The battle of White Wolf Valley

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[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Hey everybody, this is Tyler Wilson. I play Thoril Songsteel on group one of, of course, Dungeons & Randomness. I'm here today to talk to you about the Dungeons & Randomness Kickstarter. What we are attempting to do is get Jason to do Dungeons & Randomness full-time. For some of you who have known, he's kind of put this upon himself a couple months ago and he definitely wants to make this a thing that he can...

He wants to make Dungeons & Randomness something that he does for a living. What we're trying to do is have a guaranteed 40 episodes of DNR a year. Sound quality, getting new equipment and everything else to a bunch of different cast members. Start doing live DNR episodes, live GMT episodes, more YouTube content. Welcome to Theria Guide, a bunch of new stuff. If you want to donate to that, I strongly urge you to. You can find us on Facebook on Dungeons & Randomness. You can find the links on the DNR Twitter @DNRpodcast. If you just want to put in a dollar, you can put in a dollar.

I strongly urge that you put in more because you can get even more stuff. Ten dollars, you can get your name as an NPC in a random town in Theria. You get to be in the game as an NPC. Thirty dollars, you can get yourself postcards and a DNR logo shirt. Trust me, they're actually pretty good. Fifty dollars, you get the Green Flame Blade package. That's three postcards, a shoutout on the show, a Zan and Carter propaganda poster and a 30-minute Skype call with the members of the cast. You can basically sit there, talk about whatever you want with them, ask them whatever questions you've always had on your mind and maybe thrown into an email and hasn't gotten to a mailbag.

Whatever questions you had on your mind, you can absolutely ask them that. A hundred dollars, you can get Martyr's Retribution. It's a full set of Therian postcards. The original DNR PDF modules for Theria that you can run. A lot of the things that we have done on this show yourself as well as a custom, almost a crit, dice bag specific for this Kickstarter for the DNR donators. As well as everything in the lower tiers. Five hundred dollars, that's Twist the Knife. You basically have the right to purchase Jason running a session for you and up to four of your friends on Skype.

He'll write the adventure, set up the tables, set up the characters. All you guys got to do is show up and play and he will be your DM for the day. Five thousand dollars, that is the ultimate package. Jason and at least two other characters fly out to a con near you in the continental US. They'll play a live session with you. You'll have a dinner with them, with you and your friends. And if there's no con available, you know what? Just hang out with them. You basically purchased the right to have Jason and a few of the other cast members hang out with you.

That is absolutely everything that we're trying to do. That is what you can donate for. And twenty thousand dollars is our goal. We're already, what is it, thirty-six hours from starting this. And we're already twenty percent of the way. And even after twenty thousand dollars, we have all this different stretch goals. Set content, more DNR modules, the Tom Rowe show on YouTube, a signed headshot. The cast plays any game that you want. It goes all the way up to the possibility of a group four. Jason said he wasn't going to do it and he will break that promise if you get enough people to donate and we get to that tier.

So please, please, please, if you can donate to the DNR Kickstarter, make this a reality for us. Thank you very much. I guess let's do that thing where we go to the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. You're going on a table starting with Tom. Hey guys, I'm Tom. I play Yomar, Fars, and that's our player. And Kelsey. Hey, I'm Kelsey. I play Diana Astaroth, TP Mage. And Dan. Hi, I'm Dan Phelps. I play Duncan Joy Batam, Dwarven Bard. And Tyler. Hey, I'm Tyler. I play Thorosongsteel, a human scout. And Funko Pop. Yes, I'm Jake. I play Draconis, a fire-breathing dragon guy.

That's what I do. And I'm a mage. Motherfucker, you don't remember your class or... come on, man. I breathe fire, I'm a dragon. He's still in awe. I'm an android super soldier. Be honest with you, I am in shock right now after what I just heard. He's still in a state of shock from Delmar's intro. Just don't even edit that. Just keep in the silence of what happened afterwards. Last, and certainly not least, joining us in his first episode is Mr. Delmar Brooks. Hi, I'm Delmar Brooks. I'm playing Hondo the Vet, and I'm a cleric ranger. I'm Mike Vlad the Impaler.

Oh, can one of us be Keanu Reeves? Can one of us put on a really bad Keanu Reeves English accent? Because I would do that all day. I love Gary Oldman's Dracula. He's the best Dracula of all time. Oh, yeah, dude, he's fucking awesome. Keanu tried his hardest to ruin that movie, but Gary just stuck. I know. Jason, I'm looking at tokens here. Can I re-roll as a frog? Oh, there's frog tokens where? They're called Bullywogs. Bullywogs? That is a great name. Bullywog. Why don't I have that option available to me? You have to pay for it. We're gonna pay for this shit. We're moving to a new table.

In September, we'll be moving to a new table anyway. We'll be moving on up, as it were. That could be a mantis. They're called Thrycrines. We're gonna be just like the Jeffersons. Yes. Thanks. I'm really pissed, Jason, that you brought on Delmar, because now Duncan's never gonna get a t-shirt. He's really trying to get a t-shirt. Unless that Kickstarter goes through, none of us will get t-shirts. Be funnier, I guess? I'll try. Okay. You're playing with fire, Jason. Do you know what you're doing? I mean, it's tough, because Group 1, that's kind of the shtick. So everyone's bucking for...

What many people may not know is Delmar's a professional comedian. I was unaware of that. I'm so sorry. I'm just saying, Group 1's about to get fucking dumber. Everyone wants... We're about to bring the IQ down a few points. Not because Delmar's dumb. I know what's gonna happen. I just do. Delmar's a little dumb. We're all gonna have to one-up. It's gonna be just one-upping each other every single time. I look at Group 1 as the comedy... The Ant-Man of the DNR universe. Yeah, because apparently that didn't work out with derps. Well, now, hold on a second. Derp is...

It's... Derp... Is an exercise in futility. It is not. That is not true. You guys, it was... It got tense. It got hairy. But you guys pulled through. You did okay. When I said the Ant-Man, I meant with the more light-hearted... I know what you meant. And Kelsey was saying that went out in derp. Derp was supposed to be that. And it failed. It didn't fail. It didn't fail. Hold on. It kind of said the precipitate for two people to die... Sorry, maybe one person to die in the future and turn a kid into a werewolf. So, I mean, it's a little dark. A little Gotham. That's just theory though.

And apparently it got worse the second episode, which hasn't been out yet. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Very little jokes. That's not true. Okay, it's a little true, but... Basically, this was a test, Jason. And you failed. We'll see. It's not over yet. There was a couple of funny things that happened. There are still like one or two characters left alive. Last time, you guys had Diana join your party. You almost burnt down a sizable portion of Winterhaven, but just ended up burning down a portion of the blacksmith shop. You partially... Could have been worse. It was your fault.

It was my fault. You partially burnt down the blacksmith shop, and then you partially reimbursed him with some money. We're on a payment plan. We're working on it. Nah, he's human. We don't care. So fuck him. Yeah, basically. That is racist. So, you were also tasked by Nathaniel to go to Durnhollow on a diplomatic mission to try and remove the Overwatch element from their town. I don't know how well that's gonna go, but I guess we'll find out. Before you guys go, is there anything you'd like to do or say? Yes. I would like to talk to the group about stuff. Okay.

Nope. You're gonna have to pay in a bid for that. Yeah, we're waking up. Okay, so we're all like, "Are you ready?" We're in the lobby. Yeah. For the bed and breakfast. And then you're just like, "Hey guys, I have an idea." No, no. Okay, you tasked her to do this. I mean, she basically came up with a plan overnight. It's like, "Okay, we're gonna talk about this beforehand so we don't go in there with only one person knowing the plan and then messing things up." That's ridiculous. Just say blue. If anything goes wrong, work before. That was so last year. It's green now.

You know, I don't like you coming in here and pretending you're gonna change our dynamic. I was about to say, Diana, like Kelsey, seems very goal-oriented. So this is gonna be an interesting partnership. She has a terrible idea. She wants to burn down her whole universe. We're like, "Oh, let's do diplomacy because that'll be faster to get to Kari." That's the only reason that she's doing this. She can't burn it down again. Hold on, we can break down more completely. That's still an option. She's like, "Go get her metal management," who tries to hand us all assignments and is all excited about it and we're just putting them through the shredder.

She's not excited about it. Okay, so what's the plan? What's your plan? Well, first of all, because... Okay, so she's just, we're all sitting down stuff and just... Okay, so first of all, what exactly are our numbers as far as Winter Haven's army and whatnot? Do we know any details about exactly which races and how large the army we have is? The Lord Draconis wouldn't actually know. I know, I was about to say, I just showed up. I have no clue what's going on. I mean, we can give an approximation, I guess? That'll do. Pretty big. Approximately pretty big. Lore check.

So far between 100 and 1 million. Can I roll a lore check to see if Duncan knows this? You've been told! Bunches and bunches? You have been told. I'll just tell you again. Winter Haven is working with about 15,000 troops. Something close to. It is a mixture of Dragonborn and Dwarves and Drow and Elves and humans alike. Thank you, God. Duncan said that. So what exactly happened with the Overwatch's Warforged? It's kind of killed over. Do you want to tell us the whole thing? I can't recall right now. She said it was Malchus. I know she said that and punched a wall.

I don't remember if she extracted it. I just don't remember if she told us. I knew she told us it was Malchus. I don't know if she told us the whole part of it. Like, everything about it. You could probably assume it was magic something even if she didn't. She did tell us, Jason? As I recall, yes. When both parties kind of met up again, she rattled it off a bit. Okay, we can just assume she told us. Okay. Long story short, your brother put an amulet and they all fell down. I knew that was happening. She's not going to comment on that, but I had to nod like, "Okay." Do we have any idea how many forces they have left?

No. Okay. More? Presumably we are looking fairly good now that the Warforged are out of the picture. It's all of us versus Overwatch and I guess from what we hear they might have gotten the darn hollow, but that's what we're trying to prevent. Yes, and that's my next question. What exactly happened when you were in Durn Hollow previously? As we're going to be going back there, there will probably be some questions about your presences. It would be helpful to know the details. Okay, so I had a very nice business transaction. I made a small deposit. Put a tame in her.

Very small. As soon as that came out of my mouth, I made a quite large deposit. I personally did nothing wrong. Draconis? No, okay. I didn't do anything wrong either and you all know that, okay? I came down, there was a little scuffle going on in the lobby in the whorehouse, okay? I come down from upstairs doing my business, not like Thoril, but doing my own separate business. Ironhide is by himself surrounded by all these slave dudes and I had to do what I had to do. I threw a fireball down and saved the day. Diana is going to nod like, "Yeah, that's perfectly reasonable.

She understands what you did and why you did it." Of course, I have saved the day. Yeah, human slavers, why wouldn't you just kill them anyways? Okay, so she's gonna nod and say, "Is there anything else at all?" Nope. Oh, we killed the head slaver dude guy. He had to say that, didn't he? It's kind of pertinent. Okay. Well, if that's all that you did, that hopefully shouldn't be too difficult as that's- He was a real jerk. This is when Duncan leans over to Yynnward and says, "Didn't you guys rob somebody or something?" Thank you. Oh yeah, Draconis robbed a guy.

No, I never robbed anybody, okay? He was totally strong, I'm told lately it was awful. No, Ironhide and I had a conversation with her. I got information I needed and he got health potions that he needed for the group. No one here actually stole anything from her. I personally, I took information. I didn't take goods. You stole her sense of security. Alright, okay, so here's how we're gonna do this. The first thing we want to do is just go ahead and probably circle the town and just kill any Overwatch soldiers that are out there if we can. Just try and get rid of as much of their presence in the town as possible before actually going in.

And then, do we know the name of anyone who was in charge, perhaps? We're pretty tight with the Captain of the Guard. Mhm, okay. He likes us. Is he in a position of power? He's the Captain of the Guard. Different towns have different setups, but alright. So we'll try and find him then if he is somewhat on your side already. That should help. And then, one thing that we're gonna have to do is presumably we're gonna be going in as though we are here to rescue the town from the Overwatch forces, which is true. But also, I'm going to say that we had thought that we had gotten word from Durnhall that this is what they wanted.

So that even if they protest, we can just say that we were told otherwise. And then also, if it comes up, your actions in the past, it would be helpful for you to apologize. Don't even, I don't care if you even just say you're sorry and not even be apologizing for what you did in that town. But just to get things over with as soon as possible. And then after that, hopefully we'll just be able to diplomasize from there. Now how long do you guys think this is gonna take? Because I have, now when I disguise myself, I have one hour. Well, you shouldn't have to disguise yourself until we actually enter the town, which then hopefully if everything goes well we'll just be talking from then on out.

So it shouldn't take more than an hour and if so, we can just send you away or something, I don't know. And also of course, I have quite a list of certain things that should hopefully be able to convince the town to let Winterhaven take control. And if not, I have a couple of spells that might be able to help with that. But if all else truly fails, the backup plan of course is to simply destroy the place. And then I will begin by setting fire to something and then that will be the fairly obvious cue to get on with the rest of it, I believe. I know Draconis is all for that, but can we talk about that part?

Like me and Duncan probably are in the midst of the whole leveling of town. I didn't say I was for that. Well, just going by your past. This is why we're talking about this now so we can raise complaints and get things hammered out before actually getting on with it. So please, tell me why we should save the humans. Because they have homes and feelings. Wow, somebody's sounding pretty soft right now, I'm just saying. Here's what I know. People already think we're dicks. If they draw on us, that's fine. But if they're just like, "No, we don't want a piece," and then we just burn the place down, I think that's a little uncalled for.

Well, here's the thing. Presumably we all probably wanted criminals in the Overwatch, so if they choose to stay with the Overwatch, which I don't see why they would, but if they do, then they're going to be attacking us anyway. So honestly, there's... I'll fight soldiers, but I ain't burning the whole city down. You don't have to. The problem is if we just kill the soldiers or all the grown men or something and then burn down the town, that leaves children who are going to be angry and remember it and grow up and come after us. So we should cut down a bunch of kids, this is what yours is now.

They're human children, doesn't it? And you're a devil woman. Leave for another 17 years and let them grow. Your brother saved a human child, and she grew up to be alright, okay? That's all I'm saying. What? Yeah, the sister-in-law. I don't know what you're... Regardless, they're human children, they're just going to grow up to be more horrible beings, so if anything, we're saving them the misery of having to exist as they are. I will go over it to Laurel. This chick's on a full-depth level. He's right here. Yeah, the world's right there. She's just going to look at them like, "Why should she care that he's there?" Like she does not see anything.

Laurel, say something! I don't think you're horrible. You were the vampire once. What does that mean? Yeah, he's down. I don't see how that has anything to do with- Let me get this straight, let me get this straight. This is the plan. We go in there, if things go sour, we kill all the kids. Is that what I'm hearing? That's what you said. That's what the devil's proposing? We kill everyone, we just destroy the- Everyone. Now look, I burned down a whorehouse. That's a whole different ballgame. I don't like children more than anybody else, but I'll be damned if I'm going to go in there just to slaughter a bunch of kids.

There you go. Yeah, that doesn't sound like the most appealing of things, because we're already kind of known as the bad guys. I really don't want to cement that legacy. Even the fire-breathing monster doesn't want to kill the kids, so... She is kind of looking at Draconis like she's kind of surprised that he would be against that. Hey, we're Grouper Heroes, and your brother was one of them. Let's lighten up, okay? DM. God, are you listening? Jason's fine too, that's cool. Oh, are you? Oh God, it's me, Duncan. Are there people around? In Aubrey? I hope not. I assumed that we would be talking to this at a place where there wouldn't be people around.

Yeah, well I don't mean are we being overheard, I just mean like, if I were to go, could I go find a person? Well, it's a town, so yeah, of course you can go find a person. We're going to conduct an impartial poll. I would imagine. No, I was actually going to run a streetwise check to see if there's any information about what's going on over at Nirnhala. Like, get more information about it. Well, we're not done discussing the plans, I mean if you want to do that. I'm getting up at least, I don't... The entire point of this is to figure out what we're doing.

We're not doing it. Hopefully it won't come to that, but if we don't figure out a different backup plan, then Diane is just going to go for it. I mean, if you don't tell her that. He just starts writing. I'm going to, because I need more information before making these decisions, so I'm going to go talk to the teacher. Okay, so are you going to tell the group that before just getting up and walking up? Nope, he's just going to start writing away. We're just going to look at him like, "Wait, what the f- what are you, where are you going?" That's kind of what it sounds like.

Just like your father? No, I put up a finger and say, "Give me a minute." Okay. And then I get up. So, let's say that you guys are at the inn and you've, when you woke up you all just, let's say that Diane is like, "Okay team, let's discuss what we're going to do today." Duncan's going to leave the inn, or talk to the owners, or who, just the first person that gets in your way? There's probably nobody unsavory in Aubrey, is there? Artemis. Yeah. He'd probably be a good person to talk about it to, wouldn't he? Oh god. Jason gets to play art in this game. Yay!

But that would be, that'd be, can I run a streetwise check against one person? I mean, wouldn't, isn't it more just about like- Well if you're, okay, if you're running a streetwise check then that's just general like taking the pulse of the streets. Yeah, and that's, that's kind of more about what I want to, just kind of getting general information about what's going on over in Dirt Hall. See if anybody knows, and you know. Just like deflates. Well, it's okay. There will be another time. If this doesn't work we can still go talk to Artemis. It's not a big deal.

Yeah, no, it's fine. Yeah, so. Thirty seconds. Say it. Legally obligated to, you're legally obligated to say it. Say what? Almost a crit. Oh, almost a crit, sorry. I thought we said almost a crit when it was a bad roll. I'm sorry. No, I mean, it's kind of, I don't know. You just kind of say it whenever. You just kind of say it. Every roll. Say it. It's in memoriam, okay? Okay. In Aubrey, Durn Hollow did not have a very good reputation to begin with. It is a seedy little town full of dirt poor people who were fairly unsavory. And then everyone kind of heard about the group of bandits that rode through town and burned down their whorehouse and slaughtered a bunch of people and then just rode out.

So, shortly after that, Captain Ellis Airway, the captain of the guard in Durn Hollow, reached out to the Overwatch as a last ditch effort for protection from people like you. They had no means of protecting themselves. You killed the local leader of the New Vol and when they got wind of that, they were going to ride into town and just probably kill everyone there. So, they reached out for help, got it from the Overwatch, and now the Overwatch essentially occupied Durn Hollow. They originally brought in a pretty large grouping of Warforged, but that was a pit stop along the way to Winterhaven.

So, there are, right now, from what you can gather, a sizable troop of human soldiers from the Overwatch in Durn Hollow. Kind of protecting the town and helping them rebuild. Does anyone know if they are inside the city or are they...? It's a thing where they have kind of... that they are within the town and there are patrols outside of the town as well. Okay. Okay. My other... Oh, and can I pick up on who's in charge over there right now? With a... yeah, 36, Jesus. Among the people who have fled Durn Hollow, one of the people who are excommunicated was the previous mayor, who turned out to be a hardcore drug addict and did nothing to protect the town.

The townspeople kind of turned on them and when the Overwatch came in, it was used as an excuse to kind of elect a new figurehead. Ellis Airway is essentially running Durn Hollow, but everyone answers to the Overwatch itself. So, he is more or less a babysitter. And Ellis is the sheriff guy that we talked to? Yes. Gotcha. A good friend. Okay. So, Duncan goes back into the inn, comes back up on the table and goes, "So, I think we should head back to Winterhaven. Let's go guys. Let's get out of here." Wait, what? What? We're done. What do you mean, go back to Winterhaven?

We're gonna go back. Why? 'Cause... Haven't screamed, I think. Didn't you tell someone that you were going to take care of the Durn Hollow issue? Yeah, but I think... I mean, we're cool with Nathaniel, right? So, I think he'd understand. What do you think? Ginnor, do you think it's cool? I think it was pretty accommodating. I think he'd be okay. If this is... If we're trying to capture this as far as, like, wartime strategy, even if we just destroy the town, it would be better than having it there as an enemy outpost. Okay, you're gonna have to drop that "destroy the town" thing.

That's not... Oh, hey. Oh... I wasn't saying that we necessarily should. I was just talking hypothetically, yes? Guys, guys, guys, guys. Yeah. There's a lot of Overwatch there. Like... Like, how much is a lot? Are you sure we can't handle it? Dude... Um... Like, what, four or five? Like, see us here? Yes. Like, more than that. Like... That has never been a problem before. Yeah, I don't... It's like a hundred or more than that. A hundred. It's a sizable group of Overwatch. That is a lot more, right? And they're outside the town, and they're inside the town, alright? Okay.

And, um... You said you knew the captain of the guards? And I pointed you inward. You know that guy? Yeah, yeah. We're good friends with him. He loves us. Okay, he's in charge now? Yeah. But, um, he's not really in charge. Like, the Overwatch is really in charge. He's just kinda, like, hanging out. He's kinda like Ian was, you know? Oh, yeah. And, uh... I don't think this is gonna work out, guys. I'm just gonna say it. I don't think it's gonna go well. Okay. Let's go back to winter. Dana's just gonna shrug. She doesn't care. So, you guys really wanna... We came all this way.

You guys wanna just turn back now? I don't wanna let Nathaniel down. It was like half a day's travel. I just don't... What do you mean you don't wanna let him down? He told us to go do something, and now you're like, "Oh, let's go back." Last time I went, I got kicked through a window, and that hurt. Should we go ask for reinforcements somewhere? We have an army. We can maybe go back and do that, knowing that we do have people that we could grab. I'm confused, since when did you guys turn into a bunch of pussies? I know of some dwarves who'd really like to hit something.

I've died before, man. I don't wanna do it again. It would give us leverage if we had an army at our side. You either join up with us or we destroy you with this giant army. I like this. From a diplomacy standpoint, I'm letting you know, if you walk in with a force behind you, that doesn't necessarily scream diplomacy. It screams diplomacy or else. On the other hand, it would offer you protection. It's the Lawrence. It's Steve Alcom. Right? I'm just letting you know. Kill every Overwatch guard. We're here to help! Exactly. I don't see why it's still the same outcome.

They'll be on our side, whether they want to or not. It doesn't matter. I don't see what's the issue with this. Couldn't possibly create people who are gonna end up going against us. Well then that's not our problem, because we'll be gone and we can let the Winter Haven's people take care of that. That has traditionally worked well in the past. I mean, we could always just go to Overwatch and kill Carter. You wanna just do that? Yeah, let's just go straight to Overwatch. We just walk right in. Get somebody to validate our parking. I thought our plan was to go with the other, you know, armies and such.

Just nip it right in the bud. Why didn't we think of that before? It's genius. Yeah. Why don't we even go to the trouble of getting all these people together in the first place? I feel bad for wasting all these nice people's time. This is what would have happened if you had me here the whole time. We wouldn't have dealt with all this. We would have just killed Carter. It would have been done. Should have dealt with this a long time ago. So if we're gonna go back to Winter Haven though... Remember what happened last time we were at Winter Haven? So we take a back alley and avoid the people like we probably should have done anyways?

It was an accident. I don't care. If we're going back to Winter Haven, let's just do it. We can talk on the road. Alright, let's do it. Let's head back. Okay. Draconis. Yep. Do me a favor and roll an endurance check please. Okay. Will do. And that is an eight. I got an eight. That's a crit miss right there. That is a crit miss. I rolled a crit. That is a crit. There you go. It's not my crit. So Draconis is just gonna like die? I'm drug related. The urge has overcome him. On the road back to Winter Haven... God. Draconis is going to double over in pain and fall off his horse.

And he is going to kind of rear up on all fours and start violently choking and coughing. Do me a favor and roll perception. Everyone except Draconis. That's a... Let me find my little one. Not bad. Oof, God. Everybody is all the same. They're pretty good. I mean considering... 17, 16, 16. 17 and a bunch of 16s. Like, ah, he's fine. Well, maybe we could see him. They just keep riding like, like... We'll get up in a minute. Like, we don't have to roll a perception check from falling off his horse and coughing, right? No. I mean that's kind of... No, no, no. That's not what that's for.

There's something clearly wrong. Right. No, he is obviously... Yeah, you all notice that he has fallen off his horse and he is... He is in some amount of pain here. Thorl is the only one to spot that there are flecks of blood underneath of him as he chokes and sputters here. I think he has cancer, guys. Let's go. Right enough again. I think now we should go to Dardhav. Should I... because I know the rest of the group kind of knows about Draconis' drug stuff. Should I do like a nature check or something to see how much I know about dragonborn stuff? Because I've heard them talking about his drugs and everything.

Yeah, go ahead and roll a nature check to see what... Plus five, but you know, why not? Oh, 24. Okay. Hey! I'll submit! So Diana would kind of put two and two together. Draconis doesn't live in Orash. He never talks about Orash. They've talked about his drug habit openly. And now the coughing, sputtering thing. So she could probably infer from all that that Draconis is a very sick dragonborn with a chemical dependency. Draconis has... I like this, actually. Draconis... let's see here. Draconis, Draconis, Draconis. Draconis has a small portion of blood root remaining.

This would be enough for... let's say two bumps. Like this would be enough to stave this off probably another four or five days before he would start really getting bad. So you would imagine that he is trying to ration this out and perhaps he missed time to dosage here. Now if you remember the problem with him taking this is, he will feel better, but he kind of goes into sort of a fucking insane rage with it. Like just crazy over the top, likes to set fire to things, kind of doesn't think about consequences. This is different from usual how? It's Draconis turned up to 11.

He's usually at nine. Nine and a half. So not sure what you guys would like to do, but Draconis is kind of lame. As I'm on the ground I want to ball my fist up and pound it on the ground. I just want to scream "those grapes were horseshit!" Diana is just going to stare like not what. I was talking about I had one and it was pretty good. It was ripe. No seeds. I think you're being a little unfair because you're going through some withdrawals there buddy. Okay, I'm gonna bring this up to the group here and discuss it as a group. If we're totally role playing here, wouldn't we just kind of keep going?

Because none of us here were very happy with Draconis. We're not just gonna stop while he's like dying on the ground. I mean, we're not just gonna go on I mean, but like... I don't... Well, Duncan can keep going, but if anything... I think we'd stop for a second and just look into him. If anything Diana, she's just curious about what's going on if not... Right. I'm not necessarily... I'm saying more like Yynnward said. We'd stop and just be like "Come on, get up!" Like, you know, what do you... Like... But I mean, if he needs to take some drugs we should probably have him do it here before we get into the city.

