Self Control

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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We expand upon the world, give you behind the scenes access, and constantly answer questions that you might have. Go check it out and help support the show today. Previously for Group C, their journey north to the city of Brightport had taken an unexpected detour when the party found some local gnolls that seemed to be burning people at the stake. After running in and taking some heavy damage, the group managed to save one of the three people burning at the stake. Unfortunately, Merrick had undergone such stress during the event that he began to wolf out.

After being knocked unconscious once again, the group now is waiting to see what Merrick is going to do. And that's where we're going to pick things up today. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Jasper. Oh, hey, I'm Jasper. I play Merrick Eltharid, Human Cleric. And Debris. Hi, I'm Breanna Marie. I play Clara Urath-Dael, the Half-Drow Fighter. And Jane. Hi, I'm Jane. I play Efene the Gnome-Bod. And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa and I play Elorath B. Singer, the Halfling Barbarian.

And Zach. What's up, my name is Zach and I play Evelyn Bates, the Human Fighter. So you guys are still in this field. Now, the situation is not as dire as it was. [laughter] Um, first things first. Well, I mean, yeah, you are, you're all beaten up. And bruised and battered. One of these people was lucky enough not to be burned at the stake, which is awesome. Although, I picture the air just being... Delicious. [laughter] Just hickory smoked people. That's what it is. But also the smell of burning hair and stuff like that. It's not super pleasant, right? Maric, could you do me a favor and roll a d4 for me?

Oh, right. Right where we left off. Yeah. Okay, here it comes. Alright. Okay, everybody. Three. Three hours is the number of hours that Maric is going to be unconscious. For the first time in this arc, in this edition, we've reached the point where a group has run out of healing spells? And options and stuff? Like, it got really grim for a while there. Obviously, the group... I mean, it's up to you guys who saw what. But some of you had to see what was happening to Maric. And how that was narrowly avoided. I guess my question is, what would everybody be doing after this fight?

I mean, we know what Maric's doing, which is kind of just face down in the muck here in this field. What's everyone else doing? Right off the bat, what does Maric look like? Because I remember he was on the verge of wolfing out before he was knocked out. Yeah, and I always picture the transformation process very much kind of an accelerated version of American Werewolf in London. Something like that. Like the elongating of hands and, you know, the spine changes shape and face elongates and all that stuff. So it's obviously a faster version of that. So it is very clear what was happening to Maric before he was knocked unconscious again.

Right? So at this point, I picture it wasn't quite bad enough where his armor completely fell off or anything like that. It's probably more just covered in blood. And clearly he has been through... it looked like a wrecking ball just hit him. Because he's been stabbed many, many times. But on top of that, it's more punishment than you've probably seen many people take and still be alive. Because those were mortal wounds several times over. And thanks to Efani, it was just it's like, okay, but get back up, get back up, get back up. So I imagine the field is just awash with blood in Maric's general area.

But like his face and spine and all of that has it reverted? That's fine. Yes. Okay. That's back to normal. That's gone back to normal. Yes. And then Clara has no idea what happened because she was knocked out during that portion of the fight. So I imagine she'd just go over and try to help Maric. Like she would just as soon as she's up and all the gnolls are dead, it's like go for the most injured person on the scene. And again, it should be stated that Maric is stabilized, like not dying, but completely unconscious right now. Right. So that might even be a thing where she's just like checking for broken bones and putting him like putting a piece of cloth under his head as a pillow and stuff.

Thank you. Um, Aveline is going to say under his breath, I felt again. And he's going to run towards the two women that are dead, but still on fire and try to pat them out. Oh, God. Desperately. Oh, man. Um, so, okay, let's paint a picture. The first body, the one that was the one that probably called you guys to the area and got your attention, the one that was really smoldering and smoky at this point, probably out for the most part. Lots of smoke, but not not not really on fire. The second one is very much ablaze. The third one, no fire whatsoever. That guy still very much alive gagged, but still probably like that.

Just kind of screaming panicked, but not not not as bad as when the fight was going on. Because, you know, you guys wrote in to try and save the day to try and put this fire out is going to be a herculean effort. Um, what would have land try to do? Like, is it like take a blanket out of his pack and try to like if he's going to I think if he can't, he's going to look for a blanket first, but there's probably not one around. And he's going to try to get dirt from around the area around the person on fire and try to throw dirt on him, try to put them out that way and like he will take his hands, shove them in like dirt and mud and smack, like try to pet the fire with his hands and like his feet.

He's trying anything he can. Right. He's okay with taking damage. Do me a favor, roll a nature check, I guess. That's the first thing that jumps to mind. Let's see how effective this is. Wow. There we are. Well, okay, that's a 19. So I would say it takes several minutes of this, like probably probably back and forth trips like frantic, just just grabbing. And while this is happening, he, Aveline notices the man in distress and he he literally holds his hands up like like his palms out, like give me a second type of deal. Okay. Is this like a panicked type of?

Yes. Oh, okay. Okay. That's sad. Um, obviously it goes without saying this person that the first two people are gone long gone. They stopped making noise a while back. But eventually this fire is going to go out. It's just smoke everywhere. You said he's doing it with his hands, like trying to pad it out. Whatever he can use, like if if the dirt he's clawing and like like basically using his hands to shovel to try to stamp out the fire isn't working. He's going to like try to pad it. But like if that fails as well, he notices that she's just gone done for completely.

Then, I mean, he'll keep trying for a little bit, but he's going to realize it's it's a moot point. Right. I wouldn't say there'd be any damage to Avalon because I think he'd figure it out. Like, it's not like putting his hands in the fire isn't going to. He's just very frantic. Right. Um, yeah, this is going to go out. But it'd be several minutes of this. And then it would just be smoke. And it'd be very clear to Avalon that there is no saving those first two people. It's going to dawn on him and he's going to silently and slowly stand up, very, very like disheveled and down, looking down.

And he's going to walk over to the man and cut him free and just kind of walk away into the distance like a little like he's going to walk away a little bit. Oh, how would Efanny be feeling after after that fight? Efanny would probably have taken a couple of steps back away from the situation and then sunk down onto the ground. She's just absolutely exhausted and she's just going to take a moment to, like, catch her breath. Right. So Merrick obviously doesn't look great. That goes without saying. What would be the next move for the group here? Try and camp out, like get your get your bearings, like take a take a short rest, load everything up on the cart and get away from this area as quickly as possible?

What's the what's the plan? Before we decide on that, can I ask everyone here at the table a question? Who here, character wise, saw completely what Merrick did? I believe it's everyone but Clara. Clara was just knocked out at the time. OK, I just wanted to know that. So like after making sure that Merrick is breathing and comfortable with like a pillow and all that, Clara is going to fall back and she is fucking wounded as shit. Right. So she's just going to be panting and trying to like catch her breath and like wipe blood off of her stuff and just generally take care of that.

Yeah, no one came out of this battle unscathed. Everyone, everyone got it to some degree, some more than others. But yeah, that was probably the most vicious fight you guys have definitely been a part of so far. Has there ever been a fight with a Knoll on DNR where it wasn't totally... Everybody acted surprised that it was so bad, but nobody should be surprised because it's always horrible? They're vicious pricks is what they are. They're real bad. Yeah, we've got to start giving Knolls more respect. I for sure. So, OK, everyone's exhausted. Everyone's hurt.

I got to ask this question. How would people be feeling about, quote unquote, the Merrick situations? Who would be the first to say something if anybody would say something? I think Efrain might look across to Clara and say, what do we do now? And like nod towards Merrick. That's tough because Clara didn't see anything. She's going to be like she's sitting right next to him as soon as she finished making sure that he was OK. She just plopped right down. So she'll just let loose a big sigh and shake her head. Obviously, we need to regroup and untie him. She'll nod to the steak that still has a man on it.

Well, Efrain said he cut he cut him down. So I would imagine the way he made it sound was a little absent minded. So like cut him down. He's not on the steak, but like the guy's probably still like taking his gag off and stuff like that. Like getting his stuff together. Maybe we could go find those two gnomes again and camp with them just so that we can fucking recover. And like she's panting through all of this, like fucking half dead and weary, but knowing that shit needs to get done. She's going to look to Elarath and Efrain. Are you two all right? Sure.

She's, Elarath is not. She's really confused right now because she like is embarrassed for one that she like ran away. But she's also very unsure of like Merrick. It looks like he's transformed back. Correct? Like it halted and reversed. Yes. I mean, she's just feeling really conflicted because like he looks back to normal right now. So now she's even doubting what she saw, I think probably because it lasted all of what, maybe five seconds. Yeah, somewhere in there. So does she look upset? Yeah, because like she tried to run away and then nobody followed and then you guys took care of the problem.

