Leave it Alone

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We are constantly uploading new one-shot sessions, living in areas, Q&As, newsletters, all kinds of stuff to stave off boredom. We work very, very hard on it, and we can't thank you guys enough for choosing to support us and help us grow the show. Without further ado, let's get on with today's episode. Previously for group A, after taking a mission from the city of Winterhaven to investigate the disappearance of people in the city of Donhurst, the group started off toward the town of Aubrey to begin their journey east. After running into a local legend in the form of Old Claudius, the team dispatched the bear.

And after dismembering it to make it easier to travel with, they continued on their way east. And that's where we pick things up today. [MUSIC ENDS] [GROANING] Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, starting with Kelsey. Or maybe not. Maybe we won't start with Kelsey. Did Kelsey never come back? Oh! Yeah, I didn't hear her sound off. Well, then. I have been muted this entire time. Oh! [LAUGHTER] OK. Did you start getting complex? Did you think we were ignoring you? No.

I just-- I'm stumped. Oh, anyway. Was it worse, and you were actually part of the conversation? Yeah, I thought I was contributing. Aww! Yeah, I did that like 10 minutes ago. It's like those pictures, those memes of what it feels like to listen to a podcast, and you have a bunch of people inside a restaurant, and someone outside the window eating with them. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Yeah. Anyway, so I'm Kelsey, and I play Astrid, the elven archer. [LAUGHTER] Are we some choppies together? We're keeping all this. Oh. And Michael. Hey, I'm Michael, and I play Amvin, the half-elf wizard.

And Robert. Hey, I'm Rob. I play Ubo, druid of the mountain. And Xavier. I'm Xavier, and I'm playing Donovan, the human fighter. And James. Hey, it's James. I play Mistoka, the half-elf rogue. And Susan. Hey, I'm Susan, and I play Mattie, the human cleric. Oh my goodness, guys. I am so pumped for today's session. [SIGH] It is the 8th of Ferriore. Now, we're going to kick things off today like we have kicked off so many sessions before. I need a brave volunteer to roll a flat D20 for me. You know what? Susan's on a roll. Oh, no. I wasted it. Pun intended. Can we just use that one?

Yeah, can we use that one? Oh, those are pre-session rolls. Those aren't-- those spoiled. We can't use those. Let's figure out the math of rolling 20 twice. Let's do it now. It's just 1 in 400. It's-- E. That's a 10. That is above a 10. We're good. That's above average. You're doing great. See, I told you you were on a roll. I don't know why everyone got so weird. It wasn't a 20, though. It wasn't a-- no. But you know, you'll get another. Someday. Someday, guys. So it is a pretty nice spring day. Again, you guys are heading to the lovely town of Aubrey. On foot, there's a beautiful breeze kind of caressing the trees.

You listen to it just kind of rustle leaves and such. Coming up in the road ahead of you, there is a band of travelers. Looks as though there is a man with a floppy hat-- looks to be a man-- driving a cart with a tarp over top of it. And he is flanked on both sides by some pretty well-armored folks. And they're coming up the road opposite you. And I'd say within the next few minutes, they're going to pass. Do they look like escorts? Yeah, you'd say definitely escorts. The way they're-- they don't look like they're from the same place. So they're probably mercs.

They're probably someone like freelance shield hands, that type of thing, that have been hired to watch this cart. Usually, when that happens, it's a merchant or someone may be moving. And they just want to guard-- that they just have enough money to be able to spend on private security to make sure they get through places like the Divide or some of the more ambushy spots on the road. Well, yes. I'd probably elbow Masocha on the arm and just say, well, that guy knows how to travel. And like the other one-- I don't even think Masocha would know to stay too soon or something.

He'd just be like, yep, yep, sure does. I think we should ask about where he's come from, see if there's anything up ahead that beyond Audrey, we need to be worried about. Yeah, we could ask how the road is. It's a good idea, then. I kind of want to know what he's got under the tarp. I mean, I'm just curious. That's all. Uh-huh. And I'll just give the knowing look. I don't even respond. I'm not sure if he'll volunteer that information. So this guy, again, big floppy hat, kind of hunched over, looks to be maybe a little older. But there's a couple of horses in this wagon, and he is going to get to the point where you guys are crossing paths.

And the road's just big enough that your party would probably have to go single file, something like that. You could both be on the road. Are you hailing him? Are you like, oh, hold up, that type of thing? Because otherwise, he's going to keep going. Yeah, I'll flag him down. I'm also curious if I recognize him. And he's got this really raspy voice. That's the first thing you're going to notice about him. Oh. He's going to pull back on the reins here, and these horses are going to stop. How old is he? He could have been a smoker. He could have been-- Yeah, that's fair.

And he is going to grab the brim of his very, very floppy hat and kind of tip it towards you. Well, good day. Good day to you. How far have you been traveling? Anywhere past Aubrey? Been on the road since Aldmoor. How's it looking out there, travel-wise? Well, and he's going to rub his throat just a little bit. Things are clear all the way to town from what we've seen. If you don't mind, we are on a schedule. That's completely fine. I just wanted to make sure that my party here is safe travels all the way to prepare. And I'll see if I get a good glimpse of his face.

He looks to be human, older, but something definitely happened to this guy. Maybe it looks as though he's been disfigured somehow, maybe like a burn to his face and neck. It looks like it's going down. Also, there is a woman in this party who is eyeballing the shit out of you guys because you are also well armored and on the road, which can mean a few things. Sometimes it's just adventurers, that type of thing, which it's a big broad term. Sometimes they're treasure hunters. Sometimes they're monster hunters. Every adventure kind of refers to themselves as having a specialty.

It could also mean that you are also shield hands and maybe you're looking for a client. It could also mean that maybe you're a newly formed bandit group and you just aren't filthy like most bandits and you're looking for somebody to rob. Does it look like she's eyeing us, like checking out our weapons and stuff? Or is she like-- Is she apprehensive? --looking for help with her eyes kind of thing? No, no, no. She's very apprehensive. Like she's got her hand on the hilt of her sword, just kind of ready and eyeballing all of you. Just I think waiting for one of you to motion towards a weapon or maybe motion towards this cart in an abrasive manner.

OK, I was going to ask. Is this someone I should recognize but don't remember the name of? I wouldn't say so, no. OK, good, because there's a few of those. Second question I had, if by any chance he's from Ald'mor-- I haven't been there in like five years, but is it a face I recognize, the dude on the cart? Do me a favor, roll a 5d20. OK, 2 wealth. I would say that maybe his face rings a bell. Like there's something about maybe the eyes, something like that. He didn't have these burns. But this guy would travel long and far, usually taking high priced goods or something like that cross country to make a profit.

OK. I may be reaching, but he was rubbing at his neck. Does he seem like he's in any pain or anything from the burn? Maybe sounds like it. These burns don't look too old, maybe a week or so. Like they look-- it looks like maybe a healer got to him, but maybe a little late. Yeah. Who would like to do me a favor and give me a perception check? I'll do it. All right, let's do it. Perception. Not trained in it, wonderful. Oh. That's an 11. That's two. So there's this big tarp. So there's this big tarp over this wagon. This wagon has an interesting look to it because it's very boxy.

Most wagons kind of have a rounded cap to them, something like that, just to kind of let rain roll off. This is very rectangular, kind of angular. And sticking out of the bottom of this tarp, if it's going to see the tip of a tail-- What kind of tail? Did I not get good enough perception to know-- I would say, well, it's-- Like fur or scales? Darker red scales. Kind of thick. That sounds like a dragonborn, maybe, or a drake. I don't know. We don't know. Are there any-- with that perception, can I see any symbols of the merchant trade or his symbol or any familiar things like that?

No. In fact, the more you look at this card, this doesn't look like a merchant so much. This would have to be a very well-off merchant to be able to afford this many guards. How many guards? There are, for the ones that are dressed up like this lady there that are in pretty heavy-looking armor, there are two of them and three kind of dressed up in a lighter version of it, like maybe not quite leather, but something a little bit heavier. And there's someone in robes in the back. Do they perchance look like slavers? They-- I mean, you could jump to that conclusion.

They don't not look like slavers. Yeah, they don't not look like slavers. Does everyone see the two tales? I would say-- how close is everyone standing to Amthen? Oh, I feel like when they draw attention to the back of the cart, like Astor particularly, would be like, "Ooh, what's going on back there? What are you guys trying to hide?" Yeah, I guess the question would be, how interested would the party be in this point? Because you've stopped now for a few seconds. This isn't just a-- because I imagine as adventurers, you pass people on the road all the time.

It's like, "Hello, good day," and then you move on. This is a full-blown conversation, and it's an odd one with odd people, and they're transporting something odd. So we're odd too. Yeah, I guess since Amthen drew attention to it, we'd be like, "Wait, why is he so interested? Like, none of us all saw the tale, but now he's like pushing it." So we're like, "What did he see?" Donovan's a bit back though, because he respects the profession of transporter, and he also has a job to do. So he's not as keen on it as anyone else. Ubo didn't see the tales for two reasons.

Number one, it's a social thing going on, so he's tuned out because that's not his job. But number two, he is still super annoyed that we are not pushing toward our destination. Question. Is there a role I could do to kind of figure out what the tale belongs to that will then determine my course of ignoring or not? Yes, totally. So, okay. Give me a nature check. All righty. What do I have for that? Okay. Okay. That's not a great role, but the good news is that you got a good look at these tales, and there's only so many things this could be. Obviously, one red scaly.

That limits the... You know it's not a wolf or a bear. We're limiting this list quite a bit. Now, judging by the thickness of the tale and what you saw, these are most likely dragonborn. That's what I was wondering. I was hoping it was just a dragon, just a regular dragon. Yeah, just a dragon that fits the cart, you know? Maybe. I thought it was a little Drake as well. Or like, if I... It's a person. Been listening to some stingers. Okay, I'm in. But there are six of them? How... How can we take them? On the verge of dying from one cancer. Okay, so there's five and one almost dead.

But they're heavily armed individuals, and you said one that looked like it had like, almost looked like a kind of a caster, if I could recognize one. Give me a nice perception check. I believe you did this before, but if not, then... Just to get a nice second look at this party, now that you realize, oh wow, that is not... Doubles, everybody. I get a reward for that, right? Yeah, the reward is limited knowledge. Love it. That's an eight again, everybody at home. So this... You definitely recognize these armor-clad individuals as shield hands, and shield handing is the profession of essentially guarding people on the road.

They're just... They're mercs. They're people who sometimes have a vested interest in making sure cargo gets to its destination, and sometimes they're grifters who will wait till somebody is in a weakened state and then rob them themselves. Usually, though, that's not the case. They are, depending on how much they're being paid, usually that's how loyal they are going to be, because they usually get like half up front and then half when the job's done. So there are definitely five of them, one of which looks like a caster. The other look like they are...

Three of them look to be a little younger, and two of them look to be like they've been doing this for a while. And then there's Johnny Smoker in the front seat, driving this car. And you guys are weighed down by old Claudius, so just... So heavy. - Were they moving very fast in their cart? They're kind of slugging along, right? - They're... He's doing... They're moving at a decent pace. He's obviously not trying to outrun the people walking with him. Like, they're not setting any land speed records. - Okay. Then I'm gonna let them pass me, and then I'm gonna kind of like motion forward, like we're all gonna keep walking, but I kind of like bring everybody together as I'm like walking towards Aubrey.

Mainly, I don't want to do anything without the whole group, but I don't want to make sure. And I don't want to tip them off. - So a quick question. Donovan saw all this too, right? - Saw the tails? - Yeah. - I don't think so. I said he was kind of like holding back a bit. - Okay. Okay. - But he sees that Amven is insisting, and they seem kind of in a hurry, and so is Donovan, quite frankly. So he's just gonna say, "All right, well, Amven, if we're done here, we have a job to do, and so do they, so we'll be on our way, and they're gonna be too." - Astor's gonna cut in actually, just come here like, "Just one quick thing before we part ways.

So we just took down this big old bear, and they're gonna point over their shoulder at the giant bear course." Just to say, it's like, just to... Apparently it's some sort of local legend or something, and I'm just curious if you guys know anything about it. I'm not from around here. Seems kind of like a cool story, you know? - They're going to look at each other, and then look at this bear, or the pelt, or whatever. - This depleted uranium bear. - That looks like a forum argument. - And then they're going, "No, no, no." Sorry, that's not... - Crunchy episodes are good episodes.

I like it. - I can't say that I know anything about it, though. That's a mighty fine take down. You should be proud. - This is quite the battle, but I'll let you be on your way. Thank you for your time. - And he's going to doff his cap to you, and they're going to... Meander, he's gonna give a "Yah!" And they're going to get back on their way here. - Just before they leave, as they leave Donovan from the back, he's gonna wave them and stop just a bit. "Oh, just before you go." - Stab. - All dead. Kill them all. Part of our job description is to keep working towards the interests of the city of Winterhaven, so you wouldn't be bringing any dangerous or illegal stuff over there, are you?

- We're not going to Winterhaven. - That's good news. - Oh, where are you headed then? - Now there's definitely an eye roll coming from this distance, like, "Oh, for God's sake." - A quick insight, though, just for good measure. - Hey, hit me. - I wasn't prepared. - That was a pop quiz you sprung on yourself. - Oh, 14. - That sounds pretty on the level to you. It doesn't sound like... At the very least, that's not their destination. - All right. - "We're traveling to Ebony Harbor." - Okay. - And he's kind of narrow in his eyes, like, "Are we done? Are we gonna get stopped again?" Like that type of thing.

- Yeah. I'm just gonna tip a hat without my hat and look back towards the party. - You know, I kind of can't let this go. You know, my friend was right. We are sort of representatives of Winterhaven and we're kind of, you know, allowed to inspect things we think are a little off. So I think you should show us what's in your cart. - Mm-mm. - "I think you should show us some credentials." - Mattie looks down at her tabard from the Church of the Montaur. - "I also looked down at my tabard from the Church of the Montaur." - And then Mattie looks at you like, "Really?

Come on." - I'm just gonna look at the bear. - This bear gives me the right to inspect. - Winterhaven wallet license, it says inspector. No. - What do we got here? Anything? - Ambit would be the one to have something if he did. Or probably not, I'm gonna guess. - Nothing that would say he has the right to pull over. - No. - Just randomly search vehicles. - You know what? I think that's a group B problem. - You know, this would have been the perfect time if I had it to use that spell, and I'm like, "Gee, what am I ever gonna use this for?" The illusory script where I could have a script that was-- - Wow.

- Did we get anything from Winterhaven? We didn't. - Not to pull a review. - I'm a good liar. - I mean, if you want to give it a shot, what would you say? So this would need to be a good enough lie that basically you're doing a Jedi mind trick. You don't need to see our paperwork. Like that kind of thing. Like you're doing some shit here. - Well, see, they didn't give us any papers or anything because if we got found out and we're risking ourselves here, so you're just gonna have to trust me on it. - Can I-- would it give Masoka a disadvantage on his roll if I look at Mattie with my teeth gritted and like wide eyes?

- Are you trying to give him disadvantage? - I'm not trying. That's what's happening. - Okay. Just give me a raw persuasion check. Let's see what happens. If this is really good. - Wait, would it be persuasion? - Me or deception? - Oh, deception, not persuasion. Sorry. - Okay. - Deception. It's like, this is a straight up lie. I don't know why I thought persuasion. - Yeah, that's what I was thinking. No. - Wow. - You're about eight? - Yeah. - You are a good liar. - Actually, wow. - How did you lie more often? - That's why I tried it. (laughter) So at this point, the guy in the wagon is, he's standing up and turning around facing the party.

So the wagon is well and truly halted. And as he's getting ready to speak, this woman is going to speak up, who's clearly in command of these other mercenaries. "All right, we have been more than patient with you, but if you don't mind, we have a job to do, and people are expecting a delivery. I'm sure you people should be going about your business." And while she's speaking, she has her, she definitely has her hand on the hilt of her weapon. Like she's like, just letting you know. It's like, it's just, come on. - Is she looking, is she scanning everybody?

Or is she like narrowing it on Masoka? - I would say probably narrowing it on Masoka right now, because he's the one, he's the first one to attempt to search the vehicle. Like he is the first one to not be making small talk, but just be like, okay, this is too fishy. We need, you know, that type of thing. - Okay. Masoka is going to put, he holds his daggers, like one on each side. He's just going to put his hands, like he's going to pawn the hands of the daggers. - So what are those tails? - She is going to narrow her eyes and look at Masoka, trophies. And she's almost arching one eyebrow, like test me on that.

- Ubo looks to Maddie at this point. What's Maddie's expression? - Maddie is quizzical because I want to say the reason why she, if she had noticed that there were living like people in there, she would have spoken up. So I want to say she didn't see it either. Maybe she was talking to Ubo when everyone else saw it. So now she's like, okay, Amven has pushed this and now Masoka has pushed this. What is in that cart? So now she's like, what, why is everyone really pushing this? - If I move towards Maddie and Ubo, does she get, I don't know where everyone is in relation to the cart and myself.

Does she make any like movements or? - Maybe Donovan, Ubo and I were in the back or something. - At this point, I would say these guards are definitely flanking. They're on either side of this cart, right? So I would put you guys behind them. Like you were passing, you probably stopped started a couple of times and each time they traveled like two feet. Oh, wait a second. I got it. Oh, lovely weather, that type of thing. And like you guys kept stopping. So you're probably right behind them. - Yeah, or Donovan and Ubo and I were in the front. So we passed it first without really looking.

And then the people in the back looked. 'Cause we would lead the charge 'cause we're the heavy hitters who could take damage. - Are there dragonborn in Brightport? - Sometimes. - Enough that Miss Oka would know what a dragonborn is? - Oh, I would say all of you would know what a dragonborn is. - Okay. - Maybe not have any direct ties to dragonborn or have any specific interactions with them, but you know what they are. - Would you know a dragonborn tail from like a drake tale? - That could be a little tricky depending on the size of the drake. Usually drake tales are much longer and thinner.

Whereas a dragonborn tale is a bit thicker. - Okay. - Sure. - Would two drake fit in this cart? - No. - Okay. - Not unless they were babies. - Okay. Miss Oka will divert his attention from this woman to the cart. - Is there anyone in there? - Evan makes it up next to Maddie and Ubo. - Maddie will become very alert now. - No one is going to respond from inside the cart. At this point, this woman is going to draw her weapon, which is quite a decent sized sword. And no one else is going to draw their weapon yet, but they are definitely on high alert. And she's doing this for show more than anything.

And you're getting the sense that maybe she's done this before. So the rest of her people know that it's like, all right, following me if this gets messy, but... - Okay. Before anything else happens, Maddie's gonna throw a Guiding Bolt at her. - Oh, Jesus. - Oh, shit. - Maddie's gonna pull a gun. - Yeah. - And Baja's gonna shoot it. - No, just flees the crime scene. - I've got warrants. - I really hope these are actually Dragonborn. - Yeah, I know. I really hope so too. - Oh, well. - Jeez, Maddie. - Of all the people I thought would go off in this Mexican standoff that was happening, it wasn't Maddie.

- Dude, did you remember? Maddie with the slavers and stuff, she's hard. - Exactly. - I love her. - But it's assumptions. It's just because Masocha said... But that's fair. Has Masocha said something? - No. - Yeah. - Get away. - It's so nice. - No, no, it's great. It's just great. - All right. - This was probably gonna happen anyways where we were going. So better to get in one shot first. - Oh, yes. - See, Emyn, that's how you do it. - Oh, good lord. [LAUGHTER] - I like to determine our odds first, but, you know, YOLO, I guess. [LAUGHTER] - That's what Emyn should yell every time he goes to the battle.

- It should be the title of your book. - YOLO. - YOLO, I guess. - YOLO. - YOLO, I guess. - Jason, did I hit? - Hold on one second. I'm getting a map ready because there's a fight now. Like, this is not-- - Susan, I thought you were going to say, before anything happens, Maddie tries to talk. - No. - No. - Before this goes any further, [IMITATING SOUNDS] - Yeah. - Hold on, one more question, one more question. - Holding her amulet sideways. [LAUGHTER] - Anyway, from what is happening to, oh my god, Gunstrand real fast. [LAUGHTER] - We're a very anti-slaver kind of team.

- I'm picking that up. - Yeah. - I don't remember voting on that. [LAUGHTER] - OK, like, at least three of us are. - Ubu is very anti-slaver. He just still doesn't know what's going on. [LAUGHTER] - Like, right now, time has stopped for the things to happen. But, like, Donan was mid-sigh. And, like, the bolt is just, like, next to his face. And, like, his eye is just, like, looking towards it in slow motion. - What the-- - And I was going to, like, utter under my breath about what I saw. So, let me play that in. Or-- [LAUGHTER] - Well, maybe it would be for Ubu. [LAUGHTER] - This point.

- It's good. We need someone to kick down the doors. - Yeah. - That's what's been lacking. - Good thing I have all my spells prepared for combat. - I guess so. - God, I need more health. [LAUGHTER] - Aww. - Get in the cage. - I forgot you got 13 health. [LAUGHTER] - Just hide under the bear pelts. - That's why I got the sniper range. I'm just going to run the fuck out and shoot from afar. - All right. Wait for me. It's going to take me two rounds. Don't kill everyone yet. [LAUGHTER] - All right. Here's what we're going to do. - I forgot something. [LAUGHTER] - Everyone.

OK. So here-- oh, jeez. OK. So is that approximately where you guys feel like you'd be? If not, just, like, rearrange within a square or two there. So Veteran Shield Hand, number one. - Yeah, who did I shoot at? - Veteran Shield Hand, number one is what you're shooting at. And here's the thing. That was great. That's a 23. That is going to hit her. - OK. So I'll just do damage then. - Yeah. Go ahead and do damage. - So, Evan, you were having a conversation hiding behind Maddie. [LAUGHTER] - That's where I'm like, OK, you didn't know you were getting into a fight.

I feel like these are being positioned after. - I was thinking, like, in between, like, Ubo and Maddie. Like, I was walking out this way, and then I decided to walk back when Basuku was trying to talk. So. - All right. Everyone give me a favorite role initiative, because this is happening. - Yeah, you got a surprise round. - So she is going to take this blast to the chest and just be irate. Just kind of a cute son of a bitch. - Oh, no. - Let's try the bonus scene. - Four, five, seven. - Sorry, guys. - Dave LeBrang. - Michael's new character has a lot of HP. That's his main feature.

- I work for the post office. I'm out of here. - What's that shit? - Classic 10. - Ubo's doing well. - Yeah, Ubo's doing good. - He's carrying the team. - Ubo's always ready to throw down. - Like you do. - All right, let's. - At least a couple of them roll badly, too. - Yeah. - Junior Shield Hand, number one. So these people are used to guarding. They're used to kind of like bouncers, basically. They're supposed to exude confidence and try to not get into fights. But if the shit hits the fan, like it just did, they are trained to defend this cart with their lives.