So maybe that rage stuff will kind of die off? Eh? Before we interact with people? It's not even rage. Every impulse that hits his head is the best idea anyone's ever had. Exactly. So if he's like all hyped up when we go into Winterhaven, like it's... he's gonna burn stuff down again. So that's what I'm saying. Right. Have him do it here. He'd turn around and Draconis is eating his horse. I was hungry. So yeah, what are you gonna do with me? Oh, I said, well, okay. Diana, I guess, doesn't know necessarily about like the blood or whatever. She knows that he's sick, so she's gonna like move her horse like up to him and just sort of ask like...

Do you have anything to help you with that? Not much. What exactly is it? Does it have any other effects that we should be aware of? No, it's just not an easy process for me, okay? He's gonna nod. Just like if you need some privacy to take care of it, we can move on and you can catch up to us if you'd like. I'd like to look at Doc and make like snorting motions, but not say anything. A minute's our snorting. I want Draconis to see it out of the corner of his eye. Then he has to run away. Draconis is gonna ask, does anybody have a... something flat? I just happen to have a mirror in my pack.

Do you need dollars? I need somebody's sword or something. I need an axe. I need something flat. Okay, I'll give him. Oh my gosh, you're a I guess walk over to Yennward and grab Stormrunner, which is obviously way too heavy for him. It drops straight to the ground. Should we make him roll like a Strength check? I would say roll an Athletics check. Okay, I will do that. Just for... And his head's cut up. And he's dead. So the second Yennward kind of holds out his hand and Draconis takes it from him, that axe is instantly going to drop and implant itself in the ground.

Like that is instantly... He's a flat surface, it doesn't have to be like... Like he can lay down, right? Like Draconis still has a grip on it. It's just like... It is deceptively heavy. Yennward, do you want to help me out here? I guess I'll hold Stormrunner out to him. Duncan starts playing "Come on baby, light my fire" by the door. A certain song by Eric Clapton would also be appropriate. So, Yennward's holding the axe out there. I guess Draconis is going to reach into his pocket, or his little pouch or whatever, and pull out a little bit of the bloodroot and place it onto the axe, and firmly presses his palm into it and start crushing it down onto the steel.

Alright, okay. So that's more a mortar and pestle thing, like you have to grind it up and there's... Oh, okay. But yeah, you... okay, so... That is one of the two doses you have remaining. I have a drug finger. Yeah, I imagine you... yeah. Just saying. So that is one of the two doses you have remaining. Yes. So, alright, let's... Kids, don't do drugs. At home. Unless you need to get even. Do some drugs. Do it off the barrel of a gun. It's kind of like... Do it off the barrel of a gun. Or a stripper's ass. Do I need anything special to grind it up here? No, you would have all the... trust me, you'd...

I have the material? You would have the materials. You'd have the contraband. You'd have it already. Okay. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to do an attack against Draconis' will. What? Because this is you kind of... This is you just simulating you trying to, like... Snort it. Fight the urge to do something like crazy. And if you fail, we're going to roll a d20, and I happen to have a list next to me with... I love these. Oh, Jesus. These were my favorite. This is like the Rod of Wonder, but this is going to happen all the fucking time. I was about to say, last time this happened, you had to, uh...

Throw shit himself. Yeah. I love these. It's like the Jabberwocky from Elder Scrolls. Alright, here we go. 18 or higher. Mudcrab, mudcrab, mudcrab. 26. 26. Yeah, my will's 18, so yeah. Do me a favor, Draconis. Roll a d20. I can, uh... Can't wait. I can do that. Yeah, why not? 17. Hold on. Sure. Come on, mudcrab. Why is it when he snorts the drugs, like, I'm imagining, like, the dubstep song from Saints Row 4 just going in his head? Probably. Like, it's not actually playing, but it's playing in Draconis' head. We're looking for fan art, folks. We're looking for fan art.

So Draconis snorts a line of Bloodroot off of Stormrender, which is... Fucked up. It's kind of funny. It's kind of... It's kind of electrified. I like it. And Draconis is kind of like spin around and reel back, and he's just like, ugh, just getting his shit together. And then he is overcome with an intense desire to beat his horse to death in his bare hands. What? What? Say it again. Say that one more time, Jason. Draconis is overcome with the most intense desire any person has ever had to literally beat his horse to death with his bare hands. He's not even setting it on fire.

He's just like punching it to death. Punch it to death. What is his strength? No, he wants to. We should stop him. His strength is 10. Like, that's going to take, like, five hours. He really wants to kill his horse. Okay, so I'm just going to like charge straight at my horse and just start pounding the shit out of it. Yes, I would. As I'm doing it, I want to be screaming like almost a crying scream. I just want to be screaming Oliver. That's the name of my horse, by the way. I just want to be screaming Oliver as I'm just pounding the shit out of it. Can we all like drag him off as a unit of his horse?

Dan is not dragging him off. He's just like, staring. Oh, you're right against horses too, huh? Is there anybody you do like? Can we roll a check to like tackle him to the ground and stop him? Well, okay. I'm like animals, Jason. I want to see a horse. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Can I use- I want to see all the people you want. Could I use hypnotism to get him to- Hold on. At first, to the party, it just looks like Draconis has really juiced up and ready to get back on the road. Uh oh. He's going to get a good few shots in on his horse. Do me a favor, Draconis. Roll three attacks against your horse.

Oh, he just mongo punches it. What's his horse's defense? Your horse has an AC of 20. Okay. What attack am I rolling? Basic melee. So it's got a pretty good shot at making it through, I mean. I have- Oh, basic melee. Okay, there it is. All right. I don't think there's anything, any plus to that. No, it's- No. Can this horse rear up and hoof him in the nose? Well, we're going to see if he hits him first. Like that's- First one, 21. That'll hit. Okay, here's the second one. Seven. And third one, 19. Okay, so you do land one punch against your horse. Um, so, do me a favor, roll a 1d4. 1d4?

Okay. Yeah. His backhand is one. One. Hurt his hand. He just slaps his horse. He just slaps his horse and it bites him. You're gonna run up and punch your horse in the side. Just like, just the broad side of your horse just punch. And your horse is going to spin around and try to kick you in the chest. Just plain kick you in the chest. You deserve this. Piece of shit. All right, I'm gonna cast fireball. No, I'm kidding. That was a joke. I'm not doing that. 29 versus your AC. AC? Yeah, that hits. Womp, womp. I love these. Uh, 12. 12 damage to Draconis and you are going to fly back three spaces.

Yes, I knew this. Is he still, like, gonna try- Well, that's what we're gonna find out. Um, Draconis, let's roll another attack versus your will. Should it be a saving throw, maybe? Um, you know what? Okay, because, yes, roll a saving throw. Just a flat d20. It'll hold you. 13. Okay, so Draconis is gonna, after the kick to the chest, that's gonna cause a pretty good amount of pain to Draconis. And after a couple seconds, he's gonna snap out of it. Okay, so that wasn't too bad. Of the things that could have happened? Yeah. We'll find out what those are at some point, I'm sure.

I'm sure at some point this addiction is not going away. Okay, so we're all good. Let's continue on. Does the- like- Wait, he just punched the horse! No, we're fine. Whatever. I just want to just be laying there on the ground, just holding my chest for a minute. What did Oliver do to you? Dude, why do we keep him? What do we keep him for? He's such a dick. Is there, like, a stain on Stormrender from where he's crushing a blood root on it? Um, well, yeah, I'd imagine there's some residue. Okay, I'd just like to bring it up to my nose and just kind of like waft it and like touch my tongue to it.

Oh, alright, you guys start rolling out too. Please don't make any- You don't take it once and you're addicted. You took the hound to- I'm not a dragonborn, it doesn't do anything to me, it's just a gross thing. Oh no, that doesn't just work for dragons. It is a drug used by addicts. Oh, okay. I just taste it. Yeah, no, you're fine. You're just seen if it's pure, that's all. Just curious, first time. Just cut with baby aspirin, this is torture. Yeah, like, pretty much the thing is, like, the hound who first saw the group and, like, the guys were, like, burning down the thing, so as far as she's concerned, this is, like, everyday sort of stuff.

This is everyday stuff. Which it kind of is, so. Okay, uh, Duncan just looks back and goes, "Are you done punching horses? Can we go ahead now, please?" We're just fed up, we're just shaking our head as he's dusting himself off. Exactly. Can I tie his horse off onto my horse's lead and make him walk? Yes, you can. I'm gonna do that. Okay. You're gonna fucking make me walk? Come here, Oliver, I'm just brushing him. Well, luckily, luckily, for some inexplicable reason, Draconis has filled with a burst of energy. So, walking while slower, you can do it. Okay, so I can keep up with the walk while these guys are riding, okay.

Unless they burst into a jawline. We're just jawlining. Yeah. Fucking Draconis is, like, power walking behind. He just starts getting dragged behind the horses. As Yennward's hooking up, I want to walk over to Oliver and just lay my forehead against the side of his cheek there. I just want to apologize to him. Does he bite him? No, that's what I was about to do. Like, "No, don't bite him, just push him." I don't think you can do diplomacy with a horse. Yeah. Roll a nature check. Roll a nature check, Draconis. Nature check, okay, that's gonna be a good one. Fourteen.

He doesn't forgive you. While Oliver doesn't attack you again, he kind of does that thing where it's just like, "Pfft." Just like, "He's not exactly happy with you." That was a great horse sound, by the way. You've been practicing that, Jason? I guess, I don't know. I just kind of belted one out. Well, that was silly. Let's move on. Is the weight of Winterhaven long enough so that Draconis is gonna come down from as high a bit? Well, mounting up. Do me a favor, everyone roll a perception check. Okay. Crit! Yep. Not a crit. Yeah, it was like, "I don't see anything." Technically, it was a crit.

Just the bad kind. Let's see here, Diana and Thorol. As they're mounting up again, they're gonna notice a figure standing off to the side watching them. Oh, God. Who is enough of a distance away that he wouldn't have aroused suspicion previously. But now as you're mounting up, you're kind of given a look around in the road and it's like, "Okay." Delmar. Yeah. I think it's about time here to introduce Hondo. Okay, cool. So, Hondo would have seen everything that went down here. Like, he would have seen Draconis do a bump off Stormrender and then punch his horse and then get kicked.

And then the party show general disgust. Sounds silly when you put it that way. Yeah. You mean the way it happened? It's up to you whether you'd like to approach the group? Okay. Okay, seeing after everything that just happened, I just sidle up. Am I my horse or am I just walking? Yeah, yeah. You'd be, yeah. Okay, so I re-up my horse and I come up to the group and I'm just going to start my horse at this amount. And just to give a brief outline of what he looks like. He's wearing a hide armor but it looks kind of like a black suit. And he's got a crossbow, a hand crossbow just at his side.

And for some reason, he has a mourning style on his back. Anyway, he starts clapping. He bursts out laughing and starts clapping. And then he looks at the dragonborn and says, "Hey man, kid, you need some purple." Some purple? What the hell is purple? You see the thing you were sniffing just now? That's not going to end well for you. You need some purple. You ever eat the grapes? I do. Okay, you see that little placebo effect that makes you kind of feel like a pregnant woman? Not quite sure about that but I'm listening. All right. All you got to do is put a little powder up in there.

None of that blood root. A little powder, a little grape, a little brimstone. You'll be fine, kid. Trust me. And that stuff, it gets you up there but it's a slowed down mellow high. Oh, by the way, Armando, pleasure to meet you. What? I... Kid, are you deaf? I'm going to look around everybody else and just... I'm being shocked. Hi, Armando. I'm Yennard. Be careful. I hold out my fist. I pound that fist. Yeah. You must be a bud, right? Absolutely. Hey, I like him. Can we keep him? Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you talking about? Keep him? I'm not a pet, kid. Diana's just... she's not going to say anything.

She's kind of looking at him like trying to sort of like get a sense like what is going on and... So you tell me... Armando looks at Diana and I'm just like looks her up from up and down and goes, "Hey, uh, what's your name, sweet chicks?" Oh, God. I like him already. She's just gonna sort of sigh quietly. Diana. It's a pleasure to meet you, Hondo. Duncan kind of leans over to Hondo, like does the one hand thing so Diana can't see his lips and goes, "She's a devil lady." That's not a very nice thing to say. She looks like an angel to me. Oh, my God. She has horns and scaly red skin.

What angels have you seen? At this point, Diana's going to turn around and continue down the path. Where are you guys headed anyway? Winterhaven. Why? What kind of business you got there? We are the Knights of Winterhaven. Might have heard of us. We're kind of retreating right now. We're kind of retreating to go get reinforcements. We're not retreating. We're kind of retreating. We're regrouping. Stop saying bad things in front of the cool guy. Let me get on the streets. You're retreating from what exactly? A little place called Durnhollow. Oh, I got a shop up there.

Oh, shit. Okay. What are you going to do in Durnhollow? Make you retreat? Are you going to fight? We hope not. We don't know. We don't know exactly. We're going to try to liberate him. Oh, oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Keep it that way. Let's get off the road a little bit here. Come on. Let's move over. And then he's just going to guide his horse off the road just slightly to the bushes. Since I'm the only one not on a horse, I guess I'm just going to walk over there. That's right. You are. Does everybody follow? Yeah. Turn around, see them doing that and just sigh again and go back and join them.

Okay. So as you guys woke up, he kind of blows up his bravo. Are you fucking stupid? I'm a fucking stranger. I come to you and you're telling me about how you're going to fucking invade Durnhollow? What's wrong with you? You told him that we were invading Durnhollow? I'm sorry. Your word was liberate. What are you fucking stupid? Do you know how many troops are there now? Do you? Just facepalm. She just like tags her head like she's nine. I heard like a hundred or so. Put a bigger number on that. Let's call it 300. 300? How many do we have? They send a lot of people.

You guys. Dracodas is going to look over and be like, what? Do you just, do the rest of you just walk up to anyone you meet and tell them of what we're doing, what our plans are? Duncan just pointed Draconis. Don't look at everyone. He did it. It's alright. It's okay. It's okay. Fortunately for you, I'm privity your cause. I know about the White Ravens. And let's just say I have my certain connections. So don't worry about it. But you have to be the stupidest motherfuckers I've ever seen. Why would you tell a stranger your business? Yes, why? I'm curious to hear this one.

Why do they keep referring to all of us? It was him. Is this going to stay? You ask? God. We're all just turning towards Draconis like, yes. Stop goofing us all in with him. These aren't drugs. I can get you back into Durn Hollow, but this, you got to talk me through what exactly you need to do and how I can help you. But let me just say right now, my help is going to come at a cost. It might not come right now, but it will come. And then I look over at Draconis and I say, shut up. And I go, we can't tell you. It's already too late. No, it's a secret. We can't tell you.

Okay. At this point, he looks at Diana and says, you seem to be a smart one here. What do you want to do? Don't listen to her. She's a devil. And her brother ruined the world. That's not smart. I do not have any siblings. Don't listen to him. He... Anyways, as far, we're going back to get reinforcements because yes, our plan is, we were told by the leaders of Winterhaven that to assist in the war to recapture Durn Hollow and then we could head on to the Overwatch. My goal at least is to get to Carter. Diplomacy was the fastest way to do this, but really the only way to do that we thought would be to get rid of the Overwatch soldiers first.

And to do that, we would need the larger numbers. We have them, but we need to go get them as far as I'm concerned. Okay. Well, you're definitely going to need numbers if you're going to storm the gates, but I mean, I could get you in the back way, but apart from that, I don't know what it is you're trying to accomplish. So either way, I can help you out. I... Since you lived there, you would... Is there someone we could talk to? We heard that the captain of the guard... We're talking to the guy right now. Hmm. So you would be able to convince the town to...

There are things I could get done. Hmm. She's like, kind of like impressed, but kind of like nodding like, okay, like you seem useful. Like that's interesting. So like, she'll kind of nod. Duncan puts two and two together and looks at Hondo and goes, what happened to the old mayor? Let's just say you got... He's done politically. You know, sometimes these things just have to happen. Diana's going to chuckle at that. You don't know anything about that. I didn't tell you. No, but just the way that he said it. I mean, like, she could hear your conversation. You're asking what happened to the old mayor.

It's not too hard to... Okay, so what you're saying is we don't have to go back and get the numbers. You can get us in, you can get us hooked up to the right people. We can take care of it that way. You could do that, but again, it depends on what you're planning to do. I can't help you if you go in there all guns blazing. I point at Diana and I say, she wants to kill all the children. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Hondo will look at her seriously and take great offense to that. What did you just say? That is not... That's what she said. That is a great exaggeration.

While not plan A, certainly plan B. No, that was the plan of last resort was to burn down the town as leaving it in the hands of the Overwatch would not be good. There were several steps, like that was literally our last resort. She said her fear was the human children would grow up and to hate us, so we should just cut them off at the roof. It did result to burning down the town. We tried to talk her out of it, and then she said, "I'm a devil lady and I do what I want." Okay, at that point Hondo is going to take a step back and he's going to look at the group.

So from Duncan to Thorol to Yenwood. And then he's going to stare at Yenwood and he's going to be like, "Okay, you devil woman, you can come with us, but I swear to God, I will kill you if you even lay a hand on any kid in that city. Do you understand me?" Um, okay, do you mind if I come as well? You can all come, please. More than Mario. For the record, Hondo, in the future when you're listening to events you might want to not take the word of these ones, because apparently they only listen to half the things that people around them say. Don't worry, sweetheart, I know a lot more than you think.

Let's go. Okay, so you were heading back to Durnau. Yeah, I did. Why not? Just turn our horses around and go the other way. Okay, let's... Yeah, just kind of on the way I'd just be like, "So, what exactly is the name of your shop?" I run a little tailor place called Teas and Ques. Ah, okay. I didn't have a ton else, but like, um... A tailor, huh? By trade, I mean, yeah, sure, I can make you the best suit you ever wore. You see this? Made it myself. Ooh, don't you make one in a size 90? You think I'm some cool man? Yeah, we're in a suit. If I have a coronation coming up, I'd like to look sharp.

You can emboss it with some fancy gold glitter if you like. A minotaur in a business suit. That's a great middle image. Um, do you have good relationships with a lot of the other business owners? I would say we have a very good working relationship. I worked for a certain company that looks out for the business interests and protection of certain companies that come to us with requests. Okay. Look, kid, are you on the up and up or what? Yeah, yeah, I was just kind of wondering what that was that you kind of did. Oh, okay. Well, I don't really like talking about it, but I guess if I'm going to start working with you guys, then maybe I should let you in a little bit.

But for now, let's just keep going. He burnt the place down one time. Did you know that? Did you recognize him? Gee, I just want to... You've got to be kidding me. Oh, like I said, kid, I know a lot more than you'd think. And the big bull men there, I heard what happened to you. Don't worry, the rest of them got their comeuppance. Damn right they did. They kicked me through a window. Oh, wait, now you're going to back off? You know you're out of line before. Um, Hondo. Hondo would know, and this is up to him whether he would like to share this with the rest of the party, but Hondo would know that Draconis is very much a wanted man in Durn Hollow.

So he recommends me already? Well, I mean, there are wanted posters. There is a reward for the capture of Draconis. Motherfucker set me up. There's a fair majority of people in Durn Hollow who blame Draconis squarely for what happened in the Honest Harlot, and they would love to see him dead. Interesting. How big's this reward? Sizable. I mean, for Durn Hollow, now they actually have a little money in their coffers to be able to offer a reward. I got some debts I need to square up, but we'll see. Well, Hondo hasn't told us, so we don't know. No, that's the thing.

So, give up your dish. Wait, my street wife check wouldn't have brought that out earlier? It's more a thing in Durn Hollow. It's not something that they're actively... because they were more focused on rebuilding. So that's more the message they're trying to send. It's like, okay, now we have protection, and now the harlot is underway. They're reconstructing it. It's more like, okay, now we can focus on vengeance. I was kind of operating on the assumption that at least Draconis was a wanted man there. Yeah, and that's kind of what Duncan's line of questioning to Hondo just was.

Is he safe bringing him into town? Relax, I got this. Don't worry about it. Come on. Alright, alright. You got it. He sounds really reassuring. I like him. I'm still reading. He's poorer than you. What's going on? Well, my plan's all ready to disguise myself before we go in there, so... Okay. Cool beans. Pretty good. I guess so. You guys have wasted quite a bit of time on the road, I'm gonna tell you. Seems like it. We're at Durn Hollow. Durn Hollow. Group one, everyone. Well, you've taken what essentially amount to a two and a half to three day trip, and turned it into a four and a half day trip.

This game changed my mind. Because you just pinballed back and forth between Winterhaven and Aubrey twice. I was starting to make a rut in the road. You made the trek to Aubrey, then turned around, and got about halfway back to Winterhaven, and then decided to turn back around and go back past Aubrey, and now you would be near Durn Hollow. Approaching Durn Hollow, Diana would be the first to see that the town itself is surrounded by patrolling Overwatch guards. That's great. These guards are clearly marked by the Overwatch tabard. They're wearing these big silvery looking tabards with the red Overwatch insignia.

And they kind of have the whole ensemble tied together with this red sash. It's gorgeous, really. And you can kind of see them marching in and out of town. They are very much, they have that town on lock. Okay. So I don't know how you'd like to approach. Oh, but she's gonna turn to Tondo. I mean, he's the one that tells them. So how are we getting in here? I probably want to disguise myself before we start doing this. I guess we're about to get in here. So I'm going to cast disguise self, and let's see, what do I want to be? Can I make myself look like a minotaur?

You can. You probably want to be human. That might be your best bet here. There's different people in Durn Hollow. The anomaly about Durn Hollow is that traditionally the Overwatch is exclusively human. The thing about Durn Hollow is that there's a little something of every race in Durn Hollow, and they don't seem to mind. Did it know that at all? Being the scum of the earth doesn't discriminate. No, poverty doesn't care. I've never seen anyone else besides humans there, so I didn't realize. My God. Who is that? That's gotta be Kelsey. Hey guys, 1994 is calling.

(laughter) Cava lives in Durn Hollow, she's a dragonborn. She even owns a house. No, they live in Bright Hill Fort. Oh, that's right. They live in here. Well, Hondo owns a business in Durn Hollow, he's a giraffe. Yeah, I thought that was an exception. Well, let's see here. We've never seen anyone. Una's from Durn Hollow, she's half-elf, but she didn't know she was half-elf. Yeah, did it? I'm trying to give some examples here. Artemis has ties in Durn Hollow, he's a gnome. Business man? Business, legitimate business man, Artemis. That's not like he lives there and stuff.

No, but yeah. You've only been there once, is the problem. Yeah, I mean, you're the one that said it was like the Alabama thing. Well, it is, but I meant poverty-stricken and desolate of hope. You ever been to Alabama? There's all kinds of races in Alabama. Yeah, there are. They just don't like it. Exactly, so that's what I was saying. There might be races here, but maybe if you're disguising yourself, being human would be your best bet. But really, I don't care. Totally up to you. I'll be a minotaur. A small dragonborn-sized minotaur. He's a smaller minotaur than me, you're right.

I want to be your right-hand man. So do me a favor, Draconis. Roll a bluff check. It says I only have to bluff when people are looking into my thing, I thought. Yes, but I mean, we have to have a bluff check to go by what they're... See, they're making an insight check versus your bluff check. Oh, okay. 17 then. Draconis is like a foot smaller than Yenward, so yeah, there's a pretty big size difference. I don't know if it says I can look like anybody. Yeah, he'll kind of like it. So he looks like... So Draconis looks like a minotaur, much in the same way Gary Busey looks like a human.

Kind of. Like his face is kind of sliding off a little bit, like he looks just a little off. Well, luckily he's a minotaur, so it's not like most people would be able to tell that. Oh! Wow. No, I'm just saying because their facial features are different, like in different races, like it makes sense. I know what the devil means, Hawkeye. That's an objective I wasn't trying to build. Why don't you fix your horns? Get off my face. Don't you have some family problems to deal with or something? Yeah, girl Malkus. I'll just, you know... At this point, I might as well just go off and find Malkus and get you better off joking up with him than with you, Lon.

If you find Malkus, let's get the reward. As time goes on, I just become more and more sympathetic as to why Malkus is not there anymore. I just say, "I could do it." I am. The cool thing is that you do get a +5 bonus to this check, so that's really a 23 we're looking at. Ooh, nice. I like that. So yeah, you look like a minotaur, just a little off. Other minotaurs would see you and go, "There's something not right about that guy." Like, "There's something... I bet he's a little..." It's like when you're looking at computer animation, the eyes, that thing.

What's that called? Um... okay, so... Are we riding into town? How are we approaching this? I would like to... I'm sorry. That's up to Hondo, right? Yeah. So, um, yeah. Before we get to the edge of Dunhollow, I look back at the group and realize that the dragon is now a minotaur. I just tilt my head and go, "Alright, okay." And then tell them, "Alright, we need to go around the back. Obviously you guys can't just walk in the front." So I leave them just to the right of Dunhollow, just off into the path. You guys are gonna have to ditch your horses, by the way.

I don't have one, so I'm good. I'm not on one. Can we, like, put them somewhere to come back to later, Jason? Well, you're not really in town. There's no hitching posts or anything. You're just kind of leaving them in this field, it sounds like. Can we hitch them by some trees or something? No, we can put them by trees. We can hobble them. You can hobble horses and they'll stay. Can I request from the group to talk to them real quick without Hondo? Sure. I mean, I'm asking them, "Do you guys have a minute? Can I talk to you guys?" Why do we want Hondo there?

Just a real quick question. Just a group thing. But we're doing this in front of Hondo, right? I know, yeah. I told them, "Just give us a minute." Does anybody want to come? I assume we're all coming. We like Hondo better. Alright, good. Well, okay. Instantly. So we get over there. So we get out of earshot or whatever and I'm like, "Listen, can we really trust this dude?" He's telling us to leave. You're the weak man. No, no. You just told him our whole plan and now you're asking us if we can trust him? He's leading us into Durnhollow with 300 people now, not 100.

And he wants us to leave our horses behind. Look. Was our horse going to protect me? If he was leading us towards the front. Wait, you're going to out? You just punched your horse! Yeah, no, yeah. That's our escape route, okay? That's how we get the hell out of here. If we need to hightail it, we get our horses and go. We can't outrun 300 dudes. I mean, if you guys really trust them, this is fine. But I'm saying this is a big deal. That's all I'm saying. I trust them more than I trust you right now. I just saw you punch a horse, dude. That's pretty uncool. Okay, you want to do this?

