Outrunning Your Past

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(CLINKING) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators. Rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Mark 2, episode 47 of the D&R Podcast is brought to you today by Patreon.com/dandr. You lovely folks keep us funded and we want to repay you with a slew of awesome content from Dragon Con. All of our panels have been posted and we are in the process of posting raw footage from the con of each day that we were there.

All the behind the scenes stuff. Us preparing for the live show. Us just chit-chatting. Us getting dregs at the bar. Everything. So visit Patreon.com/dandr and check all of that out. Previously for Group B. After a heist gone bad, Callie, Braylin, and Tatiana come clean to the rest of the group. They strongly suggest that the group leave during Hollow and it's eventually decided that the team should head to Esterhold. Larg has a crisis of conscience and speaks with his mentor Ellen. After a lengthy discussion, Larg eventually decides to stay with the group and try to be its moral compass.

The team then packed up, took their two new donkeys Dusty and Rusty, and started heading south toward Esterhold. Let's do that thing where we go around the table to introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the dungeon master. Going around the table, starting with Jamie. Up first, up for a high. Hi, I'm Jamie, I play Tatiana the human rogue. And Jameson. Hey, it's Jameson, I play Larg the half-orc paladin. And Ian. Hey, I'm Ian, I play Cauldron Halec from the mountains, Ivory Peak. He's a half-elf sorcerer with just a little tweak. All his spells are ice and snow, winter's coming, gon' be bleak.

And he has a thing for dragons, but it's not sexual. I don't think. You know what? You asshole, you asshole! [Laughter] Tide's been rough enough. Which is why I was lighting it with a little rhyme, a little fun. A little windsy. I wanted to just Stone Cold and Cairne. Like, just, I wanted to... [Laughter] And Cairne! Hi, I'm Cairne, I play Callie the elven druid. [Laughter] Poor Cairne. And Alex! Hey, I'm Alex and I play Braelyn the halfling bard. And Valerie! Hello, I'm Valerie, and I play Elaina the human fighter. Okay. That's all I have in the tank, too, by the way.

So, look. This has been a long week. We just lost an hour of recording. I don't know what, I don't, like, I... If we get through this session and I find out the recording's, like, tainted somehow, or... Oh my god. I'll just reenact the whole thing and do all of y'all's voices. [Laughter] Now I want it to happen. [Laughter] That sounds amazing. [Laughter] Oh shit, then I gotta do that opening raff. Never mind. [Laughter] Don't worry. Scratch that. I wanna hear your Mii impersonation. I wanna still be friends, so, no. I don't... Ah, okay. No, no, it's not, it's...

That didn't hurt at all. No, no, no, no, no. Jamie, I would do you a disservice 'cause your voice is so beautiful. Aww, thanks, Jason. [Coughing] You got out of the fire. Alright, let's do it. [Laughter] You are heading south. You left the little town of Durran Hollow and all the problems there behind. Your two trusty donkeys, Dusty and Rusty, are pulling your little cart down south toward the city of Esterhold. Is there anything you guys would like to chit chat about? It is the 25th of Yesty. I put it at around 1, 2 o'clock in the afternoon, somewhere in there.

Is there anything you guys would like to do before we simulate some time here? Nah, just, it's been a while. Feels like it's been a hundred years. [Laughter] It does. Stretch our legs out, I guess? I don't know. Well, in the recording that was lost, you guys kind of talked about the fact that as an adventuring party, you haven't made a lot of cash. I don't know what you guys are talking about. I'm like, docked right now. Are you flush? And I don't know how. That's good to know. I don't remember what happened. When did we get gold? Don't tell Tatiana that. Well, Tatiana procured us a lot of gold.

We just burned, some of us burned through it real fast. You know what? If you're going to bring it up more than once, then obviously it loses its "I'm the good guy" value. [Laughter] But we lost that recording, so now it's the first time that all the listeners are here. Yeah, so it's a wound I can keep digging into. I can go back to that well. The other one wasn't canon, so like we can't. I'm going to shoot you with the vicious shortbow. [Laughter] Spicy. Oh, man. So here's what we're going to do. We are going to simulate a little time here. And I would imagine you guys are every couple of hours probably taking a break, stretching your legs, you know, getting a drink, refilling your water skins, all that good stuff.

Was there any, before you had left Durnhollow, was there any like down home comfort, something that you wanted to bring with you on the road? Because you had a really rough time between the areas, well between the first of yesterday when you started out and where you got to. I was trying to think of a time where you weren't getting your ass beat. [Laughter] Ever since you left, was it Fair Bay? Yeah. We should have never left Keyenne. [Laughter] It's pretty much been downhill since then. But like was there something like you guys knew you were going to hit the road, you're in Durnhollow, it's like man I'm going to get these candies or I'm going to pick this up.

This will be a nice little treat to have on the road. Anything like that? I remember, yeah, thank you for reminding me because I remember we bought some booze just like in a little sack that I handed off. We bought some social lubrication because there were things we needed to, dirty laundry we needed to air, blah, blah, blah, that kind of stuff. So yeah, got some like, just some like mellow stuff though, like just a good whiskey or something. Just a little mint. Yeah, like a sweet honey mead or something. Right. That brings up an interesting question here.

How many of you would be drinkers? Basically would there be any of you that would completely abstain from drinking? Well that is a no. It's like a fun occasion, sure, but I don't understand the question. Like all the time? Like oh we're on the road, let's fucking get crunk. No, no, no, no. I more meant was there any of you that approach it from a moral thing of like, oh I don't want to dull my senses ever. Like I didn't know if there was anyone like that in the party. No, Largs doesn't, he kind of is careful around it, but he doesn't not, you know, drink if it's offered to him.

Okay, sweet. Alright. So let's simulate a little time here. Let's say it's around six or seven. You guys have been on the road now for hours. And you guys are going to stop and I would imagine like you're probably eating maybe a really early dinner or something like that. Just grabbing a bite. You're famished. Would one of you please do me a favor and roll a perception check for me? Should be Valerie right? She has hot hands. I think so. Let's do it Val. Okay, perception? Yes. Yes. Okay, I'm sorry. I've already forgotten what's going on. No, you're fine. It's been- Wow!

Holy shit! Wow! Is this a little bit of grit for everyone at all? Very, very good. So, Elena. Elena is kind of sitting here with her mess kit, right? Which is, you can always tell who was properly trained or has some sort of background as a soldier or something like that because it's either a military thing or you've been trained to do this. You can eat out of sacks or something like that. Like quick lunches like bread or cookies, baked goods, that type of thing. But very few people have mess kits. They actually have a little metal pan they're eating off of.

It's kind of a learned habit because you've got to clean it up afterwards and most people just don't want to deal with it. I picture Elena eating off this and sitting on the ground, she's going to notice that there seems to be a lump underneath your cart. Ew. Wait, what do you mean like on the ground underneath it or like underneath it from the top? It's kind of like clinging to the bottom of your cart. It looks like where most carts are wagons, you kind of see the axles and stuff and there's kind of a flat bridge underneath. It's meant to just kind of clear the ground.

This looks like, you know, you see the donkeys and they're doing their thing, probably getting a drink, maybe you're feeding them. And then you look under the cart and you're like, it just kind of catches your eye like, "That's weird." It looks like there's like a lump, something clinging to the bottom of it. Hmm. So the first thing Elena is going to think is that somehow, like, an animal got stuck under it or like it's just... Like you ran over something? I don't know, or like it's just like hitching a ride. So she's probably not going to say anything to anyone because it's not necessarily a big deal.

But she's sort of going to like put her food down and take out her sword, go up to the cart and sort of lean over and like poke her sword at it. OK, so the rest of the party is going to watch Elena, you know, gradually get up, put her food aside, draw her sword and move toward the cart and then start poking under the cart. What would everybody else be thinking? Something wrong, Elena? Our cart might have a tumor. What? Sorry. She should be like... No, they're called mules. Mules. She's going to say there seems to be something like stuck under here. I can't really see it from this angle, though.

Can you hack it off? I mean, I'm just worried it's something like living. I don't want to accidentally stab it. No, no, no. If it's living, you should kill it for sure. Jason, how high is the cart off of the ground? Not very. It's got some clearance, but it's probably a little over a foot off the ground, something like that. Probably like a foot and a half, somewhere in there. OK. Did you say you poked it with the sword or are you just having this conversation first? Well, I'd imagine it's sort of happening at the same time. OK. So, Elena's going to kind of prod the slump and the first time, nothing's really going to happen.

And the second time, you're going to hear... Oh, hell no. Kill it. Stop it. Kill it. Oh, no. Is that what Elena would do? No. Elena is going to back up a little bit from the cart and have her sword still pointed at the object and say really menacingly, "Come out now." So for a couple of seconds, you're not going to hear anything. And then you're going to hear like a rustling, like a like a wriggling underneath the cart. And you're going to hear what sounds like someone undoing a belt. And then this blanketed figure is going to fall to the ground and kind of go, "Oh!" And frantically get this burlap covering off of him.

And he's going to start to very slowly, like on his hands and knees, come out from the bottom of the cart. Please, please don't kill me. I can explain everything. Just strop. God damn it. Crossover time. Oh, damn. Elena is going to still keep her sword pointed at him and say, "What are you doing here?" So this guy, he's got this long, dark hair and this kind of pointy goatee going on, covered in tattoos. And there's a tiny, tiny wound. You could see he's kind of wearing this frilly white shirt type of deal. And you could see on his side, right around where your spare tire would be if you got one, he's got a little nick where it's bleeding.

And that's from that's from Elena's sword. I... OK. I need you to ride with me on this. Just just just a moment. Brailin, I saw your performance. I knew I needed to get close to you. Please just hear me out. Oh, Brailin is going to look very confused. Do what now? And he's going to scoot forward on his knees. Like still, he's kind of like in like a begging position. It's like, "Russell, Russell, Russell." He's going to like scoot forward towards Brailin. Oh, Elena is going to like immediately like stop him and say, "Don't move." OK, OK, OK. Brailin, I... Your performance was absolutely breathtaking.

I... I need to learn from you. Please. Would you teach me? Brailin is going to be very shocked. His face is going to be like eyes wide, mouth kind of like crooked. I'm not exactly a teacher per se. He's going to look around at everyone else's faces. Oh, Kalden is smiling so hard. Tatiana too. She's like smiling and nodding. He's he's going to... He's again hands in the air, very like, "Please don't stab me." But he's he's going to kind of like just give it like a half scooch. Oh, you sell yourself short. Those peasants, they wouldn't understand a good performance if it bit them.

No one appreciated you like I did. I was just I was too nervous to approach you then. But please. I didn't mean to sneak. I just I didn't know how to approach you. I thought that maybe you'd be besieged by so many fans that I would just be another face in the crowd. I can't I can't risk that. I need you to teach me. I've always wanted to be a bard, but well, my parents wouldn't allow it. And he's going to look down like he's in deep shame. That's yeah. Brelin hears that. When he hears that the first part where he said no one they don't understand those peasants, his face changes from crooked smile to like, "Oh, yeah, like tell me more." And then when he hears the parents part, it's like deep sigh and I look at the group and he'll kind of whisper under his breath.

Rule number one, don't pick up anybody. And then I say, well, look, look, my my foreign friend. What's what's your name? Sydney. Sydney. That's a beautiful name. Good name. Strong name. He's going to he's going to hold a hand up to his heart. Oh, thank you. And of course, he's going to look at Elena and kind of like motion like it's fine. You don't have to be in front of him. Just like motion his hand like it's cool. It's cool. She's not going to move. She's going to look at you and look at everyone else who seems to be like enjoying this. And she's she's going to say, am I the only one concerned here?

