It Tolls for Thee

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(Coughing) (Cans clinking) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (Clears throat) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV Plus on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me.

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Our website is now back up and we are selling t-shirts. So go over there and buy them. And enjoy this session. Awesome. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table starting with Justin. I'm Justin Massey and I play Jarek Ironhide. And Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna Richardson and I play Jodzia Grace. And Kat. Hey, I'm Kat and I play Shee the Changeling Thief. And Izzy. Hey, I'm Izzy and I play Uno the Half-Elf Paladin. So, last session you guys accomplished a lot actually. You formulated a plan to get you from Winterhaven all the way to Esterhold.

And in about two and a half to three days you managed to do that. You slipped past a checkpoint after borrowing a cart from Artemis. Which I'm sure you're going to pay him back and give him everything he's looking for. You managed to get to Esterhold and you ended up fighting, well, let me see. That was Fi, Leora, and Una fought one of the Angels of Death for the right to resurrect people. So, pretty impressive. Yeah, it was. You guys came up victorious and Una used that power to bring Bree back to life. Everyone go ahead and roll a perception check for me please.

Jesus. You ass. I didn't do anything yet! 26. 26. 16. 20. Alright. Let's see here. Fi and Una. So, you're going to see, everyone's going to see Bree's body snap back to life. And she is going to draw in that sharp intake of breath. And it looks like she, at least momentarily, was in a great deal of pain. Or maybe she was reflexively like clenching up. Because if you remember, when you die and are brought back to life, to you no time has passed. So, instantly she was about to get gored by Ynward and then it pretty much lights out. She is going to sit up and give this short panty scream.

Like, still trying to get her bearings, still trying to catch her breath. And she is going to tumble off the side of this bed and start backing up towards the wall. Which side of the bed? This would be the right side of the bed. So the side of the bed that I was standing on when I rest her? I believe so, yes. Okay, if she's going to roll off the bed I'll catch her. And like, make sure she doesn't hit the floor I guess. Okay. So, go ahead and roll an athletics check for me please. This won't be a high check. 20. Okay, yeah. So, she is going to tumble off the side of the bed and you're just going to kind of catch her shoulders.

And she is going to use her feet to dig into the floor and try and back up towards the wall. She looks wide-eyed and panicked. And Leora's going to kind of come around to the other side of the bed where she is. And she's kind of got her hand outstretched, like approaching a wild animal almost. She's just going to kind of give a really reassuring tone. It's okay, it's okay. We're not here to hurt you. You're okay. And she's going to kind of gently ease in and try and touch her shoulder. After a couple of seconds she seems to, she can kind of feel, she's going to kind of spin around and see that Oona is the one who caught her.

And she's still kind of reflexively looking around the room trying to figure out what the hell is going on. And after a couple of seconds she's going to kind of, her breathing is going to kind of mellow out a little bit. And she's going to stop trying to push Oona back against the wall. And she's just kind of like standing her ground but very shaky, like trembling. Breathe. So you're just speaking to her? Yep, just like poking something kind of just like "eh, eh." After a couple of seconds she's... What the hell is happening? Oh my god, she's okay! Sorry, okay.

I was just like, I was terrified that she wasn't going to be able to speak or something. Okay, Oona will just like smile, like super relieved that she's like speaking and like being kind of herself. We brought you back. From what? You died. And you can see her eyes kind of dart around while she's thinking. Like you can see the wheels kind of turning in her head. Oh god, Yenward! Did he kill me? Yeah. You've been dead for about four days. Is he okay? He's fine, everyone's fine. Except Talia. But you saw that. Oona's going to sit down on the bed like she's exhausted.

That was a pain and then this is like emotionally traumatic so she's just going to like flop down. I don't understand, how did you bring me back? It's a long story. Are you okay? You look terrible. Thanks babe. No offense, I mean just... I mean I don't think I've ever seen you look that tired. I did just bring you back from the dead. You know, that's kind of a side effect. You... wait, you can do that? Yeah, I can now. She's kind of lean over and kind of wrap her arms around Oona. I don't think I can ever find a way to thank you enough. So you didn't want to be brought back, I was worried about that.

I didn't know I left, but no, I'd rather not be dead. She's going to turn around and give a huge bear hug to Liara too. Actually do me a favor and roll a perception. Everybody? Just Oona right now. Holy shit, crit. You've kind of noticed that Liara's been silent this entire time and she's kind of got her face turned away but you can tell that she's crying. Aww. And they kind of hug each other for a long time. And Brie's going to turn around and look at Oona. Oona? Yeah. Why do I smell like ham? That was the end character, all that laughing. Oona's like, just burst into fucking laughter.

We stuffed your body into a chest full of meat. We had to sneak past some people. I was in there too with you. We went through a lot of effort to bring you back. Thank you all so much. I owe each and every one of you. What happened to Ian? I'll look over at Jadzia. I think Jadzia would just like, kind of bow her head a little bit and point to one of the stones on her head. And she's going to kind of nod, "I guess that's over then. I don't... feels kind of hollow. I always imagined it would feel better or something." Does that make any sense? Really? You fucking...

We're just going to shrug. I've never had that problem before. And she's going to start looking around the room. So where are we? Just look over at Jadzia again. I suppose Jadzia would just kind of like, munch around. She's going to be... she's going to say, "I suppose this is the White Raven headquarters, though I didn't have time to tell you before." She's going to turn around and look at Liard, "Did you know about this?" And Liard just kind of shakes her head, "No, I... could you run that by us again?" This is where Darmok used to live. And I suppose it's mine now, but I didn't want it, so I instructed Jeffery, that's the caretaker, to allow the White Ravens to come and go as they pleased.

I didn't have time to tell anyone before all this happened. That's extremely generous of you, thanks. I would imagine a lot of people in the Evergreen would like to live in the city instead of the forest. Just tell them not to garden. And she's... there's this real quizzical look. Okay. She's going to bite her lip to keep from laughing or something. Could I do a history check on this place? Sure. Yeah, history. 23. You would know that it belonged to Darmok. You would also know by association a little bit about Darmok. Just that you've heard he was a powerful blood mage, lived in Esserthold.

Fairly untouchable law-wise. And pretty crazy. Don't mind if I do. That's not much knowledge, so I'm not going to really just pass it on. Because obviously they already know. Oh, I didn't know if you were going to try and fill them in on some shit they already... Hey, did you guys know that... Well, I guess... I'm rid of Darmok. Let me tell you. Like, he pretty much explained he was a tiefling. Crazy, powerful, and then also very crazy. On top of the crazy, powerful. Double-helpings of crazy. Yeah, this always helps. Bree's going to kind of look down at herself, and her clothing is soaked in her own blood.

It's dried, but I mean, like, it's... She reeks of meat products, she... She... I mean, she's kind of in a bad way. I imagine Jeffery could help her find clothing. Um, yes. Also, a bath would probably be appreciated. Where is Jeffery? What's he doing? He's floating around. Shouldn't there be like a bell pole or something that you can ring? Like, lurch? You rang? You rang? This guy's like a hundred though. Dude's... dude's pretty dusty. He wouldn't even hear it. He shakes the whole house, and he's like, "What?" The bell's huge. It's a fucking gong. Would you mind if I maybe took a bath?

I see no reason why not. Appreciate it. And she's gonna kind of, like, scamper off. I'll direct her to the least creepy restroom. I don't know if his restrooms are creepy too, I'm just kind of imagining they are. Just fingers, like just a bathtub full of fingers. Instead of soap, like he just rubs those. There's one where when you turn on the taps, just blood comes out. Oh yeah, let's direct her away from those. That's the blood bathroom. You don't want to go in there. Sorry, the blood bathroom. Get it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Oh, the blood. Liyar's gonna look to Ironhide.

What are we gonna do with you? That's nice. You're dying and it's bothering me. She's kind of blunt. Okay. It's not that she doesn't care, it's just like, "And now we have a new problem." What about this? The less popular one. Sorry, could I take this moment to go to the library and maybe research about that situation, by the way? You absolutely can. Alright, I am gonna go do that. You guys have your conversation, she's gonna go research. Okay. So, Ironhide was already told about the whole soul hat and... Yes. Alright. So he's just gonna tell her that, "Well, apparently there's a soul hat.

As long as she gets the final blow on me, like kills me, then my soul goes into her helm. And apparently they have some plan to actually put me into another body. I think it involves blood magic or something dangerous like that." Thales is just gonna shake his head, like this is... Like he's not a fan of blood magic, not a fan of that at all. He's gonna kind of speak up and ask anybody in the room, "Has Jadzia ever used blood magic in any capacity?" Good luck to you guys. None that I know of. I've never seen her use it. I only knew her for about five, six, maybe like four or five days, I think.

Because three episodes pretty much encompass one day. It was all just the defense of Winterhaven type of thing, right? Yeah. Alright. So it's only been like four days. Thales is gonna kind of give a grumble and walk off here. I'm gonna want to point out that as Ironhide, I don't like the whole blood magic thing. I don't like magic in general, but I also don't want to die this way. Do you want to return to a body and exact your revenge? The way I say it is, I would look nothing more than to kill Malkus and make it very slow. I'd like that to last for hours, but he knows how to hide, I imagine.

