Strain

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(CLINKING) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

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You guys are the folks who keep our lights on and help us do our thing and we can't thank you enough. Previously for Group A. After traveling to Donhurst and speaking with the Countess herself, the group was given a message to deliver the people of Donhurst. But they were welcome to return to the city as long as 5% of the population would deliver themselves to the Countess, presumably as a food supply. After leaving the castle and traveling back down to the main road, a strange man stumbled out of the bushes declaring that he was being chased by someone.

And that's where we pick things up today. (BONK) Let's do that thing where we go around the table to introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table starting with Rob. Hey, I'm Rob, I play Ubo, the half-orc druid of the mountain. And Kelsey. I'm Kelsey and I play Aster, the elven archer. And Xavier. I'm Xavier and I play Donovan, the human fighter. And Susan. Hey, I'm Susan and I play Madeline, Ryoin, the human cleric. I forgot. (LAUGHTER) It's been a little bit. And James. Hey, it's James, I play Masoka, the half-elf rogue. And Michael.

Hey, I'm Michael and I play Amvin, the half-elf wizard. Okay, so before we get started today, we got into a bit of an ethical dilemma before the show started. Now, I wanted to save it for the beginning because we wrapped up with you guys caring, well, at least in the short term for a small vampire child. And Clifford, I let the group know, is 12 years old, recently turned. And that... I... James said that that makes things better. Could you elaborate? No, because whatever I say, you'll do the opposite. Wow, that is so distrusting. We've known each other for years.

That's so hurtful. It's true, but very hurtful. I think at this point, at least, we can talk to Clifford at the level of a child. Okay. And depending on how corrupted he has become by the Countess, or not, I don't know, he seemed kind of hurt that she let him go. But perhaps it will be easier for us to integrate him into Aubrey with the other vampires. Maybe. How does everyone else feel about that? Okay, alright. New comments. Now we all don't want to talk over each other. I haven't quite determined our endgame yet, and maybe that's roughly around like... Like, there's just so many things that we need to talk about that, like, what is our next move?

What do we do with this kid? Like, just all these things of like, well, is he a kid? Should we treat him as a kid? Does he still... You know, it's that whole like... There's a lot of dilemmas that we need to talk through. That's fair. Yeah. Ubo knows what we should do. Like, Ubo's wrong. Well, the good news for y'all is Ubo's feeling skittish about things because going maverick hasn't worked well in the recent history, so... Well, you know... Gotta get back on that horse. Gotta get back on that horse by running a stake through that child. Not necessarily with that, but like, maybe something else.

Maybe start with like... I don't know, hunting or something. Yeah, yeah. Practice for when you're gonna stab the kid. We'll throw a poll up on our Twitter. Just to show more contempt. Couple warm-up stabs. I guess Donovan feels like he's kind of... At least for the time being, kind of his responsibility. Because he's the one who told the countess, "Hey, give us your child!" And like, Masoka thinks Donovan did it for him, but it kind of just like happened that way. So he doesn't want to like upset Masoka either. So he's kind of like... And he feels for the kid.

Especially now that he knows he's not like 100 years old. He's like, "Oh, he's just a kid." I guess he just kind of wants to at least help him get to Aubrey or something. Right. Well, we'll see if you get the chance. Because right now, there's a new situation for you guys to deal with. A pale human man with a very stylish, dreadlocked head has run out of the woods and is groveling at your feet. Just desperate and covered in... Well, some of it's mud. There's a potent stench coming off of this man. And I would say he is at leg level, like thigh level. Just gripping, just holding, hugging.

Just like, "You gotta help me! They're coming! They're coming!" And he's putting that all over Matty. I think that, yeah, canonically, I think we said Matty. Yep. Yeah, so like, what's... So, is Matty wearing like chain or plate? It's been so long, guys. So like, what's... Okay, what's Matty's thigh situation? Is it like, what's he smearing his... his... Trenty goodness all over? Oh! Why? Well, why? It's very visible because she's wearing scale, but she has that white tabard over it. Oh, no. Remember when it was covered in blood, you know? Well, now it's covered in feces.

Yep, fun times. Oh, so now it's official. It is feces. Well, he crawled through the sewer to get out of the city. Mm-mm. So... Prestidigitation. After. They'll get him off me first. I think that's the most useful spell anyone's gotten any mileage out of on this show. Mm-hmm. As far as non-combat cantrips go... Oh, yeah. You can't beat it. Just at a glance, is he... Because I know meta-wise, like, I know he's from the Fang, but does he wear the same red thing, red pauldron that they all wear? Um, he is... Yes, but it's very disheveled. Like, he is very... He is clearly some sort of ne'er-do-well or bandit.

Like, he's got the rough-looking leathers, and you can tell, like, he's probably put a good amount of effort and time into looking tough. Like, he's definitely traveling with that crew. Or used to. But he is afraid of something. Yeah, can I try and see if I can, like, see any signs or hear anything from, like, what he's running from? Absolutely! That seems like a priority. Yeah, give me... Give me a perception check. Let's ask to see. Let's see. Holy shit! Good! Okay, so, as first rolls for the night go, 25 is pretty good. Let's roll with that. So, while this is going on, Astor's scanning the surrounding forest and stuff like that, because you guys are heading back into the Divide, proper.

And that's... Even though you breezed through the first time, people are still upset about that, but you guys breezed through the first time, you know it has a reputation for not being so hot. So, anything could be in these woods. And Astor's going to hear in the distance, what sounds like it could be several people, but it sounds like people. It doesn't sound like, you know, some some ogre or orc coming out of it. These sound like people because you can hear two of them. It's like, "He went this way!" Like, they're tracking Trent. Or this man, let's say.

Okay, yeah, so Astor's just like still like staring in the distance and then just... Whoever he is, he was followed. We need to figure out what we're doing fast. Yeah. Yeah, Donovan goes like, "Right, right." And he'll grab Trent by the shoulders, like as he's still like tugging on Maddie. You just like lift him up and looks at the group and goes like, "Let's go." And he'll just like bring Trent along and starts running. Or jogging. Well, guess we're taking him with us. Ubo rolls his eyes. So I'm guessing everyone's following suit. Yeah, I guess in the interest of hiding from whoever's coming.

Yeah. Right. And let's paint a picture here. It is evening. It's the 28th of Faerieor. And you guys have already kind of had a long evening. Like, you got enough on your plate. You got this kid now. Your parents. So everybody do me a favor. Okay, wait, are you hiding or are you just running? Getting off the beaten path. Oh, I don't like that one. I guess we're running. Wow, that was... You shouldn't react like that. Oh, okay. You know what? Let me... I mean, this is the cool thing about having artwork done for the book. Everyone, welcome back to the Divide. Let's...

Oh, great. So no, not going off the beaten path. Does it say that on the dead body? Like, welcome to the Divide. Would you like to approach the Divide? Is there actually the dead body hanging there? This is more for ambiance. This is what's going to appear in the book. But there are plenty of dead bodies in the Divide. Don't worry. You'll come across some. You already came across one. Yeah, yeah. So you're picking... So you just grab Trent. It's like, come on. And you guys are taken off down the path. Everyone do me a favor. Give me an athletics check just to see how well this...

Because, okay, you're basically moving as fast as your slowest member. Oh, crap. Oh, you had to pay for that good roll. Yeah, I did. Can I carry the slowest member? Oh, that would just make sense. You have a minus two. And then... I never got to the top of that rope in gym class, did you? Oh, no. It's too busy studying. It serves no purpose. So... You're sure we're not as fast as the fastest member? Well, okay. If you want to play it that way, then some of you are very fast. Donovan took off. 26. Boom. Gone. Sadly, Aster and Amven rolled a four. And I'm still waiting.

Okay. Yeah. So... Aster just like immediately eats shit. Let's go, guys. I was thinking that she was just trying to play it as if, "Oh, I'm with Amven." Just trying to act like she's slow. Because she looks like she's got a plus three proficient, so she's just like, "Yeah, let's just keep going." I think they just bumped into Amven. They got Amven's four. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Misoka, Donovan, and Ubo are... fit. Yeah, my Fantasy Grounds mega-crashed, which is why I rolled so late. You're fine, dude. Trust me, it doesn't matter. So... Your roll doesn't matter. I like that headcanon of like, Aster is just watching him.

