Heat and Sand

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(CLINKING) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators. Rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This episode of Dungeons and Randomness is brought to you by Easy Roller Dice. Guys, we have been talking about Easy Roller Dice for a few weeks here, and I think you all know how awesome we think they are. They've sent our whole crew a bunch of merchandise.

We have tried them ourselves, and we know these are just the pinnacle of D&D merchandise. They feel great when you roll them. They look brilliant. They're in these beautiful cases. It's just, it's all wonderful. We should be posting something soon that we recorded at Dragon Con, where we were actually rolling these dice in person while we played a game. It was fantastic, and we talked about how great the dice were as we were playing. That's how cool they are. They also have these really awesome dice trays that look great. They just had a Kickstarter for those.

And they have a Twitter, so if you go to @easyrollordice on Twitter, you can follow them. I'm sure they post a lot of sales and all their new merchandise. Go give them a follow. If you don't have the time right now or the money right now to buy something from them, you might in the future, and you want to keep these guys on your radar. So, without further ado, please enjoy the episode. Let's do that thing! We're going around the table to introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, starting with Mac. Hi, I'm Mac, and I play Kaluna Volgheris, the Wilding Druid.

And Zac. What's up? I'm Zac, and I play Avrilann Bates, the Human Fighter. And Jane. Hi, I'm Jane. I play Epheni the Gnome-Bard. And Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna, and I play Klara Urath-Dael, the Drow Fighter. And Jasper. Hey, this is Jasper. I play Maric, Uthered, Human Cleric. And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa, and I play Elorath Beestinger, the Halfling Barbarian. Oh boy. Okay, today's gonna be big. Do you know why today's gonna be big, guys? No. Oh, that's easy. Couldn't guess it. Well, there are certain things on the show that we just don't get a chance to get to, right? There's stuff that gets glazed over, or people just, um, nothing takes them there.

We don't go there, so it's just stuff that gets skipped over. It has been four years since anyone's traveled through the Wastes, or even- That's true. Yeah, no one's gone there. Four years of real world time. Wow. Beyond that. Oh, real world. Real world time. I didn't think about that. Yeah, four years, guys. 2013, I believe, was the last time anybody's gone there. You guys were so cool. We're bringing it back. Moreover, it's been a huge time for change in Onakol, and I'm hoping you guys get a chance to see it. We'll see if we get there. We'll see if you get there.

Now, the journey from Whitehedge to Onakol is going to be a difficult one, right? Whitehedge sits fairly close to the border of something called the Wastes, which is this huge desert expanse. Obviously, you have to travel south to get to Onakol, and that's near the Razormaul Mountains. So there's a lot of stuff that you've probably just never encountered because it's not really a danger in much more hospitable areas, like journeying from Wachford to Brightport, anything like that. You probably just wouldn't see this kind of stuff. So my question to you is, is there anything you would like to do before leaving Whitehedge and traveling south?

We already talked to somebody about being a guide, and he just kind of basically gave us information, right? Essentially gave you some tips, some pointers here and there, which may prove helpful. Charles Tully was the gentleman's name. He's been retired now for a couple of years, just kind of got out of the game. Oh yeah, it was the guy from the cart. Okay, this is going to sound like a silly question. I'm just going to go ahead and ask it anyway. Okay. So in Theria, I'm assuming Whiteheads has something like an apothecary or something like that. Do they have something that's kind of like hand sanitizer?

I just cover all of our bases. Ham sanitizer. This hand is filthy. Well, you know what? I'm not sharing it with you. Wait, I just pieced this together. Is this because you're near Elrath? Yeah. Wow. Okay. She doesn't want to catch me. Okay, I'm going to a con in two weeks, and if you don't think I'm putting hand sanitizer on every time I shake someone's hand, I don't care if they're offended. Well, there's a couple of differences. Yeah, she's confirmed to have a plague. Well, okay, let's put it this way. This is more of a fantasy setting. Obviously, cleanliness is not exactly the chief priority among people in this world.

Look, if you're living in town and stuff, you basically just don't want to smell. No one wants to be a smelly guy. So you take baths or showers or something like that when you can, but as far as cleaning your hands, it would be really tough to have OCD in this world when it comes to washing hands. On top of that, if there was something that would just generally clean your hands, something like that, I imagine there's something that could help with basic infections, something like a bomb, something like that created from plants. It's not going to stave off whatever.

It's not going to stave off sloth fever. Right. Okay, I was just checking. I wasn't sure how far Theria was in the whole, like, we wash our hands after like pooping before we make our food or if they were like... I would say it's somewhere in the middle, right? It's not the hardcore black plague fantasy thing of just like, I'm going to spit in my hand and then rub your hair and all this weird shit. But... Like they boil water before they drink it. Yeah, there's basic stuff. They don't have the polio vaccine. We probably all have, right. We probably all have pleads.

Right. And I... There. The other thing is... The sad fact is there's a little bit of, there's a little bit of that Christian science type of thing where it's like, I'm sure the gods will provide like that. A little bit of that mentality, kind of like an undercurrent of that combined with actual like healing remedies and potions, that type of thing. So it's somewhere in the middle. It depends on your belief structure. Now... Your best bet is just to stay away. Stay as far away as possible. Well, here's the thing. If Clara was the type of person to believe a certain mixture of plants or something like that would stave this off, that's one thing because it's kind of based on your belief structure.

Right. Okay. There's one that was during the plague. There was one where it was like, oh, if you smell nice, like it's the smell of death. That's Ring Around the Rosie. That's what that was based on. Yeah. Does that exist in Theria? I mean, yeah, there's, I mean, people have like flowers and we've established before that there are perfumes and colognes and stuff like that from mixtures of stuff. I will smell lovely as my skin falls off. I imagine Clara already has a perfume. You were going to smell fantastic. I bet Clara smells like musty and pine trees. Like it's a weird combination of both.

I was going to say sandalwood. Ah! She's just going to spray that on her mask. Okay. Okay. I figured it was worth a shot. Just a little something. Yeah. Did we like, I forget, did we stay overnight or did we just talk to that dude and then go, okay, we're leaving? If memory serves, you were staying the night just because you got to sleep sometime, that type of thing. If memory serves. So I was going to start things the next morning. Yeah. Kaluna would want to talk to Merrick real quick now that there's finally some semblance of privacy. Right. Because we've been on the road this whole time.

True. The way it was pitched before where you were dropping, you were dropping everybody off. But I believe, I believe after the fact, something someone mentioned, it's like we might want to sleep, get a good night's sleep before trekking into the desert. Because I believe I laid that decision on you right after. Yeah. So, yeah. Merrick and Kaluna. Bring it. Oh, no, I hate being the first one to do roleplay. And I keep putting myself in this position. So I imagine that it's the typical situation where like Kaluna and Merrick like shared a room because they're bros.

So, I don't know. Would you rather this be in the morning or at night? You choose. Let's crash. And then in early in the morning, like Merrick's going to probably wake up and do his meditation thing like really super early before the sun's up. And I would imagine like Kaluna would, whenever he's finished with that stuff, would probably jump right in. Yep, absolutely. So, as soon as Merrick's done, Kaluna would like wait like half a second and then be like, so, uh, you mentioned back when we first picked you up. You mentioned that you were stressed again.

You okay? And they're definitely giving him a look that's like more than like, are you okay? It's like, are you, are you okay? Do I need to be worried? I know what you're saying. Things have been fine. The restaurant, you know, it comes and goes and I get, you know, I kind of let it out. It's kind of like a safety valve to kind of boss everybody around. I mean, that's the thing about being a chef is you can kind of do that and people kind of forgive you. At least they stuck around for long enough, but I know what you're asking and it feels different. There's been a couple of moments where it's kind of like the old days.

So when Merrick was talking about like how he takes out his stress on other people at the restaurant, Kaluna kind of started smiling fondly like, oh, okay. Okay. He doesn't know what we're talking about. So this, this means everything's fine. But then as soon as he's like, no, no, I hear you. And Kaluna's like, ah, shit. And they're going to look very, they're going to try and school their features to kind of look like, okay, this is fine. But you can probably tell that they're freaking out a little bit. So they're going to go. So it's back. Merrick is going to.

Sort of drop his shoulders and look down and kind of just do a big sigh. And he's not going to look at Kaluna in the eyes, but he's going to say. I. Promise I'll talk about it, but I don't want to talk about it right now. And then he's going to take his silver dagger that he's had. Forever and ever and ever. And he's just going to kind of pull it out of its sheath or off, off of his belt and do the little flip thing where instead of holding out the blade, he sort of flips it around to hold out the handle. Yeah, the handle. And he just hands it over to Kaluna without saying anything else.

I don't want to talk about it, but he hands over the dagger. And he's going to take a deep breath and they'll pull out the dagger that they have to do and just also just same flip thing and just exchange. So that way Merrick isn't daggerless. And as they're as they're sheathing the dagger, they're just taking another deep breath. And again, they're like schooling their features again. But I think they do a better job this time where they look. Their face goes like kind of almost cold. And they're going to say it's it's going to be fine. We've dealt with it before.

It'll be fine. We we wish you would have told us. But it's going to be OK. It's not a secret from you. And you know that it's there just hasn't been any time. And you were like, yeah. I kind of hoped I could push it away. Maybe I had some new strength, some new endurance. Maybe I kind of just wanted it to be gone and I kind of wanted to ignore it. It's not a secret from you. So don't ever think that, OK? But it may be best to keep it kind of just between you and me for now. Right. Just like the good old days, huh? Just like the good old days. Scene. And scene. Anybody else want to do anything?

All right. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to get ready and leave the small town of Whitehenge. And let's pick things up on the 19th of yes. You guys know the drill by now, who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat D20 to see how your journey is going to going to go for the next couple of days? I'll do it. All right, Zach, love it. Hit me. First dice roll of the night, everybody. Here we go. No pressure, Zach. But everything relies on you. Hey, seven. Nice. Do I have a roll? Well, come on. Thank you, Zach. You're welcome. Just, you know. Yes, thank you.

They don't come cheap. So, you know, that's why you make the big bucks. Your payments in the mail. It's a pretty cool. A pickle. Excuse you. It's a box of pickles. I'm not sure if you have a pickle in there. There you go. So you guys are going to get on the road. You're rested. I mean, you're as relaxed as you can get. And things are going to go very smoothly. It's really sunny out, almost blindingly so in some areas, and it's going to get a little worse when you get to a point here. You're heading south directly. Now, there's a road that leads south, but that's going to start transitioning into from from a really grassy.

You'll you'll see meadows and swaying fields of tall grass or weeds and farmland. And then as you trek south for miles, that's going to start to go away. And it's a little more barren. It's a little more empty. And then that's going to keep transitioning. And after a while, there's no road anymore. You're going to get to a point where there is no distinguishable pathway. And it's just it's just sand. It's just it starts to transition like little patches of grass and such. And then sand. Now, before you venture into the wastes. Who would like to do me a favor and roll a nature check?

