Bean Leavings

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[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Ark 3, episode 10 of the DNR podcast is brought to you today by Respect the Crit. Join Ian, Jamie and Alex as they embark on a new venture in a galaxy far, far away. Respect the Crit is a brand new podcast featuring the trio from Group B as they play the Star Wars RPG system from Fantasy Flight Games. Their first campaign, Empire's Edge, begins in early December.

Follow the link in this episode to hear more or look for Respect the Crit wherever you get your podcasts. Previously for Group B. After making it to the city of Esterholt and having a quick look around the group managed to speak with Mayor Jadzia Grimnus-Grace and tell her all about the impending danger that the Black Hand poses in Brightport. After explaining to her that the demon Dharmak was behind much of this she gave them the go-ahead to use brutal force in bringing the Black Hand down. And that's where we pick things up today. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves.

I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table starting with Valerie. Hi everyone, I'm Valerie and I play Elena, the human fighter. And Alex. Hey, I'm Alex and I play Brelin, the halfling bard. And Jameson. Hi, I'm Jameson, I play Larg. That was so quick, I panicked. Larg me! And Jamie! Hi there, I'm Jamie, I play Tatyana, the human rogue. And Karen. Hi, I'm Karen and I play Kali, the elven druid. And Ian. Hello, I'm Ian, I play Kaldin Halek, the half-elf sorcerer. And I don't have a thing for this one. This time I don't have a thing. Maybe that's my thing, is I don't have a thing.

Well I didn't have a thing. Karen will be happy. That's good. But yeah, this one I don't have a thing for. This isn't the one. And Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna and I play Jadzia Grimnisk-Grace, the human mayor, warlock, wife, and mother. Those are all glasses. Is Merrick glass? Yeah, no, that's... She took two levels of wife. Honestly, she's like a superwoman now, so... She has advantage in Valis's heart. Wow, that was bad. Whoa, whoa. It's fine. So let's pick things up pretty much where we left off last time. We have a very, I'd say, meaningful conversation going on in the mayor's office of Esther Holt.

I would say after the Paladin's Accord here know what they're supposed to be doing, they would probably clear out and start prepping because it looks like there's a field trip a-comin'. Is Julie still going to get Valis? I mean, yeah, but who knows how long that's gonna take. You just wanted to make sure that was... So yeah, back to you guys. I meant to ask you, what's the date again? Like the actual date, the date that we know now? It is the 9th of Alta Ornn. 8th of Alta Ornn, I'm sorry. 8th of Alta Ornn. No, it's in the 9th. It's the 9th. It is the 9th, I was correct.

I was on the wrong page. You made me scribble out my 9th. I'm sorry, jeez. I just did that too, and it was a perfect 9. Right? Well, it's the 9th. So we left off with Jadzia, and I'm paraphrasing, saying "Kill the fucker." Would Jadzia like to elaborate? I think the last thing she said before we faded to black was "He was my husband." True. But... That's so weird, I usually have to be further away. Well, you gotta get close. Okay, hi. 'Cause you're doing a mousy voice. I don't even know when I'm doing it. I don't know, I feel like she would, after kind of dropping that bomb, she would take a very deep breath and then slowly let it out.

And her hands will steady themselves a little bit, and then she'll turn back around to the group. I was the one who delivered his soul to a demon. I thought we were going to be done with him. Instead, it seems as though I've created an even worse monster. So, you're intimately familiar with this demon, then. What can you tell us about him? His name was Darmok. He was a blood mage. He did... horrible things. And her hand is going to kind of graze up her arm, and she does have very visible burn marks, going basically from the base of her neck all over her body, and she's not covering as much skin as she used to.

She's wearing like a short-sleeve dress, and you can see them. I have his research locked away, of course. I don't know what he's been doing. I can't tell you that. I can't help you with that. But I promise I will do everything in my power to help you destroy him. And Cullen will nod at her, and he'll say... You can see the gears in his head are turning now, because there's like... we've lost a month, and there's a lot to do. So he's just kind of like thinking through what the next kind of things they need to do are. But he'll bow at Jodzia and say, "Thank you so much for your help.

I would be very interested in looking at that research if there's anything locked away in there that might help us overcome him. I suppose you're like us as far as we know. All he is doing is working with the Black Hand, but to what capacity? I have no idea. We have no idea how they're communicating, or how much power he has over her or is giving to her." I also have contacts in Brightport. My husband is the son of the current owner of House Dragonkeep. I'm sure that she would also like to put an end to this now. Tessia Grimness is alive. And she's going to give a very small nod, in the tensest of smiles.

Oh my god. That is good news. We are friends of her daughter, Erolove. We've traveled all over Tharia with her. We were at the gates. We were at the seal together. And House Dragonkeep is very much a friend of ours. That is good news that she yet lives. Is she in hiding? Why would she keep this? And she's going- her eyes are going to light up a little bit when you say that you were at the seal because while she wasn't there, she's definitely heard about it. And she might motion, like whoever is closest to the door, she might motion for them to close it, even though she had been whispering, she'll be like, "Okay, let's..." And then once the door is closed, she'll sit back down.

She's in hiding for the exact reason you would expect. The story of her assassination did in fact happen. Only she survived. It seemed safer to make sure that she stayed that way by hiding her life. Erolove has gone back to Brightport as far as I know. I saw her recently. The Black Hand is almost certainly the one who attacked her. So as you can see, we have a lot of stake in your journey. And she's going to kind of smile at the group, probably assuming you were all there even though it was two of you? I don't know. Anyway, she'll just smile at the whole group.

I'm very glad you're the group that came to me with this. I know about the seal. I have friends who were there. Una, of course, and Merrick. And she's going to look up like, "Do you know Merrick?" Yeah, call him and look at Braelyn and be like, "Yes, we do know Merrick. Not well, not intimately, but we fought alongside him. Yes." This is good. I will certainly give you the research that I have, so long as you promise to only use it for good. The magic that he was playing with... Well, and she'll hold up her hand more outwardly now. Like, this kind of does.

Oh, and showing off her scars and stuff? Basically, yeah. Oh, god. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a madman, and I have no delusions that he's changed over time. If anything, he's simply grown more stable, which makes him more dangerous. I'm sorry for the burden that he has put on your soul and inhale-like gesture to you on your body. But I agree. We will and we need to protect Theria from him, the Black Hand, and others like them. Uh, Mayor GrimnousGrace, we thought we had more time, and it seems the world has not ended, obviously. Which is good, but we don't know how much time we have left.

We need to come up with a game plan, and we would very much like to have your counsel on this as we talk it through here. And he'll look at everyone else. I think there isn't much time that we can spend in Astrahalt. We may need to divide and conquer to get the things accomplished here that we need to get accomplished. Are you talking about splitting the party? Oh, you know I'm talking about splitting the party! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you talking about cross-country splitting the party? This is serious. This is serious! That I don't know. All of us gotta go to Deadwood, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe three of you. Maybe three of you head up north and maybe... Oh, gosh. I hate when you take that tone, Jason. Why are you cheering you on? Then we're gonna die. What are you doing? Why don't you all just go in different directions and just... I can hear you flipping the pages in your binder. It's gonna be three of you, yeah. Just three of you. Go where all the baby heads are. Like a coven. All I know is I already died once. Larg died twice. Thanks to an even five for both of you. Right? I thought that's too big. We should probably start that show up again at some point.

Anyway. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. What is everyone thinking? What is everyone else thinking here? What's everyone doing in the office? I feel like Larg is very carefully sitting on a chair, worried that he's going to break it. Aww. Like, how can I tell when someone is sitting with only a quarter of their weight actually resting? I hate Jadzia. What would you say the quality of the chairs are in your office? The nicest! The nicest. He's so self-conscious already. I think. I mean, Jadzia has to hold the chairs at any given time. Unless there's like one chair specifically for Seraph that he specifically picked to be too fragile for Valus to sit in because he's that much of a petty bitch.

Okay, why'd you give it in? You know what? On a scale of one to ten, Larg, let's see how sturdy this chair is. Oh my gosh. I imagine his rows were slayed and like hands on, holding his weight up, you know? Yeah, or maybe Valus has sat in it so many times that like you just kind of wear it out eventually. That's a three. So like, Larg, okay. Okay. Do you ever sit in a chair? Usually a kitchen chair. And you could tell that maybe the screws or bolts are just a little loose and it's got a bit of wobble to it, a little bit of lean. Oh, there's a sway. Yeah, a little bit of sway.

And then you start putting the weight on the balls of your feet because you don't want to like, you don't want to be the guy who collapses a chair. So like you start like you're very uncomfortable, but you're like, "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I'm listening." Like you're, yeah, that's what's happening right now for Larg. Yeah, like would it be weird if I stood back up? Right, exactly. It's like, well, I don't want to be rude, but... Yeah. Okay. I don't know what this, any of this is like because I've never sat in a chair before, so... Yeah, yeah, as soon as you said, "Have you ever sat in a chair?" I was gone.

I was out. I only use standing desks. I only use a trench desk. Get out. But I haven't told you about my standing desk. I should tell you. So much more efficient, guys. Getting all my steps in today. Oh my god. So, everyone else? Pfft. What exactly was the question that was asked? What are we gonna do here? Yeah, I guess there wasn't really one, but that's kind of what that was like. We kind of need to split up in this city, like... There's a lot for us to do. Yeah. And Tatiana, or Jamie, you had a really good idea last time that I don't think you got to voice that you should definitely voice.

Don't fucking do that to me, Ian. I don't know what that was. Wow. What was this idea? It was a stroke of brilliance is what it was. It's a month and a half ago. Can you refresh my memory and point this thing to me? I think it was, like, paladins of Kord mount up, see if you can get any other allies along the way while we go swift as we can to the forest. And we just go to the Blacktip Forest to try to get whatever advantage we can, right? Yeah, and we both meet up at Brightport. That's much better. That's a much better plan than splitting the party so some people go to the forest and some people go to Astrohold.

I mean, Brightport. Guys, Jason's smiling. Just so you know, as you're talking, Jason's smile keeps getting bigger. Is that better gaming? No, because if we were playing real life, we could see him smile in real life. Oh, really? That's information that we're robbed of because of the digital. But I'm having a hard time because Jamie really wants to go to the Blacktip Forest. Go! When are they going to get to the fireworks factory? When are they going to get to the ghosty goo factory? Um, yeah. Jason, go to Blacktip Forest. Tatiana would say that exact same plan.

After Kalden mentions the idea of splitting our forces to sort of conquer everything, Tatiana will sort of lean into the conversation. I picture her more in the background while there's this exchange between Kalden and Jadzia. And Tatiana will just slowly sort of walk up and say, "Well, we do have a lot to address in the city and we can definitely split up for that." And she'll look around at the party members to sort of signify that we can all do our own thing. But I think really, and she'll look over to Jadzia and start to address just her. I think really what would be best is if the paladins were sent on their way to Brightport trying to get as much help as possible.

And we, sort of gesturing to the group, should go to the Blacktip Forest. Because Vecna said that there was something there that could help us. Graydon's going to nod emphatically. "Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the scary place. Sure, why not? I'm already dead." And he looks at Larg and then shrugs. And you die twice, so fair game, right? Well, we just gotta, we don't, we gotta be able to get there fast, so far away. Mm-hmm. I think Graydon would look at Jadzia and say, "Ah, Miss Mayor, your honor. Your Highness." [Laughter] I'm just going to be great. Your Grace, even.

Your Grace. I'm going to be frank with you. He's going to walk up to the desk, because he's significantly shorter. He's going to, like, I guess look for a chair and hop on it, you know? One would say Sheldon size, yes. No, I'm just going to be very established. And he will say, "I'm going to be very frank with you. We haven't had the best of luck with horses or donkeys." And he looks behind him. And he'll talk to the group. But we could really use some if we're going to get to the Blacktooth Forest and then to Brightport afterwards. And I just want to be honest, they might not come back.

But I'm trying to be truthful so that maybe you can, you know, lend us, I don't know, one lesson there are people here, because technically I can just ride on somebody's back. It's not a big deal. Jodzi will kind of take all this in, and she's already probably taking out a piece of parchment paper and starting to jot something down. And she'll nod along to that and then fold it up and hand it to Braylin and say, "Show this to anyone in the city you need to talk to and anyone you need a favor from." He's going to slowly take it and, like, look at it, but not open it.

And as he's looking at it, is this like a one-time thing or can we use this a lot of times? She's going to huff and say, "I did date it." Okay, so many times one date. Got it. Thank you. Oh my god. Did we just get Mom's credit card? A little bit. Have fun carrying Paul Mar. I told you to do an automate victory. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Yeah, he's going to take it and put it away, but he's going to make sure everyone sees it and put it away. He's not trying to steal it or anything. She's then going to turn to Tatiana and say, "Do you have any allies that you'd like the Paladins of Kord to speak to on the way to Brightport?" Tatiana's going to sort of look around towards the group and just look back over towards Jodzia.

Unfortunately, your mayor-ness... The only allies I have are in this room. That's adorable. Friendship plus 10. Oh my god, shut up you guys. Hold it, we'll remember that. Embarrassing me for the mayor. I'm going to try and bring him like that. But she will continue and she'll just say, "But if maybe you had any..." Hey Jason, do I have any allies between here and Brightport? Well, let's see here. The problem is, I think they're looking for more of a show of force. And it ain't like Fairbay's got an army. Whitehedge doesn't really have much of a... they got a town guard.

Lockford's in no situation to help anybody. So I don't know if you have any people who could take up arms. That said, Jodzia has an in with House Dragongue, which means she has an intimate understanding of the three houses. At the very least, I feel like she would offer to write to all of the houses to at the very least make sure that the houses don't react to the Paladins of Kord entering the city. Like, at the very least stand down because we're going to take down your common enemy, but maybe potentially she might throw in there that it would be kind of cool if you guys helped out.

Okay, I think that would be a tough pitch. It would be, and she knows that. Right, so... They don't have an intimate relationship with her. No, and essentially what we're saying... like, okay, it sets a dangerous precedent. It's like, hey, I'm going to send my military force into your city and impose martial law or vigilante justice, really. I think what she would make clear is this is justified off the Black Hand. She would probably just let them straight up know there are demons involved. And like, I know she's a threat to all three of the houses, so they are going to leave after the Black Hand is dealt with.

That is my, like, kind of like, that is my vow. They will leave once the Black Hand is dead. Well, I'll tell you what. Yes, write this note. And I would say that this is your... it's like, okay, this is the other thing I can help with, but like... That's the last thing she can help with, basically. Also, she would give them the Seraph because Seraph is the one who could probably get those notes to the right people the best with the smallest chance of the Black Hand finding out. But that said, the Black Hand could find out if she sends these letters. Oh, please let the party have to interact with Seraph.

We're going to have to, right? Yeah, I think so. She's been there the whole time. Do it! She just pops out from the shadows. I know we mentioned not a lot of parties. I heard the door was closed. Right? In between... there's not a whole lot of army... there's not a whole lot of military in between here and Pride Park. And that's kind of what John Zia was thinking. It's like, okay, you guys are telling me pick up armies on the way? There's no armies on the way. Lockford's dead. Are there devout or any smaller temples or anything like that? Probably none with a good relation to court is the problem.

I mean, at this point we could even use individuals who show strong leadership, I think. You know? Like, I don't know. Alex has no idea which type of heroes or adventurers are between here and there. But I'm sure that Jatzia and maybe... no, Tatiana might not because we've been on the same team. But any type of former champions or former adventurers would even be useful too in a commanding situation. Because if you just send the paladins in there with their normal leadership, they might not be used to this kind of combat. Like, urban warfare. It just reminds me of modern warfare.

You're sending a bunch of soldiers into fucking Fallujah, you know? But also, who is running House Dragon's Keep now that everyone thinks Tessia's dead, though? Because wouldn't Jatzia have some claim as the daughter-in-law through Valis? I think it's probably Erolove. So, from what I understand about what's going on with Brightport right now is that Tessia's death is kind of assumed to have happened, but Dragon's Keep hasn't said anything about it. So, as far as anyone knows, no one knows who's running it. Like, the Black Hand could assume it's Erolove, she could assume that it's Gratic, or she could fucking assume it's David, for all she knows.

Because they haven't officially announced who took over. I just didn't know if, like, that, like, to everyone assuming that Tessia's dead, that would give Jatzia an inn to be like, "Hey, we're gonna take care of business for this house." Like, it's not anything to do with an invading forest, it's about... No, I don't think that would work. Just because, like, she would be one of the, like, she's down there, but you'd have to kill a lot of people before that house fell into Jatzia's hands. Yeah. I feel like. Hammer Hands is a bunch of mercenaries, just offer them money and have them help.

Yeah. I'm not gonna dip into our treasury, guys. Well, here's what you are gonna do. Call in Seraph? Yeah. I want you to roll a Persuasion check for this note. What's Jatzia's Persuasion? Uh, plus four. Plus four. Can we help in any way? No, this is all her. So this is for the notes to the houses, like both of them. This is how they're gonna interpret things. Okay. Can I roll different for each house? Wouldn't that be more interesting? You're writing the same note, though, right? But wouldn't it appeal to, like, okay, like, when people read it a different way? It's like texting on the internet.

Some people think something's sarcastic and someone will think it's passive aggressive and then someone will think it's nice. So here's the thing. I know you're doing that because you're thinking of a higher roll. What if you roll lower? Like, what if you get a decent roll, then you roll much lower? Well, then the decent roll would go to one house and the much lower roll would go to another house and at least we'd have one house. Okay, but I get to decide where it goes. What if we called it before I rolled? No. You know what? That's fair because it would also probably relate to how they know Jatzia.

I'll give it to you. Oh, you'll give it to me. Thank you. We're negotiating. We're not, though. I thought Essie left the show. Okay, do me a favor. D20 plus four. Okay, just one. Three, two, one. There are three houses. You're not writing to the house that you're... two. Seventeen. That's not bad. Alright, and... Eighteen. Okay. Miss GrimnusGrace, would you like to join the party? No, that life is behind me. Plus I got shit to do once you guys leave. Two of us have died. We've all been very close. Yeah, your pitch is also really terrible. Okay, seriously, could she call Seraphim at this point?

He'll make his way there soon. Alright, cool. Just checking. She asked for Valis a while ago, but he's probably out and about. I feel like Seraph probably stays closer. It's a big city. Yeah. And Seraph probably also found out a while ago that someone came into the office and the door closed. Just some random kid came up to him and told him. Anyway. Kaldunil also, as all this is happening, if you say we're going to write these letters, Kaldunil will say, "Yes, that's very good. We want to keep casualties in Brightport down to a minimum. We either want to draw out the Black Hand or make it so she cannot escape from where she is.

And she is very comfortable in her home turf. Both Braelon and I have been there. It is difficult to navigate, even for an army. Now, this also might be a long shot, may I grant this grace, but do you know if there are any followers of Vecna in your city? Jadzia would think on that for a minute and narrow her eyes and kind of go through the people she knows and then give a small shake of her head. I'm sure there are many, but as you know, not many followers of Vecna tend to make their worship known. If anyone knew, it would be my friend, Seraph. And then there's a knock on the door and there's Seraph.

And everyone walks to the door and no one comes in. My friend, Seraph. And then Seraph's on the other side of the door like, "line." Anyway, but she would actually, like maybe not in such a goofy way, but she would let you know that Seraph kind of would be the person who knows people's business for the most part. Like he's the one who knows the guy. He's got the tea, sis, is what she's saying. Oh, got it. Yeah, he got the tea. He goes, "yeah, that tea, sis." Okay, then yeah, called him only like, "alright, then we should maybe, well..." She's going to put her hands on the letters that she penned out for the two houses and kind of take a deep breath.

That was fast. Yeah, she's real fast. That was so fast. She writes real fast. Ink drives fast too. And she'll kind of look over the group. From what I understand about the Black Hand, no matter what I do, very soon after receiving these letters, she will know. I was very careful. I did not put dates or times. We don't really know dates or times, so that's easy. But the element of surprise will almost certainly be lost if I send these. I see. Yes, you're likely right. I mean, certainly the element of surprise will be up when the troops of Kord show up at the gates of Brightport.

But giving us the most surprise would be advantageous, which is Tatiana, why I think you're right. We do need to go to the Black Forest to get whatever edge that we can. Okay. How long would it take the paladins to get to Brightport and for us to get to the Blacktip Forest and then to get to Brightport? Oh boy. So the Blacktip Forest is not close. Let's say you guys got horses, which it sounds like you're going to do. By the way, in case you need to know, all that letter says is "By order of the mayor, I owe you one if you do them a favor." They're doing official business.

Please supply them with what they need. I'll take care of that in a minute. Okay. I appreciate it. Got it. There's going to be some dice rolls. Yeah, they need more stuff is what I'm thinking. Yeah, Group B needs more. Yeah, I was just saying this on extended risk. We need to succeed. We should take that letter to the Temple of Kord and get all three of the weapons and just hang them all from one belt. Yeah, I was thinking that and while their armor gets polished, blowjobs all around. That's what I was thinking. I like that. Do we have to roll for those or are we just...

Scale of one to ten. How much teeth? No. Oh, damn. One is too much teeth. So here's what we're going to do. First of all, let me tell you, if you were to haul ass and stop minimally, you could probably get to the Blacktip Forest maybe four days. Like we're talking minimal stops, go, go, go, maybe even a level or two of exhaustion. How long it takes you to find what you're looking for in the forest is up to you. And then to get from the Blacktip Forest to Brightport is probably another three days. This thing better be fucking worth it. Whatever Vecna told us to get.

Oh my God. It's a week. It's the same shit. So then from Esther Holt to Brightport for the paladins. But the paladins would take longer because they're a mobile forest. Yeah, but all they got to do is march from Esther Holt to Brightport. Exactly. They're going to be on the main road. They're going to be so... So... Oh, sorry. No, I mean, you might end up meeting around the same time. Okay, so I picture like all of us standing around a table looking at a map and like figuring out the travel times of like, okay, what are our options here? And Tatiana is going to start sort of like point at this map.

I don't know, whatever. If it's like hand drawn and whatever would work and just say, well, what if we... What if we made sure to meet somewhere in the middle like Aldmoor and then we can go full force from Aldmoor to Brightport? Yes, I think that is a great idea. Oh, I'm sorry, Lark. I didn't mean... I was out of the chat. I was looking at the map. You literally just said what I was typing was fine. Thanks for that, by the way. What about... Now, I know I've asked about this in the past, but it was sort of like, well, we're not in a big city. Is like Scrolls of Teleportation or something an option?

Is that something we might be able to get in Esther Holt? That's pretty high level magic. Your best bet for something like that would be Umenyiro. There are artifacts that offer teleportation, but there's usually... it's not a perfected way to travel. There was one that Group 3 used where it could drop them off 100 feet in the air and break their legs if they're lucky. So it's not a preferred way to go for most people. Well, Cauldron will bring that up. What about teleportation? And he'll say this, "Yeah, I know it's high level magic. I don't know if it's available here in Esther Holt, but... and it's incredibly risky for those that use it.

But if we need to make up lost time and we need to do it swiftly, then... it's a brainstorm. No bad ideas." I feel like Brantley just looks that up and has this look on his face like... The only teleportation I've ever seen or used was when we went up north. Or, no, not north. When I go... T'Lor. T'Lor. Thank you, God. Thank you. Holy Spirit in the sky who manages everything. Yeah, T'Lor. T'Lor was the only... he'll bring it up. He'll be like, "T'Lor was the only place and... I mean, Dagon had to..." He'll mimic Dagon grabbing the gates with his hands to charge it up.

Right. Well, he'll turn to Jadzia. I don't suppose you have a big magic gate and a spare scion, do you? She'll shake her head. Just, nah. Alright. The fastest horse it is, then. But Tatiana, yes. I think you're right. That's exactly what we should do. He's going to turn to Larg and Elena, and he's going to say, "Larg, Elena, you're... well, Larg, you're a paladin, Elena. You are our best fighter. Do you think you would want to go and talk game plan with Julien Una and the Paladins of Kord? Sort of like, fill them in on what we need to do and where they need to go and how we're going to meet up?" Well, while I, you know, kick and fight and hit things, I'm not a strategist.

I've always done this on my own. I don't know how to arrange an army. But you're a pragmatist, and that's the kind of thinking that we need. That's the kind of thinking that Julie will respond to, also. She's very logical and very smart, but she has a way of approaching things. Then I'll try, I guess. Julie also didn't get credit for being at the seal earlier, but Una did. I'm just saying. And she fought. That's Doria her life. And who else was there? I feel like I'm forgetting someone. Nah, never mind. It's not important. Quietly seethes. To be fair, there was a fuck ton of us at the seal, to be fair.

There were a lot of people. Cauldin will also say, "And we need to fill the Paladins of Cordon on our last resort, our sort of secret weapon, if you will, on dealing with the Black Hand." What's that? The spell, good sir. The spell and our bit of information. Wait, what are we talking about? The spell that smells spell-y? The murder spell. The murder spell. Cauldin's murder spell. Oh, Cauldin's murder spell! Oh, that murder spell. I was so confused. I was like, "Damn, I'm really missing stuff, huh?" So, okay, how about we do this? Because it sounds like you guys have a game plan, I guess.

So how's about we do a little something where we roll for horses? How about we do that? Here's what we're going to do. You're going to get six horses. You're just going to have a horse. Oh shit! You get your own horse because this is a progressive city and they view halflings as people. Oh my goodness. Holy shit. I'm going to have to invest. Oh, this is like the San Francisco of cities. I'd be careful. Oh, I'm in. I'm in. Okay. You've got to get in soon, though. Yeah, you've got to. Well, I'm thinking post-apocalyptic prices will be even better. Yeah, well, then maybe you move a little slower.

So here's what we're going to do. I want to have an overall roll to see the basic speed of these horses, right? To see if you're getting top shelf or if you're getting like, I'm not giving these guys my best horses. I'm going to give them horses. But. You don't want to get in trouble with the mayor, but I also hate this. Technically I did the thing you said, but we'll see. Or maybe they're like, oh, the mayor wants a horse. I heard this story from a guy at Lockford. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't get them horses back. No. So that's what we're going to do first is we are going to.

He didn't get them whole. He didn't get them back whole. No. So we're not going to roll individually, but we're going to do one roll. Who'd like to be our first roller? Who'd like to volunteer? You just said you weren't going to do them individually. You're only going to do one roll. Oh, I didn't say that that would be the only roll, though. Oh, okay. I'll do the horses, I guess. All right. So this is just general. Make sure you spin it so it's fun. I was thinking the same thing. So it's fun. So on a scale of one to ten, roll a flat D10 for me. How fast are these horses?

The Ford Fiesta of horses. God damn it. Unless four is good. Is four good? Four is typically good. That's a D plus? No. It's a four. It's, you know, they're not. Still faster than on foot. So here's the part where we're going to start rolling individually. Quality and aesthetically. What are your horses like? And one by one, you're each going to roll a flat D10, starting with larg. I guess I got that coming. I got a seven. A seven. It's a good looking horse. He's a good horse. He's a good horse. He's got a four with his paws. Cali, aesthetically and structurally. A six.

That's pretty good. Calden. Come on, good pony. Eight. Ooh, very nice. Look at all this. The high pony. I'm sensing a new intro. Uh, Tati. On a scale of one to ten. I'm trying to pick it up. Here we go. Okay, a three. A smelly horse. Maybe it's just a stinky horse. Elena. I'm just glad I wasn't the first one to get a bad number. So the pressure's off. Yeah. Seven. Holy moly. And finally, Braylin. You guys ready to see a donkey? There it is. Another three. Alright. Twinsies. The minute you got a three, I was like, me too. I know already. So ours are brother, sister, grandma, cousins.

Yeah, grandma, cousins. They're grandma, cousins. So they're definitely donkeys. Hey, one of my horse's things is smaller than the other three. Last and certainly not least, because I want you to get really attached to these horses. I'm already super attached to my horses. Oh, good. Because the last thing is, all of these horses have names. So what I want to do is I want, okay, each one of you, we're going to go back down the list. You're going to roll two D10s for me. Larg, two D10s, please. That's seven and a four. Seven and a four. Lizard phase. Yes. Like lizard face?

Lizard face. Larg looks suspiciously at his horse. It's the pippin of horses. Are these going to be like track horses? Like we got lizard face, we got lizard face. Santa's little hammock, I'm going to have a drag. Potatoes. Callie, two D10s, please. Oh, wow. You were ready with that. Is my lizard something too? All the ones in the 70s are lizard. Lalia Warpclaw. Wait, what's that? Sorry. Lalia Warpclaw. Oh. Is her horse a claws? It's got a first and last name, a surname. Okay. I have the estra-hole warp claws. Fancy. I'm the estra-hole warp claws. Geez, who's next? Kaladin.

Two D10s, please. 35. Wait, how did you get a 35 on two D10s? You did a percentage dice, so that should be 8. I did a percentage dice. That perplexed me first. Do you want me to do them added up? No, no, no. Just two D10s. Gotcha. I'm sorry, I thought we were doing percentage dice. Oh, no, sorry. Or you can do a three and a five. Woo! Or that two and a three. Hahaha! Oreo Lavender. Oh my god, I love him. At all costs. I like that based on their names is how much you guys love these horses. And their derpy little faces. It's gotta have that black and white splotchiness going on.

Oh god, yes. That's so cute. Alright. I think two horses are named Skittles. *gasp* Best horse. Okay, uh, Tati. Two D10s, please. Wow. Oh boy. Spike Stormcry. Fuck yes! Fuck yes, Spike! That's the best horse. The edgelord horse. He's got his mane coved over one eye. He's like a jet black. Always moody and brooding. Has a leather coat on. The mane is over one side of the face. Over that side. Spiked collar. That's why he's a three is because he doesn't cooperate with anybody. Oh man. You don't have enough badges to train Spike. Uh, Alayna. Two D10s, please. Garglemind. What?

That horse is definitely a wizard in disguise. That horse's eyes point in different directions. Like a chameleon. I wish you would all stop attacking my dog. That's a word. Gargle. That's like a mental disorder in theory. It's like, "Ah, he's got garglemind." Alright. Jeez. Uh, Braelyn. Give me a second. Someone's in my door. Hold on. Oh. It's like, uh... I need to get rid of this cat. To me, it seems like Larg and Alayna were arguing on the way to get the horses, and they named each other's horses. They're mad at each other. Yours looks like a lizard face. Yeah, we should use a gargle face.

Well, yours is a, uh, a garglemind. His lizard face? I'm just gonna call my Leah. Yeah. Oreo, Spike, and garglemind. Gargamel. Yeah, gargamel. So that you don't need a lizard. Oh, yeah, from the Smurfs. I had a rabbit named Oreo. Many moons ago. I had a rabbit named Oreo. Really? Yeah. It peed on me a lot. Oh. Oh my god. Oreo's my safe word. Oh my god, she's not lying. She's told me that before. Oh my god. That's legit. That's a good safe word. That's a good safe word, unless you're incorporating food into the love making. Here's the thing, guys. What she's not telling you is it's not even wholly sexual.

It's also when they annoy each other too much. Sorry about that. I had that with my parents. Yeah. Hey man, whatever works. They needed to tell me to calm down. But I didn't like it when they told me to calm down. So we said tootsie roll. Aww. It's gotta be something sweet, right? To combat all of the saltiness. Hatred. The work. Okay. Uh, Braylin? Yes sir. Two D-10s please. Ooh, come on. Sparklemane. Oh boy, here we go. Oh man, if one of you got Sparklehorse, that'd be great. I don't even think anyone remembers that terrible band. Rumpdropper. Hell yeah. Yeah. Does Braylin's horse twerk? 100% a donkey.

Yeah, I know. As soon as he was like, "Oh, if you go on horse," I was like, "I'm gonna get a donkey in this game." I already know. Run. Remember when we thought Rusty and Dusty were silly names? No. That's the past. I feel like Rumpdropper is a horse that should automatically play some Little John song. I don't know which one. I feel like that's the horse who has to be in the back because he won't stop pooping. Terrible for escaping stealthily. He's got hip dysplasia. That's why they have the smallest one right. Yeah. So it just looks like he's shaking them cakes all the time, but...

He's actually in tremendous pain. He's in horrible pain. Oh no. Oh, my heart hurts for this imaginary horse. That's why he gave them names, you guys. He'll make some nice glue after this. After this, halfway through this. I think you guys have killed enough for animals for a while. Let's try to keep these ones alive. These ones are gonna live. These ones are gonna live. Yeah. I'm gonna ride Oreo Lavender into Blackport, and I'm gonna kiss him on his nose. We're gonna return out of the Blacktip Forest with only gargle milk. So to remind everybody, Larg is going to be riding Lizardface.

Callie has Lalia Warpclaw. Kaldin has Oreo Lavender. Tati has Spike Stormcry. Alena has Garglemind. And finally, Brelin bringing up the rear with Rumpdropper. They got the rest of the horse. They did. On a Spike is pretty cool. You should get him a spiked collar. It just sounds like a booty poppin' anthem, like it's so... Yeah! You're done with the political discussion. You're done talking to Jadzia. And you... I mean, you have the run of Esterhold. Not to do whatever... Don't kill anyone, but I mean, you guys... You've never done that kind of stuff. Come on. No! Well, okay, here's the thing.

Old group one? Come on. That's very old group one, but every time you guys get kicked around, I'm worried that you're just gonna start kicking back against the world. So like, I'm worried you're gonna walk into town. It's like, if we kill everyone before they can kill us, then... That's a very joke. Then our luck turns around. Exactly. Yeah, it's a very joke way to look at the problem. I don't think you have to worry about that. But I mean, the last time you guys were in a town, one of you was beaten up and jumped off of a balcony to save face. So I mean...

Yeah, because they came at us. Yeah, and that was awesome. So Dan's justified the means. Yes, that is true. You also ran over a child. Well, the donkeys ran over a child. I was dead at the time. That's true. I think. That's your alibi. That's it. And I was high, so that's... And I was technically a different me, so like... This all holds up in court. Yeah, and I think this all loops back to when you guys were talking to Una. It sounds like you are all insane if you really break out everything in a literal sense. But you guys have free run all over Esterholt. And it sounded like you guys wanted to split up, get a couple of things done.

Maybe you've got these lovely horses, including but not limited to Rumpdropper. The best of them. Yeah, the hero you need. I imagine some shopping is... So this is a weird thing, but we don't usually talk about this aesthetically. Is there anything you guys want to get done? Maybe visit the barber? You want to pick up some new duds? Is there anything you guys care about that you can only do in town, I guess? I'm gonna... Oh, go ahead. I was just gonna say, I need to buy arrows and bolts. Okay. Because I have realized that my crossbow has three bolts left. Oh, yeah.

Okay, sweet, sweet. Oh, wow, yeah, it's been a while. I think I've only used it seven times in one episode. It was against the Klykors way back in the day. Maybe against something else, but yeah, I ran out. I'm gonna run out. I think I need to get a new hunting knife because I gave mine away. Yeah, I wanted to get a new weapon too. Okay. You can totally do it. Colin's gonna give the doracha venom to Tatiana and be like, "I don't know how to get this sold, but something tells me that you will." See if you can find a good price for it and I'm on the lookout for something that some kind of item magically imbued that can help me understand magic a little bit better.

Like the arcane, the actual learning of it. So if you see anything like that and it's within our price range, please, please find it. Please get it. She'll pocket the venom and say, "I'll see what I can do. I'm not one who really knows magic, so if anybody else wanted to try and help me out with that one..." And specifically, I'm looking for a headband of intellect. Like if there's something like that. I don't know what form that takes in. Walmart's not gonna have that, so we're gonna need a different one. There's some... you're in a good city for that type of stuff because there's some higher end shops here, so it's not like you guys stopped in Durnhollow or something.

So let's do this. Excellent. Okay. So let's start with the little stuff. Who needs crossbow bolts? Who needs arrows? Brailin needs both of those. And Tatyana needs arrows. Okay, so I'm gonna slide both of these into your inventory. Take out two gold, please. Oh! Gee, not bad. It's plentiful here. You're good. And Tatyana... arrows. Anybody else? Well, I need some crossbow bolts, but I don't want to pay for them, so... Wow. Oh boy. Holy shit. It's too gold. It's a gold. You're not even getting both. You're just getting arrows. Like it's just... or crossbow bolts. Yeah, crossbow bolts.

Yeah, it's one gold. Yeah, but for four? For twenty. That's twenty-five cents a bolt. It's twenty. How many did I get? You got twenty of each. No, crossbow says ammo ten, and then vicious sword pro, ammo twenty. Hold on. Yeah, but I don't think I... I'm looking at your... Oh, this is Selena. Sorry. That's why I didn't see them. Yeah, man, you're good. I'm looking at them. How come my action sheet is just crossbow hand? You have to up the amount, so like, okay, look. You have a total of twenty crossbow bolts. No, thirty. And then you have twenty arrows. I see the twenty arrows, I don't see the...

I can do it manually? I can just tap them over? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thirty. Boom. Oh, so many circles. There you go. How many arrows did I buy? Sorry. They come in bundles of twenty. Perfect. Wonderful. Yeah, because if you buy them by the arrow, it's like buying one nectarine. It's like, just buy a fucking pound. Like, it becomes... No. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Okay, so if I buy twenty, that means I'll have thirty-six? Yes. Okay. Then I'll do that. Is that worth a gold to you? I know, but like, everyone else is like, topping off, so I feel pressured too. Yeah, peer pressure.

You never know when you're gonna need it. Yeah, man. Yeah, it's true. It's kinda like having a mouse set up on your computer. Yeah, hold on. Boop. So, so we'll just shazam, boom. Now you got forty of them. Shazam. You'll never use that many. Yeah. I've used ten from all of ARK-B. Yeah. Are you gonna take out one gold, or should I? Take it out. You got it. I trust you. Though after what you said, maybe I shouldn't, but I just... Joke's on you. I added one gold. And then I have some other, like, markety things, but did you wanna just go... Give me, yeah, give me your shopping lists, guys.

Okay, well, I've got things that I wanna sell and shop for, so would you prefer shopping list first? Let's do the selling first, 'cause that'll decide how much money you got to play with. Well, I have this Durocha Venom. Okay. I have twelve precious gems that are a hundred gold apiece. Mm-hmm. To the right buyer. Let's see if you got it. To the right buyer. To the right buyer. And a gem-studded robe I would love somebody to take a look at. Oh, the Ric Flair robe! Mm-hmm. Oh, yes. Holy shit. Okay, so... The plague robe. Okay. So, let's see. How much is the Bella Vecna worth?

I mean, I know a cult. Yeah, I know a cult in town. Cut to Larg trading it for a sandwich. Yeah. I'm all out of gold. Guess I'll just... I've got this old thing we're not gonna use. Doesn't work very good. Yeah. Don't ring it. Wait, did we never talk to Una's dad? Oh, yeah. We were gonna talk to Seraph for something. I forget. Yeah, you're right. Well, to know if he knew any Vecna followers. Yes! Yes, yes, yes. 'Cause you said there were some people in town. I'm like, "Really?" That's right, 'cause we were all waiting for Seraph to show up and never show up. No, that's kind of him.

All right, so let's run down this. So, you have 12 of those lovely gemstones. You have the Ric Flair robe. You have the D'araggio venom. Now, what I'd like you to do is give me a persuasion check or a raw charisma check, whatever you're feeling better at. Check this you and my persuasion. Oh, okay. Wait, I'm a rogue. Right. I forgot where I was for a second here. Here we go. I'm gonna try to persuade. Oh, that was almost a three. 19 is way... I mean... Yeah, so 25. Guess what? You're gonna make out like gangbusters. There's a guy named Yost. I'm a great fence. You are!

So, Yost is in the market for some different stuff. And he will buy all of your goods. With a 25? Hell yeah, he'll buy all your goods. The coat or the rope. He can give you 700 gold. See, I want to figure out what it is before I just hand it over. See, that'll cost you. He's offering to buy it off of you, right off the bat. He's like, "Oh, this is beautiful. 700 gold." Oh, so he's obviously interested in this coat over all of my other wares. That's interesting. I think Todtiana would probably pull back if that were the case. And I'm gonna keep it. I'll sell everything else.

I'm gonna actually take this Yost and see if there's anybody in town who might be able to identify its origin. Okay. That's fine. That's fine. So, let's talk about gemstones. I think you'd get 90% of their value from Yost. He would buy each one of these for 90 gold a pop. Deal. Okay. And finally, the venom. This happens to be a rare venom. Shh. I know you're excited. What it does is it makes cats. He's gonna offer you 250 gold for this single dose of doracha venom. Deal. And Todtiana would ask as well about any sort of arcane learning merchandise that Yost may have.

Hmm. Just caring. Yeah, give me a flat d20. Let's see what he would have. Jesus, that's lucky. Hot hands. On fire. 18. You know, as luck would have it, crazy enough, he would have a headband of intellect. He would actually have--so if you picture Yost's shop, there's a lot of glass cases full of shiny, wonderful, rare items. Yeah. Like, you could go hog wild in here. An adventurer could have a field day. How much does he want for this band of intellect? Take it, Stormy. Stormy's like, "No, no!" It's the second I jump to a Skype call, he starts getting so jealous.

Sorry. Yost has a cat. A gnome. A gnome. Sorry. A needy cat. It's a very needy cat. The kind of cat who likes to sleep in your toilet paper. That seems so specific. It's pretty specific. It's very specific. Give me one d4. You're hoping for low numbers. 200 gold. Five of them. Tatiana, how much more that you said 200? Yep. I'll give you 150 for it, Yost. Wow. Give me a persuasion check. If you get a 15 or higher, deal. I mean, I just did two pretty good rolls, I don't know, yeah. Ten! Okay. And he's gonna say 250. Yeah, I'm gonna pass. Okay. Totally fine. Totally fine. Now, let's talk about...

Let's... Is there anything else that you would be after? Like, you're perusing, you're looking around, are you looking for new weapons? Yeah, so like the last... Yeah, so like the last three enemies we fought, all of my piercing damage didn't do anything. And that sucked, so Tatiana is looking for something else. Okay. Like a blunt weapon or... See, I'm not sure if there's even... if there would be anything that she could still use. If there like maybe are different types of arrows that would do something like fancy arrows. Let me hook you up. So. Yoast would have a host of different arrows.

Now, they're not cheap for the most part. It's a little pricier because, you know, they're specialty items. But he has flame arrows and lightning arrows. He has a walloping arrow, which essentially can knock creatures prone. Ooh. You can also just get arrows that are +1, +2, +3, that type of thing. And if you really want to dispense some cash, you can get something called an arrow of slaying. Which are arrows that are imbued with magic. And essentially, you can pick a type of creature or a race or something. And you do way more damage to that particular type of creature or race.

So like, let's say if you were a racist and you said, "You know what? I hate drow." You could say... you know, you can imbue it that's like fucking drow. So every time you hit a drow, the creature has to make a constitution save. If they fail, they take 6d10 extra damage. Ooh. Wow. These arrows are not cheap. How much are they? I'm basing your buying potential off of your original persuasion check, and you're selling potential off of that 10. So it's... Okay. So... For each arrow, these would probably run you about three grand. Oh my god! Oh my god. Get the fuck out of here, ghost!

Well, I'll say this. Let's say you said, "Human." And let's say you were attacking the Black Hand. Yos doesn't know that. No he doesn't! I know that! And I'm just saying. Yeah, but see, Yos, there's always the chance that you know, "I spend three grand on this arrow and then miss." So... And Yos would say, "That sounds like a you for a while. You need to go to the range." You know what? I'm not appreciating the customer service here, Yos. I brought in all of these wonderful wares for you to be able to provide the people of this city. I think I'm going to take my business elsewhere.

And Tatiana is going to get up from the counter and she is going to leave. Ooh. Give me an intimidation check. Unless you're bluffing. Oh no, I'm not bluffing. Okay, that sounds pretty... Okay, so 13. Yost... Yost is going to say, "Okay, hold on, hold on. Let's talk about this. Perhaps there's some less expensive wares I can show you." Uh, Tatiana with like one foot out the door. Oh, trust me. I can afford it and she is going to still leave. Ah! That's so... Fig mistake. Here you go. ♪ Walking down the street ♪ Ah! But you sold your stuff. Right. I got some money.

Okay, you're walking away with 1330 gold. ♪ Tatiana, my best friend, remember? ♪ ♪ I was on my own time ♪ Well, what about everybody else here? Like, what's the plan? What is everyone doing? I was going to say on your last day of Earth, it's like, that's not true. Like, what's everyone doing while you're in town? Like, you're getting ready to leave and go on a journey. Larg would not have gone shopping. He actually would have broken away to go up to the orphanage. Oh. He gave all his money away to rent the room anyway, so... Oh, that's fair. That's fair. Any particular reason or just kind of old stomping grounds type of thing?

Kind of old stomping grounds thing, I guess. Okay. He'd probably do that thing for a while, maybe an hour, I don't know, where he would, like, hang around outside and not want to knock on the door. Because if he knocks on the door, then he has to talk to somebody. Fair. But he's kind of just watching for a little while, just kind of trying not to be creepy, but he's a 6'6" undead half-orc hanging outside of an orphanage. And he's very aware of that, so he's alternately really kind of curious and then kind of embarrassed and then curious again. But eventually, he will work up the courage to knock on the door.

And a gentleman is going to open the door. Can I help you? I know there was a headmistress of this place or whatever, but was there a specific teacher or caretaker or something that he was familiar with while he was there? That would probably be Harley Kirk. That would be? Okay. Yeah. So he'd be looking down. He wouldn't make eye contact with this guy when he opens the door. And he would go, "Oh, yeah, I was just wondering if Harley was here." "Oh, yes. Do you want me to take you to her?" "Um... Oh, yeah. Yeah, please. That'd be okay." And he's a little put off.

One, I feel like Lark's a bit of an intimidating figure, especially now that he's all sepia-toned. He's in a black and white movie. Yeah, he's very noir right now. But yeah, he would lead you to... there'd be an office here. Are you... Okay. Are you still wearing the helmet and everything? No, he's got the helmet off. He thought about wearing it, but he's got it off. He's got it tucked under his arm. Okay. Okay. So this gentleman is going to knock on Harley's door and she'll say, "Come in." And he's going to open it and just kind of gesture. It's like, "Here you go." And maybe stick around for just a minute.

It's like, "What exactly do you want?" It's kind of weird. Yeah, he'll wait for a minute and like, "Oh, you're not going to go in? Okay." And then he'll kind of... He'll like shoulder his way through the doorway because he's probably as wide as it. And he'll kind of... Again, he's not making eye contact right away, but he'll just be like, "Hey, hi." So it's been a while. Yeah. And I think based on your recent changes in Aladdin, it would probably take her a bit. Like she'd be like, you know that, okay, that deer in the headlights look that people get when it's like, "Hi, how are you?" It's like, "Oh my God, I don't remember your name." Like it's that it's like, "Did I work with you?

Did we go to school? Shit." Like it's that thing. So you're going to see her process that like... "Can I help you?" "Yeah, it's Larg. Hi." And she's going to do that... Go ahead. It was just like if she's... He'll kind of jump on it too and be like, "You probably don't remember this. Okay." No! And there'd be this moment of recognition where her eyes just kind of pop open. It's like, "Oh my God, Larg?" Yeah. You know, just in town, I didn't really expect to be, but I thought it might be a... I might want to come by. If you're busy, that's okay. I can go. She would definitely jump up from her desk and race over and pull Larg in for a hug.

She'd probably... Geez, she'd probably only come up to like chest hug Larg. Yeah, he'd be actually really surprised by that. And then he'd eventually like give her kind of a light hug back. I mean, it still hasn't really made eye contact with her or anything, but he's just like... Just because of the way I left last time, I wanted to just come back and say hi because I didn't really get to say goodbye last time. So I felt really bad about that. Of course, please sit down. We were all concerned. We didn't know what happened. Are you in contact with your brother?

Tell me everything about yourself. It looks like you've got no son. Well, yeah, it's a really long story. We probably don't have time. I'm sure you're busy. But yeah, I haven't really seen Hoog since we left. But I'm a paladin now and he'll kind of like jingle his holy symbol. So, you know, I felt bad about kind of the way that me and Hoog were when we were here. And after I didn't see him anymore, I decided to try to be a little bit better because I know it wasn't really nice when I was here. And I'm doing okay. I thought I was doing okay pretty good for a little while, but it's hard.

It is so nice to see you again. What? What city are you a paladin for? Well, that's that's hard to say. Dawnhurst, I guess. I don't know if you've heard that. Yeah. She's gonna she's gonna hold a hand up to her. I am so sorry. I I hurt for the town criers a couple of weeks ago that that's an awful, awful bit of business up there. Well, good news is we me and my friends, we got rid of all the demons and the horrifying flesh monsters. That was that was us. But then we had some gang took over and we had to we had to leave. But, you know, hopefully they can come back someday.

You know, I don't I don't want to I don't want to waste your time. I just want to let you know that I was you know, I'm trying to I'm trying to be a lot better. And I'm really sorry for, you know, everything from before. Well, we believe it or not, have more than a few children who suffered through growing pains here. It's it's a lot more common than you think. And I'm really glad to see that you've turned out okay. You're you're relatively safe. Well, you'll kind of chuckle and be like, Oh, well, it's been it's been a hard road. But, you know, I made some good friends.

And they've been they've been really nice. And it's really made me think about things a lot. So, you know, I didn't know if I was going to be able to come back to Astraholt anytime soon. So I thought I'd this would be a good time to come say hi, you know, there's gonna be a look of like, Oh, I almost forgot that this like she's kind of this is so out of the blue. And she's going to she's kind of she was sitting on the side of her desk and she's going to spring up and run to one of the drawers. In in her top drawer, she's going to rifle through some things.

And she's going to produce a letter that is that is sealed. And she's then going to take off this bracelet she's wearing. And she's gonna say, this may seem silly to you, but I want you to have this. It's it's something I considered a bit of a good luck charm. And I don't know how you're going to interpret this. But again, kids here have a hard time. They are usually orphaned. And it can take a while to find your footing. I assume you remember when you and who fought? Yeah, I mean, which time? Yeah, I remember. Well, I'm not sure whose tooth This is, but I took it and bronzed it.

And it's been a charm on this neck. This this bracelet for a long time. And I want you to have it. He'll kind of he'll like, be surprised and then kind of touched and then surprised again and then confused. And he'll, he'll look at it and he'll kind of hold his hand out to take it and look at it. And yeah, this is probably my tooth. But thank you for my for my tooth. Again, I, I know it might seem strange, but I don't necessarily look at these fights as much as we want to stop them. It's nothing that can't be recovered from. And I think a lot of the kids when they grow up, they look back on moments like that.

And they see how much they've changed, usually for the better. I thought it might be a nice reminder. He'll kind of just move it around in his hand kind of like almost like a like a prayer beads or something like that kind of just move it around and just be like, Yeah. I like that. That's nice. Thank you. I didn't, I didn't know you kept that. He'll kind of also be like, he'll turn his attention after a minute from that and it kind of be curiously looking at the letter in her hand to We received that about four years ago, and it was addressed to you and we didn't really know what to do with that.

So I've just kept it my desk. I'm not a forward in a dress. No. Yeah. That makes sense. And he'll just kind of like, he doesn't want to ask for it, but he's kind of just looking at it. Yeah, she'll, she'll hand it over if like, yeah, the necklace that the bracelet was more significant to her, but it's like, Yeah, take your mail like this. Yeah. And he'll, he'll like take a gauntlet off and like slide the bracelet on and it's probably like tight, really super tight on him, but he'll put the, but he'll take it and then he'll look at the letter. Is there any like mark on the outside of it or?

Just, just that it's addressed to you. But the handwriting is a little, it's not elegant. Yeah, open it up. So some of the spelling is off and it's, it looks like someone was gripping a writing implement with their fist and wrote it like a caveman. Like it's, there are points on this, this parchment where it almost the quill almost pressed to the other side of it. Like it's, it's digging into it almost. Okay. Essentially, this is an invitation to come up north and it's written by who? North. Specifically near the hazel on mountains. And again, this is from four years ago, but.

It's, it's, it's a strange letter in that it's very, it's almost openly antagonistic. But it is inviting you to join a group that Hoog is a part of. But it's also carefully worded. It's like, oh, and if that doesn't sound good, fuck you. We can finish what we started and we'll fight. Like it's, it's, it's come to the haze on mountains. If you want an ass kicking is kind of it's like 50 50. It's like, look, I have this stunning job opportunity or I'll fuck you up. Like it's just, it's very bitch. Yeah. Right. It's okay. Imagine that frat bro you went to school with also sold like fucking Lula row pants.

Like it's, it's very weird. It's like, I got a stunning business opportunity. You fuck like. It's weird. So, so he's, he's, he's, he's not, this isn't like, Hey, bygones would be bygones and that kind of stuff. This is like, I think the door is open for that. Okay. But again, it's also like it's, it could turn on a dime. I think is how I would read it, but it's still four years old. So who knows? Exactly. Who knows? He could have gotten better or worse. Maybe he looks at it like you rejected his offer or maybe like, I don't know. Okay. So he'll read it and he'll kind of look, he'll kind of look at it for a minute after he's done reading it and he'll look at her and be like, this is who I didn't know he could write.

Um, well, thanks for keeping it. I didn't know. I didn't know where he was. Um, maybe he's still there. Did you read this out loud? I don't think he would have read it out loud. Okay. Well, I hope you two make up. I kind of glanced out of the letter. Yeah. I don't know about that. Maybe. Hopefully. Um, he'll fold it up and we'll put it in like a pouch or something like that. Thank you. You know, you didn't, you didn't have to keep any of that stuff with when we, when we ran away. Um, but thank you. Lark, we all make mistakes when we're younger. All of us. There's always going to be something you look back on and aren't terribly proud of.

And that's just part of growing up. Trust me, every one of the kids here have done something that they're going to be ashamed of in 10 or 15 years. I feel like he'll finally like make eye contact with her and make it really obvious. You know, I'm sure it's been pretty obvious this whole time that he's what he is, but she'll find he'll finally like be able to look at her. Well, me and my friends were going, we're going to go do the best we can. And if we make it, maybe I'll come back and I'll stay for longer and maybe talk to some of those kids. I think they'd really like that.

Before you go. I was just about to serve these to the kids and I think your friends, how many of them are there? He'll count on his fingers. There's five. Yeah, five. So she is going to grab six of these huge cookies. And she's gonna kind of bundle them up and wrap them up and hand them over to Lark. Wherever you're going. I wish you the best of luck and come back anytime. Okay. Yeah. Hey, I'm just curious. I'm sure there's still a bunch of them. Bunch of like half-orc kids here. Are there any here that are kind of, you can kind of like roll his eyes a little bit, but you know, like we were.

Well, it can be tough for half-orc children because they're trying to find their way. They're not always as accepted as we'd like them to be. Some of the Drow children too. It can be tough. But I feel like this is the best city to raise kids like that. I mean, I would have hated to see an institution like this in Overwatch. He'll kind of nod and be like, "Yeah." Well, if there's one that you think could use the help, kind of like I did. He'll take out his prayer book, his old dog-eared Arathis prayer book and be like, "Why don't you give him this?" And see if it helps.

I will. Okay. I should probably go. I don't know where everybody else is, but thanks for seeing me and thanks for all this stuff. She's going to give you this really warm smile. The kind of smile where you can tell someone's thinking. Thinking a lot, but not saying a lot necessarily. Mm-hmm. Good luck, Clark. Thanks. He'll turn and leave, but then he'll go back for a hug and then he'll leave. Aww. I like that you did a real dog, the bounty hunter thing where it's like, "Oh, these troubled kids, they need God. That's what they need." I'm going to kill you. That will set them straight.

Yeah. Can we all meet? I'm just throwing this out here. Can we all meet? There was a place that Larg had talked about, like a food stall or something in Esterhold. Can we all meet there? Sure. So the typical Dragon Con lets meet at the food court. Gotcha. Yeah, so there'd probably be... I feel like there's one of those food carts that made meat pies or something like that that he's probably a regular at. So he would have pointed it out to them as they walked by at some point in the last day or so. What would you recommend? Which kind of meat? Oh, they're just meat.

Oh, I see. Yes. I see now they just have the one. Yeah. And there's dipping sauce. Is there stuff like M-E-E-T? It's the different dipping sauces I see that you have choices of. Okay, well, which dipping sauce goes best with this? The brown one. Okay. That was a good one. One meat and one brown. Oh my god. Yes. Okay, so here's what we're going to do. Now, this might be a real acquired taste. Like, okay, do you ever... Okay, in big cities, there's always that hole in the wall. It's like, "Oh, they make the best burgers." And then you go into the joint and it's like, "I'm not eating a fucking thing from here." Have you seen how filthy everything is?

It's got a C-ring in it. Yeah, exactly. Like, you have a one in three chance of getting food poisoning. But here's what I want you to do. #worthit I want you to roll a 1D10. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much is this is like an acquired taste? Is there anybody? No, no, no. No, no, no. Calton. Oh, Calton. Oh, okay. For how many of these pies? Shouldn't that be Larg? This is like Larg's place to go, right? Well, we know Larg likes them. Oh, okay. Fair enough. All right, here we go. Oh, three. Oh, that's good. So there's a backwards E in the word "meat." Now let's roll for the sauces.

Yes. Please give me a D10. Maybe the sauces save it. Oh, no. That's a one. Oh, you got the dark brown sauce. Oh, no. I got brown spelled with the backwards R and not the forwards R. I like to think, like, Larg slaps it out of your hand, it burns a hole in the cobblestone. It's just fucking... And finally... I was eating that. It's cold, but you dip your meat into it and it sizzles somehow. So finally, from a health standpoint, give me a flat D10. The lower the number, the worse off. You're due for a high one. Oh, like where my tummy is? Is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah.

Nine. Okay. That's that constitution, baby. Yeah, you're good. You're fine. Yeah, no, that was... But it is not a pleasant experience. Like, if you... Okay. So when they say meat, this is not like a boar or a deer or a cow. This is like a possum or a rat or like something like... Okay, there's a line from The Simpsons. It's gaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a line from The Simpsons where they're trying to guess what's in the crusty McRib thing. And they're guessing animals and he's like, "No, no, no. Think smaller and more legs." Like, there's no... So learn watching you eat it like you're eating...

You know when you introduce somebody to your favorite food, he's like watching you eat it, right? Yeah. Yeah, and Cauldron like takes a bite... Cauldron like takes... He like dips it in. He takes a bite and it's like freeze and then like slow chew, slow chew and then like swallow like... And then like sets it down and looks at Larg and says, "It's real good, Larg. It's real, real good." That's good. And he just kind of like had this big smile. Like, "Okay, good." And then like... He doesn't like this anymore so it's good to know. Do you ever eat something and the second you take a bite you're like, "Oh, this was a mistake." And it seems to take up more space in your mouth than any food ever has.

And you could feel it spreading out taste-wise to stain the inside of your mouth. Like it's like, "I'm going to taste this forever." Yeah, you're just trying to swallow it fast. Yeah, no. This is... It's in between your teeth. It's... There's like a film over your tongue. It's... Oh, and that sauce? It's making me hungry. I look over to Breland and I'm like, "You want a bite, buddy?" "Ah, no, I'll pass. Thank you." Okay, Kelly? Is there a non-meat option? Oh, they got you covered. Don't worry about it. So... Okay, because Kelly wants to be polite because Larg recommended it, but she's not going to eat this meat.

Right, she wants the non-dairy version. I want the gluten-free vegan... Right, so here's what they offer. They have a wrap, so they got it all wrapped up. And the main ingredient is "cabbage" with quotation marks around it. What? Why is it just not cabbage? Could you do me a favor? Yeah? Give me a flat T10. I'm afraid. I'm so afraid. That's a two. So, okay. Kelly's going to take a bite of this. And... It's... One... Warm leaf? That seems to... like, it's... it just... like, okay. It's almost like... Okay, do you know you bite into a bad onion ring? And off the bat, it's like, "You did not cook this long enough." It's crunchy, like, the onion itself snaps off, and then the whole onion comes out.

It's like that, but with quote-unquote "cabbage." And it's got... you're gonna bite in, and you hear a crunch. Now, here's the peculiar part. It squishes in your mouth. So, that crunch seems to come from nowhere. And it's... it's warm. It's room temperature. And you're gonna pull back on it. And the wrap... isn't like a tortilla. It's more like... a yoga mat? And... This... this whole leaf... is kind of... there's spots of brown on it and stuff, and it's gonna all slide out of the wrap. And kind of smack Callie on the chin. Oh, okay. There's a... there's a sauce... that... is of indeterminate origin.

It is... a pale... yellow? And it doesn't taste like a... like a mustard or a honey. It tastes like... a basement smells? So bad. The crunch is the flavor crystals. So like, when it does that, they're gonna like... You got lucky. There's a lot of them in there. I'm definitely getting, like, a visual of this food vendor, too. He's wiping his nose a lot. But like with his whole arm, just like... No... So like, you know when you're like eating like, you know, like good food? And... like a burger or something, and there's like grease or whatever that like, kind of like, falls down?

And you like, push your whole, like, your body back, and you like, hold the food out so it doesn't like, get on your clothes? Exactly. She's gonna do a motion like that, but accidentally drop everything on the ground. Oh, no. Oh, jeez. I'm... oh. That's okay. Oh, five second rule. Callie, no, pick it up. It's fine. It's good. Does anyone have... Oh, shoot. Now it's on my shoe. Does anyone have prestidigitation? It should be fine. It crawls away. It crawls away. The letter starts flapping. Honestly, that would probably make it better. You want us to get you another one, Callie?

Oh, you know what? Actually, I had a really big breakfast. It's okay. So this vendor is gonna call out to everyone. Any of yous want dessert? Wait. Oh, the dessert's really good. You should get it. And look at Elena. Okay. Get one for ev... well, I'll take a bite. Wait, the meat? The dessert. The dessert is some kind of meat. It's just other meat. I'll have dessert. Alright, one dessert. I call it sweet cream. Dessert. Dessert. That's how it's spelled phonetically. Dessert. Yep. Dessert. Yep. So it's called sweet cream. And... Stop. Stop it. It sounds so good, but with everything else, I just...

You know, here's the thing. Elena's gonna get ready and roll a flat D10. Maybe it's bangin'. Like, maybe it's amazing. Maybe that's what's keeping this dude afloat. He just doesn't know. God, I hope so. I quit. I'm done. I'm so ten. These... these cold leaps. So, holy shit. So, okay. This guy's in the wrong business. He needs to be baking. Alright, so it's for the table, right? Please. Alright, I'm gonna go. Please. Alright, I'm gonna get you clean spoons. And, uh... Is there an option for not clean spoons? So he's gonna... We haven't needed spoons. That's true. You don't need a spoon for your cabbage.

So, he's gonna... what he's gonna do is bring you this... ...trough... ...of cool... ...almost like a confectionery/pudding thing? It's got like a mild crust. Like almost a graham crackery crust. And then when you plunge your spoon into it, there's this... ...weird brown stuff. And then beyond that, some pale orange stuff. Like tiramisu? Kinda, yeah. I made that up. I don't exactly know what tiramisu is. Well, it's more like a creme brulee, if you wanted to. But, alright. Use and joy. Oh. Oh, this. This is good. This, this... Oh my goodness. This is the one. This is the first thing that he's served you that smells good?

Like not just like, "Hey, that smells like food." It's like, "Wait. That smells good. Like, that's pretty." This guy should just be serving this. This and nothing else. So, this brown stuff... You've never seen anything like it before. It's essentially chocolate. It's real! Oh my god! This guy... ...accidentally invented chocolate. Dude, Jasper's gonna be pissed! So mad. I'm so proud of him. Can his name be Bart? He sounds like a Bart. Wait, he could be Bart. Bart. Bart's meat. Bart's meat and cream. Bart's meat and cream. Well, it's so... Bart's meat and cream. Meat and cream.

Affectionately, the locals do give directions. Like, "Oh, it's next to Bart's cart." And like, that's... Aw, so cute. And it's like, "Don't eat anything but desserts." I don't know what he's putting in here, but he should be arrested. This is addictive. This is so good. Lark's just watching everybody else. He can't eat, so... I mean, you can! Yeah, it's like, either. It doesn't satisfy, right? Like, we can eat, but we just don't feel full. Yeah, it's fine. Aw, do they look sad? No, Lark's thrilled. He's like, "You're good, right?" I feel like Lark just forgot that the meat was bad, and he just remembers the dessert.

And then just thought that it was the whole thing. There's a 50/50 chance that's true. This would only remember dessert. Bart, what do you call this? I've just been calling it "sweet cream." The whole thing? Or what's this... What are these bits here? What's this brown stuff? Oh, that's the brown part. That's fantastic. You should come up with a catchy name for it. Marketing. No, I think the brown part. That kind of summarizes... I mean, that's right there on the tin. The brown part. Hey, you think this would catch on in other towns? Oh, absolutely. It's pretty good.

Absolutely. I mean, eat Bart's brown part. That just has... It's just got... It's got something to it, you know? That's just a... I'm just spitballing. Well... I have been thinking about expanding. But I'm no good at marketing. Okay, let me spitball with you. Alright, it mixes in and kind of changes the color of stuff. How about food stain? No, Bart. Come on, dig a little deeper there, bud. There are no bad ideas, Braylin. I'm just brainstorming. Alright, alright, alright. Sewer snack. Oh... It could be like a themed thing, you know? We could... It comes in like a little trough, and there'd be like a drain over top of it.

And then we reveal what's in when we take the drain off. You know, that's actually not bad. I mean, people go crazy for that novelty stuff, am I right? Like, it's gross out at first, but it tastes amazing. And... Okay, anyone else? Anyone else? I think I feel like we're circling it. Hey... You, the one who had some of the cabbage. This is kind of new. The dessert part of it. I'm nailing everything else, but the dessert, I feel like it needs a tweak or a change. It's just... I don't know. I'm sorry, what was the question? He's thinking about changing the dessert, because he's really confident in all his other hot foods.

What? What world do you live in, Bart? This is your money maker right here. Flavortown. Kelly's gonna look up and she's like, "The spice ain't... Oh, I had a big breakfast." She's just got like this food all over, outside of her mouth, because she's just like, "This is really good." She'll be like, "I don't think you should change this at all. This is great." Alright, alright, alright. You know what? It's fine as is. I just need a catchy name, and I might franchise a little. That's good. Yeah, that's all you need. You're halfway there. You got the thing people want.

A catchy name. Get your catchy name. You know, we're gonna be in town for one more day. We'll be back. And we're here to help. We can bounce ideas off of, anything like that. We want this to be big for you, Bart. We really do. Hey Bart, can I actually ask you a question? Oh, of course. What is the brown part made of? I hope it's not from the sewer. No, no, that's... That's the favorite fear when you said the sewer thing. No, no, that's just a cutesy name. It's actually, I found these beans, and I mixed them up with the blendings, leavings, from when I was making the cabbage.

And it actually bonded together really well. Again, kind of changes the color. The other food, not so appetizing. You know, brown is not necessarily the color of good food, but it tastes good, you know? That it does. That it does. Larg sits up straight like he has an idea, and he looks at Bart, and he goes, "Bean leavings." I like it. It's got a... It doesn't put on airs. It is what it is, you know? He's doing that slow nod, like he just had an absolute epiphany. Look, you people are absolute angels for helping me out with this and trying something new. I'm gonna wrap you up some food to go on the house, and you just take it with you and eat it for dinner later or something.

How about more dessert? Yeah, how about the other one? Dessert would be good. You got it. He was gonna point to Kelly and say, "I know you like the cabbage. I'll get you another one of those, don't you worry." That one dropped. I'll get you another good one. That one crawled away. So good! Rose and Smile just there on her face. Larg, thank you so much for taking us here. This was special. This was really good. He's super proud, and he's beaming. You're gonna hear a voice approach you. It's approaching Larg and Kaldin from behind, but everyone else is going to be able to see this person approach.

Well, well. I hope we're all having a good time today. And the people who can see this person would recognize him as Vincent Delorme. Oh my god. Oh no. Wow, he came very far. He was coming here. This is where he was headed, right? Eventually, yeah. There was a lot of attitude in that. Well, you did send him on a wild goose chase upriver. I thought I sent a message. Did we send a message or something to him? Or no? He caught back up with us and then we told him the truth. Yeah, okay. So, I mean, absolved. All sins absolved. Anyways. Vincent Delorme is the one looking for the person, right?

Yes. With the dragon egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I feel like fate is pushing us together. Like, we're meant to be us and Vincent. Vincent, you look well. And he'll give a little bit of a bow. Thank you. You're looking... Smashing. What brings you to Asterhold, if I may ask? I don't want to tell him shit. We all just, like, eye each other. We were meeting with some of the town officials and we'll be heading out soon. Just stopping by. Did you ever find the people you were looking for? And again, I know it was a while ago. I want to apologize for the bad information we gave you.

I think nothing of it. I look at it as a general misunderstanding. We're all friends of House Dragon. And he's... Okay, so as soon as you say that... Well, then. And he's going to brush, like, brush you aside to, like, make room so I can sit down. Oh, for sure. I mean... Rude. Not like in a rude way. Just like, "Hmm, let me get in here." So he's going to sit down. Pushing his way into the lunch bench. Yes, exactly. I picture, like, a round, like, yeah, so like he's gonna... Well, in that case, we did eventually track down the egg. And unfortunately, that's pretty much the end of our jurisdiction.

It was handed over to an Order of the Scale. It's a cultish group in town. We're trying to get the authorities involved, but the process is slow. Hmm. What is it that you need done? We are, at least now, in good standing with the people that are governing the city. We might be able to help in some way. Ugh, it's just bureaucratic red tape. Don't worry about it. Apparently some of their members were assaulted. They may have been doing something illegal. It's all very... tiresome. We're waiting to search the premises, but by then, who knows? Again, what brings you all the way to Aesterhold?

You were heading north last time we spoke, if memory serves. Well, right now, just more of the same. One of the same business. You know how it is? Hmm. Brelyn will chime in. Yeah, you know, saving cities, killing demons. Usual business for us. Ahem. Forgive me for saying this, but, um... He's going to look... He's going to motion towards Larg and Brelyn. You're looking a little... Ahem. Um, worse for wear. Are you alright? Oh, never felt better. I'm in great shape. Don't have to eat as much. It's a blessing, really. And I kind of give him like a wink. A picture of that milky eye, just like, "Bing!" Well, I'm not going to take up any more of your time.

Good luck, whatever you're doing. Before you go, where are these cultist hotties? You said they're hiding out and you can't search the premises. You must know where they are in the city. Well, they have quite a large manor on the outskirts of Esterholt, but... They also have... Not untrained guards. It's been quite a feat to get any information out of them. They're quite standoffish. What would help you? And he's going to kind of look at you. Well, all I need is proof that they possess the egg. What are you offering? I mean... We could maybe have the city guard help with you?

I don't know if that's something that's been sort of tying you up. Or maybe we could say that for us to move forward in our business, we need to have you be able to take a look onto this premise. Something like that. You know, just something so that we can help each other out. Well, if you're in that close with the leadership of the city, that would be outstandingly handy. What can I offer you? You said you're looking into cults and things, right? How long have you been in Esterholt, dealing with this? Three weeks. Have you heard anything about Occult of Vecna here in your time digging into the underbelly of this city?

There's a small group, yes, but they don't appreciate being called a cult, from my understanding. Do you know where they are? And are they so clandestine that they're difficult to take a meeting with? He's going to kind of lean in just a little bit. I don't think it would be too much trouble. They're basically like any other church. Just... tucked away, let's say. You might have to go down some back alleys, but as long as you're not adverse to that, I don't see where the problem would be. Shall I give you directions? Mark nods. Yeah, yeah. Strange person. Braille is going to step in.

Well, I mean, Mr. Delorne, I know we're on good terms, but I just can't help but get the feeling that maybe you'll give us the kind of directions we gave you at first. Oh, he's going to look insulted. Excuse me, sir. While I don't wish to offend you, I would never give someone the runaround that you gave me upon our first meet. Oh, okay. He puts his hands up. Just checking, just checking. Making sure we're on the up and up. Finger guns. He's going to write down some directions for the group. Do you have any... I notice you don't have your retinue with you anymore.

Well, it's been three weeks. They're in the city, but there's no need to travel so heavily. Oh, I see. I didn't know if that was another way we could help you. Maybe you could use a person or two to go in, push in, to help you with your investigation. Well, in all honesty, I was hoping that I could settle this a bit more hush-hush, but unfortunately, the person who would take care of such a thing has been unable or unwilling to sit down and speak with me. He's been quite elusive. Who is this person? One of the mayor's boys. From my understanding, not a town guard or...

I'm not even sure he has an official designation in the city. If you ask me, it all sounds very shady. Hmm. Do you have a name? Serif. Oh. Oh. Are you going to tell him you're supposed to meet with him at some point? Because that would piss him right off. Nope. Okay. I'm just warning you right away. The dude's been in town for three weeks. But it's like, "Yeah, we're supposed to sit! Yeah!" Oh my gosh. Um... Look, like I said, we're not going to be here very long, but... Where are you staying? Why don't we stay in touch? We'll take a look at this cult of Vecna thing, and thank you very much.

But... We might be able to help get the wheels turning a little quicker, if you know what I mean. Well, I've been staying at the Velvet Pillow. Is that where we're staying? I believe so, yeah. It's the nicest hotel in town. Gotcha. The rooms are... adequate. They're like the best rooms that Cauldron has ever been. Oh, how convenient. That's exactly where we're staying. So... We'll be... We'll be close by. If we can move things along, we'll get in touch with you there. And hopefully we can, I don't know, set up a... set up a meeting or something. Well then. It's settled.

I will see you all around, and I won't intrude upon your lunch anymore. Good day. Oh, one more thing. Have you heard anything from House Dragonkeep? Any news? Any word? Not recently, but that's not out of the ordinary. I'm... fairly far away from home. If I do, though... I can send word your way. Thank you, Vincent. Yes, if you hear anything. He's gonna kinda stiffly stand up and kinda straighten out his coat here, and... Almost like he doesn't know how to leave. Like, just... Quite. And just walk away. Like he's... Yeah, like he's... you know. I was gonna offer him some of these bean leavings, but...

I don't know. There's still time, I suppose. He probably wouldn't like them. Not up to his standards. I don't know. I think this is like the unifying kind of food, you know? The wealthy like it, the poor like it. Yeah, but it's Vincent alone. Come on. It's true. It's true. It's one of the new tastes we've all been looking for. I want... I want to write an article for the book now just called "Bean Leavings." Hey, we haven't decided on all the recipes yet. I know! "Bart's Bean Leavings." Once Jasper knows, it's over. You have to sneak it in. Yeah. It's like a side note thing.

It's like a chance for Merrick to like swoop in and be the like marketing and chef genius behind this, you know, like this is a partnership. A Bart and Merrick team up. Yeah. "Huff the Claw presents..." A Bart special. When Vincent gets up, Larg just kind of looks at her and we're like, "Was I supposed to know who that was?" Oh my God. A friend from the road before... before Donhurst. Oh yeah. Way before Donhurst. We basically tricked this guy and then he went the wrong way and then we found him again. Complete accident. But then we said everything. Called an admitted fault.

It's all fine. Did I? Is that how that went? I... I mean, I sure as hell didn't. That's true. Oh, okay. They were looking for an egg. A dragon egg. Something safe kept. Mouse, dragon keep in Brightport. They've been stolen. Yeah, Larg shudders a little bit when he says dragon. It's a white one if that makes you feel better. Well, racist. It'd be cold instead of super hot. It's all I was trying. Don't worry. This is one of the good dragons. Yeah. Oh my God. Keep it in the Patreon content, not the show. Oh my God. We could really help with this. I don't know. I mean... A white dragon egg.

That's pretty rare. And if it's just here in the city... I know we have a lot on our plate. I know... God knows we have a lot on our plate, but... If they're at some kind of weird bureaucratic stalemate... And this is a problem that we could maybe help fix... This is a dragon we're talking about. Hmm. Brandon's gonna nod. Yeah. I'm all for... And he's gonna put his fingers up in air quotes. Finding a way into this manor. And he looks at Tatyana. I mean, you're pretty good at stuff like that too, right? And he'll shrug. I mean, not to toot my own horn, but... Beep beep.

Yeah. I mean, we can find this... We can find evidence and maybe we find some other things and they just happen to find their way into our bags. And they just happen to find their way on a shopkeep's counter being sold. And we just happen to find some gold in our pockets after that. It works out. I just wouldn't want to spend too much time in town. If we can... If we can split up... And take each thing at a time... And get it done, then I'm all for helping, but... I don't want to stay longer than we need to. I understand. I understand. So... Are you guys splitting up?

I mean... Yeah, probably. We just have too much to do with not enough time, you know? We've got to go talk to this cult. See Sarah. We've got to... Oh my gosh. It's just so many things. No, no, no. Hey, I'm all for splitting up. Oh yeah, take that tone. I mean, who wants to go... We've got this cult's address. Who wants to go talk to them? And who wants to... Who wants to try and... Do we want to try and talk with Sarah first? Or do we want to check out this house first? Well, Sarah is the connection, right? He can get us the egg stuff also. Yeah, Sarah might have information on them that we could use.

Yeah. So Sarah, I think. Okay. So... How do we want to split this up? I think that, like, Kelly, once we're done at Barkscart, Kelly would suggest that she splits off and maybe go to, like, their library and start doing some research. Because, like, diplomacy is not really, like, her big thing, but, like, she can dig through some books. Research on what? I don't know. Wow. I don't know. We do have a bunch of the Darmok stuff. We have the Darmok stuff. We also were looking into, like, a demon connection to the Black Hand. And also, like, low key, like Kelly's curse thing.

If you're going to go to Darmok's house by yourself, Brelin would go with you. He doesn't want you to go off and then... We don't know much about him, but he knows that he's getting bad news, right? It's the mayor's mansion now. Yeah. I thought nobody lived in it. Well, there's a large section of it that most people would call a library, yes. That seems unsafe. Well, not like a public library. This was offered to you, though. Sure it was. So, like, you'd be watched, but, like, I think, conservatively, she'd probably call it a study, but it's a fucking library.

Like, it's got this. This is like a Beauty and the Beast fucking library. Right. Yeah, no. Is the library Jadzia's library, or is it, like, also Darmok's old stuff? It's Darmok's old stuff. 'Cause that could have some really good information. Yeah. And I need time to go through it. So, we could... I think Kalden really wants to go check this dragon egg situation out. But I think, though, I think it might be better served at the library. Just helping if we're splitting up. So our diplomatic guy is not gonna go do our diplomacy stuff. Wait, wait, wait. Are you sneaking in, or are you... 'Cause it sounded like the two stealthiest members of the party were going to check this out.

Check what out? Oh, I mean, if we're gonna talk to Seraph, we can talk to him and try and get in without sneaking in. Yeah. I mean, couldn't Seraph meet us at the mayor's house? Oh, we could do that. Yeah. Okay. So it sounds like... Two broken stone. It sounds like we're going to the... Someone's... Couple of us are going to the mayor's house, couple of us are going to Vecna cult, right? Yeah, we're just going to the Vecna church. Okay. I will not be useful in the library. Okay. Khaldun will go, it sounds like, with Kali to the library and hopefully to talk to Seraph.

No, we're all talking to Seraph. I'm confused. Got it. She's going to the cult. Lars is going to the cult. No, I thought the cult is... We're also talking to Seraph. Let me see if I could suss this out for everybody. It sounds like Kali and Khaldun are going to go check out the library and I think everybody is going except for Tatiana and Larg who are going to go check out this church of Vecna. I want to go with the church of Vecna. I want church of Vecna. I thought we were talking to Seraph to find out where the church of Vecna was. You just found out where it was.

We know where it is. We need to talk to Seraph on... Or the egg. Oh, but Vincent Delors knew where Vecna was? Yes. Okay, tight. I want to do that. Wasn't there something else we were going to talk to Seraph about too? I don't remember. I don't know. I don't know. It was to try and see about the cult of Vecna. Oh, okay. We gave this great opportunity to get this information. Yeah. Okay, so Kali and Khaldun to the library/Seraph, the rest of us to Vecna. Yeah, because I feel like we might get jumped there. There's a chance. And remember, we've got Heelys over here, Heelys over there.

How non-intentional. Yeah. And you've got the bell, right Larg? Right, Jameson? Okay. Do we want to bring them to the church? No, no, no. We should not have bring the bell. Give me the bell. They're not going to search your god damn bags. Like, man. Why don't people get caught? Well, they have an ancient artifact like metal detector, right? And it's going to beep when we walk through? Yeah, they've got something. It could be helpful to convince them. I mean, they're our new congregation, but we still have to meet them. Make sure they're not... Here's the thing though.

What's our plan to go in? Because I always thought the best plan would be to not let them know that like, like we're trying to suss them out, not have them suss us out. So I think we should be like a group of friends that are like really into Bekkah. And we just like want to see what it's about. Like have them recruit us, you know? Great. Elena, you're taking point on this. That's a very good idea. Yeah. No, actually, I think that makes sense. Because we don't know what they're like. Sorry, I'll stop talking over people. No, you're fine. No, no. Go for it. I'm writing down.

Like we don't know what they're like. And we have information that if they knew we had that information could go very poorly depending on the type of people that they are. So I think we should go in pretending like we're interested in them. I love it. All right. Brelin's 100% behind the plan. Totally in. Cali will take Belle from Lark. Yeah, and he'll put his helmet on. Like, I don't think revealing an undeadness is a good idea up front. Yeah. Hood up. Hood up. Cowl over Brelin's face. We just want to be like a couple of like weird teens. Hello, fellow kids. Hey, we were just walking along Hollywood Boulevard and we saw this church going.

We thought, well, something's not free to do. We all show up in Goth Kid make up. And you know what would be really crazy? We just were like, this is going to be so crazy. And we just came in. Would it be crazy? I don't know. I'll buy the book. I'll buy the book. I am. I'll go for it. I love church youth groups. It was so much fun because there was free food anyways. Continue. Oh, I thought we were talking about Scientology. My bad. We were. We were. I misread the room. Callie and Calvin going to Jadzia's library. Brelin, Larg, Alina and Tati are checking out this church of Ekna.

And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night because this is already a four hour show. Oh my gosh, I know. By the way, the four going to talk to the cultists or the church are the dumdums. So. I don't know which one of us is book smart. No one. None of us are book smart. Oh, Alina has read before. I know it has to come up on the show, but she did a lot of research before coming on the show. I've never read books. Right? She's losing her memories so a piece of her brain is missing. We know Larg can read because he read the letter. Brelin definitely can read, but like he's a little lazy.

He's like, ah, and then it got to the point where he failed his classes because he was so lazy. Unless it's sheet music. He just like looks at it once and he's like, got it. Academic enterprise, dumdum. Man, we hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. December for DNR is going to be a pretty big one as we are wrapping up the year and preparing for a bunch of brand new content in January. Now, we're working on getting a lovely little Christmas thing together for you guys or a holiday type RPG and posting that in the main feed. But until then, you can follow us on Patreon at patreon.com/dandr to get a wealth of content.

We'll be wrapping up things like Living in Theria. We're going to be doing the very last one as we prep for brand new shows coming out in January. If you want to hear more about those, we posted a newsletter in the $1 tier all about it. It's about 45 minutes long just detailing all the changes we're going to be making. If you've never checked out our Patreon before because it just didn't appeal to you, you might want to listen to that. And hopefully there's going to be some stuff that appeals to you in the new year. Thank you all so much for your support.

We really appreciate it and we'll be back next week with a brand new episode for you guys. See you all then.