30 Minutes

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(COUGHS) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday, only on Peacock. (MUSIC FADES) Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. -You're the Marine? -Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me.

From the director of Mr and Mrs Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. -Is this your first job? -I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! -What are you doing? -Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. (MUSIC PLAYS) ARK 2, episode 53 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you by you lovely folks at Patreon.com/dandr That's the place to go if you are all caught up in the episodes and you want a little extra content.

For just a couple of extra bucks, you can help support the show and you can net yourself a bunch of stuff to listen to while you're out jogging or in your commute or at work or whatever you do while you're listening to Dungeons & Randomness. Check it out today and be sure to give us your thoughts. (MUSIC PLAYS) (MUSIC FADES) Previously for Group B, while escorting Laric's body back to the town of Dernhollow to see if they could find a cleric to resurrect him, both Brelin and Kaldin decide to take Tepone, a powerful hallucinogenic drug that Kaldin believes can help them get in touch with a god.

With this belief firmly in mind, they both take the drug, having powerful psychotic episodes. So powerful, in fact, that Brelin wakes up with absolutely no memory of anything before two years ago. And that's where we're picking things up today, in a little carriage just outside of Dernhollow. (GROANS) Let's do that thing where we go around the table to introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Valerie. Hi, I'm Valerie and I play Elena, the human fighter. And Alex. Hi, I'm Alex and I play Brelin, the halfling bard.

And Karen. Hi, I'm Karen and I play Kali, the elven druid. And Ian. Hey, I'm Ian, I play Kaldin Halec, the elf sorcerer. And Jamie. Hi there, I'm Jamie, I play Tatiana, the human rogue. And last and certainly not least is Jameson. Hi, I'm Jameson. (LAUGHTER) Aw! If you are in a grocery store, don't talk to him. (LAUGHTER) Is what we found out today. (LAUGHTER) Don't learn his coffee order either. Don't make eye contact. He will attack you. Don't say his name. (LAUGHTER) This is what I get for sharing. No! I love you. There's just a thousand memes that could... Like, if you go to a Starbucks, they just write "Man" on your coffee cup.

They don't... (LAUGHTER) I'm muting. No! We love you. I know. (LAUGHTER) Guys! (LAUGHTER) Sorry. It is the 26th of Yesti. It is late night. You guys are approaching the town of Durnhalle. Reapproaching, I should say. Because it has been an interesting 24 hours for this group. You have a dead lark in the back of your carriage. He's mostly dead. You guys... Well, Kaladin and Braelon just woke up from a drug trip. And we're gonna get into all of that in just a moment. But what I wanna do is set a scene. It's a cool night. Springtime. You guys are approaching the town of Durnhalle.

Most of the lights are out because it's late night again. Um... You just got your wagon back under control after the horses... Well, the donkeys. Sorry, Dusty and Rusty. Got a little frightened after an errant thunderclap went off in the back. And Elena did her best to kind of get the cart under control. Kaladin and Braelon are going to wake up. Slowly. And I imagine they're pretty groggy and kind of getting their wits about them. And if you recall... Braelon... Has pretty much lost all his short-term memory. So we're gonna see how that works out. But I guess what's the first thing you guys would like to do?

Braelon, are we restrained as well? I remember there was some restraint. I know, I'm tied up. There's a ball gag in Braelon's mouth. That's right. There it is. I was just gonna say, if I remember correctly, Braelon was the last to wake up. And we were all sort of huddled around like, "Come on, wake up. You got it, bud." So I assume when he finally awakens, because Tatiana was sort of in charge of looking out for him, she's gonna go over and be like, "Hey, are you OK?" "Who are you?" "Who are you?" She will also take the ball gag out of his mouth. -Oh, yeah.

-As she's... And she's gonna look back at everybody else really confused. And then back to Braelon. "What?" "I'm sorry. Where am I?" "You're..." That would be funny if they said it at the same time. Ready? Say what you're gonna say in three, two, one, all right? Three, two, one. -You're on a call. -You're in Dern-- Hollow. And he looks at both of them. "Uh-huh. OK. That's great." "Why am I tied up?" Oh, sorry. And she's gonna start to untie Braelon. He's gonna cast Thunderclap and try to run away. [laughter] -Not again! -Oh, boy, Howdy. -Oh, my God. -That was so fast.

But I'm untying you. What do we gotta roll? I don't know. Anybody, I don't know nothing. Where am I? Who am I? Jackie Chan? Well, OK. I believe this is-- Oh, boy, Howdy. So... I believe this is a saving throw for everybody, right? Yeah, I'm trying to read which one it is. Constitution saving throw. Whew. All right. Versus your spellcast DC, which is what, 12? Shh. Excuse me, 12? -No. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -Oh. -What is it? -Oh. 14, sir. -14, everybody. 14. -OK. -Oh, on the die. Yeah. -I'm not-- -Oh, sorry, Tatiana. [laughter] I'm the closest, too. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes total sense.

Oh, boy. So, yeah, he's gonna, like, as soon as he untie him, you're just gonna hear him under his mouth whisper the, like-- I guess Thunderclap will just be like the Back to the Future song. It's like, "Duh, duh." It's that chord. He just says it out loud. [laughter] Great picture. Because Tatiana has seen Braelyn use Thunderclap so much that, like, she notices this happening, can't stop it, and just, like, in the middle of that chord, it's like, "You motherfucker!" [laughter] So, for continuity, I need to know. Are we talking the Huey Lewis chord? Or are we talking at the beginning of Back to the Future where he blows out all the speakers?

-No, no. -He was talking Huey Lewis chord. -OK. -The capital musician. So, OK. We don't need money, don't need fame. -Thank you. -OK. -Thank you. -That happens. -OK. -And as I blow one of them away and I see the others just kind of brace, I try and scramble and hop out the back of the leg. Well, shit. Uh, OK. Let's do this, too. How would Dusty and Rusty react? Mm. So, Dusty... is not gonna be hit by this. Um, Rusty's gonna get very spooked. Uh, let's... All right. [laughter] There's damage to take for Tatiana, correct? Yes, there is damage for Tatiana to take. Let's roll that damage first, and then we'll kind of unravel everything else.

-Two. -Hey, OK. That's two damage to Tatiana. That's not too bad. Um... [laughter] This is the second time that this has happened in 24 hours. Honestly, playing totally realistically because it's happened so close together within 24 hours, she's probably suffering from some hearing stuff. For sure. Thunder damage, too. It's like going to a Metallica concert or something. -There's a little tinnitus going on. -What? Your tinnitus is acting up again. Mom. All right. So, everyone else, is it half damage on a save or just fine? No damage. No damage on a save. So it's just big, loud noise.

So, a couple things are going to happen. So, Braylon is going to fire this off, and I imagine kind of like scramble, try to scramble out. This is going to spook Rusty, and Dusty's going to take off with him, because while Dusty is not deaf, did... did hear that big noise. Rusty's going to take a little damage. -So I guess... -I got to roll for him, too. -I guess so. -I don't know how you want to run it, because I think in the past, a long time ago, we've done separate damage, but then more recently, Ian pointed out that it's been one dice for damage for everybody.

Yeah, I think it's... Yeah. Multi rolls for attacks, one roll for damage. So, obviously, two damage to a donkey is going to be significantly more of that hit point total than, say, a Tatiana. So, Rusty's going to take some hits there, and the cart's going to take off again. Okay, at this point, Elena has now been through this twice. Mm-hmm. Where she doesn't really know what's going on back there, because she's the one driving. -Right. -So, the first time, she hears a thunderclap. She's sort of confused, but, like, you know, it seems like everyone has it under control.

Like, she got the donkeys, like, sort of back under control, so it's all good. Then it happens a second time, and the donkeys, like, freak out again. So she's going to sort of, like, turn her, like, head over her shoulder a bit, like, while still trying to handle these donkeys, and being like, and say, "What the fuck is going on back there?" As a Braillen flies out of a moving cart. Yeah, he just, like, through the back of the cart, you just see him in his scraggly hair, like, look like a wild animal corner. [laughter] -Oh, boy. -Uh... Cauldin is going to, like...

He's, like, looking wild-eyed, and he's, like, looking up at Callie, and he looks up, and he's like, "What?" [groans] And he pulls out the gold that he got from the drow, and, like, puts it in her hand, and says, "Take this, find Ellen, do whatever you have to, find a healer for Larg." I can't let Braillen just run out there on his own. Oh, yeah, so I got out then, right? I got out of the cart. I would say Braillen jumped out just before the Dusty and Rusty took off. So what I'm going to ask Cauldin to do is roll a Dex saving throw for me. Oh, man-y!

-Oh, hey, almost there. -Oh, wow! Yeah, you'll hit the ground running, you're fine. So, okay. I do a cool roll, like... and super-puro pose, and then start running. Okay. Alaina, your job is going to be cut out for you. Because I'd say the check to get these donkeys under control was going to be a little more than the first time. 'Cause... I mean, I imagine it took you a little bit, "You got him under control?" It's like, "Oh, it's okay, it's okay." And then it happens again, and it's just... It's like when your dog hears fireworks or something like that, it's like, "Well, that's the night." Like, that type of thing.

So... let's first figure out where these donkeys are going to go. So could you do me a favor and roll a flat D20? I'm going to say that on a 10 or higher, they're just going to take off in a straight line at full speed. Anything less than that, they're going to veer off the trail, and you might have some real problems. Cool. -Oh, hell yeah. -Oh, my God! Wait, do I get something special for this? -For a crit? -Well... Yes, okay. Here's what I'll do. -Hell yeah. -That's a crit. So I'm going to give you a +2 to your Animal Handling check. -Good, I need that. -Okay, good.

Now, they're going to... You're right outside of Durnhalle. So what's going to happen now is these two donkeys are going to take off, and they're going to sprint full board into town. That causes its own problems, if you can imagine. Now... What do you guys want to catch up with first? Do you want to catch up with Braylin and Kaladin, or do you want to handle this cart situation? -It don't matter. -Let the dice decide, then. Okay, Braylin, Kaladin. Okay, so Braylin's head start is incredibly minimal. And he's a little smaller. I guess... Give me an Athletics check, just to see...

Both of you, please. -Athletics... -Oh, with my +0. Ooh, that's a 19. Oh, I have a 0 as well. Been a while since I've run this cart. So I think it's one of those things where it's like, you use all your badass on that roll, that little military combat roll, out of the cart, and it's like... So you're going to start lagging behind a bit. Do you want to call anything out to Braylin, or try to appeal to Braylin's... Yeah, Kaladin, as he's running, I mean, yeah, it feels like Braylin took off, and he's got this, like, fight or flight... like, stuff that's, like, running through him, like, adrenaline, and Kaladin is running behind him, and he's like, "Braylin!

Braylin! Stop! Slow down! What's the matter?" As he's running, he's like... And then he hears his name. He's going to stop, but, like, turn around very cautiously. Kaladin will stop, too, with, like, plenty of space in between them, and he'll, like, hold up his hands, and he's, like, breathing heavy, and he's like, "What's wrong? What's wrong? You're safe. Everything's OK. What's happened?" "I don't know, you guy. Stay back." And I'm going to have my eyes kind of glaze over, like, I'm going to cast one of my... Was it Bane? Yeah, like, the one when I use Bane.

But I'm not using it. I'm just getting ready to cast it. Kaladin puts his hands up, and he's like... And he's like, "I'm... I'm Kaladin. I'm your friend. We're your friends, all of us. What do you mean? You don't know who we are?" Brandon's going to backpedal a little bit. "I don't know who you are. I don't know where I am." He's going to just look around. Oh, my God. "OK, I don't understand what's happening. I think you're stressed out. Um... We're headed to Durnhollow. You were traveling with us. We ingested some... some substance together in our journey. I think that might have something to do with what's going on, but I don't know exactly.

But you're safe. You're not in danger. You're with friends, or you were with friends. I don't know exactly why you were tied up. The ball gag, I'm not sure about. But I think it was for your safety." He's going to look and just, "You drugged me? You drugged me, and I forgot a lot of stuff, right? Is that what happened?" Kaladin's going to rub his forehead, and he's like, "Yes. No, I mean, yes. Yes, you took some drugs, and it seems to be having some side effect, but it was voluntary, totally voluntary." "How do I know that? How do I just shove me with all kinds of stuff?

No, I'm out of here." And he's going to cast Invisibility on himself. Kaladin will look around as he disappears, and he's like, "Bralin, Bralin, whatever you need to know, I'll tell you, but don't run away from us. You're only endangering yourself. We can help." I go and sneak up behind him and hit him, knock him out so I can run away from him more. Oh, my God. Yeah, and Kaladin's just standing there, looking where Bralin was, just trying to see if he can see any footprints or leaves rustling around, any sign about which direction he's gone to, and just screaming out, "Bralin, come back!" Oh, boy.

Well, would you say that Kaladin is... I would say that you're alert, because you're looking for Bralin. So it's not like it's a total surprise, but the fact that... I would imagine you're thinking, "Oh, he ran off," not snuck up behind you. Yeah, definitely. I think he's looking in the direction where Bralin could run away. Okay, Bralin, you want to roll an attack against Kaladin? Sure. I would have an armed attack on my options. Really? I don't, yeah, because I've never used an armed attack. Oh. It's based off strength, right? I believe so. So it would just be a flat d20, because my strength is zero.

Oof. Well, I guess you could have advantage, because you're invisible and he doesn't know what I mean. It's kind of a surprise, a little. Okay. There you go. Well, what's a 13 do for you, Kaladin? Yeah, 16 is my AC. (LAUGHTER) I guess I envisioned it as Bralin, like, he just missed, even though he's right behind him, and just, like, hits his robe. You probably hit him anyway, right? It's just not for any damage. It's like, bonk. Yeah. And Kaladin will turn around and be like, "Ow, Bralin. "Look, I know you're confused. "Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you." No drugs?

No drugs, no drugs. Whatever you got, whatever drugs you have left, throw them on the ground right now. I don't think I have any drugs. Kaladin will turn out his pockets. I don't think he has much on him anyway, being, like, tied down, but yeah, he'll, like, pull out his pockets, show that he's got nothing on him. I don't have anything. Not even a weapon. OK, then he's gonna turn it off. Come back. He's gonna point to your stump. Did I do that? No. No, as far as I know, you wouldn't hurt me. He's gonna laugh? Really? I just tried. I know. I don't know what's going on.

Maybe Kali does. She's with us. She was in the cart. She was helping us. If you are OK, we can go back and try and find out what's happened to you. We can, I don't know, fill you in on the events. I don't know what's going on. Do you really not remember me? Hey, sorry, buddy. I really don't. I don't know a lot of elves. I know that. Do you know who you are? Well, yeah, I'm Childstar Brightport, man. Bralen Goldbuck, I'm surprised. You know, you're not saying my praises. I usually get that a lot. What's the last thing you remember? Jason, what is the last thing I remember?

Well, that'd be a little fuzzy. I wouldn't describe this as you went to sleep one day and then just woke up. It's more of a hazy erasing of the last year or two, something like that. So it would probably be just before you started with group two, like way back in the day. It would probably be, you know what I mean? So it would be somewhere around the fair bay. It's like, I went to fair bay. And like little things. So after the burial then. Yeah, OK. Yeah, so Bralen will think about what you can remember. Ah, I went to fair bay. I buried a good friend there and and then I have been keeping to myself.

He looks back up, I called him. You don't remember us meeting in Ebony Harbor? Oh no, I don't think I've ever been to Ebony Harbor. You don't remember the seal? Like an animal? No, I've never seen a seal before. But you remember. You remember actor onus, you remember Erolove? Ah, one of those. OK, OK. Do you know what to poem is? Is that a verb? Yes, you you to palmed. You took home so hard you forgot. Uh, sorry, no. OK, let's. Let's head back towards the cart. Does that sound OK? Well, I mean, I'm gonna need some insurance to know you're not going to do anything to me.

So about this, you give me your gold. And if I turn out OK, don't get killed, don't get drugged again, I'll get back to you. OK, I don't have anything on me. You saw me turn my pockets out. Do you want me to walk in front of you? Yeah, that's a start. OK. So, Cauldin will like put his hands up. Just to show he's got nothing. Well, put his hand up, I guess, and start walking back towards the cart. And you'll say, OK, come on. I'll try and fill you in. At least what happened the last couple of nights, there's going to be a dead body in our cart and I can explain that.

Britten stops walking. OK. Yeah, there's a dead half-orc in our cart. His name is... You don't remember Larg? No. OK, no, no, I definitely don't remember any dead bodies. Yeah, we had... We were traveling from... We were traveling south to Esterholt. We ran into some people. More on that later. There's a giant helicopter that... We have helicopters in Theria now. We ran into some trouble and one of our friends was killed. We're trying to find a way to undo that. That's why we have a dead body. His name is Larg. Or you killed him, kidnapped me, drug me, and we're going to kill me next, weirdo.

Because you're missing an arm. And that's pretty much like what villains and killers do. They have like, deformities. He's going to kind of back up a little defensively. Keep walking. Cauldron will like reach over to his arm and just kind of like hold it. And you can see like a hurt look on his face a little bit. But he just keeps walking towards the cart. Let's cut back to that cart, because, oh boy, we got a lot to deal with here. Let's start with a DEXTERITY save for both Tatiana and Calli. Tatiana, I want you to roll this DEX save with DISADVANTAGE. How did you know that DEX was like the only good one I had?

Oh, Jesus. Oh, wow. So Calli is going to fall down flat in the back of this cart. Tatiana is going to sort of catch themselves and like kind of surf this out a bit like, holy shit. OK, OK, still deaf. Oh, my God, it's like one of those movie scenes where you see it from the POV with that like ping and everything else is silent. Oh, God. Alayna, here is your situation. OK. You have a careening cart with two scared mules streaking into town. Your job is to get these mules to stop. Before they do any real damage or hurt someone. OK, now one more thing. There is one more item in the back of this cart that could the contents could have shifted during the takeoff.

Jamison, could you do me a favor? Roll a flat T20 for me. Oh, my God. Jason, Jason, Jason, you have no class. Oh, you've known me for long enough to know that that's true. Larg's body is going to slide abruptly out of this cart and just, I would say, land heel first, then slip, then the back of his head is going to pow slam against the dirt. Cart takes off. Alayna, I need you to run a series of checks for me. I think it's time for a skill check challenge to get these damn mules under control. Could you do me a favor? Could you start with an animal handling check?

With the plus two? Yes. OK. Animal handling. Oh, that's a good start. So Alayna is going to get their wits about them pretty quickly. Like, you know, like I would imagine after the turning around, it's like, what the fuck is going on back there? Cart takes off. It's like, oh, God. So you got the reins and you're pulling back. And for now, these mules are not stopping. They are good and spooked. Rusty doesn't know what's going on. He's deaf, took some damage and just took off. Now, there is a small boy that patrols the outer rim of Durnhollow named Vernon. Vernon is holding his hand up to stop this cart.

Whether this cart stops or not before you were to potentially hit Vernon is completely up to you. Jason, you're going to make me kill a child? I'm not going to make you do anything. I'm rooting for you. What do you want me to do? You maniacal bastard. [Laughter] So, Vernon. Vernon is going to hold his hand up. All right, stop. That type of thing. Now, you can barely, barely hear his squeaky, prepubescent voice over the stomping of the hooves of these mules. Just going nuts like that high pitched donkey squeal. And just they're not in control. Now, you have a couple of options here.

You can continue to pull on the reins and speak to these mules and try to calm them down. Or you could maybe try to leap forward onto one of the mules itself and try to maybe, maybe some contact, maybe some, some like, oh, let's, let's, let's, let's pet them. Maybe that'll help. Before you have to make this decision, I would say that Callie and Tatiana, as of now, Tatiana still deaf. Callie is going to write themselves. Now, what would their reaction be to all of this? You're going to see Larg slide out of the back. Oh, God. And you're going to, you're going to leave him in the dust.

Literally, there is a lot of dust kicked up. Kaldin and Breland are missing, the cart is out of control, and you're going to start to see houses breeze by as you streak toward town. And it's pretty obvious, like the, the donkeys, like aren't going to stop. It's pretty, it's pretty obvious that they are really good and spooked. Like you got lucky last time getting them under control so quickly. Now, this is, I'd say the science is in enough for them that they're like, no, this is going to keep happening. Fuck it. Let's get away from it. That type of thing.

That's just their thought process right now. Can I cast a spell? What do you want to cast, Karen? Karen, what are you doing? I have this thing called Entangle to restrain creatures. Can I cast that? You try to like stop the donkeys. What's the range on that? Um, 90 feet. Okay. And it's a 20 foot square. Uh huh. So like in a section ahead that I think we are rapidly approaching. Uh huh. Cause I just don't feel confident, like Calli does not feel confident in her abilities to maybe climb up to the front to help with these horse, or these donkeys. Well, the problem is that you're in a covered section of this, this wagon here, which means you wouldn't be able to see.

Oh, okay. Sorry. I was thinking the front was like open. Right now you could totally climb up front with, uh, with Elena. I know, but you're gonna make me roll a Dex check. And it's not good. I mean, Elena could get control of this cart before. All right. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to crawl up there and help her. How's that? Okay. Give me a dexterity check. Great. Oh, that is a 20. So understanding the situation and pretty much taking stock of everything. It's like, oh, this whole situation's on fire. Calli is going to spring into action, kind of push past Tatiana just a little bit, not rudely, just like, excuse me, like just kind of brush past.

You're like sure to use her to steady herself too, cause Tatiana's doing pretty good. Like, yeah, Tatiana's great at standing up. Like just, uh, so, oh boy, howdy. So here's, what's going to happen. Uh, while, while Calli is climbing up into the driver's position with Elena. Elena, what is Elena doing? What did you decide? So, um, Elena doesn't really know like what's going on back there. Like she doesn't know that like literally half of the people that used to be in the back of the cart aren't in the back of the cart anymore. Right. She's so focused on like trying to get these donkeys under control.

She has literally no clue what's going on. So she's, she's really, really focused on these donkeys. I don't think she would try and like jump on one or whatever your suggestion was. I think she's just going to, um, you know, just, just really try and pull in the reins and maybe like speak to them nicely. But, and Elena doesn't know how to like speak to animals nicely. So it'd probably just be like, guys, calm down. Oh my God, please stop. Okay. Well, I'll give you a choice. I'll let you, I'll let you either pull the reins to one side or the other to try and avoid the small child.

Or I'll let you do an animal handling check to try and calm the mules down. Um, I'm... Okay, she's going to try and like pull the reins to away from the child. Okay, give me a strength check. I can do that. Yeah. Oh, can't really do that. Oh, that's only a 12. So, you know, Elena is going to pull to one side and try to get these mules to just go off course, which could be devastating in a different way. But at least you won't be killing a child. And these mules are so focused. They are not responding to this at all. Tatiana, what would you be thinking and feeling right about now?

Honestly, like the most realistic reaction I can think of is the fact that she is dealing with this sort of pinging in her head and all of the jostling of the cart. I think the only way she would be able to have made that role is if she was like hunkered down like she is bracing herself. Gotcha. It's like, I understand there are things happening, but I need to make sure I don't die, please. You are. Quickly approaching Vernon. Callie. Yeah. Now, this is an interesting position that you're in. Because normally when you're casting a spell like this, you are stationary.

You kind of can see the area you want to cast and you just want to throw it out there. Now, because you're moving at a really decent clip, 90 feet is going to go by pretty quickly. So this is going to take some concentration on your part. Now, normally this is just a spell you cast, correct? Yeah. Okay. So let me check. Let me check something really quickly. I think there's a save DC. Uh huh. There's a strength throw save. Oh boy. Okay. Okay. Here's what I want you to do. Okay. I want you to roll an Arcana check for me. As long as it's not eight or lower, you're going to be fine.

You'll cast it right out. Okay. No modifier. The flat roll. Holy shit. 20 again. Fate wants you to save Vernon. Yes. So here's what we're going to do. Oh my God. About 90 feet in front of you, these thorny branches and vines are going to start to sprout up from the dirt road. It is, it's a freaky sight and Vernon's going to be a bit spooked because every time he's waved somebody down, with a few exceptions, most times people stop. You're not stopping. And he's kind of like panicked standing there in the road. And then these branches and vines are going to...

They are going to sprout up in the road here. Now here's the rub. Yeah. All these mules have to do is fail this save. Yeah. And I'm going to have them slow down to the point where Alina is going to get advantage. Okay. Does that sound fair? Well, I did have to cast it at a second level because I don't have any more level one slots. So do they get disadvantage? Well, that's... Wow. Okay. What is... Huh. I don't believe there's any change to the spell unless the spell says so. Okay. I don't believe so. But you know what? Let me read through here. These plants in the ground are in difficult terrain, the creature in the area can dispel the success.

Okay. So they just got to pass a strength saving throw. Yeah. Karen, what if you cast it just on the cart? Well, I'm casting it on a section of the ground that I could see. So even if they fail or if they save, could we also have one for the cart as well? So if they run through it... Well, the entire reason it'd be... Okay. So the entire reason this would be difficult terrain is because it's thorny vines and stuff. And if you've ever run through a sticker bush, that slows you down pretty quickly. The cart won't feel pain, so it's not enough to stop it. But here's what we're going to do.

This is where it gets a little confusing because mules get advantage on strength and dexterity saving throws. Oh my God. But what we're going to do, because you rolled a 20 on your Akana check, I'm just going to have it be a flat saving throw. Thank God. And since their stats are the same, I'm just going to have them throw once. Okay. Okay. It has to be below a 15. So 15 or higher and they save. Yeah. Okay. Are you guys ready? No. Are you doing one roll per mule or are you doing one roll for both mules? I was going to do just one roll for the two mules. Just one.

Because I figure that that kind of evens everything out where, you know, if one of them were to fail and one of them were to save, then that just makes everything confusing. So this is just their working as one for this. Okay. For a unit. Yep. Here we go. I can't breathe. Oh my God. Poor Vernon. They rolled a crit. This will not slow them down in the least. And they are closing in on Vernon again. Vernon is just stunned, shocked. He really should be in bed right now. But he's like, this is one of those things where he sneaks out at night to guard the town that like, he's really, he's protecting the turn hollow and he's doing his part.

Elena. Yeah. Not to put any pressure on you. I'm going to give you one more chance to stop this cart. Can you please give me an animal handling check? Do I get any bonuses or something? At this point, I would say no. Okay. But as I try to like get the animals under control again, like she's like, she sees where she's going. Yes. And so, you know, while she's, you know, tugging on these reins, she's also going to be yelling out to this child who she doesn't know why he's dressed like that and why he has his arm out. It's all very confusing. Or actually, did we meet him?

Yes. Just kidding. Remember Calvin told him to go to a whorehouse. What? That's not what I did. No, he told him he needed to start frisking women. That's what it was. Yes, that's what it was. That's not what I did. Then he strangled a cat in front of him. Fake news. Okay, so actually Elena knows him by name, knows his family, and is going to be yelling at him. Move, get out of the way as she's like tugging and doing her best to slow these donkeys down. Oh boy. Okay. Oh, okay. I'm glad you said that. So that's an eight on animal handling. These donkeys ain't stopping.

But I'm okay. Because you did that, I want you to do me a favor and roll a persuasion check. If it's high enough, it might be enough to snap Vernon out of his stupor. But Jason, my persuasions are zero. I'm doing everything I can for you, Val. Okay. Got it. Oh, that's even worse. That's a three. The donkeys and cart are going to momentarily hit a stutter as they run over Vernon in the middle of the street and continue into town. Now, Cauldron, Braylin, boy, howdy. So you're continuing toward Dern Hollow, correct? Yeah, we're hoofing it. Can we see the cart? Oh, you're a ways from seeing the cart.

However, there is something laying in the middle of the road that I think you'd make out. Oh, yeah. Cauldron will look over his shoulder to Braylin and say... Well, first, in his head, he's thinking like, "Oh no, what's happened? What's gone on? Bargh's on the ground here." But he's going to look over to Braylin and point with his arm and say, "There, that's the body I was telling you about." What? Why is it in the middle of the street? Well, that is a question that I think we both have. And then Cauldron will jog over to Larg's body just to make sure it's okay and everything.

I don't think he can lift it, but he can certainly brush off the dust and examine it. Oh, boy. Yeah, this is problematic. All of this is problematic. Yep, how's he looking? I mean, he's seen better days. I... okay, not that this matters, I guess, but like... Let's roll damage on Larg? Five damage to Larg. So like, I'd say the back of his head might be bleeding. I cast Mending? Shoot. Okay, hold on one second, because I didn't want to do this, but Jamie brings up a really good point in the chat. Yep. Uh... Larg might ragdoll a bit, and I guess... Well, let's roll for Larg's dignity.

Oh, no. Jameson, I want you to do me a favor and roll a flat d20. The lower the roll, the less dignified the position that Larg would have fallen into. All right, before I roll this, I want to make it clear this is the absolute definition of kicking a man when he's down. Okay, I want to make it clear. I love you very much. I look forward to working with you on new projects coming up soon. And this has nothing to do... Fuck. God damn it. Whatever this is... His ass is just in the air. But you do have sunglasses on, Alwilith and a Bernice. And a Hawaiian shirt somehow.

Yeah. All right, I'm muting so I can swear. God damn it. What even is this episode? Okay, that's a five. Okay. So when Kaladin and Brelin walk up to this body, it will not be lying flat. It's kind of posed almost in a sensual position with... It's laying kind of on its side with one of the legs kicked up and both arms are sort of like lying back, right? So it almost looks like if Larg were alive, he's cradling his head seductively, like with his fingers thatched between the back of his head, like he's been waiting for you in the road this entire time. That is not the case, obviously.

He's very dead. Kaladin will sigh. This isn't the first time he's seen Larg pose like this. Dead or alive. No, just joking. Just joking. Kaladin will sigh. He'll go over to the body and go like kneel down, try and like take some piece of cloth. Is there like a... Is there some kind of... Did we wrap him up or something? Is there something? Yeah, I'd say all that slid out. Like it's just... Yeah. Yeah, he's gonna take some of that and like rip a little thing and like try and get the blood to at least be stopping from the head and try and like prop him up and he'll turn to Braelyn and be like, because he's just got one arm and he'll say, can you help me get him just laying down?

Yeah, sure. I guess. But I'll help him out. So I guess we wait here. With the dead guy? With the dead guy. I mean, unless you want to try and carry him back, just the two of us and look out toward Dernhollow and the dimness of the midnight. Where are we going? Or where are you taking me? Well, we're not taking you anywhere and we were traveling together. You and I, Callie, Tatiana and Elena and Larg. As you can see, we had some trouble and we're trying to fix it. Going back to Dernhollow to do that. You keep saying these names like I'm going to know who these people are.

I didn't. I really have no idea. And Kalden will like squint at me and be like, wait, is this a thing? Are you trying to pull something on me? No, sorry, buddy. This is 100% genuine. So you don't remember anything? Boy. Well, all right, we're going to sit here. We're going to wait for these people to come back. And I guess what do you want to know? Well, first off, you know, who the hell are you? How do you know me? Second off, do I know this dead guy and how well? And third, I guess why I'm here. OK, that's a lot to unpack, but I'll try and do my best. Actually, if you don't mind.

Yeah. Would you say that for the next several minutes, Kalden is just going to kind of expose it to Breland? Yeah, I think you just like. I think the only thing that he would leave out at the moment is that the Black Hand are like the Black Hand stuff. OK. That there is like a threat that like that happened. I think you would tell you would tell Breland, obviously, like these assassins came out and like were trying to kill us for stuff that that we did in this big long past. But I don't think he would try and like give him any more stress that than he already has right now.

Right. Kind of layered on. Yeah. Slowly. OK, let's jump back to Dernhollow because, oh boy. OK. Now, do you want the good news or the bad news first? No news is good news. If we all just stay quiet, maybe he'll go away. [Laughter] OK, let's start with the bad news. The bad news, obviously, is that Vernon is going to take a significant amount of damage, at least potentially. Now we're dealing with a bit of an element of luck, but let's be honest, this is an 11 year old child being trampled by two mules. The only upside is that Dusty and Rusty were not full fledged horses.

Now, I am going to roll to see how many hit points Vernon had, because to be honest, I never pictured a scenario where Vernon would be taking damage. But let's see. Vernon had four hit points. Now, any damage I roll for these mules is pretty much going to eat those four hit points up. So what we're going to do is we're going to give Vernon one last fighting chance. Vernon wore an oversized helmet. Now there is a chance that at the very least that protected his skull enough that this wasn't a killing blow. What I'm going to do is roll a saving throw for Vernon.

Now, this is a constitution saving throw. On an 11 or higher, he is going to be clinging to life with two death saving throws. We're talking he's dying. Anything lower than an 11 and Vernon is dead on impact. Are we ready? There is no modifier for the saving throw. That is a 19. That does not deal with the problem of this runaway cart, which is still very much in motion by the way. At this point, let me paint a picture for you. You have crossed the barrier. You've crossed the border into Durn Hollow. You have trampled Vernon. You are going to hear screams as you careen into town.

And if you were to look behind you, I guess, Tatiana, could you do me a favor roll a perception check? Jesus Christ. All Tatiana is going to see is a couple of individuals run toward the lump in the road. Ah, boy, howdy. You are moving at a really decent clip through town here. A lot of bad stuff can happen. Now, Durn Hollow is not a huge town and you're running right down Main Street. So the best you can hope for is one of two options that you stop these damn mules dead and you just stop in the middle of Main Street or you keep going and don't hit anything else.

Could you do me a favor, Alayna, and roll an animal handling check? Okay. I don't know which one I'm rooting for because both of them seem to have upsides and downsides. They do. Yeah. Are you going to see something, Karen? Oh, I was going to see before, like, literally as soon as the horse or the donkeys in the cart hit, I think Callie would throw herself off the cart. Really? Yeah. To get to that little kid. Okay. Or, like, jump off of it and try to land cool, but she's not that cool, so it's probably going to look like her, like, throwing herself off the cart.

Okay, so before impact, you're bailing. No, no, like after. After the impact. After the impact. Well, you could do me a favor and give me an athletics check or an acrobatics check to see, like, how this works because there's a chance you could nail it. Cool. Nope. Oh, my God. And Callie hits her head and is unconscious. Well, that's a crit one with no modifier. So Callie's going to bite it hard. Callie is going to... So the sequence of events is, "Holy shit, get out of the road, kid. Get out of the road." Boom. Callie leaps off of the cart, leaving only Elena and Tatiana in this cart.

Now, Callie's foot is going to get caught on the seating of the cart as you leap. So Callie is going to land head first in the road and then roll. So what I'm going to do is roll 3d8 damage for Callie. Perfect. 15 damage. 15 damage to Callie. That is going to eat up almost half of your hit points. So this is a bad tumble. Elena, what's going through your head right now? It's good that she doesn't know that, like, now there's only two of them. That, like, now there's only one person left behind. Because right now she only thinks that only Callie jumped out.

But I mean, I think she's so, like, shocked and worried and freaking out that she, like, sort of just sees Callie, like, fall off the side of the cart. And she just she doesn't have any time to dwell on it because she just ran over a kid and these donkeys are still running full speed. So I don't think she has a chance to really process what just happened. Wow. Okay. I'm gonna ask that you please roll an animal handling check. Cool. Cool. Cool. Great session, guys. Oh my God. That's a 4. Okay, so, Jesus. Sequence of events again. Vernon is struck. Vernon is lying basically where the main gate would be if Durn Hollow was the type of town to have a main gate.

I'd say 20, 30 yards after that, Callie is going to leap from the cart, catch her foot, land head first, roll, take a massive amount of damage. The cart is going to continue. What is going through Tatiana's mind? Well, here's the thing is Tatiana still can't hear. She didn't see Callie fall out of the cart. I picture her as sort of like back to Elena, who's driving. So she's seeing everything in reverse as to what's happening, you know? Yeah. Like, what is she seeing in reverse? Are like townspeople freaking out and stuff? Because if... Well, I mean, from the beginning, it would be you're gonna be able to see the ground moving at a decent clip behind you.

Then you would see some houses. So you know that you're in a residential neighborhood. You're in town, you know that you were heading to Durn Hollow. I don't think it'd take a rocket scientist to figure this out. And then you'd see that lump in the road and people running toward it. And you'd see buildings and shops and things like that. You know you're in Durn Hollow. Okay, so she would be aware that, okay, this is like something's not right. This is crazy. This is crazy out of hand. So she's probably gonna try to pull her way towards the front of the cart and grab onto Elena's arm and just sort of yell through the chaos, "What do we do?" Elena's gonna yell back, "I don't know!" And are they on a route of which we can see they're going to eventually crash this cart?

Well, again, because of the setup, I guess this is the best possible case scenario. The setup of Durn Hollow isn't winding streets. It's one big main street and everything's sort of on and off the thoroughfare. So you guys will be leaving Durn Hollow shortly. Okay, so there isn't like a building that we're gonna hit in the center of town or anything. Nope. You are heading back. So, oh god, you'd be heading back toward the Divide. Okay. Um, oh god, oh god, I don't know what to do. I mean, okay, so Tatiana is gonna climb up front with Elena. Do me a favor. Give me a Dex check.

Okay. If Tatiana falls out of this cart, I swear. Nah, she's fine. I'm pretty dexterous. She's totally fine. Okay, so I make it up there? Yeah, I got a question. So when Elena shouts, "I don't know," I'm kind of doubting Elena would be facing Tatiana. Oh no, she's looking straightforward. So Tatiana wouldn't hear a response. That's why she climbs up front. Okay, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, yeah, I know there's a lot going on. I just want to keep it all together. Because yeah, she, she probably cannot hear anything. Imagine how disconcerting that is to like see that there is an out of control cart, to see like people move around, but you can't hear a thing.

Oh, that's so, ugh, I don't like that. Can she try to, can Tatiana try to like assist with grabbing these reins or? I don't, I don't, I don't know. I'm not on animal handle. Yes, you absolutely can. Okay. I'm going to do a thing. Because eventually this, this deafness could wear off. You know what? Do me a favor. Give me a constitution saving throw. Okay. Okay. So Tatiana's hearing is going to start to come back, but it's very muffled and there's a huge ring in her ears and stuff like that. Now you guys are approaching the outskirts of town again. You're breezing right through everything.

Darnell is not a big town and it's going to, you know what I, I guess, Alayna. Do me a favor, roll an animal handling this time with advantage because Tatiana's helping. Okay. Okay. Still not great. It's that's okay. It's okay. That's not bad. If this doesn't work, we, we got to jump man. Oh my gosh. So these, these donkeys are making noise, right? And they're, you could tell that you're, you're working toward getting them back under control, but it's not quite there yet. You are going to leave the town of Durnhollow. Let's, let's jump back to Callie. Yes. What is going through your head?

Um, to get to that small child. Okay. So she's going to like pick herself up and like limp her, start limping her way over. Cause she hurts. So your head's probably ringing. You're probably scraped up and bloody and you're just. Oh yeah. Hip head first. So she probably has like a bloody nose. Oh boy. Howdy. So, uh, Callie's going to start limping, um, a few dozen yards back toward this boy. Now, uh, there are a couple of people crowded around and everything you think is happening right now in your head. I'm not going to paint too vivid a picture is happening.

I guarantee you a lot of, you know, shouting to the gods. They're very worried. There's tears. This kid is not doing well to, to, to, to put it mildly. What's Callie's move? Uh, Callie is going to push her way through, um, or try to, and she wants to cast cure wounds on this kid. Okay. Do you have any spell slots? I have one second level cure wounds left. Wow. That is it. So. Well, okay. Let's do a thing. Okay. I mentioned that Vernon had two failed saving throws. Now in the time it would have taken you to fall out of the cart, stumble up to your feet and then limp over to this child.

I think I'm going to have to have Vernon roll a death saving throw. I'm look, I don't want to do this. I crit failed for this. I know, but the problem is you crit failed, which means it took even longer to stand up and all this stuff. So here we go. He's got a 50 50 shot. Are you ready? Everyone put your good vibes in the, in the pot here. This is everyone. Let's go. He will save. Okay. He is going to be breathing very shallowly when Callie gets to him. And I imagine these people are reacting. They're panicked and grief stricken at the same time. They don't know what's going on.

They're shouting for a healer to come. And they're just, they're very distraught. And then Callie's going to limp up out of nowhere. And they're probably going to look at Callie like, who the fuck are you? Are you on that cart? That type of thing. Or did you get hit? They might even be thinking maybe you got hit by the cart. So they're not lashing out at you, but they are. They're probably, they don't know that you're a healer. So I'm imagining that you're pushing, you're pushing them aside a little bit. Yeah. Okay. I should probably say like, move. Roll some roll, I guess.

Like I don't really need to, you know, I mean, not everything's left up to chance. You're going to heal this kid. Okay. I just, you know what, for me, I just like want to know how much, like how much he's actually healed. And then- Remember, it's a second level. Yeah, it's an extra d8. Oh, that's good. That'll more than heal him. So- I'm out, guys. Okay. I am going to paint a bit of a picture for this. Vernon had some broken bones. I would imagine that the helmet probably spilled off to its side. The little spear he was holding is like off to the side, and like he's probably covered in blood and all that.

Calli is going to heal him, which is not going to get rid, is not going to get rid of the blood. But you're going to hear the crack and snap of bones resetting and healing. And this kid's breathing is going to improve, and he's slowly going to open his eyes. And the people around him are just going to freak out. Just kind of like that complete collapse as your just total relief watches over you. Like, oh, thank the gods. Like, and they're just going to fall over this kid and start crying. And Calli is going to do it like the opposite. She's going to collapse backwards and just move herself away from them.

And I would imagine it wouldn't be too long until they kind of grab hold of Calli and thank her profusely. Man, she's so awkward. Okay, let's jump back to the cart. Vernon's safe. Thank god. You have left the town of Durnhollow. Thinking that we killed a kid. Yeah, I guess that would be your... Now... We got to keep running, Mount Thelma. Just keep going. This is not good. So the path is going to start to narrow a bit. Now, along this path, if you remember, there are big rocks and things like that. If you don't get control of these mules soon, you could have a big accident on your hands.

Now, you're not going to run anything leaving town, but you probably only have a couple hundred yards, something like that, before this is going to break to the left a bit. And with no control over these mules, you're just going to keep going. What's the plan? I mean, because I know, Jamie, you mentioned that we might have to bail, but Elena doesn't know that there's no one else in the cart. So I don't know. I don't think even if you told her to just jump, if she would, because she thinks everyone else is still in the back. So Elena would just keep trying to wrangle the animals.

And Tatiana would have no reason to think that she would need to explain anything to Elena at this current time. Right. Like, obviously. Right. So at this point, you have tried several times to get these donkeys under control. They have not. And I don't know how much stick-to-itiveness Tatiana would have, but with both of you pulling on the reins and them still not stopping, at what point would Tatiana just say jump? I don't think that she would jump until there was an imminent threat. Like if there was like a tree that they are definitely going to crash into or anything like that, because I mean, I don't just want to ditch a cart.

Carts are expensive, guys. Yeah. And donkeys. So I think practically she would want to try to, as much as she could, help to salvage as much as possible. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you another chance to try and stop these donkeys. If you fail to stop them, then we got a problem. But right now, let's work on the assumption that this is the charm. Third time. Here we go. You're going to stop them. Elena. It won't. Okay. Is Tatiana continuing to pull back on the reins with Elena? Oh, yeah. She would still assist. Okay. Elena, do me a favor. Roll an animal handling check with advantage.

Okay. Oopsies. Oh, just kidding. They are still not stopping. Now, this road is going to break to the left. It's a gradual break. But the problem is the reason it breaks to the left like that is there. There's a bit of a cliff. It's not a crazy Wile E. Coyote steep cliff. But if you sailed off this and started to go down, there's a very good chance that you, the donkeys, and the cart would just start flipping end over end and careen into Pyre Forest. You have a choice to make now. Do you make one last desperate attempt to save the cart and the donkeys and stop just before this cliff?

Or do you jump for it? Tatiana would definitely say, Elena, we have to go. We got to jump. Yeah, Elena would jump and we'll deal with her mental state on that later. Good Lord. Do me a favor. Both of you roll a dexterity saving throw. Oh, no. God damn it. Okay. Okay. That's not the worst, because if you were to roll a one, we would have bigger problems. Okay. It's a 10. Yes. Yes. No, no, it's a 10. It's a 10. So Tatiana is going to fall and probably take a tumble. Not as bad as Callie's, but definitely take a tumble. Elena is going to land relatively unscathed. Dusty and Rusty are going to continue panic stricken running toward this cliff, and they're going to attempt to stop, but they will not stop in time, and they're going to sail over the edge.

You are going to hear the cart flipping and flipping, shattering into thousands of pieces as this steep cliffside here is just going to consume everything. How about we jump back to Braylin and Kaladin, I guess. Kaladin's like, any minute they'll be here with the cart. Dusty and Rusty, let those good boys come. We'll just load them right up. Go back to Darn Hollow. You know, you keep saying that. Oh, no, they're coming. They're definitely coming. I just want the arrested development narrators. Like, they weren't. Yeah, I think we just wait there. So just continuing to explain things, trying to brief Braylin on things.

Yeah, he'll be listening to very intently like, oh, oh, OK. Yeah, I probably would have done that, I guess. Yeah, and I think Kaladin will be, let's say like, he'll film all this and more importantly, most importantly, Braylin, like, even I don't know why you don't remember, but we're friends. We're all friends here. And I don't know what we can do to make you trust us, but we don't. We're not going to do anything to try and hurt you of that. I give you my word. OK, yeah, that kind of makes sense. He's going to look through like he's going to lean back a little and then I'm assuming like in my coat.

There's like a pocket, you know, like kind of just suddenly reach in there and pull out all his little journal that he's been drawing and writing all the stuff since I think the start of season two here. Yeah. And just like, oh, and like show it to Kaladin. This is mine. And Kaladin's eyes will light up and he's like, yeah, that's that's your journal. You wrote about Larg, you wrote about Arathis, everything. He's going to open it up and start going through the pages. He'll see like little illustrations of Larg when he drew on the back of his helmet. The fair at Fair Bay, like the whole carnival, he'll have like a clipping of that flyer for the restaurant or whatever the hell we ate at.

I kind of... OK. There's evidence here, but I just I can't remember. I don't know what happened, but look, I swear to you, because I'm your friend, because we're all your friends. We'll find a way to get your memory back. We've got a lot on our plate right now, but I swear that to you. OK, sure. Ah, and that arm thing, is that something that we can get fixed or is that you were born like that? More problems on the road, I'm afraid. And we're working to take care of that. But that's this guy here and he pats Larg on chest, like puts his arm up and is like this high on the list.

This right here and he pats his arm and goes like way, way low. This this high on the list. Your memory higher somewhere up here. All right. Yeah, let's let's see about getting our friend and he puts up air quotes, resurrected or at least, if not that, put to rest. Let's let's pick up with Callie. Oh, boy. OK, at this point, the sheriff would probably arrive on the scene shouting to Tiefling Woman, just kind of shouting, what the hell is going on? And probably run over to Vernon just to just to check on him. And then seeing that Vernon is alive, would start to put things together.

But we definitely want to be briefed on the situation. But first, it's like get him inside. He's not even supposed to be out this late at night. And then I think I think all eyes are going to be on Callie because Callie looks the next worst. Yeah. What would Callie say? Um, sorry, I was just looking back at my notes. How we met the sheriff before. I can't remember. I don't believe you have. OK, that's what I was thinking because I didn't see notes. Um, oh, boy. She is going to look super guilty. But she is just going to say, I am so sorry. I don't know what happened.

Our donkeys lost control and they just they wouldn't stop. The sheriff is going to ask, where are they now? They went there. They're gone. My other travel. Oh, my God. I can't talk. Sorry. My friends, they were in it and it just there is still going. She's going to look down the road and kind of motion to the woman standing next to Callie and just look at her. Can you take care of her? And the woman is going to nod. And the sheriff is going to take off and jump on the back of a horse and start streaking down the road. The woman standing next to Callie, if Callie hasn't got up yet, will offer her a hand up.

Oh, yeah, she'll take it. Yeah, this woman's got brightly colored hair, human. She's going to say, I'm Ava. Hi, I'm Callie. And she's going to look around. I just closed up for the night, but come on into my shop. We'll get you patched up and I'm sure the sheriff's going to take care of your friends. Oh, I'm okay. Thank you. I need to find a woman named Ellen. Do you know if she's still here? And there's going to be this weird moment where she's looking around. I can look for her. Just come on, get off the road for now. And I'll go out and look for her. Okay. And she'll let her lead her, I guess.

Okay, so she's going to lead you to a shop called Better Than Goods. It's kind of a play on words that has not taken off too well in town. Oh. Yeah. And she is going to unlock the door. And there is a very, very young girl just on the other side who's going to greet this woman. She can't be older than two. Yeah. And Ava's going to walk in and I would imagine she's helping Callie the whole way, especially if she's still limping, just kind of like, you know, just guiding like, it's okay. Come on, have a seat. And as they brush her side, she's going to kind of put her hand on the little girl's head.

It's okay, Thena. It's okay. This is mommy's new friend. And she is going to... She's going to say, this is Callie. And she's going to look at Callie. She's like, could you keep an eye on Thena for just a couple of seconds while I look around town? Oh, yeah, of course. Thank you so much. And she is going to close the door and sort of streak off. Again, it's all very, it's all very like, adrenaline's pumping. Everything seems to be on fire. And yeah. Yeah. And then I think, like, Callie would... This kid, I'm like, I'm like thinking like where my kid is right now.

Like this kid's probably walking. So she'll probably just get down on the floor. And if there's like any like small toys around, she would just play with this child. Yeah, there'd be a couple of like, yeah, wooden, you know, like, wooden toys. Like stacking things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, so the kid's barely speaking, like, you know, like, it's very hard to lisp and stuff like that. But kind of treats everyone as friendly. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Okay. How did we get here, by the way? I don't know. I have no clue what happened. I have one word. This was my fault.

Yeah, this is definitely my fault. Thank God Bernie survived. Remember before the session when I was saying we were due for things to actually work out? That was fun. Hey, you never know. So I was at the Discord and Dashiek's like, I think the Breland issue is going to be a major problem. Yes, it was. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You have no idea. Good job, David. So in world, about 20 minutes has passed. Oh, God. I just want to throw that out there. Now, let's get back to the thing I originally had planned. I need some group members to make some rolls for me.

And I'm fucking terrified because you guys, luck does not seem to be on your side, but I need three rolls potentially. Now, the first one is, has Ellen left town yet? Oh, God, we haven't gotten there. We haven't done that yet. No. Jameson. Give me a flat d20, please. The lower the number, the greater the chance that she's taken off. The lower, the better? No, the worse. No, higher, the better. Okay. Okay, that's an 11. We'll get to that. Now, I'm going to ask Alex to roll another flat d20 for me. These are the odds of there being a cleric in town that could help with this situation.

Oh, sorry, Jameson. The higher, the better. I believe in you. Oh, sorry. Oh, no. That's a four. Now, let's say that there was a cleric in town that isn't Ellen. Let's see what their willingness to help with this situation would be. Valerie, do me a favor, roll a flat d20. The higher, the better. Haven't I done enough, though? You know what? You have. No, I'll roll it. I just thought that would be a funny thing to say. Okay. 11. Oh my God, above average for all of us. We're still above average, guys. That's not bad. Yeah, I live my life as a C+ student. I'll have you know, I did just fine.

I would say 15 minutes are going to go by. And back into the shop, Ava's going to arrive. And Ellen is going to be with her. Ellen is confused and probably greets Callie. Probably like one, "Are you okay?" would be the first words out of her mouth. I'm okay. Just a little bumped, but I'll be okay. Where is everyone else? So Callie is going to say we are on our way back and our cart allows control. So some of the group is back towards us, like on the road to Esterhole. And a couple of them went in the opposite direction. But we came back because we had trouble.

And she like stops because she doesn't want to be the one to break the news. Ellen is immediately going to think that the trouble was you got hurt. She is going to kind of crouch down next to next to Callie. It's okay. I can heal you. And she's going to be like, "I'm going to go to the hospital." And everything will be all right. Jason, I don't want to do this. I'm sorry. Callie is... She is just going to shake her head and I'm okay. I'll be okay. It wasn't me. It was Larg. Well, now several thoughts are going to occur. One, I don't see everybody else yet. Two, what happened to Larg?

And I think it would be several moments of her eyes pinballing back and forth, just kind of looking around. What happened? We were sleeping and there were some assassins that showed up and there was a fight. She's doing this thing where she's picking at her fingers, very nervous. And she won't look Ellen in the eye at all. And Larg, he didn't make it. Oh boy. I would say that it would take a few seconds for that to register, for that to wash over Ellen. And she's going to grab the handle of this door and sort of jerk it open and walk out into the street.

And she's going to call back to Callie, which way? Yeah, so Callie will follow her because Eva's back. So there's somebody with a small child, correct? Yes. Okay, so Callie will follow her out and start leading her back towards where they came from. Oh my god, this is crazy. Do me a favor, give me an athletics check. Sure. Where? There it is. Cool. I'm still limping. You're still limping a bit. Oh golly. Let's jump back down the road. Which way? Tatiana! Elena! Tatiana, you're going to take 15 damage. Elena, you're going to take one. So I would say a lot of dust has been kicked up.

You took some lumps. You're probably going to get up and start to kind of dust yourself off a bit. What would be the first thoughts going through your head? Elena is going to immediately run over to Tatiana and sort of help her stand back up. And she's going to be really, really frantic. And she's going to say, "Come on, we have to get down there. We have to get everybody. Make sure everybody's okay. We have to go down that way. Come on, we have to go now." And Tatiana at this point is honestly just so aggravated because she has been deafened twice. She's been thrown from a runaway cart, beaten, and has been unconscious.

And she's just going to sort of like, not because she's mad at Elena, but because she's just so frustrated, she's going to like allow Elena to help her up and then sort of like push her away. And just be like, "What are you talking about? Everybody's back there." And she's going to point back towards the road. Elena's going to immediately stop and sort of tilt her head. It'd be like, "What? No, no, the cart just went over." And she's going to sort of look back towards the cliff and back to Tatiana. Everyone was in the cart. No, Elena. Everybody got out of the cart or was thrown from the cart.

They're back in town. We have to go get them. Elena's going to look one more time towards the cliff and think about how not everybody got out of the cart. And she's going to look back at Tatiana and she's going to say, "Okay, then let's go back into town." And Tatiana would definitely like start rushing back towards town. But just for like some extra ambiance, do we hear anything coming from the cliff? Like donkey sounds or is it like completely silent? Because that might change. Like, I don't know. I can't decide. Well, here's the thing. We can roll for it, but if we don't- No, screw it.

Just go to town. Just go to town. Just go. Okay. Like booking it to town, even though honestly, Tatiana's pretty beat up, guys. Like, let's not get in a fight anytime soon. Okay? Thanks. Oh, dude, your fighting days are all over. No one's ever fighting again. So the sheriff is going to ride up on you guys. I'd say part way, you're starting to walk back and she is going to probably inspect the scene, see what's going on. Just she's going to have 600 questions for you. So let's work off of the assumption that she is going to give you a ride back to town, at least after seeing it's honestly a little better that the cart didn't make it.

Because if you were to hit a small child, then stop, say, feet later, that'd make you look way worse than if your cart so completely and totally got away from you that you lost tons of your worldly possessions. You lost your donkeys. You lost your ride. Everything. So we still have everything that was on our person, though, right? Well, yes. There is one thing. Stop. Kaladin said that he turned out his pockets. Yeah, and didn't have any gold or possessions on it. Graylin said that he didn't have any weapons or anything on him. I would say they are on the cart along with one other thing.

The Bell Effect. No, because I said I took it. I took it. There's no way Tatiana would let that thing. Yeah, remember, I took it from Kaladin because I was like, you cannot have this while you're high. That is true. You did do that. And I'm going to say that because of your dexterous nature, you did save twice. I was like bracing myself the whole time. I'm going to say you have it then. Fine. Okay. I take back what I said. I'm sorry. Okay. Yes. Thank you. Minutes are going to tick by for Kaladin and Braylin. Minutes are going to turn into probably the better part of a half hour.

And I am going to say that eventually you are going to see Ellen and a limping Cali running up to you guys. At least Braylin doesn't remember the bow. Yeah, I was gonna say, at least I don't. Alex remembers the bow. It's just a little cart smashed. It's still good. It's still good. Just gotta restring it. It's fine. Yeah, just gotta restring it. It's all still there. Yeah. Ellen is going to run up to Larg's body and probably just like fall to her knees instantly. And it's one of those things where she is anxious to help. She wants to do something, but he's so beat up.

It's probably a huge shock because less than 24 hours ago they were speaking. They were conversating. Everything was fine. And then this. So she's going to do that thing where she collapses to her knees, just kind of like running almost like a power slide in an 80s band, but then reaches out to touch and then just like is almost afraid of doing more damage. Like just taking all of this in. Cullen will look at her and say, he's taken quite a beating, but hopefully with your help, there's something we can do. Her eyes have not left Larg's figure since arriving, but I think several moments of silence are going to pass.

This is my fault. He asked me if he should continue and I told him yes. He's dead because of me. And Cullen will shake his head and he'll say, as a person who has a lot of misplaced guilt, Alan, this is not your fault. This is the assassins that drew their blades on all of us. This is the work of criminal elements in Brightport. This is not on you. Tears are going to start rolling down her cheeks, just completely involuntary. And then she's you could tell that there's something that's going to click in her eyes as she starts doing math. How long? Maybe eight, 12 hours.

We didn't get far. Oh, boy. I'm going to say a few more beats of silence. [sigh] Alan is going to point to the cloth that was wrapped around it. I need you to ball that up and put it behind his head. And she is going to start to kick rocks away and things like that so that she has a little room next to her. And she's going to start to roll up her sleeves. Cauldron grabs the cloth and puts it gently under Larg's head. He takes his jacket or part of his robe off and puts it down on the ground and gestures to Alan, "For your niece." And she's probably wiping, just kind of like that determined wiping away tears with the back of her hand and sniffling, "Thank you." I have the ability to try and bring Larg back, but I've never attempted it before.

But I have to try. We've all been through hell. And he looks at Callie, who looks way fucked up more now. Yeah. Which I imagine brings about a lot of questions, because it's been a half hour. What happened? Yeah, one thing at a time. One thing at a time. Right. But he looks at her, or he looks at Callie and nods and just says, "If there's anything we can do to assist, it's not magic we're familiar with, but we're in your hands and we're here." Well, guys, this is it. I'm gonna cry. Resurrection in the World of Tharia is a kind of a bartering system. Now, if you're finding a really old, high level cleric who is willing to risk their lives to bring somebody back, the risk is a bit more minimal, because they have experience and they've been casting magic for a large portion of their lives.

There's a certain amount of power. Finding someone less experienced in the art of trying to bring someone back carries with it a much larger risk. So Ellen is going to attempt to bring Lark back to life. There is no guarantee that this is going to work, but she's gonna try. No matter what happens, Ellen is going to take some damage for the attempt. It's an amount of damage that could kill her outright. Our chat on the table is very active. Jameson, is there anything you'd like to say before we do this? Yeah, if you kill Ellen, I'm coming for you. Okay. That's what it comes down to.

Okay. Now, for the purposes of suspense, I'm not going to tell you how many hit points Ellen has. Let's first see if the spell would be successful. So, Ellen's sleeves are going to be rolled up, and this is a ritual that takes some time. So she's going to be mumbling some words and prayers under her breath. And her hands are going to be hovering right above Lark's chest. And her hands are going to start to glow after a while. And we're talking a solid 10 minutes of prayer and concentration. I would imagine this is deathly silent during this entire thing.

This is a lower level resurrection spell, so here's what's going to happen first. Lark is going to roll a flat d20, because he is the target that we're trying to bring back. Obviously, the higher this roll, the better. The lower this roll... Well, you can guess. Lark, here we go. Holy shit. That's a four. Ellen's hands are going to stop glowing. Lark's eyes are going to snap open as he draws a sharp breath in. Now... Here's the thing. Lark came back, but he came back slightly wrong. But he came back slightly wrong. Which means I am going to ask you, Jameson, to roll a flat d100 for me.

Excuse me one moment while I consult my table. The permanent madness table. Yep, incurable madness. We'll get to that in just a moment. For now, Lark appears to be fine. His wounds are going to close. Like those gashes in his body are going to seal. He's going to stop bleeding, and his eyes are going to snap open, and he is going to draw breath. Now, trying to bring someone back from the dead is an ordeal for everyone. It's going to be painful for Lark for a few days. It's going to be-- obviously you're wrestling a soul away from the Raven Queen, is what you're doing.

Now let's see how much damage this has done to Ellen. There's a number of ranges here based on level. But this is going to do 10d10 plus five. Let's hope for low rolls, guys. All ones, all ones. Couple twos. As Ellen's hands stop glowing, and Lark's eyes snap open, Ellen's are going to close as she falls backwards and lands with a thud on this dirt road. Now, Colton would catch her. Colton would try and hold her back as she falls back. I think that's a good time for us to stop. Wow. And she's just unconscious, right? I don't know that. Right? We don't know. We don't know.

Right? She's going to be fine. Jason? I can't tell you. Ellen? Oh my god. What did we even do today? That was cool. What is this? So what, that's been 30 minutes? That's a new record, I think. That's a very new record. Yeah. World record. I was waiting for, like, dawn's light to be coming up, but I guess it totally wouldn't. No. It's very much like 1am. This is insanity. Wow. What a- I have so many emotions. How's everyone feeling? Because we got another one of these to do. Conflicted. I'm happy that Lark's back, but I'm so sad about what could possibly happen with Ellen.

No, here's the thing, guys. Ellen's dead. Lark is, who knows what's going on with him. We say he's alive, but he's actually a zombie now or something. It totally makes sense if she dies that he goes nuts, though. We really hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. We have all the episodes done for the month of December, and they will be closing us out for the year. We got two more episodes to go. I think you guys are really going to like them. We're also going to be trying to do an extended rest, even though it's right around Christmas time. But we'd like to be able to close out the year and talk to you guys and kind of get your feedback going forward.

If you got a few seconds, swing on by patreon.com/d8ndr. We got a few really cool things coming out this month. We're working on a little Christmas one-shot thing. I'm writing that. We'll also probably be releasing the character creation for Vampire the Masquerade. We're really excited about that, too. We're really close to getting started. November, December are busy months, obviously, so we're trying to schedule around Christmas and Thanksgiving and New Year's and all that. But that's why we have two groups for the one-shots, and hopefully you guys will be hearing something really soon from them.

Make sure and send us an email if you have any feedback or questions or anything like that to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. And if you could swing by iTunes and give us a rating, that's really, really helpful. We always appreciate those. That'll pretty much do it for this week, guys. Make sure and tune in next week as we got another group B, and then we're going to be wrapping up the year with a group A the week after that. And again, we'll be doing an extended rest to kind of wrap up the year. Thank you guys so much. We really appreciate you guys supporting us and sending in all your awesome emails and stuff like that.

Thank you very much. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye!