's you crazy what you doing well let's I think it's gonna have to be a diplomacy check to Merle and he's going to say Merle knock off knock all this off come on stop stop beating up these folks that is a d20 plus eight it's a 21 come on guys let's let's knock this off what is Merle's wow that is not quite high enough to me wow is one crazed redneck um there ain't no raising it with them I guess I got to add the captain here to the initiative Merle's not stopping guys Merle's not stopping this isn't this isn't stuff captain can't talk sense into a Merle's not stopping so the captain at this point draws his sword and it looks like he's going to have to put Merle down put you down Merle fucking yell this Malcolm shouts to the captain can we help you yeah if you want at this point he's not listening to reason okay Merle's on the ground that's all the oak all I needed was a deputization I'm gonna hand Merle his ass okay let me climb back in this window like the most ungraceful cat burglar you've ever you gotta get up first gotta get up before you can jump through windows all right is the end we're still in the initiative tracking yeah should be okay just making sure no I'm not I got taken on okay so let's add you back to the initiative tracker okay well okay Merle is going to stand up and he is mumbling the entire time okay yanward yanward outside yanwards down and okay Merle is going to flat-out try to execute Ironhide what he is that in rage you fuckers didn't see this coming he is going to raise that lash and he is going to try and bring it down on Ironhide again 14 that's a crit miss that is a crit miss like heat so he's woozy from standing up and he goes to swing and just like hits ground like no no Ironhide whatsoever in that shot Rod Swell do you want to do anything here yeah I'm going to head back in I'm assuming okay I'm assuming by his saying that we can get involved that you know that includes me he's so yeah everyone any yeah whoever can help bring this big fucking crazy redneck burn it with some rocks at this gas for damage okay so I will be there um see here where is it I have I have a I have a power that lets somebody spin do a healing server and not healing sir just saving throw with that would that allow Jarek to try to come back he'd get he'd get to throw another saving through yeah but if he misses it's another strike oh it counts against him on that too well I mean it's it just allows me to use another yeah right would you want to do that now or do you want me to yeah sure let me find it everything's all weird and mixed up here see it's not mark of victory it's not fully cleansing oh it is okay yeah so it is a holy actually okay yeah so it's a minor action it's holy cleansing I can give it to iron hide and he can make a saving for zero plus five so it's pretty good daily it is a daily but that's okay I get a plus two because I'm currently being attacked by somebody no yeah do you yeah that's the thing that the warforged get to your saving throws one second war for yourself no that's not it that's not a plus one oh yeah saving throws against that's ongoing damage so I guess that's not it no no nope I would like fire something like that all right plus five oh fuck me so that's another strike one more that's six okay so yeah that's another strike Hebrew to crit one okay damn that's as bad as that could have been um but then I also that was my minor so yeah it could have been boys it could heal everybody stick together and fight it's one rather than just bail can you do it I already used a heel on them and I used to I don't have any heels left so wait how many you have to use it on this peeling word things yeah so well you can get next to him to make a heel check like that's the only other thing you can do right well I can't really move anymore so I could do that like next time although I do have a point well that just gives them resistance I don't have anything else on here so I'll just use blessings battle I'll use blessing the battle on seven so okay 22 versus AC 22 will hit okay and damage is 12 that will bloody him okay um and he gets I'll go ahead and I give it to iron hide he gets resistant all damage until the end of my next turn the resistance equals my Constitution modifier so okay cool totally the world are you are you inserting yourself in this yeah I'll insert myself into this since obviously everyone else is um if I if I get on the other side of that number three do I get combat advantage even though iron hides down no oh well it don't matter anyway because I'll just be right there anyway you can't be down forever well the yeah the point is that the guy will be down forever though hopefully uh not on me no I didn't buy any as far as I remember I'll just do melee basic attack on on three here oh god five something still through I know I just noticed that let's go up there the entire time but I didn't show it dude one Japanese guy in the corner just like doing up leaning against the wall doing nothing to fight he must know some really cool shit like you don't even know um 31 that'll hit sir okay whatever the initiative tracker didn't pick him up so whatever patron number five leaves 23 23 damage will kill him boom dead gone all right am I able to shift or no you move no okay to get there yeah Draconis your turn all right first of all I just this is what just happened I just saw the guardsmen jumping or the the captain run in I just saw Roswell run in and Thor running but before that I walk out in nobody's in the room and I see jerk getting destroyed by everybody so I just want to scream out before I before I do anything I'm just scream out where the fuck was everybody and then I am going to conjure fireball good lord and it's gonna you seriously gonna cast fireball in here yes okay no we'll see what happens disappear Oh put number five back he ran out right yeah and I'm rolling for I guess I'll roll for number seven first yeah you're a little close to your mic just let you know oh sorry sorry just a tiny bit it's all good how's that better much better you're fine okay uh here is towards reflex for number seven twenty nine that'll hit and then Merle Oh 14 nice this is good you're gonna miss Merle course action all right but luckily I I do get God half-damaged you have damage yeah so here's my damage for an I guess the thing okay 15 damage oh okay Draconis is going to whip out a fireball in this closed bill what do I get plus two for real quick that was attack rolls that's still not quite enough oh no sixteen oh no he's lighting the building on fire isn't he this building is mostly constructed of walls on most buildings in area and this is going to erupt within the building this is like usually there's a large dissipation that's why there's like there's the point of impact and then whoosh like this is a big number seven is caught in the blast and is just he goes up like a Roman candle just goes up just whoa whoa whoa just totally and he just eventually stops moving gruesome like flips back over the bar falls dead like he just stops just like totally dead Merle on the other hand is just catching a whiff of this like it's like he manages to to avoid a lot of this blast being on the outskirts of it and he is going to take seven damage as a result the building is very much on fire okay so yeah where's Brianna all this um that is a very good question she's she's she was standing