Fresh Baked Cookies

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(CLINKING) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators. Rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. ARK 3, Episode 27 of the DNR Podcast is brought to you today by WorldAnvil.com. It's time to get your home game in order and share your homebrew worlds with WorldAnvil. WorldAnvil is an extensive group of tools to get your game into shape and share it with the world.

You can use it as a wiki for D&D 5e or 30 other major game systems. Keep track of your towns, your cities, your NPCs, and much more by using WorldAnvil today. And guess what? You can get 20% off a 6 month or 12 month subscription to World Anvil just by using the codes DNR or Dungeons and Randomness at checkout. You'd be supporting a great group of folks and I highly suggest you check them out today. Previously for Group A, after battling the Fang two consecutive times in the town of Dernhollow, the gang was finally defeated, but at a major cost, as Clifford died in combat and Mattie, Masoka, and Donovan were bitten.

And that's where we pick things up today. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table starting with Xavier. Hello, I'm Xavier and I play Donovan, Vice the Human Fighter Paladin. And Robert. Hey, I'm Rob, I'm playing Skalnar Hisk, the Dragonborn Paladin Rogue. And Kelsey. I'm Kelsey and I'm playing Aster, the Elven Fighter Rogue. I've reached over 200 hours of Animal Crossing. Achievement unlocked? No, not on a switch. Well, I've had to do an update because the last time we did that, so just let everyone know.

Oh, you're right, yeah. Now, listeners at home, take a guess at whether that was a week, a day, a month. Who knows how long it's been since the last one was reported. Time doesn't exist anymore, it's fine. And Michael. Hey, I'm Michael and I play Anven, the Half-Elf Wizard. And our Twilight couple. Susan. Put this together and finish each other's sentences. I can't do it. Wait, were you gonna do like a... Like an impression? Were you gonna do like a Christmas tune-up? Like when you do the answering machine message as a couple? Oh, oh god, no, don't do that. That's just creepy.

Yeah, no thank you. Hi, I'm Susan, I play Madeline Riewen, the soon-to-be-vampire-human cleric. And James. And James and I play Masoka, the Half-Elf Rogue, dying soon-to-be-vampire. Scum. Well. Well, last session was rough. I think we could all agree on that. You lost a party member, which... Well, we haven't posted an episode yet, so... I still don't know how people are gonna take that. I know how people are gonna take that. I know how people are gonna take that. Yeah, I know how people are gonna take that. But that's fine, that's fine. Some people are gonna be happy.

A lot of people are gonna be happy. But, well, three of you are bitten and two of you know that, you know, meta-wise, that you're gonna be vampires. So, before we jump into things today, how are you feeling? Susan and James, are you okay? With the outcome? With how the events have turned? Yeah. I'm okay with it. Okay. I'll play it. I'm struggling to make it work for Maddie, but I think I could. It'd just be a journey. Okay. Let's see where it takes us. As these children play outside, I hate them. So we're picking up, we're picking up in Darnalla. And you guys have chased down this group of vampires and exterminated them all.

Sadly, we lost Clifford. Papa Grimnus is dead. After this fight, I would say to a degree, Misook is probably a little sobered up. Like, you know, the blood's pumping, you know, there's that, you know, you get hit, you get whacked a few times and, you know, you, you know, it's gonna snap you out of it a little bit. What do you guys want to do here? Like, how would you react to seeing this utter carnage, like just laying out in this alleyway? Who's first? So I know, like, after it hasn't been, like, I mean, they were like, far back, like they haven't seen any of it yet.

And just like after everything, they just kind of like, take a few moments just to breathe because that was a lot. Like, really, I'm like, as far as like, from what they can see, everyone is still alive right now. So they're just like, wiped out and just taking a few seconds before they get closer. Would Skelner count this as a win? Being as how you, like, you're not super close to the party yet or anything. Like, would this be kind of job done? All these vampires are dead? I mean, that's too simple, right? Like, there was, there was a significant cost.

So he's, he's kind of waiting to like, read the group. He's taking it all in. He's clearly, he's not like, celebrating by any stretch. As the Haste spell is wearing off, like that wave of lethargy, it's gonna wash over Donovan. And he's gonna stumble over to like a wall of a building nearby and just as he walks, drop the weapons he had in his hand and kind of like, undo some, untie some straps and like, let some gear fall off as he just rests his back on the wall and sort of just slumps down and like, lets his whole body just slide down to the ground and just kind of look up at the starry night and just take deep breaths.

And just like, panting and looking back at the group, but barely even able to like, talk or you just, he's just out of, out of everything. And then does the same, but he's been healed, but he's still exhausted and his clothes have tons of blood, but it's all dried blood. There's no open wound. And he, in looking over everybody and looks back to see the carnage behind him. Did Skalnar, I remember right, you ran back to Donovan? There was a lot of back and forth. I actually can't remember where I ended up long, no I think I ended up closer to the rest of the party long term.

I think you gave the final blow to Papa Grimnus and then the other vampire probably. I think you were with Donovan. Yeah, I remember you pinballing back and forth quite a bit. Yeah, yeah, I was like, oh, I gotta be here. I gotta be there. Oh, geez. Okay. So yeah, I don't really know, actually. The master will kind of like walk up towards the group and then they're gonna do like, like, just like looking over everyone to see, okay, no one's in like real dire straits. It doesn't seem, I mean, they're kind of like, we're positioning this being, which is not unusual in a lot of fights, they haven't really been hit at all, but just like stress of seeing it after all of their friends like getting pretty badly hurt and also not being able to do much against these vampires is pretty rough.

And then like after they kind of like do that, they're just going to kind of pause and then sort of look around at everyone and then look to the sides and they just see like blood and everything and just, where's Clifford? Well, I think Masoka, if he hadn't been down already, he's probably down now, at least down on his knees, and he's probably got his hand on, I guess he got bitten in the neck. And because that's probably throbbing and sweating and his eyes are probably stinging from the sweat and he's trying to look around and, you know, to see how everyone's doing.

And if he hears Aster say, where's Clifford? He would probably start looking for him as well. Just while this was going on, Maddie does her usual of it going to business mode. There's injured people, got to heal. So I'm just going to start doing that while this unfolds. Are you going to go to Donovan? Yeah. He, like if you come close to him, he put his hand up and go, Don't, don't I? I put you all in this mess. I don't need, I don't need healing. I don't, not now. Maddie falters for a moment and then she actually digs into her pocket. I know this seems odd timing, but I got this for you earlier while shopping.

And she throws you something and it's a holy symbol of a Laundra. Maybe you could try healing yourself. He'll, he'll stare at it and he'll nod and he'll look back at you and say, go take care of the others. Maddie. I'm so sorry. I should have been the only one who got bit. She's just going to kneel down cause she was close to you and just put a hand on your cheek and just look at Donovan right in the eyes. It's okay. It's not your fault. And then she'll stand up and start assessing the rest of the party. At this point, I think Astor starting to get a bit more panicked.

Like Clifford hasn't appeared from anywhere and they're like really like starting to like look at the bodies and stuff. And like, I think a second glance. Yeah. And you, yeah, like you'd be able to see it. There is for anyone rounding the corner and anyone not knowing Clifford, they would see a small, like, you know, 11, 12 year old looking boy, you know, dead, like just, just in a heap of blood. Yeah. As soon as they like see that and they're just like still for like a moment as they're like just connecting what they're actually seeing. And then they just kind of like collapse a little bit, like just sort of like fall, just kind of like on their knees.

Like they're still like holding onto like their boat. I haven't put anything up yet and they're just gonna kind of just, they're just like staring at his body. So the boy, he, he was a vampire. Yes. I mean, you, you did not have a child combatant, right? That. Right. He, we, we saved him from the Countess. It's like we didn't do much better after all. And, uh, so Skalnar walks a little closer to the carnage and says, was he older than he looks? I, I must confess, I do not fully know how vampires age. And, uh, he looks a little closer and he says, especially one turned so early.

Hmm. He, he was a child. He was just a kid and he just had a bunch of shitty stuff that happened to him. And we were going to take him to Aubrey cause there are other vampires there and it's going to be a place that he could learn to live. Was he, uh, was he raised in violence? Was he, was he always a combatant like this? I'd say he was more inspired by us than anything else. I hadn't known anything prior. I think, uh, by this time, Masoka probably, uh, clued in on where he was or whatever and saw him. He'd come walking up to and just look down at Clifford.

Uh, this is, this is my fault. This is all of our fault. No, the kid looked up to me. I, I encouraged him to get into this. And then I, then I took away his weapon. This is, this is all of us cause this is what we do. We just run into situations and it somehow works out except then it doesn't. And that's, and when he copied us, we just kind of what told him not to do that. Just sort of yelled at him. Just, we need to, we don't even know if he had family or parents that made it out that would be with the refugees or anything. If there's anyone that would care about him that was just a kid.

Donovan would approach the group slowly for that conversation. He'd put his hand on Esther's shoulder. For all we know, we, we were his family and, and yeah, we cared for him and Masocha, Esther. This, this is the Fang's fault. Everything that's happened to Clifford is the Countess's fault. We've done everything we could for this kid. Did you? I mean, clearly at some point he was encouraged by his abilities and his company. Perhaps he could be a part of what you do, what we all do. I was teaching him how to shoot so that he could stay in range at least. And again, the plan was once we got to Arbor, he would stay there.

He wasn't supposed to be with us forever. We were just taking him somewhere safe. He was just a kid who was given incredible powers, who's seen probably the most insane fucked up shit back at the castle. The cruelty must have witnessed with the Countess. I can't even imagine. I can begin to imagine what Clifford saw. And what, what do kids do when they get a big sword? They want to, they want to swing it around and seeing that he was with us, he wanted to improve, impress us. He wanted to prove himself. This, we tried what we could to stop him, but he was, he was Clifford.

He, he was such a strong kid. There was no stopping him. We could have talked to him like a person, but we don't talk to each other even. Just all of a sudden we come back and we're running after a group of vampires with no rhyme or reason. I mean, well, there's reason, but just, I'm not supposed to be the person that's saying to take a step back and think and talk about stuff. That's not who I am, but that's, we don't do that. And it's, and how he's dead. Pastor, it seems like you'd rather blame yourself than blame the thang and the Countess. I don't, the moment we got here in that alley, we turned the corner.

They already slaughtered Clifford without remorse, without hesitation, he was dead. His head was cut off. These bastards, they killed a kid on sight. The Countess's kid, the one who whose parents she killed. And yet here you are blaming yourself again. Well, yeah, and that's fucked. But this vendetta against her is just, I mean, we could barely even take down her grunts. Like that's just going to get more of us dead. Yeah, and that's right. It's only going to get harder from here. So if anyone here wants to drop this, then now's the time to stop. But I'm, I'm not backing down.

Let's, let's clean those bodies up and go sit down and, and talk. I asked her, you're right, we should, we should talk. But let's, let's bury Clifford and let those bastards burn in the sunlight. We should check to see if they had anything on them important or whatever. Yeah. Masaoka would probably, whatever flask or flasks he had on him, he'd be dumping them right now. This would have gone a lot different if I hadn't gotten drunk. I was shit out there and I could have saved somebody. Regret can be a powerful motivator. Hold on to that. Don't forget it. I will not let you forget you've said it.

Who are you again? Oh, yeah, I was going to ask. Guys, this is my friend Skalnar. Skalnar, this is the rest of the Fearless Titans. But what? He, I, Skalnar, I, I'm so sorry I roped you into this. But I don't think we could have all survived without you. And I'm in your debt for the help you've given us today. No need. This, this is my calling. Bringing justice. Now, granted, we could have done better. We're going to figure out how to do better. Because this, this is not something we can keep doing. No, it's not. Let's, let's find a place to bury him. What if, what if we don't have to bury him?

What do you mean? And Maddie's clutching her, her amulative monitor. I, I could still feel a spark. I, I think I could try. Wait. Did he, you mean like, bring him back? That's a thing that you can like actually do? I, I could, I don't know. I could, I could feel something. I, I've never, it's, it's different. I don't. Would it even work? Because he's like, was already dead? Isn't it, isn't it a good sign that I could feel something? It's, it's a wonderful sign, Maddie, but. I don't know anything about this stuff. That's, I mean, I didn't even really think that would be possible.

Think about last time though, how much we paid for, for that outcome. It took a toll on all of us as a group. We, we barely made it out with everyone back. And he, he, he'd take your, your hands with his hands too. Like he's not trying to be like to, to like block your idea or tell you what to do. But even if Clifford came back, do you think he could live on a normal life after all he's been through and come back possibly without his powers? Do you think he would stop putting himself in danger? Oh, so he'd actually get the chance to like grow up and stuff?

I don't, I don't know. He, he could grow up and have a normal life, but he could also carry with him an insane burden, insane trauma for the rest of his life. He could turn out like Masoka. And he says that with a smile, of course. He could turn out like any of us, you mean. Masoka doesn't, doesn't take the humor and actually like pulls up his collar to cover his bite. Oh, you're one of those guys. He's, I didn't, I was going to say he popped his collar and I thought, right in for him to use. Okay. Oh, so he's super cool. Okay. He's a lot, he's a lost boy.

Just keep yourself in the way. Anyway. And then comes up to Mattie. What do you mean you can feel him? It's kind of like when I heal someone, I, I, I feel their energy, my energy infused with theirs, but this it's, I feel it there. Whatever's there. I, I don't. Even if you even try it, I mean, Don, Don't even just said, do you remember what happened last time in Aubrey? I mean, this isn't blood magic. This is, this is what my God has given me. It is not without a price though, right? No, but isn't a 12 year old boy worth it? As the person who would pay that price, I think only you can decide.

No one can ask you to do this, but if you choose. Mattie, we, we grew up together. I'm going to say it. I'm going to be selfish. I would rather not trade you for him. I don't want to lose you. And then we go down and we, look, we've lost too many people. I don't even, I don't even know how this works. Mattie is going to flip her braid to the other side and it was covering up the gash on her neck. And she's going to say, you may have already lost me. Fuck. I immediately try to sense magic, do some kind of like, you know, check to see what I can, like, obviously I know it's a fight, but like, I've never really dealt with a vampire.

So I don't know if it's innately magical or maybe it's the virus, I think, but I don't really know that. I don't think, unless you could tell me, they cover vampire 101 in Umineura Apology. It's an elective. Yeah. It is a magical virus. So yes, you can definitely, it's not like a spell or a ritual or something like that, but there is like trace amounts of, you know, you could, you could pick something up, you could sense it. So essentially that could be from the bite itself. It's not a surefire, like you're infected or you're not like you'd probably pick it up on Donovan too.

OK, so then I'm going to try to tune in and sense that. And then since you're saying I picked it up on Donovan, I guess I could. How, I don't know how close everyone is, but would I feel the pain from both Donovan and Masovka? I would say... I'm happy rolling anything. Well, OK, give me an Arcana check firstly. I'll tell you what you feel. Oh, nothing. Never mind. Go back to what you were doing. You're fine. You don't really pick up much. Basically, I think at that level, if you roll a 10, which is with the plus seven modifier. Yeah. It's basically... I'm good at it.

Yeah, it's basically it's like, OK, you're going to pick it up coming off of like Maddy, Masovka and Donovan. But again, that might be confused for the vampires in the alley and stuff like that. It might be like trace amounts, like residual stuff. So I'll say I have that like distant stare, you know, when I'm thinking, doing magic. You're not out yet. Let's find there's something about this. There could be any number of answers out there. Don't don't cut yourself out yet and try to just... I'm totally just in denial. I agree with Amvin, Maddy. Let's... The three of us and he looks at Masovka too.

We need to focus on the living for now. We need to focus on living for the days to come. We're going to need it. We're going to need each other. Masovka is going to need you. Do you even know that Masovka was bit? I mean, it happened in combat, right? Well... I think you were at the other end of the alley, though. Should I roll for it? Okay. I'll describe it like this. It's probably not subtle being bit in combat by a vampire. Well, it's not subtle. Okay. Combat's pretty chaotic. It is, yes. The way vampires work in Theria, it's not like the... it's not just like the top fangs, Bram Stoker's Dracula sexy bite.

It's fangs on the top and bottom of the jaw and they rip chunks out. Like, there would be blood. Like, they are... it is not a subtle act to bite somebody. Okay. So we're missing pieces of ourselves. Like little bits. Yeah. Like, you know. So if you'd rather me not know because you puffed your collar up and you disguised it, that's fine too. I'll just retcon what I said. No, it's fine. I mean... But it also makes sense, like, out of like even not knowing. But here's the thing. Again, there was enough going on in that combat and everyone was so scattered. Here's what we'll do.

There would be blood everywhere anyway. Give me a stealth check. We'll see if you were the zombie bite guy. It's like, oh no, I'll just pull my sleeve down. You still have disadvantage? Let's say he's sober to none. I think two sessions is a higher penalty. You deserve it. You've earned it. Oh, shit. Wow. Well, he didn't notice it. Despite your collar just getting soaked. Okay, so what that means is that Misoka is just otherwise drenched in so much blood that you've sent there. I bet everyone's probably drenched in blood. Probably, yeah. It's a real, like... Aster's fine.

It's a real 80s metal music video in here. So that's a crit. So that's a 29. You pull your collar up and over your head and disappear. Like you just... you're gone. Even the vampire was like, did I bite him? Did I bite him? I don't know. So, T'au'avan wouldn't mention Misoka then. He'd show his own neck wound and he'll be like, I'm gonna need you, Maddy, the next couple of days. And I'll be there for you too. I don't think Misoka's clued in enough to know what Maddy's talking about. But as the conversation goes, it's kind of like, oh, she's gonna be doing something that could obviously risk her life or something.

And he would see that she got bit, I assume. Unless she's trying to hide it. No, no. She revealed. Big reveal. Hair flip. Look at this. Yeah. Then I think Misoka would go up to her and just... She's like, Maddy, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you're willing to put your life out there for someone else right now. I just... I don't think... not just me. I don't think anyone's ready for that right now. Do you have to decide now? I mean, I don't know how... This is not the area that I mastered. If you don't do it now, is there... it gets worse? It feels strong.

I think maybe a few days. No, not a few days. A day? I don't know. At least a day. I just don't want to make the decision that my life is worth more than someone else's. Then maybe we should take a day. Talk. Maybe half a day. And really figure out the craziness that has been the last few days. Jason, what kind of time of night is it? It was late enough that the sun is set, but the bars are still all open and stuff like that. Let's say by the time all this is said and done and you guys have had a nice chat about everything and time to process, let's say it's like 10, 30, 11 o'clock, somewhere in there.

There isn't an eclipse going on or something, is there? No, not yet. I don't even know what in the timeline we are at as far as that thing goes. The 8th of Ultaorn. So it's coming. You all seem to need a moment, so I will be the one to talk. Does that sound good? My name is Skaldar Hisk. I introduced myself to Donovan formerly, but we have only gotten to know each other in battle. Myself and the rest of you. You are all very competent at this. I saw that much from fighting alongside you. But you are worn out, emotionally and physically. We do need to stop and rest.

You need to clear your heads. Madi says she thinks she can do this later if she so chooses. So take your time. Do I have a question for you, though? What do we want to do with our foes? Are we cleaning up or are we sending a message? Do we want to let the Countess know that her days are numbered? I don't want more of the Fang to come here and punish this town for what we did. I'd rather them turn to dust in the morning and let it be the end of it. The Countess, I don't think the Countess would notice if her pawns would go missing. Fair enough. Good point. So perhaps we get a cart, move the bodies outside of town where they are less likely to generate rumors?

I could take care of this. We don't have to move them. Before we should see, especially on the tiefling, if there was anything important, I don't know, orders from her, like what they were even doing here. I don't have a little gesture at Kalra's to ask her, like, by all means. Yeah, I mean, I guess search the bodies just to... Let's search some bodies! So let's run some pockets first. Give me 5d10. Ooh. That's that one. Thanks. Beautiful. You're gonna find 29 gold. Okay. I would say, while you find a couple of weapons and such, I wouldn't say there's really rare items or anything like that, but you will find a couple of items on Kalra's.

Clearly he was the leader of this group and you're gonna find a key. And you know what? Give me an investigation check. Can I ask Amphin to investigate it for me? Yes, you can. Of course. I will hand over the key to Amphin to look at it. Is the investigation check for the key or to further search the body? No, no, key, key, key. We're gonna need a key ring for all these keys we keep finding. I don't want to talk about my int score. It's great. If you kind of like hand it over to Amphin and are like, hey, what do you make of this? Scalnar volunteers to assist you, Amphin.

Hey, nerd boy. Okay. So what's the role to assist again? Oh, it's just, yeah, just whoever's making the actual check gets advantage. Okay, I will roll to assist. I will roll poorly to assist. Holy moly. It's been a long one. You don't even need to roll is the thing. Oh, I'm just assisting. Okay, you just say, oh, I'm looking too. And that is how it was not against me. Very good. That was easy. Yeah, that was bad. Wow. Okay, Scalnar is quote air quotes helping. I guess. Let's add Scalnar's eight to twenty five. All right. Great. So this key is clearly older. And Amphin has been to a place recently where that key would probably fit in just fine.

That would be the Countess's castle. This opens some door there could be the front door could be could be some hideaway chamber, something like that. But this is clearly a key to that place. Guys. Yeah, this this key is maybe a ticket in secret way in if we ever come up with a plan to go back to the camp, Countess. Yeah, the architecture in here looks the same of castle. Is it architecture if it's like a design? Are you going to argue with that in score, Kelsey? That's like, because for all they know it might be. Because I don't know. Like, wait a second.

I thought, like, is it? If you look at the inlays here, you see how this curves? Whatever you say, bud. Wait to get those angry emails from architects. Key nerds. Like, after, like, found this key, it's like I just kind of like shoved it at and it's just like, this is for you. You're also going to find a note. The note is explicit instructions for for this crew of vampires to shake the people down and essentially see how malleable they are, whether they roll over quickly, whether they would give some pushback and then report back. To the countess to see if there is any incentive to push outward.

Well, Astor will hand that over after reading it to Anbun. Just, well, there's our ticket to convincing Winterhaven to help. Agreed. If Skalnarr gets a moment to like look over the note and read it, he goes, looks like we answered her question. Yes. And just like, I don't remember, but did we end up leaving with the countess, like a letter from the countess, or we just took her word from it when we left her castle? Like, oh, this is what I'm going to do. I won't encroach like outside. I believe there was a note to take, like a like a formal like you're on notice type of thing like.

Yeah. So that like that would come in direct contradiction. Like it'd be like, oh, yeah. Laying both sides, basically. Basically, she's getting ambitious. Cool. OK, this is great for us. That's great for us. Is that Donovan saying that or? Let's celebrate. OK, cool. So what does it say? All right. I guess we got we got what we wanted from them. Great thinking, Astor. Yeah, this is definitely our ticket to convincing the others. Maddie. Let's let's get them all in one place that'll make this easier. And then after we do that, get them all together. Maddie is going to do Sacred Flame.

Oh, that's hot. Yeah. So this blinding white light engulfs them and then that white light, you can see flames dancing from it. Like that's how intensely hot this light is. Are we talking all the bodies or? Not except for one. OK, yeah, that's what I just wanted to clarify. At a certain point, if this older woman is going around the corner and see this, like see the flames. And you can you can kind of hear her as she gets closer, kind of shuffling, like she's kind of wearing like flip flops type of thing, like sandals. Like you can hear her every once in a while there be like like loose dirt or stone, something like that.

Just kind of a kind of smaller, shuffly steps. And in a weak voice, she's her version of calling out. Are you all right? So I was answered. Just long silence, you all just look like everyone in this party is covered in blood. Bye bye. And she just leaves. No, no, no, she's just like, I like really good, though. Honestly, if she man, she lets roll perception. This she's she has eyesight troubles. Yeah, this ain't great. Eight. Ah, she. She. Even with an eight, obviously, there's a fire and it's a big one. And like you got like you guys don't look great. Like she might not see.

She's definitely not seeing that pop collar like that's that. We know that. But like, like there's some degree of disheveled going on with everybody. And you guys just look distraught. So like the clothes, she's not going to like shy away because at first she might think it's like, are they warming themselves? Was there an accident? Something like that? Because it's not like a not like a trash can fire where you guys are all getting warm. This is like a huge bonfire that you don't want to turn around and like approach her. With extended arms, like, oh, yes, everything.

Everything's great. My young lady, we just have a couple clerics of a monitor over here preparing for the the the the Everlasting Day Festival. Wow. Getting the flames going. Did you just invent a holiday to this woman? Oh, maybe Everlasting Day Festival Day. That he's going to walk out. Wait, wait, wait. You're busy with a fire. You roll, you roll a deception. Don't you dare. It's like cantrip, sir. Oh, my God. God damn it. There's so many new holidays, I can't keep track of them. I know. Me too. I'm not a practicing a monetary in myself, so I don't. When is Lent?

Who knows? Really? Have a good night, madam. It's been a pleasure meeting you. So, OK, wait, Maddie is approaching her, right? Or not now? No, she would be, but then she just... What? That's what her face is doing. Now she's just standing there with her arms crossed, looking at Donovan, going, what? OK, Skalner will try to step in and clean this up. Where are you headed, madam? You lost? These streets are not necessarily safe at night. Oh, my home is just around the corner. I heard a commotion and I just wanted to make sure everyone was all right. You... She's kind of at a loss for words.

Skalner will step up beside her and stick out his elbow and say, would you like me to escort you the rest of the way? I know I would feel more comfortable if you were not in this alley with... He looks at our party, strange things going on. I thought you're calling them strange things. Not wrong. Kettle black right there. Well, aren't you a sweet, scaly man? That is what my wife tells me. She'd do that thing where she takes you arm in arm and then she'd pat your forearms. Such manners. You don't see that too often these days. You are welcome to join me for tea.

I don't say this lightly, but you all look a little worse for wear. It is a bad time for tea, but... We should get you to safety. Come, lead on. I understand. Perhaps another time you have the vampirism to deal with and such. What? The stomper just blinks. What was that, ma'am? The vampirism. The... And she's going to point at Madi and Misoka. You two. You're dying, right? Even under his hood you can see Misoka's eyes get wider. Why don't you join us for the festival, ma'am? Well, it is a little chilly, but... Little fresh air has never hurt anyone. And she's wearing a shawl.

And she's going to pull it up a little bit. Like, "Now I'm ready!" That type of thing. I ask her to whisper over to Donovan, "Didn't you get bit too?" Yeah, that's what I want to know. Oh... I don't know what's going on anymore. Yeah, Scoundrel is mouthing to Donovan. The "What are you doing?" mouthing. Yeah, Scoundrel charges. "I was taking her back home. What are you doing?" And she joins the party. Alright, quick, give her Topo. "Alright, you sons of bitches!" And then she just runs in. "This one's for you, meth guys." "This is what you get, you damn face." Misoka would like to know more.

Yeah. "You seem unusually well informed about vampires. Is that common knowledge in this town?" "Oh, no, dear. It's, um... You could say it's my purview." And she's going to turn to Donovan. "Don't worry, son. You'll be fine." "Ma'am, are you magic?" "Are you magic?" "Are you magic?" And then literally sighs. "On a scale of zero to unicorn, how many are you?" I've asked that of my mechanic once or twice. "Oh, okay, you got it running. Are you magic?" "If I give you a shake, does pixie dust come out?" "Yeah." "You're an angel." "I'm afraid I don't quite take your meaning, dear." "No, no, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

I wasn't even bit." "But... She just said that Donovan was... How did... There's a lot that's been happening tonight, and..." "Okay, I know about lying. She could be lying. Okay?" "She might have saw vampires running around here before just like we did." "Why would she lie?" Okay, so Skalnar will pipe up. It says this party has clearly collapsed into confusion. And just say, "Let's start over. What is your name, and what do you do?" "I'm being terribly rude. I am so sorry, young man." "After you've shown me such manners." "My name is Sable." "I don't really do anything here these days." "Functionally retired, for the time being." "May I ask your name?" I am Skalnar Hisk.

And... Well, I've just met all of these adventurers, but we are working together. Conditionally. I guess. It's a new arrangement. We haven't talked it out yet. Yeah, she's going to be looking around the party and taking it and sidling up next to the fire. And just warming her hands on it every once in a while. Over the bodies! Kind of, yes. She knows her way around vampires, I'm not going to question it. She's really had some fun history. Is she the witch from Brave? No, she's a hedgehog and she runs a clothing store. Yeah, I thought that one I heard Sable. I don't get it.

I don't play Animal Crossing. I'm going to assume that's where that's coming from. That's probably a good guess. You're dealing with people in the multiple triple digits here. Turnips. Turnips. As she kind of walks closer to the group and the fire and kind of just deflects every question we've been asking her, none of it's just at a loss for words doing the Jackie Chan meme face. As she walks in front of him, walks past him. So yeah, Skal'narr will pull up a seat beside her and say, "Well, Sable, how did you come to know so much about vampires?" Oh, it's not like they're new or anything.

I'm going to guess... and she's going to point at Mattie. You set this fire. Yes. Excellent job, dear. Really got him roasting. Masoka's going to look at Mattie and say, "Don't listen to her. You're not dying." Did you say that or just kind of like look at her? No, he says that to Mattie. She's going to turn to Masoka. Don't worry, dear. Death isn't so bad. It's what comes after you have to worry about. That wasn't the plan, of course, but you have to roll with the punches now and then. Skal'narr will start looking at her teeth like... Are you a vampire? Oh, like opening her mouth?

No, no, just trying to catch a subtle glance of like... Oh, OK. Taunt Depressor. Say, "Aww." Yeah, give me Perception. You look like you could use a very long and probing kiss. Yes! That's what our listenership wants! Drag an old lady cross. I've been waiting to roleplay this for years. You guys found my DeviantArt page. (Laughter) Let me just take these teeth out. Are they vampire? Like the vampire gens? OK, so I'm making a Perception check. Yes, you are. OK. 13. 13's not bad. It's not like she's moving around a lot. You're not going to see fangs. There's not a ton of older vampires that you know of?

I mean, yes, there are a ton of older vampires, but not a ton that live through being bitten that old. No offense to Sable. Just, you know, she's on the older side. Yeah, that's true, I guess. I wasn't thinking about that. OK, so at this point, Skal'narr is getting a little impatient with her. So he kind of just snorts and he says, "I get the feeling you know more and are more attuned to your surroundings than I first ascertained. So, why don't you just fill us in?" Yep. Plan? You said something about a plan. Was that like a general phrase or is there some kind of Destiny something going on here?

She's going to kind of smile. Like, the Destiny thing is like, "What a wonderful thought." But she'll probably pause for a second. I am being terribly cryptic. I am sorry. How about we just cut through the bull donkey? I really think you should come in for a cup of tea. Get away from all this hustle and bustle. They're not going anywhere. And she's going to be pointing at the pile of burning bodies. OK. Yeah, I don't know if it's going to nod. Do you have a place we could set the boy? And he points toward Clifford's body. Of course. I'm very sorry about that, by the way.

I take it you were close. Not me, but the others, perhaps. Like I said, I'm new. We didn't know him as well as we could have, but we were, I don't know, hopefully some kind of happiness. After a period of not that. Can I read her at all? I don't have a complete insight or something, but I just want to see if I can find any undertone in, as being said. Like, saying, "Come with us so I can make a lantern out of your skin." Or is she like, "I need that skin." Like, I want to try to get an understanding of who she is. I mean, yeah, that's insight, baby. Yeah, because I was leaning on, do I check to see if she's got a magical aura or do I want to check for it?

But I guess I really just want to make sure that she's not going to just try to kill us. There's a lot of us, but I don't know. You're afraid of this old woman, man? I mean, you should be, but I mean, like, the rest of you are pretty. Pretty able-bodied. I'm cautious of everything. Well, you don't get the sense that she's proficient in making lanterns of human skin. What about dragon skin? Maybe tea cozies? Maybe. I'm going to do one more. Donovan's going to furrow his brow real hard and wince at her and I'm going to expand a divine sense. Try to see if I can feel out if she's either celestial, fiend, or undead.

Or otherworldly, that is. You're doing that now? Well, kind of like as people are talking. So she'll probably be, like, if you guys are starting to motion towards her house, which is like half a block away. And Donovan's doing that. She's probably turned away from Donovan, walking in a direction, and she'll kind of turn back to Donovan and give a smile, like a sloth, kind of like an "I know more than you" smile. Yeah, his furrowed expression is just, everything's just relaxing and out of surprise, and he's just going like, "Oh, shit." And he'll just follow her.

And this old woman's house, it's so tiny. It's like one of those brick buildings that's way too skinny. Like, you walk in and it's clearly, you know, like it's definitely, like, very mildly furnished. When you walk in, there's like a kitchen area and a dining room set, like a nice little round table where everyone can sit, and that takes up a bulk of the first floor. And then there's like a set of stairs that leads up. And she would ask everybody to come in. There's like a sole lantern lit on the table, illuminating the area, kind of very dimly, you know.

"You could sit anywhere you like, please. Try to make yourself comfortable. I know you've had a terrible evening." Scowlnaw will take a seat. Yeah, Astra's happy to sit on the floor. And she'd light a fire and put like a tea kettle on or something like that. "How do you like your tea? Stronger? Weaker? I know it's late, but adventuring types could go all night, I'm sure." Yeah, hit us with the strong stuff. Astra will help, like, get like mugs out and stuff if she likes to do that. Like, you get the sense that she doesn't entertain company very often, so if the mugs are set like on a shelf just above her.

Mm-hmm. Yep, exactly. Thank you, dear. And as this, you know, this water heats up and everything, she's going to go ahead and get it all ready. So that this small space is just filled with that fresh brewed tea smell. These are very, very dangerous times. I don't envy you being out on the road so often, as tonight is such a grim example. Yeah, we've taught our fair share of trouble. Forgive me for saying so, but I was sensing some turmoil, a little strife within the group. It's more than understandable, of course, but is there something I could do, perhaps?

A third party you can talk to? We just had a very busy and infusing couple of few days, weeks. Every day has been crazy. Masoga's been, he never sat. He's been up, he's been agitated, he's been pacing back and forth, he keeps stealing glances at Maddie. And he'll just turn to the woman, Sable, and what gives you the right to come out of Noah and tell two of us that we're dying? You don't know anything about us. Why don't you come out and just tell us what you're about right now? Because I'm tired of this. Agreed. She'd probably be in mid-pour. Astra will give them a look like, "Please don't piss off the probably really powerful, scary magic lady." At this point, they're just in shock and exhausted and just like, "Yep, she's probably a god or something.

They don't know what's up. She knows more than she ought to, so don't make her angry. It's kind of where they're at." Donovan will pick up on that and kind of sit up straighter and with a big smile look to Masoga and just say, "Masoga, please, let's be polite. Let's listen to what our host has to say." Do I pick up any magical or at all? Oh, she's a whiz with tea. She's really good. This is a special blend. She's been saving this for God. Right. Because Evin isn't a true god-believing person or even he knows that gods of disobedience really care. So he's kind of like, "He sees Astra and is like, 'Oh, here's someone that can be really powerful,' but he's like, 'I don't feel anything, so...'" Right.

Like, it's one of those things that's like, "Well, how do you know?" Like that type, yeah. Right. He's the skeptic. Y'all are just like, "I never know anything, so we're just gonna go." Every time I think I know something, something else happens. Yeah, basically. She's gonna stop pouring and have a seat and probably sit back a little bit and cross her legs, just kind of getting comfy, like she's getting ready to tell a story or something like that. You know, a little patience would go a very long way, young man. But I understand your aggravation, your frustration in the moment.

I don't have any patience right now, 'cause the truth is I was bit. And he's gonna pull his collar down. I don't know who you are, but you got me scared. You telling me I'm gonna die? It's been a while since I've had company. I apologize for being so blunt. The news could have been delivered with a bit more tact. I'm sorry. If Madi's sitting, is he? Or wherever she is, he's gonna go sit down beside her, and he's probably gonna grab her hand. Actually, that's what Madi was gonna do, so good job. Alright. How do you know, desperately clutching Masoka's hand, looking straight into Sable's eyes?

Let me ask you all a question. And this is important. Please, be honest, because I'll know if you're lying. What do you plan on doing about the Countess? I know what I want to do. And she'll kind of raise her eyebrows, like, "Please, go on." She's taken two away from us already? Maybe that'll turn into four? As far as I'm concerned, she deserves to die. She's gonna look to the rest of the group. Do you all feel this way? She took my best friend. She's everything that's wrong. She has to be ended. She toys with the living. She steals from them, inserts herself as queen, as supreme leader.

She welcomes back the citizens of Dunhurst, only if they turn themselves to her. She'll release her pawns all over the mainland. No control. She has complete disregard for life. I'm gonna spend the rest of my young and healthy years getting stronger, to the point where I can take her down. Yeah, she doesn't seem like a good person. I just... I don't know what realistically we can do about that. I mean, she was right next to an entire city for forever, and they weren't able to do anything against her. This was like, not just... I mean, this was Dunhurst. They were good at fighting things, and they couldn't do anything about her.

I don't know how strong we would have to be to remotely pose a threat. I've seen things that just wipe people out in the blink of an eye without even noticing. Yeah, I don't know. And she's gonna take a sip of tea. Well, I understand your feelings on the matter. And she's gonna look at Masaoka and Maddie. As I said before, death is nothing to be scared of under normal circumstances, but no one should have to go through what you went through. What Ubo went through. What Clifford went through. No one. Okay, how do you know their names? Yeah, Eben now sits up straight.

He's like, "What?" The Astar here was already kind of terrified, just like, "Yep, that's part of the crew." Even Skal'Narr is like, you see his lips kind of pucker and all this going through his head. It's like, "This might be above my pay grade." Welcome to the group! Well, you all have some nice and warm tea. Why don't you all put your cups to your lips? Keep listening. Okay, that sounds like everyone's getting poisoned tonight. Yeah, absolutely! What's that tonic like? Well, the comet's coming, everybody. Get drinking. Take my mask off. It's a cowfish. Did we mention this was Kool-Aid?

I lost a lot of blood, guys. I think what Donovan is trying to say is, "Everybody shut up and let her talk. We are getting nowhere when we keep interrupting." Thanks, Skal'Narr. Skal'Narr nods. Before she goes on, while that was going on, can I just roll a religion? Go ahead. I don't know why you'd want to, but go ahead. Because she's super religious? Like everything's a sign from her god? Oh my god, she's a monocle. She's a monocle. Wow, that's a crit, everybody at home. What a great time for a crit. Good job, Susan. Yeah! Thank you. Thank you. It's gonna click.

It's gonna click for Maddie. Like a switch. Well, I must admit I have been keeping an eye on you for some time. I didn't want to approach. It seemed rude. But we've all been through so much. And for the most part, you seemed to want to help. And it just didn't seem fair. I keep you looking at Maddie dead in the eyes at this point. Tears are gonna start swelling up in Maddie's eyes. I don't normally do this, but these are desperate times. Have you ever looked around your house one day and realized how unkempt it is? Filthy, even. And it feels like you've just blinked and so much time went by.

There's dust and dirt everywhere. It just needs a good cleaning. What if I can help you all? I'm not averse to cleaning, if I take your meaning correctly. I mean killing, dear. That is the meaning I took. We are on the same page, yes. And she'd raise her teacup and take a sip like, "excellent, good." Yeah, Skalner like curls up into like a kind of faint, fangy smile. I'm no stranger to the undead. Vampires, specifically. But while I know that there can be exceptions to the rule, by and large, vampires like these, they're not going to stop, sweeties. They're going to keep going, town by town.

Just like this one, they sure enough will visit them in the night. It might not be as pleasant as a request next time, if you catch my meaning. They need to be stopped. The question I pose to you is... Will you be the ones to stop them? Just to confirm. This is a monitor, right? Slightly to the left. Okay. Would you ask that? No, no, no. Maddie can't talk. Did the tears go back up because she gets wrong? She's still crying. Oh, you're like openly crying. It's a pretty religious experience. Right, right, right. She would probably stop after the, "Oh, dear, please come here." And she would offer like a handkerchief.

Well, Masoka's not the brightest guy, but he's had contact with the monitor, obviously, and the fact that she said she's been watching them and... Even that, I think, is enough. He's going to ask. He will ask. So... And he's on the verge of crying too. He'll look up at her and just... You say you've been watching us from... Well, I don't know where. I mean, I would know if somebody was around. You couldn't be a god, could you? She'll probably take another sip of tea and grin and then put her finger up to her lips and just kind of, "Shh, let's keep that down a little bit while we're in town." Donovan will stand up and put both his hands on the table and look at her in the eyes and just go, "Oh, you can't count on me." Did you say "can't"?

Can. I heard "can't" too. "Aw, baby, I'm telling everyone!" She's like, "Alright, that was your only chance. Bye." "Roll for it!" "Shaking things up." "Well, you can count on me." "Well, that's better." So, Maddie has stood up and is shakingly taking the handkerchief. "My queen, why have you... why have you chosen us?" She's gonna... she's gonna kind of raise her hand, please. Sable's just fine. Well, a few reasons. I wasn't lying when I said that these are desperate times, truly frightening. And some actions need to be taken in order to keep a balance, and sometimes that involves giving the right people certain tools.

Now, I can't take care of the problem for you wholesale, but I do believe you people mean well. And I think you deserve a fighting chance for once. And she'd probably reach out and squeeze Maddie's hand, kind of like reassuring. Maddie will grip it too tightly for just a second, and then like, "Oh crap, nope, bail." Didn't hear a crack, and her hand is just knocked out. Oh no. I... I kind of just want to be like, "You know I don't worship you, right?" Let's not say you're not neat. You seem pretty cool, but... It's just I'm kind of on the light side, not the death side.

I signed up early, there's sunk costs, I mean... I've got a lot invested into this. Have you seen my medallions? I got lots. I just don't have any room for ravens. I got all this Sun memorabilia, I just... Oh. Gotta root for the home team. I... I... I'll happily serve. [sigh] Please understand that there is quite a level of danger involved in all this, but I don't ask you to do it lightly. And I don't expect you to do it without getting something in return. That's one of the reasons I wanted to speak to you all tonight. When you leave my home, one of two things is going to happen.

You can choose to head back to Donhurst and do what needs to be done. And I'll give you tools... that might see you have an edge. Or... you follow a different path. And perhaps I can find another group willing... willing to give it a try. Of course, there wouldn't... there wouldn't be any hard feelings. I understand what I'm asking you to do. But I think it's time that someone... balances the ledger a bit. Don't you? I think, uh... again... I am the new guy. But, uh... from what I've heard from everyone else here... you will find no more enthusiastic group... for putting that countess into the ground.

This is what I mean by, like, it's been very busy and crazy. Just one thing after another. As I... as Amvin grins. Yeah, Aster is absolutely terrified. Uh, I... Would they be showing that? Like, openly? Oh, they... like, so they kind of like sat down on the ground with their tea and like... when it was like, "Oh yeah, she's absolutely god," like, they just kind of like... curled up almost. Like, they have like, like, their, like, knees up and they're like... like, holding onto the mug and so like, drinking from it, kind of. But they just like, are just watching this and just like, not like, they don't... like, they're not gonna say anything because they don't know what to say.

They don't know what they're thinking, but they know that... like, well before she even got to the part of like, "Go back to Johnhurst right now and do this," like, they are just like... Like, yeah, like just... It's a lot. It's a lot to take in. Yeah, the concept of a god is... something that doesn't sit well with them and they are just kind of really scared right now. For Skellnar, like, what's going through his head is like, "Yeah, okay, I believe it. You're not like, turning it on though, so I'm probably okay." Like... Right? Like, she's not like, she's not like, surrounding us in a veil of dark feathers and like, looming before us with screaming winds or something.

It's like, "Okay, well, I buy it because I believe in gods. Like, I also know how to operate in a hierarchy and you're offering to load us out, so... Yeah, he's... for a minute I thought of like, "Why isn't Skellnar scared?" It's like, I guess he just like... He's like, "Of course there are gods!" And sure, it's strange that they're interceding, but this seems like a really efficient way to get this done. Basically a manager from a parent branch of your company. Yeah! Oh, it's undercover boss! That's what's going on. I know how to operate in a hierarchy.

What do you want us to do? So like, yeah, no, there's no like, the cold rushing wind and the... none of that. But like, you will hear... I mean, if she turns it on, it'll probably book on my knees, but... Right, right. And I don't expect a Gandalf moment where, you know, "Do not take me for some conjure!" Like, none of that. But like, yeah... My gosh, Jason, when you did that I could feel your beard on my microphone. That's right. Under attack. I do hit my head on a lot of stuff, so... That's what it takes to be Gandalf, right? Just head injuries? I understood that reference.

So, yeah, you're not going to say that. You will hear a squawk, eventually. And across the room, sitting on this little end table, will be this little black bird. Not little, but like, you know, decent sized bird. Mortimer, be quiet. We have guests. It's Mortimer! I love him. New favorite character. Can we keep it? Mortimer turns the party. Can we steal your bird? At a certain point she might look at Maddy. "I know this is a lot to take in, and you were probably hoping for someone else, but I assure you that they're quite on board with this idea." And she'll give you a wink.

Maddy's going to give a small smile and then say back, "I've happily spent most of my life in service of the gods. I will do whatever you ask of me." Skal'narr pipes up and says, "I don't suppose you've heard from Alverine as well lately?" Oh man, give me an insight check, please. I said something. I said I hit the hot button, didn't I? What did I do? You did something. You did a thing. Okay, you said give an insight? Yes, please. That's one of my good ones. There you go. And if I roll a 5, it's 15. That's a plus 10, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You insightful bastard.

Yeah. So, you're gonna... it's... it's... it's... so it's almost imperceptible, but her eyes are gonna dart away for just a minute like, "Oh boy, how do I answer that?" Um... Well, yes. It's a tricky situation, dear, and we're not all exactly in agreement on how to handle a situation like this. I thought it might be a little more prudent to have a more gentle hand. I... I hope your methods aren't too gentle. We... when I said we were going to do what must be done, I... presumed there would be sufficient violence to extract justice for what the Countess has done.

That's not exactly what I mean. Absolutely. Stake her through the heart, dear. That's fine. Not to speak for Alverine, but her methods are a bit more... blunt. Ah... Well, you are here offering to equip us, and she is not, but if she agrees with the outcome, I have no quarrel being a little more subtle. Um... she is going to finish off her tea, and kind of put it down in this saucer. Well, are there any holdouts? Again, no hard feelings for saying no. I mean, I'd planned on doing this before we even met you. Any vampire who would turn a twelve-year-old is a piece of shit.

Language, dear. Sorry, I'm... emotional. I have a question, though. What happens to me and Matty after this? Well, what do you want to happen to you and Matty? Can't I take one of their places? Is there any way to... put what's in there in me? Donnie, you can't. Don't even... you saved my life once. You're not doing that again. I'm being a bit dramatic here. Just count our nods at Sable, like "Mm-hmm." Being a little young adult, um... There won't be any need for that. Again, as I said, there's nothing to fear in death. It's an inevitability. It's something that everyone must face eventually.

But I can intervene if you don't wish to become... one of those creatures. Don't make it sound too glamorous. Well, it comes with its own side effects, dear. It's... it's not exactly an easy exchange, but it is one that I'm willing to do if you're willing to go through with it. And if you take care of the Don Hurst situation, I can step in for something a bit more permanent. I can't speak for Maddie, but that sounds alright. Maddie's gonna be fidgeting with the handkerchief, looking down at it. I don't want to not ever see the sun again. She's gonna... like, there's gonna be that, um, like her lips are gonna kind of tense up, like, "Mm, yeah, I completely understand." I would like to see a happy ending for you two.

I... In all honesty, I was rooting for the both of you. How about this? I, in no uncertain terms, am going to inform you of what I plan to do. And if after I do that, you all still agree, then I will set you off on this quest. And upon its completion, I'll step in for more... permanent matters. Does that sound fair? Yeah, yeah. I don't have much to lose. I'm afraid there's not much I can do about your coming demise. I can bound your souls in service to me. That sounds a lot more... grim than I intended it, but... essentially... you'll stay up and kicking as long as you have this task to complete.

And then, once it's done, I can bring you back. I don't usually do this for people. I prefer them to accept their end, but this wasn't natural circumstances, so I feel perfectly fine in granting this to you. But the rest of you. What would you like? Again, I don't expect something for nothing. That's not how I was raised. She's going to start sipping at this tea again. And no one ever saw her pour more. Damn, I want a magic refillable tea cup. Well... as Misoko pointed out, we wanted to go after her. And you said you can equip us with tools, and the mood of the evening is not dying.

I think only thing to assist us from that. I mean, there are other things I want, but this is the main thing, is not to die. Right. And she'll kind of lean forward. Have you ever thought of eating more, young man? You're so, so skinny. I swear a stiff breeze would blow you. Oh my god. Oh, it's rough. It's amazing I haven't converted yet. You just got dissed off by a god. Divine smite. And then the raven in the corner goes, "Baw, baw, baw, baw!" This is our hype man. I actually was planning on doing just that. I can essentially simulate another few months out and about doing what you've been doing, if that's alright with you.

I don't want to take liberties. Free levels, yay! Is she giving a slushie? Is she uploading a training montage? I know kung fu. She has one, but she has a game shirt. She enters the G-code. I almost spit all over the place. I know kung fu. Show me. You tell us to ask for things. For what it's worth. For me, to be a more efficient tool of justice is more than enough. Well, let me speak with my colleague. I think that I might be able to get you just the right tool. I must warn you, they're a bit overzealous at times. For most people, I don't want to speak ill of them.

Doing their best. You mean with regard to justice? Yes, dear. Well, in the absence of more straightforward guidance, our faith and our judgement is all we have here, mere mortals. She's gonna look at Anthem. You, particularly, young man, have been through quite a bit. May I ask what your long-term plans are? You don't. I anticipate adventuring forever, do you? No. I don't. My... I'm a puzzle solver. That's my main... There are a few puzzles in this world I want to see completed. Some secrets out in some places that, in a sense, would make me last longer. I don't really care for fame.

I don't want to retire in Uminiro and be with them. I want to see the world connected and bound for what we are inside. It's just not there. Until then, I still want to solve the puzzles of everyone. Like, I know I'm being cryptic, too. There was a gate that we found. And I think I have found ways to open it. And have some leads. She's going to set her cup down again. All that? Ah, you were this close, dear. I believe I can assist, if you'll allow me. I raise an eyebrow, but nod. She's going to take a deep breath and put both of her hands flat, palms down on the table.

Maddie, the Misoka. In the coming days, you are going to get very, very ill. And, unfortunately, through no fault of your own, quite unnaturally, you are going to die. And then within a few hours after that, you're going to wake back up. And things are going to be a bit different for a while. It might... It might take some getting used to. But it should be temporary. Do you both think that you can handle something like that? Do our friends need to be afraid of us? Oh, no, no, no, dear. You won't be one of them. I believe the term on this plane is "revenant." Oh.

Maddie knew what she was talking about, but hearing it out loud, she's going to take a sharp inhalation of breath. Like, "Oh my God! I've heard about these legends!" And our task is complete when the Countess has been defeated? Exactly, dear. No more, no less. Okay. That sounds better than the other choice. Well, I have a bias, but I would say it is. Well, I'm going to leave you for tonight. I need to get my beauty rest. A colleague of mine recently reached out. He's a bit more dramatic than I am about these things, and he gave a party a trinket. I'm not really about the flash and bother of it all, so I baked you these.

And she's going to hand over cookies for the party? There's one for each of you. When you're ready, each of you just have a snack. And you should have, feasibly, everything you need to stand a fighting chance. And I wish you all of the luck. Your task will not be an easy one. Why now? And Aster is just kind of like staring at her. I don't think they have any particular expression on their face. They're just... I wish I could give you a better answer to that, my dear. The best I can say is that we're trying to balance things out. And she would reach out and grip Aster's hand.

I understand that sometimes the world seems like a very bleak and hopeless place. But I assure you, you and your group are not alone. There are other people trying to make a difference. We just feel as though it's time to give them a firm foothold. And it wasn't before? We were indisposed, dear. Okay. She would look... She would look deep into Aster's eyes. I am so sorry. I... I wish there was something I could do to take back past transgressions. Sometimes the best we can do is learn and move forward. I have a scale of my own that needs to be balanced. If we make it out of this, I...

I think I can understand. Well, perhaps we could talk more about that when the day comes. They'll nod, then... Don't suppose you have any tips on ways to make heroes actually do anything to vampires? Well, um, and she's going to look at Maddie. Some of you have the right idea, I feel as though... You already know in your heart she's not... invincible. She will be surrounded by devotees, though. And she is beyond cruel. Won't be an ounce of mercy in her. But again, I don't feel as though I'm giving you new information. I know you can do this. And she's going to stand up slowly.

I should really get Mortimer to bed. He gets cranky after midnight. Before you go, that might not be my place to ask this. But humbly, if you could pass on a message for me. That's all I would ask in return for this. Of course you would. If you could tell my fair lady that... I've been listening to her my whole life, but I just didn't know. That I've been fooling myself lately, wearing someone else's armor. Trying to meditate. Trying to be someone I wasn't. But that only now I realize she's been at my side this whole time. Please tell Olantra that I know now that she's lit my fire.

And that I love her with all my heart. I'm sure the ears are burning already, sweetie. But I'll pass it on. Thank you. And as she's shuffling up these stairs... Be careful going back through the Divide. It's been rather hectic recently. If you like. And something is going to materialize on the table. That should skip that portion of the journey, if you so wish. It's a lantern that, when lit... Well, you'll see what it does. Good night, everyone. Skalmar inspects the cookie as an oatmeal raisin. I would say these are more pecan sandies. Alright. I was on the fence, but I'm in.

I'm in now. Alright. Donovan turns to Esther and say in a lower voice, with a smile again, "Esther, you don't have to eat that cookie. You can just give it to me and walk away, if you want." Sounds like someone that wants two cookies. Very hungry. That's the quote of the night right there. That's really good. Okay. No, I'm not leaving you guys after everything. That's... And like I told her, I've got my own stuff to take care of if we get through this. Well, I could use a bit of help, so... I'm in on this. I don't know what I think about everything right now, but...

I'm... I'm with you guys. And I'll make sure that you make it through to see the other end of the deal. And that you get what you asked for. If you guys just stand there in silence, like having a moment, you hear crunching out of the cookie. Like he's scaling our bites into his cookie. It's so crunchy. I just sent you a tweet right before that. The cookie monster. Are we all partaking in cookies? Yep. Yep, I'm having some magic cookie. Yeah, eating the cookie. If it makes me feel better, then... I dip it in my teeth. Oh no, the power goes out! We don't need to like immediately get on the road.

Like we can like go to sleep, right? Oh yeah, you're fine. It's not pressing, whatever. Do you want to sleep on the floor or do we have to leave? You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. You can't have to sleep. I'd be imposing a little bit. Get the hell out of my house! Are you serious? There are inns. So, if you bite into these cookies... Now, I don't know if you step outside first. I don't know if you're still in this lady's dining room area. But a few things are going to happen. One, you're going to feel this warmth. Like these are fresh baked. Like, just perfect.

And it's going to almost be this... It's like a hug you can eat. Right? Just very comforting. Very, you know... The worries of the night almost wash away. Like, it's not like you forget anything, but it's like, okay. Things are going to be okay. We're going to make things right. Everyone's outfits are going to darken quite a bit. To help you blend in at night. And there's going to be this mild purple trim. You're all essentially wearing... Raven Queen SWAT team wear, basically. Not the insignia! Just the color scheme. You're fine with your holy signals? I mean, I'll add her to my prayer repertoire, but I'm kind of committed already.

That's fine. Skelner looks over at Mattie, similarly conflicted. Not changing? She's not asking you to convert? Just wear the other team's jersey. Just try it on. I'm going to see how it feels. It's not signing anything. It's a whole palette swap for Aster, because otherwise they'd be green and purple and we don't want that. Yeah, this is like the shiny version of the group A. So, you're also all going to gain three levels. Raven Queen! Holiest of mollies. That's a lot. Oh my god. Does that mean I can get to roll three 1d6s? We'll just give you three more. Three whole hit points in one.

So, just a little bit of reflection. If we're gaining three levels to prepare us to go after the Countess, I'm really glad Ubo didn't pick that fight when we were in this tournament. Oh, I'm really glad you didn't pick that fight. Yeah, like... She would have devoured the party easily. I still do not expect us to make out with this alive, I'm gonna be honest. I expect to meet at least another god on their way. Two of us have revenant powers, we're fine. I mean, your revenant power is, you get knocked down, but you get up again. Yeah, we're Chumbawamba. You are Chumthumping, yes.

New group game! Try pushing the other one so much. We need to go shop. I need to get a magic weapon, guys. We got this in the bag, we can tell the Dawnhurst people to just come with us. They can just start packing and moving in again. So, here's a couple of other things. You're all going to notice that any one of you wearing holy symbols, there's going to be a faint glow to them. This radiant shine. And you instinctively feel as though that this is going to really hurt the undead. Like, you just, there's just this feeling. Like, you are finely tuned weapons being pointed in a direction.

And in each of your packs, you are going to find full rations, you know, waters, refill, all that stuff. And on top of that, any wear and tear that was given to your items in any way, shape or form has been repaired, unless it's sentimental. Alright, it's Morphin' time. I have a very important question. Hit me. Do I feel like I could finally use that damn hammer I had for over a year? Yes, you do. In fact, you feel compelled to really let someone have it. Actually, you know what? Let me take a look. Let me take a look at each of your... Let me take a look.

Oh, yeah. For filling all my arrows. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have more for you. I had some for Clifford. I will take them. Can we make some special requests? Here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do. Anyone who doesn't have a +1 weapon is getting a +1 weapon. Yes! Anybody who has a +1 weapon is getting a +2 weapon. Oh, geez, Matty. Oh my god! Do both of my weapons become +1 weapons? I use two weapons. You do, and yes. So is this the same weapon imbued, or do we get a new one? Yeah, I was going to say, do they get really cool raven patterns and stuff? I was going to give you something themed.

Yes. If that's alright. Alright, we're blowing the special effects budget, you guys. We get to go out in style. So the staff that I use is going to be a +1 that I don't use? Well, I mean, you know. I'm just curious. You can start using them. Right. It's a true one, am I? I'm just curious if... I can actually hit the vampires and do damage now, guys. Ooh, a mana +2. I need you guys to understand that even with these things, it's going to be hard. Oh yeah. Expect the ending, let's say, from dusk till dawn. Expect that. Every encounter is hard for me. You never get hit.

Who hit me? Wait, wait, did my shield go up? I hit you with an 11. That's the secret. Like, Maddie's been a double agent the entire time. Maddie was a Skrull. Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the evening. That's a nice little spot of hope for this group. I like it. Yeah, yeah. Can I address one little... This is awesome, thank you. For sure. Can I address one little plot hole? Please? What? Um, Clifford? Yes. Yeah. We're gonna deal with that next time? Yeah, that's gonna be a next session. I kinda figured. That would've been a good, uh, "Hey, could you heal Clifford?" Oh, yeah.

Man, that would've been a thing to ask. I don't think that's... The Raven Queen's thing is kind of bad. Yeah, that's not... Yeah, but she's doing favors for her, man. But you're not dead already is the thing, like, I feel like... You're one foot through the door. Honestly, Clifford might be in a better place now. Yeah. I was like, "Maddie, this is your choice. You can rez him if you really want to, but that poor kid, his life is gonna suck." Okay, I'm just saying, Maddie's probably still thinking about that. I mean, yeah, and here's the thing. It gets wonky when you talk about vampires.

It's not as... Not that resurrecting just a regular person is any less complicated, but it's... Fucking Susan read the book. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah, you get it? Yeah. And now that Maddie's met the God of Death, she knows that Clifford's in good hands. Right. You know that there are people on the other side looking out. Oh, that's true. That's true. Good to see Corey's doing okay. Yeah. Oh. I was gonna do the parent question, and I was like, "No." There's a good chase in you did, Jamie. Yeah. Well, I mean, she said plenty of time. Jamie, thanks for joining us. Yeah, she said plenty of time to work on it.

Man, we really hope you guys enjoyed today's show. We're coming up on the end of Arc 3, probably within the next few months. So get yourselves ready for that. There are exclusive new shared designs up in our store. We're gonna be adding those and kind of sprinkling them out throughout the next couple of months. And don't forget to check out Worldanvil.com. They are an awesome group of people. Seriously, you get 20% off a six month or 12 month subscription. The entire thing is free to use if you wanna try it out and get your feet wet for a while. But if you use the codes DNR or Dungeons and Randomness, all spelled out, then you will get 20% off of those six month or 12 month subscriptions.

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If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, at dandrpodcast@gmail.com. We'll see you next week guys. Bye.