- I think. - Wait, don't kill everyone. - I think. One, two. Okay, this Junior Shield Hand might not be as experienced. So I think he would run right up and mix it right up in between three or four of you. Probably not the smartest. - Right up next to the half-orc. - Yes, probably. But he is going to target Maddie. - He was so naive. He had so much promise. - That's Gregory. All 11 is going to miss Maddie. Goodbye, Gregory. - Goodbye, Gregory. - Yeah, that's Ubo. You're face to face with Gregory. - Okay. - What advantage? - Well, I wanted to do other things, but then Gregory got all up in there.

So, oh. - Whoever attacks What's-Your-Name gets advantage too. - Okay. This is... - Because you're shiny. - Shiny. - He's a lightning rod, basically. - Yeah, it's tough. I'm figuring it out. - Okay. - Let's do Thunderwave? - Question mark? - Yeah. I wanted to do something else, but then Gregory walked in here and messed it up. So now I'm like, like I sat there and I was like, I've got my plan and it's going to be real. And maybe I'll do it next round. I'll keep you in suspense. But I'm going to do Thunderwave. Okay, 15 foot cube originating from you. - Oh, that did a lot of stuff.

Okay. Well, anyway. - Oh, it thinks I'm targeting myself. - Oh, that's why. Shieldhand Jr., Gregory. He's going to succeed. So nothing's gonna happen to him, sadly. This woman did not save, so she's going to get hit. - All right. I'm throwing my thunder damage. - Okay. - Man, wow, that was really pitiful. - It was three. It's, you know. - Yeah, but she's also pushed on a failed save. A creature takes 2d8 thunder damage is pushed 10 feet away from me. - Oh, okay. So like one, two, there you go. - Yeah. - All right, sweet. - Gregory did not get out of my face though.

- No, Greg's still there. - Okay. And I tell all the bad guys, you just wait until next turn when I do something super cool and then I pass the turn. - Oh man, Shieldhand Jr. number three. This is interesting. You know what? He's going to target Masoka and he's going to have advantage. - Oh, fucking Gregory. - 13 will miss. Wow, this is a lot of crap. (laughs) So this, the chain smoking man who's driving this cart is actually a priest. - Yeah, I figure something's up with that. - Yeah, so let's see. What would he like to do? - Do we see some kind of holy symbol?

Do we know what kind of priest? - I would say that, I wouldn't say that he would necessarily wear it on his sleeve type of thing. It's more just like, oh, you're getting a priestly vibe after. Yeah. Okay, so let's, I'm thinking a guiding bolt for a guiding bolt. - He has to use a holy symbol to use that. (laughs) - Wow, you just, wow. You had that ready to go. - No, look, we're a judge party, okay? - Yes. - Wowza, okay. - It'd actually be cool if it turns out it's a monitor and he's like a slaver too. But I don't know if I monitor some like chain smoking type.

That's the interesting thing, I'm curious. - Actually, it's Melora. - That's the nature. - Nature. - Well, weed, yeah, okay, I get you. - 420, please. - Can we add him to our party? - Only after I kill him. - Yeah, you got some apologizing to do first. - We got another body to drag to Audrey. - How much does he weigh, Jason? - 8000 pounds. - What's building the cart actually question? - Uranium two, okay. - I'm actually curious. - Do they have something pulling the cart? - Well, yeah, they got a couple of horses. - Okay, cool. - Yeah. - So it's a functional cart. - Free cart.

- Just saying. - He is going to target Donovan and he's gonna use Guiding Bolt and miss. - Oh man, these guys suck. - Well, he is super high. - He is. - Shouldn't be driving. Yeah, Donovan is gonna probably shield up, like block it with that and just like, kind of like flabbergasted by the chain of events just occurred, just like give him the dagger eyes. - Oh, Maddie, you are up. - Okay, there's a dude in her face. - Gregory. - So she's gonna attack that dude. With her mace, she's gonna take out her mace and try to slam it into his face. - Oh wow. - Nice to the horns.

- And not use it. - As an eight. - Everyone's just like, missing each other. - I feel like no one's invested in the fight, that's the problem. - And then she's gonna notice that someone breakables right up front. So she's going to cast Shield of Faith on Sokka. - Maddie, you had advantage on that. - Oh, you do? - Oh no. - You do have advantage. - Let me do it again. - Oh, that'll hit. - And she is gonna slam it in his face. - Nice. - A lot of hoity bits. - Yep. - Oh, seven damage to Gregory. - And then as she brings it down, a shimmering field of light appears around Sokka because he's breakable.

- Nice, nice. - I'm sure he recognizes the feeling by now. - Oh yes. - I'm sorry, what was that sound? - Because he's an instigator. - That's where the stabbing range is. - Wait, wait, wait. Are you lecturing in on being a- you're the one who fired the first shot. - Hey, I'm up front for a reason. - But you're not, you're in the back. - But I usually am. - Okay. - Oh, good lord. Donovan. - Okay, Donovan's gonna change from Lucking Eyes with the priest and Luck Eyes with Maddie. Well, or the side of Maddie's head, I guess. - She brings a mace down on someone's face.

- Yeah, he's gonna shout, "What the fuck?" And then he's gonna look around at the people drawing their swords and everything and gassing spells and the bleeder that's on her butt. And he's just gonna yell, "Nobody has to die unless you're N'uval, I guess. If you can prove you're not N'uval, we're not killing you. But if you do, you're forcing my hand, man." And he's getting really nervous about this. Not nervous, but like, worked up. - So you're asking them if they're N'uval while you're... - Yeah, I'm trying to do kind of like my botched, not persuasion, botched diplomacy effort.

- Right. - And while you look at Maddie, she has like bloodlust. Like complete, "I wanna kill these fuckers." - Okay, well, yeah, that does not send out a diplomacy tome. - I'm sorry if I give you disadvantage, but she's like in a haze. - Mm, oh, ooh. Um, let's say I... Am I using an action for that? Am I rolling persuasion? - I... - Or it was just a thing I said. - You know what, just go for it. Just for now. I'm not gonna say that's your whole action, but this is gonna take up a few seconds. - So you mean you're letting me do another action? - Yes, go ahead.

- Okay, cool. He's gonna try to shove Maddie back. - Oh! - After persuasion? - After saying that and after seeing the like... Yeah, that kind of like, he's trying to talk to them and like holding you back with one hand, but, um, or like on your forehead while she walked towards it. I know he's actually gonna try to like push you back next to Astor with his shield. Not like slamming you, but like it's gonna be an attack. A shove attempt. - Okay. - Hmm. - 'Cause you're going crazy. So that would be an athletics check. It's gonna be against your athletics or acrobatics, depending on which ones the better.

- Um, athletics. - Athletics. - Clearly, yeah. - Maddie's extensive history as a trapeze artist is gonna come in real handy here. - Ah, the Flying Graces. - So you're trying to beat a 14. - Holy shit! - 21. So I'm gonna move you back, uh, five feet. Let's say here. - So the sequence of events is, um, Donovan's going to be like, "You can prove your new volvit!" So their response will probably be like, "You fucking attacked us! Like, we didn't do anything to you!" Um, meanwhile, Maddie is just foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog, just trying to get at these fuckers.

And Donovan just sort of pushes Maddie back with his shield. - Yeah, last thing he's gonna do is stand in between Maddie and Gregory. - Okay, what would Maddie's reaction be? - Maddie does not curse. That is not her thing. So... - Okay. - What the fuck?! - And Donovan's got his back to you. - Oh, the disrespect! - Oh, I mean, I'm just still fighting. - Right, yes. - Yes, it's just... - Yes. - There's six angry men that you're fighting. - But he's also farting. All right, that's my turn. - Holy shit. Okay, veteran shield hand number two is going to move down here.

Target... Hmm... Yeah, target Masoka. He has a multi-attack, so he's going to swing twice with advantage on both swings. - Awesome. - Masoka and... 23 is gonna hit. 13 is gonna miss. - Very nice. - Yeah. And he's gonna do eight damage to Masoka. And that will end his turn. Masoka, you're up! You have been struck. Okay, I'll heal target veteran shield hand two because he actually hit him. He will look him in the eye and then motion to the dead bear and say, "I killed that!" And he will attack him with his dagger. - All right. Oh, that'll hit. - Beautiful. Oh, did I?

Was I supposed to... Oh, it doesn't matter. I was supposed to have advantage. - No, not on... No. Which one are you attacking? - V. - V, yeah. No advantage. Well, I would have from Matty's spell, right? - No, that's better. - Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. Damage... Hey, max damage, eight! And I will use my... Hmm... Yeah, I'll hit him with the second dagger. Okay. Well, I mean, I'll try. You will hit him with the second dagger. Anything else? Let's all wait a second. It's Astor's turn. Yeah, it is. Okay, so I think Astor's gonna go for the priest. Oh. Because that's the... Well, kind of like two things.

Like A, Castor, and B, that he seems to be the person with the equipment. So maybe if we kill him, they won't feel as obligated to protect. But who knows? At that point, we'll probably have killed a couple of them. So yeah, I'm just gonna go with that. Oh, that'll hit. Poor priest. That is five damage. Okay, and then I'm going to try and hide specifically from him with bonus action. The cunning action. So that's a stealth check. It's a 15. Sweet. Okay. To check on that, what do you have to roll? Perception to see you? It's against his passive. Passive. Okay. Yeah, but in combat, I don't know if you'd rule that it's disadvantage or something.

Last time it was raining and stuff. And you're not really hidden anywhere. You're just still next to us. You're docking next to friends. So like that's the only thing. I was gonna hide and then move, but I couldn't still move anyways and try hiding next turn. It's fine. If you want to move backward behind that bush, let's say that. Okay. Yeah, that's... Yeah, I just had it reversed order, but that totally works doing it that way. Sweet. All right. There you go. Amphan? Now he thinks I'm the archer. It was Amphan. So seeing what's going on, seeing the priest, he's like, let's just get this over with.

Pulls out his diamond and targets the priest. Being of the same understanding, he then rolls this. Oh, good Lord. That'll hit. Yes. That's a good one. And here we go. Oof, 15 damage. Oh man, Junior shield hand two is going to six. Move here and target Amphan with his light crossbow. Wow. And with so hard? Okay, it's finally this lady's turn after she rolled tremendously terrible for... She got a two for her initiative. She is going to move forward and target Masoka. And what she wants to do is hack a path all the way back to Maddie, basically. So targeting Masoka, two rolls with advantage.

Let's do this longsword attack. 20 will hit and... oh, 11 will miss. Wow. Missed again. All right. Masoka... Boop. That will be 12 damage to Masoka. That'll bring up shield. Hit... Gregory! It's Gregory, guys. Come on, Greg. You know better than this. Does he target? No, he's going to target Ubo. Gregory is... There is a contest here with Ubo. And Gregory can't lose. Bad move, Gregory. Let's see. He is going to swing... 16 hits! Max damage. He's going to do 7 damage to Ubo. Ubo, your rebuttal. So his maximum damage is 7, you say? Ubo will use a bonus action to manifest Flameblade.

Okay. With a maximum damage of 18. He will proceed to target Gregory. Oh no, Gregory. Do I have advantage? I guess I have advantage, don't I? You have advantage. Boom, advantage. See how this speeds up combat? Yeah. Ubo is going to point for the fences out past left field. And he is going to slam Gregory out of the park with Flameblade. Please miss. It's a crit! Yes! And you hit the crit table, too. Alright, here is... Let's see, how do I tell it I want crit damage? Or does it know? It knows. *Laughter* Okay. We still roll on the table for funsies? It already did it!