outside with Malkus I didn't add her to the initiative tracker I should let me do that go ahead you were gonna say something there huh no no proud of yourself I was gonna I was gonna do my action point but I'll save it you know what let's yeah that actually really sucks I have this bottle of kerosene here I just knocked over this hurricane lamp and all right yeah that's the building is on fire so the back half of this building is very much on fire so anyone within that is going to take ongoing damage let's do that so let's put this back oh yeah my bad that's cool the only nice place here so anyone back there is gonna take ongoing let's say 10 fire damage anybody standing in that in that thing Brianna is gonna ask Malchus dick do you want me to do something stop Merle no save no no stop save iron hide man Oh Marcus hasn't seen iron hide that I know that's why I'm interrupting here I can hear you okay but you're not you're not out you're inside the building you would not hear you're dealing with her you're inside a flaming converted barn basically that's the door I can't hear them they stop no she would be you can't hear him over the roar of the blade every block is like five yes like I said they're ten feet out the door so I can't hear the captain's next to you yeah she'd be about 20 feet away from you yeah I know like I said take it out the door okay yeah if I didn't hear them that's fine yeah I'm just saying like you're you're a little bit inside and the place on fire it's just so she's gonna go try to stop Merle so um okay so she's going to move in I guess she's gonna use force blast further into the fire God you don't need to contain this place let's knock all these walls down wait wait a minute each turn does the fire expand each round that will Jesus Christ this now like a little fire is one thing this is a fireball like you unleashed a fireball is the magic old dry wood just waiting for an eruption like this 23 to Merle's they said yep that'll hit for fortitude actually um no that is a say okay um oh wow okay 19 damage to Merle and he is knocked back against this wall good Lord it's a window oh shit that is a window how many like that's six faces so one two three fuck me he'd be knocked out the window like you saved him oh my god she's she's did a terrible thing so wait a sec this is fucking stupid it evolves victorious everyone three this guy is not victorious he is on fire and chucked okay so the damage from that then the damage of being thrown out a window and that would be six spaces so that would be into that bush so the bush now catches on fire because he's on fire we're gonna burn this entire town down by the way except no because they're only hookup or dragon right now yeah true and for kids we're not gonna be welcome back in this town Merle's bloodied and laying in a bush prone on fire on well okay well yeah I got you he's not on fire really he was standing in fire briefly um um Brian is gonna charge I guess this is this is okay it's the captain's turn he's gonna haul can I yell something in the middle of this or no um please go ahead if you want all right uh can we just I just want to scream let's get iron hide and get out of here good plan the cat the cat is right about I know he's heavy though no one's going anywhere until we put out this fire what the hell did you do why did you throw a fireball in this building all right firstly good point but really dude okay so we got a battle now I'm gonna say yeah Merle's had enough like that's enough like I was about to say come here so wait let me ask the party something I'm gonna give you a couple of options now there's a crisis this went from let me oh good god we've been like two hours in this hold on let me ask you guys let me recap and then ask you a question it started out as redneck is is fucking with you intimidated he runs back to his friends they jump your friends everybody and then now there's a big fight with everybody building is on fire everyone's dead except for Merle who has been blasted across a room out a window so he's got glass in him he's he was burned he's like laying in a bush outside his shiny moment what what do you want to do like do you want to do you want to I'm just this is all recorded so that his so that the listeners can know that I'm exonerated that I'm in the building I did everything in my power to stop this from happening I really did you did you actually started you should have stayed here with the group stop mister that's your you know must I even do this right now let's let's figure out what we're gonna do first do you guys want to help put out this fire do you want to go after yeah okay is is iron hide still making death saves are we saying iron hide stabilized I would say now that Merle's been knocked out a window Rodswell can run over and heal him that's fine that's right yes he is right on the edge of this fire by the way like the room is burning around iron hide so personally I would is the captain of the garden understand if we take iron hide out of here real quick and he'll I don't think that would be a problem like you're carting his corpse off of the battlefield fix this place am I up at this point I think they're gonna drag you out of the away from the fire because it's a burning building it's like let's get his big metal ass out of here hopped up I can I'm just so damn strong I can just grab myself and throw them over my shoulder and run out the front door with him just Kool-Aid man through a wall with them just explode through the fire and dive out the back towards Merle you seriously want to go after Merle I was just messing around I'm asking iron high yes I do takes at least a round to resuscitate you though right doesn't it yeah hold on I'm asking it does this fight continue until Merle's dead or no here's thing the fight can't continue because we had to get out of battle to heal him so that would mean that we have to go back into battle for him to say I want to get a hold of Merle it's a manhood at this point it's not a manhunt he's laying in the bush it's he didn't get far like it's not use your sit on attack my okay answer is yes I want to kill me okay so let's take a vote of all the party members hold on I'm gonna run right down the line yanward iron hide Draconis you're all saying yes I'd like to kill the slaver yes okay everyone else like this building is still burning I'm alcus I'm in Roswell yeah Roswell attend to iron hide I'll be back in a moment okay PS don't walk around the corner yeah I don't say that last part but no seriously yeah if if nobody if I mean I'll walk around that corner put him back in the fire so he looks like the fire did it and then use a fire spell on him hold on hold on hold on Thoril uh it looks like there's enough guys going after him I'll help with the fire situation he's properly lynched okay let's okay so this building is burning the captain is frantic he's he's trying to he's trying to call over there's town guard throughout the through throughout the town who are drunk or sleeping or something cuz no one helped with this fight and he's he's just irate like yelling at these guys and could God um the rest of you go around the corner except for Roswell iron hide and Thor the rest of you go around the corner and he is very much still laying in this bush okay on my way he is he's conscious but like he's he's very slow to stir you're staying in fire