Let's do it. Oh, one more thing. That's a mention. What's your count is? Yeah. You look ridiculous. Well, I mean, I have a minotaur, so. Bad one. Alright, so if you guys want to do this, alright? I just wanted to make sure, I just wanted to bring this up that it seems a little weird, but okay. It's going to be fine. Okay, I just want to bring this to everybody's attention. If shit goes down, I don't want to be blamed this time. Someone sounds paranoid. It's the drugs talking. Okay, so we're going on. We're going back to Hondo. Hondo, I apologize for that. Oh, no, no, no, by all means, please.

So, you guys ready? We're more than ready. Ready for it. Alright. So, at this point, the coast is down, Hollow. Like, just as the patrols are going past, Hondo whistles. And then these, a bunch of kids just kind of scale out of a crack in the side of the wall. Like, about five of them pour out, and then they kind of open the fence, and then I look back at the party and go, "Let's go." It's your kingdom of heaven shit. Okay. Are they all Cuban? They're a variety. They're a mix of different races. I could have swore for half a second you said Cuban. I do. That's what I thought too.

For half a second. Are those Cuban children? Kill 'em all. No, okay, she's gonna follow. The way I envision is, during Hollow, I wasn't really surrounded by a wall necessarily, but there are walls and stuff that kind of cut off alleys and things like that. Like, there's no protection for the city, really. You can slip in anywhere, but there are little cutoffs and stuff. So, yeah, this would be a definite, like, it would be a view blocker. Like, you could definitely kind of sneak in this way. Almost there. Walter Conus is a minotaur. We're calling him Howie Firestomp.

Yinward's retarded little brother. Ha ha ha. Alright. Okay. Is everybody in? Yep. Okay, cool. So, I go, "Good job, kids," and I throw, just throw, like, five gold pieces on the floor, and the kids grab it and scout. And then we go, then we make our way to my, air quote, "shop," and we go in through the back. So, right now, you are all inside the city of Durn Hollow. Mm-hmm. And you are inside P's and Q's, was it? T's and Q's. T's and Q's. Okay. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Okay, so, what's going on? What's the plan here, kids? Well, okay, so, Winterhaven has a new king, right?

Or whatever they call their head guy. Lord. And he's a buddy of ours, and he wanted us to do him a favor and make Durn Hollow not an Overwatch thing. So, you want these guys to flip the script. Alright, um, well, listen, that's gonna be kind of difficult, but I'm not saying it's impossible, alright? They kind of want your dragon friend dead. A lot of people do, but, again, you know, we can, people can be reasoned with, right? Uh, so, I mean, we can get that, if we get that squared out the way first, then we can deal with the rest of it. I mean, I'm not sure about attacking these guys head on, but, you know, I can pull some strings.

If we can do it without them finding out who I am, though, that would probably be the best bet. How long can you keep up this, uh, abomin- I mean, disguise you got going on? Oh, yeah, I got about an hour or so. If we can try to move it along, you know? Well, you can stay here for all I care. I mean, the rest of these guys, they're okay. I have a feeling you guys are gonna need me. Just in case, I have a feeling you're gonna need me. I'm okay with leaving them here. You can all take a vote, it doesn't matter to me. Either way, we gotta get a move on here, guys.

Okay, let's just go. I'll go with you guys. And, um, does he have, like, a mayor house? Pfft. I don't know, a mayor castle, I don't know, where does he live? Uh, it's called a massle. That's where he lives. Um, no. Actually, he has a really, just a really quaint little place. He lives in the exact same place he lived in before the promotion. I don't even know if you'd call it that. The burdening? He just wants to make sure people don't die, that's all. Like, he is one of the few decent people from the old Durn Hollow. Like, he just doesn't want to see anybody get hurt.

Um, well, if everyone's ready, then we will just bounce to his massle. His house. He's going to the massle. Heading to the massle. Jason needs everything after him. It was mayor castle. Massle. Not the massy castle, right? It's, like, two letters off. I was thinking a different part of the word. You would. Grow up. Jesus. Love you, Tyler. Jesus. You can be over here if you need me. Okay, so we're in the massle. God dammit, that's not going to go away. Nope. Okay. So are you just walking into this guy's house? Yeah, I mean, they know me. The town knows me. They know you, but...

I assume that because we are now in the town, we're not going to get questioned by guards because, again, we're in the town. Do people recognize Yinward and Thor? I figured we would get recognized. Yinward would definitely get recognized. He's an eight-foot-tall bull man. Not with my fake mustache on it, they don't know you. He can hide behind the bushes again. New plan. Kids, you stay here. Daddy's going to go talk to the band. You stay here. All of you just sit here quietly, okay? Daddy will be right back. Are you bringing Ellis to us? Actually, Kelsey, you can come with me.

And, Kaunas, you can come with me. Because you're disguised now, so you two guys should. Diane is probably going to put her here. Duncan also doesn't know. They don't know who Duncan is. They don't know Duncan either. Actually, you know what? I'm going to just take Diana and Duncan. Okay. Y'all can just kick it in my place. Don't mess up any suits. We'll just sit here and try on some suits. Yeah, there's some tea in the back. Don't open the blinds. Do not fit the sign around. Duncan goes up to Yidwyrd and Thoril and very seriously looks at him and goes, "Guys, don't worry.

If anything goes wrong, I've got this taken care of, okay?" We trust you. We believe in you, and then Thoril puts on his fist. I put my fist up. Fist bump. I'll miss you guys. Okay. Hey, good luck. I turn to Hondo and I take a deep breath and I go, "I'm ready." Okay, let's do this. She's probably going to put the hood up. I imagine she wears a cloak type thing over her armor, so she's probably going to put her hood up, sort of just not clear that she's a tiefling, since they tend to have even a worse reputation. Well, there have been some very famous tieflings that have not helped.

Probably best to just lay low while they're walking through. Usually portrayed as monsters, because of the awful reprehensible decisions they seem to make. Okay. And they can grow spider legs and bat wings. Where did the spider legs thing come from? Fucking wrong. He crawled down a spade. Okay, he has a move called spider scuttle. It's like Spider-Man. It's not like he grows legs. Yeah, but this makes it sound scarier. His eyes also turn into snakes. Oh, is that what that does? Okay. Anyways, so we're going to... So you... Okay, you're going to... Derren Hollow is not a huge place, so getting to Elis' house is not super time consuming.

So let's say five minutes go by and you have arrived at Elis' house. Okay. I'm just going to look at the party before we go in. Just keep a level head. Just follow my lead, all right? Understood. No problem. Anyways. That's what I do. Knock on the door. So excited I get to use my good skill checks. Elisara Way is going to answer the door and see Hondo. Do me a favor, roll a perception check, you three. Dang. I think it's on. So Hondo, what do you see? I see everything. I'm kidding. Hondo's going to recognize the same look that comes over Elis' face every time he sees Hondo and that is one of general frustration.

More... just like... Yeah, just like that look. That look that like you are instantly on thin ice with this person all the time. Great way to start this off. So Elis is going to look at Hondo. Hondo? Elis, make him in. And Elis is going to kind of look at the two... your two companions and then after a moment he's going to sidestep the doorway and kind of make a motion for you all to step in. Okay. So we go inside? I would imagine. You refuse to go in. It's a negotiation power play. Ask to come in, get what you want, and then refuse it. Can I do it for you, Hondo?

Alright. So Elis, you're a man now, right? Technically, yeah. No, no. There's no technically about it. You're a man now, right? You know the situation. I'm only in charge as long as the Overwatch needs us. And that's what we're here to talk about. You and I both know we don't want the Overwatch here. And before you tell me, "Hey, listen, we need them to protect us, da da da da da," you know what we spoke about and the time has come to enact that. Diana's going to take her hood off at this point, but lower the hood, so... Oh, so Elis, I'm being incredibly rude.

Please, Diana, introduce yourself. My name is Diana, and she kind of motions towards Duncan. Elis is going to hold his hand out. She was waiting for Duncan to introduce himself. I was waiting for Jason. Well, the second you... "Hi, I'm Diana," he's going to hold his hand out. Elis. She's going to kind of look at his hand for a second, kind of almost visibly steal herself and then shake it. Very sort of quickly take it back. They can take her hand back afterwards. He is going to register that. Okay. Duncan just chimes in, "I'm Duncan Joybaton." He's slow. You may remember me from such films as... [Laughter] Elis is going to reach his hand out to shake Duncan's.

Duncan puts his fist up. Elis is going to take a second and then just bump your fist. He is apparently familiar with bardic tradition. And Duncan gives him a nod and just kind of smiles at him. Alright, so Hunter looks at us, "Look, Elis, I don't want to waste your time here. You know that this town is going to be huge when this war is all done. But you need to pick the right side. And you know that the Overwatch, it ain't good for business. When you've all gone, I'm here now. And I told you, I promised you that I would bring this town back up to its feet.

And you promised me you would do everything in your power to make that happen. So I'm calling you out. It's time for you to flip the script." We are from Winterhaven. We are here to assist you in getting rid of the Overwatch influence and to take you under the Winterhaven's protective wing instead. "Elis, don't be stupid now. Make the right choice. You know these guys, they just took out pretty much all the Warforged. The guys here, they're kids. They don't know what they're doing." If your city is in a good position, if your town, I don't know. But you are in a good position geologically.

You have the opportunity to become quite a better place for all the people that live here. But if you continue to side with the Overwatch, that is likely going to go the opposite direction. I don't think any of us here want that. Duncan chimes in. "Are you aware of what happened with the Warforged?" "Yeah, we heard about it." "Yeah, the Overwatch's numbers are nothing anymore. We still got a huge army waiting back in Winterhaven for us. So if you want to be on the winning end of this, probably want to come with us." "Uh, Elis is gonna, okay, so when Duncan says that, Elis is gonna kind of have a look come across his face like, um, this kind of..." "Should we evolve world diplomacy checks, or..." "Uh, go ahead, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say go ahead and roll the diplomacy check." "37!" "Almost crit!" "24!" "Oh wait, do I have, oh man, my diplomacy is so crappy, oh my god!" "It's okay, I have enough, right?

He already did it like Hondo, he doesn't need to listen to him." "Yeah, that's... I don't think you know what you're up against." "They've lost the War Forge, I'll grant you that, but you understand they have an entire army full of humans?" "Yes, we understand that we have an entire, and now as far as I understand, sufficiently larger army full of monohumans." "And the fact remains, if you continue to side with the Overwatch, we will beat them and then there are at least a few of those armies that will be returning to their homes and passing right by Overwatch." "Dragonborn, Dwarves, to name a few, as you likely know, very species that would not probably pass up the opportunity to get rid of this Overwatch town." "That sounds like an intimidating thing." "No, she's not intimidating, she's just like, I'm not done talking yet, shut up." "Oh sorry, wow!" "Your town has the opportunity to become something better, it would be best for you to give it that opportunity, we don't want to see this place be destroyed." "Should I roll a bluff check for that?" "End of the book, senior." "Uh, well okay, hold on." "Okay, I was saying we, that doesn't have to be..." "Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on." "Um, yeah, Diana's saying that she doesn't want to see it destroyed?" "Okay, yeah, that's a bluff." "I'd say that's a bluff." "Yes, 28!" "Nice." "I'll even roll an 8." "And do I need diplomacy for what I..." "Um, yes, please." "31." "Jesus, okay." "Oh, I love these rolls, I love these free skills are my favorite." "Look, I don't want to see the Overwatch in control any more than you do. The fact of the matter is, Winterhaven wasn't there when we needed them.

We reached out to them." "Winterhaven is under new leadership now." "Really?" "Yeah, Hunter's gonna turn his head and look at them and go, 'Please, educate us.'" "She's gonna look towards the dog again." "Um, well, you see, Winterhaven used to be under the control of a guy named Ian, and he got power very, how do I put it, underhandedly. He did what he had to do, killed who he had to kill, and got power. But the thing about Ian is that he was a coward. He was afraid of confrontation. When I tried to get him to help us and send troops into the battlefield from Winterhaven, the town which we were protecting, he refused, and then he punished the soldiers who did come out and decide to help us.

Or he said he was going to punish them. So now, Winterhaven is under control of his son, who is named Nathaniel. He may be a bit young, but honestly, he's pretty impressionable. And we kind of got his ear. The old leader of Winterhaven wouldn't even defend his own town. And we got our orders to come here and defend yours from the Overwatch from the new leadership. They are already taking pains to try and make friends and protect your town, if I understand correctly. Do I need to roll diplomacy check after explaining all that stuff? No, do I need rumble too?

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. I would say that's unnecessary, mostly because that's an exposition dump. Got it. Though, I will say that you explaining to him who Ian is, is like me saying, "See, there's this President Obama." I don't know, but I don't know. No, no, I know, I know. I'm telling you that Winterhaven is a major city. People know. Just letting you know. Because it's tough to know what cities and towns know about each other. Well, especially Duncan. Duncan doesn't know any. Right, yeah, no, I know. I'm just saying to him, "See, there's this guy named Ian." And he's like, "Yeah, I'm aware." Does what I say count as a diplomacy?

I would say that counts as diplomacy. Thirty-two. We're being pretty convincing, I mean. Yeah, it's not like you're making a bad case for yourselves. And he seems to kind of ponder this over. Look, if we could somehow get the protection that the Overwatch offers without actually having them in town, that would be fantastic. But the truth of the matter is we have no leadership. We have no infrastructure until we're finished rebuilding the harlot. I mean, the girls are back to work and we've driven out most of the illegal drug element. And he's looking at Hondo.

Kind of noticed that. I mean, not that it wasn't... A small smirk just comes across his face. We just don't have enough of a legitimate business. Okay, Hondo's gonna look at him directly in the eye and say, "Ellis, it's time to call for your city to be an independent state." And as soon as you do that, Winterheaven will come and protect you, as it were. It's coming to a point where you don't really have a choice anymore, man. I don't want to have to be that guy, but I'm gonna be that guy. Having a small army in your town doesn't exactly encourage other people to come and start up businesses.

I'm gonna ask that Hondo make a diplomacy check, please. Can I make an intimidation check that's better than my diplomacy check? He said it very seriously. Yeah, the end of it kind of had the ring of a threat, so... Okay, go ahead. Okay. Intimidate. Oh, come on! Greatness. But I said something after, could I roll a diplomacy for that and maybe like... Well, let's resolve that first and then we're gonna... Try and... If we're starting to threaten, I can get on that. Ellis is gonna take half a step forward towards Hondo. I don't really like to be threatened, Hondo.

The fact of the matter is, we tolerate you here. You offer something we need, and that's... You offer something we need. Let's not be delusional about this. One day, we're gonna turn the town around and you won't be needed anymore. He's gonna nod his head and slowly pick up his head and go, "Ellis, when your little whorehouse got burned down, who bought you new girls? When your little walls got a little fucked up, who bought you the building material? Who got you the armor you're wearing right now, you son of a bitch?" And at that point, he's gonna smack him across the face.

Just smack him across the face. This is group one. Okay. That's an intimidate check. That is an attack, is what that is. Can I move to stop him? Uh, you? Okay. Not that I'd find anything related to that. Let's do this. Let's do this. Okay. So... Shot. Ellis is about to get murdered. He's not careful. Let's do this. I would say based on the tone of voice that Hondo is taking and the build up to it... Roll a perception check for me, Diana. Great! Okay, so nothing. Never mind. She doesn't pick up on the fact that that's gonna turn violent. I will. Can I roll a perception check?

Yeah, go ahead. Give it a shot. Go ahead. Seventeen. That's not gonna be quite enough to pick up. I wasn't gonna stop him anyway. If you will. Do me a favor. Hondo, roll a basic melee attack. Okay. It's in powers, right? Yup. Let me bring up Ellis. How do I do that? Wait. Twenty-two versus Siphi? That's gonna miss. Aw. As Dunuz, he... I'll let Erewhay respond, but... So, Jason, is there anything I can do? 'Cause I need to have the upper hand right now, like, to hit him or to hold him down. Or just to yell, like, to Duncan. Say, grab him or something. Well, I mean, you took a swing and missed, so let's first...

I need us to step between them. Okay, one second. Ellis has to respond, right? Yeah, that's what was... Yeah. So, Hondo is going to take a swing at Erewhay, and Erewhay is just going to kind of narrowly, like, pull his head back and kind of get a look, come a... Motherfucker! Like, you just took a swing. Like, he is insulted and... Ellis is going to go ahead and reach for his... reach for the hilt of his longsword and start to pull it out of his scabbard. Diana's gonna step between them, like, kind of like, "Whoa, now that's not..." Okay, she's just gonna say to just, like, "Look, if the two of you want to duke it out somewhere, we can leave.

We're not trying to start a fight here." And she's kind of turning towards Ellis and just like, "I understand your reservations about this, but we're here to try and do this peacefully. If we go back and report that we were unable to succeed in this, then it is only a matter of time before the Winterhaven Army does come this way. We... This is your chance to not have to resort that. You can get on our side and then we can work together to end this." Diplomacy? Diplomacy, please. -Boom. -Fifty-six. Gorgeous. Eloway... Eloway... Erwae is gonna take a deep breath and kind of, like, slide the sword back and take his hand off of it and kind of hold his hand up like, "All right." It's good cop...

It's good cop, bad cop right now. That's what's going on. That's what's happening. That's the canon. That's what's going on. I didn't miss. I did it on purpose. I mean, if we had, like, coordinated this beforehand, it might have worked out. We could work really well together, but... We didn't... No, just go on. What's... Sorry, Jason. Please continue. No, no. It's not like they're just gonna leave if I ask them to, right? That's what I just said to you. Claim your independence. You are the acting mayor. Take that power. We will then come in and protect you. It is that simple.

If you would rather us go and get some forces from Winterhaven first before doing anything, that is a possibility. They cannot make a declaration of war against you as an independent state or else that will be considered, well, treasonous to their own order. So we're good. Just call yourself independent. Um, I always kind of look at Hondo. You are so absolutely full of shit. It's amazing. Do you really think they care? Mm, he has a point. Um, okay. This is where Duncan chimes in. And he looks up and he goes, "Look, I told you. We got the ear of the leader of Winterhaven.

Not only that, but the army's outside Winterhaven. They listen to us. We have a lot of power in this situation. If you want us to go back and get whatever help you need before you do this, we can do that, okay? Like, we can bring more people here than you have here right now. And that won't be a problem." That could be a very good idea, to be honest. Okay. I know of many people in town who don't want the Overwatch here, but we also don't want a situation like what we had a few weeks ago. That should not happen again, hopefully. Um, hm. Speaking of which, is Malkus still working with Winterhaven?

Malkus Grimnus has disappeared. What do you mean disappeared? We have no idea where he went, unfortunately. I do not know anything more of the subject. What about the rest of his party? I'm right here. And, and, Alyssa's gonna look down at Duncan. I don't remember seeing you the last time. He and I are recent additions to... Hey, hey, hey. What? Well... I was dead. Alyssa's gonna look... And then he's gonna look over at Diana. Is he mentally handicapped or something? Did she just kind of like... No, I was... ...check your head, but it's best not to ask, just kind of like, don't ask anything.

No, Duncan's done with this. I was dead, and I came back to life to help these guys. That's the honest... I don't have to roll a bluff check. That is the truth. The thing is that Diana totally believes you. She's seen much stranger stuff, so it's not even like a question, but she's just like telling, like, let's just not get into that right now. I really don't think it'd be hard to drum up enough support here in town, to be honest. We could, if we wanted to, we could get rid of the guards here in town with just the population of Durnhollow. But again, with no one to take over to protect us, there's just no point.

If you have a dedicated force that would come from Winterhaven and stay here... Can I... So Duncan kind of looks at Diana and goes, "Before we... why don't we go back and talk to the rest of our group and see if maybe... Because I'd hate to sit here and..." And I look back at Alice and I go, "I'd hate to sit here and bullshit you and say, 'Yes, 100% I will get somebody in this town before you make your decision, and I want to be straight up with you. I don't want to sit here and lie to you right now.' So why don't you not make a decision till we come back with the troops?" But if you give me your word that if we come back with the troops, that you'll declare your independence and you'll come to our side, then I think we can have a deal.

All right. I think that sounds fair enough. Okay. Diana's gonna nod. She's like, "When we return, we'll come in the back wagon, or send someone to let you know of exactly what's gonna be happening, and so you can do what you need to." All right. All right. I'll be here. Okay. So that conversation took about, let's say, 10 minutes or so, another five minutes to walk back to the shop. Let's have this be the last little scene and then we'll let Jake go. Yeah. Okay. So the party has returned to Hondo's shop. Guys, I was awesome. You should have seen me. Diana's just gonna raise an eyebrow and say, "Yeah, it's okay." So did it work?

Is everything good? Yes. We, just kind of pointedly, we managed to convince Ellis that it would be best for him to ally with Winterhaven. So we're going- Oh, well, well, well. And Duncan says, "By the way, yes, Diana did help out. It was we. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you." We have to go back and convince Nathaniel to send troops with us back here to protect Dernhollow. And if we do that, then he'll declare himself independent and then we'll probably have to fight. So we need to go talk to the little brat, is what you're saying. He has a name. Okay? It's the king, Nathaniel.

He's- Winterhaven doesn't have a king. King Nathaniel. And show of hands real quick. It's a manger. Show of hands. Show of hands. I say we take Hondo with us. Who's in? Agreed. Duncan, raise his hand. Dan's gonna nod like, "Yeah." I said show of hands. I put up my bull hand, but I'm wearing a bunch of watches out of Hondo's store. Wow. I'm still worked out. I, uh, yeah. I'm in. So yeah, Thorol's gonna raise his hand too. And it will reluctantly raise your hand. Hondo's gonna look at the group and go, "Into what? What the hell are you talking about?" So that's what Duncan- Duncan goes up to Hondo.

Yeah, wait, do we even know if he wants to come with us? Yeah, you're with us. I was making the decision. Now I'm going over to Hondo. Hondo, we want you to come with us back to Winterhaven. We want you to be a part of our group. We think you're great and we think you'll fit in perfectly. Uh, to- to- to- and I was gonna interject. She's like, "Perhaps not for forever. Just-" Forever. Forever and ever. Ever. You're a voice from- from Durn Hollow and I- you clearly have a vested interest in this town. I assume you might want to come with us and negotiate what- how we're gonna be helping them and you might be a help to us in that matter.

So let me get this straight. You rebels- I mean, 'cause technically in the eyes of the Overwatch, you're terrorists. You want me to gro- join your little club? Yeah. Yeah. We think you're great. Seems that way. Okay, let me make something very, very clear. You are enemies of the state. I am a legitimate businessman. If I were to work with you, I would say that you would have to look away at a few discrepancies I might make. And also be able to help me out in certain positions. Diana's- Diana's going to laugh at that, like, don't worry. That will certainly not be a problem.

You witnessed our- our Draconis is already in- Oh no, he's already in my debt. He owes me for that purple. Listen- Wait, did you give it to him? Oh no, I made it- yeah, I made him some, yeah. There's some in the shop anyway, that's cool. Um, I'm a push it, man. So I'm- I'm gonna say it to grip, okay. Uh, well, alright, I could, uh, I could run with you guys for a little bit. But, uh, let me make this very, very clear. Do not ever cross me, and no killing kids, alright? Crisscross applesauce. She- Diana will smile and nod. Yeah, okay. Cool. I never want to kill kids.

Kids robbed me once, but- And they were the same kids that let- The same kids that robbed you were the same kids that let you in, but you didn't realize, but it's okay. [Laughter] Can we make kids- [Laughter] Sometimes people- I knew it when it happened, I'm like, hey. Yeah. Not everyone can have a fucking Lord of the Thieves gang of kids following them around. Be Florida. Yeah, that's a good book. That's a really good book. Yeah. I'm a fucking moneybag, I'm gonna smash your- You know what's kind of funny is I thought about that too, it's like, I didn't know if like, Yenward was gonna have like this little thing about like, kids now. [Laughter] No, like, honestly, like, if they're not human, it's great.

Even then, like, kids are kind of- It has a bit of a soft spot for them, like, I don't know, like, when she was like talking about like, getting rid of them, like, when they're in, still in the inn and stuff, like, I'm not sure if she would actually would have gone through with that, but. So we're heading back to Winterhaven, sounds like. So can I like, keep these watches? [Laughter] There are no watches there. Hey, don't worry about that, those are full gold anyway. Yeah, those are not the same watches. They're not worth a lot. [Laughter] You can keep them if you want, sure kid.

Now, if Yenward would like to make a thievery check to take something from the shop. [Laughter] Okay. He just said don't cross them in like a way that he's gonna kill us if you- Right, but this would be before they came back, like, Yenward's just standing around in the shop and it's like, 'cause he's a minotaur, that's kind of what they do, it's like, oh these are shiny, I like these. Yeah, just grabbed a bunch of garments that fit in my bag. It's like he doesn't even need a steeze. [Laughter] They're just sticking out of my bag. Yeah, that's the thing.

So he like puts them on his hoards, like, sticking out. Right, like he's got some scarves and stuff and they're just kind of, like he's a really bad shoplifter. Like, they're just, shit, if that's what we're gonna do, I'll steal some stuff too. Oh my god. Yeah, man, that's all. Howie can steal some stuff. Yeah, and you're calling me the scumbag over here. So does Hondo want to respond to the fact that he sees- You guys are legitimately robbing me? Oh my god. Rob is a strong word. Yedver doesn't understand the concept of- Yeah, Yedver doesn't see a stealing, he's kind of like- I just like it, so it's fine.

Right. What's mine and what yours is mine too. Mine. It's like he does- Mine, that's it. It's not malicious, he's just, he doesn't understand the concept of ownership. Although Hondo might not know that. So, right, no. Well, let him address it if he wants to. You're robbing me, you're robbing me right now. 999, you're robbing me. No, I'm gonna look again and just ask him, what did I say about touching the suits? What's going on? Duncan looks at Hondo and goes, hey, he's a little slow, okay? We don't like to talk about it. Hey, you're the slow one. No, I like these, so.

Okay, how about this? How about you put those down, I'll get your measurements, you know, and I'll make you something nice. Alright, boom man. I'll give you half of them. He's just gonna take a deep breath and go, alright, whatever, let's go. Going back to Callie, let's go. Come on, Howie. This is just, just keep going like back and forth. Okay, we're going to Dirt Hollow, now we're going to an event, now we're going to Dirt Hollow. My feet hurt. We're not even walking, his horse is doing- Is there an email system or text messaging? We need some of those, like the White Raven things, the birds, the messenger pigeons.