It's back. I mean, that's what we were playing off as it leaked. Yeah, they didn't fall flat on their face or anything. It's fine. We can't just leave him behind. He's so squishy. What if those of us with the high athletics checks are willing to leave the other people behind? Yeah! I got a Trent now. I got a Trent now. Oh yeah, I didn't even get to roll for Trent and Clifford. Let's just see what about Clifford. Is he with us? He has tiny little legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I did say I was with Trent now, but in general I think Donovan would stick with Clifford, and in situations like this, if he wasn't holding Trent, he'd probably let me.

He'd be picking up a little bit or something. Yeah, I think he's sticking by. He's got, one, he's got nowhere to go. And two, you guys have been pretty nice so far. He's still getting to know you, obviously. Trying to figure out what you're all about, but you can't be worse than the Countess. Well, he hasn't noticed. Well, we'll see. So you guys are going to start down the- The benefits package isn't great. Oops, I- I don't know, you got resurrected. Yeah, that's true. That's better than my health care. I was waiting for my bill in the mail, though. Oh, you won't be getting that bill.

Aww. So, you guys are going to take off, and I don't know, Amvin trips on his robes or does something, but he rolled a four. And I picture- Amvin trips on Amvin. I picture Aster right next to him, it's like, "Hey, yeah, let's go, let's go." Like, that type of thing. I'd love it if I was in my book and I was walking and everyone was like, "Let's go!" and I was like, "What?" And then run right into Aster. Dude, that's going to get you so murdered one day. I know, I'm so dead soon, again. That's the texting and driving of the adventuring world. So, you're going to hear voices behind you.

They're probably, I don't know, 150, 200 feet behind you. They're going to call out like, "Hey! Hey!" Do you stop? No, but I'll ask Trent. Alright, who's following us? You know what, let's see how athletically gifted Trent is. Oh, no. Let's see how. I don't like where this is going. He gets advantage. Oh, no! No, he needs advantage because he's been running from them. I've hit one! I'm forcefully helping him out. Can you help him at that point? He got a two! Maybe he's exhausted. You're suddenly surrounded. You're not the same piece of life you've been. [laughter] He's exhausted, let's say.

He's just been running for so long, and he's out of breath. He's like, "They're in the city! They're coming! Fang!" You are going to hear some very persistent, angry individuals calling from behind. "Hey! We know you have him!" He's going to look at Trent and say, "Why don't you try to give me your best smile?" "Huh? Can you do that for me?" "Show me your chompers." [laughter] He's going to give you this weird, grimacy smile through gritted teeth as he's trying to gasp for air. Apparently, he also skipped gym class. He's just not as smart as Emphyn. He has that to show off.

He's going to pull the dreadlocks out of his hair because they are just caked in grime and grossness. He's going to like, "Ehh, ehh," as he's running. They're just regular teeth. You know what? Let's roll for Trent's teeth. What kind of teeth are Trent? On a scale of-- You're not helping him out. Let's say, on a scale of-- If he could be five and if I don't have teeth, what happens? I don't know. On a scale of one to ten, ten being movie star good looks and perfect dental history, one being retired hockey player. Let's see what--he's got an eight! So, you know what?

Trent, for being a bandit adventurer type person on the road, pretty good chompers. That's a good dental vision plan. Yeah! Someone gives him a milk bone every once in a while, so his teeth--no tartar buildup. Very nice. I want to join the Fang now. It's the medical that gets you on this one. It's not just an ironic nickname. Dental plan! At least it needs braces! Thank you. No problem. So, yeah, they're just regular teeth, no fangs, no nothing like that. And again, he's like... And you're gonna hear footprints. Footprints? You're gonna hear footprints? Yup! You're gonna hear footprints.

No, you're going to hear footsteps behind you that gradually pick up pace and then it's just a full bore sprint. Can we see how many of them there are? Uh, you know what? Give me a perception with disadvantage. Coming right up. Yeah, you're trying to take in his teeth, you're looking around, you're looking--yeah, so--oh, 17! Shit, yeah. There are four individuals behind you. Oh. Let me just turn and stand our ground. Ubo looks at Trent and says, "How much trouble are you worth?" He looks pretty gross. Okay, does Aster say that? Oh yeah, no, absolutely. Ubo nods in agreement.

Are you still running for the whole argument? Or, you know, quote-unquote "running." At this point, not really. Not with all three of them. We kind of, like, yeah, we're not getting away at this point. With the below five group? Yeah, no, I feel like you guys did the white guy jog through an intersection. Like, you're--you know what, you're feigning it. It's like, "Oh, yeah." You bring the cardio up. Yeah. I'll let Trent respond to Ubo. He's so out of breath. I'm not gross! I just saw your teeth. There's--yeah, you're gross all over. I mean, great teeth, but there was some sewer in there.

He is--okay, now he's going to get a little self-conscious. And he's going to grab--he's going to debate this with you as he's being pursued-- Hey! And he's going to grab several locks of his hair and he's going to start to wring it out and just a few drops of brownish, festering liquid is going to be wrung out of his hands and then he's going to go "huh" and shake them off. Look, I barely managed to escape with my life, man. This isn't how I usually look. I don't know about you guys, but I think it's a good tactic. If I was a vampire, I wouldn't want to bite that shit.

Yeah, like, why--do you know something? Why do they even want you? And he's going to motion back to them and as he's doing this, he's going to slip behind the group. Fucking vampires, man! I didn't sign up for that! That's fair. Yeah, Donovan looks at Ubo and goes "Ubo, my friend, you look rusty. How about we stop them right there?" Uh... rusty? Well, I mean, it's been a while since we fought something. Oh! Oh! Ensy? Ensy, maybe? Yeah, okay, okay. Yeah, it was an insult. It was a language barrier. I would love if Ubo took that as, like, language barrier and still-- Like, literal!

Fuck you. He's like "My metal of mining isn't rusty." "I don't oxidize in the rain!" "Just because I am one with the mountain does not mean I am made of metal." Ubo... man... They're vampires? Yeah, alright, let's do it. Um... What? Ubo is philosophically consistent, alright? Just because you're not letting him kill the child vampire does not mean he does not have it out for vampires, period. Well... okay. Alright. Ubo's gonna turn around and he is going to cast Spike Growth in the path between us and them. And the cool part about that is that they have to make a Perception check against my spell save DC to even notice that, like, the natural... the natural spikes that grow up are gonna, like, cut them up.

Like, they just-- if they fail that Perception check, they perceive it as just, like, a natural growth in the path and perhaps might blunder into it. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. So... Matty has an action lined up too. I just want to say that. Before... before we start combat. Like, roll initiative. But after he's passed his spell. Okay. Spell is the ground in a 20-foot radius. How wide is the path? Um, I would say... it's wide enough for two carts to-- so, like, probably... I don't know, 35, 40 feet. Perfect! A 20-foot radius is 40 feet, so it covers the whole path. Beautiful.

The ground in a 20-foot radius centered on a point within the range twists and sprouts hard spikes and thorns. The area becomes difficult terrain for the duration. When a creature moves into or within the area, it takes 2d4 piercing damage for every 5 feet it travels. The transformation of the ground is camouflaged to look natural. Any creature that can't see the area-- oh. Any creature that can't see the area at the time the spell is cast, so can they all-- are they all close enough to see it at the time I cast it? I mean, they're behind you. I would say...

I-- okay. Here's the thing. I would say yes, but it's a nice little barrier. Is it nighttime? Yes. You know what? Here's the thing. I'm gonna have him roll. Okay. I'm gonna roll. Alright. So there's gonna be a perception check to see it, and if not, then a perception check to-- I don't know. We'll see how you do it. [laughter] The point is, I don't make any die rolls. It's just there now, and they make rolls defensively to see how it goes for them. Ah, that's low. That's low. It's a 7. That's a low roll they made. Yes. So, there is a tiefling gentleman. A gentleman, I use the term loosely. [laughter] Hey!

Well-- I played one of those. Not because he's tiefling. It's because they're-- he's in the fang. Like, none of them are really like, "Oh, man." Like, did you see what Ripley looked like? That was their leader. He was the charismatic one. They all followed. God. Mercy. Anywho. Um, uh, uh, my spell save DC is 15. Uh, yeah. Well, that's gonna fail. Yeah. So, this guy is gonna run headlong into this and just, like, hold up his hands as he gets in there. It's like, "Ugh." And the rest of these fang members are gonna stop. So, it's him and three more. He is clearly leading this group.

And how much damage is that gonna be? How much that? Uh, four damage. So, this is enough to, one, slow him down. Two, like, just get him to reassess for a minute. It's like, "Ugh." And everyone's gonna stop behind him. Okay. Okay. Let's talk this out. Do-- do you know who that gentleman is? That's with you guys. Absolutely not. Okay. He's with us. And we're currently trying to settle a bit of a dispute and talk about his future. If you could hand him over, that would be so very helpful. Well, why don't we ask our friend over here if he wants to go with you? Um...

So, the dreadlocked gentleman. As soon as you say that, he's gonna be shaking his head violently. When he does that, he's gonna spatter you guys with little bits of, like, little flecks of things from his hair. Don't make me throw you over at the other side. He's like a really old dog. So, like, what kind of future are we talking about here? 'Cause if you're gonna, like, shave him or something, I completely understand. That's about where I'm thinking right now. Oh, we'll-- we'll definitely clean him up before we-- before we do anything. If you'd be so kind as to take this, um... brush away, I think we could, uh... keep this nice and calm.

There's no need for violence, is what I'm saying. I think he just said he didn't want to go with you. Am I the only one who saw that? No, I agree with you. I don't think he wants to. I mean, hey, we need something to feed a... little guy, right? Oh, well, well, well, well... What the fuck? Even Ubo gets, like, a really, like, grumpy brow at you. Just grinning. Nobody's eating anyone. And I wouldn't want to put my mouth on him. Just saying. I hope not. Well, he's covered in fecal matter. Let's not make the kid do it. Even if he wasn't. Ubo walks up to the edge of his spike growth field, and he looks at whoever appears to be the leader of this group, and just says, "Show me your teeth." This tiefling gentleman is going to give a smile.

And instantly you're going to see fangs. Okay. Like, like, vampire... like, clearly vampire fangs. Clearly vampire fangs. Yeah. He's going to hold his hand up. Just for a second. Listen, friend, I really, really feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Now, I got no beef with you. Trust me. I understand the life of an adventurer, and you got a lot of hardship. This... this is an easy decision. He belongs to us. He's part of the crew. There's a code. And... he violated it by running. Well, yeah, of course he got no beef. He can't eat solids anymore, right? That's how that works.

Zing! I got it. I got it. He's going to hold out his hand like he wants to shake. Across 40 foot of spikes? It's more symbolic. It's more like, "Come on, take this down." Ubo... kind of... he, like, looks back at Trent for a moment. "I don't like him." And then he turns and faces them again. "But I hate... Vampires!" And lightning bolt. Oh, no! And so it is. Oh, no. Well, that's not good. Yeah. That's me. Yeah, well, Ubo has a position. Do I have a chance to, like, crouch down and speak to Clifford? Within that, or no? Yeah, in the midst of all that, I guess. Yeah, okay.

Let's do it. What do you want to say to Clifford? Look, I don't know how you're feeling about all this, but... Don't worry. Nobody's here to kill you. I don't know how you feel about us killing these vampires, but as you can see, they're a little aggressive. And on that spectrum, I don't think they fall into the good side. Um... do you have any thoughts on that? I like the implications, like, "Oh, they're not here to kill you, but someone's getting killed." Like, it's fair. What else, kid? There's probably just a little bit of, like, "I'm just gonna hide behind you." Okay, I want you to know, above all else right now, I have your back, okay?

We're a team. Don't worry about the big guy. No, he definitely does not like you. Don't worry about the big guy. As a cascade of lightning leaps from the most dangerous. Oh boy, well, I guess I need a map. Sorry, fam. It's been a long time coming, and Ubo needs catharsis. Hey, dude, you're fine. This is great. That's why they make battle maps. I just don't want the kid to run away. I mean, who knows? I don't think so, but, like, I don't know. I can't see the future. I think you have a pretty good idea of what could happen. Into a bat, into a cloud of gas. That's stereotypes, man.

I'm sorry. I'm old school. Alright, so here's how I see things. So, we're gonna set you guys up over on this side of the road. We got Ubo out in front for the purposes of this. I'm not gonna put Trent or Clifford on the map just yet. There you go. That makes sense. Let's do it. Oh my gosh, they're standing just like that? Was I good, Jason? Was I kind to you at some point? I mean, sometime in the last seven years, yeah, totally. Ouch. No, I'm kidding. Woof. I gave you inspiration too, so you know what? Just hit the shit out of them. Alright, alright. Are you gonna be mad if we kill this named vampire?

I mean, if that's what happens? Aww, I don't want to kill another one of your favorite named vampires. No, you're fine. You should have brought more goons with him. You're fine. It's when they die and you just, like, it's like a bug bomb went off and you killed them. Is that the character Bree was really excited about? Oh, I don't know. Bree, we don't know what's gonna happen. We can't see the future. So, okay, I've got my two targets and then supposedly if I click the thing... Geez, alright, hold on. I guess, what is this, Dex Save? I think I can click a thing and it'll all just happen.

It should automatically do it, yes. Yeah, yeah, so if I click like so... Oh, well... So... Oh, they have good stats. They're not bad. So, yeah, the vampire in the front is going to succeed and vampire spawn number three is going to fail. Okay, still half damage on a successful save for that guy. Alright, I'll click it. G'doof. Wait, no, that was the attack again. Oh, sorry. That one. Oh, Jesus God. Many dice are involved. Wait, hold on a second. Ah, dammit. Okay, so it went by... Oh, and then I... Yeah, sorry, sorry. That's okay. So I need to switch that. So heal him for 16.

Give the other one 16 more. Yes. 32 damage lightning bolt. Feels good. Whoo, baby. Okay. Everyone do me a favor. Roll initiative. And my spike growth is still there because I haven't lost concentration. Yeah, yeah, let's... Is there a way to put that on the map? There sure is. That's 35, but you get it. Here, I'll give you back one. Yeah, step back one. There we go. Good, good, good, good. Alright. I appreciate being able to take up most of this battle map with me. Okay. I only have one screen now, so this battle map's kind of a problem. Oh, no. I'm so sexy at one time.

So what does this do? If you step into it, you take 2d4 piercing damage for every square you travel. So don't step into it. Does it obscure vision? No, it's on the ground. Okay, cool. I love that next question. Does it obscure vision? When they start going around it, we should just rotate around the same way. Yes, yes, yes. I've never seen that there before. Alright. Okay. Alright. Let's put this book aside. I don't need that for a little bit. Okay. Let's kick things off with Aster. I wonder what Aster's gonna do. Yes. Okay, guys. So I guess plan of action should be take out the unnamed ones first before focusing on the big one.

That's strategy, right? I like that. Okay, I'm gonna go after the one that we've already hit. I think, wait, what's my range on this? You can probably get there. Yeah, longbows are pretty... You're fine. I think it's 60/120. I could be wrong. Let me Google real quick. I think we got it up. Longbow. I wrote Google in Google. Oh, it's 150/600. You're confused. Oh, okay. So I'm good. You're fine. Jesus. Okay, yeah. Oh, that'll do it. 28. Yeah. You get crits on 19. Oh, that's right. I do because I have my critical thingy. Then you know what you did. Hold on a second. Hold on.

No, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. Hold shift and do it again. Okay. That was the attack. Hey! There we go. Oh boy. Okay. Anything else? No, that's it. Okay. Do they roll on the crit table if it was a crit table? Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, that's right. It doesn't do it automatically because... Yeah, that's not... You know what? Maybe because it's a special thing, right? I don't know if it's part of the math on the table. It's the champion thing. Like, I have the ability right there that says... That's like the improved critical, but... If it's just techs, it might not affect the experience.

Yeah, it is techs, though. Then guess what? We'll just have to do it. So, do me a favor. Give me a flat e20. Fourteen! Oh, since it's not... This is bullshit. I'm confused. Is this your other attack? No. That's for the crit table. Isn't it a d6? The crit table? Oh, to see if she... Yeah, duh. Duh. Sorry. Give me a d6. Sorry, I should be more assertive when I'm... Oh, it's fine. I'm just following directions here. Ah, never mind. Alright. Okay, cool. Okay, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. Good hit, though. Good hit. I mean, I want it to be a beaver. We're lucky you're a beaver.

It's true, man. Careful what you wish for. Okay, okay, okay. So, it's pretty obvious that this big-ass honking thing is in the way now. Yes, yeah. One more thing. I mean, it's pretty... Yeah, so... Did he get his... He got his four damage initially, right? Yes, yes. Definite? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was his going... It was like stepping on a Lego. Yeah, yeah. That's more of a shoo. Shoo. Vampire spawn number three is going to move here and go around the thingy thing. Should he turn into a bat? Yeah, he just double moved. Yeah, yeah. He did not turn into a bat that is racist.

Cloud of gas? Anven! You got a friend. Yeah, and I prefer not to be any closer to these things. So, what I'm going to do... These things? Oh my god. I don't know his gender. I'm being respectful. It's not about gender. You're not respecting his vampiric roots. I don't know his gender. I'm glad you caught that. So I'm going to run over here and as I do I'm going to first run by Donovan and I'm going to tap his shoulder and cast Haste. That would be fun. Remind everybody, including myself, what does Haste do? Choose a willing creature that you can see within range until the spell ends, because it's a concentration spell.

The target's speed is doubled, it gains a bonus of AC of +2, it has advantage on dexterity saving throws, and it gains an additional action on each of its turn. That action can be used only to take the attack, one weapon attack only, dash, disengage, hide, or use an object action. When the spell ends, the target can't move or take actions until after its next turn as a wave of lethargy sweeps over it. Gotcha. So, you're awesome now. You're awesome. Until he loses concentration. Extra attack, move super fast, it's like really good. You're fast, you're strong, but you're not a vampire.

Let's see if this works. There we go. Hey! Got all that sweet, sweet stuff. So, Jesus, Donovan's gonna be pretty much impossible to handle. Come up to there. Donovan's pupils dilate, his heartbeat rises. It's like the heroin injection scene in Requiem for a Dream. Those of you listening out there, if you haven't seen Requiem for a Dream, don't. Yeah, no. It's right up there with Grave of the Fireflies for a pick-me-up. And that's my turn. Okay. Let's see, can I first blow number one? Huh. Boy. Going through that mess is just... Please, please take 16d4 damage walking straight through.

I'm good. Vampire spawn number one's gonna move next to his friend. And that'll bring up Mattie. Can I say something and hold my action? Uh, sure. Okay, cool. Before she does anything, she's gonna turn to Misoka and Clifford. Take Clifford far away from here. Run that way and she's gonna go way up, like, up the path, off the map. Tell him to go that way. To that blank void over there. Yeah. And then she'll hold her action. He will think about it for a second, but he'll turn down to Clifford and be like, "Okay, come on, come on, let's go this way." And, uh, yeah, fell back off down the path.

Well, maybe Clifford will want to fight, we don't know. He won't want to be around when Mattie doesn't change. He's not gonna give him the chilis. And if Clifford happens to bite Misoka, then, uh, he's gonna beat a child to death, so... Oh, no. Holy shit. That took a dark turn. Wow. Just said I just have to point it out. You're a father, James. Not of vampires. Nothing. That's fair. That's fair, I guess. Donovan! Yes, hi. Hi. Alright, so, he'll kind of, like, suddenly take off really fast and stuff right in the face of Vampire Respawn 1. And sort of, like, charge him with his shield and I'll take the extra action for the haste thing to do an attack action to take the shot action.

I guess that's how it works, right? Yeah, so you're barreling with your shield and just boom. Yeah, and so I want to push him back. Push Vampire Respawn back one space. Which one, one or three? One. Okay. So, it'll be my athletics against his athletics or acrobatics, whichever is higher for him. Wow. Well, I mean, don't tell me. Yeah, no, I'm looking. So, 21 for me. Oh, 21! Oh, my goodness gracious. Hold on a second. Uh, I'm not looking. Uh, is there anything in this guy's repertoire that would, uh, help? I recommend the flea action. *laughs* Okay, well, let's see.

He could roll well. He could roll well. I don't know, but, uh, here we go. Oh! He can't! He critted! So that's 27. Alright. He did not want to be pushed. Alright, so that didn't work. Uh, so I'll use my normal action to take the attack action and attack twice. Uh, so I'll try to push him again. *laughs* Uh, so, same thing. Alright. Now, that's 26. 26! Shit! Okay. You could still beat it with a crit. I, if that happens, I'm buying a lottery ticket. Alright, here we go. Oh, that's, that's an 11. That was a stinker. Alright. So he is flung back one space. Uh, doesn't he get knocked from?

Nope. Nope? Oh, okay. He's all good. Then I will turn around to the other guy. And point at him and yell, "Aster! This one!" So you get your sneaky sneak and the +2 for me being adjacent. Oh. Okay, so it's +2 and then... That's it. Yep, just +2 to attack. And then if you hit, then... Yeah, if you hit, you add your sneak and a d8. *grunts* Cool. That'd be great. *gasps* 16 will just hit. *laughs* That was close! Yeah, so it's... Yeah, basically you're reaching into a bag and you're just flicking. But then I add a d8? No, and your sneak attack damage. Yeah. Man. Okay.

So, that's all you get for sneak attack damage? Yeah, because I'm only level 2 rogue, I think. Oh, that's right! I'm a dumb-dumb. I thought that was part of Ranger stuff and I know it's not. Nope. But whatever. Anyway, that's good though! That's good! Yeah. That's extra damage. Boop! There we go. Okay. Is that it for Donovan? Yep, can't do anything else. Well, you know what? Uh... I like that all of his friends get to go first before the... Let's see here. Vampire Spawn #2 is gonna go the southern route. Try and get him some sweet, sweet Amven blood. *laughs* It's like a shot glass.

It's like a shi- Yeah, it's like- *laughs* He's so tender. It's like- Oh man, he's like veal. *laughs* It's like, "it's like veal!" *laughs* Nisoka, are you running? Mm... yeah. Okay. So you're gonna leave combat? With Clifford. With Clifford. Good, good, good. But Trent's staying. Yeah, he doesn't care about Trent. It's fine. Well, Trent smells like shit so he doesn't want to touch him anymore. Aww! And he probably feels that Trent has natural protection right now because, like he said, what vampire would want to bite that shit? *laughs* Alright! We are lea- oh, it just took you- oh, that's weird.

Oh, and this is where Maddie jumps back in as soon as they're a safe distance away. Alright! Okay, cool. So Maddie's gonna take one step forward, and then she's gonna bow her head and hold her amulet of a monitor. Oh no. And she's going to say, "By the light of a monitor, I beseech thee, oh creatures of on death, to flee from this holied area and do turn on dead." But she doesn't know that's destroy on dead. Are they half critical rating or lower? Oh god. She doesn't- she does turn level 5, she doesn't know that it got stronger. Oh, that's- wait, hold on a second.

Welcome to the barbecue. You're allowed to know your own power if you want. Well, I want her- I want her to be surprised. That's good. Okay. It's more dramatic this way. Uh, one of them. One of them's half. Okay, that one explodes. Oh god! So vampire spawn number 3. So, okay, describe this. What does it look like coming off of- coming off of Maddie? Okay, so she's bowing her head, saying this prayer to a monitor, and this light, like, radiates out from her in 30 feet, and Clifford's far enough away that he can't get in this. And it hits them, and the ones that are above half critical rating, they turn on dead, so they want to run away from her.

Okay. And then the one that gets hit is, like, consumed in holy flame. Oh god. Well, that sounds like just a bad way to go. So, vampire number 3 is going to erupt. I imagine, like, not fire, but almost like a fire made of light. You know what I mean? Like, it's a bright white fire. So, just consumes, screams, and just turns to ash, and... None of them will be wide-eyed, because it's happening right in his eyes. And he'll look at the other one, and he'll, like, look down at his monitor tabard, and he'll go like, "I can do that too." Well, they're too busy running away.

Yeah, I would- yeah, I would- So, is that something they do on their turn, I think? Uh, turn on dead... I think it pretty much acts like fear, kind of. Yeah. They have to get away from you, yeah. So. Uh, so that's not great. And they run away for a minute. Did he have to roll a save against them? Ten rounds. Oh, yeah, for turn on dead, they have to do a save. It's a wisdom saving throw. Oh, wait, so that guy didn't necessarily have to explode, or is that just- No, that's if they're half- That's if they're half or lower, they die. Okay, so, wisdom saving throw.

Let's do it. Okay. Ooh. These guys are wise. It's a check of a 14. Ahh. Oh, so, vampire spawn number one is gonna fail, and, uh, baby-boop, vampire spawn number two is gonna fail. So, never mind. They are very frightened. For ten rounds for a full minute? Yeah. Oh, man. Until they take damage. Yeah. Nobody do anything. But would Ubo know that? In fact, it's Ubo's turn. Uh, well, Ubo, the good news is Ubo had a plan- like, Ubo's after the big dog, actually. Oh. Got tracks. So, that was, uh, so Ubo's gonna drop concentration on the spike growth. Oh. Uh-oh. Ubo is going to- I have to see what kind of action this thing is.

There is nothing between you two but air and opportunity. Yeah, but unfortunately I have- I don't have enough move to both get there and hit there. Kiss him. So, I forget. There's no natural charge ability. That's all, like, a fighter thing, right? No, I think- hold on. There's a- I don't think there's- Da da da da da da da da da, that's why we have cheat sheets sometimes. The thing is, I don't think I can make forty feet and attack just- I don't think you can either. There's- Jeez. Yeah, it's like a barbarian or a fighter thing. Yeah. Okay. So... Okay. It's not the most dramatic thing in the world, but unfortunately it's just what he can do.

Um, oh, and I'm in fifth level, so my spells do more damage than my cantrips do. That's helpful. Um... Oh, okay. Oh man, I'm gonna flex on this guy if it works. Uh-oh. So, one, two, three, four, five, six- wait. One, two, three, four, five, six- So you'd be two spaces away from him. I can't flex on him. Oh wait, uh, no I can't. I can do it. I can do it. I can flex. Okay, um, I'm gonna target him and I'm gonna thorn whip him and if I hit him I'm dragging him the ten feet into melee with me. Oh no. And so I've got him targeted, so come on. Do I want to use my advantage on this?

Oh, it's so dramatic. Okay, how do I use my advantage? Okay, first you swing and if you miss- You swing again? That's too generous. So you don't have to use the inspiration unless I miss? Right. That's generous. What? I'll go for it. No, no, no. What were you gonna say? Oh, sorry. Maybe I'm too stern, but if you use inspiration in my games you can declare it a four. But it's cool. It's cool. Because I give that inspiration less. Yeah, I've seen it done like both ways. Alright. I like to- I can click that advantage button and do this too. Just go ahead and swing, sir.

Okay, okay. Swinging it. Oh Jesus. So that's a nine. And I need it, so I'm using it. Okay. Do it again, baby. Seventeen will hit! Okay, okay. Much better. So I drag him ten feet toward me. Okay. And I deal- my spell has not been upgraded to- so I'll just pitch another damage die real quick? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Yeah, it needs to be doing 2d6. Alright. That's weird. So Ubo thrusts his quarterstaff forward and vines- spiky vines leap out of it and drag this vampire into range. And he- like, I picture them almost forehead to forehead. That's how hard Ubo yanks. And then Ubo just growls into his face.

"Tonight you return to dust." So is he grappled in any way? Restrained? No, he's just- he's dragged up to me and that's it. Okay. Alright. So, okay. Okay. Flex! Well, it's his turn. Yeah! Do it! And now he's gonna bite Ubo and Ubo turns into a vampire. Ahh. He's gonna use multi-attack. Let's do it. Okay. He is going. Perhaps I've made a terrible mistake. We'll find out. Wait, I wanna do something. Find out after a word from our sponsors. Put the "n" here. That's where we do it. That's- yep. That's where we do it. So here's what's gone. He's gonna attack twice with his claws.

So he has this scimitar with him. But you're right in close and I think this is more of a panic move, right? So he is going to... One. That'll hit- oh, I should target you. Geez, that's a rookie mistake, isn't it? And... okay, both of these are gonna hit. Okay, okay. Okay, so... six and five. He's also going to grapple you with the second one. Okay. And then he's gonna bear his fangs and he is going to try and bite Ubo. Are you ready? Hit it. Sixteen will hit. Ugh, on the dot. Oh no. Ooh. That doesn't automatically mean... [Laughter] So, he is going... It's out to the inner turmoil.

Yes! So this is what we just finally are getting to fight the vampires. This is like the most feeling good we've seen Ubo doing since the demon stuff. And then there's a chance that he might now become a vampire on top of all the demon stuff. Like... Ugh, man. Oh... buddy. So, you're gonna pull him in. Tonight you return to dust. And he is going to, like, reflexively... Like, that hurt. Like, I imagine this thorny whip wrapping around him and pulling him in. It's like, ugh, as it tugs in. It's like a choke collar full of spines. And he's gonna react... It didn't have to be this way.

And he is going to swipe at Ubo's face twice. And as Ubo turns from the second one... He's going to grab Ubo's face and shoulder and sink his teeth into Ubo's neck. And deal... Nine damage. But the damage isn't the thing. *sigh* Aster's turn. Oh, I don't make a con save or something right now? Not yet! Alright. We'll deal with that later. Okay, well... At least we got one clear target. So... And I get the +2 because Ubo's in front of him. Yeah. That's not really anything else to do, so... Gonna... 16 will just hit. Ooh, max damage! You get your sneak too. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, max damage from that! Ooh! Very nice. So, this arrow's gonna just strike him in the shoulder. I picture it hitting him in the one without the big red pauldron on it. He's gonna like *grunt* and stop biting Ubo. Amphen... Your thoughts? Witnessing that... I'm sure I saw. Because everyone else is running. I'm gonna target this guy. And he's like... This needs to end. And I'm going to cast Chromatic Orb at third level. Oh. So this will give me... Frickin' out the fine china! Yes. So, it will be 5d8 thunderd... Lightning. Do they have lightning? Yeah, there is lightning.

I don't know how... I think I have to just manually do the other two. Oh, hold on. I need an attack. Dur. Okay. Let's do the right thing first. Okay. How about a hit? Okay, there you go! Okay, now that 20 will work. 20 damage! But I need to do two more because it doesn't actually increase for the two spell slots. I'm doing above it. Oh, god. And... One? Oh. Well, that's a one, but still. And... That. Okay, so that's another five damage on top of the 18. Sweet, sweet, sweet. Well, on top of the 20. Oh, the 18 is the attack. Sorry, I'm used to seeing the damage attack. I know, I screwed up.

No, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine. Uh, geez, zoo. Okay. Alright. Uh, so that's a shit ton of damage. Is Anvin done? Yeah, I'll be done. Alright. Vampire spawn is gonna run. It's just gonna flee into the woods. Is there a distance? Or just run? He just wants to get as far away as possible. Gotcha. So you know what? We're just gonna remove Buddy Boy here from combat. Boom. Vampire spawn number one is a gone. Donovan, your thoughts? Um, does the other... I look back at Mattie and Anvin to see if they're safe. Does vampire spawn too look like he's also afraid? Uh, yeah.

And might be able to take off? Yeah, hold on a second. Do do do do. There. Uh, he's gonna be... Wait, wait a second. Yeah. During great time. When I'm very frightened, what I do is I spin around a lot. Uh, so yeah, he's gonna run away. Alright, so he will then look towards Ubo and the unnamed tiefling vampire. Okay. Uh, does haste give me also, uh, move speed? Anvin? Yeah, you should be double. Double? Okay, so I should have just like, five down. Yeah, you can... I should be, yeah, I can make it more. Yeah. He's doubled. Cool. So run super fast, uh, right next to Ubo, and with the extraction, I will try to tackle Kalras away, try to get his...

Little shilty shove. ...tief out of my friend. Okay. Well, he let go after the arrow struck him, but yeah, he's right there in the face. Yeah, yeah, so... Yeah. Same old thing. Oof. 16. So... Do I get a plus two because I'm in, uh, with Ubo? That counts as an attack, right? Not really. Well, yeah, I don't know. No, it's just skill checks and ability checks. Okay, so no. 21. Dang it. So no. Uh, we'll take my normal attack then, and I'll use... yeah, I'll just, I'll just attack him. Let's do that for the first time today. Let's do it. Let's just do meat and potatoes.

Let's just, you know... Abilities, inventory, actions. Okay. Plus two. Did you forget where the attacks are? No, I was looking for the plus two. Oh. We haven't fought in a while. That's true. That's what I was wondering. Okay. Ooh, 16 will hit! Just! Those little rolls. Just, just, just, just. Alright, because I hit, I will use Goading Attack. He needs to roll a Wisdom save against 16, otherwise he has the advantage if he doesn't attack me. Okay. I'll do the damage after. Wait, what? Oh, sorry. I'm waiting for you to make the Wisdom save. Yeah, sorry. Oh, god! Okay. Sorry.

Jesus. Oh, wow. Well, that's good. Well, this gentleman crit, so that's 24. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'll just roll a D8 because I still get to add the damage and I'll add that to my damage modifier. So that's going to be plus six to my damage. And here we go. Damage. 13! 13 damage! And damage, and then I get another attack. Good god. Well, I mean, it's just two attacks. No, no, no! Fighters! Yeah, fighters. Yeah, same. I'll do a normal attack again. Oh, that's gonna be nice. Action Surge. I'll attack twice again. Now we're getting there. Do it. Lay him out. Oh, man. Oh, wow. That's gonna miss.

Wait, that's gonna hit. Sorry. Hit. Can I roll damage? Wait, why'd it hit? It hit. Because it's 18, 15, I guess. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was 16. Okay. My damage. 11? Okay. And I'll do another Go Ding attack if it hits for my last attack. Plus two again. Jeez. Okay. 18'll hit. So that's gonna be plus eight to eight. Plus six again. That's another Wisdom save for him? Yes. 11. So he has disadvantage if he attacks someone else. Okay. Jesus. And 19 damage. Oh my god. Okay. Okay, I'm done. Okay. I could take a bonus action, but I don't have anything. Okay. So wait, the shove counts this attack?

The first shove was the... Yeah. But that was for the haste. Okay, for the haste. That's what... Okay. So I was trying to count it up. It's like, wait a second. He got used to it. I've used all my cooldowns. Okay. Vampire spawn number two is going to run off the battlefield and into the woods. I'm sure he'll make out fine in the divide. Maddie. So Maddie's gonna look over to the one that burst into flames and she's gonna look startled like, oh, what? I can use this again, guys. But she doesn't want to because she doesn't like that she killed one. Because she just thought she was making them run away and then she accidentally killed one.

Well, the vampires have been in slavers. She's trying to cool it down, guys. They're holding different kind of people in different kind of cages. Oh, that's true. But aren't they bad people to begin with? Oh, God. They did bite. He did bite. I just don't want to kill him. Do what Maddie would do. I know. She doesn't know. Okay. She will say another prayer because I start beginning at six level. You can use your channel divinity twice before between rest. So she will say a prayer again and do turn on dead on Kalraus. Okay. 14 is the wisdom safety. Oh, boy. 11 again.

Same thing. So he's scared. He done scared now. So again, the light erupting. Yes, light erupting and then engulfs him and then you could see the fear in his eyes. Oh, geez. Okay. Ubo, you have thoughts? Okay. I have bad news. I don't want him to run. Ubo wants to finish the fight here. Okay. So Ubo likes doing damage, but I guess he can't do the tactically smart thing and just light him up with fairy fire. It'd be really cool to get the killing blow on him if I can do enough damage with flame maybe. Maybe. Yeah, I know. Did you say sling blade? With the sling blade, yeah.

So what kind of action is that? That is not action. If he's afraid, can he not take opportunity attacks? He can't. He could only run. He can't take any reactions. He could only use dash action or try to escape an effect that prevents it from moving. Okay. Man, maybe I do want to hit him with fairy fire because that would give you all advantage to attack rolls and then we can just blow this dude out of the water if he fails a save. Who's next to initiative after me? You don't know that. If I was paying attention, I would. So open the combat tracker. Yeah, you'll have a nice surprise.

It's the guy who bit you. Oh, okay. That's right. How does Ubo react to being bitten? Yeah, he didn't like it. Okay. Well, no, I think right now he's too much in the adrenaline zone to think about the implications, but he's out to kill. All right, so I'm going to flame blade. So bonus action to activate flame blade, which then I just make an attack roll and see if I hit and I've targeted him. So zing. Hey, Jesus. 24 will hit. All right. 3D six fire damage. 10 damage. Pretty solid. That's my bonus action and my standard action. So Ubo. Well, I've unfortunately I've I stand there.

I stay. Yeah, I'm after him. So he's not scared anymore. Oh, he's not scared anymore. Once he takes damage. Yeah. Sorry. No, that's okay. They're playing their characters. Yeah, it makes sense. I would say, yeah, he didn't enjoy that. He also did not like the thing. So you're going to see teeth bared, fucking probably reflexively like holding an arm up while Maddie's doing the holy light junk blood junk junk to him. It's like, ah, that gobbledygook shit that burns. So you're going to see Ubo's blood dripping down his beard, his goatee, and then he's going to get hit by Ubo.

I would say he's going to disengage and use all available movement to get the hell away from you people. He's still scared. It's a tactical retreat. It's all natural scared. It was our channel divinity. So he's going to get far away and I would say, let's see here. Can you get far enough away that my sniping feet can get far enough away that double speed Donovan can't catch him. That's what I'm seeing. I'm debating on using a bonus action to I'm debating. I feel like he's trying to get away from you enough that I'm going to use a bonus action. All right, so he's going to disengage and then use both of his movements to get away.

And what I'm going to use is leap. So he is going to try to leap into the trees here. Now the problem with that is it has to beat your passive perception or you're going to lose him in the trees. And I'm guessing people like Aster have pretty damn decent passive perception. Would I be incorrect? Mine is a 17. I think if I'm looking at the right spot. So here we go. Holy shit. He's gone. He figured out how to turn into mist. Look at that! He turned down. Real scared. So he is going to just like, just get away from Ubo. Run. Oh, just run down the road here and off the path and leap into these trees.

And you're going to hear like, you're going to, you know, leaves are going to scatter and stuff like that. You're going to lose him in these trees. He is gone. Without missing a beat, Tonnafun is going to grab Ubo by one shoulder and put his hand over the wound on his neck and go like, we got to move. We got to get away as fast as possible. And he's going to try to tug on Ubo. Going like, there's no resting now. Trent would speak up. Is he gone? No shit, he's gone. So okay, I picture Trent being back here with Aster and he's going to grab Aster's arm. We did it!

We beat him! Oh, oh, they like, kick him off. Is it a combination of him touching them and partially claiming victory with the Wii? Yeah, oh yeah. No, like, yeah, like they're going to say that thing about, yeah, he's gone. And just like, kick him off. I run up to Ubo and Donovan, who all saw the bite. It looks like because Donnie did, but did we all see him get bit? Oh man, it was right in front of you all. I would say it was pretty obvious. Cool. Yeah. We'll either run and find a place to then check this out, or we check it out here in the middle of the divide.

Well, it will have to be in the divide, but not here. Right. Let's run for a while. If you can. I'll try. And I don't know how Ubo's reacting to like, Donovan putting pressure on his wound or anything. Man, Ubo is like, this close to just running into the woods in the last direction he saw this guy, because that's just frustrating. Ugh. Ubo doesn't know he's lost him, right? Like, that's the... I mean, yeah, I mean, you don't see him. Well, actually, let's take him away. So, yeah, boom. So, you know he jumped into the trees, and you know you don't see him anymore.

I mean, Ubo kinda wants to bust off in that direction and see if he can catch any trace, like any sort of last ditch effort. So that's what he does. He goes running in the direction, at least for a bit, that he saw him go. Give me an athletics check. Okay. With advantage. Advantage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. 18. So you are, like, I picture Ubo as just pissed. Like, he's, like, that adrenaline's pumping, like you said, and he's just going to bust out. Like, Donnie's gonna be like, "Hey, we need to get going," and you're just gonna sprint towards the last location you saw this guy run.

So you're gonna run off the path and into the woods. Yes. Excellent. Well, it's called the Deadwood. I don't see what could possibly go wrong. I have a flaming scimitar. It'll be fine. Yeah, you're fine. So, how does everyone else feel? Yeah, no, I was just, like, staring at where Ubo left, like, what now? So much is happening at once. It's just a lot. Donovan's still hasted, so we got that haze boner. After Ubo left, he'll look at Ubo's blood on his glove, and he'll, like, introspectively go, "I don't know what I can do." Like, he feels really kind of powerless in front of what's happened to Ubo, so he'll look at the group and tell them, "Alright, go meet with Masoka and Cliff.

I'll bring Ubo back. Don't stay here. We gotta move." And he'll take off after Ubo. It only lasts a minute, then you're gonna get real tired. It's already been, like, 18 seconds. I don't want to cause trouble for myself, but when Masoka took off with Clifford, they are in the Divide. Oh, don't worry, I didn't forget. Okay. You only had to go more than 30 feet away. Well, that wasn't... I know. That wasn't specified. Oh, this looks like a safe cave. It's like... Good stuff. So you're off the road. Oh, no. To clarify. Mm-hmm. Okay. We'll come back. We didn't say that, G's group.

Don't you worry. So you got four of you off the road. Trent, don't worry. Don't worry. Trent's stuck with the party. If you don't slip Trent from the party, everything goes well. Everything's great. He's like a good luck charm. So let's follow Ubo first. Ubo took off. He's doing great. And I would say, Masoka is... Or not Masoka, sorry. Donovan is hot on the heels. Does Donnie say anything? Cry out? Like... No, I'll try to, like, just catch Ubo. Like I'll try to follow the sound of him. Okay. I don't know if I... Yeah, I don't have that actor on his Dagon bond that leads me to him, so I'll just do my best.

Yeah, you're playing like all these plebes now. You gotta... Yeah. It's tough. This game's tough. He took the "Find your iPhone" off his phone. It's solid. Look at the broken branches. Yeah, he's got Ubo saved to the cloud. It's fine. It's fine. So okay. I don't think... Okay. One, I don't think you need to track Ubo. One, I don't think Ubo's sneaking anywhere. Two, you took off right after him. Like I'm not gonna make you do all that. But after, let's say, I don't know, 30, 40 seconds of this, Ubo's not finding this guy yet. And at what point would Ubo get frustrated?

Just keep running? What's going through Ubo's head? He's just... Besides, I'm gonna kill this guy. He's just... He wants... I mean, he wants to finish the job, right? Right, totally. Yeah. That's what's going through his head. And he's like, he's with total disregard for, you know, what might be the implications of going off the path. He is just like after this guy. So here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna have you both roll one more athletics check. If Ubo rolls higher than Donovan, then Ubo's just gonna pull ahead. If Donovan rolls higher than Ubo, then he's gonna catch up to Ubo and, I don't know, try to attempt to do something.

Does that sound fair? Yes. All right, Ubo. Athletics, you said? Yeah, let's start with Ubo. Yeah. Well, that's a nine. Wow. Oh, Jesus. That's a 24. And it's a good thing because Donnie's gonna catch up to Ubo just as this spell wears off. Oh no. What do you do? I sent you a quick message on the site if you wanted to look at it, Jason. Oh, where? If you want it. Skype. Oh, okay. Yeah, he'll catch up to Ubo and go like, not yelling at him, but trying to at least get his attention and go, "Ubo, you're super hurt." Going any further would only be a death sentence and there could be more of them.

We have to go back with the group. He needs to die. We'll get him next time. We'll be back, but we'll be stronger. I need you to come back with me. I'll train with you to beat them to a pulp, but now's not a good time. Ubo just roars into the night like he's just so infuriated. He just drops to his knees. I don't even know what's going through his mind anymore. Donovan's gonna get this tickle in the back of his mind. This weird feeling. And it's almost like he can sense where this vampire is, like vaguely. It's not like predator vision or something, but he could sense that this vampire is definitely moving away.

So while they're not in immediate danger, it could come back, but you get the sense that it's like, okay, it's not floating right above us in a tree branch or something ready to pounce. There's something, and this is a very foreign feeling to Donovan. Okay. So not within one move that we could do and try to finish him off now, we'd have to keep running kind of thing. You'd have to keep running, yeah. Okay. I'll keep that to myself. Okay. And yeah, I'll tell Ubo, like, let me take a look at your wound again. Maybe we can get Mattie to help you with that. Ubo just silently gets to his feet and trudges along with Donovan.

And he'll like, he'll take off the bloody glove and he'll like try to put pressure on it again and make his way back. Okay. So Trent is going to be very upset. And anybody who's still back at the path, he's like, guys, we got to go. We can't, they're not going to stop trying to get me. Can you get me to Durnhollow? Can you get me to Durnhollow? I know some people there. I can lay down. I don't need to stick with you forever. I just need some help. Could you help me? You guys are good people, right? Can you defend yourself in any manner? Doesn't seem like it. Well, I mean, no one attacked me.

Wow. Come on guys, tie him up by the feet and hang him from the tree. So Aster just like got to turn to Ant and just like, so should we should wait here for our runaways, right? Like that's. Yeah, but I also want to get Soka because I don't want him to keep running or he doesn't stop. He's just like, come on, get going. He's just Forrest Gump. This is like a really bad situation, huh? Don't split up in really dangerous parts of the world when it's dark and rainy and everything about this night has just been so much. I mean, that's what I learned in my first years, you know, in the guidebook, you know, you don't split the party.

You know, how fast can you, I don't want to split it even more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I'm at the same thought, like. Also I'd rather not die again. Yeah, no, that's OK. So I guess we like wait here for a few minutes and see if anyone comes back and then we can figure something out. And oh, by the way, Astor just like completely ignoring Trent. I know at this point. That's mean. You guys are mean. I mean, this sounds like a really bad idea, but I could make you like I made Donnie and maybe you could catch up to myself go faster. Well, hold on, let me see if I can at least like tell where he went.

It's I mean, and Astor is going to kind of like look around and try to see if they can get a sense of like which direction did the bazooka go. Like, I don't know what role that would be, but it's like if they can't even get that there is like it's not waste anything. Right. So give me a survival check. Yeah. Because you're going to track them. You got a definite sense of where you got a direction and you might have to like you'd probably be moving a lot slower than them, obviously. But like you could see it's like, OK, there's some broken branches over there.

And yeah, I got a sense. First of all, you know that they went off the beaten path. They're not on the path anymore. They ran in the woods. It is nighttime in the Divide. Yeah. Oh my God. At least they both have darkvision. Yes. So you could definitely see what's barreling down on you before it happens. Yep. That's. You get to be afraid of it before you know it. Really get that blood pumping before. Well at least there's no unknown, you know? That's fair. You know what? With that role, would I also like be able to find my way back here? That's another important consideration.

Well, I mean, you got you definitely OK, you're heading in a direction and then we'll deal with the direction back. By yourself? Yeah, that's another I don't want to go back. This is yeah. Aster is just kind of like like it's like you're looking at where Masoko is. You're going to look back at Ammon and they look kind of like like Bralfro and just. Yeah. OK. I'm trying to see where he went, but listen, I just I think it'd be really stupid if I just kind of went by myself. And also, I don't want to leave you here alone, because then if you die again, it's kind of on me and like no offense, but it doesn't really take much.

Maddie's here. Oh, that's what I was going to ask. Like, what? Where's Maddie? I thought that she went after Donovan. So that's the trick. So Trent and Maddie are being ignored. So OK, Trent is still there. Trent would definitely try to. Yeah, Trent would grab Maddie's arm. It's like, come on, you look reasonable. We got to do something. You got the the the light powers. Come on, come on. Follow us if you want, but you're going to have to pull your own weight. Donovan, before we do anything else, can you take care of the smell? It might attract creatures and she's going to shrug off his arm.

Can you like do what you did to the vampires, but like to him and burn it off or something? I think that might be the kind of more measures we've got to take here. Well, it can take a few minutes and just maybe it'll be longer than just a few. And then over time, while we wait, he should be somewhere near reasonable in appearing or not. Oh, they can help that. That's the smell. Third time. Yeah, that's like the third time someone's mentioned his stink. So like he's going to raise his arm and like sniff his armpit. Just like, you literally you literally climb through a sewer to get out of here.

Like, don't don't even. Yeah, I think it's literally in his mouth and nose. So like maybe he's he's he's gone like sniff blind to it. Like, you know, like he said. So like he's like he's going to look down a little bit when you say that. It's like, oh, like he's like his feelings are a little hurt. I'll put my hand up. It's almost like stop. Don't even. But it's also just then radiating the presidigitation spell, like just continually. It's just like a handout. So it's like, can you speak? Do you hear me? But I'm telling you to stop. Like, maybe I'm smelling it or I don't know.

You know, just like a. Right. So while that's going on. Go ahead, Maddie. Oh, OK. I was just going to say, while that's happening, Maddie's going to turn to Aster and say to them, we shall we shall wait here until Ugo and Donovan get back. Misoka can handle himself and then we'll track him down. Sounds like a plan. What was that? Jesus. Nothing. No, I'm just so excited. You're right into my trap. OK. Finally, somebody found it. I love tables, you guys. I love them. I love. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to wrap things up today with two rolls.

OK. All right. So let's so Misoka and Clifford are are just running. They're trying to get away from this and shield Clifford's young, innocent eyes from whatever the hell Maddie was going to do. It would have killed him. Yes. No, I know. Yes. So you're you're you're in the woods now. You're there's tree branches here and there and you're threatening to kind of smack in the face. You're just like running. You're like, come on, come on. I need you to do me a favor and roll a flat D20 for me. OK. 12. Better than average. It is better than average. You're right. That means nothing.

So does it. It's OK. We'll take it. So I think it was 12 coincidence. That's good, right? Yes. There you go. Yeah. OK. You're going to hear a voice screaming. It's definitely female. It sounds like it's coming in the distance, like further north from you. And it doesn't sound like they're they're screaming because they're hurt. It doesn't sound like they're screaming because they're they're screaming at someone. This is more screaming for someone. They are definitely scared. And it sounds like they're screaming for another person. Like they're this is targeted. Now there's a problem here.

What you don't want to do in in the Deadwood is scream. Now you have a choice to make. You could go toward that noise. And there are an abundance of problems there. First you have no idea who this woman is, what's going on. And you might get there and a bunch of stuff is just swarming. You have no idea. And if it isn't swarming now, it could be soon because she is screaming her head off. Or you could deal with your own problems and walk away. No one has to know. Are you making me decide right now? I'll give you a second. But let's cut back to Ubo. Ubo and Donnie.

Now here's a fun bit. We get to dust off some mechanics from the book, guys. Now the cool thing here is not only not only are there a bunch of tables and stuff like that and there are full mechanics for vampires in the Adventurous Guide to Theory of Volume 1. You can preorder it now. So there's a bunch of mechanics for that, but there's even a tastiness scale based on what race you are. And when someone is bitten, depending on what race you are and all kinds of stuff, there's a table that determines the saving throw. Because Ubo has some orcish blood in him, that's actually going to bolster his immunity a bit, which lowers the DC.

But I'm afraid you're going to have to roll a DC for us, Rob. Okay. Quick question. Yes. Do these rules say anything about helping on those rolls at all? Is there a way? There is no way. Okay. This is all the body's ability to fight back. This is just, this is on you. This is a magical virus, actually. So there's no magical solutions to help out either? Not that anyone knows of yet. Okay. So I need you to roll a Constitution save for me. Okay. Holy shit. Wow. That's tasty. That was awesome. That's a crit fail. Three is not going to cut it. Yeah. Did you say three is not going to do it?

No. I'm afraid it didn't lower the DC that much. As Ubo and Donnie are standing here, Ubo's going to feel just drained, just weak. He's going to feel sick to his stomach a bit. He's going to be very aware of his wounds from battle, which is not something I would say Ubo is terribly concerned with on a day-to-day basis. But today he's just, he's really going to be, he's really going to be aware. Hey, Masoka. I made a decision. I need to know something. Okay. I'd like to just do a Perception check just to see what's immediately around us. Okay. As far as trees, rocks, whatever.

Absolutely. Oh dear. And I'm a vampire now too. Well, you rolled a two. That's a seven total. Man, you guys. Oh my God. You did so well in combat. You're going to notice that right in front of you, there's kind of this rocky ledge that leads up. It's probably like 10 feet high, something. And then the ground around it seems to build up to this hill. And it's not steep or anything like that. You could totally just run around it and run up. But it's very difficult to see more than 30, 40 feet in front of you because the arch in the ground, it is going to start to drizzle again, just a little bit.

And oh, with a seven, I don't even think you'd know exactly how far away she is. She is far. Like you could tell that there's a good distance. And what it sounds like with the, just, just, just for the seven, it sounds like she's screaming for her son or someone very close to her. And Clifford's going to look up at Masoka. Oh, here it goes. Here it goes. And just kind of like waiting, waiting to see what he does. So what's Masoka going to do? If she's screaming for her son, if that's apparent, then he needs to quietly sneak in and check it out without being seen.

So you're going to head further north into the woods. Yes. Okay. Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the evening. Ubo. Rob, I am so sorry. It's always Rob. History repeats itself. It's getting, it's getting bad. So I don't know, right? You can't still have bloodless and kind of lose control kind of right? Well, that's it. It's kind of sexy though. Yeah. It's way better than being a werewolf. That's true. That's poetic irony. He'll have top fangs to match his bottom fangs. You get to test out some cool mechanics from the book. Yay? I'm trying, man. I'm trying to be Johnny Silver lining here.

Yeah. I don't know. I think a half-orc vampire is pretty bad ass. That's pretty bad ass. Think of the art, Rob. Think of the art. We can talk about what Ubo's thinking later. Oh, Rob. Ubo needs more reasons to kill himself. Oh no. Like Ubo, Ubo was ready to kill a vampire child. He is not going to suddenly have extra tolerance for his own vampirism. He's gonna have the most evil half-orc you've ever met. So yeah, I don't, I don't know how much longer you'll have Ubo here. So maybe we'll get him. Masoko's about to run off and get himself killed. I'm gonna just adopt a couple children and start a family.

We should have discussed this first. Masoko and Clifford go. I don't know. Hey, group B. Hey, group B. I don't want to hear no more complaining about the divide. Yeah, no. You got all your bad luck in one episode. Holy shit, guys. You're supposed to spread it out over like six months. I think, I think Trent is the trigger. I think it's Trent's fault. It's the conduit. Sorry, Rob. It's interesting. Interesting character development, though. Like the one thing that he never wanted to happen to. Why is it always that to Rob? It doesn't seem fair. I got confidence. I will say just because there is an apparent cure for vampirism right now, it has been dealt with on the show before.

We just had to do more blood magic. Yeah. This stuff, this stuff. You've already made one deal with a demon. Why not just kill? Two Clarissa. I really hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. Take a look in the description of this episode as we are hoping to get some feedback from you guys. We're going to be making some big changes to the Patreon coming in the new year, and what we want to do in November is get a ton of feedback from you guys. What do you like? What do you not like? And we're probably going to be getting rid of some shows, doing some new stuff, just generally changing things up.

We feel like it's, like it's time to do that. So again, the more feedback we get, the more informed a decision we can make about our Patreon. Beyond that, we'll be posting Bree's live game a little later in the week. I'm going to be doing some editing to polish up the sound and everything, and it'll probably be going up like Wednesday, Thursday, somewhere in there in the main feed. You guys made that a, just a super fun time. Honestly, there were a ton of people in the chat, and I think Bree, despite herself, enjoyed DMing for a change. Obviously, patreon.com/dandr is the place where you can get tons of bonus content behind the scenes for every episode, including the one that you just heard.

We're even doing video behind the scenes now, and we have shows like Living in Theria, Character Chat. We are getting ready to post a new Vampire the Masquerade episode later this month, and we just posted a DRP about a week and a half ago. So until next week, thank you guys so much for your support, and we will see you next