Swarm

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They also have metallic sets of dice. I've been a collector of physical dice now for a few years, and I've never had a set of metallic dice. These things are so worth the extra money, I really can't put it into words. The weight of these dice is so satisfying. The D20 specifically, just tossing that, it feels amazing. If you go to easyrollerdice.com, you can check out all of their various color combinations. It's actually really impressive. Once you get a box of these in your hand, it feels ceremonial, it feels kind of primal. They feel hearty and reliable.

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And Valerie. Hi, I'm Valerie and I play Elena, the human fighter. Oh boy. So for everyone here, it's been one day. We are doing back to back sessions, which is something, yeah, we haven't done it in forever. It's great. For everyone out there, it's been a week. I wish we did it more. Can we do it every day? Every single day. Can you never get burnt out? Is that cool? You just host all these games and-- I mean, I'll send you Red Bull, it'll be fine. Okay. It's like why I just had a conversation with Karen, it's just like water, it's totally fine. You will never have a heart attack.

Or get diabetes. Aww. I love my butt so good. It is the fourth of Yesd. Now, you guys are on the way up to Lockfort. And you're getting to the point now where you gotta start being on the lookout. Because it's right about this time that the gentleman who were going to be escorting you from Fair Bay to Lockfort and handing you off to the members of the Fang, it's right in this area that they were supposed to meet up with some members. So at any point from this point forward, at any point you could be meeting up with them. Now, the thing that you would know is members of the Fang are pretty distinctive in that their right shoulder guards are almost always painted red.

It's kind of a signal to other Fang members. It's like, "Okay, you're in the club. Cool." We fucked up, guys. We don't have red paint. I didn't know that when I made the description. I apologize. Let's say you did. Let's say you did. Because it is common knowledge that you-- Okay, the guys you ran into, that would have been a pre-significant marker. It would have been like, "Okay, yeah." And it's also kind of a show-offy thing. Think of the opposite of how a sheriff would wear a badge or something like that. Something to signify that it's like, "Oh, yeah, man.

We're in the club." Now, I would say that you guys are settling in for the night, and you're getting ready to get started in the morning on the 5th. Is there anything you'd like to do before we kind of push things forward? Did we come into the town in the disguises? Oh, you're not in Lockford yet. Oh, not yet. You're another day, day and a half out. I would probably just tell the party, "Hey, if we're going to do this, we should prepare the night before." Right? Because we're almost there. Should we come up with a word to signal all of us? You're pretty good at that, Braylin.

Is there a word we can all-- If said, we'll all know to jump to action? The word is "cheese." Cheese. Or cheese in the conversation. That's tasty. Wait, is there cheese in there? Yeah. Yep. There's gotta be cheese. There's cheese. We didn't invent cheese. There's cheese, yes. Okay, thank God. Braylin would tell Helen and the rest of the group, "If things pop off and it looks like it's definitely going south, just say the word 'cheese' and we know that it's time to bust out the heavy weaponry, or in my case, the tiny weaponry." And he puts his short sword away.

What are we justifying as going bad? Because we still don't have a plan. That's a good point. I guess if they decide that they don't want to reason, they don't want to talk to us, maybe? If it looks like negotiations don't work. I think we want to meet with their four generals or whatever, or I guess, can we get some clarification? Is it, are they meeting these four people, or is it like we're meeting the Fang as a group and then taking the four people? Or do we not know? That's the thing. The way it was relayed to you was sort of in a panic, and you know that the people in charge are Brock, Krista, Trent, and Ripley.

You don't know if you're actually meeting them right this minute, or if it was one of those things where you were going to pick them up on the way to Brightport, and these are lackeys or minions. You're not exactly sure. Okay, okay. So, got it. So, Cauldron will say, "Well, the plan will be for the two of you," and he looks to Tatiana and Elena, "to present us as a gift, a way of ingratiating yourself to be full-fledged members of this group. And in return, you want to take us and personally present us to this Brock, Krista, Trent, and Ripley, so that when we come face-to-face, we can all say cheese and get them in a position of submission so that we can let them know to stop following us.

And if bearing that, I suppose making it so they can't follow us anymore." Hmm, I like it. "If we can get them to leave us alone with their lives and go back to the Black Hand and tell her that their failure and they couldn't capture us, that's great. And he looks to Elena specifically, "Things might go south and there might be violence again. Are you okay with that?" Elena's going to sort of sigh a little bit and say, "Well, I understand that violence is sometimes necessary. I just don't know how well I'll be able to pull this off." "You'll do fine.

And I'm sure the disguises that Braylin made are great. They'll be exceptional to help you." Braylin's, "I think I still have them in my pack, but I'll slowly pull them out of the pack. Yeah, these are great. Here you go. This is for you." He gets Elena her disguise. "The Calis is right here." These are Calis. "I worked really hard on them, so I expect lots of compliments." [laughter] Sinks back into the heads, like that Homer meme, the Homer joke. [laughter] She will hold this out in front of her, sort of deadpan at Braylin, and say, "I'm not wearing this." What's wrong with it?

"I mean, you see it too, right? I'm not wearing this." I see a masterpiece. I don't know what you're talking about. [laughter] I guess she'll sort of look to the other members of the party and be like, "Back me up here. This is horrible, right?" Cauldron will look at it and furrow his brow and go, "No, no. These are good. We can make these work. These are good. This will work. This will be your thing. This can be your new persona, a messy, frumpy person who wants to join the Fang. You can make this work." I was going for nobility to join the Fang, but I guess that'll work.

Or nobles. Maybe you're so noble you just don't care how you look. [laughter] I don't know how apt the descriptions were of them, but isn't mine just a chainmail bra, or was that just a joke? [laughter] The way I had pictured them, and I guess this is just theater of the mind. I picture portions of it like, okay, picture the old school, like if you're playing Gauntlet, or the old school D&D editions one and two, where it is just any female armor is meant to accentuate the female form, not protect shit. So, Alina's a fighter, so this is fighter's gear, but it's 80s fighter's gear, not...

It's like a bad Halloween costume. Yeah, the last one left after, like the day before Halloween, you're like, "Fuck." I guess I'll be sexy barbarian. Or my personal favorite, Dr. Felter Snatch, which is a true story, that's a real costume, you can go look it up. No, don't look it up, because you're going to get some bad stuff, never mind. [laughter] If you are under 18 and listening to this, stop, don't. Actually, just stop listening. If you're under 18, stop listening. Oh my god, you should not be. Go back to school. See you at Star Wars. As far as Callies, I was picturing more like a tiger stripe, leopard print type of thing, like this...

This says a lot about you, Massey. Well, I picture, okay, like, I picture Braille and sitting down, it's like, "Okay, I'm going to disguise this," but I want it to fit their personality a little bit, so like, this would be like the hyper-exaggerated weirdo, like, it's like, "Okay, well they can't just look like they look, we want to throw them off the scent." But it'd be not a great version of that, like... I threw them off, they're not even using that sense of smell, they're using completely different senses. That's just my interpretation of it, though. *laughs* Oh my gosh.

Braille's gonna say, "Look, they'll work!" Alright, yes, they are a little off, but that's fine, right? I mean, they're not gonna know who you are anyways, it's just like another layer for them to kind of have to peel off, but they won't. It's not gonna get that far. But that's the thing, though, if they don't know who we are, then why are we trying to disguise ourselves? Because if they have a Black Hand operative, or if, you know, one of her goons is there with them, and that goon escapes and knows what you look like, trust me, and when I say this, I'm not exaggerating, they will find out who your loved ones are, everything you hold close to you, and they will hold it for ransom.

He's gonna look at Kaladin, like, "Back me up here." He'll nod. Seriously. These don't really change how we look that much. Can't we just use a fake name? They come with wigs, if it makes you feel any better. Yeah, yeah, thanks. And then we'll go into his pack. Oh yeah, these. Let's shuffle around. Ah, here you go. And throw you a couple of wigs. One of them, I envision, is like the wig from Final Fantasy VII that Cloud wears when he becomes a girl. It's like straw, but there was no other effort made to it. It's just like straw and ties. Is one just an actual mop head?

I just happened to find some dye in their house, and it just dyed a different color. You can, trust me, just, this can be your thing. That we're crazy. Well, yeah, I mean, crazy enough to capture the two of us, right? Crazy enough to live? Crazy enough to die? Braless, not his head. I'm sorry, I honestly don't know what to say. That might be an interesting tactic though. Just be absolutely crazy. Yeah, yeah, that could work. I mean, I could probably pull crazy off. Now you're getting the hang of it, I think. Yes, yes. What will your names be? We'll need some other names for you.

It's gotta be something extremely crazy if we're gonna pull this off, like... Like, tiger claw or something. Yeah. I got it. So, it has the first letter of our names, so it'll be a little bit easier to remember who's who. So, me, Elena, becomes elevator. And then Callie becomes croquet. I love it. And now you're getting it, elevator. Elevator and croquet. That sounds like a really, really bad 70s band, and I love it. And Cauldron is just gonna take a step back and nod his head and be like... Like, look at Braelyn and just be nodding and be like, "This is stupid, but this could work." Braelyn will shrug, he'll shrug, "Well, I mean, we've done worse, right?" Maybe if we just act crazy enough, they don't want to deal with us and then just bring us to their superiors.

Yeah, the crazy line. I think that's the route we gotta take. He's gonna kinda nod his head, look back at the disguises, and kinda back again at his hands like, "What have I done?" Crazy and dangerous. You wanna make them feel like if they don't take you to their four leaders or whatever, they'll be hell to pay. Let me tell you, let me tell you, Elena. The Mountain is not sorry for her storms, and the dragon does not apologize to her prey. You guys just go forward with this, and you make sure that you get us in front of them. And then, I guess, be prepared.

I think it's the best plan we have, so let's do it. Can I ask a really quick question? Of course. Based on the history that I have with Ripley, is there any sort of insight that I could give them as to, "Okay, when you meet up with them, here's some information that could be pertinent?" Sure. So, okay. The things Tatiana would know about Ripley is, one, really fancies himself as a guy who is plugged into everything. He likes to think that he is at least one or two moves ahead. Also fancies himself as quite the ladies' man. He likes to believe that he can talk himself out of a lot of situations.

And of course, this information is a couple of years old, but, I mean, Tatiana would have a pretty good grasp of his personality at this point. So, not really cutthroat and ruthless, at least not a kill on sight type of person. Usually likes to try and use people to see what he can get out of them. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Oh, no. I would just say, so she would definitely probably relay that and just be like, because she won't be able to meet back up with you guys once you start moving. You know, like she's just going to be sort of in the background following along.

So, this seems like the perfect opportunity to bring it up. And she'll just say, "And if and when you guys get there, just be really careful around Ripley." "He has a way with words and just be really careful." I mean, it gets to that point. You got a way with a bow. So, maybe we don't let him talk too much. Yeah? Very true. I'll wait to hear and she'll sort of roll her eyes. Cheese. Finger guns. There you go. You got it. Well, now cheese works because it's something a crazy person would say in conversation. Cannon though, you have to work it into a sentence like a cool sentence.

That's how it goes. You can't just scream. Yeah. Don't just scream cheese. This is a golden opportunity. Cauldron will look to Tatiana and say, "Can Ripley be reasoned with, do you think?" "Would he be, I mean, most people are open to reason when they have a sword at their neck." "But do you think he would be open to relaying our ideas to the Black Hand?" I mean, it would sort of depend on what we have to offer. How about if we corner him somehow? Like, we got him by the end of a sharp stick or a sharp sword for that matter. Like, we have advantage over him.

Do you think that'll work? I'm not really sure. I haven't been on that end of a confrontation with Ripley before. I can just tell you that he'll probably have ideas and ways to get out of any situation we put him in. Alright. Well, I've got a few of those in my family, so I think I might be able to... Well, I'm not supposed to be talking, am I? I'm the prisoner. He's gonna scratch his head. We'll be out of it by then, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're just doing the ruse to get to them, correct? Mm-hmm. And then we break the cuffs, so to speak. What I can do is I can give some inspiration to somebody that will last us ten minutes.

Oh, yes. That's very good. So one of you... Actually, I can do it twice, but you can only have one at a time. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Got it. Mm-hmm. No, that's just me. I have to figure out a voice. They don't know you. Well, do it in the moment. Oh, this isn't gonna go well, guys. It's already not going well. I'm so scared. This is gonna be great. So it is the fifth. Let's say you guys get your rest, you cut your disguises, you put them on in the morning, and you're getting ready to hit the road. You look great. It's just... awesome. I feel like they're probably really itchy.

Oh, yeah, for sure. They're made of wool. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm sorry. Tatiana's parents didn't have the finest silks that I'm used to using in my costumes. Oh, it's a... Also, part of the couch is missing. Sorry, FYI. And Braylin and I have, like, the loose... we've got ropes behind our arms or something that are not really tied. Fake, for the look. Yeah, they're just kinda like looped around. Well, like, where you hold the end of the rope inside your hand or something, so it's not like tied. Yeah. Like, we could bust out. So, okay, let's do a thing. Let's do a thing.

Who tied you up? Who quote-unquote "tied you up"? I don't think Tatiana would know about, like, tie-a-knots and stuff, right? Well, either Lynn or Tatiana. Because I don't think Callie has ever used that kind of stuff in the woods, right? I don't know. No. Like, Tatiana's a thief/rogue, so she's used to using ropes to maybe climb into places she's robbing from. Yeah, let's say it's Tatiana. Tatiana, do me a favor. Give me a Dex check to see how good this looks. Like, how convincing is this? Like, you're knotting them up. Like, the knot obviously has to be kinda tied, because it has to stand up to scrutiny, right?

Right. So, you're gonna just do the best job you can, and it's like, "Okay, here we go. And tied." Now, this is either going to-- Now, let's say you roll really high. This is either going to be a very convincing-looking knot that Braylin and Kaldin could just, like, "Ah!" Like, they could hootie either way out of it. If it's a lower roll-- The lower the roll, the greater the chances are that in the moment when they try to escape, they won't be able to get out. It's too good a knot. Okay. Oh no. Either I'm too good, or I'm too good. Yeah. Should I roll twice?

One for Braylin, one for Kaldin, or one for both of them? I think you should. Yeah, let's start with Braylin. Okay. Nice. That's a 22. Alright. Now let's go with Kaldin. That's not a 22. You can do it with your hands, so that's kind of important. She's still a little beefed that he outed her to her parents. Tatiana, I think these ropes are a little tight around the wrist, just a little-- Oh, oh yeah, sorry, that's my bad. And as she's trying to, like, loosen it, she's gonna, like-- Give it a yank. Give it a little yank, like, "Let me just loosen these for you." So, you're out and about today.

It's a little different than your normal walkabout. You usually wake up in the morning, you stretch, get your food, refill your canteens, make sure everything's ready to go, and then you start your day, you get out on the road. This time, you have to make it look like you're escorting prisoners. So, I would imagine it would be Braylon, Kaldin up front, and then Callie and Elena behind them, and then Tatiana somewhere, somewhere where if things were to-- It's like, "Oh, there they are, I'm gonna go hide." That type of thing. Believe you mean croquet and elevator.

I am sorry. I'm sorry, guys, it's just, I thought they were good for a second. Oh, they are very good. These are great names. ChefKiss. Let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see. I'm going to say... Callie. Do me a favor and roll a flat d20. Remember what I said earlier, guys? You were right. You were right. I think it's better. Oh my god. Wow. Really? Really? I broke Jason. Oh my god, I just got shivers. That was really scary. Oh boy, howdy. Okay, give me one second. You have to leave that entire laugh in. Yeah, please. Show the people who you really are. Oh man. So this is a rare twofer, okay?

Twofer Sutherland. Oh boy, howdy. I'm going to get ready to share a map with you guys. Great. Right away, huh? Not even a... Yeah, this is a rare twofer. I'm going to explain. So you guys are out on the road. I'm going to get ready to go. I'm going to explain. So you guys are out on the road. And... You're going to hear a noise. And it's going to be something that... It kind of creeps up. You don't notice it at first. It's kind of... The background sounds of nature. And by the time you notice it, it's like, "What the hell is that sound?" I would like everybody to do me a favor and roll a perception check.

Fuck you, Dice. Fuck you, Dice. Wow. Oh, classic Braylon's back, everybody. Picking his nose while his hands are tied. This is going so well already. Yeah, it is. Hey, like I said, 10, 11, those... Callie. Yeah. Callie and Callie. I'm so angry right now. I know. Callie and Callie are going to start to notice something. And I imagine you walk into the street, you're talking, you're just like, "Oh, man, these ropes are still a little tight." Still... Boy. Tatiana's real good with those knots. So you're going to be walking along and... You're going to hear a noise that sounds like a low hum.

And it just gets louder and louder. And by the time you realize it, it's like, "Okay, I have to elevate my voice. What the hell is going on?" Kaldin? Callie? Mm-hmm. You're going to be the first two to notice this. Please give me a nature check. Ooh. Callie! Callie's going to know all about this. This is a problem. Let me tell you guys about razor flies. Razor flies? Razor flies. What's that buzzing? So in the early springtime in Theria, there's an insect called the razor fly that spawn. They live for about a week and a half. And they migrate in large packs. And they're pretty nomadic.

They will head from the East Coast to the West Coast. And what they do is they kill things much larger than them with these serrated, jagged wings. So what it is is death by a thousand tiny cuts. So they will swarm something and strip the flesh from the bone. By accident, you will bleed out a lot of the time just because they descend upon you. They don't bite. They don't really have mandibles. But they have these kind of siphon-like mouths that drink blood. So what they do is once they kill you, they will crawl into the cuts that they've left on your skin and lay eggs and thus perpetuate the cycle and move on.

So what you're going to do is you are going to hear a very loud buzzing. And there is never one or two of these razor flies. They come in big packs. They are swarms of razor flies. And you will have just two seconds to realize that you are in trouble. What would you say to the rest of the group? [Growling] [Laughter] And that's what she says. And that's what she says. Canon, Canon, Canon. [Laughter] I mean, can I tell which direction they're coming from? Well, that's the thing. It sounds like it's coming from every direction. Everywhere. There's only one word you need to say, Canon.

You can't hide in the bushes. There's one word. Cheese. [Laughter] Oh, God. Say it like you need it. There's like nothing to do. Oh, my God. Like if they're coming from everywhere, you can't just go hide in the bushes or something like that. I'll give you one action. One action? I want to -- oh, God. How badly is Kaladin complaining about his wrists? [Laughter] He's saying the knots that Tatiana tied are real good knots. These are good knots. All right. Can my action be to help Kaladin out of his knots? And while I'm doing that, tell everyone to just prepare?

So I want to make something clear. Let's say you're in a group. Let's say you're camping. And you've got a friend who, let's say, went to school for map making or cartography, something like that, and they are in charge of the map. It means a lot to them. The group is like, hey, you want to be in charge of navigation? Okay, thank you so much. And they're leading you around. And out of nowhere, you call them out and say, I don't think you know where you're going. That is essentially what you'd be doing by undoing Kaladin's knot right now. Because what you're saying is that Kaladin can't get out of himself, which means Tatiana wasn't good enough to do what she was attempting to do.

I'm just throwing it out there. Which means -- I think in a panic, she don't care. Okay, cool. Just throwing it out there. Okay. So here's the interesting thing. Callie didn't say anything. Nope. Callie is just going to reach forward and just cut into Kaladin's rope here around his wrist and free him. Two seconds later, you are going to be swarmed by these flies. Callie, what are you -- oh. She's not going to be able to see. She's -- everyone do me a favor. Roll initiative. It took mine a really long time. Oh, this is -- wow. Jason, how much does this map cost?

Oh my God. HD. HD? Yeah, look at all these pixels. Nice. Production values. Oh my God. I think it's important to the story even though it means we'll probably die. Do me and Callie have minuses on our health or something? You would have a decrease, AC. Yeah. Mother fucker. Whoops. I don't think there's couch fiber as an option on the armor table. There we go. Fixed it. I'm already wearing leather. How worth can I get? I fixed it. So Elena went from a 16 AC to a 13 AC and Callie went from a 13 AC to a 12. Cool. If you die, I would just like to let you both know I'll write great songs about both of you.

Oh boy. So these flies, you're going to see -- picture you're out on the road, right? And it is a gorgeous -- it's a sunny day. And you're just going to hear this -- it's going to sweep in like a wave out of nowhere, like a lot of white noise. And by the time you notice it, it's Callie springing forward and cutting cauldron free. And seconds later, you are going to see what looks like the air waving almost. It's a cloud of these insects. Picture bloat flies. Picture something like a fat thorax with these big wings that are just sharp. And they kind of bob in the air a bit.

They're not incredibly fast in terms of flight, but there's so many of them. And it's going to almost surround the party as they get to their destination. Braylen, what would Braylen like to do? Well, Braylen's going to bust out the first big magic spell of the day here. Do I want to waste the level? Does he have to bust out of his robes first? I just move my hands out. Tatiana's robe was so high, normally I'd have you roll something and just the odds would be very good. That robe was so high that those are like breakaway stripper clothes. Like that was -- it was just -- it was immaculate.

That's what I was hoping for because it was like above 20, so I was like, it's got to be good. But what's cool about this is, to the party, Callie springs forward and cuts Cauldron out. And then two seconds later, Braylen's like, "Yeah, they work great. I don't know what the problem would be." Okay, I'm going to cast Dissonant Whispers on Razorfly -- Swarm of Razorfly. It's one. Oh my god, it's a swarm. Oh yeah, they're swarms. Okay, this is my first time playing a 5e game where I'm dealing with swarms, by the way. Ooh, you are welcome. Is this like a special thing of rules?

It might be. I don't want to ruin it, but we'll see as they go on. Oh my god, are they going to like multiply, like split in half? We'll have to wait and see. Wow, I can't believe I figured that out by myself. We can only hope. Braylen's going to do the Houdini trick. Bust out the loot and cast Dissonant Whispers. That's a failure. 3d6 psychic damage and must use its reaction immediately to move as far as its speed allows from me. Alright. Ooh, that's 11 damage. 11 damage to the swarm. Very nice start, man. That's good. Yeah, so I'm going to turn to Cauldron and be like, "You're up, buddy." Even though I know it's not his turn.

He's like rubbing his wrists. Swarm of Razorfly's 3 is going to engulf Cauldron. So here's the fun thing about swarms. They can occupy the exact same space as a player, which makes attacking them a little tricky. Fun. So what they're going to do is they're going to attack, let's see here. Rebel wings. The Mosquito Swangimangi. Holy shit, they crit. Oh, god dang it. Wow. Wow. Great googly moogly. What are the odds of that? 1 and 20. Exactly. So let's do damage. Good lord. Oh my god. What the fuck is that? Oh, Nighty Night for Kalding. Oh my god. I think. Damage on a...

Oh, yeah, exactly. Or no, pretty close. Pretty darn close. Pretty darn close. Oh boy. Okay. The problem is that they also... We gotta do the fumble table, the crit table. Alright. Cross your fingers, guys. Something not good. Something not amazing. Oh god. Oh no. These insects are going to... They're going to come on a lot stronger than you would initially figure that these insects could come on. And they're going to swarm. And every time they bump into you... Have you ever been outside and have a moth bump into you or something? And you feel the weight of it, it's like boom, boom, boom.

You can feel it. But imagine thousands of these tiny flies and every time they bump into you, it's like a little nick, a little cut, a little slash. And it's over and over and over and over and over again. In seconds, it feels like Kaldin's skin is just being stripped away. It just feels terrible. And they're going to concentrate on a certain area. And as a result, 15... The target's hand is removed at the wrist. Fuck. Oh my god. So he's like putting... I imagine he's like putting his hands up to sort of like protect himself like you would do if something like comes at you, you know?

Yeah. And so they're like targeting one, let's say the non-dominant one. Well, let's roll because it says that there's a 50/50 chance. Oh good. Okay. Do me a favor, roll a d20. 1 through 10, it'll be your left hand. 11 through 20, it'll be your right hand. So it's your left hand. Left hand. Okay. Is that good, Ian? Well, my right hand, in real life, Ian's right hand is dominant. So I was thinking that would be Kaldin's dominant hand. Okay, so you lost your left one. Yeah, so he's like holding it up and cutting it. And yeah, they just end up like going for that one super strong because it's the one that's way out in front.

And he screams in pain. So they are cutting so deep and so fast that it's like, it's just kind of, it's down to the bone, to the point where it's just hanging off. Like, the sad fact is the hand is useless, but you pretty much have to like step on it and yank to get it to break off the rest of the way. Or use a knife. Or use a knife, yes, I'm sorry. On a side note, I'm literally heartbroken right now. This is messy. Do you want to feel better? That effect, I called it sky walker'd. Oh, that's pretty sweet. No, no, no, no. Tatiana, your turn. I don't even know what to do right now.

How do you attack a swarm of flies? Like, I was looking at my actions. I don't have any cool like effects or magic-ier things. Really, I can just swing my shortsword at them. I guess that's what she'll do because that's kind of all she can do. Okay. That means I have to get close though. Yeah. But I don't think that shooting a bow at them would be any better. That wouldn't make sense. So she will step right up. Oh god, please don't lose a hand. Just swarm off razorflies too. What are the odds that could happen twice? Twice. Oh wow, that'll hit. That's huge. Okay.

Oh yeah. So, okay, here's the bad news. So he is using from the book kind of. Yeah. Because it's a swarm, it's not a solid object, right? If you walk up to a bandit and you stab the bandit in the chest, you're stabbing the bandit in the chest. You're kind of attacking... You're kind of half attacking air, right? You're gonna hit some of these flies because they're chunky, but they have a resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. Magic? Not so much. But, yeah, you're only gonna do half damage. But it's still damage. You're like slashing through a bunch of, like a cloud of bugs.

Yeah. Is there anything else you'd like to do? I have a question. Yes. I want to use my minor action and feel free to say no. Okay. Can I use my minor action to pull out my torch? Huh. I feel like fire is a good thing, right? Fire would be a good thing. And if not, I'll use an action point to do it. We don't have any of those. Oh, we don't? No. Yeah, no minor actions. You have a bonus action, but I don't know if it works like that. I have cunning action as a rogue. What's that mean? You can like move away, I think. I think if you can do something with an object as part of a move, if it's like real simple, like kicking a door or like something.

Yeah. Yeah, like, yeah, I would like pulling out a torch, like at the last second, I'd say yes, not lighting it. Okay. I will definitely pull it out though. Okay. And I'll probably use my next turn to light it if I don't die, you know. That's super smart. That's super good. That's really good. Let's see, swarm of razorflies won. They moved away because they saw Braylin as a threat. That's right. It's my house. No, my last army. They are going to move back. So they're going to be right here adjacent to Braylin. Oh, God. They're going to attack Braylin, let's just all cross our fingers for a low roll.

That's not a low roll. Not low enough. I'm not. I'm going to lose my hand. At least we can be like the no hand bandits if we all lose a hand. Nine damage. We'll ask the three of you to cut yours off so that we can all have like a squad. Solidarity. Yeah. That's cool. These things, again, they're just going to... It's almost like... It's like one sentient mass. So they're going to kind of swarm and just like crawl. Some of them are going to land and like beat their wings and like crawl up Braylin's arms and just like cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. They're like tiny little Ginzu knives all over.

And that's going to do nine damage to Braylin. And Kalvin's already feeling this, but people, you're going to start to feel like moistness, like wet, where like it's these little tiny cuts, but blood is going to be seeping out of them. And some of the flies are going to land on there and start to drink while the other ones are trying to cut. This is bad news. Elena, your turn. I have a question. Sure. Like, how big are the flies? Are they like fly size or are they like... Picture Bumblebee size. Yeah, like Bumblebee size. Okay. It's not too terrible. It means nothing.

I was just wondering. Not too terrible. Look at my goddamn hair. I guess, like, I mean, I have no magic, so... Yeah, it's just going to have to be brute force from you and Tatiana, I think. Yeah. Can... So, can I be next to them? And when they're not all around me and I can still attack them? Sure. Yeah, you don't have to get in the middle of them. Okay. Then I'll go next to Swarm of Razorflies 1. And I will try and slash them with my longsword. Okay. That'll hit. Perfect. So... And I think... I mean, I sort of want your call on it, Jason. I have a feature called Dueling.

And it says, "When you are wielding a melee weapon in one hand and no other weapons, you gain a +2 bonus to damage rolls with that weapon." Yes. But, I don't know, maybe I'm thinking too hard about it, but it says, "You're wielding a melee weapon in one hand," but I feel like especially if, like, this is a swarm and I'm trying to just, like, go through it, I'd be holding it in two hands? Take the +2. Okay. Okay. Bonus to damage rolls. Okay. Yep. Do that. And then... Okay. So, 5, because it is slash damage. Yep. So, Elena's gonna move up and start cutting and, you know, just try and make a nice solid cut.

And it is going to kill off enough of these flies that they're going to dissipate and move on. Nice work. Ooh, busted up the cloud. Oh, nice. Brandon's gonna look at Elena. Oh, thank you. Anything else? No, I don't think so. I don't know if there's anything else I really can do. Hm. Cauldron! Okay. Cauldron is going to let out a pretty good scream at this moment. Seeing his hand dangling off of his left arm. And all of these bugs are around him, but he is going to take his other hand and shoot out, just like irradiate a mist of cold around him for all the bugs.

And they'll have to make a Con save. That they'll fail. They will fail. So then it freezes all of these little bugs into little icicles and they start falling, some of them from the swarm start falling down. Nice. Good. And then can... So they're all on top of me, right? They're in my space. Yes. Would moving, would moving, trying to move out of that cloud provoke opportunity attacks? I'd say yeah. I'd say they're treated like any other mob that you'd be... They would like trying to... Okay, okay, cool. Then he'll just stay right there. Oh boy, howdy. A swarm of razorflies too is going to attack Tatiana.

I just got my nails done. Just want to point that out. I don't know if they're going to respect that. And... Hey, that's going to miss! Callie, your turn. Save us, Callie. Guys, I don't know if you noticed it on me, but I have fire. Ooh! Do you have any healing? Okay, here's the thing is I could heal you or I could get rid of the swarm that could attack you next round and potentially crit you again. That sounds very good. I was going to say plus Braelyn's next. Yeah, I got healing. Alright, so I'm going to use my Produce Flames cantrip and shoot some fire at them.

That'll hit. Okay, good. Okay, okay. That's two damage. But that's two damage that wasn't done a moment ago. That's true. It's all good damage. Okay, that was it. I don't have any bonus stuff. This is like fire and ice all up in the space, right? Yeah. I love it. It's beautiful. Healing Word is a bonus action on Cauldron. So as he's being swarmed or the icicles are falling down, Braelyn's going to take his time and time it as he's bleeding out too. And grab Cauldron's stump. Ah! I'm sorry, this is going to hurt! I have to use Healing Word. 1d4 plus my spellcasting ability modifier.

Ooh, nice. Hey! Max Healing! That's seven. That's my second spell. I'm going to have to use my last spell. This guy right here, because that was a bonus action. This in it whispers. Ah, that would be a failure. Fantastic. Eight damage as I begin to sing Machine Head by Bush. (Sings) So yeah, they're going to move away. 1, 2, 3, 4. They're going to move away. Okay. And then Braelyn's going to start catching him. He's going to look very tired. He's going to have huge beads of sweat. He's like, "I'm out of bullets!" Or in this case, "I'm out of bolts!" Oh, that did damage too, right?

Yeah, eight. That'll be enough to dissipate that swarm, actually. Oh, good. Yay! Oh, thank God. And I'm done. All right, Tatiana. Let's light this shit up. I don't know what I need to do in order to do that. Let's say, okay. Let's say that's a bonus action. So that's a second bonus action, so it's lit up. Now, what I would say is do a normal attack. But for this very specific swarm here, I'm going to say that you would just do regular damage instead of half damage. Because you're technically wielding fire. Okay. Aragon, yeah, from Lord of the Rings. So how do I just do regular attack, like with not a weapon attached?

Just use your regular sword slash. Okay. That'll hit. Yeah. Oh! [laughs] Oh, hold on. Let me do something here. Oh, not quite. Okay. All right, yeah, you took out a big chunk of these insects. Elena. Okay. Time for me to... And you can move diagonally. Mm-hmm. Okay, sorry, I don't remember how board games work. So these were a little board game. So I... [laughter] There's a... Okay. I was joking... When can we meet that NPC? There was a part of me that was personally offended. It's like, "This shit ain't Monopoly, Valerie." [laughter] Okay, so I will say this. Elena's used to kind of like a bulkier, heavier armor.

The bikini mail is actually... There's kind of a lightness to it. It's like, "Ooh, you can kind of feel it." It's like, "Okay, I can move around." It offers no protection whatsoever, but at least I could run a little faster. Okay. So I guess I'll try and slash it again. Okay. That'll hit. Perfect. That will be enough to dissipate the swarm. Yes! Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. That will take you out of combat. Congrats, guys. You're the first party to ever run into razorflies. Oh, God. Never want to do it again. My worst enemy. Okay, Calli wants to immediately turn to Kaladin and check out his wrist.

Can it be salvaged? The wrist? Sure. The hand. Oh, here's the thing. There's big chunks of skin missing from the hand. Okay, so this is sort of hanging off. I'd imagine there's still a few of those flies just clinging, kind of stuck in the blood and drinking. They're just there kind of every once in a while. Just kind of like, "Oh, they're all over that stump." Yeah, they're probably... It's probably one of those things. It's like being covered in leeches, where you have to like... It's like you might even have to disrobe and just make sure you've got all of them because they'll kind of...

They're big, but they kind of squeeze into places that they shouldn't be. So they'll be in between the chinks of your armor and in between everything and just kind of like... They will find a way to get down to bare skin. Calli's definitely going to tell everybody about the human incubator part of this. Mm-hmm. Oh. Like, just check everywhere. All right. Tick-check. First things first. And Kaladin is going to look down at his mangled hand and he's going to try and brush some of these flies off gingerly around the wound and wincing every time. He's just going to be like gritting his teeth through the thing, and he's going to say, "Alayna!

"Alayna! "I need you over here." Alayna will be sort of confused, but rush over to him. And he's going to hold his arm out like steady it. In fact, he'll put it down on the ground and he's like, "I need you to finish this. "Cleanly. "You're strong. "I've seen what you can do with a blade." Oh, so he... But I thought your hand was already off. It's hanging off. Oh, okay. So you want him to do it real nice. "Real nice. "I need you to finish this." Finish this. Alayna will close her eyes. Oh, don't close your eyes. (all laughing) That's not what I meant. Here's how we're going to do this.

No, I didn't finish. That's okay. That's okay. Here's what I'd like Alayna to do. Because Alayna's pretty skilled, what I'd like you to do is roll a flat D20. A 10 or higher, you're going to chop this off. Easy peasy. It's going to be great. Anything 10 or lower to a five, you're going to cut a little higher than you probably should. Five or lower and things are going to get really interesting. Can I come over with the torch just ready to carterize this wound? Good idea. Sure. Before we doubt. Sure. Yeah, Kalden will look over and nod at Tatiana. Okay, she'll come over.

Okay. And is Kalden kneeling, I guess, maybe? Or is he standing up or what? Yeah, he's kneeling in a way that... Yeah, he's kneeling. Okay. He grabs Braelon's hand to hold. Yeah. Okay. He was like, Braelon's really upset. He's visibly upset by this. Like, he's worried. Super worried. Mm-hmm. So she's going to, you know, look at him dead in the eyes and say, "I am so sorry." And she will lift her sword up above her head. Mm-hmm. And then have it come down. Oh! No! Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Maybe she did have her eyes closed. Here's what's going to happen. Alina's going to lift, kind of lift her sword above her head and bring it down.

But at a bad angle. Just a bad angle. And it is going to hack off Kaladin's arm right where the elbow is. And it is going to slice clean through. And then she's going to accidentally cut into his foot. Oh my gosh! What? Jesus. Do I like chop his toes off? No. No, nothing happens to the foot other than some cosmetic damage. But that's going to do two things. One, it's where Kaladin could have just lost at the wrist. It went much higher. He lost half of his arm, essentially. It's also going to do six damage. Okay, so not all the work I did is undone. That's probably still good.

At least he doesn't die from it. Right, exactly. Well, he might pass out. Tatiana is going to, while this is happening, she took out one of her daggers and is heating it up. And immediately, as soon as this happens, she wide eyes at Alina. She's like, "What the fuck, Alina?" And pushes it on Kaladin's wound. Oh my god. So here's the sequence of events. So Kaladin is kind of like, probably biting down on something. It's like, "Oh, just go, go, go, go, go. Just chop it the rest of the way off." Boom. Loses half his arm in a second. Then it's rushed to kind of quarterize this wound.

It is just bleeding profusely. And then Tatiana is going to push a hot blade against it. And Kaladin's going to hear a... And that's going to do two more damage. Okay, so now all the work I've done is undone. That's okay. Kalie's right there. So she's just holding onto his shoulders, and I'll do Cure Wounds on him. Okay, yeah, because I can't heal. I'm out of bullets here. Do me a favor. Kaladin, give me a Constitution save. Oh gosh. Yep, yep. Poor Kaladin. Oh dang, that's going to be on the main, right? Yep. Saves, got it. Okay. Oh god. Oh come on! Kaladin is going to pass out.

This is just too much. With the smell of his own burnt flesh in his nose. Mm-hmm. Korean barbecue, got it. This is... Oh! So this is just... It's hack... And then he's just going to slump back, probably into Kalie's... You know, Kalie had his shoulders just like, ugh, just out. Yeah, I'll catch him. But you're going to heal him. Heal him for seven. Yeah. What would be the party's reaction to all of this? Oh, Braylan is going to be like, fucking pissed. He's going to be like, "What did you do?" And he's like, trying to wake up Kaladin, holding his head. "Kaladin, hey, come on buddy.

Stay with me, man." He's going to be slapping his face, and then he's going to listen to his chest. "Okay, he's fine. He'll be okay." And then he's going to just kind of... You'll see he has some tears, because he was really, really worried. And he's kind of trying to make sure he's comfortable, just patting his head and rubbing it, even though he knows it's not really doing anything. Elaine is going to... As soon as she sees what happens, she's going to just drop her sword, and quickly get up and start backing away with her hands over her mouth, being like, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to. Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Tatiana is probably just spilling out profanities, just being like, "Jesus fucking Christ!" And she's checking to make sure that the wound is fully cauterized, and like tennis looking back and forth, like Elena and Kaladin. Imagine he's on my lap or something, because I got him. So just checking out the arm, making sure it's all cauterized properly, and making sure he's still alive. Yeah, it ain't pretty, but he'll live. It's like the worst pietà. Brelyn's going to look up at Kali, and he's going to say, "Wait, we're going to have to pivot.

We can't go in without him." We're going to have to camp or something, because he's not waking up for a while. No, we've got to find a priest or something. We can't have one-handed Kaladin. No, this can happen. This doesn't happen. He's going to be like in super disbelief. He can't comprehend the entirety of the situation. I don't know if the arm's salvageable. I just thought of something really sick and depressing. Without Kaladin here, it's not like we could put anything on ice. Okay, now that you said that, I was going to say earlier that we can't tie him up anymore.

At least we know he won't be catching any warm ice. Body's still warm, guys. Braelyn's going to look to Tatyana and be like, "What do we do?" She's still in literal shock. I think she'll probably, at this point, when she knows that the wound is fully carterized, she'll probably stand up and walk over towards Elena. Even though Braelyn is talking to her, she has no response as to what the plan should be from here on out. But she's going to walk over to Elena and be like, "Oh, what happened?" Elena's still definitely in shock, just sort of staring at Kaladin and his arm.

She'll say, "I don't know. I just... He wanted me to cut off his hand, and I tried to, and then... I did it too far, and I didn't mean to. I swear, you have to believe me." Tatyana's going to exasperatedly put her hands through her hair like she's trying to think, and she's going to turn away from Elena and look down at Braelyn and be like, "I don't know what to do. This was you and Kaladin's plan. What do we..." Braelyn's going to speak up. "Well, I mean, we can't fight them, that's for sure." "You know, I'm out of the magic stuff, and Kaladin's out for at least a couple days.

We need to take stock. We need to find somewhere to hide, to rest, anything." How close are we to Lockfort, Jason? You're about a day out, maybe a day and a half. Okay. Sort of pacing back and forth. You're right, we have to get somewhere, we have to rest. We have to regroup. We can't do this without him. Oh my God, man, Jesus. We have to head to Lockfort. That's the closest place. And she's going to sort of start to... She's very shaken. She's going to look over at Elena because she's sort of like the strong one. And she's going to say, "You need to get your shit together.

You need to pick him up, and we need to start walking." And she'll pick up Elena's sword and hand it to her. Elena will take it and sheave it and be like... She'll sort of quickly nod and be like, "Okay, okay, I can do that." It's giving her something to focus on. So I guess she'll try and pick him up then? Because he's still completely out, right? Oh yeah, he's dead weight. Pardon the expression. I was going to say, "Don't say that!" You don't say that. Yeah, that's the thing. Kaladin doesn't weigh much, so just give me a STR. Okay, that I can do. You're going to nail it.

You're going to be great. Hey! Okay, yeah. Elena is going to heft Kaladin over her shoulder easily. For those of you who can't see at home, Kaladin just typed in the chat, "Where was that fucking 19?" 19? Same place as my natural 20. Some things are just bad luck, guys. Well, you know what? It wouldn't be group 2/B without bad luck. In the beginning of an arc, right? I feel bad for laughing earlier. That maniacal... I'm sorry, I... That's scary. That honestly scared me. That was the villain laugh that you gave us? You mean that one? Okay, it's not even the thing.

It's like, "Ooh, the foley work we get to do, and I get to describe this stuff." That's what I get excited about. Not hurting you guys. It's never about hurting you guys. So what's the plan? You guys just going? You walking forward? I think that would be the plan. We gotta get them somewhere safe, and we have to rest up. We can't do it outside. Yeah, let's grab all of our shit. Let's frickin' two-time it. We gotta get there, and we gotta get there quick. We can't take a day. But what if we run into those people on the way? -And we're like this. -We're like disguises, right?

We don't... We'll have to dress Kaladin up in something, or like, can we put him in a robe or something so they can't really see? You can tell it's a person, but you can't tell who it is, I think. That's what we need to do. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Let me pull up the map really quick. He's stable, so why don't we camp for the night, and then we can... Hopefully he'll wake up in the morning, and he'll be a little more mobile. Yeah, that's true. And then you still have some heals and stuff, right? -Yeah. -Yeah. And I think you're, as a druid... I know you told us a little bit about your background, but I would have...

Braylon would assume Kali has got some sort of medical training, whether it be from nature itself or from an elder or something. Yeah, I imagine it's like herbs and stuff. Okay, well then he would trust that. I do have an herbalism kit, so... Okay, yeah. Then he would trust Kali. Right now he's clinging to Kali, walking next to her and asking her all these questions and stuff, just to double-check. Yeah. He's alive and he's stable, so I think we should... I think traveling further with him might do him more harm than getting some rest. Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

Find somewhere to camp, I guess? Yeah, I can scout around if you want. Awesome, yeah. So you guys are looking for somewhere off the beaten path, right? Mm-hmm. Kali? Can I... can I... can I... be shaped and run around and be all cute? (laughter) You know what? Let's... Would that help my check? No, but it'd be adorable. Okay. I mean, at least... at the very least it wouldn't attract much attention. Right. For everyone at home, what animal do you change into? Animal Fox. Oh, tight. Whoa, you have one ready already? I just turn into a fox. And I... and I pounce around.

So... I want you to do me a favor and roll a survival check. Okay. Oh, whatever. I'm supposed to be good at that. So Kali is going to change into a fox in front of the group and kind of scamper off, right? And after... after a while, I'd say maybe... maybe an hour, Kali is going to race back to the group and inform... inform them that she's found the perfect spot. (laughter) It's out of the way. There won't be any people there. It should be great. And it's right on the edge of a forest, so it should be... it should be pretty... it should be pretty out of the way and you won't run into the fang there.

Cool. Let's do it. Hmm, I wonder what forest could be nearby. (laughter) Oh, shit. I've always wanted to be a werewolf. There's a lot of truth to cover, guys. It's going to be great. I think I saw like a little stream, so I'll have fresh water. Yep. It'll be great. So hours are going to pass and you're going to get settled into camp here. And it's... it's... it's late afternoon at this point. It's... it's... The sun will be setting in... in an hour or so and it's a little... it's a little early to make camp, but it's... circumstances are kind of dire, right?

I would imagine you got... you got Kaladin... you got Kaladin kind of, you know, resting and... and kind of propped up somewhere nice. Hey, Alex. Yeah. Could you do me a favor? Yes. Wait, wait, before this happens, I need to make it known that when Alaina put Kaladin down, she changed into her real armor. She got out of that stupid fucking disguise. Well, you know, I didn't spend a lot of time making it. Okay. Don't... don't... don't hold back. Normally. (laughter) Normally, I would say... it's like, "Eh, it's a little meta." But after what you guys have just been through, yeah, I think that's a reasonable response.

So you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna put your armor back on. Okay, thank goodness. Calli, I recommend you... you take off. I imagine that it came off when I turned into my beast shape. Okay. Well, actually, there's special rules for that. Well, I would have got down to the buff for that. Okay, I'm gonna... I'm gonna get down to the buff for that. Okay. So you got nude in front of the group. Why not? Okay. One with nature. Okay. Hey, Alex. Yes? If you could just do me the biggest old favor and roll a flat d20 for me? God! Well, thank god I wasn't on the table. Woo hoo!

That's worse! (laughter) No! We are having the worst fucking time! Wow. When I rolled the first time, I felt it wasn't on the table. It was a four. Ah, okay. No. Not our knight. Holy shit! As night settles in over the camp, a fog is going to ever so subtly creep into the... into the base of your feet and up the ankles. Eventually, it's gonna get really thick. It's gonna be tough to kind of see around. The fire... The fire that you guys have made helps. And very close by, you're gonna see the tree line of the forest next to Lockford. I was gonna say, if we're sitting around, does this count as a short rest?

I'd say yeah. It counts as a short rest. Thank god. Good call. (laughter) Alright, let me use my hit die right now. Yeah, 'cause then I get my spell slot back, so... Whoops, whoa, that's great. (laughter) Well, that's a one. You regained one hit point. Oh, yeah, 'cause my con is zero. Yeah. (laughter) Yeah. But I will say... Wait, wait, wait! I have Song of Rest. Oh? Beginning of second level, you can use your soothing music or orientation to help revitalize your wounded allies during a short rest. If you can hear my performance, any friendly creature can hear my performance.

You regain any hit points during the short rest. That creature regains one of these six extra hit points at the end of the rest. And that creature regains the extra hit points only if it spends one or more hit ties at the end of the short rest. So, everyone can benefit from that except for Kaladin. 'Cause he can't hear it. Nope. He's memeing time. But, Kaladin can roll a hit die, and he's gonna roll-- Wow, nine! All right! Your constitution's so high, what the fuck? (laughter) Anybody else wanna... Wanna go ahead? Okay, okay. It's not all that clear. Do I get the D6 or is it everybody else?

Yeah, but wait, hold on. What's the wording? Hold on. If you or any friendly creatures who can hear your performance regain any hit points. Yep. Cool. So, what is this? You. Oh! Jesus Christ! Oh, man, I am on fire today! Why does luck hit you? What happened? I don't know. You know what it is, Jason? Maybe it's good luck's coming later. Yeah, that's all that means. It just means you're due. You guys have had a really tough day. And I would imagine every once in a while you're still gonna find, like, um... It would be dead, but you'd find, like, one of the razor flies just...

You'd bend your arm in a way, or a leg. It's like, "Ooh!" Ooh! And you'd cut yourself on their little wing, and you could... It's like getting a splinter or something like that. It's like, "Ow, you bastard!" And you'd kind of pick it off. So every once in a while, you'd still find one. And you're settled in, and... It just feels nice to get off your feet and get away from danger for a little while, because today has sucked. To put it in perspective, this is... This is, like, the reverse of hitting the lottery for an adventure. You guys are on the main road.

This shouldn't have happened. This type of thing usually happens if you venture off the beaten path. If you're unlucky enough to run into nasty wildlife or something, it's usually not that bad on the main road. This is terrible. Braylin will probably be wherever Calvin's resting. Braylin will be next to him, making sure he's okay. He's sitting down, writing in his journal, or playing music to try and, I guess, calm him. Soothe him. Maybe help him heal a little faster if he can. He doesn't know what to do, so he's just trying whatever he can think of. And that includes just basically sitting down next to him.

I imagine it's just very quiet. The fire's crackling. And fog has this way of changing our perception of things. It kind of makes us pay more attention, because you can't see too far, so it feels like it's heightening your other senses like hearing. So every bump and shift that happens, it kind of accentuates it. And after a while, you kind of get used to the odd squirrel or bird or something like that. But every one of you are going to hear a sound that is most distinctly not a bird or a squirrel. What it sounds like is a log snapping in half. And it's coming from just north of you.

It sounds like it's coming from the treeline, and you guys are pretty damn close to the treeline. What would everyone like to do? Do we have tents or no? Normally, I picture it as bedrolls and a fire and stuff. Like a kind of a sleeping under the stars. Okay. That's what I was thinking too. Okay. Braelyn takes her shortsword out slowly and looks around the party. Does it sound big? Oh, yeah, this sounded dumb. At this stage, it could be a couple of things. It could be just a tree fell over or something like that. But the weather's clear, so it wasn't lightning or thunder.

And it wasn't... The odds of it just being like, yeah, a tree just fell over. It's probably not... The odds are probably that it's something large. Can I use my Produce Flames cantrip to put out the fire? Yeah, sure. Okay. Did that. Fire's gone. Okay. So, Braelyn's going to stand up and start to draw his shortsword very slowly. And Calli's first reaction is going to be snuff the fire. So, there's going to be a flicker as the fire dies out. And then, boom. I would imagine everyone's eyes are going to have to start adjusting because it is going to be pitch black.

And then that fog is going to envelop the rest of the campsite. And then I imagine a stillness as everyone just sort of holds their breath and waits to see if that sound rears up again. And this time, still north of you but definitely closer, you're going to hear the snapping of branches and twigs. And you're going to hear what sounds like stomping, something rhythmic. Boom. Boom. Boom. And then they're going to hear it stop. Boom. Boom. Stop. What would the party like to do? I would like to pee my pants, please. Somebody needs to pick up Kalvin. Do you want me to pick him up?

Or do you want me to, like, if we need to fight so I could fight? Or do you think we should just run, like, no matter what? Yeah, we probably-- I think Tatiana's first instinct would be to run. Yeah, we don't have enough time to discuss it anyways. Like, we would all just be looking at each other. I think Breland would start to pick up Kalvin a little bit, like, with the sword in one hand and kind of, like, try and fireman carry it. But then he realizes this is not going to work, so he looks at Elena. Okay, then yeah. She'll pick him up. Tatiana's just sort of, like, very quietly, like, picking up, like, the important things.

Anything that's not important she will leave behind. But, like, her weapons and stuff she'll grab and, you know, her sack or whatever. And very-- as quiet as she can to make whatever this is, not hear them, she'll, like, sort of move her arm. Like, we have got to get out of here. Let's go. Um, Jason, I have dark vision. Can I see anything? So the problem is you're not just dealing with the dark, you're dealing with the fog. So under normal circumstances, yes. Under these circumstances, you're just as blind as everyone else. There's, like, no fig, like, outlines, maybe.

Here's what I'm going to let you do. Do me a favor, roll perception. Okay. Okay. Callie's going to concentrate very carefully and firstly, listen. And that sound is definitely getting closer, but there's going to be a very distinct sound that is accompanying all the bass and stomping and smashing. And it's-- it's the sound of nostrils flaring as something in that fog is sniffing at the air. And it's not quite close enough to make out in the fog visually. But if Callie had to guess, it's probably only about 40 or 50 yards away. Okay. I'm going to start, like, motioning.

Like, let's-- let's move away. And, like, just pointing in the opposite direction. Should we make, like, a train, sort of? Because, like, you're the only one who can see well? Yeah, we can do that. So I'll sit next to you, Callie. Like, Braylin would-- like, as Elena picks up Carlton, Braylin would stick with Call-- with Kelly and be-- basically, like, help her because he's the other-- like, we're both magic, so I think we should be, like, the back. So he's, like, go up to her and, like, nod. Like, we got this-- he's going to pull his instrument very carefully, put the sword away first.

Do me a favor, Elena, roll a STR. Okay. I was like, "Oh, that's me." This time, with some effort, Elena is going to pick up Carlton, probably just because it's been a long day. But Elena is going to pick up Carlton, hoist him up on Elena's shoulder. Now, how quickly are you getting out of here? Is this more of a running, or you're just trying to, like, just move at a brisk pace but sneak? Yeah, I think we try to outpace it. Outpace whatever it is, but, like, still try and remain as quiet as possible. Mm-hmm. SEAL Team 6 stuff. Okay. Okay. Well, here's the thing.

You're only as stealthy as your least stealthy member. Oh, no. Elena. Uh-huh? Do me a favor, roll a stealth check with disadvantage. Disadvantage? Oh, man, not even, like, a minus. No. Is it Cairne and Kaladin? Yep. Okay. It's a combination of things. You put the armor back on, it's just not, yeah. Oh. Look at that. They're both great rolls. Look at that. That's amazing. You guys redo. You guys redo. Okay. I was holding my breath there for a second. So what's gonna happen is the team is just going to, the fire gets snuffed out, you guys are almost silently communicating with each other, almost as if you guys just understand the situation immediately.

It's like, okay, okay. You're gonna gently hoist up Kaladin, and you're gonna start to march away from this campground. And you're gonna start to march south. The problem is you guys are pretty damn far away from the main road, but you could at least get away from this area. And you guys are gonna get away from the area a bit. I'd say you'd probably make it, you know, 10, 15 yards out, right, to the south. You're definitely, you've left your little campground, and you're like, okay, okay. And then you're gonna hear that stomping again. But this time it's faster.

And what it sounds like is it is coming toward you. Definitively. Oh, I can't run. Brandon's gonna look at Callie, very worried, and say how much juice he got left. I'm good. He's gonna look down at his instrument, kinda nod, look back at Elena carrying Kaladin, and then tell the group, like, this thing's gonna outrun us, we don't have a choice. Can... do I have time to do something? Depends on what that is. Okay, well, my Druidcraft lets me create a faint odor of an animal. Uh huh. So I was wondering if I could do that, but away from us. Does it say that it produces the smell away from you?

It says a range of 30 feet. Well, to put it in perspective, the 30 feet isn't very far away. Right. Just to let you know that that's six spaces in game. So, in real life, that's probably... you could throw something at somebody in that distance easily. It's not very far away. I was thinking that maybe if there was a smell there, maybe it might veer off, thinking it went in... I think if you do it in our opposite direction and we keep moving. Yeah. Or you make one of us smell like it and hopefully the other person can hide from it. How long does the scent last?

It just says it's instantaneous. That doesn't have a duration? It's a cantrip. So you can turn it off, theoretically. Uh huh. Would the range mean it stays only within 30 feet? Or if somebody has a 30 feet on there and they take it? It's a 30 foot cube and then I'm assuming that it stays in place. Oh. Maybe we could leave it and run. Yeah. I mean 30 feet is 10 yards. Uh huh. We established it as probably a briar troll, right? Or maybe something big. It's something big. Or it's around that size. I don't know what it is. Yeah, it's around that size. How far away is it?

Because I know it was like 30 yards before, but is it closer now? Yeah, it's getting closer. Well, you're just kind of guessing. It's just getting closer. Sure. But I mean, that's still 10 yards away. Which isn't too bad, I don't think. That's where the shot... throwing it behind us and then keep moving and see what happens. Yeah. I'll do this. Do me a favor. Roll a nature check for me. Okay. [Laughter] Damn it. You're night tonight. Oh my god. That's a crit. I'm gonna kill myself now. No! Don't do that. No, you have a baby. Yeah. Don't leave the baby. Okay. So Callie's gonna start racking her brain because there is...

There are scents that would either mask the scent of you guys and maybe make it smell like something different, which could either attract an animal, discourage an animal, or just make it kind of like, "Oh, whatever. I thought I caught a whiff of something delicious. This is just another whatever. I don't care." The problem is Callie can't narrow it down very much in her head. It's too many things. It could be this, it could be this, it could be this. I don't know. So here's what I'm gonna give you the option of. Without getting into specifics, I want you to choose a number one through six.

Now here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna roll a die. And if it comes up the number that you guess, it's gonna lose interest. Okay. You are literally playing Russian roulette. Does that sound fair? Sure. Okay. Choose a number. Five. Everyone at home, five is the number we're looking for on this D6. Are you ready? No. Here we go. That's a two, everybody at home. So Callie is going to choose a scent and just try and coat the area. It's like, "Okay, let's go." And you're gonna continue to hear that stomping, and it's not going to stop. Now you, as a team, have a very simple choice to make.

Fight or flight. I mean, we're gonna run, right? We can't fight this thing. It's flight. It's flight. Yeah, we gotta go. We have Kaladin. We can't. We can try. No, we can't. No, there's no way. We got Alina, or sorry, Callie is the only one with juice left. I'm running on cantrips. There's no way we'd do enough damage to whatever this thing is. I'm saying we run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we run. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's make this sporting. [sigh] This thing is only gonna chase you so far away from its home turf, and then it's just gonna go, "Okay, yeah, there's a reason whatever this is isn't venturing too far outside the forest, right?" So here's what we're gonna do.

I'm gonna have each one of you run a check. And it's a relatively attainable check. I want each one of you to roll a dexterity check. Everybody except for Alina. Oh, good. Mm-hmm. Alina's gonna roll a dex check with a disadvantage. Not great. It's not gonna go well twice in a row. Tatyana, it'll be an honor to die with you. Oh, it did go well twice in a row. [laughter] So after Callie drops this scent, and it's become apparent that this stomping is just, it's getting faster, it is running towards you, whatever this is, you guys are going to take off. All illusions of being stealthy or sneaking away have dropped away, and the party bursts into a sprint to the south. [sigh] Callie, Alina are both going to be doing pretty well in terms of sprinting.

Braylin and Tatyana are going to start to lag behind. It's been a really long day, and they just don't have that much more to give. Braylin, Tatyana, do me a favor, roll a perception. [sigh] Them dice, man. They are not forgiving. Braylin's going to feel, feel the ground shake beneath him. It's almost bad enough that it almost throws off the rhythm of your running. It almost shakes you up. And you're both going to hear this bellow from behind you, this huge roar. And you're going to feel something strike the ground behind you. [explosion] But just miss as you pull ahead.

And if Braylin turns, it's up to you whether Braylin would turn his head back to see what that was, or just keep running. Ha ha ha! Keep running! No, not going to look behind me. [laughter] Good choice, good choice. So here's what's going to happen, guys. This thing is already swung and missed. It's chasing you just outside of its, just outside of its, of its home turf. So I'm going to let one of you roll a saving throw. On a ten or higher, it's going to lose interest and head back. On anything below a ten, it's going to continue this chase. Now, Tatiana.

Oh, come on! I was going to say, "Jamie, you do it." [laughter] Do me a favor, roll a flat D20. Okay, but I'm not going to look when I do it. Okay. I'm just going to listen to you guys' reaction. It's okay. I wanted to make a new character anyways. [laughter] Dang it, man. That's a two. It's like the second worst number. Oh my god. Holy shit. So much for making it to Episode 6. Oh yeah, right? We were just talking about it before the game. Holy crap. For those of you at home, I rolled a flat D20 to see how much faster this thing is going to dig in and just kind of give chase.

I rolled a 20. It is going to miss and then dig deep and just sprint forward to try and catch Brailin and Tatiana. It is going to knock both of them down. I would say that Elena and Callie, both of you roll a Perception check, please. I don't know what I would prefer. If I would prefer we know or not know. Good. I don't know. Callie is going to hear the commotion from behind in the fog, and it is going to sound like armor, even though it's leather, clattering and weapons. It sounds like someone fell down. You're going to hear that bellow. You're going to hear it roar.

At this point I think Tatiana would even yell, "Fuck!" Because there's nothing to hide from now. It's all up to you. I want to I guess I'm going to turn around and... Oh, God, what is this? Can I tell what it is now? Brailin and Tatiana are going to hit the ground, and I would imagine at this point you're kind of faced with... You're just going to turn around. I think instinct would just take over and see. Hovering above them, standing about five feet away now, is a massive briar troll. Fuck. All right. Callie's going to turn to Elena and just be like, "We got to help them." I guess put Khaldun down and let's go get them.

And she'll sprint back to help Tatiana and Brailin. Callie stopped as soon as she noticed, but Elena didn't. So she sort of kept running a few steps and then stopped when she realized Callie wasn't still going. She hears what Callie says to her. She puts Khaldun down right where he is, so he's sort of far away, and then she'll go running towards Callie and she'll take out her sword. All the jostling and shaking has a chance of waking Khaldun up. Khaldun, do me a favor, roll a con save on a 13 or higher, you're going to wake up. Thirteen. Gee zum crow. I'm back, baby!

Praise the gods. So you were just dying to bring this before... No! Not at all! There have been many trips to the Silver Glades since then, I will remind you. That is true. Okay. Everyone do me a favor, roll initiative. Let's kick things off with Tatiana. Tatiana, you are going to be on the ground in front of this troll. It is going to let out another bellow, and this is kind of blood curdling. It's like a bassy shriek. Kind of a wraithy scream. And this thing is going to tower above both you and Brelyn. What would you like to do? Well, Tatiana is going to stand up.

And probably be petrified looking up at this drier troll. And... She's going to run. Okay. Now you used half your movement to stand up. Yes, she has cunning action, which means I get a bonus action. And it says that I can take a dash. Oh yeah. So when you use dash, you have extra distance this turn equal to your current speed after applying any modifiers. So basically, take half of your speed and put that on top of your regular speed. So, nine. Okay. Brelyn, your turn. Samezies, I'm going to get up, so that's half my movement speed and then I will dash. Right?

So that's half my speed, that's half of 25, 24, so 12. Always round down. Okay, yeah. 10 on top of that would be 35, 5 by 5, 6. So that'd be 7 squares. 7, 7, sorry. Math is easy, guys. Math is dumb. I'm doing it one by one for dramatic effect. Yeah, do go one by one. So, Alana and Callie are going to be running toward Brelyn and Tatiana. And out of the fog in the opposite direction, Brelyn and Tatiana are going to pass Callie and Alana. Yep. And Brelyn will be running by and he'll say, "Run!" He's not even going to stop. Alana, your turn. Okay, so, you know, Alana was running, stopped, put Kaladin down, started running back, and took her sword out, by the way.

Then, she sees Tatiana and Brelyn running back, so she'll stop again, put her sword away, because she realizes that they're just running. And, I mean, I guess what she would do is run toward Kaladin to go and pick him up again. Yeah, because she doesn't know that he's awake. So I'll do that. Okay. So you are going to find that Kaladin is awake. Alana, what's going on? We have to get out of here right now. Can you walk? Can you run? I think so, and he tries to stand up a little bit. And he's a little shaky, but he looks at her and he's like, "I can run. I can run." Okay, cool.

Let's go then. Kaladin, let's test that theory. Your turn. Okay, shoot. So there's fog, right? Is there anything? Can he see anything? At this distance, are you asking if you can see the troll? Yeah, basically. I mean, I'm assuming I can see maybe Brelyn and Kali coming. Yeah, I'd say the troll would be difficult. Then, yeah, Kaladin is just going to start running with Alana as fast as his little hoofies can take him. Briar Troll's turn. Briar Troll is going to move his speed. He is going to break out into a sprint. And here's the sequence of events. So, Kali, Alana are going to move toward Brelyn and Tatiana.

Tatiana and Brelyn are going to pass them in the fog. Before Kali can turn around, out of the fog is this lumbering bone covered... It's got these bony petrusions just streaking through the fog. And it is going to run up to Kali and target her. Cool. It is going to claw at her. That is going to hit. Nine damage. Okay. Kali, your turn. How you looking, Kali? I'm... okay-ish. Alright, I'm going to try to entangle it, because why not? So, Kali is going to raise her arms and all these vines and stuff are going to come out of the ground and the area around. Let's hope and pray, guys.

Oh, it's going to roll a one, ladies and gentlemen. That is a failure. Oh, on the save! Yes! So it's entangled. I just jizzed all over the place. Oh, you got there. You finished. I finished. Finally. It is restrained and it has to use its action to make a strength save against it. So, I'm going to run away. Get out of there. Here's the thing. No! He still gets an opportunity attack. Even if he's restrained? Even if he's restrained. He can attack, but he has a disadvantage. Alright. So, everything is in your favor, right? You're going to get ready and move away as long as he doesn't hit you.

And then as long as he doesn't do enough damage to down you, you're fine. Here we go. Get that disadvantage button ready. Here we go. Yes! That's going to miss. Oh my god. Second time. Okay, bye Felicia. We don't get to see the other one it rolled. Only what it failed on. Well, it says it dropped 12. Yeah, it dropped the 12, which would have hit. I imagine it smashes real close to you. Like, boom! I'm going to pee myself a little bit. So he's got these really wide hands. And at the end of these hands are these unkept nails, kind of claw-like. And it's going to slam into the ground and pull back because he was sure he was going to have you.

And the dirt around Callie's feet is just going to raise up a bit as he claws and tries to pull you back. Callie's going to get the hell out of there. Tatiana, your turn. I'm running. Any action that I can use right now is running. Move action, run. Action, standard action, run. My dash, run. Just get me the fuck out of here. So, let's see. Tatiana would be off the map. That would bring up Braylin. Full dash, for sure. Okay. Alina? I am running. So that brings up the Briar Troll. Firstly, the Briar Troll is going to try and get out of the Restraint here, which is a Strength check, right?

Yeah, Strength save. Okay. He rolled a one on his Strength save. So he's still Restrained. He is back there, and you're just going to hear this thing scream and shriek as the fog closes in behind you and you get the fuck out of there. That is going to take you out of combat. Nature magic, mama, thank you. Holy crap. Who said earlier that our bad rolls were because we were going to have good fortune later? Yeah, I think we just cashed in. Yeah. Still, I mean, we have a lot of losses. An arm? That's true. Oh yeah, that's right. Oh, hi there, Stormageddon's back.

I got a little kitty, though. Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the day. Yeah. Just a quick clarification. Is it us running through the fog? Is this the last thing? Yeah. That's cool. That's a cool ending for the game of Thrones. It's you getting the hell out of dodge and just running. Kaladin is up. Obviously, there's been some not-so-lucky bits today. Yeah, we've gotten some of that blurry, high-pitched whine, like saving private Ryan. Like running in Kaladin's point of view, it's like, "Beeeee!" and he's opening his eyes and he's like, "We gotta run, Elena!" And he's like, "Okay, okay, okay." Like running through the fog.

Boy, we really hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. We're so happy to catch up with Group B. I know they're having a bit of a hard time right now, but hopefully that all straightens out in the next episode. If you liked the show today and you want to help support us, obviously there's a ton of ways to do that. Like us on iTunes and like us on Facebook at facebook.com/dungeonsandrandomness, all spelled out. Of course, we have a Patreon. That's how we keep the lights on. That's how we do what we do. If you go to patreon.com/dandr, there is tons of stuff there that you can listen to.

If you're all caught up in the show and you want some extra content, there's a lot of cool stuff happening on Patreon right now. And of course, this coming Friday, Friday the 25th of August, we're going to be doing extended rest. That's at 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific. What we do is we sit down with a bunch of different people from the cast. It's an ever-changing panel. This time it's going to be a little Group B stacked, but we are going to be talking about the entire month of August. Basically, everything that's happened in DNR storyline for the month of August is going to be gone over.

We have a live thing that we do on Twitch, and you can find links to it on our Twitter, our Facebook. We definitely talk about it the day of a lot, and we hope to see you guys there. So again, thank you guys for all of your support, for listening, for spreading the word, sharing it with your friends on Facebook, on Twitter. Thank you so much. We can't wait to see you for extended rest this coming Friday on the 25th. And of course, if you're going to Dragon Con, please walk up to us, shake our hands. We can't wait to meet you. Thank you guys, we'll see you next time. .