Okay, I'll leave it in your capable hands. You are traveling once again back to Winterhaven. Now you have been on the road essentially for days and days now. You have, you were moving towards Dirt Hollow, got to about, we got to Aubrey, turned back, then got nearly back to Winterhaven, turned back, went all the way to Dirt Hollow, spoke to Ellis Arroway, you visited Hondo's shop, and now you're turning back and you're going back to Winterhaven. You have almost wasted a week on this excursion. When you say it like that it sounds bad. Wasted is a strong term, if you guys can complete this mission and get it done it'll be a good thing.

Wasted is a strong term. Is there anything you guys would like to talk about in transit? Time management. Um, okay, we should get our act together here before we barge in and start. First off, after your little stunt and I look over at your conus, we're probably going to have to talk our way out of looking like fools in Winterhaven now. I had to make some strong promises to Ellis back at Dirt Hollow that we, you know, have the ear of Nathaniel and we're going to kind of go in there and look like, I don't want to say fools, is that a strong word? Fools?

But we're probably going to have to talk our way out of that. And then we're also, our good friend Horn's here and I point over at Diana. She said, or her plan was that we need to get the armies together, march to the Overwatch, stopping at Dirt Hollow first and leaving some of the army there, correct? Not the entire army. So who are we taking with us? A smaller portion of soldiers say 500 or so, just enough to clear off the Overwatch influence in Dirt Hollow. Right, but what you were saying before is that we're going to take the whole army, leave 500 there, and then take the rest of them into the Overwatch.

No, what I had said was that the majority of the Overwatch, I mean the majority of the army head towards the Overwatch while a branch of it still goes to the Overwatch but by way of Dirt Hollow. Then we continue pushing back the Overwatch forces starting at Dirt Hollow so that there's no real need to leave too many soldiers behind there. So who is going to lead the armies to the Overwatch? Which section? The ones that are going to be charging into the Overwatch without us there. Presumably the leaders of the respective sections or races. Whoever is supposed to be in charge of them I'm not really aware of that.

Well it's kind of us. So this is the point we need to discuss and figure out what exactly we're going to be doing here. We haven't exactly gotten that impression but that is the case. I look over at Yinward, that's kind of us right? Well I'm second banana but I'm close. But yeah it's been made clear to me that I'm not in charge. I just mean in terms of, like we've been game planning this whole thing. So if we show up to Nathaniel and we're trying to convince him that now is the time, we're going to have to have a pretty strong argument. Especially if we're going to say, "Oh and by the way we're sending Orcs and Dwarves alongside each other to fight unguided." I didn't realize there were Orcs in the world.

I mean not Orcs, I'm sorry I meant Minotaurs. They all look alike. No that was actually a slip of the tongue, I apologize. That was just shit. No if we're sending Minotaurs and Dwarves to get along without anyone there to keep the peace between them, that could be the issue. Unless we take the Minotaurs with us. That could work, we could take... Yes. How many Minotaurs are there? Do we know? Yinward? He's good at math. The one that can't read or count. No wait I'll just... Many. Just holds up his hooves, this many. God, Jason. I'll stretch my arms, many. What about Thorol and Thorol?

How many? Thorol just looks again, we're just... Yeah, many. Jason, God, do we have a... Do we have a number? I thought it was like five, six thousand. Five thousand? Yeah, fifteen hundred. Okay, fifteen hundred. That's what Yinward said, there was not five thousand. Okay, yes. So here's a thought, here's a thought. What if we take five hundred of the Minotaur with us to Durnhollow? I'm sorry, why don't we take the fifteen hundred Minotaur with us to Durnhollow, leave five hundred there, and then take the other thousand with us to the Overwatch? And that'll leave Durnhollow with a pretty capable group of people to watch over them.

Maybe leave three hundred there, five hundred is a bit much. Hey, you were the one that said five hundred there, okay ladies? Five hundred there to fight off the Overwatch, not how many we were gonna leave behind. Can I ask you something? Yes. Y'all, you got some army up there, but uh... Ooh, which one of you is like the leader here? I pointed Thoreau. Thoreau raised his hand. So... Because fuck you guys. I'm trying to understand here if you know... Do we have a saying in this? From what I gathered, Nathaniel, whoever this child is, is in charge of you, so...

No. In charge of who? Wait, to who? He's not in charge of you. Collectively, he's the one that gave you the orders in regards to Durnhollow, yes? The fucker's not in charge of me. He doesn't exactly give us orders. He asked us to do him a favor and we're doing it. I don't know, the kindness of the heart. Okay, I don't understand what's going on here. This Nathaniel kid asked you to come to Durnhollow to clear out the soldiers, correct? Yes. And now we're going back to ask his permission for your army. No. If it was your army, then why would you be so willing to just leave it behind?

If you're supposed to be commanding it, it would make more sense to stay with it, right? Especially if you do have several races that aren't exactly on friendly terms. I gotta agree with the horn lady, because... I mean, how long have you guys been out on the road anyway? I've brokered the appropriate deals, it is fine. Don't even worry about that. How long have you been on the road? Uh, well I was dead for 17 years. I don't mean in general. I mean, how long did it take you to get here and where we are now? It's taken us about a week. Right, so you've been away for a week, and now your army without leaders is doing what exactly?

Uh, waiting for us to come back. Waiting for you to come back. Are you sure about that? Alright, okay, alright. What does this say? We're gonna find... what, you want me to send an email? We're gonna find out. What is this email? You really need those carrier pigeons. I heard about it in the song. I'm just saying, you are making assumptions that might not necessarily... do you even have... Do you know for certain that they view you as being, like, somewhat of a leader? Yeah. Absolutely. They've listened to it. Here's a question for you, lady. Would you rather walk into a place that we just burnt down without discussing it beforehand with the information that we have?

I mean, I know we don't have all the information, but it's a good thing to get something in stone before we walk in, right? I'm trying to be more organized. No, no, I agree. I'm just trying to figure out exactly what is going on, because what you're saying and what has happened don't really add up. What we're saying is that we amassed this army. Well, they amassed this army. We have quite a bit of say in what goes on with them. I watched you interact with two of the leaders, three of the leaders of the races, and it didn't really seem like... Are they fighting each other?

No, but... Oh! Very... Interesting. [Laughter] Convincing them not to fight each other is not the same thing as being in charge. He's a king! Time out! I've heard enough of this bullshit. What are you guys even talking about right now? [Laughter] You guys are bickering, like, back and forth, back and forth. Let's fucking figure something out and let's do something. [Laughter] Sorry. Let's go get ourselves, let's go get ourselves... Okay, she thought 300, he thought 500. Let's just get 400 minotaur, bring it over here. 500 to go there to begin with, leaving behind 300 when we leave.

Okay, then let's do that. This is why we don't organize things, people. Because when we... [Laughter] I'm trying to get a foothold here. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Practice with organization would be better at it. We fared pretty well without organization. We fared pretty well before you came along. Really? Have you? You guys don't realize you're in a war. Why are we winging this? I got... You guys have an army. Can we not just... I don't... What did I sign up for? Listen, we're trying... I'm trying to... I understand why Malgus left. I'm trying to lay out the situation.

If you guys don't want to be a part of it... You're more than welcome to leave. Look, no one's trying to leave anywhere. We're all trying to get to the same goal here. I'm trying to understand how many guys we're bringing and what kind of force we're bringing so we know what the hell we're doing. Okay, what I'm trying to do right now is I'm trying to figure out how many we're taking to Durn Hollow and how many we're sending to the Overwatch. Because it's time to get this done. So... Why don't you show a full force and bring the entire army? I don't understand.

This is just one stepping stone. No, all of the forces are going to the Overwatch. Just... We will be leading some of them through Durn Hollow to clear off the Overwatch soldiers. And who will be commanding the army that is welcome to go to Overwatch? I'm with Hondo. I say we take the whole group to Durn Hollow first and then go to Overwatch. That would take more time going through... Wait. Jason. Mm-hmm? Is going through Durn Hollow to the Overwatch, would that be longer than just going straight from Winterhaven to... Well, that's assuming you're all trying to take the road.

If you're taking an army, you're not taking the road. Yeah. You could, but there's really no sense. You go by our line. Right. If they just show up and, you know, I'd rather them show up with us. I'd rather us show up in one... I'm with Hondo. I'd rather show up in one giant force. And it's not like... It would be a better chance... The entire army by ways of Durn Hollow would take longer if we had much longer. We don't necessarily have that amount of time. Especially with... How's it gonna take much longer than... I mean, we're still gonna get to the same time.

Not necessarily. The majority of the army could very well reach it. We're not picking them up and moving them. They're walking. We don't have to carry them. So they won't be able to move at the same pace. On our backs, one by one. I don't think you understand. Distances are different depending on... No, I understand that. But us, us, us, this group right here. Whether we send people straight to Overwatch or go through Durn Hollow and then to Overwatch, we will end up there at the same time. I'd rather the army have us with them. So I'm saying let's take the entire army to Durn Hollow and then the entire army to Overwatch.

That would take too long. I don't think... The time has been affected for a very long time. I agree with the Dwarf. I believe that we should get a full force. We've already given Carter enough time to recover from losing the Warforged. If we give him even any more extra than is absolutely necessary, I'm not sure. Chances which are likely already slim would be much better. Thoril, you're the leader. What do you think? He is not the leader. I refuse to accept this. I'm the leader. Yenn, we're your leader. What do you think? I'd say... Wait a second. Hey, up, up, up, up.

I think that the minotaurs that we leave in Durn Hollow will be in capable hands because they will be washed over by Laris Darko. It's our argument. You're making my head hurt. Let's go. I'm just gonna take the rest. You know what? Let's ask Nathaniel what he wants to do. Let's talk to him too. Here's what I'd like everyone to do right now. Roll a perception check for me. Are we in Winterhaven? You are approaching Winterhaven. Sure, sure. Crit! Yeah! Almost a crit miss. Thoril and Duncan and Yennward. Aw shit. Approaching Winterhaven. And Hondar? Nope. Oh yeah, Hondar.

Yeah, that's right. 24. I didn't see a perception next to the roll. I was like, oh shit. The 19 gets it but not the 24. There's this weird area where you can be too perceptive but not quite perceptive. Minotaurs have really good eyesight. Fucking eagle eye. Yeah, I was looking at the perception roll and that's not a perception roll technically. So, I fucked up. Approaching Winterhaven. You guys are going to notice, well everyone except for Diana and Triconus are going to notice that just about all of the armies that were standing in front of Winterhaven are now gone.

Ah, I told you so many times. I was in charge and you guys weren't. Everyone loves an "I told you so" versus this. Yeah, you're really charming. That person makes all the friends. Yep. Third week, really good time to say I told you so. Oh yeah guys, we're totally in charge so let's go tell them what to do and then they're gone. I was in character, Jesus Christ. No, I'm not saying I didn't see you as a person. But you didn't notice so you wouldn't have been seeing that. I know, that was an out of character comment about the characters not directed towards you.

I'm sorry. Mommy and Daddy are fighting again. Relax guys, come on. I'm not trying to see you. I can see what's happening and you guys, it's all in character guys, relax. I called Dan having custody of me. I'm trying to be lighthearted and make a joke. I'll teach you. You started it Jason. He started it. Again, that was a joke. It was like, ugh. This is a nice tense session guys, come on, relax. I'm just not going to say anything, okay. Oh. Okay, shut up. Now let's... Yes, shh. Approaching Winterhaven, all of the armies that used to be parked out in front of the city have now gone.

You do notice a very conspicuous set of tracks from the Minotaur and the Drow and the dwarves and all of these races that were parked out front of the city marching south along the road. It would appear as though they are heading towards the Overwatch. There are some people still in front of the city though. And let's see here, of the people who rolled Perception, Yenward, Duncan, and Thoril. Hondo. Nope, not Hondo. Yenward, Duncan, and Thoril are going to recognize Poteutillo. Who is standing with a huge grouping of ravens directly out front of the city.

About how many? We're looking at about 700 ravens. Cool. So this is a huge pack. This is the most ravens you've ever seen gathered in one place. So there's our strike team. Yeah, I'd say so. I guess Thoril will approach Poe, just since he notices him. So I would imagine the rest of you are just riding up to Winterhaven, there's really no reason to know. Yeah. Yeah, so. Poe's going to see you approach and kind of walk over to Thoril. And kind of hold out his hand. Oh hey, how you guys doing? Thoril's going to extend his hand as well. And just say, "It's been a trying few days." Huh.

You guys okay? We're doing a little bit better. You missed the army. They marched south. You don't say. Yeah, it kind of seems like it. The trench that seems to have been dug by all the footprints. I assume they're going straight for the Overwatch. Specifically White Wolf Valley, but yeah, they're marching south. Who gave the orders? Nathaniel's calling shots now, from what I understand. Diana's not going to say anything, but she's going to look at Duncan and raise an eyebrow. Smack her with your guitar. Well, Nathaniel's in charge of Winterhaven, and these troops are in Winterhaven, so I feel that he perhaps would have some right to sort of, you know, instruct them to where they need to go.

Honestly, I'm just glad that he had the gall to do it. I didn't think he was ready for it, so. It's a big step. I think we should talk to him. You missed him by a couple of days. Oh, he's with them? Yeah. They left two days ago? Yeah, it was a little over two days ago actually. I just want to make sure, I'm not standing there, correct? Yeah, yeah. I thought a couple people just walked over to him, okay. Add a game question. How long does it take us to get to Dernhall and back? About two and a half days. Yeah, so he didn't wait long for us to leave before he just took the army.

No, he did. He waited days. Yeah, we were gone for like a week, man. Okay, well, he said two and a half days to, I don't know. Right, you left to go to Dernhall, got to Albury, came back, then went back to Dernhall. Yeah, good, good. So exactly how many days did he wait though? Like, exactly? Probably like a week. About five, five and a half days. So he wanted us to do all that shit in five days? Well, he didn't expect, the thing is, he didn't expect us to take as long as we did. There was, okay, you remember how tensions were running high? They even, like, he talked, they were kind of talking about it, like, we're going to have to do something soon, or the army's going to eat itself alive because they're just sitting there.

Yeah. He waited as long as he expected us to be back, which would have been five days had we not kind of taken the little detour. And he probably waited as long as he could have without, like, giving the army something to do. So at this point it's really just convincing Poe and the White Ravens to start heading towards Dernhall possibly? Mm-hmm. Sounds like it, I don't know. I mean, we... Um, because at this point that's all we can really do. We need people for Dernhall. We can take them and then we'll figure out the war here. Or perhaps talk to Poe about it then.

Yeah. So you guys just want to let them go down to Overwatch alone? They kind of already are down there. Not... they're on their way to the... They're on their way there, but it's going to take us a while just to get... meet up with them, so we might as well get done what we said we were going to get done. Yeah, it would take us maybe about a day, because if they've been around for two days it's a lot larger. So let me get this straight, you guys are just like, "Okay, you know, they're gone, they're going to go fight Overwatch, we'll go to Dernhall." Is that what you guys are saying to me right now?

What do you want to do, you want to throw a fit? They're gone, we can't do anything. It's either go complete what we do in Dernhollow or say, "Screw Dernhollow" and go down to Overwatch. But if we do that right now, then we're leaving... we just told Ellis we'd be back to help them out. He's about to declare independence. Because the big thing was we didn't want to send the army down to Overwatch without a leader. Right now they have... Right. We just didn't think Nathaniel was ready. If Nathaniel thinks he's ready, then we're fine. We might as well get done what we have in Dernhollow and then head straight for Overwatch.

And we also won't look too good to Nathaniel if we show up and go, "Hey, that Dernhollow thing, we didn't do it." Like that. We spent five and a half days doing nothing while you did that. By the way, you were sitting here waiting for us, we didn't actually accomplish why we were the entire reason why we were gone. Yeah. So... Our bad. Yeah. And if Nathaniel's got this, I mean, if he's going down there already, I think trying to get the White Ravens here to help us over out in Dernhollow is the way to go. If we move quickly enough, it's not like we're going to miss this.

It's not like we're going to miss the entire war. At least I'd assume so. So let's get talking to... Let's talk to Poe and get them over to Dernhollow. I guess Thoril will approach Poe and just kind of ask him, "Do you know kind of about the situation of Dernhollow?" With the Overwatch? Yes. It was requested by us, by Nathaniel, that we remove the Overwatch currently residing within Dernhollow and we would like you guys to help us. Okay. I kind of had a hand in that to begin with, so I'm not against it. To be honest, we were going to take a part of the, you know, some other part of the army, but seemingly as they're already two days ahead of us, we don't, you know, we're just asking you guys.

The idea would be that we'd take you guys with us, take out the Overwatch that are there and leave some people in Dernhollow while we finish the rest of the war in case the Overwatch comes back, just to have somebody to protect them there. The line "finish the rest of the war," he's just going to kind of look at you like, "That's really fucking presumptuous." Duncan's presumptuous. All right. Well, here's something, because I got here almost a week ago and I have had no one to talk to about this, but being as how you're here now, what happened to Bree?

Duncan looks like Edward. Do you want to take care of it or do you want me to? You go take it. All right. I'm not really going to sugarcoat it. Okay. Well, last we had known, dead. Oh, dude. Post just going to narrow his eyes at Thorl. Yeah. Yeah, I know that. But word around here is that you were the last one to fight with her, and considering I know you had some problems with Una and the group, I just want to make sure that you didn't have a hand in it. Surely you're not insinuating that we murdered Bree. I know you're not insinuating that. Duncan kind of seriously holds his hand up to Thorl and kind of backs him up a little bit, and he steps out in front of him and he looks real, almost like he's getting teary-eyed again.

You kind of saved your life twice. I'm sure you're not presuming- Thorl. Thorl. Thorl. Thorl. I look back at Poe and I go, she was in battle. We were fighting Ian, and as Yinward went to charge Ian, Ian took a last gasp and pulled Bree in front of him, and it was too late, and Yinward couldn't stop. And next thing we knew, she had died. The group that was with us swore that they would find a way to bring her back, so we let them go and try to do that as we decided that we would take it upon us to try to finish what she was starting. And he swallows deep and clears his throat, and then looks up at him and says, "We're all very sorry.

No one wanted it to end that way." Do me a favor and roll a diplomacy check, please. 24. So Poe's kind of locked eyes with Thorl, and as Duncan speaking, Poe kind of like, towards the end, looks down at Duncan. Alright, I'm gonna take your word for it. I've been getting a lot of different stories from people around here, and since I wasn't there and arrived at the party pretty late, I just wanted to hear it from one of you. You said there's nothing you can do, then I'm gonna have to take your word for it, but you realize she was a really close friend of mine.

We rescued her out of a swamp when she was just a little girl, and we didn't get to see her grow up, but we got to see her when she was grown up. She came a long way from when we found her. She was really close to all of us too, and well, not all of us, but a few of us here, and we thought it would be a disgrace if we couldn't continue out what she was trying to do. Poe's gonna look to Thorl. You know, it's nothing personal, right? I just, you never know. I personally saved her life. Twice. Well, you did it a third time. We're all really touchy and upset about this, and some of us react in different ways to it, but it hurt us all.

Poe's gonna kind of quickly change the subject, because he can kind of feel that that tension is just gonna keep getting worse. So, we've been keeping in touch with the army. We've been getting a raven from them twice a day. So far, they're just setting an encampment up in White Wolf Valley, from what I understand, and then they're gonna make a final push after a couple of days, and try to start to take the city. They don't have much in the way of siege weapons, which is gonna be a problem, because... How much do you guys actually know about the Overwatch?

The city itself? Currently? To be honest, we actually don't know a ton about how Overwatch is now. Uh, Ken, never mind. I'm not gonna say anything. No, no, no! No, no, no, like, not talking about me like Diana's not gonna, like, even if she knew information, she wouldn't offer it. Oh, okay. I thought you were being emo. No, no, no, no, no, no. Um, well, that city's gonna be a real tough nut to crack. If they don't want you inside, it's gonna be really tough to get there. The Dragonborn were talking about something, but that's more of a last-ditch effort, I would hope.

What exactly was that? Do you have any idea of what they were planning? Uh, they got into a pretty heated argument about it with Ian. Their plan is to... Oh, he had a name. I can't remember the name. Well, they wanted to take one of their largest dragons and firebomb the city. Oh. What's the problem with that? I knew that was gonna happen. That sounds good to me, too. Po's gonna look kinda cockeyed at Etraconis. You know, not everyone wants to live there, and they have a sizable army, but there are a hell of a lot more civilians than actual fighters there. Just be killing innocent men, women, and children.

So, yeah, that's gonna kinda like scoff at that. Like, she's still not really... she's listening, but she's not participating in a conversation where she's just kinda like snort. Like, that's... you're... yeah. Roll a stealth check for me, please. Well, she wasn't trying to hide it. Oh! Okay, well then. She's not gonna... So, Duncan goes, "We've had discussions before, and we're not really keen on the idea of killing innocent children." And then I look over at Diana, and I say, "But someone here was absolutely correct when discussing the armies, and us jumping into things and making plans before we knew all the information." And she may be of some use when it comes to actually planning out attacks.

So, you haven't met her, but this is Diana. She's Malkus' sister. She's really pushy, just like Malkus. She's pushy, but she's smart. So, she might be able to help out. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Po's gonna reach his hand out to Diana. "How many of them are there?" That's what I asked! That's what I said! She's just gonna sigh something. I have no relation to Malkus' grimness. Don't listen to them. They have ideas about tieflings that aren't correct. The uncanny resemblance to his personality is just a coincidence. Duncan elbows inwards knee and goes, "Yeah, right." Like, out of the corner of his mouth.

Very obviously, though. He thinks he's trying to hide it, but he's doing a poor job. An old woman whose hearing aid was turned off, just saying it loudly. She's not gonna say anything. She's gonna gingerly take Po's hand, but not... She will shake it. "I don't really have a problem with tieflings. I've fought next to them before. They're fine. So, we'll get along okay." She'll chuckle a bit like that. "Yeah, sure, okay. Whatever you see." And then Duncan goes, "Oh, and here's our friend Hondo. He's really cool." "Hondo, it's a pleasure to meet you." Po's gonna reach his hand out to shake Hondo's.

Shakes it firmly. "That's Po, met Draconis." And Po's gonna point at Draconis. And the dragonborn. Draconis. "Oh, yeah, him." "That's Draconis." He's gonna hold his hand out. "Draconis is gonna reach out and he'll shake his hand." Alright, now that everyone knows each other... I'm Yenward. No, we've met. This is Yenward. He's king. What exactly is the plan here? What do you... I mean, you weren't kept in the loop with the army. I mean, that sucks. Diana? Well, Nathaniel had sent us to reclaim Durnhollow from the Overwatch's grass. We went there, we talked to the captain of a guard and the mayor.

The person who is technically in charge, though not really to the Overwatch. He is not fond of their rule as well, so we agreed to get some reinforcements to help drive out the remaining Overwatch that is in the town. We were planning to come back here for reinforcements, maybe part of the army, but since the army is gone, plans might have to change. So, what I'm hearing is you need help. Yes, if we still are planning on going back to Durnhollow. We really should. Nathaniel is not going to be very happy with us if we show up and tell them that we wasted all this time without doing anything.

To be fair, the plans only change slightly because the army is already on their way and we have 700 people right here that we can march with us. And if they're setting up encampment and planning on going in in a few days, we might actually have enough time to where we won't get there too late after everything starts. Which means if we can go very soon, we can make it. If we leave now and get there, we might have enough... Now, I want to reiterate though, we did tell them that we'd be leaving people behind to occupy Durnhollow, if you guys are okay with that.

Well, here's the thing. I'm more babysitter than anything. I'm just making sure that someone's watching the gates. We're meant to repel people, small forces at best. I don't want to be in charge, but I'm it right now. With Bree gone and Liara nowhere in sight, that kind of falls on me. So, I got to leave people here. The best I can do is take two, three hundred and we can ride east with you and clear them out. But it won't be permanent. We can't just leave the ravens there. There are around three hundred Overwatch soldiers there. I'm not sure how skilled yours are, but however many we would need to successfully combat that.

We could hold our own. Did Nathaniel leave anybody from Winterhaven behind? Well, that's another part of the problem. I'm not getting that he's a very experienced combat tactician. Great. He took everyone. [Laughing] Every able-bodied man, woman, whoever can hold a spear or a sword. Woman? He took women? Does he just evacuate the entire city? Anybody who could fight, they were handed a weapon and they started marching south. So he's going to slaughter his own people. What do you expect? I don't think that's his plan. He's a human child. I wouldn't expect anything else.

But it's still... Po's going to look at Diana and it's like, "Oh!" Kind of like that look. [Laughing] What's being human got to do with anything? What do you mean? [Laughing] It has everything to do with it. Po's just going to narrow his eyes at Diana. She's just going to meet his gaze like she doesn't care. Look, the kid's not super bright. I'm not debating. I don't know if he should be in charge, but that's the situation. I think they're just trying to end this. Did any of the leaders of the components of the armies raise any objections to this? Well, and again, I'm getting here late, but from what I can gather, a lot of these other races were pretty pissed off that when Ian was in charge, the people of Winterhaven hid behind the walls while they were out getting shot with arrows.

So this was more of a stopgap measure to smooth that over. Everyone's risking something. He didn't force the people of Winterhaven to fight, right? They went volunteer. No, no, no. This is a volunteer army. The way it was pitched was that this was their one shot to take it to Carter and end all this. To be fair, it kind of is. Look, I lived in that city for a year. They don't have warforged, but you don't get it. They have a highly trained military. Oh, no, I know what we're up against. They're all likely going to die, but this is pretty much the last-ditch chance of overthrowing them, seeing as we have the majority of the forces from around the continent.

If they fall, then there's not much left to stop them. So Duncan is getting his stuff together, and he looks at everybody and goes, "As much as I hate to do it, maybe we should just bail out on Durnhollow." If we're going to be leaving Winterhaven to fry, we're the Knights of Winterhaven. We're not the Knights of Durnhollow. To be fair, Durnhollow isn't much right now, so we could easily come back after this war. Diana's going to look to Hondo since he's kind of the Durnhollow representative. I'm bringing it up to Hondo, too. I'm discussing it. I'm not trying to be rude or anything.

The way I see it, y'all had an army set up, so now they're all gone. You want to support them. Who cares about the little guy? It's not like those Overwatch troops are going to do anything to them while we're away. Do you think Ellis--do you think it's possible he'll break? Ellis is a little pussy. Do you think he'd give up information without any reason? If we just don't show back up, do you think he might just turn on us? What information could he give up if we-- He can say, "Hey, you know--" Yeah, he can point the finger, but I mean, I don't know. If we somehow manage to succeed against Overwatch and go back there with an army, it doesn't really matter.

