Fast Travel

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It starts at a dollar. Go check it out. Previously for Group B, on their final push to meet the Black Hand in Brightport, the group has only to collect a book that is on the far side of the Blacktip Forest in one of the posts of a wooden bridge. This book is said to contain some sort of weakness for the Black Hand. If they can find it, it would surely help them in their upcoming fight. And that's where we pick up things today. Ooooooooh, let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table starting with Jameson.

Hi, I'm Jameson, I play Lark, the half-orc hugsmonger. [Laughter] And Alex. Hi, I'm Alex, and I play Braelyn, the halfling bard. And Valerie. Hi, I'm Valerie, and I play Elena, the human swordmonger. [Laughter] I didn't know we were doing this. I didn't either. And Jamie. Hi, I'm Jamie, I play Tatiana, the human ro-monger. [Laughter] Doesn't it suck halfway through and you're like, "Oh, I gotta come up with something?" And Ian. I'm Ian, I play Kaldinhalek, the half-elf ice monger. I still don't know what a monger means, so I'll be honest. You guys gotta listen to the behind the scenes, because we find out all kinds of interesting things about each other.

And the birthday girl. Karen. Hi, I'm Karen, and I play Callie the elementary. And I don't know. I was gonna say something cool, and then I just... I'm 30, guys. This is it. It's all downhill. Awesome. We had a fun theme that Jameson started in that just went to a dark, small place. [Laughter] And then he started at the end. [Laughter] "I'm a monger, we have to do..." "I'm 30 and this is it." [Laughter] I'm turning your stuff, guys. It's fine. [Laughter] Wait, is the podcast still gonna be around when I turn 30? I mean, what you're asking is if I still have a job I'm holding. [Laughter] I mean, what, that's only like seven years from now, right?

Uh, yeah. Oh, God. I'm getting like a life vertigo right now. Yeah, right? [Laughter] So, let's talk about your situation. Because we started talking about this in the behind the scenes, but... This deserves to be fleshed out. Because I think you all should really start thinking about where you are versus where you'd like to be. And the amount of time you have left. Now, the last time we sat down you realized that the centennial for Brightport is most likely when something's gonna happen if it's gonna happen in Brightport. Right? Right. True. Okay. Yes. Now, let's share a map with you guys first.

Let's do this. [Singing] Share it. Now, this is Alara and your present location in the Blacktip Forest. Now, there's a handy-dandy scale on all the new maps for the world. And if you used that scale and you just carved a straight path, like through the forest and mountains and all that, you're over 200 miles away from Brightport. If you decided, "Hey, let's get out of the forest and then let's try to cut as straight a path as we can, avoid the roads, and just try to get there as quickly as possible." Let's start with a straight run. If you could plow through mountains and all that stuff, it would take you eight days to get just to Brightport.

If you avoided roads, if you tried to cut off corners, go through fields, traverse rivers, all that stuff, 11 days. And if you followed the roads from the Blacktip Forest to Donhurst, skirting the city, of course, going through Dragon's Reach all the way down to Whitehedge and then up to Brightport, 14 days. Hmm. I thought we planned this better. Yeah, but we lost time somewhere. I forget where. Well, we didn't account for multiple days in the forest, I don't think. No. Did something happen to us? We lost a few days? Not the level of time, but something else, I feel like.

Well, we went very far into the forest and now we have to backtrack that same amount of time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think we went deeper than we were expecting to. Okay. Okay. Can we... do we have a way of sending a message at all to any of the paladins? I don't have sending, so I cannot do that. Okay. And, well, we got to get the book, right? We kind of all agree that we got to get that book. Yeah, I have to. You've come this far. How long is it going to take us to get out and get to the book location? About three days. About three days. But that's on your way. And there are little things you can do to shave time off that if you get lucky.

And this is with our horsies, right? Um, yeah, this is all accounting for horses. Okay. If you were walking, it'd be way longer. Oof. And none of us are clerics. I just realized that right now. I was thinking, "Oh, we should have the clerics sending!" No. Psych! Well... I mean, I think, Jason, I asked you about teleportation circle before and we never discussed it. Well, you want to discuss it? Yeah, I need to know, what can I do with this spell or am I just wasting a slot? You are not wasting a slot. And I will... I'll tell you all about it. So. The way telepor-ter-tion... uh, telepor-ter-tion...

Telepor-tation circles work is, obviously there's a little bit of a risk/reward to it. Because there's a reason you don't see people just zipping all over the place and teleporting. Instead of just, you know, I was going to say riding a bike, but instead of riding their horses. So, the way it works is, essentially, it takes an hour to prep the circle. Like, to get everything you need ready to go, your drawing insignias in the dirt and all that stuff. Now, when you cast this, essentially, we're taking some things into account. One, what's your level? And the higher the level you are, the greater the chance that things won't go awry.

The second thing we're going to take into account is how far are you traveling? The shorter the distance you're trying to travel, the less chance that things get all cocked up. Okay. What if... oh my god, I was level 5? So, theoretically, I could do two short bursts of this as opposed to one long one. Sure. Okay, so that might be what we do if I use this. Well, okay, so here's how it works. You draw your circle, and you take an hour, you prep it. It does cost money, obviously, because any of those big spells, they cost a bit of money. Yeah, gold. Yeah, so at this point, you guys have some cash, right?

I think so. A little bit, a little bit. Yeah, we do. Yeah, you guys got cash, you got some coin, you made some money in Esterholt. Yep. We found some drab rolls. I'm rolling in dough. I was about to say, some of you made more than others. Or some of you spent more than others. So, the way it works is, you draw everything, and then you step into the circle, whoever's going. And then we roll dice. Essentially, what we'd be doing is, we'd be rolling to see how close to the destination it is that you end up. And again, depending on your level and where you're trying to jump.

If you're trying to zip 200 miles down the road, that's a long shot. Like it's a Hail Mary. It's like, "Oh, well, we're probably going to get within several dozen miles of that, but I can't guarantee we're going to end up exactly on the spot." Let's say we're going 60. 60 miles. That's not too bad. Okay. So, 50 is right around the cap, where it's like, "Okay, this is pretty much a layup." And then anything over that. It's like, "Eh, you know, that's not too bad." So, basically, we still got to get you to the book first. I've got one more question. Sure.

So, what if... Okay, we don't have to get into nitty-gritty speed if you don't want to, but... I love nitty-gritty. I know. I know you do. But if... Could we fly faster than horses? No. Okay. Because... What's your flight speed? 60? Yeah, 60. I mean, that lasts for what? A minute? It's like 10 minutes. 10 minutes? Yeah. So, basically, what you do... And that's a spell slot. Mm-hmm. Basically, you'd put yourself in a situation where you'd go pretty quickly for a little bit, and then you'd run out of spell slots and you'd be walking. Because you'd run out of spell slots.

Eventually, yeah. Yeah. But how far could we get in 10 minutes? Could you ping-pong back and forth, do Braille and teleportation, and then you can fly, and then Braille is resting, and then... Well, I mean, I can get us to that crossroads if I do two jumps. Because I think anything to lower the chances of the 200-mile Hail Mary is probably ideal. But I will burn my level 5 spells, meaning I cannot use my special massacre wounds or scrying. Well, scrying is not a thing that helps, but a massacre wound... Well, we're not going right in the second we get there, either.

Yeah, like how... You just need a long rest to get that back, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, just to be sure, the thing is happening on the 15th. We were supposed to meet the paladins at the crossroads on the 3rd, I think, the 4th? Something like that? I think we gave them a time frame. Well, we told them, like, don't leave if we're not there by the 4th. Yeah, and then... So what's the date today? I don't have that written down. The 28th. Yep. Okay, so we only have a few days to get to the crossroads on time, but we do have a pretty good amount of time to get, like, to Brightport.

Yes. From there. Okay. So that gives us a little bit of wiggle room, because if we're not there immediately on the 3rd, it's not like we're missing the big thing happening on the 15th. No, just that those guys... The paladins that we lobbied for might not be there. Yeah, but we do have... I mean, I think that the short burst of flying speed might be enough to get people there quickly, like to the crossroads, if we get close enough to be like, "Hey, we're here, we're on our way, just don't leave." How... Wait, where are the paladins coming from? Esther Hall.