he's he's he's he's very like he's he's just kind of like that totally dazed him that totally knocked him for a loop he's like he's he's got glass all over him he's he's like his clothing has been singed he's like he's still smoking like his boots are smoking one of his boots was knocked off in the blast how you guys want to do this like you're standing over his prone body we don't like your kind around here Murrow Sony can you see this tattoo it means not welcomed she this now kiss your Jonas which one you want to do the honors me please cuz he started it with me but it's a yeah yeah word he started with him so how do you want to do it do you know who I am Murrow I'm King yenward King yenward I I any bar I go into is my bar and bury my axe into his face before you do that Murrow is going to spit blood at you oh I'm gonna kill him with my hands so he's like he can't do anything about this he knows his the jig is up he's done like he can't do anything all his boys are dead you're surrounding his prone body like the bars burning it's done like and his last act it's basically just I gotta respect that a little bit like he's just like fuck you just like he just spits and it just like blood just like spatters all over like your waist and and like up in your stomach and shit just like that's that's his last act and how do you want to murder him in golf his puny heck head in my massive minotaur hands and just pop him like a grape that is gruesome I picture yenwards about to bring the axe down and he spits him's like mother fucker like he just loses his mind and just likes like he's just trying to end him with his hands so you crack this guy's skull like he's done like he's he's dead and it this awful sound like this hollow like it sounds like someone dropped a watermelon on the kitchen floor yes something like that cracked an egg if you had a stethoscope near it or something like just it's the worst just a thousand sounds that you thought you would never have to hear so this is the kind of shit that will keep you up with nightmares for the rest of your life if you're not used to it like this is terrible some Vietnam shit I think we do need to throw him back in the burning building - yeah malkus will nudge him back into that fiery square and kind of try to basically burn burn the body with blazing doom of the void okay so yanward has murdered this man and you are throwing him into the fire and and trying and burning his body at this point right so yeah he catches up real easy he's not fighting it so all his clothes go right up and he's he's just burning in this okay and then I look around for a while so we can say that we were going after water so you okay so he's right in that burning square so right outside the window where there's still fire like there's still fire everywhere around there and can we help with the burning whorehouse situation here the burning whorehouse well none of you guys have any water-based spells do you know or ice well iron hide has some ice based stuff yeah I have ice storm but I'm not gonna waste that on this am I up at this point or what you would be up like yeah you'd be up at this point like you'd have well they were murdering Merle on the back end of this place yeah so the captain and he's gotten a couple of the the the the sober enough town guard who can walk in there all grabbing buckets and they're trying to there's a well right in the middle of town so like they're trying to they're trying to put out this blaze as best they can I guess that's what the other three are doing as well at this point yeah like I I imagine that's pretty much in all hands on deck situation and um yeah I so iron hide you're up do you I mean you have deep freeze I guess that would help in this situation it would I'm not using it okay this fucking place goes up oh so you're not even trying to put out the fire at all okay wow okay that's not practical he wouldn't help another fire this place goes up with Merle throwing on Brandon there yeah it's time I'm frantically helping out because this establishment was very nice to me there's a yanford-sized hole in the wall just in case you don't feel like you can just walk right through it so um the the upstairs there's just tons of commotion you got like half-dressed hookers running down the stairs and out the door like it like you're I mean like it's just full-blown panic so it just smoke and and awfulness all over after a while it looks like you you guys are getting the blaze pretty much under control though this establishment is ruined it's it's it's done it's totally this is this is major renovations how much like gold wise we're talking tens of thousands like we're yeah we're this is this is a big deal and you guys just murdered you guys just had to move well I'm just saying the new vault are the town's main source of income can I pull the town guard aside first like the main you captain yeah yeah okay I pull him he's just he's just standing there looking at this like shaking his head and I'll have Thoril Malkus with me because I guess Draconis and Ironhide don't really want anything to do with this it will yanward I want to go like at some point I want to go back to the herb shop okay we'll get yeah okay so unless I had once to be I mean do you want to be around iron hide or you gone you're gone aren't you so yeah okay so I pull the guard aside real quick and I go if I give you a thousand gold will you let us will you let us get out of here as fast as possible this town's room we were acting in self-defense we were acting in self-defense and I'm sorry about the establishment but we need to get out of here now you don't understand the two biggest sources of income for durn hollow is this is the honest harlot and the new vaul and both are gone not to mention when the rest of the new Paul find out about this I I don't know what's gonna happen just like you know I look at Malkus you have any ideas I did everything in my power to try to keep this fight from happening unfortunately Merle pushed some of ours to the limit I regret their decision to escalate things to a certain degree I was defending myself I was being attacked you weren't there you didn't see what happened in the first place nobody started this except for them and then they attacked us I was attacked by five guys at one time four guys sorry so the idea that I could have ran before anyone else showed up was a little ridiculous once you showed up and once other people started showing up and I had an opening we tried to take off and they kept attacking us we were I don't see the problem here you don't see the problem here I don't see I don't see what we did wrong porch we were trying to get out you didn't say anything to set set these guys off I mean look I'll tell you exactly what happened they were trying they they Merle started bullying inward he got up he told him to leave any and Merle left he came back with his guys that's what happened Merle was threatening in word and he was telling him that he wasn't welcome around here you know I think it would be best if you all just left I think that's for the best as well I we're gonna have to explain this to the rest of the new ball if they ever find out we you you all need to go and I still I still hand him a thousand gold as an apology for what happened I imagine while this is going on is winter Cronus is at the herb shop right um yeah we can