Former Life

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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We want you to feel confident you're covered. Click to learn more. Policy exclusions and limitations apply. Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield is the trade name of Blue Shield. Blue Cross Blue Shield Healthcare Plan of Georgia Inc. Hi, this is Kat from Group 3 on the Dungeons & Randomness podcast. Thank you for listening. It would be fantastic if you could go over to iTunes, give us a five-star rating and a review. Maybe hit us up on Facebook and on Twitter. You can find us on Twitter @dandrpodcast. From there you can find all of the other character Twitters.

We also have a YouTube, which you should just be able to find by searching DNR podcast on YouTube. We have a Patreon, so if you want to donate a little bit to us every month, that's patreon.com/dandr. We are actually giving away an Xbox One bundle on the drawers on Christmas Day. All you have to do is be donating to Patreon to be entered for that. Thank you very much and I hope you enjoy the session. Let's do the thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table starting with Kat. Hi, I'm Kat Charlie and I play Fi, the Changeling Fith.

And Mack. Hey, I'm Mack and I play Kaluna Volgarest, Wild and Shaman. And Bree. Hello, I'm Brianna Richardson. I play Jadzia Grace, the Human Warlock. And last but not least, let's welcome back to Group 3, Miss Izzy Chadwick. Hi, I'm Izzy and I play Una, the Half-Elf Paladin. [clapping] Good to be back. So, stuff happened in Episode 91. Group 3 finally got to Brightport and they got themselves a dragon. So they are currently getting ready to take flight in Brightport right now. Meanwhile, Una and Bree went through quite a bit in Esterholt. Bree ended up threatening Julie's life at the Temple of Kord to get her to bring Una back when she was denied the right to go fight death.

So Una came back, but according to her there is nothing on the other side. She saw nothing. Nothingness. So, no Kord, no Heaven, and she took that poorly. So, she freaked out a bit, broke a hell of a lot of things in the temple, and then left. So what we're going to do is catch up. Let's catch up with everyone in Brightport first. So, the party, I would imagine, has gathered around Amara. It probably took a few minutes for everyone to get down to the basement where Jadzia was. Did Jadzia do anything with Amara before they got there? Did you say anything to her?

Because you're just kind of out in the street right now and this dragon is immense. People are definitely taking notice of you guys. It's almost a common occurrence in this section of Brightport now. They know the dragon. They know what house it belongs to. But there's still a little panic every time that she backs out into the street and is just floating around. There's always that, "Hey, huge fucking dragon in the city." So, is there anything that you did before the party got there? I imagine she would just kind of be shifting from one leg to the other and staring at the ground, rubbing the back of her neck like, "Nothing to see here." So, let's say that Kaluna, Valus, and Fi have entered this big-ass room and they're funneling out into the street to meet you guys.

What would Kaluna and Fi's reactions be to seeing Amara for the first time? Something along the lines of, "Holy shit!" Fi would probably run or jog into the room and just kind of go, "Oh, this is a big room." And then see Amara and just stop and just like, "Holy fuck, that's a big dragon." Also, would Amara be kind of looking in our direction? As you funnel into the room, yeah. She's kind of keeping an eye on things in the house, but she'd be kind of catty-corner. She'd be out in the street. The street runs parallel to the house, so she would be out in the house, but she would kind of swing her neck around so she could look back inside.

She was doing that anyway when Jadzia was in there. Fi would bow slightly. So, Valus is going to approach Jadzia. He is not excited about the prospect of climbing on this fucking dragon again. He is not a fan. Is there a saddle on the dragon? No, there's not. It's not really meant to be ridden so much as it can be. So, like Strahd, Amara has these spines that go down her back and it's actually pretty easy to wedge yourself. She's so damn large, pretty much like Strahd, only bigger. She's so large you can just kind of wedge yourself in between. It's actually quite easy to ride Amara because she's not trying to bank and lose you.

It's not like when Una was fighting Strahd and he was physically trying to shake her off of. She would be actually taking it very gentle and it's quite a smooth ride. The thing is, Valus is petrified of heights and the last time the dragon landed and he was on the back of it, that didn't end well. Okay, when Jadzia sees how upset Valus looks, can she reach into her bag and try to fasten some sort of handle to tie to the dragon so we can hold on better? Oh, you mean like tie rope to the scales itself? Yeah. Yeah, you can totally do that. She'll do that.

Okay, let's see. Here, see? It's okay, honey. This will be fine. Do me a favor, roll an athletics check. Now this won't be a high check, but this is just- Can I try magical knots? This is rope from her magic show. This is- Okay, athletics. 16. Okay, that's perfectly fine. This was just to tie a little knot around one of the spines on Amara. So, Valus is- that kind of sets him at ease a bit. You guys have to scale this dragon to get on the back of it. Even though she's crouched down and she's as low as she can get, you kind of have to scale her like a wall just to get onto her back in the first place.

So you'd have to kind of step up on her feet, then leg, and then walk on her back to get- I mean, it's a bit of a climb. So, if everyone would do me a favor and please roll an athletics check, just to see how well you get on the back of her. [laughter] Oh no. The good thing is my knot tying went really well though. How tall is Amara? Okay, so she's crouched down. So it's not ridiculously- it's not a ridiculous climb because there are footholds. Like again, you can climb up her legs, but you're still looking at about 25 feet or so to get all the way to the top of her.

Can I use my telepathy thing? You sure can. Awesome. Okay. So, okay. Kaluna gets on the back of- let's get Valus in here, jeez. Okay, so Kaluna gets on the back of Amara with not too much trouble at all. Valus and Jadzia have a much tougher time. It would appear as though Valus is really trepidatious about getting on the back of this dragon, and he's kind of lumbering up the side of her leg. Jadzia's having a real hard time. I would imagine Jadzia would go just before Valus. So Valus is actually going to use his hands and try to give Jadzia a boost. So she- oh man, she rolled a five.

So she's just slipping on the back of the dragon and trying to- yeah. She almost falls off like two or three times, just trying to get a foothold in this dragon. But eventually, everyone settles in and you guys are set to go. Just before Amara starts to stretch and get ready to take off, David is going to come running out from the back of the house. And he's going to flag you down in just one second. And he's going to walk up to Jadzia and hand her a note. Should I read it out loud so that the whole piece goes? Sure, if you like. You can either just keep it to yourself or read it out loud.

Totally up to you. Okay. Let me see if there's anything special. Okay, I'll read it out loud. I don't want to see if there's anything I didn't want to keep a secret. It says, "Dear Jadzia, I trust that you'll take good care of Amara and in turn she'll look out for you. Valus tells me that you have an interest in magic and research. Perhaps the next time you visit we can talk about that. It just so happens that this house has quite an interesting library. You may find some things that pique your curiosity. Have a safe journey, Tessia Grimness." So that's really nice.

She'll smile and show Valus, "Hey look, your mom wrote me a note. That's so nice." Then put it in her pack. So if you guys are ready, as soon as Jadzia gets the signal, Amara's going to take off. I'm in charge of the dragon? You're the only one who can speak to it. Sweet. Alright. Then after Valus and I are both securely tied to the dragon, because clearly we need to be. If anyone else would like to tie themselves up, I think everyone has robes. I'd suggest it. As a just in case measure, that's totally an option if you guys want to tie yourself to this dragon.

I'm new to flying dragons. I've never done stick shift before. Oh wait, Amara's a girl. Penis joke. Okay, then let's go. Okay, do me a favor, roll a diplomacy check there, Jadzia. Diplomacy, sorry, windows. Diplomacy check. Those always go well. 18. Ah, cool. You're fine. So, Amara has learned, she's taken off many times in the city by now, and she has learned that it is better to get as far away from these buildings as she can before she starts flapping her wings. Because a lot of these houses in Brightport, especially in the lower quarter, are very old, and she's done a bit of damage in the city.

So she's going to start to stomp her way through the city, shredding light enough that she's not implanting her footprint in the street, but it's still quite a sight if you're just out buying apples or something and then, "Oh shit, giant dragon." So, new visitors, you can always spot a new visitor to Brightport because they have no fucking clue that Amara lives there until she steps out of the house, which is always fun to see. So, after she gets a safe distance away from houses, she's going to spread her wings and sort of leap into the air and then catch herself with her wings and start to fly off. Now, this is not the safest form of takeoff for passengers, as it jostles the shit out of them and it's not as smooth as if she were to just stand there and flap her wings and take off easily.

She's kind of leaping into the air and it jostles you a bit, but since you're all tied in, I would ask that you all roll an endurance check, but the check is going to be pretty low. Whee! 28. 20. 24. Okay, you're off. Oh, wait, Phallus. Oh, Phallus, honey. He's got to have high endurance, right? Yeah, he has pretty decent endurance. Let me check that. What is his endurance? It was less than Jadzia's, though, wasn't it? Yeah, it was less than Jadzia's, but Jadzia's is pretty damn high. Mine's really high. Yeah, this is like a 9. My athletics blows, but I can endure shit.

