Combustible Elements

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(glass clinking) (glass clinking) - Pickaxe. - Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. - You're the Marine? - Yeah, you're the ex-con. - Yeah, I did time, but you only gotta cast aspersions at me. - From the director of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" and "The Bourne Identity" comes a new film. - It's your first job? - I know what I'm doing. - It's a little late for a crit change. - Starring Matt Damon. - Everybody in New England is after us. - And Casey Affleck. - Go, go, go, go, go! - What are you doing? - Taking notes. - Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. - The Instigators, rated R.

Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. - This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. - Um, I think they mean us. - Oh, (beep) Um. - With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. - Hey, hey listeners, this is Kelsey White from D&R Group One. I play Diana Astoroff. Thank you very much for listening, but it would really help us out if you could leave us a review on iTunes.

And also check us out on Facebook, give us a like, and our website at dandrpodcast.com where there's a bunch of background info. And also we've newly released awesome t-shirts that you can buy. And also check us out on Twitter at @dandrpodcast. Thank you very much. We hope you enjoy the show. - Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Tyler. - Hey, I'm Tyler. I play Thoril Songsteal, a human scout. - And Dan. - I'm Dan Phelps. I play Duncan, Joey, Batam, Dwarven Bard.

- And Tom. - Hey, I'm Tom. I play Yennard, a minotaur fighter. - And Kelsey. - Hey, I'm Kelsey. I play Diana Astoroff, a T-flee mage. - And last, certainly not least, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the show. Mr. Jake White. - Hey, oh yes. I'm Jake. I play, I believe it's still Draconis. I am a dragonborn fire mage, I believe. I think that's still what it's called. And I'm ready to go. Do this. - No, dude, please. Can't say let's do this anymore. - Oh, that's right. - Copy, great. - Yeah. Home Depot owns that now, apparently. - I'll figure something out. I'll figure something out.

- Oh, also we switched to D&D next while you were gone. You now play a dragon sprite flamer. That's what it's called. - Oh, okay. - You have a live play risk podcast? - I think I can make that work, actually. I don't know how, but I think I can make it work. - Have friends. - I love how he introduced Jake and he kind of came in like, as if there was a studio audience, they would have been going crazy. Like Al Bundy walking into the house, just like, whoa. 'Cause I imagine listeners are rejoicing on the bus or at work or wherever they may be. - Someone's just standing up and shouting right now, just taking a scene.

- There's a person or two I left at the warehouse where I used to work. I'd like to think they're rejoicing right now, sitting on the forklift. Let's talk about what happened in the last episode, guys. 'Cause for one glorious episode, group one used diplomacy to fix a problem. So give yourselves a hand, just a hand. - Leave some balance, you guys, leave some balance. - I'm honestly, listeners were shocked. I was shocked. We did receive some emails. They were concerned about the new direction. (laughing) - The format change. - Right, it's like, wait, you lose half the party and you're solving things with diplomacy?

I reject this. - Don't worry, don't worry, listeners. - I wanna point out that we solved two problems with diplomacy on the last episode. - I know. - I feel like we're gonna lose some hardcore fans in the process, but I think we'll get them back. - With this episode. - We're getting them back. (laughing) - Sorry, I'm here to save the group. I'm back. (laughing) - Me and Jake are here, the white team is here. - Thank God Jake is here to fuck things up again. - There you go. - It was so pleasant. Last episode was so pleasant. - I just want you to think about that for a moment and savor it because you're going to experience that ever again.

- See, you're gonna work against us. This is what it feels like. - I'd like to start the episode by killing the devil witch. - Yeah. (laughing) - Wow. - She's still a tip to work with us. Like. - No, no, I'm working with you. I'm also working for me. Like, no, don't worry. - She's on team white is what she's saying. Oh, by the way, Tom, did you just say that, I just heard one of those things you slip into the background, I would not catch. - I got one and nobody caught it. - I caught it, okay. Should be noted that Jake White, Kelsey White, no relation. - Oh yeah.

- Not that I'm aware of. Not that I'm aware of. - It's probably like some like, like a hundred or so years ago, there might've been some international thingy, but yeah, no, I have no idea. - I have a feeling you like. - Pretty common last name. - Right, but I wanted to clear that up because I have a feeling you two have a fucking similar play style, we're about to find that out. - Well. - No, no, it's different. We'll be kind of, we'll see. - You like to burn shit? - You like to burn shit. - She's a tiefling. - Are you casually racist? (laughing) - Love casual racism.

What are your feelings on children? - Casual might be a bit. (laughing) - Wait, wait, wait. (laughing) - Let's try. We'll see, you'll see. - Last name's White. - Yup. - And I feel like we're sufficiently off track. Let's get going. - Don't do it on Twitter, you'll get fired. (laughing) - I know, the wounds are still-- - I'm not racist. Diana, I'll get her head. (laughing) - Hates those filthy halflings. So previously, you guys solved, again, solved a problem with diplomacy. You kept the minotaurs and dwarves from killing each other. You bid adieu to group three who left with Brianna's body, Kord's gale, and kinda left you holding the bag with Winterhaven's problems.

- Apples of Einhard. - And you lost Jerag Einhard, who, to you guys, had eight days left to live when he was with you. Let's open things up two days after your last sit down. Nathaniel has been sworn in as the new Lord of Winterhaven. There was a small ceremony he specifically requested that someone turn their phone on mute. (laughing) - That's a weird question. - That's what we're paying for Nathaniel to say. (laughing) - It's a big day for me, guys, come on. - Come on, guys, really? - Be curious. - He specifically requested that it be a small ceremony. He didn't want a big regal thing.

And he has been sequestered away with his advisors ever since. - Wow. - Draconis, you have arrived at the city of Winterhaven. Outside, actually, go ahead and make a perception check for me. - Okay, I'm gonna do that. All right, bear with me, bear with me here. - It's okay, that's why it's a prerecorded show. - Good, 'cause I'm trying to find my shit. - I could hear it in your voice, you really didn't remember exactly what class or race you were for just half a second. - Draconis, just-- - Has he played since-- - Perceptual. - Roll the dice on the table like this?

- I can't remember. - Yes, yes. - That was like six months ago. - Yeah, 10. - Six months or two group sessions ago, group one sessions ago, so I-- - Hey, hey, hey, two weekends in a row. - I know, but traditionally when you guys do the two weekends in a row, you don't play again for three months, like that's-- - No, that's not gonna happen. I'm putting those schedules over, Jason, we're gonna schedule one for this week. - So they-- - Okay. - This week, yeah, doing it. - Midnight. - Same. - I know tomorrow, tomorrow in fact. - Yep. - Okay. - Oh, hey now. - Oh, you're trying to group three it?

- Yeah, yeah, wait a second, wait a second. (laughing) - See, they one upped us, so now we're gonna have to-- - Yeah, we have to, we did three days in a row. - I rolled a 10. (laughing) - Draconis barely notices the thousands upon thousands of Warforged husks. He almost rides into a pile, actually, he kind of just, he's kind of like, oh shit, and skirts around it. He's Cramers' way into the armies. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (laughing) - They've been organized into piles, I guess organized is the wrong word, more like recklessly stacked high as they can, just to get them off the field.

They were littering the field, the landscape is kind of ruined around. - It was ruining the grass. - Yeah, it's not great, the groundskeepers were pissed. The other thing that Draconis will notice are the thousands and thousands of fighters in these various armies. But unless you wanna stop and talk to any of them, I guess you're just heading into Winterhaven proper? - Yes, yes I am. - Okay. - I've been trying to get to the group. - Okay. - See my boys. 'Cause I know they're gonna be happy to see me, of course. - Oh yeah. - That's why I'm trying to fight. - They're your boys.

- Yeah. - So you know the layout of Winterhaven. You know that if the group were here, they would probably be in Winterhaven Hall. So my guess is that you'd be riding there. Now go ahead and make another perception check to see how quickly you would spot them. - Okay. (laughing) - Wow. - That's better. - Conus is back, ladies and gentlemen. - Yes. - Okay, let's catch up with the rest of the party really quickly. Is there anything you guys would like to talk about? You have been staying here at Winterhaven now for a few days. You are still welcome, but there are rumors swirling about you assassinating Ian Cerberus.

- Me? Oh wait, oh them, okay. I was like, what? - No, no, not you, not yet. This is the one thing you can't be tied to, actually. - Good. - Is there anything you guys would like to catch up on or talk about? - All right, so who's in the room right now? Like who's in the room? - Well, you're not in the room yet. - Okay. - I'm just gonna take you a few minutes to find them because you rolled a 12. This is essentially you wandering around the halls. - I can see that, I can see that, gotcha. - So this would be Thoril Ynward Duncan. - Okay. Duncan asks, hey, are we, the dwarves in the, in the War Forge are getting, or not War Forge, I'm sorry.

The dwarves in the minotaurs are out there getting pretty reckless and we said we were gonna talk to the thing before we left. Are we gonna get to that today or are we just gonna keep moseying around like we have been? - If they ever left the kid out of the room, I'm sure. - I mean, at least we should ask to see him, you know, right? I mean. - Might be somewhat helpful. - Yeah, I don't know, I just, I feel like our armies are getting restless if we don't get moving here fairly soon. - Yeah, I would like to do something but I don't really wanna do anything without, you know, the leader of Winterhaven being around to make those decisions.

- Draconis. Draconis is going to round a corner and run headlong into group one. - Okay. - Which would be kind of shocking, I would imagine, to the rest of you. Considering it's been, it's been just, we'd be just over a week. It'd be about eight days since you've seen him. Duncan sees him, shrieks, and hides in my, he can hurt, hugging his leg. - Starbucks. - I wanna be in a little bit, like, not a full blown panic, but a little bit of a panic and I wanna be asking, guys, what in the fuck is going on? Was there some kind of attack? Did they attack us? - Ah, it's, who the fuck are you?

- Well. Better yet, where the fuck were you? - Guys, listen, don't worry about that right now. Where, hey, hey, Ty, where's Malchus? Where's Ironhide? We need, like, what's going on? What I missed? - A lot. - You missed everything. You slept with the fucking thing that we've been doing. - One at a time. - Fucking junkie. - Calm down, calm down. - Duncan's just shaking, just like. - I'd like to hip check Duncan off me. (laughing) - Is everything all right? Are Malchus and Ironhide, are they okay, guys? (laughing) - No one's gonna answer. We're a stone wall. - What the fuck?

- I think they're, I think they're. - Who the fuck's, who's the, who's the fucking dwarf? Who's this? (laughing) - Oh, good lord. Is this, Thorold's gonna just put his, put his fucking head in his hands? - Duncan very nervously kind of peeks around Ironhide, or not yet, I can't, damn it, I keep saying it. Peeks around the inward and just goes, I'm Duncan. What's going on? - Draconis Duncan Duncan Draconis. - Not much. - Yeah, and we're. - What are you? - I'm part of this group. Where's everybody else? For real, guys. - He's chunky, he's irresponsible, and he misses important appointments.

(laughing) - I go over to Thorold and I go, is that the Drake that we caught that one time? (laughing) - No, it's just a junkie that sort of just left us. - No, I didn't leave. - I didn't leave. - High and dry. - What are you, what the fuck is going on? Why are you guys acting like this? - You remember that whole like us preparing to defend Winterhaven? - Yes. - Yeah, that already helped out to do drugs, you junkie. - Yeah. - What kind of drugs? - Notice me. - He kinda rudely stores up his nose. - Is it good? - Here's the short of it of what you missed. You missed the whole defending of Winterhaven.

Malkus has skipped town, somehow killed all the Warforged, and Ironhide's dying and he left with a bunch of other people. - But you scored though, so it's fine. (laughing) - You got your fix, so congratulations. - Oh, and I came back from the dead and saved the world. - Oh yeah, and this is Duncan, this is Fucknut's son. - He's a broadly, sorry. - Hey! (laughing) - All right, Draconis is gonna back up against the wall and kinda like really for a minute, like get all fucking serious, like really serious, and just kinda like, what is-- - Careful guys, his kind are unpredictable.

(laughing) - I'm not saying anything, I'm just looking like, dude, I might have fucked this up. I might have fucked something up, I wasn't here. (sighing) - So, I don't even know where to start with you really. - Look, guys, so, is the war, has everything ended? Is everything over? - No, and everything's not over. - So the Warforged are all dead, Ironhide dying. - We don't know about Ironhide. - Where is he? - He skipped out with a bunch of other people. - And Malchus is fucking gone too. - Yeah, he skipped town. - He skipped, Malchus doesn't skip town. - Yeah, that's what we assumed.

