Only the Strong

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(Coughing) (Cans clinking) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s**t. Um... (Clears throat) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you only got to cast aspersions at me.

From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Let's do that thing. Where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, starting with Justin. Hi, my name's Justin.

I'm playing Jarek Ironhide. I was about to say, you should have that memorized by now. It's Snatchful now. And Jake! Uh, yes. I am Jake. I play Draconis, Dragonborn Fire Mage. I just wanted to apologize to everybody because I have been the reason for a little delay for Group 1. But we're back on track, so let's do this. And Tyler. Hi, I'm Tyler. I play Thurl Songsteel, a human scout. Hm. No apology from Tyler. Okay, Tom. Hi, I'm Tom. I play Yanward Firesong, a minotaur fighter. And I'd like to apologize for Tyler. People listening to this aren't gonna know. That's true, actually.

And Robert. Yeah, fuck off. (laughter) I play Rorlock Rizamon, a consummate professional who is always early to the cast. I play Malchus Grimnus, Tiefling Warlock. Wow. Rob's doing shit. You know what? I'd blame- Fucking Brown-Noser. (laughter) I want my all- I want my all-brown M&Ms. Alright. Just say I've been here every weekend. (laughter) Um. I barely remember what happened on the last Group 1 episode, I'll be honest with you guys. Okay. Beta-Propan? No, I'm ready. I'm here. I'm ready to go. You guys are still making your way east, building an army. Now, last time- I don't need that.

I don't see that. Shh. (laughter) Last time, you guys helped out King Stonesunder, and you took out Sarn, the leader of the orc encampment. And more specifically, Yenward ended up getting the last hit on Sarn. Yes. So you gained- you're now allies with the dwarves and the good people of Donhurst. Now, last time on the show we discussed that you were going to hit Uminyuro first. Timeline-wise, it may make more sense for you to hit Orash first, because you're going to have to go past the Blacktip Forest and all the way around the set of mountains to get to Uminyuro, then double back.

I mean, it's up to you. You can hit it your way. Do we get, like- do we make a discussion, or are we just going to make it kind of like a decision right here? Just a decision. Just- I mean, it doesn't have to be a big discussion. It's up to you. I have both prepared, ready to go. Okay, Draconis is ready for Uminyuro. Oh. I said Orash. Okay, what about you guys? Sounds good to me. Which one? Uminyuro. Yes. It really- it doesn't matter what order we do it in. Just that we do it at all. Alright. I would say Uminyuro first, because I feel like we might have a slightly tougher time with Orash.

Split the party. There you go. Everybody's happy. Everyone's happy. Would you like to split the party? This has worked out so well. So, okay, I'm here in Uminyuro. Yeah. Alright. Shounok. So, it's gonna take you guys a few days to get around. This is a really rocky pass, and it's gonna take you guys a little while to double back around these mountains. So, on your way there, I'm imagining you're gonna camp out once or twice, and you're gonna have to stop eventually. So you're gonna get your rest in, so if you guys wanna give your characters a rest, come get ready.

Oh yeah, we gotta do that ourselves. That's right. Uminyuro is a large floating city just off the east coast. Getting there isn't incredibly hard. Getting to the edge of the coast where the city kind of used to be. Getting into the city is a little different. There's a large circular platform. Who wants to roll initiative? Or not initiative, but perception. I'll fight the platform. Fight that platform, everyone. Who wants to roll perception? Perceptual? Not me. That's what this is. I think that's Thoril Country, right? It might be, actually. I got a plus eight. Well, did I do it?

Okay. Is there seriously no one in this party trained in perception? Wait, wait. I don't think so. I think it was Rodswell, but you know how that went. We should kill him. We should kill him. Fifteen's not bad. It's not bad at all. It's not great. Well. Oh, wait till you guys hear about Rodswell. Oh my god. Sorry, never mind. It's... never mind. What are you talking about? He left to decide to go do his own thing. Yeah, I'm talking about this last episode. Fuck off. He sold you guys out so hard. We'll see about that. He did what? Yeah, he's a fucking scumbag. He's cutting you off?

Let's see. So, okay. It's totally not hard to see this giant floating kind of crystalline city. Like, it's very, like, kind of gaudy a little, you know, it stands out. Kind of shimmering. This is pretty much the center of magical knowledge in Theria. So if there's something going on out in the world, it's a pretty safe bet these guys either know about it or know of it, or could give you a lead in the general direction. Now, approaching, there used to be a bridge that led into the city. But that's kind of been replaced with this large circular base. Off to the side is this large kind of treasure chest.

And there's a sign that hangs near it. It says, "Place all your weapons in the chest to enter the city. Your weapons cannot be accessed by anyone but yourselves. You can reclaim them once you leave." So to get into this city, you're going to have to completely disarm yourselves. Completely your choice. Okay, so what is it? Like, we put all of our weapons there, stand on a platform, and it knows that we don't have any weapons on us? Yes. So, I mean, do these people... You're the one with the high history check, right, Justin, for Ironhide? I'm sure that it is actually...

I got a 17. Yeah. Ironhide might be the better one to make this check. Yeah. Because I was going to say... Coming from the city. I mean, we know Ironhide's the history check guy, so Malkus kind of turns to Ironhide and says... What? Do these people have a history of abusing this system against visitors? Oh, I have a 16 too, I guess. I have a 17. Oh my God. She's getting it back on very soon. Oh my God. That's 35. Oh, Mr. Kred. Okay, so after the Warforged, like Ironhide, were kind of booted out of the city, after new management took over, the entire city seceded from Theria.

It took off into the sky and that they installed this system. The way it works is that you completely disarm yourselves and this platform acts like a teleporter and it knows whether you... it basically checks you for weapons. Now, obviously it can't stop you from using magic and it can't stop... I mean, people like Malkus and Draconis, it's a little trickier for you, but you are teleporting into a city full of mages, like magic users. You'd be completely outgunned. The entire point of the city is the pursuit of knowledge, not violence. So... But we're in the right place.

Yeah. It's pretty rare that you would... that they would try to take advantage of this in any way. They're not trying... that's why they've seceded. They're not looking to fight you. They're not looking to scoop up land or... yeah, they have no interest in any of that. Well, I mean, we have to do what we have to do. We need these mages, right? Malkus takes his rod off his belt and drops it in the container and steps forward. I put my sword in the hatchet that I got from the orcs inside there also. I guess I'll Stormrender on top of everything else then. Can I like, kinda like, put my wand in my shoe maybe?

Just try to like, skate by? Or is that... should I just drop it in? It'll... it'll know. Okay, then I'll put it in the bin. I'll drop in my axes as well. Hate TSR. And your sword. Alright, so dropping those into the chest, and I imagine you're closing it up. If you all back up and step onto the platform, you'll be teleported into Uminyaro proper. Neat. Yes. We go! Yahoo. Kazeem. Alright. So, with this kind of blinding flash, like instantaneously your surrounding shift. And you're no longer standing on that circular base, you are standing on a similar looking circular base within the halls of Uminyaro.

This is... picture this huge decorated kind of a foyer type of thing. Like this is really nice digs. This is kind of what happens when people aren't worried about war or building an army, they're just worried about building up their surroundings. This is a place where like libraries are king. Picture that. Just huge walls filled to the brim with books and tomes and scrolls and anything you can imagine. I don't belong here. Also Justin's history check would let you know that these guys are anti-dwarf. So just to let you know... Why? Well, not that they are against dwarves.

What I'm saying is your diplomacy tactics of insulting people, probably not going to work so well here. That was just us adapting to a unique circumstance. We don't always insult people with diplomacy. No. No, not at all. Not Group 1. It just happened to work last time. This guy. This guy. So this balding gray-haired man in robes is going to approach you. And he's going to give you a deep bow. Hello. Welcome to Uminero. My name is Tamlin Crakehill. Is there something I can assist you with? We are here to make contact with your leadership. We have inquiries regarding the actions of the Overwatch and your position.

I see. I can take you... I can take you to Elenin, but the Warforge may be a problem. Malchus looks over at Ironhide and I assure you he is not one of theirs. Oh no, I understand. He came from the city. I know. As long as he wishes no harm against anyone here, there should not be any problem. Last time I remembered, I wasn't the one causing harm to your people. It was the opposite. There's kind of a tension building up. Malchus just bites his lower lip and just stands there. If you wish to take this up with the Archmage, I can take you to him. But again... I'm going to put my hand up and just tell him where is he.

Where's your leadership? Oh man. Very well. Follow me. And he is going to lead you through a series of these huge high-ceilinged rooms. And in the center... Justin, roll a history check please. Why not? The story. Pachano. 32, almost. Don't say it. 32 is fantastic. Ironhide would remember a lot of these hallways, although it seems as though they've done some redecorating since Ironhide was last here. These hallways ended up spilling out into the center of the city. It wasn't an arena per se, but it was kind of a makeshift fighting pit for the Warforged. They've kind of since redecorated.

They've kind of transferred this entire portion of Umenyar into this huge, great library. Now picture... okay. You guys go to Germany today. Sounds fun. Right. Some not so great stuff happened in Germany so many years ago. But let's not focus on that. We're about cars and beer now, and we do other things. That's kind of what's happening here. Umenyar has a kind of dark history when it comes to the Warforged, and they're kind of ashamed of it. And that's one of the reasons they seceded. They don't want to have to worry about defending themselves or anything.

So they kind of just wanted to get away from it all. So they booted all the Warforged out of the city, and it was presented as like, "We're giving you your freedom!" But it was a forced, like, "Seriously, they'll get out." And then they left. So we're still in this library, right? Walking right through it? Yes. Want to say to this man that you guys did some remodeling after we left, didn't you? Yes. I think you'll agree it was fairly necessary. Maybe treating us like animals wasn't so necessary. Okay, like, you are doing everything in your power. Start headbutting him, also, just lightly.

He's like, "Huh?" Just like, start chest-bumping his... Jesus. "So back off, man!" Put him in charge of diplomacy. I don't know. It's never going well, but... So being led into this really large open area, just full of books and to--this place is stacked with all kinds of magical goodies. Like goodies. So Ironhide would actually recognize the current leader of Uminyaro, and that is Aladdin Duskwalker, this older elf. And seeing--so, Clannan would kind of see Ironhide, and his face would immediately kind of twist up. And he's just kind of surrounded by this pile of books, and he stands up to partially greet you all, and then kind of like, "What the fuck is he doing here?" Kind of that kind of thing.

Gentlemen, what can I do for you today? Greetings, on behalf of the people of Winterhaven, the White Braverands, and the peace-loving peoples of Volitharia. We are interested in talking with you about the possibilities of your city committing troops to opposition against the Overwatch. We have no troops. We are not interested in war. Sometimes war gets interested in you, unfortunately. Which is exactly why we have nothing to do with the continent below. I would also like to know why he is here. Many points over to Ironhide. Dalkus just looks over his shoulder.

One of you? No, I said, "I'm here because I have to be here." If you're here to seek information, if you're here for knowledge, then I would be more than happy to help. We have no interest in fighting. How about this? Currently, they are planning to march on Winterhaven. It's only a matter of time before they clean up the center of this place, of this continent, and move right down here and shoot you out of the sky. Crashing down to the earth, you're not going to be so proud. So why don't you just shut up, give us your troops, and we'll do what we can with them.

Roll an intimidate check, please. I will. Ironhide's due for a sock party here soon. Almost a crit! Was almost a crit, Jason. I know, I know. I know. It's like his... I'll give you my money, but get out of here. So okay, Aladdin is going to take a step back, and several of the other mages in this corridor are going to peek in and listen, and you can see where they're getting ready to defend themselves, because that was aggressive. And I will remind you, you have no weapons. Just throwing that out there. That's my favorite part. When Ironhide gets us into a fight with no weapons.

This is exactly why you're not permitted to live in the city anymore. You're a savage. I made the way you made me. Being a savage is what I was used for, right? Keeping the peace? The people responsible for your creation have also been banished. Again, we have no interest in fighting, and I will not commit any of these people to your cause. What about... Malchus? Oh sorry, sorry, go ahead. What about material resources? Enchanted equipment, things like that. Could do a lot of good to equip the troops down below. I personally am not interested in equipping your troops for the cause of bloodshed.

It's bleed, it's bleed or be bled down there. I don't... do you think I sit here looking forward to this confrontation? I want to dismantle the tyranny that oppresses people and go back to living in peace. I'm afraid that's easier said than done. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead actually, that's fairly diplomacy-ish. I'm a reasonable man, he said. Don't finish my history. 25! 25, that's okay, that's pretty good. Great. I could give you some information on the enemy you face. I would imagine it's the warforged of Overwatch. It is? Come with me. And he's going to kind of beckon you into like a private... now, okay, the entire party is welcome to come.

I'm there. Okay. Alright, me too. Okay. This won't be awkward. And he kind of like closes the door with like a hand, like he doesn't even touch the door. It's like this gross display of magic, like these guys are all about like almost Jedis, like it's pretty, yeah. So it's just us and him in there? Yes. Time to beat the shit out of him. Geez. Remember, this guy is an archmage. The last archmage that was on the show was Uman Thermak. That like, you will not fare well. Especially with no weapons. He will push your shit in. Let's try to punch an archmage. As we're passing through the doorway, Malchus just turns to Ironhide as he comes up and just says under his breath, "I'm not going to ask you to stay outside.

Appreciate that." And then continues through. He's talking down to me. Oh, God. There it is. I give you that right. Alright, so... So Aladdin kind of beckons you all to sit down. There's kind of like, there's nice cushy chairs and couches and stuff. This is like a study type of area. How familiar are you with the Overwatch Warforged? As far as vulnerabilities or anything special above and beyond them being a fantastically numerous strike force? Not particularly. To know more about them, you'll have to know more about... And he kind of points over to Ironhide.

They were originally created for a noble purpose. To protect the city. We never had any interest in fighting, even to defend ourselves. The previous leadership here, a man named Seacall Loreweaver, he and Archmage Thermak designed the Warforged. They were intended to be guards. They used souls as a form of fuel. Each individual Warforged was imbued with a soul. They were given free will but had no memory of who they once were when they were alive. They were also created with aggressive tendencies. It was felt that this would help them in their cause. Eventually when the city was locked down and we could defend ourselves with ease, it was decided that they would be used for sport as a form of entertainment.