Who is who would be the guide? Who would be the person that the party would look to? And it's like, I guess I know the most about this. I'll lead us through. Oh, no. Well, it's it's a desert, so I don't think Adeline would know much at all about desert terrain. Oh, boy. Apparently, it's Kula. It's got to be. All right. Do me a favor. Oh, no. Hmm. That's fitting. That's way more than a zero. That's Kula does not come from the desert, obviously. Pretty much the opposite. So that's an appropriate role. Here's the obvious stuff. Normally throughout the day, the standard adventure drinks about a gallon of water.

You guys are constantly on the move. You're walking everywhere. You eat about a pound of food a day, too. And that that just comes from you burn way more calories than the average person. The problem is in the desert, while you aren't going to need more food necessarily, you are going to double your water consumption. Now, up until now, I've just been taking care of that for you behind the scenes. It's nothing I wanted to bog down the the adventure with, considering most paths eventually lead to like a little stream or river or something like that. You can refill canteens.

Everything's fine. That is not going to be the case in the wastes and things are going to get complex. Yeah. Can I make an argument? Hit me. Like just to sort of figure out, like, here's the optimum amount of water that we should drink to make sure that we stay alive and like that sort of stuff. Would that be survival? To roll and find out? Because, listen, Mac doesn't know the right amount of water. And if it's going if it's going to be in our hands, I'd like a safety net. OK, I'm just a little. What are you trying to find out with a roll? Just like how to ration things out to keep us alive and like in case of worst case scenario, like we I don't know, we take too long to get there.

We'll still have enough water. Right. OK, so like like like, oh, you might want to you might want to not drink so much right now. Keep it for later. Kind of a. Right. Do me a favor. Roll a survival check. I'll give you I'll give you some more in-depth details. Well, that's not too bad. That's not bad. So here's the basic gist of it, right? It should take you guys almost four days to get from Whitehead to own a call. Now, that's barring. That's barring any weather, weather setbacks, anything like that. You guys are traveling through the desert in a cart. It's it's a little we don't know yet.

We're going to see. But worst case scenario, it takes you a couple extra days or a few days extra. That could be a bit of an issue. I'm already guessing you're taking a little extra water since you're doubling your rations. You'd probably take double the amount of water that you'd normally take for for a few days out. Considering you have a cart, you can actually store a few jugs of water on the cart with you. Of course, it's going to weigh more and stuff. But yeah. Now. Again, like I said, two gallons a day for each one of you is the optimal amount. You can drink less than that, but every day you do that, you're probably going to suffer a level of exhaustion.

You need that much. Your body needs that. That is the bare minimum. Two gallons a day to get you through the desert. The hot, beating sun on you. Wide open, no shade all the time. So we'd have to carry two gallons of water each on the wagon in a day's worth of supplies. Right. So, OK, you know that big ass pack you carry on your back? Yep. One of the things you usually have is just a canteen. And the regular assumption is that there's just like if you were hiking around in nature, there's streams and there's all kinds of stuff everywhere. So while you guys are marching, it's just normally assumed it's like, hold on, we're setting up for a short rest.

I'm going to go refill my canteen in the desert. There's no place to do that. So whatever water you bring with you is pretty much what you're bringing with you. Now, could we roll to find like a hidden mirage, oasis or something? I mean, there's always the chance of that because there is water in the desert. Like beautiful elves and whatnot. Ah, the elven desert orgy. Yes. Oh, and now we have our episode title. So, yeah, that's that's a major concern. Now, on top of that, with your with your nature check, Kaluna would know that there are things in the desert to look out for.

The problem is Kaluna wouldn't know exactly what they are or where they are. They would have heard, obviously, their tales about, you know, giant insects and worms. Blue dragons obviously come from the desert and what they like to do is hide beneath the sand and they feel vibrations above them and they will just reach out and snap upward. Cool. No problem. Yeah. And for those of you listening at home, I'm sure the first thing people are going to be is jumping up and down about is spells like Goodberry and Create Water. We should clarify on that that no one in the call is being stupid.

No. Yeah, until there is a reason we need to clarify. It is being mentioned in the chat. I need to mention for everybody at home. This is why we remove spells like that. So that travel is a bit of a hazard, depending on where you go. Not impossible, just a hazard. Is everyone ready to keep going? Let's do it. Yep. All right. So what I've done is it wasn't specifically mentioned in White Hedge, but what I what there there would be a there'd be a few jugs of water in the carts on top of what you normally would bring. So I'll let you know when you start getting low and yeah, it'll take you it'll it'll take you a couple of days in easy.

So the first day is going to wrap up beautifully and and that's pretty much going to get you to where the wastes really begin right now. You're basically going to have to camp. Kaluna. Do me a favor. Roll a survival check. All right. That's that's a 16 for everybody at home. So Kaluna is going to look for a spot here and every once in a while you'll find a couple of rocks. You'll you'll it's very spotty out there and most of it is just dunes as far as the eye can see. It is so easy to get turned around and lost out here. The one cool thing is that there is a coastline that is a it's kind of a sheer cliff.

And what what some people do is you kind of get driven to the brink of madness because you're in this desert, but you can look and just miles to to the east is an ocean. But there's there's a sheer drop off a cliff to get to the the wet rocks beneath where you could even get to some water. So there have been people who have just went mad in the desert, needed water and plunged off this cliff just to try and survive the fall. So, yeah, it is an ocean. It's salt water. OK, so that would just make us sick anyway. Yeah, it's just it's it's just you don't think about that when you think, oh, there's water.

At least I can get cool. At least you just don't. Yeah. Listen, Jason, some of us are gamblers. All right. You just got to go for it. Well, there's ways you could treat saltwater to drink it. You can boil it and like you could separate, you know, like that. There are things. OK. Is that a thing? Is it not a thing? No, no. Oh, well, I'm misinformed. I wouldn't remove this. The only way to remove it is like reverse osmosis. Really? OK, there's like there's ways online, but most of them involve like plastic wrap and shit. Yeah. We have we I should just trust Lisa. That's her job.

That's what I was thinking. I don't know. I was trying to help. And then I was like, wait, that's like I started correcting Jasper on like volcanoes or something. Like, I'm pretty sure they have lava in them. Let's just chalk that up to one of the many things I don't know in this world. This very, you know, what? Validation plants. Jason, it's OK. I also I also thought of the boiling water thing. I'm glad we've learned today because otherwise I would have tried that someday. Maybe guys and don't drink saltwater. Lisa, are you aware of the evaporation distilling?

This method? Yeah. Can we get something like that up with all the still? Do we have a still with somebody, a brewer for all that moonshine you guys have been making? And you just actually just drink the steam will just. Well, you know what? And I swear to I swear to you, this is not a penalty. I need you to roll an endurance save. Who? Hello, Ralph. Oh, yeah, that'll show you. I need you to roll a con save because we're going to get ready and see how this disease is progressing. Is it just a flat con save? Any bonuses or anything or? Just just flat. No, no way.

You've been in the car. So like, here's the thing. This is the last day. Man, I hate to do this. This is the last time that that's going to come in handy because now the hot sun is going to be up. Yeah. So this is the last time. OK, so give me that con. Give me that con save. Roll high. So just a flat con save. Sorry. Flat con? Plus one. Sorry. OK. No, sorry. Plus one. Oh, no. Oh, that's fine. That's great. This is going to be fine. Totally great. I was trying to save it with like that was an endurance. That was Constitution. There is no endurance. No, that's that's what I just said while I was typing up that silly thing about boiling water.

Well, that's a four for everybody at home. Do me a favor. Roll one more. What's going to be happening to you visually? Well, hi. I don't want to look at you. Dude, that is so. Here we go. There we go. I look fantastic. I look. I just feel bad. I feel like that's not a good thing, though. Like I feel great. You're going to fall over, you know, like we can't. There's no visual. It's not accurate anymore. Like you're going to. It's better for me. It's better for me. She looks like the pretty the pretty lady in every Tim Burton movie. Yeah. Like she she doesn't look healthy.

Here's the thing. But she looks beautiful like Joanna. Right. Do you know that the gorgeous, pale like countess who's like, ah, dab away just a drop of blood from the corner of their mouth. Internally, their organs are liquefying like it's it's all terrible. OK, so here's what's going to happen. Oh, boy. On the way. Holy Lord. I need to write some things down once again. Should have never chimed in. No, you would have forgotten I was here. We would have made it all the way to own a car. Don't worry. He has it written down. Yeah. I was like, that's unfair. Oh, that lip.

You know, some people, some people took that seriously. This thing about Jasper's like that strike to like really someone wrote in. It's like, I don't think it's fair that you punish players. It's like Jesus Christ. Do they need to listen to the high the scenes more because Jasper's a dick? Yeah. The sweetest dick in the world. Oh, thanks. Chocolate flavor. I get that a lot. Oh, just a caramel dick. Speaking of sweet dicks. So, wow. Quickles. OK. Dickles. Oh, no. Go. You guys. You guys. Everyone shut up. I'm so not editing this. I actually think it will be your turn.

No, it is. I'm doing the group A. I'll do the group B. So you guys are going to have a lovely first day on the road. You know, just just sunny kind of a breeze coming in off from the east. And the first night you stop. Elarath is going to uncontrollably start coughing to the point of vomiting. And there will be just a touch of blood in there. Just uncontrollably. Like, it'll be hard for her to catch her breath. And this will go on for minutes and minutes. Just it'll be one of those things where she breathes in and you can hear kind of like a liquid, like a rattle.

And it is probably very apparent to the group that she's getting worse. But she looks gorgeous. Her hair's amazing. She's got a glow about her. She looks fine. Once she wipes the vomit off, it's like, oh, wow. I love that lipstick. Yeah, it's like a she's all that moment. Elarath just takes her glasses off. She's walking down the steps from the cart. So, yeah, that's it's obviously getting worse. As a result, we're going to add a level of exhaustion to Elarath. Oh, no. Now, this isn't too bad at first. Essentially, you're just going to get a disadvantage on all ability checks.

Unfortunately. That could come up sooner rather than later. You never know. But it's it's just the thing. The best you could do is just keep getting rest. Just just hope for the best. How would everyone react to this, by the way? I've already been imagining Merrick watching this happening and feeling very, very torn because he would want to go over and help. Right. Like just comfort, you know, like I got you. It's OK. But I think he would also not be paralyzed because if he went closed, it could end up being that he and then anybody else could get right back to it.