Yeah, okay, he rolled a 19. He's fine. Yeah. Unless someone crit won that, that wasn't gonna... But you take off, and you're going to be a few hours in the air here, but it is a much faster and safer journey than your journey to get to Brightport, I assure you. 'Cause your journey getting there sucked, I'll be honest. You almost got arrested twice, you snapped a unicorn's neck, you watched a man get bitten in half, you... So, after a few hours, you're going to be approaching the city of Esterhold. Now, how would you like to treat this? Because, if you remember, this city was just attacked by a dragon.

Now, you would have no knowledge that the paladins Craig, Bree, and Una went to Odysseus. The original plan was for them to distract the dragon. So, you would have no knowledge that they just kept going and followed the strong doodles. Yeah, it's almost like someone did something incredibly stupid. Right. I mean, that would be incredibly stupid to go fistfight a dragon. Yeah. Right, so... Obviously, everyone would just assume that no one did anything that incredibly, ridiculously dumb. Right. Cool. Waiting for snarky chat in the Skype. So, I think because this village was just attacked by a dragon, we should fly right in with a bigger dragon.

I think that'll make everyone feel better. Totally makes sense. Like it. Oh. So... I was joking, but no one stopped it. Okay. Well, then that's what we're doing. That's center of town. Right? Great. Okay, so we should pull over near the side of town and put one of those locks on our dragon so that no one can steal her. Would it be good to fly fairly high and go around the surrounding area, see if we can see anything? Essentially, yeah. We should probably observe the perimeter. Okay. Everyone do me a favor. Roll Perception. 20. Okay, Valis rolled a 20. 16. 23. 23.

Okay. Valis... Yeah, Valis, Fae, and Kaluna are going to notice that while Esterhold took a few lumps, it's really not that bad. There were four ballistas that got chucked into the city. A few of them went through buildings. One of them kind of landed in the street and tore up the bricks there. But nothing too terrible. There was a building that was demolished. And that sucks. But other than that, it could have been a hell of a lot worse, especially if this dragon started breathing fire or attacked the city proper. It looks as though that a lot of people who evacuated...

The city looks pretty bustling. So it looks like either they got the hint that the dragon just didn't come back after a couple of days and came back, or they just took a risk and came back anyway. Maybe they forgot something. Either way, the city looks pretty bustling. Now, timeline-wise, to clear up any confusion with people at home, the events of the last episode took place almost about two and a half days apart from each other. So Bree and Una have been in Esterhold for two and a half days waiting for the party to get back. So they are now locked in the exact same timeline, just to alleviate any confusion.

So how would you like to land this sucker? Slowly and gently? I'm guessing outside the city. Outside the city, yes. I don't have the map with me right now because I'm on a different computer. Oh shit, I need to move my computer out of there. I'm guessing right around the same area as Strahd landed before. That seems kind of like a bad idea. Well, I mean, it's up to you. That's just south of the city. That's a really huge open field. Really nothing there to hurt. Right. Yeah, sure, then we'll do it there. As long as when we start to go down, we notice that there's not any people around.

Thank you, Cap. Right. I kind of figure that's a given. I don't want people who are scared of dragons to see a dragon. Oh, everyone's scared of dragons. Some people have a crazy... Freshly scared. Right. Yeah. So this is going to be a really shocking sight to the people in the city because while... Okay, seeing a red dragon fly over the city is rare and scary as hell in these parts. A white dragon is not at all from these parts and especially something the size of Amara. So she's going to circle the city while you guys scope things out and you can see where people are starting to scatter.

And then approaching the city, the southern portion of the city, she's going to land and just before she gets to the ground, she's going to start beating her wings really, really aggressively. So that the approach is going to be a hell of a lot softer than when she approached the streets of Brightport. So it's going to be a very gentle landing this time. Aw, thanks, honey. She's been having lessons. Yeah, she's getting used to the whole takeoff landing thing. So having landed, you guys are a fairly good distance away from the city. I imagine you're just going to leave Amara here.

It's not like anyone's going to fuck with her. No one's smart anyway. Again, only an idiot would fist fight a dragon. It's just... Okay, we should probably tell her something. We shouldn't just leave her here and be like, "Ah, come back when we feel like a bitch." See, I guess after we all dismount, Jadzia will tell Amara that they're going to go into town and they should be back soon, like before sunset, let's say, because we'll need to put her somewhere. She's going to be overnight. So we'll be back before sunset. And if we're not, go home. Just in case.

I don't know. Go home? Oh my god, it might happen. Go home. She's going to nod her head again ever so slightly. So I imagine you're going to head into the city now? Sure. So where would the first place be that you... I imagine you'd be going home? And by home, I mean the house you inherited. Yeah. So, okay. I suppose so, yeah. Unless someone wants to roll a streetwise check to see what's going on. Someone who's not Jadzia, because Jadzia sucks at those. Maybe a more Fi-like person. Fi is not fantastic at that. I have a feeling Kaluna is better. Plus four? No, it's Una that's better than Fi.

I was going to be like, "The person who doesn't know how to handshake is really good with talking to people and getting information." She's just so friendly. Also super stealthy as a giant tree in the middle of the town. I think you're the highest we have right now. Yeah, it doesn't really help though. With that one. Fi is pretty sure we're in a town. Well, you're certainly in Esterhold and you are getting the feeling that people have started funneling back into the city. That's about as much as Fi would know with that roll. Approaching your house, before you get there, you're about halfway through the city getting back to your mansion.

You're going to see Bree. Everyone roll a perception check for me, please. 23. That is my third crit miss today, folks. This is going to be a good session. Let's not fight anything, guys. If we can avoid it. Can we just not? Let's just get on the dragon and ride around for three hours. I know Kaluna didn't see anything. Oh, wait, no. Mac just got back. What am I doing? Okay. 33. Good lord. Okay. Fuck. Kaluna and Fi are going to notice that while... Okay, while Brianna doesn't look like the most healthy of people all the time, she does not look great. She looks a shade paler than she normally does and she normally looks pretty pale.

And she has some dark circles under her eyes. She just appears to look sort of sickly. And she's going to come running up to you guys. Fi would probably, as she's running towards us, run up towards her and kind of stop like shortly before her. And it's like his initial reaction is, "Oh my god, it's Bri. Fantastic." Run up, say hi. And then obviously he gets closer and it's like she doesn't look too good. And yeah, so when he reaches her, he's going to be like, "Hey, are you all right? How did it go?" Kind of a long story. Actually, I need to talk to you guys about that.

Okay, Una's at the house, but I'm really going to need you to treat her with kid gloves for a while. Maybe just not be too pressing with questions. And she's going to look past you and see the dragon in the background. I see the dragon thing panned out. We brought reinforcements to fight Strahd. Let's go. Okay, let's go back to the house. But just remember, let's try to just give her a little space is all I'm saying, okay? Hey, how big is the hedge maids behind the house? Oh, it's pretty sizable. You could get lost in that for hours. Could a dragon? No. I was thinking maybe she could flatten it into a bed for herself.

Oh, if you want to have her just use that, that's totally an option. Yeah, I figured that way we know where she is. Because I'm worried about her game lost. Poor baby. I'll run back over to the dragon and be like, hey, follow us, please walk if she can fit between the things. Could you fit between the houses and shit? She would be able to. So, okay, the way Darmok's house was set up is he's sort of, he has quite a large amount of space. That was a pretty huge mansion. So the entire back portion of this hedge maze takes up enough space that she could just fly directly to it land.

And as long as she's, I mean, you don't care about it being destroyed anyway. So that, yeah, that wouldn't be in danger of hurting any of the buildings. All right, awesome. I will tell her where the hedge maze is and be like, you can go hang out there. It's right behind the orphanage. Yeah. Here it comes. Don't eat anything you find. Roll a diplomacy check, please. We'll see how well you communicate this message to her. Fourteen. Fourteen. All right. So Amara is going to go ahead and take off. Seriously, don't eat anything. So walking back to the house, Bree is going to start to fill you in on some things.

Okay, I should start off with the fact that Strahd's dead. We ended up fighting it in Odysseia and we lost Craig and all of the Paladins. And Una kind of died. Kind of died? Strahd enough doing a lot of damage to her and she bled out. A group happened by and their cleric was kind enough to buy me some time to get back to Esterholt. And I had someone at the temple resurrect her. She hasn't been taking it well. She said that there was nothing on the other side. That's the same as me. Although it's got to have more of an effect for someone who wanted to be there.

I know that when I died I didn't want to go but Una embraced it. She seeked it. I was so glad to come back. I can't even imagine how she would be taking this. Yeah, well that's why I wanted to give you a heads up about it. I'd rather her not know that I warned you about that so maybe we should just get back to the house. And she's going to start picking up the pace a little bit. She's going to keep pace with her. Jodzi will run after her too. Okay, so getting back to the house. She's going to open the door and swing around to the other side and open it and make sure that it just kind of usher everyone in.

Where would Una be? Una would probably be in the sitting room where they had the diplomatic meetings with Mr. Drowman. Mr. Drowman? Your dad, man! Seraph, right? Seraph, yeah. Whoops. Just, you know, that genetic material, you know. Jeez. So yeah, that's pretty much right inside the front door. So yeah, I imagine Una would see everyone come in. Yeah, okay. I guess she'd be kind of like waiting, sitting in like an armchair or something. I guess first appearances, like she looks kind of screwed up. Like her face is not, you know, the normal happy, you know, kind of aggressively happy Una.