Oh, I didn't see it. Uh, it's a secret roll, so here's what happened. Ah, I see. Ubo rolled a crit. That's... So 26 that hits, it's a crit anyway. Then rolled a 3, which is just enough to roll on her crit table. Then rolled a 20. Fatal blow. You deal a terrible blow to your target. They instantly drop to zero hit points and must roll a flat d20. On a 16 or higher, they cling to life, but with two failed death saving throws. The chances are so low for it to happen, you guys. Yeah, that was added as a caveat because of something that happened in a one-shot. But here's the thing.

Gregory is so dead. Um, we're not doing that for this particular NPC. If it were a bigger NPC, maybe. Gregory's dead. Gregory walked up to this half-orc and cut him. And then Ubo knocked his head clean from his shoulders. And quarterized the wound. Before blood could spurt out the top of Gregory, I would say the flame blade just sealed it shut. Is Ubo still confused as to what's going on? I mean, he's half-orc. He understands battle, right? He doesn't have the same kind of like, like, um, moral conflict when a fight breaks out. It's like, oh, my friends are fighting.

Well, I better fight too. Right? He's in his element right now. Yeah. Um, so yeah. Okay. Uh, I don't, uh, oh, I've already used my bonus action, so I can't heal myself. I'm done. Okay. And thus ends the tale of Gregory. And Masoka. Bye, Felicia. Hey! Yeah. Uh, Junior Shield Hand 3 is going to target Masoka and with advantage swing and hit. Oh, bye-bye. And three damage to Masoka. Masoka still stands. Priest's turn. This is my fault, by the way. Not entirely. Yeah, no. Can you take all the blame? I could have left them. I could have just shut up and they would have passed.

Well, I think it was a team effort. It was, it was Matty. Matty did this. I blame the Dragonborn for getting caught. Gotta find out they're like prisoners of war or something. They're probably the worst people in the world. Yeah, they're actually prisoners. This priest is going to heal himself. Did that hurt? So he's gonna regain nine. Okay, and then he's ready for round two. Let's go. Uh, and that will bring up, who does that bring up? Matty. Matty. Okay. Um, can I use my action to push Masoka out of there? Yeah, I mean, sure. Do I get hit by three people in the process?

Like, I take his place. Well, okay. Here's, hmm. Put him right between those two veterans. Okay, yeah, I'm about to say, how could you approach that would get you, you could move to Masoka's, you could move to Masoka's left and push him diagonally down. And that would just put him next to the junior shield hand. That would get him out of the brunt of the danger. But can you, can you push me to the top left corner of the carriage? No. Just literally pick Masoka up and toss. Does the push instigate any- Would that be my action or bonus? That would be action.

Okay. Um, my, my, my thought being, does that, uh, does that, I would say that would not, uh, trigger any attacks. No, I would say that wouldn't. Okay. Well, while she's pushing him, she's gonna be like, "Oh my god, I feel better!" And then do healing word, because that's bonus action. Okay, well, let's do the healing word first and let's see if you push Masoka. Okay, then I'm sorry, I'll move everyone back. Okay, uh, healing word. Gorgeous. Seven hit points back to Masoka. Uh, so, uh, Masoka wouldn't know this is coming, so do give me an athletics check.

Okay. Eleven? That's an eleven. What? And he's small. And I think- I'm guessing this would be Masoka's acrobatics? Or athletics. Which is higher? Uh, I would say acrobatics. Acrobatics, I got plus four, athletics, plus one. So acrobatics is higher. Okay. So that would not be enough to push- Yeah, that would not be enough to push him out of the way. Why, did you roll? No. Oh, god damn it, roll, sorry, I was just doing the base. I mean, I know he's acrobatic by nature. No, that won't be enough. That's what I did in my head, it's like, oh, he has a tent, oh, wait, he didn't roll.

So yeah, that's not gonna be enough to push Masoka out of the way. But at least we're together. Yeah. Donovan? And then, uh, Mattie's gonna yell, "You want me? Leave him out of this." Some of them definitely want you. Now that the- Now that her friends are in danger, the haze is kind of- The murderlust is leaving. All right, what's the ruling on walking through allied squares? You're fine. Okay. So as he's kind of like shoveling past Ubo and- Uh, shuffling past Ubo and Amvin and then Mattie and then Masoka, and inserts himself right in this nice little area, he's gonna say, "Nobody wants no one!

This is stupid!" I'm kind of doing it in a hushed voice, but he's yelling that, for neighbor reasons. And he's gonna turn to the leader and with the top of the war pick, kind of try to knock the air out of her and do a non-lethal. Attack on her. Okay, so just to be clear, you are- You're saying this fighting has gone on long enough, and then you're going to body check her with the tip of your weapon. Yeah. Okay. I'm saying- I'm not saying this fighting is gone on long enough. I forgot the second part that I wanted to say. Oh! Yeah, that makes sense. And he's gonna say, "This is just a job for you and us.

There's no need to die over this." And he doesn't use the pick of his war pick, so kind of sending a message. Just like, "This is the last chance!" Huh. And he's gonna use Goating Attack on her, because he's gonna wink. All kinds of mixed messages. No, not the wink. No. Let me just find my attack. Okay, she's selected. War pick. Here we go. Oh, that'll definitely hit. That's 25. So on hit, I will use a... Superiority die to have her roll a Wisdom save. To see if she gets Disadvantage on attacks on other people than me. She needs to hit 15. What's the roll? Wisdom save.

Wisdom save. Okay. Okay. Veteran Shield hand 2. That's on her turn, right? No, it's right now. If she fails, she gets Disadvantage on attacks on people other than me. Oh, yeah, no, that's not... Yeah, okay. Then she's gonna fail that. All right, so now I deal damage, because it was all part of my attack. And I add my d8, so I'll just roll it. Eight. I'll just add it to my modifier. All right. So you won't have to. And roll damage. Gorgeous. Whoo. 20 damage. Good Lord. Non-lethal damage. She did. She did. Okay. Veteran Shield hand number 2. This is... You struck their leader.

They are going to turn their attention to Donovan. And my message of peace. Okay. Jesus. Okay, so he gets another swing at just Donovan, please. That's a crit. Oh, but it doesn't roll on the crit table. Okay. Boy. Okay. So you crit on the second attack. So I just want to... I'm gonna use a reaction to repose them. Okay. But then he can do his crit. If you want. Go, redhead. Okay, cool. So I'm just gonna attack Noraly. I want this to be a new cannon now because I've been playing a lot of God of War. So he turns around and sees the attack coming. And the reason he missed is because he brought his shield up to kind of just slam it into the attack and create an opening for the repose to happen.

It's very cool. And every time I'm going to use repose, that's what happens. Okay. And yeah, I'm gonna target him. Use my war pick. Oh, that'll hit. So I'm gonna throw the 8 again to add to the damage, just 4. I'm gonna add it now. Roll damage. And it's also non-lethal damage. Okay, so that is 12 damage to the Shield Hand. Now, the first swing, obviously, he is going to miss. You are going to repose, blam, strike him, and he is going to come back with a fervor and crit on Donovan. Oh, 23 damage to Donovan. That's max damage. Yeah, that was a lucky, lucky swing.

Alright. And after recoiling from that, he's probably going to be like, he got a hit. Let's say it hit his forehead and he's bleeding from the forehead. So he's got the blood pouring down, covering his face, and he's kind of going to grit his teeth and with a half smile, he's going to say, "It's not worth it." Masocha. Now, Donovan is trying to get some sanity here on the battlefield, trying to get everybody to stop. How would Masocha feel? Well, he's probably drooling at this point, but I think he would take that into consideration. Can I try to grab Veteran's Shield Hand 2 and hold my dagger to her neck?

Oh, wow. Well, what you could do is you can try and do a grab and see if that's successful first. Okay. Alright, what after all? Okay, so for a grapple, you are taking your attack action. So that's going to be your whole thing. And you're making an athletics check. Okay. And this would be against her. Oh, definitely her athletics. Alright. What do I have to roll? Athletics check. No, I know, but what's the magic number? Well, she gets to roll after you. Okay. Oh, that's a six. So she's got to do better than a six. Not by too much, but better than a six. So she's going to just shrug that off.

Okay. You have a bonus action by any chance. Your potions count as bonus action? You can use your bonus action to disengage as a rogue. You have the cutting action, so you can do that and then get out of there. As a bonus. Okay. Is disengage five foot, though? Where could he go? No, but he could disengage and then move. Yeah, he's full. I used my whole turn, didn't I? Not your movement. And you have a movement and a bonus action. You're a rogue, so your entire thing is slipping in and out. So you can actually move your full movement speed away. Does it have to be like, can I go up or does that count as...

Oh, yeah. If you go through them, they're going to hit you. Yeah. Okay. But you can get away from them. Like you can move back around them. Back towards Andru. Yeah. And then... Yeah. Okay, I'll wuss out. I'll do that. I'll just come back here. It's not wussing out. It's strategic. Strategic wussing out. Yeah, strategic wussing. Okay. All right. Aster. Okay, so I'm going to keep taking a shot at this priest. There we go. First, I'm going to duck behind another tree. So I'm still in stealth and doesn't know where I am anymore. Then, so that means I get advantage. Is that how that works?

When you... If you move, do you have to stealth again or is it just... No, no, the way that I... is that I like duck behind the tree and then hit. So that he didn't see where I moved next to. That's what I'm trying to play. So I can just stay in one spot and keep hiding because then that would be dumb, which I think is what I did last time. But it's okay. I'm bringing this up. Yeah. That'll hit. Hit it. And then I also get the sneak attack because it's with advantage. So that's 1d4. So I'm going to do the smart thing that Xavier did and roll that first and then add it to the...

That's a d6 actually. A d6. Oh, it's a d4. Oh, sorry. I saw four. I'm done. Wait. No, you're right. I'm confused. So I'm adding four to the damage. And then... 12 damage to the priest. Okay. And then I'm going to take my bonus action to hide again. Just to see if I can do that again next turn. Nope. No. He knows exactly where I am. Yeah, he's caught wise. Okay. That's fine. Amven. Hello. Hi. All right. As both Junior Shildhand 2 and I guess Veteran Shildhand 2 is looking at Donovan or Maddie, Amven is walking slowly to the left and his eyes are all kind of icy and he's got this like ice forming around him looks at the Junior Shildhand 2 and says, "You really don't know who you're messing with.

You should all leave." And casts Ice Knife. That's a failure. That Shildhand is going to fail. Cool. So then let's see. He missed the attack, but the extra thing. On a hit. Nope. Each creature within five feet explodes and then must succeed on a dexterity throw or take 2d6 cold damage. So the Veteran Shildhand 2 is taking 2d6 cold damage. Yes. Yes. How does this work? Because I didn't hit. Do I just hit use the blood dot for this or does I have to do it manually? Oh, there it is. There it is. There's a blood drop. Yeah. So I should just target Veteran Shild 2, untarget this guy.

Yep. And do this. That'll do it. Six damage. Anything else? No, I wish it worked because I would have been cooler. All right. Junior Shildhand 2. This is ridiculous. He's going to target Anvin with his crossbow and that'll hit. I would like to use a reaction. Okay. I am going to use shield, which is a reaction that gives me a bonus of plus AC. What is that? 20? Yeah. So I guess that wouldn't matter then. No. Save it for later. Yeah. Let's save it. If only it was one less. Yeah. Oh, he's going to do eight damage to Anvin. Three quarters of your life. Good Lord. Okay. Okay.

