Salty Dogs

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Howdy, everybody out there. Welcome to another brand new episode of Dungeons and Randomness. Just a couple of things before we get started. Obviously, April 17 is Theriathon. What is Theriathon, you might be asking out there if you're a new listener. Theriathon is a 12-hour marathon that we do every year to celebrate our anniversary. This year, we're celebrating our ninth anniversary. And we're pulling out all the stops because we didn't get a chance to do Dragon Con this last year. And who knows if we're going to get a chance to do it this year. And we miss seeing you guys.

So here's what we want to do. We want to absolutely pack the chat. We want to get as many of you guys in there as possible. We want to spread the word. We want to be talking to you all day long on April 17. It starts at noon Eastern. And we need one more thing from everyone out there. We want your videos. We want you saying hi to the community. We want to know why you listen to our show. We want you to deliver a message to fellow Therians who might be having a tough time. The last year has been just rough for most of us. So we thought it'd be lovely to, during the breaks of the show, get your videos and string them together and have you be part of Theriathon.

If you do want to make a video, try to keep it around a minute, minute and a half long, somewhere in there, and send it to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. And I'll get editing and try to get those ready for Theriathon. But get them into me as soon as you can. So I'll have time to get everything prepared. On top of that, our t-shirts are regularly on sale at our T-public store. If you go to dandrpodcast.com and look under T-shirt store, we have brand new shirts for you guys to check out. Obviously, the Jerry Sausage shirt went up a couple of weeks ago.

And we're working on some new stuff as well. If you have any suggestions for t-shirts, send us a message. Let us know. We'll get on it. And of course, it's time to thank some patrons. Everybody out there who subscribes to our Patreon, we can't thank you enough, obviously. Our patrons in the $20 tier and up, we always try to give a shout out to at the beginning of the show, starting with Jane Dell, who's a godlike player. Our Monster Mash group, Alex Swindle, Caboose, Irish, Wristwatch, Nikhil Sitter, Philip, and Zudamani. Our Patreon group, too, Hannes, Jonathan, Laurie, Mark Sexton, Nick Bortel, Rob Taylor, and of course, Ryan Haywood.

The rest of Patreon group one, it's Brian Smith, David Sheik, Dvorfgen, Mike Casalvara, and Ruben Flores. In the Vectness Chosen tier, it's James, Jason, Joel Johansen, or Johansen? Correct me if I'm wrong. Mandy, Mark Mathis, Nick Bernard, Samuel Carlton, and Taylor Omni. And finally, in the Arcane tier, $20, Alex Beck, Brandon McKenna, Brandon Riehek, Eric Villarito, and Michael Jay. We're always trying to get new stuff out there. For those of you who haven't listened to the new Vampire, the Masquerade episode, the New Bloods, I highly recommend it.

That was the most fun I've had recording one of the Patreon Extra games in quite a while. And I was a little worried that we wouldn't be able to return to form, and I feel like we did. I'm going to stop rambling and get out of your way. Obviously, we have a couple of sponsors, and we need to hear from them so we can help keep the lights on. If you want to listen to an ad free version of the show, obviously it's on our Patreon. You can go check it out at patreon.com/dandr. Let's hear from our sponsors. We'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and it is ourselves.

I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, starting with Michael. Hey, I'm Michael, and I play the impossible, impenetrable, unstoppable Takkar for the right. And Alex. Hi, I'm Alex. I play Tobin, the tiefling monk. And Karen. Hi, I'm Karen, and I play Delphine Gray, the elven cleric. Never gets any easier. And should I stop this t-shirts pending? Mandy. Hi, guys, this is Mandy, and I play Li Argent, the human fighter that may have made a mistake, but I kind of still stand by it. And I think I did nothing wrong. May have made a mistake, but I did nothing wrong.

That's-- yeah. It's fine. It'll be great. It'll be fine. OK. Last time-- He muted. So last time, a lot of stuff happened. Let's focus on the good first, right? You guys made some connections around town. You may have found some folks who would make some pretty decent weapons at a pretty good price that you guys would benefit from. One of you got an offer to accompany a lovely gentleman to a villa. I do remember he was fairly good looking. Oh, yes, quite. I believe he was an eight, a business owner, kind of swarthy, kind of-- Swallowful. Yeah, but he was a Scorpio, so-- Yeah.

I'm a Scorpio. That doesn't work. My husband's a Scorpio. Yeah, it's all mine. It's all mine. I'm just going off all the astrology TikToks that I've seen. Oh, my-- I've been on a Zodiac TikTok way too much. Don't hold. I didn't even know that was a thing. There's a TikTok for everything. That's fair. That's fair. Yeah. I guess we should focus on the bad. What's bad? So you guys split up to find out what would be better for your crew, much like looking for a good printer to do your book or your comic book or whatever. You guys were looking for someone to manufacture your weapons so that you can sell them at a hiked up price.

Now, the better option was Roland and Wealth in terms of quality and some responsibility and assurance. The less good option was-- Drugs. Yeah, the less good option was kind of the Chinese wish slash the knockoff shop run by a drug dealer who had a nice little chat with Tuck and introduced him to the wonderful world of Boom Rocks. Seems legit. So here's what I'd like to do. Let me ask-- OK, Mandy, Michael, was there anything else in your line of questioning that you had for this individual? Like, you never really got around to asking about weapons. We can totally play the rest of that out, or we can skip forward a little bit ahead in time.

Don't think we would have a question about weapons, but seeing him give drugs, we would be first alarmed that Tuck took it. She was kind of watching under the impression that, oh, look, he'll be getting something. Oh, that doesn't look like anything I've seen. And oh, look, he took it. Oh. Oh, where did you get that? Just kind of like-- where's that-- where is that from? Can we get more if needed? Yes. Oh, quite. So OK, let's have this little conversation. So the guy's going to watch Tuck. I believe the gentleman's name was Scumbag. I'm going to-- I'm going to-- I think I had ideas, but then I took that.

So then I have-- It's a street name. Yeah, I have everything now. So he's going to-- he's going to watch Tuck take it. It's like, yeah, man, that'll help. That'll help. That'll get you right. Don't worry about it. And he's going to offer Tuck. Now, we've discussed how good Tuck feels in the moment. I could set you up with two doses a day. I got a week's supply right now. And he's kind of like gritting his teeth just a little bit. OK, give it to me. Oh my god. Well, I need to see gold first. I can't just give it to you. Why? Because this ain't a charity, man. Just give-- and he's going to almost halfheartedly reach for pouches on Tuck's belt, like halfheartedly, just kind of like-- but then just think better of it.

He's like, sorry, I get grabby when-- I need at least 700 gold. Nah, I don't want to give you 700. Remember, zero wisdom. Yes, no. No, that's fine. But then I'm not giving you any more. But do I need more? I'm great. I mean, you're great now. We're all great now. You said-- you came in. You said you-- I gave you medicine. You're going to need more medicine. The guy's a little-- I don't care about the dose now. But the guy's going to look at Lee. Is he stupid? Lee will just be watching this kind of like dawning horror a little bit and just kind of having her hand to her forehead like, oh, I got to tell the boss about this.

And just, yes, yes, he is a little stupid. And she'll just kind of like interject and say, turn your attention to me. Don't talk to the giant minotaur who's hopped up on something. Has-- would Lee know what boom rocks-- because it's rare, right? She knows drugs probably from being a criminal, but this is-- I think, OK, it's rare in a sense of seeing it out and about because of the level of criminality because-- but like, OK, if you and I know what the concept of heroin is-- I've never seen heroin in real life, but it comes up very rarely in my profession.

So I think that Dragon Con parties get wild. But look, I've been invited to the whole creators lounge thing. I choose to hang out with you guys. Give me a wisdom check. Because it'll be like streetwise, like, you know, how savvy are you? Did you take dare in school? I don't know. Let's see. Oh. Oh, yeah, you were-- you had the little lion t-shirt and everything. You were into it. So she'll just be like, oh, that's not what I was thinking you were going to-- and just-- first of all, he can come get more later if he needs. I'm not going to watch him then. You're not going to give any more to him now.

But you said 700 gold for two doses? No, no, no, two doses a day for a week. It's a week's supply. Supply, 700. That's pretty hefty. That's a better deal than you're going to find. Where do you get it from? Why the fuck would I tell you where I get it from? I mean, do you have anything else? That's a little-- this is a little heavy for me, but-- He's like, OK, I think at first he's a little taken aback. It's like, you don't just-- it's like, OK, it's like, you don't just ask a girl her age. It's like, you don't ask a drug dealer what their source is. That's considered gauche.

But if you-- it's like, do you have anything else? That little eyebrow is like, hmm. Well, yeah. Yeah. Are you buying? What are you looking for? It might be. I mean, we're trying to branch out a little bit. You might be interested. And then she kind of looks at Tuck. We might have to come back later, because you gave my friend something pretty strong, and I think I need to get him out of here. But you give good deals if we need to have-- if we need to purchase a large amount. Well, this took a turn I wasn't expecting. Yeah. I think we could hook something up.

You tell me what you're interested in, and I'll check with my sources. But I think I can get you a pretty good deal if you're looking to sell. It might be. We are currently in a deal that we can't quite break out of, so we need to find other venues. And I don't know. This might be a good one. I'll have to talk to my boss. But we have coin if you give us a good deal. So I'm just going to give him the glare of, don't fuck with us. And there's going to be-- I think he'd even more-- like, he already locked the doors and shit. But he'd kind of look around, like, are you fucking with me, lady?

It's like, OK, OK. Look, if you come back after closing, we can meet up. We could talk someplace a little more private. OK. I'll get my boss, and we'll talk. But for now, let me get this guy out of here. There's an old abandoned temple. It's on the outskirts to the west. You can-- yeah, you can meet me there. Thank you. And she will just kind of nod her head, bro nod, and then just look at talk like the eye, and just say, move her head to the door. Like, let's go. I picture Tuck's eyes just super dilated, just huge. Oh, yeah. Where are we going? We're going to go find the boss and your buddy.