- He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't do that. - Yeah, that's what we assumed, but yeah, he's nowhere to be found. - Adios. - We didn't need him, we're pretty awesome without him. - Yeah, we're pretty great. - What do you mean? - What the hell's happened to you guys, what do you mean? You're pretty great without Malchus. - Us three, we're a team now. - You're a team. - We're an unsolvable trio. - I'm saying you, if you haven't noticed, you've missed quite a bit. - I've gone for a week and Ironhide's dying, Malchus is gone. - It only felt like a blur. - Go ahead.

- But the All Stars are still here, so. - I mean, we were gone from Winterhaven for two weeks and this shit hit the fan big time. - I mean, I can't. - You can't unsnort all those drugs. - I don't know what to say, there's no apology that I can say, I'm, what can I do? I mean, I don't know what I can do right now. I was taking care of some personal business, okay. - Can you admit it, you're awful. - No, I had nothing to do with Bloodroot, okay. - Oh, now he's on the harder stuff, you guys look at him. You are falling apart. - All right, is Ian around? Like, did he give you guys any orders, what's going on?

- Oh, crazy. - He caught the fade, he's dead. (laughing) - What? Ian's fucking- - Talia's dead too. I'm gonna say something so I can tell you the next word. - Is there anybody else? Is there anything else I need to know about? - Oh, Embree's dead. Yeah, she's dead. - Nathaniel's king. - All right, he runs shit now, he's a big dog. - Okay, no, guys, no. No more fun and games. - We're so high right now. (laughing) - I hate every one of you, for real. I come back, come on, guys. - Just out of game real quick. It is sort of ridiculous when you say it out loud. (laughing) - You know what, we should just run a bluff check and tell him nothing's going on, don't worry about it.

- It's a little late, but dude, this is going so well. Like, I'm crying on this end. - Draconis' worst night, and you're Nathaniel's in charge. - That is such drug addict behavior, to show up completely late to everything. It's like, oh dude, all this shit changed. (laughing) And it is ridiculous when you rattle everything off, it's like, oh, and this, oh, and this, oh, and this. Like, those were big eventful episodes, so yeah. (laughing) - All right. - So yeah, needless to say, you've missed a lot. - So, is there a new plan? With everybody gone, what the hell's going on now?

What do we do? - That's what we're trying to figure out. - I think we're gonna go talk to Nathaniel. - No, no, no, no, no, you're not gonna listen to a fucking kid, and he's not gonna tell us what to do. - Hey, he's king. - He's king, it's King Nathaniel, it's King Kid. And so, we're gonna go talk to him and make sure we don't have to stand trial, and then we're gonna go to Winterhaven. I mean, not Winterhaven, Overwatch. - Why would you have to stand trial? What do you mean? - Go, 'cause we killed Ian. - Technically, we didn't. - Well, good point. It was the jerks that we were with that killed Ian.

- It was this mean dude with tattoos. - What jerks? Are they, did you guys kill them? - No, they're the ones who-- - No, they took Ironhide. - They took the robot. - They're the ones. - So-- - Technically, the robot went with them, 'cause he thought that he'd fare better with them. I don't understand why. - They were talking about taking his soul. I don't really understand. - Some devil shit. - Oh, and Malchus's brother showed up. Forgot about that. - No, look, you guys are making me fucking wish I was high right now, okay? - There were two Malchus's. - I feel like that all of a sudden.

(laughing) - Okay, I, Jesus Christ, I'd have no idea what to say. I have no idea. I have, I don't know what I just walked back into. - Who's Jesus Christ? Is that like another-- (laughing) - He's my cousin, that's why. - Is that the guy who sold you the stuff? (laughing) - Duncan knows the N word. Man, he is really high right now. (laughing) - So tweeted. - Draconis just scratching his face. - Picking at non-existent scabs. - No, I'm all right, I'm all right. I'm straight, don't worry. - I'm good to drive the wagon, guys. - Look, I'm glad you guys think this shit is really funny.

- Your addiction is no laughing matter, Chirp. - N word? - Chonus. - Okay, just fucking, I don't even know what to do right now. - It's been a whole history and a thought, look at. - I need, hey, I need a minute, okay? - You take a minute, we're gonna go talk to Nathaniel. - Do your shit, do it. I, oh my God. - Is that his new catchphrase, do it? (laughing) - It's nice, you can't do that. - I'm gonna do just do it, actually. I'm just gonna, yeah, might as well take it off. - You thought it'd be what the fuck? - Do it, do it. - Jesus Christ. - We're gonna get sued?

Let's get sued by one of the big dogs. (laughing) - Hey, do it, do it. - Come on, Nick. - Built for it, though. (laughing) - Okay, so we're gonna leave him to tweak out in the corner and go talk to Nathaniel, is that what I'm understanding? - He's, go let him do a bump, who cares? - Yeah, I'm going out to the court, do your thing. - Oh my God. (laughing) - Jake, I missed you so much. - That was fun. - Way different than I anticipated. I thought you guys were gonna try to kill me or some shit. Day ain't over yet. - True. - You're worried about them trying to bite me, I'm gonna kill you.

- Mr. Fireball, you're worried about us killing you? - Hey, I didn't know if you guys would be that pissed I was gone, I had no idea how I was gonna take it, how you guys should take it. - We're not mad, we're just disappointed. - This is the level headed group one, you have to remember that. - I picture him just walking up with a half a fireball conjured as if, hey guys, guys, he constantly has one in his hand. - He's using it to light, like he's just. - Yeah, his lips are stitched all the time, he's telling him he just breathes fire. - I'm telling you, that's how I imagined Draconis walked in, was like fucking Kramer in a sign fell up, so like, hey, what's going on?

- Every time he needs to light his pipe, he just uses the bottom of his finger to do it. - God. - It's like fire drooling out of his mouth. - Oh my God. - Okay. - I mean, it's sad. - The lava sweats, junkie. - Lava sweats. - Nathaniel, oh God. - So the chamber where Nathaniel's been, he's pretty much just been spending his days there and then just later on like retiring and going to bed, like he hasn't seen anyone, they have been briefing him on everything he needs to know for two straight days now. - Are you just going to approach him or try and find someone to bring him to you?

- I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea that we're trying to like chop the rest of the family tree down, so. - Yeah, let's have him brought to, let's see if we can have like guards or something. - It'd be a bad look if we were creeping around trying. - Michael weapons, let's get him. - Michael weapons. - So let's say you got Mr. Easton to deliver a message. - To our chambers at once. - Too hard, yeah. Where would you like him to meet you? - I guess somewhere open within Winterhaven Hall. So we're public, so people don't think we're trying to get them away from everyone else or something.

- Well, the most open place in Winterhaven Hall would be the dining area where you slaughtered his mother. We'll always follow. - Okay, the second most open place in Winterhaven Hall. - Okay. - There's like a foyer area where you originally had your discussion with Ian and Talia when you came back. So that's kind of a comfy, like living room type of area. So pretty public. So a little later in the day, Nathaniel, let's say like an hour later, Nathaniel walks into the same area you guys would be sitting. I imagine you'd be waiting for him there. So he walks in and Nathaniel's dressed very differently than he was before.

He would be, like he always had nice clothes 'cause I mean, he's the son of a Lord, but now he's pretty much dressed like Ian was. So like really nice cloak, really like kind of regalia. Like he's a bit more of a I'm in charge around here air about him and you'll hear him coming down the hallway and he'll walk into the room. What do you need? I'm quite busy. - Would it be a perception? There's no real kind of check I can do to kind of get the feel of how he's treating us. Is there like- - Yeah, he gauges mood. - Yeah. - You can roll perception. - I can't.

(laughing) - You could. I didn't say it would be successful. - I got a plus eight, I can try. - Go for it, that's better than me. - I mean, you could roll, okay. (laughing) Almost like perception, perception will let you know how like his body language and all that insight would be more like after he speaks you can kind of, yeah. So Nathaniel looks tired. It looks like he's been dealing with shit nonstop since his mother and father died. It looks like a lot has been dropped on this kid's plate and it looks like he may be struggling to deal with it a bit.

- So hey there chief, I like your nice outfit. How's everything going? - He's gonna take a seat with you guys and you can see he's kind of settling in for a minute. He takes a deep breath and kind of sighs. I've been, it's just been nonstop. Do you have any idea what it takes to run this place? - I can only imagine. There anything we could do for you kind of make, make you feel a little better? - Well, I might have something for you, for you all to do if you'd like to help me. - Leononis, what's up? - Are you aware of what happened in Durn Hollow? - Vaguely.

- Go on. - I don't like how this is going. - What's in Durn Hollow? - Well, apparently some bandits rode through town a couple of weeks ago and burned a portion of it down. - That's... - Sons of bitches. - Savages. - I think that's a bluff check. - Does Duncan know about that? - No, Duncan doesn't. - I do. - Well, you can call it your sister's savage. - Oh, guess who has a plus 20 bluff. Oh, that's not me. Shit. (laughing) - That'd be fantastic. - Well, guess who has a plus four bluff. (laughing) - Oh! - Boom! - He quit. - Almost rolls a 22. - Nice. - So that sounds legit.

That doesn't sound like, that sounds like you're genuinely sympathetic. Like, man of savages. Like maybe even Yenward forgets what the fuck happened in Durn Hollow. (laughing) - Well, anyway, I guess, I guess the sheriff of their little town reached out to the Overwatch for assistance. And my understanding is that they've locked the town down. And especially since the Overwatch lost all their war forage, they've become increasingly paranoid about support in the area. My advisors say it would be a good idea if we maybe liberated them. (laughing) - God. (sighing) - And Duncan, Duncan- - I thought you said you had a little something for us.

- Sticked up, stick up, fall, and say. (laughing) - Sir, it would be an honor. I don't see a reason why we couldn't do this. And I kind of look over, throw a Linyanward. We're just eyeing Duncan. - So many reasons. - And I mouth, I go, what? (laughing) - So you're volunteering the group. You're saying, yes, that's- - Yeah, I say anything for you, King Dyneko. - I'm just a Lord, but- - We are the Knights of Winterhaven and we'd be honored to take this task. Truly living up to the name. I could see why my father trusted you enough to knight you. - Yeah. - He's under the impression that he knighted you.

- That's what I was like sitting there like, wait. (laughing) - I just want to get my shoulder clasp. - Sure, yes, of course. - Yup, yup. - Okay, so Duncan just- - Duncan has no idea, just- - Yeah, he doesn't know. - Let him go with it. - Yeah. - It would be a tremendous help. We're trying to focus everything on the army outside. We, my advisors tell me that it would be a good idea to give them something to do. So we're going to start marching south, be leading the charge. There's a couple of other things I think you should know. I know Malkus was a friend of yours, but I feel like he should answer for a few things.

So I'm putting the word out that there's a reward for anyone who can capture him and bring him back to the city. - Fair enough. We'll keep an eye out. - How much? (laughing) - I'd be offering 10,000 gold to anyone who can bring him to me. - Okay, duly noted. - Guys, that's like 1000 gold apiece. - I know, it's so much. - I'm also offering 15,000 gold to anyone who can bring the Una Analata. - On it, let's go. (laughing) - That dude's scary, but. - Someone say another crossover episode? - So now we're bounty hunters? - If she has my father's sword like you say she does, then while I can't go after her personally, I do want her to answer for her crimes.

- How much if we just get the sword? - If you just bring me back the sword, I give you whatever you wanted. Because it's you, I already feel like the city owes you a debt. It means a lot. - I'm not gonna make any promises, but we'll work on it. We'll do what we can. - But before we do anything for financial gain, we'll take care of the task at hand. - Yeah, yes. - He's gonna put his hand on Yinward's shoulder and thank you very much. - Yeah, no problem buddy. You're a good kid, Nathaniel, always been. You're gonna do a good job here. Don't worry about it. - If you need anything, we'll be right here for you.

This is like an episode saved by the bell. (laughing) (singing) - Nathaniel's gonna go ahead, turn around, and go back to meet with his advisors. What's Draconis doing right this second? - Tweaking. - He's still out in the, you said it's been an hour, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, he's, I don't even know, what is the state of the town? Is it like, is it in shambles or what? - Oh, the city's pretty much untouched except for - Okay. - A large rock that was flicked into the city and struck a clock tower. - Interesting. - So there were people cleaning up debris and there was some worry that the clock tower itself would fall over, but it appears to be structurally sound.

