The Glass Ceiling

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[CLINKING] Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. I think they mean us. Oh, [BLEEP] Um-- [CLEARS THROAT] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't got to cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Howdy, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Dungeons of Randomness before you skip ahead. Couple of things I just wanted to say. First of all, thank you so much. I have spent the last couple of weeks emailing people, and some of you I haven't spoken to in years.

And there was a glitch in our inbox, and honestly, I was a little mortified to see that there were some people I just never got back to. If I somehow missed your email, please hit me up again at dandrpodcast@gmail.com, and I'll do my best. I went as far back as 2014 just looking for people. So again, thank you for your patience. I really appreciate it. Everybody I hit back was so understanding and nice. So thank you. I hope your week is off to a fantastic start. Hopefully we can keep you company a little bit and make your day just a little bit better while you're biking or jogging or at work or whatever.

Couple of quick announcements. First of all, I wanted to thank MusicD20 over on Patreon. We have their link in the description, and there's a good reason for that. They make fantastic D&D themed fantasy music. We know this because we're actually using those tracks in our show. There are hundreds on the website, and we really wanted to freshen things up. And they approached us, and after hearing their catalog, we were kind of over the moon with it. So they were kind enough to let us use some tracks. And thank you very much. Please go check out their stuff.

Secondly, August 28th, guys. August 28th, we'll be launching the second setting book, Kickstarter, The Adventure's Guide to Theria, Volume Two, T'Lor. We'll be coming to Kickstarter then, and we are so excited. We've been working on this for months. There's been a ton of things that we can't quite show yet, but we should be able to show in the next month or two, hopefully. And we really wanted to do more physical stuff this time. You guys had just a ton of wonderful suggestions. There were, you know, hundreds of you who took that survey. And thank you, because we kind of been staring at this so long that there's some no brainer stuff you guys came to us with.

And yes, obviously, of course, dice, things like that. So thank you very, very much. So without further ado, please enjoy today's episode. Let's hear from our sponsors for a couple of quick words, and then I'll see you at the end of today's episode. Let's do that thing where we go around the table, introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. Go around the table, start with Zach. What's up? My name is Zach and I play Paxton Warren on group Firebrand. And Kelsey. My name is Kelsey and I play Calypso Lovelace on group Firebrand. Thought, how are we doing these now?

I did we change it? I think that was a call back to like you said, I'm from group Firebrand. Oh, he's been doing that every time since. Right. I didn't pick up on that. Oh, my God. We have I think I do. Maybe I just think you've been doing as unconscious. I just. And Rob. Hey, I'm Rob. I'm playing Jolo Fane, a high elf warlock who wants to do Batman. You may get your chance. And Brie. Hi, I'm Brianna Marie, and I play when the half tiefling half halfling. I think I'm going to start calling her a he-fling or a taffling taffling. Taffling sounds like I think I like taffling.

All right. A taffling steel sole. That just makes me think your character's made out of saltwater taffy now, though. Delicious. And Jamie, I mean, you're pink, so that would be really adorable and delicious. Hi, I'm Jamie. I play Bolothius, the tiefling paladin on Firebrand. Guys, today's the day I feel it. You had some trials and tribulations. Obviously, it has not been an easy gig since signing up for it. But I feel like you're making progress. And. Today, you're kind of calling your shot. You're you're you got your you got your ball bat pointed to center field.

You you're you're going to go raid a drug den tonight. You had the help of the raven. And you're going to go quickly raid raid the weapons chest in in in the facility before they get a chance to lock everything up and confiscate it or whatever they're going to do, because, yeah, it's it's pretty sad. So. Before we jump to grabbing new weapons and armor and seeing what we got. Is there anything you'd like to do or say before we outfit you guys with new stuff? The second the raven leaves the alley, Beau is just going to say, Well, that was fucking weird.

It's fair. Yeah. I don't know. I think I think the guy has initiative. You and Jolo are still like drooling over. I'm sorry, I was still thinking about it, but what were we talking about? Well, I suppose if we have a deadline, we should go and outfit ourselves. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Can we do that? Do we have clearance? We don't not have clearance. Ah, we don't not. Double negative. OK. I say we see what's in the armory just in case it's critical for our mission. And when we get back, our new boss, we have one. We'll be delighted. Here's what we're going to do.

All right. We're going to picture it like like a caged off area. Right. And I'm picturing as, you know, you you open the lock on this thing. It wouldn't be that hard. Like you guys are, you know, you're kind of trusted with that stuff and you're all going to walk in. And what we're going to do is going down the line. We're going to roll a flat D10. And on a scale of one to ten, how awesome is the stuff that you're going to find? Now, this is going down the line for each one of you. So let's say you're all looking in different directions and you just go, oh, I could use this.

So no matter what you roll, this will be a thing that your character can use. But it's going to vary from person to person. So who's feeling the luckiest? Who wants to kick us off for the night? The first die roll. I can do it. D10, you said? A D10. Oh no. Oh, perfect. I'm using up the bad magic of the room. So that the rest of you can live. So again, no, it's something your character can use. It's a little hat for your demon. It's just a little hat. It's just that. And that's it. And it gives you a plus one to initiative because he looks really cute. It's it's a dagger, but slightly polished.

It is written off. So I'm going to give you a choice. OK, weapon or armor? Oh. See, I can't decide if it like I rolled a one, so. It won't be worse than what you're carrying. It won't be worse than what I have. It won't. But that would be silly. We're not doing silly. I just think it's new leather armor that screams when you sneak. I. And. I feel like I had that bad run where I missed three Eldritch blasts in a row, so I'm self-conscious, I guess, do the weapon. OK. Now it's not going to be fantastical because, you know, a one. But it'll be a step up in that. You know what?

We can give you. An infused quarterstaff, how about that? Infused with what? Sandalwood and lavender. Smells good vibes. Smells wonderful. It is you lay down next to it when you go to sleep, because this is a very calming sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a little vanilla and I'm just I drift off like an angel. So this is a plus one weapon and get plus two bonus to attack and damage rolls made with it. There is. A slight drawback. If it's unfashionable or like hideous, I can't use it. I can't. No, no, no. I have standards. So if you take this, here's what I want to do, because you rolled a one.

Uh huh. This is it's it's it's obviously a step up from what you have. I, I. If you roll a one at any point with this weapon, it's going to snap in half. You'll still have your other you'll still have your other staff. I mean, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. OK, like, what am I supposed to just say, like, yes or no based on that? Or what happens? Totally. Like, here's the thing. The only drawback. But but let me let me be clear. I get nothing if I say no. Right. Well, you roll one. Yeah. So I take the flimsy staff. OK, so you snap it in half on principle.

Oh, yeah. Crack it over my knee. If it breaks in half, then you got double staff. Yeah. And you're not well, the innuendo possibilities. If it breaks in half, I just go all night wing. It's like my it's like my tonka or whatever. Yep, yep, yep. No, no, no. I take it and I take my infused balsa wood staff and I appreciate it. It's it's it's great. And you may never. Here's the thing. Who knows how long it's going to take you to roll one? The only drawback would be you'd have to switch out weapons in the middle of combat, and that's going to slow you down a bit.

But like, who cares? Right. It's still a step up. It's a free weapon. Yay. Who's feeling luckier than that? Eh? Brie, so you brought up an excellent point. Yeah. In that your character kind of is a weapon. And yeah, I don't have any inventory like anything. Right. I was naked. It turns out. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to give you either some sort of piece of jewelry or some sort of an accessory that does something extra. Now, this is based on a scale of one to ten. So, boy, don't roll a one. I hope you get an energon cube because you need it. And your transformation.

Holy shit. We found the old spark. Gwen gets the Matrix of Leadership. Yep, that's it. Yes. One shall stand. She's going to get me the throne. I really wish I got this reference. Watch the transformers. It shows up. All right. Go Google the Matrix of Leadership. I'll wait. OK, fine. It's the thing that Shiloh moved like shoves in the Optimus Prime's chest or whatever. Kelsey. Kelsey. Yeah. No. OK. No, it's GLaDOS. It looks like a little GLaDOS. It does not. That's too. Her eyeball. The actual Transformers wiki picture for the Matrix of Leadership has the subtitle, You Put Your Life in the Coconut.

It does look like a coconut now that you say it. All right. So is that how they brought Optimus Prime back to life after they killed him to make more toys? Is that what I mean? No, no, no. What they did, actually, it was a great thing. So he passed it on to Rodimus, making him Rodimus Prime. And that was in the Transformers, the animated movie. Though they did resurrect Optimus later on in the show. But it was kind of a it was kind of a message to teach people, oh, you can't go back home again. And he came back, but he wasn't right in the head. So he kind of turned on everybody and tried to tried to kill them.

And like it was it was really sad. It was surprising. The Optimus Prime is Jesus and he died for our sins. Yes. And don't. So it's also it took place on a space station where the rest of the Autobots from the movie that died, like they're there. Like you get to see their corpses and like where it's really. It was really kind of a deep message for kids at the time. Like, don't you can't go back home again. I was like when Buffy tried to resurrect your mom. Yeah, I was like, that's fucked up anyway. Don't do that. OK, but the important part is, does Gwen get the matrix of leadership?

Good question. What? Here's what we're going to do, because I think this is awesome. Well, you said they had to be like jewelry, right? So that's like a diamond encrusted like wrapper chain. No, give her a tiara. Like Gwen would hate a tiara. Don't give her. I need you to do me a favor and pick a pick a color. Her can't be purple. Can't be. Pick a basic color. Pick a basic color. I was I was thinking, oh, I think it should match her skin pink. It's not a basic color. That's not a basic. OK, silver. OK, OK, we'll work with that. We'll work with that. How is silver a basic color?

It's not, but I'm just less basic than pink. I'm just used about what a basic color is. Like red, green, blue. I don't know how you guys had grounds as a kid. Like how is blue different than pink? It's a primary color. Jesus Christ. The entire book series excuse you. It feels like when the genie is like, make any wish. Another wish. The wish actually has to relate to putting in some way. My parents back. We're going to go. Silver is close enough. We're going to go with that. Pink is a normal color. It's not. Jesus. I don't like red. Pink is you add a color as it doesn't really exist.

That just makes it cooler. If you take red and you water it down, it's pink. I'm skipping you. No, I got it. Let's see. You're going to find this this tiny, this tiny box. It almost looks like like a hat box of some sort. Right. But it's decidedly more sturdy. It's made of this polished wood. There's a little latch on it. And there's something about it that you're just like, oh, cool. You can open it up and it's this metallic dragon mask. Yeah, that's so neat. Oh, you know, you could have told me to pick a dragon color and I would have. I just I was I wanted to bury the lead a little bit to kind of like, you know, pick the color of a dragon.

What did I get? Like I was trying to fucking like build it up. Jesus. So this would be a white dragon. Yes, but like most it kind of looks metallic because it's going to kind of match your your accent pieces. Here's the difficult. You're fine. I'm used to it. So I. My heart. This is supposed to be my reward for rolling well. Cool dragon mask. I love it. All right. It gets cool. So. If you put this on. She would immediately. OK, so your body's going to kind of morph and match the rest of this mess that living metal is going to kind of like. So the mask is almost a part of you now, right?

It doesn't change your face shape. It just like it's kind of like sealed on you. Like it's hard to like. Oh, like the Goosebumps episode. Kind of. Yes. It's yes. Oh, I hated it. She can. Absolutely. Yes. OK, but like like other people, like it's it's not one of those things where in combat it's like, oops, you lost it like. So you're going to get you're going to get a bunch of cool shit, right? So one, you're going to have resistance to cold damage just inherently. So damage absorption, Dragon Magistry. While you're wearing no armor, you can add your charisma bonus to your armor class if you want to do.

So this is like a big legendary thing. So we can we can we can kind of use that. You get dragon breath now, dragon sight. You essentially. Yeah. Yeah. That is so dope. Cool. You also get two bonus things that are. Crazy, like for for our world, what we've established, one, you are technically a legendary creature. Which means you have one legendary action. What? Oh, my God. Really? If you fail a save at any point, you can just choose not to to fail and succeed instead. You get to do that one time. Even death saves? Any save at all. Any save. Oh, that's so cool. This is like better than the legendary stuff people were getting at Theriath on.

Well, you can see you can see why this was locked up. And one more thing you can say that one day. One per day. Yeah, you get like you got a long rest. A boss monster. It's kind of one more thing. You can now speak Draconic, the big basic voice, which means you can understand Draconic and it not kill you. Oh, wait, when I talk, is it going to kill other people? If you speak Draconic? Yeah. That feels like a very easy way to kill people. So don't do it. But what if we just walk into a room of baddies? Yeah. Hi, guys. I feel like it's very easily. I assume there's a constitution saving throw in there.

Well, OK, there's a few things to it, right? Because you're not a dragon. It's not. I'm not a right. Just like the just like the the legendary resistance thing. It's a much smaller version of that. So. You could kind of hurt yourself in the process, right? You could kind of hurt yourself in the process. No, you can explode heads, but like there's a big drawback to it. You need to be careful. Right. That's all I'm going to tell you. So I love this. Now, you know what a 10 gets you guys. So get 10 guys. It's really cool. When he says natural color, he means the color of dragons.

You know, a natural color. There's not going to be too many of those guys. I'm going to be honest with you. There's not there's not a set of dragon. Yeah. I'm so I get dragon feet next and then dragon hands. And then we all come together to make one dragon. Oh, my God. Yes. Let's listen. We're going. Like, we are already going full on the superhero thing. Chaos, I kind of feel like I was a big middle finger to you. I'm sorry. Like, that wasn't like planned. Like you want to hook up with when we could work on that, like or trade, maybe there's a trade. These I don't know.