do that but most of the town is is standing like watching this you know if there there's a fire or something like that you know how everyone just kind of like stands on the sidewalk and watches it yeah it's pretty much like that I'm way that for Cronus on this one okay so let's take while the town burns behind you so no we burned down Alabama shits about to get serious here just a second so yeah oh Jesus Christ they really ruined portion of the town we need to finish the job there's a chance on she bitch oh my god let's take away let's take away 500 from both malkus and draconian us from earlier took away thousand from Rod swell and malkus let's let's get your stuff um boy this is terrible well you guys you guys you guys okay back at K's choice across the street how do you want to enter this establishment you can all right is is ironhide with me or yeah okay first of all I I'm not gonna gently open the door I'm uh uh I'm slightly gonna kick it open okay you're gonna take all of a sudden see you get all hopped up on coach this boss are beating your kids yes so uh I want to enter this establishment I want to walk up to the desk and where where is this lady at the desk where she in the back where she's same place she was she was looking out the window and she saw you guys coming and she got right behind the thing okay you're a little close to your mic I have a feeling you're gonna get loud oh sorry oh sorry you're okay I'm not gonna get loud I'm gonna get nice and calm okay nice and calm I'm gonna nobody's yelling yeah it's all good it's all good okay uh I'm gonna demand okay I got a little loud sorry I'm a demand from her I need to know your source I need to hook up right now strong okay wow okay this is the most grimdark D&D campaign ever been a part of this is the max pain everybody sandpaper your vocal cords we're about to play D&D I was halfway through my second rail when I realized I need to get to the source everybody has to talk like an asshole like that yeah you got to talk like that yep okay sometimes the actions you take to save the world will tattoo the pain upon your soul I like yeah that's everyone's got to talk like that now like Final Fantasy characters oh that's what me okay I'm the hero Gotham deserves oh no not Batman voices that's that we ruined the episode shit you think the blood road is your ally okay all right so I did ended to know who the source was that she doesn't have to say it she's okay first of all first she's she's intimidated like just the fact that you guys like kind of like aggressively open the door listen to your bitch like that you are you're definitely strong on me this woman that is her business she is a she's essentially a middleman for this thing and you're trying to take you're trying to take that away from her I'm not gonna tell you that crazy I I want to I want to stop and I want to just tilt my head down just a little bit it almost Chuck a little bit it's are you being serious I think that's an intimidate check sure that feels like an intimidate check that is it's actually yeah I wasn't very intimidating earlier let's see how to plus two oh shit oh my god I didn't have to do that sorry add to that 27 27 okay I I can't I think that'll ruin me I won't have anything left I don't give two shits about that all right I need to know the source right now and I want to slam my fist out on the table um she's gonna jump as soon as you you slam your fist um I like this is I'm not doing anything but he's just playing hard he's just standing there it's working on a raging semi right now I'm so glad I'm not around for this this is amazing okay how are you not the villains some of us are villains and some of us are victims of circumstance Jason okay okay I was attacked true okay okay okay um she she's going to like her hand is shaking um and she's going to she's going to reach into like on the table there's like parchment and stuff like that so she's going to to to to write down the name of someone and and the location and and she's going to like like shakily slide this over to over to Draconis all right now I want to grab it and I actually want to look at it make sure make sure it's legit you don't have to say anything but is it like legit or is it something like Oh Tim Smith no no I mean like it's a name and a location like it's it's um okay it's okay now I want to look at it for a minute mm-hmm and then I cut my eyes back to her and ask her is this legit can I trust you yes just look just don't hurt me okay just please don't hurt me she's just gonna start crying like you've intimidated her to the point where it's like this big-ass dragonborn just burst into her shop with her with his fucking his his warforged muscle like just standing in the background saying nothing all right I want to uh I want to fold the note up the envelope or pet piece of parchment and I'll put it in my pocket I want to grab out another uh thousand gold now I want to drop it on the desk so that the piece of paper told you about a guy named Andre Ramiro who lives in Donhurst okay okay so you've handed her another thousand gold I did drop her thousand gold and we can leave but I want to say something before I do leave actually like all the way out the door sure I want as as we're opening the door and leaving I just want to look back here and say I do trust you but so help me God if this is wrong you were gonna burn the fucking ground and then I want to walk out she's just gonna uncontrollably cry good too far wait better than I anticipated right before we leave I want to see compared to the brothel that was smooth I would have put both of my hands down on the table and lean inside one of sack full potions yeah we're not rock well I mean I didn't really Robert but okay so wait a second he's doing Armin or do it oh my god you Christ huh okay let me ask a question how much is a sack no hold on hold on how much is a sack Justin you like give me all of your is that not saying give me a whole of yours okay whatever you think is appropriate for this situation okay well for 600 plus pound war forage that's in your face right now she is going to start I'm oh she's is your life worse there's a show you think is enough there's a shelf behind you that is filled with health potions she's going to take a burlap sack and just start clawing them off the shelf and just click click click into this bag like shaking and crying the entire time I'm just a man of all I'm just imagining aren't hide leaning in and being like did you know that the human body is worth only six gold pieces worth of chemicals and and she's going to again it shaking crying just like hand this over to you like she's stretching out her arm and it's very tentative like please don't break my fucking arm mr. metal man like and and just like she's gonna hand you this bag you're fucked up good Alina and say thank you very much and hesitate right before I leave and I just flip a coin at her say thank you one gold for how odd you trading places sir that's awful okay well I laughing no I understand that's right got you see the fucking game you ever go night night I'll take a couple of those you know what you're a peer to have you appear to have made off with about 20 healing potions look at that guy's profit profit oh you want on some potions also she's she is going to scamper over to the door and lock it behind you as soon as you as soon as you leave