Veteran Shildhand 1. This woman is having a rough day. Donovan is saying this is just a job. Don't die for this. Also while striking her and none of the other party members seem to be on the same trolley, like this on either side. So she is faced with a conundrum. Does she call for an end to the fighting or does she continue to press the attack? I think we should leave this up to a d20 roll. 10 or higher. She is going to call for a stop for the fighting here. That's a seven. Alrighty then. She made her choice. That's right. She, yep. I'm going to say she's going to continue.

Yeah, Donovan. Absolutely. A hundred percent. So, just target Donovan. Good. And 24 will hit. She gets one more. That's a crit. Oh, doesn't roll on the table though. Oh Jesus. It may not need to. Oh no. Let's handle that crit damage first. Roll that beautiful bean footage. 13 damage to Donovan and then one more. Just regular damage though. 12 damage to Donovan. That's going to knock Donovan out. I tried. Ubo, your thoughts? Um, how does, how does healing from below zero work again? Starts at zero. Yep. Just starts up from zero. Okay. So, Ubo will shout at Donovan. Ubo's healing words to Donovan are, "Find your bloodlust.

This is a battle to the death." And he uses a bonus action to healing word Donovan, which isn't much, but will make him not dying, which is the important part. Um, and my character sheet got buried behind the map. Find that. There we go. Hello? Hi. Oh, okay. The windows slightly exceed their actual like drawn amount is, that's why it wasn't spawning. Okay. I have him targeted and healing word yes is a bonus action. Okay. So, you gain a couple HP. Five. Five. That's a lot. Five's not dead. That's good. It's, it's like, it's like the crappiest healing spell, but it's a bonus action.

So I still get to stab things. So that's, that's why I like it. You're gonna have to repeat what you said. I was unconscious. And then Ubo, let's see, I can five foot step without provoking, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Ubo's gonna go there-ish. And he also, Ubo also says, you are all in trouble. Masoka always retreats like a coward before he kills everyone. And then I have advantage on junior shield hand three here. Yes. Yep. No. Yes, you do. Sorry. I'm an idiot. Because Donovan is- Well, he's, he's, he's down, so probably not. I guess I'm prone. Yeah. Yeah. I like advantage.

Do I want to... Okay, what if instead my five foot step were to there, and then I attacked veteran shield hand two? Oh yeah, that'll do it. Okay. Advantage is important. Kids at home, advantage is important. Always attack with advantage. Public service announcement. Okay, so I think that's how far I am on my spells so far. Yes, I Thunder Waived, a healing worded, I Flame Bladed. That's it. Okay, cool. I've been tracking that way. All right, so attack roll, Flame Blade. Here we go. Veteran shield hand two. That is, I didn't do my advantage. So let me throw the second die.

Okay. That one's way better. Yeah, that's a 25 instead of an eight. Yeah, let's go with that. That's significantly better. 3d6 fire damage. Oof, a goof. Eight damage to the veteran shield hand. Not as good as I hoped. That concludes Zuma's turn. Okay, well, let's see. Junior shield hand three is going to stab at Donovan. He's gonna have advantage because I'm prone. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess there's three of them too. Never mind that. Wow, he rolled 10 twice. That's a 13. That will miss. Okay, okay. Priest. Priest is in bad shape. This will be... Crits his healing roll and heals me.

I'm having second thoughts about this combat. Let's break up my sweet water bong and talk this over. I think he is going to touch himself. And that came out wrong. You be kind to heart. Yeah, the good kind of touching himself. One last time before I die. And he's going to heal himself. Been going through a dry spell lately. He's gonna gain five health. Wow. And he's gonna duck behind this cart. Hopefully that will stop the arrows. Hey, Maddie. How you feeling about the situation? Uh, bloodlust is gone, but it's not gonna stop. Um, so Maddie is going to reach down to Donovan and do cure wounds at second level.

Which adds a d8 and she's going to say to him, "I'm so sorry I caused this, but now they're out for blood. We have to finish this." And because it's second level, it's a d8 higher than it normally is. So, ooh, plus eight. And now I'm going to roll it. Max, that's a spicy meatball of plenty. Um, my plan was to do two things. Next spell, second level, which is healing word, which will also be second level. And plus d4 because it's above its regular. Oh, you're burning both actions on heals. Okay. Yeah, because she feels bad. Um, and I'm guessing the healing word is the same as last time.

Sorry, let's do this. All right, so nine more to Donovan. So like, uh, intense glowing as she says this to him, like, comes over him and his wounds start to close up as she says, but they're out for blood. We have to finish this and his wounds start to close up. You have some sexy scars. Donovan, your thoughts? Donovan, who would you like to touch? He's gonna run after Anvin. Come here. Um, as he gets up, kind of like he just braces on his, like kind of slams his shield down to brace himself on it and just like quickly gets up on his feet, taking a quick but deep breath in and using a bonus action to use second wind and heal the last few dots.

That's going to be a d10 plus four. Two, three, four, d10. Well, that's five. That's, yeah, that's five. Are you doing this? Oh, you didn't target yourself, so yes. Yeah, because I don't have an ability for that. Oh, that's right. Okay. Thank you. Okay. And he's going to turn around to the captain on target. The other one target, the other one, and just go straight for her and attack. Okay. He, he, I guess bloodlust transferred from Maddie into Donovan. And he's still like, he got all this dried blood on him. Well, not dried fresh, but not leaking. Yeah, he's currently not.

Yeah. And I have a like Wolverine regenerating. Like it was again, playing a lot of God of war. Okay. The word Zubo could have said would be like, don't leave me alone. Oh, that is going to miss. Never happens. All right. Action surge. Gonna go again. Okay. Still targeted. Do it still advantage. Oops. I lost my diet. One of my diet disintegrated disintegrated. Okay. Wait, what? You just rolled the die and not the attack. Huh? It says advantage. Let's just go with that. It'll hit. Hey, listeners, I hope you're enjoying this bonus bit. Okay. Let me do it for the show. Now that'll hit.

Oh, cool. Then I'm going to use as another reaction or anything. I can just when I hit, I can do my goading attack again. And then I'm just going to like, what can I do? I mean, she was hitting you before. Like, yeah, I just want to find a goading thing to do. Oh, good. It's just going to say you're dead. Smile on his face. It's direct. And two damage plus that the eight right here. So that's going to be plus seven. Okay. And she's going to have to roll a wisdom save for the same thing. So that's 15 damage. Oh, goof. Gah. How many of those do you got? You got one left?

Yes. Okay. Just checking here. Wisdom save. Oh, 18. That's a save. Oh, she's catching on now. Veteran. Wow. Veteran Shield Hand 2. I don't even know where to start. You know what? Veteran Shield Hand 2 is going to try and stab at Donovan again, I guess. Like that just... Yeah. Because that's... Imagine being... Okay. Imagine being in a fight for your life, right? And you stab someone real good. Like real good. They're just... They're a pint low of blood. Like you really got them and your friend gets them. And then they fall down dead. And then they stand back up like nothing happened.

That's got to be fucking terrifying. So let's take two swings with the longsword. One. Ah, that's gonna hit. Two. That will hit. Okay, no crits though. No crits. One. That'll do 10 damage to Donovan. And the second one will do 11 damage to Donovan. We really need to stop being surrounded. Badly. We need to focus on one. Masoka! How you feeling? What would be going through Masoka's head watching Donovan go down like that? Well, that would enrage him, I'm sure. Okay. But he's okay. Oh, I got 10. Action to use a potion, right? Or no? I believe so, yes. Yeah, I believe so, yeah.

Um... What do you do with that though? Would that be something Masoka would be thinking about in this moment? No. Okay. He wants to kill somebody at this point. Okay, he's going to go up here. Two, three. And he is going to... Not Shield Hand Jr. He's going to try to plant one of his daggers in the guy's left shoulder, top of it, to give him leverage to bring his other dagger down on the top of his head. Jesus, man. Every time he has had a dialogue of what he's going to do, he crits. Well, now he just ruined it. Yeah. So there's no advantage with this. So if you do crit, I mean, you have used voodoo.

I'm calling it. There will be an audit of my equipment. Okay, let's just try to hit him. Let's do it. Just a normal attack. Oh wow. That is a severe miss. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's okay, he didn't roll Acrobatics. That's why it counts. Yeah, they're not all going to work. No, that's fine. I mean, you know, that's an eight. Yeah, that's going to miss a lot. So maybe this guy just sways or moves at the last second and you just miss that shoulder kind of go wide a bit. Okay, well, I'll just use my offhand then to just take a swing at his neck. That'll, yeah, that'll work.

Watch this one crit. Nope, that will hit. So give me a D4. Gorgeous. Two damage. I'll take it. All right, two damage. There we go. Anything else? Nope. Hey, Aster. Okay, so here's what's going to happen. So as part of Rose-Cunning Action, I can use a bonus action to dash. So Aster is going to sprint across the battlefield. Up here. And they're going to aim their bow at the priest and just say, like, your guards aren't in good shape and neither are you. Call them off or I'll keep going. That's, we'll have to wait till the priest's turn to see what he does. Intimidation?

You know what? If you want, give me an intimidation. Let's see how persuasive this is. Boy, it's just the flat roll. Let's see. Okay, 12. Okay. Okay. I will factor that into the decision. Hey, Anven. Hey. That would be scary as shit, though. You think that's like, okay, they're across the battlefield. Oh, God, they're here. Like that. Oh, no, you're elven. So fast. Surprise, elf. Your card is so good. Anven, though. Not looking too hot, but taking steps, like, takes a step back a little bit, kind of, and then sees the, I guess I shouldn't be so close and casts Misty Step all the way over here.

Okay. I remember the sniper range. I have my mats moved in, so you just went completely off. You know what? I'm out of here, guys. Oh, it's good. And Misty Step is a bonus action. So now, and then I focus, pull up my twig that everyone loves, and then lightning starts surrounding me, and I will try to attack veteran Shield Hand 2 to try to break up this, like, horde of people around all my friends. This daisy chain of pain? Yes. And... Oh, good Lord. That's almost a crit, sir. Yeah. And the best part is, since it's concentration, I don't have to do an attack.

I can just damage next time. Oh, okay. Sweet. And this will do 1d12 damage. Seven damage? Lightning Bolt comes down and crashes and hits them, amazingly leaving everyone else unharmed. Thanks, Anven. That guy just thinks he's really unlucky. All right. Is that all? That was gonna be more funny and walk further back, but I'm good. Okay. Let's see. Junior Shield Hand 2 is going to take a step back away from Masoka and target Donovan. That's a smart move. Just to try and get this over with, because I think they're thinking the same thing as you. It's like, all right, they can't just keep resurrecting him, right?

They got it. Sure hope so. So here we go. He's just going to take one swing and be really shitty and miss completely. It's not really that he missed. It's more that Donovan brought his shield forward and created an opening by slamming it into his attack. And I'm going to use my reaction. Oh, this is your last one, right? Yep. Okay. To attack him. I'm just picturing him being like 300 and he just keeps going. Like that one scene at Berserk. You know the one. Is that one of the anime's? Yeah, one of the anime's. Okay. Whoa. Oh. Uh, what was the second thing? It didn't say.

Do I roll on the table or did I? It didn't show. Give me a flat T20. I'm going to check the table now. That is a crit miss, everybody. An eight on our lovely, uh, wow. Eight, eight, eight. Counter attack. The target hits you with a basic attack. If this action is impossible, your original, so he gets to hit you. All right. Let's go back to he just gets to hit you. Oh, well, that's five damage. Okay. Uh, let's see. Veteran should have one. Okay. Yeah, she's gonna keep swinging Donovan. Like, I think that's just the, I think that is just the, uh, the thought process here.