She is not wearing armor, she's just wearing like a black dress. And she has burns covering her forearms that have been tattooed over completely black. So the burns have been tattooed black? Yes. Okay, cool. She wants to wipe out those tattoos in like multiple ways. Okay. So she'll stand up when everyone comes through the door and just kind of like silently walk over towards V and Jadzia and just like gather them both like into a, I don't know, like a group hug. When Jadzia first sees Una, like normally if this had, if she hadn't just heard that news, she would have run over immediately and like given her a hug.

But in between that, when they found that out, she's just going to stand there awkwardly until Una comes over. And as soon as Una wraps her arms around her, Jadzia will like put her hand on the back of Una's head and kind of stroke her hair a little bit like it's okay. It's fucked up though. Una will just kind of like pull back and like she's very calm. She's not shaking, she's not crying, she's deathly calm. And she'll look both V and Jadzia like in the eyes like one at a time. And not both at the same time and go all wall-eyed. And... Una's a horse. You just hort like...

You're a fucking Minecraft sheep. Hello, bush sheep. That's how she came back wrong, everyone. That's how the 17 gets you. It's just stupid fucking shit. Jump is for everyone. I need to get her a helmet. Sorry, I'm derailing. I'm sorry. I do realize. And she'll say, look, I want you both to know that I won't be pulling that shit again. I'm not going to risk your lives. I'm not going to risk my life for something that's stupid again. That's done. Jadzia's going to look super relieved by that, even though she was... Honestly, she was a little mad at Una at first.

Because she told you. Fucking told you. But when you say that, she's going to look much more relieved and nod. Really excitedly. But she's not going to say anything. It's on the tip of her tongue like she wants to say I told you so, but she fucking can't because you died. Do I have to roll a perception check to notice that? Or is that just something that's pretty obvious? Do me a favor and roll a perception check because I want to see if Una picks up something. 29. I'm back in the game, motherfuckers. You picked up everything. Una's going to notice the hesitation that Jadzia gave.

Una's going to notice what Brie was just talking about. She's going to pick up the fact that normally Jadzia would probably be a little quicker to embrace Una. But it sort of seems like maybe she was tipped off about your present mindset. Okay. Do I notice the Jadzia thing? Her being like, "Eh, want to say something?" But I'm not. Yeah, totally. Okay. So, Una will kind of look over at her and kind of narrow her eyes and smile just the tiniest bit. Just one corner of her mouth going up a quarter of an inch. That's actually kind of a lot. A quarter of a centimeter.

And she'll just say, "I know. You told me so." Jadzia's going to kind of huff out her nose a little bit, but she's not actually going to laugh. And then she's just going to pat Una on the shoulder. The same way Una would do for her, but it's really awkward coming from her. You know, the little punch on the shoulder that Nama Men do that Una probably does all the time. But Jadzia's doing it, so it looks kind of funny, but she's trying. And the smile will, or whatever smile there was, will just completely die. And she will just kind of move her eyes from Jadzia directly at Brie.

And not say anything, just the look. Brie's going to very quickly look down. Almost like a child getting caught stealing something. Almost like, "Oh, I fucked up." It's very much that. She's not good at lying and probably wouldn't even attempt to do the "I don't know what you're talking about" thing. She instantly knows what the look means. She knows what's going on. Okay. Una will just look back at Jadzia and Fi and take a deep breath. "Well, I see she's told you. I need to explain some things, I suppose." First of all, okay. Fi is at Brie. I suppose she's told you.

Because Fi doesn't quite know what he can and can't say. And that is, oh, she knows that she's said to us, "So he's going to be instantly relieved and he's just going to pull Una in a bit and pull Brie in as well and say, 'Welcome to the Resurrection Club. May not get any bigger.'" Brie's going to give a little smile at that. Just anything to break the tension in the room right now. Una will squeeze Fi's arm, but her expression of absolute grim sincerity remains the same. And she's going to narrow her eyes a little bit at Brie before looking back to her friends.

"I died. And I wanted to die. And I left my body. I don't not remember anything. I remember lots. But I just remember lots of nothingness. Not nothing. Nothingness. A void. There was no feeling. There was no sound. I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset. I wasn't in heaven. There was no emotion. There was no sensation. Just blackness. But I was aware of it." Hey, Jason, really quick, could I roll some sort of check to see if Judsy has ever read about other people who have come back from the dead? Judsy's like, "Oh, yeah, it's just a waiting room. Like, if you would have been dead for a little bit longer." Oh my god, you were right there.

Cor just had you take a number. Fuck. All you had to say was, "Hey, let me in. Open Sesame." Oh, dude, I thought everyone knew that. They didn't teach you that? You have to find another dragon. We got one. We brought you one special gift. You know, hedge names. So, Jadzia has read about the subject. Being someone with no soul, she has read in great detail about stories of people coming back. Because this is a world where resurrection exists. Even though the richest 1% are usually the only ones who can afford it, or the people with connections to clerics and such and such, there are detailed accounts of people coming back.

The problem is, some of these appear to perhaps be embellished. Some people just want to be looked at as the guy with the info. They're like, "Oh, I know what happens after you die." It's really tough to distinguish who's being honest and who's just spinning a fucking tail for the sake of being famous. The guy who comes back, "Oh, I met Kord. He's a totally cool guy. We got a ribeye sandwich. He told me all about Kord's heaven. It's going to be great." It's really tough. There are many accounts of people saying that there's just nothing on either side. Or, they don't remember there being anything on the other side.

It was a blink. One minute, Bree said the same thing. One minute, they were alive. That's the last thing they remember. And then they're waking up somewhere else. Some people give accounts of a brilliant light speaking to a deity or someone they presume to be a deity, having a detailed conversation, and then coming back. So it kind of runs the gamut. And it's really tough because these are written by people, and not the deities themselves. It's really tough to distinguish who's telling the truth and who would be lying. Well, that's not helpful at all. Okay, so Jadvia's just going to nod.

She's not sure if this is the right time to bring up that she's heard all these different versions of things. But she is going to say that's what some people see on the other side. It might not be all there is. I'm not sure. Well, it was enough to convince me that there is no cord. Not like the one I've been worshipping my entire life. And I need to say this because it's important that you know, and Una's going to look over at Bree like, "I'm talking to you, bitch." I would rather be in that void, feeling nothing, than alive. Feeling all the guilt and shame and all these wasted years crushing down on me.

I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm not going to try and get back there. But I feel like that should be known. Everyone roll a perception check, please. Is Bree urinating? Because she should be. 33. 10. 23. Does that count for me? Do I roll it too? Yeah, you roll it too. You're most definitely rolling this too. I forgot that Valus is here. Valus is very awkwardly placed. He's not that connected with Una to begin with. And then all this heavy shit is being laid out and he's just kind of off to the side, standing next to Jadziel. It's like, "Oh my god, this chick." Bree is very visibly... her shoulders are going to slump.

She looks more guilty than anything. Like, "I fucked up in bringing her back" kind of expression. She's very obviously... you can see she wants to say something, but there's nothing... it doesn't look like there's anything she could say that would make that better. Valus is going to very awkwardly reach his hand over and kind of place it on Una's shoulder. More trying to be reassuring than anything, but it comes off as stiff and awkward. And that's all he's going to do. He's not going to say anything. And then almost as quickly as he put his hand there, he's going to draw it back.

Almost as if Una is made of lava. Just kind of put his hand there and then put his hand back down. He doesn't know what to do with himself. And then he jumps onto the couch and he has to try to get from the living room to the kitchen without touching the floor. Valus has just ruined your couch. Down, Valus, down! Una will just twitch her shoulder like "ugh". Not like make the noise, but just kind of like "ugh, I'm still racist". Came back even more racist. No, just kind of like twitch her shoulder like "that was fucking weird". That thing made her more uncomfortable than if he just stood there.

He's not even looking at her. Put his hand there and it's like "oh right". Just start looking around the room. Jesus Christ. Okay. Like he doesn't know what to do with his hands. He keeps rubbing his hands on his pants. Just put him on Jadzia. If he thought that would be an appropriate time to do that, sure. But it seems like the wrong time. They always say that, but... Is there ever a right time, really? Yes. You guys are always fighting a dragon or defecting from the moment. I thought you just meant in general. Oh, well yeah, no. Obviously, yes. Yes. Obviously.

There's... what I'm talking about in your day to day life. I mean, you guys had like two hours on a dragon, mile high club, am I right? He's terrified. It's really hard to get an erection when he's terrified, I guess. It's just... Kaluna is going to just sort of slink out of the room and into the kitchen to make everyone some tea. I think everyone needs some comfort right now. What would Maric do? I don't know. Just make some tarts or something. I guess Jadzia would kind of like... She'll kind of like put her hand on Una's shoulder and be like, "Hey, um...