like she's just gonna fall against the door you hear her crying like the second you walk out the door nobody but him is privy to the fact that he robbed her I just want to point that's true that is true like iron heights the only one in it well Draconis knows what he did and iron I'd knows what your konas did but no one else knows what iron hide did and I guess you're regrouping with the team who is I would guess getting ready to leave I pictured as high tailing out of town seeing them exit and calling them with us and just getting out we got some fast horses we should use them Wow I'll dirty my god how did this become the last 10 minutes of Goodfellas like this is terrible no that actually went way better than I thought though I I didn't think that was gonna go that good scream all you want Murl the world has to be in court writing this all out I mean we there's a substantial portion of the party that can never know what just transpired or if this all falls apart are you talking about with the mural thing with the thing no no no with the thing that you and iron I just did I would say with a mural thing - yeah no that's pretty no no no do you think that malkus could tell Rodswell about oh yeah we just crushed this guy's skull with our bare hands and threw him in a fire and burned him oh no no no no this tells malkus tells Rodswell that Murl didn't make it that's all oh so I'm saying like there's like you don't deal a double-edged sword I like that okay okay Brianna is mouth agape just like this is this is awful this is a terrible terrible thing this is this is not good that like you guys wander into town and no matter how it happened like shit is on fire like literally like burning things are burning down and she's never cared for this town like this is this is yeah so did what do you what so malkus is pulling Brianna aside are you all right I'm fine I I I I'm not really sure how we got here nor am I that's the catastrophe malkus malkus is just like wiping his face with his hands I don't I don't even know if we're doing more harm than good at this point she's kind of staring at the brothel and just like it's it's smoldering contents well we should look at the overall not a case-by-case basis cuz I would say more harm today I I didn't mean to kill that guy I just wanted him away from you and I you didn't you didn't the fire killed him and we needed you to do what you did or iron hide would be dead right now look you guys need to get moving patch yourselves up go I'm going I need to head back to camp I Brianna what's keeping you here what do you mean in this land on this on this continent everything is collapsing all around us do you do you insist upon staying I I gotta believe it won't always be like this haven't you ever we're a catastrophe Brianna every day we're out here I'm at iron hides throat he's at mine constant constant questionable actions things I lay awake at night and try to justify and the longer we're out here the more trouble I have thinking that this is all this is all going to clean up this is all going to get better someday everything is crumbling all around us I think about some of the things I've done in the name of trying to solve this problem and it's like starting a fire to put another one out it's it's senseless um she's gonna reach out and and kind of like kind of reach for your hand and hold it you guys have also done a lot of good I mean don't get me wrong I I hated you for a long time we've saved a good portion of the Evergreen you've brought people's together that I never would have thought would help us and every day you're on the road you're I gotta believe you're helping us get one step closer to to making sure no one ever grows up having to worry about their door being kicked down in the middle of the night you're doing good work just keep it up malkus will reach out and wrap his arms around her and pull her in into a hug and hold her and just say I hope you're right and and she's just gonna like squeeze you right back um again I really ought to get back to Leora you have you have the amulet if anything happens just just I guess call me and we'll do the same if there's any change back home I'll let you know and I guess you guys will come running from wherever we are and she's gonna nod and then motion back to her horse and jump up on it and take off back down the street I guess that would be a good time to stop for the day then yep okay I like that better as a stopping point yeah that's a little lying down right there that's a little that's a little like that let's let's cool things down I needed that so we don't know some conscious conscience somewhere in this party we never set like a destination for our next thing and we know you guys can talk about it now though yeah I pretty much thought we were gonna go to motherfucker where is that place well you guys right yeah you can well to get to Donhurst you're gonna have to go through the dead to get to go on it you're gonna have to explain why you're going to Don Hearst and I don't recommend that but why not it's dragons real if you guys well that's this if you guys are going to just make your way east there are armies in the east you guys can there's a lot of armies there's like you're in like this this like the part of Tharia that's just kind of in the middle I mean you got here Alabama you have Alabama yes wrong place boy so you've been you've been to a terrible little town that doesn't mean it's all like that now directly to the north of you you have the orcs and then north of that you have dwarves yeah East East of that you have Don Hearst and then you you're going into dragonborn country Uminyero with the mages you have bright port which is this huge bustling city like to the south if you were to take the fork of the road and just go south like eventually you'll get to Esther Holt and Odessa places like that you have to go through the mountains to get there but yeah so it's up to you you guys got options what's in Dunhurst or whatever is that the place with the place where we can buy slaves this was the place with the slaves we're not gonna oh wait this is the place where we could buy the big slave army well own a call what that's okay okay good okay we'll have no way to actually transport them anywhere and also that's kind of what we're fighting against so you know getting an army I mean you can't set them free yeah we could as an army yeah liking glory with Denzel yeah here you go anyone who survives is free boom done the whole idea of buying slaves and then setting them free from the slavers I've always thought doesn't actually solve the slavery problem because there's nothing to keep the slavers from taking them back in when they find them again they just have a shitload more bling on them rather than yeah yeah all we've done is just like done all we've done is just like hand Hitler some territory then don't look at like okay well you hear us what the fuck yeah I got you now I'm the middle of the desert and the slavers are like oh good our business is profitable so is that's true so is there anything in Dunhurst that would benefit us like army wise so far is just as rude is yeah well Donhurst is a Donhurst as a larger town than then then turn hollow and it's actually fortified because they live so close to the orcs they've been attacked numerous times there's humans though no it's a mixture oh no it's