I'm not worried about what's going to happen when we go back. I'm worried what's going to happen when we're gone. That's why we just leave the White Ravens here. We'll just leave the White Ravens here. Listen, Poe, right? Uh, yeah. I'm not sure what these guys are going to do, but I would ask that you do help out during Hollow World. You see, there are these kids. They don't have no parents or nothing like that, and I've been kind of looking out for them since I've been there. So, as a personal favor, if you could perhaps help us out or whatever, then in the future there might be a way I could help you out.

Okay. So, if I understand things correctly, we're going to Overwatch. I am very much in favor of that. Genward? Okay. I don't know. Something about this is wrong. Sorry. Yeah. Thorl? What? We got one yes, one no. We got two yeses, one no. Thorl? I don't really want to leave an army that massive just in Nathaniel's hands. I'm sure that he's at least fairly capable. I mean, there's a bunch of leaders amongst that army who know what they're doing. And I'm not a big fan, I'm really not a big fan of leaving this city completely unoccupied of any sort of defenses. And that's what we'll have to do if we go to Durnhall.

I know. Who said no? Jaconis. I never said no. Oh, that's true. He said, "I don't know about this." No, I said something's wrong about it. I never said no. Yeah, I don't. It comes down to who needs us more. And, look, I like Nathaniel as much as anybody else here, but he got the job, like, what, 13 days ago? Yeah. Yeah, we need to get out there. That's exactly what's wrong about it. No way in hell can Nathaniel lead that army up against Carter. No way in hell. But it's not just Nathaniel. You're talking about the leaders of five or six different armies. And who do they answer to?

Him. If you're worried about Nathaniel or the citizens of Winterhaven from what it sounds like, the rest of the army is just fine with letting them go against the Overwatch. And then Duncan kind of gathers together and goes, "Okay, looks like we're going. Hondo, do you want to come with us? If you want to head back to Durnhollow, we totally understand, but you're more than welcome to fight with us." Well, it'd give me an excuse to go shoot something, so I guess I'll go with you, but seriously, somebody's got to go back to them kids. How about this? If we can make it through Overwatch and we can do this, first thing we do is go back to Durnhollow and take care of that.

What if it sounds like some of the White Ravens were willing to go? Yeah, Poe's going to kind of put his hand up. Look, you said there's kids there. We'll figure something out. Just, you guys take care of yourselves. If you do nothing, I'll save the kids, all right? The Ravenettes. Okay, guys. The Raisinettes. That's not what I said. It was way cleverer than that. I guess we're, uh, can you send a messenger, Pigeon, or Raven down to them and let them know that we're on our way? I can, but even if you guys ride as hard as you can, it's going to take you a while.

I don't think they're going to hold the festivities for you. I think we should at least let it be known that we're coming. Sure. I can take care of it. All right. Good luck. Jason, before we leave Winterhaven, is Elanan Duskwalker still in the city? I'm guessing he's not, but there's a slight chance maybe. You could look around for him if you like. Would that be street-wise? Yeah, street-wise. Do a street-rise. 27. Word on the street is that Elanan took off shortly after the events. Shortly after the events transpired with the end. Yeah, figured. Oh, well. Is there anything that we can use in town?

Maybe some tools or potions? Let's loot that blacksmith shop that we burned down. Partially. All right. Where can we find some tools? I think we know a place. Here's how I'm going to phrase this. Do you know when you're playing a really long RPG and you get to a point towards the end where it goes, "Are you sure you'd like to continue?" Because after this point, you're about to go down. I would like to stock up on goodies in Winterhaven. Okay. So are we going shopping? Shopping episode. Even out of game? For real. I have a really fucking weird feeling about this.

Something weird is going to happen. Oh. Well, yeah. In the Overwatch. You want that dragon root again, boy? Can we grind a little bit? Can we get to Paragon before we do the Overwatch? While we're on the way, can we happen to encounter some kobolds or something? Yeah. Kobolds. I love kobolds. There are mud crabs, dude. I would... There are mud crabs. Let's go shopping with my 63 gold. You want to take a shopping break here? Sure. We can do that. Yeah. That's great. This is... You're marching on the city of Overwatch, guys. After... Jesus, how long has it been? It's been over two years.

How did this happen? Kelsey bullied us into it. Oh, okay. I like how Kelsey simultaneously is like, "We can't give him time, but we're not ready. But we can't give him time, but we're not ready." What it sounded like for whatever happened today. We talked about who was going to fight Carter. You were like, "Eh, probably group three." And then we're like, "Alright, fuck that. We're going to Overwatch now." I never said probably group three. I said that they have just as much a connection, if not slightly more, because they actually fought in the city. And they were...

Not to Carter, but to the city. You guys have more of a connection to Carter. We're all going to die. Remember our deal, you. I get that notable. That's fine. You have flashed so forward. As long as I get the staff. I'm just making it clear when we get to that point. No, that's fine. Again, taking as long as I get what I need out of Carter, you can take the notable out of there. I call dibs on the gold. Oh, fuck. No. No, no, no, no, no. He called dibs on the kill. You call dibs on the staff. I call dibs on the gold. All the gold. No one else here can use the staff.

I need the main thing that needs the information. No, sell it. Nobody here can use my gold. Well, I want... Sorry. There will be plenty of that. God, God knows us like it's 1988 all over again. If there are any cool guitars... I'm probably a couple of them. ...you for watching famous guitar industry. Probably a couple of them. We could open a guitar shop together, you and me. I'm in. I was thinking you could just be my manager. Of course, man. We would go touring all over the area, man. It would be so awesome. That's what I'm saying, man. You'll be my promoter. You'll be my hype man.

Like, before we get out there. It's group 4 right there. I used to know this troupe of travelling prostitutes called something something. They had a prostitute van or caravan called the rusty something like Boulder. I can't quite remember. But yeah, I mean, we could get those guys lined up. You know, have this great show and put on a cabaret. The Scooby van. When we were talking to Ellis, part of me was like, "Maybe I should just offer to do a benefit concert." Bring our troops home. Dern Hollowade. Welcome to Dernade. Donate to Dernade. I want to go ahead right now and wish you guys the best of luck.

Thanks, Paul. We're gonna need all of it. As we as we ride into battle, Duncan plays Knights of Sedonia by Mew. Well, first we have to talk to Nathaniel. Hey. I'm just setting up the scene. Two more days on the road and you guys. I want to ask you two very important questions. One, are you moving as quickly as you can on horseback? Yes. We're opening traffic. Do we have any reason not to? We gave Draconis' horse back. I was about to say, I was about to ask. Speak for me. We're just dragging Draconis behind us. Is there any reason we shouldn't be running as fast as possible, Jason?

Oh, I'm just asking. Traps. Pits. If they can get an entire army through that, I'm imagining... You know what, this is gonna be cobalt pits. Fuck it, I'm going fast. Wait, are we taking the road though or are we gonna take back roads? I would have meant, you have no reason not to. I mean, you have no reason not to. You're following in the wake of an army. There is no reason. There is no stealth option. Second question. Are you... Obviously you can't just ride for 48 hours straight. Are you taking a break? If so, how many breaks? Are you setting up camp? Are you just trying to catch up to this army desperately?

How do you want to play this? Let's be smart about this, guys. We're going into... We want to be well rested, but the safe time is to get there quickly. So we take breaks when needed so that the horses don't get fucked up. Yeah. Especially Oliver Eastman. I don't want to hurt my horse. And I would say we set up just enough camp to give us some kind of shelter, but not enough... We're not breaking out every tent. This isn't luxurious at all. This is... Right. Okay. Oh, yeah. By the way, if we stop, I think we should take watches in turns, obviously. Yeah. Well, again, part of the cool thing about following in the wake of an army, whatever was there, they probably...

You sure about that? I'm not saying definitely. But he wouldn't lie to us. So... I'm just saying, you're talking little buckets of XP land. That is the problem with making haste and following the army. Third question. Do you want to turn around? You laugh. Oh, really? I'm asking you, are you positively sure that this is what you want to do right now? Do we have any loose ends that need to be tied up right now? Turn hollow. I mean, that's the only real loose end. The only thing we could do, honestly, is just go try to pick a fight, but it's not like our character's like, "Oh, man, our Paragon." Yeah, exactly.

There's no in-character reasons. Let's just... Yeah, we're not going to die. You know, I mean, that's the thing. I'm trying to play this as in-character as possible. Because if you're talking to Dan, yeah, I'm ready to go kill some drow and get... You know? Wow. Damn. Hondo's just like... How? By the way, when you asked if we're sure we want to keep doing this, how funny it would be if we all just decided, "You know what? We're not going to do this for. We're just going to settle down in Aubrey and just start a new life for ourselves." You know, I'm prepared for that.

Let's do that. When Belmont was writing this up in the thing where he's like, "Let's just go loot the town," I'm like, "Yeah, let's go loot the town. Forget this. Let's just become bad. Let's just start." You know what? Let's just start taking stuff, take over the scene. If we're going to become bad, we've got to take out the competition. Like, come on. Just become a traveling band of rogues, just like not even... We were trying to do our best to keep the town in our favor, and then we just ride in. It's like, "Where's everybody now?" While we're just slashing women and children.

We told you Yyn were the king, and he just goes... The entire army comes back, and there's just women and children slaughtered in the streets. We write, "Malchus was here," in their blood. Wow. Oh my God, we could set him up like that. No, no, no. Or if Thoril was in charge, we could just go around and frame Una for a bunch of stuff. Everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check, please. I'm so good at those. Oh, wait, wait, yeah, let's let Diana do that. Oh, 20-f-ck, crit, crit! Did you say everyone? Everyone. I don't like the way you're talking, Jason.

I don't like the way you're listening, dude. Oh, shit, did I get a crit? I got a- Oh, no, I got 30, though, that's real good. I got a 10, I saw everything. I'm going to see everything. I got a 10. I see Diana, Hondo, Thoril, Duncan. Now, I'm going to describe what all of you see, and then I'm going to describe what the latter portion of you saw. After two solid days on the road south to catch up to the large-scale army marching towards the city of Overwatch, you will finally catch up to them in White Wolf Valley. Already engaged in combat. Where in White Wolf Valley?

Just come see me. You're south of Betrayal Ridge, so this is the meat of White Wolf Valley. And this is, okay, what I'm going to describe to you here is what everyone in your party sees is that there is a large-scale battle going on that seems to involve every one of the races that would have been marching towards the Overwatch. What the four of you notice that I mentioned, Duncan, Thoril, Hondo, and Diana notice, are that the army that is defending White Wolf Valley is slightly larger. So, you're looking at over 35,000 people on this battlefield in total.

That's a lot. That's a fuckload. That's many. Yes, that is many. Now that's counting everyone. You're looking at somewhere in the area of 15,000 people coming from the city of Winterhaven and you're looking at somewhere in the area of almost 20,000 coming from the city of Overwatch. You are also attacking them on their turf. You will also eventually be, you will also be eventually attacking their city. Firing from the back of the Winterhaven side are a small handful of siege weapons that appear to be filled with fire pots. So, they are bombarding them from the back of their ranks, just peppering the entire line that they can hit.

So, on the opposite side, you'll watch these pots kind of vault into the air and stream across the battlefield and then land and you'll just see these little plumes of fire because it's so far away it doesn't look that impressive. But you've seen them when you've seen what kind of damage they can do on your side during the Greater Good episode. So, those things pretty much burn someone alive. They'll impact, boom, cover them in burning oil and they die for the most part. Unfortunately, the Overwatch side is doing the same thing. They have more siege weapons.

So, you can clearly see in the back ranks of the Winterhaven side that there are lots and lots of burned drow and human and minotaur and you're not seeing too many dragonborn and you're not seeing too many dwarves. But you're taking it there the complete entirety of the front line of the Winterhaven side. So, while this battle is just raging on, you would imagine that they are all up front. Lots of minotaurs too, but a few of them got caught in the back and peppered with fire pots. So, this is a full-scale battle that you're walking into. What would you like to do?

What can we do? You guys want to find the officials, like the high rank guys, Nathaniel and where they're located? I don't think it's time to talk. I think we gotta help out straight away. Yeah, I think at most somebody might run a quick perception check to see if we recognize anyone within the area. Just real quick. So, I think Diana has the best perception if you want to. Plus five? No. Oh, who does? I think I have got a plus eleven. Oh well. Okay, well, Yennward rolled. Yennward kind of holds up a hand. I got this, don't worry guys. And he kind of holds his hand up over his eyes at this Quentin son.

What do you see, Bulmend? Yennward doesn't recognize anyone in the immediate area. Okay. They're nowhere to be found, you guys. I'm afraid they're all dead. It just tells us everyone's dead. They need us now more than ever. So, I guess we can't run another perception check. Well, that is up to you. You can, but you're essentially, what you're doing when you do that is telling the person, like, you're an idiot. I got this. Normally they would take some kind of insult because you were... Just go on to the line. Yeah, you're double checking their work. Well, my perception is not that much better, so I wouldn't be the one doing that.

Hondo, continue. Oh, you want me to roll? Okay, I'm just going to look at the Yennward goat. Did you see anybody? You're a nice kid. I'm afraid they're all gone. We're here too late. Oh, God. Okay, I'm just going to get off my horse and step forward and I'm just going to look back at him and look out. Perception, 20. Hondo doesn't see anyone that he would recognize. Can I just say what I do see, though? You absolutely can. Hondo will... Hondo really takes in this battle in all its splendor. And you have hundreds of elves firing arrows from the back lines. Only to watch dozens of them get burned alive by a random fire pot that seems to just...

No rhyme or reason, just crash into them, burn them alive, dead, gone. You'll watch people try and disperse when one of these fire pots lands and they just try to avoid most of it and then try to pull rank back together. This appears to be absolute chaos. With the Perception roller, what does the formation of the Overwatch Army look like? Highly regimented. Okay, I'll look back to the group and say, "It's not looking good, guys." If we're going to do this, we're going to need to break deadlines somehow and we're going to need to do it quickly. It'd be really nice if we could find somebody who was in charge, if we knew where Nathaniel was.

But I don't know if we got time for that because we might just have to run in and start barking orders. Oh man. I look over to Thorol. I don't think anybody... Excuse me. Do you think these people are going to listen to us without us really knowing... I mean, without us having one of their leaders behind us if we can't find anybody? Yeah, now that you bring that up, I don't think they will. We could try. I'm not sure that talking... People are dying as we speak. Look, I'm not invested in this, alright? I'm a businessman. I can leave every time I fucking want to.

But we're here now. We need to help these people or we need to go. I was talking about getting formations going and stuff, but if you're ready to just charge in... I'm going to look at Diana and look in her direction to see what she says, basically. Diana is not happy. She's staring at the battlefield. It's all in chaos and stuff. In her mind, this is Nathaniel's fault. This is everything. All of this death and dying and stuff. Because he pretty much rushed in here with no strategy. She's just not happy. What about you, bull man? You ready to fight? Yeah, Nathaniel is a good kid and Laris is okay too.

They deserve this. Fucking get them. Do we have a strategy of what exactly we're going to be doing to help? I say we find the weakest side and we try to get that side and get in there, really. Because these guys are dropping like flies. Can we see the Overwatch mirror? Can we see the town? Are we up high where we can look over it? The way the valley is positioned is you're actually lower. Oh, awesome. The thing about White Wolf Valley is it is a kill box. The Overwatch is built on a cliffside, essentially. On top of a waterfall, if you remember. Yeah, now that I think about it from the early episodes, it's like, oh yeah, they're pretty much impossible to get from certain sides.

Long before this entire thing was set up, I described that city as almost un-siegeable. You have to attack their front gate. Yeah. It does look like we have a choice. Perhaps we should find where the boy lord is and see if we can at least get some Iote. If there's anything that... He's gone. What is there to gain from finding the little kid? Well, we can make him pay for what he's done here. He deserves a proper burial. Lady, what is your problem? I don't understand. You just want to kill him while you're trying to fight. You see what's going on in this battlefield?

He sent all of these people to their deaths. The kid is trying to find something he believes in. We're here to help. You telling us that we can't help this kid or we should punish him is not the best way forward. Then we should go tell him and advise him on something smarter to do. We need to go and help them. How about we're in the middle of a battle. We just go over there. You can come with us if you want, Diana, or not. I don't care at this point. We're in the middle of a battle. We don't have time. I'm going to go find Nathaniel. Anyone who wants to come with me, feel free to.

I'm with you. Let's go. Yeah, I'm traveling the fall. Sounds good. Everyone do me a favor. Place your characters in this general area right here. It's a broad area. I know we're in a valley, but is there anywhere I can roll a nature check to see if there's any kind of advantage, like foothold or advantages that we could get or something like that? You know what? Yeah, go ahead. Before you do that, you have a plus 11 nature. I have plus 13. Then roll away. Roll away. Now I hope I don't fail this. 20. Nice. It's alright. Instantly starts doubting his rolls. It's a 7.

You know what? I'll get the bad rolls out of the way now. They're not 20s, but they're 18s though. Nobody's next party? Okay. I got it. I got it. Shit's nice though. They're nice though. They're nice though, right? Look at my woof. Look what you did to the woof of my car. Ugh. Groovy to em. Thoril is going to scan the battlefield and look for any edge that you could possibly get in combat. The only thing that you would see is to the east. It would appear as though there's... Leading towards the Blackrock Mountains, there is a bit of elevation that archers could take advantage of.

If they could get across the battlefield and to it, it could give them a little bit of edge in combat. But getting there could be pretty difficult. Okay, well I don't know this information. This information has to be told to me. Yeah, I'll relay that information. Uhm, I'm looking at Thoril like, "Okay, if we can get that site cleared out..." I say, "We head over there and we move the troops. We try and get those archers back there." "We need to get a message passed along though. We need to get those archers up on that hill." Alright, we'll try to focus on at least one side.

See if we can kind of flush everyone over to one specific side. That way we can get them over there as quickly as possible. Uhm, that... Okay, you can... What we'll do is... In between combats of you... Because there will be combats. You can make perception checks and try to... Like, as you get closer, the check will get less and less difficult. Eventually you will find what you're looking for. That sounds good. So then do you want to clear out this now and then in between checks have someone look for Nathaniel? And that way we're focusing on our task and at the same time someone else is going to try to get in for us?

Does that sound like a plan? Yeah. Okay, then let's try to clear the way for the archers. You... Uhm... Tell me what the hell he looks like. Do I have the highest perception? Probably, I think. Yes. Tell me what the hell the kid looks like. I think if we're looking for someone to tell us where he is, then they'll probably know who Nathaniel is. Alright, I got it. Cool, cool, cool. If you're looking for that, then yeah. We should be... Okay. Do me a favor. Everyone roll initiative. Okay. No. Aww yeah. That's not good. Ah, balls. Every time. Where's my initiative at? I always forget.

You know what? Bad rolls out of the way. You can just hit the initiative track. Seventeen. Let's get these bad rolls out of the way. Oh my god. Not good. We're gonna get... Oh boy, twenty-five. Oh lord. Okay. That's good, that's good. Oh good lord. Bye Duncan. Oh good lord. I know I was gonna get shot to the front while the rest of us just linger on back here. I'm going last? Fuck. Hey Jason, for just this fight, how about we snake initiative? Oh my god. Jesus Christ. So many of them got like almost straight. Okay, so let's see. One, two, three, four, five. Hondo will hit his knees and start playing into the Raven Queen.

Six of them are gonna go for Duncan. Yeah, and then I go. That's gonna be great. Duncan, your turn. I don't know what to do. I'll pass. How does that sound? You can delay. I know. Yeah. Oh this is gonna be great. This is good. Maybe if they clump up a bit more that'd be nice, but we'll see what happens. What's the last? Alright. This is over with. Do it. Please. Suddenly the flame jets set them all on fire, but they keep advancing. Ah, I didn't tell you about my human amulet, did I? And then I pull it out and they all disappear. Boom! We did it. Where did your conus go?

Where did your conus go? I don't think you can do that after you've placed your pin. I know, I know. Alright, here we go guys. Good luck everyone. Hey, it was good knowing you guys. Let's do this. I don't like all this negativity. I'm just saying. Let's do this. Let's get to making these. Let's make these fuckers pay, man. Overwatch Redguard number one is going to whip out his crossbow and fire at Yenward. Good me shield. And that is gonna miss. I am a rock, number one. A rock. One, two, three, four, five, six. Redguard number six is going to use his crossbow against Thoril.

That will miss. I like these little... Hey, what up? I'm a rock too. These are like barely missing things. Just whizzing past our shoulders like, "Whew." You can feel the wind coming from it. Oh, you didn't know a fuck is through. "Roth's Whorl's Duncan's littered with arrows or bullets." You guys are elusive. I like it. Redguard elite number three is going to whip out his slightly better looking crossbow than the rest of his gang. Level it at Thoril and fire. And that will hit. Are we still on horses or have we gotten off those things? I would say you got off your horses.

Stop taking my horse in the battle. I'm just saying we could use him as body shields. That's a lot of shields. That's why I didn't give Oliver back to you. That's a lot of damage. That's a lot of damage for a crossbow? Yeah. He used a power called Dead Eye. 3d8 plus 10. Hopefully that's a daily. These are elite. I'm just throwing it out there. Oh, cool. That's why there's only a few of those on the battlefield. Two of the elite's first guys. Some of them are a bit more trained than others. Let's do... Redguard Elite #1 is going to use Powerful Strike on Thoril.

I've gained some new friends today. That'll miss. Nice. Good job. Any more friends? Yep. Right here. Hey! Come and join the party. That will miss. Redguard Elite #1. No. Yeah. How? You already... One. Hold on a second. You moved four. You moved one. Ah, one when it should have been four. Ah, it's fine. I'll just switch him in the initiative. It's all good. I was going to say, you better not have one go again. He's going to take on Yenward. Use Powerful Strike. Come on, Rock. That will miss. Yeah. Man, their shit is weak today. I want to give them a hogan point. Duncan, your turn.

Yes. All right. Woo! Okay. Everyone's chanting my name. Let's see here. Flanking would be nice, but you know what? I don't want to get too into battle here, so I'm going to go right about there. And I'm going to do Inspiring Refrain on number four. So we're going to... Number four. People in battle are chanting Duncan's name. Yes. We'll just create the ambient noise like, "Let's go, Duncan." It's a miss. That'll miss. Okay. Then I didn't have to sing a song, and that ends my turn. Let's see here. Red Guard number two. One, two, three. They don't fucking last. More friends.

Let's see. He's going to use his halberd, which has a reach too, so that will hit. You fuckers in the back may want to assist us. They haven't had moves yet. We haven't had a chance yet. I know. I'm just saying. Why are we fucking all of a sudden? Thorel's bloodied already? Dang. Thorel is bloodied. 17 damage. Diana, your turn. Your turn. Nice. I don't think I get a chance to do anything. I don't think you guys understand. This is really bad. Okay. I am going to use Phantom Foes. That's burst two within ten squares. Let's see. Burst two is five. One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, five. One, two, three. That's burst two, right, Jason? Hold on a second. Oh, sorry. Boom. I went there. There you go. I forgot I had to release it. That is a burst two. Okay. So making sure. Okay, so each creature in the burst is slowed until the end of my next turn. And also until the end of my next turn, the first time the target makes an attack, it must make a saving throw. And if it fails, I can use pre-action to change the target if it's attacked to a different creature within range. And if it hits one of its allies, it takes five extra damage. But yeah, so that's good.

And then I am going to move. Let's go one, two, three, four. There. Okay. Nice. Dude, I helped. So that's taken care of. Too hard. Yeah, so that's done. Good job. I don't have any close people to help me with this. Drakonas, your turn. Okay. Oh, God. I don't want to use dailies, but I don't know. Music. All right, I'm going to use I'm going to cast fire burst. This is going to be each creature in the burst. It's burst two within 20. So I'm going to cast this right here, which is going to take up that much right there. Okay, so you're overlapping. Yeah, you're completely negating.

It's not negating, it just stacks. Yeah, they're slowed and on fire. Yep, so each creature in the burst, I didn't want to hit Thorel because, you know, I don't want to kill you. I'll let them do that. Oh, wait, I got choose targets individually. So do you want me to like just click them, I guess? Go down the list, sir. Number. It's a miss on record number six. That is a miss on elite number three. That is a miss on Redguard number two. Still does damage. Yeah, it does half damage. So do that then. There we go. That is a hit on record number four. And so 22 didn't hit.

Huh? Interesting. That's a reflex. Yeah. All right. Here's here's the damage. Jesus Christ. He's telling me I needed to choose each one. Don't just. Oh, it worked. OK. That will kill. Oh, oh, nice. Redguard number four. Nice. And the rest of them take half, so they take eleven. OK, done. That's right. I have arrived. Anything else, sir? Oh, no, that's it. He's going to use this crossbow against Thoril. That'll hit. Jesus Christ, Yenward's right there. Rock. 15 damage. Oh, my God. Hondo, your turn. No one else is going to do anything. Hondo's going to whip out Shirley. That's his crossbow.

He's going to kiss her. And then he's going to use Hondo's quarry on. Who's the who's the who's the. There you are. You're missing more shooting. You're here. That's who's the closest person I can see. Two or one. Number one. OK, number one. Two is right on the open. OK, two. I'll drop a. No, fuck. Yeah, yeah. I'll drop a Hondo's quarry on him. How do I do that? Oh, you just say you're doing it upon a score number two. And then I'm going to use. Do I have to be close to him to use it? No, I don't. I'm going to use healing word on a thorough. The. Sorry. Hold on. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Target one of your allies. Yeah. So thorough. And then he just gets to spend the healing said right. And I'm right. Sorry. Minor action. No shit. I just see this on his quarry. That's a minor action. But if can I don't if I don't make a standard move this round, can I use two minor actions? Yes, you can. OK, cool. I won't move that. Oh, yeah. Hondo's quarry number two. Then I'll use healing word on thorough. You target Allen. You target ally. The target spends one healing surge to regain one D six additional damage additional to their head and their point. Deep breath, man.

Deep breath. Relax. It's OK. We're all friends here. It's OK. The first combat. Come on. OK, here's what you do. Roll to six, please. Well, shit eight thorough spend healing surge at eight. OK. And that was one of your son. Nice healer. Now, how many healing words do I have? This you have to. Wow. Oh, wow. OK, well, then I'll call it because I've just used two standards. I won't. Should I move? No, I won't move. Go. I have two heels, too. So, yeah, we got. Hang on. I'm trying to think of something here that I'm just looking at this. Sorry, I should have thought about this.