So it's like like he would I think he would his face would be contorted in like serious pain. Like I want to help you. But I don't think he would say anything. I think he'd be embarrassed. I think she'd be trying to like if when the vomiting did happen, I think she would try to like lean over the cart and like throw an arm behind her to make sure like nobody. Because like she's super worried about getting everybody else sick. Like she hates every part of this, but she would hate it more if somebody else were like to get it from her. So she's like throwing up and coughing over the side of like the cart with like an arm behind her, like, don't touch me.

I think as soon as like all that mess started, like I imagine when the coughs first started, Kaluna would have been like, OK, she's got, you know, whatever. It was bound to happen. But then as it gets progressively worse, Kaluna would have been like, oh, and kind of like scooted away a little bit. Not like even trying to be subtle, just sort of like, let me just get away from this. Thank you. And then I think once Elorath was done, they'd give her as wide a berth as they could to like loop around to the other side of the cart and sort of like try to toss sand onto the vomit from like a distance.

OK, I know we're trying to move away from the whole like Kaluna as an animal thing, but I imagine kicking. I know I shouldn't. I imagine little doggy kicks. This is fair, though, because Kaluna has huge legs. They are so long. They're probably like the strongest limbs they have. God knows. They do. I imagine the whole time that Elorath is feeling sick, Clara is actually going out of her way to like kind of not acknowledge it. Like in my experience, the best friend is the one who doesn't make a big deal about these kind of things. It's kind of like, oh, I'm just going to look and like figure out which direction we're headed in, like see how high the sun is, all of that.

And then when Elorath is finished, kind of pass Elorath her water. I imagine we all drinking from different water things and just. Are you all right? No. All right, I'll be OK. Poor sweet baby. Like she doesn't want to talk a whole lot because she's afraid of coughing again. Right. Clara will help her get back into the cart and kind of just make sure she's settled before they start moving again, because the only thing that can help is getting Elorath help. Yeah, Evelyn is horrified, basically. He's he's seen danger before, but it's always been in a form of an organism, at least.

So having something that he can't it's not even magic, right. To where like magic, it'll at least have a flashy effect. This is all happening inside her body and her body. He doesn't know what's going on. So he's just he's not a healer. He's not a you know, he doesn't know what to do. You can't fight anything. So he's just he's just hanging back. But it says his his his sense of urgency is like gone up to a 10 once he's when he's heard all like the rattles inside of her. That's that's what really gets him because he doesn't know what's going on inside. Like, how could you, you know?

Yeah. She'd probably use like just the tiniest portion of water because she doesn't want to waste it, but like just to rinse her mouth out just a little bit and then try and take a sip because she doesn't want to drink too much on a stomach that just threw up. But, you know, she needs some water because otherwise she'll get super dehydrated if she's just throwing it back up. Well, the good news is that's one day down and everything's looking great so far. I mean, most things are looking pretty great so far as far as travel on the outside, on the outside.

They look ready for picture day. I'm just saying. All right. So nighttime is going to set in. You guys have set up camp. You're you're doing all that. You taking care of Ella at the best you can. This is the first time sleeping under the stars in in the desert here. It's kind of the cusp of the desert, but you're still there and it's going to get it's going to get a little chilly at night. It's complete opposite of what's going on during the day. And it's a little weird to set up your bed rolls in the sand because it's it's almost cushy. It's it's it's almost because when you're when you're set up on solid ground, if you're sitting on a lump or something like that or like a rock, you got to it's like, gosh, I got to get up and fix this rock, this type of thing in the sand.

You roll over. It's like, oh, it almost it almost cradles almost temperpedic. It's and you guys are going to get to the next day here. It is the 20th. The 20th of yes. Now, here's where things are going to start getting a little more difficult because Alaras condition is advancing. I am now going to be asking for a check every single day. Instead of every two days. No. OK, that's fair, I guess I don't like it. Oh, so right now. No, no. Do you want to start or at the end of every day, the end of every day? Ha. We're going to make it we're going to make it, you know, sporting.

We're going to. So you guys are going to get on the road here, so to speak, and this cart. This cart is having a tough time with the sand. It definitely was not meant for travel in the sand. The wheels are a little too narrow. There's a bunch of weight on it now because you guys aren't rolling in dough. So what I pictured, what you did was kind of set up like like a barrel of water on the back of your cart. And every time your your water skin gets empty, which is probably around twice a day, you dunk it in your refill it. Right now, you've eaten into just just a little bit of it.

Your your water skins got empty. You dunk them in a couple of times and you kind of almost a quarter of it is gone. But the problem is it's not great water, right? Like it's it's a hot wooden barrel of water. It's not it does not taste great because I imagine you guys are mostly used to drinking from fresh streams and moving bodies of water. This is just a this is just a kind of a barrel full of hot, old, old water. And it tastes like barrel. It's just not great. It looks like tea, but it tastes like barrel. Yes. Is there any chance? I'm just a lick of treat.

Tastes that teak flavor. Is there any chance this water would be unsafe? It's definitely you probably got it from town is what I imagine. You probably got it from Whitehead. Load it up. It's OK. We need a barrel that, you know, a couple of gold and you're all set. It's definitely not unsafe. It's more. Yeah, so I imagine this is crappy wooden lids on top of it just to kind of keep the elements off of it and keep like insects out of it and stuff like that. So it's bare minimum of safety. Oh, fun fact. If we did get water from the ocean and somebody could make electricity, you could put an electrical current through that water and you would generate chlorine gas, which would then disinfect it for us.

You're welcome. It's a lengthy journey. Water? Or I could purify food and drink. Well, fuck you. I like the electricity one better. Yeah, I know it's electricity. It's electric. It's electric. Boogie woogie woogie. Yes. Here's what we're going to do. OK, I just I just rolled for a thing. So your second day on path here to own a call, your head and south. Oh, boy. OK. The sky is going to start to start to get dark. And the wind is going to start picking up here and there just in kind of sharp gusts where you're traveling along, you got your you got your old horse pulling this cart.

And every once in a while, someone's going to get out and just like, OK, we're stuck again. We got to like lift up on this side and kind of keep going. And it's it's slow going, right? It's not it's not great at this pace. It may add another day of travel. Oh, no, it's not great, but the only other option you have is to get out and walk, which isn't great for Elorath. And you can't just leave a horse in the middle of the I mean, you could take the horse with you, I suppose. But so I don't know. I don't think we named him yet. So I was just going to make that joke.

We're not. Well done. Well done, sir. We just put Elorath on the horse. You could put Elorath on the horse. You absolutely could. But then we had to like carry the barrel if we ditched the cart. We don't have a choice. I don't know. Evelyn carried a bear medallion for a while. He could do it. He's got quads of steel. Gonna do me a favor. Roll a nature check. But you gotta. I don't wanna. That's a whole ten. That's a whole ten boys. That is the first time I've ever heard you say boys in that tone. It's like, "Boys?" You're always so confident when you say it. And this time you sound like you're about to cry.

Oh, see, you haven't you haven't heard me play Overwatch with Mids and Kelsey. It's just constantly panicked boys. Weather is weather is something that obviously every adventure has to look out for. There are nasty thunderstorms. If you're traveling up north, it's snow, sleet, hail, that type of thing. Obviously, wind can be a concern in certain places. Take the wastes, for example, because when you combine heavy winds and a storm with the desert, what you get is the sandstorm. Darude sandstorm? I was gonna make the same joke. Oh my god. We're all the worst.

Yep. Here's what we're gonna do. Oh boy. I want one of you to roll a flat D10. Sorry, a D20 is a nice bet. I'll do it. Go ahead, Elrath. Why not? You're due. You said D10, correct? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. That's an eight. Nice. That's a B. Yep. That is how many hours this sandstorm is going to last. Oh god, I knew it. Damn it. Oh, I knew it. I thought so too. You sound so happy. That's so not cool. Want to correct me on how water works again, Lisa? I will. I will if you want. I love you though. Please just hell with himself. I got you. Gotta remind you whose podcast this is, One Way or Another.

Oh my god. This is Therian Water. Right. Done now. Jesus Christ. Okay. So do you have blankets? Well, you got bedrolls and stuff. And I would imagine that... Boy, your packs. Okay. So here's what's going to happen. This is going to sweep in and it's only going to take a few minutes for you. Like there's going to be kind of sharp gusts of wind heading toward... It's kind of right to your face. And it is going to pick up some sand every once in a while and just kind of sting. It's like, "Ow, shit." And it's only going to take a few minutes before you guys realize, "Oh, this is getting worse.

This is going to stop." Is this like three hours in or like five minutes? It's like five minutes because it doesn't start where it's just like, "And you're all blind and this is a thing." What it starts out as is just a heavy gust every once in a while. Then it'll kind of die down, but there's a slight breeze, then heavy gust. Then it's just heavy gust, heavy gust, heavy gust. Until eventually, you guys are realizing, "I got to turn my head away from this to get a breath of air. This is not good." And the sand is going to start to get everywhere. And yeah, the mask Clara is wearing is going to come in pretty handy because this wind is going to kick up and get really nasty.

It's like sometimes it's going to gust almost to the point of blowing you back. Like, this is getting nasty. So the first hour in is just horrendous for you guys because none of you are used to traveling like this. It's going to slow you down to a crawl. So first off, let's see how bad visibility is, right? This is essentially how nasty this wind is. How much sand is this kicking up? So let's see. Efony, do me a favor. Roll a flat D10. Hey, okay. So that's eight. So essentially, you're only going to be able to see about, let's see. You're only going to see about 40 feet in front of you.

That's not a whole hell of a lot. So imagine this is going to be... You're traveling and you could see forever, basically, like expanses of dunes. I imagine you're just looking for a city on the horizon or whatever. And of course, the ocean is going to be miles to your east, but it's also huge and expansive, so you could see that. And then all of a sudden, you can't see more than 40 feet in any direction. It's just sand everywhere. Half the time you're squinting, the entire party is going to take two damage. Now. Now. And every hour that you're exposed to this?

Oh, no. No. What? What time of day are we getting closer to the end of the day? You're right around noon. Okay. Oh, good. So eight hours of two damage would probably kill most of us. Yeah. Okay. It could be a thing. There are some things we could do. Like I mentioned blankets. If we put blankets over our heads, that would help with the breathing. Is the breeze coming from one direction in particular, or is it kind of like an all around type of deal? It's kind of an all around type of deal. It's like being caught in a regular storm outside where it'll blow this way and that way and just kind of...

Yeah. That makes sense. Okay. I feel like realistically, Clara would only let that go on for like an hour or two before it's like, we need to hunker down, get inside the cart and just try to wait this out. I agree. Do we have like a feed bag or something we could put over the horses? I think you have to tie in a blanket over it. Yeah. There we go. Or yeah, or like a towel or a shirt or something. There's nothing that calms horses down like covering their heads. Really, it's just really calming. Relaxing. Let's just knock out the horse for a couple of hours. Well, here's the...