So here we go. Advantage one. Wow. Crazy super miss. I attack her. Just kidding. And two, that'll hit. Uh, six damage to Donovan. Ubo, what you thinking? Uh, we had a lot of baddies close to death here. Just self-destruct. Did he do that? Not yet. Ubo's gonna flame blade veteran shield him too. So that is targeted. I have advantage. So I'm going to click advantage this time. Then I'm going to throw it. Oh, that'll hit. That'll hit. Then I will throw the damage. Hey, it's 12. That's a good one. That's 12 damage. That's a lot of damage. Oh, not dead though. Boo. So close. Um, I don't have any bonus actions that are damage oriented.

That's sad. Donovan, you don't look so great. Nope. Nope. I'm bleeding again. Do you, do you promise to leave if I heal you enough to move? I promise as far as I can without provoking. Oh, I can disengage. You can disengage. Okay, good. True that. Um, where can you disengage to that won't leave you also provoking on the move? Uh, once you disengage, your moves are free of provoking. Yeah. Oh, it is. Okay, cool. All right. On your honor, you're going to get out of here? Swear. I swear. This sounds like table talk to me. I'm just... Maybe that's what he says. Yeah. Yeah, just Ubo voice.

That's fine. I just want to feel like I'm not flushing these heels down the toilet. That's all. Oh, you're checking to see if he's a good investment for the future. Oh my God. I wasted... Never mind. But this is your fault. I know I'm going to spend all my spells on him. All right. So keeping you alive by taking all that. But we can't attack if we're all healing. Ubo's healing words are you will bleed less over there. Move. And you gain six hit points. That's pretty tasty. Wow. Okay. Okay. Junior Shield Hen number three. This is ridiculous. This is just ridonkulous.

He's going to target Donovan. We will cut this tree down is his mentality. We're going to do it. It's going to be great. 20. Not a crit, but 20 nonetheless. Five damage to Donovan. Thanks Ubo. Okay. It is the priest's turn. This. Okay. Gun to his head. He is... Here's what we're going to do. Eight or higher. I'm going to roll a flat D28 or higher. He is going to want to stop this fussing and a feuding. So get ready. Oh, Jesus. He's stupid. Okay. It's been to happen, I guess. He is... That's a five, man. There's nowhere this guy can run that Astor can't chase him down. So that's the thing.

So just rage at this point. Yeah. Maybe he's dumb. I don't know. I think he's panicked. Maybe it's just not the words aren't connecting in his head or something. Right. Maybe it's just like... Oh boy. Howdy. I'm going to say... He's... Oh man. What do you target? Astor is the thing. Like that. Like... He's going to close the gap between him. I think for whatever reason, this guy's like, I could take her. So he's going to close the gap and try to strike Astor with his mace. Maybe. Okay. Priest has a mace? Yeah. Yep. Jesus. You know what? He's going to use divine eminence too.

So he's going to expend a spell slot and cause his melee weapon to magically deal an extra 3d6 radiant damage to the target on a hit. He's going to hit first. That's the problem. Well, he's swinging at a +2. So do you feel lucky? We'll find out. Priest is going to stop targeting himself because he just touched himself earlier. Just bashed himself in the head with the thing. Handstand his pants. Yeah. He's going to pull off his pants. He's going to charge at Astor. Here we go. He's good at this. He is going to clumsily swing at Astor, which they will obviously nimbly dodge.

And that's a four. So yeah, maybe poops himself a little. I don't know. In fear. He just gives him a look and he's like, really? Why dude? Maddie! You're up! Okay. This fight is dumb. Yeah. Maddie's going to use her bonus action and say to Donovan, "by the light, get out of there!" And that's her healing word. I only had two turns guys. And then move action over here and then attack this veteran shield hand too with her mace with advantage. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Here we go. Here we go. Keying it up. Oh my God. You dropped a one to take a six. That'll give you a 12 and that will miss.

Yeah, you didn't miss. I got healings in so I got something done. I used all my actions though, so I'm done. Boy, howdy. Okay. Donovan, how you feeling? I'm afraid for Ubo's safety, but he's going to nod. And promise is a promise. He's going to nod. He's sort of going to break away from this whole crowd of four people around him by holding his shield kind of like ducked down. He's ducking down while running with his shield above his head, taking the disengage action. He's going to move one, two, three, diagonal, four, five, six here. Next to the priest. Next to the priest and the card.

I like how the dude who's gone through like two full measures of hit points is afraid for my safety. Well, now there's four dudes around you. In a real life situation, Donovan would have no blood left in him. Magic blood. Magic blood. I mean, I don't know if we've ever made a cannon, but regenerating someone's hit points must give them blood back, because that's the only way that he'd still be conscious. It's a monitorcheese. I lost six seconds worth of blood or so. It's not that bad. There were some big holes in you. I don't know. Okay, so you disengaged and you are coming up behind this priest.

Yes. Veteran shield hand two. I don't even know anymore. Uh, what are we even doing? Uh, veteran, you know what? Gonna target Maddie. Maddie's going to use Warding Flare. Bright Light is going to surround her as the attack and give him disadvantage. Okay, so it's just a regular attack. Oh, they automatically advantage? No, would have had advantage because you're standing next to the junior shield hand two. What are they doing? They're just hanging on for dear life at this point. So here we go. Two longsword attacks. Oh, almost a crit. 24. That'll hit. And that'll miss.

But this one will hit. 12 damage. What just happened? Oh, that broke your concentration. Oh, Masoka, get out of there. That table is well made. It makes me feel very weak. Hey, Masoka, speaking to you. You stopped shining. I pass out. What is the cover on the carriage made of? Um, I'd say it's like a burlap, like a tarp type of thing. Okay. Oh, no. I'm not going to light it on fire. Okay. I had a flashback to six years ago. Sorry. Masoka's gonna... Yeah, he'll approach the back of the... This poor priest. Carriage here and take a look underneath. Okay, you want to know my plan?

Yeah. There's potential allies under this thing that can help us fight. It seemed like they were pretty either knocked out or dead. I will slap them. I will slap them back to life. It actually makes sense for Masoka, though, so go for it. Yeah, absolutely. So Masoka is going to see two dragonborn, one male, one female. Tied up, there is a metal ring around their snoot, around their mouth, so that they can't even open their mouths. And they are chained up. They are unconscious and chained up. Unconscious. Yeah, at the very least unconscious. Okay, I think even Masoka would recognize that that's not gonna work.

I feel like even if he did somehow free them and wake them up, they just be like immediate aggression towards the thing right in front of them. This seems like an after fight thing. So in that, realizing that that plan was just shot right down the drain, he is going to target Junior Shieldhand to the bee there, top bee, and use his fine bow. If I can find it here, there it is. Does he get advantage? Yes. I do. Yeah. Because I'm on the other side. Yep. Oh, I thought I had to be adjacent. No, he's still in a fight. He's in a previous fight with Maddie. That'll hit.

Beautiful. And some damage. I also get a sneak attack because there's someone in range. 2d6. Oh, shit. 2d6. Yeah. Yes. 10 damage already. Oh, wait, sorry, that was the wrong. That was 2d6. No, that was right. Okay. That will kill him. Arrow to the back. Boom. Rip the base of the neck. Kill him. He's going to kiss his bow and put it back on his back. Never fails. Well, okay. He'll make sure Maddie doesn't see him kissing you. Maddie's kind of fighting. Chill. She's in his own world. All right. Aster is pretty much Deadpool. Now I want to paint a picture for you. This poor priest trying to protect his cart has been beset on all sides, filled with arrow holes.

Tried to feebly defend himself. Clearly not a fighter. At Aster's mercy, what would Aster like to do? So Aster is just like staring at him like, are you like, you're just the dumbest person ever. Okay. And they're going to take a vote of this action to disengage and step back here. Oh no. They are going to shoot this non-lethally. I'm just going to say that. How are you going to non-lethally fire an arrow at us? I don't know. We did it before. It's not one of the vital areas. Make him faint. I don't know. At this point, kind of almost out of pity. You're clearly not in the right frame of mind or something.

So you're not going to bop him on the head. You are going to fire another arrow at him though, but pitifully. Yeah. Well, because I get a better role if I fire an arrow. Just pin him to the carriage through the shoulder. Okay. Yeah. I was about to say, what body part are you targeting? Yeah. Like shoulder sounds good. It seems like enough pain to knock someone out, but not like... Okay. Yeah. Here's what we're going to do. As long as you don't roll a crit, this is non-lethal. Okay. And I have advantage because I still have advantage. You do. Oh boy. Just saying. Oh, neither one of those are a crit.

So you will do damage. The first sneak attack guy because there's someone right there. Oh, come on. It's a deal you made, Massey. Okay. This poor hapless priest is going to go down. You've bested him. Anven. I think it's time we finish this veteran. And there's like a cloud. Like for some reason, this area is just shrouded with the cloud where the lightning storm is for some reason, but if you go like 30 feet out, it wouldn't be there anymore. Okay. Since this is a concentration, it can happen again. And so I reach out my arm and make sure I'm targeting. Yep.

And we do this again. 1d12 lightning. Five damage will kill the veteran. Beaudiful. Done. Down. Gone. Anything else? I'll actually move closer for once. Be careful. There we go. Don't trip. You might die. Good Lord. All right. That'll end my turn. Veteran shield hand one is going to target Ubo and just keep swinging. What she probably sees as valiantly trying to stave off this attack. Uh, two swings with advantage. Here we go. 17 will hit and one more with advantage. 21. They both hit. Okay. Uh, six damage and six damage. So pretty good. Yeah, not too bad. Not too darn bad.

This will bring up Ubo. So Ubo's a little worse for the wear here. Yeah. Uh, Ubo's gonna target veteran shield hand cause he can take it. Um, and I do not have advantage. I don't like that at all. That's twice now. Yeah. Uh, hmm. Hold on. I'll turn it. I'll turn it to plan and process here. Redirecting. Now's the time to self-destruct. Okay. Uh, I am just gonna flame blade attack, um, veteran shield hand one. It's simple. I like it. And hold my ground. 18. Battle hits. Yep. Cool. We'll be- Oh, big damage. 17 damage. Well, okay. She is going to be shaky. She is going to be really, really shaky after that.

That almost knocks her down. Things should die when I hit them. I don't like them. It's inconsiderate is what it is. Uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna five foot step and then I'm gonna be right there close to Maddie. So I don't get advantage on my turn. Thanks. Okay, I'll stay. No, no, no, no. We can't talk to each other. You can't medicate this. And then I'm done. Junior shield hand is going to whip out his crossbow and target Ubo. And fire without advantage. 15 just shy. Gonna miss. A priest is unconscious. Very, very unconscious. That brings up Maddie. Okay, so Maddie just had a sudden realization that Susan had early on in the fight.

So all her friends are very hurt, or most of them are. Except Astor. Hey! Um, they're dead bodies. They're bullying a priest. Yeah. Their bodies and it's just gone to chaos. And then she's starting to like, all of a sudden has a sudden realization. Maybe this was a prisoner transport. Call them trophies. They wouldn't have hid it from us then. Like, like, like if this was like a prisoner transport or something, they could have not been super shady about it. Very shady. I know, but that's what Maddie's thinking because it's like a priest is leading it and then there's like trained people.

So that's just what Maddie's thinking. She doesn't have, she's not very rational right now guys. I'm not sure if you noticed. If that's true, we will be wanted criminals. You already are. Um, so Maddie's going to, uh, run over there, not provoke any attacks and say to, um, say to veteran Shield Head 1 with her mace drawn, um, most of your men are dead. Stand down. Do you, uh, you want to intimidate? Okay. Oh, that is a juicy intimidate. So, okay, when it gets to her turn, as long as she doesn't roll terribly to make a poor decision, you might have some prisoners before.

But the dice have not been cooperated so far. We got like, also the next four characters have to make that. That's true. Donovan, you're standing behind, in front of, well, behind an unconscious priest. Yeah. I actually caught him while he was falling. Oh, good. And I'm going to fireman carry him and walk here. Okay. And say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no one's paying you now. Drop your weapons. Okay. Masoka, how would you be feeling? I think seeing as both Maddie and Donovan have decided to try to stop the fight.

He will pass on his turn. Aster? I feel like Aster's gonna like, hop out of here and I can do like a ready an action in case of something, right? So they're gonna like, point their bow at the veteran and basically, she does somehow roll super badly on the decision thing. They're gonna fire. Like, all right. Anvin. Focus it on Mr. Shield Hand 3. But, uh, uh, there's still gonna be like the lightning in this guy. Actually, it's a good question. So the, it's a concentration for one minute, but it says if I do any other action, it's like all about one target. Do I have to redo an attack if it's a different person?

Yeah, I believe so. That's what I thought. Okay, cool. So then basically it's still in the sky, but I'm basically ready and I'm just holding my action for what decision is made. All right, here's the deal. I'm gonna roll a flat d20. These people are trained, like I said, to guard this cart with their life. That sounds like a slave kind of talk right there. I'm just saying. It's just, it's what, they're professionals. That's what they're, that's what they're, you know, however, sometimes situations go very poorly. And at a certain point you have to realize, okay, I could either live to fight another day or I could die protecting this cart.

Now, if I roll a one, two or three, she is going to go down swinging. Are you ready? Oh my God! That's a four, ladies and gentlemen. She was on the brink. She was right there. I'd say she's grasping the sword and just fine and throws it down and puts her hands in the air and her only living conscious ally is going to do the same. So that was tense. What would be your first act here? You have prisoners now. I tear down the, take off the tarp. Okay. Maddie would take veteran's shield hand by the collar. Yeah, Asper's gonna start like tying people up if we're good with that.

Well, Maddie's gonna take her by the collar and kind of scream in her face. Are you slavers? And she's okay, first of all, she's basically a death's door. Like she is like covered in cuts and bruises and just pleading profusely. And I would say she probably tilts her head just a bit to spit out some blood. And she is going to say to Maddie, we're just here to guard the wagon. That's it. Evan strolls on up. And Evan also knowing the history, I believe, for what we talked about. Do you know where those dragonborn are from? Are they, is it against their will or is it anything else?

And she's gonna blink slow, kind of roll her eyes a bit. They were bought and paid for. We're just supposed to escort them there. I don't know anything more. I don't want to make a- That was the wrong thing to say. Oh, I say, Evan looks at Maddie, but it's not worth it. Maddie's holding her by the collar. Maddie's initial reaction would be to punch her. Okay, let's do it. You might see her winding up or- So this is probably a move, well, while you got her by the collar, you're probably you probably got a fist prepped, right? Like this is probably like an intimidation move.

Like, who do you work for? That type of thing. Yeah. Would she have said something that would cause Maddie to swing? Yes, as soon as she said it, as soon as they were bought and paid for. Does Maddie have a history of, say, bar and brawling or something? No. Okay, so we're going to do one damage to this woman. So just a nice- Just right in the mush. Just, you know, so probably a bit more blood, just kind of that type of thing. And she is going to narrow her eyes at Maddie. Like if you didn't have her completely surrounded, this might be going differently. Like she might not be so willing to stand there and get hit in the face.

Donovan is going to close in the gap with his fist clenched, but not like interrupt anything. I don't want to interrupt you, Susan. So he's just gonna walk towards you and kind of stand right here in between the two of you. That's where he's headed. Wait, wait, wait. To punch this woman or Maddie? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just a description. Like he's- Oh, fist clenched. Okay, I thought you had it up. And it's like, I want a piece too. Like that type of thing. No. Yeah, no, you're going to say something. Go. No, go ahead. Okay, so instead of saying like, "As he's worn out, Asher's also going to run up," but kind of like put their hands sort of like softly on Maddie's arm.

Just kind of like, "Hey, it's over now. We can- It's okay to let go right now. She's not going to go anywhere. Take a breath." And Maddie's going to realize like she's- All her friends are like surrounding her. And she's like just punched a woman that surrendered. So she has one hand on her collar still. And then she's going to push her into like Donovan. Like, you know, like you hold her kind of action and just walk away. Like she realizes that she's way too heated and just starts like just walks in a direction to like cool off. As you walk away and he grabs the captain, he says to Maddie, "This isn't over, sister." Asher's going to wince like.

Was that directed towards Maddie or? Yeah, but like as a parting thing, not to keep you here. And then she's going to like nod and look down, but still furious, understood. Oh, I was just going to say she kind of falls back into her military training, like understood and starts marching away. As soon as the shield hand said that they were bought, Masoka would have started working on the lock on the carriage. Gotcha. Okay. And not for the purpose of releasing them, but to get in and get those things off their mouths. That's it. Okay. So he's not going to chain them yet.

Okay. So you're just stepping inside. So, okay. Evan will look at the lady. This is the lady, right? Yes. Were you really going to Ebony Harbor and are there any documents about where this purchase was going? Again, deep breath, because this is just this is against everything that they would normally be doing. But by this point, she'd probably have caught her breath a bit. Yeah, that's our final destination is Ebony Harbor. I don't think there's any documents. It's just handshake agreement. Astra's going to start searching the priest just to see if there's anything on him.

Super sure. Astra's going to find 25 gold and some holy symbol of Melora, but not a ton beyond that. Hmm. Well, I mean, they'll split up the gold around the party. Probably not at the moment, but later. They will take the holy symbol away from him just because when he does wake up, they don't want him to have sudden priest powers available. Sudden priest power. Surprise priest. Yeah. They're going to go ahead and take that for the moment. Okay. So Emma's going to try. So she looks like a mercenary, right? Yeah, definitely hired gun. You know, and then I have to roll diplomacy for this.

You know, your skills are being wasted here. You could easily be defending, protecting other people, say, for Winterhaven or other places, and you probably more valuable than they point towards that priest guy than that thing. Give me a yeah. Give me a give me a little role there. See how persuasive this is. Do do do. I guess it's precision in this, right? Yeah. There's no diplomacy on this. Oof. I forgot about that. So that's a 9 with your -1. I believe her first, like, she would almost look shocked and look at Ambin. So you're not going to kill us. I come from a place of second chances.

And to kill you would be a waste when you could be useful and helpful in so many ways. She's going to look over at the priest and then she's going to look around at all of her people down, say, for one junior shield hand. Oh, that poor guy. Yeah, that like. You know what? I'm going to do a thing. Hold on a second. Oh, no. Roll for son. He's been on the job for eight days. So officially he's been with this party for eight days. Let's call him Terrence. Terrence is shitting himself at this point. It's like, oh man, I this is not going well. And she is going to say to Ambin.

Let me take Terrence and leave. Do whatever you want with the cargo. I look up at Donovan since Maddie left, I think. Yeah. She's just a short distance away, but looking at Donovan, say I have no problem with this. Do you? It's going to breathe in. He's still holding her, I guess, by one shoulder. It's kind of going to squeeze it just a little bit and say, look, you are doing your job. Your morals suck, but you're very professional. Next time, inquire maybe a little bit. But at the end of the day, you were trying to make a living and you're not a slaver. So I, we're not going to keep you.

Just go. Just do better. Astor is going to speak up and just say, like, they're like looking between like, Ambin and Donovan. If we just let them go, like, Maddie's going to be upset, first of all. And also, I mean, like they knew there were slaves in there. And I mean, can't we just take them to Aubrey and like the judge or something can decide if they go to prison or not? Like, this just doesn't seem like our job to decide what next. They're hired blades. That's that's what everyone does here in Theria. Again, their morals suck, but they didn't engage in the slavery.

We don't know what the hell is going on. We don't know what these two are. We don't know what that burned ass, awful, awful priest is. Those are the questions we should have asked before. And now we just got to deal with this. And again, it's not up to us, like you say, Astor, it's not up to us to decide what's happening. So, yeah, that's leaving on their way. I'm saying that we don't know what's going on, so maybe we shouldn't be making this decision. The decision we all wanted to do was to keep walking, which could have avoided everyone a lot of problems.

We've already made a lot of decisions of taking and I put a wave my hand looking at all the bodies, their lives. We can let the priest stand trial. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I was talking about these two. Yeah, the priest comes with us. No, no, but like, and they're going to kind of like run their hand like back through the hair and just like look around like it's I don't I mean, for all we know, they're like lying to us and they're actually like part of the like wider slave trade and stuff. I mean, just because you're trying to make a living doesn't mean you get involved in this kind of bad shit, man.

It's like we're not going to kill them. We're just going to take them back to Aubrey. And I don't think they're going to kill them there either. I mean, they might have to do like a year of helping out the community or something like I don't know. I just don't think that we should be the ones to decide their verdict. Yeah. Listen, Nester, I'm just going to say it. Frankly, I don't care. Right now, we are supposed to go to an empty city. And everything in between, we're not town guards, we're not anything. We're just supposed to get there. And we'll ask that priest questions, but we can't solve every problem.

Yeah, we're not there. We're not going to solve anything. We're just going to transport them to Aubrey and drop them off and be on our way. It's literally no difference in travel distance or whatever to us. Well, I'm going to let them go. So if you want to fight for it, just fight again. I don't care at this point. From he's going to release them from from well, Masocha's picking out this lock, whatever. He's just going to say, you let him go. They're going to rat on us. We take him to Aubrey, then we look suspicious, too. I would say she would speak up at this point because she's watching.

She's watching you have this conversation. And at a certain point, it's like, okay, we've already lost a ton today. We're not going to say anything to anyone. We were hired for a job. We failed. This already tarnishes our reputation and we've lost most of our people. Like I said, I come from a place of second chances and who knows, maybe in the fates, there'll be one day where we'll need your help. I'd rather have that option that there might be some good in these people than always assuming the worst. I would say as you guys are having this conversation, she's probably got her arm outstretched, kind of holding it back, making sure this junior guy is just behind her.

Because she's still not exactly sure. It's like, are we going to get blasted, basically? Because it seems up in the air. Or at least are we going to be apprehended and taken away? That type of thing. WILKINSON winter haven is a good place. MARY-LUCIA AUSTIN Aster is just going to let out a sigh and just turn towards the woman and say, do you want to do anything with your dad or we can just leave you and let you take care of it if you want. MATT ROWE Again, looking a bit surprised, you'd let us bury them. WILKINSON Of course. AUSTIN I mean, we didn't want to kill any of you.

Well, okay, from her point of view, you were the first to fire shots. They were attacked. That's how they're seeing it. MARY-LUCIA I know, right? (laughter) CHUCK (JEREMY) It's almost like we're like halfway to the villains here. MARY-LUCIA They're like, listen, they are slavers. Killing slavers is not exactly a super passive thing. CHUCK (JEREMY) See, they're not slavers. MATT ROWE They're not slavers. They're morally... CHUCK (JEREMY) They're temps. MATT ROWE I have a question. CHUCK (JEREMY) Yeah. MATT ROWE Do they have anything on their armor or anything that would indicate who they work for?

