Unforgiving Beauty

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(CLINKING) Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators. Rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Welcome to ARC4 Episode 4. It's our last new group and the last episode of this month. Group Vanguard is about to head to Keyon, but before that we have to listen to just a few messages from our sponsors. Let's do that thing where we go around the table to introduce ourselves.

I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table starting with Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa. Lisa, we're gonna do a thing. Oh, okay. What's your favorite thing about Canada? James. Good answer. That's a good answer. So not Xavier. That's interesting. Well, I fed James in person and he gives really great hugs. Sorry Xavier. And Ryan. Hey, I'm Ryan and I play Yggman. Ryan, what's your favorite thing about Canada? Oh, I got a... you're making me pick? Okay, you can only have one. Like if you had... okay. If you could only grab one thing from Canada and smuggle it back to the US.

I'm gonna go with the maple syrup that Xavier brought to the DNR house that we had. Oh, that's the family maple syrup. Susan. Hi, I'm Susan. What's your favorite thing about Canada, Susan? I've... Just one? Poutine. Poutine, okay. And I have three very good friends who live there, so I hope none of them get mad at me. No, I... no. No. Canadians don't get mad. That's the... Um, Ian. This is Ian. What's your favorite thing about Canada, Ian? My friends. Oh. No, you know, my favorite thing about Canada is it feels like they're a nation in North America that knows what they're fucking doing.

Well, to piggyback on that, James. Hi. Nobody's perfect, right? Yours is tougher. What's your favorite thing about America? Hmm. You can say nothing. It's fine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We've had a rough couple years, man. It's fine. You can say... you can check in later. I've got lots of friends down there now. Yeah, that's true. Which is new. I don't know, can I see hamburgers and pizza? You guys have those. Can I say... You know what? We're gonna come back to you at the end of the episode, and then we're gonna grill you. And if you wait till the end, I'm gonna make you pick three favorite things about America.

You know, all my media consumption is basically... comes from the US. So I have to say that all the entertainment that has molded me has come from down south, and I love it. It's so weird to hear it described as down south. Down south. Oh my god. Guys, we're kicking things off today in the bustling city of Brightport. There's a celebration going on, and it's... it's a fairly subdued celebration as Brightport goes. It's a big party town when there's something to party about. But sadly, the last time they were getting ready to have a party, there was an all-out war in the downtown area, and some lady got impaled, so, you know, it's been a bit of a rough year.

So, this is about... it's about five and a half months after that, though. And they're ready to love again, which is good. Because it is the fifth of Ringway, and it is the day of love. It is the day of love and celebration. Hug somebody that is close to you, or if you're more intimate, do your thing. But, like, you know, not in the street. Please. We're not kink shaming. No, no. This is more about sanitary reasons. Like, it's... Brightport's not a clean city. Keep your holes clean. Welcome to Brightport. Keep your holes clean! Visit hellotushy.com/rings, and you can get 10% off your order, and "Keep your holes clean," I believe is their slogan.

We're never gonna play tonight, are we? No, we're not. No, we're not. You guys are in the offices of Bard and Amdyr. Now, Bard and Amdyr was a slightly small-time explorer. Up until a little while back, he came back from Kion and made a big name for himself. If you listen to him, he'll tell you a story about how he took a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears adventures up to Kion, and freed the gods, and showed them where to step, where not to step, or they'd be dead. So, he's built quite a name for himself on the back of that, and he has several ships out exploring.

And that is a blessing and a curse, because every once in a while, someone will come to him, hearing about his grand tales and things that he's accomplished, and they kind of request, not the impossible, but a pretty lofty mission is kind of thrust upon him. And his roster of explorers, they're all busy, so he needed to outsource. So, he has gathered four of you today, and you guys are ready to risk your lives, make some money, and see the world. So, in his offices, he would kind of have papers at the ready. He wants to seem as professional as possible.

He's not an organized man, but he's enthusiastic. Wow, I just insulted myself. I didn't realize that until I just said the words. So, not an organized man, but he'd welcome you all, and he's like, "Does anyone want a drink before we get started?" Oh, no, thank you. Gaius? Well, I was never one to pass up an opportunity to have a small beverage. Sure, of course, sure. I'm drinking, Aige. Now, standing next to Bardin's desk is a very tall woman. It kind of towers over him. Bardin's only, he's only like four, two, somewhere in there. He's not, he's a dwarf. He's not super tall.

This lady, you might describe as exotic. Definitely not from around here. So, could you give us a description? Yeah, she stands at six foot seven, so much taller than Bortin. She has bluish gray skin and dark gray braids, and she's a quar. So, she has the four fingers and her legs bend a different way, and she has hooves, but she's also wearing very respectable robes. These look like official robes. They have a symbol on them, and she just looks very well put together. Oh, and she has glasses. She looks like a very well put together woman who's standing very ramrod straight, and she just, yeah.

Are we talking big anime librarian glasses, or like those little Benjamin Franklin glasses? Little Benjamin Franklin. Little, like, sit at the tip of her nose. Excellent. So, she's smart. Okay, cool. So, we have sort of a, I don't want to say a mismatched group, but it's eclectic. That's for sure. Yes, no, it's, so let's, there's a lineup of you guys at the table here, and Bortin's gonna pour some drinks, but starting with Ryan, give us a description. Yeah, so, Yeckman's a gnome paladin, and he has a bald head that was shaved about, probably about a week ago.

He also has like a hard to see white five o'clock shadow that was probably shaved around the last time, but he has this large gruff white mustache that is fluffy enough to hide his mouth and kind of hang past his jawline. And he looks around with kind of, with a battle-hardened tan face, eyes showing evidence of about 50 years of just smiling and laughing and optimism. His armor matches him, which is on the heavier side, and it's a combination of patchwork metal plates and heavy cloth that, the bulk of his armor kind of just frames a green and white tabard showing off the allegiance to Melora.

He carries a small shield on his back and an elegant bladed war pick on his hip. Ian, what about you? Corvus Eben is a young man, probably like 16 or 17. He's got dark features, dark eyes, dark hair, and it's shaved on the side and then like pulled back down the middle with maybe a couple of braids, so like viking hair, if that brings a picture for you. He's got a pretty athletic build. He looks really young. He's average height. He's got this armor on that's this dark, matted scale armor that looks brand new, and the scales are made to look like feathers on it.

And he's got a little like raven skull hanging around his neck, and those are the only things that look new. Everything else looks well worn that's hanging off of him. There's an old iron kettle. He's holding an old beaten shield that's got writing on the inside. We can't see what it says just yet, but he's got a big heavy well worn shovel sticking up out of his bag. And then as these drinks are being taken, he takes one and he drinks it and then like, "Oh, you meant alcohol. You meant a drink of..." "Oh, no, I can... No, this is fine." And he's wiping his mouth.

Lisa? Velamind, or Vella as she likes to go by, is a very small for her species, Minotaur, standing at like six foot one, and she's probably fairly slender for a minotaur too, almost anemic looking. She's got kind of like dark fur with white patches, just kind of scattered throughout, and her horns that you can see that have been sticking up out of the top have been sharpened to points. So she's actually put some effort into polishing them up and sharpening them. She's kind of standing there in her just kind of worn leathers that are probably polished slightly because she was like, "I'm going to make a good impression." And she takes a little bit of pride even though she can't afford the nicer stuff.

She's like, "I'll be damned if I'm not going to try my best," because she is slightly vain. So she's just kind of standing there aloof and she's not going to take the alcohol but she's going to cast a side eye. She'll be like, "Okay. Oh, honey." Did you say you'd describe her as kind of shaggy? Yeah, probably a little bit. I mean, she's probably tried to run a comb through her fur at least up top, but yeah, probably shaggy. Definitely kissed to try and break up the illusion of a silhouette if it came to it. And last and certainly not least, James. Hi. I'm playing Gaius Reine, the human druid.

Now he is a sturdy feller, probably stands around 6'1", 6'2". He's in his 50s. He wears, start at the top, he wears this like kind of looks like a bandana crown and it's got like deer antlers coming off of it. And he's got a big bushy beard streaked with grey. He wears a hooded cloak, hood down because the antlers, right? Leather bracers. He's got a little necklace with like a bird skull hanging off of it. And, you know, usual pouches and that. He wears a kilt underneath this hooded cloak because instead of like, you know, he's probably going to get questions about this, but from his, about his knees down, his legs are basically, he was like maybe cursed, something like that.

His legs from the knee down are made up of like, almost like vines, like really hard wood vines that are making up in the shape of his leg and feet and all that. And they function normally. So there's a little swamp thing in there? Sort of, yeah. Yeah. So it started at his toes when he was younger and it's worked its way up to his knees so far. Oh. So I will warn you, a kilt on Kian might be problematic. His legs don't feel anything. I'm not worried about your legs. There's something underneath that kilt that you might do. Let's say he wears underwear. I mean, it won't be after- Winter wear.

Big fur underwear. Maybe a kilt. A big fur diaper. Long johns in the butt flap. You gotta have the butt flap. He's probably one of those guys who's like, "The kilt doesn't bother me, it's all in the mind." I don't know. Then again, he's not that bright according to the stats, so. You're the dad in the short sleeves and shorts who's like, "I'm fine." I saw that guy today. A long socks on too. I was like, "What are you doing?" That's Canada. That's what I love about Canada. That guy. So, while it is winter on the mainland, I feel like you all know what kind of laugh at that.

Not derogatory, but it's like, "Oh, okay." Oh, yeah, she's wearing very thin robes that cut off a tank top. Her arms are exposed and she's wearing very loose clothing. 'Cause this is hot. And I mean, Brightport is a city, obviously, right next to the ocean. It gets cold. You get the breeze coming off it, it gets cold. So, it's not like you guys are slouches. It just gets to around -90 to -120 degrees on Qui-An in places. In the middle of a flash frost? If you're out in it, you're dead, basically. You have to be very clever. Barden, after you guys drink or spit it out or whatever you're gonna do.

Alright, so, I appreciate you all signing up. And I'm gonna turn things over to Yelena here. And she's gonna, you know, uh... Well, it's an interesting one. Yelena? Hello, all. My name is Yelena Elry. Oops. And she puts her hand on her chest and puts her hand forward. You may call me Alma. Alma. I am a Quar Amissary, and I have come at the request of my people and partnered with this man here, and the Amdír Exploratory Institute, in order to solve a mystery. There has been a beating in my homeland, and this noise has not stopped for some time. We do not know its source.

It's not a... I'm so sorry. It's not like a physical beat, like a punching. No, no, no. It is a beating noise that reverberates throughout the mountains. We live in a valley, and we do not know its source. We have tasked the Amdír Exploratory Institute with finding a group of brave and inquisitive individuals in order to locate the source of this noise. We will be traveling to my homeland, Kian, where we will face many dangers, not only that of monsters, but that of the land. For my homeland is not forgiving. She's a firecracker, ain't she? Alright. Just one more question.

Is there a way that you're looking for that's maybe less brave, like second-guessing? So many questions. It's easy. We go to the cold, we find the drum, and we're good. That's it. That's all. It's a drum? Yep. Drum. We are uncertain. It's a drum. I don't know. That would be one big ass honking drum. Well, maybe. I don't know. The point is, if you help Alma here with this beating thing, and all the little weird goings on up there, well, I'll pay you handsomely if you bring back documentation. I need a new book, and I'm relying on you a lot. Alright, sounds good. Drum it is.

So, like, what kind of documentation are you... Just take extensive notes, sketches, write down what you see, you know? And maybe some personal journaling or something like that. Is that what you're looking for? I'm reading your face and it's saying no. So, no? You're... Okay. You're very fidgety, and you're at, like, an eleven. I need you at a four. Yeah, no, this is... I'm zeroed out right now. This is my resting heart rate. I'm very calm. I'm gonna give you another drink, and I want you to swallow it. It's very important. Yes, I'm... Oh, God. I'm fine. This is fine.

That was very good. That was a good drink. Barden, do you mind if I try explaining? Uh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, I'm no slouch when it comes to Kianna. I've been there. I can tell you stories, trust me. But, yeah, uh, Yalma here has paid us quite handsomely to investigate this. And, well, we don't like unsatisfied customers. So, you lot will be taking our best ship. This is cutting-edge stuff. This is, uh, the onslaught. It's reinforced iron skirting, and there's actually this makeshift propulsion system that's gonna cut right through ice.

Get you as close to the continent as we can. Sounds good, then. Um, he's gonna, like, look over to Gaius and just kind of whisper, "Uh, you're gonna take notes for me, right?" Sure. I mean, I haven't written in a while, but, uh, you know, I just hope they have that soup that I like on board. I'm sure we'll find it somewhere. It's gonna be fine. I gotta ask a question. Uh, 50s? That's a little old to... You're not... Okay, are you more of a grizzled adventurer, or are you just starting out? You're just looking for a career change? Depends on who you're talking to.

He, uh... For Gaius? Yeah! This is a calling, let's say, by the planet itself. He doesn't really have a choice in the matter. Oh. Okay. Okay. He's serving Theria. Serving iron man. Is what he's doing. Okay. Well, I won't ask again. I'm sorry to question you. No, it's fine. It's fine. I would have, you know, let it come out during roleplay later, but fine. You gotta know. Well, we're teeing stuff up. People are impatient, James. Um, you! Fleabag! Um... You're awfully short for one of your kind. I was hoping when I saw Minotaur on the list you'd be bringing some hard-packing power, but I don't suppose we hired you for your brains.

Um, Vella will just, like, give him the most, like, disgusting, like, once-over. You don't need to worry about me packing a punch. I can handle myself, thank you. He's gonna... He's gonna think about rolling his eyes, but thinks better of it. He's trying to be professional. Mmm! So professional. That's him being professional. That's the nicest a dwarf will probably talk to a minotaur, usually. So... Ah, fair. I feel like they're feeling so mutual. Yeah, no, I... Yeah. So, upon seeing that, she'll probably take whatever abandoned drink that Corvus had put down and then just slam it.

Just like, okay. He just watches her. He's just looking at her like, "What?" How can you drink that poison so much? There's so much in that one. Alright, alright. I'm not gonna take up a bunch of your time. So, here's what's gonna happen. My crew is gonna drop you off on the continent, and Yalweh here is gonna take you and escort you to her place, and, well, they'll circle back in three or four weeks. Something like that, and pick you up. How's that sound? Sounds great. Find the drum, come back. Easy peasy. Alright. Yaldala. Anything else? That was Susan. All knows much more composed.

I wish listeners could have seen Susan's face, because it was... I do not want to get in between Susan and Susan. No, I believe that is all. Although, if you have any further questions along the way, I will be more than glad to answer anything you may ask. That's very... that's reassuring to hear. I have a lot of... I just have a lot of questions. And I have the ears for listening. Feel free to go ahead. Alright, I got a three o'clock, so I need you people to just kind of skedaddle. I got the things to do. Oh, oh, we're done. Alright. Yup. And he just kind of turns and points towards the door.

Oh, he's gonna toss you... I almost said he's gonna toss you his sack. He's gonna toss you his... he's gonna toss you some gold. His sack. I politely refuse his sack. Except not very politely. There's your gold. The boat... the boat is filled with furs and everything you should need. It's gonna be cold, so get ready for that. You... uh... uh... old guy... um... uh... this dress... um... I don't know if that's what you want to be wearing when you head north. Well, the... I mean, the legs don't really feel much, but, uh... Wasn't worried about your legs? I got this bearskin thing... fur... uh...

I'm okay. I'm okay. It's a bearskin fur thing. That's what it's called. Look, we're not calling it a fur diaper. We're not calling it a... It's a bearskin... Ah, furry! Okay, no, I'm well acquainted with furries. It's fine. Bearskin furbries. Boxer briefs. Bearskerbries. Whatever keeps your giblets warm. It's fine. It's fine. I appreciate the concern. I'll be alright. Alright, skedaddle, skedaddle, get out of here. Get out. Oh, Yggman's already out of the office. Oh, okay, cool. That's fine. He said onward, so he's marching. I'm holding open the door for everyone. That might have been like a... it's like, "oh, before you leave, guy, um... dress for the... dress for the..." I'm worried about your business.

I feel like on the way out, like, Vella would probably turn to, like, probably Alna, and just be like, "is he always concerned with genitals?" I've only accounted for one situation so far, but I'm keeping a tally. Check. That's part of the mandatory company picnic stuff. Like, he just checks and is like, "how's your genitals?" "Alright!" Like he's just... routine bonding stuff. I need to speak to HR. You missing your contract? You should have known this when you signed. I hope you didn't sign anything, though. It's called the Ender Exploratory. It's in the name.

You just... it's... Oh, no. So, the dock... it's not as busy this time of year. It's kind of the off-season for a lot of stuff, but there's still trade, there's still fishing and junk, but the ship you guys are gonna be using is easy to spot. This thing is a tank. It is... the entire front and all along the sides is just this reinforced iron skirting. It is... I don't want to use the word unsinkable, because in human history, when that word is thrown around, bad things seem to happen. So let's not taunt the fates. I've never heard of one. That's not a thing.

No. But you'd hear the bells ringing on the ship as you guys are loading everything up, and everybody's like, "All right, we're gonna depart soon. Let's go," that type of thing, just kind of hustling you up. If you were to get aboard, I'm curious... How much did y'all need to pack? Is this like a clothes on her back type of thing for this entire journey, or did you pack weeks' worth of stuff? I'm curious. Seven suitcases, I guess. Trunks full of stuff. Well, I think it would be like a duffel bag that she leaves wherever she's staying, and then her traveler's bag that she...

So kind of like the bag you check in and the carry-on. The carry-on. Okay, cool. That's good. Yeah, so... You know, they charge you 30 gold extra for every checked bag. I know, I know. It's a scam. And if you go over the weight limit, then it's like a markup. Ugh. And then they don't have enough space for your carry-on anyway, so you gotta check something else. And somehow they lose your luggage on a different ship. Yeah, I've only been on the one ship. Oh, remember airplanes and airplane humor? Oh, man. Don't get me started on the meals. Uh... What the... So... Who has experience on ships?

Not, not, not actually crewing one. That's not your job. There's a crew. Who has experience on rocking back and forth on the sea? Yekhman would. Okay. I'll know how to get here. That's true. I don't think, I don't think Vella would. Can I... Lisa? Ian? James? Yeah. Could I get you all to roll a Constitution save to see how well you take this? Sure. Let's say... Yes! Oh, you should have said yes. Okay! It's a... Contact! Yeah! Oops. Oh! Did I roll twice? No. Oh, awesome. You guys are great! You take to the sea like a fish. Vella handles it better than I do. I've never been on a boat and I don't know how I'd handle it.

I found out the hard way. Is it, you gotta look, no you don't want to look at the horizon? I forget what it is. I thought it was you, I don't know. I thought it was you look at a still point? Yeah, yeah. You want to look at the horizon. Want to, okay, yeah. Well that's why I threw up all those times. I'm looking right at the water! I don't understand. [laughter] So here's what we're gonna do. To kick off this. I want to point out one thing. Is that cool? Yeah! Anytime Gaius is walking around, you're gonna hear him because he's anti-stealth. His wooden feet on the wooden deck. [laughter] It's clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp everywhere he goes.

He prefers... Swedish, gotcha. Yeah, he prefers the mud. Okay. Thank you. I don't know why that tickled me so much. Corvus has questions for... Jolnir? Jolnir. Jolnir. Jolnir. Jolnir? I'm so sorry, I feel like I started that. I'm so sorry Susan, that was just supposed to be a bit. I was practicing it, I was like, she'll just be called Jolnir. [laughter] Did... I don't want that to happen. So yeah, Corvus will come up to Jolnir and be like, "Hi, Corvus, Evan, from the... That's not him. And your name is... I couldn't quite get it because the dwarf kept kind of... He gave several.

It's Jolnir, right? You may call me Alna. Alna, great. That's so much easier to say. Thank you. So what kind of stopped your people from not investigating this? Why did you have to reach so far across the sea? Why couldn't you handle it yourself? My people wanted to branch out and start having relations with those of the other lands. So we thought this was a good opportunity to hire outsiders to explore and see our home city. That it will be our first stop, the city of Saunt. From there we will go and explore the noise. Oh, okay. So you haven't actually been out there yet?

No. No, I have not. I volunteered to go forth, but my people wanted to hire... People from the MDE Exploratory Institute, so I offered to act as the emissary. Is it dangerous, do you think? I will not lie. It is. It will be. Great. So good. Cool. But as long as we all use our strengths, I'm sure nothing will happen. Right. And all the cleric stuff that you were expecting, that's handled. That's taken... you know... we're good. J'onn'n is going to let out a little smile. I hope that you do not think less of me, but I have only been practicing my magic for a small time.

Oh, really? Yes. So I hope that I do not bring you down. Do your people have religion? Do they do confession kind of stuff? Where I tell you a secret and then you're bound to not bring it up? Nothing that specific. Before you even sidles up closer and you're like, "I may have exaggerated my resume a little bit." You know how you do. You say you organize large groups of people and teams, but really what you mean is that they're dead. I'm not a grave digger. J'onn'n is going to put a hand on your shoulder. Young one. It is fine. I can feel the magic in you. Cool.

Very few personal boundaries. Great. Cool and good. He looks down. Are you wearing shoes? No. She has hooves. Like cloven feet. Yeah, he's just looking at your feet basically and just like, "Do you wear any shoes?" I have no need for those. But it's cold, right? Okay. Cool. Good talk. This has been good. The thing that we spoke about probably don't mention. I've got a lot more questions, but I feel like this has gone really well and I want to step away before I ruin it. Do not worry. Your secret is safe with me. You have a really calming presence. That's really nice.

I'm glad to be of assistance. Great. So while that's going on, behind the scenes you have Yeggman near the edge of the boat smacking the metal plating. "Guys, get a load of this!" Just in awe of the ship. Just hitting the ship in general? Just big pats. But he's just moving around and leaning halfway over the edge just looking at the plating and quickly moving from different points and perspectives to look at it. Every time he stops it's just another couple big pats. Something about the quality of the wood. How does it rate to your legs? Right? The legs are supreme hardwood vines.

It's weird. No, he'd definitely be looking around and poking and tapping things with his quarterstaff and admiring the craftsmanship and sturdiness of the vessel. So he'd be enthusiastic about it. Here's what we're going to do. To set you guys up, you're going to get a travel die. Just to get started. Now, you don't need to use that right now, but I did share a map with everybody. Just a map of Tharia. And you can see where you guys are starting here in Brightport. Now it's going to take you about a week and a half to get to Kion proper and probably another day to cut through the ice to land.

So you're in for a bit of a trek. If there's anything you guys want to ask about on your way, maybe read up on whatever you think you'd be doing before getting there. But each day you're going to notice that it gets a little colder and a little colder. And by the time you see land again in Kion again, it's going to be about 10-11 days. It is just pure white. It is gorgeous. Crystal clear blue water and just ice and snow as far as the eye can see. There right now is a mild snowstorm going on, which is not rare for the area, but it's absolutely freezing.

Several times the crew has to come out and clear off all the ropes and everything like that because condensation just keeps icing down the sails. And they keep batting the stuff off. So the decks themselves are usually slick with ice. They've had a couple of almost losing a crew member once or twice just falling over. But this is a gorgeous, dangerous place. Is there anything you guys wanted to look into, read about, talk about before we set foot on land? We're headed to Kosana, right? Is sort of our landfall or as close to it? That's Talor. Oh, right. I'm done.

Totally opposite. Like that's no. Yeah. Okay. Where's the city then that we're... If you look up in Kion, in the mountains up there, Fingalice Ridge. I took notes from that video. Oh, got it. Okay. Yeah. So yeah. Fingalice Ridge. I remember that. But Susan, you said you were seeing your city or something, right? Yeah. The city of Sont. Sont. Thank you. That's what I was thinking of. I mean, so I think just kind of in general, Yegman would just be talking to the crew that was assembled, just trying to get to know them a little bit. But he's not going to research anything particular.

Alma does want to infuse people's weapons and armor if they want it. She'll approach them along the way. She could only do this once a day. So she'll approach someone and say, "Do you want me to enhance your armor or do you want me to enhance your weapon or do you want me to enhance your arcane focus?" What is that? I have the ability to add to and strengthen either your weapon or your armor if you would like. Does it work on shovels? I mean, let me see what I got. I will say be careful because once you say yes, you're going to get a lot of emails asking if you'd like to enhance your weapon.

Yeah, all the time. I have returning weapon for throne or just any kind of weapon, repeating shot for crossbows and shortbows, meaning you don't have to load it with any ammo. It just automatically loads ammo. Enhanced arcane focus, which adds plus one bonus to your spell attacks and then enhanced defense, which adds plus one to your armor. Damn. Yeah, Yegman with the heart is just kind of like taking his armor off. He's like, "All right, we're enhancing it." Okay, so... It's party! It's a week and a half, so she'll do one of these a day. So Yegman's first...

So at first it looks like she's just laying on this thick tar stuff on it, and at first you probably think that she's ruining it. And then it kind of starts to harden and then absorb into your armor over the course of the day. And then you get plus one bonus to spell attack rolls. In addition, the creature ignores half cover. Yeah, so plus one to stuff to your armor. Okay. If you give Vella the option for doing that, she'd pick probably the throwing and returning ability? Yeah, it's called Repeating Shot. With her daggers. Okay, it gives you plus one bonus to attack and damage rolls when it's used to make a ranged attack.

Only when it's a ranged attack, though. And regardless if it hits or doesn't, it returns to your hand no matter what. And what's the name of this ability? I'm using Infusion, Artificer Infusion, but it's... And you're getting Repeating Shot. Thank you. That's so cool. I imagine once you infuse it or whatever and you give it back to her, she's gonna... Oh, Returning Weapon. Sorry, I gotta make it up. Once you give it back to her, she'll find some sort of test dummy or a wooden spot and she'll just test this out and continually throw these daggers and just have fun with it.

She's like, "Yes!" Does that use it up? No. It lasts as long as I'm alive. Oh, wow. Oh, shoot. Okay. And then for yours, she takes out the string that's glittering a little bit. It has a red and silver cord and she wraps it around the handle and then just ties it and that also absorbs into your weapon after a day. Yes. Can you do me? What would you like me to do? Definitely the armor one. Definitely that one. Alright. I will need your armor. Okay. I'm just gonna go and take it off and then I'll come back. If that's okay. No. No. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's fine too. No, she doesn't know sarcasm.

Yes, that is fine. Okay, he takes it off. Gives it to you. And also it's like this black tar stuff that initially looks like she's ruining your armor. But as the day goes on, it absorbs into it. Well, I saw it happen to Yegman. Yegman sounds like it's fine. By the way, when you're doing that to Yegman's armor, he never batted an eyelash. He's like, "Oh, okay. Alright." Well, it's just a straight up +1 to AC. Enhanced defense. +1. Wait, am I looking at the wrong one? One second. No, you're looking at the right one. So it's +1 to AC while wearing the armor. Yeah.

I assume you're gonna do this each day. Yes. Whoever wants something. Yeah. If it's a week and a half, I could do this once a day. So I could do 10 days of stuff. Let me ask you a question. And this is key. Do you have to be alive or conscious? Alive and then it lasts five days after I die. Oh. Good to know. Okay. Because it's based upon my intelligence modifier, so it lasts while you're alive and then your intelligence modifier days after you die. That is effective. My god. That's good stuff. Okay. So what does it do for a weapon? Enhance arcane focus. While holding this item, the creature gains +1 bonus to spell attack rolls.

In addition, the creature ignores half cover when making a spell attack. Oh. Well then. I think Gaius would come forth with his quarterstaff, if you may. Yes. Of course. So for the arcane focus, Yalna has this little trinket that like, she brushes over it and it like dust it with something. And when you go to grab it while it's dusted, it's actually sticky, even though it looks like dust. Sticky dust. And then that absorbs after a day. Cool. This is so cool. When she's doing that, he's going to look at her and just say, "You know, I hear the drumming. I hear it in my head.

It's been with me for a while now. The planet put it in my veins through the mud. And it gets stronger as we travel." Yalna tilts her head, but it's not like, "Really?" It's more like, "Huh." That is curious. Are there any narcotics that Gaius is currently taking? You didn't think? But... no. I mean, there's a company drug test. I feel like that would be disclosed. It seems like he parties, though. Well, he believes that he communes with nature, so... It could be mental illness? I don't know. Well, that just raises a lot of questions we shouldn't probably answer on this show.

He knows of it, and he's going somewhere where allegedly it is. So make of that what you will. Eleven days are going to pass. And you guys have gotten a chance to get to know each other a bit, those of you who were strangers. And if you take a look here... We're going to reach the shores of Kian. And you are going to disembark. Now, there's some good news, bad news. The good news is the Khwar are smart cookies. And they live on the other side of these mountains here. Now, a lot of people would have you climb those mountains. Not the Khwar. They have an underground tunnel system that goes straight through and under the mountains.

Completely shielded from the weather, completely illuminated. Wonderful. Beautiful. The drawback is you have to walk to get to them, which is, you know, cold. So this ship would, you know, let you guys disembark. They'd, you know, they'd unload all your stuff and they're going to leave you here. So is there anything you think you'll need before they skedaddle? From the ship? Yeah. No. I mean, just like basics, I think probably like food and water. You got your food, your water. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of stuff. And then right before he like he starts to take the ladder stairs down, he'll kind of stand in front of it, kind of like Superman pose, a big breath.

All right. And then just start walking. He's got to have that pause there. I will say this is the cleanest air. Like there's it's so if you're used to living in the city, there's certain smells that you just get used to. Fecal matter. You're going to smell that in a big city, you know, and that goes for Earth and Theria. Like you just gonna, you know, ever been to San Francisco? It's also cold isn't even the word. Any part of you that's exposed, it feels like tiny razors are just cutting into you in places. Like your cheeks are going to red and it just like you're kind of pulling your cloaks over your faces and you're just trying to you're just trying to kind of deal with it.

Now you have about a day's hike to get to this tunnel system. And you know what that means? I need one of you to give me the first flat D20 roll. Of this arc of this adventure of this group. I mean, I have a lot of good practice rolls I can roll. Anyone but Ryan. Ryan want to do this. Unless you feel like you're do is not good. I feel I feel like it's Susan. Oh, okay. In home country. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like the first each one of you. Okay, I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. All right. 20! Ladies and gentlemen. We find the drum. It's a little monkey that's mechanically beating the drum.

We pick it up. We disassemble it. Done. So, guys, you solved it. This is great. There's a there's a sorcerer on the ship. They cast fly on us. Hey, people wanted us to wrap up arcs when it was natural. This is natural. You guys did it. Yeah. There you go. Nice roll, Susan. Damn good. So this is beyond the cold. This is just a pleasant hike, basically. Like, you're gonna get some of that mime shit where the wind is just so in your face that you're kind of like burrowing in and you gotta, you know, but that only kicks up really badly here and there. And you are going to march all day and you'll find a couple of really nice spots.

Like, maybe this is something that Jelena just knew about from her walking, you know, to where the ship was going to pick her up. Or maybe this is just good luck. Maybe, you know, some downed trees, some, you know, you know, non-exposed cave stuff like that, you know, completely deserted, you know. This is pretty nice. And you are going to walk for a full day. Now, the problem is you're not too far from this cave system, but it's nighttime. And you have managed to actually catch some wild game. So you're eating meat tonight. Like, you're actually eating a hot meal.

There's this beautiful enclosure. Basically, you're surrounded three quarters of the way all the way around by these really high stone walls. So it's pretty much blocked off from the elements. It's kind of got this overhang, so you're not going to wake up covered in snow. It's basically, I wouldn't say warm, but it's dry. And you get a nice campfire going. Ian, what did you find to eat? What animal? Well, if we're in the Arctic, it's probably something small. So it's probably like a snow fox or a snow hare or something like that. Like, on a nat 20, we were able to like snare a creature like that.

Yeah, we get like a snow hare or something like that. If those exist on this land. Something like that. Yeah, because it's probably, it's not a feast, but it's one of those things where that's probably the best you can expect. Unless you guys were to go out and hunt something huge and risk your lives. This is something that isn't going to hurt you. And it's like, "Oh wow, while we were taking a break, look what I caught!" Yeah, and we didn't have to dig in the snow to get grass to eat. Oh god, it's rough. I offer tea to everyone too. I make tea and offer tea to everyone.

Is it a specific type of tea? Well, I ask. Of course Corvus asks everyone what kind of tea they would like. What kind of... I have all kinds, you know, I've got a few. I'll have to make them separately, but you know, but I can... that's fine. There's plenty of snow. Well, what's your favorite? Me? My favorite? Okay. Well, I really... If you could pick just one, within two words or less. See, that's... okay. It's nighttime, so we don't want anything to give us pep. So maybe something herbal, like a rose hip or something. That's nice. That sounds great. Okay, okay.

He's like swelling with a little bit of confidence with this like positive encouragement. He's like, "All right, yeah, okay. Rose hip okay with everyone? Is everyone fine?" That sounds fantastic. That sounds delightful. Thank you. So he makes a pot of rose hip tea. And he's got a little jar of honey. Aww. And he passes it around. We gotta protect Corvus from everything. He has the honey. Yeah, we have to protect his honey. I feel like either the world is gonna harden him or he'll die right away. I don't know which is gonna happen. I'm intrigued. Yeah, who knows?

Maybe I'll turn to stone. I mean, it'll probably freeze. Let's be honest. I'll be fine. So you guys have quite a decent fire going. And though you all have to kind of huddle around it a bit, because you know, it's really cold. It's enough for you guys to be able to get some sleep and really just kind of rest and recharge here. The next day, we're going to jump to, let's say, the 17th of Ringway. As we all take notes. You guys are going to pack up camp. And I imagine you're all very stiff from one, you're probably sleeping on stone encampments of this place, or the ground itself is just so hardened.

You have bed rolls, but it's like a thin piece of cloth. It's not great. So you're gonna wake up and just like, "Oh my god. It's in your shoulder. You can really feel it." And as you guys pack everything up and you get ready to hit the road, you're gonna hear a sound. And it sounds like... at first it just sounds like the wind's blowing around some snow drifts or something like that, because it's kind of powdery right now. But you're gonna hear this... And the third time you hear it, it's like, "Wait. Okay. Hold on. What is that? That's not like something blowing snow around." Can I get a perception check from everybody, please?

Find my abilities and my skills. Fella, come in clutch. You're doing something. Wow. Jesus. Wow. Okay. I would say... All of you but Fella. No offense. None taken. Wisdom was my dumpster head. As you guys are packing up, you're gonna kind of look and remember how I said everything's kind of elevated and there's these rocky walls? Well, it slopes down to these gentle snowy drifts. It's really packed up snow. And you're gonna see... it looks like the snow's moving. And you're gonna keep... your eyes need to adjust because it's so goddamn bright out. It's just white everywhere.

White. And then slowly... I think you're looking in different directions as you're packing up. You start looking around. It's like, "What is that sound?" You're gonna kind of see spots where it's like, "Oh, there's this little spot." And there's two more spots. That's a nose. Oh, those are eyes. Okay. That's a bear. Now, it's not just a bear. It's three bears. These... Lisa's ecstatic. Polar bears are my favorite. So these things... there's one that's quite... it's a good six, seven feet above you. And then the other two are kind of circling around to where the snowbanks kind of drift to the level ground.

And they're kind of... it's slowly, but they're kind of closing in on you. I don't know if they're... they're banking on you not seeing them? If they think they're invisible? Or... Well, we got a nature check. What's the nature check for? I was... so... Jegman spent almost all of his life being a guard. And so I think he would kind of know, like, as things were coming up, like, if you take a thing of fire and make a lot of noise and wave it around type of thing. But not with that nature check. I think he'd just kind of be like, "Oh, it's a thing." It's a thing.

It's a big thing. Yeah, it's a big thing. He pointed out to everybody. "Hey guys, big thing!" Yeah. But I don't think he wouldn't... he wouldn't know what to do, though. What would everyone's reaction be to this? Because, okay, Vella didn't see this. So I imagine, like, maybe everyone else is like, like, "Oh shit." Like, standing still, not knowing if it's like, "Do they have T-Rex vision? What is this?" So, Vella's probably just continuing to pack shit up. She is. She's probably... she was probably like, I don't know, trying to like shove fur back up into the hood or whatever.

She's like, "Nah." Not being quiet. So, Yegman would start to like make his way over there. Like, trying to go slow. Like, obviously, like cartoonishly slow tiptoe type of thing. And I feel like the bears are too, where it's just like, "Eh?" "Eh?" Like, they're creeping in. You know, like, okay, when your house cat thinks it's invisible, and it's like, it's slowly trying to get to something? Mine steals meatballs. I don't know if that's a common house cat thing? Yes. Okay. Meatballs. We once had a cat at my parents' house who hooked an entire pork chop off my sister's plate and ran away with it.

Oh my god. The greatest thing. We were eating sushi, and this is when Elle was away. So it's like, "Hey, let's get sushi and watch a terrible movie or something like that." We got our little sushi trays sitting there on the coffee table, and Loki is staring on the opposite side of the coffee table, and he just goes, "Eh." "Eh?" And drags the entire tray back, but like so slowly, it's like, "Pay no attention." "Come on, Loki, you got this." Like, it was like defusing a bomb. I was impressed. I was like, "You gotta give him sushi now." The boy earned it.

I'm not even mad. I'm just... No. So bears. Corvus is doing that thing where he's just talking really low and frozen in place, and he's like, "Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear." To just anyone that's around. So these bears look like they're, you know, aggressive, or are they just sort of cat checking us out, or...? Here's the thing about bears. A lot of times, bears don't look aggressive until they look aggressive. But the problem is, when you're dealing with a bear that could run 30 miles an hour at top speed and climb trees and shit, it doesn't need to look aggressive for long.

The things are massive. They're like big furry tanks, right? Big swipe could take your whole goddamn head off. So the fact that one of them is kind of elevated and two of them are scoping, they're either checking you out for food or think you are food. They're being raptors right now. Yes. Clever girls, all of them. Gaius will go up behind Corvus and sort of gently grab him to pull him back. And he'll say, you know, social boundary, he'll just say, "Get your wits, watch your bits," and he'll start pulling him back away from the bears. Seeing that he looks a little panicked from this whole thing, so he wants to...

Yeah, yeah, for sure. So are you backing up against the wall? Well, just sort of giving Corvus the idea that we're with you, it's okay, just let's... Just trying to settle him down. Yeah, and Corvus, he gets quiet. He's still really rigid, but he gives to your touch, basically. So you guys are kind of like, you're standing here feeling it out, right? You're just kind of like, "Okay, let's see what they do," type of thing? Because if so, I want to play a little game. We've never done this on the show before. These guys are scoping you out, and they're seeing if there's maybe a weakness.

It's like, look, we could rummage through their packs, we could get their stuff, we could eat them if worse comes to worse, but pickings are slim, so it's wintertime. Now, I want all of you to make a charisma saving throw. Oh no. And as long as it isn't an eight or below. Oh no. This is not gonna be... Oh no! Two. Okay, well... Well, that was fun. Well, okay. They see the wooden legs and they know it's a target. That guy's got tree legs, let's get him! Did you die on a stick? Alright, well they're going to sense weakness, and they're going to attack. Do you still have the kilt on?

Maybe that's it. I mean, it's a guy being all brave, worried about it, it's fine. I mean, maybe they're ageist, and they're like, that guy's not going to put up too much of a fight. Probably see the legs as two toys, so... It's stringy meat, but... Yeah. Alright, let's get you guys a Mac. Do we have to kill polar bears? I mean, that's up to you. Or die. So my choice is or death. Yes. Jesus, god. Or animal handling, I guess. We have a whole polar bear exhibit here at our zoo, and they are adorable. They are adorable! Yegman was making his way over to the fella, so...

Thank you. Is somebody going to tell her? Because she's probably turned around. Yeah, because he was trying to sneak through the snow of progressing forward to go to you. Okay. I'm just going to put the blood trail on the map. Is Vella, does Vella wear any shoes either? I'm obsessed with shoes, but... I feel like she probably is wearing some like, just like, really light boots. Because her being stealthy is important. She was like, fine. So like when a dog wears booties and they walk around all awkwardly? And I'm looking at the picture of the choir, and they have like wrappings, but their toes are exposed.

Yeah, they've got them toes out. Yeah. Do they have toe beans? They have two. Toe beans! Toe pick! So yeah, I'm going to have the enhanced defense on my shield rather than the armor. I mean, Yegman would have been close to just rubbing it on his body if he could have. These are beagle bears. I love his embrace of life. Well, it's just everything. Alright guys, do me a favor. Roll initiative! This isn't going to go good. Oh, my initiative's not good. Yep! Oh my god! I just don't have the plate. Well, okay, here's the thing. If you rolled ones and twos... I'm sorry, ignore that one.

Ignore the one. I think that I just got applied from this fight, aren't I? I rolled twice on accident. Ignore the one. Okay, well it counted the last one you rolled, so... Oh, never mind. I'll go with that. No, no, no, no, no. I'll change it, because that's the... Hold on, where are you? What happened? Oh, you did! Okay, so let's take the 11, not the fucking 3. I mean, it's all on brand for me. Can't roll initiative. Alright guys, let's fight some bears. -Zella! -Mm-hmm? You are up. Okay. I'm like, "Oh wow, what's she gonna do?" To be honest, I almost wanted her...

Okay, so she'll probably actually kind of shift up here next to Gegman. And she'll probably take one of her daggers right off the get-go and just throw it here at Polar Bear #1. And attempt to, you know, hit him. -That adds up? -Yeah! Because they haven't moved yet, if I get advantage on the attack or not, or if that's an upper level rogue ability... -What type of rogue are you? -I don't think I've picked one yet, because I think that comes at like level 3. Okay, so never mind on that then. It'll just be a ranged attack. Okay. Oh wow. Oh wow, that hit! -Jesus, that'll hit though!

-Thank god for that +1, I think! Okay, and then also +1 to damage, correct? Yes. So she's gonna throw her dagger at Polar Bear #1 and do... -Oh boy! -Seven! And then it'll recoil back into her hands and she'll kind of get like a readied stance, kind of crouch down slightly. Well, I think that requires a rebuttal. So Polar Bear #1 is gonna mosey on up here... -And target them! -I mean, Turnabout's fair play, but I don't like it, so... Oh! Oh god, okay. Oof, bears. So it gets a multi-attack. It's gonna swing twice with its claws and then bite. -Rude. -Are we gonna die?

I don't think so. You guys are probably fine, but Jesus, bears, man, you know? Boom! That's gonna miss, that's a 12. That's gonna hit, that's a 19. And 12 damage! And a bite! That's gonna miss! So there you go, see? Not bad. 12 damage. I only have 19! -Jedmon! -So he's gonna see that and go, "Oh! Ouch!" And then move forward. And he's gonna swing. -Oh, shit. Yeah. -You get a +2. Oh, sweet! Alright, so +2. And... Ha! Ooh, 23 you hit, don't forget the target. Oh, yeah. And then... damage. -9 damage. -Then... I don't have multi-attack or anything. No. Um, is Leon hands? Is that bonus?

No, that's an action. Alright, yep, that's about it then. -Can you guys see the health bars of the polar bears? -No. -No. -Mm-mm. Okay, good. Okay. Yeah, we can see the health bars of our team, but that's it. Good. 'Cause I can see them and I didn't know if that was something transparent. Okay, good. Corvus! Uh... Damn it. Um, Corvus is... He's gonna look on the inside of his shield and squint and start reading and say, "Raven Queen, draw life from them, bring them into the realm of your death everlasting." And then a bunch of, like, green spectral feathers are gonna come out and start swirling around these polar bears.

You know the sort of, like, Peter Jackson, like, screeny kind of stuff? -Oh, yeah. -Yeah, so like that, but feathers and... I'm gonna try and cast Bane on these holy bears. -Like Oathbreaker feathers? -Uh, like raven feathers. No, no, no, I mean like the Oathbreaker affects the ghostly warriors from Return of the King? -Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Okay. -So it's got that, like, ethereal kind of green look. -Got it. Um... Also, if you were my cleric and you said the shit you said about death's embrace, I would not feel more comfortable. Well, it's too late to go back.

-Draw them into death's embrace? -It's okay, you have the shovel. We're all good. It's fine. -All right, that should be a save for all of them. -Boom, boom, boom! They're all gonna fail! Okay, so... -There, that should... I think that should... -They've been bamed. Been bamed. Excellent. Okay. And then he's gonna just get behind here, he's gonna say to Gaius, "Your turn." And then he also has a bonus action, going to read something else off of his shield and mumble, "Give us your protection, Raven Queen. Grant us more life in the life that we have." And cast Healing Word on Vella.

Yes. And just target you and Ahyl? There we go. -Five hit points. -Thank you. Puts you almost back to the green. Oh, wait. Hang on. Nope, hang on. Okay, yes, no. Just making sure I could do that. Just making sure that was legal. Okay, it's all good. Sorry. -Bree, fix all that. -I'm so sorry, Bree. -You're fine. -It's gonna be like that for the next couple sessions, so... So good, man. Polar bear number two is gonna move right here, just kinda snuggle on up. I don't like that. Yeah, well, you're about to not like it more, I think. I don't know. Wait, did Yegman get an opportunity attack?

No, 'cause he's still in. He didn't go through. He's threatened. He doesn't like the little potato ball of a target that Yegman is. He's not in it for the appetizers. So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna swing once at Vella, and swing at Yegman and try to bite Yegman. So let's do it. But of course, we're doing it with advantage. Let's do it with Bane. So... who knows? Claws! Jesus. Okay, sixteen will hit Vella. Thirteen damage will knock Vella out! No, no, no, no. Let's target Yegman. And... claw? Uh, Jesus, that'll hit. Wow, sixteen negative will hit. Hacks.

Minimum damage! Seven. And... bite! Jesus, that's a crit! Okay! Gusher! The target suffers the damage rolled for this attack/spell each round until healed. Which would be... fifteen damage. Oh. Whew. Uh... Yolma. I don't like this. You can use your Yegman to scream out in pain. Well, I can't heal. But I will take a step back. I can. There's another bear yet, though. Can I take a step back? Is that allowed? You get an opportunity attack. I thought you could step away five feet. You can shift around them any way you want, but if you break that, like... Or you get out of there...

If you leave their threatened area, yeah. Okay, so how does making a throw attack work on them? Disadvantage. You get disadvantage because they're right up in your face. Being a bear. I don't have any in-the-face attacks. Oh no. Yeah... I will say, if you were to shift around next to Gaius, you'd get advantage because of Yegman. I have a spell. I just want to see if it says... If it's a range attack. Ah. No, it's just you hurl a bubble of acid within range. If you choose two, they must be five feet of each other. Target must succeed. Decks are saving throw. I think that's still...

I think that's a range attack. There's one action. It did say ranged. Does it say ranged? It says range area. But it doesn't say make a range attack. It just says saving throw. You may be good at that point, then. I'm not in to make an action. Not necessarily you. Okay. How dexterous could a bear be? I know, right? Okay. So, Yalna takes out a little vial and then unquirks the lid and pulls it out. And then what looks like is in there is a stick with a circle at the end. And there seems to be a film of the liquid that was in the bottle. And then she blows through it and this bubble comes out.

Cool. And it goes straight for the bear. Right on his little nose. Oh no. Poor bear. Well... That's a three, so that's a failure. They're not super dexterous, it turns out. So this bubble explodes and then sizzles and... Oh god. 'Cause it's acid. Aw, but I only did one damage. (Laughter) So it's gonna go like... Like it's not a big fan of that. It's like, wow, that's bullshit. Well it's just a bubble. Anything else? Uh, no. Oh wait, yes. Bonus action. Expeditions Retreat. On myself. Smart. But I can't do anything. I just cast it on myself for now. Oh, okay. Polar bear number three!

Is gonna move right here. And target Gaius. Oh god. Cross your fingers. That'll hit. Nine damage. Is there gonna be a TPK on the first episode? Oh my god, please no. Twenty-one, that'll hit. Eleven damage. Oh my god. Why couldn't we have gotten cockatrices? Fight? Oh come on! Bye bye. Minimum damage! Oh that still knocks you out. Oh my god. Well there goes my healing. That'll play. Can I tell you, these bears are pack animals and if one falls they'll probably retreat. I'm just throwing that out there. Why? They're polar bears. I, look. Oh my god. Can I get a death saving throw please?

Yeah. For me? Yeah. Uh, that's just a little dice under death save. Yeah. Nope. That is a nine. One failure. Alright, we are re-rolling initiative. And characters. And... Polar bear number one. Oh god. Polar bear number one is gonna see his buddy get bubbled. And is not gonna care for that. So, go ahead with an attack of opportunity. This polar bear is going to. Oh geez. 23 will hit. Oh god. Invisible damage! Guys, you gotta work with me here. I'm trying, okay? You saw my rolls before. You've been rolling ones and shit. I know. I'm gonna get blamed for this. You don't understand.

The surveys. The surveys! Okay, well. Let's swing at Yolna twice and then try to fight young Corvus. Eh. Oh, Jesus. 13 to hit. Yeah, I have an eight. Maximum damage. 17. I have two hit points left. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yep. 11 will hit. Okay. But that doesn't kill you outright. It's close. I know. Corvus. Nine will miss. Oh. Corvus, you're up. What the hell? I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Okay, Corvus is gonna see all of the, all of his squad just getting mauled by bears around him. And he is in full-on panic mode. And he sees, he sees Yolna get swiped and then this bear like chomps at him.

He is going to, I feel like he'd like, like it just hits his shield. So he is going to swing out his shovel and pull it out as a weapon. And start reading from his shield really frenetically. Oh god, what's he gonna say? He's gonna say, "Shadow, beak and blood, tear, rip and talon, Raven Queen, bring this wound and open it." And then he's going to like try and thump this thing on the head with his shovel and cast inflict wounds. Alright, let's see if I can actually do this. Come on baby. He's the one we need, Ian. I think it's a melee spell attack to inflict wounds so that's what I'm gonna try and do.

Yes. Oh no! Oh my god, Ian. It would be tonight. That's a crit one. That doesn't roll on the table. There were only meant to be three groups. Well, okay. So as a bonus action, he's gonna try and read the heal spell again real, real fast. And try and cast heal on... I don't know if I should cast it on Gaius or if I should cast it on Yeggman. I'm gonna cast it on Yeggman. High rolls, man. High rolls, please. Come on healing word. One again! Every roll is a one! I mean, five is better than nothing. Five health! God dammit! Maybe my 20 AC will do something here. They're doing 15 average damage!

I know. I know, I know you know. Does that... what was it, gushing effect? Yes, it does! Oh, perfect. Oh, that's good. That was gonna do 15 damage. Oh, yeah. Alright. Fucking polar bears. You just hear Corvus, like he misses with this shovel and he's screaming. Oh god, okay. Well, there's no advantage anymore, so that's good. And they have Bane. So the odds should be against them. And yet... Will it be against them three times? Yeah, I don't know. Here we go. I also... Miss. You also have what? I think we have, from the enhanced too, I don't know if it's factoring that in, the plus one.

Yeah, I put it into mine. Yeah. It's 20 AC. Yeah, I added it to mine to make it from a 19 to a 20. Oh, got it, okay. Okay. Two misses. And bite. Crit one! Oh. Rolls on the table! Oh my god. Breaks his neck and dies. A forceful pop in your shoulder is heard as your arm goes limp. Okay. That bear can only attack once now, instead of three times. Okay. The turning of the tide, guys. Could this be it? Velma, can I get a death saving throw, please? Yes. Sorry, I was laughing at Velma. Velma! It's okay, I was like, "Jinkies!" Jinkies, can I get a save? You gotta change your name now.

I do. But then it... Okay. But then my anagram won't work. No, if you were me, I'm an idiot. Ooh, let's take the first one, which is a success, and not the crit one. Oh my god. The fuck is with you guys and crit ones? Okay, good. Alright. Success! Yackmin! Okay, so... Kill something. Would I be able to stand over Velma's unconscious body? No. If you get there to get the weakest polar bear, you know what you gotta do. Now, the good news is, that polar bear can only swing once. So worst case scenario... Don't give me worst case scenario. There's a lot of worst case scenarios.

No, you know. Okay, you're doing great, champ. You're doing fine. So he's gonna go over to the side, and he's gonna try to kinda line up. One second. I have to swing at you. I'm so sorry. Claw? Miss! Perfect. Easy. Easy peasy. Okay, you have advantage against the weakest polar bear. And I'm also going to do a thing where he's gonna close his eyes, mumble something, and his bladed pecax is gonna start to glow. So I need to get... 2d8. Okay, so 9. So if I hit, there'll be an extra 9 damage. So from that, as his bladed war pick starts to glow, he's going to start to swing at this thing.

So mark advantage. Hi-yah! Okay, good. So the 17, so we gotta add the 9 for damage. And... 20 damage. 20 will kill the polar bear. Now, here's what we're gonna do. Originally, I would have said this polar bear would just... these guys would ditch at the first sign of adversity. But they've downed three of you! They're kinda looking at their odds and going, "Ahh, ahh." So here's what I want you to do, Ryan. I want you to roll a flat d20, and as long as it's not a 5 or under, they're gonna ditch. They're just, it's not worth the hassle. This food is not worth it.

Jason, let me remind you that when I first joined the table, I made a few test rolls. You did. And all the rest of the rolls you've rolled. Yeah, and I mean, just out of the initial rolls, it was like 7, 4, 6, 8, 10... I will admit, the data we have so far from this group isn't stellar. But, I think you're due. Okay, alright. I'm gonna ride that optimism, Jason, and... Ha! Right. No, no! This is not my fault. This is not my fault! There's no court in the world which would convict me, right? Like... I am not your lawyer. Susan, you're a lawyer! Help me out! I won't represent you.

It's an unwinnable case, Jason. I only take winners. Oh my god. Oh, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Oh, this is probably gonna be a normal action... Potions. That's actions. Okay. Actions. Alright, that's all I got. You guys got a bomb. I got a big giant corpse of a bear in between me and Corvus. Corvus probably can't even really see Yegman because he's so small. He just sees the bear drop and screaming from the other side. Well, alright. Polar Bear number 3 is... It's gonna be a confidence booster, though. You're seeing a bear go down.

Yeah! It's like, "Holy shit! I killed a bear!" "That thing's way bigger than me!" Uhhhh... Okay. Polar Bear number 3 is gonna move up to Corvus. Okay. I've got that plus one AC. I don't know how to add it, though. Oh, let's jump in. Hold up. Hold up, hold up. You have 19 AC. So this bear... Statistically speaking... Come on. With Bane, probably should not hit you, maybe. Shield up. Shovel up. Oh no! Money Wolf hits. Oh my god! What? He does almost max damage! 16 will down Corvin and the Bane expires. Gaius, can I get a death saving throw, please? I'm getting a lot of hate mail from this.

Just so you know that. Yeah, I know. I already know. I already know. Hey! That is a success, Yelma! Can I get a death saving throw, please? Yeah. That is not a success. Ugh. That was my first one, though. Vella! That was your first one. Vella, can I please get a death saving throw? Wow, all of you go first, then the bears. Can we acknowledge that? We all get to it. That's great! Come on. Nat 20. Boop. Almost! So rich! 19! And I only rolled it once, because I learned. So that's... That's, uh, that's what, two? Yeah, that's two successes for Vella. Two successes? Gaius, can I please get a death saving throw?

Again already? Uh, oh, wait, wait, wait, yes. Uh, yeah, because we re-rolled initiative. And it's all you guys first, huh? What a great break of luck! Yeah, when everybody's down. Oh! 19! Where were these rolls? I don't fucking know! Corvus, can I get a death saving throw? Of course. I never got to roll before this. Wait a second, don't you have something as a grave domain, cleric? Not for... Not dying. Uh, I thought you had something? Hold on, hold on. He digs his own grave, that's... Does he get a level 3, though? Is that when you choose the domain? No, he has a domain.

I have a domain, yeah. Yeah, clerics at level 1 get a domain. Grave, yeah. I don't, I don't think I have anything. I can turn undead and I can curse them, but... I have to be conscious to do any of that. That's, that's fair. I thought you had something. I can command the respect of those who share my faith. That'll work. Alright, let me give you a death saving throw. Ugh, that's a 4. Yegman. Okay. You're the only conscious member of the party left. So... Jason. The... I'm just trying to figure, I'm trying to pull something out of my ass here, Jason. So I'm looking around at the lovely map that you have for us.

Yes? And... To the side of me, with the way that we're looking at it, would be the right, so kind of behind Yegman. There is a big, I'm guessing like some sort of like ice rock or something that's there that kind of obstructs space. Yes. With Yegman, with his guard experience and battle experience, would he be able to, or would he think... That by going in that little cove, could it limit the amount of bears that can get access to him? So one at a time. So, by going here, or here, could only one at a time get to him? Well, yes. Okay. However... Okay. They're not in a position where they need to chase you. 'Cause there's four tender morsels that aren't moving.

But if I jump in, I'm dead. One hit. One successful hit. Well! Do you have a ranged attack? So that's, okay, so that's what I was thinking. Ranged attack or heal? Ranged attack or heal? Okay, so he's gonna jump... He also has Divine Smite. He's gonna jump back. Yeah, but Divine Smite is melee, I believe. Yeah, melee weapon attack. He's gonna look up and touch his amulet of Melora and cast Shield of Faith. So a little shimmer, a green shimmer is going to go across his body. Okay, and then from there he's gonna pull out one of the javelins to polar bear two and just try to chuck it.

Alright, let's do it. What happened there? I think you had both of them targeted. Oh, I was targeting 'cause I was still targeting myself. I hit myself. Well, that'll hit the polar bear. That's the only thing that hasn't happened in this fight yet. Okay, so damage coming out from there and then... Nine damage to the polar bear. But then with that he's gonna let out a big scream as he chucks his javelin over trying to get their attention. So you're presenting yourself as a threat? Yes. A strategic threat that's backed away into a corner. So you're trying to do some 300 shit?

I guess. I'm trying to add something. I don't know what I'm doing, okay? He just sees that there's a way that only one bear can get to him at a time. Jell-a, can I get a death saving throw please? Sure thing. Roll higher! Yay! That's a success! ♫ Polar bear number two just got hit with a goddamn thing. So he's gonna say, "Hey you fuck!" He's gonna walk over here. Hey! ♫ Right there. But I think... hold on a second. Yep, that'll be his action then. 'Cause you're in that little corner. So polar bear number three is in a spot 'cause he can't... like... here we go.

One, two, three, four, five, six... you know what? Polar bear number three is going to try to get to the other side, but I don't think that's gonna work. But they're both basically going to reach in and try to swipe at you. Okay. Let's reroll initiative, guys, for round number three. God, we're only on round three. Please let me go first. Please let me... Polar bear number two! Fuck! Are you the last? Isn't number two the only one that has one arm, though? He can only make one attack? Yes! It is! Oh, nice. So... yay? I did that on purpose. Good. That was strategic.

I like it. It was the strategery. He rolled a two. That's a nine. That's a miss. Yeah. Vella! Oh shit. Now, okay. Now all we gotta do is not have someone bleed out. Yeah. Okay. Vella, give me a death saving throw. You're doing great. Two successes. You just jinxed me. No I didn't! I'm wishing you luck! Thank you. I really want this nat 20 so that I can pop up with one and be useful! In theory, you don't pop up with one. You get a whole hit die. Oh, hell yeah. It's not gonna happen, but that's what I want. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out there. Good. That was my third success, but it was another almost crit.

I feel like I should get... not dying. So if you get a turkey of almost crits, does that equal one natural 20? Is that... I don't know. I can't cheat, because then it'll look like I'm just easing off the pedal. I don't want to keep accelerating though. Just know that. Corvus! Corvus! Corvus. Please roll high. Here we go. Oh! Nat 20! With a max hit die. Yes. Do me a favor. Give me a d8. Do you want me to roll a hit die or... Just a flat d8. Well, you rolled a one, so you get one hit point. He's got spells. He's got spells! Bears are not here. Dude, you're up. Don't draw attention to yourself.

Yeah, just keep laying on the ground. You just panic. There's a cave. Run in the cave, something. Wouldn't it be great if you just said "bye"? I didn't sign up for this shit. Bye. So, both bears aren't paying attention to you. You have one hit point, and all your friends around you... ...are freezing to death and bleeding out. Except for Vella. Vella's looking okay. Friends is a strong word. No, just kidding. So where are we at with death saving throws at the point with Ulna and Gaius? That would be... that would be metagaming. Oh, okay. I mean, I can't do anything about it.

I was just curious. It's okay to know that. I don't think that's bad to know with the death saves. How bad are those two looking? You know what? We're not gonna do this ever again, but tonight... ...because you've had such a bad run, Gaius has one failure, two successes. Vella has one and one. Vella is fine. Yelna has one and one, yeah. Vella is fine and, you know, Yegman is over there. Not like death, but they're starting to look bad. He's still there. Is it still... do I still have an action? Oh, my God! Fucking really? Yes! You wrote a crit 20, baby! In theory, that means you get your whole action and a hit die.

You're up. Your eyes snap open. The fucking blistering cold is hitting you. You're gonna look over and just kind of blurrily see two bears swiping at your last remaining standing friend in the corner. What music is playing right now? Well, I think there's no music. I think it's like all sound, right? Like, it's like all the sound drops out and you just hear the cold wind. And I think you see just like one of those green ethereal feathers like "woo woo" floating down and it like lands and then dissipates into mist on the Corvus's cheek and he wakes up and he like looks around and at first he doesn't move and yeah, like his vision comes back and he's like seeing these bears hunting Yegman and the same death all around him.

Okay, I want to try something a little bit different. So let me know if I can do this and let me know what I need to do. He sees that the bears have left the bodies and they're still fighting. So he's gonna, he's gonna, first he's gonna panic and he's gonna count to ten. And then when that's done... That'll be your turn. Alright! And then he's gonna lay back down and take the sweet embrace of death. He's gonna reach into his bag real, real slowly and he's gonna take out all the rations, just all the rations, every single ration that he has. The jerky, the food or whatever and he's gonna stand up and then he's just gonna start screaming like "Hey!

Hey! Hey! Go over there! Over there!" And trying to catch the bear's attention and if he's able to get it, he's gonna just chuck the food away from the bodies, like as far away as he can. And just sort of like stand there like brandishing his shield and brandishing his shovel and just like smacking it on the shovel and trying to make as much noise as he possibly can. And you're sure? I was gonna try and get them to try and eat the gals. No, I understand. So, there's two things here. What you're essentially trying to do and, Jesus, I'm sure Kelsey could educate us, but, so these bears are in attack mode.

But they seem to be motivated by food. So what you want to do is get their attention enough so that then they focus on the food that you're throwing in a different direction, but not get their attention so much that they go "Hey, that guy's almost dead! I thought we killed that one! Let's go say hello!" Well, tell me this. If you're a bear and you thought you killed something and then it got back up, would you really want to go and try and eat it again? I mean, that's gotta happen in the animal kingdom, right? They tower over you. It's not like they're worried about, you know.

So, if you want to do that, here's what I'll have you do. I'd have you roll a persuasion check. Okay. If you hit a certain threshold, then you'll get their attention, they'll see the food you throw, they're gonna chase after that food and give you guys a wide berth. If you roll too high, they're gonna focus solely on you. Okay. The look on Susan's face is interesting. I can't tell if that was just disgust or... I'm not sure. Susan, help me out. Well, that look was thinking, but I don't know if I wanted to bring it up at all. This is the curse of having camera on.

I don't know if you would like... Ian, if you would prefer animal handling, if you want to argue for that, just throw that out there. I don't know which one's better for you. I mean, I think there's a case to be made for animal handling. We could do that too. Just trying to get the better roll for you. That's a good friend. That's looking out for young Corvus. Yeah, I'll try and do animal handling. So, here's the thing. If you roll a 10 or higher, you're gonna get these bears' attention and they're going to chase after that food. If you roll an 18 or higher, though, they're gonna focus in on Corvus and come say hello.

Does that sound fair to you? Sure. It sounds like our only option. Again, don't you have healing spells? I'm all out of spell slots. Oh, never mind. Level 2, we don't get much. Okay. Give me an animal handling check. Alright, here we go. 13! Yes! A sweet slot. So, you've got this jerky, you've got stuff in your pouch, you've got, you know, you have a decent amount you guys just supplied at the ship. And you're just going to whip this 60 feet in some direction away from the party, obviously. And these bears are going to notice it. Oh yeah, that'll take them clean off the map.

They're going to notice it and chase it down, giving you guys precious time to slink back into a crevice here with Yeggman where they can't get to you. That will take you out of combat. Troy. Jesus Christ, guys. Well, so, the first thing that Yeggman would do is go over... So gobbly. Like, I'm pretty much just stumbling, trying to catch his breath, probably just dragging his war pick in the snow behind him. Get over to Corvus. You did good, kid. You did good. I am really worried about the lack of shoes that this party has. Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the Yeggman.

Next time we pick up, we're going to get to the fucking tunnel system and get you to a city, because oh my god. I mean, the good thing is, at least, even though Corvus is out of spell slots, I still have Lay on Hands, so I can just be like, one heal, one heal, one heal, and at least get everybody awake. We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors. Please don't go anywhere. Today we're going to play ten minutes of our behind-the-scenes from episode three of arc four. If you like what you hear, please swing on by to our Patreon at patreon.com/dandr.

That's where you can find tons of extra content, hours and hours worth, every single month, and we're always looking for your suggestions on new stuff to put out. Hey, gals. Hey. How you doing? Good. I'm excited. How are you doing? I'm doing good. Okay. Tell the truth, Jason. Okay, I'm going to tell you what the doctor told me. As far as you look on the outside, you look good. That's the reason we went to the doctor, was to look at the inside, though. No. That's what we were trying to figure out. If there's blood coming out of something, usually the outside problem, that's what's going on there.

See, here's the thing. The doctor told me- It was around the curve. I know that. I couldn't see where the source was. It was around the curve of the ear. Well, the doctor told me- Here's how the questions worked. It's like, "Okay, have you had any history of this?" It's like, "No." "No." That's why it's concerning. What insurance do you have? It's like, "Oh, none." It's like, "Mmm." "Well, goodbye." And that was it. $1,500, then goodbye. And then that was it. The thing that hurt the most when you came home, and there was a lot that hurt that night, but the thing you said where you were like, "I spent more time with the people collecting my information for payment than I spent with any medical professional." Absolutely. 100%.

Yeah. No, 110%. At least double the time. America. I saw someone posted a comment on the Facebook about the- Rob. -comment thing. So, yeah. So, hopefully that'll handle all of it. Yeah. And I always forget that's part of Rob's job. Yeah. I mean- That's the Rob job. There's things I could do to, like, fake what I make on paper, and maybe that'll help, but like, I'm comfortable lying. Not really fake. It's literally separating you from the company so that all the company's profits don't go under the name Jason Massey. But yeah, fake. Here's the thing though, because that's how it started.

It's very difficult to separate that. It's like divorcing myself from- Hey, my thing is, let's not record you saying that you're about to lie to the government when you're not- I'm about to lie to the government. To get medical healthcare so that I can get my ear that was bleeding looked at. Let's just make that a video format. Go fuck yourself, US government, for making me do that to you. If they're patrons, that's cool. Like, that's- The Rob who responded to Jason's thing just so you can make this connection is the Roscoe from the thing. Roscoe. Yeah.

Cool. So, that's the same person. Mm-hmm. I'm excited. It'll be fine. I'm mostly just excited for the game, because this is number two of the new art, and I'm really excited. How did the first one go? Dude, it was hilarious. It was exactly the kind of fresh start you want, where everyone just picked up these characters like they've been playing them for months. It was really good. Oh, boy. That's- That's real high is what you're telling me. That makes me feel really not pressured at all. I mean, here's the thing. If it was something I thought you guys couldn't do, we wouldn't have put you there.

Like, you're gonna do great. I'm nervous about this or anything. You're gonna do great. Oh, the new table stuff. Oh, this is so pretty. Yep, there's a couple of new things. This is amazing. There's little mechanical things that are gonna make our jobs easier, so you don't have to worry. Like, let's say you're a barbarian. We have stuff that the slap on the whole rage effect, so you don't have to manually do stuff. If you're like a weapon master or something like that, or a champion, let's say you crit it on a 19 or 20, the table will automatically recognize that.

You don't have to like- Don't have to go and code it like we did for Aster. Yeah. Something I should have done a long time ago, and I just- I just really like the borders with the black stuff. Like, those lines I think are really nice. It's crisp. I like it. Yeah. Do we have a new address we have to type in? Nope. Still the ogre thing? Yep, ogre thing. Okay, that did not get me in, so I will try again. Did you do nosy without any? Uh, yeah. It should be the last time you connected. It should exactly- everything should be totally the same. Yeah, so it is not supposed to have an E.

Right. Okay, yeah. That's what I did. Isn't it in your history? Yeah, it is, and using exactly what was in there did not connect me. Well, that's not a good- oh! Oh, wait, did my table crash? I think it might have, and I think it might have been my fault. What did you do? I was uploading the picture of Gwen, but it's huge. Oh. And I didn't realize it was huge until it didn't upload, and I was like- Yeah, I was just about to go to the same thing. That's what happened. Yeah, no, I don't know if that's why. It's probably bigger than it should be. I just saw the picture that Jamie posted.

Oh, this is so cool, and everyone's so pretty. I'm excited. I had to tag Zach because I'm like 95% sure he's not gonna be a human, and that's the reason I didn't draw him yet. I have a feeling in my bones that- You don't know assume someone's species. Like, that's just- that's a problem. "I drew you with horns." It's like, what? No. I said I'm playing someone horny. That's totally different. Oh, God, this is- yeah, like, so much of this is just gonna be, like, processing what Rob is doing with this character. It's gonna be- there's gonna be the- You're putting the pressure on, I gotta stretch a little bit.

Limber-eye. I expect big things. I mean, unless that's not what your guy's, like, you know, into. Like, it could be little things, and that's fine. I mean, 'cause we don't know what's going on down there. At least not yet. No, he's- he's totally hung. That's canon. I think we oughta roll for it. I think- Oh, what- I agree. See, I made a table, and, um... You keep- you keep your table out of my trousers. Oh, do we make- Tell me when you got the table back up. I'm trying. I need a new computer. It's up. It should be up now. It's all good. Right, I'm scaling my image down.

I am trying to figure out how to do that. Wow, you're right. That does a pretty racist thing. I can't unsee it now. Right?! Yeah... Oh, the- the- the thing on the- the goblin mask? Oh yeah. I picked it up. I thought that there was something really horrible happening in that image. Like, why are we looking at, like, racist little kids? Like, this is- Like, it's our first story. We're gonna have to deal with the racism. Right, for day one, like- No, no, no. We're gonna ease you into the racism. Like, sexual session two. That's, uh, it's a Wizards of the Coast thing.

I don't know what's going on there. But, uh, I might- I might- I might change that now that I can't unsee it. Resizing. The Mundra's up so fast, and I don't blame you. Yeah, fuck 'em. But... Alright, let me open up this table and try uploading a much smaller image of Gwen. I was about to say, if you can keep it under a gig, that'd be cool. If we can... I- I just- I- I went to the resize thing and had an option that said "best for, like, small icons and stuff" and it was only, like, like, 25 megabytes or something? Or, like, 0.25, I think? Like... 0.25 sounds better.

That was- yeah, yeah. But it was nice. I'm going to attempt to switch everything over to Unity soon. Ooh. I- I'm taking a leap. Okay, cool, that time I didn't crash the table. Yay! I am trying desperately to connect. I'm gonna restart- No, I can't roll, which is... I was on the table, and then it kicked me out, so... I'm, like, on the verge of arriving. Maybe I did break the table. No, okay, there I rolled. Sweet. Alright, everything's fine. Okay, I think everyone's trying to- It's called edging, Rob. You should know this. I think everyone's coming in the door at the same time.

It's good, it's good. Your hair's so short! I cut it, yeah. Oh, I thought it was just, like, behind you! Oh, that's so cute! I- I just did not realize. I'm- That's really cute. Thank you. I also tried to dye it red today, but, like, it went poorly, so I'm gonna do that next month when I have money. Because I used all my money trying to get it- Yeah. I used six boxes of lightener. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. That didn't do anything, so we're gonna- Sure, sure, sure, it said lightener on it. Jamie can attest to that, I sent many a video of, like, "This one says bleach, it's gonna bleach it!" and then it didn't do anything.

That sucks, man. Oh, there we go. Um. Ah. Kelsey's here. I- I just kinda popped in. Yeah, I think I need a new PC, guys. Uh, lots of things are not working as they should be. Like, okay, in everyone's bottom right hand corner of Skype, uh, the React icon. What's that doing for everybody? Um, well, the heart's beating, and if I click it, I get all hearts. Oh, this cat? Yeah. Okay, mine's spinning around like it's a slot machine. Oh, god. Whoa. Jamie, what is your- Wait, what happens when I react with it? Does it spin or does it heart? No, no, no, that's the- like, let me see if I can share my screen.

It's coming. He's so cute. Did you update Skype by any chance? I've updated everything, dude. Whoa. Oh, gosh. I don't need to see myself right now, thank you, sir. I was- honestly, I was reacting to your slot machine over there. Yeah, I was. Between that and the table crashing, the recorder crashed the other night, uh, when we were recording, so like, I think it's time to start packing that parachute with some kind of money. Maybe, you know what, kidneys are in demand. Everyone needs a kidney. I got two. Come on, let's make this work. Patrons, if you need a kidney.

It's only slightly used. It's not just any kidney, it's a creator's kidney. Right, yeah, so it's gonna flake out on you real quick, but when it does perform, it's gonna do wacky stuff. Like, it's gonna- It doesn't even process unless you subscribe to its Patreon. I don't know, it's- It's gotta, like, give a little bit of Adderall to be good. Yes, that's- oh, man, Adderall would be great. Yeah, it's wild, man, like, I'm actually, like, remembering things. It's very weird. I just got prescribed it, and, like, I'm so jealous. It's one of those things that's like, "God, I know, ah." Yeah.

I was getting my blood pressure taken, and, um, the doctor, like, two or three times was like, "Stop fidgeting." It's like, "I can't! I don't know how!" Yeah, yeah, it's- We really hope you enjoyed today's episode. We'll be back next month with all four groups, hopefully, and we'll continue their adventures. I'm really looking forward to seeing exactly where these groups are going to go. I think we are off to a fantastic start. We hope you guys enjoy it. Please let us know what you think at dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. We wanted to thank you, everyone out there, for giving us your surveys.

Obviously, we addressed that earlier in the week, but it's invaluable to us. We really want to know what you're thinking, because it helps us kind of see things from your side a bit more. That being said, we'll be back next month. Please take care of yourselves, stay healthy, and good luck in your games.