Esther Hall. Okay, map choices. I shared it. Yeah, I don't... Esther Hall. Where is Esther Hall? Wait, hello? In the south. It's right there in your hero's marsh. Oh, there it is. Hound Terrors bounty. I mean, this is a bad idea, but... Great pitch. I'm sold so far. Like, if we're planning on meeting everybody at the crossroads by the 3rd, I mean, I guess we don't... It wouldn't be the best to wait until the 15th, that we should take care of things before then. But like, what if we met up with them before we got to the crossroads, so we're not as close? So there's less time for the Black Hand to know that we're coming.

It doesn't really work, but it's just an idea. Well, I mean, I think the general problem of getting to anywhere that's south of here still comes to the right. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, okay, let's talk about this. Let's go back to the flying idea, just to kind of... I don't want to halt everything. So let's talk about spell slots and everything like that. So you have Fly, which is a level 3 spell. But I'd likely need to cast it higher. Yeah, to cast a little more people. Yeah. You cast a spell using a 5th Slider, you can target one additional creature.

Yeah, we don't have enough for everybody to be able to fly. Yeah, but Callie could fly, like actually change. Oh yeah, that's true. Half of us could fly. Right, but what about the horses? We could cast a lot of horses. I don't want to abandon a horse. Leave him here, here we go. Another horse? Yep, that side. See, this is why... here's the thing. Okay, I get a rep on the show for killing horses. This is how horses get lost. I don't blame the individual, I blame the world that they're put in. Look, you get a bum horse and you've been mad about it for a year. Like, it's not...

Yeah, it's been a year. So if you break that down, you're flying 60 feet per second, which is 40 miles an hour. That's not all that fast in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, it's bird's eye view, but think about how long it takes to, you know, if you're on the road. Like, okay. We're taking the dash action, so... 120. Like, I'm 125 miles away from San Francisco. That's three and a half hours driving at like 75 miles an hour, let's say. So, flying, like, if you're doing it in 10 minute bursts, but it would be iffy. It would be really iffy. I gotcha. I'm more than willing to...

Can you take multiple people through that portal? Doesn't say, there's a limit. No! And also Jason's gonna change it, so... Everything... Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, anything you can fit in that circle. Alright, horses. Yeah, I mean, the other option is, like, I don't know if it's more dangerous to take more people, too, because if we only need to get one... If we only need to get word to the crossroad, even, you know, we could all go, ideally, if we can, but if it's safer, whatever, one person could go and just be like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, chill, chill, chill.

Never. Never split the party. What are you talking about? So, to maybe assuage some fears. The circle's ten feet by ten feet, and basically the way we wrote it was, anything you can fit in that circle is just matter. Like, you're just transporting matter. It doesn't make the spell any harder to cast, it doesn't make, you know, it's like a vertical column. So, anything, if you guys can stack your horses on top of each other somehow, they will flop out the other side. Okay. I'm gonna stop you, because I feel like you're talking about teleport, and I'm talking about teleportation circle.

I think we're talking about the same thing, but I will check just in case. Sure. Please, please do. Okay. Teleportation circle. Can I just say, I love how this circle is ten feet by ten feet. Well, okay. I just, like, some people, okay, there's a thing in the community where some people draw it as an oval, and it really pisses me off, because it specifically says circle. Circle. Why then, why do they do it as an oval? They're trying to cheat. Yeah. They're trying to squeeze extra shit in there. Yeah, more stuff. Yeah. But they could have, but wait, but if it's ten feet, then the sides are the same, so it's always a circle.

It's a ten foot diameter. Right. Yes. So then, there is no oval. Tell the cheaters. Yes. That's it, yes. Oh my god, did I tell you guys? This week, my differential equations class started. I lasted two days before I started getting very confused. You didn't confuse me with the title. The first two days, dude. The first two days, I was like, "Oh, I'm killing it. This is going to be so easy." And then day three, I'm like, "Dude, I don't know what's going on." Yeah, this, we're talking about the same thing. Okay, good. So, when you establish this, and this is really cool, exclusively for Brelyn.

If you went back to the exact spot where you established this circle, you can zip right back into the Blacktip Forest if you wanted to. I'll never come back here. I'm just saying, it is an option. You can always come back. And it's just for Brelyn? Well, anyone traveling, Brelyn has to be there to activate the spell again. But I am the keymaster. Yes. If he establishes this, whatever is established on the other side is, like, he basically, it's a hearthstone. It's a waypoint. He can just go, "Yep, everybody in the circle with me." Boop! I'm building a fashion-style place.

We should have gone to the crossroads first. Well, you know, we didn't know. I didn't have access to the spell until we got here. Yeah, that was fucking levels ago. Who knew? Well, we gotta go get the book first. Yeah, let's do the book. Let's walk and talk. Yeah, let's do the book. So, best case scenario, this is just a three-day hike. And I believe Calli is leading the way. But... I am? Well, I mean, you're nature. You're a nature person. Oh, okay. Well, I don't want to show favoritism to anybody because I had two Group C members who had birthdays and I didn't give them this.

But time is really of the essence for you guys. That's their fault, though. No, no, no. Just stop. Just don't tell them that. Just let them finish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't tell them that. They've been out for weeks. They won't know. Yeah, one second. Let me just chat to Group C. Hold on. Yeah. I'm gonna give you inspiration. So, one thing we didn't discuss. You guys did a lot to work as a team to get to the Blacktip Forest and do stuff. I'm also gonna give you a travel die. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. So you have a travel die. The person who is leading the way back through this forest has inspiration.

So, best of luck to you guys. Are we ready? Can we get a long rest first? Oh, yeah. I'm pretty badly hurt. You know what? Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. I'm injured. Oh, God. I'm very badly hurt. What the hell? Pretty messed up. Oh, the demons. Yeah, the demons. The demons will do it. The fucking Soul Chewer. So we're gonna burn a day? We're gonna burn. Well, I mean, no. No, we're not. Here. I'm gonna burn. Yeah, we got healing spells. Let's go. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Do you wanna do that? Or do you just wanna take a rest? It's nighttime. Oh, no. We can take a short rest, right?

Are we good to take a short rest? I've got spell slots for days. I know that doesn't necessarily heal us up, but... I don't wanna burn my level 5s if I'm gonna do the hopscotch teleports. So, maybe a short rest. I can just spend, yeah, I'll just spend some hit die. Short rest? Everyone pop some hit die. Does an action surge come back after a short rest or a long rest? I think it's a short rest too at this level. I think? Let's roll. I like to look it up. Oops, I rolled a death save. I'm not... How'd you do? I'm not dying yet. I have a d12 hit die and I rolled two three times.

Oh, also, while we're taking a short rest, I have something. I have something. Shorter long rest, though. Yeah. I have Song of Rest. Oh, well... Oh. Everyone regains one d6 extra hit points at the end of a rest. Doesn't say shorter long. With every monthly bill, like rent and car payments, you know exactly what you're getting when you pay for it. But health insurance plans feel like the total opposite. They're confusing and expensive. Then when you actually have to use your benefits, there are deductibles, claims, processes, and other red tape to deal with.

But CrowdHealth puts you back in control of your healthcare. CrowdHealth is simple, transparent, and affordable. As a member, you'll get a personal care advocate who is with you every step of the way to help navigate the complexities of health events. They'll even negotiate bills on your behalf and could save you thousands of dollars in the process. Plus, you'll get access to thousands of other members who are ready to help pay for large health expenses. Experience healthcare freedom with CrowdHealth. Visit joincrowdhealth.com and use code HEALTH to get your first three months for just $99 per month.

That's joincrowdhealth.com code HEALTH. CrowdHealth is not health insurance. It's a totally different way of paying for healthcare. It's a totally different way of paying for your health. crowdhealth.com/codehealth. Crowdhealth is not health insurance. It's a totally different way of paying for healthcare. Terms and conditions may apply. Oh, short rest. Only short rest. You get one to six extra, guys. For just one go. Yeah. They're topping off. Nice. Alright. You have to spend one or more hit die in order to get this benefit. Oh. I just spent six. Oh. Oh, that was bad.

I was very, very hurt. Same. How do we get this short rest from Braylin? Wait, I'm confused. You're not recovering health, Val. Yeah, I know. What'd you do? Oh, I have to double click. Yeah. I'm a ding dong. So I'm just missing two HP, but it's very scary for me to miss any HP. What are you doing on it? Do I get? Let me see. I don't think I get some of the rest. I think it's such a good equipment. How do we do the extra D6 or whatever? Just roll a D6 and I'll add it. Just roll it and he'll add it. Oh. Yeah, Jason, can you give me four? I sure can. It'll top me right off.

Please give me... It was just D6, not D6 plus. Yeah, just D6. Yeah. Okay, got it. Wait a minute. Oh, no. Because I'm level 10, this thing didn't upgrade. It's a D8. I'm sorry. Oh, eight. I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I didn't read the extra part. Please give me eight. Oh, four still. Okay, now it's getting confusing because I got to go back and undo math. I'm sorry, Jason. No, you're fine. Okay, so Alina's the same. That's okay. It's all good. Colin, you just need to give four more. And Laurie, I think, was topped off anyway. Yeah, it's all good. I don't think I get it, though, because it says...

Where is it? I just saw a rest. I saw a rest. If you or any friendly creature who can hear your performance regain any hit points during a short rest, that creature regains one D. Oh, okay, I guess I do. Yeah, you absolutely do. Well, I'm just missing hopefully two. Oh, four. Oh, you're good. Nice. Cool plan. Oof. And then Alina. I think, Colin, you didn't spend any spell slots either, huh? I did, because I was burning them for... Well, you have the rest of the night to move. Then you're going to start dipping into exhaustion and whatever. We'll figure it out. But, like, yeah, well, let's get you on the road.

Let's do some stuff. I still have plenty of slots, so I'm good. Yeah. Callie, can I get a survival check? Yeah. Please, baby Jesus. Don't let us do that. That's a plus nine. Oh! Happy birthday, girl! Damn! Yes! That is a crit. That's a 29. You almost rolled your age. That would have been a level up. Whew, baby. So, okay. Let me tell you what's going to happen because you did that. Callie is going to find a shortcut. And with the shortcut, the first time you go to the end of the map, the first time you guys are trekking through brambles, you're hacking and slashing your way through, you're kind of fighting your way through.

And the entire time there's this mist that just kind of encircles everything. There's this faint feeling that you're walking in circles sometimes. And Callie, for whatever reason, there's going to be this moment of clarity. And she is going to find a shortcut that is going to save you an entire day. So here's what we're going to do. You're going to walk all night. And you're going to end up about a day's journey away from this book. So it is now the 29th. And I'd say it's around 8 a.m., let's say. So it's bright and early. But now we're dipping into exhaustion.

So I'm going to give you guys one level of exhaustion. And it's up to you whether you'd like to take a long rest or keep going. What's the exhaustion again? We get disadvantage on skill checks. Yeah, it stacks. So at one level of exhaustion, it's just anytime you're using your skills. Which is -- I mean, we use them a lot. Yeah, well, you're literally -- yeah. I kind of want to go until night and then rest. But it's up to you. I mean, that's what I was leaning towards. Because it's like, oh, if we just go until we find the book, then we'll take a long rest and then we'll be like good to go.

I know, but what if the book has like bad juju around it and then we're sleeping there? Okay, what if we like take a long rest before we get the book? Before we trigger all the traps. Around the cursed item. Hey, did the sun come out today? The sun -- let me make absolutely sure before I say yes or no. Or do we got a DRP situation? It did come out. Okay, so that's nice. Yeah, it took four days. It took four days though. God, okay. Oh, no. Wait, oh, no, you guys. Wait, I don't know if this is true. Wait, does time move differently in the Blacktip Forest? No, there was an event that took place on another group that sort of mucked things up.

Yeah, that was our fault. Sorry about that, guys. Oh, okay. I got scared for a second. That was it. There was nothing else. That was the only bad thing. Yeah. It's funny because I thought that was just an effect of the forest. Like it's a mystical, scary, spooky forest. I was like, oh, it's dark. The sun can't get through. And then I listened to that DRP. So I was like, you motherfuckers. When we were playing before, I was like, okay, but like if the sun was actually out and I didn't know anything about this, like it would be weird. Why is nobody else bringing it up?

Yeah, I just assumed it was spooky-ooky. And I mean, it was based on where you are. Everyone else is like, what the hell is happening? It was all, it was just weird. Yeah, we took it more in stride than anybody because we're like Blacktip Forest, it makes sense. It's all black. Blacktip Forest. Yeah, it's in the name. There you go. So, you want to keep going all day? Sure. I don't think that's... Oh, okay. So there's some rays of sun kind of cutting through the canopy of trees above you. It's still shaded, very shaded, but it's not nighttime. It's clearly not nighttime.

So, Karen. Yeah. I need another survival check. Okay. But disadvantage. Oh. Well, I'll do it again. Because it's a disadvantage, right? Yes. Okay. Hey! Oh, so we're going to drop that crit. I landed on an eight, but okay. 21, so good. I'll take it. Yeah, that, we're going to drop that crit and we're going to take the 12. 21 is not bad at all. And it is going, the sun is going to set. And it's going to be 10 o'clock in the evening. When you're going to see the forest open up a bit. And you recognize this because it's where you entered. And there is a river with a long wooden bridge stretching out in front of you.

And you know that that book is in one of the hollowed out posts supporting this bridge. It's right in front of you. All you got to do is go grab it. What time is it now? 10 o'clock. 10 p.m. P.M.? P.M. We have to sleep, you guys. Like, it's gonna do stuff. I mean, I guess we're making camp. Can, can, can Cauldron, I don't have detect magic, but could I do just like a, like a base arcana check just to sort of like feel it out or get some kind of read on it at all? Please. Okay, I got to do this at disadvantage though. You're all very tired, by the way. God damn it, Ian.

There we go. Wow, it's okay, man. Be nice to Ian. Until he learns how to hit the right button. I'm better than this. You're not feeling anything, man. You're not, there's nothing jumping out at you. You've definitely been in the presence of magical artifacts or weapons, things like that, that just kind of leap out at you, especially in the last year. You guys, you guys, between the bell and demons and all kinds of stuff, you've run into quite a few mystical properties and things like that. This just doesn't, I guess, I guess the way I would put it is you expected more.

It's like watching Hamilton for the first time. It's like, oh, you know, that was cool. And then you just, it was fine. It was fine, everybody. It was fine. I didn't say it was bad. The brilliant thunderclap's gone. Just into the sky. Yeah, I give a sigh of disappointment and just kind of watch Hamilton on my iPhone. Disney, if you want to sponsor the show. I mean, is Kaladin like walking around the bridge or getting close to it to try to... No, I think like the kind of the point was I didn't want to have to go knocking on every post to like try and figure out where the fucking book was.

But if it's just like, if it's not magical and it is just an ordinary book, you know, like, or maybe he's just tired. Do you want me to detect magic? I think we should deal with this in the morning, to be honest. Like it's dark outside. Like we can't see anything anyways. Oh, but we don't sleep. So me and Braylin go check it out. Hell yeah, let's do it. Oh, that's true. Let's touch that book. I would turn invisible first before if Laganar walking up to the thing. I'll check like the opposite posts. I was kind of kidding, but how does that work with exhaustion with us?

We just not have it. I so I treat it as if you you you still suffer from exhaustion. Why you don't sleep. It's like, oh, man, like, OK. There have been lots of thought experiments where humans would just go insane if they they didn't get a rest from the world. Whether it's just, you know, sleep and unconsciousness or closing your eyes and just taking a break. I kind of pictured it like, look, I'm going to go sit behind that tree for a while. Don't talk to me like that. OK. But so, yeah. So in that case, if we still have to take a rest, that's fine. I'm not laying down.

I'm going to literally like Monty Python guard stand there at the bridge, though. Like non-shell pass. You got it. I think I still kind of want to do detect magic around the area before I go in. Do it. Well, Elaine is going to bed. Good night, everyone. You know, once and then we got a dragon on us. So you let us out of the forest. Continue to lead with every monthly bill like rent and car payments. You know exactly what you're getting when you pay for it. But health insurance plans feel like the total opposite. They're confusing and expensive. Then when you actually have to use your benefits, there are deductibles, claims, processes and other red tape to deal with.

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That's joincrowdhealth.com code health. CrowdHealth is not health insurance. It's a totally different way of paying for health care. Terms and conditions may apply. You want to do a little design magic? Yeah. I was like, there's nothing for me to roll, so I just do it. Yeah, no, I'm just asking you. I'm asking for consent if you'd like to use the tech magic. Don't say it like that. I was. Try not to get canceled, Karen. You don't have to say it like that. So. You're going to pick up something faint, very faint. It's a how can I put this? OK. You know what a Faraday cage is?

I've heard of it. I don't know why Faraday. He's a he's a physicist. A Faraday cage is essentially something that prevents things like cell phone signals from from. Yes. Yes. So you're picking up not a strong presence of magic, but almost something containing it, something disguising, something hiding it. And it's coming from that bridge. OK. I mean, I must say, can't tell like which like post it's in. No, you can't. Oh, OK. Which way? It is on the right hand side at the base next to the water. On our side of the bridge? On your side of the bridge. Could be easier, Karen.

You don't have to say that like that either. OK, I'm going to go to bed now. I don't care. I'm going to go to bed, but it's going to be like when you have a big event coming up and you go to sleep, but you just kind of lay there. It's like Christmas time for adventure. Think about. Yeah. That's called and just looking up into the stars, like looking over, seeing Larg just standing there, looking over at Braylon and seeing what he's doing. He's picking his nose. Yeah. That checks out. Yeah. Just thinking about that bug. Jamie. Could you roll a flat D20 for me, please?

Nine. OK, let's put that aside for now. Nighttime is going to pass. And you're all going to wake up to the sound of. There's going to be a few birds chirping in the distance, but they're clearly coming from the opposite side of this bridge, not the forest you just came from. And it would take a few minutes if you're squinting like that. The sun's just starting to come up and you guys were just all exhausted. But let's give you all a nice long rest. Yeah. Long rest. Boom. So you spell slots. Yeah. Would you like to do like on Christmas morning? Sorry. No, I just it didn't give me all my hip dice back.

I was wondering if we still had exhaustion or something. You shouldn't hold on. Don't we only get like half of the amount we use back or I stopped that. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's correct. I got all nine back. You should get all of them. We didn't we didn't use them any, though. I used a ton. Yeah. Yeah, I'm missing two. So that checks. Yeah, I think you're right, Karen. Thank you. Can I make a suggestion before we start playing with the post on this book? I think the whole bridge is booby trapped and we should all be on the other side of the bridge before we start.

Like it's like an Indiana Jones thing like that bridge is definitely going to fall apart. I think it's a hidden in plain sight. I think that's the whole point. Do we need to cross this bridge when we're done? Yeah. Yeah. OK. Well, I mean, sure. If we want to have everybody except someone who can fly. Go to the other side and then. Yeah. So you're taking horses and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I would cross the bridge with my horse. My rump rump dropper. That horse has been nothing but good to you. Let's see if he lasts. It is the first of doing, by the way. All right. Who's staying behind here?

Who's who's who's checking out the book? Wait. First of Dylan. Yeah. I thought we skipped the day. I think we saved today. Well, it was the 28th when we started. You you found a shortcut. Oh, wait. You said 28th of Doolan, 29th of Doolan. That's not the right month. Alta Warren. Alta Warren. Thank you. Yeah. 30 days in all time. No, 29. That's the other one. OK. So we just had this conversation. OK. All the rest of 29, except for because of the wizard. Shake my fist in the sky at the wizard. Because of Archipaeus, the wizard who just fucked everything up. I woke up in a field and I missed the 30th.

That's so funny, though. You do have cool ass monkeys because of it for some reason. So you take the good with the bad. I do enjoy ultra chimps, but still. All right. Who's doing it? You guys came all this way. It's time. I heard you were talking like a kid on Christmas, Jameson. What was that about? Well, I think if I'm imagining it in my head, I imagine that Lark would have a hard time not opening because he's been staring at it all night while everybody slept. So, yeah, he's going to disregard any talk of booby traps and just open up the post. Let's do it.

Oh, I thought you were just going to smash it with your hammer or something. Well, I didn't say how I'd open it. No, I'll just open it up and see what's inside. So I picture this needing like a knife. Like there's there's clearly like a like a portion of this post that's kind of like wedged it. So like you're going to have to like Jimmy it open basically and you're just going to pop it. And there's going to be some cobwebs and you're you're you're about a foot above the water. So there's no chance of this getting wet or anything like that. And the way the way this post is, like it's kind of wedged in.

So it's really quite safe. And when you open this, there's going to kind of be this like like this wood on wood sound. And inside of this large post, there's going to be a book shaped object wrapped in like a burlap, almost like like like kind of swallowed in cloth. OK, yeah, he'll he'll take it out carefully and he'll pull back the cloth from it and take a look at it. So this thing is a black leather tome. It's it's it's fairly sizable and it looks like if you were to crack it open, there'd be that nice leather creak of the binding, like well worn. There's a lot of handwritten sketches and images and stuff like that and stories in this.

But on the cover, it's it's it really pops. It stands out because it's this black leather book with this this this kind of scrawled red inked image of these these demonic hands kind of clawing their way out from a hole in the ground. Like it's it's very like it's telling a story on the cover. It's like a warning, like this is a bunch of shit. Like, get ready. So if you were to crack this open and start looking through, a note is going to fall out of the center of the book. And it's completely separate from the book. This is a much newer piece of parchment.

And it just says, I'm sorry. Hmm. OK, so, yeah, he'll like go to open the book. The piece of the paper will fall out. He'll kneel down, pick that up, read it. Does it match? I guess I wouldn't think to ask that. Never mind. But he'll. Can you see the page it fell out from or did it just like drop out from somewhere? You can see the page it dropped out from. Good question. OK. Yeah, I'll flip open to that that spot then. This is detailing a lot of stuff. So there is a place called the Dasar Igrad, which is this demonic library. You kind of got images, flashes of all this stuff while you were in the forest.

And these sketches kind of like they're rough estimates of what what was in your head. And there is this this this shadowy figure standing behind this this this half dome. It's kind of a crack in the wall behind it. And it depicts a bunch of different demonic like hands, like not very not human, not anything of this world. But it's a place where the two kind of claw their way out. And there's this tire stretch about the dome itself and how it was erected by these by these these these this ancient order of paladins and clerics that were super anti-demon.

I very much believe the world was constantly under attack or under threat of being invaded. Sometimes they got it really wrong, like that hundred year stretch where they just thought all tieflings were evil and sort of tortured them until people confessed to things that, you know, it's a lot. But they were right about the demons and they were right about this crack and they managed to seal it off before anything got out. But for for a long time, they would communicate with demons who would try to do anything they could to get to get out. One of the ideas the paladins had was to eventually take down this dome and launch an expedition into this crack to see how deep it goes, to see if there's something that could be done to cut the thread off at the source, so to speak.

So what you're looking at is a ritual that would take down that dome. And I think it would make sense to Larg very quickly as to why someone who was in league with demons might want that book. Yeah. OK, so I mean, as Larg opens this book, he joins the party, by the way, and is kind of like showing them like he sits down in the in a way that everybody can kind of glance over his shoulder at the book. So we don't have to rely on me to re-explain everything. A little crisscross applesauce. We're all sitting together. Yeah, we're all like perched over his shoulder, like all of us, all his massive shoulders.

I hold the book like picture outward and I show it to everybody and then I go back to reading the book. OK, so he basically after we we get to the point where it's like, oh, this this is like a manual on how to close that barrier. He'll essentially just glance over to called and be like, is this supposed to help us? I think it's supposed to help everyone if if this book does what it says it does, it's cutting off the world of demons, the abyss from our world here. I mean, for good. Oh, let me be clear. It doesn't close. It opens. Oh, it opens. This was for the paladins to be able to go inside and check things out, basically into hell.

Like to see it's like, well, how can we just kill everything in there so that it's not a threat? Can we, you know, that type of thing? Oh, so it wasn't like, OK, I gotcha. Right. Yeah, they sent some little space dogs into the sun. What happens if we go into the sun? Yeah. Now, gotcha. So that thing that I said opposite of that. Now, there is more to this book. And let's say let's let's save time. Lark is the one thumbing through this. Can I get an intelligence check from Lark? Oh, no. No one would take the book off of Lark. Well, let's give Lark a chance. I wouldn't touch it.

Just give me that, you dumb, dumb. Give him a shot. This is for the adults. OK, you know what? Let's just do it. Let's do it. Oh, well, OK, look. Oh, I have inspiration. Yes. You guys shut up. Is it on the book? Lark turns the book right side up and tries again. God damn it. Well, it does better. I rolled a three and then a four, but it is better. That's improvement. I'm going to figure out the difference between B's and B's eventually. So as as Lark's just thumbing around, maybe looking maybe looking for a spot with more pictures. So someone's going to spot a couple of bits of verbiage here.

And this book is just filled with little things in there. They're hyper specific rituals and spells and bits of information. Lots of lore, lots of history. But this just catches someone's eye. And what's interesting about this is while this would take a bit to perform. Anyone who is is enhanced by demonic magic. Anybody who is. Well, let's just stop mincing words, Lauren. In layman's terms, what this ritual would do was one time you get to call your shot. Before you roll an attack, you would essentially say, hey, I'm cashing it in. I'm cashing my money in the bank.

Let's do it. And if your attack were to land, you would do triple damage. If we perform this ritual, all you got to do is perform the ritual first. The ritual takes a full day to prepare and perform. Is this a different ritual from the opening the dome? Is this different? Yes. Doing this doesn't let loose the demons. I need to be clear. Totally different page. Totally different chapter. So we can all see this? At least we caught verbiage that says this. Yeah, let's say after it's like, hey, I think I saw something back on page 283. Let's look at that. And then you just.

Yeah. Can we can Brelin check to see if it specifies like how many people can get this? Sure. The limit is eight. Oh, OK. But you have to do a deal with the demon for it? No, you don't. I get it. I got to be clear again. This is this is essentially built in paladin magic. Like they they it's like here. Here's what we learned. What's the opposite? It's the opposite. This is essentially like radiant damage to a vampire, let's say. Oh, shit. This is. What the fuck is this book? It's it's a collection of really screwed up knowledge. OK, let's put it this way. Do you know how doctors and scientists, we should, you know, trust what they say and do things like wear a mask?

Now. Yes, that's true. If you trace back. Oh, yeah. If you trace things back, we figured things out by doing things like robbing graves and doing experiments that aren't exactly ethical nowadays. But like at the time, like we were learning. So that's what these guys were doing. Doing that. There's great knowledge in this book. There's also a lot of things. There's probably verbiage in this book that you guys wouldn't use today as modern adventures in the year 1266. You wouldn't do things like this. But, you know, it's like, oh, grandpa, we don't use those words anymore.

We don't say things like Red Devil. Yeah. Yeah. It's a very racist book. It's got some good knowledge in it, though. There's some real good stuff in there. Is there anything about severing a connection between someone who's working with the demon and and like a deal that's made or a power that's granted? That's a bit tougher because you have to find the source of that that connection. The easiest thing. And again, this would be in the book. The easiest thing to do would be to kill one the party benefiting from the demon or the demon itself. Those are the easiest ways to sever that tie.

But isn't there but there is something in the book that talks about that, right? Yeah. Well, it's it's one of those things that like it's not it's not so simple that like basically if it were so simple to just sever that tie, no one would worry about demon connections because it's like, yeah, we'll just do the fucking Reverso spell and boom, it's good. You basically have to you have to find some sort of basically how was that deal made? Like, where was it made? When was it made? That type of thing. And there's there's all kinds of variables that go into a ritual to disconnect that.

So in the time it would take you to figure all that out, that could be years. But don't we already know most of that because of the vision we saw? You you did see like, you know, how it happened and when it happened. Yes. But you have nothing from her. Like, you'd need blood. You'd need like you'd need things. Oh, that's that's a really good thing to then have the teleportation circle if we do want to come back here. It's an option. Oh, did we in the graves? Did we we found bodies? Yes. Skeletons. Yes. Can we take some of the DNA? And it's like similar DNA. Get out of here, prosecutor.

We're not doing that. Can we 23 and me this? Let's get some swabs in here. Let's go. So there's this there's a ritual that lasts a day. Just to clarify, there's a ritual that lasts a day. It's very seems like very high divine magic, basically, but it can be done on up to eight people that would do massive damage to a demon or to anything. Specifically, someone who has benefited from demon power, someone who has to be a connection. OK, got it. And then the other big takeaway from this is there's a spell that opens a portal to hell up in the the demonic library.

Yep. OK. Do we hear me out, you guys? Do we want to rip out the pages of the book that talk about opening the spell and like tear apart and like eat them or something? Hmm. That's not a bad idea. Destroying the pages of what opening the thing. That's so like loose around like that's a really good idea. Can we do that? Oh, yeah. Somebody go ahead. The guy ripped out a page and then brilliant backs up. Wait, wait, wait. Before we destroy it, let's have a book burning. We need to scan it first. It's only a partial book burning at the hole. We only have a problem with this chapter.

Are there any cool recipes in it or anything under the life and Laura section? Actually, there's a there's a there's a bunch of recipes written very colloquially. Yeah. So, yeah, so kind of like does that thing where he holds a page as if he's going to tear it and looks around at everybody like it's going to get mad. And then if nobody stops him, he'll rip those pages out of the book. Are you sure? How many pages is it? You're so to be clear, you're going after everything about the dome. Everything about the dome. Yeah. Everything about them. Just specific.

Yes. Specifically the ritual on how to ritual for that. So you're ripping out like six pages. What if I just ripped out the last page? Oh, my God. How mad would she be if she killed us all? Got the book and let's be. Oh, son of a bitch. You can leave a note. I know that's in there. I'm sorry. Is large. It's for the future. Where's our business card? We'll leave. Here's a good question. Are there any pages ripped out right now? Nope. I don't think you're going to be able to pull that. Yes. Some bad. Can you even? Yeah. Can you even rip it? I'm curious. Now that it's unearthed, does it have any.

Can we feel any magic? Someone do magic magic. As opposed to the other magic illusion. Yeah. Shit. Can I roll in our kind of check on it before large grifts us up? Yeah. Oh, boy. Well, Calvin's going to feel something now. There's. Imagine you could close your eyes and I can't I can't imagine that. Allow me to finish. So imagine you're closing your eyes and you can feel things almost that transfer to sight. This book is like a big fuck off beacon. It's like it's sending a signal out to something. And with that 18. You're going to feel like in your heart of hearts.

That something has picked up on that and is moving to your location now. But wait. Something knows we have this book and it's moving towards us. I don't know. I don't know from where. And I don't know how fast. But this is a lighthouse. This book that we should do something now, shouldn't we? Is it something bad? I'm not sure. All I know is it must be powerful. Is it malevolent? Does it feel malevolent? Does it just feel magical? It feels otherworldly. OK. It doesn't feel like Vecna, if that makes sense. This doesn't feel like daddy at all. No, no, that's not daddy's journal.

So what do we do? I think it's time for some teleport. I hope you said that. Yeah, I am. Grillin rolls up his sleeves, exposing his fucking necrotic skin. It's just a little action. That's all. How long do you think to draw this bitch? An hour. Oh, fuck. All right. Well, watch my back. So I begin with I imagine I have chalk just kind of carving on the floor or drawing on the floor. Are you doing it on the bridge? No, I'm going to do it like on our side of the bridge, whatever side we're on. I assume that we crossed it already, right? Yeah. Yeah. So this might be a little better, like a stick and dirt type of situation, you know, like you could even do that.

Yeah, yeah. I'll do that then. Or like a rock. I'll just get a rock so it digs deeper. Yeah. A little bit up to like this. I envision it like we're on the other side of the bridge away from the entrance of the forest. Oh, yes. And it's like the left. So it's off whatever path is there. It's like maybe like a couple like five to 10 feet away from the path. And I'm just carving in the dirt. So Bralen is almost done with this. It takes a full hour. Like, it's very intricate. Like the details of this thing. And it's one of those things where you probably have a book that you're referencing.

It's like, ah, this line could be straighter. This thing. Like, you want to... First time looking at the book, like when you get one of those, uh, how to draw cartoon characters in five steps. Yes! Exactly. He's like, oh, nope, there's a mustache here. Whoops. It's like you're looking up how to fix your plumbing, but you got to do it through a YouTube video and you got to rewind like four times. It's like, that's fucking garbage disposal. Like it's so like so there's going to be a bit of that. And I imagine Bralen's got like that, like you're giving him a little space.

So in the meantime, you're probably taking a look at this book. You're looking around and you're going to hear a noise. Everybody but Bralen. Do me a favor. Give me a perception check. That's not a high one. Oh, there's a good roll. Get rid of it now, Callie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that one out of here. Yeah. Do I really only have a plus one to perception? Apparently that roll didn't help. Yeah. I rolled lower than you, even though I'm higher than you. Slowly but surely. Across the bridge. Coming from the black tip forest, you can see a figure emerging. And the reason you see this figure.

Is because it's clearly wearing some sort of tattered white dress. And it is the best way to describe it is shambling, desperately clawing and shambling its way towards you. But there's a pronounced limp. It's slow. And she has this long cascading black hair that parts every once in a while with the breeze. But no matter how much that hair parts, you can never distinctly make out facial features. It's like things keep shifting and blurring and it is deeply unsettling. There is something about this figure that is instantly it just makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

And she is going to reach the opposite side of this bridge. And she is about that. The total length of this bridge is about 50 feet. We cut the bridge down. We're absolutely destroying this bridge. It is a wooden bridge. It is not a rope bridge. We light it on fire and then we cut it down. The whole time, Brielen is like, "Hey, what's going on back there?" It's like a kid playing with a rock in the dirt. So we don't have a way to destroy the bridge in time? Because here's the thing. I immediately hand the book to Calvin. I think she wants this. And then, Lelaina and whoever else wants to help are going to go about trying to figure out how to destroy this bridge, I think.

Yeah, Tatiana would help. I would like to cast... How wide is the bridge? It's about 10 feet wide, I'd say. 10 feet wide, 50 feet long. I'm going to try and do it anyway to buy them some time. I'm going to cast Shape Water and call up some water from the river that we're on to fill a space. Flavor-wise, it freezes. In actuality, it's not actually that far along. But I call up some water to splash onto the bridge to create a barrier as big as I can. Do you want me to do the dimensions of that again, really quickly? It's 5 foot cube in a range of 30 feet. So, somewhere out on the bridge.

And it sounds like it wouldn't cover the entirety of it, but if I maybe cast it in the middle, there's not enough room on the sides. You gotta squeeze through that bitch, and that'd be hard. That makes sense. So, you're going to lose sight of her. Because this wall is going to sort of... If it's frozen, I imagine it's much tougher to see through. And let's just say for flavor's sake, it is. For meta's sake, it's supposed to be a translucent water wall type of thing. But you are going to see, after I'd say, I don't know, 30 seconds, you're going to see this gray, ashy hand wrap around the side of this wall.

And she is going to step barefoot out behind it and just walk around. Right about this time, Braelyn is done and ready to go. He's going to scream out, "Okay, I'm finished!" And he turns around and sees the lady on the bridge, "Oh shit!" Oh, I can freeze it! I can't freeze it. It is frozen. It is real frozen. Okay, good. Bye. Before we go, can I roll religion just to see if I know what this is? What this thing is? Uh, yes? I want to do it. I didn't do it. I got a 10. 10's not going to do it. What is that? It's not Vecna. I throw the bell at it. No. I know that. You can't do that.

Alright, let's go. Let's get out of here. Okay, so I'll finish the final sigil with the rock. Throw the rock into the woods. And then what do I see? Are you trying to take your horses? I mean, I'm leaving mine. I'm giving fuck. Couple of problems with that. One, horses are, well, not careful about what they step on, so they could muck up the sigil. And two, it's a 10 foot diameter, so it could be tricky. Bye, horsey-keys. I feel like we're giving the horses a whack in the ass to get running down the road and we're gonna... Right. Take one? Maybe one. One horse?

We could fit maybe one or two. Like, if we get on the horses, that gets rid of... I could do horse math real quick if you'd like. Um... No horse math. It's like super dense, right? Well, yeah, we're not cutting it up. We're just gonna squeeze it into this. So, okay. You know what? I don't think horses are 10 feet long. No. You definitely wouldn't be able to fit six of them in there. Oreo lavender to me. Lizard face can go. We don't need lizard face. Yeah, I kick Rumpjumper. Like, "Get the fuck out of here!" Never liked you. Give it a Shawn Michael super kick. What was my horse's name?

Cornhole? Cornhole? Mine's name was Spike. I still love him. I think we should keep Spike. We're keeping Spike, Oreo lavender... Gargle mind. Gargle mind. So this ritual is a one time, like, instantaneous thing where we all get in a sigil and then boom. And it's not like that. I mean, I don't know where we're going, but we go somewhere. Oh, I was just about to ask. I'll do it in character. Braelyn, where is this taking us? He just goes, "Ha ha! Yes!" And then he... [Laughter] Alright. Here we go. Alright, so ideally, Jason, I want to go... If you tell me where you'd like to go...

Sss... 60 miles south? So, was that probably like the edge of Dragon's Reach? Right in between the Blistering Peaks and the Hazon Mountains? If I'm not mistaken. Yeah, if we're using... So let's do this all scientific-like and use the scale. So, I need a pointer. We're going to draw a little arrow. And... ba-bam! 60 feet. And... let's drag that down. Oh my god, if we only move 60 feet... Sorry! 60... 60 miles. Sorry! Did you just show up down the road a little bit? Oh shit, do it again, dude? [Laughter] I need to draw another one! Uh, so... If you did 60 miles...

Yeah. That would basically be like... It's a straight shot, so that would be like... Two and a half days of travel. Oh, fuck it. Yeah, so this would save you a shitload of time if it goes correctly. So, basically you'd be skipping the whole trek west to Donhurst and then doubling back and then coming... So, it puts you right in the middle of Dragon's Reach, basically. Can we make it a little more east? Yeah, I was aiming for the hills, if possible. The foothills right before the Hazon Mountains. So, a little more to the right. So that'd be more like 70 miles or so, but we could totally do that.

You want to try for the road? Yeah, why not? Okay. So yeah, we're talking like 75 miles or so. That's not bad. That's not too bad. All I can think about is in Galaxy Quest when the guy came back inside out. Oh my god. Why are you thinking that? [Laughter] Do we know the adverse effects? Like, all the things that could go wrong? Well, I don't think Braelyn would tell you. No, I wouldn't tell anyone. [Laughter] So Braelyn said, "Time for teleport," and then started making a circle. We all jumped in. I feel like that's one of those things like, "Wait, you could do that all the time?

Why haven't we done that?" So, okay. Here's Khobly. So, this figure, you're gonna hear those bare feet, kind of like... [Clicking] That gentle padding on the wooden bridge. And with the ice, I imagine there's this kind of damp, kind of like, just patter. Just like... [Pats] And as this teleportation ring... These are just drawings of dirt. But as Braelyn starts to cast this spell, you're gonna see this faint blue light fill all the little nooks and crannies of where he dug. And then this light is going to shoot up into a column. Now, let me tell you how this is gonna work.

I'm going to give you a difficulty based on how far it is you want it to go, and what your level is. And then I'm going to ask you to roll something to try and meet that difficulty check. Does that sound fair? Uh, yeah, so far. Sounds okay. So, we're playing into one of your skills, which is Arcana. Is that one of my skills? Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, it is! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do that? So, what we're shooting for... ...is 18 twice. 18 twice. Oh, boy. Yes. I can't bardic inspiration myself. So, this is going to light up blue and then flash. Like, that figure is going to get close to this teleportation circle, and then boom.

You're gone. Flash. Now, where you end up is up to you. Okay. First one. Here we go. Oh, 21. Nice. That's for the distance. So, you went 75 miles. Oh, hell yeah. Right in the barrier, man. At least. I mean, I'll take it if we're getting away from whatever that is. Yeah. Oh, that's one of the nastiest of the nastiest, too. Anyway. So, you went at least the distance. Now let's do accuracy. This is always my problem in real life. You got this. Oh, what? Oh, boy. You're king. Yes. Here, king. You dropped this. You are going in a flash. You're going to just boom. Reappear. Everything is going to...

You're staring at this wooden bridge, looking from the opposite side of the black tip forest. You're staring at this creature walking towards you. It appears to be human, but there's this really uncanny valley thing about it. It is not human. And it is reaching out to try and touch you, and then flash. You're in the middle of the road. Miles away. Completely safe. And then dust off his hands. So easy. And then you look and he starts breathing heavy. I can only do that one more time. Holy shit. When did you learn that? I got it from this book. And it'll have some random spells for dummies.

Like whatever they're going to miss. I would assume, Jason, that's fine. It's like a random spell book of some fallen wizard or something. The sigils were the only legible part. The rest of the mechanics of the spell were completely lost in a language that's lost to time or something, which would explain for why I have to roll what I have to roll. Yeah, it's very much just like what... When spellcasters find stuff like this, it's like what you're able to suss out from it. It's like, "Oh, that gives me an idea. I wonder if this could..." You know, that type of thing.

It's like, "Here's what horse sellers don't want you to know." It could be a Buzzfeed article. It doesn't matter. It's a spell that tells you how to take one day off of a month. That would turn into... Damn, it's Kevin the wizard. I knew it. So I think if we're going to do that again, let's take the road for a while and then skip after that, right? Like, out of character, let's get down to where we're parallel to the crossroads and then skip the wild part, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, as long as you don't fuck up and end up in the middle of the Silver Glade, you should be fine.

And we have a travel die. That's true. Let's travel die. Do you want to use a travel die? Yeah. How many days travel is it from here to that bridge on the map here? Yeah. Let's see. So you're on foot. Well, okay. It's three horses. You brought three horses, so you're going to double up. Okay. Well, wait. Jesus. Yeah, you could probably fit. I could also fly. That's true. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. It was more like I should have rolled to see if they mucked up the sigil, but I didn't. So whatever. It's fine. So I would say with horses, travel die, you're looking at...

Jesus, that's probably three days of travel. Three and a half days of travel, probably. Yeah, so boom, boom, boom, travel die, we're done. I want to also add, just to be clear, Oreo Lavender would have never fucked up the sigil because he is well trained and very good boy and knows dressage. He is very good boy. He sent the sigil fucker uppers away. I feel like Rump Dropper might have. He would have shat, he would have taken a dump right on the edge. Then you all would have been blended with poop. Perfect. Or were like a Brundle poop. Yes. Honestly, the worst I would have made you do is a Jeff Goldblum impression for like a day.

Oh, man. That's pretty bad. Alright, who wants to do me a favor and roll a travel die? I'm done already. I did my part. That's fair. You know what? Let's pick Jameson. Alright, that's a d4, yeah. That is a d4. Wow. Two days. I don't see it. Not registered? It landed on the thin border on the opposite side of the text window. Damn it. One. I tried. It's okay. On my tombstone it will say, "I tried." Mine will say, "I thought about it." One day is better than no days. That's true. It's true. So, here's where. Let's get rid of this line. Let's get rid of this line and move you right about here-ish.

Goodbye, my item opus. That's pretty good. So that's the second on that day when we get there? It would be nighttime on the second of Doolin. Okay. There it is. Wait, what? Sorry, hang on. We woke up on the morning of the first, did the spell, teleported, and then we would have had that full day, right? So it would be nighttime on the first? Because it only took us an hour to teleport, right? So we technically have the whole rest of the first day, right? Well, I was guessing you were going to rest. Like, this is a full day. When you do a travel diet, this is a 24-hour period.

Oh, it's a 24-hour period. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm presupposing you rested, you have your hit points, nothing happened to you on the road, that type of thing. Gotcha. I was assuming it was daylight hours only. No, I'm sorry. I should have been more clear. So, nothing happened. You're good. So, let's say- Second of Doolin, right? Yeah, second of Doolin. So then probably around noon or one o'clock? Why? Well, because you said it's a 24-hour period. If we got it that way- Yeah, sorry, not nighttime on the second. It would have been like you did your whole day, then you slept, then it's the second.

I'm sorry. I need to be more clear. So it is like 12 o'clock? It's morning. Right. Yes. So it's before noon. Gotcha. I remember when we didn't even notice it was afternoon. We slept so late. Yeah. And now we're tickle and diming. Yeah. I feel like it's because it's nighttime. You got somewhere to be. What do they have for breakfast though? Yeah, yeah. What's it look like? Yeah, okay. So, here's what we're going to do. I need a flat D20 from somebody and I feel like it's Valerie's turn. Okay. And here's an aside. Guys, I'm like killing it this episode in terms of talking.

I'm just saying. Like I'm so extramarited right now. What am I doing? A flat D20? I already forgot. Still on brand. Still on brand. Honey. Honey. Well, okay. Groupie. Groupie everybody. Seven. That's not- Just middle of the road. Oh, wait. I have inspiration. Should I use it? The answer is yes. Yes. Okay. I'm using my inspiration. Wait. Let me check the wording of something. Oh, no. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to use inspiration. I'm going to roll again. And go once. Lesson of the day everybody. Don't use your inspiration ever. This episode. Well, that's a six. So we're going to keep the seven.

At this point, I could launch combats at you, but I feel like you've paid your dues. What I will eat up is your time. So let's say that you just got harassed on the road today. There were bandits. There was this. There was that. You handled it, but it slowed you down. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna move you juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust a bit further, and I'm gonna eat up two of your days. Whoa! It is now morning on the fourth. We gotta go! I just wanna make sure, Braelyn, you-you got your spell slots back.

Yes, I have it back, yeah, I got it back. If we're long resting, I'll get it back. Yeah yeah yeah. I need another flat D20, Ian. Okay, come on... Hey, fifteen! You know what? Uh... two more days? Two more days, but you're at the bridge now. Do we want to go two days, or do we want to try and make a shot before then? Yeah, I was going to say before we travel. Should we try and teleport to the... Oh, do you want to do that? On the fourth. On the fourth! Oh, okay, just FYI, Brelin tells us in character, the closer we get to where they are, the better the chance of us not getting meshed together when I do this.

Yeah, but it worked last time. I was really lucky last time. I colored inside the lines, I connected the dots... [laughter] Well, how long are they waiting for us? Didn't we tell them... A day. ...would be there the third? And it's already... ...the fourth. Look, I'm going to say this out of character. They moved an entire army, a small army, hundreds of miles. They'll probably wait a bit. They're not going to bail if you're a day late. Things happen on the road. Can we do it? Brelin will ask, can I try on the fifth? When we move a little bit closer. Yeah. I feel I would feel safer with everyone's lives being in my hand.

It's your magic, it's your call. Okay. So let's do this. Would you take the 15, use it for one day rather than two, make it a really good one day? I did. You're good? We'd love her on the 15th. I have a question. While we're traveling and having this conversation, can I use divine sense to see if I can see if there's still a connection between this book and whatever that thing was? You sure can. I want to do it. It's not a role. You just got to tell me. There is. There is. With that, and I can read you the ability if you want, but can I tell it like, can this thing friggin run 100 miles an hour?

Is it just going to walk the whole time? Basically, I would say, can I sense how quickly it's approaching? I wouldn't say you can sense how quickly it's approaching. I'd say they did more of a common sense call. You looked at it. If it could run, it would have run when you were in sight of it. That's fair. Yeah. You know, so like, this is more like, I don't think it can run, but I don't think it's gonna forget to stop. So it follows. Basically, yes. So this is about 90 miles. Or are you trying to get up there where you're like, were you trying to go to Whitehead or that little crossroads to move?

Sorry, I didn't know if you were trying to stock up on anything beforehand. Okay. No, there's no time for that. Okay. How did you move your thing? Because I made it to see the distance and then I can't. Go to the base of it. The base of where you. Oh. So you're looking at another 75 miles. Ooh, you ready? Here we go. Like 70, but that's okay. Ralen will on the day on the, was it the fifth of Doolan? On the fifth. Ralen will start carving again in the ground and he'll mutter under his breath. Oh, boy. Wait, wait. Ralen, you can do this and Cauldron will take his headband of intellect off and put it on Ralen.

Oh, A squared plus B squared equals C squared. Exactly. That's exactly the wrong equation. But you nailed it the first try. Can I tell you a story just very quickly? So I really love the Ocean's movies. I haven't watched eight, but whatever. So I was showing, we watched them throughout the week. We watched them in sequence and we were drinking one night and this was hours after we watched the movie and Bree knocked on our door and I answered and she says, I get it. And I'm like, you get what? Ocean's 11 because his name is Ocean and that's his 11. And she was so proud.

Wait, what's his 11? There are 11 people. He has like 11 associates. Oh, it's Ocean's 11. Right. Wait, are the other movies the workout with the numbers too? Yes. Yes. I think so. You know what? I'm honestly glad you said that because I got the 11 part, but I always thought Ocean's was like the casino they were robbing or the bakery. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. His name is Danny Ocean. The guy's name is like John Ocean, isn't it? Yeah, Danny Ocean. Yeah, so it's Danny Ocean. Danny Ocean. Are you ready? Okay, so headband of intellect. What happens to my Arcana? It goes up to 19, which would make your modifier higher.

Wait, my intelligence goes up to 19? Your intelligence goes up to 19. Holy shit. It's a plus four. That'd be plus four whatever your modifier already is. Uh, well, one, so it'd just be plus three, actually. Yes. So my Arcana would be plus eight. Yes. All right. Okay. That's pretty big leg up. And as before, we're shooting for two 18s. Okay. Or higher. Reasonable, reasonable. I'm going to roll with my regular bonus, and then we'll just add three to it. And Jason, I can do that. You could just say you could just do it with the modifier or you can make me do math. That's what it's up to you.

No, I will do that myself. Okay. First one. 26. All right, so we're going. So you went the distance. Yeah. Now, okay. Before you roll this. No, devil. I will have no deals. No, no, no, no. It's not a deal. It's not a deal. Can I tell you what's north and south of your destination? I can. I am looking at the map, so I'm well aware of where I would end up. Do you know what's in those? The audience. Oh, please, please, Jason. Tell the audience. So south of your location isn't too bad. It would put you somewhere around that road unless you guys ended up in the river or something.

But it would put you within your destination. North of that is Knoll Country. And you could end up in a field with just a fucking pack of Knolls. Don't like that. I mean, what's that going to look like for them? So people just show up. We're gods. Knoll Country for get the fuck out. Just kill. She didn't think of it. Shut up. Knoll Country for old men. That's the name. Jason, that's the name of the thing that you know what? I think I legally have to use that as the damn name for this episode. Legally, if we end up in Knoll Country that you got to use that as a thing.

Yeah. All right. I have a really important question. Okay. Are there beaches in Theria? Yeah, they're on the map because we've always been at ports or cliffs. Can we all just go to the beach? Yes, that's an option. When we save the world for our Ian's and mine third time, we can go to the beach. We'll have a beach day. Wow. The beach, the beach. Nicky Minjot. Thank you. All right, shooting for an 18 or higher. Oh, that almost went through. 22. Fuck yeah, dude. Those are some great rolls tonight. Fucking really good. Good job. You guys needed it and I feel like you pulled through.

Good job. So again, this blue light is going to fill these little etchings and the dirt and just boom. You are going to instantly be transported to this crossroads almost dead on. Like you're probably several feet away, but that's probably good because wouldn't that suck if you just merge with a carriage or something like that or like I just transformed half into the net. So you are going to be off the trail here, but you'll be right there. And you're going to hear horses and shit react. And you're going to look over and see this battalion of fully armed and armored paladins of cord.

And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. Oh my god. Guys, it's time. We did it, Oreo. I did not think that was going to happen. I'm keeping the circuit, by the way. So that's mine now. Yoink. Yeah. Wow. Wait, so how is next session going to be like the big one if it'll like take a few days to get to Brightport? I mean, the 15th is the real scary day, right? That's the real scary day. But also you guys just traveled a lot in like we can simulate some time. That's true. Basically you're riding into Brightport. Like this is it. And we're traveling with a battalion.

I don't think bandits are going to-- Hell no. Yeah, who the fuck? We're not going to interrupt you by shit this time. No. You're riding pretty hot and heavy. Like you're riding deep. Now we have to come up with a plan. What are we going to do when we get there? Did we ever talk about that? I envision us being like LA Confidential where they're in that hotel and they're just like shotgunning all the bad guys. I feel like that's what we're going to do. We got a couple days. So. Yeah, we've got a few. I mean maximum we've got like 10 days before shit goes down. So we've got time.

Maybe nine days. Yeah, I think that was the plan from the beginning too. Is like let's all move out. We've got to meet here and we'll figure out what we need to do when we get inside the city. Right. Well because we didn't know what we were getting from the forest. So now that we know we can plan. Also, how many of us are there? Total in this party? Six. We got to give two other people in on this hyper power ritual. Hyper being. Oh yeah. I mean, wait, what are we talking about? Oh, I got it. I mean, it's Julia. Julia. Yeah, definitely. It's Julia Nuna is name is not Nuna.

Is he going to join us again? We'll see. Fine. Is this going to be like our last episode of arc three or just that's it? Yeah, that's it. Wow. This is it. Win, lose or draw. There's no drawing against the black hand. Well. I said it to be alive for the end this time. Well, I mean, who knows for how long we'll all be alive. Yeah, that probably spoke too soon. Oh, this is going to be so amazing. It's going to be cool. I'm looking forward to the next session to be a long one. Yeah. Hey everybody, I really hope you're all doing well and that you enjoyed today's episode next month.

Well, it's our finale. We have three episodes upcoming for you. That's we'll wrap up some storylines and wrap up arc three and then it's on to prepping for arc four. We'll be changing a bunch of stuff. We'll be probably releasing some surveys, asking you guys some questions, and mostly it's just time to freshen some stuff up. We really hope that you're enjoying everything that we're doing. Again, over at patreon.com/dandr. That is the place where you can get a whole bunch of extra content while you wait for new episodes. And it really helps us in paying bills and stuff and kind of keeping our nose to the grindstone.

The Adventurer's Guide to Theory of Volumemoron is coming to us via ship from China. So that should be here in, I don't know, the next month, something like that. It's supposed to be six weeks and then it gets to our shores, then it's in transit. Everything's kind of up in the air because of COVID, but we're hoping that Kickstarter backers should get their books by the end of August at the max, and it should be on sale at the beginning of September. We're actually planning some sort of marathon to launch the whole book, and we have a few surprises for that.

So we're working on a hundred things behind the scenes, and we just hope you guys are doing okay. I know 2020 has been a really, really rough year. And I wish I could do more to help you all out, but just stay safe out there. Keep listening and thank you for your support. We'll see you next week with extended rest, and we'll talk about these episodes and what could be happening for the future of the show. Thank you so much, and we'll see you next week. Bye!