The One that Got Away

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. The table's stuck with James. Oh no, you're muted. My God. The whole time since I've been back? Good start. Good start. Oh, I... It's okay. Well, that's probably a relief. We're all still friends. We weren't ignoring you. I don't even know if I even said anything. [laughter] Alright, just from the top. Alright. You're James. What's your favorite candy? My favorite candy is... Not coming to my mind right now. I don't eat a lot of candy anymore. I think I'm too old for that. Yeah, no. None of us get to eat enough candy. Like, I mean, you know.

But, guys... Like a chocolate chip cookie once in a while? Oh, God. Okay. Fresh chalet oven? Mmm. The chocolate melts? Yeah, I gotta go. [laughter] Uh, yeah. So, no. I'm James and I'm playing Gaius Reim, the human druid. Of the land. Sorry. Just to let everybody out there know, I have learned so much about candy in this sitting. If you're not listening to the behind the scenes, Canada gets different KitKats than us. Three Musketeers... That was Japan. Well, Japan. Everybody knows that, right? They have like dirt-flavored KitKats and shit. Like, it's all crazy over there.

But, like, yeah. Three Musketeers used to be a totally different candy bar. It's amazing. I just... [laughter] And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa and I play Vella, the Minotaur rogue. And Ian. Ian here. He/him. I am playing Corvus Eben, the human cleric. And my favorite candy is the dirt-flavored KitKat. Mm-hmm. It's got an earthy flavor. It's bold. Yum, yum, yum. And James. No, I did James. And Ryan. [laughter] Hey, everyone. I'm Ryan and I play Yegman, the gnome paladin. And his favorite candy would probably be Reese's Cups. Oh. That's good. But if you're out and about and you're hungry, I suggest a Take 5.

It's got a lot. Isn't Take 5 so good? Isn't it Reese's? Not unless you're the Terminator. [laughter] Listen, I just grew up calling it Reese's. It's Reese's! There are two... Oh my god, is this like a Berenstain thing? It's Reese's! Right on the screen, yes. There's an extra S! Reese's. It's possession. Yeah. And... Sues it. No, no, no. [laughter] No one goes a damn thing until we get this sorted out! Wait, in Canada do they not have the possessive? Is it just Reese's? [laughter] Bring us some and we'll find out! [laughter] Oh yeah, and I'm here. I'm Susan. I play you all in the Elri Artificer Core.

I did that backwards. It's gonna be a good one tonight, guys. I can feel it. It's gonna be a loopy... You can feel it in the air, that crackle. Crank up coffee. Crackle's an awesome candy bar. Yes! [laughter] Yeah! Got 'em. We got 'em all. Listeners, I apologize. Today's gonna be a loopy... For what? Pure gold, Ronan? [laughter] Listen, if we trim out all the extras, it may only be maybe 30 minutes of content. It's gonna be a 50/50 episode today. [laughter] What are you, running the show? What are you? Off that 30 minutes, though, how much is devoted to poo? [laughter] Well, we won't know until we get in there.

Here's some more leaves, Yegman. Let's find out. [laughter] This is perfect, 'cause now we actually have a reason to cut some. [laughter] I mean, none of that pure crude oil in the beginning. We're gonna keep all that, but... I want our 10th anniversary special to just be Steve. Like, just... he's the only one listening. Like, that's it. That's it. [laughter] Last time on the show, we had... We had a mishap involving some tics. And our listenership had some feelings about tics. Just in general, like as a concept. Little skin burrowers that they are. [laughter] A few of you, if I may, got infected with achy-brakey bones, which is something you don't want.

Nonsense. I mean, look... It's fake news. You don't want that to progress, is all I'm saying. So, you're nude, you're cold, go. Wait, what? Why are we nude? We're gonna run out into the tundra. Ah, that's crazy. That's right, because we took turns undressing each other. We had to stick by each other. Yeah, no. We got to see Gaius's wooden lower half, and it goes all the way up. I meant to ask about that. Like, how far up or down does the... Currently, it's at his knees. Okay. No, there's no wooden woody woody wood. He doesn't have wood. Actually, Yolna would probably ask about that.

I mean, maybe not while he's undressed, because everything's awkward enough as it is. But afterwards... So, I see you have some sort of affliction. What was its cause? Oh, my legs, yeah. Well, it's a bit of a mystery. It happened when I was a child. I kind of just maybe stepped on something. Not really too sure, but it started at the bottom of my foot, and it's been moving up ever since. And you have never tried to ascertain its origin? Well, I mean, I asked around the circle and that, but I didn't really get any answers. Not too sure what's going to happen when it gets up to my top parts.

But, strange thing. Can't even feel there either. The wood is hard as rocks. Hmm. Well, my people are known for magical research. Maybe they could try to root out its cause. When you say "root out"... I know! She had no pun intended, but Susan did. Korma is just like, he's trying so hard not to stare at it, and when you say that, it just blushes really hard and gets really embarrassed. Well, I mean, yeah, if I could find out where it came from, it's been part of me for so long, I'm not really sure I want to get rid of it. It's... you can't feel your legs, and you don't want to get rid of it?

Well, you know, it's been with me for so long, it's just... I don't remember what it was like not to have it. So the feeling part doesn't really bother me. It's more of a... it's more like an armor or something like that, you know? It's a strange thing. Have you ever taken damage to your legs? Do you know if perhaps they regenerate? Not saying that we should hack off a foot, but just curious minds would like to know. Well, not so far. I mean, I can't say I've had a sword to my leg before, but it's been pretty durable. I haven't really tested out the extent of what might damage it or not.

How long does it take to, you know, progress? What's the rate? Well, it's slow, thankfully, for me. See, I'm going on almost 60 years and I got it when I was just a boy. My daughter, however, took her pretty quickly. You had a child? Yes, Tara. She got it, of course. She was pregnant at the time, actually, but she had the baby, shortly before the affliction took over. Is she still with us? To the daughter? Yeah. Well, she's at home, but not too sure she's still in there anymore. Perhaps having a child progressed the rate of the accursed or affliction because there were two lives.

This is fascinating, but sad. Is it something you can pass on? I guess so. I mean, I don't see any other way it happened. But thankfully, my granddaughter, Ivy, she's fine. She's fine. She's probably around your age, Corvus. Strong, strong girl. Hopefully she can join up with us at some point. Not here. I wouldn't recommend she join up with us here, especially us naked and covered in ticks. Well, maybe not the ticks. She's a hardy girl, though, like her grandfather. I think she'd fare well up here. Oh, yes, Corvus. We are finished. You can put back on your clothes now.

I'm pretty sure you're dressed by now. You're just standing around naked while we're all talking. Corvus would have been dressed so fast. So I feel like we left things off last time, and I think it sounded a bit more desperate than it may actually be. Yes, ticks are bad. Yes, there is a level three disease creeping through more than half of the party. However, they will get a chance to save against it, and that'll come at the end of the day. Can I ask a question? Is this long rest time? It sounded like that's where this was going last time we sat down. Yeah, I think we were getting down for the night.

You were trying to sleep, but ticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, I hate that I'm about to do this, but I know we were talking about it. I had a bed bug infestation, and when that happened, psychologically, it messes with you. So you're trying to sleep, and you're like, "Is something crawling on me? Is this a safe place?" And it is super hard to get a rest. I'm just saying. No, and I appreciate what you're saying. I think that's fair. Let me just bring up a document. So does man get inspiration? I'm gonna say, you know what? I was just talking on Mastering the Game last night about someone giving themselves a bit of a deficit, a hurdle to overcome, and I want to reward that.

So here's what I'm gonna do. Not only does Ian get inspiration, I think the whole party should get inspiration, because I'm about to do something to you. Oh no. So here's what we're gonna do. That inspiration might come in handy, because if you're going to try and lay down again, I need to see... I need every person in this party to do me a favor and roll a charisma saving throw. Oh no. Okay. I don't think that's good. Charisma? Charisma. Okay. How charismatic are these rhyme ticks? I'm so curious. Well, I am perfectly average. Oh. Okay. I failed that one. Okay. Okay.

Now what we're gonna do is we're gonna bank these. For everybody at home, Yggman got a 15, Vella got a 10, Yolna got an 8, Corvus got a 12, Gaius got a negative 2. All pretty average. All pretty average. What we're gonna do is we're gonna bank these for a minute. Now, I need you. This, we need to get out of the way right now. Everybody who has this illness, we're gonna do a little constitution save to try and fight this off. Okay? If you manage to do that, we're just going to have it be that you were fevered for a few hours, your body managed to fight it off.

I know some of you have Lester Restoration, you might want to break that out. I was just about to ask about that. You can. I believe as resident cleric, you'd probably be first to say, "Hey, this thing." Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got to prepare it, but I don't have it prepared. It gets prepared for the next day. Ah. So I can have it on me, but if we're going timeline wise. Here's the thing. You guys got inspiration. Yeah. I'm sure it'll be great. So everybody who's infected, give me a con saving throw. Who was all infected? I know Yegman. Yegman, Gaius, and Vella.

Okay. So it was a con save? Con save. Damn it. Okay. What are we looking at? Are you willing to tell us what we're looking for? Higher. Higher than 20 or higher than nine? No, no, no. 20 is great. Yegman's fine. Okay. Gaius and Vella, 11 and nine respectively. Would you like to roll your inspiration? I would. Would you like to use that up? Yeah. Okay. Is there another con save down the line for this? Or is this the one? Let me remind you. The first four hours, you're going to have red pus filled welts and a disadvantage on all strength saves and checks. Boyd, is this something that we would kind of know that like overnight, you know, we're going to see like if rest helps this or not?

You're going to, I mean, if you don't shake it off right away, it's going to progress and it's going to get worse. Okay. So I want to cast bless on both Vella and Gaius. So when they do the next saving throw, that would give them a D4 added to whatever that roll is. Now, technically this is simulating them sleeping and we would have already done that, but I'm going to allow it. Okay. And that's where I was asking, like, if it was something that kind of like triggered it or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to allow it because of the thing Ian brought up.

Okay. So do me a favor. Give me another con save. Okay. God damn it. And I mean, if it helps, you get to add a D4 to that. But a 10 would be better than your 11. You get 12. Gaius is going to shake it off. Oh, boy. So, okay, we're going to deal with that. Don't worry about it. So you're going to feel okay. So you guys. Okay, let's deal with this in chronological order. So you are going to get some rest, but there's going to be that. Oh my God, something crawling on me. It's not going to be the most restful rest, right? At some point in the evening, you're all going to catch eyes with another person, probably rolling over at the same time.

It's like, it's okay. It's okay. Like you're looking at them like, is it okay? Do you itch? Do you have anything on you? Like that type of thing. Nothing said. We're all sleeping head to toe. Yeah. Like you guys did block the wind pretty well. And you know, it could be worse. The next day, those, the sores are going to start to scab over a little bit. They're going to look better. And that's a good sign for this illness. So Gaius and Yegman are going to feel, they're going to feel like they're, you know, they're out of the woods for the most part. Like it's like, okay, that didn't take root.

It could have get a lot worse. Thelo on the other hand, there's going to be these almost gelatinous boils, like they're just solid enough to hold a shape, but squishy enough that you know, if you pushed on it, you know what I mean? And you're going to see them kind of like raise up on the fur. It's like, it's like, you know, when a high schooler tries to grow a mustache, but they also have a zit, it's going to be something like that. Like it's, it's yeah. But you know, all over. And there's a part of you that wants to scratch so bad. But don't do it. Because when you do, there's a good chance you'll claw it open.

And then these open wounds can accelerate the disease. So don't do that. Don't do that. Would Yalna have passed that on to Thelo? Yes. Okay. She would have said don't itch. The good news is, no one can catch it by being near you. You know what I mean? Like it's, you're not contagious. So that's pretty cool. And you're just going to feel a bit weaker. You're going to feel drained. And that could just be because, you know, it's a long night. You didn't get a lot of rest. You know, you've been out in the cold for a while now. Here's what I'm going to need from everybody.

I think Ian's right in that this was a bit of a traumatic event, right? I'm going to need a wisdom saving throw from everybody. Now, before you roll. If you roll a 15 or higher, absolutely nothing is going to happen. If you roll... Stop looking at me. If you roll an 11 to 14 somewhere in there, then we're going to have to roll on the short term madness table. Lower than that, it's the long term madness table. If you get a one through five, you have been scarred by this. So, wisdom saving throw, everyone? Wisdom saving throw. Do you know what my wisdom modifier is, Jason?

I don't offhand. It's negative three. Oh, that's not very wise. Gaius. I'm going to get some dirty 20s in there. I'm going to reroll mine. Are you? You don't want that nine? No. I'm scared. Okay. Lisa, you can't be the only one to fit. Please don't do this to me. It's going to look like I'm picking on you. No, I don't. She is... Okay. That's not bad. Can I... Alright, I want to do this proactively. Can I give you my... Does the blast still hit his nose? No, I don't think it does, but can I give you my inspiration to roll again to see if it does get higher? With a negative...

Okay. If you're willing to, I was just going to say, with a negative three, it might be a wash. Yes. I am willing to risk it. For everyone out there, she rolled a ten. Yes. Is this the kind of thing where if I reroll, we take the second roll no matter what? Or the higher? No, no, no. I wouldn't punish you guys like that. One, two... No. I've been having that kind of week. Sorry, that's not on you. Beep beep. How about a flat ten minus three? Oh, no. Let's take that ten. Everyone else, you're out of the woods. You're fine. It was a scar. You know what, I feel like this is fair though, because if she wakes up with these boils...

You know what? It does make sense. You know? And she's just like... I fucking hate this place. This is the worst. You're not... I gotta go back to fucking Thunderspire. Fuck. So, okay. We're going to roll on the indefinite badness table. Oh, no. That's not incurable. Incurable's the worst. Indefinite, though, this is going to stick with you for a while. You're going to need some therapy. We'll deal with that later. Wow. Could I get a D100 from you, Lisa? Please? Ooh. Okay. So that's a D10 percentage. That is. Crushed it. How's that 55 sound? Oh, I love it. I'm just going to be slightly above average for this game, apparently.

The following... This is a mantra that's going to stick with you. Okay. I see no danger in wild animals. The more ferocious they are, the more I want to snuggle them. Oh, hell yeah. Okay. Oh, we're going to have to tie you down, aren't we? Careful. Now, with your track record and bears... We may want to be careful. I feel like Bella is slowly turning into Lisa. Minus the pustules, yeah. Yeah, minus the pustules. I see no danger in wild animals. The... What was it? The furrier the better? No, no, no. The more ferocious the more I want to snuggle them. Ferocious. You know what?

This actually keeps track for me, because the uglier the animal, the more I love it. So the more ferocious an animal... Oh, thanks, Susan. I didn't realize you would type it out for me. I have the book up. There's a big dead kvetch... kvetchy thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, did you see my note? I think I put... What was it? Furry nightmare centaur. Yes. So therefore, she does. She now feels horrible that you skinned her new best friend. I forgot we... I... Oh my god, I forgot we updated it for the book. So that... It doesn't track exactly what's in the book. I think you'd be in a different bracket in the book.

But whatever. Who cares? Yeah, I figured you had updated it, but it is in there, so I just thought we'd use it. Yeah, I'm using an old table from... Well, the table. But it's fine. Oh, it's not so bad. I was really afraid it was going to be something terrible. But, like, wanting to snuggle animals is not terrible. It still could be. [Laughter] Yeah, it's... Honestly, the other one is a bit worse. Yeah. There's going to be, like, the Dawnstar. The one who wanted to snuggle the sea creature. It's so... Slowly the voice creeps in. [Laughter] That's what it is. She's got, like...

Gross. Never mind. That's how Dawnstars look. You have Dawnstar disease? Oh my god. Sorry. But with, like, a little Kansas twang. So it's like a Dawnstar with barbecue sauce. It's going to be great. [Laughter] Alright, I want to see this. [Laughter] Lisa, do it. Wait. Okay. Hang on. So... I'm trying to remember, like, Thorine. Okay. So she was very much, like, kind of a daisily voice and I just want to snuggle the sea creatures. Oh my god, there's the convention. I want to go give it some food and make a campfire. I don't know why it got so off. [Laughter] It's a hard one to stick with because everything in your larynx says "stop." [Laughter] [Grunting] Okay, you kind of have to... [Grunting] Yeah.

Now give me a "yawl" in the... [Laughter] Yawl! Like kind of a... Yawl! I don't know. This is terrible. It's already broken. Everyone, do me a favor. I need one more roll from you for now. Oh my goodness. Stop. It's not as bad. I need a perception check from everyone. Not as bad. I love you, Lisa. Look. I... I have at least a flat one now. Where was this, you asshole? [Laughter] These are all respectable. Alright, the lowest one's a 12 and that's from Corvus. Followed closely by Yelma with a 13. Coming around the bend is... No, okay. We're gonna... Look. [Laughter] You're gonna hear, for the first time, a beating drum.

This... bass-y. You can feel it in your feet riding up your legs. Boom. Boom. Boom. And... It's definitely coming from the north, but this is the first time you've actually heard it. Like, it's like, okay, well, we know it does exist. Not that we doubted anybody, but okay, now we've heard it. We know what... And it's gonna go on for a while. And then the beating's going to get more intermittent. And then eventually... Stop. Corvus just sort of, like, looks up and he takes out his, like, adventure notebook. Where he's been, like, sketching things and stuff for the troop company.

And he writes, like, how long that it lasted for. At the start of it, Yegman would, like, quickly stand up and pull the spear out. Like, almost just being in a natural defensive motion. But then when he notices that nothing's gonna be coming towards him, he's gonna, like, lower his guard. And almost, like, he's putting his ear towards, like, where it's coming from. Like, he's trying to just, I guess, just narrow in what direction it's coming from. Okay. I'm gonna ask for a couple of different checks. Um, okay. Corvus, could you give me just a raw intelligence check?

Just gonna raw it? Raw that intelligence? Just give me a raw dog intelligence check. Whoops, I'm sorry. That was a saving throw. Oh, that's a good thing. 'Cause that's a three. Let's not use, I wanna check that save. Well, hang on. It's the same bonus, so might as well. But that was a save. Um. Just take it, Ian. I'll roll again. I'll roll. Right? I'll roll again. I mean, yeah. I mean, okay. It was the wrong roll. I think you rolled the wrong thing. It says save. I was gonna laugh and go, "That's the save exactly." It almost was. It really almost was. So, um, what did you say that Yegman was doing just a moment ago?

Trying to suss out, like, you know, like maybe how far away it is with general direction, that type of thing? Exactly. Yeah, just trying to get more, I guess, more granular details other than, "Oh, it's here." Of just like, you know, where it is, you know, roughly how far is it, like an immediate danger type of thing. Give me a survival check. Okay. I'm at 14. So you're gonna suss out that... It's a little difficult to tell what size this thing is. It's obviously got to be large to make that kind of racket, basically. But you're also going to notice that it didn't disturb anything around you.

Like, there's mountainous areas behind you and stuff like that. No avalanches, no... And you felt that base in your legs, right? So maybe this is, you know, enchanted or maybe even not hallucinatory, but maybe some sort of illusion, something like that. Jumping over to Corvus. Corvus is going to... If Corvus was noting how long this went on, Corvus is definitely going to notice a pattern. It's almost like contractions, right? It started off real strong, and then it gradually... It's almost like it's trying to convey a message, almost. Like a Morse code, maybe.

Can Jolnia just close her eyes and just try to sense any magic? Sure. I would imagine this is pretty hot off the heels of it. Yeah. Like, as soon as she heard it... So that's an 18. I would think that between Jolnia and Jegman, or Jolyg... Jegjoln? Jegjoln? Jegjoln? Jegjoln. She's 6'7", he's like 3'8". I ship it. Yeah, I mean... I like the difference in height. Jegjoln, though, sounds like some sort of southern eggnog that didn't quite take off. Yeah, it sounds like a drink you'd have at a house party. Right. Eggnog. There ain't no law with Jegjoln or some shit. Ooh!

And it gets taken. But you're going to suss out that this might be a day and a half's travel if you're quick, but Joln is definitely going to pick up some sort of... It's a faint whisper of magic in the air. Like, it is... Imagine if you can throw out a cone of cold. But you could throw one out that's a mile or two wide. Like, by the end of it, it'd be like a "hoooh". But you'd kind of feel a breeze. It'd almost be cozy if it were a hot summer day. That's the kind of magic you're picking up on where it's like, man, I feel like we're on the outskirts of it, but something's there.

Almost like a faint ripple or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. An unrelated question, because you made me think of it. Does cone of cold work here? Because isn't it, like, colder than cone of cold? I mean, like, okay. It works just fine. It just made me think. It's like negative, what, 27 here? If you're trying to use it on any of the beasts out here, I don't think a polar bear is going to give half a shit about cone of cold. If you're using it on each other, maybe. Like, you know. It's magic. It's still magic. Yeah, it's magic. But like, okay, if you had your pick of the litter and you choose cold as the arrow in your quiver, maybe you shouldn't have control of magic because your reasoning skills are not.

You have all these elements to pick from. What if you just have no control? Well, okay. If you really want to blunt force Kaladin your way through this. Yeah, what if Kaladin just appeared here? Kaladin would be at a disadvantage. You mean the one-armed man who can only use cold? You can survive, great. Yeah. Sorry, just random thought. I was like, it is so cold here. The air hurts more than any cold spell you can cast. It's worth asking. Yeah. That would be worse. Yeah. Anyway, your thoughts? I think initially, like after it starts to quiet down, or like after we know like we're no longer hearing it anymore, Yegman would just quickly turn to the group and be like, "The drum.

Did you feel it too?" We felt magic. I know that we have matters to tend to, she gestures towards Vella, who's actively not trying to scratch her boils. Oh, but it feels as if, if I had to guess, a day? Perhaps a day and a half to get to the source? Yegman's gonna whip out his map and try to like work out with a group like where we're at currently and mark that and then mark out like a rough location where we feel it's gonna be. Just so we have that point of reference to go back to. And so probably, he's probably over there like he put it on top of the shield and working with the Alda to like figure out exactly where it was for a few minutes.

And I feel like you'd be able to like get an approximate location, but like any sound that's broadcast over that kind of distance, like it would be basically circle a mile, you know, a mile wide. It's like here, like, you know. Yeah, and that's mainly what it's going to be like is like, okay, we were here and it was coming from this cone of a direction we anticipated to be, you know, somewhere within these broad strokes, you know, just so we have that point of reference and then once we get done probably look back to the group and be like, we're still going to town, right?

Uh, Vel raise your hand. I am. You guys can keep going if you want, but I need to go back. She's just gonna look and sound tired and pathetic. No, I don't think it's safe for one person to go alone. Would you mind if I broke down the risks and rewards of both scenarios. Sure. Is, is that light reacting to your voice in the background? Okay, sorry. I just, I'm distracted today. I'm sorry. I can turn it off. No, no, no, I'm sorry. So now it's distracting me. I apologize. No, you're fine. Um, it's all good though. Obviously turning back would be a fine idea if you want to restock, heal up Vella, and it'd be about, it'd be about a day's travel or so.

Now, uh, the pros obviously, uh, would be, you could take another stab at this. Um, and with a day's travel, I mean the odds of you running into something terrible, it's probably fairly low. You know, you've, you've braved this before. Now you've already had a nasty fight. So the cons would be you'd have to come back, which means you'd have to start the journey all over again, which means you're about two and a half to maybe three days away and you might have to brave the nastiness. Plus, who knows? Now, um, we did a check for Yelna to, you know, that's a good point.

And I didn't even put that together. It is always Lisa's care for getting diseased. This one's so mild though, compared to... Is it? Because like last time her skin didn't actually slough off. This time it's boiling. I mean... She looks worse this time. Uh, well, okay. I'm not even gonna, I have nothing to say to combat that. So, okay. Yelna did a check to see if she knew a bit about this disease. Now, obviously there are treatments for this. And, uh, like you didn't shake it off right away, right? So now you might have a bit of a longer road to kind of have your body naturally fight this off.

However, there is medicine, and if you guys were to grab wild herbs and brew something up, that would be a treatment for this. But that's basically the pros and cons of your situation. Please feel free to discuss. Are the wild herbs in this area? Give me a nature check. Ooh. Isn't this the way... Do I get plus two from my research prep? Uh, yeah, I think that fits in. Yeah. Doo doo doo doo. How about a 30? Oh yeah. Just missed it. Oh, jeez. I was looking for 31. Oh no. Ah, crap. Holy shit with a 30. Okay. So Lisa, you may have just gotten... That's what I was just thinking.

I was like, if you explain this to her, she will be game to keep going. So, uh, not only that the good news is, not only are these herbs generally in the area, they'd be back the way you came to. You don't have to go forward. They'd be pretty plentiful. So finding them would be... you'd almost have to try not to find them. Can I propose something? And usually I'm on the negative with my proposals, but because I got a crit, if I go to try to find these, can I get advantage when trying to find them? I think that's fair. Usually I'm on the negative, so... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what? Yeah, I'm okay with that. Okay, cool. Yeah. Um, so... So during this discussion, it seems like it'd probably be leaning towards, we're not going back to town, we're going to tough it out, we're going to try to find these and proceed forward. Um, Yegan is going to get a little quiet, step back kind of like into the shelter, and then just kind of sit down, cross his legs, and start praying for a little bit. So I feel like this drifts into survival territory, Susan. Okay. Okay, so give me a survival check. Give me with advantage. Alrighty. And we're looking for a 12.

How about a 22? That's fantastic. I said I was looking for 12. No. Should I keep rolling until I get it? No, no. That's fantastic. You're going to find more than enough. So you're going to find triple the dose that, uh, that, that Novella would need, which means should the worst happen and someone gets this again, you'd have two more doses. You're fine. So there's going to be, um, there's going to be sprigs of these, these bluish white kind of, like ferns, and you're going to grab that up and there is a root that almost has a nougaty center, not like gooey nougat, like a three musketeers nougat.

So it's like, come on. Fluffy. Yeah, it's very bland if you bite into it, but like, whose favorite is a root? Honestly, like, listeners at home can't see this, but I'm flicking Jason off. What's in the mind of the scene if you want to know more? I mean, doing it with a whole musketeer on his neck. Yeah, it's weird. It's taken off my finger. Yeah. I need a shot. Hold on, I'll be back. I'm guessing you're going to give this to Bella? Yes. Okay. So, as we're discussing, should we go forward or back? Y'all just kind of looks around and goes, oh. It's like almost like right next to where we're sleeping.

Yeah, no, it would be incredibly easy to find. So essentially you grind this up into a salve and it's like chicken pox. You kind of rub it. Or Bella could rub it. Totally up to you. She might ask Yolna to help her because the idea of like stripping naked and trying to do this herself again is mortifying. Like, I can't tell you how mortifying it is for her because she's a very proud person. So the fact that she's like, can you help me? And she just looks pitiful. So Yolna would go a step further too because she knows how irritating and itchy they are from having read about this.

So before she applies this salve, she will put some snow on there to relieve the itching because cold compresses make the itching go away. And then she'll put it on there. You got plenty of that. There's a way to look at this that might ease Bella's pride. We've been naked twice. Well, yes, everything's easier the second time. But I was going to say that's what helped her get through the first time was that everybody did it. And the fact that actually that Yegman was just like, all right. If he gets a whiff of like, you're uneasy about this, he'd join you and be like, all right, listen, we're all in this together.

Here we go. Just strip naked for moral support. Yeah. So Yegman, no. Yegman, no. Come on, Gormus. Yeah, he'd be slapping you on the back. Come on, kid. In a sense, Bella's getting treated for battle words because these ticks came off of a beast that was slain. You didn't slay it, but someone did. Ticks, ticks, ticks. So they're a worthy fighter. They're kind of like anyway, all depends on how you look at it. That makes Lisa feel better. Good. There you go. So she'd see it that way. So you are you're going to get treated for this. And I'd say within 10 minutes that that that itchiness is going to start to numb and they're going to look a little less red and irritated.

And by the end of the day, there's going to be a noticeable shrinkage. Like, it's going to get better. It's definitely going to get better. OK, does this take care of like the brittle bones part, too? Well, we didn't even get to the brittle bones part. OK, it hadn't settled in that far? No, because, oh, man, if it does, then I we'd have to check for like limb breaks every so many hours or whatever. No, I know. That's why I'm like, she's... Don't have to worry about that. OK. I would say I'd say within four hours we can get rid of that strength modifier stuff, too.

No more symptoms. You're fine. OK, sweet. That's pretty awesome. Now, good rolling season. Honestly. Thank you. I'm so glad that wasn't the flat D20 with disadvantage. Oh, yeah, crap. No, that's coming. Oh, get it ready. So Lisa, you're like the homework kid. I was the homework kid. I'm sorry. One of us would have done it. I mean, yeah, I'm insulted. Do you think I forgot? Oh, no. So look, I have to ask you guys, do you want to head back? Do you want to move forward? What do you want to do? Move forward. I think we're moving forward. OK. Yeah, once all this is said and done, Bella would probably perk up a little bit.

She'd be like, sorry, I'm so pitiful, you guys. Let's go get this thing. And as she's getting dressed, she's like, I don't want to waste any more time out here. And she's like really trying to not. I'm super strong. You are not pitiful. You are strong to have endured. As she tries not to itch. That and like she probably has the same reaction like, I appreciate the compliment, but I'm not used to receiving it. Therefore, thank you. Let's go. She's like, OK. Also, please forget that either any of you have seen me naked. Thank you. She's walking on the flaps. If you're forgetting nakedness, you can you can forget me as well.

Oh, but that is a symbol of friendship. Is it? I mean, but it's a hardship that we have all endured. We might as well remember it. I don't know why, but I have this vision of Corvus just being hung like an ox. Like, like, like no common. Yeah, it's like, oh, no. Like, just I mean, it's too big. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like in the cold state, like it's in just like defiance of God's will. Like, just somehow opposite effects. Right. It's just like a kickstand. They call it three leg Corvus. He's super easy to track in the snow, honestly. We're all adults. Are we? So if we're last time.

DNR, the lowest of hanging fruits. How low does it hang though? Yeah. Aww. There's a little snow apparently. I heard you like disappoint me. You're like, hmm. OK. I'm not sorry. To those of you listening who don't listen to behind the scenes content, I made a pact with Susan and in exchange for her getting to reroll some crit ones on her character's health, she agreed to be the one to roll a d20 with disadvantage for travel today. I took, I would like to point out before someone's like, oh, Susan just did this. I took consensus from the group beforehand. Yeah, we have faith.

Trust me, Susan, if anyone's going to give shit, it's going to be, it's not going to be to you. It's fine. Could be. We agreed. Yeah. We accept the responsibilities. Accept. So say we all. Give me a d20 with disadvantage, please. OK. Oh no. I tried. Here we go. That's a two. Now, I rolled the 20. We got polar bears. You also got a badass look. OK. I'm tired of explaining. Dear Jason, like I maybe this is opposite world and I'll get something great. Maybe, you know what? It's going to rain spears and then a polar bear. I just took a drink of water. I have three doors in front of you.

I ask which one, what the other one would tell me. Now, each one of these is wildly different. I will say that. But I'm going to ask you as a group to, with a consensus, choose door one, two or three. What do these doors look like? Door shift. Are they all wooden? They're all metal. Two or three. Well, that's all we have to go on. Should we roll for it? Yeah, I was about to say, we just roll for it. Like a d6? Oh, d6? Yeah. I roll for it. One to two, three to four, five, six. All right. That sounds good. Two. All right. So door one. Yeah. Score one. OK. Give me a moment.

Do we get to find out what the other two doors are? We can put some dirt back in his lawn this morning. Can we isolate that track, Jason, so I can get that as a ringtone? Just do a clear one. I'll give you a clean one. I'll give you a clean one. He came from somewhere back in his lawn a-go. Still no middle food in a day or day. Amazing. Perfect. So, Bree, when you're listening to this piece, if you can just cut that piece and just send it to me. That one out, grab it, drag it to the desktop, over to the trash. No, no, no, no, no, no. Next time you see us, Ian, if it's Dragon Con or whatever, everyone on the cast is going to have to have a ringtone.

Have fun annoying everyone else. I need to get you saying different things of like, "Answer your phone!" You know, or just, you know, read your text messages and just a bunch of different stuff so it always fits. This is a text message! You're going to be marching for seven hours. That lack of strength that Bella was feeling is going to fade. You're going to kind of feel a little more energized. Got that second wind, second half of the day. Let's go. Now to speak meta for a moment. You guys are about to make DNR history. Oh, no. For nine years. I have fought this.

But there is one D&D creature that I have finally found a place for in Theria. As the, let's just share this. As the wind and snow and maybe a touch of sleet is just, boom, stinging your eyes. Every once in a while, you're going to think you hear an extra pair of footsteps. You're going to think that you see something out of the corner of your eye, but you're going to look and it's like, "Okay, that's just a tree." Something like that. And then, almost appearing out of nowhere, because this weather is so harsh and it's just in your face, you're going to see a large figure.

It almost looks like a tree coming out of the snow and this pounding wind. Except it's almost bird-like in its features. I need everyone to do me a favor and roll initiative, because three snowy owlbears are about to attack the party. Oh, no, Lisa. Yay! [laughter] Oh, yeah. How ferocious do they look? They don't look friendly, but they look like good huggers. They got a lot of padding. Hug them with your horns, it all will be okay. A rushing hug, a goring hug. A goring hug. [laughter] That's a new, like, Volna special. Or Velma special. Wow! Look at these initiative rolls.

It is so nice not having negative four. Oh, come on! Only for this round! That's true. You know, that was a 19 and then it went, "Eh." So that's a negative two for your initiative, which I think means you go tomorrow. You go the next round? Alright, let's roll some NPC initiatives. Oh, they're all clubbed together! So these big... Wait, how? Yeah, they rolled a 10, 9, and 2. No, I was just like, "How did Velma go first?" You know what? You've had a bad day. I think it's time for you to get in there. Oh, this is terrible. I know. From a roleplay perspective, yeah.

How do you want to play this out? [sighs] Um, 'cause I don't know if... Well, 'cause obviously the madness thing... I mean, it's a prompt. ...would not be some... Yeah, it wouldn't be something that she'd be like, "Guys, I have all of a sudden decided that I just hate to fight ugly, ferocious creatures. I'm not gonna do it." So, I feel like she would actually... If we all see them, she'd probably just be like, "Um..." If everybody's writing for comment, I feel like she'd actually just be like, "I don't know what the big deal, Kai. I don't think they're gonna hurt us." You know, and she'd probably just kind of stand there.

Honestly. I mean, unless somebody says, "No, get at it," because I'm like, "Damn it." Yeah, and you're an assassin, so you get all kinds of stuff in your bag first. I know! I would also... I get my sneak attack and advantage, you know. I would also... Like, okay, if this is something that's creeping in, if you want to roll a Wisdom save, and it's an urge you gotta fight off, and maybe the check is very low at first, and then each passing day it gets a little high, or the more ferocious something is, you know... The harder the check is. Like, these things...

Okay, owls already have resting bitch face, right? They're, you know... Yes, they're adorable. So, like, put that head on a bear's butt. I already love it. I'm just saying. Like, it's... Yeah. If you're okay with the saving throw part of it... No! Okay. This is just a prompt. Play it out, how you feel it's fair for your character. Well... Oh, that's a five. That's a five. So, yeah, I feel like she'd actually... Maybe she wouldn't say that, but she would just, like, hesitate. Like... Right, the rest of the party's seeing these giant, lumbering, bitch-faced, like, "I'm gonna fuck you up!" You know, monsters.

And maybe to her it's just not as threatening, so maybe she, like, gets her weapons out and delays her turn. Aww. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, if you'd like, we could play it out as, if these things do prove to be, well, monsters... Yeah, a threat to her compatriots. Yeah. Yeah, you could jump back in. Okay. So, let's hold that action. Uh, Corvus, how do you feel about snowy owl players? Uh, well, if they're anything like polar bears, he's not super keen on them. Just a little chunkier and covered in feathers. Yeah, got those feathers. Um, he's probably gonna stammer something like...

Bears. Um, and then he's going to... Let's see. Give me a sec. Just need to make sure I'm doing this right. 'Cause last time was kind of a mess and I wanna make sure I got it. Hmm. Um... Okay. He's gonna look on his shield and start saying a spell. Um... Be like, "Shadow, wing, blood, and beak, come forth, guardians of the Raven Queen." And, like, wispy green smoke is gonna start, like, coming up off and circle around all of us. And I'm gonna cast Spirit Guardians. So it's self, 15 foot radius. Let me see if I can draw a 15 foot radius. Um, cool. So, yeah. So this, like, wispy green smoke, like, encircles around all of us.

And I can designate a number of creatures who aren't affected by this. And, um, obviously I designate all the party. Um, but it, when the, anything that comes in, the creature's speed is halved in the area when the creature enters it for the first time or starts its turn there. It must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 3d8 radiant damage or half on a successful one. And it is a concentration spell. Um, so this wispy smoke goes around and it begins to form into these ethereal ravens that are, like, flapping and swirling around all of us with the exception of Jallnä and with Corvus at the center.

And, um, he just screams, "Jallnä! Get back in here!" Uh, and that is an action, so I think that is my turn. Well, speaking of Jallnä... Jallnä. Hi! Um, okay. So, Jallnä will take that advice and move. Ha ha! I move. Um, okay. And level 6 artificer is pretty fun. So, starting at 5th level, I can attack twice rather than once. Yeah. Okay, so first, um, so during this journey, Jallnä started out with just simple leather armor, but she's been, like, tinkering with it as she goes along. And as she's been putting little pieces of metal on her forearm, and it started to get more intricate and longer, and now it's taking up the whole of her forearm.

And it's actually starting to glow in that last day, like, glowing this teal light from the inside. And now she's going to lift it up and hold out her palm, and shooting from it, lightning's going to encase her hand, it's going to crackle all around it, and then shoot out at an owlbear. You made an Iron Man glove. I did! Oh, that's awesome! You have repulsor beams. Okay. Yeah! Well, let's do it! Okay, so it's a range attack. 12. Oof, 12's gonna miss. So, it's going to... it's still new, so she's not used to the recoil yet, and it goes a little wide, but that's okay, because she can attack twice.

And the owlbear's face is gonna look like it's judging you the entire time, just *mimics* like, just very, you know, very sour. Okay, and I have a question. Okay. That's just, it's a resting face. Yeah, it is! No, it would have done that if you hit it. Okay, Jason. So, I have this spell called catapult. Okay. And I choose one object weighing 1 to 5 pounds, and that object flies in a straight line 90 feet in a direction I choose before falling, but if I throw an object and it hits something, it does damage. Can I just hold up my javelin and use catapult on it?

Like, I don't throw it? Well, yeah, I guess so, because it's, I mean, it weighs less than 5 pounds. And I'm not casting two spells because lightning launcher is not considered a spell. Okay. So, I'm not casting two spells in the same turn. That's good! Okay, so, what happens is, that one went a little wide, so Yana very quickly reacts, and she takes her javelin off her back, and then holds it next to her shoulder, and then kind of like presses a button on, like, her armor with her other hand, and this, like, slingshot comes out from her elbow to her, like, neck, and she puts the javelin there, and then it just launches out.

So, you're doing a lot of cool shit. I really hope this hits. I hope so too. Oh, 18 will do it! Okay. So, I'm gonna add 3d8 bludgeoning to my 1d6+1 piercing. Oh, wow. Because the catapult adds stamina. Right, right. So, she does a total of 15 damage. 15 ain't bad! Yeah! Yay! I finally gotta use cool artifice or stuff! *laughter* And that's the end of her turn. Alright. Uh, Yegman, you are up. So, Corvus, like, you, like, called out to Yana, right? To, like, come inside? Mhm. Okay, so that was the intelligence check that I rolled at the very beginning, to, like, what do you even know what in the world this is?

Um, but knowing that, he's gonna retreat back just a little bit, still trying to stay near Gaius to make sure everybody gets in. He's gonna do what he can to attack the Alberd itself. Um, so let's do... Let me get something ready... So, he's gonna just kind of, like, reach up in the air and this beam of light, almost like a rod, is gonna form in his hand. And he's just gonna throw it like a normal spear at this target. 14 a lit. Oh, perfect. Um, so I go over damage. He is very... You son of a bitch. So, as he throws that, it makes contact and it gives a little explosion of light.

And then he's gonna reach back to one of the javelins that he has on his back with his other hand and he's gonna try to throw that one as a follow-up. Let's go here. Good. So that one's gonna go wide. Yeah, that's gonna go wide. But you've done 17 damage. I think that... Oh yeah, that one's good. Does their crazy, like, parallel universe spear work with throwing as well? Probably, but he's not good at throwing, so he doesn't want a chance throwing the spear and it, like, going down a canyon of ice or something. Or would that suck? But as soon as he gets done with that, he's going to pull the spear into his primary hand and his bladed war pick into his off-hand.

And almost brace for an attack. Got it. Snowy owlbear number three. Well, I... I don't think it'd be shy. I think it's gonna wander right on up here. Now, is there a penalty for moving into the... Not for moving in. It's... well, its speed is halved, so once it gets in, it doesn't look like that's gonna be a problem. Yeah, he just wants to snuggle up. It's gonna get... But when the creature enters the area for the first time, on a turn, or starts its turn there. So yeah, as soon as it enters, it's gotta make a saving throw. Oh, so yes, there is a... okay. Yeah, sorry.

No! No, no, no. What is it? Save is, he said, stalling for time. And if that is what you think... Slowly he turned. Um... God, fucking... come on. And another thing! I guess I don't have it yet. Um, it is 16. But, like, what's... wisdom save. Okay, cool. Yes, sorry. Got it. No, I was... got it. Boom! Did he make it? Eleven. No. Okay. So then he takes 3d8 radiant damage. Let me see if I can just do this. Got it targeted. Sorry, I'm clicking around. You're fine. Do damage, go. 21 damage! Oh my god. There we go. I don't like that. Can I send it back? It's just... yeah, I don't want this.

It's just these ravens, like, swarming, yeah, and like, just like cutting into the flesh and they're ethereal, so they just like go right through, but somehow they still like make contact and like, tearing bits off. I am so tired of this bird on half-bird violence. We gotta do something about it. We gotta... we gotta come together. Well, you know what? Let's target Yelma then. Let's... because I think this owlbear would look at this like the quickest way to point B, which is Corvus, is through Yelma. Oh no. So... Sorry, Yelma. So let's... I was probably not putting up much of a fight.

So, okay. We get a multi-attack. One with its beak, and then one with its claws. So... one! Beak! That's... oh, wow, shit, yeah, 11 hits. Okay, sorry. Yep. Okay, so... Uh... Oh, max damage! 15! Nice, nice. Good thing I got that extra health. Yep. Let's do claws. I'm sure. I'm not even gonna say it. Ahh! 24! I think that hits. 11 damage! Okay. Owlbear number two. Um, could Velma snap out of it? Okay. Yes, you can. Hold on. I feel like seeing this... yeah, okay. [growling] Not to be complicated, but... Not at all! It's your turn! Take it! Yeah, I feel like seeing this might kind of like...

"Oh shit, that's what we're here to do!" And then she would, um, you know, try and protect Yelma. Yeah, that's a lot of damage. Okay, I'm trying to target it, and it's not going. Control click? Yeah. There we go. I don't know why it wasn't... Apparently I had to click on myself first. So she's gonna get her rapier and attempt to, you know, stab. Stab its fat little body. Go! Yes. With a plus two, because Yelma's right there. Absolutely. Okay. Please... 17 will hit. Oh my god, that's a plus 10! Look at you! Hey! Thank god for finesse weapons. Um, we don't have advantage.

Oh, but I don't need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is within five feet. So I'm gonna put sneak attack on here. So an extra 1d6 of damage. So... Wait. At level six? Yeah, it says once per turn you can do one, an extra... You might get more sneak attack damage. I think you get a 3d6 at this point. Oh. Hang on. Let's look it up together! Yay! Sneak attack 3d6. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah, boy! JK. Do that, dude. So, okay, let's do this first. Let's do the sneak attack, and then I'll just add it on there. So, 3. So damage plus 14. Ooh. So she's gonna try and damage it right in the kidneys.

Yikes. Look at the gold. Uh, wait. Yes, okay, I thought that was a d20 for some reason. Um, that is 24 damage. And, uh, this owlbear's gonna pee blood for, like, the next one. It's gonna be bad. Well, good, 'cause she tried to stab it in the kidney, so... Yeah, that's what... Yeah, and I'm going off that. Okay. Thank you guys for reminding me about extra damage. I mean, you were having such a bad session. I'm glad you turned it around. I'm glad she snapped out of it. Owlbear number two is gonna trundle on up here. Uh, and I guess that's not quite in enough... Like, it's...

My rule is at least half of it, so, like, its toes are in. Like, he's doing little hokey pokey. So, like, he's gonna come in and, like, kinda step in. Uh, and then he's gonna try and, like, do a little peck. Uh... How does he do it? I need a gift on this. Like, it's a little erratic, 'cause, you know, he's got, like, those owl bits. Um... Can I... I'm so sorry to derail, but, like, I really like owls, but their faces... Like, all I wanna do is I want one to fly at me so I can just punch it right in the... Yeah. 'Cause their faces are so flat and, like, the fist just fits so perfectly.

I'm sorry. That's all I can think about. So you wanna punch it? Yeah, but... So much so you wanna punch him in the face. Yeah, it's like that thing where you're like, "Oh, you're so cute. I just wanna eat you alive." Yes. Are you listening, Peter? I wanna smush my dog's face into my face all the time. Just, like, really smush it. So... Let's do eeny, meeny, miny, gaius. Um... So... I knew that was coming. Yeah. Uh... Beak! 19'll hit. Mm-hmm. And... max damage again. 15. Quite an auspicious start for the Owl Bear on the E&R History Wall. Claw? Oh, shit. Crit! No! That is a crit.

Oh, but it isn't. But it isn't! What?! But it isn't. Do it! Yay! Tell the people at the home... At the home? Tell the people at home. At home. Uh, hold on. Let me just... 'Cause I think it's a reaction, but I just wanna double-check and make sure. Um... Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Uh, yep. As a reaction, when a creature, you can see when they're 30 feet, suffers a critical hit, you can turn that hit into a normal hit. Any effects triggered by a critical hit are canceled. So it's still a hit. But there is no critical hit. But it's not a critical hit. Yeah, so like, it's got its little beak and it's doing its peck, but like the ravens are like a blood clot almost, and they're like swarming around, protectively around Gaius as it's like trying to bite him.

Whew, that's hot. Nice. Um, so I'm gonna get that damage out of the way, 'cause it was gonna do... There you go. Okay, so. Um... Thank you. Uh, yeah, no problem. That was... Okay, on the crit table, hobble. It was gonna attack your legs. And maybe... Oh, we would have found out! Yeah, that would have been terrible. Oh, yeah. Scientific research lost. So, uh... Come up with that. That's a good cause. Damn it, damn it, it did the crit damage anyway! I'm gonna take it back. It's fine, it's fine. Ooh! Take 11 off. Ouch! Yeah, let's just take... It's, it's, it's, it's 34. There you go.

Okay. Snowy Owl Bear, number one. It's the last one to join the fight, and I think... Oh, boy, he's just gonna sneak on up and goose Corvus. He's just gonna... He's just gonna... Oh, he's a silly one. Jason! What? I imagine you're glowing, right? Like you just, you know? What's... So, he's definitely in the circle, though. He's, he's gonna be in that circle. So let's, uh, let's do a little wisdom save. 16. Uh, wisdom save. 17! Oh, no. That'll save. That'll save. So he only takes half damage. Half damage? Okay, shit. Hit him a little bit. Better than nothing. Guardians, let me see...

Yeah, I think I got a target. Did that do anything? It just did 12. So I'm gonna reduce that to 6. Yep. Uh, so... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! That's what Corvus is doing. That's like hiding on the shield. Totally. I imagine this thing is just huge, too. It's like a good 7 feet tall, just looming. Uh, so let's, uh, target the Corvus. And let's, uh, a little pecky peck. Woo! 21 will hit. I'll hit. Oh, my God. Almost max damage. 14. These fucking things hit hard. And claws. Oh, God. 18 will miss! He does miss, yeah. Woo! Gaius. We made it to Tamar. 13 hours later.

Um... Okay. I think I better try to hit hard. Or go home. I, yeah. You get a plus too, 'cause you're standing next to Yeg. Oop, oop. Okay. One half of Yolgig. Let's, uh... I just love the 6, 7, and, like, the 4 foot. He's just, like, up to your knee. It's like when Valerie takes pictures with us at Dragon Con. I miss you, Valerie. So, remind me, 'cause I'm new at spellcasting. Mm-hmm. If I have a spell and I cast it at, say, third level, do I only use up one spell slot? You use one third level spell slot. Right. Which I have three of. Yes. Okay, okay, okay. Then let's cast, uh, on Snowy Owl, Owlbear 2, the one who hit me there.

That makes sense. Let's cast, uh, some Moonbeam. Oh! Right on top of his head. Get some World of Warcraft vibes. Just, you know, a little... So, uh... 5 foot radius, so that won't hurt anybody. Um... Do you want me to explain it? Uh, sounds pretty self-explanatory. Sounds like a Moonbeam. Is it Moonbeam? Coming down from the moon. Uh, let's see... 2d10 radiant damage on a failed stave, or half as much damage on a successful one. And I believe you add, uh... What is that? Is that normally a first level spell, but you're casting it at 3? It's a level 2. Ah, so, okay, you're gonna add it.

So I add 1d10. So it's 3d10. But, uh, it's gotta try and save first. That's right. Uh, what's the save? What am I rolling? Con. Con! Sorry. He still gets hurt if he's successful. Piece of shit. I fucking suck. Sorry. Uh, con saving throw, and... Oh, Christ. That's a 22 total. I say you have to reroll it because he's a con joke. You know what? No. I'll do it, 'cause I... The joke stands. The joke stands. It's a solid reference, dammit. You should know this, Susan. You're a lawyer. Oh, Lloyd. I'm just gonna start and end each show going, "I am not a lawyer and I do not represent as such." If the view's expressed by Susan, don't miss out.

Or the soul? So I get the plus, um... Plus 2 on that. Easy, what? Does it take any half damage? It does. It takes half damage. Oh, yeah. You don't get any pluses to that. Just like... No, but just... I thought I got something 'cause I was beside Ryan there. Well, that's for the attack. Yeah. I haven't even rolled that yet. There's an... Isn't it... No, you won't get to roll that because you're casting the moonbeam, which is a saving throw on their end, right? Yeah. Yeah, they're saving, so they roll against your big spellcasting number. Yeah. All you gotta do is roll damage.

Yeah. Yeah, just hit it with damage and we'll just take half of it. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, shit, that's still 11 damage. 22 total, but it's 11 'cause, yeah. So, uh... Doesn't mouse get kind of like wacky dice? Yeah, it freezes midway or something? Like, yeah, they're coming out of the phantom zone or some shit? Yeah. Bonus action. Oh? I'd like to do... I was gonna do this on Yalna, but I think I need to do healing word on myself. That might be a good idea. Yeah. Yalna will understand. So, spellcasting ability modifier, intelligence plus proficiency bonus?

Yes. Wait, shoot. Is your... What's the heal? 'Cause even though it's a bonus action, I think it may still be... Like, you can only cast a spell. Yeah. If it's a first level spell, I don't think you can cast it. Oh. If it's a cancer, you can. Because you cast Moonbeam. Because it... I had the same problem last time. Yeah, you can only cast... When does it say bonus action then? Well, it is a bonus action! Like, okay, let's say you swung with your weapon. Yeah. You could do that spell as a bonus action, you just can't cast two spells that take up slots. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Because slots? Because slots, yeah. Now, if it were a cantrip, well, it's fine. But, yeah. It's not, so okay, I guess I can... You know what, James? I did the exact same thing the last battle we had. Yeah. And I totally got it wrong. And here's the thing, dude. We've all been playing this edition for like four years. I still fuck it up. And I've played many, many sessions with this edition, so don't feel bad. It's all good. It's all good. Okay. Um... I got nowhere to go. Okay. Stay in the circle. Maybe back up so it doesn't come in. And then I'm right beside the other one.

Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. We should be leaving. Yeah. But you know what the good news is, guys? It's time to reroll initiative. And maybe Gaius will be first this time. Oh? Here we go, baby. Boom! Vella! Vella, you are all on last. Oh, sorry. Uh, I think second verse same as the first. Ooh. Maybe doing a little spin action, trying to get the whip around with the rapier. You don't want to wait and see if it calms down? Maybe it'll be more huggable on the second round? I can roll for that. Jesus, God, no. Hit it. You almost lookin' pretty wrecked. Yeah, no.

These things hit like a truck. Please hit it. You maybe think you can't survive a hug. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to try. Plus two rapier. Let's do it. Oh, my goodness. 29 will hit. And because Jana is still there, let's do our sneak attack. So an extra nine. Yeah, yeah. Nine damage. You killed the owlbear. Hey, I will say, this entire time, I've been listening to it on repeat at a very low volume. Yup, that's why I've been sitting here just nodding my head. I wish I had a second attack option, but that's not a rogue thing. That's a warrior thing. So instead, she'll probably...

Oh, my God, no, move. Sidel up next to Corvus and try to vote on owlbear number that one. Okay, thanks. Speaking of Corvus, Corvus, how you feelin'? Very scared and tender. But firstly, he is going to look on his shield and whisper a word of healing. Hey, is that spell a concentration spell? The spear guardians? It is. Because we didn't have you roll concentration when you got hit. That's true. I thought it would do it automatically. It's supposed to? Well, okay, no, it has to be an effect on you. And then it knows you're casting the spell. Stop it. Stop it. Okay.

Yeah, let me roll concentration right now. That's a con save? Is that right? Yes. Okay. I'm beating a 10? Is that what I'm trying to beat? No, you're fine. 15? Okay. You're good. Alright, so I'm going to do a little word of healing on Yalna right behind. And let's see. Thanks, man. Yeah, that word is going to be... Well, I think the word is actually the name of the Raven Queen, like her actual name. Like, we don't have to know what it is, but like that magical spell for the Raven Queen cleric is like to speak her name. And it's actually pronounced... And I just think you're burping.

And it reverberates through the entirety of the continent. So the Yankman stops the battle of the drum. So help me out here. I'm trying to target Yalna, but it's not... I can't seem to get her. Oh, it's probably because... Try now. Nope. Let me zoom in. And maybe it's this? There it is. Ah, the thing was in the way. Yeah, it was like the layers, the image layer. Yes, I bet I can fix that. OK, so healing word. Give me a sec. All right, Yalna, get some heal on Yal. Ooh, seven hit points. And then I'm going to bop this Al'bere one on its snoot. Sure, sure. Got to take this.

We know where it is. Yeah, I'm going to bop it just with the shovel. He pulls it out from off of his pack and just wildly swings like... Just to try and smack it in the face. Bad. You get a plus two to that swing. I do? Why? Because you got a Vella next to you. Oh, Vella? Yeah, look out for the shovel, by the way. And you decapitate Vella. Come on. No. Oh, my God. It's fucking now. There we go. Aye! Twenty three will hit. Got it. OK, here's damage. Six damage. And that's it. Yep. Bonus. OK. Yalna. All right. Yalna is going to hold out her hand again, and this time she's going to hold in her fist her thumb over her three fingers with one finger pointed out like a gun.

And then shooting out of her finger is going to be just a pure like white light, like a blast of energy. And three magic missiles are going to shoot at the owl there. Oh, no, they never miss. I know. That's why I like it. Ah, three, three and four. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah, actually, you do two attacks. But that was a spell, so I'm going to use a cantrip. Then she's going to take out from her satchel. She's going to take out that little bottle with the the bubble blower and she's going to blow a bubble of acid at it. I made that so much less elegant in my head.

So she's going to whip out some acid. Just fucking psssht. Just shout, I'm an inventor. And you just... Pocket acid. Wow, that's a 20. That's a crit 20 on a success. And yeah. Let me just see the TAF damage real quick. It's really no selling your attacks. I imagine that bubble gun, that like multicolored like... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, it misses. So the acid bubble just floats away and then pops in the air and then you see sizzling on the snow. And that's it. Gaius, you get to go before the owlbear in front of you. What would you like to do? Come on, Roots.

You could do it. I get a very different image when you say that. Black hole sun, won't you come? Oh, you're muted. Oh, sorry. And I've been talking the whole time. Oh, no. I gotta stop doing that. Okay, I think I need to heal myself. I think that'd be the smart thing to do. It might be. So since the bonus action is bogus, which one's better cure wounds or healing word? Probably cure wounds. I mean, here's the thing. The bonus action isn't bogus. Well, okay, I guess I could hit him with my... Yeah, you could still make an attack and heal yourself. Bonk him with your staff.

Yeah. All right. All right. I'll bonk him with my staff. There we go. Send them to horny jail. Do I get a modifier on this? You get a plus two. 16 will hit. Yes. Hey, three damage. Wow. Look, that's three damage that wasn't done. It's better than the zero I was going to do. That's right. Okay. And I will use cure wounds. Yeah. Oh, because sorry. What's your word? I'll get this never, but... Hey, it's going to be fine. A few more dozen sessions under your belt, you're going to be the best druid. Are you druid or are you just dru-druish? He doesn't look druish. I target myself.

Let me move this fucking thing. This thing has been the best... Fuck this. You know what? Fuck this thing. Fuck it. There's got to be a way to put us on top of it somehow. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just going to do that though. Fuck it. We're going back to the old ways. Hey, one health. Wow. Wow. I love this game. You need a better healing word. Oh my god. Snowy owlbear1, which thank god is not the one standing in front of James. Snowy owlbear is going to... You know what? We were targeting Corvus. Now I think Bella's in the way. Bella? Bella? Would I call you fucking Bella?

Let's do a little big action against Bella. Oh hang on. That healing word should have been your spellcasting modifier, James. Oh, it didn't add it automatically? Why would it do that? Can I use my uncanny dodge ability on this? The crit? To have? Yeah. It says, okay. I would like to proactively do that. Okay. Let's go back to... Well, maybe I guess. Let's see how much the damage is, but I'd like to probably have it. Yes. Okay. What's your spellcasting modifier, James? Well, if it's intelligence plus proficiency bonus, that would be three. Okay. Is that what it is? Is that what spellcasting ability mod is?

I think yours is wisdom, right? Wisdom is your big one? Well, my intelligence modifier is zero, so if it's wisdom, that'd be five. So you'd have a plus eight on your healing roll? My proficiency bonus is three. Plus five is eight, yeah. So let me adjust that. Awesome. Thank you. Of course. Yes. Okay. So snowy owlbear crit on Bella. We're going to have that damage though. Oh wait, did it crit? Yeah. Can I make it not a crit or does it not matter because we didn't roll on the... Well, I mean, it didn't roll on the table. She dodged though, didn't she? She did dodge it.

Okay. I'm going to make it not a crit. Okay. So we're dodging and not a crit. Dodging and not a crit. Yeah. Okay. I appreciate you rounding down too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a friend to everyone. So we also are going to do this clause though. Hey, twelve's going to miss. Ooh. All right. Snowy owlbear number two. I... Mmm. Yegman. Yegman's short. Let's do beak. Eleven's going to miss. But these clause... Eighteen will hit. Yeah, just barely. Eighteen damage. Oh, that'll bring up yet. Oh, hang on. Is this owlbear one? No. Two. Did owlbear one go? Yes. Oh, he needs to make a save.

That's true. The start of his turn because of being in the... Yes. Wisdom save. Boom. And that save is thirteen. That will not save. Let me get here. Stop targeting me. All right, there we go. Good, good. That's a good start. Okay, here we go. Eleven damage? Half? Yeah. Wait, why is it half? It shouldn't be. Okay. I'm going to add more damage. It should be twenty-two, yeah, because thirteen is not... No, it should be eleven. Just not half of eleven. Oh, sorry. Yes, thank you. No. You're right. Yep. Yegman, go. I'm just over here dancing. So he's going to close his eyes for a split second and just kind of mumble under his breath.

Malora, please go ahead. My strike. And he's going to almost like a little Superman jump just to put a little bit more oomph into his spear strike. And he's going to try to just launch his attack over at this owlbear. Hit. There we go. Target it. And... Nineteen will hit. All righties. And you're using the spear. The spear. Hmm. All right. Now, part of that prayer was Divine Smite. So just before he makes contact, a little bead of light just at the point of this spear is going to manifest. And at a second level, so I need to roll two d8s real quick. Ooh, eleven.

And then roll the attack. So a total of twenty-one damage. Twenty-one damage. Good. Uh, could you do me a favor? Uh-huh. Could you roll a d6? Yes. Five. Five. Okay. Um, yeah. That's a fine bit of damage. Okay. So this little, like, Superman jump just to put the spear in as deep as he can. And then he's going to follow it up with a rake coming from, like, down near his feet up. Almost, like, uppercutting with this Bladed War Pick. Mmm. Oh, do I get the plus two because of being next to him? For the attack. Yeah. Okay. All right. You already had that in. Well, just for the Bladed War Pick.

Ah, yes, yes, yes. Oof. Thirteen will hit, though. Holy shit. Oh my gosh. Wow. Okay. By the way, I know three people out there will call me out for not saying anything. That whole Superman jump thing in wrestling circles is called the Roman Reigns, actually. Okay. There we go. I just know it to put a little bit more power into it, so. Brad Pitt used it in Troy, I believe? Yes, exactly. It was the only notable thing in Troy? Yep, pretty much. It was three hours of my life. I'll never get back. So this Bladed War Pick that kind of does this uppercut towards its jaw is going to make impact and do five damage.

Fantastic. Love it. Anything else? Um, that's it. Uh, it's time to reroll, guys. Boom! Corvus, you're up. Fuck me. I mean, you cannot go. It's fine. Yeah, you could delay your turn. Yeah. I mean, I could, but we need to get some heals out there. Um, okay. Alright, well first things first, I'm gonna try and move around here. Uh, Vella, do I get that bonus if I can, do I have to be like next to you? Does this count as adjacent? You're adjacent. You're fine. Okay. Gotcha, gotcha. Alright, so I'm gonna move that so I can get this circle to come along with. I also want to say you can shift to be on the other side of it and get advantage.

Oh. So you'll be outside of the circle, but you'll have advantage. No, the circle comes with me. Oh, does it? Never mind. Yeah, it's on itself. So anywhere I go, it's the center of the circle. Yeah, so there you go. Um, I'm just trying to get both these little owlbears up in it. Um, so I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this one more again. Just, um, you hear a whisper off of Corvus's lips and like that green smoke sort of like comes out of his mouth and like dissipates into these whirling ravens and he says again, uh, the, the name of the Raven Queen.

Um, and it like wisps over to, uh, to Gaius and give you a little heal, a little healing word. (Makes whirring noises) Eight. There we go. Eight hit points. That's not a lot, but hopefully it'll do. It's good. Thank you. And then I'm gonna try, I'm gonna, I'm just swinging, just swinging this shovel around, just around, around and around. I'm gonna try and bash this, uh, this owlbear on the flank. Okay. Can you just, can you go, can you do this? Sixteen will hit. Exactly what a liar would say. (Laughter) So I'm gonna guess you're gonna attack this owlbear. I'm just gonna attack.

Yeah, attack. Get attacked. And I'm guessing I can't use the same spell twice, right? You can. Can? As long as, hey, as long as you got the slots. Hmm. I don't wanna be a one-trick pony. Although, Moonbeam's good 'cause if they save, it still hurts them. Mm-hmm. Yeah, let's throw it down again. Right on top of this old snowy owlbear, number two. Do you wanna do your save? Can't save? That's right, yeah. Can't save. Boom. Oof, nineteen. Well, I guess we'll do half damage on that then. Half damage is good. That was, yeah, third level. Nine. So nine damage. Ooh, this owlbear ain't looking so hot.

Just gonna put it out there. He looks pretty heavy. He's, he's, he's... Does he look like he needs a hug? I mean, I don't think it would reject a hug. (Laughter) I'm coming. Snowy owlbear, number one. Quick sidebar. Mm-hmm. Did I pick an, uh, an animal form? (Laughter) I don't even remember. I don't think you did. I think it was like, "Yeah, I'll get to that." And we just never came back to it. Well, now I think you have a prime example. Yeah, we come across... A prime reason to study owlbears. Yeah, I'll come across some big, some big animals. Um, owlbear, number one's gotta make a save.

Yep, wisdom save. Here we go. How about that shit? A 21. (Laughter) That'll save. Okay. And fills my heart with joy. (Laughter) It's been a very sing-songy night, honestly. It has. How are we not supposed to dance if you keep singing? It's all about candy and songs. This should be half damage, then, for this, because it's saved. Uh, so yeah. So that's, uh, that's not gonna be great. I don't like it. Well, uh, the owlbear's gonna try and hit Corvus very hard. Uh, like, just ridiculously hard. So, here we go. Jason. What? Yeah, no. Uh, it's all that shovel shit, done with it.

Attack with a beak! 17 will miss. So, it's gonna rear up. It's gonna rear up with its hand. Just gonna, just, just, hand. It's just, you know, not a claw. Uh, here we go. Boom! That'll hit. 22. That'll hit. And then the concentration. Ah, 14. Let me see a concentration run. Yeah, you got it. I imagine it's, like, on top of his shield, just like, "Ahh, ahh, ahh!" And, like, scraping around the side of it. Like that, just on top of it. It's like a raptor, but sillier. 11! I believe that does it, right? I think it's a 10, you get a beak? Yeah, I think it's 10 or above.

I think it's 10, yeah. You're good! But just barely. But just barely. And that will bring up, uh, Yggman. Back to the dancing gnome. So, he left off with this war pick in his, in the, uh, the owlbear. So he's gonna yank that out, stab with the spear again. Because, why not? Yeah, why not? Make sure I'm atta- There we go, targeting. Then, wait, which, which spear? Oh, there we go. And, tiyah! Oh. 14 will hit. Wow, that's a good thing for that modifier, holy shit. Woohoo! Alright. Um, alright, so we're gonna do this. Hey! That'll kill the owlbear. Uh, could I, could I get you to do me a favor and roll a d6, just to see if we trigger that spear?

My pleasure. We're not looking for a 1 or a 2, I'll tell you that. Okay, good, you're fine. This time. Oh, awesome. Um, alright, so, he's going to shift over to the other side of the remaining owlbear. But that would give you advantage! Oh, snap! Um, then he's going to kind of lean in with his bladed war pick, trying to attack down, as he's just trying to anchor it in place. And, I'll, woah! 15 will hit! Alrighty. Go with the offhand damage. That'll kill it. Oh, perfect, okay. Yeah, shit. That will take you out of combat, ladies and gentlemen. We did it, guys! Yay!

Yay, hands party! Four more owlbears! Let's do it. So, Yegman with his bladed war pick still in, just leaves it in, lets go the war pick, and then just drops to his knees for a second, just to kind of catch his breath, and looks back up. Next time, let's not get surrounded, please. Now normally, in the last arc, we would have just wrapped things up there. But I'd like to push on juuuuuuuuuust a little further, if you don't mind. Alright. Now I'm assuming that after this, you take a short rest, and you kind of get some hit points back. And since you've rolled already today, I'm not going to make you do it again for the next day.

But I'm assuming you're going to walk for a while, until dusk, you make camp. You're still carrying many pounds of pelt. And you are going to take a long rest, so let's give that to the party now. We're doing a long rest? At the end of the day, yeah. Oh, gotcha, okay. So, you are going to get up, and at this point, it is the 19th ringway. About halfway through the next day, the scenery is going to start to change, and it's a bit more mountainous here. You're going to be closer to this set of mountains, and there's going to be this cavernous divide between you and the opposite side of the land.

Now luckily, there is this massive bridge in front of you. And let me just give you a map really quickly, just so you can kind of see what's going on here. It's so cold out here. You said massive, and I was still unprepared for this thing to pop up that took up my entire... Yeah, no. To give you an idea, if you zoom in, those little braziers, that would be a large element compared to you. So, this is a huge bridge. And across the way... Oh, so many secrets. So, if you look here, that brazier, that takes up four squares. So this is a big, big bridge. And the choir had no idea this was here?

Well, here's the thing. If... if... if Yolna tries to reach out and kind of like, okay, well, clearly there's some magical stuff going on. She's not going to feel anything. In fact, it's almost as if... it's almost as if that's being dampened somehow by being here. Now, across this bridge, you're going to see this sprawling complex. And its inset, meaning it kind of slopes down. It's not too ridiculous to think that the choir have missed this based on the landscape around them and how far you can see. I mean, with the weather the way it is, it's not like visibility is great.

But you're also going to see two massive doors. And they are slightly ajar. And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night and... Oh, man. We'll dig into it. The next time... next time... next time, Murmur? You tease! You tease! You guys... you guys did good with the D's and D's. That was cool. What's this door? That's all the detail? It's just a... oh, man. Just two huge doors. We're gonna... there's... there's maps. There's... there's things. And this is how you fit a straw into this world. That's how... yeah, I was just gonna do it. It's not the fucking royals, is it?

No. I can't do that twice. No, this is... this is different. You guys are gonna like it. I'm so excited. Are we gonna do a time jump? Is this like another drop tomb? We go on to the next bit, Susan. Trust me. We actually just jump straight into arc five. That's it. Wow. Okay. We're just gonna be future recording. Yep. You're gonna meet Braylon's grandsons? Uh... We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors. Please don't go anywhere. So the longer this arc goes on, the more I'm finding these groups in very interesting places. I hope you guys enjoyed this week's episode.

Just to let you know, if you hadn't heard, we are starting to post TikTok videos and stuff. These are DM and player advice, just short little things instead of mastering the game. We'll be doing that just to be able to answer questions a little more quickly instead of waiting each week to do it. We already told you about Patreon at the beginning of the show, so I won't show that again. Be sure to follow us on social media and send us an email if you have any thoughts at dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. Thank you everybody so much.

Thank you for sharing this with your friends. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next week. Until then, good luck with your games.