"We still got a dragon. Like, that might make you happy, right boy? Come on, come see the dragon." Which probably isn't the best way to comfort someone who was just killed by a dragon, but Jadzia doesn't realize that. Actually, everyone do me a favor and roll a perception check, please. Oh, god, I hope the dragon can't. -Zero. -Kapun! Twenty-eight. Do I still need to roll one even though I'm out of room? Seven! Kaluna can absolutely roll one, yes. Okay. -Thirty. -Damn. Twelve. Kaluna, Una, and Fi are going to feel the house shake fairly aggressively as it would appear as though Amara has circled...

She must have circled the city for a while trying to find the right angle for approach. And then, kind of taking it a bit sharp, she banks into the city and sort of slams into the hedge maze in the back. So the entire house is going to shake fairly violently. Now, Una has no fucking clue as to why that would be, but everyone else should have... I just told her. Right, but I mean, you didn't tell her that... Yeah, well, yeah, I guess you did kind of tell her. So this would be like, "Oh, we have a dragon!" It's like, boom! Then, directly after that, that's when the house starts shaking.

And it's going to do this for a few seconds and then everything's going to settle and stop. And corpses fall out of the walls! What rolls out from under the couch? It's been there a while. Una's going to look over at Bree... or not Bree, the person who Bree plays, Jadzia. That person. -I'm just going to look over at Jadzia. -Real Bree. I suck at this. It's been too long. Una's going to look over at Jadzia and just say, "I presume that's the dragon." Jadzia's going to jokingly smile and be like, "I hope so?" -"May I meet her?" -Sure. First of all, do you speak Draconic?

Nope. Oh, well, that would have been cooler. I speak elemental. I don't know if she does. That's some hardcore shit. Primordial. Oh, primordial. Primordial and goblin. Those are some convenience. Then again, Draconic. This is the first time that's been useful. I might build a doctor in primordial. I don't fucking know. I'm trying. It just sounds like the brown note. It's just... so weird. Fucking primordial. You picture something very dignified. It's like, "Okay, I'm going to speak to..." [imitates jade's voice] My first thought was that it sounds like J-pop music. [imitates jade's voice] It comes with hand gestures you have to do.

So you guys are going to walk through the kitchen and to the back door. And the entirety of the windows, back door, everything... When you look outside, you're going to see white. You're going to see Amara. She is nestled in the hedge maze. Now the hedge maze is large enough that the outskirts of the hedge maze sort of surround her. But she has very much crushed most of the center of this. And she can stretch her neck clean over the top wall of it and into the backyard. So when you open the door, it's pretty much just Amara's face. That's kind of adorable.

Yeah. Guys, I'm going to bed. Yeah, just think about how many corpses are under this dragon right now. I stepped in something, like scraping her foot off. Hey, this one looks like you. So does this one. So does these eight. I think that one was alive when I landed. Oopsies. OK, so when they see her face, Judsy is going to say, "Una, this is Amara." And then in Draconic, she's going to say, "Amara, this is Una." Una will bow very deep to Amara, considering she helped to kill and maim two of her brethren in the last few months. She feels like she should show some respect.

Amara is going to twist her head so that her eye is focused on Una. And then swing the front of her face around Una and get really close, like inches away. And then take a deep breath through her nostrils. She's sort of sniffing out Una. And then exhale deeply. And Una's going to feel... Una's not going to have to fight to stand her ground, but there is definitely... Just the briefest of seconds as this air rushes past her, there is a feeling that if she wanted to, she could blow Una over in no time flat. Like back into the house and into the kitchen if she wanted to.

But she's sort of sniffing Una out and kind of feeling her out. And then she's going to kind of push her nose, her snout against Una and kind of nuzzle her just a little. Una expected this fucking dignified as shit creature who's just like, "Yes, good. I am done here." And it's like nuzzling her, so she's like, "The fuck?" But she'll look over at Jadzia and kind of hold her hand, like hover hand above Amara's muzzle. Like, "Do I pet it? Is that okay?" Jadzia's going to kind of motion that it's okay because now that she's smelled you and hasn't reacted violently, you can probably go ahead.

Una will stroke the dragon's face for the second time in about a week. Well, yeah, it's... I like you much better than the other one. It's a much less aggressive stroking of the face. Yeah, Amara's going to react pretty pleasantly to that, just almost like a dog would, almost just very... It's sort of extending the olive branch, like, "Okay, I think you're cool. We can... Jadzia seems to vouch for you, so we're okay." Jadzia's little demon friend here, Sheldon, is going to start to clamor beneath Una's feet, just running around. And sort of try and jump up and take swipes at Amara, her lower chin, as Una's petting it here.

So he's going to just miss each time. Like, he's not quite tall enough to reach Amara, but he is trying. Can Jadzia smack him with her staff? Absolutely. Okay, she's going to do that. She's going to say, "No, down!" Smack him with her staff. So Sheldon... So he's going to get a few swipes in. Too bad you're not giant and beautiful, or we would treat you nice. So Jadzia's going to strike Sheldon in the back of the head with his staff. He's like, "Eh, just sort of... just sort of like stop everything he's doing and look up at Jadzia." "All right, all right." And shift back to Jadzia, sort of like cling to Jadzia's ankle again.

Which is kind of his default position. Every time he steps out of line, which has happened a bunch, but every time he steps out of line, Jadzia will just like fucking knock it off. Like an angry parent in a grocery store, just fucking stomp it. And then it's like, "Okay, okay, okay." And then stop and come back. Una's going to curl her lip in like just utter disgust. And just like, "You haven't killed that thing yet?" Valus is going to look at Una and then raid at Jadzia like, "Yeah, we haven't killed that thing." Like someone else is signing him and is like, "Fuck it, yeah, right." Like almost a hand motion is like, "Huh?

What have I been saying?" "Well don't be mean to my baby that I just hit in the face of the staff." "Don't you tell me how to raise my children!" "I can put Mountain Dew in his sippy cup if I want to." That goes hand in hand with the Walmart thing. I'm just saying demons should be sterilized so that we don't have so many demons running around. That's probably a good idea. That is actually pretty smart. Shit. Jadzia almost wants to tell Una the truth now because Una just trusted her. But she's going to assume that right now there's a little bit too much on her plate.

So she's going to just kind of shrug and be like, "He's not bothering me too much." "He stays in line. Look at him on my boot." Brie is going to poke her head out of the back door here but not leave the house. She's looking across to Amara and you can see that she's a little leery about coming outside. But she's just going to slightly raise her voice. "Is the dragon living here now?" "Because technically we don't need it, I guess." "I mean, should we talk about that?" Brie, do you want to pet the dragon? Is Jadzia asking? Yes, a little bit. Like kind of sarcastically not trying to be mean, but kind of.

Come pet the dragon. It's okay. I don't think you want me touching it. I'm okay. She still smells like dragon guts. Alright, so Jadzia is going to kind of nod and be like, "Right now it might be a good idea to keep her around until we know what we're doing." Even though Strahd's gone, which is awesome, by the way. No one congratulated you on that because you're all kind of worried about the Una dead thing. Good job. That should be something that gets talked about, I guess. Did we even... She just said that Strahd was dead. She never even said who killed Strahd.

No. What a humble bitch. Okay, Una's going to pipe out, but then if no one had said that I forgot that that was a thing that she hadn't clarified. Yeah, she just said that Strahd was dead. Sorry? She just said Strahd was dead. That's all she... Damn it. She's an... Okay. Una's going to look over at Bree, just absolutely expressionless, you know. And then look over at Jadzia and say, "It was Bree who killed the dragon. After I died, she finished it off quite spectacularly." From what I hear. I mean, I wasn't there. I was kind of dead. Jadzia's going to put her hands on her hips and look over at me and be like, "Then you shouldn't be scared of this one.

Come on." Because I imagine Una's hand is still on the dragon, so I'm kind of trying to convince Bree that it's safe a little bit. Roll a diplomacy check for me, please. Okay. Sixteen. Bree says, "Fuck no!" Suck inside, locks the door. She's going to step forward just slightly. And she's going to hesitate for a long while and sort of eyeing Una, touching the dragon. And then she's going to take one more step forward and... She's trying to get her hand as far away from her body as possible and sort of stretching her neck back so that her head is as far away as possible.

And then almost kind of blindly touch the dragon in the snout area. Just very, very... Just make contact with it and then pull back and kind of go back into the house. She's not made of lava. Well, she has not had the greatest experience with dragons. And she's sort of had vicious nightmares about them her entire life. Awesome. Okay, well, we have a dragon now, but there's no danger. Right? Do you... Now the Bree's gone. Jensa is going to talk to Una. Do you want to stay with the ravens? Una's going to take a deep breath and kind of just stare off into the distance.

And kind of shrug. Overwatch is probably defeated by now. Strahd is dead. There's not much threat facing the ravens anymore. I just don't want to stay in Esterhold. Otherwise, I don't really care. So Judzia is going to say, "Well, Amara here comes from Brightport, where Valus's mom owns house Dragonkeep." They keep dragons, as you can see here. "I think Valus's mother, Tessia, would take us in if we needed a place to stay." And also they have a really cool library and I want it. So how much... It's been so long, I can't remember. How much does Una know about Judzia's anxieties about the afterlife?

Because I feel like she kind of has an idea that Judzia is really nervous about dying. Possibly because of demonic shit. I don't know about the demonic shit, but you'd know that she's absolutely apprehensive about dying. That's her chief concern. You can see that in every combat you get into. Yeah, yeah. Literally, she's like, "Hey guys, I'm going to run if that guy becomes a werewolf again." Just so y'all know. Una will just nod gently. And she'll just say, "I'm sure there's something that you need to take care of." And I'd be happy to help with that. Judzia's going to kind of smile and she'll say, "Then we'll head to Brightport then." "And when we get there, I'll tell you a story." She wants to tell Una now, but not right now.

Is there anything we need to finish up here first? Una's going to shake her head like, "No." She just wants to get out of here. And now, because I'm sure that Bree is inside, because Judzia's going to again put her hand on Una's shoulder. She keeps doing that because she just wants the connection. Like, "You are physical. You are here. Good." Is Bree going to come with us? Because she can sense shit. It's not really... I don't think I have full perception for that. I'm pretty sure she knows that you're mad at her. Una's going to just kind of stare harder into the distance.

I'm not sure if that's possible, but she'll look a little angrier. Like more of a shadow of her old self. And just kind of shrug really angrily. I don't know. There's obviously something wrong. She doesn't look good. I'm worried. But I haven't. And I'm not sure when I can or if I can forgive her. She should have left me dead. She said the same to you. Oh. Capp, Fia's here. Fia just like pops out of a bush. With you one-liner and back. Una will kind of like grimace. Fia, I think you're the only person who's been happily resurrected. That may be the case. But since my resurrection, I have made just as many good memories, if not more.

Resurrection doesn't... Resurrection shouldn't mean that you are coming back into a life of misery or pain. I mean, when I was resurrected, we were still in the Overwatch. I mean, I can't say that that was a good place for me. But for me, things have only improved. What's to say that where you were, where Bree was, was your low point? I mean, you... I mean, no offense by this, but to me, you had all of your... delusions about your God and what you thought was going to happen. And you are saddened by the fact that what you believed is not true. You are a strong person.

You are stronger than me when it comes to it. But you can and you will be able to pick yourself up. You will be able to improve yourself and you will be able to get to a much better place than where you were. You have so much more knowledge from that one single experience than you may have from the whole of your life previous. The same goes with Bree. I mean, from what I understand, she's not having her nightmares anymore. Surely that is infinitely better. One single experience has and can improve someone's life. Yes, it's not what you expect at the time, but... just because it doesn't look good on the outside, it may be the kick that you need to set your life straight and put you on a better path.

Una is going to smile, still kind of staring off into nothing. It's a very hollow smile. It's one of those things where people are really fucking sad, but they're smiling for appearances. And she'll just kind of look down at Fi or up at Fi. How tall is Fi? That doesn't matter. She'll look at Fi and she's just going to say, "Look, Fi, I appreciate the pep talk, but the high point of my life was leaping off of a tower into the sky and smashing the eye out of a legendary dragon. For my god. And assuming that I was going to go to heaven, shake him by the hand and warmly embrace all of my ancestors whom I desperately miss.

Everything in comparison to that feels a little muted. I'm sure it will get better, but right now, it feels excruciating." Jodzia's going to shift from one light to another. She feels super awkward. She doesn't really know what to say. She's never really been religious, but she's going to say, "Maybe a mortal mind can't remember gods. Maybe it was wiped from you. You know I've never truly been religious. My father was the one who told me to believe in Kord, and as far as I know, I'm not the best follower anyway. But if it's the one thing that you truly cared about, maybe it's worth it to, in the back of your mind, hold some hope that this wasn't the end for you." This is the end of Kord for everyone.

And Una's going to get a weird look on her face and remove her hand from the dragon and just turn and stride away. Capes wish. Walk away. Everyone roll a perception check please. Okay. Thirteen. Everyone, everyone? Uh, please yes. Everyone roll. That is my fourth crit miss. Thank god we are not fighting. If we were fighting right now, I'd be super dead. Does Jadzia have blinders on or something? Usually I could be like, "Oh, she was reading a book. That's funny. That doesn't make sense for these." She's got her eyes closed. Oh, I got an eyelash. Fuck. Also, I'm wearing headphones because of reasons.

Also, I invented headphones. Una and Kaluna. They're going to hear some aggressive speaking in the living Eulerian. And what it sounds like is Breanna arguing with someone. She's crazy. She's insane. Una's going to recognize the voice as Julie's from the temple. And what it sounds like from their perspective is... They're arguing about Una's resurrection. And Julie wants to speak with Una and it sounds like Bree's trying to usher her out of the house as quickly as possible. Okay. Hearing this on her way back to the house, I guess from the dragon... Can I kick open the door?

Does that require some sort of check? Well, the door wasn't shut, but if you're talking about the kitchen door into the living room, there's a swinging door. Not gonna have any doors left. Not necessarily off its hinges, but just... You just want to make an entrance. Just make a fucking entrance. Una's going to kick this door open and it's going to make an ungodly sound. It's going to startle everybody in the room. They're going to jerk. And Una's going to come stomping into the living room area here. Well, Judsy will just come in and be like, "Oh, why did we do that?

That was stupid." She'll pointedly check her door that this is her house and she's checking to make sure you didn't break it. She's going to side-eye Una like, "Fucking, come on." Una will quietly... Una's just going to stride into the room, just like... Not saying anything, just looking at Julie and Bree. Kalluna will quietly just follow everyone else in and bring the tea. That tea's going on the floor. That tea's going to see some shit. Julie is going to immediately lock eyes with Una as she walks into the room. And she's going to noticeably straighten up a bit.

She looked a little standoffish with Bree and she's going to... You can tell that she's completely switching tact as Una walks into the room. She's going to straighten up. Behind her are six paladins that are... They haven't entered the house yet. Julie is the only one who's crossed the threshold of the house. She is arguing with Bree in the living room. But she's going to cut that out immediately when Una enters the room. And she is going to sort of assess Una. And after a few seconds she's going to say, "Can we talk for a minute?" I can't possibly imagine what we would have to talk about.

But yes. I can imagine that you have a lot to adjust to. From what I understand being brought back is... Definitely not something to be trifled with and can be considered quite traumatic. So I'm going to forgive your actions at the temple. And I would invite you and your party, if they would like to join you, to come back with me. And we can start to set things right. Don't patronize me. I learned on the other side that everything I have worked for my entire life is a lie. If anything, you lied to me. You have probably been operating under the same delusion that I was.

I don't want to go back to that temple. I don't want to think about Kord. That's over. That's done with. I'll pay you for the damages, if that's what you're seeking. But I'm not going back there. This isn't about money, Una. We're about to take a quick break and several of our best men. We're taking a major blow here. On top of that, we can't very well have the fist of Kord telling everyone that there is no Kord. You can understand what kind of position that puts me in. Una's going to take a few steps up to Julie, just frosty calm. And not like get in her face, but like just stand there a little too close for it to be like comfortable, like comfortable conversation distance.

There is no Kord. Julie is going to step even closer to Una. Now, Julie is considerably shorter than Una by a few inches. And she's going to lower her voice. It's almost unsettlingly calm. You know, Craig saw something in you that I have never seen. And now that he's gone, there is absolutely no reason for me to sugarcoat this. Maybe you didn't see Kord on the other side because you didn't deserve to see Kord on the other side. Una is going to like just give the tiniest, tiniest hint of a smile. Because I didn't see Kord because there is no Kord. And if I didn't deserve to see him, then someone like you never will leave.

Now, I was really hoping that we could talk about this. But I could see you're going to be just as pigheaded and stubborn as you are about everything. I would hope that you would at least have the decency to not sully that weapon and relinquish it so that we can take it back to the temple. Fuck you. First of all, no. Do you have any dragons I've been through to keep this? Two. That's a lot more than you have, bitch. I don't know why I vaguely sound like Robin Williams there. Oh! Una has the hammer just strapped to her back like she normally does. With her dress?

Yeah, I mean, she's carrying it. She's not going to have it just sitting with her armor. That thing is on her at all times. Oh man, there's something I want to say. Una's going to get even closer, so she's almost nose to nose with Julie. And kind of lean over her a little bit so it's kind of like, "You want to go, bitch? You want to go?" A little like that. But still icy calm. Something I've realized since coming back, and slowly a tiny little smile is going to grow on her face, is that all my power, all my strength, the way I can heal people, the way I can summon lightning and sparks and thunder, that's all me, bitch.

That's all me. You guys took in an eight-year-old girl who you saw an inkling of power in. And yeah, you trained me. But that was my power. I had it from day one. Kord didn't decide to give that to me. That was mine. I've had it all along. Storms have been a part of my life since the day I was born. I should have realized that long ago. This isn't Kord's fury on my back. This is my fury. Don't you try and take it from me. Julie is going to...she's got her hands at her side, and she's going to very slowly grip the handle of her longsword. One way or another, we're leaving here with that hammer.

If you want us to embarrass you in front of your party, we'll do that. Don't let your foolish pride interfere with what's right. It doesn't belong to you anymore. Now hand it over. Whew! Let's do this! Okay, I'm trying to avoid a conflict here, because I really don't want to leave the temple of Kord completely decimated. But, um...fuck shit, okay. Um...Uuna will at this point, like, um... ...starting to definitely look like her old self. And she's going to take a tiny step back from Julie and just kind of run her eyes, you know, over the six paladins who are waiting outside.

Whew, okay. I was going to say something relating to Fi and his weapon of Kord, but I can't remember what it is now. Oh shit, did Julie just forget that Fi also has one? She's a little focused on Una right now. Don't think that that hasn't been completely forgotten. That'll come up, but right now it's more the principle of the thing. You know, Una just smashed a shitload of their temple, Bre threatened her life to bring Una back, and now Una, the fucking fist of Kord, is telling everybody, "Yeah, that's all bullshit, everyone. That's not acceptable." Oh, I remember now.

Um, yeah, uh, yeah, so, okay, Fi's going to step up behind Una and say, "Una has earned the right to her weapon through her axe, whether they've been in the name of Kord or not, just as much as I have earned the right to my weapon." Julie isn't going to break eye contact with Una, but she is going to say, "Kreg let you hold that weapon. Don't think for a second that you've actually earned it. There are people who would give their lives and a lifetime of dedication to Kord to even touch that weapon you're holding." To be honest, the fact that he let you even touch it, spits in the face of everything we worship.

Everything you worship is a lie. Una has proved that. Una is going to pop her power where she can fly and use sparks and levitate and shit like that. So she's going to swing the hammer off of her back and hold it in one hand, yeah, start placing tiles, and rise up off the ground, sparks thunder. Her eyes are going to glaze over completely white, hair blowing all over the place, black dress billowing everywhere. Somewhat like an angel of death. "I gave my life in dedication to Kord. I've been down that path and guess what? It led fucking nowhere. Listen here paladins, your church saw me powerful, brave, and strong enough to name me the fist of your god.

Leave now or you're going to have to face me as my own fucking fist." And I'm going to roll an intimidate check and hope to god my dress doesn't blow up and everyone, I don't know, sees your panties. Can I get a plus for using my little power? I'm going to say, is that the encounter power? Yeah, we established a precedent for this last time. We did, there was extenuating circumstances, but yeah, we did. I'm going to give you the plus two, go ahead. Thank you. Okay. I guess just add a plus two to this. 20. Fuck, crit miss. Oh, come on. Can we just cut that please?

No, I know, I know. Fuck. I once gave a really badass speech and rolled a one or something. I'm so angry. I'm so angry. She's actually, her eyes are actually glowing over in real life now. Sparks. I'm so upset. I'm just, can we just fuck this session? Let's, let's leave. Do me a favor. That was all plummeting to that fucking crit miss. Are you shitting me? Okay guys, try and knock them out. Don't kill them. Okay. Except I won't. For the record, that's what they're trying to do with you as well. Oh, that's nice of them. They're not trying to kill you. They're just trying to take back their possessions.

For the record, if all of you guys pass out and Jodzia is still standing, she's not going to fight for your weapons anymore. Um, the second key. 28. Gotcha. Alright, we're rolling initiative. Yeah. I'm not having fun anymore. Is Bree in there? Fuck Bree. You may need Bree. I don't give a shit. I'm angry. Plus we all got the Freudian double entendre of that, of what you just said. We all know. You know, honey. We know you want to. So, Una is going to float above the ground, lightning sparks, and she's going to give that speech. And it would appear as though these paladins are standing their ground.

They're going to ready their shield. Ready their collective swords and hammers, axes. And, uh, sort of raise their shields. Like they're waiting for Una to do something violent, but they're not leaving. Julie is going to remain as calm as ever. Just watching Una fly into the air. And then after she's done, she's going to watch Una, you know, return to the ground. I don't return to the ground for a turn. Oh, okay. So you're just going to stand there for a turn. Okay, so that's extra awkward. Uncle fuck. I'm going to smash her head if she says anything. Okay. I thought you may react this way.

I've prepared everyone here for the inevitable. We knew you weren't going to relinquish the weapon peacefully. Sadly, you're going to make us do this through violence. And she's going to draw her longsword. Uh, Fi, your turn. Okay. Um, so Amber's trick will allow me to move there and give me combat advantage against her. Uh, back stab to give me a plus three and my melee basic attack. So I've got a plus five on that. That's a hit. All right. Okay. So sneak attack, 12, backstab, 8. Okay. Eight damage. And my standard attack, 20. Okay. And that's everything. All right.

Jadzia, your turn. I want Jadzia to fight because I want to help, but no one's officially thrown a punch yet from their side. So I'm going to hold action. Okay. Uh, Fi, your turn. Well. Uh, basically the same. So, uh, the, the, the, the, uh, Amber's trick for combat advantage, uh, backstab and melee basic. So plus five. Actually, that's a miss. Um, that's everything I can do. Okay. Paladin of Chord number three is going to, he's going to run, uh, at Fi, charge him and use something called shield slam. He's going to lower his shield, run at Fi and try and knock him back and prone.

Uh, Ooh, that is a hit. Uh, so that's 11 damage. Fi is going to be pushed back one square and knocked prone. Okay. Now I'll jump in. Okay. And let's see, Jadzia, blam, you're in. I felt like being a good person. Um, you know, waiting. I will use diabolic grasp on that guy, the number three, cause he's a douche. He hit Fi. So I'm going to do that. That is going to miss. Plus one for thinking speedy, even though it won't matter. Makes me feel better if I say it. Oh yeah, sure. Cool. Well, Oh, and I'm going to move three spaces concealed. Bam. Okay. Uh, paladin of Chord number five.

Who? Okay. Uh, he is going to sidle up next to Una and use, uh, he's going to use his long sword. Uh, and that is going to miss greatly. Hey, you're not wearing your armor and you wouldn't have any of your, your cool powers from your armor. Just to remind you, uh, Bree's turn. Ah, shit. I don't want her to fuck everything up here. Uh, Bree is going to, uh, step forward and she is going to try and punch, uh, the paladin, the paladin three here that is going to miss. Awesome. And that'll bring up Valis. Uh, Valis is going to step forward too and use the Kettenhund against, uh, paladin number five.

And that is going to hit damage 32 damage and it's going to yank the paladin across the room to Valis. I just need to use that much more often. It worked really well in the unicorn. I feel like you should use that weapon more often. Because it tends to kill. I mean, if it's something you're trying to kill, then yeah. Paladin Chord number one is going to attack Bree. That is going to hit damage, uh, well, four damage. That doesn't much at all. Crit mess, yay! Julie is going to clench her sword. Um, Julie doesn't, she isn't using, uh, she isn't using a shield, but she is armored to the hilt.

This is some gorgeous armor she's wearing. And she is going to raise her sword above her head, um, step forward one and with, with this blinding light, there is going to be lightning that encompasses her sword. And she is going to swing it down at, uh, at Una. And she is going to use thunderous smite. Uh, and that is going to crit one, holy shit. Um, she is going to pop an action point and try that again. That's going to hit. That is 38 damage and, uh, Una, your turn. Um, I will say the one big difference, uh, in her attack is that yours knocks someone prone, I believe, and there's some other, there's some other thing.

Hers is just a really big hit. Cool. Okay. I know you're still sore about that, that, that crit one. Um, I'm going to, I might as well use something that will actually hit. Um, so this is going to end Una's flying turn. So on her way down, um, she's going to use Marge's Retribution, uh, which is half damage. You're already assuming you're going to miss. I am. We don't know that. Okay, funny. You got to get your cameras ready because this could hit. You got to be positive. Yeah. Check at that, missed. Plus one for thinking speedy. Yes. That'll definitely hit. Half damage, that's 24 damage. 24 damage.

Action point. Uh, thunderous smite. Right back at you, bitch. Plus one for thinking speedy. Sure. It's AC, so it's not going to hit either. Does do half damage though. Aren't you in possession of a rabbit's foot? Not me. I gave you one. Really? Yeah. Before you went to fight Strahd. Yep. Why the fuck did I use that in the fight with Strahd? I asked the same thing. What does rabbit's foot do? Um, you get to roll a 1d6 and add that to, uh, to the, the attack value. Two. Hmm. Okay, that's still going to miss. Yeah. Okay, sorry to damage, sure. Okay. Okay, so that is, okay, that is 37 damage.

That is pretty impressive. Or 18 damage. So pretty impressive. That'll wrap up your turn? Yeah. Okay. Uh, so, paladin of cord number four going to use holy smite against Una. Uh, 27 will hit because she's not wearing her armor. Uh, so seven damage. Let's see here. Kaluna, your turn. Okay, I want to summon pig right on this side of Julie. Okay. And then I'm going to use, let me double check what this, okay. Oh, this probably won't hit, but let's try it anyway. Uh, stalker's strike. If, I think, no, okay. Anyway, roll. And that was useless. Okay. That was my turn. Okay.

Uh, paladin of cord number six, uh, going to swing his great sword at Una. Gonna, oh, that'll hit. Uh, 12 damage to Una that will bloody her. And two, that's, uh, two is going to go after Jadzia. I am concealed. Yes, but not invisible. Yes, but that, that helps me. That gives me like a, what, a plus two to everything. I don't remember. Yeah, he gets a negative two to a swing, I guess. Sweet. Uh, but that's almost a crit, so. Yeah, that's going to hit my AC. Yeah. Why do they always go after AC? That's not fair. Uh, 13 damage to Jadzia and top of the order again, Fi.

Thank you. So, yeah, Fi is just gonna, just gonna stand up. Um, and attack, uh, Judy with a melee basic attack. Okay. That's a miss. He's gonna miss. Anything else? Uh, I'm gonna put my Wild Repulsion, which is a minor, which gives me resist five on all damage. Okay. Uh, Fi, your turn. Thank you. Um, uh, buh buh buh buh buh buh. Tactical Trick will give me combat advantage. Um, melee basic. And that's a miss. Fucking hell, that's a crit one. Um, yep, that's everything. Okay, paladin accord number three is going to shift up one. Uh, and going to attack Fi with Holy Smite.

Ooh, that is gonna hit. Uh, 15 damage. Cool. Jadzia, your turn. Adjust the five. Um. Oh, yeah, thank you. I have a feeling this is gonna be one of those fights where if you don't use your dailies you're gonna regret it, so I'm gonna try, um, Iron Spike of Dis against the guy who hit me, 'cause fuck you. First I'm gonna curse him though, I keep freaking curse. You missed him. Do I get plus one for the game speedy? Um, well you thought about it speedy. I did? I thought about it really speedy. Did that help? That'll actually hit him. Oh, awesome. Okay, um, then you roll for damage and then also roll two d6's extra damage because he's cursed.

Cursed, okay. Uh, that's five extra damage. And I would like to shift back as well. Okay. Preferably away from the other guy who I know is directly behind me. Yep, done. So like diagonally. Thank you. Paladin accord number five, uh, is going to take a swing at Valis. Uh, that's gonna hit. Damage eight. Uh, Bree's turn. Ah, jeez. Uh, she's going to... God, she could kill these guys if she's not. Okay, she's gonna just force punch, uh, number one here. And, oh, Jesus. Okay, that's gonna miss. Uh, Valis' turn. Uh, Valis is gonna use Trail of Blood. So he is going to make a melee basic attack against...

Okay, that guy, that's gonna hit. Uh, that's gonna miss. That will kill him. Then he's going to shift, uh, up to three squares, make another melee basic attack against this guard. And that'll miss. So, okay. Paladin number one is going to swing at Bree. That's gonna hit. Uh, thirteen damage to Bree. Julie's turn. Uh, she's gonna use Holy Strike against Uuna. Uh, that's a thirty, so that'll hit. Uh, thirty-three damage to Uuna. And, uh, she is going to mark Uuna. Uh, Uuna, your turn. Okay, Lay on Hands. Yeah, fuck it, let's go Wind Fury. Um... What's this one? I don't remember using this one.

That's kinda cool. Okay, just kidding. Uh, Debilitating Smite. So it hits, uh, target stays and slowed until the end of... Um... That'll hit. That will hit. Shit. Okay, thirty-seven damage. Thirty-seven damage. Um... Not too much else I can do. I already used my action point. Um... Not really a point in marking her. But, um, I will do that. And if she chooses to attack, then, um, the days last until the end of her next turn. Um, not mine. Uh, what was the... Debilitating Smite. Okay. Okay, cool. Uh, Paladin Accord number four is going to... Gonna take a swing at Uuna.

Kind of a shocker. Uh, totally miss. Another shocker. Kaluna, your turn. Okay. I am going to use Raging Storm Spirit. Give me a minute to make this gigantic zone. One, two, three, four, five. Boom. Shit. So I just attack everyone just down the line, right? Yeah. We'll start with this guy. That's a hit. Number two. That's a hit on six. That's a hit on four. That is a miss on Julie. It would, wouldn't it? It is a hit on three. And a miss on one. Was that everyone? She hit everyone except one and Julie. Okay. And damage. I'll just roll it on one of them. That'll work. Nineteen damage.

And, effect. The burst creates a zone of thunder that lasts until the end of the turn. Any ally deals one D six extra thunder damage when he or she hits an enemy that is within the zone. Shit. Okay. Pretty baller. So this house is all about the thunder right now. Nineteen damage to everyone. Is there a miss half damage or anything? I don't think so. Okay. So that is going to kill number two. Pretty hard. Wait, I thought we were trying to knock him out. Well, I mean, yeah, knock him out. Sorry. My default is to say he's a hit. My default is to say they're dead, but yeah, sorry.

Knocked out. Palantecord number six is going to take a swing at Una. Probably miss. Oh shit. That'll hit. Okay. Eleven damage to Una. Top of the order. Fee. Okey dokey. Right. Okay. So. Tactical Trick will get me combat advantage against Julie. And then just Amela basic. That's a hit. Okay. So. That's a crit. Oh, is that a crit? Yep. Totally crit. Okay. So that's my sneak. Was it one day six thunder from kaluha's thing? Yeah. That's my one D six, which is a two. Okay. And my crit. Yeah. And my crit is that's 28. 28. What's, uh, what's your base weapon damage? Um, uh, D tens. Uh, roll three D 10 for your crit damage.

Uh, three. That should be D 10. 20. All right. Uh, Julie is bloodied. So you're going to absolutely slam her and she's going to, she's going to back up for just a moment. But that like that, that rocked her pretty hard. Uh, Fee your turn. Uh, okey dokey. So, uh, basically the same tactical trick got me advantage. Uh, and Amela basic. That's a hit. Um, uh, 14 for my sneak attack. Six for the thunder extra damage. And 23 for my meal. Basic palin accord. Number three is going to shift his focus away from Brie and start attacking fee. Uh, as it would appear as though he's a bigger threat and that's going to miss.

Jazzy your turn. Awesome. All right. Um, I am going to warlock curse number six, and then I'm going to go ahead and use hunger of Hadar. Um, arcane implement chronic zone. Boop ba doop ba doop. Oh wait, I created a zone with this? Ah, okay. Uh, the burst creates a zone of darkness until the end of the next turn. I never use this spell. Blocking line of sight. Maybe I shouldn't do this. One second. I am not going to get one for thinking speedy and it's probably going to miss anyway now. Okay. Area burst one. So if I burst it right here, I should only hit those two soldiers, right?

Yep. Cool. I'm going to hit those two soldiers. Um, burst creates a zone of darkness. Boop ba doop ba doop. Um, until the end of your next turn. Blocking line of sight. Creatures that enter start their turns in the zone. Take 2d10 necrotic damage. Um, the zone persists until the end of your next turn. Okay. And then I try to hit. So it does that automatically and then I try to hit people. I think. Hit? Yeah! And it'll hit six. And then I'll switch back to the little arrow. And then try to hit four. And that'll miss four. But I don't want it to. Uh, 20. Um, I'm going to go ahead and use dark one zone luck I think.

I can reroll a thing I dislike. Let's try again. That one was worse. And then it'll miss. But I do take the higher of the two. So the cannon one was still the 20 miss. Not the 17. Which is important. Okay, and then I do this. Boop. And then he also takes 3d6 now. Because first my dark one zone luck and then the thunder. So he's going to take another seven. Seven damage. Okay. And don't forget that they take 2d10 necrotic damage when they start their turn there. Okay. Uh, Bree's turn. She's got one more apple before she has to charge. Um, she's going to try and punch one again.

Thank you. That is a hit. Uh, let's see. 30 damage and he is going to get launched across the room and into this wall. So that's five. And that will end her turn. She will have to charge next turn. Uh, Valis is going to move over to six. And try and help Luna out a bit here. Um, and just swing his greatsword at this dude. That is going to hit. Okay, 21. That will knock him out. So six is out of the fight. Uh, let's see here. Palan1 is just going to sort of stand up and get his whereabouts again. That will end his turn. And Julie. Okay, this fight is not going the way Julie would hope that it would.

Um. Julie is going to use second wind. Uh, and she, this, uh, this is going to be, uh, that's an encounter power. So, uh, she's going to heal herself for 50 damage. And all of her attributes go up by two. And she is going to, she's going to raise her shield, but, uh, she is going to lower her weapon a bit while still looking at Luna. Sort of giving the impression, it's like, okay, we should maybe stop this. Not saying anything, but, but just sort of indicating it. Uh, and it is Una's turn. Well, I'm not going to hit her if she's all plussed out, so I might as well try to intimidate.

Um. Okay. Uh, do I, I don't have to roll perception to see if I can see that she got bloodied, right? That's just something I know. No, no, that's just something you're, you're in combat. You can see it. You're standing right next to her. Okay. Um, Luna's just going to like kind of loom, um, over her, not the weaving implement, like looming, being scary. Um, and... I'm just going to weave. Looms are scary. Do you know how much training you need to operate a loom? Dude, those things can fuck you up if you don't know you're doing it. They really can. Yeah. Like people lost like hands to that shit.

Um, but yeah, it was going to kind of like loom over her and just say you're bleeding and you're cowering. Fucking leave, coward. And, uh, roll an intimidate. And then she's going to spit. 20. Plus one for thinking speedy. Um, totally get the plus one. Ah. Calling her a coward seems to almost stoke a fire. [Laughing] Um, I was about to say this is the opposite effect of intimidating her. It seems to bolster her. Is there anything else you'd like to do on her turn or your turn? Um, well, that's my standard, right? Yeah. So yeah, not much else I can do. Okay. Palant cord number four.

One second. Land hands is a minor, right? Yes. Yeah, I'll pop my second land hand. Okay. Nine damage. Nine damage to palant cord number four. And his line of sight is blocked. Um, so yeah, he is just encased in darkness. He can still move though, correct? I believe so, yes. Okay. Palant cord number four is going to move out of this darkness, but in doing so he had to shuffle right past both Valus and Una to get there. So he's kind of stumbling out of this cloud. He's like, "Oh, that's better." But he had to stumble past these two fucking brutes to get to that spot.

So he has no idea that he's about to get probably fucked up. So, um, Una, go ahead and make an opportunity attack and Valus is going to do the same. Okay, so Valus is going to miss. Uh, but Una crits. Well, hell yeah. That's some fun. How much damage is that? Oh, just for melee basis, I think. That's only like 25 damage. Um, but I also get- Sorry, Jesus. Do I get crit damage? Yeah. Because it's crit. Okay. Well, with my crit do I- What is your base damage for your weapon? 12, I think. Nope. D10. Uh, so 3d10. Okay. So this guy's going to stumble out of the darkness here.

Uh, Valus is going to swing high with his sword and just miss this guy. Uh, Una is not and he is going to get clobbered in the back of the head with Una's hammer. Luckily he's wearing a helmet and it just knocked him out instead of caving his fucking skull in, but yeah, he is out of the fight. Uh, Kolona, your turn. Okay. To clarify, we're still murdering them. Non-lethally murdering them. Non-lethally murdering them. Okay. So I'm going to shift pig here and then I'm going to use Call to the Blood Dancers on Julie. Yay! Okay. So after I roll this damage, after I roll this damage table, So until the end of my next turn, any ally can score a critical hit on a roll of 18 to 20 while adjacent to pig.

And also until the end of my next turn, any ally gains a bonus to damage rolls equal to my intelligence modifier, which is three, while adjacent to my spirit companion. And that's my turn. All right. All right. Fi, your turn. Oh shit, you know what? I forgot to do the 1d6 thunder damage. Oh, okay. All right. So an extra five damage to Julie and go ahead, Fi. Okay, Ricky. Um, tactical trick will give me advantage against, uh, Julie and then middle basic attack. That's a hit. So sneak 14. Oops. Base damage 16 and thunder is six. All right. Fi, your turn. Uh, exactly the same thing.

So tactical trick, middle basic. That's a miss. 23. Would 24 have hit? No. No, fair enough. Uh, yep. Palant core number three is going to swing his great sword at Fi. That is going to hit. Uh, 11 damage to Fi. Jazzy, your turn. All right. Um, first I shall move. One, two, three, four, five, and six. Bam. I'm going to curse Julie, even though I don't, I don't mind Julie at all. And I think we're riding down, so I'm just going to use Eldritch Blast. Why not? Boop. That's why not. I didn't waste a spell. That's my plan the whole time. I knew I was going to miss. And I'm done, but I'm concealed.

Uh, Bree's going to charge. That is a nine. Valus is going to shift forward one and use, you know what, fuck it. He's going to use a daily. He's going to use From Hell's Hearts against Julie. That is going to hit 33 damage to Julie. Plus, oh God, math. Uh, three, three, and another number. Um, oh no, it's just six. I think it stacks. Just throw it in, because I haven't been using mine, and I think, uh, Fi forgot his. So all that damage that we've been doing. Oh shit, the thunder damage. Yeah, the thunder damage. Because, okay, I have two Stalker Spirit things.

One is attached to a power and one is just, it is. Um, and they both just add Intelligence modifier to damage. Okay. This will be enough to knock Julie out. Yay. So, these paladin are going to stop. These paladins are going to stop fighting. The last two remaining conscious are going to stop fighting the second they see Julie go down. It is up to you whether you want to keep the fight going. It would be Una's turn. Um, yeah, okay. Una's just going to hold up her hand at the other paladin. She's just like, "Okay, fucking stop. Don't move." And she's just going to stare down at Julie's body.

And then just kind of spit on her. Um, and now I'm going to take her weapon and inspect that. Um, this is... If I may. You sure can. This obviously isn't a legendary weapon, but it is very finely crafted. You could see that she would take great pride in her weapon. It's quite a large sword actually for someone her size, but she either has quite a bit of strength or skill or both to be able to use it as well and as efficiently as she does. She obviously has a hell of a lot of combat training for being a cleric. That would probably fetch a pretty decent price if you were to sell it.

Oh no, I don't want to sell it, no. Okay, I'm just...yeah. Una's going to take out the little knife that she keeps on her person at all times. And she's going to scratch her name into the paladin's sword. You're such a cunt! It's beautiful. And then she's going to roll Julie's body over and do the same to the breastplate of her armor. And then just look it over at the paladin's and say, "You can take her and feel free to leave." These two guys are going to eyeball each other just for a minute. You can see that they're sort of asking each other with their eyes like, "Okay, do you want to keep this going?

Because this does not look good." And without a word, they're going to grab Julie by the feet and then support her by the shoulders and then take her out. They had to come back for their brethren? They are, but one at a time. So it takes a bit, but they make several trips in and out to pick up the other four paladins that were knocked unconscious. But they will leave after that. They're not going to continue this fight at all. You have probably made an enemy for life, you realize that, right? Yeah. I'm not expecting to go back to the Temple of Qord at any time soon.

Okay. Is there anything the party would like to talk about here before we wind things down for the day? Can Kaluna check on Bree? Because she meant... Oh, fucking pronouns. They meant to do that whenever they brought in the tea, but they couldn't because there was an argument happening. This tea is getting cold. I mean, Kaluna already drank their cup, so... Yeah, go ahead and run... You know what? Go ahead and run a heal check on Bree. 32. I don't know why it went twice, but 32. The table's acting wonky already. Kaluna can pick up that Bree did some hefty internal damage to herself.

So much so that she may have greatly shortened her own lifespan. The human body was not meant to do whatever she was doing, fighting Strahd, it was not meant to do that. And she is not well. Is there anything Kaluna could do that would help in some way? Not just like, "Oh, you look like you're in pain, let me fix that," but like... anything. Picture it like a rechargeable battery. You can recharge it over and over again, but eventually it's going to wear out. And that's sort of what she's done to her own body. It's wearing out. You don't really get a sense of how much damage she's done to herself, but it's definitely consequential.

It's definitely... you can see visibly she's not doing great. Is this a thing where Kaluna's standing next to her? Just kind of... Um... probably. Just sort of giving that look like, "Dude, what the fuck did you do?" She's... she was just charging, so after that she's just gonna kind of pat Kaluna's arm just like, "I'm fine, I'm fine." But definitely in a shooing away motion. Like, "I'm fine, don't..." Kaluna's gonna go and grab one of the probably cold cups of tea and bring it back to Bree. And give her just a very... one of those, like, mother-ish looks where it's like, "You fucking idiot.

What are you doing?" She's... after a second she's just gonna, like... She can see that it means something that she's gonna take the cup of tea, but... Yeah, she's not a huge tea person, but she's gonna take it from Kaluna and just like trying to be polite. Bree's gonna announce to the group after a minute, "Do any of you have any interest in..." "Have any of you ever wanted to go back to the city? Overwatch? I mean, I really don't know what's going on there and it's driving me insane. I need to see what's happening. I've obviously been busy here, but I don't think there's anything keeping me in this city.

If you guys think you need me, then I would be happy to stay, but I need to check on Liara, I need to check on the ravens, I need to see if they're okay." Jadzia's going to think on it for a moment, like... And then say, "I have always wanted to go back and look through my father's belongings, but I'm going to assume they were burned." He's gonna look at Bree and say, "I don't think there's anything left for me back there, but I have no issues with going if other people wish to go there." Bree's gonna... It's the elephant in the room, but eventually she's gonna look over to Una.

Why is it the elephant in the room? Well, because she knows that Una is pissed. It's not a secret. Una's not really one to make it a secret if she's pissed at somebody. And she's in a very roundabout way asking, "Would you go back with me if I leave, or am I just leaving without you?" The only thing more annoying than mushy shit like that is indirectly saying mushy shit like that. It's kind of her style. Disgusting. Una's gonna wipe the blood on the hammer off on her dress and just leave the room to go get her armor on her way out. She'll say, "Yeah, fuck it." So I assume we're stopping at Overwatch then.

I guess you guys are going back to the city, so... Are we traveling by dragon to somewhere closer? I would assume we wouldn't just leave the dragon here. If you have a dragon, you might as well use the dragon. You don't have horses anymore. We can't get there in like 15 minutes with the dragon. Oh, freckles, no! It'll be in good hands. It's a house dragon keep, but yeah. So I guess that's a pretty good time for us to stop for the night, guys. So, Overwatch, guys. Why does this feel so somber? Why the hell does it feel like someone died? No one died. Everyone died.

Kord kind of died. (laughs)