Tobin needs to know. Yes, let's go. Yes, he definitely needs to know. And then we'll have a bit of a talk about recreational drugs during job hours. Whatever you said, sure. I am going to roll a die really quickly just to see something. On your way out of here, you're going to be walking on the street. It's kind of crowded. Like, there's a lot of people out and about. And I'd say it lacks-- it lacks that-- it lacks the infrastructure of a major city and stuff like that. So you'll see people walking on both sides of the street. You'll see it's a little-- just doesn't even have the rule set of a mall or something.

People are just bumping into each other. So I would say this half-elf man is going to bump into what essentially would be Tuck's elbow slash upper forearm here, this area, and kind of bounce off of him and say, hey, watch it, asshole. No. I punch him. Oh. You're going to do so. Could you do me a favor? You're such an instigator. Do me a favor. Give me-- give me-- just give me an unarmed swing. And of course, you'd have advantage. Oh my god. [INTERPOSING VOICES] Oh, do I even-- do I even have that? What is-- I mean, we could add it. I think it's just your strength modifier.

I mean, you're proficient with fists, I would imagine. Like, you just don't have weapons. Like, yeah, I don't know. So let's see here. So if we made a little unarmed strike. I just really love Mandy reprimanding him for doing drugs and company time. I mean, yeah, it's like, you don't do that on company time. Do that later. Like, you weren't supposed to be the babysitter. [LAUGHTER] Do me a favor. Give me an unarmed strike here. Just give me an unarmed swing. I need to click advantage or do we all do it automatically? It should do it automatically. Let's see.

All right. Yep. Yeah, baby. Yep. God. Well, that's a 20. You will hit this man. And I don't think he was ready for you to swing on him. I think in his head, it's like, look, we're in town. We're-- you know, what are you going to do? Fuck you. Boom. He is knocked out, unconscious, because he's totally not ready. It's kind of a sucker punch. But honestly, it's cause and effect. If anybody were to ask, it's like, yeah, you were a dick. And he is going to land face down in the mud. There are guards. And I think we need to roll to see if they would notice that, to see if any guards are right there in the area.

Obviously, this is physical violence. It's a problem, right? So let's see. Here's the thing. There aren't enough guards, though, I would say. I'd say 14 or higher that they're going to notice. That, too, is a 20. Yes, go. Yes. Are they scared of, like, should I knowingly see it and ignore it? That's the question I want. I think you're a big lad, as they would say in the UK. The problem is these guys are used to dealing with lion folk, who are also quite large. So they-- Yeah, so they're probably-- it's like, oh, god, OK. So you're probably going to get a couple of guards come over.

It's like just very much like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the meaning of this? Because I'd say they were probably like talking to each other across the alleyway or something like that. And it's like, so anyway, I says to Mabel, I says, and then boom, you just knocked the fuck out of this guy. Because it would happen so fast. There was no escalation. There was, boop, watch it, asshole. Oh, like he's down. Like, there's no-- so they would rush over after that, yes. I think Lee has kind of been on the swivel just like, oh, no, this guy's on-- hopped up, I got to watch.

And then just like when she was looking away, punched to the face of some-- she's like, god damn it. And she's going to see the guards coming. And she'll be like, oh, and just like, whoa, I'm sorry. This guy, he tried-- he bumped into my friend. And he tried to pickpocket him. So of course, he got-- my friend is very good and noticed. And he punched him out. I need two rolls. Give me a deception check, firstly. OK. That's really good. OK. So these guys-- these guys are-- like still, that's not how we handle problems here. We're trying to be a bit more civilized than that.

It's like, oh, all right. He's going to motion for his friend. It's like, all right, pick him up. He's going to fucking suffocate in the dirt. That's how Hendrix died. Let's go. So like, you know, we're going to-- we're going to-- we're going to roll him over so he's not face down. And there's just one more thing before they're going to let you go. You remember I said that there were, you know, physical signs that Tuck may be impaired. I'm going to have the guard roll a perception check to see if he would notice. This is a drug test. It could be-- it could be, yeah, a little walk this line, Tuck your nose.

He's getting drug tested. Yeah, maybe. OK, so here we go. So this is just the guard looking you up and down after it, you know, it's like-- OK, that's a 10. I'd say that's a little low. So I think it's more like, look, we're understaffed as it is. Just that's not how we handle problems here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry this man tried to pickpocket you. We'll take care of him. Meanwhile, this guy is probably missing like three teeth. And they're just like dead weight, just like dragging him up out of the mud. And then they're going to arrest him and take him away. And-- As if they should, yes.

It's like, all right, just be on your way. Go, go. And we is just like, thank you. I'm so sorry, my friend. He's just kind of like doing a very subtle like, not too bright, not too bright, not a little loose in the head. And then we'll just look at Tuck and just kind of glare. And it's like, Tuck, we have to go find Tobin. Focus on that. Just point him straight towards where we think Delphine and Tobin are and just watching for anybody that comes close. It's like, steer away from people, away from buildings, away from shiny objects. Go. Let's cut back to-- and I'm just lettering things here-- the A-Team.

It's not based on anything other than the order in which that we tackled the scenes. But-- Every my life. Every my life have I been called the A-Team for anything. Well, look what you're being compared to. Um-- Oh, wow. Just look. So many apart shots tonight. It's vicious tonight. It's vicious. So much venom. It's not-- no venom? None at all? Let's just cut back to you two. What would the general vibe be leaving this place? Because I would imagine you've both done your due diligence, you've done some homework, and now you're meeting up again. But on your way back, what would the vibe be?

How would you feel generally about the potential deal? Ah, I think Tobin would like look to the Captain Delphine and just egg her on as they're walking. So I guess I get to retire early if you're going to go spend time in a villa. I think Delphine's going to get a little red about that. Like, it's definitely something she's considering. But at the same time, it's like, oh, this was kind of an awkward situation. She's just going to be like, you know, it's just-- it's an offer on the table, and I think we should definitely consider it. I mean, he's going to like look at her with a big shit-eating grin.

Shit-eating grin. We or you? I mean, I didn't get invited to a villa. I mean, I think it's good for the entire company, right? He nods as they're walking. Yeah, entire company, you know? We'll stay back, make sure Jerry doesn't burn the ship again, and you'll be in a villa eating fruits and all kinds of meats and cheeses and wines, presumably naked, with, you know, that guy, that handsome guy, might I add, also naked. Is there something you want? Do you want anything? No, no, no, no, no. Cabin, look, I'm just saying. I've seen people like that, you know, people in positions of power, and they like to get what they want.

Just something about them didn't sit well with me. But you're the cabin, and whatever you decide, we follow. And I'm not being paid for my brains. I'm being paid for these. And he holds up his fists. Do you think that as soon as he gets what he wants, he's not going to follow up on his end of the bargain? Oh, no, I think he'll follow up. I'm fairly certain you'll be able to have some very strenuous negotiations and make sure that everything falls in place. Yeah, I was talking about the weapons. Yeah, me too. [LAUGHTER] I don't know where to go now. I don't know what to go for.

Why is it always Karen? Why is it-- like, it seems to be Karen a lot that this happens to. I think-- You made the guy. Yeah, but I mean, I think at a certain point, Karen's going to ask herself what she's doing to, I don't know, NPCs. I don't know. I'm just admitting. Wow. [LAUGHTER] I literally went there for a business deal. I didn't even ask if he was pretty. That was all Mandy. That's true. Mandy instigated a bit, yeah. Just clap the costumes. I know. I can't back out, right? I can't back out. So-- In 2D. Oh. [LAUGHTER] The four of you are going to meet up.

And man, I'd say the look on both teams' faces say, we have a lot to talk about, maybe in different ways, but they both say the same thing. So we all see each other. Are we on the boat, or like in a town square? Where do we meet? I picture this as like middle of town type of thing. Like the businesses are on not opposite ends, but they're away from you. Oh. Whoa. You have to-- I just lost my ball. Yeah, one of your things fell down, because the ghost knocked it off. Yeah. OK. Well, if I die, I guess we know what happened. So-- Fuck, is this like-- yeah, yeah, yeah.

Business aren't-- yeah, they're away from each other. So if we're in this square, and I see Tuck and Lee coming up, and at first everything is fine, and then they get closer, and I see his eyes, and he's got those like Homer Simpson dilation, Mr. Burns eyes, Tobin's expression goes from cheerful to like concern, and then to anger. And he'll walk up to Tuck, hey, pal. Hey. You look different. I am. I am amazing. Yeah, you look like it. And he obviously-- it's the sarcasm behind the words. He's going to-- let me see your face here for a second. He's going to like wave his head, like, you know, put your head down here, because you're much taller than I am.

I'll do it. And he's going to like grab your face-- like a doctor, almost like a doctor grabbing, you know, like, let me just turn his head sideways, lift it up. Did you drink anything, or-- what? I didn't drink anything. OK. He's going to look to Lee. What the hell's wrong with-- what's wrong with him? Have you had the drug talk with your friend? The drug talk? What do you mean the drug talk? This boy decided it was a good idea to take something that was given to him. As soon as it was handed, put it into his hand. I was amused at first that he was interacting with this gentleman named Scumbag.

But then he decided to take it while we're on a job. What's-- wait, wait, hold on. Tuck, what did you take? What makes-- what's making you feel good right now, buddy? I'd like to imagine that one of the little ghost things shows up and appears and disappears. I was like, I don't care about that anymore. Did we see it, too? Was he in his-- I mean, no, because it doesn't exist. It's in his head. Like, it's paranoia. It's like-- Because it's still there for three days, I don't know, for a while. So Jovan sees him do this, looks to Lee and Captain, and says, yeah, we got to sober him up.

He's no good to us like this. I'm amazing. I just punched out a dude. Great, awesome, buddy. That's-- he's going to go like pat him on the back. Hell yeah. Mandy caught him stealing from me, which I totally believed as well. OK, Mandy. Or Lee. You called her Mandy. You called her Mandy. Lee. I mean-- I mean-- I mean to say that Tuck actually believes that Mandy-- that-- That Mandy came into this world. Tuck broke dad. Shit, he's really far gone, guys. Oh, no. Oh, no. You get paired between worlds. I can pierce the veil. Lee saw that this guy was going to steal from me.

And then he hit me, just told me some things, and I just hit him in the face. The guards took him away. It was great. OK. Lee is just shaking her head, just-- OK. I just want to be clear. There's nobody after you. I know. Everything's good. Other than the drug thing. We might have something to talk about after this boy is sobered up a little, though I-- this stuff is some bad news. I-- this-- and she just kind of winces. Maybe we-- we might want-- we might want to go back to the ship now. Tobin's going to, like, put his hand on Tuck's back. You know what you need, buddy?

A nice, big sandwich. How's that sound? How does that sound? Yeah. Yeah. OK. Haven't eaten. It's been a while. Yeah. Let me-- you know what? Let me make you one. Let's go back to the ship. I'm going to make you one. Ooh. Yeah, it's been a while. I know. And he'll look. All right. I just get free food given to me. This is amazing. Yeah. You are such a good friend. Tuck, you're a good friend. He's going to look to Lee. What the fuck did he take? And he's just, like, you know, looking at her, like, super confused. And he'll look to the captain and Lee and kind of be, like, motioning, hey, let's go.

Let's get the hell out of here. And if there's nobody nearby, she'll just stand her breath in the boom rocks and just look to-- Tobin coughs. [COUGHING] And we will look to Dopey and just-- Sorry, boss. [CLEARING THROAT] Let's-- yeah, we should definitely move this back to the ship. I will try and-- if I, like, see-- because the discussion of him bumping into someone and then basically knocking him out cold, Tobin's going to try and play-- you know this crazy taxi? It's called Crazy Tuck. And I'm trying to guide him through the crowd back to the ship without hitting anyone, just like, OK, OK.

Pass the Pizza Hut and the KFC. Yep. Doing a 360 spin in midair. Yep. Don't even go near the Waffle House. Shoulder buttons to do little turns. Fucking offspring is just blaring those two songs over and over. That's where all the game budget went. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's just you piloting Tuck. OK. That's what passed for a game back then. I love it. Like, that's-- You know what? Mechanically, it was solid. It was amazing. You get two levels, two songs. We're done here. That's it. Go for it. 60 bucks on a $300 system. Go. [LAUGHTER] OK.

So it's going to take you a little bit to get back to the ship. So let's say it's around 7 PM or so, right? This stuff is going to wear off at around midnight. Now-- God. It's going to-- so Tuck's going to come down, and then we're going to do some rolls and stuff like that. But the withdrawal symptoms don't start immediately, obviously. But we'll deal with all that even-- you know what I mean? Maybe that won't even be a thing, right? So you get back to the ship, and the crew is diligently scrubbing stuff down. They're repairing the kitchen. They're using a couple of local builders.

They've taken some of that upon themselves to go out and find some people that-- it's like, hey, Captain really wants this kitchen fixed. Oh, I can't make him a sandwich for a kitchen. I mean, there's still food. It's just, you know, like they're trying to get this done as quickly as possible. They're really trying to score some brownie points, basically. It's like, look, we made a mess. We're cleaning up the mess. Boom. We got this. Can we get one of those new sub-zero fridges? Ooh. Is that in the budget? I actually have not seen a budget for this. Oh. Never mind.

I was not consulted. No. Well, look, OK. You got villa money, maybe. So let's see. Now let's do this. Let's see how good-- let's see how good the crew was at selecting people to come aboard and work on this. Like, they're out and about. They're a tiny bit desperate because they really want-- like, I'd say as soon as you left the ship, Jerry spearheaded a campaign to fix this kitchen. He feels terrible. You never want to hear Jerry spearhead anything. So this is going to be good. So let's see. Maybe he's going to fucking nail this. An eight. Not the worst. Typical Jerry.

I think Jerry's going to go out and find some people who are less than reputable. So when you get back to the ship, you're going to see-- you're going to see the crew, your crew, working on stuff. And the ship looks nice. Like, they've had hours and hours to clean stuff up, fix it, restock stuff. Dry goods are stocked up. It's looking nice. And then you're going to see a bunch of people you do not know who look less than professional, I would say. It's going to be a couple of-- there's going to be a man and a woman who are gnomes. And they've already started work.

And there's a bunch of people bringing lumber in. They're bringing metal in and stuff like that. The metal is being shaped on the deck. Like, they're heating metal and hammering it. So you're going to come up the plank to the ship and just-- you're just like, dang, dang, dang, dang. There's a bunch of very, very large people just hammering and moving lumber and stuff like that. They're heading downstairs below deck. And I'd say all in all, you're going to see eight people, including-- not including-- the two gnomes. And the gnomes are directing people right and left.

And can I get a perception check just to see if you can-- I feel terrible. Every time you walk into a scene, I feel like it's the worst thing I've ever seen. I feel terrible. Every time you walk into a scene, I feel like it's the worst possible thing that could be happening. I'm just thinking, who is supervising these random ten people on my ship? Yeah, everyone. My guess is Adelbert. That's what I'm going to guess. It better be fucking Adelbert. It's going to be Adelbert. He's going to be like, "I took the liberty of hiring a gnath." [laughter] Holy shit, Tuck. [laughter] Oh my god. [laughter] It fits.

Yeah. I love this. That's what Jack of all trades? Holy crap. Yeah, that's what all his new stuff-- That's bad. That's a one, everybody at home. From a four. [laughter] Minus three. Oh yeah. Jason's writing notes, so this should be not great. It's just a lot. There's a lot that's about to happen. I don't like that. Yeah, Adelbert is going to-- You're going to see him in the crowd, and he's got an expression that I would say Delphine and Lee instantly recognize. Kind of like, "Eh." Like I'm in over my head. I've made mistakes. Oh god. So he's going to lock eyes with Delphine, and there's two emotions that flash across his face instantly.

One of, "Oh no, the parents are home." And then it's like, "Eh." He's going to try and spit shine this real quick. It's like, "Eh." It gets caught in his throat, and just about then, behind Delphine, there's going to be two large moles, and they're going to come up behind Delphine and almost run into her. It's like, "Watch your back," and just kind of move around, and then they're going to head down below deck with two large buckets. These guys are about their work. That's good. I think they're union. [laughter] They're very focused. [laughter] Delphine is going to make eye contact with Adelbert, and raise the highest eyebrow, and let him dig his own grave.

The clouds part as Delphine's eyebrow stretches into the sky. You thought that the rock's eyebrow, the people's eyebrow, was high. This one extends beyond the hairline. [laughter] We've entered anime territory as well. Oh, God. Oh, my. Adelbert is going to be a bit flustered. "Hello, Captain." "Well, we had the idea. Jerry had the idea to, while we're in port, to maybe hire some locals to help us fix this kitchen. It's going well, although the cost seems to be a bit more than what we originally were quoted, just because of the extent of the damage to the structure of the kitchen itself.

It's all very complicated." "He would continue to talk for minutes on end, unless Delphine cuts him off at some point." "I think she'd let him go on for maybe a minute or two, and then just be like, 'So, was anybody going to confer with me about this before we got to work on it?'" "Well, the prevailing knowledge while you were gone was we would do some fishing, and maybe dry our own goods and save some money on food so that we could put that budget back into the kitchen. However, that has not gone very well either. But let's focus on the kitchen right now." "Who is supervising these people going on and off my ship?" "He's going to point to the two gnomes, looking at a scroll with blueprints on it, and just kind of pointing at people and telling them, 'You there, up there, over there,' that type of thing." "Who are they?" "They are the foremen.

I don't know what the plural of foreman is." "I think we have a little bit of a misunderstanding. Who from our crew is supervising the people who are walking on and off my ship?" "That would have been Jerry. Jerry, however, got sick. In the attempt to try to fish, we ate the wrong fish. Jerry is currently in sickbay, being tended to." "And now you're supervising?" "Well, that would be you, ma'am. You're back." "The biggest sigh." "The sails get full from the side." "Just about then, two moles are going to go over to your center mast, and they are going to start to strike it with hand axes." "Excuse me!

What are you doing?" "You know when someone does a quick walk with very long strides?" "They're probably going to get a few strikes in before they..." "What? Like what? What's the... And the two gnomes are going to approach you." "Hey! Mind your own business! Leave our workers alone!" "They're striking down my mast! This is an operational ship! How am I supposed to run my ship without this?" "We're going to replace it! Calm down! What we want to do is ventilate the kitchen so this doesn't happen again. We get rid of the center mast, we use the hole from that...

It's like this is your first time on a ship!" "Tobin is going to look at Delphine, and he's going to say, 'You know, we could always sweat the drugs out of tuck.'" "And he's going to like... He'll be clenching... He'll be rubbing his fist while he's clenching it, looking at the moles and then the gnomes, and he's like, 'As far as I understand, they're trespassing.'" "She's going to give him the most exasperated look. Maybe the first instinct is not violence, even though it is running through her head!" "She's going to turn to the gnomes and say, 'This is my ship!

I cannot approve any of this!'" "So, Atina, the female gnome, was the one talking, and Thek, who is the male gnome, is instantly going to start shaking his head. 'No, no, no, you're not going to renege on this deal. We have a signed work order right here, and we've already started. We're not getting stiffed. We already have building materials and labor wrapped up into this. We've been here for hours." "So why don't you get some other building material for, instead of chopping down, my center mask? I don't care about ventilation." "All right, but we're just going to be back here another few weeks from now when the fire happens again.

I thought you'd just want the job done right. I... I'm sorry. Guys! No more masks! It's fine." And I think Lee holds her hand out and is like, "Let me see that work order." "Oh, yeah, he would... he would... yeah, he's going to open it up and there... give... give... How... how often would you say Lee deals with slightly complex paperwork?" "Not often with complex ones. Probably simple ones. Just like, you know, take us over there. We'll pay you so much gold, blah, blah, blah thing." "So this is going to unroll. It's a... it's just a simple scroll. And at the top, it's like, okay, we agree to, you know, replace your kitchen, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then as you go down, the print's going to get finer and finer and finer until you need... you need the assistance of spells to see what is in the fine print. But at the bottom of it all, Jerry is written on the signature line and, uh, yeah, he's going to happily... he's going to happily hand it over to you. It's like, we gave an estimate of 1200 gold to fix all the damage in the kitchen. But I will admit there was some structural damage that we could not foresee. This is going to end up probably costing you around 2500 to three grand. And that's if you don't want a tip, which, you know, it's customary and to lower, but that's only 15% gratuity.

