Paxton's' Folly

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They're trying to change things and we'll be catching up with them in just a moment. First, I wanted to talk to you guys about something special this week. Everything Nerdy and Anything In Between is a wonderful Facebook group we've been in contact with recently. Remember, we're trying to reach out to the community and get to know some other content creators. And this is right up our alley, honestly, so we kind of gravitated to it right away. Anyone who grew up watching Batman the Animated Series, the entire Justice League universe, if you read comic books, if you're just into nerdy stuff, I guarantee you this page has something for you.

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Give them a follow. I guarantee you, if you like this show, if you grew up with the kind of stuff that I grew up with, there's something on that page for you. With that being said, we need to hear a few words from our sponsors. We'll be right back after these messages. Please don't go anywhere. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and it is ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table. Start with Jamie. Hi, I'm Jamie. I play Bo, the Teethling Paladin. I didn't realize I was going to be first freaked out. So sorry. I can't describe to you the deer in the headlights look.

Pretty great. And Robert. Hey, I'm Rob. I'm playing Giolo Fane, the Elven... I'm trying to remember what my patron is. I'm a divine warlock, right? Character sheet, character sheet. [laughter] We are not off to a great start, guys. I'm a celestial warlock. Zach? What's up? My name is Zach and I play Paxton Warren, the Human Cleric. Alright, that's better. We're back on track. Okay, Kels. I'm Kelsey and I play Calypso Lovelace, the Half-Elf Bard. And last and certainly not least, Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna and I play Gwenavive, the Half-Halfling, Half-Teethling Bion.

Ooh. Alright. Last session, no one died. Congratulations. Fantastic. I loved Let's Keep This Going. You're on a roll. That being said, you have a big ol' city to police. And unlike town guards, you have a lot of leeway. And you guys could basically choose to go anywhere and attempt anything in efforts to clean stuff up. You did get a lead on a potential, I don't know, case? I don't know if you'd call it that. But you do have a missing person report kind of filed for Scooter by one Lil' Weiner. Uh... [laughter] It is up to you if you want to go pursue that, but trust me, there's no shortage of jobs to do in Brightport.

So here's what I was thinking. If you like, I would like a wisdom check by one of you. And depending on how high it is, I'm going to give you a bunch of stuff that you could potentially go investigate. Does that sound fair? Who wants to be the one? Who wants to be the one to give me? Just give me it. Why not? Why not? So you said a 20? Wisdom. Oh, wisdom. Give me a wisdom check. Be like a little word on the street type thing. Oh, that was almost a 20. Almost. So... oh boy. Okay. That's an 11. So you're going to get rumblings of a few things. It's all a bit vague though.

Obviously the higher the role, the more concrete evidence you have. Like, I picture Paxton as the type of dude to have informants on the street, but like in a friendly way. Like he goes to buy a drink or something and like he just chats up a clerk and just like, you know what I mean? It's like, you know, around like the Doc's area, he's really friendly with like the more downtrodden sellers, like the people that sell like the shitty type of apples, the things that people wouldn't really buy. He's like, oh, these are great wares. How much for them? Appreciate your work.

Keep it up. Like he'll do anything to keep you off the street. Do like pick and pockets. Like if you're trying, he's buying. So... Or maybe Paxton just loves shitty apples. I love that as a catchphrase, by the way. We need to put that on the t-shirt. But I'm going to say, so you're, you specialize down the docs. Let me share the map with you guys. Let's let's let's start sharing. Let's look at Brightport. Let's get a bird's eye view. He's like the guy who stops with all the kid lemonade stands, no matter how good the lemonade is. Yes. Yeah. Those little boys are working hard.

Yeah. Getting an early start. Entrepreneurial. I love him. Well, if we're focusing on the Doc's portion of of Brightport, that is right around where you guys heard heard about a lead for Scooter. There's there's basically a house nobody goes to unless they're trying to score. So that was near the Stout Adventure, which is a dwarven pub pretty much known for being filled with real hard asses, real test of strength type of dudes. It's real rough and tumble. So that would put you let's draw a little little circle that would put you right about there, somewhere in there.

Paxton is going to hear about an incoming drug shipment. And this would be taking place tomorrow night. Now, the problem is you only have a vague idea of the location of this. But it's supposed to take place. Give you another pointer here. Somewhere in this region. So you're pretty sure it's coming in by boat, but you're not 100 percent sure. But you do know it's going to end up somewhere in the the lower eastern portion of the city. There's some warehouse where they're going to take this and then cut it up and distribute it in the city. Which drug do they say with an 11?

Yeah, let's let you know. So this is supposed to be Oranash, which there is a problem with in the city. It's it's essentially fantasy morphine, let's call it. It's a valuable drug and it it's potentially deadly. So not great having it all over the streets. Question, am I alone on the docks or did are we on like a patrol type thing? I was just going to say, I feel like the whole party coming to your informants with you is not the kind of thing that like retains. This might be like, oh, you're you're coming to work in the morning and you just stop by this this vendor every day.

You just it's like, oh, he has some things like that. Some lucky information for me I got. Right. Like maybe this person just knows it's like, hey, man, you're trying to clean things up. You're you're doing you're doing the gods's work. Good job. Like, get out there. All right. Then Paxton is going to shake this apple seller's hand by one more apple just in case for good measure. All these apples are like bruised or there's some imperfection. There's some you know, they're just not they're just not they're not they're not the top stuff. I got to get those shopping services that we should get to sponsor this episode.

What's the line with all the like knockoff sad vegetables? Jamie, you must know. Yeah, let's get a sponsorship. I feel like we need to roll for the quality of the apple he buys and it needs to be on a scale of one to 10 needs to roll a D6. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to. Yes, I mean, it's good because I'm definitely going to eat this apple in his face to bolster his confidence. OK, that sounded like aggressive. Like you're just going to like get up right in his face and just eat. Sure. This apple, this could be you. And you're just like, yeah. D6. Give me D6.

Yeah. Oh, it's not it's fine. You got one of the good ones. Yeah. Maybe this guy's not as bad as you know, everyone thinks just he had a bad run of apples. He's getting he's getting better. But, you know, Paxton is going to eat the apple. Give him give him his compliment for the day. And I think before I try to catch back up with everyone else, I want to saunter over to the area. I think the person pointed out to me this this circle in downtown docks. I just I just want to take a little stroll down this main road to see if I can see any alleyways or nooks and crannies that look a little suspicious.

I won't even have you roll for that. I'll just say, yeah. OK. Yeah. No. Yeah. That like every other one is there are any that don't look suspicious. So like you're going to see so like, OK, you're going to it's real 70s New York. It's it's real warriors, right? Like it's bad. Like when you play, you're going to see like dice games going on and stuff like that. Like every time you walk by, you're in uniform. So they're going to be like, and they're just watching you like, you know, like I'm even getting that training day vibe where they're flipping pigeons to let everybody know that you're walking through the fucking shoes.

They're in shoes. Oh, my God. So like, you definitely know you're being watched. Oh, really? Oh, yes. Like, hmm. Am I being like followed kind of like like a mark? It's not that I am in uniform, so I don't think they would try to attack me or anything, but maybe your uniform. But I am alone. And you're OK. So I am kind of cute. You know, you are. That's that's just that's not even debatable. OK, you know what? Let's roll. Let's roll a D20. The higher the number, the more bold they're going to feel. Right. Well, shit. OK, that's an 18. They're feeling mighty bold. So as you're as you're strolling through, every time you pass one of these seedy alleys, you're going to get like a like a like a like a pilot fish.

They're just going to glob onto you and they're they're just kind of like kind of like poking their head out of the alley and then like kind of kind of watching you a little bit. And this is where Firebrand's reputation is a bit of a bad thing because you're in an in-between zone. You're not a joke now. It's been three weeks. People you've made some arrests. You've done some stuff like you're you're starting to get a bit of a reputation, but you're not one of the untouchables, right? You're not you're you're you're you're in that do-gooder like, oh, you think you're better than us?