- Okay. Draconis has made his way into one of the closest bars, little pub there. - Okay. - Having himself a drink, trying to figure out what the fuck's going on. - Get right, you know. - Yeah. Feel good. - I love that you keep tossing Tom softballs and he'll just keep swinging. (laughing) - Okay, so are we, oh, I'm sorry, you're Draconis. - Well, unless Draconis wants to do something in this bar other than drink. - Fine, Jesus. - At the bottom of a mug. - There he is. - Not right now, no, I mean, that's what I was, I was going in there to like clear my thoughts and try to just settle down.

That's pretty much what I was doing. I mean, I, no, go for it. - Let me ask the party, would you like to go find Draconis? - I thought we'd conversate about that a little bit. - Okay, go right ahead. - If we sneak out now, he'll never know we're gone. - Yeah, so as we're leaving the hall, I kind of go, okay guys, looks like we don't have to stand trial, I'm assuming. And we have something to do, we're going to Durn Hollow and taking care of what's going on there. Do we really want to find that guy before we go or can we just get out of here, what do you think?

- Yeah, about that. - It was kind of his whole fault. - What did you think about that? - About that Durn Hollow thing. - We're adventurers and we have to take care of a situation. - Yeah, about that Durn Hollow thing. There's some stuff you may not know about. How do I explain this? You know the reason why we're not too fond of Draconis? - Oh, are you talking about the STD you got? Because Ynward told me about that a couple of days ago. - God damn it. - Out of all the important shit that you could tell him, that's one of the things you decided. - I told him the most important.

- As far as shit goes, that was pretty important. - Safety first, Orl. - He told me that if I ever go to Durn Hollow, don't see a whore and I thought that was good advice. - Anyway, so that whole, half of Durn Hollow getting burned down. Yeah, that may have been us. - More specifically the junkie. - More specifically the one who didn't conjure fire. - Well, what are we doing? Let's go, let's go. Let's get out of here before he sees us. Then maybe we can, I mean, we don't have Ironhide and Malchus with us, so maybe we won't be recognized. I don't know, let's just.

- I'm with you dude. What are we gonna hold him up while he's nodding off in a fight? - Let's get out of here. - Get out of here. - Just slide. - Fuck it, I don't care. - So the plan is to ditch Draconis. - Thanks guys, I appreciate that. - Imagine we're trying to walk quickly and that's when he comes out of the bar. Hey, where are you guys going? - That's what I was planning on doing, but I don't know if that would be allowed. - Yeah, well, I mean. - I think that'd be more entertaining if that happened. - That was the plan, that's what I was planning on doing.

I was just gonna walk out as you guys were trying to walk by, but. - You could have seen us through the window. We didn't run a stealth check or anything. - Yeah, make up for stealth checks. - I'll totally do that. - That sounds like a plan. - Middle of the day, people are wondering why we're like trying to sneak by the bar. - I thought it was the middle of the night. - Giant minotaurs. - No, it's totally daytime. - Okay. (laughing) - Trying to watch the headless. - Tip toe on my hooves. Bugs bunny. - All right, so yeah, so yeah, I'm walking out of the bar. - Yeah, yeah.

- Find out what's taking you guys so long. - Do me a favor, Thor will roll a stealth check there. - Yeah, that happens. - I did not see Thor, I'll tell you that. - Okay, so. - Thor just holds up a newspaper in his cleverly disguise. - So Draconis is starting to get a little antsy. Like he's starting to kind of wonder what the party's up to, what they're doing. So he decides to leave the bar and he's looking around for them. And he sees nothing. Until he spots the silhouette of a large furry bull man who appears to be hiding behind a bush. (laughing) - It's a big bush.

- He's carrying the bush with him. - That bush has horns, what's going on? - In the middle of a city. - It's one of those new shrubs. - And he appears to be almost leaping from bush to bush. - I don't think you can. - Like it appears as though he's putting lots of effort into it to avoid detection, but in doing so, it's putting on more of a show and causing more people to look at him. (laughing) - Crowds are just looking at him. - So Yennward's behind this bush, right? - He even tossed me money. - Yeah. (laughing) - They think it's like performance art, yeah.

- So Yennward's behind this bush, correct? Is that what I'm hearing? - Yes. - Okay, well I wanna throw a little fireball, conjure up a little fireball. - Oh Jesus Christ. (laughing) - And I wanna burn the bush right that he's hiding behind, and just set it on fire. Now I wanna yell, "Yennward, what the hell are you doing?" - Okay, so that is canon, that is what you wanna do. - Yeah, I just wanna like just set the little bush on fire, they just hide behind it. - Okay. - It's not a huge fireball. - Right, no, panic and hysteria break into the city as... - As a dragonborn launches a, okay, a small fireball, but still a fucking fireball in the middle of, in the middle of the business district here.

Apple carts and such are, there are people who are panicking as a bush ignites in front of the blacksmith. - Is this a Shrek movie or something all of a sudden? - Duncan and Thorold just look back, see it, just start walking faster. (laughing) Nope, nothing to see here. - Um, Yennward, what would your reaction be? Because right now about 12 people have just screamed and started running in the opposite direction. - I wanna just like look around like where it came from, and then I wanna just meet Draconis' gauge. Dude. - Yeah, and I screamed, yeah, like, "Yennward, what the hell are you doing?" (laughing) - Picnic.

- Okay, what the... (laughing) - Bluffjack, Bluffjack. - Let's wrap up one more though. - Picnic. - Picnic. - Like one? (laughing) - 15. What's Draconis' passive perception? - Um. - 15. (laughing) - Oh, insight, sorry, insight, insight. - Insight says plus 10, I don't know what that... - 20. - 20. - 20? - 20, okay. - So I'm not buying the picnic, that's good. - No, you're not buying that he was picnicking. - Picnic. - Picnic, what the hell is going, like, did you guys see Nathaniel, what's going, where's Thorin, the little midget guy? - He's just started jogging away, like, nope.

- They're um, Duncan stops and just laughing. - They're washing out the baskets. (laughing) - He doesn't believe me. (laughing) - He's sticking with this picnic thing. - Oh, I'm in too deep now. - Stick with your life. Okay, now, Draconis is gonna walk over now, he's gonna walk over to the Yennward. Dude, cut the shit, okay? What's going on? - We had a big meeting with Nathaniel and we got hungry. - Cut it, okay? I see you trying to fucking hide from me. Where are the other two at, what's going on? - They're over there. (laughing) - Just down the river. - Duncan waves.

- Floral's just gonna look defeated and wave as well. - What the, are you guys trying to skip out on me? What's going on here? Can I try a bluff check? Why am I getting so many bluffs? - So Duncan comes up to him and he rolls a bluff check. 31, so that's a crit. - Okay, well yeah, okay. Totally. - Say picnic. - Say anything you want. - Okay, well, we were looking for you and we couldn't find you and then we got hungry, so we decided to go get some lunch. - Behind a bush. - We're on our way back. Yennward's a weird one. - Yeah, we don't know about the Yennward.

This is what we were doing. - All right, okay, well let's skip lunch, okay. And what did Nathaniel say? Are you guys in trouble? No, we're good. - He kinda asked us to do something. We were, he gave us something to do, yeah. - After lunch. - Yeah, we were just gonna come find you. - All right, well, what did he want us to do? - Ah, no big deal. - You know what, you don't need to, like we can take care of it. - Do me a favor, Thor, roll a bluff check. - Crap. - Got a plus four, this is gonna end bad. - Me too. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Six. - That's a six. - It doesn't sound like a big deal.

Or it sounds like a pretty big deal. - Yeah, I mean, it's not a big deal to Nathaniel, 'cause you know, he, yeah, it's, I don't really know how to explain it. It's-- - What the fuck's going on? What is he talking about? - We gotta liberate Dernhollow. Well, the charter means of Dernhollow, thanks. - What do you mean liberate Dernhollow? - Oh, well, the winner, Haven, well not the winner, the Overwatch came in and they occupied it, and now we gotta unoccupy it. - Dernhollow, the Dernhollow. - Yeah, they kinda asked for assistance in-- - From us? - Yeah, like they're not in a good way, I guess, after we were there.

- Dude, you're shitting me. This is not, I hear every, I come back and hear all this shit you tell me, and now you're telling me Dernhollow needs our help? - They don't technically need our help. We're just trying to get it kind of back onto our side, which is gonna be a little bit harder after the last time we were there. - They probably won't even remember us. - Hey, you guys don't blame me for that. You know what went down, right? I mean, you know that wasn't my fault. - Well, it kinda like came directly out of your throat and mouth, so. - No, yes, yes, I burned it down, but I did it because Ironhide was in help and nobody else was around, so don't give me shit thinking it was my fault, okay?

All right, so I mean like, oh my God, you're kidding me. - I love that, it's like, okay, so we got that squared away and everyone believes me. Let's move on to the... - Sorry. - So if you don't wanna come, you don't have to come. - We can take care of this. - You three. - Totally. - We're awesome, we're a team. - I'd say it'd be better for two of the people who maybe would be well liked in the town, as opposed to the junkie who burned down their main source of income and then robbed somebody. - I didn't rob anybody, that was Ironhide. - You were kind of there.

- I was in the room when he was negotiating with that woman. - Yes, yes I was. - Way to pass the book. - Hey, hey, now listen, you three cannot liberate a whole city by yourself, I think you need some help. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - What, what's going on? - Draconis. - Yeah? - Did you just say that you were in the room while Ironhide was negotiating with that woman? (laughing) - Bluff checks. - Yeah. - Please roll a bluff check for me. - What am I bluffing, I was, that was. - Dude, you flabbed that. - I didn't take the help potions.

- No, you threatened to burn her fucking shop down and her. - All I got was information though, I didn't rob her of anything, I didn't take anything. - Okay, Ironhide was not negotiating anything. - You strong-armed. - I maybe used like a word that maybe makes it down a little bit better, you know, but. - That's bluff check, that's called bluff check. - I almost like, I almost, okay, if you tell me right now, hold on a second, hold on a second. If you tell me right now that Draconis has a selective memory because of his rampant drug use and legitimately remembers that event taking place in that way.

- Okay, yes, that's not the case. - That's not the case, okay. - Yes, correct, I rolled an eight. - Thank you guys. - 18. - I chose those words to use, yes. - Okay, ah, fuck. - It's not gonna pass Duncan's. - Nope. - No. - No, it will fool Thor and Ynward though. - God damn it. - But Duncan's gonna, Duncan's gonna kind of pick up, he's like, that doesn't sound right. - Hey, ah. (laughing) - Duncan should stand up. - Hey, wait a second. - Yeah, Duncan leans over, he nudges Ynward and goes, he's not telling the truth. - You're not telling the truth. (laughing) - I'm gone for a week, what?

- What has happened to you guys? You got this little guy here just whispering stuff in your ear and you just snap and just jump on it? What's going on? - You grew up, you should try it out. - Yeah, you just, we're hiding behind a bush. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Let's call you for crumbs, okay? - Hey guys. Hey, hey bud, hey, Draconis, right? - Yes. - Draconis? - Yeah. - Okay, here's the deal. You can ride with us, we ain't got no problem with that, but you have to understand this is a new low key group. You know, we try, we don't like throwing fireballs in public and storming the castles anymore.

We like to keep it on the DL. So if you can just, you can roll with us, but you know. - I like to keep things a bit smoother now. - Right, right. - This is group one 2.0. - So we ain't got a problem with you coming along if you can just, you know, keep it on the level. - Just be cool. - I'm, what, oh my God. Yenward, are you listening to this? - I'm growing up with Draconis. (laughing) - Hey, hey, Draconis just goes, "Hey man, they're with me now, okay?" (laughing) - I'll meet you on the slopes, brah. - Oh my God. (laughing) - It's like a bad ex, like, it's like an ex, like seeing him with a new girlfriend.

- Lady said she didn't want any. - I've moved on now. - All right, yeah, yeah, I'll help you guys out. I still owe you guys, I still owe you guys my life. Well, two of you anyway. - Dunga put up his fist. - What am I supposed to do with that? - Just like touch your, like, hand to it. Just like, just like make a fist and like, just hit it with his. Not hard, but just hit it. Just like tap it, like a little bit. - Yeah. - Draconis is just gonna kinda like, just look around and be like, "What in the fuck?" And just slowly reach his hand out and touch this. - All right, now we're bros.

Let's go. - Let's go. (laughing) - Pretty cool. - Two things. While you guys are standing there talking, the bush has erupted into flame and has spread to the building behind it. - No, what, no, no, no. - Don't put her hand in it. - No, no, no. - So the rather large blacksmith shop has caught fire. - Has caught fire? - Is somewhat. - Tired of all the weapons it could have bought. - And there are, there is a full blown panic in the shopping square here while people are grabbing buckets of water and they're trying to douse the flames. - Okay, Jason, what did the fire travel across?

Because the bushes, it was a windy day. - Yeah. - The bushes were right in front of the shop. I described it while. - I thought it was made of stone. I didn't think anything made out of. - If the roof is made out of that, you totally could have. - Okay, well guys. - Whole buildings asbestos. - I didn't say the whole buildings of fire. I said it has caught fire though. - I don't know if I wanted another drawing either. Just all of us like calmly like talking. It's like, yeah, we're like working things out. Things are burning down in the back. - Just being group one, just arguing in front of a fire.

- The baiting of what fire is bringing. - Okay, let's run to the fountain in the middle of the town and start grabbing buckets. - That is what everyone else seems to be doing. - Just like scoop stuff up with this. Wait, no, he doesn't have hands, nevermind. - I have two buckets of filling both up and my mouth and I'm just running over. - Fit on the building. - Do me a favor. Who's actively trying to put out this fire? - Me. - I am. - I am as well. - Everyone, okay. Go ahead and roll an athletics check for me everyone. - Yes. - Yeah. - I guess I'll do it. - 19. - 18.

- You bet athletics right here, 13. - 19 ain't bad. - I am old and slow so. - Draconis, don't you dare be spitting on the fire. - Just gonna make it worse. - It's just getting worse guys, I don't understand. - I heard an expression, I'm gonna fight this fire with some fire. Let's see if this. - Oh God, it didn't work. (laughing) - That's a terrible expression. I don't know why people use that. - They joined forces, now it's a super fire. (laughing) - It's a super fire. - It's like the super horse. - It has fire like strength. (laughing) - Oh my God, this is the most group one.

This is, congratulations. - We're back. - Group three did their thing last night and group one is definitely doing their thing today. Like that is awesome. - Group three was awesome and great and group one sucks. I understand Jason. - Well, no, no, no. I mean, I'm just saying they're my babies and favorites and I love them the most, that's all I'm saying. - I'm your most babyist and favoriteist. - You just need a little comedy to go with the drama. - Yeah, if you think burning down someone's livelihood is comedy, I mean, it's pretty. - We're trying. - No, I know.

Group one just fails upward. - We're trying to be serious and it doesn't work. - Like an hour. - Let's put off this fire, let's go. - It takes a while with those roles. It takes a while and significant damage was done to the shop. There's quite a bit of fire damage actually. After all, during the panic, everyone's just kind of working together to get this fire out and then we're to the point now where it's just kind of smoldering and sitting there. - I have some gold, can I give some gold to this? - Yeah, let's. - Okay, do me a favor firstly and run a perception check, everyone.

- Okay. - I really stink at these. - Oh, wait, did I? Yeah, I stunk at that one. - Great. - Thought I had the 20. - Only one. - The only one who knows what's going on is Draconis. - Draconis is hearing murmurings, all those little conversations, like if there's an accident and then everyone goes outside, like those little, it's like, what happened? How did this start? Like all of that and everyone's telling the same story and you can hear people whispering and pointing towards Draconis and then yinward, it's like, oh, he was trying to get his attention. I think they were fighting over money and he threw fire at him and then it just kind of spread to the building and they were just arguing in the middle.

Oh yeah, I've seen them fight here before too. Okay, yeah, no. I've, so they, and then that kind of spreads into, oh, did you hear? They killed the yin. Like it's that kind of, like it's building. - Really? Oh my God. Sorry about that fireball guys. I didn't think that it would come to this. - All right, did you say that out loud to people? - No, no, no, no, no. - Oh, okay. So everyone else seems to be oblivious of the talk going on. It's more just like, whew, that was something. - Can I kind of just like tell the guys, hey, we need to start getting out of here.

- Yeah, maybe you wanna. - Yeah, we need to start, let's pay the guy and let's get the hell out of here. - Diana, I would imagine that that would draw your attention to. - Oh, absolutely. - Okay. - Like I imagine that she might've been there just watching everyone kind of scurry around trying to put this fire out, just very amused. - What would you like to do? - Well, she's gonna wait until I mean, they're done putting up the fire out 'cause that's like, let them take care of it. I mean, it's like a bunch of, it's like watching like an ant pile that's been like kicked over.

It's just, it's kind of, it's entertainment, you know, watching all these humans scurrying around trying to fix something. - I'm not a human. - Well, no, like the rest of Winter Haven. Like there are other people besides you guys that are helping. - Yeah, the population of Winter Haven is predominantly human. There's some elves and dwarves and a couple of gnomes and such that live in the distance. - So she's just kind of like leaning against like a building, just kind of watching this, like from afar, then just like notices the group is there. And so when they start to head out, she's probably gonna sort of casually walk on over to them.

- So we see her? - Well, she's not making any effort to stay hidden, so yes. - Duncan yells, "Malchus!" in point A. - God damn it! - What? (everyone laughs) - Girl Malchus! - Draconis is gonna whip around and look in that direction. - Can I ask you a question? How the hell does Duncan not know what a dragonborn or a tiefling is? - He's very sheltered. - I guess so, Jesus. - He lived in a dwarven encampment underground and then he lived on a farm with no one around. - True, okay, yeah. - I was about to say, Nathaniel even knows like certain shit about the world, like.

- Malchus! And then everyone just spins around, money! - Everyone in the crowd like. - Oh yeah, he says it loud enough that everyone hears. (everyone laughs) And there's a reward outfit too, guys. (everyone laughs) - Oh yeah, I'd like to reach up for my axe, all right. (everyone laughs) - So, that, did I just, he's gotta kinda like raise an eyebrow, like, oh, what, like, no. (everyone laughs) - Long devil, you guys. - Yeah, no, like, she's female and her, their horns are different shapes, so that should be clear enough even for young men. (everyone laughs) - I'm just like, no, I'm not Malchus.

I'm like, what? She doesn't say that, but she's kinda like. - Just look over quizzically at Duncan. - What the hell? - Duncan, okay. - I too. - Okay, Duncan goes up to her and goes, well, where is Malchus? (everyone laughs) - Oh yeah, she probably knows her coos. - All those hells are working together. (everyone laughs) (Duck quacks) - Spit it out, devil. - Where's your brother? - I have absolutely no idea. At last I heard you were the group that he was in, so. - And now we're hunting him. - Give up the deeds, lady. - Wait, we're hunting who? What are you, we're not hunting Malchus.

- Oh yeah, he doesn't even know either. - Can I like wave my hand at him like, (Duck quacks) - Did I just put a little smell over Duncan's mouth? - Okay, I look over at Thorol and I snap my finger and I point at her. - Diana's gonna look at Thorol and just kinda like this look of sort of like disgust, like it's as if she got like a whiff of like a really bad smell, like that's just gonna kinda come over her face when she sees it. - You too? - Yeah, you know. (Duck and Diana laughing) - Clean myself up already after that. - So you are the group that is in charge of the whole attack the Overwatch thing, yes?

- Puff match house I sure are, yep. - She's a bit more unsure than she was before just because of all that just took place. Like she's not like, okay, okay, this is. - I would imagine they don't look like they're in charge of that shit. - Like heard about this. - First impression of us is us desperately trying to take out a fire. - Well there are two stories that would be going around depending on who you'd like to believe and the Overwatch side and I imagine a few people in Winterhaven are this group of organized rebels and or you know, just evil, like they're addictive, they plan, they'll murder you, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And on the good side it's like, oh, you got Malchus Grimnus who is the leader of this noble order of knights and they're highly organized and they've done this, this and this and then you got, you know, the actuality of it. - There is no middle ground on people's opinions of Malchus. - Before we go on in this conversation, it might be a good idea to pay the shop owner real quick. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Yeah, this guy is standing out in front of his shop and just like crying. - I'm like, I wanna hold up a finger. You hold on, I wanna walk over to the blacksmith.

Sorry about the junkie. - Oh jeez, hey look man, don't cry. Hey, come on, fuck up. Chin up. - We're gonna pay for all this and another floor. - Yeah, you have two floors. - Just consider this like a renovation. It's just on hold for a bit, just give us time. We'll fix everything. - Diana's gonna watch Edward doing this and she's gonna kind of like raise an eyebrow to like not say anything, but she's like, why are you doing this? Like, why would you be paying this? Like, just kind of confused, but okay. - Duncan didn't go to the shopkeeper. - I also did not go to the shopkeeper.

- I'll look back and like, I got this guy. - Yeah, that's why I didn't go, 'cause Edward got it. And I look up at Diana and I go, don't worry, he does this all the time. We got this taken care of. - Do me a favor, Yennward, roll a diplomacy check. - Sure thing, Buttercup. - Plus four. - 15. - Really good with that 15. - Could have been worse. - That's over 500. - The guy's gonna stop kind of, like he's kind of getting ahold of himself. This, this shops my livelihood, this is everything I have. How are you gonna pay for all this? - We're heroes and we make banks, so we got this.

Don't you even worry. - Do we just want to hand him the money now? How much money do we got on us? - Not a lot for me. - Yeah, most of his money is still with a gnome. - How much money is needed, Jason? - I mean, that depends on how much you'd like to give him. Like this is gonna cost him thousands and thousands in repairs. - I'm not offering up anything. - It's gonna take time and effort. - I mean, I got, I'll throw, I'll throw down 2000 gold. - What? Crazy. - Hop up, hop up, hop up. - You got me right. - You remember the size of this blacksmith shop like tripled since the last time you were here.

This is a massive operation. They make this, this, this one guy owns the shop where they make all of the weapons and armor for Winter Haven's army. - Right, right. Yeah. - Just screw the very city we're trying to protect. - This guy's essentially the Tony Stark of Winter Haven. He is like, he's their weapons supplier. - Just destroyed his home. - You'd think a blacksmithing shop would be a bit more fireproof. - But only to be fair, yeah. You'd think it'd be a bit more like made out of stone or something considering there's all that fire. - Well, the areas where they actually, the areas where they actually fucking smell shit and fucking, yes, not the, not the outside of the- - The storefront got a little singed.

- Okay, okay. - It's singed. - Like picture the storefront as like the display area, the actual shop, the forge itself in the back. Like that's, I mean. - It's fine. - Okay. - So is Duncan gonna give him the bag of gold? - Yeah. - All right, see, there you go, man. You can, all right, you're gonna have to downsize a little. - For a while. - You can set up like a little tents, get the sun out of your eyes. You can sell your wares on the table. And- - Oh, like 30 seconds ago, you promised him a second floor. Now he has to downgrade. - No, this is just for now. And so we're gonna be back, but this can hold you over.

That's what I'm saying to him as I give him the gold. - Diana is staring at Duncan, like he's absolutely crazy. He's like handing this human, this huge sack of gold. Like what is wrong with you? - I woke up from the dead with it. (all laughing) - Ain't no thing. - Yeah, not a lot of grave robbers in winter. (all laughing) Duncan's body would be treated with a large amount of respect. The guy's gonna accept the money and just kind of like nod, but like you could tell he's completely in shock. Like he's just staring at this smoldering building. - Here you go, sport.

See, everything's gonna be all right. You go take a nap. You've had a hard day. Let me see that smile. You know what? Later, go on. (all laughing) - Oh, he's gonna kind of stumble away from you and we're just kind of get away from him. Like he just doesn't really have anything to say. Like he's just kind of like, what the hell am I gonna do now? - So as Duncan and Ian were walking back, Duncan looks up and says, you handled that really well, Ian Ward. I think you did a great job. - He's gonna be fine. He's a trooper. - We're good. We're heroes. So don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. And then we go back to Diana. Okay, I'm sorry. Where were we? I apologize for that. (Diana laughing) - Oh, I am looking for Zand and Carter. I have some business with them. And I believe that joining your group would be the best way for me to achieve those goals. I mean, are still intending to attack the Overwatch proper, yes. - At some point. - Yeah. - But that did not sound convincing at all. (all laughing) - I believe so. Be honest with you, I don't even know anymore. I don't even know what's going on, but yeah. Duncan goes, yes. - So the army outside the gates is just for show or?