All right. It wouldn't be just a minor action to use a potion. Yes. I'll do use a minor action to do a potion. OK. How much is it? That is two D eight plus 10. And you spend a healing surge. Oh, sure. I'll take care of that. So roll two D eight, please. Should I just add the 10 as well? Yes. All right. Ten. Twenty three. Sorry. I hate to be that dude. I'm putting Xavier here, but I just read I have healers law as wisdom. One wisdom modified to hit points healed by your cleric powers with the healing keyword. If you invoke a healing surge expenditure. Does that mean if I use it or somebody else uses it?

Use you use it. Which was my wisdom? What for six? Right. OK, so twenty nine add twenty nine hit points. Yep. Damn. Enjoy. Pretty good. And back up. All right. We got this. All right. And then good old melee basic attack on elite number one. Hang on here. Let me clear that out. Him is a missed twenty one versus AC. You know, it's an encounter. I'll try heroic effort. See if that is twenty five. That will not do it. All right. Anything else? No. I'll use another minor action to cry silently. You only get one minor action. Sorry. I'm not going to disappoint if you want, but fine.

It's a reaction. OK. Hmm. Actually, let's see. I don't know if we're confident. Imagine it's a free action. He's crying as the action hits the door. I just love the idea that Jason's looking. It's kind of free action or is that on my head? Let's see. I need a ruling on this. Let's see. Guard elite number two is going to use dead eye against. That is a crit, ladies and gentlemen. At least you healed. You sound so happy about that, Jason. I'm just saying. Thirty four damage to Thorold. At least he heals. He's not dead. That's true. You're going to make it. Don't worry.

So the mind control stuff takes place on her turn. Their turn. Their turn. Yeah. Crossbow against Thorold. He's right there. Sixteen damage to Thorold. Why would they attack me with a big hulking minotaur? Well, that's one, because he's a big hulking minotaur. Two, because you've already had damage done to you and their buddies are surrounding you. So the object is like, okay, take them down one by one. That's their mentality. That's a good plan. It actually works. That's a good strategy. It's working. Yenward, your turn. Yenward. Okay. Sure. That's their plan. Storm Rider.

I'd like to motion and dunk and then back up a little bit. And then I'd like to use Reckless Strike against number four. I can't back up. In game, you know, just step back. And then I'm going to heave my axe back and go, "Revenge!" For Nathaniel. That's a hit. And my damage rolls are 6d10 plus 8. Jeez. Buck him up. He's bloodied. He's more than that. That will kill the Redguard elite. I'd like to do a finger point up to the sky. So Yenward's axe just comes down and splits this guy's skull in half. One minute he's alive, next minute dead. And his body's going to start twitching and then he's going to fall over.

And drop his weapon. Anything else, sir? Hold on. I'd like to point at 3 on 5 like they're next. Okay. Holy shit. Okay, now there's officially two PCs in between me and him. He better not be. That's almost like saying, "I dare you." No, I'm saying if you dare attack me, you make zero sense and I'm going to call shenanigans. You can call whatever you like. Let's see here. Redguard number 1 is going to attack Duncan with a powerful strike that will hit. I got all of them shocked. They won't touch me. 21 damage. Ow. I like that roleplay. That's good. I told you to step back.

I'm frozen. I can't move. It gets weird. I'm imagining I'm just pulling arrows out of my body. Like, "Come on, guys. This ain't cool." Guys, I just got hit. Shut up, Thoril. This isn't all about you. Look at me. You see this scratch? Thoril, Thoril, Thoril. Every time a bolt gets embedded in Thoril, I just peek over and... But you come over to me and you're like, "Duncan, are you all right?" You're like, "You're not to me." I thought I lost you. Not you too. First Nathaniel. I'm turning into a pin cushion. Get him, Thoril. Get him for Duncan. Do it for Duncan. Do it for Duncan.

Let's see. Battle of the Zombie King hit. 1d8 plus charisma modifier psychic damage and the target takes a negative 2 penalty to attack rolls until the end of the next turn. He's on the edge of that. Let's see. He is going to fire a crossbow bolt at Thoril. That's gonna miss. Redguard Elite #3. Now what happens when they begin their turn? I know they're slow. They attack each other? They have to do a saving throw or they hit themselves or they're in the closest front. Jelsey? I guess nothing happens then. Redguard Elite. Jelsey, get ready for mute. Sorry. Yes, they have to do a saving throw when they first attack.

Let's do that. That's not a saving throw at all, is it? Are you sure? That seems like a pretty good roll to me. That's a 2, so no. He has to attack his buddy? When he attacks. Well, he was gonna attack. Are you keeping the 2? I hope so. Better not reroll that, cheater. He threw a saving throw. Well, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop. He threw a saving throw. He failed. I thought you were saying it was the wrong type of dice. No, no, no. Relax. Okay, so yeah. Let's see. Who should we have him hit? Let's see, should we use... Let's go ahead and have him hit number 1. Number 1.

The one that's right in front of you, dude. Oh, okay. Well, I didn't know who was doing who. I think he assumed number 1. Let's hit and also 5 extra damage when he hits an ally. Oh, nice. 26. That was bloody. Plus 5. I did. Yeah. I'm on it. Thanks, sir. It's all good. Another saving throw to make sure that... Wow. That is so not... So, for a second, he's gonna turn around his buddy. What the fuck, bro? Because his buddy just caught him in the back. This is fun. And then he is going to whip around and try and hit Thoril in the face. That's gonna miss. Yes. Duncan, your turn.

Oh, it's Duncan's turn. Duncan will go after the dude right in front of him here. He will use Warsong Strike and it's a hit. Okay, give me a Warsong. Okay, Warsong will be Fortunate Son by Kryn Clearwater Revival. Nice. And we will play it again. And boop. Love CC. Okay, 17 damage. Vietnam had the best soundtrack of any war. It's just beautiful. I know. 17 damage. 17 damage. We'll kill him. Yeah. Alright. So there's an effect, but it doesn't matter. Notable kill. Eh? That dude's name was Lawrence and you killed him. Yes. You killed Lawrence. Lawrence had a look in his eye.

I knew something was up with him, so I stabbed him with my K'atarra. That was K'atarra. That was everyone. Wait, wait, wait. Who was his father? Larry Carter. He's a disappointment. Mr. K'atarra. He's the one they don't talk about. No. He's like Will Smith's father. No, continue not to talk about it. K'atarra of Rhys doesn't need to talk about it. That's the joke. God damn it, Kelsey. The kid was the Trey Smith of fucking... He's Will Smith's other son that they don't talk about. Right, yeah. No. Dang it. Keep that joke going. I thought we were done. We left that back down the road, but you brought it back with us.

That's cool. I'm trying to have a little bit of fun seeing as how my character's gonna be dead. He's not gonna die. We'll see. As he moves, Overwatch Redguard number two is gonna use Powerful Strike against Thoril. That's gonna miss though, so... Diana. Okay. Let's hold on. Oh, did that guy do mind control stuff? Yes, he did. Cool. Okay, so first thing I'm gonna do as a miner, I am going to use Emerald Eye against Redguard Elite number two. So until my next turn, I get a... Until the end of my next turn, I get a plus five Power Bonus insight checks and a plus two Power Bonus two attacks against Will.

So then I am going to use Charm of Misplaced Wrath against Redguard Elite number two. So let's do this. Attack you. Plus two. Okay. That's it. So, first thing you're gonna do is slide three squares. So we can just go put them up against Redguard Elite number three, if you could. Yeah. And then, so... And he's also... He stays until the end of my next turn and he makes a basic attack against the creature of my choice as a free action. And it gets plus two Power Bonus to damage. So just go ahead and attack number three. I don't miss. Isn't he still under your control?

No, no, he's not. That was only until... Oh, it was just one turn? Yeah, it's just the first attack they make. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And Draconis. All right, this actually worked out a little bit better that you put them there. I'm going to... Uh-oh. No, nothing too crazy. Well, it's the first time I think I've done this move. Ever? I think so, yeah. I'm going with Scorching Burst. I think this is the first time. It's one of my green ones, so it's not that crazy. But it's a burst one within ten, so it is going to be here and hit those three there. Yep. It hits each creature in the burst.

Okay, so let me try this. I'm going to do this thing. You do this thing. Going for three and... That's a hit. Okay. Going for two. That is a hit. All right, going for the other two. That is a hit! That's what I'm talking about. All right, here we go. Damage time. Thirteen. That will kill Redguard number two. Boom. That will bloody Elite number three. That is what I'm talking about. Anything else, sir? I think I'm good. I'm good. Okay. All right, here's what we're going to do. Let me see. Redguard number three is going to pull out his crossbow and fire at Thoril. That's a hit.

Why are you guys laughing? I'm getting so fucking... Nineteen damage to Thoril. That will take him down to three hit points. Oh my god. I don't think he wants me around anymore, guys. Yeah, he does. What is it with people taking this personally? No, Hondo's got your heel right here, I promise. Hondo! Go ahead, sir. Save the day. Go to god, Jason. You accidentally call me Elena. I'm going to move up one... Two... Three? Yeah, three. And then I'm going to use Raven's Talon. It's a basic... Oh, it's not a basic melee, but a standard action melee. One blooded enemy effect.

The target takes five damage plus your wisdom modifier, necrotic damage. If this damage reduces the target to zero hit points, you and one ally in five squares can spend one healing surge. Ooh. So, Jason, how the hell do I roll that? [Laughter] Don't laugh at me! I'm the new kid in class! You guys know! No, it wasn't you, it wasn't you. No, it's Tommy in Asshole. Below me. Below me. [Laughter] It's going to be a long night, guys. Don't fucking judge everything by the first battle. Okay. This is our werewolves, guys. Except instead of infecting everybody, it's just your werewolves.

We're doing fine. [Laughter] Oh my god! We are going to die! With what's come to us. This is going well. We're killing them left and right. Yeah, this is going really well for everyone except for one. What that is, is you just pick a bloodied enemy, the target takes a +5, plus your wisdom modifier necrotic damage. If this damage reduced the target to zero, you just do that. Okay, cool. There's nothing to roll. My wisdom modifier is six, so five plus six is eleven. Eleven damage to number one, right? Yeah. That does not kill him. Shit. Okay, I don't want to waste an action point but Thoreau's fucked up.

Nah, fuck it. I'm a healer. I'm a proper action point. Okay. And I'm going to use my last healing ward and I swear to god if this ward gets hit again. So let me roll. What is that? God, I'm switching quick. No, no, it's a... What is it? Sorry. Just checking. Just checking. You're not a daily, by the way. You're good. Oh god. Healers' door is what? Wisdom... my wisdom... Ah, sorry. I can't find it anywhere. Heal 'em, Lord. Yeah, healers' door is my... Yeah, it's the... So plus six and then... So plus six and then I roll... What am I rolling? 2d8. Okay, cool. Or 2d6, sorry. 2d6.

Boom, boom, boom. One, two... Plus six? Plus six, yes. Okay, cool. Uh, roll that. Fourteen. Good lord. Okay, Thoreau. Spend healing surge, plus fourteen. Do I have any minas left? Let's see. I'll make... No, is that putting it in my corner? No, it's not. It's not. No, is that putting it in my quarry? Nah, I'll just call out number one to be my quarry, I guess. As a minor action, because the other guy's dead. Okay. Thoreau, your turn. I think he just drove away. Oh! Yeah, well... I had been talking, too. I was wondering why no one ever... That's... Okay, yeah. Further lending credence to your paranoia that I'm trying to get rid of you.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll pop a second potion. Jeez. Good thing you bought six. So, it was... What was it again? Fourteen for the heal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had that. It was popping. Two, d8, plus ten. Sorry. So, Thoreau's used four healing surges so far this battle? Yep. Twenty-two. Oh, that was good. He's down to two healing surges. So, twenty-two hit points. Potion... Alright. Let's see... I guess I'll just do a basic attack and hope to God I can hit something. Kill that fucker. I'm hoping on it. Hits! That's a thirty. His damage will be eighteen. That will kill him. Yes, sir. Now, I haven't moved.

No. Nope, I can't. I can't. You can move. I just can't offhand. No, I know where you're going. No. I can't do some acrobatic check to do some somersault jump slice. Jump slice? Just come cleaving down on him in some weird way. But, yeah, I guess that'll do it. You know what? Here's what I'm gonna do. Because you've had a bad run of luck here. If you can... I'm gonna give a four to you the same opportunity I afford someone else on this show. If you can present to me a case where that would be, then we'll do that. Alright. So Thoril has had his run of very acrobatic attacks before, between leaping over a bar to vampire slam someone, and of course when we were at the Honest Harlot, leaping over the stairs and then just tuck and rolling right out the door.

So it doesn't seem too far-fetched that he could just, you know, move himself five feet and then cleave the person that, you know, was right there. Make an acrobatics check. If it's 24, then you got it. That's a 36. That's a crit. Okay, that's a crit. Go ahead. Fuck yeah. Yep. Well there. Chop his head off. That is... Let's see. Offhand, that's a 33. That'll hit. And the damage will be 22. Kill it. Yes! Pirouette of the day. Yeah, boy! Pirouette of the day right there. Man, that was the second and third coolest kill of the day. Yep. Okay, he saved against that. Gonna move up to Thoril.

Redguard Elite, number two. That'll hit. 37 damage! Jesus Christ! Damn. Can we go to sleep after this fight? Thoril? Just curl up on the battlefield like a dog? Yeah. The mooks of the Overwatch, they're rolling four D10s for damage. Genwert, they're gonna start tossing me a couple... May need to start tossing me a couple of his potions. Yeah, let me clarify. These aren't mooks. Now, the ones you're one-shotting are more mookie. It's still a trained army. The Elite are not mooks. Compared to whatever's gonna be surrounding Carter, I'm sure. Oh, well fuck yeah! Yeah.

Thoril's just gonna look damn near out on his feet and just scream, "I'm a fucking rock!" And then just thumbs up towards Yenwert. What do you have back, Thoril? Like some top gun shit? Some top gun shit? Fuck. Redguard number five is gonna shoot his crossbow at Thoril. That's a miss. As I heal over unconscious from a bolt, I'm a fuck! I'm a warg! Boom! Alright, I'm waiting for Jason to give me the floor. Genwert, your turn. Okay. I would like to point at number three, right? And I'd like to hold my axe up. And then I would like to drop it and put my head down and run out on a full board because I'm using bull charge.

So let me just drag my guy up there. Wow, this is the first time you've used bull charge since the incident. The incident. It's kind of a big deal. To be fair, I think this is our first real encounter. Yeah, first battle. Yeah, it's true. That is a hit! That is a hit. And my damage is 4d10 plus eight. That will kill him! Yeah, I think you're gonna kill him. Two for two, man. Nice. And when I run him through with my horns, I'd like to pick him up and just kind of like dump him on top of number five. Number five is gonna go "Oh, gross!" and fucking... Anything else, sir?

That's it. Staring down number five. He knows his outfit's off. Fucking terrified. One, two, three, four, five, six. What the fuck's this guy doing? He's had enough of your shit. Two uses fire extinguisher. He moves to that area just to crossbow me again. That would be awesome. He's behind a rock now, so... His tactical advantage. Yeah, beside behind a rock. Some Gears of War shit. Redguard number six is going to fire his crossbow at Draconis. That will hit. I've never been happier to see somebody not throw a hit. Oh, god. Twenty-two damage. Thor is just gonna yell at number six, "He's a fucking rock, too!" Dreduncan!

Yes, Duncan. Dreduncan. Gang up on the least of only one. Duncan's right here. He's gonna go after the old elite in front of him. And he's gonna use Ballad of the Zombie King. Is that what it is? Yes, I got it right. And he's going to attack. Miss. That's gonna miss. And then he will, after that, do nothing. Broke it. I do not have that. So... Actually, you know, Thoril, you wanna use another Healing Surge? Yeah, it'll help. I mean, late in battle, you might be able to get through it. If you wanna hold off. Yeah, but I'm still gonna have to use the Healing Surge at some point anyway.

Okay. I assume as much. Then Majestic Word is my minor on Thoril. That'll give him 1d6 plus my Charisma modifier, which is... 5. So 1d6 plus 5 extra. Do I roll that? Yep. So, 9. 9 plus a Healing Surge. That will leave Thor with one Healing Surge. For the day. Don't worry, we'll nap after this. Another wave comes out, Thoril just pushes Yednward, you go! Everyone just gangs up on Thoril. I'll be back here. We'll nap. We're gonna take a nice sleep after this one. I have arrows. You have arrow, that's canon. You have the really tiny quiver. God dammit, I... No, no, it's a really big quiver, but it has one arrow.

I picture it styrofoamed, packed in and stuff, like it's all crisp. In plastic wrap. Diana, your turn. Okay, I'm gonna use Hypnotism against Redguard Leap, number 2. I still get a plus 2 against Will because of Emerald Eye. So let's see... I'm gonna make him hit Thoril. Don't tempt me. Diana might do that, don't miss a chest. That's a hit. So yeah, attack himself, plus 4 power bonus to the attack roll. Yeah, their Will isn't great. Gonna be honest. It was good enough to... Is it gonna hit him? He's just coming to talk here. He's gonna miss himself. Anything else?

Nope. Draconis! Alright, what did six hit me with? An arrow. An arrow, okay. Crossbow Bolt, really, technically. Oh, he's gonna get fired. We're gonna say that shit hit me right in the chest. I'm gonna look down, I'm gonna snap it in half, and I'm gonna move right here. And I'm going to cast Burning Hands. Which means both of Draconis' hands are gonna catch on fire, and I'm gonna put them right on this motherfucker's skull. And miss, probably. And once I figure out how to do this, taking it one second. That is a hit! Alright, and I'm going to... Oh, shoot. You are going to burn him to death.

That's what I'm gonna do. Place your big fucking Talon hands right on the side of his head and erupt it into flames. He will be Ghost Rider for just a fucking second and then die. Done. The owner wants to cover his eyes but peek through his fingers. So he'll let loose this horrifying scream from the back, like you guys are up there fighting, and then from the back of the line just "Ugh!" and then dead. Nothing. Diana's gonna nod towards Draconis like, "Yeah, that was impressive. Good job." That's cool. Yep, now I can kill that human. That's gonna end my turn, too.

Hondo! I was muted. Can I shoot through Thorel? Sure. Okay, cool. Just imagine how he'll... No, no, not shoot through him, but he's square and he occupies. Can I shoot? Oh, yeah, I guess you could do that, too. Just yell "Duck!" Hondo's just pushing straight in the air. I thought you meant drive an arrow through him or something. Hey, kid, get down. I'm gonna mark two as my quarry, and then I'm gonna roll for Twin Strike. Jason, quick, before I do that, in my feat it says that, "Weapon focus, crossbow, you gain one plus damage per tier of crossbow." And also it says, "Weapon expertise, crossbow, gain bonus to attack rolls with crossbow." Automatically, that's automatically.

Cool. Alrighty then. Number two... powers... Okay, so do I just roll? Choose my target? Yep, choose your target, then roll. Do I have any pluses to that? Everything's factored in. Okay... roll. Oh, no, no, no. Okay, cool. Minor, major... do I wanna move anywhere? I might wanna move out of the way of number five, so I'm gonna back up a little bit, thorough, stay alive, and I'm gonna move next... behind Duncan? Behind Duncan. I can't move. There we go. Okay, cool. End. Thor, your turn. Ugh, God. Okay. So let's hope this actually hits, melee basic attack on two. Yay! Hey, how about that?

Hey, we're getting somewhere now. 20 damage. Let's offhand. Uh, that will bloody him. Alright. Oh, offhand's gonna miss. Damn. Oh, wow. Anything else? Yeah, nice one, minor two. Shit. Um... I'm good. Yeah! 26 doesn't hit his AC? What the fuck? He's elite. Fuck that shit. You're saving. You wanna borrow my bear hat? You know what? The Redguard elite is going to shift back one, pull out his crossbow, and fire it at Thoril. Talking shit. And crit. Oh, God. Talking all that trash. Welcome, everybody, to a new episode of Dungeons & Randomness. This one is known as Thoril's Bad Day.

That's 34 damage that will re-bloody Thoril. This is like the third time, right? It's like the fourth time healing purple bromance. Jesus Christ. I'm damn near out of healing searches. I'm running out of potions fast. And this is just the first freaking wave. See what your... Do that gibber-dabber get you. What's lucky is that five would probably try and finish you off, but Yenward's in his grill, so that's not happening. Considering he just threw his friend at him. 33 damage to Yenward. Shit. Yee-fish. Yenward, your turn. Okay. I would like to take a moment and kind of like turn and reflectively think about my friends, Nathaniel and Larys.

And Thoril in the future. I then just cover my mouth with one bullpaw. And then I'd like to whip around with a spinning sweep with my axe. Catch me. That's a miss. Is it? Because I have a lucky charm and I get to add a d6 and add it to the end of my attack. Do it. That will hit. Yeah. Okay. And that is 2d8 plus 10. There it goes. I said now, SilentBob. 23 damage, that will kill the Red Guard. Sorry, that came from the guy who chastised me for making a 15-year-old SNL reference. I know. I'm a major hypocrite. Duncan. Alright, Warsong Strike. Oh wait, I guess I better move.

Warsong Strike against Red Elite #2. How to get your second notable buddy. I know. Pedro. Larian Pedro. Boom! Missed it. I guess you're not going to get a Super Viper's or Pedro in your notable kill. Sorry, Pedro. Wait, can I use Ultra Fade on myself? It says an enemy within 10 squares of you is hit by your allies attack. No. Alright. Nothing. Goodbye. Diana. Okay, use hypnotism again against #2. See, that will hit. Yes. Okay. I would like him to dab himself in the face with his sword again. So pluco. +4 to the tackle. Okay. He is going to lower his sword in front of him, render his neck.

Please tell me to say something. And he is going to try and drive it through his own throat. Damn it. That is going to miss. He is narrowly going to miss his own throat. At the last minute he is like, "What the fuck am I doing?" He attempts to commit to pluco and just misses. For the second time! This is the second time he has done it. He is also trying to attack his own allies before. Just goes on the other side of his neck. Never dishonor for him. Anything else? No. This is just a waiting game. Somebody is going to get him. I know. Draconis! I am going to get my chance.

I have to say Draconis has been on a roll. He hasn't missed yet. This is probably his kill. Thanks for jinxing me right there, buddy. I didn't miss. He missed himself. Alright. Probably going to have to move for this one because I don't want to hit Duncan here. You will be fine. I am not going to do that to him. I am going to move 5 and go right here. And I am going to cast Fire Shroud. It is a close action. It means 3 straight out in front of me, right? Yes. Okay. Perfect. That is the range. Cool. I am going to do that to him. Hit this button right here. Hit this button again.

And miss. There you go. Thanks, Yennor. You called it. Watch him get another turn. Like, what is next? Sadly, there is no half damage. So that is going to be my turn. Hondo, your turn. Okay. I am going to move 1, 2. Then I am going to drop Hunter's Quarry on 2 again and I am going to hit him with a Singing Strike. Singing Strike. So 31 versus AC. That will hit. Okay. And then how do I... My damage is 1d10+6 and then +6 because he is my Quarry. 1d6, yeah. Okay. And then click, you have the +7. How do I add the other +6? Okay, roll that right now. Oh, he is dead. Okay, never mind.

He is dead. Yay! Nice, man. Nice. First novatro. Supervisor. Supervisor. Holy shit. Okay. We won, guys. It is over. Wait for Dan here. Right. He is defeated. Yay. Do we get to roll checks to find Nathaniel before the next wave? He is gone. Can I do anything with Thoreau? Can I roll a healing check for him? He has 1 healing surge left. That is the thing. He has 1 healing surge. You guys have got a long day ahead of you. We have got a long way to go. Let's get down to... Oh, no, I am not going to do that. Was that the end of the encounter? It is. Sweet. Get my stuff back. So everyone spend healing surges that want to spend them and...

I am goat. I would love to. Everyone, please do a perception check. Boom. 13. Alright. 12. 8. 11. Jesus. 28. Yeah. Hey, can I use a couple potions real quick? No, those are healing surges. Yeah, they are tied to healing surges. Ah. Yeah. Did you ever use your 1? Not yet. Thoreau might want to be ranged. Yeah. Jesus. Time to break out the arrow. O for life on arrows. I know. Carter could beat the shit out of you with his fist and kill you at this point, dude. Like, it is bad. Feeble old man fist. I thought he was a frail old man, too. No potions were tied to the... Yes, you fucking did.

We have made that very clear. He said that right before you used your first potion. Okay. So... And when you bought them. Shit. Before we bought them. Before, yes. I am going to go hike. I am going to go hike back. I am going to go hike back and take a nap, guys. You got this, right? Okay. Tell me how the war goes. That is exactly how it is. It is just like you guys got stolen. Well, do not leave yet. Because Thoreau is the only one. Everyone is distracted with the aftermath of battle. Oh god, Firepot. And Thoreau is going to feel a rumbling. Uh oh. Ooh. That is not...

This is distinct. There is obviously a huge rumbling already. Just these armies clashing back and forth. And in the distance, Thoreau starts scanning the battlefield to see what the hell could be doing, Matt. Do you remember we had a talk about souls inhabiting Warforged bodies? I knew it. Call this one. We talked about how the size of the being inhabiting the Warforged had to be approximate to the size of charging across the battlefield. Motherfucker. I am not sure what is happening right now. It is about to be like a giant huge monster basically from the Overwatch.

Because they have those... Probably that Titan Elite or something very similar. Well no, it is going to be like something whose soul is big enough to contribute to that. So, Thoreau is going to see these things charging across the battlefield. Oh, Thoreau. Okay, that is even better. And what looks to have happened is that these have gotten loose. Because dangling from their necks are these harnesses. And dangling from the harnesses are a couple of dead Overwatch soldiers. So these are like executive ball-clackers essentially. Like this thing is trying to buck them off and they are tied up in the harness.

They are caught. And it is just dead Overwatch soldiers banging into each other. So these dead bloody bodies are banging. Charging at the party. There are going to be a few scattered Overwatch soldiers that are in the area. And these... What the fuck? Oh, those are mammoths. Can we ride them? If you can tame them. I got a natureless human. Nature is rare. Who has the highest nature? Thoreau. That'd be me. Just do it. Listen, you need to talk to these animals, man. Calm them down. We have nothing to lose. You might as well. Hey, if their animals don't have that high will, that could be useful.