Get some pen and drill. Two things. Let's break this down. One, the way the cart was described is kind of a flatbed truck. Yep. Oh. Right. We could flip it. Well, that's what I was going to say is what I've been wanting to do is unhook it from the horse, put it on its side in such a way that we're making a lean to and use blankets and whatever else, whatever canvas or anything else we have to create something where we can all huddle in together basically. That's what I was wondering about the directionality of the wind. Because I was like if we could just put up and form like a wind block.

Well, I mean we might have to just like cover around with blankets and whatever else we can and... Listen, I don't want to be that guy but we're about to be huddling together with the robotic plague over here. She'll wrap herself, thank you. Like eight hours. She won't expect you guys to suffer with her. Aww. We don't have a choice. Like everybody's got to get in but we're just going to have to make it be that... I don't know. It's a small wagon. Merrick will be, he'll sort of be as close to her as, and keep her from everybody else basically. She would probably just like burrito up and like try to sit as far away from you guys.

Like not to be offensive to you guys but like she's well aware of how gross she feels. And so she doesn't want anybody to touch her and then get that. Hmm. So this is interesting. Let's explore this. Okay. So... Explore the space. Let's just... Okay. Okay, so your plan is to unhook the horse from this cart so that you could then take the cart that is basically like a flatbed truck I imagine. It's basically just a flat cart that you kind of have this water barrel on and then you're going to flip it over and just try and provide some shelter for you guys, right?

Yeah. We're going to take... We can use the barrel as part of the... Like to prop it up. Yeah, something to prop it up. Yeah, we want to keep the sand out of the water. Right, because I imagine it has like little guard rails which people could lean on and stuff like that. So that'll help keep it like you're not supporting it with your skulls or something like that where you're just hunkered, you know. So it's not crushing you or anything like that. So okay, now let's see how long this might take. I would imagine with everyone working together, survival. Okay, good.

You know what? No, I'm just... I'm fucking around. I like it though. Let's work with that. So... I would imagine... I'm concerned with that eight, yeah. No, no. It's a 13. We're going to operate under the assumption that the entire crew is working together, right? A couple of people are going to be needed to get this barrel, which by the way... Oh boy, let's roll for something here. Okay, so some sand has gotten into this barrel because again, there's only a little wooden thing on top of it and sand is getting everywhere, right? It's slipping in between the cracks of your armor.

It's chafey and uncomfortable and just coated in sand. It kind of blends with the sweat that's all over your body from just being in the hot sun all day long. It's an uncomfortable shitty way to be. So you're all going to work together to sort of get this horse uncoupled from the cart and then work together, get this barrel so that it's not going to tip over or fall. You can't lose that water. You're going to try to get ready and move this barrel so that the cart will rest on top of that. Who would be moving the barrel? I will move the barrel. Definitely.

Are you getting assistance from anyone? Avalon will... Yeah, haul over Clara. Yeah, I'm strong. Okay. I'm 15 strong. Okay, so Clara is going to assist Avalon in moving this barrel. So what I'd like you to do, Avalon, is make a strength check with advantage. And as long as you get an 11 or higher, everything will be fine. Oh no. I'm not losing this water. Yay. Wow. Perfect. Gorgeous. That's a 20. So Avalon and Clara are going to help move this barrel with ease. Everything's fine. I'm going to run it in the sand, give it a couple of twists so it really gets into that sand, and try to hold this lid down and then move the cart so that it leans against that lid so that you're not going to lose anything and you can all hunker down.

Now, this isn't a perfect situation, obviously, but it is large enough that it's going to block a majority of the sand from everyone. I imagine Elrath has hunkered principally, just keeping her out of the elements. I could be wrong. Yeah. That's it. And she's trying to keep the elements of her from everybody else. Aww. The horse. Obviously, the horse can't be under here with you. Aww. Is the horse... did you tie the horse back to the cart? Or is the horse free range? I figured, like, Kelowna was holding onto it until we figured out what to do. Yeah. And at the risk of sounding like it's sort of revisionist, I honestly don't feel like we would have just let the horse go.

I didn't think so. I think it would have been very much like... because the horse could just wander for 40 feet and get lost. Yeah. Right? So I think we're keeping all that in mind for everybody. Okay. So let's say the horse is tied to the cart so that it's not just going to wander away. The cart's heavy enough that the horse isn't just going to run off. It's probably going to look at it like, "Oh, I've been lashed to something." The problem is the horse is still exposed to this storm, and we will be making checks every hour to see how the horse is doing.

But we did do the whole, like, blanket over its head, tied on by rope thing, right? Yeah. To make sure it can breathe. Yeah, we're doing something to keep it as best from the elements from its head. Yeah. Okay. Did you wanna... I'm just gonna throw this out there. If this is something Kelowna would do, would Kelowna want to try to kind of hold it nearby and calm it during the storm? Because a storm will freak a horse out. Yeah, I imagine Kelowna's like... Laura has no animal anything, so... Yeah, I imagine Kelowna sitting as close as they can to the horse and trying to help it out as much as they can.

Mm-hmm. You know, just like, if it spooks or something, they just, you know, the horse thing, the *whoosh* and just, like, petting it. Even if Kelowna has to, like, get buffeted somewhat to do so, they're gonna do whatever it takes to take care of this horse. Okay. That seems in character. Like, I don't think that's meta. No. So, like, "Kelowna likes unicorns and horses and murdering elves." Not all the animals. And hates elves. I mean, we haven't addressed this. We need to work through that, by the way. Mm-hmm. Yeah, gotta get... You need to stop pissing in my sleeping bag.

It's actually really annoying. God, that would smell really weird. Okay. Oh, boy. So, here's what we're gonna do. A couple hours are gonna pass here, and this is unpleasant, to say the least. Because, to the party, you wouldn't have any idea how long this is gonna stretch out. You have no idea. So, it's just, after two hours of being trapped under this cart and just, you know, sand just, like, swirling everywhere, every once in a while, kind of kick up underneath the cart, and it's like, "Okay, wow." Two hours of that? I would imagine, at a certain point, you're like, "What if this goes on all day and night?

What the hell do we do? Like, what do we... We can't..." You know, there's obviously... There's gotta be a worry about Elorath being stuck here. Like, there's no forward progress being made. I just honestly could not imagine what a conversation in that wagon would consist of, you know? Right. What do we talk about? Yeah, I feel like it would be... We can't even do the weather bullshit, you know? Yeah. Lovely weather we're having, huh? Shrieking over the... What? Lovely weather we're having! Alright. Let's discuss this horse situation. So the horse is still exposed to this sandstorm here, and sandstorms are nasty business.

Now, the horse, obviously, wouldn't be taking as much damage as you guys, because you kind of have bare skin. They have a slightly tougher hide. So every couple of hours, I'd be doing a check instead of every hour, like you guys. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna roll a D4 to see how much damage the horse would be taking. One damage! Nice. Good job, Kaluna. Thank you. Keep it a nice and calm. I will take 100% credit for the horse being sturdy. Well, if it were upset, it would start kicking and hurting itself. Well, that's what we're about to test. Kaluna...

Oh, shit. Did you think that this was just gonna be a gimme? No, but I'm still gonna say, "Aw, shit." Yeah. I would like you to make an animal handling check. Now, the more damage this horse takes, the harder these checks are gonna get. But right now, since it's just a storm, and obviously it's an animal, you can't reason with an animal. There's a fucking bag over its head. I want you to roll an animal handling check, and as long as you get a 13 or higher, you're good. Oh, that's optimistic. Oh, boy. Mm-hmm. Sounds about right. That's an 8. Hey, horse, calm the fuck down over there.

So again, this horse has no idea what's going on. You don't put a bag over a horse's head most of the time. The most you have is blinders and stuff. So this horse is just panicky, it's just being stung by sand, and it's gonna start to pull and just kind of like... you're gonna hear it just make all kinds of noise. Every once in a while it's gonna slam its body into the cart, like trying to negotiate. Like, okay, if I can't pull away, can I get closer, push this thing? It's gonna start to panic. You can feel it. I have a question, Jason. Yes? Is there anything that Kaluna could do that would help with these checks?

Like, could they? I don't know. See, here's the thing. Under normal circumstances, you might be able to make an argument, but you're in the middle of a storm and there's a bag over it. See, all the negative things... See, I could think of like one thing, which is like maybe stand next to it and sort of lean against it, like some solidarity. Might help. It's up to you. Fuck it, why not, right? Okay. I can heal myself if I get too low. So Kaluna's going to leave. Oh, so let me ask this. So would Kaluna pitch this to the rest of the group? It's like, I think I'm going to go out there, guys.

It's going to get worse. Is that a thing that would happen? Oh, I don't. I think Kaluna might like glance over at Merrick, just like, or maybe at everyone else, because I imagine it's really noticeable when the horse is like freaking the fuck out. Right. I think Kaluna would just look over, make eye contact with as many of them as they could, and then just get up and go over and just sort of lightly hug the horse. Just sort of just give it context. So it's like, you're not alone here. I am also suffering. We're good. So this would be Kaluna kind of crawling out from underneath this cart and going out to stand with the horse.

Two more hours are going to pass by. Here's what we're going to do. This is for Kaluna. Four and so a total of six damage to Kaluna. Jesus. That horse is looking at you like, are you all right? And this is for the horse. Four damage to the horse. You rolled a two after my four? Excuse you. No, you've been out there for two hours. Oh, OK. Yeah. OK. Nobody cheated you, Ike. No, I just I thought that the four was the cumulative for the two. Oh yes. No. So this horse is it is helping a little bit that you're standing next to it. So what I'd like you to do is roll an animal handling check with a plus one.

And as long as you get a twelve or higher, everything's fine. Before I roll this, this is not me trying to wiggle out at anything. How is the horse looking like fucking scared, like very scared. I mean, like, does it look like it's going to fall over soon? Like, oh, it's not looking great. It's it's definitely it's essentially. The horse isn't going to take too much more of this. I'll put it that way. OK, so Kaluna is going to use a little I think healing word. You can just do they have to understand you if you use healing word? I can't remember. I wouldn't say so.

OK, so, yeah, Kaluna is going to use a healing word on the horse. OK. Just like a little. It's OK. It's fine. We're going to get through this. OK. And I guess I just do this for. So, OK, you're you're going to heal the last couple hours worth of damage to this horse and the horse is going to get it back. And that's going to kind of soothe the horse a little bit, because what you could see is like little you could see abrasions on the horses, like hide like bits of like fur, kind of like bits of its coat kind of missing. And just like it's it's being like not to be gross, but it's being stripped away.

It's being sandblasted, essentially. And it's it's an extremely unpleasant experience. Kaluna is experiencing it right now. Yeah. Kaluna at least has the benefit of I don't know, it's wood instead of skin. OK, so animal handling. Animal handling with a plus one. Twelve or higher is the number we're looking for. Thirteen. You did it boys. So this horse is going to calm down a little bit, but it's it's it's a combination of the healing and just Kaluna being right there. It's OK. It's OK. It's OK. Because this horse could be freaking out right now. And that would cause a new set of problems.

A couple more hours is going to buy. So if you keep in score at home, that is a total of seven hours in this storm. Jesus. Seven hours, six of which have been trapped under this cart. I got to ask, what would would you guys be talking? What would you what would the conversation be turning to at this point? See, that's that's the thing. I imagine we wouldn't say much because, you know, you ever worry about something and it's kind of on your mind. It is kind of like that, you know, you just this the storm. Everybody just sitting here. I don't want to be over.

I almost feel like Clara would kind of try to get conversations going, just kind of asking, like leading questions like where you grow up, like things like that, just to keep everybody chatting for that exact reason where she knows everyone's just going to be worrying and upset. And so it's kind of like just a distraction tactic. Let me ask a question. Who would who would Clara start with? Probably Avalon, like of the group besides Elrath. I guess Avalon's probably the one she's closest to you because they lift all the heavy things together. That's right.

Yeah, that's the whole conversation is you lift heavy things. Cool. Me too. I bet I could lift a heavier thing. We'll test that later. But yeah, it would probably just be innocuous if she sees that morale is down right as it would be in this specific situation. I feel like would just be a thing of so where were you before I met you guys like things like that little leading questions. Maybe like how did you and Efani meet, things like that. So Avalon right now he's kind of doing that 1000 miles stare out just like it's where you like, are we is this car like are we completely closed where we can't see anything outside.

No, we can still see outside right? Yeah, because it's think of think of the car being propped up at almost a 45 degree angle. Okay. Against this barrel because it's the only thing you could position it position against so you're blocked from a lot of the sand but not all of it. It's just it's a thoroughly unpleasant experience. I was doing a thing where like you know you're like watching a TV show you're just like enamored with it he's doing that with the storm. And when Clara asked asked him questions he he spaces out for a little bit because he's just waiting for the second this thing is over.

And stuff like that that's what he's thinking about like this is just taking longer and longer, and like our water supply is going down he's he's he's slowly going into survival mode and you can kind of tell like the bravado he puts up to where like he didn't have conversations that's slowly starting to fade. He's, he's slowly getting more feral in like mindset but he's he's trying to hold conversations he's trying. And I think that might be a part of why Clara starts to do that because. She wouldn't make it a secret she used to be a soldier so she's kind of used to being in like tight quarters with a bunch of people with a bunch of different personalities so maybe it's a thing where she kind of sees that that's going that way and tries to initiate conversation and stuff.

Would you like us to roleplay that out or should we just skip over it. No, I mean, I, that's what I was. That's basically what I was asking for because you guys haven't been in a situation yet where you've really gotten a chance to know each other deep down. Right. So maybe it's the thing like Avalon's kind of staring forward, his eyes are getting a little bit more feral looking like kind of darting around and shit like that. Yeah, he's he was and he was never trained in like that official way so he's he's wearing it on his sleeve. Right. So Clara will see that and kind of cough into her hand a little bit not like I'm sick but kind of like a.

So, um, where are you and F any from. And she's going to kind of like nod to F any to like everyone can be a part of this conversation, because we're going to try to talk through it. I'm sorry, what did you say. I can't hear you it's so loud out there. When do you think this will be over. She'll shift a little closer and she feels like she feels bad but she's not good with people. So, she's going to shake her head. Not entirely sure here come on, and then she's going to actually legitimately snap her fingers in front of his face like, hey. Oh yeah that definitely like gets his attention like a laser to a.

Where did you and F any meet. So, I've been will will say, um, we met near Fair Bay. I heard her singing alone, one day, and I went up to her. And we've been close ever since. She, she doesn't sing much doesn't. That's not a thing. She's more of a story storyteller stories are great to Clara's eyes will kind of light up like okay that seems like a thing. And she's gonna look to Anthony and be like, So what were you doing in the woods then. And look, I don't want Clara to be shitty, but there is a thing where she's like you're so small What are you doing all by yourself like there's a little note of pandering but she's not trying to And Anthony smiles at that she knows she knows what you mean then she knows it probably wasn't the wisest choice.

And she'll say, I had been. I had been with a band I've been touring playing different places with them. It was an all right life, but I just felt like I wanted more I wanted something different. And I just on impulse set out one day, maybe not the smartest move but hey, I'm at Avalon Clara will kind of look around and try to feel at the group like what's Merrick, what's Merrick up to, like, how's the group. I imagine, Ella wrath is probably trying to sleep or something. I would hope so. Or, yeah, resting just not being involved, but like what's America kalunas outside.

Yeah. And so it's just the four of us right now. Yeah, Merrick's doing exactly the same thing is is Avalon where it's just, it's just constant, I'm imagining truly trying to be in this situation. If it were a storm or a sandstorm or like rain just pelting down and almost not being able to think because it's just just wait until it's over. So he probably hasn't said anything or he's not like getting engaged like yeah that's really interesting. He's just like staring, trying to hunker down. But if you are you trying to sort of engage him like hey, hello.

I think if she saw that he was also doing the kind of zoning out thing maybe she'd turn to Anthony and be like, and she would ask like, why don't you tell us a story then like she, she really wants to try to keep everyone from just zoning out and feeling like shit, but also she's not good at people at the same time. It's not like they're in a position where she can be like I got a game of cards because they're on sand like that would be impossible. So, I mean, America, America is not being he's not like angry or anything he's just just hours and hours and meditation time in a way.

But anyway, so this is hard because it's really I'm really thinking, I don't know who would say anything under these circumstances, it would be so hard. Well that's why Clara would be like hey you want to tell a story like that kind of thing. Do you want to like roll and see how well the story is like. It's not fair to be like hey Jane come up with a story right now on the spot I can barely role play on this spot but we could roll for it and see how great the story is with my roles, it's probably gonna suck but yeah sure. But here's the thing, if it does suck you can always blame the storm it's like, look, I can't work under these conditions, I'm the talent, and you just.

I'll be in my trailer. Sand blanket over you. burrow in the sand. Now, if you're going to Efony, do me a favor, roll a performance check. Okay, that's an eight. I mean, it's not, it's not amazing so maybe you're, you're telling a story and it could be something about it could be any number of things but like let's say you're, you're telling a story about just the city just as a girl well you know what we're going to on a call here. No, no, no call and it's like a couple years back and but you start, you start to tell but like maybe you're maybe sand gets in your mouth every once in a while you're like, okay.

You're like every third word. Yeah, like the storms interfering with it you're trying to you're trying to set a mood it's like, years ago there and it was like what it's terrible like it's just a bad condition to try and tell a story. So here's a problem with that right like yeah it's a low roll and we can blame it on the storm but like in Evelyn's mind, because like she couldn't tell her story well because of the storm that just shows how bad this fucking storm is. He's just even more like, oh man yeah he's worse now like this storm is fucking up my bar now we gotta get out and get the hell out of here.

And then it comes back into the cart and calms him down like a horse rolling animal handling starts his bucket. Hey, speaking of which, it's been a couple hours. I want to, I want to do a couple of things here. First of all, let's roll damage for kaluna. That's a two. And a four another six damage. Okay. kaluna you're gonna be riding in the cart once the storm is over, man. So, has endured, much worse than a storm. Well at a certain point, I gotta ask, kaluna has been taking. Yeah, it's been a while. What, okay. If kaluna say anything would it be like, how, like anything.

No, absolutely. I think kaluna is just sort of, they would grit their teeth and bear it, but they can't because they're spending the whole time just like shushing the horse and just muttering absolute nonsense, and it's not like it doesn't mean anything it's just a series of words, right, just like just comforting vaguely comforting words you know just like it's okay everything's fine. Exactly. I like it. Speaking of the horse. Let's see how the horse is doing. One damage to the horse. So, at some point, there's no question that Merrick would check on kaluna, I mean I probably often just sort of like peek out, just to see how it's going.

But I think every once in a while he's probably going to end up going out and just like, even if there's no word said it's just like checking on everything for a second. And I would expect at some point, he would. Especially at this point, you'd feel like kaluna is not in great shape. Take it, it's taken a beating, right? Yeah, like I think every time that Merrick checks kaluna is like, they're doing their best but they're leaning a little more on the horse each time you poke your head out, and like you can see them every now and then like riding themselves like nope, can't lean on the horse, horse needs to take care of itself.

I would imagine there's also a look like since you don't know how long this storm out of character you have no idea or any character you wouldn't know, I'd imagine there's like each time it's like hope this ends soon like you could see that in someone's eyes. Yeah, I imagine kaluna doesn't even look over at the cart at any point. Like they assume if they're needed someone's going to like scream. So they're just focused 100% on taking care of the horse. This is a weird torture type thing where it's really, I can, I really can this really feel this where everybody's just like trying to ride through it I can see people like rocking back and forth like it's driving.

He's been rocking he's he's on whips and I might have to roll something here soon. I might have to roll not to murder everyone. So just really quick. I mean, at this point I think after this last round of damage I think the next time that Merrick would go out. I'm assuming it would be evident. Is that right like I mean he would be like okay you're not doing great. Yeah, I think like just looking at kaluna's health, they could go for like another, like the next two hours. Yeah, if they took max damage the next two hours then they'd be down so they're looking rough.

Yeah, Merrick is going to go ahead and understand the situation like if kaluna doesn't do this to the horse then the horse could die or snap free, and this could cause way worse problems. He's just going to try to solve the short short term solution type problem, and he is going to cast cure wounds on kaluna. All right. Spicy. Yeah, that's good. That's real good. And also healing word on the horse as well to keep that going too. Okay. Teamwork. It's a three. All right. Good. Nice. I'm gonna keep it going because we got to get out of the storm sooner or later.

Don't forget to check off your, your spell slots guys. Anyway, Kaluna would definitely like I think cure wounds is like a touch thing. I think, right. Fairly. Yeah. Cure wounds is such. So I imagine like Merrick comes over and like puts a hand on them, and they would like, they sort of do a little jump, but they'd like, try to restrain themselves because they know if they freak out they're going to freak out the horse. And they start to jump and sort of abort mission. And then they slowly turn and look over at Merrick. And then they take a hand off the horse and sort of clap him back like, "Thixblood." They wouldn't say anything though because they're so tired.

Yeah, there's no point in opening mouths in a sandstorm. I think that's a bad idea. So after that Merrick would just go back in and sort of get back to his place. All right. One more hour is gonna pass. It has now been a total of eight hours in this ungodly sandstorm. The day is gone. No matter what happens at this point, the day is gone. The sun has pretty much set. It's gotten darker outside, but the wind is still kicking up. Kaluna is going to take four more damage. Man. You know, Kaluna has taken like more damage than the horse. And I like to think that part of that is that Kaluna positioned themselves like to partially block the horse.

