Unburdened

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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All the stuff you guys do. Handing it off to you guys. You say stuff now. Excellent. You mentioned it. You know, like, "Rate us on iTunes!" You know, like, "Give us a review, send an email, follow us on Twitter, DNR podcast handle dicks." Really? I don't know. Handle dicks? Did you just say handle dicks? Not terrible advice. If you want to support our podcast, go out and handle some dicks. You don't need to do anything, just handle them. No money changes hands. Yeah, this... You said we were all going to do it. I was like, "This is going to go so well." This is what happens, Jason.

I blame me. This is what happens if you have ideas. Yeah, I blame me. This is my fault. Okay, well let's mention something we don't ever really get to mention. Video content. We have video content right now on YouTube. You can... I guess an easy way to find our YouTube channel would just be search dungeon randomness. That'd be quick and easy. You could also go to dnrpodcast.com and we got featured videos on the site. I actually got the first living in Tharia in the bag last night. I finally got it done. Nice. We're also working on shirts. Some shirts and stuff.

Because I posted the videos of Oregon and pictures and stuff. And one of the first comments were, "Where the fuck did you get that hoodie and why can't I buy one?" [Laughter] I didn't think about it when I posted it. I'm like, "Oh yeah, it was kind of a cast thing. Sorry." So yeah, we're working on it. I promise. I'm going to stop stammering now and let's get to the show. Let's do that thing where we go around the table. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table starting with Bri. Hello, I'm Brianna. I'm going to be playing Jadzia, Grace, and the currently human Warlock.

And Izzy. Hi, I'm Izzy and I play Una, the half-elf paladin. And Kat. Hi, I'm Kat. I play the change in fee. So last time on the show, you guys were tasked with taking out some vampires. Kind of got roped into a little job with Artemis. Who is making you some badass dragon scale armor right now. In the ensuing brawl, Jadzia was bitten. And that's exactly what we're going to pick up with today. So you are still very much in this cave. Brianna's going to kind of... Like after everything's said and done here, you guys are out of combat. Brianna's going to run over to Jadzia and start checking on her.

Everyone pretty much saw Jadzia get bitten. This was a pretty obvious thing that happened. And Brianna's going to reach up to take Jadzia's face in her hands and move her head aside to look at the bite. And there's just blood streaming. Most of Jadzia's covered. But her clothing is soaking up the blood. There's a large amount of blood. Fuck. Jadzia's going to immediately pull away and take a few steps back and cup her hand over the wound. And she's clearly frantic and she starts kind of scratching at it, but not ridiculously hard. Just like part of her mind wants it gone.

And she's going to take out her dagger. Whoa. Yeah, Brianna's going to react to that right away. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How far has everyone else from Jadzia? Well, let's see. Let's put you back on the board here. You would only be about, I'd say, 10 to 15 feet away. Like, not very far. Okay, so close enough to like sprint up and grab the knife away. It would be a little bit. If she really wanted to do something desperate, it would be a check. But, yeah. The way she's holding the dagger is more at you guys than at herself. Oh, okay. Oh. More like, stay away from me.

Why the hell would we think Jadzia would hurt herself? Why? Why in anything we've found out about her so far? And it's not like she's going to attack you either. It's more like, don't approach me. Yeah, Brianna's going to take a step back. Just kind of put her hands up. Okay, okay. Leora. Leora's going to try and pull Una and Fi aside. You know what we have to do, right? We have to get her some help. Yeah, we've got to find a cure. The best help we can give her right now is to put her down. To put her out of her misery. No, that's not an option. What the fuck did you just say?

Look, I've seen this happen enough that this is going to end badly. I understand she's your friend. I understand you've been traveling together for a while. But there is no reality where this ends well for her. No. Just no. You can't be stubborn about this. She's going to get sick and die and then she's going to come back. And she's not going to be the same Jadzia you know. Fuck you. We're getting her help. Um, okay. At the fuck you. Leora's going to cock her head just a little bit and look at Una. And she's just going to kind of regard her for a second. It looks like she wants to say something and then she just goes back to talking about Jadzia.

Have you ever been around someone who's turned into a vampire? I know you haven't. This was the first time fighting them. And it only takes a second for them to do something like what they did to your friend. There's going to be a beast living inside of her. She will always be hungry. There will never be a time where she isn't driven by that hunger. I... You have no idea what you're signing up for. You don't even know if she wants the help. Maybe she wants to be put down. If she wants it, then she can tell us. If she doesn't want it, she is our friend and our comrade and we must help her in any way that we can.

If for whatever reason she turns and attacks us, then fair enough we defend ourselves. But until that point, we're not putting her down on a what if. A few of the vampires that were here appeared to be a little older than I figured they would be. I honestly figured it would be a lot of thin bloods. A lot of late generation vampires that couldn't turn us if one of you happened to be bitten. But the one that got a hold of Jadzia looked to be a little older than that. How old do you think? Maybe a decade. Something close to it. Maybe third, fourth generation.

What does that mean in regards to Jadzia? It means either way she's going to die. You've fought vampires before. Don't you know how to deal with this sort of thing? I'm trying to deal with this sort of thing. In a way that's not fucking stupid. Again, she's going to cock her head and look at Una. Make a perception roll please. Uh, boop. Ten. Still there. I noticed that she has eyes. Well she has eye. Oh yeah. Whoops. That's how bad the perception roll was. You had two eyes a minute ago. What the? Wait, has that always been there? Or not been there? You can just kind of see her tense just for a second.

And then she goes back to talking. The only other thing you can do if you're trying to cure her is seek out a blood mage. And you're probably not going to like the result if you find one. There's only two in the area that I know of. And both are dangerous to get to and even more dangerous if you actually find them. Maybe we should actually just talk to Chatsy and see what she wants to do first. Gee who'da thunk. Okay that's the third time. Can I roll a perception roll to see how much of that I just heard? Sure. 22. That's like the only good perception roll I've ever gotten.

You heard a good portion of that actually. Specifically the blood mage portion of it. And the fact that Liara wanted to kill you. It's a mercy killing in her eyes though. You're definitely not picking up that there was any malice or ill intent. It was specifically to help you. It was a room full of drow children. Yeah. Mercy killing. Exactly. But this is an echoey kid. Breanna's also picking up on this and she seems a bit troubled by that whole thing. And she's going to walk over to you guys. We can't just kill her. We gotta try something. Where are the blood mages you were talking about?

And Liara thinks it over for a second. She says, "You know where the first one is." And you can see her visibly recoil at that. The idea of going back into the swamp and finding that specific woman is on top of that. The other last time I kept any tabs on him. He was an Esterholt. He's a pretty powerful tiefling. But again, that's probably even more dangerous than just living with the vampirism. Oh fuck. Hey, Esterholt's where my temple was. Good town. You're seriously considering seeking this guy out? Things don't go well. We can always kill him. I'm not going to let myself die.

Judzia's going to speak for the first time. I'm not going to die. Where do you want to go, Judzia? I can't die. And she's clearly not really thinking straight. She's still scratching at the scar and such. And she's like, "Which one's more powerful?" I think the better question is which one's least crazy. The witch who lives in a swamp, she's a little tougher to get to. It's going to take days. Esterholt is at least on the road. It's probably safer to make the trek that way, but... The specific tiefling you're looking for has been known to... Randomly hurt people who seek out his aid.

It doesn't seem to be a real rhyme or reason why he does the things he does. You may be able to get some help from him, or you may have to... Defend your own lives once you find him. I really don't know, but... Jatzia, you really need to think about this. It may just be better for everyone if you... Don't you finish that fucking sentence! Liara's just kind of like... She's taking a posture now where it's just... Alright, fuck it. I tried. The bottom line is we can't make the trek with you. Myself and Brianna are supposed to meet up with Brittana, and we're going up to Winterhaven to meet with her.

And she looks over at Brianna to meet with their leadership. We're getting ready to fight a war here, and I don't even know who's... Who's on our side, to be honest. We're still waiting for the group that we're working with to get back. You're gonna be on your own if you decide to make this trek. We can handle it. You might at least want to stop by the Silver Flag, and it's a bar in town. Maybe you can hire someone to make the trek with you, flesh out your party a little bit. And she's gonna reach into her bag here and pull out a sack full of gold and toss it at Una.

Do I have to roll an athletics to catch that? Let's say no! Let's say... You just caught it. Oh yeah, I'll catch it. There's nothing really on the line if you were... I mean, you'd look clumsy, but beyond that... I'll tell you what. No matter what happens, check in with us at Winterhaven when you get back, alright? Will do. I wish you a lot of luck. You're probably gonna need it. And they're gonna get ready and start making for the cave entrance. And Liara's gonna turn around real quick and shout back to Una. Una! Oh, I guess I'll jog up to her. Yeah? She's gonna take this low tone.

She wants just you to hear her. I know about ten thousand ways to hurt you. If you ever talk to me that way in front of these people again, I'll start by cutting off one of your fingers randomly. Okay? And then she kind of takes this real friendly tone at the end of that sentence. It's very ominous and then like, "Okay!" And then she kind of like reaches over and pats Una on the cheek. Yes, ma'am. And then they get ready and they're gonna leave the cave. You guys have a decision to make here. First of all, okay, so you're gonna try and seek out a cure, is my understanding.

Yeah. So are you going to the swamp or Astarhold? I remember from when Thorol got bit that you only had a certain amount of time. Yes. And so if time is a factor, I feel like Astarhold is the better option. But then again, the witch seemed a lot more sane. Yeah. I think Jodzia's gonna want to run a history check on what she would know about the Typhlian and Astarhold. I think you should. 'Cause I think she might know. 28. We are not going to Astarhold. It doesn't take much for Jadzia to put together powerful tiefling living in Astarhold, blood magic, crazy.

Guy's name is Dormak. You don't want that. You probably don't want that. Jadzia would also know that that is her estranged husband. And he is crazy beyond measure. The guy is insanely powerful to boot. So you take crazy and then add power and you get very, very dangerous. The plus side is he might actually help, but it would be for completely selfish and crazy reasons. He also may just try and murder you guys. You never really know. The witch on the other hand would be a very dangerous trek to get to her that's deep in the swamp. And you also have to pretty much go through Overwatch territory in the forest to get there.

So yeah, you're warned either way. It's going to be a little longer to get through. It's going to be a little longer to make your way into the swamp and back. But the person you're dealing with is less unstable, let's say. Honestly, Astarhold seems like the better idea. There's no way. Well, okay. Perhaps Jadzia would like to share exactly why Astarhold is a bad idea. Is that something Una is suggesting? Just like, okay, that's the quicker of the options, time is of the essence, let's go? Yeah. The faster we get there, the better, the more time we have to deal with shit.

And honestly, I don't want to trek through Overwatch territory and then through a fucking swamp. Jadzia is just going to fly out saying, no, we have to go back to the swamp. Why? She's going to lower her head and she's just going to say, I know the tight flame in Astarhold. We have to go to the swamp. Would he not help you? He might, but we can't. Your best chance of living, Jadzia, is to go to Astarhold. Jadzia is going to sit down because she's lost a lot of blood at this point, I'm assuming. He'll check, maybe patch that shit up. Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.

She'll let Una near her. Okay, so better now. Yeah, the bleeding stopped. The bandage and shit up. Yeah, the bite mark is still there. The bleeding stopped though. So Jadzia is just kind of, at this point, crumbled. She's going to say, even if he saves me, Una, he's my husband. Oh shit. That explains. Do you want to kill him? Then he wouldn't save me. So after? Two birds, one stone? The only way that I could get him to help me again would be to start pretending again. I can't do that. Even if he's insane, the last time I was with him, I did try to kill him. He's insane, he might have forgotten, and thinks that he's my husband again, but I can't die.

Okay, we need to evaluate which of these options is going to, disregarding the whole crazy husband thing, which of these is going to result more likely in you surviving? There's a good chance that as soon as Darmok sees me, he'll try to kill me. About 50/50. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. No pun intended. Chantia is actually going to laugh out loud, and she's going to say, You don't know this devil. No, but you do. He's got a point. Look, if we hire somebody, they already gave us a lot of money. If we hire somebody, somebody big, maybe we'll have enough to deal with anything he throws at us.

Jodzia's starting to think a little bit clearer now because she's been healed. She's going to say, on the off chance that he doesn't automatically kill us, I do know him. And if he thinks that I'm his doting fucking wife again, he might save me. We can always kill him afterward. I'll try. Okay, let's get out of this fucking cave. Alright. So it sounds like you guys are heading to Esterhold. Why did you say that so ominously? It sounds like you guys are fucking up. It sounds like this is a bad idea. Well, in this situation, there really are no good ideas beyond, I mean, even the mercy killing thing is like, Well, that's the easiest way to avoid the conflict, but at the same time, that would really suck.

Like, God, what if we'd chosen to just kill Jandzia? That was an option. Totally an option. No, no, no. She would have at least tried to kill you back. Right, no, I guess, I would imagine, but I'm just saying. Yeah, that would have been interesting. I'm glad that... Yeah. Alright, so first we're going to go try to find someone to join our party, right? Because three people... Yeah, three people probably not gonna... I need a Blood Mage. It's not gonna work out. We gonna go past Artemis and... Yeah, I was thinking that we need to head back. Yeah, you guys get to collect payment too.

So, wait. That is the first... Wait. Go ahead. Did we test any of the holy water? You kinda did. You tested one. Okay, that's enough. We put them on our weapons and shit too and they burned. You put some on your weapon and you hit one thing and that was like... You guys got in here and completely forgot why you were in here. Leora kinda makes sense. Yeah, yes, yes, I think you did. Leora's kinda got a bloodlust for vampires so she kinda gets caught up in the whole killing them thing. You guys actually had a paying gig and... Oh yeah, the whole testing. So is there like vampire corpses or are they like dust and powder?

Yeah, you kinda dust them when you kill them. Cool. So, okay, making your way back to Aubrey and I guess it's time to try and collect your payment. Yeah, you get to play Artemis. I do. Jatzia is kinda covered in blood. Yeah. Pointedly coming from my neck too. Yeah, it's kinda... Maybe let's wrap a cloak around her. She's wrapped in a cloak. Give her another cloak. How many cloaks do we got? A burrito. Out of necessity, is there like a river or something? Let's see here. Yeah, I mean there'd be a body of water on the way that you can kinda... Should we use any of the holy water?