But that's something you have to do in battle or he can't do it just now, right? No. Hey, I get a plus two to bluff diplomacy and intimidate checks against beasts. Get out of here. Big elephants. I just look at them and be like, "Come on, man." But your diplomacy is normally plus four. What? I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying I get a plus two. Mine's plus eleven. Everyone do me a favor. Roll initiative. Now, before we do that, could I see what's happening and back up? Or no? Well, okay, here's what I'm going to let you do. Watching these things charge into battle, Thoreau, I would imagine, would give a "Hey guys" type of thing.

And you can shift on the battlefield before they get here if you'd like. Oh, okay. Yeah, I need bumps. I think Thoreau would give more of a "Fuck this shit" and just shift back a couple spaces. We can move Jason. Wait, hold on. How are... You can shift around up to five. Let me... Okay. I'll give you a few precious moments before this happens. Also, Thoreau's going to notice scanning the battlefield that this area that's being attacked seems to be the weakest right now. You are... I mean, "weakest" is a relative term. You have fucking mammoths to deal with. But the thick of it appears to be just to the right of you.

If you look there, there is a lot of awful things happening. The problem is that they are moving... It would appear as though they're moving their siege weapons closer to the battle. Who's the green hand? It's disappeared. Triconus, go ahead and roll initiative, please. Oh yeah, I can do that. Now, Jason, you said that the elephants were kind of like going crazy, right? Yes. A bit. Just charging. So it would be possible that they may attack... Could be. ...Overwatch as well. Okay. They don't appear to have much control of them right now. Something happened somewhere on the battlefield that would cause them to stampede.

Okay. We need to make space, like just get the fuck out of the way. Yeah, let them run by. Oh, I should have ran behind that rock. Damn it. Diana, your turn. Okay, I'm going to cast Phantom Foes. B... One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Boom. Okay. That's the same thing as last time. All of them are slowed. That includes one, right? That got them? Yep. Okay, good. And then all of them are slowed. First time to make an attack, so you can throw blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I'm going to move one, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, I'm good. Yenward, your turn.

Yenward. Um... I'd like to delay. Okay. Thoril, your turn. Uh, how do I determine like range on ranged weapons? Uh, you have a longbow, I want to say. Hey Thoril, what about a nature check? Want me to do a nature check? I'll do a nature check. Is that a minor or a major? That's a major. Oh, it is? I have to get closer. Oh, on like the war elephants? Yeah, that was the... How close do I need to be? You're trying to... What are you trying to do, tame it? Is that what you're trying to make me do, Dan? We did it to the Drake, I'm just saying. It's been a long time, but it worked.

It has been 72 episodes. And may I remind you how many hit points I have? Right, exactly. So I don't think a ranged attack is going to do a lot. If you're going to try and tame it, you have to be within five squares of it. One, two, three... I wouldn't do that. Six. I can go up six and be within four squares. Oh my god, I wouldn't. No way, dude. Look, there's going to be one, two, three, four, five people that go right after you. You'll be here. All over Watch. They all have crossbows, don't be here. Wait, maybe just a second. Maybe wait until they focus on somebody else first.

Or maybe they're going to attack the one they see is bloodied anyway. Thor's about to drop. To be fair, I am kind of a limping gazelle right now. Oh my god. This is going to be Thor's last episode, I can feel it. Totally your call. You know what? This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to try once at a ranged basic attack. Because I really want to at least hit once. If I miss, I pop an action point and I'm going to go after the tame the war elephant. I would move before you use your action point. So you can move back me? Well no, don't because if you need to move up to do the nature check, you're going to end up doing that.

Right, but you don't get a move action and another standard. It's one or the other. So if he pops an action point, he has to use his move action. He has to do the attack, do the move action, and then pop the action point. Well yeah, yeah. I mean if he's going to pop it. So does that sound like something to do? Yep. Good luck. Good luck man. Alright, so assuming I could actually, I'm within range of this, I guess I'll try a ranged basic attack against this guy. Against four. You know what, Tyler? Don't do it. Just do the attack, back off. Let's keep you alive. Oh no, do it.

Sure? Don't be a hero. You've got so many people. Yeah, I'll take off some of these red guys. Yeah, because look, after all those red guards go, everyone else gets to attack before the war elephants. So let's see if we can take out these red guards before. And they may, the war elephants may take some of them out for us too. Maybe. Right, so back off. And try to attack the red guard instead of the elephants right now. So we can see if we can take those guys out. Alright, I was fully ready to be like, well if I fail then I die. I was ready to do that. So yeah, I guess I'll just do regular ranged basic attack on four.

Man, I kind of got hyped there. It was like, okay, okay, I can do this. As long as you stay alive, you'll still have your moment. Alright, alright. And deprive you of your pet elephant. And that's another miss. Still O for life on. No. Back up. No. Yeah. I'm gonna go right there. Might want to use the potion first. Overwatch red guard number one. One, two, three. Didn't they come back around to me because I deleted? No, if you want to jump back in now though, it's your turn. Okay. You have to say when. Oh, I didn't know it worked like that. I thought it was just my turn.

Yeah, I'll jump in now. Can I reach three with my ranged from here? Yep. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna throw a stormrender at him. Stay put. That will hit. Nice. Okay, you guys get to roll 2d10 plus eight. Shh, shh, shh. Dead. Totally dead. Done. Gone. Good job. So stormrender will slam into his chest and withdraw. He rolled two ones. He rolled two ones on the damage. Doesn't matter. Oh, that's funny. You done? Yes, sir. Overwatch red guard number one is going to move forward. And use his crossbow against Duncan. That's gonna miss. Ha! Right over my head. Right over my head. It hits Hondo in the shoulder.

Bam! Six. Red guard number two is going to use powerful strike against Ynward. That's gonna miss too. Awesome. That'll bring up number four. He's gonna use his crossbow against Diana. That's gonna miss. Number five has to save. Nope. Didn't save. Okay, so I would like him to attack mammoth number three. Please. Oh yeah, go. That's good. He's probably not gonna do much, but then the mammoth will be angry at him. That's gonna miss. Wow, they miss everything. Draconis, your turn. Alright, here we go. This is happening. Alright, I'm gonna see those three huge war elephants, war mammoths, whatever you want to call them.

And I'm gonna have to try to block us off from them for a second. I'm gonna cast Wall of Fire to put between us. Does that block sight for us? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So here's what's gonna happen. Sure does. So I'm only gonna be able to block us from one and three pretty much. Okay, wait. You blocked it off by making it. Okay. I'm sorry. I was counting for you. That's okay. So I'm casting it right there. And one is gonna take fire damage because these adjacent people also take damage too. Yeah, when it... Let's see here. Any creature that starts its turn. Okay. Yep. You done?

Uh, I don't think I need to move. Yeah, should be good. Okay, Duncan, your turn. Alright. Jason, you sound like you're getting tired. No, no, no. I'm not good. It's... Nah, I just haven't eaten today. I'm fine. I'm good. You said you had a granola bar. I did. That's... Not quite cutting it. Go ahead. It's cool. Okay. Um... Actually, yeah. Okay, and I'm gonna be doing Warsong Strike on number four. So, attack. Hit. That is a hit. That is a hit. Okay. And damage. Go for it. Thirteen. That will kill him. Nice. There we go. Good deal. Um... One, two, three, four. Do you want a healing surge?

Thorel? Last one, right? Actually, Hondo would be better at it, so we'll hold. Anyway. Hondo! Okay, um... Thorel, do you want the... Do you want it? Do you want me to do it? Do you want me to put it in here? I'm sorry. Whatever gives me the most bang from my buck. On Thorel, so that is... I keep forgetting my bonus. Two D six plus six. Two D six plus six. Got it. Boop boop. Big numbers. Big numbers. Alright, and roll it. Thirteen. Thirteen? Thirteen plus a hit. Your last healing surge for the day, Thorel. Oh my god. We should take a poll after this. What are Thorel's odds?

We're getting to Carter. He's just tired and bloody. He's like, "I'm gonna fucking kill you." With this six... wait, is that... Yeah, I'll move behind. So one... Sorry. Two. Five. Clampers over Draconis. Sorry about that. Right here. And then I'm gonna use twin... Singing strike or twin strike? Singing strike! On number one. Alright. Let's go. Aww. That is a miss. Would you like to sing? It's not gonna make a difference. I know it's just clusters. It ain't worth it. Fucking... you are no fun. Wow. Okay. Mammoth number one. He saved, everyone. Dang it. No. He still slowed though.

What does that mean? Like half the movement or something? Yeah. Number two, on the other hand, is not slowed. Whoa! Mammoth. Number two is going to charge forward, lower his tusks, and swing at both Yennward and Redguard number two. No, my woolly brethren, don't. No, my woolly brethren. Alright, here we go. Number two first. That is a miss. Great. Yennward. That is a hit. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What was the ace? What did he hit me with? A 32? Okay, nevermind. Okay. I was going to use my shielding kernel, but... Ah, okay. Why not? 24 damage and Yennward is going to be knocked back three spaces.

Okay. So... Who's going to land right beside? No. Call that way. Yeah. So, essentially this Mammoth is going to charge across the battlefield, lower its tusks, and just try and slam both of you. The Overwatch soldier is going to duck at the last second, but Yennward is going to catch this in the brunt of the chest and be knocked back three spaces. Ooh. Overwatch warlord number three is going to try and save. And he did. What? So he would have attacked the one that took a swipe at him? That's not... Uh... Didn't hit him. No, but he took a swipe at him. Well, he didn't notice.

Oh, okay. Aw. Yeah, these things are huge. They're not going to notice something that attacks them but doesn't hit them. They're like fleas. They're... Yeah. So, Diana? Okay, I'm going to use Phantom Chasm. So that's standard action. So that's burst one. We're going to turn square, so we're going to get a nice little box right there. Okay, so I have to attack each enemy in the burst. We'll do... Uh, ugh. Never mind. Let's see. Am I here? Good? Okay. You... That's a hit. Speech and you. That's a hit. Okay. Nice. So then each one takes 2d6 plus intelligent modifier psychic damage, so we'll roll that.

That's 15 damage to each of them. And they fall prone. They're both immobilized until the end of their next turn. Nice. Beautiful. And the burst creates a zone that lasts until the end of the encounter. Any enemy that enters the zone falls prone. Well, shit. That's... Thoreau. See, now Thoreau, now you don't have to move too far to be able to do that nature check. Oh, thanks. You can move and then back up. Oh, man. It's just now they're kind of useless. I love that you can control your control and respawn. They're useless for now, but it doesn't mean... Yeah, until the end of their next turn.

It gives us a bit of time to do something. I may just stay where I'm at and try to do a ranged against 2. You can actually stay where you're at and do a nature check against 2 if you wanted to. It took me half a second to say, "Wait, what? Oh." Do the nature check and if you fail... If you fail, no big deal. Just run back. Because the ranged attack's not going to hurt them that much. You might as well go for it. What am I going to... Oh, against the elephant. Against 2. Be the elephant we're speaking of. I don't know why for half a second I thought you meant the red guard.

Like, I'm going to tame the red guard. Shh, it's okay. So, okay, I just run up a couple spaces. You're in, I think, one space. I'll get one, two, three, four, five... one more. Yeah, just one space up. I'll just do one space up. Okay. If you hit a 28, you've tamed it. Yeah! Oh, shit. Yes! 30. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. Nice. That's two for two, by the way. That's only the second time we've tried to do that. The world just got a mammoth mount. That's fucking... For now, this mammoth is... you've kind of soothed it enough that he is convinced you are not an enemy.

But the red guard in front of him. And the other mammoth, right? Probably the red guard first, and then we'll see. Anything else, Thorold? No, I think we'll do it. You know, Thorold, with that roll, I mean, you only have to get a 7 or higher, right? I mean, not 7, sorry. You have to get a 15 or higher. 15 or higher. Never mind. Good math wrong, sorry. Uh, Yen, what's your turn? You're prone. Okay, well then I'd like to become unprone. You are unprone! Okay, thank you. I unproned myself, you guys. I am going to hurl Storm Rider at number two. Number two, the wolf?

I mean, the wolf. The guy. The wolf. And a pack of wolves enters the battlefield. I was gonna say "willy mammoth" and then I said "wolf." We know what happens when wolves show up. Blam. Storm Rider's going to slam into this guy's chest and just fucking kill him. Anything else? Not so sweet. Let's see, red guard number one is going to burst into flames and die. Burst into flames and advance forward with two hammers. And a pack of wolves. Or number five. Oh, he's a lone man on an island. Yeah, he's a poor dude. Draconis, your turn! Okay, uh... Put an area of effect around number one and number five, that would be...

There you go. I am going to cast... Make sure I'm within 20, yep, okay. I'm going to cast Fire Burst again. That's going to get this area right there. And... I'm going to go for the guy number five first. Miss. That's going to miss. I still do half damage, so that's a piece in the gifts. And mammoth one hit. Alright. We'll hit the mammoth. So now it's time for damage. Surprising that the mammoth's wreaths for like six aren't that great. I feel bad for her. I don't want to fight. 20. Half damage against the... Yeah, number five takes ten damage. Yeah, he's a mammoth.

He's a mammoth. He's a mammoth, guys. He's been a mammoth all along. It's a disguise. Minions don't take half damage. So if it misses, it misses him, yeah. Wait, what the... Anything else? I have a quick question, minions. Hit me. Say we tame this thing, and then of course after the encounter, this is kind of almost like an ally for us, right? Like we could pretty much ride this thing into battle? No. It doesn't work that way. No. Essentially what's happening here is that you've convinced it for the time being that it is not your enemy. That doesn't mean... That you're not his enemy.

If he makes another nature at the end of the battle... That's more a druid thing. Like, Thoril isn't the fucking... He's not Steve Irwin and shit. He's just... I'm the elephant whisperer. Duncan, your turn. Oh, crap. Man. Is this the top quiz you didn't study for? Yeah, this is. This is. Because I got nothing. I can't see five, right? No. He's behind the firewall. And I can't get to one or two or three. So... Jeez. I can do some... You could play a song. I could. I could play a song. Anybody want to use a healing surge? Yinward? You want to use a healing surge? Uh, you know what?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he's only got 18 of them. Yeah. Majestic word. Healing surge. Boom. On Yinward. And give your... You know what? I like you. Give yourself an extra 12. How's that sound, buddy? Sounds great. Cool. And you know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go behind this rock. Smart. What? Hondo! Wow. Um... Sure. I can't. I can't do nothing. So I'm just gonna move away from the situation. Oh no. You put me in front. I don't like this. Okay. You could've moved. I could have, but I didn't know everybody was gonna jump back. Sorry. I had the one from the beginning. Okay. Three, four, five, six.

Damn. You're chill out right there. Like... All the way out of the fight. I don't wanna hear that noise. I'm gonna chill out right here. I'm gonna end my turn. I ain't got nothing to do. Don't turn around and put your fist up for Hondo. Like, we're in this together. We got this. You done? Yeah, yeah, I'm done. Okay. We're... Oh god, one mammoth. Number one is gonna move right here. Oh shit. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. I'd like to call out to them, "You have to be a rock, not hide behind." Who's he attacking? Number one is attacking the two mages. He's gonna use Tusk Slam as a charging attack against Draconis.

Damn it. The three weakest people in our party. Draconis, so let's go down. Draconis. That's a hit. Nice. That's gonna miss Diana. I don't even have to use Shire. That's gonna miss Duncan. Duncan rolls up in a ball underneath him. Shh. Be the ball. Like Hook. 22 damage to Draconis, he's going to fly backwards and slam into Yenward and fall prone. Please tell me Yenward stands up, stays up straight. Oh, he's up. Yeah, no, it's gonna slam into Yenward. He just bounces off of Yenward's chest, Yenward's like, "What the hell?" Come on Draconis, this is embarrassing.

Don't let him do that. You're like, "Come on, get up, get up." Oh hey look, the two elephants and the area effect. Looks like a penis. Well there you go. Shout out to group three. This is group one, Tom. We don't do that here, alright? Penis jokes, that's for group three and DP whatever. In the new person practice session though? Oh, lots of penises there. But Bree was there, so that's why. Poor Mammoth. Number two is going to stand up and he's going to charge. He takes a little bit of fire damage first. Yeah, he is. He's immobilized. Oh, he is immobilized, right?

Oh, that's true. That's awesome. Never mind, he's just gonna... Sucker back. Yeah, he's just gonna... Attack three. Hold on, just... Three's immobilized. Yeah, okay, let's see. Two is... He wouldn't attack the three. He would attack the Overwatch soldiers and everything, so he's just gonna do nothing. Three's gonna do the same. Do you need to beat that penis? Do I need to roll manually for that? It's only a D6 for the fire. Yeah, roll a D6. Yeah! One damage to the world. Yeah! Roll another D6 because the other world is not going to. One again! Boom! Yeah! Blam! Critmas takes like it.

Shit! Diana, your turn. Okay... Okay, question. With these big giant tokens, moving them three squares, how far would that...? It's the same. Okay, so... One, two, three. Okay, let's see. One, two... Okay, so if I move one diagonally, would it still... Could I still get it next to either two or three or four or something? How many spaces are you moving at? Hold on. Okay, if I moved it three spaces with that... Yeah, it'd be right next to two. Okay, I can do that. Then I'm going to first of all get the hell out of here. Actually, no, it's one, two, three, four, five, six.

Isn't that an opportunity to attack? No, oh, wait. You're right. Never mind. Okay, so I will attack first. Okay, let's see. What do I want to do? Okay, I'm going to do Charm of the Defender against number one. Actually, no, no. First I'm going to use a minor, use Emerald Eye against number one, so that gives me a plus two against Mrs. Will. Then I'm going to use Charm of the Defender, so let's roll an attack. Boom. Plus two. Hit. Okay. So I slide the target up to three squares, so put them up next to two, I guess, as close to the other two man as... Good. Throw them in the fire one?

Hold on. You should be able to go back. Oh, okay, and also I'm going to use my Staff of Command, so as you hit the target with a Charm Power using the Staff, and I slide the target up to a number of squares equal to the Staff's enhancement bonus. So that's two. Okay, so up there next to two or three. If you threw him in the fire, he would take it. As far away as possible. He's next to the fire. He's next to the fire? No. Okay. And he grants combat advantage until the end of my next turn. Well, there you go. Okay, so we're going to do that, and then to continue the Charm of the Defender, so slide the target up to three squares, and it's immobilized until the end of my next turn.

Also until the end of my next turn, when an enemy starts its turn adjacent to the target, the target makes a melee basic attack against the enemy as a free action. It's a power bonus and blah, blah, blah. Thor, your turn. I'm just going to take a step back because I think I might know the score here as to what that elephant might do when it gains its will back. I'm going to go ahead and pull out another arrow and hope for the best. Okay, we only got one. Alright. Yes, the streak lives on. And I think it's- You should have the roll to reclaim it every time you fall.

Jason, I forgot to move. Can I do that real quick? Go ahead. It's okay. Okay. Anything else, Thoril? You moved, you fired, so. Yeah, that's- I kind of wish I backed myself up a little bit further. Yenward, your turn. I really don't want to attack the mammoths. I'm not going to have a choice. There's not going to be a peaceful resolution here, is there? I don't know. Focus on one, because two is too busy. Two's not going to attack us. So, I'm going to reluctantly, recklessly strike number one. That's a hit. Okay, that is 60/10+8. Jesus. Oh, 49 damage? Fuck! Damn. You hack into this fucking mammoth.

Anything else? Uh, that's it. We're going to be eating good after this battle, I can do it. Nice shift. That elephant's good, now you moved up to get there. Yenward doesn't shift, he's not. Make it like items in Skyrim, where we can just regain hit points through just constant drinking of mead. Just eat a ton of cheese rolls. Yeah. And apples. Overwatch soldier number five is going to burst into flames and die! Yay! Right? Draconis, speaking of bursting into flames, your turn. Okay, um... Am I going to move? Yeah, no joke. But then all my abilities... You can attack first and then move.

Can I? Yeah, I would do that. One, two, three. I am going to do that. Yeah, I am going to... I am going to cast Fire Shroud, which is burst three, which is going to shoot right out in front of me here. Hit one. And let's do this. Uh... Miss. Awesome. That's good. That's great actually. That's what I wanted to do. Yeah, I wanted to do that. That worked perfect. And so I missed, now I'm going to move. Sorry Yenward. And that's step away here. One, two, three, four, five, six. I'm just going to take a step back over here. Wow. Yeah, that's a step. Alright, turn's over. Jason.

Duncan. Yes. Mammoth number one, he entered that area of effect, the white one, right? He did, yes. He's prone. Yep. Okay. Okay, so that Ballad of the Zombie King is a close burst two, so do I have to be one closer to get to one? Let's see here. I've never had burst before, so I don't. I copied it and pasted to it. No, I know what I'm saying. I've never had anything that used burst. Oh, oh, oh. Burst goes out front. I thought blast went out front. Well, blast does go out front. Burst goes out from all. Yeah, all sides. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay, but this only attacks enemies, so it wouldn't mess with the n-word.

But do I have to move one closer is all I'm asking. No, you're good. Okay, then I will use it there. No, wait, no, you're not good. Yeah, sorry. One more. Yeah, my bad. There, okay. There we go. And I will use that against one. Number one. Hit attack. 25 burst will to hit. Nice. So. And their will is pretty hittable. Yeah. Eight damage. But target takes a negative two penalty to attack rolls until the end of my next turn. That is going to kill the. Yay. Sorry. Oh, that works. Awesome. And also I sang Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie when I did that. Great song. I'm going to write these down.

Yes. And that's it. I'm done. Summertime, baby. Rob Zombie. We need more Rob Zombie songs on this show. We do, I think. Yeah, we do. Hondo. Okay, I'm going to. Yeah. What am I going to do? Healing Word. 2d6 is plus six on Draconis. Is that cool? You're okay with that? I am perfectly fine with that. All right, cool. Roll eight. Heating search. Eight plus healing. And then I'm going to move over. Well, thank you. Five. Five. I think that's five. And then I'm going to use. That was a minor, right? That's a minor. Okay. I think I used one before. That's finished. I don't have any more of that.

And then I'm going to use Sure Shot on number two. Okay. That's a daily, I believe. Sure Shot is. That's our friend. Is that okay? Oh, two is our friend. Yeah, two is our friend. Two is our friend. Okay. Then in that case, I don't think there's much I can do. Can I hit? I can't hit. I can't shoot through an enemy, right? That's not a thing. No. Okay. That's all. That's nice. Yeah. And. Number two is going to start wandering away. Bye. Bye guys. Bye. See you later. I'm going to roll his fire damage. Don't be a cunt. I could have killed him. That fire damage is going to snap him out of.

Are you serious? You're out of the park. Are you serious? It has to happen. Sorry. He's going to go into a rage once again. Number three is going to start moving down. I'm going to roll for him. That is actually the worst thing. You stink. Sorry. Five damage for five. Five damage. Two. Hey, I cast the wall before that motherfucker got tamed, so I don't want to hear it. Maybe you should have tamed him. Number three is going to use tusk slam against Ynward. That is going to miss. We won't. Some rock. That would be Diana. Okay. Record? No. Hold on. From the back of the line of the Overwatch side, a fire pot is going to be launched into the air and rocket towards Diana.

Make an attack against him? It absolutely will. Let's see. Plus 17 versus your fortitude. Oh. Little bit. Do we know number three is also named Diana. Diana the manna. Yeah. Keeps that fire pot. That's going to hit and I can't do anything because the only thing I have will affect safe reflex. And it will also splash damage to Draconis. 23 versus your fortitude Draconis. Good. Hope it does five. I asked the tiefling and I get something against fire. You get resistance to fire. Plus I get 10 resistance. That's something. So you'll take 17 damage. Draconis is going to take 27 damage.

Oh, God. That's not too bad. Draconis, you want to adjust your stuff? Yeah. Yep. Okay. This fire pot is going to spook these mammoths. And unless you want to continue attacking them, they're going to flee from combat. Dang it. No, go. Get out of here. Yeah, be free. They'll be back in greater numbers. See you Diana. Diana the manna. Wow. Diana the mammoth. And paragon. It's the sound of us all leveling up. So can I use a healing surge to get me back to full? Hold on. Let's let's let's resolve. Let's resolve a couple of things. One. Congratulations, group one. You have all reached level 11.

Thus you have hit paragon. This was my first party. I can't believe it. It's been a long, hard road, Diana. Just saying Delmar Delmar Kelsey. Thank you. Look, some people aren't on the show anymore. You would have started from level one. Not in our group. So like two level ones fighting. That would have been great. That would have been a short fucking fun experience, though. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. We wouldn't have been any help, but still. We'll just stay at the back here and land. This group went power leveling you to everyone. Roll perception, please. Okay. Me first.

Nobody else to do it. Okay. I won't. Hey, Diana. I had enough of your shit. I had enough of your shit. She's in front of the class putting her hand up before anyone else gets a chance to say anything. She's wicked smart. That's why. And in another back, it's fucking seen them. Your situation. Allegedly. You want to cry until that day comes, gentlemen. Keep the head of the grindstone. Can we just quote those two movies, please? Okay. Hondo. Actually, Hondo Duncan and Yanward scanning the battlefield. Now that the mammoths have kind of cleared things out, they've cut a swath clean through and picture it almost as like a water parting.

That's kind of what it looked like into the fray. You can see a downed carrick. The Dragonborn leader. It appears as though he's taking significant arrows to the chest and back, and he's kind of leaning against this huge fucking broadsword. He's wheeling. Is there anybody around? Because seeing the field medic, I want to run up and help him. You could definitely get to him if you wanted to. This is going to insert you into the fray a bit, and you might get jumped afterward, but you could get to him if you want to. Alternatively, you can ignore him and keep pushing forward where the mammoths have cut a swath.

You could definitely edge your way quite a ways in. Y'all homies with me on this, because that's the leader right there. We get that guy up, we might get some more help. Agreed. I'm just saying, we don't have to do it. Roll a history check to see if you would even know who Carrick is. Boom, okay. History is not terrible. It means a 50. You would have known Haskin. You would not have known Carrick. He would not have known anything that would signify that he's a higher rank than other people. Yenward would recognize him, maybe? Yenward would recognize him, though.

Okay. Can you hear me? Is he in earshot? He's kind of busy. You can tell from the rest of us that he's the leader. Yeah. Okay. Alright, so there was a dude named Haskin, and he was in charge, and I kind of killed him. So now it's this new guy, but they kind of are killing him, so we don't save him. You guys let him mate a lot of enemies, but right now we're in war, and we need to help these people. They're on our side. Alright, here's what we're going to do. Everyone roll athletics checks. Oh, can we not? Go first. Okay, you guys can go now. Wow. Okay, thanks. Eight.

