When to Say Goodbye

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[clattering] [clattering] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+.

This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] Did... With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Ark 2, episode 14 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you today by the lovely folks supporting us on Patreon. If you stick around to the end of the episode, we're going to play you a clip from Living in Theria.

It was all about werewolves and vampires this month as we're doing a big spooky month on Patreon. We answered two hours worth of your questions spanning from lore, placement in the world, all the way to mechanics and stats and all that good stuff. That and tons of behind the scenes stuff like the pregame for this episode and all the cut material that was left on the floor. That's patreon.com/dandr. Previously for Group C, while still lost in the wastes far outside of Onakal, Elrath's condition worsened as the virus inside of her began to take hold, the rest of the party seemed to be running out of ways to comfort her and still keep their own morale up.

As a combination of the hot desert sun, constant threat of creatures surrounding them, and a blistering sandstorm slowed the group down immeasurably. Let's pick things up as the party discovers that not only have they been heading in the wrong direction, but they used up half of their water supply with a great deal of the journey still left. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table starting with Mack. Hi, I'm Mack and I play Kuluna of Alcaras, the half-dead wild... wild and... druid fuck.

That would have been really clever if you got it out there faster. No, I got stuck on shaman. And I was like, that's not right now. I'm really interested in the class druid fuck. Well, I'm not sure what that is. Is that an Unearthed Recana or something? Yeah, it is. It's basically beastiality. It's a little tree flame. Oh, druid fuck is a power. Yes, it's a druid fuck. Oh, is that what it is? Oh, see, I thought it was weaponized beastiality. I misread the power, I'm so sorry. Oh, god. Jane! Hi, I'm Jane, I play Ephini the Gnome-Bard. And Jasper. I'm Jasper, I play Merrick Ethelred, Human Cleric.

And Zach. What's up, my name is Zach and I play Avalain Bates, the human fighter. And Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna and I play Klara Urath-Dael, the half-drow fighter. And last but certainly not least is Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa and I play Elorath-Beastinger, the also half-dead halfling barbarian. Hell yeah! We'll be fine, we'll be fine. I'm sorry, barbarian fuck. Oh man, send your fanart to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. Please, no, don't do that. Don't do that. Elorath is the big spoon. Aw. So guys, last time, man, nature was not kind to you. And I feel bad. You still got nature, yes.

It's all nature's fault. So you guys still got about 33, almost 34 miles to go. Unfortunately, these miles are slow going. But we're going to get to that in just a moment. It is the 20th of yester. Now, you guys are basically driving through the night. Elorath is right now suffering from the second level of exhaustion. She's been, recently the illness is getting worse. It's been a problem. You remember the line at the end of the episode that you are half done with your water. That you are half out of water. Which is a pessimistic view. But you guys have 28 gallons of water.

Now, for an adventure in the hot sun like you guys are, you need to drink 2 gallons of water a day. There are 6 of you, which means 12 gallons of water are being consumed every single day. Now, there are things you could do to ration that out and everything. And we'll get into it if the need should arise. The last we left, everyone was pretty much getting some sleep except for Marek and Avalon. Is there any point during the evening where you would make camp or is it just pretty much seen as we need to get through this, let's go? As far as I'm concerned, it was just like let's just go.

Especially since we veered off the track. We got to make up for lost time. I think even if Marek was half trying to keep his eyes open, I think he'd keep going. Until the horse told him no way. Yeah, which is something you got to worry about eventually here. So let's say time's going to pass here and the sun's going to rise. So it is officially daybreak, the 20th of the BSD. I'd imagine people would wake up eventually. Now, every once in a while you're going to need to stop. One, your horse is going to need water. Now, a cruel person would take away from your water supply to give the horse water.

I'm not going to do that. We're just going to say that the horse has its own rations of water and that's gross water and you don't want to drink after the horse. Let's just say that. It's like gas. We got gas before we left. We filled up, we have a couple of tanks of gas. There's like some algae in it, it's kind of gross. But that's fine for horse water. Oh, man. Here's what I'd like to do. Each day you guys are in the desert here, I would like someone to roll a D12. That is the number of miles you are going to travel. That is going to simulate how many times you have to stop, how slow going the sand is making the cart, any problems you might have with maybe getting a little lost or getting a little turned around, something like that.

That is going to simulate all of that. Again, you have 33, almost 34 miles to go. Who would like to do me a favor and roll a D12? Oh, God. That wasn't... Oh, shoot. I was clicking around on the dice, I thought I was going to do it. I was like, "No, that wasn't me, I was just fucking around." I didn't say anything. But it didn't happen. Not it? I'd like to call not it. You know what? No, no. I already dicked us over. I'm not doing it. I was going to say, I would prefer not to because last time I gave us an eight hour sandstorm. That's fair. Hey, Jane. Jane, do me a favor.

Give me a flat D12. I don't want to. You know what? I believe in you. I'm going to cover my heart. Yeah! Holy shit. Holy shit. That's... That's... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So that was a 12. Yep. Does that mean it's a crit? And do we get extra? I like it. That laugh goes in your, you know... It's your favorite table. I'm just trying. Look, guys. Here's what we're going to do. Can we get like an extra fourth of a mile? Here's what we're going to do. Because you guys decided to go through the night. I would imagine at this point you've got some of this down to a side.

So the fact that you know that the cart's going to get stuck. You know that it's just going to get old eventually. Like you guys going, "Yep. Okay. Whatever. Go. Go." That type of thing. You got it down to a side. Whose turn is it? That type of thing. It's not surprising. Now, what I'd like to do is have Jane roll a D4 for me. Okay. Okay. So 13 miles is how far you are going to travel from the point that you got lost to about, let's say, noon the next day. Something like that. It's just been a steady, continuous grind. You're not blazing through the desert, but at the same time, you guys...

You know the terrain. You know what you're in for, essentially. And you've gotten just about as far as you can without a break. You're going to have to stop. This horse is pretty exhausted. So you're going to have to take a bit of a break here. Let your horse get a drink, get some rest, that type of thing. Yeah. It's also midday, so it's probably boring. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Well, let's take a midday break. Let's try to... I mean, we don't want to just leave the horse like, "Go on. Go on. Go get hot." And whatever. We'll try to set up something to make sure that the horse can also get a little shade, if possible.

Yeah. I mean, if you think about it. Do you remember how you flipped over your cart and you had shelter? It wouldn't be too tough to set up some bed rolls and stuff like that and kind of make an awning, that type of thing. Yeah. Like a pillow fort. It's something like that. Yeah. Just something to keep the sun off of you guys. It's still going to be hot, but you don't want that direct sun just beading on you. Now, Jason, I would like Evelyn to do something during this rest time. Mm-hmm. Sometime during the rest. I just want him to find a spot. Like, say we set up somewhere we can rest and it's not as windy.

He wants to draw with a sticker, maybe a sword or something. Something in the sand that's pretty deep. It's basically an arrow in the way we were going. Just in case. Huh. Huh. That's it. Okay. Sweet. Uh, we gotta talk about an elephant in the room. Now, I think it's only fair to break these rules down to you guys because it's something that the party is going to have to start thinking about now that this has been discussed. At the very least with Kaluna. I want to discuss lycanthropy and the rules for just a moment. Oh boy. My favorite rules. Well, something in 4E I didn't like was basically it's a one and done save.

Something happens, you either save or you wolf out. I didn't really like that. So, kind of redid things. Think of stress as a pool of hit points that you have and things are going to influence that day to day. You might start with 20, but if you're having a very stressful day, slowly things whittle at that. Getting stuck in traffic, going and not eating when you should, having a bad day at work, that type of thing. Things chip away at that. Adventurer's lifestyle is pretty much the same. Let's say getting stuck in the desert, being grimy and not getting a shower, getting into fights, getting all that stuff slowly grinds at you.

Now, that pool of 20 is going to be chipped at through the day, but if you get a bad night's sleep, if you, let's say you go to sleep in the desert and you wake up in the same desert, you're going to start with a smaller pool of hit points. So here's how this system works. Right now, based on the amount of stress that Merrick is dealing with and all of this stuff, he has 12 of these stress hit points, whatever you want to call them. And every time you guys get into a stressful situation, I'm going to have him roll a d4. And slowly, throughout the day, that's going to be something that's probably going to be fairly visible.

He's going to be more frazzled. He's going to be more on edge. When he hits zero? Now, obviously it's not something that's going to be constantly in play or whatever. It's mostly something I'm going to be keeping track of behind the scenes, so you don't have to worry about it. But I did feel like it's something that you guys should know about. At the end of the day, Merrick's going to roll a con saving throw. Whatever the number is that comes up on that die, we add those back to the hit points, and that's basically him resting and recharging and sort of starting the day fresh the next day.

Does that sound okay? Yeah, it's pretty cool. One more thing. Let's say the worst happens and Merrick does wolf out. If you guys are in combat and you're fighting something, Werewolf Merrick is going to continue to plow ahead and just rip through the things that you guys are fighting. The problem comes after you're done fighting whatever it is that you're fighting, Werewolf Merrick isn't going to stop. He's going to continue until there's pretty much nothing on the battlefield left but Werewolf Merrick. And that's a thing you guys are going to have to deal with.

Does that sound good? So let me make sure I understand. So if we're fighting six kobolds and we all start fighting hand to hand, kobold, whatever, fighting. Then it's not like I'm going to turn and start chewing on Clara. We're going to go through the kobolds first. Is that kind of the way it works? Pretty much. Clear enemy. Yes. Well, okay. Think of it like this. Everyone's kind of the enemy to Werewolf Merrick. That type of thing. So if you're surrounded by three kobolds, you're not going to turn and fight the party while these kobolds still exist. Now, if there's a couple of kobolds mixed in with the rest of the party while they're fighting hand to hand but you're segregated to yourself, you're going to deal with all those kobolds first.

Then it becomes a little more muddled. Yeah. So it's like in Werewolf Brain, there's like a new clear enemy. And then let's get that off the plate. Yep. That's it. Sounds awesome. This is going to be great. Did you have to say plate? But again, that might not even come up. That's a problem for future Group C. I'm sure it won't. I'm sure it won't. No, I just have to get that out there so it's not a complete surprise to everybody. Dude, I just imagine this happening while he was in his restaurant. Like, "Sir, a round of bread." That's the straw. Like, he's just already having a bad day.

Someone didn't bake the back out bread. I mean... That's how it works, right? You could have a shitty day and just like the smallest thing could be like that thing that you roll for and you get a one and you just lose it, right? It's just like real life. Like, it really is like the coat hangers that you're trying to put things up in the closet and you're just like, "Nrrraaaah!" Right? Yes. Everything adds up. Makes sense to me. So let's get back to this camping situation. You're not stuck, but it is a thing. You're kind of waiting out that noonday sun. You're letting your horse get a bit of a break.

You guys are stretching your legs and just... This is your... Golly, what is this? Your fourth day in the desert? Officially? Third or fourth day? You are filthy and grimy. That sand irritates the skin after a while and you are just coated in your own sweat. You all smell. It is a miserable experience. At the end of each day, you're basically either crashing on the cart or you're laying down in sand. This is just awful. How would everyone be feeling at this point? How do you feel like conversation would go? How do you keep your sanity? It's kind of easy for Avalon because the more the situation rises, the more stakes are on the line, the more he feels like he has a purpose.

He feels like, "Alright, we're coming into hard times. Everyone's miserable. We have to survive." That's why he's going around making sure things that happened don't happen again. He's not really worried about talking to people. He doesn't realize everyone's miserable socially. He's just trying to be useful. I think whenever we stop, I think Efni would try and distribute water and rations if people wanted them. She'd be trying to keep busy, trying to be helpful, but I think the situation is really starting to get to where she'd probably be clenching fists or gritting her teeth at times.

She's really fed up of all the sand and the heat. How would Elrath be feeling at this point? Probably pretty bad. I feel like she'd be pretty contemplative, just thinking really hard about stuff and trying her best to still look as tough as she can while feeling gross. She'll talk if people come up to her, but it just looks like she's lost in thought at the moment. While Efni's handing water out and rations, I think he would gesture like, "I want to take some water over to Elrath for a second. I want to have a moment." So he would take her the water if that's cool and just slump near her a little bit.

Looking kind of guilty, basically. How's it going? It's been a while. Well, not feeling that great, but I guess it's okay. I don't think "okay" is the word that would come to mind. We're trying to get you as quickly to something that can heal you as possible, and it seems like everything's gotten in the way. That's okay. No, it's not okay. Well, it's not, but it's not like you guys are like, "Well, fuck you!" Well, yeah, we didn't leave you on the side of the road. No. No, I'm sorry. I just don't feel good. The thing is, I appreciate the face you're putting on this, but you gotta know I feel really bad because if it weren't for me poking around on a dead body and shoving stuff at you, you wouldn't have picked up that thing.