- No, we're doing it. We're taking care of it. - We will, we will. We got a couple of things to take care of first. We'll get to it. But you have to tell us where Malchus is. - I just want to say under my breath, everything's going so well and I'm surrounded by a junkie, a devil and a dwarf. - Can I roll a perception check? - Yeah. Go ahead and roll. - Okay, no problem. - Wow. - It was a crit miss. - Did I do anything? - Neither did Duncan. - I rolled an 18. - Draconis will just pick up faint murmurs. - Oh nice, yeah. - Yeah, like that. Yeah, you picked it up. - Thorold's just going to look at Yennward and be like, I know, right?

Jesus, this whole thing's just gone to hell in a hand basket. - Can I roll a perception check for that? (all laughing) - He's trying to have bonding time with Yennward and everyone picks up on that. (all laughing) - Wait, Dike. - Jeez Thorold, it's not nice to talk shit about your friends. - I don't know how. - I'm gonna roll a stealth check. - Okay, hold on, hold on. Diana and Duncan did not hear what Yennward said, but they definitely heard what Thorold said. - I heard what Thorold said. - Iron hide on us. - It's like, look at Thorold, like he's just like the most disgusting thing on the planet.

- Can I roll a stealth check versus their perception? - No. - No. - A little late now. - Duncan looks at Diana and goes, "What an asshole, right? Seriously." (laughing) - He is human, you expect him around. - Let's leave him. Let's go guys. Let's get out of here. - Are they saying this loud enough that I don't have to do a perception check? - Oh yeah. - Perception check. (laughing) Do you want to say anything? Can we go on? - Thorold's just gonna eyeball. (laughing) Just gonna eyeball Diana. - Okay, hold on. Why do you need Carter? What are you trying to do here?

- I have business with him. He has information that I would like to get out of him. By whatever means may be necessary, I suspect that those means may not be too friendly towards him, but hopefully that should not be a problem. - You know what? We're pretty important. Why do you bring the table for us? - I am a fairly skilled magic user. - She's a devil and a witch, you guys. - Oh my God. - We kinda already have a fairly skilled magic user and he's not exactly helped us out. - Fairly. - Skilled. - Check your words, son. - Okay, look, here's the deal. We help you find Carter, you show us where Malchus is.

- Fair trade. - Time out, time out. - I have never seen him before in my life. - I don't believe her, guys. - She's a devil, she's a dark re-honest. - Don't believe her. - Cacodas, get her. - You guys wanna talk about this? I mean, are you guys really considering this person? - No. - Not at all, actually, no. - She's a scary devil woman, why would I? - Duncan, are we away from her? Is this, are we just talking about her? - We didn't. - We never let you hurt, but we're fine. - Can we pull the group to the side, maybe? Just like, one minute. - Huddle up. - Yeah. - I love that Draconis is part of the group, though.

It's just. - That was just part of the group, though. - I want Draconis to be like, okay guys, huddle up. And we're all just like looking at him, like what the fuck do you think you're doing? - I don't care if she hurts me, here's how I see it. We gotta do something. All she wants to do is hurt Carter. I don't care if she hurts Carter. She might be able to help us. We already traveled with one devil. What's another one? - She sprouts spider legs at any minute. That's scary. - But it could be useful. - And scary. - You know what it can't be useful? When someone's falling down a pit and they choose not to turn into a spider to try to save them.

- Wait, can I hear all of this? - Yeah. - Like, I don't. - Every time I see a spider, I glance at you. - So wait a second. You guys bothered, hold on. You bothered to bring everyone aside so that you could talk loud enough to chicken and shacks. - No, no, no. Draconis wanted to pull us aside and we were just like, no. - Yeah, we were just like, no, no, no. - Okay. - I don't turn into a spider, that's not, I don't shave. It's not one of my skills. - What do you bring to the table? 'Cause we already got a fire caster. We already got a magic man. - Can you spray water and put out fires?

Because that would be great. - They're really helpful. - That would be much more helpful. - I'm gonna try and attack on Thorol, is that so? - Oh my God. - Oh, what? - Wow. - Thorol does hate women. - His will is on me too, so let's see how. - Hold on a second, let's do this. Let's put Diana in the table. (laughing) - This isn't like a team. This is just for like the show. Like I'm not, okay, well let's. - It's happening again. - I'm making no sense. - Thorol's about to get one shot. - Why does Thorol fight every woman that's in the table? - Oh my God. - I'm gonna have Thorol, I'm just like could you please just like hit yourself in the face?

Face of Maylake and. - Wow. - It's a show of power, they're asking me what I can do. This is what I do. - So Thorol punches himself in the face as hard as he can. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Make him pants himself. - Do it, do it, do it, do it. - Oh my God. - Do it. - Make him take off his pants. - Hold on, if you'd like to roll a secondary attack to make him pull his own pants down, you can. - I don't know, I don't have the tech that's specifically pants. - Yeah, no, I mean like, yeah. - I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do that. - But he does punch himself in the face.

- Yes, he does punch himself in the face. - Roll damage I guess? - Yeah, but Thorol, I need to roll the damage for that. - It'd just be a punch, right? So maybe just like a flat D6? - Yeah, it's not like it'll hurt you, it just meant. - One. - It's not meant to like actually hurt you as much as she'd probably like to, it's just sort of like, yes, this is what I do. Like, so like that happens and then she's like, yes. - So the group is standing there, they're kind of questions like, what exactly do you bring to the table? You request that Thor punch himself in the face and Thor punches.

- Our eyes light up, no one has to move pants. (laughing) - We asked her to pants him, we're asking. - Thor was just gonna reel with just a shocked look on his face, like what the fuck? - So you're saying you can't make him take his pants now? - I don't know, I could, but. - Do it, do it. (laughing) - Wait, wait guys, hang on. - Oh shut up. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Hey, shut up. - Hang on guys, wait. I don't know why the hell you're making her do this stuff to me. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Guys, why are you making her do this stuff to me? - Oh my God, 33? - So go ahead and pull your pants in a few.

- Oh my God. (laughing) - Wow. - So, Thor is now, hold on. Thor is now standing bare ass in the same. - Why was he wearing underwear? - Let me just, hold on a second. - They had to just, she kind of like sighs, like this is like kind of like beneath her, but like, all right, like she's trying to get into this group and it's like, although at this point she's kind of wondering why she's trying to get into this group, but if that's what they, like, that's the only reason that she's bothering to do this, but whatever. - God damn it. - I'd like to hold my fist up to her.

Classic gag, classic gag, you're in. - Can we keep her? Can we keep her, Edward? Okay, wait a second. - Can I do something yet? - One second, hold on. - Love your pants, pervert. (laughing) - One second, hold on, hold on, hold on. In the past five minutes, you have gotten to a full blown argument while a fire roars behind you and burns down, burns down portion of the, yes. Then several minutes go by where you are trying to put out the fire. Then you essentially partially bribe one, the blacksmith owner and try and smooth that over, even though that will not nearly be enough money to fix a shop.

Then you are talking with this tiefling woman and Thoril, for no apparent reason to anyone in the square, just removes his pants, just pulls them down. - After hitting himself in the face. - After punching himself in the face. You look insane. (laughing) - Okay, so Duncan, he starts noticing the people that are around and how can he turn this into making it look like it was all a show for them? Like he would've- - Ta-da! - Here's his penis, everyone. - The power of suggestion, ladies and gentlemen. (laughing) - That's why he would do something. - That wouldn't be any kind of check, would it?

Because that's what it was. - Like, is it apparent that Duncan's like about to go like explain himself, like explain us? - Yes. - Okay, so they're humans. We don't have to explain ourselves to them. - Thor would have control of himself. - Duncan turns around and goes, "You're right." And then he stops. (laughing) - Hey, where's it going? - Can Thor do something yet? Thor. - Hide your shame. (laughing) - So Thor would be aware of his actions, but completely unable to stop it as he whipped his pants down. And now he would have control of his body again. - Thor's just gonna go, just walk right after, not even worry about pulling his pants up and just grab her.

I don't know if I have to do a check or something. Just grab her by the collar or something. - This is getting violent. - Yennor, get him. - Hold on, hold on, hold on. Fair is fair. Pants down around his ankles, Thor is going to try and grab at, oh God, he's gonna try and grab at Diana. Okay. - With no pants. - With no pants, yeah. Okay, so this is strength versus reflex. - She's gonna sprout snakes, don't. - What do I have to roll here? - So it's a D20 plus your strength modifier. - Okay. Jesus, what the hell is my, oh, God damn it. Which is zero. - Which is zero and her reflex.

- God damn it, there's no point in rolling it. She has a 23. - Wait, there's another plus to that. Hold on a second. - What level? - Plus half your level. Plus half your level. - Oh, plus five. - I just want to point out how bro-y Thoril is right now because we're the ones who got her to do it and he's not even coming for us. He's going straight for her. - Thoril does have a problem with women, I think. - Oh shit. - I just said he was a bro. I didn't say that. - It's a D20 plus five. - No, no, no. - It's a D20 plus five. - Yeah. - Damn it. - That's not gonna... - F15, he's gonna...

- So she's just gonna move out of the way if we don't touch me. - Trip and fall all over his pants. - No, no, no. That would have been more of a crit one type of thing. - Okay. - Okay, hold on, hold on. Let her speak. - Gonna be like, don't touch me. Very just like, it's only like defensive. Like if he tries to go at her again, she might actually fall out and attack him. - Everyone roll a perception check for me, please. - Okey dokey. - Here's my perception. - 20. - 13. - Triconus is going to hear new murmurings and actually a shout coming from someone. Hey, that guy's trying to assault that girl.

- Oh my God. - Yes. (laughing) - Yep, he is. - He has his pants down and he's grabbing at me and I'm like, clearly not perfect. Oh my God. - Can I roll perception to see if I hear about this? - Yes, please do. Wait, didn't you? - No, I didn't. - Okay, that wasn't the 15. - Crit. - 28. - Crit. - That's a crit. - Almost a crit. - Thoril is all of a sudden very conscious of the fact that he has his pants down and is grabbing at a woman in the middle of the shopping district here. And how that is perhaps perceived by some of the residents of Winterhaven. - This is the best show we've ever done, guys.

(laughing) - You had one episode where you solved problems in a diplomatic fashion. - Thoril's just gonna whip his pants right back up after he realizes this. And just kind of give like a, it's no problem, it's no problem. There's no issue here. - I don't think you're the one who should say it's a problem. - Yeah. - No, she's fine, she's fine. - She is just like, she's clearly like defensive and just like glaring daggers at him, like watching him like as if he's like a rabid dog, just like waiting for him to make another move towards her. - I have a question.

I have a question though. Diana, did you take that to be like weird or do you know that he was trying to attack? - Not like weird as in like he's like sexually assaulting or anything, it's more like he's human, he's just like, he's attacking her. Like she's just like, it's yeah. - How many people are there around us right now? - Oh, Jesus. - Winterhaven's a city filled to the brim with people. We're talking tens of thousands of people. - Okay, and they're all looking at us obviously, right? - Yeah. - Well, not tens of thousands of people, but the shopping center, the shopping district's filled with hundreds of people and there's lots of, you have garnered a lot of attention for yourself recently.

- All right. - I hate the idea that I'm gonna be like in the middle of like some speech or diplomacy check and she's just gonna roll against my will and maybe punch myself at the most random times. - You mean like, she's like her tail is flashing, she's like kind of like growling a bit even, like she's just not, like this is really not happy about. She's very. - All right guys, just let you know, you guys are causing a scene, okay? We need. (laughing) - The dragon's like. - I just wanna look up like a blip thing, huh? Oh. - Okay, now look, we need to get the hell out of here.

Are we taking this chick with us or not? - Yeah. - Yeah. Oh, Duncan looks at her and goes, "Hey look, you have to understand, we like to keep things low key. So as long as you can do that, as long as you can roll with that, then." - Yeah, don't do the devil stuff. - Right. (laughing) Anytime you want to though, you can make him take off his pants. I have no problem with that. (sighing) - I have no desire to take off his pants in any form, believe me. - Oh, burn. Oh. (laughing) - That's a good one. - Cora's just gonna look at her and just be like, all right, devil bitch.

- Oh. - You want to join us, fine. Do that shit again, you're getting battle axes in your skull. - Try and grab at me again and your own battle ax will be in your skull. - So we good? (laughing) - God, that just, she could make you beat yourself to death. That's so humiliating. - I'm good. - All pan. (laughing) - Well, this is going smooth so far. - I think it's great. - You're leaving the city? - Yes. - All right. - Is it time for Duncan to play a song on the way? (laughing) - Yeah, let's cap this off. What would you like to, I mean, is that how you'd like? - Running with the devil.

- Oh, rolling with the devil's great, yes. - Rolling with the devil is what I'm gonna play. - Running with the devil. - This fire burns. (laughing) - Running with the devil, that's it. - Running with the devil, all right. - Wait, do I have a horse? Are we on horse? - Super horse, named Comet. (laughing) - We just expect you, you can ride your Kona's if you want. (laughing) - Can't you just like sprout wings? (laughing) - We can't like buy you a horse. - I just spent $2,000 paying off in black, blacksmiths. - That's just fault for giving money to humans. - We're grownups, we budget, so.

(laughing) - Budget. - Um, let's say that for the sake of argument right now, Diana has a horse. - Oh, she can have Malchus' horse. - Oh yeah. - Well, okay, yeah, that's true, I guess. Well, now I would imagine Malchus took his horse when he. - You mean the invisible dude riding on a horse? - Well, I mean, he wasn't invisible forever, that's not something he could do forever, that was just to get away from you. - What about Ironhide's horse, is that still there? - Ironhide, you need to, he used, why would he just leave his horse and then like he's running along with the group?

- Yeah. - Horse, like I had, I had like traveled to Winterhaven. - Right. - My own horse. - Well, I mean, you can do that. Right, okay, so let's say she has a horse and you guys are getting ready to leave the city here. On the way out of the gates, these guards can't wait for you to leave the city. - Wonder why. - Can't fucking wait. - We're night. (laughing) - You're not a night. - We just rolled out like we're heroes. - Oh God. There's a half-orc guard posted, you've seen him before and he is just, just like as you're leaving, just shaking his head. Just like I.

- Can, do I notice? - Roll a perception check. - Okay. - You would notice this. - Okay. - That's not. - Hey, don't worry, man, we'll be back. (laughing) Just, you just, hey, do me a favor, sucker, you just hold the fort down for me, that's what I'm gonna put you in charge of. - This guy just looks gobsmacked at your fucking audacity. - It's just like, can I just look over at Yenward and just be like, I don't think they're sad to see us leave. - Up, up, up, up, up. (laughing) - Duncan looks at Thoril and goes, Yenward's our leader now, okay? He's a king. - Leaving the city.

There is, there's a drow woman that is going to approach the party. Very no-nonsense, kind of just kind of saunters up to the group and she stops right in front of Yenward. - Hey. - Minotaur. - Oh, hi. Pale lady thing. - I wish to speak with you. - Okay, go for it. And then she looks at the rest of the party kind of like side glances. Is there somewhere we could speak privately? - No, I roll deep, my boys always come with me. - Word. Very well. I saw you converse with one of the dwarves the other day. - Yes, Stone Sender, the dwarf. - It didn't sound like you had any love lost for them.

- No, the hate's mutual though, so it's fine. - And again, she's kind of eyeballing the rest of the group. - What if I said that we had plans of taking Stone Sender, the mountain. - And handing it over to me? - We're more interested in what's under. - What do you mean? - Are you sure we can't speak privately? - I was gonna say, can we hear this entire conversation? - Oh, you can hear this entire conversation. - Very intriguing. - Just, you know what, keep going, they're fine, man, they're with me. - As long as they're trustworthy. - They're my boys. - 'Cause she's specifically looking at Duncan.

- Do I know who's looking at Duncan? - Duncan's just trying to look out. - Take out your ukulele. - I don't have a ukulele. I love that that's one of the things people have gravitated towards, oh, he uses a ukulele. It's like, no, he has a big guitar. It was just, they're using derogatory speech to minimize his profession. - Well, I mean, it's a dwarf guitar, so it's... - It's the same thing with Valis called, it's the same thing with Valis called Jadzia's fucking helm a soul hat. - That's funny. - Oh, and okay, so can I tell that she's like staring me down?

- Do a perception check. - Okay. 18. - Yep. - Okay, so I go, I go, lady, if you have a problem with dwarves, you don't have to worry about me, 'cause I got a problem with dwarves, all right? So go right ahead. - Yeah, this one's all right. He's okay. - Okay. - He's the runs of the litter. - Hey. (laughing) - We honestly could care less about the mountain itself, but the word here in the camp is that you will be taking over as the leader of the minotaurs soon. - That is correct. - And then she reaches her hand out, Ora-clad. - Yeah, word. - I have a feeling we have much to discuss in the coming weeks.

- So what's under the mountain? - Used to be our greatest city. The dwarves ended up invading and taking it. There was very little we could do, but perhaps if we joined forces. - And I get the top floor, and you guys get the bottom floor. Am I reading you right? - Again, we could care less about the mountain. You can have it. We wouldn't expect you to receive nothing from our alliance. - As long as everything's cool, I don't want no fighting in my house. - None of our kind have a problem with your race. - And wait, who are you to speak for all of them? Are you like important or something?

- And she gives a deep bow. I'm the matriarch for my people. - Oh, snap. Nobles dropping elbows, you guys. Okay, cool. You know, that sounds like a great idea, actually. Let's shake on it now, and we'll talk some more later. - There's the small matter of punishment to be handled at for someone specific within the walls of the Overwatch, but after that's concluded, I would have no problem marching my people into the mountain with you. - Right on, right on. - And she is going to hold her hand out. - I'll shake it. - That is... - Are we shaking too? - She could give a fuck about you guys, to be honest.

- I want them to shake their hand out, though. - I put my fist up. - I just nod. - Can you humor your fist? - Diane is going to ask the, or just be like, the person that you believe needs punishment, who would that be, by any chance? - Someone named Marcus Sanna. - She nods. As long as it's not Carter, he's mine. - She's going to eyeball Diana. Who the fuck are you to claim anybody? - Right? - To her, it's like you're no one. You were lucky to be privy to this conversation. And she's going to glance down at Duncan and the fist. What do you want me to do with that?

- Just touch it, just humor. - I'm a bard. - It'll make me feel better about the deal, I just do it. - Don't ask me, I wanted the same damn thing, I don't know. It's this thing. - Duncan all reaches. - Sounds like a mentally handicapped believe you. - Duncan sounds like fucking, he's Ralph Wiggum. - Yes. - I'm a bard. - I dressed myself. - No, I'm explaining because it's a bard thing. - I know, but that was like, I don't know. I immediately thought of Ralph Wiggum. - Right, but that didn't explain what it was. It was just you pronounce it, it's like, I'm a bard.

Like that didn't, it's like, this is how we greet each other. - It's like saying I'm black. - Right, it's like, she's gonna kind of reach her hand out and wrap it around your fist briefly. - He just smiles and giggles kind of pulls his chest away. Like that was good enough that. - You should be careful taking that mentally handicapped child into battle with you. - You know, it's his wish though. - Oh God. (laughing) - We don't, we feared as he's not long for this world and we just want to make the little fella happy. - Let's fear we make a wish foundation.

(laughing) - His whole life he wanted to travel with heroes and we feel good enough to make that happen for him. (laughing) - She said, the entire time you were telling her this, I'm debating on whether you should roll a bluff check. - No, cause she's the one who called him mentally handicapped. - Right, that's true. Okay, she assumes and you're just rolling with it. Okay. She's just kind of like look at Duncan and then just like look back to Ynward and shake her head. Poor simpleton. - He's happy though, so, you know, he smiles a lot. That's what matters to us.

- Okay, he won't be fighting with you when we take them out and will he? - No. - Play some songs, you know. - Okay, Duncan, Duncan is starting to make Duncan angry. (laughing) - Up, up, up, up, up. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me take this. Don't worry about me. Very capable fighter. I came back from the dead, all right? So. - It's Chewie dead. - And she's gonna kind of, she's gonna kind of lean down. Of course you did. (laughing) - Duncan doesn't catch on to the sarcasm. (laughing) - And like tussles his hair. - She's real nice, guys. (laughing) - And she's gonna give one final glance to Yenward and just kind of like gently like shake her head back and forth like, that poor bastard.

(laughing) She's gonna get ready and walk away. - She's gonna stifle laughter. - As she, like when she's gone, they're just gonna turn to Yenward and just like ask like, so you're the leader of the minotaurs. - Incumbent leader. I'll get there. - She kind of nods, like kind of impressed, like, okay, that's cool. Yep. - Yenward. - Hey. - Do me a favor, roll a perception check. - Sure thing, sweetie. - 24. - Laris Darkhoof was watching that entire exchange. - Oh. - And you can kind of see there's a look on his face that's a show of concern, but he doesn't approach you.

He doesn't pull you aside or anything, but there's definite concern there. - I'll talk to him, let's do it. - Are you, I imagine you're approaching him after you see. - Yeah. - Why so glum, buttercup? What's the problem? - Aren't we all following with him or? - Yeah. - That's up to you guys. - Yeah, the end is gonna follow. - I handled that really well. This is gonna be great for us. - I take it you struck some sort of deal with her. - Absolutely. See, here's the thing, underneath the mountain, right? There's like a city apparently, and the dwarves took that too.

So we're gonna do, so we're gonna do like a condo thing and we're gonna take out the dwarves and live congruently in peace together. - And did it ever occur to you to perhaps run that by me? - Oh, I thought you'd be happy that, you know, this is best for us. We're gonna get the mountain back, isn't that great? - And the other day when you pulled Stone Sunder aside, you didn't think to involve me in that either. - I was just trying to calm everything down. I didn't want to start, you know, didn't want you guys to fight in the middle of the field. I diffused the situation.

- And he's going to lean in very close to Yinward and just kind of whisper, "Remember that you're not king quite yet, Yinward." - Yes, sir. - And then he's gonna kind of lean up and just kind of give you that bro-ish head nod thing. Like, all right, on your bike, get out of here. - Hey, I, you know, I didn't mean to piss you off or anything, man. I was trying to, you know, make you proud. I'll slow my roll, man, I got you. - He doesn't say anything. He just kind of gives like a head nod, like, "It's fine, I got it. It's all good." - All right, man. We got some business to handle.

I'll catch up with you later. - Another head nod, just kind of like, sorry. - Cut it! (laughing) - Yinward never gets reprimanded. (laughing) - I just love that Yinward immediately starts making all these big moves and plays and shit. Well, let's see here. We got a little bit more time. - Cut to Dern Hallum. (laughing) - You guys are gonna get ready and start riding to Dern Hallum. - God damn it, I was saying shit and I was muted. (laughing) - Anything good? - No, it's fine. - Anything good? - No, just little one-liners. - Did you start to wonder why no one was laughing?

- Kind of. (laughing) I like said a joke and then there was a paltry silence for two seconds. I'm like, "Oh God." (laughing) - Bombs hard. Start tugging at your collar. - I do that all the time and I feel like, "Oh God, I stink." (laughing) Oh no, it's muted, thank God. Can still use that one. (laughing) - Try to put it in the folder for later. - You can move fast, but... - Yeah, do totally. - Try and get the conversational loop background. Hey, you guys mentioned weather earlier? Someone said something about weather. - Yeah. - I feel like if I go, "Hey, remember earlier where we were talking about stones under, wouldn't it be cool if there were stones under it, right?

Get it? (laughing) - I get it now, hey. - Stones under, stones under. - Yeah. (laughing) - Cool. - You're clever, Jason. (laughing) - I think I have a sound effect for that. - No, just boo. - Yeah, just the long versus boo. - Okay, let's go. - Okay, yeah, let's get far away from that joke. - Um, stones under. (laughing) - You're bringing it with us, stop it. - He's the king of the mountain, I get it, he's on top. The mountain's under him, it's made of stone. It's brilliant, Jason. - I know. - Really great writer. (laughing) - Imagine Dan with his arms wide going, "Stones under, get it?" I'm with you, man.

- Right? - Come on, guys. - Tom, I don't think they get it. (laughing) - 'Cause, okay, 'cause he's like the leader, right? (laughing) - He's in a mountain, and that would kind of like make him on top, so like philosophically, he's, the stones are under him. - Right, 'cause the stone, 'cause the mountain is made of stones. - And he's on top of it. - Right. Oh my god, that's funny. - Yeah, it's awesome. - Jesus Christ. - I think it's a good time to wrap up for the night. (laughing) - No, no, no, no, we were gonna do something. (laughing) We're on the way to Dernhall.

- Let's go, let's go. - I'm just so bummed now. (laughing) - Okay, let's get ready to do this. Well, this is gonna be a journey. It's gonna take you past Aubrey, firstly. So, do you have any business in Aubrey at all? - That's my home, Diggs. I wanna stop by and say what's up. Draconis can't open his mouth. - I hate that city. - You burn down Aubrey, I'm gonna fucking kill you. (laughing) - So, is there anywhere specifically that you'd like to visit in Aubrey? - I wanna find my little buddy and just say what's up. Her name's escaping me except for Reese Witherspoon.

- Clarissa, Clarissa. - Clarissa, yes. - Clarissa. - Clarissa Edmond. Okay, so she would be at the temple and she is not too hard to spot, actually, 'cause she's-- - Punchback. - Yes, punchback. Yep, totally a hunchback. - She gained 200 pounds. - In a week and a half. - Oh, God. Okay, let's go. - She, yeah. So, I guess you're wandering into the temple here? - Yeah. - Okay, so they worship a monitor. That's pretty much their god of choice. - You know, I lived in the church. I'll do a quick little stations on my chest. - Okay. - Shout out to Big A. - What's up, Big A?

- She's gonna notice you and she's going to start, she's gonna start, "Yenward!" And she's going to start sprinting towards you. The thing is, her robe is a good size and a half larger than it should be for her, so let's have her roll an athlete's check. - What? - 16. She is going to start running towards Yenward and then stumble at the last second and then pretty much fall into Yenward. Now, this isn't going to do anything to Yenward because Yenward's a fucking eight foot tall bull man who weighs like 500 some odd pounds. - Yeah. - But she's dead. - She, she.

(laughing) - She's laying still in my horns. - She breaks her neck on your hip. - That's what I was about to say, she broke her neck. She's done. - No, but she does kind of like tumble into Yenward and just kind of like headbutt your thigh and like it's deeply embarrassing for her. - Yeah. - Are the rest of us there? - Yes, I would imagine unless you didn't go with him. - She's gonna roll her eyes and like discuss like not even. It's like. - Ah, shucks kiddo in front of all these people. Yikes. - She just bit it hard, like just kind of like. - No, I said that to her.

- Okay. (laughing) - Whoa. Going to, I'm blocking you, going, meeting your closure, hurry up, hurry up. - So she stands up and she's got to like dust herself up. Thanks, I really gotta hem this or something. - Maybe you can like roll it up the bottom or something. - I don't usually run, I don't usually do that, I'm sorry. Then she's like, she's more deeply apologetic than she like headbutted you, like just like, I'm really, really sorry. - It's okay. - She's just really quiet about it. - I'm gonna step outside. (laughing) - Don't you, somebody go with him.

(laughing) - I'll go watch him. - Diana's gonna step outside as well. She's not having any part of this. - Um, Duncan goes, I can hem that if you want real quick. You wanna? - Yeah, that'd be great, thanks. - Yeah, no problem. Where's, is there a sewing machine? I mean, is there sewing supplies around somewhere? I changed it, that's sewing supplies. Is there sewing supplies around somewhere or something? - Uh, somewhere, yeah. - You know what, I got my adventurous pack, it's in there. I'm gonna leave you kids alone. I'll take the robe if you wanna. - What? - Yeah, she's wearing clothes underneath.

- Yeah, I was thinking. - Yeah, it's more like clergy outfit stuff. So yeah, she's gonna hand that to you. - Okay, I take it and go off into like a corner. - Okay, cool. - Yeah, what are you guys doing? Did you ever get things worked out with your friend? The one who was bitten? - Oh yeah, he's great. He was the pink faced one that walked out a minute ago. - Oh. - So he's fine. - I meant the tiefling. - Oh no, he's a turncoat, we're gonna kill him. (laughing) - And just look where shot comes in. Oh, I'm really sorry. Is, did he turn? - He just kind of like vanished.

- Oh, you know they have that power after they turn. They can turn into mist and all kinds of stuff. - Yeah, creepy devil stuff, right? (laughing) - Not picky devil. - Is there anything I can, is there anything I could do for you while you're here? I mean, getting on nightfall, you might wanna get some sleep. - Oh, that'd be great if we could sleep here. We were just, you know, stopping in. We're gonna say, "Hey, we're fine." And you know, "Hi." - It's the least we can do. Yeah, please. How's the army doing? - Oh, we're getting a foot in on it and we're doing good.

We're getting ahead of it. - And she's just kind of like nodding. Oh, okay. Is everyone safe? I mean, I know it was only a couple of dozen clerics, but I mean. - Oh yeah, they're fine. Like all the Warforged just kind of died. - She looks shocked again. I heard a lot of them fell, all of them? - Like most of them. - Oh, that's terrible. - Yeah. - Did you know any of the Warforged? - Our friend Jarek, but he left us. He's just gonna try and find help, but he looked in rough shape. I don't know what's gonna work out. - That's terrible. - Yeah. - Well, I'll let everyone know that you're staying.

If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know. And she kind of leans over and like hugs you. - Okay. - But again, it's like waist high. - Yeah. Little hair sussle, my bull finger. - Bull finger. - It's as big as her head. And unless there's anything else, she's gonna kind of break away. - Duncan chased her down. He's done with the rope. - Make a sewing check. - Duncan goes, miss, miss, miss, I have your rope. - Let's see here. You know what? There's no check for that. That's dumb, nevermind. I was gonna say that would be funny. - I just wanna make a cannon that he's an excellent sewer.

- Sure. - There you go. - That'll make you popular with the dwarves on top of playing a ukulele. That's being really good at home. - Put that needles in your back boy. - Yeah. So he brings it up to her and it looks great. And he's like, I added a couple like frizzy stuff on the bottom. I hope it's okay here. And he has a back door. - Thanks so much. - And she's gonna lean over and like, she's actually taller than Duncan. So she's just gonna like wrap her arms around his head and just like squeeze the hell out of him. - Oh, well, it's no problem. If you need anything else, fine me.

I'll be here all night, I guess. - I will. Thanks so much. That was embarrassing. I don't like the trip. I've been meaning to do something about it. I just, I haven't had a chance, you know? - It happens to the best of us. Don't worry about it. - And she is going to take off. So, okay, you're staying here for the evening. - Yes. - So that'll, you're gonna go ahead and get a rest and kind of recoup from the road. You can choose to stay in that, with the clerics in that chapel, or you can stay at that lovely little B&B that you stayed at the last time you were here.

- How many rooms do they have again? - The B&B, there'll be enough rooms for, I mean. - Okay, I thought they were only at like two. - Well, I mean, well, two available at the time. I mean, but there would be enough for like, maybe the guys to bunk together and then like two in two, two in each room, and then you could have your own room, unless you want to bunk with Thoril. That's totally up to you. - God. - I will bunk with his headless body if that's okay. - Wow. - I call you inward. - I get my own room. - So she wants Thoril's body, just not his body. (laughing) - Got it.

- Just off the head. - Here you go, Tyler. Boys club. - All right. - Thanks, Tyler. (laughing) - Did we really not see this coming? (laughing) - I want to stay at the bed and breakfast 'cause they had good food. - I'm not staying in a church place. Why would I do that? - Okay. The bed and breakfast is run by humans. I'm just gonna. - Yeah, I know it's unfortunate. Everywhere in the area is run by humans. Well, I'm not staying at Artemis' place. (laughing) - Well, Artemis. So yeah, I'll just go hide away in my rooms unless anyone wants to talk to me or something.

- The people who run this little B&B are gonna light up when they see you guys again 'cause the last time you were here, you kind of made it rain. You got the works. They were happy to cater to you. The B&B owner's wife helped scrub down Yanward. - Yeah, she did. - Now I remember that, yeah. - Diana's gonna see the humans and just sort of sigh. Great. - I wanna turn to Diana. Okay, group tradition, new guy boss. And then I wanna turn back at the counter. Hey! (laughing) - Yeah, my, let's see, 63 gold. - Oh, wow. - That's what's on there, okay. - Right. This will pretty much tap you if you get the works again.

Like staying here, getting three rooms, and then if you're getting your things cleaned. - I'm not paying for this. - Oh, yeah you are. - Okay, are there other people in the B&B besides us? - Just the owners right now. - Are they expecting more people? I mean, is it a place that people converge? - It's mostly, for the B&B, it's mostly people who are rolling through town and just looking for a place to save for something. - Can I like bluff or diplomacy my way out of things? I can do that. - I was gonna offer to play some tunes for our payment. (laughing) But if there's nobody to entertain, then it's pointless.

- If you recall, staying here wasn't that expensive. Like it wasn't, I mean, to them it's money. Like that's a lot of money. But I mean, it was like you guys got some food and drink and like they helped scrub you down. They pressed all your clothes and cleaned them and you stayed that night. And I think you only dropped like, I don't know, 60 gold or more. - Yeah. - So what if I paid for everyone except for Thorol, would that be? - I think Thorol will just get his own room 'cause- - You don't want a room with me? Come on. - I think at this point, Thorol doesn't want to be in the same room as Draconis.

- I'm pretty sure Jason said there was enough for her to be by herself and then us to go two and two. So. - Yeah. - And I don't wanna wake up to a flaming bed. That's the thing. You can go sleep in the chapel if you want. - I'll sleep in the same room as Draconis. - Oh, well thanks man. We're just pretty happy about it. (laughing) - So come on, these are really nice people. Now cough up some of those ill-gotten gains, devil. (laughing) - Dana's gonna give the money for her own room to the owners. - Okay. - I said pay for everyone, hop, hop, hop. - Just gonna look at him like, I don't have enough money.

You are the wealthy infamous heroes. If I do recall paying for a night in an inn should not be too much for you. - Duncan steps up and looks at Diana and says, "Diana, keep your money." And he throws 60 gold down and he goes, "Would that cover it?" - Sweet. - Yes, that'd be great. Would you like your clothes and everything clean? We can do that for you. - Give us, you know what, throw another 10 down. Give us the works. - Right away, sir. - Is going to look at Duncan kind of like surprised. Like she does, she's not really used to kindness and stuff. Just like not really sure what to do in that situation.

- And Duncan looks over at Diana and goes, "You know what, you've had a long day. Go rest up if you want. We're gonna be out here if you wanna talk, hang out with us, you're cool." - She got to you, didn't she? - I just kind of go, I kind of hold my finger up to you. - She's just like completely taken aback. Like she just not, just not expecting anything like this. Like she's just like, I think she'll, she'll just sort of sit down with the rest of you 'cause she doesn't know like what in the world the protocol for that is. But you guys are sitting down and chatting, she'll just do that to you since he's like offered it.

It's like, doesn't really know what else to do with yourself with that. - So I guess since we're all here, we should probably make some kind of game plan if we're doing hollow, like, right? I mean, we're gonna. - Oh, is that where we're heading? (laughing) - Oh yeah, we should. - I didn't realize you never told her. - So the dragon man burnt down Durn Hollow and then two guys that we were with, they're gone. And also we have to go and tell Durn Hollow, yo, be on our side now. So that's what we're doing. - She's gonna ask like turn to Draconis and sort of ask me, may I ask why you burned down the town?

- Yeah, I was saving one of the guys that's not here anymore. Apparently he's about to die. And the other one, they say that he turned their back. I still don't believe it, but I don't, I'm still, I don't know what to believe right now. I'm kind of just, I'm the same boat as you are. I'm just riding along for a little bit. - Your brother Malkus. Your brother Malkus is the one who disappeared on us. - Yeah, I mean, there was a fight, a fight broke out and I tried to save Ironhide, our Warforged friend. And accidentally, it accidentally happened. I burned the place down.

It was a whorehouse anyway, so I mean, come on. - Wait, so Jason, should I roll a history check to see how much I know about like Durn Hollow and like whether, like pull like slave trade thing? - Oh sure. - Okay. - To be fair, those women were perfectly nice women. - Oh, and he got an STD there. - Oh yeah, oh yeah. And that happened. - So do I know about like that it's like kind of like a slave hub, like a slave group? - Yes, you would know about the Nuval. You would know, that's a pretty, yeah. - So she's just gonna kind of like this Durn Hollow. Did the attacks on your group have anything to do with the slave trade that goes on there?

Her eyes are kind of narrowing, like she's not liking the sound of that. Like she's just like. - We fought a slaver. - It wasn't necessarily over the slave trade. It was more like fighting for our lives from a bunch of racists. - Mm-hmm, he kind of nods. If we go there and the slave trade is still in operation, would you be opposed to bringing it down by whatever means necessary? - I would. - I'm not sure. - I mean, it's kind of hard to be on the other side of that, so sure. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Wait, you're saying you will do that? - No, she's asking like if, would you guys be in for like, if there's like the slave trade still operational, like tearing it down and like just destroying that operation pretty much, like getting rid of the slavery.

- Oh, I thought you were asking if you would be against it. And I was saying, I would be against it. - No, yeah. - Sorry. I don't like slavery, but we're on a job and I'd kind of like to take care of this job and take care of Overwatch before, 'cause you're after Carter, right? - Correct. - If we go in there guns-a-blazin' and try to take out Durnhollow, we might not be in too good a standing with Winterhaven anymore, and then we might not have our big giant armies to go and take care of Overwatch. And that would kind of ruin your chance with Carter. So I think we might want to play it cool for now.

- She kind of nods and is like, all right, I can see the logic in that, but if I do happen to encounter any slavers, I cannot be held accountable for what might happen. It's a history with that sort of thing, shall we say. - Well, Devil Woman. Yeah, look at it this way. He's got a bunch, and I point to you inward, he's got a bunch of stuff to take care of when this war is over. Like there's dwarves and a whole bunch of crap that he's going through. And I pointed to Chronos and say, "Oh, he's a drug addict and we gotta take care of it." We have a whole long list of things we gotta take care of when this world's over.

So it's not a problem to just add slave traders to that list. - We're a new very low key group one. Let's keep things on DL. Trying desperately to be a new low key group one. - People keep throwing fireballs and we get lured with the concept of pants falling down. Besides that. - You get lured with the concept, really? - Takes time for people to adjust. - Okay, she's gonna nod. That's acceptable for now. - It's not good to get in a fight when we got so much other stuff that we gotta do. - Understood. Destroying the Overwatch is more of a priority. - They're the real slave traders, right?

Like they're the biggest slave traders. - They're the slave owners. - Yeah. - So my question is, I don't really know exactly what's going on. Is there some kind of army here that we're supposed to be like handling, dealing with? What are we doing here in Durnhollow? - You asking me or the party? - The party. This is me. - Oh, sorry. I thought you were asking Jason. - Oh, sorry. No, no, no, sorry. That was me talking to the party. - Oh, okay. From what I gathered from Nathaniel, the Overwatch got to them and we need to turn them back. Hopefully we won't have to fight or anything.

- Well, if there are Overwatch soldiers stationed there, I presume they won't be just letting us take it without a fight. - If we have to fight, we'll fight. - And what if the townspeople are not keen on us taking them after us? What I can hear the Overwatch took them over and may have done some good things for them. And while we, or you, when you are on your last visit, they're burned down the town. - Oh, don't look at me. - I'm not looking at Duncan. She says addressing the group as a whole. - We all just start pointing at Draconis. - I'm like, what, what do you want me to burn?

Burn the rest of it down? I don't know what to say. - She kind of nods like, okay, that might work now. - What I see is that if we get drawn on, we can fight back, but we need to try to handle, we need to try to see if we can get them on our side first. - Yeah, how does that kid know that we're actually gonna, this is gonna work? - 'Cause we're heroes. We get shit done. - Oh, okay. - Which kid? - The faith, Lord Nathaniel. - The, would Diana know about the stuff that happened, Jason? - Rule of history check. You would have just, you just would have arrived in Winter Haven.

- Okay, I know. - You'd know who the old leaders of Winter Haven were, and you'd know that they had a son. - Would I know that they were killed? - Again, you just arrived in Winter Haven. You probably heard, you would have heard rumors, but nothing concrete. - I've had heard whispers about there being an upheaval as far as Winter Haven's leadership, but hadn't really heard the details on that. That's interesting. - So we're just gonna ride in there and be like, hey, you should listen to us. That's our game plan, is that what we're gonna be doing? - Yes. - Yes.

- Sounds foolproof. I can't see what could possibly go wrong. - Draconis, is it? - Yeah. - You were the one with, I mean, no, I do not mean to insult you in any way, but perhaps if we are trying diplomacy, it might be best for you to wait a bit behind while we see if that is actually a feasible solution to the problem. Since if they see you as someone coming in to continue destroying it, it might not go well. - I can, I mean, if I have to, if you guys all think that's the problem, I can disguise myself where they won't recognize me. - Yeah, that would be best.

- That would probably be for the best. - Okay, I can do that then. - Okay, so we haven't had to see her do any diplomacy yet either, right? - Nope. - So we have no idea that she has such a high diploma. Yeah, she's so good at it. - Well, I mean, she, like, okay, like she might offer, like it's, like we haven't really discussed like who's gonna be taking the lead on this. - That's where I was going, so Duncan goes, now, Ynward, you've been talking a lot lately and you've been doing a pretty good job, but I think in this situation, I might be best for it.

- I might be able to help out if we're going to be talking. - Hey, you guys, you know what, guys? I didn't wanna do this in the first place, you can take it. (laughing) You wanna talk to the racist? - Well, we'll see how that goes, but I am certainly quite skilled when it comes to convincing people of things that would be beneficial. - Just like a grimness. - You were talking at the same time. - I said, just like a grimness and I nod at you. - Oh my God. - What? - The Malthus guy, yep. - I have no relation to him. - You act just like your brother, it's crazy.

- If we're gonna travel together, you gotta tell us the truth, it's silly, come on. - I suppose I cannot guarantee that I have no relation to him, but as far as I am aware, there is none to be found. - No T-planes have babies and there's 30 at a time, so. (laughing) - She's just gonna kinda stare at Duncan. - Can Thoril just calm this entire time? - Thoril what? - I said, can Thoril just spend this time face-palming? - Sure. I think we've gotten far, she's offered, I mean, we're making jokes, but she's offered to do the diplomacy part of it and that sounds good.

- T-planes have children just like any other race, one at a time normally. - There were just so many Malthuses, I thought that's, I'm sorry, I apologize. - Soon you bred like dogs, like you guys had litters. - Kinda just like staring at him, like not sure what to say to that. - Well, you know what guys, you guys have a good night, I'm gonna go see if they got some grapes and then I'm going upstairs and I am getting some sleep before we do this thing tomorrow. - Grapes? - Yeah. - Don't worry, it's kinda his thing. - One of his things, he's other things drugs.

(laughing) - We'd much rather the grapes than the grapes. - Good, I kinda nod, like, sure, okay. - With that guys, I think that's a pretty good time to wrap up today's episode. - Boom. - Thorold had his pants taken down, it's pretty good, pretty good day. Pretty good day. - I'm so happy both of us did it, like I was just like perfect. Show us what you can do, it's like okay, this is fun. - Thorold just punches himself and rips down his pants. (laughing) - Oh my gosh, you can't wait. - I didn't know you were so aggressive. Well Jason, you have a session in about 20 minutes, don't you?

- No, no, no, it's at seven but I still gotta prep for it and I haven't eaten all day and all that kind of shit. - Okay. - I get to do the pumice and pretty much, gosh. - You can't get the food, my friend. - I can't believe you handed me Dernhollow on a silver platter, like this is, I don't know. - This'll be interesting. - I'm handing you a silver platter, I'm handing it to you. - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) - I couldn't believe when you said that Nathaniel was standing on Dernhollow, I'm like this is perfect, this cannot be any worse. We really are just gonna finish it off.

- Duncan's just like, "Yeah, we can do Dernhollow." And like, and like Yennward and Thorold just like, "Mm." - Okay, well like I said, I can't do next weekend but if we wanna do the weekend after. - Okay. - Sounds good. - All ready. - We'll plan it out. - Okay, cool. - Group one page, thanks. - Yep. - Do it. - Okay. - All right man, you take care. - See you everybody. - Everyone take care, thanks so much for sitting down, you did great Kelsey. - Thank you. - Yeah, Kelsey was awesome. - Yeah. - Okay, talk to you guys later. - Okay, bye. - Bye, see you. (soft music) - Dannicarter is going to sit down at his desk and you can see he's very much visually like assessing you as a person.

I imagine you know why I summoned you. - I have a good idea, your highness. - You were a part of the now defunct Crimson Shield. Tell me about that. - Well, to start it was a good idea. I still believe the idea itself has merit. Unfortunately, the people that ran it, who were in charge of it, A, were traitors as we later found out and B, didn't use the right pieces for the job. If we were being sent in to do a stealth mission, they put together a team that was more suited for smashing things in the face. It was mishandled from the beginning and it was specifically to make sure we didn't do anything right.

Commander Grace was a traitor. He was in league with the White Ravens and wanted us to fail. Captain Tenbolt, when he was in charge of the group, was ruthless and said that initially the White Ravens were of no merit militarily and then proceeded to send us on an attack towards them. None of these made sense to me. I did my best as evident by the fact that I'm the only one to return everyone else. I have to believe was involved from the beginning because they have all turned. They're all traitors and I'm all that's left. I'm sorry I failed. Do you wanna know the one irrefutable fact of life, Marcus?

Everyone betrays you in the end. There's no such thing as unconditional loyalty. Everyone will stab you in the back just as soon as you are no use to them. Something to note is standing behind Carter. Now this is well behind his desk in the corner of the room. At first you mistook it for a suit of armor but it is just someone clad head to toe, face obscured and everything in armor, just standing there still as a statue behind Carter himself. Okay. You would guess that this was some sort of bodyguard or just someone to make sure that maybe just you in general don't try to stab him in the face while you're, I mean, Guy can't be too careful.

Understandable. But he has not flinched since the time you've walked in and he doesn't appear to be doing so anytime soon. And Carter's looking at you and he continues, there were some of my advisors that said I should hang you. They said that you would most likely betray us just like every one of your teammates that perhaps it was a long con. You were left behind just to see if we would promote you. I don't think that's true. What do you think? I think I have served the Overwatch to the best of my abilities and have done everything that was asked of me by my commanders who were traitors as long as I believed it was right for the Overwatch.

I have never directly disobeyed an order. I immediately upon having evidence of Captain Tenbolt's betrayal went straight to council and wanted nothing to do with his trial. I specifically asked that I not be involved in it because it wasn't my place. I don't know what else I can do for Overwatch except continue to be the best I can at what I do. I tried following orders at one point and my commander killed himself and half of my team left. I then led the Crimson Shield and had my entire team leave. In all honesty, if you had me hung as the problem, I would understand.

I would not agree with it, but I would understand because it can't look good for me that this has happened while I was around. But I will do whatever it is that you request of me, your highness. Another long beat. It's almost unsettling how he's just staring at you while you speak. Kind of like you're waiting for your boss to chew you out and he just sits there. But this is a guy with the power to kill you. So it's kind of. And after a few seconds, you're familiar with our new problem, I take it. I have heard things about what has happened. Something has happened to the Warforged.

As evident by the hundreds of thousands of pounds of scrap within our cities. The people for now are distracted with a large cleanup effort but that's not going to hold them at bay. They've already begun to talk. How can we keep the city safe without them? The problem is people are sheep. They need a leader. They need someone who's going to do something distasteful every once in a while to make sure that they can sleep soundly in their beds at night. I honestly think you have a good head on your shoulders, Marcus. I've read many reports detailing what exactly it is you've done for the city.

I think given the right tools, you can be a valuable asset. I'm going to promote you to commander. You'll be given an assistant and I'm going to task you with something very important. I would suggest you don't fail me. Have you ever been to Esterhold? No, your highness, I have not. We have a sizable military but I'll be honest without the war forged, the army in the North could march on our borders. I don't intend on handing this city over to anyone but we will need allies. We've always had a neutral peace with Esterhold but I think they can be convinced in joining us especially with our recent acquisition of Durnhollow.

If it appears as though that some of the cities in the local area are willing to work with us, Esterhold would fall in line. I want you to promise them that we'll station guards all over their city. I've heard stories of their crime rate rising. If we could promise to help quell that, then we should be able to recruit some of the local boys and men there. Can you do that for me, Marcus? Yes, your highness. When would you like me to leave? Immediately. (gentle music) [music fades out]