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[clattering] [clattering] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+.

This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] Did... With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Episode one of arc two of the DNR podcast is brought to you today by the lovely people over at patreon.com/dandr. They allow us to do what we do every single day and bring this show to you guys.

So thank you so much to everyone out there that supports us. If you stick around to the end of the show you can hear a clip of some stuff that we have over on our Patreon. You can hear each and every month that we produce just for you guys. So thank you so much and we hope you enjoyed today's episode. Many things have changed since the opening of the seal and the great column illuminated the night sky above the continent of Kion. The light was seen far and wide as even people from different continents took notice. Some saw it as a natural wonder. A beautiful light show that happened to be taking place far to the north.

Others saw it as a sign. A signal that they weren't alone and something larger was watching them. It simply couldn't be a coincidence, at least to many, that the pillar of light appeared on the same night as the blood moon. The time, every few decades, when the moon turned an eerie crimson. Word spread after the incident as it reignited a long dormant faith in many people. The adventurers who had been on Kion at the time returned home to the continent of Alara. They told tales of what they had seen and the things they had encountered. Of course, that wasn't the only thing of note going on at the time.

The dragon that had been spotted several times in the sky and finally attacked a major city in the northwest had taken a seemingly permanent residence within the southern city of Odysseia. Once the beautiful home to the Eladrin, it was now no more than a husk. An empty reminder of their once great society that had been hollowed out for over a century. The elves of Alara started calling the dragon Ruthimar, which loosely translates to Black Wrath. No one knows what this dragon wants in the area or why exactly it chose to make its new home so far south.

Many have tried to investigate the city and find out more. Researchers have paid high amounts in coin to find out anything new about the new dragon after the attack on Winterhaven. Sadly, no one ever returned. All was not so bleak though, as Alara, now no longer suffering from a wartime economy, was able to thrive on the commerce side. Many new shops have opened in cities all over the continent as goods and services returned to places where they were previously unavailable. Logging and hunting camps started to spring up as well, and many fresh faces took to the road for both profit and adventure.

The massive clan known as the Brugal, the name that the Orcs of Alara united under, split into two factions. Unsatisfied with the lack of progress and growth shown under the current leader, Kraug, one of his generals, Gorcad, took a small band from their camp south of the Stone Sunder Mountains and headed west. This, of course, was seen as the most disrespectful thing an orc of one clan could do to another, and a grudge is still being held to this day. Gorcad led this new clan, known now as the Mozog, toward the major city of Winterhaven. After speaking with a group of diplomats from the large nearby city, it was decided that the new band of orcs would settle in a clearing just east of the Evergreen, the largest forest in all of Alara.

This also situated the new orcs smack dab in the middle of Winterhaven and Overdale. As one might imagine, this caused many problems. Travelers on the main road were understandably wary, as orcs were known for their violent streaks and have attacked caravans and wagons many times in ambushes in the past. The orcs also started spreading out in the area almost immediately, which meant cutting into the forest nearby and disturbing the elves who lived within. The elves had lost large portions of their home in recent years and were more than unhappy with these new settlers, and that they showed no respect to the area.

Brittana Moonshadow, the high matron to the elves in the region, decided to strike back after failed attempts at diplomacy. Orcish is a difficult language to speak, and very few in the area were fluent. As a result, communications broke down quickly, and the orcs only saw outsiders encroaching on their lands. The two main cities never stopped trying to broker a peace, though, constantly trying to placate their new neighbors at every turn to avoid violence. Both Winterhaven and Overdale have sent representatives to communicate with the new clan and try to work out new boundaries.

Time moved forward, and people adjusted to things as best they could. Two years and three months have gone by, and while a new year in Theria has just begun, it could hardly be called a fresh start for many. Progress had finally been made with the orcs, as both major cities started to reach an understanding with the Mozog. They also worked closely with Brittana and the elves in order to reach a peace. She agreed to give Winterhaven a bit more time to speak with the orcs, and in the meantime, there would be no further violence on her part. Things were falling into place until the day a Mozog hunting party disappeared while gathering food.

The Mozog became enraged, with nowhere to properly focus their anger. Almost all communication broke down as a result. The party's disappearance was eventually traced back to a group of slavers known as the New Vol. Winterhaven agreed to investigate and send a group out to try and find the missing orcs and return them home. This would hopefully calm the orcs down so that negotiations could begin again. And that is the group we find ourselves following today. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves! I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table starting with Kelsey.

Hey, I'm Kelsey, and I play Aster Feynriel, the Elven Archer. And Xavier. Hi, I'm Xavier, and I will be playing Donovan Weiss, the human fighter. And Michael. Hey, I'm Michael, and I play Amvin Yamil, the Storm Mage. And Susan. Hey, I'm Susan, I'll be playing Madeline Riawen, the human cleric. And Robert. Hey, I'm Rob, I'll be playing Ubo, the half-orc druid of the mountain. And last and certainly not least, James. Hey, it's James, I'll be playing Eznomosocca, the half-elf rogue. So, quick breakdown. It is the first of yesterdays. Now, that is, essentially, there is first of the year.

This is New Years. It's also the first day of spring. Now, you guys have just set off from Durn Hollow. You started in Winterhaven, which is far to the north. And you've been on the road about eight and a half days. And it's actually really warm for this time of year. It's about 97 degrees Fahrenheit, or 36.1 degrees Celsius for our Canadian friends. Thank you. No problem. That's okay. Did you look that up beforehand? I absolutely did. I can't do that conversion in my head. I'm a dumb American. No, no, that's fine. In metric, there's a majority of Canadians on this team.

That's true. So, how about we go around here and kind of get to know the party? Because, again, I imagine it's just, it's warm. You guys have been trudging now for a few hours today. Just heading south, and how about we just go around and kind of give a breakdown of who you are and what you're about. Sounds good to me. Yeah. We'll start with James. Oh, okay. Esnoh, Hathal, physically, about 510, 175, brown hair, pretty fair complexion, blue eyes, pierced ears, some scars here and there, and basically he's here because his good buddy, Donovan, persuaded him that maybe it's time to help somebody out.

Speaking of which, let's hear about Donovan Xavier. Yes. Donovan's a real tall, real burly kind of guy, wrestler type, although with a bit of a gut. He's 6'5", 270 pounds, good looks, even he's got a broken nose, and yeah, he does have the Pidgeotto haircut type, but there's no fancy hair clippers, so it's a little more rough around the edges. He's basically armed to the teeth. He's got pretty well-worn armor, and it's not very clean or anything, but he's got pristine white gloves and a Therian postal services badge on his belt. And yeah, he basically came by because he needed the money, but also, as he told Masocha, never underestimate the value of having someone owe you their lives.

Wink. And Michael? Well, I think many people know much about Anvin, but he's been around for a while. Still loves to write in his book. Still trying to publish that and get that completed. He's here when trying to do good for Winterhaven, promote himself and Uminiro, and then he ran into his old friend, Mattie, and decided to help take in on this mission for both Winterhaven and for Mattie. And for those who might be new, what has Anvin been writing about? He is writing about the nature of magic and how it is related to your bonds with other people, for example.

How you could possibly, your connection with another person, make you stronger or weaker? Or if there is a stronger tie between you and the gods? And basically, how does magic change based on your bonds with people in the world? And you mentioned Mattie. Susan, what's Mattie about? Mattie, she is a human cleric of a monitor. She's 5'9". She's lean with muscles and she has like a longer face with a strong jaw. She has long, strawberry blonde hair, but she usually braids it or wears it up. She also has a broken nose, so it's a little crooked. She is on this mission because she's a cleric of a monitor.

She believes in hope. She believes in helping out. She's currently on a pilgrimage and she wants to help out the world in any way she can because a monitor is all about spreading that light. You heard the good word. Yeah. Kelsey, tell us about Aster. Aster is an elf from the Evergreen and they're kind of here to see how this whole "play nice with the orcs" thing is going for Winterhaven. They're kind of curious about this whole idea. And so they're a tall elf and they have long dark hair that they wear in kind of one long braid that goes down your back.

And they have a lot of like scars and muscle and they also have heterochromia. One eye is blue and one eye is amber. And they have a bow. For some reason, I thought you meant a bow in their eye. And I was like, well, that sounds uncomfortable. No. I have a bow and arrow. I use arrows to shoot people in the face. And that's what I do best. So this... Oh, go ahead. I forgot one thing. I'm so sorry. She's also interested in this mission because of her friend Ubo, who she travels with and has traveled with for the last five months. That's kind of what I was segueing into.

Rob, you want to tell us about Ubo and why this mission might be somewhat important to him? Yeah. Ubo is a half-orc druid. He's, I guess, slightly above average height for half-orcs and just muscled out the ying yang. He wears leather armor that's like kind of a latticework of leather and between the lattices of leather straps, he's constantly like tucking interesting rocks and stuff. Like sharp stones or smooth ones or just anything kind of anomalous. As a druid of a mountain, he's really into rocks. His skin's kind of like on the green side of olive and he has bright blonde hair that he keeps in kind of like a forward swept Macklemore kind of thing going on.

And he has just like sky blue eyes. And he is on this mission because as a half-orc, he has a lot of orcish pride and he wants to free orcish slaves specifically and learn about the world while he's doing it. Which, again, brings up why you guys have sort of formed as a party. And again, been on the road for days, about eight and a half. And in that time, I would imagine you've gotten to know each other somewhat well. It's a pretty new party, from what I understand. You guys formed about a week before leaving Winterhaven and then you took the job and you decided this is going to be our entry level gig.

We're going to do it. This is how we get started. And you headed out, if I'm understanding correctly. That sounds about right. All right. So you were offered 150 gold to head south and just below Durnhollow, Pyre Forest. Below that, there's an intersection of rivers and that is pretty much where it's suspected the new Val are set up. Now, the new Val are a ring of slavers. Predominantly, they're set up on the east coast in a forest called Bandit's Rest. It's a pretty extensive, like, maze-like forest and it's just full of thieves and bandits and terrible people.

Slavers being key in them. So what they do is they snatch up people on the road, specifically muscular workers. Someone they can use as workers. Orcs pretty much are only grabbed to use to fight. There's underground fighting rings where they pit orcs against each other like dogfights, essentially. But they'll grab up moles, they'll grab up anybody who's got a nice strong back and they either sell them off or use them for their own gain. Now, you guys have been tasked because there's a bit of a problem on the west coast right now, because there's a new clan of orcs that have set up next to the Evergreen south of Winterhaven.

This has caused a lot of friction. Everybody in the area is essentially trying to placate these orcs, get them to calm down. And when a band of their hunters went missing, obviously they got very upset. And being as how most people just don't speak orcish because it's a really difficult language to learn, the best thing they figured was, "Okay, we'll send somebody out, we'll tell them we're sending people out to try and find these orcs." But it's been weeks at this point, and most people figure they're dead. The orcs, on the other hand, are very sure that they're alive.