We'll talk later. I'll say to you. Why the bone dragon? It's not the bone dragon. Why not? Both? That's fair. All right. Who's next? Who's feeling it? Well, now I'm terrified. OK, so we've had a valley and a peak. Yeah, this is literally like the rain. I think Jamie's do. I can go. I'm I'm having a sneezing fit, but I will go. OK. Ha. Eh. Eh. Eh. Um, please choose weapon or armor for me. Oh, it's tough. OK, I already have the plus one weapon, so I suppose I'll do armor. That's probably that's probably so like, are you thinking chain mail or shield? Um, I don't think I can wield a shield because my weapon is Halberd.

Oh, that's right. You're using double. Yeah, that's right. So let's go chain mail. Yeah, let's go. Let's go chain mail. How about we keep this? Yeah. How about we keep this simple and say just a plus one chain mail? OK, so that's that's a good thing. Probably going to need that. Boom. Who's next? I guess it's between me and Zach, huh? Yeah. You want to just do it at the same time? Yeah. Yeah. You just just roll at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Three, two, two and a half. Oh, OK. One. Go. Yeah. Oh, hey. Look at us. OK. OK. Not too bad. OK, let's start with Paxton real quick. Weapon or armor?

Armor, please. OK, so that's a six. So we're going to. Yeah, OK. I think I got something for you. Well, this was close to an eight, man. Oh, that's OK. That's OK. What about some elven chain mail? So the cool thing about this is that it's way lighter than what you're wearing now. It's technically considered medium armor, but it offers more protection. Had to be elves. I got another thing for you, if that's OK. No, no, no, just kidding. Elves are OK. Elves are OK. Paxton Warren. Yeah. Paxton for mayor. There's always like a press guy behind him. When he says something, he just looks behind him.

He just writes down and scurries away. So, well, that's there. So the armor is lightweight. Is it normal? Is it like a plus one or anything? Yes. No, it's more protection than what you have now. So it's so it is. And you said it counts as lightweight medium. Oh, medium, medium. OK. Yes. So check this out. So, yep. So basically, you no longer get a penalty to your your sneak or anything like that. Nice. But it does give you some some extra protection there. So it's nice. And Kels. Yeah. OK, you got a seven. Weapon armor or artifact? Oh. What does artifact mean? Like what what are artifacts?

A big wide net is the weapon or armor. You know what you're getting. An artifact could be all kinds of stuff, but it's in the weapons locker, which means, yeah, at least it's kind of dangerous. It could be used for stuff. You've got to go with artifact. Let's go do it. There's a couple of minutes here. Let's say pick one, two or three. It's yeah, they're they're all drastically different to more choices. I know. Three. Three. Unless you think one or two is better. I mean, it's it's kind of it's it's it's, you know, it's up to your own judgment what's better or not.

That's a cop out. OK. Do you OK? Do you know what? What if I came up with a one word description for each thing? Oh, yes. Yes, that's fun. OK. Number one is beefy. Beef. Number two is scuttle. Number three is animal. Whoa. Oh, man. OK, I'm I'm in between a scuttle and animal. Let's do animal. Go for it. Got it. So you're going to find you're essentially going to find a deed. In here now, just no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is this is this isn't property. This is this is a possession. So we bought a suitcase. We bought that inheritance. So you're you're going to be kind of looking around and there's this little little scroll, like a little like a little wooden scroll holder.

And you're going to just like mess it's like, oh, this is probably a spell or something like that. What this is is a paper that grants you ownership. Of a special vehicle. Mm hmm. It is. The Batmobile. It is a double wide weaponized chariot. It is large enough to haul around the entire team. Oh my God. Is it like where is it like located? So it is awesome. Essentially, it is being it's kind of like part that's being taken care of. But it comes with. Let's call them special horses. Uh huh. In that they are essentially magic robots. Oh, yes. Yeah. I'm a magic robot.

I know I was going to say. Pull our chariot. No. Can I? So cool, we're superheroes. We are superheroes now. Coming superhero. I mean, I'm a literal dragon who can shape shift. Jamie's a mutant. Kelsey's got a bitchin chariot. Ciolo and the headquarters. Yeah, I have a house in the car. Like what is happening? Yeah, Ciolo has a stick. Yeah, you really got the bum end of the deal. And a little demon person. He does have a little. My thing is kind of for all of us, so it's we can all enjoy the fact that I'm all right. I'll make it. I'll make it. Well, OK, I I do feel bad that literally everyone else got something cool.

So what I did was I sat aside something just for Giolo. A but this is more of a role play thing. If you're interested. Magic calm does go on. It's called an alchemy jug. Continue going on. Think of like a think of like a jug you blow into like a like that kind of joke. Shine jug. Yes. You basically get to name the liquid that's in it. And it magically creates that liquid. How often? Well, there are charges. This ceramic jug appears to be able to hold a gallon of liquid and weighs 12 pounds, whether full or empty. Sloshing sounds can be heard. You can use an action and name one liquid from the table below.

There's a bunch of liquids. Afterward, you can uncork the jug as an action and pour that liquid out up to two gallons per minute. The maximum amount of liquid in the jug can produce depends on the liquid you named. So it's yeah. Are there any limits to like what kind of liquid? So there's a list. There's a list. There's there's totally a list here. You know what? I'm just going to slide it onto you. Right. Jill is about to just be drunk 24/7. No, this is this is to impress people. This is not it's not for leisure. This is to grease the wheels. It's it's interesting because one of them is literally mayonnaise.

And yeah, that's that's interesting. So I will let you replace mayonnaise with either ranch dressing or lube. Totally up to you. I wonder which one. Well, hold on. There is oil is already an option. So I don't I don't need lube. But I feel like that's is that lamp oil or like olive oil? I mean, any oil is a lubricant if you try hard. What if it was like magically infused lube? I'm getting a look from my wife. I don't think lamp oil would feel good. I anything that's flammable, I would not rather than place. I feel like the friction alone would be enough to. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, olive oil. Fine. Like it's it's a little icky, but like and watch out for infections. But like. Doesn't smell great after a bit, I assume. Yeah. Oh, with great power comes great responsibility. I'll figure out what to do with this. OK, good. I just I want it. I didn't want you to walk away. You're going to get a version of our home game. I didn't want you to walk away completely empty handed. Oh, honey, salt water. This it's not a long list, but it's got some interesting. It's it's got some stuff. I'm sure you can do things with it. Acid man. All right.

I don't want to push our luck, but. Is there anything in this weapons room that would be like a one time explosive use sort of like, oh, we're, you know, going to need this specifically for? I know we all just got stuff, but specifically for this mission, this would be really useful. OK, OK. I like where you're going. I like where you're going. May I add on to it? I will absolutely let you do that. If you give me a D10 in the dice tower and depending on the size of the D10, that'll be the reliability of the thing that you find. OK, will I know ahead of time the reliability or will that be a surprise?

It's a surprise. Now, if you OK, I'll put it this way. You probably don't want to be handling a bomb with a one. Yeah, yeah. But I could choose to leave it behind. So good. And I feel as if if anyone were to carry it. I mean, Bo has this like weird thing that protects her from stuff, so I'm going to do it. OK, could you, you know, you see down in the right hand corner, that little die tower with the yeah, just drag a D10. Just yeah, just drop it on in there. Oh, that was spooky. We saw like the shadow of the dice, but not what it actually rolled. OK, so what I'm going to do is pretty strange.

I'm going to take a picture of it just in case later, like no matter what happens. Because it's something bad. No, like here's the thing. I don't usually do hidden roles, so this is me. Just, you know, just just insurance. There's proof, like make sure that's in the in the thing I pointed at it. Yeah, so that you can see. And for the record, if we remember, Bo was against using explosives to like blow up a boat. But I do think that having that option, she would take. It's just not going to be the first option when we get there, obviously. So you're going to find essentially this this metal canister, two metal canisters kind of like that.

It kind of almost resembles two two liter bottles of like soda. I'm not going to name a brand of soda unless they sponsor us. Could be Coke, could be Pepsi. I don't know. So. In those in those jugs are are two different colors of liquid, and there's a little like window in each one of them, so you can see. And there's a portion in between them that is sealed off. If you pull this little record, those two things mixed together and now it becomes an explosive. It'll make a big, big boom. OK, OK. How sturdy does the thing in between the two things look? How much do you how much would Gwen know about explosives?

Have you been trained with explosives at all? Oh, then probably you wouldn't know. No. I have a question about my cool mask. Sure. Sure. Is everything that's listed under here accurate? Like the specifically I'm looking at Winter's Fury and that's really baller. I I do not see a reason to take anything away from it. Sweet. I just I could tell it wasn't very in specific because no part and I was like, oh, maybe that's not true, but that's really cool. So I get one D8 cold damage to my melee attacks. So that's really cool. OK, Gwen's going to stand up and like wearing her dragon thingy.

And it kind of I like to imagine that it like kind of fades to her pink as you get closer to the nails and like she's all shimmery and stuff. And she's going to be like, all right, I'm going to say it. I won. Bow before me, mortals. Paxton is going to look at this armor, this I don't know what elven armor or elven chainmail looks like, but he's going to just just give it a look over and just just just just give a nod over to Gwen and ask, well, what do you have there? I found this box and it had this mask in it, and now I'm a dragon. So I think I won.

What did you guys find? So is the mask reactive, your metal? I think so. Like she's going to look over her arms and like like tap like I can't find an edge. Oh, no. Am I a dragon? And then she'll take it off for a second and be like, no, OK, I'll put it back on. No, it's just the mask. It's cool. That's wow. Wonder how long that's been down here. What do you have? Calypso holds up a piece of paper. It's like it's a date to an automated chariot. Something about horses that aren't horses. It's it'll probably be more clear once we actually see it in person. But judging by the dimensions listed, I I think it might be able to fit all of us.

Does it say where it's parked? Does it say where it's parked? Absolutely, yes. OK, that would be really shitty. Yeah, no, it's like somewhere in the city is like you're just clicking a key fob. But it's metal horses going, hey. How far away is it? It's it's about like 15 minutes away. But this was so this was a vehicle that was commissioned a long time ago. I was wondering how they got this thing. Yeah, no. So it was code named Inferno, and they just they just never used it. I guess they never found either a reason to or like think of this is like. Taxpayer money.

Yeah. Think of this. OK, I'm going to walk the line here. Think of this is like a police force that kind of has a tank in a small town that doesn't need one, but they have a tank. So like it's like they've just been sitting there for a little bit, but it looks badass. It's about 15 minutes away. I might not be the best thing to use for our stealth mission. I don't know if we could at least move it nearby, maybe in case we need to make a getaway. But it apparently it's called Inferno, so that's the name. Be interesting to see if nothing else. It is not a subtle vehicle.

I was getting that feeling. If I've given you the impression of this thing has has flames airbrushed on the side like. Calypso, you said you found this deed down here. You sure it's not a party for inheritance? A courier didn't come down here and give it to you or anything? I'm pretty sure. Yes, though. That's amazing. Did another weird piece of paper that grants me ownership over some. It happens to you a lot. Not until today, but. Yeah, it's. I guess I'll add it to my stack of. This is weird. I don't think that's legally binding. I don't think you could just walk into a room, pick up a lease and walk away.

Shh. You're ruining the immersion. I don't think Gwen would bring that up. I don't think Gwen is the one who would point that out. I think we're all kind of aware, but also like, if we just like take it we now have a place to park it at. That's technically why it's like, you know, it's not like anyone else is doing anything with it. The entire premise of Dungeons and Dragons is going into places, taking what doesn't belong to you and just repossessing it unilaterally. Like, don't worry about it. Possession is nine tenths of the law. Yes, that's yeah. It's like when you start wondering why everyone's putting up with Link breaking all of the pots, like you just don't.

Yeah. So it's treatment of chickens. Bow and Tack then have like fancy new armor on that's looking at Chiolo like. What? I got a rock. Yeah. You know. I bet these are going to come in handy someday. All right, so I'm just going to hang on to them. And one day when we're all in a bind. Y'all are going to be thanking me. I will take my jug and I will take my stick. And I will question whether I am actually in the service of God, because this seems. I'm just. Please carry on. I'm just going to look at these. Is it like a karma thing where maybe you get like stored up good luck to use when you need it?

Yeah, I certainly hope so. Yeah, that'd be good. Well, it's some a very nice stick. Chiolo, think of it this way. You're so lucky, like we have the luck of friendship, togetherness. Oh, what else do you need? Well, I feel lucky just being around all of you right now. That's the that's the spirit. We laugh, but when the drug dealers challenge you to a hoedown, it's going to be all jello all the time. The real power we walked away with that day was the power of friendship. That's what I'm saying. Paxton standing there in his new sparkly armor. I mean. So is it time?

I suppose it is. So you're not taking you're not taking Inferno. Not very incognito. Yeah, yeah, that's the we could just ride it in there, just like, you know, just burst it open to the front door. Did you want to move it closer for a getaway, though? Yeah, that was my suggestion. We go like forget it and then maybe we'll. Well, it could be like backup just in case we need to retreat. We could have it there. It does have like artillery on the sides, I think. I this isn't accurate, but I pictured in Mad Max the the giant truck with the fucking guitar player on the front of it, just flames shooting out the like, that's what I picture.

It's not that's not accurate, but you know. But how does it work? Like if I just like this have like keys, like if I park it on the street, could anyone just walk up and take it? It's so, OK, one, it's magic. It's not like. But that's key. Essentially, that paper is what kind of magically binds it to you. So if someone were to steal that paper. Yeah, they can, you know, so it's like a scroll. So it's like magic. They have your keys. Yes. What happens if I eat the paper? Well, you'd have the ability to use the chariot for a while. And then no one would ever want to use the chariot.

Yeah, no. And then and then you're shit out of luck, as it were. Ah, nice. Oh, OK, cool. So you are taking the chariot like within a couple of blocks, basically. Yeah, I mean, like far enough away that it's not going to like. OK, so if it's possible, like if we start moving and it starts like blaring sirens or something, then we can maybe not. But it's just the cops theme. Wow. Such a visceral reaction. So you're going to go to this little this little garage, basically where it's kept. And there's this big tarp kind of thing over top of it, so you pull it off, you're going to see.