Right. Oh my gosh. You're a good horse, Dad. Listen, Mac has a soft spot for horsies. Yeah, it's rubbed raw by sand, so... It's extra soft. It's exfoliated. So exfoliated. Well, after this last hour, the wind is going to start to die down. And shortly after that, there is going to be an eerie stillness that settles in over the desert. The moon is going to be out, so things will be illuminated. And I would say after about five minutes or so, the group would realize that that terrible racket has stopped. That constant sand, just kind of a just a constant blast of sand every couple of seconds hitting the outside of this cart.

And the storm is going to be over. What would everyone like to do? Aveline crawls out. Freedom! Kisses the sand, then realizes there's more sand in his mouth. You know what he starts doing? As soon as the storm is over, he gets out really frantic and he starts grabbing the barrel. He pulls it out and he's going to start to try to reposition the cart to where it's ready to go as soon as possible. Yeah, dig it out as much as we can. Miracle will help with that. Interesting. Okay. So, Kaluna is going to just sort of like once it's like clear, like, oh, oh, it's over.

Kaluna is going to just sort of sag against the horse a little bit, just in relief, like, oh, thank God. But just for a moment. And then they're going to shuffle over and take the blanket off its head and sort of pet its face. And Kaluna doesn't do kisses. So they're going to bump their nose against the horse's nose, just real soft, just sort of hold there. Just, you did good. You did great. God damn it. You're good. They're booping snoots. Boop the snoot. They're booping snoots. Okay. And then once Kaluna's, like once Merrick gets out, Kaluna is going to go over to him and just like grab his face between their hands.

And they're going to go, you okay? And just like looking deep into his eyes, just trying to like looking for any mental unrest. No, this strangely as torturous as it is, it's kind of meditative. You know, it's just having to be entirely present constantly. Like there's no, you can't sort of like zone out and start daydreaming. It's sort of like. I think it probably was a good thing for him, to be honest, in a lot of ways. Meanwhile, Kaluna looks like a little frenzied almost. Just like. So, yeah, Merrick would say, I'm fine. I'm just glad that's over. You okay?

Everything okay? Instead of answering, Kaluna is just going to flop into the sand and just sort of lay down on their back. Just like, we're done. Goodbye. Merrick will know this well as a response and he'll say, good. Okay, good. And then just turn around. The real answer is no, but at least they'll recover. Right. So are we setting up camp, just to be clear, are we setting up camp for the night because it's nighttime or are we going through the night? Like, Abilene's body language is it is clear he does not want to stay here for another second. He wants to move even if it's an inch forward, like he just wants to not be in this position again for another day because he doesn't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

So he's freaking the fuck out. Right. Here's a question. So this is desert land. Is it. I would imagine that the sky is really clear and the stars are out after this sandstorm. Oh, yeah. Is it bright enough that it would actually kind of make sense? It's like we can kind of see where we're going in a way. Oh, the moon's out. Like you could. It's not like a forest, right? We're not like going through and it's all dark. It's more like we're open. I mean, as long as there's something, unless it's something beneath us. I feel like wide open desert with moonlight is like very well lit.

That's why I feel. Yeah, we wouldn't just like start veering off into a different direction. I think we can make it. I said, that's what I'm kind of afraid of. Like we're in that storm for a while. Like how do we know the direction didn't get like did we do anything to like. Like, well, here's what we're going to do. Oh, boy. I love it when you say that, Jason. Makes me so happy. I heard that little chuckle. I heard that. Yeah. Before we like commit to this, which I'm totally fine with. Should Kaluna rest in the back with Alarath? Because I don't think Kaluna is at full strength.

I think Kaluna would. Kaluna wouldn't be happy, but they're also just like so mentally worn down that they might. They'd like they put up like a very minimal fight, just like. But she's gross. But then it's like, no, no, honey, you need to lay down. OK, you're right. Goodbye. Just do like the dude barrier thing when like two dudes leave together in the same bed and they don't want to touch bits. Just like, you know, put something back to back. Yeah. Well, you know, we'll make a we'll make a but the barrel in between us. Yeah. Alarath burrito idea from earlier.

I think we're OK. I mean, I feel like we should probably I'm guessing we should probably know what kind of direction we're headed in. If there's any anything that's unless we can't tell where the wind's blowing from, from the ocean or something like that. But I feel like we could we can make it even with Kaluna in the back. Dude, I just want all these days to wake up and like Alarath's like faces in like the barrel of water. No, like tainting it. I forgot. We're all infected. I've been doing this the whole time, you guys. I've been living in this barrel.

That'd be great because we'd have no idea like how contamination actually works. So just be like one of those unfortunate things. This portable bathroom is great, you guys. I'm so glad we brought it. This is a really good idea. I think there's too much water in it next time. You know, you better with less water. Is that a party foul? Is that bad? It really takes a lot of time if you don't wipe. Awwww. Too far. Let's talk hygiene for a moment. No! No, let's talk hygiene. For some reason, Lisa loves to describe Alarath's butthole. Like not everything, like not anything sexy.

Like just how wet it is and how gross it is. Like all the time. I mean, it's so glamorous. I just can't not. Imagine being coated in sweat constantly. And then when you're done with the sandstorm, you are covered in sand doesn't even quite cover it, right? Like you guys are just... it's in your hair. It's like it's in the crease of your eyelids. It's everywhere constantly. You could brush yourself off but it's still sticking to you. You'd have to completely... you'd basically have to take a shower to get this off of you. And that's not an option. So you're just stuck with this.

So here's what we're going to do. This is a fairly easy check. Getting back into things, I was going to ask Kaluna to roll a survival check for me. Now it's... easy is not the word I would describe it. It's a slightly tougher check because one, you guys have been pelted with this storm now for a while. It's also nighttime. You're in the desert. There's no road. Kaluna, do me a favor, roll a survival check for me. That sounds about right. Kaluna's fucking wiped. I don't know why everyone's trusting them still. Well I guess it's just because they took the reins on this to begin with?

Literally. Yeah. Sorry. I imagine Kaluna's like sideways in the back. Just sort of like laying down with their legs kicked over the side. And they're just like, "Yep. Mm-hmm. This stuff." Yeah. Does this look right, Kaluna? Sure. Yeah. Basically just maybe pokes their head up. Yep, looks good. Hey. Um. Hours are gonna pass here. Oh good lord. Hours are gonna pass here. Alarath, do me a favor. Roll a con save. I swear to god if you vomit on me. Just a flat con save. Okay. Was there advantage or disadvantage? I'm sorry. I had a second glass of wine and now I can't recall.

No, just flat. No advantage or disadvantage. Sorry about that. Okay. No, don't be sorry. Here we go. Again, the number debate is 13. 13 or higher. Okay. Yeah. That's almost not quick there. So even with a plus two, because it's supposed to be a save, not a check. Oh, I thought. Oh. Oh. Oh shit. I'm sorry. I've been doing this wrong the whole time. No, that's fine. I mean, it's been going really well up until now. Alarath's gonna be doing worse here. Do me a favor. Do me another con save to see how you look. How this is going to. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's. She continues to look flawless.

Dude. This is happening from the inside out. There's no question. You know what it is though? It's those guns. Like you can't look bad when you've gotten guns that are that good. It's clean living guys. Just clean. It's all that avocado toast. I personally sleep in a bed of avocado toast. That just sounds unhygienic. It's good for your skin, I think. So Alarath's body is just gonna ache all over. Okay. Not to mention the constant nausea now. It's every, every few hours you're gonna have to just lean over the side of this cart to just blarve. And it's gonna feel like Alarath just got done this really intense workout.

All the time. Just like, oh man. Like you wake up the next day, it's like, oh my God, I can't bend my legs. I can't. Like this is terrible. But all the time you're just gonna feel worn out and, and, and just strained. And as a result, we're gonna push you up another level of exhaustion. So your speed is gonna be halved and you're gonna have disadvantage on ability checks. Nice. This is starting to take its toll. This is what I get for having such a good... It's good. It's good. So did we, did we all agree to leave in the night in an expeditious manner? To continue to go?

Yes. I believe. It's up to you guys. Hell yeah. I mean, Aveline was gung ho about it. He never asked anyone. I just assumed that we would try and if somebody wanted to not do that, they would, they would speak up. Exactly. Okay. Well, rest is, uh, rest is going to be an issue eventually. Now, here's what we're going to do. We know that, uh, we know the little bit of sand got into this water. What I'd like to do is see how much. So someone, let's say Jasper, let's say Merrick. I want you to roll a flat D20. The higher this number, the more drinkable this water is.

The, now obviously the sand is going to float to the bottom, like, or sink to the bottom, but it's going to, it is going to be one of those things where you're drinking water and just like, like the lower the number, the more sand got into this, to this barrel. All right, here we go. This is going to be good. Mm hmm. No, hang on. Pick it up again. I don't like that one either. There we go. All right, here we go. Ready? Oh, shit. You should have taken the first grab, Jasper. So a fair amount of sand got into this. It's, I'd imagine it's one of those things where you guys get all done.

You're the first person to reach and it's like, ah, shit. It's just like tiny particles of sand that aren't sinking yet. Right. So it's, it's, it's one of those things that you take a drink and it's like, you got to filter it through your teeth a little bit. Oh no. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's there. It's not, it's not harmful. It's just a pain in the ass. Yeah. Would Elorath be vocal about this? Because again, no one at the party would be able to tell by looking at Elorath. It's like, wow, you, you are fucked up. But like, would Elorath be more vocal about this?

Because I, okay. Eventually you're entering into zombie bite territory, right? Where it's like, okay, if I continue to tell them how badly I'm doing or how, how poorly I'm feeling. Yeah, they might just like, end me. Are they going to? Yeah. So like. I don't think she would try to hide the fact that she's throwing up over the side, but I don't think she'd say anything about the fact that she's feeling worse unless somebody asked her. Like if somebody asked her, she'd be like, I'm just, I'm just real tired. And like she would obviously look exhausted. And she would be trying to get some sleep, but no, she wouldn't be like, I'm feeling worse.

You guys, we need to step this up. But she wouldn't be trying to hide the fact that she's throwing up either. She just doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. Right. But if somebody tries to like sit next to her, she'll probably be like, you know, the way that somebody is like, you're like, are you okay? You go touch them and they just like close their mouth and their eyes and they're just. Right. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't need to tell you guys this trip has been miserable thus far. You're State Adventure, right? Most of you guys are used to being on the road.

It's just part of the gig. You're out there, you're either on a horse or you're walking everywhere you need to be. Sometimes it's days or weeks in between towns where you can actually sleep in a bed and get a nice hot meal. That's not something you caught that day and butchered yourself. And it's just you're used to it. You could bathe in a stream or you something. This is a whole different animal. It's hot and sticky and sweaty and now Sandy just covered in sand head to toe. It's every once in a while you you brush your hair. It's like it's just falling into your eyes.

