Dedicated to those that have fallen

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you only got to cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Hello, Therians. My name is Dan Phelps, and I play Duncan Joy-Betam in Group 1 of the Dungeons & Randomness podcast that you are listening to right now. Uh, thank you for downloading the show, and make sure that if you haven't yet, you subscribe to us on iTunes and review us there as well. It really helps us out. Um, also, uh, go ahead and like us on fake- on Facebook.

If you just look up Dungeons & Randomness on Facebook, you'll find us. Hit the little like button there, and you'll get all the latest updates on DNR, including when our website is back up and when, uh, t-shirts are available in the store. So, make sure you are paying attention there for all the latest news. You can also follow us on Twitter for the news, @DNRPodcast, and, uh, you can join- you can, uh, follow us on YouTube, which is DNRPodcast. So, thank you very much for listening, and, uh, enjoy the show. Let's do that thing where we go around the table.

I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table, starting with Izzy. Hey, I'm Izzy, and I play Una, the Half-Elf Paladin. And Tom! Hey, I'm Tom, I play King Yen, where Dmyne is our fighter. And Tyler. Hey, I'm Tyler, I play Thoril, uh, Human Scout. And Kat. Hi, I'm Kat Chavvy, and I play Phee, the Changeling Thief. And Justin. Hi, I'm Justin, I play Warforged, Jarek, Ironhide. And Dan. Hi, I'm Dan Phelps, I play Dwarven Bard, Dunken Joy to Tom. And Bree. It's like Ricky, like- Hi there, I'm Bree, and I play Jepsy at Grace, the Human Warlock. *sigh* Okay.

So what's your problem? What- what was wrong with that? Jarek Ironhide! Like Ricky smiling. She comes out to applause and sits in a chair. It sounded like you were reminding somebody of your name, like "Jarek Ironhide!" Yeah, it did. We're jazz hands, right? You did jazz hands. I tried to mix it up, I tried to make it snappy, alright? In the aftermath of the greater good, some stuff happened. Malkus is again nowhere to be found, but we're gonna get to that in a moment. The army that is fighting, that you're fighting by their side. Is standing outside of Winterhaven, and in the seconds that the Warforged start falling, it turns from a chaotic battle into just this huge state of confusion.

As everyone's kind of looking around, you know, the Warforged are falling without ever having a blow dealt to them. And everyone's just kind of wondering what the hell is going on. Now, it takes a few moments, but everyone kind of realizes that pretty much all of the Warforged are dead on the Overwatch side, which only leaves a small contingent of human soldiers far in the back. These guys are not ready to fight at all. They weren't prepared in the least to fight. And the groups of Minotaurs and Dragonborn and Dwarves, all the frontline troops for Winterhaven, are kind of looking at each other, and then they realize that there are still people to fight just on the far end of this battlefield.

And they just start marching towards them aggressively. And you can see in the distance all of these humans just kind of shitting themselves. Like, most of them don't even have their weapons drawn. They're not ready for this at all. Brianna's gonna pick herself up off the ground, and she's kind of holding her shoulder. She hurt herself a bit after blasting the Lord of the Forge at the end of the fight there. Jadzia, do me a favor and roll a flat D20. Just a flat D20, coming right out. Eight. Alright. We're gonna get to what that means in just a second. That it means I don't notice something fucking important.

No, it means you have some... you know something very important, actually. So, here's what the party would see, looking around. Firstly, just about all the Warforged are dead, except for just a very lucky few who didn't die in the initial blast here of this spell. Ironhide is in a bad way. He doesn't look great. He looks rusted, corroded. But he's not dead. He's still up and moving. He's still kicking. So, Brianna after a couple of seconds is scanning the battlefield, and in the course of her falling down and standing back up, all these Warforged are dead.

And she's just kind of looking around and then sees Ironhide. And she's going to run over to Ironhide and try to offer some kind of assistance. Just try and help him up or something. So, what's going on right now? Is he down on the ground or what? I would imagine he's at least down to one knee. Alright. Is anyone else gonna check Ironhide out and see what's going on? Yeah, I'll run over. Jadzia, I'll run over. Sure, I'll hold around. Alright. Now, Jadzia, she did a check at the end of the last episode to kind of look into this. Which means she's going to have some knowledge about what this is.

Now, she doesn't exactly know where it comes from or all of it nature-wise, but she does know that it is definitely killing the Warforged. And the degree in which it's affecting Ironhide means that he has about eight days left to live. It's left with a terrible roll. Ruined it. So, in eight days, this will completely claim Ironhide and he will be no more. He will be dead. So, I'm not exactly sure how you guys would like to proceed here. Sorry. It's better than a one. Yeah. Yeah, it is a lot better than a one. You guys can accomplish a lot in eight days. You've proven it before.

So, how would you guys... That's how confident and the least. Okay, we still have that group of healers, I suppose. Would that probably be our best bet? Considering none of us are really fantastic healers. I don't think it's... For Ironhide? I mean, they... I guess mages, but I mean, we don't really have any... Well, let me describe what's going on. This is something that's attacking Ironhide's body. In fact, all of the Warforged. It's attacking their body outright. Now, some of them with the Constitution defends some of this off. There's like a magical constitution.

Kind of a magical gut check, if you will. So, they have the ability to defend it off. Now, some of them... I mean, eight days, that's a long time for this, really. But some of them are going to die in hours. Some of them are going to die in a couple of days. Some of them may last a week. But most of them died outright. This is not something that can be healed. This is not something that can be... This is a magic spell that has been cast on them. It's like they're cursed, almost. They will die. How do you make a Warforged as comfortable as possible? Boil them up.

Maybe the White Ravens? What about them? They exist. They have a... I mean, like, when we were looking to research stuff, we would go to the White Ravens about it. Like, that might be... I mean, I... Otherwise, yeah, just put them on a pillow. I mean, what else is there? Well, if you're looking for options, as far as Ironhide goes... I mean, you still don't know exactly what the nature of this thing is, so I mean, you're looking for... This is high-level mojo, though. So you're looking for... I mean, you're looking for someone who would have a huge amount of knowledge about the arcane.

The only... I mean, it's been brought up that Jadzia could murder Ironhide and store his soul in her hat. In her soul hat. That could be fun. Why don't we go talk to the guy from Uminyaro? Like, the King of Magic. Who knows everything about Warforged. That is what he is from now on, until the end of time. He is King of Magic. King of Magic. It's not his title, but... His name is also Tim. Some people refer to him as... The Enchanter. Yes. Tim the Enchanter. King of Magic. We can go talk to that guy? I mean, is he around? That is an option. Like, yeah, he... Let's go, let's go, let's go.

March into the city, kill Ian, and then beat the shit out of that guy. Well, now, wait a second. Hold on. That'll fix him. Is there a check that I have to do just to stand the fuck up, or is it like... No, no, no. You're alive and everything. It's the same as after any battle. Like, if you want to pop some healing surge as you can. Why don't we ask Jerrick what he wants to do? Now, is this... Okay, has Jadzia relayed to Ironhide, like, "Okay, look, based on what I can see, you have this many days left." Yeah, she'll do that. Alright, I'm going to check out my wounds to see how bad the corrosion is.

Because what is it, like, rust? Yeah, it's essentially your body's rusting away. Your body's turning to shit. Scrap. That's what's happening. Like, your body is rejecting you, your soul. It will fall apart. Like, it's... yeah. Like, the bond between your soul and that inanimate object you call a body is deteriorating. Who's laughing? It's harsh. Me, because I'm just imagining Ironhide like a leper, like we're just marching towards Overwatch and he loses a foot. Oh, um, if anybody wants to use healing surges, I'll use Song of Rest so that they can add +5 for every healing surge that they use.

Take that. Yeah. Yep. This is poop. Is there anything you want to do with your last days? Bucket list. It's like a bucket. That's racist. Oh, that was me. That's our word. Okay, um, okay, um, from what I can see, like the only thing we can really do right now is go see Tim the Enchanter, the mage. Archmage Aladdin Duskwalker. Sorry, I'm sorry. I would have seen it from the website, but you know. You understand that story. Yes, I do. I do understand that story. Speaking of, okay, let's talk about the Gates of Winterhaven because they are opening wide right now. So after all these, Warforged have fallen and the, it seems like the battle outside is over.

The gates are swinging open and Ian Cerberus, along with hundreds, hundreds of troops, he's going to ride out on horseback. And some of these people are kind of joining him, the rest are on foot. And they are, like he's going to give the order and they're going to charge. And since they're on horseback, they are actually going to beat the Dragonborn, the Dwarves, and the Minotaurs to the other end of the field and just start slaughtering the rest of, uh, start slaughtering the rest of these Overwatch soldiers. Oh, for a second I thought you were going to say they were slaughtering their own army.

No, that'll teach you to fight for them. What a dick. And you can kind of tell that the overall sentiment between the rest of the, like the Minotaur, the Dwarves, all these guys are just like, "What the fuck?" Like, are you serious? Like, you just, yeah. So we're just witnessing this, like, a knife going in, like a hot knife going in through butter. It's just a one-sided fight. Oh, dude, they're plowing through the... This is just bad in clean-up. They're just chilling. Oh my god. The Overwatch soldiers just turned from, "We might not even pull our swords out of our scabbards," to, "Oh my god, we're the front and only line soldiers." Yes.

And we're talking about a contingent of like, fucking maybe like six, seven hundred guys. Like, they're just there to man catapults, and they're just there as a contingent. They're not really there to fight. And all of a sudden it's like, "Oh no, we are the army. Oh fuck." And you have this horde of like, thousands charging towards you. They were going to die. Like, that was it. Like, they had no chance. With Ian distracted by his own glamour, I guess, would this be a good time to maybe talk to Talia without him? You could. Like, I mean, yeah. I mean, if you want to just enter the city?

I mean, it's just, I was throwing it out to the party to see what they... Yeah, that would probably be a good idea, talking to the actual soldier. He'll be done for the next, he'll be busy for the next few minutes. How hard would it be to catch up with him? With Ian? Yeah. It would take a few minutes, but you could catch him, sure. Can't you like, fly? For short distances, she can, yes. I think I used that power. Yeah. You did and flew nowhere, if I remember correctly. You just used it to use it. Yeah, you flew up in the air seven feet, I remember. Pretty cool looking though, just jump.

Yeah, I might have to go after Ian. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wouldn't talking to Talia be the good move though? I mean, like... No, I think you guys should go talk to Talia. I think so. That's a good idea. I, Duncan should not be talking to Talia, I'll promise you that. Who's got the best clothes? You do. God damn it. Yeah. And you're gonna go attack somebody before we have a chance to clear it up. So, do we have to do a check to knock her out just to bring her over to Talia? Now, work your magic and throw her corpse just on the ground. Do it. Now, Una.

I thought we got rid of Malkus. What is going on? Speaking of which, Brianna's gonna start looking around and noticing that Malkus is nowhere to be found. And she's gonna kind of bring her to the party. Has anyone seen Malkus? I saw him at the start of the fight, but I have not seen him during... Did he fall? Started tipping over dead bodies with my hoof. Just shrugging. Ironhide's gonna mention, like, don't you have that necklace that you can just use? Um, she's... Yeah, she's actually... I mean, he should be right here, but... In case he's under, like, a bunch of bodies.

That's... Okay, that's gonna be a realization for, like, oh god, that's a possibility. Like, that... And so she's gonna grasp the thing and activate it. Um, everyone roll a perception check, please. Perception... 17. Let me find that. I wasn't prepared. You are perception... 25. 18. 24. Dang. God damn it. I can't mess up on this. 24. You are dying. Fuck up, it's fine. 23. Everyone is going to see the red glow of Malkus's necklace on the opposite end of this field. Oh man, just slow pan over as we all turn towards it. Beautiful. How far away is it? Um, this is probably about 80, 90 feet away somewhere in there.

Like, this is far away from the battle. Oh, okay. Like, this is far enough back where this looks like... It's kind of caddy corner, so this looks like someone walking... It's away from the bat. Yeah, someone walking away and drop this. So, I mentioned before that when these are activated there's kind of a... Not a magnetic pull, but you can feel where the other one is. It's kind of like telling you. So she's gonna start walking over towards it. And after, like, she's gonna kind of bend down and pick it up. It's kind of becoming clear that there's no body. This was dropped.

This wasn't... There was no fighting that took place near this necklace. So this was voluntarily let go. And she's gonna kind of turn around and look at the party and then kind of scan the battlefield, like, looking for him one last time. She's gonna walk up to Thoril. He just left us. Did you know anything about this? I... I had no idea that this... For all the... For all everything he ever talked about and everything he said, I assumed he was gonna be here with us. He was here at the start of the fight. He just... He just walked away? It seems like that's where it would be.

And you said you couldn't trust us. I don't know who to trust at this point. She's gonna kind of pocket this necklace. And... You could tell she's pissed, but it's... There are bigger fish to fry. Right. It can't be helped at the moment, and Iron hides in a bad way. The entire time, Valus is just... There's almost a smile on his face. Like, just really kind of... This air of satisfaction? Kind of, yeah. This is like, "I fucking told you!" That kind of... I told you, damn I tell ya! So as this is going on, they're... They're cutting down the rest of these Warforged troops.

And Ian is going to... Kind of rear around and start heading towards your group. Right, what spell can I cast that'll look like an accident? Una's gonna start walking towards him as he's walking towards us. Let me ask you a question before we do this. Is anyone popping... Okay, are we popping Healing Surges? We did all that already? I used one, yeah. I used mine. I used my +5. I better use one right now. Oh yeah, we get encounters back! Oh! Sweet. Well, let's get ready and... Let's put Ian on that board there. I'm working on it. Rather not want to fight him with 500 troops at his back.

I was just gonna say, can I Perception Check to make sure everyone over there is busy? You're not gonna get away with that. Wait, wait, wait. I just want to see what they're doing. Like, what are the other... Are they looking at Ian at all? Um, this... Okay, I'll... Let's do this. I'll give a nice little breakdown for you here. 'Cause... Ian is gonna ride up, but he's gonna ride up with a... A couple of his boys are gonna be following him, but most of them are just slaughtering the rest of the... The rest of the Warforge there. So, hold on a second. Guys, we gotta be sneaky.

We can't just kill him in front of a bunch of people. I'll do it. I don't care. I know you will. I'm gonna settle up right behind Una, just in case, like... Guys, do you really want to be fugitives right now? What's Rodswell doing there? From the... I like that Ian Cerberus is... Oh, sorry! That's his picture right there. There aren't a ton of human characters. Well, they're both kinda cunts. Holy shit, it's Michael Westin's! Gavin. Michael Westin's are back. Fighting for the wrong side. Alright, so, Jadzia, do me a favor, roll a Perception. Alright. 17. Alright. 17, it looks as though that everyone's kinda confused.

There's kind of an air of rejoicing where it's like, "Oh shit, yes! This is great! We're not gonna die here today!" But it's also kind of... It kinda feels hollow. 'Cause they showed up to battle. Specifically, the minotaurs, dwarves, dragonborn. Those guys showed up for a fight. The elves, I mean, they're not really gonna cry right now. The elves, I mean, they're not really gonna cry over the fact that they didn't lose a bunch of people. 'Cause they were mainly archers on the wall, and they weren't trying to... They've fought enough. They've been fighting in the Evergreen for years.

Their society isn't really built around that. The drow, like, they're okay with it either way. They don't really care. They're more interested in getting their hands on Mark as Santa. That's their target right now. So, those three members of the front line are more almost disappointed that this wasn't a better fight. They're way on the other end of this field, trying to get in on the last couple of humans that are left. Like, they wanna kill something. So, for all intents and purposes, right now, attention-wise, everyone's dealing with the wounded, or they're kind of celebrating.

So, it's you guys and Ian, for the most part. There would be some witnesses, obviously, but... That's what intuit checks are for. Theoretically, stories could vary, depending on what were to happen next. But again, you are in an open field, standing in front of Winterhaven. So, just letting you know. So, Ian is going to approach the group, and he's gonna get off his horse. And he's gonna kind of walk right up to Una, actually, because Una was the one who mouthed off to him in that little war room situation. And he's gonna walk, just kind of almost swagger right up to Una.

"I told you everything would be fine if we just trusted our walls. Turns out we didn't need any of you." "You're late, you coward." Una is speechless with rage. Like, she's just shaking, and like, just staring daggers at his man. He is, he's kind of looking over... He's kind of looking over the battlefield. And he's gonna notice that there were some Winterhaven soldiers outside. Outside of the walls that kind of disobeyed direct orders. "I'll have you know that every one of these people are gonna be excommunicated from our city." "They're no longer welcome." "I won't have anyone that won't follow orders." "Why would anyone follow your orders?" "Fucking cunt!" "Somebody who's not man enough to send soldiers into battle doesn't deserve the position you have." He is going to take a step forward.

"What do I have to roll to punch him?" "Can I do a roll to... diplomacy, obviously." "Yeah, let's do something like that." "To settle down Una like, just like a reassuring hand on the shoulder like, no, no, no." "What, what, what, yeah, what roll is it to punch? Like, just to, like, with..." "Can I hold the hammer in my hand so that like there's like, so I'm using it as like a brass knuckles?" "Well that would be a basic melee attack then." "Um, okay, before any of that happens, Duncan looks at Brianna and says, 'What do you want us to do?'" "Um, okay, Bri's actually standing right next to Una and she's, she's, she's, okay." "She doesn't want to pull Una back but at the same time she's, she's gonna kind of lean over to Una and say," "'You can't, you can't just attack him here, it's not gonna do us any good.'" "Um, and meanwhile Ian's gonna kind of respond to, respond to Fi." "We had a plan before any of you showed up." "We're gonna trust the walls that we've spent years building and that's what we did." "You mean you're gonna check out again?" "Uh, he is going to step right up to Fi." "Just because you were foolish enough to attack the warforged head-on and didn't die, not everyone can be that lucky." "If you lived through the first siege, you'd know that." "Shut the fuck up." "If one more word comes out of your cowardly fucking mouth, I'm gonna shut it for you." "People like you don't deserve to exist." "You don't deserve to lead." "If you say one more goddamn thing to me, I'm going to kill you." "Ian is going to be almost forehead to forehead with Una." "And his voice is going to get real low." "You know, I wondered why Malkus surrounded himself with such psychotics." "And then he's going to look over to Bree." "But now I see what kind of company you keep." "Okay, yeah, I'm going to punch him, I'm sorry." "Okay." "It's like all Malkuses, you're all Malkuses." "We're all Malkus right now." "He just insulted Bree." "But Bree said not to do it. Bree told you not to." "Fine, fine, can I roll to grab him?" "That's slightly less violent than a punch." "Okay, so you want to grab it, Ian." "Yeah, just like grab him by the throat or something." "Okay, roll an athletics check, please." "I can grab his shirt." "Oh, I've only got plus six." "20-CLICK!" "Oh, that was a crush!" "She rips his trachea out with her bear." "Man, if that had been a basic melee attack, that would have been so much better." "Takes his teeth up off the grass." "I can pick him up and lift him." "Okay, you're not the Terminator, you're strong, but okay." "So you're grabbing him by the throat." "Hard enough so he can't speak." "Okay." "So your hand is going to come up fast enough that he doesn't see it coming." "And it's going to close in around his throat and his eyes are going to go wide with panic for just a second." "Okay, um, I'm going to, can I pull him close?

I guess I can, I have my hand around his throat." "Yeah." "I'm going to lean in super close, so I'm almost just whispering to him." "You will die. Maybe not right now, but soon." "The cowardice like yours is not tolerated on this earth. You are defiling it by standing upon it." "You will die." "And then I'm going to kiss the tattoo of Kord on the back of my hand that's around his throat and like throw him away." "Um, Ian is going to stumble back just a bit and his boys are going to start to kind of close in a bit and Ian is going to kind of fall back." "And again, he's just kind of stunned that you would actually assault him in front of the city essentially." "Like he is, he almost came at you with an air of like, 'What the fuck are you going to do?

What are you going to do?'" "Like he's very confident in the fact that he's untouchable. And then you touched him and he's just kind of holding his throat, just kind of like shocked." "And he's going to reach down and grab his sword and draw it." "I would say, I would give one of you one more shot to try and defuse this situation, otherwise you are in a fight." "Can, uh, um, I was going to say, can I roll to like knock the sword out of his hand?" "Can I diplomacy to walk away? Like just walk away, unless it's a diplomacy check?" "Well you can try and walk away." "You can try and walk away, you don't need a diplomacy check for that, I don't know how well that's going to go for you, but you can just walk away if you'd like." "So can I do a diplomacy check against my teammates?" "Oh well that's free will, like you can lie to them and try and bluff them and hide something from them, but you can't alter what they would normally do." "Right, I wasn't going to lie to them, I was just going to try to talk some sense." "Right, no, I mean like that's just, you can just speak to her and try to..." "Okay, can I pull, who's attacking him?

I, both of them, all three of them, I'm going to pull them aside right now." "Breathe didn't attack anybody, breathe through." "Uh, mainly I guess, Una and Kat I guess, kind of, um, and this is coming from Duncan, mind you, the most impulsive character in the show." "Um, but, uh, I pull him aside and I go, look, I want this guy dead just as much as you do, if for no other reason than just because I think it'd be funny at this point to kill him now." "But we can't do it here, the town doesn't know what we know." "We can make this guy look like an asshole in front of everybody and embarrass them and then everyone wants him dead." "Or we can kill him here and look like criminals and have to make up an excuse later." "So why don't we go the other route here?" "We have all the ammo in the world to make him look like a fool, so I don't understand why you just want to kill him in front of people right now." "I wanted to kill him the second I met him, but I have no intentions of killing him right now." "The thing about cowards is that they tend to stay alive long enough for you to kill them later, let's just go." "The thing is, I know Ian from before and he's going to live long enough to make a fool out of himself anyway, we don't have to do anything, that's the best part of this." "But it's more fun to do something, but that can wait for later." "He has to die, Dwarf." "He will die." "Not necessarily right now, let's just go." "Can you call me Bard now, Dwarf?" "Bard." "Thank you." "You don't have to call me by my name." "So you guys are having this chat after you've gripped him by the throat and he's got weapons, they have weapons drawn." "So he's going to heal over to a girl." "Draw your hammer." "Well after the chat I was planning on running in the army to check against Ian, can I try that now?" "Oh that's fine if you want to try and step forward, but he wants to fight her." "He very much wants to, she's embarrassed him and he wants to show her up." "I want to make sure, does anybody have better diplomacy than me, I have a +11." "I have a +15." "Well that's, okay yeah, I talk to you so yeah that works." "Okay, I'm going to say, just turn around and smirk at him and say, you coward behind your walls the entire battle, coward, go fight, get your blood up, we'll fight later." "And diplomacy, 22." "That sounded like Intimidate, I'm sorry." "I wasn't very diplomatic." "I wasn't as diplomatic as I can be." "You said coward like five times." "You shouldn't have a +15 in that one." "You're right, I am a +15." "That's una diplomacy, that's not regular people diplomacy." "Hey you bitch, fucking bitch." "Hey you bitch, okay." "Hey puss boy, fucking do this shit later, fuck off." "Good talk." "Good talk?" "Um, are you walking away after this?" "Yeah." "I'd stab her right in the fucking back for that shit." "Okay, I'll wait for his response but like, make it clear like I'm about to walk away." "Um, he's, okay, his eyes are just leveled on her, just narrowed right on her." "And there's this really long beat where you can tell he wants to just thrust this sword into your gut so hard." "Um, and then he's kind of panning over the entire group and he realizes there are a bunch of you." "And after a couple seconds he's going to go ahead and sheathe his sword." "Coward." "And he's going to say to you, yeah, I would think better of it if I were you too." "I'm crum." "Watch your back." "I'm a man." "And he's just going to shrug and like grin at him and then walk away." "Alright, I'd like to point out if we're walking away, Judzia's not going to turn around, she's going to walk backwards." "I have a feeling about Ian, we're not turning around." "Oh, Ian is not above stabbing someone in the back." "I've heard." "Aw." "Well, I guess you guys are heading into the city of Winterhaven proper." "I'm going to wave goodbye to Ian, do nothing to me." "Blow him a kiss." "Um, what's the plan here? Who are you looking for specifically?" "Talia." "Yeah, Talia first." "All of you?" "Yeah, might as well." "Why not?" "Jared, do you want to go look for the mage guy?" "Actually, yeah. Let's go find Tim." "I'll go with Jared." "Tim." "Okay, yeah." "Who's going where?" "Alright, is the party splitting?

What are we doing here?" "I think so." "Who's going after, okay, who's going after Talia?" "I'll go with Talia." "Me." "Me as well." "Alright, let's do Talia first. So, you would be welcome in the city, technically, because you're there to help protect everything. Ian doesn't like you and would probably want to get rid of you as quickly as possible, just to let you know." "Um, can I ask a question?" "Sure." "Shouldn't Breanna go with us? Because we're trying to talk Ian into, or we're trying to talk Talia into explaining what happened, so having Breanna there..." "That actually would probably make sense, yeah." "Just for that, we're taking a fee.

Penalize him." "That actually would make sense, yeah." "Okay, so, Brie will go with you." "We traded pallets for Brie, it's fine." "Yeah, we did." "You got her in the draft, it's okay." "Yeah." "Alright, so, Talia would be in Winterhaven Hall, and that she would not be very hard to find. Before you get to Talia, you're gonna see someone in the hallway, a large blonde boy." "Oh, shit." "I knew who that was." "Yeah, very excitable, and as soon as he sees Thorol, he's gonna wander right up to Thorol." "Now, roll a perception check there, Thorol, please." "14." "14, okay. His eye is swollen to shit." "Oh." "His eye is quite swollen, and you can see where there's these little horizontal cuts on the side of his face, where Ian's gauntlet came down and just kind of crunked the side of his head.

So it kind of, not only was it blunt, but it was almost like he was wearing rings. So it came down and just, yeah, it was bad." "Yeah." "Because Nathaniel's a big kid, and that stunned the shit out of him." "How long ago was that that he got fucking backhanded?" "Yeah." "That was probably recent." "I know a lot of people aren't gonna get this here, but whenever I picture Nathaniel, I just picture Zeus." "Yeah, totally." "All I see." "How long ago did this happen?" "This was a little over a week ago, but the bruise is still there, and this did some damage to this kid's face. It's healing up, but he got hit hard.

He got rocked. And Nathaniel's gonna run right up to Thoril, and he's gonna reach to hug him almost, and then pull back at the last second and then just offer his hand out to shake." "Yeah, I'll reciprocate with a handshake." "And he's gonna aggressively shake your hand. I'm really sorry I couldn't fight with you guys. I wasn't allowed outside the walls, but I heard it went really well." "Um, it had its ups and downs. Currently trying to deal with the after-effects of that right now." "Nathaniel's gonna look right over to Yenn, where he's like, 'You gotta tell me all about what Thoril did in combat later, okay?'" "No problem, man.

I got you. He killed like 200 guys." "And he's gonna get ready and start to walk past, but at the last second, he's like, 'Were you guys looking for anything? Do you need any help? Do you need me to help you fight something?'" "Like a dumb golden retriever." "Oh, Grand Champion." "You can point us in the direction, Natalia." "Is someone on an Apple II computer with his chute?" "Yeah, that's the sound it has." "No, that was my phone, because it's a wireless one. So it responds back to the wired housephone just to make sure that it's..." "I thought you were bragging that you have a wireless cellular phone.

We have them in the States, too." "No, it's a wireless house phone." "No, okay." "He has a cordless phone. That's what he's bragging about. Yeah, I got a cordless phone. It's got color ID on it." "I'm sorry, I thought for a second, it's like, 'Oh, my cell phone's wireless, guys. I don't mean to brag, but I'm doing pretty well.'" "It's not a car phone." "You guys heard of hands-free?" "So, Nathaniel, the last thing... Oh, yeah, she's in the other room. If you guys need anything, I'll be in my room. If you need anything at all, please let me know." "No problem, bud." "He's gonna kind of wander past Yennward and just kind of pat him on the shoulder.

He's got to reach up to do it, but he's gonna pat him on the shoulder, just like, 'Hey, yeah, yeah.' Just... Just... Cut. Just for... Like, he wants to hear stories about the world, he wants to say in your good graces, so he's like, 'Yeah, okay.' Like, he... Like, he's just gonna wander past." "Can I get to, like, pat him on the back or something?" "Sure, little weirdo." "Not gonna make it." "I like the picture that we're just all, like, visibly kind of, like, laughing at him." "But he doesn't pick up on it." "Yeah, I like the idea that if you can throw an Overwatch guy at him and tell him to go fetch, he would do it." "This poor kid just wants to please." "Yeah, really." "As we're walking away, Duncan nudges Yennward, like, in the knee, I guess.

That would be where he's nudging him." "Yeah." "And he, like, motions him to come down to him a little bit." "Yeah, they just kind of go down like it's painful, like, 'Mm.'" "Who's this funky kid? And why does he like Thorol so much?" "He's Thorol's kid, but don't tell Thorol." [Laughter] "Okay." "Okay." "Can I roll a perception check on that?" "Um, yeah, go ahead, roll a perception, see if you hear it." "Nope." "Nope, you didn't hear that. Never mind." "I'm, like, 110% sure." [Laughter] "Uh, going into the next room with Talia." "She's kind of pacing back and forth, like, she looks kind of worried." "And then she sees you guys enter, and she is going to rush right over to Thorol and give him a big hug." "Oh yeah, I'll reciprocate." [Laughter] "That sounded a bit weird, but..." "Oh yeah, I'll reciprocate." "Oh, no." "Oh yeah." "Still getting mad?" "And then she's gonna kind of pull away just a bit, like, 'Oh, that was not Ladylike, I shouldn't have done that.' "Like, just kind of pull away just a bit." "And she's...

I'm so happy to see that you're all safe." "And she's gonna go right down the line and just kind of..." "She's gonna give a version of the hug she gave Thorol, but much less, like, it's more like just kind of like 'and you, and you' "Like, going down the line, this was much more, like, she was truly..." "Me was like that Armageddon hug." "Right, like, truly happy to see that, you know, Thorol wasn't dead." "When she hugs Duncan, Duncan says, 'See, I told you I'd bring him back.'" "And she just kind of gives him a smile." "Like, that's cute. That's cute. Cats me on the head." [Laughter] "I hate little fella." "I love how everyone who's excitable or small is like a pet, basically, in this realm." [Laughter] "She's gonna get to Brianna, and she kind of stops short." "And the two of them are just... they're kind of looking at each other like they don't know what to say." "Like, there isn't really words for it, and eventually Talia's just gonna kind of very slowly step forward and kind of hug Brianna." "And Brianna, after a second, is kind of bring her arms up and hug her back." "Is it like a meaningful hug, or is it like a..." "It's very... it takes a while, but they hug each other longer than any of you guys.

It takes a while for them to kind of come to terms with it." "So, after a bit, they kind of let it go, and Talia's gonna kind of pan over to everyone." "What happened out there? All I heard was that all of the Warforged are dead?" "Or dying." "Were they slain in battle?" "Kinda. More or less." "Yeah." "Just not by, like, an opponent." "I think they got sick." "They all seem to drop down. They seem like they are rusting away." "She's kind of like thinking over that that's a miracle. It's truly a miracle that our city's gonna be safe." "I want to thank each and every one of you for doing what you did, and bringing together defenses, and standing in front of our gates and fighting them." "I can never repay you for that." "Yes you can!" [Laughter] "Do you say that?" "Yes I do!

I do say that." "And she kind of looks perplexed. 'What? What can I do?'" "You know your husband?" "Yes." "There's some stuff you really need to know about him." "And the look on her face is kind of getting a little more like, 'Okay, what?'" "What did he do? I talked to him and I thought I made it clear that he was supposed to treat you with at least a modicum of respect while you were helping us defend the city." "Did he say something inappropriate to you?" "Duncan just looks over at Bree." "Bree's not even making eye contact. She's just kind of looking down." "And...go ahead." "I was gonna say, can I just, like, nudge her?" "Like, kind of like, go on?" "Sure." "Yeah." "Um, so she...you can tell she does not want to have this conversation, but it's...yeah." "After a couple seconds she looks up and..." "Do you remember the conversation I had before I left the city with you?" "And Tally is just kind of nodding her head." "And she says, 'After you left I thought you made it up and you just...you were embarrassed and didn't...you didn't want to deal with it.'" "Um, and Bree just kind of shakes her head, 'No, he did kill my father, and I watched him kill your father.'" "He...he can't be allowed to rule.

He...we need to do something about it." "Um, Talia is...her expression's hardening a bit." "You realize that's a lot to take in. That...I understand he has hard edges, but you're accusing him of murder." "And treason." "And you don't have any proof to back it up." "And she's gonna look...she's gonna kind of look over to the party, 'Do any of you have any proof whatsoever?'" "So no, or anybody?" "Thank you." "Tell her that he's communicating the guys who fought. Tell her that he did that." "Well I mean that's not proof." "But it's another juicy thing." "This proof is a dick." "Mention it at some point." "Where are we...are we driving at the burn mark on the side of her face?

Is that where we're driving at?" "I mean you can." "Okay." "Then I'll reach up and just kind of like pull her hair back when I pull her hair." "I was about to say, 'Wow!'" "Move it with my giant bullfingers." "Inward seems like he would just pull her hair though." "Just yank on her hair." "I like how you're..." "My hand's bigger than her head, so I'm just kind of like..." "I like how you're leaning up. Like you're gonna...are you laying on the ground?" "No." "I know what he means." "I'm behind her. I'm behind her. I'm like reaching over her." "Okay, okay, okay." "I'm sure his hand is still lower than her head." "Just grab her face, she'll know." "Well as soon as you go to touch her hair, she's gonna reflexively pull back." "Like just really...just get your fucking hands off her." "Like she doesn't...like anyone touching that portion of her face, like she gets really reflexive." "But...and she kind of understands what you're going at." "And she kind of pulls her hair back and she shows the burn marked Italia." "That's...the night we spoke, Ian must have overheard or found out." "And he...he burned my face and then I left the city right after." "He told me if I ever spoke to you again that he would kill me." "Italia's gonna step forward and...she's a bit taller than Brie." "And she's gonna put her hands on her shoulders." "I need you to be 100% honest with me." "Did everything happen exactly like you said it did?" "And...Brie's kind of teary-eyed but not crying." "Like it's...it's really shitty and painful to kind of remember." "And she's...she's just gonna nod her head yeah." "And Italia's gonna kind of draw her in and kind of give her another hug." "This kind of seems more apologetic than anything." "Like something should have been done about this years ago." "And she's gonna kind of turn her head back towards the group." "What do you want to do?" "He needs to be punished." "I understand that but how?" "You understand he's not going to...Ian is not the type to relinquish power." "Would he hurt you?" "I...I wouldn't think so but honestly I don't know." "Well...you know Ian's a coward right?" "How do you mean?" "I mean that every time we've confronted him he's...he's gone away." "He ran away from the Tournament of Champions when he lost." "And just outside the gates here when he told us that he was excommunicating the people from this town..." "Who decided to be brave and fight for this city." "He cowered from us again." "He was ready to fight us and when we showed any sign of intimidation he backed down." "I think that if we were there I don't think that there's much he would do." "I honestly don't know to be honest." "I don't see him giving up his lordship." "Who are the people going to listen to?" "You have to understand that when the city was attacked years ago..." "He was one of the people who stood at the gates and helped defend the city." "And ever since then it's been his mission to protect everyone in Winterhaven." "There...people look up to him here." "And I understand he's done horrible things and I understand he has to be punished for it." "But I don't think he's a horrible person deep down." "I think he gets paranoid.

I think...I think he has a problem accepting help." "He has a problem accepting...accepting...responsibility for things and people." "If we just...if we just talk to him I think we can...I think I can get him to maybe..." "He's lived his whole life this way." "He'll just be able to worm his way out." "If you want we can deal with him." "How do you mean deal with him?" "He's riled a few of our members." "He definitely doesn't deserve the position he has." "And the people deserve a better person." "You're not talking about killing him, are you?" "I personally am." "She's gonna step right up to Fie." "No one is going to hurt him." "Again, if you give me the chance I'm sure I can talk him down and..." "Maybe we can get him to surrender and..." "There can be a trial, we can question him, something, but..." "You can't just kill him." "Why not?" "It's the least he deserves." "He deserves to be locked in a dungeon the rest of his life, but that won't happen." "He was very much ready to kill us not too long ago." "When was this?" "Uh, right before we came here." "Did he threaten you in some way? Again, I can talk to him, I just..." "I need to know what he's done so that I can..." "He threatened Una." "It was a good job Duncan managed to talk us down." "I'm guessing Una's one of your party members?" "She is." "She's currently with Ironhide looking for the mage." "Alright, just give me a chance to talk to him." "If you want to be in the room with me when I do so, that's fine." "But give me the chance to actually talk some sense into him, alright?" "I think all of us should be in the room." "I think we should wait for the rest of our party." "Alright, let me..." "Let me see if I can find him and we can settle this rationally, alright?" "And unless you have anything else to say, she's going to break away." "Alright, let's catch up with the other party, I guess." "Let's catch up with the rest of everyone." "Woo, off-mute." "I wonder if you could actually settle this diplomatically." "With who?" "Isn't killing Ian the diplomatic option?" "For you, yeah, but you're talking about murdering her husband." "Shhh, shhh, shhh." "Like she's still, she's still like..." "Don't kill him." "There still isn't 100% proof, like if she had proof that Ian had murdered her father..." "Well there is no proof." "That would be it. I'm saying there is no proof." "I'm saying like there's no proof ever in this world." "She once, but that's not true at all." "Okay, what?" "Witnesses." "Witnesses." "But that was the point." "We're saying that we, that she is a witness." "Right, that's what I'm saying, that's the, I mean that's, but it is her word against his, like hardcore, but there's no video, there's nothing like that, but I mean that's the closest thing to proof that you have, but..." "Okay, so we need to get everyone in a closet and just like, see Bree and Ian talk to each other and Bree has to like coax it out of him." "Of course I killed her." "Wait, seriously, if Bree could..." "You know like every radio show where they leave the mic on, like that." "If Bree could just do something where she tells it, like, Ian doesn't know that we brought it to Talia yet, so Bree could just say I'm gonna tell Talia and then..." "And then all nine of us spill out of a closet, aha, we got..." "Surprise!" "Gotta roll athletics to see who falls down." "We all take ten damage whoever falls." "You put Ironhide in the back, shit, out!" "We all just like stumble out of the closet." "It doesn't have to be a closet, it could be the next room, you know?" "Let's say we are stuck in this closet." "Well I mean, like, let's stick with the closet." "We're all just like climbing on top, just like, we're all on top of each other cramped in this closet." "Ow, my foot!" "Okay, so we're in the closet." "Yenward, get your hoof out of my face." "All of us just wrapped around Yenward and wearing them." "That's not my hoof." "Someone just, someone just farts and everybody's like silently just like, 'No!' "Yenward." "Every sitcom cliche ever, let's just do that." "Wait, if you're here, then who's the foe?" "We get an argument over the space and we have to put tape down the middle of the closet." "That's yours, this is ours." "Yeah, that's yours, this is ours." "Then someone's mother-in-law's coming to visit?" "Cancel." "Then everybody has the Carlton." "Okay, let's...good God." "The biggest one grows up to be a crack whore.

The end." "Was that a different strokes reference?" "I don't know, they all got into drugs." "That's true, actually." "It could also be a full house reference." "Well, Jodie Sweetin wasn't the youngest one, though, so..." "Anyway, sorry, what the...Jesus Christ, this is the most group one-iest group one ever." "Okay, what are we doing here?" "It's 'cause there's two group ones now, Jason!" "Apparently..." "Is that an insult?" "I don't know, I don't know how you...no, because you're just doing what you've always done." "I mean, you've always been group one material." "You can't be mad at group one for being group one, okay?" "No..." "That's what we do." "The cat's got a purr, you know?" "Alright, so..." "Why is the cat purring?" "That's what cats do." "Who brought the cat in the closet? Aww." "Curtis, you should all mute." "'Cause you're not gonna not talk." "I'm gonna mute you." "Good, now that he's gone." "Alright, so wandering Winterhaven Hall, the rest of the party here, which would be Ironhide, Una, Jadsey, and Valis." "And you're looking for...you're looking for Aladdin Duskwalker, right?" "That motherfucker." "Mm-hmm." "Do me a favor, Ironhide, roll Perception." "Perr-ception is...team." "On the script. Thirteen." "Thirteen." "So, okay, just based on...so you were in the War Room situation, okay, I'm just trying to remember." "So you know what the guy looks like, you've seen him before, so does Una." "And he's not very hard to spot, like he's kind of in full regalia, like he's got these badass..." "There's nobody that looks like him." "No, there is nobody in Winterhaven that looks like Aladdin Duskwalker.

Big, fucking, like kind of a tall dude, he is totally, easily spotable." "Can I do a history check on him?" "You absolutely can." "Twenty-six." "Twenty-six. Aladdin Duskwalker currently rules over Umineiro, and rules his...it's more of a collective, almost a co-op that they run, so he is in charge, he makes the decisions, but it's not...he's not a king, he's not a... ...a lord or a tsar or anything like that." "It's a democracy." "Kind of a democracy, yeah." "I love the Rick Grimes thing." "It's not a democracy." "So, the...he took over after Thermac was ousted. So, Thermac and Seacole Loreweaver were kind of ousted and excommunicated from Umineiro, and shortly after all of the Warforged were too." "After that, the city took flight.

They invested all of their research and time and effort into completely taking the city out of Theria. Like, that was their idea. It was like, 'I don't want to deal with any of this anymore.' We don't...we had a proper defense, but that came at the cost of enslaving a race. Like, creating a race and then enslaving it. So, I don't want anything to do with it, let's just pull out." "Since then, Duskwalker's entire platform for ruling over Umineiro is just keep your head down, study, do it. That's what you...that's what you...this is a place of learning, that's what you're here to do.

Don't get involved in the outside world at all. Not even a little." "The guy is pretty high and mighty. He thinks pretty highly of himself, and people like him. People who spend their life in pursuit of knowledge are head and shoulders above those who would pick up a sword or axe or hammer and swing at something. So, he looks down on adventures in general." "So, is Jedzia telling us all this?" "Mm-hmm. She sounds really smart, too. What's she saying?" "Smells really good, too. I hate to say it." "Just like that blood smell. Blood and fire." "It's a great combination, you know?" "What the fuck does he do all day to earn that smell?" "Um...fuck." "So, how would you like to approach this guy?

Like, what is the battle plan here?" "Just talking to him." "Diplomacy. As diplomatic as possible." "Diplomani-ze." "Diplomani-ze." "Okay. Let's see if we can find a map to put you guys on in case this doesn't." "Okay, Plumani, you can take care of that." "My diplomacy's as good as my heal is." "How good is both of those?" "I was five." "Okay, yeah." "My diplomacy is plus four." "Single digits." "Okay. Do you guys wanna know about, like, magic and shit and history? I'm right here. I got it." "Oh, what's your arcane?" "Twelve." "Oh, mine's sixteen, but you're cute." "Oh." "I'm sorry, it's one thing I'm good at.

I'm dying!" "Can you point again? I missed it." "Uh, hold on one second." "I'm just gonna see what's fighting now." "Right in here, yeah, yeah, yeah. All good." "We have a Valus also?" "Damn it, we're close by." "I know that picture. That's the one I used to have. Jaffar." "Okay." "So how shitty do we look? This is an important question." "Well, I mean, you've been in a battle today. Like, you've, I mean, you're kinda beat up. I mean, you fought dozens of Hoarforged and then you fought that giant titan, so I'm not sure if you've ever fought that giant titan." "So, I mean, you are... yeah.

Not to mention, Ironhide looks terrible." "Yeah, he's not presentable." "Straighten his tie." "Yeah!" "Okay, yeah, let's, uh, let's, uh, walk up to him and bow." "Bow." "Bow." "You're asking Ironhide to bow?" "Before, before we walk up to him, um, we're just gonna, like, turn to the others and say, 'Look, guys, he's, he's a wizard, he's, he's a giant." "He's a wizard, he's Uminero, that's probably gonna be kinda full of himself. I suggest we cater to that as much as possible." "I respect you, but I'm not going to bow to that." "That's fair." "My people just died on the battlefield. I have no idea what's going on, and if he had anything to do with it, he can go fuck himself." "You are exempt from all, from all having to respect him, but for those of us who, who weren't directly affected by it, we can't all be hostile." "God, this could go bad." "But as much as, just, just try not to talk too much, or say, say something that might make him angry right away." "His bow is bowing, that's what I want to know." "Bow is bowing to shit." "Unless it's, okay, look, if Jet, okay, if it's, like, he'll follow suit, but it ain't gonna be, like, it's..." "Wait, does that mean he'll curtsy?" "Are we on Twitter?

Is that what's happening now? Let's..." "If he sees Jadzia kind of, like, following along with the plan, he'll just kind of, like, grumble and just, and, and, like, he'll, he'll lean over a little bit, but it's just the most minor, yeah, like, he'll..." "No." "Okay, let's walk..." "So, yeah, okay, so you, you guys are walking up to him as a party, and then you, you all kind of bow in some fashion or another, except for Ironhide. Alana's gonna lock eyes with Ironhide right away, and he's gonna look over to Una. Can I help you?" "With all due respect, I think you're asking the wrong person that question." "Any kind of cocks one eyebrow up?

Very, very, very cocky." "We want to know what's happening to the Warforged." "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about." "Clearly, our friend here is not healthy. It appears to be some sort of magical thing happening to him, since you are from the renowned city of Uminero, and a highly respected official there. We figured maybe you would know." "Roll a Diplomacy check, please." "It's the most diplomatic I've ever been on the show. Crit!" "That's diplomatic as fuck!" "Can I, can I, can I, like, give him a very sexy smile and add that +1 Seducer perk?" "Um, okay, hold on, just take the 35.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay, I was about to say." "That was very nice of him." "You can tell this guy kinda likes his ego stroked a little bit. Like he kinda digs it. And it sounded sincerest, just like, yeah, he, he, it's like, it didn't mean anything." "Could mean something?" "Um, he's, so he's kind of, he's looking over at Una." "Well you heard correct, and although I'm not exactly sure what's happening to your friend here, I can tell you that it's probably for the best." "Can I Insight check the fuck out of that?" "Uh, please, yes." "Can we all do it?

My passive insight is 23, did that guy roll to lie to us?" "Oh right, passive is..." "That's a lie. I mean, he's sorry, but it is a lie." "Oh, there it is, it's 19 passive, but I rolled a 21." "Alright, well then, let's, let's, first, let's have him roll a check actually, that would be against your passive insight." "Come on, come on." "But we're already kind of..." "It could be like, plus 28, like, we just know it, you know?" "Yeah." "I hope it's a 2. I'll give him 2, not a 1." "Yes, doesn't pass!" "Una's got it." "Uni!" "Uni, one off." "Um, yeah, so he's, he's essentially telling you, like, 'Oh, it, it sucks, but I don't know, I don't really know what's happening, but thanks for the compliment.' That's, that's essentially what he's..." "Okay, okay, I've got this." "Um, don't play modest.

An intellect such as yours would surely sense this magic. There's no way someone as brilliant as you, someone as respected as you, would not know. Diplomacy again, or is that, is that writing on my awesome crit?" "No, no, you gotta, diplomasize again." "26." "26. Um, nothing to scoff at. Um, again, this dude definitely likes to have his ego stroked. Well, uh, if you'd like to work together, perhaps we could find out exactly what's wrong with your friend here. And he's gonna kind of sidle up next to Una." "Oh, this is getting gross." "You asked for it." "Yeah, fair enough.

Okay, um, Una's gonna vomit. Um, when was he checked to swallow it without anyone noticing? Oh, um, uh, I guess she'll just, like, raise an eyebrow, work together?" "It's no secret. I have no love for the Warforged. None in my city do. But if it would help you in some small way, I'm sure we could put our heads together and..." "And he looks over to Ironhide. We could perhaps offer them some assistance. At least put them out of their misery more quickly." "Ironhide's gonna growl at that." "Um..." "Damn it!" "Okay, so that, like, inaudible, just kind of..." "Just really low." "Okay.

He's gonna pick up on your animosity. And he's gonna kind of, like, level, like, just kind of narrow his eyes. I understand it's very difficult for your kind, but there's no need to be aggressive. I am not the one you should be upset with." "Who should we be upset with?" "Again, he's gonna raise an eyebrow. And he's, like, he kind of gets it, like, 'Oh shit.' Like, that was not something, he's like, 'Oh fuck.'" "I just said that. Okay." "No, okay, well let's backtrack that." "Now, wait." "I'm not saying there should be anyone specific at all. I'm just saying I'm not the cause of his ailment." "Well, let's check.

Come on. Come on. Don't pass that passive insight." "Oh no." "Yes!" "He's kind of a sunnier." "Oh man, even I know something's fucked up about that." "So you're picking up in his voice that it's just a little, like, a little more rapid fire, a little more like that." "I saw that also." "Oh wow, every one of you picked up on that." "The stupid robe it also heard." "Wait, even Valus? Did Valus get it?" "No way." "Jesus, even Valus picked up on that." "Oh my god, what's his? What's his?" "He's like, 'He's lying!'" "Valus is gonna step up next to Jadzia.

Kind of picking up that something's off, he's gonna kind of step right up next to Jadzia here, so there is a line of you guys in front of Aladdin here. How would you like to deal with this?" "Okay, um, I can see this going bad." "So far you've been rolling high." "Yeah, so far, okay, um, let's see. I gotta think of a way to compliment him but also get him to tell us what happened." "Well just make it sound like it doesn't have to be your burden, just tell us who did it and we can handle that person." "Like, you're sorry, you did it, but..." "Yeah, um, okay, okay, um, so, uh, Una's gonna kind of step up just a little bit closer to him and lower her voice." "Someone with as much wisdom and knowledge as you have shouldn't have to carry the burden of somebody else's crime, whatever it was.

We have nothing against you, we just want to know what happened." "Go ahead and roll diplomacy." "22." "Oh! Not bad." "It's not too bad, that's not too bad at all." "It's breakable." "It's not as good as I've been rolling, but it's not too bad." "Um, Aladdin is going to kind of lean in next to Una here." "You understand we have no one to fight. We did want to offer assistance because we felt somewhat obligated. There were some of us within the city who felt that the Warforged were our mess." "We simply offered your friend an opportunity to take care of it without unnecessary bloodshed." "What friend?" "No, you wouldn't have, you, okay, do me a favor, roll perception." "I roll perception!" "It would have to be fairly high, though, to pick up on that." "I'm at an 8!" "No, no, so Ironhide did not hear that." "I don't care." "Neither did Jadzia." "Do you want to roll a run for Valus?" "Sure, why not." "He's my brother, I know shit." "14.

He didn't hear it either, so that's just Una." "She's going to lean in even closer, she's whispering in his ear almost, and just, um, which friend might that be?" "Do me a favor, roll diplomacy." "And I'll give you the Seducer perk just because of the whispering thing." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, just lick his ear lobe a little bit." "Too far." "I didn't do that, I was not canning." "Okay, I was like, hey, you're taking some liberties here. We were flirting and then you went somewhere else." "Yeah, they liked that." "Just give him a Wet Willy." "Got you." "And he's gonna whisper back to Una." "Maukas, the leader of this party, we gave him the opportunity to end the war with unnecessary, without any unnecessary bloodshed, and to be honest, we were right in trusting him. He seems to have made the wise decision, and..." "I think it worked out best for everyone." "Um, okay, on the surface, Una looks very calm, but like, one of her hands is clenched so hard that like there's like, she's like cutting into it.

And she's gonna say, like, still, still whispering, 'I respect your decision. It was obviously came from a place of wisdom. Is there anything we can do to help our one friend here, though?'" "Um, go ahead and roll diplomacy." "Do I get the plus one for producer? Because I'm still whispering?" "Yeah, whisper." "That was a 19, by the way, for anyone listening." "I'm honestly afraid that your friend is quite dead. It's only a matter of time. Although if you'd like me to help put him out of his misery, I can offer that assistance." "What if we moved his soul into a new warforged?" "You'd have to roll perception to see if you're hearing them speak." "Oh right, yeah, whisper." "It just looks like we're sitting there, like our face is next to each other." "Um, you would pick up on what they were just saying, yes." "Okay, what if the thing I just said..." "Nice, nice input, I like it." "And he's gonna kinda exercise it, like, 'Oh, you heard that shit.'" "By the way, you guys are gross." "Honestly, I wouldn't even bother.

There's nothing worth saving about any of them." "Uh, iron hide roll perception, please." "I'll percept." "Nine." "Better, getting better." "To be honest, I'm surprised he's still standing. He must have quite the constitution." "The best thing you can do is either kill him yourself, or let time pass and I'm sure he'll be taken care of eventually." "Okay, um, Unus is gonna pull back from him, bow again, and say 'Thank you for your time,' and then just turn on a heel and start, like, huffling away, like 'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.'" "Okay, so you're just turning away. I guess the rest of the party would follow you?" "Yeah, they can stick around.

Cape Swish walking away, I guess." "Oh, ew." "Not really, I'll just kind of wait for them to do whatever." "Yeah." "Not like leaving the room or anything." "Jodzia's gonna kinda side-eye iron hide, like, 'We should go, but what do you wanna do?' kind of thing. I would like to leave, but..." "Uh, Aladdin's kind of looking down his nose at Ironhide the entire time, just, like, watching him walk away. Almost a smile. Like, he's almost wearing a smile." "We've never walked away from so many fights in one episode. Granted, it's only been two, but still." "That's still tops.

Like, I don't think any of you, either group, has walked away from two fights in a single episode. That's, uh, that's unprecedented." "Achievement. Leveled up from that." "Anyone wanna take a quick break and then come back?" "No. I'm not dead for a week now." "Is group one here?" "Uh, yeah. I need to get the power cord from my laptop and that'll take, like, 30 seconds, so..." "Go ahead, go go go." "Alright, I'll be right back, too." "I'll give you 29 seconds, Dan." "To be fair, when group one walks away from a fight, there's an hour and a half of arguing beforehand." "Yeah.

True. That has happened, yes." "Because of repercussions! Can't do it." "So, now you know that Malkus did it." "He's gonna be sorry." "If you want to, group three can just speak right now. Like, 'cause we can talk about that." "Could? Oh, no, Bree left." "Damn it! Everything's just..." "Might be a good thing for everyone to meet up and just chit chat about it." "Well, group one doesn't give a shit, so..." "So, we go, Kiril?" "That's an interesting stance to take." "You already said you didn't care about the Warforged dying and shit like that. Like, you guys already said it, yeah, I don't care." "How long does it take to get to Uminyuru from here?" "On foot?

Or on horseback?" "Horse." "Not a week." "Okay." "Alright, go ahead, brief each other." "Okay, um, the second we get in sight of the other people, Una will just like, just fuckin' like, punch anything that's nearby and just yell, 'It was fucking Malkus!'" "Um, Bree's gonna take note of that. What was Malkus?" "He's the one who set the thing on the Warforged to kill them all." "See, but you know that was a thing." "Yeah, you just got, you just did a scene." "No, but we don't, we don't know it was a thing." "No, okay." "What thing on the thing? What are you talking about?" "Malkus had some kind of device, and he used it on the Warforged and killed most of them." "That's what's going on with me right now, and he points at the fine rust on his skin." "Uh, Bree's gonna kinda step forward.

That can't be right. Why would he do that?" "Why wouldn't he? He hates the Warforge. He's also a coward who would run from battle." "He ran right when he knew the consequences would be his life. That's what Malkus does. He runs." "The entire point of this was to get an army together to fight. I don't..." "The only explanation is that he is the worst kind of coward. He wouldn't even face his enemies." "He's gonna saddle, uh, Ironhide's gonna saddle right up next to Bree and said, 'During the building of this army, he started to crumble. He's not the same guy that you knew before.

He's not even a man anymore.'" "Um, uh, Duncan just kinda looks down and reluctantly says, 'But by doing that, didn't we win?'" "By doing that, he committed genocide. That's what he did." "But he didn't...he didn't hate all the Warforge. He just did it to save people on our side." "And so when he did that, he didn't have enough...he didn't have enough respect for himself by standing here, staying his ground, and dealing with the consequences. He ran like a child." "I understand him running is awful, but...I mean, and I look over at Thoril. Can we say we wouldn't have done the same thing?

Not run, but..." "Yeah, I can't...I can't possibly have any sort of defense for why he would run, especially after everything, all the grief that he gave you for standing and doing nothing. I can't defend that, but I kinda gotta agree with Duncan." "It's...I don't think he did it simply because he hated Warforged or he hated you. Just in his twisted little mind, this was his way of dealing with the situation and what he thought was best for everybody." "You mean this is the way he cleans up his mistakes? You know that dwarf?" "I look up at Ironhide.

I heard you, Ironhide. You were gonna turn on us when this was over. You don't have any respect for us. Any of us. I didn't do anything to you." "It's not about you. It's about the situation for the Warforged and..." "No, when you were talking to your friend, you said that all of us were worthless and you had no respect for us. You were gonna leave us." "Which one? Turn on you or leave on you?" "Well, okay fine. You were gonna leave us. And you said that you didn't respect any of us. I never did anything to you. Why don't you have respect for us?" "Malkus never said he didn't have respect for us." "Is that why he ran?" "I don't know why he ran.

And I'm not gonna defend the fact that he ran. But I don't think you should be sitting here talking about how bad of a person he was or how bad his decision was when you don't have any respect for us for no reason." "There's a reason." "Why don't you have respect for me? What did I do to you?" "It has nothing to do with what you did. It's what the group did before you joined up with us again." "Then why don't you... But you're making me a part of it. You're lumping me in with them and I didn't do anything. You've judged me for no reason besides the fact of who I spend my time with.

How is that any better than what they did?" "I'm judging what the group did when I was talking to Titan Grip." "I'm part of the group and you were gonna leave me too." "Yes." "You said we're all worthless." "Yes." "Don't lump us in with something that Malkus did. If Malkus is the person that you hate and the person you want to abandon, then go fight him. Go abandon him. Don't do it to us. We didn't... We weren't doing anything like that to you." "Back at Uminuro, when you overheard what the War Force were created to do. What was your... What did you think?

What did you say? Did you defend us? Did you actually say that was bullshit? That shouldn't have happened? You shut the hell up and you said nothing." "You were there? I figured you'd be able to defend yourself. I'm not... Do I have to sit here and defend every single, like, thing against my party? I assumed you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself." "See, that's what makes us different. If something happened to humans or something like that, we're vampires? That you were a vampire before. Sorry, words." "So somebody said, 'Let's hunt down all the vampires,' like Liara did.

Did I not have your back at that point when a vampire came to kill you?" "I don't think you're in any position to be bringing up having my back when it comes to vampires right about now." "You're talking about building the army?" "I think you have no room right now to be speaking about having my back when it comes to vampires." "What was our job when we left Winterhaven, when we left the White Ravens? What was our sole duty? Building an army, yes?" "Yes." "Getting as many people for the army, yes?" "As many trustworthy people." "Trustworthy? The Dragonborn is really not trustworthy?

Are mages really that trustworthy?" "What did Yngwyr do?" "What are you talking about?" "Why is Yngwyr worthless?" "What are you talking about?" "You said the whole group was worthless. Why am I worthless? Why is Yngwyr worthless? What did we do?" "This has nothing to do with you. We already put that, like you weren't there at Umm in Europe." "Right, but you said the whole group. I'm part of the group. Yngwyr is part of the group." "Yeah. They failed to react to what was going on at Umm in Europe. To the Warforge, and then afterwards when we were cast out and then hunted down again right now." "Okay, I apologize that I hadn't defended you at that time.

At that time I was a little peeved at your actions, especially when it came to Durnhollow." "What about Durnhollow? I think we all did something there that we're not very proud of." "I would say some of us more than others." "At which part? When I was looking over Draconis? Somebody who turned their back on us? When I was looking over him while he did his deed in that room?" "Or when Yngwyr was just attacked because he was different from other people." "That was a shit town, and if it burns, we'll all be better for it." "So, I wasn't there, but it sounds like you judged the whole town based on the actions of a few people." "Which is exactly what you're angry at the Overwatch for." "Look, I don't know if we have time to talk about this right now." "We just spoke with Talia, and we need to be there because she's going to be talking to Ian soon." "We told her what happened with Brianna." "And you seem to have your issues as well, and that's fine, but maybe we should try to move on this and just come back to this later." "Or maybe we should just..." And then he gets dunked and gets flushed and just looks down and can't talk anymore." "Brianna's going to get ready and just wander away from this." "Can I follow her out and say something?

Ironhide on my way out?" "Sure." "I didn't feel your hand on my shoulder so much longer, so don't go talking to me about having people's backs, man." "I have dogs in my own fight, I don't need to fight yours." "He's just going to let him go." "Your band is falling apart, man." "I'll walk out with him and just say to Ironhide, 'Listen, we all have done stuff we're not proud of, but I would never, ever call you worthless.'" "Let's drive this mic." "Now pick it back up, because we're still doing this." "Guys, that was hardcore as fuck." "I was just doing it like, 'whew.'" "So, since Brianna and Ynward and Thoril are gone?" "Yeah, I guess so." "I'm assuming they're going back to Talia. If you guys want to help with the Yn situation, you might want to come with us. If you don't, I understand." "Did you get her permission to kill him?

Can we do this now?" "She wants to confront him first, but she wants us there in case anything happens." "Let's bring him back from the battlefield and drag him in there." "Is Yn just come back?" "Yeah, he's gone." "Talia went to get him. This is specifically to have a conversation actually." "No, it's going to be Duncan. Go ahead, explain more." "No, no, no, go, go, go, go. That's fine." "We told her about what happened outside the city gates and about how he punished the soldiers that fought with us." "And we told her about him threatening Una and she wants to speak with him before we do anything further." "I think that we should give her the respect to let her do that." "I see nothing wrong with that, but he will die." "I hope so." "Okay, let's go." "So who's going, is everyone going?

Is Ironhide, like, what's going on?" "Yeah, I guess you do." "So we're all, okay, as a party, even though you hate each other for the most part." "We're banding together for the greater good, Jason." "I don't hate anybody." "Greater good was last week." "This is the greater good part too." "I was going to say, nothing ever happens, but fucking the greater good is mentioned. Last time that was, it was genocide, so let's see." "Somebody's gonna bail." "Did you, real quick, did you get the email from Sean about that? About the genocide thing?" "Yes, I did, actually, yes, I did." "It's a fantastic email, isn't it?" "It is, like he, he's the one who compared it more to the dropping of the bomb." "Yeah, he explained, I kind of worked it in, how it's not actually genocide because he didn't have hate for him." "It was, in his mind, he was doing it to save other people, so it was more like Truman than Hitler." "Yeah, and I was like, no, actually, that's a pretty good analogy, that's a good comparison." "Alright, you know what, we could use this same map, actually." "I don't know, because it sounds like a lot of, what was it, like the weapon was made for hatred." "It was made to end something, and like, Malchus saw that as like another way to, I don't know, get more press or something like that." "Like, I don't think he did, it's like, great or good." "We'll save it for a mailbag." "I hate Malchus." "I don't hate Malchus, I think Malchus did it right there." "Oof." "Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet, Jason." "Oof." "I hate Malchus for leaving us." "He never calls." "Yeah, there's that." "Duncan has abandonment issues, so." "Well, yeah, but fucking Ironhide's gonna walk out on me too, Rotz was already walked out on me, Draconis was walked out on me, Yennard's about out of fucks to give." "Aww." "I'll tell you what, I'll give you a hug right after this." "Fuck you, you know what, you don't like me, I'm worthless, I should chop your fucking rusty head off." "Aww." "Poor kid." "You never picked me up after the baseball game." "You're my family." [Laughter] "I love you, I love you." "I love you, I love you, I love you." "Alright." "Let's, Jesus, let's do this, let's see what happens here." "Oh, Jesus." "Oh man, okay." "There's gonna be two people talking right now." "Tally and Ian are already mid-conversation." "Like, they're, this is more..." "You can tell this just started." "Where Ian is essentially asking, it's like, I don't understand, what do you want?" "What do you need right now?" "And then the party comes walking in, led by Brianna." "Brianna was the first to walk out of the room and she is making a beeline for this." "And..." "As soon as Ian sees Bri and then the party kind of rolls up behind her..." "He, like, he gets hyper defensive." "And, like, I'm not talking to this band of psychotics." "And he's going to get ready and try to leave the room." "I'll block the doorway." "Yeah, yeah, not gonna happen." "Get out of my way." "He'll put two fingers in his chest and just kind of nudge him back in the room." "Make an athletics check please." "Sure thing, baby." "You three." "28." [Laughter] "So, Ian's gonna kind of take..." [Laughter] "Like a ripe tomato." "He's gonna take, like, a few steps back, like, that kind of, like, pushes him back a little bit." "And he's..." "He almost reaches for his weapon." "So, I'll grab the handle of mine, like..." "I'll do it." "I go, Talia, did you see it?

Did you see him? He almost grabbed his weapon." [Laughter] "Tally's gonna shout after him. Ian!" "We need to talk." "These people here have some accusations." "Mm-hmm." "And to be honest, I'd like an explanation." "And he's gonna turn and look at Talia." "Explanations for what?" "And she's gonna kind of look at Brianna." "Did you burn this girl's face?" "That's, that's for starters, but..." "Is that true? Did you..." "Did you hurt her because she was talking to me?" "Now, this room is full of people." "All of which are against Ian." "He has had run-ins with just about each and every one of you." "He doesn't appear to have a friend in this situation." "And you can see him... go ahead and roll Perception." "Everyone, please." "Errbody, okay." "23." "Errbody." "13." "13, wow, that was a shitty roll." "No, 21." "8!" "Natural 20!" "Nice, okay." "Err, Jadzia, Ironhide..." "And...

Fee." "Jadzia, Ironhide, and Fee are gonna notice that he is getting..." "Tense." "Really tense, really defensive, really..." "The girl's crazy." "We've already discussed this, she's..." "She's completely unstable." "You should see the way she was threatening me outside." "Bluff check?" "Yeah, well, best thing, would..." "He have to roll a bluff check against Talia?" "Yeah, Talia." "Well, this would be more..." "This would be more you guys rolling Insight checks, honestly." "So go ahead and roll Insight checks." "Seriously, it wouldn't be against Passive Insight?" "Not really, no." "Because that's really more a PC thing, I did it in the last one." "29." "But it's really..." "Nah." "11." "29!" "Jesus Christ." "Duncan!" "Una!" "And Fee..." "Jadzia..." "Okay." "19 don't get it." "Does Talia get to roll?" "I'm doing that now." "24." "Oh shit." "Plus 8, how did she live with this fucker for so long?" "Wearing fucking blinders, no, no, no, no." "Well, maybe a situation where she doesn't want to believe that." "He's a good man, I would make it over." "Right, would you want to believe that your husband murdered your father and fucking usurped to get his power?" "Would you really want to believe that?" "Does he have a good life insurance policy?" [Laughter] "Okay, so we all know it's bullshit." "And she knows it's bullshit." "Yeah, most of you guys know it's bullshit." "Can I roll an intimidate check against him?" "You can!" "Because I actually have the best intimidate in a group that has a minotaur and a warforged." "The dwarven bard has the highest intimidate." "Littlest guy in the fight." "Playing slayer at him." "So, okay, after he says this and everyone's kind of looking at him, Talia, that doesn't sound right to me." "I don't believe this girl would threaten you at all." "And she kind of looks over at Bree." "I believe on a level she's frightened of you." "And I think you gave her a reason to be." "I'm going to do it now, can I do it now?" "Yep." "Okay." "20, is that good?" "What do you say to him?" "Okay. Is there a table nearby?" "Let's say for the sake of argument, yes." "Okay, I jump on the table." "That's silly." "That's Duncan, so yeah." "Yeah, so I jump up on the table, I go, 'You look here, you son of a bitch, we know you burnt that little girl.'" "We know you did, and you're going to tell her the truth right now." "You're in a room of people that all know the truth, and none of us like you, so you better start talking." "Um, Ian is going to wander over to Duncan here." "Let's say Duncan is here-ish." "Ian's going to wander right over to Duncan." "He's going to make an athletics check." "Oh, shit, he's going to kick him right off." "He's going to break his neck." "Who Duncan is?" "No, Ian is." "He's going to go back foot right in front of him." "And if it's higher than your fortitude..." "Oh, that's one higher than my fortitude." "He's going to kick the table and knock Duncan off." "Maybe he is right." "But no, that makes him look pretty bad, doesn't it?" "It doesn't make him look great, but I don't think he's winning this room over right now." "That's what I'm saying, it makes him look really bad." "Yeah, and we're just snickers a little bit, because he's a dwarf." "Um, and he's going to lean down over the prone body of Duncan." "You don't have any right to make demands of me, dwarf." "Can I do another jiminy check?" [Laughter] "Oh, I will kill you, you motherfucker." "You can, but take a negative two, because it's a little less intimidating that you're on the floor staring up at him." "So it's 25?" "27." "Okay, so what do you say to him?" "I say, you can bully me all you want, because that's all you are, is a bully." "You bullied her, you tried to bully us outside, you tried to take credit for a war that we won, and you're trying to bully all of us right now." "If you think you look good in this situation, you're wrong." "Now you need to tell her the truth." "Um, Ian's going to kind of back up a bit, and really scan over this entire room." "Then he's going to sidle right up next to Talia here." "I'm ready for an acrobat." "Uh, perception check?" "Hold on." "Oh no." "You... you can't believe these people." "We've been married for years, you wouldn't take their word over mine, I've done everything I can to protect this city." "They wandered away for 17 years, the rest of them are violent psychotics, you've seen them." "You can't believe that I would ever do anything to betray your trust." "And he is going to roll a bluff check." "That's more clicks." "No!" "Wow." "26!" "That's right." "It's a good february." "It's kind of what he does!" "Talia is... Talia's going to kind of look down." "And then, just kind of look back up into Ian's eyes." "Alright." "Then tell me what happened." "Ian is going to start to weave this tale." "Oh nice." "And he's about to make another bluff check." "But he starts to tell Talia of..." "Like the night that the city was under siege, that it was panic and chaos and it would have been very easy for Brianna to mistake what she saw." "And then want to blame someone for it and she can't blame the Warforged so she's got to blame him." "And like, just like on and on and on, just throwing all of this shit out there." "And then he is going to roll a bluff check." "Oh, 17." "Add another 20 to that.

Let's give him a chance." "Big bucks on my ass." "Talia is not buying that." "And he's kind of got his hands on her shoulders, just like pouring his heart out." "Just like trying to..." "No, this is how it is baby, this is how it is!" "And he's trying to..." "And she's just going to put a hand up to stop him from talking and then just kind of back up out of his grasp." "I think it's time the people of Winterhaven found out who you really are." "And she's going to go ahead and look at the party." "I'd like you to detain him if you could." "We can." "Yes ma'am." "She is going to turn on her heels and start towards the door." "Umm, athletics." "Can Una run after her?" "Hold on." "Oh, sorry." "Iain is gobsmacked that Talia would take your word over his." "No matter what he says, he should be like in his head, it's like I should be able to openly lie to you and you just say yeah." "He is going to draw Kord's gale." "Which is the sword in his fucking scabbard." "He is going to try and step forward and plunge this sword into the back of Talia." "If you'd like to roll an athletics check to try and stop that, go right ahead, but..." "I have to warn you that..." "Iain with a sword is incredibly fast, so you're going to take a negative three to your athletics check." "That's like part of the sword, right? It's supposed to be..." "Yes, that's what it does is thrust incredibly quickly." "In the time it takes you to step forward, it's..." "No!" "So please go right ahead." "Then I imagine he's doing that right when..." "Oh, wait, what the fuck?" "It was Thor that was supposed to do it." "Sorry, well I thought it was..." "I'll try and take Thor's moment." "It's okay, it's okay." "Everyone throw our main weapon at him." "Yeah, I can throw my hammer." "No, stop." "This is for him to fuck up." "This is Thor's moment to pass or fail." "Wait, let me tell you, just to prove that I'm not cheating." "If you get a 24 or higher, then you are going to interrupt this." "Yeah, so I'm looking for at least a 27 with that negative three here." "Negative three?" "Yep." "Oh my god, please, please, please, please, please." "Ugh." "Oh." "Ina's going to plunge his sword into the back of Talia." "Umm..." "Try it, guys." "Oh great, everyone roll initiative." "Doesn't make sure she's dead instantaneously." "Sword in the back is kinda..." "The sword goes right through her." "She's not wearing any armor." "She just took a shot from a legendary weapon with her no armor." "And she kind of lets out this whimper." "And the entire time, Ian is just leaning into her and then twists the sword." "And then draws it back violently." "And Talia is going to fall down to the ground dead." "She's just dead? We can't like fucking do anything to heal her?" "Even like our healing powers or anything?" "She's not like a fighter or anything.

She doesn't really have any of that stuff that we have." "But we have them." "Umm, we can get into that after this, but I would say the group should roll initiative." "And we roll." "Yeah." "Kay, don't kill him." "So he's going to attack us? He's going after us now?" "Oh, he's going to defend himself. I would imagine he knows that the jig is up." "Like he... like things are unraveling very quickly for him." "Nobody kill him." "Don't kill him." "We're going to torture him and put him on track." "I know it'd be nice to have a notable kill, but let's..." "You'll kill him afterward, but pain first." "Well you're dangling a notable kill in front of group one." "Pain guys, pain." "That's a big one." "He killed Talia, come on." "But here's the thing, if we keep him alive we can get him to admit to it." "Yeah, he won't." "If, no, his block is kinda shitty at this point." "Yeah, if the rolls go our way it won't be a problem, so..." "But if we kill him, they'll just assume we killed them both." "Right." "So he's just going to spill his guts about everyth..." "That's not going to happen, is it?" "I mean, we get..." "They laid works for him." "Let's deal with the fight first." "Okay, wait, wait, wait.

If during the fight, because there's a lot of us, if one of us runs up to Talia to try and get some healing in her..." "She's dead." "I think she's done for." "She was essentially stabbed through the heart." "Yeah." "We're going to need a rod swell in order to get anything up and running, so..." "I think this is a point where we don't have anything." "I don't instantly die." "Yeah." "Adventures don't instantly die." "PCs don't die." "Because you're wearing armor, you have higher concentration, you're trained to fight." "She is a noble woman who was stabbed in the back." "She is a professional woman right now." "With a legendary weapon, I might add." "This wasn't just like some fencing sword or something, this was..." "Like, honestly, if you walked up to a shopkeep and struck him with Kord's Fury, do you think he'd fucking live through that?" "No." "It depends where." "Let's say you hit him square in the back." "Yeah, let's say you hit him square in the back." "Okay, okay, okay, she's dead, she's dead, I just wanted to know." "This is just nothingness now." "Just don't kill him all the way. Gameplay, go." "He's still going to say that we can't really do anything about it." "He's still going to say that we killed Talia and then turned on him." "That's all that's going to happen." "But he doesn't..." "Oh my god." "Initiative!" "I did!" "I wrote one, but it didn't add it to the..." "What was yours then?" "I think it was 30." "Sure was." "Oh, cool." "I think it was." "What a block." "I get to the first, weeee." "It was actually 30." "Yeah, 30." "I do see it on the rolls." "Oh, 30! I thought you said 13." "Oh, wow, 30, good job." "Nice on blast." "Oof." "Oh shit, hold on a second." "I feel like I'm having good rolls today, but everybody else is having great rolls, except for Talia." "You dropped the ball." "Yeah, I kinda did." "What are you going to do?" "Uhh, hold on a second." "I'm getting like 18 to 19, so everyone else is getting 20." "I'd like to say we're doing pretty good." "This isn't going to end well." "So if people actually try to grab him, it'll lower his rolls for his armor class and his attack, right?

Like if somebody grabs him, it'll lower his roll for attacking and defending, right?" "Uhh, no, that has no effect, it just means he's immobilized." "That's it? So you just grab him around the waist and just like, 'don't hit me please.'" "Well, I mean, grabbing him is to keep him someplace, that's what that's for, usually." "Which won't mean much because we'll be practically surrounding him anyway." "Just hold him down and cut his other hand off." "Alright, this should be interesting." "Fie?" "Fie." "He's really so far down the line, he is, it's hilarious." "Okay, so Hunter's Quarry, which means if I hit him I get an extra d6. And Ambush Trick, which gets me up to there and gives me combat advantage.

And then a basic melee attack. And Backstab, that's an encounter." "So, that's poetic." "I get a +3 and +2 for combat advantage. Hit!" "Alright, gorgeous." "So, we have Sneaky Sack, which is 2d8. And we have Backstab, which is 2d6. And we have Hunter's Quarry, which is 1d6. 22 additional damage." "Jesus!" "He's dead on the ground." "That's on top of whatever you're about to do damage-wise, right?" "Yep." "Okay, go ahead, roll damage, add 22." "33." "Jesus." "Nice." "He said not to kill him." "He's selfish, you're going for that no-till." "We don't get our dailies back, right?" "Nope." "Okay, just making sure.

Jatzia, your turn." "Didn't use any of mine." "1, 2, 3, I'm concealed. Going to hit him with Frigid Darkness. Alright, I'm going to use Heroic Effort, so that's +4." "Okay." "So, do I hit him now?" "Uh, that is... yes you do." "Sweet. Bam, let me check that off so I don't use it again. Damage... Oh, I meant to curse him, fuck." "I say you do." "Okay, cool. So, with the curse... 12 damage... 18 damage, +4, so 22 damage." "Got it." "Also, the target grants combat advantage to me and all of my allies until the end of this next turn. Andy takes a penalty to AC equal to my Intelligence modifier, which is 3.

So -3 to that. To that AC thing. So, hit that guys." "Jesus, okay. Duncan, your turn." "Alright, let me move here. And we get combat advantage? Is that what I heard?" "You do." "So it's +2. So, I'm going to first use a daily, it's a minor action, Chance of Accuracy. It's a burst 10, and each ally in the burst gains a +2 power bonus to attack rolls until the end of my next turn. So, that is used. Does that cover pretty much everybody?" "Yeah, I think so." "Yes, okay. And, I'm going to use Warsong Strike. The song will be Coward of the County by Kenny Rogers.

Write that down." "Well done." "Thank you. Okay, it's +2 for combat advantage. 33!" "Jesus, yep. That'll hit." "Almost a crit. Not really. Okay, there we go. Damage on +2. 17 damage." "Okay, gorgeous. Anything else, sir?" "Nope, I'm good." "Okay. Oh my. Una, your turn." "Okay, let's use Windfury Assault, I believe." "Is that an encounter?" "It is." "Okay, yeah." "Yeah, let's use that. Okay, and I get a +4, right? From Duncan and then from Jadzia?" "No, my +2 is for attack." "Yep, it's a -3 to AC, and he grants combat advantage." "Okay, so combat advantage +2 to my attack roll." "Right." "I'm sorry, Mines of Power.