This this this red, yellow, orange, like it's it's kind of. It's it's kind of like like a holographic paint job on the side of it, so it changes based on how you're looking at it. But there is enough room for all of you to get in this thing. And. It's it's deep enough that you're not all on top of each other. And there's kind of like a guardrail in the back so that you don't have to worry about being tossed out of it. But you notice that there are no there doesn't appear to be weapons on it. But you're wondering if that changes if you get on it or whatever.

But there are also these two very large metallic kind of armored horses, which are very much automatons. Like they're very they're obviously not horses. Oh, that's good. They don't have to be fed. That's money. So, you know. Yeah, that's. I'm close. It's probably going to like. Like even like knowing like this is not a real horse, like they're probably going to like pet the noses a little bit. Also, it's cool. It's a robot horse. I've never seen anything like this before. Yeah, it's a little off putting, like I had imagined. Like it's not you know what I mean?

Like. Yeah. Yeah, there's definitely like, oh, this is weird and a bit unsettling. But then I guess get in and see. If anything happens. The second you step onto this thing, right. There's a panel in the front where clearly, like the driver is supposed to stand there, rings for the horses and stuff, which are more for show than anything. You can give commands to them verbally. Oh, that's good. But yeah, I mean, you don't have license. It's so like you can pull back on it and stop them and yah and all that stuff. But more importantly, there is this crystal ball, kind of a roller ball.

Like if I'm going to toss this reference out and realize how old I am. So in the arcade, there used to be older games with roller balls on them instead of controllers and I'm a thousand. So basically it's like that. Think of a mouse like that once. That's yes. That was mid 90s. Yep. Trackball mouse similar. So yeah, it's something like that. But there are different colors signifying what mode you're in. So right now and it kind of displays it right above that. There's this kind of like like like like almost like a magic LED. And it's like, OK, you're in you're in transport mode right now.

It's just regular transport mode. But there are other modes you can cycle in between three other modes, actually. Well, I'm going to try them all out. So you see what the options are. But go look so gestures for everyone to get into the chariot in case there's like going to be fire shooting out or something. That's a very valid concern. But I mean, maybe one of these is a stealth mode. I don't know. OK, well, we'll get in. Yeah, I'm going to the safe place. It's all a huddle in, gang. So these horses are acting like horses, like they're they're clip clop in there.

You know, they're they'll make horse noises, but it's almost like projected from a speaker. It's weird. It's very return to Oz. It's it's just a little off putting. Yeah. Right. It's like, oh, you're in the shape of something beautiful, but there's no soul there. So again, there are three other modes. And basically, you just kind of spin the ball forward to cycle to the next mode or spin it back to, you know, it's almost like changing gears. Or you just go, yeah. Are we going for a little joy ride here? Like giving a test run little. See if it works. You know, take it take it like going around a block or two to get a feel for it before we head towards our destination.

Yeah, that's. This is now clip. So this this is your contract here, your deed. So you're in charge, you're driving feel free. How do you move this thing? That's my next question. I feel like that's natural, like it's just and now what? Calypso's, how do we move this? You get the reins or the yah, you can tell. Calypso picks up the reins kind of like very like gently and just like they're ready for like at any moment for this thing to like do something. But just like picking up the reins, like let's see if that does anything. And and the horse is kind of ready up when you do that.

Like they're like, OK, let's let's do this. We're we're on the job. And if you kind of give them like a little little bit, they're going to start kind of galloping forward at like a really kind of a slow pace, honestly. But you guys are going to leave this little garage and. This is a bulky vehicle, but certainly not bulky enough to get you stuck. In most streets, there are certain alleys I would not take this down, but like, yeah, no, it's it's it's kind of a it's kind of a neat way to get around so far. Yeah, let's go. This is great. So imagine metal hooves on cobblestone.

It's it's a little loud. And obviously you're rolling, you're rolling down the street here and everything. So it's not a it's not a super stealthy vehicle, but it was not designed for that. The front of this chariot is is kind of sectioned off so that it looks like it could, you know, absorb arrows or something like that. So at least up to your your midsection is kind of covered. So that's a bonus. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to not be hit by arrows when I'm driving my cool robot chariot. To the warehouse? Yeah, let's go. And like, definitely, I imagine everyone's probably a little bit like, like, Clipso like definitely starts to get into it as it goes.

Like, OK, yeah, this is pretty cool. They start to like grin and having some fun with this. And so about 10 minutes later, you guys are going to be down by the docks. I imagine you you dismounted your chariot. You you kind of walk the last two blocks just to count. It's like, OK, make sure we're you know, like it would be really easy to see us coming or hear us coming or whatever. So it's like, OK, Digit, you're kind of like sneaking around the corner. And everyone do me a favor. Give me a perception check. Oh, good. OK, so Calypso, Paxton, Jiolo, you're going to see the warehouse in question.

This is a pretty bulky thing. And there are people moving in and out of it. You're also going to see in and out next to next to all this going on where there aren't really a bunch of people. You're going to see a rope dangling on the side of this building leading up to the roof. And you're going to see kind of a small hunched over figure on top of the roof kind of blending in with the night. Does his beak stand out? I don't see anything, but only when only when they look up. Otherwise, it's just kind of part of the silhouette. Jiolo just looks mesmerized up near the top of the building.

He goes, I'll go talk to him alone. He just goes toward the rope. Can I get an athletics check, please? Yeah, sure. Oh, no. If you could get up there. That's a problem. The four, I don't I don't know what our dice even. Really? What? So this OK, there may be a little performance anxiety here. Like this, this sweaty palms, sweaty, sweaty. Oh, it's like, oh, man, the night air chaps my shirt. And like, what is wrong with you? Go meet the raven. Check this pulse. So you guys are going to you guys are going to watch him like like grab and then pull himself up and then slide down like twice.

He's like, OK, hold on, hold on, hold on. Like just a little slick out here. But just imagine the whole time a black figure just looking over you at the top. You want to try it one more time? I don't know. You think you seem to be rolling between. The very best and very worst show. Yeah. Oh, when it I mean, when there's no one to impress, I can roll whatever I want, right? And I can help him. Oh, yeah, you guys can. OK, that's OK. OK, better. So I think it's going to. Yeah, he's going to start to make his way up. The question is, was the raven looking that first time?

You know what? It's real flat 20. Well, I can always watch. He's always looking. Yeah, we both knew that. Oh, geez. Oh, he is the night. You actually heard him go like when you fucked up. It's like, oh, that's got to. That's really unfortunate. You really need to work on your upper body strength. Paxton, you're up. All right. Oh, OK, that's a five. So it's not my fault. It's a long way up. That's the problem. It's it's you know what it is? It's the rope is really fine. You used to rougher rope and this is like on the silk. Like it's too it's it's just it. You need more traction.

It's Paxton. He's climbing up. He's like, who's who's what is this? Oh, oh, no. Paxton, Paxton, Boccicet. Giolo assumes Paxton is helping him save face and he just mouths down the rope. Thank you. Give me one more. OK, OK. Second attempt. It's like, oh, wow, OK. Paxton is going to look down in his hands, how wet and slick they are from the sweat. Wipe them off on his elven chainmail. Try again. Oh, slightly better. You're going to get up there. It's a nine. You're going to get up there, but it's ugly. Like it's like those last few feet. Like you're just like you're like kicking your legs and stuff trying to like it's it's a little it's a little.

You know what? I blame my elven chainmail. It's 20 pounds. Oh, who's next? Who's feeling it? Man, like Calypso is like watching all of this happen and like they they're not the best at athletics to begin with. So see, like Paxton, that's like, oh, no, Lansing at Bow and spot me, maybe. Oh, you want to boost? Oh, that probably wouldn't hurt. Go ahead and give me an athletics with advantage. Yeah. Just a two. Oh, no. Well, OK, with advantage, that's a five. So you're going to get as far as Bo is lifting you and no further. I was just I was just saying Calypso, you have to grab the rope.

Calypso, Calypso, the rope might be a little slick. At this point, a little sweaty. So at this point for G.O. his his perception of this incident has has looped all the way around. It's not that everyone else is botching to help. Yeah, it's that the raven is just so good at climbing so good. The raven and his ledge. He's amazing. Like the raven's going to kind of look over beside. Do you need help? Don't do that to help if help is off. They are not too proud. They are not here to be the rope quieting person. They are here to play music. So, OK, what they're going to do is they're going to tie off rope at the top here and lower this grappling hook down.

And it's it's big enough that you could just put your foot in it, hold the rope and they're going to pull you up. Hey, see, that's not that embarrassing. That's pretty stylish. So they're going to do that for all three of you. And it's a little slower, but I want to try to climb it. OK, sure. You can do that. Give me an athletics. Oh, my God. Why doesn't it need the rope? She just goes up the wall. OK, for everyone at home, Gwen just rolled a 20. That was a that was a crit. So you're fine. And I have plus three. Gwen is also like a cyborg, so I think that's cheating.

It might be. She's going to get up to the top and like cross her arms and look down at you guys like. I don't get it. This isn't helping with the ego thing that she has. Now she's a dragon. So we got we got Bo. Bo, do you want to do you want to ride up or you want to climb up? I'll take a ride. I don't care. OK, sweet. So going to lift you. I imagine you're getting lifted next to Gwen as Gwen's like just tumbling up the rope easily like it's fine. Granted, so she is. I don't I know I bring up her smallness a lot, but as someone who is very small in elementary school and they made you climb the rope, it's a lot easier if you're small.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Do you think I ever climbed a rope? No, like, no, never. It was fun. I look it's not about how fun it was. One, I'm afraid of heights. So that would be less fun then. Yeah, no, it's not. It's not. I could never do the rock climbing thing either. I it's just it's insane. And it's like, what am I, a Navy SEAL? Like what? Fucking I was in math class before this. I'm not like. I went up like a little spider monkey. So I imagine Gwen does it. So you're on top of this roof and the cool night sky is just kind of kissing you all as you kind of wipe the perspiration off from climbing up or riding up.

In that case, probably not a lot of perspiration. There is this large window at the top, you kind of look down and the raven's going to pull you over. It's like, look. And as you look down, you're going to see you're going to see these these thugs moving boxes and this really large goliath wearing this, this, this, this bear skin kind of suit draped over top of them. Just kind of crossing his arms, watching everything. So a couple of things as you. This is the first time you've gotten pretty close to the raven. And you might be expecting a larger figure like someone six, seven feet tall, something like that.

And it's kind of tough to tell because they're kind of covered in this feathery cloak and they're they're always kind of hunched over. But they appear to be kind of smaller, like maybe four and a half, five feet somewhere in there. And he's going to point out down below that there's there's these containers of like rice bags. So if you were to jump and land there, you'd be fine. Right. But don't miss the rice bags, otherwise it's it's going to be it's going to be a bad time for everybody. And he's. He's saying. We could either jump in and get the drop on them or.

We could try to climb down when no one's looking. And the way you guys kind of climbed up. We might want to jump in. I'm going to level with you. Jason, how like far down is it? It's if you were to put it's it's a good ball damage. Oh, yes. It's a good 30 feet. Like I'm just like close to like to kind of thinking maybe I should just stay up here and support from the distance. Did you I'm sorry. Did you say how many there were? I know you said there was the Goliath. Give me a perception check, everybody, to see if you can get an accurate count. My perception blows.

Oh, you're due, though. Oof. Am I? Pretty good. Am I due? Well, OK, you're due for it. I've gotten two all night long. But that means the encounter is going to go so much better for you. I got a three. I hope I take my luck out right before the fight. So it looks like you're counting six, maybe seven. So let's assume eight. Couple of them look the same, like they look scruffy and just kind of like shuffling back and forth and stuff. And you can you can see that one of these crates are open and there appear to be wrapped up bags of different products. Mostly this looks like Oranash and you can see some snake vein kind of sitting sitting on the side there, too.

So this looks like they're they're definitely trying to distribute. Man, if I wasn't playing, though, I would just drop this bomb in there, but that's not going to work, so. Preferably, you want to confiscate all that contraband down there, so we have something to turn in. When this is all over. Worst case scenario is destruction, anything like that, if we can subdue these people down there as quietly as possible, I guess. You don't want to have backup from outside since we're we're jumping in here, apparently, because my hands are still a little sweaty from that rope.

We all agree it was a sweaty rope, but you know. I didn't notice that. But you said what? I didn't. Anyways, I have a no spell that could at least me get down there easily and quietly. That's one less thing to worry about, at least. Right. And you know, I was thinking not all of us have to jump down there at once. If someone could have enough range to stay up here where it's nice and safe, that could be a benefit. Jump down later, if you so choose. Take a rope. But we shouldn't just give up this vantage point that easily. I can do range. That's that's mostly what I do.

So, yeah, we might have a smaller group going down there. If that makes more sense to keep people up here safe so they can do their thing, then so be it. I will be jumping down. Jason, could we have a map? Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. I'm not sure how viable that would be, because like 30 feet is already like for spells. Yeah, that's like half my range. It's still pretty good, though. That's in your range so you can just sit up there. I'm definitely a ground floor person. I will be going down. I mean, like, Clips was definitely like not jumping down there in the first wave.

Sure, but I do have Feather Fall. That's what Clips was referencing earlier. And I can pass that at a higher level to get more than one person. But you probably do like me and two other people max. Yeah, I could probably hit the rice, but there's a part of me that's like, if I don't, that could go very poorly. Right. And like, I'm holding a bomb if I don't hit the rice. Oh, yeah, you could go really, really poorly. So I'm like, maybe I rappel down. Feather Fall Jamie. Just Feather Fall Beau. So picture yourself. Hold on a second. I'll draw a little square so you can see it.

So picture yourself above everything like this, like you're up on the roof. And actually, it's probably a little big. But like, you get it like like that. Boom. Right. And we are between 20 and 30 feet from the ground. 30. 30. OK. 30 feet above the ground. I was going to ask for specifics on that. And so, like, presumably there are people like everywhere. So if you like drop down, be like immediately surrounded. Well, they were unloading stuff from the docks. OK, so they're closer to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's one of those things where you have the complete element of surprise here.

