The Perfect Town
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[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.
Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Before we get started with today's show, I just wanted to thank every single person out there. By the time you're listening to this, our Kickstarter will only have a couple of hours left, or it'll be completely over, depending on when in the week you listen to this. Now, it far surpassed what we thought it was going to do. We now have lots of extra stuff to work on for the book, so thank you guys so much.
We're basically going to get to work. And as soon as the money eventually clears into the business account, we're going to be able to hire artists, and they're going to be busy for a while. So if you did back our Kickstarter, we'll be giving you frequent updates probably every other week, and then we wanted to do like a video stream once a month, where Mebre and Jameson pretty much gave you guys a lowdown on what we've been working on, and let you know the progress of everything. So again, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you so much. It would not have been as successful without every single person there.
And all of our friends who have D&D podcasts or blogs or what have you, all of you guys who shared this, thank you so much. And please feel free to hit us up at any time if there's a project we can help you with. Arq.2 Episode 70 of the D&R Podcast is brought to you by the lovely folks over at WorldAnvil.com Previously for Group A, after an exhausting trip and a fight or two, to make their way to the town of Durn Hollow, the group finally catches their breath and settles into the tiny town to hopefully catch a little bit of a break. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves.
I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, starting with Michael. Hey, I'm Michael and I play Amven, the half-elf wizard with low health points. [Laughter] And Susan. Hi, I'm Susan. I play Madeline, Riawynn and I have triple Amven hit points. [Laughter] Amven units, please. [Laughter] And James. Hi, it's James and I play Masoka, the reborn rogue. And Xavier. Hey, I'm Xavier and I play Donovan, the human fighter, who has four Amvens. [Laughter] And Kelsey. I'm Kelsey and I play Aster, the elf archer, and I don't know how many Amvens I'm in, but I think it's around three, maybe. [Laughter] It's very important to know how many Amvens you are.
Yeah. Hey, Robin. Hey, I'm Robin playing Ubo, the half-orc druid of the mountain. So I just thought of something. This episode is being recorded before Theriathon, but won't be posted until after Theriathon. So right now we're in like Schrodinger's Kickstarter. Like, I don't know. I assume everything went well, but I don't know. Man, wasn't it great when we funded the DNR cruise? We just hit that stretch goal like straight out the gate for 24 hours. Oh, man. You guys remember when we bought Critical Role? It was crazy. [Laughter] Yeah, assign Matt Mercer some more push-ups. [Laughter] Guys, it is the 24th of Feriur and you are rolling into the town of Durinalo.
As everyone out there knows, you guys are trying to make your way to the city of Donhurst to see what's going on, but we found out some depressing facts calendar-wise before this session during our excruciatingly long pregame session, which was a blast and you guys should listen to it. But it has been exactly one year since you guys fought old Claudius. Mm-hmm. You guys, if you get past Durinalo and then the Divide, you're a hop, skip, and a jump away from Donhurst. So I believe in you guys. That being said, you are going to roll into this little town.
It's very much a two-street town. It's just basically a main street and a couple of all-shoots, little alleys and stuff. There are a couple of buildings that will draw your eye immediately. Obviously, stuff like the Honest Harlot. Very, very hustle and bustle. That is where a lot of people hang their hat for the day. There's also places like Cherry Blossom Heaven, which is a competing brothel. And they're kind of catty-cornered away from each other. They kind of have a stare-off going on across the street. What would you guys like to do, rolling into town?
Is this a brief stop for you or are you getting some rest? Because you've been on the road for five or six days to get here. What? Oh, go ahead. Sorry. I was just going to say, the journey from Aubrey was a little rough. Indeed. What time of day is it? I'd say it's noon-ish. Okay. It's kind of late enough for an adventuring day. As we walk into town, Donovan does the thing where he'll take a few steps ahead of the party and turn around and keep walking backwards, talking to them as they walk into town. All right, everyone, this is it. This is our last civilized stop before our big mission.
It's already noon. I suggest we rest up here. We restock our adventuring supplies and we eat and we have a little drink. We sleep well. We find warmth tonight. Let's just have one good time. Because after that, it's just going to be a heck of a long walk. I can get down with that. That's... Do I see anything that would interest me? Is it like a maid shop or anything that would be pretending to cater to those? Or is it mostly like your lower towns have just got the basic supplies? And it doesn't really go with that. Okay. Darn Hollow is more of a... It's more of an entertainment town.
Not so much on the fancy book readings. They do have a school, but it's mostly to teach younger children. It's more of a daycare center/school than anything. Not really a library or anything like that. That was more of an Aubrey thing. But there's plenty of places to unwind and relax, have a drink, that type of thing. So, Amvin actually relaxes in libraries. So obviously this is the anti-Amvin location. So I'm going to leap in as soon as possible. But I will be just back to Donovan. Yeah. I'm all good to relax, make sure we're all in good mindset. Maybe I'll do some studying tonight and prep to see if there's anything...
If I have anything to know about LA Upcoding Road, from my travel over here the first time I came by with the group, to Winterhaven originally. Yeah, then you can relax. Unless you guys want to do anything else. No, just relaxing is fine. Actually I have some shopping I want to do first. And he patted his backpack. Let's pick a good spot to have some good food and some good drinks. And he kind of like eeny, meeny, miny, moes between the Honest Charlotte and... What's the other one? Cherry Blossom Heaven? Cherry Blossom Heaven. Would any of both attract his attention more?
Or are they kind of like on par? Well, okay. If you were to look at both places, they both have a different feel. Cherry Blossom Heaven's a little more rustic. You get the sense that it's more of a gambling location. If you were to make a pie chart, it's probably two thirds kind of gambling, drinking, almost a saloon feel. With some brothel stuff on the side. The Honest Charlotte is like eight tenths brothel and bar. There may be a card game going or something like that, but there's shows and stuff. They're much more about like, "Come in, put your feet up!" That type of thing.
They're more welcoming, whereas the other location's a little more rough and tumble. Alright, eeny, meeny, miny, moe, we're going to the Honest Charlotte. You can just find me there. Probably some of the rest of us, right? And he looks at the rest of the party. Is the inn also... Is there an inn or is it attached to the brothels? It is attached to the brothels. That's what I wondered. It's a way to get... You can rent rooms for the night or for the hour. Is that the tagline? That's more of an understanding than a tagline. I'm just right on the door. Well, we should probably figure out where we're staying the night.
I mean, if you're already heading to one... Yeah, lead the way. Alright, so he takes Anven and Astor by the shoulders and starts walking towards the Honest Charlotte. Oh god. Can I ask a question of you, Xavier? Yes. I could have said any time of day and this would have been a good stopping point, wouldn't it? Yes. Okay. I appreciate your honesty. I would just have changed my wording. Ooh, noon. Been a long day, guys. So walking into this place again, lots of bustle, lots of hustle, lots of clanging drinks. And there are all kinds of people walking around. The second you walk in, someone is going to approach you and ask you if you'd like to take a seat.
Basically, it's like, what are you here for? We can take a seat if you want to sit at the bar and have a drink or we can usher you to a private table. If you're more of a high roller, they have these padded booths that are private, little VIP seating. Is the whole group here or did some people prefer this thing outside? Yeah, what's Ubo's take on this? Ahsoka would have come. Yeah, Mattie would have followed. I mean, Ubo's not just going to like, I guess, go off with nobody. He comes along, but he's just kind of off in his own head. He's just following. Yeah, seeing that Donovan would be like, yeah, Ubo, come with us.