And they were pitted against each other. They weren't viewed as actual living creatures so much as protective golems. Many were put down this way. Eventually people like myself decided that this was cruel and unusual and we wanted to put a stop to the practice. We banished Seacall and Thermak and we decided that it would be best if all the Warforged would be given their freedom and exiled from the city. And then he looks over at Ironhide, "I greatly apologize for any unpleasantness you suffered here." "Killing my own people and being forced to fight them, and that's all you have to say?" "You have to understand that I was not in charge of the situation at the time." "And when you were in charge you kicked us out like we were just a mud." "You had no place in the city any longer." "We were born here, we were created here.

Who says that you're the one that gets to say that?" "We imagined that you'd fare much better outside of the city than within it." "Your aggressive tendencies had no place in a place of wisdom." "The police took no offense, it's how you were made." "From what we understand about the Warforged and the Overwatch, they were designed in much the same way that your friend here was." "The only difference is they're being controlled, they don't have free will." "There's a device within the Overwatch that they called the beacon." "From what we understand, it restrains the free will of the Overwatch Warforged." "Which is to say that they understand what they're doing." "They have full knowledge, but they can't stop themselves." "They're trapped within their own bodies." "And so if said beacon were dismantled, the entire Warforged army would know, would have lived through atrocities that they and their bodies had been forced to commit." "Certainly would seem a convincing argument to join our side." "That's if it can be dismantled." "We're positive it's being magically protected somehow." "It's far too important to come under attack." "We are exceptionally effective at dismantling things." "And Malchus does take a moment to like literally look at Yennhord." "I would imagine that it would take an immense amount of power, but theoretically it can be done." "We, unfortunately without some sort of testing, would have no idea what the effect of the Warforged would have." "But it may be worth looking into if you wish to fight them." "So you said you called it the obelisk or a monument or?" "The beacon." "Beacon, beacon, beacon, sorry." "This is, it is magically protected." "Did they manufacture the beacon themselves or did someone outside of the city manufacture it?" "Did they purchase it?" "We've kept tabs on the exiled ones." "Umin Thermak went east to Brightport." "We haven't really checked in on him in some time, but Seacall Loreweaver did head west to the Overwatch." "Apparently he was contracted." "To our knowledge, he is the one responsible for at least some of the construction of the beacon and the Warforged in the city." "So we find him, potentially we find answers unless he is not easily swayed." "He may still live within the city, we're not entirely sure." "While I do agree that you have a problem on your hands, I don't see where it's our problem." "Until they're banging down your door, that is." "I don't see how they would." "And he kind of looks at you matter of factly." "See, that's the problem right here with you mages. You're up here while the rest of us are down there witnessing what's going on. You're listening to the second hand.

They are, without your help, going to probably take Winterhaven. And then they're going to sweep out east. And they look at you as a problem, because you're an isolated island up there. They're going to shoot you down and deal with you." Do you honestly think that this is the first war Theria has seen? And after you deal with the Warforged threat, do you think the war will be over? Or will someone else just scramble to power and start this all over again? There will always be another war to fight, just not for us. Do you have anything else you can offer us?

Do you have any vested interest in seeing the downfall of the Overwatch that would translate into material assistance in this effort? I believe I've given you all that I can give you in this situation. If you have any more questions, I'd be happy to answer them, but I don't wish to give you anything material or otherwise. And if we were to return and wish to study perhaps lore or history here or something that we think might assist us in our endeavor? You are more than welcome to pursue any knowledge you wish within the city. Then we have no more business to attend to.

I thank you for your time. And you. And he just kind of nods. I'm going to get up and walk towards him. I'm just going to say one thing. I'm not sure if this is a check. We'll see. Say what you're going to say. We'll see. Okay, I'm going to walk up to him in a low voice. I'm going to say, you can look down on me right now. When this is all done with, I am coming back and I'm going to finish this. So can I walk away? You absolutely can. Is there any place that we can buy socks and bars of soap? I kind of want to run. I'd like to walk away too. Okay, so as Ironhide's friends kind of filter out of the room, he's still standing there right in front of Aladdin.

Roll an intimidate check, please. Intimidate? That's the one that says intimidate. Aww, eight. Good one. I don't know, kicking the stone or something. That'll show him. Almost a cricket. So this doesn't faze Aladdin at all. He's a little taller than Ironhide. So Ironhide, I always picture as Michael Chiklis body type, just kind of stocky, just kind of intimidating for sure. How tall is he? I don't know. He's like a muscular five foot five guy is what Ironhide is. Ironhide's 6'3". Is he? He's seven feet taller than his leg. Oh, no bone. Well, he's an elf, so he's like 6'6".

He's just real slender, just real, you know, but yeah. So he is literally kind of looking down at Ironhide, just a tiny bit. Please exit the city now. I'll exit right now. Kind of want to set fire to their books, but whatever. You can if you want. Would you like to try and touch this? There might be a book that can help us activate a portal, let's not. Can we roll like strength checks to yank Ironhide out of there? Sure can if you want. I'll walk out on my own free will if you guys want to carry me, that's cool. I'm cool, I'm cool. It's going to take a few of you because I am like 500 pounds.

You were over 500. I never said we had to carry you, we were just going to drag you. Just try and pull. Get herny, it's like ah ah ah, somebody help me, somebody help me. Pull the hammy guys, pull the hammy. So okay, go ahead. I was going to say, Malchus has one more thing too unless we're already out. No go ahead. Malchus stops at the doorway and he looks back at this guy and he says, I want you to know I understand you. It's self-preservation. You do what you have to to protect yourself. You walk away from things. Yet you can go through life preserving yourself.

You can never know when something is going to crash through no matter how many precautions you take. And in times like that, it is good to have friends. And he just walks out. Roll a diplomacy check please. Alright. Oh, the dice are hot tonight guys. 27. Nice. Aladdin's going to give you this kind of look of acknowledgement. You kind of pierced his armor just a little bit. And he doesn't stop you, but it does look like you've given him something to think about. That's good. I hope that one sticks with him. Are you going to do anything else in the city or are you just going to leave?

So you guys want to burn it or? I'm kidding. Can we ask around about the portal? If you want. I'd like to do it. It wouldn't hurt. The chat's going nuts telling us to ask about the portal and I'm like, well, it's not on Malchus's mind. So if someone else wants to take that line. Oh Jesus. Yeah, and we're just thinking about it. Okay. Well, if you're thinking about it, we can ask about it. Okay. Present somebody to me to ask. I'm just wandering on their halls looking for somebody like a lost child. None of yours. It's like looking for someone in a blue vest in Walmart.

I need help. Hello? Um, so you'd run into Tamlin again. Like he would kind of be waiting out, out, like just out of bounds of where you were talking to Aladdin. So he'd be, so Tamlin would approach you. Like you look like you have a question. Yes, I work here. Yes. Hey, okay. Um, I have a question. So say somebody has a thing and it's like a big circle and then it's this like shimmery thing and you put stuff and it goes other places, but we don't know how it works. Can you give us something to tell us how that works? Are you referring to a gate? Yeah, sounds right.

Please come with me. And he kind of seems excited. Okay. Um, he's going to take you to a stack of books. There's tons of books and parchment on this. I'm visibly intimidated. And he's going to kind of crack open one of these books and there's not a highlighted section, but there's a section that looks like it's been dog-eared type of... Here please read this. Very interesting. I see. I'm pretending to read it. Do a bluff check please. Okay. Let me find that. So you're doing the Wayne's World contract. So he's like, yes, I like what you've done here. Like you're just doing that.

Is there anyone else with him that can like take the book? Just knowing, just knowing the n-word. I'm not there. I don't think anybody is. I think it was just wandering. I think it was just Ynward. Like this guy's going to pick up on the fact that he's like, you didn't read that fucking thing at all. Like he's like, that's such a bad bluff check. You can't read. And he's going to be graceful. He's like, ah, yes. The gates were originally a means of conveyance. The only problem is only the strongest, most powerful magic users can afford to activate them without tearing their own bodies apart.

There are several scattered about Theria, but some of them have gone missing. We're still actually looking for two or three of them. Do you know of one now where one is located? Hypothetically, sure. Would you, do you know where I would maybe find some of those two or three highly skilled magic users there, Tamlin? Well it's, it can be a painful process for some. It requires a great deal of focus and energy. There are very few who are willing to try it, to be honest. And the fact that no one's traveled through the gates in quite some time leads many to believe that it shouldn't be attempted.

We do actually possess one within the city. Can I see it? And he's kind of suspicious just because of the way you're saying it. I wouldn't see a problem with that. Are your friends going to join you? Sure. I like to wave over my friends. Hey guys! I'm waving arms. There you are, Yenward. We should have tied a balloon to you. It would have been nice to like balloons. King Yenward fire stomp everyone! So guys, here's the thing. I met this nice man in the hall and I asked him about the portal because everyone but me came to forget it. And he's got some very interesting things to say about it, which I've already forgotten.

Nice. Samlin kind of looks at Yenward like, "Are you retarded?" Like, kind of like, just for the briefest of seconds, it's like, "Am I talking to a goon? Like you can't read and you don't remember things from minute to minute?" It's like, "Uh, like you're the Hodor of this group?" Like you're just kind of... Uh, yes, I was just talking to your large friend here and he says that you've found one of the gates. Indeed. We know of one. Well, we do possess one in the city, but they aren't the safest means of conveyance. That was our concern, which is why we didn't experiment.

Do... do you know someone skilled enough to open one? I... No one's coming to mind from Alcus. That you don't want to say? Like, no one that can open personally. I mean, I know Brianna opened it up. Like activate... I mean, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. Oh, that's right. That's right. We don't know anyone. That's why I didn't say her name because she only opened it for a second. Yeah, she just activated for a minute, yeah. We have an ally who managed to briefly open it. It requires a great deal of power or focus. She has it. Interesting. I would be thrilled to experiment with this further.

Perhaps some sort of long distance communication. If you're not comfortable with letting us know where the gate that you found is, then... We don't. Right? You'll never know. No kidding, I didn't say anything. I just like that Ironhide's being such a snippy bitch to these mages. He's so not... Well, you know, create somebody and then you throw them out, right? That's what we do here. Stone's Stone is sitting on a throne made of cow skulls. That's true. That's true. Yeah, you were also snippy to them, so... A little, but I let up. I think it could be negotiated alongside a support package for our endeavor.

Trades is... I would... I know you don't have the authority to make the decision. I'm just letting you know where we stand. She do have more authority than we... Well... Let me talk to Aladdin and see what I can do, but it may take some time to convince him. You know? I'm just letting you know that it isn't free. We have things to solve down on the ground. Understood. I... I'll speak to him. Is he gonna leave us alone? Malchus nods. Yeah, he's... He's... He's gonna... Like, he's not leaving you alone. He's trying to usher you out of this room with the gate. Like he's...

He wanted to... He... Well, okay, he didn't even take you to that, really, but like he... He wants to kind of usher you out of this whole area. Kind of makes you think that this area is important for more than one reason. Noted for later, but Malchus doesn't resist. This is kind of unrelated, but do they sell stuff here? No, this is not a city in that regard. Not like a bright port or... Gotcha. Yeah, this is not really... It's not so much open to the public. Malchus is more like, "Man, I need to find something out about this." You go there for knowledge, that's not...

That word being treated like hired help is like, you can't go to the rest of the house. Well, it's... Okay, some of these books are like the only ones in existence. Like, they've collected a lot of information. Oh, really, though? Yeah. How many people are in this area? Uh-oh. Right now, it's just you and Tamlin. Not in this room, but like this whole... City? Well, it's not a city, but this area. Yeah. It's a library. There are kind of tens of people scattered about. Mostly scattered, like studying or reading silently. Picture a really big library. Yeah. We could easily fuck this shit up.

That is up to you if you wish to try. Not unless we get provoked, and I don't see that happening. They're saying fires everywhere. That'd be terrible. Oh, this is one of a kind book? Yep, it's gone. No! All right, so he's trying to usher us out to like where the entrance is, right? He doesn't want us around the expensive books that could easily go up in flames. You guys have shown a propensity for intimidation. Okay, all right. And maybe a little violence? So he's trying to usher you out. You've also been asked to leave the city. Yeah. I'd say we've gotten about all we can get here.

Good. I left my food for thought with the leadership. Yeah. We got information and the possibility of eventually, possibly in the middle of war, getting more forged on our side if we take out the beacon. I think we got pretty much what we need. I thought that he was going to go talk to the leadership and then he was going to come back saying something. But yeah, we can leave if that's not going to happen. I thought he was going to go tell them something. He's like, "Oh, well, they have somebody here." He's going to work on it. It's kind of trying to convince him.

It's more, yeah. It's not going to happen immediately. If at all. So you guys are leaving the city. So picking up your weapons on the way out. It was nice to catch wits with a like-minded individual for one. He rolled a one too. So he's holding the book upside down, just sweating and stammering. Yes. It's so obvious. Like, "You can't read." So that was the part in the painting or that bit of artwork that we have where he's just like frustrated looking at this book. "Oh my fucking God, what is this? Why is there so many?" He's just reading the spine. Yeah. He gets so much information.

All right, so you guys want to talk about what just happened or just keep on the road? Because you guys got plenty of time before you'd get back to Orash. We can talk about it, I guess. Without a sailor impression. Sorry, that was mid-yawn kind of. So we can talk about it, I guess. That was not my accent, it would be. Okay, I guess. We're going to talk about it. Yeah, like first of all, how the fuck are we going to destroy this beacon with magical stuff? I'm talking about the people that are actually magically like shooting first and then we had to take down the beacon.