I believe it's going to look at this thing and look at the signature of Jerry's. You know, this ship does not belong to this individual. This individual did not have the right to sign this work order. He would be the one paying you. He does not have the money for this. You might want to take it with him. Atina is going to start to rub her temples. Oh, man. Um... We really don't want to have to involve our collections department. But, again, we've already started and we just... look, just pay your bill. That's all. Just pay your bill. You know, that's up to Jerry.

She'll look to Edd- Edd- Albert. Get Jerry up here. You will send your collections agency to this individual. You can take him with you and you will leave because you are trespassing. And he also is. As far as I'm concerned, Joel, if you don't feed, I don't know who this person is. Can I get a persuasion check, please? This is for the two gnomes, not Adelbert. Adelbert will just do it. So Adelbert's already on his way. He's like, but he's sick. Okay. And just like, he's just going to go. I'm going to be real sick soon. Persuasion check, please. Hi, please. Yes.

Oof, I saw that. Went from nine to a nine. Bye, Jerry. See you next year. So, okay. Mandy is like, no, fuck Jerry. Sorry, guys. I know you love the sauces, but no. Nobody liked the sauces. So, um... A few minutes are going to go by. And Adelbert is going to be dragging a very sick, almost green looking Jerry. And Jerry's just going to be making noises, mostly. Like, he looks semi-conscious, but like, it's a lot of like, like that. Like, just very like, um, I'm afraid he's a little worse for wear. If I do like a lesser restoration on him, will he be fine? I mean, it doesn't really solve food poisoning, but like, get him on his feet.

Like, it'll, you know, like he, yeah. Yeah, I will absolutely do that so he can explain himself. Okay. I'm that petty. Okay. I'm going to use a spell slot to make him... Yes, absolutely. Okey-dokey. I will use a level two spell slot to make Jerry face the consequences of his actions. Oh, that feels better. Oh, thanks, Ms. Delphine. Uh, how's the kitchen? Like, he's going to be so cheery, like, "Huh?" Like, he did it. And we is just looking coldly at him. It's like, I don't know who you are. Get off my ship. Get off, or get off the boss's ship. But, I don't understand.

No, you are trespassing. Get off before I throw you off. Right now. Stand up behind Lee. So, Jerry's very confused. The two gnomes are going to be looking at Lee the entire time. And then they're going to whisper in each other's ear. And, uh, Theck is going to speak up. So... You're sure? You've never seen this person? Oh, maybe, you know, on the dock somewhere. But, right now, he's nothing but trash to me. Take him. Do you want a slave? He can pay off his debt to you with his body, for all I care. No, we'll take care of it. Alright, everybody! We're done! Like, he's just calling everybody off.

Bruise, Batter, take our guest. We're going to have a speech, a little conversment. Um, Bruise and Batter are two large minotaur. And one of them is going to walk up to Jerry and thunk him in the gut, harder than you've ever seen anyone get punched before. Jerry is going to fold like Superman on laundry day. And... [Laughter] Nice. And the other minotaur is just going to grab him by the scruff of the neck and they're going to escort him away. Unless anyone has anything to say, these people are going to leave your ship. Tobin's just going to, as the two minotaur leave or pass Tobin, he's going to look at them up and down, and just be like, "It would have been fun, I'm pretty sure." And he kind of, like, cracks his knuckles as they walk by.

Yeah, you'll definitely get, like, a snort, like, "Fuck off, little man." Like, you know what I mean? [Laughter] Yeah. And we will look at all the crew members and just, like, this is an example of what happens. You know, not even say it, just, like, look, like, "Do you see? Do you see what friends?" And then just look at Delphine. "Sorry, boss." You know when you're a kid and, like, you fake clean to, like, get out of trouble? It's like you're polishing doorknobs and you're, like, it's like nothing's getting done. But, like, the crew members were already working, but now it's like, they're just, you know, rubbing shit and just, like, cleaning things that don't need cleaning, you know?

I think Delphine's going to, like, start to go down to, like, survey everything that had happened. But, like, on the way, she's going to, like, purposefully give Lee, like, a pat on the shoulder, like, back or whatever, so everyone sees, like, yes, that's exactly what's going to happen. That's how we handle things. How's the kitchen look, Jason? Half good. It looks pretty, like, it's structurally. Structurally it's good? Structurally it's good. It doesn't look, like, you know, finished, but, you know, definitely usable. Sandwich time. Yeah, Tobin will be in there and making a sandwich as fast as he can, like, okay, get the bread.

That's not bad. He'll get, like, dried meats. He'll put it in there. And in his mind, and let me know if I can do this, Jason, Tobin's going to try and remember one of the rites that the monastery made him and his dad do, a purification rite, where they have to push all the bad out of their body. He's going to try and, like, remember the process, like, okay, what did they do, how long did it last. And the only thing that I think he'll retain, because he was kind of a little, you know, he was kind of an asshole when he was up there, is that he needs to be in the room with this specific type of incense.

It's definitely... It's not a quick fix, right? Yeah. Like, it's, you know what I mean? So, I don't know if it's something you could do to somebody without them knowing. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, he's going to have to know, yeah. Right. I'm going to have to sit him down and tell him what's going to happen. Yeah, I think that'd be wise. So, he'll finish the sandwich as the captain's watching the kitchen, and then he'll nod and just kind of rush past her up the steps, fine tuck, and give him this large sandwich with... Basically, it's just like a BLT without the tomato.

It's just lettuce and like a bunch of dried meats. And I'm going to hand it to him. But it's like oversized, you know, like comically oversized. I had to make it for him, so it's like extra bread. Just like hoist it up. Here you go, buddy. Like a Scooby-Doo-esque sandwich. Exactly, exactly. I so badly want to say, what, no sauce? But, um... Tuck's hungry. He'll eat it. Cool. Just dive right in. And I'll tell him, "Hey, Tuck," while he's distracted eating the sandwich. Good move. You are... You're feeling real good right now. But he looks up. In about a few hours, you're going to feel real, real bad.

You're going to feel sick. So, you know I'm looking out for you. In order to get ahead of this, I think I'm going to have to sit you down and do an old monk trick to kind of try and help you ease through that pain. No medicine. Don't worry about it. We're just going to sit there and we're going to... We're going to do that thing I do where I sit, you know, and I just don't talk and I close my eyes. It looks like I'm sleeping, but I'm not because I can catch the bugs that fly around me sometimes. That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We're going to try and teach you that, or at least get you started.

It's not going to... Do I have to sit? Yeah, yeah. For a long time? Yeah, yeah. Sorry, buddy. It's going to be... You know how when I do it usually for a few hours? I don't know how long I usually get bored and walk away with you. Yeah, usually you're there for three minutes normally. Bare bones. But I'm going to need you to focus this time. All right, and I promise once you do that and we make it to the end, we'll get you a nice dinner in town. So like 10 minutes. More than that, buddy. It's going to be... You're going to have to sit the whole way through. I don't know if that sounds fun, but it helps.

It'll help. It's not fun, but I'll try and make it fun because I'll be there with you. Think of me as like the guy you're looking for, right? You had a teacher once. Think of me as a substitute teacher for just a little while. Substitute... Yeah, you're here, but he's not. Yes. Yep. Yeah, you got it. Wow, awesome. Yeah, perfect. Tell you what, finish the sandwich. I'll stay here with you. We can look at the water, look at the birds, and then I'll take you down and we'll try it out. Oh, we're doing it now. I thought we were doing it when it gets bad. I'm great. Okay.

Then we'll just sit here and watch the water, enjoy your sandwich. Okay. Tobin's like, he's very on edge because he's like at any moment, if something gets Tuck's attention that isn't good, he's going to go. He's going to gun it. He's going to go straight for it. I'd say you're on jingle keys babysitting duty right now. Like you're very much like... I got to take care of my partner, man. I need to put like a Michael Bay movie on or something like that. Just kind of like... Explosions. Did you see that Hummer go through 15 houses? Whoa. Ooh, soldiers. Like it's...

Let's play. So I would imagine eventually you guys would convene now that all the not so stuff for the day has wrapped up. Do you exchange notes? Actually, you know what? Let's say you all meet in the captain's quarters. Yeah. I think, yeah, they'll sit down and we feel as both good about getting rid of one problem, bad about introducing another problem. So she's like, she's kind of middling. So she'll get Dauphine. While our meeting did have a bit of a problem and just kind of twitch and look at Tuck. We do have an option not regarding weapons, but I was thinking, oh, excuse me, sir.

I'm still burping. That fish. Yeah. It's going around. Oh, it's the same merchant. Not for weapons since we can't sell it to anybody else, but we did find a source of some recreational drugs and just look at it Tuck. That might be a good source either to bring back to the mainland or to one of the other buyers out here. Just kind of shrug. I brought more food with me, by the way. Yeah, I would think that like Tobin has been going back and forth in the kitchen with like the jerky, even some hardtack. He's just like put some, he's like dressed it up with other like fixings.

Like, okay, what do we have in here? Salt? Yeah, but that's salt. Put that on fucking the hardtack. I'm on a level with you guys. I missed you. No, no, no. I don't regret a thing. Yeah, that was a whole in the ship where the soul used to go to be always higher. Another Jerry. You can't just know. We got three others to play with and they are. I'm thinking, I'm thinking rescue mission. That's what I'm thinking. I will not. As long as the other crew doesn't tell. I will fire everybody before that happens. So we're talking about selling drugs. I think Tobin would ask boom rocks and recreational.

I don't, I don't put them in the same category. Yeah. But I mean, if there's a good source, yeah, that's, that's, that's big. That's big money. Maybe not boom rocks. That was a little pricey and it's a little hot. Maybe something. I think it's a little bit cheaper. More easier to push around. I'm not sure if we could bring it to bright forest. The houses might have something to say about that. But. You know, it's always an option. If we can get it under the radar. Get that. Once we get the ship fixed up. Or. Dear. Monk friends. Like drugs. No, there are those. Joe's app.