So, essentially everybody's waiting on you guys just to see what you can find out. Winterhaven and Overdale, the cities north and south respectively of this new clan of orcs, is trying to figure out a different solution. Something they could do to kind of smooth everything over and kind of get them to calm down a bit. So, let's pick up. You're a few hours into the day, so this is like 11am, something like that. And you're pretty much, I'd say you are about five miles or so south of Durran Hollow. So, is there anything you guys would like to do while you're on the road before I throw something at you?

Or something you'd like to talk about? -Are we walking or are we riding? -Walking. Yeah, that's where you're at. Because you guys are just kind of, with the exception of Ambon, you guys are getting kind of started. And, you know, horses are kind of pricey. They can be. And what's the environment like where we're at? Again, it's warm for the first day of spring, but it's not inhospitable. It's grassy fields, you guys are on the main road, there's nothing really in your way. No precipitation, nothing like that. It's a clear, gorgeous, sunny day. If anything, it's too sunny.

It's just a bit bright. Sunglasses would be great. If someone could invent those in this world, that'd be awesome. But wide-rimmed hats will also do. I think the sun's pretty awesome. I don't know what you're talking about. Would that be a thing where Maddie would be like, "Man, Ammon, the tour is really smiling on us today." -Is she like, "Oh my god, okay." -Yes. Like, definitely. But only if someone's like, "Man, this sun." And I'm like, "Yeah, right? It's awesome." [laughter] See, we all need a pep talk. That's why Maddie's here. [laughter] How do you guys think you feel after about eight and a half days?

You're resting each night, you're stopping in major towns. The only places you've been able to stop since you started this journey are Aubrey and then Dernhollow. Aubrey being a nicer town than Dernhollow, it has more accommodations for travelers. Dernhollow is more of a touristy town at this point. A few of their biggest things is Brothel, there's a little gambling house. There's inns and stuff, but it's still a smaller town. I think I like Dernhollow better. [laughter] I'd only say that Ammon would probably be like, he'd probably want to pull out his book and start writing, but this like, balking and stuff isn't helping.

And so then he'll put his sewn bookmark back in and every so often try to open it up and try again, but it just doesn't work. And so he's about to just give up. Because he misses the carriage ride where he could write and still make it to places. Right. [laughter] Ubo is probably more comfortable out of towns than in them. So he's, you know, being on the road is like in his element as a druid. He is glad to just be away from all those icky towns and cities. If he sees Ammon fussing with that book, every once in a while he points to a word in the book because he's trying to learn to read in common, slowly but surely.

And he'll point to a word and he'll grunt at Ammon, and if Ammon doesn't answer quickly, he'll say, "Grub, what is that one?" "Abjuration." That's not even a word. [laughter] "Enchantment." And then he'll look over and then, like, slop. "Mm, short, good. You need to write more about blood and stab." "Perhaps. Maybe that'll be my second book." And he'll smile. I will mention, it has, um, it is great having Ubo on the team, I would imagine, as a presence on the road. It is, it can make things difficult in towns because the orcs, especially in this area, aren't looked at incredibly fondly in terms of being able to speak to them, reason with them, getting them not to murder you.

So there are people who would look at Ubo and be genuinely frightened. Even though Ubo has done nothing wrong, technically, and he's a half orc, people would look at him and maybe cross the street, something like that. And I want to say that I think Ammon probably, because you're huge, right, Ubo? He's only slightly above average height, but he is just, like, muscle. Yeah, yeah, so probably when you first were approaching, he was a little bit like, "Oh god, if I say no, you're probably going to rip my arms off." Because you're an orc, and the experience was tense the last time we met an orc, or orcs.

And so he's been slowly getting used to having you in the group and being comfortable with that. But you can tell he's a little bit, the smile is like, "Okay, everything's good." And it hasn't caused any tension. And Ammon is fine, too. You keep teaching words, you keep arms just fine. Mattie will look over. Thumbs up. Mattie will look over. You shouldn't say that. That's not something we say, okay? That's something we say. Yeah, Ubo, you do you. And he points, he points over, he goes, "He gets it." Well, you can do that with us, but I would suggest not doing it with people you don't know as well as us.

That all right? In months since we came together, I have learned, Ubo not talk in town. Ubo talk on road. And we'll work on it. We're getting you to the point where you could talk in town, but yes, for now, yes. You're doing really well. He just grunts and nods. Maybe we pick up a word book in town for Ubo. Would you like one, Ubo? Would you like your own book? One book, already too many book. All right, then we won't pick you up a book. I don't know, you could have him holler around a dictionary. Coming up the road, there's going to be another group of travelers coming the opposite direction.

They're heading north up towards Durnhollow, taking the main road just like you. Bunch of guys wearing leather armor. They look like they're outfitted, not merchants. They don't look like they're carrying a lot of stuff. They do, however, look like they've either seen some fighting recently, or maybe their gear is just that worn down that they're in dire need of some new stuff. But they're going to approach, and the guy leading the charge is going to look up ahead and hold his people, and then whisper something to the guy next to him and continue forward.

So they are coming up the road probably a good, you know, 60, 70 feet away from you, something like that. Which, by the way, is pretty common sight to find people on the main road. The only thing that would be a little weird is the, hold on a second, and then whisper something, then continue your way. What is their stance look like? Like, do they look standoffish or, like, casual? Two of them have their hands on the hilt of their weapon. Astor's going to casually get their bow out and ready. Maybe, I didn't say this earlier, Maddy clearly has a holy symbol on her hip, and she has a crest of a monitor tying her cloak together, which is pretty visible.

So, obvious cleric. Yeah, so clearly, woman of the cloth. Donovan's going to turn back and see that people are getting, not apprehensive, but especially Astor, so just going to raise an eyebrow and just do a small, like, smile by the corner of his mouth, and then just lean over to Maddy and pretend he's whispering in her ear, and just wink at her, and then just going to start walking towards the other people. It's like the walk with his thumbs in his belt, just walking towards them. Ubo taps Maddy on the shoulder and says, "Warriors, come. I cut my chest to scare them." Not quite yet.

Let's see how this plays out first. But, hold on to that thought. Chest cutting rock ready. Wait, wait, do you seriously use a rock for that? Like, is that even sanitary? Ubo looks over at Astor and says, "Yes," and then pulls out the chest cutting rock and goes, "This one." Uh huh. Gotcha. Good for chest cut. I smile and say, "Aster, don't you have a rock?" We all should have a rock, right? Everyone's got a rock. That is what I have been saying. I gotta ask, what condition is the rock in? Is it bloody from the last time you've done this? It's definitely not perfectly clean.

It's been used a couple... I mean, not recently, because they haven't been in a scrap lately. Yeah, there's no diplomacy checks needed. Occasionally, he washes it in the river a little bit. Wow. Okay, yeah. Good. These guys are gonna get side by side with you, and the road is big enough that you guys can pass... it's a pretty big road meant for wagons and carriages to pass each other in the night, and no one has to run off the road. They're gonna get side by side with you and start to slow down a bit, and they are clearly eyeing Ubo. Clearly. Maddie will nod at them and say, "May the light smile upon your travels, friends." The guy up front is gonna be... just kind of do that quizzical, like, "Huh?

Oh, uh..." He's gonna just halt his people and just step forward. Did you buy him in Durn Hollow? Because we're looking for some muscle, and... I mean, if they're selling half-breeds, I mean, that would be great. Maddie will tense up and say to him, "We are all free people here." I'm eyeing them. I have my book open, but I'm not really looking. I'm watching. So this guy's about, I'd say, maybe six feet tall, something like that. Just a touch above average height, something like that. And he's gonna take him, which is like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, man. I... pfft." It's just we could really use some muscle for an upcoming gig, and he's gonna walk up and start to kind of grab at Ubo's bicep like he's not a person.

Just like, "Man, look at that. Look at that." Maddie's gonna grab his arm so fast he didn't even see it coming. Does she stop him before he touches me? You know what? Let's find out. I think that's our first check, guys. Donovan's watching this with a big shit-eating grin on his face. Oh, after is this all. I was just like, "Heck, yes. This has been a really boring day today." And Amvin's like, "Yep. Not gonna get any progress on my book today." Do me a favor. Maddie, give me the athletics check. Okay. That's gonna be subpar. Oh, wait. No, 17. You're not. You're going to...

So just before he touches Ubo's skin, like just before it just like, just grab him by the wrist. And he's gonna stop like, "What? I'm touching your thing. Just what do you want?" She's gonna grip a little harder when she sees that look, and she's gonna be like, "I said we're all free people here." He did not give you his permission to be touched. Yeah, you don't want to touch him. He bites. You can't touch me. [Laughter] He's gonna let out a chuckle at that. Like the free pick. You're being earnest. It's just he's like, "Oh, okay. Yeah. No." She's not wrong.

I bite. [Laughter] Look, lady, I don't care what you do with your slave when you buy him, but we just wanted to know where you got him. That's all. Just admire in the muscle. That's it. So, okay. Ubo's not dumb, but Ubo doesn't know a ton of common. But he just used the S word. Yeah. And Ubo knows what slave means, and suddenly it kind of clicks, right? Right. And Ubo's mad. Does anyone stop Ubo from reaching for his quarterstaff aggressively? Yeah. I guess I'll start getting in between the other group and our group. I think Mazoka would reach out and grab Dawn of His Arms and just say, "Hey, just wait.

I want to see how this plays out." And then he starts walking up. Mattie is gonna take a deep breath and razor head to the sky just for a second and then look back down, let go of his arm, put out her hand to shake, and say, "I believe we got off to the wrong foot. I hear you have troubles and you're looking for help." He is going to sort of reflexively... If Ubo looks like he is going to get physical, something like that, he is going to reflexively be like, "Ooh, okay." And then he's going to straighten up and offer a hand back to Mattie. "Look, I didn't mean any harm.

We've had a tough week and I was just asking about him." And he sees Jestering with his hand at Ubo. Jason, do I know where the nearest orc encampment is? I assume it would be the one next to the Evergreen from where we are. Actually, the closest one. I don't know if I would know that. Possibly not. Everyone knows where the orc encampments are. That is a place to avoid for the most part. So they would too. Okay. I was going to send them there. Between Durnhollow and Donhurst, there is an area called the Divide, which is basically ambush center in Tharia. There are two forests that sort of collide and orcs and bandits just love to wait for passersby and ambush them and kill them and take their things.

Now, the orcs that live just beneath Stone Sundermound, those aren't the orcs you are trying to help out. You're trying to help out the Mozog clan. But they would be the closest ones to you. Yeah, so I would just say you can find what you're looking for. I describe the general direction. I haven't quite mastered my voice yet. Yeah, you can find what you're looking for. Northwest from here. He's going to think about it for a second. Okay, I'm not trying to commit suicide today, but whatever. I was fooled. What? You say you're not trying to die. Then you call me slave.

He is going to he's going to bristle at that a bit. Hey, I've had a tough week. I'm not going to be mouthed off to by property. Okay, so just and he's going to stop addressing Ubo mid sentence and address Mattie. Get him in check if that's going to be around other people. Okay, I punch him in the face. And just lets it happen. Wow. Okay, let's okay. I sigh. I'm not even going to have you roll for that. Because that is a thing that I just feel like I like he's in mid sentence and I'm guessing you're just going to sock him in the mouth. Yeah. Okay. Now, how much are you putting into are you really just trying to lay in and just like knock him down or is it just like I'm just teaching you a lesson?

Yeah, it's a shut up punch. Okay. He's going to take this punch in the face and reflexively his men are going to draw swords and crossbows and things and he's going to be holding his mouth and he's going to look at Donovan. And he's going to reach down and grab his weapon. He's going to draw sword and hold it out at Donovan, but it's thinking of threatening like he's using it as a pointer. I want an apology right now and you can hear his voice break just a tiny bit. All right, I'm going to put my hands up just like I'm not going to do anything. Just going to take one and a half step towards him.

I'm going to say I'm sorry and then I'm going to lean in and kiss him on the forehead. Wow. At you putting your hands up and then the I'm sorry, he's going to start to like just kind of start to relax his arm a little bit like, okay, all right. The kiss, however, he is going to take as absolutely demeaning like you're kissing a child. Like you're not you don't take him as a threat. It's like, oh, come here. It is going to send him into a fury. He is going to try and stab at Donovan. All right. Play D&D. Here's what we're going to do. I am going to I'm going to put some I'm going to put some things in the combat tracker, I guess.

I guess we're like at this point, we're all rolling initiative because I would fire if you're actually trying to hurt. Right. I would imagine. All right, let's do this. I feel like we're trying to set a record for getting bounties on our heads. Like this is I mean. I'll take the blame for that. I am going to slide you all on to the field in your marching orders as per. Oh, yeah. It's actually really accurate. Yeah. How we played it out to. Yeah, that's really cool. Just just for the listeners, I rolled last in the initiative and I just wanted to play out that I'm just remaining perfectly perfectly still with my hands in the air the whole turn.

Just like looking at him. I'm going to have them roll initiative. As per the traditions of D&D. OK. According to the bylaws. Mm hmm. Is there time to like say anything to other party members real quick or should I wait? You can absolutely say something. I'd say you have like a second while everyone's like just grabbing. It's like, OK, this is clearly escalated. Ubo says, Maddy, is this kill fight or teach fight? If there is fighting, teach. Ubo grunts and nods. Oh, man, I was hoping Maddy would be before the day of the autumn. Wow, I'm on fire tonight. I know.

I'm like, I didn't do too badly. And I don't know. I'm at the end. It's great for Donovan. So this bandit. OK, the bandit captain has already taken one damage. All right. So. Wow. Good hit. Good. Excellent hit. So, yeah, he's OK. He's he's going to draw his sword and his men are going to as well at that point. I believe it's just OK. Well, we have to kill you because you disrespected me so thoroughly in front of your property. It's crazy. I'm not going to take this. And then the greatest one lighter from when we're done with these guys. And then your turn. So looking at them like you really don't want to do this.

And I will assist the front guys of the main dude that just. Yep. And they he's the only one that's tried to attack the other ones. Have they they haven't tried to attack their own weapons? Yeah, they've drawn weapons. They they they look like they intend to. OK, then I will start to form lightning bolts from my finger and cast which bolt at him. Pull out my little twig and I picture the twig going limp. It's just. Damn it. Well, that was anticlimactic. I so I picture this lightning bolt just going slightly wide, striking the ground to his left. So it would be like a holy shit like that.

That could have hit me. These guys are probably used to dealing with non magic users for the most part. They honestly they look like rogues, bandits, thieves, something like that. Just just kind of ruffians. They have the look of people who don't work in honest days. Don't do it on his days work a lot. So that's going to that's going to like, whoa, that's going to catch him off guard for just a second. Is there anything else you'd like to do? Well, that didn't work out so well. And so, yeah, I'm debating if I should move or not. I think I'm good. I'm good.

I am good behind everybody. You're good. OK. Bandit number three. He is going to man this this does not this doesn't look well. He is going to step to the side and try to fire a crossbow bolt at Donovan. And the thinking here is if they could just like let's just kill the guy who disrespected you and we're done. That probably wouldn't do it, though. That probably wouldn't. So here we go. Like me nine. That is going to miss Bandit number one is going to step forward. I guess he's going to he's going to step up to Matty Target Matty. What? And just he's going to say, I'm really sorry.

Yeah, like he's not he won't even get an explanation as to why. Just like why he has to attack you. But just like, yeah, I'm really sorry. So he's going to take his sword and try to slash at Matty. That's going to hit all four damage to Matty. You butthole. Oh, he's going to come down with a sword again. Almost his eyes are almost going to close like, oh, really? Sorry. And he's going to slash out and and just kind of cut at Matty's arm. Going to fucking glare at him. Oh, now you've disrespected me. Bandit number four is going to target Donovan as well. Fire crossbow bolt.

That is going to miss. And that is going to bring up Matty. What what what would Matty's response be to to getting cut on the arm like that? I don't want to fight because this is just ridiculous. And Matty thinks so, too. OK, so I kind of want to do Thaumaturgy and you manifest a minor wonder, a sign of supernatural power within range. One of the things it says I can do is create a harmless tremor in the ground or I can make my voice boom. I'm trying to decide which one just to be like, well, she'll probably make her voice boom or something up to three times as loud.

It's a cantrip and say, I don't know if she could convince him to stop, though. Ah, man. Just just just go with what she would do. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Just that she would do just do it. OK, she'll yell, you've spilt your first blood. Now you could stop. And this is three times as loud as what. So it's obviously not it's not enough to knock anybody down. It's not like it's not that. But it is loud as shit. Like Gandalf. It's Gandalf. It's like, do not take me for it. So that's what you're doing. Yes. And you I would imagine you're screaming it at the at the bandit who just cut you.

Yes. And general direction of all the other bandits trying to get them to stop this nonsense. Right. The bandit. OK, the bandit who just took a swing at you is going to reflex with, oh, God, like just he did not expect that voice to come out of you. So it's like he's he's going to like pull back, just like it's like, oh, no, a spider, like just kind of like pull back a bit. And I would get if I were Matty, I would get the impression that maybe he's not the best bandit, like just not the best at what he does. And she hasn't even pulled out her weapon yet.

OK, he's going to look over to the bandit captain bandit captain's turn while that does just momentarily stop, stop him. Just like that's really weird. It didn't hurt anybody. And he is going to move forward and try to slash at Donovan. And he is going to swing with his he's got this big curved blade. No one kisses me. And he is going to swing. Oh, that's a 20. All right. All right. I'll allow it. That is going to hit. Six damage to Donovan. That'll bring up Masoka. OK. So your friend has just been slashed at. Like I would say this just comes down and just vaguely like cuts at the chest, just just broadside.

Yeah, he's going to he's going to look at that and look back at the bandit captain here. You said I can split my move, right? Oh, yeah. OK, so I'll take one step up and say you should consider it a privilege to have this man's lips on your forehead. And now I will have the privilege of removing your lips from your face. I'm going to I'm just going to say under my breath too much, Masoka, too much. I'm going to use my double daggers here and I'm going to I'm going to aim right at his face with them. So, OK, troll and I do these one at a time. Yep. OK. Oh, that'll hit.

That is almost a crit, ladies and gentlemen at home. I believe you get sneak attack damage, too, because you're standing next to Don. Oh, right. That's an extra six. Is he still threatening him? Didn't we say what happened? I just remember he said he has hands up until he was turned. I didn't know if it mattered for threatening. Technically, Maddy is also adjacent to him. Yeah. Yeah. I would say still. Yeah. OK. So I get that's in a D6. Yep. You get one of those. That is an extra four damage. Nice. Very nice. Are his lips still attached to his face? He still has lips.

OK. You are going to slash at you're going to slash it like the collarbone area and you're going to catch him just a bit. And that's he's going to try and pull back, but it will catch him. Collarbone and shoulder like that's it's it's kind of a nasty cut. OK, OK. Let's swing with the other dagger. 15, that'll hit. Nice. So that's two more damage. OK. OK. And I'll step back behind Donovan. Good day to you, sir. Yeah, you can't take your bonus action to disengage, right? No. So you can't. OK. As a rogue. Oh, yes. You can. Yep. See. Oh, so I have to declare that then? Yeah.

Bonus. I would imagine you are doing that like it's not. No, I just didn't know. So. Yeah. And it's a new system we're all going to get. Yeah. I feel it's going to be standard procedure for Masocha. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, disengage. Goodbye. Yeah. I picture it's hit with the hat like, yeah. Let that be a lesson. So the second hit isn't going to isn't going to catch him nearly as as well. But you are going to like slash at his arm. And that's that's the one holding the weapon. He's going to and he's going to shout after I'm done with him. I'm coming after you. And he is going to be pointing at Donovan.

Bandit number two sees all of this and runs away. He is going to just kind of move around this bush and he is going to target Masocha. And he is going to fire his crossbow bolt at Masocha. Nineteen. That will hit three damage. All right. I can take that. All right. Ubo Ubo. What does Ubo do? Let's what would Ubo's reaction firstly be to all of this? Like to Ubo, what was the scene? Because there was mild, like stop talking. And then it's, hey, don't use that word. Ubo's kind of taken the cue that it's time to fight and defend himself. But he's extremely confused about what's happened because like, you don't kiss strangers, right?

Like that's where it all just went like crooked for Ubo, right? He has no idea why Donovan is kissing these people and then they're trying to kill us. He has questions for later that he's got set aside. Like questions for review on this social incident. Did Ubo see Maddie get hurt or cut? I don't know if that's what it's about. Yeah, yeah. I think the biggest thing that has him committing to fighting is like this dude cut Maddie and Maddie's my friend. So Ubo's gonna go a one, a two, whoops, that's a whole square right there. He's gonna stand between worlds on the grid.

He's gonna get to here and he's gonna target Bandito one and Bandit Captain and he's going to Thunder Wave. And it's a 15 foot cube so it catches those two guys and he's kind of just casting it. I don't know, you get the idea. It fits. It doesn't hit any party members. And he just shouts, "The voice of the mountain says GO!" And the go is the thundering, like the word that thunders across these guys. Nice. So he, let's see, I just click that, right? That's it? Okay, well, let's see. The bandit number one is actually going to steady himself against all odds.

Steady himself and get ready to, whoa, and it's not going to do anything. The bandit captain, on the other hand, is going to fail that save and it's gonna shake him. So what does it do? Tell the kind folks at home. A wave of thunderous force sweeps out from you. Each creature within a 15 foot cube originating from you must make a constitutional saving throw. On a failed saving throw, the creature takes 2d8 thunder damage and is pushed 10 feet away from you. Successful save, the creature takes half as much damage and is not pushed. Unsecured objects are pushed 10 feet away and there is a thunderous boom out to 300 feet away.

Nice. Ubo warned absolutely no one to cover their ears. Oh. Mop, mop, mop. Is this like the hog clap? Yep, essentially, yes. So 11 damage to the guy who failed and 5 to the one who succeeded. Alright, already done. And the bandit captain here is just going to get bowled over 10 feet. Just kind of like, what just happened? What just hit me? That type of thing. And does Ubo want to do anything else? No, that's alright. He's just kind of pleased with himself. So this thunderous wave is going to just blare out. Birds are going to leave trees. It rings out. You can hear that echo sort of, well, if you can still hear, then yeah, you're going to hear that echo.