Sure. Would that work? Don't. Yeah, but you're not a vampire yet. True. Would that like slow down the vampire thing? Would you like to try? What if it hurts? It could be kind of like taking antibiotics. Yeah. Sure, let's try it. So... Religion check maybe? Just so I might know what will happen if that happens? Yeah. Um, yeah, do that. Score high. Ten. Fuck if I know. Dude, dude, you should do it. Dude, dude. Chug, chug, chug, chug. No, you miss a monster drink with a vodka, right? That's the best thing. Throw some arsenic in there. That's the best. Uuna doesn't really know what the hell is gonna happen.

My understanding is you're going to pop one of these holy waters open and then pour it on her wound. Yes. Okay. Uh... Okay, you ever get a really nasty cut and then your mom would pour alcohol in it? Or peroxide or some shit. Yeah, right. Same principle. So, pouring holy water on this, it instantly starts foaming and bubbling and it stings like a bitch. Not like crippling pain or anything like that, but then again you were just bitten. So Jadzia is, like, she's gonna be in a bit of pain. It's instantly, it's exactly that sense like, oomph, like that kind of thing.

And Jadzia's getting the sense that as time goes on that would get much worse had you done that, let's say, a day later or a week later or something like that. You also, while it did wash away a lot of the blood, you're also getting the sense that that didn't do anything disease-wise. Like you are still, yeah, you're still a bit bitten. That changed nothing. Alright. So, you're walking into Artemis' shop here. Now, Artemis doesn't... I think Jadzia's gonna, like, be against the wall. Like, she's not gonna get too close to Artemis. Just in case he sees the marks.

Okay, that's fine. Artemis is gonna greet you guys, kind of walking in. Hey! What? Ah, wait. Where's the rest of your party? They had to go do other stuff. So they're alive? Yes. Alright, alright, cool, cool. Did it work? Yes, the holy water works. And now we get paid. Alright. You're sure it works? 'Cause I can't have any more complaints. I already got clergy on my ass about this. So you're sure? Positive? 100%? Yes. Alright. And I believe you agreed on what, 350? Yeah, I think it was like 350 per person. A person? Hold on a second. I don't think that's... I don't think that was specified.

I'm not sure it was specified either, but I can... I'm just saying he'd haggle about it. That's fine, though, yeah. He is going to pay you each 350. We'll take their shares too. I think I'll just pay Liara next time I see her. No offense, I trust you and all, you seem real honest folk, but yeah, just in case. I'll hold on to it. And he's kinda eyeballing you like, "Fucking, you're not grifting me, like that's not gonna happen." I don't know, I'm not sure I trust this motherfucker. You're not sure you trust Artemis? I know, right? It's kinda weird of me. Who can you trust then?

Look at the three teeth and just know. You know, the insinuation that Artemis is some kind of hick, man, that's just not the case. He's a dapper little gent. He's a mighty fine hat. He does have a mighty fine hat. Businessman. Better than you, see? References! Oh my god, a reference I understood. Amazing. Yeah, now that Scott's not on this particular... I'm not using Google as much. Love you, Scott, if you're listening. Okay. He doesn't listen to this. He doesn't, it's not. He's the rob of your group. It doesn't involve Scott, he's not listening. We're gonna hurt his feelings, it's true, it's totally not true.

So he's gonna hand each one of you your money. You wanna check back in like, three, four days? I should have some kind of progress on your armor. You're gonna tell Leora I did a good job for you, right? 'Cause she can be... She can be moody if she checks in and then thinks I'm trying to screw you guys over. For some reason she's under the impression that I would do such a thing to good folks like yourself. But yeah, just let her know that I'm working on it. Quickly. What reason would she have to think that? Uh, she's crazy. I don't know. She seemed very sane to me.

Those are the craziest ones, man. You gotta really watch out for the ones that look sane. Do you happen to know anybody? We're looking to hire somebody for extra support. Do you happen to know anybody who might be hanging around the silver flagon? Looking for work? Yeah, there's always a couple of people hanging out in there. Anybody impressive? Well, hold on. The big fella you saw in here earlier today... I think he's supposed to be in town for the next two, three days. He's kinda waiting on something for me, so... If you wanna try, go ahead. He's, uh... not very cordial.

Perfect. We'll get along splendidly. Good luck. Anything else I can do for you folks? Is there anything else he can do for us? Not that I can think of. He's going to kinda lock eyes with Jadzia. As a special favor to you, my very loyal customers, you guys are getting some big ticket items, and even though you're not paying for them, I would be remiss if I didn't offer my services and maybe take you out and show you around the town at some point. Specifically you. Like, he's... Can I punch him? If you'd like. Yes. You wanna just swing at him? Just like, "Oh, you fucking piece of filth!" Do I have to roll for that?

Uh, roll an- roll an athlete. Actually, roll a basic melee attack. Against Artie. This is fucking basic. Jyn was gonna be pissed he didn't get the first hit. No, stop basic roll. They don't have to do this, like... Right, 'cause she needs a target. Yeah. Just target Leona. Eleven? Fuck. God. You're used to hitting people the same height as you. You're getting all your bad dice rolls out of the way. Yeah, why would I have so many bad dice rolls? So, you're gonna take a swing at Artemis and he's going to fall backwards. Away from his counter and just kind of like scurry back.

Hey! Hey! I don't know if you're particularly fond of the law or understand it, but here, all of us noble, trustworthy shopkeeps are protected. The law says you cannot touch. Ugh. God. Shut up. How far away from the counter is he? He's about ten feet away now. He scurried back quite a distance just to make sure that Una can't get her fucking mitts on him. Okay. And he's kind of picking himself up and dusting himself off. Okay, let's go. Fucking gross fucking gross. Gross. I'm gonna mutter that. As they walk out, Judzia is gonna look up at Una and be like, "Thanks." My pleasure.

I believe it. Okay. They're a little racist towards gnomes, I'm gonna be honest. You can't just file all gnomes under the category of gross. I don't think we should gnome at any point. It's not like we've never met a delightful, polite, and totally lawful good gnome. There are plenty of them out there. I've never fucking heard of one in Theria ever. Well, maybe someday. Someone should make the sweetest little gnome character. Like a garden gnome of a person. A garden gnome. So I'm guessing you're heading over to the Silver Flagon. Yes. Alright. So this time of day, the Flagon's a little empty.

You don't get the impression that it's a particularly packed place to begin with. But they do offer lovely little rooms for rent, and they have house specials, you can smell food cooking. It's a very warm, kind of a warm-hearth-y type of place. You walk in and it's just really welcoming. Kind of a respite from the road. There is an individual seated in the corner by himself with a drink, just kind of hunched over. Can I make a perception roll? Sure can. Actually, can I make two? I presume the aforementioned guy in the corner is obvious. Can I make a perception roll on just like the whole bar, so everyone in the bar?

Still there. Yeah, just everyone and everything. So that's that. 20? Beyond the large tiefling sitting in the corner by himself, there's a couple of individuals, a couple of females, sitting in the back. Just kind of conversing with each other. One of them is a redhead, kind of clad in armor. And the other one's just kind of wearing these really loose-fitting robes. They look to be a size or two bigger than what she really needs. She would trip over them if she were to try to get anywhere in a hurry. And they're just kind of sitting there conversing. The rest of the bar is pretty much empty, except for what you're guessing is the proprietor, the owner.

So yeah, he's going to kind of like motion. He's like, "Hey, can I help you guys with anything?" We're here to look for some hired help. Oh, yeah, I don't really know of anyone looking for a job. At least no one said anything to me. Can I get you a drink, food, anything like that? A room? I look at the Brianna and Una and Jazzy. It's like, "Do you need anything?" I'm fine. Jazzy will just shake her head and she's staring at the tea flame. Yeah, maybe like, "Phy, do you know how to hire people?" No. I've never really asked for assistance fighting. Say, "I've never done it, but I can give it a go." If you need assistance, let us know.

Okay, I'm going to make a decision check on the big guy in the corner. Jazzy is going to give him her gold, the $350 that they just got, to pay the guy. Okay. You know, because it's kind of her fault. Okay, well, I brought a crit one. He is a large tiefling sitting in the corner by himself. Okay. Appears to be the exact one that you guys wandered past. Well, who wandered past you guys in Artemis' shop earlier in the day. Okey-dokey. Okay, yeah, Phy's going to take a deep breath and then walk over to him. So, there are these beautiful hardwood floors that you're wandering on.

So every step you take is very audible. And he can kind of hear you approach. Like, he's facing away from you guys, like kind of staring at a wall, basically. Like, he's very much in the corner by himself. And he can kind of hear you like you're approaching him. What? You're waiting on Artemis and you've got a few days to kill. And this kind of like uncomfortable silence. And? We are in the same situation. However, we need to visit someone who may not be very friendly. Would it be possible for us to hire you as assistants on our journey? He's going to kind of turn around and look at you.

And he's just kind of like taking the party in. And where would we be going? We would be heading to Esterhold. And how much is this worth to you? Oh, I have no idea. I'm sorry I didn't say that. You're a terrible haggler. I am. Just say something like, "Depends on how successful we are." It depends on how successful we are. Do me a favour. How tall is Fi? Oh, Fi's not that tall, I don't think. 5'8", apparently. 5'8"? Skinny and not very tall. Well, small and stealthy is kind of what Fi's bag is. But beautiful. Yes, gorgeous. Statuesque. I should have tried to charm him.

You're a big boy. That would have been way funnier. Valus is going to go ahead and push away from the table and stand up. And turn around and face Fi. Valus is 6'9". And he's kind of looming, just towering over Fi. And after a second, he's just going to say, "Let me see the money up front." He's just going to pull out the bag that Jadgia gave him. So that's around 3, 350. He's counting it up in his head. And then he's going to kind of regard the rest of your party here. And these are the only people we're going with. Yes. Where's the rest of your party? They've gone for negotiations with other people elsewhere.

Fine. When do you plan on leaving? As soon as possible. He is going to pick up the rest of his drink and just kind of pound it real quick. And put this meaty flagon back on the damn table with a thud. I'm ready to leave whenever. Fantastic. And Fi turns back to the party and starts walking towards them. He is going to follow you back with them. Again, making a lot of noise on these floorboards. Like big hammery steps. As he comes over, Una is going to stick out her hand and say, "I'm Una. What's your name?" Giant man. He's going to look at your hand for a few minutes and then almost with an eye roll just kind of ugh.

And reach out and shake your hand. Valus. And then he's going to look over at Jadgia. And you? Jadgia is probably at this point visibly shaking and she nods her head and goes, "Jadgia." He doesn't even offer, he doesn't really offer his hand or anything. He's just kind of more like you. He doesn't care. He doesn't want to touch you people. Fucking peasants. Plebes. What are these tiny people? Fucking noobs. Goddamn casuals. Oh Warcraft. He's going to kind of eyeball Jadgia for a second. Like if she's visibly shaking, like he's just kind of kind of look her over.

Is there a problem? She's just going to shake her head and like keep her eyes down. Una will kind of step in front of her like, not like say anything, just kind of like, "Mmm." Like, "Don't push it." Yeah, Valus is just going to kind of narrow his eyes at Una. Let's just get going. Do you have a horse? And he kind of, like he's thinking about it for a second. Not anymore, no. That will be our next stop then. Um, there's a stable from what I understand just south of here. Lead the way. Let's say that you guys have spent some money on some horses. Well, now wait a second.

Let me think. You guys wouldn't have any horses. That's true. We would not. Don't we have like one horse? Well, let's say that Brie and Liara left one horse behind. Because they would only need, yeah, that would be kind of a dick move to take all the horses. So let's say, geez man, horses are kind of pricey. I have no money. I just gave it all to Valus. Well, you can ride with Valus then. Well, we have the money that Liara gave us. Yes. And then we have each. So Liara gave you about 500. Okay. And then we have one horse already, right? Yes. Fi and Una still have 350.

Which Fi would split his with Jad's, yeah. It's easier to go, there's one bag, as opposed to going, oh, there's a bag. Well, 350 will get you a regular horse, 500 will get you one of those larger horses. So Valus would have to, like, Valus has got his own money, he's fine. But he's definitely going to get a large horse. And someone can ride with him if they like. He won't like it, but you can. I don't think anyone's going to do that. I mean, we can double up, so like, Una and Jadzia on one horse, Fi on another, or something. Yeah. Well, Una's always had her own horse because of her armor.

That's true. Okay, so Fi and Jadzia. Yeah. Okay. Easy. Alright, so let's, okay, money-wise, let's figure this out here. Who's paying for what? Who's picking up the tab on this one? We're not going to buy Valus a horse, right? No, he's got his own money. Okay. Well, I'll use... He's got my money. I'll use my $350 to buy the horse for me and Jadzia. Okay. So, both Jadzia and Fi are dead broke again. Instantly. But you got a horse! Exactly. And Una is taking the money that Liara... Yeah, so that's $500. There you go. Everyone is dead broke again. Wow, that did not take long.

You're the first paying gig in forever and you're dead broke again. Okay, so. Okay, so on the way to Esterholt. This is a little bit of a trek. Now, the way the pass is, you kind of have to go through this mountain ridge. Yeah, so you're basically going to have to go in between the Blockrock Mountains. There's a pass that leads through that to Esterholt. You would also have to pretty much... Now, you've got to make a decision here. Because this is going to take a while to get to. Like, this is a much longer trek than if you were to go to the swamp. Maybe. Well, I mean...

Danger-wise it's less and there is a road, so you can just follow the road. So that's quicker and you're on horseback. The swamp thing would have been slower just because of how slowly you'd have to trek there and you'd never know what you're going to run into. You have your first decision to make on the road here because you pretty much got to go through Durnhollow. Unless you want to avoid the road entirely and tack on more time. Okay, what's up with Durnhollow? Is that Overwatch territory now? Yep. It is. Thanks to you guys. Yeah, we just did a good job.

But they don't necessarily know that we've defected. I think they do. They hung my father in public. You don't know if they know. But like, the citizens of Durnhollow may not know. If we ride right through, who the fuck is going to care? How big is Durnhollow? Can't we just go around? You can. You totally can. It's just going to tack on a little more time. Because of the way the terrain is, Durnhollow is kind of surrounded by all these hills. So you can go around Durnhollow. It's just going to tack a couple of hours on your journey. It's much quicker to just ride through the town.