We're going to have a great time. I'm sure you'll have a great time, man. Do you know what Ubo needs? Some company. What? Hangover, DNR style. Yeah, you see how that goes for you. You try to get Ubo some company, you see what happens. I mean, it's their job to be welcoming. Yeah, so this is definitely the kind of place where if you're looking, okay, you wouldn't have a business lunch in here, right? So the second you sit down, people are going to flock to you to see if they can offer you drinks or meals or company, that type of thing. If you'd like to rent a room for a while, if you want to go talk privately, that type of thing.
Wait, do they have therapy here? I mean, in a sense. Yeah, so it's very like they also offer massages. Well, we'll just start with a private booth, guys. Have the food and drinks rolling and maybe come join us and bring some of your colleagues and just we'll just have a good talk. Oh, they're going to love you. Oh, man. Okay. Do me a favor. How, okay, is this are you kind of walking in with like, okay, basically, what's your best stuff? A private booth? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep it coming. That type of thing. Like, are you making it clear? It's like, oh, no, we're we're making it rain today.
Like you. Yeah, you're going to like us. I assume that, yes, but I'm also repping a monitor in a very holy manner. Hey, look, they're not here to judge. Yeah. Yeah, I guess the impression would be, yeah, we're going to make it rain. Okay. All right. I don't know. I hear Masocha got a lot of money. Masocha is going to get up and excuse himself. He's going to say, I'm just going to go to the bar for a bit. Maddie, you want to come with me? Yeah. Maddie will go with him. Okay, good. Google. Yeah. It's two scenes now or? Yeah, and now they will go to the bar. I can't tell whether this is cute or painful.
Nothing happened. We're just on our part. So, Ubo. Okay, so my understanding is it's Maddie, Masocha and then Anvin, Ubo, Astor, Donovan in the in the private booth. So this is okay. So when you walk in, if you cut to the right, there's kind of like a bit of a small hallway and then they're going to lead you to this private booth. So it's this kind of wraparound couch situation and it's kind of in a pit. Right. So it's like 70s living room where you step down into. You know what I'm saying? Like you got shad carpeting and stuff. The lights are a little lower here.
You got candle light and stuff, but like their curtains drawn. It's very welcoming. And they're going to go ahead and light a couple of candles on your table in front of this couch situation. Oh, man. Are the candles scented? I mean, you know what? Astor, give me a flat D10. Okay, let's go. How scented are they? Oh, man. I'm allergic. Okay, here's the thing. A lot of establishments would go with this gaudy, overpowering floral affair. No, no, no, not the harlot. That's a nine you rolled. It's just a whisper. Like it's just it's like, oh, that's very pleasant, but it's not overpowering.
It's not like, you know, too much cologne or perfume type of thing. It's just it's like, man, this is it's like a it's like a it's like a very light sandalwood type of thing. It's very relaxing. Nice. Very classy. And they're going to start bringing you drinks and more sipping beverage, kind of a kind of a champagne type of thing. Like you're celebrating like you guys are out of the town and a couple of people are going to come over to you guys. There's going to be a tiefling man and he's kind of dressed in a costume type of thing. Bare chested, kind of a loincloth affair.
And he's coming over with a human woman and he's going to that Dave marked who is who's the speaker, who's the leader of the party. Right. And that's Donovan. That probably the hostess would have liked that guy right there. So tiefling guy is going to walk up to to Donovan. Hi, I'm Kevin. Kevin. And he's going to point point to his associate. That's Amber. Kevin, Amber, would you care to join us? I'm Donovan. And they're going to they're going to look at each other. Oh, we'd be pleased to. And the same with your energy. And they're going to they're going to flank Donovan, like sit down one on each side.
Aster gives kind of like a fond eye roll. They're just like, aha. Like like they're like smiling like, yeah, this is Donovan. Like this is they're glad he's a join in. And these are my friends. And I mean, we're more than friends at this point, but Aster, Amven and Ubo. Amber's going to offer a handout to Ubo charmed. Like, is she like kind of like like what I want to say, is she like does she look like like fragile and like like thin or like what's? I would say she looks soft. Does she look like city like city soft? Oh, city so city soft. She wouldn't survive a night out in the wilderness with you guys.
No, this is she is that she is pretty pampered, I'd say. So she's offering her hand out not to shake, but like, oh, you can kiss it. Ubo, Ubo take like I imagine his hand being just like massively bigger than hers. And he just like takes her hand at like the palm in the back of the hand between two of his fingers, shakes it up and down twice and then lets go. And obviously, their job is basically not to not to bat an eye. It's like that. That's normal. I'm here. Basically, I'm here to keep you company and get paid. So whatever. That's fine. Well, whatever.
Whatever you think is normal is normal to us. Exactly. Yeah. One of those. I want I want to roll a d10 now. I want to see something. OK, so Kevin. While this is happening is very like like we're talking not exactly smooth. So picture teenagers out on a date and the guy goes to yawn and stretch and wrap an arm around somebody. So he is going to like kind of stretch out his arms. And then when he rests his right hand back on his thigh, he's going to rest his left on Donovan's thigh. Donovan's going to smile at Kevin. Oops, I hit my mic. He's going to lean in and just talk softly.
And Kevin's ear is going to say, I'll be straightforward, Kevin. I don't have the kind of money for the kind of night I need, but I know you're professionals. And if you just keep us company, well, you'll just be paid for it and I'll keep the drinks coming. But I don't think I'm going to go there today. My friends, however. They like camera pan over to Ubo. He's like using his pinky to dig out his ear. How's Anvin treating this? It's a good question. On a scale of one to I'm really uncomfortable right now. Well, he's actually in this weird spot where he just, I mean, not too long ago was dead and also didn't realize he was dead because there was no after effects.
So he's in this like like part of. Yeah, I should just go back to being the way I was, but then was also like, we could die any minute. So he's just like he's he doesn't have his book out and not paying attention like normal. And then he he's like scouting the whole thing, but not sure. Like he's he's overthinking everything to be like, should I just let go? Because you only live once and there's other like, no, you need to be on track. You need to focus. You have all this to do. So he's like he just looks visibly conflicted. Would not even pick up on this.
Roller perception. Yeah. Or insight, I guess. Well, yeah, insight, I guess it depends on how visible this is on like Anvin's face. But yeah, it's probably better. I said, oh, same, same modifier. Well, let me roll this. Twelve. So Donovan's distracted. Yeah. I think maybe from your point of view, it looks like I'm focusing like always. So it could be OK. That's that's good enough. Can I roll? Sure. No. If I see I've been just kind of like zoning out or like. Yeah. He kind of go like leaning forward towards the avenue and go, Anvin. Why don't you recount a few days ago our battle, how you just lit up those bandits and Ubo too.
You both share that kind of like electricity. How that fight go. Yes, we we seem to have the spark. I mean, I hurt bad people very badly. Yeah, that's just start. So, OK, you're OK. Donovan's obviously trying to get you to open up. It's like, hey, yeah, they're they're interested. And whether they're being paid to be interested or not, like Donovan's along for the ride. And you guys are just like not either not picking up on it or not having it. But the same that you're getting the same reaction no matter what. Like, ever is like, that's fascinating. Like that, like like just like not like like resting, resting her cheek on on her hand, like she's listening intently, just like wrapped attention.
After just like Granny just watching this happen. What about you, Esther? Well, can you tell them about the time we fought old Claudius? It was exactly one year ago. Well, you see the bear way. I don't know. It's my my part of the fights isn't really that impressive. Just a bunch of arrows and stuff. I mean, we really want to get the good stories. We should get more out of these magic folks over here at the big zappy lightning kind of stuff. And they sort of like wiggle their fingers a bit. While this is going on, let's catch up with the bar because I feel like Maddie and Basou get out of the fun.
Let's let's. So you guys go to sit down at this bar and a picture, picture a real cheers set up where the bar wraps all the it's one big square like. And there's a lovely drow woman named Cessba who is tending bar with a couple of different people. And she's going to walk up to you just like going to assume that you're a couple just the way you walk up there, but not indicate that not jump in. It's like, well, what can I get you to? Is Maddie drink? Yeah. Yeah. OK. She took a spring of your flask. Right. Yes. Maddie will speak up first, actually. I'll just take a nail.
Yeah, me too. And a shot of something. And can you fill this up, please? And her flask empty for a while, I think. And you'll notice his hands kind of shaking as he hands it to her. Oh, no, that's probably not the first time she's seen that. Oh, man. So, yeah, she's going to she's going to go ahead and get your get your stuff. Yeah. And now that you said that, I don't think Maddie, she'd be like, is that from not having it or is that nerves? Let's see where this goes. OK, well, I imagine they'd probably sit their backs to to the bar so they can kind of look over the crowds.
Keep an eye on their friends. Yeah. I don't want to make any assumptions or anything, but I thought maybe you wouldn't want to be there. I mean, you can go back if you want. I thank you. Yeah, I wouldn't know how to deal with it. Yeah. Same where most of these women start out. Well, if you know Donnie's. Yeah, I don't think he's going to hold back tonight. Well, he's entitled to some fun. We've been through some rough times. Yeah, that's for sure. How are you feeling? I'm not used to this. Are there any rules with this whole the monitor thing? You know, like I tried being all, I don't know.
High and mighty or something when we were back there fighting and it just felt ridiculous. Maddie is going to like hold back a smile like she doesn't want it to seem like she's laughing at him, but it's just amused at the situation. No, no, no. Miss Oka, I never wanted to convert any of you. That was never I never felt like that was my calling. I just wanted to go out into the world. But it seems like it seems like I'm drawing you guys in and I don't. This is something you have to be committed to and something you feel and I don't want you to feel obligated.
Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I mean, I'm the last guy who would want to follow a monitor. I mean, with what I grew up with. Yeah. But this voice I'm getting inside my head is I mean, I'm pretty sure that's a monitor. And I don't know why. Why would a monitor pick me? I'm sorry, I went straight to Lego movie and it was like Empty Vessel. Like, you know, I have the special. OK, sorry. I. He must see something in you and I see it, too. There's you have great warmth in you, Miss Oka. And you want to do right. And maybe that's maybe that's why.
I'm not that good a person. I mean, I've done some bad things. And to tell you the truth, I have a big itch to steal something. And I'm trying really hard not to. I was never one to preach at people or tell them how to live their lives, and I'm not going to start now. You do whatever feels right to you and I will trust that. You will do right. I. You know, I haven't told anybody this except, I guess. And then she's going to like put her hand like she's going to lean on to the bar and put her head on her hand, except maybe Ubo. I'm actually no longer part of the church of monitor, so I'm probably not the best person to go to with these types of questions.
What? You've. Like you said, you left the church, she's just going to look defeated. Like at this point, she's had like a few days to think about this. That's not even like a open word is just like, oh, God, this is where I'm at now. Yeah. I could look. It could be part of a church that was going to be led by Clarissa. Oh, they they were going to choose her to lead them. And then the first sign of trouble, the very first sign of trouble, she turns to demons. That was her first instinct. Yeah. I mean, I don't know her, but. Well, it's like I told us, sometimes people do bad things for the right reasons, but.
OK, so you're asking me all these questions about how to live a life of a monitor and what he's expecting or why he chooses you. Well, I was raised in the church, as was Clarissa. We were both brought up that a monitor would guide us, a monitor would show us the light, that trust in a monitor, that he will always be our hope, that in our times of need, he would be there. But in her time of need, she didn't rely on her faith. She relied on demons. I'm sorry, I just. No, no, no. This this is important. Do you think she ever talked to the monitor? I don't know.
I mean, I mean, you know, I mean, I didn't believe in this until like a couple of days ago. So I always had a struggle in my brain with, you know, this God's thing is like if you never saw the God, then. Why would you even believe it was there? In my case, it gave me hope, still gives me hope, I still believe in a monitor. You know, God or the gods usually don't talk to people. Well, I admit I'd never heard of that before. You know, that makes you pretty dang special, Miss Oka. Yeah, I can't even begin to wrap my head around that. I'm. I'm kind of nobody.
Well, you're our nobody. If you have any questions, I would be happy to try and ask. I mean, I don't really know how it works, but. Again, holding back a smile, I think this is something that I'm going to have to come to terms with. But I really do appreciate it, Miss Oka. And just having you all around me really helps. Yeah, me too. If you don't need a church anyway. Right. I mean, you can believe in a monitor and. Just go live your life. Or we could if we go back to brightport like I was told to. We could take over monitors, like. Start something new and worthy.
So this whole like flash is going to go over Maddie's face and she suddenly realized that her whole like mission in life was this pilgrimage. And now she's not a part of that church anymore. So now what was she supposed to do? But then as soon as you start saying like, we need to go back to brightport, she's going to grab onto that and light up again. Yes. After after after this mission, we should do that. Right. I mean, there's a lot there's lots to do there. I mean, brightport is a dirty city, but we can start small. Yeah, I mean, a monitor told you it told us to go back there.
So or to go there and help it. Let's do that. Let's let's let's spread some light. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to disobey a monitor. That's crazy. Well, yeah, let's let's have a drink to that. Yeah. Raise glass. I actually have a glass. I'll do the fully work once I get this is going to sound great. Did it go? You're welcome. Jason, just out of curiosity. What's going on at the table that evening? What would it cost on average? Yeah. OK, well, I would. OK, so I guess I'd have to ask a few questions. Like, how long are you there? Is this so you should you wrote in around noon.
You know, it's been a long day. So do you are you there till like the evening? Are you staying the night? Do you have company at the table the entire time? How much are you eating and drinking? Because the way it sounded. I believe the exact words were keep it coming. Yeah, that's what I said. But that really depends on the rest of the little party we have, because if nobody talks, it might end earlier. Right. So well, OK, let's say two things before I don't want to cut anybody off, but they are going to bring food and drink. So, you know, you don't have to like you can have your mouth full of food.
You don't have to conversate, but it's like wood. Amven, Ubo or even Astrid. I'm not sure if Astrid is comfortable, but would you guys relax a little bit? Well, it's like, hey, we're off the road. This is a nice this is a nice little place we're sitting in. And food and drink are nice. Ubo doesn't really calm down. Like if this goes on for like about an hour and it's clear, it's just like, oh, this is going to be a long thing. He'll actually like get up and say like, I'm going for a walk, basically. Amven for every how many drinks do you think we've had?
Because I think I'm just started to drink more. They're there on the table. It's up to you. They're there. Hold on. Do me a favor. Roll a d6. Yeah. Four. Higher than all of the HP. Yeah. Boy, your blood alcohol levels just all screwed up. There's not very much of him. He's actually more bourbon than man right now. What do you figure like an hour of the table entertainment would cost? Everything totaled up. OK, so Kevin and Amber are the A game. Because it's not like they were busy. It's noon. And you know what I mean? Like it's like noon on a Wednesday. Usually that's B team stuff.
But like it's I mean, it's like, oh, this is the VIP section. So I would say with the drinks and the food, if you guys are chilling for an hour. They would probably round it up to two if you're going to sit there for a little while. We're probably looking at like one hundred and fifteen gold. I'm five gold short, guys. OK. Masocha is going to turn to the barkeep. What's her name? Sespa. He's going to drop 200 gold on the counter. Damn. And say a table over there. Could you keep him entertained until this cash runs out of gold? He's used to that. Wow. OK. You made a friend today, first.
Because she is going to absolutely take care of your friends. OK, here's the thing about Sespa. Sespa's been working there for a long time and you probably see some assholes, right? Probably quite a few assholes, especially in the heyday of Durn Hollow. What? No. You know, the racists and slavers. Those that element has been driven out. But it's kind of rare for someone to walk in and because sometimes when people are paying for company, they are the entitled customer, let's put it. You're being very nice. And you guys walked in. There was no trouble. Sometimes adventures can be rowdy.
Sometimes they throw fireballs indoors. Oh, wait, I have a new spell. But not you guys. You guys have been really pleasant. And 200 gold. That's a lot. So, yeah, she is absolutely going to take care of you. Probably give you a couple of free drinks for the road or at least fill up your the the the the flaskets. Like that's that's on me. Don't worry about it. Would you like some food or something like that? Just being very, very nice to you guys. Awesome. Definitely take some food. Yeah. So I think we'll just look at Maddie and be like, yeah, when you steal things, you don't really have to spend money.
Sort of trying to justify where that money is coming from. Well, they're good. Yeah. Last year, remember, he stole one gold from Donovan and that was how much he had. Sure, Donovan stays alive. Donovan doesn't know what he just has a subscription to Masocha. I've been gifted a sub. Maddie will just raise her eyebrow and sit better drink. I guess you make money in Aubrey. Whatever. She's so weird. Hey, Amven. Yes. Would you do me the biggest favor? Sure. Give me a con save with disadvantage. Disadvantage. Con, you said? Oh, yeah. All right. Wow. Damn. So we dropped a 15 to take 15, basically.
So, wow. OK. Amven's OK. Amven's a little looser, but you would expect no offense. You'd expect this little guy to be hammered. He's I mean, he's just banging shots back and he's like a champ. You see, back in Uminiro, you see, you have to put these up. You line them up. We call this the fire line. And so, oh, my God. Uminiro is such a like a fresh paradise. Donovan, you should come to Uminiro sometime and you will just have a blast. Well, I'm thinking about picking up some magic now. When we like had the big party in the evergreen, did Amven get wasted or not?
I can't. Yes. OK, that's what I thought. So, OK, he was part of sad group. There was a sad group. I feel like that was the goal that night, though. Yeah, Amven had a lot going on and I feel like it's like, no, no, I am getting drunk. Yes. So I feel like when Amven starts drinking, Astor is almost like watching with like the same expectation. And when he like clearly is not very much affected, there's like, oh, like the tiniest bit of like weariness there. Because it's like, uh huh. Got brought back from the dead through blood ritual and now you're not affected by alcohol.
Well, I think I think the only conclusion we can we can get from this is that he's so much hardier now. So with combat going forward. Or we had a lot of bread or something before. I guess when the time would be up for Masocha's gold and they sort of like let us know that. Donovan would grab his last drink and he'd stand up and sort of bring his hand to his chest. Just before we leave, I'd like I'd like you all to join me in prayer, please. Wow. I'd like to honor the fallen in the past few days. Some very good people died under our care. But thanks to the grace of a monitor, they came back.
I've lost friends, but I've regained friends. And he looks over at Masocha and says, even if today I lost a good brothel buddy, we're all back together. And that that means the world to me. And he takes his glass. He kisses it and brings it brings it up like a toasting gesture. He said, he says, I've been practicing a little something. I just want to thank Kirkland Sumner, one of the greatest legendary heroes out there. If you can hear me, please, Kirkland. I'm telling you, this drinking is all for you. It's all holy. And he takes out a little paper note and he said he starts reading it and he says.
Blessed be thine wine as it touches thine lips. Let let it transubstantiate into courage and may it go down smoothly, like my blade onto my enemies and I onto my lovers, a monitor. Wow. OK, so we both have been practicing this. Oh, man. So, OK, Amber's got this lilt to her voice, kind of almost valley girlish, but like, OK, after you're done, she is literally going to wipe a tear from her eye. You are so pious. And she is she's she's going to give Donovan a hug. Like you touched her. You touched her in the heart. Astor was like staring at Donovan the whole time, like not sure whether this is a joke or he's being serious.
And then when he gets to that last line into this lover, they're going to start like cracking up a bit. He might still be serious. I know. But that line was just like that. That was a bit too much. I want you when you start laughing, not like, but like when you react to it, like Donovan just smiles and just like, yeah, yeah, like it worked. Yeah. If Ubo has not found a way to leave for that walk, he definitely leaves after that. Yeah, I figure. So, OK, here's the thing. This place is not for Ubo of OK, towns are not for Ubo. This town is so not for Ubo. So, yeah, I would imagine because of the way Donovan handled this whole thing, your time probably would have been up around the two hour mark.
But Cesspa would probably give you an hour on the house and she would probably offer a discount for two rooms. Nice. If you were interested. Yeah, well, we need a place to stay for the night. Can we postpone this time and rooms like for later? You mean like when you're rolling back through? No, no. Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah, no, no, no. Good. Like for tonight, like you're very much travelers. It's pretty obvious. So these aren't the hourly rooms. OK, cool. No, no, no, no, no. This is like Cesspa is actually quite impressed with Donovan because it's like, OK, you, you, you're basically you're cool in her book.
You made a friend. Nice. Masocha, probably more so because of the way like, OK, Donovan was really cool and handled the the talent, let's say, very, very, very nicely. And Masocha obviously paid. So. Oh, yeah. He wins. Yeah, that's money talks. 200 gold talks a lot. So that being said. How are you guys feeling? Is there is there some way you'd like to be on the obvious restock arrows? I know that bothers Aster losing arrows. Is there something you'd like to do in town? Is there is there this is the this is last chance gas, basically. Is there something you need before tackling whatever might be awaiting you in Donhurst?
Yeah, well, just like on the practical side, I really need healing potions for damn sure. Oh, that's probably not a bad idea. Oh, OK. Good, good, good. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. I was like, I probably just want to like stroll around town just to see if there's anything else of interest. But yeah, healing potions for sure. Yeah, there's a there's a lovely place called Better Than Goods. How did you come up with these store names? I'm from the guy that hates puns. Yeah, I know. Look, I live in a house with two people who love them, so that's my curse. I'm really good at them.
I hate them. Lies. You love them. We all know. I was picturing you laying awake in bed at three in the morning. Yeah, Better Than Goods. Yeah. You thought this campaign enemy was a dragon? So that store is actually really, really nice. If you walk in, there's stuff lining the walls. It is obviously a general good store, but there's a couple of knickknacks and stuff because the divide is so damn close. And this is definitely a stop on the way type of town. There's some weapons and armor. And boy, howdy, do they have a plethora. You're pick of the litter for healing potions.
And there's a wonderful woman by the name of Ava who works there. And she has a two year old daughter. Oh. And yeah, the daughters usually raid in the shop because, you know, daycare is expensive. So, you know, it's take your kid to work day. I mean, I'm such a real place. Time to get back. I'm on my way. So who's going? Is this like are we saying the group reunited at a certain point and you're all just like, OK, let's stock up? I'm assuming so. OK, you guys get the battering ram this time? Yes. Oh, yeah. This is second chance. Maybe I'll get a shovel again. Oh, yeah.
I just gave it. I need more soap. I think it's still in my inventory. It's just like a zero in the quantity. You have zero shovel. There's room for more. What kind of healing potion are you looking for? Because, OK, we got the base, right? We got your standard healing vendors, greater healing, superior healing. Obviously, they get it all depends upon the price. Yeah. How much do they cost and what do they do? Ah, so your standard out of the gate potion of healing. You're talking depending on whether or not you can sweet talk or schmooze a shopkeeper. The base cost we're talking the market value is 50 gold.
That is the smallest healing potion you can get in. It basically it's a bandaid. It's a 2d4 plus two if we're talking meta. OK, that's almost full health for me. If you're talking a potion of greater healing, that depends on the area. But this area, you're probably going to pay around 150, 175 gold. Again, depending on how well you know the shopkeeper. Some areas sell them for as high as 500 gold. That's really if they're putting the screws to you. That's 4d4 plus four. I'm just going to stop like booze. And we won't even get a disappear your healing. Yeah, no need.
How much is the lesser one again? Potion of healing market value is 50. Oh, yeah, I'll have one of those please. Hey, you know, you could strike up a conversation. Try to be. You're just the person. You're the talking man. Yeah, it's all real and deal with single mother. Good job. Yeah, that's yeah. For flavor text, Mattie is probably playing with the two year old child. Oh, her name is Tani, by the way. Tani. OK. That's adorable. So if that butters her at all. Hey, they're playing with my child. That's actually so OK. That's the family's last name. But the kid just goes by Tani just because like that's that's what she can pronounce.
Her first name's Thena. OK, so do you want to try and roll a little persuasion check just like if you were to strike up a conversation, you walk in. It's like, oh, hey, we're head down on her. Do you recommend it? Yeah, that's it. Yeah. I'm going to try and roll a little persuasion check just like if you were to strike up a conversation, you walk in. Yeah. I don't know if you did you want me to just roll or do a thing? Just roll. You don't have to like this is just like a casual conversation. Yeah. We're just trying to be big heroes. Persuasion. Wow. It's a crit.
It's 26. Wow. So you're feeling good after the honest harlot. You're relaxed. Yeah, I know. She has two kids. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. So, yeah, she is just going to love this group. Maybe she heard a couple of nice things from from the honest harlot. Because you got to imagine people talk to each other, right? Like it's like, oh, hey, they might be coming by for supplies, that type of thing. So especially people who are dropping 200 gold for a few hours of entertainment. Holy shit. In a different time, you would be murdered for that. Because they would just assume you have at least 200 gold.
You probably got more. So. You're welcome to try. We still got fireballs ready to go. Yeah, it's always ready. Check this out. Those healing potions. 35 gold for you. Ooh, I want some. All of us. Get the group. Like, yeah, you're yeah. This is a catch more flies with honey situation. I'm taking two then. All right. I'm taking three. Ooh. I'll also take two. I almost died. OK, you guys subtract money from yourselves and I'll add potions. So let's go. Got it. Can you throw in a shovel? We've got a deal. You know what? Coming at you. Quick math. Mattie got two. Yes. And I already subtracted the gold.
Nice. Nice, nice, nice. So two potions of healing. Three for Donovan. My mousoka. Sorry. Two for Don. Down to 298. I guess Ubo will buy two as well, I guess. OK. How do I put potions? Oh, potions. I got you. I'm ready. Look at you. I took a. So I think, I assume mousoka would have gone up to the counter. I'm going to take three potions, please, of healing and some black grass. I brought some of that weed. OK. I think she's got a roll of perception check to see if she heard you. You're going to have to speak up a little bit. She's going to lean in and say, "I'm sorry you trailed off." He's going to look at the kid and sort of look back and kind of lean in.
Some black grass. And she's going to go, "Oh, OK, OK." And yeah, that'll cost you a little extra. Let's say, OK, are you looking for just a little bit or are you looking for a pouch of it to get you through the divide? Yes. You know what? OK, here's what I want you to do. Give me a persuasion check. Because this is some special inventory. It's not good. It's not great. Not bad. Not bad. It's OK. You know what? She's going to give you a pretty decent deal because you're friends with Donovan. You rolled in. You guys were really nice. And 50 gold. And that would be enough for seven uses.
OK. OK. All right. Thank you. I have nerves of glass, you see, and I need to relax sometimes. So thank you very much. And she'll be like, "It's medicinal. It's fine." Yeah, of course. It's legal in turn, hello. From Alabama to Canada. I'm telling you, two years they turned around. Their prime minister is gorgeous. Anvin, did Anvin get potions? Anvin's not here. Let's wait a second. Oh, no. No, I'm here. My dogs out. I had my headphones on, so I was listening. I actually only have 20 gold, so I can't afford anything. Oh, no. I spent it all on research. Oh, right. You have to...
Here's 15 more. So one potion of healing. Apparently I already have one in my bag, so that'll make two. Sweet. Very good for the ark. Yeah. Is there a way to put black grass in my inventory? There sure is. I'll hook you up. Do you want to just put like seven beside it and I'll just count those uses? I took the money off, so... Good, good, good. I got you. Awesome. Hey, maybe he won't use it, you know? It's just... It's there. It's nice to have. Exactly. Oh, wait. Hold on. What just happened? Oh, it alphabetized it. There we go. Oh, it's fine there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're good.
Okay. Uh... Oh, a shovel. I got to get you a shovel. Oh, I just had it. It's still there. I just had it. Okay, you have one unit of shovel. Good. Yes. Thank you. So at a certain point... For the serving of shovel. Once... Once in my bag between a short sword and a tinderbox. At a certain point, little Teni's gonna walk up and kind of slap Ubo on the thigh. Just like, you know that little thing like two year olds do? They're just like, "I'm gonna interact with this toy now." Like it's very, you know... They just yell gibberish at him? Yeah, basically. Yeah, that's what they do.
Doesn't mind us. Umm... I don't know how... Ubo presumes that the child wants to like go through where he's standing and so he just like steps out of the way. He's like, "Oh, you want to come through?" So there's gonna be like this little dance of like Ubo trying to rotate to move out of the way and the kid's just going to reposition and like follow Ubo the entire time. So I imagine this is going to be happening while you guys are checking out. Anything else for you guys? I'm good. Alright. Let's get to the divide. Okay. So, uhh... If you guys don't have anything else you'd like to do in Durn Hollow, we can get you guys rested for the evening and get you on the road.
Well, I don't want to not use a third level spell so I'm just gonna cast Fireball in a random direction. Get out of the shop first. Right. That would be the biggest dick move. It's like, "You guys have been really cool." Just on the way out of town. Long live Draconis. Draconis says hi. Most of these people have no idea. Let's see who's really under this mask. Jake! Guys, I bought some Bojangles. Let's get to this. The 25th of Faryor. You guys are... Man, if any town has treated you right... ...for the right price, it's been Durn Hollow. I would say you are all rested and recharged, refueled and ready for the road.
Could one of you do me a favor and give me a flat D20? I'm rolling pretty hot tonight. I'm on a streak. You want to risk it? I want to risk it. Okay, let's do it. Ooh, fancy! Ooh, baby. Okay. Check this out. You guys know that the journey ahead of you is about to get serious. The Divide is not a place to take lightly. Actually, which one of you, if any of you, know anything about the Divide? I don't think Astra's been this way before. I think I had to cross with my mage group originally. Okay. I'm gonna get dark. I'm gonna get dark. Mattie was probably unconscious going through it.
Oof. Ooh, yeah, wow. Imagine this is new for a while. Astra's gone by boat from one shore to the other and not over land. Okay, Anven. You can give me a history or nature check. They're gonna give you different bits of knowledge. Okay. That's what I'm proficient in. Okay. Alright. Bam. Oof, yeah. Okay. So, how you choose to give this information to the group is entirely up to you. But some of it might be a little sensitive. So, obviously, the spots between the Deadwood and Pyre Forest are known as the Divide. North of the Deadwood actually encompasses the Divide, too.
But the reason it's called that is because it's so damn hard to cross without being jumped. It is a tremendous ambush spot. Mostly not too racially profiled, but mostly orcs. They are hyper-violent. Do not really negotiate. And it's usually kill first, grab their stuff, ask questions later. And merchants traveling through the area, if you have the money, it's smart to hire people to help watch your stuff. Because, man, it is a rough area. There's also some mystery surrounding the Divide. It is not uncommon for people to be found in the woods completely by themselves.
It doesn't look like they were forced there, but they'll just be there completely dehydrated. And they will have just died out in the middle of the woods, wandered completely off the main road. Which is a bit of a mystery to scholars. Not exactly sure why they would do something like that. So you guys know that, again, depending on how much Aemond tells you, that this is a rough spot. As I recall from my experience and probably textbooks, mostly, I don't know. Well, last time we came through here with my group of fellow mages, it was a little squabble, but usually you don't mess with a huge caravan of mages.
But it was an orc party and they didn't last long. But I don't think we're going to have that kind of power power all connected, so let's just be careful going through here. I want us to always be looking in every direction because this is a huge ambush, a big ambush spot. It's an Amvins spot. Yeah, it could be pretty dangerous. I'm probably going to walk in the middle of everybody because I don't know. Because the back here isn't exactly the safe spot coming in there. Oh, sorry. I was just going to ask if we're ditching the cart or not for this part of the journey.
That's a fine question. How fast do we go with or without the cart? Yeah, what benefits does it give us? Comfort, mostly. It's slower to travel with cart, usually. I feel like we should keep it. Keep it until we can't, I think. Because it also doubles as a little prison, right? I mean, if you want it to. Could come in handy. I mean, yeah, I guess. Fandin turns into a werewolf. Okay, look. Fandin would not survive a werewolf fight, let's be clear. Hellhound. Not werewolf. The space between the Deadwood and the Pyre Forest, is that not where we'd be going? Yes. And that's part of the Divide?
Yes. Okay. Yeah, that whole area. If I could draw an area around, it encompasses the north, too. There's a lot of travelers from that Bruegaugh camp. Would there be any benefit to going through the Deadwood? Searching death. I wouldn't. Here's the thing. One, you can't take a cart through there. It's just too thick. Yeah. But that would put you closer to the Bruegaugh camp. I wouldn't. That's all I'm saying. Okay. Now, I mean, I guess I suppose the benefit for that would be that people who are looking to ambush other people well, they'd be waiting near the road, right?
If you went through the forest, well, they wouldn't be looking there. And obviously, anytime you leave the main road, you're dealing with wildlife. Getting flashbacks. I just thought of something hilarious. What if you guys roll completely through the Divide with no trouble? Well, now it's not gonna happen. You couldn't say that before. I was gonna say we had the complete opposite experience of Dernhollow that Group B did, but I didn't want to say it while we were in town. That anybody ever did. Dernhollow's supposed to be like, "There he is, asshole." Basically, isn't it?
Well, I mean, it depends on how you roll in. If you roll in like assholes, you get treated like an asshole. Isn't that the one you compared to the Alabama of There he is? I'm still getting shit from that. Be careful. Yeah, okay. I'm just... No words. Bye-bye. I know, they were my words seven years ago. I'm still talking to people. Lovely folks from the lovely place called Alabama. I went to the Huntsville Space Academy when I was in my first grade of high school. I had a lovely time there. Oh. Yeah. What in space shuttles? I went to Mobile. I did not have a wonderful time.
But that's fine. All I see is 50/50. It's 50/50. Hey, every state's got its... Look where I come from. Good pizza, nothing else. All of the music there is just fantastic. Yeah, look, Daren Hollow's got its rough patches. You guys rolled in, went to the VIP area and got treated very well. There are spots in Daren Hollow that are not so nice. We help the economy. Exact... Oh my God. Yeah. So, okay. All right. With a 15. I'm sorry. Yes, a 15. Go ahead. Sorry. So we're not going through the woods is what we're saying. We're keeping the carriage and... Oh, that's up to you.
I'm sorry. Yes. Yeah, I have to go through the road. Road. Just stay alert. All right, let's do it. With a 15, you are going to make it about a third of the way to Dawnhurst. It's about six days of travel, give or take. So you're going to have to roll two more times to get to Dawnhurst. That being said, it is the 27th unless anybody wanted to do anything. Just I'd like to note that I'm continuing to train with Donovan. Okay. It's been what, like two, three weeks? Yeah, cool. Okay. I'd like to say that one of your aspiring times, Ammon comes up. Do you guys mind if I like join you in the session?
Donovan just smiles. Well, look at that little study group we have here. Yeah, of course you're welcome to join. What's the deal, man? I just want to get stronger, that's all. I don't expect to be wielding blades and plunging it into my enemies, but I need to get some anger out and maybe not be so wispy. I think I've got the perfect workout routine for you, bro. As I raise my eyebrow in contemplation. Can- okay. I'm really curious. Let's see how well Ammon does. Can you give me an athletics check? Sure. Okay. This is just like- All negative two? That's a ten. Real average.
Yeah, that's totally respectable. You work up a good sweat. I don't think anybody would make fun of that. Not at a good gym. No, no, no. I mean, you're not doing one-handed pushups and stuff, but like- Not yet. Not yet, but you're getting- 18 weeks of training. That's right. The Donovan program. Is that or you can do a bunch of yarrow? Oh man, you'll be doing pushups for days. Until your heart explodes. Can hook you up with whatever you prefer. Anybody else looking to do anything? Just at the end of this, like- I don't know, we all have our towels. Let's go back to the changing room.
Donovan's gonna approach Maddie and go, "Hey, Maddie. While we're all learning from each other, I wanted to ask you if you could tell me what kind of headspace you're in when you're meditating. When you do your morning prayer to a monitor. Like, what? Where's your head at? I've been trying to thank Kirkland for a bit, but I can't sense him anymore. And I feel like if I clear my thoughts a bit, I just want to say thanks for what he did. And I'm thinking maybe elevating my spiritual self might help. Well, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm basically clearing my thoughts.
I'm trying to focus on the movements in my breathing instead of focusing on any anxiety or fears. And through that, it brings me- it lets light in as the light rises. If you want, you can join me in my routine in the morning. Alright, yeah. Yeah. See you in the morning. Alright. Just working out all the time, these guys. Never break. Meanwhile, you guys watch for attacks. Yeah. Were they having that conversation just like around stuff? Like around a campfire or something. Yeah. Astar would be interested in joining too, actually, if it's open to other people as well.
Yeah, anybody who wants to join me. And I will also teach you how to be aware of your surroundings as we're doing this. It's also about being present and about being aware of your body and where you're at and clearing your thoughts. So, yeah, I'll teach you. Hey man, I gotta bring real world stuff into this? Cool. I just wanted to say, the next morning when that happens, the morning prayer, Donovan shows up bare chest. Oh god. Okay. That's how I pray. And then he does yoga. Did he oil up first? Oh no, no. That's gauche. That's for afterwards. So the next morning in the Divide, four people are doing yoga.
That's what I'm saying. You guys do this here? Like this is just... I'm really looking to find my center in one of the most dangerous places on Alara. Oh, Mattie has to do it for spells, right? She's gotta. I mean, yeah. It's called adrenaline junkie. I'm afraid. It's called finding peace before you're cut to pieces. Oh my guys. I hope you guys aren't cut to pieces. Okay, so there's... I have one thing I'm scared to do because it involves rolling. But because Masoka has developed this connection to a monitor, and he probably feels he shouldn't use it in a selfish way.
But he really wants to know if a monitor can answer a question for him about who his parents are for real. Okay. Here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna ask you to roll. And if you roll well, so help me, James. I'm scared. They can't all be good. Okay. Do me a favor. Give me a religion check. Okay, so this is... Love your fish. I don't mind. Here's the thing. I don't mind if you roll well. Just consecutively over and over again. I was starting to just like... man. Starting to wonder. I would say this is more... Again, I don't know how Masoka would feel about this, but this is more just kind of Masoka alone with his thoughts.
So no outer voice from within talking to him. Just kind of... You hear the woods. A lot of chirping and crickets and stuff like that. Wood sounds. It is the 27th. Oh, that's it. Okay, I thought that was building up to something. I mean, in a sense. I mean, you know. Here's the thing. You can't talk to God every time. He's away from his desk sometimes. Yeah, he's busy, too. In his mind, he's probably just confirming. He's like, "Masoka, you're stupid. Don't ask about yourself. You selfish piece of shit." Awwww! Matty feels it and just goes over and hugs him. Awwww.
Aww. Okay. You are one third of the way through the divide. I think we need another person to give a flat d20. You know what, actually? Kels. Awwww. What? You know what? Come on. You've got this. You say that every time. I'm rooting for you. That's why. But if you roll badly, it means Susan can use fireball. So it's a win-win. She's been barging that for like three days. In the woods. Yeah. Wow! 18. I'll take it. Oh, beautiful. Okay. Okay. So you guys are in the thick of it now. So, wow. Okay. 28th. 28th is gonna hit. We got a few things going on. Do we see a black dragon fly over here?
Well, okay. I... hmm. This would be... You know what? Everybody give me a little perception check. Uh oh. Oh. This would have to be... you'd have to be very... I rolled so badly that my bonus is not... [laughter] Please! Wow. With. Ubo's got his mind on the woods. Yeah, Ubo's thinking about a lot of stuff right now. He's not on it. I was with that kid. [laughter] Uh, Masoka's gonna... It's very faint. Very faint. But... [sigh] There are very few sounds in the world as distinctive as a dragon roar. And it's one of those sounds, if you've ever heard it in... I was gonna say in real life, but that makes it sound like I'm insane.
If you've ever... [laughter] If you're walking around in Theria and you hear that, it's an experience. It's not just, "Oh yeah, I heard one of those." You feel it. Like it's something that... It's like, "No, you have to be there to fully get it." And it is unmistakable. And Masoka's just barely... Just barely gonna hear that. Kind of echoing over the trees. Okay, so... I guess they're riding along in the carriage? Mm-hmm. Okay, so his half-elf ears will prick up a bit. And he'll kind of look up into the sky. And just go... [shushing] Did you guys hear that?
No. And being close to his book, he should probably think they've been reading anyway, but that's why he got a seven. What? Well, back in Brightport, there was a dragon that lived in the city, if you can believe that. And I know distinctly what a dragon sounds like. And I just heard a dragon. Like, near, or...? Close. Close enough. Maddie's gonna immediately look to the sky. As soon as he says dragon. Yeah, yeah. Same. Maybe even stand up on the cart to see if she could be higher up? I don't know. You're not gonna hear anything after that initial... And again, it's just, it's so faint that it's like, "Did I really hear that?" But it's gone.
I don't see anything, Misoka. Maybe... Maybe it's over the mountains, or... Or maybe you're just hearing things lately? [chuckles] Yes, but no. Uh... Maybe it's gone. Well, just, uh... Just keep your eyes out. Alright. Hey, Amphan. Yes? Roll an arcana check. Ooh. [gasps] Ooh? Ahem. Amphan's gonna feel something. It's after he closes the book, and after the dragon roar and everyone's talking, while they're talking, Emmett's gonna get this tingle. Just, like, right in the back of his head, like, "Whoa." Do I sense a direction? Oh, sorry. Oh, yes, yes, yes. South. Into the pyre forest.
There's something. It's faint. But you're catching a glimmer of something. Some sort of... Some sort of magical power. Like, it's... "Special" is the word I'd put it. It's not your... Ordinary... Run-of-the-mill spell. How would I compare that to what I felt for the gate? [sighs] Okay. You know, when you eat out, you know when you're eating fine food. Now, that being said, it could be steak, it could be lobster, it could be something, but you're eating at a four or five star place, you know that it's prepared with love, it's good food. That being said, lobster, steak, all that stuff, it's a completely different taste.
This is something I would put along the same lines. Like, it's a special kind of magic. It's different from the gate, but definitely special. I will, as Masoko was talking, I might even look like, where I almost stop paying attention, you can see that zone out, and I turn, and I just focus over there. Because... To the south... There's something... Powerful. Like... I can feel it. Like a good powerful, or a bad powerful? I so badly want to say like a steak. Like a whispering dragon powerful? It's unique. Do I feel it overwhelming me, or do I feel it just like a constant bead of something in that direction?
No, no, no. Nothing... Man, I have to bring this back into food. It's like when you smell something delicious, I'm hungry. When you smell something delicious, it's not like... It's not a cartoon, you know, waft that like, tantalizes you over to it, but it's like, wow, okay. You're definitely aware of it. It's definitely... And I can say I've probably never felt this before. Like, I know there's like multiple different types, but this one I'm not familiar with, and it's unique. Oh, yeah. Okay. Do you feel anxious about it? Do you feel good about it? I mean, I feel good about all magic.
That's... That's not anything. I just... I feel... It's interesting. It's... I have to check it out later, or at least understand, but I know we have a mission. And we don't want to stay here for too long, as I also like snap back in and realize where we are. You think it's far? Oops. Yeah, like how far away is it? By the Pyre Forest? Is the... Yeah, south to the Pyre Forest. Nah, I'm down with checking it out. For you to be able to sense it, I can't imagine it being too far. And basically, Maddie's trying to convince herself to, like... Yeah, come on, guys. Let's go do something exciting, other than walking through more woods again for hours and hours.
Let's go see what it is. I mean, we'll be careful and stuff, but... And then stay in between us, all of us. Maybe get some enchanted armor. Well, you won't have to do much to convince me to go, but I was going to say, if you were going to make me stay here while you guys went off, I was going to go crazy. So just stay in the middle. We'll surround you and Mazoka and... Make a circle, make a circle. Mazoka's going to put his hood up so his eyes glow red. I don't need protection now. I am what the city needs. Even Ubo will pipe up at this point and say, "We should go look.
If you were dead, we would not even know. But you're alive. Here." So we should look. That's sound logic. That is thanks to you, Ubo. Oh, when you say that, Ubo just like... Man, he can't walk off ahead and lead the way, so he just looks away. Wow, just leave Clarissa completely on about all of it. Well, Clarissa doesn't need anything right here right now. It's Ubo. I mean, I'm just saying there's a detractor in the party. It might do it, but remember. Let's not start dividing the group before we potentially get to your height. Let's not divide the people in the divide.
It's the Forests trying to do this to us. He's going to hear a voice. I'm going to go fuck down from the card. Okay, if you're all on board for this, let's go. Let's just be back before sundown in case it's really, really far. I look up to the sky. What time is it? I would say it's probably right around like 3.30, 4 o'clock, somewhere in there. So let's see. A couple days from now, it's the first day of summer, so you're looking at like a 7, 7.30 sunset. Okay. All right. Shall we see what this is? I'm down. Yeah. So here's what we're going to do. You guys are leaving the cart, correct?
I mean, can we hide it? Yeah. Like this edge of the forest? Like the side of the road with an alchemist flask? Oh, God. There are living horses, guys. The only one that we had blew up. I know. We have a biohazard sign we can stick on the side. We can like drag it into the tree line a bit. I mean, yeah, like it's still got living animals attached to it. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. There's still horses. We're thinking of it. There's still horses. Like they're not trying to hide, but yeah. Yeah, we haven't been pulling this cart by hand. Dude, it's the Flintstones mobile.
I said Donovan's driving the cart. That's what those workouts are for. So here's what we're going to do. Let's have some fun with this. Amven. Yes. I want you to die. No. I want you to roll a d6. Now, here are the rules for this. For every one you roll, one out of six, that will add a quarter mile to your destination. So you're looking for a low roll on this one. Oh, okay. So my jam. Okay. It's a d6 and you roll a one. Ah! So you're looking at about a mile and a half. So it's not ridiculous, but you know, a mile and a half through the thick forest. So, okay. This is interesting.
So who's your scout? Who's your nature buddy? I would just like to point out that Ubo just got a feat where he could travel through difficult terrain with no problem. He can. Yeah. I don't know that I can get on his shoulders. Yeah, but he'll probably be leading the way. Like him and Astor are probably the most experienced with the foresty stuff. My nature is plus, oh yeah, it's based on in this edition. Oh wait, but survival. Survival. Yeah. We don't talk about nature. That's what we're talking about. That's what the book wanted people. Yeah. So Ubo's survival is plus seven.
What do you have Astor? Plus five. Okay. So I'm probably like leading the way with like, I guess Ambin's kind of telling me where he's feeling it from and I'm like picking the path. Right. The way I would put it is the difference between survival and nature is essentially you know what not to step on, but you're not exactly sure the scientific reason why not to step on it. You just don't step on it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Give me a sur- Oh no. Can I assist? Can I- You know what? Here's the thing. I would say- You know what? There's twenty something. You know what?
There's twenty sides on that die, right? Yeah. Like some of the Ubo ones are bound to come up once in a while. I would say, would you agree with me, Rob, that Ubo has seemed a little distracted in the journey since Aubrey? Yeah. He's not entirely with it. He's kind of going through the adventuring motions as it were right now, right? Like he's like- Okay. Gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other. Okay. So Buffy season seven. So this role is actually like the dice role playing for Ubo, right? I like it. It's helping me out. And Aster, I would imagine after a few days of this, Aster would kind of pick up on this.
Oh yeah. Yeah. They're like- So I would say that survival check would have advantage. So Ubo, do me a favor. Okay. The advantage is from Aster helping out? Yep. Okay. Cool. Power of friendship. So just throw it again, I guess. Just throw it again. Okay. And survival. There we go. Okay. So in my defense, I'm used to trees that are a lot bigger. That's fair. No one can save our terrible journey. We're on the highway to hell. This is- Wow. Okay. So I'm gonna give you at home, I rolled a two plus seven first, and then Jason's like, "Oh, have advantage." And then I rolled a one plus seven.
Well, at least we don't have Critmas. Yeah. We're not taking the one if that makes you feel any better. Yeah. But nines only slightly below average. Ubo can only do so badly. Okay. So essentially we're walking through poison ivy the whole way. I would say- Yeah. Okay. Let's see, a mile and a half through the thick woods should probably take you a little over an hour, right? I would say that because of that nine, there might be a dead end or two, or there might be some brambles in the way where it's like, "Oh, crap. Let's double back that way." So I would say it would cost you about two hours to get to this thing.
Does that sound fair? Yeah. That's fair. I'll take that. All right. As long as we can roll again for the way back. Oh, yeah. I mean, you guys are on fire. Let's do it. Don't worry. Soon we will literally be on fire. You know, it's funny you should say that. I'm kidding. So, Amven, this feeling is going to get stronger. As you're walking and I would imagine you're stepping over branches and you're like, "Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah." You're feeling it. This is just going to be red hot after a while. And there's a really thick series of trees here. They're kind of butting up against each other almost where they're almost bent.
And it's an odd formation, to be honest, where there's a lot of undergrowth and it's almost like a nest of tree branches and stuff. But Amven, do me a favor. Give me a perception check. Sure. I'm so good at these. Oh, wow. Yeah, you are. Heck yeah. When it comes to magic. I am locked. Yeah, you are. Yeah, wow. You are. That's a crit. That's how you do it. You sarcastically roll dice. Roll dice with an eye roll. That's the... So Amven's going to be the first to spot this. And you have to really pry some of these branches back, but you're going to catch the tip of this.
And let's see. Let me see if I can describe this to you. There is a box that I would say, eyeballing it would be about nine and a half to 10 feet tall. That is leaning back against a tree vertically. This looks remarkably like a coffin. And I think that's a good time for us to stop. Oh, my God. Come on. Oh, boy. Well, we got it in the box. You guys, we found Vincent. We recruited the secret party member. We're going to have to open it, right? Like, we're not... I mean, that's up to you. You got time to think about it. Yeah. We're all going to get like 50 feet away and then we're going to like throw something at it to make sure it doesn't explode.
Maybe I'll open it with my hands. A long branch. Fireball. I got a shovel. I have a crowbar. Oh, there you go. Hopefully it's like really cool magic armor and not like a lich or something. Who puts a lich in the middle of a forest? The Jason forest. Wow. I'm not even going to address you like you're here. Yeah, that's the most hurtful. Who puts a carriage full of fire in the middle of a forest? Wizards. Who's dumb enough to go find those things? Wizards. Oh, boy. We're boned. No, no, no, no. There's six of us. One coffin. You guys are immediately leaping. You guys are immediately guessing that this is a bad thing.
You didn't say it looked like an Amazon crate. You said it looked like a coffin. Yeah, it's got a little blue prime tape on it and everything. There's no eBay tape on this thing. Oh, boy. Tonight was awesome. Yeah, it was fun. Good fun. I got to crash down. I could hear it in you, man. Yeah, so, okay. Everyone, please go get some rest and enjoy your weekend. Thank you so much for doing this with me. Take care. Bye, guys. Bye. One more time. Thank you guys so much for all of your support throughout the Kickstarter. We have partnered up with BackerKit, so you will be able to purchase books and things like that.
In the very short term, we're going to be linking that to the Kickstarter page. So if you missed out, if money was tight, it's completely understandable. But if at some point in the next few months you want to check that out, there will be a link on our website and you'll be able to find that easily. In the meantime, everybody who did Backit, again, we'll be giving you guys really up-to-the-moment updates with everything that we're doing with the book. We have a good majority of it written so far. It's just going to take a while to get things like artwork and all that done and then layout.
So thank you guys so much. We'll see you next week with a huge extended rest to cover everything that happened in Theoryathon and this Group A. See you guys next week. Bye.