God damn it. I thought I got all that and and then this would be a miserable situation if on top of everything you're dealing with Ella rats increased sickness. Cologne is exhausted and the entire party is pushing on through the night instead of trying to get a good night's sleep. All of this is just terrible. On top of this. You're going to get about you're going to get about six hours into the night. So it is early morning. Have any of you guys ever taken a really long road trip? Mm hmm. So have you ever made the decision? It's like, you know what? I we're not getting a hotel room.

We're not doing it. We're not staying in a motel. We're just going to push through the night. We're going to save some money. Yeah. The thing is, I've never been the one pushing. Always know the kid in the back sleeping. Yeah. That's the nice position to be in. Just like, but I'm guessing it's your parents. Like, have you ever seen their faces after the decision? Hell no. I was asleep. Right. OK. Speaking of someone who has done this. I've never seen this. What you're talking about? It's it's it's it's it's like, oh, man, we should have stayed in the hotel. Like there's regret one to one and then there's advanced regret.

Right. You're almost falling asleep at the wheel and you're in the middle of Dakota. One of the Dakota just it's I don't know where we are. Which Dakota? Nope. You eventually crash in a motel. You're not even sure what town or state you're in. It's just like, I don't even know. Whatever. You wake up and you're like, hey, let's check the phone. Where are we? That type of thing. Six hours are going to go by and someone's going to turn to Kaluna. It's like, hey, does this look right? Kaluna. Oh, no. Do me a favor. Roll a perception. Oh, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Looks good to me. Who is going to say that? Imagine like Kaluna's just been woken up in the. Just oh, it's going to be like, yep. Stay the course. Like, hmm. Oh, doing great. I imagine it's one of those. This used to happen to me a lot where it's like, hey, it's time to get up for school. OK, good. Like you don't even process what's been said to you. You just respond. Right. And then you immediately fall back into a deep, deep sleep. I'd like to think this this happened in character because I've been I've been like as as the night pushed on and more like shit stacked against us.

He's have he has his face. This is like he's getting more and more energetic as things stack against us. So like he'll turn around to Kaluna. Well, while Kaluna is sleeping. So the question is, where are we? Is that the question? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's an ass. He's an ass. Like, you know, wait, wait, clean up and say, where are we? Are we going the right way? Will be. Yeah. Good. All right. Keep going. Here's the tough thing. It is damn near impossible to get sleep because it's not OK when you're in a car. OK, let's say your standard cart, you could do the thing where it's like every couple of hours.

It's basically like taking shifts when you're sleeping in the woods. Right. It's like, you know, sometimes that that lull of like the the the the horse cantering down the road. And it's like to do to do. And it's just kind of like a gentle jostling, almost almost begging you to just kind of like, OK, just just doze off. It's fine. This continues to be the shittiest venture you guys have taken thus far because the fucking carts getting stuck every 10 minutes. It's like, all right, we're sunk again. Someone's got to get up. It's like, so imagine sleeping. And then like the entire fucking cart dips to the side and dips back the other way while someone's trying to push and someone's cursing behind you.

It's like, oh, the horse is exhausted. It's getting slower. This is not going well. It is about, let's say, three in the morning ish. Would the decision be to just keep pushing? I don't want it to be meta at all. And I just wonder if at some point Merrick would also want to make sure we're headed in the right direction. But that feels better. Our navigator is asleep. I don't think that's meta at that point. Yeah. If we're up going, yeah, yeah, I totally know the right way. And we just didn't know that they were on drugs or something. That would be meta. But the fact that Kaluna is actively asleep, I think that is fine.

If there's any feeling. Yeah, go ahead. Merrick would know that Kaluna was fucked up. So it's like they're asleep. They're not mentally sound right now. So I would imagine if anyone would second guess them, it would be Merrick. Yeah. Just as a rule, kind of like just to make sure Kaluna is paying attention. I think this probably happens a lot for a lot of little things, but this is kind of a big thing. Right. I feel like Merrick would, especially if he's trying to help get like, let's go, we got to go, we got to go. I think he would want to make sure he's not going to be blind about it.

Well, then do me a favor. Roll a survival check. Okay. There you go. Eighteen. Merrick's everything that Charles told you. Right. It's like, okay, look, he's not there to show you the exact way to go. But he's like, okay, you're going to look out for these signs. Here you go. Probably write some stuff down, right? Merrick's going to look around and start taking a tally of stuff. It's like this, this and start referring to this. Like none of this is right. This isn't right. The sky should be in this position. We should be able to, we should be broadside to the ocean.

And this isn't right. We're getting turned around. Merrick's going to, it's going to slowly dawn on Merrick. It's like we've probably be headed, we've been heading in the wrong direction now for hours. Oh, no. Does Merrick say this? That's what I was wondering. So here's what I've done on road trips before when this exact thing has happened. Merrick will, presuming that he's kind of guiding the horse or whatever and helping, he would just start slowly turning it towards the direction where he thinks we should be going and sort of starting to arc that way.

And at some point if he feels like, Aveline is kind of like, what's, what's up? Oh, no, that's like for sure. If you're, if you're guiding the horse, Aveline is right there next to you. Just like, he's basically, he basically looks like he's on blood root at this point. He's back to vintage Aveline. Like he is losing it. Okay. Let's do a thing. Aveline, roll a perception check to see if you'd notice. Okay. That's fair enough. Fair enough. I'd say on a 15 or higher, you're gonna, you're gonna pick up. Oh shit. Well then. There you go. That's a 16. Yeah. So as we were turning and you're like slowly turning, Aveline is going to be like, wait, where are we going?

Clune said it was straight, straight away. Wait a minute. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. No. He's at Merrick's, so Merrick's, you've had this feeling where the blood just like drains out of your head when you realize like, oh my God, like I just made a horrible mistake. Yeah, that heart sinking. Yeah. So he's going to be starting to turn a little bit. Now it's not like a right, like a 90 degree turn. It's just more like a, I'm going to do this slow. I'm going to arc around. We're going to get back on track. It's going to be fine. Aveline notices and Merrick's going to just say, he's not going to even say anything.

He's going to just start shaking his head in a, in a like, um, no, um, and he's going to point in the direction where we should be headed. And he's just going to shake his head with his eyes wide open, like, dude, this, we just fucked up. Aveline's mouth is a gape. He can't even comprehend how much time they lost. Says like, he doesn't know. He doesn't know how close they are. So Merrick is going to lift his finger to his lips and just go, shh. Aveline, you basically cast, cast the whole person on him. Like he's, Merrick's, he's just going to, he's going to, his, his hand is still pointing, right?

He's, he's pointing in that direction. He's just going to go, shh. He's going to say, there's nothing we can do, but get back on track. Let's go. We got to, we got to, we got to hurry. We've got to go. I assume like we're whispering this. Yeah. It's like, like, just between you and me, buddy. Like it's okay. We got a little turned around, but we got to go. And, and there's no point in getting in arguments with anybody and nobody needs to get scared. And the last thing we need to do is make her feel like she's not going to have a chance. So just between you and me, we're going to arc around and we're going to get back on track and we're going to make up for lost time.

Okay. Cool. Aveline, look at you like the wide glossy eyes. And he says, Merrick, we've used half our water. And he's going to sit back and accept fate. I don't think Merrick would have anything to say to that other than just sort of look straight ahead and just. Yeah. I assume we do that thing. Like, you know, like when you're like two kids that got into like a shitload of trouble and you're like, yeah, we're about to get a spanking. Well, you just kind of sit back and wait. Yeah. That's what we're going to do. That's it. It's like, shit, you're right. See what happens.

That's it. I don't think Merrick would call it out to anybody else. And I think he would he would just not there's just no point in making anybody. Not at all. I think we both get upset or concerned, right? It's just like this. What are we going to do? To clarify the situation for those of you out home or in the call that might have been a little lost. The decision was made to push through the night. Now, not only does that mean that party members aren't getting proper rest. Thanks to this miscalculation. You pushed through the night without rest to go in a different direction than where you needed to go.

Things are not looking great at the moment. Thankfully, at least the weather is is a little bit better. Clara. Yes. Could you do me a favor? Roll a flat D20 for me. Do I have to? Yes. Technically, we've entered a new day of travel. Yay! 15! I did it! I'm way happier about that than I should be because I'm really scared. You guys are going to travel for another hour. And suddenly the cart is going to get stuck again. Now, this has happened several, several times. This is not out of the ordinary. And I would imagine I'd imagine at this point it's like a crying baby.

It's like someone just looks at you. It's your turn. I got the last one. That type of thing. Who would jump out of the cart to try and wrestle with this thing and just get it out of the sand, get it over this hump? Clara can do it. I imagine it was Merrick and Avalon up front driving the cart because they just had that talk. So, OK, Clara is going. Clara is going to do I imagine this has happened many times. So Clara is just going to sort of like get underneath this cart and just sort of try and lift one of the wheels here. It's like, OK. And, you know, someone's going to be up front.

You could be Merrick, you know, just kind of like, OK, OK, and get the horse to go and get over this hump. Clara, do me a favor and roll Perception. I rolled a six, but it's a five because my Perception being the worst. Clara is going to be pushing this cart and there's a there's a it's it's a little it's a little more resistant than usual. Usually it's you got to lift up a bit and kind of get over it. It's just not quite it's like, oh, this is really stuck with the hell. And then the cart's just going to give way all of a sudden and be pulled free. And Clara is going to try and keep up with the cart and then hit something with her boot and trip and kind of fall over.

And Clara is going to look down at the instinctual. It's like, what the hell did I drip over? Because I wasn't sand. It's a skull. Good. What would Clara's reaction be? I honestly thought it was going to be a sandworm. Well, first of all, I want to make a canon that the reason that her Perception is so bad is because she grew up in the dark and it's really fucking bright out here. It's nighttime right now. Oh, right. Never mind. Oh, no, no, no. It's a really bright moon. It won't be burned. You have been on the road all day and pushing into the night. You're probably exhausted.

Everyone is. Right. So honestly, I feel like she would kind of just let the car go forward a bit and then check out the situation. And if it doesn't seem bad, she wouldn't even tell anybody because it's the same thing like what Merrick just said, where it's like, why make everyone nervous? But the smart part of her is like, well, let's check for water and see if they have any money. And, you know. Yeah, well, checking this thing out, it is a skull attached to a body. No flesh, right? No, this has been stripped clean. We just run into another slock fever fucking...

No, no, no, no. Just wear your gloves. So it's a so if it's one of those things like you try and brush some of the sand off of it just to check it out, it's wearing armor and it's carrying stuff like it's it's probably in all in all honesty, it's probably an adventurer or someone who just got lost or separated and, you know, didn't get out. Important question. Yeah. Is its armor nicer than mine? I would say due to the elements. Nope. This is more a leather armor type thing. It does have it does have kind of like, like a pack on it and some belts and stuff.