Oh. This wouldn't have happened. I probably still would have. I mean, I could have been wearing gloves like a normal person or something, but like, no. It's not your fault. You didn't know, and I didn't know. I didn't know, but still, it's the way it is, right? As an adventurer, you don't just pick up stuff and you don't just throw something at somebody else and say, "Pick it up." You gotta be careful, and I don't think I was being careful, and maybe I'm out of practice. But anyway, I just wanted you to know I'm sorry. Well, I'm not mad at you. No, but I'm sorry.

Well, I don't accept it because it's not needed, but I forgive you if that's what you want. Please give me this. Alright, here's- She'll give you like a weak smile. She likes messing with you as much as she can. I know. Merrick appreciates that, too. So he hands the water over and is like, "We're gonna fix this. We're gonna get there as quick as we can. No more sandstorms, okay?" That would be great. Alright. I would imagine after a while, you guys are gonna get back on the road here. Oh no. Doesn't forgive me. In the chat, Aveline said, "Merrick gains C6 stress." Because she didn't forgive me.

That'd be great, by the way. You know what? No, fuck you. Forgive me now. Die. So the cool thing is you guys are going to continue to march through the desert here. You know what I'd like? Here's something I'd like. Two things. One, I would like- Brie, give me a D12. Oh, can't Jane do it again? Nope. But Jane's good at them. You got this. Okay. So that's six more miles. That's not many miles. That's fine. That's pretty good. That's half a dice. Yeah. Now, here's another thing I'd like you to do while we're doing this. Could you do me a favor and roll a flat D20 for me?

Me? Oh yeah. That's an eight. That is an eight. We're going towards one. Jason, I love you. Just remember that. I love you too. We bonded this time. We did. And I appreciate that. Okay. I look like our bond is strong enough to overcome anything that might happen in this game. It is. I have no such fun with you, Jason, and I will drop you like a sack of taters. So you guys are going to continue to trek. Now, during the day, it's a little more slow going, right? It's hot. It's nasty. The breeze isn't exactly refreshing. At night, it's a nice cool breeze kind of wafting off the dunes.

And it's relaxing enough that you could probably get some sleep. Again, still grimy and sweaty and all that stuff. It'd be nice if you could just get a damn shower. But it's cooler. During the day, there are no such luxuries. It's just rough. Let's subtract 12 gallons of water. Now, Jason, when can I roll for that oasis showing up? I think I just did. All right. You have 16 gallons of water left. So I'm assuming that d20 was for how many naked elves are going to be at this oasis, right? I had only eight, though. Keep dreaming, boy. That's only some of us get to have two.

That's fresh water. One lucky person gets to have three. Maybe we have to fight over that one. So eventually the party is going to notice that above you, vultures are beginning to circle. I'm not saying it. Are we a cartoon? Vultures are a real thing. Yes, I love them. They're good pals. Well, hold on to that thought. So these things, you're going to notice them. They're rather large, actually. Some would call them giant vultures. Would they? Some would. I'm not saying everyone. It depends on how you measure your vultures from back home. Excellent point. So the good news is the rest of the day, nothing terrible is going to happen.

And you guys have a choice to make. You have made some excellent time. You've covered a lot of ground. And it appears as though, at least for right now, that you're heading in the right direction. You seem to be on the right path based on the things that Charles told you before your trek. And generally just reading the terrain. Now you could double down and try to continue throughout the night again. Or you could all just try to get some sleep. I feel like if we sleep, they will eat us in the night. But it would probably be better for everybody to get a rest.

IDK. What are they just like perpetually flying above us, just waiting for the signal? They're sleeping, boys. Dive. Well, OK. They're stationary. One, I would imagine that you guys are going to take turns. Like there's someone standing guard. You're not just going to wake up to a vulture eating your feet. I mean, you never know. Somebody could roll him out in time. Oh no, my toes! Tickle, tickle, tickle. Oh no, they're gone. Oh no. I don't think any of us are like hunters from a distance. Plus we have food right now. Jason hasn't mentioned that we're running way lower in water than food at the moment.

Yeah, and that's a thing. A trek like this, it's a hell of a lot easier to stock up on dried meats and some bread and stuff like that. Like I was talking to Bree before this, a pound of dried meat is going to be a heck of a lot easier to shove in your backpacks than a gallon of water. A pound of dried meat weighs a pound. A gallon of water is about eight. So it's tougher to stock up on water. And not to mention, water is going to be a higher premium where you are right now than food. Right. So we don't really need to kill the vultures. We just have to make sure that they don't eat us or attack us in any way.

Right. I have questions about the vultures. Lay it on me. I imagine they're like way out of range of anything that I have, but how high up are they? It depends at any given moment. They're probably... Okay, if you see them circling above, they're pretty damn far up there. But everyone saw they're going to land ahead of you. Yeah, I figured it wouldn't be anywhere close enough to actually use anything. Okay, so approximately like how big... Oh yeah, they have a wingspan of exactly this big. Like compared to us, like if they were the sort of animal that swooped down and grabbed things...

You're not going to carry you off. They're still birds. Yeah, I didn't think so. Especially because vultures aren't made for that, I don't think. Not really, no. They're way... Okay, even Therian vultures, they're scavengers. Now, a giant vulture is essentially about double or triple the size of a regular vulture. So obviously a regular vulture is just a large bird. This vulture would be about the... Well, okay, they would be about the size of an ephini. Oh. It's a big bird. But even one, they're not going to carry ephini off because they're birds. It's not a pterodactyl.

Well, how big is Ephini exactly? This is just me thinking about real birds. Refulpipes. I don't know. I feel like the vultures that live near me are very close to that size. Well, Texas is a health scheme filled with terrible things. Yeah, I'm just trying to get it into perspective in my mind. I'm building up the world for myself. Right, Texas is the Australia of America. I was going to say something like that. I really was. You guys got fire ants and fucking... You guys don't have fire ants? No! No. That is actually a shot. I mean, no. No. They're everywhere. They're ants.

Come on. They have not migrated up this far yet. We do have armadillos now up here. Neither. So thanks for that. Well, no problem. Enjoy your diseases. Yeah. They're plague carriers. They are. Rolling ball for you. They're very cute though. Speaking of plague carriers... Hey. Yowsh. All around this is my favorite armadillo. Exactly. Okay. What's our conundrum at the moment? What do we have to decide? Basically to continue through the night again and kind of push yourselves. How's everybody doing? How many people can sleep in the back? Yeah. Next to each other giving Elorath a little extra.

Well, this is... I always pictured it as a thing where someone has to take turns and walk beside the cart or something like that. Or you could kind of bundle... you could do a puppy pile type of thing. But it's like a little flatbed cart type of situation. It's more meant to carry your things than the entire party. And before you guys think that shit's cute, remember you all stink. Yeah. But we all stink, so like we're used to the stink. I know that we want to get to the place as fast as possible, but I am worried about exhausting the horse. Right. That too.

And as long as we're sleeping, at least we're not drinking water. Excellent point. So let's just make it be part of the deal that we're paying attention to the horse. Just sort of along and along. We're like paying special care to the horse no matter what. I honestly feel like we don't have a choice now. I think that whoever can sleep in the back, whoever can drive needs to drive. And we'll take turns. And then, like, Marigold will just walk. I will remind you that this horse has not had a night's sleep. And horses are going to act... Yeah. So you guys can take turns and take naps.

The horse is constantly going, so that is a thought. Alright. Fine. We do have to do that. That's like we can't let our engine die. It might be a good idea just to let us sleep for the night. Okay. Alright. Everyone, yeah, take turns, but everyone get some sleep. Everyone let the horse sleep. But like five or six hours and we gotta go. Night time. 20th of Yesty. Everyone's going to set up a little campsite here. And you guys are going to relax for the evening. Is there anything anyone would like to do while it's a little cooler out? And you guys are probably sitting down to a really sad dried meat or hunk of bread type of dinner.

There's not a hell of a lot of stuff to hunt for. There's not a lot of fresh meat. So Clara will kind of, just while they're eating, approach Elorath and take out her deck of cards that I got from being a soldier. And kind of just raise her eyes at Elorath and go, do you know how to play solitaire? Can I? No. Can I watch? Yeah. And Clara will sit down and let's not explain the rules of solitaire. Let's just say that she's kind of like explaining the rules as she's laying the cards out. Because it's a game that you like she explains like it's a game you can play by yourself, which is why she's teaching you because you're in the cart all day.

Oh no. And she's just teaching her. But like as she's playing with herself, she'll kind of half look over to Elorath. How are you holding up? Um, I think I'm okay for right now, but I really, really wish that you and I could go punch each other like we used to. Because I don't like not moving. Clara will just kind of like give a little half chuckle at that because the wording was so weird. She's in her head. She's like, what a way to word that. Words are her strong suit. And she'll kind of give Elorath a little nudge because like as much as she's afraid of getting sick, she's got a mask and gloves.

She's probably the safest of all of us. We don't have a dwarf in the party. That would be the safest. Or she. But like, yeah, I miss that too. So did you like, did you learn to play this with maybe like your family or somebody? So she'll just nod and this whole time, like while they're talking, she's staying busy with the cards a little bit. It's almost like as long as I'm doing this, the conversation isn't as heavy as it would be if we were just talking to each other. But she'll nod and she'll just say there's there's a lot of downtime. So anything to eat up a few hours.

Are they are they still like down there? Yeah. My mom is. Did you did you like did you get to say goodbye when when you came out here? Yeah. She'll kind of look over at Elarath because I imagine she already knows where that's going. But she's like, it's just a quick look over like, oh, God, please no. But then look back down at the cards. Yeah, I I left my mom a while ago, but I went to Aubrey to live with my dad. And before I set out, we had a big party and he made me cake. Oh, you have family, not not blood family anymore, because like I never got like my mom and sister.

They they died in a fire. Right. And then I went to Ebony Harbor and I was raised up there. And so, like, I never got to say bye because I wasn't there. And I did say bye to him. I was with like a party. And then we went to Aubrey, like you. And then we left from Aubrey and then like a couple of them died on the way. And then like more of them died in Lockford with like the werewolves and stuff. And then like another one got lost after like a troll or something. And so like, I don't know. I just been thinking about that. Because like, if I'm going to die, I want to say goodbye to you guys first, because that kind of sucks.

And she's like not looking at you when she's saying that. She's like staring fixedly at the cards. Clara will kind of she'll be looking down at the cards, too, but she's not really playing anymore. And if anyone knows the rules of solitary, the way it works is it kind of gets easier as you go along until the moment you lose. So there's definitely a move she could be doing, but she's just not doing it. And you can see that her eyes are misting over just a bit. Just she doesn't want to talk about this. And it's really sad because she cares about Alarath a lot.

But she knows it's something that needs to be discussed. So she just nods. Well, you don't have to worry about that yet. You're you're still going really strong. And if you want the the person that you said raised you, the one that you did get to say goodbye to, if you want to write him a letter or something, just give me a name. And she'll kind of look over and meet Alarath's eyes to prove that she means that, like, I will find this motherfucker. That's so sweet. I'm sorry. Excuse me. And then she'll look back down at the cards. For us. Just if there's anything you need to say, it's fine.

Just get it out, because even if you're fine, then it just means that you said some nice things, right? Hopefully. And then she'll kind of laugh unless you're going to call us all cunts and then, uh, well, you can air that out. No. No, I just I've really liked training with you over the last like three months and. I don't want to go, but if I do, I've really liked being your friend. So thank you. Clara's going to wrap her arm around Alarath and just pull her like close to the side like she knows she shouldn't. But that's too that's too sweet not to like give her a little hug.

She'll kind of chuckle. She'll be like, I don't know if you want to do that. And then she'll kind of she'll push her away, but give her like a little punch to the arm. She's liquefying. And then she'll glance over the fire where everyone else is. Do you remember the day I first approached you? Oh, I remember most of it. I think I was pretty bloody. She got hit in the head a lot. Yeah, that happens. You were fighting in the ring. Underground when when you were back in the fighting ring and you got fucked up. You didn't fall down. Not the harder that guy hit you.

He was like twice your size. Most people are. The harder he hit you, the harder you fought back. And you fought fucking dirty. Well, yeah. And that's what you're going to do now. That's what you're going to do now is you're going to fight and you're going to make it through this. OK. I hope so. So she'll without finishing the game, she's going to put all the cards back into the deck and hand it to Alarath. Here. That way you can at least do something while you're in the back. Thank you. Hey, Alarath. First of all, that was incredibly touching. Thank you. It's time for us to roll again.