I fully support the death of Malkus Primus. Right now I just want to focus on getting a new body. Leor is kind of cogging on you. Wait a second. You want to hunt down Malkus and kill him? Yes. And from what I gather, that's because he's responsible for the death of the Warforged? Yes. How much of a head start does he have? Well, it was the same day, a few hours before we actually came upon you on the road. So he has a massive head start. Yes. He had more important things to deal with. No, absolutely. Does Bree know about all this? I don't think she knows that we want to hunt him down, no.

But I mean, she knows about... Him, yeah. Him using a device and then running. She knows that much. But she probably just wants answers from him. She knows what's on his head. What does she think about all that? She didn't really have enough time to really process that. Right after the fight, we went right to Aeon. And then she was killed by him. Well, let's get you squared away and if you want I can help you find Malkus. I would like that a lot. So Jadcia's researching, correct? Yes. Correct. Do me a favor and give me an Arcana check. 32. Almost a great... Gorgeous.

So Jadcia, you are starting to understand the basics of what it would take to transfer a soul from one place to another. It feels like it's going to take you some time to be comfortable enough with this. That you would actually try it on a living person. But from you leaving through Darmok's books, you feel like you might be comfortable enough to give this a try at some point. It could take days of research, but unless you were willing to practice on somebody else to speed it up, then you're probably looking at three or four days. You could put Aeon in a rat's body.

That could be fun. Wait, yeah, question. Could we try transferring a soul into a small animal as long as we have that animal in, for lack of a better word, custody? It would have to be something the same size as the soul that you're... So like a giant pig. It would have to be something usual sizes. It would have to be something unusual sizes. Dude, I want to eat some Aeon soul bacon. I'm all about that life. I'd be down for that. Then we could get a revenge. Roll for soul bacon. Well that just occurred to me. You own a house in a city that... oh, okay. That's a pig, that paragon.

Okay, so I'm gonna switch Oona and Valus. It'll be like Freaky Friday. That could be fun. Speaking of Valus, he's going to wander into the study here and join you. And he's gonna sit down in the chair opposite Jadzia. He's gonna let out this heavy sigh, and you kinda know what's coming already. Are you really thinking about using blood magic? There might be a lot of long pauses here. Sorry. Take your time. Jadzia I think is going to pause for a very long time, and then she's gonna put the book she's reading down. I'm not planning on making it my new profession, but there are extenuating circumstances that blood magic might help me with right now.

And that warforged helped us. It seems like we owe it to him to try. You understand you've never tried any blood magic before. And you're starting with something extremely advanced. I've seen quite a lot of it. What if it kills you? Jadzia's probably gonna go a little bit pale at that. And just kinda shake her head, like, she's not even gonna fantasize that that could be an option. She's... no. I'm going to go ahead and guess you've watched Dormak perform quite a few spells. So you understand that everything has a price. What do you think the price is for bringing back a living person?

Well, Una had to fight an angel of death. I wasn't willing to take that route for someone I really cared about. But the thing about blood magic is it doesn't necessarily have to be my blood. Or anyone I care about. Then whose blood would you be using? There are murderers and wraiths everywhere in Theria. We just have to find someone that we know is guilty. And then I can perform the spell using them. Someone we know is a horrible person and we can save someone who we know isn't. No offense, but we don't know anything about the Warforged. How do you know he's truly worth saving?

Risking yourself? That's a good point. It's not just about this one Warforged though. I can't really explain, but I need to learn blood magic. Something important hangs in the balance and I need to learn it fast. Because with the life I'm living I'm going to need it soon. And I don't have an option to learn it slowly. And there's really no safe way of going about it. If you feel like you can handle it, then just let me know what I can do to help you. Why do you know so much about blood magic? I've done a great deal of terrible things. For even worse people.

Dormak wasn't the first person I've seen use blood magic. I think Jodzia would reach across the table and take Valus' hand and I'll be as safe as I can. I promise. He would give Jadzia's hand a bit of a squeeze. And then just give this reassuring head nod. And then he'd just sit back in the chair and wait for you to continue doing what you're doing. But he's not going to leave the room. Alright, I guess after a moment of just holding his hand she'd open the book again, but she would put it flat on the desk and keep one hand on Valus and the other one turning the pages of the book.

Cooties. Go bathe with Bree. I was honestly considering it. I was honestly considering just blocking it and just disrobing it. Let me touch your hornhole. Oh. It's a scar now, right? She doesn't have a hole in her, right? No, there's no hole. It's not like a gauge through her. She can see the hanky in there. Just a little gut pocket. Oh. Gut pocket. That's the worst name. Yeah, it's a gut pocket. A sexual hole in the world. Gut pocket! That's a Tyler thing to say! Shout out to Tyler. #GutPocket. Like when somebody's firing like magic or something like an arrow or something like that there should be like a 1% chance that it could just go right through that.

That's disgusting! I would just like keep little snacks in it. You got pockets in your armor, I imagine. I don't think armor has pockets. Yeah. They have crotch pockets actually. Jason and I have looked this up. That's true. They don't have gut pockets. We need to get on that. If food just falls out of it, it's disgusting. Your breakfast just... oh sorry guys. God, that is so gross. I am so sorry. I just imagine her taking out her snack and being like, "Don't worry, tell me you'll get it back in a second." People around you just start gagging like, "Oh!" It just smells like the worst Billy Butt Lint ever.

Smells like something that was inside of you! Now that she's dead, we can joke. It's awesome. Serious times. Can Ironhide pull aside Liara for a second? Sure. He's going to open up with saying, "I'm not sure what happened hours ago with the..." I imagine it was hours ago. It was extended rest, right? It was the day before actually. No, yesterday. I'm not sure what happened in the vault yesterday, but it worried me. With what happened between you, Una, and Fie. The fact that we could have potentially lost three strong warriors. And knowing that there are a lot of people like Ian who get their power, both physical power and actual power of force and armies.

From cheating and bribing their way to the top. Daria is filled with those kind of people and we need as many of you guys as possible. That may be the closest thing I've ever heard you say that was a compliment. Um, thank you. And he's going to pause again and break eye contact and say, "I'm not exactly sure what happened with Trayus and his death." But, I feel as though I may have lost a friend, but you lost something more. And I wasn't actually here to prevent any of that. And I would like to think that if I was here, I'd be on your side. Trayus... Trayus was a good man and I miss him very much.

But, there's nothing we can do about it now. The best we can do is try and get you a new body if that's possible. And then we find Malkus. That is... I'm sorry go ahead. Because to be perfectly honest with you, I blame him for dragging Bree into a lot of this. If it wasn't for him, I don't think she would have ultimately been at Winterhaven. I... The odds are great that I'm not going to survive. Either from just dying outright before any of this soul transfer can even happen. Or something can go awry with the blunt magic itself. Even if we go somewhere else like Yemgar, the witch in Yemgar that we have experience with.

Even if we go to somebody so experienced as that, I think there's a good chance that I'm not coming back. And if that happens, I think you should have this. And I pull out the sword. And hold it in front of her. She's going to take this really deep breath. Because she lost this to you seventeen years ago. She's going to reach out and take it from you. You know this sword means a great deal to me, right? I mean, I don't see how you could know that, but it was given to me by someone special. But, in all honesty, you've had it longer than me. And I don't feel right taking it back from you.

Until you die, then I'm taking it back from you. But for now, just keep it warm for me, okay? That sounds fair. Although I gotta ask, how come you never use the runes? I'm going to tilt his head like a dog at this. The runes on the hilt of the sword, you've never activated it? What are you talking about? She's going to take the sword from Ironhide again. And towards the bottom of the hilt of the sword, she's going to give it a twist. And then kind of slap the bottom of this hilt. And these blue and purple runes are going to start lighting up on the blade of the sword.

He's going to take a step back at this. And she's going to offer it back to him outstretched. You know this can cut through pretty much anything, right? Oh. No, I didn't know that. I just kind of grabbed. Well, it's mainly used for hunting demons and certain types of monsters. Kind of thought it was a no brainer considering you were hunting vampires at one point. Right. Hindsight. Well, anyway, here you go. Give it a try next time you're fighting something. I think you'll find it might be a little easier. He's going to, I guess, turn it off and put it back. So at this point we have five more days or just four days.

Five. OK. All right. And I'm going to back away into the corner again. I go. Slowly stepping back. I was never here. I won't run my embarrassment. Tootles! Like a simple perception check on that sword could have solved that so long ago. Well, of course. You know, shit. [Laughter] Oh, God. I'm waiting so long for you to do any kind of check on that sword. It's like he's never going to do it, I guess. So that's fine. I'm going to do a history check on it. That's anything, dude. When you first got the sword, that was back in the days where you history checked dirt and trees and shit.

And I just put it on everything. So I kept waiting. I was like, oh, he'll do that on that sword. Nope. He literally just put it on the house that we knew about. Right! Well, I mean, yeah, you guys knew about it. But I mean, nobody knew about the sword. So why would I do a history check on that? That sounds stupid. I'm guessing Una's just been sitting on the bed for this entire bit. So at this point she's going to flop back down to the bed, just lie down and look at Liara. And just give her a big smile and a thumbs up. We did it! There you go. How you feeling? Like shit.