No, Elena, you're right. This man did arrive here strapped to the bottom of our cart with a belt and a burlap sack. Perhaps you can explain that. Yes. Please accept my deepest apologies. I I've embarrassed myself and worse yet, I have embarrassed myself in front of the great. When he hears a smile, he chuckles. My my feeling is, though, I needed to sneak on board. Your mode of transportation was not born of any ill intent, but deep seated shyness and fear. Please, my lady. And he is going to be speaking directly to Elena. I mean, you and your party, absolutely no harm.

I would gladly try to prove myself to you in any way, shape or form I could. So Jamison, you got to say that out loud now. I just I'm picturing this guy wearing an Adidas tracksuit, which is amazing. He's fashionable and unique. It's going to give Jamie a second to talk. Yeah. Well, you got to handle my fan now. That's what I really like about Elena is like there's these moments where like things seem so obvious to her and to no one else. It's your reaction to most like the most logical way. It's like this fucking creep was strapped to our fucking car for hours.

Like, ah, he seems cool. I mean, he's cool. I just like that I have basically a fan who's willing to die for me. That's fine. That's great. Kalden will look at him and he'll say, well, all right, do you have an instrument? Let's hear you play. If you want to audition for the great Breland and be good enough to have him take you on as a pupil, we surely have to hear what raw talent you possess. And then if Breland decides that it's good enough and he'll turn to Breland and like give a little wink, we go from there. Play us a tune. Well, I suppose I could, but it won't be up to Breland's great standards, you understand.

I'm a mere novice. And he is going to slowly kind of reach in. He's got like this fanny pack and he's going to reach into this fanny pack and he's going to pull out an instrument. Please say recorder. It is the Therian equivalent of a recorder. It is it's called the Kolov and it is essentially it is the most it's what children would play. It's yeah. Isn't that what Dekky was playing too? Well, he was kind of playing a flute like. OK, OK. A stolen dead man's flute. Yeah. He was just playing it very badly. So here's the thing. I'm going to roll a flat D 20 and I'm going to see how well how well Sydney plays this flute.

This little recorder. Oh, my God. Yes, yes, I'm here for it. Yes. His heart and soul. Tatiana is in tears after this performance because it is so beautiful. Yeah, Larg claps after he's done. Like straight up. Breland stops his like puts his hands like, no, no, no, no, pulls his hands down. But if he doesn't look away, he continues to look at Sydney and reaches a pause at large. No, stop, stop, stop. So Sydney is going to play the entirety of Coming to America on his recorder and he got a crit. So this is for such a simplistic instrument. He is managing to pull off notes and chords that he should not be able to.

Like he's doing shit with his hands, like with a harmonica where he's like covering the end of it. And like he's doing all kinds of shit. It's like, how are his hands that fast to like go up and down? And he's just playing his heart out. OK, I have some questions for DM Jason. Sure. Hit me. What race and age does this young, miraculous angel appear to be? He is a half elf. He appears to be in his early 30s, probably around 32, 33. OK, so when he's finished, I'm just going to push past Elena and I even care and grab him by his shoulders or as close as I can.

I say, Sydney, you're a goddamn genius. I can't teach you anything. You already know the first few steps. That instrument is a handicap. And yet you play it as if it were made by the finest dwarven smiths. I couldn't possibly teach you. But what I can give you is this. And I give him like, you know, the thing that we had where I put it around my mouth when we were like this, like the stinky places? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to pull out like this is my lucky bandana. I've worn this in the most dire situations, even in dire performances. I just forgot to wear it back there.

You take this and you go back there and you play exactly how you play for me. And I guarantee you, they'll be able to see your genius and reconsider my genius. And I'm going to hand it. I'm going to hold up to him. He is going to with a single tear rolling down his eye. He is going to gently reach out and take this bandana. I cannot thank you enough. I. This is like a dream come true to me. I, I watched you playing the bar and I that song. I, I was a little lost on where America was, but I really, really gravitated toward that. It just touched me in the heart.

Right. I was going to shh and put a finger up to his mouth. Sidney, you're wasting your breath and time here. There are crowds who need to hear you. Go back there and show them what a potential pupil of Brelinga can do. And they're going to give him a wink as if to say like, yeah, you can tell him I taught you. Oh, he's going to stand up kind of emboldened and kind of give a look to Elena just to make sure that like he's not going to get stabbed. And he's going to reach down and hug Brelin. I'll hug him back, but like very gingerly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, thank you so much, Brelin. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Oh, oh, I mean, I, I obviously can't go back to Durnhollow now, but where are we going? I could accompany you. I could, I can shine boots. I can, I'll pay my way somehow. But we appeared to be heading south. I'm going to cast charm person immediately when he starts saying this. Good, because I was just going to yell at him. I need him to make a wisdom saving throw, please. Oh, God. Okay. Let's check this out. Do do do do do do do do. What's his wisdom? I see my spell safety also. Oh, what's your DC?

My spell safety is a lot. Combat. What the fuck is it? I should be on my, I should be on the spell, right? Yeah, you're your front page. 14. 14. Okay. His wisdom is 11. So this is roll high, Sydney. No, Sydney, roll low. Yeah, roll low. Oh, he got one! It super worked! 20 and then the crit won. Wow. Okay, so I envision charm person basically saying, Oh, where are we going next? And I'm going to mumble under my breath. I'm going to say I'm going to mumble the tune of, uh, I've never done charm person before, have I? Have you not? Never done it successfully? Maybe not.

Yeah. Yeah. Successfully. You've tried. Let me go to my Braille playlist that I made for myself. Hell yeah. Oh, shit. Braille and gems volume two because we are in season two. I'm going to mumble under my breath the words to don't speak. No doubt. And then when I finish, I'm going to look at his face. I'm going to back up and look at his face to see if it worked. I mean, okay. So charm person essentially just makes him a friendly acquaintance, which he already was. I just convince him to do things that would not be harmful to him. Yeah. He's just more so he's just more susceptible.

That's about it. Yeah. Just your your influential, which again, like it just ratchets it up a little bit. Like, let's say the bandana and everything like that. It just it just really hit him. So he had no he had no defense against your charms. Okay. So once I see this thing in effect, I'm going to remind him, Sydney, you do the people of Durnhalle in injustice. But not showing them what a potential people of mine is capable of. You need to bring honor to my name in that town. And there's no one I trust more than you to do that. He's going to he's going to look down a little saddened that he can't accompany you guys on on your adventure.

But I understand. Would it be all right if perhaps I started in Albury? Yes, Sydney. That would be fine. Oh, thank you. I would not want to go back to Durnhalle, but I could start a new I can entertain the masses of Albury. Oh, I can't thank you enough. Thank you. I promise you I will make you proud, Bladen. Of course. You already make me proud when I when I heard you play that instrument. Just do me one small favor. If you can't, he's going to look around to see who's who's closest to me and Sydney. Who's it like in Super Elena? Probably Elena. We're going to we're going to deal with that afterwards, but I'm going to whisper as if just tell them I taught you some of what you know.

I'm sorry. Sorry, I said just tell them I taught you some of what some of what you know. And he's going to he's going to lean down like like like out loud. No, no, no, no. When you perform out there and they ask you. Oh, well, you have OK, the inspiration from anything I would play. Awesome. Keep it up. He's going to give him the finger guns. Oh, yeah. He is going to tell everyone that you get the sense of like he's going to tell everyone he knows that like Brailens the guy like he's he's like a cover band version. He's like Gallagher to like he's just he just want man.

That was a joke for no one. I got it. I got it. No one under the age of 30. I'm sorry. You hit the right demo. Yeah, he's going to yeah, he's going to mention your name at every set everywhere. Anyone who would listen. Great. And with that, he would probably he would probably pick up his little blanket thing and he would be constantly like, thank you, thank you. And just like waving to everybody and wishing you luck. And he's going to turn on his heels and head back the way he came up the road. OK, bye. When he's like out of eyesight and ear shot brilliant. That could have been way worse.

Strange little man, but Master Brailen. Well, I mean, I can't have someone playing better than me and not say that he'd learn from me. That would come on. Fucking 20. That was just that was so good. I hope he's OK. It's fine. We didn't run into anything on the way here is fine. Imagine, like after he finally disappears over the horizon, we're all just kind of sitting around a fire eating. And then after like a full minute of silence, like just goes. That was weird. Colton is like humming the song that he played coming to America. We're coming to America. Is this a song I'm supposed to know?

It's a Neil Diamond song. Probably not. Yeah. Neil Diamond sounds familiar. That's about it. You ever watch Born in East L.A. Shiny jackets. No, of course not. How about a Saving Silverman? What? No, I've never heard of any of these things. Valerie's 12. You're 21 now. Twenty one confirmed been enough for a Saving Silverman. Is this a movie? Yeah. How many central all the time? It's literally they probably have it on right now. It's like they have a tape somewhere like shit. We have nothing to air. Saving Silverman. They should go stand up. Put one of those in. Like Sarah Silverman.

No, no, no. I've literally never heard of this. Valerie, you are constantly my test to see if I'm cool and I fail every single time. Oh, actually, I'm like super not cool. Some kids these days, I don't understand what they're doing. They FaceTime all the time and I'm like, wait, do you want to be seen? I don't get it. It's like I stay home so I don't so people don't have to look at me. But now I have to be home and people look at me like, oh, no, thanks. Nowhere is safe. There's a lot to unpack there. Kids these days. Let's start with that. Let's start with that.

Let's start with kids these days and get off my lawn. Well, I literally aged 10 years. Do you realize in our last session you said I don't have time for fantasy anymore? Wait, what? You said that. What does that mean? I don't know. You were talking about like how busy you are with college stuff. It's like, y'all, I don't have time for fantasy anymore. It's like, oh, wow, that killed my inner child. Yeah, that sounds about right actually. My whimsy. Like you would murder Peter Pan with that. I'm just anywho. What a strange, lovely but strange man. And now we're officially done with the negatives of my performance.

I don't know, man. I sense a swim fan coming. No, no, he has another movie. Sorry, sorry. I don't know. Millennial equivalent. Slenderman. Yeah, there you go. Oh, not even close. Oh, my God. We in a fucking forest. I'm your biggest fan. This by the way, this scene that just happened was by far more entertaining and plot heavy than Slenderman the entire movie. I want to props you to Jason. That voice was bomb. I'm sorry. I hope that it comes back. I hope not. Excuse me. Well, there's a team heading towards Aubrey. I the way you handled that interaction is greatly going to influence things down the down the pike.

He's not because he's a nutso. He's not a bad nutso. He's like borderline. He could have been a bad nutso, but you pulled him off the edge, man. That's right. Well, listen, there's no way he wasn't a vampire. He had a frilly shirt. It's true. Oh, shit, you're right. And the long hair, the shark. Damn, but he didn't burn. It's true. He didn't. Not all vampires. Yeah. So let's deal. Are you guys you guys continuing down the road a little bit than making camp for the night? That type of thing. I would say that's fair. Yes. All right. Quick question. Hit me. Where are we going?

Excellent question. Why? Excellent question. Yeah, that was on the part that got erased, wasn't it? Ian, I forgot. Kord, the last session we had, we were talking about and I made a pretty big poll to go to Astor Holt to see if we can rally the paladins of Kord to help us maybe retake Durn Hollow, if that's the case, or maybe help just like get people back back there. Donhurst? Donhurst. Yeah. And there's a little there's a little dragon cult. Well, as far as we know, there was an egg, a lady with an egg that went there. That was the other. That's the other reason.

Oh, cold. Go there. And we talked about trying to find a healer, right? For your arm. Right. Yeah. And there was some blood. There was some like blood root talk and like see if because we couldn't get it in Durn Hollow. And we're trying to reverse Kali's spell if we can find someone who knows about it. Yeah. We're juggling a lot of plates. So again, again, how is this any different than other group B sessions? You guys got a lot going on. We have plenty of irons in the fire. You guys have a lot of half started quests. So is there anything you guys would like to talk about while you make camp?

You got the fire crackling. It is a gorgeous spring night. So it's around it's around like 60 degrees at night. Like it's it's it's cool without being too cold. It's really refreshing, actually. Great sleeping weather. Kaladin mentioned something about unpacking some things. Like our bed our bed rolls and our mask kits and. Yeah, well, I do have I have a question. Well, I have a question for Jason, but I think it would be funneled through Kali. But basically, is there like an herb or drug in Theria that's sort of like the equivalent to ayahuasca? Like you like it's something that you take to sort of detach from the normal feeling of existence, try and like open you up to.

Oh, to tribbles? You basically. Yeah. Fuck yeah. But to like but one that's sort of like geared towards like a spiritual. Higher consciousness. Arcane experience. Yeah. So like you're you're looking for some leave your body shit. Yeah. So, OK, there's an herb called to poem, which is. It's a little rare, but can be found in a lot of forested areas. How do you spell that? Oh, hold on. Let me look up my notes, because I know the pronunciation, but not the not the spelling because there's a little accent. Gotcha. Paul sounds to poem just read to poem. No. I remember just enough French to understand all of that.

I'll get back to you because I got to look up what the what the fucking accents name is to touch. OK. Yeah. I'll get back to you. Oh, poem to poem. Please go on what you were about to describe it. So it's essentially an it's kind of an offshoot of an urban fungus. Like you can find it in a lot of like heavily forested areas where places where you don't get a lot of sunshine at all, kind of damp ground. It gets you'll find it growing there. It can be tough to track down, but it's common enough that like if you're near a forested area, it wouldn't hurt to look around.

There's a lot of stories circulating it like naturalists in the world who only who only go with herbs and stuff like that for medicine. They don't they don't believe in magic to cure things. So there's all kinds of stuff that like, oh, it's they swear by it because it's it's it, you know, it helps you find your sound that your center and yourself and it helps you see things that normally you wouldn't be able to see. It can be somewhat addictive if you perpetually do it, like if you do it over and over again, it can be it can be a need. Let's say you have the equivalent of a bad like a really bad trip.

It can fracture your psyche slightly. It wouldn't be much fun if it didn't do that. Right. But what happened to Britney Spears? I don't know. That's a whole long thing I could get into it later with you offline, Valerie. She didn't really lose it anyway. We should play D&D. It's a long thing. Wow. You just opened a box. You don't even know. But yeah, it is mostly it's just basically if you take it, you're no good for the evening. Like you're not going anywhere, doing anything. Right. It's like an event, basically. Yeah. And it's good to have spotters. It's not something I would suggest the entire party do at once.

Okay, excellent. Or. We're not in that story. Or. If you want to have an interesting evening, you can. Kalden will like turn to Callie and just sort of like bring that up in conversation, something along the lines of, "Hey, Callie, I know that you're good with herbs. And I was thinking, well, if we I know we've got a lot on our plate, but if we ever get back to the silver glade, I was wondering if there's something, some plant or herb or fungus that could help me expand my horizons while I'm there. Something to maybe get myself connected to the energy that's flowing through there.

I know it's a very old and very magical place. I want to be open to everything. Do you know of anything like that? Sorry, I was just making sure I was unmuted. So yeah, Callie, I would just like explain a lot to you. Is that something that I would typically have like in an herbalism kit? I would not. It's not something you probably have on you, but you definitely know what it is, how to get it and what it does. Okay. So she'll just say I can keep an eye out for it if you want. It's a little rare, but not something that like we have to go somewhere special for.

Now, have you ever done it? Oh, I'm going to roll a daze. Okay. Oh, okay. Ewins, yes. Oh yeah. She super did it. I invented it. She's done it right now. Very good, Jamison. That's funny. I imagine that when you're on something like this, like crazy shit happens. So she's just going to like, she's going to get a big smile and say, yeah, I've done it before. Well, Kalden's eyes will widen a little bit. And he was like, well, what was it like? Did you see anything? Did you hear anything? I heard a lot. You're very connected to the things around you. I felt like I was at least.

So it was a very good bonding experience for me with nature. You did it alone, not with someone with you? My sister was with me, so it wasn't all alone, but yeah, it's definitely not something you want to do on your own. Well, yeah, my hope is, well, once we have everything behind us, we can enter the Silver Glade together. Then I won't be alone. I'll have you. Yeah, I can keep an eye on you. I'd really appreciate that. Thank you. That means a lot. No worries. I have a quick question. Is Elena close enough to hear this conversation? I pictured as you guys all kind of doing the campfire thing.

Yeah, this is not a secret conversation either. This is like all sitting around just. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So if you want to be, absolutely. So Elena's going to hear this and once again, she's going to be so confused about what's going on around her. And she's going to look at Kaladin and wait, Kaladin was the one talking. Nope. Yep. Kaladin was. Okay, sorry. She's going to look at Kaladin and she's going to say, "You want to get really, really high in a place that is known for killing people." Yes. Damn right he does. And Kaladin will blink at her a little bit and be like, "But long ago before it was a place filled with just murderous creatures, it was a home to people, a home to a clan of elves most specifically.

That was a long, long time ago, but it used to be a place where people lived. Things still live there now. Wilden still live there." And also, things that will kill you. Well, that's true, but there's a lot of things that can kill us just wandering around from town to town. Besides, I'll have all of you. We'll be fine. You want me to go into a forest that is known for killing people and watch you get really, really high. When you say it like that. Yeah, Kaladin will bite his lip and furrow his brow and he's like, "Oh, yeah, okay." And then he'll say, "Yes, there's dangers in the Silverglade, that's for sure, but there is knowledge there.

There is discovery there." Not a lot of people can go in there for the exact reasons that you have said. And we could be the first to discover something new, learn something new, treasure, knowledge, history, all of those things that we can bring back into the world. It would be a monumentous expedition. Plus you'd get super fucked up. And we'd get really high, which is... Tatiana, are you in also? I mean, we can find two doses. Totally in. Kaladin's going to look at the two of them and be like, "Maybe we should do a test run before we get to the Silverglade." I'm okay with that.

I mean... When we get to a town, maybe we'll just take a night off and see how you guys react. Yeah, we need someone with a strong, healthy body to make sure we have a good dose. I nominate Larg. I look right at him. What? Good call, Breland. Good call. What? That's interesting. Do you think that this Ta-Palm could get you closer to conversation with the deities of the world? Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure. I mean, I'd be in the front seat to an Arathis convention for sure. That'd be something like... Definition of peer pressure. Just looks really confused and concerned, just looking between everybody.

You know what? We've got a lot to do between now and then. And Kal, you're right. Maybe a test run is good. Let's not worry about it now. I was just curious. And I didn't mean to scare you, Elena. We can make sure that we take precautions so that it's not just you against the forest. Oh, I'm not scared. I just think it's a really stupid idea. You're not wrong. But I want to be able to shed this fleshy body and see if I can tap into any of those old, old energies there. The magic that has been gone from this world for a long, long time, it's going to take a little push outside of my comfort zone, I think.

You already shed one fifth of your fleshy body so far, and Brannon will point to the stump. Get it back. Exactly what he said. Energies and shit. So Elena, you know, she's a fighter. She doesn't have any magic. She doesn't really get it. Like she knows it's real because she's seen it happen, but it's still kind of like, yeah, but maybe there's something else going on. So like all of this, she's like, this is way too like hokey pokey for me. She she's going to be like, OK, yeah, whatever. I'm going to go to bed because that is how you disconnect from your mind.

You know, like a normal person. Good night, everybody. And she's sort of just going to like walk off and get in her bedroll and lay down. I don't know, Elena's turning in. Do you want us to keep it down or? No, do whatever you want. We'll keep it down. Yeah, we should be quiet. So that was a buzzkill. No. Would anyone else like to do anything before turning in for the evening? No, I don't have anything to do. I think so. Callie's going to go over to Tatiana and she's going to have like one of her hands behind her back and she's going to go up to Tatiana. She's going to pull her hand out.

She's going to have one of Tatiana's arrows. She's going to say, "I borrowed this while we were in town because I was practicing something and I wanted to show you for future reference. Is Tatiana's quiver near her?" I mean, I would think so. She has a tendency to keep all of her belongings very close. Okay, so she is going to reach over to Tatiana's quiver and she's going to cast flame arrows on them. And so now her whole quiver is flaming arrows. What? That's crazy. Yeah. So I just, sorry I took one of your arrows, but I wanted to practice. Tatiana is wide-eyed and is just looking at these flaming arrows and she's like going back and forth between the arrows and Callie and the arrows and Callie and she's going to be like, "You don't have to apologize.

You can take my shit whenever you want if it equals firing arrows." I liked the idea that we had at the tower in Don Hurst and I wanted to make it a little easier on us. That is such a good idea. Seriously, you are so smart. And she's going to pull out one of these arrows and sort of like look at it closer and be like, "How exactly did you figure this out?" So I have obviously my flame hand thing that I do and I just tried to focus on turning that energy or moving that energy from my hand into the arrows and it just kind of got a little easier the more I tried.

That's so cool. Well thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Hopefully this will help us later on. I mean I'm hoping we don't have to use it, but you never know. Yeah, it doesn't last very long, but I think it would be enough if we got into a little scrape of your guns. That's brilliant. Brilliant rushes in. That's copyrighted. TM, TM, TM. That is so cool though. Yeah, I just wanted a way to bring that up. This is bomb, seriously. So anything else before sleepy times? I have a question. Sydney. Did we ever find out that guy's name? Sydney. Oh yes we did, sorry.

Never mind. I only remembered because Sydney is like Australia and his accent was definitely not Australian. No. Oh wait, it wasn't? It wasn't Australian? No. Where am I thinking of then? It was a lot of things, but none of them from Australia. Hi, Australian listeners. Both of you. No, good day. Good day. Oh, they'll probably get that a lot. I'm so sorry. It's much earlier here. Okay. So you guys are going to turn in for the night and we'll advance time a bit. Hey, here's a fun question. What's everyone's passive perception? That's not fun. What the fuck are you talking about?

Who would be staying up for our rounds? Well, let's roll a d6. My passive perception is 17 guys. I got a 12. So let's say it's Tatiana shift and Callie's a light sleeper. So I picture a stand by me situation, right? Where like, you know, the group is, they went to sleep and you guys are taking turns and it's Tatiana shift. So she's kind of like hunkered down next to a tree. Just keeping it on the road and listening out for anything that might be coming from the woods. And you're going to hear rusty and dusty. You're going to hear like a, like a, like you're going to hear them kind of like not they're not agitated or whatever, but you're to hear like more noise.

It's going to kind of like break the silence. I imagine you hear crickets and stuff and then you hear that. And like the first couple of times you probably don't pay it too much mind. And then the third or fourth time it's like, wow, okay, what is doing that? Right. And I probably pick, I probably picture because Tatiana knows everyone's asleep. She is probably doing something weird, like picking her fingernails with her dagger or something. And then like after the third or fourth time, she's like getting annoyed by the donkeys and was like, Oh my God, what is going on?

And if you, if you, I imagine you kind of have to like get up a little bit and like it's like, what the hell is going on over there? Maybe next to your cart are three drow. There looks to be a female kind of, you know, very slender build in the back of the cart, sort of leaning up against it, very much looking at the party. And one of the, the other two are male. They're they're in heavier, slightly heavier armor. One of his, one of them is just petting. One of your, one of your donkeys looks to be dusty. And the other one is just sort of backing that guy up, just standing there looking at them, like maybe curious, but like doesn't want to touch the donkeys.

Is anyone near by like sleeping? Like if Tatiana were to stand up and walk over to the donkeys, would she be near anybody else? I would say with the layout, you're probably nearest to Bralin. Okay. And then she is going to probably like, like kick Bralin and like, just like, sort of like nudge him with her foot and she'll address the drow. Excuse me. Hello. What are you doing here? Randomly in the dark. And she'll hold out her dagger forward towards them. Oh, oh, really gets up. He'll see the drought and then he'll instantly reach for the vicious Sharpo he's at.

And he's going to pull back on one of the arrows. Callie's going to hear this and wake up immediately. Like this is just like, just as the first time someone speaks, it's like, "Oh, I'm up." Like just very, very light sleeper. I imagine it's also like one of those things that she just like pops right up to. She's just like, like... Right. Callie's probably a morning person. Oh, totally. Yeah. I can't identify with that. But you know, the female drow is going to, again, it's still leaning against this cart very nonchalant. It's going to hold up, going to hold up a hand.

Calm down. I was just admiring the view. The two guys are going to sort of circle around, they'll stop petting the donkey and just kind of like, so they're ever so slightly, there's kind of a pincer attack. They're kind of flanking, but not hardcore flanking. You know what I mean? They're going to velociraptress is what you're describing. They're going to clever girl you. I'm trying to decide if I want Tatiana to be sassy or not. I think in the circumstances, she will not be sassy. Don't tell me to calm down. It's the middle of the fucking night and you just randomly show up at our camp.

She's going to stop leaning on the cart at this point. Like kind of taking this like a little more seriously standing up. There's no need to be rude. I was going to wait till morning, you know. To? Oh, and she is going to point to Braylin and Kaladin. Those two need to come with us. She's going to kick Braylin again. He's still awake. He's like, I'm awake. Jason, Callie wants to start moving towards like Larg and like Elena to try to wake them up. I, yeah, that go right ahead. Yeah. Okay. I would say another line or two and I would say everyone's kind of getting up now.

Okay. Well, when she says the name Braylin and Kaladin, or when she points to us, they say, I'm sorry lady. I don't go anywhere with strangers. She's got a smile, like a real wide smile. Like that's, that's, that's really funny. Well, you have a former business partner that is very upset with you. Now, it's not my job to suss that out. That would be her job. My job is to bring you to her. I have to say you two have been very elusive. Took us a while to really track you down. Hmm. Interesting. I look, Braylin's going to look behind him. Is everyone awake? I would say by this point, everyone's getting their stuff about getting their wits about them.

It's just me and Larg, right? We're awake. Okay. He's going to look, he's going to look to Kaladin because I'm assuming you're hearing what's happening and you can, you can see where, where I am. Right? I got dark vision. Okay. Tell me if I, if I'm assuming too much here, Jason and Ian, but in this situation, this lady's talking that we both have a former business employer and she's pointing at us. I'm going to look to Kaladin and hopefully he's looking at me. Yep. Okay. Then I'm going to nod. And so, so we don't medigate this. What do you think I'm going to do?

Call it and you'll have one, one shot at the duty of my mind. I think you're going to go invisible. So he's going to look at Kaladin and nod. And put the ring on. And he's going to wait. He's going to wait for confirmation. Oh, Oh, Oh God. Gotcha. Yeah. Call the, call the, no, call them. They'll give him a nod to that's why, that's why I made you guess. Cause if you got it wrong, then I'll be still do it. And then we'd all be in this shit being confused like that. I love it. Yeah. So after they get stood out back, he'll look at her and say, well lady, now I definitely don't want to hang out with you.

And then he's gonna invisible, invisible, invisible. And then talk to you as Tatiana is going to say pretty damn elusive. Oh, and she's going to throw her dagger. Oh, Oh, you're throwing a dagger. Damn right I am. We're getting into this. Okay. Hold up. You know what I need to do then? Let me get you guys a map. Three traps. Is that a two? They're probably the same for us. It's like both of them. IG-88, boss, all of them. Got four long. We got the guy in the bandages. That's the four longs. The, the other robot that's got the insect head. He's there. He's kind of looks like a bug too.

Yeah. That's the one. Jason, did I get enough sleep to get my third level slot back? Cause now I feel like I wasted it. I wouldn't say that that's a third. That wasn't a, that wasn't a full night's sleep. So that's not an extended rest yet. Okay. What was your third level spell? Yeah, it was a pretty cool spell. Oh, is that the arrows? Yeah, it's a third level. Oh, how long did they last? Like an hour? Um, it actually doesn't have, it's probably like a 10 minutes or something like that. It doesn't have a thing on it though. I'd have to look it up on the. Good thing for us, we have a DM right here at our fingertips.

I could just look it up myself. It's pinned to the Facebook group. God, Boba Fett. This is truly Boba Fett. I think it is. Cause I think, yeah, cause uh, Bree was talking to a drow woman when they were in. Right. It's gotta be the same one. They were looking for you guys. Yeah. And she had that list. Nope. Finally caught up to us. Guess we'll have to go to murdering again. Here I go, murdering again. Here I go killing again. Yeah, that's what I was thinking of. All right, so you want to throw a dagger? Yes. Well, to throw a dagger, you're going to need a target. So here's where the drow are.

Which one's this one's probably. The one standing right in front of Brelin. The one how invisible. Drow assassin. Oh no. That will hit. So okay. Brelin goes invisible. Tatiana whips a dagger at this lady. Don't forget my badass line. That's true. Yes. It's very diehard. And she's going to take it the shoulder. And she is immediately going to look to the two guys next to her and like give a slight nod. And she's going to say under her breath, "Well, you just had to make this hard, didn't you?" Everyone do me a favor. Roll initiative. Hell yeah. Should I roll damage first or no?

Yes, actually roll damage please. Absolutely. Yes, nine. Oh yes. And they're dead. Kind of love her a little bit though now. We could take her under our wing. We just need to conform her. You can fix her. Nope. No. Oh no. Listen, they're drow. They're drow. I am drowsy. It's fine. I already got to go. Oh, this is an interesting lineup for initiative. So it's Brelin. Drow, drow, drow. And here's the thing. Brelin's invisible, but the first time he does something to attack them, he won't be. So what do you do, hotshot? Why you gotta give me nicknames like that? Brelin, you're up.

Sweet. Hold on. I forgot how to move in this game. Speed is divided by five. Wow, I forgot halflings. No mobility. He just runs. He runs in front of Katayana. Oh no. And casts Thunderclap. Oh wait, wait. No, I have to move closer than that. So not casting Thunderclap. Rewind that. I'm gonna move in front of Katayana and I'm gonna cast Bestow Curse on the drow assassin. Okay. I was about to say that was such a classic Brelin move. Go invisible, cast Thunderclap. Death in every one. I just wanna hurt her. I have to get right in front of him. So I learned how to do it correctly now.

Yay! Death in half your teammates. What the fuck, Brelin? I guess I hit the save button, right? To see if it saves. To see if she saves. Let's do it. Oh, she totally saves. So my spell does nothing. Yep, and you're no longer invisible. I pop out and I try to play a scary, spooky Halloween song on the lute, but it just doesn't work. It doesn't work. And then I look at Tatyana and say, "Shit." And I end my turn. Oh boy, howdy. Okay. Drow assassin. Oh boy, howdy. Oh boy. Okay. Here's... I move up deftly and she's going to target Tatyana. And a couple of things are gonna get ready and happen.

Okay. So she is gonna get ready and there's a multi-attack. She's going to use the short sword that she has drawn twice. Here's the other thing. She also has an ability called Assassinate. During its first turn, the assassin has advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn. Any hit, the assassin scores against a surprised creature, which you're not surprised, you're in the middle of this as a critical. So don't worry about that. But she does have advantage. She's a speedy Drow. Yeah, she's really good at her job is the problem. So let's deal with that first.

Let's deal with the sword swings here. Get ready. Here we go. Oh, oh, wait. She has advantage. Sorry. That was a crit one. Hold up. That's still gonna miss. That's still gonna miss, but not a crit miss. Dang it. Sorry. All right. The second one is going to hit though. All right. Now there's a lot to unpack. So her short sword, so that is going to do one D six plus three damage. So max damage. That's nine. And the target must make a DC 15 constitution saving throw, or you're going to take a lot of poison damage. Ooh, nasty. Dang it. All right. Well. Oh shit. So. Holy hell. 30 poison damage.

Oh, that's a lot of poison damage. That's a lot of poison damage. That's 30 poison damage. And that is going to drop Tatiana. Oh my God. I was so bad off and then I went down. Wait, what? But it was 30 damage. Oh, and a nine from, nevermind. Just kidding. That's the, yeah. Literally exactly enough to down me. Oh, that sucks. Now, that will end her turn. Oh Jesus. Okay. Drow warrior two is going to move up to Brelin and he is going to forgo his turn, his action, in order to ask Brelin, "Do you really want this to get any worse for your friends? Turn yourself over to us and we'll let them all live." Brelin, with sweat dripping down his head, looks at his fallen comrade behind him but doesn't say anything.

Just keeps staring at the guy. So doesn't say anything? No, no. I just keep like kind of, maybe a little growl, like a Chihuahua growl. Okay. Oh boy. Okay. Drow warrior number one is going to move up to Brelin and he's going to, again, not attack, he's going to say, "It's time to go." Still the same. He just looks at both of them, like an animal cornered. Right. And he's going to just one more, "This is your last chance." And that'll wrap up his turn. Elena! Okay. I am going to move, oh my goodness, I'm trying to move everything away. Okay. I'm going to move up to the Drow assassin here.

Okay. And I'm going to use a little thing called Distracting Strike. What it'll do is if I hit anybody that attacks this person before the end of my, before the start of my next turn, has advantage. So that's awesome. Yes. Control. So I will hit it with my long sword. Let's go. Oh! Oh yeah. Almost a crit. That'll be the Drow assassin. Right. That is damage. Six damage to the Drow assassin. And I think because we leveled up, I get to do another attack. Oh wait, wait, I'm so sorry. That was the wrong damage. Okay. I'll give it back. Okay. This is the correct damage. Six damage.

Actually, actually, I have a thing called, oh, let me find, I think it's this one. Great weapon fighting. When you make a roll, when you roll a one or two on a damage die for an attack you make with a melee weapon that you are wielding with two hands, which I am, you can re-roll the die and must use the new roll, even if the new roll is a one or two. Okay. Before you do that again, are you a champion? I don't know what that means. No, she's a battle master. Battle master. Okay. Just checking. So I'll give that back to her again. Yeah. Battle master. Okay. Go ahead and roll it again.

This one. Ten damage. And then I will attack again because now I can do that. And you have an advantage because you did that to yourself, right? Oh no, I think it's for other people. Allies, allies. Okay. 21 will hit. Seven more damage to the assassin. Okay. Anything else for Mileena? Nope, that will be it. All right, Callie, you are up. All right, Callie is going to move towards Tatyana and target her and do some cure wounds. If I can press the right buttons. Heal. Well, at least you're not dying anymore. So. Five health. Back to Tatyana. You're the best. Thanks. And that's all I can do right now.

All right. We haven't heard from Kaladin in a while. Kaladin, how are you feeling about all this? Kaladin is not feeling good. This is like worst case scenario that could possibly happen is these people are embroiled in this horrible situation and Braelyn is out front. So he is going to take a step back here by Larg and he is going to close his eyes and try and concentrate. A little bit of snow and ice sort of eddy around him, but again he's going to make some like Naruto sigils with his hands. But we don't actually, there's not a whole lot of stuff that happens on the outside.

What's happening is happening on the inside of these drow and he's trying to like freeze their muscles and tendons in place so that they cannot move. So I'm going to cast hold person as a third level spell and spend some sorcery points so I can cast it on all three of them. Okay. What's the save? The save is wisdom save DC 16. Okay. So I think I've got them all. You got them all target. Yeah. Let's do this. Boom, boom, boom. One of the saves. The drow assassin is going to fail as is drow elite warrior number two, drow warrior one is fine. So yeah, he takes a step back and closes his eyes, says some words in Draconic, very loud, the last one like booming out across this thing and they find themselves suddenly unable to move.

The two that didn't save. So they're paralyzed? Oh yeah. It might help if I read you what happened. The target, Oh God. Okay. Or be paralyzed for the duration at the end of each of its turns, the target can make another wisdom saving throw. So at the end of these drows turns, they can make another saving throw DC 16. If success it's fine, then they're good. If they fail, they continue to be paralyzed. And I forget what paralyzed does, but it does a whole bunch of shit. Let me, let me read you paralyzed. Cause I just looked it up. A paralyzed creature is incapacitated and can't move or speak.

That's rough. There's other stuff too, but I'll let Jason. Yeah. There's a bunch of stuff, but they basically, yeah, basically they can't move or talk. Yeah. Do they have advantage on them? No, that doesn't seem right. No. We have, they automatically fail strength and dextrose. Oh, gotcha. And attack rolls against the creatures have advantage. Oh, okay. Okay. And, and Jason, I just want to add this one and I don't like being rules lawyer, but I love paralyzed. No, no, go ahead. Any attack that hits a creature that is paralyzed is considered a critical hit. If the attacker is within five feet of the creature.

Gotcha. Okay. That makes sense to me. So this is a concentration spell, correct? Yes, I believe so. Yes. Excellent. All right. Tatiana, your turn. Tatiana after being knocked out is going to awaken to Callie over her and I suppose stand and is, is very sort of taken aback. She wasn't seeing that coming and she's going to look directly at the woman assassin or the woman drow and like with a real stink face is going to take out her short sword and be like, you motherfucker. And it's going to, I try to hit her. And you do have advantage twice. So just advantage.

Got it. Just the one advantage. Unfortunately it actually cancels out so I don't now. That's how it works. Hey. Wow. We're dropping an 18 to take that 19. Nice. That was a hit. Well seven damage to the assassin. Seven damage and then actually I believe that counts as a, as max damage critical. Yeah, you get a crit. That's right. Yeah. If you hit the, so hold on, let me give that back to the, okay, go ahead. So I shift and then damage. Yep. But that includes a sneak attack dice too. Did that work? Yep. That worked. Okay. Yep. Cool. Are you, are you doing sneak attack? I don't think I, I don't think I can cause like I'm obviously right in front of her.

I just stood up in front of her. No, you can. No, you can if they're engaged with another person. And I think technically she was engaged with Elena. Elena. Yeah. That's bomb. Yeah. If someone's within, if an ally is within five feet, I think. Okay. So I have written down in my note section, I get 3d6 for sneak attack extra. Yep. Oh my God. What? Yeah. Cause I'm a little five now. 10 more damage to the drow assassin. So Tontiana literally stands up from like an unconscious state swipes at this lady, does 23 damage. And now she's going to use cunning action and just take a quick little step back.

Ooh. Okay. So that will bring up Larg. How's Larg feeling about all this? So yeah, when Tatiana goes down, Larg basically is going to pick up his hammer and sort of like, like pump it, like he's pumping a shotgun. And the head of the hammer is going to flare with this like really bright white light. He's going to use sacred weapon on his hammer. Okay. So that is as an action, he can imbue one weapon that he's holding with positive energy using a channel divinity for one minute. He adds his charisma modifier to attack roles made with that weapon. It also admits a bright light for 20 foot radius, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So anyway, he's going to add plus two to his attacks for a while, and then he's going to go ahead and move straight through to this drow warrior here. Okay. And he is going to, so that was an action to cast a spell and that was a movement. And what he's going to do now is as a bonus action, excuse me, the channel divinity was an action. This was movement. And then he's going to use a bonus action to cast compelled duel on this drow elite warrior. Okay. So that means it's going to have to make a save, I think. And if it fails, it has to fight me. Does the save come now or on its turn?

Let's see. You attempt to challenge creature into a duel. One creature that you can see within range must make a wisdom saving throw. So yeah, I guess he makes it now. Now let's do, yeah, they've been great with the wisdom saving throw. Ah, wow. That's a crit. He's like straining with his eyes like, no, no, no, I won't look at you. All right, well I'm going to stand there and look mean then. Okay. It's like, I'm kind of dealing with other shit right now. I'm paralyzed, man. I am really cold. Ah, Brailein. So I'm in front of the only one that can move. Yep. Sweet.

It wouldn't be Brailein if I wasn't here, right? Oh no. I can't cast the spell. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to use the cantrip. I'm going to cast, I haven't cast this one yet. I'm going to cast Bladerord. So I have my loot in one hand and I strike a couple of chords and it like plays on its own and just floats there. And I use my hands to make a sigil of warning against weapon attacks. So I have resistance against bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing until the end of my turn and then I'm going to run away. I'm going to run into Lark's base and then back behind Tatyana so if that guy wants to attack me he's more than willing, he's more than capable of doing it.

Can he do a swoop on you? Yeah, number one can. But I think number two is paralyzed. He cannot. Alright, so here's what we got. He's going to use a short sword. That's a 12 against Brailein, probably not going to hit. I get disadvantage anyways, right? So oh wait, is it disadvantage or resistance? Oh no no no, sorry. Resistance, yeah so. It does not hit me, my AC is 14. Okay. Oh wait, can I do a cantrip? I can use a level one as a bonus, or as a, I forget the order, so if I cast a cantrip as a regular action, can I do a bonus action at level one or is it the other way around?

I think it's the other way around. Okay, I'm good on my turn. Okay. Well, now here's where things get messy because Drow Assassin is still paralyzed so can't do anything on her turn but does get to roll a wisdom saving throw if I'm correct at the end of her turn to try and break out of it. Yep. Alright, let's see what we got. That's a 19. Oh nice. So she's done, right? She is no longer paralyzed. Alright. How do I get rid of you? I don't know. I was trying to look at that. I don't know if it's something on my end or what. Got it. Oh there it goes. I got it, yeah.

It was in the mechanics. So that's going to enter her turn but she's no longer paralyzed. Drow Warrior number two, same thing. Let's see what he's got. So Larg walked up, tried to challenge him. Let's see here. Oh shit. 22. 22 will do it. So no one's paralyzed anymore. That will end Elite Warrior two's turn and that will bring up one. So Reylen ran away. Now... fuck it. Warrior one is going to walk up to Larg and he's going to try and hack a path clean through to Reylen. Damn, I thought he was going to be like "fuck it" and walks away. You know what? I think it's a bad luck to see.

I'm done with this. Oh man. Okay multi-attack to uh, let's see. Here we go. Multi-attack, let's see. Just making sure all this stuff. Yep. So two against Larg. Here we go. 22 to Larg, that'll hit. And 13 will miss. So one of these is going to hit and it does... Oh my god. This. 14 damage to Larg, some of that's poison damage. It's not great. These guys are not fucking around. Just a bucket of dice. Just, here you go. All my d6s. Alayna, you are up. Okay, so the Drow assassin is no longer paralyzed. Correct. No one's paralyzed. Yeah, no one's paralyzed. Right. What is the, what is she holding in her hands?

Like what weapon does she have? Shortsword. Okay. Interesting. Okay, I'm just going to hit her with my sword again. That makes sense. 19 will hit. Perfect. And damage. 6 damage. Which I get to roll again because it is a 2. Okay, hold up. I gotta undo that. Yep. So we're gonna use your Prince of Persia time powers. (laughter) 11 damage is what you meant to say. There we go. (laughter) And, oh, and I get to attack again. You sure do. Hell yeah, my dude. I'm gonna do it again. That'll hit. Cool. And damage. 8 more damage. Perfect. That's gonna be it. Alright, Callie, you're up.

Yay. So, what's the weather like, Jason? Just curious. (laughter) Well, Karen, it is a beautiful springtime evening. God damn it. Mild cloud cover. It's about 60 degrees. Nice breeze in the air. Okay, well, I was asking because I have a spell. And it could be even better if it was maybe storming. Oh, I'm sorry. So, this cloud is gonna form in the sky, guys. And from it is gonna shoot lightning. So, I'm gonna cast Call Lightning. Nice. And I'm gonna have it shoot down in the square between the Drow Assassin and the Drow Elite Warrior 1. Okay. And so both of them need to make a Dexterity saving throw.

Oh. Which I think there might be a button for that. Hold on. Okay. Oh, shoot. I took my third level spells away when I clicked the button. (laughter) There's a button for that. Crumples throws away. Yeah. (laughter) Okay. I think I need to -- oh, somebody's moving me. Why? I'm break dancing. It was an accident. I'm sorry. It's fine. Okay, you got him targeted. So, the Drow Assassin and the Drow Elite Warrior 1. Okay. And I think I do the save button, right? Not the attack. Okay. Oh, my God. They're both gonna save. Okay. Well, they still take half damage. So -- Actually -- I'm sorry.

What? Wait. Do it in the comic book nerd voice. Um, actually, Baron. The Drow Assassin has something called Evasion. If the Drow Assassin is subject to the effect that allows it to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, the Assassin instead takes no damage, as if it succeeded on the saving throw, and only half damage if it fails. Well, fuck that bitch. That's very good. That's very good. I want that. I want that so bad. Yeah, I want that. Does Drow Elite Warrior 1 have that same feat? Drow Elite Warrior 1 is not as lucky. Okay, well, he's still taking half damage.

Okay. Holy shit. So, 21 damage cut in half is 10. You okay? Yeah, I'm angry. What a waste of a third level spell. It was really cool looking though. I was there. I'm gonna add some sound effects. Remind me. So here's the thing, guys, is that this cloud stays, and I can move it around, and I can keep calling lightning down, so -- Oh, shoot. Really, Gil? Nice. That's awesome. That's cool. That's real cool. So that's it for now. Alright, Kalvin. Oh, fuck. I'm not ready. Damn it. Okay. We can go back and we can just do my whole turn again and just add the damage. Yeah, can we just take two?

Reset everyone. Take two. Alright, well, that was really cool. So, I think Kalvin is gonna see Calli perform this cool weather thing, and he's gonna try and add on to it just to sort of like do a -- what do you call it -- like a magic alley-oop, basically. Okay. Alright. So, but he's gonna -- he's going to summon -- and we've seen this spell before -- now that his hold is broken on them, he's going to summon this sort of like storm of ice and snow that sort of like makes these horrible hail balls to go around Drow Assassin and Drow Elite Warrior 1. One.

Yeah. And he's going to -- god, what's the word for it? Like, combo. He's gonna try and combo with -- I like how you said k-k-k-combo. Yeah. He's gonna k-k-k-combo with the stone storm. So there's this like cloud shooting lightning, and then he's going to throw in this thing, and he's going to add a little English on it and throw in some dangerous icicles as well. Alright. So I'm going to spend the last of my sorcery points to cast Magic Missile as a quick spell, as a bonus action. Okay. And then I'm going to cast the Cauldron Snowball Swarm on the two of them.

Okay. So there's a lot going on here. Yeah. There's a bit going on. So we'll do the Magic Missile first. Yeah, because that's going to hit no matter what. Yeah. So I'm going to do two on this Drow Assassin. Okay. Trying to take her out first. Oh wow. Okay, four. Two fours. And then I'm going to do one on this boy here. Okay. Now I'm going to try -- and now this storm, like the storm shooting these icicles, and then the big ol' hail balls come out, and they have to make a -- this is a Dex saving throw. Alright. Here we go. Alright. So, Drow Assassin's going to take no damage.

Awesome. Because she just -- she is dexterous as shit. She's like doing cool flips, I imagine. She's just like flipping around. Oh man. And Drow Elite Warrior 1 is again not so lucky. So he just failed straight up. Okay. So he'll take 3d6 cold damage. Boom. As he gets pummeled by all of this ice and snow. Holy shit. 14 damage. That's a lot. So yeah. And that'll be it. Yeah, he's going to -- he'll shout out to Calli and be like, "The storms are coming." That'll be it. They can't all be cold. Come on. I want to hug you. Things are happening. Yeah. That feels appropriate.

I made ice. Don't put it in your drink though. This is not for drink ice. Who wants ice cream? That would be one of my lower points, I think. That's when you can tell I've really given up. I'm just like, "I want ice cream, whatever. I'm done." I'm done. I'm good. I'm done. That's my turn. Tatiana, you are up. Okay, cool. I am going to roll a personal dice to see if I want to do a thing. Okay. Tatiana is going to fire an arrow at the drow assassin. Oh. But I don't know if you can do this with arrows. Can I do non-laser damage with an arrow? If you're ... Okay, it's a gray area, right?

Because basically, if you're telling me you're not trying to kill, I'm going to count it as you're not trying to kill. Okay, I'm not trying to kill her, Jason. Right. The only time is like, "Okay, I'm not going to try and kill her," and you do 50 damage. It's like, "Well, whether you're not trying to or not." I promise you that that won't happen. We don't know. Let's just ... Watch you crit. No. That's going to miss. Well, maybe I'm on a good side now, though. Maybe. We'll see. Love that pause. That's the end of my turn. Larg, your turn. All right, so Larg is going to take a swing at this elite warrior one.

All right. I'm going to hit him with my hammer. He's going for body blows. Okay. I imagine with this effect, this sacred weapon going on his hammer, it kind of leaves a trail of light, like a sparkler. Oh, that's cool. Like a glow stick at a rave. Yeah, pretty much, exactly. Okay, so we're going to add two to this roll. All right. And biff it completely. That's a 10 total. He's going to pretend that didn't happen. He's going to turn around, and he's going to swing at the other guy instead. Like, I meant you. That's an 18. That's much better. That will hit. Yes. What we're going to do is we're going to dump a second level spell slot and swing an extra 3D8 at this guy.

Jesus Christ. That's what we want to do. Oh, I was clicking javelin for the attack, but it's the same bonus as my war hammer. That's fun, yeah. So, here's the hammer. Uh-huh. That's 10. And here's the other thing. That's another 6. So, 16 damage total. Yeah, so there's a small explosion when it hits this guy. I'd like to think that, like, Larg was so pissed that he missed the first guy, he put extra into the second. Yeah, the miss just brought more momentum into the second swing. But that's his turn. I'm all done. All right, all right. Damn, that's pretty good.

Brailen, what you got to say? So, Brailen's watching what's happening. The hammer misses. The storm spell. He's going to back up one more time and target the assassin. Mm-hmm. And use his new bow. The vicious shortbow? Yep. Also known as Bianca from Dragon Age. [laughter] All right, so I just rolled this one. 18 will hit. Oh, Bianca, you're so beautiful. 6 damage. 6 damage to the assassin. Yeah, so he just, like, fires a... He sees how accurate it is, he looks at the bow. [laughter] That's it. Well, let's see. The Strow assassin has a bit of a problem. She's regretting all of her actions and wants to surrender.

Except... Well, the problem is Elena. Wow. So, Drow assassin is going to focus all of your ire on Elena. And use a multi-attack and take her short sword and attack Elena. 1. 19 will hit. 2. Ah, 24 will hit. Are we playing Strathout? No. [laughter] I got lost for a sec. Let's do the first... Okay, first damage is max damage 9. Now, you gotta make a constitution saving throw. We're shooting for a 15. 16! You just saved yourself a whole buttload of damage. Oh my god, she rolled max damage again. Give me another save! Okay... Oh yeah! You saved again! Ha ha! Damn, that would have been a shitload of damage too.

Very good. Yeah, it would have. Ouchie. Alright, that brings up Drowly Warrior #2. Drowly #2, he just got hit by Larg. So he's gonna target Larg and just try to hack past him, I guess. Oh my goodness. Let's do multi-attack. Let's do that. Ahh... Oh, he biffed it too! [laughter] Oh, one more, he gets one more. And he biffed it again! They're all spinning like whirling dervishes. Yeah, there's... This is the most frantic fight. [laughter] Do you guys get the feeling, like, there's real stakes to this fight, where I'm like, okay, someone's gonna hit and it's gonna be big and it's gonna be bad.

Like, the opening made me think that. Yeah, that already happened. I don't know where you were that first turn. It did happen, trust me, I was there. [laughter] Ah, Drowly Warrior. He's gonna target Larg for his first attack. And shortsword. 21 will hit. That'll hit. 18 damage to Larg. That'll hurt. He's gonna target Tatiana with the second hit. He will have disadvantage, I will put my shield in the way. Ohhh, okay. Thank you, Larg. [laughter] Disadvantage. Everyone cross your fingers. We're gonna drop a 4 to take a 3. 10 will miss. That ends the Drow's turns.

Alaina, your rebuttal. So now Alaina's mad because she got hit. And that hasn't happened in a while. [laughter] So, she's gonna attack this lady again. Oh shit, that'll hit. Hell yeah. 5 damage to the assassin. Oh, that's a 1, I get to hit it, go again. It's a great thing that doesn't happen often. [laughter] Okay, let's do it. Oh no! I don't get to go again. Yeah, you have to take this, right? That's fine, that's fine. That's awesome. What is Alaina doing when she's missing? Is there a flavor thing you've got for that? Or is it just like... She looks at the brush and she goes, "Oops, sorry." And she just stabs them again.

Oh good, so she's just bumbling through it. Yeah, she goes, "Oops, my bad, let me try again." [laughter] I'm gonna hit her again. That's a Chris! Aww, I think that means I don't get to do anything fun. Nope, not on the table, but it's still much more damage. And that's holding shift, yes? Yep. 13 more damage. This assassin's not looking so hot. Um, Callie, you are up. Healer attack, guys. [laughter] I think I'm gonna keep the lightning going. It's not concentration, so it'll stay there. I think I'm gonna heal Tatiana, 'cause she's still pretty low. So another Cure Wounds for Tatiana.

Very nice, 7 more health. And that will do it for me. Okay. Cauldron! Alright, Kaldin is gonna shift this storm over to these drow elite. And yeah, he's gonna try and move that over so that it envelops the two of them, rather than the drow assassins, so both of the drow elite warriors. So the storm sort of swirls and moves over, bashing them with this ice and snow. They gotta make a dex thing, let's see if they do. Oh, wow, okay, so... Looks like one of them saved. Oh, yes, yeah, one of them saved, one of them didn't. I'm sorry, Evasion came up, and I'm like, "What?" It just gives them that because they, yeah.

So one of them will take half damage, and one of them will take full damage, and that's 3d6 cold again. Boom, boom, boom. Ooh, 10 damage. Wow, that hurt. Okay. Anything else? Uh, no, that'll be it. Yeah, he'll just move this storm. He'll call out to people, "If you can bring her down alive, try and do it." Yeah, these guys are taking a beating, and they're just kind of like, they're trying to focus on you, and it's making things difficult. Tatiana, your thoughts? My thoughts are, "I'm gonna shoot another arrow at her face!" (laughter) But it's non-lethal damage.

Sure, in the face. I think she could use a nose ring. That's all I'm saying. That will hit! Yay! And because if there's an ally within five feet, I get to do sneak attack again! Uh-oh! But first regular damage. Oh, shit. And then dis damage. Oh my god. Jesus, eight more damage! She is teetering. That's not great. And then Tatiana's gonna blow her a kiss. I'm just kidding. No, I don't want to do that. That's a really bad idea. I was gonna say, sexy though. I mean, if you pull it off and don't die, really cool. That's key. Larg. You're taking a battering? Yeah, Larg. Larg no likey, ouchie.

No. Larg is gonna hit Drow Elite Warrior number one again with his glow stick hammer. Okay. And that's gonna look like... Oh man. It's gonna look like this. A crit! Okay, so, okay. I'm a half-orc. I do three times damage on a crit. Holy shit. Yeah, I forgot about that. That's a thing? Okay, you should click damage and the table will automatically know that. Don't even hold shift, just click the damage. Okay, let's click damage and see. I only did double. You know what you're gonna do? What am I gonna do? Give me another D8. Okay, can we do this? I'm also gonna burn another second level spell slot, so I'm gonna give you four more D8.

Oh, come on! So you're gonna try and liquefy him. I mean, I would like to. Okay, that's eleven more damage. Wow, that is a walloping. So he's gonna take that and like, "Fuck!" Like, just like, "What in Drow?" So it's like, it sounds more elegant. Imagine like the greenery around him like moves with the wind of it. Just a shockwave of it. Yeah, that was a real dickpunch of an attack. Oh, and I get to hit again. Fucking wow! I get two attacks, right? Uh, you do? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, here it comes. Jesus Christ. Here it comes. Same target? Same target. That's a miss.

Oh, shucks. I was enjoying that first one too much. You've done enough. Okay, I'm done. I imagine you just strike the shit out of him and you're like, "Hold on, I got another one." He falls down too far and I miss him. Holy shit, Brailen! Seeing Elena earlier do her distracting strike is going to use a bonus action to use Rally onto Lark. Because he is within sight and I spend my only superiority dice to give him temporary HP. Hey! Three temporary HP. I don't know how to add that to somebody, so. I got it. Yeah, thank you. I got you. So he just says like, "Lark, you got this, Brail!" Does he blow him a kiss?

No, he tries to mimic Elena's voice as best as he can so that people think it's coming from her. That it's coming from me. Oh, and also sorry, it's plus my Charisma mod, plus that. So, plus three, so six temporary HP. Okay, got it, got it, got it. And I have no more superiority die. Geez. Well, okay. And that was a bonus action and was not a spell, so for my main action I'm going to look at Drow Assassin again. And try my last level three spell one more time. Bestow Curse. Here we go. Let's try it. Oh, that's a failure! Oh! Okay, what do I want to give her? Hold on, let me check this.

Bestow Curse. First, second, third level, here we go. Okay, I would like her. Okay, I'm going to use... While cursed, the target must make a Wisdom saving throw at the start of each of its turns. If it fails, it wastes its action. That turn doing nothing. Ooh. That's bomb. Boom. Alright, Wisdom save. Well, shit. Is that all for Brailin? Yeah, he just plays like a... again, this time it's like a... it'll be a really scary song. You know what, it's just... It's like an 80's pop song that just gets stuck in her head the whole time. Like I start the first few chords and it's looping in her...

It's like something by like... I don't know, who's a really shitty 80's pop band? "Loving you, loving me, say that you love me." Seriously, that's the cardigans and that's the 90's and they were lovely. I was just going for an earworm. We're going to the 90's, we're going to go ace of base. Yep, thank you, Elena. Exactly, I saw the sign. Ooh, I saw the sign. Oh, man. That's my turn. I don't think that effect sticks with her, Jason, so I feel like we have to remember that. Okay. Yeah. Have fun listening to that, audience, in post. Okay, Drow Assassin. Let's roll a saving throw.

What's the DC I'm trying to get? I'm 14. 14, here we go. 18! Slinky. She's going to take the dodge action. And she's going to try and slink back. She a little bitch. Now, Elena, if you want... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. You can absolutely, if you like, you can try to attack, but you're going to have disadvantage. I love this. Wait, why do I have disadvantage? Because she's going so fast or something? Because she's dodging. Yeah, I'll attack. You seem so offended. Nah, I'll just let it go. Oh, okay. So with disadvantage? Yep, with disadvantage, click that little dis button.

Oh, that will hit. Yeah, that'll hit, yeah. Oh, you're trying to trick us. I saw the red die and I was like, oh, that's a mess. But it's just the disadvantage, that's why. That's why. I got it. Oh, I think I need to target her. Yeah, this is just a standard... Oh, I'm still targeting her, just kidding. Yeah. This is just a standard... Oh, five damage, that's a one. Drow Elite Warrior number two is going to try and beat the living shit out of a lark. So, he's going to save them some nice legs. It'd be a shame if something happens to them. He's going to swing... No, wait, wait!

He has advantage! Because of his friend! Oh, I haven't even been keeping track of that. Well, neither one of those will hit, but he's got another swing! Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, he's got advantage. That'll hit! There we go. Just keep trying to hit. Just keep rolling until you hit, that's fine. Roll six more, just... Twenty damage! Actually, fourteen because I gave him a shield of six. It's already calculated. Goddammit! That might be why I'm alive. That might be why... That is why you're alive, those... wow, jeez. Drow Warrior number one is going to multi-attack.

That first attack is going to lark. We're dropping a seven to take an eight, that's fifteen and it'll miss. He's going to try it again! We're going to drop a three to take a fifteen, that's twenty-two and that'll hit. Twenty-two damage! How many hit points does lark have? That didn't kill you outright. So that's good. Actually, he gets to stay with one HP, I think. Does he? Oh, that's right. Yeah, you're an angry boy. I get my Ultimate Warrior back up. You no-sold his attack? Yeah, so he goes down to one knee and then basically just slowly stands back up. Oh, that's badass, but I hate you.

Elena! Okay, I have a question for the party. Do you think I should run after her? Oh, there's some meta right here. What would Elena do? I don't know. When you don't know, I roll for it. That's what my personal rolls are. I'm like, I don't know what Tatiana would do, let the dice decide. What does fate choose for me? Okay. One through three she doesn't, four through six she does. Here we go. Okay! Get her! Go get her! Go get her! So she has just enough movement speed to catch up with her. And as she runs over, she's gonna go, "Hey! Where do you think you're going?" She's gonna run after her and she's gonna hit her.

What? I like it. It's to the point, it's direct. Yep. Oh, I see. Yeah, I'm gonna just regular hit her. Haddle hit? Hell yeah. Now let's get ready and reroll this damage. No, that's max damage! And then I'm gonna hit her again. Oh shit! This could down her. Now, you know, 'cause everyone kept saying, "Oh, non-lethal damage! Non-lethal damage!" But like... Nah, nah, kill her! Kill her! That's bullshit! Kill her! That's kind of upset, especially 'cause she ran away like a little bitch! There's something so awesome about four-foot Valerie. That's why I made this character tall and strong.

This could off the Drow assassin. Let's see. She's gonna have hell to pay, but like... She got hit, and then she ran away, so like... What are you doing to your character? Alina's like, "Nah, fuck you." So, he's gonna hit her again, and just in case this does kill her, she is trying to kill her, I guess. Gotcha. Oh shit. Holy shit! It kills her. That is a crit. Okay, let's see. That will kill the Drow assassin. Oh my god. I would say... How do you kill her, Valerie? Well, I assume that she's like, running away. Mm-hmm. So I go, "Hey, where do you think you're going?" And she takes her first hit, which is more like a slash across her back.

Mm-hmm. But then, Sora's gonna, you know, sort of take the momentum of the... Alina? What? Oh, did I say Sora? Oh no! Oh, Sora's spirit is inside of Alina. So, Alina is going to take the momentum of that first slash. I imagine it's top right to bottom left. And she's going to go along and keep sort of spinning around. And so then her second hit, she's going to stab the sword into her back. Jesus, okay, wow. And lift her up with it? Brutal. That's very dead. She is dead. Well, you live in California now, Jason. It's hella dead. It's hella dead. Hella dead. Y'know what I mean?

Y'know what I mean? You know what, though? You guys are going to be way more elusive when these people don't come back. No, I agree 100%. Callie, you are up. Okay, the answer is probably yes. I was going to say, does Larg count as a creature if he's kneeling? Uh, yes. Wait, what? I want to get both of the drought. That was one of those "grasping at straws" questions. But if I put the lightning where I want to put it, it's going to get Larg and then he's going to die. I mean, you know, you gotta break a few eggs. No. So I'll just target Drought Elite Warrior 1, and I'll have the lightning come down behind him.

And I don't know why I keep closing this. So that's a dex save for--oh, that's a failure. Oh yeah, he's taken 3d10. That's 13 damage. Okay, that's it. Oof, that hurt. Okay, he's not looking good. Like, at all. Yes, good. Keldon! Keldon Storm dissipates in--actually, this lightning strikes and just sort of like, you see the ice and snow cloud just kind of dissipate when it strikes around this guy. And then four deadly icicles are going to shoot out from where he is to on Drought Elite Warrior 1 and 2 on Drought Elite Warrior 2. Okay, 2 and 2. 2 and 2. Oh, I gotta do them separately, hold on.

Alright, boomp and boomp. Okay, 2 damage and another 2 damage, that's 4. To Elite Warrior 1. And then this guy, boomp and boomp. That's 5 damage and 2, that's 7 damage to Elite Warrior 2. Boom. And that'll be his turn, yeah. The storm is gone and he's rained down these icicles. Tatiana, how you feeling? I'm feeling cunning. [laughter] I'm gonna use my cunning action. Okay. And just sort of disengage right over her. And then I'm gonna shoot Elite Warrior #1. Okay. That's probably not a word, but it is now! [laughter] Oh my god, 26 will hit. Yay! Max damage, 11. Yay, and then I do my other ones too.

You do, you do, you do, you do. That will... Hurt! The Elite Warrior. Yep, it'll hurt. [laughter] It hurt real bad. It was close. Oh goodness gracious. Okay, is that your turn? That'll do, kid. Pretty good fucking turn. That's 20 damage. Larg, we're up. So, the way I imagine it is Larg kind of, like he gets knocked down to one knee and then slowly starts to stand back up again. He's got like, you know, blood coming from his lip or whatever. Which one of these two is the one that hit him and knocked him down to zero? Oh golly, I think that was... He was number two.

It was one, it was one. Absolutely one. Yeah, so as he's standing back up he's making eye contact with this guy and his fists light up and he's gonna lay on hands himself. And sort of basically just power back up to 25 more hit points. So you are literally hulking up. Oh shit! Literally, basically staring this guy down like you are gonna have to try a lot harder. You done fucked. So, can I please have 25 hit points? It pains me to give them to you, but yeah. [laughter] All that work. This is so hard guys. [laughter] 25 hit points? 25, it's my paladin level times five.

Jesus Christ. Okay. Oh, whoa, nope, nope, hold on. Oh shit, I did math wrong. It should go to 21. I do it all the time, it's okay, because it doesn't affect me. It just affects a multi-million dollar company. Not a big deal. [laughter] Oh my god. What else you got? That's it. Unless I can roll an Intimidate as a bonus action. Hmmm. I'm gonna say no, but barely. [laughter] Only because these guys are really trained. If these were like bandits, I'd be like fuck yeah, let's do it. Alright, that's fair. Uh, Braelyn. What you got? Okay, so when he saw Larg fucking power himself up, he just mouths the word, "Oh my god, Erathis." [laughter] Just like, he's a stun.

Uh, but he's going to use... Let's see, what do I got left? Uh, no, I don't wanna do that. I'm not gonna Thunderclap. That's too dangerous. And then he kills Larg. [laughter] Erathis. Fuck you. [laughter] I'm gonna move one up and target numero uno, elite warrior one. Okay. And I'm gonna try and cast, "Dissonant Whispers." Saving throw coming right now. Uh, he's gonna save. Son of a bitch. Oh. I don't think I get the damage at all, right? It's not even half, I don't think. I don't think so. No, it doesn't say, "Dissonant Whispers." Oh, yeah, half damage. Oh, it does do half damage.

He doesn't move away, though, so. Right. Uh, half damage. Okay. That's not bad. It's only four, so sexy saxophone music comes out of the lute. [laughter] And he seems to enjoy it, I'm like, "Oh shit." But it is distract. Yeah, yeah. Uh, and as a bonus action, I can cast... Oh, can't trip, never mind, never mind, we're good, we're good. Okay. We're done. Uh, right. Oh shit. Drow, elite warrior two is gonna continue to target Larg, 'cause this is a problem now, officially. This is officially, we've reached a problem. That's what he's been ranked as. Just now? Just now.

Oh, fuck it, it's like, "Okay, look, he's really tough." Then when he just stood up, it's like, "No." And that's a problem. [laughter] Uh, first attack, 19! That'll hit. Uh, and second attack. 13 will miss. Okay, so, let's do this much damage to Larg, 18 damage. I gotta get tankier, guys. Oh, Jesus. Okay, wow. How much more tankier can you get, though? Yeah, this is a bad situation. This is a two, guys. This is a two situation. [laughter] This is a good two. This is a good two, though. It's a pretty good two. Drow elite warrior one is gonna take his first attack against, uh, let's say, Larg.

Let's do that. Let's say. Let's do it. Uh, we're gonna drop that 10, take an 11, 18 will hit. Alright, oh shit. Here we go. Damage. 16 will down Larg. Ouch. The Drow is going to move forward and target Tatyana. Bitch. And, uh, the good news, he doesn't have advantage. I mean... This is just on his own merit. Oh my God. Come the fuck on. Oh, that's a crit. No. No table, though, so that's good. Yeah. Okay. Guys, we really need to hope for low rolls here. I mean, I don't, I don't, okay. I just, let's all just hope for low rolls. I'm not gonna look, I'm just gonna listen to your reactions.

Okay. Oh. Oh my God. Am I dead? Did I die? No. I mean, you're unconscious. Yeah, you're down, but you did not die. Oh, okay. Don't think that kills you outright, but if you were a little lower... [Laughter] That's, okay, here's the thing. It's real close, though. Hold on. Hold on. It's real close. It seeds damage. Ah, I gotta do math, hold on. It might have killed you. Don't! You already said it didn't, you can't go back. I, I love you, Jamie, I'm sorry. You can't take it back, you already said it didn't. It exceeded your, it exceeded your hit points by 27. Ah, I'm dead.

Well, that's our maximum. 39. Yeah, I'm dead, guys. That will kill her outright. It's all right, guys. Jesus. Ah. Wait, I wanna use uncanny dodge. [Laughter] I keep forgetting that I fucking had that, 'cause it's my new thing for fifth level, so it halves that damage. Oh my god. Are you serious? Yeah. Wait, okay, now I gotta do more math. Sorry, I'm sorry, I don't wanna die. You do that math. You do that math. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want things to be awkward at our Halloween party. I just... [Laughter] I'm gonna go to a Halloween party, I've never been to one.

Come fly out, Val. Come over. I'm going to Susan's wedding three days before, or four days before. Well, tell her you're missing. You hop on a plane, and then you just fucking travel. What's the problem? You're only really out. Okay, that will down you. But I'm not dead, though. But you're not dead. Okay. Tati's not dead, everyone. Oh shit. Jamie, yes. Yes. I'm glad I didn't use it earlier now. You can use this all the time. Why don't you use this all the time? You can use it every time. I imagine Tatiana fell to the ground and stopped breathing, and we were all silent for a few seconds, and then she goes...

And starts breathing again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all did. Holy shit. Elena, do some stuff. Whoever killed this fucker is also getting pie. Just... Elena, come back. I feel like Brella's screaming. Elena! Elena was going to go after Drow Elite Warrior 2 earlier, but now that she just saw this happen, if I go here, do I still get advantage? You sure do. Anywhere adjacent to Warrior 1. Okay. Then I'm gonna go here. That way, if Drow Elite Warrior gets a whole 'nother turn, hopefully he'll come after me. Right. And I'll kill everyone else. Okay. So, I'm going to target Drow Elite Warrior 1, and I have advantage.

I'm gonna hit it, because now I'm real mad. We're dropping a 4 to take a 19. Damn right you're mad. Get it. Damage. 8 damage will kill the Drow Elite Warrior. Kill the house! Yes! Elena's getting pie. Ariel's getting pie. Oh, fuck me running. Oh, and, and, oh my god, I'm so glad I went here, because I have a second attack, and I can hit the other guy. Let's do it. Oh, shit, yeah. So I'm gonna whip around, and hit Drow Elite Warrior. Kick his body. Come on. That's gonna miss. Wait, but the assassin hit on a 15. But these are Elite Warriors. Oh, I'm gonna use, because I am done, I'm gonna use precision attack, I can add 1 superiority die, and add it to the roll.

Okay, let's see what you got. Nice. I'm gonna roll a D8, which I believe is this one. So 2 extra, or, no, yeah, that'll make it a 17. That will hit the Elite Warrior. Thank you. Okay, and he's still targeted. So now I do damage. 11 damage to the Elite Warrior. Hell yeah. Alright. Kelly, you're up. Alright, I am gonna lean down, and I'm gonna do some Cher Wounds on Tatiana. But I'm gonna do it at second level. So, she's gonna get, I'm just gonna do the heal twice, because it just adds some D8. Oh wait, hold on, I can't do that. So she's gonna get that, and then this D8 too.

There you go. Alright. 8, 8, 8. 8 is great. 8 is so great. For the second time, Tatiana awakens on the ground to have Callie glowing over her. And a love story begins. This reminds me of a romance novel. I've read some novels like this. Anything else for Callie? That's it. Alright. Calvin! Alright, I hadn't planned on doing this, but I think this requires, so, Calvin is seeing his two compatriots fall and get back up and fall and get back up, and he's gonna suck in some breath again and try and concentrate and say those words in Draconic and try and hold this motherfucker one more time.

So let's see if he can save. And he does! He's safe. He does. 21! That's so sad. Calvin breathes out and can, feels the burn. Yeah, feels the burn. Yeah, he's got like a misty breath come out despite the warm spring weather. And that'll be it. That's all I can. Tatiana! Your thoughts? Besides being dewy-eyed over Callie. Aw. She's gonna stand up and honestly exasperated at this whole thing, and she's gonna try to shoot an arrow at this lead warrior. I think still non-lethal damage this time. Okay. I appreciate the fact that you're so driven to that goal. 22 will hit.

Okay. Ten damage! Okay, and then let me do my other one. 'Cause, well, who was the last person that he was engaged with? I can still do my... Elena. Yeah, 'cause Elena hit him, yeah. Yeah. Jesus, eight more damage. 18, nice. Whew. Uh, Larg. You're, uh, give me a death saving throw. I don't think I've ever asked that of you. I was honestly perplexed. Okay. That is a failure. It's okay, I'm coming for you. [snoring] Brailin! Brailin zips across, slides down one to act as a kind of distraction for this guy, and then uses Cure Wounds at level two. Oh, shit. So here's the heal, first one.

That's not very good. There's the other one. Also not very good. Well, it's eight. Eight, man. Eight is great. Eight's great. Twinsies. Come on, Larg, we need you, man. He's like, "Huh? Oh." And that's the end of my turn. Okay. Jesus. Alright, Drow Elite Warrior. Drow Elite Warrior. Man, there's a lot going on. You know what? Here's what we're gonna do. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna target Elena. Kai? No, we're gonna target Larg. No. So at the prospect of this big fucker getting up again, he's gonna try and just stab at us like, "No!" And just stab, so he's gonna get advantage because you're on the ground.

Oh, no you don't. Yeah. Fool me once. [laughter] That's a crit. Oh, fuck. Why does he have advantage? Because he's on the ground. Oh. Oh, shit. What was rolled on the table? Gaping Wound. In addition to standard crit hit damage, the target takes an ongoing five plus half of the level, so that would be challenge rating, the effect ends when healed, so I'm sure that won't last very long. So at the beginning of each one of your turns, you're gonna take some damage. But, right now, let's roll those beautiful crit damage die. Oh, shit, wait, this could kill Larg.

Oh. Oh, shit, everyone cross your fingers. Oh my god. That'll kill him outright. It exceeds his maximum. That's 34 damage. It exceeds his maximum hit points by 26. He has 47 health. That'll kill him outright. Is there anything that can save Larg? This drow is going to come down with his blade and stab Larg in the throat, ripping open a gaping hole. And you're going to hear some gurgling and then silence. Drow elite warrior number two is then going to turn his blade toward Elena, and swing a final attack and miss. Good, I'm gonna hit him. Elena, your turn. No, no, I'm gonna hit him 'cause he missed.

Oh, do go. I have repost. I can use my reaction and expend when Superiority died to make a melee weapon attack against him. That's gonna miss. Okay, never mind. It is your turn though. Yeah. Well, we're gonna say Elena missed because she was so shocked about what just happened. So she's sort of out of it, but then she composes herself and goes to hit the drow again. Fourteen will miss. And then she will go and try and hit the drow again. Fifteen will miss. Can you use any more Superiority days? I will use my bonus action to hit the drow again. That's a critness.

And we roll on the table for that. Jesus. This session took a turn. Alright, here we go. Counterattack. The target hits you with a basic attack. Jesus Christ. So he's just gonna roll damage. Well, he doesn't even like get to hit me? No, he hits you with an attack. It's just, that's it. Fuck. Eighteen damage to Elena. Anything else? There's nothing. There's nothing else. Hit him again. Just roll it again. Hey guys, remember when Ian was a robot and it was really funny? Callie, your turn. I'm gonna hit this motherfucker with some lightning. Gonna put it in the square right behind him.

But he saved, so he takes half damage. Oh my god. Anything else? That's it. Cauldron, your turn. Cauldron's gonna scream out, "LARGH!" And fire as many icicles as he possibly can into this thing. And this thing, I mean, the drow warrior. To the drow, yes. Yeah. So he blasts them out here. That's three. Two, five. So that's nine damage total. Yep. Alright. Oh my god. Tatiana. Okay, seeing Larg go down, Tatiana is going to again shoot with her shortbow with all lethal intent. That will hit twenty-two. Six damage. Give that damage twelve. So eighteen damage total. Anything else?

No. Brelyn, your turn. Yeah, Brelyn doesn't even care. He runs up in his face and uses his rapier. Wow. Eight's gonna miss. Does that have advantage because Elena's here? Yeah, you do. That's all even worse! Oh my god, you rolled a one. We're gonna drop that one! Yay! Oh no, yeah, we're, let's, we're, we drop that one. So he just recklessly runs up and just starts like, he doesn't even use the rapier for stabbing, he just swings it as it's gonna slash something. And he misses all of them. Jesus Christ. We all shook. We're so shook. Uh, Drow warrior two. Gonna start by targeting Elena.

Twenty damage will hit. Twenty damage? Alright, twenty will hit. Sorry. Sorry. So sorry. Seventeen damage will down Elena. Drow warrior's going to turn his attention to Brelyn. Eleven will miss Brelyn. Elena, give me a death saving throw. Oh my god, I've never had to do one of these. That is one success. Callie. I stepped away to the bathroom and I come back and now everybody's dying. I, Callie's gonna move forward one. And she's gonna target Elena and do Cure Wounds. Second level. Okay. Like that, and then you have to add that D8 please. Uh, ooh, seven plus one. Eight is great.

Eight, it's our first cure. Remember when you were having fun, guys? Oh! Uh, anything else from Callie? No, not that. Holden. Any damage is good damage in this barrage and anger. Holden's just gonna keep shooting out those, uh, bitter cold, uh, icicles. So here we go. Hopefully this does something. Four, two, two. Okay, that's six damage. No, eight damage, sorry. Eight damage. That will kill the last one did it. Wow. Oh, yes. That will kill the last remaining drow that will take you out of combat. He is going to, he is going to scream, "I am Cauldron Halec of the Mountain and you will lay down before me like the reeds in winter." I guess Brelyn would just like drop everything, go to Larg's body and just look at it and like want to touch it.

But like, he's shaking, he doesn't know what to do. Holden will put his hand on, on Brelyn and... Is everyone, is it just Larg that's down? Is everyone else up? Well, I'm awake but still on the floor. Oh, okay. He's gonna wipe the sweat from his eyes and look at everyone and say, "Help me, help me get his body into the cart." At that Tatyana will walk right over and start to pick him up. And Cauldron will try and help too. I mean, he'll probably like grab an arm and lift as much as he can. Can I ask a question? Does any, anyone here have Gentle Repose? I think, uh, that's a spell, right?

No, I don't have, that's a, that's a, one of them, one of them holy spells, I don't have one of those. So the one person who might have had it... Is Larg. Is the one person who needs it. Can I ask one more question? Give me the damn bell, Holden! I was waiting for it. I was gonna, mmm. I think that's... Go right ahead. Okay, well, if we're picking him up and putting him in the cart, As if Brelin looks at Holden and just puts his hand up and says, "Give me the bell." And Holden looks at him and says, "Not yet. But all isn't lost. Just not yet." What do you mean not yet?

He's dead! There's never a better time to do it than now! And then his eyes are gonna glaze white, like when he's gonna cast a spell and he says, He's not gonna say anything, he's just gonna kinda look at him with those pupil-less eyes. [Loud humming] Should Tatiana steal the bell? Oh my god. I think that's a good time for us to stop. [Loud yelling] Yeah, I was gonna say, that's a decision for another game. Wait, what? Wait, what? What happened? Tatiana's not on board with the bell usage, it seems, but I think that's a good time for us to stop for the evening.

Jameson, I am so sorry. We're gonna fix it, bro. You might come back like a half-zombie, but we're gonna fix it. James is cool. [Yawning] Oh, my heart! Well, we've found out how tanky I could be. Oh, my god. It's not over yet, bro. We've got this bell. I should've saved a level 3 and cast the heal at level 3. It would've been more help. That was selfish! I'll say this. If it is in character for anybody to try to resurrect him, then that's fine. But, out of character, I'm cool. Don't worry about me. I think we gotta try. Yeah. Man, we really hope you guys enjoyed today's session.

It was pretty weighty, obviously. If you have feedback for today's episode, make sure to send your emails to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. We will be doing a character chat with Jameson very shortly. That's gonna be going up on our Patreon at patreon.com/dandr. We also just did a character chat with Ian, which was long overdue. We got into all kinds of stuff. I really hope you guys enjoy that. Living in Theory this month was about dragons. We're gonna be doing part 2 of dragons in October this month. And there were about 100 questions.

So, we covered a large range of topics. Everything you could think of for dragons. So again, visit patreon.com/dandr. Check that out. And of course, if you could send in your reviews to iTunes. That is crazy, crazy helpful to us. We really do appreciate it. And next week we'll be back with a brand new episode. We're back on track after DragonCon. Thank you guys for your patience. And thank you for your responses to the surveys last week. That was really helpful. Kind of let us retool our Patreon. We'll be making announcements in the newsletter for that. And yeah, we'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode. brand new episode everybody out there take care