OK. I'm going to get my glasses. I had to take them off for a second. OK. That was really touching. Let's roll and see if you die right now. OK. It's not. I was wondering when it would come up, because it's been like a day and a half. Yeah. All right. Do me a favor. Roll roll a con check with disadvantage. Oh, shoot. I forgot I had disadvantage. OK. And I'm actually going to roll a save this time and not just a con save. Yes. Oh, I rolled the exact same thing on both dies. Isn't that good? No, no. Sorry. Isn't that the number we were trying to hit? That is the number we're trying to hit.

So you are going to stay stable. However, let's roll for your physical appearance. Oh, OK. Same deal. Disadvantage. Same deal. Wow. My other was a 19. I just say very strange now. That that's that's very good. I'm I'm very happy. So Elrath is still going to still going to be feeling not great, obviously. But her condition isn't going to worsen any. And that's that's really good. Physically, appearance wise, it's going to worsen a little bit based on what she's been rolling so far. So probably like heavy circles under her eyes, probably a nice little sheen of sweat constantly.

Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely definitely if someone showed up to work looking at it, it's like, dude, you look awful. You should go home and get some sleep, like that type of thing. But obviously, everyone knows you're sick. So it's not this shouldn't be a shocker. This is just I would imagine everyone's like, wow, that that's catching up to you. Finally, that type of thing. So no lesions or anything like that yet. Great. Unless anyone has anything else they'd like to do. I'm going to I'm going to advance time. We're going to get to the cyborg vultures. Oh, boy.

Yes, I know. Yeah, that's the we're going to cut all that middle bit out and this is going to be really confusing. It's going to be super. Guys, go to our Patreon, listen to behind the scenes. That's basically it's good. So it is the 21st of yes. You guys have about 16 miles to go. You've come a long way. You also have about 16 gallons of water left. So it's getting down to the wire with a good night's sleep. Relatively under everyone's belts. We're going to get back on the road here. And again, it's I'd say it's just before dawn, something like that. You want to get on the road and get going before before the sun really starts beating down on you.

We'll go with the same logic that you are. You're taking a rest at the peak of the sun and getting back on the road. Let's see here. Elarath. Oh, OK. Do me a favor and roll a flat D12. See, last time I rolled really high. So this time I'm going to roll really low. Yeah. Well, maybe. It's not bad. Not so bad. I guess. Not bad at all. So, throughout the course of today, you are going to travel eight miles. Now, today, maybe you had a bit of hard luck. There's some stops that you'd have to make, you know, a couple of things like that. Kaluna. Hey, could you do me a favor?

Roll a flat D20 for me. I'd rather not, but I will. Thank you. Hey, 14. Very nice. So you remember those vultures I was talking about? They're progressively getting closer to the cart, sort of testing the waters. So they'll be circling above, but they'll also do the thing where they they'll they'll land on something or they'll they'll kind of like a like a like an old bit of tree or something. And they'll just sort of be watching the cart the entire time. So there will be periods where you're you're sort of rambling past and they're maybe 10, 15 feet away, something like that.

But they are getting gradually closer. Whenever Kaluna notices them getting closer, can they just like they're not necessarily going to like attack the vultures, but they will sort of like do a thorn whip and just sort of like make it like crack in the air. Sort of like a "shoo, get out of here" type of thing. Yeah, just like fuck off. Right. Begone. So that's going to work. That's going to work pretty damn well. Where every time that's like, OK, OK, OK. But they're not going to scoot from the area. They're still circling. Kaluna's just like just so fed up with everything.

Like, I think they're still like touching at their face every now and then with like phantom tingles and just it's hot. They're gross. They're itchy. So they're just like, get out of here, you fuckers. Right. I don't need to do any more shit. I don't like this. Yeah, let's take it easy there, Jason. Yeah. You know, that's that's just me. Don't worry about that. So don't worry about any. I don't know. I thought we were a family. We didn't keep roles to ourselves. That's just me. I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other, Jason. But I guess I guess we were wrong.

Yeah. You know, those rules are public. You can see them. So that's more than a lot of DMs I give you. At a point. So this the day's just going to keep grinding along. Right. And then eventually the sun's going to start to set. I would like someone to do me a favor. Give me a nature check in the. I mean, I think we both know, Jason, we don't want to roll anything. I might I might actually roll a 20. Hold on. You know me. Does anyone other than me want to do this role? Is this a thing where. Hey, Kolluna, you're the nature guy. I, I still think it's Kolluna. OK. I mean, just frazzled.

I still I still trust. I wasn't finished with my sentence. I was saying, but I think in this case we would probably like to go with someone else. Can I can I make an honest statement, though? Uh huh. I think, like, aside from like the vultures, Kolluna has been like not in a good place. Like I said, they're still like rubbing at their face every now and then. Like me. So if anyone is like Kolluna's been acting weird. I'd say that was a point to make before the roll, too. Yeah. I'd say everyone's pretty stressed. Everyone's probably got a nervous tick. Everyone's probably a little irritable.

Everyone's. So I don't know. I'd also like to point out that Merrick and Aviland know Kolluna fucked up before. So if they were just like I would have said this, even if it was a high roll, I promise, because I've been thinking about this for two weeks. Just like if anyone wants to second guess Kolluna, like this is the most obvious time. No, I think no, I think Merrick was it was just like, you know, that was a fluke. You retired or whatever, because he has enough history with your nature to know that that's not I think he would still trust that, even if it was a couple of fuck ups.

I can't wait for us all to die because we trust each other. That said, this was a very bad roll. Yeah. What what better way is there to die than in the arms of trust? You know, that's a great. Wait, no, I don't understand that at all. No, no. Well, boy, howdy. That's a five everyone at home. Yeah. Now, in terms of in terms of tracking something or again in the desert, it is very difficult. It's not like there's a ton of there's not a ton of landmarks or something like that. So basically you're in a strange place. You're you're trying and boy, I'd say if we're doing if we're doing difficulty checks and stuff like that, it wouldn't be a crazy high number.

But that's a really low one. So what I'd like you to do, could you do me a favor and roll a flat T10? Oh, OK. Mm hmm. It's a seven. That's great. Seven worms. Seven hours of a sandstorm. So what's going to happen is you guys are going to get lost. You're going to see going to veer off for seven minutes. We're going to take seven miles back on time. Damn it. Seven miles. You know what it is, guys? Kaluna's too focused on scaring the leaf vultures. Oh, seven miles. We're going to die out here. Remember, one roll was six miles. OK. Hey, I rolled an eight. Yeah, I was about to say, you guys have made great time so far.

So throughout the day, here's the situation. It's the 21st. You have about 15 miles to go now. Basically, this is the thing where it's like you figure it out. At this point, I'd say you'd start to maybe question Kaluna's accuracy. This is the last straw. Once Kaluna realizes that they fucked up, they didn't even know they fucked up the last time. I don't know if they even know that they contributed the last time. Definitely not. This time Kaluna's just sort of like they realize they fucked up. And they're kind of through a little bit of a tantrum. Just a little bit.

They're just going to sort of like stomp in place and kind of like... They don't have hair to clap, but they're going to do something similar to whenever you're real frustrated and you get your hands in your hair and just kind of pull. They're just going to do that and freak out a little bit. So wait, I want to understand how this sort of played out. So the nature check was done. We continued to go. At what point did Kaluna look up at the stars and say, "Oh, crap." Basically as soon as they could see stars. So this is the sun starts to set and that at least is some sort of landmark.

You can go, "Okay, okay. Oh no." Whatever navigation tricks and tools that I think it would be a thing with. Basically you marched all day in the wrong direction, at least to some degree. You veered off to the left or right or whatever. It's like, "Oh, fuck." It's that. Have you guys ever been in a situation like your car is stranded in the middle of nowhere? You're something. You feel like you have a handle on things. You're like, "Okay, look. There's present day. There's plenty of ways to get help." Then slowly but surely those start getting stripped away.

Maybe your cell phone dies. Maybe you're on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere where no one's going to come help you. Your battery's dead or you have a two flat tire or something. You realize, "No one knows I'm here. I could be in some real trouble. I don't remember seeing a gas station for miles. What do I do?" Maybe if I'm lucky, an axe murderer will show up and pay the pass instead of slow. Jesus, Jason. What am I doing out there? I must be selling heavy. My point being, even if you're stuck in, let's say, a Walmart parking lot, right? You're stuck in a Walmart parking lot, and this has happened to me and Bree recently, where it's like, "Okay, we're right next to a store.

We went and purchased tools. We did this." It's like, "Okay, fine. We're fine." Then it's like, "Cell phones are starting to get low. Store closed. We don't know anybody in this area. This could start getting bad." Then you start getting that feeling in your chest that's like, "I don't have complete control over the situation. Uh-oh." It starts getting worse and worse. Eventually, I would imagine a panic starts to wrap around the party, where it's like, "Oh, no, wait. This is getting really bad." Imagine your cart is bouncing up and down in the sand. This has been days now in the desert.

You are hot and tired, and you still have food, but the last bits of water, the last few gallons of water are sloshing around in this barrel in the back. It's getting to the point now where you really got to kind of filter out sand if you go get some water. This is not great. Thanks. No, really? I'm just trying to paint a picture here. Throw up. We drink the horse water now. Merrick pees a lot, and everybody drinks Merrick's pee. Oh, we're water-worlding it. Okay, cool. I think once Kaluna figures it out, they just have their mini meltdown, and then they sort of realize, "Oh, that's not good for morale," and they kind of abruptly stop, take a deep breath, turn around.

We're going the wrong way. Kaluna's going to look at Merrick, double-check us from now on. Fucking please. Okay. I think his head would drop. Now, is this the moment where Merrick would look at Avalon? Yes. Absolutely. First it's like, "Oh, fuck," head down, eyes closed, like, "This is not good," and then head back up, look at Kaluna, and then glance to Avalon. He returned your glance, and he just kind of sinks back, kind of like when you found out the first time we were lost. He just kind of flinks back. He's looking a little familiar now. Yeah. So is this when Kaluna's going to have a tantrum?

I believe it was tantrums, then turned around calmly. Kaluna already had the tantrum. You can tell that Kaluna still wants to be having that tantrum, but they're done for now. Okay. So Merrick's going to--we haven't stopped yet, but Merrick's going to stop. I'm assuming Merrick's driving. I don't know why I assumed that. I hope that's okay. Cool? Cool? Great. Everyone's fighting for the driver's seat. I don't know. I just figured that's the kind of thing that he would just-- I've been assuming Avalon's been shot-gunned, so it's fine. Yeah. That's kind of just in my head that's been the scene for the whole time.

Okay. So Merrick's going to just stop, stop the horse, stop the cart, and he's not saying anything. He's not going to look at anybody, and he's going to jump off of the driver's seat cart area and then start to walk away from the cart slowly, and he's going to lift up his hand and sort of motion, like, "Come here." And it should be pretty clear that it's meant for Kaluna. Kaluna is going-- As he walks past-- They're still frustrated, but they're still angry, but then they see Merrick walk away, and they're like, "Okay, he just needs to cool off." And then they see the hand motion, and they kind of tense up even more, and then they kind of lower their head and walk over.

Very much like a little kid, like, "Great. Great. Everything's already bad. Now I'm going to get in trouble." Yeah, as you walk past, everybody's just like, "Ooh." Kaluna flits double birds. One second before we catch up with this. How would the rest of the party-- How would Elrath and Efni and Clara be feeling? Because this is party-wide now. Everyone knows. It's like, "Are you--" Like, how would you feel about this? "Ugh." That's it. No words. Just a loud ass moan in the back? Yeah. Efni's been really trying hard to keep it together, but I think at this point she would probably punch the side of the cat.

It'll probably do very little because she's a wee-cat, but she's going to really push the cat. Clara is practicing some deep breathing exercises. Like, for real, she took a few steps away from the situation. She's just, "Okay." Like, that kind of thing. Like, "Got to keep going. There's nothing else we can--" Basically, she's doing what Merrick did the other night when Merrick hid everything that was going wrong from us. Like, now it's her turn, whereas Merrick has whatever's about to happen is happening. Let's find out what's happening. So, I imagine-- This is far enough away to get out of earshot, but not so far away that we're getting lost away from-- Right.