So as long as as long as you don't shock master this thing and just trip as you walk in, you're great. I feel like I'm going to trip when I walk in. So magic people. So Gwen's going to turn to Calypso and Yolo and maybe the Raven. We still don't really know. Probably a rogue. Is there anything you can do to distract them while we climb down the rope? Or hit them or something? Eldritch Blast is like a spooky rage, right? Yeah, it does. Let's see here. Fireball would be pretty distracting. And we got fireball. I do not have that one. I have Eldritch Blast is 120 feet.

But I mean, also, if I fire that from up here, all the attention will be drawn up here, right? We're like, yeah, they're going to watch you go. I mean, yeah, I have minor illusion, but that's not really I don't. That's a cantrip. I don't know how much good that can do. Probably wouldn't work super well. I mean, I guess we already have the element of surprise. We do. And there's a big part of me that's like, OK, Gwen, we'll jump down. But like the last time Gwen went headfirst into a thing, it went very poorly. She changed classes. Yeah. Here's the thing, though.

Is it real hard for a minute? Is it like the Yips? Because like you, you couldn't be more different than when you jumped in last time. Like you're a robo dragon woman like you. Like, OK, I'm going to jump in. So I thought, is there any way do we think there's any way we can kind of like divide and conquer? Right. Like like get like maybe two of them to come outside and drop them and then even have better numbers or something? I think they're all outside. All the people, they're not all outside. No, they're inside. They're moving around like there's a couple of people from a window.

Yeah. So this is like this is like Rainbow Six seed shit. Like you're just like falling in like flashbang flashbang. And you're just taking everybody out. That's the aim. I can give grandfather fall to other people besides me. So Bo, because Bo's the explosives. But who else wants the sure no fall damage? Probably either Jolo or Paxton, because like, yeah, I can. I'll survive if even if it goes poorly, I'll probably survive. So probably. If all fails, Jolo can actually like burn a spell slot for the encounter on fly and just fly in there. But I just know he has that.

So that's very fun. Yes. Yes. That's all the more reason for Jolo to hang back than to be part of the second group. Yeah. Yeah. We're not part of the initial shock team. I don't think Paxton definitely wants to go in like first as possible. Like, yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. And Gwen would too. Yeah. So this is not just so. Yeah. So Calypso will like touch like Bo and Paxton on the arms and like mutter a few words. And that's a spell slot. Aw. It's perfect. Yeah. So that's yeah. So we have like a minute for created the spell like the first 60 feet per round until the spell ends.

Take no falling damage and can land on your feet. And as soon as you do that, Paxton is going to nod and say to everyone, we can do this, everyone, we can. This is our chance. We've had a lot of mistakes, but this moment right here, we can conquer it. He's going to touch Calypso, Gwen, Jolo and Bo, he's going to cast Bless. Make sure you guys good to go. And he's going to now this this window, right? It's like, is it is it? Basically, you're busting through. Right. OK, so he's just going to. There's no way to open it. OK, so it's just it's just a flat window one way.

It's kind of like it's it's so filthy that it's kind of like shut. Like it's kind of like sealed shut. So even if I did try to pry this open, it's going to go. Yeah. Worst case scenario, it'll be super loud. I feel like we talked through this whole plan. And then Jolo turns to the raven and brushes his long hair out of his eyes and says, what about you? How will you be going in? And then he does a little like shimmy. Wait, wait, wait. No, he just turns. He just turns on the dreamy eyes. He just like Jolo brushes the hair out of Jolo's eyes reaches. So, OK, OK, OK.

I assume the breeze has whipped it into his vision a little bit. So he makes it back around his ear as he makes eye contact with the raven. It's a cool night air. Yeah. Well, if the plan is to bust this window and jump in, I'm going to aim for the rice and then. I'm going to fire at two of them. Hopefully we can incapacitate them. Jolo. Let that hang in the air for a moment. And he goes. That seems like a smart plan, you're really smart. And then he backs away. And he's like he gives him like the like two fingers at his eyes and then two fingers at the raven's eyes, like I'll be watching you.

Good luck everyone. And Calypso is also going to like. I want to give a bardic inspiration to Gwen so I can do that because it's a little something since I couldn't give you the feather fall. So here's the thing. Uh huh. The people who have feather fall have a guaranteed I'm not going to break my legs today. Woohoo. The people who are just jumping in and aiming for that rice sack. If you hit the rice sack, you automatically get a plus five to your first initiative roll. Oh, nice. That's dope. And if I go, however. Yeah. If you really beef this, there's consequences for that, but we'll deal with it.

So is the sacrobatics? Oh, yeah. Oh, thank God. So is it just you who doesn't have it? I think I'm the only one because Jolo's not going to be down yet. Jolo's going to be the the the siege from above. Yeah. Because they haven't. And with bardic inspiration, by the way, the way it works is that you could wait until after you roll the dice. But before the DM tells you whether or not it worked. OK, so if this goes poorly, Jason, when we feather fall down, is that like stealthfully or are we all just going in together? Well, if the glass is busted? No. OK. Because like and I'm jumping down, it's going to be loud like me.

And the right. Yeah, it's going to be loud. Yeah. The other call is very like, I mean, you're right at the sense close to 60 feet per round. That's still pretty fast. Yeah. You don't take damage and you land on your feet. So, yeah. So you're basically you're going in, but, you know, you're yeah, you're going to be safe. So this is going to be a totally super awesome superhero entrance. Yeah. Let's see what happens with Gwen and the Raven. So I want to do the thing where Bo like falls on her knee, like Captain America, and then just like slow rises up. I don't I don't want to add to this, Bree.

Uh huh. But the Raven has that cloak, so the Raven's going to be fine, probably. Like it's like it's like that, you know. All you have to do is nail this. OK. OK. But if I roll poorly, don't tell me whether or not or middling. Don't tell me because I might use the Bardic Inspiration. OK. OK. All right. Give me an acrobatics check. 20. So you're fine. You're fine. So you could go. We were all so worried about that. Gwen is just going to drunk dive through this glass just to kind of like protect their face and stuff like that. And they are going to roll in midair so that they kind of distribute their weight a bit, slam into these rice sacks as glass rains down from this window.

And the Raven is going to be right in after you. And everybody, everybody with team Featherfall is in. Yes, Paxton is going to jump into a flying squirrel down. OK, what's wrong with that? I was going like this. You got to slow that rate of descent. Yeah, it's only natural. I love it. You're naturally a squirrel. And I'm totally doing the superhero fall. Absolutely. Why? Exactly. Like what a perfect opportunity. All right. So I get a plus five to my initiative. Yes, you do. Let's dump you in here. Oh, wow. You are so I naturally have a plus five because I'm a halfling.

Then I got a plus five from Jason. Then I rolled a 20. You go yesterday. Yeah, that's the fight's already done. Like it's just lands and then she's off like, oh, yeah. What you do is go twice for the theoretical lap around. Holy shit. I did say I was in Ravager mode, so I also got extra speed in. Oh, God. OK, well, you're going to be opening up here. Probably unless one of them rolls really well. So Jolo is the only one who's still up there. And thank you. Oh, my bad. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to put those two over here just to signify that.

Yeah. And Calypso has feather fall for a full minute. Right. So if they decide to jump in, they'll be OK. All right. Whoo. These are spread out, OK? It's a big warehouse, guys. OK. OK, let me let me let me. Accolade a flight. Flight is the Goliath. Oh, yes. Yeah. OK. And he just has a bear icon. OK. He just he's just he's just a bear. You know what? I haven't had artwork done yet. And we're working with what we got. So we're going to address this. He's afraid. Before we start initiative, I know we're going to. There you go. There's two 20s and a one. This is 2016 one. And another one.

Oh, my God. I mean, it makes sense. We got to jump on them, right? So, yeah, then that is perfect because before of combat starts, Paxton just wants to just yell to everyone. Well, it's like when they're surprised and say everyone is under arrest. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. You didn't even declare you were from Firebrand. I wanted to. I wanted to. He's learned his lesson. This is Paxton from Firebrand. Calypso is definitely next time. Hey, Paxton, see what's going on before they decide what to do is definitely the Calypso move. So when kicking us off with your big 30.

All right. I am going to target this enchanter and run up to him. I am in Ravager mode. We talked about this, so I'm going to use my armscythe against him. One second. I need to reread my. I should have done this all your thing. But when you squeeze target. OK, so I cannot change enemies until he's dead. Yeah, you're pretty much locked on to somebody. But I gain advantage on every attack. That's what I was checking for. Yes. All right. Yes. That's that's my gold watch for this mode. All right. Oh, that was my arm blade. It's the same attack, though. Oh, that's damage.

No. OK. Oh, you're blessed. Yeah. So I'm going to drop the 20 to take a 30. Jesus. Well, wait. Oh, my God. But you rolled. Yeah, you rolled advantage twice. That's four rolls. Oh, weird. Why did it do that? I'm sorry. It twice. Yeah. Are you juicing the core? Yeah. That is that attack is a murder machine. That's the 20 hit. Oh, yes, it does. OK, so don't forget to target. I am targeting, aren't I? It says target and you're targeting you. No, that's that's that's the problem. That would be bad. OK, that's why it rolled twice. OK, sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry to see how targeting works.

It's interesting. I got through a whole repeat of episodes. We're a little rusty with the combat. We'll be fine. Yeah, a tiny, tiny bit. So I also I get to add one D eight cold damage to all of my melee attacks because of my dragon mask. So I'm going to roll that first and then add it to my attack. Boy, five plus five. I don't like that the plus five like lights up red 15 damage. Well, the enchanter is not going to like that. I'm going to level with you. Yeah, probably not. It's not great. Is that it? I think that's all I can do on my turn. I don't know that did slash and damage.

I doubt it makes any difference. Well, he's an enchanter. It all hurts like. Yeah. Giolo. I don't know why I said your name like that. Come into the main stage. Giolo. Lots of people say his name like that. Yes, he's used to it. Right before he steps up to the pole dance stage. That's how they introduce him. All right. So Giolo is up here and he's like looking at his angles. So I assume I can find an angle to target pretty much anyone if I'm willing to walk around the skylight. Yeah, depending on the range of your attack, don't forget you're 30 feet in the air already.

Yeah. Yeah. OK, so. So Giolo is kind of like kind of like squirrely squirrely ish, like kind of kind of walking and kind of pacing his way around the window looking for an angle. He wants to impress the raven. The raven could be watching and he wants to be. He wants to be as deadly as he is mysterious. So he's gonna see the assassin. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to. I'm going to target the acolyte of the lights. OK, the trouble with being a warlock is that until level 11, I only have two like super cool spell slots, spell slots and everything else is cantrips.

So I am, in fact, going to Eldritch Blast because I don't trust myself just yet. I want to warm up. It's a marathon, not a sprint. It's a yeah. Yeah. Just ease in. That's yeah. That's another thing that is also said, Giolo a lot. Hey. All right. So all right. Here's that attack. Why do I have a bonus d for? I think you've been inspired. That's right. That's right. Oh, bless. Yes. Yeah. I've been inspired. Yes. In any case, I finally I finally get one of my good hits here. All right. Twenty seven. We'll just miss. Hey, no, no, no, no, no. Tank. He's a rock, actually. No. Twenty seven will massively hit.

OK. And then I have the agonizing blasts is. Oh, that's right. The all the Warlock ability pick dealies are not itemized for this. So I have to just check. I believe. Agonizing blast is the thing that gives me the bonus damage. Let's just see here real quick. Ago, Ago, Lego, my Ago agonizing. They are agonizing. Yeah. Charisma modifier damage. All right. Cool, cool, cool. So I just closed my character sheet. That was smart. I'm a little I'm you guys are a hot mess today. Take a breath. It's OK. OK. Plus four. Math is occurring that will kill the acolytes of blight. Oh, my God.

Because this is the. Yeah, this was like a young kid, like a like he's a like he's a little like not like a he's like 15. So like strapping in the promising. So you were the youngest one in the room, Rob. Did you know that? Well, he was beyond redemption. I just killed a baby. God changed his ways. Well, I should have before tonight. Jell-O can't see like like I mean, obviously can see that someone is like shorter, but he has no idea that it's a 15 year old. So he's just excited with himself that he scored a hit and put someone down. Well, let's clarify that we won't kill unless we say so, because we're fire brand.

Didn't you say that in episode one? I mean, but magic's magic, though. Magic is magic. But I'm kind of tough to like because like, OK, if you're using your weapons, if you're if you're it's like, oh, you could be using the hilt of your thing to knock somebody out. That's that's an Eldritch blast. And that kid didn't have many hit points. So like me, I tried magic. It's always like like shooting someone in the head and saying, it's non-lethal, like you can't really control that. The guy's just going to if he lives, he lives. OK, well, then somebody is going to have to come up to the warlock and say, hey, that class feature that's basically the centerpiece of your damage.

You have to stop using it forever. All right. So that's going to be a fun conversation. Or the one thing that you can do from now on, just say you're aiming at their legs. So if if you're if you're shooting at the legs. Wait a minute. If all the weapon people don't have to declare that why do I have to declare that I'm aiming to wound to aim to wound? OK, I will also point out your 30 feet in the goddamn sky aiming at an angle. Like let it let it be known that Jason is attempting to pin trauma to Giolo. I wasn't planning. You know what? Hey, Rob, this is why we have such a great PR team.

Oh, me fine. Yeah. You know, we're seeing how our PR team handles. You knock this child out with your devil blast. Can I like see the hole in his chest cavity? Is it one of those where like the camera's looking through from the other end and you see Giolo's like smoking arcane focus, but like celebrating? It's like, got one. Like it's it's kind of like, you know, I mean, he was an acolyte of blight. So it was I mean, the kid was in it to win it. I mean, he was also 15. He was dedicated. We could have took that dedication and put it towards like. Yeah. With a title like acolyte of blight, maybe his PR team should have done some better work.

And I had bad friends when I was 15. That's all I'm saying. Oh, she did. They were like, who are you an acolyte of? It just all depends on how we market this. Giolo killed a 15 year old bad Giolo killed an acolyte of blight. Excellent. There we are. I also want to point out 15 in a fantasy world, you can own a house like it's like, you know, married, have kids. Yeah. You can sire and heir at 15. Yes, absolutely. Half your life is over statistically. Like, you know, it's true. Wait, was he a human? Because if he wasn't human, then that's very untrue. But if he was human, yes.

He was an elf. He was he was just a 15 year old elf. They still needed to change his diapies. Rob, I have the candid questions, first of all. So you can change the damage thing to get your bonus on there. If you hit the little magnifying glass next to the damage part of the ability, you can then like put in a bonus there. Nice. Good. And also, should it have gone up to like 2D10 or something as you leveled? I think that might be a thing it does. I'll look it up. Yeah. Good. Good point. Still arguing that this is non-lethal damage, even though it's twice his hit points.

Yeah, he's dead. It's fine. I tried to help. That's all. I was just throwing it out there. I OK, here's the new rule. Here's the new rule. I'm going to assume it's non-lethal unless it loops around their hit point gauge, like, like same rules for you guys. This is non-lethal. OK, so I did not kill them. Oh, no, you fucking murdered. Like, he's dead. There's a hole under. Yeah, that's right. Let me tell you, he had seven hit points on top of it. Yeah, he's dead. Oh, no, no, no. OK, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Kelsey, you're half right. I don't do more damage.

I get multiple attack rolls with multiple beats. You want to hit him again? Target at different people. All right. Down the body. I just barked. He could have liked like he can target the first one at that light and then the second one at a different person. Yeah, yeah. Just like the people's elbow. Pick another preteen to murder. Just like who's the next youngest? What is the shortest one here? She goes, I will kill a child once per round until you stop doing drugs. Perhaps twice per round. Perhaps twice. Yeah, we're about to find out. Do you get rid of the one the blessed thing now?

Is that a one use that. Oh, yeah. How long does bless last? Um, bless is concentration. That one's concentrate. It's concentration in the last one minute. You can just it just happens. Yeah, it says next to your thing, D10. So that's that's that's 10 rounds. And it doesn't expire after you use it. You just get to keep. Yes. Oh, OK. It's the same thing as being. It's a one before. So like it's it's helpful, but not like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, I'm going to fire on the expiration. I feel like I killed the acolyte of blight. So the only fitting thing is to take it up the ladder and go to blight next.

So I'm going to fire on blight. Oh, we're skipping some steps, but OK. What steps? No, I'm joking. Oh, OK. There's like middle management to go through and stuff. Yeah. So wouldn't it be great if you killed him in one shot? It's just like, wow, what a pussy. Like this is this is the guy. He's actually three preteens in a suit that just big trench coat. That's the middle. We bless the middle when they all fall apart. Wobbles, you killed Wobbles. 25 will hit. That'll do it. My luck is fine. Hey, you know what? I got those lousy magic items and now I'm killing everyone.

But no one is going to blame the bless. It helps. It has helped. I you've hit everything you've been blessed with. I think I'm a dead eye now. You can be a murderer. It's great. Hey, Jason. Yeah, I'm shooting to wound. I think he has a lot more. Listen to me. Machine gun I got. Listen to me, Robert. Full me once by killing a boss easily. I just just in case I totally kill blight with this cam trip, I'm shooting to wound. Not again. I'm going to your game this time. OK, this only applies if it's a vampire, though, because if he's not, then he's not an easily killed boss.

That's how DNR works. That's true. The impact of vampires are made out of tissue paper. Oh, so next damage. So he's definitely dead. He's you are going to hit him. OK, and he is going to look up and he's not pleased. Oh, well, it's a good thing. I'm on the roof. It is true. You are on the very tall. It's like come here. He just he just reaches up and plucks me off. Mr. Fantastic's up to the is that is that is that all? That is all. Yes. Thank you. I am so glad I'm not editing this episode. I love you. Yeah, I know. I'll be fair. This was partially my fault. I brought it into debate.

I didn't know it was going to be such a long debate. I was just like, hey, that thing you said in episode one, does it still apply? And then it was a forty five minute. Yeah, this is. Yeah. Anyway, Paxton. All right. Follow that. Let's see. Paxton is going to target Gwyn and cast Sanctuary. I love how we're really trying not to have Gwyn die. And you're just smiling on the bottom. Everybody could text Gwyn. If anyone else dies, I'll feel really bad. Real, real quick. And I'm just trying to remember Sanctuary off the top of my head. Doesn't that mean Gwyn can't attack out of Sanctuary?

No, from from what I see, this spell. Well, let me look it up. It just means they can't attack her without a wisdom save. OK, OK. I must be thinking of a different spell. I thought it was like, hey, they can't attack you, but you can attack them. But I must be off. OK, then then that is a bonus action, so. OK, Paxton is going to walk towards. Blight use this full movement. Get as close as he can, and he's going to say, please surrender, you are under arrest and he's going to fight defensively. Wait for a wait for a reaction. Oh, you'll get a reaction. It is you're such a good boy Paxton.

You're so good. Zach, please don't take what I'm about to do to you personally. I love you as a person. Jason, this guy's under arrest. I don't know what he's thinking about doing. It would probably resist. He would. People, especially these kinds of people, love cops. Oh, just love them. So Blight is going to take a step forward and he's just kind of got this relaxed posture and he is going to kind of crack his knuckles and walk up to Paxton and he is going to try a little multi attack here. We're going to we're going to see where this gets us, but he's going to just try and punch ever loving shit at you.

He has this he has a thing called steel fist because his upper hand and knuckle is just wrapped in this flat steel wire. Oh, is it? Yeah. OK, that's good to know. I'm sure there's something. Doesn't look street legal. I doubt it. Not even in like Jersey. Like this probably wouldn't fly anywhere. So he's going to throw a couple of punches here. Let's let's let's let's see if I my batting average stays the same for boss fights that get built up. Oh, oh, boy. Sir, you are under arrest. Please don't resist. Oh, 24 oh, hit. Is that with disadvantage? Oh, no, it isn't.

You're fighting defensively. That's right. Yes. Try that one more time. Oh, there's no miss, though. OK, so he gets one more with disadvantage from the get go. Oh, what? Dropping a 17 to take on two. And that disadvantage really saved you just now. Oh, man. Well, well. Well, you know what? There's no need to do anything hasty. It's it's a marathon, not a sprint. Let's go to the enchanter who's just getting the shit clawed out of them. It's his name, Tim. There are those who call it Tim. Are we friends? You know what? Yes, he's going to cast friends. Oh, my God. I was joking.

How dare you? Guys, if I turn, kill me like. Wow. Whoa, we're jumping way down the pike. Which has a lot of damage, I could take you out. I took myself out. That's how good her damage is. Oh, you're too far for me to do anything. I wouldn't turn if I were you to do with the raven. John Person. So with sanctuary, how does this work? Because it's not damage. Also, don't you have a cool save thing free with your new dragon powers? I have one legendary save. Gotcha. But I also have bardic inspiration right now, so I'll probably use that first. Yeah. I like that my legendary thing is the thing.

Kelsey, you just throw it people four times a day. Rob, Rob was right. Immediately. Rob is right. Yes, Rob was right. I was going to say, because we're. Yeah, if the water creature attacks, it's the spell ends immediately. Oh, I don't know why I didn't see that. Oh, I haven't attacked yet. So it's still right. Yeah, it's like really powerful, but it has a big drawback. It's that holy shit. I need a minute. But yeah, it's like for like, you know, say if Gwyn goes, I could cast on her and she gets attacked. She'd be OK for that round and she get through a round more protected than usual.

But yeah, yeah. But so what does it do now? Well, it protects her until she attacks again, then it's over. So until the spell until the spell ends, any creature who targets the warded creature with an attack or harmful spell. This is not a harmful spell. Yes, I think it would. It's it counts like an attack. I'm pretty sure that's it's a spell. I don't want to happen to me. Yeah, that is true. I don't think it's a hostile spell, but is it harmful because it's not. Harm doesn't necessarily mean harmful effect or ability. Someone asked on role playing games dot com.

There's no set definition, so it's ultimately up to the DM. Oh, harm is not defined in any of the official books. So it's up to subjective interpretation. I'm glad I gave you so much money, Wizards of the Coast, for all these fucking books. And you couldn't be bothered to define what harm means. Harm generally means like a bad effect, though, because there's a lot of spells that don't like directly do damage, but are OK. Like, yeah, I'm with Kelsey on this. If you don't want it to happen to you, it's hard. No, no, no. Fireball, obviously harmful, right? Yeah, I'd say darkness is kind of like a well, I mean, nothing's really happened to anybody, but they are blinded.

This is target of persons. OK, this is just you regard the NPC as friendly. It's it's not like that's hurting your will. You guys actually like that's that's why Charm Person is allowed on the list, because I'm not going to turn around and suddenly not like you guys. Yeah, no, I'm just going to think Tim's pretty cool. Yeah, it's just it's more like it's like you are charming and like not attack him. That doesn't mean that he's going to turn around and attack any attacks me again. I'm going to get in. What the fuck, dude? Any of my friends? I when looks into the enchanters eyes and just hers glaze over with passion and want.

Oh, so that's the that is the only reason I'm allowing this, because it's like, that's not really harmful. Yeah, he is casting it at level two, so I'm going to target Bo as well. Let's put that one in there. He apparently slipped it right in under the rug. This is one of those nights where we're going to be debating everything. So I got to move quick. Yeah, it's fine. Do me favor. Both of you guys. Give me a wisdom saving throw. Wisdom saving throw. OK, if this doesn't work, I'm going to use aura of protection. Just this doesn't work. I might use bardic inspiration.

Disguise. OK, I'm fine. Block. Oh, Jesus. Praise Jamie. But well, that's a great one. That's not good. Yeah, it is. But you specifically like him. That doesn't mean you like the light. Am I allowed to use or protection even though I rolled a great one? Or protection, I think, is it always on thing for paladins? Not that I don't think it's going to help, but what to do in your charisma bonus to saves and also like anyone within the radius of you gets that to you, I think. Yeah, it's not going to do anything. I don't think it's going to get you up there. So you're just not fighting Tim.

That's all OK. But just for future reference, that is like an always on thing for paladins. Yeah. For like any save that you ever. Yeah. Oh, OK. Moving on. I will kill you. I'm sorry. You're fine. I feel like we're going to be doing this again a lot. That's OK. I think, well, it's our first like fight in a really long time. You know, we're all still getting used to our stuff. I know how boss fights go. I mean, this is not my first rodeo. OK, well, since Bo is enchanted by Tim, I suppose I'll walk over here. Did I do that right? Yeah. And I'm going to cast Searing Smite.

Going to attack that drow warrior. Mm hmm. Should I hit first or do the effect first? Well, swing to see if you hit. OK. Man. Oh, that'll hit. Oh, OK. Oh, man, that bless. Woo! Bless helped a lot there. Yeah. Thank you, bless. So then I'll do the effect and then I'll roll the damage. Problem is, if light hits Paxton, we might not have bless anymore. It is a possibility. It's hard to stay concentrating when you're getting punched in the head. I mean, we missed the first couple of times. 11 damage. All right. And I'm going to do my extra attack and hit him again. Oh, Jesus, 28 will hit.

Yeah. And I'm pretty sure my Searing Smite is still in effect because it's up to a minute. But I don't know if I have to click it again. Hold on one second. Doesn't look like it expended, so try it. OK. There we go. 14. 14 damage. All right. Anything else? That'll do, pig. That'll do. Wow. OK. Hurtful. That's what you got. Ah, well, now we got a big bunch of drow going here. Drow Assassin number one is going to square off with the raven. Let's target and oh, Lord. What do we got a multi tech? What if you get like double critted and just got eviscerated? Wouldn't that suck?

I'm trying to tell a story here. I hope not. Oh, shit. OK, well, he does get advantage against the raven. Short sword. God, 23 will hit. Dropping 11. So let's do a save. OK, did save, so won't take all that poison damage. Say it, Jason. Say it. Say it as the raven. It's almost a crit. Uh, we are doing one more. Ah, Jesus. Again, it's almost a crit. Ah, five damage so far. One. No, that's not. Uh, there we go. Oh, shit. Uh, that's a four. Very much going to fail that con save, which means. Lots of poison damage. 27. Holy, holy cow. Oh, but he's resistant to it. So partially.

Good for him. Whoo. Drow assassin number two. Yeah, don't get poisoned guys. You know what? Drow assassin number two is going to come on up here. Next up, just behind Paxton, actually. Let's do that. So advantage and swing. Even though I'm fighting defensively still. Oh, so that'd be a regular swing. Regular role. So it would have been a three. Yes. So or either way. Yeah, I've missed either way. So we're just going to do this one more time. And oh, 26 will do it. Great hit. Can I get a while? Minimum damage and concentration is failed. So no more bless, baby. It was fun while it lasted.

Can I get a constitution saving throw? This poison is bad. Don't want to take this poison. No, shit. That was almost a check. Same thing. Yeah. OK, well, then. 76, 22 damage to Paxton, Drow elite warrior. God. Well, we're squaring off on Bo here. Let's let's let's fire back, Bo. God, does it have a multi attack? It's two short sword attacks. OK, so one. Damn, a lot of 19s tonight. 26. Well, the poison just comes in for that. So 19 damage. OK, I do have a reaction, but I will wait. Oh, go ahead. Hit me. I want to use my hellish rebuke, which is when I'm hit, they're surrounded by flames.

Yeah, you just pocket sand them. Yeah. Yeah. And they take. Well, they have to make a save, a dexterity save, and then they're going to take some fire damage. Well, let's see here. Oh, wow. 11. That's probably going to fail. Yeah, I'm not sure what the save is. It's it's probably higher than 11. So, yeah, I would think it's 13. OK, well, hit him. OK. Oh, yeah. Damn. Damn, 17 damage for a hellish rebuke. Ain't bad. Mm hmm. Well, that'll be its turn. OK, time for the raven. Ravens going to fire back here. OK. Be safe, Raven. Attack. Oh, 15 will hit. Aha. Jesus. So you still have to say what you're doing.

So sorry, I'm sorry. So we're a podcast. Paint me a picture, Jason. So this drowned assassin is going to square up and just lay into the raven. Right. Raven is going to kind of take a knee. And as as as they come up with this electro fist do hickey, it's just going to uppercut the shit out of this draw assassin and do 28 thunder damage and then come down with a second fist. See if this hits. Oh, no. Second one's going to miss, but that's OK. Calypso. Pretty polar. OK. Considering that much damage was done. Yeah, that that's. Yeah, there's a lot of sixes in that group of.

Yeah, OK. He can stay on the team. I guess it's fine. Um, hmm. So I think in order to get within 60 feet of blight, I'm going to have to jump down, right? Oh, yeah. OK, well, I have a feather ball. So what what like general area? I like it. Oh, so let's see where am I going? Right in there. OK, I'm going to go right here ish as close to my friends as I can. And then does that just count as my whole movement? It's fine if that does just. Well, wait, technically you would have just moved five feet to drop. OK, I don't think we're going to count you falling. Cool.

So I'm going to scoot over here next to Raven's, so he doesn't get flanked. Fair enough. That's the reason why I'm doing it. It's for its protection, not mine. And then I am going to do I'm going to target light and I'm going to do a fun spell called Heat Metal. So those are the the fist weapons that he has, you know, so that that's that. So and this is so I caused the object to go red hot. Any creature in physical contact with the object takes D4 fire damage when you cast the spell. So that's just going to happen. OK, it's 2D8 fire damage. 8 damage. Then until the spell ends, it's a concentration spell.

I can use bonus action to cast it again. If a creature is holding or wearing the object and takes the damage from it, the creature must succeed on a constitution saving throw. Well, OK. And he he must succeed or drop the object if it can. If it doesn't drop the object, it has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks until the start of my next turn. So basically either he drops the steel, the the the things or he just made a much more dangerous weapon. Oh, no, because it hurts him when he's wearing it. It doesn't like any disadvantage. Yeah, true.

So that doesn't sear someone's skin like a brand if it makes contact. It doesn't say anything about that. It's just because I caused the damage on my turns and it's any creature. So unless he like holds it up to someone's like Yeah. That's a dangerous spell. I love it. Yeah, if you're half made out of metal, that might. You know what? Going to drop it, going to drop it and just forgo any bonus damage from that. So fine. But I like the idea of burning someone's skin. Anything else? He goes owie and he jumps. Um, yeah, that's my action. And then bonus action. I am going to use a tealing word on Paxton.

So looks like he could use it. Yeah, much appreciated. Yeah, it's not much, but you know. 6, 6 health points back for you, buddy. Appreciate it. And that's the end of my turn. I just want to I just this is the DM versus PC logic. I'm trying to because we debated what a harmful spell is and befriending someone was harmful. But a weapon that would be heated up to the point where someone would drop it is not harmful to someone getting punched. Just just just what the spell does. I'm just I'm just I just wanted to swing both ways. That's all like that's that's that's fair.

Hey, we're at the end of a round, which means it's time to reroll. Boop, drowdy. Yeah, that's gone. Drow assassin. It's still on the bottom. Oh, team bad guys got the first three slots. Yeah. Drow assassin is going to scoot on over, just kind of scuttle over and swing once against the raven and once against Calypso. But no advantage this time. So here we go. Short sword fly. 19 will hit. Seven damage constitution safe from the raven and ooh, success. So now it's time for Calypso. Short sword fly. Seven hits. Five damage. Can I get a con safe, please? We're shooting for a 15.

Or higher. Oh, oh, oh, man. Well, that was that was dancing all over. 76. Oh, 28. There's four sixes in there. Hmm. That is classified as an owie. Yeah. Oh, God. Drow assassin number two is going to target Paxton. You're still fighting defensively, right? Yeah. OK, so regular ass swing. Here we go. Short sword. 18 will miss. One more time. Short sword. Whoa, that's a crit. Ladies and gentlemen, the first crit of the evening. We're rolling on the table. Turn the tide. In addition to standard critical hit damage to your target, you gain combat advantage against all enemies on the battlefield until the end of your next turn.

Oh, boy. Uh, that'll be eight damage. Can I get a con safe, please? We're shooting for a 15 or higher. 16. Perfect. You're good. You're golden. That'll bring up blight. Oh, God. OK. OK. OK. Here we go. Throwing, throwing hands at Paxton. One punch. Oh, 17 is going to miss. And one more crit miss. Oh, my God. In trying to swing at Paxton, Paxton's just like ducking and dodging like he's just clipping just bits of armor and just not getting him. He's actually going to cut himself on the forehead. Um, and he's going to be blinded for the next D4 rounds. So two rounds, technically blinded.

Giolo, you are up. OK, so here's my question, if I'm doing my math right. So the the 15 foot square you have on there is the skylight, right? Yes. OK. So presumably there is an there is somewhere I can stand there that gives me that enchanter within 60 feet, I would assume. Yeah. OK. Is there any particular place you want me to move my figure to represent that? OK. I did the only stipulations I want to be within 60 feet of the enchanter. And then when I'm doing that right for right now, I'm just going to Eldritch Blast him twice. I'm going to I'm going to double tap.

Sure. Uh, but I'm in 60 feet for other spells in the future. All right. So. OK. I have my aim. I've added my damage. Thank you again, Kelsey, for showing you how to do that. And then I'm going to throw it. First one is a whiff. Eleven's going to miss. OK, second shot. Oh, much better. Twenty one hits. Yeah. OK. And so ten D that one D ten plus four force damage. All right. And eleven damage. Yeah, I like it. OK, I will end my turn with that clear view of the enchanter. I'm not setting anything up, you're setting stuff up. He said foreshadowing. Oh, boy. The raven is going to swing on this drow assassin before the raven or Calypso dies.

Let's. Yeah, I would appreciate that. Yeah, let's try the whoa. Nineteen twenty six. Almost a crit and constitution saving throw from up. That will fail, which means seventy six thunder damage. Twenty two damage. This assassin is hanging on by a thread. Damn it. Fourteen's going to miss them. So everyone's still alive and very dangerous. The drow elite warrior. Oh, boy. Still targeting bow. So let's deal with this. Short sword swing. Twenty five will hit. Oh, damn. Seventeen damage. One more. The whoa. That was almost a 20. We're going to take a two, though. Nine will miss.

OK, I want to burn him again because it worked so well last time. Yeah, why not? So we have to do a dexterity save. Should be good at this, but last time was. Oh, Jesus. Fine. He takes half damage anyway. Yeah, OK, because phew, seven on it. Seven damage. Gwen, you are up. Sorry, I was making a sex joke in the chat. It was very important. Good, good. I'm debating whether I should stick with the enchanter or run to help Jamie. Jamie's taking a shellac. Yeah, thankfully, no poison, but like, oh, no, it's poison. Oh, it is poison. Never mind. It's just included with the weapon instead of there being a con save.

It's just a smaller bit of a bit of damage. All right. I think if if it makes a difference, Giolo has his eyes on that enchanter, so he's he's under observation and Giolo looks like he is very focused on whatever the enchanter is going to do next. That's what I was thinking. Like realistically, like she came in, she gave him a stab, and then he got hit with two Eldritch blasts. Well, close one Eldritch blast and then an Eldritch blast. So like, I feel like she would then shift her attention elsewhere because he looks like he's not doing very well. Yeah.

If you need to rescue someone, Giolo is giving you the the yeah. OK, so she's going to run to Gwen. I'll take the hit. Well, let's see if that's right. You're not a rogue anymore. You don't have no. Yeah, I believe in the enchanter hits. No, wait, never mind. She wasn't charmed. That was, but sorry. If it makes you if it makes you feel any better. It's just going to swing with his little quarterstaff. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, whoa. All right. That's a miss. Yeah, let it. It's not. Yeah. Sweet. OK, so I took the chance. It worked out. Now I'm going to have sanctuary and a still sanctuary for the next four seconds or so, because I am going to attack this guy.

Yeah. God, I have so many windows open because I don't know how anything works. Usually I know how things work, so. There's my attack window. God, is that the one window I don't have open? That is the one window I don't have open. OK, here we go. I get advantage because I'm in Ravager mode. And I do one of these. 16 will miss. 16 will miss? It's an elite warrior. I don't think I have anything. It's what it says on his name tag. You can add a D8. You can use the Bardic Inspiration to add that to your roll. I'm going to add a D8 to my roll. OK. 18? That is just going to hit.

OK. Oh my gosh. Fantastic. Thank you. All right. So I don't have anything anymore. I don't have sanctuary. I don't have Bardic Inspiration. But I do have a plus eight cold damage, which will be seven. I was about to say, you have enough. You're fine. 21 damage. Yeah, plus seven. That's in there. Sorry. OK. OK. Hell yeah, that's nice. Also, Jamie, you get advantage from now on, too, because I went to his other side. So OK, dope. Hi, Tim. Hi. This is tough. You hit the one guy that no one else can hit, Tim, or do you hit the bitch that stabbed you with her arm? I think.

I think he's going to cast fireball at ninth level. Holy shit. Ninth level or at who? Like a ninth level spell slot? We know we've been we've been misled as to who the real boss of this organization is. Do you mean a fifth level spell slot, which is what a level nine caster would have? Oh, yeah, there you go. Yes. No, I'm sorry. I'm OK. I was just. No, no, no. That's my fault because I was just playing with the black hand in another in another game and it reads almost identical, except it's. Yeah, my bad. Fifth level. It's about to get wiped. So no. Well, not necessarily.

All right. So the reason Giolo made sure to get within 60 feet is because he is burning his reaction for the round on counter spell. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. So unfortunately, a fifth level spell slot is higher than my spell slot. So I do have to roll. Yeah, I make a charisma check versus 15 in this case. So on a success, the creature's spell fails and has no effect. So let's see if I can extinguish this fellow. So he's got he's got the he's got the fireball in his hand. It's growing. Yes. Yes. And I am going to really hope this works because that'd be very dramatic and cool.

All right. It is just let's see, is it an ability check using? OK, so no proficiency bonus class. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was almost a seven. And then oh, baby. So close. So what I what I picture Giolo's personal counter spell as is this about what maybe twice the size of a normal size glowing purple like purple elven hand manifests near him and just slaps the fireball that disperses like it's like it just slaps it. It just like that, like a slap in the face. I can't. No, no fireball. No fireball, guys. Now I am the blue. Now I see this is why the not so. I use it.

Oh, I've never used that in all my years. I mean, that's so cool. Yeah, that's the stuff I always get. And then because you need to have it just in case and then just in case thing never happens. So it's really cool to see it actually play out. Dude's name is Chantor. It's my time to show. Yeah, he really does give it away like an anime where they call out everything they're about to do. OK, I have one spell slot left. But what the hell kind of enchant is fireball like? He has haste or something. Jesus Christ. Oh, boy. Hmm. And if you oh, and if the enchanter looks up at you, look, Jill is wiggling a finger back and forth and very coy.

You just can't be me. No, no. Uh, Jason, it is the sword that the dress is holding is made of metal. I don't want to do the same thing again, but I think it's my best. I would have a leather grip. OK. I think he's wearing leather straps. No one has a sword that just it's like a solid metal rod that vibrates in their hands. Not wearing that metal armor. Right. Leather baby. It's not even started. That's what the minis is for this spell. I was not expecting to have like metal hands. It's like, OK, good on you. On the nipples or anything. Nope. Oh, no. That would be terrible though. 2d8 fire damage directly to the nipple.

Strangely enough, he is wearing a chastity belt. So do with that what you will. I love the idea that to Kelsey, anyone with nipple piercings is the same as the enchanter was to Rob. Now's my time. My moment to shine. It's been in my notes forever. If it helps. Stroud's going to step the fuck out of you if it gets the chance on its next turn. Yeah, I know. That's why I could use my bone. Yeah, I'm going to like it stand in there, just like doing that thing where it's biting its button like that, like the entire time. Like it is ready. Well, so I'm going to cast vicious mockery and hope that fails to say.

Oh, it succeeds. I'm going to back up behind the. We're just so you can take the opportunity. Wait, is that if you move out of its sphere of that's gotcha. OK, then for my bonus, actually, I am and I'm going to give I think I might give our inspiration to go on again because it was really big and cool. But if anyone else has argument for why they should get it, I think you should give it to Zach because right now he's at a disadvantage. That's right. I forgot. He's OK. You just like back and forth. Honestly, it's not done shit so far, so that's lucky. There you go.

Part of inspiration for you. That's my turn. I'm going to die. There's another person there. Oh, OK. I'm going to do branding smite against this elite warrior. Let's see if I hit him first. Oh, my dice, man. Nine is going to miss. OK, and I'm pretty sure that my extra attack is only in effect if I hit. So really, I think so. Let me let me check. Oh, no. It says I can attack twice. Do it right. You're going to do better this time. I hope so. I'm putting out good vibes. Fifteen, twenty two will hit. Oh, Jesus, 17 damage. OK. God. Is that it? That is all she'll give. I know, right.

She'll give like a solemn nod to Gwen, though, because she's kicking ass. You know, Paxton, you are up. This is a tight fight. Paxton is going to cast. Well, OK, it says I'm wounded. I'm just I'm just going to cast a level four, three wounds on myself. Just get that out of the way. Still twelve. Yes, it's hoping to do more than that, but OK. I mean, you're back in the fight like it's it was a little dire there. Yeah. So if I shift to the left or to the right, I would take the opportunity to take from somebody from getting out of their range. If you disconnect from either one of them.

Right. Yes. I hear that. Right. OK, that's fine. I that's been my turn. Much I can do. All right, guys, that is the end of round two. Time to reroll. Bam. Giolo, you are up. I can still see the enchanter and. He's probably I mean, at some point he's going to get out of my view, I'm just going to he seems to have become my problem, so I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to keep firing. That no, no, no, no, no, it's I like it. I feel needed. I feel he's he's my combat focus here. All right. I'm just going to. Yeah, I'll I'll do my double tap. I'll send some Eldritch Blasts his way.

So blast the first. It's a good 22. All right. The temple's for forced damage. Let's get it. Still standing. Yep. Blast number two. Yes. OK. You are in trouble now. This is now it's on now. It's now it's a spell of thought. Now it's it's a with a lot of that. Yes. OK. Yeah, I stay where I am and try to keep an eye on him. And of course, I have my reaction. I don't know if he believes I can do it twice, but I don't know. We'll see if I will see if I can pull it off twice. If you are the cards. Right. Yeah. All right. This elite warrior. Oh, fuck. Fuck it. Let's let's just play the hits.

Let's try and just down bow as quickly as possible. Two swings. Bam. Twenty one to hit the low rolls, though, 15 to go one more time. Eek. The 15 will miss saying alive. God. Oh, you're right. My rebuttal. I have a question about lay on hand. It doesn't say on here how many times I can do this. You have a you have a tank of healing. Basically, you could touch yourself right now and just spend the whole load. You can give yourself five, 10, seven, whatever you want. All right. I'm going to touch myself and spend my whole load. Oh, my God. Well, he set me up. How far ahead?

Joe. Yes. What wishes you'd leave? It is five times your paladin level. So that'd be what, thirty five. Yeah, seven. So, yeah. OK, so thirty seven health back. Oh, I feel it's better. Nice. Big deal. If he had hit me in that second time, I would have gone down. But there you go. That'll bring up Gwen. All right. I'm going to do the same thing I did last time. But first, I'm going to shift over here so that I don't think I can get double advantage, but I'd like to give Bo normal advantage. All right. So I'm going to Ravager this mode. So theoretically, if I click my attack, it'll automatically give me advantage.

Let's see. That looks right. Yep. Oh, I hope a 15 will miss. Yeah. Oh, no. Shoot. All right. I wish I had more to, like, do. I'm very Uuna. It's like if I miss an attack, that's just it for the turn. And that's that's Ravager mode. It's like, yeah, you have all these bonuses, but you also have negative five AC. Yeah, it's not great. Yeah. Yeah. And I probably should have just switched modes, but I really wanted to kill this drow. Now I have it. Yeah. Anyway. Drow assassin. Number two, that boy, let's hit Paxton again before you fuck me up. I miss I just I my heel was so low because I forgot two things, my blessed healer and my disciple of life.

It adds an extra two plus the spells level. I used a level four spell slot. So that's plus six done now commits. OK, let me have it. Well, here we go. It might not hit at all. Who knows? I don't know myself. So you're still in defensive mode. No, I couldn't. Can you do it? Because I killed myself with an action. Oh, really? Well, that's why I'm tightening my core to take this. Oh, that's a baby. Oh, my God. Fatal blow. It is a 20 on the crit die. You deal a terrible blow to your target. They instantly drop to zero points and must roll a flat D20. On a 16 or higher, they cling to life, but with two failed death saving throws.

On a 15 or lower, their wounds were too great and they perish. Jesus. Fuck. I have bardic inspiration. Kelsey gave it to you. Yeah, he's got a D4 or a D8. It's a D8. You can apply it after you roll. Yeah. Let's do the normal roll first. Oh, that was almost a 20. The D8 wouldn't even help. No. Wow. I am so sorry, Zach. I mean, that's just so brutal. Oh, my God. Fuck. That is beyond brutal. So our second fight in this group, we lose another party member instantly to a crit. In pretty much the same way, because Bree got something. It's Yin Yang because I got one and then rolled a one and he got 20.

It just went into the thing. Yeah. I mean, he's pinned between two people. They have advantage. It's bad. It's a rough spot to be in. And these drow are not screwing around. Ah, shit. I don't suppose anyone pre shopped for diamond dust for spell components, did they? I know that I didn't. I didn't. Two spells. Yeah. May I ask why? Yeah, I have Revivify. If I have 300 gold pieces worth of diamond dust, I can revive a creature who has died within one minute ago, but yeah, no diamond dust. No, no revive. Well, let's put this aside for a moment. You are in a city. All is not lost.

It's just for this fight. So. God. Oh, you move the mini away right as I was looking at it. That felt so sad. I'm sorry. I was looking at the mini and it's like, I was like, no. Oh, God. Okay. Drow Assassin number two is going to use its movement to go to the Raven target and use its other attack with advantage. 16 will hit. Constitution saving throw from the Raven will succeed. That brings up the enchanter. You know what? The enchanter is going to move and cast haste on Blythe. Okay. Is that out of sight of Jello? Um, I wouldn't say so. Like, you'd probably you'd probably see.

I'm guessing there's a counter spell attempt. Yeah, it's my only other spell slot, but it's kind of the most effective thing I can do. Let's do it. Free Moon, Guardian of Faith, Fly Daylight. Yeah, there's. It is definitely the best thing I can do, particularly as opposed to, like, the boss getting haste. Right, right. So, OK, he's targeted. I'm gonna oh, is it a is he using a fifth level spell slot or something? Well, this is third level. I can't flip that rolling. Oh, I stop him. It uses up my other spell slot to do so. But now I'm out of spell slots. Yeah, I just straight up.

Oh, that's rude. She's Drow, this is dark, Drow assassin is going to target the raven. We got a similar situation here. One attack to the raven. Oh, that'll miss. OK, and one more. Fifteen will hit. Raven's going to succeed on the con save and not get poisoned. Calypso this ah, man, this is rough. Uh, yeah, so when Calypso sees Pax didn't drop, like they are just. Um, bit of a panic response, but they're going to grab the raven on the arm and cast dimension door to get back up on the roof. Oh, my one fourth level spell. So it's like the thing I did with Paxton when the building was about to fall on us.

It's just the instant teleport. Oh, man. So, yeah, they're just like breathing heavy and like. Pulsing the wound that they have and they're just like staring at Paxton and just kind of shaking a little bit and. Yeah, let's let's that's my turn. Uh, light's turn. Light's going to use a legendary action. And shake off the status effects, so he's no longer blind, but there's also no one to attack. So he's going to use his entire movement and action to get right behind. And that'll be that'll be the turn. Raven's going to be confused. Yeah, so the raven can go back in if he wants to, but maybe have a more advantageous position or something, I don't know.

It was just the yeah. Oh, God, there's still two people in there. I think. Yeah. OK, so Raven will be right on the side of the hole. Jump back in, just kind of give Calypso a look like it's like, I appreciate it. But, you know, there's still two people in there. So jump back down and get behind Blight. And I guess we're taking swings. Does have advantage because of Bo. Ah, fuck. Sixteen will miss. Second swing, 20 will hit. Blight's going to roll a con save. Oh, Jesus, 20 will do it. That is the end of round three. Top, top of round four. Drow assassin number two is going to take a turn and get behind the raven.

So now we have a conga line of death. Yeah, I was going to say you're playing leapfrog. Oh, God, this is rough. Yeah, all right, short sword, let's do it. 22 will hit. Raven's going to make a con save and that is a failure. 32 damage. One more sword swing. Oh, 11 is going to miss. That brings up Bo. This fight's getting worse as it goes on. I think we've got to blow it, guys. Yeah, yeah, my plan is on my next turn to start running to go get the carriage. I don't know how long that's going to take, but I don't know how long these explosives are going to take either.

So. Oh, right. You have those right. That's what I meant when I said I think it's time to blow it, guys. Oh, blow it literally. Yeah. And I don't know if like the second I pull this trigger, if like it's going to go off, so. I would essentially be sacrificing herself, though part of me hopes that my mutation would do something about that, but I don't know. So I decided if I would like raise the idea and it's pretty meta. I don't like it. OK. I will point out, if you look on the map, there's a window behind you. Here's the thing, too, though, if if Bo warns everyone to get the fuck out, that means that we're leaving both Bo and Paxton behind to explode.

I'm torn. I'm really torn. OK, so everyone has heavy damage, like literally everyone except for Drow SS number two, which has no damage to it and blight. Yeah. So if we can take out everyone. I think we can make it maybe one more round, but being as outnumbered as we are right now. I mean, I know that Calypso and Giolo are upstairs, but like I know you're out of spell slots, Rob. So it's like, yeah, I'm all cantrips at this point. Right. So. OK, I think that I think I'm going to go one more round of trying to hit and then after this, it'll be like shit hits the fan and we got to go.

Yeah. I'm I'm just going to keep hitting Drow Elite Warrior. Hoping that it'll work. I mean, you have advantage. Right. I do have advantage. I'm going to use branding smite again. Because why not use it while I got it? Smite the shit out of it. Yeah. Right. Here we go. Are you fucking serious? The dice tonight. Seriously. All right. I'm gonna try again. So that didn't give me advantage, but it will hit. Do you want to roll one more time just to see if it's a crit? Yeah, in case it won't be. But OK, but it's still a hit. Dirty 20 will take it. Yeah. That'll kill. That will kill Drow Elite Warrior.

For clarification, we're killing him. That one gets to die. You don't want to knock him out? No, fuck him. Would knock him out. That's all right, Jamie. I'm sorry. I will stab him as she walks by. Gotcha. As you're picking up Paxton to see if there's a healer, like it's like, ah, stab, like just. I tripped. Yeah. OK, and that will. Yeah, that will be my turn. Well, that shit. That brings up light. Fuck. Well, it's either Qo or the Raven. Let's roll a d20, see what's going to be the rate. OK, well, he has advantage. OK, well, here we go. We're going to swing at the Raven with advantage two punches.

One, two, six. Yeah, 26 will hit. 14 damage, one more. Shit, one, 26 will hit. 11 damage. Here's the thing. Blight makes two melee attacks. If both attacks land, then the target is grabbed and incapacitated. So essentially, Blight has the Raven in this bear hug. Did Blight just Bane the Raven? It might on Bane the Blight's next turn. It might have to break the bird. Enchanter. Got any more fucking counterspells up there? Gielo is acting like he has more counterspells just in case it intimidates the enchanter out of doing it. The enchanter's going to whip a fireball up there.

Oh, no. Yeah, I don't have another counterspell. We're about to have a bad day, Calypso. Let's do let's do the max level five. Let's do it. How many slip-o-spill slots does he have? He has this is his second time casting at level five. This is the last one. If it makes you feel any better. Yeah, it doesn't. Go ahead. But can I get two dexterity saves from you guys? We're shooting for 14 or higher. Oh, he doesn't just trigger him when he throws it. I can. I thought it'd be nice if you guys rolled. I'll keep mine. I'll keep the one I rolled. It's good. I'll keep it.

Okay. So what's that? Half damage? Yeah. Okay. So ten D six. Wait, ten D six or eight D six? I thought it was started at six and went up. No, it's eighty six and goes up. Oh, starts at eighty six. Okay. My bad. Yeah. Boom. Half of thirty three. So sixteen. Shit. Now we all race to do math. Well, Giallo is fine. Yeah, I'm hanging in there. I think I'm barely standing, barely still up. Yeah. So you have four more hit points, Calypso. Speaking of which, Calypso. Yeah, Calypso is not having a great time there. Yeah. Now I I imagine it was kind of a cool action movie thing where we both like dodged in opposite directions.

Fireball. Yeah. Yeah. And cover like hit by the remnants of like kind of like like standing there just like sidged and everything just looks at Joe and say, I'm going to go get the carriage. Giallo nods at you. They're going to go get the carriage. Oh, just limp off the roof and float down. Basically, you still have a castle you haven't seen like that. Like when. OK, something really unfortunate is every time the clock strikes, my computer plays sounds from Paper Mario. So I just got the like, you want to fight sound. Oh, well, the fight's not over. Yeah. So I'm going to come up here to Blighty McBlight Blight.

I'm going to use my detonation feature if I hit him, which I should because of advantage, but we'll see with advantage. Twenty four hit. All right. So every time you strike an opponent with an attack, your body now leaves tiny traces of itself inside their wounds. Don't worry, you're constantly regenerating these missing bits. More importantly, you may use a reaction to make those bits explode after an ally hits an opponent you have already struck. This damage starts out at two D four, but increases over time. Once you use this power, you cannot use it again for one D four rounds.

So let's see how long until I get to do this again. Well, you got to wait till an ally hits. Oh, OK, that's when it's activated. All right. I'll roll again when that happens. No, it's just oh, yeah, I don't want the four. That was the joke is like, yes, different. All right. But do that damage. Do I will do that damage. First, I got to roll that eight. Hey, Max, 19 damage to Blighty. I think that's all I can do. Giolo, you're up. OK. Question. Will you make me take any like penalties or disadvantage if I want to fire my Eldritch blasts while falling through the air into the warehouse?

No, I may give you a bonus. OK. Giolo is like, I've got to go see if I can save my friends who are down there and outnumbered. So Giolo bounds over the side of the toward those rice bags or whatever, right? Like he wants to do that, do the rice bag trick if possible. He bounds over the side and as he's falling, he wants to fire one Eldritch blast at the enchanter and one Eldritch blast at dro assassin one. Do you have Featherfall? No. OK, well, let's roll these first. OK, so, yeah, he's going to try to go in there and kind of. Oh, it looks like I never took my damage.

Sixteen damage. Oh, that's weird. I can't see him. Here we go. OK, yeah. Be honest, be honest, be honest. No, I appreciate. Yeah. OK, so I'm bound over the side. I target the first enchanter Reno. Tech role. All right, there it is. Yeah, oh, that is a two. OK, nine. OK, second blast is going at dro assassin one as I fall through and. Oh, OK, so falling through the air and shooting Eldritch blasts did not help. Can I get an acrobatics check from you? You sure can. Let's try it again. We're shooting for a 14 or higher. Acro, that's right. I do have that because I'm an exotic dancer.

Once, OK, that would suck if you miss both last and then your spine. Just roll around in the glass for the good multitasker. He was really focused on sticking the landing, that's all that. Yeah, of the things. Well, fuck. So Jolo's in here. He's in it. OK. And then is this just like you had with Calypso that I get that I can still use some movement once I'm in here or no? Yeah, go ahead. OK. Jolo wants to go to where Paxton's body was and get ready to scoop him and like move him. He's not going to pick him up yet. He's going to take shots next turn before he well, but I'll do the action to lift him before I start moving.

I'm going to get over in your body. Put me put me in your Paxton's body. OK, right there in the Paxton's spot. Yeah. OK, so Drow assassin number one. He's got to use his movement and action to get up to Jolo. OK, so the raven is in capacity. The only thing that they can do is try to break out of this. So do they have any cool batman gadgets they can use? Oh, like a little explosion. They can't reach them. So this it's a DC of 16 to get out of this. OK, so a plus five. That is a 17. They are going to wriggle out and be next to just there, I guess. So that is the end of round four.

All right. I'm just going to attack blight again. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Twenty one. Twenty one will hit. All right. Going to roll my D8. Three. I got to pay for that eight. Do I count as my own friend? Nope. Blame. Damage. Fifteen damage to blight. Anything else? I don't got nothing else. I keep thinking I should switch to my standard mode, but like that takes a whole action and I can't I can't risk it right now. Drow SS number one is going to target G.O.L.O. swing a short sword. Crit miss. We're not going to roll on the table, but there's one more to go. Fifteen will hit.

Can I get a constitutional saving throw, please? We're shooting for fifteen or higher. OK. Oh, no. Oh, three. Oh, God. Oh, I'm down. Wow. That'll knock G.O.L.O. out. God damn it. Oh, boy. He's going to use magic missile on the Raven. First roll. Oh, God is for second roll. Will knock the raven out. Uh, the raven's going to tumble over. Um, and this this this kind of mask and hood is going to kind of fall off and this long hair is going to spill out. G.O.L.O., can I get a death saving throw, please? Yes. Can. Um, oh, there they are. Yeah, I forgot what it was on the sheet.

OK. OK. Seventeen. Holy hell. OK, that's great. Yeah. I have not gotten worse. Uh, can I just because we're going like quickly through these, can I use my aura of the guardian for the damage that the raven took? I just take it instead. You can say no, it's fine. I'm going to say no just because we're past it. Like it's right. That's the only reason. God, OK. Uh, death saving throw, Raven, that is one failed death saving throw. Calypso's getting the wagon blight. God, blight's going to swing at Gwen. Oh, God. OK, now I'll do aura of the guardian. Are you sure? Yeah.

OK. Jimmy. It makes sense, but we would do it like it's Gwen, first of all. OK, that's that. OK, that's a low roll. That was a low roll. So that's good. He gets one more swing. Twenty five will hit. So since since these both hit, that means that Gwen's incapacitated, like he's going to scoop her up. Didn't one of them technically hit Jamie? Well, it hit you. She just took the damage. Yeah, she magically took it. Yeah, that's fair. It'd be different if you like physically took it. But yeah, right. Yeah. OK, so I'm incapacitated. Drow assassin number two is going to move up here to blow man.

Twenty five. Can I get a con saving throw, please? Mm hmm. Shooting for a 15 or higher. OK, and I'll add my charisma modifier, which is just two. So it'd be twelve. Right. Twenty eight damage will knock Bo out. Does it trigger anything? Like, do I turn into a vicious monster? Oh, well, it does trigger something. Do you remember when I had you roll a die for that bomb on your back? Oh, my God, we're about to TPK right now. Would you believe me if I told you you rolled a one? Yes, yeah, yeah, at this point, sure. It seems about right. So it's like this. Fuck me. So this bomb is going to start to mix.

And at the end of the next round, it is going to go off. But I wouldn't notice I'm dead. Well, you're unconscious, not dead. Yeah. That is the end of round five. Top of the order is polite. He didn't get to notice either, does he? Huh? He didn't get to notice either, does he? No, but he's got Gwen above his head. He's going to... Could we make an argument? I'm sorry, I'm just I'm trying to think nihilistic, but also narratively. Is there any chance that the bomb, like, tumbled out of her bag or something and he could have noticed it? Like, I can't want him to die in the explosion if we were going out, too, but you're more optimistic.

Fair enough. OK, you know what? I don't know if that would even help us. I'm just thinking, like, what could have happened during this scene? He's going to be holding Gwen up. Jamie. I need a flat D20 from you. On a one through 10, it's going to stay in your backpack. On an 11 through 20, it's going to spill out and everybody in the area will be able to see that this thing is mixing. The one good fucking roll I have tonight. Yeah. Well, shit. So he's going to throw me at the bomb. Blight's going to let you go because you are not... Not the biggest problem anymore, but that means everyone who can see it sees it, but that's literally just me.

Oh, him too. I mean, on my team. Save yourself. Yeah, everybody else has passed out. I was going to say, this is this is an enemy of my enemy situation. He is going to expend his turn. Picking up this bomb and chucking it out this window. This is his hideout. This is his home. So here's the thing, though. I'm going to make him roll for it because, of course. So he has a pretty strong athletics. 23, he's going to throw it out into the street, but that'll be his turn. Raven's got to throw another death saving throw. Oh, my God, that's a second failure. Jolo, can I get a death saving throw, please?

If you'd like to roll a 20 right now, that'd be shit. Oh, there's a one. I took two fails. It's OK, I already I already made peace with that. I was going to die from the explosion, so the death saving throw is not making me sadder. The drow assassin is just going to move up here. Can't really do anything. Drow assassin number two. I guess is going to swing at Gwen. Oi, short sword swing. 19 will hit. Can I get a con saving throw, please? Oh, that's great. That's great. One more. Fucking guys. One more con saving throw, please. Ah. That will knock Gwen out. That's everyone, isn't it?

Yeah, everyone except Calypso. They're going to start. They're going to start dragging these bodies and light is going to get them to start stringing you guys up by the heels, but they are not going to kill you. Oh. Well, unless they offer medical attention. Yeah, right. Yes. The only two who are bad off is the raven and Giolo with two failed death saving throws. I want one more from each one of them. If they succeed, they live. All right. OK. Giolo succeeds. Fuck. The raven does not. Did we know who he was? Did we see his face? Did we recognize him? I don't think anybody was like, I guess, Bo and Gwen were close enough.

So give me free. Give me a before I died perception check. Yeah, do that. Well, Bo, give me one. My perception sucks. I know, Stormy. All right. So from what Bo could see, the raven was actually female and looks look to be halfling. But that's all the info you got before, you know. So they're going to string you guys upside down. So Bo, Gwen, Giolo. They're going to to to hoist you guys up and you are you're tied pretty, pretty, pretty good. And Blight is going to go over and just start slapping each one of you until you wake up. I'm going to give you guys an option.

After you guys kind of come to. Well, he's going to start questioning you. Would be the first question. Well, one of you got away. Shit. So he's going to kind of like grab Giolo by the hair and kind of like kind of like pick his head up a bit. Where did your other comrade go? When does Bob go boom? Just wondering. Oh, yeah. Well, while you guys were unconscious, Bob went boom out in the street. OK, so maybe the bright port the guard guards would come check it out. I don't know. It's it was a pretty nasty explosion. So like that will draw attention, but we might not be their first priority.

Yeah. God, it's. How do you want to respond to that? Well, let me ask a question, actually, Kels. Yeah. How long would Calypso sit out there in the getaway vehicle? Oh, I wasn't going to sit out there. Oh, you just gone. No, I wasn't doing that either. My plan was to do something extremely stupid. Which was? I was going to try and like busting through with the carriage and. You're going to Batmobile it. Oh, oh, can we do that? I mean, turn it to weaponized for it and see what happens. I mean, at this point, what do we have to lose? Yeah. Yeah. OK, so also I am just going to cast the ability on myself to get the constitution ones.

I think that just makes sense for what I would need to do to get to the carriage the first. That's fine. Yeah. So so, OK, let's paint a picture here. So while the end of this combat is happening, Calypso is going to jump off of this building and float down, just kind of like hold them like four hit points. So they are beaten and battered, just bloody all over. And they're going to limp to jump the two blocks away to get the chariot. And gallop back toward the building. And you're just you're flipping it into assault mode. As they're limping like mudder under their breath, cast a spell so they can keep moving despite the pretty bad pain I imagine that they're in and kind of pull themselves up on the carriage and then probably bloody hand turn the orb, the thing to the I don't like the red color, whichever one is kind of whatever one's going to fuck stuff up.

Yeah, basically that's kind of one one hand, like bloodied on the console, one hand like kind of holding their stomach. And then, yeah, just basically barreling right towards the warehouse. Interesting enough, do you see this big opening in the front? That's kind of like a like a storage area, like a dock where things get dropped off. If Calypso went right through that, like, okay, you swipe this into assault mode. One, these horses are going to get this bulky armor with this kind of splitter plate up front that is almost like a snowplow. It's meant to go through things.

Not only that, but this thing's going to get guns on the side of it, essentially. And it is going to rapid fire up to 100 crossbow bolts. Fuck. Per 10 seconds. So this is just like that. And it is going to mostly be absorbed by this wood, but not all of it is going to bust through the window and fucking like as you plow into this place, you're just spraying and praying. These people are going to have to hit the deck then. So after after Giolo gets asked, where where's your other comrade? Boom. Wood splinters. You fly through and just kind of skid in. Da da da da da da da da da da da.

While he was going to go with eat my ass, you poison selling, bearskin fuck. But that works, too. I mean, I mean that follow your heart. It's a power move. That is. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I picture him saying it in like a weak voice with blood streaming down his face, like I'm not going to give you the gratification of getting that out of me. So while this is just spraying the area down, you have a few precious like moments while they're kind of sitting there going, what the fuck is this? Because this is a new experience, you know, people reading their building, you know, whatever fights happen.

Metal robot horses that just fucking you know, yeah, this is new. What does Calypso want to do? Because the chariot is going to take care of itself while you do something. You have a couple of moments here. My God, so I see that they're like strung up, basically. So my thought is to try and direct the chariot to like basically like either that blight and his crew are going to have to run or I'm going to trample them. So that's kind of what I have enough time to get people down and stuff and everything, and that's just not like so you know what we're going to do?

Let's simulate a hundred crossbow bolts just kind of being sprayed in here. Give me ten D six, please. And we're going to spread some damage out. OK, so that's thirty six one. This enchanter is going to get riddled with bolts just like three or four. It's like that that that that boom, the enchanters gone. One of the assassins is going to manage to dodge. The other one is going to get riddled and die. Blight is going to take three bolts right to the right arm and shoulder, and he's going to kind of duck for cover here. You've essentially cleared out this room, at least for the time being.

I'm going to make sure that the horses are between me and rubber blight like ducks in the direction of sure and got to start trying to get people down, I guess. I don't know. Can we try to cut ourselves down? Well, you're you're tied up. Ah, that that would be a hindrance. Can I turn both of my arms into blades and cut myself out? Uh, I'll let you shift into tank mode. OK. That's a happy medium. Yeah. Basically, you swell up and break those chains. You're also going to kind of fall on your head and back. But like, you know, whatever, whatever. I got to take care of that right now.

And if you're in tank mode, you could essentially reach up and snatch Bo and yeah, down, just kind of like rip them down. I'll do that. And while I'm doing that, I'll scream to Calypso. Get the others to. Yeah, because feel is with us. I'm confused how many people are on the ground and how many are hanging. I see because we all got that Paxton's body. Paxton and then. Oh, yeah. The other two. Yeah. Calypso will do their best. They'll probably start with the raven because Paxton is very heavy armor. And I don't think they have strength to maybe grab that. Yeah, Paxton would be the closest to the chariot anyway.

The way you came in. Well, then they'll kind of like try and drag him up. Yeah, we'll do their best. Give me an athletics check. Oh, but you know what? Do it with advantage because of the adrenaline. Yeah. Hey, yeah, you're going to you're going to drag Paxton up there. The raven is going to be a lot easier because they were a halfling. They were small. And Gwen is going to grab Bo and Jolo, you are loaded up on the chariot. You don't have enough bolts to keep going forever. Yeah, so I feel as though I would just switch back into standard mode so I could get in the chariot with them.

Yeah, yeah, because I don't want to have to clob my way through the city in iron mode. Yeah, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but are you taking off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is another mode that you could use. There is a mode just built for speed. Ooh. We need... That's really cool, but also seems like maybe dangerous with dying and bloody people. Ken, I don't know where we are right now. I know we're in the docks, but where's the closest church? It's a little ways away. All right, Gwen would say, let's go there and Calypso, if you don't hit that run thing.

Uh oh. Calypso will kind of like, I think this one makes it go very fast. Can you make sure that no one falls off? I can do that, yes. And they'll nod and hit the button. All right, so I assume like we're holding the two unconscious people and like on to the thing. Yeah, guardrails come up, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you remember. So like, yeah, just in case. Totally. I wouldn't do that to you. So cue the Fast and the Furious going through these horses intestines and you're going to flick on the NOS and fire is just going to shoot out the ass of the horse. And you guys are going to take off down the cobblestone streets of Brightport making hairpin turns, just trying to get to the better side of town.

And I think that is a good time for us to stop for the evening. Wow, what a fucking mess. Yeah, but I got this thing that ended up being a good choice. Zach, if you want to hit me, I get it. Like, it's fine. You look so sad, you never look sad. Nope, I'm good. Just hanging back. We're going to the church. I don't. Yeah, we'll see what we can do for Paxton. I really hope we can get him back. He's such he's so fun for the party dynamic. We need him. I we're going to fade out before this. I'm just going to. We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors. Please don't go anywhere.

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