Well, that adds up. I gotta be honest, I have felt better myself. Yeah, I bet. So... what is the plan? I guess we just stay here until Jadzia knows more? We do whatever we can to help Sir Ironhide. And after that, we hunt that cowardly motherfucker down. How do you think that's going to go? Hopefully bloodily, but I don't know. But he's a coward. And he needs to die. Yeah, about that. What exactly happened at Winterhaven? All the warforged dropped dead in the middle of the battle. You were there for that, right? On your end at least. Yeah. Something similar happened in the Evergreen.

We were still defending the entrance to the cave and all of a sudden, one by one, they just looked like they were in agony and fell over. Speaking of, and it doesn't matter too much, I didn't know them very well, but the two who defected from Overwatch? Oh, uh... Malchus's sister and Mason. Yeah. They took off. It was shortly after the Overwatch fell. In the area, anyway. They decided it wasn't their fight. I know Poe talked to them briefly, but weren't having any of it. Cowards. Fucking cowards. Welcome. Well, anyway. Warforged dropped dead. Finished off the fight.

We went back to the castle. And we found this mage, an archmage, or something along those lines. And I spoke with him and he told us that he'd given Malchus some sort of ability, some sort of disease that would kill the Warforged. And that he'd left it up to Malchus to decide whether or not to use it. And obviously he used it. He fled the battle and left Bree's necklace behind in the dirt. So, let me get this straight. He comes to us, offering to help. He helps build an army to defend the city of Winterhaven. He recruits you, everyone gets there, and then he flees.

After killing all of the Warforged. Am I pretty much summing this up? Yeah, I mean I would have added a few swear words, but that's pretty much it. So he didn't know anything about Bree? No, he left her just as we were facing down a titan. He just left. The fact that he left seems like he doesn't give a shit. Yeah, I'd have to agree. She really liked him, didn't she? Yeah, she did. It's amazing. She had nothing good to say about him. For three years that I knew her. He shows up, and that same day she forgives him. I tell you, Brianna's smart, but sometimes she just has a blind spot.

And specifically for Malchus. I honestly don't know what she'd do if she was in the same room with him right now. Una's gonna look away, like kind of like bummed out. How did she react? Like, I mean, you found the necklace. Obviously he just left. It was obvious he wasn't captured or taken. She seemed upset, but we had a lot of things to deal with at the time. And then she died. We never really got a chance to talk about it much. Well, we still gotta deal with Ironhide, so we'll do that and we'll see how she feels about it. Okay, I should go check on Jadzia.

See what's going on. So, Una's gonna get out of bed and then like, crumple. And then like, slowly haul herself up and just wobble out of the room. Let's see here. So you're catching up with Jadzia. So, Valus and Jadzia are just kind of sitting in this study. I would imagine there's a fireplace there. I don't know if it's lit or not, but it's cozy. Cozy as shit. Are they gonna remove their hands when I walk in? I imagine that when you walk in, Jadzia's gonna jump like a foot in the air and like, pick up a book very quickly. Nope. Like a parent walking in on like, shit about to make out.

"Wow, this movie's really interesting! Oh my gosh!" "Book!" She's holding it upside down. Okay, do me a favor. Una, roll a perception check. 21. I would say that when Una walks into the room, she can catch like, some sort of fast motion. But not exactly, just kind of like, it's slightly suspicious. Like, "What? That's weird. You're just sitting in chairs. Why the fast motion?" But they're not like, leaning into each other or anything. They're in separate chairs. So it's not super suspicious. But yeah, I would imagine Valus would like, kind of jerk his hand back and...

"Books, yes." Yeah. He's not reading anything. So it's more like, it's a little more suspicious for him because at least you have a prop. Like, he has nothing. He's reading the table. "Find grain work." I just imagine him pulling out a dagger and like, carving his name into the table. Like troubled youth. He just spells it wrong. He's not stupid. He's just... I don't know, maybe he's like, yinward. Like, not stupid, but illiterate. He's not illiterate. Okay, Una's gonna like, wobble over the table and just... "Hey, give me your chair, bear trap. I'm exhausted here." He's gonna stand up and just kind of like, motion for you to sit.

He's just gonna like, fall down into the chair and like, give him like, a nod of thanks. He's gonna kind of give you a nod right back. So Jadzia, you think you can pull this off? I think so. I'm not completely confident. It'll take a few more days. How much longer does Ironknife have again? Five days. Five days. I do know we're gonna need to find a body. And from what I know about blood magic, the fresher the better. In fact, it'd probably be best if right now, it wasn't a body. That should not be a problem. Not in this town. Now, do you need to practice or do you...

What can we do to make sure that this is gonna go as smoothly as possible? I don't, after all this shit that we've been through, you've got a pretty good run. I don't want to fuck up. Is there anything I can do to practice? Like, should I roll to see if I can practice anything? Or... Well, the only way to practice is to try and perform the ceremony. So you would be taking one of the souls from your crown and trying to put it in a body. A dead body. Right. And again, the fresher the better. Experiments on mice. Human-shaped mice. Can we do it on an animal? Well, the thing is it has to be a medium-sized thing.

Much like the Warforged, like the rule was... Yeah, like a pig. Or a human-sized animal. Right. A dog and a cat. It kinda has to be a human. Or some sort of racial equivalent. So you could do an elf, dwarf, whatever. But I mean, it has to be... Like a person. It can't just be an animal. So what we need to find is a roving horde of assholes. We have to make sure they're completely irredeemable. There's a jail here. Yeah, but I don't think we can just saunter right and be like, "Hey, can we have a few of these?" The Temple of Kord sometimes helps out with executions.

Might be able to pull a few strings. If we do that, we're gonna get a guy who stole a loaf of bread to feed his fucking family or some shit. Can we do a streetwise check to see if there's any assholes nearby? Any criminals? Who has a good streetwise? Feet, probably. I have plus 14. Holy shit. You're streetwise as shit. Why the fuck do I... Why did I train in streetwise? I don't know! He wanted to be wise about the streets. This is from the streets, yo. I guess that kinda works for the backstory. Should I roll a streetwise? I'll roll it ahead. Holy shit, crit! I know all of the streets!

Bow before me! Do you want directions, dammit? Turn left at the gas station! Well, in Esterholt, there are really... There were a couple of names that would have been at the top of that list, one of which would have been Darmok. There's another guy who is from Esterholt but isn't currently living here. That would be Cecil. God damn, I knew you were gonna say Cecil! Are there any scumbags in the dungeon that I would know about? There's always a couple of scumbags in the dungeon. Esterholt does... Streetwise... That's a crit. You would know this. Everything can kinda be bought.

So, for a price, you technically could bribe a guard... And... Kinda buy a prisoner. Okay, I will relay this information to Jezia. I feel like Darmok wouldn't use a bank, so is all this money sitting around here somewhere stuffed inside a dead body or something? Cause he's creepy? He did have a reserve of gold. The problem is... His system for keeping it hidden is completely indiscernible to the not-fucking-crazy. So you would have to pretty much rip the place apart to find it. Is there any type of role that Jadzia could do because she lived with him for a while?

Like maybe she was paying attention to where the gold was going? Umm... Let's see here... What role would that correspond to the most? I think Arcana. I think... Maybe History. You know what? Roll an insight check. Alright. 16. Umm... You seem to recall that he would take money to a specific room... But you can't quite remember what room that was. You vaguely remember it being on the second floor? You can't quite remember where he would take off to. What's your button do? I was gonna say, can we ask Jeffrey? I miss that guy. Where is he? Is he dead? He's really old.

He could have just died. We wouldn't have noticed. He's been sleeping for three days. Geez. So freaking tired. Oh, I'm sorry. I was just looking at the chat about Cecil and... Oh yeah, that guy. Oh yes, I remember him. Are you looking for Jeffrey? Umm... Yes. Let's say yes and go find Jeffrey. Do me a favor and roll a perception check please. Eight. Eight. Perfect. You call out Jeffrey's name and you kind of wait for a response and you don't hear anything. Fuck. And you give a glance around and you're not seeing any evidence of Jeffrey having done anything recently.

If he's actually dead I'll feel really guilty. I think like, wouldn't that make sense? Like the magic link between him and Darmok is broken so... Was he only alive because of Darmok? Because that would be kind of... I'd feel like a bitch. Alright. Umm... I guess Josie would look back kind of worried at Valis and then head out to actually like kind of scour the building because he was the only one who was nice to her back when she lived here. Umm... Darmok's gonna follow you out. That's fucking creepy. I don't want him to follow me out. Whoa whoa whoa. Oh no. That sounded like Magneto.

That didn't... Yeah, that was too dramatic. That was Hugh McKellen. That was... Oh that's cool actually. Charles! Umm... Valis? Umm... Valis is gonna follow you out. He looks like a puppy. Keep calm. I think that's adorable. That's kind of fucking charming actually. Uhh... Umm... Valis is going to give her perception check. He's gonna look around. Umm... and when you get towards the kitchen area, Valis is gonna kind of stop and he is... He's kind of walking towards these large double doors. These big glass type of doors. And you can kind of see him stare out the back for just a bit.

And then in this really low voice... Jadzia. What's wrong? Umm... and he's just kind of motioned with his head out the back. And... you can see where Jeffrey is... Jeffrey has collapsed in the backyard near the entrance of the hedge maze. Oh god. She'd immediately run over. And... perception check him I suppose. Yeah. Exactly how dead is he? Umm... it would appear as though Jeffrey has been dead for the better portion of a week. Oh! Is anybody else curious why he went out to the hedge mage to die? Hedge mage? Your shrubbery is lacking! You're like such an asshole.

Hedge maze! The maze! Are you curious why he went out there to die rather than just die? Like where old people are supposed to? Yeah, really. I see your point, yes. After I fuck that sentence in the face. Hey guys, you wanna rez Jeffrey? Let's do this. She didn't kill him, she doesn't have a soul. We can do speak to the dead and figure out like where he'd like to be buried or something like that. Yeah, I'm not sure if Una came with us. No, no, she's... There's kind of a time limit on speak to the dead too. Is there? Yeah. There either is, I don't know about in the book.

Fuck you, okay fine. Sorry. Rules and shit. I thought it was just some sort of thing where you get to like just talk to dead people. In the book I'm sure it is, they give out fucking crazy shit willy nilly. Oh, I got pegasus wings. It's like okay, whatever. Just saying. Could she still try or is it like just a hard and fast no? Like if she rolled a nat 20 could she talk to him? No. Okay. I think Jadzia would just roll him over and kind of like put him in a dignified position and she just looks devastated. Valus is... Valus is gonna kind of crouch down next to Jadzia and kind of put a hand on her shoulder.

And it sounds like he's gonna say something but then he just kind of stops. And a few seconds go by. It looks like the elements have kind of gotten to the body and perhaps a wild animal or two. So it looks like he's been out here for days. And then after a few more seconds Valus does speak up. At least he didn't die tied to Darmak in any way. Jadzia is going to nod and can I do like a perception check to see if I can figure out how he died? Uh, like a fucking CSI type thing? Yeah, kind of. Like I know it's probably just because he's old but I want to check anyway.

Give me a perception roll. Well that six isn't telling you much. That is a critical miss. She's too upset right now. Yeah. As anyone would be. So I'm afraid not. I think she'd um, after quite a long time, she's just going to say I don't want to bury him here. Valus is gonna kind of give a glance towards the hedge maze. I don't blame you. Where would you like to take him? Are there any actual nice cemeteries in Esterholt? Oh yeah. Esterholt's a nice little city actually. It's not a bad city. It's just there's a couple of bad elements. Like any city. Okay, so just anywhere but here.

Okay. In the house, there would be a knock on the door. Kind of a wrapping actually. Like someone kind of pounding on the door. Sorry, everyone's dead. Come back later. Una will just wallow down there and answer it if there's no one like doing stuff. I don't know. No you don't. I guess Jad's using the back. It's a white raven's house technically. It's their responsibility. So Una's gonna answer it. Okay. It's a knife. No. Actually it's Craigmason from the temple. And when you open the door he's... he kind of lights up. I came by to check on you. I had a feeling you were attempting the resurrection today.

It's done. It went well. She's fine. You look terrible. Yeah, you're the second person to tell me that. Why can't someone just tell me I look fucking pretty for once? I'm sorry. I just look tired. I'm joking. I'm joking. Craig, it's fine. Oh! Can I come in? Yeah, of course. Of course. Just open the door. Let him in. He's gonna come in and close the door behind him. I've spoken it over with everyone at the temple. And although it's firmly within my power to grant this, I wanted to make sure that everyone was in agreeance. Please kneel. Do I have to do a check to know what the fuck is going on?

Is this something I might have heard of? You can if you like. Religion check. Religion or history. I'll do religion because I have a +2 to history or some shit. 21. 21. Okay. Normally, especially within the temple of Kord, kneeling isn't something that's done too often. But the only times that someone is asked to kneel is when they're receiving some sort of promotion or commendation or some sort of acknowledgement of something. Huh. Okay. Yeah. Una unu will kneel. Una anhalata. An acknowledgement of your bravery and your service to Kord. I would like to grant you the title of Kord's Fist.

Now, that is not an honorary position within the church. That's not like general or something. That is like a clever nickname to distinguish you from every other follower of Kord. That is something that will spread throughout any temple of Kord, any worshippers, anything like that. What essentially is happening is they are trying to turn you into the thing of legend within that religion. Damn. That you, you know, Una so exemplifies what they're looking for people who worship Kord to be that they want to award you for that. They want your fame to kind of spread.

Holy shit. Does that come with any money? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's right. You're still dead. I am flat fucking broke. Or, um, um, I don't know. Is there some sort of like protocol for how I'm supposed to respond or something like that? No, no. It's mainly just you can stand now. I just had to have you do the kneeling thing first. Um, Una's gonna like get back like really wobbly to her legs and just say like, thank you. This is, this is an honor. Um, Craig's gonna kind of lean in and hug Una. Yeah, yeah. She'll, she'll, uh, she'll, she'll hug him back.

Um, this, this may be a weird question and in the wake of this, uh, promotion, slightly ridiculous, but are there any cowardly scumbags in, in the dungeons that you might know about? Um, and he's gonna kind of cock an eyebrow to that. Maybe. Why? Uh, we need a lot of blood. It's for a good reason. Do I even want to know? It's for a good cause. You know me. I wouldn't do anything to harm, to harm anyone who I didn't think deserved it. Or, or if it was for fun. Or if they pissed me off. You know what I mean. Right. It's, it's for a good cause. We need to save a friend.

A brave friend. How cowardly. The more of a rat shit coward, the better. But honestly, you know, anyone who's a shithead, anyone who's completely useless to society. *sigh* And you need them here? We can pick them up, but delivery's okay. Let me see what I can do. Give me maybe an hour. Alrighty. Um, thank you. Thank you. The fewer family members this guy has, the less damage we do by eliminating him, the better. I don't want to hurt anybody. Understood. I think. I'll explain later if you really want to know. Uh, and he kind of gives a head nod and he's gonna get ready and get out of here.

Cool. That is an incredibly shady thing to ask of somebody. I know, but you know. Bring me a live person. Make sure they don't have a lot of family. I'm just gonna say the more blood the better. The more fat they are. She's a huge motherfucker with like gallons of blood. Please. We're gonna have a blood party. Blood war tree! Um, okay. Is Iron hiding the same room as V? Alright, he's gonna swagger up to him. He's gonna be like gnawing his head and like saying, "Alright, well, I see your arm there. You improved yourself, right?" I, um, my arm was taken from me and it only seemed sensible to get a new one.

So it wasn't by choice. The act that led to the loss of my arm was by choice, but I did not know that the ramifications would result to this. But you're enjoying it. Yes, yes, I... I mean, like it's stronger than your other weaker human arm. Uh, Jason. Um, pain through the arm, would I like, obviously if it got stabbed, would I feel the pain through it? No. No? It's metal. Okay, cool. Um, yes, it definitely has its perks. Alright, that's good. He's gonna, he's gonna walk away after you, like, just kinda like back up, saying, "Alright, that's good." He's improved himself, that's good.

I like it. Upgrade. Everyone go ahead and make a perception check for me, please. Iron hide shoots himself and dies. 17. Just for fun. No relation to the perception. Just for fun. Perception? Why do you always target? 32. Holy shit. Hey-o. Ah. 14. As good as it's gonna get. Good lord. I think I rolled a 27. Alright, receptive. Let's attack. Okay. Uh, Una and Liara are going to hear, they're gonna hear a noise coming from outside. Oh, shit. And, um, it's steady and getting louder. And it sounds like, it sounds like a whole hell of a lot of people coming down the street.

Okay, yeah, um, going outside. Uh, so you're just like stepping out on the front porch? Just kind of like looking? Um, yeah, yeah, just, just get out there. Um, I'm assuming at this point I have my armor off. Um, so just trying to look as like, you know, friendly as possible. Right. With all of your gang tattoos, yeah. And my fucking Yakuza. Shit. Yakuza. See this? It means not working. It wouldn't let you in any Japanese bathhouse, is all I'm saying. Got a neck tattoo that just says "cut here." Alright, coming down the street, um, appear to be six to seven dozen Overwatch troops.

Holy shit! Fucking Cecil. Um, and they are marching in formation right down, right down like Main Street, as it were. That's not what interests Una. What interests Una is the man riding at the front. Oh hey. Oh hey, oh hey. Oh hello. And that would be one Marcus Santa. Yes! We're not gonna go out and fight all these guys. Um, Una's gonna sprint back inside just like "Hey! Hey! Everybody!" I'm just holding the body of my dead father figure over here, but yeah, hi. Oh shit, did you guys come back inside with the body? I don't know. I don't think so. I was just gonna cut back and ask him. 'Cause Valis and Jadzi are in the back, uh, Liara would come when, Liara and Brianna would come when Una screamed.

Yep, so would she. Okay, so you got those three right now at least. Jadzi, what, I mean... I mean, when she hears screaming, I imagine... I imagine the back door was left open, 'cause that's not a, I mean, you see a dead body, or a body down, you didn't know he was dead. Until you wandered over to him, really, like, for sure. So I would imagine it was kind of an urgency thing. So I would imagine you might hear something faint, yeah. I think she'd probably, like, pause for like half a second, take off her cloak, wrap him up, and then go and see what's going on.