We're not in a sandstorm and never seen again, hopefully. Or Merrick kills Melissa Coluna and buries Coluna, and then comes back, "I don't know." "I don't know. They just ran off. They just left." Merrick climbs his dagger. Yeah, this was, "Shh, it's all over. It's best for everyone. Shh." Less water consumption. I just want Merrick to find a dagger and be like, "You remember this?" A couple more twists. Hey, too far. Sorry. Too soon. I'm not there. Merrick's going to look back at the car to make sure that they're far enough away, and he's going to say, "Hey, what's going on?" Listen, because I know Coluna looks probably pretty like a puppy, right?

Tail between legs kind of a thing. No, listen, I'm not mad. Don't think that-- I mean, come on. It's me. Coluna's going to tense up more, just like, "Oh, no. He's not mad. He's disappointed." No, no. It's me. It's me. Don't-- Cut it out. I'm not mad. You don't have to worry about that. I get it. I'm worried that something's not okay. What's going on? Are you-- I know we're all at the end of our rope, and this sucks. This is not what I signed up for and not what you were thinking was going to happen when we left Fair Bay. Is everything okay? I imagine it was very much a mix-up between, like, they're saying you're like a puppy, just like, "Oh, no," but also, like, their arms crossed across their chest and kind of like an angry, just moody team.

Defensive. Whatever. Dead. But once Merrick gets through all that, they're going to just, like-- They're going to look back at the cart, and they're going to try and keep their gesturing to a minimum so that everyone doesn't see that they're kind of freaking the fuck out. They're going to go, "Oh, Merrick, we don't know what's wrong. Maybe we're in the middle of a fucking desert where we didn't want to be in the first place, and we're running out of water, and it's our fault, and we had sand thrown at our face for eight hours, and it hurt a lot." [sighs] [laughs] Merrick will let all of that wash over like a big wave of water, and he'll just stand there and hold his breath while it happens, and then he's just going to just sort of come forward and just super hug Kaluna.

Kaluna, in very un-Kaluna-like fashion, is not going to hug back. They're just going to stand there, they're going to accept the hug, but they're just sort of like-- They've got their fists at their sides, and they're shaking, and they're just trying to take deep breaths. Just-- [inhales, exhales] So Merrick is going to-- Merrick is-- He's still hugging, right? And he's not whispering, he's just going to say this, just like regular voice, "This kind of happened last night, too. I didn't want to tell you, but yeah, I don't think we're going to use you for directions anymore." Kaluna's going to-- When he's like, "This happened last night, too." But Kaluna's going to stiffen up, and they're going to very pointedly, just slowly put their hands on Merrick's shoulders, and push him back, and keep him at arm's length.

Aww. And they're going to say, "You. You let us do it again." "We did this already, and you let us do it again." Listen, everybody makes mistakes, we've all made mistakes, and you've had countless times of getting us where we needed to go, and finding what we needed to find. So look, that was because you were tired. This is because we've been in the desert for days, and we're going to die. I get it. So, you're not-- You're not doing anything wrong, this is just mistakes. That's it. That's all it is. There are mistakes that'll get us killed, Merrick. You know what?

I made a mistake, and I'm going to get one of us killed, and then all of us killed. So, it probably would have been better if you hadn't come and got me in Fair Bay, right? None of this would be happening if that hadn't happened. So, we could keep doing this all day. What's the point of going somewhere if we aren't going with you, though? Dummy. So, Merrick-- Merrick's just going to come back towards Kaluna, instead of the arm's length that Kaluna pushed him away, and he's going to say, "I'm starting to wear thin." So, we've got to get out of here, and we've got to push through.

It doesn't matter-- As long as that horse is still alive, and isn't about to keel over, we've got to get where we're going, and we've got to fix this, and we've got to just right this ship right now. And I'm going to need your help, okay? And I need your support, because, like I said, it's not going to be too much longer before the next thing that's going to happen for everybody is a werewolf that's going to be driving the cart. So, I need you to help me out, all right? Keep me grounded. I hate to break the tension of the moment, but I just imagined, like, a big old werewolf driving the tiny cart.

Just curled up in the front with the little bitty reins in his paws. Anyway, Kaluna's going to sort of straighten up and take one more calming breath, and I think it's very apparent to Merrick that Kaluna's still, like, very much frazzled and in a bad place. But they're going to gently take his face, sort of bump their foreheads together, and then they're going to just do a couple of pat pats on his face with one of their hands, and they'll say, "We can take care of the horse. We don't think we can fuck that up." And they're going to give him, like, a little shaky smile, like, "Ha!" Merrick is going to give a quizzical look, like, "Oh, maybe." And then he's going to put his arm around Kaluna and just say, "Okay, come on.

We got to go, and we've got to rally everybody because we're all wearing really thin, and maybe they're not all going to be werewolves, but we're going to be vulture food soon if we don't. So, you got to help me help them, all right? Let's do it." Kaluna beelines are for the horse. Just like, "I can do this job. I can do this one. I'm good at this." Okay. And they're going to give the horse a pep talk, even though it probably doesn't need one. They're just trying to make themselves feel better at this point. You can do it. You can do this. All right, look here, horse.

I know you've been going the wrong way this whole time. Yeah. Everybody makes mistakes, horse. It's a horse mistake. Don't get it. You don't get it. A horse stake. All right. Horse stake. Mm, yum. Uh-huh. Horse stake sounds delicious. It really does, especially right about now. Merrick is going to ... So, Kaluna's going to beeline to the horse. Merrick's going to beeline to get whatever little bit of water, just kind of like a snack, right? Like a little pick-me-up. And he's going to just get everybody some water real quick. Like, "Here you go. Come on. All right. We're going to go.

We got to make this right. Let's go. Let's do it." And he's going to sort of clap his hands together and rub them together like, "All right. Back on the train. Back on the train, everybody." Kaluna from By the Horse goes, "Whoo." As your ... You know what? Hold on. I swear to fucking God. As you're giving this little pep talk, one of the vultures is going to land on the edge of the cart. Kaluna immediately just, "No," and just thorn whip. Whoa. We need that to ... Not killing the bird. Again, not killing the bird. Don't want to start a fight with the vultures if we don't have to.

But just the whip crack right ... Barely close to it. Just like, "No. I've put up with too much shit today." Well, there's a couple of things you're going to notice. One, it's going to land near Elorath and just kind of like ... It's almost like it's examining. How dare you. Does it rub its wings together like ... Almost. Can she reach it? She wants to slap at it. Okay. That's between the thorn rip and it's like, "Whoa. Okay. Okay." You're going to notice the amount of distance the vultures get from you is dwindling. Like, "Okay." The first time ... Let's say you fired a gun in the air.

It's like, "Whoa," and everyone just scares. Whoa. Eventually, it's like, "All right. All right. All right." Then they back up like six to 10 feet. It's like, "I'll be over here." Like that type of thing. They start figuring out, "Oh, you're only firing warning shots." Yeah. You don't have the guts. It's like ... And they may tie that to like, "All right. You're getting weaker. We'll bide our time." That type of thing. So, it is ... Question. Yes. Okay. Does the vulture have like a cloth dinner napkin as a bib around it? Does it have a top hat and little gloves?

The menu has like a really exact portrait of Alarath on it. Like really beautifully done. Like you had it commissioned a few days ago. I'll have that. I'll have one of that. She's got an apple in her mouth. The menu's like in the sand and they're just looking at it and looking back at Alarath. Slow roasted. Let me get this straight. So, there's been a lot of ... It's true. It has been ... Besides already liquefied. Delicious. At least we didn't stick a beer can in there. A molten Alarath. How far away is a vulture right this second? After shooing it away? Yep. It'll drop back a bit.

Like 10 feet. Something like that. How far is the next closest vulture? Up ahead? Wherever it is. Up in the sky or ahead. Well, most of them are ... Here's the thing. Towards nighttime most of them are doing the thing where they'll kind of perch down the road, so to speak, a bit. So like they're staggered. They're ... Yeah. But they're very much surrounding you. Speaking of staggered, Merrick is going to take his dagger and whip it at the vulture. Let's see if he can just get it. Okay. Do me a favor. Roll an attack. Well, how do I do that? Oh, shit here. How do I play D&D?

Well, I mean, we're not in combat, so I'm trying to ... No, no, no. You don't have to target anything. Just ... Oh, is that your silver dagger you're throwing? Well, it's the only one that I had up here. I thought we traded, so it's technically ... We did trade. It's technically a plain dagger. Okay, so you're going to whip a dagger at this bird, and you are going to hit it. And it's going to stumble around a bit and just kind of let this horrendous like ... Like just this terrible noise and then fall down dead. Okay, perfect. Merrick's going to walk right on over.

He's going to get the dagger, clean it off, stick it back wherever he puts his daggers, which I don't want to talk about. And he's going to check the vulture, make sure it's dead, and then he's going to pick it up. Is it big enough that he would sort of put it over his shoulder, or would he like ... You'd have to ... Or drag it? Probably the neck, I suppose, yeah, but it's a weighty bird. Okay, so maybe drag it. Yeah. All right, so he's going to pick up the ... He's going to bite the neck, by the way. Just pick it ... This is all sort of like enough. Like this is after a couple of days in the desert.

Everybody's not okay. He's going to be like throw the dagger, walk over, get the dagger, pick the damn bird's head up, drag it. And he's going to come back over to the cart, and he's going to go, "Dinner." And we're just all watching this in silence. Kaluna's eyes are going to light up, sort of like, "Oh, we're playing this game now." And so they're going to eyeball all the other vultures. Not going to do anything, but just sort of like ... If vultures could understand what was going on, they would understand. Do we have a tiny stake that we can put its head on and put it on top of the cart so that they know?

Yeah, basically Kaluna's looking like it's on, motherfuckers. I have another plan here too. There's a whole point for this. So first of all, the plan here is just we've stopped. I'm going to go ahead and Merrick's going to do his cooking thing, and he's going to blast this boom. Make an amazing thing with whatever spices he keeps in the back of his backpack. Do we need to roll for this? Does this need to be just sort of like a ... Since there's nothing in our way, can this just sort of happen? I would say this would take a while because you have to clean this bird.

But yeah, I would say just ... Here's the thing. I hearken it to like if you haven't eaten anything in a while, like real, real food, and someone makes you a shitty hamburger, that's the best hamburger you've ever had. Right, so let's call this not the best vulture that's ever been cooked by anybody, but it'll be a vulture that Merrick has cooked in the desert quickly for everybody to eat, so they won't at least get sick from the meat, right? Right. It feels like, fuck that. It's delicious because it's more of a distraction from all the shit we're around.

Like this is the first hot meal you guys have had in days. Okay, so I don't mean to rush this, but if anybody wants to talk about anything, that's totally cool. Otherwise, I imagine it's sort of like just rough silence for all of us. We're just sort of getting through, going through the motions, right? I feel like it's very tense. It's very much like ... Yeah. So okay, let's ... I'm feeling like you guys want to ride through the night. I have one last thing I want to do. I'm sorry, Jason. Okay. No. There's one other point that I wanted to be able to do. I want to be able to leave ...

This isn't like cooking every little last bit and it's all perfectly clean. I want to get enough that people have had enough to eat and feel better. And then he's going to take whatever's left over from that carcass, and he's going to pick everything up and drag everything back with bones and skin and feathers and everything, and he's going to drag it 10 feet away from the cart, behind the cart, and say ... I'm assuming we're about to get ready to leave again. Everything that fire's been put out and everything, he's just going to look at everybody and say, "That's their dinner." And then get back up in the cart and like, "Yah!" Right?

Let's go. So the point is to sort of distract the vultures as well. Dude, I just imagine the vultures right now, like there's two vultures holding one back, and you're like, "No, fuck that! You see what they did to Terry? They just ate him!" Terry! I don't think they have the same kind of kinship that you guys share, so ... That's assuming a lot, you know? Right, it is. Well, okay. That is definitely a distraction. That'll get them off your ass for a little while. Just probably dead. I mean, that's not going to be the whole time, but ... Also, I imagine it's the type of thing, once you kill one of them, you're like, "Alright, let's give it a little more time." Also, for me, it's for morale.

I don't want them landing next to Elrath again. Right. It's just like, "Keep 'em away. Come on." Birds are actually pretty smart with that kind of thing. Like, if they see you fuck a bird up, they're usually kind of like, "Okay, bye!" They understand mortality, not in a human sense, but like, they're smarter than, say, a bug. Like, they're up there with dogs kind of thing. Yeah. So, yeah, they're going to leave you alone for a bit here. Now, here's what I'd like. Who hasn't ... [snaps fingers] Abilann. Do me a favor. Give me a flat D12. See, I was talking shit earlier, but that's how I try to make DMs not choose me.