You know what I mean? Like that type of thing. It's like, oh, OK, you think you're tough. So they're kind of following you. And then I would say me thinks those guys don't do well with the teachers not around. Oh, no, these guys do not treat substitutes well. So I think after you get like five or six of these random assholes, let's just call them random assholes, right? Can I get a wisdom check from you? I don't think I don't think we need a wisdom check because Paxton is not even realizing he's in a trap. Like if someone walks up to him or brushes his shoulder, he's like, oh, I'm sorry.

You have a good one. Hi. Hey, you have a good one. You have a good day. He's like he's not thinking about like, oh, let me squeeze past you there. Yeah. Excuse me, sir. You know, he's not you know, because in his mind, he's a cleric for the people. Why do you think he's the last person they want to they want they want trouble with? But debatable. And you know what made me. Oh, so you said a wisdom save the wisdom. Give me wisdom check just to see if like you recognize this group as you know, are they working? So nine. No. So, OK. They are going to gradually heckle you like you're going to hear like snickering and stuff like that.

And then they're like as they group up, they're going to get more and more bold. And one of them's going to whip a bottle at you. Somebody so someone told a joke. Hey, well, hey, he's going to like look around like. I think someone is doing something. Hey, everyone, be careful. What? Strange. Let me see. You know what? No, I'm going to roll this as an attack. They're just going to take a bottle and just whip it at your back. Right. But see who does it is like it's a random bottle in the crowd. I don't think the crowd's big enough that it's not like you're delivering a speech and they huck it like this is like six dudes.

So like, let's do this. Let's let's hoo ha. God, does a 17 hit you close it 19 hits. Jesus. Your AC is impressive for level two. Well, full plate, I think. Holy shit. That's all fun and games until he has to do stealth. Well, yeah, I think you're just wearing iron. No, just chain all over. So they're going to whip this at you and it's going to land close to your feet. Just OK. OK. Very funny, fellas. All right. What is the fantasy equivalent of like? Like like a 40 bottle of Rolling Thunder or something like that, some some fucking some Mad Dog 2020 rip off like.

So when it when it lands near his his feet, this might piss him off, piss them off a little bit. But he's going to say, all right. All right. Funny, fellas. But, you know, no day drinking. Come on. All right. Put the bottles away. Oh, my God. He doesn't understand his position. He still thinks he's in authority. OK. OK. So we know that they're bold. And boost up in the middle of the day to get to work. In the middle of the day. Yeah. You know what he's going to say, fellas, don't you got a job to get to? Come on now. OK. One. OK. Give me a persuasion check. If it's high enough, they're just going to be like, ah, fuck it.

He's not worth our time. I think that's the best you can hope for in this situation. That's that's like, OK, you. It's one of two things. Either you are so uplift, just oblivious to everything that's happening. Or you are so confident that that is it's like this non effort form of of authority that they're just going to be like, OK, wow, he's super confident. He must know something we don't. Or they're going to say, let's kick the shit out of this fucking rube. Or it's just enough fun. They don't like it. Oh, oh, 14 is OK. I think you're right on the cusp, right?

I think it could go either way. So they're going to intense. It's getting a little tense now. So like, I think they're going to they're going to show some teeth a little bit. And if you turn around, it's like, oh, don't you need to get to be someone's going to get the fuck out of here. That type of like they really punch the F in fuck like that. You know what I mean? Kind of that little like chest lunge forward type of thing. And for the first time, Paxton's going to get that like a bass, just me, sir. He's going to say, hey, hey, hey, hey, listen, I happen to work for the city.

I don't know who your employer is, if you have one. I doubt it, but I am in the middle of something important, trying to better the city. So I'm going to need you ne'er do wells. Now, I went there. You made me. I'm sorry. I went there. You ne'er do wells are going to have to step back and allow me to do my job. Are we clear? That sentence. Was the worst compiling of words that you could have used in this given situation. Oh, you do your hand motions. Yeah. Do you remember when Dave Chappelle and Chappelle's show used to do like Whiteface, like that reporter guy or when they did the wife swap thing like that?

Absolutely. Every second of it. That. That's the vibe I'm getting. And I feel like they are not going to take kindly to this. So at this point, they're going to start to move forward, like not run or anything like that, but they are. You're getting that blood in the water, shark circling vibe where they're going to start to close in around you a little bit. When they started stepping forward. Paxton is going to start to take a few steps back, like, hey, hey, fellas. Oh, hold on now. Let's just let's let's let cooler heads prevail. I am still a denizen of the city and a worker of the government.

Let's not make any mistakes here. We can we could just turn around right now and all go back to what we were doing. And they're still walking forward because my next step is going to be going to pick up my chainmail and start to huff it. OK, I think. I don't want to I feel like they would see that as a sign of weakness, right? Like the instant like they move in, you go, hey, oh, you know, and you're probably going to get between the six of them. You're probably going to get a lot of variations of something like, oh, your mom employs me or, you know, just various real men.

All right. OK. Yeah. No. Hey, you go back to the you go back to the classics when, you know, it's a real group mentality. So I think, yeah, they're going to start to they probably got a little half circle going around Paxton like they're moving in. And this is a weird this is a this is a motley crew of of of people, right? Like it's like you got men and women in here. You got a halfling and you got what appears to be this grizzled sailor motherfucker. You got like this. What could be a drow? You don't want to say assassin. That's that's assuming their profession, you know, but like like you had these are the one thing they call in common is they look desperate, like destitute.

You know what I mean? Like like any one of these guys might have a feather in their cap if they killed you here or beat the shit out of you. So, you know, Brightport is quite the chaotic city and sometimes even the most generic of citizen might have to just bolt and we're in those situations. So it's going to be Paxton is going to be like in the middle of a sentence where they're all encroaching. He's going to be like, oh, OK, OK. You don't have to be my mother and his old eyes. That's how you talk to a cleric nowadays. OK. And he's listening. Listen, listen, listen, listen, everyone, let's not make any mistakes.

Violence is not the answer. It will get you. And when he says no, he's going to pick up his little chain vest and start huffing it in the opposite direction. Back to the great quarter. OK. Now we're at a crucial point because one of two things is going to happen either. And this is best case scenario. They laugh it off. They kind of you know, they might whip something at you as you leave, but they they've asserted dominance. You're not on their turf anymore. Whatever. Or they give chase. And if they give chase, your big 19 AC is not going to help you in a foot race.

So I need you to give me a flat D20, a one through one through 10. They're going to give chase 11 through 20. They're just going to laugh it off and probably just call you a bitch or something. Hey, you know what? Brightport is the city of luck, baby. Oh, OK. Yes. 16. So they're going to they're probably going to like throw something at you or something. You don't call you a bitch. All that good stuff. They are very proud of their their little gang here. And apparently this is this is an affiliated group like they're that, you know, they they have. It's not as random as it looks like, you know, they call themselves the Iron Knuckle Boys.

And they are apparently bold enough that they would they could have potentially assaulted an officer of the law. So do I hear do I hear Iron Knuckle Boys as I'm running? Yeah, you probably at some point, like probably as they're encircling you, that type of thing where they're letting you know, you know, it's it's it's less formal than that. But it's like, hello, good sir. Did you happen to know that this particular area of the city is ours? Let me introduce myself. I'm you know, and then they you know, why didn't they start with that instead of the bottle?

We wouldn't be in this mess. Well, that was the introduction. That's just again, it's more colloquial, like you get to know it when you're in Brightport. Jason, do the Iron Knuckle Boys have a gang sign of some kind that you can show us? Do they have a hand gesture? Here's the thing. I'm what's known as terminally Caucasian. And I'm afraid that I will accidentally throw up some gang sign that is real. And get shot. And yes, I I've I've I've lasted quite a while not getting shot. And that's impressive based on where I came from. I would hate to die in California due to gun violence.

That's you've done everything wrong if that happens. No combo breakers, no combo breakers. Let's keep it going. Another 40. Let's go. OK, no gang sign. I got you. Would Paxton tell everybody about this when he gets to the office? OK, see, he's going to. OK, do I do I run straight into them or do I have a do I have a minute to like go somewhere else? Clean myself up. Yeah. No, I don't. I'm probably pretty sweaty. I mean, well, it's a cold day, but you are wearing a lot of heavy armor. So. But yeah, no, I think you have plenty of time to kind of compose yourself.

OK, OK, good. If that's the case, then I would when I meet with everyone, I would just say, you know, this one, that one. You know, I listen, everyone. I went down to the docks earlier today and the situation is quite more dangerous than I thought. There are these group of ne'er-do-wells called the what was it again? The Iron Knuckle, Iron Knuckle Boys, Iron Knuckle Boys, the Iron Knuckle Boys. And they might have something to do with a shipment of strong drugs coming in to the docks. Bad stuff called Oranash. I don't know if you guys have heard of it. Anyone here?

I don't know what G.O.L.O. may have given his lifestyle. I guess it depends on how far like he may have dabbled. I think maybe. Yeah. Unless it's like it's like instantly life ruiningly addictive. He has probably tried it. It's so we do drug classifications based on like ratings and stuff like that. And if if you guys happen to have the Adventures Guide to Therius, you'd see that it's up there. It's definitely up there. It's like a seven out of ten. So this might be like a one wild night. I gave it a try, but like I'm more of an ecstasy kind of guy like those upper class drugs.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Party drugs. Yeah. Well, it's more of a life ruiner drug. Yeah. Yeah. If this is that bad, then G.O.L.O. may not have tried it. Right. Like he doesn't like like ruining your life on drugs would get in the way of more partying. So right. Exactly. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Yeah. Yeah. OK. So he doesn't have any he doesn't have any playful, playful, playful male escort commentary on doing this drug. So continue. God. Well, if that's the case, then we know this is serious stuff. Do you think that might be related to the case that we're working? I guess.

No, I think they're absolutely related. That poor young man is hopelessly addicted to drugs. And this seems like the biggest shimping around. So I think if we put two and two together, it will make five. That's a joke, by the way, everyone. It's four. You add one to throw off the math and everyone questions why you thought that did that just happen for everybody else or did I just have like a seizure or something? Did he did he really do that? All right. Even if it's not directly related, it seems to be something within our mission statement. It's something that would go along with what our job's supposed to be.

So can't hurt. Do we know anything else about these people or so? When we is going to speak up and she's going to say or an ash from what I know is a really hardcore drug that's going to make people violent. So this is kind of a crime prevention sort of deal, I would assume, on top of, you know, it being a crime. It's definitely a crime. We want to help out situations like this. So stop it from getting to more people. Should we talk to our captain? To be clear, you have kind of standing marching orders. That's like, look, if you see something as impacting the city in a negative way, go for it.

You don't have to check in. He has that much confidence in us after last time. That's cool. After the three weeks of like, I don't know if we have that much confidence in ourselves. It's not like whether he would let us or not. It's more of that we might be a bit gun shy after the last two. You don't understand during that like three week lapse, we went to remedial law enforcement and got all the basics baked back in. We didn't go to non-rudal law enforcement school to begin with. I feel like there's a real like, like a police academy thing going on. Like it was it was a comedy.

Now it's drama. Like we're, we should make sound effects. That's all I know about police academy. Probably wouldn't hurt to just check in, see if we have any information on this group already. And at the very least, just let someone know where we're going if we wind up getting into trouble. Right. The shipment, a good friend of mine told me, by the way he sells amazing apples, is tomorrow around night time. They're going to get it in from the docks, cut it up, ship it out throughout the city. And I absolutely love to stop it before then. Ideally, I'd love to have a plan.

I tried to scope out any areas that seem ideal for a shipment to come in from the docks, but I was thwarted by the ne'er-do-wells. Which, they own the territory, which is why I brought them up in the first place. They might know. I thought you said their name was the iron knuckles? Oh, sweetheart. Gwen's just going to bury her face in her hands like, "Oh my god, between..." Because of that one and that one. Like, it's like, "Oh wait, is that the gang name?" Because I thought you said the other thing because no one would legitimately say the word ne'er-do-wells as actual phrase.

No, that's just what I called them. They didn't like it very much, to be honest with you. I won't lie to you, they got a little aggressive with me. And yes, they are the iron knuckle boys. That is their title. They let me know plenty of times. Giholo looks over at Bo in Guinevieve and says, "Maybe we should just check in with the boss man, if nothing else, so that he can inform our next of kin when we mess this up royally." Oh, he'd love that with mom. Yeah, I'm sure they've already had a conversation. Yeah, many conversations. I was about to say, I think it would be one.

Every day for the past three weeks, mom's been coming in to make sure. "What do you have my girls doing?" We're going to show up at his office and she's going to be there. They're like best friends now. She thinks so. So, okay. I... Back me up if this is too over the top. I don't like how the first thing we did was handled, right? So what if we just like blow up the boat? Do we even know which boat? I mean, there are a lot. Well, we find that out. We find that, yeah, no, no, no. We don't just go like, we don't just like roll the dice and like start blowing up boats.

But, what if we like, you know, if we send the drugs to the bottom of the bay, problem solved? Well, I would love to destroy the contraband, but there are people, lives aboard that ship that we have to consider. We have to try our best to bring these people to the full extent of the law. I feel like we don't know enough details to... Plus, I don't think any of us here are experts in blowing up things, particularly things that are on the water. It seems like it might be more complicated. Let's see if we can locate the drugs first and then maybe we can form a clan after that.

We know when they're coming in, where, and to whom. Exactly. Jason, does Theria have any like light fuse throw explosive kind of explosives? Like, oh, yeah. So, in Theria mostly it's a liquid explosive type of thing, like mixing chemicals and then you have a short amount of time before it becomes very unstable. But there are also bombs that can be lit and then thrown. So, yeah, we've established that a lot. We've done it. There's some big ass bombs if you're willing to, you know, if you're willing to have that on your person. Blow up a whole ship? Yeah, like, obviously the one thing is it's like, well, don't fall down holding it.

Yeah. That's the rule, right? No natural ones. Right. Otherwise you're going to really get around Brightport. That's cute. That's good. I like that. So, okay, okay, okay. So, guys don't want to hurt any of the guys running the drugs, which is a little unorthodox in my opinion because they're running drugs. But, all right, you know, when in Brightport. What if we are like, you have 30 seconds to get off your boat before I throw this explosive at it? Then if they're still on the boat, it's like stupid games, stupid prizes, right? Let's maybe go with the plan where we find information first and then figure out what we're doing.

You're right, Calypso. Finding information first will make blowing up the boat a lot easier. Let's do that part and then we'll have a better idea of how we're going to blow this boat up. Sure. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You have great ideas. I love it. I love it. I wish I'd thought of it. Beau was the one that said it, but yep. We're kind of making like an info stew, right? Everybody pitches in an ingredient. So, great job team. Let's... Absolutely. Good job everyone. Bring it in. Calypso kind of makes a face at the term info stew. It's kind of gross. I don't know. I think we're going to go talk to Warwick and then to see if there's any information on these Iron Knuckle boys.

Iron Knuckle boys! Can I just say fantasy, reality, it doesn't matter if you call your group anything boys. You sound like children. Is it B-O-I-S? Means you're certified ass kickers, okay? That's what I was thinking. You're right, yeah. With testicles that haven't dropped yet. Exactly. It really reveals Jason's wrestling background because it feels like a C-tier tag team name. Yeah, it's definitely... these guys haven't been called up to the main roster yet. These guys are... Not really a storyline so much as a lot of bravado. Yeah, they got chutzpah, but they haven't worked out their promo skills yet.

So we're going to have to... So if you were to just loop the mayor in to what you guys are doing, what would be the elevator pitch here? Because, you know, obviously... Who's taking the lead? That's a good question. Well I feel like Paxton got the info, so he should probably be the one to relay. I think we should let Paxton take the lead because he's the one that probably presents it in the most non-threatening way. Don't let Giolo take the lead. How about... Yeah, definitely not. Giolo's quite charismatic, but he doesn't really come off well in high society.

He knows. I think it's all about your audience, right? Yeah. You know, I think Paxton is the better pitchman for... Giolo will be the party face when you guys decide to slum it. There you go. Actually, to get around the part of town that Paxton was just in, I think you'd do better than Paxton. Oh yeah. I think any of us would have done better. Light, shiny, bright armor. Yeah. So obviously Steven's a busy guy. He's got a city to run. He's trying to make some changes. And if you were to come into his office, obviously he's probably talking to two or three people at once.

He's dealing with people and he would just wave you in. Come in, please. Please. Mayor Warwick, good to see you again, sir. He'd give you that. Almost too tight of a grasp handshake. Just like, one solid... Not tight enough. Warwick is the type of dude who has rules for how many times to pump for a handshake and how firm it needs to be. Very Ron Swanson-y or Hank Hill-y type of... Three and a half. Yeah. You know what I mean? Anything more than that, you're groping someone. Stop it. Three and a half, then you nod to the sign it's over. Yep. Giolo agrees, but he does six.

So, very, very no-nonsense, let's get to business. What's going on? Right, so I would just lay right into it. Sir, I'll tell you the truth, I went down to the docks earlier and there's a massive problem. We have Ora Nash that's going to be split up and divided across the city and we just need your blessing to get in there and do what we do best. I think he's probably looking at several different pieces of paper at the same time and he's gonna look up at you. And you're sure this is solid intel? I believe so, sir. I have solid, trusted sources down at the docks and I also went there myself and I did meet some hostility from some...

Seem to be gang members. I don't know if you heard of them, called the Iron Knuckle Boys. I want to feel like he almost said ne'er-do-wells but then remembered what happened with Calypso and hesitated. They seem to be ne'er-d. Iron Knuckle Boys. And Giolo walks up and packs him on the shoulder and is like, "Don't forget to tell him about Little Wiener." And gives him the thumbs up and then steps back again. *laughter* Circle back to the wiener. *laughter* So Jason, could you roll to see if Captain Steve heard about Little Wiener? I think Giolo said that.

No, Giolo said it a little too loud. Oh, on purpose. Yes, okay. Jason, could you describe how... Do you know in movies when there's a divorced couple? And it's usually when there's a child involved. Obviously, most of the time, the father doesn't get custody of the child but he gets to visit. And there's the new dad? I feel like there's that kind of animosity between Giolo and Steven. Where it's just like veiled hostility. Every time Giolo opens his mouth, Steven... It's like nails on a chalkboard. It's just like... *growls* You haven't done anything on the job that would signify that you're bad at it or terrible.

But it's your style. Whatever the opposite of that police captain is, like "You break all the rules!" You know, that type of thing. But you do, but not in a cool badass way. It's more of a Klaus from Umbrella Academy way. It's more of a... You know? I don't know. If Giolo can read this sentiment clearly... Oh, I don't think he's hiding. He LOVES it. Oh my gosh. The greatest. It's gonna become our thing. So, I think work would think about this for a few minutes. Well, you have my utmost competence. Do whatever you feel needs to be done, within reason. I think that it's high time these people need to realize that they need to respect your authority.

You need to... and I hate to use the expression "teach them a lesson." Let them know that there are consequences. Hey, I appreciate that, sir. I genuinely appreciate the chance to show we can do this. I believe this is going to be good for the city. If we do this right, sir, if we get this Oranash out of this city right now, I think we will see a positive change that will reflect on Firebrand. And subsequently, onto you. Paxton sticks out his hand again. He says, "We will not let you down." He would definitely shake your hand. And as he has it, I realize that your team's in a tough spot.

There are going to be... there's definitely going to be criminals who don't take you seriously yet. There's going to be law enforcement that does not take you seriously yet. Hopefully, after tomorrow night, we put some of those people in their place. He's going to give you that "get out there and get them" type of handshake, that ending thing. Right, and before I turn around, I'm going to say, "You're right, sir. It's high time. We earn a little respect in this city." He's going to turn around, walk towards the party. I don't know where they would be if they went in.

We were all kind of there. I would imagine you're all there. Yeah, we're all right behind you. Yeah, he's definitely eyeing all of you. Just to say, "Look, man, you have my vote. Do it. I hired you for that reason. You are the city's SWAT team, basically." Also, we were wondering, while we were sort of gathering intel before, this transaction is supposed to take place. Is there any information on this group or even that general area that might be available for us to look into? He's going to look around his office. It's a little scattered. He's an organized guy, but mostly his thoughts when it comes to paperwork and stuff like that.

It's like, "Oh, my God, there's just so much." Every time he goes to turn around, someone's filling up his inbox with new requests and things like that. So it takes him a while to find it. But there is a previous report dated about two weeks ago on this area because there's been an influx in drug use and drug sales in that area. He's going to thumb through this a little bit. Up until a few months ago, the Iron Knuckle Boys were real low-level players. Nothing much to write home about, but it seems as though they got a new leader. They have pivoted hard into drug sales.

When did the guy say his brother went missing? Did anyone take no? I don't have that. Yeah, I don't have that. That guy's been a drug addict for a while, but he went missing not long ago. I feel like drug addict doesn't become the leader, right? Don't buy your own supply. Now, Jason, I'll just ask as Paxton. Do we have a name on file for this new leader? A street name or anything? Maybe a description, appearance? Maybe I can recognize him from my altercation earlier. He's thumbing through this, and then he has a write-up on this guy. He's going to give pause for a second and do a double-take and re-read this.

Looks like a goliath, which is a little rare for the city, but not unheard of. We're dealing with a big boy here. He's over seven feet tall, solid muscle. That's the description. This description uses much more expletives than I would use, but very imposing. I would be very careful if you intend on confronting this individual. Colorful character is how I would put it. We don't have a given name on file, but apparently they call themselves Blight. Definitely did not run into him earlier. Yeah, very costumed villain almost. It's like, wow, that's out there.

I guess, here's the thing. After the Black Hand, it's like, well, I've got to do something to stand out. It's a war of escalation. Do you know what really sells drugs? Branding. Yes. What you need is a logo, you need a name, you need good SEO. That's what you need. You need minions who will scream your name while they drop torpedoes, but also have your logo on them. That's what 80s cartoons taught me growing up. If this is a big shipment, then there's a good chance this Blight will be there. At least make it easy to find the location when it's happening. Just need to confirm how the drugs are coming in.

Yeah, we'll see if we can find more details. But this is definitely a good start. Okay, bye. That's what I was going to say. Is there anything else? No, I think we're good here. Thanks for your time, boss. Hopefully we'll come back with a success. So, after we leave the office and we're just walking as a party, G.O.L.O. just kind of says to the whole party, "You know what the worst part about this is? Now that I'm in law enforcement and I'm going to start getting recognized, I can't do what I normally do in this situation, which is just go to that part of town and whore around until I figure out what was going on.

I'd learn so much and not have a nice afternoon/evening. But I can't do that because my reputation is going to stay. People are going to start to know me as part of the crew here. Shame. Don't you have... I mean, you do magic stuff. Is there anything that could change your appearance or something? G.O.L.O. thinks as I peruse my character sheet. I don't know if I took one of those. The mind control one didn't work very well. She's a little trigger shy with that one now. I feel like that first fight did so much to scar you guys about fighting. What do you mean?

I'm just a fucking android now. I don't want to take this to a dark place, but I'm wondering about consent issues with using a look different spell without telling someone and then having sex with them. Boy, if you crack open that can of worms in this fantasy world, we're all over the place. I think it depends on how... I was just going to say maybe not be a completely different person, but just changing up features and hair color or something. Yeah, you don't want to suppress the vegetation as hair color or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's... You guys don't worry.

I'm not going to sleep with anybody while changing my appearance. I'll just use charm person on them and then boom. Yeah, exactly. So we're updating the spell list. Magic roofie, I believe it's called. Ah, that's so much worse. So here's the thing. Do you know how... You're a new group and Warwick wants to give you the tools to succeed. You know how modern... boy, let me dodge that. I was going to say modern... the modern police force has rules. Let's... nevermind. Let's not compare this to Earth. Let's... okay. Do you know how there's requisition forms and there's all kinds of paperwork and there's all... you know.

A lot of that stuff isn't employed yet with you guys. So like there's an evidence room. There's weapons. There's things like that where you guys can just take what you need to do the job. So there are all kinds of weapons. There are explosives. There are drugs from previous busts that you could use for... there's all kinds... not use, use, but like used to sucker in new people. Like all that's there that isn't there for local, you know, regular ass guards. Like you guys have an unprecedented level of access until something goes very poorly and then this is, you know, you know what I mean?

This is why there are rules. It's like, oh fuck, I guess we got to make stoplights now because, you know, like, you know what I mean? Like, so as long as you guys keep charting upward and your wins column is bigger than your losses column, you guys are going to keep getting really cool stuff to play with. It's going to be permissive. Yeah. So Giallo basically voiced to the party that he doesn't know what to do because he can't use his normal strategy for gathering information. Continue from there. Jamie, you're coming in super low. Am I? I backed away from my mic.

I can't wait until I have a desk again, you guys. I was going to say I'm going to send you a desk, but that makes no fucking sense. I'll have one of them in a few months when we move out. It's just for right now I have to use this dresser setup that I got going on right now. My microphone is in a drawer. Oh, I have pulled out. I'm glad you pulled it out. That would be. So, um, um. I'm pretty good at standing in shadowy places and overhearing stuff. If I put my hood down, people usually assume I'm a kid. And the problem is if we go back to the docks, I've made a little bit of an impression in my Firebrand attire.

So that might be an instant cause for altercation. So we might need someone more stealthier to scope out the place if we want more information directly like that. Or we could ask around the area about the iron knuckle boys specifically, because I feel like they have a big part to play in any shipments in that area if they own it as their territory. If we're going there to find information, we probably want to be out of uniform. And this is just getting groundwork done before we actually do anything about it. So that probably with help. Paxton's like, you guys take off your uniforms.

I literally I was going to say, well, what am I going to do because you know I can't take this off. It's part of the ensemble. It can't be caught dead. You can do that thing you do where you get up on the box and you know, it'd be a good distraction. Yeah, it would help us out a lot. Sort of draw people in. I've heard of them. It may even draw in the iron knuckle boys because if they have an issue with you, perhaps you giving a speech will turn their lives around. Exactly. Yes, their lives around. In character. Say, definitely not fate, Paxton. You're not bait.

Not at all. Not at all. Hold on now, I make some good points about changing Brightport in my speech. It's almost a manifesto. Are you writing a manifesto? Another one. The first one was about these these these houses and how we could dismantle them. I don't know about the rest of you but I'm not I'm not surprised in the slightest. Has the word manifesto ever been attached to something good. I guess like the puppy manifesto. This is more of what like like a brochure. Manifesto means length. Gwyneth does not know how to feel because she's like in endeared to it.

At the same time, like, just like hats and like on the shoulder kind of like. So is this a thing where you want to go there tomorrow night and do that to draw him out or you want to go there now or like what would be the plan. It sounds like you're trying to set up a sting. I was thinking now because yeah, when the delivery is going to be and we really have any information about the delivery. Yeah, this is about getting Intel and so you want to go into the heart of the problem though you want to go into this this bad section of town and try to do it baby.

I think the way is just like so like packs maybe like sets up on his box like somewhere like maybe not like making me sound like a homeless guy is used to be a preacher at our community college. I'm sure you're much more likable than him though. What does Paxton have to say about the queers. Beautiful. He had a lot. Oh my love each other. So yeah, we get like passing like in you from all the box and the rest of us out of uniform like either like in the crowd or like going like elsewhere in the area but it's like, okay, that's where the firebrand guy is being loud and obvious about himself so it's kind of like drawing attention to people think that like away from us.

And also seem like who comes out to see that too as well. Right. So we want me to we want Paxton to set up his, his, his homeless man box at the docks. Exactly. Right, so we just wait for them to come kick my ass, then when they're doing that. We'll get info. Cool, cool, or have a change of heart. Yeah, or you change the change, which I'm sure will be a factored into the rule roles like Jason's a fair man, a 20 natural 20. Yeah. Give me, give me 25 minutes in my speech. I'll get that's the hook real time I'm going to give that to you in real time let's do it.

It's the 25 minute mark that really makes the difference. It's like now they got it's like the Bill Pullman speech and Independence Day you just got it it's the whole thing it's. Um, where are you guys going to be if Paxton set up there. I think, when we would do the thing where she pulls up or tries to blend in, obviously halflings exist and stuff but like because her arms are showing. It's clear that she's at least partially t flame. Okay, so people would typically assume she's a kid, as long as her hood is down, because she has very small horns, she's got little goat horns.

Okay, so that's her deal she's just going to kind of float around and be a kid. So like you're an easy like in the crowd type of thing. Yeah, like look for people who are kind of chatting maybe like near alleyways and stuff. In fact, she might, depending on how things go she might even go so far as to pretend to be begging for stuff like money. Because people don't care about that kind of person. It's harsh but true. Wow. Yes, I mean, you made me sad but yeah okay. It's very sad. All right. So, you're gonna set up. So you're not in uniform any of you. Not in uniform but definitely still armed.

Yeah, yes, no I wouldn't assume that you'd go that that would be fucking dumb. No we want to die. That's kind of our shtick. You know, I think what I think Gio's plan is going to be to go not in uniform, but like kind of try to. I guess we're not that well known is like law enforcement yet so maybe out of uniform he can like, try to flirt his way into information. I wouldn't say that you're, you're on site famous yet but the uniforms more famous than you. But since there's only five of you. It will not take much longer before people have you nailed you know what I mean like it's not like you're a, you're not a force in that there's like 40 of you.

Maybe Calypso and Giolo could kind of work together on the charisma persuasion front, since we're both got that stuff going on I don't know that. Yeah, I don't, I don't object to that. Giolo is kind of having like a, like a role crisis where he's like the normal way I do things can't cut it anymore and like, I feel like a man torn between two worlds. Well, I feel like, I feel like you and Paxton are trying to tackle this from polar opposites and the answer is somewhere in the middle. Yeah, yeah, that's almost for most things are gonna be handled from now on so let's do this.

I'm going to ask for roles from all of you. Let's start with Paxton though. Absolutely. You're kicking off this speech. So I'm picturing you guys are somewhere near the stout adventure that that part of town you're down by the dogs that that lower east side. And the goal is to kind of make a spectacle yourself so you stand it up on some crates. So you're probably like standing at around like, you know, six and a half seven feet tall right now like you're, you know, you're not towering over everybody but you got you got a nice little like field of view.

And you kick off by saying what? Well, I was thinking about doing this one of two ways right. I could just shoot from the hip. Say what's in my heart about brightport, or I can roll for how well the speech is going to go and just like go off that like go off like how I'm going to start like what I'm going to say, like if it's a five. Well, I'm gonna be pissed. If you want my vote. I love random roles. So that's just me. Okay. All right. Yeah. So, you know, one through 20 and 20 is going to be more in passion more to the heart but one's going to be a real bad day.

I'm just going to take it out on the people of brightport 1313 Okay, so team Paxton is going to get up on his favorite little box here. And he's just going to start just speaking to the people about what he feels and you know he's just, he's just he's a distraction. He does this all the time so it was just start off. People of brightport. You have been stolen from by whom you ask the houses of brightport, the ones that say will protect you ones that will give you jobs, food and homes they take they steal they rob from you the people who work so hard for them.

The people in the docks the people in their, in their personal houses. They're all being stolen from. And you can change that with a vote. You, you vote. Without that without change in our government system. These houses will take taxes from the hard working people forever. We are in the docks, this understand this. This is the heart of right port, not those new houses way up on the hills with too much money and too much power. This, these people here, you, you have the power. If you stop working today, they'd have to come down from their pearly little chairs their thrones and whatnot and they'd have to come and beg you to come back to work.

And you understand that, and you're just gonna keep going like that. Wow. You also have law enforcement versus firebrand. And now you have portions of fire brand versus the houses of brightport, which is also versus the mayor who's going to get like, we have a real Mexican standoff going on, making it much more complex and difficult. And as soon as there were demons in my city. Everything changed. Everyone has to like everyone's vying for power the church. What's it, the church versus the state was, oh man, I Paxton says get out and vote. Let's do it change it change everything.

Do me a favor, give me a persuasion check. That is fair enough. I'm going to see how many people get on board with this because like you're like, obviously, some of the best speeches in terms of gathering supporters involves pointing the finger. If you could point to an establishment figure and say this is the reason why you have no money. You're Jeff Bezos is your, your, your Robin Hood's right now, you're, you know, if you could point to somebody and say, Oh, this is the reason these this thing is screwing you over. You're much more likely to gather there you go.

That's a 19 is about right. So I'd say about two three minutes into the speech you kind of like at first people are like, Oh, shut up dude, just like they've probably seen you before. Yeah, like it's like, but like the longer you go on the more fired up you are it's like, wait a second. That's not all nonsense. Yeah, that's it's like wait, it just seems a little different today seems. Yeah. You know, I've been it's like, hold on, I've been piling up crates and unloading ships for these houses for a long time now. And I'm still broke. Okay, hold on a second like that.

You're kind of hearing like a Yeah, like what I want is like someone who was listening that he's just bullshitting picking up ducks I want him to stop in his tracks and say, Wait a minute. What would happen if I did quit. I just want to write, like it's you're kind of so creeping into their minds. I need you to give me one more d 20. Now, here's the thing. When people like this get fired up. There's a few different ways it can go. Right. Yeah, you see where this is going. So, you're in a lower class neighborhood in terms of, you know, being economically rich but they're, they're used to violence they're used to stuff like that so there's a few different ways this go it could go it's like yeah man, we should vote these fuckers out of here, but like you or maybe it could be like pushing for a certain someone to have control over it might be like oh the mayor might be able to do something instead or like, you know, or it could turn more violent, it could be.

I want an immediate solution. And if there were no houses of bright port guess what, like that. I didn't say all that. It's up to them to interpret the message at a certain point so here's what we're going to do. Give me a d 20 the higher the role, the more, the more civilized we're going to handle this the more, the more we're going to it's like yeah you know what let's fight the power man let's fucking vote, like that's that's the only way but the lower the role. The more all the guillotines back out. Yeah. I'm gonna go bright port there. They're good people he's just watch this.

Oh my. Hey fellas calm Hey everyone. Oh no, God damn it we started a riot. Yep. I may have said too much. Hey Jimmy Jimmy don't look so pissed off over there. Okay, listen, listen, I okay I was, I was blown off some steam guys let's just all go back to work for our friends out there on audio only that's a natural one, that's a one on the scale of one to 20. So you got a problem. Now, okay. So what started as a distraction is quite the distraction. So, you got a bunch of these people are like yeah, yeah, we should fucking kill them. No, it's not like you're right the fuck.

I've worked. I just I just like how like, as soon as the speech is over I'm like, instantly like as soon as it's over like there's this moment of silence. Everyone's like yeah let's fuck them up and like, I'm just instantly drowned out like they're just done like I just put on mute. Let's just calm down let's just cool our heads prevail. No, no, no more than just no more than I can. I've been paying for him and for a long time that grimness bitch owes me 12 gold, and she fucking done. Let's hang the bitch like now it's like now we're, we have a full scale crowd and the problem is once you get a crowd going, then you got more people checking the crowd to see what's going on.

And then some of those people are either going to get on board the trolley and go, or they're going to, it's like, Whoa, I'm gonna shut my windows and doors, and just like hopefully this goes away. But they're starting to mobilize now they're starting to get, you know, and Jason Furthermore, are they like, man, that Paxons violent revolution idea was a really great idea. I think, like, not just. Okay. I want to take you back to the beginning of the speech. The beginning of the speech was. I'm Paxton, and I'm from fire burn. So it's not just Paxton it's like, you know what the fucking fuck those fire brain guys are right.

Fuck that, like yeah let's. So, that's the situation we're dealing with. You know it's shooting from the hip from my heart. Opening up a name tag for uniform looking at the crowd move like some, some, some quarters are chanting Paxton packs he's just like, he's looking at the crowd like he broke like the most expensive base easily. I imagine there's a bit of pride at first, like it's like yeah yeah like you reached them. I reached once the first time ever. And then you start, you start seeing them like draw weapons they're just they're they're getting and like they're people joining from like houses and stuff like it's okay.

Get your axe let's go, we're fucking going right now. Like, I'm, here's what I want you to ruin me on Twitter. I'm going to cancel fire brand here we go. I need you. Here's what we're going to do. I need you to roll a one D 10. Now, as this picks up. What we're going to do is count how quickly this gets out of control, whatever you roll. And we're going to multiply that by 50. And that's how many people are jumping aboard right now. So you want to do to de escalate as being part of the crowd. Have you ever tried to fight a riot, like, Jesus Christ, I can barely walk through Dragon Con, I don't.

I mean it's tough, like so much for the drug bust we got bigger issues guys incited a riot is this might be the rest of our nice things that we've done. Well at least that's tomorrow. Okay, so all you got to do is roll low. Right. You know, like, listen, the guy who constantly says stuff like no one listens to or cares about the one time. It was good stuff. Listen to wrath is is going to hear my please. This did not go the way I wanted. She's not happy, but she's she's gonna help me out this time. Yeah, uh huh. You were saying. They're 400 people 400 people.

Where the hell do I come from. Looking around like, you're coming from the like digging underground city that's actually coming in with like six level five spells like it's starting to pick up like let's just like go to like, like, lightly sort of let like, like, rapidly jewel his arm and sleep. We should go somewhere else I mean this is a picker distraction than planned but if we get out of here they'll be. We could still find something to make use of this. Jason. Yeah. Did I overhear anything before the riot. I so any importance. Okay, I remember when I said I was gonna have all of you roll.

Yeah, yeah, I do. I remember when I was a part of this game. I'm just kidding. Let's go back to that. Let's go back, because we know we know where this goes. Let's, let's do that thing. Let's let's Tarantino this up. Hell yeah. I would rather call it the princess new groove. This. Thank you. You're the only one in the world. Ah, fantastic movie. Princess new group Emperor's new group was so much better than any Tarantino movie that's ever existed. I mean, if you want to support David spade that hard. Okay. I do. I love to shoot me. Let's, let's, let's shoot me. Holy shit, you're okay.

I love talk show now. It's David spade. I think that's wow, just shoot me. Okay, hold up. Whatever happened to Laura Sangiocomo what she did. What good things for her. I don't know. I like to imagine Kelsey's just looking up Jeff suit me right now. It's right up there with the TV show in terms of important. The fuck out of here. No, we have a situation. Yeah. She calls Ted dance and Becker and it's infuriating because it's either Sam Malone, or you could reference good place. Nothing in between. Okay, let's let's win with the mob and stop stop right. Wait, we already did that.

Yeah, yeah we did. Yeah, we were there. Mission accomplished. So let's go back a step. So you guys are in this crowd and and Paxton starts off I'm Paxton, and I'm from fucking fire brand and I got some shit to say. And, and you're like wow bold start. Okay, and you're just you're just doing. So, um, you got like, let's say 2030 people in this crowd. You got you know it's it's like 2030 people it's like okay there's a crowd I could say, and then slowly but surely people start like joining the coming out of the bar there, you know, it's like, it's like, Oh, hey, I'm here this down the street what's going on and like more and more people join.

So, give me a wisdom check. Yeah, you know what, Gwen give me a wisdom check here. Okay. I argue. Oh boy. investigation. You know what, tell me what you would be doing. Gwen is with her again with her hood up kind of wandering and looking for people that seem to be having, you know, quiet conversations unsavory types, so that she can kind of. Get close enough to hear them while pretending that she is begging for coins and or just a kid being a child at them. Give me an investigation. Yay. That's intelligence based. 15. Okay. Okay, let's come back to that. Just a sec.

Let's let's roll that back because that's a good role. Yay. So we got Calypso, and we got Giolo in the crowd kind of kind of sweet talking people is it. Okay. You may both have different ways of going or you may surprisingly be going the same is it more flirty, or is it more like just just just chatting people up and being like generally nice and kind of warm. I said I think we know where Giolo is gonna land on that section. Fair. I mean, Giolo. Giolo just kind of like buys a drink and moves over near a crowd and kind of tries to schmooze his way in slash so innuendo into the conversation to see if anyone's receptive to that kind of coercion.

Give me persuasion. Yeah. Give me a persuasion. Let's see if he can get something going. Right. So skills. 14. 14 is not bad. Yeah, it's not bad. You got. Yeah. So, I would say that people, people of all walks of life in this neighborhood Paxton is so nailing this speech right now that. This may be the wake up call that people need it like people are stopping and they're like, wow, I genuinely never thought of it like that. That is. Maybe we need a, we need to change like I really pisses me off. Really lights a fire. Not literally yet. Not, yeah, not literally yet, but like yeah so um, there's going to be, there's going to be some, some bartenders brothel workers, blacksmiths, people selling not so great fruit.

I would say, I'd say Paxton's apple buddy is just like, fuck yeah. Yeah, I deserve better fruit, like just like Paxton says he is some old man. So there's probably, I would say, there is a lovely half elf. And we're talking very obviously. A lust worker. Let's go. That sounds 10 times worse. Yeah, that sounds 10 times worse. So, okay. Obviously, I guess, I don't know, whatever, prostitute. So, very clearly, we're talking an overly tight, overly tight corset currently spilling out of it very, very much it's like okay, I was working before this but this is a good speech, so I'm going to take, I'm going to take five.

And she, if Jell-O's speaking to her it's like, man, that Paxton is skilled with his tongue. You really think he's something else, don't you? You know what, let's fucking do it. Let's, let's go. Let's go full innuendo back and forth. Let's go. I mean, he really knows how to get a rise out of this crowd. She's, she's gonna kind of be cozying up to Jell-O too, because like, you know, Jell-O's got a certain type of charm. Yeah, yeah, for this particular part of town. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I could. I don't mean to brag, but I know him. I could, I could introduce you later.

He's, it's, it's, he's a little standoffish in, you know, romantic kind of situations or if people are coming on to him, but it's all an act. I promise it's just, it's just part of his, it's part of what he projects, right? She's going, she's going to look Jell-O up and down. Is everyone in your circle so talented? We all have different gifts, shall we say. She's going to run a hand down Jell-O's chest. Well, I am a sucker for a skilled orator. Oh man. I'm low on lines right now. That's okay. More beer, right? I have a feeling I'm not as sharp as I'd be without, or, you know, otherwise.

Well, that is Paxton over there to a T. I'm, my gift is more in the realm of flexibility. And he kind of, ma'am. All right. All right. Listeners, you got it. You got it. Rob plays a male prostitute, so brace yourselves. And he kind of suggestively grinds up against her a little bit. Send your fan art to danddrpodcast.gmail.com. That's danddrpodcast.gmail.com. So this is going to continue a bit. And she's going to, again, they're cozying up to each other. My, if I didn't, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to pump me for information. While they're having this cozy wordplay.

Can I just real quick, the camera is on. Like, Jason's camera is on. Eye contact! I have no shame or pride. Let's go. For all of you at home that are uncomfortable, imagine how we feel. Don't worry. That behind the scenes video will be up for you on Patreon. Oh yeah, I feel something all right. Lead a lot up to the imagination. Y'all need Jesus. I need YOLO. That's why my camera's off. Coward. To the pump for information suggestion, GLO replies. He leans in. He leans in real close. Kind of gets behind her and wraps his arms around her abdomen. And leans his mouth down by her ears.

And he says, "Why don't you help me figure out whether you have something worth pumping for?" This is borderline not even innuendo anymore. He's a sex worker. I feel like, okay, so I feel like just about at that point, that's when Calypso's like, "We should get out of here." Because they're not even paying attention to the fact that there's pitchforks and torches all around them. And there's a crowd, if they look around, it's like, "Holy shit, there's like 500 people here." Like, they're not paying attention. Calypso, could you do me a favor and give me a persuasion check to see what Calypso did.

Oh, that was the wrong one. That's a good thing, because... That's better! Wow. That is much better. Let's drop that three, take a 20, I guess. So... The hammer's my penis. I'm sorry, there was discussion about whether I was super confused about whether I was actually secretly nailing a dude. And it's like, "No, my innuendos make sense for a gentleman seducing a woman, okay?" I wrote that immediately after Robin all caps, "I'm the one pumping." It was really fake. That's a very selfish sex worker. Like, you wanna be doing other... you're supposed to be doing stuff to her.

Well, if he's pumping... Like, pumping is like a thrusting gesture. Oh, I was thinking, you know what, I apologize, I was thinking about your hands, you're right, there's a whole hip area I was leaving out. Wow, that's crucial, the whole hip area. Yeah, that's pretty important. That's pretty important. That's your little part of our Voltron, like, come on. Yeah! I'm the pump. He's not Rayman, like, there's stuff there. Not Ken Doll. That is just about the Rayman fucking thing. Let's just cut to the part where two 35+ year old guy nerds talk about a sex scene between their D&D characters, and then we can get on with the riot.

Here's the thing, I've long since given up on having another job after this, so... Rob, you say it that way, it's almost weird. Yeah, just about. Hey, I'm not from the Midwest. So, I feel like, information-wise, Calypso probably did a little better. Just from... So, how, what's Calypso's style? Don't you say that, this could be a very informative whore, alright? I'm not saying that eventually you won't get, I'm saying, in this particular situation... It takes time because it's an art. That's fair. Maybe Calypso's just, like, quicker to the punch, so to speak.

Yeah, and this, not really good for this subjection tactic. So, what Calypso does, like, start off just kind of like talking to people, and then as people start to get more into the speech, they actually start to be like, "Yeah, and like, you know who else? Like, what about the gangs and stuff?" Like, kind of like working in what people, what the speech is talking about into trying to like, talking about the local gangs and like, "You know, I wonder if they're working at the houses or something?" Like, just like getting people talking more about that and seeing what they can get from there.

So, that's a crit. See, you're gonna get a bunch of information based on that, because if you're weaving in and out of the crowd, obviously they're focused on Paxton. You know, representative of Firebrand. Go burn down your local electors. Like, just, so... I'm ruined as a politician, by the way. That was quick. You're starting to get a pretty big base going on around here. I mean, you got a platform that people pay attention to. Lots of fans. Now, what if, what if you... Alright, I just, I just wanna, I just wanna pitch this out here, just like see how it rolls off the tongue.

The Firebrand autonomous zone. We take a neighborhood, we establish our own, our own remote government. We're seceding from Brightport! And we tax all traffic through the neighborhood. You're gonna get, like, I think you're gonna get bits and pieces of information and like, it'll, it'll, it'll put together a lovely canvas after you've, you've gotten it. Like, there's, there's gonna be a bunch of people, like, kind of agree. It's like, yeah, man, fuck these houses! Like, Brightport done more for this community than, than fuckin', you know, any of those, than them, than you.

So, you're getting the sense that probably one out of every twelve people or so has done at least some work. Either unloading cargo or turning a blind eye to something or paying off, you know, that type of thing. Like, hey, I don't buy drugs, but, you know, I mean, if that's your thing, that's your thing. It's not my, you know, that type of thing. Gwen, can, can we cut back to Gwen for just a moment? Hello, I'm not grinding anyone. That's good, 'cause you're supposed to be a child. So, call me old-fashioned. So, Gwen is taking a more hands-on approach in terms of, like, slinking through a crowd.

I'm way more hands-off. I don't know what you're talking about. You know what I mean. Sorry, that's the last one. I won't. Okay. So, you're slinking through the crowd and everything, and you're gonna catch a bit of what Calypso's getting and stuff like that. You're, you know, and just about the time where this crowd grows riotous, Gwen's going to back up into something, and it feels like a wall. And Gwen is going to, like, oh, you know, that type of thing. Like, at first it feels like a wall, and it's like, oh, God, that's a person. Excuse me. And she's gonna turn around and see legs.

And she's gonna have to tilt her head up, and there is this bright white goliath covered in war paint wearing a fucking polar bear. Like, the head rests on top of his, the maw is closing down over his eyes. And he's like, this dude stands out in a crowd, and he's just standing there with his fucking giant arms, like inhuman. It's Goliath, but like inhuman bodybuilder arms just eyeing Paxton. And just... Question. Yes? He's not rioting, though. Oh, no, he's just watching. Oh, that's terrifying, because he did not. So, I would picture, like, you see a bunch of these people, like, there's, you know, tieflings and humans and half-elves and all these people, a few dwarves in the mix, and they're all, and then you just see this, like, six, seven inches at least above everybody else, just bright white eyes, no pupils staring at you.

Just... But there is one more role that I need, and I think it's only fair that Paxton gives it to us. Oh, I know. I know. This is a role for when Mayor Warwick whips my ass how bad it's gonna be. Can I try a thing too before we end, Jason? Sure, please. I'll wait until you do your thing, if you want. No, go ahead, because this is more of a... This is definitely going to lead us into the next session, so please. Okay, just because I never really pictured Bo as, like, the persuasive trying-to-get-information type, she was probably more keeping an eye on everybody in the group while being a part of the crowd, and so I'd love to roll a perception to see if I see anybody else from the description that Paxton gave us.

And that's why I wanted to bring Bo in at the end of this, because we're gonna kick things off with Bo next time. Oh, okay. So, give me a perception. Oh, perception's my worst one. Oh. Never mind. Hey! That's a five. Well, you know that people are angry about something. It's like, man, this crowd got fired up. Man in a polar bear suit walked past you and you don't move. Bane in a fursuit is not far away. Oh my god! So, here's the thing. What are you describing me? This dude is addicted to snake vein. Snake vein is an organic steroid that this dude has been taking for so long that his body's essentially mutated.

He could crush you with his bear hands. Oh, it's literally Bane in a fursuit. It's Bane in a fursuit. That's basically what we're going for. So, you're saying the snake vein gave him big pythons. Is that how it works? Yeah? Yep. You don't even want to know about his anaconda. Well, I mean, if it's anything like human rolls, it's more of like a tiny worm now. That's not how it affects Goliath. The mark of going to detail? Oh no. It's really hard to knock him down, though. I will say that. No. Um, so, here's, okay, we know we're starting out with 400 people. But I want to see.

I want to see if there's a snowball effect. Oh boy. Now, here's what we're going to do. I thought the 400 people was after the snowball effect. In this area? Oh yeah, yes! What's the population of Brightcourt? Oh, it's in the tens of thousands. Yeah, it's the New York of Saria. We're fucked. This is just all one night, so this could be a really bad night. This could be, as sun sets, this could be a bad night. So, here's what I want you to do. All I want you to do is roll a flat D10, and on a scale of 1 to 10, for every number you roll, we're going to multiply that by 200.

That's it. Oh? So, that's all we're going to do. So, do me a favor, give me a flat D10, and let's just roll low. Let's just keep this. Listen, let me tell you something. Arathis has been kicking my ass all night. She owes me a nice, clean, easy roll. I don't know, man. You delivered one hell of a speech. Exactly, that's what I thought. But she just... Loopy bitch got me. I guess I was wrong. Well, here we go. It's going to be a 1, so it's all good. 3! 3's not terrible. Yeah, I'll take it. You're getting better. So, you're dealing with a thousand people. Is that on top of the 400?

No. That's all together now. That's everyone. You just got another 6, then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, let me just write down 1000 writers. Now, I want you to roll the dice, and we're going to multiply by 25, and that's how many innocents die in the collateral damage. We're not there yet, Rob. Don't spoil. These people are, to use a clinical term, katamari balling their way toward the center of... Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, I mean, that's how city planners describe it. You're so fired. I should... Then we'll be fired, Bran. Hey! The Curb Your Enthusiasm music is license-free, right?

I believe that's... I think we can use that. So, that's cool. I said my name is Paxton. And I'm from Firebrand! The rest of us did our jobs perfectly well. I think that's a great place to stop for the night, and this is probably going to get worse before it gets better, guys. I didn't see that coming. I don't want to be a negative Nellie here. We need to get out of here, because this is not getting... The good news is I might have gone viral in Brightport, the equivalent. Everyone's going to know your name. Real big on TikTok. I love how confident you are that this is good news.

Well, do you remember how I said, Rob, that it won't take long before people recognize your faces? One of you is definitely recognizable after this. So it begins. And hey, the next time we need a good distraction. Another question. I was going to say, I think the next thing we need to do is leap up in front of this crowd and be like, "We just figured out that the Iron Knuckle Boys have been behind the government the whole time!" That would work, I think. I think that's pretty reasonable. Yeah, and told the big man in a polar bear suit just leaps up on the stage and cold-cloths you.

Yup. So, this Mr. Blight, when he was looking at me, was he looking cross, angry, aggressive? I think it's his natural status. He's got resting, Goliath face. This is very much like, "Who are you, and why are you here, and what are you doing?" That type of thing. I don't think he wants... He doesn't necessarily want a spotlight on his community right now. Understruck to make change for the better, smile. You're making changes. Definitely making changes. What do you tell by the murder and mayhem outside? It's all for the better. You're doing such a good job. I don't...

I gotta tell you guys, you've had three sessions, and I don't know if you've necessarily made Brightport better yet. Technically, we've had two sessions. This is our third session. It's your third session. But one of them was half a session, and then you got to the first session. No, I counted that as one session. Oh, okay. I just did the bathroom. Because one was the double session that was put into one session, the second one was the one where we had three weeks, and then this is our third. You had to talk to your mom and all that stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. I'm just bad at things. So this was your very next mission. We're still level two. I hope our mom's shop doesn't get ransacked. That's what I was thinking. We put her in the... She's in the middle high quarter. That's where they're gonna go first. We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors. Please don't go anywhere. So that escalated pretty quickly. I have no idea how Firebrand's gonna deal with this. It does not look good. I'll be honest. What do you guys think? What are your immediate thoughts after listening to this? Give us a tag on Twitter, @danddarpodcast.

Hit us up on Facebook. Dungeons and randomness all spelled out. Or you can check out our Facebook group. Let us know. Send us an email at danddarpodcast@gmail.com. That's danddarpodcast@gmail.com. We want to hear what you have to say. Also, on our Patreon, at patreon.com/danddarpodcast. We've made a bunch of changes. You may have heard that in the previous little post we've done in the main feed, but you can now get ad-free versions of the show at the $5 tier. We're adding extra games to the $15 tier. We are bringing back new bloods. We've added a third Patreon group that is just about hunting monsters, and they're all themed from famous Hollywood monster movies.

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But until then, good luck with your games, everyone.