We need to figure out the nature of the protection and then we systematically dismantle it, preferably with a substantial distraction from an army composed of racists from around the continent. I think if we all just hit it really hard at the same time, we should do the trick. Cross the streams. Can we get like a scout in there? I remember we had somebody that could scout for us. That was the vampire. Is that still... wait, what? Oh, he's very dead. He's very dead. Yeah, I remember. Okay, I thought it was somebody else with the white ravens that could scout for us.

That's what I thought I remembered way back when. Yeah, it was a vampire that we could have had on our side, but fortunately. The scouts you know are the white ravens. Yeah, I mean, I remember when we first met the white ravens, we talked about sending scouts. We could send scouts in, but that was a long time ago. I don't clearly remember that part. Is that a possibility? Well, the ravens have spies in the city. Well, can we get some tips on maybe what the defenses are? You'd have to talk to the ravens to get that kind of stuff. Oh, fuck. Let's head back. I'm just saying, like, you can, but you do have to speak to somebody to get that information.

You're miles and miles and miles away. Just as kind of a bit, the white ravens have spies in Overwatch. People that may or may not have known that someone from the white ravens might have been held captive there. And what are you talking about? It's group three. Well, then why are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about right now. I'm trying to throw the later this year. Never mind. Fuck me for listening to the other groups. It's like, I kind of know what to say right now, but I'm not supposed to. I appreciate your team playerness, Tyler.

I'm like Jesus right now. I'm just saying we could know about someone potentially that would have known that, say, a certain leader of the ravens was there and would assist in making not shackle. What he's trying to say is that if we go back there and talk to somebody from the white ravens, we might know some more stuff of what they know about Overwatch. Which is what I said anyway. That's still the case. Yeah, but we're talking vague. If I would have forgot this $20 bill here, maybe you would be able to help us. Alright. Oh, fuck. Alright. Shit. Is it a substantial side trip to go and contact the white ravens?

Yes. Are we better off going to our next city while we're out here in Nott's? But yeah, we had to go travel north to Orash and then just travel all the way back. We gotta go all the way west. I just didn't want to exactly mid a game when I was asking my question. Yeah. In order to check out anything that the white ravens know we had to go actually. We don't have Zack Moore's cell phones. I wish we would. I might type the question to Jason in the Skype because I'll be much more direct. Yeah, please do. Jesus. Okay, I'll take it off of the thing so you don't hear the "dunk dunk dunk dunk".

Getting back to the game, I want to say, speaking to everybody, but more so to Malchus, I could have told you that we couldn't trust those people. All they care about is walling themselves up in the sky. I know, they have some learning to do. But we've left them an attractive offer and we might get something valuable out of them. We didn't get anything done today, you're correct. But we left them food for thought and that's all we can hope to get. I was about to say, we found a source that we can, like that we need to pinpoint, so I mean with the beacon.

That's a lot. Yeah, we did get advice. If nothing else, they're not going to stand in our way. Something. And I agree with Ironhide, when we get done, we need to go fuck them up. You're on your own on that one. Yeah. That sounded like you were buddy-buddy up there with them. Almost like if we actually did try to do that, you would step in our way. I really wouldn't, by the way. I'm just, yeah. Ironhide, when this is all over, God's willing, I will never see you again. And Malchus just starts walking off toward the next city because the wall was totally good.

You're going to start walking off to the next city, we'll use our horses. I'll eat yours. Are we clear of the weapon first before I leave? I imagine you guys grabbed your weapons. Yeah, we got our weapons ready. Figured that was assumed. Kind of assumed, like you're going to need those. So I did drop the call, did anybody say anything about me wanting to go to the White Ravens? It was more or less, yeah, it was more or less like when you guys get back you're going to be checking in with them anyway. But it's clearly on the opposite side of where you are now.

It's going to take you days and days to get back. It's not a thing where it's like, well, let's go back and then come back. You don't. We don't have to come back though. Oh, you're trying to avoid Arash. I'm just saying that we don't, like we can just get there and find out this information that's pretty important right now. That's what I'm saying. What you're proposing is you skip Arash. Draconis is trying to skip Arash. Just throwing that out there. I mean, I'm not saying that. That's God saying that right now, for some reason. I get it. He's trying to avoid it because it would probably not work out well.

I'm going to tell him that we do need the troops and if we could go to Arash that would help out a lot. I suggest we press on to Arash. We need to leave no stone unturned in our search for support. Now what are we trying to get from Arash now? Draconis the entire way just trying to talk us out of it. They speak, they're allowed to speak to red dragons. So if we can get only a couple hundred or a thousand skilled warriors and also a few dragons that would help out immensely. You know what would probably be really good at destroying a beacon? I don't know, it sounded like it had to be some kind of magic though.

It's magic with shield. Well you're not going to split it with an axe. This is something that's magically shielded and it's going to take a shitload of firepower to get through. Two things. Let me discuss your timetable because that's something that came up in the chat. Here is the current timeline. Group three is about a week in front of you. A week and two days. Most of group three. And then group two is about a day behind you as of now thanks to your trek through the mountains. So try to untangle that in your head. By the time you get back across Theria you will be in the same timeline as group three.

Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. And still a day ahead of group two? Well they're going to be recording next week so we'll see. I don't know how much time they're going to cover. Do they have anything to do with this storyline, the whole Carter and stuff like that? They have something to do with Carter. But we'll see what happens with that next week. We'll see. If I showed you the timeline, like the one I have sketched, it would... It's like a god awful looking Mobius strip tentacle monster. It's so... Yeah. You're welcome Jamie Lee. Alright. Making your way to Orash.

Don't be scared. This will not be pleasant for Draconis. Let me just throw that in there. Draconis just the entire time. Just like, you know, we really don't need to be here guys. I'm just throwing that out here. That is kind of happening. Do me a favor Draconis, roll a history check. Roll a history check? Oh yeah, okay I'll do that. You can fill these guys in on some stuff. Oh Jesus. Pretty good. 33. Alright. Here's what you guys now know about the Dragonborn. Draconis is going to relate all of this to you. And why we should not go. Okay, this is his pitch for why you should not go, essentially.

The Dragonborn live deep in the Hazon Mountains, like really in the peaks of the Hazon Mountains. And what they do, what they did was they constructed a city that is on various peaks of these mountains and bridging the gap are these huge, thick wooden bridges. These wooden rope bridges. It is incredibly windy all the time because you're up in the mountains and they kind of get this only with strong survive mentality anyway, so they live in one of the most inhospitable places for a being to live. Unless you're talking about the desert or something like that.

Like you could live out in the wastes and have a shittier time I guess with all the blue dragons and all the nastiness. This is also dragon country, as we've discussed. So as you make your way closer to the city, you'll see just you'll be walking in all of a sudden shadow, darkness. And you look up and it'll just be a dragon like hovering miles above your head. Just kind of like it is intimidating. The Dragonborn of course are a little crazy when it comes to their own bloodline and they will kill each other off. They'll kill babies. Until anybody who has a defect, something they consider to be a weakness, something that will drag the bloodline down.

Very spartan. It's all in an effort to kind of sharpen their genetic code. To make sure that whoever's left should be there. Now every once in a while someone will slip to the cracks or kind of get away with being different. Now that's considered the worst sin because not only are you fucked up and should be dead, but you lied about it. Someone protected you from it. So that's... Sounds like an asshole to me. Well yeah. Now the former leader of the Dragonborn tribe died years and years and years ago. His son Heskan took over as a child, which is kind of a deviation for them because while they they abhor weakness and children are pretty weak, they're also really honor bound so this kid was kind of next in the bloodline to take over.

So it's kind of they just kind of put up with the situation. It's like all right I guess we're taking orders from a child and they just try and... His right-hand man tried to lead him and groom him and try and teach him how to be a big strong strapping Dragonborn. Heskan made some unpopular decisions when he was a kid because he didn't really have the knowledge and foresight of an adult and he made some really rash decisions let's say and you may find out about some of those. Ahhh! Shut it down! See you guys later, thanks for coming. You did it! Son of a bitch did it!

Was that for Independence Day? Yes it was! Oh man I caught it! I have my mitt on. That's a beautiful thing. It is. Well you totally derailed me. So that's it. Heskan did some rash things. Yes. Yeah so that you may find out a bit more about that when you're in the city. Someone roll a perception check please. Okay hang on. Me and my plus seven here we go. God damn it where's my perception? Jesus. Alright well you do notice dragons kind of hovering above your head and that's kind of hard to miss. The n-word sees everything. Heading up this rocky pass to get to Orash it's kind of a steep climb.

It's really shitty. Think the journey of the seven thousand steps from Skyrim something like that. It's kind of a test to get to Orash to begin with. Just jump the whole way. Work on your athletics the entire time. So once you get to the top and there's a road that leads to the top but it's not a very hospitable road it's kind of shitty and you reach your first massive rope bridge that would connect to the bulk of the city and there are two very large dragonborn standing guard out front. Well before we get there I want to use an ability called disguise self.

Okay. And which makes me it changes my appearance. It sure does. Who were you disguising yourself as? Can I just can I do a different dragonborn like a generic dragonborn I don't know if that's possible. I don't know the I just want to look like a dragonborn but just different. Sure you sure can. Now you realize you're gonna have to roll bluff checks. That sucks. I mean it's an acting gig like it's now you know it's. Sure sure. But how many of these dragonborn have like met Draconis in person? Oh some of them would have. Okay so yeah. Heskyn specifically. Okay but not the guards.

No okay that's probably not. I was like well it's gonna get us through this scenario. Right right right right. But the thing is you are you are just trying to be a different dragonborn so it's not like it's gonna be it shouldn't be too tough an acting gig to be just be a dragonborn just a different dragonborn now here's the thing Draconis would carry himself different than the dragonborn of Orash. Draconis has a walk and a talk that's different than like if you listen to Draconis speak that is not how these guys are gonna speak like he's much more loose these guys are more militaristic more like stiff upper lip like back straight kind of like yeah like Draconis is a magic user to begin with so he's not a warrior he doesn't carry himself like a warrior so that would be where he fouls up if there's a there's a bluff check.

I'm sorry. Well we'll see man you never know. So let's see here you are you you just kind of look like a just a just a different like you just kind of give your face like reconstructive surgery and now you just look like a dragonborn just. Yeah yes I want to be I'm already kind of old as it is but I want to make myself look older a little bit older is that too crazy because I know they usually don't get too old they don't like you're old for a dragonborn like super old you're pretty old it might be a little bit old let's let's hold up. Say anything you may want to look a little younger.

Oh okay uh sure yes yes that's what we'll do. Okay no you guys same. He's a little just for driving on a skateboard what's up guys let's do this. He's fucking poochy. Who's that rad dude dragonborn? Let him out. Draconis died on his way back to his home planet. Draconis doing this and uh he says so what alternate name would you like us to call you for the duration? You guys should probably call me Chester. I like it. Is that Malchus is just kind of agreeing like is that an ethnic dragonborn name? My uncle's name you know it uh he was uh yeah Chester let's go Chester.

He sounds strong. All right Chester all right masculine name. We're going with it let's do this. Okay okay. Chester. I just I'm just wondering so so Jason is your perspective Jake has control of the canon about dragonborn naming conventions? I'm not I'm not I'm not going to tell him he can't call himself Chester. I like it. Well no I'm saying I'm saying are you going to judge that suspiciously? It's not. We'll find out. It it's Chester king of cheesy snacks. It could be Chaz for short. Let's cram all the movie references in today guys come on let's just do it.

All right didn't wait wait when it when when when when Brendan Fraser was confessing didn't he say he was a nerd and played Dungeons and Dragons? Yes he did. Fucking yes all right. I love Airhead. It's the best movie ever. I do too. That's fucking great. That fits right in. All right Chester. My name is Chester Dinklage. Oh god the listeners are just too good the listeners are too good in the chat. Chester's Jake's dog. And inspectors. You sons of bitches. Yeah. I can't believe they remembered that. Okay dedication. Wow good lord. That's pretty uh that's impressive.

That was episode one. Okay anyway there we go. Damn that's that is impressive. Well that's where Dungeons and Distractions came from. So there's a toss away joke that that Rob said. So now we have to call now we have to call Chacronis Chaz with two z's. Yep. You guys ever feel like we're the butterfly flapping its wings and causing the hurricane? Some days. Yeah destruction. Yeah. I'd say most days really. Are we getting into the city or? Okay. Because I imagine this conversation just happening right in front of the gardens. It's like oh. All right come on Chaz.

What the fuck is wrong with Chaz? Like the whole conversation of what should we call you? So approaching approaching this bridge these two guards of course cross their big ass full blades across from each other. Read your business. You're here to meet with your leadership and discuss with them about the potential of an alliance against the Overwatch. These guys look hard. Like these guys aren't fucking. Okay who listened to the last group three episode where they were starting the tournament of champions? I did. Okay. I'm not there yet. Did you okay well did you hear what it was like when they fought Dragonborn?

Yep. Okay. Remember that these guys are that's all they do. That's all they focused in on is fighting. So remember that when you're doing diplomacy checks and such just throwing it out there. And I want to make sure that I let everybody know ahead of time that they fucking wanted this. Just so they know. Whatever's about to happen they seriously wanted this. So right now we're in prison and we can't look like bitches. Dude this is very much like your first day walking out of the prison yard. Like everyone sizing you up. These guys that is exactly the vibe that these guys would put out you walking into the city of Orash everyone's just like sizing you up like all right he looks like a bitch I could take him like that's exactly what we just got to walk with our chest out and our chin up.

Yep. Everybody really likes your Dragonborn voice Jason. Oh let's hear yours Chad. Chad. Chad all of a sudden. Chester I'm sorry. Come on Chad. I'll have a different name every time we say something. Chaz is such a 90s name. Come on Malone let's go. So these these two guards are really eyeballing you guys and they're focusing in on Draconis. You I don't recognize you. It's been a while since I've been here. We need to speak to Hescan immediately. They're kind of eyeballing each other back and forth. Do me a favor roll a diplomacy check. Okay I can do that. It's not very good at it but I can do it. 13 13.

It's pretty nice. Y'all have a plus five I'm not too good in diplomacy. Yeah. What makes you think you've earned the right to speak to Hescan? When when he uh okay what am I gonna say yeah okay. These guys are scaring the shit out of me right now. All right I don't choke up in front of them like I just did. You don't show bitch in front of them? All right I don't look like a little pansy. I don't I don't my voice doesn't break I don't crack. Okay uh his life your life and every Dragonborn's life is in danger. He needs to hear what we have to say now. They would almost take that as a threat.

Wait what? It sounds like a threat to Yembrud. It's like I'm telling them that I'm gonna fucking kill them. Like they don't know how to take that basically you just said everyone could die but it sounds like like you know you could take it either way go ahead and roll one more diplomacy check. Okay that's just to see how they're gonna take that. Ready 17 there we go. That's a little bit better. Okay they're not taking that as you're threatening them. What's good I guess? Um they are gonna from what? These guys are so hard. The Overwatch. And they're just kind of like just kind of like grunting back and forth at each other and then uh he's gonna pull back his full blade.

You may pass. Hey guys I worked. They heard that. Malchus just straightens up his back and tries to make his shoulders as broad as possible for the duration of this trip. Okay um do me a favor walking into this city. Are you guys kind of like kind of doing the thing where you're puffing out the chest just trying to look tougher? Of course. Goddammit Jake. Gotta look the part. All right every one of you roll a bluff check please. Oh man. I'm not. That's my best one. That's the good one. I'm already gigantic I don't need to. I'm out. That's kind of true. Ironhide or okay like uh.

I got a 12 yeah I got a 12. Hey Jason uh how does a 34 suit ya? How's a 34 with a bluff check? Wow that's really you. Malchus's wings shoot out his back and spikes come out his face. It catches on fire. Snacks come out of his hair. Scary. I'm just like walking down the street giving everyone like finger pistols and smiles and they're all just like oh just like shake their hand at me like oh this guy. If Malchus is the cool guy in every early 90s movie. Sidles up alongside like a little restaurant and lights a cigarette for a lady dragonborn lighting up there.

Do I have to also do a bluff check? Yeah I don't think I should because I'm already kind of a badass. I don't think I should like. You already have. Ironhide give him one too they're not concerned with like. Yenward is the only one who would kind of get it passed because he would be larger than the dragonborn in the city. Oh shit that was a good bluff check. That's not bad at all yeah. For a plus four bonus that's pretty damn good. Three dollars. It's good. Twelve on the other hand. Yeah that's not good for me. Or ten. Did you roll a ten Tyler? Yeah I don't know what my why am I roll so awful today.

Okay they're spelling bitch come off of Thoril and kind of wafting off of Draconis here. Chester yes Chester. So they're just kind of like as you're strutting through the city they just kind of. Hey could we do something like. Malchus or me since we got higher rolls can we smack him in the back of the head and say like move it whelp or something like that so it looks like. Oh these are the people that carry their luggage. Yes let's further bitch us out. Yeah that's right I don't know what to say. It doesn't look like it's like why. As a miner they could hold your pocket.

Oh god. It is belt loop. Jesus Christ. Comb my chest hair. I'm saying like it wouldn't make any sense for like why are those two impressive specimens hanging out with these two guys right here. I mean we can we can try to like find ways later on to not look so bitchy I don't think we should like be publicly outed as bitches like in front of everybody. Start barking at somebody like arf arf. Just be DMX. DMX never sounded that hard he was like arf arf like his bark was always pretty bitchly actually whatever. Point being y'all gonna make me lose my mind. You know I don't think Tom didn't roll.

Because I'm eight foot tall. He's an eight foot tall minute tall. If a fucking sentinel has to fucking roll then a goat or a cow. That's the thing they don't look at you they look at you as a machine like it's like whatever like the fucking Jen was the only one among you who would get a pass just based on now let's say group two was here let's say group two was here in Jamie Lee's Goliath character with Jamie Lee we get a pass because she's a fucking eight foot tall. Just because she's a lion. Or that yeah. I'm sorry I was going to like like because is their tank and even he would probably have to do one.

Probably because he's not specifically tall or yeah you know he's pretty strong like even though he smashes shit he would still have to do it yeah. I picture him being four foot I don't know why. Four foot. I don't know why it's his little icon his little picture. So this is more this is more like again you're kind of like floating through this prison yard of a city and they're just more like I could fucking take him like it's very much like they're that's just instinctual to them that's how they that's how they size people up it's not like oh he looks nice it's like I could totally bitch him out in front of everybody here I could stab him so good like that that's what they that's what they see that's how their minds work.

Now that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to do it but it does give them some sort of physical. That makes them a bitch then. Okay well then call for initiative against the city of Orash. I'm just messing around. No. Let's see how well this goes. This is gonna go bad I know right now this is gonna go horrible. Nokus is just under his breath like steady. I'm not good enough at fucking bluffing for this to go well. You guys you guys are in a shark tank essentially like one wrong move and this could turn very ugly. So you're looking for Heskan. So well here's the thing Draconis would know exactly where he is like he'd be in the center of the city that's where he would hold court so that's like Draconis would know exactly where to go he could take you right to them if he wants to go there.

All right uh I mean fuck that's why we're here I mean fuck it let's go. Just waiting for Jake to be like I lead them around a building and back down the rope bridge and down the city. And we take the backhand exit and we're gone. High fives everybody we did it. It seems like we're leaving. You sure this is the way? Yep it's back west it's a big city shut up. It almost worked. All right so the buildings in Orash kind of look like a cross between tents and kind of wooden structures it's a weird setup. It's all in an effort to be just enough like this is not this is not luxury by any means like they don't have shops they make everything they need they they're very uh they're completely aside from the other races of Theria for the most part they they they don't need to communicate with anybody they go hunt for the food they need they go they they completely by themselves but that's by design they don't want to rely on anybody else.

So let's say they really liked you know a certain kind of food that only grows like they'd have to talk to farmers and negotiate that's weakness to them it's like well if I can't go kill it myself and get it because I want that for dinner then I don't need it I shouldn't have it. Um Haskin is standing right out in the open this guy is like king shit alpha male now he's no longer a child he's he's he's he's a full-grown adult but this guy has a swagger about him that like you can tell like if you didn't know who you were looking for this guy is this is the guy yeah looks real I want to point him out to him and be like well there he is guys go fucking talk to him. Haskin has a few ticks about him first of all he's a he's a he's a slightly darker shade of red than a lot of the Dragonborn and he's almost got snake like qualities like as he speaks he does a lot of head movement and shit kind of creepy actually if you're talking to him because most of the Dragonborn are kind of stout and steadfast this guy's a little smaller which would lead you to believe that either he's an incredibly skilled fighter or that they just honor that pact like that that whole bloodline pact so much that they won't kick him out of power or that fucker is really really cruel maybe all three yeah okay uh the malkus kind of just like leans over to Draconis and uh and he says any critical Dragonborn royalty protocol I need to follow should I like punch should I like punch him in the shoulder or something listen he's a son of a bitch okay you need to talk to him you need to be hard okay okay let's just do it that's all we got that's all I got all right I don't I don't what what's good no I was gonna ask Jason something but you go ahead first okay I'm gonna tell you listen I know I haven't told you guys a lot about my past but I don't need this I don't want this guy to find out who I am okay I need to say as little as possible okay understood things will get very fucking bad if he finds out who I am you understand that okay okay malkus nods um is is what's the what's the guards are what's Haskin doing what's the guard situation or whatever around him um this is more him holding court there's there's there's a bunch of Dragonborn ladies kind of kind of circular and he's he's kind of it looks like he's kind of telling them a story or relating some act of fucking awesomeness that he's he's done they're like clinging to his legs and things like that god just cut not like concubines but very much like he's like he's kind of flaunting the shit he's he is the shit here in the city like he's you know he can have his pick of whatever I imagine we all stand out like a sore thumb you absolutely do and he will notice you approaching him okay and again kind of this weird shit with his eyes where like he'll like narrow them and widen them and like he's doing a lot of like weird shit with his head like a lot of neck movement um but he doesn't speak first he just looks no no no no he stops telling the story and he's focused like dead on you take it you're Haskin I am and what may I ask are you doing in my city we've come to discuss the situation with the Overwatch if you have the time um Haskin is gonna start like surveying this this motley crew of races okay while it's okay Dragonborn aren't genocidal by nature they're not um they're not like dwarves where they'll they'll just pick on other races because they're different little things yeah Dragonborn do have very strong opinions about their place in the food chain though right um and warforged would be right at the bottom whoa what well the way they say it they were made they didn't earn anything they didn't work to get strong it wasn't a gene pool they pulled from they didn't they were they it's cheating they're like okay let me show how hard I can get you're welcome to try hot day oh fuck tieflings tieflings are right in there too because a lot of them make pacts with you know you know devils and shit to get their power magic ma any magic users would be shit to them that's cheating um the only one who'd really garner a fair amount of respect would be uh Thoril and Yinward because Thoril is just using his natural god's given ability to you know just be in shape and you know be active and be aware and then Thoril is just he was bred to be big and strong what so they would get they would get some respect uh Heskim would not be treating um he would not be treating uh Ironhide or uh uh I almost said well I don't hide or malkus with too much respect uh and he's he's gonna look over Draconis or Chester he's Chester now you are not from our clan what is your name my name is Chester do not speak Chester he is my property by the way that was so hard to say without laughing trying to say it like Chester by the way I am Chester um do me a favor roll a bluff check okay this didn't take long wait uh Chester or me Chester oh Chester roll a 22 I like that it's a good number it's a good number it's a bit solid I like it okay so you're telling well actually I guess malkus you got a roll a bluff check too for calling yeah yeah I'm I'm pretending he's my property pretending he's my bitch I thought we were not doing that what the hell by 37 that's pretty good though it's almost Jesus by the way Jason what is your heskin sound like scar from the lion king I love scar from the king if I could make carter sound like scar from the lion king I fucking would that's that's that's exactly the that's exactly the tone and inflection I'm probably going to be using when we do group two because that is scar is carter that's that's anyway 37 bluff that's amazing yeah that is so has can completely buys that I'm a bit you're you're his bitch you're fucking great his skin is going to eyeball Chester like he is fucking scum you would let yourself be dominated by a lesser race it's none of your business sir while you are within my city it is my business why are you speaking to my property hassens gonna kind of do this like imagine a cobra like you get a cobras attention and it like snaps it's it's almost it's fucking unsettling is what it is like he keeps doing these yeah so he just like widens his eyes and like snaps over at malkus what is it that you want what are your views of the overwatch and their activities they're conquering their tyranny do you support it do you do you care are you against it we see the warforged as an abomination the overwatch themselves we could care little for but you would welcome seeing their warforged army dismantled yes we would welcome seeing all the warforged and he kind of leans in like real hard looking at iron hide all right um good speak up to say so you think we should be property and then dismeadled afterwards right we think you shouldn't exist at all i think we can't hack it in this world is that it um that's very close to an intimidate check that's very close how about if i do something else okay i'm gonna whip out my pistol and now i want my shots no what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna take out that hatchet and just open my chest up a little bit wait what get stuffy in here i'm just gonna just gonna open my chest up a little bit like how the ores did before me oh you're trying to cause damage to yourself to show how tough you are yes huh that's okay no that's an intimidating check i guess like you're trying to like huh it wouldn't be endurance no it would be an intimidating that your end goal is to intimidate him right no he's he's trying to like impress not trying to make he's diplomacy just i think that's kind of like trying to persuade him like look see okay what is the end goal tell me what the end goal is showing that we're not pusses or am i french just showing that like check for him well that would be diplomacy i guess in a weird way i guess diplomacy sizing with the dragonborn yeah dragonborn yeah like yeah it's probably gonna suck because i thought it was gonna be endurance if it were anything else it'd probably be an intimidate check but with the dragonborn it's like look okay i'm not a bitch either all right here we go eleven not this is terrible owie owie owie i forget that i'm made out of metal and i can't cut myself so i'm just so you're just saying so catch it works so okay so in the midst of this conversation you whip out a hatchet and just start chopping at your own chest it was supposed to be more manly but the way you're saying is not okay well makes you look worse go flying maybe you look a little more crazy than manly um all right okay that's your time you think we can't cut it is this what you want tang tang tang um heskan is not impressed with this display sounds like a hammer hitting an anvil but he does kind of like he's like when you whip out the hatchet like he kind of like he kind of like steps forward like you're oh it's like oh yeah you want to fight like and then you start hitting yourself he's kind of like taken aback for like half a second like the fuck i think that should give uh ironhide like a plus two or something to like future intimidate checks he's like he's fucking nuts he will hurt himself like he learned something from the orcs that day that is an excellent intimidate tactic so heskan the fact that you'd carve into yourself does not impress me in the least warforged you feel no pain at least not in the way we would back to the situation at hand so that's a thing that happened and just kind of like take the look there was a lull of silence i'm taking control here um would you and your people welcome the opportunity to dismantle the warforged army on the battlefield alongside the other races of faria you have not earned the right to us to earn our assistance i'm not however thank you so you're just like cutting him off do what you want to do anyway alongside allies and what makes you think we would need allies because if you didn't you would have dismantled them yourself by now while we disdain the warforged they're not our problem the warforged are everyone's problem heskan how about this and he's kind of like he's kind of like taking a step back a show of strength i'm just gonna say there's a fight that's about to happen if you best me and my right hand man in combat you will have our assistance just myself or myself in my party you may choose one among you that's young one two on yourself yes now this turns around and looks at his party um heskan heskan's gonna speak up may i suggest allowing this dragonborn some shred of dignity within our city allow him to fight by your side can i speak up got an idea why don't you just fight the dragonborn yourself don't call on other people to fight your battles hey great idea ironhide his his eyes heskan's eyes go wide i would be more than happy come on you can fight him fireball man right and he's going to he's going to he's gonna he's gonna snap to chester would you agree to these terms i want to walk up to him just a little bit closer kiss him freak him the fuck out and i want to look right down spit right at his feet tell him let's do this uh textbook group one all right and by the way thanks ironhide for getting me fucking killed let's do this oh come on dude you can take me i'm telling you we need to find a shop that sells socks and bars of soap that's that's twice today one day ironhide's sleeping and we just fucking hold him down and just start beating him bitch you're the one that sleeps i don't that's true actually yeah shit yeah i'll put my dick in your mouth wow i learned to like the dragonborn man actually ironhide doesn't have well i'll just find one on the street they're really sick with dalek i don't even know what to say to that it's i'll put my dick in your mouth it's like what the fuck we skipped some steps not long all right um malch is at least going to keep up the act of uh of of what he's established and be like um excuse me um he looks at he looks at draconis aka chester and just says loud enough to make sure haskim can hear if he breaks you you weren't a good enough servant anyway thanks can i do some kind of check to this guy to see if he has a weakness uh sure go ahead do i um do a perception roll isn't he king of a society without weaknesses yes kind of yeah well i mean they they can't challenge him they have honors so oh no once this fight starts this is a one-on-one fight to the death i'm just saying like nobody can look at him and say like well you're not leader i'm going to assassinate you because that's not their style and depending on what i see i'm going to tell draconis like if like you know if there's a weakness or not perception go and roll perception no he's got eyes work for that do something pocket sand shisho so dragonborn well i mean fucking draconis would know about dragonborn anatomy i'm like looking at him and seeing if there's a tick to him or like oh there's lots of ticks to this guy he looks like okay where a lot of dragonborn would be very you know again stout and steadfast heskan looks to be very reflexive and and kind of it's very tough to tell what direction he's going to strike in very like he looks to be like kind of lean and cut throat looking um speaking of throats on the dragonborn body if you're gonna go for something the throat would probably be a good spot like a solid punch right to the throat maybe a punch to the throat so you want me to punch from the throat i can go punch him in the throat it is something you could try that is something you can totally try stun him for a turn you may if you were to say melee basic attack him in the throat you would take a negative two to the attack because that's kind of a very specific place to strike but if you were to hit you would stun him i don't know how good my punches are i'm just gonna say that okay kind of a but if he's stunned that means he does nothing on his next round i'm just throwing things out there but okay i would advise you not to let him get close well that's yeah that's yep okay yeah don't let your face fake your fake never mind yep don't let you don't let your fake face so so give me give me idea what is what is surrounding us what is going on are we it looks like we're in a circle here are we like in a chamber are we like what are we this is we're in the middle of the town this is yeah this is something called the pit which is um this isn't these aren't very high walls at all this is like a like a foot and a half high something like that so it's something you just kind of climb into and it differences are settled um this is something they do a lot so if the party wants to surround the pit go right ahead now henskins right-hand man is named carrick and he would kind of be floating around in the in his corner as well oh it's it's draconis now i will say that as an option you guys could try to stop this at a certain point if you see where draconis is completely or chester is completely in over his head and will die because henskin will not hesitate in finishing him got you this is not a thing where they're fighting to oh you're you're wounded let's stop no no this is to the death all right just to make sure things are very clear um like jessie in the chat yes kiss him um all right uh i'm gonna add you to the initiative tracker go ahead and roll initiative there draconis oh that's what i live for oh awesome fucking good all right just okay 15 16 i'm going second all right before this starts can i do something sure okay now everybody's around everybody's doing their thing okay well before this little thing goes down i want to remove my disguise oh shit reveal who i am and i we're kind of across the little pit here so i want to be yelling this across the uh across the pit i want to ask him if he remembers who i am um henskins eyes go wide like there's a definite look of recognition on his face uh and then he grips his long sword and unsheathes it very very slow very determined to enjoy cutting into you oh that's pretty hardcore jake i gotta i gotta hand it to you that's i like that um and then he says something in dragonborn says freever perfect lin oh that oh that's what he's gonna say to me right now which loosely translates to next in line oh shit so he's next in line to be murdered i think is what he's getting oh i thought you meant like for the throne well besting their leader in combat you never know like that i want to scream across to him you're still a fucking child in my eyes you're a weakling draconis you should have never returned to this city and he is going to close the gap between you delma's picture looks like he's got tits actually that's what's gonna be my first move i was gonna say that yeah that's he's gonna try to use hurt feelings uh and there you go hold on geez how many times you're gonna roll yeah well how many oh it didn't target him the first time okay 19 we'll use 19 is that okay he will miss you you hit him so that's how no because usually it targets it didn't give me the targeting this time it just rolled that's whatever okay uh your turn draconis he is going to swing wildly with his long sword and miss you fucking pansy okay so i cannot move away from him because i'm right fucking beside him now that worked out you can shift can i shift and then move yes but then you can't you can't use a move unless you pop an action point to use fireball okay i'm gonna well he's right in my fucking face now what do i need to do to punch him does that count as a minor no that counts as your move fuck i'm not using i can't do that over my moves man i can't i'm just giving you the option yeah i can i definitely can't all right oh god it's only a plus five so it'd be a plus three if you use that to target his throat so don't do that yeah that's that's a terrible idea okay don't do that i'm gonna hold both my hands out each one of my sides and i'm gonna conjure a fireball shit directly in front of you that's gonna hit his body guard i think that'd be funny it's gonna take up uh okay my mouse isn't working right because it's a fucking laptop all right well basically he's in that fire blast just picture he's he's the yeah him that's what you're targeting yes yes i am gonna change my mouse and here we go i'm rolling for his attack and it's not rolling oh shit um okay i also see your blast there was a huge lag okay yep there they are that's cool so use the highest one right is that what we're doing 21 yeah that's what we do dude that's what we do all three of those all three of those would miss oh there you go put them together you got one but he does take half damage so yes go right ahead he takes yeah half takes half of 17 yeah so all right so all right let me remove these things here because they weren't showing up on my screen that's why i kept doing them it's all good it's all good oh yeah it's like blank no the circle i think i've figured it we'll talk about it after we finish it yeah dude absolutely um he's gonna use his long sword again bet he is that's a crit oh good fuck him fucking shit you're weak jester um 34 damage god damn 34 damage so that takes half my life away in one hit correct is that what you're telling me that that would be what i'm telling okay that's good okay i'm a lot of bad idea but yeah i mean you know you just kind of it was good idea at the time though when you said it though right that seemed pretty good all right i'm bleeding that's good uh if you break city bison draconis your turn okay i'm gonna use uh expeditious retreat you can shift up to twice your speed so my speed is six so i can shift up to 12 clean to the other side and i'm gonna do that oh you're you're just leaving the original trust hey this is acting a little weird right now i don't know what's going on there we go oh okay um i'm gonna use an action point okay and i am gonna use an ability i haven't used before i'm gonna use blur until the wait a second expeditious retreat is a move correct uh yeah but he's using his uh right but wait a second move action okay you're right no i don't need any so you still you still get an attack yeah okay i don't need action trying to help you man trying to help you works out all right i'm gonna use blur which until the end of the encounter you gain plus two power bonus to all defenses and you gain invisible uh and you are invisible to enemies five squares away or more from you oh wow that is a definite bonus to draconis jesus bonus to jakon is like yeah that's i do like that so plus two to all of your all of your defenses and you are invisible yep and i'm going to pop an action point okay and i'm gonna use wall of fire and i'm gonna throw it down right across the middle of the uh battlefield thing here this the pit all right isn't there the other uh fireball that's active no the burning stuff no that one doesn't think anything geez shit does that hurt jakonas if you pass through it or no i think it hurts anybody oh no although the dragonborn have a resistance to fire so it works out right yeah it works perfect he's he's a dragonborn too who said the leader of the dragonborn is a dragonborn i i was gonna say you might want to put it at least one square more because i think even though you're i think technically the uh his right-hand man can see you yeah but that's no well yeah but he's not allowed to interfere okay well i didn't know if maybe he was going to try to play dirty or not he looks like me the honest with you jakunas is playing dirty okay let's let's be clear like he's he's yenwarding this boss fight like this is yeah single fucking potion i don't have potions exactly he took him away from him all right how am i getting word in this fight this seems to be pretty strategic yeah yeah yeah he's using his abilities he's not downing potions like some kind of pussy some kind of bitch wow wow strong opinions about yenward um no no what i'm saying is to them it's supposed to be a fist fight and you are you are ropa doping this guy you are his fucking sword in his damn pocket that's where you put that's exactly where you get swords the adjacent can trip over each other fast enough i know i was waiting to use that line too about time i could see it could use sheath or scabbard or fucking whatever it doesn't matter holder would have been acceptable no just go straight to pocket okay um so you're that'll be the end of your turn uh yeah hessger okay so hessgen's gonna witness all this and just coward like this raspy and just like fucking you piece of shit um what is the damage for walking through the the wall of fire the wall of fire i don't think it's terrible let me see it is um we'll take a 1d6 plus intelligence modifier damage all right so they have a so he has a resist five to fire um he is going to charge through to the other side i don't know what my intelligence modifier is okay uh your intelligence modifier should be let's see here let's deets deets five five looks like five so whatever his just roll a d6 yeah whatever it is plus five so seven okay so he's only taken two good okay so two damage he's gonna got him got him right now he obviously could not see you on the other side so he just kind of charged through to get there and now he can see you because he's close enough so he's going to use his second uh his second move there to close the gap and it'll be your turn again so traconis that basically bought you a turn it's kind of good but that that is persistent right that like if you're five spaces away from you he can see yes yes all right so that is that is useful yep okay i didn't plan on getting up to me all of a sudden this quick but okay let's do this i'm going to there's no use for me to shift because he can still see me and if i shift move he can still i can basically just run around he can just keep chasing me which that does not that's not gonna do anything remember he has a soft throat yeah so i can start punching him in the throat yeah if you like to try i am going to let me use my fountain of flame okay and this is burst one within ten so i'm gonna cast this right here okay and this is gonna stay on the map by the way okay but that fire is gonna stay there this whole goddamn fucking pit is gonna be on fire it is burning this bitch down 27 for uh reflex oh absolutely that'll hit okay and he's gonna take uh well okay hold on 22 damage okay and this is the one uh any enemy that enters the zone or ends their turn takes five fire damage so uh ongoing uh no it just says who enters or ends their turn will take five fire damage okay okay all right well there you go so at the beginning he has a chance to move i guess so yeah all righty okay so i'm about to die here in this one hit that's probably what's about to happen could be bad like he has a resistive fire but you're definitely putting some notches in him like it's it's yeah i i've planted out so well that if anybody tries to come save me they have to run through fire to come save me so you have ice storm wouldn't that help uh maybe i don't know we'll see if i can survive long enough to maybe do something all right uh he's going to rear back and try and breathe fire on draconis that is a 25 to your reflex uh yes that does hit but okay so this is kind of him fire stuff too i would imagine okay yeah still hits it still hits yeah it still hits um so this is kind of him showing it's like oh you want to fucking play with fire asshole like he's trying to show that how how big uh it probably doesn't matter but i have plus one to my attacks when i'm bloody so does that mean he takes one extra damage i don't know if that matters well it's plus one to your attack okay never mind yeah but good to know yes um so let's do damage here 27 damage now i imagine you have a fire resist let's see resist resist cold five yeah makes sense right interesting very interesting so he's got no fire resist and he's part dragon that seems weird like shouldn't that be like a passive like a racial passive you'd think not me not me motherfucker not me he's a weird dragonborn dude okay he's a weird dragonborn anyway so you're taking the full effect of that that's 27 good that's nice i'm hoping you have a teleport or something i kind of already used it well it's your turn yeah i got four health um so your teammates can see you're doing badly they can see i'm not doing too hot yes jake would you want the towel thrown in because i'm ready to do it even like probably even if you don't want to i don't want to see me asking his moot what i'm saying i didn't plan on him i thought my blur would be a little more effective well if you get away from him again it would be but oh shit i didn't move him fuck all right well he's taking damage yep that's right that killed him how much is he bleeding is he bleeding how much damage does he five five one all right what is your konas you're giving you're being you're being given a pro tip in the chat i'm giving a pro tip huh i don't i don't like pro tips well you're forgetting something you bought all right i see what they're saying but i don't i i mean uh hold on a second let's look that up i i mean that would be really handy dude robe of contingency holy shit use this power while you are bloodied and when an attack damages you teleport six squares and you spend a healing surge dude yeah i mean it would but somebody called that out it's kind of i i'd consider that not cool really you're gonna die let me take a let me take a page from merlin do you want to live yeah okay then that kind of settles that okay okay i will do this since he just damaged you i'll let you do it like it's yes because you still take the damage either way okay it doesn't say that you don't take the damage so i'm gonna shift six six okay okay now that also that means you have a plus four to your ac right now plus two to the rest of your things and plus four days okay yeah okay and i gain a healing surge right yes you do so yeah pop a surge i'm gonna pop a surge it's just it says eight so i assume that means i gain eight no no that's uh well just hit the plus button and use surge oh wait you have a thing being a dragonborn hold on a second hold on dragonborn thing draconic heritage add your con modifier to your healing search value two hey two hit points is better than none hit points all right so i get uh 18 okay all right i'll buy you a little back up to 22 and like so that doesn't count as like me doing a move right no no that was his turn nope that was like uh that was like doing his armor in okay three of course you don't listen to him um here's what we're gonna do so he has no clue where the fuck i just went by the way no you just blinked out of existence i just blinked okay and i am going to use oh no can't do that that's not that's not gonna work how high did you conjure this wall it because i believe you get a choice it's pretty tall well then that means it's gonna block line of sight for you i'm giving you a chance to say that it's only like a you know like five squares high so that you can see over it i can see over five squares well what i'm saying is like it's that wide that doesn't change the width of it what i'm saying is that i'm sure i can see yeah i can see over okay that's the thing because he'd still have to walk through it and he doesn't have any range to text so it would benefit you not at all to make it any higher so i'm just trying to give you the choose to use common sense yep that's what we'll do then okay all right i'm gonna use uh ice storm okay see if he's got any fucking cold resistance all right and this is a burst three within 20 squares so basically this is gonna be like i'm just gonna hit right there boom let's make it let's make his little buddy on the outside cold and the attack 25 fortitude that will hit yeah it will and the burst effect creates uh the zone difficult terrain so and it lasts till the end of the counter so that's difficult terrain over there now okay yep and here's the damage fucking that's awesome 11 okay 11 terrible it's a free hit practically there is you have bloodied you bloodied has bloodied hesskin huh okay now since nobody can see him could he drink a potion i mean i don't have any but i could well the other dragonborn around him would i don't have any anyway so don't ironhide really should have divvied up those potions nobody wanted him i mean i was there usually ironhide has 20 potions he's sitting on i'm just everybody gave the uh gave the uh the word like it was like no that was ill-gotten potions not mine technically the right-hand man wouldn't see him though either because he's more than five squares away yeah but the other dragon yeah the uh he's close to the edge though okay so okay to recap you're using every trick in your book to keep him at bay to keep him okay technically right now you're invisible to him yep um okay this is all abilities though it's not it's not like he's being tricky i'm being tricky but i'm being tricky with my abilities yeah right but i'm just using magic as cheating to them like that that ship is sailed this is not honorable combat but they it's a little different than the the i'll explain later i'm gonna melt his fucking face off we'll see what the matters uh that would be hesskin's turn so that's difficult to reign so that means he's going to have to use a move action to get out of it and then uh he would be able to see you fuck and that he's gonna take now since he's in the place does that mean he takes any fire damage earlier no that he has to end his turn there um he will have to fucking get through this goddamn wall again which means he's taking more damage so go ahead and roll roll for the wall again all right it's plus oh wait okay it's that plus five right nine no so he's gonna take four damage okay okay uh all right oh fuck i know what i should have done uh traconis your turn i should have popped my fire shield i would have helped out a little bit right there but there's no right minor personal action you can resist for when he did his fire thing to me further but whatever um anyway um whatever creature wait wait wait wait wait wait wait whenever a creature makes a melee basic attack roll against you it takes 2d6 plus your why the hell aren't you doing that because i just saw it kind of i i don't i don't usually get attacked in fights that's why i don't usually use my defense stuff yeah so you might want to do that i'll pop that for my minor yeah i'm reading this other okay okay here's what we're gonna do this is gonna be dumb but i am gonna use uh dragon breath i'm gonna reach out and i'm gonna grab i'm gonna grab them both like grab them by the head and i'm gonna fucking just breathe fire straight into his face well okay you get a that would be a check to grab good fuck it let's do it what do i gotta roll 20 uh well okay if i don't do it let me guess i don't do the move is that what you're saying well no i mean you can still do the fire because you're not moving anywhere so well that's a standard so that would be more like you're deciding to either breathe fire at him or you're deciding to try and grab him oh i can't do both okay all right well just fuck it i'll just breathe fire in his face then we all get the imagery though good because that's what's about to fucking happen all right here's the attack okay that's good uh 14 versus his reflex is gonna miss maybe maybe no i'm telling you okay so yeah yep okay so let's and he starts his turn next to the wall he takes damage oh wow yeah i think he takes more damage since he starts next to the wall let me see he's let's see extra yeah 3d6 plus intelligence yeah and then not a jesus wait well wait uh did you also for the fire uh for the dragon breath that's what you used right yes did you also uh put in the uh plus four it's my that defenses is the plus four the defenses oh sorry no so he's harder to hit right now yeah i am yep well it says right here on the dragon breath it says like well if you're a level 11 then uh plus four he's not a level 11 plus a plus two so 10 10 damage for that uh so five okay five damage hey every little bit all right all right all right hescons turn good he's gonna start juggling his blade in his hand like he's doing that thing where like you're you're like swinging it back and forth like he's trying to get momentum behind this before he swings down at you with it uh he's gonna tell you you're a weakling draconis accept your death with dignity and he's gonna go ahead and throw an attack out there 21 will miss your a sure will it sure will um with all your damn buffs hmm we've got like a 26 for ac now he's got like a 24 yeah 24 for a mage that's pretty good at his level so he's gonna swing with the sword and you're gonna duck i'm gonna come up i'm gonna say i'll just make sure that i will make sure i get the move right before i fucking say it oh wait i gotta take damage okay you did that already nevermind go i'm gonna tell i'm gonna look right out and say wait can you still hear me okay it went like dead silent for a second yeah uh i want to tell him that you know you shouldn't have done that so many years ago you fucked up and you know what you did and now you're gonna pay and i'm gonna use fire sha uh fire shroud which is burst three close action burst three so fuck it burn the rest of this pit down yep that's gonna be 18 42 that's good it's good to know that is gonna miss good i'm glad i said something oh okay now where now hold on i guess i gotta put this down on the map yeah burst three so that's pretty big jesus christ all right i'm gonna i'm gonna i don't know there's a little bit of i'm gonna put it there and this one's the one where it puts stuff on the ground okay and it will have uh five ongoing fire damage like on the ground like well so much fire damage how many different weapons can something be smoldering well in the back that's actually difficult terrain that's from the ice storm okay so uh i don't have anything else i can do right now i can shift into the fire but i don't want to do that have you actually yet i have yeah okay i thought i did that when i was gonna get like far away from him and he wouldn't find me but that didn't happen okay so it's your turn oh jeez okay it's heskins turn starts by fire yep starts fire damage takes 3d6 plus five that's 12 plus 5 17 minus 5 i guess so i guess we'll just stop doing the plus five so it takes 12 damage it's pretty fucking good that's pretty good yep are you um are you adding in your implement bonus to that damage what implement whatever your wand or anything whatever whatever weapon or you add that number to the damage maybe what's your intelligence i thought that was i thought that was automatic oh yeah it was yeah it was the plus five that's the that's what i was saying it's part of the plus five but he has a resistance to minus like yeah so that indicates it yeah yep uh haskins gonna shift out away from that goddamn wall now because he's piecing it together it's like fuck that's starting to hurt he's gonna tell draconis your woman was weak she deserved to die she harbored someone like you you brought our entire race down with your selfishness he's gonna use another longsword attack 26 what are we hoping not to is that ac 22 i have yeah i have 24 i have 24 so that hits i'm just saying for damage as long as he doesn't roll a 22 or higher then you're still up 21. 21. are you fucking kidding me oh damn the dice have a sense of humor i'm going to uh i'm going to use my shield which is immediate interrupt does that does that happen that does happen uh you are hit by an attack you gain plus four power ac and reflex until the end of the turn so i don't take that damage is that possible oh that wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait go to shield yeah shield it says uh immediate interrupt personal it says you're hit by attack you gain plus four uh power bonus to ac that's true you don't take that damage then it should go up to it should go up to 28 and he threw all the 26 so i shouldn't take that right you shouldn't take that damage also he made an let me see he made an attack against you and i believe there's an immediate for that too my other shield fire your other shield fire shield yeah he takes 2d6 plus your intelligence modifier he gets another plus four on his ac also fucking why not those five right now draconis is the most armored member of your team just did nine just did nine damage then okay nine more damage to hescan okay it looks like you're starting to take a toll on this guy like you're you're punching him out like it's stuck like he's he's incredibly frustrated he's doing like a lot of rapid movements and and like he's trying to assess the situation here but it's pissing him off one more coin hit and i think this fucker is going to start either quitting or he's going to just be out he's not going to quit uh draconis your turn okay this next move is going to be pretty important here so i want that one when i want reflex or reflex i'm gonna say i'm gonna go with the reflex and i'm going to cast fire burst which i mean i guess you could guess what that is it's a burst two within 20. all right so i'm guessing you're focusing on hescan yes i'm going to cast this right here it's gonna burn that up right there lord just just getting bigger it's first two 32 for reflex well that'll hit his reflex yes fuck him in his ass and here is fire damage or yeah it's fire so he's gonna take a little bit less he's gonna take 12 of that so 12 damage 12 damage all right um hescan looks really worse for the wear here like he he looks like he's kind of wobbly-legged now uh anything else you want to do don't you have a miner or something ghost sounds i i i i actually was going to use those abilities earlier but i couldn't because i want to do it while it's invisible but he kept finding me right away so that didn't i never got to use that so uh i don't there's no reason for me to shift so no i'm done okay um may i suggest that you look at your frost wolf pelt is that are you you're you're helping me out is that what's happening i'm i'm not i'm not doing anything i'm just telling you might want to look at it it's a neat looking thing you might want to look at i don't know hescan oh i see okay and that's just that's automatic uh looks to be like a one-time daily thing interesting okay okay that's that's what a frost pelt does okay frost what a frost pelt yeah i'll be damned uh hescan's kind of starts spinning his longsword again but it looks like it's taking him a lot of effort to get this momentum going when i kill you i'm going to mount your head so that everyone can see what a weakling you are uh attack 32. that's a good fucking hit um okay so i assume i take this no matter what this doesn't affect my frost belt i don't think so okay no no well then wait a second let's see what i take then it says immediate reaction immediate reaction i would rom let me get a ruling on this if it says interrupt it happens it happens before the effect before damage okay this just says the reaction is like okay that's the effect is resolved all right so you're gonna take damage first fucking do it yep you're hoping for less than 22 21 or less 25. um okay hescan will down draconis good do it now hescan is like wobbly like like he is fucking like he is in some he is uh he is he is in some pain here what i'm going to allow you to do draconis yep is it would be your turn now uh-huh i'm gonna let you i'm gonna let you roll a death saving throw just in case it's a 20 let's say okay i don't think you get a bonus to any death so it has to be a fucking 20 basically yes unless someone in the party is giving you a bonus and i'm like a rod swell would that's a six never mind yenward scoots up because this is about to be like a bench clearing hockey brawl hescan is about to use something called powerful slice and he is going to try and bring his broadsword down on draconis to finish him off like this is that he is going to try and execute draconis can we jump in yeah can i interrupt you i'd like to throw stormrender at him no no because then we'll have all dragonborn on us what else am i gonna hey hey kug all right can i say something or do something can i punch something you want to try and you want to try and you want you want to put a potion on me you want to put a potion i'll throw it at your head or something yeah do you do you want to try and diplomasize is what you're saying or what yeah fuck it that's not gonna go yeah we'll do a history check on him and that i'll see his humanity and then i'll okay um i'm gonna just scream out enough and diplomacy is ain't well i'd imagine it was gonna be a high check anyway like it might be lower if he was still chester but now that he took all that off well this is like he called a shot he was babe ruth man he called a shot i'm not even gonna hey actually wait a second what are we standing in right now is that just the last strike uh actually that that last one doesn't affect anything let me delete that okay damn i was gonna i was trying to let you get off with a technicality of some sort because he's really close to and i bet he is i bet he is he's been bleeding for a while but nope yeah um that was fire burst that didn't happen uh hessigan's gonna yell out to ironhide silence machine oh i don't like that and he is going to make a swing at draconis wait time out uh let me oh god damn it does anybody know the last move i did that missed was it fire burst i thought it was but was it we can go up there and uh check the uh i don't know if you can check it i don't know how to check that yeah it does half damage but i don't know wait wait it was uh uh fire no it was everything's fire and flame every one of your goddamn moves i know i know check no wait fire burst is checked off all i see is yeah i've been checking off as i use them that was the one versus reflex you missed that one i know that's a half damage that's what i'm saying oh i didn't i we didn't do any half damn that's why i'm i don't know if that was the last it was my last move i don't know if that was everybody says yes it was fire burst in the chat all right go ahead and roll have to go ahead and roll damage i hate for this to like do something though 11 so it'd be 11 huh i don't want like you know that would be enough to almost down has good thing that would suck is that happened that happened before he hit me right you know i didn't see the half damage on it it's not enough to it's not enough to kill him but it is enough like he is so fucking wobbly legged and and beat okay um this so unless someone's gonna interrupt he's gonna he's gonna use powerful slice against draconis dude let let me come on guys let me do it fucking throw it boom throw yeah this that's versus his reflex versus ac that'll hit his ac oh shit he's fucked you know you're gonna kill him in one hit 2d 10 we're gonna have to run so yeah we're gonna drag jaconis and we're running as soon as this is over 24. jesus christ you've just murdered heskan with okay ganmer comes in and takes the honorable kill that is a notable kill and we're technically just stole a notable kill how close was he by the way like how many points did he have he had four hit points you took four hit points from me you son of a bitch i just saved your life hey look at what you fucking did though you you stood up against like a a melee character who was throwing everything he had at you and you were just creating uh aoes everywhere and and and burn damage on like dot damage and shit dude you hold you held your own for a long time i guess this guy oh yeah i'm i'm fine i i did pretty good i thought for the most part yeah yeah i'm just saying it was damn good heskan falls dead after storm under strikes after being blindsided after being completely blindsided like this like rain is just huh and just down like it it just takes him out um heskan's right-hand man uh along with a cadre of dragonborn heskan's right-hand man is going to make his way over to yanward uh he's upset all right like he is he's someone just like to run into the pit and just get draconis up pit is very much on fire but like this like this is this was a spectacle like this was very much like they're like it is on fire and draconis just kind of laying there unconscious can i give him a potion yeah if you want go ahead that'd be great because we're gonna have to get out of here fast quick and in a hurry um so carrick is going to charge up to yanward what is the meaning of this uh it was your boy my boy i made a choice because he was a downed opponent you've assassinated our leader you've stolen his honor happens wow am i throwing the axe back to yanward or am i getting oh it returns automatically it's a boomer it's like a boomer right it's like the worst hammer do i get it go ahead you're right there too am i understanding that you're just like like you're very i mean because this is this like i just want to i just want to understand what's about to happen well let's keep the conversation going let's not commit to anything just yet oh you're committing by by being very flagrant about this like that is that is like he's very upset this you just assassinated their leader you walked in and like first of all that fight was a farce to them like he's tossing magic and you know fire walls and being invisible and everything about that was bullshit to them but they couldn't interrupt that that they would have they would have killed your konas themselves if they could but the entire thing is like i'm not allowed to do anything and then you're just like at the last second and just toss an accident does iron hide appear to be picking up for konas is he like are we like bailing are we just like he'll call out he's ran me down his fucking gullet right now so like does that get me up yeah yeah that'll rip that'll yeah spend good okay jesus all right may i remind you you're in the middle of a city no just look okay let me let me tell you what look what what your exact circumstances you're on top of a series of mountains connected with big rope bridges it's going to take you some time to sprint out of the city they also ride dragons well we can this isn't done yet hold on okay just throwing tell them that we broke for carter and if you want to uh you should take it up with our boss so carrick looks like he's giving you about point four seconds to explain why he shouldn't fucking murder you or try all right look here's the thing i understand you're you're king very important to you i'd like to stick out my high king yanward king of the fire stomps you're sticking your hand out to shake yeah he's just gonna yeah he's just gonna like i fuck your hand just like staring at it like fuck your hand like i don't i'm not touching you you're cool i'm just like the okay that's that look um chester's a good friend of mine and i had to do something he was gonna die what where would my honor be if i just stood by let my friend get his head cut off and he's wait like he's he's like there should be more to this like that that's that's your explanation like you cared for him that's that's it that's my explanation yes all right he was part of a duel no one interrupts once it has begun i thought the minotaurs were supposed to have a similar code dire times you know um he's going to reach back and start to pull the sword out from his scabbard can i say something please can i do something you're up you're up you can take all that shit off of you yeah can i do something i don't know how much health i'm sure uh let me know potions that's a one it's a just 10 i believe so you'd have once again like the there there's a large quantity of dragonborn around us who are not represented by miniatures but who will definitely be trying to kill us oh yeah you're in the middle of a city full of dragonborn i thought that was clear that's why we're talking this out do you want to run nalkus uh i quite ready to run yes i tell you what why don't you run across that rope bridge and then they'll cut it i also think we should run but i have to do something before we run thank you deuce right on his chest um go right i mean do you guys want to i don't want to do this and us not run because that kind of would not work out good for us no no no we're not oh wow okay okay wait wait wait decide what you're gonna do and then do it because i would love to run well what is it you're gonna do i'm gonna set this motherfucker's body on fire oh my god okay that's all just wait a second can i say something real quick that probably won't set us all on fire sure that'd be helpful okay i'm gonna i'm gonna say right to uh what's his name karek karek i'm gonna say right to him listen karek if he was a true warrior true king of your people and he would have seen that axe flying right at him and he would have got the better man won today you're argument is that because our king didn't know that he was getting blindsided by someone not in combat that he was somehow unworthy you're telling us that you wouldn't have stepped in for your king if i didn't it's kind of a good he didn't step i just want to yell your former king karek is going to push past all of you to get to draconis first like the unless you stop karek he is going to be face to face with draconis i'm not doing well with rules all right i'm going to cast uh oh god let's remove hasska arcane gate oh you create a dimensional rift between two unoccupied squares in range we're gonna run i hope well i wanted to do this kind of as he was coming up to me so it would like put a little rift in between us you know like hey i'm on the other side of the rift buddy i can't do this okay you can't walk around that shit either yeah okay you create them into two unoccupied squares the rift lasts until the end of your next turn okay so what you're trying to do is get a head start of course now you do realize the rift would be right in front how did he get on this side of us well that's what i was going to say unless they stop him he's going to roll let's roll on him not to get past yeah we got we got several of us that can stop him so what is right strength oh he's okay okay i'm sorry i didn't see on the side of the map where he was i thought he was still on the top side oh no no no no no he's down no he walked around to get in yinward's face what the fuck is wrong with you that kind of thing sorry so let me let me just okay the dimensional gate so you'd be putting it next to you and it's only 20 squares that's a decent amount to like get a head start on but you're still in the middle of the city and you're still i mean just to let you know your situation this is bleak in terms of running it would still kind of get us far enough away from people who know what went down in here well fuck it let's kill this guy then i mean we don't we're not getting out of here without fighting this guy okay there were witnesses i'm just what rob said it too but there were many dragonborn witnesses no there's a lot of witnesses i'm just i'm just saying 20 squares i think would get like maybe us out of the building like it's not really a building it's more it's kind of outdoorsy kind of type thing but yeah that would get you i mean like look that would get you a head start and it would help you with checks to get out of here i'm not i'm not saying it won't but if one of you stumbles or fucks up i don't want to take that risk they will they will murder you flat out murder you at this point like i can unless something changes they're kind of already planning on that well unless you explain yourself a little better or kind of come up like but you're not no we have no good explanation of what just happened we have nothing good enough for them i know that unless you want to get into what he actually did to you oh there you go fight better would not be here to save you and spare your life you're welcome i might have rolled you know i might have rolled thank you your options your options are keep your secret and try and fight your way out or run or maybe kind of bury your soul a little bit and maybe time to fess up baby i feel like this is like this this the like family sitcom moment where the kids like dad we need to talk things have just gotten all messed up since i told these lies this is like serious time on full house yeah yeah firstly is anyone stopping is anyone gonna stop carrick because he really will okay i thought it was just getting up to him and like if i have to kind of like move my character a space to okay well do me a favor rolling athletics or yeah rolling athletics check that's what i can do 24 24 okay well okay the world is going to kind of get in his way and bar him from like he's trying to get past and it like you're you're pissing him off like fucker you better look oh like that that kind of but you're getting a second to get your shit together here traconis is up to you all right i want to yell out this guy what's this guy's name real quick one last time care carrick carrick okay i just want to yell care do you know who came before you as his at the hand of eskin eskin uh he's just kind of looking inquisitive quizzically just like no does nink uh crew horn hang up uh ring a bell vaguely he's not the noble king you thought he was explain yourself can i set his body on fire yet or is that maybe you want to get through an explanation before setting okay okay okay i looked at the idea of in the middle of explanation it's like hold on i gotta get this real quick all right before we all die i really want to set his body on fire that's all i got patrick baitman anyway yes stubborn bastard all right yes hesskin slaughtered my entire family okay they had no they had nothing to do with my sickness they were not weak i i am the weak one they had nothing to do with it but he sent crew horn his men to slaughter my entire family and i killed crew horn okay and i was banished from this city never to return again so as i stand here with him dead at my feet you have no idea how happy i am so do what you want but i am not leaving until his body is burned to a fucking crisp all right so you wanted me to say something so i did no i i'm guessing this is when he was younger of course it was no fucking child should ever make those decisions um uh roll a perception check please oh that's not gonna be good at all i got like three oh no it's five eight sweet you're in the middle of the city i don't see anything no um carrick almost looks remorseful i'm i'm sorry about your family we were honor bound to follow him that was not the decision to be made if anything you should have been banished from the city not your family they should yeah they weren't banished they were fucking killed okay i understand that they should not have been assaulted though they did harbor a week and he's kind of like in the middle of describing you they did harbor you that is still illegal here still they should have been given the option of leaving and he's going to kind of like put his fist to his chest and kind of give you this deep bow i apologize on his behalf i'm gonna lower each uh i'm gonna hold each one of my hands out each side and i'm gonna start conjuring uh some fire up you know at carrot no it's gonna happen either fucking way and i am gonna set heskan's body on fire and just i'm not like i'm not talking about boom i'm not talking boom fireball i'm talking like flamethrowers now i'm talking and that shit is just going i don't i don't i i just look and i i don't break eye contact with uh what's this character's kind of got this look on his face that like okay all right like he's waiting for you to get done essentially like he knows why you're doing it he knows but like it's insult to injury after a little bit yeah okay boom after a little bit after a little bit of a little bit of fire done the place reeks it's just awful this place is on fire guys it's kind of on fire like it's kind of on fire a lot yeah you do that you're going that kind of happens where you go places um carrick is going to start looking around at uh at everyone here um and he's going to lean into malkus because malkus is pretty close to him you understand you've caused a bit of a problem for us at least and what do you propose we do about this i don't even know what to say that's me okay i don't even know like who's he talking i because i don't fucking do what to say to that no it's like whispering he's like whispering to malkus this is very like because malkus was the one who tried to do so he's like oh hey let me like he's trying to just pretty i think we would have had a pretty good chance the two-on-two thing but then all of a sudden iron high you want to come on oh we're all set up to where it was like you you stay in the background to current it's like no this is about him so why doesn't he fight oh i was okay we're good um man i don't even know what i want to say um i don't know what to say either yeah yeah i don't know like what our options even could possibly be right now um slowly wings and book it no um no uh malkus says someone we need dragons fuck it malkus says um uh draconis has had his revenge he's taken uh name it starts with an h hasky hasky baskin thank you uh draconis has had his revenge he's taken his life if you let him leave with us he will never be seen here again um karek's gonna come and look over you to draconis who is standing next to the smoldering body of their former leader you understand that that would be an unpopular decision here and you get the you get the very clear sense that there is a mob kind of closing in around you like this is around me or the group the everyone like this is a this is a big hub up now there are people who didn't necessarily witness this but there is there's a shitload of fire and something going on so people are crossing bridges to get to this like this is a big deal they're gonna see their dead kings that on fire that's good uh i'll kind of chime in and just say we just removed a king who was full of unpopular decisions nevertheless we were honor bound to follow him what's done is done heskan is dead there will be a successor but he had no kin well uh the way i see it you were his wait and let me fucking talk yo whoa okay yeah i see it karek you know he he seemed to put up put a pearl of uh oh shit i'm i'm i'm my responsibility yeah he he seemed to put a lot of stock into you carrick so uh maybe you just bought yourself a new job here today technically i would be next in line yeah there you go you seem like a bunch that's that's good doesn't it bud you seem like a much more honorable person than heskan would be and much stronger much stronger got great abs too this is what he's into would your people would your people find glory in bringing on the downfall of the overwatch and dismantling their warforged forces would that rally them would that give them a focus for their for their anger it may be a needed distraction he's gonna eyeball ironhide are we talking about dismantling all warforged that would be a much easier pitch for my people if i say anything it's gonna be really rude well we know that malkus says once this is over you can take that up with him personally um and uh carrick's going to step up to ironhide okay and just kind of inspect him like like you would like a new toaster or a blender just kind of like inspect him all right fancy he starts pushing on the handles like oh she's just like just turning some dials yeah he's just like i honestly i don't understand what the huge threat is numbers mostly you fight a considerable number of them odds are if you were fighting them by yourself they would just overrun you all imagine a swarm of insatiable steel locusts one locust is not a problem ah when you put it in terms like that the warforged are like insects yes i can pitch that when do you plan on fighting them malkus kind of looks at the party and says this is our last stop isn't it yeah it's got to be immediate they have to send their troops out right now we are preparing to march on the overwatch we only need return to our base of operations and coordinate your help with all the allies we already have fine where is your rallying point uh do i have one of those jason winter haven winter haven winter haven uh i tell him winter haven okay okay i'm gonna do this okay oh it almost worked so you you're stepping back up into his face yeah i'm just just saddling up right right in front of him uh-huh said i'm gonna look around check out his people that are probably inches away from us it's yeah uncomfortably close that prison yard mentality is setting in like okay your people seem pretty ferocious they look like they could take on a great deal gonna wait for him to respond they are we need people like that what do you say about being the vanguard of our army and what does that entail frontline troops take down those toasters right if you can't we could put you somewhere in the back nursing like helping people nursing wounds and such like that is that what you say to him i'm going to say that like in a manner where it's like if you don't feel comfortable we can always put you in the back somewhere do not overstep your bounds machine the fact that we haven't struck you down so far is more than a testament to my patience um he's going uh he's gonna oh sorry not asking oh my god oh shit it's pretty austin no it's smoldering body just stands up the fucking jason for he is it's supposed to go all over again um carrick is going to turn his attention towards malkus and kind of uh stick his giant clawed hand out uh malkus will shake his hand and uh say um i appreciate a leader who understands the priorities of the continent and i hope you can convince your people of the same they'll follow me into battle just make sure that whoever else you bring to this war will do the same um now he's gonna start to squeeze the shit out of your hand okay uh do me a favor roll an endurance check hold on hold on i don't think malkus's grip strength is very impressive no no no no no no uh iron aspect of dis better my skin turns iron and i gain resist five tall damage cracking as he tries to squeeze your metal hand so carrick is going to start to do that you know show of strength like try and squeeze your hand and you're just gonna turn it on i'm gonna make this clear malkus will squeeze back as hard as he can with his strength of 11. right yeah