If I remain, I do something. But we'll save that for another day. Aster. Okay, Aster, they're going to kind of like, roll their eyes a bit. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, big dramatic magics, whatever. And they're very excited because it's been a very long and boring day and they're ready to shoot something in the face. So that's what they're going to do. Yeah. Little hit. 20, ladies and gentlemen. Seven damage to the bandit captain. And I don't... So the bandit captain is going to get pushed south here after Ubo flanked on the right. And while he's still getting his bearings, kind of trying to steady himself, an arrow is going to strike him in the chest.

And he's going to have a look on his face like, oh, just, just... I think I may have bitten off more than I should have. Perhaps I should just let the man kiss me. So... Aster gives him a wink. Donovan. Alright, he's going to have round, round, round eyes staring at all the lethal offense that just suddenly appeared all around him. He's going to look at his wounds, going to take a big breath in, going to take a second to win. Heal a d10+2 damage as a bonus action. So... by six. There we go. Then you're fine. He's going to look at the bandit captain, take one step towards him, still not drawing any weapons, but like seeing the expression on his face as well.

And he's just going to go closer and tell him, yeah, how about we call this a draw? You go wherever you are, and next time I see you, I pay you a drink, alright? Diplomacy, maybe? I'm thinking diplomacy, yeah. Or persuasion. Persuasion is what it is in 5e. Sorry. Give me a persuasion check. With pleasure. This is not going to be a very high check. Yeah. Okay. So after the arrow, you can imagine the amount of pain this gentleman is in. And he's sort of like, he's kind of clutching at the arrow, and he doesn't know whether to pull it out or not, and he's just...

He's going to look at Donovan and then look to the rest of the party, and then just furiously shake his head, yeah. And he's going to start to call out to his guys, and his voice is going to crack because he's in so much pain that he can't shout. Shouting is hurtful to him. And the rest of his men are just going to sort of back away gently, still having their weapons drawn, but they're going to sort of surround the bandit captain. And try to cart him away from you guys a bit. And that's going to take you out of combat. Unless anyone wants to do anything else that would be...

Master kind of wants to go get that arrow back, but if no one else moves, he's just going to kind of like... Let it go. You shouldn't take it out. They say you shouldn't take it out. Ubo kind of steps to the front of the party and yells after them, "Now who is owned?" (laughter) Snap. And then he just kind of grunts, and he just kind of like flexes in their general direction. (laughter) They're going to look back, just like, "Is he going to do something else?" And then it just... Again, no weapons drawn or anything like that. Now, by this point, they're just trying to get their leader patched up and get him away from you.

Because he's not in great shape. But they might move a step or two quicker. Just kind of getting away. It's like, "Uh huh. Bye." And Ubo looks back at the party and goes, "They will have a bad day when they return to their families and are killed for their cowardice." And he just smiles. Astor was already doubled over laughing, and then he just kind of almost sits on the ground like, "This is too much. This is amazing." And Vren's wondering why his stick didn't work. (laughter) It happens to the best of us. He's like, "Ah, I'm going to have to practice that.

I probably need a new one. I need to find one that's hit by lightning." (laughter) "Oh, what? There's a battle?" Ubo also looks to Mattie and just glances down at her cut. And he just kind of looks her in the eye and goes, "You got that?" I wear my battle wounds proudly. This is nothing. And then she'll nod to him. Ubo falls back to his place in the marching order. But she will wrap it up, because she doesn't want to bleed out or anything. (laughter) I would imagine after any fight, there's a time where you guys are sitting around, I imagine bandages. Bandages must be, they must sell huge for adventures, right?

It's like, yeah, I need a sack full of bandages. That's ten pounds of whatever I'm carrying. So, yeah, I imagine that first aid is just a thing you learn. Yeah, there's an actual career in Theria called "Gaw's Schlepper." (laughter) Mattie will look to Anvin and say, "I thought you said that you learned magic." (laughter) Did you not see the display of a lightning bolt hit the ground right there? I mean, it was right next to him, but it was right there. There will be a little singe in the ground. (laughter) "I thought you learned how to use magic well." (laughter) Harsh.

That was a warning shot. We all know this. I just didn't want to, I wanted to make sure everyone had their chance. She'll let out a smirk like she's obviously messing with you and be like, "Of course, of course." Are you okay? Yes, I'm fine. This is nothing. Good. Ubo sidles up beside Anvin and claps him on the back a little bit too hard and goes, "Maybe one day I teach you to speak with voice of the mountain." As I basically move a few feet forward after he hit me in the back, I feel like, "Yeah, maybe." Do you guys want to get back on the road? Yeah, I just want to say one more thing.

No, please don't. I'm a soka. I'm flattered, but what the fuck was that? (laughter) Donnie, you told me to be tough, so... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I thought it was tough. I don't know. That worked out. That worked out. Just, I don't think they were worth the killing. You did good. They hurt you. Did they? Well, not now, but I thought it was worth it. Alright, I guess I had no plans, so no foul. Sorry about that. Ubo, you okay? Did you learn something today? Why you kissed that man? Did you try to bite him and miss? (laughter) No, no, sometimes a kiss is more powerful than a weapon.

It just didn't work out this time. I do not believe you. Just stick with me, and maybe you'll watch and learn. Ubo looks at Maddie and says, "We made weird friends." (laughter) Maddie will smirk and look at Ubo and be like, "Yeah, we did." (laughter) And then can start walking. And then we'll do press a digitation on Donovan's to clean up any blood or anything that happened on him. Oh, wow. And then, "Thanks. Thanks a lot." He winks to Maddie to be like, "See?" (laughter) Alright. Is that just, okay, now I have to ask, is that just to show Maddie? Hey, I know stuff.

Because I was going to ask, Maddie's wearing white, right? Yeah. Uh, yes. Yeah, there'd be blood. Oh, yeah. She says she wears them proudly. Yes. No cleaning. That's why I didn't. (laughter) I was going to, and I was like, "Oh, that's right. Okay. Yeah, alright." He doesn't. (laughter) He just wants to show off. Be like, "Prove myself." And I'm going to look at Aster and just say, "Good fucking shot." Eh. I mean, it was a shot. It was a good fight. It's nice to have something to break up the whole walking in the heat in endless fields of grass thing. Damn right.

Don't worry. Soon we find slavers. Then we kill many. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. No kissing. (laughter) Only biting. Alright. I would imagine this is exceedingly boring, getting from place to place. Right? Because if you've ever been on a road trip, imagine just marching for days in a direction. Because the life of an adventurer is mostly, it's 95% boring and waiting for shit to happen. And then 5%, we might die. That's what I picture being an adventurer. But with that, I feel like maybe it might be time for a lunch. You guys kind of get, you're bandaging yourself up.

You're grabbing a bite to eat. Now I will say, everyone has rations in their pack, right? You got your dried meats. You got some bread. You got stuff like that. Now at some point during the day, you might want to go hunting or do something to have some actual meat. I wasn't going to say this with the boredom things. Aster doesn't take boredom well. Whenever they see signs of any sort of wildlife, they'll be like, "I'm going to go get dinner." Just like, "This is something to do." They're going to go like, "Oh, there's a bird flying overhead. Let's see if I can shoot it down." Kind of thing.

They would definitely be all for going hunting, just even as an activity of any sort. Okay. You know what? Do me a favor. Give me a survival check. Let's see if Aster catches something. Yeah, I would say that's plenty to get a boar or something of substance. And you might need some help dragging it back. But yeah, that would be enough to feed everybody. It'd take a little while to cook it. But that's meat, man. How does Ubo feel about the whole adventuring out on the road, just dried meat bread type of thing? When you're in towns, you could definitely stop for a hot meal.

But otherwise, it's-- He's got a high survival score too here, so he's probably used to like, "Oh, there's a little fruit or mushroom over here. Let's pluck that." And yeah, if you're killing animals, that's the whole predator-prey thing people got to eat. So yeah, he's totally into it. He looks gleeful when the Aster comes back with the boar. Who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat d20? I did it. Oh, you did it. Everybody at home. Yeah. Everybody at home, this is a proud tradition on D&R where someone in the party rolls a flat d20. And based on that, that kind of gives you an overarching, "How's the party's luck going to be for the day?" Now, this could lead to a lot of different stuff.

So 14, you guys are going to continue for the rest of the day. You'll have some people pass by going in the opposite direction. Some people on horseback kind of scoot past you, or you'll see a merchant or two heading up towards Durn Hollow. And after about six more hours on the road, it's getting kind of dark. And I'm imagining at some point you're going to set up camp and just kind of get some sleep for the day. I did want to say that before that I'll start, like, Eben started writing more, but it seemed like he was focused on a task as he was writing.

And then before we wrap up the night, I want to go up to Ubo. Okay, so we've made camp at this point then? I'd say yeah. Yeah. Not much you could do in the dark. I mean, you can continue on, but it, you know, it's getting to the point where you guys have to leave the main road is the problem. Okay. We've left the main road. We've made camp, I guess. And yeah, I mean, you know, if Ubo, if everyone is just kind of settling in for the night, Ubo is kind of like doing his, like, druid rituals stuff and like, you know, taking his various stones out of the different lattices and his armor and like, you know, setting them in circles and holding one in each hand and kind of clacking them together and speaking to the mountain.

Eben will wait until Ubo is complete before he actually walks up to him, but he's got like a purpose in his eyes. But just letting him respect his space, especially knowing how important meditation and a ritual of your abilities are. So yeah, when Ubo finishes, he kind of stands up and says, "We will have great power tomorrow, too. The mountain makes us strong." That is excellent. And I would love to learn more about how the mountain aids you. But I did want to give you something. And I open my book to where my bookmark is, and you actually see me rip out a piece of paper that has a lot of writing on it.

And I hand it to Ubo. And although you probably can't read a lot of the words, it's a very big, written, almost contract-style saying, but the keywords that you see is I write like "Ubo" and "free." It's basically what I wanted to almost be like a paper saying, "You're a free orc." It's kind of like a documentation saying, "You are free," so that you can keep that with you. This shows everyone that you are free. Ubo looks the paper over, and he says, "Why does it take so many words to say Ubo is free?" Because people are complicated, and sometimes you have to tell them over and over again before they get it.

Kind of like when you need to hit someone over and over again for them to understand a point. That is how I show people Ubo is free. This may help in a town where you can't. I will keep your paper. You are thinking ahead, Amvin. Very good. I try. Have a good night. You as well. Good news, guys. It is a gorgeous night out. Stars are above you. It cooled off significantly. It's one of those breezy nights after a hot day on the road where you just... I imagine you gotta take your armor off after a while and just kind of let... I'm gonna brace you for this. Being an adventurer is a smelly job.

It's just... Getting a shower is a rarity. Getting a nice bath. Now, I'm gonna give you guys a couple of different options here because there's two different ways you can head into this place. You can either follow the road just a bit more to the south and then break off east and there's this little nook between Pyre Forest and the Blistering Peaks that is essentially butted up against the mountains, the base of the mountains. And that's where trackers say this big Nuval camp is. Or you can follow the river and the danger with following the river is it makes it a little more difficult to hear.

So if someone were to get the drop on you, it could lead to bad things. Now, that also might mean that you get the drop on them because they can't hear you coming. Completely up to you guys. It would also be a good way to replenish water, though there's little ponds and streams and stuff where you are. She said the choice is a road or riverside. Pretty much, yep. Basically, Ubo kinda looks off on the horizon and looks at what we've got and says, "We should go by the river. I will guide us. We will have ad... advantage?" That one. Everyone else okay with that?

Yeah. Yeah, leading the way. Yes. If the whole party says yes, Mattie will reluctantly agree, but she's obviously super tense about it. I don't know if I wanna roll insight on... Nah, I think I'm good. On like, "I will guide us!" Like... Ubo's got a +5 survival, so he trusts himself. Yeah, Astar personally thinks they know like tracking in the forest and stuff really well, but they've kind of always let him think this. Like, "No, no, you got this, buddy. You're good." They don't really take Ubo that seriously right now. Let them play with an unplugged controller.

Basically. I will say what would be common knowledge is since orcs and half-orcs, they're not welcome in polite society so much. They kinda have to get good at living off the land and being out. I was thinking the same thing. That's why I was like, "Well, maybe I'd care more about figuring out if this place has any importance, like the lake or anything." Right. Or are we related to the world? You right now are right at the edge of the Pyre Forest. If you check your maps, everyone at home, you can check your maps too. If you go to dnrpodcast.com, there's a map on the website.

Otherwise, I don't know how to hand it to tens of thousands of people at a time. This is just the easiest way I can do it. So if you check your map right now, each one of those dots is about two and a half miles. So you have come quite a ways, but you're right at the edge of the forest. So if you were to split off right now and start following that river, one, you'd have a constant source of water, and you might be able to get the drop on them. I feel like when Maddie looks uncertain after a nudge or a bit, and be like, "What's up? You don't seem cool with the whole river thing." She's going to look down and start fidgeting with her hands, or fidget with her holy symbol, not looking them in the eye and say, "I have a bad history with rivers." But it's fine.

You sure? I mean, you're part of the party too. If you want to go by the road, we can go by the road. But if you don't want to say anything, it's cool. We got your back. We'll be fine. I appreciate it. I'll just be the one furthest away from the river. [laughter] You can pull us out if anyone falls in. Yes. That'll be me. Far away. You can tie yourself to me if you're afraid of falling in the water. No, I'll be okay over here. All right, sister. Hey, just think, it'll be more opportunities for baths, so it'll be relatively less stinky. I feel like as Aster says this, Ubo is literally just a couple feet away, literally taking a dust bath. [laughter] Like a chinchilla.

Yes, yes. He is clapping his hands into dust and patting it down on his body and then rolling it in a bit. Have you brought up the whole actual bath thing with him yet? We don't spend much time in towns for him to be familiar with it, but this seems to do its purpose. Just stay downwind. Just stay away. Stay upwind, I mean. Say Ammon's like the exact opposite, since he's so used to the Uma Nira luxury and impressive digitization and just always trying to be clean as the situation permits. Oh, yeah. By the way, Aster is totally going to try to get him to do everyone's laundry at the end of the day. [laughter] You showed up on one plate, this is your job now.

I will then be having you fetch my spell components as I need them. Like, "Oh, go find me a stick that's been hit by a lightning bolt." I have to find it in exchange for free laundry, heck yeah. So what time of day are we doing this river approach? I would say, let's see, in the morning if you set off toward the river, it would probably be about six hours or so before you get to the river proper. Okay, so we're going to be approaching the slavers' camp by about noon-ish. Oh, no, it'll probably be another day or two on the road, but you'll get there. Oh, okay, wait, what was the six hours thing?

The six hours is just you leaving the road proper and marching toward the river. The river's the closest thing to you. Oh, it's six hours to the river and then another period of time to the bandits. Yes. Gotcha. Okay, Ubo's ready. All right, so I imagine you all get a good night's sleep, you're well rested and ready to start the day, day nine on the road. I just want to establish Mattie is always up with the sun, and she's praying to the sunrise. Wow, that is dedication. Do you do the yoga stuff? Yes, yes, thank you. That's canon now. Yes, it is. That's your prayer.

The sunrise salute, it is a total yoga sequence, the sunrise salute, she does that every morning. Well, hiking along, again, boring, it's tedious. I imagine your feet are just blistered by now. Just marching, marching for miles and miles and miles every single day, because you can cover on a good day, 16 to 18 miles, like you can really get, but now it's getting to the point where this river is coming up. It's probably about noonish and you're going to hear this river and it's flowing pretty fast, nothing crazy, but it does make a little bit of noise.

And the closer you get to it, the more you'd have to raise your voice just a bit, unless you're standing very close to one another. So continuing along this river, there are some advantages to this. One, it will mask your noise as you travel, and the further you head away from roads in Theria, the bigger the chances that you're going to run into wildlife, you could run into bandits, you could run into less civilized, polite people, essentially, because people who avoid the main roads are usually avoiding them for reasons. Now, the advantage is obviously fresh water constantly, because it is still pretty warm.

It's floating around 95, 96 degrees today, and you're drinking more water as a result. It's just that constant fresh water kind of splashing on your face. If you wanted to, you can kind of take a bath at the end of the day, something like that. It's really handy. So you are going to continue down this river for a while, and it's going to sort of let up and slow down a bit. They're not rapids or anything like that, but it is slow. And just to the other side, it kind of thins to about 15 feet. Now, there's a 15-foot gap between you and the other side of this river.

There's going to be this little cliffside, very scalable. It's like, I don't know, 20, 23 feet high, something like that. And there's this little pond in the center of it. And it's about 10 by 10, right? And all around it is shallow water. That little 10 by 10 spot just below that cliff is actually pretty-- it looks pretty deep. But it looks like a really nice spot to stop if you wanted to. Yep. Totally up to you guys. I mean, I'd say, yeah, but I also want to check it out. Make sure that it's safe and everything beforehand. I don't know what the role for that would be.

We're new adventurers. What could possibly be wrong? Right. You know what? Give me a perception check if you really want to kind of scope out the area. Oh, dang. Oh, wait. Perception? The first one, I guess. I didn't mean to roll twice. I don't know how that happened, but OK. We'll take the first one. Yeah. The 15, not the 7. Thanks. Guess I should get my nose out of the book. Again, you'd have to-- oh, my. OK. Let's leave with Astar. I thought we were doing perception checks differently. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing everyone roll a perception check. It's going to be-- if we do a perception-- Why wouldn't we all be looking, though?

Well, it's not that you're not all looking. The way it was phrased, it's like, oh, Astar's going to scope it out, get a little closer and kind of investigate. It's like, I don't see anything. That type of thing. OK. The way I've always thought of adventuring groups, whether you're checking for traps, whether you're doing negotiation, something like that, someone takes the lead, and the rest of the party's like, oh, well, they took the lead. I guess they know what they're doing. I'm going to trust them. Because if you're constantly redoing someone's work or checking it, I imagine that would get insulting.

I check for traps, guys. Let me check for traps. No, I get it, because if everyone's rolling, someone's bound to roll high, and then it's like, why? Exactly. That's the meta reason why that's nice. Did you know it's all of our passives? Yes. Sweet. Yep. I got that. I got that going, too. Fancy. Notes have been taken. Oh, no. OK. So, again, this is like a 15-foot gap, but you can traipse right through this. The water's not very deep. It comes up to about hip high on Astar, so not very deep at all, and the water's not moving very quickly. And this little spot, it's shaded.

It's nice. Again, it's sort of... it's just a little... it's a weird setup. It looks like it's just naturally occurring, but just scalable rocks that sort of drop off. And Astar's going to find little tracks that look to be human, at least humanoid, that look like they've scaled the rocks quite a bit. And I would imagine that you'd kind of put two and two together. People kind of go like junior cliff diving off of the top of that. Oh, OK. As like a little thing to do. That is 100% something Astar's going to do. Once they're like, OK, they're going to report back.

Yeah, it's cool, guys. So if everyone else wants to hang out and stop, then... I'm going to start to get undressed right away. Oh yeah, no, no, as soon as everyone else gets there, it's like, yeah, we're going to stop. Astar's immediately scaling up that wall. We know what the situation is. She would have realized, she would have said, hey, it's like cliff diving. Yeah. So again, a lovely little spot to take a break, right? And not a camp or anything like that, but just a spot to take an hour and just like, OK, can we just stop marching for a few minutes?

Ibuprofen really needs to be invented in Theria too. OK, if you want to do this cliff diving thing, I have to warn you of something. Remember the description of there is a there's kind of a bull's eye, right? There's deep water and then the rest of it's kind of shallow and there's like rocks and stuff. Yeah. Be careful is all I'm saying. That's the challenge. Kelsey hears that and Kelsey wouldn't do that. Astar is 100% gung ho. Heck yes. All right. This is going to be a thing, so. Do you think so is did did Astar did they climb to the top of this and they're standing there?

OK. I'm totally not seeing any of this. I am sitting down, taking a break and just looking at my book and we will see if it's comedic relief, if it splashes all over my book when I'm sitting or not. Ubo is watching this and is just like, why are we taking a break for recreation? There are slaves to rescue. But he is just like looking he's looking on disapprovingly. Right. As this happens, like, ugh. Is the sun setting? Is that why we're stopping? Yeah, it's getting later in the day. It's probably around like four or five o'clock in the afternoon, something like that, if you had to put a time on it.

There's still plenty of daylight left, but you've been marching for hours and hours. OK, then Matty would probably just and start setting up camp. OK. Masoko would would have taken his boots off and he's soaking his feet because they have massive blisters on them. Oh, that's just the sound of it. Like I feel good, like I feel it. Oh, dude. So if you're doing it, if you're doing it right. OK, it depends. The river's right behind you. If you do it there, there's this cool, gentle current kind of caressing your feet and just it kind of just soothe some of that pain.

Yeah. If you're doing it, if you're doing it right there in the pool, then it's just still water, still very it's it's it's surprisingly warm because the sun was beating down on it for most of the day. So it's kind of kind of spa like and it's very serene, the rushing water behind you and this just this little it looks like it's been carved out of the forest. Just this little spot, plenty of rocks to sit on. I think you'll take the pool just so you can watch Astor. OK. See what they're up to. Seeing Matty getting the camp ready, I close my book and actually help out and even maybe start putting something together for food or where it's needed.

OK, here we go. I want you to make an acrobatics check on a 15 or higher. You are going to you're going to just hit the bullseye and you're going to be fine. OK, let's do it. That's kind of hot. It's kind of hot like that's. Holy shit. Nice. Look at showboat here. I just follow. Yeah, I so this is high up. This is this is like like like I said, about 20, 23 feet somewhere in there and just leap off. And there's that eerie silence where it feels like time slows down. Astor is going to leap off and plunge head first towards the ground, essentially nails it right in the center bullseye and just sort of disappears under the water.

Big splash. And then after a couple of seconds is going to emerge from the water and be fine. They are cackling like a madman. Heck, yes, they are extremely ecstatic that that went exactly as they hoped it would. As soon as as soon as Astor comes up from the water, Ubo says, terrible jump. Next time, make big ball, bigger splash. I will definitely keep that in mind. You can do it. All right. I get butt naked and I jump in the pool from the cliff or just in the in the pool from the cliff or just in. No, no, no. Just OK, cool. OK, I was going to say that. So, yeah, this again, it's it's just a nice, relaxing stop along.

It's actually a wonderful little reprieve. Just hours upon hours, days of just hiking and nothing. And then this is kind of a this is kind of a nice spot. So it sounds like you're making camp for the night. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like it. Now, you are about a full day's hike. If you were to stop now, you're about a full day's hike away from where this camp is supposed to be. And I would say the party having a map would know that. And that's an approximate. But how would everyone feel kind of knowing it's like, OK, it's been it's been, you know, over a week of this.

Tomorrow might be the day. Have have you given any thoughts or or has there been a talk about what the plan is? Nope. I don't know. Nope. That was the time. I mean, I feel like there's going to be kind of a look over their operation. You can't really make a plan till you know what the operation looks like. Mm hmm. Well, I guess we should bring it up then, Mattie, after the camp set up and everybody's with an earshot. She'll be like, well, we should be upon the place tomorrow. So how are we going to handle this? Step one, we go in. Step two, we kill many slavers.

Step three, take slaves home. And he just like looks around the party for approval. Yeah, Donovan nods. Plans are easy. I honestly was hoping you were going to stay like step one, this step one, this. That's a great plan. But what if there's more slavers than there are us? I don't know if anyone else here is also good at the whole sneaking scouting thing, but I've I can help out with that sort of stuff if that's what you're aiming for. Yeah, having a headcount would be would be good. If you could do that, that would be that would be perfect. I can become a bore and get closer.

Look over their numbers unless they really like bacon. Then I have to run. Yeah. How fast can you run as a bore? Like if they see you and go dinner, like, would you be able to get out of there? Because we could flank stealth then and that might work. I don't know. I don't have the bore stat block handy to see if it's faster than my 30 foot land speed. Jason, do you let me let me grab that for you? I can't remember. So my my speed is 30 feet. I just can't remember if the bore is faster, slower than me. I am pulling up now. Let's see. 40 feet. Okay. Astra's also thinking back to the fact that like a couple nights ago, they were able to hunt down a pretty easily for dinners.

The boys are kind of tough. Like they're not there. Yeah. It's nothing you want to do hand to hand like you don't want to take out a knife and tag them but bows and arrows. Maybe I gotta say, I kind of like the idea of having them go after the bore. Can it like have them split to hunt and then we can just have to get the jump on them. They will think I am the prey, but they will be the prey. Exactly. Exactly. That is I like that. But should we get a headcount first and then do that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we should also lay some traps. So that when we welcome us back with them, we can then still slow them down.

Okay. So headcount first and then hopefully bore traps. Yeah. I don't know about the traps, but I can jump from the jump down from a tree. That is a kind of trap. Yeah. Sounds like a good trap to me. A trap made of Donovan. It's all Donovan baby. While this may lower away their hunters, I don't think this would lower the whole slaving party. So we should have a backup plan or something after we get the hunters. Yeah, I mean, it'll at least knock down a few numbers and then we could roll from there. We think too much now without looking at the camp. We must see to know.

What is it? All right. Well, let a monitor light our path. Huh? Hey, Jason. The information we got about this place. Was there any details about it that would be relevant? I'm going to live with you guys. Everything you're hearing is kind of a hunch. There's a reason there isn't a bigger party backing you up because this is to placate the orcs. This is like, yeah, I we OK. We sent some trackers out and yeah, it looks like they were captured. That that sucks that their trackers basically followed this back and it's like, yeah, that looks like a lot of tracks leading to this area.

There has been known nouveau activity in that area. That's probably where they took them. They're also probably either dead by now or sold or gone. So let's send some fucking schmucks to go check it out. And we're going to talk to the orcs and say we've done everything we can. And that's why you guys are there. They offered they they offered one hundred fifty bucks, basically one hundred fifty gold to send you down. And if you come back with them, that is amazing. The city looks great. You guys look amazing. The orcs will be happy. If you don't come back, then that just proves, hey, we did everything.

We lost our people to trying to trying to get your your your buddies back. We tried. It's a win win. Except if you all die. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a win. Well, not a win for us. Not a win for you. The city's still fine, guys. Just letting you know Winterhaven is going to be OK. Are we getting sleep? Yeah. All right. And I will just fun because I realize I have this spell. I know you said you're going to do every two hours, but I will set the alarm spell for us. OK. Which just for everyone else is you set an alarm against unwanted intrusion. Choose a door, window or area within range that is no larger than a 20 foot cube until the spell ends and the alarm alerts you whenever a tiny or larger creature touches or enters the warded area.

When you cast a spell, you can designate the creatures that won't set off the alarm. So if you get up in the middle of the night, it won't trigger it. You also choose whether the alarm is mental or audible and it lasts for eight hours. Let me ask you a question. Where are you putting it? It's a good question. Because you can cover an area basically. It's 20 foot. So if you put it on top of you, that's too late. Yeah. I'm trying to think like where it would be coming towards the camp. And I kind of feel like what's behind us is OK. You guys can tell me if you guys think we kind of think of where we're coming going towards is where I'd want to have like an area.

Well, if we set it up our camp like right against that cliff or whatever, then they could only come from one direction. Yeah. Because I was looking towards that way. But if we want to. But I'm thinking, I'm like, hey, the alarm. Very suspicious. Hey, it's there, man. That'll never go away. I that's that's fine. One day I'll just steer into the skid. I will just become the Joker. So waking up the next day, alarm didn't go off. Everything's fine. I imagine you're packing up and you're getting ready to head out. Who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat D 20?

I'll do it. I do it. Oh, that is gorgeous. So check this out. The weather's going to break a bit as an 18 for everybody at home. Sorry. The weather's going to break a bit. And it's going to be a little cooler today in the lower 80s. So off the bat, that's good news. Again, fresh, cool water whenever you want. You pretty much just got to reach down, splash in your face, grab a drink, whatever. And there's abundant food. You could either try and go fishing at some point or you can just go hunting. There's plenty of wild game in the forest. Deer, things like that the day is going to fly by and probably because that adrenaline is going to start to start to get pumping.

About half a week of the day, you realize we could come up on this camp at any moment. Now, coming up, the river is going to sort of bend. But there's a section of hill that looks like it kind of leads up almost like a mountain pass. It's definitely higher ground. Now, you could take that and maybe you could survey the camp from up there or you can stay lower and take your chances that way. Now, the risks, of course, going up above is you will be able to if the camp is down there, you'll be able to kind of scout things out and get a get a God's eye view of everything.

Unfortunately, if you were to make too much noise or something, you could be easily spotted as well, because all they have to do is pan up and go, hey. This doesn't look like there's too much brush or anything like that. It looks like it's semi exposed. So stealthy person. Yes, who's really quiet? I could also go up there as a piggy and what are you going to do if a pig's watching you from a cliff? That's true. OK, we've got that and we've got two stealthy people. Does he know how many numbers? Like if we're like, oh, it's 20, will he come back and say there's seven?

He can pouch. OK, well, maybe what we do so Ubo can go on the hill and then I mean, can we go like the other sides of it and kind of just go through the woods? Like, would that also be an option? What do you mean just kind of like taking the lower path and go into the woods? Yeah. Yeah, of course. So we have like multiple people scouting me. Yeah. Problem with that being you'd be pretty separated from each other. So if something were to happen. I'm just just letting you know that's a great distance. I think piggy on the hill plan is probably the best one. Is Ubo, what side of him can turn into a boar?

Is it the orc side or is that just his? He's a druid. It's the druid. Yeah. That is not something all orcs can do. Is there a lot of orc druids? Oh, no. Oh, heavens no. Not a lot of orc magic users, period. My point being, are they going to be like, hmm, you know, there's a boar there that could be... No. Most, most times, if they see a boar, they're going to assume it's a boar. He doesn't look different. It's not like Beast Boy where he's green or something. Like he's just, he just looks like a boar. It's just, you know. Oh my God. What if the boar that Astarshot was just like turned into like a mouse?

That has happened before. It's true. Okay. Let's see. I can use this feature twice and I regain expended uses when I take a shorter long rest. I can stay in the beast shape for a number of hours equal to half my druid level rounded down. So one. So should I, how much climbing do I have to do before I'm near it? It's kind of a gradual slope upward. It doesn't look like it's too, it's too terrible. You can probably do it in pig form. Okay. Let's see. I'm just, I'm refreshing on the rules here. And by refreshing, I mean reading them for the first time. You choose whether your equipment falls to the ground in your space or merges with your new form.

It merges. Oh, I should probably mention that. So you can have it merge with your form, but is going to appear as though that boar is wearing armor. And carrying a weapon. Wait, no, it doesn't like, like sink into my skin. It doesn't like, no. Okay. No. I'm wearing a little, little. That's a little less convenient. That does change shape though. So it's like, he's wearing a little. Oh it's fitted to the boar. Oh my god, piggy armor. Wait, my armor changes from being fitted to the ork to being fitted to the boar? Yes. Okay. Hmm. That's, that's way too suspicious though.

It's adorable. It is. Especially if he's wearing the boots. I imagine if they did spot you, it's like, man, that boar is ready for adventure. Wow. Got a little like bindle that he carries behind him. Okay. So yeah, Ubo, I imagine in the, in the time that he has hung out with Mattie, he's done this a couple of times now. So he just like kind of heaps all his gear near Mattie. And then I imagine the druid transforming into a, into an animal is not like a pretty transformation. I imagine it's kind of like, it's, it's kind of like the kind of like horrifying werewolf, like bones rearranging kind of thing.

Oh it's like anamorphs. Yes. I honestly always, here's, here's the thing when we were going over this in the book, I always imagined American werewolf in London. I haven't seen it. Oh my god. That's a famous transformation. Basically it looks like the most painful thing. It's not painful. It's just horrifying. It's exactly like animals. And yeah. Yeah. Is that when like the wolf's mouth comes out of the human mouth? Yes. Yeah. It's not as gruesome, but I imagine like he hunches over and his posture changes and you know, hands disappear into hooves and it's, it's one of those things like, wow.

I picture that they'd be more elegant. Like just. So we're like, you should turn into your pig form and go scope it out. And then he just immediately starts taking off all his clothes and then hunches over. That's the way I'm imagining it. Sorry. I mean, is that what we're doing now? Okay. No. Number one, that is how it goes. And number two, Ubo's all business about it. I like that. This is, this is how it works. So yeah, Ubo, Ubo piggies up and then just kind of like gives the party like a proud snort once he is in his pig form and just starts trotting off up the hill.

I wrote some serious notes on that whole transformation. Oh, dude. We need character art. Research. So Ubo's gonna, he's gonna start jutting up this, this hill. And after a few moments he's going to disappear, go around this little bend. And I guess the party's just going to chill here while he goes on a little adventure. I mean, I feel like we'd like keep watch on it. Well, I mean, there's really no way to do that without following him. Oh, okay. I mean, you could take the route opposite him in the forest, but that leads you back to where you were. Yeah. Okay.

Well, I guess. If you want to. Keep an ear out. Yeah. Astor and Masoka, if both of you, you want to just scout ahead, but not too far, you can do it as well. Just stay low. I mean, I feel like maybe we like fall behind him like a bit to stay like, so we're aware if something goes horribly wrong, but yeah. Stay within sight of the cat. But he should be getting all the information we need. So we're kind of who watches the watchman type of thing. That makes sense. 35 minutes. 35 minutes are going to pass. Ubo in a run of luck that is just amazing is going to get to a point where this sort of levels off.

It sort of plateaus and it's a nice little cliffside thing. And looking down into this patch of forest, some of it has been chopped down and, and some of it has been sort of cleared out to make room for this large camp. Ubo is going to hear a lot of noise and I would like you to do me a favor and give me a perception check to see exactly how much of this you're, you're, you're picking up. Solid 16. That's very solid. So this is an operation you're, you're watching people move in and out. It's tough to gauge exactly how many people there are, but there's a considerable amount in the time that Ubo has watched the camp so far.

He spotted about 25, maybe 30 and they run the gamut. Some of them don't look like fighters necessarily. They look to be some burly people there. More importantly, towards the back of this camp, you're going to see wagons set up with cages on top of them. And these are flatback wagons. It's just basically there to, to roll these orcs to where they need to go. And you're going to see several orcs caged up in these contraptions. They don't look pleased. I imagine. Oh yeah. The other thing you're going to notice is every once in a while, it looks like one of these guys are going to get bored and sort of walk up to the cage and stay just out of arm's reach.

And they'll do things like spit or just kind of shout at them. Try to do the thing where you, you get close enough to the cage where they could take a swipe at you and then back up. In one case, there was a guy who walked up with a large pole, sort of the back of a spear, the blunt end, and just started jabbing at them. That is the sight that Ubo is seeing. Okay. I begin trotting back down the mountain. All right. 35 minutes later. So an hour and 10 minutes has passed for the party. So after the hour is up, I have to revert back, which means I am now just like walking through the woods naked.

Right. He's coming down the mountain naked. Yeah. That's a sight, I would imagine. Yeah. I clap when he comes back. I give him a polite golf clap. Mattie hands over his stuff. Yeah. Ubo just dresses himself back up nonchalantly as though there's absolutely nothing strange about that. As he arrives, he looks mad and he says, "We will kill 30 slavers today." Whew. Yeah, sure. Did you see any slaves in there? I mean, captured free people. They have many orcs in cages. They spit on them, poke them. Can you draw on the ground or something? Just like a basic, like where the cages are and stuff?

Because if we could get them out of the cages, they'd probably help in killing the slavers, I think. I was thinking the same thing because there was 30. How many did you see in the cages? How many did I see, Jason? He would have seen nine or 10 of them. It looked to be about 10. The problem is they have been caged up for weeks now, almost three weeks. I don't know if they're going to be a crazy big help in a fight. Back to picky bait plan. It's up to them if they want to fight or not. They could also try to escape. But it's definitely better than going head on against 30 people and possibly having to retreat without having opened the cages.

They have to leave at some point, like at least send out patrols and stuff. Could we pick those off at least to narrow it down a bit before? I don't think rushing in there just six against 30 is going to do it, you know? We must feel like we need a way to get them out. There's the pig plan, but it's almost like if we could, we must be like, "There's some orcs this way," and get a few of them, and then surprise them in multiple rounds of some sort. Whether it's the hunters do the pig thing, and then we do, "Hey, we found some orcs this way." I think Aster is right.

We look for patrols. Pick them off slowly. Might take a few days. How far apart were the buildings there, or the camp? Ubo scratches a rough version of the camp into the dust for informational purposes. Yeah, there are several tents set up through this thing, and there'd be a couple fires going. This looks like they've settled in quite a bit. Not buildings, but definitely tents. How far away were the cages from these tents? A couple of the tents are near the cages, about 15 feet away, somewhere in there. I was wondering if we waited tonight and then set some tents on fire.

The one thing you guys have, as of right now, is the element of surprise. They don't know you are here. How you utilize that is completely up to you. I like the fire idea, and Ubo does his cantrip produce flame, and shows that he can make the fire. He says, "If we go at night, fire is a good distraction. Make tents burn. Maybe get orcs out of cages while they try to stop it?" That could definitely work. That's a great plan. She'll look to Ubo while she says that, like, "Wow, that's a great plan." It is a bad plan, not enough dead slavers, but it is a safe plan.

Fire, maybe an occasional lightning bolt, and there might be a few more dead than we expect. There's always more dead than we expect. How are we supposed to sneak out of there? Hopefully there's enough fire that they'll be distracted and only catch a few people's attention. At the very least. Or at the very most. I don't have a hard time believing we're going to be sneaking out of there. Honestly. Ubo, do you think these orcs are going to want to just leave and sneak out, or do you think they'll want to get revenge? They will want revenge. Whether they will feel strong enough to take it, I do not know.

Alright, let's do it at night. We'll act fast on the cages, on the fires first. Act fast on the cages if we can avoid being seen, and then the decision will be in the hands of the orcs. Meanwhile, we'll keep setting tans on fire. Alright, I think Aster and I can sneak in back to the cages. Bill Nod. I'm going to feel so bad if I get you killed. Does Evan say that? No. That was Michael. He might be thinking it, but... We all know what we're into. We signed the waiver. So it sounds like you're sneaking into the camp at night? Yes. Do we want to split up into a free slaves team and a distraction team?

I think that sounds amazing. Do you think Ubo would want to take boar form and come with stealth free slaves team? The problem is Ubo's not super sneaky. If you guys actually have stealth training, Ubo does not. I feel like it's just Aster and Masoka. I was thinking for appearance wise, if he wants to make a good impression on their works, it would be... Or maybe he could keep at a distance the way from behind us, but nearby, just in case we need backup. I'm the guy with fire though. Oh, that's a good point. You're the fire guy. You'll talk to them after then.

As far as making an impression on the orcs, I think wrecking their shit is going to be the best way. And unlocking the cages. I'm going to set up this little map just to make things easier. So splitting up into two teams, you got Aster and Masoka. And they're going to split off and head north very slowly through this underbrush and just try to get into this camp without alerting anybody. And then you got the rest of the party who's going to hang back and take up a bit of a straightforward approach. And just try to get to one of the tents on the outer rim here.

Now obviously, the job of Masoka and Aster, that job's a little more difficult because you are trying to get toward the center of the camp, sneak up to these cages, and then pick locks. And not get spotted. We're not going right through the center, are we? No, you're kind of on the outer rim. But you still got to be quiet. So here's what I'm going to do first. After you disappear for a little while, I'd say like five, ten minutes goes by, something like that. Team distraction. Are you ready to make a distraction? Let's do this. Okay. Sure. I heard something about Conjuring Flame.

Yeah. Do you need an attack roll or is the tent pretty stationary? The tent's pretty stationary. It's not a particularly dodgy tent, but it's wearing armor. I'm asking is does it just work? Because if it just works, I'd do that thing. It pretty much just works. It's a cloth tent. It's not like wood or stone or anything like that. It resists. It's so dexterous. So Ubo is going to conjure this flame. And the rub is you have to get within 30 feet of the tent, which I imagine you do. I have one too, so we could light two tents. Two tents on fire at the same time.

Oh, God. It's a cantrip too. Mine's 60. What it looks like right now is there is kind of a congregation of people toward the center of this camp. You got your random patrol people every once in a while, like one or two people kind of on the outskirts, mostly, honestly, looking out for wild animals, that type of thing, just to make sure that nothing's screwing with their food or tent. So they're kind of doing their patrol and you guys are going to sneak up. And you're going to flick fire, magic fire, at their tents. And two of the tents on the outskirts are going to be struck from the back.

And at first it's just kind of a *pow* like it just kind of hits one area. And then after a few seconds that fire is going to spread. And it is going to rapidly climb up these tents and just sort of lay on top of it like a big old flamey hug. And just start devouring these tents. And you're going to hear panic set in as people try to run over and put these fires out there. They're taking blankets and kind of like smacking it. Team... Orc Freeers. Maybe. Yep. Yep. I would like... I'd like you both to roll a stealth check please. Hey! That was not a good roll, but my bones...

It's not the worst! It's not the worst! Okay, that's a 12 from Aster and a 14 from Misoka. I will say that it is a good thing there's a distraction going on right now. Because even on the outer rim there'd be a little bit of noise. So picture as you guys are approaching these wagons. There's two large cages, right, with five orcs in there a piece. So as you're approaching just picture like twig snapping or something like that from Aster. And then just maybe Misoka's foot gets caught on a little bit of ivy or something. It's just a little bit of noise. But I imagine it's one of those things you both stop and go "Fuck!" Like, "You just... fell on my ankle!" You've lost five hit points.

Now there was a patrolman up by this cage. He is going to move forward as these flames start to spread. And what they're trying to do is stop... Some of these tents are kind of close by. They don't want all their possessions burning up. So they're trying to grab water. They're trying to deal with this, right? So a majority of the camp is kind of at least facing that. Maybe not abandoning their post completely, but they are definitely looking at this fire. And I would say that does give you a clear shot if you want to go for it to try to open these cages.

I mean, I don't think it's going to get better than this. Do the orcs see us? Like, are they reacting in any way? I would say at this point maybe one or two. Yeah, they don't look... They don't look great. They look like they've been basically caged and beaten and malnourished for a few weeks. But they are hardy. They are orcs. I think that would have really punished, like say, a human a lot more. But they don't look happy. You think they'd probably approach like, you know, sort of hands up like, "I mean no harm." And then sort of like, you know, keep eye contact and slowly reach for the lock.

Which is going to confuse them greatly. Because they associate people like you with enslavement, not... Yes, I imagine so, yeah. And there might be more protest or maybe grabbing at you or something if they had the energy. But it just... After seeing you play with the lock, I would imagine the thought process is, "Okay, either you're stupid enough to let us out and I will kill you." Or, "If you're trying to get a better advantage to beat me just by opening this door, maybe I can murder you." Or, "You're trying to set me free. I don't care why." Yeah, really.

They're not trying to reason it out. Yeah. So... Does team distraction really need to do anything else on the distraction side? Or could we start circling around to where they entered so that we can back them up if something bad happens? That's what I was going to ask you guys. After you do cause a distraction, are you trying to get where they are? I would think we'd want to get out of the way so that A) we're not noticed, that we just set them on just enough flames and not look like just arsonists are just standing there in my presence. [Laughter] You all start whistling nonchalantly.

Yeah, that would be the smart thing to do. Yeah, just change the decision. Oh my gosh. Okay. I have a thought. And... Let me put it this way. The thought strikes Ubo and he realizes there's no time to ask the party if this is okay. Oh, awesome. I love these things. Just do it. So Ubo says, "Go meet with the others. I will catch up." And he starts using his second boar form transformation. So nudity abound? No, no, no, no, no. He keeps armor on for this one. Oh. He just starts stripping. No, no, no. He's fully armored for this one. Fully armored. Okay. Okay. So he's like, "Oh." With his little booties.

I'm sorry. I'm so excited. So I do a picture. This will be fan art. Yeah, I do picture a boar, like a fairly sizable boar, wearing... What does Ubo wear? Leather? Leather, yeah. Yeah, so like leather armor and there's a staff on its back. And it's just like, yeah, just like little, little, little booties on the moves. Yeah. And when he uses his ultimate move, the staff spins like a helicopter blade and he flies. I love this. So here's the goal. The goal is, in boar form, charge through the camp, catch a flaming tent on my tusk and drag it into the other tents and then bolt out the other side of the camp.

Oh my God, you're gonna get shot by arrows. So I just want to catch it, drag it into more tents, and then just keep running. Like I'm a boar spooked by fire who happens to be wearing a ton of armor and have a staff. Right, that's the only thing that's like... Which I imagine, this is... Okay, if this were to get pulled off, right? It's one of those things where it's like, I don't care about the arm. It's more the fire we're worried about right now. We can investigate this boar armor situation later. Okay, so the rest of the party, let's do this. The rest of the party, I'm guessing, is going to start back around and curl back to the east here and try to wind up where Masoka and Astor took off to, correct?

Yeah. Okay, while Ubo's getting ready to do that, I'm guessing, and correct me if I'm wrong, Astor's going to take a cage and Masoka's going to take a cage, correct? Sure, yes. Okay, now these locks are obviously strong enough to keep these orcs in, but it's more about the sturdiness of the cage. The locking mechanism is just pretty good. So I would like you to roll a dexterity check with a plus two. I believe Masoka gets a plus four for his thieves' tools? Yeah, because he has the extra thing. I took it for a different skill. So Masoka, roll a dexterity check with a plus four, and Astor, roll with a plus two.

If you get to thirteen or higher... Dang it! Wow, okay. Why are we rolling so badly? Okay, well that's a four and a five, so okay, that's not great. So you're going to fiddle with these locks, right? And the seconds are going to tick by into minutes, right? And I would imagine both of you are looking at each other like, "This isn't working." So... Shit! Three whole minutes have ticked by now. At this point the orc is going to look down like, "Okay, do you know what you're doing or not?" Like I kind of was under the impression some shit was going to... Like, what is going on?

I forgot my key. Ubo! Yes? Are you ready to do this? Yes. Always. Okay, let's get ready and make a bigger distraction here. So, what stats do you keep as a druid? My mental stats. Okay, so your dex is more dex, so that's going to be plus zero. But, it's not going to take a lot to pull off the thing you want. So do me a favor and roll a flat d20. Okay. Yank in a tent isn't strength? Real tense. No, I want you to... This is you bolting in. So this is basically how quickly you're moving at these tents and doing what you're doing. Okay. Oh, that's gorgeous. That's 15. Okay, so this boar, this fucking armored boar is going to come in out of nowhere.

And these guys are still distracted. The fire is just getting out of control. Some people are actually trying to reach inside the burning tent to grab things out of them, right? So they must have something in here that is worth something to them. Anubo is going to come streaking from these bushes. Out of the darkness. Out of the darkness. Is there some sort of war snort or grunt or squeal that you're going to come in with? I want to squeal like I'm a boar scared by fire. Okay. Do me a favor. Now give me a strength check. That's a 20 plus one. Okay. Just a one and go.

Oh! Holy shit. Hot streak. 18, ladies and gentlemen at home. He is going to catch his tusk right on the edge of this first tent, like coming around the corner, right? And he is going to yank half of this down. And it is just going to be a burning cloth streaking behind him. As he tears ass through this camp. We already did the dex check. He's moving at a really good clip. And the strength check means he didn't slow down at all. He is going to continue. There is going to be a fever pitch panic as you streak off to the next tent and just start trying to light shit on fire.

Meanwhile, I would say by this point, Team Distraction has met up with... Oh no. Has met up... With Masoka and Astor. So you got it out, right? They can wait a minute. So again, minutes have passed. So where are they? So will we try again? Yep. I would say, so as they are walking up, give me one more attempt. Both of you. Hack! Oh wait, did that make it? Was it not being? They both made it. Holy shit. Wow. We just barely made it. Wow. It's the pressure of working in a group. That's what it is. So just as these guys are walking up, you're going to hear two clicks and you are going to open these cage doors just as they're walking up.

Oh yeah, we timed it that way on purpose to be more dramatic. Oh my god, I imagine there's like a bit of perspiration. Like, oh come on, you fucking lock. Come on. We had to fight some guys before we got here. Yeah, it was really tough guys. I guess get a story straight before. These doors are going to open though. I'm going to drop, well I have both my hand axes in each hand and I'm going to flip them so I'm holding by the axe part and holding them to the orcs that are in the open doors for the orcs to take. Well, okay, the orc is initially going to think that you're trying to threaten him a little bit, like you're grabbing a weapon.

I know you're not doing it. Yeah, I already had them. Right, but it's going to be like, why? Why are you doing this? Because it's foreign. Like, you guys are, why would you rescue them? Why would you come to get, like it doesn't quite make sense to them. But after a second, he's going to reach out and grab that axe. So like two of them can take one. I don't mind. There are weapons around this camp. Now these, again, there's a lovely distraction going on in the middle of this. One of the orcs is going to take one of these axes and move over to one of the tents that are not on fire.

And he's going to slash down it and just kind of cut the back of this tent out, right? And he is going to disappear into it for a moment. And he's going to come out with this white powdery substance. Oh, no. Everyone, you guys, could you do me a favor? Give me a survival check. Am I familiar with drugs? Can I do medicine? Huh? Can I do medicine? Yes, you could do that too. This is not medicine, but yeah. Yes. Oh, OK. Yes. OK. Why does that work? Oh, poor. Amven is sheltered. Is that baking soda? I would say, yeah, Astor, Masocha, jeez, Mattie. And that's it. You're going to recognize this as a very potent drug.

In theory, it's known as Yarrow, which is it's used by slavers sometimes to if they're training a fighter, so to speak, training, what they'll do is they'll give it to them. And first of all, it's very addictive. Secondly, it amps them up and shuts down pain receptors very temporarily. So essentially, they just go nuts. They blank out, they get hyper violence, and it pushes them to do superhuman feats for a short period of time. This orc is just going to jam it in its face, just a palmful of it, and just give a big snort. And it's going to clench both fists for a minute as a just a rivelet of blood just starts pouring out of his nose.

And he is going to bellow into the sky. And then he's going to race towards the center of this camp with the axe held high. And I think that's a pretty good time for us to stop there. You have to give him an axe. I was waiting for it, and Jake has injured the call. That would be extra hilarious because he would be like, "And I'm basically playing the exact same character." And I have the same introduction. [Laughter] Oh, good lord. Awesome. Thank you. What's up, guys? Yeah. Whew. We really hope that you enjoyed today's episode. It was a ton of work for everybody.

We really wanted to kick this new arc off in fashion. And again, today's episode was sponsored by the lovely folks at Patreon. They keep our lights on. They allow us to do this for our living. It is amazing what they're doing for us. And we bend over backwards to try and produce a ton of content. There's about six to eight shows, depending on the month, that we produce just for lovely Patreon folks. If you go to patreon.com/dandr, you can find all the stuff there. Here's a clip from something called the Safe Haven Society. It's something we do each and every month.

It's just a bit of extra roleplay. It fleshes out stuff in the world. And we tell stories in character in a little bar called Safe Haven in the city of Brightport. So on the show, they take turns telling stories and sharing experiences, and in between each story, they go get a round of drinks. In this clip, a halfling named Depan is asking a githzerai named Milo how he fights with one arm. Milo is obviously pretty drunk in this clip, so enjoy. How do you think I load this? And he's waving the unloaded crossbow in Depan's face. How do you think I do that?

Slowly? Milo is going to laugh just like that, just as high pitched and everything, to the point where it's almost creepy, because I'm a lady and he does not have a lady's voice. And then he's going to kind of turn so that Depan can see the mechanism on his hip that we've talked about it before. He has a fancy little mechanical thing. It's not like steampunk or anything. It just works with screws and fucking screws. It's essentially a lever. Yeah, it's just- yeah, so, and he places it into the mechanism. And at that point, he can let it go. And then he can pull a lever.

And the whole thing loads on its own for the most part. And then he picks it back up. He's like, aha! Depan's going to notice the mechanism for the first time. I don't think he's got a really good, like a clean look at it. Yeah, they've been studying for a while. Yeah, or understood exactly what it's for or something like that. That would be completely foreign to him. Yeah. And he's going to go a bit wide-eyed at how fast it gets loaded, because it probably takes like two seconds all said and done. And before he could say anything about- it's like, oh, wow, that's really impressive or anything like that.

There's a crossbow being waved in his face that is now loaded. Right, right. Now it's- and a very drunk man is holding it. So it's just kind of a, okay, that's great, put that down, baby. Just like, don't shoot me in the face. Back over at the bar, I would imagine Satay is getting a bit impatient at how long it's taking to get these beverages, because the bar's kind of hopping at this point. Like, it's late enough in the evening that everyone's kind of piled in. There's nothing really else to do in this section of town. Like, it's either get drunk or work, I guess.

By work, I mean- Brothel. Probably, yes. Something like that. Fun work. Yeah, fun work. Depending on what kind of night you're having. Yeah. But after a few seconds, there is going to be a crossbow bolt striking one of the pillars next to the bar. And I would imagine the bartender- the bartender's still upset at this point. Satay is going to look at the bartender and realize like, okay, look, I get it. No one was hurt, though. Don't be a bitch. Like, that kind of act. Like, it's like no one got hurt. But realizing that the bartender is still upset, and that in polite society, it's probably not a friendly maneuver to just fire a loaded weapon in a crowded bar.

That type of thing. So he would offer kind of a, "I'm sorry. My friend is a moron." And grab- start grabbing beverages and just like, it's like, okay, we're done now, though. Like, that's it. Like, that's the end of this transaction. We're fine. Right. I paged you. Yeah, we're done. You didn't get hit. You're fine. So if that sounds like something you might be interested in, go to patreon.com/dandr and join the people who help support this show. You can also find us at dandrpodcast.com. You can find our Facebook, our Twitter, our forums are there, Discord server, all kinds of awesome stuff we want to hear from you.

Please reach out. dandrpodcast@gmail.com is our email. Send us an email, let us know what you think, and of course we always very much appreciate iTunes reviews. If you go to iTunes, look us up and give us a rating, man. Let us know what you think. It really, really helps us out and helps us kind of spread the word. If you think a friend might be interested, ship it off to them. So thank you everybody out there so much. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. And until then, let us know what you think in the comments and keep in touch with us. .