And she was like, well, fuck, did I even see what I saw then? Like what? So again, not knowing that Merrick almost wolfed out, Clara is going to notice that her friend looks really upset and kind of like pat the ground next to her like, come here. She's going to walk, like sit next to you, but like, not next to Merrick if she can. Sorry. Fair. And she'll even go as far as like licking her thumb and like maybe brushing some like blood off your face or something. What's wrong? He, I mean, he looked like a wolf. He was gonna, he started to turn and now he's not.

And I don't know. Did y'all see that too? Or am I crazy? No, you're not crazy. It happened. Clara is going to like freeze for a second, like all of her muscles tense, but then she's just going to let out another breath. All right. He's not turned now. And here's something we never talked about, LRS/Lisa. Does Clara know about Lockfort? I assume she does. I think so. I think if they were like sparring on the road and training a little bit, I think it probably would have come out. Right. So I think so. I know at least. Yeah, she does. And then I think Efini and Avila definitely know because they've been together for two years.

So she's gonna, her eyes are gonna kind of go hard for a second and then she's going to clear her throat. All right. What if you four and she's going to look to Efini, Elarath, Avila, and this new person who I assume are far enough away that they're not really hearing this conversation. They're a little distracted. Yeah. So she's gonna be talking mostly to Efini and Elarath. Why don't you go find the people we met earlier and I'll stay here with Merrick and make sure he wakes up okay. And if everything is okay, when he wakes up, we'll catch up to you. And if it's not, and she's going to look at Elarath and like meet her eyes, I'll catch up to you.

She'll make that sound in real life too. I just, I don't, I don't think that like one person with something like that would be, would work. And I don't want any one of us to be that one person. And, um, Clara is going to shake her head and put her hand on Elarath's shoulder. I won't fight him. If I see him start to turn, I'll run straight for you guys. Okay? Promise. Okay. And then she'll hold up her pinky finger. She'll kind of give like a half. She's like, okay, can do it. Relax just a little bit. Does that sound good to you, Ephany? She'll, uh, she'll look hesitant, but then she'll, she'll just give a nod.

So I guess, um, at that point she'd kind of take her short sword and it's in its scabbard and she uses that to help her stand up. And she'll go tell Aveline the plan. The Ava plan. So while you guys are talking, I think, I think Aveline, he's around the area. He's just like, he's orbiting you guys. Like he's walking like, like a brainless zombie around like the area. He's just, he's just walking. So if you find him and tell him the plan, he'll say to you, are you sure you want to help run him while he's like that? Clara will kind of give a knowing like, yeah, but then she'll nod.

I'm probably the fastest runner here and I'm still a drow. I can hide. I agree. I know quite a few things about the drow. They are superior athletes in many ways, especially to humans. There's no secret. I trust your abilities much more than mine. And he's going to lower his head again. He's going to say, he's going to say when he's like, he's going to walk away, but he's going to say, we all know this was my call. We could have walked away. He's going to walk. Clara's going to cuss under her breath and then kind of like do a little jog over and put her hand on Aveline's shoulder.

Hey, he startles a bit. He's not used to being touched willingly. Is he going to turn around or is he going to keep his back? When you touch him, he's like, oh, human contact. What is this? He's going to look, he's going to look back at you. She's going to meet his eyes and say, you can't take this to heart. This wasn't your fault. You made the right call and you saved someone. And she's going to do a little chin nod to the man whose name we don't even know yet because we've been busy with our own shit. Everyone's fine. And it's going to be OK. All right. OK.

Thank you. He's going to he's going to. This is crazy. He's going to look around very hard and he's going to he's going to like open up his arms a little bit and see if you're receptive. She'll do like a little awkward half smile and then step forward and do like a one armed hug and like a pat pat on the back. Like also not used to hugging, but like, this is the part where we're supposed to hug. Yeah, it's like an awkward teen movie. We're supposed to hug. It's a feel good moment. We don't know how to do this. Right. So if I'm understanding the plan correctly, everyone in the party, except, of course, for for for Merrick and Clara, are going to travel back the way you came to try and find the two gnomes.

I figured they'll be safe with the mammoth. Yeah, and like that'd be easy to find because if we tell them to go ahead to Brightport, there's a good chance there could be bandits or gnolls or something else, whereas we've already been through that area. Right. There's a slightly less chance of them running into anything nasty. OK. OK. Do you want to do you want to go ahead and do that then? That sound good to everybody else? I guess. If he's going to eat someone, at least it's just one guy. It's not just Merrick though, it's what if more gnolls show up? Fair.

It's an excellent point. If Ephony brings that up, maybe we could drag Merrick somewhere else. Yeah, I think she would. I think if we were getting ready to leave you two behind, I think she'd have probably have a problem with it. Don't we still have our cart? Yeah. So, I mean, it wouldn't be I mean, besides carrying him, it shouldn't be too difficult to move Merrick. Right. All right. So how about we do that? We pack up Merrick. Like an awkward Christmas tree we're putting in a storage shed. Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag. And you know what? As long as we're using the rope, I mean, we could go around him a few times.

Yeah. Yeah, just to be safe. Just to tuck him in. Just to buy me a few seconds in case. Yeah, I'm so I'm picturing Merrick as maybe breathing, like the breathing is a little labored, because he's probably got at least a couple of cracked ribs or something going on. Like he's, he's been punctured and bruised and beaten a lot. And healing spells kind of ran out. So what we're going to do is we're going to you guys are packing up the cart. Mm hmm. And you're all heading out then. Right from this place. And then me and Merrick are going to jump off at some point and there they'll continue on because I don't want to in case something happens with Merrick.

I don't want to be a thing. Right, right, right. Okay. We brought trouble to two adorable gnomes and their mammoth. Right. Dig in. And while you're doing that, that guy is going to take his gag off and and immediately start walking over to these two burned bodies. And just he's like running. So halfling gentlemen, just like running his hands through his hair. Just like, ahhh, like that. Like you could tell just kind of in anguish. Oh. And kind of like reaching out but realizing it's like, I can't touch them because fuck burning and you know that they're hot.

So like, and eventually would probably turn his attention to the party. And not not crying, but just you could tell it's like a bit broken up about it, you know, like this is obviously a complete tragedy. It's horrendous. Efanny is going to go over to him and she'll look at him and she'll just say, I'm so sorry that we couldn't get to them in time. Are you okay? Do you need any help? He's probably going to look back to the two stakes. I know that you did everything you could. I appreciate it. Obviously, this is a lot to take in, but thank you so much. And he would probably clamp his hands around Efanny's like, like kind of like a forceful handshake type thing.

Peter Hornsdale, thank you. Thank you so much. Efanny, it's not a problem and she'll give his hand a squeeze. You lovely people wouldn't happen to be on your way to Brightport, would you? Efanny's going to glance across at everybody else like, we are, but do I tell this guy? Probably probably just nod like. And he would he would probably look to the sky. Oh, thank the gods. Peter Hornsdale, operator, owner, Sleazy Pete's, Brightport. Sleazy Pete's. At least he's not a gnome. Or a gnoll. Yeah, that's yeah. And he's probably he's probably like rubbing his wrists every once in a while, just because of the the bindings and stuff like that, just stretching every once in a while.

I cannot tell you what it is to. It's just such a relief that you wonderful, kind people arrived when you did. I am obviously out a lot of gold, but I can absolutely repay you for your kindness. If you would help me get to Brightport, I can offer you free room and board. I can offer you free meals at the finest budget brothel that Brightport has ever seen. Oh, real quick, could I do a little insight check to make sure that this guy's just kind of weird and not sleazy? I mean, well, you know what I mean? Yes. I mean, go ahead. Wow. Nice. Wow. That's a 20. Yeah.

It seems like he's on the level in terms of like offering you free room and board and stuff like that. Absolutely. Sleazy. Not I mean, not to overuse the term, but... Sorry. My one question is, was he genuinely upset by the deaths of these other two people? Oh, yeah, it looked like he was. Yeah. I was just double check. I wanted to make sure that he hadn't set this up somehow. Like, I know that's stupid and would have been ridiculously hard to point out, but for some reason I got that vibe for a second. Right. Yeah, I don't know to what end that would be, but like, yeah, no.

All right. So he's just like a sleazy brothel owner, dude? Yeah. That's okay. After he says that, Elrath would probably just be like, what do you mean like, obviously, did they rob you? Because like, you can probably get your gold back there, dad. And point it at the gnolls, not the girls. Oh! Sorry. Yes! And he would probably look at you like, quizzically. Like, I do. Oh! Ah. Oh, well, I'm actually coming from Fair Bay. I was on a long business trip to pick up, and he's going to motion to the two ladies that were at the stake here. That is Angela and Destiny. They came highly recommended, but unfortunately, they did not make the trip back.

And he's going to look down like, bless their souls. Ellen's going to look away, ashamed. She's just going to look confused, like, okay, I guess. Clara almost wants to explain. But she'll kind of like, give Elrath a little head nod and be like, later. Okay. Do you still have a cart or anything? She's going to kind of look at the cart like, is it worth saving? Because wasn't it like, tilted over or something? Yeah, it's pretty ransacked. Like, Gnolls are not, they're not precision in their, they're pretty much just wreck it. Just take it all down, just take it apart, wreck everything, that type of thing.

Because they're not really trying to use the cart for anything, so they don't care. I am afraid I'm at a disadvantage here. Again, we're not too far outside of Brightport, and I can absolutely repay your kindness and generosity. We are absolutely friends at this point. And trust me, you want to be a friend to Sleazy Pete. No, I really do. Clara will kind of think about this for a second, because that does, he doesn't have a way to get to Brightport. So, and he says it's really close by? It's about three days away. That's not close by at all. Well, relatively.

Our mammoth is just like 20 minutes backwards. Oh no, that's about half a day. Oh, is it? Oh, I thought they were closer for some reason. I don't, do you guys want to, so she'll kind of maybe get everyone to kind of huddle up, except for Sleazy Pete. And, well, he's not a part of the group. Fair enough. And kind of like, I don't want to huddle that guy. Sorry. She'll kind of just look to everybody. What do you guys think? Continue to Brightport or go back? Well, I for one don't see a reason why we shouldn't trust this guy. Just stares at him. I'm very sex positive.

Elarath, Efanny. Well, what time of the day is it right now? We're later in the day, but not near, not quite near sunset somewhere in there. It's mid-afternoon. OK. She'd probably say then. Well, if we could get away from, and she'll kind of gesture towards the two stakes and the gnolls. That'd probably be good. And if he's going that way, then I don't know, maybe we can take him that way. I feel bad they stole his money, though. I don't, I don't get it. But alright. Later. Clara will look down to Merrick, who I imagine at this point we've kind of like packaged.

So he is tied up. I meant like maybe not like tied up, but we were going to probably use ropes to get him onto the cart. OK. How safe do you feel making Merrick, having Merrick come with us? And she's kind of going to be just looking at Elarath when she asks that. Um. She'd look kind of uncomfortable, but then she'd say. I mean, if we can. I hate and I know he's like I know he's a friend inside and outside right now. Well, maybe we can just keep the ropes on him and then when he starts to maybe wake up, we can stop and all get out of the cart until we know he's OK.

I don't know. We can't we can't just leave him here if there's more of that, because that's not right either. And then if he does turn, then we can't let him lose. And so I guess the best idea is to take him with us, but keep him in a rope for now. Jason, in the way the cart is built. It's kind of like a carriage, right? Yeah. Is there a spot on the back for people to sit? Because sometimes carriages have that. Well, like extra people or like children or things like that. I would say, well, first of all, like you guys basically got the SUV of carts. Like it was you got the the the the Escalade.

All purpose, baby. Yeah. Yeah. So it's rough and tumble. And at the same time, it's pretty big. So Merrick could be laying down in the back and then people can be positioned all over it. Like I wouldn't say that it's. I don't want to see that's what I'm trying to avoid here by asking if there's a back because it would suck if Merrick woke up and was and was turning. No offense, Jasper. And it was just surrounded by a buffet of people who are stuck in a small area with them. Right. Thinking if there is like a little bench in the back, Clara could just sit with Merrick, make sure he doesn't fall down and be there to explain the situation when he does wake up.

Oh, you want to tie him to the bike rack? Kind of. But if it's a place where people can sit, even better. I can imagine it being like, you know, like a bumper on a car, except if it's made out of wood, you could sort of fold it down and it becomes a bench for people to sit on. Like. Right. Because I used I went camping all the time and they had tons of carriages that had a thing right. We could do that. Sure. All right. So how about that? That will tie him to the back. Clara will be there with him. Maybe ask Avalon for the silver dagger and then everyone in the actual carriage is a little bit safer.

Agreed. Avalon would definitely give Clara the dagger. All right. That sounds like a plan if everyone's on board. OK. Who's going to tell Pete? I think Effany is really taking the lead on this sleazy Pete fella. She's got the highest charisma. Sure does. You're going to tell Pete the plan. Don't tell him about the werewolf. Just let him know he's allowed to come with. OK, I'm on it. So Pete would be absolutely over the moon. Just thrilled. Probably shake Effany's hand again. And then he would bid adieu to Angela and Destiny one more time. And kind of take his hat off and and and hold it over his heart and then walk toward the wagon with you guys.

While Effany is talking to sleazy Pete as well, Clara will quickly explain what what what Destiny and Angela were. Who Angela and Destiny were to Elaraf. He spent all of his money on the girls. Ew! Does everyone hear that? Does Elaraf not know what a brothel is? No! Cool! No! So they won't. She doesn't think about that kind of nature of people. So like the thing, the idea that people would pay for it. Like she knows it happens, obviously, but like she just doesn't think about it because whatever. But then she's like, what? Imagine at that point it became a little class because Evelyn's there too.

So Clara has to explain what a prostitute is, how the money is exchanged, and then what a brothel is in a row. And Evelyn kind of like tilt his head like a dog. And he's like, I don't I don't understand. Do these women enjoy this? Is it? I do they do they choose this? Is this another form of slavery or is it? I'm not sure. Clara's going to kind of do the little like seesaw motion with her hands. Some of them do. Some of them it's what they're forced to do. And some of them it is slavery. But the last one's pretty rare. Usually it's a choice. OK. She's just like, OK.

In her mind, she wouldn't know why anybody would choose that. But she's going to say OK. Clara would be like, if you do you think that anyone like chooses their job that much? I mean, I can't. I don't. She'll make that sound too, because her brain is shutting down. Clara's just going to kind of give a little shrug. You do what we got to do. OK. OK, yes. Maybe we'll meet a few. Oh. Then a small pat on the back. And she's still like as she's tying Merrick to the back of the wagon. I tell you about the birds and the bees guys. I imagine Pete would be walking toward the wagon, like rubbing his hands like, all right, let's hit the road.

Definitely discreetly wiping a hand. Let's do a thing while you guys are on the road here. So there's a few things we got to get out of the way. One, who would like to spend some hit die while you're taking a short rest? Oh, I love to eat! How and like real? I think I only have one. Oh, you should have more than one. You should have four. Oh, that's what the number four is on there for. So all you do is roll that on the table. All right. Here we go. I'm just going to I'm just going to do that again. Yeah. And then again. OK, that one's better. That's better. Should I hang on to that last one?

No, fuck it. Let's go. All right. Oh, I'm fully healed. I used all of my hit die. Effeny. You might as well. I'm doing OK now. I didn't know I got that beat up. There we go, Effeny. There you go. There you go. Hey. Yeah, you're a barbarian. Fuck you and your D10s. That's a D12. D12? Fuck! We get like D8s. Or do we get D10s? I don't know. So you guys are in an area that has a lot of activity. So here's what I'm going to ask you to do, because you've had a rough time. I'm going to ask one of you to roll a flat D20 for me. And as long as it's not a one, two, or three, you're fine.

On a one, two, or three, bad, bad things are going to happen. And this is basically a one, two, or three would simulate the worst kind of luck. Like a sitcom where someone goes, "What could possibly go wrong?" And then you do the fucking swipe to "Everything's on fire" and flooding at the same time. So I think Merrick. What? What do you want me to roll? Just a flat D20. And as long as it's not a one, two, or three, we're fine. Guys, we're going to be fine. Okay, hang on. Let me make sure that I'm ready. Okay. It's just emotional. There's nothing going on. Nothing technical.

There's no technical issues. Okay, everybody. That is a five. Oh, thank God. Anything above a three is just fine. With how many threes I rolled earlier today, I was like, "I am not going for this." Okay. A few hours are going to pass. Merrick, would you like to spend some hit die? Yeah, I wasn't sure how that would work as an unconscious creature. Well, let's say that you are just coming to now. Okay. Now, the first sensations you are going to feel is one, you're bound. Two, you're bouncing up and down on the back of this wagon. Clara's hand is on your chest comfortingly, but mostly just holding you upright.

With a dagger in it. Yeah, I get it. No, the other one has the dagger in it. Okay, cool. The dagger's out, though. My dick's out. Yeah. Okay, so you want me to roll a hit die here? Yeah, until... You can heal up, man, if you want. *sings* Gonna roll. Oh, great. Wow. So you're good. I'm good to go. Obviously, you are still in some pain. I mean, you've had a rough day. Yeah. What would Merrick's reaction be to waking up on the back of this wagon? Well, I think there's a question of how coherent is he in his brain? Would he be on a scale of "where am I, what's happening" to "oh, I remember everything, where is he on the map?" I think it would take a few seconds.

You'd probably be a little fuzzy. 'Cause one, you're in a completely different place than where you were. Time has passed, you were unconscious. But after a few seconds, you'd go, "oh, yeah, okay, okay." Now, that being said, Merrick is exceptionally stressed out. Okay. All right. From a mechanical point of view, is he stressed out in a bad way? Yeah. Okay, great, cool. Not in a "everything's on fire" way, but you definitely feel it. Closer to the edge, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, so, can Merrick, if he opened his eyes, what would he be seeing? This is a question for Bree.

Was Merrick facing the road, facing up? You know what I mean? Where are his eyes? I feel like he would be seeing the road. We're on the back, he's sitting up, looking out at the lovely, peaceful trees, and the peaceful sky, and the peaceful sun, and... He'd probably wake up with a smile on his face. So, just staring right into the sun. But no, he would see the forest moving around him, the road, and hear the horses, all that. Would he see Clara, if he moved his head? Yeah, if he turned his head to the left, probably. Like, she's right there. Okay, just seeing if it was like he sees Clara first thing, or if it's like, "wait, who's near me?" Yeah, no, she's not in his lap.

I thought about it, gave it a run. Okay, cool. Alright, so his eyes are gonna open, he's gonna be jostling around, right? And then piece it together after a few seconds, and then he's gonna look down at himself, like to sort of check his body out. He's wondering if he's not able to move because he doesn't have a body, or like everything's gone, or if he's like tied up, he's gonna realize, "oh, yeah, this makes sense." And he's gonna turn his head one way, and then turn his head to the other way. This is super slow, because I bet things are just super painful.

And he's gonna see Clara, and he's gonna go, "oh, that was a mistake." And then I think he's gonna turn his head back to the road that's unfolding underneath the carriage, and going away from him. And I don't think he's gonna say anything else. I think that's gonna be it for a minute. Clara's gonna give him a few seconds, mostly just studying his face, making sure everything's cool, and then she's going to ask, "how are you feeling?" I'm not saying that there's a problem, but I am saying that he's gonna kind of, whatever he can move, like if his wrists are sort of tied together, he's gonna really jostle him for a second, and he's gonna say, "I think you probably did the right thing.

How's everybody else?" Everyone's alive. We were pretty beat up. We're on our way to Brightport with Sleazy Pete. And then she's gonna kind of smile at the last part. Okay. I think this is fair. Can I roll a... to see if he knows Sleazy Pete? Please! I have known about Sleazy Pete. Ah, beautiful. So, okay, you've been around Brightport. You've had some dealings here. I hope the kids call it these days. I think this is reasonable. Do me a favor, give me a flat wisdom check. Okay. Oh, you have definitely heard of Sleazy Pete. Wait a minute. Can we roll to see if Marix ever has... no, he hasn't.

Never mind. You want to make it a roll? I just don't know. Marix's been very, very isolated when it comes to... Right, like he has a cute little girlfriend and... Well, yeah. Ish. We'll find out. Yeah, this is not a... yeah, never mind. He would not have been with Sleazy Pete's wares. But you know of Sleazy Pete. You've heard the name. In 18, what would I know of Sleazy Pete? Let's put it this way. Here's my question. Would Marix go like, "Oh, that guy." Or would he start laughing? Well, okay. The brothel game in Brightport is a cutthroat industry. And everyone's looking to get their piece of the action.

So, you gotta start... the important thing is to build a brand. And that's what Pete's there to do. He is the finest budget brothel in all of Brightport. He knows he can't compete with the supple companion. I mean, that's just... and he's not the toughest joint in town, because that's the rusty nipple. So, you just gotta go with the clientele bar. So, Sleazy Pete's is... it's where you go if you're looking for companionship, but you only got a few gold to your name. That type of thing. A few minutes. A few... yeah. In the motel game, they would rent by the hour.

Oh. Okay. Marix is gonna... Marix is just gonna drop his head a little bit. He's gonna go, "Sleezy Pete. Finest budget, huh?" Is there any chance that... I just wanna make sure that... I wanna get this fully, fully fleshed out. Is there any chance that Marix would have ever met Sleazy Pete? Probably not unless you go to Pete's... Okay. I just wanted to see... I wanted to see if it's the kind of thing he's gonna take me to him. Like, "Hey, Pete. What's up?" Or if it's gonna be like, "I know you guys." Okay. Alright, cool. He's just gonna sort of laugh and say, "Finest budget, huh?" How far away are we?

Hey, Jason. How far away are we? About three days. This will only be a few hours since we started. Okay. About three days. You haven't been out that long. How long? Hey, Jason. About three hours. About three hours. Fine. Okay, okay. I think I'm gonna be okay. But you did the right thing. And next time this happens, do this again. Okay? How about this just doesn't happen again? Fair. Fair. That was a mistake. Whose idea was that? Why did you run into the middle? I was trying to help. Murk's gonna stare off into the distance at that point. And he's gonna look confused. She's gonna grab his chin and make him meet her eyes.

Next time help from a distance. And she's gonna cut him off. Not so that he falls off the cart, but she's gonna cut it. She is using the silver dagger to cut through the ropes. He's just gonna nod. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I was just trying to help. Thank you. He's gonna realize that was not right. That's not how you help. Werewolf does not equal helping. He's putting it together. Yeah. No. Not good. I think, honestly, there's not much else for Merrick to say at this point. I think he's just gonna be like, "No, you did right." And then he's just gonna hunker down and not want to move or be moved or anything, I think.

Yeah. If Merrick's not super interested in moving to the front, Clara and him can just sit in the back and chill. Yeah. His attitude is of like, "Whoa, what a fucking shit show. Hey." You know at the end of some action movies where the two heroes who just went through hell just sit down in the middle of all the bullshit and just like, -that's the best one. -that's the vibe. Yeah, the shawarma scene. Exactly. That is the exact vibe on the back of this cart. Okay, I'll make that actually. Merrick's gonna go for a long pause and just watch out as the road's sort of, and the light's going down a little bit and the road's sort of falling away.

He's gonna say, "Got anything to eat?" And that's end scene, right? He's thankful and grateful and exactly where he feels like he needs to be right now. So hours are gonna tick by here, right? And you guys, I would imagine at a certain point, you're gonna make camp. You're probably, you know, couple, you know, two and a half days outside of Brightport, somewhere in there by the time you finally park for the night and look for a spot. Pete would probably come up from behind Merrick and probably put his hands on Merrick's shoulders. "Hey, nice to see you up and about, buddy.

You're sticky." And he's going to point at Clara. Would you have a moment of time to spare? She will be pulled aside. So yeah, I can't, I imagine you guys are setting up camp and you're getting ready to rest for the night. And Pete would want to pull Clara aside. Okay, now don't say no until I've gotten the entire sales pitch out to you. Oh no. As you know, I have lost a considerable amount of gold today. Now that's just part of the game, sadly. Have you ever considered a break from the busy, go-nowhere lifestyle of the adventurer? Things like today, you took a walloping.

Now, if you were to say, "Come work for me," you would be a more exotic fair for the people of Brightport. And trust me, there is a market for the exotic fair. I could set you up right, you'd have your own room, and you'd probably be making far more than you would be to be stabbed and bludgeoned by gnolls and things. So don't say anything. Think about it. And he's going to kind of back up and almost take a bow, like, "Ah, just think about it. I'll be near the cost." [laughter] I feel like the whole time he was talking, Clara was just shocked to the point where it was visible on her face, and then every time he said, "No, no, no, don't say it," she did open her mouth to say something, and then he did manage to stop her in time each time.

She was that susceptible to that tactic that she was like, "Ah, okay." And then she'll just kind of blink a few times and slowly walk back to the campsite. [laughter] And he would probably pat Aveline near the waist, like thigh-high, something like that. "All right, big man, what are we eating tonight?" "Well, luckily our cook is awake. So let's ask him, Merrick, how are you feeling?" Is Merrick still tied up on the back? He was cut free. Okay. Okay, let's see. Is Merrick well enough to be able to sort of help set up camp, or is he incapacitated? He's okay, right?

No, he's fine by now. You've had the better part of a day to rest up. Okay, cool. All right, yeah, stab wounds, no big deal. Okay, Merrick's gonna look over at Sleazy Pete. He's talking to Aveline, but he's gonna look over slowly. Wait, actually, let me back up. Was Merrick able to hear Sleazy Pete's conversation with Clara? I would say he pulled, he probably pulled her far enough away that they, like you'd hear, you'd be able to distinctly hear talking, but probably not what was being said. Okay, all right. Okay, well, in any case, Merrick's gonna look over, he's gonna look around, he's gonna sort of look at the bags for a second, he's gonna be like, "Hmm," he's like thinking about what to prepare.

And he's gonna look over at Sleazy Pete and he's gonna go, "Oh, uh, I'm gonna put some meat on a spit and we're gonna have some meat." I would say without missing a beat, he would probably do the hands rubbing together thing. Fantastic. Like, complete disconnect from everything. Merrick's not trying to be a dick, it really just, he was just like, "I don't know." "Okay, meat, burned meat, okay, that sounds pretty good tonight." Yeah, well, it's quick and easy, that type of thing, yeah. So, that's what, it's just gonna be pure and simple, I don't know what kind of meat they might have with them, maybe probably some sausages or something like that.

He's gonna do some sausages and he's also gonna have, on a separate end of the spit, he's going to have some onions, some sort of like bell peppers and things for the-- Oh, I love bell peppers. Yeah, for the vegetarians in the group. And it's gonna be pretty simple. And he's going to also have some sticky rice that he's gonna be cooking in a little pot. Good lord, that is a setup. Does anyone want to do anything before we just fast forward through time? I feel like Clara might want to talk to Elaraf. Ooh, okay. Possible career change, it is good to talk that over with friends.

God damn it. So, after that conversation, if that was a conversation, I feel like she just kind of watched a monologue. Clara is going to look for Elaraf. Where would Elaraf be at this point? Um, sorry, she'd probably be sitting down and just kind of like wary, like not really comfortable, like a little bit more relaxed, but still like in her own thoughts. So like near the fire, but not next to the cooking or anything like that. So Clara would approach and just kind of make sure that Elaraf sees her first. You know in that way where you know you're sneaking up on someone, so you go out of your way to not spook them?

Yes. You kind of go around like, "Hey, do you see me?" Just like, "You know I'm here." Yeah. And then she'll ask, "Is his seat taken?" She'll just probably look up and just kind of like, "Mm? No." And then as she's sitting down, she'll be like, "How you doing?" "I'm okay. How are you?" She's going to kind of like do a little half smile and then go, "You know what I meant." And then she's going to like bring her eyes over to Merrick and back. Like don't change the subject. Damn it. So she'll probably just like kind of like I guess like half laugh I guess.

Just like it's just weird because it's like it's one thing for somebody to be like, "Hey, I got this thing," and then for that thing to happen. But then he's back and like making dinner and I just don't -- But I know he's a friend with something weird. And I think that that's how I have to look at it I guess. She's just kind of like -- she's going to be tilting her head like weird like trying to think about it. And then like kind of look up at you like, "Does that make sense?" Yeah. I mean I guess even so I mean obviously you have a different experience than any of us do with what Merrick is.

Do you think you'll still be okay? Yeah. It was just -- I don't know. It's half of like that happened and I'm glad that he told us so that we could at least kind of expect it. But then at the other hand I thought that like if it happened I could be like ready to go to take care of it. And instead, I don't know if they told you, but I just like fucking ran. Like I scared a cat. I just like left and I don't know why I did that. She's going to be kind of frustrated like scuffling her feet a little bit. Just like I don't know why I ran away from that. Especially if he's going to be normal now.

But if he wasn't normal then what were they going to do? I don't know. I'm just -- it's just weird now him like being all up and stuff and then knowing that that's there. And I just -- I don't know. I'll be okay and I think maybe if we just get some good like sleep. But like I just -- I can't -- I don't like that my first instinct was to run and not to fight. Clara's going to shake her head. Alarath, your first instinct was fucking right. You know that, right? Sometimes you have to run. And if Merrick -- if that ever does happen and we're going to do everything in our fucking power to make sure it doesn't.

But if it ever does, you guys need to take off. We all need to take off. Okay. I'm really glad that like he's okay. I don't want to sound like I'm not happy that he's still here. Because he's our friend. And I know that he's helped me a whole lot. I just don't -- I don't know. I'm glad too. So Alarath, have you like never been in a relationship? What? That's going to get you completely off guard. Complete different subject. What? Like friends? No, like, you know, like a boy and a girl, like at the brothel. Ew. No. And then she's going to kind of like turn her head and she's going to mumble something and draw.

But like, you know how sometimes you can tell what someone's saying, even if it's a different language? She's very clearly going, "Damn it." Sorry. And like question mark at the end. And then she's going to kind of smile at Alarath and I was just -- it was kind of -- you know, you're the one who like teaches me stuff, right? Like that's why I -- I was kind of hoping you knew. I know that it like happens. Because obviously that's how we get here. But like, gross. I'm so sorry. She's ridiculous and I love her. She's so cute. Just no. Well, you're going to have to figure it out pretty soon because it sounds like we're going to spend the night at a brothel.

So you might see some stuff. Wow, what? Her eyes are huge right now. What? I doubt they do it in the lounge, but -- Thank God. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. No, I'm good. Are you okay? Like, though? For reals? I was knocked out for the scary part. So, I'm fine. I'm freaked out and I wish I could have made it not happen. What? You just deal with the cards you're dealt. Well, I'm glad we're all okay. Even that guy. Because she has a low opinion of him now. She's like, "Mmm." A sleazy Pete, not Merrick. Oh, I thought you meant Merrick. No, no, no, sorry.

I just realized I was like, "Oh, shit." I should clarify. No, no, no, no. No! Pete's right behind her. Hi. Hello. You got some pretty strong arms there, kid. Heard my name. You summon him? How is he in two places at once? I'm very sleazy. Gross. So, are we laying down for the evening? I think so. All right. Yeah. So, I picture, you know, the typical campsite thing. Pete'll find a spot and curl up. And, uh, um... I would imagine this has been... Well, obviously, this has been a long day for everybody. And catching some Zs is probably very welcome at this point. How's about I give everybody a long rest?

How does that sound? Yay! Yay! There we go. I love rest. So that means that I get all my superiority dice back. Yay! And spell slots and stuff like that for, you know, if you're the healer and you might need that. What? So, while you guys are laying down... Um, someone's gonna start talking to Merrick. Boy, how you... You had a long day. Are you feeling all right? Uh... Can you give me some more context? Sure! Again, I would picture the camp is pretty damn quiet, except for maybe the crackling of fire. But even that's starting to kind of come down a bit, you know?

Everyone is probably laying down, except for one person, usually, in a situation like this. Someone takes guard for a couple of hours, tags someone else in. You know, a stand-by-me situation. Right, right. So, at this point, I picture Merrick laying down and let's say it's Effany taking watch. And then, you know, a couple hours later, it'll be Clara's turn. So, the camp's quiet, beyond obviously, you know, Merrick being spoken to at this moment. Mm-hmm. Um... Okay, I just want to make sure it's clear to me as a player. Is this something that Merrick is strangely okay with?

Or would he be like, "What the fuck?" I would imagine it's probably, "Let me look around and see who's addressing me." Okay, cool. I just want to make sure, you know, it could be the kind of thing where it's like, "And this is perfectly reasonable." Right. And you're just kind of going with it. Yeah, no, I... Yeah. All right, so Merrick's going to... So, I'm assuming he's sort of laying down. He's going to immediately bolt up and sort of just look around like... Hang on. And he's going to actually just say like... Even though it's pretty quiet, he's going to say, "What?" Assuming that someone said it in the camp, but he doesn't know who it was, right?

So he's just, "What was that?" Right. And I would imagine, let's say everyone except for Effie right now is kind of snoring away. Would Effie have a reaction? Probably startled at him suddenly jumping up and when he calls out, "What?" she'd probably also say, "What?" I didn't say anything. Okay, Merrick is going to lift up his hand and just kind of wave it and go like, "Sorry, I was in that, you know, when you're falling asleep and you're kind of dreaming, but you're still kind of awake. Never mind. Thanks. Good night." And he's going to sort of just put his head back down and just assume that, no, like this was just one of those little dream state things.

The second Merrick lays back down and starts to get his bearings. "Oh, I am so sorry I wasn't trying to startle you." Merrick's eyes are going to go wide open and he's going to stay completely paralyzed and literally not do anything. He's not going to respond. He's just going to, he's trying to orient himself and triangulate. Like, is this in his brain? Is this outside of his ears? Is this like someone behind him? He's trying to not move. "It just occurred to me that you had a really, really rough day. You know you should be dead, right?" Merrick is at that point.

So let me ask, I'm assuming that this is not, he's like I said, he's triangulating. He's not catching this coming from behind him or... No, no, no, no. It's not... It's like around him. Yeah. It's not coming from a direction. It's kind of omnipresent. Okay, so he's going to, he's going to scramble to his feet. And again, sort of just be paralyzed for a second. He's not going to say anything. He's not going to move. He's in like high alert. And that's it. That's all that's going to happen. So I'm imagining that Efony probably would see that or at least notice it in some way and be like, whatever.

Maybe he's going to go pee or something. Like he's not freaking out. He's not like yelling and saying like, "Efony, help me!" He's just like... He's just stood up again. Yeah, he just went, he just got up. I think she'd be like, she'd probably have a look like, "Oh, what now?" But she'd just call out, "What's going on? You okay? What's up?" He's going to take a few beats and he's going to say, "Do you hear anything?" "Just you springing up and down? Other than that, no. Why? What are you hearing?" I need some fucking sleep is what I need. And he's just going to try to calm his shit down.

Remember, so he's very aware of where he's just been. Right? Like he gets it. And he's just assuming that this is stress. Like he's just got to rest. He's healed, but he's just gone through something that's not for him is incredibly traumatic stuff. Like he doesn't want to deal with this shit. So he's just going to assume that he's just a little bit off kilter. But what he doesn't want to do is make Effiny feel like something bad is going to happen. He's just going to try to lay down and do a lay down meditation type thing. Right? He's going to calm his ass down.

Effiny is going to look a little sorry for being a little bit snappy kind of thing. So as he's lying down, she'll just be like, "Everything's good. Everything's all okay. Lie down, buddy. Get some rest. New day tomorrow." He's going to just yeah, he's not going to say anything. He's just going to as he's as he's getting down and getting sorted, he's just going to lift his hand up with a thumbs up. Like, it's cool. It's cool. And again, as Asmeric's laying back down, I am being rude. I'm sorry. Again, you've had a really rough day. I'll tell you what, buddy.

You get some sleep and we'll talk again real soon. But just just get some rest. Get some rest. Maric's eyes are wide, wide open. And his probably his mouth, his jaw is like a little bit like, ah. So he's going to say, "Are you me?" Okay. How audible is this? He's going to he's going to say he's going to kind of whisper it like he would he would do it in such a way that Ef and he could not hear this. He's basically saying like, "Am I talking to my hallucination in order to like dispel it?" You know, like, fine, I'll give you the time of day. Right. So he's going to just say like, "Are you me?" And he's going to kind of give kind of like a little face like, "Yeah, you're me." "Are you me?" "Yeah." This can absolutely wait.

I got a little impatient. I'm sorry. It's been a long time since I've had a chance to chat with someone. I've got all the time in the world, but I was just more concerned with you. I mean, again, you should be dead. I would honestly thank your friend over there. Maybe Baker something or something like that. Stay in those good graces, right? I want to keep doing this. I do. But I know that Merrick is going to be like, "Nope, nope, nope." "I need some sleep." "Nope, this is actually..." He's going to be like, "No, you know what?" "This is too much for me." "When I get this far and everything I just went through, of course, of course this is happening." "Of course." It's like a near-death experience, like a day later.

Right? Like, "It's cool." "I'm going to breathe." "I'm going to focus on breathing in and breathing out." And he is going to ignore this. He's going to just assume that this is nothing but stress and stab wounds and a big attack kind of just having gotten to him. Truly. I want to keep talking. I want this to keep happening. But I think he would be just like, "No, no." And I truly, just to make sure it's clear, he's not worried. He's not thinking that this is really a thing. Right. It's just stress. He's truly thinking, "Oh, man, the human mind, man, it sure can fuck with you." And he's just going to try his damnedest to go into a meditative state.

He's going to try to be like, "Mm-mm, I'm going out. I'm out." But I just want to make sure it's clear. He's not scared. He's not considering anything. He's not even thinking about this being anything other than just like, "This will be gone in the morning." Right. I would say time's going to go by and you're not going to hear the voice come back. And eventually, I would like to think that Merrick would drift off to sleep. Yeah, that's the whole point. Yeah. So picking things up the next day, does anyone want to do anything before we hit the road? Because I was just going to keep pushing along.

As the camp is being sort of broken down and put back up, Merrick is going to go over to Effiny. And I'm assuming that Effiny is probably rolling something up and tying something together or something like that. And whatever Effiny is doing, he's going to gently, and in a very nice way, he's going to hold her arm, take whatever she has in her hands out and sort of lay it down. He's going to turn Effiny towards him. Effiny, I'm assuming that you're not fighting that or anything? She'll probably just look really surprised by it. Probably for a minute there might be some hesitation or resistance, but then she'll relax.

He's going to get down on his knees so he's a little bit more roughly at eye level. Yeah. He's going to look a little bit lower to be honest at that point. But he's going to put his hands in Effiny's hands and he's going to look straight at Effiny. And he's just going to say, very slowly, very deliberately, he's going to say, "Thank you." And then he's going to pull Effiny in and just super, super hug. Aww. And when that's happening, he's going to say, while they're in a hug, he's going to say, "I know that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." And he's going to squeeze super, super fucking tight.

And kill Effiny. Yeah. That's how I die. Smothered. Effiny will be really surprised. And... Hey, Maric probably can't see it, but she'll probably blush a little. She'll probably be a little bit embarrassed, a little bit self-conscious. But she will hug him back. And she'll just say, "I wasn't... If it's in my power, I will save any member of this group. I will not let you go down. If I can help it. I want all of you guys around for a little while longer, yeah." Maric's going to come out of the embrace and he's going... I really want him to be... He's going to have tears in his eyes.

His eyes are going to be very, very watered. And he's going to grab Effiny's hands again. He's holding them together with his, like really close. And he's clearly very, very moved right now, just in general, because this is a big deal. He's going to say... He's going to kind of whisper it. He's going to go, "I'm going to bake you something." And he's just going to smile. Effiny will grin at that point really, really big at him and she'll be like, "Yes!" And then she'll be like, "I mean, you don't have to. No, you don't have to do that. Don't worry about it.

Totally. Totally make me a cake. Totally." But she's just grinning at him and she'll give his hands a squeeze and still grinning at him, but she's like, "I'm really glad you're okay." He's going to shake her hands a little bit. I think you can imagine what I'm saying. He's holding them tight and he's being really sincere. He's going to say, "Do you like orange zest?" Yes. And then he's just going to smile and nod and he's going to let go of Effiny's hands. He's going to stand up and he's going to smile one more time and he's going to go back and help pack everything up.

She'll watch him go with a big smile on her face and she's still probably feeling a little bit self-conscious, but she's a big smile on her face and then she'll go back to packing her stuff up too. That's it. All right. Here's what we're going to do. We have a little over two days until Brightport. I want one of you to roll a flat D20 unless it's a one, two, or three. We're just going to pass those couple of days on the road and nothing extraordinary is going to happen. I have a land. I was just going to say, "You guys want me to do this?" Because it's me.

You know what I mean? It's your turn. Look at that. It's already easy. I told you. That was a four. It was a four. Fate is really like, "Uh-uh. Mm-mm." You got one more chance. Hey, so here's what we're going to do. Can I say a famous DNR quote? Sure. "I'll just buy the hair of my balls." Is that a famous DNR quote? It is now. Okay. Got t-shirts. That's what we need. Oh, good Lord. Okay. Well, that's the name of this episode. Get ready, iTunes. Two days are going to go by. Fast forward time to the 24th of Faryor. You guys are going to arrive at the bustling, busy, loud City of Brightports.

Pete's going to rub his hands together as soon as you guys are inside of it. Just like, "Ah, yeah." And he's going to kind of call back over his shoulder to everybody. "I can't wait to see how the gang's doing." Merrick's going to say, "The budget gang." He's just ribbing him. He's not being a dick. Right. Yeah, no. No, he's being a dick. He's being a dick. He's ribbing him. He's just being so... So let me ask a question, because Pete obviously wants to check out the business, make sure everything's still fine. It's a long time to leave things. Would you be willing to accompany Pete?

Because he's actually quite adamant about repaying your kindness, for one. He'd probably be like, "Oh, first two rounds of drinks on the house and other services." We'll see what you're in the mood for. Oh, gross. And as he's talking about other services, "Ah, I got a guy." Gives a fantastic rub down. All the tension in your body. All of it. Gone. Like a jellyfish. [Laughter] So as you're riding... That was in character. [Laughter] Just to clarify. As you're riding through town, he's probably just going on and on about all the decor. So would that be a thing where you would accompany Pete to Sleazy Pete's?

Or would you pretty much drop him off and say, "Maybe later," and just go away? Remember, you have been on the road for many days. Covered in blood, probably. I feel like Clara would look to Merrick for that answer, because Merrick's the one who said that they might have a place somewhere else. Ah. Like when we were talking to... I know their names, I swear to God. What were their names? The two gnomes? The gnomes? Yeah. They had old lady names. They were? Yes, they were. Phyllis? Phyllis was actually one of them? Yeah. Phyllis and Ventra. Ventra. So when we were talking to them, you had said, "We'll be at the house of Brightport.

We'll be at the Dragonkeep." So she's not sure if you had your heart set on that or not. So she'd let you answer. So, in the movie of this, Merrick's going to look up in the sky and put his thumb and his forefinger on his chin, and it's going to flash back quickly to the list of the assassin. A legend? Yes, right? And he's going to think about the list, and he's going to say... Well, first of all, he's going to not do this in front of Pete. He's going to be like, "Let's chat." And he's going to try to get everybody together really quick. Okay. If it's just right outside the carriage or whatever, who knows?

He's going to say, "Okay, everybody. I've got some connections here in Brightport, no question. I want to make sure that everything's cool, and I'm going to be honest, as sleazy as Pete is, I think he's on the level, and it can't hurt for us to have a home base, at least for a night, just in case we need to lay low for any reason. Honestly, it's free meals, some free drinks, and honestly, I kind of want the jellyfish package. Yeah, you do. It's a package. So, yeah, I mean, it's a place to start, you know? I, for one, don't have a problem with sleazy Pete.

I think he's been quite truthful. I don't distrust the guy. The truth is that any way he fucks anything up with somebody, that goes back to him, and he's got a business to run, so I feel like this could only help, from his point of view, at least. Anybody else? Anybody else want to? I think Ella is just going to look a little uncomfortable, but she's not going to say anything. It's more like an "if we have to." Merrick's going to hold his hand out towards Ella, like "no, no, no, no," he's going to say, "I get it, I get it, just to start us off, okay? I just want to make sure we've got a home base, that's all." Okay.

She'll nod. -Effany? -So... Yeah, Effany would agree. Effany would say, "Sorry, my mind keeps going blank." "No, it's fine. No, it's just, you okay with a brothel?" She'll nod and she says, "yeah, I'm totally fine with that, especially as the price is free, and I'm kind of broke right now, so I'm good." Alright, cool. Merrick's going to go over to Pete, and he's going to give him a thumbs up and say, "you know what? We're going to take you up on this. Can you throw in the jellyfish special?" Oh, yeah, Pete would totally give you the finger guns. I thought you were going to stop sooner than that, and she's like, "Pete's going to give you the finger." It's a bridge too far for Pete.

Oh yeah, he would totally give you the finger guns. Fantastic. I can't wait for you to meet everyone. He's almost giddy, like he's just... So, going through the city. Again, this place is, just think urban sprawl. There are people on top of each other constantly. You'd have to drive through the marketplace area, and just people are everywhere. Just kind of hollering at each other like the stock exchange, they're trading goods, they're buying fresh fish, and there's fruit, and there's people selling jewelry. It's almost overwhelming. After being on the road, where you might pass a few people a day or more, but it's kind of a ride by.

You might talk to them for a second or just kind of like a nod of the head and then move on. This is like complete overstimulation. But, unlike Onakol, where it's kind of glitzy and glamorous or there's a sheen, that is lacking in bright ports. A lot of these people are... I don't want to use the word filthy, but they're very regular people, let's say. You could tell that some of these people are just out to make a buck. There's some people who are just kind of scraping by. When speckled in between those people, you'll see people who are either business owners or people who are doing much better for themselves.

You could tell by the way they dress, the way they carry themselves. So, eventually, I'd say after minutes and minutes and minutes, you would arrive at Sleazy Pete's. Surprisingly, this building probably isn't in the state that you would expect a building called Sleazy Pete's. It's actually a pretty nice house. It's multiple bedrooms. It's kind of warm and inviting a little bit. Except for the sign, kind of almost graffito tagged, Sleazy Pete's right outside. It doesn't light up or anything like that. But it's kind of a clash with the building itself. And Pete would kind of usher everybody inside.

Please come in. Wait, I have one question. First thing that Merrick's going to say is, we got to make sure this thing's safe and he's going to point back to the wagon. You got any place for this? Oh, well, you could park it around back. I need a safe place. And he's going to hold up his hands. Trust me, no one's going to touch it. Merrick's going to narrow his eyes. I was going to say he's going to throw him the keys, but I don't get to throw him the keys. Where would you stick keys in a horse? Well, that's not there's none of your business. OK, I mean, yeah, Merrick's going to whatever is going to have to happen when this carries, Merrick's going to make sure he's at least Merrick is going to go back and make sure that this feels reasonable.

But other than that, other than that, right. Get ushered in. So after taking care of the wagon and the horses and all that stuff, and they probably got a couple of bags of oats and, you know, someone's brushing them down, that type of thing. It's a it's a it's not as full service as on a call, obviously. But Pete's out to please. Like, he wants you to be comfy. He wants you to, you know, you just saved his life after all. So he's going to he's going to part the doors and usher everybody in just like, please. And sort of sort of motion one of his hands to just like, go in, go in, go in.

Let's do it. What time of day is it? Is it what time of day? What was I saying? I don't know. What time of day is this? I would say about the time you got there, it's it's noon on the 24th. OK, great. Round noon. So again, the city is at peak bustle. Nice. And as you walk in, there's a few people scattered around. There's this there's this human woman with long, dark hair. There is this this beautiful elven woman who was kind of draped on a couch in the back. And then there's this big mole guy, you know, big bald dude kind of strapping. Everyone's in some state of undress.

Not not in a lewd way, more of a putting the goods on display way. How dirty are they compared to the people outside? Surprisingly not dirty. Everything you're hearing is like, oh, it's budget. It's but so you expect you just you just expect grimy or sleazy or bug infested or something like that. And it's not it's it's it's it's not. So as as Pete ushers, everybody and they kind of perk up like, oh, customers, that type of thing. Then Pete comes in and the dark haired woman is going to speak up. How was the trip? Because more people than were expected are coming in the door.

Pete's going to say terrible. And he is going to grab a shot from behind the bar and just pound it. Everyone's dead. And then he is going to wave his arm back to the party. These are new people, people. And he's going to realize he doesn't know half of your names and never asked. Hey, hey, you know what? Given how many times that's happened to and PCs to NPCs, I'm glad it finally happened in reverse. Yeah. The number of times we've been like, shit, we never asked this person's name. They're very important. I'm glad I'm actually happy for him. Good for you, sleazy Pete, whose name I will never forget.

So he is going to he's going to start waving around the bar and he's going to point to the the the human with long dark hair. That's whisper. And he is going to point back towards the the the lovely, elegant elven lady. That's peaches. And he is going to walk up to the mall and smack him on the ass. And it's big Richard. Nice. I get it. I just got it. Dick, you big dick. That's good. Also, peaches is the name of our elderly neighbor. So thanks for that. OK, look, the character was written before I met that lady. That's not I'm not changing. The world doesn't change for other people.

Fun fact, peaches was my nickname in high school and I'm not making that up. I'm not making that up. That's like, oh, shit. Of course, you're from Georgia, because that's the reason our neighbors name is peaches. At least it wasn't big Richard. But my grandfather's name was Richard. I don't know. It sounds like a you problem. I'm assuming he's the one who gives the rub downs. Yeah, Mary's going to look at at at at at our buddy here at Pete. He's going to he's going to do it, put do his thumb over at the at the mule. Mule, mole, mole, mole, mule, mule slur.

I know. And he's going to say jellyfish. And OK, this mole barely flinches when his ass gets smacked. And then at the at the phrase jellyfish, he's going to smile and kind of gently nod his head like, yeah. And he is going to he's going to kind of point back towards a room and start start walking back there and kind of motion for motion for Merrick to follow. Merrick's going to drop his his mace and basically everything. And he's going to be like, you got this. He's going to look at Avalon. Yes, he's going to take off. Wait before you go. Yeah, Evelyn's going to like grab your arm.

He's going to look you in the eyes and he's going to say, tell me how it is. Oh, Mary's going to look deeply into Evelyn's eyes and he's going to he's going to clap him on the shoulder. I will. He's going to walk after a walk after Big Richard. Now, I want to be clear, this is not just being silly. He's actually trying to find ways to de-stress. And this is I assume. Right. Yeah. It's really like I get a full body, like deep tissue massage. This is actually what I need to do, especially now. Yeah, I knew that from the start. OK, just making sure it's not just trying to be.

Yeah, that was pretty clear, I think. OK, cool. So Richard's going to get to work and Pete is going to motion around the place. Everything here is well, yours. I suppose you're welcome to stay here for a few nights. You you might have to double up. There are only so many rooms. And he's going to he's going to kind of lean in and wink to the party. And of course, if you would like some company, I am sure we could work that out. And he's going to gesture back to the ladies that are still in in the place. Whisper is probably going to approach the party and ask if she could get anyone a beverage or anything like that.

Just just just trying to make you guys at home. Clara kind of like once they entered the building, she hung back a little bit. But when Whisper asks if they want a drink, she nods, but she doesn't say anything and she's clearly blushing. Ah. For someone who was so frank about it before, it's kind of like Elarath's point about the werewolf thing where it's like, yeah, in theory, it was fine. Right. And now we're here. Elarath has probably like not moved from like the one step that she took inside because she's just staring and everything just like, what the fuck?

And she's I don't know, she might be being like, are those titties? Are there titties out right now? And again, no one's exposed. It's more just like sheer nightgowns type of thing, like a very like, you know, but yeah, no one's exposed. It's not that kind of joint. You walk in, you see these half naked people. Marix does a couple of words, then it goes off with some dude. Dude named Big Dick. See ya. Yeah. See ya. So Clara would very much like she'd nod pretty big at like, does anyone want a drink? And yeah. Uh, Evelyn is going to shrug. He's going to say, I guess I'll have one.

What's the worst that can happen? And he's going to say, I guess I'll have one. And he's going to say, I guess I'll have one. And he's going to say, I guess I'll have one. And he's going to say, I guess I'll have one. So, yeah, so they have everything in their power to make you comfortable, right? So like if, if Alarath is still kind of like floating by the door or something like that, Peaches would probably at some point approach and try to just like, you know, not, not force anything on anybody, but just it's like, oh, do you want a drink? Do you want something to eat?

Why don't you, why don't you take a load off? Like that, that type of thing. Take your boots off. That type of thing. And she's like, oh, this is nice furniture. And she won't like actually like relax into it. She'll just sip whatever they hand her. Like, okay, thank you. Thanks. I would imagine at some point you are going to hear, not screaming, You're going to hear grunting and just kind of like, like that type of thing as Merrick's getting the full work over, right? Like, like there is the end result is going to be a very relaxed Merrick. But to get there, there's a little bit of pain.

I know, I hear you. But after a while, I'd say like a good hour. Maybe, maybe a good hour. Wow. Merrick, you are going to get all of your stress hit points back. You are back at 20. Yes! Thank you. Big dick. After that's all taken care of, Merrick is probably going to have to take a couple of minutes just laying there, which I imagine is probably part of the routine. And whenever he's able to stand up, he's going to, I also imagine that he's completely naked because it's just like, you know, strip, let's do this. Right. And he's going to just completely naked.

He's just going to hug big Richard to be like, thank you so much. And I would imagine he'd kind of wrap one arm around, just kind of like triple pat and that's it. Like, he probably gets this a lot. Like it's, it's a transformative experience. Yeah, he's going to, Merrick's going to have his eyes watering again to be that was amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. Yeah, he's going to, he's going to get, you know, get his armor back on, I guess, or whatever and head back out. And Big Richard would come out and offer his services to the next person.

Just kind of a who's next type of thing. Like really kind of like soft spoken, deep voice guy. Doesn't talk a lot, that type of thing. Wait, Merrick's going to go straight to Avalon. And he's going to put his, his hands on his shoulders and looking straight in the eye. He's going to be like, you're next. Avalon's going to like, he's gonna, he had a, he had a drink that was offered to him. So he's a little loosey goosey, more than normal. You know, he's a pretty weldy guy. Fun in all parties. But, um, he's gonna, he's gonna look up like the steely look in his eyes.

Like he resolved himself. He's going to nod. He's going to walk. He's going to give a big old dick the nod and walk right past him. Like he's walking to, like into like in a fire. Like it's real dramatic. And, uh, Richard would like crack his knuckles and just kind of like, just kind of like, all right, let's do this, that type of thing. And then shut the door. Amazing. After a while, I'd say another 30 minutes, something like that. Everyone's had some drinks. Everyone's, you know, probably a bite to eat, something like that. And you, you know, um, uh, Whispered Peaches would very gently, uh, probably proposition the group.

And I'm talking everyone, everyone that's out here, uh, it would probably like, Hey, you didn't want to go back to the room. We can get comfortable. You know, that type of thing. Uh, very, very roundabout, but you know what they're saying. Okay. So I feel like as soon as drinks were offered, Clara started drinking a little too much each time. Okay. And if anyone were paying attention, her eyes keep going to Whisper. Okay. And she hasn't really been speaking much. She's just been kind of like huddling near Ellorath, but she keeps like, especially if Whisper is looking for people.

Clara is not after like the third or fourth drink, she is not hiding the fact that she's looking at Whisper well. Right. Gotcha. And obviously, uh, in this business, I would imagine Whisper would pick up on that. It wouldn't take, it wouldn't take long. Um, so yeah, she would probably approach Clara like dead on. Ah. Um. And they just clear a spot off on the bar. You don't watch out for each other. There's so much more spit than you thought there would be too. Like a lot. Like a lot. Turns out that's her thing. Spit play is huge in the drought community. You know what just upset me is I made that up as a joke.

I'm sure it's a thing. Don't Google it. Don't Google it. Don't, don't do it. I feel like if she did offer, um, Clara would kind of look over to Elorath because Elorath was very outspoken about how gross. There's a thing. Okay. Elorath was very outspoken earlier about how gross this whole thing was. She's like, she's caught between a rock and a hard place. Literally. Because Whisper is very pretty. But Elorath is her best friend. So she's, and she's drunk enough that she would probably just come out and be like, "Elorath, um, I might go spend some time with Whisper.

Is that okay?" Oh. Okay. Uh, have fun? Question mark? Like she's not gonna shame you because she knows it happened. She's just like, the thought that people paid for it never occurred to her. So that's why she's like, "Oh, gross." And so it's the paying for it that is the gross part. Well, it's the act itself that's gross. Okay. But she's not gonna like tell, like, shame you for it. She's just like, "Oh, that's not for me, but have fun?" Yeah. And Clara looks like super nervous. Like she might even be shaking a little bit. But then she'll just nod and look over to Whisper and kind of give like this really awkward smile and then a very quick nod like, yeah.

And then she'll finish her drink before she stands up. And I would imagine that's another thing that anyone in this profession would probably be used to. It's either shyness or if you're getting checked out, you probably know it. That type of thing. Like, there's probably a lot of people who approach this and are very shy about this. If you're a first timer or something like that, like the entire thing just might catch people off guard a little bit. So very welcoming, warm smile. And as Clara stands up, Whisper would approach Clara and kind of very gently maybe take her hand and kind of wrap her arm around that type of thing very gently.

You are going to notice. Clara is going to notice right away. Whisper is very cool to the touch. Oh. Like it is. It's noticeable because when someone touches you, it's like, oh, OK, like you're used to that. The warmth of contact. This is very cool to the touch. Kind of soothing, though. OK. I don't. Here's the thing. I picture that there's a part of Clara that's drunk enough that she's like, oh, maybe I'm just overheated. Right. And that's where the cool of the touch is. Or maybe I'm just so nervous. Right. And then the rest of her is like, I don't care. Right. I just got enough courage to do this.

Let's go. I love Mary. Robot! I mean, I've been watching Westworld. Yeah, that's what it is. So, Clara and Whisper are going to adjourn upstairs to a private room. Meanwhile, Avalon is just getting the rub down of a lifetime. And I don't know how Avalon would react to this. Like, is this something like because Merrick has kind of pampered himself on the show before. Like, we know that, like Merrick might be the type of person that's like, hey, I enjoy the finer things when I have an opportunity to take advantage of them. Well, you see, unlike Merrick's time doing this, you know, he had like a lot of screaming.

There's like a lot of yelling. It's like the complete opposite. It sounds like someone died. OK. He's not making any noise. It's like it's kind of eerie. But like inside the room, like no one knows this, but he's purring like a goddamn cat. Like that. Yeah, he's one of those. What the hell kind of cat is that? It's an avalanche. Fluffy. Guys, I feel like I hate to do this, but I feel like it's probably a good time for us to stop for the evening. And start for the evening and get to DNR after dark. Well, there's your new split off show. And I guess that the next session, we're going to explore Brightport formally.

And you guys can take advantage of all kinds of stuff while you're in the city. I mean, you already started, but like, I mean, you know, we started the most important place. Yeah. I really hope no one bites me, like in a way that I didn't approve of. I am all for this episode. Lisa approves. I love it. I love everything about it. I just want to make that clear. It's not like me. No, I know. Yeah. I'm always worried that I'm going to make someone uncomfortable by having stuff like this in the show. And it's not, it's obviously nothing I want to roleplay out to in depth.

But like, I never want to make someone uncomfortable and stuff like that. At the same time, fuck them. Yeah. That too, I guess. So are we here? Oh boy. I think that's what Clara's doing. Oh. Man, I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. If you haven't yet, go to dandrpodcast.com and check out the trailer for Year of the Dragon. It is going to be a big live session we're doing at DragonCon. It's the first time we've ever done anything like this. We are going all out. Trust me, we just ordered hundreds of dollars of promotional materials and all kinds of fun little surprises for you guys who are going to be attending the event.

For you unable to go to DragonCon this year, we got you covered. The entire thing is going to be recorded and we're trying to see if we can stream the entire event while we're there. That might be a bit of a long shot though. Internet access is limited because there are 80,000 people. But we're going to give it our best shot. Living in Theory of this Month is going to be about resurrection. If you have a question about resurrection, we've been taking questions on our Discord server for the last few days. There are a ton of great questions. But if you do, if you kind of rarely pop on the Discord server, now's the time.

Go get us those questions. And let's see, what else are we doing this month? We got three brand new behind the scenes things. We just recorded a stinger that will take us into DragonCon that you guys might want to hear. We're working on that now. And yeah, we're just throwing up tons of behind the scenes stuff. So thank you all very much for your support. We really, really appreciate it. Obviously your iTunes reviews have been helping us out. If you haven't, maybe swing one by. Give us a five star review. Takes a couple seconds. Is a big help to the show. We really appreciate it.

Thank you guys. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode of DNR.