but he's also not gonna let it you know he doesn't want to break his fingers to give the guy a handshake yeah malkus ain't looking like no bitch in front of people like i like it um just the iron out it's fine like this was um yep bark fuck so carrick's just gonna kind of give this knowing smile uh and and just kind of give your hand a couple of pumps and then let go you'll have our a t-flick kind of looks at him and smiles back and says i do what must be done to achieve victory um carrick's gonna lean in you should leave this city now all right do you guys would you get mad if i asked for one thing before we left yes i mean i was waiting for the right time it kind of wasn't presenting itself but now that it's everything's wrapping up i kind of want to ask him if i can grab a little piss on the ass no i i want to see if i can get a little blood root before i get out of here just just want to ask wow oh my gosh are you serious jesus christ hey well you know what maybe we can just snag some on the way out i know this field so you want to try and steal dude dude we're asking for so much already don't steal from him well he's beelining for the exit just don't want your weakness in front of him uh can i score some blow too on top of all this can i score some blow for my weak disease that makes me weak like oh my god please top me off okay okay okay do you guys have a mirror i won't ask for blood root right now let's leave let's just eat a large spoon like a soup smoothie just a taste man just a taste um all right uh you so fucking carrick is going to give this give this like he's just kind of like spread his arms telling people to like get out of their way they're going and he's got some explaining to do and you guys are taking your leave of a rash like congratulations on your new promotion care i think that that's a pretty good time for us to wrap things up for the evening hey uh yanberg thank you huh thanks for uh you are welcome taking my fucking kill you sorry uh i mean taking uh has killed yeah that's the notable kill i stole he's gonna murder you dude possibly you're welcome do you want to hear what that attack roll would have do you want to hear what that attack roll would have been oh sure let's let's see what it would have been uh 48 plus 10 4d8 plus 10 yeah you were so fucked and how many what was my number like two you were at a negative three so he would have only needed like like a 30 in damage maybe how about we just roll it just for like just for fun just see what it would have been just to see just to see if he would have murdered you just to see just to see okay all right i think all he would have needed was like a 30 let's see minus see if he would have three let's do it dummy just to see if i would have died hold on a second let me see he's gonna ask him uh powerful slight 48 plus 10 33 33 you would have been dead so i would have died you would have dead yeah you would have been dead all right yanward i'll let you have this one well played only because you took it on my unconscious hands you made your point um do you guys want to talk to the chat for a few minutes considering you're sitting right here sure yeah uh what's interesting is that uh there's totally a uh thoril character journal that could totally go up at some point um working on it um do you know what wordpress does to the written word no there's some now fuck character journals too yeah and we're not allowed to post pictures on our site apparently what i can't fucking post a picture in a wordpress like post i can't i it won't let me you don't know the code apparently no i don't know oh yeah i gave you the code we'll do that yeah i can do that okay you gotta put it yeah you put it in the code not the i don't know what's up with the one thing i don't know why i wouldn't do that but you can definitely put the code in yeah well if i post like let's say something from word or something from something like it just mangles it like it just it totally yeah destroys it so you got to sit and pick through it all and try to it's such a pain in the ass so yeah lots of character journals and that's a fuckload of work instead of just copy and pasting it's like okay and then you put it in and it's like now fix it it's it scrambles it and like yeah yep i didn't mean to give you more work jason sorry no no no no no no no no no no no not at all not at all did anyway uh robotics miters why doesn't malkus want to visit his poor mom malkus wants to get this job done as efficiently as possible family can wait i mean it's just a matter of he doesn't feel like there is like we can't be taking side trips you know like this needs to be solved and out of the way and they can go on with this life again some of his family can wait i'm thinking that you want to get this we're over with mainly to get away from ironhide that is part of his motivation that seems like one of those numbers that's like priority one the rest of it's like oh everyone's peaceful that's good too but there's two sides to every you know coin so there's a way that ironhide feels about malkus also oh of course it it huh this is i mean this is it has been an unpleasant journey like and i'm not saying that about like you know the company specifically or something like that but just that like we are constantly we're just no you know what i am saying that about the company actually because here's the thing i almost died people keep running their mouths and crap keeps falling apart it is everything i can do for the one person i care about in all the world to keep this going and keep recruiting people and everybody is constantly like oh oh you want to talk to that guy i'm gonna kool-aid man through the wall i'm just gonna oh yeah and yeah so it's worked out i think that i would like to fucking return to the white ravens i would like to be lauded for my patience as i attempt to save the continent and then never go adventuring again let me tell you guys something you can't retire after this i'm with jace let me tell you guys by the end let me tell you something yeah what's up you guys have completed a very long journey mostly long because it's a month and a half in between each episode for you guys but you have just spent the better part of nine months building an army yeah that's over that's good the next episode is going to be this huge council meeting you're going to reunite with the white ravens you're going to get back to winter haven you've got your army and now it's about having all these people in the same room and i have been planning something for a year oh i've been waiting for you guys to get to this this next episode for group one it's going to be so fucking big story-wise i've been waiting to drop some shit on your lap and you're finally here it's a little gross tom but but uh yeah i i just i've been waiting for a very very very long time and you're finally here and i can't be more ecstatic so um get get ready i'm so ready okay let's do it right now i ain't got shit tonight fucking next thing on next thing uh i want to say next week i don't know when do you guys want to do your next episode i'm for it yeah i don't know if group three is going to be ready by then oh i'm pretty sure they'll they'll probably be i may be busy next week you can't no i'm here every other fucking week oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa relax relax baby we're just kidding just kidding defense is up um yeah it's up to you i'm open next week i know i'm gonna be going to packs which is april 9th that weekend okay so not the next weekend either i'll be in packs i'll be at yeah i'll be boss uh-huh okay so not the next two weeks god damn it i will i'm oh you guys are gonna hate me the the weekend of the 20th is the weekend of easter and my family travels for easter okay can't do it then either so we need to do this next weekend it'll be a month it's a month okay tyler what's going on next week seriously saturday can we do it saturday i could do it saturday oh shit saturday's great because i'm just saying sunday is wrestlemania some people want to watch wrestlemania saturday saturday saturday the fifth nobody's gonna watch that shit saturday no no first first wait shh no it isn't saturday the what saturday april what fifth that's when dan and i are going to be at the wizard world con oh can't do it then but you guys are going to be there at night yeah but i can't i i you guys that's a day trip isn't it that's it's it's an all-day thing it's kind of an all-day thing okay well look it doesn't okay we're gonna okay the bottom is we're gonna get to it relax we're gonna it's it's it's coming it looks like it's about a month away but it's coming i i think we should do this on wednesday i i'm gonna be out of town um uh that that well it's the easter weekend anyway it doesn't matter so i'll be out of town um okay so we can't play the 11th right no yeah i'm gonna be in boston so mart okay let's just get a jump to may what's happening in may we all want to play jason we just all have like i'm not all these conflicting schedules i'm not mad uh i'm gonna be moving in may but i can still do it what what day i don't know i don't i don't know i hope oh christ that's oh jason i'm going to trust me i i'm good to do it see that i got selected to go up in the mars uh rover i'm gonna be gone for the next 34 years that's amazing uh jason on april 5th i'm going to be on group three i don't think you are i think i am i think i think we should invade their show though i don't know if i can thank you guys can't show up to your own show just like just cue the fucking nw music and have us come in i think that'd be pretty cool in a few years versus the shield um we're actually ready so okay let's try this may third or fourth i'm i mean i should be good for anything after like just not packs i should be good for anything right i guess we got time to hash this out huh yeah please we got one in fellas we got one in yeah true that so here's my question let this one into two and buy us some time oh no it's not we don't have lack of contact group two place next week i've got two group three sessions next week i was gonna ask oh group one well i mean like with group three i thought they're waiting for us aren't they waiting for us right now no they were they were trying to catch up to you oh so we have to let them catch up anyway oh well you don't have to no no no no no no no no whatever happens happens that's not the way the world works i'm looking forward to group three anyway so where's rodswell right now i i talked to you about a thing choking dick somewhere we can do something like that he's in the uh he's in the city he's in the overwatch okay wait what you went to him no overwatch brought some fucking uh duncan the one we like not that other um duncan would be making his way so like in this episode he would let me see uh by now he would be duron hollow okay so he's just like a week behind us like just figuring out all the shit that we've done so far basically piecing together a murder mystery like trying to it's like how okay and just making his way east and by that time it'll be irrelevant anyway because you guys will meet him on the road so it won't matter but oh we can't do that we we could do like an inspectors or a gamer world but again it's not like a side quest side quest yeah it's not lacking content it's just us all being on at the same time i just feel bad there's not a lot of group one content well i mean i feel i feel bad about that too i i want to do more but you know it's we all got our own shit that we why wait why can't we do it saturday sorry oh that's right that's right that's right and are going to be yeah yep yeah yeah call call all right then yeah i guess i guess uh yeah so a month it's gonna have to be some time in may i guess yep hopefully the first week in may that's stinks all i can tell you is that it'll be worth the wait it'll be a fantastic episode i believe and it'll be it'll be this it'll it'll be an all-star game man this will be like yeah it's gonna be a big one it'll it'll be pretty goddamn awesome well maybe the 26th and 27th of april that's the weekend after easter uh 26th and 27th wasn't there a reason we couldn't do that uh nobody said anything yet because that's the date we were gonna do oh i thought you guys talked about me oh no i was talking about first week of may like i thought there was a reason 26 and 27 oh no that that month was a rough eight because it's still like almost four weeks yeah so that's that's a little ways away but that's not that's not the end of the world and we do it in spectres because i just want to play something without having to wait a month or maybe gamma world something like that i'd love that okay i yeah i i there's that like it's gonna it's gonna happen like when that episode rolls around it'll be it'll it'll be really special like i said when i say i've been planning this out for a year i'm talking like when you guys came back for the 17 years and that revelation like this has all been planned out like that that portion of what i'm gonna drop on you like that's been it's been ready it's been in the can for fucking ever like i've been waiting i'm it killed that's why i get so shitty like it's like oh we're not recording again jesus christ not not i'm not it's not like i'm trying to be shitty it's i'm waiting with bated breath there are only two people i think on the entire cast of dnr that know what i have planned besides there's insiders what you're telling me is he can't your mouth shut i had to tell someone because it's eating me up alive he told me it's gonna be one big orgy yes i didn't tell any of you guys well and i'm not gonna tell you who i told because then yeah can i can i take some guesses it's pretty easy to piece together okay fine i'm pretty readable when it comes to that fine fuck you guys but i don't care but they're not gonna fucking tell you who is it i don't i don't take your guesses artemis take your guesses that fucking arty we're not okay i i don't feel like everyone chickened up i said something didn't i i agree with what justin said i know it's cookie that rat bastard i know i know i agree with what justin oh alana also there's a lana cookie okay it was a lana dizabeth yeah two very very good guesses okay i'm pretty fucking readable again fuck you you you're the chauvinist pig and those are the ones i talked to fuck you i don't have to fucking explain myself to you the point the point is um they're not going to tell you either so uh it doesn't matter um good i don't want you to be told what if i was tell you i've already been told you have mental i know you're right this is this is huge this is i'm not gonna bluff him uh but yeah it'll be it'll be awesome so it'll be worth the wait and this will give me time to round out like it'll give me time to round out the group three stuff and group two will be taken off by then jamie lee's gonna join the cast by then so it'll be we're gonna be it there'll be stuff in the feed curtis yeah and yeah keep it that's that's the thing the chat needs to keep in mind like we're not saying there's no dnr for the entire month of april there's tons of dnr it's just you know it's just that's not just not one that's just not group one so i mean that's you won't get this level of precision and teamwork that's what i'm saying you won't get this yeah you know what say what you will about group one they didn't split in half we're special we're like a special attraction that's why we only show up once in a while because like a freak show the the the shine wears off if if we're if we're around all the time i was man i thought that fight was gonna go so much better i feel like people can only deal with group one once a month anyway we're not i mean it's part of it's part of it selfish i mean it's it's fun to put out a show for everybody but i really like playing well that's the fun of it that's that's why you know so to go a month without playing or yeah i get it it stinks fucking get an iphone at damn son this campaign isn't going to end dnr is it the the like there is there's gonna keep turning man no matter how the war ends up whether the overwatch win whether these guys win whether it then it's just dealing with the ramifications of that and it just keeps going that's my plan anyway it'll be interesting when we win i already rolled my character how many years after yanwar dies in the war win that's interesting myself i didn't pick anything out important except what yes you'll have to help me with all the technical i didn't know our viewers were so absurd by the way our listeners god yes the whole chester thing freaked me out can't believe anybody remembered that dude they i forgot that was the first episode of inspectors i don't even know how long ago that was that was a long time ago yeah yeah and that was like last christmas before last i i might be able to talk myself up to some kind of uh i'm like a one shot of mythender or something to to fill some group one stuff mythender is something i talked about earlier it's it's a free rpg so you can actually download the rules for free they don't even accept a donation for it they it's just out there oh that's cool um let's see uh mythender uh yeah oh it's even just like available on this website that you don't even have to go through uh you don't even have to go through making an account for um for drive-through rpg uh mythender is about trying to kill gods without accidentally becoming one because uh gods are oppressive jerks and you're a bunch of heroes that could ascend to godhood but you're trying to avoid the temptation and slay the existing gods it's it's really it's really heavy metal it's uh i think it i think it actually describes itself as a like just badass heavy metal version of scandinavian folklore as it's written but uh there's that yeah there's that myth under link in the chat if you're interested okay okay right now yeah it's way more abstract than dnd it is it is intended to be def it is not as explicit and all spelled out like dnd it's more storyteller kind of stuff like inspectors was yeah you dig that kind of stuff i do that's my that's my jam inspectors is pretty awesome i wish i could have gotten more of those ones well i mean it doesn't mean we're never going to play it again oh probably see the thing is like we used to do those because there was a lull in content that's true there's there's never really a lull in content anymore like we always have something going well now we use it for a lapse in schedules there you go yeah man i'm getting requests for those bloopers i think it was pretty fun i think i've got enough to post some stuff together let me see like a whole dnr blooper yeah i've been collecting little things here and there there isn't there isn't a ton because my my theory was that i'd have people do these um these little interstitials at the beginning and people would mess up and then people really didn't people were nailing them one shot justin was the first one to go full bore falling down the stairs oh that yeah well yeah like there's robs i got that and then there's yeah but you didn't really screw up yep i did not one take one take tom they call me oh i got one where uh brie didn't know her microphone was stolen so she just starts talking to jamie lee that's pretty funny actually because we all like it's in the middle of like the show and like she just starts like talking about like like wine glasses and stuff and then they're just having this conversation and we're just like waiting just giving reactions to something she can't hear waiting for her to realize her microphone's still very much on and it takes like 35 seconds like it it causes us a lot of laughter like i think they didn't say anything embarrassing that would have been bad that would have been bad uh and then there's everything justin did today yeah i could piece together something yeah i could totally post together something sure we got all kinds of time zones here in the chat you've seen three oh yeah lots of people you can yeah man i'm the the low the postgame ball here is making me realize how exhausted i am i can put my pants back on cool that would shake that would shake things up i don't i don't think that would i don't think that'd be much of a lull i'm just i'm saying and shake things up a little bit it'll be different do we have any do you have any final words for the chat do we need to clear anything up um thank you very much everyone for coming out and hanging out with us sorry we got started a bit late um stuff happens as you can hear we have definite scheduling issues on group one we've missed you yes yeah i i miss playing with you guys i'll take the blame for this last big group of stuff that's totally my bad oh don't worry about it dude it happens we're still missing dan we're still missing like if that happens again then yeah he wasn't luckily he wasn't like really needed too much right like if it happens again though we gotta postpone life happens that's right it does it happens a lot on group one sorry he doesn't get sick that often though so this is a rare no no no yeah uh so yeah thank you everyone for for hanging out with us and uh i'll get to editing and try to have something up by tomorrow cool all right all right take care everybody have a good night night guys - See you guys.

- By the way.