Mines of Power. Yeah." "Okay, okay. Attack. Come on. Fox6." "That is gonna be a miss." "Even with his -3?" "Wait, wait, wait. Yeah." "Yeah, fuck it." "I think he's got like a 24 to like 26 armor class." "Yeah. Shit, nothing I can do. Okay." "Thoril, your turn." "Alright. If I move towards him from here and then hit him, would that be considered like a charge attack or just moving and hitting?" "That's kind of moving and hitting." "Alright. No, no, I'll just move and hit them. Alright, just - so we got a +2 to attack rolls right now?" "Yep." "You do?" "Yep." "Okay, okay.

So I guess melee basic +2. Crit." "Shit. Very nice." "So that would be 2d8+12, so 28 damage there." "Can I use Ultra Fate?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Isn't that something you got to do on your turn? No, wait, wait, yeah, no." "Yeah, it's an enemy with intense squares and he is hit by my ally's attack." "Yep, then you can." "Then he gets 1d12 extra damage." "Shit." "Okay, so a d12, 8, and I was also going to use Power Strike, which also grants an additional 2d8." "God damn. Do it." "Ah, 4." "So that 28 plus another 12, that's 40. And then my offhand..." "That's a hit." "That'll hit." "Enough of that." "And 25 damage." "So 65 damage total." "Yes." "That's fucking respectable." "Are you done?" "Yeah, thank you." "I air fist bump Thoril." "Yeah, I think we're good." "I don't have any action points left." "Oh wait, did you add the plus 2 for me?" "Yeah, yeah, I added the plus 2." "On damage?" "Not on damage." "Yeah, so also two more." "Okay, so 67 damage." "Yeah, 67 damage." "Shit." "And also that time I said his shirt looked nice, that's another 100 damage." "Alright, Lord Iain Cerberus.

He is going to use Blinding Speed, which lets him use Savage Assault twice. So let's do some Savage Assault here, he's going to attack Fae first. That's a crit." "Oh my god, he's dead." "That's 47 damage." "Nice." "So if you want to shave that off, go right ahead. And then he is going to do the same thing against Thoril. That's a 30, that hits. 22 damage." "You say he goes twice." "That was the twice." "No, no, he's twice inside the initiative." "Oh yeah, he's twice in the initiative because he's that goddamn fast." "Oh, Thoril. You hit him, I forgot, from Warsong Strike, you get 5 temporary hit points.

Because you hit him." "Okay, I'll go that way." "Damn, kind of debating." "Action point?" "I'm thinking he may use an action point. You know what, Iain is going to use an action point and do a little move called Run Through against Fae." "Shit." "Yes, that's a crit." "Oh, he shits his dick." "So describe what he does, Jason." "He is going to try and essentially put Kord's gale through Fae's gut. And Fae is going to artfully dodge that shit. And had that hit, that would have been 5d10+10." "Oh shit, dude." "That probably would have killed Fae out, right?

Unless that were the worst roll in history, so congratulations to that." "Ironhide, your turn." "If he misses, did he just like, where the red fern grows himself and just trip over his own sword?" [Laughter] "I'm going to move 1, 2, hmm, 6. No, I'm not going to move there because I know Brie wants to do something. She's going to do something here. I'm going to use Lightning Lord on Eian. I think it's... "That's going to miss." "Yeah! Okay, I guess that's it for my attack." "Okay, Yenward, your turn." "Okie dokie, I'm just going to Chuck Stormrender at him." "Storm surrender." "Oh, this is a mix between Stormrender and Thunder's Fire.

Here we go." "Chuck him, but also just Chuck the building at him." "Aw, lame. Sorry guys, my thing is covered up by the loading thing." "It's all good." "And I get to add a +2." "And he has a -3 to his AC, which lasts until when?" "The end of my next turn." "Okay, cool. That's what I thought." "3... 38 will hit." "And 2d10 +8." " +10." "Oh, ooh." "24 damage to Eian. Alright." "Thunderclap is all around." "Oh my god. So, I don't know if you realize this, but all three weapons of Kord are active in this fight." "Pretty cool." "This is a loud fucking room right now.

I don't know." "You're done?" "Yes, sir. I want to stay here in front of the door in case he tries to cut-tap." "Alright." "Single room just sounds like a hurricane's going through it." "Yeah." "Um... ugh, okay." "You get 5 temporary hit points here." "Yay! Cool, thank you." "No problem." "He's going to do two Savage Assaults again." "One against Fi." "Oh, yeah." "23 hits." "Imiji interrupts." "Does that?" "Yeah." "Can an enemy attack you? In fact, you gain +4 to all defenses against the triggered enemy's attack." "At the end of the triggered enemy's turn, you can also shift up to three squares as a free action." "Okay, then that's going to miss you." "You did it." "Um... so the first one's going to miss you.

He does get the swing a second time." "Now, you get to shift at the end of his turn?" "Yeah, the end of his turn." "Alright, well let's see if the second one... that'll miss. God damn, he missed twice." "So you get to shift now." "Can I stay where I am?" "If you like, yeah." "Yeah, that's fine. Stay where I am." "An's going to use disengage. He gets to shift up to his movement speed." "Ahh." "Brianna's turn." "See ya, buddy." "Good thing you removed yourself from everyone she didn't want to hurt, you dumbass." "Tally is dead, and Bri's going to activate an aura called Boundless Rage." "She is essentially going to completely freak the fuck out." "And in a burst 2 out from her, I want everyone to make an endurance check, please." "Kill fee." "Okay, in just a second.

I gotta find it." "My endurance." "24. Crip. I've been waiting for this. My endurance is high as fuck." "17 mother fuck." "29." "Okay, everyone who didn't get a 22 or higher is going to fall prone." "Aw, man." "Because the ground around Brianna is cracking and splitting with the sheer output of force." "This is Dragon Ball Z shit. She's about to lose her fucking mind." "Oh, yeah." "She doesn't have to charge for the next 3 rounds, no matter what she throws at him." "She can throw dailies all day if she wants." "The downside is, at the end of the 3 rounds, she is helpless." "She is completely spent." "So let's see here.

She had already used... I'm trying to... She had already used Overload." "She has not used Decimate yet." "But that would be a bad thing right now, so she's not going to do that." "Can she run up and use it?" "She actually could." "So, you know what?" "She is just raging. Just blind fury and rage. So she is going to sprint directly at Ian." "Get right up next to him, raise her fist in the air, and plunge it into the ground." "And let's try Decimate. That is going to hit." "Burst 5. Anyone? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. So there is no one around them, just those two." "Burst 5. 1, 2, 3." "52 damage to Ian." "Don't hit him.

I still love him." "Brianna is going to take half damage." "And that will bring her down to 23 hit points, I believe?" "How is he not bloody yet?" "He can take a lot." "It's a fact, if you have one arm missing, or one hand missing, you just don't feel it." "You don't feel any damage ever?" "Okay, so I think that is going to bloody Brianna. I'm not sure. Yep, that will bloody Brianna." "More characters are about to die in this fight than they did in the expected siege on the defending of Winterhaven." "I'm buying you a Greek fisherman hat." "Valus." "George R.

R. Martin." "Oh, okay. Alright. Yeah, sorry, I should have been..." "These are based on your decisions, guys. That's not sick." "Valus is going to burst into flames. Teleport. Get right next to Ian. He is going to take 5 damage as a result." "Fucking horrific." "Fucking demons." "Demons, man. What are you going to do?" "Imagine it's like Cartman, just 'flame on!'" "Valus... Jesus... Let's try to twist the knife! Fuck it!" "Valus is going to whip out a small dagger." "Be cruel, Irony." "And he is going to try and stab at Ian's kidneys repeatedly, so let's try this." "That's one.

That's a hit. Two. That's a miss. Damn it. Okay, so..." "Even with that negative 3 to AC?" "It's against 4." "It's an attack of 4 to 2." "But he does get a +2 because of combat advantage, so it's actually 23." "No, actually they're not flanking him." "Tell me! Me! My combat advantage!" "Oh, wait, no, you're right. 22. Nope. Still won." "Fucking ghetto. 9 damage? Come on, dude." "But the 21 hit him. No, sorry, sorry. It got pushed up and I didn't see." "Yep. Too bad." "Uhhhh... End of the round." "Woooo! We did it!" "You can hear footsteps in the hallway." "Ian is going to shout out to them." "Fuck me!" "That's what he shouts.

That's so weird. Fuck me!" "Fuck me!" "He's going to shout, 'Guards!' And there will be... let's see here..." "I think you would have thought of that earlier." "Well, this all happened in a matter of seconds." "Like, imagine this fistfight broke out and people just started slash slash." "This is all like, I don't know, 30 seconds, 40 seconds somewhere in there." "Okay, Una, I know you want to kill this guy, but you have to diplomacy the guards." "Yep, I'm way ahead of you. I got this." "Cool. Diplomacy the guards, tell them the truth. You have a high diplomacy." "Maybe flirt with him.

I don't know." "Well, there's a time, but whatever." [Laughter] "It's the least sexy thing ever." "See that dead bitch in the corner? Yeah, Ian did that." "Yeah." "That's Michael West's." "I can actually use a minor action to bring my diplomacy to +16." "And I'll get it faster if you want me to do that." "Sure. If you don't get it, then I'll follow up." "Okay." "Okay, you realize that's a standard action." "Oh, I can't really do much damage right now anyway, so." "Okay, just... God, your voice sounds terrible. Are you okay?" "I'm sorry." "No, I want to help you.

I want to fix this." "I'm still in the doorway, so..." "Yeah, but you can charge. You're getting ready, man." [Laughter] "No, he makes a solid point. There's a big bull man standing in the doorway." "Is that still power?" "How did they get in?" "Wait, how are you in the doorway? I don't understand." "I never moved since I pushed Ian." "Oh, okay. Well then, alright." "That's why I threw my axes at a moon, because I didn't want them to run." "You should let them in though." "And we're, like, polite." "If we don't let them in, then they're going to get even more suspicious." "Well then let's do this." "Are you letting them in first?" "Should I let them in?" "Okay, imagine this is thunderclaps and lightning and... like this is horrendous." "Yeah, so are you letting them in, I guess is the..." "Should I?" "Yeah, alright, yeah, so let's put them on this side of the room, that makes more sense." "That's fine by me." "I'll stop you there." "Alright, Fee, your turn." "Okie dokie.

A charge is my speed, isn't it?" "Yes, plus one I believe." "Okie dokie. So, unbalancing trick, you shift up to two squares." "Next time you hit an enemy with a melee basic attack, this turn you can knock it prone." "So one, two." "And then..." "I was wondering if it would be better for them to delay their turn until after Duncan." "I still want to hit the bitch." "You would, it's just after we hit the guards on our side." "It's not what I did." "Playing his character." "Okay, I got this." "Okay, so, backstab again, and..." "Action point, because I want to use my second wind." "Okay." "And then charge, but they're both standard action." "Alright." "Second wind is just a surge." "Yep." "And all of your defenses go up by two until the end of your next turn." "Awesome." "So yeah, and then just a charge to there to hit him with a melee basic." "Okay." "So, plus two from Jadzia, plus one for charge, plus three from backstab." "Hit, that'll hit." "Okay, so, sneak and hunter's quarry, and backstab again." "So that's an additional 20." "32, and he is prone." "Very nice, and I will adjust as such, prone." "Okay, anything else?" "Can I scream at him?" "Sure, why not?" "Can I scream at him?" "You don't get to kill her and then run away like a cowardly bitch." "You're a beast!" "Jadzia, your turn." "Alright, I'm gonna move." "Concealed, gonna use infernal moon curse." "Hit." "That'll hit." "So, that's going to do the damage, and it's also gonna hold him immobilized five feet above the ground until the end of my next turn." "Oh shit." "This is gonna happen." "13 damage, plus one damage, so 14 damage, and Jadzia's gonna scream to him, 'Stop trying to fucking run away!' "And now he's up high." "Which I imagine will make him look a little bit silly in front of all of his friends, which is why I did it." "This is true, as a result of being bloodied." "Fuck." "Uh oh." "He's going to use two things, one of which is call to arms and counter power." "Winlord Pager, uh, Win... Lord Pager..." "He's back from the dead!" "Oh my god!" "Doesn't make any sense at all." "Tell them who killed you." "Yeah, straighten this out!" "Winlord Cerberus, his first bloodied... god, all allies!" "Uh, the target makes a base, okay, he calls all allies to him, and the target makes a basic melee..." "Oh, okay, they can make a basic melee attack, or shift up to three squares as a free action." "So all of his allies get to make a basic melee attack and shift three squares." "Oh god, Yenward!" "So they call a doctor." "No, but he calls them to him, right, so they go to him." "They're, they're, they're going to, they're, they're, they're seeing this, and they're, they're going to see all of you as..." "Uh, you mean it's going to call out..." "Am I surrounded because the map didn't look..." "Yeah, you're kind of surrounded, yeah." "You're, you're good." "Um, he's going to call out to them, 'They murdered Talia, please help me!'" "Lufthansa?" "Um, he doesn't, not in this situation, no." "It just makes sense." "Yeah, this is, this is, yeah, this is just..." "Right, this is more, yeah, um..." "Oh, good lord, so each one of these guys gets to shift three squares, so let's do this." "If you're at your 90 hit points, I wouldn't be as worried, but you're not." "But they are going to surround the fuck out of them." "Yeah." "Thank god I'm good." "But we can diplomacy." "So, don't do diplomacy, and Una can, and then Thoril can, and then Jarek, Jarek, Velma." "And also, Yinward can just charge out of there, because they're not going to be able to get him from the front, so..." "Uh, they will get, uh, opportunity attacks though." "Some of you guys are Knights of Winterhaven, I would use that to your advantage to plomachizing." "This is incriminating as fuck, I'm just going to throw that out there." "Some of our guys are surrounding the body right now." "They're, they wandered in and watched you guys assault Lord, you know, Lord Cerberus, like they're watching you do that." "And then, you're just like, it's not what it looks like, essentially it's your..." "That's why I figured it wasn't a good idea, but..." "Well okay, so is it possible?" "It's not impossible, but is highly improbable." "We need to get like Duncan on this." "I mean, all we have to do is like, knock everyone out, and then like, it's obvious she was killed by that sword, like..." "You know, like murder weapons, we can do a fucking ballistics thing, it's not going to be that hard." "Yeah, CSI." "Farian CSI on this shit?

Yeah, let's..." "Right now, I think Duncan and Una should be making these fucking checks." "Mhm." "But wait, but we're in agreement that we should do it?" "Yes, most definitely." "Well this is what's going to happen, hold on, hold on, hold on." "Iain right now is just hanging above the room completely harmless right now, let's focus on the guards." "Well can't he still attack even though he's..." "He's immobilized, not defenseless." "You look silly, look at your leader." "I want to hang him upside down so his pants fall down and you can see like..." "What an asshole, look at him." "He's wearing shorts with pants." "He's wearing a box of his." "Directly reference that chapter." "Uh, Duncan, your turn." "Okay, well I guess I'm doing this, um, words of friendship, it's gonna counter, gives me a +5 bonus to diplomacy." "Oh shit." "Um, then I go to diplomacy." "I'm just gonna, I'm gonna roll it because I can't add +5, but then we'll add +5 to whatever it is." "Okay." "It's a 35." "Oh my god." "Yes!" "I'm almost proud." "Fuck yeah!" "I'm almost a crit." "Love you almost a little bit more, Dan." "I'm almost a crit. Can I say it? Okay." "And I guess you, I guess I should say something now?" "Yes you should." "Yes?" "Michael Wesson!" "It's traditional." "Michael Wesson." "You've been noticed." "I'm on the brain." "By the way, is it, is it canon, not the Michael Wessons?

Because you did name a show after it, so is that..." "I mean..." "Come on, like, everything's canon." "What did you name, what show was it? What was it called?" "God, I forget." "It was like, I think it was like..." "It was the Royal Order of Michael Wesson." "Yeah, it was the Royal Order of Michael Wesson." "Some shit like that, yeah." "I'll say Winterhaven Guards, and I guess they all turn to me? I get their attention." "Yeah." "Okay." "I am one of the Knights of Winterhaven Duncan Joybottom, I'm sure you know me. I have other Knights of Winterhaven here.

We have just witnessed this man murder Talia. He has also murdered Lord Padraig and Brianna's father. You can check Talia, she was murdered by his sword. He did it when we confronted him about the murder of Lord Padraig. And now he's attacking us and fighting for his life. We ask that you assist us in this, or that you step down." "Ian is going to also get to roll, and if it's higher than 30..." "35." "35, yeah." "He's gonna get a +1 just because you were beating the shit out of him when they wandered into the room." "His pants are down, so he's looking pretty hot." "Guys, he's got a +36, that's a problem." "That's not..." "Yeah, he needs a 36." "Come on guys, everyone cross your fingers, everyone cross your fingers." "He needs a 31." "No, he needs a 36." "Yeah, he had a +5, so..." "No, he got the +5, no he has the +5." "No, no, no, yeah, he has the +5, so he needs a 36." "True that, dawg." "Oh." "Well, if he had a +... okay, yeah, okay.

Okay, sorry." "Everybody cross your fingers." "Well, wait a second, though, hold on, 20, 30..." "Is it literally impossible for him to roll?" "It is literally impossible for him to top that." "Yes!" "That is literally impossible for him to top that." "He sucks at speaking, he don't know no words." "No, I mean, he could crit at a 34, and that still wouldn't top..." "Can Duncan even say 'Let him speak for himself, let him defend himself'?" "You guys, you've hit a natural 20 always hits no matter what." "Yeah, yeah." "Oh, that is true, I guess there's that, but I mean that's a long shot and a half." "Let me just hack the table real quick, hold on." "Damn it, Bree!" "You didn't want to cheat?" "It's true. Thank you, Bree, I appreciate your honesty." "Fair." "Nope, not even close." "Not even close." "Hey, three is respectable, okay?" "That's three is respectable, we're lying!" "No, no, no, we're faggots, you don't understand!" "You fucking bitch!" "That's what he shouts." "Guys, I killed Talia, I mean, oh no, I didn't kill Talia." "I mean, not that." "It's opposite day." "It's like fucking Einhorn at the end of Ace Ventura, he's lying, shut up!" "Um, the Royal Order of the Knights of Michael West are all going to sheath their swords and step back." "All six of them." "Honorable man." "You New York cunt." "That's what I thought, y'all better get out this room." "It's a conga line up, Michael." "But to say you were about to take a beating and a half." "I ain't scared of none of y'all." "I air fist bump you inward." "I give it back." "Let's take them out of the initiative, they don't need to be anymore." "Y'all saw me take care of like, sick of them, you're so scared." "Do they, uh, um..." "Okay, so now Una has to diplomacy." "Who does Una have to diplomacy?" "Yeah, there's no more diplomacy left." "There's no more diplomacy, no." "Well, I tried to diplomacy them into fighting with us." "No, that's not how it works." "I gave them the choice, they said no." "They're standing down, that doesn't mean they believe us, we need a confession from Ian, which is the reason we weren't going to kill them in the first place." "I got it, I got it." "I think we beat the confession out of them, right now I think maybe Una should heal somebody." "Because Ian gets two more attacks this round." "I don't have any lay on hands." "Yeah." "Oh." "But I can try and intuitate him and tell him to like, if he drops the sword, then we will, like, we'll let him have a trial." "Yeah." "If we try that." "That's going to be a high one, but go ahead." "Okay, will that be Intimidate or Diplomacy?" "Let me describe Ian's psyche, because I know you've listened since the beginning, but you haven't gotten to roleplay side by side with him. The more you take away from this man, the crazier he gets.

He's feeling his power on this city slip with each second that this battle goes on. His own guards won't defend him, but his own wife was going to turn on him." "Here's a question, Jason, if she were to do that, and he were to say no, would that help our case with the guards?" "Yeah, I mean, like, it's..." "I don't think we're getting the guards to fight with us." "No, no, no, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying if he ends up dead, we have to have somebody defend us." "Right, no, you already have, I mean, you, you, I mean, it's going to be a tough pitch, but I mean, like, you, I mean, the guards are pretty much on your side." "We've all but coaxed the actual, like, defense." "Right, it would just be nice to have a witness that saw us give him a chance to get a trial, and not take it." "Right, right, right, right." "We want that 'I killed Mufasa' moment." "Right, so, like, if, if, if, if she were to do this, if it passes, great, if it doesn't, at least the guards have witnessed that we gave him the opportunity to give himself up and get a fair trial, and he didn't take it. So, I think either way, it's a win on this.

Especially if she can't heal, I mean..." "It's not like I'm going to hit." "Just do something, I don't care." "Okay, okay, okay. Um, so, I have a move, and then I have a standard, right?" "Yes, uh, you do, yes." "Okay, so I'm going to run up next to, next to Bree, um, to keep her safe, because I still have my martyr's blessing." "Okay." "Um, and then I'm going to turn around at, or, I guess, face Ian. Um, and, um, let's see, see, drop the weapon! Drop it, and we will give you a trial. Stop fighting back! 29." "That's good." "That is a 29." "No!" "If he drops that weapon, I'm taking that shit." "Ugh." "Hold on a minute." "Probably hands on the murder weapon right now." "Oh, here's a good point." "Look at your prints." "I don't have prints on one hand." "That's true, that's what I was going to say, it got me out." "Um, so Ian is very much hovering five feet above the ground.

Everything is being stripped away from this man, piece by piece, everything he's tried to build, and you're telling him to surrender. To be taken into custody in his own city. Um, and you can see him thinking over, and eventually he says, 'Do you have any idea how hard I've worked?'" "I know how many people you've killed." "I've watched this group try to take everything from me before. They've called my own son's lineage into question. My own guards won't defend me. My wife would turn on me to support them." "Oh, they heard that!" "Why are you confessing?

This is hilarious." "Yeah." "What a cock." "If you think for one second I would let you take me alive, then you're crazier than she is." "And he's looking straight at Brianna. So, he is not going to surrender. But, that was loud enough that those guards would hear him." "What did you just say?" "Is that the end of Buna's turn?" "Can I pop a Divine Sanction on him?" "Sure." "Cool." "Thoril, your turn." "Me." "5, 6. Um, I guess since he's not going alive, I guess I'll just do a nice little melee basic attack. Oh, plus 2 for Comin' to Venge." "Sucked in my teeth pretty hard over here." "Do we still have that Comin' advantage from Duncan?" "It wasn't from me, it was from Una, I believe.

Or Judzia." "Yeah, it ended at the end of my turn." "Well, I still get the plus 2 for Malice, I believe." "Yes, you do." "Does it mobilize me, though?" "Krit!" "Yes!" "Let me ask you a question." "That's two crits in a row for Thoril." "Hold on one second, hold on one second, hold on one second. Melee basic attack, crit, okay. Alright, do me a favor. Let's see here, let's see here. Una." "Yes?" "Are you still protecting, Bree?" "Mm-hmm." "Okay. Go ahead. Just one in a row." "Oh, okay. Well, that's 28 damage right there." "Okay, 28 damage." "Then offhand him." "That's gonna miss.

Heroic effort. That's, wait, still gonna, wait! That'll just hit, that'll just hit." "He also has combat advantage because he's across from Valus." "Yeah, you're right, so yeah, totally. Will hit." "Oh, don't kill him." "And that's an additional 24." "Okay. Very nice. Anything else?" "I think I'll do it." "Okay." "I just like the picture of him floating in air and Thoril just beating him with both hands." "Like a pinata." "Like a pinata!" "A pinata!" "Yeah!" "Um, Ian is going to use a minor, Cord's Will, and with the strength of this sword, he is going to shake off any negative effects.

So he is no longer floating, he is no longer immobilized. None of that." "Pull in damage." "I feed." "He's not the nimbleist, but you know, he's not common." "I think you should have to do an acrobatics check." "No." "He breaks his neck just doing that." "That's how he dies." "That would be the most anticlimactic thing to ever happen." "He's like the opposite of a cat, lying straight on his neck." "Let's see here, this could be, hold on a second." "He's gonna get some, buddy." "I don't like it." "Okay, let's go ahead and use Savage Assault." "Let's attack Fae." "Hits!" "Shit." "Fae, get out of there." "34 damage." "Fae is down." "Then he's gonna whip around and use Savage Assault on Thoril." "Krit." "Oh fuck." "47 damage." "Oof, still standing." "Okay, okay." "Alright, just calm down." "We can talk about this. Ironhide, your turn." "He takes, Ian takes 9 damage." "For not attacking you?" "Twice for not attacking me, so 18 damage total." "Just in case, because I know he gets another one, I have an encounter." "It's an immediate reaction, if he ends his turn adjacent to me, I can shift a number of squares to my Wisdom modifier." "Okay." "I'm just gonna get, let's see, I'm trying to find my Wisdom modifier, 3." "I'm just gonna shift one, maybe like one or two out, just so he can't get me a second time." "Oh, you get to shift too?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Okay, good." "I'm using Lightning Lower on Ian." "Okay." "Okay, so you're gonna jerk him towards you?" "Jerk him off!" "In front of everyone." "He'll know what he did." "11 damage." "Okay, 11 damage." "Kiss him.

No, I'm gonna use a Geass of Assault." "Awesome." "So he needs to strike me." "And, um, do I have... I got one action point." "No matter who he strikes, he takes damage from either me or Justin." "I'm gonna use Begone, one creature intellect versus AC." "Analect modifier." "I teleport him also up to 5 squares after this." "I hope I get to smack him on his ass." "Bam! That's a hit." "That's a hit. Will you toss him towards Yenward?" "Well, I gotta do damage real quick, so I might just be throwing a ragdoll." "That'd be amazing to just like..." "Who's 22?" "22 will hit.

Well, that'll do 22 damage, but it's not gonna kill him though." "Shit." "Fucking whip him at Yenward, have Yenward catch him with Stormrander." "Like a baseball." "I could throw him right on Talia's body, which would be funny, but..." "No, you don't want to destroy the crime scene." "Alright, he steps all over it. I'm gonna check on 1, 2, 3, 4, 5." "In the middle of the room." "He threw him over Briana." "It's actually teleporting, so..." "Oh, okay." "Just boop, boop." "What the fuck?" "Oh, that's really..." "Uh, Yenward, your turn." "Alright, I'll walk out to him." "Last chance, man." "Yeah, he's got nothing else to live for after this." "I'm giving him a chance." "He's not taking it." "Alright, I'm gonna use Brute Strike." "Alright." "Bruting Strike." "He's gonna Brood." "Dude." "That's disgusting. Why would you pull that at me?" "To be fair, if she can do it, like, it would be poetic to have Briana." "I'm gonna pop my action points." "Nevermind." "I'm gonna use Bone Crusher." "Is that a daily?

Does it miss half damage?" "Uh, no. It's not half damage." "17..." "Put him in a body bag." "I'm trying." "I'm trying." "Oh, too quick!" "Jesus Christ!" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "Hold on." "This never happens." "I have a lucky charm." "Dude, that lucky charm could add a +6 at best." "Uh..." "Just letting you know." "Just put it away in Apollo." "It's a crit miss anyway." "Or it's a crit miss anyway, it missed." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "A crit always hits, a crit miss does not always hit." "Or a crit miss always misses." "Christmas always, always misses." "Christmas always, always misses." "It's not what it's meant to be, just let it go." "So sorry." "Now he's gonna swing at you." "Christmas for the misses." "So sorry." "Um..." "What was his ace, dude? Just fine." "25, I can't, I'm not gonna tell you that." "25." "Savage assault to Yenward." "That's gonna miss." "Savage assault to Yenward." "That's gonna miss." "I wanna 6-bit right in his stupid face." "He takes damage twice." "He takes 18 damage." "Yup, gotcha." "Oh my god, he takes 4 times the damage, oh my god, that's gorgeous." "Oh, that dumbass." "Jared, how much damage do you do if someone swings at somebody who's not you?" "Oh, oh shit, that's uh, basic, is that twice I get to do that?" "No, you only get to do it once, but go ahead." "No, you get to do it twice, because he attacked Yenward twice." "True." "So he gets twice." "Yeah, but he only teleports, go ahead, yeah go ahead." "What's every time that person swings?" "Go ahead." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, attack." "Jesus fucking Christ." "Oh, it's weird, it didn't miss." "Miss." "Do I do it again or no?" "Yes, yes." "I think this is meant to be." "Yes." "Two 4-teens in a row, what do I get for that?

Shit, I'll take it." "That's better than two crit misses in a row, right?" "Is the table broken?" "Nah, technically it was a 16." "It did 1, now it's doing 2s?" "Technically it was a 16, but I won't bother you with that right now." "Okay, he takes 18 damage anyway from my Divine Sanction." "Yup, taken care of." "Oh, jeez." "I'm gonna kill a guy in Divine Sanctions, bitch." "I have Bree Gitzen." "Yeah, that'd be nice for her." "Bree is going to move up to Ian." "I imagine." "And again, that aura is still active, she is still fucking, like she just murderous rage." "What she's gonna do is, I'm gonna roll this check." "Check up your instant kill, just crush his dick right in front of everyone." "I'm gonna try to grab Ian, so this could go one of two ways, I'm interested in seeing." "Why don't you get a 3?" "25 versus Ian's reflex, that'll grab Ian." "She's gonna take both of her fucking hands, and kind of wrap them around his head on either side." "Aw, don't do that, man." "Pop 'em like a zit." "That's my move, pop 'em like a zit." "Valus's turn." "If that actually does crush his head, we'll just call him without informality." "I didn't watch, thank you, I didn't watch that yet." "You don't know what happens, dude." "Why be a con? Why be a con?" "That's all I wanna know." "Catch up on good things, how about that?" "I'm sorry, I was working 80 hours a fucking week." "Exactly, you pay more attention to work than you do anything else." "Accept the show, accept the show, accept the show!" "Okay, now let's move on." "This was a ghost the whole time." "Jesus, uh, okay, uh..." "Can't use a do-me..." "For Valus, so... fuck it?" "Uh, great sword, that will hit damage." "26 damage, Ian is not looking great." "He had better days." "Fee is down, make a death saving roll, roll please." "Uh-huh, flat d20?" "Yep." "Through the death." "17." "You are stabilized! Jaxia, your turn!" "Okay, I'm gonna move over here." "And, uh, might as well show this daily..." "And, uh, fuck it." "I kind of want Brianna to get this anyway." "So I will use Eldritch Blast." "My easy, simple ones, let's see, but wait, what is it against?" "Reflex, okay, yeah, that one." "Ooh, I get a..." "No, it's a correct miss." "Damn, they really want Brianna to get this one." "Probably miss, if it keeps going on he'll just stab her." "Mmm, yeah, like a little bitch." "Okay, I'm good." "Okay, I'm here, um, I'm using..." "Okay, hi?" "For a miner, I'm using Majestic Word." "Uh, so, Fee gets to spend a healing surge plus my Charisma modifier." "Or plus 1d6 plus my Charisma modifier, so..." "Hey, you're back, see?" "Do I roll the 1d6 plus my Charisma modifier, or is he..." "Yep." "I do, okay." "You do, yeah." "So, nope.

Ten." "Fucking A. Healing surge plus ten." "And I will use Inspiring Refrain on Ian." "Okay." "We already gave him one more shot, so, it's a hit." "That is a hit. Go ahead." "24." "24 damage. Anything else?" "Um, do I... do I need to do anything else?" "No, I'm just asking, like, that's..." "I mean, I could pop an action point, but I don't know if he's dead, so..." "Oh, he's not dead. I'll let you know when he's dead. He ain't dead." "Well, I'll pop an action point." "Okay." "Do it! Kill it!" "Let's do this here. Um, okay, I popped an action point. I will be using..." "Oh, uh, oh, ooh!

With my action, by the way, with Inspiring Refrain, um..." "Everyone within five squares of me gains a plus one power bonus to attack rolls until the end of my next turn." "Does that include me?" "No." "Damn it. Okay." "We'll use Ballad of the Zombie King." "Is it two...?" "You have to sing a Rob Zombie song." "Oh, yeah, okay, uh, Dragula, my Rob Zombie." "Yes!" "Nice. And we'll attack. We'll attack him. That's two. Boom." "That's a hit." "Hit. Okay." "And... damage." "Thirteen." "Thirteen damage." "And it's, uh, uh, Psychic Damage. Does that do anything?" "Uh, no.

He's pretty psychotic, yes it is. Uh, Una, your turn." "Damn it." "Okay, um, is there any way I can give Bree my turn?" "No." "Okay, that's unfortunate." "You can delay." "Well, that means I just get to pop back in whenever I want, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, that's kind of useless. Okay, um, let's just run up." "Bree's all the way at the end of the round." "Yeah, I don't wanna, like, I'm not gonna hit him, so like, does it matter too much, but like, whatever." "Um, let's do Valorous Smite." "Okay." "You guys realize if he gets this next turn, he's probably gonna kill Bree." "I was gonna say, maybe someone should like, grab him." "Oh shoot, yeah, maybe I should've just grabbed him." "Bree is grabbing him." "Two people can grab him." "He does a turn around me, right?" "Okay, yeah." "Is that part of a group hug?" "Maybe you guys might wanna actually just kill the fucker and get it over with." "Okay, I know I'm attacking him, I'm attacking him, but I'm right next to Bee in case she gets hit, I can take her damage." "Um, dammit." "That will miss." "Nice." "Yeah, I don't get +2 flanking, do I?" "No.

Anything else?" "Um, but, no, nothing else. Divine Sanction, as usual." "Oh, nevermind. Sorry, nevermind." "Uh, when he attacks, by the way, he gets a -2 penalty to attack rolls." "Okay." "Oh, what was that inspiring refrain thing that we all got?" "It's, uh, power. It's 2 power. It's, uh, +1 to power." "Uh, Thoril, your turn." "Well, shit, I don't think I have, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6." "I have one thing that I can do, and I swear to God if it hits, is one arrow." "No, he has one arrow." "I got more now." "Yeah." "But the joke is, you have never - dude, you have never hit with this ranged attack." "Dude, make this the best attack ever and put all the arrows in one shot." "Like a shotgun shot." "Uh, here goes nothing." "Nope." [Laughter] "Right in the floor, right behind him." "The streak continues." "Hey, wait, did you have to use heroic effort last time, because..." "Yes." "Oh, I thought you did not have it." "No, he did.

He used it, he used it." "He used it." "Okay." "He used it." "Yeah." "I think that would have missed anyway, like, his AC." "Yeah, alright, Ian's turn." "Don't kill us, Ian. It's not worth it." "Hm." "Please swing on me." "You get a hit." "He doesn't hit me, he's gonna take hella damage." "Yeah." "Fuck it, he's gonna swing at Oona, deadly thrust." "Sounds disgusting." "I'll take it, bitch." "29, that's a hit." "And you will." "I don't care." "I'm going to attack..." "51 damage." "I'm fine, motherfuckers." "Uh, wait, he takes a negative 2 penalty to your attack rolls." "Does that do anything?" "Still hits." "Okay." "Ah, dammit, it just hits." "Yep, just hits." "Ah, Jesus, he's gonna pop his second..." "What is, what the hell is, okay, yeah, that, okay, fine." "He's getting out of the way." "He's gonna pop his second action point." "Don't do it." "He has 2?" "He has 2." "He's pretty awesome." "I'm jealous." "Uh, and he's gonna use Savage Assault against Oona." "That'll crit." "47 damage." "I love how, like, this is all going on, and Bree has his face." "And he's just, like, swinging at other people while she's just grabbing his face." "He's trying to, like, he is desperate." "But he's dead." "Well, not dead, but..." "Not dead, but not dead." "No, I'm down, though." "And he's gonna swing at Ironhide, and that will hit." "He takes 9 damage." "Even if you're unconscious?" "Yep." "28 damage, Jesus, okay, well, then..." "Because that count is, like, the first time he swung." "Or was this, like, a thing where it was, like..." "Oh my God, everything needs to be debated, otherwise?" "Yep, I'm just curious about what's going on, Jeez." "I'm being cooperative." "You know we're calling those people up at 6, right?" "I'm trying!" "Alright, fine, I'm just gonna use Green Flame Blade on him." "It's a miss." "Okay, anything else?" "Um, no." "Okay." "I just didn't, I don't want to debate everything, and..." "I get you want to win, I get it." "You're all bucking for the notable kill, I get it." "I just don't want to die, and I don't know why people were like..." "Let's line up over here and look at it." "It's like, no, just kill him, just get it over here." "Yanward, your turn." "Alright, I want to try to run him through with my Bullet Charge." "That is a D20 plus 17 against his Fortitude." "Okay." "I'd love the idea of, like..." "30 seconds!" "Oh, man!" "Hahaha, whoo!" "It's gonna get f'd up to B." "I'd love the idea of his corpse just hanging off of one of Yanward's horns." "Ew." "Okay." "That's a 4d10 plus 8." "Scare him in the butthole." "Hold on." "That's 48 damage." "Hold on." "I haven't rolled yet, sweetie." "Okay." "You gotta crit." "You gotta crit, you don't roll." "Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, hold on." "Ian's gonna use Skillful Dodge." [clicking noises] "He is going to grab Breanna's hand." "And jerk her in front of Yanward's strike and change positions with her." "And Breanna's going to take all of this damage." "You stank, dude." "You're the one that killed her!" "Why'd you kill Breanna?" "There you go, you got your notable kill." "She's just down!" "No, no, no, no, no." "Listen." "What?" "That was a critical." "You don't roll." "You do max damage, so what's the max damage?" "48." "Fucking everything." "49." "She'll survive it, she'll survive it." "She was bloody, dude." "That'll be enough to kill Breanna outright." "No!" "I'm done, I'm done playing. Goodbye, everybody." "Talia and Breanna have both died." "Wait, okay, question." "Uh-huh." "I have an immediate interrupt, can I do it even if I..." "You're out." "You're unconscious." "The one person who could protect Breanna is unconscious." "Everyone check for immediate interrupts, I know I don't have any." "I have one." "What, really?" "Against yourself?" "Yeah, do it, do it, do it!" "I do." "Can he roll to stop, can he roll athletics or acrobatics to like, realize?" "That's part of the attack, he has his head down anyway, it's a bull charge, he wouldn't even know." "What?" "Breanna would be impaled on the end of Yenward's horn." "To be fair, Martyr's Blessing doesn't say anything about me not being out." "You're unconscious, you don't do it." "It says nothing about that!" "Let's see, hold on." "Who's team are you on, Tyler?" "I'm just saying." "Tyler, Tyler, I'm gonna see you soon." "Isn't Una gonna get herself killed though for this?" "I don't give a fuck, I'll do it." "Martyr's Blessing, right?" "It says nothing about me being unconscious, it says nothing about any effect, I just do it." "That doesn't seem right." "Yeah, she's unconscious." "This sword can rise my corpse up and throw me in front of him, I don't give a fuck." "To me, by Jason's logic, by this world's logic it doesn't make sense." "It doesn't make sense, you're unconscious, it would have to be an act that you'd have to see it and be able to stop it." "I don't see a way out of this, Brianna Ebelmare has just been murdered." "I don't know what I have to do." "You gotta go kill Tom." "Ian is going to change at the last second, he is going to jerk Brianna into the path of Yenward and with a look of complete shock." "She is going to be run through with Yenward's Horn." "How can she... when are you being held, how the fuck?" "I mean, no, I'm not gonna." "That Blackie Cole look is going to leave her eyes and her pupils are going to return and it's just, yeah, she's going to struggle for half a second against Yenward's Horn and then just kind of slump." "Holy shit." "Ian's turn." "I didn't mean to." "He's going to use Savage Assault on Ironhide, that'll hit. 31 damage to Ironhide, another Savage Assault to Ironhide, that'll hit. 30 damage to Ironhide, Ironhide is down." "Brianna can't do anything." "Valus's turn is going to shift over one and... fuck." "He's going to use his Greatsword, that'll definitely hit. 20 damage.

Fee, your turn." "Okey dokey. Okay, so move action to stand up and then just range basic attack." "Do I have any additional bonuses from anyone? Okay, that's a miss. That's everything I can do." "Jatzia, your turn." "Alright, I'm going to activate Hellfire Touch. I'm going to use Flames of Phlegithos. Fucking hit. Fucking fuck. Alright, that's not going to work. I'll action point." "Sorry." "I'll action point and use Fucker. Ugh, I don't have any other good attacks. Eldritch Blast, I suppose. Thank god." "That'll hit. That's a crit." "Oh, you crit!" "Oh, Nito Burrito.

Alright. Max damage, plus 6." "Reaches out and grabs Ironhide." "Oop, that's not my one attack. That one. Just that one." "Oh my god, stop it. Fucking hell. This thing sucks. Stop." "Well, it's all the damage, right? Or are you trying to do something else?" "Well, it wanted to attack Valis for some fucking reason." "Oh, if you close it out and do it again, it's fine." "There we go. 24 damage." "That'll be enough to kill, Ian." "Fucking better. Oh, I'm so mad. I love Brie." "Couldn't give a shit about Talia, but yeah, Brie is." "And then, as soon as he's down, I think if it's alright, Jodzio would run over to Una.

And Brie. But mostly Una." "Yeah, I... Boy, this is sullen." "You gotta do that congratulations call in like ten minutes." "I know!" "Congratulations, you're fucking in." "Good for you." "Don't you go over to Brie's body and burst out in tears." "Alright, I'm gonna heal Chakuda, if that's alright." "Sure." "You're outside of combat now, so you're fine. Everyone can..." "Yeah, and we're just kinda shell-shocked." "Brie would still be hanging off of your horn." "Really, Jason?" "It's... he... ugh." "What do I do? Like, I'm just like... it's like somebody vomited on me, I don't know how to get it off." "Not that I'm... that I was a vet." "No, no, no, I...

I... ugh." "Umm... I just kinda wanna look like..." "I'm a heel-check, am I back up?" "Yeah." "Okay, then I'll leap up and take Brie off of his fucking horns." "Fuckin' animal." "Don't say 'fuckin' horns,' I don't mean to." "Umm... yeah, uhh... Brie is... there is a sizable hole through her midsection." "Umm... and there would be, uhh... there'd be blood kind of running out of her mouth." "And she is very much dead." "I think that's probably a good time for us to wrap things up for today." "Cool, I'm done talking to you, Jason. We're done. No friends." "Also, Tom." "Hey." "I'm affected by this too." "It's also weird because we don't really have time to react because you gotta go and do the 'congratulation' call." "No, we're all staying in the call and bringing these people in." "Yeah." "What if I don't wanna feed you anymore?" "Like after the Red Wedding moment where there was no fucking music for the credits, that would definitely be right now." "Yeah." "I don't wanna talk to people, it's like 'Hey, how you doin'?" "Fuck you, one.

That's the only way to say." "Dude, I feel terrible." "Yeah, you're a fucking cocksucker." "You suck cock, Jason." "You do. It's a bummer that I'm gonna see you in like a couple days because I just will spend the entire time not speaking to you." "I had to do what Ian would have done in that situation." "No, no, no, it wouldn't be fun if like, if it was like 'Wow, again, no one dies in this episode.'" "Yeah, yeah, it wouldn't be fun if it was just like..." "It's a neat moment, it just sucks." "There's four people right now that almost died. And two that actually did die." "Three that have, yeah." "Well, I'm gonna go.

You kids have fun." "Yeah, I'm thinking about cooking up some dinner. And cry." "Remember when we were having fun and there was like a sitcom a couple hours ago?" "Yeah, we were all in a closet." "Those were the days, yeah." "Ian's boxers were showing and then he's..." "Yeah." "Throws her in front of the subway." "Oh my god." "Is he just like straight up like turned off her computer after that?" "I know. She's uh, she's upset with me." "I'll see you guys." "Bye Justin." "Love you." "Love you too, sweetie." "I'll feel free to stick around." "Thank you." "I'm not going anywhere." "Nah, I just need a second, man.

That is so shit." "You did it." "I know, but I had to..." "What's the dude's name, Tyler?" "Huh?" "What's the dude's name with the hat?" "Oh, George R.R. Martin? Yes." "I need to get him a, I need to get Jason a fisherman hat and some gray beard dye." "And some butt-nops." "And a vest." "If I pull punches, there's no point to any of this." "Yeah, dude, it was cool." "It was really cool, but it stinks." "I know." "I didn't want, uh, man." "Well this changes things for Yenn-Wert." "That's so shit. What should have been a great victory moment for Yenn-Wert?

He accidentally gores a teammate." "And she's stuck on my horn and I can't get her off." "And not just a teammate, like one of the most, like one that, like not just our group, but like group three also." "Just is heavily invested in." "People that were sweet to Yenn-Wert. You just fucking put a horn through her." "Yeah, if there was, if we had seasons, that would be the finale right there." "Like credits roll, it just says 'created by Jason Massey' and everyone just starts screaming at their TVs." "Dude, I'm gonna get so many emails about this." "Oh, yes." "I just want my horn." "Just hope people keep in mind that it was Jason and not Tom that made that decision." "I, yeah, I hated sitting there trying to like argue it. It's like, no, he killed her, but it's, it's kind of like, it's like I don't want to argue 20 minutes on something we know has already happened." "Like we can't, like, cause I know that's something that, nothing against Izzy." "Like that's something I've seen that she does a lot on the show." "That particular one though." "We'll argue, yeah, I understand." "That particular one." "I absolutely understand." "No, she's legit pissed at me." "And she will be for a while." "It's, it's just kind of a little, yeah." "And we have to see each other in like three days." "Well, that's the point though.

Well, she won't be that pissed. She's kidding about that, but like she's pissed, she is not." "I'm sure." "Dude, like that's, you get attached to characters and like she started as a listener too, so that's..." "Yeah." "Um..." "I will admit, like there's a lot of times that I was like, that I've been playing this game, and to me it was like a game." "Like it wasn't so much a show as much as it was just kind of hanging out with friends, but this really..." "This had an effect." "Like, I'm still covered in your blood and shit, like this..." "Oh dude, that's so fucking awful." "I know exactly how you feel, Yenward, because technically Jodzia kind of killed Fee that one time, and I felt like shit." "I didn't, I didn't really want to say something with a bunch of people here, but..." "But you stole our set of Dragon Balls and brought them back, I can't do that for my friend." "Then I might try." "I had that thought in my mind of Bree still hanging off of Yenward's horn, I just didn't want to bring it up, because..." "I knew it was a little soon and a little sore time to be doing it." "So I picture him like, goring and then lifting his head up all like magnificently and then opening his eyes and then just..." [sobbing] "And there's Bree like, upside down, just..." "The life..." "Alright, story question, just like..." "I don't think so, but can Blood Mages do anything about death?" "Yeah, but it ain't pleasant." "Yeah, but neither was that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when they brought the mom back, but it was still a good story." "That's what I'm saying." "Oh no, it's... I'm not taking it away from you, there's also pacts with Satan to be made." "I'm still your friend, Jason." "I know." "You made cute Yenward a fucking murderer though." "That's Ian did, Ian did." "You're Ian, you're all the NPC." "I know." "I can't take credit for the good ones." "The best I can say is that Jatzia now possesses Ian's soul." "That's pretty cool." "Fuck yeah." "Yeah." Put them in like a toad and keep them in a mason jar.