We don't, I don't know anything about them, but. Would they be interested in drugs? I don't even think they know what those are. Even better. So when miles a little and then like. He. Kind of bites one of his nails. I don't know. Wait, let me, let me understand this. And notice respect. First mate. You want to introduce a drug to a native. Population that possibly doesn't know what it is. She will just. Smile. And just. Not. Well. We've heard they might have gems. I don't know. He's going to have like one side of his mouth. Curve up in a smile. Damn. You're cold. I mean, the math is solid.

And he'll just like kind of juggle to himself and lean back in a chair, like real far back. What do you think boss? I think he's going to be a tough guy. I think he's going to be like cuddling with Gilbert. Because she's had a really rough day guys. Okay. And. Gilbert would definitely, there's probably a few times that Delphine's next. Going to snap back because Gilbert's going to bunt. But it's kind of like being punched by a toddler. Like it's like, just like surprisingly strong. Yeah. Or those fucking nasty little boots people put on kids. They're just hard plastic.

Yeah. And. Gilbert's going to purr and everybody's going to have to slightly elevate their, their tone. So that you could shout over the purring. Cause it sounds like a tiny jet. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like the Ninja turtles, pizza thrower toy. If anybody had one of those. Yeah, I think it was loud. Yeah. I remember that. That's a joke for eight people. All right, sweet. We're in this call. Yeah. Okay. But yes, sorry. I don't think that Delphine would like outright. Shut it. Down. I think it's like one of those things. Like. I don't know. I don't know if that's something that we should get into.

Selling weapons is legal. Technically. Depending on where you get them from. I don't know. If that's something. That like. That's something that we should get into. I don't know. If that's something that we should get into. I can't make that decision. For the entirety of the company. Well, Even if the money could be good. I was thinking money would be good. We could always just sell. Provisions food. But the cut would be lower. I think that's the point. I think I would like you to do me a favor. Give me a wisdom check. Me. Everybody. Everybody. I mean, you can come along.

Like. Wow. Great. For. The books. Talk. Not bad. Yeah. I think I'm going to go with. I. Delphine with a crit. Okay. So. I think Delphine and Lee, there's kind of an unspoken thing, but you are on a continent. That is pretty volatile. Right. And where there's war. There's profit. Now. There's a lot of drugs. And there's a lot of drugs. However, there are drugs. That's. Offer. Bonuses to abilities that would help in combat. Let's say you took a bunch of snake vein up north and you found line folk who would be interested in partaking. That would increase their strength. The stamina, that type of thing.

And no, they wouldn't all be into it. So. Of course, if you go to south, you could talk to the guests around. Maybe offer them some brain juice, that type of thing. They're natural spell casters there. You know, again, they're less prideful, much more pragmatic. If you made a sales pitch like that. And then as Lee mentioned, there are the toes. Who could potentially be sitting on a shitload of gems and. Very little concept of commerce. So. Is there a legal legality of drugs in this, on this continent? It's. So again, there's very little way in the, there's fairly little in the way of infrastructure and stuff like that.

When you're in Westport. It has its own kind of, you know, it's, it's basically civilization, right? It's, it's almost like a U S embassy. So you could expect to have them. Have a lot of the same rules that are in place in someplace like bright port, something like that. And then you can get caught using it. If you do, we got to put on a show that type of thing. However, once you get out into the wild, you're pretty much at the mercy of whoever you run into. All of them are going to have their own version of, you know, The laws, justice, that type of thing.

So. You enter in a big gray area once you're out and about in the continent. I think. Delphine's going to ask Lee. I think he's going to ask Lee. Like, was it just. The boom rocks they're selling or was there, did they mention other things? I asked if they had other things and it sounded like he, he had. Other things available. He did say we could meet up after hours. He mentioned a place, if you want to go discuss it. It is not, well, he is part. Of the company. And he's not going to be selling us weapons, but. I think his business is separate. So we would have to worry about the gifts.

Or his company, as long as. He doesn't tell me. We won't tell. It'll be all on the down-low with him only. Do I want to meet a drug dealer in a back alley at night? I don't know. I don't know. Everything sounds like a bad idea. We met a bunch of fine folk. In the dark at night. Building. I don't wasn't at nighttime. I don't think it was. No. Oh, Mid-afternoon. It was still in the middle of nowhere. Like brunch. Outnumbered. No. I don't know. How did you get this tuggle do it? Just send. Take them all out. Why don't we should, we should table that. I think for now. I don't know.

With the, with Roland. What was the name of that place? Oh, Roland and Welsh. Oh, is that what it was called? Yeah, no, it's just, it's like a little mom and pop shop. I thought I had a fun name. Okay. I mean, if you run away to that Villa, You can make up any fun name you want. No. No. I mean, I think she'll just like lay down like the business part of that. And explain. The like the supply we could get going here. Just. Just like, Ooh. I mean, I think it's like, Not yet. Okay. Especially not in tux state. I mean, yeah, you could take, you could keep it general, like.

Roland offered, you know, swords, axes. Rod. And just kind of, just kind of keep it general. Like. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. So, I mean, that's a good, that's good to get us started. We should, I don't know. We should probably try to get more for the blind folk or. I mean, I think that's a good start. This sounds like a good start. And if you make nice with. And just kind of give her like. Eyebrow up like. Maybe this could be, maybe he would be open to selling to us. Biweekly also. Sounds pretty. Pretty good. I think that's a good start. I think we should probably try to get more of those extra hands.

And maybe put a pair on those extra hands permanently. And maybe, probably make more and more. As time goes on. Good job. Thank you. Thank you. As long as the deal with the lion folk. Holds up. Cause I know we're only doing that temporarily too. Yeah. They said that. If they stopped showing up, it's because they got caught. And then we'd be stuck. And then we'd be stuck. I mean, Tobin kind of leans forward in his chair. I think we can circle back to those toes. Toes off. Yeah. Those little guys. Yeah. I don't know. Wait for me. Good weapons on them. No, we can give them the excess.

If the lion folks suddenly stops showing up, we can maybe, Hey, you want pointy stick for shiny rocks that they could potentially have. And then they'll pull out a dart. And he'll look at, at a tuck. Tuck. You want this? And I'll like spin it in his hand. Like, uh, like someone moving a coin in between their fingers, you know, rolling it around. Like almost up in his face, like spinning it. Are you going to give it to me? Sure. Give me a coin. No. Well, he puts the dart away. Bad example. He's on drugs. It would have worked. I'm now next to Tobin. Just like waiting for it.

And he'll look at him. Yeah, here, take it. We'll give him the dart. It's so cute. You guys. You're going to hear. You're going to hear something that sounds like hail a little bit. And it's, it's, it's really, it's really scattered. It sounds like the beginning of a rain storm, but like heavier. And then you're going to hear members of your crew start to yell. And then someone's going to come and pound on the door of the captain's quarters. Tobin opens it quickly. I'm afraid we have a bit of a situation brewing out here. We could use the captain's assistance.

Is Albert talking to us? Yes. Yes. I'll say, Albert, what did you come on? He like motion and moves in like, hurry up, hurry up. What, what, what? There seems to be a small group of people throwing rocks at our ship. And they look to be quite militant. Angry. Tobin smiles and then looks up the captain. I'm like, what? I mean, definitely not get up and just march away up top. Like what's the going on? I'm supposed to be cuddling my cat right now. I like the twin Tobin and Tuck are walking out. I want to like, make sure I look at Tuck. Hey, don't do anything until I do something first.

Can you do that? What? Yes. Yes. Okay. Okay. Come on. I need, I need you here, buddy. He's like looking at his face. Come on. I need you here. I need you right here. And he points to his eyes. All right. I'm here. All right. Okay. Oh, this is gonna be good. All right. We go out. I walk out. So, so, okay. You're going to see a grouping of individuals. Looks to be about eight, maybe nine. It could be one or two scattered. And they are whipping rocks at the side of your ship, which isn't doing any damage. It's more, you know, sending a message. However, you are going to see a couple of them with liquor bottles with rags in them.

And there's going to be a couple of them standing on the plank leading up to your ship. Send out that fucking bull, man. I look behind myself. Oh, no. And there's so... I got you punched too. There's there's a guy with his arm bandaged and his face is swollen. Oh, yes. And his mouth is kind of like stuffed with like a like a like a cotton rag or something like that. They are pretty adamant about seeing Tuck this evening. I'd say it's probably a couple hours since you guys got back dealing with that crew, having a meeting, eating sandwich, probably, you know, had a break for dinner, that type of thing.

So it's been a couple hours. The sun is pretty much set by now. Mm. I want to see the asshole punched my brother. Tobin looks to Lee and Delphine. He sounds lovely. Delphine just going to glare at Tuck. I mean, I Delphine will just like get rid of I don't not right up in his face, but like maybe like to the edge of the ship, like right before, like you can get on it and just be like, what the hell is your problem? He's going to start to walk up the plank now to meet Delphine, not in an aggressive way, but just like not not like I'm going to hit a woman more like I have business with someone on your.

It's like like he's taking it as like, oh, you don't even know that type of thing. Not like you are hiding him yet. OK, he's going to hit a woman. I can feel it. I can hear it. OK. Don't like the accent for you. Don't like assumptions. Are we getting a weird like Michael Rooker vibe? Am I like walking dead? Like it's a little bit. OK, now he's got both hands and everything. OK. I literally in my head, I when you said that, I was like, oh, my God, it's him. It's Merle. Poor Michael Rooker. He always ends up playing that guy. Except in Tim Stone. Yeah. And mall rats.

Ah, that doesn't count. Yeah, that's not a movie. You're right. Yeah. Well, come on. That's fine. That's fine. You're right. So he's going to walk up to Delphine. But even though the gap has closed between them, his volume has not decreased at all. One of your asshole crew members punched my brother in the face for no damn reason. And he is going to he's going to continue. I want him to apologize to my brother's face and pay for his mental scarring. He is emotionally devastated. I can assure you, sir, that nobody on my crew hurts another person without provocation.

Tobis in the back pushing, tuck back back downstairs. What? No, no. I think you have the wrong ship. He is going to beg to differ. No, no, no, no, no, no, lady. I had two of my boys follow you back to this vessel. We know you're keeping that idiotic savage somewhere on this ship. And if you don't hand him over, we'll just have to burn the whole goddamn thing down until you send him out. At that point, someone in the back is going to light up one of those rags, and they are very prepared to chuck. Hey, Tuck, give me a give me a perception check. Yeah, yeah.

Here you go. Superman Superman's coming. Oh, boy, that's a four. No, not yet. So I to him, it's just like, what? Like, it's not words or anything like, damn, that was a good sandwich. Like, yeah, just shit. I need another sandwich. Yeah, I'm in the back. I'm like, only I'm like on the stairs going to the up to the deck. Look, look at this. Look, I have another dart. Look, it's Transformers 2. How hard can you throw that? Very far, but we're not going to test that right now. I think that your volume is a little too loud for you to have heard me properly when I told you that you had the wrong ship.

I think she's going to take a step forward, like an intimidating step forward. You're rocking like 60 HP right now. I see. I see. You know what? Yeah, I think we do have an understanding here. I'm I'm just gonna I'm just gonna take a couple of steps back and he is going to take a couple of steps back. Throw it. Oh, boy. Let's let's just let's do a little ranged attack with a Molotov. New continent, new problems. Oh, he whiffed it. So that's interesting. So he's going to chuck this and I'd say it has a bit more verticality than it needs. So it's going to go way up and then splash down into the water, dangerously close to the ship, but not actually hitting the ship.

And he's going to turn around like that was like just kind of like it's like you're making me look bad here. Fire up another one, like just kind of like, come on. That was a warning shot. The next one's going to hit the ship and now he's going to call over you. And he's like, send out that savage bowman like that, like he is he is shouting. Boss. Oh, I'm sorry. The burps. That's why I didn't grab a second one, because I was like, oh, I don't want to I don't want to add to this. I should know better. Boss. Boss, they attacked first. Shall we retaliate? So, Delphine has a shield.

I think I want to try to shove him off of the thing with my shield. Off of or down? Well, like I'm assuming there's like a like a board or something. Yes. So there is the board leading to the ship and then air, air. But water underneath. Water or deck like water or dock. Either is fine. I think I think I go for air. I tried to burn my ship. So that's like an athletics. You're like shoving, right? Yeah. Give him a little shabby shove. So he would it would be contested. So go ahead. Give me a little give me a little shabby shove. You want you want athletics? I want athletics.

I want athletics. OK. Oh, I like it. Oh. No, he's going to. OK. 15 versus an 11. OK. Can I say something cool? Yes. She'd like I said you had the wrong ship and then just bash him with her shield. OK. Let's do let's do ship math. Let's do so. OK. I'm guessing from dock to. The where this would be, that's probably around like 12, 15 feet somewhere in there. Hi. Yeah, probably somewhere in there. I don't know, ships. Someone out there is going to correct me. But you know the dimensions. So shut up. So that's tall enough. You need a plank to walk on it. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

Listen here, DNR. My yacht doesn't. And they're going to tell me, first of all, target demographic, show us that no one who listens to this one's a yacht. I can tell you that's fair. No, we're more aiming for the pizza thrower demographic. That's who we're aiming for. Maybe Jasper owns a yacht. I'm not sure. You know, maybe he does. I don't think it's going to do him a lot in Brooklyn. But he keeps he keeps it. He keeps it in. What's it called off the what's that place called? Well, the Manhattan. It's somewhere up there, right? There's boats on Manhattan somewhere.

Yes, probably. Long Island. Yeah. Yeah. Strong. More like Strong Island. Hey, am I right? Yeah, Jasper. Jasper doesn't strike me as as the guy going between New York and Jersey. It would probably be more. Yeah. OK. Yeah. OK. That's that's fair. Anyway. This guy is going to fall and I'm going to allow him to roll a deck save. That's fair. But he is going to take a tumble and he's going to do it with disadvantage because it's not like he's rogue. He's falling and he was struck beforehand. And so let's. Oh, boy. I hope there's going to be a lot of deaths on this dock tonight.

And that's a 12. So he is going to fall. And bruise his coccyx. Oh, his butt is, but he's going to fall straight on his butt and kind of twist his ankle a little bit. It's not pleasant. So his brother, who has a bandaged arm and fucking mouthful of shit, he's going to start backing down the plank as they whip another Molotov at this. Now they're now they're pissed. So let's now he's got his aim locked in, I'd say. Right. The laws are right. Oh, my God. Oh, he got better. Yeah. So this is going to. This is going to hit the broad side of the ship, but some of it's going to spill over onto the deck and it will catch fire.

So now the crew is running over to put this out. I think Tuck is going to notice this. Tuck, could you do me a favor? Yes. There's a special table you made. Yes, there is. And I feel like this is an occasion where we would roll on set table. Would you concur? I would. OK, could I get you to roll on that table? Absolutely. Fantastic. Oh, that's a good reaction. That's what we wanted. Um, wrath becoming extremely angry for whatever reason, using it as an excuse to fight or get your way in an intimidating fashion may cause barbarian rage. Definitely going to cause barbarian rage.

So you can hear Delphine, raise your voice and then boom, knock somebody off. Fire and then Tuck does what? I imagine he runs up the stairs to see what's going on because he's uninformed. He also feels invincible still, so he still feels like I can handle whatever is thrown at me. Goes up, sees the fire. How close is the fire to Delphine? I'd say probably within 10 to 15 feet. It's close enough. OK, so his thought process is I'm amazing. My boss is not right now. Like, she needs me to protect her. I need to be the one who fixes all the problems. If she dies, I have nowhere to get where I want in the future.

Just like a man. Remember, Tuck only cares about himself right now. But he knows when other people around him, friends, are helping him succeed at that. So, seeing that he doesn't want that to happen, he's going to go into a rage. Granted, I don't see them because they're over the edge, but there is a fire. I'm going to rage against the fire. I was thinking about if he's going to run down the plank, but I'm saying they were outside the docks. I know the commotion is coming from out there. Yeah, it doesn't take a genius. Even Tuck can figure that out. I'd say he's just going to try to rush past there to get in front of Delphine and see if someone's going to go after him, but also protect the crew and the fire and all that.

But by being in front, even if it means he goes on fire because he doesn't care about fire. The fire will actually keep his rage up anyway, so that's double good. It really just feels like Jason was like, "Y'all have not done anything for four episodes, and we're going to do all of the dangerous things today." I rolled on the table to see, "Would that guy hold a grudge?" Probably. I think he came up with an eight. Aww, what a cute little town. Yeah, a little, yeah. Fuck. Oh, they have a bull man too. Could I get everyone to do me a favor and roll initiative?

Why is he so big? Oh my god, I forgot I had a negative three to my initiative. Jesus. Goddamn it. I was rolling so well all night and then just not now. Twelve. Ooh, baby. Okay, well then. Look at all of those effects on Tuck. Yeah, that's a lot. Again, I believe all the math is correct. If you see something that's off, let me know. Okay. We'll just keep writing code until... Yeah, that's a... It's been a pleasure, everyone. Archer number two. So how would you describe Tuck? Would you say it looks aggressive? Yeah, I mean with his scary eyes right now, like being in front, it's almost like he's backing her up for whatever she did, but seeing that the bow's on fire, he's there.

He's a hair trigger away. And I think they know it too. Right on the razor's edge. I yield the floor. Okay, I'm gonna say this Archer is going to fire at Tuck a couple of times. I'm just imagining that scene from Beauty and the Beast when the Beast just like rips off a shirt and he's just like, "Ahh!" Here we go. Oh my God, first attack of the evening is a crit miss. Sadly, counterattack is what we got. You were too far away to hit, but you do gain inspiration, which you already had. So kind of a bust. But here comes attack number two. That's gonna miss. Archer number two, I think is going to do the same thing.

Oh! Oh, it's going to be one of these knights, is it? Oh no. Oh no. That's a crit. Yes. Concussion. You smash your target in the head causing massive damage. In addition to standard critical hit damage, you give the enemy a concussion. The target is unconscious and must roll a con save with a DC of 12. Here's the thing though. For you not to meet this save, it would be a miracle for this Archer. Could I get a con save please? Yeah. 20 will do it. Yeah, that's fine. The drugs keep him on his feet. Yeah, this would have shaved off 1d4 intelligence permanently. Hey, we know this one, Karen.

Yeah, you're good though. So yeah, you're fine. Well, let's do damage anyway. 14 damage to Tuck one more time. 15 will miss. Isn't it halved because he's raging? Oh, it is. I'm raging. Oh, apply. Okay. Target yourself and give yourself some rage. That'd make all this a lot easier. Okay, six. Now I got the burps. Thank you. I'm so burpy. I love my soda, but god. I'm just cold. I should have went and got a blanket and then I didn't. It's fine. Go get one. No, I'm good. I'm just going to complain about it. Okay. All right. Let's add a few more things to your... Yeah. Good stuff.

Yep. All right. Shit. This is a problem. Okay. You know what? Here we go. Dragonborn veteran is going to move up here just a little bit and breathe fire on Tuck. Just to knock that shit off. They're here for vengeance. So... Give me a dexterity saving throw. Okay. We're looking for 15 or higher. 18. Nice. Holy shit. So you're going to take half of this. Okay. Oh god. 25 by... wait. Okay, hold on. 25 by half does it get halved again because... No, 30. It says half. It takes 12. Oh, okay. Okay, that's fine. Sweet. T'kar, your rebuttal. Okay. Well, this dude's right in front of me, right?

Or he... I guess... Was it arranged? I mean, pretty close though. It was like a cone. He breathed fire, so... Okay. Well, I'm just going to run up to this dude. The dragon, because I don't care about the archers. I think they hit me, but I... The concussion dude, I have got like... I don't like... But this dude threw fire at me. And I will... I'm already raging. And we'll just swing with my halberd. Make sure he's targeted. Am I still targeting myself? Make sure I'm not. There we go. Okay. Just to be safe. Kill myself. He hurt himself with the confusion. How about that? 26 will hit.

Nice. Alright. Since you have a plus 10. And then we'll do this. 18 damage. Nice. And I also get extra attack. And do that again. Oh, let's drop a 2 to take an 11. 21 will hit. Nice. Do it again. And we'll hit. 13 damage. And I will be giving him probably the scariest look in the world, because I am all about wrath right now. There's not much sanity in me right now. I feel like if they saw you racing down from the ship, like the two archers and the guy's like, "Shit, shit, shit!" Just like, "Stop him, stop him!" That type of thing. The archers definitely, it's like, "I don't want him this close to me.

I want to throw pointy objects at him." Just try to run from me. Oh, the Minotaur! Hum. Oh, okay. Well, I think we have to charge. I think we have to charge Tuk from behind. Gonna have to goose him, I think. You know what? Let's do... Oh, shit. Yeah, let's do charge. So, running up on Tuk. Let's target Tuk. And core. Core with advantage. 22 will hit. Ahh. Ah, damn it. So, 4. Extra 4 damage. This is a formality, but give me a strength saving throw, please. Okay. Is that enough? Yeah, 26 will be fine, I think. That'll do it. So, it's like all these guys keep trying to grab him or do something and he's just like pushing him away.

It's like, "I don't get it. This usually works." Well, shit. I think this drow is gonna have to get involved, too. I'm so sorry. Yeah. This is fine. You keep hitting him and he does... It's like, "Oh, look, flies. Huh. Huh. I feel just a breeze, maybe." Well, the drow may be a little tougher. So, 2 short sword attacks. Let's go. And, Jesus, plus 2. 'Cause Tuk couldn't be more surrounded. Short sword. 21 will hit. Yeah. 19 damage partially resisted. Some of that's poison. It's 6. It should be 16. It says right there. Yeah, 23 will hit. Jesus. Okay. 19 damage partially resisted.

This is starting to mount up for Tuk. Little bit. Little bit. Tobin, your body's getting hit. Yeah, Tobin doesn't like what he's seeing. He ignores all previous orders. He knows he's not in charge, but he's just gonna shout, "Take care of him!" And then he's gonna run behind this guy. And finally get to use all my cool stuff. And you have advantage. I do. I'm gonna use my unarmed strike with advantage on this fucking Dragonborn. Or he's a half-dragon, right? Whatever the hell he is. It's a Dragonborn. For some reason they can't say Dragonborn. I think it has something to do with Skyrim.

I don't know. 27. Hey, 27 will do it. Cool. Got him right here. Thank you. Where's my character sheet? Give me my character sheet. There you go. You cannot have it. 10 damage. And I am going to spend one key point to try and stun him. So give me a Constitution saving throw, please. Oh no. Oh! Hey, guess what? He's stunned. I don't like it. He's incapacitated. Lame. Automatically fails decks and strength saving throws. And attack rolls against him have advantage, which I already have. And I'm going to use my extra attack. Because I am above fifth level. I forgot advantage, so I'm going to roll again.

Sorry. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. The game doesn't want me to do it. That's going to miss, sadly. That's okay. Yeah, I think that's it for me. Delphine. Hello. This escalated quickly. Yeah. Yeah, it did. I think that first things first, she's going to try to put out the fire. Because that's also another thing that can, like, hurt the team. Your crew is working on it, just to let you know. They are. But, like, how are they doing? Well, I'm going to roll at the end of this round. Oh, at the end of the round. Alright, I will wait then. I'll wait to see how well that goes, I guess.

Alright. I will then instead do a... Where is it? A Cure Wounds on my good buddy, Tuck. Where is he? He's in the middle of all of that. That little tiny thing in there, that's me. That little tiny guy in there. I think I need to get closer, though. Oh, Cure Wounds is a touch. Oh, you gotta get a lot closer. I don't have the... I can do a healing ward instead, that's fine. Now I can do that. Okay, I'm going to do it at a level four. So that is... Four d4 plus... Will this do it? Okay, well that's just the initial healing. And then I need to roll three more d4s. That's what it is.

It's 44 plus five, I just don't know how to count them up. Whatever. Without note gone? There we go. Okay, so then Tuck gets six more. Yay. Done. Yay. I mean, you're not in the orange anymore. That's true. I had over 50% damage, which was amazing. Oh, as a bonus action, you can do another thingy. Right, but it has to be a cantrip, right? It has to be a cantrip, yeah. Yeah. Okay, I mean, I can do a Sacred Flame. And I will target... I think I should target the Minotaur. He seems like he's bad news. Fares. He needs to target him with a C on a Dexterity saving throw. Okay.

So hit that. Oh, wow. 19. Well... With a plus zero. See the Dexterity, or take one D. I don't think he takes any damage then, right? No, it's a cantrip. Okay, that's it. Alright, that'll bring up Drow Elite Warrior. Drow Elite Warrior is going to target Tobin. And let's fire Crossbow. 16's gonna miss. Good, I don't want to have to burn any more ki points. Oh boy, that's gonna bring up the captain here. Oh, I thought you were talking to me for a second. I was like, um... No. There, captain. There, other. That's the other captain. Well, let's go here and target Tobin.

And make three rapier attacks. Oh, he's one of these guys. He's one of them guys. Oh, why so good? Rapier one! 17 will hit. I did kind of try to talk. I want to do something. What do you want to do? Oh no, he has to miss. Never mind, I have to take this in the face. Smash, smash! Seven damage. Oh, that's a lot, because I'm very squished. Oh, 26 will hit. Six damage. This is starting to hurt. And finally... 21 will hit. He cut me up. Oh, eight damage. So... That's a bunch. That's 21 damage. That is the majority of my health. Yeah, yeah. Lee, get in there. Damn. Okay, let's see.

Does diagonal count as five feet steps? Yeah, it's just one. Okay. One. I'll go for the minotaur. Two, three, four, five. And because I have an alarm, I can hit from here. Thanks. So I am going to... Let's see, attack. Is it a plus two? Oh, I get a plus two. Okay. Attack. Attack. A 24 will hit. Holy shit, this is plus 12. What I'm going to do is I'm going to use... Sorry, I'm so burpy. Medicing attack. So I get to add my die to the damage roll. My superiority die. And the target must make a wisdom saving throw on a failed save. It is frightened of me until the end of my next turn.

So I can force it. 21 and succeeds. What the forkin forkin. Well, fine. That is a dexterous, wise minotaur. How dare it. Well, I'm going to give myself the fact and damage. This one hacks. 17 damage though. Holy shit. Okay, then I'm going to do my second attack. Plus two. Oh, damn. Oh, shit. Okay, because of your plus 12, 14 will hit. Okay. I'm going to do that again. What are the odds of him saving twice? I know. Let me think. 13 is a failure. There we go. Now he is... Okay, I'm going to give him the frightened effect. Alright, alright. She's like twirling and looking cool.

And my superior die. Let me mark up two. Done. And let's do damage 19. And then I'm going to hit because I have poor mystery. I can hit with the other side of my form. Oh, wow. 17 will hit. And this much damage. Seven damage. Oh my God. And then I'm going to take a step back. And that's my turn. On a scale of one to ten, let's see how well the crew is dealing with this fire. They got it well in here. It's fine. That's a nine. They got it. Well, no. I mean, they do have a history of putting out fires. Excellent. Okay, that one's for me. I just needed to roll a die to see something.

Well, it's top of the order, guys. Let's reroll that initiative. Kaboom. Tobin, you're up. Wow. Okay. Remember that thing I said I never would use and I was like, why do I have this as a monk? Yeah. I'm going to, oh, I don't want to use it. Wait, let me see. Yeah, I'm going to use it. Five point palm exploding heart technique. No, no. Quick annealing. I'm going to spend two key points. I have used three total and I'm going to roll a martial arts die, which is a D six now because we are higher level. Sure. I regained this much health plus my proficiency bonus. So four, whatever, plus four to whatever this is, I will get eight back.

Eight. Eight's good. Please. Yes. And that was my action. As a bonus action, I'm going to use, oh, wait, I have a special drunken thing for this. Yes. Well, no, it's not drunken. It's actually regular monk. It's called step of the wind. I'm going to spend one key point to take the disengage action as a bonus action. And I can move my normal speed when I disengage. Correct. Oh, yeah. Okay. So five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. Oh, holy shit. Did you just leave? Thank you. I'm moving. Oh no. I'm moving to get away from the, I want to get close to the archers. I want to, I want to cause some havoc over here.

Got it. Sorry. It's an oldie, but a goodie. What? Did you leave? No. She said you're flanking. It's a five-year-old joke. That's why. I don't remember that. I'll always remember. Anything else? I'm trying to think if I can. I think I've used everything right. Bonus action, action. I think so. The only thing I haven't done is move, but I don't want to move because I'm stuck here. You know what? I don't want to be there. Okay. Yeah. Why did you move there? Because I'm dumb. Because I realized like, oh, I'm going to fight this guy. I'm like, no, wait, this is not what I think it is.

This is a draw. If I can, I will go on the other side. I want to fight the minotaur as well. Are you disengaging? Yeah, I'm using the same actions I did before. I'm just moving it here instead. And my turn. I'm sorry it took so long. No, you're fine. That's going to perplex that draw. You're going to run right up to him. It's like, no, and then just fade into the-- Rewind. Tuck! Hello. Okay. So, I'm already getting through this half-red draw in. So, I'm going to use my blade flourish and use the slashing flourish ability, which allows me to expend one of my bardic inspiration to cause the weapon to deal extra damage to your target and to any creature of your choice.

You can see within five feet of you, the damage equals the number I roll my bardic inspiration. Also, you get advantage on him because he's unconscious/stunned. Mm-hmm. All right. So, just do this to see what the added damage is. Four. So, that'll go to this half-red dragon and the captain. Oh, my. His-- whatever. Ignore me. Don't underestimate that captain. Well, I figure he's actually really deadly. That's why I'm thinking about it, but-- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ignoring the minotaur draw next to me, behind me. Like, eh, Tobin's got it. These are mine. He could die, guys.

And he's gonna attack half-red dragon, yeah, dragonborn, whatever. That's 28 will hit. Cool. That'll do it. Good. So, bam. 16 damage. So, 16 plus four. Got it. And then the captain takes four. Poor captain. I know, it's heavy. And then extra attack. Hit him again. 22 will hit that dragonborn. That'll kill the dragonborn. Oh, okay. Are you trying to kill or knock out? Let me ask. Do you think Tuck would care? Would Tuck care? Let's do a 50/50. Okay. One, two, three, or three and below. He's dead and above. He's just unconscious. Sure. Oh, he's unconscious. Okay. Anything else?

What else can I do? I think. Do I want to make a power move? No, I'm good. If anything, I'll just move like this and be in between. I think I'm still in range of the minotaur. Well, the minotaur is frightened anyway. Just to be clear, what you've been doing wasn't a power move? I was going to walk away and create an attack of opportunity and ignore it. Okay. Drow warrior two is going to continue to try and stab Tuck with advantage. Boom. Oh, that'll crit. No table though. 12. Yeah, 24 partially resisted because of the poison. Go away. Yeah, that's... Okay, another one. 25 will hit. 18 partially resisted.

Okay. Oh my god. Well, elite warrior one is going to move just a bit closer here and fire an arrow at Tobin. Oh, that was almost a one. Okay. 22 will hit. I'm burning a ki point. Use my reaction to try and grab it. Okay. So I have to roll a d10 plus my dex mod, which thanks to you and your devil deal is plus five plus my monk level, which is nine. So that's already 14. So I'm getting rid of damage. So I'm going to roll the damage, but then don't do it to my health because I have to see if I can reduce it. Okay. Fucking max damage is 10. Yeah. I'm going to have to roll for it, but I'm going to roll anyways, but I've spent a ki point.

Cinematically, he fires an arrow at me, right? Crossbow bolt, I believe, or arrow. Which one was it? Either one. It's a crossbow bolt. I catch it and I just press it in my hand. And then I just put up a finger like, "No, no, no, no." Did you just dikembe me? No. No, to my house. The captain. Oh God. You know what? Captain is right in front of this big raging Minotaur, I believe. You target the Minotaur and let's do... This could get nasty. Let's do three rapier attacks. Oh, that's targeting Tobin. Sorry. But 25 will hit. Yeah. Please don't give me the damage that he would get.

Don't worry. I don't want that. There we go. Five, partially resistant. The good news is this is just a rapier. You're going to eat half of this and probably be fine. And second. Oh, let's drop a one to take a 12. 18 will hit. Six, partially resistant. And 24 will hit. That captain has rolled really well. Yeah, there's a reason he's a captain. So Tuck is a monster of a freight train and has taken the damage equivalent of the rest of the party's HP easily and is still standing. Lee, what does Lee have to say about all this? He is concentrating on killing the big guy, so move just a smidge closer.

Just like, yeah, you're afraid of me. Oh, plus two also. Oh, it still hits anyways. Oh, that's going to hit. OK. Thank you. OK. And then so that. Yeah. Oh, good. Oh, max damage. Sixteen. Excellent. And then a second attack. 23 will hit. I feel like we're getting a lot of rocky dice tonight where it feels like they're, you know what I mean? We're teetering. Thirteen damage. Then I'll use my other side bonus action. Oh, plus plus two. Twelve's going to... Fourteen will hit. OK. Oh, that means I can't really miss. That's nice. Well, unless you roll a one. Unless I roll a one.

That'll kill this poor minotaur. It was already frightened of you. Excellent. OK. Or knock them out. Yeah. It looks like we're doing. OK. I'm going to use my, what's it called? Action surge. So I'm going to move up here. Let's attack the captain so I can do two more attackies, but not bonus, but that's fine. That's fine. Da da da action surge. Attacky. Oh, twenty eight will hit. I want to use, let's do a trip attack. He has to make a strength saving throw. Fail. So he is not. That's going to fail. He's knocked prone. Oh my. And I get to add my, oh let me mark that off.

Well, I can add my superiority die to this damage. This one. Oh, sixteen to the captain. OK. And that was my first one, right? OK. And then I shall attack him again. Oh, do I get advantage because he's prone? Yes. Excellent. Are we counting the attacks you did to the minotaur? Huh? Are we counting the attacks you did to the minotaur? I action surge, so. Right. So you got, so this is your second one of the two actions. Yes. Got it. And attack. Seventeen will still hit. Oh my God. Thank goodness. And then I'll do the same damage. Oh, fourteen. OK. This captain's going to be so pissed.

So pissed. I move back just a smidge. Oh. Actually, I'm going to move back a little bit more. And that is it. Archer number one. OK. You know what? Archer number one is going to target Tobin. Because now it's a bit of a challenge, right? It's like, no, I'm going to shoot that guy. He's trying to catch arrows. Fuck that. I can't do it anymore until my next turn. Hi-yah. Oh, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him. Hi-yah. Seventeen will hit. Yeah, I can't stop it. Oh, minimum damage. Five. One more time. Nineteen. I'm in deep shit. Nine. Ten damage. Oh, God. OK. Archer number two.

It's going to move up a bit. And target Lee. Fifteen will miss. And oh, eleven is going to miss. You only miss as we've had in a while. Oh, thank you. Yes. We've been hit pretty consistently. Yes, please miss. Miss the squishy one. Please. Delphine. Hello. Delphine is going to come down off this ship a little bit. And I am going to target-- oh, there he is. I was like, where'd Tobin go? Tobin and Tuck. And I'm-- Tuck's getting his head stoved in, so it's-- Yeah. I'm going to do a Mass Cure Wounds. I don't think-- yeah, I don't have to touch for that. And bam. Ooh, 20. 20 health, baby.

And then I will do a bonus action Sacred Flame against the Drow warrior here. Oh, actually, oh, they both look like they have really good dexterity. Well-- They're Drow rogues. Yeah. But the captain, too, probably has really good dexterity. Whatever. We're just going to set that. Good with a rapier. Yeah. We'll just send it. Maybe you'll have a bad roll. That motherfucker's not missed yet. 17. Oh, that's very juicy. Right on the money. Wow. It's all right. I killed the team. It's fine. That's it. Do you remember earlier-- this is the end of the round, by the way. Do you remember earlier when I rolled a 1 for a d4?

Yeah. OK. You're going to hear bells start ringing, like a handheld bell type of thing. Oh, no. And a bunch of guards are going to swarm this dock area. And it's like, right, stop it. Stop. Like, just try to get order and stuff like that. And they're going to start to apprehend not your crew, but the people who attacked your ship. And emerging from the guards, kind of like walking around, is going to be Roland. And Roland is going to approach Delphine. And he's going to rush up and take her hand. My dear, are you all right? I followed these Ralphians. They looked like they were up to no good.

And they seem to be following you. OK. I'm in love with him now. Holy shit. It would be a shame if something happened to this beautiful vessel and such a great shame if something would happen to you. Delphine is going to take it back a little bit, because where did Roland just come from? Has he always been 6 foot 3? Whoa. Has he always had biceps? Hold on. Wait a minute. Wait, where did that light behind his head come from? What is that? Why is it so warm? Is that Ralph Lauren? Is that Armani? What's that smell? There's a green going through his hair. I picture Spanish guitar every time he shows up on the scene.

It's like, [MAKES SOUNDS] Just like-- I like Delphine and him with the She's going to ask him, are you part of the guard? No. No, my dear. I was regretting that our time was so short. And while taking a bit of a smoke break, I saw these individuals start to follow you. I assure you, I was just looking out for your well-being. Yeah, that's going to get us food. Wow. Gosh. Sorry, that's me. That's me saying gosh. Because that's so sweet. OK. I think he'd follow up because he's the type of guy who doesn't want to be misunderstood. Please understand that this has nothing to do with our potential business arrangement.

This was simply for justice's sake. Well, I guess it's a good thing that you were following up. Thank you. They tried to burn my ship. I see that. I am quite regretful I wasn't fast enough on the draw. I'm sorry. I fetched the guard as soon as I could. I do know a lovely contractor that owes me a favor. They could make any repairs necessary. Oh, that would be so lovely. Delphine's totally a spin. He'd give the rest of the crew a nod like, I'm very glad that such capable adventuring types party with you. You have a very intelligent captain, but if you've had a trying night, I'll bid you adieu for now.

And he's going to kiss your hand lightly and then kind of back away and let the guard kind of handle their business. I love him. I love him. Tobin would go up to Lee and be like, as he's pulling arrows out of himself. That's the guy that's the guy we talked to. He's got a villa. Pull another one out. Yeah, that's going to happen. Lee's just nodding. A little impressed, but also a little kind of worried because he's super smarmy, but also like, right, worth it. I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do a little bit of a dance. I'm going to do a dance.

I'm going to do a dance. I'm going to do a dance. It was brought up in the last fucking meeting. It's part of the minutes. Like, I'm just saying. It's on there. It's new business. Like us. Oh my God. Oh, that's great. Can you imagine if you had killed them, Michael? Oh my God, right? It was a luck of the roll, yo. Yeah. Yeah, that might have been tougher to like... To like get at him. Hack first. They did, yes. But like, yeah, the self-defense thing is... It just makes... There's more paperwork. You know what I'm saying? They're just unconscious right now. It's like, all right, let's go.

Like they're pulling, you know. Maybe next time they'll listen. Damn. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Now I'm going to bet that a bunch of you want to give feedback. Now there's a couple of different ways you could do that where I'll be a little faster in responding to you. You could do so on our Discord through our Patreon. Obviously, there's a bunch of people there to talk to. You could do so on our Facebook page, our Facebook group. I love to get discussions going on. I'm going to put a link to that in the description. And I'll be doing that in the next video.

But no matter what, try to tag me. Let me know what's going on. And I would love to hear your feedback. That's going to do it from us, everybody. If you didn't hear at the beginning of the episode, we want your videos for Theriathon this year. Send your videos with just messages to the community. Why do you listen to our show? What would you like to see? Let me know in the comments. And I'll see you next time. Bye. Thank you for listening to Theriathon this year. Send your videos with just messages to the community. Why do you listen to our show? What was your favorite moment of Arc4 so far?

Let us know. Send it to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. And we'll see you all next week. Until then, good luck with your games.