Where they're from? CHUCK (JEREMY) This looks like it's an independent party. Basically, who they are is right here. There's no bigger base. MATT ROWE They're not like Hammerhand or something like that. CHUCK (JEREMY) Oh, no, no, no, they don't belong to a larger organization that way. MATT ROWE They don't even have a brand. They're small business owners, you guys. (laughter) MATT ROWE They're a local startup. CHUCK (JEREMY) And you see this kind of thing a lot, just like there are adventuring parties. There are bandit groups. There are people who want to protect local merchants or whoever going through dangerous areas.

There are people who would protect them and they make their reputation by not dropping them or murdering them. That's, you know, and sometimes that just does not work out. MATT ROWE Like now. JENNIFER RUSSELL Sometimes they choose to protect slavers. MATT ROWE Yeah, that's it's more. Here's the thing. They probably know something's fishy or they know something's up. They might not have known about, you know, the full or at least most of the group probably didn't know what the full story was of what is in the cart. But it's like, look, we just got paid to do this thing.

Let's do the thing. That's it. They're just trying to make a living. What they're choosing to do is absolutely morally gray, let's say. CHUCK (JEREMY) Ubo wants to see what the situation is with the prisoners at this point. Masoka was picking lock. MATT ROWE Oh, yeah, by this time, because there's no pressure on Masoka. Eventually this thing will pop right open and he'll be inside. JEREMY Well, he is a master lock. (laughter) CHUCK (JEREMY) A master of unlocking? MATT ROWE The master. KATE Are they... CHUCK (JEREMY) They're still unconscious. Not dead, though.

Are they like unconscious from hit point damage or are they unconscious just from unconscious? CHUCK (JEREMY) If they... Give me a medicine check. I don't think... CHUCK (JEREMY) Masoka or Ubo? MATT ROWE I'm not doing it. I have a minus one. JEREMY Okay, well then. CHUCK (JEREMY) Well, my wisdom will get me a little further than that. (laughter) JEREMY Well, that's a crit one. CHUCK (JEREMY) Yeah. JEREMY Yeah. They're definitely unconscious, but it doesn't look like from wounds. CHUCK (JEREMY) Hmm. Okay, well, Ubo is satisfied. He'll wait until they're conscious and then, you know, try to give him help.

Then once he can figure out what the problem is, then they can talk. For the time being, though, I guess we kind of have to sit here and watch them? MATT ROWE Or? JEREMY Ubo peeks out to the... Arguing idiots. Ubo peeks out to the party and says, "They need time. Should we stay here, camp?" RYAN (CUPPYCUP) I think we should take the cart moved out a bit and let them tend to their dead. JEREMY I think we should tie them up and throw them in the back with these two. RINA (LUCKY) Yeah, we should. I mean, if we're letting these guys go, we should at least move away a little bit.

But then I think camp, yeah, and probably take the dragonborn out of the place they've been imprisoned in before we wake up. Huh? How would Maddie be feeling? How far away did Maddie go? Like, did she hear all of this? It sounds like they're within earshot, but not like just stepped away from the situation, probably count to ten, that type of thing. JEREMY Yeah, breathing, breathing exercises, maybe punched a tree. I don't know. Probably punched a tree, then started breathing and then just watched. Kind of glaring, actually, from maybe like 15, 20 feet away.

Still trying to get her temper under control. But she wants... She's the one who started this, so she doesn't want to control the situation. So she doesn't want to make another decision on behalf of the whole party. So she's standing there with arms crossed, leaning against the tree. She punched. Give me a strength check. How many splinters did you get? Yeah, not many. No, so this is just that this is just that type of thing. I wanted to see if you knocked bark off of it or something like that, like a real show of strength. Punch a hole through it. Two punches.

Just keep punching. So it sounds like the I mean, it sounds like taking the cart is an option. Yes, those are very good horses. They do not run when there is combat. They'll carry this however many pounds of bear around by ourselves. And I will be comfortable for the dragonborn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure I'm sure they'll want to go back in there. Well, as long as the door is open and they're not restrained. As long as they know, hey. Donovan is going to take from the side of his backpack, I guess, the shovel that he bought in Winter Haven. And he's going to hand it towards the captain.

And as he hands it to her, he's going to say, what are your names? Again, this is all catching her off guard a bit. This is just like, OK, it's very puzzling. But after a few seconds, Josephine and she's going to kind of tilt her head backward. That's Terrence. Josephine, Terrence, I'm Donovan. I trust you with that information. I trust you with my name. Again, Winter Haven is a very nice place. We will go our way with your cart and that's going to be it. You can have my shovel for free. She is going to hold out her hand to Donovan. Yeah, I'm going to take it back.

Thank you. You all could have done a lot worse here. I owe you. And she's almost swallowing those words like, I hate this, but I mean, I owe you like you could have killed us. I know that line of work is dangerous. I respect that. I want you to know we're not bandits. All right. Things got ugly. We have a bad history with that kind of thing. Slavery. So it was just a bad day for everyone. Sorry for the mess. She's going to give a nod and then look, probably look over toward Maddie. And she's going to probably bump Terence's rib with her elbow to kind of signal to him.

It's like, all right, let's get going in case this changes, like for whatever reason. And they're going to start lining up their dead and probably finding a nice secluded patch here to start digging some holes. I was going to say when she looked over at Maddie, Maddie's looking straight at her, like, like it locks eye contact when she stares and just kind of like on the edge of glaring. Like eyes are definitely tense, but not full on glare. It sounds like you guys are taking this, taking this wagon down the road a bit. Yep. Okay, so you're going to, you are going to load up into this wagon and turn it around and start to head toward Aubrey.

And as you do, I think one last time Josephine is going to give Maddie a look and probably, probably one of those bro nods, just like, like you, like, I respect you, but this isn't over. Like this isn't like maybe one day we'll meet up down the road and. Maddie will do the exact same thing back. Like I know where this is going. And guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the evening. We got a cart. We got a cart and some horses and a priest. Was bound to happen. We got a priest. I'm going to add him to my inventory. Let's divide this priest up between the four.

Hey Maddie, how would you like to do a real maces? Go, yeah. Yeah. He's not, he wasn't piecing his for much anyway. So no worries. I'm so sorry guys. No dude, it's, it's perfect. It's what had to happen. Really good. There's some strong feelings there. And it was kind of, there was enough suspicion. Oh yeah. We're going to have some fun party conversations next time. I think. Yeah. We may even make it to Aubrey. I mean, it's not too bad. We could be in the, in the, what's this, the divide? Oh, the divide. Yeah. We could be there. We will be there. Yeah. Oh no, that's right.

You are. I mean, unless something else comes up, who knows? And at this rate it's going to be a while anyways. Dude, I honestly thought you guys would be in Aubrey within the first like 30 minutes or something. Like I thought that this is an interesting tournament. Slaves. Hey, I didn't know you were going to go off half cocked and just start firing into a crowd. We got a bear. We got slaves. That guard's going to be full by the time we get to Aubrey. Just going to like unclothe. And it was good. Now we know that Maddie hulks out at the slightest sign of slavery.

She wasn't asleep. I think that's pretty reasonable. Here's the thing. It's completely reasonable. If you have the context from Maddie's point of view. Oh yeah. Yeah, for sure. Anyone else? Does anybody have it? I think Misoka is the only one that knows. And Anvin. So literally half the party knows what's up and half the party is like, "What the hell was that?" I mean, I feel like if she goes off the strongly at slavery with like a couple of times, it's like there's like some sort of personal thing going on here. Right. And start connecting the bots. But here's the thing.

I don't know if you guys have enough, I guess beyond like an intelligence check or something like our wisdom check. Would that be... It's just happened twice where Maddie has beaten someone to death, basically, and then fired into a crowd just like, you know, almost unprovoked. Would that be enough sample data for you to piece two and two together or just think Maddie's crazy? I'm sorry, dude. Yeah. Yeah, Astor absolutely thinks like they're like, she has some sort of history with like slavery or something like that. Like there's like not going to like speculate on exactly what that is because it could be a lot of things and it'd be personal either way.

But like there is like some sort of like weight that she's carrying around. Sure. From the data gathered, no bears in her backstory, though. Yeah. Very, very fine. Very passive aggressive with the bears. Unless the bears are slavery. Oh, God. That was a rare combat heavy session, but you guys did very well. It was a little hairy here and there. We got a taste of the multiple advantage from all sides. That was interesting. I like how much more consequential that made combat, though. I think it was for the best. Really? Okay. Like it made positioning way more important.

And all that. And it just kept the hit point totals moving, right? Yeah. Yep. Yeah, it was really cool. And that was, I think, the hairiest combat that we've had. Yeah, it was this group for sure. Pretty good. Take them down. Definitely. Really, really good, you guys. I am going to go ahead and let you go because it is after midnight on the East Coast. So, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I got another session tomorrow. So I had a session yesterday and today and tomorrow. Yikes. Hey, after you do three in a day, like what? Like what? Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate you guys sitting down.

And this is going to be an awesome episode for people to listen to. Yeah. Kelsey? What happened? I think I have an idea what's going on. I had that safe. Yep. That's what I thought. Why are you doing this? Like, do you follow them on Twitter or Facebook? What do you do? You just do this to instigate? Are you trying to make Susan as trigger happy as Maddie is? Every time she sees poop, she goes wild. Yeah. Oh, my God. See what you do. You drive Susan to the brink of madness, then let it cool down for a year so that if you see her at DragonCon, she won't strike you.

Who knows? Maybe I'll make a surprise trip. Oh, no. By the way, we were talking about video game things earlier and how it's like, oh, you know, you just play when you have time, that type of thing. I'd like to show my restraint just for a moment here. Well, my camera's not working, but that doesn't matter. I'm holding a still in its cellophane copy of God of War, which we've had for weeks. We were going to stream it, and it's just sitting on my desk taunting me every single day at work. And I just I want to play and we're going to try to play soon, but it's still in its packaging.

Yeah, I get that content lined up first. I know I got to do my job or whatever. It's a good one. We really hope you guys enjoyed today's show. Thank you so much for listening and continuing to support us. We very, very much appreciate it. If you want to help out the show, of course, there's patreon.com/dandr. We'll be posting two episodes of Strahd this month, barring any future catastrophes. Sadly, Jamie's computer died this last month, so that set us back a little bit in terms of recording the Strahd episodes. But we should be caught up in July. We also posted the worldwide wrestling RPG One Shot.

People really seem to like that. Obviously, you don't need to watch wrestling to enjoy it. It's just a setting for an RPG. It's about four hours long, and anybody who pledges on our Patreon can get it, even for a dollar. That's right, a dollar. We'll also be doing a bunch of different stuff in July. We'll keep you guys posted as we know a bit more. If you are going to Dragon Con, we can't wait to meet you there. Of course, we're going to be playing in a live event. We've never done that before. We're very, very excited. And we'll be doing the fan meetup as we do every year, probably GameX.

We're still planning everything out. If you guys have suggestions for stuff you'd like us to try and do at Dragon Con, please send us an email to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. We love hearing your suggestions, feedback, all that stuff. And speaking of which, I know I'm rambling on a bit, but if you could swing by iTunes and maybe give us a five-star review, that helps us more than you know. We really want to climb the charts and get back up to one. We've received a ton of reviews, and we're still right at the spot where we normally are.

I don't know how iTunes works. Honestly, we're approaching 700 reviews, and we're still behind a bunch of other podcasts, and it's weird, and I don't understand it. But those reviews do help us out, so thank you so very much. And if you'd like to get a hold of us to tell us anything, please do that. We will see you next week with a brand new episode, and thank you once more for listening and your support, because it means the world to us. Thank you, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye.