Never Tell Me the Odds

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Previously for Group B, after finally getting on the road and heading toward the Black Tip Forest to investigate the Black Hand, the group noticed that they were being trailed by two would-be assassins. As Callie went in bird form to investigate, she noticed that they had a book and were in the middle of a ritual to summon demons. In the midst of trying to wrestle the book away, Callie was knocked out and captured. And that's where we pick up things now. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going on the table starting with Karen.

Hi, I'm Karen and I play Callie and I'm in a really good place, guys. Like, nothing bad is happening at all. [Laughter] Sorry. And Jameson. Hi, I'm Jameson. I play Larg, the half-orc and revenant, paladin and barbarian. So many things. I love multi-classing. [Laughter] And Jamie. Hello, I'm Jamie. I play Tatyana, the human rogue. And Alex. Hey, I'm Alex and I play Braille and the halfling bard and I'm not in a good place right now. Bills are stacking up. I'm half dead. I can't really play my instrument. I don't know who I am right now. [Laughter] And Ian? This is getting sad now.

I'll try and bring it around. Hey, I'm Ian and although my character didn't know Ubo, if he did, he'd be poutin'. And sad as it is, I'm the only one shoutin'. Comin' out clear, gushin' forth like a fountain, I'm calden Halek, half-elf of the mountain. [Laughter] Well, thanks for sitting down everybody. I really appreciate it. [Laughter] And Valerie! Maybe we should have kept our cameras on so you could see how a gasp I was. Anyway, hi, I'm Valerie. I play Elena, the human fighter. I'm doing pretty good. Thanks for asking. I... look, no matter what happens tonight, you guys, it's great.

It's gonna be great! I didn't have a fuckin'... I didn't have an ending to that. So, Jamie! Yes? I'm gonna ask you to roll some dice soon. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Okay. Just, I wanted to prep you. Okay. I think we need to check in with Karen first, though. It's been what, about a month since we sat down? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And we were gonna wait another month to play, but you guys... you guys squeezed in a special session, and thank you all for doing that. Now we can just pull this band-aid off and just see where we all end up. (Laughter) Sorry, I'm following the chat right now.

Alright. Callie's unconscious. She's no longer in bird form. And she's tied up. Thick. Now, demons have been summoned in this area. And there's this binding circle here. And it's pretty damn big. So, what these assassin cult people are doing now is they're gonna get ready and lift Callie up. And put her on the back of this horse. (Laughter) Now, this is where Callie gets a chance to hopefully... hopefully... wake up. That would be very nice. Well, we're gonna try, right? Yeah. So, you're unconscious. What I'd like you to do is roll a con saving throw for me. Okay.

Now, I have a number in my head. And the closer you get to that number, the sooner you're gonna wake up. The further you are away from that number, the longer it's gonna take you to wake up. Since that's not fair. Yeah. (Laughter) Okay. The slower you talk, the nervous, the more nervous I get. No, no, no, no. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. Alright, here it goes. (Laughter) Wow. Wow. We did this for you, Jason. We did this for you. (Laughter) Karen, I thought we were done with this. (Laughter) My dice color! (Laughter) That's a one. (Laughter) Rolled a one.

With a modifier of one. (Laughter) So. You have brain damage again. (Laughter) I have inspiration. Do you? Can I reroll it? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where did you get inspiration? You gave it to me at the end of the last session. Did I? For my bravery. Well, okay. Here's the thing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this. (Laughter) You can choose. God damn it. Hold on, hold on. What? What? I'm giving you a choice. I'm trying to help. I'm trying to help. You can choose to pop that inspiration right now. And take your chances on the roll. Or. You could roll a D4 for me.

And the higher that number is. The faster you're going to wake up. However. The higher that D4 is. The more intelligence I'm going to shave off of your score. What? This is to simulate you getting really clunked in the head. Oh, I see. Now that would be the trade off for two crit ones in a row like that. Yeah, it's pretty terrible. Now. That, that inspiration might serve you very well right now. Like you might, boom, roll a 20. Who knows, right? But it also could come in handy later on. I don't know. This is up to you. I just want to give you options. I'm all about player choice, Karen.

I feel like I just. Player choice, man. Every, every time you offer me an option, they're all. Bullshit. And I always roll back. Okay. One goes hand in hand with the other. You roll a lot of crit ones. Yeah. Yeah. And I love you. But I feel like we need to address that at this point. Yeah. All right. Oh, hang on to my inspiration. So you want to do the D4? Yeah. Okay. So the higher this role. The more time we're going to shave off. That's unfair. Yeah. Here we go. Okay. There it is. Cool. Love that. Okay. Feel free to unmute everybody. You are cursed in real life. This is unbelievable.

It is not just the Cali curse. Karen is cursed. We need to get some sage over there. I just let it kill. Maybe that'll help. We need a real life spell up in this piece. Let me look at the Necronomicon real quick. Sam has one at the bed. Nice. Okay. I'm going to take your intelligence down to a 10. Cause that was a one everybody at home. As if you didn't know. Another one. Another one. That means it's going to be a hit, right? Another one. So Cali's going to be out for a while. What this assassin is going to do is load Cali up on the back of his horse. And kind of tie her down to make sure that she's not going to flail.

But make sure that she just doesn't fall off, right? And he is going to start to ride back toward the road. The rest of the party. My understanding was that you were going to wait for Cali to return, correct? I thought that we were continuing to ride forward. Yeah, I don't think we're stopping. No? Okay. Cause I thought the entire point of her scouting was just to check stuff out. Could everyone in the party please do me a favor? Give me a perception check. Everybody? Yeah, please. Well, not. Wow, almost over. Not yet. Tight. Nice, nice, Jameson. There we go. Okay.

Okay. Well, Elena rolled a 1-2, so let's get all those out of our system. Elena's busy looking at her new sword. Like, "Whoa, it's so cool." And the voice. Same voice. Oh yeah, definitely. Larg is going to spot a rider off in the distance. And I think you'd recognize it as the same rider you saw before. Like the ones that were kind of way off in the distance, kind of flanking the party riding off into the woods. And with that perception check, a 21, you're also going to notice Callie tied to the back of that horse. And it's not riding any more. It's off kind of like standing in a field, like clearly trying to get your attention.

And then it's going to ride back toward the woods. So he's going to point and kind of like not make any sound for a minute, but just be pointing off toward the field off the side of the road for like a long moment and go, "I think Callie was on a horse, but not like the right way." We should probably go. I don't think that didn't. Yeah, he's going to like immediately just take his horse off the road and head in that direction. I guess follow as soon as Larg heads off, I'll jump up on Spike and follow him. Giddy up gargle mind. Hurry the fuck up, Rum Shaker, Rum Dropper, whatever the hell your name is.

Rum Shaker? Rum Shaker, I like that. Okay. France, Oreo, lavender. All right. I. Oh, boy. These assassins are going to ride back or this one anyway. And this is clearly a trap like, duh. You both know that you all know that that is. And here's what we're going to do. I would say you guys are coming in and the opposite end here, obviously. So I'll just slide you into frame. I don't know how you want to arrange yourselves. Okay. Now, this is clearly a trap. Larg. Since you did such a great job with perception before, I'm going to give you a chance to roll perception again walking into this.

Okay. So are we based on the map here? Are we in like thick woods at this point? Like, do we get off the road through the field and into the forest? Yeah, I would imagine at this point you'd probably even I almost said dishorse. I don't think that's a fucking term at all. You'd probably dismount from your horse. I accidentally almost said disrobe, which is also wrong. I do all three of those things. No, yeah, I was going to say at the tree line, he'll actually like dismount from the horse and then start like trotting into the forest. I'll make that perception check.

You got it. And get an eight. Okay. Okay, so you are going to see you are going to see that that drow assassin. And you're going to see Callie in the back with another drow. And they're holding a knife up to Callie's throat. Okay. I assume I'm the first one in there. Yeah, let's say like everyone's right behind you. You're the first one leading the charge, but their feet behind you like they're not. This isn't, yeah. Okay. I would like to take a bonus action. Okay. And cast the spell Sanctuary on Callie. Oh. You ward a creature within range against attack. Until the spell ends, any creature who targets the word creature with an attack or harm for spell must first make a wisdom saving throw.

On a failed save, the creature must choose a new target or lose the attack or spell. Wow, I believe that's a first on the show. Congrats. Okay, so I would imagine this is going to be a visual cue, like some sort of glow or shield on Callie. Yeah, so he's kind of walking forward. Like he doesn't break a stride. The second he sees that happen, he like raises a hand as if to be like, okay, okay, okay. You know, but his hand sort of glows. His eyes glow a little bit and she clearly gets like a glow about her as well. Like a like a force field type thing. Okay.

So the drow standing next to Callie is probably going to react like kind of back off for a second. Like, ah, like, okay, that's well played, sir. That type of thing. And then he's going to raise his hand and speak what sounds like gibberish, maybe. And this bright purple circle is going to light up around you guys, almost like a ring of fire. And several demons are going to become visible in front of you and around you. Can everyone do me a favor and initiative? I'm only going to say that this is really cool because it's using all of our book art. Oh, shit.

Well, that's not great. You sure you went to put that many on. I want to recount that, Jason. Just to double check me. I'm hold on. Yeah. We need to play back the last episode. There. I was like, oh, I forgot. There's actually supposed to be one more. That is what would happen. You're right. OK. So here's what's going to happen. I got a little good news bad news situation for you here. Now. The bad news, obviously, is that the deck is a bit stacked against you and Callie is very unconscious. And each round on Callie's turn, I'm going to have Callie roll a con save with disadvantage.

If Callie rolls a 14, she's going to wake up. Now, obviously, that's all bad news. The good news is for each round, Callie's unconscious. I'm going to allow Callie to spend a hit die for healing. See, you know, clouds and silver linings and all that. Are you guys ready? Let's find out. Let's see. Into the crucible. I wish you all the luck in the world. Let's do it. Drow elite warrior, the one standing next to Callie is no longer going to be standing next to Callie because fuck that. But he is going to. Oh, boy. I'm going to say move just a bit forward and target Brailin with his hand crossbow.

And fire one off. 14. So that would hit normally, but because I have watched my closest friend use dispel shield, I will also use shield as a reaction and increase my AC by five. So I now have an AC of 19 for one round. That is very fortuitous. Now, I don't want to be a racist, but I think maybe more than anybody, Brailin and Larg are going to notice the way these guys are decked out. And you fought Drow assassins before. They have some nasty poison on their blades a lot of the time. Fantastic. So it's probably good you didn't get hit with that. Who noticed that?

Everybody? I mean, I would say I'd say everyone notices it, but I think more than anyone, probably Larg and Brailin. Larg got stabbed a lot last time, if you remember. You also got his throw slip by some people pretty similar to these guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Anywho, Castle Demon. Castle Demon number three is going to wander right up here to Elena. Now, these things are, you could see the art on the table, but they're these lanky, like, around like six and a half feet tall, covered in spines. Like, they look just awkward and nasty, right? It's going to target Elena and it has, oh boy, it has a multi attack and it's going to use its claws twice.

So once, oh, 11 is going to miss and twice, nine is going to miss. Ooh, uh, let's do it. Riposte, when a creature misses you with a melee attack, you can use a reaction and expend one superiority die to make a melee weapon attack against the creature. If you hit, you add the superiority die to the attack's damage roll. Let's do it. So, oh, I gotta write this down. Okay, so basic melee attack on you with my fancy, fancy sword. 22 will hit. Beautiful. So I have five superiority die. I'm using one. They just got upgraded to a D10. Very exciting. Ooh. Six, eight, 10.

So we're going to roll that damage and okay. 16 damage to the castle demon. Uh, wait, let me just make sure, cause it does funny things. Okay, no, that's when I crit, not when I like crit damage. Gotcha. Okay. And that's just my reaction. So you can keep going now. On your way. Uh, Braylin, you're almost shot. Yeah, I'm just gonna, Braylin's gonna like it, wave his hand and after the arrow or the bolt gets, uh, flung away, he sees Elena react to the creature next to both of them. And he gets flashbacks of the hookshot demons on the boat. He's gonna shake his head and say, no, not again, not this time.

And he's going to cast Bane and the creatures don't have to hear or see me. I need to just see them. So I didn't have this last time when I fought the Klykors. So I'm targeting Klykor one. Okay. Kossil four and Klykor two. I believe they're in range. Let me check. Yeah, they're in 30 feet. Okay. So, hold on, this is complicated cause there's a bunch of buttons under the magnifying glass. They have to make charisma saving throw, so I'll hit the cast dice to see what happens. And they should all, whee! Why did I hit, I saw four dice, why are there four? I don't know, let's ignore it.

Uh, so, wow, guess what? Um, uh, Klykor, yeah, Klykor two, not very charismatic. It's gonna fail, the other two are gonna succeed. Okay, well at least one of them. So then, Preyland plays the loot with the blood from his thumb as he's like jamming out quickly. Uh, now, they have to roll, they have to roll D4 and subtract the number when they attack or saving throw. Okay, shit, alright. And I only casted a level one, cause I could cast it at two, but I just used a level one spell sign. And then, after I do that, I believe I should move so they don't fucking surround us.

Cause this is very familiar, this looks like the, uh, well, I'm not gonna spoil it, but there was a recent fight we had. Yeah, you and Tatiana are definitely gonna remember the Klykors. Yeah, yeah, so Preyland's gonna look at Tatiana, yeah, that was only one, oh my god! Preyland's gonna look at Tatiana and say, "Hey, you got this right?" And then he's gonna, without even having listened to her, he's gonna move away. He's gonna move right here next to Larg. Alaina's gonna look back to Breyland and be like, "Hey man, I was there too." As he runs behind you, "Oh yeah, that's right!" And then he's just gonna, like, run past you.

As her sword is halfway stuck through a demon already. Yeah, and that's the end of my turn. Alright, oh boy, so Jizou, Drow Assassin, oh boy, is gonna just run right up into the fray and target Alaina. Whoa! Yep, gonna get all up in it. I don't like this. Gonna target Alaina with a multitack, two short swords, and get a +2 because the castle demon is an ally next to Alaina. So let's... Oh no. This could be bad. 22 will hit Alaina. Could you do me a favor? Give me a Constitution save. I can do that. Okay. Oh, that's on the main page. Oh, fantastic. Okay, so you're just gonna take...

So let's reduce that to 8, 'cause that's what you... So, got another one coming up though. And maybe you'll take all that next time. I don't know. Here we go. 16 will hit. Can you give me another Constitution save? Yes. Jesus! Oh shit. That's a crit. 26. Give Callie some of those, please. Get it around. So yeah, you're fine. Nobody's seriously giving me those. Alright, Tatiana! Jamie? Yes? Did I introduce you at the start of the episode? Yeah. That's what I thought. I don't know, I had this weird, like, "Did I leave the iron on?" And Jamie. I had this weird, like...

Did you forget about me, Jason? No! And I talked to you after the episode started, so I know I did, but like, it's like, "Did I leave the oven on?" Like, it was a weird thing. I'm senile, is what it is, Jamie. You did say I was gonna have to roll dice, but I think... Yes! No, we're not... Nope. Nope. Don't worry about it. I didn't forget that. I remembered my job, the dice part of it. You forgot about the dice part of it? So, yeah. Just not me. Just not... Oh boy. Okay, so... Oh man, see, there's not a lot of cool things that really I can do, like, as a rogue. Like, I don't have spells or anything, but I wanted to try this thing.

Though I don't know if it'll work now that this drow assassin is right next to me. I mean, you could take a step back. Okay. Wait, I'm confused. Wasn't I supposed to get hit again? You were! No. No. Oh yeah, he did hit you with a regular damage. You're right. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. Not that I'm asking for more, but like, "Hit me, hit me, hit me." Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. Uh, five damage. Hot, thanks. No problem. Tight. (laughter) Okay, Tatiana, you took a step back? Yes. So I'm gonna take a step back, and I want to sort of lay out what I want to try, and then you tell me if I'm allowed to try it.

Okay. So, I have this thing called "Cunning Action" that allows me to take an additional action to dash, disengage, or hide. And so I want to hide. Okay. That's... Yes! Okay, so I'm gonna hide, like, behind these bushes in this, like, tree sort of area. Okay. Give me a stealth check. Okay. Here we go. (humming) I'm sneaking around! 26. Yes you are. You are very much sneaking around. (humming) (laughter) Can I... Okay. Remember that dice roll? (humming) Yeah. Give me a perception check. Oh. I'm not very perceptive 'cause I'm sneaking around. Yeah, never mind. You rolled a four.

(laughter) I may have you do it again later, but there's a thing. Don't worry. Okay. Okay. So you're hiding. I'm hiding. I'm so sneaky. So because I'm hiding, my attack now I'll get advantage four. (laughter) Okay. So I'm gonna attack this drow assassin. So you want to jump into that bush to immediately leap out of the bush? No! No! I'm still hiding. Oh, you don't want to do it now, though. No, I'm going to shoot my arrow at him. Oh. If you attack one, you're hiding. Yeah. You should figure out where you are, though. That's okay. I think they know that that bush isn't firing crossbow bolts.

I'm doing this for the advantage, you guys. Okay! That's fine. Do it. You got it. You dive in, disappear, and then you pop back up and you're like, "Gotcha!" And then I pop back up. I think the fact that he was swinging at Elena, like, you just went, "Whistles." Like, you just, like, necessarily paying attention to you. Rogues are silly, guys. Rogues are silly, and that's why they're the best. Okay. Hi-yah! Twenty-two will hit. Yay! Okay, so I'll do my damage, and then I'll do my sneak damage. Okay. Mm-mm-mm-mm. Okay, ten damage plus... And then, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...

God, you get a lot of sneak attack die. I think it's 5d6. It's five? Five, yeah. Yeah, 5d6. Gonna start using that poison you got. Oh, shit. Thirty-five total damage. Ew, ew to the neck! Totally worth jumping into the bush. Do it again, please. More bush. More bush. My God. Okay. Okay. That bush is so lethal. Castle demon number one is gonna know you're in that bush, though. It's gonna come right on up to... Oh, God. I'm so scared. And it's going to target Tatiana. It missed twice. The last castle demon missed twice, so I think you're in good shape. So, here we go. Whoop!

Ten is gonna miss. Holy shit. Twenty's gonna hit, though. Okay. So, 3d6 plus three... eleven. It worked two ones. That could happen from that. That's on the lower end of the spectrum. Holy shit. Castle demon number two is going to... Whoop! Just slip over here and target Brailin. I'm gonna impose disadvantage on that, please. Okay. First attack, boom. Imposing disadvantage. We're gonna drop a four to take a three. Wow, that sucked. Thank you, Larg. Second one's a 23, though. I'm sorry. No! This is gonna hurt! Twelve damage! That's not so bad. That's not so bad. Larg! Your thoughts?

Feebones? Well, Larg was all about ready to hit this one that was hitting Elena, but then this one came over and hit Brailin instead, so he's gonna actually get really confused, and when he's confused, he tends to cast Bless. So, we're going to Bless. Hang on, let me remember how to do this. Yeah. So, Brailin, Elena, and Tatiana, we're gonna Bless. Like this. Very nice. So that now you get extra stuff. And that's it. Besides that, he's gonna look real mean. And that's my turn. Okay. Elena. Your thoughts? Okay. I see you already have someone targeted. You're ready to go.

Oh, no, that was from before. Oh, I thought you were just gonna parlay that in, too. Well, so here's-- Oh, actually, it doesn't matter what my thinking is. It doesn't apply right now. I think-- Well, both of them-- No, the castle didn't hit me. The drow assassin did. It did. So I'm gonna go after the drow assassin. Oh, no. Um, let's see. I won't use anything yet. There's still too many creatures on the board to start going all willy-nilly with my superiority die. Yeah, 17 will hit. Perfect. Oh, it's my turn. Sorry, I'm okay. What? No, I-- What? What's happening in your brain?

I glitched for a second. I'm okay. Tower, you have to reboot. Six damage to the drow assassin. And then I'll go again because when I glitched, I remembered that I have two attacks. Sure. Or do I have three now? I don't know, to be honest. But I'm gonna hit him again. Okay. Oh, shit, that's a critical. No, no, no, no, no. We got some shit going on here. I know you want to do-- Wait, does the floor roll on the table? Yes, it does. Oh, okay, do that first, I guess. Okay. War cry. All allies that can see you gain inspiration if they do not already have it. Oh my gosh.

Wait, does that mean Callie doesn't get inspiration because she's asleep? Callie can't see it. Oh no. Asleep is a nice way to put that. What about Tatiana? She's in a bush. Can she see me? Yes. She has a great vantage point. Okay, so everyone else gets inspiration, but I don't? All allies that can see you, so not you. You just got a crit. I think you're good. You're fine. You're doing great. No, I don't think it gives me enough. Okay, so that's everything with that then. Well, not the damage, but yeah, the crit table, yes. Yeah, okay. By the way, people at home, she rolled a 31 for her this way.

Oh, that's funny. So when I crit, because I have a super special fun sword, I get an extra 14 damage. Jesus God. And I roll another d20, and exciting things happen if I get another 20. Okay, well let's see the 20. Yeah, I wanna do that first. If you roll another 20, holy shit. Okay, so that's a nine. Okay, so I get an extra 14 damage, so I'll add that. So okay. Yes. Let's do all the bonus damage, and then just add it to the damage you're gonna do. Yeah. Is there other bonus damage? Was there a superiority die thing or anything? No, I didn't do any of that. Okay, sweet.

So yeah, just add the 14 to the damage you're about to do. 'Cause it should do the crit whatever on its own. So what you do is roll a 14. Oh, I have to shift hold? Yeah, and roll a 14 up for the modifier. Yeah. And then just, yeah, shift click. Okay. Well, I have to shift double click. 26 damage. So that's how I was-- No, no, no, no, I think I have something. Oh, wow, wow. Oh, I have to find it. When, okay, when you roll a one or two on a damage die for an attack you make with a melee weapon that you are wielding with two hands, you can reroll the die and must use the new roll, even if the new roll is a one or a two.

Okay, just do me a favor, roll a D8. Yes. 'Cause you rolled a one on that. That'll be enough to kill the drow. Hell yeah. Jesus God. Oh my God, yeah. So you're gonna come down with this sword and at the collarbone, you're gonna split him down to the chest and there's just gonna be blood everywhere and it's just going to keel over and fall back. But no demons disappear, huh? No demons disappear. God damn it. I was so hoping, man. I feel like when he dies, Brown with Tatyana and then Kaladin and then Larg and the demon is still around, he's like, shit. (laughing) Okay, it's next level that I get three attacks.

That was incredible. Great fucking turn, great fucking turn. I think that's everything. Castle demon number four is going to, hmm. Gonna roll up here to Kaladin. Boy. And gonna target Kaladin. Gonna swing twice with those claws. 18 will hit. Yeah. 11 damage. Swing it again. 12 will miss, 12 will miss, not 12 damage, I'm sorry. (laughing) Run away, run away. (laughing) Kali. Let's see if you wake up. Give me a con save with disadvantage. You're shooting for a 14. There's no way. You don't know. Come on, you're due for some good rolls. There's no way. Oh my god, we're dropping a 16 to take an eight.

That's nine. The universe is in a different place. It's nine. The universe hates me, it's fine. (laughing) Technically it would hate all of us because we could really use you right about now. No, the universe does me just fine right now, thanks. I've got some good stuff too, guys. (laughing) There's a loaded gun laying down across the... (laughing) As soon as I wake up, man. You don't even know, guys. Kaladin, your turn. All right, I might be making your life pretty complicated right now. That's fine. So Kaladin is gonna get hit by this thing and he's gonna look at everyone around him and say, "If you can, keep the other drow alive." Oh no.

And then he is going to spring forth his icy dragon wings from his back and fly up into the air 20 feet and out 10. Okay, I think you're gonna get an opportunity attack for that? I think? Yeah, that sounds right. Okay, so it's just one. Well, 23 will hit. Ten. So this thing rakes him down the back as he goes up, spinning, and he's gonna fly up and then I'm up in the air. Yeah, you're in the air now. I'm up here and I'm gonna move out 10 feet. Okay. So I'm up 20, out 10. Got it. I'm gonna turn around to this clique core and point at it and try and shoot a ray of frost at it.

Ooh. As a bonus action, I'm spending some sorcery points. So let's see. Oh my God. And I won't be doing that. It's a flub. Something bad happens. It's the raking of the claws. He goes up to try and shoot the spell and he gets hit. Yeah, you're just like, whoa. So we're gonna roll on the table. Number nine. Oh, we're rolling on the table. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. You are going to give me a D4, please. D4. That's gonna decide who to. Okay, sweet. So you're gonna hit Callie with a basic attack. So it's going to, like that rake, you're like, ah, you're gonna try and fire this ray of frost but accidentally hit Callie instead.

Okay. So I just roll like a range thing? Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just hit Callie. Jason, I'm trying. Hit your friend. There we go. Eight. Fantastic. Okay. That's a hit die. Sweet. Okay. At the end of this round though, you get to roll a hit die, Karen. We did auto hits? Like you don't have to roll a die? No, no. It auto hits. Oh no. Okay. Anything else? No one else hit Callie. I like to keep the drow alive. I said nothing of Callie. No, that's my turn. Oh boy, Kla-Kor number two. Who moved last? Tatiana moved last. The Kla-Kor is going to barrel straight through this bush.

Oh boy, here we go. And use charging shoulder. Get ready. Here we go. It's gonna target. Here we go. Oh, it's gonna get a plus two. Damn it. Okay. Twelve is gonna miss, Tatiana. Oh my fucking god. Yeah, that would have been rough. Kla-Kor number one is gonna target Larg. He wouldn't dare. He's also got the... He's got Bane. Yeah, he's got Bane. He's got Bane. So let me roll a d4. That's a d4, right? Against? Yeah, it's a d4. Okay. So d4. So negative four. Yes. But he gets a plus two from the Kossil demon. So negative two. Negative two. And he's gonna run and try to use charging shoulder against Larg.

Here we go. Crit one. Rolling on the table. Oh, wow. How does this work? Wardrobe malfunction. This Kla-Kor is naked. He gets a boner. Oh no. Okay. How embarrassing. So, okay, here we go. Normally this would be, you know, the armor would be messed up, right? If it's not wearing armor, then it's pants or robes fall down, but that's not... Yeah, so he's gonna get a negative two to his attack just because it was embarrassing. Not that the Kla-Kor feels embarrassment, but he tripped or something. It's fine. So now it's a negative d4 and a guaranteed negative two. That Kla-Kor might not be hitting shit.

Thank God. Yeah. So Drow warrior. Oh boy. Can I roll my hic die? Oh, yes, please. Yes. Okay. Roll your hic die. Thanks. Cool. That's an eight. Nice. Then you got that, got that cauldron strike back. Sorry. She's unconscious. She won't remember. Nobody tell her. Man, where did the frost come from? I feel like each one of us has to hit another one of our friends because, you know, Elaina cut off Cauldron's arm, you know. That's true. I've been thunderclapped numerous times. We're not talking about what I've done. We're talking about what everyone else has done. All right.

Drow elite warrior is going to target Kaladin because these are pretty big winged target right now. Right? Bring it on. Okay. So fire in that hand crossbow. That's a ten. Oh, it was a sixteen rolled over to a three. So that's a ten. That's going to miss. Going to go wide. Castle demon number three is going to swing at Larg this time with advantage. Multi attack. Here we go. Fourteen will miss, guys. One more time. Nineteen will hit. Yeah, okay. What the hell just happened? Oh, for bless. Oh, concentration. You succeeded. You're fine. You're good. So sixteen damage, but you succeeded.

Braylon, you got a castle friend next to you. I see him. Yeah, this is not part of the plan. After this thing tries to hit Braylon, he's going to do the whole Sam going under the cave troll thing. But then he does get hit, right? Yeah, I got my little bones. Got some fractures in my bones. It's like you just get like gut punched by this thing. And he looks up at it and he's not having a good time. So he's going to cast, I think, Bane again because it's not concentration. And I'm going to cast it at level two so I get to pick four targets this time. And I will select Mr.

Castle number two. K'l'Kor is still bained, right? If you here's the thing, I think you could assign that to him. Oh, yeah, the effect. Yeah. Yeah, so we don't forget it, right? I'm just making sure that it doesn't go away. It lasts a minute. No, that's like, no, no, we got it forever. You should be fine. Yeah. All right, so castle number two and then I'll go castle three, castle four and K'l'Kor two. OK. Oh, God. And I'm going to burn my inspiration on this one. Whoa. So I'll cast it. How do I do advantage basically, right? Yeah. Cast it. Well, that's a lot of die.

That's a lot of die. Oh, wait, no, advantage is the highest number. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, OK. OK, so we dropped a five, nine and a six. What's your spell save? 16. They all failed. Sweet. They all failed. So bane them up. OK. And then I will. I got to move from these fuckers. I got a whole bunch of them, right? Well, no, you got the one console demon. Now, there's there's a whole bunch. There's a bad boy number four here. Yeah. I mean, you know. Yeah. Todd is pretty popular. I don't see it. I don't see the effect on number. Who's this fucker here? Number two and number four didn't get it.

I'm going to put on. OK. For some reason. OK. Yeah, I think I'll stay there because largest got his little protection thing. So, well, and finishes playing instrument looks at Largans as you got my back, right? He's like kind of shuttering a little bit as he puts the loot on his back. Probably. OK, good. That's the end of my turn. Talk to you. I'm so perfect. Tatiana is popular and I don't like it. That's right. So I'm going to use my cutting action again and disengage. OK. And then I'm going to move back here and then I'm going to try to attack. Castle one. OK, so that's the one.

Yeah, that's the one back in the bush. I think you're jumping in this bush and three demons jumping in. Exactly. That's exactly what happened. OK. Thirty one. Holy shit. That'll hit. OK. Well, seven damage. Hey, man. It's damage. Damage is damage. And at least I'm not surrounded for now. That's true. So Casa one, the one that you just hit is like, yeah. Hey. It's going to right up here and it's going to attack Tatiana. Multi claw. Thirteen's going to miss. Twenty two is going to hit. Fourteen damage to Tatiana. Castle number two is going to target Braille. And I'm guessing you're imposing disadvantage on the first one.

I would like to pose a disadvantage on the second attack this time. Oh, all right. But the first one hit him. Who cares? No, no, no. You promised, Lord. Here we go. I said probably. Twenty. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. With a minus three. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, I didn't want to help. OK. Yeah, I'll take it. I'll take it. Fifteen damage and oh, you succeeded. Oh, that was close. Oh, it is concentration, man. Yeah. Oh, OK. Then you know what? I can't put it on the number one because I technically broke it to put on the new the next three. So if you can take it off number one, I will take it.

Thank you. All right. That's OK. Hey, look, and learn man. It's OK. There we go. So we're imposing disadvantage on the second attack this time. Yes, please. Let's not drop a three to take a four or whatever. Eleven's going to miss. Yeah, we're dropping that 15. What was it? Twelve. Twelve. OK. Larg. All right. So he's going to slam the haft of his hammer on the ground and the head of the hammer is going to light up bright, blinding white. He's going to use and get back to this. I closed my book. Too many abilities. Level 10. Something something smite. Yeah, exactly. Sacred weapon.

Oh. So from this point forward, for the next minute, my attacks have add my charisma modifier to them. I'm buffing up, guys. I'm going to start attacking soon, I swear. But that's my action for this turn. So, OK, you know, Mario mushroom. Yeah, I buffed everybody else last turn. I buffed myself this turn. You're hulking up. That's exactly just I'm just breathing heavy right now. Elena. OK, I'm very excited. I do have a question, though, because I forget every time we play. If I have like maneuvers that says when you hit a creature, do I still have to like say that I want to do it beforehand or I can wait until I actually hit it?

You can wait until you actually hit it. Tight. OK, I'm going to go after castle three. And let's hope I hit because then I can do some fun. Oh, then I can do some really fun stuff. Plus two because you're standing next to Lark. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. 18 hit. Oh, plus 10. That's beautiful. That's insane. OK, so when you hit a sweeping attack, when you hit a creature with a way melee weapon attack, you can expend one superiority die to attempt to damage another creature with the same attack. So I want to choose click or one. And if would that 18 also hit the click or one?

Yes, would then it's going to take. Two damage. OK, two damage is two damage. The damage of the damages of the same type dealt blah, blah, blah. OK, and then I think I just do regular damage for this. I do. I use another superiority die. OK, damage for you. Six damage. If I roll a one or a two on damage. OK, something something. What? OK, hold on. So that was to castle three. So I got to undo that. Yes. So you can roll again. Yes. OK, so to castle to castle as me castle. Get out. He's practicing. OK, reroll that die. OK, yeah, might as well just redo the whole thing.

Well, OK, same exact thing, but that's OK. So that was my turn one. My second attack. I'm going to try and hit castle three again. All right, let's do it. Fourteen will miss. Oh, OK. And I have nothing then. OK, that's OK. Castle number four is going to, well, he's lonely. Going to slide on up here behind Elena. No, Braylin. You would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Braylin looks like a tasty snack. So going to target going to target Braylin with advantage swing. Oh, 11 on this. But I get another one. Oh, I'm fucking dead. Oh, my God. That's a crit. We're rolling on the table. Skywalker, the target's hand is removed at the wrist.

OK, but imagine if it was called it. Braylin is a part of my hands. Yeah, this is bad. Oh, do you have there's nothing you can. Nope, I can't stop it because my shield only gets me up to 19. Well, here's the thing. There's a rub here because you're a revenant and you regenerate. Kind of. So I guess I have a baby hand for a little bit. You have a Deadpool baby hand. Well, I mean, it's up to you, Jason. I know revenants do in your area. Well, here's the thing. This is this is kind of unprecedented, right? But if you were to die, you regenerate. So if a piece of you falls off, I would count that under the same banner.

Like it might not be immediate, but. Yeah, we'll get to this after the battle, but right now you got no hand. And the damage is coming to. Yeah. OK, get ready for this damage, guys. 30 damage is going to knock. Yeah, Raylan out. I was like, what, 12 short? Yeah, all veins have expired. That isn't great. Callie, now's the time, baby. Here we go. Give me that con save with disadvantage. You're going to you're going to do it. You're going to do it. It's 16, baby. We're going to drop an 18 to take a 15 and your plus one. That's a 16. Callie. You're awake. It's your turn.

OK. Thank you. So Callie's eyes are going to like like just like you're going to it's like who shot me. So you're going to you're going to wake up. But you are tied up and we'll have to deal with that in a moment. Talden. OK, here's what I want to do. OK, I would like to come over here ways. And from a top. Blast a cone of cold down onto click or one and cook or three. I so. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. So let's try to visualize this because it's not a flat cone. It's come. So like I feel like I feel like you'd be shooting down on top of. Larg and Elena to maybe even Braille and and Casa for.

Well, that's what I want to try and that's what I want to try and figure out, because it cones to my understanding, come from a point and then they go out to their their biggest whatever. Right. So coming from up top, that would be like a diameter, like some kind of radius, you know, if I'm like coming straight down on something. So I kind of want to like create a diameter where in the click or in the castle are within that perimeter, but not my allies. I think that would work if if Braille and Ames basically in front of the clock or and causal the that ending diameter of the cone could just get them like, OK, if you're here and you're firing down behind them.

Yes, but it is it is like a like picture, a megaphone or something like that, that that kind of cone so that it does flare out. So, yeah, we just have to make it known that you're like shooting it back here down that way. You know, I mean, like, ah, holy shit, that's oh, my God. Well, it's it's so that's what I'm trying to figure out with this, because it's it's like it's a 60 foot cone, but up then I'm just like firing it down a little bit. You know, it's not like the full. Well, that's true. You're 20 feet high. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. OK, so I told you I was going to make your life complicated.

My God. OK, OK. Let's all do fucking trigonometry. OK, OK. It's a OK, it's a 60 foot cone. It is a yeah, it's a 60 foot cone, but from a point of origin. So like if I was here, I could maybe like shoot down and just get, you know, like just get them or something like that. That's OK. That's kind of what I'm trying to aim for visually. If you if that makes sense. OK, hold on. Let's do this. Let's make a 60 foot cone just to come. Oh, that's why you're an idiot, Jason. Yeah, and then see how what the diameter is at 20 feet. Yeah. So so you're trying fun, you guys.

I hate this. So you are. So you're 20 feet above the ground and you want to base. You're not directly. I knew you would. No, no, no. You're fine. But I'm going to do it anyway. No, you're fine. So if you're here and so it's the thing we said. I think so. I just. Yeah, I wanted to like check and see if that was ruled OK, if that was something you know. I don't care anymore. I mean, technically projecting it on an angle like that, it would end up being an oval. But like, I think we can just go with a circle and it should be fine, you know. OK, so I'm going to get rid of this.

OK, thanks. Thanks to everyone out there listening to that completely visual. We got it, though. We're going to do it. OK, so called in floats over on on top of these people. He sees Braylon in trouble and he's going to try and fire down this kind of cold on on these demons. They're going to make a saving throw. Let's see. Click or one is going to succeed and console three is going to fail. So it's just the console, right? Yes. That's getting the damage. Yes. The core is still a troublemaker to be Jesus fucking Christ. Forty three damage. That's dead. And then I'm going to try and hit this click or with some.

Some cantrip. OK. 21 hit. Eleven damage to the click or so just this huge blizzard just comes shooting out of called in his hand and then the concentrated bull. It's this click or right in his back. Good lord. OK. Get away from him, you bitch. Click or number two is going to run at Tatiana. So her and it is going to use charging shoulder. And it is going to get advantage. And it's going to miss. Oh, my God. Thank you so much, Dice gods. What? I love you so much. Thank you, Karen, for sacrificing. Thank you, Karen. Click or number one is going to go and it's going to move down and it's going to target.

You know what? I don't know what's going to do. Hold on a second. It's going to target Alena. So it is going to. Yeah. Target Alena, not large with advantage. It's going to use clubbing claws. Wait, why is it with advantage? Oh, because the other guys on the other side. Yeah, that's good. Oh, almost a crit. That is going to hit. And was 16 damage, 16 damage to Alena all the way up top. Drow elite warrior is going to take aim again at Kaladin because this is officially a problem. This is this is this is now an aerial campaign. And that's no bueno. Fucking crit one.

He's going to roll the same thing. Cut off your own hand. No, it's going to roll the same thing that Kaladin did. I'm sorry. And he's going to hit this click or in the back. Jesus, God, what a matter. Are clickers affected by poison? No, they can't be boys. I didn't think so. Yeah, but still, it's going to take this crossbow damage. What? Seven damage to the click core. Braelon, give me a death saving throw, please. There's something I haven't heard in a while. Even with the bless, I'm still fine. Tatiana, you're you're popular again. Why am I so popular? I don't know how to shake these guys.

Because I don't want him to just keep charging me, but I don't want to stay surrounded. But I think I have to. I guess I'm just going to attack Kossel one. All right. And I'm going to do it with my short sword because I'm in close range. I can't shoot him. All right. 25. That'll hit. Nine damage to the castle. Hiya, get out of here, you. Scram. I see it. Kossel one's going to react. No. And target Tatiana and swing with advantage. We're going to drop a four to take a seven. That's a 13. And that will still miss. What is happening? I'm rubber. You're glue. We have the power of Vecna.

He's going to swing again with advantage. Drop a two to take a five. That's 11. It's going to miss harder. You know what? It's just all building up. There's going to be one like from this. Just cut your head. Me as exactly what happened to me. Oh, my God. Let's target large. Castle number two is going to shift its gaze over to large target. The advantage. 23 will hit. Oh, that's still. That's me. That's me. Targeting you. Here we go. There you go. That's that's going to hit. That's going to hit. 16 damage to large. You are going to succeed on that concentration save, though.

What a bitch hit. What a bitch. This cost. He has succeeded on that one. Oh, let's drop a one to take an 18. And that'll hit, too. That that's 12 damage. You're going to succeed again. Still a bitch. He's a bitch. Larg, your turn. So Larg watches Breland go down and Larg's been carrying Breland for a long time. I agree. He's been carrying some guilt about the state that Breland's in anyway. And then this castle turns around and double taps him immediately. Larg's going to rage. Oh, shit. Yes. So the downside of that means I lose bless because I can't concentrate somehow.

But I do retain that that blessing on my weapon. So I'm going to turn around and I'm going to swing at Kossil and it's going to be if I hit this thing. It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot. OK. OK. So we target him. Right. Where's my attack? There we go. That's a two. Yeah, I'm going to use inspiration on that. That inspiration. I'm going to use that inspiration. We're going to roll that again. And that's a three. Jesus fucking Christ. Are you kidding me? Well, it's good thing I get a second attack. Yeah. So I'm going to lose my mind and I'm going to attack again.

That's twenty five. I thought you were going to roll a four. Shut up. So because Larg's barbarian classes gave him the path of the zealot, he gets an ability called Divine Fury, which means his first attack when he's ranging does an extra one d six plus one damage. OK. But I'm also going to expend a level two spell slot, which means I get an extra three d eight damage to this attack. OK, roll all that extra shit and then we'll just attach it. So here's the d six plus one, of course, to OK. And here is the three d eight for the barbarian thing. So that's an extra 16 damage.

Yep. On to my damage roll. Let me do a plus 16 modifier. And wait, you're doesn't your weapon automatically give you your charisma mod to. To the attack. Oh, to the attack. Now the damage. Yeah. So it wouldn't have helped with those first two attacks unless a. No, unless the 13 would have hit. No. OK. So in that case, no. And so now we're going to roll damage on the war hammer, which is going to be plus 16. And it's going to be 25. Oh, you're going to clobber the shit out of that. Yeah. You're just going to rock it. The chest. It's like, whoa, whoa. Come from. Yeah.

Hopefully I got his attention now. And that's my turn. Oh, my God. Alina, we've got a conga line going. I guess I'll just I'll try and finish off this click or initial. Wow. Listen to this. Just off just what the F's. Yeah. And we'll see what happens. OK. 18 will hit, though. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, I have minus minus two. Yeah, you lose bless. But I gain advantage, but I have a I mean, a plus two because Larg is next to me. That's true. So, OK, fine. That's fine. That's fine. Nice. Still in 18. That's fine. That's fine. I'm just making sure. Just make it sure.

OK, be honest. I'm going to use sweeping attack. OK, so I assume the 18 also hits castle for. Yes, it will. Let's see. I think I just do a superiority die and that's the damage it takes. Oh, no. Five. Yeah, five. Right to the castle for. Yep. Then, OK, I use superiority die. I'm going to do damage if I roll a one or two damage roll. Let me undo. I love math. I do all the convenience. OK, let's do it. OK. Yeah. OK. OK, so that was attack one. Attack two. I'm going to hit the click core again. 18 will hit. OK, I'm going to use sweeping attack again then. OK. And a castle four is going to take nine damage.

Not bad. Not bad. Then we're going to do damage for click core one. Seven damage and still not dead. No, it would. OK, would it be is it pretty close? Because I forgot to roll for my cantrip. I roll two d8s and I only rolled one. I was pretty sure Elena was going to wipe this thing out. Go ahead. Roll another roll another d8. I should subtract points from math. And the hardest math. All right, sorry, give me a sec. Damage, rare frost. Two. A gentleman's two. A gentleman's two. Thank you. Thank you. No, that's all. Oh, no, I'm going to action surge. OK, because I want it gone.

That makes sense. I don't blame you. OK, here we go. Fourteen will miss. Dang it. You have such beefy attacks. Yeah, dude, that's. Yeah. OK, that's the end of my turn then. Elena's a natural. That's what I'm learning. Who is she swinging at? Does she get the plus two for being next to me? Oh, oh, yeah. Shit. Yeah. Oh, shit. Thank you, Jamie. OK, I'm going to use sweeping attack. Fuck it. Back to the table in time, I got up to get a beer. Eight damage to cost of four. OK. Good, good, good. And ten damage damage. One noted. And he's still not dead. Still not dead. I thought you were going to take him out.

He's a brick house that caught the click or. OK, well, that's the end of my turn. All right. Three attacks is all we get. Castle number four is going to target Elena. With advantage. Going to swing twice. Whoa, whoa. Drop before take a 16 22 will hit. 16 damage to Elena is why is it advantage? The click or that you can't kill standing in front of you. Wait, but I know. So we get a plus two and they get advantage. No, it's flanking you. They were on the opposite side. Yeah. Oh, then what the hell are me and Jameson doing? Standing next to it. Oh, OK. So if you're not directly across, it's plus two.

But if you're like literally flanking its advantage. Yep. Got it. I now know you will probably have to remind me next time we fight. That's OK. No problem. I like the indignation in your voice. Like, wait a second. Advantage swing again. Dropping a two to take a two. Eight will miss. Howie. Oh, well, I don't know how to hand riposte. I'm sorry for attacks. I just think she keeps using the sweeping attack to hit the thing in front of her and back for I do just picture her twirling around with a blade. That motorized. OK, so I make a melee weapon attack against it.

Then I add this period to the text image role, but I'm already doing it. So who is hitting me? Castle for. Castle four was hitting me. Yeah. OK. You mainly 20 yet. So then I roll a D 10 and get to added on to my damage. Oh, my God. OK. Eighteen damage to the castle demon. I'm done with my reaction. Beautiful. OK, Kelly, you're awake. You're feeling refreshed. Yeah, also, I forgot I was tied up. That is an inconvenience. Well, yeah, because I was going to go heal everybody. Well, I guess I'm just going to turn into a fox. So I'm tiny and then the ropes don't matter.

Nope. You can wriggle clean out of those. Cool. And then I guess I will use the rest of my movement. So technically I didn't stand up. Do I stuck with my full movement or is it like a half movement? What is it, an action to turn? Yeah. I would still count you laying on your side as a fox. OK, so I stop my full movement. Well, you got to stand up. Whatever. I mean, foxes can lay down, so it's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, bar legs are not that long. OK, OK. You know what? I'll give you an extra five feet. OK. OK, so I'm going to move closer to Kaladin. Five, 10, 15, 20. All right, Kelly, you're up.

Someone hit you with a frost ray. I don't know that. OK, we need him alive. OK, let's do calculus. Yeah. Are you ready? No, unfortunately, all my calculus spells, everyone's too clumped up for me to know. I was ready for some special relativity equations. Let's get some time travel going on, y'all. I like it. Some primer shit. I like it. OK, give me a sec. This snuck up on me. I got to see what I got here. That cube. OK. I know. I know. I know. All right. I'm going to draw something. Let me just see. It's a fucking rhombus. Yeah. OK, so I'd like to I'm going to be controlling some weather.

I'd like to hit the click or and the castle for in here. I think it has to be going through at least half their square. Oh, gotcha. Like that. So, OK. Would that be would that be hitting Tatiana? No, because it doesn't go through half of their squares. Gotcha. Gotcha. That makes sense. All right. We're going to do called in snowball swarm here. And he just like make some weather happen up over their head and all of a sudden these like hail balls are just like falling down. And they're going to make a deck save. So. Oh, no. Wait. I think you're targeting an extra castle.

Yes. Oh, yep. I did. Castle two. That should not have hit. Well, I see. Oh, yeah. OK. So I think they take half damage. OK. Yep. Half damage. Just getting hit with some of these balls. Colvins balls. Calvin's cold balls. Colvins cold balls are coming in hot. Yes, that that's that's it. Yeah. Oh, do they have advantage? They have advantage. Yeah. Oh, no. What does that mean? Why is there a happy face? Because they have advantage against saves involving magic. Oh, no, thank you. Please. Please not unsubscribe. No, please. This usually works. I don't understand. I swear this never happens.

Click core number two is going to target Tatiana. Oh, buddy. Oh, pal. Now let's see if this luck holds out. Oh, no. Here we go. You know what? You know what it's going to do? It's going to back up to here. Now, I want you to get get in a get in a melee opportunity to hit it. OK, I get to piss it off on the side. I have to target 17 will hit eight damage to the core. It is going to back off next to this bush and it's going to lower its shoulder kind of like just like a bull. It's going to like fucking like stomp its feet and just kind of like kick and it's going to run straight for Tatiana.

Plus two. Charging shoulder. I can't look. 26 will hit. OK, uncanny dodge, though. OK, tell everybody at home and myself, what does uncanny dodge do? It's not that fancy or anything, but when I get hit with an attack, I can use my reaction to half the attacks damage against me. No, no, no. OK, that's good. I know. So I need that. Because it's hitting you with charge and the charging shoulder, it's going to do 5d8 plus four damage. So that's a lot. But it's only half. But it's only half. So, OK, here we go. 5d8 plus four. 31 damage cut in half. 15 damage to Tatiana.

That's that's a lifesaver. Holy shit. It really was. OK. Why is this cliff clore so obsessed with me? God, I don't know. What perfume did you put on? It's obsession. Yeah. Good lord. Go on number one. He's going to target Elena because you keep hitting it. Clubbing, clubbing close with advantage. You know what? No. It's going to. I don't know. This could this could be bad. Oh, no, don't. I think I know what you're doing. Don't. Oh, just hit me. Ah. Shit. See, the problem is someone moved. It's going to whip around and face Callie. And it's going to start to it's going to lower its shoulder and it's going to start to charge like all of its momentum.

Just I want Larg and Elena. To swing attacks. Oh, my God. Opportunity. Oh, my God. No, no. We got to kill it. You're less you down this fucker. I'm still a fox. Like, can you even see me? Yeah, I can feel you. Take to the skies. You both hit. Oh, we do damage, do damage. Eight damage to the click core from Elena. Thirteen damage will kill that. Look, core. So it is going to turn. It's going to turn towards Kelly and it's going to like just get ready and start running. And you're going to stab it and hammer it in the back. And it is going to go down face first in this this brutal lump on the ground and just kind of dig a small trench in the dirt with its with its momentum.

Click or number one is dead. Nice. That would have been nasty. It's like a cross attack. Larg and Elena. One down. Oh, Drow elite warriors going to target Kaladin. With his crossbow. He's what? Oh, for two so far. Here we go. Eleven will miss. I'm just doing loop de loops. Yeah, I don't know how the fuck he's missing the winged guy. You sit tight. We'll take care of you. He's going to check his crossbow sights like, what the fuck? Like, I'm elite and trained. I don't understand what's happening. Hey, Braylon, give me a death saving throw. Hey, I'm a person. I play this game.

No. Oh, my God. Because if I die, I come back again. Well, well, yes, yes, you do. You do. Wow, we got to sort out this hand thing. I don't know. Wow. Okay. Anyway, look. So crit one, full death. You've died. You've died. I'm dying. You've died again. You're getting used to this. You're pro. I've died as many times as Larg has, so it's not been killed. Oh, man, it's a race. Tatiana. Okay. Oh, shit. Hold on. Should, oh, can I perceive? I don't know why I perceived before. Okay, hold on. Can you give me, I forgot to do this. Can you give me a strength saving throw, please? Oh.

Jesus, that's a natural 20. You're fine. Oh, I need to have my bless taken off. Yeah, bless for both Braylon and Tatiana. Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't help Braylon, but yeah. Okay. That's it? You're going to receive? Oh, no, I was just saying, because earlier you had me roll a perception check. Oh, yeah. You said that you would have me do it later. Yes, go ahead. I mean, I don't want to do that for my turn, though. No, no, no, it's not your turn. Okay. So, like, I do think, okay, here we go. There's that. It's still nothing. Yeah, seven.

Okay. What do I even? It's tough because I feel like no matter what I do, I can't get away from this click or because it can charge me. So it's like, do I stay close range and give them a feels the vibrations in the ground where you're moving? Because it's blind, remember? Okay. So what if I disengage and sneak over here? You giggle, but let me try this. And then I'll shoot at the castle. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Are you okay? Although then the click would hear my bow. See, that doesn't work. And the cost would see me. Yes. So, okay, wait. First of all, you'd have to do a stealth check.

Yeah. But what I'm saying is I don't think that there's a point if I'm going to fire right after. So second of all, even if you disengage, aren't you still in the line of causal one line of causal one? Yeah. So like when causal one still get to do an opportunity attack because you're still next to it. Because if you disengage, you disengage. Yeah, you disengage. You're fine. Okay. Just kidding. I don't know how to play D&D. I think you're doing pretty good. You're killing it. I mean, I guess I'm not. I'm just going to skip the sneak part. I won't sneak and I will fire on causal one again.

Let's do it. Can't seem to kill it. 20. That'll hit. Oh, max damage. 11. Okay. Noted. So, causal. Come back into the Bush with me causal. Sounds kind of sexy. Okay. You know what? His lanky spiny body is going to saunter on across the battlefield and he's going to use blood frenzy. Oh, gosh, no. Oh, yeah. So he gets advantage against anybody who doesn't have all their hit points. So you're bleeding, caught up in a Bush and he's going to like, this weird old body. He's going to move on over. He's going to get advantage and he's going to swing on Tatiana. Drop it for to take a 20.

Oh, so cracking mushrooms. We're not going to sweat. We're not going to roll the table. Okay, but can I use my uncanny dodge again? Is that a reaction? Yeah, you can use your reaction to have the tax damage against you. Oh, that was last round. So you're good. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I just hope that I don't get hit more than that. But that's max. 25 cut in half. So 12 damage to baby. And he's got another swing. Drop it to two to take a 15. 21 will hit. 14 damage. You're not looking good, though. I'm really not, y'all. Suddenly Callie's the healthiest of us all. And Callie runs off into the woods as a fox to start a new life.

Bye. I wouldn't blame you. Jesus, castle number two. Huh. I just want to point out that castle two is a bitch. Noted. Castle two is going to saunter over and target lard and swing. 24 will hit. God damn it. All right. 17 damage. Holy shit. It's cut in half, right? Because he's raging. I'm raging, yeah. Oh, shit. Now I got to do math again. Do math, Jason. Do math. And you think about what you did. You do math and you like it. So, oh, jeez-o. Eight. Yes, I know that. Oh, sorry. I thought it was a muter. Wow. What a bitch. Is that how you talk to me when you don't think I can hear?

Yo, that's going in her highlight reel. That's the highlight reel. Yeah, it is. Yeah, you're yelling math at you. Eight, you dumb prick. I'm not. I was trying to type this. You know what? The castle's going to swing again. Fucking crit. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. We're all going down. No table, though, right? Yeah, table. Oh. The court cry. All allies that can see you gain inspiration. But not the click-or-baby. Yeah, I can't see you. You're right. Jeez, that wording. Fine print. So the click-or-is guy, what? Like just doesn't know. All right, here we go. 30. Shit, I got to do math again.

Why did I do that? 15. That's easy. Yes, no, I know that, but I have to take it away from-- So it's 83 minus 15, 68. So, OK. Good God. Larg, your turn. Still thinking you're a bitch? Yeah, I do. I'm going to bitch smack him with this hammer again. Larg's still raging. You're right. So Larg's going to attack him. So we're going to go like this. 15 will hit. 15 will just hit. So we're going to drop another second level spell slot to do another 3d8. And we're also going to get that divine fury going, so that's another d6 plus 1. So there's the d6 plus 1, that's 3, plus 3d8, which is this. 13 extra damage. 13 plus-- I forgot this last round.

I get 2 just for raging as a barbarian. Oh my God, so 15. 15 extra damage. So let me put that on my modifier here. One, five. We're going to roll damage. 23 damage to the castle. Okay, now I'm going to hit him again. Oh my God. Because I want to. I'm sorry, I was just thinking about how 14 will miss. Well, but I do have that ability going on my hammer, which gives me plus 2 for my charisma modifier. Oh, so that'll hit. Yeah, so I'm going to hit him anyway if that's okay with you. Yeah, that's fine. You earned it. I don't get the d6 this time, so I'm just going to take the plus 2 for raging, and also I'm going to burn my last level 2 spell slot for another 3d8.

Oh Jesus Christ, that. 14 plus this. Hang on, I'm not done showing this bitch who's boss. How's that? That'll kill it. That'll kill it a lot. I'm going to kill it as much as I can. You will liquefy its skull. I'm sitting here thinking about how I'm going to wake up in a cold sweat to Valerie's fucking voice shouting math at me. Like I'm the dumbest motherfucker on the planet earth. Eat you, rube. I only have like one hand, so I'm trying to move my mouse over. It wasn't the anger wasn't at you, it was more at me trying to figure out how to type. I don't know.

Why do you only have one hand? You know what, I don't want to know. It's fine. You're nasty, oh my god. Hey, you're the one using one hand. I don't know. Alayna. I'm going to kill the castle 4. You're going to attempt to kill castle 4? No, I'm going to kill it. Okay, I like your positivity. Jesus Christ, that's a 20. She's going to kill it. One try. All allies that can see you can't disperse. Oh my god. That's the third time. Okay, so I'm going to roll a d20 and we'll see what happens. That's the big one on the left. Oh, I saw two and I got excited. Okay, extra 14 damage is still definitely happening though.

And... That'll kill it. You killed it. You did what you said you were going to do. I picture before you took your swing you held your fucking sword out like Babe Ruth and you just... That's just like right out in front of me, right? Yeah. Like I'm staring down the line, the sight of it. Swords don't typically have sights. Well, neither does a baseball bat, but that's what Babe Ruth did. No, well he pointed to the outfit like he was... He's like, I'm going to hit a home run there, like that exact spot. Well, yeah, I imagine that she pointed it right at the castle and was like right there.

It was more the... Never mind. You did it. Oh, okay. I'm gonna... Because that was my one attack, so I can move as well, right? Yeah. Okay, I am going to get up in the Kla-Kor's face. Oh! Well, I know that I watched another demon chase Tatiana into a bush. Like I don't know what they're doing in there, but I want to give them some privacy. Tatiana's roving with one hand. Yeah. Oh my God, okay. I'm gonna attack the Kla-Kor. You sound so disappointed. Oh my fucking God. Well, that's another crit. Crit. I feel like I should ask, because she's wielding a godly weapon, does it get a bonus on crits?

Yeah, that's what my plus 14 has been. Oh, that's what the plus 14 is? Yeah. Alright, I just want to make sure. Well, we're not rolling on the table this time, so no extra extra bonus inspiration. Yeah, all y'all have inspiration. I got like three inspirations at this point. And I don't have any. Okay. Do you fucking need it? I'm gonna roll a d20 and I want it to be a 20. Oh, that's closer than spin. Okay. Um, okay. Extra 14 damage and then damage. 21 damage to the Kla-Kor. Okay, now listen, I rolled a one and a two. You son of a bitch. Like sometimes I let it slide because I was like, well, technically that's a security roll.

You have not let it slide once, don't you dare lie to me. Yes I did. Oh my god, how dare you say that to me? You're lying to me in front of God and this table and I will not have it. No, because I had a superiority die that I was supposed to add to a damage roll and I rolled a two on that and I didn't say anything because it says any damage dies, but technically this is a superiority die that I'm adding to a damage roll, so I didn't say anything. How dare you, sir? A. Re-roll your damn attack. Okay. Uh, are you good? You don't have to... I already did it. Okay.

While you were yelling at me again, I already did it. You try, you try to call, I'll call you right back out, sir. Wait. Oh, I had to... What are you doing? Sorry. Wow. Okay. That high horse is getting a little less high. Uh, I will just... Re-roll another d8, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Six, eight. So that's a one, so that's 19 plus six damage, 25. No need to shout at me. Uh, we... I only shout when it's necessary. Or when you think you're muted. Yeah, or that. Uh, Callie. Here you go. It's about four years too late, but we're gonna heal everybody. Um, I'm gonna... Air body? Huh?

Air body? Yeah. Everybody. I am going to cast a fifth level, Mass Cure Wounds. Holy shit. Um, and I'm gonna center it on Larg so that I can hit all of us. But I don't know if it doesn't heal Braylin though, 'cause he's dead, right? No, hold on. I'm dead. I'm dead dead. Yeah, you're dead dead, and there's... Oh boy, hold on. We'll deal with the hand, we'll deal with all this stuff, I promise. Uh, so we got, uh... What do we got? Go ahead and roll your, uh, your heals, please. Okay. So 19 healing to everybody. Oh, uh, before I did that bonus action, turn back in too.

Yeah, I'm dead. Okay. Why did that not heal me? I targeted myself, I thought. Uh, I don't know, I'll do it. Okay, thank you. You're healed! Thanks! That's all I could do. Okay, uh, let's see, we got Kaladin! Kaladin on the main stage. Okay, I pick him. Kaladin's floating up here, and he can kind of see into the bush this castle, like, on top of, uh, Tatiana, and it's like snarling and scratching at her. And so he's gonna see that she's in peril and, um, just gonna shoot out a bunch of icicles. I'm gonna cast magic missile, but I'm gonna cast it at, uh, at the end of the round.

At fourth level. So that's gonna be one, two, three, four, five, six. Six magic missiles, uh, uh, uh. Uh, so they're just automatic hits, so let me count them out. One, two, three, four, five, six. Five, three, five, three, two, four! That's my social security number! Well, that's, that's gonna be unpleasant for the castle demon. Not gonna like that. Okay, you know what? And then that's my turn. Okay, click horn number two. Done with this shit. I'm done with it. Click horn number two's gonna back up. Go ahead and take your swing. Oh, that's right, I get to hit it!

No, you get to swing at it. You're not hitting it. Well, we'll see about that. Okay, 22 will hit, but... But your heart wasn't in it! Seven damage to the click horn. Alright, fine. It is going to lower its shoulder and charge at Elena. Critmas calling it. You ain't, no. No way. No way. What, it doesn't know? It doesn't know, she's been right before. Eh, I... What if it fucking does though? I call voodoo. Oh my god! What? Oh my god, you're fucking kidding me. How are you kidding me? You're magic in real life, you're magic. Shit. Go buy a lottery ticket. Oh my god! What are you still doing here?

Get out of here, go! Wow. Oh, right now. Give me a hit. That's going in the highlight reel, I guess. So, that click horn's going to miss. Critmas, as a matter of fact. It's Critmas. Merry Critmas. Christ. Oh man, wow. Uh, I'm a little stunned, I'm going to be honest. Well, you guys, I fucking called it. What do you want? Well, now my question is, why the fuck haven't you been doing that the entire time we've been playing this game together? If you've had this innate X-man power for all this time... That's my superpower, I can make a computer and punch some 1s and 0s.

Not to be that guy, but I think Valerie should get inspiration for that. Say your words, though. Wow, Jason, I think you're so right. I can't believe you said that. I'm reading the chat, and you know what? Just because the odds are so against it. Yeah, you know what? I think you should get inspiration because... Not only do you have the power to just say, "I'm going to crit and do it," you also have the power to dictate what the goddamn monsters are going to do. So, you know what? Oh my god. Now let's see if Khaldun's luck holds out as a drow elite warrior who did not master...

Come on, buddy. He didn't study crossbow, the art of the crossbow, it must be short sword. So let's fire off! 13 will miss. Jesus Christ, that's 0 for 4. I told you to settle down. He is officially a stormtrooper. Tatyana! Okay, I want to see if I hit first. Wait, no! I'm using inspiration. Hold on. Okay, I didn't want it to be my turn. I'm sorry, no. I can't let this stand. I'm going to shoot this fucking winged sorcerer. I didn't even have to say it. If you want to just edit that part out for your pride, Jason. What pride? Tatyana! You have every right. Not only did I interrupt you, I interrupted you to fail more.

Okay, so I'm going to see if I hit, and then if I hit, I want to see if my damage will kill it, and then can I explain how I want to kill it? Absolutely can, sure. Or I don't hit. But I have inspiration. Everyone has fucking hit. I'll try again, sure. That'll hit. Yay! Okay. Well. Not quite. Yeah, that's okay. Very close, though. Casa 1. Still using Blood Frenzy, still attacking Tatyana, still has advantage. Drop it to 14 to take a 19. 25 will hit. Oh god, 16 damage to Tatyana. But I only want half, though. Okay, so that, okay, let me, oh god, okay, hold on, it's 8. 8. 8, Jason.

You mook. I have to take the 56 and negative 8. 48. Okay. Alright. Here we go. Advantage again. Attack. Hey, 21! You gotta take the full one for this one. Wait, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Jason, I think you changed the health on the castle, not Tatyana. Larg. Take us home. Somehow. So, Larg is going to... Larg's raging. I'd like to roll an intelligence check for whether I'm going to do the obvious thing or whether I'm going to do the smart thing, if that's okay. Uh, sure. It's your character. Okay. So I'm going to impose an intelligence check on myself just to decide what I'm going to do here.

Just say crit before you do it. Yeah, I'm going to get a crit on this. No, I just want to roll intelligence. If I get a 10 or higher, I'm going to do one thing. If I get a 10 or, uh, a 9 or lower, I'm going to do the other thing. I got a 9 or lower. Alright, I'm going to attack the Klykor. Okay. So I'm going to jump over Brainerd's lifeless body. And I'm going to attack this Klykor. This first attack is going to look alike of this. 19 will hit. Okay. Plus my Charisma modifier, so that's a 21 in case that makes a difference. You need more? Yeah. I don't have any more spell slots, but I do have that d6 plus one to throw out there.

So that's a 6. Oh, 6. And that's going to be actually 8 because I'm raging. So we're going to do 8 plus this damage roll. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. 14 will kill it. And I've got another attack, so I'm just going to continue to beat this thing to a pulp. And that's my turn. Alayna! Larkstow, you kill. Yeah, um, we'll have to talk about that later, Lark. I'm gonna jump into the bush! Whee! And I'm going to attack Russell 1. And I get advantage because now I have some Tatiana. You do! I know how to play this game. Oh, we're going to drop a 7 and take an 8. 16 will hit.

And, uh, no, there's nothing bonus this time. I don't even know what to do. 11 will kill it! Fuck yeah. That just leaves. Oh shit, it just leaves the guy who summoned all those demons? Sure does. Right about now, he's sweating. Uh, Callie. Wait, this is the one that summoned them, not the one that clubbed the shit out of me? No, the one that clubbed the shit out of you is long dead. But this guy summoned a bunch of demons. He did. Wait, um, I'm sorry, am I allowed to, like, split up my move into two things? Right? I can do that, right? Can I just, like, use the rest of my movement to get closer to the next guy?

Yeah, I mean, it'd be like three more seconds. Yeah, that's all. Thank you, bye bye. We all just start moving in slowly. I'm creeping in. Niagara Falls! I'm gonna point at him, and I'm gonna... What is happening? Um, I'm gonna cast Blight on him. Oh no. So, he has to make a... Con save. Wow, he rolled a crit. He does not want to die today. He still takes half damage, so... Wait! Wait, wait. Did that do full damage? No, it did half, but hold on, okay, hold on. Never mind, he's done. It's fine, he's fine, it's fine. Whatever. Okay, it's necrotic damage. Well, I don't like that.

Stop it. Okay, Calvin. I can cast Hold Monster on this bad boy, right? He's not a monster. I mean, he's a monster to me. He's a monster in my eyes. I mean, technically he's a monster, right? I... Okay, let's read the spell. Hold on. That's weird. What's the difference between that and Hold Person? I think Hold Person is like... People. Not... Monsters? I don't know. I don't know the wording of it off the top of my head. Maybe it doesn't say creature. Maybe it says actual people are humanoid or something. I guess. So, yeah, let's do it. It says creature. That's a pretty loose definition.

Okay, so, Calvin is going to come down slowly, descend, land on the ground, and then he's going to point at this drow and say, "You are not going anywhere." And then you see him concentrate, close his eyes, and again, we don't really see what's happening on the outside. This is kind of happening on the inside of him, freezing up muscles and necrotizing flesh. And he is going to be held in place. Let me do... It's going to roll a 22 and succeed. Well, I'm going to use the last of my spell, my sorcery points. I've been saving these just for this occasion.

The very last to use my sorcerer trait, my metamagic. While when you cast a spell that forces a creature to make a saving throw, you can spend three sorcery points to give one target of that spell disadvantage on his first saving throw against the spell. So let's see if he can get lucky again. Crit miss. I'm going to try... Oh, I've got to do it? Oh, okay. That sounds good. Wow. Wow! 23! So we'll drop the 22. Or we'll drop the 23 and take the 22. Man, he does not want to die today. I take all of his arrows that he's been shooting at me and just break them in half.

Oh, good God. Okay. So, hmm. Drow elite warrior. I'm just imagining a bad boy theme playing right now. What you gonna do when they come for you? He is going to... dip. Yeah, he's going to break into a full sprint and start running away. Oh, you don't want to do that. What a fucking bitch. I mean, he's not going to fight fucking five or six of you. We just killed all these demons and that's what he has to say for himself? Yes, that's common sense. I was going to attack him and do non-lethal damage, but now I will chase after him. Oh my God. So here's what we're going to do.

To the horses. Get on the horses. Someone grab Brailin. He is going to... he's going to see this and go... He's going to take off into the woods and you're going to give chase. And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. We got a Drow on the run who has answers. We got a handless dead Brailin. Actually, well, I mean, he's not handless. He's a mostly dead Brailin that could really use a hand. I'll accept that. No, you don't get to take his shoes. Death is not funny, Jason. Serious. Because if I die for real, I'm coming back as a monk. And I'm sorry everybody, you're not going to get any magic.

That's going to happen. I think we've reached a point with group B where death is so casual and he's like, "Ah, he's dead. Look at him." Well, I mean, hold on. Okay. Dead minus one hand. Settle later. One Drow. This is like a fucking... this is a Simpsons episode now. This isn't a Drow with answers. This is a dead man with answers. I mean, like, how fast is this guy? Well, he's a magic user, so he can't be very athletic. Somebody take care of Rumpdropper. I do have, like, an Entangle spell, which is a 90-foot range. Should have done that. Well, it wasn't my turn.

That's true. I mean, I could have done it instead of lighting him, but I kind of was feeling a little bitter. Experience pain. It's like, "No, we have to stop him." Pain. You have elected the way of pain. What a little dark side, guys. Ooh, come on over. Take a dip of toe. It's nice. Where are some animals? Oh, yeah, this is gonna be... this is gonna be rough, guys. Great. Please remember, we are day one on our trip to... Day one. How's everybody's spell slots at? How we doing? Very bad. I have zero superiority die. I'll give you one day. Day one. I only used two spell slots, guys.

Like, I still have three, six, nine, twelve, thirteen spell slots. You just have the secret shame of being body slammed as a giant eagle. Yeah, we never saw that. But nobody will know, except for me. And we all have inspiration. No, we don't. No, I used mine. Yeah, but did you use it again after you got it back? Or did you not get it back? I don't think I got it back. You got it back? Yeah, you created it twice, so you gave inspiration again to everybody.