Because he's just talking shit. He's not going to ... How'd that work out? Great. That's not a 12. No. You can't roll a 16 on a D12. Oh, a 12. I'm impressed. I thought you said a D20. No. Give me a D12. That's a D10. That's a 10. Oh, yeah. Oh, thank God. That was a D10, so let's do that again. The one in between those two. No, my dice are like out of whack. I think these are it, right? God damn it. Holy fucker. [laughter] God damn it. How is that even possible? What happened that day? [laughter] I think that was the wrong dice, right? Come on. No, not that time. Twice. By process of elimination.

Go ahead. Tell everybody who's listening what that was. Go ahead. For our lovely listeners out there, that was a one after another one on the wrong dice. It's been nice knowing you guys. This has been great. Tell me, fucking, so we're fine. Merrick walks away from the cart and motions for Evelyn to join. [laughter] Oh, my goodness. She keeps slowing down the horse. It's weird. [laughter] Yep, that ends up. Oh, no. Oh. We all have figured this out by now, right? We all know what that is. Every once in a while, I'm rolling a D4. You guys don't have to worry about this.

You say that. You say that, you say that. I would say the only way to explain you guys traveling a mile is like a wagon wheel braking or something. Basically, the cart failing in some capacity, right? It's falling apart. And it takes you guys hours to get it fixed. But then you're back on the road. You're doing it. Jesus Christ. What kind of clown rolls a one? You guys have four gallons of water. Awesome. You will not make it through the day. You're going to drink this water. Me thinks that's less than five. I'm not sure. Yes. How about we just keep pressing on here?

I think that's a good idea. Let's do that. So taking turns again, every once in a while, you're taking an hour long break. You're stretching. You're trying to keep this going. Again, you will not have enough water to get through the rest of this day. Now, I have to ask a question. Is this a thing where you're just going to drink the water and just deal with the consequences? Or are you rationing it for the sickest member of your party? You have to ration it. Come on. She hates that. Here's the thing. If this is a discussion, if like, let's say everyone's pulled aside but Eloraf, and it's a discussion about the water, Clara would basically be like, "Okay, she does need more water.

We can't tell her that's happening, though." That's a good point. Okay. Oh, you dick. They're friends. She knows. She does. Well, let me discuss to you what mechanically would happen. And as adventurers, I think you guys would know this. You remember you all have to drink two gallons of water a day. If you don't, what's going to happen is you're going to suffer a level of exhaustion. It's basically your body starting to... It starts up slow. It's basically like if you don't get any sleep that night or something like that, then you're going to suffer a penalty to skill checks, ability checks, that type of thing.

Slowly but surely, it's going to ramp up until you're dead. Now, you have days before that's a real, real issue. Eloraf, unfortunately, doesn't. So let's say she did not roll well for the disease. That's a level of exhaustion, and then not drinking water is another level. Her health could deteriorate very quickly. This is a good episode. It's not over. Isn't it? It sounds like you guys are saving the four gallons of water for Eloraf to buy her a couple of days, which is incredibly noble of all of you. So noble, and she totally is thankful. And doesn't know.

Oh my god. So what's going to happen is Eloraf is going to drink the normal amount of water, just kind of sipping on water. I imagine everyone else in the party is fucking thirsty. We're pretending to drink out of cups. Yeah. Good water. I love water. This water here is completely sandless. So you're down to two gallons of water. Eloraf, I suppose, is down to two gallons of water. Everyone else is going to suffer one level of exhaustion by the end of the day. Now the good news is you traveled all night, which means you got to roll a d12. You traveled all day, which means you get to roll another.

Who hasn't rolled? Why don't we just let me take care of this? [Laughter] If you want a shot of redemption. I think it's Merrick or Kaluna. I do too. Excuse you. I rolled earlier and dicked us over. I think I'm covered. Do you want a shot at redemption? You see, there's an expression in basketball we like to use. It's called "shoot through it." Uh-huh. So I mean, I'm not scared to roll again because I'll just roll through the ones. We might not live, but I roll through them. Do it. I want you to do it. I really do. Wow, that sounded like "do it." I fucking dare you.

I want you to do it. Do it, pussy. Let's go. Give me a d12. Give me a d12. Oh boy. Come on. You see, I'm pretty sure it's this one too. That's a six. All right. Nobody can be mad at you for that. No. I can't love you. That is an excellent... I can't be proud of you, but... I'm not excited in any way, but... No, no, what's in the realm of low? We were talking about like an eight to twelve? Yeah. That's fair enough. You're doing good. Like, that's a solid outing. That is a day, basically, where you're on the road... And this is one of those things that's like, this is going to get worse as you guys go, because it's like, you're all just exhausted, now thirsty, and at the end of the day, you're all going to suffer one level of exhaustion.

And... Oh boy. Okay. There we go. Wait, how many miles did we lose at one time? Seven? Yeah, but let's not focus on that. We just made that back in like a whole day. Yeah, you did. Just let us focus on that. Getting lost is bad, so... What's the math now? How far away are we? You are eight miles away, which means... Which means... You guys in the far distance... Can practically see it. You're going to see the ocean. I'm talking the far distance. Like, you're going to crest over a dune, and it's like, it almost looks like a mirage. Like, it's like, you can't tell if that's actually...

If you've ever been in a really hot place like that, it constantly kind of looks like there's a big body of water on the horizon. This is going to look slightly different, but you can tell it's way out there. But that's got to be somewhat... That's got to be somewhat promising to the party. It's really tough to lose the ocean as a navigational tool. I think, I think, Keluna can manage it, guys. Yes, I'm pretty sure Keluna could really... Let's do it. Let's lose the ocean. We should go that way, and it's exactly where we came from. Like, backwards. We should go back.

Let's go no further. I would imagine by the end of this day, and at night's going to fall, by the end of this day, you guys are going to get a little chaplet. Like, a little... It's like, kind of licking your lips a lot. It's like, oh my God. Just... Does anyone want to do anything at the end of the 22nd before we just keep rolling on? No. I can't... I honestly can't imagine that Merrick has said a word in the last day. Like, I think it's just like, plow through, like, breathe into the pain. Mm-hmm. Hey, Elorath? Don't have anybody else. Oh, that's me. Could you do me a favor?

Roll a con save with this advantage? Okay. You can do it. Hey! Hey! That is... Man, you are having great luck. I believe in a thing called love. (Sings) Yeah, what's your con? Two. Sweet. Well, my modifier for the... Well, my... No. My natural con, zero. Oh. Could you do me a favor? Roll one for your physical appearance. Yes. So this is where we get the opposite of what happened when we first started out, right? Like, her insides would be fine, and then her outsides, yup, are just gonna start matching. So Elorath's skin is gonna start to look blotchy. Oh. See, I was imagining, like, a...

Like, just barely starting to droop. Like, her face just like... Just a little bit. Just sagging away from her face. It's not that bad, but, like, I imagine, like, her skin's gonna be a bit more sensitive to things like sunburn and stuff like that, so it's just... No. It's gonna look fine. Yeah. I'm right there with you. So, just, you're gonna start to notice these blotchy bits of skin that look a little more, like, flaky and... Oh, no. It doesn't look good. It's not a look that's like, "Oh, it's next to that person on the bus." Like, it's, like, it's getting not great.

And combined with Elorath's... I mean, she's throwing up every once in a while. It's not good. It's not a good look. She just has a little bit of psoriasis, okay? That's all it is. Now, are the vultures back? Uh, during the course of the day, yeah, but they're kinda circling again. Like, it's just like, okay. See, now it's different. Before, they were just, like, around for survival. Now it's personal. To younger boys. They're here for vengeance. You use a knife, they use a gun. Big bang. Are we pushing through the night again? Uh, we don't have the water to just chill here.

Yeah, I don't think we have a choice. I hate it. We can just sleep when we get there, you know? We just drop dead. There's nothing to do to help the horse with exhaustion, right? Like... Not really. Yeah. Give him a little coffee. Horse coffee. Basically, the horse is going to be doing something called a "forced march," basically. Yeah. Is there any way that this is like a hit point type thing and I could do like a cure wounds? Or is this not really in that realm? It's not, there's no physical damage being done to the horse. You're just exhausting it. Like, it's just like, let's go, keep going, keep going.

That type of thing. I have purified food and drink. Can I purify the horse? If you're going to eat it, absolutely. It'd be delicious. Yeah. Oh, man. Kaluna will just, Kaluna will do that solidarity thing again to mimic their sandstorm struggles and just walk alongside the horse like, "Don't worry, buddy. I'm also miserable and dying." Aww. Alright, here's the moment of truth. Who's going to roll a d12 for me? Alright, alright, if you insist. No! Alright, alright, oh, Jesus! No, no, go. You got this. I believe in you. No, go. I need to stop backing myself into this goddamn corner.

Yo, Merrick's driving, so you're navigator. Third time's the charm. Let's go. Alright. Do it. I'm scared. Remember, you're eight miles away. Did that not... Oh my god, I just got a seven and it didn't go. Yes! Fuck that seven. We go past. We go past it. We make a laugh. Oh no, we're in the ocean. You drive into the ocean. No. That's what I needed last time, alright? I need my faith back. At... at probably the party's lowest point, you are thirsty and filthy and quite literally dying. Slowly. It is going to be about three in the morning or so when you see this gorgeous glittering jewel in the middle of the desert.

And that would be Onakal. I would imagine you'd continue toward the city, but what would everyone be feeling when it comes into view? You're just like a mile or two out. It'd be another hour or so before you are at the city gates. Like, what would you guys be feeling? Thank god. No problem. You're welcome. Yeah. Go ahead. No, Abilene, he wouldn't change his expression too much. He was already a bit downtrodden, kind of like slinking back in his seat on the wagon, kind of like mumbling to himself the whole time, but he's been mumbling calculations to water and all that stuff.

He doesn't need to do that anymore since he sees the city in his sight, so he kind of lurches up a little bit and he just kind of points. And he says, "Finally." Clara's gonna kind of like, once other people- here's the thing, at first she thought it was actually hallucination. So when other people start reacting, Clara's gonna like nod to herself and clap her hands and like, "Yeah!" and then just go a little bit faster. Just a little bit. As fast as she can. Which isn't fast. Because she hasn't had water for two days. Oh no. Kaluna is going to just like, they see the city on the horizon and they're like, "It's too good to be true." But then they realize it is real and they're going to just like, nuzzle their face, like against the horse's face.

Like, "Oh my god, we did it." And then they're gonna sort of like pat the horse on its shoulder, just like, "We're almost there." And they'll put a little more pep in their step, like, "Yeah! We're gonna make it!" But that's gonna last for like five steps before they're like, "No. No. Mmm." This city, you're gonna see torch lights and lanterns and stuff like that. And as you get close, there are these large gates. And you're gonna see one of these lanterns start to descend. There are a couple of towers on either side of the gate here. You're gonna see the lantern move before you see any people.

But what these look to be is guard towers. And someone is going to approach the cart as you guys pull forward. And it's this rather slender, elfish gentleman with long, like very pale blonde hair. And he's gonna hold his hand up to the party like a "Whoa. Stop." And he's going to approach. "Can I help you?" The whole way here for a "Can I help you?" like rat. A fucking McDonald's driveway. He's probably been able to see us for longer than we've been able to see the city. And we show up just half dead. "Can I help you?" "Do you need a biscuit perhaps?" "No, we're good.

We just turn the fuck around." "Yeah. Sorry. Wrong city." "You know what? Never mind." "Caluna will, like, they won't say anything, but they are going to give him a look like, 'Really? We came out of the desert and you're asking us what you can do for us? What the fuck is wrong with you?'" "Do you do the head tilt a little bit?" "No, um, it's more appraising. Like, you get the sense that he's appraising the party. Just like, 'Can we do something for you?' That type of thing." "It's three in the morning. What do you think?" "Can you, like, hold a canteen to his mouth while you're standing there?" "And then spit it out and pour the rest of it out like this.

This is not perfect." "It's too cold. And just like, spit." "He's sipping a pina colada like, 'Can I help you?'" "Oh, this water's a bit too cold. Pour it all out." "Too refreshing. Too refreshing." "Marek is going to jump off of the cart and come up towards the guy. Just, you know, like, I'm super weak, I'm sure. And probably holding onto the horse a little bit. Like, patting the horse." "We've been traveling for days. Got caught in a sandstorm. And we're desperate for water. And we also need your, if you have a cleric or someone of some sort of high stature, we need help for one of our party members." "Is this something that you can help us with?" "He's, a lot of this is stuff he's expecting.

He's looking over the party and just like, 'Yeah, yeah, I can see that.' And then the cleric can help with one of the party members' things. He's going to arch an eyebrow. He's got these well-manicured but very long eyebrows. And what sort of help is that?" "Marek's going to look back at the cart. I think he's looking back at whoever will look at him. And he's trying to give a look like, 'Just go with me here. Like, follow my lead.' He's going to say, 'The sandstorm has taken most of our water away. And we've had a really hard time. And one of our people is far worse off than the rest of us.

And I don't know that water is going to take care of it. We need somebody who knows more about medicine and just something more than we know. So he's going to act dumb. He's just like, 'I don't know, but we need help for one of our people more than the others.' And he's just going to sort of point towards the back." "He's going to walk around the cart. And he's going to approach Elorath. And he's got these gloves that he is going to take out of the pocket of this jacket type thing he's wearing. And he's going to look at Elorath as he pulls the glove on and kind of gives it a snap.

And he's going to grab Elorath by the face. Gently, but like grab her by the face." "Really?" "Just sort of tilt her head back and forth. So you're saying this is simple dehydration then as he's looking at her?" "It seems to be. We don't know. It's beyond what the rest of us are going through. But then again, she stayed on the sun a little bit longer than everybody else too. So I don't know if it's dehydration, if it's like a sunstroke or something. But she's in much worse shape than we are. So we just want to be able to get some help here." "Could you do me a favor and run a deception check for me?" "No." "I'm dead." "I think he buys it.

I think he will if necessary." "Just want you to roll a one so you can be like, yeah just..." "Oh shit!" "Damn. He rolled that 20 out of spite." "Hey, I'll take it. I'll talk shit every time." "Elorath even pleaves it." "Yeah, you know why?" "Is this just dehydration?" "I don't have slough fever." "I think even Kaluna is going to be like, 'Is that... I thought...' Like they're not saying anything but they look at Roxy's like, 'Has my whole life been a lie?'" "Yeah, he's going to be looking her over and then kind of regarding the party and realizing there's some urgency here.

And it's not like... if they were to turn you away, it's like you're dead. Like you're not going to make it back through." "And he's going to continue looking at Elorath, hold a single finger up and sort of do this little spin around motion. And after a few moments, you're going to hear these really big gates start to... you're going to hear mechanisms behind and you're going to see them start to creak open." "Thank god." "And after about a minute of these things cranking, he's going to motion toward the gate. You can go ahead." "There's a bar in Inn called the Oasis.

I highly recommend that you check in there. If you're looking for a cleric, you could probably find one sometime in the afternoon in the lower portions of the city. They can direct you once you're inside." "Welcome to Onakol." "Thank you very, very much. Are there any fountains or any sort of public areas for water on our way in?" "He's going to... there's this shitty kind of half-smile that curls up around his lip. You've never been to this city, have you?" "No, never been to Onakol, no, no." "Trust me, you'll be fine. And he motions toward the gate one more time." "Okay, well, let's walk the horse in with the cart being pulled." "So the second you cross the threshold of this gate here, it's going to go from this rough terrain.

And I would imagine that at this point it's going to be freakish because once you cross the threshold of the gate, it is this amazing, almost polished stone. Not cobblestone." "It's almost a single flat surface. An amazing amount of care and attention was put into creating this. And you're going to go from this bumpy journey to all of a sudden just smooth." "Have you ever seen dogs walk when they have mittens on their paws?" "Yes!" "That's how Kaluna's going to walk on this stuff. What the fuck? What the fuck?" "And it is this entire, it's almost this white stone.

Like it is, everything looks just clean and polished and serene. And you're going to hear running water the second you cross the threshold of this gate. So there are fountains every 30 feet all along Main Street, essentially. "And you're going to see lanterns lit and stuff like that. Not a ton of activity because it's 4 in the morning. But you are going to see the odd person or so regarding you as you come into the city because they don't get a shitload of visitors." "And all along Main Street you're going to see these fountains. They're not huge but they're kind of decoration.

And then every 100 feet or so there are going to be larger fountains." "And right behind those, the even bigger fountains, a massive fountain." "No, it is decadence. It is, especially, okay, Whitehead, a town like that, it's like, yeah, this is a town. It's completely serviceable. There's your blacksmith, there's the stable, there's, you know, like, if you go to a larger city or something you'll have four or five inns and stuff like that. But yeah, but this is, it's like staying at a resort. It is very decadent, very decorated, very, it's just like, holy shit.

It's like if you've never stayed at a five star hotel in your life, it's like, oh my god, like, how have I been suffering through these motel experiences, that type of thing." So basically, it's very evident that the Aladrin are here. "Yeah, not just that, but like, it's kind of like, yeah, we took the liberty of sprucing the place up just a little, that type of thing." "Sorry about the mess. We didn't have time to clean up for your arrival." "Oh, we just did a little something." "I mean, Ornacol was a pretty grand city before the Aladrin got here.

They have done nothing to diminish that, let's say." "Damn." "They cleaned out all the zombie corpses." "I was gonna say, these zombies have great taste." "Okay, so let's get near, let's, well, I feel like the first order of business is we should all mad dash, like who will get us to the nearest water fountain. That's where I was going with this. I was like, let's pull the cart near the nearest big water fountain." "And on the way, fill up some flasks and throw it at Elorath." "Not Elorath's flask though." "Oh my God, good point." "Is that?" "We can use my flask and I'll give my flask to Elorath and buy a new one later." "I bet they have nice flasks here." "Let me ask a question, is this something Elorath would notice that the entire party is just ravenous for water?

Because I'd imagine while Elorath is probably thirsty, there's probably some urgency for the rest of the party that Elorath just would not feel." "I feel like she would notice it, let's see." "Let's all gasp." "Nope!" "Nice!" "Nope, she would not!" "What are you running for?" "Maybe Elorath slept through all of this." "Maybe." "That smoother ride, she was just like, finally." "She was blinded by the polished floors." "Okay, so let's just fill up with water here." "We're all dunking our faces in, right?" "I know, yeah." "How tall are these fountains?" "You think Kaluna ain't climbing up to the fountains?" "The little ones are, well, the little ones, quote unquote, they're, think, think like pure decoration. They're about as tall as a human, like six, six and a half feet somewhere in there, but they widen at the base like a big Christmas tree type of thing, so picture you know when someone does the wine glass display and they pour it in the top and it sort of, like something like that, so there's multiple tiers and you could, you know, it's constant moving water. The big ones are like wishing wells, that type of thing, like big kind of running water fountains.

That you could kind of climb. Think the Friends fountain." "Oh, wow." "That type of thing." "Do we all play in it casually?" "As a sign of our friendship, because I think we should. Just jump in." "Yeah, Effie's jumping in there. Screw it. She's had enough of all this sand, of being hot, of being thirsty. She's really thirsty. She's in there." "She's gonna ruin some drinking water for everyone else." "I feel like Clara, like her arms would come up for a second, like she wants to stop everyone and then she'll just put them down and just facepalm. She's not gonna get in the water.

She's just like, 'Goddammit.'" "I think Merrick's in the same position. It's like, 'Okay, we're gonna get kicked out. This is not good. Fine.'" "Yeah, I think he doesn't really realize it, so he'll run towards the big fountain, kind of realize what he's doing, run back, grab, Effie, pick her up and run towards the fountain." "Wait, wait, wait. This is silly. Effie, come on." "Wait, I'm forgetting something. That's bad." "Kaluna's in that position of, if you've ever been, again, have you ever been to a five star resort and you've only ever been at motels and shit and you're like, 'Oh, this is really fancy.

Oh no. Oh god, I don't belong here at all.'" "And just, you're doing, you're trying so very hard to be on your absolute, better than your best behavior, so they're just eyeballing that fountain like, 'Oh man, oh man, that looks great.' But they look over at Merrick and Merrick's not doing it so they're like, 'Okay, okay, we're good, we're fine. I don't want to go. I don't need it. I don't need it.'" "I mean, Merrick's not gonna." "I don't need it." "As you're saying, 'I don't need it,' like, 'Avalyn's just running past you.' He's holding up at me like she's fucking Simba." "Kaluna's a goddamn SpongeBob meme right now." "No, I mean, Merrick's not gonna jump in.

He's gonna try to play it cool, 'cause he also wants to keep out an eye in case, you know, they don't wanna like, they could probably get away with like, 'I'm so sorry, we've been in the desert for a few days and we were about to die. I'm sorry, we were kind of out of our minds.'" "He wants to make sure he's there to be able to say something like that in case somebody walks up, but at the same time he's gonna probably dunk his head like, 'Kaluna will go that far.' Like, they're just following his lead. Like, whatever Merrick deems acceptable, it's probably okay." "Could I get Merrick, Clara, and Elaraf to roll a perception check for me?

I wanna see something." "Do you guys imagine like in the morning when all the Eladrin's wake up, one just gonna walk past the fountain and be like, 'Dude, what the fuck?'" "There we go. Three minus one is two." "Got my math lesson for the day." "Elaraf is gonna notice. Remember I said they're scattered, like it's like, yeah, there's not a ton of people out right now, but you're gonna see a couple of Eladrin talking to each other and they'll point over and you can't tell what they're saying. But the expression on their face is like, like kind of a 'see, I told you they were all like that.' That type of like..." "We can't be upset, we just proved it right." "But like not aggressive, just like, like that type of thing." "Those poor fools, they're so below us and they don't even know.

They don't even understand." "Now from this point right now, how long have they been back from their realm that they went to?" "Well, do me a favor, roll a history check and I'll tell you all about what you'd know." "Huh. Alright." "Wow! So, that's 18, that's quite a bit, so..." "For a second I thought that was Avalon who rolled." "No, no, we're not just..." "How the fuck does Avalon go?" "Yeah, yeah, well we're gonna stick with Marix 100%." "I just kind of did it, I'm sorry, I hope that was okay." "It's not something Avalon would know, I just asked that, you know, for the table." "So, about two years and three months ago there was a big column of light thing, you may have heard about it, and that's sort of where a lot of recent history takes place." "It's almost a BC/AD type thing where it's like, oh yeah, if it happened before that big column of light then that's usually stressed." "For the Eladrin, and boy howdy, I guess Marix and Kaluna would know a bit more about this." "We were letting Noah think or two." "Might know.

So, this whole thing happens at the seal and there's a hell of a lot of fallout from that, but it took almost a year from that point to free the Eladrin." "Think of them like frozen steaks that needed to thaw out, so some of them dropped out of their prisons pretty quickly." "And then slowly over the course of a year it took that long to get everybody to wake up conscious, get them together, and then debrief them." "Kind of tell them, hey, okay, hey, don't panic, this much time has passed, it's been about 100 years, you're on a completely different continent, your city's gone." "There's a dragon there, the world's moved on without you, and go." "Like it's very that." "Don't freak out though, don't freak out." "They were on another continent, how did they get back?" "Well, slowly it turns out, with the help of, and this is with this history check, with the help of one of the houses in Brightport." "I'm good." "Yeah, so there's an inn there, House Dragonkeep, so slowly but surely basically there were several journeys that had to take place." "They were essentially put on ships like cargo, and they were ferried across the continent after it was decided, well where the hell can you go?" "And Onakol seemed like the most obvious thing, again ties with the houses of Brightport, it's like, okay, well look, we can get you there and kind of get you a fresh start." "The problem is, this originally started as a, hey we're going to give you a home and you can help polish the place up, and we're trying to make this not only a semi-tourist destination, but we want to set up trade routes and stuff like that." "The Aladrin being the Aladrin started off on that, but after they, they are the predominant race in Onakol now, there are thousands of them." "And they all but took over the city, and they kind of run it the way they want to run it." "They, to answer your question very directly, they've been there for a little over a year running the joint." "I was just going to say, it's been a year and some change and they're already back to humans." "Oh, they never stopped." "They got frozen, thawed out, put on a ship like a cargo of oranges, then they come back, humans." "Well they're not, it's not, they don't hate, they-" "Who likes humans?" "Well, no one, but here's the thing, imagine it like this, in the blink of an eye, seemingly, to them, they were the pinnacle of civilization, they had this gorgeous city, they were in touch with magic more than any race in the world to them." "They were running shit, essentially, when it comes to being a civilized society, and then in the blink of an eye, all that is stripped away." "Not only would they double down on the 'you people let everything fall to shit while we were gone,' but they would probably be pretty embittered about the whole thing." "So yeah, there's a lot of work, it's been a humbling experience for some of them, but you know, some of them are going to be a little slower to adjust." "Some refuse to be humbled." "Yeah, who would play in a ladder?" "What kind of dummy?" "What a race." "So yeah, you're going to see a couple of judgmental eyes, kind of focused on the party." "Should I go to the inn?" "Oh, go ahead." "I was just going to ask Efni if she wanted me to just throw her in there, or if she really wanted to go in the fountain, because Adolin was going to toss her in I guess." "For a moment, probably a look of 'yes please do it,' but then if she notices the look that they're guessing, she'll probably shake her head and go 'no, come on with me.'" "I'd say this is just an Elorat thing." "Yeah, that's just me I think. I think Elorats would probably say something after you do it, if they're already talking." "Now, Efni, if they're... I was just asking Efni how was she going to enter the water, just for fun." "She's going to look up at Evelyn and she pauses for a minute thinking she probably shouldn't do this, but then she looks and she grins at Eamon and starts kind of tucking herself up and nods at Eamon and says 'yeah, chuck me.' "Do it." "Yeah." "So Efni is going to...

Efni is just going to kind of be tossed into this fountain. This is one of the big nice ones and stuff. Now this isn't necessarily... here's the thing. Here's the most gaudy part of this. This is not their drinking water." "Oh shit." "You can drink it. You can drink it, but this isn't even their drinkable water supply. This is just for decoration. Because, and if you think about it, normally water's not a cool way to show off unless you're in the middle of a place that has none." "Oh, Las Vegas." "A little bit, right? So I imagine eventually you're all going to sort of like 'okay, okay, okay, we're okay.' And then get your stuff together and... it's four in the morning, so you're probably heading toward the inn, if I'm going to guess." "We've got to get Elorath to a bed, right?

Because the first order of business is to find somebody, and they said somebody could be available in the afternoon, but we're going to go secure something as soon as possible. And if we can't find somebody until the afternoon, Elorath needs to be in the best place possible." "Right." "We've got to find a room for Elorath by herself, if possible. But other than that, I have no plan." "Okay." "You think these motherfuckers don't have enough rooms?" "Yeah, they are." "No, I'm trying to keep Elorath away from everybody in a big city." "That has already had one, plague." "Yes." "So, here's the cool thing.

The Oasis is really easy to spot, and I'm going to tell you why. It is one of the largest buildings you've ever seen, dedicated to an inn/eatery/bar, whatever." "This is Las Vegas, this is absolutely Las Vegas." "I love it." "It is beautiful. It's also one of the only places you've ever seen, besides maybe like an Umineiro type of thing, the sign out front is constantly sparkling in a myriad of different colors." "It's like, okay, you ever see like a gunpowder type of thing, where you're watching it on fire and it's like that?" "Yeah." "It's that, but in a wave of different colors surrounding it, so it'll cycle in between your purples, and then your reds, and your greens, your blues, and it just keeps going, rippling throughout the sign, constantly." "Oh my god." "This is a gross display of magic." "I hate these people.

I hate them so much." "I fucking love them. I think as soon as Kaluna sees that, they're like, 'Whoa!' and they kind of slow down to watch as they walk, but then as soon as the colors change, Kaluna just stops and stares, just like a little kid, just like, 'What the fuck?'" "And that's the thing. If you want to break it down, this is not technology that is available to the rest of the world. They would have to be someone standing out front normally to like, 'Okay, I'm not going to do this, and I'm going to do this.' "This magic totally exists in the world, but most people, it's like, 'I'm going to hammer this nice wooden sign up,' and if it's a nice place, it's like, 'Oh, we're going to meticulously carve this out, and it's going to be gorgeous, and there's a little elk.

It's right there." "This is like, 'Baboom!' "This is almost..." "I'm going to put a happy little bush on this sign." "This magic is like, 'Fuck you!' This shit, like, it's aggressive. It's colorful and huge and aggressive, and this, like, between that and the water running constantly, it is both serene and peaceful and hectic and violent to the eyes, almost." "And Evelyn is basically like a deer caught in headlights wherever he goes, because it's all so distracting. And it's like, it's kind of like seeing a magic trick and you're just like, 'Oh, how do you do that?

How's it happening?'" "Right." "He's just looking around." "Oh, man. So, the front door is this place. Obviously, the sign is hovering above, and this place looks like it has dozens and dozens and dozens of rooms. Like, it is huge. It wraps around the block. It's huge. "And the front doors are these beautiful wooden carved doors with handles that look like they aren't affixed to the door. What it looks like is someone took a massive wooden block and carved everything away and then had the handles as one piece, like, they kind of flare out. They kind of look like wooden flames, sort of elegantly swooping down." "Kaluna is significantly less approving of this whole place now.

Like, they had to jog to catch up to everyone because they were staring at the sign for so long, and then they get to the door and they're like, 'Oh, hmm, hmm.'" "Is that door just screaming, 'Help me!'" "It's very dead." "It's your ears?" "Kill me?" "No, it's just, it's dead, and it's like, that had to be the biggest fucking tree. That tree had to be so old, and you killed it to make your dumb, extravagant door. What kind of an asshole?" "Yeah, it's like they killed someone and just like face painted him and like displayed him out for everyone to see.

That's the equivalent." "Trees are people." "Well, I'll tell you what kind of asshole." "My favorite kind." "So as you approach this door, there's a doorman. There is someone there to open the door for you." "They, they, they, this, OK, this individual is also dressed, dressed very well, like, like sort of almost a suit, but not quite very much a uniform. And there's a, you'll notice that this person is a human." "Of course he is. I knew he was going to be." "Oh my God." "We don't know who they were going to be. We don't know gender yet. Point is, I knew immediately, like I was waiting for it.

I stared at my watch like, yeah, when are you going to tell me that they're the second class citizens?" "So this person's going to open the door and nod to the party and it's like, 'welcome to the Oasis.' Like very, just like grand sweeping gesture of like, 'and now on your way, go on in.'" "And then we'll do a, we'll mimic the gesture at him, like, 'oh, this is how we do here. OK, hello.'" "Yeah, I mean, just go in. Basically, it's like, OK. Is there like somebody to talk to about a room?" "Yes. So as you walk in, there's this massive lobby and there's this huge front desk where there are two or three people working." "Oh my God.

At 4am." "At 4am." "We see jokin' visitors anyway." "Yeah, no one comes here. What the fuck?" "Do you ever see like a special about like hotels they build in like Dubai where there are no fucking like, there's no, but they just have this stuff there? It's like, well, one day the tourism will come. They are, they are set up, man." "This is the largest inn any of you have probably ever seen. And it's like, usually there's like one lonely counter person if you get there at 4am, which I imagine, I know a lot of you guys have done being adventurers, you're just on the road.

But this is like, there are several people like in this lobby. There's the doorman, there's a few people behind the counter. There's, there's someone like polishing and cleaning. And they're, it's like, 'oh, can I help you?' That type of thing. They're all, they're all very alert and attentive." "Off to the side, if you were to wrap around and go to the right, there is a huge bar. All you're going to see are two double doors. And every once in a while there'll be someone like walking in or out and you'll see rows of stools and things like that. And you're going to see more of that kind of funky lighting that you saw outside for the sign and top shelf stuff.

And then the door is going to close again." "Now there's going to be, there's going to be a gentleman in the center that's going to hold his hand up and wave you forward. Like, please." "Hmm. Okay, so Merrick, Merrick will walk up." "Guys, I'm just gonna go out on a limb here. I don't think we can afford to stay here." "So that's what I was going to do. So Merrick's going to walk up. Basically, with that long pause too, it's like, uh, um, okay." "And then walking up, kind of looking around like, something's not like, am I being watched? Like what's going on?

When is this? Am I on camera?" "And he's going to walk up and, and very skittishly say, um, how much is your cheapest room?" "Okay." "Perfect question to ask in exactly the right way. When I was 14, my friend and I accidentally went into a really nice restaurant because we were just wandering around and the waitress came up and asked if we would like any bread. And without a moment hesitation, my friend went, 'Is it free?' And the lady laughed at us and said, 'I'll bring bread.'" "I feel like that's about what's going to happen here." "I hope so." "Well, okay.

This is, again, another well put together Aladrin gentleman. He's standing there. And, um, if you were to have made him a lunch, that would have been a fart sandwich you handed him. "And he's just, he's going to, like, again, consummate professional. And just like, 'Hmm. Well, sir, personally, welcome to the Oasis. We couldn't be more pleased to have you as visitors.'" "Wait, wait, wait, wait. Merrick is, he's got this, I have this look on my face right now. And it's this look of like, my eyes are kind of wide open and I have a look at my face like, 'Ahh.' So I want that to be happening.

Like, 'Well, sir, it's ahh.' It's weird." "This is Affluence Unmeasured. This is, this is, the standard adventure is like, 'Holy shit.' Like, this is, our standard room is 20 gold an evening, but we do have a suite available for 45 gold." "Of course, that gets you unlimited access to the tables. And he is going to sweepingly sort of wave his arm to the right. Now, to your right, there's that, there's that big bar. To this gentleman's right, there are a couple of sets of double doors that lead to a casino." "Yes! Yes! Okay." "Honecull is Vegas! Honecull is Vegas!" "Oh my god, so, okay, so, okay, the guy who just said that, Merrick turns around, walks a few steps up into the group, and says, 'Give me all your gold.'" "But they're also like, just kind of like, 'Okay, we trust Merrick, and they will hand you all of their gold.'" "Come on, come on, come on, this is where we're gonna find out that Merrick has a crippling gambling addiction." "God, I hate this!

Kaluna doesn't know what gambling is, guys! Kaluna doesn't know!" "We gotta do this, come on!" "Clara and Ira are gonna shoot up, and she's gonna put her arms in front of both Elarath and Avalon, because I feel like she, she would assume they're the two who would hand over their money next." "She would. Yep. Absolutely." "But she'll kind of hold her hands up and be like, 'Why?'" "No, okay, because we are going to get a deal, and I need to make sure that we have enough gold to do it." "I'm not gonna take your gold, I just want, we gotta get in here, because we have to play it cool, otherwise they're gonna kick us out of this place, so just give me all your gold." "And look, I got a plan, I got a plan." "Kaluna's going to wait, and just, wait, we need gold to get Elarath's cure." "We're gonna get her cure, but we gotta stay somewhere, and we also gotta make sure, we also gotta make sure that she's set up in a good place where she's going to be okay." "And we're going to, there's no question that we're gonna get her, that's why we're here, otherwise we would have turned around, so I'm not fucking with you." "Kaluna's going to raise a hand." "We would have not turned around, that would have been death, but you know, I would have turned." "They're gonna raise their hand, very hesitantly, but, um, couldn't we just stay somewhere that costs less money?" "This is the only place, they said this is the only place in town." "I don't remember hearing that." "That's what the guy just told me." "I don't, I don't, please." "Jason, aren't we standing right next to him?" "I was saying that." "And can't we see the casino?" "Yeah, okay, let's do a thing." "Maric's acting like a crazy person, right?" "I'm not even a dick, I should shoot." "Let's do a thing, because there is a plausible deniability, because like, let's say it's like, how much is it?

Like, okay, because when people talk about money they usually lower their voice. "Maric, I want you to roll a deception check for me." "No, no, this is more about..." "Just because, just because, just for the 'this is the only game in town' line." "Okay, fine." "Fine." "The rest of it's fine." "Okay, that's great, 8 out of 10, right?" "That's..." "Hey, I was there once too, buddy." "So, this is, like, all the rest of this, it's like, Maric is acting a little rambunctious, some of that could definitely be, like, it's like, oh my god, we're in a place where it's nice and cool, there's drinks and, like, yeah. This is the only game in town, it's like, yeah, yeah, you just said that.

That seems more like, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just go." "Kolana is going to frown very hard, and they're gonna cross their arms, and they're gonna look at him, and they're gonna hold out their hand, give us our gold back." "Maric just immediately gives the gold back, but he's not, he doesn't act guilty, he's just like, yeah, fine, but look, here's the deal, he's lowering his voice, right, so he's like, look, we can get a room, but we could get a room for everybody for just the same cost, but double." *laughter* "I'd best go up again, like..." "Kolana immediately looks real confused, like, what are you saying now?" "It's for free, but only for $87 a month." *laughter* "What I'm saying is we could get, like, three rooms or something, but for half of the cost of that, we could have a suite for all of us, we can make sure that we're with Elrath, but she's also by herself, and for just a few gold more, we have an opportunity to get to the tables, and we can find a way to pay for the cleric that's going to heal Elrath." "We have money for the cleric that's going to save Elrath." "I mean, who's got that?" "And we just think, didn't you give Elrath a big chunk of money earlier? From the corpse?" "Oh god, I forgot about that." *laughter* "I did, I totally forgot about that." "So, um, so Merrick's gonna be like, yes, but what if it costs more?" "Shouldn't we check and see how much it costs before we gamble with all of our money?" "Yes, we should, exactly what I was gonna say." "While this discussion is continuing, Kaluna's going to, um..." "Okay, wait, one at a time, one at a time, hold on, Kaluna first." "While this discussion is going on, Kaluna's going to, like, even more meekly than I think Merrick did, they're going to go over to the nice man at the counter." "And they're gonna say, um, hi, 'scuse us, this place is really, really nice, but we..." "And they're looking down at themselves, like, clearly making it about Kaluna, not the group." "And they're gonna go, 'We, um, is there somewhere more fitted to, uh, us?' "And they're gonna gesture, like, at all of themselves." "Somewhere we might be more comfortable than a place with really nice floors that we're worried we might get dirt on." "Um... well..." [Laughter] "And again, just like, like, okay, just like, 'What?' That type of thing." "Kaluna's going to, it didn't seem possible, but Kaluna's going to shrink into themselves even more like, 'Oh, oh no, I just stepped in it.'" "I want him so bad to say, 'Actually, this is the only game in town.'" "So, um..." "Well, here's the thing. Well, if you're intent on staying in an establishment more fitting..." "He doesn't even know the word for it." "It's all poor, god damn it." [Laughter] "Broke." "There is a slightly smaller inn down the road with nicer rooms, but I assure you we could take care of you very well here." "The suite that I told your friend about just a moment ago is a stunning room with a gorgeous view." "That's, um..." Kaluna's voice is definitely, like, squeaking, just like, "That's real nice, but, um, we are more..." "We're, um..." "Kaluna's going to lean in and just sort of, like, pretend to be ashamed and just sort of be like, 'We're, um, we're more used to living in trees and dirt and stuff.'" "This is very nice.

Very nice. For sure our friends will be very comfortable here, but we're more used to living, you know, like, um..." "A horse, maybe?" "And they're going to, like, gesture towards the door where the horse is presumably waiting on the other side." "Right." "Just, like, very much like, 'We are not meant to be here, sir.'" "Could you give me a moment to confer with my colleagues?" "Sure!" "And he's going to..." "They have a very blank look on their face because they do not know what 'confer' means." "Uh, just a very, it's like, 'Excuse me for just one moment,' and he's going to pull the two ladies aside that he's working with behind the counter." "And they're gonna talk for just a few moments." "And he's going to come back to Kaluna." "Well, it appears as though your party has been through quite the ordeal to get here, and we couldn't apologize more for that." "If we had the power to take some of the burden out of your journey, we absolutely would." "Well, I mean, we didn't have to go into the desert to begin with. It's not your fault." "It's flying right over their head, like, 'Oh, we're so sorry.

Oh, no, it's fine. You didn't do anything.'" "Well, be that as it may, we'd still like to make your stay at Onakol as lovely as we can." "What we can do is, um, we can direct you down the street. There is a shelter." "A shelter?" "I believe they have a room or two available. What we can do is if you did rent the suite, your friends seem to be interested in that, we can give you a night for free and 100 gold credit at the casino." "What?" "I don't know if you heard that." "Kona's eyes light up, but their jaw drops like, 'Oh,' and they're gonna go, 'That is very exceedingly--' "Clearly fishing for like a bigger vocabulary, like, 'Oh, generous of you, we will confer with our associates.'" "Three pointers." "We will be back momentarily, and they're going to play a very cool, which by Kona standards is not cool at all, just like, boys just like skitter back over and lean in." "We may have just gotten a real good deal.

Um, merit gears are gold." "Right, thank you. So, uh, and Merrick's gonna ask the guy, so, uh, do we need to pay up front or do we do we do we just pay on our way out?" "You're asking that?" "Yes." "Um, well, we do request payment up front. If you stay multiple days, we usually collect the money at the beginning of each day that you stay extra." "Okay, so, um, since it's a free night for the first night, though, we'll, we'll take care of this tomorrow, is that right?" "Again, sir, and he's, you can tell it's like, oh, it's uncouth to talk about money, but he's, he's trying to, well--" "He's making sure we don't dine and dash is what he's doing." "That's basically what his job is, because--" "Totally, and Merrick is trying to ask it as innocently as possible, right?

So it's like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't know how, I don't know the protocol here. Is this, you know, do we do this now or do we take-- oh, because it's a free night? I don't know how that works." "Well, again, we would take payment up front and we would just, of course, not bother you at all. Tomorrow, tomorrow would just be completely on us. Consider it a welcome to own a call gift." "That's, that's absolutely fantastic. We're, we're, we're really excited. Merrick's gonna turn out immediately and be like, gold, gold, gold, gold. We need 45, we need 45." "Thank you, sir.

Well, yes, absolutely. We'll, we can carry our own bags. Gold, let's do it. We got, I got, I got 25 in my pocket. I need, I need 20 more. Come on." "While Merrick is grilling everyone else for their gold, Kaluna's going to lean over and go, 'What are credits?' because he said we get some of those. Sounds good, but we don't know what those are." "It means that we don't have a problem. We're gonna be fine. Oh, and it calls our new home. Come on, let's do this. Give me your gold, give me your gold. 20." "I'm gonna kind of blanch at that. I don't want to live here.

Are you kidding me?" "Clara's gonna pierce, like her lips are pierced and she looks like she's holding back a very blind fury. But she'll take her bag and hand it to Merrick. But as she's handing it to him, she's going to whisper very lowly, 'If we can't pay the cleric because of this, I will kill you.' "And then she'll lean back and just kind of motion whatever with her arms because she had 23 gold. So that's the money that you need." "I'm gonna kill you, whatever." "And Merrick's like, 'What are you saying?'" "We're kind of like washing our hands of the situation.

Like clearly this is going to happen whether anyone objects to it or not. So take my money so that Elorath can keep hers. But if we can't pay for the cleric, she is going to kill you." Got it. And I do want to explain Merrick's behavior here. This is after misery. Misery, misery, misery. And for Merrick to see something, I mean, remember, he's never really lived in anything. He's always just wandered around. This is so fucking like, yes, I want to see their kitchen. I want to know what their room service is like. This is amazing. So he's just incredibly excited.

He's also not worried about Elorath. He's not thinking about that. He's just like, 'No, that will be fine. I'm sure that's fine. No problem.' Like you're already down the road. It's like, 'And we're here. We're at the finish line. We're good.' Meanwhile, Quara is just not impressed with any of it and only thinking about Elorath. So this is infuriating to her. And there are probably people coming to tell him, 'Please, sir, don't touch that.' He's like, 'No. All right, he'll go to a different wall and start touching it.' And he's like, 'Please don't touch that.' So the suite?

Okay, so that will... Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna put some gold in as well. So maybe share with Clara. I went to go take the gold from myself and it was already gone. Thank you, Jason. So the gold changes hands. They are in motion. One of the ladies is behind the counter arranging everything and he's jotting some things down in his ledger and they're gonna get ready. And he's gonna start to slide things out of the counter. There's this sort of wrapped up scroll and he's going to just like, 'Quooop!' And it takes up a large portion of this counter.

And what it is are all the services that this place offers and all the things that's like, 'Oh, you're never a world famous boy. It's a top shelf liquor.' And they're gonna go all over the casino and there's a swimming pool in the back if you round the corner and they're just gonna say, 'Okay, here's how you get to your room. You're gonna go up six flights of stairs and you're going to...' He's directing you through all of this. And he's gonna snap his fingers and essentially a bag boy is going to wander over. This halfling gentleman is going to wander on over and offer to take your bags up to your room.

And the gentleman who you're speaking to, my name is Rydell. If there's anything that I can get you to help improve your stay, just let me know. There's a concierge that you can speak to at any point to help you get around the city. I understand that you're guests. We've taken the liberty of taking your horse around to the stable. Your horse will be completely taken care of. No need to worry. If you need us to bring it around for you and you're hot... You just hear a gunshot. Do not worry. We will get you a new one. That one was broken. That one was not suitable to you.

Our steamed... Your horse was broken when you were way over here. Oh my God. And he is going to slide this red... pretty much a red piece of paper, but it's kind of thicker. Here are your credits for the casino. If you speak to the changer in there, everything will be taken care of. And here's the key to your room. It's attached to this. It almost looks like a rabbit's foot type of thing. It's a little longer, kind of furry, though. And it's... when you go to touch it, essentially the ends of the toes wiggle. Oh, no! And the reason it's doing that is if you get lost, it'll point you in the right direction.

No! No! That's fucked up! That is so stressful. Helena is holding their head in their hands. This is too much. And just like, what the fuck? Merrick is disgusted by this, but also like, we're here, right? So we were just in a desert. We were going to die. Come on. Come on. Wait, what kind of foot was it again? It's fairly similar to a rabbit's foot, but instead of like a cute little rabbit, it's this big, kind of like a big furry thing. And then there are like three semi-sharp talons at the end of it. They've sort of been filed down, though. And it's just like a "eh." Like it'll raise one of its little fingers.

Like, yeah. Like if you hold it up, it's like "eh." Like it's like, "Oh, okay, this way, guys." I love this, like this is the lap of luxury. And then it's like, "Ah yes, our keys!" And it's this nasty little fun thing. Oh, it's not nasty at all! It is, it is... I understand that it's like soft and clean. Right. It's a fucking macabre, monstrous thing. It's a disembodied foot that wiggles its toes. Yes. I was just thinking, like, in his head, like, "Oh, that'd make a great necklace." Guys! I was trying to figure out what it came from. Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night.

Welcome to Own a Call. Oh my god. Yay! Yay, we did it. Not for a second. I just want to say... Go ahead. Oh, I said I'm just shocked we all survived. I did not know. Oh, yeah. Personally, I was just going to say, uh, a hundred gold front on a casino is a quick way to slavery. Yeah! As it's a slip and slide. Yep. I think this place is one part Emerald City and one part Las Vegas. Two parts too rich for my fucking blood. Probably one part Sin City. We just haven't got that deep yet. This is going to be interesting. I know there's going to be a catch. I just know there is.

Oh, you might as well already put the shackles on Merrick. [laughter] Not as well. One bad roll. Like we mentioned at the front of the episode, guys, this is a clip from Living in Theria. It's a show that we do each month on Patreon where we tackle a person, place, or thing in the world. Usually you guys either get to vote on it or give us suggestions, and then you ask us a slew of questions and we just try to run down the list and answer every single one of them. This one is over two hours long, so here's a quick clip of it so you can see what you might be missing out on if you don't happen to be on our Patreon. [explosion] Are there any races whose blood might be toxic to a vampire?

Uh, toxic? No. However, there's sort of a...this is going to sound terrible. Think of it like wine. There are some races whose blood just tastes better. There are some...humans are kind of middle of the road, but up there? Elven blood is like, "Ugh, that's pretty damn good." Elven, drow, eladrin. Dragonborn if you can get it. But man, there's a shell you gotta get past. It's like a lobster. It is. You gotta dig in there, and they put up a fight, but dwarf blood is almost rancid. Um, they do not enjoy dwarf blood at all. Halflings and... I feel like we could see a scene where a dwarf is really offended by that.

If a vampire told the dwarf, "No, you taste like shit," I think he'd be really upset. It would probably be like, "I don't want you to eat me anyway. Why not?" It's kind of like when you're gay friends, like, "I'm not interested, dude." Like... "I'm not...is it my hair? What is it? What is it?" Like, I mean, theoretically. Again, that is over two hours long. It was a ton of questions. Thank you guys very much. We also do the Beestry each month, where we tackle a random creature in the world and not only give you guys lore stuff and how they came to be and where they are, their migrating habits, feeding habits, that type of thing, and we give you actual stat blocks so you can run these monsters in your world at home.

Not to mention behind-the-scenes stuff, character chats, our Discord server, Safe Haven Society, and a ton of other stuff. If you're not on our Patreon, you really are kind of missing out. But if you can't support us on Patreon, a simple five-star review on iTunes helps us immeasurably. Passing the show along to a friend, someone you think might enjoy it, just share a link. That type of thing. What we'd like to do is try and drive that Patreon up to the next milestone so we can get that big live Q&A thing. We want to do an Ask Us Anything for the second time.

The first one was really great. You guys showed up in force. We'd like to do it a second time. That's a place where you can ask us any question. Nothing's off limits, and we'll try to answer it to the best of our ability live and on camera. And of course, all of your support goes to helping us pay bills and keeping this whole train running. At the next milestone, Bree is getting another raise, so that's an awesome thing. And we're working our way up to 4,500, where we could just split everything down the middle. So one more time, that is patreon.com/dandr Thank you for your support.

Thank you for listening. We can't wait to see you guys for a brand new episode next week. And then of course, extended rest on the last Friday of the month at 9 p.m. Eastern. And that's always on our Twitch channel. Thank you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye.