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There'll be a link in the description of this episode to RSVP today. To remind yourself on April 20th to show up in the chat. Previously for Group C. The group is on their way to Uminiero to research multiple topics including demon connections with people and lycanthropy. Along the way they got to know their new partner Iris and find out a little bit about her. Being a cleric of Vecna there might be a few growing pains along the way for the group and her. And that's where we're picking things up today. Let's do that thing where we go around the table to introduce ourselves.
I'm Jason I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table starting with Zach. What's up my name is Zach and I play Evelyn Bates the human fighter. And Lisa. Hey I'm Lisa and I play Elorath B. Singer the halfling barbarian. And Mandy. Hi guys this is Mandy and I play Iris Hawker the human cleric of Vecna. And Brie. Hi I'm Brianna I play Clara Uroth Dale the half drow fighter. And Jasper. Hello I'm Jasper I play Maracle. Maracle. I play Maracle. I play Maracle Whip. Maric Ethelred human cleric of a monitor not Vecna. And Ryan. Hey Ryan I play Varys Alder the half elf monk.
I just wanted to add that a sandwich just isn't a sandwich without the tangy zip of Maric. Right? Oh you got it. Maric. Oh no ew. Why do you think his restaurant did so well? The secret ingredient is love. Wow. Let's say lust. Let's call it lust. Lust okay good. Let's say what it is. Let's not say what it is and let's play some D&D instead. La la la. Well guys. Last time we sat down you guys rolled a five for travel. So we'll get to that in just a little bit. But last time we also kind of got to a larger goal for the group. And what it sounded like was you wanted to catch up and maybe even surpass the group.
Catch up and maybe even surpass the royals and get to go die before them. I don't like you said that. You said maybe. Well okay. There is some element of luck and skill that's involved with all this. I mean you can't just assume. I think we can assume on this one. I think this one's a locked deal. Okay. Okay. So later that day you guys catch up. That was easy guys. Yeah that was it. That was all. We built this up way too much. We did it. I'm speaking as Maric by the way. Not now. So it's going to be about six days. Give or take. You could shave a little time off this.
It could be a little longer depending on weather. We're going to see. But it's going to be about six days to get from Aldmor to Uminyero. Now the good news is it's a beautiful journey. You're going to be able to look out over Butcher's Bay. And in the far distance you'll be able to see the treetops of Drake Island. All that stuff. Gorgeous. This time of year you do get a lot of storms though. So we'll see how that goes. Was there anything you guys wanted to do on the third of Alta Ornn before you officially really hit the road here? Was there a certain speed you're trying to go?
Are you trying to catch up or are you just going your own pace? I think that we all agree that we're going to try to catch up, right guys? Yeah, I would say catch up. We're not breakneck speed. This is very slow and steady wins the race kind of a thing. I think. I wouldn't go crazy but certainly not slow down. I think there's some not quite urgency but just persistence. So medium. Yeah, because I think, what was it, a day and a half? A day and a half head start on you, yeah. Okay, well that's not so bad. I would say, "Come on, come on, come on, let's go." But I wouldn't say we got to run.
Right. Let's be very careful and very deliberate and not stop. Okay. One of the questions, did you guys have names for your horses? I don't like it when you ask that. I think it helps with immersion. Patches. Patches is one. Okay. Aww. And Beulah. Patches and Beulah, gotcha. How do you spell Beulah? B-E-L-U-Q-W-Z. (laughing) Z. You know, you're a real cunt. I was writing that down. I am still writing it down. I have to write it down. B-E-U-L-A-H. Beulah. Beulah Ballbreaker. There you go. Beulah Ballbreaker and Patches Ballbreaker. Patches the Pirate. Patches Adam. (laughing) I don't know.
That was not right. Well, here's what's going to happen. The third of Alta Orn, you guys are mostly going to start heading north from Aldmor. And again, this is a long and windy road. There are going to be bits of it later on, like on your fourth day of travel or so, that kind of get fairly close to a cliff, a cliffy area. And that always takes some, like a little bit of slow travel. You're just kind of watching yourself. But right now, road is wide open. And I would say that for the first day, there's really not that much going on. It's fairly nice weather, a bit windy, but nothing too bad.
Nothing's really going to be in your way here. So unless there's something you guys want to talk about or do, then I think we can jump right ahead to camp that night. Camp, camp, camp. So night has fallen and you guys got your camp set up and you're basically five days out from Uminero. This area is pretty close to Bandits Rest, but you don't usually have too much trouble with bandits attacking people on the road. What usually happens is there are bandits that will be close to the forested areas and you got people hunting or something like that that get attacked.
But even then, it's just for supplies or if they get lucky, money. But you guys don't have a ton of money. Most of you don't have a ton of money, I should say. Wait, who has tons of money? I think I do. Let me check my inventory. Define tons. It's 300 tons. Jesus. That was. Yeah, I'm going to rob you. Hey best friend, what's up? Yeah, I got I got money. I keep it in my bra. Oh, that's lumpy. Disgusting. Very lumpy bra. Jingle jingle. Very loud. You know what? Real talk. Probably like a necklace or something like a satchel. That'd be heavy. Yeah. Three hundred. Yeah. Never mind.
I'm a fan. Fanny pack. I'm a fan. Well, you can distribute it to your friends. It's not a thing where, like you said that we say gold, but there are like different denominations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's there's copper, silver, gold, platinum. But like I, I just say gold because it's easier because, you know, it's not fun breaking down math like it's not fun. So, yeah, I just say gold. So it's probably honestly not that bad. So you guys are camped out for the evening. Is there anything you guys want to do while you're camping or you just want to keep going?
So as we're sitting there eating at some point, he's going to look up and be like, so how often do you guys fight stuff? Just I don't know. So far, it's been pretty peaceful. He's going to he's probably just sitting somewhere resting up. He's going to look, look up and say, often enough. Ah, that's true. Yeah, we've we've been lucky since you've been on board that it's not always like this. And and miracles sort of point in the direction of of bandits rest, you know, like it's not always as quiet as this. So what's the what's the plan? What's our what's our fallback fallback?
If what? Well, if we get overran, if if we're in the middle of a fight and we're trying to save our own lives, one, how do we do that? And then, too, if we need to take off, what's what's your plan? Merrick's going to look confused. Merrick's going to look confused. Fall back, just keep fighting until they kill you or you kill them or. That's about what I had. I mean, you can run away if you want to, but I think we're just going to punch them in the face till they stop. Yeah. Oh, that that's that's fine. I mean, I like punching things, but I just want to make sure we're all on the same wavelength here.
Clara's probably like sharpening her sickle while this conversation is happening and she'll give a bit of a sigh. Look, if you have to run, we'll meet up in Uminiero. How does that sound? Fair enough. Hopefully we'll run into each other before then, because it's five days away. But worst case scenario. Should we have a signal for when things get too bad? Oh, yeah, like a code word. Oh, maybe a color. I don't know. How about like a word that is describing a sense of wonder? No, it's going to rub her temples and just like, do you mean if we're in a fight and we need to run?
Yes. How about we scream run? Maric's going to just point like that's it. That's it. Well, if we scream run and our opponents are smart enough, then they'll know for sure we've lost the battle. But if we have a code word, they could be thinking something else like a tactical retreat or. We have backup somewhere they might not chase. And that's the thing I can think of. I think if we're getting to the point, we need to have like a word to run. They already know that we're going to run. How about we just how about we just say we got them now? Yeah, and then we run.
Look, the point is right. If we get to a point where we need a code word, we just need to be running anyway, whether we yell something or not. But I get the point. What's our plan? We don't have much of a plan. And honestly, we haven't probably fought a whole lot together, maybe a little bit here and there. But we definitely have some new people. Don't really know how that would work. Iris kind of holds up her hand. I'm not really good at the fighting part, but I can provide support from the back if you don't mind. That's a good idea. We should list what we're weak at and what we're strong at.
So we all know what we can do in battle. I, for one, can kill things. That was in character. Laughing. Yeah. Elrath probably just thought, wait, me too. Alright. Usually, and she's going to kind of direct towards Iris and Varus. Usually it's me and Aveline up front. Elrath sometimes joins us, sometimes falls back. Maric stays as far back as fucking possible. And you guys fall in where you can. Where you feel most comfortable. To be fair, far back, I usually forget. And Aveline, that's kind of to your point, that's probably my biggest weakness. And Maric's going to look at Iris and see, you're the kind of cleric that I think I want to be.
Apart from the whole Vecna thing. You know what you're you know what you're supposed to be doing. I kind of just forget, which that's the story of my life. And she was nodding along until you said the except about the Vecna thing, and then she's like, and her smile kind of follows. But then she's just like, OK. Well, I'm not too good at the distance thing, but I can get up close. I'm fast. I'm small. And then there's kind of like shrugs his shoulders. Do you use weapons? Anything you favorite? I got my my spear and then I got a couple darts that I throw if I need to cover some some gap.
But I try to get up close as much as I can. Have you fought anything before? Yeah, mostly people that are picking on others within the town. But most of the time it's been trying to sneak and get to an area where they can't find you. All right. While we're on the topic of trying to communicate, I do know some things about communicating in silence. Underground, often the warriors have to be quiet so that we can sneak up on whatever it is that's been bothering us. So I can teach you guys some hand motions for very, very simple terms. And we just have to remember to look in situations where we can't speak to one another.
How does that sound? That's pretty smart. Yeah. Varus would be nodding along. Yeah. I would give a nod. So I think at that point, Clara would all the motions are kind of one handed and they're very simple things like two fingers out means stop. Like one figure out means keep going, things like that, like very subtle things. And I'll make a list or something later. Jason, I talked about this before the session. This actually set me up for that. You said I could have five to seven like very simple words. And if we use them in role play situations, the other person we're talking to might roll perception to see if they figure out that we're doing it.
Two fingers should probably mean go. Yeah. Very simple things. That's in our world, Mandy. I get to make up whatever I want. In Tharia, I'm the drow. One finger. One middle finger means stop talking Iris. It's weird. I didn't even know you when they taught me that. I know it's crazy. So specific. It literally says Iris. That's so correct. Okay, so this is coming together. Not that we're in the middle of a fight, but maybe when we do have something that happens, we'll be a little bit better off. All right. So in the dark, we've got or maybe when we're quiet, we've got some signals.
Iris, you and me, it sounds like whatever we do and wherever we go, if we come across something we don't like, the two of us should flank the rest of everybody, right? Yeah, sounds correct. I want to stay as far away from the bad guys as possible if possible. And I want to stay as far away from you as possible. So this works out perfectly. He's joking and he's going to smile when he says that. Just like, oh, ha ha ha. Awkward laugh. Okay, so from what I remember you saying to me, Clara, because in my mind, like, Clara has taught Ella a little bit more of like, like tactics and like how to fight strategically.
Like while they're training, like, if I'm remembering that correctly, Bree, if not, stop me. Yes, definitely. So she's going to say, like, okay, so from what you and I have talked about, if there are people all around us, she's going to point Iris and Merrick should probably be in the middle. Therefore, they don't get hit as much. And we can take all your hits for you so that you don't fall down and die. Definitely. If we are flanked, the most important thing is to protect the healers and Merrick, especially the healers. And if you did it that way, Merrick would be like, yeah, okay, no, that's fair.
I like that. Even though Merrick just said the word flank, like Ella Reth can remember it. She's like, they're they're all right. So when you said that, she's like, flank. I think it's really important that we all know what we should do in case Merrick does get hit enough. And then she's going to kind of look to Merrick like, you already have a plan for that kind of thing? Because last time that happened, that sucked for me. Merrick's just going to nod his head. This is all just like everything's on the table. But no judgment. Everybody's just kind of getting their stuff out there.
Yeah, I mean, you're right. The last thing I want to do is be a danger to anybody here or anyone. So two things. Number one, it makes a big difference. If by default I stay away from everybody in the middle of a fight, it's stupid of me if I'm going to run in the middle of everything, swing in this thing and he's going to take his mace and I need to stay back. And that's going to help you. On the other hand, what if I'm trapped? What's going to happen? And then he's going to point at Avalon. He's going to go, well, there's defense number one. And he's going to sort of nod at Avalon like, you know what to do.
But on top of that, yeah, go ahead. No, go ahead. Avalon, he just nods back to you and he says that and he taps his shield that he recently bought and he lets you continue. And beyond that first line of defense, you all not only have permission, but you kind of have a reason to take me down. That's it. I'm one of the enemy. OK, that's that's it. And you're forgiven in advance. Don't worry about it. I get it. And he's just going to be done like he just like this is just stuff he thinks about all the time. It's just part of life. So sorry for being so blunt, but what's so special about that dagger?
Well, two things. Number one, it's silver. It may do something. At least I won't keep making new claws if you cut mine off. I won't regenerate anything, at least maybe. But it's also symbolic. I need to make sure that there's an insurance policy around me at all times right now. And he's really looking straight at Avalon, like sort of in his eyes, like he really wants to connect with them. Right now, Avalon is that insurance policy. And what that means is I trust that insurance policy. OK, that makes sense. Is it magic? Is it going to make me turn into confetti?
No, it's just it's just a dagger, but I expect it to be used. No, I get that. That's all. But listen, everybody, I've said it before, but I'm not joking. If I cause danger to anybody here, I'm gone. And that's for your sake. So I don't want to be a burden and I don't want to hurt anybody. And that's that. Is there a way to fix that as far as like getting that whole werewolf thing taken care of to stop it permanently? This is in the movie where Merrick looks up into the sky and puts his hand, his fingers on his chin and he goes, and he remembers it goes back to a scene with the swamp witch.
And anyway, coming back to the reality, he's going to say it's a long and complicated history here. It's been tried before. I don't know how well it was tried or for what reasons, but I never trusted it. But then there's this and he's going to reach into his tunic. He's going to pull out. I think it was a blue envelope. I don't know if Jason, if you remember that Poe had given him. God, I remember the color. I think it was a blue envelope for some reason. Yeah, I think it's a blue. Well, it's an envelope. For some reason, blue. Oh, God, guys, that's the code word.
Let's all go. Go run. But I just scatters. What did I run? He's going to pull it out and just going to sort of play with it in his hands and he's just going to say, friend kind of gave me a little bit of information about maybe somebody could help. So you'll understand it's something I hate, but I'll be honest with you. For a little while it was gone and something felt missing as much as I don't want this to be part of me. It feels like it is. But maybe it's worth checking out. I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't want to be this, even though it feels like it's who I am.
So he's going to be flipping that envelope around in his hands and he's going to say, so this is somebody in Umineiro that I need to find. So there's a couple of reasons Umineiro sounds like the right place to go. So it was gone and it came back. Yeah, when, well, someone removed the curse or the disease or whatever this is, they removed it from me. Felt amazing at first. After time went on, it just felt like something was empty and missing. But that's not enough to want it back. I didn't want it back. But then he's going to do this with air quotes. He's going to say, but when the gods came back, so did the curse.
So did the disease. So here I am. Did you say when the gods came back? What are you talking about? Oh, yeah, the light in the sky. He told me about it. Is that what your fancy term for the light in the sky was? That's an odd, odd way of saying it. Gosh, this is like either info dump time or or the 30 second version. I think the 30 second version will start it out. Everybody gather around for 30 seconds. Turns out, while back, there really were no gods, or at least they weren't really around. And maybe they were just stories. Some people believe that they were trapped here.
Montheria in people. They didn't know they were the gods. And then one day, a column of light would go up into the sky and all of the gods will be released and come out of the people they were sitting in and realize, oh, I'm actually a god and then be back in whatever gods do. And evidently that happened a couple of years ago or something like that. I saw the light. Is this a joke? No, the gods have always been there. I don't know where you get the story from this. This is blasphemy. And you call yourself a cleric? Don't spread this around. You're gonna you're gonna make people mad.
You're gonna make people go crazy. Oh, Iris, Iris, I am a cleric of a monitor, the god of light, the god of hope. And I'm a fucking werewolf. And he's never actually been part of anything. And turns out, whenever if he was sitting in somebody's body, I was still a cleric anyway, so I'm pretty sure he didn't have anything to do with this. Just like back now for you. No, I'm not listening to this. This is bullshit. What we were talking about before was, okay, talking about how we would work in combat. And then we went on this weird tangent. No, I'm not listening to this.
I thought you guys were interesting and most of you are, but you, who are you? And so just kind of walk away. Just sit over here. Merrick is going. Merrick is going. So there's, I want there to be a long pause in America is going to turn to various and not as a whisper, but just very quiet. Just say, Veric, Verus, sorry, Veric, Verus, please stop asking questions around Iris. It causes issues. Okay, yeah, I could do that. I think Clara would go chase down Iris and kind of give her like a light tap on the shoulder. Iris back when Merrick explained it to me the first time, it didn't sound as bad as it sounded that time.
But I think everyone in this group believes in something different. Are you all right? And she's breathing hard. Just this is like something that she doesn't want to believe. It just kind of wrenching and she's trying, she's just breathing hard trying to push out of her mind like this is no, this is just the stories of a madman. And so she just, she clinches and turns to Clara and just, do you believe him? She's gonna kind of gulp and then say his first story. When I heard the long form version, if you will. It sounded more compelling. I don't know if I believe him.
But there are certain things that line up. And maybe now info dump just like the whole thing with the Aladrin and all of that like Clara will explain the whole story for her. Specifically the Aladrin is what Clara thinks is the most compelling evidence is like, well they did all go away for a while and now they're back because we've, I assume we've heard about that we were just in Brightport and, oh yeah, we met them fucking hell. Thank God I started taking notes. Anyway. But like she'll, she'll give like the full story like them going to the seal and unlocking it and seeing the light and whoever Brianna is who she never met but seemed to be very important to two of the gentlemen they were talking to.
Sounds kind of like a cunt but whatever. Anyway, like full info, info dump with all of the evidence to present it and then kind of cap it off with. It could all just be stories, but if it is real, then Zaria might become a much better place soon. And I was so listen to the whole thing just silence. And up until you know the start of the conversation, the whole conversation before she had been smiling, and then but right now she's just dead just stone faced. And she just shakes her head shakes her head and saying, Now I know Vecna has been with me my whole life, I, I felt him I know he has been there for me.
And for my people and been part of my faith. I, if this is just a story. Then it's a story, but I do not think this is something that you guys should spread around. It's dangerous. And I don't think it's right. But to keep the peace. I will keep it to myself, but I will, I will not hear this anymore. Clara will nod and based like pretty much say, all right, in the same way that I will never stop you from talking about Vecna. I'm never going to stop Merrick from telling his story either. That's fair. Okay. Well come sit back by the fire. She'll take a deep breath and just nod and and fall behind Clara to the back to camp.
Like as they're going back to the camp she'll mumble like, did you know that like the human side of Vecna was actually quite hot. Like just to make her smile. And that does bring a small smile. Total hottie I've seen pictures, let me tell you. It's not really my thing but like long hair kind of, you know, you can ignore things sometimes but anyway. And then we all sing campfire songs. Campfire song. So, let's pick things up the next day on the fourth, fourth of altar or not. Among you would be, would you feel would be the go to nature person with like okay let's say there's mushrooms growing in a certain spot, or you guys are trying to find your way through the wilderness or you guys just who do you think would be the default, like, Oh, yeah, I, I know this.
This got the highest nature skill. I mean that would be the natural way of doing it right. Who lived in a city and under a rock. I will plus one. But I think I feel like that's because most of what Clara knows is like spiders and underground things. You see it should be Evelyn but he's more into. Let me explain myself. He is more into survival and he's not that navigation type of guy. That anywhere. Sadly, Iris. Oh, okay. I've got my plus two. Okay, that's fair. There you go. I mean he did live in the woods for a while but that's makes sense. Yeah, he knows which berries to not eat.
So, and the ones to eat. That reminds me that just to make sure it's cloud just want to bring it up. I don't know what's going to come up, but he has been continuing to collect all of the herbs and roots and barks and whatever so that he can make his very inversion of coffee, which is like a chicory coffee type. Okay, that's been in the background for a long time but I forgot to bring it up again but yeah he's been he's always collecting that kind of stuff so they can make those special drinks. That's fine by me. Could you do me a favor, give me a nature check.
So, I picture every once in a while, with a two, like, that's that's it's probably not your, you're not Native American tracker guy where you're like wait I could feel it on the wind that type of thing where it's just inexplicable it's like, man, you are in tune with shit. It's not that. But every once in a while, you'll, you'll get like don't eat that, or hate that like that type of thing. It'll be very very basic. But today, there's going to be a feeling in the air, and Merrick can can pick up on this, probably just because of experience and there's a storm a brewing.
And it's kind of overcast today but Merrick kind of gets the feeling it's like, oh, this could be a thunderstorm, this could be, and it's, I would say for adventures or travelers of all kind. Rain is an inconvenience obviously you drenched, it's not fun, blah blah blah, but a thunderstorm is dangerous. And the odds of you getting struck by lightning in real life are obviously not great. Your odds are like winning the lottery. However, if you if you're traveling on the main road, and you are the tallest objects on that road, and most of you are wearing metal.
The odds become slightly better. So, we'll get back to that. But I would say around noon. You guys are going to see a group kind of huddle up near the road. And they have their, their cart kind of blocking off the, the main road here and it looks like they either that they're either broken down, or maybe even purposefully blocking off the road. And there's, there's a fairly large man, long red hair, a big red beard, kind of wearing this hide armor. And he's got a, he's got an axe, a big battle axe slung over, over his shoulder. And he's gonna be waving pretty friendly to the group as they approach.
Hmm. Okay, I made a note of the big red beard, Jason does he have brown hair or red hair? Red hair. Okay, it's not Jason. Roll that one out. I'm the dungeon master. Now we all have to approach the situation like we don't know we rolled a five. I, I'm assuming, unless otherwise anybody cares, Merrick would be driving, basically, as usual, at least. He would stop well in advance and stop the cart so that it's not within like, we're not right up at it but you know maybe 50 feet before we even get close. Yeah. So it gives us a chance to be able to jump down and go up, but not to be close by with the, with the stuff.
Right. Could you do me a favor, give me a perception check, if you're the one driving. Yeah, I don't want to take that away if somebody else wanted to be driving so please feel free if we want to retro canon it. I'm okay with it I'd like to be shotgun, that's okay. Fine by me. Oh, love perfect. Yeah, perfect, perfect, perfect. Actually this guy looks great. He's one of mine. So, yeah, that's a quick get that's that's that's a four. So, you're gonna see a few guys huddled up around this cart. They're basically hanging out in the road. They seem to be purposefully blocking it off and the lead guy with the battle axe he's going to, again, be waving very friendly.
He's not trying to be aggressive it doesn't look like. He's going to call out, "Hi!" Does anybody else know, do I need to sort of turn around, can everybody see this person or is it, I don't know, I don't know how the setup is but it's like, hey everybody we got some company. Yeah, if you guys come to a stop, and it's not pulling along the side of the road. So it's not like a break. There's either something in the way which, I mean happens there are downed tree branches and potholes and all kinds of stuff but if you announced everybody, hey, this, this isn't great.
I, the wagons covered right so I do think that Merrick would have to like call out and be like, hey, something's up. Yeah, imagine like a flat between the driver, they'd like, what's up, like that type of thing. We got company, I don't know. Since the wagon is covered anyway I think Clara would just, because they know they're close to bandits rest I'm sure that came up in conversation at one point. So she'll just have like be kind of on the ready, but not leave the cart yet. Who wants to, who wants to go say hi. Well they're blocking the road so. Yeah, we're a little ways away.
Okay. The last people that were like blocking the road and everything may just give them money. So, nah, don't want to give them money. She's so bitter about those guys. I like how Elorath can put a Y in money. Like in the beginning of money it's like, yunnie. Didn't even realize I was doing it. It's really cute. I like it. Gives her pizazz. Now I'm going to try to and not do it anymore. She's got that old razzle dazzle. Okay, so we stopped while I misunderstood the situation. Clara will get out then and join Merrick. Okay, so Merrick and Clara are walking over to talk to this guy.
Aveline are you coming too? And Elorath, Iris, Varus, anyone else? So everyone is going over. Well no, I'm asking. That's a question. I'm asking so everyone has a chance in case they feel like they can't speak up in time. And then they feel left out. I was contemplating if I should stay with the cart because you never know if they have like, you know, other guys. Yeah, that's fair. That's a good point. I feel like if the two of you are heading out there then Elorath would probably stay by the cart. I actually probably nudge Varus just be like, aight, get ready.
Okay. Yeah, that would make sense. I think Iris will stay by the cart too since other people are hanging back and she doesn't want to be there if a fight breaks out. Because they look mean. Aveline, we'll go with you guys. Okay, so. So three and three. Yes. So don't sweat the party. Perfect. So, so, Maric's going to kind of be behind Aveline and Clara, not to try to get away from anything, but I think he kind of wants to be ready to run either way in a way. So he's going to be just a few steps back behind those two. So as you guys approach, he'll kind of have one of his hands on his hip there, just fairly unassuming it doesn't look like he's readying his axe or anything like that.
And if you get close enough, how you folks doing today? Clara will speak up. She's wearing her full drow everything. So basically only her eyes can be seen. She'll say, we're doing quite well. Just trying to get to our destination. How are you? Oh, doing pretty well. Do you mind if I ask what your destination is? She's going to look to Aveline and Maric before responding. We're going to Uminero. And you, sir? Well, he's going to look back to his compatriots here. Well, I am afraid we're going to have to ask you folks to turn around, at least for a day, day and a half.
Why is that? That kind of catches our debts when he started going, well, her hand kind of moved to her weapon immediately. It's like, oh, you're going to be like, oh, well, got to attack you. And then they didn't. So she moves her hand back away and she's like, why is that? Well, we've been hired to to guard this road, essentially. I'm sorry, I'm being very rude. And he's going to take the axe and put it in his left hand and over his shoulder and reach out with his right. Ted Martell hired Goon. OK, he's my favorite. Clara Arrathdale, and she'll shake his hand.
And then she's going to work off the hunch immediately. Can I ask who hired you? Well, I'm not a secretive guy by nature, but the hired Goon client confidentiality thing is pretty big. We don't get hired again if we go blabbing to everybody. She'll smile. And when she does, like when she smiles big, like you can see it in her eyes. If I take a guess and get it right, will you let me know? And he's going to kind of look back to everybody. Hey, if you take a guess and get it right, I'm not going to tell you you're wrong. Have you heard of the Royals? He's going to he's going to look like he's going to get ready and almost turn back to the party and then look at you almost disbelievingly.
And then sort of react like, oh, check out the big brain on Brett. Just kind of. And he's going to get this big exaggerated wink to Clara. I have heard of them. Yeah. Well, that's my favorite character ever. Clara turns straight and marries Ted. That's a choice. I decided she changed her mind. No. Was that the symbol? Do we run? Yeah. No, she'll look back to Merrick like, damn. Yeah, Merrick's just going to have the shifted eyes, like looking at Ted. And then as soon as Clara turns around, he's going to look straight in her eyes. Nothing else moves on his entire body, but just like.
I imagine him doing like the. But without the finger snaps, but like that head motion. That is unfortunate. We are on a mission and it's quite important for one of the heads of Brightport. Could I ask how much they paid you to guard the road? We find talking about money to be a little gauche, but. We are always looking for new work opportunities being hired goons. We don't get offered the same work as, say, a shield hand, but we take to our jobs with a certain vigor. We like to think. Can I ask why you're going to human euro in such a hurry? I mean, a day, day and a half really isn't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, right?
Maric's going to interrupt. How much, Ted? And he's going, OK, so picture this big lumberjack looking fuck with long hair, and he's going to almost look at Maric like, well, that was rude. Like just kind of like you. You cut me off, sir. He's going to he's going to lean in. If we were to let our guard down and let you through. I would need enough to pay my people, so about 500 gold should do it. How many people are there? Well, that's the thing with your big four, you're not going to exactly know how many people there are. You see, you see three more beyond Ted.
OK, OK, but hang on. That was on the cart at a distance with perception. Now we're right up next to the dude. Well, then I think you should roll again. I will do that. And maybe my blind rage will blind me. If I get another one, that's why. OK, I think it's deserving. OK, 13. Yeah. So you are going to see four right now. That's how many you see, including Ted, including Ted. And Ted, you're their hired goon director level person. You're the leader. And he's not not like you're being rude, just like you manager. And he's going to he's going to kind of sense your irritation.
Look, I'm really sorry for the delay. We got hired to make sure that. Our clients and he's going to wink at Clara, just kind of get a wide berth. They don't like to travel with others, I guess. But, you know, we obviously don't want a problem. We're just trying to do our jobs. You understand how it is. You look like able bodied. I'm going to guess adventurous. Clara's going to wink. And he's he's going to hold up a hand. If you don't like labels, that's fine, too. I don't want to put them on people. We're just looking to do this gig and get out of here. OK, Ted.
Is there any chance, because I'll be honest, we're adventurers, but we haven't really struck it big quite yet. If I were able to get you 250 gold between me and all of my compatriots. Is there any chance you could give us a bit of a discount? Could you give me a persuasion check? I'm really hoping you wouldn't ask that. Here's my flat persuasion. Oh, shit! 18. That's an 18. OK. Look, I like you. You seem like nice folks. I would think that. And he's going to stop just for a second and look at Aveline, because I believe that's the first time he's. The first thing he says, hasn't said a word.
He's been staring at him with his soulless eyes. But as soon as he gets complimented, he has to say thank you for it. He's going to he's going to arch a single eyebrow just for just a little bit. Anyway, you seem like nice folks, and I'm sure you wouldn't wish our clients any harm. I doubt that's why you're there. I believe you. Honestly, that you're on business do a manero. That being said, let me talk it over with my folks. Please don't approach the line. I'd hate for Susie or Kiki to fire down on you. And he's going to kind of like in front of him, just kind of like motion upward with a thumb like on the ridge there.
And if you were to look just barely visible in the brush, there'd be two people with longbows just waiting. I am so glad we did not blindly attack these people. And he's going to he's just like, is that OK if I just talk with my compatriots? Yeah, we'll do the same, Ted. Take your time. All right. Won't be a minute of your time. And he's going to turn around and head back to his folks. Merrick is going to motion similarly for Avalon and Clara to huddle up. Sweet. Clara will do that. OK, I get what you're doing and I that's my instinct to let's just pay it and get it out of the way.
Right. That's what how this stuff goes. I don't want to get in a fight. I get it. But we also need to save our cash if we're going to be going to hire a boat to hire a guide, whatever it might be. I'm just wondering if there's another way we can do this without having to give up our gold and without having to fight. It's going to kind of shake her head and like, I'm not going to fight these people. They're not doing anything wrong. No, I'm with you. I don't. They're doing their job. And frankly, I respect it. What exactly is a good. Hired muscle person. Oh, so it's kind of like an in-between.
They're not bad people in and of themselves. They're just hired to do something that somebody else wants them to do. And the person that's hiring doesn't give a shit about them, basically. So, Ted, nice guy. He's got a group of people. Nice people. But their job is to hold us back. Right now, there's about I can think of at least three things off the top of my head that mean we need to get through this and get to Uminiro as quickly as possible. Or if you include the thunderstorm about to happen. So we got to get moving. It's not Ted's fault. And I don't want to fight either.
He's going to look at Clara. I'm not looking for a fight. I'm just saying, is there another way to get through this? I can't think of anything. But if we left the cart, if we left the cart behind, maybe we could go off road. But I feel like that's a bigger mistake than just paying the money because the cart was worth more than 250. I'm fairly certain. Yeah, you're right. I'm willing to pay this out of pocket when we get to Uminiro. We will figure something out. Let's hope he takes 250 and. We can sell the cart later, we can hopefully just get through this without starting anything or letting the royals know that we're on their trail, which fuck those guys, by the way.
Right. Well, do you think if they let us buy that they're going to alert their employer that they let someone through and they could be on the lookout from now on? I don't think so. He seems like a pretty straightforward man. I'm pretty sure that if they let somebody through, the last thing they want to do is let the royals know that that happened. Because they're the ones who are going to get in trouble. So we have choices. We can plow through and hope they don't hit us. That's not going to work. We can get into a big fight. That's a waste of time. And frankly, none of us deserve it.
Even them. We can pay some gold, which I really don't want to do. But it's your gold, Clara, and that's what you want to do. That's fine. But I don't think any of us is going to make you do that out of your own pocket. Maybe we can haggle it further. I don't know. I already only offered him. Let's see what he says. Yeah, I appreciate this, though, Clara. Dude, I'm starting to hate them as much as you do. Just don't have time for this. And that was their fucking point. And honestly, Brightport doesn't have time for this either. Like I said, multiple reasons to get going.
And then Baric's going to lift his head up. Ted! Yeah, he would have finished up with his cohorts and came back to the line, kind of stroking his beard a bit, and give you the bro nod like, "Oh, hey." Okay, you guys mentioned that your junior adventurers haven't hit it big yet. I'm sorry. Junior's a derivative word. So if I'm being perfectly honest with you, we're kind of hoping this job goes well. Times are tough, you know, and in the hired goon community, word of mouth is big. So we're really looking to kind of give a... get a good review from these guys.
But here's what we can do. We could theoretically look the other way for a few moments. I mean, it's really tough to watch all the road all of the time, right? And we could take the 250. But I need to take you at your word that you will not tell anyone about this. Of course not. Never. Now, and he's going to lean in a bit. Between you and me, if you wanted to save some gold, there might be a way around that wouldn't shave too much time off of your busy schedule. But of course, it's off the main road and there's some danger, blah, blah, blah. You guys know.
And he's going to kind of like grumble that out to you just because he doesn't want, you know, his friends to hear. Right. But again, I just wanted to tell you, I like you folks. You seem really nice. Honestly, you're the nicest folks we've run into so far in the last few days. People could be a bit prickly about getting in their way, you know? Mm hmm. Evelyn, Merrick, what do you think? Let's huddle up. All right. Huddling up. That feels ruder when he's right there. Right. If you said that, oh, you folks take your time. And he would kind of have one hand crossed over the other while he's standing in the road, just like he purposefully look away, almost whistle, like so he doesn't like intrude upon your conversation.
Merrick's going to say to Clara and Evelyn, I feel like this guy likes us. I don't think we need to get into any fights. So we're in the clear there. Worst case scenario, 250 gold. We're on our way, right? He also is saying that they would look the other way if we wanted to go around them. But that's not going to be safe, especially with the storm coming. I don't want to get off the roads. What if there's something else we could do for them that would just make Ted and his friends just look the other way altogether? It's possible. But do you have ideas? I'm thinking there's what do you think?
One, two, three, four. He's going to point up five, six. I could I could make him something real nice to eat, like a really nice dinner. Wouldn't that take more time than. Yeah, but I want that gold for us. And I don't want us to be put in danger off the roads. And trust me, I can whip some stuff up real good, real quick. All right, let's let's make that offer. He's going to shrug like I don't have to do it and I know it'll take time, but at the same time, it may be the in the long run, the easiest way through. We win, they win. And we make up a little lost time if we have to.
I see. I could use a nice dinner also. It might mean we're a little light on rations for a couple of days, but if we can manage, I think we'll be OK. Do you know how quickly the storm is coming? Can with that in mind, can Merrick have another go at. Sure. You don't give a shit, whatever. I don't fucking care. That's 14. That's not bad. That was a 10. Yeah, I saw 10 as well. I don't think that's how it works. It says 12 plus two. No, no, it's more just like, what are you doing, chat? Like, that was clearly a 10. I saw it, but whatever. So stop it. So that one was a six.
That was medicine, though. So the longer this day ticks on, the more to Merrick it looks like it's going to storm. And I would say this is the type of thing where you're judging like the cloud size and structure. And it's like, I think this is going to be a bad storm. And you're guessing that it could be on you guys within an hour or two. OK. OK, here's a question. Does it seem like. That if there were a storm, a ruin. Would this actually be a pretty good place to hole up? Is it pretty well protected? Does it feel like it would stay dry and protected from the from the weather as best as possible?
Oh, goodness, no. OK, great. Fantastic. Because I was going to suggest let's make friends. But it sounds like you are really trying to milk this cow, for all it's worth. No, I was actually going to say, let's honestly we need if we need a safe space and they've kind of got one, I'll make everybody dinner if they just let us hang out with them while we ride out the storm. But right. We don't have much time. I guess we just pay the gold. We've got to get going. The storm's going to hit and I don't want to fight for resources and dry patches with six other people.
Is that the decision? I'm putting it out to Clara and Evelyn. I mean, I'm trying to try the try the cooking thing because Ted seems like he might be on board for that. All right. All right. How about this? I'll whip up something pretty good, pretty quick. It'll probably be the best lunch they've ever had. It's midday, right? Yeah, yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's not. That's why that's why I had Clara say, like, that's going to take some time, isn't it? I thought we were just going to sit around until dinner time. Oh, no, I meant like we'll give them a meal right now.
I'm sure they're hungry, you know, no matter what. I'll whip something good. We can't stay around here, especially I would imagine that this might be some sort of like a place in the road where it's narrow enough. And that's why they're here. So it might actually be more dangerous for us to stay here for the storm. Right. So it's like we need a bigger place. We need a wider area. All right. All right. Hey, Ted. He's going to just pop his head up. And he's going to stop that looking to the side. It's like, oh, yeah. You and your team are you hungry? And he's going to kind of cock his head just a little bit.
Why is that? Tell you what. I. I own a restaurant. That's why I'm a brand new adventurer. I used to be a chef until very recently. I'm just figuring trying to do whatever I can to give you what you need, but also to let us get through. I'm just wondering if I can whip up the best lunch you've ever had. And if it's not the best lunch you've ever had, then deals off, but if it is, you just let us on through. There's a storm coming. We just got to get moving. I want all of you to stay safe and I want you to get fed, frankly. Give me a persuasion check. You can do it.
Oh, my God. OK, something's wrong with the board. Jesus. Well, that that's bad. That's that's not great. No. And he's going to he's going to look around and kind of notice. Can I wait can I insert some head cannon? Sure. How long have we been on the road now? Not long at all. Like a day. Damn. I was going to be like, well, Merrick smells really bad. So food from him doesn't seem appetizing. No, and it's not that he doesn't believe you. So like, OK, he's going to look around and kind of kind of check out the clouds and kind of stroking his beard. Yeah, it doesn't look like Melora cares if we're working, huh?
Well, as tempting as lunch sounds, and that does. I'm sure you're a great cook. I got to pay my people and their families and you know how it is. Merrick's going to turn to Clara and just kind of under his breath, give him the gold. Not a command. He's not saying do it. He's just saying, I guess, give him the gold. Clara will just give him the gold. Be like, thank you for being so understanding about this. And he's he's going to take it and at the same time just like, oh, don't don't even worry. It's these things happen, right? And I have your word that this little arrangement won't get out to anybody?
Of course. Far as I'm concerned, you guys slipped through the hills and just got around us. You got lucky. That happens sometimes. Merrick's going to reach out and to shake his hand. Nice doing business with you. And he'll shake your hand vigorously. Hey, nice doing business with you. Hold on one second. And he's going to kind of pat himself down. Oh, and he's going to hand you this paper card, basically. With his name on it and a way to get in contact with it. If you folks ever need anything in your in the area, especially near Oldmoor, hit us up. We'd be happy to arrange something.
Guys, I think we just found a crew. Holy mackerel. That's interesting. But not right now, because if we tell them we're going after the Royals, that would not end well. That's interesting. OK. I'm just saying that we we just met at least five to seven or more very nice people. I really like that idea. OK. We got to get going. We got to get moving. Jason, are you going to take that money from me? I sure will. OK, let's let's we'll figure the math out later. But there's no way we're going to let you just do it out of your own pocket. Well, we'll we'll split it. The most gold of the group, I think, like communism.
We all shared. We all share our gold. It's a communist party. Wonk wonk. I'm kidding. Because we're a party. I give you high marks for that joke. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? So happy. Thank you for the pity laughter. Yeah, from Zach, definitely. So if you guys you guys pay the gold and everything, he's going to give a little hand motion to everybody in the party and they'll they'll kind of try to move the cart out of your way a little bit. And you'll notice the the archers up top there will put their thought they'll stop pointing at you. And he'll even kind of do that after you type of hand motion.
Clara will give him like a little bow and then we'll go back to the cart. Yep. Do you explain to everybody else what happened? Like while you're moving on through? Yeah, probably like first like at first it would just be a thing of like we got we took care of it. And then after we pass like the whole story, just typically how sweet Ted was. What a nice man. Perfectly reasonable guy. Very reasonable. I agree. Much better than those creepy ass like bridge people. Okay. So as you guys are traveling north, time is going to tick by the next couple hours are going to take by and as as time ticks by these big gusts of wind are going to are going to rip through here and you're going to notice some rain.
Now the rain is very sparse at first like big raindrops that kind of just like splat like it starts up to I think I felt rain and all sudden it's almost like someone threw a tiny water balloon at you like that kind of rain and it's coming diagonally down and just like it's it's coming with gusts of wind. And you're like, oh, this is going to be miserable. And it doesn't look like this does not look like it's going to get better. Now, here's what I'd like to do. I'm going to take three dice rolls from the group. And that's going to determine what this weather is getting ready to do to you.
Now, at first, I'd like Avalon to just roll me a flat D 10. Come on, do you can do that, I can do that. You totally can. You're hoping for low numbers, by the way. Okay. That's not low. Beautiful. That's a nine. So that essentially is going to be the size and scale of the thing that's about to happen. Now we're looking for duration. And for that, I think we need to jump on over to Ella Rath. Please give me a flat D 10. Oh, seven. Oh, beautiful. Now, finally, what I'm looking for is size and scope. And for that, I think we need to jump on over to Iris. Iris, could you do me a favor?
Give me a flat D 10. Three. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Okay. So you guys are going to be traveling. And I'd say it's like two thirty, three o'clock in the afternoon, something like that. And this sky looks terrible. Like it almost looks nighttime. Like it's black, roiling clouds. And this rain is going to start to come down. And it is hard. The flaps, the little canvas flaps like on your on your cart are just going to be like billowing and just like beat the shit out of somebody if they're if they're sitting next to it. Like it's it's bad. I picture it having these little ties and stuff.
So you can kind of, you know, like like I said, both in front and back next to the driver. There'd be like that little flap is like, hello, like that type of thing. This is just like you're going to hear it's like just just whipping in the wind. Like anybody sitting in the driver's seat like it's it's miserable. Just like the rains coming like it's in your ear, like it's coming almost like from the side, like from west to east, just like battering you. It's terrible. And then, you know what, actually, let's who would be driving? Is this still American at this point?
I'd assume. Right. OK. Could you do me a favor, guys? Roll a perception check. Beautiful. Both of you. So these clouds just look terrible. This this you're not hearing any thunder, thankful. But this rain is just miserable. And then. Up ahead to the northwest. You see it. A funnel starts to form in the clouds, and it's going to start to look like some it's almost looks like a God's going to be reaching down from the heavens and the funnel is going to touch down, not too damn far away from you into the woods. And you're going to watch as this thing rips trees out of the ground and tosses them.
What would be your reaction to this? Evelyn's reaction would be trying to motivate the horses to go even faster. So you're going to try and outrun the tornado. Yes. Does it look like it's heading specifically in the location in the direction we're going? Well. I would say that it is heading in a southerly direction. So while it probably won't be right on top of you, it doesn't necessarily need to be. But here's the next bit. I need one more dice roll. Now, we already know that this thing is pretty terrible, and I'm not going to throw a bunch of math at you right now, because you probably might not need to know it.
But the damage this thing could do is extraordinary. Now, we already know that it's bad enough that it's a tornado, and we already know that it's going to last for a while because you rolled a seven. Now, it's not huge, which is, I guess, the best blessing you have. So this is kind of like a thinner column. It's not spaghetti strand thin, but it's thin enough that it's not going to decimate a whole portion of this forest. Now, what I need from one of you is one more dice roll. Who would like to volunteer? I'll do it. Okay. Now, here's before you roll. Listen carefully.
I want you to roll a flat d20. Okay. The lower this roll, the faster this thing is going to move, and the more centralized on the party it's going to get. I changed my mind. I don't want to roll anymore. Can you repeat that? My thing cut. Okay. The lower the roll, the lower this d20 roll, the faster this thing is going to move, and the more centralized on the party it's going to get. Roll high. Roll high. Are you ready? Wait, before you roll, you have my blessing. Okay, that makes a complete difference. I think there's a kiss on the forehead. I don't know why.
I have plenty of forehead to kiss, so... Beautiful. Oh! 19! Yes! Thank you for your kiss, Zach. I do what I can. Okay, so this is a shit your pants moment if you're a traveler or an adventurer or anybody who's out on the road because you've probably encountered a thousand rainstorms. You know, thunderstorms, right? It sucks. You've been trapped near a hurricane at one point, and the entire town of Aldmoor was flooded out, and roads were just destroyed for a while. And it sucks, right? This is nightmare fuel. This is... If that funnel were to get close enough to suck this party up, we're talking it could kill you easily.
Like, the odds would be so poor of you surviving that you don't even talk about the math. You just assume you're dead. Ooh. This, thankfully, is not going to get super near the party. So I'm picturing Avalanche like, "Fuck this!" and just telling the horses, "Go, go, go, go, go." So you're obviously not going to outrun the funnel, but the point is to just get away from it. So I picture this being to the left of you guys, to the west a bit, and it touches down. And you're going to hear this deafening, monstrous roar of these winds. Strong enough, we're talking 250, 300 mile an hour gusts that are just ripping trees out of the ground.
It is essentially nature's wrath come to life. And I lied to you all. Oh. Because what I need is one more dice roll. Motherfucker. You know what? Clara! That 19 wasn't good enough for you? It's good enough for the funnel, but there's one minor side effect. Clara, do me a favor. Give me a flat D20. Why? Because I'm asking you nicely. Okay. Oh, my fantasy grounds is not letting me pick up... There we go. Okay. I wanted low, right? I wanted low? It's my fault. I should have gave you some more luck. That's true. I was stingy. I was like, "Ah, yeah, she'll be fine." You didn't tell me whether I wanted high or low.
You don't want low. Now, here's what's going to happen. So, do you remember how I said it's tossing these trees in the air? Well, they got to come down somewhere. So, what is essentially happening is nature itself is ripping trees out of the ground like they're toothpicks and casually tossing them aside eventually. You're going to see rocks and dirt and trees get caught up in this funnel, and eventually they're going to reach the peak of the funnel. And they'll be hanging there in the air, and you'll watch this thing toss whole trees, oaks, and pines, and just like all these trees in the air.
And some of them look like they're just being scattered to the four winds, and they're going to land back into the forest, and it's just deafening. But some of these are going to be tossed in your general location. So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start rolling some dice now. And based on your one, I'm going to say that 10 trees are going to land in your general direction. So... Wow. Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, it was a one. It was a one. So... picture these as just fully formed huge trees, right? So obviously you don't want any part of this. So what I'm going to do is... geez, 10 of these.
I'm going to start rolling flat D20s. That's because they're not... it's not a purposeful attack. They're just happenstance. It's all random. Now, for every flat D20 I roll, and it's a 17 or higher, we're going to have to deal with some fallout. Does that sound fair to you guys? Oh, incredibly fair. This is all fair. Okay. It's completely fair. Well, that depends. Is it really going to be 10 rolls, or are you going to add an eleventh one after that? Oh, you're going to lie to us again. Is that what you're looking at? Yeah, like that first time. So 11? No, that's fine.
No, no, no. That's fine. So here we go. I want to make that clear because sometimes I can get a little salty. Here we go. First D20 is a five. Nice. So now it's a race against time, and it's just like, there's no way to hide from this. It's just chaos. Can I ask what the general feeling of the cart is right now? Like, what is everyone doing? We know that Avalon is just, I'm guessing, kind of stone faced and just like, go, go, go, go, that type of thing. What's everyone else doing? I would imagine everyone in the back of the cart is bracing themselves because between the wind and how fast the horses are going, they probably need to.
Yeah, I would imagine. As low as I could get, if I could get underneath one of the benches, I'd be there. Gotta remember those tornado drills. So far, far back, I'm going to say like 150 yards. You're going to see one of these trees spike into the ground, almost like a caber toss type of thing, where it's going to land and then cartwheel backward away from the road and toward the cliffside, like toward the water. But it landed with enough force that if it were to have struck anyone, they'd be dead instantly. Just dead. Gone. Fourteen. This one's going to land much closer.
We're talking maybe 50 feet away, something like that. And you're going to, it's going to smack broadside into the ground and just start rolling, kind of smack, jump and then start rolling backward. And 17 is the number. Hold on, Jason, before you roll, let me give you some bad luck. OK. There you go. Did you lick me? No. Five again. So what you're watching this. So the gusts of wind are just there. I'd say they're tipping the cart a bit, like taking it up on two wheels periodically. So just between that and the deafening thud of these trees hitting, this is just pure chaos.
Next one. Six. Next one. Nine. One more to round this out. Four. So, OK, you guys have been pretty goddamn lucky so far. And again, this is total, total chaos. And whoever is going to be traveling on this road is going to have to be fucking moving trees and shit just to get around. Huge potholes, all kinds of stuff. OK, I have rolled one, two, three, four, five, six, seven so far. There are three left, guys. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. Here we go. Oh, wait, no, six. I've rolled six. Oh, hell. One of them was a D12. Wow, but that was a 12. Man, that's pretty good.
So here we go. Four more. I'm so sorry. Four more. Here we go. Boom. Three. Way back in the distance, you're going to see one of these land. Ten. Up ahead. But to the east, you're going to see one hit the ground. Your horses are not doing very well, by the way. They're running, but it's like panicked, crazy running. Evelyn is almost standing up like with the rails or whatever with the horses going like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just as focused as he can. Two more to go. Five. And finally. Do you feel that in the call, everyone? Do you feel it? I'm not worried. I already did my magic.
I'm intensely staring at the chat window right now. Here we go. One. Eleven. OK, that was close to the thing I chanted. I shouldn't have said that last part, but. Ten dice rolls. Not a single one of them. Seventeen or higher. That is extraordinarily lucky for you guys. Thank you. Thank God. You're going to continue to ride and these trees are just going to strike everywhere and eventually that funnel is going to stop. Like you're going to watch it dissipate a bit. But man, a lot of damage was done to the surrounding area. And while the rain is going to continue, you are going to continue riding north unabated.
And I think that is a good time for us to stop for the evening. Honestly, like more panic inducing than being in battle. Yeah. Yes, you can get killed instantly because we don't have any control. Like she was a different action by Jason. Yes. I'd like to give a nice fuck you for the second that we're like, yeah, Brianna will edit this episode. You included something that's going to require at least an hour fully work. I'm sorry. Thanks for that. I'm just kidding. Like, OK, cool. So a storm, 10 trees slamming down at different distances that have been established.
Wow, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot. Horses running. Yeah. That's going to be fun for me. Extra points if you play with the stereo and make it sound like the tree is landing in one side of the other of their headphones. Oh, yeah. That's what sets us apart from other podcasts. That's true. I've never got to do that before. So that would be really neat. It's super fun. Yeah. But holy shit, that's that's luckier than lucky, guys. I don't want to stop. I want to keep our luck going. Yeah. Jason, anybody, I'm sorry about the bad luck. Watch out for stairs for the next week.
Any black cat spears. Well, we have a we have a ranch style condo, so like no second floor. So we're good, man. We really hope you guys enjoy today's episode. Be careful when you laugh at a friend, because sometimes you end up editing the episode like I did today. Yeah. Sometimes things just don't work out like you think they're going to. I really hope you guys enjoyed it. Obviously, there's a little more editing with this one than usual, but I think it came out pretty good. Also, I'm going to take the time to remind you guys every single second of every single day until the 20th of April that we're getting ready for Theriathon.
And we already have Group B and C scheduled and we're working with a group of people to do a third session that day. So that's three sessions, 12 hours of streaming as we launch the Kickstarter for our setting book. You guys have been invaluable in shaping that. We've been asking your opinions the entire way, and you guys have given us some amazing ideas. And we've just been trying to cram everything in this 300 page book, a 300 plus page book. Jesus, I don't even know how much that that we think you guys are going to want to see. So again, thank you so much for your feedback.
If you swing on over to patreon.com/dandr, we'll be posting another bump in the night this month. We're recording another vampire, or at least we're trying to. And we are also posting a Living in Theria where you guys asked us a slew of questions. We kind of did a free for all. So any question you wanted to ask about anything, which we've never done before, but you guys really gravitated to it. So we might do it a second month in a row. If you're on our Discord server for just $5 a month, we have a channel that's just for Living in Theria. And we filled up with 65 questions, I think, just overnight.
I think it filled up in a day, something like that. So God, thank you guys. And we'll be recording that really soon. I hope you guys enjoy it. In the meantime, if you have anything you'd like to ask us or say, and you're not on our Discord or whatever, send an email to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. And I'll do my best to answer it in a super speedy fashion. Also, your iTunes reviews recently have been really, really helpful and nice, so thank you guys. We will see you next week with another brand new episode, and get ready for April 20th.
Bye guys, we'll see you next week.