I just saw another flaw in our plan. We have a big fucking pipeline. Well... They let him pass through? If it's Durnhollow territory? We know that it's Overwatch territory. But remember, there's the kid at the gates or whatever, and we respect the hell out of him. So he'd be a lot more likely to say "Yes, continue on through!" If we just ride right through... Maybe we should send out a scout real quick? Do you have a scout? He's scouty. Stealth is +12. It's up to you guys. I can do, but wouldn't that just add on a bunch more time? True. Let's just ride around.

I'm dying. Don't pay attention to me. I'm dying. Just do whatever you guys want. I'm delirious from fever. Speaking of which... From Alberty to Durnhollow, that's going to take a while. So here's what's going to happen. Gradually, Jadzi is going to get sicker and sicker until eventually she dies. So at this point, it's very obvious that she's fevered and short of breath. And just generally weaker. And it's something that's very noticeable to the party, to Valus, to anyone that you would come across. It would be pretty as like "Oh wow, you look terrible!" But it looks like a nasty flu, something like that.

It's not like "Hey, you're dying!" It's not super obvious, but it is like "You aren't well. Maybe you should get that checked out." So you want to ride around Durnhollow, is what you're saying? Yep. Okay. You guys can talk, you know? I won't yell at you, I promise. That's going to tack a couple more hours on. Just letting you know. Continuing on your way to Esterhold. In total, this is going to be about a two and a half day journey. Before you decide to ride around Durnhollow, I mean that's only tacking a couple of hours. But yeah, you probably are going to have to break for...

Can we do some sort of heal check to keep Jadzia arrested and shit? Nothing you do is going to stop or slow that down. That is just the facts. Now, you've been on the road now for about a full day. That's a hell of a long time to be riding a horse. Would you like to stop or just keep going? I think we should sleep in shifts on horseback. On horseback? Izzy, have you ever ridden a horse? I've slept on a horse. How? They're so bumpy. You just kind of doze off and... And then you fall off. Do you have narcolepsy? Because you fell asleep getting a tattoo as well. I feel like that's wrong.

Do you have some sort of sleep disorder? Uh, yes, actually. But... Okay, yeah, I knew that one. I mean the kind that makes you fall asleep, not the kind that keeps you awake. No, I do not have narcolepsy. Alright, okay. Well, just checking. I still haven't got an answer. What are we doing? I think we should keep going. Just go as far as... Get to Esthalt as quickly as we can. Alright, that is definitely going to put a strain on you guys. Without killing the horses. Or us. Well, that's also going to put a strain on your horses as well. That's going to slow them down eventually.

And that's going to put stress on Jadzia's body. Ah, fuck. Okay, well, maybe we should rest for like four or five hours then. So, I figure after you guys get past Derenhalu, you want to take a break somewhere? Yeah, while the horses graze and shit. Okay. Okay, so, let's see. Making camp. Off the road. Off the... I would imagine, yeah, you don't want to... Yeah. Kind of off the road here. Valus is going to kind of lean in. Like, it's been hours and hours of silence. And Valus is going to lean in. What's wrong with your friend? I'm imagining that's why we're going to Esthalt.

Think it's fair to let you know. You're not scared of the undead, are you? I've encountered plenty of undead. Okay, well, we were fighting some, and she got bitten. A zombie. No, vampires. Where the hell are zombies? Vampires. Huh. And he's going to kind of look over at Jadzia. Why didn't you just kill her? Jadzia's eyes are just going to kind of narrow immediately, but she's not going to say anything. We already had some motherfucker suggest that. He's still looking at Jadzia. No offense, you understand that you're going to be very dangerous once you turn. Hopefully we can avoid that.

With the war coming up, we need every able-bodied person we can muster. The war. Yes. Do you know of the war? Not particularly. Do you know of Overwatch? Yes. Do you know what they stand for? I do. Well, there's a group who are rounding troops to put the Overwatch down before they spread and infect the rest of Theria with their lies. And you honestly think that they could do something against this city? From what we've heard, they have managed to, at the very least, rally some troops. We... Jason? Yes? Did we find out in Tell that Overwatch were going to march on Winterhaven?

We did, didn't we? Yeah, you would know. You wouldn't know any of the details, but you'd know that's their goal. Yeah. We have no choice. Overwatch are planning on marching on Winterhaven. Once Winterhaven falls, the rest of Theria is in their sights. We've got to fight this war. We've got to win this war. Because otherwise, people like you, people like me, we're just going to be murdered outright, or tortured, and it's not going to be a world that anybody will want to live in. The "people like you, people like me" line is just going to raise an eyebrow. People like you.

I may look human, but I'm not. You change into something hilarious. Do it! Okay, I'm going to do my best to grow horns. Roll a bluff check. 18. What kind of horns are we talking here? We're talking tiefling horns? Something like that? Without being insulting, just as much like Valus' horns. Okay, so... You should have tried to look like the picture of Malchus and the Buck. With buck teeth and all that racist stuff. I remember this one tiefling from this Wanted poster. Let's try and do that. Remember, his eyes are blue. That's going to catch Valus off guard. And what about you?

He looks over at Una. Well, I don't grow horns. But I am half-elf. So you have a vested interest in the Overwatch not spreading any further as well. You could say that, yeah. You understand that that plan is most likely suicide, right? There is no life... I just experienced suicide. There is no life after the Overwatch. If the Overwatch wins, suicide is the better option. So he's going to look back over at Chazia. How long ago were you bitten? How long have we been riding at this point? This would be... let's see... from Aubrey just past Durran Hollow, we're talking a little over a day and a half.

Okay. That's what Jodziel will say. Okay. You most likely don't have a lot of time left. Who exactly are we seeking out in Esterhold? His name is Starmok. Valus is actually going to react to the name. That could be a problem. I know. Do you actually think he'd help you? He might. I'm his wife. Really? Yeah. Why? Like it's a very... Why? Why would you do that? Jodziel is going to look almost offended and she's going to be like, "It wasn't by choice. I think anyone would choose to marry that." Um... Okay. So he's reading into... he's kind of reading into the "I don't think anyone would choose to marry that." And he's not exactly sure if you mean because he's crazy or because he's tiefling.

A little of both. And he's just... how do you mean? Like very, very tenuous. Like, "Bitch, what you talking about?" Jodziel is just going to say... she's going to kind of curl up and wrap her arms around her knees and she's going to say, "He's a monster." Again, that could be a rather either one. Yeah, it definitely could. Yeah, Valus. Just... We'll deal with him when we get there. For now we should either get some rest or get moving again. You, again, don't have much time. Let's say you guys catch a quick nap. And you are going to get back on the road. There's a bit of a problem.

Well, there's always a bit of a problem. You remember back in the day on the group 3 page? I kind of showed you that sphere of influence of the Overwatch and what they control? Yep. Not even a little. No? That's okay. That's okay. That was months and months ago. That was totally cool. Well, crossing... There you go. Wow. Look at Kat on the ball. Kat is on the ball. Damn! Got this shit. There you go. Boom. Well, that is big. That's a lot. Oh, shit. Yeah. Well, the thing is, it's kind of grown since then, thanks to you guys and your hard work. Yeah. Fuck us. Well, I mean...

We're so cool. Like, I mean, specifically there would be a sphere of influence over Durran Hollow now. It would kind of extend basically up into the Pyre Forest. Which is going to make what you got to do a little more difficult because to get through this mountain pass, there's a base camp set up for the Overwatch. Now, the good news is that these appear to be human soldiers. Some of them... Okay, do me a favor. Roll a perception check. I'll do that. All of us or just one? All of us. Eleven. Perception goes well for me. Oh, yeah. Sixteen. Jadzi, I guess, would see the most and that's basically...

Okay, Valus gets to roll. Oh, God, he does. That's right. What is Valus's perception? It's not good. I know that. It's not great. No, he's not perceptive at the... Does he have new armor? Oh, he does. This version of Valus is a fucking monster. Like, you're... he's... yeah. He will not be falling in combat too terribly easy. He's got a perception of five. Twelve. So, yeah, that's not... Valus ain't perceptive. That's not his thing. So, up ahead, you basically see a fairly large grouping of Overwatch soldiers. We're talking... for this little pass, we're talking about, like, twenty to thirty.

Which doesn't sound like a lot, but they're all choked in this... this... this... this one little region here. Not exactly sure how you guys would like to handle it, because your two options are to ride through this mountain pass or ride around, which means you would have to ride around Betrayal Ridge, then south, then all the way to the southern tip of Theria, around Odessia, then up to... coming up underneath of Esterhol. You're talking days of travel. Yeah, I don't think that's... That's not gonna work out for us. Alright, I wanna try to bluff our way through this first, and that doesn't work, attack?

Sounds good. Alright, uh... What's the bluff? Oh no, you're a diplomatic. Do we still have our Overwatch robes? I guess you would, yeah, I mean, you could be representing Team Colors here. Alright, Una, throw that shit on. Go. Okay, yep. Throw my fucking Overwatch robes on. So, here's the rub. You guys have a 6/9 tiefling in your party right now. Prisoner, um... Oh, yeah, he's gonna let us tie him up. Uh... okay, um... Yeah, I think we could pull Prisoner. Yeah, we could do Prisoner, right? The alternative would be, say, get him to... get him to rush forward and have us, like, chasing him.

We don't want them to join the chase, though. No, but obviously that's the only other option I can see. Okay, um... I'm gonna turn to Valus. And say, we may need to, um... give a little performance up here. How do you mean? Like, he's already suspicious of what you're suggesting. What you're suggesting, here. Okay, this seems extremely suspicious. And if I were you, I wouldn't trust anything coming out of my mouth. But at the same time... Good start, you got him. Go. Now, you're saying this as you guys are putting on your fucking Overwatch shit. Yeah. So, he's already starting to withdraw.

Like, you can see him kind of grab the hilt of his blade. Like, he's... he is... like... Oh, you guys are fucking dead. We... Uh, I was gonna say, as soon as Fi sees that Valus is reaching for his blade, he goes, "Oh, no, no, we're defectors. We're just..." Honestly, just... No, no, no, we've betrayed everyone who's ever trusted. Right! Now let us tie you up! Like, he says, "Oh, no, we're defectors." And he kind of has this, "Of course." Like, he's real, like, real, like, "Yeah, fuck you." Like, he doesn't trust any of that. Look, we defect from the Overwatch.

And up ahead is an Overwatch encampment that we have to get through. And the best way to go about doing that is to make it look like... And I know this sounds terrible... You are our prisoner. Now, I realize that sounds horrible. And this could very well, to somebody like you, sound like a ruse to, like, get you out of safety and take you into Overwatch territory. That's exactly what I would think if I were you. I'm just saying that's not what we're doing. We just need to get our friend some fucking help. Diplomacy check? Sure. 17? Plus 13, they got 17? Fuck!

This is gonna go so well. Valus is gonna kind of look over at Jancia, who looks worse than she did the day before. She's starting to get a bit pale, she's obviously favored, she just looks weak, kind of panting. It looks like it's hard for her to catch her breath. And then he's gonna look forward at, like, the encampment in the distance. And what makes you think they're not looking for you? They probably are, but that's a risk we're going to have to take. If it goes badly, we smash face. *sigh* You realize I'm going to be asking extra for this, right? Fair enough.

It's not like we have anything, but then again, we can always lose some bodies. Uh, he kind of narrows his eyes at the "it's not like we have anything." *laughs* Look, we're not that rich, we're just trying to get our friend some help. Fine. How would you like to proceed? *stutters* Alright, you are Domark's nephew. We are going to go hang you in Esterholt to make a point. That's the only reason we bring a prisoner out of Overwatch. Good. Good idea. Alex. Mmm. *sigh* We're gonna make 'em? *laughs* It was a good plan up until you started asking questions.

I think we're going to make them is very Overwatch. Okay, we're gonna hang you right outside the city then. Alright. Try to look morose. Do you need some help? *laughs* That's like clearly a joke, like... *laughs* You realize I can murder you violently, right? Doing a great job. Like, fish out some rope. *laughs* Yeah, I like that. You're a wonderful actor. *laughs* It's inspiring, honestly. One of a kind theft, yeah. Let's do this. He is just grumbling the entire time. Like, he almost pout it. Like, just fuck. This is not what he signed up for. It is pretty much impossible for Valus to take a job and it go smoothly.

So, I'm guessing you're going to tie Valus up. Yeah. Like... I'll try and put the knots so they can be easily cut if we have to start fighting. But, yeah. Pretty, pretty well... It looks like he's tied up nicely. Right. Okay. Still in horseback? Or are you taking him in... Sans horse? I would say that we walk him. We each take one of the horses and he walks behind. Or in front. Okay. So you're leaving his horse behind. Can we put tiny little Jadzia on the horse? Sure, if you like. Yeah. I want to be on the giant warhorse. Here's another one they have. Yeah. It's the last one.

Yeah. So, yeah. Jadzia's on the back of this huge horse. So he kind of dismounts and gets behind. And he's... Yeah. He's going to walk behind you. And he is glaring at Una the entire time. Just pissed. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Just like quietly up the whole mountain. Approaching the encampment. These guys are going to start perking up. This is kind of a remote location. You can tell that they're basically just guarding this pass. That's their job is to check in on who's coming in and out. One of these guys is going to approach you. Specifically Una.

Okay. Hey, where do you think you're going? Can I see his stripes or his insignia or something like that? This guy's lowly. This guy's like a private. Oh, fuck yeah. Okay, I'm just going to say, "Step the fuck back, private!" And he's going to kind of recoil. Who are you? We are the Crimson Shield, right? That's what we were called for two seconds before we defected, right? We're the Crimson Shield. We're taking a prisoner. Are you telling me you haven't heard of us? And he's starting to look around to his voice. Should I have heard of them? And most of them are like, "I have no fucking idea what she's talking about." A couple of his buddies are going to step forward.

They've heard of him. They're going to whisper in his ear. Go ahead and roll perception, please. I might have just fucked us. 27! Crit! Okay. Do you hear this guy mention the Tournament of Champions? Yeah, this guy perks up, "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't know." What is it we could do for you? You can let us go on by, right? That's all we want, right? Do we want anything else? No, no, no. That's what we need, I think. Give us your shoes. If you have any provisions for the trek ahead, that would also be appreciated. He's a little bit extra bright or some shit. Yeah, we may have something.

Hold on. He's doing that thing where he's like, "Go, go!" He's motioning to his boys to hurry the fuck up. And they're going to come back and bring you a sack of... They're going to bring you this sack of provisions. There's some bread and there's some dried meat and stuff like that. Someone in the back is kind of hearing all this. There's kind of a commotion now at this point. Someone in the back is just kind of looking over this. And he's looking at Una. And you can see him kind of narrow his eyes. He's like, "Where have I seen you before? Where have I seen you before?" That kind of look.

And he's going to walk back to this tent that they have set up. Let's keep going, guys. Move on. Move on. Let's get out of here. Come on. As soon as I have the sack, I'm going to say, "Thank you," and just "Bwah!" forward. Dragging child. I was about to say, are you kind of taking off, kicking things? Like you're moving quickly? Just as if you were moving out. Keeping up the illusion. Right. Your horse is going to jerk forward and pull Valus. Just tug him forward. And he makes this sound like... Aggression. Whatever. You can just feel aggression coming off him because of all this.

Now, just about the time that you're moving past this checkpoint that they have set up. That guy's going to emerge from the tent again. Do me a favor and roll a Perception check. Dicks. Sixteen. Checking behind you, he's holding a grouping of what appear to be posters. Shit! Let's go! Okay, Valus, get on the horse. Let's go. And he is very much talking to this, that private you guys talk to. And you can see in the split second that it takes him to fucking look at these and that's them. It's taking you just a couple of seconds to put together that those are wanted posters.

You had to have a bunch of really conspicuous tattoos, didn't you? I wear armor, you can't see them. Well then they're looking for the bitch with plate armor. That's true. Okay, uhh... Valus, get on the horse. Can we run? Can we just... Oh, you can take off if you'd like to just start sprinting, but Valus is being drugged behind you. I will come up behind Valus and get him to hop on. I'll get past this whole typhoon thing if it means we live, come on. I'm just going to yell, "Valus, get on the fucking horse!" And just drop the rope so he can jump on the horse and just fucking go.

Valus gets the bitch seat. So, okay. Shit starts going crazy as these guards are mobilizing, they're getting together. It's like, "Hey, hey!" They're trying to stop you. Valus is going to kind of awkwardly claw at Jatzia's horse because his fucking hands are tied together. I was going to say, can I take out my dagger and just really quickly... If you'd like to take the extra time. Do it. Do it. Yeah, that couldn't take too long. Acrobatics? Athletics? Athletics. Do an athletics check to kind of lean your ooze. You slit his wrist? Oh my god! Oh my god. I'm really sick.

Oh my god, you stabbed him in the eye! Now there are several contributing factors to why you'd roll a five. You were very sick, you were on horseback, you're panicked because you're being chased. For whatever reason though... And I just suck in general, so... You take out a knife and stab Valus in the arm. Now, there's a moment of recognition in Valus's eyes. As you lean over and it's like, "Here, I got it!" Stab, like, right in the arm. Like, right in the meaty forearm. And his eyes go wide. With a cross of... She's gonna apologize immediately. Well, it's kind of a cross of "What the fuck?" and "Ow." So, like, this is sick.

Are you pulling the knife back? You're supposed to leave it in, right Kyle? Just get him on the horse! I'll use it as an anchor to pull him... No, just kidding. I'm not gonna play again, so... So now his hands are tied, and he's got a stab wound in the arm. And he's gonna... It takes a few seconds to just... Fuck! Like, that really hurt. And he is going to reach up with both of his arms and just kind of claw at the back of Jadzia's... Her cloak and body. Just using... He has no leverage on this, so he's just kind of pulling with all of his might. Do me a favor, Jadzia.

While you're assisting in being, you know, just a body. Basically, you're making a check now to not fall off the back of this fucking horse. God damn it! So, Valis is a pretty large dude, and instead of being able to pick himself up, he's basically just like, "Ugh!" [Laughter] So, check. It's gonna be Arcana, right? [Laughter] Do I have the endurance? Do I have really good endurance? Mmm... Yes, I do. Endurance? I would say this... Let's say it's an endurance check, just to stay on this horse. It's taking everything you've got to like... You're just straining to stay up on it.

Like, you're holding on... You're in the stirrups, and you're holding on to the... What the hell do they call that thing on the saddle? Saddlehorn? If it's a western saddle. Sounds like it. Yeah, okay. So, yeah, you're holding on for dear life. So, go ahead and roll an endurance check, please. Jesus, take the wheel! 20! Jesus, take the wheel! D&D, ladies and gentlemen. Jesus, Driven. [Laughter] Corb, take the wheel. Yeah. Um... Okay, so, that is... Okay, so, let me describe the scene. Hearing the Overwatch troops just holler at you guys. Then, it's... Panic sets in.

Lean over. Stab. More panic. Pain. Valis reaches up and starts clawing at the back of Jadzia. Jadzia is... She looks like a Marlin that's been hooked. And just like... Like, she's... It's taking everything in her power to stay in this saddle and not fall off the back of this horse. And she's... Valis eventually kind of claws his way into the back of her saddle. And he can't really hold on beyond, like, his fingertips. So, what he's gonna do is reach his arms over Jadzia's body. 'Cause they're lashed together. And kind of like... Kind of like forcefully hug her.

To stay on. Yeah, and he's just gonna be like really tight against her because he has no fucking choice in the matter. And I'm imagining you guys are taking off down the road. Yeah, I'm gonna take off that. Okay. So, yeah, you guys are going... Now, it doesn't appear as though these guys have horses. So, it would appear as though that you're going to get away from them. Yay! So successful. It isn't too bad. We got like a sack full of food out of it. I think that needs to go straight to Valis. Yeah, seriously. Just like take your pick. So, after you guys get away from these troops and you're down the road enough that it shouldn't be a worry.

Valis is going to start to fucking squeeze at Jadzia. And he's gonna say, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Like this nasty bear hug. He wants to hurt you in some fashion. This is when you cough up blood and make him feel terrible. Honestly, I think that's actually what's going to happen with Jadzia. She's gonna start rocking and she's gonna say, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." But she's freaked out because she hasn't been that close to a large tiefling for a while now. Can I trot up next to him and try to heal his shit? Yes, yes, totally. Probably a good idea.

Is the knife still in his arm? I think I decided to leave it. By the way, it's enchanted. Be careful. What is it enchanted with? I think it's just +1. It's just a magic weapon. Let me look it up. Because the first time I made the character it was one of those kind that likes to hurt people, but then we went down to level 1. And I just got a normal one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It likes to hurt people. That sounds like such a cool weapon. The blade of the hemophiliac. You get it and you just bleed out. Okay, so yeah, this cut into him pretty good. It made a nice little hole.

Should I roll for damage? You should. You really should. Plus one. Four. Alright, so four damage to Vellus. Dagger's still in his arm, still tied up, kind of tightly embracing Jatsuya. One, to not fall off the horse, and two, because he kind of wants to hurt her a little bit. Or at least to show her I could fucking hurt you. What are you doing stabbing me? You know, in character, just entirely in character, I think Jatsuya would struggle and might try to knock them off the horse. Okay, then I think that that is what we should do. I'm dedicated to playing the character, guys, I swear.

As you should be. Athletics? It's only plus two. Hold on a second. Let's see here. Technically this is a grab. Alright. So what you can do is you can, you get a choice, actually. Let me make sure I got this right. Yes, so it's strength versus, I'm sorry, to escape the grab, it's acrobatics versus reflex or athletics versus fortitude. So basically you're picking which you think would be lower on Vellus. Well, that would probably be reflex. My acrobatics is better than my athletics. This is gonna go well, let's see. 19. At least we're both falling. I'm not being a bitch.

I'm taking damage too. And I'm sick. Now, normally, okay, so because he's stabbed and a bit off balance and behind you, so what you're going to do is basically struggle and fall backwards is what you're saying? Uh, yeah, I think so. Okay, I'm gonna allow that, totally. So what's gonna happen here is, so, okay, Una rides up to see if she can help and Jadzi just starts wildly struggling. And then falls backwards. So Vellus is gonna tumble ass over end over this horse. And Jadzi is just going, he's gonna land flat on his back and Jadzi is going to land on top of him.

And it's just kind of this, like this, like this awful, like... Now, since his, since his hands are lashed together, he doesn't let go of the grab. So you're just kind of laying on top of his prone body. So that didn't exactly, didn't exactly get you where you want to be. It just kind of, um, Vellus is going to move his hands up and try and wrap them around your throat. He is definitely going to try and choke you with this rope now. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna leap off the horse and, like, yank the dagger out of his arm so he stops. Okay, you yank the dagger out of his arm and he just kind of recoils in pain for a moment.

And then I'll heal him. Just like her torture methods. You can never quite tell when Una's helping someone, or... Don't be fair with Jadzi, you can't either. Oh. So, Vellus does have that rope up around Jadzi's throat, but he's not squeezing. And he kind of goes wide-eyed and then narrows his eyes at Una. But everything kind of stops for a second. Like her pulling, that's like, that's like if you get in a fight with your brother and your mom's flipping the switch on him and it's like, "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" Like, it's a very, like, everyone's like, "What?

What are you doing?" So they're on the ground and he's looking up at you with his fucking, with his wrists basically around Jadzi's throat, just looking up at Una. But, like, not doing anything. Not squeezing, just kind of looking up at her. Just kind of squinting. I'm definitely looking down with like a warning, like, "You fucking, I'm holding this dagger in one hand, like, you do anything and, like, not saying it, but like implying." I will turn these horses around. [Laughter] And he seems to consider it for a while. Like, he's thinking, he's definitely thinking about it.

You can almost see him do the math in his head. It's like, "How quickly can I kill her and then get free of her to kill you?" Like, he's definitely thinking about it. V pipes up and says, "Valus, what are we paying you for?" And he stops for a minute. And then, like, slowly he kind of gives slack in his arms and loosens his little grip around Jadzi's throat. As he does that, I'll, like, I'll cut the ropes. Do I have to do a check for that, or can I be reasonably expected to perform normally? Stop the arm. Yeah, no. You're fine, like, to lean over. There's no rush.

You're not in a rush or whatever. So you could just lean over and kind of cut the rope. Um, and immediately he kind of, he just kind of, like, uses his arms to push off and kind of uses his legs to kick Jadzia off of him. Like, he's just kind of, he rolls her off kind of aggressively. And Jadzia was already in the motions of moving off anyway, so. Right, yeah. Sorry, Scurry in the hell away. Right. Um, and he's kind of picking himself off and kind of, like, kind of stretching and it's obvious that the fall kind of hurt him just a little bit. Like, it was very much a thing, it's like, ugh.

So he's stretching and he looks at Una, "That was an excellent plan you had." "Thank you for your cooperation, by the way. I know it's not, uh, not easy to do that." Um, he's gonna start walking back to his horse. "Let's just get to Esterhold so I can get rid of you." And he looks over at Jadzia, "You ride alone." Like, he just, he's like, not, just meaning, like, you're not getting on this horse again. Get the hell away from me. Just, just get out. Um. Fucking sourpuss. "You did stab him!" "Thank you!" "Just trying to help." Jadzia, apologize for stabbing Mr.

Vallis. "I'm sorry." Making it past, making it past that Overwatch checkpoint in grand style, went off without a hitch. Fantastic job. You are going to, you're pretty much on an, kind of an open stretch of rocky road. It is, uh, it's pretty much smooth sailing from here. Now, uh, again, you've been on the road for a while now. You might want to bed down again. Uh, it would be coming on, like, nightfall. So, Jadzia's looking pretty worse for the wear. Like, she's, she's looking pretty shitty. Would it help if we stopped? Or, like, would it just, like, at this point, like, would it waste, would it just be wasting time that we could spend, like, getting her there?

Or what? Well, I mean, that's the risk/reward of it. Like, you can push, you can push forward, but it's a strain on, it's a strain on her body. But, by taking, taking a break and letting her get some rest, you're taking time. So, it's all kind of, picture it like a car that's overheating. Like, you can, you can, you can either, like, try and get it down the road a bit further, or you can pull over and, and kind of spend some time, like, letting it cool off. Yeah, but the car doesn't have, like, a ticking time bomb in it. We don't know that. Totally up to you guys.

This is the part where you speak. Yeah, yeah, I was going to say, using the car analogy, then it would be wise to rest. I don't know how, I don't know what state everyone else would be in if we did or didn't rest. Or would it be, like, for the rest of us, would it be exactly the same state regardless? Well, Valis was actually injured, so it would be good if he got a rest. Yeah, it would be good if he got a rest. Yeah, it would be good if he got a rest. Yeah, it would be good if he got a rest. So you're going to bed down and make camp? Sounds good. So you've got yourself a fire rocking and...

Is there anything you want to say to each other or is it just kind of like take a break and then... Again, it should be mentioned Jadzia looks terrible. Like really, really terrible. She's kind of ashen and just very, very sickly. It looks like the blood's being drained out of her. Like she looks very, very ill. Like she's shaking, like incredibly fevered. It won't be too much longer where she'll... It's a painful death. I should probably mention it. I don't know if I mentioned that before. It's a shitty, painful, awful death. Because she's essentially going to drown in her own fluids.

Sounds attractive. It's terrible. And that's pretty much the most painful part of it and then she gets to come back. Shit. So nothing we can do can really help? Not the vampires and not the illness, no. It's basically watching her suffer right now. If I punch her and knock her out, will that help her at all? You could try that. Would you like to try that? No. No, no. No, Una. Down. Can I punch this problem? I just want to punch this cancer in the face and then everything will be fine. How's anyone tried that, honestly? All this money into cancer research. Has anyone tried punching the problem just once?

I'm going to punch this fucking vampirism out of you. Oh god, that's problematic. So this... yeah, Valus is going to kind of look over at her. And he's still kind of... well, in two regards I guess, he's still kind of sore about being stabbed. But he is going to kind of venture over after a while. He's going to venture over to Jadzia. Is there anything I can do to help you? I don't think anyone can help me right now. I'm sorry for hurting you as much as I did. The first time was an accident. I gathered that after a while. It's fine. Your friend healed me. It's not bleeding anymore.

I'm fine. I would say you're in much worse shape. So... how long did you know Darmok? Darmok? When I was little, I think he bought me. I don't really remember. But when I was 15, he came and he took me. And my mother said he was going to be my teacher, but I knew she was lying. And as soon as we got into his carriage, he made his intentions very clear. Valus is kind of looking down while you're telling him the story. I'm sorry to hear that. I've really only heard stories about him, but he hasn't exactly done a lot to ingratiate tieflings to the rest of humanity.