a mixture of people okay every time zombie Merle loops on the board I put him back up there somebody checked him out really hard I was trying not to laugh at that like inching his way across that sinister face just if he comes back as some like half zombie half redneck half war forged enforcer hateful still just hates everything half this half that all hate yeah we came to somebody dying right yeah somebody died well except for that yeah but I mean like that was a freak accident this later the closest recently at least that she died in combat like it was all down to a roll it was just he was executed ah this was yeah this like for point of reference last last year at this time when we were playing um that was the one Duncan died oh shit well oh shit I know Malchus he almost died like it came down to like if it was one point higher on damage we've been dead just that was drach yeah that was true I mean draconis almost died in the vampire yeah I got bit by a vampire oh yeah he was out for a while he was being dragged along also yep I like the I liked a little bit of lore that like Draconis gets hopped up when this stuff and like he needs it to live but like he can't find the even like like so yeah just do you guys want to talk about what we just went through or just have it so it's like stricken from the from the books how do you mean all the awful things you just know I mean like explaining why it's like this is what we did but oh I yeah I will I already have something set up yeah I I just really feel like like what we did was justified because we walked in this town wanted to restock and then boy you realize what color you are and then this place started and then some of us almost died and then it was like this whole town's a piece of shit well you guys say the town's piece of shit I enjoyed myself I bet you did they interrupt good times oh the only reason the rise didn't stick around and fight was because you know he was only the impression that help was on the way so it was like okay well let's take care of this finish on her back god and the problem was captain laid-back was come in like dude stop this all right right you know I wasn't aware that he was just gonna be in like hey guys what's going on Merle well it's an old like picture like it's an Andy Griffith Merle knock all this foolishness off that kind of thing like it's not and he's going down in a row bit like he's never saw anybody get lynched in Andy Griffith well you never seen a miniature crush someone's fucking head like a grape the thing is though like he was trying he was trying it's a notable kill right there yeah oh fuck yeah that's a gruesome one too I don't want to come back to this I would say yes in that he was the lead of this the slave trade in this town and that was he's a notable person like that's yeah he's got a name that's you that usually helps out most people don't have to do he spit on me I mean Merle Richards is dead very very dead yeah this this is so dark died than any slaver would her favorite episode so far it was good yeah it was really fucking good I like this episode really I love it I know like it was it was like happy and fun and all that and then it took a very dark turn yeah just kept going depth kind of like it just felt well it did it did throw a big wrench because there are two separate groups of people within the group right now that have incidents that they can't speak of or else it makes no sense that rods well as with this group that's not good groups and that's the thing this is very walking days if one of those if anybody in those two groups mentioned what would happen I have to leave like I can't you know what I mean like it's how do you justify any of that exactly how does that as a good you know I'm afraid that like religious man I can't just sit back and be like okay whatever you just murdered Merle and robbed the liquor store we're cool you pretty much healed me I got back up and threatened someone's why do you go and steal healing potions which I'm not gonna get most yeah I was just I'm just I was gonna say I think I'm glad knowing that I think I'm now out of the idiot group knowing actually yeah you're the only other one who's free and clear on this oh dude no that means kicked off the island first I've seen survivor that's how it works the world's a stud are you kidding like you see this that's another thing I was thinking about it I don't think Roswell any problem with Thor going up there and doing that because technically in this world it's legal it's you know I mean like oh yeah it's the world's oldest profession it is it's true it also like to point out my hands are clean even if I was in the fight do you think we did go around back and yeah your hands are your hands are literally dirty like it's covered in skull and brain and that's the matter green stuff notable kill though worth it you can't have a notable kill and then say hands are clean man yeah well then I'll take the dirty hands for the notable kill tradesies I'm gonna do that what was that that was so dark like I'm just trying to come to grips with that like that's I'm Rob I'm so glad you suggested that for the end because that was dark ending the people the people need to know that malkis is not even though now this is conflicted I know it's selfish the reason you did it yeah and it's it's stuff that I've been talking about for a while just because of the ticking time bomb that we are and just like man it seems like every guy every time you guys get to interact with people it's the worst possible it's something I didn't even imagine what happened it's like okay I'm introducing during hollow and then it's like there goes fucking during hollow I guess it's on fire you know you decimated this small town I did I did know it was gonna catch on fire I had that planned out like the whole time while you guys are still fighting I'm like I'm gonna come out there and I'm gonna like this place on fucking fire fully lived up to our reputation I'm starting to see why Draconis is an exile like he's not like even his own kind don't I would like you know that fucking Draconis is the catalyst to a lot of this shit the start of the fight I was upstairs doing blow all right I didn't have a stripper and I got it on I just walk out and iron hide just getting gang-raped by everybody nobody's around by the way that is gonna come up in the episode yeah fucking a like I just didn't like the fact that I was like yen word is completely surrounded he's getting gobbled up with knives and it's like all right everybody get out of here it's like we can't he's surrounded he won't be able to wait they're doing 20 damage they're just throwing 20s down and we gets kicked out of window okay good enough let's go that all right everything it was good so here's here's my question if at some point the revelation arises that you guys have basically stuck up stuck up a business establishment and robbed it for your substance your substance addiction and your for your personal satisfaction at some point malkus might decide that some number of you need to be brought to justice and if you don't go in quietly it might turn into a fight to the death well that yeah you'll I'm gonna completely be cleared so you don't have to worry about that whenever the time comes with my probably next episode I see it's gonna be Malchus resigning to eventually the thing that gets me is that you introduced during hall fucking this episode like the critical hit was only remains gonna get like that the building is gone that made them the money but that in the new fall is the only thing that brought that tiny shit bird realize that the way they brought money in was slavery dog fighting with people they were everything that were fighting against it took it took us like what an hour and a half to destroy a town I think that's a new record the town is fine and the she destroyed it in two seconds yeah I like how like you say oh well that was you know we got to break a few eggs to make an omelet guys like that kind of thing and you're making it sound like it was all evil that woman okay look what she was doing wasn't exactly reputable I'm not gonna say that but at the same time she gave you an honest deal and then forged an alliance with you guys for a return business and then you're not fuck that and not only did you take them that you took you took any future business from her black market wise and then you robbed her on top of that because and it's not that any of you made any decisions that were like well that's weird and out of character like I believe I would do that like well the problem is that we all went there it like I walked up there with him while he did some blow and it's like oh shit there's a there's a bar fight and that led to I'm on the ground I'm almost dead from this bar fight I get up and say like this is fucking bullshit I'm gonna get something out of this but this place is nothing but like mm-hmm right though here we go we're going place I would I would I would reckon that Ironhide would reason it's like well look this is for the greater good I need to stay alive to get this mission done so you're gonna have to I'm sorry you're taking a hit on this when you taking the L give me those give me those potions it's technically I didn't threaten her she was still on that high of almost burning to death from the difference you threatened her I paid her you threw a coin at her face I paid her as well I gave her a whole another thousand you paid it dude you did the equivalent of clean yourself up when you fucking walk out like you yeah I did give her a last little threat here is is everyone okay with the stakes of if another one of these things comes to blow it's it's two characters deaths on the line because I'm gonna be I'm okay dying for what I'm pursuing are you guys okay with that being the stakes if malkus feels like he has to take you in and you refuse and he has to put you down well that's I mean that's not the case with me so we'll see you will find out you will find out all this has been justified oh yeah nards a sweetie I'm okay with that Rob I look forward to this episode it'll be a hell of an episode what happened like what happens when we find out oh you guys murdered him in a bush oh yeah I mean you were in on that I was I'm part of both of the groups that you guys are talking about are a bit shady I'm a part of both of like both both sides is something terrible and like the other one is gonna look and it's like man you I guess it was kind of wrong robbing what'd you guys do nothing at all both sides are guilty of something terrible malkus sees that as finishing off an enemy combatant but whatever wow he was prone in a bush do what's his name again uh in a sin city that just crushed that guy's face Oh motherfucker fuck what was the name Marv yeah I think so yeah I just murdered the guy with his hands just like oh this is terrible heads just vibrating Jesus jaw check him fuck you again also malkus feels slightly responsible for iron hides iron hides near death because malkus was the one saying like get out here let justice handle it and then you almost died so now this was like on the next episode yeah makis makis lost his cool there and said okay fine this is getting like we were deputized for but a moment oh look he's gone no one's going to miss this guy can I say something Jake oh sure let me let me say you have come such a long way from your debut of like humming a humming a humming it like saying like yeah blue like I didn't say blue no you didn't Rob said that Rob said blue but just screamed it ambush like I'm talking about like hey we're all these guys were wrongfully cute tell them how wrong oh well I killed a guy and my first ever experience I had no fucking clue what's going on but I'm saying you've come such a long way and now you're chomping at the bit to get to the next episodes like oh you're all gonna fucking find out like you you have like speeches prepared and stuff I like that man you're doing fantastic everyone is I feel so everybody is at the point where it's like I did nothing wrong like judging by how this town treated us like some of us almost died like yen word he was the first one that could have really died like he was at five health it was like I'm going down to healing potions and get kicked out of a window to safety like it was down to like okay they're doing 20 damage each to us wherever they swing or whenever they connect with us it's it's a lot of damage and there's like nine of them those red things were tough but you say look at you say look at what this town did to us I say look at what those slavers did to us like you have condemned the entire town on the basis of like a dozen people's actions I could buy an iron hide does it like iron hide does it is like you guys were harboring him so that and look for some sheriff did he came in there's like god damn it put him come on Merle hey I I'm saying like get the fuck down you bitches told you about that news Merle come on I I do not completely blame the town I I the Thor would not blame the town those are some very friendly whores Thor was just glad the building burned down because fucking got rid of the evidence the hooker he killed upstairs yeah kid on the way wait I did you a favor notable yeah fucking evil from the fucking or else Ava the whore that's the Tyler's note will kill for the episode what why are you trying to make that cannon that I killed her fucking put a sheet around her neck no that kind of thing though Tyler is the sole beacon of light in this episode the one that hit up the hooker no I think that's well it's well is also pretty clean I'm pretty clean I was there with him like when he was talking it's like listen we need to take these guys all deserve that shit clean yeah fuck Merle you said on me I'm like like the problem that I had was like he almost killed Ironhide and like now could still like well what justice reigns supreme you know let's let's have them handle it malkus didn't know that Ironhide had been like brought unconscious into the verge of death first of all and then this the second thing is malkus comes from a situation of facing racism like everywhere so he didn't want to like if malk the way malkus saw it was if he gets into that fight it's his word against citizens of the town other humans and it was gonna get pinned on him if he didn't take the route of letting the bureaucracy deal with it like that's why he refused to get in that fight I I do love the things like the fuck you do in your iron amount and you just like walk out of the building like you already know like it's like a high no the truth it is worth it there are zero stakes to staying in this building like it is one thing with a covenant vampires out in the wilderness who drink the blood of creatures and people to survive it is another thing when it's like I could be inside this bar or outside this bar I do not need to punch rednecks to be in this bar like it's exactly right when you I understand the fact that you don't want to fight and that's awesome like that's cool it's like you know it's like why start a fight but like at the same time just something that clicks on my head it's like you can't come into this public place why look at you get out of here it's like that's not good enough a reason and I'm walking in hmm yeah no I I appreciate where I don't hide was coming from again like that's like I understand what you were saying it's like everybody get as fast you can but like he was completely surrounded yeah we're was completely surrounded and the only way you could actually relieve that is jumping into the middle like what I heard I didn't he just start swinging they were stomping a mud hole in me bow I have another quick question real quick lay on me Dan's asking of group three needs a healer I have three they're fine yeah I got three I didn't know he could only can do like two heels what it's pretty lame we need a healer we need what not yes yeah I was almost dead I was like you'll have two heels what the fuck that's how many they give the heat to per battle is what they give the healers hit at level 16 he'll get a third one thank you healing checks and stuff like my yeah but then but also we're so a healer is meant to serve himself and four other players and we've got five other players so we are pushing his resources a little bit yeah yeah but not like a whole nother healers worth of resources is why it doesn't really make sense to add another one of them so I stock up on potions yeah you just kind of got us bring spare potions and two heels that's like seems really weak yeah I think but the next point we get into will have enough potions well I mean we all kind of have like a lot of health points if you could do as many hills as they want we would never lose would be no danger to us yeah that's the point of having a healer though well then in the good you know I think the game operated as intended somebody almost died today but we all survived we were at the edge of our seats and the healer was out of heels I'm sorry sorry yeah he did what he could it's just you know if we had if we had any more heels than that it wouldn't be you know satisfactorily dangerous I think so yeah but I but keep in mind I say that as a person who's profoundly at peace with losing malkus at any point in this because he's had a great run and I feel like any death he could have would be super poetic I don't know killed by a real shit in the middle of the night by draconian for some extra dragon root right maybe not poetic hey you're the one that said you're gonna fight me come on now yeah no it might come to that I don't understand what I did wrong I don't well you guys don't over there crushing a guy's face I just posted on Twitter and the buzzsaw continues across the area Oh crushers coming to town for what it's worth malkus would be more ashamed of iron hide let me go answer that I hope so yeah I was getting some information he fucking straight robbed that was hilarious yeah yeah you weren't you were less questionable than iron hide of just like also by the way this is a stick up give me your potions he was slick with that shit to jerk on this is gonna a fucking fucking spirit is broken that the that depends on who has a good role for insight that's true let's see who is just likes okay my my my my my question would be are you sharing those healing potions and at a certain point is the group gonna go wow you got a lot of fucking healing potions but that must have cost you a small fortune you know what it did here you go firstly I have to ask you question why aren't my healing potions in my bag I'll take care of that on the next session remember you guys yeah remember in real life I'm like a foot and a half taller I'm just saying justice you know where's people better like it there's no comeuppance for this group you guys just take and eat and fuck whatever you want that's why we're number one I foresee the eventual tragic implosion of this group like where where all of our where all of our ethical quandaries are just no longer something that can be ignored and it just comes that like and then there were three you know like at some point I think anybody is queen on this oh no nobody's clean again malka sees himself as justified but that's in malka's his head well hey me too there you go but even malka's has questions about what he's been doing you know like that's that's why I needed that seem to illustrate because like there's man like we are a catastrophe you guys oh yeah it's like we don't get those moments because there's no way that we can really actually look at and say like you keep my humanity in check yeah you guys need one of those characters you we need to find a nice lady war forged for you bring a scarecrow along I go completely insane oh it's you again scarecrow don't bother naming it oh man all right dudes well it was good um yeah man just wow it's just it was an experience so yes trust me the fans will love it so we have 20 potions that's how many divided by six that four yeah yeah three remainder two yeah I'm imagining you're keeping any extras mean you should just split the 20 of them and then nobody find out what happened no one else knows like at the end of the day he looked like it might be completely wrong compared to whatever gosh it's I made this for you but it's it's this town is a shit home we just we're leaving but we got to get whatever we can to save the continent you know it's not right probably too many people probably but I had a sword and I here's here's the one thing I like about Jake with Draconis is he isn't like no offense to Robert Justin if he does something awful he's not trying to justify it he's just like yep this happened very much open-shut book yeah he's a degenerate the thing that's hilarious because that's like exactly right like he's a degenerate we gotta do I'm trying to survive guys um thank you for all sitting down we got done at a really reasonable time - yeah fun episode you guys yes yep who would that have to is that a role that somebody's gonna have to check to see if I'm lying or not or I could do an insight check they'll forget by the time I mean for what it's worth malthus has not been paying paying much attention to the logistical like he's not just gonna notice if you have more potions he's just gonna assume that you went shopping at some point that's your own business yeah but I hope nobody games it's like hey we're sure all those potions yeah no but like I'm just saying like you're bringing back 20 potions that's not like hey I went and brought everyone a healing potion like it like that's expensive like 20 how much is one they go I think we've spent like 200 piece last time or 100 don't worry about it like that like you would have spent like 2,000 gold or so like at least like that's like 20 that's just that's substantial like I'm just saying and it's not really iron heights never done anything like that before well he's also not really died like that before never got that question I think it was a good call yeah guys I'll talk to you later thank you very much for sitting down yeah nice you guys have a good night - Yes.