Huh, and Valis would follow you. So, having sprinted inside and forgotten that she's completely exhausted, Una's gonna, like, flop down the floor, and just like, pant in like, "Overwatch troops just marched through town, Marcus is leading 'em. We're gonna kill a bitch." Ira and I's gonna speak up and say, "Who, who is Marcus?" I'm gonna do a history check. Who's gonna say that? You just do a history check. 25. *gasp* Kat, you're brilliant. Aww, yes! We used fucking Marcus to bring back A-a-a-an! That's actually kind of brilliant. Um... I love it. 'Kay, how many soldiers does he have?

Like, three dozen, right? Six to seven dozen. Six to seven dozen. Yeah, I don't know. We could take him, I can get inside his body, seduce Carter, make him fall in love with me. I'll be queen of the Overwatch! I say, I say we create a diversion, and somebody stealth-kidnaps him. I was gonna say, are they headed towards us? No. Well, they were, and they appear to be, you can hear them outside. They appear to have just passed by, and they are wandering down the street. They weren't here for us, they're just here. That's weird. Or if they are here for us, then they don't know that we're at this house.

She's legally bound to this guy, and just like no one in the army knows. Carefully. They have shitty paperwork. Yeah. Like there's a computer filing system, and they just look stuff up. They're such nice good people. Good thing Jodzia never liked Marcus enough to like talk to him or anything. Um, yeah. Kidnapping sounds like fun. I was gonna say, guess who's stealthy? Yeah, it's V, and we probably need somebody strong too. Ah shit. Benny and Una right now. Yeah, Una's half dead. Well then it's Valus. Or Ironhide. Who has better stealth? *snorts* Not either of us.

Between the two of you. My stealth is plus five. What about Valus? Uh, hold on. What about Liara? That too. Ooh, well Liara would have- She would be the- Oh yeah. She would be good at strength, and uh, like she would be decent at strength and stealth. Well it's like kind of fun to see V and Liara fight side by side, like that's kind of hardcore. Just the two of them. Seriously. Okay, Valus has a stealth of three. How about Liara? Okay honey, you stay here. Okay. Ooh, Liara has a stealth of nine. Yeah, that- like she's gonna be good. Not great, but good at both of them.

Yeah, put her- I would- okay, like I would say she and Figo, and then- I'll do history checks on every one of the soldiers. Diversion to the soldiers. 'Cause Marcus is a coward, he will- Well we just send Ironhide out there and he can start telling them their own history. Like a fortune teller. You're an alcoholic! You're dead, he didn't love you. Your mother was sleeping with the postman. You're his baby. Um, what are we gonna do for a diversion? 'Cause Marcus is a coward, he's not gonna- he's not gonna chase down, probably. I mean, we could follow them and wait for them to set up camp, but even then they'd have like, people standing by, it's not like they'd all sleep at once.

Marcus doesn't know what Liara looks like, and Fi can change his appearance at will. Yep. We've- that might be our best bet, everyone knows that Rusty is in town. You can take on that appearance again. Yep. Liara, we might wanna put a cloak over her or something to make her look like Rusty's lady, maybe? Give her a hood so you can't tell she's got the eyepatch. We have plenty of dungeons, I'm assuming. So once we got him, we got him. Now, the real decision is which interior dungeon would you like to put him in? There's like a sex dungeon, a blood dungeon, like- Ew, why would you want to put him in the sex dungeon?

There's the sex and blood dungeon. The sex and blood dungeon. The blood and sex dungeon. Yeah, that's completed. Different theme entirely. Gross. I'll go make the dungeon really nice and pointy. Alright, lemme- lemme- I'm reaching out to Scott now. You're gonna put him in this call? If you guys go after him, yeah. Okay, well we haven't gone after him just yet. I know. I'm waiting to see what you- I mean, getting close to him is gonna be very difficult. Yeah. We have to come up with a solid plan before Scott gets in the call. Fee can change his appearance basically at will, as long as he gets a good idea of somebody.

So maybe somebody who would be trusted in town, maybe Fee makes himself look like one of the Overwatch soldiers and is like, "Sir, we have a situation over here, you need to follow me," or something like that. But Fee still switches in as the guard. How about that, guys? Does that sound legitimate? Yeah. I will remind you if this goes pear-shaped, not only are you outnumbered, but Una will be almost no use to you in a fight. We can run. Actually, guys, I'm actually double-thinking this. Oh, come on. Six dozen soldiers, though. Yeah. We can't fight that many.

And this is our home, like- Once they find out where we live, this place is useless. The thing is, if we can't fight that many in the open, we can fight that many in an alleyway that's two things wide. You would have 300'd this. Okay, cool. I'm just saying. If it's three things wide, we only have three people who can attack. Yeah, but I can stand behind people and take damage for them and stuff like that. We have two sick party members also. You're half dead. Yeah. Brianna's been dead for a while. I'm pretty sure she's- She's kinda fucked and I'm- She only gets a minus two to all her attack rolls.

Okay, but we're still three sick party members. There's gonna be- Is there any way we could track them for a while? I don't know. It wouldn't be hard to track them. We only have a small amount of time for Ironhide, though. We have a few more days, and that's just for him to have a soul removed from his body. I mean, an army doesn't seem safe. Is it possible to snipe somebody, Jason? With a sniper rifle, yeah. Okay, here's what I think we should do just for the game. Maybe we should talk about whether or not we're gonna chase him down in character before we make the plan.

Okay, let's do that. That way we know- 'cause I don't think Ironhide does. He has like five days- anyway, not to assume. But maybe that's what we should do. Okay. So we're really evolving character. I think I was just like, "Let's kill a bitch." I think Jodzia's still shaking up over the fact that Jeffrey's dead. Do we notice that she looks shitty? Roll a perception check. Okay, it's a pretty low check. 19. I'll roll two. Okay, you're telling me it's a low check. She probably looks like shit. I don't know. Crit one. Jason, cut that part out of the episode where she said it's probably a low check.

Yes, sir. I know. That's the joke. I know. Liara and Una are gonna notice that Jodzia looks pretty distraught. Okay. Una will like, sober up and be like, "Jodzia, what's wrong?" Jodzia's just gonna kind of like- she's gonna lick her lips and she just- she doesn't even have words right now. And then she'll just kind of whisper, "Jeffrey's dead." Oh, Christ. Liara's kind of like, gonna lean over to Una, "Who's Jeffrey?" The caretaker for this house. He was a very dear friend to Jodzia. I'm very sorry to hear that, Jodzia. Jodzia will nod and kind of say thank you under her breath and then look back up.

Who's with Marcus? I didn't see anyone else I recognized, but about six, seven dozen other soldiers, I guess. Come on, let's kill him. Let's kill him. Let's kill him. You know he deserves it. He's evaded it for so long. Let's kill him. Won't the army just- the army that is with Thor on the rest, won't that group take care of the army? Do we have to risk our own lives right now? Una, you can barely stand. She's gonna kind of motion to Una's legs, which were wobbly earlier. Una's actually on the floor at this point, so she'll stand up. What are you talking about?

I'm fine. She'll stand up. Is she gonna have to do a bluff roll for that? It's like, "I'm fine, guys." It's that scene from First Class where he stands up. And she's like, "If I can stand, I can fight, and I can certainly kill Marcus." I think for Fee, he would secretly plot in how he could go and get Marcus. We know that Marcus is responsible for killing their families, right? Yes. Okay. Una's just gonna go over to Jadzia and put a hand on her shoulder. Kind of put a little bit more pressure than maybe she should, and it's because she's trying to steady herself.

She's gonna go, "He killed your father. He's responsible for Flo's death. We can use this man's cowardly, loathsome blood to bring Sir Ironhide into a safe body." Is that out loud to everybody? Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna speak up by saying I'm not a knight anymore. No, you are. Not of Winterhaven, no. After he tore the tavern off, he looked at that like a knight of Ian. That's what he looks at knights. Somebody that is right up there with Ian, just under him. Somebody that would be referred to as Ian's knights. So he doesn't want that anymore. He wants to make his own way.

Is that why it's so significant to kill him right now? Because he doesn't know. Ironhide doesn't know. What's going on with Marcus? Brianna's gonna kind of step forward. He killed Patrick Grace. Or was responsible for it at least. He killed Fi's mother. He would have killed me if he got the chance. I really don't know what he's done since Poe left the Overwatch. I know that he is an awful man who deserves every bit of what you want to give to him, Una. But do you really think it's the best idea to attack him in broad daylight? Una's gonna like, just kind of like, her shoulders are gonna droop a little bit.

Like she's showing how exhausted she is. Maybe not now, but I can't let him leave this city alive. Maybe we should rest. We should try and help. Ironhide before, but my god, we can't let this man get away. He'll slip through fingers. He'll wriggle under doorways. He'll do whatever he can to escape because he's a cowardly little shit. If he gets away from us now, I don't know when our next chance to just brutally murder him will be. And my god, does he deserve it. Let me see if we can find out why he's in the city. Maybe we can find out how long he'll be here, alright?

Yeah, Una's gonna look at Fi. Like, you okay with that, sneak Fi? This is a good chance for some revenge, Fi. My plan for Fi would be that he would go around the house that we're in now, having a look. See if there's anywhere where we could restrain Marcus and keep him. Oh no, not in Darmok's house! Yeah, and then he would go out and see if he can find out where they're staying and stuff. And then once he found it, he would put on his Overwatch garb and go and see if he could go and find Marcus and chloroform him. With no backup? He's pretty pissed at Marcus.

This sounds like the death of a character. Yeah. I mean, this is one bad role. He wouldn't take a stupid risk. If Marcus is in a room with six guards, there's no way he's gonna go, "Oh, hang on, okay, chloroform Marcus and then kill the guards." But yeah, if he could get with Marcus alone, then he would chloroform him and then see if he could figure a way out. I wouldn't say... He can always leave Marcus where he is. If he can't think of a way to get him out, then he could always leave him there and try and come up with another way to get him out. I like the furious typing to Scott.

I've been hearing it every once in a while. I'm sure you're just going, "Dude, you have to hold on because we're still not sure." Yeah, I was like, "They're debating him." I think he knows the big deal. They're being so evil. I think it's a good idea. Just poison him, try and like... It's gotta be slow acting so that he'll fall asleep and then bam. I thought it was just gonna be poison that kills him outright. That sounds a bit queener. So are you trying to knock him out or kill him? Knock him out. It would be nice to have his body for blood magic. Yeah, that is the...

I mean, if we kill him, we can still use... Slow acting poison. Like a roofie. That's not a poison, really. Shut up. It's a sedative. So for Fee, he would go and get Marcus and then bring him back to the house and then go, "Una, I have a present." With a big bow on his head. Oh, here we go. We give him a diuretic first. You know what that is? I just think it's a good idea. We mix a diuretic with a sedative. So he's like, "Oh my god!" in this shit. He runs into the bathroom and then passes out and shits himself and then we drag away his body. Why do all of our plans involve poo?

Do you wanna handle his shit covered body? I don't give a fuck. I will beat the shit out of his shit covered body. The literal shit. I will beat more shit out of it. I will punch him until he poops himself more. Is this still a group thing or is this a Fee thing at this point? It's kind of like, did the group decide it's not worth the risk and now Fee's going alone or is Fee saying out loud, "I'm gonna go no matter what." Fee wouldn't say this to the group. This is like internal monologue of, "I've gotta go fucking get him. He has to pay for what he's done." So at this point, Judzia's already brought out the chloroform and she'd probably just put it down when they decided not to do that.

Yeah, and it's gonna be like, "Okay, we can wait. We can find out other stuff, but we need to kill him soon." I was already planning on... Judzia's not gonna sleep. She's not gonna sleep in this house. She was gonna stay in the library anyway. So Fee would have to sneak by her is what I was getting at. Well, where would the library be in relation to the chloroform? Oh, she'd just leave that on the kitchen table. Delicious chloroform for everyone. It looks thirst quenching. It compliments any... Well, hi Marv. Damn how thirsty. You start down on it and then like...

Just fall to the ground. Imagine I would ruin you. You would drink chloroform? Yeah. I'm pretty sure you'd die if you drank it. Yeah. Um... Okay. So I guess we're all just kinda like, "Fuck. Both kill. Okay." I guess we're all just gonna take a nap right now then. Yeah. Una will go up to Judzia and be like, "If we can't deal with Marcus right now, why don't we do something for Jeffrey?" I'd like that. I just... I've never had to deal with anything like this before. I don't know where to bring him. Do I have to do a streetwise check or something like that to know where the nice cemeteries would be in Estherhold?

Sure. I just live here for every year, so... Oh god, a critmas. Still 15 though. So I probably know. You'd know where the cemeteries are. Yeah. There's one for the poor people. The people who can't afford fancy mausoleums or anything like that. And then there's one that's kinda set up for a more well-to-do. What's it called? The well-to-dos. Yes, that's what it's called. The cemetery of the well-to-dos. Has somebody chipping their hat. Is it the monopoly man? On every creature? Like those angels? Like little X's for eyes? Ironhide's gonna bring up... It seems like it's pretty friggin' dangerous to go out right now.

If we go out some other time, maybe I can spring for the proper burial. Kinda like bribing her at this point. We can do it. It's coming on evening pretty soon. We can do it then. No one's gonna notice a small, dark group of people marching towards the cemetery. It's not in the middle of town, is it? It's not in the middle of town, right? Who puts a cemetery in the middle of town? No one. Hey, all the dead people, they're right here. We have parties on top of them. It's a morale breaker every single time you wake up. So what's the cemetery called? Oh, it's called Serenloft.

Serenloft, okay. So Una will just kind of lean down to the dead sea. There's a cemetery, it's the nicer one, called Serenloft. It's on the outskirts of town. We can bury him there. What time is it right now? Let's see, this would be... It's all time. This would be later afternoon, like you'd be heading towards evening. Like after, I would imagine, this was kind of an all-day event, kind of resting. Something fell, sorry. I don't know what that was. That's okay. Oh, it was my fucking cat, sorry. Your cat fell over? My cat was hiding behind my computer and just knocked shit off for no reason.

So by the time that we prepare his body for burial, it should be late enough for us to leave the house quietly. So are we going to dig him an unmarked grave? Is that our plan? No, I'm sure they have graves that are ready if we just pay the grave keeper or something like that. That's not really how graves work. That's not how graves work. Can you take that skeleton out? We got a new guy here. We gotta suck this up. We enjoyed that. It's like an extended time parking lot. You just take a ticket. He's a finder's keeper, right? That's the rules in theory? Well, just find the nicest mausoleum, get the guy out of there, put him in, problem solved.

That's a nice way to remember something. And now do we have to talk to the grave keeper or something like that? Does he do some shit? Well, I mean, it's kind of something you have to set up with the city. It's not something you just... It's like real life. The governor's fucking house is full of fucking Overwatch people. Well, this wouldn't actually fall on the governor either. You don't go to the top and it's like, "I have a body." Okay, I'm sorry. Where's the civic center? You might have to go to office hours at the... Where all the inner city kids go to play basketball?

I don't... I don't know where you actually go to... Where's the coroner then? I don't fucking know where you go to make hero plans. You might have to actually go to the grave... Portition? Because I'm pretty sure all you have to do is go to an undertaker. Yeah, like the place there. I appreciate you don't have to register your dead body like it's a fucking marriage. Well, I'm not saying you have to fill out paperwork. I'm not asking for the bureaucracy of it. You were literally just going to show up like it's dinner without a reservation. Like you were just kind of dumb.

This is Theria, motherfuckers. It's one of his bureaucracies even at the thing. It's not bureaucracy. It is like common sense though. Like it's, you know... I plan like, we're just going to throw this body down on his table. It's like, "Dude, he's got to get buried, man. What's happening?" Does anyone know what to do with a body that you like actually respect? Besides bring it back. Yeah, Una's never had to deal with that shit. I mean the last person she buried was when she was eight, so that was probably taken care of for her. Right. Okay. How about we do this in the interest of saving some kind of time here?

Because poor Scott, in the interest of saving time, let's just cut him up. Like a diced pizza. Like a diced pizza. That's the way mama used to make it. Cut that out, please. Don't get that out. Leave it. Hello, Scott. It's just diced pizza. So in the interest of saving time, let's spend ten minutes making terrible jokes. At a friend's expense. That's the DNR way. Let's say that you go to the graveyard and there's someone there you can speak to and they, you know, in the interest of saving time, let's say you help them dig a hole. So who is going with Una and Jadzia?

Thallus is, obviously. To the graveyard. Yes. I'll go. So who's going to try and stay behind and get some kind of rest? Yeah, he's going to stay behind as well and just like snoop around the house. Okay. I got this, guys. You just kind of have fun. You should do some rules to see if you can find anything else to help you because his house is filled with terrible things. I'm sure there's something else. Awful terrible things? Like a pulley system in the bathroom, in the bedroom? You just start preparing by acting out that scene from The Emperor's New Groove where Kronk is like sneaking out with the body.

Sorry. You could just pretend like we're dancing with him. Yeah, Fee, go ahead and give me a perception roll just to see what you see like snooping around this house. Can I do Dungeoneering as well to see if he's set any booby traps? Sure. So 22 perception, 17 Dungeoneering. You're not getting the sense that this place is really booby trapped. Although you have found a couple of hidden nooks and crannies. There will be a bookshelf that isn't quite a bookshelf but a door. Behind the door you'll find... Well, behind one you're going to find an assortment of various lengths of rope.

Okay. And it looks like this rope has been used before. Just kind of eyeballing it. It looks like someone or something has been tied down. The center sections of rope appear to be soaked with blood and... ...towards the end of one of the lengths of rope it looks like someone may have tried to chew through their restraints. But that was probably one of the bookshelves. In another nook you find various alchymal type stuff. So you found the ingredients to make quite the useful sedative. You have also found the ingredients to make a very effective and fast acting poison if you wanted to use that.

Okay. Would I know how to make those? What would the check be? I would imagine that's a history check. Okay. Plus five. Twenty one. You would know how to make both of these. Okay. Would that take long? Not at all. Yeah. I will mix those up if possible. Okay. And you have done so. Is there anything else you'd like to do with this stuff? The rope. Was the majority of it fairly usable? There was only a small section that was chewed, wasn't it? Yes. Bloodstained, but usable. Yep. I will take that as well. Alright. And you are going to try to stealth out of the house, I guess?

Or just leave the house? Yeah. I will stealth out of the house. Twenty five. Let me do this. Making your way out of the house, which way are you going to be going? Are you pretty much sticking to alleys and things like that on your way to... Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's catch up with Jadzia and everyone else as they... And the rest. As they kind of put Jeffrey to rest. Is there anything you wanted to say or do while you're doing that? I think Jadzia would probably just be really quiet and just kind of curl into herself. Una will pat the dirt over the grave and just say thank you for doing what you could for Jadzia.

Thales is just going to put his hand on Jadzia's shoulder. I think as soon as Thales does do that, she'll kind of curl into him and set her head on his chest. Like she's trying not to cry, but just in case she does, she's hiding her face there. I guess Thales would kind of move his hand from the one shoulder to the other and it's kind of just putting his arm around her. Which is pretty much the most public affection he has shown anyone in quite a while. Is Thales looking down at her or is he just kind of sitting there? He would kind of tilt his head down when she put her head in his chest.

So almost kind of like... almost kind of nuzzling her. Ugh. That is disgusting. Una's just going to raise an eyebrow and smile a little bit. And then she'll just kind of turn and walk back towards the house and give him some privacy. Privacy for what? Like, just a moment of quiet without, you know, una eyeing them as they nuzzle. He's just going to keep the army on his fucking grave. They're nuzzling, I don't know. So wait, what's... They're just under social cues. They're gross touching. They're touching, they must be about to fuck, I gotta go. Right next to this dead guy.

Is everything situated now? Like we found the guy, he's going to dig a hole and put the body in there. Or are we just doing this... No, it's done. Like he's buried. We just kind of skipped ahead just to avoid the red tape. You take a really nice spray of stone, by the way. Really nice one. With flowers and shit. How far away is this place from the house? Like is it a good walk? It's like a nice walk, right? Yeah, yeah. It's a decent walk. That una's pretty weak right now. Like walking wise. He's going to put her arm around her like, "Come on, let's talk for a while." But also kind of support her heavily.

Like also picking her up. Yeah, she's not going to make any pretenses. She will totally lean on him. It's been a long day. Yeah, I'm a robot so it's not affection. So you don't want to be a... You're not a knight anymore? No, no. Not anymore. Like I don't consider myself a knight. Back when Lord Padraic was around in this. But not with Aem. That place went to hell like really quick. Yeah, yeah. I saw that. What should I call you then? Jarek's fine. Ironhide. Doesn't matter. I'll probably be dead anyway soon. We'll get you back. I don't know how Warforged worked much but something to do with souls in metal, right?

Yeah, and wood and stone. So did you ever... I mean your soul must have come from somewhere before. Do you remember anything? All I remember is practically being turned on and being told what to do. I had a job. Keep the peace. And I did that. Ironhide's gonna do a bluff check. I'm going to find bluff check first. And he's gonna say to Una, "I feel... Right now I feel better than I have in a long time. I feel like I have another two weeks on me." And that's an 18. That's probably not very good. Yeah, my passive insight is 24. Yeah, so you probably see right through that.

Yeah, Una's just gonna kinda grin. She knows why he's saying that. Just say, "Don't bullshit me, man. Come on." Can I imagine he coughs up his own butthole or something like that? "I don't read that anyway." Why would they design the Warforged with a butthole? Well, they put one in there randomly. It's like, well, that's in there now. Just put it behind a year or something? Yeah, just like, "We got all these spare buttholes." "Why'd you put that in there?" "Because we can." And he's like, "Look, what the fuck you gotta do, huh?" [laughs] Okay, so he coughs up a butthole, and you cull him out on that.

Yeah, just like, "Don't bullshit." I'll be fine. Or I won't. We're gonna take care of you. You only have a few days left, and we're gonna get this done. As long as you can promise me, if I don't make it, that you can at least hunt down Malkus. Give him a nice send-off. Is there anything you'd like me to pass on from you to him? Some words? No words. Just mutilate him in some way. Like, some part of the body. Just mutilate him. Before killing him, of course. That I can do. I promise you. If you don't make it through this, I will hunt down Malkus. And boy, will I mutilate him.

And then she will hold out her hand. I know he's got his arm, but the other hand. Alright, I guess handshake then. Cool. Cool. Just head on back to the house, I guess. Let them fuck. In front of that guy's room. On top of that group. I don't know about you guys, but funerals? Hmm. Nothing gets me harder than a funeral. Should we check in with Fee? We should check in with Fee. So, Fee, give me a stealth check, please. Okay. Thirty-one. Okay. Twenty-six. Okay. So, Fee is stealthing, kind of making his way silently through the city. And he is just outside of the mayor's mansion here.

Now, do me a favor and roll a perception check there, Fee. Twenty-two. You are going to pick up the faintest sound behind you. And it's not something that's... It's not a huge noise or anything like that, and most people would probably have either ignored it or wouldn't have heard it at all. Okay. How, like, can I... Okay, what sort of noise is it? Or is it just like, "Hey, noise." I can't tell what sort of noise it is. It could be either... It could be misinterpreted as just trash blowing throughout the street. Or maybe even footsteps. I'm gonna quickly investigate that.

So, kind of looking back down this dark alley, Fee can just make the shape of a frail-looking girl who is going to come stepping out of the shadows. And Brianna has followed you from the house. Okay, I walk up close to her and say in a hushed tone, "What are you doing here? You need to get your rest. You've been through a lot." What are you doing here? You just took off. You didn't tell anybody where you were going. I thought the plan was we were going to wait to see if we can get Marcus alone. Yes, that is the plan. And I want to see if I can get some more information out.

It may be useful for the group. Then you should have someone with you. I mean, look, we've made it this far and you didn't even... You didn't hear me? I'm plenty quiet, don't worry about it. But if something goes wrong, you're gonna need someone to help you out. Besides, if... I haven't hit anything in days. The plan is not to hit things. No, no, no, no, I know, I know. But if we had to hit something, it would be nice to hit something. So, he's gonna pause for a while. And, um, Sy, um, so, okay, you know the situation. I mean, there is six, seven dozen Overwatch soldiers in the area.

We've just spent a lot of time to bring you back. I appreciate your offer. But I would not be surprised if you died through this. Una would resurrect me just to beat the shit out of me. I'm not gonna pick a fight. I'm not... I don't intend on getting caught. We're both gonna be quiet. We're both gonna do everything we can do to get in and get out. Besides, I don't think there's gonna be six or seven dozen troops stationed together. It's... it's... it's night time. They're probably... some of them are sleeping, some of them... I don't think they plan on fighting anyone while they're in the city.

They may not plan on fighting anybody, but I've... I've been in a squad with Marcus. He... he does not make a habit of leaving things to chance. I'm not leaving you, so you're just gonna have to get used to this. The longer we stand here and argue, the bigger chance someone's gonna see us. Fine. But it's not my fault if anything happens to you. I don't intend it to. But you... you have chosen to follow me. Nothing's gonna happen. Let's just get in and get out, alright? Okay. Okay. Sneaking up to... okay, how would you like to try and break into this place? Like slip through a window, or...

Are you planning on trying to scale the building? Go in the second floor? Like, how... how would you like to try to do this? How... how large... how large is the... the building and the grounds? This thing is... is like three stories tall. This is a pretty large building. It would be pretty easy for someone to sneak into a building this large, to be honest. It's kind of hard to look... to watch everything. Okie dokie. Like, kind of like, what's a... what's a... like, how much bigger, as in like, the area that it takes up, would it be from like a regular house?

Oh, much bigger than a regular house, obviously. But I mean, this is... the rest of the houses in Esther Holt, even the larger ones, this puts them to shame. This is a... this is... the grounds that surround this place, it's a huge yard. So, like I said, this would be fairly easy. The thing is covered in trees, though, so you could get up to the house fairly easy without anybody spotting you at night. There are guard patrols, but they are carrying torches. So they're pretty easy to spot. Ok. Walls around... walls around the grounds? It's more decorative than anything.

It's like waist high. Ok. What time is it at the moment? Like, roughly? This would be about, let's say, 8.30? Actually, how long would it take to scout around the entire... the entire outskirts of the grounds? Not too terribly long, maybe 5-6 minutes to really give it a good once over. Ok. Yeah, that's a plan, just to go around everywhere, make sure we know any... just get the general layout of everything so that we can have a couple of routes where we might need to... if we had to run. Yeah, places where it would be the shortest distance to run off of the grounds and the most cover and stuff like that.

So, taking the time to do that now. Again, it's very easy to, from this distance, evade guards with torches. They're pretty... they stand out. So, after 5-6 minutes, you've kind of given the place a once over and you're getting the feeling that there are two really... your two best options are either to... There is an easily scalable portion of the house where you can slip into the second floor, there's an open window. Or you can get into the first floor but you'll have to kind of jimmy the window open. But it doesn't appear as though there's a... there's a guard patrol that goes past but it appears to be like every 4-5 minutes.

Okie dokie. I think we'll scout out the one on the second floor. Alrighty. Ok, do me a favour and make a stealth check please. 19. Ok, and Bree... 19. Both of you make it up to the wall here and there are... there's one of those kind of ivy thatch things that you can easily scale right up to that second window. So if you want to go ahead and make an athletics check, plus 2. That's 19. Oh god, that's a crit one. Oh shit. Ok, she just rolled an 11. So... let's see here. Can you make another athletics to try and like catch her or support her? I crit one that. Yeah.

So... ok. Fie trying to... Fie trying to scale this thing, both Fie and Brianna try to shimmy up this thing at the same time. And the thatching starts to give way. And both of them decide that it would be a better idea to abandon it than to continue climbing up. So the second floor is now out. I will make a note of that and we will go investigate the first floor. Umm... go ahead and make a stealth roll for me please. Yep. 31. 12. Stealthing around to the side of the house. There is indeed a window that can be... Man, there is indeed a window that could be jimmied open and slipped through.

The problem is making your way there. Brianna is going to accidentally kind of bump into this potted plant. Knock it off of its ledge and it will shatter on the ground. And for a split second you both kind of make eye contact with each other like "fuck". And you are going to... go ahead and make a perception roll for me please. Yeah. 13. Lute. 13. Both Fi and Brianna hear nothing. As they stand there for several seconds. They are just waiting for something. They figure someone had to hear that and neither of them hear a thing. How far away are we from the window now?

You are right next to it. Oh okay. Can I look through the window? Yeah please. Make a perception check. 14. Looking through this window... ...Fisi is nothing. There doesn't appear to be anyone in this room. It appears to be some sort of... like a den or a study? Okay. It looks to be pitch black. No one in it. Okay. Let's open the window then. Alright. Go ahead and make... ...make a thievery check please. 22. Okay. 22 you will kind of pop this window open. And it will swing inward. All of a sudden both Fi and Brianna hear noises. And that is the sound of guards closing in on your location.

Now if you would have heard them earlier it would have been pretty easy to slip away before they got to you. But sadly that is not the case. If you want to go ahead and place your character right in this region here please. Let me get Brianna. Alright. Let me add you to the initiative. And Brianna and let me get you some guards. Now I'm going to give you the option here before we roll initiative and do all that. These four guards are going to round the corner and they're going to have their weapons drawn. And they've got the drop on you so it's more things like...

Alright. Let's go. Just surrender and there doesn't have to be any trouble here. And Brianna is going to kind of look to Fi. Oh god. Okay. And she's going to kind of... Like after a second they're kind of waiting for you to give an answer or draw a weapon or something. She's just going to kind of... There's only four of them. Okay. Yeah. Fi is going to take a small step forward and she'll be like... "Ah. Hey. What can I do for you?" That's not even a bluff. That's nothing. That's just more balls. The lead guard is going to say "Put your hands up now." Put your hand in his chest.

Um. He's going to go "Is there something wrong?" Sorry. I was reading the sky. Damn. Um. The guard is going to speak up. "You're trespassing. Obviously. This is private property. Put your hands up. You can answer some questions. If we think that this was an honest mistake then we'll let you go." Okay. Fair enough. Are you going to be making the questions? We're going to take you to someone. Just put your damn hands up. And he's going to step forward. Um. He's going to say "Anyone I might know? You know, I've been in the Overwatch before. I've visited a couple of times." Honestly, I don't know.

Who does it matter? Just put your damn hands up and surrender. Um. Breanna's going to try and make a read on Fie. Like, what exactly are you doing? What's the play? So she's kind of looking at Fie to kind of get some kind of assessment. Okay. Yeah. Fie's going to say "Okay. Fair enough." But my friend, I dragged her in. I shouldn't have. Can we drop off by the outside of the gates? You'll both go free if it's deemed you were just nosing around even. I don't care, honestly. Just keep people from trespassing. That's it. So both of you put your hands up and let's just go.

Bre's going to look a little panicked at this point. Because if these four guards were to be eliminated, then you might be able to continue. But at this point, I mean, there's going to be more of them. And if you're taken into custody, that's no good. Doesn't he have the fastest sword in the galaxy? Like, couldn't he just whip it out and start cutting this guy up before he can issue out commands and shit? Yeah, a surprise round, plus your two initiative things. Well, it's not a surprise round. He practically opened the conversation and said "What are you doing here?" "Fried." This guard is going to go ahead and take one more step towards Fie.

And he's going to go ahead and focus on Fie and outstretch his hands. Like, "Alright, let's go." He's going to try and grab Fie. Yeah, Fie is going to turn to Bre and say "You wanted to hit something?" Breanna is going to clench a fist and get ready and swing on Overwatch Soldier #1. Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch. Breanna is going to get ready and swing at the Overwatch Soldier. Fie is going to notice two things. One, her aim is terrible right now. She may be a little rocky from being resurrected. Two, there is no glow coming from her hands as she swings.

Ohhhhh. Jason? Yes, ma'am. Fuck you! And I think that's a good time for us to stop for this evening. Are we going to meet back up tomorrow? [Laughter] And I love that Iris is hung up. Did she seriously? Did she really hang up? Yeah. Oh no, she's there. Oh no. She's gone. She left. Fucking Windows 8. It still says she's here to me. Oh, that means I'm in trouble. No, okay. If she lives, if she lives through this situation, we can reclass Bree as something really cool though. You guys can just flee. We'll have to flee the city right afterwards. I can teach her how to use a broadsword.

Or Breanna could just settle down. Still the leader of the White Ravens. I mean, that's cool. Still got that going for her. Yep, she's pissed. She's back at least. I mean, Christ. Nah, she's pissed. That's not good enough apparently. See, I'm wearing her back with no repercussions. With my 10. You don't get what you want all the time, she is. As soon as she was there, I was like, I know what's happening. I know what's coming. Yeah. Yeah, so this is like, like, not at all surprising. Well, it's not that. It's not that it's not surprising. It's just that we're used to Jason screwing us over at this point.

So we think of everything bad that could happen. Like as you open that window, I literally thought, oh my God, Marcus set up a trap. There's gonna be like acid in that room or something. Because I'm just used to us like getting, you know, punching the dick. Well, um. Is he so mad? Yeah, she is. Boy, I'm gonna hear about that. No, it's good. It makes sense. It makes sense. Yeah, it does. I'm just saying when she's mad enough to storm off, that means when she does speak to me, it's just gonna be screaming volume like up here. And that's unpleasant. I don't think she's seriously pissed at you, but yeah, you're gonna get a scream session and you're not gonna be able to do anything but acceptance.

I know. I know. So we're gonna have to like go on an adventure to get our powers back or is she cool with it? She tried to use a fucking bow and that's that. She's lucky right now that she's not dead. Yeah. She doesn't have a gut pouch. I'm not that upset that she doesn't have her powers because she didn't really like her powers. Like, I'm sure she liked beating people up that she didn't like, but you know, it wasn't like... It comes with a lot of baggage. Yeah, that. Best thing now is I can tussle her hair whenever I want to without any repercussions. You'll be made of flesh pretty soon.

Well, still, I'll be big. Hopefully. Give me a big bum. Nope, nope. Yes. She'll kick me. She'll punt you six yards. Don't you do this to me, goddammit. I'm a man. Well, guys, I'm gonna jump off. I'll take a walk. I'll talk to you all later. I'm glad you guys enjoyed. I just want to say, Justin, I really enjoy playing with you. This is great. You fit in very, very well. I just try not to walk on people's feet when yesterday was happening because I felt very out of place. Like, you guys weren't very much like a well-oiled machine and it's like, "Dude, we haven't set fire to anything.

We're not a good group at all." Junzia does have fire powers. We'll try to make you feel at home soon. Pretty sure she might burn this house to the ground by the time this is over with. Or the Overwatch will. You know that. Fucking frack. Because now they gotta run. Can we say that Junzia has an emergency pack of all the books she needed just ready to go? So I still need to learn blood magic to get Ironhide back together. Oh, wow. Yeah, she's pissed. What did she say? What did she say? What just happened? What did she say? Oh, man. You little bitch. I love that that's how it's done.

It's very Italian. I was like, "Man, are you that pissed that you just..." Oh, you're a little bitch and you end episodes at shitty and annoying times. Now you're gonna get Brie killed because you wanted to twist the knife you cunt. Oh, wow. I told you she's pissed, dude. I can fucking read her that well. I'm annoyed that the episode is stopping there. Because there are things that I want to try and do. If I were you, I'd write them down. Because that's happened to me before and then the next episode I forgot what I was gonna do. Yep. That is exactly what I'm doing.

This will happen when she got bit by the vampire. Like, I totally spaced. Like, wait, what was I planning to do about this vampire bite? I remembered later. Yeah, I did that too. Sucks. Just scream, "Run away!" and then just do that action. Because I don't think you can... You might be able to win that fight, but I know she's gonna be swung at. Yeah. And she's got that negative two happening right now as well, which isn't helpful. Like, the best that you could hope for. Like, they seem like they were armored up, so if she critted, she may have gave him cauliflower ear.

Just popped him right in the fat of the ear. Like, that's the best she could have done. I still think you should have tried to turn into the guard that you were talking to and try to arrest him. Well... I was contemplating on turning into Marcus and just be like, "And who the fuck are you gonna be taking me to?" That would have worked. That probably wouldn't have worked, but it would have been funny. See, also, I've just realized the thing that I was thinking of for Marcus, so I wouldn't have to get too close, I could have fucking done to Bree, and she would have been out cold.

It's true. No, but like, using my powers, I've got something in mind that I can do, which I think is quite clever. Sorry, but.