And it's the way it fell. It looks like it was reaching out or something. And it just it just one arm is extended above its head like it was maybe crawling, something like that. And in its skeletal kind of clawed grip, it's it's it was wearing gloves like fingerless gloves. And there's something in its right hand. Can I can I take a real close look at it without taking it? You sure can. Roll a perception check for me. That's not fair. It's well, you're looking. Hey, better. I'm good, but like better. He seems to be holding it seems to be just dressed like a man seems to be holding sticking out on either side of its fist is like a very polished, like a black figurine type of thing.

It seems to be made out of like some sort of precious stone. And if nothing else, it's probably worth some kind of money. It looks like all of this dude's possessions are still on him, like weapon armor, stuff like that. It looks like it's been pretty beaten up by sand and such, but his packs are still closed. Dude, you guys might not really like Clara right now. Because realistically, I think what she would do is just kind of bury the body and walk away. Unless someone else sees this. Does anyone else notice it? Like, I imagine she does pause to look at the body.

She doesn't want to make anyone nervous, but she'll pause. Well, then if she's going to go bury it, then that would make her pause for even longer. But like, realistically, normally the way this works is someone gets out of the cart and it's like, okay, and we're back on the road, hop back in the cart and move on. Right. Even you stopping and looking to see what's in this, brushing it off and then it's like, oh, it's got something to say. Even that amount of time is probably like, you know, a minute or two, which is longer than how you'd normally stop.

And it is an open cart. It's not like, there's no cover on it. So everyone can see what I'm doing. If anyone would like to come out. I just don't think that she wouldn't take anything if she didn't have a use for it. Like she wouldn't take jewelry or anything like that. She'd only take money, armor, weapons. Well, I figure everyone's basically, at the very least, Merrick's waiting for you to get back in the cart. So he'd be looking to it's like, Ian, okay, let's go. Because this has happened a bunch. Yeah, you know, Avalon, he's checking his imaginary watch, you know?

Yeah. Well, Merrick would be looking in the rear view mirror, so he would immediately. If there's anything and he felt like- Corpses in the mirror, maybe closer than they appear. If Merrick thought that Clara was looking at something or like something wasn't quite right, he would at least say, Clara, what's up? Do you like slap the horse on the ass to make it honk? I slap your ass. If she's causing concern, then she'll just be honest. Be like, we have a body back here. And I imagine she's like flipping it over into a dignified position as she says that.

There's no way to really like- they wouldn't be able to dig deep enough for it to stay buried, really. Right. And as you do that, there's going to be there's going to be like insects and stuff like kind of crawling out of the skull just kind of because they kind of made a home there, that type of thing. So you got you got things like ants and stuff kind of like coming out of the eye socket. And as you flip it over, obviously this arm is going to be fairly rigid and it's going to it's going to kind of flop over and that figurine is going to pop off and just kind of fall into the sand.

And these packs are just they're going to make that that that kind of jingly sound of like this person was loaded for bear. And yeah, if you're going to roll over on his back. I want to go on the record saying that really grosses Brianna out because I hate bugs, but Clara is completely unfazed. Okay. Merrick would definitely jump down after knowing that there's something going on back there with a with a body and would just come straight up and say like, oh, what do we got here? Looks like he didn't bring enough water. Hmm. Well, let's check. And Merrick's going to take his take his Morningstar mace thing and poke around a little bit.

More bugs. More bugs. Actually, yeah, a lot of bugs, a lot of sand, that type of thing. There's some jingling. Yeah, just trying to get a look at whatever effects this person had. Yeah, there's some jingling coming from the pack that's almost a fanny pack type thing on the side, which sounds like that's probably where this person stored their gold. The rest of this backpack is filled with a lot of the same stuff you guys are carrying. You know, you got your bedroll and stuff like that. Also smells like there was some kind of food in there at one time. Lot of bugs in there.

Merrick will pick up the fanny pack. OK. And I imagine this is the thing where you're brushing off sand, you're brushing off... Exactly. Like, how do you open it up? Like, untie it. What is this thing? And just kind of like just go straight for it. And in this little fanny pack, you are going to you're going to find some some rolled up scrolls, like little ones, like the kind that people keep, like notes, like running like a series of notes, almost like like a daily diary type thing. Each one of these scrolls would represent a day in this person's life. And you're also going to find about about about 40 gold.

Nice. Yeah. OK, so Merrick's going to take the scrolls and put those in his in a little pouch or something. He's not hiding this. He's just like, oh, cool. Just putting them in a pocket. But he's going to take the fanny pack with the gold and tie it up a little bit or whatever pouch it is. And then he's going to go over to Elorath and plop it down next to Elorath and say, this is for the cleric. Oh, that's smart. What is it? That's going to be your cleric's payment to cure your disease. You're welcome. Actually, Clara as well. Wait, you should thank Clara. You know what I'm saying?

She would she'd give you like an exhausted, like half hearted, like smile. Say thanks. There's sand on this too. Sweetheart. I imagine we're all just like any time we see sand, that's like not on the ground, we're just like sand. Oh, it's here to go. I spy with my little eye. While you're doing that, Clara is going to be down in obvious prayer and she'll kind of look at you while you're doing that. But she definitely doesn't say anything. It doesn't look judgmental. It's just kind of like, oh, and get back to praying. And then when she's done, she'll just leave him in the most dignified position she can and get back to the cart.

Merrick's going to just take one more sort of poke through anything, see if there's anything of use for especially for the journey that they're on to get to Onakol. You also might find that statue. Well, I was about to say, is that obviously cursed statue. Right. Wow. Is there is there any anything else and does I'm assuming that he would see that statuette? It kind of stands out, especially on the sand. Sand being sort of a bright white. And the statue would kind of pop on that. Yeah. What color is it again? It is jet black, except for there's something. It almost looks like two gemstones, right?

Because the inner gemstone kind of has a green tint to it, like almost a jade. Whereas this this it's tough to see where that it's almost it's almost like a glow. But the outside is this very meticulously carved statuette about. It's got a little bit of weight to it, but it fits neatly in the palm of your hand. It's not not super large and it's not this it's of this cloaked figure kind of raising its arms above its head. But the face is obscured. Long, long billowy cloaks. Again, all of the folds of this cloak are just meticulously crafted and polished to a shine.

Even though it's been exposed to the elements, it's still in great shape. OK, well, Merrick's going to definitely I mean, Clara didn't care about picking it up. Merrick's just going to grab it and take a really good look at it. Is there any sort of like an Arcana check or anything like that? That is there anything more to this other than it just being a statuette that he could tell? You could run an Arcana check if you like. OK, I'll do it. Can I run intimidation on it or you can bark at it if you want? OK, 16 for Arcana. It doesn't it doesn't feel like it's magical or anything like that.

Although Merrick would have never seen a gemstone quite like this. This is it looks to be a gemstone anyway. Either that or just a very, very polished stone of some sort. Either way, Merrick's never seen this material. And someone somewhere or a team of people took a lot of care in crafting this. Like, OK, you ever want to order a figurine offline or something like that? Like, say you're a real nerd. I don't think anybody listening to this show would be a real nerd. But you get your you get your cheap knockoff one for like 50 bucks. And it's like, that's pretty good.

Or you can order that gorgeous three hundred dollar model that that comes from the source. That that type of thing. This would be like, oh, this is a series of like one. Someone took a lot. This was not mass produced. Wow. OK, well, just to be clear about Merrick's motivations here, he's going to think that's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool little thing. I have no idea what it is. I don't know if it's expensive really or not. Looks like it's pretty cool and kind of whatever. But he's going to pick it up and just put it in a pouch or something and kind of just think of it as a souvenir.

So there's there's no motivation like this is going to be this is going to be expensive and I'm going to keep it. It's just going to be like, oh, that's that's cool. This is a cool little thing. Maybe this will be something cool to look at later. So he's going to stick it in a pouch. But again, not secretive. He's just going to sort of just do it. Come in in the chat. A souvenir of this awful, shitty trip so we can remember it forever. And then at that point, he's just going to just say a couple of cleric words over the body and then just for a second or two, a couple seconds.

Sort of the bare minimum. And he's going to jump back on the cart. Merrick's going to do some math. At at your current rate. Based on all the hardships that you've you've encountered so far. And if you can you can keep things on track and not get lost again. Merrick estimates that you are about two and three quarter days away from Mona Kahl. Problem with that is that you have about a day, maybe a day and a half's worth of water. I think that is a good time for us to stop for the night. Oh, no. Oh, boy. I'm so glad Colun is the one who got everyone killed. No, no, I wasn't.

It was, you know, a series of decisions because, you know, I was the one mainly pushing like to keep pushing forward in the night. Everybody was already tired. Dude, it's look, it's everything led up to this moment and it's. Yeah, I'm not scared at all. I was laughing. You got a lot of delicious party members here, you know. Oh, yeah. Push it when push first. LRS. Go for it. No, no. I'm just saying it's not even about the fact that they were friends or anything. It's just like, you know. Yeah, I know. This is like, oh, that should be tender. You would fall right off that bone.

That was gross and hilarious. We hope you enjoyed that episode of Dungeons and Randomness. We are supported by all the folks over on Patreon. Jason came out and told you guys last week about all the cool stuff that we were planning to upload after Dragon Con. And I am here to tell you that we have, we have uploaded all the panels that Jason and I have been on. As well as the Beastery, which is new content that we just added to Patreon based on your survey answers. As well as a special in-person game that Jason, Jasper, Kelsey, Ian, and I. Yes, that's all of us.

That we all played during Dragon Con and it is just funny and fantastic. We got to actually see each other. It's just a great time. That said, here's a clip from one of our panels at Dragon Con from Dungeon Mastery 101. By far our biggest panel. Even when we were doing episode one, we started with a module. Keeping the Shadowfell. And I hated it. Not because it's a bad module at all. We started in 4E, there was a mistake. And then we kind of moved forward from there. I didn't like the rigidity of it. I didn't like having everything planned out. I wanted to start doing things and failing on my own and figuring it out.

But I have this petrifying fear. And I want to know how many people will feel this in the audience. I have a petrifying fear that the players are going to point to an area or want to do a thing. And in my head it's like, "I didn't plan for that?" Hands up for anybody who feels, "Thank you, I'm not insane." I have had a petrifying fear that that's where the world came from. Because I just didn't want anybody to point to an area and say, "I want to go there." And I go, "Well, that's under construction." And not being able to go there. Um... [whoosh] If you want to hear more content like that, including six more panels on top of the Dungeon Mastery 101, please go and support us on Patreon for as little as a dollar.

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