That's a ten. With ease. So, Thor. And Yenward. Yenward and Thoril are going to get to Kerrek before he can be finished off. Yeah. But he is in a bad way. Double portion down to Spiros. I got him, I got him, I got him. Heaving hands, baby. Can we drag him to the swath cleared by the manlets? You can, actually. With another athletics check, you can. Hold on, Thoril, wait for me. Alright. Ooh. You have to... Ooh. Double potion. Wow. Just dragging by his face. It's like, bump, bump, bump, bump, hitting every rock. Just hitting rocks. Yeah. Kerrek is too heavy for you to move.

He's wearing big plated battle armor, and he's a big heavy Dragonborn dude. Can I see this happening? You can, but you can't get to him. Can I just yell, create a shield around him? The two of them, yes. Yeah. The important thing is that they've gotten to him before he can be polished off, so he was in no condition to really fight much further. And you can tell he's in a real bad way, and he's gonna kind of look up to you inward. Hey, remember me? He's gonna give this deep growl like, "Oh fuck, but that's not... You're gonna save the day!" Oh wait, but not only...

Ginward still thinks Nathaniel and all of them are dead too. Right? Not only is this not super honorable, it's not great. It's just... Ginward flashes the goofiest smile while he's doing it. It's like this big goofy fucking Minotaur just saved his ass. It's like, "Don't worry buddy, the last person you want saved." Pretty much, yes. You were the one who was greatly dishonored. Yeah, so... So after a couple seconds, he's just kind of slumped down. Just leave me behind. Leave no good soldier behind. Come on, come on, get up. Let's go. One foot in front of the other.

Come on, come on. Come on. He's gonna kind of lean against Ginward. Give me a Perception roll please. Okay. Just me, Tyler, you didn't say anything. I'll give you the look. Oh, Thoril's there too. Yeah, give me a Perception roll. Okay. Sixteen. So you guys are in the thick of things right now. And Keric's going to glance around the battlefield. This is not going well. You don't say. The boy king wouldn't approve, but we need to summon Strahd. Yes, get the dragon. Who's Strahd? And Keric's just kind of, like you can see his fucking scaly, lipless mouth kind of upturn.

Is there a history check we can roll on this? You absolutely can. There you go. I was going to say, couldn't they put two and two together because they mentioned that the Dragonborns wanted to use a dragon? Group one doesn't add things up. I'm playing my character. Yeah, but Thoril. It's not worth arguing over. So you guys have been through dragon's reach. One of the reasons it's gotten that name, of course, is the fact that there are fucking dragons living out there. Red dragons specifically. And the largest and oldest currently of those dragons is Strahd.

He would start off by, way back in the day, just picking off random farm animals or people or whoever happened to be wandering around out there. And eventually, the Dragonborn, tame isn't the right word, but kind of reached an agreement with it. That they would keep it well fed. And in turn, Strahd wouldn't just randomly attack. They have to pay protection. Basically, they're paying protection money to this dragon. And in turn, Strahd has basically been... It is not uncommon to see his humongous shadow kind of pass over. It's a scary ass sight. You'll be out traveling from one end of Theria to the other or in the forest or something and then all of a sudden it goes black as night.

And you just hear this humongous god damn winged lizard skim over the ground. Sometimes he'll just kind of buzz people and you never know exactly what he's going to do. So in turn for this protection money that they're paying Strahd, he is tied to the Dragonborn and can be summoned by blaring this horn that is carried by the Dragonborn leader at all times. The problem is, while a dragon is an incredibly useful and destructive tool, it's not exactly surgery. It is... You hit air, bah. Oh, it's whoever can get out of the way. That's who gets to live. So it is up to you, Thoril, whether you're going to let him blow into this horn and summon Strahd.

That's a decision. And nobody can help him. Do it! Yennwood wouldn't know what was going on, so Carrick would be taking out this horn, leaning against Yennwood, and he is going to get ready to try and blow into it. Now, it is up to Thoril. It wouldn't be hard to wrestle this away from Carrick. Now, here's the risk/reward of it. I just want to make sure you understand. Is he beholden to whoever has the horn? No. Okay, never mind. No. No. Still the issue we're going to try. So, just so that you understand the risk/reward of it, this dragon can cut a swath through their army.

Through everyone's army. Through everyone's army, potentially. You don't know... It is a fucking dragon. I know you listened to group two. This is not a Mara you're dealing with. This is not a rational beast that you could talk to. Firstly, none of you can speak... Well, I mean, Draconis, I guess, could. I can speak to you. They're not going to listen to any of us. You can speak, Strahd. But, yeah, this is a big, savage monster. That's the only way I can describe it. They are summoning the Kraken. We're losing the battle. We can't help him. None of us can help him.

It's all a quarrel. I've already made my decision. I'd like to preemptively say this, because I know this is going to come up. While I can prevent him from doing this, he is the one blowing the horn. I know this argument will come up in future. This argument will come up in the future. He is the one blowing the horn. I could do something about it, but I must... Once again, this isn't like I have an orb and I'm hitting a button and running away. This is something that would be very helpful to us. And, once again, I'm not the one doing it. I'm just sort of allowing it to happen.

Okay, let me preemptive your preemptive. Malchus. You have a new mouth, Malchus. Hold on. You're behind a guy in a liquor store and he pulls a gun. And while you could do something to stop this guy with a gun... Now that's slightly different because... We're debating morals, let's just do it. It's up to you. The liquor store clerk would have done nothing wrong to deserve a gun in his face. Meanwhile, this is an entire army of enemies. This is true. I completely... I'm just letting... Don't worry. I'm sure this will be debated months from now. I'm already anticipating months from now this is going to be debated on mailbags and on Twitter and everything else.

Marcus. See, I told you Marcus that time instead of Malchus. So, in that moment of truth, Dorale is just gonna look at him and just nod his head. Yes! Oh, you nodded at him. You're an accessory. That's not even a plausible deny below. See, I thought... See, the smart thing would just be "walk away." If you would have just walked away. You approved. Actually, that might just be the thing. I just look at everybody and just be like "hall ass." Too late. Too late. Hold on. Fine. I nod and then say "hall ass." Carrick is going to blow into this horn. So, is that loud enough for us to hear?

Oh, yes. I don't know what history check to see what that is. Roll a history check, please. 29. Okay, can I get the heck out of this? I was just going to listen to Thoril when he said "run away." Well, we might not have been able to hear him. We would have had real perception stuff. Genward was there. Let's go away. Away. Away. Away. Jake. Let's see. Okay, so... We're still pretty close to the back. We haven't made too much progress. I should probably know what it is by default anyway. Yeah, I'm just gonna... Okay. Diana. I had a high roll, though. Duncan and Draconis are all going to know what that horn signifies.

It is a magically imbued horn held by the current Dragonborn leader at all times that is used to summon Strahd. So this kind of lets loose... This is almost deafening. This is a huge... That noise should not be coming from a small horn. And it just kind of rumbles throughout the battlefield. And for just the briefest of seconds, everything stops. Everyone stops fighting. Everything stops. Um... Hey guys, how about let's take a few hundred steps this way. Diana's gonna... Can I... Yeah, can we just... Can I use ghost sound to project like someone yelling "retreat" somewhere in the middle of our forces?

During the silence, I want all of you to do me a favor and very quickly, are you going to run? And keep in mind that Yenward doesn't know what's going on, but you can tell him. So are you... Yeah, just be like... Are you just beating a retreat or just... Absolutely. I'm just gonna yell at Yenward, it's like "Yenward, follow us!" And I'm just gonna start running through all of it, yelling at our guys to retreat. And I... Just a dead run, just... Just yelling retreat. So yeah, we're trying to get the soldiers out too. It's not just us. We're trying to move. Diana's gonna toss like a ghost sound, like a couple of ghost sounds as she's running just as far away as she can.

Just like... Which is not very far. Still, it's... Someone yelling through it. Hey, wait, can I bring up also that if we're running through a crowded crowd yelling retreat and throwing ghost sounds everywhere, the Overwatch are gonna hear it too. Their retreat is a lot further than our retreat. Right, I'm just throwing it out there that yeah, you're dealing with fucking thousands of soldiers here, so you're gonna get a few of them tops. Hey, hey, it's better than nothing. I hear ya. So, a couple of seconds go by with the silence and everyone kind of stops.

And then the first one to throw a punch is a lone dwarf. Of course. Sorry, that was... Seeing an opportunity, he swings his hammer into the knee of an Overwatch soldier and begins the fight all over again. Almost like watching the wave begin at a stadium where... I imagine just dead silence. *grunts* Yeah, just that. That's all you hear. And you guys are gonna hear another sound on top of that. Uh oh. Oh gosh. And that is the roar of Strahd as he approaches the battlefield. Oh, he's so pretty. Everyone roll perception, please. See the pretty, cute child. Why are you getting nines? *laughs* That was not a cut.

Oh, damn. How do I not see the direction? *laughs* Well, the way I would rationalize it is, like, Karik is kind of leaning on you and you're kind of paying attention to him. Okay. As long as it's not in battle, I can get some good rolls. Thoril. Duncan. Diana. Yeah, word. Draconis and Hondo. Everyone except you. From the north, you're going to see the largest red dragon any of you would have ever set eyes on. He starts off very high in the air. Almost a speck in the horizon. And very quickly, he is going to descend and almost accelerate towards you. He is going to open his mouth wide and roar, and you can see fire bubbling within his fucking throat.

And I think that's a good time for us to stop for this evening. And now we're paragon. Right now. Yeah, now we're paragon. Let's do it. And we're all dead. We ran, man. We're good, right? Well, we kind of ran that far. Let's find out. Again, you're dealing with a dragon who can fucking traverse Theria in minutes. Yeah, but he's on our side. And he's heading right towards us, so that's not good. He's a well-wisher in that he doesn't necessarily wish you any specific harm. It doesn't mean you'll feel bad about burning any of you alive. Except for me. This is... Dwarf.

Cute. Yeah, this is... This is going to be interesting. This world's changed everyone's everything. Out of character, Jason, where's Nathaniel in the battle? Let's go. Oh, he... I can't tell you that. That would be at the front. That whole fucking family's going to be slaughtered. Aren't you part of that family? Isn't that your son? Yeah. We don't know that for sure. Allegedly. Jason said it was about 50/50. So, allegedly. Well, there's definitely two potential fathers, so... Three, because he was under the bed. I was under the bed. Got sloppy seconds. So... Gross. So, that was a long session, guys.

Yeah, I liked it. I had fun. How are you feeling about it? Let's do it. Oh, wow. That was intense. So awesome. Yup. Strahd is going to fuck things up. This is going to be bad. Thoril has altered everyone's story by doing this. Why did you do this, Thoril? Because dragons are awesome. Oh, fuck off! Everyone is like, "Do it, man, do it." No one's arguing that dragons are awesome, but... Only one person said, "Do it, Thoril." Only one person. It was your decision. I didn't say anything. You would have done the same fucking thing. You know who I wrestled it away from.

You never know. You never know now. Now you're not going to say, just out of sheer plausible deniability, "You nodded." Now the path to Carter is going to be a lot easier. Let's look at the front row. It's just being engulfed in flames. It's a bit more burnt. That sucks. He's going to get the notable kill. But you know what? You can kill him. Oh, god, no. Let's not attack the giant monster dragon thing. The dragon's flying overhead and Draconis is just throwing fireballs at him. He probably wouldn't even notice. It's raining on him. I also love that this is happening and Yenn-Wyrd doesn't notice anything.

He's just... Why are we running? I would imagine after the roar, that's pretty much it. No, I don't think he would. I think there's a lot of people who would be like, "No, I don't think he would. I think there's just so much commotion." He's just... Oh, the roar. For a while, yes, that fucking roar would get everyone's attention. And the problem is, now it's way too late. Hey, remember, now when you go to take back the mountain, there aren't going to be any doors there to stop you. There also won't be any minotaurs to back you up. Or drive. There may not be any anything.

That's awesome. That's how thorough-altered everyone's ever been. I'm going to catch so much shit for this, I just know it. No, it's cool. This is a cool development. This is awesome. We were losing the battle. I felt compelled to preempt it, because I know what's going to happen when this episode comes out. I just know what's going to happen. Dude, the fan page will explode. I'll get 600 million emails. That's what the show's all about. And ladies and gentlemen at home, if you'd like to hear more of the show, you can donate to the Kickstarter that is currently up right now.

Give us the money. Kickstarter.com, type "dungeons and randoms" into the little search bar, click the little magnifying glass, and boom. Or, alternatively, if you don't want to go through all the effort, because that sounds like a lot of effort, whatever, go to dnrpodcast.com, and boom, it's right there on the banner. Big green letters. It's pretty proud of us. We just had another person get the Martyr's Retribution. Nice. God. Because that is kind of an insane value, and especially if we hit stretch goals. Oh my god, guys. She can make straws. Palm rosé. Well, let me see.

There are three original modules that are in that. If we hit stretch goals, then, uh, Jesus, then you at home, I would write it up, you could play through the greater good, dedicated to those who have fallen, and a fourth original module. They will have NPCs from the show, they'll have full breakdowns of how to run things, how mechanics work in certain circumstances, so that's just one thing that's in that one tier. There's a bunch of other shit in that tier, and all the way down. I want the horn to sound like a conch, not a bullhorn. But yeah, there's going to be sound effects colliding.

You should totally get the soundbite from Godzilla. That's what I was thinking when you said it roared. I was like, man, I wish I could do a Godzilla impression. Dude, what I'm picturing in my head is so deeply unsettling when you hear it in the distance, and then up top, like, when he's right on top of you in the sled, it's like, I've just shit myself and I have no control over it. Like, just the bass from his, just, ugh. You should layer in some, like, a car compactor, just a screechy metal, and just put that in there, so it's awful. Just the worst, dude.

Like a fucking pterodactyl on steroids, like, just the worst noise. We need more dragons on the show, like, that was awesome. The problem is, we had a "good dragon" on the show, and now we got a fucking- Now we doin'. We had a bad dragon on the show, but it was like, a black dragon, which are small and more sneaky and like, you know, nasty. That's racist. Well, I mean- I blame the lack of strong metal models. That dragon came from a bad neighborhood. You know, since they had been poached to extinction, they are kind of- Yeah. You'd be bad too, if you fucking, you know.

So what's up with Amara then? I mean, is she just chillin', or what? Well, if we- She swoops down and eats the remains of her hand. Here's what's crazy about the situation that you've entered into now. You had a decision, right? And now you have no decision. This thing is a force of nature. You can't stop it if you wanted to. It's a flying flaming hurricane. Dude, we're like terrorists. We don't have to necessarily fight it, right? We can just let it wreak havoc and then- Yeah, sure can. We're leaving. As long as we can get out of there. We're going to Duran Hollow now.

We're going to the Overwatch man. I mean, we still have plan B. I mean- What's plan B? We can still totally be outlaws. I mean- Oh yeah. If the armies on our side get wiped out, that means those armies aren't defending those towns. Like, is Strahd attacking the city of Overwatch? He's attacking everything. He sees a grouping of people. What kind of stupid dragon is this anyway? I mean, he heard the horn. He shouldn't come directly and attack the fucking people with the horn. Stupid dragon. Well, that's the agreement. You see, the agreement ends after the horn.

It's like, "Oh, hey, dude. You called me." Yeah, this is what you signed up for. "I do what I do. That's why you called me." "I don't see." Carrick's like the predator at the end of Predator, when he's just like, "Fuck you, I'm fine." And click click click click click click. Dude, they don't like to lose. Carrick would gladly sacrifice himself and everyone there to make sure the Overwatch don't win. Not because it's the greater good, or because the Overwatch is immoral. It's because he's a fickle man, Joe. It's because, "Fuck you, I win." That's it. That is it.

It has nothing to do with morality. It has nothing to do with "You will not beat me." "I will get the last laugh." That's the strangest moral code of nanner nanner goo goo. It's just like a dragonborn thing. At least in the show, we can't be blamed for it. We have no connection to it. Well, most of you don't. I can only imagine how pissed he would be about the big dumb retard fucking saving his life. Oh, absolutely furious. That may have been what led to him calling it. It's like, you know what? It's a particular big dumb retard. Loses his legs, pulls off of his cot, and tells him how, "I'm just gonna end that reference." That was a Forrest Gump reference, I'm with you.

How you're supposed to die in the field. "I gotta go back to get Bubba!" Go ahead, Kels. Sorry. I totally took the wind out of the ceiling. Sorry. After Strahd is done, I guess, he's gonna go back? Here's the thing. Done is a relative term. Perhaps well done is a better term. Also, the real question is, I guess you probably can't tell us, but is Carter gonna survive that? I can't tell you how I could not possibly. Is the staff that he holds, would that survive it? Can I go fry the staff out of his charred fingers? 'Cause I will. I really hope that he gets burned alive.

I want #KentuckyFriedKing trending after that episode. It's a legendary weapon, it shouldn't be burned up, I want it. Kentucky Fried Carter would still be good. Kentucky Fried Carter, yes, would make a difference. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm a bit retarded, yes. I don't think we thought about that afterwards. This Stradivarius guy... Yep, he's a very old violin. Listen, that's my reference to it, and that's how it remained in my mind. Stradivarius. We have no means... I'm just trying to get this very clear. We have no means to control this dude. No benefit. No, it is.

For fuck's sake, Thorl. Jesus Christ. We just became malkus all over again. We're terrorists, we're fucking shit. You know what I'll do though? If people get on my case about it, I'll just do the opposite of Rob. I'll fucking own it. I'll just be like, you know what? Did what I had to make, fuck you guys. We could go be outlaws, and since all the other races are dead, we could just go through all of their cities and stuff and take all the good shit and set up somewhere good. I mean, the dwarves probably have a ton of treasure in that mountain, right? Take a small unprotected city and just take it over.

Pretty much. This is like, "Nom, what's the point? What are we even doing here? Let's just leave." All of the armies are burned up. There's nobody to stop us. We can rule the world, man. I'm like the Expendables, you know, just going on missions, taking money. This is gonna be so bad. It's like having the power to freeze time, and you did it just inches before someone's punching you in the face. So there's not, like, you can't do anything about it. You've just stopped time. It's like, "Okay, well that's... Okay, well..." I'm so excited. This is awesome. This is the best thing.

I picture an A-bomb hanging two feet above Nagasaki. You can just go up and touch it. Yep. But you can't stop it. Oh, shit. It's like a whistle because it's slowed down enough. It's just a hum now. Dude, this is... It's gonna be bad. This thing is a massive... Just a force of nature. It's a wild, uncontrollable animal that can kill everything. So how old is Strahd? Twelve. He's this many, and I'm holding up neither. He's still in his terrible twos phase. That's why we can't control him. Wow, that bombed. Wow. It happens. Strahd is... When the crowd back door. Make the potty joke from earlier.

It's still relevant. Go, go, go. Strahd is in his later hundreds. Okay. He's old then, yeah. Maybe he's, like, blind and has Alzheimer's. Well, no, not like... Old for a dragon means more powerful. Like, dragons get better as they get older. Shit. And dragons be, like, thousands of years old. Yeah. It's not that old. He's a young pup. He's an upstart. He's rounding the bases towards his first thousand. That's pretty fucking old. Oh, I thought you said a few hundred. Like, he was, like, a hundred. No, no, he's in his later hundreds. Okay, I pictured... We're talking nine hundred and so, yes.

Like, we are... He is old. I thought you meant, like, better... Old enough to barbecue every man, woman, and child in Theria if he wanted. That ain't scary. Now, that isn't to say he's invincible. It's to say that... Does Theria have, like, a Florida we can send him to? Because he's so old? Yeah. Collect social security benefits. Once they get to certain lengths, they do kind of tend to, like, sleep more, right? Like, kind of... Yes, but he's not a savage. Yeah, I know, I know he's not, but... Well, okay, here's Strahd's situation. Picture a fighter in his prime, but someone's made a deal and it's like, "Okay, just don't hit anybody, man.

Be cool. Let's use diplomacy to hash things out." But I'm gonna... We're gonna take care of you, though. But the entire time, he's just working out and getting pissed. Working out and getting pissed. Like, he's just sitting there, just like, "Motherfucker." Like, I can't... Like, look, we made an agreement and I'll stick to it, because dragons are honorable for the most part. But I really want to hurt someone. So, the day finally comes. This horn has been passed down generation to generation to generation. So this is just years upon years upon years upon years of just this excitement built up in him.

I'm so happy for him. And he finally gets the hot tag. He finally gets to kill something. That's so happy. He's gonna kill lots of things. The happiest guy. So, the horn being summoned essentially temporarily disbands this agreement. It's just, "Okay, you've tagged me in. This is what I do. Get out of the way or don't. I don't give a fuck." I don't want to have to fight a dragon. I don't. I mean... I wouldn't swing on him. For fuck's sake. I mean, we won't have to if Thorol doesn't let him blow the whistle. Blow the horn. It's already too late. I know. Exactly. I want to see the emails.

I want to... It's like when Tyson got out of jail and he finally got to fight Buster Mathis after three years. Just fucking rended him in three rounds. Yeah, this is gonna be nasty. It's like, "Oh god, Iron Mike, and he has tattoos now." I miss you, Mike-type. If you think about it, we might not get caught in this dude's wrath. That's good. Yeah, because we took off. I mean, so... Fire resistance, right? If he's focused on the majority of the people, we're towards the edge, so we might get a bit of fire, but he's not gonna... This is Jason, and I don't feel like that we'd get off easy.

Oh well, I'm ready to revolve next time. I'm not. I would be very sad, but... Hey, we never said that we were gonna do it. A dragon is worth it. I would die for it. Do you want to hear the good news? Oh, there's good news. I've given you some fairly extensive bad news. Yeah. You did level, which means you get all your hit points, your dailies, all that shit back, and that means Thor gets all his healing surges back. As I'm collapsing to the ground running, it's just like, "Oh yeah, I'm a paragon," and then just start... I would imagine it's like the burst of energy of taking out mammoths and doing a lot of shit, and it's like, "Fuck yeah, okay, I feel pretty good about that.

I feel a little better." Maybe the panic of the dragon sets in, and just adrenaline, it's like, "Oh my god." Is the good news that we level up? Well, you already got that news, but I'm saying as a byproduct of you leveling up, you get all your hit points. Somehow I feel the bad news outweighs the good news. Well, welcome to Theria. I don't know. I think we'll... Good news! You have gained all your hit points so you can lose them again. Let me paint a picture. Let's say that you were to take... Let's say he were to unleash this fiery wrath and you were in the middle of that, you'd be instantly dead.

We couldn't even roll d20 to see how... How fucking dead you are? You could if you wanted to be violently descriptive, but I'm saying if you were to take the full-on blast of this... You would be charred bones. Nothing would be left of you. I'm picturing Terminator 2 when she's grabbing onto the fence. Yes! Boom! Perfect! Perfect fucking... Your skin just gets boiled off of your body. The heat from this thing is so fucking intense that it just... Boom! You are flash fried and then ash. Jason, you sound way too excited, dog. It's a fucking dragon, bro. The first dragon that was on the...

Turns out that's what this all is, is he's indulging in his torture porn fetish. Hey, George, it's a titular character. It's Dungeons and Dragons. The first dragon didn't get to do anything. Is he good with hugs? Yeah, he's pretty huggable. Maybe Thor can roll a nature check. True! He's not an animal, he's an intelligent sentient being, man. Well, you can roll diplomacy check and calm him the fuck down, then! No, why would I want to do that? I need to talk to you! I just came out of prison, I got all these guys to kill. I want to give him a hug. He's very cute.

She just stands there, her arms open wide, she's got the biggest smile. Bite like the girl on the rooftop in Independence Day. I'm ready! This, oh my god, the destructive force of this thing is amazing. I wish I could show you what's in my head. I want it to just... This is why we need animators. There's just going to be, like, you burn away that part on the map, kind of. Like, have that sort of, like, blackened... He has, oh, no, dude, he has the power to change the face of Theria. Oh, that's so cool. He has the raw power, if he wanted to, to take whole cities out.

I'm so happy. Good job, Tyler. I'm so glad we went through with this. This is amazing. If Thor had stopped him, like, I was about to start rolling stuff to try and get him to not do it. Or, like, to blow the floor. Can I stop him from stopping him? Pretty much. Like, roll perception to see what's going on. Roll it. I can't wait to find out what the hell Overwatch did to Diana, to be honest. I had to eradicate them from the map. Not great. It's not really the Overwatch in particular, but it's stuff relating to them. And it's not, like, it's really, like, well, okay, it's a bunch of bigoted humans trying to take over everything.

Like, why not wipe them off? Like, that's a good thing for her. And also, yeah, like, she... But there's definitely, there's a lot of stuff that has been done before, suffice to say. Well, picture... Okay, on the Overwatch side, picture this as the last days of Hitler. Because this is... the coin's gonna fall one of two ways. Either this dragon is going to obliterate everything, and then turn on the city and start trying to take that out. Or, one way or another, he is going to be an equalizer. If the Overwatch win this fight, that means that there truly really is no one left to stop them from eventually rolling over the rest of Theria.

It definitely would slow them down, whatever happens now. But if they were to win out against you, there's no one left to stop them. There's no army of Winterhaven. I mean, there are some ravens back home, but there's no one left. Yep. There's no one left to stop us. I mean, do you guys want to be pirates? Oh yeah, we could totally be air pirates and go around the world and do piratey things. We could make friends with Strahd and we could ride on his back. And it would start. Yeah, Strahd is essentially the antithesis of Amara. He's amazing. Look on the bright side, the heat's on Malchus now, you'll get him back.

Strahd is my favorite, he's my new favorite character, everyone else. I can't wait for my Twitter to blow up on this. I want fierce Strahd to trend. I want that. Hold on, hashtag Thorelsfallen. No, it's Jesus. Just a buck-toothed Thoril while a dragon blows like a fucking horn. #Thorelsfallen #fearshirah Just a little speech bubble that says, "Go ahead!" Go ahead. Just thumbs up while you nod. I can't wait for this episode to air. Just that caricature grin with two thumbs up. And the entire... Go ahead. I was just gonna say, all of Overwatch is on fire in the background too.

We should do a mailbag after that airs. I feel like we're coming up on a mailbag. We haven't done one since Missouri. And I think... You know what? After this episode and the next group three, group two's been doing enough, I think we should get a mixture of the cast and try and sit down. I forgot we can do that again.