I can only imagine that's why you gave me the look you did. After everything that happened with Darmok, my father had to take me in, and I joined Overwatch. My father taught me how to feel about tieflings. He told me that they're all monsters like Darmok. Then a few weeks ago, he put a tiefling on my team and told me that, "No, no. Some of them can be trusted." Now I don't know how to feel. Well, I did take your money, so I'm going to do my best to keep you safe from him. Though I can't guarantee how this is all going to play out. From what I heard, he's very powerful and very dangerous.

Though I'm sure you already know that. You heard correct. There is a chance that Darmok was never quite stable. He made me pretend. When we were together, I had to smile and be his wife and pretend that I loved him. Because if I even flinched, he would torture me. But as long as I played along, I think he really did believe that I loved him. We'll have to see how it turns out. Is your plan to simply walk back into his life? To pretend that you've never left at all? I'm pretty good at reading him. If his mentality will let me do that, that's what I'll attempt.

I also tried to kill him the last time we were together. If he remembers that, there's no chance that he'll try to cure me. That could be a problem. It maybe should have been mentioned before. We should get some sleep. We can head into town in the morning. So let's say that you guys have gotten a little bit of a rest. And you are riding into the town of Esterhold. So Esterhold is a unique little place. They're close enough to the Overwatch to feel political pressure from them. They've never been invaded. They've never been attacked aggressively. But they do share some of the same sentiments as the Overwatch.

As they have been attacked by groups of tieflings and such. They've kind of had a problem with tieflings in the past. Darmok not being an exception to that. He lives in the city and is quite wealthy and powerful. So no one can really chase him out. But at the same time, they don't really want him there. And he lives in quite a large manor on the edge of town. Now, how would you guys like to deal with this? I mean, time is kind of the essence. Is this the thing where you're riding right to his manor? Yeah, I would say that. Alright. So... Oh god. This could go so so so badly.

Let's say you ridden to Darmok's Manor, which is this towering... It's about three stories tall, but it's this huge place. It's almost the largest place in town. Next to the city hall. It's an even larger manor belonging to someone else. But this is nothing to be shirked off. This is a pretty impressive place to live. It's also surrounded by these gorgeous gardens. Just tons of different kinds of roses. Tons. It looks like someone is just cultivating different types of roses at all times. This is finely manicured and just a beautiful looking place. Who would like to knock on the door?

Who would like to give this a shot? I'll do it. I'll knock on the door. With Jadzia, maybe. Just a quick question. Are we in our Overwatch dance? That's a good question. Yeah, it's not. Fair enough. So you're taking off the colors. You have your basic armor on and stuff. Okay. Here we go. Una is going to knock on the door and after a couple of seconds this frail, older man, a human, is going to answer. Can I help you? Do I recognize him? This, yes, you actually would recognize him. This would be Darmak's version of Alfred, basically. His name is Jeffrey. He's the lone servant in the entire manor.

Normally a place this large would have a staff. But this guy is the... You're not exactly sure, but you get the impression that this is the only guy Darmak trusts. For whatever reason. In his crazy mind it's like, "Oh no, Jeffrey's cool. I know Jeffrey." But he wouldn't trust anybody else around his stuff. So yeah, this guy is ancient looking. He looks like he's basically in death's waiting room. Right. So Judziel will take off her hood and kind of take a deep breath like, "Ah, here we go." And say, "Hello Jeffrey. I'm here to see my husband." So Jeffrey's going to recoil just a little bit like, "Oh shit." Now Jeffrey knows all about Darmak and his mental instability.

You showing up is not going to make his day good. Because, best case scenario, he'll accept you back with open arms and everything's great. And thinks you're probably going to get bad again eventually. Like that's best case scenario. Worst case scenario, you guys are going to try and murder each other. Either way, Jeffrey's day just got shitty. "Ahh. Welcome back, Miss Grace. Please come in." And he kind of steps aside and lets the group in. He is going to take a note. He's going to notice that towering above you guys is Valus. And kind of like a tiefling in Esterhold is a little weird beyond Darmak.

But you all come striding into the house. "Would you like to see him alone or are your friends going to join you?" She's going to look up at Oedon and Valus and see what they think. "We're coming with you." Even Valus is shaking his head like, "Yep, that's probably for the best." "Can I make a perception check on where we are at the moment?" "Please do." "Eighteen." Eighteen. So kind of coming into this foyer that's, again, beautifully decorated. Like this place, for all the stories you've heard about Darmak, you figure, "Okay, here's my stuffed collection of black ravens.

Here's a pile of eyeballs that I just got on this. Don't touch them. That's my stuff." You just picture a homeless guy crazy. You're not getting that vibe at all from this place. The beautiful manicured garden out front. Everything is very gorgeously decorated. Almost welcoming. It's very welcoming, actually. So the room you're standing in is kind of just beautifully furnished. You do notice something a little strange in the next room. The next room is a dining room that's kind of opened up. That's not the strange part. What's strange is it's this huge horseshoe table that's set up for multiple people to eat.

Not just set up. Fully lavished with four-course meals. I mean, this huge banquet was set for seemingly no one. Post-party? He's gonna turn to Jeffrey, did you say? Yes. Jeffrey and say, "You got guests already?" We... I... I am to set that up every day. No one has ever eaten there. That's an awful lot of waste. That's your reaction to the crazy thing in the world? There are people starving in Tharia, Jeffrey. It's tempting to just sidle up and start snacking. Yeah, that's like what? That's no food. Yeah, let's eat this food. We've been on a long trip, can we just...

Be safe as hell, yeah. Are you motioning towards the food? No. Okay. It's the crazy guy's food. But it's safe. Is there a reason why you do this every day? I'm... It was requested of me quite some time ago. I'm only to cook the food and serve it. I dispose of it after a couple of hours. It's been that way every day now for many years. Fair enough. Jadzia is going to ask Jeffrey. She's going to look at him and go, "How is he?" You mean today? Yes. More lucid than I've seen him in quite some time. Through sheer luck, I would say that you've picked an excellent day to attempt whatever it is you're trying to do.

And he's kind of taking a second look at you as you're talking, and he can see that you're not well. What's the matter with you, Jadzia? What happened? I was bitten by a vampire. And then he kind of closes his eyes in recognition, kind of a Gandalf-esque "I will take the ring" type of thing. It's like, "Oh, I know what you're doing. That's not good." You think that Darmok could be of some assistance to you? I hope so. You know where his study is, correct? Yes. I'm assuming I do. You do? Well, yeah. You lived there. Then I'll leave you to it. If you need anything, please just holler.

Scream. That's kind of what he's hinting at. I imagine that's what you'll be doing anyway if something goes terribly wrong. Jadzia's going to say thank you. And he's going to kind of give this head nod, and then he's going to lean in and kind of embrace you, almost a hug. Just kind of like he feels for you. This is a shitty situation. You got out, and now you have to come back. And then he's going to kind of wander off. Just kind of shuffle along. Like, the guy's ancient. Like, he's fucking dust wrapped in skin. That's basically what this guy is. Well... Here we go.

Alright. It would be great if you just had a pleasant conversation. Like, all this build up from like, "Oh, that guy's not so bad." Maybe it'll go that way. Maybe he'll just heal me, and then we'll be on our way. Who knows? Just like, Xs running into each other like, "Oh my god! How have you been? Oh, that's great. You need some healing? Okay." How's the dog? How's my dog? Everyone do me a favor and place your characters in... Let's say you walk into a study. Right here. This region. Right in there. Please. Are all of our characters going to fit in there? Yeah, we'll see.

Alright. Let's get Darmok. Oh shit, look at him. He looks scary. That is the intent. He's not very pleasant looking. No, he's not a very pleasant person. Okay, so the way this is set up is just off the dining room is this guy's study, which is a fairly large room. Again, very well furnished. Everything's very beautiful looking. Walking into the study, Darmok's reading something, and he's kind of scrawled out on this couch. The guy's wearing very elegant robes, and the guy looks, by tiefling standards, pretty damn handsome. There's also something menacing about him.

There's also just the way he carries himself. There's something off. Hearing you guys kind of traipse into the room, he looks up from what he's reading. He kind of scans over the party. Now, Valus is kind of the eye-catcher in the room. He kind of scans the party and then sees Jadzia. He drops the book that he's reading, and his eyes go wide and he stands up. He starts to cross the distance in the room to Jadzia. He's got his arm outstretched and his hand kind of like... He's going to try to grab at something gently, and he's walking straight up to Jadzia.

Unless she resists... He's going to step in front of her a little bit, not eclipsing her, just like "You might not want to get any closer." Jadzia's going to close her eyes, kind of like in acceptance. She realizes that this could either be a gentle caress, or he might punch her in the face. He's going to pay no mind to Una. His eyes almost appear to be glazed over. He doesn't notice anyone else in the room but Jadzia now. He's going to gently take Jadzia's face in his hand. He's got these unkept fingernails. That's the only thing that's really unkept about him.

He's pretty well-manicured, pretty well-coiffed. He looks like he's got his shit together. Then he's going to kind of gently trace his thumb up and down Jadzia's cheek. Using the ridge of his nail, it's insanely creepy spectacle-wise to see. He's running his thumb up and down Jadzia's cheek. After a few seconds, he's going to take his hand away. Then he's going to take a swipe at Jadzia's face. He's going to try and claw at her, just kind of a slap/claw. More of a disrespect thing you would gather than outright, well it's spousal abuse is what it is. What do I have to roll to stop that from happening?

You can roll an athletics check. Okay. God that would be really embarrassing if I missed. At least I tried. It's almost like if you stab a teammate trying to help them. Yeah, kind of. 12 is not going to do it. Dormak's going to rear back and open palm, just bear claw the shit out of Jadzia's face. And it will draw blood. I'm used to that today. Yeah, but you're used to drawing the blood. Vampire thing was a couple of days ago. But whatever. Now, Una steps forward to try and stop this but isn't quite quick enough. Thales is going to go ahead and sidle up right behind Jadzia now.

And kind of grab her by the shoulders and pull her back. Good idea. Just to kind of get a nice five foot gap away from Dormak. I'm going to squeeze myself right in between them. Okay. I'm going to try and get a nice five foot like no. Little bit of life. How does Jadzia react to being hit in the face? She was pretty much expecting it. So she wouldn't be really surprised. She might be a little bit shaken because she's terrified of Dormak. Before we get into the roleplay, anything nice she says to Dormak will be a bluff. Because she hates the guy. She looks visibly shaken but she'll put up her hands and say, "It's okay.

She needs to get what she wants." Dormak for the first time is noticing other people in the room. That kind of like, "Wait, what?" Everyone swarming like a SWAT team around Jadzia after the hit. And Dormak is going to kind of almost try and push past Oona to get back like, I hate to say it, but within striking distance of Jadzia. And again, he's kind of locking eyes with her. "You've returned to me, child." "You can't know how happy this makes me." And again, he's trying to reach out and touch her face again. "I warned you. I warned you." "That is a really good creepy voice." "Oh, dude.

Oh, God. I gagged." "I warned you. Told you." "I warned you." Yeah, he is going to try and touch her face again. Unless someone stops him, he's going to go for it again. He doesn't see where anything's been done that was wrong. And he's going to place his palm gently over where he hit you before. There are a few mild cuts where his nails graze your face. And his palm is kind of smearing the blood around. And it's not making the mental connection for him that he hurt you. He's just like, to him it's a very loving gesture. "Where did you go? Where have you been, Jadzia?" Jadzia is going to try to shake off the fear.

He's going to say, "I'm dying." "Darmok, I'm dying." She's going to try to keep it very simple because he's crazy. She doesn't want to get too complicated for him. "I need your help." "I've missed you ever so much. You really have no idea." Let me try and phrase this. He seems to be getting aroused the more he touches you. He's really fucked up in the head. He's not recognizing that there are other people in the room again. He is not acknowledging the fact that he just struck you. None of that. His hand is trembling, touching your face. And it doesn't even seem to connect that you just said you were dying.

And after a few minutes, he's going to run his hand down your cheek and under your chin. And then slowly, he's raking his nails down your neck. But very, very gently. He's not trying to draw blood or anything. It's just this weird possession thing. He's like dragging his hand down your chin and neck. And then he's going to feel the bite. And for the first time, there seems to be some recognition in his eyes. And he kind of snaps out of his own weird little stupor for just a second. "You're hurt. Who did this to you? How could this happen?" "Darmok, a vampire bit me.

And I'm going to die unless you help me." And she's shaking like, "Ew, ew, ew, he's touching me, he grows." Valis is still kind of, he still kind of has his hands on your shoulders from behind. And you can feel him reflexively grip your shoulders like this gross fuck. He wants to pull you back in the worst way. So, Darmok's kind of, he's listening to you, "I would do anything for you, Jadzia. You know that." And he's, again, he slides his hand back up to your face, and he's kind of running his thumb over your lips. "Please, tell me child, what can I do?" And he's almost panicked, like he seems to really...

Listeners at home, you can't see this. Izzy's currently freaking the fuck out in our chat. "No, no, no, ew, ew, ew, no, no, no." "I can't even look, I have to mute myself because I'm just like, ugh, ugh, it hurts." "I'm like patting myself down, like I'm covered in ants, just like, ugh." "It's like the verbal, like of like spiders just crawling all over you." "Jason, you're good. You do crazy." "I'm good at being really creepy, yes, thank you." "Yes." "Alright, Jadzia's going to start nodding like, oh, okay, I'm getting to him." "Your magic, your blood magic.

Someone told me you could stop the curse. Please, my love." "I should probably roll a love check for that." "Yeah, on that one." "And she's going to reach up and touch his hand while she says it. Oh, fuck." "Oh." "That's eleven. Wow, this is going to end in a fuck." "He is hell of delusional." "He is, he is." "So maybe even like a shitty bluff?" "Um." "He is hell of a delusional." "Eleven, that's pretty big, you roll a true and a one." "It's higher than a ten though." "This is true." "In perspective." [Laughs] "There's something that's going to kind of click in his face." "After the, like, the, the, the, the, oh, use your magic to him, and then the my love part." "But you left me." "You don't love me at all, you, you're just here to use me." "And his hand is going to start clenching around your face, like it's, it's much, like..." "The way he has your face now, it's very, like his nails are digging into the same cheek that he struck you in." "And his thumb is kind of right on the other side of your mouth, pushing in." "She's going to immediately start lying." "She's going to yell out, 'No, no, they took me, they took me from you.'" "'Cause, you know, he's crazy, he doesn't even know who they are." "Right, right, roll a bluff check please." "Twenty-seven!" "Yes!" "Holy shit, thank god." "Can we still use blood magic if we kill him?" "You know, we just prop his body up on a stick." "Right." "But, like, can we use his blood?

Is he magical, like?" "He's, well, it's a form of, like, it's like being a mage, like, you have to have the skill to do it, it's not just his blood, it's just, yeah, blood is like a fuel for blood mag, blood mages, like, it's, yeah." "It's an ingredient in, yeah." "So Jadzia's going to try and talk him down, she's going to, like, yell out, 'They took me, they took me, please, they took me, I love you so much,' like, 'Fine.'" "He is going to, so, it, it, like, you're, you look upset as you're telling him." "Mhm." "And he is going to, like, loosen his grip on your face and then slide his hand back, to right around the back of your neck, and pull you in towards him." "So that you'd be resting your face against his chest, and he's going to take his other, his other hand and just start, like, tremblingly, like, stroking your hair." "It's, it's alright, it's alright Jadzia, I, tell me who took you, I'll, I'll, I'll get my retribution against them, they'll regret ever taking us away from each other, they split us apart, I'll make it better, and he's, he's, he's, he's, like, very-" [Laughter] "So, yeah, he is very, like, Valus's, Valus's hands are still on your shoulders, like, he's leaning forward now to kind of go with the action, but it's, he is about, you can feel, like, by his grip, it's like he's two seconds away from yanking you back, like, he is-" "Such a calming situation. Alright, um, Jadzia's going to stay, um, trying to think as quickly as possible, just like, the vampires, the vampires were the one that took me, these people, they saved me, Darmot, but, but before the vampires died, they bit me, and I'm going to die too, unless you help me." "Um, he is going to abruptly let go of you, like, as quickly as he started touching you, he's just going to stop, like, it just, like, boom, like, just let you go, and then he's going to spin around to Una, um, and he's going to reach his hand out-" "No, stop, stop, don't, don't, please, I'm going to die." "He's going to reach his hand out, and kind of start petting the top of Una's head." "Ughhhhhh, grit your teeth, grit your teeth." "You, you saved my Jadzia, and he's going to, like, start, like, running his fingers through Una's hair, like the top of Una's head, um, and then absentmindedly with his other kind of clawed hand, he's going to reach out for Fi." "But, it's not a loving embrace so much as he's trying to grab the top of, uh, like, the collar of, of Fi's armor, and he is going to just start, like, pulling him in close, and, like, as he's, as he's, like, stroking the top of Una's head, um, he's going to turn his head, without turning his body, like, turn his head almost like an owl, like his, like his joints are kind of fucking weird." "And, like, almost like an owl, like, turn around and look, like, dead into Fi's eyes." "I want to thank you so, so much." "Like, still kind of massaging the top of Una's scalp, um, and just gripping Fi, like, he, he's got this, like, like his hand is shaking, you can feel the vibration of it, like, like you can feel him shake, uh, as he's, as he's talking to Fi." "Fi, Fi, Fi is going to grit his teeth a bit, and then go, um, 'Curing Jadzia is all, is, is all the thanks that we need.'" "Yeah, I'm going to chime in and say, like, we did save her, but unfortunately, we weren't very fast in coming here, we were delayed by many things. You, you need to help her, now." "Um, and he's going to let go of the both of you, and then focus back on Jadzia." "Now I'm going to see how creepy I can make this." "Um." "Meeting myself?" "No!" "For the best, yeah." "That's my gauge, that's my, that's the, that's the crazy, creepy gauge, it's like how, okay, I'm on the right track, good." "Um, he is going to take Jadzia's face in, in his hands, and like, gaze into her eyes, like, piercingly gaze." "Um, and there's this awkward silence that seems to last for many, many seconds." "Um, and then kind of tilting his head like a dog that doesn't, doesn't hear you, doesn't understand, he's going to start, like, looking at the, the wound, like he is, he takes, he takes his hand and slides it down the collar of Jadzia's, Jadzia's, like, cloak and her armor and stuff." "And he's going to start peeling it back." "Um, like, kind, like, it's, it's gentle, but there's force behind it, and he is, like, gradually sliding her clothing essentially over her shoulder." "Um, and he's, the entire time he's looking at the bite, he's not taking his eyes off the bite, and he is continuing to try and disrobe her." "Nope!" [laughter] "He's got more than, like, shoulder gets exposed, and his nuts are coming off." [laughter] "I think Jadzia would actually be too frightened to move, so she's just going to sit there and take it, but, uh, if anyone else wants to, uh, resort to this, she'd really appreciate it." "Is he, is he clearly trying to take her clothing off?" "Um, at first it looks like he's trying to investigate this bite." "And then once that's uncovered and he continues to keep going, it doesn't look like..." "Fee, Fee, Fee is gonna, just gonna..." "How, how is the bite?" "Um, he is going to, uh, let go of, uh, Jadzia with his left hand." "And he is going to reach over to Fee's mouth, and kind of put his index finger up to his lips, to silence him." "Shhhhhh..." "And continue to try and take-" "Yeah, okay, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna grab the hand that's, like, moving both ways, just, like, grab his fucking wrist, and just, like, squeeze." "Okay." "Oh, so much about diplomacy." "Do you?" "Um, and, okay, okay, and then I'll say, like, 'We need to take care of the bite.'" "Diplomacy check." "Okay." "Twenty." "Twenty.

Okay." "Um, okay, he, that, he kind of, he kind of stops what he's doing at first, he, his eyes kind of go wide when you pull his wrist back, like, you're..." "Yeah, that's, that's a violation of his personal space, almost, that's what it looks like." "Oh, is it?" "I know, in all irony, like, that's the..." "It's like, 'Hey, no touching,' he's kind of weird about it." [Laughter] "And, um, he's gonna..." "Um, he is, he's, he's gonna kind of get his shit together for a second." "And Jadzi is, like, not very, but, like, partially a disrode, like, the, the one, like, he is, like, like, I imagine, like, she's wearing, like, very, um, almost like, picture like Littlefinger from Game of Thrones, like, that kind of, like, like, covered head to toe type of thing." "Yeah." "And I imagine he is just, like, he was slowly unbuttoning, like, with his thumb and index finger as he, like, traced down with his other finger, like, very, like, this is a practiced motion, like, maybe he has done this to her before." "And, um, like, he, he kind of stops what he's doing, and while he's doing that, Valus is going to try and, like, put her fucking clothes back on, like, subtly, like, let's just get you wrapped back." "And, um, as the skin is being exposed, um, Jadzia is covered from the neck down and burns that, that Darmok gave to her, so, another dimension to that, so, that would be visible at that point." "Are you getting that this guy's fucking crazy yet? Like, have we got that across?" "Really? He's crazy?

What?" "A little, a little bit, yeah." "A tiny bit crazy." "Slightly off. Quirky." "Quirky?" "We should be nice to T-Flames." "One could see why someone would develop a, a, a, like, a, a, a, a bit of racism." "So, yeah, he kind of, like, he kind of snaps out of it." "Yes, yes, of course we, I need to help Jadzia, yes, yes." "Um, uh, and he kind of spins around abruptly, um, and he is, uh, he is kind of wandering back across the room, um, searching through drawers and, and, and there, there's a couple of desks and, and such, like bookshelves, like he's looking for something." "Um, and eventually he comes back with this small ceremonial looking dagger and he walks, he walks up to Jadzia with this, like he's gripping it shakingly in his hand." "And he's kind of like, he's walking towards, the dagger is going to get to you before him, like he is holding it outstretched almost." "How, how, how long ago were you bitten, child?" "How long ago was I bitten?" "Like two days?" "Yeah, like two, two and a half days ago this morning." "Two days ago." "That, that doesn't give us much time." "And he's kind of panting, like, heavily as he's holding this thing, like absentmindedly kind of like twirling it around in his hand, and it's inches from Jadzia's face." "I'll, I'll need someone to, to, to finish this as we, uh, and, and he kind of spins around towards Fi, you, you give me your hand." "Um, I do." "Um, he is going to plunge this knife into your palm. Not a cut, not a, uh, not a, like he is going to stick this knife clean through the palm of your hand and out the other side." "I'm sure I probably, minimum, like, kind of just like hold back the scream, just be like, 'Oh, mmm.'" "I'm realizing how often Fi takes one for the team." "Yeah, I'm going to reach over and like grab Fi's other hand, kind of like give him something to squeeze." "Um, Valus is going to have a look of shock on his face, like, 'The fuck was that?!

Like, that, that didn't need to be!' Uh, and, uh, Dormak just walks away after that." "Okay, okay, uh, and he's reaching for, um, a bowl as Fi is pouring blood out of his hand, like it's, it's kind of dripping down the blade on the other side and it's like a sieve just like leaking, um, and he grabs your wrist." "He comes back and grabs a wrist and puts, uh, like he kind of jerks, jerks you over towards a desk and, and kind of like, kind of puts the bowl down and it's, it does that thing where like he, he's so shaky that the bowl's got a rounded bottom and it does that wobbly wah wah wah, like it takes a while to settle." "And then he grabs your hand and holds it over the bowl and then takes his thumbs and starts squeezing where the knife entered your, entered your hand and then takes his, like, he does that with one of his thumbs and then takes the other hand and jerks the knife out and throws it to the ground." "Um, almost like as soon as he was done using that tool it no longer existed to him, like it's like, ahh, and then he takes your hand and digs his thumbs into it." "That's infection right there." "Gonna have to amputate that." "Do me a favor and roll an endurance check." "Ooh, this should be fun. Endurance." "I'm in QP." "Oh." "Okay, that is a six." "The pain is so intense that Fi's gonna black out." "Okay, since I was holding his other hand can I just like..." "Well you can see he's getting ready to go, it's like, okay, like that you kind of like catch him before he fucking, his head hits the ground." "Okay, now we have to make sure that this keeps going well." "So Fi's gonna go ahead and black out, Oona's gonna catch him, um, and I imagine you're just gonna let him kind of slump to the floor or you're gonna hold him up." "Uh, I'll hold him up and like kind of like try and smack his cheek a little bit." "Right, you may want to heal his hand, up to you." "Is he done bleeding into the bowl?" "Uh, yeah, Darmak, after he, this bowl is full of Fi's blood, and after a few moments, Darmak kind of just lets his hand go and just like walks away from him." "Okay, yeah, lay on hands." "Yeah, alright, so you have used a lay on hand." "Lay on hand." "Hand, yeah, ha." "Um, I think it's more referring to your hands than his hands." "I know, I know." "Yeah, but still." "Hi, you could have been the new Ian." "That will leave a scar, like that'll leave a permanent scar on it, he's got a little stigmata going." "Hook hand bros." "Is it a high five, then you like hook them together?" "Hah!" "Um, Darmak's gonna walk away, he's gonna kind of walk away from Fi and then walk up to Jadzia." "Um, and he is again going to cup your face in his hand, and then ever so slowly, ever so gently he's going to run his index finger down your neck." "And then he's gonna start pushing into the bite wound." "And gradually apply more and more pressure until he starts to draw blood." "Is he doing anything or is he just being nasty as fuck?" "I can't tell." "Okay, now that that's done, let's get curing." "Yeah, I just needed a drink." "Um, you're gonna, like you don't know, like that's the thing, the guy's so fucking, like he's so off that it's like, I don't even know." "I'm gonna stab you, I'm gonna make you bleed." "Right, now for the magic, for the cure." "Wait, what am I doing?" "Party sister death." "Who are you?" "He is going to, uh, so he's going to remove, like after a few seconds, like his nail went an inch or two into your skin, like that was very painful, like he, yeah." "Right, now I'll put me on fire and I have herpes." [laughter] "And then he's gonna remove his hand. Um, and he's going to slowly but surely kind of press his forehead against yours, and then kind of tilt his head like he's going to kiss you." "And instead he is going to lean into your neck and drag his tongue across the bite wound." [crying] "Stop fucking helping!" "You can't just tongue people's wounds!" [crying] "Ugh!" "Can I do an arcana check to see if that's really necessary?" "Yes, you absolutely can!" "24." "Some of this is part of the ceremony, um, definitely some of this is part of the spell, uh, tongue thing, not so much, that was just him showing affection." "Alright." "Some of this is definitely, like he needs blood, he needed that, and then, um..." "I'm gonna chop his fucking tongue off." "Yeah." "Um, and then he is going to, he's gonna kind of like, lean back, and you can see that he's kind of cupped some of the blood against his tongue." "Like he's kind of forming this makeshift bowl with his tongue, and he is going to kind of lean down and drag his tongue across the bridge of the bowl, and that blood is going to kind of mix with fees." "Um, and he is going to stir this concoction with his index finger, uh, and he is going to take a step back, and he is going to start speaking, but it's not in a language you recognize." "Um, and his eyes kind of glow for a second, and, uh, you can see that something is happening with his hands where there is this kind of faint, kind of purplish aura, um, and then he is going to step back towards Jadzia." "Um, and he is going to raise the bowl up to her lips." "Alright." "Um, and he is going to, like with his left hand, he's kind of got the bowl like cupped under her lips." "And then with his other, with his right hand, he is going to kind of put his hand against your face, like kind of covering your eyes and nose and everything, and then use his thumb to start trying to pry open your mouth, like you're too stupid to understand what he's trying to do." "Alright, when I rolled that arcana, this is part of it too, right?

I do have to drink the blood." "Yes, you do have to drink the blood." "Okay, she will drink the blood." "Ugh." "I'm so sorry, you guys." "I'm not going to look you in the eyes." "Well then it's a good thing we already got the trip over with." "Uh, June will be awkward, so we-" "This is how every listener ever hates you." "Yeah." "I swear this is not indicative of my personality in real life. I've never made anyone drink blood, I've never licked anyone's wounds, I swear." "Um, so Jadzia drinks this blood, and there's a look that comes across, there's a look that comes across Darmok's face that's um..." "Someone roll a perception check please. Una, you're conscious, go ahead, roll a perception check." "That seems like a pretty good recr- uh, 13." "13." "That's our standard at this point." "Yeah, barely double digits.

Uh, yeah, you're picking up, um, it seems more like arousal than anything else." "Like he is getting off on this." "Can Una just throw up?" "Yes, if you-" "Yeah, Una just visibly just turns like green and then just vomits." "Um, Darmok pays you no mind, like it doesn't-" "Really, that didn't even mean more hoarding?" "I was gonna ask, like-" "It's about, it's about the blood for this guy, like his, that's his wife, that's a sacred thing, you're fucking with that." "And uh-" "The thing to give marriage, everyone." [laughter] "One man, one demon." [laughter] "Just as God intended." [laughter] "Vallis is however going to not let go of Jadzia, but he is gonna kind of look over to Una and just kind of like-" "It's a concern to look like, are you alright? 'Cause I may need you in a minute." "Yeah, she's good, like she just wipes away, like, ugh." "Um, God." "So after Jadzia finishes drinking this, she's gonna feel this kind of warmth spread through her body." "And she didn't really notice it up until now, but she had been gradually getting colder." "Like she didn't, maybe that accounted for the trembling, the shaking." "It was almost like her, it was very much like her body's just shutting down, like gradually getting cooler and just eventually just going to shut down." "So you can feel this kind of warmth spread through your body." "Um, Darmak is again, there's kind of this trail of like blood, this little overspill around Jadzia's mouth." "Nope." "And Darmak is going to lean in." "Okay, Una's gonna like jadzia, you feeling better?" "Um, and he's kind of got, okay, he's kind of got her face cupped in his hands." "And unless someone stops him-" "Is Fi conscious again?" "Yep, Winfuri assault." "Hold on." "Let's make sure Fi's conscious before we attack the powerful blood mage." "Okay, let's do this. Fi, roll an endurance check." "That went so well last time." "Yep." "Come on Fi." "Seven." "Fi is still very much unconscious." "Ugh." "Like, that was an excruciating amount of pain that he was in, and it just, it was so concentrated and so like thorough that he just like, ugh, like he just went out." "Jadzia is going to give Una a look and kind of like put her hand up, like, not yet." "Um, okay." "Darmak is going to lean in and kiss Jadzia passionately, but first, before his lips meet hers he kind of runs his tongue along the edge of Jadzia's mouth to gather up the blood that didn't make it in." "Ugh." "And um, then he's going to kind of plunge his tongue into Jadzia's mouth." "Ugh, ugh." "Don't want to be a vampire, don't want to be a vampire." "I am so sorry." "Yeah." "Um." "It's okay." "And at this point, Phallus is digging his hands into your shoulders and he's pulling you back, like he is, it's like, nope!" "Like he is starting to pull you back." "Phie, wake the fuck up." "Um, so, Una are you like, are you doing the thing where you're kind of slapping Phie to kind of wake him up?" "Yeah, I'm at this point like slapping him like, 'Phie, god damn it, like.'" "Okay, hold on, okay, hold on one second. Jadzia, what were you going to do?" "Um, what was I going to do?

I got distracted by the slapping." "Well initiative." "Do I feel better? Like, can I tell that this spell is over?" "Uh, you can tell that it's working, yeah. It'll take a little bit of time, but you will not die. You will not be a vampire." "Okay, then she is going to very roughly, like, drag her hand over her mouth and she is going to look just as disgusted as she is." "Okay." "She dies." "There's no way to look as disgusted as she feels." "Yeah." "So, um, Darmok is going to look hurt. Like he's gonna, he's..." "What? I don't understand, child. I did what you asked.

I helped you. We can be together. We can be together." "And he is, um, he's going to try and reach his hand out again and touch her face." "He's gonna be awake, yeah." "Um, one more second and you can make another check." "Ohhh." "Um, Jadzia is going to slap his hand away." "Um, this sparks something in Darmok that, like, that, that gentle pleading look kind of goes away and now it's more of an aggressive..." "You belong to me. I will not let you leave me again." "And he reaches out and grabs at the front of your, uh, of your, of what you're wearing and he is going to pull back on it to try and rip, uh, rip your clothes open." "Can I, can I bring my hammer down on his arm?" "What?

On Fi's arm?" "No, no, I don't... fuck Fi." "Okay." "Thanks." "I'll drop him out of the fuck." "Maybe the gloves are not coming off." "Okay, hold on a second. Um, the entire time, Ootis is just, like, slapping the shit out of Fi. Wake up, wake up." "Fi, go ahead and roll another endurance check, please." "Okay, do I get any bonuses from being slapped?" "Um, let's give you a plus two." "Okay, so, uh, D20 plus five..." "20." "Um, Fi regains consciousness slowly, uh, just in time to hear things pretty much hit the fan." "Um, after, so, after Tarmoc reaches forward and, and, and claws at what jets he is wearing, unless you stop him, Valus is going to throw a punch at this guy." "I'm not going to stop him, I'll help." "Okay." "Can I, like, trip him or something so Valus's punch hits more effectively?" "Uh, you want to do that schoolyard thing of..." "Yeah, tabletop the bitch." "Yeah, okay.

Okay, we can do that. So, yeah, and we'll be on the ground anyway." "So you're kind of crouched behind Darmoc. Valus is going to pull Jadzia back by the shoulders and throw a punch at, uh, at Darmoc." "So, let's... God, uh, hold on a second. That'll be basic melee. As soon as I find my powers." "Please, please, please, please hit. There's got to be a hell of a plus with somebody behind him, tripping him." "It would be about the same as if he used a weapon." "Okay." "Wow." "Ass." "Uh, so, okay, here's the thing about Darmoc. I kind of forgot to mention this.

Super powerful. You know that. So, as, as, like, he can kind of see what's going on and as Jadzia, like, he can see that this is turning south. "And Valus goes to pull back Jadzia and throw a punch. Darmoc is actually going to teleport. Um, uh, and he is going to teleport right outside this room. Right, right outside the study and in that, he's going to kind of back up into that dining hall that you guys, uh, you guys walk through to get to his study." "This guy is irate. Like, he feels used and betrayed and in a way he's kind of right." "You just wanted to use me, Jadzia.

I've given you everything. I've given you my heart and you just, none of you are going to leave here alive." "Jadzia is going to scream back, 'I was a child and you used me.'" "Everyone go ahead and roll initiative." "Um, can I stand up while they're screaming?" "Yes, yeah, I would imagine, yeah." "He's just like awkwardly, like, trying to stand up like, so nobody notices. Like, wow, that hurts. Mumbling to himself." "Fucking crying across that bridge. Fucking died. My hands stab." "Okay, um, it rolled but it didn't add it to the initiative." "What was the roll?" "21." "Boom.

And Dormant gets a 15. Wow, okay. Sort. Valus is going first." "I'm going to miss." "Yeah, that wasn't the best start. I rolled a 3, that's why. Okay, here we go." "You got this." "Damn, Valus can't use any of his AoE stuff because he is standing next to you. But okay, we can work with this." "He has a speed of... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. He can get right up in Dormak's face." "He's going to pop it in counter power. It's called 'twist the knife.' And let's see if that hits." "Now the way this works is if I hit with the first one, I get to do it again and again up to three times." "So what he's going to do is take out this small blade and actually try and stab at Dormak's kidneys." "And on the third one he plunges it in and just twists the knife.

That's exactly why it's called what it's called." "Second hit. Oh, that'll miss. So the first one does hit. That is 15 damage." "Fie, your turn." "Okay, so..." "Sorry, my mouse is..." "Cure Fos to do too much damage or he'll get a boner." "He probably already has a boner." "That's true." "He had a raging semi earlier. He was working on one. It was..." "Disgusting." "It's terrible and uncomfortable." "Okay, so ambush trick. So I move up to my speed, get combat advantage against anyone within five squares who do not have any of their allies adjacent." "She has no allies." "Not a lot of friends." "Great.

Four. So that's my move." "As a miner I will set off Hunter's Quarry at Darmok, which means I get an extra 1d6 every time I attack him." "Ooh." "Yes." "And then just a basic melee attack. Oh, hold on. What is... Ooh, back stab's a free action, so I want to use that as well." "So... Fuck's sake, sorry, my mouse is staying up. Okay, so I get +3 on that because I'm using backstab." "I get another +2 because I'm using some combat advantage attack. Oh, yes, hit." "Okay, so I get... What do I get? I get 2d8 and 2d6 extra damage, which is 14." "And my damage on him... +14... is 30." "Good lord.

I always feel like I'm taking a math class when you take your turn. Is that all?" "That is everything." "Okay, so knives aplenty in Darmok." "Yep." "Una, your turn." "Time for some hammer. Okay, run up there. I'm gonna use hold fast, which will hopefully immobilize him." "Unless it misses." "Yeah, well, yeah, there's no, there is no like half damage. Okay, well, that sucks dick, but I will place a divine challenge on him." "Okay. Darmok's gonna stumble back one space. And he's going to kind of address Una." "Do you really think your brute force stands a chance against me?" "He is going to use something called infernal puppet." "Bassy." "Yeah." "Bassy's a little bitch." "Sounds like something that they control you with and they make you hurt your team members." "Something about that word puppet.

I don't approve of that." "17 versus Una's will." "Well, I have like, oh my god, I have 18 will. Fuck my dick." "Oh!" "Damn, he will have to suck that dick. Terrible. Action point." "Because that's just, we gotta try that again. Let's try that one more time. 21 versus your will." "What?" "Yeah." "Fuck." "Yeah. So that'll hit. So you are going to take, you're going to take 2d8 plus 10 damage, psychic damage." "Wonderful. My favorite kind of damage." "23. And you're going to temporarily lose control over your body." "So his eyes kind of light up and he's kind of holding out his outstretched hand." "And you kind of feel your body lock up and as hard as you try to fight this, you're going to find yourself marching backwards towards Jadzia." "Run?" "You're going to make a melee basic attack against Jadzia with your hammer." "Well, that's okay because my roll sucks dick, so you'll be fine." "Well, we'll see.

Let's go." "Okay, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Christ." "Sorry." "Oops." "Um, fuck." "Okay, wait. Question mark." "Okay." "Because he's using..." "Because he's using me as a weapon to hit somebody else, does that mean he takes damage?" "Why would he take damage?" "Because he's attacking somebody else." "Oh, he targeted you. The attack targets you, technically. You took damage." "Uh, fine. Um, I can't do anything, can I?" "You have to do this. Like, you just have to roll damage." "You can't, like, martyrs blessing that shit and take half the damage for her." "You're not in control of your body right now." "Sorry.

Let's do damage for that." "Now I fucking..." "First thing Kord's fury hits is my teammates." "Well, hopefully it's not too bad. It's like 10 damage, something like that." "It's like 2d10." "Ew." "22." "22 damage." "Sorry. It's okay." "It's only a third of her hit points. It's okay." "Jatzia, your turn." "Alright, I'm gonna get the fuck away from you, crazy bitch." [Laughter] "And I'm concealed." [Laughter] "Uh, Warlock's Curse on..." "Well now, wait a second. Technically, Una is an enemy." "Oh, shit." "So technically... Actually, you know what?" "Don't you kinda have to, like, be aware?" "Yeah, you're fine.

You're fine." "Alright." "You're fine." "So as I was saying, Warlock's Curse on Darmoth." "Um, and then..." "I am going to use my fancy new power, this, uh, Infernal Moon Curse." "Ooh." "Hit!" "That'll hit!" "Yay!" "I was so ready to, like, break out everything, I was gonna use my Lucky Charm, I was gonna do all that." "So, that is going to do some damage." "10 damage, that's not great." "And then, so 13 altogether, and he is going to be immobilized 5 feet off the ground until the end of my next turn." "Have fun, guys." "Oh, and it, uh, wait, it does poison damage too, right?" "Troget is immobilized 5 feet off the ground." "I thought it did poison damage." "Oh no, it's just, that's the type." "Okay." "Yeah." "So, poison damage." "Not fire. I just realized I can't use any of my fire spells." "Fuck." "Yeah, tiefling." "Yeah, uh, Valus's turn." "Uh, well hell, he's pretty much a pinata." "Uh, let's use it daily then, fuck it." "He's gonna shift forward and use From Hell's Heart, and miss." "Man, his AC is high." "Um, wouldn't he technically be prone, so that would give you two more?" "No, that's not prone, like, he's, he's, he's just, it's just a flavorful way of saying he's, he can't move." "Yeah." "Darn." "Yeah, so that sucks. Fuck that, action point." "Um, let's use, uh, let's just use a great, great sword attack right now." "There we go, that's a crit." "Yes!" "Yay!" "So, that is 24 damage." "Uh, so, bam, 24 damage, okay." "Fee your turn." "Okey dokey." "Um, okay, so, let's use it daily." "Uh, World Repulsion, which I gain resist drive to all damage." "Uh, once per turn when you score a critical hit with an attack, you can increase the resistance by one to a maximum of ten." "Okay, so, and then, uh, Ambush Trick to get next turn again, uh, and a melee basic attack, so, plus two 'cause I have combat advantage, 19 miss." "Okay, uh, sucks." "Yep, that's everything." "Uh, Una, your turn, you have regain control over your body." "Little bitch." "At least it didn't keep you, at least you didn't have to roll a saving throw." "Yeah, that's true, that's very true." "It's helpful." "Okay, um, run on up, and, um, you know what, I'm gonna use a fucking daily, because, fuck that shit." "Um, let's see, you know what?" "Is it, is it the daily?" "My rolls have been so shitty that I'm afraid to use it, but it is half damage, so why the fuck not?" "Oh, shit, get your cameras ready!" "Okay, um, but even if we don't have anybody to debuff him, because, that'd be helpful, but, oh well, um, let's attack him." "Yes!" "That is a crit!" "Suck 80 dicks, Starlock!

Literally, because you're taking 85 damage!" "Jesus!" "Whoa." "Okay, damage roll, I'm gonna click this, just, oh, it's gonna taste so good." "Oh, mmm, eat it, bitch!" "That was in character!" [Laughter] "How's that for brute force, bitch?" "Yes!" "Oh, that felt so good." "That's, I, I can feel the satisfaction on this side of the country, uh, fucking, okay, that's 85 damage, you have bloodied Dormak." "Mmm." "Uh, Dormak's turn." "He is still immobilized." "He is still immobilized, yes, uh, that does not mean he can't attack." "Now, this hammer strike fucks him up, uh, like, just knocks the crap out of him, like, he is, like, you can tell that did a lot of damage." "Um, and then he is going to snap his gaze back at him, and he's gonna start opening his mouth." "Ew." "Ew, he opened his mouth!" "His mouth is nasty as fuck." "Yeah, it's kinda coated in, it's, it's kinda coated in blood and sharp teeth, and, um, he's gonna open his mouth, and these bloody tendrils are going to start, kind of ghosting slowly out of his mouth." "And they're gonna start creeping their way towards Una." "Get out of here, Dormak, you fucking demon." "Gonna turn this into a hentai pretty soon." "Oh." "He would." "He would, though." "He would, he would, I know, I'm just saying, we run a clean show here for the most part." "Do we?" "Well, today not so much." "Tell yourself that 20 minutes ago." "That was romantic, okay?" "He probably thought so." "Yeah, um, so, let's see, this is going to be, uh, he's gonna use something called Withering Consumption." "Uh, and this is going to target your Fortitude, so 21 versus your Fortitude." "Yeah, that'll hit. I may as well just vomit, do I get a minus from that?" "Well, first of all, we're gonna do damage. So, 3d8 plus 10." "Okay." "28 damage." "Okay.

Don't want to take half on that." "Well, it's a little late now." "Yeah, I guess." "Uh, you are also weakened until the end of your next turn." "Fair enough." "Which means you do half damage." "Okay." "Uh, so these tendrils kind of like wrap around Una and just kind of like, it looks like they're leeching off of her, like choking her." "Uh, and then after a couple of seconds, like he opens his mouth just a little wider, almost like a fucking, like a python, just like unhinging its jaw." "And these tendrils just kind of like snap back into his mouth." "Uh, and he kind of smiles this really self-satisfied smile." "Uh, and Jad's his turn." "Gross, okay, um, can I climb on the table? Am I allowed to go around?" "Sure!" "Alright, weeee." "Alright, and I'm concealed." "Concealed standing on a table?" "Totally. Maybe I'm under the table?

I don't know." "So you're standing up on this big dinner table, this banquet table?" "Yeah, just because I needed to reach him, there was a table in my way." "Jeffrey's all sad watching the food get trampled." "Oh no, what happened to the buns?" "It worked so hard on that." "The chicken, it took me hours to-" [Laughter] "I am not going to give a speedy bonus. I will do Diabolic Grasp." "One hit!" [Laughter] "Uh, that is a hit." "Damage!" "Um, ten again? Wow, my damage is not doing well." "Sixteen!" "Sixteen is completely admirable. There is nothing wrong with sixteen." "And I get to slide the target two squares, but there's really not a-" "Do you wanna-" "Can I push him into the wall and do more damage?" "If you were to like- well, there's people in the way is the problem." "I was going to say you can slide him back one and then forcefully slide him forward, but like yeah, there's kind of people in the way." "Alright, um, where can I slide him?

Like, I can move him closer to me, but-" "Pull him closer one and then push him back one. Just like, 'Hey, hey, no, fuck you!'" "If she slides him, do we get opportunity attacks?" "Well, how is that phrased, sliding? If he's sliding, I don't think so." "Um, and you slide the target two squares." "Doesn't say shift, so I'm gonna say yeah." "Yes!" "Alright, wee! You guys all hit him." "Aw, shit." "I can use like some random shit in the place of basic ones." "Oh wait, just kidding, I already used it." "Alright." "His AC's so high." "I was thinking it was really high for like a warlock type character." "Well, yeah, it's- yeah, he's-" "Yup." "Yes." "Of course we're rolling twos." "Yeah, yeah, doesn't help." "So, that does not help." "And, um, wait, what about, uh, Nollis?" "He missed two." "He did." "I won." "Oh, yeah." "Uh, alright, so, uh, Valus's turn, let's try that again, I guess." "Let's try, uh, greatsword attack." "Uh, that'll hit." "Uh, seventeen damage." "Uh, Darmok's not looking so hot, guys." "Just, uh, just to let you know." "Uh, Fee, your turn." "Okay, okay, um, so, Amber's trick, just to get next to him again." "And then, I'm gonna fire off my second backstab, uh, for a plus three." "So, melee basic with plus five hits." "Oh, right on there." "That is a hit." "Yes." "With a nine." "Those modifiers, fifteen for gossies?" "Yeah." "Yeah, uh, plus ten for the attack roll, and then plus three for, uh, backstab, and, yeah." "Um, okay, no, hold on." "So, I get, two d6, two d8, sixteen." "Mm-hmm." "Uh, sixteen." "Twenty-six." "Twenty-six damage, gorgeous." "Uh, anything else?" "Uh, that is everything, I think." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's everything." "Uh, Luna, your turn." "Okay, um, second wind." "Um, that makes me spend, what, two healing surges or some shit?" "Uh, one healing surge, but I think you're wearing something that lets you spend a second healing surge when you're bloodied." "Yep, okay, and I have sixteen per surge, so." "And thanks to your feat, you get a, you get plus five, ten pit points." "I do, um, and plus, do I get, don't I get plus five, ten pit points for each surge I spend?" "Uh, yeah, but you can only, they don't stack like that." "Oh, so I only get like the five?" "You only replace them, yeah." "Oh, boring, okay." "Yeah, you don't have enough, I'm..." "Um, okay, cool, and that, that's a standard or a minor action?" "Uh, that would be your standard." "Shit." "You also get a plus two to all defenses until the end of your next turn, but you do, uh, I will remind you have a action point." "That is true, um, okay, wait, if I, if I just spent my standard, can I still attack something?" "No, that's your standard, like you can move." "What if I move and my attack is the same thing?" "Well, if your attack is a move action?" "I haven't used Win Free Assault yet." "Let me read it just to make sure, Win Free Assault..." "It's a standard action." "Ah, it's a standard action, that's what I thought, the move is attached to it." "Damn it." "Yeah, that makes more sense." "Okay, yeah, uh, action point." "Alright." "Um, you know, let's, uh, let's do another daily." "Wait, am I still weakened?" "Yeah." "Fuck, oh well, um, another daily, um, uh, actually just kidding, um, Win Free Assault, I don't want to use a daily yet." "I'm not gonna get..." "Yeah, you're weakened, yeah, you're weakened until the end of his next turn, so after his turn you won't be weakened." "Let's Win Free Assault, I'm gonna fly over Valis, and try and kick the shit out of Dormak." "Okay, yeah, that's expected." "That's a mess, that sucks." "Whatever." "Alright." "I mean..." "Uh, Dormak's turn." "So in the midst of him being stabbed by Fi and Una flying around and all this, he's still more concerned with Jadzia." "But not so much Jadzia, but where she's standing." "And he seems, he seems downright panicked over it." "No, the guest will be most displeased." "And he is going to fire a blast at Jadzia to try and knock her off that table." "Immediate interrupt." "Oh!" "Um, he gets to do the Price of Cowardice." "Hey, sweet, that thing." "Um, let's see, I guess I should attack him for it." "Um, but this will stack with the, um, dammit clicker thing?" "Um, this will stack with the like, 9 that he already takes from attacking." "Okay, cool." "Okay, yeah, that misses.

But he takes 9 damage anyway." "Wait a second. Is the Divine Challenge, that's Radiant, right?" "Uh, yeah." "Uh, he has a weakness to Radiant." "Oh shit! Oh my god, I think Martyr's Retribution is also Radiant damage." "Or, um, yeah, it is." "Yep, it is. Divine Radiant." "Alright, so that's an extra 10 damage." "So..." "Because he has a 5 weakness to it, so." "Okay." "Awesome." "19, okay. So that's 19 damage, Jesus." "Okay, that's cool. Just weird random stacking stuff." "I'll take it." "Uh, so yeah, that, okay, that sucks. For him." "Uh, uh, Una is no longer weakened.

Jatzia, your turn." "Alright." "First I will move this way just so that Una doesn't get hit by whatever I do." "I will start with Dire Radiance now that I know that thing." "Uh, hit." "That is a hit, yes." "Damn it. 10 again, what the fuck?" "But that becomes 15." "That's true, and 4 more, that's 19." "Alright, another 19 damage, jeez." "Alright, and I will Action Point." "Nice." "Oh shit." "I will use Frigid Darkness. Hit." "That is a hit." "That's damage. Please don't be fucking 10 again. 20 plus." "Nice." "2, 22 more." "Jeez, 2. Jeez." "Beautiful." "Uh, he is, he is beaten to shit here, like he is, he is in a bad way.

Dormak's not doing well." "Like he seems to be even more spacey and fucked up than usual, like he seems to be panicked." "Uh, Valus's turn." "Uh, let's just do another Greatsword attack right now." "Uh, that is a hit." "Uh, damage." "Uh, 19 damage." "So just hacking away at this thing, nothing pretty, nothing clever about it." "Uh, Fae, your turn." "Okey dokey." "Speaking of pretty and clever." "Uh, okay, so I don't have any more backstabs, but I will use my Empress Trick to get the plus 2 combat advantage." "Uh, that's a miss." "Oh, that sucks." "Um, that is everything. That's everything I can do." "Alright, uh, Una, your turn." "Okay, pain of death." "That's gonna miss." "18? Fuck.

Okay, well, that'll do half damage." "Um, do I just hit Fae?" "Oh, that was to Fae." "Whoops, my bad." "Hey!" "Well, okay, Dormak takes 15 damage then." "Yeah, I'll take it." "Sorry about that, Fae." "No." "Uh, and he will take 1d4 damage, um, after making any attacks on his turn, save ends." "Will 1d4 damage kill him? That'd be hilarious." "It's, he's, he's in a bad way." "No, I wanna kill him." "That's true, that's true. We should leave for Jepzia." "Uh, Dormak's turn. "Dormak's gonna use Fire Step. "One, two, three, four, five. "To teleport across the room here and do five damage to each one of you except for Valus who doesn't take fire damage.

"He doesn't take, he won't, five won't do anything to him." "What about me?" "Uh, it's just adjacent. Yeah, it's just adjacent." "I just wanted to make sure I was okay, guys." "Scream." "It's okay, guys. I'm doing fine. "Dormak is going to make a break for the door." "What a pussy." "Um, but you can see him like scrambling, like he is falling over using his hand to support him. "Like he is like a wild animal." "You know, I learn it from someone." "Shh. He takes 1d4 at the end of his turn." "Uh, that is, okay. Roll a d4." "Roll 4." "4 damage. "Uh, in the next room, you can hear this sound that just is like a whimper.

"And he's like, you can, like he's kind of like you hear that and then him slump against a wall and then him kind of like take another step towards the door. "So while it did kill him, he is in tremendous pain." "Jadzia just run up and just put a fork in his leg. Just like anything. "Just throw silverware at him." "Throw silverware at him." "Uh, Jadzia, your turn." "Can she get like a bajillion pluses?" "He is at the front door." "Wait, how far is that? Because I can probably reach that if I... "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. "Alright, and I can definitely reach that.

I have a range 10. "So we're just gonna move closer." "Jason, you should give her like at least a plus 5 for like just like revenge, lust." "We'll see how she rolls." "I have like 7,000 ways to like cheat a bad roll if I want to." "That's true, she does." "It's die a radiance, so do I get a plus 5 to hit? Or is that just damage?" "That's just damage." "Okay, so that's a sit-down miss." "But I can use Dark One's own luck and reroll that and take the higher roll." "Oh, shit." "I missed again, but I will take that higher roll and I will use my lucky charm and I can add a d6 to that." "So it's 3 more.

So 16, 17, 18, 19 hit his fortitude?" "It will not, sadly." "Alright, I will use my heroic effort to add another plus 4. "So 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 to his fort." "That'll hit Dormach." "I told you, I have like 6,000,000 ways." "I'm a little cheat. Alright, check all those off. And damage. Die a radiance. Damage. Bam. 8 plus 2, so that's 15 all together." Dormach takes this blast and his eyes kind of go vacant as his back kind of slams against his own front door and he slides down it slowly. And you can see his lips kind of like trembling as he's looking at Jadzia like he wants to say something but just doesn't quite have the strength.

And then after a second he's just going to go limp and lay there. And you have just killed Dormach. And Jadzia is going to crumble as well. Like as soon as that's done she's going to fall down and just probably start sobbing. Guys, I think that's probably a good time to stop for the day. I think it was a worthy session to come back to actually. That worked out really well. Feels like we haven't played in like 3 weeks, 4 weeks. It's been a while. She is right. It looks like we just got ourselves a house and a servant. Yeah, technically you do own...you probably do own...

I'm your widow now. I'm his wife. Let's sit down and enjoy my meal. Finally, finally there are guests to enjoy the meal. Yeah, well what the fuck was that about I wonder? He's fucking crazy is what it's about. Well I want to know his crazy logic for it. Like I want to know who the guests were. Well then you should start a conversation. It's a funeral dinner. I'm sure he has diaries just full of...just crazy. Oh dude, this guy was a journal guy. Like he...yeah. Sweet. I want to read those. When it first happened, when you first told us about all the warm food, I thought it was going to be a Darth Vader situation where he was going to stand up and be like "I've been expecting you." Shhhhh.

Oh Lando was a douche. No, like that's...ugh. That's one of those things I was hoping that I wanted to play him appropriately creepy but not too creepy. I think I went too creepy but in a good way. Like he had to be too creepy. Scott is still going to say it's a bad thing that we killed him though. He still is. The guy's crazy but you do kind of feel for him a little bit. I did. I did a little... Just the tiniest bit. I don't understand this thing you talked about. Feeling something? It's...it's... You couldn't help it. Yeah. I think you can help tonguing someone's fucking open wound.

It's not something you can't control like Tourette's. Like it's not like "Oh I'm sorry excuse me man let me just stick my tongue into your fucking like..." No. That's not how crazy works. That's the best. You played crazy so well Jason. Thank you very much. Disturbingly well. Maybe a little too well. You guys will be staying in the same cabin as me and being so... One turn it down. I promise not to murder you. I really do. I absolutely promise. We just wake up during the night and Jason will be there going "Hello." I have this bowl here. I need someone's hand.

Back to you. I missed you guys. Yeah. I missed you. Well guys that was fantastic but I'm gonna get ready and go let you go because in like another hour I got another session to do so. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for sitting down. Thank you. That was great. Alright. I'll talk to you guys later. Bye.